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#forgive me i haven’t slept
evesmascarade · 2 years
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Suffering sweet like sickness scarred to a laugh, she’s my witness starting to crack. —Oliver Riot
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solaristhespider · 6 months
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Ok so like yall know how during this one scene in good omens S2E4 “The Hitchhiker” Aziraphale goes “it’s Aziraphale” to the other demon guy with like a deep-ish growl to his voice and Crowley like crosses his legs or whatever.
In that moment Crowley was wetter than Julius Caesar as his senate members were stabbing him 23 times.
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local-idiot0 · 1 year
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1 more day…
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Incubus boyfriend who has romance-repulsed days. If you need any kind of romantic affection on those days he talks to you in the most dramatic, flowery fashion possible, because it sounds like it could be romantic, but he’s actually aggressively trying to seduce you. It’s comforting because you think he’s reciting an epic declaration of true love, completely unaware to the fact that he just said “suck me good and hard bbg”
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likeumeanit9497 · 1 month
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the re-do | m.s. |
matt sturniolo x fem!reader
summary: y/n participates in the triplets' "dirty q&a" video, where she accidentally infers that her experience losing her virginity to matt back in high school had been mediocre. instead of taking offence, matt makes it his mission to show her just how much he has improved since then.
warnings: SMUT; established friendship; m/f oral; unprotected p in v; dirty talk; 18+
notes: hi guys! this is my first ever one shot so pls be gentle with me (i'm genuinely so terrified to post this). it has absolutely NOT been proof read forgive me, but i hope you all enjoy <333
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“Guys why am I actually nervous to film this?” Nick proclaimed from his place in the backseat of the car beside me. “No I am genuinely so scared right now.” Replied Chris from the seat in front of me as he began passing out our respective orders from McDonalds.
“We can’t act nervous or else the fans are gonna go even crazier than they already will.” Added Nick as Matt adjusted the camera on the dash. “You’re sure you’re gonna be able to handle the inevitable shit talking that’s gonna come from all this?” Matt asked as he turned to face me in the back. I took a deep breath but nodded. “The more they see me the more desensitized they’ll be. They’ll have to eventually get over it.”
As one of the triplet’s closest girl friends, I had been on the receiving end of a fair amount of hate from their fangirls on the internet. Because I had known them since elementary school, I had been a part of many of their earlier videos when their fans had still been pretty chill about our friendship. But over the past year, a new wave of younger fans had found the videos and had made it their life mission to publicly bash me any chance that they could. It became too much when, a few months ago, one of them decided to spread a rumour that Chris and I had slept together based on nothing other than strategically edited clips of us smiling at each other. It was then that the guys and I had made the decision to keep me as out of the public eye as possible.
However, the guys had sat me down last week to explain how fed up they were with how restricted they felt they had been in their content. They wanted to make an attempt at reclaiming a fandom built primarily of viewers closer to our age, and they thought that the best way to try that was to ignore the petty complaints and make content that they wanted to make. So, since I had been staying with them in Los Angeles for the month, I had agreed to not only be in one of their regular videos, but I had agreed to be in their ‘dirty q&a’ video. I couldn’t lie, I was a bit nervous, but mostly I was excited that my friends were finally confident enough to make videos with more extreme topics.
“Alright guys, ya’ll ready?” Chris asked, intaking a sharp breath while his hand hovered over the record button on the camera. We all responded with a falsely enthusiastic “ready!”, and the camera was turned on.
“Alright, first question,” Nick began after his long-winded introduction filled with disclaimers and explanations for their change in content. “How many people have you slept with?” Already with the first question, it was obvious that the guys were tentative about answering. “Bro I don’t know, next question.” Chris responded, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. “What do you mean by ‘I don’t know’ Chris?” Asked Matt tauntingly. “I mean I haven’t fucking kept track of everyone I’ve slept with.” He responded bluntly, before realizing how bad that had sounded. We all, however, erupted into laughter immediately. “Okay okay it’s not that bad guys I swear, I just have a bad memory is all.” He attempted to remedy his previous answer, but all three of us continued to laugh.
“Matt, how about you?” Asked Nick, to which Matt simply held up five fingers to the camera. “Same with me.” Nick agreed before turning to me. “Y/n? Spill it.” I rolled my eyes before answering truthfully. “Seven.” I shrugged, and I caught Matt’s smiley eyes through the rear view mirror.
“Alright next question is…” Chris was scrolling through the responses to their Instagram threads. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”
“Sixteen” We all responded in unison, and immediately buckled over in laughter. “Not all at once though ya’ll.” Nick explained through his laughter, while mine and Matt’s eyes flew open and Chris’ laugh turned into hysterics. “Well…” Chris began before he was cut short by the three of us telling him to shut up. “I’m definitely gonna have to cut that one out. Sorry you two fools, I kind of set him up there.” Nick rolled his eyes as he looked between Matt and I.
Ironically enough, the fans had been half right in their rumour about Chris and I sleeping together. I had slept with one of the triplets before, but it wasn’t Chris.
When we were sixteen, Matt and I had decided that we wanted to lose our virginities to each other. It had been a no-strings-attached decision, and our friendship thankfully never wavered after it was done. Both Nick and Chris had already lost theirs that same year, and we had both just kind of wanted to get it over with. Obviously, this piece of information was known only by Matt and I, and of course Chris and Nick since they had barged into the room while we were in bed together. Even though the vindictive side of me would love to have the fans know this piece of information and shatter their dreams, I knew that the fallout would be an absolute nightmare.
“Okay let’s see…” I had been handed Nick’s phone to choose a question to answer and was scrolling through my options. “Here’s a simple one. Favourite position? Mine’s speed bump for sure.” I placed the phone down, satisfied with my confident answer, only to be met with multiple pairs of confused eyes. “I beg your pardon? The fuck is speed bump?” Asked Nick as he took his phone back. “The one where you’re kinda just lying flat on your stomach with the guy behind you. Trust me it’s chef’s kiss.” I responded simply. Chris’ facial expression turned from confusion to one of understanding. “Ohhh yeah that’s a good one.” He replied as he dapped me up. “Great, gonna have to edit that out too unless you want the rumours to get really bad again.” Nick said as he rolled his eyes. “Shit, sorry Nick.” Chris said, giggling slightly.
“Let’s just move on.” Matt said as he began scrolling on his own phone. “Best and worst sexual experiences.” He read off of his screen. There was a moment of silence while we all thought of our answers. “I had a girl throw up on my dick once. The problem is I don’t know if that makes it the worst or the best though.” Said Chris, earning a loud groan from each of us. “You’re sick.” Replied Matt, giving his brother a disgusted look.
“I mean I guess the worst sex would probably be my first time right? Like that makes sense right?” Asked Nick in an attempt to steer the conversation away from Chris’ confession, to which I nodded in agreed response without thinking. I caught Matt’s eyes in the rearview mirror again, this time seeing them filled with a pleading expression. Realizing what I had done, I silently prayed to the universe that my action would go unnoticed by the others. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, my head nod didn’t make it past Chris, which was made incredibly clear when he mumbled to Nick behind his hand that was hiding his smiling mouth from the camera.
“Did you see that?” He asked, and Nick looked confused so he continued, “Y/n agreed with you about her first time.” He managed to get out before erupting into laughter at the expense of his brother. Matt threw his hands up in the air once Nick joined Chris in his giggling, and I winced from my place in the backseat; also mouthing an apology to Matt’s reflection in the mirror.
“Bro come on it was my first time! I guarantee you were trash your first time too.” Matt said in an attempt to repair his ego as he threw his empty cup at Chris. “Maybe so, but I don’t have the girl who I lost it to here in the car to confirm it.” Chris snarked back, playfully nudging Matt’s shoulder. “We all gotta start somewhere dude.” He added when Matt didn’t respond. As Nick continued choking on his own laughter, Matt crossed his arms and stared out the window, very clearly wishing he was anywhere but there in that moment.
“Okay okay,” Nick began catching his breath. “We need to cool it because 90% of that what we just filmed is completely unusable. Let’s please just try to make it through this video without exposing Matt and Y/n’s bumpy sexual history again.” He pleaded as he began scrolling through his phone to find new questions.
─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
“God, that was rough.” Said Chris as we all climbed out of the parked car. We had finally finished the video. It took us an hour to film, and would still be edited down to just twenty minutes of content where we weren’t exposing big secrets or directly fuelling past rumours.
“At least it’s done. It might be a while before I ever want to do that again.” Nick responded as he opened the garage door leading into their house. “Agreed.” Added Matt from behind me as we climbed the stairs to the main level. We all walked over to the fridge to grab drinks, as if the beverages would clean our dirty mouths.
“Alright,” Chris began after a hefty chug from his Pepsi, “I’m going to my room. Matt, Nick, get on Fortnite with me.” He began descending the stairs. “I’ll get on once I shower Chris. I have a desperate need to scrub this FILTH off of my body.” Replied Nick, and he began walking towards the stairs leading to his bedroom. “Y/n, come upstairs whenever you want to go to sleep and I’ll get off the game.” He called over his shoulder as he disappeared at the top of the stairs.
Matt and I were left alone in the kitchen, him sitting at the table and me sitting on top of the counter in between the stove and the fridge. Swinging my legs carelessly, I decided to break the silence first. “I’m really sorry about all of that in the car Matt. I didn’t mean it.” He looked up at me and chuckled. “Yes you did, and it’s not a big deal. I know I wasn’t great back then.” He responded before taking a drink from his can. I smiled softly at his response but decided to leave it be. There was no use in trying to deny it. The sex was just boring, short, and awkward; the way that most first times are. At least he didn’t take any offence to it.
“You know,” He began after a few moments of silence, his eyes shooting to mine as he stood up from his place at the kitchen table. “I’ve gotten much better.” A playful smirk travelled to his lips as he began walking towards my frozen figure on the counter. He stopped just a few short centimetres away from me, so close that I could reach out and touch any part of him that I wanted. I couldn’t tell if he was fucking with me, until I felt his early signs of arousal press lightly against my knee.
My throat was dry, and I felt like a deer in headlights. Even though Matt and I had slept together when we were younger, the dynamic was much different than now. The proposition came about awkwardly, and we were a fumbling mess with very little understanding of how it felt to be aroused. But in this moment, I was very very aroused just from this conversation.
In my silence, he placed a firm hand on my hip, rubbing his thumb across it gently. “I can do just about anything. Just let me know how you want it and I can give it to you.” My stomach did a somersault at his words, and I felt my panties dampen. He used his free hand to push my legs apart so that he could stand in between them, and my limp hands subconsciously moved up to grab onto his shoulders. At the first sign of my willingness, Matt quickly leaned forward and peppered soft, teasingly slow kisses along my neck. His lips travelled up to my ear, where he bit the lobe playfully before whispering, “Well, tell me. How do you want me Y/n?”
His words caused me to clench on nothing and I nearly moaned from the anticipation. With him still waiting on my response I whispered back, “You can do anything you want to me, Matty.”
Without missing a beat, he attacked my lips with his own and I melted from the immediate relief. I moved my hands from his shoulders up to the base of his head, and as his tongue danced along with mine I pulled gently at his messy hair; my own mouth filling with a moan falling from his lips. His right hand traveled up my grey hoodie to find that I had nothing on underneath, and he lightly brushed the bottom of my left tit with his thumb. Suddenly his hands moved from under my shirt and gripped my ass as he effortlessly lifted me off the counter and into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he stumbled towards his bedroom.
Once inside the undisturbed room, he placed me down on his desk, my ass hitting the mouse and causing the computer to turn on; casting a light on the otherwise dark room. He wasted no time in removing my hoodie, leaning me back slightly so he could easily twirl his tongue along each nipple. I hummed in pleasure from the warm, wet sensation of his mouth connecting to my skin, and brought my hand down in between our bodies to softly run my hand up and down his clothed hardness. After a few moments, he pushed my hand away and dropped to his knees in between my legs.
Pulling my grey sweats off my body and pushing my thong to the side in one quick motion, Matt took a moment to relish in my swollen, dripping hole. “I don’t remember you being this wet for me last time.” He smirked as he looked up at me with blown out pupils. “Let’s see if you taste the same.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head at his filthy words, and a moan slipped from between my lips as his mouth made sloppy contact with my sensitive bud. I subconsciously grabbed onto the back of his head, suffocating him with my heat as he continued to suck and kiss my clit. As his tongue worked on my nerves, he released a guttural moan that vibrated against my heat, causing my back to arch at the intense feeling.
When we had done this all of those years before, Matt’s movements were lacking in confidence. He had fumbled around my clit blindly, and had ate me out cautiously as if he was afraid of hurting me. Now, this Matt had clearly gained experience, as my stomach was already beginning to fill with the familiar pressure from the build up of an orgasm once I watched him find all of my most sensitive spots; his eyes blissfully closed.
Suddenly, he pulled his mouth away from my heat and I groaned at the loss of contact. He straightened his body back up to my level and brought his face so close to mine that our noses were touching. “Kiss me. I want you to know how good you taste.” He whispered through his glistening bright red lips. More on fire than I had ever been in my life, I immediately attached my open mouth to his, moaning at the distinct taste of my sweet arousal on his tongue. As we deepened the kiss, his fingers found my heat and he ran two of them up and down my folds to collect my wetness before slamming them into my cunt; finding my spongey g-spot on the first pump with his curled fingers.
My head rolled back, lost in the euphoric feeling of his fingers filling me up, and he watched my facial expressions intently as the wet sounds of my upcoming orgasm filled the space between us. “Holy fuck, Matt.” I slurred, my voice coming out choppy as his fingers continued to relentlessly pound into me; never losing contact with that one spot that drove me crazy. “I-I’m gonna-” I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the very beginning of my orgasm roll over my body.
Suddenly, all of his movements stopped and my eyes shot open out of frustration. In the time since my eyes had screwed shut, his own had darkened in arousal. My body trembled from the sudden halt in its pleasure, and he smirked at me. “You want to cum, sweetheart?” He asked, his kind words a harsh paradox to his sinister expression. Still, I nodded eagerly to which he pulled his fingers out of me completely before leaning up and placing his wet mouth right against my ear.
“You’re gonna fucking wait for me.”
I attempted to squeeze my legs together to take some pressure off of my throbbing, unsatisfied core as his vulgar words scrambled my brain, before he pulled me off the desk and pushed my head down so that I was now the one on my knees. Confused, I looked up to find him gazing down at me. He gestured towards his clothed member. “Go ahead.” I grinned slyly.
My turn.
I had made an attempt at giving him head the first time we had sex. Just like him, I had struggled with confidence due to the sole fact that I had no clue what I was doing. Since then, I had had plenty of practice, and I was excited to now be the one to show him my improvements.
I grabbed onto the waist band of his pyjama pants and pulled them down to his knees. With only his tight red boxer shorts covering it now, the outline of his thick cock and the small wet spot at its tip from his pre-cum made my mouth water. I brought my mouth up to the skin on his lower stomach, right above the Calvin Klein logo on his boxers, and began peppering excruciatingly slow kisses along the light sprinkling of hair there. I glanced up at him through my eyelashes to find him peering down at me with curious lust, his mouth open slightly and his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.
After a short while, I grabbed his boxers and pulled them down to meet his pants at his knees. His hardened cock smacked his stomach on its release from the tight material, where it left a wet patch from his pre-cum. Grabbing it with my left hand, I collected a pool of saliva in my mouth and stared up at him as I let it all drip down his swollen member. After pumping my hand for a few strokes, I placed only the tip in my mouth as I watched his eyes dilate. I swirled my tongue teasingly along the swollen tip, tasting the the saltiness of his fluid. Eventually, I began pumping my hand up and down his shaft in rhythm with my head bobbing along the top half of his cock. He shifted on his feet at the new sensation and let his head fall back. I kept my pace agonizingly lazy, knowing that it would drive him crazy.
With my tongue, I licked a strip from the base of his ball sack, up his shaft, and to his tip, earning a hushed whimper from his lethargic mouth before he grabbed my hair and shifted his hips. Looking down at me and holding my head firmly in place, he began thrusting his hips as he kept me still. He started slow, but when he realized that I could take more his pace began to pick up and his cock began to hit deep in my throat. I looked up at him through my tear-filled eyes, and saliva began to drip down my chin. “Fuck you look so good with my cock in your mouth.” He grunted out through each thrust. I lifted my hand to cup his balls, giving them gentle squeezes that seemed to send him towards his climax.
As a moan fell from his lips, he pulled my head back so that his dripping cock sprung free before he got the chance to fill my mouth with his cum. He stood there for a moment with his eyes closed taking deep breaths as if he was fighting the urge to finish right then, before he opened his eyes and gazed down at me. “Get on the bed.”
I pulled myself up off the ground and, on shaky legs, walked over to his bed with him following close behind. Once I reached the edge of the bed he stopped me, turning me around to face him and pushing me down so I would sit. “Put your feet on the bed and pull your knees up to your chest.” He commanded, and I did as I was told, albeit I was a bit confused. “Good girl.” He praised me as he pulled me right up to the edge of the bed before pushing my legs further apart.
Placing one of his knees on the bed beside me, he lined his cock up with my entrance; rubbing it tantalizingly along my wetness. Placing one arm around my waist to brace my body, he slowly pushed his cock inside of me right there on the edge of the bed. His trusts were slow but harsh, and the position he had placed us in made it so that my cervix was barrelled into each time his hips met mine. He placed his sweat-coated forehead against my collar bone and released small breathless grunts with each deep thrust. “So fucking good Matt. Oh god.” I whined as his pace began to increase in speed. He planted his teeth into my shoulder as we fell back onto the bed; his body now completely on top of mine as he continued to drive into me.
He lifted his head and looked fixedly at my fucked out face, his eyes glossed over in erotic pleasure. With this visual, I was brought back to the first time we had fucked, in a position so similar to this one. His rhythm was slower and much more tentative, and we were both certainly much less pleasing to the other, but still I suddenly got hit with a wave of recognition in how much we had both grown since then.
I was pulled out of my trance by Matt’s commanding voice. “Move back real quick and get on your stomach.” I did as I was told, feeling the emptiness that came from his dick sliding out of my soaking wet pussy. Assuming he wanted me in doggy, I got on my knees and arched my back; my head and shoulders pressed firmly against the soft mattress. I felt the bed move as he climbed on all the way, and in a moment of animalistic desperation I pushed my needy cunt subconsciously back to meet heat of his cock.
“No.” He stated simply, his veiny hands massaging my ass. Confused, I looked over my shoulder as I waited for him to explain. He had an ominous smile as he moved his gaze from my fully exposed cunt to my face. “I wanna see if your favourite position is really worth the hype.” He used his hands on my ass to push it down flat to the bed before adjusting himself so that he could line up correctly. Still looking over my shoulder with glazed eyes, I watched his expression as his cock sunk into my core once again. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyelashes fluttered slightly from the new sensation that the position gave him as he bottomed out. “Oh fuck.” His eyes were fully shut now as he stayed still for a moment. Small beads of sweat traveled down his stomach as I took in the beauty of the man who was making me feel so so good.
Getting turned on even more just from Matt’s visual pleasure, my walls clenched subconsciously and I whined, “Please keep going Matty.” His eyes snapped open and landed on mine, before he leaned forward — one hand beside my head and the other planted firmly to the small of my back — and began pounding into me relentlessly.
The depth of this position allowed me to feel every inch of his cock, and it became impossible to keep the moans and strings of profanity from escaping my lips. This seemed to be the case for Matt too, as over the sounds of my own moans and the wet sounds of our bodies connecting, I could hear the gruff throaty moans of his own pleasure. “Fuck. You’re so fucking tight Y/n.” Even though I was aware that we were both making far too much noise that Chris and Nick would definitely hear, I couldn’t get myself to bring it to Matt’s attention, as the animalistic vocalization of his indulgence was bringing me closer and closer to my climax.
“I-I need to cum Matty.” I managed to vocalize as my nerves began to unravel. “Hold it. Want you to cum with me.” He responded, leaning even further forward so that his body was practically lying on top of mine. He took a free hand and wrapped it around my throat, lightly squeezing the sides as my pleasure became dangerously close to bubbling over.
“P-Please cum for me. I can’t hold it anymore.” I begged, digging my nails into his silk bedsheets and feeling my walls quiver each time he drove his cock into my cervix. His breathing became hitched in my ear and his movements became sloppier. Biting my ear, he asked, “Where do you want me to cum, Y/n?”
Without wasting time, I moaned my response. “Cum in me please. Want you to fill me with it.” At that, Matt slammed his twitching cock into me a few more times before finally telling me what I so desperately needed him to.
“Okay sweetheart. Go ahead and make a mess for me.” Even before his words fully left his dirty mouth, I gave into the overbearing pressure in my stomach and felt my intense orgasm over-take me. Practically screaming his name, my pussy convulsed uncontrollably. I felt the immediate relief and heard the gush as I squirted along his cock and down his legs. “Jesus.” He moaned out as his body suddenly stilled. As my legs shook, I could feel his cock twitching inside of me; painting my walls with his cum.
After we both came down from our highs, catching our breath and reconnecting with our minds, Matt slowly pulled his dick — freshly bathed in my own juices — out of my swollen core. With a satisfied sigh, he threw his body onto the bed beside mine. Both of us laid there for a moment, facing one another with glazed over expressions, before a shameless smile crept onto Matt’s face.
“Well you definitely didn’t squirt the last time we slept together.” He chuckled proudly, and I knew his ego had been inflated. I rolled my eyes. “Well, you didn’t whimper the last time we fucked either.” It was my turn to smile as he covered his face bashfully. We laid there in silence for a moment, both of us lethargic and fucked out.
“If that was anything like when ya’ll lost your virginities then I am extremely impressed.”
Matt and I both shot our heads up and looked around the room for the origin of that familiar voice. We were alone, but my eyes focused on the lit-up computer. On the screen, Matt’s Discord was open to the group with Nick and Chris. I turned to look at Matt, who had also clearly made the same discovery that I had, and whispered, “Did you for real leave the channel unmuted?” He tucked his lips together and shrugged apprehensively, before climbing off the bed and over to the computer.
“Chris, how much of that did you hear?” He asked into his headset. I heard a laugh through the mic. “Oh Matt, I heard it all. Good work. I’m a proud brother.” I covered my face in embarrassment as Matt rolled his eyes. “Fuck off. You’re a perv.” He mumbled to his brother, but I caught the small smile that tried to creep to his lips.
“I’m gonna need a fucking lobotomy to get over the trauma that I was just put through.” I heard Nick’s voice now through the mic and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Bro you could have just left the server, you act like I forced you to listen to the entire thing.” Matt argued with his older brother. “You think I stayed and listened to the ENTIRE thing? What are you crazy?” I was full out laughing now, despite the embarrassment. “I left as soon as I figured out what was happening, but I still heard waaaay too much.” Matt laughed now and muted his mic — perhaps a bit too late — then walked back to where I was on the bed, propped up on my forearms.
“Whoops.” He simply said as he pulled his boxers back up. I shook my head and smiled shyly. “We are literally never going to be able to live that down.” I replied as he draped his body along the bed beside me again. Rubbing his eyes awkwardly, he shrugged softly. “Well, at least they’re gonna have to stop teasing me about my skills.” I smacked his arm playfully and he responded by grabbing me swiftly and pulling me to his side.
“You were impressed, weren’t you?” He asked teasingly, as he held me close. I closed my eyes and sighed, “I was, Matt. Really, really, impressed.” He giggled into my neck at my truthful response and I swatted him once again.
“I’m glad we got our re-do. I’d been wanting that for a while.” He said after a moment. I looked at him with a smile and ruffled his hair. “Me too, honestly. I always knew you had some potential in you.” I teased.
“Well, if you don’t want to have to face Nick right now, you’re welcome to sleep in here tonight.” He offered and I sighed in relief. “That would be great, actually.” I said as I began to sit up. “Let’s get cleaned up first though.” He began as he got up and grabbed us both towels from his closet, “You’re not allowed to get under my sheets until you wash my children off your thighs.” My eyes shot open at his disgusting choice of words and I quickly covered myself with my towel. “Matthew Bernard you are sick!” I exclaimed as we both headed towards his bathroom. “Sure am. But so are you.”
He pulled me into a hug while we stood in the bathroom waiting for the shower to warm up. As he rubbed circles on my back with his hand, I sighed. “I think this is the secret to good friendship.” He chuckled before asking, “What is?” Playfully, I smacked his ass over his boxers. “Fucking the shit out of each other once in a while.” He laughed and pulled away from the hug before getting into the shower; leaving the glass door open so that I could follow him. “Shut your weird ass up and get in the shower with me, friend.”
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afieldinengland · 1 year
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sturnioz · 3 months
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‘THIS IS (NOT) EASY’ — MATTHEW STURNIOLO
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pairing. matthew sturniolo x fem!reader genre. smut, fluff, angst
word count. 13.7k
❝being in this friends with benefits relationship with you was not as easy as i thought it would be...❞
content warnings. friends with benefits au, crack humour, explicit content, oral (f & m receiving), fingering, squirting, p in v, unprotected sex (creampies), big dick matt, doggy position, alcohol consumption and mentions of weed, flirty!chris,
—authors note. i've actually written this before but for a different person on another blog. so if you happen to stumble across that somehow and notice the similarities, its me lol. i just liked the plot so much and i wanted to use it for matt.
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“Wait, you what?!”
You gasp out loud, not caring about the loudness of your tone, voice piercing throughout the library alongside the squeaking legs of your chair across the wooden flooring as you abruptly straight up in your seat. 
Other students with their heads shoved in books and laptop screens peek over in curiosity while one irritated classmate leans over the table to shush you angrily, warning you about the volume of your voice but you pay them no mind, gaze fixed on Matt who sits across from you sheepishly.
Matthew Sturniolo—one of the heartthrobs on campus, the quiet and mysterious type that turns curious heads, and undoubtedly the kindest guy in class has been your best friend for the past few years. You met during a practice hockey game where fourteen-year-old Matt had tried to score a goal to impress his brothers and newfound friends, only for the hockey puck to come flying over the glass barrier, hurling straight towards your face and leaving you with a swollen eyeball and a busted up nose.
Matt was unbelievably apologetic, going to extreme lengths by buying candies and ripping up flowers from potted plants to give to you whenever you both crossed paths, begging for your forgiveness over and over again desperately until you socked him in the face, giving him a hefty nosebleed and a bruised cheek in return. 
A toothy grin spread across your cheeks and you finally had accepted the gifts out of his hands, a happy ‘now we’re even!’ leaving your lips as you had ripped open the candies, offering him a treat, offering him your friendship.
The two of you became inseparable and if someone saw one of you, they knew that the other would be trailing along behind them. You were two peas in a pod—the dynamic duo. You were so joined at the hip that when you both enrolled for college, you tried signing up for a dorm on campus, wanting and hoping to be roommates. 
It didn’t happen.
Matt ended up rooming with one of his friends, Tyler, while you got stuck with some girl you didn’t even know but had become acquainted with over a short period of time. 
Still, you and Matt never strayed far from each other even with your roommates in the picture. He sleeps over at your place every now and then, and vice versa. You’re certain that he’s even claimed a whole drawer in your dresser, filled with his spare shirts, sweatpants and underwear.
A lot of your mutual friends, including his brothers, found it suspicious how you two could be so close without anything going on between you both, complaining how the two of you can’t be just friends. It was partially the truth.
You are not just friends, you’re best friends.
“I’m just saying, that you’re complaining about not hooking up with someone for a few days while I haven’t slept with someone for, like, a month,” Matt repeats to you with flushed cheeks, adjusting the black cap on his head with one hand while the other skilfully twirls a pen around his fingers, “Times are hard, kid. I got assignments up to my ass—”
“There’s no way you haven’t hooked up with someone lately,” You hiss through gritted teeth, refusing to believe a word that comes out of his mouth when he’s talking about such nonsense. 
A nearby student from the table next to yours shifts around in their seat in annoyance to look at you, pressing their finger aggressively against their lips to tell you to quiet down and you scoff in response, throwing them the middle finger with your own irritancy and annoyance.
“Can you not?” Matt scolds as his hand firmly wraps around your own, squeezing in warning as he guides it back down to the table. He offers an apologetic smile to the student, and as always, it works like a charm as they shyly smile back and resume their work. Another scoff leaves your lips and Matt turns his attention back to you. “I’m telling you the truth, you know.”
“Bullshit,” You murmur, sending him a glare. “That girl from my study group was over at your dorm last weekend—I saw her Snapchat stories.”
“Dude, we’re both in the same study group. She came over for some of my notes and ended up staying longer because Tyler offered her an ounce of his ‘premium weed’,” Matt explains, adding a sarcastic emphasis around the word ‘premium weed’ which has you snorting, knowing that there was nothing premium about Tyler’s stash. “She eventually ended up staying over and hooking up with Chris anyways.”
Your face contorts into a look of confusion at that, “What? Chris? He isn’t even your roommate.”
“I know. Tyler’s sheets are still in the dryer,” Matt grimaces. “But Nick has had this ‘sex-free’ policy on his and Chris’ dorm ever since that guy screwed him over last weekend.” 
“Oh…” You pause, amused at Nick’s new policy, but then the realisation finally hits you. “So that’s why Tyler didn’t have any sheets on his bed when I came over on Monday.”
“Y—wait, you came over Monday?” Matt snaps his head towards you, eyes narrowing as he jabs his pen in your direction. “Did you fuck in my bed?!”
“No. Of course not,” You gasp, deeply offended by his accusation and Matt lets out a sigh of relief, relaxing his shoulders as he leans back into his chair. “We actually fucked on the couch—”
“Are you fucking kidding me—”
“That’s besides the point!” You cut him off before he can grill you, silencing him by raising your hand in front of his face when he tries to retaliate again. “The fact remains, Matt, is that you haven’t fucked anyone in a whole month. And that’s like… I don’t know, it’s like blasphemy!”
Matt deadpans, his expression devoid of amusement. “I’m pretty sure that’s not blasphemy.”
“Whatever. You know what I mean,” You dismiss, shoving your books and pens as far away from you as you possibly could, no longer interested in studying the endless amount of words on that page now that you’ve discovered your best friend hasn't hooked up with anyone in so long. You sit comfortably in your chair as you fully give him your attention, tucking your legs beneath you. “I can’t believe it…”
“You��re telling me,” Matt huffs, deciding to set aside his own studies too. He rubs his face in frustration, groaning beneath his palms. You console him with a frown, reaching out to rub his shoulder in sympathy. Matt’s hands drop to his lap, and he shoots you a glare, “I can’t believe you didn’t believe me. Why would I lie about something like that?!”
You’re quick to defend yourself, “You fuck more than I do. Of course I'm not gonna believe a word you say when you tell me something like that!” 
And it’s true, Matt does have a higher number of sexual encounters compared to you. His boyish charm and adorable face doesn’t hide the fact that his body count is probably in the twenties, and that his online bank statements are likely to reveal the frequent purchases of packs of condoms (and maybe a few Plan B pills for extra precaution). Matt has always been cautious and responsible, which doesn’t surprise you. He’s not one to take unnecessary risks or potentially impregnate someone, especially a stranger.
“You didn’t have to say it out loud like that…” Matt mutters under his breath, cheeks dusting a slight shade of pink as another student turns around in their seat to glare at the pair of you, but her eyes widen comically as she sees Matt. Shyly, she tucks her hair behind her ears with a kind smile that Matt reciprocates. You lean back in your seat with a roll of your eyes just as Matt brings his attention back to you, “Are we done with this conversation? I’d rather talk about something more interesting than my nonexistent sex life.”
“Fine,” You relent. “Are you going to Nate’s later?”
“No, kid’s got some important hockey meeting or something, so we’re hanging another time,” Matt sighs softly, removing his cap to run his fingers through his hair before readjusting it. “Would you be cool if I came over yours?”
“Sure,” You grin, already shoving your belongings into your bag, eager to leave the library as soon as possible. Matt’s lip curls up in amusement as he follows in suit, packing his own things into his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. 
As you glance over, you notice the girl still staring at Matt and a mischievous smirk forms on your face as you slam your hand on the desk in front of her, capturing her attention.
