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ragingbookdragon · 3 years

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I’m Only A Crack In This Castle Of Glass (Hardly Anything Else I Need To Be) PT. 7

Batfamily x Batsis Story

Word Count: 2.1K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst

Author’s Note: Anyone order a part seven? Cause I got a part seven for y'all. Enjoy! -Thorne

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Ever since the meeting that night, she’d gotten more letters from her family than she’d ever received in twenty-one years. Not that she decided to read them. The first line from Dick’s letter was, ”I never wanted you to leave because of me. If only I’d known…”. She couldn’t keep reading, and she wasn’t sure if it were from guilt, sadness, or anger, but there was something there that she didn’t want to face.

It didn’t stop there though. They kept coming even if she tacked a return to sender on it and sent it back. She’d even labeled one and written, ”Stop writing me.” but that didn’t stop them. Wally texted her every other night on top of the letters and she wanted to strangle him through the phone.

She knew though, that if she could keep holding out for three more months, she’d be home free. Wherever home was at this point. Every city she kept thinking about had some type of vigilante and there was nothing that didn’t; eventually she decided on Coast City. Somewhere warm and sunny, and as far from Gotham and Central as possible.

Of course that little voice in the back of her head just kept telling her to talk to them, but she was going to be as stubborn against it as possible—but time was dwindling, and so was her resolve.

***

“Ophelia, have you seen the extra bag of espresso beans? I can’t remember where you put them the other week.” She waited for a response. “Ophelia?” she turned and frowned. “Why did I accept the manager’s position when I can’t even round up my workers?”

She walked out of the storage and wiped her hands on the rag at her waist. “Ophelia?” A giggle sounded at the counter and when she walked out, her eyes went wide at the sight.

Jason was leaning against the counter with that smile he used to use on the models at the galas. He smiled at Ophelia. “Tell me, what do you make better, the cappuccinos or lattes?”

“Well, I make a —”

“She makes a mean ‘get in the back and find my espresso beans’,” she grunted and both of them jumped.

“Melisandre!” Ophelia stuttered, pale cheeks flushing pink. “I thought you were in the back.”

“I was. Think you can go find the coffee beans you put away?” She shot Ophelia a stare that screamed ‘scram’ and the girl nodded, hurrying to the storage room.

“Aww, why’d you run the cutie off, Melisandre?” Jason queried. “I was going to ask her out on—”

“Can I talk to you?” she interrupted, voice barely containing her seething rage. “Outside.”

Jason shrugged and shoved his hands in his jean pockets. “Sure, but be careful, people might get suspicious.”

She grunted and walked outside, listening to him follow and when the door shut, she turned around and hissed, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just getting coffee.”

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me, Jason. We both know that’s a load of bullshit.”

His eyes narrowed and he noted, “You’ve really gotten comfortable using foul language. You know that, (Y/N)?”

She glared at him. “What. Do. You. Want.”

“You won’t answer our letters,” he shrugged. “Didn’t have a lot of options to talk.”

“And showing up at my job is the better option?” she griped.

“It was that or your house, (Y/N). Take your pick but you can’t have both.”

“Well, maybe my silence is supposed to be the answer to those letters. Did you think about that?”

“I did,” he nodded. “But after the third letter being rejected, I decided to go big or go home.”

(Y/N) growled. “Go home.”

Jason smirked. “No.”

“I’m not fucking joking here, Jason. I don’t want you coming here. Ever.”

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn,” he retorted then stepped forward and grabbed her wrist. “You don’t wanna talk willingly, fine. I’ll make you talk to me. And if I have to show up here every day, I will.”

“No, you won’t.”

Jason cocked a brow and tightened his grip. “You wanna bet? Because I’m not Dick and I’m sure as hell not Bruce. I don’t have a day job to get to.” He smirked. “I can do this all day.”

(Y/N) bit the inside of her cheek and thought for a moment then sighed and yanked her arm away. “Fine. Come to my apartment after five. We’ll talk there.”

“Thank—”

“Don’t thank me yet,” she interrupted coldly. “I’m agreeing for one meeting and then you fuck off back to Gotham City and leave me the hell alone for good.” She spun on her heel and started back for the door when his voice reached her, tired and pained.

“Do you really hate all of us? Do you really hate us like you make yourself think you do?”

(Y/N)’s feet felt like lead and she stopped, gazing at the glass door. “I don’t know, Jason.”

“Then let me help.”

“You can find the apartment on your own. I know you’re good at looking for homes.” She slipped in the café door, leaving him standing there shocked and hurt.

***

Sure enough, a minute after five o’clock, her doorbell rang and she called, “It’s open.” The door opened and shut, and she looked up from the little kitchenette, watching the way Jason walked into her apartment, gazing around the empty living room.

“Shit, do you live in a home or a prison cell?”

(Y/N) grunted. “Nice quip. Come up with that by yourself?”

He wandered into the kitchen, leaning back against the counter as she prepared dinner. “What’re you making?”

“Chicken marsala,” she replied. “You’re here to talk. Start talking.”

“Are you going to be a bitch like you were the other night or can I ask about life in Central the last three years?” she shot him a glare, warning him, but he paid it no mind. “You going to school?”

(Y/N) nodded. “I go to Central City Community College. Take classes all week at different times.”

“What are you studying?” he asked.

“For now, general studies, but I’m minoring in political science.”

“Planning on a four year after you graduate?”

She shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not.” Her hands stalled for a moment. “I don’t have the money for a big school to get a bachelors.” Shaking her head, she chopped up the vegetables. “Figure if I can get a job in the area, I can scrounge up enough to start the process though.”

“Might take years,” Jason noted, and she nodded.

“Yeah, hard work usually does.” (Y/N) glanced at him. “What’s Cassandra like?”

He blinked, evidently not expecting that, though he recovered and smiled. “She’s great honestly. Kicks ass better than anyone I know.”

“Even Batman?”

Jason huffed a laugh. “I’m sure she could wipe the floor with each of us if she decided to not hold back. Her mom’s Lady Shiva and her dad’s David Cain.”

“I don’t know who they are but I’m assuming from the tone that they’re not exactly the best parents in the world.”

“No…they’re not.” He agreed. “David didn’t teach Cass how to speak so she’s been mute all her life.”

“I’ve heard the few interviews she’s given,” (Y/N) replied. “She’s very eloquent when she does.”

“Shakespeare’s influence. And probably Emily Dickinson.” He smiled. “I leave her a lot of books to read so I can be her favorite.”

She snorted. “Yeah, that sounds like you.” Sliding the cast iron skillet into the oven, she sat at the crappy metal dining table, Jason taking the seat on the other side. (Y/N) scratched at the table. “Does Bruce like her?” she questioned lowly, and he nodded.

“Loves her like she’s his own.” He her with cautious eyes. “Just like he loves you.” Jason watched the emotion flash across her face, quick as lighting, a deep sorrow, then she was humming.

“Well, that’s good then.” She cleared her throat and looked at the clock. “How’ve you been? I hear a lot about Outlaws.”

Jason chuckled. “Yeah, that’s my band of renegades. Me, Roy Harper, and Koriand’r.”

“Remind me, those were Speedy and Starfire, right?”

He snorted. “Arsenal and Starfire. But yeah, close enough.”

(Y/N) got up and pulled two glasses from the cabinet before going to the refrigerator and getting the lemonade. She poured them both glasses and sat back down. “How’d you manage to wrangle two of the Titans into your posse?”

“Kori willingly tagged along, and Roy won’t leave me alone,” he griped, sipping his lemonade.

“Mmm…and how does Dick feel about you stealing two of his exes?”

Jason choked on his drink, spilling it on the table and down his chin. “That’s not—” he coughed. “That’s not what that is.”

“Uh huh, sure it’s not.”

“It isn’t,” he glowered.

“Riiiiiiight,” she drawled out with a grin, then took a sip and set her glass back down. “Figured you’d get Cass along with you. she seems like she’d be fit for Outlaws.”

He shook his head. “Nah, she’d be better off with Tim and his Young Justice weirdos.”

“She non-lethal?”

“Mhm.”

They dwindled into silence until the timer went off on the oven and she pulled the skillet out and set two plates on the table. “You’re gonna feed me?” he asked as she handed him a fork.

(Y/N) scoffed. “Duh. I’m a bitch, but I’m a bitch with manners.” She smiled sweetly. “But you have to leave afterwards.”

“Mmm…can I crash on your couch?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

He shrugged. “Figured I’d try anyways.”

They ate in silence, occasionally speaking about their lives the last three years, and when the food was all gone and the lemonade drunk, he sighed and reclined in the chair.

“What?” (Y/N) questioned and he shrugged.

“Dunno…I’d like to do this again soon.” His teal eyes found hers. “It’s been too long since we were together.”

“Tread carefully,” she murmured, looking at the wall and he sighed.

“Sis, talk to me,” he begged. “Even if it’s just to tell me how much you hate me, just talk to me.” She didn’t respond and he sighed again, standing from the table. “Thanks for dinner.”

“…I hate that you all put Gotham and every civilian before our family.” Jason stopped dead in his tracks and turned, gazing at her, though she didn’t tear her eyes from the wall. “I hate that the only time I felt like anyone paid any attention to me was when we were at galas and even then, the attention was just for show. It didn’t matter because all anyone wanted to do was get the hell out of the manor and go on patrol. It didn’t matter because I wasn’t like any of you. I wasn’t a part of the real family.”

Tears gathered in her eyes. “I hate that I spent more nights sitting in a dark and silent manor than spending them with my family. I hate that I never had a normal family growing up where we’d go for ice-cream after school and attend school performances. I hate that I got stuck with a bunch of siblings hellbent on giving every piece of themselves to the world and they couldn’t take one night off to have a family night to save their lives. To at least pretend to be normal.”

(Y/N) finally took her eyes from the wall and he felt his heart tighten as the tears slipped down her cheeks and she breathed, “I hate that I was born Bruce Wayne’s biological daughter and I’d give anything and everything I have to be someone else’s daughter and sister.”

Jason’s mouth felt dry, and he didn’t have single thing to say to her and she whispered, “Is that what you wanted to hear, Jason?” she blinked. “Because that’s what I feel every morning I wake up.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, and she cleared her throat, wiping her cheeks.

“Yeah well, I’m three years passed sorry.” (Y/N) nodded to the front door. “You should leave now.”

Jason nodded but his feet didn’t move. For a moment, he couldn’t move them, then he sucked in a breath and started edging back to the door. When he neared the door, he pulled it open and paused, looking back at her. “(Y/N)?” she didn’t answer but he said it anyway. “I love you. More than you’ve ever known.” He sighed and stepped out, closing it behind him.

(Y/N) buried her face in her hands and sobbed alone at the dinner table.

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anothertimdrakestan · 4 years

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How DARE You Go And Die On Me??? - Jason Todd x Reader Soulmate AU -

Words: 2.1k

Requested? Yes! From a lovely anon!

“Jason Todd x reader soulmate AU pleasssse where when you touch them with skin for the first time there’s sparkly lights that only you and your soulmate see or something and you feel really warm and your soulmate glows or something? Thank you ❤️”

LINK TO PROMPTS -> REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!

I love this request. So much. I hope y’all enjoy this one because I really got to live out my famous science nerd dream. Thank you for the amazing request! I secretly love soulmate AU’s hehehe so please send more! Y’all are so creative with them too :)))

Soulmates were a sore subject for you. At a young age you glowed bright red, and it was the most crushing moment of your life. Soulmate glows only occurred when you touched your soulmate for the first time or when they died. Knowing this meant you would never meet your person was hard, but you hoped maybe you’d be one of the lucky ones who got a new soulmate, seeing as you were so young. But years later nothing had happened even though you stayed hopeful. Unlike so many who go off the rails once they realize there’s no one for them, you dedicated your life to researching soulmates, and it was incredibly fulfilling. As a high school intern working under a group of molecular biochemists, world renowned computer scientists, and psychiatrists you were worked towards creating a drug that made you glow in your soulmate color, it would make finding soulmates much easier and from there you could maybe make a sensor and go international with your research. Who wouldn’t want a drug that finds the person you’re meant to be with?

You’d been tracking soulmates to see if there’s any tell before they find out they are soulmates besides the glowing. It was painful to watch thousands find their life long partner but part of you hoped that by finishing this research you would be able to figure out if your soulmate was really gone, or get filthy rich trying. As just a teenager you planned on working for the company for the rest of your life, staying involved as you pursue your degree then returning, this project was growing up with you.

As far as you knew, soulmates were drawn together. That was the only explanation as to why so many people in your tests were soulmates. There was something almost magnetic about finding your other half, and you were convinced it was chartable. There was a scientific explanation for everything.

Finally the drug was ready, after months of blind trials and high highs and low lows it was time for the first wave of real life test runs. Grouping a couple thousand eager participants together, your team split into groups. Taking each participant into a room you gave them the drug and filled the color they glowed, and if anyone matched you’d bring them together. Of course all the interns on your team wanted to try too.

Stepping up you couldn’t hold in excitement. Since you were only newly a teenager you hoped your soulmate color would be cool. You’d seen some amazing colors and meetings all throughout the day. It couldn’t get more exciting.

Stepping up, you took the drug and waited.

And waited.

But you didn’t glow. “Hey uh Y/N you did say you glowed when you were little right? Sorry to break it to yah kid but yours is gone, we’ve got a couple hundred more tests why don’t yah go home?” a voice came over the intercom, and your heart sunk. Sure some people didn’t glow either, and they all had flashed at some point. Your hope was clearly misplaced. And with a broken soul, quite literally, you went home.

Years later you’d kept with the team. The drug was almost ready to be released officially, and the public was beyond excited. You were 25 now, a huge public face for the soulmate finder, you’d stuck with the program and it had made you practically famous. Doing PR you’d brought the drug on talk shows, finding strangers their soulmate on live TV, you made special appearances to celebrities to find and log their soulmate color. Everyone that took your test had their specific color logged in a huge database, so when you tested if your perfect color matched somewhere your soulmate would get alerted. It was perfection.

Tonight you were going on television to do another round of soulmate finding with a late night host. Nothing new.

“And please welcome, Cupid Herself, Y/N!” The crowd was always full wherever you went, everyone wanted a chance at love as soon as possible. “Now I’m very sorry to disappoint the crowd but we’re bringing out some celebrities who’ve requested a chance at love... I bring you THE WAYNES!” You were a little shocked, you probably should’ve read the brief but no difference, you had enough for about ten people. Standing up you shook Bruce Wayne’s hand, moving onto the chair at the side while Bruce and three of his children walked in. “Hello! Mr. Grayson, Todd, and Ms. Brown right?” the host greeted the three and shook Bruce’s hand, no need for his introduction.

“These three couldn’t pass up on the opportunity. As you know Mr. Drake-Wayne has found his soulmate and now husband so we couldn’t bring him! And my son Damian was erm- busy.” You saw Jason Todd snort, slightly taken aback by his actions on live television. “Can I just say, I am super excited to be here! It’s a huge honor Ms. Y/L/N this is too cool!” Stephanie got up, giving you a quick hug, you smiled, happy that she was so kind.

“Well lets get this show on the road! I’m sure millions want to know if any of the Wayne’s are their soulmate!” the host waggled an eyebrow as the crowd cooed. This was basically a chance at the lottery, a Wayne was a ticket to riches for life. Taking the lead you gave your pitch about the drug, taking consent before grabbing a serving for four. Walking up you handed a glass to each boy, finishing with Bruce, but he refused. “Oh no, I don’t want to know” he said softly. The crowd booed, and in a bit of a panic the host said “well then how about the lovely Y/N takes a drink? We all want to know if the creator has a soulmate!” you politely told him and the crowd you’d tried before, but there was no light, explaining how you lost is when you were younger. As you saw the crowd looking upset you decided it was better than nothing.

“How about I try it guys! Maybe something’s changed - find out live here on Late Night!” you pitched into the camera and the host nodded, cutting to an ad-break.

“Does this shit actually work?” Jason turned to you, swirling the liquid around cautiously. “Yes! We’ve been error free for five years!” you said proudly, this was your life's work after all. “And we’re back! How ‘bout we get this show on the road! Grayson you first?”

With a shrug Dick threw the little up back, and in a few seconds a cerulean blue glowed around him. The crowd oohed and ahhed as Dick smiled. “Any matches?” He looked to you. Glancing over at your guy who had snapped the exact color he shook his head. “Not yet! Dick Grayson-Wayne’s soulmate is still out there!” the crowd rumbled in excitement, everyone wanted a test now.

“Ms. Brown! Care to drink?” Stephanie drank eagerly, and quickly shone a deep royal purple and the crowd cheered. “No match!” you let everyone know and there was another cheer.

“Mr. Todd, you next?” Jason didn’t waste a moment, drinking the liquid he shone the brightest red you’d seen in a while. For a moment it reminded you of your red all those years ago. Looking over it was another no, and the crowd was almost losing it, many girls in the audience begged for a drink to see if they were his lover.

“And lastly Ms. Y/N! Ready to see the creator try her own drug?!” You corrected him, taking a moment to shout out all the amazing scientists, interns, and volunteers you’d worked with over the years. The crowd cut you off, chanting “DRINK DRINK DRINK” urging you to throw the cup back, the liquid tasted way better than the last time you’d tried it in the trial run. You help out your hand to show the lack of coloration and the audience sighed. Smiling sweetly you began to talk about the drop date.

“Thank you all so much! I’m so excited to release this with my team in just a month. I’d like to once again thank my tea-” you heard a shriek “OH MY GOD THAT’S JASON’S COLOR!!!” and the audience lost it. Confused you saw Jason’s jaw drop, and you looked at your hands that now radiated the same deep red from all those years ago.

“UM WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK!” the host shouted over the chaos. You immediately got up, rushing to the color scanner. “Holy shit Y/N it’s really Jason’s color.” he confirmed your suspicions and without thinking you sprinted back up to the sofa. Connecting your hand to Jason’s cheek the two of you began glowing the same color. Locking eyes with Jason, you couldn’t help but start crying. The aura radiated between the two of you and Jason pulled you into his chest.

The camera came on after the 20 second impromptu break. And what they saw made the news that night. “JASON TODD FOUND SOULMATE LIVE ON LATE NIGHT” “CAMERAS TURN ON AND JASON IS HOLDING HIS GIRL - TOO CUTE! CLICK FOR PICS” “JASON TODD CUFFED! SEE THE PICS HERE!” In just the few seconds before they could cut the cameras, millions of viewers saw Jason holding you, the bright red shining around the two of you while you clung to him. And the pictures were everywhere. Pulling you off stage you couldn’t wrap your mind around what had just happened.

“My- my soulmate died years ago. When I was a kid I took the drug and didn’t shine! This doesn’t make any sense!” you looked up a Jason and practically saw a lightbulb go off. “Well um, were you around 13 when your soulmate died? [ you nodded ] And you were about 14-15 when you tried the drug? [ again he was right ] Okay well long story I died and came back to life. And you must’ve tested when I was still gone” he finished and you almost passed out. “YOU DIED?” you screeched. And he clamped a hand over your mouth.

“Shh princess that’s valuable knowledge for family and soulmates only” it was slowly starting to register that you were in fact his soulmate. “Soulmates” you whispered, leaning in to hug him again. “Soulmates.” he confirmed.

“God I have never seen Jaybird this sappy in my life, you might be magical” Dick came up to you, shaking your hand and pulling you in for a hug. “You got a good soulmate Jay. By the way, can I have a couple servings early I’ve got a bet with Timbers that Damian’s soulmate is Jon and I need some soulmate help for myself?” you rolled your eyes and Jason tugged you back to his side. “Back off Grayson she doesn’t even know you!”

