#better we are than them. in how just the hosts' disregard for their feelings is. etc. fucking repulsive

[skrunksthatwunk]

hey real quick bc i haven't seen anyone really talk about it; fuck Hoarders. what a disgusting fucking show. like i know a lotta content boils down to "let's gawk at mentally ill or poor or whatever ppl" but this one specifically really peels my paint. it's sickening. let's spend an hour walking around someone's house and going "wow!! look how fucked this is!!! i can't believe you live like this (despite having done like 13 seasons of this)!!!! you really need to get your act together, buster!" and then interviewing the family to get sound bites demonstrating how much of an Unreasonable Burden the subject is and (without actually helping any of the mental health issues that may lead someone to hoard) roll their eyes at them when they are upset at someone taking and trashing/destroying their precious belongings (or are made to do it themselves). and then half the time in the where are they now segment it's like "yeah they relapsed lol idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" like??? no shit dumbass.

i don't care how strange their homes or habits are. these people are deserving of compassion and real, honest help. they don't need people to marvel at how Kooky Wacky Bonkers™ they are, and they don't need people to hurt them just because they don't understand what they see in their possessions or are embarrassed by knowing them or whatever.

we don't need another voyeuristic savior-complex charade where the condition for The Most Half-Assed Help You've Ever Seen is being publicly humiliated and having to destroy things that mean a lot to you. what the fuck.

#a lotta these situations involve actual danger for the subject or their dependents so like getting rid of stuff is sometimes necessary #but just taking the rug out from under them without additional support isnt gonna help anyone longterm #and mocking them on national television certainly isnt either #like if someone's keeping dead cats in their freezer i feel like there are more constructive ways of dealing with that than 'lol' or #'youre a disgusting freak and we're gonna display that to everyone and also not help you fuck you etc' #like. god. #im not arguing the subjects are all saints or whatever either btw but they deserve to be treated like human beings #like?? forcing someone to destroy or throw out most of their posessions and mocking them for being emotional about it is cruel #it's no less cruel just because you dont get why theyre attached to those things #maybe it's even ESPECIALLY cruel because of the nature of hoarding #it's so dehumanizing #and idc if some of the subjects have been helped by being on hoarders. ppl could just help w/o mocking them and they could do a better job #if the show helps ppl it's on accident. the purpose is to watch and revel in it. in how stubborn and deluded people can be. in how much #better we are than them. in how just the hosts' disregard for their feelings is. etc. fucking repulsive #it's a dr phil situation imo #anyway my parents used to watch it a few years back and it's always bothered me that their chill sunday entertainment was. this shit. #and the subjects' faces when they see the cleared out house is almost always so.. strained. #i think it's a part of a broader problem with this kinda content and its fetishization of the reality check #to them the feelings of the deluded person don't matter because they annoy or inconvenience their peers #hence the 'i can't believe you care about this garbage' mentality of the show. even if that care comes from illness those feelings are real #so to force them through step 8 of a recovery process before steps 1-7 and then insult them for not recovering is just. god. #i hate it i hate it so much

[asksythe]

MXTX Interview with Risa Wataya for Subaru Magazine P.8 (Final)

Future Plans

Risa: Are you perhaps working on a novel? 

Moxiang: I have not a few works in progress, but because my creative process is slow, for the foreseeable future, no work has taken proper form. 

Risa: If you can write freely without worrying about reader's reception, what kind of story will you write? 

Moxiang: Personally, I enjoy and pride myself in being able to satisfy myself and my readers at the same time. Therefore, I never thought about disregarding my reader's reception. I really have not thought through something like this before, so I would like not to answer this question. 

Risa: What have you been doing recently? 

Moxiang: Recently, I'm into playing with slime. On my days off, I also want to play slime with my friends, or I think: "What do I eat today?" That sort of stuff. 

Risa: So cute. Ms. Moxiang, even though you are so busy, you still reserve time to sit down and talk to us. Such a wonderful opportunity. Thank you! Lastly, other than the stories that you are working on, is there anything you would like to tell your Japanese readers? 

Moxiang: Dear Japanese readers, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. No matter if it is today or in the past, when I think about how my work has been translated into Japanese and read in Japan, I always feel an indescribable emotion in my heart. I am so, so happy. 

Furthermore, regarding my newest work, "Tian Guan Ci Fu," I must apologize to all of you. Also, "Mo Dao Zu Shi" that we just talked about as well. Originally, there were no scenes where Lan Wangji visited the Burial Mound and the kiss on Bai Feng Mt. (Mount Hundred Phoenixes). These scenes were added on in the extra 50 thousand words edit in the new edition. But at the moment, the 'Tian Guan Ci Fu' that Japanese readers have is the old edition without the additional contents. For the foreseeable future, it will only be this old edition. I don't know when the new edition will be ready or if there will be any further changes. I profusely apologize for this.    

Risa: We will work on this new edit with utmost seriousness. 

Moxiang: That's right. We will treat it with the highest level of care. 

Risa: Kuohao-san, please say something to the audience waiting for the third season of the audio drama. 

Kuohao: The third season is progressing very nicely in both story and the Wangxian romance. It will certainly be very exciting. Many details will be gradually revealed, and there will be countless famous scenes between Wangxian! Please listen to it! 

Risa: Thank you both of you for today. I hope there will be future opportunities like this. 

Moxiang: To be honest, this is my first official interview. I am better at writing than speaking. I'm a little clumsy with my words. Today I was so very nervous. Thank you, Ms. Risa, for following and recommending "Mo Dao Zu Shi." Ms. Risa's Mandarin is excellent! I look forward to future opportunities to sit down and talk. Furthermore, I hope I will have more opportunities to connect with my international readers.  

-From Sichuan Province, China, November 28th, 2022-

Translator’s Note: with this done, I will take my time to reorganize all 8 parts of this translation into a single file, proofread, and edit it. My plan is to host this one file on a platform that can be easily stored and shared among the community. So probably Google Drive. I will post the raw Mandarin transcript of the interview too, for people who can read Mandarin to read it directly. 

I’m thinking whether I should put it on other platforms too, for safekeeping, because digital things can disappear randomly. I’m not sure where though. Tumblr and twitter are hardly suitable for archival purposes. AO3 maybe? If you have suggestions or advice, I would be very happy to hear them. 

Translator’s Note 2: recently I was told that my sharing this translated interview might be illegal and will negatively impact the fandom and make reprints of the magazine harder, that it will negatively impact fan etiquette. I concur this is a potential issue. So I would like to take a minute to clarify a few things. 

1/ This interview was conducted in Mandarin and then translated into Japanese by Subaru and printed for their May-June 2023 edition. This edition is now being scalped on Japanese web for 7-10 times its original price. 

2/ I originally got a single scanned page of the magazine (Japanese) and translated it with the help of my husband. I was waiting for further scans, but luckily, the actual translator (Mandarin to Chinese) working for Subaru posted the entire Mandarin transcript on weibo. Subsequent parts of this translation was made based entirely on this transcript. As my Mandarin skill is much better than my Japanese skill, this is reflected in the quality of the translation from part 4 onwards (something I intend to fix in the edit). 

So we have a situation where: the magazine is in Japanese and sold to Japanese fans. The Mandarin transcript is posted publicly on weibo to Chinese audience (although that might change at any moment). I am Vietnamese, living and working in Vietnam, translating from Japanese / Mandarin to English for an international fandom (my husband is American citizen working for Saudi Arabia... if that’s relevant to the issue). 

I am not a lawyer, so I don’t know how copyright laws apply here, or even if it applies at all. Again, if anyone has advice, suggestion, concerns, I would be open to hearing them.  

I did intentionally add in footnotes explaining lingual concepts and cultural, philosophical references, to potentially lean on Fair Use (if it applies). 

That said, I don’t want to negatively impact MXTX, so if I receive official request, I will take this translation down. 

