#but i do think becoming a lizard would solve my problems | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghostieyanyan · 4 months

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Is it ok if I can ask for a yandere Rollo Flamme? I like the idea of Rollo because he’s already based off a yandere villain so it makes sense. And I think Rolli would like to get close to Yuu cuz they don’t have any magic so they’re seen as ‘pure’ in Rollo’s eyes. Maybe Rollo can be seen trying hard to control his urges at the fireplace or he captured MC and tried to burn them at the stake like in the movie? Your choice.

hehehe... why not just add salt to injure? what if mc has pyrophobia, a fear of fire?

~Let the fire purify you~

Yan!Rollo x Pyrophobia!Mc

Warnings: Fire, burning, kidnapping, anxiety attack, chains, gag, breakdown,

~~~

Rollo hated magic... with a passion. A passion that burned so bright that hurricanes, rainstorms, floods, and tsunami together couldn't extinguish this flame of pure hatred.

How does no one sees the danger of magic? How many lives have to be taken in the hand of magic for people to understand this is a problem? He guesses that its one of humanities sin, playing dumb, playing ignorant, until it becomes someone they care about that gets hurt. its always like that... why could people just see things through his lenses BEFORE someone got hurt...

But for now, he just has to do gods work for everyone else, until they see things his ways...

He had a plan. a plan that will solve this problem before it could get worst. The plan to get rid of magic, from one of the most powerful mages in twisted wonderland, to the student "prodigies" of that sick, sinful school, to the townsfolks of Fleur city, to every inch of Twisted wonderland.

With this crazy plan, he'll make, no, he'll force everyone to see how he sees life should be. he didnt care on who got hurt-

until-

he met Night Raven College's gem in the rock, their Perfect. When all the students were introducing themselves, when it was your turn. He swore the world stopped and he would have swore on his life that he saw wings and a halo on you. You looked, spoke, and acted like an angel. you even allow these sinful... beasts... breathe the same air as you. then you have an ACTUAL beast as a familiar. don't tell grim that.

your heart and soul must be made out of pure gold. he has to protect it at all cost. he will use his own body to shield you from magical blast and then some to keep your purity in tact. he will move mountains and redivert lakes, rivers, seas, and oceans for you. Rollo Flamme will make you into his deity that he worships.

All the students decided to split into groups and explore Fleur City, after they got changed.

to say Rollo thought you looked breathe taking in your glorious masquerade outfit was an understatement. he was about to come up to you and compliment you, maybe even starting small talk with you but a certain lizard decided to be the first to do so...

Of course that monster would be charmed by an angel like you. Evil loves to tempt with good.

no matter, he'll just have to see you another time but if he gets too busy..? He'll make time for you.

Rollo lead you into his office, you didn't mind too much because he was telling you all about the school's history and art. it is a really pretty school, it gives very romantic feelings.

when you finally made it into his office, you froze at the doorway at seeing the fire place. Rollo quickly notices and puts out the flame with a very helpful near by bucket. You were grateful that Rollo was very accommodating to your fears.

you thanked him and sat down across from him while Rollo sat in his chair.

"I'm very sorry for asking you to meet me at this ungodly hour but i just needed your input on something and if i didn't ask you, i would have had a sleepless night tossing and turning." Rollo said as he got everything on his desk organized.

"hehe, its alright. I just happen to have a restless night myself.. but i don't mind the company."

"oh my that sounds awful. what seems to be troubling you?"

"w-well.."

It was really hard to tell someone you only just recently met that you had a "bad feeling" about something and how so far, in twisted wonderland, its always comes true...

"well.. i think... maybe, its just the 'sleeping at a new place' feeling and I'm just not getting use to it. but I'm sure its fine. heh.."

"hmm.."

Rollo seemed satisfied with that answer and continues, by leaning towards you on the desk.

"i know i asked you about this before, but id like to discuss it with you more in depth... hmm?"

since Rollo put out the fire place, there was only a small lamp on the desk to shine light in the room. you kind of wished that the fire place was still lit... cause everything in this scenario was telling you to run and never look back..

"o-okay..? what would you like to know..?"

Rollo smiled and leaned back into his chair.

"as a magicless student in a full school of magical.. mages, aren't you scared they might... turn and hurt you..?"

the way he worded that made you feel more unnerved.. you trusted your friends in Night Raven College. Even the ones that did try to hurt you, they still came to your defense and help and protected you when you needed them.. you trusted them with your life and having this man tell you "you shouldn't because they can use magic" was... laughable...

"no.. because they've earn my trust and I've earn theirs..!"

"Earned..?"

Rollo's face darkened as you stood up from the chair you were sitting in.

"I'm sorry Rollo. Thank you for your hospitality but i have to go."

you start walking to the door but stopped.

"with however you feel about magic, i wont sit down and let you disrespect them just because they possess a special ability and i don't. It doesn't make them less of a person. Magic or no magic."

you walked to the door but before you could even touch the doorknob, you feel a body press against your back, pinning you against the door. you couldn't even move, much less move the door.

"I'm sorry my sweet angel~... i guess.. I'll just have to show you myself then~"

you see a quick purple blur and then tightness around your throat. Rollo was using his signature purple and gold handkerchief to strangle you! you tried to struggle. you tired to jab your elbow into his chest but his uniform was too thick for it to do any good.

You started to feel light headed then everything you saw was slowly turning black. the last thing you saw was Rollo, and the insanity in his eyes.

you had so many questions...

why you? was it because you don't have magic so you were "easy"? aren't there other people in twisted wonderland without magic? you just happened to go to a school "for" magic users so of course you'll see it a lot.

what's so bad about magic? ya it almost killed you here and there but it also almost killed either the user or other people around you.. but afterwards everything would have been fine. Plus you didn't blame the magic for those situations. you couldn't even say you blamed the user. some deserved the blame.. but not everyone..

how did you get here..? probably from your big mouth, you should have been smart when you were talking to Rollo. he was already giving you weird vibes and you just had to make it worst

you had more questions but you knew none of them would get answered..

you started to slowly open your eyes..

where are you..? what's this sound..? why cant you move..?

you slowly looked around, you remember this place... Rollo showed you, with your friends. the big bell, the bell of Solace. you noticed that you were alone though..

you looked around some more, you looked out from where you sat on the floor. it was dark out but with an orange hue... was the sun rising..? what's going on?

you went to take a step, to look out but something stopped you. a cold hand..? no..? a chain?!

if you weren't fully awake then, now you are! the chain was short, at least 2 feet long from the floor, it was attached to both your ankles. you could only go so far out.

what happened?! what's going on?!?

you started breathing heavily, tears started to form. you felt so confused, so lost. someone, anyone, please hel-

"oh my dear! you're awake."

your blood became ice, you looked up to see an uncomfortably happy Rollo.. he had a basket of breads and fruits.

"i was so worried that you'll never wake up. I'm very happy you did~"

with a heavy chest, you spoke.

"what's going on, Rollo!? Why are we here? why am i-?"

"oh within time my dear angel~ we just have to wait for those flowers to do their miracles. in the meantime, eat. you've been sleeping for a while and-"

"flowers..? what are you-...? Rollo...."

you took a deep breathe to try to settle your nerves.

"Please, Rollo... I'm scared. please tell me what's going on."

he looks at you and sighed, placing the basket down on a near by table. He then walked over to you and sat beside you, motioning you to come closer to him.

You did. you don't really have a choice right now..

"I'm making our perfect little world my love~ our paradise~"

you looked at the man like he was crazy. he was, at this point. But he continues.

"the Crimson flowers, the one that looks like fire, the flowers i shown you when you toured the city, they have the ability to take a mage's magic until they are just magicless people.. like you."

you stared at him but he kept smiling.

"magicless.. like me..?"

"yes my dear, then everyone in this world would have to understand magic is like a poisonous weed that has to be pulled out. or it'll spread to the other crops."

you just stared. you couldn't bare to keep looking at him so you turned to look at anything else..

magicless like you... no.. this isn't right. this cant happened!

Rollo thought the conversation was over and sat up to get the basket.

"Before this started, i made sure to get some food. i thought you'll be hungry so-"

"...mon...ster..."

Rollo froze. he was facing the backet and didn't turn around.

"excuse me..?"

you stood up, leaning against the wall, as best as you could. You knew your big mouth was gonna put you in a tough situation again but- what were you suppose to do?

"you, Rollo Flamme, are a monster."

he slowly turned to you, his eyes screamed murder. even if your body is shaking, from fear, from anxiety, from anger, maybe all of them at once's, but you kept your eye contact with Rollo.

You knew a comment like that will hurt him. you knew you couldn't physically harm him but you just wanted to hurt him like he planned to do the same to everyone you cared for..

the silence was deafening.

Rollo took some slow steps to you and leaned down to your level.

"take. that. back."

"no. cause i didn't say anything wrong.."

you hear Rollo take a deep breath and he quickly snaked his hand to grab the nape of your neck. you let out a gasp, from the sudden movement. he straighten his posture and brought you to his eye level.

"it's seems that those... mages.. have filled you with their poison. I'll just have to purify you myself. don't say i didn't warn you, my angel.."

he dragged you to a window and made you look outside. the entire city was filled with those flowers but... the looks of those flowers... made it look like you were in the middle of a raging firestorm. you felt your stomach drop. you felt cold shivers, and you didn't even realized that tears were falling. when you looked more, you noticed that the "fire" was slowly climbing the tower you were in.

you were about to let out a blood curdling scream but you were stopped by Rollo tying that purple handkerchief into a makeshift gag for you.

After that, he threw you, face down into the ground. Your body was shivering from fear so intensely, to the point that it feels like you lost complete control over your body. you couldn't even fight back when Rollo tied your hands together.

"i, really, am sorry for this my sweet angel~ but i have to get rid of the poison that those mages put in you... you have to be purified."

Rollo walked off and came back holding a fireplace poker. it was glowing red and you could see smoke coming off of it. where he got that, you didn't know but your attempt to get away from him was met with a wall against your back.

you felt your head spin, you were trembling to no return, the hot tears wouldn't stop, and the makeshift gag he put on you was now soak with tears, saliva, and snot.

Rollo kept walking towards you, in an agonizing slow pace.

"don't worry, my angel love~ after this, all will be forgiven~"

when he went to grab your face, he-

"MC!!"

those are.. familiar voices.. you know those voices..

"tch.. i suppose your punishment will have to wait my love. apparently, ill have to finish these pesky mages off myself."

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piedpiperart · 1 year

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It was an interesting read. :) I know very little of the full DC universe, but yeah, you're totally right about that superman and batman thing. it's why Batman is my favorite hero from there. He shows you don't really need a fancy power to be one.

Right?!

It’s one of the main reasons why I like batman so much. I used to really hate Superman growing up and I never really knew why until later. It was cuz it bugged me how he’d always act like he was the know it all on justice, and viewed people with powers or groups or certain actions that didn’t fit his worldview as the bad thing that meant that person was bad.

Superman didn’t really get the black and white, and much like All Might, a lot of that gray is about discrimination. For a lot of small time criminals, they get to where they are because lack of education, money, support, etc. Batman knows this, understands it, makes charities as Bruce Wayne to support people like that. Superman might know but not understand. He’s also not rich so sure he might not be able to solve it really, but he’s still a daylight/spotlight hero. No one would expect Batman to do a press conference on discrimination, but that’s something Superman has the power (and responsibility) to do. It’s what Bruce Wayne does.

This discrimination is a lot like in My Hero Academia. Bad quirks are seen as villainous. Take Hawks and Miruko versus Spinner for example. All three are mutant/body changing quirks based on animals. However the only difference is that Hawks and Mirukos quirks are able to be fetishized by the public/media. Spinners Lizard mutations are seen as gross and momsterous, leading him to a life of crime because of the discrimination he got from kids, adults, when looking for a job, etc.

Miruko being a bunny quirk also had the added stereotype of being weak, meek, shy, etc. She feared getting stuck with those labels and made herself work to be seen and act differently to become a strong powerful hero. But her costume still shows her femininity, people still underestimate her, she’s not overly valued as a hero because she’s not seen as stronger than most of the top ten men heroes, etc.

Same could be said for Shinsou. Evil-stereotyped quirks get certain treatments and can lead to less choices in life for jobs, friends, etc. Stuff like that All Might isn’t aware of and won’t think to advertise or fundraise for.

It’s also the same for people with ‘good’ quirks. How many people do you think were chosen for a job specifically for their quirk? Like lie detector Tsukauchi. Was he pressured into police work? Could you imagine him being a chef or something else? It’s the same with heroes and villains. Could you imagine someone with shigarakis quirk running a coffee shop? Probably not and that’s the problem. Quirks are valued and that makes people valued differently.

Bakugo too is seen as a heroic quirk, but could also easily be spun as a villainous one. Depending on how he was raised and how/where he grew up, he could have been a hero or a villain. It was speculated that bakugos parents are middle class, maybe a bit richer. What do you think would have happened if Bakugo was poor? If he went to a school district in a different area? If they saw him as a thug instead of a hero. You think he would have been able to keep his snappy personality? Or would he be forced to keep his head down so no one would feel threatened and call the police on him?

There’s so many different layers to quirks and quirk discrimination that All Might and Superman type heroes are generally unaware of. You can see this with Iron man and the xmen. Iron man in the mcu wants the Accords, that have restrictions on mutants and want mutants to be documented. He, as a person without powers, doesn’t understand how this would affect the lives of people like Peter or Wanda (which is one big arguement I would have for having peter on team iron man but he’s also a gullible kid here so I’ll let it slide) and often in xmen comics the accords screw over many many mutants. (Prime example is Cloud 9) Xmen also have issues though. Take a look at Charles Xavier, who, in many comics and even shows like xmen evolution, puts much more time and effort into helping the mutants who could pass as normal humans or come from good backgrounds or have useful powers.

Take xmen evolution, where Charles doesnt put effort into helping the brotherhood as much as he could have. He doesn’t spend time helping the kids with problems that parents would, instead focusing on training and etc. Many xmen leave because they’re not receiving the help they need. Mutants like nightcrawler, beast, toad, etc. are often overlooked because they don’t have ‘cool’ powers. This can also be said for hulk. These type of powers are seen as less or worse or evil, etc.

In one spiderman cartoon, peter starts mutating uncontrollably into a giant spider. Xmen who look perfectly normal are like you should accept yourself for who you are, sorry we can’t help you. Meanwhile Beast knows exactly what Peter is going through and helps him in a way that actually matters, in a way that he needs. So. It shows that even within marginalized groups there’s different groups or levels within that can be at odds.