“A little protective already Jay? Poor Y/N get used to this sweetheart” Dick winked at you and you felt Jason tighten his grip around your waist. Dick backed off and Stephanie bounded up to you. “Oh my god Tim’s gonna die he’d totally wanna be here! Plus I bet Bruce is gonna have to do all sorts of interviews now hahaha. How are you doing girl? This is a lot! Welcome to the Waynes!” she said, pulling you in for another tight hug, and the seriousness of finding your soulmate hit you. “Oh my god I’m gonna have to do so much press. How did I not think of this. What are the odds oh no this is gonna be a shitstorm fuck fuck fuck” Jason interrupted you by squeezing your hand. “Uh I really hate press too, I mean Bruce owes me patrol for like a week for just tonight but, if you like, need me for something I can go... does that help?” he looked lost, but it was clear that he wanted to help, and it was adorable.

“I would like that. And it’s late. I’m exhausted. Maybe we can meet up tomorrow somewhere private? We’re gonna get stalked so maybe you can come over to my place?” you realized you just had to take it step by step, and finding a soulmate was the best first step ever. “Yeah, that seems easier.” Jason sighed, and the two of you exchanged numbers.

“By the way, what does patrol mean? And does the color red mean anything to you cuz it doesn’t to me and usually the color means something but it could not?” You saw Jason’s eyes widen.

“Erm, I’ll tell you tomorrow. It’s another one of those ‘family and soulmates only’ facts. If that’s okay?” you nodded, just happy to have a soulmate.

“Of course Jason, but just know I’m gonna give you a hard time for going and dying on me. Idiot” you stuck your tongue out as he winked.

“Only to make a perfect love story for you princess” and you groaned, but he wasn’t wrong. This one truly one for the books.

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sohotthateveryonedied · 4 years

Text

Feels More Like a Memory

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Ric gulps down the rest of the beer and gestures to the bartender for another. Then he holds out his hand. “I’m Ric, by the way. With a C.”

“Wally. With a W.”

“That’s a tragedy.”

“And Ric isn’t?”

It’s not easy being a ghost. Ric isn’t dead. He has flesh, breath, motion, all signs of life. But Him? The person he apparently used to be but who might as well be a stranger told in someone else’s story? That person is dead, and Ric can’t help but feel like a murderer for pushing him out. He isn’t Dick Grayson. Not anymore. Ric slides into a bar stool, flagging down the bartender. “I’ll have a beer.” This place isn’t his favorite haunt in Blüdhaven, but they do serve good brews despite the lack of customers and general grossness. And, frankly, he’s not in the mood for company tonight. He’s been fielding calls all day from those people, the ones who knew him Before. The ones who foolishly call every few days as if expecting the ghost to answer in Ric’s place. Bruce. Barbara. Damian. Even some names that Ric doesn’t recognize but couldn’t care less about if he did. A Donna Troy. Jason Todd, even though Dick saw in some old files that he’s supposed to be long dead. Some kid named Tim. Ric doesn’t even pick up anymore when the calls come. It’s too exhausting playing defense, trying to remind these poor idiots that the Dick they knew is dead. Ric can’t keep pretending to have any part of himself that cares about these strangers, that keeps him straddling the line between past and future, or it will tear him in half. He’s had enough of the visits from “old friends” and family members he wouldn’t recognize from a Christmas card.

It’s a weeknight, so the bar is empty but for a few alcoholics and some guys playing pool in the back. Ric might even join them later, hustle a few rounds. The door to the bar opens, a dulled bell sounding to announce the newcomer. Ric doesn’t bother looking up. It’s not like he’ll recognize the new face—or any face, for that matter. The bartender brings over his beer. Ric thanks her and takes a sip. The stool next to him creaks. “I’ll have a Coke with three maraschino cherries, please. Thanks.” It’s a deep voice with a bit of a midwestern twang. From Missouri, maybe? The “please” is a clear indicator that he’s not from around here, nor does he go to bars a lot. Not this kind, anyway. Ric has tried and failed to turn that part off, the part that picks apart every detail in the world into quantifiable data. His memories may be gone, but whatever that crazy bat guy trained into him has stayed in his head as muscle memory. Ric couldn’t escape it if he tried. He drinks his beer, side-eyeing the guy. “Never met anyone who goes to a bar for a soda.” The guy doesn’t...he doesn’t flinch, exactly. But there’s the slightest of shivers that runs through his frame as if hearing Ric’s voice does something to him, even though he’s the one who sat next to Ric in the first place despite the plenty of empty stools around them. Maybe he’s lonely. Maybe he’s just a weirdo. Whatever this guy is, he recovers quickly. “You can’t exactly get a Coke with three cherries from your neighborhood grocer.” “You can if you make it at home.” The guy’s mouth quirks. “Then I’m here for the wonderful atmosphere.” Now that Dick is facing him, he can see that the guy has bright red hair that curls in front of his forehead, wind-blown like he spends his life riding on top of a bullet train. His eyes are green and practically every inch of visible skin is sprinkled with freckles. “If you’re looking for atmosphere, you’re sure as hell not going to find it here,” Ric says. “This place is the pits.” “Then how come you’re here?” Ric shrugs. “For the moldy buffalo wings and terrible service, of course.” The guy laughs and, for whatever reason, Ric gets the impression that it’s the first real laugh he’s had in a long time. The bartender serves up his soda, cherries and all. “I’ve got to be honest, Blüdhaven is even worse than I remember it. Ever since that bat guy disappeared, it’s like all I hear about Blüd now is how much the crime has escalated.” “Nightwing,” Ric corrects before he can stop himself. “His name was Nightwing.” “Right, Nightwing. What do you think happened to him?” He got shot in the head. Not that Ric can tell that to a complete stranger. Then again, he’s been meeting far too many “complete strangers” lately who turn out to be anything but. They try to worm their way into Ric’s life as if they know him, as if they have some kind of a claim on him. “Have we met before?” he asks. He tries to do it casually to cushion the blow of completely changing the subject, but it’s hard to remember what casual even is anymore. “You seem...familiar.” The guy plasters on a smile. “Just have one of those faces, I guess.” “Says every person who’s ever pretended not to know someone.” That gets another laugh. Maybe he’s just a happy guy? Definitely not from around here, then. “I’m from Central City, actually. Just here for the weekend. I was trying to track down an old friend.” “And did you find him?” The guy’s eyes dim, but he keeps up some of the smile, like he’s mourning a memory. “Nope. He skipped town pretty recently and has been missing since.” “Sorry to hear that.” The guy drinks his soda. “How about you? What keeps you in a place like Blüdhaven?” “Believe it or not, this is the only place I’ve been in so far that’s felt like home.” He’s already buzzing from the beer combined with the whiskey this morning and the vape he bummed off a couple guys earlier. Might as well go all in. “I got shot in the head a while ago and since then, I’ve been a clean slate.” He points to the scar on his scalp, but he doesn’t have to. A goddamn aircraft could see that thing from orbit. “It’s hard to figure out ‘home’ again when every place you go is filled with too many people who know and care about you, you know?” “You and I have very different definitions of ‘home’ then. The way I see it, home is wherever the people who love you are.” “You’d be surprised. It’s more like leeches, really. Or a landlord begging for rent even after you’ve moved out. It’s fucking exhausting.” He gulps down the rest of the beer and gestures to the bartender for another. Then he holds out his hand. “I’m Ric, by the way. With a C.” “Wally. With a W.” “That’s a tragedy.” “And Ric isn’t?” That makes Ric laugh. The weird part is that, at the heart of whatever this is, there’s something natural about laughing with this random person. Wally. It feels familiar, like this is someone important, as insane as that sounds. He blames it on the alcohol, but he could almost convince himself that this Wally guy is something vital he’s been missing. But Ric has seen the files Batman showed him while he was futilely trying to jog Ric’s memory. There was nothing about anyone named Wally in there, so he’s in the clear. “So,” Wally says, “amnesia, huh? And I thought I had problems.” “You have no idea. Weirdly enough, the amnesia part isn’t even the worst of it. I can deal with having no memories. The real problem is everyone else’s memories trying to force their way into mine. Everybody remembers me as somebody else, but they can’t understand that the man they knew is long gone. It’s pathetic.” “Can you blame them? If someone I loved forgot who he was, I’d want to bring him back too.” “Then you’ve never had to deal with lost memories before. Everyone talks about how amnesia can be a blessing in disguise, giving you a reset on life. But it’s more like being dropped in the middle of a sports game where you don’t know the rules or who your teammates are, and everyone’s waiting for you to just get with the program and kick the ball somewhere.” Wally bites a cherry off its stem. “What I wouldn’t give for that.” At Ric’s questioning look, he says, “I have two kids. Twins, Jai and Irey. They’re...they were incredible. They were the lights of my life. Then there was...something happened. I lost them both, and now all I have left of them are memories. But I swear to god, sometimes it feels like having the memories hurts a million times worse than losing them in the first place.” Well, shit. By the looks of him, Wally can’t be more than twenty-four, twenty-six years old. Losing two kids so young must be hell on earth. That Damian kid said stuff about how Dick was like a second father figure to him and how when Damian was dead, the greatest relief after coming back was that Dick wouldn’t have to mourn him anymore. But Ric doesn’t remember any of that. If he ever did lose Damian like he said, it means nothing to Ric now. Dick may have lost a child, but Ric didn’t. Wally swallows thickly, drinks his soda until his throat clears. “So trust me, I get wanting to forget. But if you want my advice, I say hold on to your family for as long as you can, even if you don’t want to. You never know how much time you’ll have with them.” Ric honestly doesn’t know what to say to that. “I’m...I’m sorry, man.” Wally clears his throat, forces a smile, but each one is dimmer than the last. “It’s fine. But you see why I don’t drink.” He doesn’t elaborate, but Ric gets the message: Because if I did start drinking, I would never stop. “I can’t even imagine losing someone like that,” Ric says, sipping his fresh glass of beer. “I know my parents are dead, but my memories are so messed up that I don’t remember much of it. And even though I can’t remember anything after that day, it still feels like it happened twenty years ago. I’ve never had to grieve anyone but myself.” “It helps to have people around you, for one thing. That friend I mentioned, the one who skipped town? We used to have a system that whenever one of us was having a bad day, we’d go down to that gay bar a few blocks from here and stay there until we forgot what we were upset about.” After a second, he asks, “You ever been there?” Ric resists the urge to grimace. “I’m straight, actually. That kind of stuff...it’s not really my thing.” Wally blinks at him. “You’re kidding.” “Excuse me?” “Nothing. That’s just...surprising.” “Okay?” This wouldn’t be the first time someone’s accused Ric of being queer. Just because he likes mesh shirts and the occasional crop top doesn’t mean he’s gay, okay? He’s as straight as an arrow. “No, that’s not—I mean...I don’t know what I mean.” Wally shakes his head. “It’s easy to forget that not everyone lives the same life you do, I guess.” Ric clinks his glass with Wally’s. “Cheers to that.” Ric can’t explain what about this conversation makes him feel more comfortable than he has in weeks. Maybe it’s the beer. Maybe it’s the human interaction with someone who isn’t another bar-hopping asshole or part of his old “family” trying to bring him back to a home that isn’t his. Ric has spent so long driving strangers to their destinations in his taxi, sleeping under a new roof every night, gambling his money away and drinking himself into oblivion as long as he can afford it. But here, with Wally, he feels settled. His head clears, and it’s such a foreign sensation that he stops for a moment just to let himself soak in it. “How long are you staying in Blüd, Walls?” He doesn’t mean to say the nickname, it just slips out of him like a bar of soap between slick hands. Wally doesn’t seem to mind. He even smiles, and Ric can’t help but wonder if the friend he was talking about used to call him that. “This is my last night, actually. I’m going to this mental health facility in Nebraska for a while to recharge. I just wanted to see my friend one last time before I left.” “I’m sorry you couldn’t find him.” “Yeah. Me too.” Wally downs the rest of his drink and stands, tossing a few bills on the counter. “I should probably head out. It was nice talking to you, Ric.” Ric shakes his hand again. “You too. Track me down if you ever find yourself in Blüd again. It’ll be nice seeing a familiar face for once.” “You got it.” Wally turns to go but stops at the door, one hand mid-twist on the knob. He looks back at Ric. “Don’t forget me again, okay?” He’s gone before Ric can answer, the door closing behind him. Ric was lying before, when he talked about the worst part of being an amnesiac. The worst part isn’t the missing twenty years, or the annoying family members, or the fact that he can name all fifty states but can’t remember whether he likes mustard or not. It isn’t any of those things. The worst part is knowing about the past that waits for him to sink back into it even though he can’t, no matter how hard he tries. It’s struggling with the fact that he has a whole family he doesn’t recognize but who loves him more than he’s ever seen a person be loved before. It’s seeing that love, witnessing the lengths they go to just to have their Dick back, but not being able to feel any of it because that isn’t his life. It’s not Ric’s love to have, and it never will be. Dick Grayson may be dead, but the love he earned is eternal. And that, right there? That’s what hurts the most.

#whumptober 2020 #ric grayson #dick grayson #nightwing #batman #robin #wally west #kid flash #the flash #birdflash #titans #teen titans #dc comics #fanfiction #fanfic #no.15 #memory loss

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gothamdad · 3 years

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THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS PART ONE: CINEMATIC WRONGS AND ANALYSIS COMMENTARY

DO NOT REBLOG.

This is going to be a bullet point list of incidents that occur in the movie, and will either have my general commentary or an analysis of what makes the scene terrible (or in some rare cases, good). TRIGGERS FOR SUICIDE, MENTAL HEALTH, AND DYSMORPHIA

-bruce trying to kill himself in the beginning of the movie.

Hes reckless, and willing to risk his life, but not suicidal. But he just purposefully gets into a wreck at 2 minutes into the movie?? for no reason??? theres literally no reason for it other than it being angsty bc they COULDVE started the movie with the mutants doing crime, as the next scene cuts right into it and the following news reports

-"This reporter hopes that wherever he is, hes enjoying a toast with good friends" said when its the anniversary of batman’s disappearance

this is stupid I hate this movie. You're telling me Gotham forgives Batman for just disappearing on them? DID THAT NOT HAPPEN IN NML AND EVERYONE GOT PISSED??? Like everyone in this movie seems to have forgot he abandoned the city. Not to mention, and I'm gonna go off on a tangent here, bruce will be batman for as long as he lives. He calls himself batman in his mind even when hes retired. He believes that Bruce wayne is the mask. His whole identity is batman. Saying that hed quit because of jason is not only stupid because it implies Jason's death isnt just as important as his parents, but shows that any tragedy is enough to permanently knock him down. And as if the league, or the family, would have let him give up. Anyway the whole reason the retirement in batman beyond works is because it shows bruce was going to fight until he literally died on the spot, but instead he pointed a gun, didn't even use it, just pointed it, and he realized he wasnt fit to HONOR batman anymore. He broke the rule. And he doesnt deserve to wear the mantle. This is so good because 1) bruce still wants to be batman and 2) it doesnt imply that he gave up at all, and at this point with his decreasing wellness his family WOULD be telling him to stop

-Gordon toasts with Bruce on the anniversary

FBKSBSOANSISSB OH MY GOD IT JUST SHOWED HIM SHARING A TOAST WITH GORDON. this is the anniversary of the last time batman is sighted and gordon. JIM FUCKING GORDON. Is celebrating. When they were literally partners and hed shine the batsignal each night TELL ME WHERE THE LOGIC IS!!! I CANT FIND THE LOGIC!!!!! I'm literally 3 minutes into this movie..... and already this is how its going...

-Gordon and Bruce talk

"You're not worried about me, are you?" Asked when hes in clear danger of being attacked by mutants "noT MorE tHAn i aM tHe ReST oF tHis CItY" ah yes. I forgot that Bruce hated gotham and jim Gordon. My mistake. Common misconception.

-the mutants are introduced

Ugh and it's the worst kind of villains too, jim just described the mutants as "the worst kind of criminals. They are only after violence, with no humanity at all" GIVE! VILLAINS! REASONING! I hate these joker wannabes Joker was already enough we dont need a million more "lol I'm just evil deal with it" villains

"Talk to Dick lately?"asks Gordon "You know I havent" Bruce responds

THIS CONVERSATION IS GETTING W O R S E BC I KNOW HOW THIS MOVIE GOES AND HE JUST INSTANTLY HAS CARRIE BE THE NEW ROBIN- WHICH, IS N O T BRUCE'S TO GIVE. ITS ALWAYS BEEN DICK'S MANTLE TO PASS DOWN- WHEN HE HASNT BEEN SPEAKING TO DICK????

-tangent on how it’s overlooked that Dick Grayson was the one to make Robin, not Batman

This is a sin that not just the movie, but the batman franchise in general seems to always make. Robin was made as a tribute to the flying graysons, and is meant to be colorful and aerodynamic for acrobatic tricks. it should always be dick’s to pass down, or the next robin after.

-Bruce begins having trouble with holding back his urge to be Batman

His whole wanting to be batman again thing started because of a newspaper with a family's death and pearls being sold. On the same front cover. I'm. THATS WHEN HE REMEMBERS HIS PARENTS? NOT EVERY FUCKING TIME HE HEARS A GUNSHOT? OR CLOSES HIS EYES? OR SEES BLOOD? HE READS A NEWSPAPER THATS FLOATING IN THE WIND??????NOT EVERY TIME HE LOOKS AT JASONS COSTUME? OR THE OTHER CRIMES COMMITTED??????LOGIC!!!!!!!!!! I NEED !!!! TO KNOW!!!!! WHERE IT IS!!!!!!!! ARE U KIDDING ME NOW THE MARK OF ZORRO, WHICH IS WHO THE FUCK KNOWS HOW OLD NOW, IS ON TV??????????? AND HE JUST HAPPENS TO FLIP TO THE CHANNEL.. Batman telling bruce "you've tried to hold me back. But you're weak. Ypu know it in your soul. You're nothing but a hollow shell." Is so STUPID!! WHY HAS HE BEEN FIGHTING BEING BATMAN!!!!!!!!!! BRUCE SHOULD WANT TO BE BATMAN!!!! AND HATE HAVING TO NOT BE!!!! AND A BAT FLYING INTO HIS WINDOW AGAIN???? STOP THE FUCKING CLICHES IM SICK OF THIS . UR NOT BEING NEXT LEVEL, MOVIE. ITS JUST DUMB. ITS DUMB!!!

-Carrie Kelly

her first ??? Appearance??? Is her going into KNOWN MUTANT GANG TERRITORY instead of going through the rain. And scolding her friend for not having backbone WHEN THEY COULD LITERALLY DIE and saying, and I quote, "its better than out there." then when interviewed about the incident her friend says "It was a flying monster! With wings and fangs!" and she replies with "Reality check, Michelle, it was definitely a man, but he had to be like 12 feet tall" OH YEAH THATS VERY REALISTIC CARRIE. Shes an asshole to her friend and we're supposed to like her. Oh and Carrie's reason for wanting to be robin? She saw the bat signal while her parents were talking about public marches. That's it. That's her reason. Not because she was attacked by mutants and almost died.