Regarding potential fan etiquette, I don’t really participate in the international fandom, but I do know fandom politics can be difficult to navigate. It’s not really my place to gatekeep any body. As far as I’m concerned, if the story brings you joy, then that’s a good thing by itself already. 

So, I would like to ask anyone who read this translation to please keep this in mind. Fan translation is a gray area issue. Whatever you feel, please consider the wellbeing of the fandom itself, and to not potentially negatively impact Ms. Moxiang. If there’s anything you don’t like in this translation, please just chalk it up as my translating skill not being up to snuff. 

Sincerely,

NPD Khanh 

#mxtx #mdzs #interview #translation

[dollar2host]

Why Is Your Website Loading Slowly?

Your website's success is directly correlated to the speed at which it loads pages. It has an effect on a wide range of important metrics, such as the conversion rate and the visibility of your website, for example.

There are a number of readily available speed tests that you can use to discover how well your website performs in comparison to others. Even though there are a number of potential causes for your website's slow performance, you should be able to address the majority of these issues by utilizing high-quality web hosting and free WordPress plugins.

In this article, we'll explain why it's so important for your website to have a fast-loading time. After that, we will discuss the remedies to typical problems that might result in a website's performance. Let's just jump right in, shall we?

Why It Is Important That Your Website Loads Quickly

Users have come to predict a rapid load time when they visit a website. The User Experience (UX) of your website will suffer if the loading time of individual pages is significantly longer than assumed. This is significant since the user experience (UX) of your website directly affects the conversion rate.

You should also anticipate a greater page abandonment and bounce rate as a result of this change. To be more exact, research has shown that the bounce rate of a website can increase by 103% for every additional two seconds that it takes to load the page. In addition, a delay in loading of even one hundred milliseconds might result in a decrease in conversion rates of seven per cent.

Even fractions of a second are important, which is why it is essential to optimize the performance of your website as much as you possibly can. In addition, the speed of your website not only affects whether users remain on your site and convert, but it also affects whether or not they can even locate your website in the first place.

Google's ranking algorithm now takes into account how quickly a site loads on both mobile and desktop devices. It is possible that the visibility of your website on the search engine results pages (SERPs) will diminish, which will, in turn, result in reduced levels of traffic.

When the success of your website is at stake, you cannot afford to disregard the importance of speed. If you're feeling overwhelmed, a good place to start would be doing tests to figure out where your website is at the moment. You can obtain a better idea of how long your users are waiting by doing load time tests, after which you can start to work on reducing those numbers.

Reasons Your Website Is Slow:

After you have determined the present performance of your website, you can begin to work on optimizing the important aspects that have an effect on the site's speed. Let's have a look at the most prevalent issues that are responsible for slow website performance and talk about how to fix them.

1. Page Load Times Are Being Delayed Due to Render-Blocking JavaScript

Users will only be able to take advantage of your website's functionality and interactive features if JavaScript is used as the code. Your website wouldn't be nearly as interesting without it. On the other hand, if JavaScript is not optimized, it can slow down the loading time of your sites in the browsers used by your visitors.

When a web browser attempts to show a webpage, it is required to pause in order to completely load any JavaScript files that it comes across. This causes something that is known as "render-blocking JavaScript," which is a type of JavaScript that slows down the loading time of the page.

There are three different approaches to dealing with JavaScript that prevent rendering:

·        Get rid of any outside JavaScript files and replace them with inline JavaScript instead.

·        Utilize asynchronous loading to ensure that the JavaScript component loads independently from the rest of the page.

·        Put offloading JavaScript until the remainder of the page has been loaded and is visible to the user.

·        Each approach has a number of advantages and disadvantages. When used in moderation, inline JavaScript can help increase page speed; however, excessive use is not recommended. Because files are not loaded in any specific order while using asynchronous loading, this can result in problems. Because of this, delaying JavaScript is typically the strategy that is advised to use.

2. You Do Not Make Use of a Content Delivery Network (also Known as a "CDN")

A Content Delivery Network, often known as a CDN, is made up of a number of servers that are dispersed across the world in key geographic regions. You can store copies of your website on them so that people who are located a great distance away from your primary server can still swiftly load the pages of your website. 

There are many Contents Delivery Network (CDN) alternatives available for your WordPress website. Cloudflare is one of the most widely used systems, and the Jetpack Content Delivery Network (CDN) is widely used for delivering photos and videos. 

In addition, rather than loading jQuery from your website's web server, you can load it through a content delivery network (CDN). Because jQuery requires a significantly lower number of lines of code than JavaScript does to achieve the same results, it can be a very helpful tool for increasing the speed of your website. The two most widely used content delivery networks (CDN) for jQuery are Google and Microsoft.

3. Your database has an excessive amount of unnecessary overhead.

The term "overhead" refers to unnecessary objects in the database of your website. These items include logs, transients, and other entries that can accumulate over time as a result of plugins or themes. An excessive amount of this "overhead" might make database queries take significantly longer than is strictly necessary. It is even possible that it will result in your web server timed out while it is waiting for a response from your database in some circumstances.

This can be avoided to some extent by performing optimization on your database and removing any unnecessary overhead. The majority of website hosts make it possible for you to access the phpMyAdmin database management software through your hosting account. You can utilize the WordPress Command Line Interface, often known as WP-CLI if you are unable to optimize your tables by using the phpMyAdmin interface.

4. The CSS on Your Site Isn't Optimized for Search Engines

If your site's CSS, which is the code responsible for decorating its pages, is not optimized, it can slow down the loading process in the same way that JavaScript can. You have a few options available to you for getting your CSS into shape, including the following:

If you have multiple external CSS files, you should consolidate them into one or a few larger files.

Get rid of all the external CSS and replace it with inline CSS instead.

You can determine when particular CSS files should be loaded by utilizing the "media types" attribute.

Inline CSS, much like inline JavaScript, is only beneficial for relatively tiny amounts of code. You shouldn't attempt to include all of your massive CSS files in your HTML file if you have multiple large files, to begin with. If you have more than one external CSS file, specifying the types of media being used and integrating them into a single file should have a more substantial impact.

5. The OPache service is not activated.

The programming language PHP comes equipped with its very own caching engine called OPcache. If PHP is used on your website, turning on OPcache can help speed up the loading of PHP, which will, in turn, help speed up the loading of your pages.

When you choose to host your website with one of our Shared WordPress or Dollar2host plans, OPcache will automatically be enabled for you. It is quite possible that you will need to enable it manually if your website is hosted on one of our other plans or with another web host.

6. Problems with caching prevent optimized page loading from taking place.

Caching is the process through which browsers keep static versions of the files on your website. The user's browser will then display the data that has been cached rather than having to reload it each time the visitor visits your website.

Those that use WordPress have access to a number of different caching methods, one of which is the utilization of a caching plugin such as WP Super Cache.

7. Poorly-Written Scripts Are Causing Conflicts With Other Components of the Website

When poorly written JavaScript is used on a website, it can occasionally cause compatibility difficulties with other aspects of the website, which can result in longer load times. When conducting a speed test with instruments like Pingdom, Web Page Test, and GTmetrix, it is possible to identify scripts that are taking a significant amount of time to load.

After that, you can do a more in-depth investigation of these files to decide how you can enhance them. You could also find it helpful to temporarily disable possibly troublesome scripts in order to observe how your performance scores change when these scripts are disabled.

8. The Code on Your Website Is Too Bulky:

The length of time it takes for your website to become visible to a user's web browser is directly proportional to the amount of code that website has to load. Your website's load time could be affected if the code you use is too "bulky" or if it includes characters and line breaks that aren't necessary. In response, you can "minify" the code by deleting the components that aren't required for it to function properly.

There are two widely used plugins available for accomplishing this goal. In addition to inclining CSS and optimizing JavaScript files, Autoptimize can also reduce the size of the code. Additionally, it works well with the WP Super Cache plugin.

Conclusion:

Because the performance of your website and the response time are directly related to its level of success, it is in your best interest to take advantage of any chance that presents itself to enhance it. If you can determine the cause of your website's slow load times, you can improve both its search engine optimization (SEO) and user experience (UX), which will ultimately lead to more visibility and a greater conversion rate.