It also shows a lot of parallels to real life struggles with poc, lgbt, disabled, neurodivergent, and women’s rights,etc. in the LGBT community there’s many parallels to xmen and the TYPE of sexuality/gender you are. Gay people are discriminated against yes but they can and do often exclude trans people or people of more specific (or less marketable, etc) sexualities or people of color or disabled people within that community. Just like Xmen and certain good or bad powers. Or quirks and the discrimination surrounding that.

I think mutants or quirks in general that have a visible outward appearance are particularly interesting in this case. Media and society play a huge part in whether or not certain people are socially acceptable/good/bad. Back to the point about Spinner versus Hawks. Hawks and Miruko are fetishized by the media, hero society, etc. You don’t see Ryuku(I forgot her name but the dragon lady in MHA) who can turn into a full on dragon, being marketed the same way. Spinner and Gang Orca (I’m talking about in the anime not in real life, shush) are not being fetishized by the media or heroes, were bullied in much the same ways and are seen as scary. Ectoplasm too. You also don’t see them closer to the top ten heroes rank. You don’t see them much in the show either.

Even in Class 1-A, you see clearly what is being valued when you look at the main characters. What are their quirks? Ah yeah strong ones, right. But do they have anything that would allude to them not having a normal physical appearance? Nope. Tsuyu occasionally because while she is frog she can be marketed as sexy and cute to the public. Mina is harder to do than Tsuyu but still can be marketed as cute ‘despite’ her eyes, skin, horns, etc. You know who won’t be marketed like that? Tokoyami and Shoji and Kouda. You hardly ever see them in the anime either. Not main character material. Not classified as cute, etc. harder for business students to market them as heroes, seen as not as strong, etc. I guarantee the writers coulda made tokoyami a powerhouse, could have done so much with Mina’s acid or Kouda controlling animals.

So not only is it shown in anime, it’s also marketed that way to the viewers who prefer the cute boys, etc., it’s not as popular a show if the mcs aren’t cute. Same with MCU and DC movies. Justice league movie? Great but let’s take out hawkwoman and Martian manhunter. Only sexy men and one woman allowed. Avengers? Great but let’s focus on the ones without discrimination and limit parts with Bruce Banner and get villains that are aliens and very clearly ‘other’.

One movie that was great with this was guardians of the galaxy in that they had clear differences physically and not in a sexy alien fetish way. I liked that, that they were a ragtag group of very very different people and still made a family. (Leaving out the latest love and thunder movie tho) But in that show it was clear to see that the main characters were not all the stereotypical white men and women with cool and a useful powers. Sure they still had one white dude but I think it’s great he doesn’t have any actual powers.

Deadpool also does an awesome job with this!! Having disabilities, plus size characters, key women characters (domino) other than the one girl who was a plot device (Vanessa) and poc (russel and domino), etc. and a lesbian couple! Love it. And I love the found family aspects and the diversity! It makes me happy to see.

Even deadpool in deadpool 2 shows that xmen has issues within them. In that conference room most were white men tbh. They value certain kinds of people and often the rest of the mutants with unfavorable powers go with Magneto, just to be accepted even if he’s got evil and bad intentions. To me, Charles and Erik have bad intentions and don’t actually care about helping the mutants have a safe space, they’re mostly focused on how the rest of society will accept them. Charles wants to do it peacefully and magneto wants to do it forcefully. They don’t actually set up any kind of contingencies or start petitions and laws and policies that will actually help these poor kids. (Ex. Morlocks)

In the justice league too, you can see the characters with more physical differences like Martian manhunter, lagoon boy, beast boy, etc. aren’t many. They’re not seen as main character material, not able to be marketable in the same sexy way that Hawkwoman could be, etc. they’re underutilized in the league and underrepresented. Take killer croc or the killer shark guy. There’s literally so few of them around in DC comics and movies and aren’t marketed to the general audience. Like, there’s a reason why Marvel focuses on certain characters over others. Reason why they focus on avengers over xmen. But it’s changing and more diverse characters are being represented so that’s good. Hope they keep it up👍

Anyways this is getting super long so I’ll leave it here, sorry if it doesn’t make sense? But I just love talking about stuff like this

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ahuttonarts102-02 · 2 years

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Arts 102 Blog Post 4

Within weeks 7 & 8 of ARTS 102, we have begun project 4: "Character logo and Mark". In this project we were tasked with watching one of 4 movie selections and creating a logo for two of the characters within the film. For my project I watched my favorite Christmas movie, Annie, and decided to create logos for Annie herself and Daddy Warbucks.

To begin the project we started by creating concept matrices for our characters. This method helped create 100 unique ideas by crossing over defining traits about our characters.

We then chose some of these ideas to resketch in a larger scale within the sketching process.

Within the film, one of Annie's catchphrases is "leaping lizards" I thought that utilizing this quote as a mark for Annie would be both interesting and unique. Likewise, within the film Hannigan referred to Warbucks as a cue ball, and I think that the high class sport of pool fit his character so I decided to pursue a pool theme.

I am excited to move into illustrator and continue to work on my logos. I hope to use a friendly soft round font for Annie and a straighter taller font for Warbucks.

Within this weeks reading we learned about the backbone of a ted talk, which had 9 ~easy~ steps laid out for us. I think if I had to give a ted talk to people, I would probably talk about motivation and what drives me as a creator, pushing my viewers to pursue things they genuinely enjoy and living a fulfilled life. I am not how impactful my TED Talk would be, but it would be an interesting process to write one, even just for myself. The idea of Eccentrics are very interesting to me, those who wish to create unique pieces and to be the first. Within my time as a content creator, I've heard the advice: "either be the first to do something, or do something that everybody else is doing, but do it better." While I feel it is easier to build on and improve an already created idea, it is much more satisfying to create your own unique creation as it will often stand out that much more. Chapter 13 mentions something that I was worried about for a while. As applications become more user friendly, it can be worrying that a once elusive skill is now becoming more assessable, making that skill you own less unique. Of course, the difference between someone who has a decent amount experience such as myself and a professional is massive. My professor has shown me 4 or 5 solutions to a problem that I wasn't even sure how to approach. I believe that this idea of oversaturation still holds some merit between those in a similar skill level. More and more students are beginning to pursue computer science degrees such as me in hopes of accessing the lucrative field. Within a sea of talented applicants, the best way to stand out is to showcase your own personal experiences and interests. Many people can share a skill and solve the same challenge, maybe even in the same way. But that doesn't make them the same person.

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itsstrawberrymochi · 3 years

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Hi, I love your content so I wanted to request something! Could you do headcanons with the hashira’s x gender neutral reader(- muchiro ofc) where they find out that the reader self-harms? If this makes you uncomfortable at all please delete it!

Kny pillars reacting to their s/o who self-harms

Awww thank you anonymous that means a lot to me hope you enjoy this also thx for reading my request rules when you said minus Muichiro ^^

Characters: all pillars expect Muichiro

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm and suicide

Note: if you or anyone you know is doing this activity please seek help with people you trust , it may seem that self harm is the best distraction but it’s really not, it’s only a temporary relief and you don’t deserve to always go through that pain ❤️

Giyuu

🌊- Now it took him a while to notice this

🌊- Don’t get him wrong, Giyuu loves you and all but he just assumed the injuries were from a demon after all that’s what you told him you had to no reason to lie right?

🌊- When he found out the truth he got extremely sad, he also got mad at himself for taking so long to notice

🌊- When he finds out he wouldn’t dare shout at you or make a scene out of it, instead he’ll calmly approach you and ask what’s the matter

🌊-If you don’t tell him right away he won’t pressure you to do so instead he’ll wait until you’re ready to talk

🌊- He’ll just sit next to you calmly in silence for hours and hours until you’re finally ready tell him

🌊- When you tell him the reason he would start to try and find a solution for the problem so you can feel better

🌊- He would also pull you in a soft hug and just let you cry on him while listening to you tell him what’s wrong

🌊- Giyuu would alway try his absolute best to make you feel better and he’s very serious about the cutting/harming and does everything in his power to try and make you stop

🌊- He’s extremely afraid that one day you’ll go beyond self-harming and he doesn’t want to lose you

Rengoku

🔥- A literal angel that was sent from heaven

🔥- Rengoku would immediately notice that you self-harm, he is extremely observant when it comes to you so he’d be quick to realize

🔥- Like Giyuu he wouldn’t pressure you to tell him what’s the matter but he’ll wait until you’re ready to say

🔥- Rengoku would make sure you know that it’s not you vs the problem but rather you and him vs the problem

🔥- He’ll make sure you know he’s there for you and whatever problem there is you don’t have to go through it alone

🔥-He also isn’t the type to give you words such as “ it’s ok this problem will pass” or “you’ll get over ”, but rather say “ Don’t worry my little flame we will find a solution to the problem no matter what”

🔥- If you’re feeling helpless or upset and feel like self-harming again he’ll drop everything he’s doing to talk to you and try and calm you down

🔥- Rengoku would allow you to talk to him whenever. He would never tell you to go away or say he’s too busy. He’d also let you talk to him for hours it doesn’t matter to him just as long as you feel better

🔥- There are often occasions where you would be laying on his lap and he’ll gently rub your back as you cry and rant to him

Shinobu

🦋- She’ll notice right away, she’s a medic so she can tell the difference between real injuries and self- inflicted ones

🦋- She would become heartbroken to know you were so sad you felt the only way to feel better was pain

🦋- She would make all the butterfly girls leave and go to another room so she can talk to you in private when she found out

🦋- Even though some scars are already healed she would kiss every single one of them

🦋- She does it because she wants to ‘kiss it better’

🦋- She would place bandages and medicine all over the new cuts so they can heal properly

🦋- She is very patient with you, she understands that you won’t stop your self-harm just like that so she’ll take her time talking to you and helping you get over it

🦋- She would alway check up on you and whenever she does she always has some tea or your favorite food ready to talk and listen to you

🦋- She always encourages you to tell her you’re true feelings and never makes you feel emotional or dramatic for it

🦋- If she knows she’s going on a really long mission and won’t see you for while she’ll ask Kanao or one of the butterfly girls to check up on you but if you don’t want them to know about it she would keep it private and she’ll just constantly send you letters instead

Mitsuri

💖- When she found out she talked to you as soon as she could

💖- She found out during a pillar meeting when your sleeve accidentally lifted up showing all the unnatural scars

💖- She had waited after the pillar meeting, when you two were in private to talk about it. She knew you clearly didn’t want anyone to know so she was sure no one was around

💖- When she asked you about it she couldn’t help but break down crying, Mitsuri would blame her self for your self-harming and feel like she did something wrong to you but you’ll explain to her that it wasn’t her fault but she’ll still cry because you were hurting all this time and she didn’t know.

💖- Her number one method of helping you heal is showing you lots and lots of love and care and showing you she is there for you

💖- So that basically means more sweets, more tea parties, hugs and kisses,more l love you, her complementing you all the time etc

💖- She had also bought you a bunny, so if she ever went on long missions you’ll always have “ someone” to talk to.

Sanemi

☁️- At first he would be kind of angry. Angry at himself for not noticing and angry at you for not telling him

☁️- Genya was the one who had told him , Genya being your worried younger brother in law couldn’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself

☁️- Sanemi’s first thought was to yell at you for doing it but then he thought you’d probably be afraid to talk to him about it if he did

☁️- He’ll burst in your room and yell “Y/N I KNOW YOU INTENTIONALLY HURT YOUR SELF”

☁️- You expecting him to yell about it prepared for more but when he reached you he just shoved your face into his chest and pulled you in for a soft hug

☁️- He’ll then say he was sorry you had to go through all this pain alone and sorry that he wasn’t there for you

☁️- He’ll allow you to cry on his shoulder for as long as you’d like

☁️- He wouldn’t care that you’re messing up his slayer uniform nor how long you’re crying for

☁️- While you’re crying he’ll reassure he is now and will forever be there for you and he’ll also reassure you and you can tell him anything

☁️- This wasn’t the only time he allowed you to cry on his shoulder,after the one time you cried he wouldn’t easily dismiss the matter but instead constantly bring it up to make sure you’re getting better

Obanai

🐍- He’s a very observation person especially when it comes to you so he’ll notice your self-harming rather quickly

🐍- He was very patient with you, so the first time he asked and you didn’t tell him he waited until you were ready, like Giyuu he didn’t force you to talk about it.