-Giving the movie credit

Okay but if theres another thing I'll give credit for, and I'm sure its unintentional, is that Harvey is the first criminal he wants to take down. Because Harvey is always going to be Bruce's priority. He didnt go after the mutants, but Two-Face. And the way that confrontation goes when it’s revealed harvey thinks both sides of his face are scarred. the Arkham staff fixed his scars before he was ready for treatment, and his mental health wasn’t priority. he was going to have dysmorphia either way, but not treating mental illness worsened it. kinda? good writing? But I think it was unintentional to have the idea that Arkham didnt know what they were doing and the belief that scars are important before trauma, and how trauma has to be helped first. I dont believe for an instant that's what's meant.

-Carrie Kelly part two

She gets a Robin costume and goes out onto the roof and is like.... almost dies. THEN THE NEXT SCENE WE SEE HER SHES LIKE COMPLETELY ACROBATIC? WHY IS SHE SO ACROBATIC NOW!!! THIS TAKES PRACTICE!!!

-Batman confronting the man who supplied the mutant gang with guns

Oh, this scene...He hands a guy a gun, knowing full well that he was depressed because his wife was dying and he had to make more money to save her by supplying the mutants with weapons, and just walks away as he kills himself. (input from a friend which i like: think about everything bruce did to help mr freeze and his wife now think about this scene )

Batman vs Mutants

oh, and the "batmobile". Aka his tank. Rubber bullets. Ok fine, whatever, but RUNNING THEM OVER AND SHOOTING MISSCLES ISNT LETHAL? AND HOW IS CARRIE KELLY GOOD AT FIGHTING ALL OF THEM WHEN SHE COULDNT HANDLE HERSELF WITH ONE LIKE A WEEK AGO. hate that the mutant leader is just a ripoff of bane with long pointed nipples I hate this. I hate that batman cant take him down, but carrie kelly can. AND THE MUTANT LEADRER TOTALLY DIED WHEN BRUCE THREW ADHESIVE ON HIS FACE AND HE WAS SUFFOCATED BUT LATER ON IT SHOWS HE LIVES ??

Bruce talks to Carrie

"What is this thing?" -carrie "Dick called it the batmobile" -bruce "SIR!!" -alfred over the radio There are no words. Then she pops his arm into place and creates a makeshift cast And he says "where'd you learn to do that?” and because she’s a mary sue she says nothing, because miller doesnt know why she should, so he cuts to "what's your name?" and she says "Carrie. Carrie Kelly. robin" and HE FUCKING GOES "MINES BRUCE." and then immediately tells Alfred hes bringing "robin" to the cave. I hate it here I hate that he forgets what happened to Jason aFTER ITS HIS LITERAL REASON FOR QUITTING. WHAT IS THE POINT IF HE’S GOING TO ACCEPT THIS GIRL HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW AS ROBIN?

-Bruce talks about Jason

OH BRUCE'S FUCKING LINE. HIS LINE. IM FURIOUS Alfred asks "have you forgotten what happened to Jason?" And he says "I'll never forget. he was a good soldier. He honored me" I AM !!!! SHAKING!!!! WITH HOW MAD !!!! I AM!!! Bruce would NOT say that shit. Implying that jason wasnt his son, or that jason was only a casualty in a war, or that HE FUCKING HONORED HIM AND NOT THE CITY, OR THE TITLE OF ROBIN "He honored me" shut the fuck up I hate this and dont even get me started on the misconceptions of Robin in the first place. i dont want to go into the debate on whether or not they’re soldiers, which I personally don’t believe. but its just stupid because Jason considered being Robin the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and he was THE BEST. it wasnt his fault he was killed, either.

-The ending

So the mutant escapes his cell by going through a VENT. A . V E N T. AND ENDS UP IN THE SEWER. I hate that these mutants are just an army of evil people and have no motivation and the leader is just a brute I fucking hate Bruce calling him "son" And the mutants become the sons of batman who fight crime......??? because their leader is gone?? werent they supposed to be evil criminals with no humanity in them?

-Joker

Okay but Joker being absent the entire first part , only to show up in the end hearing news reports about batman, and then smiling as he stands up and just fucking creepily says "darling" holy shit that gave me goosebumps. another credit i have to give.

#long post /#theres still a part two but i am TIRED #i cannot today...... mayhaps if yall like this ill do the second part #ᴜɴᴍᴀsᴋᴇᴅ : OUT OF CHARACTER

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elementalwriter67 · 4 years

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The Void Chapter Nine

Pairings: (eventual) Jason Todd x Reader

Tag list: @clea-nightingale, @wittedhat, @reclusive-chicken-nugget, @undertheredhood

Word Count: 3709

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7a, 7b, 8

Summary: The Void is a hellish place filled with screams that echoed throughout the place at all the hours of the night, and where pain is a very close friend. You’ve spent your entire life in the Void, having been there since you were ten and you’ve just recently gotten a new cellmate… Who’s a little more hopeful than you are that either of you are going to make it out of this place alive. Though you have to admit that maybe his hope is rubbing off on you because you slowly find yourself hoping that the two of you do get out of here

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Barbara panted as she raced through the hallways of Wayne manor, her hand tightly gripping her tablet as she slid around the corner nearly falling on her ass in the process.

“Shit!” Barbara shouted barely managing to catch herself on the corner, pulling herself up and out of her fall and pushing herself off the wall in the process.

“You’re running late too?” Barbara heard behind her and she glanced behind her to see Kate running towards her as well and a small smile spread across her face.

“Yeah I got caught in traffic, you?” Barbara panted out the two of them sliding to a stop in the study where the manor entrance to the batcave was located.

“Had to stop a bank robbery.” Kate panted out as she leaned against the desk catching her breath as Barbara walked up to the grandfather clock. Reaching up Barbara moved the hour hand to the number nine then to the number three before reaching down and pulling one of the weights. Taking a step back Barbara breathed heavily as the clock slid back and to the side revealing a long dark hallway and Barbara glanced back at Kate as she walked up to her.

“How pissed do you think Bruce will be?” Barbara asked as the two of them started lightly jogging down the hallway.

“On a scale of one to ten he’s going to at least be a solid annoyed/disappointed father.” Kate commented as the two of them turned and jogged down a slope before they came out onto a catwalk that stood over the batcomputer. From where they were they could see the others standing around the holographic map of Gotham that was situated behind the batcomputer near the railing that separated them from the second floor where the vehicles were. As the two of them stepped out onto the catwalk the others immediately looked up at them with unimpressed expressions.

“You’re late.” Damian stated as he watched the two of them make their way down the stairs. Barbara and Kate both rolled their eyes as they shared a look as they walked over to them.

“Sorry I got caught up in traffic on the way over.” Barbara stated giving Damian a look that he ‘tsked’ at before looking away from Barbara and back at the map.

“And I had to stop a bank robbery on the way here.” Kate explained as she dropped her bag to the ground as she leaned against the map still trying to catch her breath. Bruce ‘hmmed’ as he watched the two of them giving them a silent look of disappointment.

“Dick, Roy, what did you two manage to find?” Bruce asked, turning and looking at them causing the two of them to stand up a little straighter at suddenly having Bruce’s attention.

“Nothing much at first. Half the people we tried to talk to wouldn’t talk to us and the other half would all just repeat what the others that had walked about which was that the Void was a very very scary place and that if we had crossed paths with it we should count ourselves lucky that we didn’t get caught up in their shit, so nothing overall useful. But it does cross off the Hoovervilles near Amusement Mile, Old Gotham, and Main St.” Dick told them as he reached out and tapped at the map creating red x’s wherever his finger touched.

“Crime Alley’s Hoovervilles however proved to be kinder to us, oddly enough. I managed to convince a few people to actually explain to me what these people do and basically they go around kidnaping people off the streets, mainly the homeless. Sometimes they kidnap them just by right grabbing them, other times they promise people food and shelter and then they’re never seen again. Some of the people I talked to even said that they’ve seen them take normal people off the streets.” Roy added on as he circled his finger over the areas in Crime Alley where the Hoovervilles that had given him the information.

“Did you manage to get any names?” Bruce asked and Roy nodded.

“A few names, I handed them over to Kate and Babs to see if they showed up in any of the databases.” Roy said as he looked over at Kate and Barbara. Barbara nodded as she shifted, lifting her tablet up so that she could see the screen and she tapped at it a couple of times before swiping up. The map fell away from the table and was replaced with the files that Barbara had on her tablet.

“So out of the ten names that Roy gave us two of them ended up having no connection to the Void whatsoever.” Barbara started explaining as she tapped at her screen moving the files around on her tablet to bring up the one she was talking about.

“Which one is that?” Roy asked as he looked down at the table watching as Barbara opened up the file for everyone to see the information inside.

“This is Ryan Haywood, he went missing sometime around May 6th according to the witness who reported him missing to the police. At first the initial case revealed that Haywood hadn’t gone missing but had actually killed himself by driving his car off of a cliff. But as it turns out he faked his own death, and having looked through his extensive medical history, to escape from someone. He now lives in Los Santos with someone called Jeremy Dooley.” Barbara explained as she tapped on Haywood’s case file, closing it, before she swiped it away leaving only the other name.

“And this one is Ray Narvaez Jr. he went missing a little after Haywood did and at first there were no leads as to where he had gone and we thought that he might have been taken by the void. But then we ran his picture through the facial recognition program and came back with a possible match on a John Doe that was brought into the morgue a couple of months ago with multiple stab wounds. I went and got some samples from the John Doe at the morgue and we ran it through the system and it came back with a positive match to Narvaez. So while Narvaez is no longer missing it is now an open murder investigation.” Kate finished off as Barbara swiped away Narvaez’s file.

“And what exactly makes these two different from the other cases?” Damian asked as he crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the railing as he watched Barbara and Kate.

“You mean other than the fact that we were able to solve these cases?” Kate asked and Damian nodded.

“Simple really because these people left absolutely no trace as to where they could have gone, who could have taken them, and no one in all of the background checks that we did had a history that would warrant them being kidnapped. And when I say that they didn’t have a history I mean these people never once stole anything, not even as a kid, do you guys have any idea how rare that is?” Kate asked and the others shrugged in agreement.

“So you’re absolutely certain that these people are connected to the Void?” Bruce asked and both Kate and Barbara nodded.

“As certain as we can be with the amount of information that we have, yes.” Barbara stated as she nodded her head once. Bruce ‘hmmed’ as he stared at the case files still up on the table scanning through each one before looking towards Tim, Cass, and Damian.

“What did you all manage to find in the alley where Jason went missing?” He asked and Cass stepped forward picking up a back and dumped it out. Jason’s helmet, phone, wallet, knife, and the trackers fell out onto the table and everyone was silent for a moment as they stared at the items before Cass spoke.

“The only things missing are Jason’s guns and the rest of his knives and explosives, we can only assume that the people who took him ran out of time to disarm him and took everything else.” Cass stated as she looked up at Bruce.

“After combing the area for anything else that could have been left behind we were able to find some tire tracks.” Damian added on as he moved Jason’s stuff off to the side of the table, careful to stop it from falling to the ground as he tapped at the screen, swiping it away to another screen, and pulled up the pictures of the tire tracks.

“Initially it was only a partial of the actual track but I decided to run it through the systems anyways and I got 160 matches,” Tim stated as he took control of the table away from Damian and pulled up all the possible matches that he had found. “Once I had my baseline I narrowed it down to a van or a truck with a cover cause I figured that the Void would need a vehicle that could handle transporting several people at once and that narrowed my matches down to 60.”

“Then I-”

“Tim please, this is all very fascinating but time isn’t really something that we have in abundance right now so if you could please.” Dick interrupted his explanation and Tim cleared his throat as he swiped at the screen.

“Right, well needless to say I took 160 matches and narrowed it down to a manageable five. One belongs to the Penguin, one belongs to Falcone, the hospital, Black Mask, and some rich guy in upper east side Gotham.” Tim told them and Bruce was silent as he looked at the matches.

“Cass, Damian you take Penguin.” “Yes, father.” Damian said as him and Cass took off without another word.

“Dick, Roy, you two check the hospital.” Dick and Roy nodded the two of them rushing to their own vehicles.

“Babs, Kate, you handle Black Mask. Tim, Stephanie, you two take the Rich guy, I’ve got Falcone.” Bruce stated, the four of them already leaving as he turned around and grabbed his cowl and started walking towards the batmobile. This was going to be a long, long, night he could already tell.

~The Void~

Jason grunted as he hit the ground, his hands scraping against the harsh concrete which only served to add to the throbbing pain that was his body at this point. Behind him the guards towered over him laughing at him as they watched him flinch in pain as he pushed off the floor, rolling on to his back. He glared up at the guards who were grinning evil down at him.

“Well, well well would you look at that boys, looks like he’s still got a little fight left in him.” One of the guards said as he stepped into the room his smile turned vicious as he cracked his knuckles.

“So it would seem and here I was thinking we had actually managed to beat it out of him. Oh well I guess that just means we’ll have to go for round two.” The second guard said as he watched Jason, who continued to glare up at them. His hands balled into fists and despite the pain, and the blackness creeping in around the edges of his vision, if it was a fight they wanted it was a fight they were going to get.

“Didn’t Dr. Roberts say that the punishments were supposed to be kept in their designated rooms?” The third guard asked as he glanced around the hallway, watching the other guards and nurses doing their rounds before looking back at the other two.

“Relax newbie, what the dear old doc doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” The first guard said as he walked up to standing next to Jason who was eying him wearily. His muscles tensing which caused him to clench his jaw as he pulled on bruised and torn muscles, sprained and fractured bones.

“Besides how many of our men did he kill and put in the hospital wing with that little show him and that bitch put on? I’d say he’s got more than one beating coming to him.” The second guard said as he stepped into the room as well and Jason grunted as he went to push himself up into a standing position. He wasn’t going down without a fight, not this time. Before he could even think of getting on to his knees the guard standing next to him sent a swift kick to Jason’s side sending him sprawling to the ground coughing and wheezing as he struggled to breath. He would be lucky if that kick hadn’t broken one of his ribs and punctured his lung. Hell he’d be lucky if he came out with anything in tack period.

“Yeah but don’t we have somewhere to be?” The new guard asked as he hesitantly looked around the corridor, terrified of seeing either Dr. Roberts or Dr. Stevens coming down the hall.

“Pfft, please it’s just a subject transfer for Dr. Smith but tell you what kid if you’re really worried about what’ll happen if we get caught why don’t you go and take care of that transport for us huh?” The guard who had kicked Jason stated as he looked away from Jason to the newbie. The newbie hesitated for a moment shifting back and forth as he looked between the door and his fellow guards before stepping into the room, the other two grinning.

“Good, now why don’t you give him a good kick, I’m sure it’ll make you feel better.” The second guard said as he stepped over to the door to keep watch and the newbie stepped forward. Jason glared up at him, his jaw clenched and the newbie looked towards the first guard who nodded once and then back at Jason. Before he brought his foot down on Jason’s outstretched hand grinding his heel into the back of Jason’s hand. Jason couldn’t stop the scream that tore free from his throat as he curled in on himself, his other hand flying out to grip at the guard’s ankle pushing at him desperately trying to free his hand from the torment.

“Gah! Let go of me!” The guard shouted as he jerked his leg free from Jason’s grasp glaring down at him. The guard kicked Jason in his side again, snarling as he did so and the guard opened his mouth to say something but was stopped as the guard in the doorway was pushed aside by Dr. Stephen.

“Hey! What the hell do you three idiots do you think you’re doing?” Dr. Stephen shouted as he stormed into the room, the guards jumping back from Jason who grinned internally as he watched the guards cower away from the doctor.

“Giving this subject what he deserves.” The first guard stated his voice surprisingly firm despite the fear that shown in his eyes.

“By breaking his fucking ribs?” Dr. Stephen growled out as he stalked forward, the guards taking another step back, eyes moving between Dr. Stephen and Jason unsure of what to do. Dr. Stephen crouched down next to Jason, who tensed at the closeness of the doctor, and peeled back Jason’s shirt. Dr. Stephen stared at his already wrapped ribs and the cuts and bruises that littered his torso before he reached out and pressed on Jason’s ribs. Jason sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, his hands curling into fists which only increased the pain he was feeling as his right hand throbbed.

“You’re fucking lucky they’re not broken you dumbasses. Get the fuck out of here and go do your fucking jobs and when you’re done come and see me.” Dr. Stephen commanded them as he threw Jason’s shirt down and stood up.

“Did I fucking stutter? Get moving!” Dr. Stephen shouted when the guards didn’t get moving right away. The guards scrambled out of the room and Dr. Stephen sighed heavily as he followed after them grumbling under his breath about how they were all stupid pig headed idiots.

The door slammed closed behind Dr. Stephen. Jason laid there for several more minutes just staring up at the ceiling trying to get his breathing and pain back under control before he grunted and pushed himself up into a sitting position. His muscles screamed in protest, the pain spiking again, and Jason did his best to ignore it as he moved on to his knees. Panting heavily, Jason held that position, fighting the urge to throw up, before he climbed up on his feet. His legs shook violently as they threatened to give out on him and for a brief moment he was terrified that his legs were going to give out on him but he still managed to stagger his way over to his bed before he collapsed. Groaning Jason dragged the rest of his body up onto the bed before rolling over to stare up at the ceiling.

~Several Hours Later~

Jason groaned as he sat up on the bed leaning back against the wall as he stared across at your empty bed. It had been hours since he had been brought back from his “punishment” and they had yet to bring you back. He would have thought by now that they would have brought you back, after all how long could a punishment possibly take? His certainly hadn’t taken that long so it wasn’t like yours could be longer. But then again you had been nervous about attempting to escape, hesitant and unwilling even, so there had to be a reason for all of that right? There had to be a reason as to why you were so afraid to escape, obviously the punishment was one of the reasons but you couldn’t possibly be that scared of a guard beating not when it was clear you had gone through so much else. So what made you so afraid? What made you so nervous about escaping?

Jason froze as he realized the path that his mind was beginning to travel down, his hands curling around the edge of the bed as he glared at the floor. He hated this. Hated the fear that came with not knowing if you would come back from your punishment or not. Hated the guilt that was eating him alive right now. Hated the worry that came with the guilt that i-when you got back you wouldn’t talk to him again, that it would be just like day one all over again. Hated the uncertainty of not knowing when the guards would come back. Hated the anger that was slowly building up inside of him, it was the same sort of anger that he had felt when he had come back from the pit all those years ago, the anger that had driven him to murdering and slaughtering his way through every back alley criminal he had come across. The same sort of anger that had turned him into a monster and had broken him more than the Joker and Bruce already had. But most importantly he hated how all those emotions, all that anger, were because of you, for you. He hated how without saying much of anything, without doing anything, you had still managed to worm your way past his defenses, past all his walls, and carefully crafted facades, and make him feel things that he had thought he buried long ago, and he was powerless to do anything against the growing changes inside of him and he hated it. Hated it.

His thoughts were interrupted however by the door to the cell opening once again, his body tensing as he turned his glare away from the floor and towards the door. Sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth Jason’s eyes widened at the scene before him watching as the guards dragged your unconscious form through the door.

Water dripped from your hair and blood stained the stark white bandages that had been wrapped around your entire upper body providing some form of cover to your otherwise naked upper half. Your arms were covered in rivlets of dried blood and your wrists had been bandaged as well. Jason watched as the guards laid you down on the floor not dropping you as they had him but also not moving you to the bed either. The door closed with a slam and the rest of the world seemed to drown out as Jason stared at your unconscious form. His heart beat starting to race as he jumped from the bed, his pain a distant memory.

“Oh god. Oh god. (Y/N)? (Y/N)? (Y/N)?!” Jason shouted as he dropped to his knees beside you, his hands reaching out and cupping your face, turning you to look at him. Your eyes remained closed and he could feel his heart beating against his chest as he let go of your face.