In this essay, we have discussed twelve of the most prevalent factors that contribute to sluggish website speeds. Despite the fact that ideally, you want to optimize your site in all of the ways that we have described, identifying specific areas for improvement such as enabling caching or compressing your media assets can help you handle the most significant problems first.

Are you looking for a web hosting solution that can fulfil the performance requirements of your website? The Cheap Shared Hosting plans that we offer are an easy-to-use, low-cost solution that is optimized for WordPress and perfect for first-time customers. Have a look at them right away!

Mary Thomas

Dollar2host

Dollar2host.com

We offer professional web hosting services to meet your specific requirements.

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[stupendousdelusionkid]

3 Key Factors in Healthy Relationships

Phishing Emails claiming to be from an online dating site and encouraging you to divulge personal information. We are here to offer our years of advice both personal and professional. We use training and personal experience to make sure you have the best possible dating adventure. We combine the best aspects of online dating with a host of personalized services to help you find that special someone and make your life more enjoyable and manageable. Disregard the quantity of people together with options that come with the dating site - more and more people on a dating site - more opportunities you get. We host our charity dating events on a quarterly schedule, and sometimes throughout the year there are additional special charity dating events where we find extra opportunities to give back. Using this information, companies can recognize opportunities and communicate with customers in a scalable way. At The Dallas Dating Company, we’re not satisfied with the same old tired events, or the “cattle-call” mentality that some dating companies inflict on their members. Being located in Dallas and having our people a part of the community has its benefits, ones that we’re happy to pass along to you.

Being located in the Denver area and having our people as a part of the community pays off for you. We invite you to explore our website and learn more about what makes us unique,as well as the many exclusive benefits available to you upon qualifying as a new member of The Denver Dating Company. Multiple campsites, as well as backcountry camping, are available year-round throughout the park on a first-come, first-served basis. נערות ליווי בתל אביב והמרכז Also well known superstars discuss utilizing matching internet sites to locate love. And some options that come with the dating sites can definitely relieve your search or find you better fits! The bolder the better. What better way to meet like-minded members than by partnering with a charitable benefit? You ought to constantly do just a little research and work out certain that the individual is truly solitary before you decide to become familiar with them any better.

Contact us today to see if you’re eligible, and let us get to work helping you find the special someone you’ve been waiting for! It’s healthy for couples to have individual interests and to spend time apart, but healthy couples do enjoy spending time together, whether they binge a TV series together, work out together, or enjoy regular date nights. If you are frustrated by the online chit chat, then it’s time to take your search to a whole new level. It is then impossible to execute this centeredness with someone in rebellion and is cut off from God. We don’t just stick you in a room with a thousand other random strangers, and then a buzzer goes off every few minutes and you all scramble for a new seat, like some kind of terrible version of musical chairs. Signing legal documents like prenups and divorce papers can be sketchy during this time, as it's more likely you'll miss something important (especially if you ignore the fine print). Sasha is Tyreese's sister; however, after Tyreese's death, Sasha becomes more a loner. However, that doesn't mean some of those whoppers can't be damaging. Genesys. "What Is Contact Center CRM?".

‘separated’ but they spend the whole date answering calls from their ‘ex’. And our Date Coordinators, Concierges, and Matchmaking Specialists are just like you in the sense they know how it feels to re-enter the dating world (maybe after a long break!), how it feels to want something more from a relationship, and what it’s like to meet and spend quality time with others in the same frame of mind. Space between you doesn't have to feel like distance between you-if you do it right. When you come home to be surprised by a candlelit room, a dozen roses and him or her preparing your favourite meal, you’re disappointed because you have your favourite mag in one hand, your favourite ‘takeaway for one’ in the other and, well, when you imagined tonight - it didn’t look like candles and roses and favourite home-made dinners. In this manner, you will be able to make it to understand them and have as much questions as you’re able to think of.

[vivacissimx]

Theon & the myth of return

Mishmash of favorite quotes & arcs: Theon is home to a lot of the darkest parts of asoiaf, from his ward/hostage years as the price of his father's rebellion, to the horrific abuse that shapes his ADWD chapters. He complicates a lot of our initial conceptions—the Northerners as benevolent/righteous actors, our desires for retribution, the cycle of abuse. We're left with so little ability to judge Theon when all that's left is bones and a prayer that when he calls himself a ghost, it feels like a natural place for him to reside.

Theon's life is changed first by the war that sees him taken to Winterfell and then by the war that returns him to Pyke, both requiring him to shapeshift (unsuccessfully). Only once in any of his POVs do we see him with a friend or confidant, because in fact his relationships are marked by mistrust and violence. Theon is not particularly honest but he holds up a mirror to his surroundings in a way that is. He's illuminating and uncomfortable. It isn't as simple as hating Theon when he passes the point of return because there are a dozen such moments, both done by him & done to him.

Instead what Theon impresses on us is that there's no such thing as return. Faulkner said: The past is never dead. It's not even past.

Some patterns beneath the cut for returning/witnessing/mirroring:

"My lady, that is a monstrous suggestion," said Rodrik Cassel. "Even the Kingslayer would flinch at the murder of an innocent child."

"Oh, would he?" Theon Greyjoy asked. "I wonder."

-AGOT, Catelyn III

As a boy, he had lived in fear of Stark's stern face and great dark sword. His wife was, if anything, even more distant and suspicious.

-ACOK, Theon I

***

"Kill him, Robb," Theon Greyjoy urged. "Take his head off."

"No," her son answered, peeling off his bloody glove. "He's more use alive than dead. And my lord father never condoned the murder of prisoners after a battle."

-AGOT, Catelyn IX

"Hostage?" The word raised Catelyn's hackles. Hostages were oft exchanged. "Lord Bolton, I hope you are not suggesting that we free the man who killed my sons."

"Whoever wins the Seastone Chair will want Theon Greyjoy dead," Bolton pointed out. "Even in chains, he has a better claim than any of his uncles. Hold him, I say, and demand concessions from the ironborn as the price of his execution."

Robb considered that reluctantly, but in the end he nodded.

-ASOS, Catelyn VI

***

Half my life I have waited to come home, and for what? Mockery and disregard? This was not the Pyke he remembered. Or did he remember? He had been so young when they took him away to hold hostage.

-ACOK, Theon II

"Gods be good, Theon, how can you do this? You know I must attack, have sworn..."

"If this host is still in arms before my gate when the sun sets, Beth will hang," said Theon.

-ACOK, Theon VI

***

Lord Eddard had tried to play the father from time to time, but to Theon he had always remained the man who'd brought blood and fire to Pyke and taken him from his home.

-

His father slid his fingers under the necklace and gave it a yank so hard it was like to take Theon's head off, had the chain not snapped first.

-ACOK, Theon I

***

"There is no shame in that. A lord must protect his smallfolk. Cruel places breed cruel peoples, Bran, remember that as you deal with these ironmen. Your lord father did what he could to gentle Theon, but I fear it was too little and too late."

-ACOK, Bran VI

Outside he heard sobbing as the castle folk were pulled from their beds and driven into the yard. I'll give them reason to sob. I've used them gently, and this is how they repay me. He'd even had two of his own men whipped bloody for raping that kennel girl, to show them he meant to be just.

-ACOK, Theon VI

"Hold my tongue or lose it."

"Roose has trained you well." She left him there.

-ADWD, The Turncloak

***

Ser Rodrik waited in the market astride his dappled gelding. Beside him, the direwolf of Stark flapped from a staff borne by young Cley Cerwyn. They were alone in the square, though Theon could see archers on the roofs of surrounding houses, spearmen to his right, and to his left a line of mounted knights beneath the merman-and-trident of House Manderly. Every one of them wants me dead. Some were boys he'd drunk with, diced with, even wenched with, but that would not save him if he fell into their hands.