You jab your thumb in Matt’s direction and you teasingly offer, “If you want his number. I can give it to you. He’s been stuck in a dry spell recently, so—”
Before you can finish your sentence, Matt’s fingers curl around your elbow, yanking you away from the bewildered girl with a huff, “Move.”
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“I’ve been thinking about something…” You break the comfortable silence between you both after a few hours of binge-watching a series and indulging in takeout, dropping your pizza crust into the cardboard box and pushing it aside. Matt sits beside you on the couch, his own pizza in hand, gaze fixed on the TV screen, listening to what the characters are saying.
Matt glances at you with a quick, pointed look as he chews, “That doesn’t sound good.”
“Wow. Funny.” You deadpan with a roll of your eyes and he chuckles under his breath, turning his attention back to the TV screen. “Anyway, and hear me out before you say some dumb shit. I’ve been thinking about something that relates to that little problem we both have, and I may have come up with a way to fix it.”
“Why are you still hung up on this?” Matt complains between mouthfuls. “I don’t want to be constantly reminded that I’m not having sex—”
You quickly raise your hand to hush him and he goes cross eyed to stare at your palm in confusion. “I said hear me out.”
“Fine.”
“Great!“ You exclaim with a grin, “Okay, so, you and I are the best of friends, right? We always help each other out and—”
“Where is this going?”
“Hear. Me. Out.” You warn once more, emphasising each word. Matt sighs, nodding his head for you to continue. “We always help each other out, correct? And there’s no awkwardness between us, which is what also makes us so close. Remember that time we had to make out in front of Jeremy so he would stop hitting on me? And that time I pretended to be your girlfriend so Gracie would get the hint that you didn’t want to sleep with her anymore?”
“Well, yeah, but that didn’t exactly work out because we ended up hooking up with them a few days after it happened—”
“That’s not the point,” You say as you frustratingly rub at your temples. “The point is that we always help each other, no matter what the situation is, because we’re best friends. So, as best friends, I think we should help each other out with our little situation.”
“And how can we help each other out?”
“By fucking each other.”
The second those words leave your mouth, Matt chokes on his food, banging his fist against his chest as he coughs, his eyes watering and face turning red. The sight of his reaction has you cackling, wishing you had your phone nearby to take a picture.
After a few moments, Matt manages to regain his breath, reaching down to grab his bottle of water from the side of the couch and gulping it down almost immediately.
You click your tongue against your teeth, a playful smirk on your face. “That was a little dramatic.”
“And you’re crazy,” Matt shoots back, water droplets trickling down his chin as he looks at you with wide eyes. “Do you realise what you just said?”
You nod your head, “Perfectly.”
“We are not fucking. It’ll be weird,” Matt says, you instantly find offence to that, your jaw dropping in disbelief. Matt rolls his eyes at your reaction. “We’re best friends. Best friends don’t do that type of shit—Stop looking at me like that!”
You huff, turning your head away from him childishly. “I’m just trying to help us out. I don’t think it’ll be weird… people have done weirder.”
“Are you aware of how many friendships have been ruined because they fucked?” Matt questions you and you take a moment to ponder, wincing as you can easily name a few from the top of your head. “Exactly. As much as I find you attractive, I’m not going to ruin our friendship. We’ve been best friends for too long.”
Your head slowly turns back to Matt, who’s already looking at you. A grin spreads across your face as you flirtatiously bat your eyelashes at him, “You think I’m attractive?”
“My god, you’ve un-fucking-believable, I swear…” Matt trails off, muttering under his breath as he rubs at his forehead in frustration. You beam at the thought of getting under his skin, but eventually you roll your eyes and reach over to press your foot into his side, playfully nudging him to bring his attention back to you. 
Matt looks over at you with a deadpan expression and you continue to grin at him, tilting your head to the side as you admire the view.
Truthfully, you’ve always found Matt attractive even if it was in a friendly way and you’d be lying if you said that hooking up with him has never crossed your mind, but that’s mainly because you’re nosy and want to see what all the fuss is about when you constantly hear the girls fawn about what he’s like in bed.
Some say he’s extremely giving, tending to their needs in all ways possible. Some also say he’s demanding and rough, one hand curled into their hair as he’s fucking them from behind, spitting out degrading words into their ears. But you’ve also heard that he sometimes comes across as needy and desperate, begging for his cock to be sucked and to be made a mess out of.
It piques your interest a lot… maybe it’s wrong of you to think that way about someone you know so well, but you’re human after all, sometimes you can’t help the way you think about certain people.
“Look,” You speak up first, letting out a sigh. “What I said was just a suggestion, okay? If you don’t want to do it, then that’s fine—”
“How do you know that it won’t ruin our friendship?” Matt cuts you off and your eyebrows raise in surprise at the question. “We’ve been best friends for, like, six years or something right? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to throw that all away because we messed up and decided to fuck each other just because we’re ‘sex deprived’.”
“We’re not going to get into anything super serious,” You reassure him, crossing your arms over your chest. “Sure, we’re probably going to end up in some type of friends with benefits situation, but we’re not going to include any of that official or exclusive title bullshit. We just hook up for a release when we can’t find it anywhere else, it’s as simple as that. No complications.”
“So…” Matt purses his lips in deep thought. “We can still fuck other people?”
You scoff, “Of course. You think I’d drop Tyler for you that easily?”
“Fuck you.”
Your lips curl into a smirk, “I’m hoping you would.”
Matt stares at you for a brief moment before chuckling, shaking his head as his tongue prods at his cheek. The little action spurs something within you but you remain seated, wanting Matt to be the one to make the first move if he was game in fucking you to help relieve the stress you’re both feeling… maybe Matt a little more considering that you fucked Tyler a few days prior, but you were desperate to be filled again. 
You watch Matt sit in silence for a moment, seemingly deep in his thoughts as his eyebrows knit together, thinking about the pros and cons. His hands come up to pull the cap off of his head completely, his hair messily falling in front of his eyes and your thighs press together as the thought of seeing it between your legs with your fingers threading through the locks. 
You internally laugh at how deluded you sound.
“What time does your roommate get back tonight?” Matt questions you, his low tone bringing you out of your own thoughts and your body buzzes with excitement, fumbling as you reach over to snag your phone off the coffee table to check the time, informing him that she won’t be home for another three hours. “Alright. Good to know.”
“So?” You press, dropping your phone back down as you look at him expectedly. “What’s it going to be?”
Matt takes a deep breath, “No titles.”
“None at all.”
“We can still fuck whoever we want.”
“Whoever, whenever.”
“And most importantly…” Matt pauses with a deep sigh, leaning over the couch closer to you and he holds up his hand, his pinkie outstretched. “We’re still best friends.”
“It’ll be like nothing ever changed.” You promise softly with a smile, curling your pinky finger around his own, squeezing it tightly to keep your promise.
It’s silent between you both for a while, and you can clearly see the cogs turning inside Matt’s head as he thinks about his next move, yet you’re the one that decides to take that initiative.
You rip your hand away from his to throw your arms around his shoulders, fingers buried into his locks as you drag him towards you to eagerly plant your lips on his. You’re surprised at how fast Matt responds to the kiss as his hands come up to cup your cheeks, tilting his head to the side to kiss you deeper, slipping his tongue into your mouth.
The plenty drunken kisses you’ve shared with Matt to help each other out of sticky situations is nothing like the kiss you’re experiencing right now, and it catches you extremely off guard. You were expecting him to allow you to take control of what was happening and lead him through it considering you were the one to bring it up, but with the way Matt’s pushing you backwards to lay you down on the couch and crawling between your open legs with his lips still attached to yours, you’re stumped. 
“Wait,” You stop him, pressing your palm against his chest to push him back and Matt moves away with raw, wet lips, his fingers hovering above the waistband of your shorts. “Why are we doing this on the couch? I have a bed we can use.”
Matt glares down at you, “That didn’t stop you and Tyler from fucking on my couch.”
“Actually, there were no sheets on Tyler’s bed, so—”
“Think of this as payback,” Matt smiles at you sweetly and you snarl, knocking your leg against his side with force and he laughs through clenched teeth, “Besides, you’ve probably fucked a lot of people on this couch… Do you really care?”
You blink up at him. “Are you implying that I’m a slut?”
Matt shrugs, “Maybe, yeah.”
“That’s so hot of you.”
Matt chuckles and leans down to reconnect your lips, fingers unbuttoning your shorts and pulling them down your legs with your underwear, carelessly throwing them somewhere to the side and you hiss at the cold air that hits, yearning for warmth.
Matt’s lips trail down your throat and to the collar of your shirt, nipping and sucking at your skin, heading south to where your thighs shake in anticipation. Your bottom lip catches between your teeth as you watch him shuffling down to lay between your legs, hands pushing against your knees to spread you further apart, the coldness of his rings prickling at your skin.
Your own hand reaches down to thread your fingers through his hair, trying to tug him closer but he barely budges, gazing up at you with his brows knit together.
You whine, “Hurry.”
“Are you always this impatient?”
“Of course,” You look at him like he’s stupid. “We’re both doing this for a reason and it’s to cum, not to take our sweet little time and—Oh shit…”
“Fucking yapping. You talk too much.” Matt drags his tongue through your folds, the pink muscle swirling over your clit and your body jerks in shock at the sensation, a gasp fleeting past your lips as your grip on his hair tightens, feeling his tongue wiggle between your folds and licking upwards to flick over your clit before his fingers tease at your entrance.
Your body goes slack against the couch cushions, mouth stuck open as he eases two digits inside the warmth of your pussy, curling his fingers upwards as his lips wrap around your sensitive clit and you whine, tugging at his hair a little harder which causes him to groan, the vibrations causing goosebumps to shoot up your spine.
You’re in shock at how well Matt actually uses his tongue and fingers. Of course you’ve heard stories from your girl friends and even Matt himself, but you didn’t expect him to be this good and it completely catches you off track, unable to control the noises that rip from the back of your throat when he begins to pump his fingers in and out of your cunt while using his tongue to work wonders on your clit.
“Matt,” You whisper his name with a moan, thighs twitching and closing in around his head. You feel him smirk against your pussy and you squeeze your thighs in warning. “Stop it.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to cum already?” He asks, his tone a little condescending as he raises his head, mouth glistening with your arousal. His fingers continue hitting that spot that has your toes curling and back arching against the cushions. “You can cum, if you want.”
“You’re so fucking cocky,” You tut, fighting the urge to smile but you amusement ends up slipping away and is overcome b y pleasure as he pumps his fingers a few more times, the tightening band in your stomach snapping as you cum all over his fingers, gasping through high pitched whines and trying to control the convulsing movement of your body.
“That’s it,” Matt hums, pressing a quick kiss to your pussy. “Good job.”
You choke out your words, unable to come up with a full sentence as your hand falls limp onto his shoulder, fingers twitching over the material as you breathe heavily. “What the fuck was that?!”
“Me eating you out,” He answers matter-of-factly, a hint of smugness in his tone as he pops his fingers into his mouth to lick them clean. Your mouth drops in shock at the action and he meets your gaze, “You good?”
“Yeah… good.” You nod dumbly, completely astonished at how nonchalant Matt is acting as you watch him tug his sweatpants and boxers down his legs awkwardly when he sits up, eyes automatically zoning in on his cock that slaps against his stomach once freed from its confinements. 
Honestly, you have seen Matt naked. He’s comfortable with stripping in front of you and changing without any thought. But… you’ve never seen Matt hard, and the sight alone is enough to have your mouth watering.
Your best friend is huge.
“Okay,” Matt mumbles to himself, crawling forward and hooking his hands under the back of your knees to pull you closer to him, his thumbs caressing your skin. “Are you sure you’re ready? You know there’s no turning back from this, right?”
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” You grin as you wiggle against him excitedly. “Give me what you got, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me that.” Matt clicks his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head as he slowly eases his cock into you. Slowly, your eyes start to widen at the stretch, the burn obvious in your core and thighs, and your hand flies down to his in hopes to slow down his movements despite him going as slow as he possibly can.
You try to breathe steadily through your nose, lips pressed together tightly as your wince at the uncomfortable ache that spreads, your pussy clamping down on him as if you were trying to prevent him from pushing any further.
“Ow.” You whisper, twisting your hips to try and get comfortable and relax but you wince at each movement you make, causing Matt to raise his gaze from where you’re connected to look into your eyes, his own pooling with concern.
“Are you okay?”
You hum with a curt nod of your head, “Nothing of that significant size has been up there before, you know? I’m just… feeling uncomfortable, that’s all.”
Matt’s lips curl into a grin, “You calling my dick big?”
You send him a hardened glare, “Not as big as your fucking head.”
Matt laughs loudly and he lays his hand flat across your lower stomach as he adjusts himself between your legs, head ducking down slightly to watch himself slowly push into you once more, but the second your legs tense up, he sighs apologetically and strokes your stomach, sliding his cock out of you and you whine at the sudden feeling of emptiness, looking at him with a pout.
“Give me a second, okay?” Matt orders you, gently grabbing your waist to help turn you around on all fours. The brows pinch together at the new position, but your body seems to relax when you feel his hands slide around your back and press down tightly, arching it to hold you in place as you feel his cock at your entrance once more. “This should feel better. But tell me if it hurts? I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
“Just—” You grit your teeth together. “Just fuck me, Matt.”
“You got it.” Matt whispers as he pushes himself back into you again at a slower pace and you gasp, your fingers gripping the arm of the couch, head dropping low to rest on the cushions as you try to control your breathing. The new position was definitely better than the last, but you can still feel him stretch you out to fit you around his cock. “Is my dick really that big?”
“Are you asking because you’re concerned or because you want me to boost your ego?”
Matt smiles, “Maybe both.”
You don’t even get the chance to retaliate with your own snarky comment as Matt fills you up completely, hips pressing to your ass and cry out at how full you’re feeling, unable to think properly as he pulls back, leaving the tip nestled in your cunt before thrusting back in.
Matt curses loudly behind you, fingers digging into your ski as he rocks his hips into you, his thrusts sending your body jerking forwards. You squeeze around his cock and he grunts, changing his pace and you can’t help but fuck youtself back onto him, whining and panting at the pleasure that swirls in the pit of your tummy. 
The lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin is enough to have your eyes rolling back in pleasure, driving you even closer to the edge along with his rapid thrusts and continuous cursing. You’re positive you can even hear him praise you a little bit, muttering about how tight your pussy is. 
You would’ve never guessed he was into such dirty talk. Matt continues to amaze you.
Your pussy clamps around his cock when you feel his hand sneak beneath your body to reach between your thighs, the pads of his fingers rubbing diligent circles on your clit and you mewl, your own hand coming down to latch around his wrist.
“Shit,” You slur your words, drool seeping past the corner of your lips. “So good—fuck, Matt, don’t stop—s’good.”
“You’re funny if you think I’m gonna stop.” Matt chuckles behind you and you can feel the tears build up in your waterline as Matt leans over your body, holding himself up with one hand on the arm of the couch, his other still rubbing circles on your clit. You gasp as how deep he’s nestled within you and it has you seeing stars, your toes curling and your body tensing up as his cock fucks into your cunt, repeatedly hitting that spot over and over before your second orgasm of the night hits you violently. 
Your screams are muffled by the cushions, walls pulsating around his cock as you cum, struggling to hold up your own weight as your body falls limp on the couch. Pleasure buzzes through your veins and it sends you mind whirling as Matt fucks you through it to reach his own high, moving his hand from your clit to rest on your lower back, arching your ass up to fuck you deeper.
“Where do you want me to cum?” He pants heavily, thumb stroking the bottom of your spine. “Fuck—tell me where I can cum.”
“Anywhere you want.” You slur your words, craning your head to the side to look at him, capturing how his eyes widen slightly.
“Anywhere?” Matt repeats as he slows down his movements and you nod your head, only to yelp in shock when he pulls out of you completely and flips your body around once more. You stare at him in surprise as he crawls up your body, resting a hand on your cheek and pulling down your bottom lip with his thumb. “Here?”
You don’t give him a verbal answer, instead you open wide, welcoming him and Matt grins, pushing the head of his cock into your mouth and sighing as your lips close around him, suckling on his tip as he cums in long spurts down your throat, brows knitting together in pleasure and moaning softly as your tongue presses against his slit, swallowing everything he gives you. 
There’s a comfortable silence as Matt removes himself from above you, choosing to drop down in the limited space between your body and the couch, running his fingers through his sweaty hair as he tries to catch his breath.
It takes you a few seconds to comprehend what had just happened, staring between Matt’s naked lower half and yours before you abruptly sit up, rolling onto your knees that pop as you stare down at him incredulously. 
“Matt!” You screech, punching his shoulder with such force that has him wincing. 
“Ow!” He hisses, rubbing the area. “Why—”
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were that good?” You immediately cut him off, not allowing him to finish as you shake your head quickly. “We should’ve done this ages ago!”
Matt rolls his eyes in annoyance despite the grin that spreads across his cheeks as he throws his arm over his face, “Shut up.”
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“Okay, so, let me get this straight,” Nick pauses to chew and swallow his sandwich, pointing between you and Matt on the opposite side of the table. “You two decided to hook up last night because neither of you have hooked up with anyone in a long time, and now you’ve made some sort of deal that when you can’t find release somewhere else, you’ll go to each other?”
“Yeah.”
“What the actual fuck?!” Nick exclaims, looking at you both as if you’ve grown an extra head before abruptly turning to Chris and Tyler who are sitting beside each other silently, watching everything unfold. “Why are you guys saying anything?!”
“I don’t think it’s as bad as you’re making it out to be,” Chris shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly before he turns his attention to you, furrowing his eyebrows. “Although, I am kind of offended you didn’t ask me to fuck you.”
You grimace, “It makes me queasy thinking about where your dick has been, if I’m honest.”
“When was the last time you got tested?” Matt teases his younger triplet, a slight smirk curling at the ends of his lips as he leans back into his chair, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he manspreads. Chris rolls his eyes and retaliates by throwing him the middle finger.
“And you’re okay with this?” Nick questions Tyler who slowly nods his head as he rolls a blunt beneath the table, lips pursed in concentration. 
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tyler questions back, lifting his gaze to Nick and raising a brow before looking back down to his lap. “We just fuck, that’s it. And besides, sometimes I get so faded that I can’t even get my dick up. She needs good dick and I can’t give it to her when I’m that out of it.”
You gasp in awe, reaching across the table to grip his arm. “You are so thoughtful!”
“So I’m the only sane fucking person that thinks this is a stupid idea?” Nick shakes his head in disbelief, biting into his sandwich with a deep sigh. His eyes suddenly widen, a piece of lettuce hanging from his mouth as he erratically pats his pockets. “Where’s Nate? Somebody text Nate right now.”
“Please, you know damn well Nate isn’t going to give a shit,” Chris cackles with a grin, adjusting the beanie on his head. “Pretty sure he fucked his girl best friend last year.”
“Yeah? And where is she now?” Nick looks at all of you expectedly for an answer and you frown, sinking into your seat with your arms crossed over your chest. “Exactly.”
“Come on, kid, it’s not like that…” Matt tries to explain. “We talked about it. We’re not doing any of that exclusive or official title stuff. We’re not making it weird.”
“Meaning we can still hook up with whoever we want.” You add on, eyes flickering over to Tyler and you give him a pretty smile, only for him to look back at you with a smirk and give you a flirtatious wink.
“So, what I’m hearing is,” Chris pauses, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he bats his eyelashes at you. “There’s still a chance for me?”
Nick immediately plugs his ears as he repeatedly mumbles, “I don’t not want to hear this. Stop it immediately. I hate it.”
“Hate what?” Nate’s voice interrupts from behind and you whiz around in your seat, grinning widely as you see Nate approaching your table with his hockey jersey in one hand and his books in the other. 
He greets you all with a smile, placing his belongings down on the table before grabbing an empty chair from another, the metal legs scraping across the floor as he drags it to place beside Matt, slapping his hand down on Matt’s shoulder in greeting as he sits down. 
“What are you talking about anyway?”
“They hooked up,” Nick immediately jumps straight into it as he points at the two of you and you sigh, throwing your head back in frustration. Matt laughs beside you. “And they’re going to continue to hook up whenever they don’t have anyone else to go to, so—”
“Oh, nice man.”
Nick stares at Nate, “No. Not nice. Not nice at all,” Nick shakes his head. “You’re all helpless. Dumb and helpless, every single one of you.”
Nate pulls a face, “I mean, it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be—”
“That’s what I said~” Chris sings.
“And besides, they’re grown adults. They can do whatever they want.” Nate’s words make your brows raise with little surprise, watching as he flips open his book and grabs the pen that rests behind his ear, biting the cap off with his teeth before looking at you. “I’m surprised it took you both this look to actually hook-up… I thought it would’ve happened months ago.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just means I thought you two would’ve fucked months ago.” Nate smiles and shrugs his shoulders innocently, blowing the cap out of his mouth and watching it with his hand before he begins to scribble on the pages. You roll your eyes, glancing over at Matt who shrugs his own shoulders, not fully understanding the meaning of Nate’s words but chooses not to dwell on it any longer as he reaches for his drink, sipping through the straw as he gives his attention to Chris who angles his phone in his direction to show him something you could barely see. 
Nick shakes his head, still in disbelief as he shoves the last remaining bite of his sandwich into his mouth before grabbing his book out of his backpack to take notes alongside Nate. He then comically raises his head up to point his pen at you and Matt.
“Also, just to let you know, I don’t want to hear any complaining from either of you when this whole situationship bullshit ends up going to literal shit,” Nick warns before he slowly turns to the pen to point to himself, “Because I will laugh in your face and simply say, ‘I told you so’.”
A scoff leaves your lips as Matt speaks, “Relax, kid. Everything is going to be fine. Plus, this whole thing could just be a one time thing… It might not even happen again,” Matt turns to look at you. “Right?”
A smile finds its way onto your face as you lean your elbows on the table, chin resting on the palm of your hand as you give him an affirmative nod. “Right.”
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“Fuck, Matt.” You moan out his name repeatedly, back arching off your bed, gripping the pillows resting behind your head with your mouth wide open. Matt’s fingers pump in and out of your pussy, squirting over his hand and splashing onto the bed sheets below you. 
He laughs as you shove your face into the crook of your arm, body trembling and breathing whines slipping past your lips from the overwhelming sensation of him fucking you with his fingers.
Your legs clamp shut around his hand but he’s already prying you back open with the other, holding them down to the bed as his fingers curl upwards, almost bringing you to tears at the pleasure in the pit of your tummy. 
“There we go…” Matt hums softly, milking you for every drop you can give. You quiver and gasp when Matt comes to a stop, the grin on his face evident as he pulls his fingers from your cunt and you whine, struggling to raise your foot and kick him in his side. He captures your ankle in his grasp, drawing circles with his fingertips. “You good?”
“You good?” You mock him, tone nasally. Your arms flop to your side as you take a deep breath, ignoring the way Matt’s laughing at you. “That was intense… I felt like I was going crazy.”
“Thank you,” Matt grins, eyes twinkling as he slips off your bed. “Your need to change your sheets though.”
“Wow. So gentlemanly of you to offer to help.” You mutter sarcastically under your breath, clicking your tongue against your teeth. You stand up from the bed and your knees buckle beneath you, causing you to panic and immediately reach out and grab onto a surface to steady yourself, throwing the middle finger up in Matt’s direction when he chuckles. 
He tells you to go shower while he takes care of the sheets and you immediately oblige, patting his arm in a quick thanks as you wobble out of your bedroom and into the bathroom, eager to clear yourself up after previous activities. 
You take longer than usual to shower, taking your time to scrub your body clean and even wash your hair, not even caring about what Matt could be doing inside your home as he waits for you, but you pause your routine when you actually begin to think about your relationship with Matt. 
It’s been almost three weeks since you started hooking up with Matt, showing up at each other's places whenever you’re in need of sex, getting it over and done with before hanging out properly, before even getting a bite to eat or binge watching a series. 
You still sleep with Tyler. You’ve even fucked Tyler and Matt on the same day. Matt doesn’t care, of course he doesn’t, and personally neither do you. But there have been a few moments where you start to recall the amount of times you had chosen Matt over Tyler… and it was a lot. 
You and Matt are supposed to fuck whenever you have no one else to go to. And yet, give the choice… you still chose Matt. 
A loud call of your name and a fist banging against the bathroom door startles you out of your thoughts, “I need to piss. Hurry up!”
“Just come in!” You yell back at him, frowning as you face the stream of water to let the soap run off your body as you mumble, “It’s not like you haven’t barged in before.”
You hear the door creak open behind the shower curtain and you poke your head around just in time for Matt to unzip his pants to relieve himself, his head tilting back with a sigh of relief. 
His eyes meet yours when he turns his head and his brows knit together, giving you an odd look. “What?”
“Can I ask you a question?” He blinks before giving you a quick nod. ��Are you still fucking other people?”
“Yeah,” That answer relieves you a bit. “I was with Sadie last weekend.”
“I have another question.”
“Why are you—”
“I’m asking the questions,” You cut him off and Matt laughs, nodding for you to continue as he zips up his pants and washes his hands. “Has Sadie, or any other girl, been available on the same day that I’ve been available? Or asked you to come over?”
“Uh…” Matt ponders for a moment, bottom lip poking out his deep thought as he dries his hands on a towel. “Yeah, I think so.”
“And who did you end up choosing?”
“You.”
It shocks you at how fast he answers your question and you grip the shower curtain for support, the slippery floor of the shower almost making you tumblr. He chose you too… is that wrong? You’re uncertain and it makes you feel a little uneasy. Surely there must be a reasonable explanation to why you choose each other instead of fucking other available people.
“Why are you asking me that anyway?”
“Curious,” You answer quickly as you close the curtain to block him out and continue showering, ignoring the way he’s mumbling under his breath how strange you are. “Wait. I have another question.”
“Ask me when you’re down showering.”
“Why?” The tone of your voice turns sultry as you smirk, “Is knowing I’m naked behind this shower curtain turning you on?”
Matt doesn’t answer. Instead, his arm shoots out from behind the curtain, hand curling around the faucet tap to turn the temperature of the water, laughing like a maniac as he hears you scream from the cold water that splashes your skin.
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You hated birthdays.
Actually, you hated your birthday. 
You hated knowing you’re getting older each year, desperately wanting to go back to the ages where all you worried about was not making a fool of yourself in front of someone you had a crush on, or not knowing the biggest high school gossip about who was seeing who behind whoever’s back.
Now, at your growing age, all you worry about is failing college and not being able to get a good enough job to provide a future for yourself.
You wish nobody knew it was your birthday, but having such a close group of groups who knew you better than you knew yourself, it wasn’t going to be easy, and you almost spun around and darted out of campus when you saw Chris twirling a gift bag in hand with helium balloons that spelt out ‘birthday girl!’ in big, bold letters tied to his wrist. 
“There she is!”
You wanted the ground to swallow you up.
“Happy birthday!” Chris yells loudly when you reach their circle, letting your backpack drop to the grass beside Tyler who looks up at you with a dopey smile. Chris shoves the gift bag into your hands when you finally sit down, huffing at the weight of the bag. “I bought you something.”
“I told him not to, I promise,” Nick tells you as he applies chapstick before he leans in close, “But as always, Chris doesn’t fucking listen.”
“And I never will,” Chris grins, untying the strip of balloons from around his wrist to tie them around your own, ignoring the dark glare you give him as he smiles at you cheekily. “Look inside. It’s all the essentials you need.”
“I swear to god, if you—”
“Shh,” He pressed his finger against your lips. “Less talking, more looking.”
You roll your eyes, swatting his finger away from your face before peering into the bag. A soft, genuine laugh leaves your lips when you first see two bottles of your favourite alcoholic beverage and a few chocolates, but you immediately cease all laughter and amusement when you see a pack of condoms and a Plan B box sandwiched between the pair. 
Tyler peeks over your shoulder to drop a pre-rolled joint and a few gummies into the bag for later, but makes a funny noise when he sees the condom pack. He dips his hand inside the bag to pull it out, throwing it back at Chris who fumbles to catch it.
“Hey—”
“She doesn’t use condoms.”
Chris gapes, slowly turning his head towards you with widened eyes. He leans forward, nose brushing against yours as he speaks, “Are you sure you don’t want to fuck me?”
Nick yells and covers his ears, threatening to punch his youngest sibling in the throat as Nate and Tyler snort.
“Positive,” You giggle and pat his cheek, causing him to whine and slump back into his own space in defeat. “I’m thankful for the gifts, but please… you know I hate celebrating my birthday. And were the balloons really necessary too? Did you have to make it more obvious?”
Chris frowns, tugging at the string. “But the balloons are pretty.”
“She doesn’t like balloons, kid.”
Your head whizzes around so quickly you’re positive you could hear it crack at the speed, a grin spreading across your cheeks when you see Matt standing behind you looking at your balloons in disgust. But your eyebrows raise in surprise when you see Sadie standing beside him.
You greet her with a wave and she reciprocates, wishing you a quiet happy birthday which you thank her for and motioning for them both to join you in your circle, but Sadie shakes her head with an apology, announcing that she has to be somewhere else.
You watch as she places her hand on Matt’s bicep, asking if they can meet up later but Matt shakes his head, telling her that he already has plans and her face deflates for a moment before nodding, bidding him and the rest of you a goodbye before leaving. 
Matt lets out a huff as he drops down to the grass, stretching out his legs and knocking his foot against yours, mouthing you a quick happy birthday and you smile in gratitude. 
“Sadie seems to be hanging out with you a lot recently,” Nate points out and Nick nods his head in agreement. “You like her?”
Matt shakes his head, “No. She was just asking me if I wanted to do something this weekend.”
“Are you?”
“No,” Matt mindlessly starts plucking the glass, avoiding everyone's eyes as they zone in on him. “I don’t have the time. Got some assignments to finish for my classes.”
Hearing him say that he hasn’t got the time sparks interest in you, and you begin to wonder if Matt would end up asking you for some well needed release. It excites you, especially when you realise you haven’t been under him or on top of him in a few days and you press your thighs together at the thought of possibly getting dicked down sooner rather than later. 
It’s a birthday gift, you say to yourself when you try to give an excuse to why you’re so needy to be fucked by Matt. It’s just a birthday gift… yet, you have Tyler right beside you, someone who’s easily available and someone who used to be frequent in giving you the best birthday sex of your life.
You could ask Tyler to come over tonight, but why wasn’t the question being asked? Why does it feel like you’re stopping yourself from asking something so simple and easy?
Perhaps you’re so used to sleeping around with Matt that it doesn’t even occur to you to ask someone else anymore. Tyler doesn’t seem bothered, maybe because he’s been getting his fix elsewhere too, so why does it bother you?
A quiet call of your name brings you out of your thoughts and you turn your head towards the source, gazing landing on Matt who is looking back at you with a kind smile. 
He shuffles further into the circle to get closer to you, voice dipping low. “Come home with me later? I have something for you.”
“What is it?” You instantly ask back, excitement evident in your tone. Even though you weren’t the biggest fan of celebrating your birthday and receiving gifts, there was no doubt in your mind that Matt was probably one of the best people to receive gifts from, knowing he usually goes above and beyond to give you the most memorable birthday. 
You smile when you remember the three-day spa voucher he gave you last year when he and his brothers had taken you away for the weekend, it was the most breathtaking cabin you had ever been to. The sunset above the lake was still photographed in your memory, so was the midnight drive he took you on when Chris and Nick were sleeping.
The sights were beautiful, and you were grateful to have seen it with your best friend.
“You’ll find out.” Matt tells you with a smile, refusing to give you a hint of any sort as he turns his attention to Nick to engage in a conversation. You pout, shoulders slumping in defeat and Chris knocks his arm against yours, voice teasing as he whispers in your ear;
“Looks like my gifts will come in handy after all—OW!”
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“This is actually fucking ridiculous.” You giggle as you’re blindingly walking into Matt’s dorm, his hands covering your eyes to prevent you from seeing even though you’ve tried countless times to peek through the gaps between his fingers.
Matt’s chest rumbles against your back as he laughs, waiting for you to toe off your shoes at the entrance before leading you further into the room.