🐍- When you two did talk about it he never judged you or made you feel bad for doing it, he never called your self harming ‘ attention seeking’ or called you dramatic for doing it

🐍- instead he’ll empathize with you and try to understand why you’re doing it

🐍-Obanai is definitely not one to show physical affection, he rather shows he loves you through words of affirmation BUT If you ever need him to hold you or hug you he’d be more than glad to do it

🐍- He’ll alway hold on onto you and assure you he’ll try and help you solve the problem

🐍- You’ll also have Kaburamaru to be your support snake he’ll alway wraps hisself around you or rub his head on your check to try and make you feel better

🐍- Obanai always try his best to make you feel better and he will near you every second of the day he’s right next to you to because he wants to be a constant reminder that you’re not alone

Uzui

🔊- It was own of the wives that told him about it

🔊- Uzui would immediately blame himself he would think you were probably upset that he was giving one of his wives e attention than you

🔊- He’ll then immediately go to you and apologies for it but then you’ll explain to him that’s not the reason. He’ll then feel relieved but immediately worry knowing there’s something making his love sad

🔊- He is the type to not assume what would make you feel better but would ask you how he could help. He’d ask if you want to talk about it with him, if you wanna talk to someone else maybe one of the wives, if you wanna be left alone, if you want a support animal ( yes willing to get you a cat/dog/lizard etc to make you feel better 😌)

🔊- He would kindly ask for you to give him the weapons you use for self-harm, he refuses to do it by force because that’ll make matters worst, if you don’t give it to him the time he’ll constantly ask for always in a soft and calm voice

🔊- If you’re a slayer he’ll even go as far and take away your sword he’d only give it back if he’s sure someone else is going on a mission with you and they can watch you or if he’s going

🔊- He would also get all of his wives to separately talk to you and try to make you feel better

🔊- Uzui allows you to cry on his shoulder if you ever need it and he’ll gently pat your head or rub your back

Gyomei

🪨-He would cry as soon as he found out

🪨-Like Shinobu he would be extremely heartbroken and his heat would weep for you

🪨- He absolutely hates the fact that you hurt yourself and would always cry thinking about it or if he hears you did it again

🪨- If the reason you are cutting yourself is because you don’t feel like you are good enough he would remind you of all your good qualities and there are lot

🪨- He’ll also wrap his arms around you and cuddle you as you cry because he knows how much you love it

🪨- Gyomei, if you allow it likes to gently rub all your self-injury scars because he believes you deserve comfort for going through all that pain

🪨-He wound often call them battle scars he does it because he believes that you did in fact went through a battle with many problems and you won

🪨- He is very gentle and patient when it comes to your self-harming , when he speaks to you about it and gives you advice it’s always in a soft and calming voice and whenever you rant or cry about how you feel he’ll patiently wait there for hours and let you speak, he’ll only speak when he knows that you are done, he wouldn’t dare interrupt you

This was my first time writing Uzui and Gyomei hope I did good, also this was my longest ever request so I wouldn’t be surprised if it has grammar errors sorry for that 😭

#anime #kny x reader #kny headcanons #sanemi x reader #giyuu x reader #shinobu x reader #mitsuri x reader #uzui x reader #gyomei x reader #rengoku x reader #obanai x reader

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dourpeep · 3 years

Note

WAIT. I'm losing my mind over that friends to lovers post you reblogged. All I can think about is college Albedo + mutual pining, romantic tension, and friends to lovers OTL

- Leaving little post it notes in his bag or inside the cover of his textbook to tell him to have a nice day or remind him to take care of himself because you know he has a tendency to work too hard sometimes!! And what if he meets up with Sucrose and Timaeus because they like to catch up and sometimes discuss their research or homework, and they see Albedo hiding a grin behind his books and think that he's solved a particularly difficult problem but it's just a cute little note you slipped him when he wasn't looking

- You stay up studying for exams with Albedo and he dozes off on your shoulder so you sit there afraid to move because you don't want to wake him but you're also dying inside

- The two of you go to the library to work but eventually get distracted so it turns into the two you sitting close together on a couch and reading each other sections from your favourite books

- I can also see him as someone who rambles about labs or new research he's absolutely taken by. Weeks later when you mention something he said before, he's a little surprised but you just tell him that you tried your best to understand everything because you know it's important to him and maybe his heart skipped a little

- Going off your headcanons: Albedo looking for little specimens and deciding it could be a fun outing with Klee so she can get some sunshine and you find the two of them in the park. You end up joining them and Albedo's heart softens seeing you and Klee laughing and smiling together!

- I remember this little headcanon you had where he snorts when laughing sometimes and imagine Albedo letting one slip out while he's with you, and Kaeya teasing him later on.

- Eventually, his friends start asking if the two of you are together because of the silent affection and teasing between the two of you. Albedo knows he likes you but he's scared a relationship will ruin everything and you're too important to lose even if it means he never says anything, but little did he know, you have feelings for him too.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice day and week! Sorry about this monster of an ask lmao

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ALBEDO

NEVER

Like... there are two characters that I seldom, if ever, turn down and that's my beloved Albedo and beloathed Scaramouche- If you don't want me to shut up about a topic??? Like just utter word vomit???? Bring them up. Bring them up, I dare you--

Okay okay okay okay now lemme just--

oops. 1.4k words. Enjoy your headcanon drabbles, courtesy of me being a hard simp for Albedo--

College au Albedo is pretty close to how he normally is! Brilliant, though having difficulties with making friends and keeping said friends, getting carried away with experiments (did you know if you're on good enough terms with the professors, they'll vouch for you so you can use the lab when there aren't classes using them?? Yeah)...so the friendship that you have with him is certainly the closest one he has.

It'd be the kind where you knock on his dorm or apartment door at 11:45pm with some takeout and your textbooks and he'll let you in without a second thought. You slip inside and settle on the floor next to the coffee table cross-legged, setting the food out as if you don't live a good walk away. He wasn't going to sleep any time soon anyway.

Like the kind of friendship where your hand instinctively slips into his to tug him towards something cool you found or to the café where you tend to go after classes.

Even after you get to your destination, you don't let go.

Now that that has been established--the little notes you slip into his bag or on his books really began as a little reminder. Despite his keen intellect, Albedo tends to easily forget things because his mind is always going onto the next thing. So, being the great friend you are, would just slip a note to remind him to take breaks, eat a snack, or that you're supposed to go and meet Sucrose and Timaeus after class to prep for the upcoming exams.

Neither of you really know when they began to turn into doodles or 'seemingly platonic declarations of adoration'. It's normal for friends to write a heart besides "Don't forget I love you!", right? Yeah.

The smile that makes it's way on Albedo's face is unmistakable the moment that Sucrose accidentally stumbles upon a sticky note carefully tucked in one of his notebooks.

Speaking of Albedo and his tendencies to get carried away with stuff, he often functions on...minimal sleep.

Those nights that you pop up at his place to study or just hang out, he often ends up dozing off, glasses sliding uncomfortably down the bridge of his nose and hair tousled out of it's usual style.

You never plan to stay the night (though even when he's awake he insists you do because it's not as safe at night to make the commute home), but you can't just disturb his sleep when it's the first time in a while that he's probably gone without taking a capsule or two of melatonin to help himself back into some semblance of a sleep schedule.

It's these moments that you remember just how soft his hair is and just how nice his shampoo smells.

Also that he's a cuddler.

You awake in the morning, back aching and eyes squinting against the sudden brightness of the world around you and limbs tangled with your best friend. He's unbothered because his face is half-shoved against the crook of your neck.

With the library, you often find yourselves in a little game. There's so much to learn and so, so many topics through the old vanilla-scent found between pages!!

So trips to the library end up with the two of you digging and sifting to find a topic you've never heard of, sit and read for 15 minutes, then proceed to explain said topic the best you can (without looking!!). It almost always ends up with a few chuckles from Albedo as you fumble explaining (and half-making up) information and Albedo's (unfairly) great short-term memory winning out.

Speaking of...between actually studying and your little topic games, Albedo turns to you to bounce off his current observations and ideas. Sucrose and Timaeus, though both in similar majors as Albedo, are busy with their own projects and research to the point that they don't really have the time to help with stuff as extensive as his research.

Annnnd, naturally, since you don't have anything better to do and are almost always by his side, you play that part!

You listen intently no matter how dense the subject may be and no matter if you do or do not have the background knowledge.

When you ask him to explain something you don't quite understand, he can't help but blink in surprise because you were listening??? And wanted to really understand? You prove time and time again (even days, weeks later) that you listened to every word that tumbled out during his rambles.

And of course you do! Albedo's one of the most important people to you, so it's only natural that you want to show interest in his interests.

Also it's pretty cool to find out those random bits of trivia (like lobsters and their repairable telomeres-).

Klee!!!

Oh man, the first time that you met Klee was a pretty hectic day for Albedo. Due to his Aunt Alice's incredibly busy schedule, he tends to care for Klee on days that he doesn't have class.

However, that particular day he just barely finished class before he had to go and pick her up from school.

With you in tow, that is.

Immediately, the little girl brightens up at your presence, no doubt excited from what she's heard about you (listening in to Albedo's conversations with Alice and the embarrassed tone in his voice when he realizes that he's let your name slipped again and now Aunt Alice wants to know about this particular friend who's captured dear little Bedo's attentions). He's relieved when Klee doesn't immediately reveal that.

From then on, Klee insists that Albedo invites you for every outing they have.

The cafe for a quick treat? The bookstore to sit and read a few books?

"Oh, please please please?? Can they come Albedo? Klee promises that she'll be good!"

Who is he to say no?

But above all, those park days are his favorite. You end up running around with Klee, lifting her up so she can reach a particular leaf on a branch, squatting down to see a bug or lizard that she's entirely enthralled by--all while Albedo sits under the shade of a tree on a blanket, sketchbook and pencil in hand.

You don't know it (even though there's many occasions where he's shown you his sketchbook), but the pages are filled with your smile.

Around you, Albedo's found that he's most comfortable.

There's no need to hide insecurities or hold his tongue when something particularly exciting comes to mind...nor does he hold back in his laughter. Especially with your insistence that his laugh is cute.

That scenario with Kaeya is entirely an accident, proof of just how used to your presence he's become.

It's a late night and you're out with a bigger group of friends than usual, some friends that Albedo's only known since the start of college, but definitely good ones.

With a drink in your hand you all sit at a large table, chatting about anything and everything when you crack a joke and Albedo snorts.

Not like a snort with his normally quiet chuckle, either.

Instead, he's laughing hard, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes and stomach hurting (and maybe it's because of the few sips of drink he's had) and he snorts. The moment the sound escapes him and he's trying hard to calm back down, Kaeya grins.

He's most definitely one of the first people to put two and two together.

After all, Albedo keeps to himself, even around them. But with you around? There's a certain spark of life that ignites.

It's no surprise that the two of you are close when all is said and done.

But that doesn't stop either of you from choking and cheeks from flushing when someone asks if you're a couple. It happens often--too often to count--and ranges between Kaeya's teasing comments and a few sweet words from an elderly woman passing by your table at the cafe.

And you laugh--you and Albedo--because no, no, you're just friends.

Right?

Then the light hits your features just right, illuminating you in a soft glow that makes your eyes shine and--

It's undeniable the way that he feels for you. The sudden quickening of his heartbeat is proof enough. You slide your drink towards him for him to try and he does the same, eyes unable to leave your lips as you take a sip and then smile.

Between the cracks of his appreciation, of this warmth, dread seeps.

Though...that was just over a week ago.

Sitting down back at his apartment, your head resting on his chest and your hands intertwined while you watch whatever's on tv, you shift. Your lips meet in a sweet kiss.

And Albedo wonders how neither of you managed to see it sooner.

#anon asks #THE FACT THAT YOU REMEMBER MY ALBEDO HEADCANONS AND STUFF MY HEARTTT #albedo x reader #genshin impact albedo #genshin impact x reader #albedo headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact drabbles #modern au #college au #modern au albedo

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anika-ann · 3 years

Text

In the Strangest Place (We Just Might Find Love) - Pt.1

Type: two-shot, pretty much canon

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 3700

Summary: You’re hiding from your boss in a supply closet, minding your own business, when a stranger joins you unexpectedly.

This is not a beginning of a steamy story; given the reason you’re hanging out in the dark, even a make-out session is honestly the last thing you want to fantasize about right now.

But that doesn’t mean that the nice stranger cannot make your day much better.

Warnings: mention of sexual harassment, a bit of angst, attempt at humour, language

You were on the verge of screaming – or crying, you honestly weren't sure anymore. But you knew you were done. You had worked your fingers to a bone just to get here; to become a little bee in the most famous hive in Manhattan. Stark Industries. The Stark/Avengers Tower. The beacon of the New York skyline. The dream coming true.

Yeah, not so much.

You hadn't expected super-important assignments – after all, you were just an assistant to the head of one of too many departments – but God, you had not expected to be handling coffee so often. To be running ridiculous errands. Your degree from MIT should actually mean something here! If nothing else than that you were not just some pretty face and that you fucking didn’t deserve the treatment you were receiving.

And that was the root of trouble, really. You could handle making your way up, it would be tiring but not surprising, it was pretty much what you had assigned for.

But you had not assigned for the sexist comments, disgusting innuendo and for the grabby hands of your sleazy boss. Thomas Gregory was a fucking nightmare of a man and you swore that you were quitting if he called you a ‘Dollface’ or slapped your ass one more time.

And that was how you had got here, into this very moment; hiding in a dark supply closet like a creep with two cups of overpriced coffee in a cup holder and a piece of organic carob-nut muffin.

You weren't about to come out any time soon, because you simply knew your boss still would be a pig and give you yet another reason to hand in your notice and you had fucking wanted this job for so long, worked for it so hard and sacrificed too much that you just couldn't make yourself to quit no matter how much your skin cringed and your stomach rolled over every time Thomas Gregory touched you. It was so frustrating you wanted to scream.

Or cry, you still couldn't solve the dilemma. Maybe both.

You barely registered the hurried footsteps – and then the door was yanked open, you glimpsed a tall blond male figure and suddenly there was dark again. Except there was one more body in the very limited room of the closet, making you press your back onto the shelf.

Something rattled with your movement and the newcomer hissed a barely audible ‘Be quiet’ as two columns of muscles that were probably his arms framed your head leaning onto the very same shelf, so you could both fit in here.

The little order leaving his lips broke the last seal inside you. You were tired, frustrated and were receiving enough humiliation as it was, you did not need some random guy invading your hideout, barking orders.

“Look, mister, if you have any problem with me trying to make a little space for you in this tiny-ass closet, I recommend you to-”

“Shh!” he hushed you and you thought you had never heard someone whisper so urgently; at least it sounded less bossy than before. It did not mollify you though, because this guy actually had enough impudence to-

“Don't you dare to shush me-!”

A hand went to cover your mouth and you let out an exasperated mumble of curses, while his voice continued.

“Please, just— I'm sorry, please, don't make a sound, my friend is trying to set me up and-”

Your eyes went wide and he suddenly fell silent. Before you could question his methods of shutting you up, his exclaim or the pause, and ask him to be so kind to find another closet, another male voice sounded somewhere behind the door.

“Come on, Steeeve. Man, don't be such a prude. Lillian is a great chic, okay?”

The man – the friend, you assumed – seemed annoyed and you couldn't believe that Steve had not been kidding you. He was actually hiding for the very reason he had offered you. You nodded as you heard the stranger behind the door move and the hand covering your mouth hesitantly disappeared.

“It's just a lip piercing, don't be such a tight-ass. It can actually be quite fun, you wouldn't believe what a girl can do with such thing…”

“Gross,” you commented soundlessly and you could feel your companion’s eyes burning a hole into your head in silent agreement.

“Goddammit, Steve!”

The voice and the footsteps slowly disappeared in the distance and you… you were face to face with a stranger named Steve in a limited space of a dark supply closet, his breath tickling your scalp, his cologne very much assaulting your nose; at least it was a pleasant assault.

“I'm sorry for being so rude. And thank you,” his voice caressed your hairline gently and hearing his suddenly polite tone and evaluating this whole situation, you could barely hold back a giggle all of sudden.

“You're welcome, Steve. How long has this been going on?”

“Two days-” That didn't sound too bad, he could probably take a lot more- “-at this level. With Lillian. It was Emily before that and Angelina before that. In smaller scale, it's been happening for about four months,” he recited dutifully as if he was reporting a status to his boss and this time you couldn’t help it – you giggled.

When you could feel the wounded gaze he gave you, you obediently made a sympathetic noise.