“Oh god, please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.” Jason repeated over and over as he pressed his fingers to your neck desperately trying to feel around for a pulse. He couldn’t find one.

“No, no , no, no, no. No. Come on, come on.” Jason muttered as he pressed his fingers harder against your throat moving them up and down and across but still unable to feel your pulse.

“Fuck.” Moving further down your body Jason bent down pressing his ear against your chest and forcing his own heart beat to settle down as he strained to listen for your heartbeat. After what felt like an eternity though he finally heard it, it was faint, barely even there, but it was there nonetheless and so wasn’t you’re breathing as shallow as that may be. Falling back onto his knees Jason breathed out a sigh of relief as he ran his fingers through his hair and stared down at you. Another moment of silence passed as he continued to stare at you the relief he felt at hearing your heartbeat steadily being eaten away by guilt the longer he stared at you.

“I’m sorry.”

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internal-ethics · 4 years

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The Tim Drake/Robin problem

Wherever somebody says Tim “steals” traits and something already established from batkids they usually don’t mention Barbara. With Dick both DC and I can chalk it up to Dick willingly giving to his little brother who somewhat is like him in certain ways that Jason and Damian arent, and they siblings that shares the same roles so learning and iheritance is normal, but when you brought Babs into the bunch, it is a mess. 1. Tim these days stole many things from her to not be a cardboard character and a fanboy. This is how Tim fans describe him: - Computer/hacker/genius - Is the gladiator when Bruce and Dick fight. - Plans long term, terribly intellectually gifted and always seem to be ahead of anyone else, even Bruce. - Just like Dick, can talk to Bruce like an equal and make him be like “Shit they right” from time to time. - Has a somewhat normal background, s inspired by Batman but as a goal to be the best in both fighting and being the brain, KNEW what she’s doing and what she is since the beginning

- Had parents but now doesnt/is adopted

- Is the one who’s closest to Bruce in way of thinking and planning.

Tim was created when Dc said to write her out of comic forever - Killing Joke was an elseworld back then. Tim has had not a personality until 1994, and Dick mentored him in this period. When Denny O'Neil straight up said “I dont know what to do with Dick. Robin who? Batman really needs someone like her” in 1995, he brought her back plus Cass, and that is when Dc did not know what Batman needs Tim for anymore. and Then kinda lost and insecure Tim went to Young Justice and everything was fine for awhile until the 2000s where writers start to put the traits above into him, because Dick and jason were so nerfed you gotta make him perfect to get along with Batgod.

is there any wonder that as “smart” people of the fam who are both so close with Steph and Cass she and Tim has so little MEANINGFUL interaction in books that features him as “best Robin “ and the only time she has a say in Rebirth is to shoot his fascist plans down ? 2. Post 2000, They also said Barbara was Dick’s “true love” and write these Year One type stuff when Dick and Barbara are totally childhood sweethearts, Dick never loved anyone else, The problem is the way they retconned. I’ve whined enough about how the retcons is disrepectful to Titans and Dickkory, but it ruined Dick as a Batfam character as well. They are friends since childhood and true love; Babs even made an oath with Bruce to help him. WHERE THE HECK was Dick when Babs was shot? WHERE THE HECK was she when Tim banged into a mourning family, showed 0 regards to both victims of Joker and said “Batman needs a partner” ? Oh right, Dick was not only incompetent as Robin he also left Bruce alone to deal with both Jason dying and Babs’ shooting, and he is a bimbo that cheated and slept with Babs when Jasons Corpse was RIGHT There too. Tim is now “the best detective, the best Robin” WHILE still “normal” but that period where Babs was written out where Dick trained and mentored wee Tim - who had no detective skills and was little help to Bruce - and was Batman for the first time never happened. Batman apparently “needs” Robin, but he never ever “needs” THE LITERAL FIRST Robin. Only Tim kept these cool traits that required time and development, where Dick loses them. DC loved their self-insert so much they didn’t even DARE to fix Tim’s fanboy origin, while others got trashed left and right. Tim stole from both Dick and Babs and DC not only erased Dicks role in his development but also lied about it, that’s why DC and his fans can’t decide who he is - some godlike creature or “the most normal every-man” and what he will become now.

#tim drake #robin #dick grayson #dc #dc comics #ever reads #and rants #about DC's editorial fuckery #batman #batman family #batgirl #barbara gordon #thought i would bring my old rants here

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spunky-89 · 4 years

Text

Shipwreacked

A/N: So this is the next part in my titans!jason fic. This technically comes before Broken Ship but oh well, I never was good at posting things in a proper timeline 😂

If you haven’t yet, please take my poll to help me name this series because I’m struggling... https://forms.gle/VG6QcMY3nyGJJcTU6

Read part one and two here

WC: 1700

--------------------------------

You weren’t thrilled being in San Francisco to hunt down a human assassin, but it was what your father had asked of you, and as much as you wanted to hate him, you wanted to please him.

You were following the ridiculous feud between the assassin and the child heroes. You flinched when you thought about it. You tried to convince yourself that you weren’t going to run into him while on this quest. Rationalizing it due to the size of the city.

You had gotten a lead on where the assassin would be so you were prepared for him. Deathstroke. The killer of one Aqualad. Apparently, your father took a liking to him and wanted his killer dead.

You realized a few minutes before the broken team that the meet was a distraction from something else. Something with the elder Robin. You had no way to trace them though. So you waited until one of the others noticed and when the alien did, you followed after her. Sticking to rooftops using rainwater or open pipes to make bridges. By the time you got there, you heard something that stopped you cold.

You heard his scream. You saw Him falling to his death. You didn’t have to think twice before busting open a fire hydrant and jetting yourself up to intercept. But some kid jumped and grabbed him first. You used the water to cushion the fall for the unknown boy. You could see Him looking around, trying to spot the source of the water cushion. You stuck to the shadows, frozen in place. You could see his eyes from where you were. They were just as gorgeous as the last time you saw them.

You shook your head as the tears started to gather in your eyes. You moved to walk away when you saw Deathstroke slinking from the building. You moved to intercept him but you felt a searing pain in your shoulder, looking down to see blood spilling from a bullet wound in your chest. You turned around when you heard a second thump. You saw the kid who saved him on the ground with a similar wound to yours. You took a step and reached out to the water before the pain intensified and you let out a scream as you fell to the ground. You heard your name being called just before the black dots overtook your vision. But you knew exactly who it was.

---------------------------------------

You were in and out of consciousness. You could hear voices, sometimes soft and comforting, and other times loud shouts. All you knew was you were in pain, so you welcomed the unconsciousness each time. Until one time, you managed to stay awake just long enough to hear something that gave you hope.

“We need to get her to the beach!”

“Why? Give me a reason and I’ll agree but I’m not letting you take this girl to the beach on a hunch.”

“It’s not a hunch Dick, you gotta trust me.”

Then you were out again. The next time you woke up, you were underwater. You gasped as you felt the saltwater starting to close your wounds a bit. You let yourself sink to the bottom to breathe for a minute. You took in your surroundings. You were definitely on a beach, and if you had to guess, you’d have to say it was the San Francisco Bay. You took in your surroundings and saw legs covered in rolled-up jeans to your right. The face staring down into the water. You could hear yelling, but the face above you stayed focused on you.

You swam backward and shot up from the water, breathing heavily due to pain and shock.

“What the fuck?!” You exclaimed, staring at the few people on the beach. You quickly recognized them as members of the Titans. Which meant the person in the water with you was Him. Which made sense. He was the only one who would have known that the water would heal you.

“(YN)?” He asked quietly.

“I’m fine, I’m good.” You spoke, clearing your throat, still refusing to even look in his direction.

“Are you okay?” A tall man with brown hair and light eyes asked you as you started to walk towards the beach.

“I’m fine, thank you.” You said with a tight-lipped smile.

“How the hell are you dry?” A tall muscular man asked before getting elbowed by a petite blonde.

“Of all the questions you could-Sorry about him. Are you sure you’re doing alright?” She asked.

“Yeah, I promise. I’m all good.”

“That’s bullshit.” You heard him mutter behind you.

You ignored him and proceeded to talk to the kind woman. “Would you mind pointing me in the direction of the nearest... anything?” You asked when you realized you were in the middle of nowhere.

“Um, we’re about-”

“Why are you in a hurry?” asked the first man, cutting off the nice blonde.

“Because I was kidnapped and now I’d like to know what direction to go to get back to civilization before all hell breaks loose at my disappearance.”

“We saved your life and that’s all you have to say?” The taller man asked, his voice dripping with distaste.

“Thank you for saving my life, may I go now?”

“Are you just going to ignore me or are you going to acknowledge the fact that I’m the reason you’re alive.” You heard him say behind you, hearing him wading back to shore.

“I said thank you, what more do you want? And might I remind you that the only reason my life was in danger was because I decided to save some dumbass who was falling from a building.” You turned to look at him and voice dripping with venom said, “If I’d known it was you I would have just let you fall and save myself the trouble.”

“WHoa! Let’s calm down here.” The blonde lady said, bringing my attention back to her.

“I’m perfectly calm right now, you’d know if I wasn’t. But I am getting annoyed that no one has given me any form of an answer as to where the fuck we are and if I’m getting a ride back to the city or have to find my own way.”

“Look, we’ll drive you back, we just want to make sure you’re okay.” She said as her eyes flicked down to my shoulder.

You rolled your eyes and said, “Then let's go so I can move on with my life.”

“But seriously how are you dry and bonehead is sopping wet?” The muscular man asked.

“Oh I'm so stealing that name. But I’m surprised the bonehead in question didn’t give you the 411.”

You all started walking off the beach to where an SUV was parked. As you walked you started taking a quick inventory of her appearance. She was in clothes that weren’t hers, but she was glad to feel the cold metal of her necklace against her collarbone.

“Nah, said something about respecting a secret that isn’t his.”

“Wow, didn’t think he had any honor so that’s a shock.”

The rest of the walk and the drive was quiet after that. You had been given the front seat so you weren’t squished in with people you didn’t know/like. You soon noticed that the driver, Dick as he’d introduced himself, was taking you to wherever their little lair was. It was a long and tense ride. When you pulled into a dark underground parking garage you whipped out a dagger and held it up to Dick’s throat.

“If this is anything but what I think it is I will not hesitate to eliminate any or all of you. Do you understand?” You threatened.

“(Y/N)! Chill out!” he exclaimed.

“It’s okay Jason. Her point is valid.” Dick said calmly. “Just know that you pull another stunt like this and we will get a lot less friendly.” He threatened back.

You nodded and made a show of making your blade disappear in an instant. He raised an eyebrow, showing he was unimpressed. You smirked and exited the car, your Jackson attitude showing full force.

----------------------------------------------

“Well your wound is definitely much better, but it’s still nowhere near healed.” A dark-skinned woman, Kori, informed you as she examined your shoulder.

“So I can go?” You asked hopefully.

“I’d feel more comfortable if you stayed here a few days so we can monitor your wound. Samples from your wound could help us save our other patient.” Dick said.

“I’m not playing guinea pig.” You said firmly.

“I’m not saying that. You can leave if you want, but we could use your help on this.” He said walking towards the door. He stopped in the threshold and turned back to you to say; “And I want to know exactly who you are and what the extent of your abilities are.”

You scoffed as he walked out. “Did he really just say that to me?”

The woman laughed and said, “Yes he did. He has the best intentions but,”

“His execution might need some work.”

“Yeah, you’d think with all that charm he’d be better at communicating with people.” She smiled as she shook her head.

“Oh gods you’re sleeping with him aren’t you.” You spoke as the dots connected in your head.

“I don’t think you have much grounds to stand on, cause the way I see things, we have a similar taste in men.”

“We so totally do not!” You defended quickly.

“So you were in a relationship though?”

“Look the past is in the past, leave it there please.”

“So that’s a yes then,” She smirked

“It’s a never was never will be kinda a situation.” You said, venom in your voice.

“You say that, but your first instinct was to catch him as he fell.”

“If I’d known it was him-”

“You’d have let him fall, yeah I heard. But I think you’re full of shit.”

“Look, lady, I’m cooperating cause I don’t feel like starting a war. Nothing more. So if you could please mind your own damn business it would be much appreciated.” You snapped as you stormed out of the room. Preparing yourself for the days to come.

#Jason Todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #titans!jason todd #percy jackson crossover #percy Jackson #dcu #dcu titans #robin x reader #robin #titans robin #curran walters

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elareine · 4 years

Text

In silence (Jason, Bruce)

The city speaks to him.

It’s not good or bad; it just is and has always been that way, for as long as Jason can remember. He’s eight when he first learns the word for it, ‘telepathy,’ and that he’s probably considered a ‘meta.’ Someone different. But Jason likes it. Having a secret is something just for himself, something he doesn’t have to share if he doesn’t feel like it.

He’s really more of an empath than a telepath, though occasionally, a clear thought comes through. It’s not like he’s dangerous or anything. Sure, sometimes it’s difficult to separate himself from anger his dad feels, from the fear his mother goes to sleep with daily, but surely that’s the same for everyone?

Being a meta doesn’t keep him from being hungry. The opposite, really.

He wonders, sometimes, if his mom possesses the same capabilities, if it’s that what she’s trying to numb. The other possibility is that she’s trying to forget about him. Neither of these is great, so he tries not to focus on that.

She dies either way, and Jason is alone on the streets, as alone one can be with about a thousand voices and feelings in your head.

He does not hear Batman come up behind him. It’s a total surprise when the hand clamps down on his shoulder.

Jason lashes out in surprise and disgust. What kind of person does not radiate any thoughts or feelings? Maybe it’s true, what they say. Batman isn’t human. It’s the only explanation for the sudden silence in Jason’s head.

Later, after he tried getting rid of Jason twice and fails, Bruce explains to him that he learned to silence his head in a monastery in… Tibet? Nepal? Wherever it is, Jason immediately vows never to go there. He doesn’t like the numbness that spreads through him when he meditates. It feels like shutting out a world he’s always been connected to. What if you miss out on the good parts because you want to avoid the bad ones?

He thinks Dick might agree with him if only Jason could talk to him about it. Bruce makes it clear he wants Jason to hide his abilities. And Dick is barely in Gotham, anyway, and when he is, he argues with Bruce. Jason gets that. It would just be nice to talk to someone who knows Bruce like Dick does.

As the years pass and he becomes Robin, other downsides of Bruce’s policy become apparent.

“Why are we not punishing them?” Jason is shouting. He knows Bruce hates that, but—he can’t. In front of him is a so-called human being who even now is preparing what to say to his lawyer so he can get out of jail and do all this again soon. How could Jason stay calm?

“That is not what we do.”

Jason thinks of the little girl back in that cold, cold apartment. “If you could feel her pain—”

“Emotions are not a reliable guide for actions.” Batman turns away. The discussion is over before it ever began.

Jason still hasn’t felt a single thing from Bruce. No anger, no pain, and certainly no love.

Maybe it’s time he starts looking elsewhere. He can’t deal with this anymore.

__________________

It takes Jason a long time to figure out what’s happening.

When he comes out of the pit, his telepathy is stronger. He can feel Bruce, now, know him and all the disgust he’s always felt at Jason; how he values the life of criminals more than that of children. He can feel how the rest of the so-called batfamily looks at him like he’s an animal that needs to be put down.

None of them deserve to call themselves Gotham’s protector. Jason has absolutely no compunction in treating them as if they’re barely a step above the criminals.

Until he meets Arsenal.

Roy… he’s so soothing.

Despite all the shit he’s been through, there’s still this light in him, and he generously passes it onto others. Here’s one person who even Ra’s cannot taint, and it breaks the spell.

Yes. Spell. Or rather, the way being in the pit with Ra’s had messed with his head. Finding out Ra’s tainted the one thing Jason thought he could rely on… It feels like more of a violation than having to dig his way out of his own grave.

Doesn’t feel great, knowing that he attacked people for no good reason. Even worse is the desire to do it again.

“That’s not on you, man,” Roy tells him. As always, it’s backed up by his thoughts, his feelings. Jason doesn’t have to consciously check anymore. He knows Roy means what he says.

Still he shakes his head. “I should have noticed.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like there’s a 101 class for you take. What the fuck does Batsy expect if he just tells you to not use a power you cannot switch off?”

Jason deliberately does not answer that question. “Introduction to Telepathy? What would that even look like?”

To his surprise, Roy genuinely considers the question. “Dunno, but we could find out. I know a telepath on the Titans, let’s start there.”

They do. Kori even introduces him to an entire alien race of telepaths. It’s great. Jason’s filters improve every day. He can choose when to listen, now; he can walk along a busy street without picking up on every stray feeling. Life is quieter but never silent.

Learning how to get a handle on his powers is one thing. Allowing himself to see certain things… that’s more difficult.

Gradually, Jason begins to trust that the replacement has never held more than some well-earned wariness against him. There’s even some respect there, along with a genuine offer to help if Jason wants it. Dick is confusion and the earnest, if occasionally misguided, desire to make things better. The others are a bit more difficult, but that’s okay. Jason has no intention of becoming family again.

He still doesn’t know if Ra’s manipulated his telepathy to the point that he received wrong signals from Bruce, or if it was just his own head, trying to replace the silence in Bruce’s mind with something more familiar. Honestly, at this point, it barely matters anymore. Jason has got to stop doing this to himself and move on.

With his friends’ minds glowing warmly in the back of his own, he thinks he might just manage that.

__________________

All Bruce ever wanted was to shield Jason from the horrors of his mind. Surely his own anger could only fuel Jason’s; his own sadness increase Jason’s; his endless thoughts on the unfairness of it all only drag down a child who has already experienced so much of it.

(He will not admit that he was ashamed. He was not. It was—it was just better that way.)

He knows he’s wrong, now. Arsenal was the one who spit in his face, who told him he isolated a boy who needed connection more than anything else and left him vulnerable to manipulation.

Bruce has never even considered that possibility. To him, it was obvious that the tendencies Jason already had as a child had been strengthened by trauma; that Jason was choosing to spit in the face of the values that Bruce worked so hard to instill in him; that he continues to do so.

Absurdly, his first thought when he figures out that something else went terribly wrong is: ‘Why didn’t Dick tell me?’

Because he didn’t know, Bruce realizes. None of his genius-level children figured out Jason, because Bruce never told them he was—is—a telepath in the first place.

Anyway, Bruce tells himself, it doesn’t matter what he did or didn’t say, because some apparent manipulation on Ra’s part doesn’t excuse Jason’s actions. He should have known better than to kill. And doesn’t he still walk around with his guns?

Still, Bruce vows to be better with Duke and tries to find a way for Jason and him to move forward.

“Show them trust,” Dick says in answer to a hypothetical question that they both know isn’t hypothetical, “and maybe, they will return it in time.”

So Bruce keeps his mind open. It’s a struggle, after all these years, but he does in the hope that Jason will see something there that will help him move on; that will get Bruce his son back.

But Jason never seems to look. It’s as if he can’t be bothered to; as if he has given up on Bruce.

Maybe he has. There is no way for Bruce to know. He’s not a telepath, after all.

#bruce wayne #jason todd #batfamily #advent calendar 2019 #elareine writes #sorry this is a bit late #way too tired yesterday

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

Batman AU where a pissed off Dick Grayson, after being fired from Robin and kicked out by Bruce, doesn’t go back to the circus when he was off finding himself. Before he became Nightwing. He meant to, even made it all the way to Europe on his way to their latest stop, but in London he got....distracted, when he ran into one John Constantine.