You have the layout completely mapped out in your head from the amount of times you’ve been at his place, already knowing that he’s leading you into the kitchen just by the cold marbling that you feel beneath your feet. 
You almost trip as Matt shoves you down onto a chair and whispers a countdown in your ears before he removes his hands from your face. Your vision is blurry for a moment and you try to adjust to your surroundings with a few blinks, jaw dropping in complete awe as the splotches begin to disperse and you see what’s presented in front of you.
“Are you kidding me?” You whisper softly in astonishment at the gifts that are laid out across the table. You spot a few of your favourite scented candles stacked on top of each other, a bottle of perfume that you were one hundred percent certain that was sitting in your wishlist on an online store you were browsing a few days prior, and a miniature bag with the logo of your favourite jewellery store. 
You feel extremely overwhelmed, the urge to cry becoming harder to keep at bay as your eyes water and string, throat tightening over how thoughtful Matt had been. 
You turn your head towards him with your bottom lip quivering and Matt snickers, pulling a party hat from god knows where and advancing closer to you.
“You asshole…” You insult jokingly, using the sleeves of your shirt to wipe at your eyes, hoping that the tears wouldn’t dare fall as Matt secures the hat on top of your head. You point to it, “Isn’t this a little cheesy?”
Matt rolls his eyes, snapping the elastic band against your chin for extra measure and you hiss at the slight sting it causes, punching his arm in retaliation but he pays no mind, smiling to himself as he turns his back to you for a moment to open the refrigerator door, pulling out a white squared box.
He balances it on the palm of his hand with ease, using his foot to kick the door shut as he makes his way back to you. 
You’re grinning widely at the thought of what could be inside the box, even though you’ve already guessed it’s a cake. Your hands rub together excitingly as Matt places it on the counter and gently slides it over to you, the box still in his grasp as it stops in front of you, drumming his fingers on the cardboard. 
Sensing your eagerness, Matt lifts the lid off of the box and the excitement on your face drops almost instantly, expressionless as you peek inside to see the miniature spongebob themed cake staring back at you.
You raise your head to see Matt already grinning at you, tongue poking at his cheek as he opens up a drawer to retrieve two plastic forks, twiddling them between his fingers.
You deadpan, “Are you sure we’re not celebrating your birthday right now?”
“Be quiet, you like spongebob just as much as I do,” Matt scoffs as he hands over one of the plastic forks and you take it with a smile. You go to cut out a piece for yourself but freeze when Matt makes a weird noise, gazing up at him in alarm. “Wait. Hold on—my god—let me take a photo first.”
You roll your eyes but happily oblige as Matt fishes his phone out of his pocket and angles it towards you. You pose, pointing to the cake with a wide smile, almost blinded by the flash when Matt takes the picture and you immediately rub at your eyes, trying to get rid of the blotches while spitting a few creative curse words that make him giggle.
He quickly takes the opportunity of you being blinded to slide beside you, holding his phone high to take a selfie and you poke out your tongue, using your free hand to cup Matt’s cheeks while he rests his on top of your head. 
Before you have the chance to complain about how hungry you are, you gasp in shock when you feel the coldness of the cake’s frosting rubbed on your cheek and the shutter of the camera goes off when Matt takes another photo, capturing you mid chaos as you dig your fingers into the side of the cake to smush a piece against his own cheek, grinning evilly as the yellow frosting covers his skin. 
“Alright, alright. I deserved that,” Matt sighs with a lighthearted laugh, making sure his phone is tucked away and out of the icing zone. “Makes a good blackmail photo though, don’t you think?”
“If that goes anywhere, I will kill you.”
“You already know that’s going on my Instagram, sweetheart.” Matt teases you and you scoff jokingly, shaking your head as you reach for the napkins that are laying conveniently at the side, trying your best to wipe away the frosting before it drops and stains your clothing. 
Matt manages to clean himself up pretty easily and decides to help you out when he notices you struggling, plucking a spare napkin from the pile and he takes a hold of your jaw, facing your towards him as he gently wipes at your cheek, careful not to rub too hard at your skin. 
You’re suddenly awkward of the close proximity and you grow silent, watching as you cleans you up diligently. The concentrated look on his face is what causes your stomach to whirl and heart bloom with warmth, his eyebrows furrowed and gaze zoned in on the area he needs to clean, tongue licking over his bottom lip.
“Matt…” You call out his name quietly to grab his attention and he pauses, staring right at you. He seems to slowly take notice of how close you both are, taking in the limited space between you both and he goes to remove his hand away from your face but stops himself short with a noise, bringing his hand back to finish the job.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Matt whispers to you once he finally wipes away the frosting from your cheeks, smiling down at you with adoration swirling in his eyes and your breathing gets caught at the back of your throat for a moment at the sudden affectionate gaze, unsure of what to say or even what to do with him looking at you the way he is.
Your hands move up to take the birthday hat off of your head, dropping it to the side carelessly as your arms curl around his shoulders, pulling him into your embrace. Matt’s arms slide around your waist, holding you close to his chest as he hugs you back, burying his face in the crevice of your neck and exhaling deeply.
“I’m so thankful,” You admit, squeezing him tight as the emotions within you struggle to be contained. “For real, Matt. I’m really grateful too… thank you for making this birthday special again.”
“It’s not over yet, you know…” Your hear him mutter in your ear and you go to pull back, to question him on what more he could possibly give to top everything else he’s down for today but he’s already bending his knees, arms falling low to lock around your thighs and throwing you over his shoulder with a huff, smacking his hand roughly against your ass as he carries your giggly self to the bedroom. 
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Friday nights will always be your favourite nights to let loose and party.
Dressing up in your prettiest outfit that makes you feel confident and sexy, decorating your body with the shiniest of jewellery you own and drinking the most intoxicated drink you could find while mingling with your friends.
Talking with your girls face to face after a week of classes had unfailingly lifted your mood, catching up with all the gossip you missed or only briefly discussed over the phone, finally adding your own two cents into situations which they eagerly agree with a nod of their heads, tapping their cups to yours before taking a sip. 
“Speaking of unusual relationships,” Sarah, one of your dearest friends, turns to look at you with a grin, “How's it going with you and Matt? Have things turned awkward yet?”
“Nope,” You shake your head, buzzing happily. “We’re fine. The whole ‘hooking up with your best friend’ culture isn’t as complicated as everyone makes it out to be. Everyone gets dramatic about it for no reason.”
Kendall lets out a heavy sigh, nursing her drink in her hand, “I don’t know how you do it. I can’t even imagine hooking up with Isaac. I mean, he’s attractive, but we’ve seen and know too much about each other to get physical on an intimate level… props to you.”
Anna shifts her gaze to you next, “Do you still fuck Tyler?”
“On occasion,” You admit. “But honestly, I’ve been so wrapped up in assignments—”
“And Matt.”
You give Sarah a smirk, “I haven’t really had the time to call up Tyler and ask him to fuck. He doesn’t mind anyways. He’s been busy smoking and selling weed for some extra cash.”
“What about Matt? Is he still fucking around?”
You pause at that, lips pursing in deep thought before you shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know. I haven’t asked recently if I’m honest.”
Kendall gestures over your shoulder, “Looks like you’re about to find out the answer.”
You crane your neck to follow the direction she’s pointing in, noticing Matt standing near a back wall with a drink in hand, deep in conversation with Sadie who’s smiling, locked on each word he’s speaking to her.
Feeling your eyes on him, Matt looks up to meet your gaze, raising his drink in greeting and you grin, lifting your own cup before he resumes back in conversation.
You take in his appearance with interest; a black fitted tank top paired with some loose fitted jeans and shoes you’re certain he definitely stole from Nick’s closet. The silver chain deer hangs from his neck and silver rings adorn his fingers. You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he looks good.
“Take it easy with the lovey dovey eyes,” Sarah teases, nudging your shoulder to bring your attention back to her and you laugh, tipping your head back to finish the contents of your drink. “He does look good though, so I don’t blame you.”
“When was the last time you fucked Matt?” You direct your question towards Anna who shrugs her shoulders in response. 
“I don’t remember,” She smacks her lips together. “Definitely more than two months ago, that’s for sure… No disrespect to you but god, I miss his cock. How he walks around with that thing completely baffles me.”
Kendall’s eyes widened slightly, “Is Matt’s cock big?”
“Yes.”
You and Anna share a knowing smile and high give each other. You drone out the complaints Kendall makes about wanting to fuck someone with a big cock and how Isaac always sets her up with people who are both shitty in bed and lack personality, you being too focused on looking around the room to find a clear path to get more drinks and you dismiss yourself from your girls for a moment as you spot Nick and Tyler pouring vodka into each others cups.
You bound over to your favourite boys, throwing your arms around their shoulders and startling them with your presence, but Tyler hazily smiles you when he sees it’s you and presses a chaste kiss to your temple as Nick hugs you tight in greeting, offering to fill up your cup which you happily give him.
“Where have you been?” Nick asks you as Tyler takes your hand in his to twirl your around, whistling as he eyes your dress. “You look pretty.”
“Catching up with my girls because I spend way too much time with you guys,” You explain, but cheesily grin at the compliment you received on your outfit. Nick hands you your filled drink and you thank him, taking a quick sip as your eyes glance around the room, “Where’s the rest of the guys?”
“Chris is around here somewhere trying to get laid and Nate is talking to this girl he likes from his classes,” Nick informs you before he laughs. “Matt’s been talking with Sadie for the past hour—-sweet girl is trying to make her move.”
“And why aren’t you showing off your charms tonight?”
Nick’s face immediately drops, “Please. I’m done with boys. All they make me feel is absolute regret and disappointment.”
You smile in sympathy, “You’re looking at the wrong guys.”
“No,” Nick shakes his head. “They’re all the same. Everyone of them. Disgusting.”
You loop your arm around his, tugging him into your side, “What if I introduce you to this guy in my class? He’s tall… handsome… sweet…”
Nick eyes you, clearly interested in what you’re telling him and he holds his head high, “Maybe.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Chris!” You greet him happily as he appears beside Tyler, staring at you all with a confused look but grins when you throw yourself into his arms to hug him tightly, swaying you both back and forth. “I thought you were trying to get laid?”
“I was,” Chris sighs as he pulls away from the hug, but keeps an arm wrapped around your middle. “But she has a boyfriend and he’s, like, scary looking and I didn’t feel like getting nightmares for life.”
You frown, patting his shoulder. “What a shame. The dry spell continues for you.”
Chris leans into your touch, batting his eyelashes prettily at you with a smirk, “You can change that for me if you want.”
Nick fake gags behind you as you smile, “In your dreams.”
Chris sighs jokingly, dropping his head low. “Guess I’ll keep on dreaming then.”
“Dreaming about what?”
The sound of Matt’s voice has you spinning around, beaming happily as your eyes meet his but it falters slightly when you notice the fake smile he’s sporting, wanting to question him and ask him what’s wrong but you bite your tongue, not wanting to bring attention to the subject, knowing it’ll make Matt uncomfortable putting him on the spot. 
You reach out and touch his arm, giving him a comforting squeeze which makes him seem to relax, using your grip on him to tug your into his side and for Chris’ arm to slip from your waist.
“Chris is saying weird ass shit about her again,” Nick fills Matt in, wafting the smoke that Tyler blows in his face teasingly when he takes a hit of his joint. “How’s Sadie?”
“Fine,” Matt replies simply, licking at his lips as he turns to you. “Do you want to get out of here? Just me and you?”
Chris immediately takes offence to that, “What about us? What are you going to do without us?!”
Matt goes to answer but Nick immediately raises his hand, silencing him. “Don’t answer that. Just don’t.”
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You’re in complete bliss with Matt holding himself above you, your back is arched, bare chest pressed to his as he nips and licks at your neck, his hips lazily grinding into yours, cock hitting deeper than he’s ever been.
The pace is slow, something that you’re not used to when it comes to Matt, but you don’t find the voice within you to complain, enjoying it a lot more than you’d admit with your fingers tangled in his hair, cries spilling from your lips with your legs hooked over his waist.
He’s grunting in the crevice of your neck with each deep thrust, one hand caressing the side of your face while the other finds a place beside your head, holding up his weight.
You’re whining from the loss of contact when he moves his head away, missing the feeling of his teeth against your skin, the slight stubble scratching your face and you look up at him pleadingly, but he’s frozen as he stares down at you, despite his hips thrusting automatically into you. 
“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so pretty…” You barely hear him mumble and your heart pounds against your ribcage at the complement, body feeling more heated and warm.
“Matt—”
He cuts off your words by planting his lips on yours with the most sweetest and softest kiss he’s ever given you, and you melt into the touch, fingers untangling from his hair to cup his cheeks in your palms, gasping through the kiss as Matt's cock cock slowly pulls out of your pussy before pushing back in, sending a shrill up your spine. 
The band in your tummy tightens with each slow but powerful thrust he gives you, thighs shaking around his frame, unable to keep up with his kisses as your mouth falls open with short gasps and whines, white specks flickering in your vision as your feel yourself inching closer and closer over the edge.
“Cum,” Matt whispers, breath fanning over your face as he pants, “Do it. Cum on my cock.”
You wail as the band snaps, orgasm crashing down on you violently. Your body convulses, pussy squeezing around his cock, keeping him buried deep which has him moaning, his own hips stuttering as he cums. You feel him pulse inside you, filling you up with everything he gives.
Matt’s head slumps down on your shoulder as you try to steady your breathing, wincing as you feel him slowly move his hips back to pull his cock out of your sensitive cunt, your hand falling from his face to drop down at your pussy, gathering his cum that pools out onto your fingers.
“I’m sorry,” Matt apologises against your skin, “I’m sorry, I—shit. I should’ve asked if I could—fuck. I got too overwhelmed. I’m sorry.”
“It’s kind of cute that you’re apologising,” You admit, gently pushing him off of your body to sit upright. “But you don’t need to apologise… this isn’t the first time you came inside me, Matt.”
“I know,” Matt runs his fingers through his sweaty hair. “I usually ask...”
“Matt. It’s fine,” You reassured him, placing your palm on his bicep. “I’ll forgive you a thousand times more if you help clean me up though.”
Matt smiles and nods his head as he slips off the bed, disappearing out of the room for a moment and returning with a wet towel. He sits between your parted legs, gently cleaning up the mess, whispering apologies and apologies every time you wince when he presses down on sensitive areas, thighs closing around his hand which he carefully pries open to resume his job. 
You sit in silence, watching him, frowning at the troubled look you see on his face, not used to seeing Matt being so closed off with his feelings and emotions, especially towards you. He hasn’t been open and honest with you in the past few weeks, he hasn’t come to you and asked for your reassurance or help. 
It makes you feel a little bit defeated. 
Something is different, and you struggle to pinpoint what it is.
The questions lay on the tip of your tongue, desperate to be brought to light and asked, and even more desperate to get the answers you’ve been craving. Your relationship with Matt has changed since the proposition you’ve made about sleeping together, but he’s still your best friend.
“What’s going on?” You finally ask and Matt freezes, fingers clutching the wet towel in his grasp tightly. “And please don’t lie to me… I can tell when you’re being truthful or not—”
“What am I to you?” Matt suddenly asks and you’re a little thrown off at your question being answered with his own question. He takes his hand away completely as you blink at him, feeling confused. “Even with all this going on… what am I to you?”
“You’re my best friend?”
Matt seems to frown deeply at that, “So nothing has changed? At all? Even with us sleeping together? I’m still your best friend?”
“Wh—of course!” You’re baffled, assuming that with the way Matt is speaking about your situationship, that he is worried that you have gained some negative feelings towards him. It hurts you, and you’re eager to reassure him, to let him know that everything is okay. “Matt, you’ll always be my best friend. We promised nothing would change, right? I’m keeping that promise.”
Matt closes his eyes as his shoulders sink in defeat, “I…” He drops his head with a sigh. “I can’t do this anymore.”
You bring your knees up to your chest, “Do what?”
“This,” He gestures between the two of you. “I just… I can’t. Not anymore. I can’t continue sleeping with you.”
“Oh.” You swallow thickly, feeling something heavy weighing in your throat. “Why?”
“Things have changed,” His voice is quieter now and it makes your heart shatter at the tone. Does he hate you? “I can’t continue whatever this is and be your best friend at the same time, it has to stop. It—” Matt sighs, rubbing at his forehead. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” You mutter as your chin rests on your knees, hugging your legs closer to your chest to cover your modesty. You refuse to even look at him now, finding interest in the sheets below you as your throat tightens up more, feeling sick at the thought of him hating you so much that he can’t even continue sleeping with you. “I’m sorry too. I don’t know what I did to make you hate me, but I—”
“Wait what?”
“—I’m just so sorry. Especially if I came across too forward and for putting you in such a position, I know you were so hesitant about this in the direct place.” You’re babbling now, unable to take control of yourself due to the overwhelming feeling that washed over you. “I’m so fucking sorry, Matt.”
“Wait… I don’t—”
“Can we not tell the others right now?” You raise your head to meet his eyes this time. He’s looking straight at you, confusion and disbelief swimming in his irises but you ignore it, chewing the inner skin of your cheek. “Mostly Nick. I don’t really want to hear him laugh in our faces and give us the whole ‘I told you so’ speech he threatened us with at the start.”
Matt calls out your name and extends his hand to touch you, but you’re already climbing off of the bed, searching around for your underwear and dress that was thrown across the room earlier.
You’re too embarrassed to continue on with the conversation, to ask him what exactly you did to make him grow to hate you so suddenly. Truthfully, you didn’t really want to dwell on it too much, the pain of losing someone like Matt already making your heart ache. 
You just wanted to go home—to be in the comfort of your own bed and curse yourself out, and probably cry to the point you might just forget everything that just happened. You are feeling a little teary, but you wouldn’t dare cry in front of Matt right now. 
“I’ll, uh, see you around or something,” You sniffle, shoving the heels onto your feet and casting one final look his way. “I’m sorry.”
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It’s been almost two weeks since your last encounter with Matt.
You shouldn’t be avoiding him like you are. It’s childish, you know that. But you can’t force yourself to face someone who used to be your best friend and now seemingly hates your guts.
Maybe you should’ve waited a few more minutes, to give him enough time to explain the entire situation and how he was feeling but you were selfish, you didn’t want to hear him explain in full detail what you had done to make him change his feelings towards you so negatively. 
You miss him. Of course you miss him. For years he’s been your best friend—your other half, more like. There was no you without Matt and vice versa. You weren’t exactly sure on how you could continue moving on without Matt by your side, as dramatic as it sounds… but you’ve always been a little dramatic. 
His brothers, Nate and Tyler have been blowing up your phone—-courtesy of you ignoring them too, not wanting to hear Nick rub it in your face on how the ‘friends with benefits bullshit’ you had with Matt actually did go to shit. You also didn’t want to hear the others continuously ask questions about what happened and what had changed. 
Even your roommate, someone who keeps herself out of your business and hardly ever bothers you, had cornered you one morning at breakfast, asking why you looked so glum and why the ‘shirtless and tattooed Boston fuckboy’ wasn’t joining you both anymore.
You’re not the type to let anyone know your worries, so you’re surprised when you find yourself explaining to your roommate about what happened in full detail.
She gave you an unimpressed look, calling you a little stupid for not staying behind and listening despite you letting it be known that you couldn’t bear to listen to why his feelings turned negative towards you. Your face twisted and turned, offended by her harsh words but you allowed yourself to let her talk and not interrupt even though you desperately wanted to.
“You jumped to your own conclusion,” She told you when she was collecting the dishes. “You know, for two close best friends who talk to each other every second of the day, you have some major miscommunication issues.”
So, that’s what leads you to now; you sitting alone in the living room with your phone in hand, staring down at yours and Matt’s chat with your thumb between your teeth, biting down on the skin anxiously as you try to figure out how to start a conversation, to let him know you’re ready to listen.
from you: i think we should talk….
from matt: good because im almost at your house anyway. I had to go get something.
from you: ???? u coming over
from matt: yes from matt: i was going to make you listen to me from matt: its kinda important kid. 
You snort at his message, sending a quick thumbs up emoji before throwing your phone to the side, awaiting his arrival. Your leg nervously shakes in the corner of your vision and your eyebrows knit together, placing your hand down on your knee and squeezing tight.
As if that will stop you from being nervous. 
You’re about to hear the reasoning behind why Matt's feelings had changed for you so negatively, nothing can prepare you for it. 
Just bite the bullet. Take it like a champ.
The rapid knocking on the door rips you out of your thoughts and your head slowly turns with a confused look sketched upon your features. Was that Matt? Matt never knocks—he freely walks in like it’s his own place usually, always making himself at home.
You push yourself up from the couch and make your way towards the front door, taking a peek through the peephole to see Matt’s form, teeth nibbling at his bottom lip with his hands behind his back, swaying back and forth nervously. You grow even more confused and concerned, pulling open your door to face him fully.
“Why did you knock—”
“Hate you?!” Matt suddenly cuts you off with a shout, startling you with the loudness of his tone. His eyes are wide as he stares at you, full of disbelief. “Hate you, I—fuck—how could I hate you?! I’d never hate you… god, you’re so frustrating sometimes.”
Your lips quirk upwards, “Nice to see you too?”
“I don’t hate you. At all. When I told you that things have changed, I didn’t mean anything bad by it… I pretty much meant the opposite…” Matt’s words trail off and before you can even get the chance to ask him to explain exactly what he means, air gets caught at the back of your throat and you struggle to speak as he pulls his hands from behind his back; a bag of candy in one and a handful of ripped up flowers in the other. Your heart thumps rapidly. “I’m going to tell you something and I just… I need you to listen to me.”
You barely whisper, “Okay.”
“Being in this friends with benefits relationship with you was not as easy as I thought it would be,” Matt tells you, his honesty making you pull your attention away from the gifts in his hands to meet his gaze. “We promised each other that we’re not going to involve any titles to make it complicated for us… yet here I am, standing in front of you with the same candy and flowers in my hand from when we first met, about to confess my fucking feelings to you, I’m so—”
“You’re rambling.” You cut him off, a smile creeping onto your lips.
“Yeah, of course I am,” Matt laughs at himself, shaking his head as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck before he straightens out, keeping his eyes on yours. “I fell for you. Hard. I think I sort of realised it on your birthday but I didn’t want to say anything just in case whatever I was feeling wasn’t what I thought it was… but when we were at that party and I saw you from across the room, talking with your friends, I realised how much I actually do fucking like you and that it wasn’t just my dick talking.”
You snort as you repeat, “Dick talking.”
“Shut up,” Matt smiles at you, his own laugh fleeting past his lips before he sighs, “I like you. I’m falling in love with you, and I get it if you want to reject me because of how fucking weird this whole thing turned out… but I would actually like to continue being with you, not just as a best friend but as your boyfriend.”
You’re too busy repeating his confession in your head to notice that Matt is waiting for an answer, bottom lips tucked between his teeth as he bites down nervously, visibly shaking out of excitement or fear due to the fact he just confessed his entire feelings—you weren’t sure which one was right.
The silence from you kills Matt and his face drops when you step forward to quietly take the flowers and candies out of his hands, taking a step back inside your house. His shoulders slump in defeat, taking your nonverbal response as a rejection to his proposal of him being your boyfriend.
He goes to turn around, to get the fuck off your doorstep and drive home, hoping that the intense embarrassment he feels coursing through his veins is enough to make him disappear.
But he freezes mid escape when he hears the rustling of you ripping open the pack of candies, spinning around to see you looking at him with the prettiest smile.
He watches, heart thumping wildly, stomach fluttering with nervousness and excitement as you extend your arm out, angling the bag in his direction and a grin spreads across his face, unable to control the happiness that bursts from within.
You’re giving him a treat, you’ve giving him a relationship.
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©sturnioz
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hongism · 6 months
Text
what lies beneath us. - c. san (m)
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➼ genre; fluff, smut, slight angst for the first half but i make it better quickly promise ➼ pairing; san x afab!reader ➼ au; established relationship, college au ➼ warnings; explicit smut ➼ rating; m/18+ ➼ wc; 6.4k
one busy semester is all it took for you and san to find yourselves struggling to find footing in the storm that is your relationship, yet rather than let go, he asked for one more week, one more day, one last chance to help get you back to shore
part of the ...and it's snowing collab.
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➼ smut warnings; unprotected sex, oral: m, vaginal fingering, praise, body worship, service-top san, san has some slightly submissive tendencies, coming inside
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You normally wouldn’t find yourself in Wooyoung’s apartment on a Tuesday morning, sitting at the bar counter beside his roommate with two mugs of coffee sitting on the granite between you, but you also haven’t had any leisure time to waste lately. It’s a miracle that Wooyoung is even up before ten o’clock, though that might be in part due to you pleading desperately over the phone to come over.
“Oh, you make her coffee but not me? The fuck is up with that, Hwa?” Speak of the devil, Wooyoung comes into the kitchen still rubbing sleep from his eyes.
“She’s a guest, you live here. And I had to wake you up because you slept through three alarms so my sympathy levels are close to zero right now.” Seonghwa flashes a faux shrug despite the heated glare he’s sent. Wooyoung lets out a huff but lets it go in favor of redirecting his attention to you.
“Right, well, what did you need to talk about so badly that it couldn’t wait until the afternoon?”
“San is coming over tonight, I couldn't do the afternoon,” you mumble.
“Is it about him then? Did something—” he waves a hand through the air like that’ll explain his thoughts, and when confusion shows on both your face and Seonghwa’s, he gives up “—did something happen between you guys?”
“It feels a bit awkward,” you admit over the rim of your coffee mug. Wooyoung scoffs at that, but Seonghwa is far more forgiving than your best friend in that he sends you a sympathetic grin. 
“Awkward?” he prompts, toying with his own drink. Wooyoung pushes away from the counter and turns to the coffee maker.
“I don't know. Yeah, awkward, a bit. I guess. Like we don't know what we're doing or how to be in a relationship anymore.”
The brutal semester you both just suffered has been the main factor in the wedge in your relationship. Weekends full of studying, ones that you spent together at the start of the semester when he would come to your place or vice versa so that you could be together even while working. Then, San started picking up more shifts at his part-time job, and you had to redirect your focus to a particularly important internship that required you to forgo those weekends in the blink of an eye. You did have two weekends free of school and work, but San had to rush home during one of those on account of his mother falling ill. The other one was shot by you falling ill with the worst cold you’ve known in all your years of living. San came by that Friday with your favorite chicken and beer, but you couldn’t bring yourself to risk getting him sick when you knew how important the semester was to him too. It didn’t keep him from coming by again Saturday and Sunday both, soup was delivered to your front door along with voice messages wishing you well throughout the night. Even your text conversations were fizzling into oblivion by the time finals rolled around, which only served to amplify your feelings of dread. 
“Has he been acting differently?” Wooyoung tunes back into the conversation, this time more serious with his tone. “Like, he's pulling away or something?” Wooyoung stands on a different footing in this conversation and knows things Seonghwa doesn't in terms of your relationship with San. He's been there for you since well before you started dating San, and you're certain that he'll be there for you if it were to end tomorrow, the next day, or years down the line. 
“It's gonna sound so childish and stupid but he hasn't been calling me nicknames since the semester ended.” You tuck your hands into your lap and shrink into yourself a little, feeling the hot burn of shame well up inside.
“That's not stupid at all, y/n,” Seonghwa reassures barely a second after you finish your train of thought. “That's not.”
“He's right. That's totally unlike San.”
“Not! Helping!”
“I'm just being honest?!”
“Look, y/n, I don't want you to start having doom thoughts or thinking the worst — that doesn't mean his feelings for you have changed.” You’re starting to think that you should’ve asked Seonghwa for advice from the start instead of Wooyoung. “Maybe he's feeling that awkwardness you are too, or maybe he's feeling insecure. The only way to know is to ask. Have an open and honest conversation about it.”
“But…” You glance past Seonghwa to look at Wooyoung's back. Without even needing to look back, he seems to feel the weight of your stare.
“You're scared that if you bring it up, the worst will happen and y'all will break up.”
“We've been dating for so long that I don't know what I would do if that happened. I don't know how to be single, no offense to either of you, but it's just that we've been together for so long now. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if it ended.”
“If…” Wooyoung bites his words back as though he's unsure of how they will come out. “I don't want this to sound harsh, but if all it takes for him to lose his feelings for you is one busy semester, then that's not someone I would want you to have a future with. I know it's not up to me and it's not my business, but I want you to value yourself more than you value your relationship with San.”
“I truly don't think he's lost his feelings for you, y/n,” Seonghwa cuts in again, hand darting out across the counter in your direction. “Woo is right; you should value yourself more than the relationship you're in, but that doesn't mean you can only have one of those things. They can coexist.”
“What if I’m fighting for something he doesn’t want any longer?” you inquire softly and under your breath.
“The spark isn’t gone, y/n, I’m certain of that much. Maybe you just… need to find a way to reignite it!” The coffee maker dings loudly behind Wooyoung. And like it’s turning on a lightbulb in Wooyoung’s head, his expression turns suddenly bright. “Why not do just that? It’s been half a decade, to be fair, so really you can’t be blamed if things feel a little stale. If you went and did things that made you fall for each other in the first place, wouldn’t that help a bit?”
“I hate to say it…”
“You always say that when I’m right!”
“Ignoring him, that does sound like a good plan, y/n.”
Despite the reassurance from both your best friend and someone you consider to be far more mature and wiser, it doesn’t fully quell the concerns settling in your gut.
It’s only been six days since you last saw San, though you would argue that it feels a lot more like six months given how absent you both have been from each other’s lives of late. While that isn’t particularly your fault or his wholly — it’s definitely a joint effort that’s kept you apart — it does make your skin itch with anxiety every time you think about seeing him again.
It’s all culminated into this moment right now, where you sit on the edge of your couch waiting for the doorbell to ring and announce his arrival. You want to see him, desperately so, you’ve missed him so incredibly much that you can hardly stand it. And yet — you’re rooted to the cushions riddled by anxieties. You tried to rid yourself of the lingering stress after leaving Wooyoung’s apartment by doing chores properly for the first time in months, going so far as to run to the grocery and restock some necessities as well. You hate to be the type of partner who cannot do anything alone without associating it with your partner, but San was on your mind throughout the day.
Will he feel the same as you even though the flame keeping your relationship alive has been inching closer and closer to nothingness? The two of you don’t fight, in fact, your friends like to say that things go a little too smoothly between you two, and while that’s true, they aren’t aware of what it looks like when you and San aren’t getting along. It looks the way this semester has, slow conversations that lead nowhere and less time spent in each other’s presence. You aren’t fighting right now, but you certainly aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. The weather mirrors your emotions — dim greys shrouded by white flurries of snow that have been falling since early afternoon.
You clench your fingers around the seam of the couch cushion. No part of you wants to play the part of the overbearing partner: if you’re too eager to see him, wouldn’t he find it off-putting? 
The doorbell rings.
It takes a moment for you to brace yourself for impact, standing and walking over to the door as slowly as you can manage without it seeming like a deliberate delay. The second you open the door, however, your worries melt away for a moment. 
San smiles so brightly like you’ve not gone a second without reveling in each other’s presence. The weather is clinging to his coat still even though he had to climb three flights of stairs to reach your door. The little snowflakes are beginning to melt into the fabric.
“May I come in?” The facade cracks a bit. It’s not like him to ask such things, but you choose not to hold it against him now.
“Yeah, yeah, I finally had time to clean the other day so everything’s — nice.” 
If your smile is strained, he says nothing about it, stepping over the threshold and into your apartment like it’s the first time he’s ever done so. He’s polite all the time, but now it makes those seeds of doubt sprout further because you’ve been together for five years now, what reason does he have to act like a stranger in your home? A home he’s been in time and time again, one he’s slept in, fucked you— 
“Do you want ramen or pizza?” You force the thoughts to come to a halt before your expression turns bitter.
“Let’s do ramen, I’ll cut up the vegetables for you.”