“Aww, poor you, your friend supplying you with no doubt great relationship material…”

“That’s what he said! But I don't want a relationship material. I don't want any material, not even his… one-night stand material. What does that mean anyway? These are women he's talking about, not a material-”

You let out a tiny pleased sound at his exasperation, which shut him up. You wondered if it was your turn to speak – it was hard to tell, supply-closet conversations weren't exactly your area of expertise.

“Kudos for that thinking,” you noted after short silence and the darker shadow of his figure tilted his head. “Did you try to tell him that you weren't interested…? Of course you did, why am I asking, that was a stupid question…”

“It's okay. I'm sorry, I got a little… carried away. It just… it's like talking to a brick wall.”

You hummed in sympathy again and the room fell into silence once more.

It was ridiculous how much your mind started working over hundred percent, trying to come up with something appropriate to say. The best you could do was:

“Hey, you want a cup of overpriced organic coffee? I happen to have two.”

The needy noise that let his lips was downright pornographic. Or maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, the strange environment finally getting to you.

“I knew I smelled coffee here! I thought I went completely insane.”

You couldn't help but smile at that. Yeah, you knew the feeling all too well.

“Nope, your senses were not playing tricks on you. Help yourself. It should be around your left hand.” A rustling of a paper bag. “Oh. That's a carob-nut muffin – with carob instead of cocoa. You can have that too, I won't need that.”

“Alright, I gotta ask. Why are you hiding in a supply closet, with a muffin and two cups of expensive coffee nonetheless? And may I hand you one?”

“Such a gentleman. Thanks,” you murmured and accepted the cup. You weren't lying about not needing it – you wouldn't. Because you were about to quit; it was inevitable.

You sipped the warm liquid, its taste as bitter as the reason behind your actions.

“So?”

“I'm hiding from my boss.”

Your voice must have sounded terrible, because his own softened at the confession.

“And why is that?”

“Because if I bring him his coffee and muffin, he'll probably call me his good girl and— and slap my butt and-”

“I beg your pardon?” he growled, like honest to God growled, the strange sound warming your scalp.

And it was the righteous outrage in the sound he let out, the reaction that you needed, someone agreeing with you – a stranger, who wouldn’t feel obliged to do so just it was a duty of being a good friend to you – that made the levee break. Suddenly tears were streaming down your face, anger and humiliation, and your breath was hitching in embarrassing hiccups and the dark space felt so anonymous and safe at the same time that you didn't even care anymore.

“And if he does that I’ll have to– to quit, because I-I'm so fucking fed up with his dis-disgusting hands and si-sickening voice voicing his lizard thoughts a-and I ca-can't quit goddammit, I worked so fucking hard to-to get a job h-here and-”

You didn't realise your hands started trembling until the cup disappeared from them, placed back on the shelf, and a pair of much bigger and warmer hands gently enveloped yours, his body shifting just a little closer as he lost the support that had been keeping some distance between you.

“Hey, hey, shh, it's gonna be okay…” his voice washed over you soothingly, sounding almost at your ear.

Still, there was space between your bodies, a respectable distance – as respectable as possible in the limited space. It was as if he acknowledged it could make you uncomfortable – which probably wasn't exactly hard to figure out, given what you just told him.

“I'm sorry,” you sobbed and cleared your throat afterwards in attempt to compose yourself. “I didn't mean to load that on you, my problems are none of your concern-”

“Like hell they aren't. Sexual harassment on a workplace is everyone's concern, or it should be,” he grunted. His hands tightened their grip, not uncomfortably – reassuring. “This okay?”

You smiled through your tears. This Steve guy was really sweet to you. You almost forgot what it was like to be treated with respect.

“Y-yeah. Thank you for-- for asking. That was really nice.”

He huffed. “It should be a normal human decency. And I did grab you before that, sorry.”

“Something tells me you would let go if I said no more vehemently.”

“Of course I would.”

You gave him a watery smile he couldn't see and tried to calm your breathing completely. His thumb caressing your wrist helped. You wondered which department he was from; if his skills in comforting came with a job description or if he was a natural.

“Have you… have you tried to fill in a report?” he asked hesitantly, making your heart stop.

Oh yeah, you had. It had ended up in a shredder machine, because Thomas had spotted it. He had made you do it yourself, standing over you and watching, claiming the complaint had been baseless and it would pointless to hand it anyway, because he would explain the HR how it truly was. That you had made a move and he, the good father and husband he had been, politely turned you down, which turned you vengeful.

You whispered the story to Steve, your voice trembling, more tears escaping and you could immediately tell he believed you – because his grip grew steely strong, his teeth grinding.

“This is wrong. You should have never been forced to work for a man like him– objectifying you, touching you, threatening you, that's just--- you should talk to Tony,” he blurted out in the end and you frowned.

“Who's Tony?”

You had checked the whole HR department via their website when doing your research. You couldn't recall any Tony.

There was a short pause, broken by Steve's confused voice. “Stark.”

You blinked, wondering if Steve was joking. He didn't sound like he was joking, which was strange, because so far, he had seemed to be a smart and reasonable man.

“There's no way I'm scoring a meeting with Mr. Stark. And it's not like he’s dealing with things like that.”

“...Talk to Pepper then. I doubt she has bigger than zero tolerance for harassment,” he exclaimed confidently as if talking to Pepper Potts (this time you assumed whom he was talking about – did he call all of the big bosses their first name…?) was an option for a regular human being like you. Realizing that all over again though, that was tough.

“While I believe that’s her policy, it's not like I can just walk into her office.”

Steve seemed to consider that, while his thumb was still drawing patterns on your skin, almost subconsciously.

“I think you could. But if you're worried it might take a while and you’re scared to go back to your office now, let me walk you. I can explain him that every employee deserves to be treated with respect,” he offered finally, deadly serious, yet still sounding kind.

Your heart swelled. A guy you just met (in a supply closet, a good story to be narrated at parties, you supposed), suggested to help you out, no hesitation. God, wasn't he just too pure for this world?

“I… thank you, Steve. But… while you do have an impressive frame, I think it would only get worse. I think I'll just enjoy this extremely hipster coffee, which I'll later have to pay for no doubt and… and go face my boss to hand him my resignation. There are plenty jobs, right? I can as well serve coffee in a café,” you said with a sad smile, letting your hands slip from his comfortable hold.

“That's not right. Especially if you worked hard to– not to mention it's a matter of principle. You run away once and… running is a very hard habit to break,” he whispered, as if a secret, trying to reason with you.

You bit your lip when the truth of his words washed over you, along with the way he spoke; with such a strong believe in principles that should stand a standard. It… he made you forgot your own trouble for a second as you let yourself get lost in him. In the way he treated you, the protector's persona, yet not forced. He had suggested you to ‘let him come with you’, not even a note of command in his approach. This was not a man seeing an opportunity to be a hero when spotting the damsel in distress; this was a man who believed in what was right and wanted to fix things that were apparently broken. You wished there were more men like him, selfishly wanting one of them to be your boss.

“And men like these – they need to be put in line,” he added darkly, snapping you from your daydreaming of a better world. “Let me come with you. I'll—I’ll help you fill in the forms, walk you to HR. You don't have to deal with this alone.”

For all the comfort the dark had offered you so far, you wished for a little bit more light now, enough to see his face, his eyes. You knew they would be burning with honesty, you were sure of it, maybe a little rage aimed at a man who dared to treat another human being the way he did.

The offer was so tempting. But just imagining the security escorting Steve from the building for wanting to help you was enough to put out the fiery need to accept. It was ridiculous to care so much about his well-being after what could be minutes of knowing him, but no one could call you out on it. And if they did, you could always play it cool with ‘matter of principles’; good people only deserved good things.

You carefully reached out, hoping to find his hand again. Your heart skipped a beat when you brushed his thigh instead, but at least his hand was right next to it. He released a surprised breath when you took it into yours, way smaller one. You bit your lip when leaning in a little, blindly trying to meet his gaze.

“You’re a good man, Steve. I’m sorry your friend is giving you a hard time, you don't deserve that – even though I'm sure he means well. If you ever want to get him off your back...” you wavered at the ridiculous idea, but hey, why the hell not, he had offered to help you out first, “you can say you're seeing someone. Give him my card. I'll confirm we're together – he seems like a kind of a guy who would check.”

Shocked breathless laugh erupted from his chest and you assumed you hit the nail on the head. You fished out one of your business cards, handing it to him and releasing his hand then.

It was time to leave and face your fate, but Steve didn't make any attempt at moving out of the closet.

In fact, he seemed to examine the card for a while and then he quietly read out your name. You gasped in surprise. How the hell could he see anything? You could barely make out his silhouette!

“How-”

“I'm used to working in dark spaces,” he muttered absently. “Would you really do that?”

Slightly taken aback he was considering your offer, you nodded, only to realize he couldn't see it--- actually, he probably could.

“I would. Hell, I think I could handle one uncomfortable dinner with your friend vetting me,” you added, slightly amused at the idea. When you could hear his shocked exhale and wanted to take it back. “I didn't mean to-”

“Let me come with you to your office,” he repeated like a broken record and you frowned at the sudden change of topic.

“What-”

“It could throw your boss off your back for long enough for you to deal with the complaint. If you would be comfortable enough to play my girlfriend for a dinner time, why not now?”

Your eyes went wide and you almost choked on air.

“I-what? I told you it would probably only make it worse-”

“It will work.”

“How can you be so-”

The door yanked open and your eyes were hit by an unpleasantly sharp light, making you squint.

“Holy-” a ridiculously familiar voice you couldn’t place breathed out. “Wilson! I found him! You’ve gotta see this!”

You wanted to see the owner of the voice, but your view was completely blocked by the broad chest of your companion.

So you at least raised your head to meet Steve face to face so to speak. You couldn’t see much, your eyes still adjusting; with the light shining from behind him, playing a mysterious game with his blond locks, framing his impressive figure, he looked like a freaking angel, beautiful and righteous, bringing justice, yet wrapped in an aura of peace and serenity. You barely kept your jaw from falling on the floor.

You kept staring, focusing on his face, and slowly started realizing that his features too, were familiar. Mortification was creeping up your back as the puzzle pieces started falling into place, creating a horrifying picture, making you wish for the Earth to swallow you.

The voice from behind Steve’s back resolved the last doubts you had about your temporary mysterious roommate.

“Wouldn’t peg you as a get-freaky-in-a-closet kind of guy, Capsicle.”

You wanted to immediately protest that you had definitely not been getting freaky in the closet, but your brain was still frozen because of the big revelation – that you had just been comforted, hell, that you had just offered to be a fake date to Captain America.

You simply stared at him, unbeing able to hold your jaw from falling anymore. Because– because-- oh god.

Now it made perfect sense that he thought Thomas Gregory would be intimidated… by the idea of harassing Captain America’s girlfriend. You couldn’t really blame Steve for being sure it would work. Also, it kinda explained why he called Mr. Stark or Ms. Potts their first names – they were on the first name basis.

Which really was the least relevant thing right now.

A bashful smile appeared on Steve’s lips, a little guilty perhaps, and you just… giggled at the absurdity. You couldn’t help it. You had just spent minutes in a supply closet with Steve Rogers without having a single clue about it and while you didn’t do anything heated as someone would assume, it was one of the most amazing minutes of your life.

You must have looked like an idiot or something, because he chuckled too, completely ignoring another male voice growing in volume as the newcomer approached.

“Holy hell, man! I can’t believe what I’m seeing!”

At those words, Steve tentatively took your hand with an encouraging smile and led you out to the hall. You were met with two pairs of curious eyes examining you from head to toe. You lowered your gaze, now fully aware of the fact they belonged to Tony Stark – the Iron Man – and Samuel Wilson – the Falcon.

Well. Now the ‘party story’ finally got the right juice.

“Then don’t, Sam, because it’s not what it looks like,” Steve replied to his match-maker friend and took a deep breath, squeezing your hand tighter. “Tony, this woman would like to report harassment on her workplace.”

Your head snapped to Steve’s face with panicked gaze. What the hell was he doing?!

Tony Stark made a noise of disapproval.

“Couldn’t you try harder so she wouldn’t complain about you?”

“Tony,” Steve addressed him, his voice solemn just like his expression, which clearly surprised the billionaire. “I’m serious. It’s not about me. Her boss is the reason why she was hiding here.”

Without commenting any further, Steve handed him your business card and Mr. Stark hummed. You weren’t brave enough to look up. Was he going to wave it off? Was he going to fire you?

He said your name, making you gulp in fright. You had to look up now and you really didn’t wanna, too afraid of what you’d see. You were shocked to meet with a searching gaze, but not a mean one.

“It is true? Is your boss giving you trouble? Making sexist comments? Worse?”

You felt tears in your eyes, utterly taken aback by his sensitive tone, the inviting light in his eyes. It was too much to bear and you wanted to escape the kind gaze; and he wouldn’t let you. You only managed to nod when you felt Steve’s thumb caressing the back of your hand.

Mr. Stark sighed, adding a dark ‘goddammit’, and returned Steve the business card.

“Alright, kids. Let’s have a trip.”

And you just stared.

…what?

Part 2

I know, I know, Steve is a little bit of Knight-In-Shining-Armour here, but it made sense to me O:-)

Happy weekend!

Thank you for reading!

#fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america imagine #steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfic #captain america fanfiction #civilian reader #in the strangest place we just might find love #anika ann

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

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exploded bird + lion secondary (badger model)

Good afternoon Wisteria! I was hoping for your input with my sorting. This MAY become a novel, and i apologize ahead of time for that. Hopefully its interesting, if nothing else.

I am having trouble with both my primary and secondary. Ive thought i had it figured out so many times and then i would reanalyze myself and get confused. So i guess ill start with primaries. I can tell you for sure that i am not a snake primary. I just cant love another person quite like that. I grew up in a very snake primary environment and never felt i really fit in. I really appreciate snakes and i understand them, but i dont think i am one. I also very much pride myself on my individuality and dont bond to groups so i believe that may rule out badger. I think ive narrowed it down to exploded bird or really confused lion.

Interesting. So far so good. Let’s hear what you’ve got.

Right now in life, with all the information coming at me, all the data, all of the twists and turns, media bias, conspiracy theories, rabbit holes and objective realities, i cant figure out the truth.

… sounds like an Exploded Bird to me.

I think all theories are worth investigating and rabbit holes are fun. But i hate hypocrisy. And its everywhere.

I mean, everyone hates hypocrisy… but I think Birds find it *unforgivable.*

I cant organize all of this information.

Exploded Bird.

Dude. Whats gonna happen if deep fake becomes the norm?

eh, Photoshop has been the norm for a long time and we do okay. Some fakes have always been better than others, and there have always been fakes.

