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#but i like his quotes
evesmascarade · 2 years
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Suffering sweet like sickness scarred to a laugh, she’s my witness starting to crack. —Oliver Riot
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reineydraws · 2 months
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i dont have a caption for you lol i'll let shanks's heart eyes speak for themselves 🫶
(source)
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apollo’s confidence in court: oh my god i’m the worst lawyer ever my client is going to go to JAIL because i can’t even do my JOB
apollo’s confidence outside of court: i’m the only smart one here, i’m the most normal guy in the world and NO ONE is doing it like i am, investigations are EASY, klavier gavin wants me carnally
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fanaticalthings · 2 days
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While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.
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Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.
the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)
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Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:
Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?
Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:
Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???
Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?
Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!
Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now
Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that
Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?
[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]
Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.
Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)
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And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.
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mikayesha · 5 months
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"surprisingly way stronger than he looks"
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cherries-and-knives · 5 months
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Matthias: *has one Unholy™️ thought about nina*
Matthias to himself: TAKE A WALK YOU ABSOLUTE WHORE. AND WHILE YOUR AT IT YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUMP IN A RIVER YOU SLUT.
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magnusbae · 6 days
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listen now :')
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delzinrowe · 2 months
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incorrect jjk quotes [35/?]
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voltaical-art · 4 months
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im in agony. a little self indulgent but I think wyll deserves to be told he's loved and have a small breakdown about it
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ruporas · 10 months
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the blank ticket in your hand is just waiting to be filled in.
happy birthday vash! (ID in alt text)
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bruciemilf · 10 months
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Damian: Baba, I've brought a new member into the family. His name is Raul The Rat. Would you like to hold him?
Bruce, who's scared out of his skin of rats: yes
Damian: Excellent. Mama?
Talia, who's even MORE scared: yes my precious child of course
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camifandomfan · 4 months
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*The fam is over at Tim’s apartment*
Jason: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Tim: …No…
Tim, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Jason, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Dick: I see a-
Tim, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Jason: Oh, well I-
Tim: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Tim, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Dick: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Steph: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Tim: Now I’ve just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don’t have to roshambo nothin!
Tim: I am a man who owns four ovens…
Tim, louder and way too happy: I am a man who owns FOUR OVENS…
Tim: I didn’t know I was so rich with ovens…
Jason, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Steph: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- five ovens!
Tim:
Tim, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM A MAN WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
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Jason: the Batfam member I see most as my brother is Tim
Dick: What!!! That's no fair, I should be your brotherly-ist brother!
Dick: No offense Timmy.
Dick, turning back to Jason: But I am the one who has been your brother longest, I helped you kill that druglord, I even gave you some of my cookie dough last week!
Bruce: uhhh, back to the druglord thing-
Steph: You shared your cookie dough with him!
Jason: Sorry Dick, but there is one thing that makes you brothers more than anything else, not blood, or time, but...
Jason and Tim at the same time: Contempt
Jason: I have contempt for Tim, like all siblings should. Really the only thing I love more than hating Tim is shit talking other people with Tim. That form of contempt is how siblings bond and I will just say, surprisingly I love bonding with Tim even more than I love terrorizing Tim
Tim: aww, I didn't know we were that close
Jason, panicking cause he doesn't wanna ruin their dynamic: *punches Tim in the gut and runs out*
Tim, shouting after him: You can't take it back now, you ass
Jason: *turns around while running to give Tim the middle finger*
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fanaticalthings · 6 days
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Bruce coming home one day to find Robin Jason clinging onto a chandelier with Dick below him cheering him on.
Bruce: Jason what are you doing?
Jason: Dick said that you missed his antics after he moved out and so he’s teaching me how to be a better son
Dick: After this we’re going to drive the Batmobile into the bay :D
Jason: We’re going to what? I mean yeah! Right into the water.
Jason trying to whisper to Dick: Dick I can’t swim though
This just further fuels the chaotic dynamic of Dick and Jason during a time where Dick was still going through his teenage angst and was absolutely not a benevolent role model LMAO
I mentioned it in this post, but it's just so funny to me to imagine a Jason who grew up with an absolutely WILD Dick Grayson as an older brother, while the younger batkids grew up with a more mellowed out and mature (arguable but when measured against the other kids, he wins by a landslide) Dick Grayson.
Robin!Jason era:
Dick: You wanna go out and get high?
Jason: I can't, I have homework.
Dick, sputtering: HOMEWORK?
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Dick, about to do an elaborate (and totally not dangerous) acrobatic move in the manor: Watch this, littlewing
Jason: You shouldn't do that, it'll make Bruce upset.
Dick, on the brink of angry tears: Why are you like this.
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Jason, dejected: Listen, I know you don't approve of me because you think I'm not good enough as Robin, but-
Dick: Not good enough as Robin? I don't care about that, I just think you're a little bitch
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Dick taking Jason out on a hangout for the first time: OK, looks like I got my work cut out for me. Take out a notepad and write everything down. I will NOT have my successor embarrass me like this. So what you wanna do to piss of Bruce-
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[Years later, Jason returning to Gotham with the fury of a thousand suns and the chaos to match it]: I'm gonna make your life a living HELL, Bruce
Dick, older and relatively more chilled out: Okayyyyy, maybe let's just– calm down a lil, haha, no need for the theatrics
Jason, betrayed, observing a Dick Grayson who is teaching his new younger siblings to behave and be mature: Dick, what the FUCK
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Present!Dick, mentoring Tim: Make sure not to be too impulsive, don't wanna raise Bruce's blood pressure
Red Hood!Jason spying on them from afar: Who even ARE you??
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Jason: So you teach me ALL of that, only to turn into the ONE thing you despised so greatly all those years ago
Dick, sweating: Well-
Jason: I'm ASHAMED. How can you be worthy of being called my PREDECESSOR?
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daily-crowley · 9 months
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Crowley Of The Day: “here comes the smolder.”
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apoetsworld · 1 year
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Sorry to all those "sirius can sing" stans...but headcannon sirius black sounds like a dying cat singing in the shower and he thinks he sounds angelic...and james changes the subject when he brings it up, peter runs out of the room and remus never shuts up ab how he actually sounds like he's being murdered when he sings "Is there Life On Mars?" by David Bowie
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