#everything is normal and fine and nothing is out of the ordinary

[woooarya]

If there was an autistic person on the tardis they would just go “this is normal actually and everyone experiences this.” There would be no WTF moments about seeing an alien species. Just “Yeah okay cool I don’t need to ask any questions”

#maybe rhats just my personal brand of autism tho. just be like that #everything is normal and fine and nothing is out of the ordinary #doctor who #autism

[mydearlybeloathed]

𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 (?)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you, now a successful singer, and sanji, now a pirate, reunite unexpectedly when you return to baratie for a one night only performance.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: opla!sanji x fem!singer!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4k

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: use Y/N, zeff is a meddler, mild angst

When Sanji woke up that morning, he hadn’t expected a song would be the one to bruise his ego.

It was a relatively normal morning, filled with shuffling around the Going Merry with a pen and pad asking for special grocery requests. It was the usual, for the most part; Zoro wanted alcohol, Luffy asked for lamb, Nami needed brown sugar for something she wanted to make, and Usopp requested chocolate chips. 

All a routine order to convince Zeff to hand over, Sanji mused, flipping shut his notepad as the Merry docked at Baratie. Another supply run was nothing out of the ordinary. They’d be out by the next morning if he had any say in it. 

Then he saw the mischievous glint in Zeff’s eyes, and suddenly, Sanji was nervous.

“What?” He tried to laugh it off. When all Zeff did was clap a hand on Sanji’s shoulder, the Strawhat cook’s curiosity turned to panic. “Zeff, you’ve got that look. What is it?”

Zeff shrugged and led the way further into the kitchen. It was early in the morning, breakfast being prepared as the two spoke. “Ah, nothin’.” He smirked to himself. “I’m just debating whether I should tell you, or let you find out.”

Sanji blinked, now very, very concerned for his own wellbeing. “You should definitely tell me.”

The old man let out a laugh and completely ruined Sanji’s day with just two simple words: “She’s back.”

There was no need for elaboration; Sanji knew exactly who she was. His heart dropped and all color drained from his face, jaw effectively slack. The sight had Zeff’s chest hurting with how hard he laughed.

“I—Why in the seven hells would she be comin’ here, Zeff?” Sanji clawed at his hair, sitting back against a counter and stumbling for his senses. “Last I checked she wanted nothing to do with this place.”

Zeff tutted. “Last I checked she wanted nothing to do with you, little eggplant. She left Baratie with nothing but fond memories of me.”

“That’s—!” Sanji faltered, lips pursed. “That’s fair, actually.”

“Just thought I’d warn you,” sadi Zeff as he moved to shoo a younger cook away from some vegetables and started to chop them himself. Sanji took his place beside him and found himself a knife, mincing some carrots to speed the process along.

Zeff smiled warmly. “She offered to come sing for the guests. I wasn’t about to turn her away. I raised you both. It’s natural I miss her. Then you said your crew needed more supplies the same week she’s here, and well… Would it be wrong to admit this is turning out really well for me?”

“No,” Sanji snapped back. His neck ached and his shoulders were tense, but he just kept on chopping away with practiced ease. “How in hell is any of this good?”

“You two used to be fine as friends,” Zeff reasoned. “It’s only when ya’ tried bein’ more that things went south.”

Sanji didn’t need Zeff to remind him that he’d completely, utterly, definitely screwed up any chance of being at least friends with you again. He knew that. He’d accepted it long ago. It didn’t mean Sanji was any less heartbroken about it.

“Relax,” said Zeff after he had enough of the suffocating silence. “She’s over you. You’re over her.” He finished up the vegetables and called back over the nervous little cook. “I’m sure you know her career took off. She came back to sing for Baratie before her tour ‘round the seas.”

He clapped Sanji on his shoulder and shook him a bit. “One night only. It’s sure to be great.”

Sure, except everything that Zeff had just said was entirely wrong. Sanji was in no way over you.

And Lord knew you weren’t over him either.

Across the sea-top restaurant was you, face pale, eyes wide and glaring daggers into Patty and Carne. The pair stood exchanging worried glances as you sputtered out words they could hardly understand.

“Bastards!” That they could gather. “Why didn’t Zeff tell me Sanji would be here? The only reason I accepted the invitation was because I knew Sanji was off playing pirates.” You tugged at your hair. “Or he’s supposed to be.”

“Don’t look at us!” Patty said, hands raised in surrender. The burly man offered a consoling smile. “Zeff didn’t know.”

You pointed a finger at him, a wild look in your eyes. “So you think! So you think! I bet he arranged this whole thing behind our backs!”

You knew you sounded crazy. Hell, you felt erratic at this point. Seeing Sanji was not something you were mentally prepared for just yet. You rubbed at your temples. “God, I haven’t seen him since I left.”

“It’ll be fine,” Carne siad, his hands settling on your shoulders and giving you a little shake. “Just fine.”

Patty nodded and caught sight of your agent peering around the corner she was eavesdropping from, tapping her watch with a pointed look on her face. Patty mimed rushed assurances and turned back to you. “I doubt he’ll even have the nerve to show up. Not after everything.”

You wiped a stressed tear from your eyes. “You think?”

Patty started to guide you down the hall toward the room your panicky agent was now awaiting in. “Yep. He’s a wimp like that.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, slowly nodding your head. “He won’t even show up. I’ll go out there, do my set, talk to Zeff again, and book it outta here.”

Your steps were more confident as you headed for your room. Carne rolled his eyes at you, in a fond kind of way of course. “Atta girl.”

You pumped a fist as you disappeared around the corner, and the two men could breathe easy now that they were free of your scathing eyes.

જ⁀➴

Ever since you and Sanji first met, it’d been complicated.

Zeff didn’t believe in letting women work in his restaurant. He knew what type of guest his establishment attracted; from the sleazy rich to the sketchy pirates, Zeff didn’t believe it was necessarily safe for women to work there. 

But then there was you, some scrappy ten year-old from the docks of some port he couldn't recall the name of.

You’d been playing a guitar far too big for you, an upturned hat before you. Zeff was bartering for a fair price on some radishes not too far away. He caught the tailend of a song as you finished, the only word to describe the sound being angelic. But Zeff didn’t have time to listen to street urchins play guitar. 

Hours passed and he was back in Baratie's kitchen, sitting at the table eating some soup he’d prepared the day before. All was well and all was quiet. The ship was back at sea. The storage was fully stocked. The little eggplant was out of the way for once. He had a moment to breathe.

“AGH–AAAAH! ZEEEEFF!”

A moment short lived, and he was back to adolescent induced suffocation. The old man’s brows pinched, a migraine on the horizon. Maybe if he ignored it…

The kitchen doors swung open to reveal none other than the eggplant—Sanji’s face was all red, his hair a mess, and he was dragging a girl behind him with a fist in her hair.

Zeff jumped to his feet, this being the last thing he expected when he heard Sanji’s whistle note scream. “Sanji—!”

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!” The girl—you—offered a swift kick to Sanji’s groin. You massaged at your scalp while the boy keeled and flopped over in agony. “Bitch, you ripped out some of my hair!”

Sanji groaned, practically writhing. Zeff nearly felt bad, until he recognized you. “You’re the kid from the docks!”

Before you could offer your quippy reply, Sanji had sent a kick to your shin that had you joining him on the ground. Idiots, the both of you.

Zeff had meant to kick you off when they docked at a port the next month… but, well, you had nowhere to go, and he’d grown used to how you and Sanji bickered back and forth so seamlessly. 

(He’d known before anyone else that you and Sanji had something special, even if the pair of you were too stubborn to admit it.)

Zeff didn’t think he’d ever make an exception to his rules, but then there was you, and there wasn’t much use in saying no to you. 

It started as being a hostess, guiding guests to their tables, and then it was bussing tables. You even tried your hand in the kitchen and were swiftly kicked out after the first fire scare. Then, you’d asked to sing, and Zeff had no objections. 

But even as he grew to think of you as part of his odd excuse for a family, itt was obvious to him that you had no wish to dedicate your life to the restaurant. 

You’d had to abandon your guitar when you stowed away on Baratie, but your voice had no hindering. He heard you when you thought no one else cared to listen—Sanji did too, and Zeff always thought the eggplant realized he loved you the first time he heard you sing.

Sanji wouldn’t try to disagree. He knew there was a point in the timeline of him knowing you where his annoyance at your existence turned into a kind of reverence he had no power to stop. He swore you were a siren, sent from the depths to torment his every waking moment. 

As he grew older his affections only grew worse and worse, until he couldn’t help but kiss you—his very first mistake.

Sanji knew he was far from perfect, and he was far from ever deserving such a sweet love as the one you offered, but God, how he tried.

He failed, always, and that was a torture he tried not to dwell on.

Every time he fell for you, you seemed to fall harder, and he was never good at keeping up. You had dreams and so did he, and as the years drew on, it just… didn’t work, and the on-again-off-again romance was draining you both of any chance for fixing what was left of your friendship.

He tried to blame it on wrong place and wrong time, because he hoped it wasn’t simply wrong person. Sanji promised himself he would keep trying to be good for you until the day he died—but he kept failing. He kept disappointing you, breaking things off only to start them up again, he kept charming other women right in front of you.

Nobody’s perfect, but he could’ve at least tried a little harder.

Then came the day you’d left, finally having enough of his indecision and going out to fulfill all your dreams… With barely a goodbye to him. You’d left a note, of course, but it was short and cold and heartbreaking: “Dear Sanji, don’t miss me. Sincerely, Y/N.”

Sincerely. How was he ever supposed to recover from that?

As far as Sanji knew, you were doing well. There were posters and radio announcements about you, this up and coming star with the voice of an angel. 

And now to the present, where he stood taking a smoke outside the Baratie’s entrance. The moon was high and the stars peaked out from the clouds. The long trail of guests filing into the restaurant for dinner was thinning. 

Sanji took a drag and imagined you, in your room having last minute jitters before heading out to sing. 

“Sanji?” It was Nami, stepping out into the chill night air, concern written all over her face. “You coming?”

His pause was a bit too long, and Nami tried again, “You don’t have to…”

“I…” He wanted to. God, how he wanted to hear you sing again. “I think I’ll stay out here.”

She stood there a moment longer like she wanted to argue, to snap some sense into him and get him to at least try to speak to you. There was so much history, after all, even if Nami didn’t know the half of it. But she went back inside with a hefty sigh, leaving Sanji alone with his tendrils of smoke and wallowing self-pity.

જ⁀➴

Your agent, Flora, was messing with your curls, pulling them over your shoulders as you tapped your thumb on the wood of the guitar hung around your shoulders. 

“Now,” she fussed. “There’s a platform set up at the center of the room. I tested the acoustics at dawn before anybody else could get inside and it's perfect. Just right.”

Her little smile faded when she caught your eye. “Hun, what’s wrong?” She raised a brow. “Is this about that boy?”

You tried to evade the conversation with a roll of your eyes. “Flora…”

“Because I wasn’t going to tell you this,” said Flora. “But he’s been wandering around all day trying to catch a glimpse of you. Ran away every time I caught him. Had to get that Zoro guy to get him to knock it off.”

You aren’t sure why you felt surprised. You yourself had been wandering Baratie hoping you’d catch sight of that familiar mop of blond, but alas. “Do you… think he’ll show up?”

Flora took your hand. “Do you want him to?”

“No.” Yes. You wanted to see him. You wanted to know if he was doing better, if he was better, if all the bad of the past had shaped him into the Sanji you knew he could be.

“Then go out there and sing.” She had an aura of comfort and calm you often envied. “You know what song’s first, right?”

You thought of the setlist your drummer had brought to you that morning and felt your stomach drop. “Flora, I can’t sing that song to him—”

“You’re not singing it to him,” she cut in, starting to lead you out of the little room and down the hall to the grand staircase leading into the dining room. “You’re singing for all those people waiting to hear the songbird incarnate, Y/N L/N.”

You grinned tightly. “No pressure.”

Descending the stairs was the easy part. People clapped as you glided down as light as a feather, guitar around you and a light shining down from somewhere. True to Flora’s word a round platform awaited at the center of the dining room. It was small, but you had a bit of moving room. You accepted the hand of your drummer and stood up on the platform, shooting him a smile as he went back up the stairs to where the rest of your small band was ready to play. 

You turned and suddenly there was a microphone to your right. Had that always been there? 

“Hello, Baratie!” The applause met you at full force, easing some of your tension. Sanji was nowhere to be seen, and you weren’t sure if you liked that. “Look at your beautiful faces tonight. Oh, and there’s Chef Zeff too!”

That got you a couple of laughs before it died down again. “I’m so happy to be back here. Baratie was a home of mine once, and it’ll always have a place in my heart.” Your hand brushed your guitar strings and sent an unpleasant sound into the mic. “All right, enough sappiness. You all want some music, right?”

You cast a glance up at your band, felt a rush of familiarity, and nodded. A steady beat began and you began to strum a practiced tune on your guitar, the callousess on your fingers straining under the pressure. 

“I remember when we broke up—the first time. Saying ‘This is it, I’ve had enough, ‘cause like…’”

“This isn’t working out,” he said, not a pinch of the light you'd come to love in his eyes. He looked cold and unkind, but the frown he was giving you betrayed his own heartbreak.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re… better as friends. I just need some space to think.”

“What? Then you come around again and say, ‘Baby, I miss you and I swear I’m gonna change, trust me…’”

He chased you relentlessly until his hand caught your wrist and spun you around. All his words fell short at the sight of your tears. “Y/N…”

“You said it would be different,” you reminded him. Bitterness flooded your senses. “What was her name? Did you even catch it before you unzipped her dress?”

Anger boiled in his eyes. “I didn’t—I just kissed her!”

“Just,” you laughed mirthlessly, shaking your head as you ripped yourself from his presence and stormed away.

“Y/N—”

“Don’t, Sanji!”

“I’ll do better! I promise.”

“Remember how that lasted for a day? I say I hate you, we break, you call me, I love you.”

You tried not to search for familiar faces in the crowd, instead shutting your eyes and letting the music take over, and not the lyrics.

But you were a weak woman, and your eyes pried themselves free to scan the room.

It was dark around the dining room, and the lights Flora had managed to set up were blinding, but there he was. Sanji was by the door to the lower decks, his icy eyes bearing into you with such an intensity you stumbled over your guitar strings. You picked the melody back up before it was too noticeable, but he was smirking, that son of a bitch. 

Sanji noticed. He always noticed everything about you, annoyingly.

“I’m really gonna miss you picking fights, and me falling for it, screaming that I’m right, and you would hide away in your peace of mind…”

“I never said I didn’t want you to go!” Sanji screamed back at you. “I think it's the chance of a lifetime and if you want to, you should go.”

That’s not what you wanted him to say. You took your ground, staring him right in the eyes. “Do you want me to go, Sanji?”

“That’s not—”

“No, I mean…” You took a breath. “Say the word and I’ll stay. I won’t go. I’ll stay here and sing my silly songs on a crate covered in a tablecloth. Just tell me you want me.”

“I…” Sanji wanted to, you knew, but he was too kind. He wasn’t going to trap you here. You could see him choosing to be mean right before your very eyes. “I don’t care if you stay or go, Y/N. Go if you want to. I don’t care.”

You didn’t go in the morning, and the rich patron sailed away with the offer of a lifetime. 

“I used to think, that we were forever—ever. And I used to think, never say never…”

Sanji hadn’t realized Nami and Zoro were beside him till the jeering began.

“Damn,” Nami laughed into his ear. “When you said you broke her heart I didn’t think you meant it.”

Zoro cast him a teasing look. “You were a douche.”

Sanji’s cheeks burned. “We were kids! I…”

“Relax, we’re joking.” Nami nudged his shoulder before she turned back to you. “She’s watching you, by the way.”

“She is?” Sanji snapped his head back up a little too quickly, but he didn't care. Nami dragged Zoro back to their table, leaving Sanji to stare absolutely starstruck at you. You really were watching, an odd kind of look in your eyes. 

It wasn’t angry or sad or happy… but Sanji was sure he had a similar look in his eyes.

“So he calls me up and he’s like, ‘I still love you’...”

Your eyes locked with his and a burning sensation filled your chest. He hadn't changed much. More handsome you supposed, if you let yourself think it. 

“And I’m like… I’m just… I mean, this is exhausting, you know? Like we are never getting back together…”

He tried a grin and a little wave, and memories flooded back in an instant, both the good and bad. You somehow found it in yourself to offer a smile back, and you knew then, the song was probably a lie.

“Like ever.”

જ⁀➴

“Hi…” He found you on the back terrace of the Baratie, where the fish mouth of the restaurant opened up the starry night sky. 

You weren’t pretending to not be waiting, a glass of your mutually favorite wine across from you waiting for him. 

He sat down, mostly because the smile you offered him was enough to buckle his knees. 

“Hey,” you replied, averting your eyes to your glass. 

Sanji wasn’t exactly sure where to begin, but he started with, “I think Zeff set us up.”

You snorted. “Oh, definitely.”

“Uhm…” He looked out at the sea, then at his wine, then at you, and settled on keeping his eyes there. “You were wonderful. Radiant, really.” The stars faded from his eyes as mischief replaced it. “I liked your opener.”

You rolled your eyes and flushed from your neck to your nose. “Thank you. I had good inspiration.”

“I’d say my bad, but it was a good song.” Sanji felt as breathless as he used to, when he was sixteen and just learning how much he cared about you. “You were perfect. Are perfect. Can I still say that?”

You chuckled. “I—I guess so.”

Silence filled the space between you, clicking glasses and chatter from the bar feeling very far away.

“The drummer was good—”

“I think I still love you—”

You slapped a hand over your mouth, watching Sanji’s mouth open and close like a confused fish. His ears burnt pink and a spark of opportunity filled his beautiful blue eyes. You locked eyes, and Sanji started to laugh.

The sound was better than any music and flowed from his lips like honey. Chuckles bubbled up and out of your chest till you were gripping the sides of the chair you were in as you joined in on his uncontained and unending cackles.

He wiped at a tear and tried to get a hold of himself as your laughter died down as well, and he found himself admiring how you looked under the golden lighting of the terrace. “Would it be bad if I said same here?”

There was a brief pause before you threw your head back again and laughed over and over, drawing closer to Sanji till you were side by side, knee to knee, laughing loud enough to warrant a noise complaint.

“We’re hopeless,” you mused.

Sanji shrugged. “Yeah, but what’s new?”

A lot of things, actually. Things felt different, but the same, and it was odd for you both. The same love was there along with the bad memories tagged along with it, but you and Sanji had more experience behind you now. You were older and wiser and good God, you were no longer teenagers.

Some years ago it had been wrong place, wrong time, wrong… wrong everything.

But now you looked at him and instead of seeing the boy who used to break your heart, you saw Sanji. Your childhood best friend. The man who you once thought could be the love of your life.

Maybe… perhaps… it wouldn’t hurt to give it just one more go. All right, maybe you were getting back together. You could see the pair of you meeting back at Baratie a year later, your tour long over and his crew docked for the week. You’re lovers despite distance, awaiting a someday where your dreams finally align.

Sanji pressed a tentative kiss to your forehead, testing the waters in the wake of your laughter, and asked if you wanted to meet his crew. You nodded, meaning to stand when a boy in a straw hat vaulted over the back of the seat across from you and sat down. Then a girl with orange hair and boy with green, closely followed by a dark skinned boy with tinted glasses over his eyes. 

You took Sanji’s hand in your own and blushed at how he admired your profile like you’d hung the very stars in the sky. Yeah, you could see it.

#sanji #sanji vinsmoke #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #one piece live action sanji #one piece sanji #black leg sanji #sanji vinsmoke x reader #vinsmoke sanji x reader #one piece live action x reader #one piece x reader #sanji x y/n #sanji x you #opla sanji #opla sanji x reader #opla x reader #x reader #reader insert #female reader

[chososchalupa]

I LOVE UR BULLY MEGUMI X READER CAN I HAVE JEALOUS MEGUMI

Thank you sm <3 ! I wrote this super quickly so im so sorry if its not the best! I've had the worst writers block lately. Hope you like it!

Training / Megumi Fushiguro

No warnings, Megumi is jealous bc Toge exists basically. not proofread + wrote this when i was half asleep but i had the urge to write after not having any interest for like a week so here it is

WC - 595

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

12:23

Seven minutes until class was over and you hadn’t heard from your boyfriend, Megumi, since 9:00 this morning. 

✧.*

You had tried catching up with him after training was over but he had mumbled something about being busy and left. Your friends Toge and Maki watched as he gave you a small smile before turning and heading back toward the school.

“What was that about?” Maki asked as you walked back over to them

“Yeah, he’s usually attached to you after training?” Toge laughed, “Wonder if he’s going to check on Yuji, It’s not normal for him to miss training”

You nodded, it was unusual for Yuji to miss training but you remembered him talking about a mission Gojo had assigned him for today. You racked your brain for reasons Megumi could be acting odd today. You met up for breakfast as usual and he was fine, the two of you walked onto the field and everything was fine. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. 

✧.*

“Still haven't heard from Megs?” Nobara asked as the two of you walked out of your classroom

“Nothing. He hasn't even responded to my tex-” you stopped mid-sentence when you saw the spiky haired boy walk into the cafeteria. You said a quick apology to Nobara and ran towards Megumi.

“Megs! Wait up!” you called as you caught up to him, “What is your deal today? You haven't talked to me at all since training this morning”

“I’m fine” he responded, not looking up from his phone as he continued walking

“Did I do something wrong?” you asked

Megumi took a quick glance at you before responding with a simple, “No.”

You sighed in defeat, choosing to continue walking in silence beside him.

The two of you sat at a table alone, not speaking until Toge, Maki and Nobara sat down with you. 

You noticed the quick glare Megumi threw towards Toge and then it hit you, the mornings training was different. You were usually paired with Nobara but since she skipped, Gojo had decided to pair you up with Toge and Megumi with Maki. You didn’t see the change as a big deal but Megumi must have felt otherwise.

You made small talk with your group of friends before excusing yourself and grabbing Megumi by the arm, forcing him to follow you out of the cafeteria. 

“Is this about me being paired with Toge this morning? You know I didn't choose to be partners with him!” You crossed your arms as you looked up at Megumi.

He sighed before nodding, “I know, it's stupid. You just looked like you were having a lot of fun training with him. You guys spent more time joking around than you did actually training.”

You rolled your eyes before wrapping your arms around his waist, “So you’re saying you're jealous?”

Megumi returned the favor by wrapping his arms around you, “Shut up” he mumbled, kissing the top of your head.

“You have nothing to worry about, Megumi. Toge is a great friend but I love you and only you. Nobody could ever compare, especially not Inumaki” you giggled

Megumi pulled away after giving your head one last kiss, “I love you. I’m sorry for getting jealous, maybe I could make it up to you?”

You giggled at his question, “And how would you do that?”

“Let’s skip the rest of classes today and watch movies and cuddle in my room?”

You smiled brightly up at the dark haired boy before grabbing his hand, “What are we waiting for then? Let’s go!”

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #megumi fushiguro #inumaki toge #megumi x reader #toge x reader #nobara kugisaki #maki zenin #jjk x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #jjk megumi #jjk fluff #megumi fluff

[mrsshabana]

gyutaro x reader, but... reader is secretly a eldritch horror. like if he asks a question (ex: where did you get that?) they'd be like 'don't worry about it, dear~' or 'That doesn;t reeeeeeaally matter, does it? I'm just happy you like it, love~' just reader giving the most the overly ominous vibes when it comes to stuff they do. and gyutaro hasn't seen reader eat like normal humans so he'd assume they too is a demon but noooo reader is SO much more

ya dig or no?

𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐄𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡!𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

꒦꒷‧₊ Summary Somehow Gyutaro piques the interest of an eldritch being. He has no idea what you are but he can't help but feel undeniably drawn to you. ꒦꒷‧₊ Content Canon!Gyutaro x ???!Reader, reader technically doesn't have a gender BUT reader takes on the form of a female. ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 2k words. I actually REALLY love this idea... I kind of just went on a whim and wrote this. It's very different from what I usually write and it's very mysterious. But I hope you like it anyway!

It was a foggy night.

Gyutaro stands in a pool of blood. Having followed a demon slayer out of the district and into the nearby woods. Ending his life as soon as he turned his back.

Nothing out of the usual for Gyutaro. But everything felt off somehow. The air was thicker, the dew on the grass felt damper, and the wind seemed to whisper to him. He could feel each individual speck of moisture hit his skin as the fog traveled through the air.

He stands there, feeling something similar to dread but also somehow comforting at the same time. Unmoving as he stares at the corpse before him, too overwhelmed by the environment to enjoy his meal.

He blinks.

"So... pretty you are," you stand inches from his face, caressing his cheek with a hand that feels devoid of life.

Gyutaro's body completely freezes up. How did you get there? He never saw you approach him. One moment he was looking at his prey, and the next there was a woman right in front of him.

He feels like he can't breathe, like the air left his lungs the moment your skin touched his.

You remove your hand from his cheek, "What kind of... creature may you be?" You ask as if you already know the answer.

And for some reason, Gyutaro feels compelled to answer you immediately, "I'm... a demon."

It's a similar feeling to when he's in the presence of Master Muzan. Like he has no choice but to obey. Like it's in his DNA to obey you. Or maybe there is another force that gives him no choice.

The corner of your lips slowly curl into a smile, "How lovely..."

For some reason, it feels incredibly difficult for him to avert his gaze from yours. But with all of his willpower, he manages to do so. Looking down at you, observing your form.

You look like an ordinary human woman. But your aura feels like something else, something that terrifies him to think about.

You're quite beautiful too. Having a perfectly symmetrical face, almost too symmetrical. It took him far too long to notice that you were completely nude. Your body looks ordinary as well at first glance. But when he looks closer he realizes that there is a fine, black dust covering your skin. He doesn't know what it is, but the smell of it reminds him of burning corpses.

But underneath that strange smell, he doesn't smell a human nor a demon. You don't smell like anything at all. Perhaps the smell of the universe if that could be described.

"Wh-Who are you...?" he croaks.

"Mm... You may refer to me as," you pause for a moment, "Y/N."

"W-Well Y/N, you must be very cold," his voice quivers, "Let's get you inside."

He has no idea why he would even suggest such a thing. Demons shouldn't fraternize with humans like this, but you just feel so different. He can't help but feel overwhelmingly drawn to you.

"Yes... let us do so... Gyutaro," you say while gently taking his hand.

Without thinking, he takes your hand and turns towards the district. Completely forgetting his meal.

And that's when he realizes, he never told you his name.

+:｡.｡　⛧　｡.｡:+

Gyutaro eventually stopped questioning what you were. Maybe you were just a very strange human? Or perhaps you were some type of other creature. If demons exist then it isn't out of the realm of possibility that you were some kind of creature similar to himself.

He got no answers to his questions about you, but all he knew was that he enjoyed your presence.

You'd come around often. Sometimes you'd stay multiple nights with him before disappearing. Most of the time you'd sit in silence together, allowing him refuge in your arms. You'll stroke his hair and comment how his birthmarks are "Atramentous" and "Abyssal yet prepossessing."

He loved the way you spoke to him.

And he'd gravely miss you when you'd leave. Sometimes for days on end, only to reappear again in a similar fashion to the first time you met. Nude and covered in a mysterious dust.

There were so many things about you that he didn't understand. Like how you seemed to always know what he was thinking. And how you would only blink if he noticed and thought about how you hadn't been blinking for too long.

Your movements, your speech, your presence - everything about you was alluring. He didn't know if it was because you were otherworldly, or if it was because he only saw you as such. After all, he loved you.

Maybe love makes you view someone in such a way? Like they are quite literally out of this world. He's never experienced love, so to him, it made enough sense to look past the strange things you did.

But Daki could not look past it like her brother did. She was terrified of you. You never did anything to her, but you didn't have to. She could feel something off about you, and it made her incredibly uncomfortable.

And every time she even thought about mentioning her discomfort to her brother, she'd be struck with immeasurable dread. She couldn't explain it, but it was enough to keep her quiet. So she lied to her brother and stayed out of your way.

+:｡.｡　⛧　｡.｡:+

It was a foggy night, almost identical to when you first met, when you asked him to follow you into the forest.

He followed you blindly. Not out of fear or lack of control, but because he trusted you completely.

You lead him to a lake in the middle of the forest. How has he never noticed it was here? He's explored the wilderness surrounding the district hundreds of times over the century that he's been alive. And he's never once seen this lake.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" You say with a smile, though the somber tone in your voice betrays you. You sound as though you're mourning something very important to you.

"It is," Gyutaro smiles despite noticing your tone, "I've never noticed it was here before."

"Maybe you have never noticed it because you didn't need to."

"Maybe," he grins, always enjoying the allusive way in which you speak, "It reminds me of you..."

"How so?" you cock your head to the side like you're surprised by his statement.

He steps closer to the body of water, looking down at the calming ripples on its surface. "It's mysterious and beautiful..."

For the first time, it seems like the words coming out of his mouth weren't what you were expecting. When you speak with him, it's as if you always know what he will say. But not this time.

"Thank you," you murmur. "Perhaps we are one and the same... this lake and I." You step closer to him, your shoulders touching as you look down into the lake as well. "Would you say... that you love this lake?"

His cheeks turn crimson as he nods, "Y-Yes, I do."

You smile, leaning your head against his shoulder, "It loves you too."

The two of you sit in comfortable silence, watching the water ripple and the moonlight twinkle on its surface. Gyutaro never notices how the ripples seem unaffected by the direction of the wind.

"Do you love it so much that you want to become closer to it...?" You whisper, looking up into his demonic irises.

His mouth opens for a moment, then closes momentarily before opening again, "I want to be as close as possible to it..."

"... to become one...?

He nods eagerly, "M-More than anything..."

"If it is your will... then it is ours." You leave his side and begin slowly walking towards the body of water, removing your clothes as you do so.

Gyutaro's eyes widen and he follows your lead, removing his clothes as well without question.

Once he's rid of his clothes you turn around and hold his face in the palms of your hands. Slowly pulling him into the water. He feels as though he's in some kind of trance as he follows you deeper, but at the same time, it feels like he's exactly where the universe wants him to be.

As the water surrounds his body it feels almost embryonic. Warm and comforting, like he's being embraced entirely by you.

He follows you until his feet no longer touch the bottom of the lake. The only part of him above the water is his head. He watches as you slowly descend into the water, it envelopes your face but you remain keeping eye contact with him.

You gently pull his face closer to yours until your lips touch.

Gyutaro's eyes close as his entire body feels ethereal. Light yet heavy, happy yet sad, alive yet dead.

His lips stay connected to yours as his head submerges under the water. Sinking endlessly into the lake, your kiss never breaks. He doesn't realize that he stopped breathing long ago. Nor does he feel any urgency to breathe or return to the surface. All he wants is to stay here forever, with you.

To his dismay, you break the kiss. Gyutaro opens his eyes and sees you. Yet it entirely isn't you. Or at least it's not the you that he's used to seeing.

You are everything yet nothing all at once.

In his eyes, you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

And as you pull him deeper into this seemingly endless abyss, he sees a flicker of light coming from the darkness below.

It gets closer... and closer... and closer...

His eyes widen when he sees what it is. A moon. But not just a moon, it appears to be the surface of the water.

Gyutaro wants to reemerge on the other side - to be with you. But he feels like he has an important decision to make. One he doesn't quite understand.

Feeling compelled to look behind him, back to the direction in which he came, he does just that. But he doesn't recognize the scene from which he left. It was a calm night, was it not?

Then why does he see fire and ash?

Why does he feel so sad? Looking back, he feels so many things. Like a complete failure, filled with so much self-hatred. Like every decision he made didn't make a difference. Everything he tried to do was for nothing because he couldn't escape what the universe had planned for him. He was cursed from the beginning.

He took and took his entire life, but no matter how much he took from others he could never have it for himself.

The scales would never tip in his favor. It was destined to be that way from the start.

But with you, his curse isn't ignored nor is it gone. It's celebrated and accepted. When he's with you, the scale is flipped upside down.

Gyutaro swims deeper and never looks back. Reemerging on the other side.

His head rises out of the water and he opens his eyes to see you. You look... normal? And nothing seems out of the ordinary. The lake and the forest look exactly the same as they did before he went under the water.

"How do you feel, my love?" you chime, holding his hands beneath the water.

"I-I feel... great," he looks around, sedately, "Perfect actually." Finally, he smiles.

"I'm so glad to hear that." With an elated grin, you lead him out of the water once again.

The two of you make your way out of the lake. And he sees his clothes lying on the bank, just where he had left them.

He bends down and picks up his trousers, but pauses when he notices something unusual. A fine, black dust on his fingertips.

"Are you excited to spend eternity together?"

#gyutaro #gyutaro shabana #gyuutarou #gyutaro x reader #gyutaro x y/n #gyuutarou x reader #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #eldritch horror #𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 ʚ♡ɞ

[beenbaanbuun]

inhaler w/ yunho

i wrote this bc i’m sick at the minute and so my asthma is 10x worse than usual and (as always) i have no fucking clue where my inhaler is :D

——————————————————————————

forgetful!asthmatic!reader who always misplaces your inhaler mixed with clueless!boyfriend!yunho who can’t help but feel a little lost

okay so we all know he’s a sweetie pie but i just feel like he’d be a little nonchalant about the situation when he first finds out

he just kind of brushes it off because asthma’s a pretty common thing, right?

and like, it just means you get out of breath a little quicker, doesn’t it? nothing to worry too much about

besides, you seem to have it all under control - what could he possibly do to help that you don’t already do for yourself!

there’s no point in him worrying over something that he doesn’t need to

but then he’s over at your apartment for a movie night, the two of you snuggled up together on the couch

he’s trying to pay attention to the film, but he can’t help but notice that you’re breathing a little heavier than usual

he keeps an eye on you out of the corner of his eye, just because he’s a good boyfriend and he wants to make you’re you’re 100% okay

and despite the way your chest is rising and falling like you’ve just come off of a 4 mile run, you seem perfectly happy

you’re not behaving out of the ordinary or doing anything you normally wouldn’t, so you probably have it all under control yourself

so once he’s sure you’re not dying, he stops checking on you so much because you seem like you’re fine, other than the obvious

and even if you weren’t, he wasn’t going to overstep and assume anything; you’d let him know if you needed his help

but then after a few more minutes, he hears you take a really deep breath, like you’re trying to fill your lungs to the brim with air

that in itself is a little concerning, but then he hears you wheeze as you take in the breath, the tightness in your chest now audible

his gaze shoots to you again, only this time he’s definitely concerned about you

“are you alright?” he frowns, “what was that?”

you look at him confused, eyebrows furrowed because you don’t understand what he’s talking about

“what was what?”

“the wheeze thing you just did,” he confirms, “are you alright?”

and as he says that it dawns on you that this is the first time he’s ever properly seen the effects of your asthma

like sure, your asthma has an effect on damn near everything you do but yunho’s never bore witness to it when it’s at its worst

when you don’t even have to move to be out of breath; sitting there is simply enough to make you feel like your lungs have decreased by 50%

when breathing is a chore in itself and to even feel like you’re getting enough oxygen, every breath you take is heavy and deep

when alongside each of those deep breaths comes a wheeze that you have to learn to block out before it drives you insane

it almost seems like a good thing that yunho has never seen it in full force before; it means that days like this aren’t as regular as you think they are

“it’s just my asthma,” you shrug, “nothing i can’t cope with, yun.”

you say it like it is because it is just your asthma; it’s nothing you haven’t been dealing with since you were a child

but yunho feels like he’s going insane because how are you so nonchalant about not being able to breathe?

“do you need your inhaler?” he asks, “if you let me know where it is i’ll grab it for you.”

you think for a second

you know you should take it, but for some reason you can’t place your finger on where you had it last

“i’ll find it later,” you tell him, knowing it’s likely that you’ll have to scour the entire apartment to find it, “don’t worry too much, okay?”

yunho just stares at you with his mouth gaped because how could you sound so unbothered about the fact that you sound like you’re dying?!?

and what do you mean by ‘find it’? surely you’d know where it is since since it’s, y’know, your medication??

“well i am worried,” he says with a frown, “do you not know where it is?”

again, you shrug

“probably in the bedroom but i’m not too sure where,” you say, “or it could be in one of my bags. maybe my black one!”

yunho kicks himself for not being more attentive of the issue

party because he feels like maybe he’s been ignoring just how bad of an issue your condition really is

but mainly because he should’ve known that no matter the condition you would definitely not be as attentive as you should be

“i’m going to find it,” he gets up from the sofa and begins to walk past you but you grab hold of his wrist to stop him

he just looks down at you with a cocked brow and an unhappy look on his face

even you staring up at him with puppy eyes can’t stop him from feeling agitated at you and your inability to see this as an issue

“yunho, sit down,” you command, but he doesn’t, “yunho, i’m being serious. i’ve dealt with this millions of times; i know how to cope without an inhaler.”

he still doesn’t sit, waiting for you to elaborate

because it’s not that he doesn’t believe that you’ve dealt with it a whole bunch, but he isn’t too sure on whether to trust your method of dealing with it

especially when your method of dealing with most things is ‘let it sort itself out’

“i just need to sit here for a while, alright?” you rub your thumb along the wrist you’re holding, as if you’re trying to comfort him, “it won’t help it, but at least it won’t get worse.”

that sounds an awful lot like ‘letting it sort itself out’ to him, but he doesn’t argue with you about it…

because he can’t help but notice that you’re talking to him like he’s a scared child; all soft and quiet like any loud noise might frighten him

and he realises that maybe he is a little scared of the whole situation, because he’s never dealt with it before

not with anyone, let alone someone he loves as deeply as he loves you

perhaps he just wishes you took your own safety a little more seriously than you seem to be doing, even if he knows deep down that you know better than he does

and maybe he just wishes he doesn’t feel so helpless in this situation, no matter how small it may seem to you

you seem to notice that though

“if you want to do something to help, you can get me a hot drink,” you throw a gentle smile in his direction, “i’ll take my preventative inhaler when it’s time for bed, and we can find my blue one before we sleep”

he thinks it over for a few minutes, trying to hush the voice in his head that tells him he needs to solve this before the problem gets any bigger

he knows it won’t; you’ve told him that it won’t and he believes you

you know what you’re doing, he repeats like a mantra in his head

“do you want cocoa, tea or coffee?” he finally mutters

“coffee,” you say, kissing his arm gently before letting him go, “now stop panicking otherwise you might be the one in need of medical attention, and i won’t know how to help.”

he snorts out a tiny laugh, and you can’t help but think about how nice it is to watch the worry drain from his face

“coffee it is, my little steam train.”

#ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #yunho fanfic #yunho x reader #ateez fluff #yunho fluff

[thelonelyempath]

M!Crush x F!Reader: Subtle (NSFW)

18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

THEME: Smut

WARNING(s): Vibrator, Public Play, Public Orgasm, Rough Sex, PiV Sex, Unprotected Sex, Cum, Squirting, Post Orgasm Torture

This was a request, but I somehow lost the ask. So whoever's anon this was, here ya go!

It felt like roses. Too bad you couldn't react, though. Not outwardly, at least. On the inside, you were in heaven. You and C/N were hanging out with a few of C/N's friends, so he of course took this as an opportunity to play with those vibrating panties he bought you.

"You good, Y/N?" Josh asked, noticing how "away" you were. "Y/N?"

"Huh?" you gasped, frantically trying to make it look like everything was normal and nothing at all was out of the ordinary.

"Yeah, babe." C/N chimed in, smirking ever so slightly. "You good?"

"Oh...yeah. I'm fine. I'm just- mmm- just tired." you lied.

You shot your boyfriend a piercing glare, to which his smirk grew more sinful.

"See, babe." he said, very subtly pressing a button on the remote in his pocket to increase the intensity. "This is what happens when you stay up until 3AM watching TikToks."

You were trying your damndest. You almost couldn't handle it. God, what would Josh and Eric think if you had an orgasm right here in front of them? They'd think you were insane and would never want to associate with you again. You looked at C/N, silently begging him with your eyes to turn down the intensity. He was just being mean at this point.

A few more hours passed. These hours were filled with talking, laughing, video games, and your boyfriend randomly stopping and starting the vibrator. How the hell could his friends not hear it buzzing around down there? Perhaps their gamer rage was too loud for them to notice. Either way, you couldn't take it anymore. You needed to either get off now, or get home so C/N could fuck your brains out. Feigning illness was cliche, but you needed an out.

"Babe, I don't feel good." you whined, leaning against the wall, trying so hard to not climax.

C/N looked at you with a raised eyebrow. He knew exactly what you were trying to do and how close you were.

"Aw, do you need me to take you home, love?" he played along with your fake affliction, turning off the vibrator.

"I think so."

He walked over to you and pressed the back of his hand to your forehead to "check your temperature".

"You're a little warm." he said. "We're gonna head out, guys. Y/N's not feeling well."

They said their goodbyes and whatnot before C/N took you by the hand and walked you out to the car. To make it look more believable, you pretended to be fatigued by grabbing onto his arm and leaning on him. Immediately after getting in the car, the facade was dropped.

"Couldn't handle it, huh?" he teased you, turning the car on.

"I didn't want to cum in front of your friends!" you quipped back.

"They were so deep in Warzone, babe. They wouldn't have noticed if you squirted right on Eric's bed."

"Ew."

"Oh don't act like you didn't like it, love. You were so close to cumming so many times that I could practically feel your legs shaking."

Your face went beet red. C/N, with his eyes focused on the road, noticed this and laughed.

"You're so cute when I get you all worked up." he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it.

He turned the vibrator back on, keeping it on for the duration of the drive home. Once again, roses. It was just the two of you in the car, so you didn't have to hide it anymore.

"Ohhh..." you breathed in pleasure. "goddddd..."

Driving over all those speed bumps was only increasing the pleasure. With his arm outstretched and his hand on the wheel, you couldn't help but notice his muscles. Those sexy fucking muscles. You wished they were holding you against the wall or down on the bed right now.

"Yeah you think it feels good now, babe." C/N said pompously. "I can't wait to hear you scream my name when we get home."

God, even hearing him talk was getting you closer to the edge. His voice was so smooth, so saucy. If butter could speak, it would have his voice.

"Fuck..." you panted.

Another speed bump. This one made your legs quiver.

"You want to cum so bad, baby." C/N observed in a low-toned voice. "I can see it."

"Then fucking let me cum!" you snapped.

"Whoa!" he snapped back at you, pulling into the driveway. "You better watch the attitude or I'm gonna edge you into next week, you little brat."

You rolled your eyes, but you secretly loved when he was dominant like this. You were so goddamn close. You were barely hanging on by a thread. And he was enjoying every second of the torture he was inflicting on you.

"You want to cum? Fine." he said. "But as soon as we get inside, princess, you better cancel everything you've got going on tomorrow because you won't be able to walk."

Finally, you broke. His words produced an intense, powerful orgasm. You whimpered as your legs shook and your eyes rolled back into your head. After a little bit of aftershock, C/N turned off the vibrator, allowing you to breathe for a second.

"You have no idea what you just did, pretty girl." he smirked.

After you both got inside and he led you by the hand to the bedroom, you felt his energy shift. Dom mode was activated. His lips violently attacked yours and he couldn't keep his hands off of your body. You moaned into his mouth as your hands ran through his hair.

"Oh, baby." he breathed. "I'm about to fuck you so good you can't see straight. Strip."

You did as you were told and undressed. He was eager. Eager enough to unhook your bra with his teeth. Once you were completely naked, he pushed you down onto the bed and got on top of you, attacking your neck with his mouth. He left dark hickeys all over your neck as his hands played with your breasts. He was not gentle at all, slapping them around and squeezing them hard enough to leave marks around your nipples. You loved it, especially when he took them in his mouth. His teeth scraping against your nipples felt incredible. It hurt, but in the best way. You couldn't help but moan here and there as his mouth assaulted you.

"I can't believe you're all mine." he said, his hot breath on your skin giving you goosebumps. "My own sexy little fucktoy."

He slid his boxers off and you watched his erection spring free. He was practically throbbing, he was so hard.

"Ride me, princess." he commanded, positioning himself to where you could do so. "Reverse cowgirl."

He wasn't on his back. He was sitting up, leaning his back against the headboard. You got yourself to where you could lower yourself down onto his cock with your back turned to him. Upon feeling him enter you, you moaned again for him. His dick was magical. When you first started having sex with him, you expected to have to fake one or two orgasms every now and then, but your boyfriend had never failed to make you cum.

"That's it, babygirl. Let me stare at your ass while I fuck you."

He had his hands on your hips, rapidly maneuvering them back and forth. As he did so, you started to bounce. It felt amazing. He gave your ass a few sharp smacks, which only added to the pleasure.

"Ohhhh fuuuuck!" you moaned. "C/N!"

"That's right, kitten." he said between his own moans. "You belong to C/N and C/N only. No one else can make your pussy feel this good."

He was right. He wasn't your first, but holy hell, nobody else was able to make you feel the way he made you feel. The day he stopped being able to make you cum would be the day the world stopped turning. With each and every thrust of his cock inside you, you felt all of the negative energy leave you.

"Lean back for me, baby."

You leaned back against his chest, allowing him to thrust upward into you. His cock was brushing your g-spot, which made your eyes roll back. It was ecstasy.

"Your pussy's so fucking wet." he said through clenched teeth. "Feels so good on my cock."

He used his hand to rub circles on your clit, which made you whimper. Everything just felt so fucking good. The combination of his dick pounding into you, your g-spot being touched, and him fingering your clit was beyond belief.

"Yeah," he grunted. "feels good, doesn't it, baby?"

"Mmmm yes!" you could hardly contain yourself.

You never wanted it to end. You were in heaven right now. Your toes curled as you knew you were starting to get close to your high. If he had been fucking you any harder, you would have already come all over his cock.

"Oh god fuck!" you wailed as your body shook.

"Cumming already, princess?" your boyfriend teased, his husky groans and grunts getting deeper and more primal. "Cum for me. Cum for me, baby. Cum all over me."

And just like that, you were screaming. You swear to god you went deaf for a second as you came undone, your juices gushing and spraying everywhere. Your body was so tense. But C/N wasn't done yet. He wasn't gonna stop until he was finished. He continued to pound into you, giving you some painful aftershock. It hurt, but it felt amazing. You couldn't stop twitching, which was making it so much better for him. After a few more big thrusts, his cock started to twitch inside you, signaling to you that he was about there.

"Fuck, baby." he gasped. "Oh fuck...I'm gonna cum...I'm gonna fucking cum, baby!"