I feel like the safest thing to do is to fully understand myself. Then i can analyze and understand the world.

I would agree with that.

I would say that hands down i was an exploded bird, but i feel very strongly about things right away. But then i learn about them more and if my feelings were wrong, ok. Whatever.

This is still Bird. It’s not that Birds can’t feel strongly about things right away. They do, they just don’t feel safe TRUSTING those feelings. Instead they do… exactly what you’re describing here. Learn more, and then if it turns out their initial feelings were wrong… that’s fine, actually. The feelings are of secondary importance.

BUT i also WANT black and white. I want right and wrong. Grey, though necessary and true, bugs me.

… there’s a reason why I call young Birds Black-and-White Birds.

Deep down i crave to just understand something as it is. But one persons truth is not anothers. I get that. But it still bothers me in my bones.

That’s a very Bird primary angst. Birds can have this *fantasy* that if only everyone had all the information and thought it though properly, that everyone would come to the same (correct) conclusion. And then have to grapple with the fallout when they realize things don’t work that way. As a Lion… I’ve never had to fight that particular monster.

I can also seem like i make snap decisions based on feelings to others, but i just know what i want. If something sounds good, i want to do it. At that moment. No hesitation… i think im meshing into secondary territory here

I agree. Improvisational secondary, sounds like.

so ill just go with it. So my bedroom walls are lilac purple and my kitchen is BRIGHT yellow, because those colors sounded interesting. At that moment. I tend to jump into a project having no idea what im doing. I just thought it sounded like fun.

Comfortable making decisions on a whim, just jumping in. Very improvisational.

But thats not really a way to problem solve. When i start said project and then run into a problem, usually ill read about it, or ask someone who knows more than me. The “i know a guy” bird kind of applies here. I know how to make connections within my community and i plan for that. I think about who would be useful to know, based on my goals.

You know, this could be Bird. But I’m kind of skewing more Badger because of the emphasis on community and asking for help. And keeping an eye on ‘who is powerful, who is useful to know’ is a pretty common Badger secondary model manifestation.

But i dont think i build tools like a bird. In fact, binge watching videos on how to do something annoys me. Takes all the fun out of it.

I still think you’re an Improvisational secondary - and a Badger secondary model is *more* likely than a Bird secondary model.

I am always honest with people and i like that about me, but its not out of some need to stay true to myself. Its just because i have learned that honesty works the best most of the time.

So not Lion *primary* then. This is all about method. You don’t lie, because you don’t find it to be a very practical problem-solving method. Being very direct does work, so at this point… Lion is more likely than snake.

Now, dont get me wrong, i am an excellent liar. But only if its on the fly.

Hmm. Maybe a Snake who’s in neutral all the time?

This conflicts big time with my primary, however, so i rarely ever do.

Interesting. Lying conflicts with your (hypocrisy hating) Bird primary, so you don’t do it. Instead you are very direct, and that works well for you. You *can* lie (on the fly) but you generally don’t. Neutral Snake? Snake secondary model? Depending on how you define lying, could even be Courtier Badger. (I am ruling out constructed Actor Bird.)

I feel like ive gone all over the place in a highly disorganized way, so i will state that now i am going to give some anecdotal data. One time, as an adult, i was hanging out with a bunch of kids on a hayride. A little boy killed a butterfly. I was outraged. I called him out. I told him that he just took away the only life that creature would ever have and that was cruel.

Very loud Idealist primary.

This somehow turned into a question and answer school session about human biology, mammals and why on earth is water in a cup clear, but when you dive into the ocean, its blue?

Some kind of social secondary… and I know the obvious thing is to say 'trotting out a lot of facts, that’s bird.’ But I’m seeing you defuse a situation by leveraging your immediate community (Q&A session)? Badger.

I like being the person that gets the scary bugs out of the house because i feel brave when i do.

Sounds pretty Lion secondary.

When in an emergency situation i completely disconnect and become a calm, knowledgeable person.

This is actually a pretty common just, human thing. When things get bad enough, your lizard brain takes over, and everything is very calm and dreamlike.

I suddenly magically know what needs to be done and work with my environment.

Improvisational secondary.

Im also very aware of how everyone else is doing in that situation and i have an innate need to make people feel better so im usually the first to lighten the mood. Ill focus on others before myself if im hurt. Im more aware of how they are doing than how i am doing and i will make an effort to help them first.

Ah yes, the 'tend and befriend’ threat response. Very familiar. And yeah, going from this description I’m going to say very social badger.

In video games… skyrim is best here i think. I want to be a sneaky mage thief. But when something attacks me, without thinking i run right up to it and hit it with my fists without armor.

lol lion. (The classic Badger secondary strategy is BUFF ARMOR. I always play tanks.)

But i get really sad if its an animal.Those wolf whimpers get to me every time.

No one likes the wolf whimpers.

Ok. Ok. Ive rambled enough. Thank you for reading! Any input is greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Exploded Bird, easy. And probably a Lion secondary with a very social Badger secondary model that’s working well for you.

#sortinghatchats #bird lion #birdpri #lionsec #badger secondary model #courtier badger #sortme #wisteria sorts #exploded bird

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along-came-atsushi · 4 years

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Uff, I didn’t even know that this is the fandom’s canon perception, tbh. Of course, to each their own headcanon, it’s not my intention to take that away from anyone!

~ ~ ~

BSD can be pretty dark, but I don’t think that Asagiri is going for heavy themes like this. I mean, it’s a canon thing that Mori is into little girls under a certain age (which he says so himself), and his whole ability is a hint to that, too. Which of course, is extremely unsettling and a bad thing.

But I don’t think Mori abused Dazai the way e.g. Atsushi was abused by the headmaster.

There definitely IS a tense and complicated situation between them, and it started with Mori killing the former PM boss in Dazai’s presence. After that, during the events of Fifteen, it seems that their relationship calms down, with Mori even asking Dazai for advice how he can convince the PM members to acknowledge him as their new boss. Quickly after that Dazai gets already promoted, giving him much more free reign and other tasks to be occupied with. But the tension comes up again at the end of Dark Era, where Mori makes it clear that he used Odasaku for his plans. Which then leads to Odasaku’s death, so this is definitely something Dazai won’t forgive him.

In the beginning Mori takes it into his own hands to be Dazai’s mentor. The reason for this is probably because Dazai reminds him of himself. I’m sure Dazai learned how to fight and torture people from Mori, despite the fact that he learned military strategies from him as well:

But the way he reacts to all of this shows that he tries to shake of his past, which includes Mori’s teachings:

Overall their relationship seems codependent, especially in the beginning. Somehow Mori couldn’t become the new boss without Dazai as witness. Somehow Dazai couldn’t solve the problem the former PM boss posed without Mori. Somehow Mori couldn’t convince all PM members without Dazai’s help. Somehow Dazai just couldn’t leave PM, and so on.

Their close interactions in the past has repercussions in the present day. They both know each other very well, know how the other thinks, what the other would do, what the other is capable of, how much of a threat the other can be (similar to Dazai and Fyodor).

Mori openly wishes and asks Dazai to come back. Even though he has the complete trust and loyalty of his entire subordinates, and strong and decent ability users like Chuuya and Akutagawa (who don’t need Dazai to pose a threat), or the force of the Black Lizard Group. For some reason, he seems to regret now that Dazai left, even though that was his original plan in Dark Era. He himself says that he doesn’t regret it, but actions speak louder than words.

When Mori uses some form of abuse it’s always mental. He uses manipulation or a “mental lock” to get people to do what he wants. This is something Dazai is also capable of, as Kouyou once mentioned:

We don’t know what kind of deal he and Dazai made to kill the former PM boss. But whatever the reason, back then he already used something to apparently make Dazai agree in whatever they were agreeing.

He also did the same with Yosano: He never abused her physically. But he guilt tripped her and, in that way, pressured her so much that it left a trauma in her:

It’s still open for debate what Mori did with Q. At the end of Fifteen Q seems rather comfortable in their surroundings. But whatever happened after that, made them think the way they think now. It could’ve been experiments/torture done by Mori, or he could’ve put someone else with that task. That someone maybe could’ve been Dazai.

I don’t think Mori was in need to physically abuse Dazai. Because whatever their origin story may unfold, that already served as mental lock for him. Mori uses manipulation and emotional blackmail, which are also a form of abuse. I’m not a psychologist, but what wikipedia describes fits Mori’s mental tactics very well:

“Emotional blackmailers use fear, obligation and guilt in their relationships, ensuring that others feel afraid to cross them, obligated to give them their way and swamped by guilt if they resist.”

He even does this with Elise, who’s his own ability, to get her to do the things he wants.

#Ougai Mori #Osamu Dazai #ougai mori bsd #osamu dazai bsd #Akiko Yosano #akiko yosano bsd #Kouyou Ozaki #kouyou ozaki bsd #Kyusaku Yumeno #kyusaku yumeno bsd #Bungou Stray Dogs #BSD #Q&A #tbh i'm chilling on my own isle in this fandom #which is the reason why i don't know #how characters are perceived by the general fandom #but i must say it's very calm and nice here :D #tw abuse #bsd meta

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firemanwhenthefloodsrollback · 3 years

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Who Saved The Day? Season Two

time for instalment 2 of my eight part series Who saved the day? where I will be counting up who saves the day in each buffy episode. we all know who's gonna come in first but I am genuinely unsure who'll place after that in the final leaderboard.

at the end of season 1 the totals were:

Buffy: 10

Angel: 1

Sid: 1

season two is longer, more complex and more emotional than season 1 though I don't think anyone is coming for Buffy's top spot. while I don't think anyone is likely to argue with me about my calls for season 1, season 2 might get more controversial. let's see!

1. When She Was Bad: Buffy

A strong argument could be made for Buffy causing all of the problems in this episode, but she also solves them, and no one else arrives with a sledgehammer to kill the master's minions and grind his bones, so she gets the point.

2. Some Assembly Required: Chris

Another supporting character getting a point, which I'm finding quite exciting whenever it happens. Chris stops Daryl killing Buffy, and Daryl follows up by destroying himself for her.

3. School Hard: Buffy

I would love, love, love, love to the moon and back to give the point to Spike for killing the anointed one. I would love it more than you will ever understand but alas I have rules to follow. Buffy for saving Joyce and the other parents at the school I suppose.

4. Inca Mummy Girl: Buffy

A big part of me wanted to give the point to Xander, because I feel like Ampata getting so weak she turned back into a mummy only really happened because she hesitated over killing Xander and he put himself in her way knowing that was what could happen, but Buffy actually fought her, so I can't give Xander the point.

5. Reptile Boy: Buffy

Nice and straightforward. Awesome work killing the frat lizard.

6. Halloween: Giles

Yes Buffy fights Spike and wins the fight there but the real issue in the episode was the curse on the town and Giles solves that in an immensely stylish way. Giles' first point!

7. Lie To Me: Buffy

Holding my darling Drusilla hostage and letting the cult weirdos get away.

8. The Dark Age: Angel

Another point for Angel. Letting Eyghon into his body so that the two demons could fight was an unexpected and clever ending to a dark and excellent episode.

9. What's My Line 1: Giles (?)

The day is literally not saved here. This episode makes me regret my commitment to needing to pick someone for each episode because it... just doesn't work here. I'm giving it to Giles for working out what was going on? I suppose? I thought about giving it to Buffy for fighting Kendra but she didn't save or win anything so I didn't think it counted. Idk. Comment or message to change my mind and I'm fully ready to change it.

10. What's My Line 2: Buffy

I'd have preferred to give Kendra the point because I think my gorgeous, wonderful, underserved by the plot girl deserves one, but Buffy gets Angel out so it's got to be her.

11. Ted: Buffy

You go girl, end that dodgy episode by whacking the monster with a saucepan.

12. Bad Eggs: Buffy

Using a pick axe to hack the mother creature to death from the inside out: ingenious and also icky.

13. Surprise: Buffy (?)

Man I don't know. She gets the arm in the box and escapes the vampires at the dock and... no one else gets the point. This just wasn't a day-saving episode.

14. Innocence: Buffy

Nothing ever has or ever will make me feel as happy as Buffy kicking Angel in the balls here. Never.

15. Phases: Willow

First point for my heart's darling! Shooting wolf Oz with the tranquilliser gun is a big victory for my brave girl. Buffy bends the werewolf hunter's gun and sends him packing, but Willow saves everyone from the wolf demon and earns the point.

16. Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered: Giles

Giles and Amy both lift the spell, but it was Giles' idea, he had to force Amy to take part and only one person can have the point.

17. Passion: Buffy

I spent a good twenty seconds staring into the space above my laptop feeling my pain when I remembered this episode. I go to a world of pain when I think about Passion, Willow's crying and Buffy's face through the window at the end. Buffy rescues Giles from being tortured but it's a hollow point for this one.

18. Killed By Death: Buffy

A straightforward monster-killing of a straightforward monster of the week.

19. I Only Have Eyes For You: Angel

Angel breaks the cycle and makes the speech that Grace needed to hear. Everyone learns a lesson about forgiveness and is saved from demonic ghost bees (I interpreted the buzzing cloud as ghost bees?).

20. Go Fish: Xander

Xander's first point! I wasn't really sure here as Xander and Buffy fight the coach together, but Xander knocks him on the head when stuff isn't looking good for Buffy so I think he gets a point for that.

21. Becoming 1: Kendra

Feels a bit ghoulish giving Kendra her only point in the episode where she dies, but there wasn't a lot of competition in this episode where everything that can go wrong does go wrong and she does arrive with new knowledge and a magic sword.

22. Becoming 2: Buffy

I would have loved to give Willow the point because she was awe-inspiring doing magic from the hospital bed in this episode. But Buffy closes the portal to the hell dimension and I can't argue with that.

Totals

So at the end of season 2 the cumulative totals stand at

Buffy: 23

Angel: 3

Giles: 3

Chris: 1

Kendra: 1

Sid: 1

Willow: 1

Xander: 1

All the scoobies and angel have at least one point now, and we have a few more for non-regulars as well. I'm imagining that as the seasons go on we'll get more points for characters who aren't Buffy but I imagine she'll end up with more than a hundred episodes by the end, unless something very major that I've forgotten about changes.

We had a few 'no one really won here' episodes which I think we'll get more of with time, and a few 'dramatic speech' savings of the day which I think will increase with time too.

in season 3 I anticipate things only getting more complex and weirder. I'm excited to get there soon!