-ACOK, Theon VI

"Theon Turncloak," someone said as he passed. Other men turned away at the sight of him. One spat. And why not? He was the traitor who had taken Winterfell by treachery, slain his foster brothers, delivered his own people to be flayed at Moat Cailin, and given his foster sister to Lord Ramsay's bed. Roose Bolton might make use of him, but true northmen must despise him.

-ADWD, A Prince in Winterfell

***

In Pyke, it would seem, the old wars were still being fought. That ought not surprise him. The Iron Islands lived in the past; the present was too hard and bitter to be borne. Besides, his father and uncles were old, and the old lords were like that; they took their dusty feuds to the grave, forgetting nothing and forgiving less.

-ACOK, Theon I

Roose Bolton seated himself across the table from his son. "Barbrey Dustin is my second wife's younger sister, Rodrik Ryswell's daughter, sister to Roger, Rickard, and mine own namesake, Roose, cousin to the other Ryswells. She was fond of my late son and suspects you of having some part in his demise. Lady Barbrey is a woman who knows how to nurse a grievance. Be grateful for that. Barrowton is staunch for Bolton largely because she still holds Ned Stark to blame for her husband's death."

-ADWD, Reek III

***

Whenever he'd imagined his homecoming, he had always pictured himself returning to the snug bedchamber in the Sea Tower, where he'd slept as a child. Instead the old woman led him to the Bloody Keep. The halls here were larger and better furnished, if no less cold nor damp. Theon was given a suite of chilly rooms with ceilings so high that they were lost in gloom. He might have been more impressed if he had not known that these were the very chambers that had given the Bloody Keep its name. A thousand years before, the sons of the River King had been slaughtered here, hacked to bits in their beds so that pieces of their bodies might be sent back to their father on the mainland.

But Greyjoys were not murdered in Pyke except once in a great while by their brothers, and his brothers were both dead. It was not fear of ghosts that made him glance about with distaste.

-ACOK, Theon I

Winterfell was full of ghosts for Theon Greyjoy.

This was not the castle he remembered from the summer of his youth. This place was scarred and broken, more ruin than redoubt, a haunt of crows and corpses. The great double curtain wall still stood, for granite does not yield easily to fire, but most of the towers and keeps within were roofless. A few had collapsed. The thatch and timber had been consumed by fire, in whole or in part, and under the shattered panes of the Glass Garden the fruits and vegetables that would have fed the castle during the winter were dead and black and frozen.

-ADWD, The Prince in Winterfell

***

Theon Greyjoy put a hand on the hilt of his blade and said, "My lady, if it comes to that, my House owes yours a great debt."

-AGOT, Catelyn III

Bolton's pale eyes looked empty in the moonlight, as if there were no one behind them at all. "I mean you no harm, you know. I owe you much and more."

"You do?" Some part of him was screaming, This is a trap, he is playing with you, the son is just the shadow of the father. Lord Ramsay played with his hopes all the time. "What… what do you owe me, m'lord?"

"The north. The Starks were done and doomed the night that you took Winterfell." He waved a pale hand, dismissive. "All this is only squabbling over spoils."

-ADWD, Reek III

***

Suddenly the wine turned bitter in his mouth, and when he looked up from his cup he saw that he was dining with the dead.

King Robert sat with his guts spilling out on the table from the great gash in his belly, and Lord Eddard was headless beside him. Corpses lined the benches below, grey-brown flesh sloughing off their bones as they raised their cups to toast, worms crawling in and out of the holes that were their eyes. He knew them, every one; Jory Cassel and Fat Tom, Porther and Cayn and Hullen the master of horse, and all the others who had ridden south to King's Landing never to return. Mikken and Chayle sat together, one dripping blood and the other water. Benfred Tallhart and his Wild Hares filled most of a table. The miller's wife was there as well, and Farlen, even the wildling Theon had killed in the wolfswood the day he had saved Bran's life.

-ACOK, Theon V

There are ghosts in Winterfell, he thought, and I am one of them.

-ADWD, The Turncloak

"Theon," he repeated. "My name is Theon. You have to know your name."

-ADWD, The Sacrifice

#theon greyjoy #theonmonth2022 #asoiaf #text #valyrianscrolls #'and he had ghost imagery' me: and he had ghost imagery 😮

[witch-hazels-musings]

Could you do some headcanons about Kaeya and Diluc with an s/o who really wants to dance with them (whether it be at a festival, party, at home, etc.) Also? I seriously respect the hell out of you for writing while working an 8-5 as someone who has to work a 9-5 and feels like i doesn’t even have time to shower at night. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ I hope you’re doing well! Please continue to grace us with your lovely presence!

I finished it!! Thank you for waiting for me! I hope you like it :D 

^ expanded the request a bit --- I also don’t know how Kaeya’s got to be so long - so an extra special gift from me to you 

warnings -> sfw, reader is pestered by some ppl, jealous characters :) 

Character X GN Reader | Anthology

Includes: Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Albedo

Kaeya

When Kaeya asked you to be his partner to one of the largest events in all of Mondstadt, you were beyond excited - this was an opportunity you had been waiting for - you’d always wanted to dance with him, and this was the perfect opportunity to do so 

You did your best to get ready, not knowing if this or that outfit would be better to wear, and the anxiety of having to meet him at the event hall was weighing on you 

“Y/N!” You turned your head for the thousandth time, so many voices had called out to you the moment you descended the stairs, their eyes as powerfully overwhelming as their voices. Luckily, this voice was someone you were relieved to see. Amber gripped onto your hands and pushed herself between you and the many bodies standing just a bit too close. “You look incredible! I’ve only ever seen you in your adventure clothes.” 

“Haha, I couldn’t come to a ball dressed like that, could I?” You glanced down at your attire, it had taken you a long time to decide what to wear and even though you settled on this, and were getting compliment after complement, you only cared about one person's opinion. Where was he? 

“Well, you look incredible!” She gripped your wrist and pulled you along, shouting at people who refused to get out of the way, her peppy voice breaking through all the many others calling for your attention. It was strange to be the center of attention. You’d seen so many of these faces around town and they didn’t seem to notice you then, so why all the affection now? It made you feel self-conscious. 

When you were finally away from the sea of eager eyes, you took a deep breath. The new, less crowded space letting in relief to ease your nerves. 

You looked at Amber and smiled at her, she always seemed to know how to bring you just what you needed, her kindness knew no bounds and you were we happy to have a friend like her. “Have you been here long?” You asked her.

“Pretty much, I’ve been helping plan this event for a while. I’m happy for it to be over honestly, who knew planning something like this was so exhausting.” 

“Ha, maybe that’s why Diluc always has a sour expression on his face. Too many events.” 

“You’re probably right! Ah, can you imagine stern Diluc planning a party? I’d die.” She laughed and the cheery vibrations seeped into your weary skin, your nerves made it easier for you to have an emotional reaction and with her disposition you found yourself laughing with her. 

“So,” you looked out over the dance floor, noticing the tables full of food and drink, people standing in small circles chatting and laughing away. “Who else made it tonight?” 

“Oh, are you looking for someone in particular?” She tilted her head and smiled at your flustered state. 

“N-no … what … shut-up.” You frowned and looked away from her. 

“I think you’ll see him soon, he had something to do but it won’t take him all night.” She must have noticed your disappointment because in an instant she made the decision to get you something to eat and stuck to your side until you had a more natural smile on your face. 

Any excuse to be close to you he is all for, it doesn’t matter what the occasion is, he will find a way to hold you, touch you - he just cannot get enough of you 

When he invited you to the Favonious ball, he knew you’d quickly take up his offer and join him, there wasn’t a question in his mind that you would deny it 

He had several things to prepare for and was frustrated that he couldn’t bring you to the event himself, but he knew you’d show up and once you did he’d have all night to spend with you - that was if he could make his way through the barrage of people who were flocking to you as soon as you stepped through the door 

He stepped through the hallway, his footsteps echoing off the walls as he made his way toward the ballroom. Lisa had given him a few ‘last minute’ wardrobe adjustments, and while she cooed over how handsome he looked, he hated how tight the suit was around his neck. He pushed his finger between the collar of his dress shirt and pulled at it. 