There’s an elephant in the room that it seems neither of you wants to address, and so you keep your mouth shut just the same as San with the thought of “maybe this awkwardness will pass after tonight”. You watch him remove his coat and hang it up on the door while still picking at your nails. He extends a hand to you, one you take eagerly, and you lace your fingers through the gaps between his. A bit like a well-oiled machine, you think, something that Wooyoung had noted about the two of you as far back as freshman year of college. San presses his lips to the top of your head. You lean into the touch ever so slightly. 
You share in a quiet synergy that carries you through the motions of preparing food, with no conversation exchanged aside from a “watch for the knife” and “careful, behind you” on occasion. You’re still trying to psyche yourself up to bring up what’s truly on your mind, so you aren’t sure that you’d be able to get any conversation out without it spiraling into insanity right off the bat. For the moment, for now, you want to simply drink in San’s presence. 
He hums as he opens a cabinet in search of bowls, but they aren’t there. 
“Oh, I—I moved the bowls to the other side.” Three months ago, your mind adds. It would do nothing but add salt to a blossoming wound. San stops dead in his tracks too. He seems to suffer the same crisis that you do right then. After a few seconds of mental buffering, he resumes his humming and shifts to the adjacent cabinet like the moment didn’t happen at all. 
You sit beside each other at the bar counter, atop the uncomfortable stools you’ve had for well over two years now, but it offers a weird comfort because it’s familiar, it’s something San knows, it’s something you share and have shared for years. 
“Thanks for the meal,” San says, still wearing a bitten-back smile. 
“Of course. Thank you for helping.” But the detrimental reality of not speaking to someone properly for a long while is that part of you forgets how to make conversation with them. There is nothing for you and San to “catch up on” seeing as you’ve been keeping each other updated on your lives through dry text conversations. “Um…” He’s eyeing you carefully now, and you could pass off the watering in your eyes as the spice of the food, but he would call your bluff in an instant. The funny thing about doubt is that once it’s taken root, it’ll keep growing back no matter how many times you chop at the stem.
“What’s wrong, y/n?”
“It’s just — I don’t — are we breaking up?”
San freezes halfway over his ramen, chopsticks nearly falling from his fingers as he rushes to put his noodles back down. Your shoulders start shaking before you can stop it. He doesn’t stop you from turning away from him, but San has always been endlessly patient and gentle with you so you don’t expect him to ask you to look at him anyway. He does rest a hand atop your forearm though, and his thumb drags small, comforting circles over your skin. 
“Talk to me, y/n, what do you mean by that? Why would we be breaking up?” The words themselves sound calm. There’s a slight quiver to his tone, however, that makes you want to crawl inside yourself and disappear. “A-Are you wanting that?” Your continued lack of response makes San more urgent than ever, and he shifts his hand to your leg, spinning you to face him. You can’t be certain of the expression on your face (though you’d wager there is some degree of hurt); whatever San sees makes him let out a distressed noise from the back of his throat. “Come here, duck, talk to me.”
Standing on somewhat shaky legs, you push yourself closer to San, and he instinctually moves his knees apart to let you tuck yourself into the space there.
“Don’t cry, baby, I’m here, you can talk to me,” he murmurs, hands cupping your face in his hands. You reach down to cling to his shirt like it’s a lifeline. 
“That’s the first time you’ve called me that in weeks. This is the first time we’ve spent time together in six days. We’ve barely spoken or spent time together all semester, and I know why — I know we agreed that school and work have to come first. I know that.” Your voice drops to a whisper as you lose the confidence to speak. “I didn’t think it would mean losing you though.”
“You haven’t lost me, y/n. I’m still here, with you, loving you just as much as ever.” San smiles a little as you push your cheek further into his palm. “My feelings have not changed. I thought about you every day, wondered how you were doing, and if you responded to my texts late, I hoped you were eating well and getting enough rest. I listened to your voice memos rooting for me every night. Your face was always the first thing I saw in the morning because I still keep that slideshow of you as my lockscreen.” Reaching around to the back of your neck, he gives you a little tug, and your foreheads bump together. “The thought of you helped get me through the semester because I knew that it was you who was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.”
“Sannie…”
“How long have you been worried over this, baby? You should’ve come to me the moment you started having doubts. I wouldn’t have let this go on if I had known.”
“I thought I felt you pulling away so I was scared to bring it up. You weren’t calling me nicknames anymore, and I started reading into it too much and freaked myself out.”
“I’m so sorry, y/n. Don’t put the blame on yourself, it’s not a crime to have anxieties. I didn’t even realize I stopped using them. I suppose I just got swept up in my own feelings and wanted to call you by your name as much as possible.” He nudges you with his head again. “Because I missed you so dearly.” Your lips turn up at the corners, a gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed by your boyfriend. “And because I adore you so so much, my y/n.”
“Stop that.” You hope he doesn’t, truly.
“But I’m so mushy and full of love for you, y/n.”
“You’re gonna make me blush.”
“Oh, I can think of other ways to do that, baby.” San stands, subsequently pushing his body into yours, but your hands are still on each other, his moving down to caress the back of your thigh before he hooks his fingers around the bend of your knee and hoists your leg up over his hip. “I haven’t been good to you, my sweet,” he murmurs close to your lips. “What kind of boyfriend am I if I let you feel unwanted?” Your heart skips a beat as he grips tight at your other leg, then you’re suddenly weightless for a second as he hoists you up to his waist.
“We just ate—”
“I don’t plan on letting that stop me.” You let out a gasp as San traces the line of your jaw with his lips, hot breath spilling across your skin as he carries you from the kitchen. “Unless you want it to?” This damned man knows what he’s doing, he knows the hold he has over you — your brain is already turning into a foggy mess of want, and even the prospect of waiting two minutes for him to lay his hands on you is too much to bear. Your nails drag across his shoulders, tugging at the thin material. He misses the doorknob to your bedroom thanks to your antics, sending you against the wood a little harshly and forcing the air out of your lungs. “Sorry, sorry.”
“Still on the pill.”
“Hm?” he echoes, managing to turn it right on the second try and popping it open properly.
“I’m still on the pill,” you repeat. San freezes in place to stare at your face. You bring a hand around to toy at his parted lips with your thumb. “So you can fuck me raw.”
San becomes so dumbstruck that his jaw moves up and down over and over without any semblance of noise coming out.
“Fuck, you’re gonna make me come in my pants like a horny teenager,” he says under his breath. You drop your head back and laugh. San’s hold on you feels so blissfully warm. You didn’t even have time for this during the semester, sometimes thanks to your workloads but more often thanks to sheer exhaustion. A few solo jaunts before bed are hardly enough to please you the way San does. Based on how tightly he’s gripping your ass, he seems to feel exactly the same.
“It wouldn’t be the first time.”
He manages to get you both to the bed without further incident, laying you down on the mattress with a sort of reverence that makes your chest swell with emotion. Even through the barrier of clothing, his fingers are hot and sear a path from your hips up your waist then right back down again as San wastes no time in stripping you of your pants. 
“I missed you so fucking much it’s insane.” You want to respond, but the sight of your lover dropping to his knees at the foot of the bed stops you in your tracks. All you can do is lie there and watch him tug your pants off, lips moving to kiss each bit of exposed skin along the way. Goosebumps rise across your body when he kisses his way up higher. His broad frame cages you in the closer he gets to your face, and despite his hands being on the somewhat small side, they feel all-encompassing when they’re sneaking under your shirt and exploring the skin beneath.
“I missed you more,” you murmur, catching his chin between your fingers and angling his face upwards so you can properly look at him. “I love you so so much, San. More than I can put into words.”
“Yeah?” You make no effort to pull him higher although he moves as though you do and climbs all the way up to be right over your face. He hums before dipping down to kiss the corner of your mouth. “I think I’ve missed you more still though—” another kiss, this time to the opposite side of your mouth “—but you’re welcome to challenge me on that.”
“San,” you whine. He pulls back and sits back on his knees. Your brain goes totally blank watching him take his shirt off. It’s something you’ve seen time and time again, truly nothing new or foreign to you, but something about it now makes your gut twist in on itself. He’s lost a bit of the muscle you’ve grown accustomed to seeing on him, now softer around the edges, at the waist and across his stomach. It doesn’t curb your desire for him in the slightest; if anything it makes you want him more, to cling to him tighter and feel him firmer against you.
He throws the shirt down to the floor and drags a hand through his dark hair. His legs are splayed around yours, putting the prominent bulge in his pants on full display before you.
“I want you to use me, y/n.” He grabs your hand from where it’s resting against the bed and brings it to his chest. You dig your nail into his flesh like it’s second nature to do so. “Tonight, for your pleasure.” His eyes trail after your every moment, watching as you sit up and pull your legs out from under him. You graze the underside of his dick ever so slightly yet it’s still enough to make his lashes flutter. 
“Then…” San is like putty in your hands, conforming to every move you make while still maintaining that unbreaking eye contact. He turns with you, and you climb off the bed to stand despite feeling seconds away from toppling over. All it takes is the slightest push against his chest for him to lie flat on his back. “Will you be good for me?” 
His response comes in the form of a bitten-back whine thanks to you cupping the bulge of his cock as you withdraw your hand. It’s intoxicating to strip him of his jeans and feel every inch of his pretty tapered waist. You urge him to move further up on the bed, making room for you between his legs once you’ve tossed his pants down beside yours on the floor. The tip of his cock peeks out the top of his underwear, already stiff and leaking precum onto the elastic band. Saucy nudes here and there don’t do him nearly enough justice, you think. You tease just the bit of him that's exposed with your tongue, licking at the sensitive and swollen head, and he twitches beneath the fabric. Humming to yourself, you inch his underwear down just far enough to put his whole member on display, along with his balls, but you don’t go any further than that. It’s enough for you to get your mouth around him, after all, and that’s exactly what you do without giving San any time to brace himself for the touch.
He lets out a desperate moan the moment your wet heat envelopes his length, fingers curling into his palms around the comforter. His hips twitch with the desire to thrust upwards, but he keeps himself firmly planted on the bed, fulfilling his end of the bargain for you and being so delightfully good. The weight of him on your tongue isn’t nearly enough; you want him buried deep inside you as soon as possible, and you’d go on and do it now if you didn’t think it would hurt like a bitch given how long it’s been since you’ve taken him. San isn’t distracted enough to miss the way you retract a hand to touch yourself, and he fights to speak through broken moans.
“I w-wanna touch you, pretty.” You lift yourself off his cock until just the tip sits on your lower lip.
“I’ll let you later when I ask you to fold me in half and fuck me into the mattress.” You sink two fingers into your hole, taking San back into your mouth to revel in that full feeling again. You’re just as needy as he is, in reality, because your walls are already coated with arousal and it pools around the base of your fingers in such a way that it makes your cheeks flush. San’s noises aren’t helping in the slightest — for as quiet as he is in day-to-day life, he is ever so vocal when it comes to sex, especially when his cock is buried in your mouth. He’s just long enough to push right into the back of your throat, making it far easier for you to take him fully. 
“Your mouth feels so — fuck, fucking good, baby.” If you weren’t preoccupied, you would love to return his words with your own, so you settle for tugging at his balls a little. It earns you a delightful little yelp, and his hips buck up to drive his dick further into your throat than expected. “Hngh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“I want—” you don’t finish your train of thought, too rushed to bother with it as you scramble to rid yourself of your underwear. San greets you with his hands when you climb back onto the bed and grabs hold of your waist. He tugs and pulls at your shirt until it’s gone too, leaving you with nothing more than your plain black bra. However, even that San seems to find issue with, because he toys with the clasp until it comes loose and throws that aside too.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs, settling back against the mattress. He’s always told you this is his favorite position, to see you straddling his hips and bouncing on his cock, though he favors missionary quite a bit as well because it lets him see your body and face while he’s fucking you (despite how much he loves your ass). His cock is trapped between your pussy and his stomach now, hard and throbbing for the same kind of stimulation you so desperately crave. You drag your folds along his length a few times just to tease San, but he grips your hip in warning. In hindsight, you should have let him finger you open more before because the stretch is far more than you remember — not enough to hurt, but enough for you to really feel every inch of him entering your body. It makes you writhe atop him, your spine arches, and you drop your head back. San holds you like you're a precious gem, thick arms circling around your waist as you rest your hands on his chest. The position gives you some much-needed stability, but San's fingers have begun to get severely distracting. He rolls his thumbs into your skin, pausing only to squeeze and pinch at the more sensitive parts of your sides. 
“I’m gonna start moving,” you whisper like being too loud will break some sort of seal. San nods and unwraps his arms enough to simply hold your hips. Despite the decrease in definition of his muscles, his strength doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere, because he lifts you with such ease that it’s a bit dizzying. Still, he lets the control rest in your hands. You sink down slowly on his cock, letting your walls get used to the drag, before doing the same motion two, three more times. The first whimper to fall from your lips is what snaps your resolve. San’s hold on you remains firm but only to ease the strain on your thighs as you begin to pick up your pace. 
“Beautiful, beautiful, you’re so beautiful, my sweet.” San rolls his hips up in time with your movements, driving his cock up into your cunt as you drop yourself onto him, and it reaches so deep inside you that you see stars behind your eyelids. “Missed you so much, missed this, seeing your body through photos wasn’t enough — fuck, it wasn’t enough.”
“How many, ah, times did you come to those photos, hm?” You crack one eye open to watch San’s face. He’s already flushed with want, but the red in his cheeks deepens more upon hearing your question. You lean your weight further into your hands. “I fingered myself so many times thinking of you, Sannie. B-But, hngh, it wasn’t good enough. Not as good as your cock. Nothing… n-nothing feels as good!”
San thrusts up with more vigor now, all but taking over for you to go slack above him as he drives your hips down with his hands and pushes his length into you from the opposite direction. Then, suddenly, his movements falter and stutter to a halt, and he looks just as shocked as you are when his cock twitches against your walls. A blooming of warmth fills you right after, along with the realization that San has just come inside you without warning.
“I-I’m sorry, I — I didn’t mean to, ah, I thought I would last longer.” He slings an arm up over his eyes, and the red in his face deepens in hue. “I’m sorry, I should’ve let you come first.” You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Leaning down over him, you peel his arm away from his face so that you can see his shamed expression better.
“Your dick is far from the only thing that can make me come, babe. Right?” 
He nods a few times, but there’s still a pout on his lips. You kiss it away. 
“Then—” you detach yourself from his body, bringing about an unwelcome emptiness as his spent cock slips out of you, and roll onto your back beside him. He watches with rapt attention as you spread your legs and open your pussy to him. “Why don’t you?”
San moves with surprising haste for a man who has just come, rolling into the space between your legs, and while you expected him to just use his fingers to get you off, he hooks his hands around your thighs and shoves his face into your used cunt instead. It yanks a startled moan out of you, and it’s only amplified when he closes his lips around your clit. He’s lucky you don’t give him a concussion with how quickly you slam your thighs around his head. You don’t notice that he’s moved a hand until fingers are prodding at your leaking entrance and urging the come he just pumped into you back into your hole.
“O-Oh, San.” 
Normally, he takes his sweet time eating you out, bringing you to the precipice of orgasm before sending you right back down time and time again without release. Though, either out of lingering shame at coming early or simply out of a desire to make you unravel, San laps at your clit so eagerly that it sends shudders through you. You can feel your blood rushing lower as he urges you to come, walls clenching around his fingers. It only takes another second more for the first wave to hit you, and it makes you scramble to grab hold of San’s hair as he keeps curling his fingers over your sweet spot. He does so throughout each wave of your orgasm until tears burn the corners of your eyes and you’re all but pleading for him to grant you some mercy.
“You — you had nothing to prove, you know,” you say between desperate attempts to catch your breath. San giggles and looks up at you from his lewd position. “Ugh!” You shove his head away from you half-heartedly just to spare yourself more embarrassment.
“Oh, come on, don’t be like that, duck!”
You only go as far as the pillows, turning back to him immediately and opening your arms to welcome him into them. 
“I came too early, of course I had something to prove,” he adds once he’s snugly placed against your chest. You slot together like two pieces of a puzzle, his head under your chin and your breath stirring the messy strands of hair in your path. “I’ve fallen out of practice. When was the last time I did that? It’s embarrassing…”
You can’t contain your laughter.
“You always come a little early when I ride you.”
“That’s not fair!”
All you can do to soothe him is pat his head. You feel a tad sticky and gross all over, but San’s warmth more than makes up for it, and if you’re not careful, you’re certain you’ll fall asleep within minutes. A small sniffle coming from the man atop you chases thoughts of rest away in the blink of an eye though.
“San?”
“’m okay, promise.”
“You’re crying, baby, that’s not ”okay“.”
“I just,” he inhales and licks over his lips, skating across your sternum in the process. “I wasn’t sure I was gonna stay afloat without you.” You comb your fingers through his hair.
“Tell me when you need me and I’ll be there. Always.”
“I didn’t want to disrupt your schedule and get in the way.”
“You have to trust that I’ll take care of myself and my responsibilities even if I help you too. You always tell me that when I worry over the same things. It goes both ways, San, okay?”
“Okay.” He nods against you. “Okay, I’ll try to remember that. As long as you don’t lock yourself away when things get tough. Rely on me if you need strength. And talk to me when something is on your mind.”
“Alright, we have an agreement.” Out of nowhere, you remember Wooyoung’s suggestion from this morning. Picking at a stray piece of San’s hair, you mull over your thoughts some more. You could let things settle as they are now since things seem to be back to a pleasant state of balance. But even so, would it do any harm to try anyway? “I’d like to go on a first date again. With you. I want us to go on a first date again.”
“Hm?”
“Like… I want us to go out like it’s the first time all over again. And feel that excitement and giddiness we had back then. We don’t have to, it’s just a thought. I don’t know. Maybe it’d be a good thing after this semester.”
Silence overtakes the room. San’s breathing is so steady that you think he’s fallen asleep, but the second you try to shift and see his face, he tilts his head up and looks into your eyes.
“Alright. Let’s go on a first date again.”
“I figured we’d go to that little Thai place by the grocery before heading over to the Christmas light show?”
“Oh!” Your thoughts rearrange themselves around his words. “That sounds really nice, yeah.”
“The guys wanna meet up at Wooyoung’s after for chicken and beer, but I told them I’d leave the decision up to you.” He tilts his chin a bit to the side as he speaks, lips quirked up at the corners, and you find yourself so incredibly fond of him all over again.
“Let’s see how we feel after walking around.”
You offer to drive tonight, but he denies you quickly, whining about how he filled his tank full of gas just for tonight so you don’t push the matter any further than that (though, you still tease him a bit once he opens the passenger door for you). When he turns the car on, music starts blasting through the speakers, a song you recognize well, and the dash shows that he’s been listening to the playlist you made for him at the start of the last school year. 
“Sorry, forgot the volume was up so high.” He scrambles to twist the dial down, but you stop him with your hand, gripping his wrist lightly and giving a firm shake of your head.
“I didn’t realize you still listened to it. Normally you just have the radio going.”
“Ah, well,” San’s cheeks are a bit flush under the low lights of the car, “I suppose I’ve been feeling a bit sentimental these days.” His next move is a bit hesitant; he reaches across the console and lays his hand atop your thigh. You reassure him by putting your hand over his, fingers curling around his once again. It feels normal and familiar, though you can’t count on two hands the last time you’ve done something as menial as holding hands with San. 
“San?” He makes a noise of acknowledgment while watching the road. “I’ve missed you.” His nails dig into your flesh a little, and the pressure makes your heart clench in your chest.
“I’ve missed you more.” You can only see his side profile, but it’s enough for you to catch the upturn of his lips. 
“I’ve missed you most then.” The statement slips out through a pout. 
“And I love you more than the moon loves the ocean.”
The weight of his hand is comfort enough for you to be at ease for the rest of the drive.
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this work belongs to caly / hongism (2023). do not copy, repost, or plagiarize in any way.
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mrkis · 1 year
Text
this is (not) easy. (m.l)
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PAIRING: mark lee x reader GENRE: fwb, f2l, crack humour, fluff, smut, angst WORD COUNT: 13.2k
SYNOPSIS: getting into a friends with benefits situation with your all time best friend was so (not) easy
CONTENT WARNINGS: explicit content, oral (f & m receiving), fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, sofa sex, doggy, creampies, big dick mark as always (he gets cocky bc his cock is big), a lot of crack humour, kissing, make-outs, sorta slow burn, heavily implied jaemin x reader moments, alcohol consumption, mentions of weed
[AN]: a thank you gift for being patient with me while i take some time off, and also a thank you gift for the follower milestone. you guys are insane.. i love you.
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“Wait, you what?” You screech incredulously, not caring about the loudness of your tone as you abruptly straighten up in your seat, the legs squeaking against the wooden flooring of the library. Other students with their heads shoved in books and laptop screens peek over to shush you angrily, one warning you about the volume of your voice but you pay them no attention as you’re staring wide eyed at Mark who sits across from you sheepishly. 
Mark Lee—one of the hot throbs living on campus, the smartest and kindest guy in class, and the biggest marvel freak has been your bestest friend for the past few years, having met in the middle of a school’s basketball court where fourteen-year-old Mark had tried to shoot some hoops to impress his newfound friends, only for the ball to come flying straight at your face and leaving you with a swollen eyeball and a busted up nose.
Mark was unbelievably apologetic, buying jellies and ripping up flowers from potted plants to give to you, begging for your forgiveness over and over again until you socked him in the face, giving him a hefty nosebleed and a bruised cheek. A toothy grin was spread across your cheeks as you had taken the gifts out of his hands, a happy ‘now we’re even!’ leaving your lips as you had ripped open the packet, offering a jelly, offering your friendship.
The two of you became inseparable and if someone saw one of you, they knew that the other would be trailing along behind them. You were two peas in a pod, the dynamic duo. You were so joined at the hip that when you both enrolled for college, you tried signing up for a dorm on campus, wanting to be roommates. 
It didn’t happen much to both of your dismay. Mark ended up rooming with one of his friends, Jaemin, while you got stuck with some girl you didn’t even know but had become acquainted with over a short period of time.
Still, you and Mark never strayed far from each other even with your roommates lingering around. Mark slept over at your place from time to time and vice versa, you’re certain that he even has a drawer for himself in your dresser filled with spare shirts, sweatpants and underwear. A lot of your mutual friends found it suspicious how you two could be so close with nothing going on, complaining how neither of you could be just friends even though it was the truth. You are just friends, you’re best friends.
“I’m just saying you’re complaining about not hooking up with someone for a few days while I haven’t slept with someone for, like, a month” Mark repeats to you with flushed cheeks, adjusting the black cap on his head with one hand while other skilfully flips a pen around his fingers, bottom lip jutting out. “Times are hard, dude. I got assignments coming out of my ass—”
“There’s no way you haven’t hooked up with someone recently” You hiss between teeth, refusing to believe a word that comes out of his mouth when he’s talking about such nonsense. A student from the table next to yours turns around in their seat in annoyance to look at you, pressing their finger aggressively against their lips to tell you to quiet down and you scoff, throwing them the middle finger with your own irritancy and annoyance.
“Can you not?” Mark scolds you as he wraps his hand around your own, squeezing in warning as he pushes it back down to the table and sends the student an apologetic smile, and as always, it works like a charm as they shyly smile back and return back to their book. It makes you scoff again and Mark is quick to look at you, “I’m telling you the truth, you know”
“Bullshit” You murmur, sending him a glare. “That girl from my study group was over at your dorm last weekend—I saw her snapchat stories”
“Dude, we’re in the same study group. She came over for some of my notes and stayed longer because Jaemin offered her an ounce of his ‘premium weed’” Mark explains, putting emphasis around the word ‘premium weed’ which has you snorting, knowing that there was nothing premium about Jaemin’s stash. “She eventually ended up sleeping over and fucking Jeno anyways”
Your face contorts into a look of confusion at that, “What? Jeno isn’t even your roommate?”
“I know,” Mark grimaces. “Jaemin’s sheets are still in the dryer”
“Oh…” You pause, humming as the realisation finally hits you. “So that’s why Jaemin didn’t have any sheets on his bed when I came over on Monday”
“Yea—wait, you came over Monday?” Mark’s head snaps towards you, eyes narrowing in on you as he jabs his pen in your direction. “Did you fuck in my bed?!
“No, of course not” You scoff, deeply offended by his accusation and Mark lets out a sigh of relief, relaxing his shoulders as he leans back into his chair. “We actually fucked on the sofa—”
“Are you fucking kidding m—”
“That’s besides the point!!” You cut him off before he can grill into you, silencing him as you raise your hand in front of his face as he tries to retaliate again. “You haven’t fucked anyone in a month, Mark. That’s… that’s blasphemy!!”
Mark deadpans, “I’m pretty sure that’s not blasphemy”
“Whatever, you know what I mean” You discard it, shoving your books and pens as far away from you as you possibly could, no longer interested in studying the endless amount of words on that page now that you’ve discovered your best friend hasn’t gotten laid in so long. You sit comfortably in your chair as you fully face him, tucking your legs beneath you. “I can’t believe you fucked someone in a month…”
“You’re telling me” Mark huffs, deciding to push away his studies too for the time being as he rubs at his face in frustration, groaning beneath his palms. You console him with a frown, rubbing his shoulder in pity and Mark drops his hands to his lap, looking over at you with a glare. “I can’t believe you didn’t believe me, dude… why would I lie about something like that?!”
“I don’t know—you fuck more than I do, of course I’m not gonna believe a word you say when you tell me something like that!!” You’re quick to defend yourself, both you and Mark knowing you’re speaking the truth. 
Mark does fuck more than you. His boyish charm and adorable face doesn’t hide the fact that his body count is currently sitting in its twenties and that his online bank statements show how many packs of condoms he’s buying weekly, and maybe a few plan B’s lingering there somewhere for extra precaution. He was always on the safe side which didn’t surprise you, he was nowhere ready to be extremely stupid and possibly impregnate someone, especially a stranger. 
“Dude… you didn’t have to say it out loud like that…” Mark mutters under his breath, cheeks dusting a slight pink as another student turns around in their seat to glare at the pair of you and comically widens her eyes as she meets Mark’s, shyly tucking her hair behind her ears with a kind smile that Mark reciprocates. You scoff at her reaction and lean back in your seat just as Mark’s attention is brought back to you. “Are we done with this conversation? I’d like to change the topic from my non-existent sex life to something more appealing”
“Fine… you still going to Johnny’s later?”
“Nah, he’s got some important family thing to go to so we’re hanging another time” Mark sighs softly, taking the cap off of his head to run his fingers through his hair before adjusting it back on. “You cool if I came over with you?”
“Sure” You grin, already shoving your books into your tote bag, eager to leave the library as soon as you possibly can. Mark snorts in amusement but follows closely behind as he shoves his own belongings into his backpack and rests the strap on his shoulder. You turn your head to see the girl still staring over at Mark and you smirk, slamming one hand on the desk in front of her to get her attention before jabbing your thumb in Mark’s direction. “If you want his number, I can give it to you. He’s been stuck in a dry spell recently so—”
Mark’s fingers curl around your elbow, dragging you away from the traumatised girl with a huff, “Move”
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“I’ve been thinking about something…” You begin after a few hefty hours of studying and bingeing out on food, dropping your chopsticks in the empty ramen cup and pushing it to the side. Mark sits beside you on the sofa, his own ramen cup in hand as he stares at his laptop screen, taking in the words that need to be remembered for his class.
Mark gives you a pointed look as he slurps his ramen, “That doesn’t sound good”
“Wow, hilarious” You deadpan with a roll of your eyes as he chuckles under his breath, turning his head back to the laptop screen. “Anyway—and hear me out before you say some dumbass shit—I’ve been thinking about something that relates to that little problem we both have, and I may have just thought of a way to fix it”
“Why are you still hung up on this?” Mark whines between mouthfuls. “I don’t want to be reminded that I’m not having sex, dude—"
“Ah!” You hold up your hand to shush him and he goes cross eyed to stare at your palm. “I said hear me out”
“Okay”
“Great! Okay, so, me and you are the best of friends, right? Like, we always help each other out and—”
“Where is this going?”
“Hear. Me. Out” You warn once more and Mark sighs, nodding his head to let you continue. “We always help each other out, right? And there’s no awkwardness between us at all which makes us close. Do you remember that time we had to make-out in front of Sejun so he would stop awkwardly hitting on me? And that time I pretended to be your girlfriend so Rina would get the hint that you didn’t want to fuck her anymore?”
“That didn’t exactly work out because we slept with them a few days after it happened—”
“That’s not the point” You say as you frustratingly rub at your temples. “The point is that we always help each other out, no matter what the situation is because we’re best friends. So, as best friends, I think we should help each other out with our little situation”
“And how can we help each other out”
“By fucking each other” The second those words leave your lips, Mark chokes on his ramen, fist banging against his chest as he coughs, eyes watery and face red and it has you cackling, wishing you had your phone nearby to take a picture. Mark takes deep breaths as he finally consumes air, reaching down to grab his bottle of water that rests beside the leg of the sofa, gulping it down almost immediately. “You’re so dramatic”
“And you’re crazy!!” Mark shoots back, water droplets falling from his chin as he looks at you with wide eyes. “Do you realise what you just said?”
You grin, “Perfectly!”
“We’re not fucking each other, it’ll be too weird” You instantly find offense to that, your jaw dropping and Mark rolls his eyes. “We’re best friends. Best friends don’t do that type of shit—Stop looking at me like that!”
You huff, turning your head away from him childishly, “I’m just trying to help us out. I don’t think it’ll be weird, people have done weirder”
“Do you know how many friendships have been ruined because they fucked?” Mark questions you and you take a moment to ponder, wincing as you can easily name a few from the top of your head. “Exactly. As much as I find you attractive, I’m not going to ruin our friendship. We’ve been best friends for too long”
Your head slowly whirls back to Mark who’s already staring at you and you smile, flirtily batting your eyelashes at him, “You think I’m attractive?”
“You’re unbelievable, jesus fucking chri—” Mark cuts himself off, rubbing his forehead as he exhales deeply due to his frustration. You beam at the thought of getting under his skin, but you roll your eyes and reach over to press your foot into his side to bring his attention back to you.
Mark looks over at you with a deadpan expression and you grin softly, tilting your head to the side as you admire the view. You’ve always found Mark attractive even if it was in a friendly way, and you’d be lying if you said that sleeping with him has never crossed your mind, but that’s because you’re nosy and want to see what all the fuss is about when you continuously hear the girls gush about what he’s like in bed.
Some say he’s pretty giving, tending to their needs in all ways possible while others say he comes across as needy and desperate, begging for his cock to be sucked. It piques your interest immensely… Maybe it was wrong of you to think that way about someone you know so well, but you’re human after all, sometimes you can’t help the way you think. 
“Look…” You speak first. “What I said was just a suggestion, okay? If you don’t want to do it then that’s fine—”
“How do you know that it won’t ruin our friendship?” Mark cuts you off and your eyebrows raise in surprise at the question. “We’ve been friends for, like, nine years or something, dude… I don’t know about you but I don’t want to throw that all away because we messed up and decided to fuck each other just because we’re horny”
“We’re not going to get into anything serious” You tell him, crossing your arms over your chest. “Sure, we’re probably going to be in some type of friends with benefits situation but we’re not going to include any of that ‘official’ or ‘exclusive’ bullshit. We just fuck each other for a release when we can’t find it anywhere else, it’s as simple as that. No complications”
“So…” Mark purses his lips in deep thought. “We can still fuck other people?”
You scoff, “Of course. You think I’d drop Jaemin for you that easily?”
“Fuck you”
Your lips curl into a smirk, “I’m hoping you would”
Mark stares at you before chuckling, shaking his head as his tongue pokes at his cheek. The little act spurs you on but you remain seating, wanting Mark to make the first move if he was game in fucking you to help relieve the stress you’re both feeling, maybe Mark more than you considering you fucked Jaemin a few days ago, but you were desperate to be filled again.
You watch Mark ponder for a moment, his bottom lip jutting down deep in thought, brows pulling together as he thinks about the pros and cons. His hands come up to pull the cap off of his head, his hair messily falling in front of his eyes and your thighs press together at the thought of seeing it between your legs with your fingers tangled through the locks. You snort at how deluded you sound.