Read the rest of the series: my intro post, Season 1, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5, Season 6, Season 7

#who saved the day series #buffy #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy meta #season two

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twiststreet · 3 years

Photo

New favorite purchase in a while: my copy of OffGrid magazine (or “recoil offgrid...?”) that I bought at the Sacramento airport because I missed what magazines used to be: little short opportunities on the most casual possible basis to find out about a world not your own, paid attention to with scrutiny but some editorial distance, I guess is how I’d put it. The last days of magazines were a while ago (and the heyday was before I was alive, the heyday was the 60′s)-- and the internet’s attempts to do magazines all seem to have failed, RIP Grantland or whatever. But it was an hour long plane flight and I didn’t want to read the novel I brought with me, so.

OffGrid seemed like it’d be a fun one-- I mean, that jacket. What’s going on with that guy’s life that he was like “I need to wear this jacket?” How much time got spent posing that collar. Why is he in using a laptop in the woods...? You can’t see what’s on the bag to his left but it’s the words “Mystery Ranch.” I wanted to solve that mystery!!!

Plus: for a good solid moment, I was like, “Man, what if I had a DIY Junkyard Knife Project. What if that’d be good for me, like, as a new thing? What if immersing myself into high-end artisnal shivs could become a fun side hustle? I could sell my bespoke shanks at Guns and Knives Shows.” My whole thing lately has been trying to pivot and all, so. You know: dreams; aspirations; etc. (Bladeshow West is on October 8-9 in Long Beach and has the “West Coast Flipping Championship”, but I’m out of town).

So I open it up on the plane-- inside front cover is a photograph of a socom 16 cqb, opposite a photo of a man holding the rifle. The man’s beard is exactly what you’re imagining. Most of the ads are for guns or night vision shit (one ad is for Gatorz sunglasses, though-- “the world’s best eyewear for mission driven people”). Besides that, it’s a normal-looking magazine, albeit not a particularly inspired one on the design side, but. There’s a gear section like men’s magazines always have, but for the “ultimate go bag”, bikes, “urban use” hiking boots, dinner sausages, thermal optics, knives, and a book called “The Ninja Wilderness Survival Guide.” Ninjas were big outdoorsmen. You know: so far so good-- exactly what I wanted. It’s a magazine for MEN in all caps so everything being sold is exclusively black or grey or grey-brown.

And it’s got that sort of “we’re a magazine” tone to the prose, like there’s a certain style of writing that magazines always have-- it’s such a narrow band of style that people are okay with reading... but like from the survivalist sausage review:

“As much as we fancy ourselves survivalists, not all of us are going to take down a buck, field dress it, and haul it back to home base during a weekend camping trip with the family. Sometimes we just ilke to chill and and make s’mores.”

That sort of performance of humility that magazines have. “We’re all just people here. Now here’s our review of a $90 hatchet” (‘perfect for batoning wood.’). Part of me wants to live in the world of magazines...

But then you get to the Good Part-- the article “What If Your Privacy has Been Compromised by Internet Doxing” by ... “Recoil Offgrid Staff.” Ohhhh, I see what they did there. You’re not going to dox the person who wrote this article, folks. (Except the names of staff are all listed in the magazine credits, so not the tightest op-sec I’ve ever seen, but okay).

This article kind of catches the eye because of the extremely specific hypotheticals.

Because it’s an article about what to do about internet doxing but it begins with a section called “The Setup”, laying out a scenario that YOU, the READER, might have to worry about, a situation where you might very well get doxed and then what??? Here’s that part of the article:

The Setup: imagine you attended a city council meeting to express your concern about the side effect of a growing homeless population in your area. You plan to voice your concern for your famliy’s safety after witnessing an increase in drug sales, sexual assaults and public defecation. [...] Some activists who attended this meeting did so in an effort to retaliate against residents who were speaking out against the homeless problem. [..] An online petition appearing to solicit residents to push for legislation that imposes tougher penalties against homelessness had recently been started. [...] Everyone who’d signed up had been catfished. [...] Now, hostile notes are being left in your mailbox, harassing calls and texts from blocked numbers are coming in and you genuinely fear that the reprisals will become physical.”

The entire premise of the article is that you say something so hateful at a city council meeting about “how we need to punish the homeless” that the internet causes you to fear for your safety!! Your A+ plan to **have the same decrepit bureaucracy that’s allowed a homeless crisis to just terrorize people because they can’t pay for basic survival** is so despised that you need to read a magazine article urging you to (and this is a quote) “decide whether to stay at my residence, leave my house temporarily, or permanently move.”

(The worst doxing I ever saw was because women went near video games, but).

Just this ultra-specific hypothetical! There’s a real “office staff” 10000% got made fun of on twitter for yelling some dumb shit stink to the proceedings from, ike, paragraph 3 on. And if you were wondering whether the article would complain about vaccines later, you betcha. In a later section, the article warns you to obtain situational awareness and not engage with internet crackpots, but the hypothetical example they give is “Did that person actually say they believe that anyone who’s hesitant to be vaccinated should be compelled to do so or be banned from participating in any social activity?” Use your situational awareness! Stay away from that person online but insist on coughing around them socially! They can dox you just for trying to negligently murder their immuno-compromised grandpa!! Here’s an ad for a gun.

Here’s a drawing that comes with the article:

The reader is being asked to relate to the person looking at the phone! “That’s probably what you look like.” I mean... seems fair?

The next article is with a veteran of the IDF. There’s an article about hiding secret messages in memes (the example is a meme of a dog that say “love is in the air or is that bacon?”), which suggests you hide images in “raunchy images” since casual onlookers may click away from those faster... on the internet... where raunchy images are frowned upon?? There’s an article about how to escape if you’re ever tied up with duct tape (i’m going to live forever). There’s an article about the kinds of reptiles you want to hunt when you’re trying to survive that tells readers not to hunt crocodiles, and stick to snakes and lizards-- there goes my weekend.

But I just love that at the very core of this, that they say the quiet part out loud, that the reason you need all this survivalist knowledge and tactical gear is... because quote “self-proclaimed social justice” people out there don’t want to hear your A+ super-good ideas about society. A young person called me a Mayonnaise-Turd for refusing to be vaccinated and coughing on all the produce at Krogers. What’s the best tactical knife I can buy? Waaaah. Just the constant fear that drips off of these morons, because they live in a world where they get called stupid finally with the regularity they’ve long deserved. Just the most scared fucking cowards-- they need night vision goggles to fucking go to Dave & Busters, because these stay-puft marshmallow men think that AntiFa is going to bumrush the Dave & Busters for their skeeball tickets.

I love anytime you scratch away at Real Masculinity and find the throbbing, wet Hyperemotional Pussy underneath that’s there like at least 7 out of 10 times. That was basically the premise of the entire early 00′s in comedy, and I had a really good time, but then woke comedy-scolds made them stop and then ended comedy and replaced comedy with Bo Burnham filming himself crying while waiting for Door Dash in his mansion. I don’t understand the world anymore! I wish I’d owned a PFC9 Compact pistol with aggressive slide serrations when children killed bromance comedies!!!! Jason Segal and Paul Rudd haven’t made a movie together in years-- time to go off the grid!

#Civilization is Doomed.

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flyingupward · 3 years

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critical role - vox machina chapter 4 - attack of the conclave

all sentences taken from episodes 39-56 of the first campaign of critical role. feel free to change pronouns, phrasing etc. to fit your needs!

“All this time, you’ve been trying to kick my teeth in and your true enemy was right over there.”

“That’s good. Moving is not my forte.”

“We’re in a hentai. Make it go away.”

“Not all short people look alike.”

“God, I wish I was not made of farts.”

“We live in a cold, cold world. No one deserves anything.”

“You chose so poorly. It is truly impressive how poorly you chose.”

“Stay away from all men. Forever.”

“I’m glad I came in handy for that field trip.”

“I hate your friends!”

“Little do they know I shop for everything at Home Goods so joke’s on them.”

“It’s just radioactive material in the basement. It’s fine.”

“Somehow the coffee has not been poured on your head. That’s the greatest magic trick I’ve seen all morning.”

“Everything else was dragons. Why wouldn’t it be dragons?”

“Sorry, I was so caught up in the fact that I’m literally going up against death incarnate.”

“You’re a magnificent handsome bastard. Don’t die.”

“Do not go far from me.”

“He’s just a sociopath, that’s all.”

“There are dragons outside and we’re playing rugby with a fucking skull!”

“A simple mind is looking for a simple solution to a complex problem.”

“I’m a firm believer that there’s always a way to victory if we’re smart about it and we’re quick about it.”

“We either stand now or we might as well be dead.”

“We try, we mostly fail, but occasionally we get it right.”

“It was such a bad deal I said no. Can you imagine how bad of a deal it must have been?”

“No offense darling, but you look like shit.”

“If we’re going to be roaming about the streets, I’d like you to not fall open like a can of baked beans if you don’t mind.”

“Let’s not get overexcited about the sudden realization that some of us can be a bit iffy.”

“Thank you for that smattering of applause.”

“I have one of those terrible ideas I get on occasion.”

“This is politics. You’re not supposed to like them.”

“You can talk my fucking ear off in a moment. Shut up for a second.”

“If the parasite hasn’t a host to feed on, the parasite dies.”

“I never forget that when I rule, I rule these people as well.”

“One day, you’re going to stop being afraid of me and I hope that day comes soon.”

“There’s no swinging by, that’s a caper.”

“It will be built back better than before. That’s what we do.”

“We have a lot of Pop Tarts, but not very many gold pieces.”

“This is where I live. What are you doing here?”

“I’m cold and I still haven’t been paid.”

“We’re not trying to score points. We are trying to do right.”

“This is fucking happy fun bunch over here. They bring death with them everywhere they go.”

“And to think I might have briefly missed you.”

“You have to find the no name guy who’s going to help you find the stuff that’s hidden that nobody knows where it is or what it is.”

“What do you want to do? Do you want to stay here while the world burns?”

“World’s always ending, baby.”

“It would be wondrous, after we complete this transaction, that we never meet again.”

“Oh my God, I just buy healing to save my life, what a waste.”

“I’m going to stand over here and fail to stay in character, okay?”

“Let’s all have a toast to the inevitability of the universe.”

“My God, I love other people’s problems.”

“Are we sober yet?”

“I think her foolish impulses are exactly what we’re looking for.”

“Better to die a fool for something than live in regret for doing nothing.”

“I think we want her to do her stupidest.”

“You’re… brooding.”

“I tend to glaze over when he’s talking.”

“Lead the way, shitkicker.”

“A lot of your friends are very weird.”

“I would just like to point out that I’m mostly sober.”

“That’s okay because remember, I’m me.”

“I’d like to stand up, please.”

“I’m scared to death which is why the math is so bad.”

“I’ve met few as unremarkable as you in my travels.”

“Well then, we’re in trouble. I have an attitude about everything.”

“Yeah, there’s like 37 things we have to do before tomorrow so… ”

“She’s not really gonna care about court so much as ripping the bones from your back.”

“I thought you were gonna tell me a dirty joke or something. When you say, ‘Come here,’ that’s usually what that means.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s going to be daylight if we’re underground.”

“I’m really hoping that it’s the worst decision we make because then everything’s uphill.”

“I like who we are together and I think that that’s important.”

“Dying in slow motion over here.”

“Oh good, more darkness.”

“Oh my God, you’re going into a special section of your book. That’s never good.”

“I’m very aware that my greed killed me.”

“Oh, I must have missed it because I was dead. That’s right.”

“Do you have feelings and did that hurt them?”

“I’m pretty tired after dying.”

“I think I love you too. I’m just terrified to allow myself to.”

“We are a city of seasonal affective disorder.”

“So I heard a rumor that you sort of saved my life in a really creepy sort of way.”

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you my Pokemon.”

“Your secret is safe with my indifference.”

“I always fucking hear you in my mind. It’s very quiet in there these days.”

“If it becomes a problem, just raise your hand and scream.”

“Our lives are so bizarre now.”

“Why is my brain tingling? Is someone noodling around up there?”

“You know what? It’s just fire. I will be on fire.”

“Did someone lose an orb?”

“Are we really about to pretend to do CrossFit?”

“Not enough spit takes in the world for this moment in time.”

“Beyond it being an engineering issue, it might be a greed issue first.”

"She's an adult. Deep levels of arrested development, but an adult nonetheless."

“Retroactively, you’ve never been seen in your entire lives.”

“You take everything good away from all of us.”

“It’s not one problem, it’s a very large problem and a massive problem.”

“Those that give a fuck, speak up.”

“We’ve lived half our life in the shadows. You’ve made them your home.”

“I love my reckless brother as much as he hurts my heart.”

“Duck hunt’s a bitch.”

“This is so dumb. Why am I doing this?”

“Congratulations, you’re creepy as fuck.”

“Give me this you fucking hoarder. What’s the matter with you?”

“I will smite you.”

“I was born to shove things in holes.”

“Knowledge is power, for reals!”

“Are we time bandits now? Is that what’s happening?”

“I hate time travel. I hate time travel so much.”

“No worries. I didn’t need to live anyway.”

“Perhaps it’s time to be a better badass.”

“It’s been a traumatic five minutes.”

“Like any good plan, everything will go wrong.”

“Oh well, I’m fucked then.”

“Oh, tiny dancer, you are fucked.”

“He died as he lived: Deeply unimpressed.”

“Don’t you dare die happy.”

“I like that we managed to make solving problems with violence into an ABC afternoon special.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say, ‘At dawn, we plan.’”

“I genuinely don’t understand the place you come from.”

“That is the weirdest coping mechanism I’ve ever heard of.”

“Maybe we should just sleep together and see what happens.”

“Thank you for telling me the truth after you sort of lied to me.”

“Yeah keep twitching, twitchy.”

“We totally planned at dawn!”

“Everything is terrible. Our lives are terrible. They are way worse than they were six months ago.”

“You are a fucking madman, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m fucked. I understand I’m fucked. It’s fine.”

“This was all part of the plan, the hastily smushed together plan.”

“He’s a liar and a bringer of death and he’s smiling at you while he does it.”

“Bravery means nothing. Survival and victory mean everything.”

“Oh shut up, you flying suitcase.”

“You don’t need inspiration, you’re fine!”

“If I move, he’ll kill me. So I won’t.”

“Cursed Lizard! We’re going to give all your gold to the poor!”

“Don’t be so glum you old fool! This is a day of glory!”

“We will all die. It just depends on cost.”