As he turned the corner, he could already hear the sounds of the party drifting up toward him. He hoped it wasn’t too late, his work had kept him longer than he wished and it was well past the time that you said you’d be there. He was frustrated and eager to see your face. 

The light from the ballroom washed over him as he stepped onto the balcony. There were still plenty of people enjoying themselves below but he only cared about one. His eyes scanned the crowd, heart filling with dread as he failed again and again at finding you among them. Then he saw you, your back leaning against one of the pillars, your arms crossed around your chest, eyes looking at the outrider who seemed to be holding you in a lively conversation. 

He smiled and quickly made his way down the steps, his hands slipping into his pockets as he did so. 

People were engaged in discussions, which normally he would be interested in as these were great opportunities to gather information, but his focus was on something much more important. 

“I’m going to ask them…” A voice caught his attention so he slowed his pace. 

“Don’t even bother, they haven’t danced with anyone the whole night. They’ve just been talking with that brunette for hours.” 

“I’m pretty persistent; I know how to win someone over.” Kaeya looked at them, his gaze lingering for a moment before catching you in the same place you had been. He watched as they made their way toward you and the stab in his chest pulled at the back of his mind. Quickly, he unbuttoned the collar of his shirt, the freedom of it spurring him on as he pushed his way toward you. 

-- 

“Hey, I couldn’t help but notice you haven’t danced with anyone here. I know, you’ve just been waiting for me to ask you all night.” The man smiled at you, but there was something unsettling about the way he did it. 

“No thank you, I’m not interested.” 

“Come on, it’ll be fun. You won’t regret it.” You were getting irritated at this point, not only had he interrupted your conversation with Amber, but he wasn’t the only person to ignore your first no. 

“Again, I’m not interested.” You turned away from him hoping that if you didn’t look he’d just walk away. 

He placed his hand against the pillar and leaned in closer to you and you were about to show him how strong your disinterest was when you heard a familiar voice.

“How rude of me to keep you waiting for so long, I came as soon as I could.” You looked behind the man and saw Kaeya standing there in formal attire, his beauty seemed to know no limits - frustrating. 

“Kaeya!” You stood, disregarding everything and flashing him the brightest smile you could. 

“Am I too late for a dance?” He held out his hand to you and without hesitation you took it. He led you to the dance floor leaving behind a confused, dejected suitor and excited Amber in your wake. 

He spun you around as soon as you reached the dance floor, a hand resting on your hip and the other holding your hand. “You look stunning, did you get dressed up all for my sake?” He looked down at you and his smile made your legs weak. 

“Maybe … don’t let it go to your head.” 

“Too late.” He laughed and you forgot how much you missed him. It didn’t matter how long you waited, for him, you would wait an eternity. 

“I heard a rumor about you.” 

“What rumor?” You looked up at him and caught the mischief in his eyes. 

“That you haven’t danced with a single person here, is that true?” 

“... It is … I only …” You looked down at his chest before continuing. “I only wanted to dance with you.” 

His hands squeezed around your hip and you felt him pull you closer, “How lucky am I. Sorry I made you wait.” 

“No! You don’t have to apologize.” Your head shoots up to meet him, your voice a bit louder than you planned, but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Well let’s give them all a show, shall we? I mean, I have to make sure they know they’ll never stand a chance.” The two of you spend the rest of the night together, the jealousy of all those who wished they were Kaeya apparent as they started to fade away the longer the two of you held one another. Kaeya couldn’t be happier, he was completely fine with them dropping all hope of being yours - that space was for him and him alone. 

Diluc

You were having a great time enjoying the festivities. Practically everyone had been invited to the winery to celebrate the coming of the new season, it was one of the most popular events that could happen 

The two of you had been catching each other here and there, but with how busy he was taking care of everything, and how popular you were becoming as a dance partner or at least an interested dance partner, the two of you continued to drift past the other

Diluc was getting more and more irritated as the evening went on. There were so many things distracting him from where he desperately wanted to be. Instead of being at your side, he was busy hosting conversation after conversation with potential business partners, dealing with the drunkards who couldn’t seem to keep a responsible handle on their booze, and drifting between staff to make sure they had what they needed. 

Reasons like these were why he typically avoided hosting events, but it was always fruitful and he needed to keep old connections and build new ones. Still, when he had a second and his eyes drifted through the crowd to find you, he felt the heat rise in his chest as he watched you dancing in the arms of someone other than him. He wasn’t mad at you of course, he was frustrated with himself that he allowed others to touch you, you were just too kind - a trait he loved, but one that also pulled at his heart. 

“They are incredible.” He heard someone share with their friend. Glancing up from his work he saw just who they were in discussion about. 

“I wonder if they are seeing anyone?”

“I haven’t heard anything …Hey, If you don’t go for it, I will!” They laughed and while he couldn’t tell if their intentions held any weight, he hated that the idea was even present in their minds. Again, it was on him that people didn’t know you were seeing one another. The two of you looked like good friends with the way you respected his boundaries, and his reservation at being expressive with his affections for you. He clenched his jaw before walking away. 

--- 

Your legs were starting to ache from the amount of activity you were requesting of them. So many people had asked you to dance, and you didn’t want to be rude, as a guest of Diluc’s you wanted to make sure to be as kind and thoughtful as you could. However, with the amount of energy you were expending on everyone else you were starting to feel the effects of it all. So when several more, slightly persistent, patrons came to ask you to dance, you found yourself leaning to decline. 

“Excuse me,” they began, “If you would be so kind, I’d love to have the next dance with you.” You looked up at them and saw their nervous smile. It hurt to reject them, but you desperately wanted a break. 

“Thank you, but I’m going to have to respectfully decline.” You nodded your head and noticed there were other eager dance partners standing behind them. “I need to rest a bit, everyone has been so lively, and I’m running out of stamina.” You laugh in an attempt to make your rejection more lighthearted. 

“If you don’t want to dance, we can do something else!” They sat down next to you, their arms perched on the table, body leaning in way to close. They began to ask you questions, which was fine until they started to get more and more personal. You did your best to answer them, but when they asked the next question it was a challenge to get them to accept your response. 

“Everyone is dying to know,” another asked, you turned your head to them and waited, “are you seeing anyone?” 

You averted your gaze before responding, “Yes. I am.” 

“What!?” | “There is no way?” Their voices hit you at once and the loudness of their shouting drew eyes from other party-goers. They badgered you for a bit, all asking different questions at the same time, making it hard to hear them all. One stuck out and when they spoke the group got quiet. 

“I’ve never seen you with anyone.” You looked at them, their arms crossed and lips turned into a frown. “You’re pulling our legs.” 

“No, I really am seeing someone.” 

“I don’t believe it, you're just using that as an excuse.” Their words made you angry. You didn’t own them anything and you were being plenty kind, and, that kindness, was starting to grow thin. “Tell us who it is and then we will believe you.” They placed their hand on the table and looked directly into your eyes. You were about to answer them when you were interrupted by the person himself. 

“Y/N.” He spoke and the voices around the table died down, you looked at him and felt unbelievable relief. 

“Diluc.” You stood and walked toward him, his hand open for you, a gesture you were surprised by. Carefully, you placed your hand in his and scratched the side of your head. 

He looked at you, his eyes heavy on your skin. “Sorry I’ve been so busy.” 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind waiting.” His thumb rubbed the back of your hand, there was no way people couldn’t notice how much that affected you. 

“Hey! What’s going on … are the two of you …?” The person stood up and placed their hands on their hips. Their shouting drew the eyes of others again and everyone at the table stilled as they waited for a response. 

“Yes, and I ask that you don’t cause them any trouble; I won’t tolerate it.” His tone had a hint of a threat and it made your chest tight. There was a shockwave of disbelief that ran through the crowd, and the whispering made your ears burn. Diluc looked at you and you looked back, “Shall we?” 