Now, back at this point in canon, Constantine was probably in his mid-twenties at most. I’ve always pictured him mid to late thirties in current comic canon, he’s one of those guys who comes off as older than he is, b/c like, lbr, dude lives ROUGH, lol. But me being me, like, I’m not looking to hook nineteen year old Dick Grayson up with a mid-twenties staggering disaster in whiskey-soaked human form. However, that does not mean that Dick, recently feeling disillusioned about numerous things as well as lost and directionless, two things that define John in a lot of his decades, let alone twenties -

Like, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t THINK about it, and perhaps romanticize the idea of him and John being kindred spirits. As well as maybe a little attracted to Constantine’s patented performative way of living, aka “watch how I windmill through life, giving no fucks whilst taking whatever latest misfortune befalls me in an unaffected and devilishly snarky stride, because of the thing about the no fucks, see, that’s the connection there.”

And okay, if we’re being totally honest here, its not like it just COMPLETELY didn’t occur to Dick that he was coming up with reasons to justify sticking around and hanging out and also crushing on one of the people MOST likely to tick his dad off. I mean, let’s face it, John is like, the combination of three things Bruce has zero patience for and avoids or outright disdains whenever possible:

1) Magic, ugh, unreliable, illogical. (Bruce’s super-objective POV on the subject) - Look. It makes no sense. Follows no logical rules. Every usage of it is a breakdown of the normal universe and the ordered mechanism of The Way Things Are Supposed to Work, the things Batman relies on, needs in order to be him, the Great Detective, the guy who understands how everything works and that’s how he stays one step ahead of everyone else.

In a word, magic and all its works are RUDE and they like....annoy him just on principle.

2) Eternally late and relentlessly slovenly (not everyone has a live-in BUTLER Bruce, jeez)

and

3) ...John Constantine. (Let’s be real. This one just is what it is. There’s not a whole lot of getting around it. Its hard for Dick at age 19 to pretend buddying up with John isn’t guaranteed to make Bruce grind his teeth, given that its hard for anyone at any age to pretend that while Bruce almost certainly respects the things John has accomplished at various times....being in the same zip code as him is something he tries to avoid. Their personalities are not super compatible).

So, its a tiny bit possible the Great Divergence of this AU from canon.... comes down to one accidental team-up with one of Batman’s Top Ten Favorite People, No Seriously....and then Dick kinda leaning into being a bit of a petty shit here. Look, its not his finest hour, but Bruce started it, and also, like whatever. Alexa, play ‘Teenage Wasteland’ but y’know, all...SUPER LOUD and ANGSTILY.

Ahem. Anyway.

So even though Constantine rather famously likes neither people nor drama, and Dick is both those things.....Dick is also always effortlessly charming and makes friends wherever he goes. In the end, it should come as no surprise to anyone but Constantine that he is no more Immune to Dick’s innate Likeability Quotient than most of the rest of humanity.

And for a couple of weeks they kinda just hang out, get into random mishaps with magical gargoyles and ensorcelled ravens around the Tower of London and also one specific clash with a demonically possessed umbrella that turned anyone who held it into like, Mary Poppins, but also, y’know, EVIL - look it was this whole thing, don’t ask, Constantine still doesn’t like to talk about it. He even offered to show Dick how to do a minor cantrip if his mischief minded companion would agree to keep his mouth shut on the subject from now until the end of eternity.

Dick had to hem and haw over that one for a bit, but ultimately his innate curiosity won out over his fondness for telling a rousing but also hilarious tale. It was a very narrow margin, but that was all that was needed to have Dick’s foot take its very first step along a very different road in this universe.

See, Constantine’s not really expecting much to happen even as he walks Dick through the steps of the simple spell. Magic’s as unpredictable about who it’ll roll over and play tricks for as it is in how it operates and functions and like...basically accomplishes all the many varied feats that make Bruce develop spontaneous frustration migraines, because that’s not how reality works, none of this has anything to do with how reality WORKS, what happened to the RULES, dammit!

And sure, there’s all sorts of different kinds of magic, and all kinds of different lines various magic practitioners sort into....some are born into it, like the Zataras, and Constantine himself actually, though in a very different way from the former....others end up developing a knack for it after significant encounters with arcane or occult beings, forces, artifacts or the like, as though their exposure to such a focused concentration of it resulted in a kind of charge rubbing off on them, just enough to make them able to attract and gather and channel magical forces from then on themselves. Others are chosen to it, and some just have no clue why spells will work for them but not ten random pedestrians they stop on the street and use as a rather strange sample group.

But bottom line is magic isn’t just about practice and skill, you tend to either have a knack for it or you don’t, and more people don’t than do, so John’s pretty much expecting to fulfill his end of their little gentleman’s agreement and then watch Dick duplicate everything he did exactly, with zero result.

Except turns out, Dick Grayson DOES have a knack for magic, same as he has a knack for well, everything. The guy was crime fighting and kicking bad guy ass in middle school. Forget James Bond and Captain Kirk, forget even Batman himself, ROBIN is the original and ultimate Gary Stu. Of fucking course Dick would be good at magic if he ever tried it. There’s a fairly large school of thought in this universe that posits that the force they call magic is an almost living entity in its own way, perhaps even sentient. Most of the magicians and wizards and sorcerers in that school of thinking kinda all quietly nurse the opinion that magic just, like....likes Dick Grayson, and he just charmed it with his first attempt at that simple spell and had it wrapped around his finger by the time he said Abra Kadabra.

(Because of fucking COURSE John picked a spell he could end with Abra Kadabra, have you met the man? He’s the most dramatic of them all, why do you think he hates both people and drama so much??? He’s the people and the drama!)

So there we have one lost and directionless Dick Grayson, feeling like he’s lost his footing and all his old plans and projected paths don’t really fit him anymore, or at least not well enough to help him feel like he’s headed somewhere, doing something.

Buuuuuut, then there’s that petty teenage side of him again, the one that goes fuck Batman, and also I’m right to say so.....and at least that IS a direction to focus on, even if not the most noble one....so the same brain cells that linked up and logic’d him around to the conclusion that ‘Bruce will never think to look for me with John Constantine of all people, and LOL how much would he hate that’....like, big fans of the positive reception their prior performance had received, those same brain cells leap back into action with zeal and zest and steer him to the not all that distant conclusion:

“LOL, how much would Bruce hate it if I ended up being this like, super talented magician, with expertise he knows nothing about? Could you imagine?”

Turns out Dick could, and did, and so much like that initial inch in this direction, is the true basis of him following up on that and becoming a renowned sorcerous superhero in this universe the fateful last words “Screw you dad, you’re not the boss of me and I’ll do what I want!”

I mean. Yeah. That’s pretty much exactly how it began. Yup. Oops.

But the thing is, that’s just how it starts. A random string of chance encounters and events that capture Dick’s attention and interest at a time and a place in his life where he was looking for literally anything to do just that....but once it HAD his attention and interest, everything changed. It was no longer about thinking ‘hey this will really tick Bruce off,’ because Dick’s capable of that train of thought and gut/impulsive decision making, sure, but he’s not about to commit his entire LIFE to that just to flip Bruce the proverbial middle finger.

It only continues, he only keeps going and furthering his magical studies because he genuinely comes to love it for the sheer versatility, the unpredictability of it, the way holding reality in one hand and magical forces in the other is like walking a tight rope with no safety net, and sure its not the same thing as flying, but on that note, did you know there are spells that can literally make you fly?

Dick does, now, and he knows like, seventeen different ones.

And so Dick throws himself into studying magic the same way he throws himself into everything. He’s never done anything half-assed in his life. He’s physically allergic to the very idea of it. When he does a thing, he fucking COMMITS, and becomes the best he possibly can at it....which ultimately almost always puts him in the one percentile of that thing.

He learns everything he can from Constantine, or at least as much as Constantine’s willing to teach him. Eventually their paths diverge, not because of any bad blood, but just because Dick isn’t interested in the same specialties as Constantine. So then he moves on. Travels the world, similar to what Bruce did when he was his age, training to become Batman. But Dick trains with magicians, wizards, alchemists. Madame Xanadu. Sebastian Faust. Raven. Even charms freaking Circe into teaching him an enchantment or two, because lbr, a mystically inclined Dick Grayson would inevitably intrigue the more infamous mystics of the DC universe in the same way a combat-focused Dick Grayson intrigues Deathstroke and assorted others.

Everyone except for Zatanna and Jason Blood, the magicians Bruce actually respects and relies on, and who Dick is sure would report back to Bruce about him, and he’s still ticked. Plus, Zatanna’s type of magic is innate, not really something that can be taught, and Blood’s stems from his sharing his body with a demon and Dick’s not really looking for a roommate right now.

Eventually, Dick is satisfied enough with his skills and knowledge to return to the Titans. He adopts the name Nightwing, same as in canon and for the same reasons. He’s still the same man, same leader, same fighter with all the skills he already had....just now with the added repertoire of someone who’s branched off in an unlikely direction.

Hey, Bruce did want him to go to college and learn something new. Not Dick’s fault his particular field of study isn’t Bruce-approved. (Okay, its entirely Dick’s fault, since that was after all the point, but eh. Oh well).

Nightwing’s still an acrobat and hand-to-hand fighter. He’s invested too much time, effort, himself into those skills to just give them up. He’s an adrenaline junkie, thrives on motion, activity, the rush of going head to head with someone who can really push him, challenge him. His magic is incorporated into his fighting. He constructs who he becomes as magician around the foundation already in place due to who he is as an acrobat, detective and hand to hand combatant. His magic is an added skill, not a replacement for his previous skillsets.

So he has alchemical potions on his utility belt, amid his ordinary smoke bombs and gas pellets. Tools and spells of divination and scrying for when a trail goes cold and can’t be tracked further by ordinary means. But now the Titans have another mystical expert to turn to for magical related missions, not just Raven. Their specialties are entirely different, but they’ve worked together since Raven first came to this plane, and they still complement each other well.

Of course, this changes things in other ways too. Dick’s new focus takes him further away from his time with Batman than even in canon. He’s still traveling and training for most of the time Jason is Robin and never even meets him before his death. Of course he kept tabs on Gotham no matter where he was. He absolutely knows about the adoption, about a second Robin. And about Jason’s eventual death. But he’s still somewhere places unknown in the aftermath, not easily tracked down by Tim, who sets out to help Bruce on his own, wearing down Bruce’s resistance to him being Robin between just his and Alfred’s efforts. Dick remains largely estranged from the Batfamily as Cass is adopted, Steph takes her turn as Robin, etc.

And then Jason comes back from the dead.

But again, things play out differently here. This Jason is never found by Talia and the League, never dumped into a Lazarus Pit. Instead, Leslie Thompkins opens up her clinic one day to find a catatonic Jason in a bed inside, not long after he’s resurrected. He recovers as mysteriously as he returned, helped along by being in familiar environs, surrounded by loved ones as he’s of course immediately returned to the Manor and attended on by Bruce, Alfred, Babs, Tim and Cass. So he has less resentment for Tim, for being replaced. Its harder to deny Bruce’s love for him when he has Bruce by his bedside, day after day, watching and waiting throughout his recovery. He never suffers from Pit madness. Is never influenced by League ideology. Never trains with monsters and murderers awful enough he wants to kill them himself after he’s done training with them.

And its hard to resent Bruce for not avenging him and killing the Joker, when no one’s seen the Joker since almost right after Jason’s death. The clown never returns to Gotham from Ethiopia, not as far as anyone can tell. By the time Bruce set out to hunt him down, after Jason’s funeral, the trail had gone entirely cold. Bruce hunted for him, sure, but Jason can’t be too mad about Bruce giving up before finding him. The Joker’s never been one to lay low. When even just a few months had passed without even a hint of the villain or his future plans, it was hard to imagine he was still alive - he never lacked for enemies, after all. Not unreasonable that someone else had gotten to him first.

Plus, of course, its hard to compare yourself to the ‘golden boy’ and find yourself coming up short, viewing yourself as less loved than Dick Grayson, when said golden boy still remains estranged. He’s the prodigal son in this reality, with Bruce’s anger towards his eldest for never coming back to the Manor, not even after Jason’s death - its obvious to everyone, even Jason. Tim doesn’t have the close, brotherly bond with Dick that he does in canon, and with less resentment from Jason for replacing him, its easier for the two middle sons of Batman to bond after Jason’s return.

Jason returns to crime fighting, probably still takes up the name the Red Hood - his sense of humor and irony had nothing to do with his death or the specifics of his return. He and Bruce still clash. They have their ideological differences, Jason’s harsher than Bruce would prefer. But this Jason has reasons not to force an all-out divide between he and his father, sticks to the line (even if reluctantly), not because he believes differently - he still thinks he’s right about Bruce’s way being flawed and will always argue so - but because he has reasons to stay. Things he actually feels he’ll lose if he pushes things too much, actually leaves the family. Because he has a family, he has no doubts about that here. Tim and Cass and Alfred and even Bruce. He’d miss them, if he lost them. So he makes sure he doesn’t.

And then, a couple years after his return, Jason starts feeling hunted by something. Some presence, some force constantly shadowing him, stalking him. Something supernatural. Otherworldly. In time, there’s no denying it. He’s actually attacked by some unseen, invisible presence, like some kind of monstrous beast that’s hunting him and only him.

Its hard to come to any conclusion other than that it has something to do with his resurrection. Nobody knows how that happened after all. Not even Jason. But there was definitely nothing natural about it, so with something unnatural hunting him, almost as if he’s ‘the one that got away’ or some kind of affront to the natural order of things, the Batfamily adds 2 + 2 and gets ugh, fuck, we need to call a magician for help, don’t we?

Bruce calls in Zatanna and Jason Blood first, of course. But this is well outside Zatanna’s area of expertise, she has no insight to offer. Blood’s a little bit more help. He’s at least able to confirm that the force is otherworldly, not native to this plane, and might very well have something to do with Jason’s time....not on this plane. And he is able to affirm that there’s nothing demonic about the presence, no whiff of Hell surrounding either it or Jason.

Finally, reluctantly, Bruce calls in John Constantine, at Blood’s suggestion. His number isn’t so much the last one in Bruce’s old-fashioned rolodex so much as its buried somewhere on the Manor grounds, locked in a puzzle box that affords Bruce countless opportunities to turn back or try something else before he finally gets it open and pulls out the card with his contact info and the header: IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY WITH ALL OTHER CONCEIVABLE OPTIONS HAVING PREVIOUSLY BEEN EXHAUSTED PRIOR TO THIS - HERE I GUESS.

Okay, maaaaaaaaybe I’m embellishing a little bit on that one there. But whatever.

And its not like Constantine is the actual last of the last he contacts here. For instance, even more than he’d like to not have to bring in John, he’d really rather not call Raven either, though he knows of her as well of course.

In this reality, the Titans remain more distant from the Justice League and other heroes. They took Dick’s side when Bruce kicked him out, closing ranks, not to mention Roy’s falling out with Ollie resulting in a similar sentiment from them. And Dick and Roy’s diverged paths here similarly result in them paralleling each other in not reconciling with their fathers - they reaffirm to each other that whatever ‘their part’ in their disputes were, they deserved better than how Bruce and Ollie handled those situations, and they’re not going to let each other settle for being afforded less than the respect and care they deserve.

So to be clear, its not that even after a couple years, Dick is still actively avoiding Bruce - Bruce’s failure to extend the hand first, make the first attempt at reconciliation and conveying that he still wants and needs Dick in his life, his family...that’s still the underlying issue, and the real change in family dynamics comes from Dick not caving and returning to a similar status quo to what he left, without Bruce ever actually addressing his own behavior and mistakes in driving Dick away without making any real attempt to get him to stay, or to follow him, or to ask him to come home.

As for the rest of the Titans, Wally still became the Flash here when Barry died, but he felt no real need to ‘move up’ to the Justice League, and with all of the rest of the original Titans remaining a cohesive family unit here, he chose to stay with them when not patrolling Central City. And when Kyle Rayner became the last Green Lantern and joined the Titans as in canon, the team was closer, more family than the line-up he was briefly a part of in canon, and so he remained with them as well.

So the end result is in this universe, for the end of their teens and the early years of their twenties, the Titans go their own way, and they and the JLA keep to their respective ‘corners’ as it were. Meanwhile Tim’s generation remains known as Young Justice.

So back to the Batfam’s problem and Jason’s unknown pursuer. Constantine’s not much more help than Jason Blood was. After all, demons are his specialty too, just in different ways than they are Jason Blood’s. and the other magic he knows isn’t of a sort they need here either.

He is however, able to offer one bit of advice - what they need, John says, is a magician who specializes in the otherworldly, not just the netherworlds. There are more things in Heaven and Hell than well...just Heaven and Hell. Plenty of other worlds, plenty of other dimensions....the kinds of places something like this creature could have come from. What they need is a planewalker. And luckily for them, Constantine just so happens to know the name of a planewalker who could help them.

Dick Grayson.

And of course the estranged eldest still comes when he’s called, because its never that he didn’t care, its just that he wanted, needed to be called. Even when tragedy struck the family, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to return and be a comfort to them, its just that he wasn’t sure his presence would be a comfort.

(Though it takes numerous arguments while working on the mystery of Jason’s hunter, like, before this gets even brought up, let alone clarified. All parties involved are of course world-class experts at the cold shoulder, not to mention avoidance tactics and evasive maneuvers of all types.)

And as Jason and his other siblings get to know their mysterious oldest brother, the much alluded to but rarely spoken of first son, the Zitka in the room, the shadow they’ve all always been aware of but never known much about - other than that he had a definite Talent with a capital T for getting under their father’s skin, and while they might be closer with Bruce in this reality, Bruce is still Bruce and that’s still a Talent they all can respect and appreciate - well.

It would be a mistake, Jason realizes, to assume that just because Dick left, that meant that he didn’t keep informed on what he left behind. He has many many means at his disposal now, for getting information when he wants it.

And it would be a mistake to assume that just because they didn’t see him care, that actually meant that Dick didn’t care. He didn’t have to actually meet Jason to feel at least a connection to the second son to be raised by the same father, the second person to wear his colors, bear his mantle, fight at Bruce’s side. He didn’t even have to know him, to grieve that now he’d never get the chance, when Jason died. To be outraged at the Joker, on his behalf.

And its not like Dick didn’t have plenty of other reasons to hate the Joker as well - he was the reason he was fired, the reason he and Bruce were estranged, the catalyst of so much of his family’s misfortune.

And no one did ever find a trace of the Joker after Ethiopia.

Almost like he’d dropped off the face of the Earth.

Vanished from it entirely.

Of course, while Dick Grayson might be estranged from his father, he still abides by the code Bruce instilled in him at an early age. He doesn’t kill.

But there are worse things than death, some might say.

Especially for a man like a Joker, because he does have one thing he truly cares about: landing a punchline. Its why everyone assumes he was killed by some other enemy after Ethiopia....the Joker can never go long without making a reappearance. He needs an audience too badly to ever stay hidden for long.

After all, what is a joke, if there’s no one to hear it?

And then as well, the family never did figure out how Jason ended up in Leslie’s clinic, after he crawled out of his grave.

How someone found him so quickly, and knew the best place to take him. However Jason ended up resurrected, it surely had to involve considerable power of some sort, supernatural energies that surely had to attract some attention....

at least from someone attuned to the supernatural, who knew how to see such things....

and had reason to occasionally visit the Wayne family cemetery.