Then he let go with a series of deep grunts. You felt his hot liquid shoot into you as he pulsated inside you. After you both took a second to catch your breath and come down, you rolled to his side as he pulled out, his milky cum leaking out of your hole.

"Holy fuck, babe!" he smiled, his face flushed and his eyes glazed over. "I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did."

"It was amazing, baby." you responded, giving him a sweet kiss on the lips.

"I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, Y/N. You drive me fucking insane with how incredible you are."

You blushed as he kissed your cheek, pulling you into him to cuddle. With your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you, you wanted to stay like this forever. Everything was perfect.

#crush x reader #crush imagine #m!crush x f!reader #boyfriend x reader #boyfriend imagine

[munv]

𝗜𝗠𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡 𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗬

𝗜𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝘁𝗼𝘀𝗵𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗲𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂? 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼?

P6

This was it. He'd finally do it..it's been a year since he'd developed a crush on the school star. Itoshi [Name]. 

You were a quiet girl, but that was a part of your charm that everyone loved about you. Like anyone else, crushes were normal around this age. It was small and innocent, school girls talking about who they would marry and boys ranking who was cuter. Nothing out of the ordinary for the boy.

His name was Yuki Kiyoshi by the way, and this poor soul was planning on finally confessing his love to you this week.

There was one smaaall itsy bitsy problem though. The guard dogs. You were admired around the school sure, but nobody really had the guts to talk to you when your best friend Aoi Kagami was always hanging off your shoulder. You were a small quiet child who didn't find the means to interact unless necessary. Kagami was often seen with you 24/7 but because of her imposing stature, some couldn't find it within themselves to confess no matter how bubbly nor innocent the girl was. 

Not to mention you were the type of person to give only short responses, any conversation that was held with you ended with an uncomfortable silence in return. 

That was just your first guard dog though, the second one was a 4-year-old. Now, this would sound cowardly coming from a 10-year-old boy. But Kiyoshi swore something about that kid wasn't normal. How'd he know about this child? he's not a stalker since he finds those scary. He just so happened to be on his merry-go-way home and stumbled on you picking up a child from a neighboring school for smaller kids. 

You looked ethereal with a smile on your face, the sunset complimented your features perfectly. But what really caught his eye was the small boy with the Itoshi family's trademark eyelashes and reddish brown hair. He looked like you a bit, just more gloomy and reddish brown hair. What he noticed was that your bangs were up and tied into a style that complimented you perfectly while the small boy had his hand locked in with yours while eating a blue popsicle;  had his bangs down. It was noticeable if you paid attention, were all Itoshi's destined to be majestic beings or something? 

Nevermind that. That wasn't the problem right now. The issue was that the younger Itoshi glared at anything and everything in sight that wasn't you. It was like a mini chihuahua protecting its owner, and the threat it identified was Kiyoshi. He didn't mean to take this route and meet you, really! 

The usual way he takes home besides the detours he sometimes takes was blocked off due to construction. He figured taking the way you usually take wouldn't be an issue and thought of it as a win-win type of situation. 

Right now he was losing thanks to a certain pair of darkened teal eyes glaring at him. "Yuki-san? What are you doing here?" 

You finally gave him some acknowledgment..have the heavens decided to give him a chance?

"nee-san what's that thing" "that's not a thing Sae. That is a person"

Maybe he got it from you, but it doesn't matter to him. "don't be rude sae, we still have to go to the store to pick up some udon for tonight since mom and dad are out" So you were the responsible type around the household too? not like he couldn't tell but..you really were wife material like his classmates said! "excuse my little brother yuki-san. He isn't really too prone to talking with other people." You put your hand on his head ruffling up his hair in the process.

"no! it's fine really..haha.." poor boy could still feel his glare. Maybe he'd kill him off in his sleep if he was lucky. You quickly caught on to the tension in the air and switched to look at sae, just as quickly, he looked away and seemed unbothered. Strange..You could've sworn he was glaring just now?

"well if we're done talking yuki-san," you spoke while bowing "Me and my little brother will be on our way now" You turned around adjusting your grasp on sae's small hand and getting ready to leave. Well, you were getting ready to leave.

"WAIT!" kiyoshi slammed a hand over his mouth before nervously speaking again when his gaze met yours. "I-I'm going that way too! let's go together?" play it cool play it cool play it cool 

"huh?" Sae looked like he was just about to pounce the older male and rip him to absolute shreds. Which isn't too far off the mark. "why not? I'll have to take Sae home first so we can both change before going to the store though. So is it fine if we split ways once we reach home?" 

"right! of course!" And so, the walk home had started with you three. It was engulfed in silence mainly. Kiyoshi walked a bit far off from where you and Sae were, the first few minutes you all walked side by side he prayed what he saw was wrong. 

Sae inched closer but still within your hold. He looked like he was about to bite his hand off, so he instead settled with walking behind you two. That was when you started a small conversation with him to his surprise. So when you asked 'what made him want to take this route home' he was already stumbling over his words trying to sound all nonchalant. "I- uhm..- Work, wait no! work on road?!" yeah, so much for nonchalant behavior. 

Sae deadpanned at the boy in front of him. Was he going to turn this stupid once he turns 10? Hopefully not. 

the rest of the walk was accompanied by silence once more before you reached your house. "alright yuki-san, thanks for the company" The minute your front door came into view sae had rushed in but not before motioning a neck being sliced off to kiyoshi. As you were about to enter the comfort of your home, you were stopped once again by your schoolmate. "Itoshi-san please wait!" 

Turning around your eyes scanned over the slightly taller figure who had been trembling. 'why is he shaking??' you wondered. "I've..needed to get something off my chest for a while now!" kiyoshi proceeded to bow deeply, unable to look you in the eyes by the sheer embarrassment he  was feeling. "I've..always seen you as cool and calculating, you're really pretty too!" 

'oh no..is he going to vent?' your mind wandered into a frenzy 'How do I comfort him? uh- don't tell me he's comparing himself to me..' 

"yuki-san listen-"

"and i've come to the realization that! I'm.." his voice wobbled along his bottom lip. 'i gotta say it!' he took a deep breath. "IM IN LOVE WITH YOU!" 

The next morning Kiyoshi had his head down in his classroom, seemingly mourning. The question was, why?

"yo! kiyoshi my man, what are you so down for? it's a wonderful morning!" one of his friends Samu Ejiro stated. He was always a bright boy with an outgoing personality no matter the situation. 

"Not now Ejiro.." he mumbled with his arms covering his depress-stricken face. "eh? what's into you? usually, you're fine." another friend of his, Kamado Ayato chimed in. Compared to the other two in his friend group, he was the silent type. Ejiro looked at the boy with a questioning gaze before it finally struck him. "could it be..you confessed to Itoshi-san at last?!" 

His body went rigged at the confrontation. "no way..what'd she say?" Ayato asked desperately. 

"well.." kiyoshi sniffled. 

FLASHBACK

"not interested." you waved your hand dismissively as if the boy before you hadn't spilled out his heart to you. 

"first, we've only talked once." A brick fell on his head. "We're too young." Another one fell on his head. "I can't accept your feelings when it isn't mutual." An arrow struck through his already broken heart. The boy groveled to the ground and soaked in his failure before you. "but get home safe yuki-san!" quickly you walked towards your door after flashing him with the most grammy and jaw-dropping smile in history; all the while closing it with a hard slam.

END

"damn...don't worry kiyoshi! there are many fish in the sea!" Ejiro boased. "she's right though, you're too young to be looking for a relationship anyways." Ayato took a bite out of his sandwich, unaware of how blunt he sounded. "YOU GUYS AREN'T HELPING MY CASE???"

                                          ITOSHI OMAKE

After the confession you rushed inside the house, making sure to slam the door behind you. Taking deep exaggerated breaths you gripped your school shirt tightly. Adding onto the wrinkles you already to it. 

"damn..that was close..kids nowadays are crazy," you muttered before standing up straight. "wait why are the lights off?" You walked deeper into the darkness before navigating your way to the light switch and turning it on in the process. "sae? where are yo—"

Sae sat down within a chair right in front of you, legs crossed as he drank his kombucha in a..mug?.. Your house cat miko was perched upon his lap watching you intently as sae stroked her fur. "So? what was your answer?" 

answer? what is this tiny devil spawn talking about..oh right. The confession. 

"wait you KNEW about it?" 

"I saw the way he looked at you when you picked me up." he took a sip before continuing. "precisely he blinked at you with doe eyes 25 times with 150.2 milliseconds each. He played with his hands and he was very jittery may I add. Along with the way he avoided eye contact and the way he sucked in his breath? yeah kind of hard not to tell." Miko purred in content to the younger Itoshi's statement. 

'what the fuck did I feed him this morning?..' 

"Ignoring the oddly specific stalker-like description you got going on there. I declined. Never really met the guy properly anyways." You crossed your arms with a confused look. 

"good. He looked like he would give me wimpy-looking nieces and nephews anyways."

"WHAT??" 

you forgot to note how sae was sharp tounged too. 

#{-muxis writes #x reader #x y/n #headcanons #headcanon #oneshots #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock #sae itoshi #rin itoshi #itoshi siblings #itoshi brothers #itoshi reader #itoshi sae x reader #sae x reader #rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock sae #blue lock rin #blue lock x sibling reader #older sister reader #blue lock series

[the-californicationist]

Guile & Guilt (Ch. 09)

Soap/Reader - MDNI/18+ AO3 Link

WEDNESDAY — Evening: 2 days until the wedding

The worst part was the pretending. You thought that you’d be in the most pain when you were alone, sobbing in your room, clutching Marlowe like a comfort stuffie, but that wasn’t it. The hardest thing, actually, was smiling when you should be smiling. 

No, the hardest thing was staring down at his bed and knowing you had to sleep in it because why shouldn’t you sleep in it? What reason could you tell her that you weren’t able to climb into his sheets and smell his scent in your nose again?

You couldn’t tell her that the softness of his Rangers jersey felt like thorns to you now. You couldn’t tell her why you’d prefer to sleep on the couch, the floor, outside — anywhere but his bed. No. You had to smile, and it needed to be believable. It couldn’t be a masked grimace through tears like you’d been using to get back and forth from the coffee shop and your bed, unable to even make yourself a boiled egg. 

You’d come down, as planned, for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night, and the real kicker — the stake that just twisted right into your heart — was that Johnny and his whole team would be down, too. Of course all the hotels (of which there were one) and the bed and breakfasts were booked solid. So, they’d all just crash here, as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing except for you. 

You were anything but ordinary. You were desperate for some sort of relief from the pain in your chest. Every time you looked down at your phone, you felt it. You ignored the 47 missed calls and the countless text messages, keeping it on silent no matter what. You’d gotten calls from him, from all of his friends, even one from Ghost. You didn’t return them. You thought he had even come to your door one night, but you didn’t answer it. You couldn’t. All you could do was tell yourself to breathe, to eat, to shower, and to make it to the next hour in one piece so you could get through this wedding without falling the fuck apart. 

“You all set in here, babe?” Pidge asked behind you, watching you stare down at the empty bed, “Johnny’ll be here in just a bit so be sure to claim the good side before he does.”

She laughed. You laughed. You sounded crazy. 

“Makin’ your favorite tonight. Chicken tikka,” she was talking to you like a parent talks to a child when they know something is wrong but are determined not to pry. 

“Thanks, Pidge. I’ll come help in a moment.”

“Alright,” she smiled again and shut the door. 

You dropped your bag and waited what you assumed was a normal amount of time before heading out into the kitchen, a brave mask on in place of your face.

She set you to work after you washed your hands, and you were grateful for it. Pidge was talking for you, retracing her steps from her hen do, telling you the parts she couldn’t remember. It was as if everything she’d said to Johnny had just disappeared into thin air, and you wondered how much of that was by choice or by accident. She didn’t even remember you getting a cab. 

Now, she was gushing about how amazing her photographer was, and how he was coming down for the walkthrough. You nodded when you needed to nod; you smiled when you needed to smile. 

“...told him you’d stand in for me at the altar.”

“What?” You’d missed something important. 

“The photographer needs to shoot Hamish and I, but we cannae be at the altar until our wedding, obvi, so I told him you and Lachlan would be the stag and hen for that practice shoot. Is that alright?” She was looking at you like she’d made a mistake. 

You shook your head,

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. No problem. Whatever you need me to do.”

The front door creaked open and you almost dropped the saucepan onto the floor. 

“Pidge?” His voice called through the house. 

“In the kitchen!” She called back. 

You stirred the sauce. 

He must have been staring at you because Pidge made a comment,

“We’re doing chicken tikka. It’s her fav, and I thought she deserved it after what I put her through last weekend.”

“Aye,” his tone was odd, “I’ll go drop my bag. The lads are on their way in.”

You could tell he left the room. It was as if your body could sense it somehow. You wondered if he was staring at the bed. You wondered if it would feel like thorns for him, too. 

Why would it? 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You screamed inside of your mind. Get it together. 

You stirred the sauce. It was the only thing you could do. If someone had tried to take the pan from you, you might have smacked them with it. 

Hamish came up beside you with the cream,

“Ready for me?”

“Sure,” you held your spoon away so he could pour it in. 

“Smells great. Go sit, lass. I poured you a wine. I’ll make your wee plate.”

You smiled at Hamish and marched yourself over to the table. Price came in and saw you sitting there, and after he said hello to Ham and Pidge, he sat next to you in some sort of act of mercy. Hamish poured him a wine as well and they caught up. Small talk. Just the weather. You performed your vanishing act, becoming invisible. 

Until you weren’t. 

His eyes bored into you from the hallway as he made his way into the kitchen. He was forced to sit all the way at the other end of the table, as far from you as he could be, next to Gaz and Ghost. 

Everyone was chatting, drinking, eating. And you worked hard to be unseen. But, he just kept staring. You felt his eyes when you took a bite, when you dropped your fork, when you wiped your mouth… he may as well have been pinning you down with his huge hands; you were so scrutinized. You felt like you were being dissected, a frog on a student’s desk, your heart plucked out for examination. 

What was he looking for? Forgiveness? Wrath? You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to guess. You wanted to melt into the carpet like a fallen ice cube, to evaporate into nothingness so you didn’t have to feel his eyes on you anymore. 

Suddenly, you looked up at him, catching him. Only then did he look away. He must have seen something inside of you that answered his question. 

You cleaned up the plates, making an excuse to do the dishes while everyone else lounged in the den. 

Then, disaster. Hamish cut himself while putting away his knives. Blood rushed out of the cut and down his elbow, dripping onto the counter and the tile. You rushed over with a towel,

“Here, put some pressure.”

Pidge took over for you, and she told you,

“Go check Johnny’s bag. He’s got a wee first aid kit in there, I know he does.”

You looked around for Johnny to make him do it instead, but he’d gone outside to smoke with Price, so you jogged off to his room alone. His bag was on the bed, and you took a deep breath before unzipping it, staying tight to your mission. Then, you spotted the little red kit near the bottom. You pulled it out in a hurry, and the rucksack dropped to the floor, spilling its contents. 

“Shit,” you muttered, bending to clean it up. 

You tossed all the clothes back in, but you noticed a journal that had fallen out. It was splayed open, its spine facing you. Your hands shook a bit as you went to pick it up. Then, you saw the one thing you hadn’t expected to see: you. 

Your face was sketched out in careful detail. There were little scratches of pen for the shadows, and negative space for the highlights. Your eyes were looking off in the distance, and your smile was soft, almost like it wasn’t even there. You looked beautiful. 

You couldn’t help yourself. You flipped the page. You found a map, and a sketch with some attack dogs, but in the margin you saw Sonnet 91. You turned the page again. Your face was everywhere. Your body, your eyes, your hands… you were scattered across the paper in bright blue ink. Then, Sonnet 145. Coffee stains and what may have been blood marred the masterpieces he had left behind. You flipped again, and it was you. Pieces of Sonnet 29. Then you. You were on every page. All of the images of war and maps and guns disappeared and now it was just you, you, you.

Your heart slammed into your mouth and you couldn’t breathe. You thought of golden sunrises across the Urzikstani desert half a world away, imagining him sitting on the open tailgate of a Humvee with this book open in front of him. You thought of how closely he had watched you for months; how his hands had traced the curves of your body so beautifully sketched before you. How he had noticed the three freckles on the side of your eye, the ones you thought no one could see. 

You shoved the book back in the bag and ran back into the kitchen, first aid kit in hand. 

Pidge noticed something was wrong.

“You alright, hen?”

“Just squeamish,” you feigned nausea, pointing to Hamish’s blood. 

Johnny came back in from the porch, looking at you, distress creasing his brow,

“What’s happened?”

“Hamish…” You gestured at the injured man, pointedly avoiding looking at Johnny. 

“Don’t like the sight of blood, thief?” Price asked, using your nickname. In your periphery you could see Johnny stiffen at the comment, but no one else seemed to notice. Price continued, suggesting, “Why don’t we go for a walk.”

“Thanks, John,” Pidge smiled at him, glad that he could tend to you as she was tending to her fiance. 

You let yourself be led out of the house through the front door. Price had you by the arm, none too gently, you thought, and walked you into the cool night air, wrapping his jacket around you and shutting the door. 

He was relighting a fat cigar, letting the smoke linger in his mouth, walking slowly, aimlessly down the path, without a destination in mind, leading you nowhere. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, knowing the answer. 

“No.”

You weren’t sure why you told him the truth. He was just going to run back and report to Johnny. But, there was something in his eyes that made you think he genuinely cared, and you so desperately needed someone to care. 

“Have you listened to his side of it?” 

“No.”

“Do you want to?”

You didn’t answer. You wanted to say no, but something stopped you. 

Price stopped walking, his boots scraping in the gravel of the path, his bright blue eyes icy and a little sad. 

“Listen,” he frowned, “I’ve known Johnny a lot longer than you. I’ve seen him broken. I’ve seen him scared. I’ve seen him mad, and drunk, and happy, and beaten… but I’ve never seen him like this.”

You crossed your arms in his jacket, trying to find some warmth. Suddenly, you felt Price’s finger dig inside of the neckline of your shirt. You almost knocked his hand away, but he put up his other in a sign of peace. And when he found what he was looking for, he smiled. 

He’d pulled out Johnny’s dog tag from beneath your shirt, and you knew you’d been caught. Price held the coin up to you like the sacrament, discovering your shame, bringing your sin out into the open. In that moment, you wanted to bend down on both knees and take it into your mouth, and you wanted him to make you whole again with it. 

“This isn’t like him,” he said, the porch light made the silver gleam, and it blinded you for a moment, “He’s generous enough with his smiles and compliments, but he doesn’t give freely of himself. Not like this. Would’ve thought you’d known. He’s kept himself hidden all this time. But, not from you.” 

You cried. You didn’t want to. You bit your lip and furrowed your brow. You swallowed your spit and tried to breathe through the tears, but they came anyway. He held you to his chest, and you knew his tee shirt would be wet from your weakness, but he kept a steady hand on your back, regardless. 

He tucked the tag back into your shirt and it lay cold against that spot between your breasts; the same spot Johnny had kissed you when he’d taken your guilt from you the first night you’d been together, there, in his bed. You thought Price would make some sort of face, some judgment. But, he didn’t. He simply walked you back inside and held the door for you. 

You went through it on your own accord, and Johnny’s eyes were the first thing to greet you. He raked them over you like a forest fire, burning you from roots to boughs, seeing Price’s jacket over your shoulders and lingering on it for a while until you handed it back to his captain. 

“All covered!” Hamish chuckled, holding up his bandaged finger to you, “Sorry, babes.”

You smiled, 

“No worries. I think I’m just tired from the ride in. Gonna lay down early.”

Pidge caught your attention, 

“Don’t forget, you and Johnny have to make it before two. Pictures are at two.”

You nodded, retreating to what used to be a sanctuary. Now, it felt more like a cell. 

Your goal was to get to sleep before he could join you. You knew it would be too suspicious for him to follow you into his room, so you had the advantage of time. How strange it was to avoid what you had been craving. 

You climbed into the sheets, and you did your best to ignore all of the memories that kept rushing back. The smear of her purple lipstick across his soft earlobe haunted you like a ghost. 

THURSDAY — Midnight: 1 day until the wedding

He came in as quietly as he could, but you woke up anyway. You tried your best to pretend to be asleep, keeping your breathing heavy and long. It was pitch black, and when he sat on the bed, you heard the familiar creak of the coils. 

He pulled the covers back, he fluffed the pillow, he took off his watch, and then he just… laid there. 

You weren’t sure what you were expecting he would do. Wake you up? Demand your attention? You’d shut him out completely. He knew his company was unwanted. 

The dark voice laughed at you in your head. It knew the truth. It wanted him to fight for you. It wanted him to beg for your mercy. It wanted him to take you in his arms anyway, despite your protests. It wanted him to ignore your wishes. It wanted the animal in him to claim the animal in you, to remind you that you were his woman and that he could do with you as he wished. 

But, he wasn’t an animal. He was a man, and he respected you enough to stay on his side of the line. 

It was only when he thought you were well and truly asleep that you felt his finger graze the metal chain of his dog tags on the back of your neck, not heavily enough to wake you, but enough to feel that they were real. You wondered if Price had ratted you out or if Johnny had noticed himself. You thought it was the latter, knowing him.  

You passed out eventually, listening to the sound of his quiet snoring, your pillow soaked from tears that had spilled out across the bridge of your nose. Tears he wouldn’t be able to touch. 

THURSDAY — 2:00PM: 1 day until the wedding

Saint Patrick’s church was quaint, and the interior was minimalistic compared to other Catholic churches you’d visited before. There was something sort of liminal about the space, as if it were unfinished. You wondered what it would look like when it was full of people. 

You were standing at the altar, fake bouquet in hand, pretending to be a blushing bride. The photographer was very much in charge of this ordeal, and he was as outspoken as he was confident. 

“Okay, perfect. See? She’s perfect. Can you be perfect, too, Mr….?”

“It’s Lachlan. Lachlan Black,” he reminded him for the third time. 

“Ugh, okay. Lachlan. If only you were a little more memorable, but my brain just — whoosh!” The photographer, Gary, made a little noise and a motion with his hand like a bird flying through a window. 

“And you’re just too damn tall, you know that?” Gary sighed. 

He looked around the room, appraising all of the bridal party like a dealer at an auction, looking for the solution amongst the chaff. Then, he waved Hamish up from the front pew, getting him to stand. Gary looked him up and down, and motioned for him to sit again. With a snap of his fingers, he said,

“Hey! You. Mohawk. What’s your name again? You know what — that’s enough names actually. Mohawk will be groom instead. Nice and tall, but not too tall. Yes, yes… okay, thank you, Lachlan… buh-bye.”

You were face to face with Johnny at the altar. 

You felt the panic make your blood rush into your cheeks. It was hard to catch your breath. 

Of all the times you’d imagine being at the altar with Johnny, this was certainly not it.

You stared at your fake, paper bouquet and prayed in your mind, loudly, for a sudden plague. Toads, rivers of blood — whatever you’ve got, Heaven! Throw it down here, please. You begged for a miracle or a smiting. Either would do. 

The Lord did not oblige you. 

“Okay… better! Yes, this is much better. Cute. Can you scooch in a bit, mohawk? She doesn’t bite, I don’t think.” Gary winked.