“What time does your roommate come back tonight?” Mark questions you, his low voice bringing you out of your thoughts and your body buzzes with excitement, reaching over to snag your phone off of the coffee table to check the time and you grin wildly when you realise she won’t be home for another three hours. You inform him immediately and he nods, “Cool. Good to know”
“So?” You press, chucking your phone back onto the coffee table as you look at him expectedly. “What’s it going to be?”
“No titles—”
“None at all”
“We can still fuck whoever we want—”
“Even the neighbours”
“And most importantly…” Mark pauses with a deep sigh, leaning closer to you and holding up his hand with his pinky finger outstretched. “We’re still best friends”
“It’ll be like nothing ever changed” You say softly with a smile, raising your own hand to curl your pinky finger around his own, squeezing tightly. It’s silent between you both for a while and you can clearly see the cogs turning inside Mark’s head as he thinks about his next move, yet you’re the one that takes the initiative. 
You rip your hand away from his to throw your arms around his shoulders, dragging him towards you to plant your lips on his in a heated kiss. You’re surprised at how fast Mark responds as his palms come up to cup your cheeks, tilting his head to the side to kiss you deeper as his tongue moulds with yours. 
The few drunken kisses you’ve shared with Mark to help each other out of situations is nothing like the kiss you’re experiencing now and it catches you extremely off guard. You almost expected him to allow you to take control of the situation and lead him through, but with the way Mark’s pushing you down to the sofa and crawling in between your open legs with his lips still attached to yours, you’re stumped. 
“Wait” You stop him, pressing your hand against his shoulder to push him back and Mark moves away with puckered lips, his fingers hovering above the waistband of your shorts which causes you to snort, “Why are we doing this on the sofa when there’s a perfectly good bed in my room?”
Mark glares down at you, “That didn’t stop you and Jaemin fucking on my sofa”
“Actually, there was no sheets on Jaemin’s bed, so—”
“Think of this as payback” Mark smiles at you sweetly and you snarl, knocking your knee against his side with force and he laughs through clenched teeth, “Besides, you’ve probably fucked a lot of people on this sofa…. Do you really care?”
“Are you implying that I’m a slut”
“Yeah”
“God, that’s so hot of you”
Mark snorts out a laugh and leans down to reconnect your lips as his hands pull your shorts and underwear down your legs, carelessly throwing them somewhere to the side and you hiss at the cold air that hits, yearning for warmth. 
Mark’s lips trail down your throat and to the collar of your shirt, heading south to where your thighs shake in anticipation, watching as he shifts down to lay between your legs, hands pushing against your knees to spread you apart further.
Your hand reaches down to pull the cap off of his head, revealing his messy hair beneath and you toss it over the sofa, caring so little about where it lands as you thread your fingers through his locks, trying to tug him closer but he barely budges, staring up at you with his brows laced together.
“Hurry” You whine.
“Are you always this impatient?”
“Of course” You look at him like he’s stupid. “We’re both doing this for a reason and it’s to cum, not to take our sweet little time and—Oh fuck!”
“You talk too much” He drags his tongue through your folds, the pink muscle swirling around your clit and your body jerks, a gasp flying past your lips as you dig your fingers further into his hair, the feeling of his tongue wiggling between your folds and licking upwards to flick over your clit before his fingers tease at your entrance.
Your body goes slack against the sofa cushions as he eases his two digits inside the warmth of your walls, curling his fingers upwards as his lips wrap around your sensitive bud and you whine, tugging on his hair a little harder which causes him to groan, the vibrations causing goosebumps to rise to your skin. 
You’re in shock at how well Mark uses his tongue and fingers against you. You’ve heard stories from your girl friends and Mark himself, but you didn’t realise he was this good and it completely caught you off track, unable to control the noises that rip from your chest when he begins to pump his fingers in and out of your pussy while his tongue continues to work wonders on your clit.
“Mark” You say his name with a moan, thighs twitching and closing in around his head and you feel him smile against your cunt, causing you to squeeze around his head in warning, “Stop it”
“You gonna cum already?” He asks as he lifts his head, mouth glistening with your arousal and his fingers hitting the spot that has your toes curling and back arching against the cushions. “You can cum, if you want. Let it go”
“You’re so cocky” You chuckle, but your amusement slips away and is overcome by pleasure as he pumps his fingers a few more times, the tightening band in your stomach snapping as you cum all over his hand, gasping through high pitched whines and trying to control the convulsing movement of your body.
“That’s it” Mark hums, pressing a quick kiss to your clit. “There you go…”
“Oh my god” You choke out, your hand falling limp on his shoulder as it drops from his hair, your fingers twitching over the material. “What the fuck was that?!”
“Me eating you out” He answers simply with smugness in his tone, popping his fingers into his mouth to lick them clean and your mouth drops in shock at the action. “You good?”
“Yeah, good” You nod dumbly, completely astonished at how nonchalant Mark is, watching as he tugs his jeans and boxers down his legs awkwardly when he sits up, your eyes immediately zoning in on his cock that slaps against his stomach once freed from its confinements. 
Truthfully, you’ve seen Mark naked as he’s so comfortable stripping in front of you without any thought. But, you’ve never seen Mark hard and the sight alone is enough to have your mouth watering in anticipation. Your best friend is huge. 
“Okay” Mark speaks to himself, shuffling forwards on his knees and hooking his hands under the back of yours to pull you closer, his thumbs caressing your skin. “You ready? You know there’s no turning back from this, right?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be” You grin, wiggling against him excitedly. “Give me what you got, baby!”
“Don’t call me that, dude” Mark tuts, shaking his head as he slowly slides his cock into you. Your eyes slowly start to widen at the stretch, the burn obvious in your thighs and your hand flies down to his in hopes to slow down his movements despite him going as slow as he possibly could.
You breathe steadily through your nose, lips pressed together tightly as you wince at the uncomfortable ache that spreads, your pussy squeezing down on him as if you were trying to prevent him from entering any further. 
“Ow” You mutter beneath your breath, twisting your hips to try and get comfortable and relax but you wince at the movement you make, causing Mark to raise his head from where you’re connected to look into your eyes, his own pooling with concern.
“You alright?”
“Mhm” You hum with a curt nod. “Nothing of that significant size has been up there before, you know? I’m just… feeling uncomfortable, that’s all”
His lips curl into a grin, “You calling my dick big?”
You give him a hardened glare, “Not as big as your fucking head”
Mark laughs loudly, his hand laying flat across your lower tummy as he adjusts himself in between your legs, head ducking down to watch himself carefully push into you once more but the second your legs tense up, he sighs apologetically and strokes your tummy as he slides out of you and you whine at the feeling of emptiness, looking at him with a pout.
“Hold on…” He tells you softly, gently grabbing your waist to help flip you over on all fours, his hands sliding around your back and pressing down slightly, arching it to hold you in place as you feel his cock prod at your entrance. “This should feel better. But tell me if it still hurts, okay? I don’t want to hurt you anymore”
“Just—” You grit your teeth together. “Just fuck me, Mark”
“Okay” Mark whispers as he eases himself into you again at a slow pace and you gasp, your fingers gripping the arm of the sofa, your head dropping to rest on the cushions as you try to control your breathing. The new position was definitely better than the last, but you can still feel him stretch you out to fit you around his cock. “Is my dick really that big?”
“Are you asking because you’re concerned or because you want me to boost your ego?”
Mark smiles, “Maybe both”
You don’t even get a chance to retaliate as Mark begins to fill you up completely, his hips pressing against your ass and you whine at how full you feel, unable to think properly as he pulls his cock out, leaving the tip nestled in your cunt before thrusting back in. 
He curses loudly behind you, fingers digging into your hips as he rocks his hips into you, his powerful thrusts sending your body jerking forwards. You squeeze around his cock and he moans, his pace speeding up and you can’t help but fuck yourself back onto him, whining and panting at the pleasure that swirls in the pit of your tummy. 
The sound of skin slapping against skin is enough to have your eyes rolling back, the lewd sounds driving you even closer to the edge along with his rapid thrusts and continuous cursing. You’re positive you can hear him mumble about how ‘fucking tight your pussy’ is. You would’ve never guessed he was into such dirty talk, Mark continues to amaze you. 
Your pussy swallows around his length when you feel his hand sneak beneath your body to reach between your fingers, the pads of his fingers rubbing diligent circles on your clit and you mewl, your own hand coming down to latch around his wrist.
“Sh...shit” You slur, drool seeping past the corner of your lips. “So good—Fuck, don’t stop—s’good”
“I’m not gonna stop” You hear Mark whisper and you could feel the tears build up in your eyes as Mark leans over your body, holding himself up with one hand on the arm of the sofa, his other playing with your clit as he quickens his thrusts, his cock hitting deeper than before that it has you seeing stars. Your toes curl and your body tenses up as his cock ploughs into your cunt, repeatedly hitting that spot over and over before your second orgasm of the night hits you violently.
Your screams are muffled by your own hand, walls pulsating around his cock as you cum, struggling to hold up your weight as your body falls limp on the sofa, pleasure buzzing through your veins and sending your mind whirling as Mark fucks you through it to reach his own high, moving his hand from your clit to rest on your lower back, arching your ass up to fuck you deeper.
“Where do you want me to cum?” He pants, his thumb stroking the top of your ass cheeks. “Fuck, tell me where I can cum”
“Anywhere you want” You garble your words, turning your head to the side to look at him, noticing how his eyes widen slightly. 
“Anywhere?” Mark repeats as he slows his hips and you nod, yelping in shock when he pulls out of you completely and flips your body around once more, staring at him in surprise as he crawls up your body, resting his one hand on your cheek and pulling down your bottom lip with his thumb. “Here?”
Instead of giving him a verbal answer, you open wide and Mark grins, pushing the head of his cock into your mouth and sighing as your lips close around him, letting you suckle on his tip as he cums in long spurts down your throat, brows lacing together in pleasure and moaning softly as your tongue presses against his slit, drinking up everything he gives to you.
It’s silent between you both as Mark removes himself from above you, opting to crash down in the limited space between your body and the sofa, running his fingers through his sweaty hair as he breathes heavily. 
It takes you a few seconds to comprehend what had just happened, staring between Mark’s naked lower half and yours before you abruptly sit up, rolling onto your knees as you stare down at him incredulously. 
“Dude!” You screech, punching his shoulder with such force that has him wincing. 
“Ow! Jesus Chri—”
“What the fuck?! Why did you tell me you were that good?” You immediately cut him off, not allowing him to speak as you shake your head. “We should’ve done this years ago!!”
Mark rolls his eyes in annoyance despite the grin that spreads across his lips as he throws his arm over his face, “Shut up”
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“Okay, so, let me repeat that—” Renjun pauses to chew and swallow his sandwich, pointing between you and Mark on the opposite side of the table “—you two decided to fuck each other last night because neither of you have fucked someone in a long time and now you’ve made some sort of deal that when you can’t find release elsewhere, you’ll go to each other?”
“Yeah”
“What the fuck?!” Renjun exclaims, looking at you both as if you’ve grown an extra head before abruptly turning to Donghyuck and Jaemin who sit silently together, watching everything unfold. “Why aren’t you guys saying anything?!”
“I don’t think it’s as bad as you’re making it out to be” Donghyuck shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly as he turns to look at you with his brows laced together, “Although, I’m kind of offended you didn’t ask me to fuck you”
You grimace, “It makes me queasy thinking about where your dick has been”
“When was the last time you got tested, Hyuck?” Mark teases, a slight smirk curling at the end of his lips as he leans back into his chair, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his pants. Donghyuck rolls his eyes and retaliates by throwing him the middle finger to which Mark laughs at.
“And you’re okay with this?” Renjun questions Jaemin who slowly nods as he rolls a blunt beneath the table, lips pursed in concentration. 
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He grumbles, lifting his eyes to Renjun and raises a brow before looking back down to his lap. “Besides, sometimes I get so faded that I can’t even get my dick up. She needs good dick and I can’t give it to her when I’m that out of it”
You gasp in awe, reaching out to pinch his cheek, “You are so thoughtful!”
“So I’m the only sane person that thinks this is a stupid idea?” Renjun shakes his head in disbelief, biting into his sandwich with a sigh. His eyes widen, a piece of lettuce hanging from his mouth as he erratically pats his pockets, “Where’s Jeno? Somebody text Jeno”
“You know damn well Jeno isn’t going to give a shit” Donghyuck cackles. “Pretty sure he fucked his best girl friend last year”
“Yeah? And where is she now?” Renjun looks at you all for an answer and you frown, sinking into your seat with your arms crossed over your chest, “Exactly!!”
“Come on, dude, it’s not like that…” Mark tries to explain. “We talked about it. We’re not doing any of that exclusive or official stuff, we’re not making it weird”
“Meaning we can still fuck whoever we want” You add on, turning to look at Jaemin with a pretty smile and he looks back at you with a smirk, dropping his left eye into a flirtatious wink before resuming back in rolling his joint. 
“So, what I’m hearing is—” Donghyuck pauses, leaning his elbows on his table and resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he bats his eyelashes at you, “There’s still a chance for you to fuck me?”
“I have more of a chance of getting fucked than you, Hyuck” Jeno’s voice interrupts from behind and you whiz around in your seat, grinning as you see Jeno nearing towards your table with his jacket in one hand and his books in the other. 
He greets you all with a smile, placing his belongings down on the table before grabbing an empty chair from another, scraping the metal across the floor as he drags it to place beside Mark, slapping his hand down on his shoulder in greeting as he sits.
“Anyway, what are we talking about?”
“Mark and Y/N fucked” Renjun immediately jumps into it and you sigh, throwing your head back in frustration as Mark laughs beside you. “And they’re going to continue to fuck whenever they have no one else to, so—”
“Cool”
Renjun stares at Jeno incredulously. “That’s not cool!! You’re all helpless, every single one of you”
Jeno pulls a face, “You know, it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be—”
“That’s what I said~” Donghyuck sings.
“—and besides, they’re grown adults, they can do whatever they want” Jeno’s words make your brows raise with little surprise, watching as he flips open his book and grabs the pen that rests behind his ear, tugging off the cap with his teeth before looking at you, “I’m surprised it took you this long to actually hook-up, I thought it would’ve happened months ago”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just means I thought you two would’ve fucked months ago” Jeno smiles and shrugs innocently, blowing the cap out of his mouth and catching it with his hand before he begins scribbling on the pages and you roll your eyes, craning your neck over your shoulder to look at Mark who shrugs his own shoulders, not fully understanding the meaning of Jeno’s words but chooses not to dwell on it any longer as he reaches for his drink, sipping through the straw as he gives his attention to Donghyuck who angles his phone in his direction to show him something that you could barely see.
Renjun shakes his head in disbelief, shoving the last remaining bite of his sandwich into his mouth and grabbing his own book out of his backpack to take notes alongside Jeno before comically raising his head up to point his pen at you and Mark.
“Also, I don’t want to hear any complaining from either of you when this whole ‘friends with benefits relationship’ bullshit ends up going to literal shit” Renjun warns before slowly turning the pen to point it as himself, “Because I will laugh in your face and simply say, ‘I told you so’”
A scoff leaves your lips as Mark speaks up, “Relax, dude, everything is going to be fine. And besides, it could just be a one time thing… It might not even happen again” Mark eyes you, “Right?”
Your lips curl into a smile as you lean your elbows on the table, chin resting on the palm of your hand as you give him a short nod, “Right”
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“Mark, Mark, Mark” You moan out his name repeatedly, back arching off of your bed and gripping the pillows behind your head, mouth open wide as Mark’s fingers pump in and out of your pussy, waves of slick splashing onto the sheets below and his boxers. He laughs as you shove your face into your arm, body trembling and whines slipping past your lips from the overwhelming sensation of him fucking you with his fingers.
Your legs clamp shut around his hand but he’s already prying you back open with his other, holding them down to the bed as his fingers curl up into the sweet spot that has you trembling through your orgasm, almost bringing yourself to tears at the pressure in the pit of your tummy.
“There we go…” Mark hums, milking you for every drop you can give. You quiver and gasp as Mark comes to a stop, grinning as he pulls his fingers away from your cunt and you mewl, struggling to raise your foot and kick him in his side but he captures your ankle in his grasp, drawing circles with his fingertips. “You good?”
“You good” You mock with a scoff, arms flopping to your sides as you take a deep breath, ignoring the way Mark laughs again. “I felt like I was going crazy... that was intense”
“Thank you” Mark cheeses, eyes beaming as he slips off of your bed. “You need to change your sheets though”
“So gentlemanly of you to offer to help” You mutter sarcastically under your breath with a tut, standing up from the bed and your knees buckle beneath you, causing you to reach out and grab onto a surface to steady yourself, throwing your middle finger up in Mark’s direction as he snickers. 
He tells you to go shower while he takes care of the sheets and you immediately oblige, patting his arm in a quick thank you as you wobble out of your bedroom and into the bathroom, eager to clean yourself up after previous activities. 
You take a little longer than usual to shower, taking your time to scrub your body clean and even wash your hair, not even caring about what Mark could be doing inside your home as he waits for you, but you pause your routine as you begin to think about your relationship with Mark.
You’ve been hooking up for almost three weeks, showing up at each other's place whenever you’re in need of sex and getting the deed done before hanging out, getting a bite to eat or even watching something on the TV. You still sleep with Jaemin, you’ve even fucked Jaemin and Mark on the same day. Mark doesn’t care, and personally neither do you, but you start to recall the amount of times you have chosen Mark over Jaemin, and it was a lot.
You and Mark fuck whenever you have no one else to go to, yet given the choices… you still choose Mark. 
“Dude!” Mark bangs his fist on the bathroom door, yanking you out of your thoughts, “I need to piss, hurry up!”
“Just come in!” You yell back at him, frowning as you face the stream of water to let the soap run off your body as you mumble, “It’s not like you haven’t barged in before”
You hear the door yank open behind the shower curtain and you poke your head around just in time for Mark to unzip his pants to relieve himself, his head tilting back with a sigh. His eyes meet yours and his brows pull together, giving you an odd look.
“What?”
“Can I ask you a question?” He blinks before giving you a nod, “Are you still fucking other people?”
“Yeah” That answer relieves you a bit. “I was with Arin last weekend”
“Okay, I have another question”
“Why are you—”
“I’m asking the questions” You cut him off and he chuckles, nodding for you to continue as he zips up his pants and washes his hands. “Has Arin, or any other girl, been available on the same day that I’ve asked you to come over?”
“Um…” Mark ponders for a moment, his bottom lip poking out in deep thought as he dries his hands on the towel. “Yeah, I think so”
“And who did you choose to go to?”
“You” It shocks you at how fast he answers and you grip the shower curtain for support, the slippery floor of the shower almost making you tumble. He chose you too. Is that wrong? You’re uncertain and it makes you feel a little uneasy. Surely there must be a reasonable explanation to why you choose each other instead of fucking the other available people. “Why are you asking me that anyways?”
“Curious” You say as you close the curtain shut to block him out and continue showering, ignoring the way he’s laughing and muttering beneath his breath how funny you are. “Wait, I have another question—”
“Ask me when you’re done showering”
“Why?” Your voice turns sultry as you begin to smirk, “Is knowing that I’m naked behind this flimsy shower curtain turning you on?”
Mark doesn’t answer, instead his arm shoots out from behind the curtain, hand curling around the tap to turn the temperature of the water, laughing like a maniac as he hears you scream from the cold water that splashes on your skin. 
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You hated birthdays. 
Realistically, you hated your birthday. You hated knowing you’re getting older every year, desperately wanting to go back to the ages where all you worried about was not making a fool of yourself in front of someone you crushed on or not knowing the biggest high school gossip about who was seeing who behind whoever's back. Now, at your growing age, all you worry about is failing college and not being able to get a good job to provide a future for yourself. 
You wish nobody knew it was your birthday, but having such close friends who knew you better than you knew yourself, it wasn’t going to be easy, and you nearly spun around and darted out of campus when you saw Donghyuck twirling a gift bag in hand with helium balloons that spelled out ‘birthday girl’ in big, bold letters tied to his wrist.
“Oh! There she is!”
You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. 
“Happy birthday!” Donghyuck yells loudly when you reach their circle, letting your backpack drop to the grass beside Jaemin who looks up at you with a dopey smile. Donghyuck shoves the gift bag into your lap when you finally sit down, huffing at the weight of the bag. “I bought you something!!”
“We told him not to” Jeno tells you, a cigarette hanging between his lips as he looks at you through his bangs, “But as always, Donghyuck doesn’t listen”
“And I never will” Donghyuck chirps, untying the string of the balloons from around his wrist to tie them around yours instead, ignoring the dark look you give him as he smiles cheekily at you, “Look inside. It’s all the essentials you need, pretty”
“I swear to god, If you—”
“Shh” He presses his fingers against your lips. “Less talking, more looking”
You roll your eyes, whacking his hand away from your face before peering into the bag, a soft laugh leaving your lips when you first see two bottles of your favourite alcoholic beverage and a few chocolates, but you immediately deadpan when you see a pack of condoms and a plan B box sandwiched between the pair, staring back at you.
Jaemin peers over your shoulder to drop a premade joint and a few gummies into the bag for later but makes a funny noise when he sees the condom pack, dipping his hand inside the bag to pull it out, throwing it back at Donghyuck who fumbles to catch it.
“Hey—”
“She doesn’t use condoms”
Donghyuck gapes, slowly turning his head towards you with his eyes wide as he leans forward, his nose brushing against yours as he speaks lowly, “Are you sure you don’t want to fuck me?”
“Positive” You giggle and pat his cheek as he whines in defeat, slumping back into his own space. “Thank you for the gifts, but please… you know I hate celebrating my birthday. And were the balloons really necessary too? Did you have to make it more obvious?”
“But the balloons are pretty” Donghyuck frowns, tugging on the string.
“She doesn’t like balloons, dude” 
Your head whizzes around so quickly that you’re positive you could hear it crack at the speed, grinning wildly when you see Mark standing behind you looking at your balloons in disgust, and your brows raise in surprise when you see Arin beside him. You greet her with a wave and she reciprocates, wishing you a quiet happy birthday which you thank her for and you gesture them both to join you in your circle but Arin shakes her head with an apology, announcing that she has to meet up with someone else. 
You watch as she places her hand on Mark’s bicep and asks if they can meet up later but Mark shakes his head, telling her that he already has plans and her face deflates before nodding in understanding, bidding him and the rest of you goodbye before leaving.
Mark lets out a huff as he drops down to the grass, stretching out his legs and knocking his foot against yours, mouthing you a quick happy birthday and you smile in gratitude.
“Arin seems to be hanging out with you a lot recently” Jeno points out, taking a drag of his cigarette and blowing out the smoke in Renjun’s direction, causing him to cough and swat the smoke away with the book he’s got his face buried in. “You like her?”
Mark shakes his head, “No. She was just asking me if I wanted to come over this weekend”
“Are you?”
“Nah” Mark mindlessly starts plucking the grass, avoiding everyone's eyes as they zone in on him. “I don’t have time, got some assignments to finish for my classes”
Hearing him say he hasn’t got the time sparks interest in you and you begin to wonder if Mark would end up asking you for some well needed release. It excites you, especially when you realise you haven’t been under or on top of him in a few days and you press your thighs together at the thought of possibly being dicked down sooner rather than later. 
It’s a birthday gift, you think to yourself when you try to give an excuse to why you’re so needy to be fucked by Mark. It’s just a birthday gift. Yet, you have Jaemin right beside you, someone who’s easily available and someone who used to be frequent in giving you the best birthday sex. 
You could ask Jaemin to come over tonight, but why isn’t the question being asked? Why does it feel like you’re stopping yourself from asking something so simple and easy? Perhaps you’re so used to sleeping with Mark that it doesn’t even occur to you to ask someone else anymore. Jaemin doesn’t seem to be bothered, maybe because he’s been getting his fix elsewhere too, so why does it bother you?
A soft call of your name brings you out of your thoughts and you turn your head towards the source, seeing Mark looking back at you with a kind smile. He shuffles further into the circle to get closer to you, voice dipping low as he speaks.
“Come home with me later? I have something for you”
“What is it?” You ask back, excitement filling your voice. Even though you weren’t a big fan of celebrating your birthday and receiving gifts, there was no doubt in your mind that Mark was probably one of the best people to receive gifts from, knowing he usually goes above and beyond to give you the most memorable birthday. You smile when you remember the three-day spa voucher he gave you last year when he had taken you away for the weekend.
It was the most breath-taking cabin you have ever been to, the sunset above the lake still photographed in your memory. The sight was beautiful, and you were grateful to have seen it with your best friend.
“You’ll find out” Mark tells you with a smile, refusing to give you a hint of any sort as he turns his attention to Renjun to engage in a conversation and you pout, shoulders slumping in defeat and Donghyuck knocks his arm against yours, voice dipping low as he whispers in your ear.
“That plan B will come in handy after all—OUCH!”
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“This is fucking ridiculous” You giggle as you’re blindly walked in Mark’s apartment, his hands covering your eyes to prevent you from seeing anything even though you tried to peek through the gaps between his fingers. Mark’s chest rumbles against your back as he laughs, waiting for you to toe off your shoes at the entrance before leading you further into the apartment.
You have the layout completely mapped out in your head from the amount of times you’ve been at his place, already knowing that he’s bringing you into the kitchen just by the cold marbling that you feel beneath your feet.
You almost trip as Mark plants you down on a chair and he whispers a countdown in your ears before he removes his hands from your face. Your vision is blurry for a moment and you try to adjust to your surroundings with a few blinks, your jaw dropping in awe as the splotches begin to disperse, allowing you to see what’s in front of you.
“Are you kidding me?” You whisper softly in astonishment at the gifts that are presented in front of you on the table. You spot a few of your favourite scented candles stacked on top of each other, a bottle of perfume that you were 100% sure that was sitting in your wishlist on an online store you were browsing a few days prior and a miniature bag with the logo of your favourite jewellery store. 
You feel overwhelmed, the urge to cry becoming harder to keep at bay as your eyes water and sting, throat tightening over how thoughtful Mark had been. You turn your head towards him with your bottom lip quivering and Mark snickers, pulling a party hat from god knows where and comes closer to you
“You asshole” You insult jokingly, using the sleeves of your shirt to wipe at your eyes, hoping that the tears wouldn’t dare fall as Mark secures the pointed hat on top of your head. You point to it, “Isn’t this a little cheesy?”
Mark rolls his eyes, snapping the elastic bad against your chin for extra measure and you hiss at the slight sting it causes, punching his arm in retaliation but he pays no mind, smiling to himself as he faces his back to you as he pulls open the refrigerator door to pick up a white squared box. He balances it on the palm of his hand with ease, using his foot to kick the refrigerator door shut as he makes his way back to you.
You’re grinning widely at the thought of what could be inside the box even though you’ve already guessed its cake, rubbing your hands together excitingly as Mark places it on the counter and gently slides it over to you, the box still in his grasp as it stops in front of you, drumming his fingers on the cardboard. 
Sensing your eagerness, Mark lifts the lid off of the box and the excitement on your face drops almost instantly, turning blank as you peek inside to see the miniature watermelon themed cake staring back at you. You raise your head at Mark who’s already grinning at you, tongue poking at his cheek as he opens up a drawer to retrieve two plastic forks, twiddling them between his fingers.
You deadpan, “Are you sure we’re not celebrating your birthday right now?”
“Shut up, you like watermelon just as much as I do” Mark scoffs, handing you one of the plastic forks and you take it out of his grasp with a smile. You go to take a piece but Mark makes a weird noise, causing you to freeze mid cut. “Wait—dude—jesus, let me take a photo first”
You roll your eyes but happily oblige as Mark fishes his phone out of his pocket and angles it towards you. You pose, pointing to the cake with a wide grin, almost blinded by the flash when Mark takes the picture and you immediately rub at your eyes, trying to get rid of the blotches with a few creative curse words that make Mark laugh.
He quickly takes this opportunity to slide beside you and holds his phone high to take a selfie of you both. You poke out your tongue, using your free hand to make bunny ears behind Mark’s head who grins and uses his own free hand to grip your cheeks and squeeze to force you into pulling a weird face. 
Before you have the chance to complain, you gasp in shock when you feel the coldness of the cake’s frosting touch your cheek and the shutter of the camera goes off when Mark takes another photo, capturing you mid chaos as you dig your fingers into the side of the cake to smush a piece against his cheek, grinning evilly as the green frosting covers his skin.
“Alright, I deserved that” Mark sighs with a light laugh, making sure his phone is tucked away and out of the icing zone. “Makes a good blackmail photo though, don’t you think?”
“If that goes anywhere, I will kill you”
“You already know that's going on my Instagram, baby~” Mark teases you and you scoff jokingly, shaking your head as you reach for the napkins that are laying on the side, trying your best to wipe away the frosting before it drops and stains your clothing. 
Mark manages to clean himself easily but notices you struggling, deciding to help you out as he picks up another napkin and takes a hold of your chin, facing you towards him as he gently taps at your cheek, careful not to rub too hard at your skin.
You’re suddenly aware of the close proximity and you grow silent, watching as he cleans you up. The concentrated look on his face causes your stomach to whirl and chest feel warm, his brows furrowed and eyes narrowed in on the area he needs to clean, tongue swiping over his bottom lip.
“Mark…” You call out his name softly to grab his attention and he pauses, staring right at you. He seems to notice how close you both are too as he takes in the limited space between you both, slowly taking his hand away from your face but he stops himself with a quiet noise, bringing his hand back to finish his job.
“Happy birthday, dude” Mark whispers to you as he finally wipes the frosting off of your cheeks, smiling down at you with adoration swirling in his eyes.
Your breathing stops for a moment at the affectionate gaze, unsure of what to say or what to do with him looking at you the way he is. Your hands move up to take the birthday hat off of your head, dropping it to the side carelessly as you curl your arms around his shoulders, pushing up onto your tiptoes to embrace him.
Mark’s arms slither around your waist, holding you close to his chest as he hugs you back, burying his face in the crevice of your neck and exhaling deeply.
“I’m so thankful” You mutter, squeezing him tight as the emotions within you struggle to be contained. “Truly, Mark. I’m grateful too… Thank you for making this birthday special again”
“It’s not over yet, you know” You hear him mumble. You go to pull back, to ask him what more he could possibly give you to top everything else but he’s already bending his knees, arms falling down to lock around your thighs and throwing you over his shoulder with a huff, smacking his hand roughly against your ass as he carries your giggly self to the bedroom.
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Friday nights will always be your favourite nights to let loose and party: dressing up in your prettiest outfit that makes you feel confident, decorating your body with the shiniest jewellery you own and drinking the most intoxicating drink you could find while mingling with your friends.
Talking with your girls face to face after a week of classes had unfailingly lifted your mood, catching up with all the gossip you missed or briefly discussed over the phone, adding your own two cents into a situation which they eagerly agree with a nod their heads, tapping their cups to yours before taking a sip.
“Speaking of unusual relationships—” Sakura, one of your dearest friends, speaks up as she turns to look at you with a grin. “—girl, how’s it going with you and Mark? Things turned weird yet?”
“Nope” You shake your head, buzzing happily. “We’re fine. The whole hooking up with your best friend culture isn’t as complicated as everyone makes it out to be. Everyone gets dramatic about that shit”
Sua lets out a heavy sigh, nursing her drink in her hand. “I don’t know how you do it… I couldn’t imagine hooking up with Yeonjun. I mean, he’s attractive, but we’ve seen and know too much about each other to get physical on an intimate level. Props to you”
Heejin looks at you. “Do you still fuck Jaemin?”
“On occasion” You admit. “But honestly, I’ve been so wrapped in assignments—”
“And Mark”
You give Sakura a smirk, “—that I haven’t really had time to call up Jaemin and ask to fuck. Besides, he doesn’t mind. He’s been busy smoking and selling weed for extra cash”
“What about Mark? Is he still fucking around?”
You pause at that, lips pursing deep in thought before you shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know. I haven’t asked recently”
Sua gestures over your shoulder, “Looks like you’re about to find out the answer”
You crane your neck to follow the direction she’s pointing in, noticing Mark standing near a back wall with a drink in hand, deep in conversation with Arin who’s smiling and nodding to each word he’s speaking to her. 