Yes, even in this vastly different universe, there’s still a way, still time to reunite a family even this fractured. When you’re a planewalker like Dick Grayson, there’s no road beyond your reach, its just a matter of finding the right one.

And just because it takes time to find the road that finally leads home....that doesn’t mean its not out there.

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clovis-enthusiast · 5 years

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Little thought about The Tyrant’s Tomb. [SPOILERS!!!!]

oKAY, so I’m gonna start off by saying that, as usual, Rick Riordan’s writing style never fails to impress and draw me in to keep reading and not stop until I’ve devoured every last word. I was DESPERATE to read this book because it took me longer to get it than usual, and I was trying to go into it spoiler free (aside from reading the snippets that Uncle Rick posted on his Twitter every now and then.) I pretty much managed to do so, and it made the experience that much more emotional for me. I went into The Burning Maze KNOWING that Jason was going to die, but I had absolutely no idea what I’d be facing in this book.

Camp Jupiter

I’m just gonna flat out say it; I was never really all that interested in Camp Jupiter in the beginning. I didn’t like the majority of the characters (aside from Dakota who is my legal son) and the camp structure (though accurate to the Romans) seemed too strict and harsh to me. The ranking systems confused me, and it all in all just did not appeal to me the way Camp Half-Blood does. However, the more I read, the more attached I grew, and although I still MUCH prefer Camp Half-Blood and would choose it in a heartbeat when choosing between the two camps, it still became an interesting place to read about. I ADORE the idea of New Rome and the sharp contrast of silly demigods like the fifth cohort vs. the strict rules and upbringing of the camp.

When Jason died in The Burning Maze and the next book was set to take place surrounding Camp Jupiter, I grew excited. I REALLY wanted to meet more of the demigods of the Roman camp and explore them more (mostly Dakota but I digress.) Although I knew reading about everyone’s reactions to Jason’s death would be hard, I fought through it and was somewhat surprised by the lack of grieving that was presented. I mean, the ENTIRE first few chapters were ALL about Jason’s coffin and Lester and Meg grieving and trying their best to get it to camp but when it actually got there there really wasn’t that much of an uproar. At first I thought that was strange but looking back at it the Romans are brought up to be strong and not let emotions take over them, and people like Hazel have to show absolute strength. Besides the camp was already in mourning over DOZENS of other campers at the time.

That was another thing that sort of bugged me. I was absolutely ITCHING to meet some new characters and granted I got a few, but the majority of the ‘newer’ characters had already been killed and served only as the undead army.

THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP. It was one thing that I think Rick did a really good job with in upping the deep and darkness of the Riordanverse series. Can you imagine fighting your undead comrades and friends?? Like holy shit, that was emotional. I was super worried I spoiled something for myself on Istagram bc I read a post someone made about Jason trying to get the undead Romans to follow him instead or direct them away from camp, but I should have known it wasn’t true since he was literally burned.

Frank

Speaking of burning, I ACTUALLY thought Rick killed Frank off. Up until this book, I hadn’t really realized how much I loved this man. His character is just so well-written and likable and when he sacrificed the wood, I was like NOOOOOOOOO. I was SO grateful he came back in the end because I was sure Rick would never hear the end of THAT one if he allowed it to really happen. On the bright side, my baby boy can now enjoy his life with a little bit more vigor and less fear now that the stick is gone for good.

New Characters

Lavinia Asimov: Okay, Lavinia is a REALLLLLLLY weird character to me. She reminds me a lot of Lou Ellen to be honest, but for some reason, she doesn’t appeal to me as much as Lou Ellen does. (Maybe it’s just because I tend to prefer minor characters) Her rebelliousness seemed a little too... forced at times?? And her whole thing with the dryads and fauns was kinda weird too, but I guess since she likes Poison Ivy, it makes sense. However, she kinda did grow on me, I suppose, and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of her.

Poison Ivy: I REALLY wished we could have met her even just once. Lavinia would not shut up about her and was CONSTANTLY rebelling against the rules in camp just to see her, so I wanna know just what kind of a character she is. I’m sure she would have been very interesting and sassy to have been Lavinia’s love interest lol

Pranjal: He’s a good boy!!! Not quite sure how to pronounce his name properly, but his appearance is adorable and I LOVE the fact that he’s a son of Aesculapius because he’s one of my favorite gods soooo... I really wish we could have seen more of him!! He’s kinda like Clovis in the way that he has like one important part, gets mentioned like two times afterwards and then never again :^/

Aristophanes: he’s a cat,,, i love him,,,

Harpocrates: This was SO interesting and out of the blue to me having gone in spoiler free!! He’s earned a new spot up in my favorite gods list because of how interesting and mysterious he is. His concept was great and although i was sad to see him sacrificed, I hope that he and Sibyl are together wherever they are bc that was damn cute and made me so emotional afgkjldg why did Apollo have to be such a dick as a god,,,

New names with little to no info: Carl (Roman demigod,) Reza (Roman demigod,) Reginald (faun,) Felipe (faun,) Harold (faun,) Lotoya (dryad,) Buster (unicorn,) Muffin (unicorn,) Whagadoodle (unicorn,) Shirley (unicorn,) Horatio (unicorn,) One Eye (pegasus,) Small Ears (pegasus,) Boost (pandai,) Ida (Roman demigod,) Caelius (Roman demigod,) Thomas (Roman demigod,) Colum (Roman demigod,) and Terrel (Roman demigod)

Lester/Apollo

MY BOY HAS GROWN!!! He’s so human now, and I’m so proud. He doesn’t even second guess sacrificing himself or humiliating himself to save his friends. I just... I have a lot of feelings over his character development. Rick handles him SO well, and I just,,, I love him,,, i am,,, in love with him,, i would date lester papadopoulos

Meg

She’s grown to be such a doll!! I was SUPER annoyed by her in the first books, but now she’s my daughter. I love that she’s actually expressing emotions other than ‘annoying 12 year old’ now. Like I wanna protect her.

Reyna

She was a pretty good character in this book and her leaving the camp was a HUGE surprise to me. I kinda wish she was still praetor because idk Hazel just doesn’t rlly seem as fit for it as Reyna was, and I like Reyna a lot, but idk i guess it’s coolio. I was also glad Rick cleared up all the romance discourse about her too though the way he did it was kinda weird (she literally was using the word ‘ship’ out loud like wh-- and i don’t remember the venus thing at all so maybe i missed it from a different book? idk it came out of nowhere to me)

Ella and Tyson

I actually like Ella a lot now!! I used to find her quite annoying, and her relationship with Tyson felt forced, but now that I had the time to get used to her and figure out her character a little more, I do like her. She sort of treats Tyson weird, but I think towards the end, I fell for their relationship more. Tyson was literally excellent, show-stopping, breath-taking, amazing,,, like YESSS KING I LOVE YOU AND YOU PEANUT BUTTER-SMELLING SELF (that one scene where he just started dancing and apollo didn’t know if it was for the ritual or just bc he felt like it killed me)

Character Deaths

Dakota: I AM NEVER GOING TO GET OVER THIS ONE FOLKS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I HAD TO REREAD THE SAME SENTENCE TO MAKE SURE THAT I WASN’T HAVING A NIGHTMARE. I PHYSICALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THAT RICK KILLED HIM OFF. I’M STILL EMOTIONAL OVER IT, AND JUST AJSDHF;AMNJ ‘; NOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS THE SECOND SIBLING POLLUX HAS LOST IM GOING TO S C R E A M HE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND HE DESERVED BETTER DAMN IT I’M LITERALLY IN SHOCK LITERALLY DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE I’M STILL IN SHOCK FROM CREST’S DEATH IN THE LAST BOOK TBH AND NOW THIS??? NOW I’M SCARED CLOVIS IS GONNA DIE JSDKLFKS the only thing that gives me comfort is that Jason can be with his friend in Elysium now fuckkkk,,, rick why did you do this to me,,, I LITERALLY CANNOT EXPRESS HOW UPSET I AM I WILL N E V E R HEAL

Don: Don was sort of a comic relief character in SoN, and it was very sad to see him go. He reminded me a lot of Grover, and his death scene with Lavinia ACTUALLY made me tear up. THIS BOOK MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL GOD DAKOTA AND DON WERE LITERAL BABIES RICK GIVE THEM BACK

Bobby: listen,,, we never even met this kid rlly and i was still super sad when lavinia had to kill him again and hannibal is without him and just ughhh whyyy

Julia’s mother, father, AND foster parents: HOLY SHIT RICK WASN’T THAT KIND OF OVERKILL??? I felt so bad for the poor girl, especially cause she’s like six??? But it’s very sweet that Terminus adopted her. I really liked that.

Jacob: AAHHHAHA this one made me sad too!!!! he was such a minor character, but he reminded me of Damien White and Ethan Nakamura (if he were allowed to actually be a kid,) so I think that’s why I was sort of partial to him. The way he died was SUPER horrid too, so I just,,, im big sad for him (on a good hand, he went down F I G H T I N G)

Mentions of anything relating to Hypnos or his children

Yes, i am keeping track, sue me. Somnus was mentioned one time in this book as one of the gods Apollo briefly considered summoning to his aid, and it is presumed he has some sort of tribute at Camp Jupiter had he not before. You’ll make another appearance someday Clovis, I know it :’^D

Final Thoughts

I literally CANNOT wait for the next book (which I presume is the last one.) From what it seems, we’re returning to New York, so Camp Half-Blood will be present. I can’t wait to see my babes again, and I’m REALLY hoping more minor characters will be allowed to shine (cough clovis cough) but like i KNOW some will die and just,,, im sad,,, dakota’s death has wrecked me,,, but on the side note, the new book is coming out in my last year of school!!! i’m so excited because this series holds emotional value to me like i’ve literally gone through my high school career with trials of apollo like it was with me the whole time and it’s one of the only things that keeps me going. i just,,, i have no words to express how much this series and all the others mean to me...

thank you so much for keeping me going, uncle rick. i can’t wait to see how this all ends :^) <3

#my post #spoilers #the tyrants tomb #toa #mine #me #clovis-enthusiast

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batb1tch · 5 years

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It’s my boy’s birthday so here are some Jason Todd head-canons 🎉

Probably 3rd to last (Alfred and Bruce) on the list of ‘understanding internet slang’ in the household. He died and just sort of fell behind on the times (including memes, pop culture references,etc..) I know he’s known for making snarky quips and sarcastic comments but I have no doubt his siblings would call him out on his outdated references. It’s likely it’d really piss him off too like, knowledge is really everything to this kid and here he is with a group of teenagers who are always on top of shit (Steph, Tim, Duke, even Dick) and he doesn’t know what they’re talking about the majority of the time. Can’t figure out how to use Twitter or Snapchat and he does not have the patience to learn. It’s a genuine sore spot for him regardless of the humorous side.

Has an inner city accent that will never leave him. Still pronounce “on” like “awn” and frequently drops his r’s (which Bruce acts like he hates but really he finds it endearing.) Drops his “ing”s like “nothing” is “nothin.”

Fantastic chef, learned from the best. Very good at making something out of nothing and making it last. Steph has been showing him how to can things like fruit and vegetables. She’s basically just enabled his doomsday prepping behavior.

Speaking of, if you think Bruce is bad with the backup plans (yes there is always a b c d — z) where do you think Jay got it from? Absolutely anal about planning and contingencies. Has a backup for his backups.

Has a small hoard of books hidden in an end-table back at one of his safe houses. His favorite classics (mostly gifted by Bruce.)

Loves the smell of paper.

Definitely could use them but refuses to get glasses. Babs teases him for his squinting when she gets the chance.

“Just join the club book-worm, promise it won’t ruin your badass reputation.”

Jason ~squinting~ “I’d rather die....again.”

Collects cool bookmarks.

Definitely names his guns.

Favorite meal is literally any Spanish/Mexican dish followed by a good chili dog & a coke.

Can pack away enough food to feed a horse and keep going, not even Bruce knows how he does it. Alfred acts like he’s a pain in the ass to cook for but loves feeding him anyways. “You’ll eat us out of house and home someday my dear boy, good god.”

While we’re at it, he is 100% taller and wider than Bruce. You might think it makes Bruce a bit uncomfortable when standing right next to him (I mean...it does lol) but he absolutely loves when Jay throws his weight around because the malnourished string-bean of a child that he met on the street could now powerlift a small automobile and he is so fucking proud and happy that he grew up to be big and healthy (that he managed to grow up AT ALL mind you) how could he be mad? He probably tears up at the dinner table after Jay fills his plate for 4th time that evening and still intends to stay for dessert because he loVES HIM.

His feet definitely hang off the end of his bed by like, the shins because his room only has a full compared to everyone else’s king/queen. It never got upgraded when he hit puberty (because he was dead) and then he wouldn’t let anyone change it once he came back because that’s his bed “don’t fucking touch it I still fit just fine.” (Even though he’s like 22 and there’s a dip in the mattress that could put the Grand Canyon to shame.)

Still has a picture of Catherine hidden away. Visits her grave on the anniversary and always brings her favorite flowers (Lillie’s.)

His hands get cold really easily and they’re always dry/calloused.

Snores. Loudly.

The Lazarus pit did NoT heal his autopsy scar that shit is there for life and it is big and it is ugly. He doesn’t like taking his shirt off because of it and the look on Bruce’s face when he sees it could strip wallpaper.

Stopped dying the lock of white hair on his head.

Has spring allergies that turn him into a giant snotting watery eyed whiny baby.

He’s claustrophobic and not a fan of the dark. It’s why his helmet has night vision.

(While we’re at it, that helmet has to be the equivalent of like, iron mans on the inside. Definitely has built in comms, scopes, analysis systems, navigation, etc etc. the WORKS. whICH he designed and created himself because he’s brilliant.) (Actually Roy might have helped a little but don’t tell him that.)

Has a work-in-progress bike in the cave that hasn’t been finished for over 2 years and it will never be finished because he uses it as an excuse to hangout and spend time with Bruce. Drives Steph crazy to see it sit there but she gets it.

During his first Thanksgiving with Bruce and Alfred he cried for 15 minutes before dinner (which he’s still embarrassed about to this day) and then ate until he literally puked. He hasnt missed many Thanksgivings since he died.

TERRIBLE at 1st-person-shooters and super pissed about it.

“That’s not even realistic, an HK-416 doesn’t even have a 200 round drum. It’s bonkers! It’s madness Tim!”

“Shut the fuck up Jason you haven’t even been facing the right way since we started.”

(He’ll stick to Space Invaders and Mario fuck you very much.)

Really good at piano. Bruce asked him to start playing seriously when he moved in because “learning a musical instrument teaches self -discipline and versatility” but really it’s because one day during his Robin years Jay sat down and started plinking on the keys to a song he learned at the public youth-center on the “old shitty out of tune” wood one they had and it just happened to be a song Martha used to play Bruce all the time. He wanted to hear it fill the halls again.

Gets in a screaming match with Bruce nowadays and instead of lighting up one of Penguin’s underground casinos (like he might of used to 👀) he’ll disappear for a month to cool down. You can always tell when he gets over it though because he sends the family a postcard from wherever he is in the world. (Alfred puts them all on the fridge.)

Pit symptoms used to (and occasionally still do) include horrific night terrors, black-out rage, and brief moments of hallucinations or flashbacks. He had to relive the period of time shortly after he was pulled out through graphic and warped recollections (typically after not getting enough sleep or engaging in physical altercations.) He really only started to work through this after Ducra had suggested keeping a log and writing down everything he could remember. After a time he was able to piece together the things he had experienced or done (mostly to others) and as awful and horrible as knowing may have been, he could at least start to move on.

The more time he spent with Damian after he came back the more he could remember as well. He will occasionally speak to him in Arabic & not even realize he’s doing it (which scares the pants of Dames, himself, and Bruce.)

He does feel closer to the little gremlin because of it though. Talia likely had him as a baby with her the majority of the time after he was born and Jay was recovering/training, so he spent a substantial amount of time with both of them.

Bruce bought him a kindle for Christmas one of the first years he was back and he was (and still is but don’t tell the old man that) elated.

Occasionally mumbles in his sleep, usually in a variety of languages.

He does smoke, mostly only when he gets stressed out (because everyone reams him for it otherwise.) You’d think it’s a rebellious street kid thing but it’s actually because Catherine used to smoke the same brand and the smell reminds him of her.

His shoe size is a 13.

The time shortly after he crawled out of his own grave he could see ghosts (and I’m talking straight up dead people.) He can’t recall much of this or the time spent actually deceased (even after his dunk in the pit) but even now he’ll see things move out of the corner of his eye or get cold chills or feel like he’s being watched. When he hasn’t slept for like, 4 days and is bordering on manic depressive and harmful behavior, he starts seeing them again. Constantine prob finds him real interesting.

My guess is that he did see Catherine when he died but overall ended up in some sort of purgatory-like state which he can’t recall.

When he blushes it’s the hollows of his cheeks, back of the ears and neck and all the way down the front of his chest. The autopsy scar shows up white against it.

Has those hands that no matter how many times he washes them the oil/gun cleaner doesn’t come out of the cracks. Looks like a mechanic.

Tends to wear thicker work/type clothing like carhart fireproof pants and boots. Obviously his jacket too.

Not a fan of cold weather at all. His nose and cheek get really red and he shivers (as unmanly as that is)

OCD. His apartments are spotless, weapons and ammunition categorized and logged, etc.

Had asthma as a child and sort of grew out of it but sometimes his endurance suffers as an adult because of it.

Has this particular phone case 💀

#jason todd #jason peter todd #dc #batfam #red hood

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carbonjen · 6 years

Note

Jaydick--Kidnapped Dick.. pretty please! Also, I'm so sorry you are snowed in!

ZipTied

“You know, you don’t have to do this,” Dick said, he flexed his wrists under the zip ties and ignored the way they pushed into his skin. He missed the days when people used rope. It was easier to escape rope. It was also a lot easier to make it look like Dickie Grayson could get out of it. He was quite flexible, as evidenced by his very popular, and very well managed instagram page.

Instead, he had to wait. First, for someone to notice he was gone, then for them to realize he was gone under suspicious circumstances (or for the group to announce they had him), then for someone to come get him.

“Will you shut up?” His captor asked. “I will gag you, Grayson.”

“Fun,” Dick said, voice flat as he looked around the warehouse. It was probably near the fishing district based on the briny smell on the air. This was Red Hood’s territory, which was just peachy for Dick. The last thing he wanted was to be near Jason’s patrol area.

“Okay, Joe, you know what to do,” his captor said as he tugged on his mask.

“First time in front of the camera?” Dick asked.

“I said, shut up, Grayson!”

Dick rolled his eyes and leaned back, he would pretend to be a little more scared, but these guys are amateurs, honestly, it’s almost embarrassing that they’d managed to catch him, but he’d been a little caught up in other things.

As the men argued over the best camera angle and lighting to use, a thump on the corrugated steel roof echoed through the warehouse and startled the two goons. The noise meant probably wasn’t Batman. Great.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Dick wanted to groan when he heard the mechanized voice. Of course the person he wanted to see least was the one that showed up.

“Shit, it’s the Red Hood.”

“Do you think we have a shot against him?”

Dick laughed and he was met with two glares. “Sorry,” he said. “Do your thing, I’ll just be here sitting pretty for whoever wins.”

Jason shot out the light a moment later, throwing the warehouse into darkness. Dick really wished he was wearing his domino so he could see what was going on, but he could only listen as he heard Jason land on the ground and take down his captors in seconds.

Jason approached him and cut the zip ties holding his hands together.

