like day and night
dark on the outside
very black and white
simple in shades of greys
but inside there's a light
some emphasize the outside
to look very shiny & bright
but inside there's a darkness
a darkness black as night
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Picking thorns off roses
Cap guns, cops & robbers
Hand knitted sweaters
Red bugs on pebbles
There's a hedgehog on the dirt road
I hope we can avoid it with the car
My brother jokes that we'll go over it and it'll pop our tire with its spikes
I look out the window to try and see it
I don't care about the tire, but i hope he wasn't serious
We pull up to the house and get out of the car
Kiddy lock is on so i have to wait till last
The house is next to train tracks with a field over the backyard fence
There's a picnic bench out the front
Surrounded by white pebbles
I crouch down to pick one up and a tiny red bug quickly runs all around on the pebble
The windowsill has ornaments
Are they angels? Fairies?
The side yard has rose bushes
All different colours
I walk up to the red rose bush
I want to pick one but i'm not allowed
They're covered in thorns
I don't like that, why does a rose need thorns?
If i were allowed to pick it, how would i hold it by its stem without getting pricked?
I pick the thorns off the roses
I'm a little scared i'll get in trouble
But i'm not picking the roses
Just its thorns
That's better
The stem is smooth with no more thorns
I look at the thorns in my hand
And place them on the tips of my fingers like claws
I hear a bang and turn around
My brother and our cousins run past me
They're playing cops and robbers
with cap guns
We're called inside for lunch
The table has frankfurts and tomato sauce laid out
My aunty, mum and nana bring out a cake and start singing
Oh that's right its my birthday
I'm 4 today
They place the cake in front of me
Its chocolate with choc malt sticks all the way around
In the middle are 4 baby dolls
One is wearing blue and white
Just like my blue sweater, hand knitted from nana
and the white ribbon in my hair
the baby doll is holding a bouquet of roses
The other 3 baby dolls are enjoying a swim in a pool made of blue jelly
They tell me nana made this cake for me
I smile, she made this? Just for me? This is amazing
I blow my candles out
And my cousins want to eat the cake
But i don't let them
I take my cake to the hallway and sit down with it
to play with the baby dolls swimming in the jelly pool
It was made just for me
I love it too much to eat it
I'm called into the lounge room for a surprise
Me, my brother and my cousins squish up on the couch together on top of a loony tunes blanket
Nana points a camera at us, and I stare at her confused
Why is she taking a picture? where is my present?
My mum and aunty bring in a box
I hear something inside of it
And there's holes on the sides
They open up the box and pull out a small tabby kitten
I love kittens so much and tabbies are my favourite
And this one is my very own? I'm so excited
I hold it and pull it up to me
What are you going to name her? They ask me
I name her the first thing that pops into my head
Kittylock
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Hands are unbearably beautiful. They hold on to things. They let things go.
~Mary Ruefle
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