Feeling your eyes on him, Mark looks up to capture your gaze, raising his drink in greeting and you grin, lifting your own cup and watching as he resumes back in conversation. 
You take in his appearance with interest: a baggy white shirt paired with some loose fitted pants and doc martens you’re certain he stole from Donghyuck. A silver chain hangs from his neck and a cap sits backwards on the top of his head, you stifle a laugh at how much of a fuckboy he looks but you must admit, he looks good.
“Subtle with the lovey dovey eyes, sweetheart” Sakura teases, nudging your shoulder to bring your attention back to her and you laugh, tipping your head back to finish the contents of your drink. “He looks good though, so I don’t blame you”
“When was the last time you fucked Mark?” You aim your question towards Heejin who shrugs her shoulders.
“I don’t remember” She smacks her lips together. “Definitely more than two months, that’s for sure… No disrespect to you but god I miss his cock. How he walks around with that thing completely baffles me”
Sua's eyes widen. “Is Mark’s cock big?”
“Yes” You and Heejin answer instantly, causing you both to laugh and high five each other. You drone out the complaints Sua makes about wanting to fuck someone with a huge cock and how Yeonjun always recommends her people that are both shitty in bed and lack personality, too focused on looking around the room to find a clear path to get more drinks, dismissing yourself from the girls for a moment as you spot Jeno and Jaemin pouring vodka into each others cups.
You bound over to your boys, throwing your arms around their shoulders and startling them both with your presence, but Jaemin lazily smiles when he sees it's you and presses a chaste kiss to your temple as Jeno pats the back of your head in greeting, offering to fill your cup up which you happily give him.
“Where have you been?” Jaemin asks you, taking your hand in his and whirls you around, whistling lowkey as he takes in your dress. “You look pretty”
“Catching up with my girls because I spend way too much time with you guys” You explain, but cheesily grin at the compliment he gives you on your outfit and bow. Jeno hands you your drink back and you thank him, taking a quick sip as your eyes glance around the room. “Where’s the rest of the guys anyway?”
“Donghyuck’s trying to get laid and Renjun’s around here somewhere chatting up a girl from his classes” Jeno informs, gulping down his drink with ease. “Mark’s been talking with Arin for the past hour—sweet girl is trying to make her move”
“Why aren’t you trying to show off your charms tonight?”
Jeno stares at you suggestively, smirking behind the rim of his cup. “Why would I when I got you and Jaemin right here?”
Your tongue pokes at your cheek, struggling to fight the urge not to smile. “Not funny. It was a one time thing, Lee… You were only there because Jaemin felt guilty he couldn’t last long enough to make me cum”
“Still had you screaming on my dick though” Jeno teases, gently knocking his fingers against your cheeks as you laugh. “And don’t worry, I haven’t told anyone. Pretty sure if I tell Donghyuck I actually did get to fuck you before him, he’d end up losing his mind”
You ponder it for a moment, “It would be kind of funny though”
“What would be funny?”
“Donghyuck!” You squeal as he appears beside Jeno, staring at you all with a confused look but grins when you throw yourself in his arms to hug him tightly, swaying you both back and forth. “I thought you were trying to get laid?”
“I was” Donghyuck sighs, pulling away from the hug but keeping an arm wrapped around your middle. “But she had a boyfriend and he’s, like, six foot something and I didn’t feel like getting my ass handed back to me by slenderman himself”
You pout, pinching his cheek. “What a shame. The dry spell continues”
Donghyuck leans into your touch, batting his eyelashes prettily at you with a smirk. “You can change that for me if you want”
“In your dreams”
Donghyuck sighs jokingly, dropping his head low as his shoulders sag. “Guess I’ll keep on dreaming then. You sound even prettier when you’re moaning my name there—”
“What’s going on?”
The sound of Mark’s voice speaking up behind you causes you to whiz around quickly, beaming as your eyes meet his but it falters slightly when you notice the fake smile he’s sporting, wanting to turn the question around and ask him what’s going on. 
But you didn’t want to bring attention to the subject, knowing it’ll make Mark uncomfortable putting him on the spot despite him continuously being open with the others. It’s not something to speak publicly about if it’s serious.
You touch his arm and give him a comforting squeeze to which he seems to relax, using your grip on him to tug you into his side and for Donghyuck’s arm to slip from your waist.
“The usual. Donghyuck trying to get her into his bed” Jeno fills him in, fishing a strawberry flavoured vape out of his pocket to take a drag and Jaemin retches at the smell, wafting it away with his hand. “How’s Arin?”
“Fine” Mark quips, licking at his lips as he turns to you. “Do you want to get out of here? Just me and you”
Donghyuck immediately takes offence to that, “What about us? We all came here together, man!”
“I’m taking her home to fuck her, Hyuck” Mark deadpans, giving him an unamused look while your tummy swirls with excitement. “Do you want to watch?”
“Well—”
“I was kidding”
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You’re in complete bliss with Mark hovering above you, your back arched, bare chest pressed to his as he nips and licks at your neck, his hips lazily grinding into yours, cock hitting deeper than he’s ever been.
The pace is slow, something that you’re not used to when it comes to Mark, but you don’t find the voice within yourself to complain, fingers winding through his hair with cries spilling from your lips, legs hooking over his waist.
He’s grunting in the crevice of your neck with each deep thrust, one hand caressing the side of your face while the other rests beside your head, stopping himself from laying his entire body weight on you.
You’re whining from the loss of contact when he moves his head away, missing the feeling of his teeth on your skin and looking up at him pleadingly but he’s frozen staring down at you, despite his hips thrusting automatically into you.
“Fuck, you’re so pretty” You barely hear him mumble and your heart pounds in your chest at the compliment, body feeling a little more heated and warm.
“Mark—”
He cuts off your words by planting his lips on yours with the most sweetest and soft kiss, and you melt into the touch, fingers untangling from his hair to cup his cheeks in your palms, gasping through the kiss as Mark’s cock slowly pulls out of your pussy before pushing back in, causing electricity to shoot up your spine.
The band in your tummy tightens with each slow but powerful thrust he gives you, thighs quivering around his frame, unable to keep up with his kisses as your mouth falls open with short gasps and whines, white specs flickering in your vision as you feel yourself inching closer and closer over the edge.
“Cum” Mark whispers, breath fanning over your face. “Do it. Cum on my cock”
You wail as the band snaps, orgasm crashing down on you violently. Your body convulses, pussy squeezing around his cock, keeping him buried deep which has him moaning, his own hips stuttering as he cums. You feel him pulsing inside, painting your walls white as he fills you up.
Mark’s head slumps down on your shoulder as you try to catch your breath, cringing and wincing as you feel him slowly moves his hips back to pull his cock out of your sensitive pussy, your hand falling from his face to drop down to your centre, gathering his cum that pools out on your fingers.
“I’m sorry” Mark mumbles against your skin. “I’m sorry, I—shit, I should’ve asked if I could, you know—” Mark raises his hand to make a jerking off motion which causes you to snort. “—I got too overwhelmed. I’m sorry”
“It’s kinda cute that you’re apologising” You admit, gently pushing him off of your body to sit upright. “But you don’t need to apologise. This isn’t the first time you came in me, Mark”
“I know” Mark runs his fingers through his sweaty bangs. “I usually ask though”
“Mark. It’s fine” You reassure him, placing your palm on his bicep. “I’ll forgive you if you help clean me up though”
Mark smiles softly as he slips off of the bed, disappearing out of the room for a moment and returning with a wet towel. He sits between your legs as he gently cleans up the mess, gently dabbing around your sensitive areas and whispering apologies after apologies every time you hiss at the contact, thighs closing around his hand which he carefully pries open to resume his job.
You watch in silence as he cleans you up and you frown at the troubled look you see on his face, not used to seeing Mark being so closed up with his feelings and emotions. Mark hasn’t been open with you in a few weeks, he hasn’t come to you and asked for your reassurance or help. It makes you feel a little bit defeated.
Something was different, and you struggled to pinpoint what it was. 
The questions lay on the tip of your tongue, desperate to be asked and even more desperate to get the answers you’ve been craving. Your relationship with Mark has changed since the proposition you’ve made about sleeping together, but he was still your best friend.
“What’s going on?” You finally ask. Mark freezes, hand clutching the wet towel in his grasp tightly. “And don’t lie to me. I can tell when you’re being truthful or not—”
“What am I to you?” Mark questions and you're a little stunned at your question being answered with his own question. He takes his hand away as you blink at him, feeling confused. “Even with all, like, this going on… what am I to you?”
“You’re my best friend?” 
Mark seems to frown deeply at that, “So nothing has changed? At all? Even with us sleeping together? I’m still your best friend?”
“I—of course!” You’re baffled, assuming that with the way Mark is speaking about yours and his situation that he was worried that you’d have negative feelings towards him. You’re eager to reassure him, to let him know that everything is okay. “Mark, you’ll always be my best friend. We promised nothing would change. I’m keeping that promise”
Mark closes his eyes as his shoulders sink, “Dude, I—” He drops his head with a sigh. “I can’t do this anymore”
“Do what?” You ask quietly, bringing your knees up to your chest.
“This” He gestures between the two of you. “I just—I can’t. Not anymore. I can’t continue sleeping with you”
“Oh” You swallow thickly, a little surprised. “Why?”
“Things have changed” His voice is quieter now and it makes your heart crumble at the tone. Does he hate you? “I can’t continue whatever this is and be your best friend. It has to stop, it—” Mark sighs, rubbing at his forehead. “It can’t go on, I’m sorry”
“It’s okay” You mumble as your chin rests on your knees, hugging your legs closer to your chest to cover your modesty. You refuse to look at him now, finding interest in the sheets below you both as your throat tightens at the thought of him hating you so much that he can’t do anything with you no more. “I’m sorry too, by the way. I don’t know what I did you make you hate me, but I—”
“Wait, what?”
“—I’m just sorry. Especially if I came across too strong and for putting you in such a position” You’re babbling your words now, unable to control yourself due to the overwhelmed feeling that washes over you. “Fuck, I’m so sorry”
“Wait. I don’t—”
“Let’s just not tell the others, okay?” You raise your head to meet his eyes this time. He’s looking straight at you, confusion and disbelief swimming in his irises but you ignore it, chewing the inner skin of your cheek. “Mostly Renjun. I don’t really want to hear him laugh in our faces and give us the whole ‘I told you so’ speech he threatened us with at the start”
Mark calls out your name softly and reaches out to touch you but you’re already climbing off of the bed, looking for your underwear and dress that was thrown across the room due to prior activities.
You’re too embarrassed to continue the conversation, to ask him what exactly you did to make him grow to hate you. Truthfully, you didn’t really want to dwell on it too much, the pain of losing someone like Mark already making your heart ache.
You just wanted to go home—to be in the comfort of your own bed and curse yourself out, and probably cry to the point you might forget everything that just happened. You are feeling a little teary, but you wouldn’t dare to cry in front of Mark right now.
“I’ll, uh, see you around” You mutter, shoving the heels onto your feet, casting one final look his way. “I’m sorry”
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It's been almost two weeks since your last encounter with Mark.
You shouldn’t be avoiding him like you are. It’s childish. But you can’t force yourself to face someone who used to be your best friend and now hates you. 
Maybe you should’ve waited a few more minutes, to give him time to explain the entire situation and how he was feeling but you were selfish, you didn’t want to hear him explain in detail what you had done to make him change his feelings towards you.
You miss him. Of course you miss him. He’s been your best friend for years—your other half, more like. There was no you without Mark and vice versa. You weren’t exactly sure on how you could continue functioning with Mark by your side, as dramatic as it sounds, but you’ve always been dramatic.
The other boys have been blowing up your phone—courtesy of you ignoring them too, not wanting to hear Renjun rub it in your face on how the ‘friends with benefits bullshit’ you had with Mark did actually go to shit. And you didn’t want to hear the others continuously question what had happened and what had changed.
Even your roommate, someone who keeps herself out of your business and hardly ever bothers you, had cornered you one morning at breakfast, asking why you looked so glum and why the ‘shirtless Canadian fuckboy’ wasn’t joining you both. 
You’re not the type to let anyone know your worries, but you’re surprised when you find yourself explaining to your roomie what happened.
She gave you a deadpanned look, calling you stupid for not staying behind and listening despite you voicing that you couldn’t bear to listen to why his feelings had suddenly turned negative towards you. Your face twisted and turned, offended at her harsh words but you allowed yourself to let her talk and not jump in even though you desperately wanted to.
“You’re jumped to your own conclusion” She told you when she was clearly up the dishes. “You know, for two close best friends who talk to each other every second of the day, you sure have some serious miscommunication issues”
So that’s what leads you to now: you sitting alone in the living room with your phone in hand, staring down at yours and Mark’s chat room with your thumb between your teeth, biting down on the skin anxiously as you try to figure out how to start a conversation, to let him know you will listen.
you: i think we need to talk.
mark: i’m almost at ur house anyway i had to go get something
you: ???? u coming over
mark: yeah mark: i was going to make u listen to me mark: its important dude.
You snort at his last message, sending a quick thumbs up emoji before throwing your phone to the side, awaiting his arrival. You catch your leg nervously bobbing in the corner of your vision and your brows furrow, placing your hand down on your knee and squeezing tight. As if that will stop you from feeling nervous.
You’re about to hear the reason why Mark’s feelings had changed for you so negatively, nothing can prepare you for it. Bite the bullet. Take it like a champ. 
The rapid knock on the door rips you out of your thoughts, slowly turning your head with a confused look plastered across your face. Was that Mark? Mark never knocks—he freely walks in like it’s his own place usually, always makes himself at home.
You push yourself up from the sofa and make your way towards the door, peeping through the hole to see Mark’s form, teeth nibbling at his bottom lip with his hands behind his back, swaying back and forth nervously. You grow even more confused and concerned, unlocking the door and pulling it open to face him fully.
“Why did you kno—”
“Hate you?!” He cuts you off with a shout, immediately startling you with his tone. His eyes are wide as he stares at you, full of disbelief. “Hate you, I—jesus christ—how could I hate you?! Dude, I’d never hate you… god, you’re so frustrating sometimes”
Your lips quirk upwards, “Nice to see you too”
“I don’t hate you, at all… When I said to you that things have changed, I didn’t mean anything bad by it… it’s actually quite the opposite…” Mark trails off and before you can get the chance to ask him to explain what he means, your breath hitches at the back of your throat as he pulls his hands from behind his back: a bag of jellies in one and a handful of ripped up flowers in the other. Your heart thumps rapidly. “I’m going to tell you something and I just—I need you to listen”
You barely whisper, “Okay”
“Being in this friends with benefits relationship with you was not as easy as I thought it was going to be” Mark tells you, his honesty making you pull your attention away from the things in his hands to his eyes. “We promised each other that we’re not going to involve any of that official or exclusive title bullshit to make it complicated for us… yet here I am standing in front of you right now with the same jellies and flowers  in my hand from when we first met about to confess my fucking feelings to you, I’m so—”
“You’re rambling” You cut him off quietly, a smile creeping onto your lips.
“Right, yeah, of course I am” Mark laughs with a shake of his head, awkwardly scratching his neck before he straightens out, keeping his eyes on yours. “I fell for you. I think I sort of realised it on your birthday but I didn’t want to say anything just in case I wasn’t really thinking straight… but when we were at that party and I saw the guys flirting with you, I realised how much I actually do like you and that it wasn’t my dick talking”
You snort as you repeat, “Dick talking”
“Shut up” He smiles at you, his own laugh fleeting past his lips. “I’m in love with you, dude. And I totally get it if you want to reject me because of how weirdly this turned out but, uh, I would like to continue seeing you if I could be your... boyfriend”
You’re too busy repeating his confession in your head to notice that Mark is waiting for an answer, bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he bites down nervously, visibly shaking for excitement or the fact that he just confessed his entire feelings—you weren’t sure.
The silence from you kills Mark, and his face drops when you step forward to quietly take the flowers and the jellies out of his hand and step back inside the house. His shoulders slump in defeat, taking your non verbal response as a rejection to his proposal  of him being your boyfriend and he goes to turn around, to get the fuck off of your doorstep and hope that the intense embarrassment that he feels coursing through his veins is enough to make him disappear quickly.
But he freezes mid escape when he hears the rustling of you ripping open the pack of jellies, turning his head to see you looking at him with the most gentlest smile. He watches, chest erupting with warmth as you reach your arm out, angling the treat in his direction and a grin spreads across his face, unable to control the giggles that leave him. 
You’re giving him a jelly, you’re giving him a relationship.
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 ©𝗠𝗥𝗞𝗜𝗦
6K notes · View notes
abbyromanoff · 7 months
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YOU’LL ALWAYS BE MINE
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PAIRINGS: Wanda Maximoff x reader
WORD COUNT: 2,475
WARNINGS: angst, cheating, divorce, depression, fluff, mind manipulation, the hex being created, pregnancy, kinda dark, think that’s all :)
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!
Wanda hummed as the flavors hit her taste buds, her eyes directed at you as she smiled warmly.
“How do you like the dinner, sweetheart?” You grinned beneath the fork inside your mouth, instantly returning your lips back to a thin line when her eyes left you.
“Well, I hope you’d like it, I spent many hours prepping this.” She chuckled, giving your hand a squeeze from across the table. You still didn’t utter a word, she was growing concerned.
“What’s wrong, baby?” You shrugged, nervously playing with your food as you bit the inside of your cheek, a habit you started and failed to stop, much to Wanda’s liking.
“C’mon, you can talk to me, that’s what I’m here for.” You looked up, noticing her intense gaze that showed she knew exactly what you were going to say.
“You still haven’t signed the papers.” Her body tensed, her eyes shutting as she sighed. Her hand balled into a tight fist as she continued to eat. She could see you were lacking the ring on your finger, the sight making her want to crawl into a corner and cry her eyes out. There was no way out of this, she realized, so she had to make one.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”
“My fucking God, Wanda,” You slammed your hands down, standing as you paced urgently. She refused to look, instead finding her meal all the more interesting.
“You’re pathetic, you know that? You can’t sign some fucking papers, really? This marriage has been ruined the moment you slept with that tramp.” The realization made her throat tighten, tears nearly ready to spill from her loopy eyes.
“I told you it was a mistake, it meant nothing-”
“That doesn’t stop the fact that it happened, Wanda! Do you think it’s easy for me to have to live here daily? To see you and constantly be reminded of what you did? I worked so hard to even convince myself I was worthy of you, and you go and do this?” She cowered down, wiping her hands on the small cloth in her lap while you stared at her, nostrils flared and eyebrows furrowed.
“I’m sorry-”
“Sorry doesn’t fix what you did-”
“God, will you let me fucking speak?” She yelled, growing frustrated with the constant interruption. You didn’t refute, instead placing your hands on your hips as you waited for her voice to return.
“I told you, I was drunk and she looked so much like you. We were fighting, I was upset, you were too, so I went out and got wasted to the point I could barely walk. I saw her there and I…I let her take me home, but when I woke up I- I realized what I did and I knew I fucked up.”
“Yeah, you did.” You already heard the story before, the same one that haunted you in your dreams. You imagined someone else being able to hear the moans she promised were only for you, it made you violently ill.
“I made a promise to you, and I plan to keep it. I will never, and I mean never, touch a drink again. I won’t even look in another woman’s direction because I don’t need to when I have my wife right in front of me. My perfect, breathtaking, loving wife that I care for so much.” She wrapped her arms around your waist as she dropped to her knees, placing her forehead against your thigh.
“Please, baby, I don’t know how many times I have to apologize before you forgive me, but I’ll continue to tell you for the rest of my life.” She placed small kisses against the covered skin, feeling the warmth that you supplied, the same warmth that brought her comfort at night. Now it brought her shame and guilt, but she’d rather carry that burden for the rest of her life than lose you for even a moment.
“I don’t want to have to be reminded of what you did for the rest of my life, Wanda. I’m constantly having someone down my ear telling me how terrible you are, and how I should never forgive you. For fucks sake, even our friends have told me to leave you! How am I going to look them in the eye again knowing all they see is someone who’s too gullible to even leave their cheating wife?” You sobbed, and the look on your face only brought misery to the woman. You seemed so lost, so exhausted, and she was the cause.
“I know, I know, and none of this is fair to you, and I’m so sorry I caused this-”
“Stop saying sorry. Please, I can’t do this.” You begged, your voice cracking as you drew more emotions.
“But I mean it! I never want you to feel like I don’t want you because I want you more than anything. I need you, Y/N, I need you in my life.” It was true, she didn’t know how to properly function without you. You were the only one who kept her going, you were the one who held her when she felt like she couldn’t stand. When she was ready to give up, she had you holding her back. Without you, she’d be nothing.
“You say you need me, but you don’t consider what I need. And what I need is for you to let me go, and sign the papers.” You wanted to give in, to fall into her embrace and let her make it up to you. But you couldn’t, your mind would never let you forget the scene you walked in on. And maybe you’d still remember it vividly without her, but at least you wouldn’t have to be in the exact place it happened with the person who did it. At least you could move on and find someone who wouldn’t hurt you like this, intoxicated or not.
“No- no, I won’t do it.” Tear stains painted your shirt from where her head rested, you knew you’d have to throw this out sooner than later.
“Wanda, please, just do it.” You squeezed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to ignore her pleas.
“But-”
“I’m begging you, Wanda. If you truly loved me, you’d want me to be happy.” She rushed towards you when you tried to escape her tight hold.
“You’re happier with me-”
“I can’t be happy with you, not when I can’t stop thinking about what you did. It ruined me, Wands, and it continues to haunt me every breathing moment.” The nickname brought a crack to her rotting heart. Her body felt like it was decaying the more you pulled away and the more she tried to hold on.
“You’re going to sign the papers. And then I’ll be gone. This is best for the both of us, you’ll learn to live without me.” She felt as though she was going to be sick, why were you still denying her? She couldn’t let you go. No, she couldn’t.
You leaned down to her level, moving the hair that covered her face out of the way. You cupped her cheeks, smiling sadly as her sobs caused her hands to shake lightly. She reached out hopefully, copying your action and bringing herself closer.
“Can I- can I have one last kiss, at least?” You looked down, sighing as you shook your head before returning her gaze.
“If I kiss you, I don’t think either of us will be able to stop.”
“That’s not a bad thing, is it?” You chuckled, and it felt like music to her ears. She smiled warmly, even though her chest tightened and her breath cut short.
“I love you, Wanda, I always will. Maybe we were just never meant to be, and that’s okay. But if I don’t let you go now, I’ll never be able to be happy.” But you could’ve been meant to be, she realized. You could’ve been the best, most loving couple. Your kids would’ve grown up in a healthy, safe household full of love. But that all came to an end when that night left her hopeless, she pleaded with God constantly to rid her actions but they were never heard.
“I love you too, Y/N, and I want you to be happy, I just wish I could’ve been the reason.”
“You were.” The past tense was what caused her body to crash into yours. She lost all control as your arms brought her a sense of comfort she lacked for so long.
“I’m sorry I failed you.”
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In a few months, the divorce was being settled and you officially moved out. You had been staying with a friend for some time, and she was more than happy to help you out. She had been in a similar situation before, so it was clear what she had to do when she saw you standing on her front porch. Wanda thought she would be able to see you when you would gather your stuff from her place, but a multitude of your friends went instead, all of them giving glares to the older woman as she refused to look at the empty home. It seemed wrong without your stuff here, and all she had were pictures of the two of you that she couldn’t remove.
She felt hopeless as time progressed, and the lack of messages or calls from you only made time move slower. Every day felt like a decade as she failed to execute basic human needs. She often struggled to get out of bed or brush her teeth, and now it’s been two days since she last showered. She wondered how you were, she hoped you weren’t in such a horrid state like herself. But a part of her also hoped you were, just so she knew you still cared.
Eventually, it all became too much. She hadn’t slept in her bed in over a year, the constant reminder that another laid where you once were disgusted her. The couch had become her home, but even the couch seemed to shame her. Her favorite movies didn’t feel the same without you laughing with her. The sitcoms she loved so much now annoyed her; she had changed completely, and it was all her fault.
She couldn’t hold it back anymore, she broke. Her small, empty home in the town of Westview became full once again. She didn’t know what happened. One moment she was sobbing uncontrollably while huddling close to the stuffed animal she had won for you on your first date, then the plain walls filled with hope. Her heart slowly gained a beat, and her hands felt warm again. She stood in front of a door, her fist finding the wood and creating a small knock.
“It’s open!” She heard, and she stopped in her tracks. It was you, it was your angelic voice that was slowly fading from her mind. She gulped fearfully before twisting the knob, letting her legs take control as she stepped forward.
“Love, you’re home!” You greeted with a smile, turning to face her as Wanda’s eyes fell on the toddler being held in your arms. She had the same hair as Wanda, and while it wasn’t easy to spot from so far away, she could see her green, piercing eyes looking back at her. The child giggled and pointed her chubby finger her way, causing a smile to break out on her face.
“Everything alright, sweetie?” You asked when she didn’t move, her mouth agape and her hands nearly releasing the briefcase she held.
“Yes…everything is just perfect, my love.” She mustered out, rushing towards your figure and embracing you in a tight hold. The replica of her was left with a small kiss to her forehead before she took her into her arms, blowing raspberries on her exposed tummy. Alana giggled again, and it felt like Wanda’s ear would explode. She felt like she was dreaming, only this wasn’t the nightmare she fought with every night. No, this time you were here to cure her.
“Momma!” She heard from a distance, seeing a young boy running to greet her. He hugged her leg tightly, causing Wanda to stumble before she leaned down, ruffling his hair before she gave him a small side hug, the baby in her arms restricting her from embracing him as much as she wanted to.
“Hey, kiddo! How was your day?”
“It was amazing! Me, Mommy, and Alana made dinner!” She gasped, showing her appreciation towards the excited boy before he ran off to the kitchen as she requested. He was still too young to carry his little sister, so she continued to do so.
“And hello to you, my sweet baby.” Wanda placed a small kiss against your stomach, placing her hand against the bump and rubbing her thumb in small, soothing circles.
“Have they been giving you any trouble today?” She asked, resulting in a small sigh from your end.
“They’ve been kicking all day. I swear, if they’re not professional soccer players, I don’t know what else they’ll do.” Wanda laughed before leaving multiple pecks to your lips, grasping your hand in hers before leading you to the kitchen.
“Well, it’s only a few more months until they’ll be out of you, I know you can do it.” You stopped in your tracks, eyeing her and causing the taller woman to stall. Nobody wanted to see you angry, especially when you were pregnant.
“First of all, I don’t see you carrying two demons in your stomach, so I’d shut up if I were you. And, second of all, this is the third time I’m doing this, you are no longer allowed to go without a condom.” She placed her hand on her chest as if she was offended and you grinned, leaving a kiss on her cheek before walking through the kitchen door where your son laid out all the dishes for you four. You thanked him before he climbed onto his seat, still finding himself to be too short for the chairs you had. Wanda placed your daughter in the high chair before taking the seat next to her. You noticed her smiling large, her eyes being filled with more joy than usual.
“What’s got you all happy?” She admired the scene in front of her, Pietro Jr and Alana sitting peacefully, both of them sharing the genes she was blessed with. Her partner, smiling back at her while they carried her twins, she couldn’t have asked for anything more.
“Oh, nothing, I’m just thinking about how lucky I am to have all of you.” You blushed, tilting your head slightly as you bit your lip.
“Well, that’s never going to change, sweetheart.” ‘I’ll make sure of it’, she thought.
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934 notes · View notes
salaciousdoll · 8 months
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✩˚。⋆ ⋆ ⋆ Girl Ride ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ˚。✩
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・˳ . ⋆ brought to you by Shinichiro Sano x Chubby!Fem!reader ・˳ . ⋆
Synopsis: Shinichiro takes you on a ride, will you hop on or no?
୨୧ ⁺⁎˚ ⋆━━ Be advised to the warnings of smut, Cockwarming, Cheating( a bunch of cheating with both of your relationships), exhibition( heavy here), public sex, agoraphilia, fat pussy justice here, final timeline au, shin is a bit cocky here and it’s because of you, implied creampie, big dick!Shin, voyeurism, 1st generation black dragons take a ride with you and Shin, Izana is your ex boyfriend who cheats on you with Shin’s girlfriend, your bestfriend is shin’s gf, do not try this in real life or else you’re can potentially end up on the se* offender list( you are warned), wrap it up everyone, pet names( Princess, doll, butterfly, and little mama by Benkei), I just feel like he’ll call girls he like that sorry not sorry, let me know if I missed anything
Wc: 3.1k
Minors do not interact, 18+
ෆ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ┈•゚Note from Salaciousdoll: I hope you all enjoy this just as much I enjoyed writing this. I haven’t been in the writing part of the fandom in a long time, so take this as a peace offering for neglecting these beautiful men and you girlies and guys that’s been following me because of them. These are my writing roots and I couldn’t completely forget about them, so thank you all and I hope you enjoy again. And again, do not try this for real specially on a motorcycle
゚•┈୨ Salaciousber Masterlist ୧┈•゚。. •┈୨ Taglist ୧┈•゚。
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The leaves were idyllic as they danced their way down the trees and onto the sidewalk in front of Shinichiro’s SS motors shop with Inupi. The sky was pitch black with brown clouds gathering across it since it was night. The season of fall was beautiful everywhere and you just couldn’t stop staring at the colorful leaves as four men spoke in the background. One of them was the man your “best friend” cheated on. The man was so quick to forgive her for her wrongs, but you weren’t. The feeling of being cheated on by your bestfriend and man hurts so much. You couldn’t understand what made her cheat on Shinichiro with your man.
The man you liked but didn’t love. She broke the girl code with him. Girl code you two valued ever since you were younger or in this case, teenagers. It was sickening to your stomach when you saw the video tape she sent to Shinichiro, it’s like she wanted to break the poor man's heart. The video did more damage to you than Shin by virtue of the movements and positions they did. What really got you when Shin showed it to you was the way he and she were laughing it up on camera. The words and phrases of “ stoppp, not anymore.” Or “ wouldn’t want them to find out so hush” were stamped into your head and as you looked closely, you noticed the settings of where they were fucking. In your bedroom and at the Halloween party you threw. The cat girl costume she had on and the ugly ass king costume he had on gave it away as well.
And how you know it was your room they were fucking in, the cheetah print sheets with the pink fur runner across the bed gave it away. You were so glad you didn’t sleep on your bed that night, instead you slept in Shinichiro’s bed. You and Shin were never supposed to happen but a part of you was glad it happened. His friends have been wanting y’all to happen since you got introduced to him by his cheating ass girlfriend, the same girl who introduced you to your boyfriend on the same day. His friends hated how love sick Shinichiro was over your friend. He needed better and you were better for him mainly because they saw how you were with your boyfriend when he came around his brother and friends—visiting the shop. So when Shinichiro told them of his scandal, during that moment; he got the video message from his girlfriend. You found out a day later and now you frequently visit Shinichiro and his friends at the shop.
You were still lost in your head when you heard a loud shout of your name being called, snatching you out of the daydream, you turned to the voice and saw Shinchiro smiling at you with his hand out, “ Let’s go riding, Doll.” That nickname, that’s the same nickname he called you while he was deep in your guts.
You smiled at the little snippet of your memory prior to taking his hand in yours and walking to his bike. You were about to get on when he suddenly turned to his friends, “ You all can go ahead, have to talk to { reader}. Meet ya’ out there?”
Wakasa nodded as Takeomi patted Shinichiro on the back and Benkei put his hand on Shinichiro’s head, ruffling his hair. They all left with smirks— looking at Shinichiro as they left, you raised an eyebrow, “ What’s wrong?”
Sitting on his bike, Shinichiro grabbed your hand and smiled up at you, “ I remember our conversation that night about how you wanted to experience exhibition and bike riding, let’s do it while we ride in the night, on the highway .” Your eyes widened and you looked around to see if anyone heard him, nobody was near you two.