“My savior,” Dick said as he stood up and rubbed his wrists.

“You really let yourself get captured by these guys, come on Grayson, even a kid could have beat them.”

“I was having an off night,” Dick said as he crossed his arms. A hand landed on his shoulder and guided him out of the warehouse.

“An off night still doesn’t warrant getting taken by two guys.” Jason said as he took his helmet off, running a hand through his hair.

“I said it was an off night,” Dick snapped back.

“So do you want to go back home or wherever it is you’ve been staying?”

Dick shifted and sighed. He could go back to the manor and deal with Tim’s concerned looks and Bruce’s steely gazes. He could go back home and sleep in his own bed, eat food on the couch while watching TV, and not have to worry about being judged. “I want to go home.”

“Okay.” Jason scooped him up and Dick pressed his face into Jason’s shoulder. Jason smelled like gunpowder and sweat, a smell Dick had grown accustomed to and now thought of as one of his favorites.

“I missed you.” It was quiet and muffled by Jason’s jacket, but Jason still heard.

“I missed you too, Dickiebird.”

“That fight was stupid. I was being stupid, Jason.” The fact that he doesn’t even know what started it attested to that fact. Dick had been tired and Jason had asked him to do something, Dick had gotten upset and it had turned into a shouting match.

“We were both being stupid, Dick. I’m just glad you’re back home tonight. I’m sorry we fought, and I’m sorry things escalated.”

“We’re bats,” Dick said. “And we were both stressed. Next time we need to remember to just have sex and talk it out later.”

“Because that works so well,” Jason replied.

“It’s how we got together,” Dick said.

“I guess you’re right,” Jason said. “Your palace awaits.”

“I think you mean our palace.”

“Yeah,” Jason’s mouth quirked up into a grin. “I do.”

#jaydick #my writing #my fic #prompt fics #carbon writes #Anon #anonymous

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secondgenerationnerd · 7 years

Text

Broken Arrow pt 2

Author’s note: I REGRET NOTHING!!!!!!

Rating: M (swearing and some implied sexy times)

Words: 4331

If you asked Lian what happened in the three days that followed her parents’ deaths, she couldn’t tell you. Because she doesn’t think much over the next three days. Things come and go in flashes. Grandpa Ollie shows up with Grandma Dinah, telling her not to worry about the funeral arrangements. Jai holding her at night, even though she doesn’t sleep. Damian sitting with her. Jon asking if she needs anything. Irey getting her her favorite food, which she doesn’t eat.

The first day, she keeps telling herself this is all a hoax. Just a training simulation gone wrong. The second day, she tells herself that Mom and Dad probably lost their memories. They’re coming to find her. They have to come home. The third day. she stops telling herself anything. She doesn’t cry, doesn’t scream, doesn’t talk. She wouldn’t even bother getting out of bed if it wasn’t for her friends. Irey and Mar’i take turns changing her clothes, as the three of them have had to sew each other up so much there’s nothing they haven’t seen. Lian lets them. What’s the point in fighting?

She lays awake in bed, as the sunlight drifts over the sheets. She can feel Jai shift beside her. She turns over to look at him. Jai smiles at her, reaching out to tuck a stray curl behind her ear,” Hey, you sleep at all?”

Lian doesn’t answer. Jai kisses her forehead, his arm slipping around her waist. Lian closes her eyes, letting his warmth spread to her icy bones. No one else has touched her in the last few days. Even Mar’i and Irey are careful to not touch her too much when they change her clothes. God, she just needs someone to hold her. She needs someone to hug her, to assure her everything will be ok. But none of them do that. Because in their eyes, when she’s upset, she doesn’t like anyone touching her. Even Jai is pulling away from her.

“I know today is gonna suck ass, but know that we’re all here for you. Ok?” Lian doesn’t respond,” I love you, Lian.”

Jai rolls out of bed and heads out of the room. Lian sits up and looks around her room. Titan’s tower has always been a third home to her (behind her house and wherever Uncle Jason was staying). One wall has her guitars on them- from the Gibson Les Paul grandpa Ollie got her for her birthday to the classic acoustic guitar from her dad. A few photos are placed around the room. One of her and the team in their uniforms, taken about a year ago. Another of her and Jai at a prom (was it his or hers, she can’t remember). One of her, Irey, and Mar’i, none of them older than 11, squished in the back seat of a car, giggling like crazy. Another of her and her dad.

Lian stares at that photo. She’s about four and it’s Halloween. All the other girls in her preschool had come dressed up as princesses. She, on the other hand, had told her dad she wanted to go as her favorite superhero. She’d gone dressed up as him, in a costume that was meant for a little boy, but she didn’t care. He’d even dressed up in his uniform while they were at home. Ollie had taken the photo of the two archers. Lian grabs the photo and slams it down. Her heart pounds in her chest. Why does this have to be so fucking hard?

She dresses herself. God, she’s been to so many funerals that she knows exactly what to wear and what to do. But then, she hasn’t been on this end before. As she pulls the dress on, she decides that today, no matter what, she will not cry. She won’t give the assholes who hate her, who judge her, who are supposed to be her allies, the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

Lian looks at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes are brown, like her mother’s. Her hair black as midnight, like her mother’s. She has her father’s nose. She has his smile…well when she can smile. Her mother’s coloring for her father’s features. A sick twist of fate. She looks up at the knock on her door.

Irey is shocked to see Lian dressed. Lian hates seeing Irey when she’s dressed for a funeral. Her long fiery hair is pulled into a messy bun on top of her head. The black dress doesn’t match her colorful spirit. Lian hates this. Why do they even have to wear black?

“Oh, you’re ready.” Irey gives her a kind smile,” We’re ready to go when you are.”

Lian nods. This is gonna suck….

The church is packed with heroes. Her dad didn’t have many civilian friends. As far as they would know, he’d be on sabbatical until Lian turned 18. Then they’d say he died in a car crash. Or an accident. Or something. A few heroes give their condolences to Grandpa Ollie and Grandma Dinah. Most people avoid Lian. It probably doesn’t help that she gives off ‘talk to me and I’ll rip your fucking head off’ vibes.

Lian sits away from the crowd. It’s a sad commentary on her life really. But she doesn’t care about most of the people here. Most of these heroes, who’d loved her father dearly, made her a pariah once they learned about her mother. They could go to hell for all she cares. She glances back, trying to find her team. They sit with their parents. Uncle Dick has his arm around Mar’I, the teen resting her head on her father’s shoulder. Is she thinking about her mother’s funeral? Jai and Irey are squished between their parents, holding hands. Something she hasn’t seen them do since they were 11. When Jay Garret died. Jon and Damian are at their fathers’ sides, both mini versions, both quiet and somber.

She whips around to the front as her breathing changes. Not now, please God, not now. Grandpa Ollie’s walking to the podium. Lian steels herself for what’s to come.

“Thank you all for coming today,” he begins,” I wish it were under happier circumstances.”

Lian listens as her grandfather talks about her father and his past. Surprisingly, he talks about her mom too. She recognizes the story he tells. Her dad told it to her once. Oliver doesn’t paint her mother only as a villain. She was a human who did horrible things and made bad choices, but wanted to change.

“Now, Roy and Jade didn’t agree on a lot. The two fought like cats and dogs more often than not. One thing that they both could agree on though was how much they both loved their daughter, Lian Alice,” Lian’s breathing stops,” Roy told me once, the reason Jade left was so she could get her head on straight. To be the mother that Lian deserved. 13 years ago when Lian was killed-“

Lian has a flash of her premature death. Her house crashing down around her. A banister hitting her head. Dust stinging her eyes. Screaming for her daddy to help.

“-When Lian was killed and before she was resurrected, Roy was devastated. We all were, but Roy Harper loved his little girl more than anything in this world. When she was brought back, Roy cried every night for weeks. He’d been given a second chance with this beautiful girl. He’d often say to me ‘I’m not raising her to be like me or not be like her mother. I’m raising her to be Lian. I’m raising a headstrong, sarcastic, mischievous little girl. If I do my job right, she will still be all those things, but she will know that the world isn’t black and white. She will make her own path and have the strength to move past any obstacle.’”

Lian’s throat tightens as he continues, this time speaking directly to her,” Lian, sweetheart, I cannot begin to imagine what you are feeling. I can’t imagine what’s going through your head the last couple of days. What I do know, sweetheart, is how much your parents loved you. They were so, so proud of you. Your mom once said in an interview ‘I saw Lian on the news the other day. Little Red Hood. She roundhouse kicked some dumbass robber in the face. Sent him to jail. I’m happy she didn’t end up like me.’”

Lian can feel everyone’s eyes on her. They’re waiting for her to react. They’re waiting for her to cry. They’re waiting for her to fall apart. They’re waiting. She doesn’t move. She can’t move. The second she does, she’ll break. And she’s not sure she can put herself back together.

“We lost two lives this week,” Oliver starts wrapping up,” It’s not the first time we’ve lost someone. Every Hero that goes into the field knows the risks. Roy knew this better than anyone and he was always scared about how he would leave things with Lian. So he made her videos. Every time he left for a mission, he recorded a video for her and asked me to show it at the funeral. I never asked why.”

They look at the screens. Her dad’s smiling face shows up,” Hey, pum’kin.”

Lian is out of her seat. She doesn’t care that everyone is staring. She stands in front of the screen, reaching out to touch her father’s face. It’s like she’s little again, in an over-sized t-shirt and stuffed bunny in hand, talking to him on the communicators,” I’d hoped you would never have to watch one of these damn videos. If you are then…I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry, squeaker. I’m sorry I won’t be there for your birthday. I’m sorry I won’t be there to walk you down the aisle or see you holding any of my future grandkids.

“I am sorry. That’s what I need you to understand. I am so, so sorry. I didn’t want to leave you. Lian feels tears burn her eyes,” but I did. It was my time I guess. And let me tell you, pum’kin. I had a hell of a go. I made a difference in this world. I saved so many lives and touched so many more.

“Most importantly, I got to see my baby girl grow into a strong, intelligent, smart-ass woman,” Roy wipes his eyes,” God, Li. If I’m remembered for anything, I hope it’s being your dad. You, my magnificent, beautiful, beloved daughter, are a fucking force to be reckoned with. You hold back so much. I know some assholes have given you shit about your mom, which is why I made Ollie promise to show this video at the-my funeral. Because I want you to know I have your back. I saw what they did and I saw how it drove you to be the best. And you are. I am so incredibly proud of you, Lian Alice Ngyuen- Harper.”

“I am proud of your passion, your temper, your loyalty. I am proud of your perseverance and your drive. I’m proud of all your accomplishments. Doesn’t matter which one, I’m proud of everything you have done and will ever do,” Lian feels something wet dripping from her chin. Her breathing is shaky. Dad smiles at her. With her smile.

“I love you, squeaker. I love you so fucking much. I have loved all the hugs and kisses you’ve given me. I have loved every day I’ve gotten with you. I’ve loved every Halloween and every Christmas and every Father's Day. I’ve loved every day we spent all day listening to old records and talking. I’ve loved every first day of school and hearing about your newest crush,” He chuckles before teasing,” Maybe not Jai. But he’s treated you right so far. As long as he does right by you, he has my blessing.

“God, Lian. I’m going to miss you. I’m going to miss everything about you. I’ve made this video hundreds of times by now. It never gets easier. So, I’m not saying goodbye. Because I’m not really gone. I’m right next to you, by your side. And I will always be there, cheering you on. If there’s anything I want you to remember, any last-minute advice I can think about, it’s this. Draw the arrow back, breath, then let it go.” Lian releases a sharp breath,” I love you, pum’kin. Don’t you ever forget that.”

He blows her a kiss. Lian stares at the screen after it’s faded to black. Her heartbeats one, two, three times. Then she’s running. Her heels fly off and she’s sprinting down the aisle and out the door. Someone calls her name. Her lungs burn and her muscles are tight after days of not being used. Her braid hits her back and her dress restricts her legs. But that doesn’t stop her.

She runs. She runs. She runs. Until she collapses at the edge of Star City. Her feet are raw and every muscle burns. She’s still crying. Why? Why is she crying? She needs to stop. She needs everything to stop. She needs her dad-

“Lian?” Lian looks up. Mar’i floats down beside her. Lian curls away from her friend,” I would ask if you are ok, but I believe that is a stupid question to ask.”

“Does it ever stop?” It’s the first thing she’s said since Jason told her she’s an orphan.

“Does what stop?”

“Does the…the pain ever stop? Feeling like-like you can’t breathe?” Mar’i is the only person on their team who has lost a parent who was her entire world,” What was it like when your mom died?”

Mar’i is quiet for a moment,” When my mother died, I did not know what to feel. I was only 8 years old. All I understood was my mother went to bed one night and did not wake up. For days, I waited for her to come into my room. To pick me up and hold me in her arms. Tell me everything would be ok. That did not happen. It was not until I was leaving Tamaran that it…hit me. I cried for days after arriving on Earth. It did not feel like I was unable to breathe. More like I would never be happy again.”

“Does it ever stop?”

“It fades. I still have days where I ache for her. I ache to hear her voice sing me to sleep or feel her hug me once more. To tell me she loves me to the ends of the universe.”

Lian whimpers,” I lost both my parents, Mar. I don’t even remember the last time I talked to my mom and I miss her.”

“Do you love her?”

“Huh?”

“Do you love your mother?”

“I-Yes.”

“Then it does not matter what you said. You love her and she loved you. Do not let anyone make you feel as if you are wrong to mourn her,” Mar’i offers her a handkerchief. Lian takes it, wiping her eyes,” Do you mind me asking a question?”

“Go ahead.”

“What did your father mean when he said ‘draw the arrow back, aim, and let it go?”

“When…when he was teaching me archery, I had a habit of trying to aim the arrow before shooting. Then I’d hold it too long. I missed a lot and got really angry. D-Dad told me I was holding on too long. ‘Draw it back, aim, let go. Simple as that, squeaker.’” Lian sniffles,” As I got older, we would say that to each other when things are hard. Life is just getting ready to send us something better.”

“So he’s telling you not to hold on to all of this?”

“More or less.”

“Will you?”

“I-I don’t know.” Lian shakes her head,” I just…I want to go home. My home. Not the tower. Not Uncle Jason’s apartment. Not Grandpa Ollie’s place.”

“Okay,” Mar’i stands, holding her hand out for her godsister. Lian accepts it. Mar’i has her friend wrap her arms around her neck before flying into the air. Lian is aware of how warm Mar’i’s skin is, the May sunlight overcharging her powers. It does nothing to the chill in her bones. They stop at her front door,” Do you want any company?”

“No,” Lian shakes her head,” I want to be alone for a while. Can you tell Uncle Jai and Grandpa Ollie that I’m ok?”

“Of course,” Mar’i pauses,” I love you, Lian.”

Lian gives her a half smile that neither of them believes,” Love you too, Falling Star.”

As Mar’i flies away, Lian braces herself before entering the house. It’s wrong to be here without him. Knowing he won’t be coming home soon. He’s everywhere she looks. In the pictures on the wall, in the boots by the door, the crappy music on the CD rack. Lian stops in the living room. One of his old jackets hangs over an armchair. A few dishes sit in the drying rack. The house is quiet. Then the phone rings. She lets it go to voicemail.

“This is Joe’s crematorium. You kill ‘em, we grill ‘em- DAD!” Lian's voice laughs on the recording.

“Ignore my daughter. You’ve reached Roy and Lian,” Her dad’s chuckling,” We aren’t here at the moment, but leave a message and one of us will get back to you-“

Lian rips the phone from the wall and throws it as hard as she can. It crashes through the window. Lian starts screaming again. She hears dishes shatter on the ground, cutting her feet. She throws books and tips the furniture. She’s not sure how long she sits there afterward. She looks at the shattered remains of her life.

“Lian?” Jai’s voice calls out as he walks in the front door. He enters the living room to find her sitting on the ground, surrounded by glass shards and broken plates,” Oh, baby.”

“My dad’s dead.” Her voice is hoarse. Jai steps over the mess and lifts her into his arms,” My dad died trying to save my mom. To bring her home to me.”

“I know, babe,” He carries her upstairs to her bedroom,” I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He sets her on her bed. Carefully, he pulls her dress off. Lian feels goosebumps rise on her skin as the cool air touches it. Jai starts to move away, but she grabs his hand. She makes him look at her,” Don’t leave me.”

“I’m not going to leave y-“ Lian jumps to her feet, throwing her arms around his neck. The kiss is desperate on her part, pressing her entire body against his. She needs him. She needs something to take her mind off the pain in her heart. Jai gently pushes her back,” Babe-“

“Don’t,” She begs,” Please don’t push me away. I-I don’t want- I need- please.”

“Lian, you’re grieving,” Jai is trying very hard to not stare at his half-naked girlfriend’s body.

“I’m going to be grieving for the rest of my life,” she says bitterly,” No one’s- I need someone to touch me. To let me know I’m still here. I need to not feel empty. Please.”

“Lian…”

“Jai. I need you.” She’s desperate. The words in and of themselves are desperate. But they work. She knows she’ll regret it later, but right now she loses herself in the taste of his mouth. Ripping his shirt off, running her hands down his burly chest, unbuckling his belt. Jai lifts her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Lian lets him. She lets him rip her bra and panties off. She lets him lay her on the bed, his tongue in her mouth. She lets him kiss her neck, her breasts, her belly, between her legs. She lets him thrust inside her, taking her the way she needs him to.

This time is different. Usually, when they have sex, they talk almost nonstop. Teasing each other, obnoxiously flirting, hell they once had an argument about guitars while screwing. But this time, neither of them speak. He’s gentler than normal, which she hates. She doesn’t want gentle. She wants bruises that won’t go away. She wants to not be able to walk in the morning. She wants him to use his super strength as much as he wants. But it works. If just for a while, she forgets everything. All that matters right now is her and Jai.

Later, she lays on her sweaty sheets, staring out the window. Jai spoons her from behind, pressing soft kisses to her shoulder,” Do you want to talk?”

“I don’t know,” She turns to face him. He gently pushes her loose hair from her eyes,” I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He asks, genuinely confused.

“I don’t know. It just seems like that’s what I need to say here. I more or less just forced you into screwing me-“

“Hey,” Jai makes her look at him,” I wanted that. I always want you. You told me that’s what you needed.”

“I just… I don’t know what to do, babe,” Tears start to form in her eyes,” How am I-where am I going to live? I turn 18 in less than three months-“

“Hey,” Jai holds her face with one hand,” you don’t have to think about that.”

“But I am. Everyone keeps telling me what I do or don’t have to think about. I am thinking about it. I'm thinking about where I’m going to live. I’m thinking about how I’m going to pay for college. I'm thinking about how my parents died. I’m thinking about it and I can’t stop,” Lian feels Jai wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her against him. She nuzzles her face into his neck,” I can’t stop thinking about everything my dad is going to miss. My high school graduation, my college graduation, grandkids, our wedd-“

She stops talking. She and Jai have been dating for close to three years now, and she’s more than certain he’s the one. But they haven’t talked very much about marriage. She wants to marry him. She wants to be his wife. But she’s not sure if he wants that.

“Hey,” Jai makes her look at him,” did you hear him on that video? He’s gonna be at our wedding, Lian, right by your side. He’ll be there with your mom. And they’re going to see their baby girl get married.”

“w-what?” Lian meets Jai’s eyes. They’re brown, somewhat like hers, but much lighter. Almost golden. She thinks it has something to do with the speed force. Lightning in his eyes.