Mohawk scooched in. You dared to look up into his eyes, and when you did, you knew you made a mistake. You were trapped in him and he was trapped in you. You felt like you were frozen in place, unable to breathe or speak or scream, no matter how badly you wanted to. 

You had a whole conversation with him in the span of those few seconds. You asked him why he’d been covered in someone else at the bar. You begged him to give you some evidence that you hadn’t seen what you saw. You told him about all the nights you’d lay awake, about all the times you’d thrown his tag into the corner of your room, only to crawl on your hands and knees to retrieve it, clutching it to you and feeling sorry that you’d done so. 

He was telling you something as well, but you couldn’t hear him. He was screaming it, you knew that much, but it wasn’t loud enough. 

Gary interrupted you,

“Okay, hold hands around the bouquet, pretty please…”

He grasped your hands, and it was so familiar, you almost melted into him. By some magical power, you held yourself together, but as the camera clicked and flashed, with every moment you lost a little more control.

“...annnnnnnd now the kiss? C’mon. We’re all adults here. This lighting is shit — forgive me, Father — and I can’t deal with the actual money shot being trash. Today, people!”

You hesitated. But, Johnny didn’t. He seemed to set himself, his mouth in a tight, resigned line, and then he held your face in his hands, just as gently as he always did. When he kissed you, he really kissed you. He didn’t fake it for the cameras, and he didn’t hide his passion from Pidge or any of the others. You couldn’t help but kiss him back, letting him guide you as he liked, his big jaw shaking a bit as he let go. 

“Perfect! Okay, and now the happy couple is smiling at the crowd…”

Gary took a step back into the aisle, and Johnny held up your hand in the air in mock triumph, posing for a gleeful moment that didn’t exist. You looked right at Pidge, but she was laughing at something Hamish had said, fully oblivious to the war raging right in front of her face. 

“Alright… well, I don’t know if I’d call that smiling, necessarily, but here we are. Okay. Mohawk, you’re done.”

The way Johnny dropped your hand made you feel like you were on fire, as if he could no longer stand to hold you, or like he had been burned. It was sharp, and you weren’t sure what you were expecting. Did you want him to linger? To profess his undying love in front of his sister and ruin her one special day? You didn’t. So you let his absence cut you like a blade, severing you like a limb from a tree. 

THURSDAY — 7:00PM: 1 day until the wedding

The rehearsal dinner venue, the Auchentoshan Distillery, was gorgeous. Johnny had spared no expense on the stylings, and there was food everywhere you looked. The cakes were elegantly plated, the roast hung shining, its drippings making the shank glitter, and even the boiled potatoes made your mouth water. 

Johnny had obviously arranged the table settings a few weeks ago, because you were sat right next to him and Price, across from Gaz and Ghost. Pidge was two seats down, and the rest of the girls were across from her and Hamish. Lachlan and the other groomsmen were on the opposite side. But, other than for the initial dinner, you hadn’t been made to sit by him much at all. He mingled around the room, talking to everyone except for you, making sure all of the cups were filled and all of the faces were smiling. 

He was an impeccable host. His charisma was electric. And he looked upsettingly handsome. He wore a kilt tonight, one of his hunting tartans, with a sharp button down embellished with gleaming pearl buttons. His shoulders were bursting through the fabric, pulling it taut against his wide back. If you looked carefully enough, you could imagine where his tattoo peeked through.

Gaz cleared his throat, whispering low,

“Have you talked to him, then?”

Your eyes tore themselves away from Johnny to stare at Gaz. You checked over your shoulder to see if Pidge had heard him, and he glanced at her, too. 

“No.”

Ghost spoke at full volume, not caring who heard him,

“Are you going to?”

Price dropped his fork so that it clattered on the plate, giving Ghost a chastising glare. 

“She’ll talk to him when she’s ready to talk to him, and it’s none of our bloody business.”

You didn’t hear much else out of Gaz or Ghost, but as they chewed their food, you could tell that they didn’t believe Price for one damn second. It very much was their bloody business.

And maybe it was. Price had certainly made it his business on your walk last night, and it seemed like your relationship with Johnny was slowly becoming everyone’s business. You had tried your best to return to that same old invisibility you were used to, but it wasn’t enough now. You felt like you were on full display.

“Excuse me,” you got up and fled to the bathroom.

When you opened the door, you saw Bekah and Anjali inside, freshening up their makeup. 

“Hey!” They said in high-pitched unison.

“Hey,” you replied, inching by them to get into the stall. 

“Where’d you disappear to the other night, babe?” Anjali called out to you through the door. 

“Just got too drunk. Took a cab,” you told her, hoping that would end the conversation. 

“Fuck,” Bekah laughed, “That was me, too. Did Cherise tell you about that bloke at Max’s?”

“No,” you said, captivated like a prisoner.

“Arsehole thought he could put something in my drink. Soap saw him and beat him within an inch of his fuckin’ life! You should’ve seen the man. Needed a damn doctor, so he did,” Bekah confessed.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you said, genuinely. Bekah was not your friend, but she didn’t deserve to be assaulted. 

Anjali laughed,

“Soap had to carry her out! She was stumblin’ all over the road.”

“Wasnae my fault!” Bekah protested, “But, he was a gentleman. Drove me home. Him and Gaz.”

“Oh, that Gaz is fine, no?” Anjali interrupted. 

“Aye. I thought Johnny might kiss me back, just this once, but he still didn’t. That lad is harder to wear down than the goddamn Pope, I swear. I’ve given up.”

“Didn’t you sleep together?” You asked, torturing yourself. 

“God, no! He won’t have any of us. Pidge thinks he has, but I’ve never slept with him. Definitely would though,” Bekah gushed. 

“Hasn’t Cherise?” Anjali asked.

“No! Cannae believe it. All this talk for being a big slut and he’s a choir boy,” you could hear Bekah’s voice get louder with her disbelief.

“Shame,” Anjali lamented.

“Aye, a shame,” Bekah agreed, “Was he a good kisser? He looked it. You were quite a pair up at the altar. Maybe he’d go for you, hen.”

You pulled open the stall door and joined them at the sink. Your hands were trembling. 

“Babes,” Bekah noticed, “Are you alright? You havnae seemed well since the hen do. You’re working too hard for this wedding.”

“I’m alright. I think I just need some fresh air,” you smiled, pushing your way out of the door.

When you walked back into the main hall, everyone was standing. A waitress with a tray found you and handed you a glass of champagne. You moved to the side around the crowd to see what all the commotion was, and it was Johnny. He was standing next to Pidge with his glass raised high, clinking it delicately with the side of his fork. 

“Alright, alright. Settle down,” he smiled at his sister, “I know Lachlan is the one supposed to be up here haverin’ about Hamish, but he was kind enough to give me his go because I needed to talk to my sister.”

His eyes found you and settled there, no longer scanning the crowd. You watched him take a breath before he continued,

“If you dinnae ken me, I am Johnny MacTavish, Sergeant of His Majesty’s Special Air Service —” he was interrupted by proud applause, “Uh, thank you. And I am the younger brother of our darling Brigette here. While I was away, Pidge has taken care of my life for me. She took care of our ma when she was ill, and she buried our da without me. She managed to keep the wee house from fallin’ into the river, and still she has time to volunteer at Saint Mary’s children’s ward on the odd weekend.”

More applause. He paused and went on,

“All that to say, my sister doesnae need anyone. But, love isnae about need. It’s about choosin’ to be with a person who makes you feel like you can be yourself, that you can confess to all the desires and the wants and the hopes and the fears that you have inside of you, and you know that they understand you. They see you for who you are, and they love you for it anyway. 

Love isnae patient, and it certainly isnae bloody kind. It loves to boast! And it falls prey to envy. Love is in a rush, and it eats you alive from the inside out. Love isnae about needing. It’s want, pure and simple. To Hammie and Pidge, may you live a hundred years, and may you want each other endlessly in each of them. Slàinte mhath.” 

“Slàinte mhath!”

You drank your champagne, numb and panicking.

Someone shoved a small microphone onto the strap of your dress, clicking it in place, and you stared down at it while everyone else stared at you, waiting.

You breathed into the mic, listening to your breath come through the speakers. You wanted to talk to him, to tell him you’d learned the truth. But, you were surrounded, literally, by all of his friends and family. There was no worse time for your truth-telling. So, you tried to lean on the speech you remember preparing, mashing it together with words that kept pouring from your heart.

“Hello,” you tried out a smile, “I’ve known Brigette for years, and she is the only real family I have. I’m not Scottish. I know the accent gives it away,” some polite laughter, “But, I’m wearing the MacTavish boar around my neck because Pidge welcomed me here with open arms and took me in as if I had been here the whole time. Like it was the most natural thing to do. She’s selfless in all the ways you should be, and she always promised that I would have a home with her. And I love her dearly for that.”

You spoke directly to Johnny, just as he did to you, 

“I’ve been thinking about selflessness, and about making promises. I’ve been thinking about the type of man who does the right thing, even when it’s hard. I’ve been thinking about the type of man who breaks a promise when he needs to break one, and I’ve been thinking about the consequences of our actions. But, when you love someone, the consequence is just… more love. There’s really nothing else, is there? You could get a shovel and dig until you reach the bottom of the earth looking for them, but there are no real consequences when you’re in love. It trumps… everything.” 

You paused for a long time. Johnny was captivated by your eyes, hanging on every word, and you’d been silent for too long. You said, directly to Pidge,

“So, I hope, when you’re wondering if you’ve done the right thing or not, and you’re digging around for the consequences of that, I hope you just keep pulling out more and more love. Just love all the way down. Forever. Cheers, to Hamish and Pidge.”

“Cheers!”

You finished your champagne and walked over to Pidge. Everyone was applauding and talking loudly again, laughing and sharing their own joys about the happy couple. You were overwhelmed, but you wanted to see her. 

Pidge held out her arms and folded them around you, clutching you tightly to her chest, whispering I love yous and thank yous into your skin. You kissed her on the cheek, whispering to her,

“I’m gonna step outside for a moment, are you alright for now?”

“Yes! Go. Take Johnny with you. When he gets sappy, he starts to hover,” she swatted Johnny away as he leaned in to kiss her, fighting through her protests. 

She gave in, melting into him and smiling as he planted a kiss to her cheek. 

“I love you, Pidge,” he said to her, not letting her go.

“I love you, too, Johnny-boy. And I’m sorry for all the mean things I’ve said. You’ve changed. I dinnae ken what’s gotten into you, but all this…” She looked around at the reception hall, “All this has made me realize that you finally see me, you finally see what I’ve been going through, and I’ve been unfair. Thank you, brother.”

He kissed her forehead, trying to blink away tears as he did so, lingering with his lips on her skin before removing himself from her embrace. 

“C’mon,” he nodded at you and took you by the hand, right in front of her, leading you out to the back courtyard. 

The distillery was situated right next to its water source, north of the River Clyde, and the waters churned from a pump run by the whisky makers. The flow of the water was invigorating and challenging, but the calmness of the lake itself was still and quiet; a dichotomy. It was the same within you, a roiling, tumbling sea of glass, ready to shatter.

Johnny turned and looked at you like he knew what you would say. As he approached you, slowly, he held up his hands, trying to hide that they were shaking, offering peace, carrying no weapon, for once. You unfolded your arms, still clutching yourself around your waist, waiting for him to prove you wrong, for him to confirm the truth you’d overheard from Bekah. 

“Are you willing to hear me now, thief?”

“I already heard,” you said, “From Bekah. And I saw your journal.”

He was speechless. All of the things he’d planned to say to you had dried up, and now he was left chewing on their remains. He put his hands on his hips and looked out at the water,

“I’m so goddamn in love with you, it hurts.”

He pinned you with his gaze, then. Watching you take in his confession. He continued,

“It hurts when I wake up, and it hurts when I go to bed. I dinnae ken how to stop it from hurtin’ like this. Feels like I’m burnin’ up, like I’m on fire inside of me. And when you left me, I…” he had trouble forming the words, “I wasnae… I couldnae ken how bad it would be. It was worse, somehow, and I was prayin’ to whatever god that would hear me for some sort of mercy. And I had none. Until I saw, or I thought I saw…”

He came closer to you, reaching around your neck and pulling out his tags just like Price had done. His eyes shone with unshed tears. 

“You made me hope.”

He took your hand in his and held it tightly, as tightly as he dared, and looked you right in the face, 

“I didnae sleep with Bekah, nor Cherise, nor Anjali.”

“I know.”

“I didnae want to, either.”

“I know.”

“I’m in love with you, mèirleach.”

“I’m in love with you, too.”

Johnny used his tags around your neck to pull you into him, kissing you harshly, not allowing you to let go. You kissed him back, pressing at him with your tongue, tasting the champagne in his mouth, feeling his shaven face bristle against your smooth cheek. He moaned into you, speaking to you in a low whisper,

“Please, mèirleach, forgive me.”

“Johnny, there’s nothing to forgive.”

He hugged you to him and you rested your head against his neck, finally able to relax into him after days of being on a knife’s edge. 

But, you were distracted by the sound of a loud knocking against glass. You turned back toward the distillery and saw Ghost tapping on the huge floor to ceiling window and pointing to a microphone in his hand. You looked down and realized you never handed them back the mic from your speech. You were still wearing it, and the red light was on. 

You showed it to Johnny, stunned by your own idiocy. He spun to see Ghost waving slightly, and the rest of the wedding party — hell, the whole distillery — standing behind him in shock

+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Chapter 10 (Ending)

#call of duty fanfic #cod mw2 #cod mwii #john soap mactavish #soap call of duty #johnny mactavish #call of duty #cod #soap x you #soap x reader #soap smut #soap mw2 #soap mctavish #soap cod #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mctavish x reader #cod soap #guile and guilt

[sharksupermacy]

on your mind

on your mind- haerin x lee! trainee! reader

synopsis: haerin picks up a project for minji. how bad can it be?

genre: fluffy, confusion, haerin not know reader is hyein sibling, reader being a trainee, reader has short hair, reader being a little goofy, cat café are good, reader not having good memory pt.2

it was just a normal saturday for haerin.

hyein was laying on the couch texting someone, danielle was laying on the floor basking in the sunlight, hanni furrowing her brows at her notebook while scribbling something down, and minji...

well, she was texting someone in the kitchen. not usual but not to out of the ordinary to get worried until minji started too pace around the kitchen a bit.

haerin peered over from her position on the couch to observe minji a bit more and slowly drew more attention to hyein, who was still on her phone texting.

as the sound of minji stomping in the kitchen got louder, dani eventually woke up, asking haerin what was the banging noise was all about. her response was to simply point to the kitchen, where minji had been airing out her frustrations for the past 5 minutes. dani nodded towards the younger and headed over to minji to see what was making the older so frustrated.

catching bits of the conversation from the kitchen, haerin was able to put together that minji was frustrated that she wasn't able to pick up a project from her partner tomorrow due to her having a schedule. dani being the reasonable person, she asked minji why she didn't think about sending one of the members out instead to get the project.

the oldest thought for a bit and peered over at the living room and asked one simple question, "can one of you guys do a favor for me tomorrow?" hanni responded that she had to finish a couple of lyrics by the day after tomorrow, so she couldn't. hyein said she was hanging out with someone, and well haerin. she had nothing to do, so as best as she could she raised her hand awkwardly and whispered , "i could go?"

"really? are you sure you can pick up my project for me?" minji replied a little bit shocked that the younger would go out her way just to pick up a project.

"yea... but you do know that everything comes with a price, unnie?" the younger member says.

she see minji face fall flat in an all-knowing fashion. looks back at her member, "what do you want haerin?"

haerin brings her hands towards her chin, "i haven't decided yet, so this will be an i owe you type of thing."

"fine. 11 am at a cat cafe nearby the company; i'll text you her contact so you can find each other," the oldest replies.

sunday

haerin knows she shouldn't be this nervous going into a cat café just to pick up minji project. after all, it was only for a short duration, plus the cafe wasn't too crowded. just 2 customers sitting with their coffee one reading a book in the corner and the other well.. was you.

leaning back fully into a chair with your ice coffee despite it being the middle of winter with minjis and your project leaning just beside the chair in a folder. your simple oversized t-shirt folder over your baggie jeans and your leather jacket simply pulled the look all together with short hair too. the best part of all was that you had a ginger cat lying in your lap, fully with you petting it softly.

but of course, something had to break this peaceful sight. "hello? i can help take the next customer here..." there was a worker looking at her as if she were going to order.

"oh uh sorry, i was just going to pick up my friend's project. they are just over there," haerin pointed awkwardly back to the chair you were sitting on.

"OH! i am so sorry! my apologies please take as much time as you need... but would you still like anything to drink?" the employee says.

"nope, i'll pick up my friends project and be on my way. thanks." haerin replies as she makes her way over to the chair across from yours.

"lee yn?" haerin ask nervously when you turn your head away from observing the outside.

"yes? i'm assuming your minjis friend?" you simply chuckled out a response in a slightly lower tone than she was expecting.

"yep. is that the project right there?" she looks at the huge folder by your side noting how cool your boots look.

"yea. all in its glory, i guess you should get going now, wouldn't want minji pretty friend to be hung up now." as you put your coffee down on the floor and simply picked up the cat that was perching on your lap on set it back down to the floor. you quickly picked up your iced coffee and handed the project to haerin.

she quickly thanked you, and just as she was about to leave, until you said something that quickly caught her attention. "oh yea, before i forget i bought you a hot chocolate since it was popular and i didn't know what you like," you simply just stated as you handed her the warm cup. "think of it as my little thanks for picking up minji and mines project," you smiled and waved as you walked out of the small cat café.

haerin could only find a single word to describe you, captivating.

a/n: idk i might make a second part bc it doesn't feel that finish anyways stan nwjns

#kang haerin x reader #newjeans x reader #haerin x reader #haerin imagine #newjeans imagines

[honeyhotteoks]

this night together - chapter ten (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter ten: the truth

chapter summary: seonghwa needs a friend and you say goodbye to your friends and goodbye to them as tour begins.

warnings: nothing too explicit except there is a frank discussion about alpha/omega/beta dynamics and pack dynamics that somewhat mirror real life lgbtqia+ issues like family not being accepting, societal pressures, etc.

notes: thank you all for waiting for me, i can't thank you enough honestly. it took a while to push through and get through the middle of this fic, but we're there. today (12.3) is a special update day, i'm posting three chapters - ten, eleven, and twelve. make sure you're reading in order starting here!

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 5k

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3

Surprisingly the next few weeks pass with relative ease. It’s not painful like before, the crushing weight of their cold isolation. This time you all know exactly where you stand, and with you asking them for space it feels like you’re a little more in control of when and how the next conversation with them occurs. 

You spend the weeks working, keeping things cordial in the studio, and seeing your friends. Keeping things busy gives you less time to step back into that studio room and wonder what you should have done differently, so you fill your schedule up to the brim. In looking forward to the tour and the impending lack of your social circle, you start to reach out little by little to other members of the BB Tripping group too. 

There’s a gap in your life without them, but for now that has to be okay. For now, you grow your life in every other way you can. 

You’re able to focus on everything else until Seonghwa calls. 

Little cafe meetups aren’t out of the ordinary for you both, but meeting at a new spot halfway across Seoul is. You’re normally so attached to the neighborhoods around the studio, so the idea that you’d actually have to take the subway and follow directions on your phone sends little warning signals up your back. He sounded mostly fine on the phone, but something a little whispered in his tone left you agreeing to meet immediately. 

He said he just wants to see you one more time before the tour, but you feel the strange bubble of pretense around the whole set up. When you finally get there, after thirty minutes and much confusion, he meets you at the door with a clear expression of relief. He buys you a coffee and a fancy tiered pastry, and then shuffles you towards the empty, far end of the cafe. 

“The trip wasn’t too bad?” He checks as he pulls out your chair, “I wanted to try this place,” 

A smooth lie, but you’ll let it go, “It was fine,” you assure him, “this street is cute,” 

“Mm,” He nods. 

You have so, so many questions, but you start small, “Three months,” you sigh, settling into the seat, “it feels kind of weird,” 

“Yeah,” Seonghwa pushes your chair in and takes his own seat, “it’s hard to pack for a tour,” 

“I can’t even imagine,” You grimace. 

“You get really sick of miniature toiletries after about a week,” He says, “and you’d think that all the travel would be great, but you end up sitting in hotel rooms most of the time.” 

“Well,” You shrug, “you can always call me for an update on the studio,” 

“Oh, I will,” He laughs, “the time difference is pretty tough though,” 

“Still,” You insist, “we’ll make it work.” 

Silence lulls between you, he nods at your words but doesn’t say much else, and you watch as he fingers fiddle with the handle of his cup, restless and seemingly on edge. He needs something, you just don’t know what. 

��Seonghwa,” You murmur, “is everything okay?” 

“Yes,” He drops his hand into his lap, “completely fine,” 

You chew the inside of your lip, wondering whether to press him, “Are you sure?” 

He looks down for a moment and then nods, “Everything is fine, but I wanted to talk to you about something,” 

“Okay,” 

“Me and San,” He says in a rush of exhaled breath. 

“Oh,” Your eyes widen, completely blindsided by his words. You thought if he chose to share this with you it would be months, years even. He was so closed off after your heat that you assumed you’d let it lie, just like Wooyoung, but here you are. 

“You said I could talk to you about this,” He continues when he sees your expression, “but if,” 

“Of course you can,” You shake off your expression as fast as you can, “I just didn’t know that’s what you were going to say.” 

“It’s just that I’ve been thinking a lot about it,” He says, “especially considering everything you’ve been dealing with,” 

You nod, but keep quiet. 

“I don’t know, I thought it would be good to get it out there,” He confesses. 

“Then I’m here, I’m listening,” You lean forwards, nodding again in encouragement. 

He takes a moment to get his words together, and it suddenly makes sense why he wanted to try a cafe in a neighborhood neither of you lived or worked near. He reached out to you to talk about this, to finally share with someone, and he wanted to be one hundred percent sure no one from your lives would overhear. 

“Our thing,” Seonghwa nods and you know he means his relationship with San and Wooyoung, “it started off a lot like yours.” He doesn’t need to say their names, you know who he means.  

You smile, “Accidental and stressful?” 

“Definitely accidental,” He nods, “we had been friends for years, and Wooyoung always dealt with his heats outside of work and without us really knowing much about it,” 

“Really?” You find that hard to believe with how much he overshares. 

“Mhm,” Seonghwa turns the cup on his saucer one way and then back the other as he figures out how to start. “Usually anyways, but about two years ago he was out for his heat leave like normal, and he called San in a panic. The alpha he arranged to meet flaked out on him and he was too far gone at some heat hotel in Incheon. He didn’t have anything he needed, the alpha was supposed to bring it all,” 

“God,” You grimace at the thought. 

“Exactly,” Seonghwa nods, “he was in a lot of pain and he was really scared,” 

“Of course,” 

“San called me,” Seonghwa explains, “he was nervous about spending Wooyoung’s heat with him, even though he agreed.” 

You nod, but stay quiet to give him the space to continue. 

His eyes dart down, a little unfocused as he sinks into the memory of it, “He was so concerned about hurting Wooyoung or doing the wrong thing, and he was begging me to give him advice. Advice just turned into me offering to drive him to Incheon and helping him shop for supplies, and before you knew it I was up in the room with them both.” 

“Wooyoung was okay with that?” You ask. 

He nods, “Wooyoung was fine, more interested in making sure neither one of us was uncomfortable between his heat spikes,” 

You nod again. 