He laughed and pointed to the front of the shop since you were in the back of the shop, “ Inupi’s up there handling closing the shop up so don’t worry about him and you should know that everyone else is out in the front waiting for us on their bikes. Hop on princess, cockwarm me as I drive us to a spot we went when we were your age and see the star in the big black ink.”
You laughed at his description of the sky, “ How is it gonna work? We could go to jail and end up on the register sex offender list Shin, we both don’t need to be on there and besides it was just something to lead to us fucking, I didn’t think you actually listened.”
Shinchiro squeezed your hand and looked at you with his pretty onyx eyes, “ We’re not gonna get caught because of you facing me while I drive us and besides you’re not moving an inch, the ride is. But say the word no and we can just stay here, doesn’t matter to me. I just want to be around you.” This was so wrong, especially when you were starting to feel something for Shinichiro after weeks together. That’s abnormal. This entire situation was because you were becoming no better than your best friend.
You thought about it and wanted to do it badly, especially with the ex-1st generation black dragon leader. You are years younger than the 43 year old— tempting automatically. Older man with a motorcycle was your dream, so you for sure said yes. He hurried to unzip his pants and stroked his hard cock three times. Fuck, you missed the feeling of his cock inside of you. Large and fulfilling were the words to describe him. Such a beautiful cock too, illustrated with a pretty, tan-blushed tip with one vein running on the side. The curve of his cock was so unique and beautiful to you, it curved to the right. He didn’t have a bunch of hair, it was trimmed down. You wanted to suck him, but they’ll have to wait. You were so glad that Shincihiro had a crazy amount of sex appeal with or without showing his dick. You were wet as he was holding your hand, only getting wetter at the thought of fucking in public.
You were glad you were slightly trimmed and got in the shower before this get together with Shinichiro and his friends. You swiftly moved your pretty cheetah print panties to the side after lifting up your mini skirt. Your pussy was so pretty to Shinichiro and will always be pretty to him. Your pussy was so fat and pretty, especially with your panties pulled to the side. He watched you placed your legs on the side of his— watching the way you shook on his body was enough to make him fuck you even more when you two get to the destination.
Shinichiro paid attention to the way you bit your lip to hold back a loud moan erupting from how far he stretched you out, “ Don’t hold back on me, princess. You know the deal already.” You could hear the sternness in his voice and knew he wasn’t playing. You were taking your time and teasing him with the little roll of your hips. Shinichiro had enough of your teasing and grabbed a hold of your love handles or hips and slammed you down on his cock.
“ Ahnnn, so deep… s’deep inside .”, You moaned out with your head thrown back and your eyes closed tightly. Shinchiro groaned at your pussy locking in on him. This ride was gonna be torture and fun. He was about to say fuck it all and just fuck you right and now, but Takeomi’s annoying bangs on the window and annoying ass voice was yelling at them about “taking too damn long” and “hurry up”.
Shinichiro revved his engine up, earning a moan from you as you clenched around him even more. The clench of your pussy around him was like the butterfly effect due to him moaning right after you, almost cumming inside of you.
He rode out his garage to his shop with the bike still vibrating underneath you two. Your clit was heavily affected by this because vibrations to the most sensitive part of your body never goes well. Shinichiro spoke to you after smacking your ass with his large, clammy hand, “ Open your mouth, I want you to hold my spit until we get to the highway. Can you, nmgh, can you do that for me, my pretty princess? Breathe play, okay? You can always opt out and swallow anytime just prepare the consequences.”
He tapped your chin with his finger and you obliged happily— tilting your head, so he could spit inside of it. And he did. If you had to describe his spit, it would be a warm watery filling. Tasted like beer and cigarettes though, not a good taste, but you’ll accept anything Shinichiro gives you.
You tried to make yourself look normal since his spit was in your mouth as he drove near his friends. Takeomi had a cigarette hanging out his mouth when he yelled out, “ Finally, now let’s go and why is she sitting like that?”
Shinchiro had a smug look on his face and looked at you, watching as you shook your head, speaking afterwards, “ Ask her, not me.” He knew you couldn’t speak, yet he still included you in to speak. Being teased is no fun. Takeomi looked in your eyes and saw how they were beginning to water and knew what exactly was happening, you were cockwarming Shinichiro. Takeomi’s face could’ve almost morph into the grinch with the way he was smirking— revving up his engine and riding off with loud laughter.
Wakasa was confused so he asked you the famous question, “ Why are you sitting like that, { reader}? You just want to sit like that or…?” Wakasa trailed off his sentence with a smirk as he sucked on his lollipop.
Benkei took notice of how bad you were shaking and chuckled to himself— fist bumping Wakasa and then Shinichiro after, patting you on the head when he was done with them, “ Cockwarming him, little mama. You’re so naughty and bold tonight, hope you’re ready for the ride, little mama. Let see how long you can hold on until you break.”
Your whine was muffled and Shinichiro chuckled, “ She’s doing something else too. Wanna join in on the teasing boys. All you have to do is ask her questions about anything and everything, she can’t talk not once and that’s mainly due to my spit inside of her mouth. If she does swallow and answer a question, you join the fray. Let’s have fun like we’re young again.” Shinichiro revived his engine three more times, pulling off afterwards with Wakasa and Benkei in tow.
He turned the corner and rode down the street catching up to Takeomi, who was waiting for them to catch up. Shinichiro wanted you to have a helmet on, but he needed to see your facial expression when you cum on his cock.
Shin rode over a speed hump and you both elicited a moan out each of your mouths, “ Fuck, you’re doing s’good f’me, princess. Grind on that shit.” And you did, well tried. You moved your hips back and forth causing both of you to grip on something. He gripped on his motorcycle's handles and you gripped onto his back. His eyes almost closed and Waka snapped him out of it with a shout of his name. Shinichiro looked over at Waka as an answer, “ Keep your eyes open, Shin, I know it’s some amazing pussy, but you gotta not crash, alright?”
Shinichiro gulped and nodded his head, as for you, you were trying not to swallow his spit but a part of you wanted to swallow to get fucked by all of them. What can you say? They were handsome, older men. Perfect for you. You were in your mid 20s and they were in their early 40s.
Wakasa smirked at you as you looked at him from behind Shin’s head, “ You wouldn’t mind telling us why and how you thought of this? Shinichiro isn’t this crazy and daring.” Wakasa smiled when he saw you roll your eyes at the bump Shinichiro hit on purpose, meaning his cock was reaching your cervix, making you feel so good that it was torturing trying to answer his question and trying not to moan out loud.
Takeomi tried next with a wide ass smirk on his face as he asked the question, “ How would Izana feel knowing you’re out here fucking his older brother on his bike? Hmm.” You closed your eyes tightly and tried to ignore their shouts of questions.
Benkei shouted a question next as they all spread out prior to riding together again, passing by multiple cars. “ The question is how would Mikey feel as well? I mean, with knowing that his crush is fucking his older brother. He’s gonna be so mad at both of you.”
Your eyes suddenly popped open and you lifted your head about to swallow to answer until Shincihiro spoke, “ Remember, princess, you speak, you get punished.”
You sighed and wrapped your arms back around Shin’s neck, your cunt was squeezing around his cock so good. In your head, it was jumbled and mushiness. You tried to make out words but couldn’t because you were too fucked out without even being fucked properly.
In truth, you wanted to say that you didn’t know about Mikey’s crush on you so how did they know, yet the words just weren't coming to you. Shinichiro kept driving until they got to the stop light and when he did, he pressed the brakes hard— your pussy squelched as his cock thrusted into you. You couldn’t help but to let out a muffled moan, “ Mmmph!”
Shinchiro kissed you as he moved your hips up and down with his big hands. He was glad nobody was at the stop light since it’s like 2 am in the morning, still nighttime too. The other three men watched as he fucked you. Each wanting a piece of you as they saw you trying to hold yourself together, “ my pretty little, nngh! Shit! Tighten that pussy up for me, just like this.” You were fucking in public and hope you got caught by the police. The thrill of it all is all too much and you were sure you were about to squirt anytime soon.
When the light turned green, Shinchiro rode off so fast and you clenched tightly around him because of the emotion of fear creeping into your body like a ghost taking possession of you. Shinichiro laughed when Benkei said something but you couldn’t make it out since his engine was so damn loud, well all of their engines were loud as hell in the night, plus with the way his dick pulsed inside of you, you couldn’t hear anything.
Shinichiro finally got to the stoplight for you to enter the highway and his dick felt so good inside of you because he was driving down and then straight. Every movement of his bike, his cock thrusted into your pussy, giving you the dick you wanted and needed for a long time.
Once you all got into the lanes with Shinichiro in the middle lane and the other three behind him in the other lanes, you rode off with speed, probably going over the speed limit. The breeze on your face, through your clothes, and on your pussy was beautiful and added a cold feeling to your pleasure. You were in love with the night at the moment.
Shinchiro kissed you prior to licking your lips with his warm tongue, “ Swallow now, butterfly. You can swallow now. Let me hear those pretty moans.”
You hurried and swallowed his spit, letting out a huge exhale after inhaling in his spit for about two minutes max, “ Ahhn, I ne- need moreee. Give me more Chiro’. Want you to cum inside this pussy just so I could take it back to your brother.”
You had to yell it out and he loved it even more. Waka definitely had to get you after this because there’s no way a girl this bold can slip through his fingers. Benkei almost told Shinichiro to stop by a vacant parking lot off the highway, he wanted to fuck you until you were crying and messy. And Takeomi wanted your tits in his face whilst riding him until he’s drained and dry.
Shinichiro started to move in a zig zag motion, zooming past two or three cars to get back to an empty like highway, “ fuck, baby.” He lifted your skirt and smacked your ass, “ Wanna me to fill you up and send you back to my little brother, yeah? Such a dirty little slut he lost…” he then gripped the fat of your ass in one hand while his other hand was still on his bike, “ Let’s teach my little brother a lesson, shall we? Izana wouldn’t like it, but he should’ve thought twice about his decision. I Keep - uughhh- telling him that.``
Shinichiro’s moans were a beautiful melody and you couldn’t get enough of it. Shinchiro seen an exit and let you grip onto his back with one arm and his neck with the other as you continued to grind on him. Your orgasm hit you as soon as he swerved into the exit lane, “ Fu-uhhhhhh, thank you. Thank you. M’cummin. M’ gonn— unnnn.”
Your pussy convulsed around his cock like a heartbeat as you came undone on his cock especially with the three pairs of eyes trained on your face as you held onto Shinichiro. You didn’t care about anything or couldn’t care about anything at the moment because your orgasm made you see blackness.
Shinichiro orgasmed as soon as he got up the hill of the exit of the highway, so he had to pull over on the curb because if he didn’t, he would’ve crashed. “ Shit— baby, fucking perfect. Aah— my little brother is never getting you back. Mmmgh.” He meant every word he said and the men behind him knew he was for real.
You were still shaking against his chest as you held onto him tightly with his cock pumping cum into your pussy. He was sure that your cream was dripping down his cock and onto his pants. He laughed at the feeling and thought, kissing your forehead and rubbing your back, “ You did perfect for me, pretty princess. Perfect pussy, perfect body and moans. My perfect little doll.” Your eyes closed as he kept kissing your semi-sweaty forehead with his bike still rumbling underneath you. Your pussy was soon gonna go into overstimulation from it and he knew you needed more. You deserved more.
He turned his head back to the men who stared at you and him silently, “ wanna share for tonight?” They all nodded their heads eagerly prior to him turning back to you as you slump against his chest, “ Gonna let them join in the fun, baby?” You nodded without any thought, soon letting out a small “ yes daddy”.
Shinichiro smiled and kissed your head again, “ Then, let’s go.”
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ෆ ̟ ̇ ┈•゚ Tagging: @chosoist @simpingfor-wakasa @honeybleed @angelshub and anyone else who wants to be tagged
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゚•┈© all right reserved to salaciousdoll, she does not give permission to steal, plagiarize, and translate.
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verstappen-cult · 4 months
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HOW YOU GET THE GIRL | CL16
— 04. THE CLIFFHANGER
PREV. PART | NEXT PART — [ SERIES MASTERLIST ]
summary: in which charles has an embarrassing crush on alex's childhood best friend and everyone meddles. content warnings: faceclaim is taylor hill but you can picture her as you’d like! some cursing and a tiny bit of angst because why not.
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TWITTER — JUL 11 & 12, 2023
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INSTAGRAM POST — JUL 15, 2023
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Liked by user98, y/n_gossip and 315,886 others
paddockgossip We have some interesting news about Charles and Y/N relationship! They both were at an event last night, but with two different people and (thanks to our insider!) we know that they didn’t talked or crossed paths, they didn’t even looked at each other! Do we know why? Maybe it was Charles’ plus one, who is, if you’ve been following their relationship, the same girl Charles was seen with back in Austria.
Trouble in paradise? We all saw the pictures of Y/N and her ex-boyfriend Andrew Garfield out and about in London just a few days ago. And now we only have this mess which seems to be following both Charles and Y/N everywhere they go.
Is this the end of a relationship that had only just begun?
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user98 i don’t think they’re together anymore. it didn’t look serious from the beginning
user99 Charles deserves better. This girl was on a date with her ex boyfriend a few days ago, I wouldn’t forgive that so easily.
user01 okay but you don’t know what happens behind closed doors user99 I’m just saying what Charles should do. user02 but you’re not charles leclerc, are you?
user03 i’m a child of divorce
user04 I haven’t even got them over my parents divorce and now this happens
user05 They both are being sooo childish
user06 i prefer him dating his friend than this girl
user07 what friend? user06 the one he was with in Austria, i think she’s an influencer, i’m not sure user08 y/n is WAY better user09 Maybe Charles is the problem. Let’s not do this awful thing between women like you always do when shit happens
user10 I hate gossip pages so much.
user11 NOOO I loved them together 😭
user12 that was such a power couple
Y/N’S iMESSAGE — JUL 15, 2023
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INSTAGRAM STORIES — JUL 17, 2023
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INSTAGRAM POST
📍 PARIS, FRANCE — JUL 25, 2023
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Liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc and 892,556 others
charles_leclerc A little escapade before flying to Belgium. I haven’t slept in two days, can you see?
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user13 someone teach him how to dress
user14 y/n was doing a good job user13 but then they broke up user15 THEY WHAT
user16 hold on ☝🏻 he’s in france??? in a fashion show?? as in y/n’s walking that fashion show fashion show??
user17 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING user18 I think you’re onto something
user19 why is he wearing that to a FASHION show
user20 is it true he’s dating an italian influencer?
user21 Charles is dating @/yourusername user22 no they broke up user23 we don’t know that
user24 Y/N’S IN THE LIKES
user25 WAR IS OVER OH MY GOOOD JSHDVDHAJAA
user26 i’m in denial until someone confirms y/n and charles broke up
user27 you and me both user28 charles is attending the same fashion show she’s in. look at her stories!!
📍 PARIS, FRANCE — JUL 25, 2023
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Liked by jennaortega, florencepugh and 77,480 others
voguemagazine Say hello to our @/yourusername opening this week’s #FashionShow in Paris.
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📍 PARIS, FRANCE — JUL 25, 2023
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Liked by f1gossip_news, y/nnews, and 135,765 others
paddockgossip Alert, Alert! Charles Leclerc and his girlfriend, Y/N L/N, spotted leaving the Fashion Show Y/N walked in just a few hours ago. They’re currently in Paris, a quick ‘escapade’ as the Monégasque called it before flying all the way to Belgium for the final race before the Summer Break.
Remember that just ten days ago we were telling you how we thought things weren’t good between them and were waiting for a breakup confirmation. We were wrong! Let’s hope things are okay and we can see more of Y/N paddock’s fashion in the future. All the best for them.
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user29 oh god no please
user30 I thought we already got rid of her
user31 i don’t like her, she doesn’t seem nice
user32 Mmh this kinda looks like PR
user33 i thought the same but idk in the pics pop crave shared they look v cozy
user34 some people feel too comfortable judging y/n just because it’s charles.
user35 like grow up girl you’re never gonna date him lol
user36 this comment section didn’t pass the vibe check
user37 charles always dates toxic people
user38 i doesn’t seem serious to me
user39 matching glasses, such a power couple
user40 i don’t like her but they look good together
user41 i hate her sm she’s everywhere 🤢
user42 if you don’t know her just search what happened between her and sebastian stan
user43 there’s a pretty long ass thread on twitter with timelines and all y’all should check it out user44 that relationship was so toxic i’m glad my boy found his way out of there user45 she has said in a lot of interviews that she regrets everything that happened between them and that they’re on good terms now user46 besides they both were so young user45 they blame her when he was the one who cheated on her a hundred times
user47 she’s ben through a lot of toxic relationships i hope this one is different
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TWITTER — JUL 25, 2023
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TAGLIST (bold means i couldn’t tag you) — @leclerc16s. @willowpains. @berrnuu. @minkyungseokie. @1655clean. @sassyheroneckgiant. @nessacarty1. @a1leexxa. @storminacloud. @lovstappen. @littlehoneyfreak. @paintedbypoetry. @miakat9. @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir. @thatoneembarrasingmoment. @lyrasconstellation. @rhythmstars. @c-losur3. @apolloxxivmin. @janeholt3. @lovrsm. @gulphulp. @thecubanator2. @dark-night-sky-99. @ssprayberrythings.
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note: oh my god!! hiii <3 sorry for not posting sooner but a few things happened and… well. there’s just only one chapter left! i can’t believe this is ending. like you don’t know that i had such a good time doing this smau. i’ll probably write an extra part, like a blurb or something about the conversation y/n and charles had if that’s something you’d like to read?! please let me know (it would be posted after the final chapter). 🤍
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ajortga · 4 months
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in what way?
pairing: tara carpenter x fem reader
summary: your ex girlfriend begins to regret leaving you when all she wanted to do was protect you. maybe she broke you more than she thought.
word count: 900+
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based off request! i came across a reblog that said that i needed to make more tara fluff.. maybe next story?..
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hello my love, I would like to know if you could do a one shot based on the song shut up my moms calling by hotel ugly, Tara x fem reader pls🙏
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I just wanna rewind, I haven’t seen you in a long time
Ever since the ghostface incidents that fortunately, Tara has survived, she’s been avoiding you.
I mean, she knew you would never be ghostface, but whenever she was near you now she just felt like she shouldn’t. 
She shouldn’t be spending time with you when she was always a pain in the ass over ghostface. She still had that trauma that she knew a band-aid wouldn’t fix, her inner and outer scars may never heal. 
But she also knew she shouldn’t be avoiding you when you took a stab in your arm for her, you protected her, but you weren’t one of the core 4. What if you ended up like Anika? What if she failed to catch you when you fell? She was scared because she knew that if you ever died or even got a scratch on you, she wouldn’t be able to see the end of it. Nightmares haunted her every time she closed her eyes. It’s like she can’t even have a good option. Well except when she was hurled up to your neck as you snored softly on her chest.
Letting you go meant no cuddles and kisses at night, where she would actually be able to sleep peacefully without having any nightmares. There would be no more Friday nights with you. She wouldn’t be able to see you glance at her with these loving eyes you always did. She couldn’t bear seeing you look at her like you did at Chad or Mindy or Sam. You looked at her like she was Tara. Your Tara, your eyes go soft when you see her. She didn’t want to lose that. She loves you more than a heart's love. But if she keeps you with her, you’re at risk of being killed. You’re at risk of losing your life and Tara could never forgive herself. But you’ll be with her. You’ll be able to make her heart feel whole. What was more important? Keeping herself loved, or keeping you safe? Keeping your heart whole?.. Or breaking it?
“Gosh,” she groaned, she didn’t know. But she did know she was going to have to begin to stop seeing you so often.
A week in and she could feel it.
That isn’t you, so baby bring it in closely.
She felt your eyes trace her whenever she was in the room. She felt those soft eyes slowly grow dark, she knew you felt sad. Like you were waiting for her, silently knowing she might never come back to you. Tara doesn’t notice how you would blink your tears away that you had to cover your face and cry against your sleeves. She doesn’t know how if she only got a few hours of sleep because she slept without you, that you got none.
You got me feeling so lonely. 
Even with the hurt that has held in your heart, you didn’t want to go back to her because she broke up with you, it wasn’t the other way around. It would never be the other way around. You felt alone.
You’ve been acting like you hardly know me.
You didn’t know why, you still didn’t know why she began to fade from your life, but you didn’t want to make her life so hard. Maybe she dropped you because that’s what you did in the first place, make her days a mess. When really it’s the other way around, you made it whole. Tara felt the way your figure turned away from her whenever she was near, a simple switch of your heel when she was there and walked away as quickly as you could. You talked to everyone but her. 
You began to finally find back the solace that music brought. You used to wear them when Tara didn’t know you, you wore them over your neck all the time. But when you started dating her, music felt like it wasn’t necessary anymore. Why would you need it to listen to music when you could hear your girlfriend's sweet laughter and voice? It was better than a sweet melody. She brought you harmony.
You both missed each other. Your room was filled with her, polaroids in every picture hung up above your bed, three boxes filled with books you once read together, a cooking book you used to bake on free Sundays, jewelry. You never took it down, because you still loved her. You can’t stop loving someone. You just find someone else to love more. 
Tara regrets it, she thought it would be so easy, she thought it would’ve been better to know that you were going to be okay. But ghostface wasn’t here right now. She felt so numb. Ghostface was gone and it would take time before the next legacy would be sparked to life once again.
But she ignored you to protect you. 
And the thing was, she knew that she broke you more than she protected you. She wanted to take it back. Tara wished she could feel your warm body laying in the same sheets. Knowing that you were hurting more than she was. 
You and Tara made eye contact, you two looked at each other for a long moment, before brushing past each other like strangers in another life, tears falling gently down each other's faces. 
She could’ve taken you back, but what was there to fix if the heart was broken beyond repair?
Your heart raced whenever you saw her, but she felt it begin to slow, losing your hope.
She wanted you to heal, she didn't want to come back just to be told that you didn't want to see her face.
She didn't know.
Maybe she shouldn't come back.
Maybe she shouldn't come back home in your arms at all.
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uhohnotthisagain · 4 months
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Requited Love
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Summary: Sam discovers his love for you in a not so clean dream, he doesn't realise his actions following the realisation would effect you so much.
Pairing: Sam Winchester x reader
Word count: 0.8k
Warnings: slight mentions of sex, angst, pining, makeout.
My Masterlists
Sam woke up in a sweat, but this time it wasn’t a nightmare. He could still feel the way your hands felt on his skin. The way your lips felt pressed against his. The way you felt wrapped around his cock. 
Holy shit was he actually thinking about his best friend that way. He rubbed his hands over his face before he felt movement next to him. He looked over at you sleeping, sprawled out with hair all over the place. You usually slept together in the same bed when out on a hunt. 
He tried his best to climb out of bed quietly so as not to disturb you, hoping a cold shower would rid him of those insane thoughts. 
Later, you’re all sitting at a diner, eating dinner. As you take a bite of your burger, Sam can’t help but notice the way your lips move as you chew, oddly attracted to the way they slightly pout when you chew. He shakes his head, trying to focus on anything but you. 
You and Dean are in deep conversation about which Led Zeppelin song is the best, sitting on the couch in the motel room whilst Sam does some research on the hunt. It was a pretty easy hunt so not a lot of effort was needed. Sam gave himself the excuse to get distracted. 
He watched the way your hair would swing when you talked to Dean, dramatically moving your hands as you spoke to emphasise your point. His eyes travel down your body, taking note of the way his old college t-shirt looked on your body, paired with the tight-fitting leggings that donned your lower half. 
He caught himself just before he started to imagine what you would look like without the clothes on. 
It was just you and Sam in the motel room. Dean had gone to the local bar for a few drinks, both you and Sam opting to stay in for the night. You couldn’t help but feel a little down. You noticed a few days ago that Sam hadn’t been talking much. You didn’t take much notice until you realised he was still talking to Dean, but seemed to be avoiding you. You didn’t know what you had done, but you were starting to feel self-conscious about your actions, trying to think of what you could have done to upset him. 
Sam was still sitting at the table, hunched over his laptop. You were watching some random movie that was on TV, not watching it properly. Your mind was too occupied trying to think of ways to get Sam to forgive you.  
“Sam?” You called to him. He hummed in response. 
“Did I do something?” He turned to look at you. “What?”
“Did I do something to hurt you?” He stared at you like you had two heads. “Of course not. Why would you think that?” 
“Because in the last week, you’ve barely spoken ten words to me. If I’ve done something wrong please tell me. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me. You’re my best friend. I can’t not talk to you. I’m going crazy here.” You let out a frustrated breath after your short ramble. “I’m sorry for whatever it is I did. I’m sure it was unintentional and I won’t do it again.” Sam is looking down at his fidgeting hands, debating what to do next. “Listen, Y/N. You didn’t do anythi-” “Obviously I have! You haven’t spoken to me in a week. I’ve been putting up with Dean this entire time because you won’t talk to me. I don’t think I can handle this much longer.” Sam didn’t realise how much this was effecting you. He finally did when he noticed the tears streaming down your face. 
“Tell me what I can do to fix it.” You whispered, afraid that if you spoke any louder, it would come out in ugly sobs. 
Sam let himself debate his actions for one last second before making a decision. He took two long steps towards you before cupping your face in his hands, smashing his lips to yours. 
It took a second for you to respond, and Sam was about to pull away before you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You stayed like that until you had to pull away for air. “What was that?” You whispered. 
“I realised a week ago that I was in love with you. And I didn’t know what to do. I guess keeping my distance was the wrong way to go.” Sam whispered back. “Yeah, it was.” You respond, pulling him back down for another kiss. He wraps his arms around your waist, tapping your hip to signal for you to jump. He instantly catches you, and carries you towards the couch, sitting down with you straddling him. 
“Ew, what the fuck guys. A heads up would’ve been nice.” You hear from behind you. You turn to see Dean standing at the door, hand over his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sleeping in the Impala tonight.” He turns around and walks out without another word. 
“Should we go get him?” You ask Sam, not moving to get off of his lap. “Maybe in a few hours,” He responds, pulling you back in for another kiss. 
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sluttywoozi · 2 years
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Whenever We Breathe Part Two
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Summary: Wonwoo knows he's fucked up by avoiding you after you, him, and Seungcheol slept together. He doesn't know how exactly he can fix it, but he figures begging for your forgiveness might be a good start.
Rating: M (18+) | Word Count: ~5.1k (2k plot, 3.1k smut)
Part One
GN version
Warnings: not a threesome, best friends to lovers, swearing, pining, hurt/comfort, angry cheol (hot), shy switch wonwoo, weed mention, lots of talking during sex, grinding, cumming in pants, multiple orgasms, fingering, clit stim, oral f. rec., facesitting, slit/thigh fucking, condomless piv sex, creampie, cum eating, aftercare 
Reader Notes: she/her pronouns used, has vagina and breasts
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Fuck, oh fuck, Wonwoo’s made a terrible mistake. 
He thought that day was the perfect opportunity to get to be with you without having to confess his feelings, but what he didn’t consider is that getting to be with you would make him want to be with you.
Wonwoo isn’t sure why that didn’t even cross his mind. Maybe because it was clouded with smoke and the disbelief you even said yes when Cheol made the offer?
God, it felt like a wet dream, literally, you were so wet, so fucking soft and hot and tight, and Wonwoo still regrets not coming inside you when he had the chance, especially since it was probably his last. 
He hasn’t seen you in weeks, and he misses you like hell. 
He supposes he can’t complain though, considering that it’s his own fault. 
Wonwoo’s been avoiding you, skipping your weekly best friends sleepovers, making up excuses for dinner invites, responding to your texts far too late for a conversation to be possible. 
He feels awful, and he knows you know he’s avoiding you, and he knows Seungcheol knows too. 
He might be ready to beat him up soon, if the glare he’s sending Wonwoo right now means anything. 
They’re sitting across from each other in the diner down the street from his apartment, and Seungcheol has been scolding him for the past seven and a half minutes. He only knows because he keeps glancing at the clock to escape Seungcheol’s glowering. 
Wonwoo honestly feels like he’s in the principal’s office, with the way Seungcheol has his hands folded (clenched) on the table and the way he’s being berated. 
“And if you didn’t think you could handle this, you shouldn’t have participated. You could have just watched, but no, you wanted to join and you wanted to go first, and now you haven’t seen her in weeks.”
Seungcheol takes a deep breath to continue, “Do you know how sad she is? She totally knows exactly what you’re doing, and she thinks it’s her fault. She thinks she did something wrong. We wanted her to feel better but you’re making her feel worse!” He finishes on a shout. 
Diners in the nearby vicinity shoot Seungchheol a look, and he raises his eyebrows in response, staring back until they look away. 
Normally, he’s much more polite, so Wonwoo must have really pissed him off. 
“I’m sorry, Cheol, I really thought I would be okay. I didn’t realize how bad it was until you made her look at me while you were-,” Wonwoo looks around and continues in a whisper, “Fucking her, which by the way, what the fuck was that?!” 
“What do you mean ‘what the fuck was that’?” Seungcheol mocks him.
“That was me making you realize how you feel! I knew you’d be jealous seeing me with her like that and I needed to rub it in so you’d finally fucking understand! You’re in love with her!” Seungcheol’s eyes are blazing, and Wonwoo’s starting to wonder if he should fear for his own wellbeing, but Seungcheol wouldn’t hurt him. He thinks.
He’s not ready to respond to that last part yet, needs some time to admit it to himself, but he knows he can’t just not say anything. 
Especially if he doesn’t want Seungcheol to launch himself over the table and throttle him. 
“I know I fucked up, and I’m sorry. To both of you. I’ll figure out how to fix it, I just need a bit more time,” Wonwoo pleads, trying to implore Seunngcheol to let him deal with this his own way. 
“I don’t know how much longer she’ll wait. She’s talking about joining the dating apps again.”
The food arrives but Wonwoo doesn’t notice. White noise fills his ears, and he feels very dizzy suddenly, bracing his hands flat on the table for strength. 
He tries not to remember all the short little dresses you’d wear on your internet dates, and the way you’d complain about their inability to make you cum, and the way he used to wish he even had the chance to fail. 
But now Wonwoo’s had the chance, and he didn’t fail, he was successful. He made you cum, multiple times, fuck, he even helped make you squirt! 
So honestly, what the fuck is he doing?
He is in love with you, and he can make you cum, and he’s your best friend, and you’re his. 
And now he’s starting to feel like the fuckup wasn’t when he slept with you, it was not taking the chance to tell you how he feels after.
Shit. 
How is he supposed to fix this?
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Wonwoo has come up with a plan, and the first step is showing up at your apartment with your usual from the cafe you always go to together. 
The rain wasn’t part of the plan, but Wonwoo figures his pathetic appearance may actually help his case. 
He’s soaked to the bone, his glasses covered in drops of water, his body shaking like a leaf, his cold hands even colder than normal, but it’ll be worth it if you open the door. 
And that’s a big if, because Wonwoo knows you know it’s him, and he’s honestly not sure you’re going to let him inside.
He wouldn’t blame you, after the way he’s been ignoring and evading you for weeks, but he really hopes you’ll at least give him a chance to explain himself. 
He’s fully prepared to tell you everything, to lay his soul bare at your feet, to grovel on his knees for forgiveness, but he’s not too hopeful when you open the door and shout, “Are you fucking insane?”
You grab him by the collar and haul him inside, pointedly avoiding his gaze as you shut and lock the door before heading to the bathroom to grab him a towel. He drops the food and travel cup in your kitchen and waits for you to return. You stop at your bedroom on the way to get some clothes he’d left here, pointing at the bathroom until he obeys and scurries in, turning on the shower and starting to strip. 
You stand at the door with your arms crossed, glaring into the hallway and waiting for him to hand over his soaked clothes, and he tries to avoid looking at your ass in your little pajama shorts. Now simply is not the time.  
Not when Wonwoo’s never seen you so closed off before, to him at least. He worries he won’t be able to repair the rift he created between you, fears you won’t let him back in. 
He steps into the shower, the heat scorching his freezing skin, and he tries not to shy away from the steaming stream of water, lets it be punishment for hurting you like this. 