“Lian, I’m not proposing. Not yet. But I want you to know I love you. I love you and I can’t imagine my life without you. I know you’re hurting right now and you won’t be ok for a long time. That’s ok. Because I’m not going anywhere.” He gives her a loving smile,” I’m never going to leave you. So, whatever you need to heal, whether it’s being alone or having meaningless sex or crying or screaming or sparring, I’m happy to help however I can.”

Lian starts crying again. This time, Jai holds her tight. He rubs soft circles on her back, kissing her temple. He murmurs sweet nothings into her hair, assuring her that she’s ok. They’re ok. She’s going to be ok. He’s right there. He’s not going anywhere. She cries into his neck, waiting for her parents.

She cries for her dad. For all the Sunday mornings they spent watching cartoons. For all of her performances that he came to. For all the fights they had-about boys, about chores, about her mom. For the nights they’d stay up late talking about everything and anything in the world. For the afternoons he spent teaching her archery. For the summer nights when he’d take her camping and teach her the constellations. For the nights he would hold her after she woke up screaming, unable to breathe, having seen her death again.

She cries for her mother. For the few times they had truly connected. For the look of pride she gave Lian, even when they were on opposite sides of a fight. For the hugs, she’d given. For the coy bits of advice. For the performances she’d come to, leaving a note in her bag afterward. For the few times, when Mom and Dad had gotten along, that she’d make pancakes. From scratch, not from a box.

Lian cries and cries and cries until she can’t anymore. Her eyes hurt and her throat is raw. Jai gently wipes her tears away with his thumb. She looks up at him,” I love you, Jai-Jai.”

“I love you too, Li,” he kisses her once before pulling the covers over them. Lian rests her head on his chest. She can feel his heartbeat right against her cheek.

“Promise me you won’t go. Promise me you won’t leave too.”

“I promise,” His voice is low, head tilting to the side. Lian lets the sound of his even breathing and forever-rapid heart lull her to sleep.

In a few hours, they’ll have to wake up. She’ll have to answer all the worried messages from her friends and family. She’ll have to talk to her Uncle Jason and Grandpa Ollie. She’ll break down crying when she talks to them. Jai’ll stop and hold her while she sobs. She’ll have to shower and then she’ll realize how cut up her feet are. She’ll have to clean up the living room and kitchen. Then, maybe not now, maybe not this week, maybe not this month, but she’ll have to go through her Dad’s stuff. She’ll go through it and it’ll kill her.

But that’s hours away. For now, she’s in the arms of one person who loves her.

For now, she’s not alone.

And, for now, that makes all the difference in the world.

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batfamily--headcanons · 7 years

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Fic Idea: The whole Batfam (plus Duke) manage to gather in the living room without killing one another to watch a show they all enjoy:)

This fic is sort of inspired by my own family and our tradition of watching America’s Funniest Home Videos (for people who don’t know, the show is basically funny home videos submitted by the viewers.) Despite our differences, we always managed to find something to enjoy about the show because of it’s variety and it was just something to do on Sunday nights. Also, I kind of got carried away here but let’s face it there was no way there was going to be zero fighting when everyone got together.

It was a Sunday night at Wayne Manor and the entire batfamily, as Dick likes to refer to them as, is gathered in front of Bruce’s huge TV. Dick is the one that insists they have these TV nights and he’s had Alfred guilt everyone else into showing up as often as they can.

Sometimes, though it happens very rarely, everyone is able to make it and tonight seems to be one of those nights. There have been nights where only Dick, Alfred, and Damian have been able to show up and those nights normally end in Damian storming off and going to see Colin. But then again, every time Damian has ‘had enough of your never-ending stupidity’ he ends up at Colin’s.

There are very specific seating arrangements for these nights to keep everyone from killing each other. Tim and Damian are kept as far apart as possible with Tim ending up near Jason and Damian ending up next to Dick. Babs, Steph, and Kate (when she decides to show up) all sit together and whisper the whole time. Dick is convinced that they’re always talking about him when they do that. Bruce sits next to Alfred and Duke tends to sit wherever he likes much to Damian’s irritation.

“Grayson, must we watch this pathetic excuse for television with these idiots every week?,” Damian asks as the show’s theme song begins to play.

“Don’t deny that you love this show, Little D, the cute animals get you every time. And don’t call them idiots, they are your family,” Dick chides without much conviction.

“Shut up you two, Tom Bergeron’s commentary is the best part of this show,” Jason says.

“I thought people scaring the shit out of their family members was the best part of the show for you?,” Tim points out.

“Language Timmy! There are innocent children present. Besides, my opinions are allowed to change,” Jason replies.

“If you are referring to me as an innocent, that crowbar did more damage than we all thought,” Damian mutters.

Jason jumps to his feet and lunges towards Damian but before he can pummel the little twerp, someone grabs him and holds him in place. He turns his head to see Bruce looking at him with his disappointed face on. Uh oh.

“Ooh Jason’s in troooubleee! Give him a timeout, B,” Stephanie calls out.

“Take away his technology privileges for a week!,” Dick yells.

“Ban him from wearing his eyeliner that we all know he wears despite the constant denials,” Duke adds.

“Hey I am in my twenties, Bruce can’t ground me anymore,” Jay says.

“I’m legally an adult and he can still ground me, Jay,” Tim grumbles.

“Everyone stop it! Jason, Damian, you were both out of line. Your punishment is going to be to sit here with us and watch the rest of the episode without complaining or running off to Colin’s,” Bruce says, putting his foot down.

“Aw come on, that’s the worst possible punishment,” Jason complains.

“We are your family, Jason. Spending time with us shouldn’t be considered a punishment. You can come sit with us if you’re so afraid of the child,” Barbara says.

“I’m not sure who should be more offended, me or Damian. Besides, I’m perfectly fine here with Tim.”

“Yeah you are,” Steph says with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

“Oh my god, Steph. For the last time, we are not secretly dating despite the fact that you fill the entire Red Hood/Red Robin fanfiction tag single-handedly,” Tim whines.

“Everybody shut up, there’s a cute dog on the screen,” Damian screams and everyone’s bickering is cut off.

Alfred, Duke, and Cass watch the whole scene unfold as silently as possible because if there’s one thing they know, it’s not to get involved when Jason and Damian start going at it.

They do eventually get to watch the rest of the show in (relative) peace and despite the fighting and insults that get thrown around on Sunday nights, none of them would have it any other way.

#batfamily #asks #fanfiction #theresa writes stuff

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ellana-ravenwood · 7 years

Text

And when I’m gone... - Bruce Wayne/Batfam x Reader

Summary : The Batfamily’s reaction to your death...

I just wanted to write a sad piece today, because of reasons, so...yeah. Hope you’ll still like it, and that it’s not too shitty :

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_______________________________________________________________________

You promised you’d fight, and fight you did. With all your energy...but it wasn’t enough. It took you away from them anyway.

As Jason would say : “Cancer’s a bitch”.

This sickness was wickedly cruel. It gave so much false hope to your children and husband...A few days before you died, you were getting better, doctors were hopeful, you started to really have a chance. You felt better than you ever did in that last year, and you thought that maybe, just maybe, you’d get to see your babies grow up into the wonderful adults you were sure they’d became, and you were going to be able to grow old with your Bruce. However, the disease had another idea, and after this almost miraculous recovery...you got worst than ever and were dead before the end of the week.

Cancer’s a bitch.

In the span of a short little year, it had taken you to the grave, and left behind six broken men. Or rather, two men and four boys who would have to learn how to be men without you.

Alfred Pennyworth. Since the very first day Bruce took you home, he considered you part of the family, going to the extent of telling you more than once that he loved you like a daughter. After all, you were the one that gave a little light to Bruce’s world at the time, and the only one able to deal with his shit every hours of the day, never giving up on him. Just because of that, he couldn’t do anything else but love you. Besides, you two had multiple taste in common, and you spent countless nights watching theater, playing chess, talking about anything and everything. You were one of his favorite people in the World. He loved the way you always spoke your mind, but were never mean or unfair. He loved how your smile and jokes could suddenly turn your sons and husband's frown upside down. He just loved your presence in general. Right before you died, you were playing a particularly suspenseful game of chess with him, and he couldn’t find the will to put it away, even though you were now gone since over a month...Every time he passed next to it, a game forever unfinished, he couldn’t hold his tears. Oh he missed you so dearly...

Richard Grayson. Dickie. Your eldest son. He remembered when he arrived in Wayne Manor and met you for the first time. You were so gentle, so nice and beautiful, that he wasn’t able to stop the smile shining on his face. You were the first to make him smile since his parents’ death, and you would continue to provoke such reactions in him. The day he asked you if it was ok to call you “mom”, and if his own mother would be mad at him if he did...You pulled him into the best hug he ever had. Comforting, loving, caring. A mother’s embrace. He knew from that day on you’d always get his back, and you always did indeed. When he learned that you were very sick, he acted like everything was OK. He kept smiling, laughing and making terrible jokes, for your sake. He knew you, he knew you couldn’t bear the thought of any of your loved one to be sad. So he kept a facade, and he did a great job doing so...He also took care of you, trying to return all those years you took care of him. Carrying you to your bed, just as you did for him. Attempting to cook your favorite meals, just like you did when he was sad. He gave you a compliment every day, just like you did to boost his confidence before he went to school. He was actually pretty sure that, if sometimes he was a bit cocky, it was because his mommy kept saying he was the best...You gave him one of the best advice once, telling him that to avoid feeling sad, at the end of each day, he should write what he was thankful for in a notebook. Your name appeared on it every time. On your funeral, he left all of his notebooks in your casket, and didn’t start another one for a long time. Writing those things made him think of you, and the memory of your death were just too recent. Now that you were gone, he didn’t had to keep a fake face...and every time he tried to write what he was thankful for, the paper just got soaked with his tears...

Jason Todd. Jay. When Bruce told you the story of that little boy who was trying to steal the wheels off of the batmobile, you were impressed. Kid had to be quite fearless to try and steal the Batman’s wheels...And when he came home with your husband, you knew he was special. He had a difficult life before (and after) becoming Robin, and many thing messed his mind up...Fortunately for him, he always thought, you had a talent to mend broken people. You never gave up on him, and he’d never stop loving you for that. No matter what, you always had time for him, and you were the only one threw his life that ever listened that much what he said. He could tell you anything. He told you everything. When he got hurt, mentally or physically, you were there. When he got into a fight with Bruce, you were there. When he thought he was worthless, you were there. When he died you visited him everyday, you were there. When he came back to life, you were there. When he started to kill, you were still there. Of course, you told him multiple time to stop his murderous vigilante ways, but...He was a stubborn guy. Even when he was a total ass to you though, you never left, you never told him to leave...You were just always there, his rock. He was sure he would have killed himself since a long time if you never had been part of his life. So when you got diagnosed with cancer, he was there for you. He wasn’t as good as Dick to hide how much pain he was in to see you like this...But he was there. He settled his differences with Bruce, they were talking again. He wanted to make you happy...He moved back in the mansion after your death, and made it his life goal to always be the shoulder his brothers, father, and loved butler could cry on, trying to follow your exemple as best he could. Hoping that, wherever you were, you were proud of him. He never touched a gun again.

Timothy Drake. Timmy. The nine year old boy who knocked on your door and, without introducing himself, told you : “I know you’re Batman’s wife”. In your opinion, he was the smartest man in the whole world, and you often told him. You used to spent hours just the two of you, building robots and other machines, talking about things people could do to improve the world. With you, he never felt like he wasn’t good enough. He was always in Jason and Dick’s shadow...Except when with you. You gave him as much love and support you gave the others, if not a bit more, because you thought he didn’t have enough. You knew which words to say to make him feel better, wether he had a heartbreak, or was badly hurt because of his Red Robin activities. You taught him so much. About so many things. From computers and hacking to how to express his feelings better. From fighting techniques to how to bake the best cookies ever...In his eyes, you were the best person to ever walked this Earth. So much shit happened to you, and yet, you always stayed strong for them. For him. When he learned of your disease, he destroyed everything in his bedroom in a fit of rage and sadness...You came to him and took him in your arms for hours, not letting go until he felt a bit better. Just like his brothers, he tried to take care of you as best he could, to try and give back what you gave him...But there was so much you gave him, he was afraid you’d never know how much he was grateful, how much he loved you. You were always so supportive...You never mocked him for anything. Like when he told you he would love to be a singer...You encouraged him. And at your funerals, he sang a song he wrote for and about you when he was twelve. It was childish, a bit naive, pretty bad really...But it made everyone smile.

Damian Wayne. Dami’. Though he was calling you “Oumi” (”mum” in arabic) only since a few short years, he loved you more than anything. You taught him how to love, and how it felt to be loved. Truly loved. Even at the beginning, when he acted like he hated you, you kept coming back to him. You kept asking how he was, baking him his favorite cakes and such...You were so annoying, he couldn’t resist you. He even went to the extent of playing stupid board games with you, watching Disney films and just spending time with you in general, enjoying your company above all. He made tons of effort to be a good boy when you were here. When you were around him, he felt his heart was a little bit lighter. You had the same effect on him than you had on his father. You just made them happier by your mere presence. You made them want to be better. Just for you. He just loved you. He’d never admit it though. Well, that wasn’t really true. When the news of your sickness slapped him in the face, there wasn’t a day without him telling or showing you how much he cared about you. Though his first action was to punch the doctor who said you didn’t had much to live in the face...During the time you were ill, the only way for him to fall asleep was if you ran your soothing hands threw his hair. He didn’t want to waste time by sleeping. He didn’t want you to go. Not now. Not so soon. He needed you so much. You knew it, and he knew it was killing you (figure of speech...) to see him like that, and so he tried to follow Dick’s model. To be honest, he often tried to follow Dick’s actions...And he did a pretty good job. He made sure that, before you died, you knew that he was going to be a good man thanks to you. At your funeral, he drew your favorite scene from your favorite Disney film, and laid it in your casket. He often came to see your grave, staying to talk to you. Once a month, he left a drawing of something you liked.

And finally, Bruce Wayne. Your Bruce. The love of your life. You first met him at the police headquarters, right after his parents died. You were a bit younger than him, about 6 years old. You were there because your father, for reasons you never knew, murdered your mother and siblings before committing suicide, leaving you the sole survivor also for reasons you never knew. And that’s what drew you two together, both orphans, both witnessing their family’s death. Except that you never had an “Alfred”, and you grew up in the tough neighborhood that was “the Narrows”. You visited the Wayne mansion often though, and Bruce “secretly” helped you financially all threw your life. “Secretly”...you weren’t stupid, the sudden scholarship you had for prestigious universities and such, well, you knew they came from him. When you turned twenty, you became his. Twenty two, first kid. Thirty, got married...You two almost always been friends, and around each others. You had a similar tragic backstory, and yet, you were so much different than Bruce. For starter, you were often smiling. You always had the words to get him in a good mood. When he was being a total prick to you, you told him off, but you never left him. Not once. You were always at his side. You taught him how to feel again. You gave him a reason to live other than to protect Gotham. You always laughed saying that you were “the light in his darkness”, joking about how cheesy it was...but it was true. You were the light in his darkness, always bringing him back from the edge of that damn well in the worst of times. You were the love of his life...His world started to shatter the day he sat with you in that doctor’s office, and he understood your days were numbered. He did everything in his power to make the remnant of your life the best ever. He always took good care of you, even if sometimes he wasn’t there because of his work and nightly activities, he always came back to you at the end of the day...But during this year, he almost never left you. Your boys and him took a turn each night to watch over Gotham, and you saw him more than you ever did. He was always touching you in some way, trying to smile as much as he could...Doing his best, really, to make everything perfect. Until one day, his World shattered completely. You were his world. With you gone...He was at your side when you took your last breath, and tried to revive you for almost 6 hours non-stop. He couldn’t let you go, he couldn’t watch someone else he loved more than his own life die again. You couldn’t die like that. You were getting better...He buried you, digging the hole himself, next to his parents. Visiting you every day. He delved into his work, and into Batman more than ever, trying to forget his pain. But he couldn’t, he simply couldn’t, and more often than not, he found himself wanting to scream at the top of his lungs how it should have been him, not you. What did you ever do but bring happiness to the people around you ? You weren’t suppose to ever leave him, not so soon...Without you, things were bleak again. Dark. Sad. Violent. Every memories of you stinging his heart, every picture around the house making him want to go back in time and hold you in his arms again. He still had the reflex to reach for you on your side of the bed each morning...He forbid Alfred to wash the sheets, as long as your smell lingered around, he wouldn’t change them. The only things keeping him grounded anymore were your sons. In all of their actions, he saw a part of you, and he held onto that as hard as he could. He couldn’t let you go yet. Hell, he was lying to himself if he thought he could ever let you go...You were the love of his life. You would remain a burning hole in his heart, forever.

You left six broken men behind you, and unfortunately, for the first time since you entered their life, you couldn’t help any of them getting better. You were gone. They’d never get better.

***************

About three months after your death, Damian came down to the bat cave, a letter in his hand, and tears in his eyes.

It was a letter from you, he found it while sorting some of your stuffs. And, unable to read it out loud, his throat too tight from sadness, he gave it to his father. Bruce took the piece of paper with shaky hands, and, in front of his sons and adopted father, he started reading it :

“Hey guys,

I just wanted to write a quick note, just in case I don’t find time to tell you before...Well. You know before what.

I love all of you. So much. So much it hurts. And I wish I didn’t had to go...But I know that I do. Life is funny like that sometimes.

Alfred, thank you so much for taking care of me, for being the father I never had. When I’m gone, please, keep taking care of my babies...And of Bruce. Don’t let him burry himself in work. Don’t let him go back to his old ways, brooding and sulking all the time. And force him to eat solid food.

Dickie, Jay, Timmy and Dami...I am so SO proud of you all. You’re the funniest, smartest, most amazing, loving, caring...and annoying people I know. I could add more words to describe how perfect you all are, but I fear I’ll run out of time...There’s so much thing to tell about all of you. When I’m gone, don’t give up. Stay strong. I know it’s easy for me to say that, because I won’t be the one suffering...And I know the feeling of loosing someone dear. But you have to keep going. Together. There’s no word in the English langage that can describe how much I love you.

Bruce, my love, you can’t and don’t even imagine how happy you made me. I know you thought you didn’t deserve me, or that you weren’t doing enough...but believe me when I say you’ve never been nothing short of perfect. Your love made me strong, not the opposite. I will always love you, no matter what, and again, I lack words to tell you how much...But know this my love, and please believe me, since that first kiss we shared so many years ago, there hasn’t been a day in my life I regretted my decision. There hasn't been a day in my life I didn’t thank God or whoever is up there for putting you in my life. You’re truly the best man I know. Your parents would be more than proud. And when I’m gone, please, remember the good times we had, drown yourself in them, and don’t jump into that fucking dark well again.

All of you, you’re a family, never forget it. Take care of each others, don’t leave anyone behind, or I’ll come back to haunt your asses...

I’ll see you again, promise

Love (understatement of the year),

Your “Batmom”

PS : my secret ingredient for my chocolat chip cookies is *unreadable scribbles*

PPS : I know it was you who paid for my years at university, Bruce. “

As Bruce raised his head to look at his beloved ones, tears unable to stay away, he softly smiled. You were the best, and you will always be.

You left behind you six broken men who could never feel whole again without you, six broken men who were part of a puzzle where the best piece was missing...But they knew that if they stuck together, one day, not now, probably not before a very long time, they could stand tall and strong again. If they relied on each other, they could make it. Besides, you did promise you’d see them again some day...

The End

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