“Oh, wow. You just said a lot of things in a very short amount of time.”

“You are the worst of us.”

“If there’s a dare involved, that’s completely different.”

“I don’t like wanting things.”

“Is it the people or is it the fact that you have finally realized how pointless it all is?”

“I feel like I’ve been lied to my entire goddam life and it’s all crashing down upon me right now.”

“The thing is you’re not wrong and you’re not crazy, but it’s not hopeless either.”

“Even surrounded by friends, I often feel so alone.”

“Thank you for being a friend even though we just met.”

“The terrible woman may have a point.”

“Woo! Good leadership!”

“The awkward woman makes a fine point.”

“It is not about idolizing ourselves, it is about a very long story which we are a very small part of.”

“I’m doing something very stupid now with my friends. We’re going to try to save the world.”

“I admire everyone in our band of misfit toys, but you most of all.”

“You are all kinds of fucked up all the time and that’s why we love you.”

“We’re all all kinds of fucked up and that’s why we all are together.”

“That’s all we can be is ish.”

#MEME | incoming #long post #i know i still have some other memes to answer but i finished this one so #send me these and i'll answer them all tonight/tomorrow

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captainficspace · 4 years

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Game Night- Five’s Day

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Characters: The Hargreeves Sibs

A/N: I think this is actually my favorite fic I’ve written for this week. I couldn’t wait to post it :)

Movie night wasn’t the only “mandatory fun” the household had started keeping up with. Game night probably never would have happened in a million years if Vanya hadn’t suggested it and everyone wanted to let her have this one thing. Not that it had gone well, naturally. The initial concern would be that no one would care enough to show up, but the opposite ended up being true. No, everyone cared entirely too much when it came to game night. She had forgotten that everyone in the house was competitive as all hell, and so far there had been three game nights in a row that ended in someone flipping the board in frustration. It took serious begging to give it all one more try, and reluctantly, everyone agreed, if not out of the potential entertainment that would come from giving Klaus a Taboo buzzer.

Vanya had also thought things over, learning from the past nights. This had to be different. Everyone gave her looks of startled bewilderment when she came into the house that day, Klaus in tow, with a traffic cone, a 2x4, spray glitter, and a bulk bag of googly eyes.

“We’re making the game this time and it’s gonna be better than anything else you suggest, so don’t even start.” Klaus announced.

It somehow ended up being so much worse. There were seven pages of hand-written rules and a haphazardly painted board studded with google eyes and plastic dinosaurs. They had all been trying to play for a solid half hour and not even Vanya could remember what the objective had been. Putting the finishing touches on the game had taken up a good part of the night, so midnight was slowly approaching when things started to get real.

“So clearly, the spacemen need to roll to enter the chaos volcano and trade for the ice crystal if you’re going restore the dinosaur kingdom.” Diego moved the plastic army man they had been using as pawns, approaching a cardboard volcano at the center of the board.

“We don’t have enough HP to enter the volcano realm, yet. Everyone still needs to collect the spells.” Luther said, flipping back through the rules again for what seemed the thousandth time. None of it made sense. Vanya sank down in her seat ever so slightly. The goal was to make a game where everyone used their competitive-ass natures to work together for once, and she couldn’t even do that right. Five kept looking at her out of the corner of his eye, silently begging for her to allow him to leave. If this didn’t turn around in fifteen minutes, she was throwing in the towel.

“How can we be spacemen and also wizards?” Allison asked, looking over Luther’s shoulder to see the rules for herself, trying to find the bizarre cast of characters they had to pick from when starting the game. Spacemen, necromancers, aliens, ghosts, something called Bananamen…was there even a mention of wizards here? Five, on the other hand, had not looked at the rules since beginning out of silent protest for being part of game night once again. He stared into space or at the bottom of his empty mug, waiting for everyone to give up so he could just go to bed.

Klaus had long stopped trying to explain the rules that he and Vanya had come up with and instead became distracted with how many of the little plastic eyes he could pick off the board and stick to his face.

“Well, my character is a dinosaur and also a necromancer, so anything is possible.” Vanya added, trying to stay positive.

“See, so she can resurrect us in the volcano realm.” Diego said.

“She can only be allowed three healing spells. Did you pay any attention to the lizard king?” Allison asked.

“If Diego had used the action cards to fill out the sidequest-“ Vanya tried to balance between letting the others figure things out and outright telling them what to do out of growing frustration, and it wasn’t going well.

“Who has time for the sidequests?”

Five buried his face in his hands, slowly slumping down in his chair. No one could tell him he wasn’t being a good sport for just showing up.

“You’re just going to sit there as a level-two hermit and tell me, to my face, that I’m wrong?” Oh great. Diego was on his feet now, staring Luther down across the table. It was only a matter of time before the giant sheet of plywood they had used as a board was going to go flying.

“I will look you dead in your face and say you have zero idea how the sidequest with the elf queen was supposed to get us to the volcano realm.” And now Luther was also standing, nearly hitting his head on the chandelier that hung over the table. A shadow fell over the board

“Hey, guys. Look. I’m an angel now.” Klaus interjected, drawing attention to his eye-covered face, “I’m using my holy damage by punching the volcano in the face until we get the ice crystal.” The two feuding brothers ignored him, still refusing to take a seat until the problem was solved.

“You shut your damn velociraptor mouth.” Diego growled.

From behind his hands, Five squeaked. Vanya looked closer and realized his shoulders were shaking. He wasn’t just playing up his exasperation for dramatic effect; he was giggling. The others turned as well, equally surprised.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Allison asked, “We hadn’t heard much at all from our level 3 firebreather.” Five shook his head, still covering his face. He was doing a progressively worse job at keeping himself quiet, and his laughter was beginning to break through, high-pitched and sweet.

“He would always get like this when he stayed up too late.” Luther said, “Don’t you guys remember?” The memories slowly started to come back of them sneaking into each other’s rooms after lights-out to actually be kids for once. Five was always the first to succumb to the midnight giggles, curling up and hiding his face in a pillow to muffle the sound so he wouldn’t get them caught. It would spread like wildfire, and they would all end up giving into that magical hour of the night where everything became funny, cracking jokes and teasing each other and finally not taking anything too seriously. Either Five had never outgrown it, or it was just another perk of new form.

“He’s overtired. I guess he’s just loopy.” Allison said, grinning as she heard a muffled snort come from the giggling pile of sleep-deprived goo that was her brother. He put his head down on the table and buried his head in his arms, well-past being able to stop at this point.

“Instead of turning into a pumpkin at midnight he just turns into a gigglebox.” Klaus leaned over and squeezed his knee, “Come on, let me see your smiling face!” Five squealed, nearly falling out of his chair trying to squirm away. He still refused to lift his head and show that he was actually capable of laughing.

“We need your firebreather wisdom, be a team player!” Diego added, coming over from behind and digging his hands into his ribcage.

A solid thud came from under the table, knocking over several pieces on the board from the force. Everyone sitting nearby said a silent word of thanks that Five ended up kicking the underside of the table and not anyone’s shins. Five kicked like a mule when he was tickled, especially in the scream-laughing stage Diego had him in as he wiggled his fingers in-between each bone.

“Oh, and now he’s taking down the bananamen army.” Luther said, throwing up his hands in mock-anger.

Five finally lifted his head, swatting his brothers away. His unrestrained cackling bounced off the walls, almost startling in its volume and intensity.

“E-Enough!” He squeaked out, sniffling. His face was bright red and streaked with tears. The brothers slowed down, but still didn’t stop completely, sneaking in pokes and squeezes to keep him giggling.

“His dimples hadn’t changed at all.” Klaus said, pinching his cheek and giving him one last tickle behind his knee. Five swatted him with one hand and muffled his laughter with the other, shoulders shaking. He couldn’t look Klaus in the face with those stupid googly eyes and Diego’s ‘ ”shut your velociraptor mouth” comment kept playing over and over in his head. The teasing and the tickling did nothing to help his attempts at pulling himself together. He pounded his fist on the table, the hand over his mouth doing little to suppress his giggle fit.

“Is it past someone’s bedtime?” Allison asked, doing everything in her power to be condescending.

“I h-HA-hate you!” He managed out at last. Everyone waited for him to blink away in a burst of angry eyebrows and swearing, but he stayed. He actually stayed. Vanya then considered every part of game night a success. No one had seen or heard Five laugh, really laugh, in forever. She had almost forgotten what it sounded like. Five himself probably forgot what it felt like, still shaking with leftover giggles from the tickle attack. He finally caught his breath, trying to scowl but failing.

“I hate you.” He repeated, wiping his eyes.

“You hate how much I’m kicking this volcano’s ass.” Klaus said, “You wish you were a level 420 angel spaceman like me.”

“Now you’re just making things up!” Vanya said. The game was hopelessly out her hands at this point, but she was strangely at peace with it.

“We made up the entire game! If anything, I’m just creating the expansion pack as we speak.” Klaus defended, grabbing the rules out of Vanya’s hands and scribbling a new page of ideas.

The game went on well into the night, with each twist and turn becoming more and more bizarre. Five’s uncommonly giddy mood was infectious, and everyone had to stick around to enjoy it while it lasted, even grabbing at his knees when he tried to shift back into his typically grouchy state. The ice crystal was never acquired, but Five ended up with the hiccups from laughing so much and so hard, so everyone thought the evening was worth it. As the game wrapped up, everyone left the room feeling somewhat lighter, relieved almost. They were going to have to start later more often.

#tua tickle fic week

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elenamegan14 · 4 years

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Twisted Wonderland: Headcanons for Dorm Haunted Houses Pt.6 - Scarabia

MASTERLIST

Part 5

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THE ATTRACTION:

You wanna see one dorm that goes all out this year? Look no further. Scarabia spared no expenses on making their haunted house looking so EXTRA fine.

I mean, we’re talking about real gold, jewels, and high definition special effects. Oh, and yeah, Jamil and Kalim made a lot of effort to make those bodies look REAL.

Scarabia’s haunted house is an Arabian “Cave of Wonders” that leads to a wondrous treasure fault. Legend said it housed a wishing lamp that grants wishes upon its rightful owner. Many had attempted to get the fabled lamp, but those who entered would never come out again. All those who came perished by the traps… or by its guardian itself.

Merchandises were also made - they got the usual keychains, t-shirts, and even plushies of Kalim and Jamil in their Haunted House outfit. Most of Kalim’s dolls have nearly sold out, which irritates Jamil a bit.

They got an auction to get the replica of the wishing lamp - it was sold for 993,000 madols.

When the guests and students first enter the house, what greets them is the sight of a gigantic blue tiger. Jamil and Kalim made it so that the giant tiger head’s eyes could move around and made an illusion with the sand that it could move around as well. They can see blood and corpses littering across the cave entrance. A booming, intimidating voice rang through the gates...

“ONLY ONE MAY ENTER, THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH.”

As they entered through the dark and wet cave, the guests and students could see the horrible fates of the tomb robbers. Some are pinned by spikes, some are squashed by rocks and some even got gobbled up by bugs, mummies, and even the monstrous stone statues of snake guardians itself.

At times, they were scared off by mummies coming out of their coffins, enraged stone statues, and snake guardians slithering out of every hole on the walls, popping as they pleased. MC’s group were wary of every crack and holes and jumpy at every noise.

They even have an interactive game inside, where they can get small prizes if they win. The game is to put all the jewels evenly within the scales guarded by monstrous stone lizards and snakes. If they won, they got the prize. If not… well, even if it’s not real, they will fire blue flames at the people. It cost 5 madols to play the game.

Kalim. Sweet precious sunshine Kalim is dressed as a genie. A cute turban rested on top of his head. “Isn't this cool?! I heard that the Sorcerer of the Sand used to have a genie who does his bidding, so I decided to become the genie itself!” Oh, KALIM.

Like, Kalim is VERY popular with the kids and girls. Why wouldn’t he? Compared to the other scary actors, Kalim is very friendly, immediately drops his character when it gets too intense for the audience, and even helps a lost, crying kid to his parents back. WHAT A SWEETIE.

Yet, he was scolded by Jamil to get back to his post and character, “There is a reason WHY we have a scream counter!”

Of course, Jamil IS the NAGA. And he was scarily GORGEOUS. Scaly red, black, and gold scales adorned his face, his arms, and his chest. Gold pieces of jewelry with rainbow-colored gems adorned every single bit of his body, making him impossibly alluring. A red veil closed half of the bottom of his face. MC swears that their heart skipped a beat when they saw him - to the point that they almost got distracted when Jamil hypnotized them.

It’s not only MC. Almost everyone with a naga-fetish kink immediately got lured by Jamil. They don’t care - LET THE SCALEY BASTARD CRUSH THEM WITH THEIR TAIL.

Ah, but Jamil did not also want to seduce them. The purpose of a haunted house is to SCARE the pants off them, so once he managed to get his victims into his arms… he will reveal his “true” form by extending his jaw like a snake.

Jamil bragged that he might scare most of the kids… but he got more girls (and a few boys) approaching him than Kalim did. Even if they worked together, Jamil’s competitive streak with Kalim never ends. //sighs

He’s also responsible for scaring most of the guests and students. Jamil will jump out of nowhere, hissing in close-up and sometimes touching people straight on their shoulders then slithers off. It was creepy.

But as they went deeper to the caves, they noticed that it became more gold and glittery. The guests then went through the treasure vault, where mountains of gold coins, jewels, and even expensive diamonds littered all across the floors and walls.

Oh, and all those things were real too. (“Kalim, when I said to fill in with gold coins, I didn’t mean for it to be real. People are going to steal it.”)

Of course, some of the opportunistic guests and students tried to steal it.

Which is why Jamil made counter magic so that any guest who tried to touch it would receive a mild electric shock, and for all the poor schmuck students to trigger the traps if they touched the treasure to protect El-Asim's fortune.

They even put a sign that says: “Warning! Please do not touch it! You’ll be sorry!”

The main centerpiece of Scarabia’s Haunted House is the back chamber where the lamp is hosted. On the center of a beautiful gazebo filled with calm blue colors, lies a golden lamp encrusted with colorful jewels placed inside a plush, velvet pillow. Next to it, there was a snake statue holding a bloody, giant ruby. DO NOT TOUCH IT AT ALL COST.

Otherwise, Jamil will slither right at you.

Jamil is there, with a giant hourglass, hissing and scaring everyone yet making all the ‘monster lovers’ feel flustered.

Sometimes he can be seen eating a screaming scare actor, his jaws are wide and splattered with blood, guts everywhere it’s just sausage and ketchup.

Once the hourglass reached the end, the cave was lit up with red lights and flames came bursting out almost near the guests and students.