Seonghwa looks back up to you then and sighs, “Before Youngie’s heat, I had a bit of a crush on San. It was really nothing, just a bit of a flirtation in my mind. Someone to think about alone at night, you know,” 

“Yeah,” You think of Yunho for a brief, flashing second and the way you used to watch him around the studio. 

“But that heat changed everything,” He smiles, a little sadly, “I think you know what I mean.” 

You fight the urge to reach across the table and take his hand, fearful that you might break his willingness to open up. 

“The funny part,” He says, a fresh crease between his brows, “is that San felt the same way. We both knew alpha pairings were a little unorthodox, but for a while we didn’t care. We carried on for a few months, but we kept it quiet so it didn’t interfere with work or any of our friendships.” 

Your eyes widen. 

“Wooyoung still doesn’t know about that part,” He says quietly, “so I’d appreciate it if you kept that between us,” 

“Of course, Hwa,” 

“Things started to go further though. We were going on dates without calling them dates, sleeping at each other’s places, leaving things behind. We were texting all the time, sneaking kisses in the locker room,” He explains, “we just couldn’t leave each other alone.” 

He goes quiet again, and this time you do reach across the table, resting your hand over his twitching fingers, “What happened?” 

He swallows tightly and he looks away again, but his hand turns under yours to press your palms together, “One morning San asked if I wanted to spend the weekend in Namhae, he missed his family and thought it would be nice if we all spent some time together.” 

“Oh,” You breathe, the pieces of their story falling together in front of you so easily. 

“I couldn’t do it,” He confesses, “and I said some things I shouldn’t have. I told him that I loved him, but that our friendship was what mattered to me, and that we were kidding ourselves by not trying to find omegas of our own.” 

Your cringe, “Seonghwa,” 

“I know,” He breathes, his head dropping, “it was cruel.” 

“Your relationship,” You squeeze his hand, “what you had with San wasn’t wrong, you know that right? It’s perfectly,” 

His head snaps up, “I know it’s not wrong.” 

It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room at the expression in his eyes, fierce determination as he snaps to defend himself. You stay silent. 

“I’m sorry,” He shakes his head, pulling his hand back, “I do know that, that’s not why I broke it off.” 

“Then,” 

“My family is very traditional,” Seonghwa says, “they believe that alphas and omegas are made as a perfect match. They believe that every alpha has a destined omega and that a bond, a claim, should be between one alpha and one omega only.” 

“That’s so,” You trail off, unable to really form the words. Traditional is a kind, sanitized word for what it is. You would have said bigoted, downright prejudicial, and your chest aches at the idea that he grew up cocooned in that kind of indoctrination. 

“Hypocritical,” His cheek twitches, “considering my parents loathe each other.” 

You smile at that, “I’m sorry,” 

He shrugs, his cool exterior slotting back into place, “It’s a shame that we’re not a scent match, honestly. My parents would be so proud of me if I brought you home,” 

You take his hand again, brushing smoothly past his comment, “Are they so traditional they don’t believe in packs either?” 

“That’s worse,” He crinkles his nose, “to them.” 

Packs have always been a little controversial, especially with the rise in beta designations and the decreasing likelihood that omegas will find a true honest-to-god scent match, but it’s not unheard of. Polyamory and packs have started to crop back up in popular media, and it’s becoming more and more common to see an omega paired with two or more alphas despite the traditionalist view that it’s a return to baser, more primal instincts. You were raised knowing packs were an option, but as you listen to Seonghwa and understand his past, you know everything for him was the opposite. 

“I really am sorry,” You murmur, “it must have been difficult to grow up surrounded by that mindset.” 

He nods, and then takes a long sip of his untouched coffee. 

The threads are coming together more clearly, but there’s still a question lingering in your mind and the words leave you without any real consideration, “If you don’t believe that, then why break it off with San?” 

He grimaces, “My parents are fairly wealthy,” 

Your stomach turns icy. 

“And you know the money in dance isn’t exactly overwhelming,” He explains, “they’ve always offered their financial support to me, but it’s incredibly conditional.” 

“Hwa,” You breathe. 

“San thought I chose the money over him,” Seonghwa leans back in his chair, separating your hands again and resting his wrists on the edge of the table, “I tried to explain the situation to him, I tried to apologize for what I said and ask him for more time… time to figure everything out and to be able to be financially independent from them, but all he heard was that I wasn’t willing to lose the money.” 

You shake your head, but he keeps going. 

“You know how he is, he’s more headstrong than anyone I’ve ever met. Once he has an idea, there’s no telling him differently.” Seonghwa explains. 

“But it’s not true,” You’re suddenly so frustrated with Choi San you could wring his neck. 

“It is what it is, y/n,” 

“But,” You trail off, deflated, “aren’t you still seeing each other?” 

“No,” He says firmly, “only for Wooyoung’s heats.” 

“And that’s what? Working out fine?” Your eyebrows dart up. 

“For now,” He sighs, “and I’m under no big illusion that he’s going to forgive me and we’re going to go riding off into the sunset. He told me he wanted to be friends and he wanted us to continue being there for Wooyoung and we just let it go back to the way it was, and honestly,” his voice softens, “I’ll take some of him, even if I can never have all of him.” 

“Oh, Hwa,” 

His eyes are a little watery, but it clears quickly and he clears his throat, “Anyways, that’s it. That’s the tragic little story.” 

“That’s just not fair,” You shake your head, “you should be together,” 

He shakes his head, “Maybe, but I’m not willing to risk losing what I do have.” 

“If San understood,” You start. 

“Listen,” He cuts you off, “I know it seems like there should be this big movie scene, where we both admit we hurt each other and put it all behind us, and build a little pack together and have lots and lots of babies, but I just don’t think that’s going to happen. I’ve made peace with that.” 

You can see plainly that he hasn’t, but in the same way he doesn’t push you on your relationship with Yunho and Mingi, you take a calculated step back from pressing down on this particular nerve. 

“Okay,” You say, “well then thank you for telling me, and I’m here if you ever need to talk about it.” 

“Thank you,” The air leaves him in a relieved rush. 

“And Woo doesn’t know?” You’re hard pressed to believe that. 

He shrugs lightly, “He knows something, we’ve spent enough heats together for him to see what’s there, but it’s not something we discuss.” 

“Got it,” You murmur. 

“And you?” He turns the conversation back with ease, “Have you thought about what you’re going to do?” 

You nod, “I’m just going to leave it for a while. I’ll apologize when they come back and the air is cleared a little,” 

“Apologize?”

“They’re not the only ones who’ve messed things up,” You tell him honestly, “and if I could take back what I said, I would.”

“Me too,” Seonghwa smiles softly. 

“Besides,” You lean back in your chair, “you’ll all be gone tomorrow, and I’m sure I’ll talk to you and Woo and San, but you’ll be busy and in a completely different timezone. It’ll be for the best,” 

“Maybe a change of scenery will be good for them,” Seonghwa adds. 

“I hope so,” You murmur. 

“I’m honestly surprised they haven’t said anything to me,” He points out, “but it’s been the same as always,” 

“Really?” 

He nods, smiling a little,  “I thought for a second Mingi was being a little cold, but he just had earbuds in and couldn’t hear me,” 

You laugh sharply, “Well,” you shrug, “I really gave it to them. Maybe they realized being jealous isn’t a good look, especially if we’re ever going to get the chance to be friends or try this again with a clean slate.” 

Seonghwa chews at the inside of his lip for a moment and then sighs, “y/n, do you want to know what I really think?” 

You dip your head, gesturing for him to continue. 

“I think they’re idiots, and I think they acted like assholes and you deserve an apology for it,” You can sense that there’s something more and he continues, “but I’ve made those mistakes. I’ve pushed away someone I care about, I’ve said the wrong things, and I’ve had a hell of a time trying to patch it back together.” 

Your stomach twists. 

“I’m not telling you what to do,” He says, “but I’ve known Yunho and Mingi for a long time. I see the way they look at you, the way they talk about you. There’s more than just an attraction there, there’s something real for all of you.” 

“That’s the part that’s terrifying,” 

“Yeah,” He nods, “and you know, maybe don’t take advice from me, the guy whose love life is beyond a mess, but I also don’t want you to regret anything here.” 

You reach for his hand again and take it without hesitation. 

“I just need to think it through,” You say softly, “and then be brave,” 

Seonghwa nods. You think that maybe if you can be brave, he can too, but you both let that thought lie in the space between you untouched. You don’t need to press him, not after everything he just shared with you and how much more you’re sure is there under the surface, but the thought is still understood by you both just the same. 

“I know you’ll do what’s best for you,” Seonghwa adds after a moment, “but until then,” 

“Until then let’s not think about it anymore,” You finish his words for him. 

He takes another deep breath, and you can see the way telling his secret has lifted something away from his shoulders. He takes another long sip of his coffee and then finally he says, “Do you have anything else you’re doing today?” 

You shake your head. 

“Want to wander around and help me buy unnecessary travel accessories?” He grins. 

“Seonghwa,” You squeeze his hand, “I would love nothing more,” 

“Great,” He runs a hand through his hair, “then let’s go back to Hongdae, I don’t know any of the stores over here.”

“You owe me a train ticket,” You nudge him as you start to gather up your things. 

“I bought you a coffee,” He points out, standing with you. 

“You always buy my coffee,” 

“Fine,” He rolls his eyes but you can see that it’s playful, “I’ll buy you a little thank you present for coming all the way out here,” 

“That’s more like it,” You tease, pressing yourself up on your tiptoes and giving him a quick peck on the cheek, “now let’s go home,” 

Despite your long goodbye afternoon with Seonghwa, it’s harder to really say goodbye to them all on the day than you thought it would be. 

When the last practice before their flight is over, everyone dressed in their coats and hats and ready to go for the night, all of the BB Trippin crew lingers in the front entrance hall. Well wishes, talks of food to try, jet lag tips, the weather. You try to ignore the full suitcases by the door. 

It isn’t until the very last moment that the real feeling of it starts to sink in. 

Wooyoung’s arms are banded tightly around you when the realization of just how long three months is barrels over you in full force. You take a hitched little breath hiding in his shoulder and get your emotions in check, but it’s starting to become readily apparent now. You’re going to miss them, not just your friends, but them too. 

There’s a part of you that fantasizes about throwing up your hands and confessing all your conflicting feelings, chasing them down in the airport like an old movie and laying it all on the line, but you’re not going to actually do that. It’s not fair to anyone if you do something like that. You laid out boundaries for the past few weeks, they more than respected them, and you have no doubt they’ll stay silent over the next few months just like you requested. 

“I’m not going to war,” Wooyoung laughs, squeezing you back once as he tries to extricate himself from your arms, “it’s just tour,” 

“No, I know, I know,” You clear your throat softly, “I’m going to miss you though,” 

“Me too,” He smiles, running a hand through his hair as he steps back.

When you step back from him, Mingi and Yunho are closer than they were a few moments ago and they’re keeping their eyes elsewhere but you can’t let them go without a single word. You can’t. If anything happens to them you’d regret it so deeply, and your hand shoots out to brush along Mingi’s arm. 

His eyes flash with recognition for a second, but he remains cool and calm when he turns to you and you watch Yunho follow suit.

“Have safe flight,” You manage, your chest tight at the idea that this is really it. 

“You too,” Mingi says and then he sighs as he realizes his mistake, “not flight, obviously,” 

“Right,” You smile, his awkwardness breaking the tension between you so easily. 

“Be safe here,” Yunho offers, correcting the sentiment, “and good luck with all the debut preparation, I know it’ll go smoothly with you and Dahan handling things,” 

Your chest warms, “Thank you, Yunho,” 

He nods and then takes a step back, and suddenly there’s nothing more to say. 

“Well, we should go,” Yunho clears his throat, “goodbye, y/n,” 

“Bye,” You manage. 

“Bye, y/n,” Mingi nods, turning to take the handle of his suitcase from Yunho. 

They start towards the door, and you offer a final goodbye, and then a hand in the middle of your back draws your eyes to the side at Seonghwa. 

“Safe flight,” Seonghwa murmurs the tease low into your ear as he gives you a fast hug. 

“Shut up,” You shove him as subtly as you can. 

He smiles, a little mischievously, “I’ll text you when we land.” 

“Good,” You nod, “get some sleep on the plane,” 

He salutes as he steps back and drops an arm around Wooyoung’s shoulders, “Yes, ma’am,” 

You roll your eyes more obviously this time, but before they continue their teasing, Wooyoung tugs his friends closer to the door, “Alright, alright, I’m exhausted and our cab’s outside,” 

“Bye, y/n,” Seonghwa calls over his shoulder as Wooyoung shoves him out the door, and you can hear San laughing from just outside, Yunho’s voice echoing beside it. 

Movement from the door draws your eye, and Mingi hitches his duffle bag up over his shoulder. His lips quirk up in the smallest smile, and he waves, just a little. 

You wave back with a nod, and then he’s gone. 

The studio moves forward just the same. Quieter, but the same. 

You and Dahan spend your time focused on the debut, and despite how much you think of them for just a flicker before you drop off into sleep every night, your body is so tired from work that your mind never dwells for too long. 

Weeks pass around you in a busy blur

Three months doesn’t seem so long as it whips by around you, not unless you really let yourself slow down and think about it. You still get updates from your friends as they hop from city to city, photos online of New World where you can see your best friends in the back, and then their Instagram updates of every new strange dish they try. 

Yunho and Mingi stay quiet, just like you needed, until one night they don’t. 

The email sitting unread at the top of your inbox was sent three days ago. You rarely check your inbox, and there’s a real chance you would have missed this message entirely, but you just happened to be looking for an authentication code at the exact right time and there’s no mistaking what this email is when you stumble across it. There’s no subject, but there is a little preview pane of the first line and your breath catches in your throat when you see it. 

y/n - You said don’t text and don’t call, but you never said don’t email. 

Your heart tightens in your chest and you double check the email address. You don’t have it saved, but just know it’s Mingi. You need a drink for this. You step away from your desk and run your hands through your hair, heart beating fast, and you try to decide what to do as you leave your room for a breath and a glass of anything. 

You pour some wine with shaky hands, the quiet of your apartment feeling so loud around you. If you open it, you won’t be able to live in an ignorant little bubble anymore. You could delete it, really put your foot down about no contact and keep moving on. You could do that. 

You’re back at your desk seconds later with your cursor hovering over the email. 

He’s not wrong. You never said don’t email. 

With a gulp of wine for courage, you press down and brace yourself. 

y/n -

You said don’t text and don’t call, but you never said don’t email. I’m not sending this so you’ll reply, I’d prefer if you didn’t, but honestly I’m not always the best at saying something in the moment. Please forgive this. 

I’ve thought a lot about us the past few weeks and I wanted you to know that I understand why you’re confused. It was hard to see it before. Something made me insane when you said you slept with Seonghwa, and I can see how all that alpha shit would make sense, but that wasn’t it. Not all of it anyways. I’ve spent so much time thinking it through and what really upset me wasn’t that you were with somebody else or even that it was him. I was so fucking mad at myself for letting us go back to being friends. Especially now that I know you wanted us too and we wrecked it. I feel like a fucking coward, and I swear to god I’ve never been a coward before. You make me feel things and do things that make no sense. It’s hard to make sense of anything when we’re together except that I like being with you.  

These things are so much easier to say when you’re not here. Yunho’s better at this kind of thing, and you’re so good at it sometimes I can’t keep up. 

I want to say that I’m sorry for all of it. I really didn’t do any of it right. You didn’t choose us that night but you did trust us, you trusted me and I’ve done nothing but hurt you since that weekend ended. I thought you wanted to go back to being friends, but when I saw you at the studio the day after I couldn’t do it. I thought if I talked to you I would just cross too many lines, I didn’t realize how much more I wanted from you until you left. But I thought about how much it would hurt you if I pushed it too far at work, and then I thought about how much it would hurt Yunho if you wanted me and not him. Or how much it would hurt me if it were the other way around. Or what would happen if you didn’t want us at all? 

I think I should tell you that Yunho and I didn’t talk for a few weeks either, not really. I think we were all just waiting for the other person to say something, but the whole time we were hurting you. I’m so sorry for that. 

I feel bad about the kiss too. I just panicked, I didn’t know what to do to make you stay. I know it wasn’t the right time, so I’m sorry for that too. 

Yunho is sorry too by the way. Someday if we ever talk about this, he’ll tell you himself, but he’s my best friend and I just have to tell you that he hates himself for how he treated you. He’d be so pissed if he knew I was sending this to you, but you have to know it.

I feel like there’s so much more I could say… things that I want the chance to explain to you, things about how I felt before we ever got together, but you said we missed our chance and I have to learn how to respect that. That’s why I don’t want you to respond to this letter. I wanted to send this because I don’t think I can do this face to face right now, I tried to be honest in the studio that night and all I did was make it worse. I hope you at least read this and can understand that, and I promise I won’t write to you again. 

I want you to know that Yunho and I talked, and we agreed on what to do. We won’t reach out, we won’t push you. When we come home, we’d like the chance to be friends again like we were. We want you to feel comfortable with us again and to trust us again. I know we missed our chance, but being friends with you is always going to be better than nothing. 

We care a lot about you. I hope through all the noise you can still feel that. 

While we’re away please be safe and be happy. 

Please don’t respond. Mingi

You read it again, and again for good measure. After the fourth time you close your laptop tight and leave it far away from you. You want to tell him that you’re sorry too, that they’re not alone in making mistakes after your heat and that you all fucked it up together. A perfect mix of insecurity and biology and doubt and fear boiling over to make sure none of you opened up to each other and just said what you wanted. But you don’t say any of that. 

You’ll tell them when they’re home. 

For once you think the right thing to do is to listen. 

You don’t respond.

a/n: reminder, i am no longer doing taglists as they became too unruly to properly maintain. please turn on post notifs, check my blog regularly, or subscribe on ao3 to get immediate updates.

#this night together fic #honeyhotteoks fics #ateez #yunho x reader #mingi x reader #yungi x reader #ateez ff #ateez fic #yunho fic #yunho ff #mingi fic #mingi ff #ateez series

[starburts-addict]

Okay so, this idea was not 100% my idea, but I was allowed to use it, so let's go!

(I'm also using an idea from a manhwa so)

Also also, I usually do gn reader, but for the sake of hijinx, the reader is fem.

OKAY LAST THING, LILIA AND ORTHO WILL BE WRITTEN AS PLATONIC

You were a normal human on earth. Just another anime fan, you liked Twisted Wonderland, nothing out of the ordinary. That was until you died. Your life wasn't to be happy about, but you didn't think it was that bad. 

You woke up. That entire dream was your past life! You woke up crying and your two older brothers came to check up on you as you slept in the same room. Your parents came to check up on you. You now know who they were. They leech family from your favorite game, but… why do you exist? You were never mentioned as a character, there was never any mention that the twins had a younger sibling, let alone a sister. 

Growing up, you always questioned your existence, but you tried not to think too hard about it. Maybe it was just the celestial being's way of apologizing for your untimely death. You got to meet Azul the year you went into the equivalent of middle school. The year Jade and Floyd met Azul. You've met him before and you helped him! But after a very small handful of meetings, Jade and Floyd had purposely tried limiting your time with him. Sure he was odd as a younger version to the version you're used to seeing, but he wasn't that bad! Every Time you tried to hang out with Azul with your brothers, something always came up where you couldn't. It was strange, but you decided not to question anything. What's the point if it can ruin your happiness?

We were fine not being able to attend Night Right College, you were happy with your life! Besides you were a girl, it's impossible for yo- Your parents bribed the Headmaster to allow you to attend as a student? That's new. You never really expressed any desire to go to the school. Although Jade and Floyd do complain about not seeing you as much, must have been on their request. You didn't mind, just caught off guard. Besides! You get to see the cast! Upon realizing you needed to prepare for the story. The plot except the arrival of the protagonist was the only thing you couldn't remember. Drats, you remembered when you were younger, but now, you don't remember one bit. Guess you were going in blind. 

When the time for the entrance ceremony arrived, everything went upside down. Not only was the protagonist one of the protagonists with a face, Yuuka Hirasaka, but everyone's eyes were on the both of you as the only girls on campus. You know this school is an all boys school, but did they have to make a huge deal out of it? At least the main cast didn't seem to mind too much, although Azul's eyes on Yuuka and you were unnerving. (He was looking at Yuuka too right?) You knew things were going to change the second Yuuka and grim have been deemed students and we're under your care. You may not remember the plot, but you remembered details on the main character. Like how they were not granted the position of student as soon as they arrived. Especially the fact that they were supposed to be the dorm leader of Ramshackle, not you.

When you and Yuuka left after the conundrum called the entrance ceremony, you felt like you had become prey despite being a predator. Especially with the eyes on you. 

As the school year went on, you recognized that almost everyone's behavior was, even your brothers, but for different reasons. They kept driving you away from the main cast. Yuuka and Grim were the only normal ones. It wasn't until after the Heartslabyul incident that your dorm mates had revealed the reason for your brother's weird behavior and left you with more questions for the others. Apparently everyone in the main cast has been asking about you. 

Was your presence in this world so impactful? No, it probably wasn't that. It was probably the difference between you and your older twin brothers. Their curiosity should calm down especially with the fact they don't even really know you.

…. Right?

Tags: @bubbles-lounge

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #twst fanfic #yandere twisted wonderland #twst au #yandere vil schoenheit #yandere riddle rosehearts #yandere malleus draconia #yandere fanfiction #yandere idia shroud #yandere leona kingscholar #yandere kalim al asim #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere trey clover #yandere ruggie bucchi #jade leech #yandere jamil viper #yandere rook hunt #yandere lilia vanrouge #yandere cater diamond #yandere ace trappola #yandere deuce spade #yandere jack howl #floyd leech #yandere epel felmier #yandere silver #yandere sebek zigvolt #twst yuuka #twst grim

[k0dzukeiji]

𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 - 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫o

part 2 to Lost cause

synopsis: though you were no longer on speaking terms, you’d never leave him alone, not when he needs you.

genre: angst>fluff, hurt>comfort

warnings: cursing, character death, crying (does that need to be a warning? idfk), mentions of break ups, NOT PROOF READ!!

wc: 1,216

taglist: @mona345 @hihello-pinky

a/n: inspired by that one audio thats like “you came, you called“ PLEASE SUNA IS SO OOC IM GOING TO SLEEP ON A HIGHWAY.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

5 months. It’s been 5 months since you last talked to your best friend Suna Rintaro. Despite not having a real conversation with him for 5 months, you still kept a close eye on him. As you watched him from afar you noticed he seemed to be doing well despite your not being present, of course it was an adjustment for him and he was acting strange for a few months but after a while he seemed to revert back to his normal self. Even after he broke up with Rei, he seemed fine. You figured you had nothing to worry about, he was happy, he was healthy, he was fine.

However recently you noticed something changed about him, he was no longer calm. He seemed restless and stressed, then he didn’t show up to school for a few days. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to miss school sometimes but this? This felt different. This made you worried, really worried. Then you received a text, a text which only intensified your worried.