“Mhm.” 

You followed after him, his broad shoulders a sight you never got tired of seeing and when the two of you held each other in movement to the music, you knew there would be no secret to your relationship now. Diluc made that clear from his words to his actions, and as the music began to fade and the sun dipped below the cliffs, he bravely showed his feelings for you as his lips touched your cheek. 

Childe 

He’d be all about showing you off to others - he wants to make it clear that you and he are an item no matter where you were

You went with him back to his home-town. It was a long trip, but so worth it to be with him, to see where he grew up. It took a while to get used to the chilly weather, and in fact you had to layer up extra carefully in order to bear the cold

His family had prepared for him a welcome party and had practically invited everyone they could to celebrate his return. Even if they knew it was only temporary, as his membership with the Fatui often kept him on the move, still, it was nice to feel so loved and welcomed with such a joyous event. 

They also knew he would be bringing someone special back with him. It was a demand which plastered every letter he received from his siblings. He knew if he didn’t bring you along there would be a reception colder than the snow that never melted. 

Of course, the two of you arrived hours before the start of the celebration. This gave his siblings and other family plenty of time to introduce themselves to you. They asked you question after question and when it was finally time to get ready for the party, you noticed how rough your voice had become. You definitely knew that Childe was a member of this family, he too knew how to wear out your voice. 

Childe changed clothes quickly, it had been so long since he wore those clothes from this region. As he looked in the mirror, the way the outfit rested snuggly against him, it made him even more nostalgic than he already was. He was waiting out in the large living room, his mind playing out memories of his childhood in this house when a sound caught his attention. 

His younger siblings giggled and shouted in excitement and as he turned to see what was all the fuss he felt the air in his lungs leave him. You were dressed in a traditional style outfit, your hair styled to fit your attire, hands fussing with the clothes you weren’t used to wearing. When you looked up at him and smiled shyly he felt an incredible urge to lock you behind closed doors and not let anyone lay their eyes on you. 

You walked toward him, ignoring the loudness of his siblings, “They said this would be okay … Do I … look alright?” 

“You look incredible.” 

“Thank you.” You drop your head, looking at your hands and he desperately wants to pull your face back to him, but is interrupted before he gets the chance. 

“Let’s go already, big brother!” Teucer shouts, already standing at the door. 

“Shall we?” Childe extends his elbow to you and you take it. 

---

He had been watching you dance with the members of his family for a while, and while it moved his heart to see you laughing and doing your best to learn the moves, he wanted to hold you in his arms himself. He wanted you, to have you experience his traditions first hand through him. So, when he couldn’t handle it any longer, he finally asked you to dance. 

“You all have been keeping them so busy … I’m going to steal them back now.” He exclaimed, barging into the game you had been playing with his younger siblings. 

“That’s not fair! You’ve been able to keep them to yourself for so long. We want to play more.” 

“You can after I’ve had my fun, let’s go.” He pulled you away and their cries sounded as you drifted further from them. 

“I was winning!” You exclaimed, laughing as he pulled you behind him.

“It’s my turn to have your attention.” He turned and pulled you close to him. You could feel his energy through his fingertips, it was familiar, like the time he saw you talking to that stranger in one of the bars of Liyue. 

“Childe, you can’t seriously be jealous of your family.” 

“You don’t know me at all, do you.” He spun you around and when you realized you were out on the dance floor you knew you were in trouble. 

“I’m not very good at this yet.” You try to explain to him but it falls on deaf ears. 

“I’ll teach you, just follow my lead.” He nodded to the musicians and they began to warm up, their music drowning out the chatter. Quickly, he leaned down and kissed your forehead before offering some last minute encouragement, “Let me show them all how spectacular you are.” 

He loved every second of this. The way your feet stumbled over his as he moved with you across the dance floor, the way your face flashed through different expressions: joy, concern, embarrassment, confidence. He couldn’t get enough of you, there was never enough of you. How was he ever going to be satiated with you around, especially when you were embracing his home, his family with such unbound acceptance. 

He wanted to swallow you up, he wanted to lock you to him for the rest of time, and the more you let him take, the stronger his desire became. 

As the music drifted into its final crescendo he lifted you in his arms and spun you around. There were countless couples surrounding you, all shouting and cheering on the excitement that rippled from the center of the dance floor. When he stopped and you slid a bit down his chest, your shoulders at the height of his chin, hands gripping tightly on his shoulders and face dipping down to him with a smile that told him everything he ever needed to know about you, he let the words fall from his mouth, finally being as honest as he ever had been. 

“I love you.” 

Albedo

Albedo wasn’t too fond of parties and get-togethers, it was a lot of energy to expend on the discussions or interactions which he’d much prefer to stay clear of, at least if he can get away with it. Still, he had promised to make an appearance, and when he saw you he was much more inclined to stay

He loved to watch you have a great time, you were so independent, doing things whenever you felt like it and experiencing life as it happened. Unless it was explicitly told to others, most wouldn’t have any idea that the two of you were seeing each other. Most of the time that wasn’t a problem, as your busy schedules kept you distracted, but as he watched you mingle with the citizens and partake in the festivities, and how you drew the attention of interested eyes, he was starting to get jealous

These sorts of festivals drew in travelers from all over Teyvat. Most of them only blew in with the wind while others stayed longer after the final banner was removed. It was something that almost everyone in Mondstadt took part in, even those who often didn’t get out much -- and he was one of them. 

Albedo made his way through the streets greeting citizens as he passed by, a quick nod or hello here and there. It was Sucrose who had encouraged him to take a break, reminding him that he was likely to see you down in the festivities. So, he put away his work for the day and headed out of the research labs toward the cheering below. 

When he saw it was like the sun shined on his face for the first time in days. He felt so warm and was eager to reach you. As he got closer, he couldn’t help but notice the many faces that were turned to you. It was strange but he tried not to let that oddity hender him in any way. That’s when he started to hear the conversation you were having with someone, the closeness of them to you, and the way they didn’t seem to leave you alone.

It wasn’t like him, either, to let his emotions get the better of him, but having to listen and watch others take notice of you, something inside of him grew and he wanted to make sure they knew their hands would never reach yours.

--

“Hey.” A man walked up to you and injected himself in the conversation you were having. You stopped what you were doing and glanced at him, curious. “Would you be interested in dancing with me?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not much of a dancer.” You smiled at him and tried to let him down easy. In fact you’d love to dance, but only if it was with a particular person, and he didn’t seem to be around at the moment.

“It’s okay if you aren’t, I’m happy to teach you some moves.” He took a step closer and his first impression of friendliness was slipping into pushiness. 

You started to tap your fingers against your leg, the motion becoming more intense the closer he got. “Really, I’m not a good dancer, you’ll find more luck with someone else.” 

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” He reached for your hand but was blocked by another. When you looked at the owner and saw it was Albedo, your stomach flipped. 

“Albedo?” You turned to him, a smile on your face and relief in your voice. 

“Excuse me, but I believe they said they weren’t interested?” 

“... ha, what are you their boyfriend?” They laughed and continued talking, “Listen, why don’t you let …” 

“Yes, I am.” Albedo interjected, cutting the person off. 

“What?” 

“We are together.” They looked confused, their eyes moving back between yours and Albedo’s. Albedo looked down at you and noticed the expression on your face, “Is that not the right way to describe our relationship?”

“No! I mean, yes, that’s right.” You looked at the person and gestured to Albedo, “This is my boyfriend, I’m his … we’re together, yes.” You nodded your head way too many times, but the point seemed to get across to them anyway. They left in a huff and you watched them leave before standing and turning to Albedo. 

It was the first time the two of you had ever really said those words out loud - of course you knew in your minds that you were a couple … but to say the term which let the outside world know of your relationship, well it was so exciting 

You felt your face get hot as you remembered how factually he had spoken, how quickly he answered their question. You couldn’t help but pat your face and pinch your cheeks 

After that, the two of you wandered through the festival, eating delicious food, participating in the activities, laughing and having interesting discussions, as you always did 

When night started to drift over the event and only a few people remind in the city center, you found yourself back in the place where your time together started, music drifting through the air 

You had such an incredible day. There were times the two of you were so busy that you would go days without seeing one another, so to spend an entire afternoon together was like a gift. 