He stays until he can feel his fingers and toes again, then just a bit longer because he’s terrified to face you now that he knows you're sad and angry. 
Eventually, Wonwoo gets a bit too warm and knows he can’t put off explaining himself any longer. Shutting the shower off, he roughly towel dries his body and pulls on the clothes you brought him, shaking his hair out enough that it won’t drip onto his shoulders before cleaning off his glasses with the edge of the shirt. 
You’re puttering about in the kitchen, heating up the food he brought you, sipping at the drink, and whispering angrily to yourself, about him most likely. He doesn’t blame you, could curse himself too for mucking everything up this badly, and he can only hope you’ll let him tell you what happened. 
Wonwoo lets himself linger in the hall for just a few more seconds before taking a deep breath and shuffling into the kitchen with his head lowered in penance. He stays silent, senses your eyes on him and hears your movements stop, and almost wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. 
But, knowing he owes you this, Wonwoo raises his head and meets your eyes meekly. 
Fuck, you look so mad, and so hot. Under the anger and hotness is hurt, and he chooses to focus on that. 
“Well?” You begin flatly. “What do you have to say?”
“Um,” he clears his throat after squeaking on the first attempt, “I want to apologize, and beg you to forgive me, and also I should probably tell you something.”
You squint at him, tilting your head back to stare down your nose, and Wonwoo tries to pretend your derision doesn’t turn him on. 
“Go on, then,” you raise a brow, and Wonwoo lets out the biggest sigh of relief when he realizes you’re letting him explain himself. 
“Okay, apology first. Well, the apology will probably have some of the thing I need to tell you so I hope that’s okay,” you nod slowly in confusion. 
“I’m really sorry I shut down after we slept together. It was everything I ever dreamed of, except not really because I don’t just want to sleep with you, and also because Cheol was there, and I definitely didn’t dream about that. Not that I didn’t like it!” Wonwoo rushes to clarify, “It was great, and kinda nice not having to think for a bit, but when I pictured our first time, it was… just us.”
You stare at him, processing his words, your face softening incrementally, before you ask, “What do you mean, ‘everything you ever dreamed of’?” 
Wonwoo’s eyes grow wide, knowing he’s at the point where he’ll have to explicitly tell you his feelings. 
“Um, so the thing is I might possibly be in love with you and it’s also possible that after I got to be with you, I couldn’t stop thinking about being with you and made myself sad that I wouldn’t get to so I didn’t want to see you because whenever I thought about seeing you, all I could think about was being near you and touching you and getting to actually love you like I’ve always wanted to,” Wonwoo says in a rush, clenching his eyes shut at the end so he doesn’t have to see your face. 
You stay silent for a while, considering his jumbled confession. 
He peeks an eye open to find you deep in contemplation, your jaw set and your arms folded, and fears that he’s officially ruined the friendship. 
“You’ve always wanted to love me?” you ask softly, quietly, like you’re scared of the answer. 
He nods, keeps nodding, biting his lips between his teeth before speaking just as timidly, “Yeah, I’ve always loved you, sorry.”
Your face scrunches, eyes turning to a glare to hold the tears in, and you whine angrily, “Don’t be sorry, you idiot, I love you too even though you’re so fucking stupid.”
Wonwoo’s heart stutters, squeezes hard, then explodes, and he feels like he might pass out. 
“Do you need to sit down?” you ask tiredly, waiting for his dazed nod to roll your eyes and walk over, tugging him by the arm to sit on your couch before crouching in front of him. 
“You… love… me?” Wonwoo asks dumbly, eyes moving up sluggishly behind his glasses to find yours. 
“Yes, Wonwoo, I love you,” you confirm gently, speaking slowly so he can understand you through the fog your confession put him in, grasping his tepid hands with your own. 
“Wow, that’s so crazy,” he breathes, feeling almost as high as he did that day. 
“I know, right?” you agree, pulling him closer until he shuffles off the couch to sit on his knees in front of you. 
“So, what do we do now?” Wonwoo asks, truly having no idea. 
“Um, I mean we should probably date right? And tell Cheol so he’ll stop being pissed at you. And maybe also have sex without him.” 
Wonwoo loves those ideas, all three, but has a request for the order, “Can we do 1, 3, 2? He’s so mad at me and so scary, and I think I’ll have to grovel more for him to forgive me than I did for you.”
“Mmmmm I think you could afford to do some more groveling for me too, though,” you tease, playing with the collar of his shirt and smirking. 
He feels lightheaded again and hopes you’re saying what he thinks you’re saying.  
“Can I kiss you?” Wonwoo asks as he starts to lean in, waiting for you to tell him yes. 
“Yeah, I think that would be a good start,” you mumble as you press your lips to his, your sentence trailing off into his mouth. 
Wonwoo sighs, tracing your bottom lip with his tongue until you open for him, loosening his hands from yours so he can place both of them on your cheeks to pull you closer. You come willingly, climbing into his lap when he sits down and crosses his legs, straddling his hips and grinding down against his rapidly hardening cock. 
Fuck, the pressure and heat of you feel amazing. 
He hasn’t been able to jerk off as much as usual because when he closes his eyes, he can only see you, squirting and crying and writhing, and he cums way too fast for it to even be enjoyable.
He’s a bit scared that will happen with you, but he plans to make you cum a few times before he even gets his dick in you anyway, so it should work out fine. 
Or at least, that’s what he thought before you started touching him, running your fingers up and down his abs, palming his pecs, squeezing his deltoids, and shit your hands are so warm and so soft, and he’s wanted you to touch him like this for so long, and if you keep grinding on him like that he’ll-
“Fuck, stop, stop, stop, baby, you have to stop,” Wonwoo pants, stilling your hips with an iron grip, pushing them away from his dick. 
“What’s wrong?” you ask breathlessly, cupping his face and looking into his eyes even as he tries to avoid your gaze out of embarrassment. 
“I was just really, really, really close to cumming,” he whispers, pursing his lips and hoping you’re not judging him. 
“Oh. You don’t want to?” you sound confused, your brows furrowed and your hips twitching in his grasp. 
“Of course I don’t want to, I wanna be able to fuck you,” Wonwoo explains shyly. 
“Well, how long does it take you to go again?” 
Wonwoo can feel his ears turning red and his eyes wavering behind his glasses as he stares at you in awe. 
“Maybe fifteen minutes,” he replies, astonished. 
You grin, pull his hands from your waist to slide them up onto your breasts, and dig your hips into his. 
Wonwoo can’t stop himself from tipping his head back to rest on the couch, his neck suddenly too weak to hold up the weight as he feels himself start spiraling again. You’re so soft under his hands, so sweet, and Wonwoo wishes he could see you, starts tugging up your shirt until you get the hint and whip it over your head. 
Fuck, you’re not wearing a bra, just like last time, and he tells himself to surprise you at home more often, then remembers he’s your boyfriend now and he’ll get to see you like this whenever you want him to, and that’s enough to push him over the edge. 
His head spins as his cock jumps underneath you, spitting hot cum into his boxers, and he knows he’s being noisy, knows he’s groaning and moaning and possibly even whimpering your name, but he just can’t shut his mouth. 
It feels too fucking good, the first fulfilling orgasm he’s had since you slept together, and now he knows for sure that cumming by himself could never be as euphoric as cumming with you. 
His brain feels heavy, but empty at the same time, and his head tips forward to rest against your sternum as he catches his breath, air puffing out over your chest and raising goosebumps on your skin.    
“Quick question,” you start with a thready voice. “How did you cum that last time? Both of your hands were busy.” 
“I don’t know,” he tries to figure out how to answer without sounding pathetic. “I just- you- when you squirted, it was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and I don’t know, it was like I blacked out, and when I woke up, my cum was drying on your stomach.”
Okay, so he still sounded pathetic, but you whine, almost like you… 
“Do you like that?” Wonwoo asks slowly, realization growing, “And you liked making me cum in my pants too, didn’t you?”
You squirm in his lap, and Wonwoo smirks, leans forward until you tip onto your back and he can plank above you. He drops a kiss to your nose and shifts up on his knees to yank his shirt off and push his wet boxers down, trying not to cringe at the cold air on his slick cock. 
“You like knowing what you do to me, huh?”
Wonwoo trails kisses down your neck, letting his tongue dip into the hollow space between your clavicles before grazing his teeth over your skin.
“Well, baby?” Wonwoo waits for you to answer.
You stare him down, biting your bottom lip and squirming slightly, before answering, “Yes, I like it, Wonwoo.” 
“I’ll tell you all about your effect on me then,” Wonwoo begins, nipping the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. 
“When you wear these tiny little pajama shorts at sleepovers, I have to keep a pillow in my lap all night, just because your thighs are out and pressed right up against mine,” he says through sucking kisses along your collarbone. 
He grins at your shiver, continues, “Sometimes, I can’t tell you’re not wearing a bra until you hug me, and when I feel your tits on my chest, I have to pull away because I get too hard to hide it.”
Sucking marks down your sternum, Wonwoo keeps going, “I always take the couch and let you have my bed, even when you offer to share, because I know I’ll wake up hard or with dried cum in my pants if I get to sleep next to you.”
He slides back up to your mouth, swallowing your moan and biting your lip between his teeth before sinking down your body again. 
“If you wake up hard tomorrow, can I suck your dick?” you ask, as if he’d say no, and he has to push his face into your stomach to contain the loud fuck he wants to let out. 
“Are you in my brain? How are you my walking wet dream?” Wonwoo almost sounds annoyed, frustrated, and his kisses turn to sucking bites, leaving indents of his teeth all over your soft skin. 
“Don’t get mad at me because you think I’m hot, that’s not fair!” you whine, arching your back into him and making his focus shift to your breasts. 
“You’re right, baby, I’m sorry,” he lavishes your tits in soft kisses, sucking alternately at your nipples and squeezing the plush flesh with his fingers. 
He presses his face into your chest and smushes your breasts against his cheeks, breathing you in, surrounding himself in you, and realizes there’s another way to be encompassed by you, a better way. 
“Will you sit on my face?” Wonwoo asks, a bit scared you’ll say no.
You look down at him, smile softly, and reply, “Sure.”
Fuck, Wonwoo thinks he might die.
He tries to smile back before laying down next to you, waiting for you to finish stripping and climb on. 
Shit, why didn’t he notice how wet your shorts were? There’s a visible dark patch, and he figures he was messy enough not to notice but fuck, is he noticing now. And of course, of course you’re not wearing panties. Wonwoo honestly thinks you were created to kill him. 
What a way to go though, he thinks, as you send him a shy grin and straddle his hips, shuffling forward on your knees until he can grab you by the hips and pull you up to his face. 
He groans when your scent hits him, groans deep in his chest, and you shiver at the air flowing over your soaked pussy. That makes you rest more of your weight on him, and Wonwoo can’t wait to drown in you. 
You’re still holding yourself up though, looking a bit nervous, and Wonwoo wraps his arms around your thighs so he can smooth his hands up and down the length of them, soothing you slowly until you relax enough for your folds to brush his lips. 
This is already the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and it only gets better when he rubs his nose over your clit and you grind into it. 
Flattening his tongue on your cunt, he drags it from your entrance to the top of your pussy, laving over your bundle of nerves before sliding back down to dip inside you. 
You taste even better than last time, no lingering traces of weed in his mouth to cloud your essence, and Wonwoo already knows he’ll do this every day if you let him. 
It might just become his favorite hobby, if the way his cock is already hardening again says anything. 
He sucks your clit into his mouth, pulling you down harder on his face, wanting to smother himself in you, and slides two fingers inside you from behind. You clench down immediately, whimpering above him and sinking your hands into his hair to tilt his head back. 
He gets the hint, just holds his tongue out flat and lets you do what you want, lets you ride his face and his fingers, feels his cock jumping against his stomach. 
“Wonwoo, another, give me another, please,” you ask breathlessly, crying out when he tucks his ring finger inside of you too, and curls all three into the patch of nerves deep inside. 
He feels like he’s drowning in the best way, partially because you’re so wet, but mostly because he can’t hear anything, can’t see anything. All he knows is your pussy on his face and shit, he could probably cum untouched from this too. 
You break before he does though, bowing over him, and now he can smell your cunt and your hair and your skin, and thank fucking god you’re already shifting away from his tongue out of sensitivity because he seriously could cum right now. 
He helps you lift off of his face, and gazes fondly as you curl up on your side and catch your breath, staring incredulously at him. 
“How are you so good at that?” you demand, eyebrows scrunched and eyes boring holes into him.
“I’ve been dreaming about you sitting on my face for years, that’s probably it,” Wonwoo responds matter-of-factly, dodging the pillow you lob at him in retribution. 
“What, baby, you liked it before,” he laughs, avoiding the finger attempting to poke his belly.
“Yeah, that was before you made me cum so hard I lost all sense of time and space,” you mutter, shifting to rest on shaky elbows, staring at him contemplatively out of the corner of your eye. 
Wonwoo’s still trying to recover from your previous statement when you say, “I think I want you to bend me over the couch and fuck me from behind.”
He chokes, sputters on nothing but air and the need clawing up his throat, forces his eyes shut and curses you, curses you forever, but not really because he loves you too much and he does want to bend you over the couch and fuck you from behind. 
In fact, he thinks he’d both kill and die for the chance.
So he stands on wobbly knees, extends both hands towards you to pull you up, and drags you over to your couch. The arm is the perfect height for him to fold you over, and you pull a pillow to you so you have something to hold onto as he runs his cock up and down your slit. 
“Can I try something first?” Wonwoo asks tentatively, “I think you’ll like it.”
“Yeah, just don’t put anything in my butt, I’m not ready for that yet,” your voice is muffled in the couch, your ass tilted up, and Wonwoo smooths his hands up your back to squeeze your shoulders, then back down to push your thighs together. 
Placing each hand on a cheek, Wonwoo pulls your ass up and apart so you’re spread open, cunt glistening in the daylight, tempting him to take another taste. 
He’s always wanted to try this and never thought he’d have the opportunity, though, so he needs to make the most of it. 
And make the most of it he does, sliding his cock between your thighs and bumping the head against your clit, over and over and over, until your thighs glisten too and his dick is drenched in your wetness, until you’re squirming beneath his hands and whining, until he can see your entrance clench and release, tightening around nothing. 
He thinks he can make you cum like this, but honestly, he’s getting too close, and if he wants to fuck you tonight, he needs to do it now. 
Maybe he can hold out just a little bit longer though, he thinks, rubbing the head of his dick insistently on your clit until you claw at the couch and cum with a wail. 
“In me, get in me, Wonwoo, I swear I’ll-,” your voice cuts out when he sinks into you, stretching your pussy around his cock and bottoming out in one stroke. 
You squeak, and Wonwoo squeezes your ass in his hands before moving them to your hips and holding you to the arm of the sofa as he pulls back and thrusts in again. 
“Good?” he asks, waiting for you to respond, “Yes, Wonwoo, fuck yes,” before starting to pound you into the couch. 
You cry out every time he roots his cock inside you, and he moves a hand to press down on the small of your back, tilting your hips up more and angling his down, giving you searching thrusts until he hits something and you seize up around him. 
Targeting that spot each time, Wonwoo fucks in and out of you at a steady pace, ignoring the way his balls are already full and starting to draw up, wanting to get you there one last time before he cums. 
He knows just his dick won’t be enough, so he slides one hand around your hip and sinks it between your thighs, finding your clit with two fingers and starting the circles you seemed to like last time. 
Fuck, you get even tighter, and wetter, whining and wiggling under him, trying to meet his thrusts but he’s going too fast, too hard, and your walls start to spasm around him, arousal gushing out of you and dripping down his dick as you cum. 
And shit, Wonwoo wants to fuck you through it, he does, but he just can’t stop the tidal wave swallowing him, can’t stop the roaring in his ears or his eyes from squeezing shut, and he definitely can’t stop the way his cock twitches and starts to spurt white hot cum inside you.
It’s so much better than the orgasm he had before, and Wonwoo can’t stay standing, tips over until he’s spread out on top of you, his hip bones digging into your ass and his dick flooding you with what feels like weeks worth of cum. 
By the time his cock has stopped jumping in you, you’re reaching behind to poke at him, whispering in a strained voice, “Wonwoo, babe, can’t breathe.”
He blinks his eyes open, still dizzy from his orgasm, and lets his body melt to lay on the floor by the couch. You stay on the arm for a second, and Wonwoo has to close his eyes again when he sees his cum starting to drip out of you, white globs seeping from your entrance and sliding down your pussy.
“Can I-” Wonwoo starts, but you interrupt him, responding tiredly, “Yes, please do it, whatever it is. I already know I’ll like it.”
He crawls over, trying to steady his breathing, and spreads your cheeks again, opening up your stretched pussy even more. Your entrance is still fluttering, and your walls probably are too, and he needs to feel you on his tongue. 
He licks into you again, gathering up the cum on your swollen clit and guiding it back to your cunt, pushing it inside before lightly sucking at your entrance.
You still taste so good, even tinged with the salty bitterness of his cum, and he knows he’ll never get enough, shoves his tongue deeper, starts fucking you with it, rotates one hand so he can get his thumb on your clit, and with that, you tumble over the edge again.
Your walls weakly contract around his tongue, and he pets your bundle of nerves gently, bringing you down and licking you clean. 
Wonwoo lets you recover for a bit, but eventually suspects you can’t move so he wraps you up in his arms and hauls you off the couch, settling on the floor with you in his lap. 
“You okay, baby?” he asks, only a little bit concerned. 
“Yeah, I just… I think you broke me,” you mumble into his chest, fatigue obvious in your voice, and Wonwoo tries to hold in his giggle, tries to stop the pleased grin from spreading his lips, but he’s not successful, and you swat feebly at his chest. 
You get distracted by his pecs, caressing the firm muscle, and Wonwoo shivers, looking forward to coming up with more ways to distract you.
For now, he just tries to stand, finds his knees too shaky to carry both of your weight, and deposits you on the couch before hobbling away to get you a damp cloth and new pajamas.
He thinks he has another pair of boxers here too, and finds them in your top drawer along with some sweats and a big t-shirt for you. 
He cleans you up, wiping softly between your legs and making you promise to pee soon, before dressing you and himself and plopping down on the couch, pulling you into his arms. 
You’re warm, always so warm, and you smell so good, and Wonwoo loves you so much, and he remembers he doesn't have to hide it anymore. 
“I love you, baby,” Wonwoo murmurs into your hair, cupping your cheek in his hand and rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip. 
“Love you too, Woo,” you breathe, holding his gaze and puckering your lips to press a kiss to his thumb. 
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marvel-ouss · 1 year
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The Way I loved You
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Charles Leclerc x Reader, Arthur Leclerc x Reader
Warnings: italics are flashbacks, the timeline is unreliable (Charlotte and Charles are dating and Zak is still McLaren's team principal), mentions of cheating, nicknames in French and Italian, "y/n/n" means "your nickname", screaming, fighting, English is not my first language
Type: fluff and a bit of angst Inspo:
Reader pov
Time goes by and you can’t even feel it. If a year ago you had told me I would be dating Arthur Leclerc I would literally laugh in your face.
I would never imagine dating my ex’s brother, never in a million years. But it end up happening.
I dated Charles for three years, all our friends and family thought we were getting married some day without them knowing, those were the best years of my life, of course it all went south on the end of the third year.
-
Lewis organized a drivers dinner or something like that and Charles as a f1 drivers was expected to be there. He told me the latest he’d arrive was 11pm so he didn’t keep me here alone for too long since Arthur was out with some friends as well.
It’s 3am Arthur arrived one hour ago and not a single glimpse of Cha, he didn’t answer the phone or replied my texts so I was getting worried. I got up from my bed and headed towards Arthur’s bedroom and knocked on his door “Thuthur?”
“Get in y/n/n” he said just loud enough for me to hear on the other side of the door.
I got in and sat on the end of his bed, I could tell I woke him up “Do you have any news on your brother?” He checked his phone “No, he hasn’t answered my texts yet.”
“Alright, thanks Thuthur I’m sorry for waking you up, sleep well” I kiss his cheek and leave the room. As I get to the living room I sit on the couch and open Twitter to see if there were any updates. After a while of swiping trough the timeline I see a video of my boyfriend with a girl I could recognise, Charlotte the first girl I met and could call my friend when I moved to Monaco.
I was left speechless. I could not believe my eyes while the video of my friend and boyfriend kissing played on replay. I could feel the tears starting to fall down my face.
I felt betrayed. I didn't even notice the time passing.
I wake up from my trance when I hear the door unlock. There he was, the man I swore to be my night in a shining armor. The man I loved the most.
“Hi bab-“ “Get out Charles, I don’t want to see you” I don’t even want to listen to his voice, because I know I will forgive him in a blink of an eye. We’ve been here before he fight all the time, for stupid things but this, now this was serious. This was the first time he cheated, and only to make everything better, with my friend.
“What’s wrong babe?” his calmness usually soothes me. Unfortunately all his calmness right now was making me furious.
“Don’t call me babe, not after tonight!”
“Babe I can explain” he widened his eyes and approached me.
“GET THE FUCK WAY FROM ME” I got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water to calm down.
“Y/n, listen to me!” He says going after me.
“I don’t want to listen, Charles! You went out, you didn’t say a word and I was left worried the entire night!” I kept screaming, I was so angry I started tearing up “I understand you want to go out with your friends, enjoy you're youth and have fun but the least you can do is send me or Arthur a message!” I checked the time on the kitchen’s clock and continued “It’s 5am and I haven’t slept because I was worried! I thought something might have happened to you! Just for me to go on the internet and see you with another woman!”
“Babe, I can expla-“ I take a glass out of the cabinet and fill it with water and say: “No you can’t!”
“Please listen to me!” “I won’t, tell Charlotte I said hi, now leave” he has a shocked look on his face which means I was right, the girl in the video I saw earlier was indeed my old friend.
“The silence says it all. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight, when I wake up I’ll make my bags and leave” I say sipping in my cup of water.
“Are you crazy? You are not going anywhere! Not before we talk!” I could tell he was getting desperate. This was all his fault in the first place.
"Now I'm the crazy one?" I turn my back I head to our bedroom so I could get a pillow and a blanket.
Charles enters the room after me and closes the door.
“Please Y/n, let’s talk, I need to explain everything to you, it was a dumb mistake, I shouldn’t have done it. I started drinking and I felt needy but you weren’t there! When I looked at her all a could see was yo-“ “Please Charles, shut up” “-u and I just wanted to kiss you and hug you, but you weren’t ther-“ “SHUT THE FUCK UP! I can’t listen to you anymore! I’m done with your excuses! At the end of the day I’ll be the one to blame because I wasn’t there, and the jokes on me.” I make my way to the bedroom door and open it.
Arthur’s door is open and he is resting his side on the doorframe. “You good?” He asked in a cautious tone.
“Sorry for waking you up but your brother’s a dick!” I make my way down stairs. I could hear Arthur talking to Charles in French but I just went to the couch, laid down and eventually fell asleep.
-
The next morning I packed my things and left, I stayed at Lando’s house for a while until I had the money to buy my own house. I had some money in my savings for as emergency and this was the perfect moment to put it to use. I met Lando a long time ago, when I first came to Monaco, four years ago, it was with the intuition of becoming a f1 photographer, and that ended up becoming true, I was a photographer for McLaren during one year. Zak had a lot to say about Daniel Ricciardo so I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
Danny has a heart of gold and he didn’t deserve half of what he went through on his last year at McLaren.
After leaving McLaren I did some jobs here and there but settled as a Quadrant photo editor and a APM Monaco main photographer. Even with two jobs I still have time for myself, when they need me they give me a call and I go as fast as I can.
It was easy making the money I was missing to buy a house and not even 3 months later I was all settled in my new apartment.
-
Lando puts the last box we brought down from his apartment on the table. I bought a two bedroom apartment in the same building as Lando.
“How could you do this to me? You can't leave meee” Lando said with a fake crying voice.
I burst out laughing “Landoo, stop with the drama, we’ve talked about this. You have my phone number and I’m just two floors down!”
“Oh right I forgot about that part! Seems like I’m not getting rid of you that easily.”
“Lan, I think it’s more the other way around.” We stay silent and the next second both our laughs fill the apartment.
"Sorry to ruin the mood, how are you feeling with all this situation?"
"Honestly I don't know. It feels weird. this is the first year in almost four years that I won't be constantly at the paddock. I'm gonna miss the races and specially the people." I was starting to get nostalgic, thinking of all the moments I spent at the paddock, the people I met and all.
"You can always come by, you're welcome to come with me!"
"Yah, obviously!" I say in a sarcastic tone "The last thing I want to do is fight with Zak again, and I doubt I'll be welcome at the McLaren hospitality"
"Y/n you know a bunch of people, you'd be welcome in all the hospitalities! We'll really miss you around." He says hugging me.
"I'll miss y'all as well" I start crying with my face buried in his neck
"Y/n/n, please stop crying or we'll make a pool in the middle of your living room"
"Sorry" I say stepping away and wiping my tears away. "I'm gonna take a bath and settle in, talk to you later?"
"If you want me to go just say it!" he says stepping out the door "See you tomorrow miss" he kisses my cheek and leaves.
-
I remember being there, in the middle of my apartment, crying my eyes out because of some boy that decided to play with my feelings. Later that night Arthur called to check on me, after all we were pretty close. He came over that night and I got to say everything I was keeping inside of me.
Thur coming over started being something usual so we just got closer and closer.
“Mon ange, do you have any ice cream?” I hear Arthur ask from the living room.
“I only have vanilla ice cream, mio caro” I say from the kitchen door.
“You’re basic, as anyone ever told you that?” He says in a playful tone getting closer, holding my waist and hiding his face in my neck.
“Yes, you have, plenty of times!” I laugh.
“Forget the ice cream, let’s watch a movie and cuddle!” He picks me up and makes his way to the couch. “What do you wanna watch?” He asks putting my feet back on the ground.
I make my best puppy eyes. “No, Y/n, no, please not ‘What’s your number’ again” he says in an annoyed tone. We’ve watched that movies at least 20 times in the last few weeks. “Please, please, please, please, plea-” I keep the puppy eyes to try to convince him. “Okay, you won, but I choose what we’re getting for dinner!” “Deal” I say with a big smile on my face.
The movie ended and Arthur was about to order the food when he got a phone call from his personal trainer so he goes to the other room to answer.
“All good?” I ask when he comes back.
“Yeah, the f2 season starts in three weeks so I need to get in shape before the season start” we keep talking about the f2 season and how excited he is to start racing again. “You should come with me to the races, if your job let’s you of course” he says exited but insecure at the same time.
“I’m not sure, mio caro. Especially with your brother there. I don’t want to make things awkward” I say with a sad tone.
“You still don’t know, do you?” He looks really confused.
“Know what?” I furrow my brows.
“Charles is taking Charlotte to most of the races” and that’s it, replaced like a snap of a finger.
I got lost in my thoughts. Didn't realize I was crying until I feel Arthur hugging me. That was when everything fell down, every tear I held during 6 months, every feeling, all the thoughts, all the love I still felt for Charles. Everything.
"Mon cœur, you don't need to cry anymore, everything will be alright."
I lift my head from his chest "Arthur I'm not sure if I'll ever get over him, he was my first love, he's the person I spent three years of my life with" I sobbed "You don't understand what I'm going through, I loved him more than anything just to be replaced by one of my closest friends, I trusted them. I feel betrayed by the both of them. I don't know if I'm ready to see them together! Thuthur, what do I do?"
"Mon ange, trust me when I tell you that he loved you, he's also hurt by the break up and this was his way to cope, just know that it was real while it lasted."
"If he was hurt he would have tried again, he didn't even call!" I argued
"Of course he didn't. I told him not to." he said really calm
"Why would you do that?" I was so confused, I've been complaining that Charles never tried again but the cause of it has been invited to MY house by ME countless times.
"Would you forgive him? Wait, better question. Would you forget what he did? Or every time you were with him you'd get flashbacks of the video? Don't try blaming it on me because I know that that's what you're doing!" I didn't answer, I just started blankly at the rug on my living room floor. After a while Arthur stood up "I'm sorry but I'm leaving." he made his way to the front door and left. I knew I had fucked up.
-
That night I went to Lando's house to get his opinion on the situation. Lan always has the best advices! He told me that Arthur might care for me a little bit too much and told me that I needed to replace Charles to help with the pain. I still remember his words to this day "When your puppy dies you need to replace him to help you cope with the pain, it doesn't mean you'll stop loving him, he'll always have a special place in your heart but you need to allow another puppy some love as well" yes he compered my situation with puppies! What's in that's kids head, be forreal.
Me and Arthur didn't speak for three weeks, a sent him hundreds of texts but he didn't answer any. So I did what anyone would do: I went to Bahrain with Lando to talk to him.
-
"ARTHUR LECLERC GET BACK HERE!" everybody started looking at me and Arthur. He turns around and when I reach him I wrap my arms around his torso and bury my face in the crook of his neck to feel the smell of his perfume that I loved so much. "I'm so so sorry for not saying a thing that night, I was just left speechless. Everything you said was true I just didn't want to accept it. Then you left and it was already too late. I'm really sorry mio caro"
He hugged me back and lifted me so I could wrap my legs around his waist and hold onto his shoulders. Now we were face to face. "I forgive you mon cœur, I also apologize for ignoring all your attempts to talk to me, I'm sorry cherie"
I just couldn't resist him. After what Lando said and all this time away from Arthur, I knew I needed him in my life. It was not a want, it was a need. So I kissed him. I didn't care about the cameras or about the people around us. It was just me and him in that moment.
I separated my mouth from his to catch my breath and he followed to kiss me again. "Thur, can you put me on the floor please?" I whispered. "Only if you don't run away." he laughs before putting me on the floor. "Grazie mio caro" I smiled at him.
I looked at his beautiful eyes before getting on my tiptoes and kiss him again.
-
I went with him for most of the races, the time we spent in Monaco was enough to make the APM photoshoots and all the Quadrant editing could be done while I was away in other countries.
I avoided both Charles and Charlotte. I couldn't deal with any of them. I didn't want to ruin my happiness.
Right now I've been dating with Arthur for seven months and his f2 championship is going great. I still run from my problems instead of solving them.
Today is race day so there's drives, wags, cameras and teams everywhere. Me and Arthur were walking to the Dams motorhome so he could check the strategy before the race. "Y/n?" I didn't answer. I've been ignoring Arthur for the past 30 minutes cause since early this morning he decided that he wanted to challenge my patience. He only called me by my name (which never happens), closed every door in my face and disagreed with everything I said even if I was right! The man's insane! So I decided not to talk to him. we where passing the interview zone when he held my waist so I looked at him "Baby, Mon ange, mon cœur, cherie,-" he said burying his face in the crook of my neck "That's enough Arthur" I started laughing and he started tickling me. "Stoopppp, Thur. Please stop" I can't stop laughing. "Apologize for not speaking to me."
"Thur, stop please, I apologize" a say pushing is hands away from my waist.
"Come here" before I could even think he had already thrown me over his shoulder like a potato bag. "Thur put me down!" I couldn't breath from laughing so much. "Nope, I'm gonna carry you to the hospitality"
All the laughing and talking got interrupted "Arthur? Y/n?"
Charles pov
“The car seem-“ I stopped hearing the interviewer when I heard her laugh, the laugh I didn’t hear for so long, I always loved her laugh. I loved her smile, her eyes, her hair, well I loved her. I love.
I don’t remember much after I left the club on that night but I know we had a fight. What I did was wrong. More than wrong. I don’t know what got into my head! I love her. Even after all this time I still love her. Charlotte means nothing compared to her.
I wanted to go after her but Arthur told me do drop it, everything he says was right but I didn’t want to listen. Then I realised that it might be for the best. That’s why I went back to Charlotte so I could try to get over her.
But I need to respect her happiness. She’s with Arthur and I know he's good for her.
“Charles, are you with us?” I hear the interviewer
“Sorry, can you excuse me?” I turn towards what I believe was the dams hospitality “Arthur? Y/N?”
~
Hi everyone, this is my first time writing something a publishing it. So please be nice :)
Let me know if I got something wrong and let me know your opinions.
Should I do a part two?
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