He texted you while you were in the middle of filling the bottles at practice. You thought of ignoring the vibration that you felt in your pocket when his message came through, but something in your gut told you to check and when you saw the contact name, you were immediately glad you checked.

rin: (Name) I know you don’t want to talk to me right now but I really fucking need you 3:37 pm

rin: I can’t explain now but I just I need you to be here 3:38 pm

rin: Please (Name) I can’t do this without you 3:41 pm

With that, you dropped everything. You didn’t even finish filling the bottles, as soon as you saw the last message you knew he wasn’t lying. You knew he really needed you, you knew something was wrong and he needed you. You left the unfilled bottles at the fountain and started running to where you left your bag.

“(Name)? Where the hell are you going?! Practice isn’t over yet!” The blonde twin yelled as you pushed past him and the rest of the team, leaving them all stunned.

“It’s nothing! I’ll be back soon!” You yelled back as you picked up your bag, the look of worry on your face still very evident. You didn’t even give yourself a chance to change out of your tracksuit. The second you changed your shoes you were out of there.

You ran full speed down the streets of Hyogo until you reached Suna’s apartment building. Panting, you frantically entered the elevator and pressed the button to his floor. As the elevator made it’s way up, you dug through your bag in search of the spear key which Suna had given you in case of emergencies. The elevator made a ding sound as it reached the floor, immediately you ran out of the elevator and down the hallway towards his apartment.

Once you made it to his door, you were extremely out of breath, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was if he was okay. You quickly unlocked the front door and threw your things on the ground as you struggled to slip out of your shoes.

You then ran straight to his room and when you entered, you felt your heart break a little bit at the sight of him. He had the lights off and he was sat at the edge of his bed with his head buried in his hands as his body trembled. You’ve never seen him this vulnerable. Without a word, you walked towards him until you were in front of him. You got down on your knees in front of him, and began to pat his head softly.

He flinched and tensed at the sudden contact but relaxed as a sense of familiarity hit him. He immediately looked up with bloodshot eyes and teary eyes stained cheeks.

“Rin…” Your voice barely above a whisper as you brushed stray strand of his hair out of his eyes.

“(Name)… You came..” His reddened eyes widened as they focused on you, his voice sounded so broken, so hoarse as if he had been crying for hours.

“You called... Of course I came, I’ll always be here when you need me.” Suna pulled you into a tight hug, burying his head into the crook of your neck while squeezing you tight.

“It’s alright Rin, I’m here. It’s gonna be okay.” You said, you were still unsure of what happened but all you knew was that you had to be here for him. You rubbed his back in circles

“N-no…” His voice cracked and he shook his head, his embrace becoming even tighter.

“What..? Rin I need you to tell me what’s wrong”

“Mom…”

“She’s-“ It felt like his words were caught in his throat, like no matter how hard he tried to talk the words wouldn’t come out.

“Deep breaths, take your time.” He nodded his head began to inhale and exhale slowly.

“She’s gone… Mom p-passed away…” You felt your heart stop and you were at a loss for words. You didn’t know what you could say to him but all you knew was that you had to stay with him, no matter what.

“Oh Rin…” You tightened your embrace around him and rested your head against his, bringing one of your hands into his hair to try and soothe him.

“(Name)— I don’t want to be alone, please… Please don’t leave…” As you listened to him you felt a pang of guilt in your chest.

“I’m here Rin, I’m not going anywhere. It’s gonna be okay, I won’t leave.” You spoke truthfully.

“I’m scared… I lost mom and I thought I was losing you too and I— I thought you were going to leave me alone…” Your heart ached at his words, you’ve never heard him admit he was afraid. The cool, calm and nonchalant Suna you knew was here crying into your arms for the first time in years.

“I know and I am so sorry Rin, I’d never leave you alone… I’m here okay? I’m not going anywhere, I won’t leave you.” You said truthfully as he tightened his embrace around you. The two of you sat in a comforting silence while Suna cried into your neck leaving it wet, but that didn’t matter.

“I— I’m sorry for what I said on that night… I didn’t mean it. I’ll always you…” He whispered into you as he shut his eyes, letting all of his cares and worries be forgotten as he laid in your arms.

Soon, Suna’s body fell limp in your arms, signaling he had fallen asleep. Letting out a deep sigh, you press a kiss to the top of his head and embrace him just a little tighter.

“I won’t leave you alone Rin, I’d never leave you alone. I’ll always be here when you need me. You’ll never be alone, not as long as I’m around…” You whispered as you brought him closer, shutting your eyes tightly to prevent the tears from falling. It felt horrible, knowing that he was afraid to be alone and that you had left him alone for months.

You left once, but you have no intention of leaving him ever again. As long as you’re here, he’ll never have to be worried about being alone. You won’t ever leave him alone, not when he needs you.

Fin~

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: this sucks anyway OPEN ENDING AHAHAHAH (imagine whatever you want, originally this had a set ending but the writers block got to me so imagine whatever! If you have any ideas, please reblog them! I’d love to see them ＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／

#arins works✒️ #haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyu x reader #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro angst #hq suna #suna angst #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro x reader #this sucks #suna rintarō #suna x reader #suna rintarou

[sysmedsaresexist]

I do not mean to sound stupid, but I read your post "dissociation is not solely trauma-based", and I was wondering if you knew of any sources or books about it? I think I don't fully understand what dissociation is. For exemple, no matter how I look at it, I don't understand how meditation could be considered like anything close to dissociation, simply because it's also used as a grounding technique.

I'm combining two asks here, because I'm going to cover both in one go :) you don't sound stupid.

You've got to start with the understanding that dissociation is a continuum from normal (aka nonpathological) to "abnormal" (I hate that word, but aka pathological). I finally dropped the wild existence of Dr Jamie Marich, clinical trauma specialist and a pro endo, CDD system, who wrote Dissociation Made Simple. Let me quote because the book is actually good.

Yes, dissociation is so hard to understand that she wrote an entire book about the concept.

"The English word dissociation comes from the Latin root dissociātiō, meaning “to sever” or “to separate.” At this point when lecturing, I usually ask my students: What are we severing or separating from when we dissociate? You may take a moment, before reading on, to ask this question of yourself. Try not to think on it too rationally. Listen to your gut-level response...

For the purposes of this opening chapter, let’s focus on the form of separation that every human being can likely relate to —severing or separating from the present moment—especially when the present moment becomes unpleasant, overwhelming, or otherwise painful."

Dissociation is a disconnect from something-- this can be memories, thoughts, emotions, or, in worst cases, reality. The present moment.

Not all meditation is dissociative, but most is. For example, emptiness meditation is about disconnecting from everything in the moment. You are literally fine-tuning your dissociative techniques. This is also true when you're using grounding meditation to disconnect from overwhelming emotions or thoughts to get back into the moment.

There are a variety of tasks that we either develop naturally or learn as a way to achieve some degree of separation (e.g., enough to stay somewhat present but still get some relief, or going further into totally cutting oneself off from in-the-moment presence). Dissociation of this nature is not all or nothing—it generally happens in degrees and can depend upon how much distress you feel in any given context. We can do this by daydreaming, drifting off, zoning out, zoning inward, disengaging eye contact with people, losing focus (especially when driving), or getting a little floaty in many other life circumstances. Some people frame this “floatiness” as similar to hypnotic trance and others feel it is quite distinct. We may even take deliberate steps to enhance the experience of separation. How often have you escaped into a book or a movie, into your phone or computer, or into some activity, because it makes the harshness of dealing with the present moment and the emotions it can elicit somewhat more bearable?

Let me be very clear, if you said yes to this question, this answer does not mean that there is anything wrong with you! All of these can be quite ordinary forms of dissociation that every human being is capable of experiencing.

A really, really good way to understand this concept is actually through maladaptive daydreaming (MADD), a highly addictive form of dissociation.

Indeed for many of us, substances or other behaviors that cause major surges of dopamine (e.g., spending, computer games, sexually acting out) can become the accelerant of dissociation...

Whenever we become accustomed to dissociating, especially as children growing up in complex trauma, our brain becomes bonded or some would even say addicted to that state of escape. Once chemical or other reinforcing behaviors are introduced to us, they can accelerate that already familiar experience and we become further bonded to that behavior.

Daydreaming itself is dissociative. Point blank. It is both the most normal kind of dissociation, and yet the most common maladaptive dissociation.

Daydreaming and journeying into my head’s imaginative scenarios is another series of behaviors that can have both adaptive and maladaptive qualities. As a kid, they kept me safe. As an adult, they are the source of so much of my creative power—yet if I engage them too long, too hard, or too much, I run the risk of getting lost and not being able to attend to what helping professionals might call my activities of daily living (e.g., eating properly, sleeping, taking good care of myself, getting to work, attending to loved ones appropriately and with good boundaries).

Let's cut away from the book really quickly to look at Eli Somer, the guy who came up with MADD.

Maladaptive daydreaming is a dissociative disorder: Supporting evidence and theory.

The only real thing I want to quote is:

Although trauma may be one causal factor, we indicate several other etiological pathways to the development of MD. We discuss associations with related concepts and suggest directions for future research.

And

MD is strongly related to dissociation and seems to rely on an innate tendency for absorptive and imaginative fantasy. Through its rewarding properties, this form of immersive daydreaming becomes abnormal. MD may thus be viewed as a disordered form of dissociative absorption.

While Somer talks about how it can be a behavioral addiction in that paper, I find this is a more succinct description.

Maladaptive Daydreaming: Epidemiological Data on a Newly Identified Syndrome

Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD) is a proposed mental disorder characterized by excessive, compulsive immersion in vivid and complex fantastical daydreamed plots, generating intense emotional involvement, often accompanied by stereotypical movements. This addictive absorption in daydreaming becomes maladaptive as it consumes many hours a day, generates shame or guilt, hinders achievement of short- and long-term goals or tasks, and overall causes clinically significant distress and/or interferes with functioning in social or occupational realms. Maladaptive Daydreamers (MDers) report a strong urge to daydream whenever they can and annoyance whenever they cannot, and, repeated unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop daydreaming, like other behavioral addictions.

And that's the best way to look at DID and other maladaptive, pathological forms of dissociation. It's a behavioral addiction, an escape that we not only crave, but can no longer live without. Just like you can get addicted to working out and gambling, you can become addicted to severing ties with reality through pleasurable (and in some cases, necessary) forms of escape.

I don't know if this is going to make sense, but I've found looking at dissociation like an upside-down iceberg helps me.

At the top, the widest part, is everyone on the planet, and the basic, general concept of dissociation. Severing from the present moment, be it through your phone, book, daydreaming, meditation, zoning out.

As you go down, and it gets narrower, it becomes more important to put names to specific types and forms of dissociation, and fewer people struggle with these forms. In the middle is a confusing mix of seemingly normal and pathological dissociation. You have mediumship, authors with living characters, OCD (yup), ADHD (shocking, I know), MADD, DPDR, (C)PTSD, people on the edge of forming behavioral addictions.

At the bottom, the smallest point, only pathological dissociation, with a much smaller population experiencing it. DID, OSDD, severe and chronic DPDR, DA.

For people that struggle with dissociation... they fell down a hole and travelled all the way to the bottom of the iceberg. What was once a general, normal, human experience became a very specific problem. Over the years, as they travelled deeper, they used and developed a complex mix of various normal dissociative reactions until it eventually became a named, pathological experience.

I sincerely hope that this helps explain and answers both questions ):

Here's another really interesting paper (from none other than, DUNDUNDUN, Colin Ross).

Maladaptive Daydreaming, Dissociation, and the Dissociative Disorders

#syscourse #pro syscourse conversation #CDDs first #cdd system #actually cdd #did #osdd #actuallydid #actuallyosdd #actuallytraumagenic #plural #actuallyplural #pro endogenic #endogenic safe #system safe #pro system #dissociation #actually dissociative #anti endo #pro endo #resources

[melancholymetropolis]

PillowTalk

plot: A normal breakfast takes a steamy turn.

pairings: Aizawa Shota x Pregnant!Reader

genre(s): Marriage of Convenience AU; Shameless Smut

warnings: MUTUAL PINING. former boss/assistant. mansion in the middle of the woods. stay-at-home wife (kinda). CEO husband. ROLEPLAY. reader is a book nerd. chasing. lowkey beauty & the beast au. toxic ex. library sex. PIV SEX. rough. table top. mentions of voyeurism + masturbation. pet names (princess, little wife, beast, prince charming etc) light breeding. teasing. Aizawa is a simp for his wife. y/n is a dirty -talker. BOTH OF THEM ARE REALLY HORNY FOR EACH OTHER

w.c: 4.4k

Aizawa Shota lowered the newspaper from his view and lifted the coffee cup to his lips. He took a hefty gulp of the cool drink and I felt myself squirm in my seat. 

My kinda-husband was simply too hot for words and I was beginning to lose my mind. His dark hair was pulled into a messy bun at the back of his head, but a few (selective) strands framed his face. He decided to grow out his facial hair a bit, sporting a deviously dark five o’clock shadow. The white dress shirt framing his chest was seconds away from breaking at any sudden movements. The black suit he wore was tailored to his body perfectly— framing his butt and thighs gorgeously. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones or the lack of pleasure I had acquired in recent months— I wanted him. I wanted him badly. 

I wanted my fake husband to toss me to the table and devour me, just like how he did our breakfast.

I wanted him to mount me like the sexual beast I knew he was and pound me into the table.

I wanted him to ruin other—

“How are things?” He asked, snapping me out of my reverie. 

“Uh. . . what things?” I asked absentmindedly. 

His black eyes flicked onto my face, taking in my flushed expression. “Are you hot? Do you want me to turn down the thermostat?”

Oh, I am hot. Hot and ready for you to slurp me like—

“N-No,” I stammered, bringing my iced tea to my lips. I took a slow sip before setting the glass back on the table. “And everything is fine! The doctor said my blood pressure and cortisol levels were not as high as before and were leaning toward normal. She also told me to start drinking okra water and to work on my breathing, since I reaching the end of my trimester.”

Aizawa nodded. “Seems to be all good news. I am happy to hear it.”

“Well, there is only good news because of you and your support,” I said sheepishly. 

The statement was very true, if it weren’t for Aizawa I probably would’ve been dead by now. That was not an exaggeration whatsoever.

We didn't marry for love, nor was this union arranged. It was a simple matter of convenience. I was his secretary and he was the CEO of the company. I was already engaged to another man prior, but he left me mere weeks after I had fallen pregnant. My fiance cleared our joint account and fled the country. Leaving me with nothing. I was forced to consider going back to the united states and sleeping in my childhood bedroom with a newborn.

Aizawa, out of the blue, presented the possibility of a marriage between us. He would pay for everything. The medical bills, food, car payments, baby supplies— all I had to do was manage the house staff: sign off on repairs, oversee their daily tasks, and inform him of anything out of the ordinary. He was basically paying me to be a housewife, without the strenuous duties of cooking, cleaning, and tending to the kids. Plus, Aizawa suggested I get a night nanny so I could rest a little better.

The deal sounded a little too good to be true. But, given the two years we spent working together, I knew he was trustworthy. I took the leap and ended up living an absolute fairytale life for the past 5 months. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Although, deep down, I wished we explored a little past our new normal.

Maybe even find ourselves entangled in the sheets and trying out all kinds of positions.

I’m pretty sure I can still get my leg over my head if I really tried. Giving him enough room to dig deep in me and rearrange my guts.

"You don't have to thank me every chance you get," a small smile stole his face. "In fact, I should be thanking you."

"Oh really?" 

The smile widened and the brunette adjusted his position in the chair. His arms crossed against his broad chest and the buttons strained from the action. The muscles in his forearms flexed underneath his rolled-up sleeves. His biceps bulged a little against the cotton fabric. The longer I looked at him the wetter I felt the seat of my panties become. If he kept being so absentmindedly attractive, I would soon find myself sprayed out on my bed, fingers probing my slick walls, wishing he were on top of me.

Damn, I have it bad.

“Y/N!” Aizawa said in a raised voice. 

I blinked several times and cleared my throat. “Y-Yes?”

“Are you sure you okay?” He asked, leaning forward. 

“Yeah! It’s just the. . . hormones!” I blustered. “You know, all those raging, sweaty hormones that make it hard for me to focus.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are sure it's only the hormones? And not some other factor?”

“Uh. . .” I stammered. 

Aizawa, suddenly, rose from his seat and walked around the round table. His eyes never left my face and a smirk was forming on his lips. He appeared next to me in an instant. He pressed one hand on the table and another on the back of my chair. Aizawa leaned forward until our faces were mere inches apart. 

“I heard you the other night,” he stated, a certain hunger in his eyes.

“What are you talking about?” I gulped.

“You cried out for me,” he said, plainly. “Begging me to. . . how did you say it? Oh! ‘Split you apart with my thick dick’.”

The realization hit me like a sledgehammer. It had been the night he had come back from a run around the block. He was shirtless and the shorts were low on his hips. His sculpted v-line was on full display, along with his sensual muscles. He was breathing so heavily, panting and mewling from the strenuous exercise. He claimed to have “overdid” it this time. He ran at full speed for the last few blocks and all the way up our long driveway. His long hair was, again, pulled into a messy bun, highlighting his sharp jaw and rugged features. 

He looked so hot. So fuckable. I wanted to mount him like the stallion he was and ride him into the sunset. 

". . . Oh," I murmured, turning away from him.

"'Oh' is right," he chuckled. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop but you were so loud and luscious that I couldn't help myself." Aizawa leaned forward, his lips brushing against my earlobe. "And saw you too. Your door was cracked open just for me to see."

Shivers ran down my spine and my womanhood throbbed. His hot breath was caressing my ear, whilst his mouth did the same. His body was so close, yet he wasn't laying a finger on me. The temptation was swiftly sending me over the edge. I hated the slow, seductive game he was playing. I knew the ending would not be in my favor. He wasn't the type of man to spread me open like a Thanksgiving feast, nor was he the type to treat me like an animal. He wanted me begging, weeping for his touch. Despite the rather x-rated thoughts running through my mind at the moment, I couldn’t allow myself to succumb to his game so easily. 

“Who knew you were such a little perv,” I giggled, lifting my mug to my lips. I took a small sip of the hot tea and hummed sweetly. “But, I guess, if I was holed up in my office for 40+ hours a week I’d be a little… frustrated as well.”

His fingertips brushed against my arms, tickling me the same way a feather would. “You are playing with fire, little wife.” Aizawa groaned and gripped the back of my chair. “Ever since that faithful night, I have not been able to think straight. Seeing your legs shake and your toes curl, while you work yourself with that sparkly pink toy—” He sucked in a breath and released the back of my chair. He pushed his body away from mine. 

Immediately, I rise to my feet and turn to face him. The brunette placed a significant distance between the both of us. His breath was labored and his hand was balled at his side. There was an oblong shape intensely prominent near the zipper of his slacks. The member was only semi-hard and I could already tell that was quite massive. Probably bigger that the sparkly pink dildo I had in my nightstand, certainly thicker that the toy as well. 

My assumption was right. 

He did have a long, thick dick.

“I like to think myself a patient man,” he started. “A respectable man. I tried my best to keep my distance from you and to give you all the space you need to grow. To heal from whatever happened before our union. I never wanted to force myself or my desires onto you. I never wanted you to think you owed me anything because we were simply married and living together." Aizawa’s brown eyes bore into mine, just as the morning light gracefully captured his face. It gave him an ethereal glow. Made him look even more beautiful that he already was. “I promised myself that I would not touch you or make any advances toward you until I have obtained your explicit consent. However, being near you, feeling your luxurious presence and capturing your delicious scent, while trying not to press my mouth against that gummy pussy is pure agony. ”

Aizawa was so eloquent with how he spoke, sounding like a pure gentleman. Up until that last bit. 

“So, from what you’re saying,” I said, tilting my head to the side a little bit. “The beloved prince charming I married 5 months ago is gone? And he was preplaced by a horny, insatiable beast?”

A smirk pulled at his lips. “That’s not exactly true, princess. Charming was always a beast, at least during the night. It took a very special lady to set him straight by morning.”

I hummed once more and pulled my braids into a messy bun. I hiked up my dress and gave him a smile. “Where is the closest soundproof room in the house?”

“A few doors down,” he replied. “It’s the library.”

I took off in a swift jog toward the room, turning my head back to say “You can’t catch me, you fearsome beast.”

His laughter was explosive. “Are we roleplaying, princess?” Aizawa shouted after me.

I was already halfway down the hall, the double doors of the library were swiftly approaching. “Only if you want to,” I shouted back. 

“You cannot hide from me, young damsel!” He boasted, as heavily footsteps came stomping my way. “I will capture you one way or another!”

I giggled at the sound of his “beastly” voice and proceeded to quicken my pace. “Please do not harm me, furocious beast. For I am innocent in this matter.”

I have no idea what possessed me to put on this whole act.  Maybe I was watching too much Bridgerton or reading entirely too much erotica, but the idea of being chased by a massive man, just to be savagely fucked in the library was exhilarating. The book nerd in me was jumping with joy.

I pushed through the library doors and sped over to the nearest flat surface. A wide table with several wooden chairs surrounding it. I shoved the chairs aside and hopped right on the table. Anticipation ran through my veins. The big, hulking man burst through the room with a loud grunt. The smile on his face was undeniable. My little charade had done its job perfectly: it had taken us out of earshot of the bustling maids in the house and eased the thick tension between us. Aizawa’s playful mood was igniting something within me. Something I didn’t recognize. It had been a while since I had seen him actually enjoy himself. His smile was so wide and genuine that I thought he was a different person.

Not the stressed-out, sleep-deprived spouse that I often avoided.

But the bubbly, fun husband that I always wanted.

His immediate acceptance and active participation in my game showed me that there was a chance. A chance for us to have a real, authentic marriage. A union where we love and cherish each other.  One where I didn't have to question whether or not he felt the same way.

“Sweet, delicate princess,” Aizawa groaned, inching close to me. “Please allow me the opportunity to voice my desires without prejudice or ridicule.”

I looked away from his face for a moment and tapped my chin. “Fine, you may.”

“I want you. In every way possible,” he confessed, closing the distance between us. “I have wanted you from the sheer moment you opened your heart to me. From the moment you started staying up a little late to have dinner with me, or when you made it a point to pack me lunch on a particularly long day. When you made Sunday nights my favorite time of the week and got me addicted to Outlander.”

“Since when were you into Outlander?” I asked in disbelief,

“Since you started screaming at the TV, cursing out Sir Jack Randal,” Aizawa chuckled. “I never heard you use so many curses in a single sentence.”

“I still can’t believe he did that to Jamie,” I grimaced.

Aizawa nodded in agreement but carried on with his statement. “You have been the object of my desires and the capturer of my heart for months now. I go to sleep dreaming of your big brown eyes and beautiful smile. I hear your sweet voice in my mind all day long and wish I could spend every moment with you.”

I reached out to grab his hands, which he gladly handed to me. I brought them to my thighs and allowed them to hike up my skirt. The beige fabric lifted from its place at my ankles and exposed the bronze skin underneath. Aizawa settled at the small space between my thighs and gently placed his hands at my sides. His brown eyes bore into mine. The older man looked at me like I was the only woman in the world. Like nothing else mattered but us at this exact moment. His gaze was so pure I could almost cry on the spot. 

I hooked my arms around his neck and started to lean closer to him. My eyes fluttered closed and my lips slightly parted. He captured my mouth moments later and his arms swiftly wrapped around my plum form. Aizawa moaned against my lips as if marveling at the sensation. His mouth danced across mine gracefully, following my lead and patiently waiting for the next step. 