“Today was incredible.” You express, the excitement and joy from the day making you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. 

“I can tell you had a good day.” Albedo replies, smiling at you. 

“Oh, really?” 

“Yeah, you click your tongue like that when you’re happy … sometimes when you’re focused.” 

“Ah, really! I’ve never noticed.” 

“I think it’s cute.” He stepped closer and grabbed your hand, his grip soft and gentle. “So I know you don’t like to … I was wondering … would you like to dance with me?” 

“Yes!” You answered much quicker than he expected, your voice startling him a little. You covered your mouth and laughed, your eyes squinting. 

“Let’s go.” You took his hand and walked until the space felt right. Albedo let go of you before turning to look at you. With an elegant bow he requested your hand once again, you returned the gesture, not wanting to be rude and also trying your best to not scream with excitement. The music swelled and your bodies moved closer, his hands wrapping around your back while yours draped over his shoulders. You rested your head against his chest and let the wonderful day drift into a wonderful night, you and Albedo sharing in a moment with one another. No worries, no interruptions, just one another swaying to the sweet mixture of music and distant conversations. 

“I’m glad you could make it today.” 

“Me too.”

#genshin impact #genshin impact X reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact musings #genshin impact fiction #genshin imagines #kaeya #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich #genshin kaeya #genshin impact kaeya #diluc #diluc X reader #genshin diluc #diluc ragnvindr #genshin impact diluc #childe X reader #childe #genshin childe #albedo x reader #albedo #genshin albedo #genshin impact albedo #genshin impat childe

[mimi-cee-hq]

Wildfires - Atsumu x f!reader

Summary: You're burned from last year's rumours, now fearing any hint of smoke. Yet you can't help, but fall for the childhood friend who's a balm to your wounds.

Genres, tropes, etc: angst with a satisfying and happy ending, angst to fluff, hurt/ comfort, exs to lovers (but not the usual kind), secret dating, drama and romance, but it's still somehow cute because that's just how I write lol

Warnings: false rumours about cheating and an illicit relationship, so it still technically mentions those things.

Words: 1.9k

Author's Notes: Hi Lia (@chimielie)! I'm your ☀️ anon. 🥰 You suggested exs to lovers and hurt/comfort for this prompt and it still technically is those things, but it's probably not what you expected.

If anyone is new to my blog and doesn't want to read angst, here's a cute fluff Atsumu x reader instead. :)

This fic is for the Heatwave Fic Exchange (@heatwave2021). Thank you for hosting this!

~*~*~

"I hadn't realized you two were still together."

Not even the overworked fan's whirring can drown out the strained silence that follows.

"We're not."

The air is dry and sweat forms on your brow. With the sun beating down, it's the perfect combination for a wildfire.

Atsumu's chin sits on his fist as he avoids your gaze. Lowering your eyes, you stare at the wooden table.

"Did he still care?" you ask yourself.

~*~*~

Plaid skirts sway as two students peek into their new classroom, attempting to be discreet. You hear their whispers from a distance, waiting in front of your own classroom.

"Look! We get Kinjou-sensei this year!" one exclaims.

"Are you serious?" the other asks after letting out a gasp. "I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I might end up staring at his face all day."

"Maybe it'll help you pay attention," her friend snickers.

You clench your jaw as heat rises in your body. They're able to indulge in frivolous remarks, ignorant of how you're left scarred from one fleeting gesture, a tiny piece of kindling that ignited into uncontrollable flames.

Cool hands cover your ears from behind you. Your jaw relaxes and the tension dissipates from your shoulders. You turn around to see Atsumu wearing a scowl on his lips. Sighing as you cross your arms, you ask, "Atsumu, what are you doing?"

"Well if only there was a way to make 'em shut up," he replies with a sharp tone.

You lean away from him and swat his hands back. "You're too close," you tell him.

"Alright!" he says, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'll go!"

As he walks away, he crosses his thumb and index finger behind his back, forming a little heart. You smirk at his hidden gesture to you.

"I love you too, Atsumu," you silently tell him as a smile graces your lips. However, it vanishes like the mist in the sun when yet another person calls after him, someone he doesn't know.

You skirt around the other students, avoiding their path, and rush to your desk. There are too many dry leaves around; a single spark can burst everything into flames.

Why does everyone have to know Atsumu?

~*~*~

"I wish you could've been my partner for the project," you say.

Atsumu pours a glass of water and places it on the table in front of you. "You ended up with that new girl, right?" he mentions and you reply with a nod. "She should be safe to work with."

You're startled once again when you hear the chimes from the front door. A rattan room divider obstructs your view of it, but you hunch down anyway as you finally pick up your spoon.

Atsumu sits across from you, sharing something about his team. His eyes dim when he realizes you haven't been listening.

"This isn't working," he tells you. "I thought this restaurant would be better because people can't see us from here." He runs his fingers in his hair, a sign he's frustrated.

"I– I forgot people can still hear us," you say in a low voice.

Atsumu sighs. "Let's just watch a movie at my house," he says. "Osamu already knows anyway."

"You know we can't," you protest. "Not when Hana and Haku drop by so often. They're going to realize we're together."

"But how are we supposed to have any fun when you're so scared?"

"I–" You lower your gaze, eyes unfocused towards your untouched bowl of rice. "Sorry, Atsumu."

"It's not your fault," he reminds you yet again. This exchange has become all too familiar. "Maybe we should finally tell Hana and Haku what happened to you."

"And have them find out the guy in the rumours is their beloved brother?" You cross your arms over your chest and rub your hand on your sleeve. "I still want to be comfortable around them, Atsumu. Ignorance is bliss right?"

His mouth twists before a groan escapes from it. He slouches in his seat and stares at the food in front of you, which remains the way the waitress left it.

"Let's take the train to Tokyo next time," he mutters. "Nobody'll know us there."

Your eyes grow before looking up at Atsumu. "What?" you slowly enunciate just above a whisper. "Don't you know how expensive that is?"

He presses his lips together before sharing his next suggestion. "I know where 'Samu's secret stash of money is…"

You narrow your eyes at him. "No, we're not stealing from him to go on a date, Atsumu."

"Alright," he says, lowering his eyes and dropping his shoulders.

Seeing his expression, you offer another idea. "How about Osaka?" It's only one city away.

Atsumu's eyes light up, excited at the chance of finally getting to enjoy some time with you. Although your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes, you hope leaving the vicinity of last year's wildfires would be enough, for Atsumu's sake and yours.

~*~*~

Your heart beats faster and your throat becomes dry. You weren't getting enough air.

"You're okay," you tell yourself. "She's not talking about you."

"Seriously! That happened at my old school," your project partner snickers as she recounts her story to you. "They even got the kiss on camera too! I felt so bad for her, but it's her own fault for cheating on him."

You begin to feel dizzy, catching a whiff of smoke from another victim's fire. Her words add fuel to a fire that cannot be stopped. Wildfires burn and burn, and are never satisfied until they run out of kindling.

"Oh! I've been meaning to ask. Are you dating Atsumu? The two of you seem really close!"

Your throat struggles to take control, attempting to keep your stomach down; it doesn't want to burn either.

They'll say you're cheating on Kinjou-sensei.

The tongue is a powerful weapon, causing destruction by those who are both untrained and ignorant as well as the truly malicious.

Your knees buckle as you pant for air, your grip weak on the knob. You need to get out.

Atsumu's figure is before you and you relax as he catches you. You never would have imagined that this guy would be your fleeting oasis.

~*~*~

"Let's break up," you tell Atsumu.

You both knew this was coming, yet a bucket of icy water chilled to the bone regardless of whether or not it was expected. Speaking those words aloud shocked you back into reality.