Poor MC got a part of their hair singed when they almost came too close.

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THE MISSION:

Kalim, the guide, is more than happy enough to relay the mission: inside this “Cave of Wonders” is a lamp, which is guarded by the vicious vizier-turned-naga, who greedily tried to covet the lamp for himself only to fall to its curse instead. The charm is inside the lamp, and students must survive the cave of wonders to get to the center of the haunted dorm itself.

To get to the lamp chamber, the students must solve one of the “interactive games” set up for them to get a piece of the puzzle that would open the chamber itself. It was guarded by stone snakes that would eliminate you if you failed to complete it within a limited time. They were given three tries before the statues threw them outside to enter again.

The students were told that they can’t touch any treasures except for the charm itself. If they do… well, there’s no guarantee they can get out of the cave itself “alive”.

Also, Kalim warned them that if they ever encountered a naga, do not look into their eyes or they’ll hypnotize you to walk straight into their jail or a trap.

They have set up the atmosphere to be glamorous - all jewels and stuff, but when a student foolishly falls into the temptation of stealing a bit of real jewelry, he is immediately caught in a trap: getting pinned on the wall with knives, swords, etc. Don’t worry, he lives.

He did beg to be let go though.

The weeping did not help. Everyone almost felt sorry for him, but… THE CHARMS!

Actually, that guy served as an example. The students never thought that they WILL become part of the attraction for the guests if they fail.

Soon after, more people are falling into traps - turns out, touching the treasures isn’t the only way to set it off - Kalim and Jamil make sure that there are hidden buttons and puzzles that would trigger each different trap.

So now there are many students who are crushed by oversized styrofoam boulders, stuck inside a mummy casket with a terrifying mummy corpse prop, falls into a trap door, nearly impaled by spikes (they have no idea how Ace got into one, but HE’S FINE), being put to sleep by darts loaded with chloroform, buried underneath a glass case filled with black bugs (Jamil’s idea), and many more that you can think of.

During the commotion, one of the charms from MC fell off. A student saw it on the ground, shining brightly. He grinned deviously, fingers twiddling to reach the charm.

“Heh, heh! Today is my lucky day-” He got vibe-checked by the styrofoam/wood Pendulum of Doom(™) out of nowhere.

As if it’s not enough, Jamil appears out of nowhere to scare the victims before dragging them off course, putting them inside the “Cage of Shame”.

It’s just a jailbox filled with failed students being put outside the haunted house, becoming an attraction for the passersby. They have to be content being laughed at than to go through the haunted house again.

MC’s group found an interactive game. It took them at least two tries to get it - Ace, Deuce, and Grimm are responsible for most of the failures, the dumbasses - but Jack unexpectedly solved it. Everyone’s jaws had dropped.

“What? This is just a simple scale game. I learned it from my sibling’s video game before.” Jack retorted. It was a children’s math education game.

After they escaped from more traps, avoid TOUCHING THE GOLD AND JEWELS (“Would it kill you to lay off from the treasure?!” Epel slapped Deuce, Ace and Grimm’s hands so hard that it throbbed) and put the puzzle to open the chamber, they finally saw the lamp.

Here’s another thing that the guide told them: to get the lamp, they have to watch out from triggering more traps - the platforms are fragile, so there’s a chance they could fall into the water if they do not tread the platforms carefully. Also, please avoid the GIANT RUBY as it will trigger the Naga Guardian to be summoned in place.

Epel, being athletic, volunteered to get the lamp.

He managed to avoid the pitfalls, the stones, and even falling spikes. He managed to reach the lamp and get it… except for one problem.

See, that giant Ruby is too much to bear. People want it - in fact, it’s so shiny and red… Ace is drooling. Counting how much he can sell on his head.

But Grimm, being Grimm, falls into one final temptation. That giant jewel on the snake statue - SO UNBEARINGLY BLOOD RED, AND HUGE, AND ASKING TO BE TOUCHED- congrats Grimm, you’ve become Abu.

Jamil came out immediately, all scaly and terrifying. He grabbed the screaming Grimm like a ragdoll.

“INFIDELSSSSSS!!!!” Jamil hissed, “You have touched the forbidden treasure! Come as you may rescue your little friend, but you’ll never see the light of the day... again!”

The Guardian Naga then puts Grimm in a freaking large hourglass, stating that once the last sand falls, they will all be eliminated.

Where the hell did they get a giant hourglass? Who knows, they have a flying Racoon to save. GDI, Grimm.

The only way to save Grimm is to steal the key on Jamil’s neck that would open a hatch for Grimm to escape. Ace, Epel, and Jack are in charge of attacking and distracting Jamil. Meanwhile, Deuce will deal with getting the key. MC is told to stay the sidelines to guard ALL the charms (“You’re important to us, kantokusei!” Deuce yelled, avoiding Jamil’s tail. It made MC blushed a bit.)

As Deuce was about to reach the key, Jamil noticed his presence and threw the poor guy right at the attacking trio like a pinball bowling. Jamil then slithered towards the frightened MC.

Now you see here, Jamil felt he had gone EXTRA mile to make himself monstrously appealing to MC. He does have an interest in them after they defied him when he last Overblotted, so he took this chance to - ahem! - “impress them”.

“It’s just you and me, Dorm Leader...” Jamil coaxed, using his hypnotizing Unique Magic again, grabbing MC’s chin. “Just relax and… trussssssst in me.” Jamil’s eye seemed to glow as he coaxed MC into his arms.

MC struggled hard, but they also took this chance to grab a hold of Jamil’s key and pushed him away, much to his surprise.

They throw the key to the recording Ace, getting Grimm out of the hourglass hatch with barely a moment to spare. Afterward, they immediately book it, leaving behind a grumbled Jamil…

...but not before he gave a final hiss and a lick to MC. They got flustered - the rest of the group weren’t happy. Ace gave Jamil a middle finger before he left.

So they got a few close calls with the trap, Ace immediately went after Grimm to try and struggle the furball with Grimm only defending himself that the giant ruby calls out to him - don’t tell me you guys don’t feel it too! As usual, these idiots denied it.

Kalim went after them, congratulating on completing the challenge and getting the charm. "Did you guys like it??? Did you have fun?? =D"

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the best question because it’s their turn trying to get Kalim for putting the REAL jewels and GOLD COINS as a set trap. What was he thinking?

And then Epel gets depressed. He sighs a lot as they went onto the next haunted house. They only realized it a while later after they got curious at Epel’s sudden demeanor - Epel came from Pomefiore dorm. AND THEIR HAUNTED HOUSE IS NEXT.

Just like Epel’s immediate annoyance, the smell of aromatic perfumes, iron, and sounds of fangirl squealing echoed as the Pomefiore’s Haunted Dorm looms ahead...

Part 7

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hailing-stars · 4 years

Text

next time we’re going bowling

summary

“Do you think if the vampires suck my blood they’ll turn into spider-vampires?” Peter asks them.

Bucky narrows his eyes and tilts his head at him.

Sam grimaces, then shakes his head. “Now we are. Do us a favor and don’t get bit by one.”

The cage returns to silence, and Peter becomes more fidgety, more anxious to avoid overhearing anymore of the vampire dinner party happening up above. He tries not to let his mind drift to the unlikely hood of his plan not working, and that if it doesn’t, two of them will end up as appetizers.

“Seriously, guys,” says Peter. “If they turn me and I end up biting your neck, you have full permission to stab with a stake and light my body on fire.”

It’s Peter, Sam and Bucky VS a bunch of vampires.

read on ao3 or after the undercut!!

It isn’t the worst cage Peter’s ever been locked in. Actually, it’s kind of nice. A little doom and gloom, not much lighting, but he’s relaxed, with his back propped up against the black brick wall behind him and his legs kicked out in front of him.

That’s the mark of a good detainment, he decides, leg room.

Even if his company doesn’t appreciate their mission, and current situation for what it is, quality bonding time, Peter doesn’t care. He’s determined to make the best of it.

Bucky sits in the corner, half his back against the unbreakable bars (he spent the first thirty minutes of their imprisonment trying to snap them in half with his metal arm) and half against the bricks. Sam’s sitting next to the door, occasionally glancing at the hinges, and trying to work out a way to trick it into opening.

Their sulky silence is getting old, and Peter begins tapping his fingers against the concrete floor. Without any noise to focus on his extra sensitive hearing branches out in all different angles. He can hear the leaky pipes, the rotting wood of the ancient building they’re stuck underneath, and the monsters upstairs, clinking together wine glasses filled with blood.

“Do you think if the vampires suck my blood they’ll turn into spider-vampires?” Peter asks them.

Bucky narrows his eyes and tilts his head at him.

Sam grimaces, then shakes his head. “Now we are. Do us a favor and don’t get bit by one.”

“Seriously, guys,” says Peter. “If they turn me and I end up biting your neck, you have full permission to stab with a stake and light my body on fire.”

“I’m already considering that, actually, just to shut you up,” says Sam.

“Hang on,” Bucky pipes in. “How do you know they’re gonna pick you?”

“Well it’s obvious isn’t it,” says Peter, without blinking. “Vladdy said they’ll kill two of us and turn one, and I’m the most capable vampire candidate.”

“How’s that?” Bucky presses more, seeming, almost, slightly offended.

“I’m youngest, the strongest, half-spider. It’s a no-brainer.”

“I’m more menacing. And the strongest part is debatable.”

“But you’re pretty old, no offense,” Peter points out. “And you’ve become way less murdery over the years, so I’m still thinking they’ll pick me.”

“Will you two can it?” Sam stands up and grips the handle of the cell door. “They’re not picking any one of us because we’re getting out of here. Stop arguing about nonsense and help me think of a plan.”

“Already got a plan,” says Peter, with a shrug.

Bucky and Sam glare at him.

“Look all we gotta do is get Bucky to hit them with his silver arm, and poof, vampire problem is solved.”

“Peter,” says Sam, after a long pause and a long breath. “It’s werewolves that don’t like silver. And Bucky’s arm is metal, it’s not made out from silver.”

“Same difference, same color. Besides vampires and werewolves are like the same thing? They both have pointy teeth and like to eat people, so what’s the difference, really?”

“I guess now we know why Bella had just a hard time picking between Edward and Jacob,” says Bucky, leaning his head back against the bars. Sam and Peter stare at him. “What? The Tower gets boring sometimes and Scott lets me borrow his books.”

Before Peter could point out that it was always obvious Bella was going to choose Edward, the door at the top of the basement door creaks open. They all fall silent as the vampire, wearing a black suit and a velvet cape descends the stairs. His pale skin made him glow, almost, even in the darkness of the room.

Peter takes a deep breath and stands. “Hey, Count Chocula, mind letting us out of here? Didn’t anyone ever tell you? It’s rude to keep your guests waiting.”

The vampire doesn’t respond. Instead he continues to approach the cage, walking so graceful for a few seconds Peter thinks he’s gliding. When he gets to the bars of the cage, Peter steps up next to Sam.

He knows he has to be fast, and he is. With one fluid moment, he takes the small, but sharp, wooden stake out of his pocket and stabs it through the heart of the vampire on the other side of the cage. Vladdy falls to his knees, red eyes filled with pain, and Peter takes a step backwards and down on his knees, too.

“Quick!! Before you die, which one of us was gonna be turned vampire?”

He opens his mouth to answer but falls flat on the concrete before he can reply.

“Damnit. Whatever. He was gonna say me.”

Sam punches him on the arm. “Did you have that this entire time?”

“Yes,” says Peter. He shrugs. “We were vampire hunting. I had to have supplies.”

“Might’ve been nice to mention it, Pete.”

“We were bonding.” It’s his only defense, and the truth. He can handle vampires on his own, but why do that when he can also invite Sam and Bucky? “Besides I didn’t think we’d need it. It was my backup plan.”

For the third time the cage falls silent. Sam glares at him, while Bucky searches the dead vampire corpse and finds the key to their cage. He unlocks it and they spill out into freedom, the three of the looking around the dark basement, then finally up the stairs, the only way down of the coven’s house.

“Gotta anymore supplies?” asks Sam.

With a grin, Peter pulls three small gold and red Iron Man water guns from his pocket. “They have Holy Water inside. There’s this lawyer I know in Hell’s Kitchen. He knows a few priests.”

Sam and Bucky each take a water gun from Peter.

“They just had to be Iron Man…” Bucky’s voice trails off as the shadow of more vampires appear in the doorway at the top of the creaky, wooden stairs.

“I’m borrowing them from Morgan.”

“Of course.”

What happens next is the highlight of Peter’s week. It’s a water gun fight, except he’s shooting actual vampires and watching them crumple to the ground, scream, and be wiped from existence. He’s doing pretty good, too, until he’s out of water gun and gets cornered by one he hadn’t seen coming.

“Oh shit, oh shit,” he repeats, voice getting higher, as his back hits the wall. He puts his arms up to protect himself, bracing for a bite that would bring about the reality of spider-vampires, but it never comes.

Instead, he hears more screaming, and when he looks, he sees the strangest sight since he walked in on Tony brushing Gerald’s fur. It’s the vampire, biting down on Bucky’s arm, and wringing in pain as Bucky pushes it off, its teeth remaining in his arm, pulled straight from the vampire’s mouth.

Sam is quick to put the creature out of its misery with a few sprays from the water gun.

And that’s it. They’re done. They’re three Avengers standing in a basement with a dead coven laying at their feet.

“That was… so awesome!” says Peter. He takes a step closer, and examines the teeth stuck in Bucky’s arm. “I knew your prosthetic would come in handy.” He looks at Sam. “See? My plan worked.”

“Barely.”

Together they do the last part of their job. They get a gallon of gasoline, pour it over the house, and light a match. Sam drops it in the basement where all the bodies lay, and they sprint from the house and watch from the yard as it begins to burn.

“That was fun,” Peter decides out loud. “We gotta hung out again sometime.”

Sam puts a hand on his shoulder. “Next time we’re going bowling.”

Bucky’s too preoccupied trying to remove the teeth that are still lodged in his arm to offer anything meaningful to their conversation.

“By bowling do you mean- “

“-actual bowling,” says Sam. “No vampires. No aliens. No freaky giant lizards.”

“Oh,” says Peter, deflating at first, but then after thinking about, “That sounds nice, actually.”

“I think I’m gonna need Stark to build me another arm,” mutters Bucky.

Sam whistles his agreement, and they turn their attention upward again, where the house, along with the monsters inside, are burning to the ground.

#my fic #Peter parker #sam wilson #bucky barnes #vampires #whumptober day four #caged

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