My hands were in his hair and my thighs rested against his hips. I gently rolled my damn center over his semi-hard front. The lust was quickly growing the long he kissed me and soon I  wouldn't be able to contain it. The confession had provided me with all the information I needed— our feelings were mutual. He wanted to give this fake marriage some authenticity and turn it into a real one. I was beyond excited.

I tore my lips away from his searing embrace and whimpered as he dragged a tongue along the side of my neck. 

"Take me," I gasped, clawing at his back. "Right here. Right now."

The brunette lifted his head from my neck and immediately started fumbling with the buttons on my blouse. Seconds later, he exposed the lacy number underneath and growled at the sight. His skilled fingers undid the finicky clasp in the back, exposing the plump mounds to his eager eyes. 

"Your breasts are so full and round," Aizawa groaned.

His thumbs gently ran across the pebbled nipples and a hiss left my lips. 

The older male immediately paused his actions. "Did I hurt you,  princess?" 

A blush flickered on my cheeks as I sheepishly looked away. "No. . . They're just really sensitive."

"Well, I'll try to be more careful with them," he stated, lowering his body until his face was directly staring at the bosoms. 

His hot tongue tenderly flicked the right nipple several times before giving it a long seductive lick. Shivers ran down my spine as he kept giving sloppy kisses to the sensitive bud. The seat of my panties was drenched. My arousal practically glued them to my lower lips. My legs were vibrating with anticipation. The hot mouth moved over to the left nipple and I thought I ascended to heaven. Aizawa moaned as he sucked on the breast. He was enjoying the lewd act and it was intriguing to see. 

He released the bud and a long string of drool connected the two as he pulled away. He brought his lips to mine and gave me a mind-numbing kiss. His fingers dipped between my thighs as we made out. He pressed two fingers against the wet area and started to rub small circles right at the top of the slit. My poor clit was already throbbing from the foreplay and it seemed to pulse after that action. I moaned against his lips and pulled away. The area was so wet and sensitive that I knew it wouldn't take long to push me over the edge. Especially after he gave my nipples such delicate care. 

"What a cute face my little princess is making," he purred, pressing his forehead to mine. "Looks like she wants to cum."

I nodded, keeping direct eye contact with the seductive man. "I do, you beast. I want to cum all over your pretty cock and gorgeous face. Will you let me?"

The older man groaned and removed his hand from my panties. "Coming on my face is just gonna have to wait until our next rendezvous. I'm afraid if I don't slip into that dripping wet pussy I'm gonna burst. And we wouldn't want that, right?" 

"We sure wouldn't," I said absentmindedly rubbing my baby bump. 

Aizawa smirked before slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt. He threw the cotton garment aside before fiddling with his belt. His eyes never left my face and that seemed to make his actions even hotter. He pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift motion; leaving the thick, long member to spring free. 

My eyes widened at the sight. He was certainly bigger than I imagined. Definitely bigger than my ex, who could barely last 5 minutes without busting. Aizawa was indeed a patient man, a kind man. That was the only reason I could gather for why God would bless him with such a beast. Maybe I too was God's favorite, since he allowed me to marry such a good man. 

Not only was he fine as hell, tall and rich— his dick was big. I had no doubt I had hit the lottery in the husband department. 

"Are you okay, princess?" He asked. "Would you like to take a breather?"

"I breathed enough," I shot back. "Come take these panties off and pound me with your long, thick dick." 

Aizawa chuckled and hooked his thumbs under my waistband. He pulled the cotton panties down my plump legs and tossed them to the side. He aligned the head of his cock with my womanhood and just before easing himself in, Aizawa paused and gave me a final look, as if to ask me ‘are you sure?” I nodded immediately and widened my thighs a little bit more. The thick member sunk right into me with little resistance, on account of how wet my womanhood was. Pregnancy amplified all my bodily functions to the hundredth degree, including how soiled my underwear became anytime I saw something that appealed to me. Or, anytime I saw my husband.

The brunette helped me lay flat on my back against the table and adjusted the position of my legs. He hooked my limbs over his forearms and continued to push into me. I gasped when every inch was nestled into my greedy pussy and my eyes fluttered closed. I placed one hand above my head, gripping the edge of the table and the other underneath my belly. I braced myself for impact. Aizawa started off slow, rolling his hips against my pelvis gently. I could feel every inch inside of me. The slow thrusts softly pushed against my sensitive spots, causing me to squirm and wiggle underneath him. 

"Can I move a little faster, princess?" He grunted, tilting his hips a little bit. 

"Please move faster, beast," I panted, digging my nails into the table. "I cannot take this teasing any longer." 

Aizawa took a firm hold of the table and chuckled quietly. "As you wish, Your Majesty."

 The older man’s hips gradually began moving faster against mine. At first, my little mewls remained relatively uninterrupted by the change. I pretended to be disinterested in the movements, rolling my eyes and telling him to move faster. To fuck me harder. Informing him that I was displeased by his treatment, Aizawa’s persistent behavior of treating me like a delicate flower was starting to frustrate me. I was a woman above anything else. This pregnancy had almost everyone in my everyday life view me as fragile. Something that could easily be broken with little force and it struck anger in my being. Since my body is sturdy enough to grow an entire human being, I was pretty sure it was strong enough to handle some power thrusts from a man.

“Come on, beast,” I teased, a smile kissing my teeth. “Don’t tell me this is all could do? Some half-hearted pumps and expected me to be satisfied? I thought you were more of a savage than this.”

Without a word, Aizawa started to snap his hips against mine harshly. A good portion of his force was colliding with my body and it made my heart sing. My breath was caught in my throat and my legs started to tremble. I rested my body on my elbows and looked into his dark eyes. He was already looking at my face. The smile on his lips was stirring something within me. Almost like he knew I wouldn’t last long or I couldn’t handle the power of his thrusts. There were two words lingering on his tongue that I was dying to hear him say. Something that would definitely send me over the edge.

The man towering over me tilted his hips once more and a squeal shot out of my mouth. My back fell right back onto the table and I raised both arms above my head to grip the edge. The plush head of the cock was hammering the underside of my cervix, a very sensitive area deep within my cunt. My body started to tremble in response and my breathing became hollow. Pressure started to build in my abdomen and a pool started to form. My walls started to pulse against his massive cock and I couldn’t string together a single thought. My body started to tingle and my mind started to blur. Drool spilled from my lips as my eyes started to roll back. 

The orgasm was slow, deep, and damning. My body twisted and contoured into various weird positions as I rode the hot wave. I said my husband’s name like a prayer, chanting it over and over again. I begged him not to stop, to keep going, to take me to heaven. And he did just that. Aizawa kept his hard, sharp pace. He continued to drill that girthy dick into my snatch like he became addicted to the feeling. My body completely succumbed to the pleasure, not wanting to do anything else but relish in it. It wasn’t long before another orgasm began to build and my legs started to tremble all over again. 

“Fuck!” I cried, arching my back against the table. 

“Come on, princess,” Aizawa cooed. “Give beasty another one. I know you have it in you.”

The older man’s hips started to sputter and twitch, indicating to me that he was next to reach his peak. But, like the respectable man he was, Aizawa continued his sickening pace. Eventually, my eyes gradually opened and I took in the scene before me. A hulking man with rippling muscles and a gorgeous face was looming over me. Drilling his cock in me at a record pace with a smile on his face. He held my legs nice and wide in a seductive ‘v’. He was watching my every expression, movement and taking in my sounds. Aizawa was fully invested in pleasuring my horny, pregnant self and I was grateful. I never wanted this moment to end. I wanted to feel the weight on his body forever. I never wanted to part from him. I needed to be with him as long as humanly possible.

The second orgasm was harder than the last. It tore through me like lightning and forced my toes to curl. My eyes were wide open for this one. I watched Aizawa lean forward and gather me desperately. He held me close and proceeded to rut into my creamy pussy. He pressed his hot mouth to mine while his hips trembled and spasmed. His head fell on my shoulder when the pleasure became too great and he couldn’t hold out any longer. Hot cum shot into my awaiting womb, gradually filling me to the brim. Aizawa’s slow and rhythmic thrusts made the feeling even more sensual. It was as if he was fucking the semen into me, hoping to make me pregnant all over again. 

I never thought I’d have a breeding kink, but his actions convinced me otherwise.

Soon, it was nothing but our labored breathing filling the library. Our bodies were still one and his chest was still pressed against mine. My fingers were slowly running through his hair while his arms were tightly wrapped around my back. It seemed like the older gentleman had no intention of letting me, even though we were both sweaty and panting. It made me feel special.

“Is this okay?” He asked, breaking the silence. “Me holding you like this?”

“It’s fine,” I replied with a sigh. 

“Okay. Just let me know if I am crushing you or the baby.” 

“Alright, Aizawa,” I giggled.

Suddenly, he lifted his head from my shoulder and pressed his forehead against mine. 

“That’s not what you’re supposed to call me, princess,” he acknowledged. “I am your husband, not some stranger on the street.”

“Than what am I supposed to call you then?”

He thought for a moment. “I think Shota would be fitting.”

“Shota?”

“And Beast/Charming on special occasions,” he said with a wink.

----------

a/n: there are hints in the story letting you know what kind of fic I'll be posting next. let's see who can guess it before sunday.

Also, a little update, I will be posting FULL SMUT SCENES from this point forward. So get ready for 2k - 4k worth of filth. Good luck going to sleep at night.

Finally, let me know if you would like to be added to my official taglist. I will be alerting you everytime I upload!

bye for now!

#mha #bnha #mha imagines #mha smut #mha fluff #mha x reader #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #mha headcanons #bnha smut #bnha fluff #black reader #chubby!reader #bnha x chubby reader #x plus size reader #aizawa x reader #aizawa smut #bnha aizawa #aizawa shouta #mha aizawa #mha shouta #shouta aizawa #aizawa x you #aizawa x chubby!reader #aizawa x y/n #aizawa x poc!reader #aizawa x chubby reader #aizawa x black!reader #aizawa imagine #plus size reader

[arting-block]

I absolutely love your writing style & your 11th doctor fics 😊 I’m not sure what your opinions on writing poly ships are, but I’m a sucker for some fem reader x 11 and River, and was wondering if i could request something fluffy and sweet with reader thinking her feelings towards the both of them are unrequited due to River and the Doctor being together already, but of course relationships with the Doctors can always be so complicated so who says he has to love just one woman at a time, he’s got two hands for a reason 🙏❤️

𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬, 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 | Eleventh Doctor x F!Reader x River Song

❝𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥. 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥.❞

Summary: You were just a companion, a friend to the two Time Lords. At least, you thought you were.

Warnings: Angst, unrequited love (not really lol), fluffy ending

Words: 6.1K

A/N: I'M ALIVE!!! This request sat in my inbox and I struggled a bit to not turn this into a fully fleshed out story. I swear this was meant to be a smol lil blurb, your honor. I sneezed and then 5k spat onto my screen idk it just happened I swear...Anyways, gonna try to get to my other requests soon 🫡

Ordinary is not in your vocabulary. Nothing in your life ever seemed ordinary the moment the Doctor offered an adventure in his bigger-on-the-inside box and a devilish smile. No one normal would have given their safety in exchange for life-threatening altercations with aliens, monsters, and the worst of the universe. You hated the ordinary, despised the monotony of everyday life.

You took the Doctor’s offer with a smile of your own, delight and mischief to complement. 

Everything was going well as far as you were concerned. Lives were saved, memories were made, and all the time in the world to do whatever. You were happy, plain and simple.

You embraced the unknown, thanks to the Doctor’s influence. Comfortable with the odd and unthinkable. 

At least you thought you were. 

With each adventure comes injuries. Most are minimal that heal in a matter of days. Others leave scars that are forever etched in your skin. Being the self-sacrificing stubborn human you were, you often became a shield to those in need. In this particular case you had gotten slashed by a knife in a tussle. 

It wasn’t deep enough to be fatal, but it stretched from your collarbone to the side of your neck. Thin line of crimson and a sharp sting when air hit it. Annoying, yes, but nothing you couldn’t handle. 

Your traveling companion had a different view.

You groan, “I’m fine, seriously. There’s no need to fuss over a scratch.”

River, beautiful as she is stubborn, gives you a pointed look. One that borders a withering stare but since you’re you it comes off as scolding. 

“You nearly had your head off your shoulders. You’re lucky I was there to intervene,” came her grumbling response. 

Her fingers find your chin to tilt your head up, her face out of your line of sight as you stare up at the ceiling. You take the opportunity to roll your eyes at her need to coddle you. You’re a grown woman for Christ’s sake, perfectly capable of handling yourself. If anything you’ve encountered worse and had bounced back fine. 

Sure, the knife of your attacker came a tad too close to the artery on your neck. Hell, maybe if your reflexes didn’t kick in fast enough you would’ve had a much different night to spend. 

But those hypothetical scenarios were merely that. Hypothetical. You’ve walked away that fight with bruised knuckles and a shallow, 4 inch cut. 

You were fine. Perfectly capable of handling yourself—

River’s finger finds the hollow of your throat. 

Feather-light, just barely touching the skin. You feel her touch up along your neck sending a chill down your spine. Your breath hitched when it stopped just above your pulse point. Something tugs the strings in your chest. 

A dangerous feeling coils down in your core. 

River’s breath tickles your ear, “Breathe, darling. Can’t have you passing out on me.”

As if on command, your body responds eagerly. You force air to leave your lungs all at once. There’s a slight burn left behind and you're sure it’s not due to your withholding oxygen. 

You clear your throat, “Are you going to patch me up Doctor Song?”

It comes off shaky and quiet.

River’s hand leaves your face and you can finally see her. A curve of a smile and a glint in her eyes that leaves goosebumps. 

Your legs involuntarily shift close.

River gives a shrug, “You’re right, just a scratch. No need for fussing. Unless you want me to patch you up?”

You shake your head, “N-No, there’s no need. Thank you for offering though.”

There’s a painful squeeze in your chest. Regret.

River nods understandably, “I’ll be out of your hair then. Give a shout if you need me.”

You watch as she turns to leave. You can’t help but trace the curve of her hips as she approaches the door. Words clump in your throat, an impulse of a thought racing. Before you can act she crosses the threshold, the door closing behind her.

Somehow it stung more than the 4 inch cut on your throat.

Just a friend. Only a friend.

— — —

You tried to put the encounter with River as far removed from your mind as you can. It was just the heat of the moment, a little rise because it’s been ages since you’ve had a romantic relationship. Not that you needed one. You’re perfectly content with spending your time with the Doctor. Who needs romance when you’re traveling the universe with a quirky alien?…A hot alien.

A hot alien who is your friend. Nothing more.

“Is there something on my face?” the Doctor asked, swiping his chin for invisible crumbs.

His words snapped you out of your haze. Back to the present. 

“Wha—No! Sorry, lost in my own head. What were you saying?”

The Doctor presses a few buttons to prepare the TARDIS for travel, glossing over your admitting to not listening, “I was in the middle of explaining why going to Kaythrona would be a bad idea in comparison to Bouble-4A. Perfect this time of year—trees made of crystals and the water is perfect temperature year round. Perfect water, perfect temperature, perfect getaway!”

His smile is that of pure joy. Infectious to anyone, especially you. 

“Yeah, perfect! You have any plans when we arrive?” you asked, leaning against the console. 

You were an arm’s length away. At this distance you could smell the remnants of his earl gray tea from this morning clinging to his clothes. Wild hair that is tamed on the sides, the cut of his cheekbone, and the hint of stubble along his jaw. 

The Doctor whizzes about the controls with flair. Pushing, pressing, and pulling controls that look indistinguishable from one another. 

“Many, many plans. Oh, (Y/N) you’re gonna love the little markets along the coast. We could go to the seafood restaurant—no, the pearl mines! So much to do and lots to show you.”

The Doctor makes his way around back to you, bumping shoulders as he did so. He turns to you, excited to expose you to yet another world. 

You give him a small smile in return. Hoping your demure expression would hide the fluttering of your heart. 

Pulling the engine lever down, you feel the familiar rumbling of the TARDIS. The two of you grab onto the railing in hopes to not fall over. The Doctor reaches for the edge of the console, bracing himself. 

You, caught up in your fawning, didn’t properly latch onto the railing and nearly toppled over. A hand yanks your arm and you collide with a wall of wool and earl gray. 

“Don’t worry I got you,” the Doctor assured, his mouth nearly kissing against your ear. 

His hand migrates from your arm to your waist, pulling you to his side. Tight and secure. The shaking continues, but you’re much too focused on how warm the Doctor seems to be. His hand firm on your side, as if it was meant to be there. Your cheek against the scratchy wool of his coat just inches away from his hearts. 

Just a friend. Only a friend.

You grasp onto his jacket even though there’s a perfectly stable railing right in front of you. 

— — —

Ordinary didn’t apply to your life, so it would only make sense it didn’t touch your love life either. 

River once again joined you and the Doctor for another adventure. Surprisingly, one that didn’t involve intergalactic battles and executing a poorly planned heist. No, she just so happened to be in New York in 2023 at the exact same pizza parlor the Doctor is dragging you to. 

In the past few months you’ve come to realize that the odd feelings in your stomach and the nervous butterflies wasn’t just spur-of-the-moment anxiety. It only manifests when you are within proximity to either the Doctor or River. Anytime they slipped past your personal bubble, you felt the simmering heat in your stomach and a dizziness whenever they got too close. You didn’t realize how the three of you would be joined at the hip until you realized something. 

You love the Doctor…and River. 

It came crawling into your mind until it was all you could think about. Moments across the years playing over and over. You loved them both for so long but you played it off as platonic. It should’ve been obvious with how you hoard their attention and do everything in your power to be near them. Their laughs, praise, and happy moments shared between you set your heart ablaze.

Only problem is that they’re already married. They weren’t secretive either. Always flirting in the face of danger. Lingering eyes and a heated kiss when things got rough. They never hid their affection towards one another.

You were never jealous of them. The ache in your chest came from the fact that they would never share that with you. You were you and they were the Doctor and River Song. They had a history long before you and they seemed more than content with each other. 

River sat in a booth in the far corner of the restaurant. The afternoon sun highlighted her golden hair like a halo. She was writing in that old diary of hers that resembles your beloved time-machine.

The Doctor walked in fast, measured steps while you tried to keep up. His hand on your back, guiding you through the people crowding around the cashier. The closer you stepped the more anxiety pools. 

River looks up from her diary with a wide grin. The one where it crinkles her eyes and makes you lose breath. 

“Hello sweetie,” she says, her words honeyed with affection. 

“Hello love,” the Doctor returns with a giddy smile. 

River’s gaze met yours. Her expression didn’t change, as if she was just as happy to see you. 

“We meet again, darling.”

Darling became her nickname for you as much as sweetie was for the Doctor. 

She’s just flirting, nothing special.

Your nails dig into your palms, “So it seems, Riv.”

The Doctor ushers you into the booth so you sit shoulder to shoulder. He rubs his hands together as he snatched a menu from the pile in the middle of the table. 

“Alright, what do we have here? Some good ol’ pepperoni, some cheese, and lovely sauce. I’m absolutely famished. Haven’t stopped to think, let alone eat something other than the ramen packets Y/N hoards,” the Doctor says. 

You snatched the menu from the Doctor, “So you were eating them! You said they could clog your arteries.”

The Doctor snatches the menu right back, “I said they could clog your arteries, not mine.”

“You made me believe I was going mad! Why couldn't you get your own?”

“‘Cause your room is closer…and less expensive.”

The two of you continue to bicker whilst the menu keeps being tugged mercilessly. Ramen packets changed to snoring habits (you were horrified that the Doctor snuck into your room when you were still in it) and the argument shifted to accusations. Most of which was you calling the Doctor a robber. The Doctor deflects and somehow blames you for being easy to rob. 

River watched the exchange with a tiniest of smiles. The Doctor with a hint of red at his ears, leaning forward. You with pinched brows and sharp words that you don't actually mean. So close the two of you were that your knees were touching and the air between was your mingled breaths. 

“Ahem,” River coughed rather obnoxiously. 

At the sound of her, the two of you ceased arguing. 

“Any louder and you’ll alert the whole parlor,” she scolds.

Luckily the busy little parlor was already loud with its many customers. Loud enough to drown the squabbling in your booth. Though the realization of how you might've looked made you and the Doctor slouch into your seats. 

River narrows her eyes, “If you're done arguing like petty school girls we could hurry up and order because I’m not sharing my food. Unless you wish to continue spilling each other's secrets for all of New York to hear.”

“Nope, we're done,” you say. You shoot her a grin in hopes to hide the fact that, yes, you will continue later.

River’s eyes shift to her husband, who avoids her stare.

“Yes, done-zo. No more arguing,” the Doctor affirms. He leaves out the “For now” at the end. 

River knows the little omissions. She doesn't voice it, instead rolling her eyes.

— — —

Lunch went by smoothly, all things considered. Food was served, pizza was eaten, and stories passed the time. The Doctor retold your fantastical adventures with some minor exaggeration (leaving out the mishaps as well). River bragged about her many archeological discoveries and Indiana Jones-esque quests to find legendary artifacts. 

As they retold, shared, and laughed at each other's fortune, you sat in your seat with sealed lips. As the time passed, the two of them leaned forward with biting grins. It was as if magnets in their chests pulled them nearer. 

You stayed put because in place of a magnet was a lump of sorrow that was weighing you down. You watched their banter go on and on, leaving you out. Their words turned personal, intimate with inside jokes. It was clear that although River and the Doctor weren't exclusive by any means, their love runs deeper than most. 

Their love for each other ran deeper, felt stronger only for them. 

Not for you. 

It hurts to watch them. It hurts to love them knowing they will never feel the same. You’re just a temporary blip in their long lives. They already have one another. Perfectly content with having you just as a companion. Because that’s all you are to them. In this moment, trapped in your bubble, you can see just how in love they are. In the middle of the table their hands are inches away from each other. The tips of their hands moving at a snail's pace towards the other, until they fold in where they meet. They don’t seem to notice the collision of hands, still conversing with one another nonchalantly. 

It’s an innocent gesture. Sweet and pure with its intentions. Perfectly their hands fit, you don’t think they could form against yours. They were perfect for one another. Witty mouths, playful eyes, and brilliant minds. 

Husband and wife. Vowed for one another. 

Your eyes don’t leave their hands, transfixed by your own spell of deep longing. 

The Doctor laughs at something River says. It’s a soft chuckle that pulls his lips and shakes his head. River stares unabashed with eyes so full of love that it tugs the strings in your chest. 

It makes you sick.

“I need to use the bathroom,” you blurt out. You felt too close, too warm in the booth. You need to get away from them both. 

The Doctor and River glance at one another. A pointed look that could hold entire conversations. Moments ticked by before the Doctor scoots out of his seat to let you pass. You all but sprinted out of the booth and made a bee-line to the bathroom. 

It was a small, dank space with dark brown walls and one lighting fixture in the middle of the ceiling. The harsh lighting and tight space was far from cozy and inviting, but you are glad to have made it out. Your breathing became more shallow, tears started to burn into your eyes. You stare into the warped reflection in the mirror. 

Tiredness smudges around your eyes. Your lower lip is cracked from the constant tugging and swiping of your tongue. Edges of your shirt wrinkled from how tightly you were holding onto it. 

You don’t know how long you stared at yourself. Lines around your face blur as the tears start to flow. Down your face, into the valleys of cheeks, and into the porcelain sink. Another falls, then another, until you can’t help but sob into your hand. 

— — —

Minutes tick by. The pizza being shared was now specks of crumbs. 

Your companions sit idly, waiting for your return. 

“Is it just me, or is (Y/N) a bit quiet today?” the Doctor mused, looking behind him to see the closed door of the bathroom. The red sticker on the lock gnaws at his mind. 

River rubs her thumb over the Doctor’s hand, “Why don’t you ask her? She’s your companion.”

The Doctor turns back to her, “Why don’t you ask her? Everytime I see you two, you can’t keep your hands off one another.”

His words don’t have any malice. If anything, it was more of a jab at how horribly River hides her affinity towards you. Always doting on you with small trinkets and tight hugs. The soft drawl of her “darling” seemed much too intimate, too loving to be platonic. 

River’s smile is sharp, her words quick, “Says the man who whimpers whenever she wears a tight dress.”

As quick as her words came, the image of you a week ago floods his mind. 

Silk gloves, the shine of your skin, the color of your lipstick. It was a gala out in a different galaxy and the Doctor found it hard to resist your puppy eyes. 

You begged him to dress up, to match with your dress. He mutters, whines, and begrudgingly says yes. Not because he didn’t want to go, but because he knew of the outcome of seeing your dress. 

A deep blue, nearly black, with delicate lacing and gemstones. Simple, lavish, and complimented your body beautifully. The neckline perfectly snug against your chest, bodice hugging your waist, and when you turned around—

The whole of the Doctor’s face flushes a bright pink. He sputters, tone harsh, “I do not. It’s called being flustered. I’ll have you know that I—stop laughing.”

The Doctor’s plea falls on deaf ears as River let out a choked giggle. Her hand covers her mouth, but the edges of her smile still peek through. Seeing the Doctor flustered over a girl never fails to make her laugh. 

“I was…only teasing!” she let out between giggles. The expression the Doctor made, all grumpy like a cat, made her sides hurt. 

The laughter dies down. River dabs her eyes and massages her tired cheeks. The Doctor’s hearts swells at her joy, even if it was at his own expense. 

The Doctor looks over his shoulder once more. Your door is still locked with no one in line. An uneasy feeling lodges in his chest. Your usual bright, happy attitude was strangely absent. A few times you chimed in, relaying your own version of a story the Doctor purposefully miscounted. 

You weren’t sad, at least the Doctor didn’t seem to think so. Empty was a more appropriate word. Stuck in your own head thinking God knows what. 

“Did you hold up your end?”

River’s questions shocked the Doctor out of his own thoughts.

The Doctor narrows his eyes, “I don’t recall making a bargain with you. I thought we agreed that if we were drunk that it doesn’t count.”

River rolls her eyes, “I’m talking about (Y/N). I told you to talk to her about…” she gestures to the space between them. 

The Doctor mimics her movements, confusion still present in his face, “What’s this? What did I agree to?”

“Us! You agreed to talk to (Y/N) about us. You told me that you would drop hints about it,” River scans the Doctor’s face for any recognition. She sees the realization dawn on him, and the guilt settling in. River can’t help but curl her lips into a snarl, “You didn’t do it, did you?”

“How am I supposed to?” he threw his hands up in exasperation, “It’s bad enough as it is that I get all light-headed and fuzzy when she’s near me. You hear me? Light-headed and fuzzy. I didn’t think that was possible—no I was certain it wasn’t possible. At least with you, you made all the moves from the get-go. What if she doesn’t like me back?’

River shoved her leg under the table, earning a strained “ow” from the Doctor, “You stupid oaf! Of course she likes you! Smartest man in the universe, yet you couldn’t use your big brain of yours to notice her signals? A cyberman could figure it out for goodness sake.”

The Doctor slumped back into his chair, dumbfounded. He would be lying if he said he didn't notice how close you were with him. But you're close with everyone. Always friendly, open with your emotions. 

River was the one to bring up a potential relationship. Nudging the Doctor towards you, trying to get him to open up. Every time he mentions anything romantic, it never seems to come out right. Words jumble in his head and his tongue knots in his mouth. On the off chance he does something “romantic”, you would always—unwaveringly—call him a friend. He has to pretend that the word doesn’t make his teeth grind against each other. 

The Doctor swirls the colored straw in his glass of soda. The ice clinking against glass and the residual carbonation sizzling out. 

Ice. Cracking. Sizzling out into the inky depths of the cola, almost black in the dim lighting.

Something in his brain clicks.  

— — —

10 minutes passed before someone banged on the bathroom door. 

“Can you hurry up man! You’re holdin’ up the line!” an angry, muffled voice yelled. 

You furiously wiped your face, collecting all the remaining tears with paper towels. A couple splashes of water to soothe your puffy eyes before you unlock the bathroom. You were greeted with a cross, stout man with too much hair on his chest and not enough on his head. He grumbled something before making his way around you. No one else stood behind him. 

The restaurant died down with only a few tables left occupied and the setting sun spilling through the windows. You drag yourself towards the booth the Doctor and River were situated in. Your steps get slower as the distance gets shorter. Dread builds into you; your mind conjures the image of their exclusion towards you. 

Voices, familiar and warm, could be heard. They were more hushed than before, perhaps due to the lack of other customers to drown out their noise. As you round a corner, you see River and the Doctor hunched towards one another. You can only see River’s stern expression before her eyes immediately spot you. Relief sags her shoulders. At her expression, the Doctor whizzed around to greet you. 

You stopped in front of them, seeing their ruffled clothes and fidgeting body language. You were gone for a few minutes, so why did they look…disheveled? River’s usual glossy curls were frizzy around the edges; wild strands sticking to and fro. The Doctor’s shirt looked wrinkled and bowtie skewed at an odd angle. 

Did they…? No, you weren’t gone for that long.

“Sorry I took so long. Long line and no toilet paper,” you lie with a monotone voice. You didn’t put any energy into making it believable, hoping they would get the hint to not question you. 

The Doctor sprang up from his seat with an expression that seemed much too happy to be innocent.  

“Change of plans. River had just informed me that at this very moment, there is a comet passing by in—” he checks his watch, “ —Yosemite, California. Super beautiful, gorgeous color. Isn’t that right Riv?”

River nods, fast and eager, “Sure is, sweetie. I’ve had enough of the city, wouldn’t you say?”

Their odd behavior rang alarm bells in your mind. A prank? You doubt River would be the type to follow along with a malicious prank. The Doctor, however…

You let out an exhausted sigh, “Could this wait later? Tomorrow?”

“Nope! Can’t wait, lots to see!” came the Doctor’s reply. 

The Doctor placed his hands on your shoulders to steer you to the front door. Your feet nearly tangle together, practically stumbling down the empty street with River not too far behind. You find your footing just fast enough so that you can speed walk without the Doctor trying to knock you over. 

“Guys, slow down. Doctor, I can walk just fine y’know,” your shoe gets caught onto a piece of sidewalk, making you jump slightly. It doesn’t deter the Doctor, still hellbent on shoving you down the street. You turn to your side, eyeing River, “Could you please explain to me what’s going on? Why are you guys acting weird?”

River’s cherry red lips stretched to a smile (Did she just apply it?), “Spoilers.”

Your friends’ odd behaviors made you question if you’re being kidnapped by shapeshifters. Not an impossible scenario, but would explain why they’re suddenly so hyper. The Doctor made a sharp turn into an alley. You see the TARDIS with its vibrant blue against the red brick of the buildings beside it. 

Something’s wrong. 

“The TARDIS was parked a few streets down. Why is it here?” you questioned, distrust lacing your voice. 

The Doctor sent a worried look towards River, who looked caught off-guard. 

“We…thought it was best to move it closer so you didn’t have to walk far,” River explains. It comes out quickly. Too rushed and uneasy to make it truthful. 

The Doctor gave a smile, too wide for your liking. 

You cross your arms over your chest, “If you don’t spit it out already I’m not getting into the TARDIS. I’m honestly a bit freaked out right now.”

“We, uh…” the Doctor moves his hand, trying to come up with something, “We can’t tell you.”

You scoff, looking at River to see if she will spill. 

River shrugs, “You’ll have to come inside the TARDIS to see.”

You wrestle with the idea of accusing them of being aliens with perception filters. It could explain their odd appearance and eagerness to get you to the TARDIS. Were the real Doctor and River Song trapped somewhere. Is this a trick of the mind? 

The Doctor hand tugs yours. Secure and warm. His expression calms, “It’s a surprise,” he indulges. 

River unlocks the TARDIS, holding the door open, “A big one.”

The Doctor and River take your hands, interlocking them. The action sends your mind blank. Soft, warm. They hold tightly, flushed against your clammy palms. Your heart stutters, finally registering what’s happening. You’ve held their hands many, many times. It wasn’t unusual to see you link hands with either of them. 

This. It feels different. 

They all but pulled you inside, the destination already on display and the engine ready to go. 

— — —

Cool air kissed your face, greatly contrasting the warm New York temperature. Grass met your feet instead of concrete. Stillness you’d always associate with nature instead of the bustle of busy streets. 

“Is the blindfold really necessary?” 

You fight the instinct to rip the cloth off your face, but your hands are preoccupied with being held by your companions. River to your left, the Doctor on your right. Their other hands find the small of your back, guiding you forward. 

“Almost there, darling,” River assures. 

You bite back a groan. One foot in front of the other as best as you could. Each one was wobbly; unsure of debris blocking your path. The hands along your back tighten, trying to steer your uncoordinated body towards the destination. 

You smell the familiar scent of firewood in the air before you hear the crackling.  

The walking stops and hands leave your body. You hear the rustling of fabric and stray giggles of the Doctor. River hushes him. 

Your fingers twitch at your side. The cotton of the Doctor’s bow tie is soft yet strangely secure on your head. You're trying to piece together what they’re trying to show you. Nothing seems to add up. Is it a holiday? A prank? Was it a birthday?

You hear footsteps and feel two hands on your shoulders. 

“Keep your eyes close, yeah?” the Doctor whispers, tugging his bow tie off your eyes. 

You sigh, “Doctor, what are you trying to do?”

The Doctor doesn’t respond. You don’t know his facial expression or any sort of clue towards his motivations. But you feel the gentle hold of his hand. Warm palms picking up your fingers, thumb tracing the peaks of your knuckles and the valleys of your skin. 

Almost like…

“Ready,” River announced, a bit distant from where you are standing. 

The Doctor leans close, his hair tickling your temple, “Open your eyes.”

It took you a few blinks to adjust your eyes. The inky darkness of night contrasts the warm, inviting fire light. 

River stands next to a picnic blanket with the most lush pillows you’ve ever seen. Movie snacks are piled in the corner and in the middle a neatly wrapped box with an obnoxious bow. In front of the picnic blanket was a small, orange fire surrounded by a ring of rocks. The flames crackle loudly, providing warmth against the lowering temperature. 

“What…How? Why?” Was all you could muster. You take a few steps closer, unsure of how to process this. 

You focus on the box. Dark wrapping paper with shining gold stars to accent. The flickering fire made the glitter on the stars twinkle. The bow nearly swallowed the top of the box with ribbons cascading down. Your eyes flicker to the pile of snacks. Your favorite snacks. Even some ramen packets. 

The Doctor spoke up, “Hope you’re not too full from the pizza. Though, come to think of it, we may have left the drinks back in the TARDIS. River suggested wine but I’m already buzzed from my own endorphins.” His words were a bit fast, almost nervous. 

“But why? Is there something special about today?” you ask. 

River smiled, “November, 1826.”

There’s something familiar about the date. It tickled your memory, but nothing clear. 

“Our first adventure together. The three of us,” The Doctor clarified. 

It felt as though the Doctor’s words swept all air from your lungs. Of course, how could you forget? 

You are certain it was years ago. Keeping track of time on the TARDIS is finicky at best, but you felt the time pass as evident by the scars on your skin and fine lines dotting your face. You were still wide-eyed and naive, not yet comprehending the dangers of the universe. The Doctor was still odd and new to be around; still getting used to your presence at his side. 

There was a galactic cruise ship, nearly swallowing Pluto in size. Parts of the memory are hazy in your mind. You forget if it’s you that urged the Doctor to go or the Doctor dragging you out. Whatever the case was, you found yourself onboard and immediately lost, tipsy from the wine given. 

River found you then. It wasn’t ‘til later that you realized that River was actually seeking you out. In your eyes, it was the first time seeing her. To her, she had already had a tone of familiarity when your name rolled off her tongue. 

Turns out River had organized a heist to return stolen goods that were aboard the cruise ship. Fighting and mishaps ensued until the Doctor managed to hoard the goods aboard the TARDIS and return them to their rightful spots. 

At the end of it all, the three of you had just so happened to be above the Earth at the same time as Biela’s comet. 

You remember your legs dangling off the edge of the TARDIS, dark splotches along your legs where bruises formed. The Doctor and River lean against the doorframe, silent in their awe. The first of many mishaps and adventures the three of you would create. 

They took you to the exact day—the exact time—

“Why?” you whispered. Everything came rushing all at once. Stolen glances, longing stares, the uncomfortable beat of your heart. Memories of the three of you or just intimate moments with either of them. You swallow the lump in your throat, “I just…don’t understand.”

The Doctor took your hands once again. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. 

“We love you (Y/N). For a while now, actually.” 

His delicate words hit you like a gust of wind. Your head snapped up, eyes wide and fearful. The Doctor’s usual happy facade is gone, any humor wiped from the planes of his face entirely. His hands grip onto yours a bit harder, enough to ground you. 

After a few moments, your brain finally stills. Anxiety still grips your muscles and tightens your chest, but you manage to sputter your thoughts out coherently. 

“I love you guys too,” you grin against the onset of tears starting to fall. You didn’t move your hands from the Doctor’s, so you simply let them cascade down your face. You shakily inhaled, continuing, “For so long I thought you guys wouldn’t feel the same. Even now…”

Two hands appear at your cheeks, thumbs swiping away the salty tears. The Doctor smiles and you don’t mistake the glisten in his eyes as well. 

You turn towards River who stands near the blankets with the present pressed tightly against herself. The fire gives her golden hair a bright orange hue, surrounding her with a divine glow. The way she looks at you made your skin flushed; so full of adoration, as if you were the most breath-taking sight. 

Stepping towards the blond with the Doctor, you try to meet her gaze head-on. You stopped once you got close enough to see the dilation of her eyes. For a second a flicker of something else flashed in her green eyes. 

“Breathe, darling,” she teased. At her command, you let out the breath you were holding. She hands you the box, never breaking eye-contact, “Consider it an anniversary gift.” 

The choice of words makes your eyes widen. The box seemed a bit hefty in your hands. You gave it an experimental shake, feeling something large and solid moving. You gripped the end of the ribbon and gave it a tug. Silky ribbon buckled, folding into itself until it completely unraveled and slipped from the box. Pulling open the top you saw a large blue book nestled inside. 

TARDIS blue, you noted. 

River takes the empty box while the Doctor ushered you onto the picnic blanket. There were no words embellished that gave any indication as to what the book was about. Flipping the cover open, you were met with a mostly blank page, save for the text stamped in the middle:

“For the love of our many lives. A companion, friend, and most importantly, the reason the Universe doesn’t seem so cold.” 

Tears nearly blurred your vision, but you managed to wipe them away to flip to the next page. 

A collage of photos filled the pages. Some were candid, others in black in white, most of them had you in them. There were pictures you had captured on an old film camera you snagged when you were stuck in the 70s. You were quite surprised to see snapshots of you doing mundane activities. Your head was turned away from the lens, completely focused on some task in front of you. There were a few pictures with you and River and some with all three of you. 

Years of memories stored in the pages of the book. Some far back to the earliest days of your travels. 

The rest of the night blurred into happy tears and hearty laughs. You snuggled between the two Time Lords flipping through the photo album filled with your fondest memories. 

The insecurities felt in the cramped bathroom in the middle of New York seemed so far away. Years of anxiety curdling in your stomach finally bloomed into something sweet. They loved you. They wanted you. They planned everything out for you. You felt it in their gaze, their warm touches. 

“Tonight,” the Doctor whispered, “It’s all about you.”

As Biela made her visit, shining brightly amongst the twinkling stars, you realized that somewhere out in the sky, your past selves were observing the same scene. 

Staring out into the vast expanse of space, you hoped the love that swelled your heart could be felt millions of miles away. That your shared laughter transcended the atmosphere and carried to the passengers of the TARDIS floating above Earth. 

You hoped that somewhere out there, your future selves are looking over, sharing this experience across time and space. 

#eleventh doctor request #eleventh doctor x y/n #eleventh doctor x you #eleventh doctor x reader #doctor who #bbc doctor who #eleventh doctor x river song #eleventh doctor x reader x river song #eleventh doctor x y/n x river song #eleventh doctor x you x river song #the doctor x you #the doctor x y/n #the doctor x reader #the doctor x river song #the doctor x reader x river song

[leavingsunsets]

"𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝗈 𝖾𝗇𝖽. 𝖮𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖺 𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝖻𝖾𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀."

You and Malleus talk while you go for a evening stroll in the forest.

(You kind of take place of yuu in here.)

"The sky is beautiful today, isn't it?"

A hum, before the soft sound of the breeze fills the silence once more.

It was only the two of you, walking down the cobbled path. A comfortable quiet you've both resigned to.

This was a usual routine. Every time the sunset hour starts, you'll see him waiting for you patiently in the bench, right beside the trees. A sight you're fond of, as he's never looked so peaceful doing so.

Then, you approach, exchange greetings, and start the path together.

There was nothing really wrong with it. Both of you preferred the calm, the untold comfort of company. Maybe with the occasional conversations, and little tidbits of rants you'd express to each other.

However, this time felt more different for some reason.

Call it a feeling, maybe just a gut instinct. Maybe it's the small things he did, like how he glanced at you a little too long, or how his eyes were filled with this unknown gaze directed at you, or the way his walk was a little somber than normal, or—

Before you can let your thoughts continue, Malleus speaks up.

"Is something wrong?"

He pauses in his steps, tilting his head at you curiously. "You've been staring for quite some time, child of man."

You, of course, sputter, not realizing that your eyes haven't been as subtle as you thought. "O-oh, uhm. Sorry about that, I didn't mean to.. you know. Ogle at you weirdly." Rubbing your neck, you gesture with your apology, giving him an awkward grin.

But the fae only dismisses your worry with a hand, reassuring you. "Oh, no need to apologize. I was only wondering why you were staring at me. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with my appearance, is there?" he asks, blinking at you in question.

"What? Oh, no, of course not. Nothing's wrong with your outfit."

The previous embarrassment fades away, leaving only a lighthearted conversation in its place. Now, it's got you thinking, why were you staring at him in the first place?

"It's just that..." you trail off, looking at where both of you stopped. You've both strayed away from the cobblestone, settling into a small grassy opening. From here, the view of the sunset is clear, and the breezy air is all that surrounds you.

"It's just, you seem to have something heavy in mind."

Malleus' eyes widen just a fraction, before relaxing. "Hm. I thought I was hiding it well, but it seems you've still seen through it. As you always do."

That elicits a small smile from you, but it goes back down as you turn to face him fully. "Did something happen?"

He shakes his head. "No, not particularly. Everything's doing fine as usual. In contrary, nothing's been out of the ordinary out of late."

His tone turns quiet, as he faces the sunset, sunlight hues framing his face in an ethereal halo.

"I guess, it's just been a persisting thought in my head. It's silly, really, to worry about such a trivial thing." he mumbles, staring off into the horizon.

Meanwhile, you only look at him, curiosity and confusion evident in your expression. "How so? I'm sure it's not something silly if it's something so somber to you." you reassure, stepping beside him to watch the sunset. "And I'm sure that even if it was, it's still good to get it out."

He huffs at this, giving you a glance, a bit longer than it should, before returning his eyes to the sinking sun.

It's silent. The fae doesn't respond, seemingly deep in thoughts. You let him, deciding that whether or not he chooses to disclose his problems, is up to him.

"... Do you sometimes wish things would stay the same forever?"

His voice is still the same. Noble like, proper, and authoritative.

But for some reason, his voice seemed small, unsure, and uncertain. It felt like a question, but not, at the same time.

"To stay forever, huh?"

Those words mull around your mind, as if trying to understand what he meant.

"Like, to never leave, and to always stay the same?" you ask, looking at him for confirmation.

Malleus nods. "Correct."

You hum, turning back to the horizon. "To stay forever..."

It's a complicated thought, that one. For things to always stay the same, that would be nice, wouldn't it? To never lose what you had, to always keep what you got.

It's common to long for things like these, in the haze of fleeting time, where nothing stops for anything.

You stuff your hands in your pockets, closing your eyes as you bask in the cool breeze of the dusk.

"Not really." you reply, tone light.

Malleus turns his head curiously, eyes set in an expectant gaze that almost felt like weights on your shoulders. "Oh, why not?"

"I mean, what's the point?"

It seems this catches him off guard, as he blinks profusely, staring at you with a confused expression. "Well, I'm sure there are many. To never lose the people you love, for example."

You nod, stance unchanging. "Yes, but, losing a loved one does not mean you will never love again. Change is a part of life, and it helps us realize things we never even knew were there."

"Change..." he mutters, as if pondering the thought. "If I could, I'd make sure nothing would ever change."

A glance, and this time, you don't look away. "Why? Change is good. With change, you meet new people, explore new things."

Huffing, he crosses his arms. "I don't need new people."

It's kind of a unique sight, to see Malleus all grumpy like this, in a light hearted way. It's like an undone knot from his heavy aura a while ago, and to have lessened his burden if even just a little bit, is relieving.

And as you take in Malleus' visage, it seems to have reminded you of a deep seated thought you've always had in the back of your mind.

"You know, if things hadn't changed, I would have never met you."

You say this with a sincere voice, soft, and it makes Malleus pause.

At these words, he is reminded once again of your predicament. Right. From another place entirely, you were a foreigner of this world, yet he somehow can't think of you like that at all.

You fit right in, on days like these where it was just the two of you, under the same sky. He can't possibly imagine you somewhere else, farther than he could reach. He couldn't.

The fae is silent for a moment, stunned by your sudden sentimentality. You, however, continue.

"Sure, I still miss my home. Still waiting for Crowley to figure it out, but... I don't ever regret coming here. If I hadn't, I would have never met you. I wouldn't have met all these new friends, these new people..."

A soft breeze, the shining sun.

"I wouldn't have known what it's like to feel all these beautiful feelings, if I hadn't met you, you know."

At this point, Malleus' world just stops, pausing forever in a time he wish he could keep forever.

The sun's last golden rays dye your visage in an ethereal glow, and the small grin on your face, as curved eyes just gaze at him with such fondness his lips nearly part in wonder.

Yes, Malleus sometimes wishes things could stay the same forever.

To keep you by him like this, to never forget your face. To have a moment like this, and a million more.

Yes, he does wish this could stay forever. To be able to envelope you in his arms like this, to have you close to him.

He's scared. Scared that if he lets you out of his sight, you'll disappear, and it'll be like it's never been, even though he knows it's not.

So, for now, he'll have to cherish this time like it's the last, to take up every little bit of you, as you'll take his.

So that even when the sands of time slip through his fingers once more, you've never really left.

You've taken place in his heart, as he has yours,

and he plans it to be that way, forevermore.

#mmm took a bit longer than I expected #twisted wonderland malleus #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #twst malleus #diasomnia #x reader #sunset prints #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst x you #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twst #twst wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland malleus draconia