You hesitated dating each other in the first place, but you couldn't help but caress his strong hands when he admitted his feelings for you. Growing up together in your group of five, he was by your side from snotty noses to acne breakouts.

You didn't expect to fall for the hot-head of your bunch when rumours of you dating Kinjou-sensei spread. Atsumu attempted to extinguish every flame he spotted, witnessing your anguish each time you got burned.

"Maybe we can still do this," you say, contradicting your previous words.

"And what? Have ya pass out again every time someone asks about us?" Atsumu protests. He lowers his eyes as he clutches your hand. "Do ya know how worried I was about ya?"

Your heart flutters for a moment before you remind yourself that you can't keep him, the boy who has been by your side for so long.

"Aghhhhh! This is so stupid!!! Why are we suffering because of this made up crap?! 'Kinjou-sensei' had put a bandaid on me a thousand times more than he did t' ya! But nobody gives a crap about that!"

"I'm sorry Atsumu."

"Why the heck are ya sorry?!" he says, raising his voice.

"I– If I was just strong enough... If I could withstand their stupid words"–your lip trembles–"maybe I wouldn't have to choose between you and having some peace."

There's another silence between the two of you. Your fingers are loosely intertwined together, barely holding the fragile string between the two of you, as if it were a wick that would combust and disappear in a split second.

"Maybe we should just run away," Atsumu mumbles aloud.

"What?"

"Ya know, transfer schools. Or even drop out if we need ta."

"Atsumu! You can't! We can't! You have volleyball! And I... this is the only school that gave me a scholarship."

"Agh! Why is this so frustrating?!"

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, ya idiot! Ya did nothing wrong!" He presses and rubs his forehead with the heel of his palm. "I just… I wish I could do more for ya." His arm drops at his side. "I wish I didn't feel so useless."

Your tears drip down your face. Could they be counted any more? If only you didn't fear getting caught dating Atsumu, terrified that last year's fires would morph into a raging beast. But another wildfire would not only destroy you but also the man you loved. If only your sores healed by now, you could have shown off your boyfriend, disregarding any of the flames.

If only you were fireproof.

But you weren't and now you're forced to loosen your grip on Atsumu, the balm to your wounds, and let him fall out of your hands.

~*~*~

"I hadn't realized you two were still together."

Not even the overworked fan's whirring can drown out the strained silence that follows.

"We're not."

It was three years since you talked to Atsumu, four since rumours first raged through the school. The two of you went through cycles of getting back together and breaking up again every time you learned that fear was still crippling you. Cutting off contact was the less painful option.

Years later, you're at a friend's cottage and Atsumu comes along without knowing you're here as well. Now that high school has come and gone, the smoke has dissipated and the fires have finished their course. You can finally breathe.

But does Atsumu still want you?

To anyone else, Atsumu is bored out of his mind, resting his chin on his fist. Nobody sees his thumb and finger forming a tiny heart.

Your heart flutters and you blink back tears. You attempt to hold back your growing grin, but you have no reason to hide it anymore.

You wrap your arms around him, almost causing him to topple off of his chair, Atsumu letting out a yelp. "What the heck are ya doing?"

You can finally release your feelings for him, openly and freely. The dam opens and waters rush to engulf him before you settle into his embrace.

"I love you too Atsumu," you tell him without a care in the world.

Osamu tells you he changed when you cut off contact. He desired to be a man, not wanting to feel so powerless, and poured himself into things he could do. It paid off.

"Did ya want to go somewhere together? I could even take ya all the way t' Rome if ya want."

The two of you hold each others' hands as the ocean's edge cools your feet. You lean against his shoulder, cherishing the moment that at one point seemed like an inaccessible dream.

You give him a peck on the cheek and smile. "Tokyo seems like a nice place for a date for now."

~*~*~

I hope you enjoyed this fic. :) (And I hope you liked it Lia!!) I guess I can be poetic if I try. lol. I had a whole commentary written out for this fic, but I decided against posting it here and making my author's notes as long as the fic itself. 😂

If you enjoyed this fic, I don't really have any similar pieces of writing at the moment. The only one that's similar is the hurt/comfort Kunimi WIP I've put off writing for so long because I didn't think I could pull off this type of fic. (And also because I think only one person will read it.) The theme in that one is pity/pride because pitiful is Kunimi's most hated word.

Anyway, if you want to see my usual style of writing, I have a cute tooth-rotting fluff Atsumu x reader one-shot. I currently also have an ongoing fake dating chaptered Suna fic, which is probably my best planned fic with the hints and foreshadowing and a nice mix of humour, fluff and shoujo-type angst. :)

I also have a Google form for my taglist if anyone is interested.

#miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu angst #atsumu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #miya atsumu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #atsumu fanfic #miya atsumu fanfiction #haikyuu fanfiction #hihqnetwork #animehorizons #angelwalker’s virtues #atsumu scenarios

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 22 - ao3 -

Lan Qiren woke in a bed, which was not a surprise. His favorite blanket – the one Wen Ruohan had bought for him – was tucked in around him, and this was also not a surprise.

He was in the Nightless City, which was.

“How…?”

“Your brother gave permission,” Wen Ruohan said, and Lan Qiren twisted his head in surprise, not having seen him sitting there at the desk beside the bed. Wen Ruohan was writing something, his brush movement steady and unhurried; it was a distinct contrast to the seething rage lingering in his voice. “Since I know you care about that.”

“Of course I care,” Lan Qiren said blankly. “He really gave permission?”

Wen Ruohan’s brush paused. “Are you suggesting that I’m lying?”

Lan Qiren considered it for a moment, then said, a little helplessly, “It seems more likely than him agreeing to cut my punishment short.”

Wen Ruohan snorted, and put his brush down. “I insisted,” he said, and the smug curl of his smile suggested it had been more than a casual conversation. “Anyway, he didn’t want a fuss.”

Naturally not, as He Kexin might object, Lan Qiren thought to himself, and shook his head at his own bitterness. He realized a moment later that it didn’t hurt to do that.

“How long did I sleep?” he asked, alarmed. The transit to the Nightless City was long, unless someone decided to waste vast amounts of qi flying by sword – which he could see Wen Ruohan doing – but the staves used for the Lan sect’s more severe discipline were not like those used for more mundane offenses. While they weren’t on par with a discipline whip, they were still made of spiritual wood, infused with qi; the injuries they left would not heal so quickly.

“I applied medicine,” Wen Ruohan said, rising to his feet and coming over to sit by Lan Qiren’s side on the bed, helping him sit up. “You’re not healed, only numb…I understand you’ve been having difficulties in your sect for some time, and that was even before the lady attacked you in an effort to frame you for her own rape.”

“I’m fairly sure she just wanted to show my brother that she wasn’t interested in him,” Lan Qiren said, wincing. He would not have phrased it quite like that, although thinking it over, it did seem to be a fair way to describe it, if an uncomplimentary one. “It’s not a stretch to think that picking his less impressive brother over him would do it.”   

Wen Ruohan’s lips curled into a sneer. “Truly, an ingenious mind. Did she think herself so attractive that no man would ever deny her?”

That, or else she’d been truly desperate. Lan Qiren could sympathize with her to that extent. After all, do not take advantage of your position to oppress others was a rule for a reason, and the power and influence a Great Sect could bring to bear against a rogue cultivator was not nothing. But his sympathy ended at the point where she’d decided it was acceptable to harm him in order to achieve her goal – even looking at her actions in the best possible light and assuming that she sincerely thought he would participate willingly in her plan, she’d made all sorts of assumptions and hadn’t bothered to verify anything before acting on them. 

He Kexin might be free and unrestrained, as his brother had described her, but she was also perilously reckless, and selfish, too.

Still, at the same time Lan Qiren thought about Wen Ruohan’s smirk when he mentioned his ‘insistence’ with his brother – he wasn’t sure if it involved physical violence or not, although the mental image of such a confrontation was oddly satisfying – and grimaced at the thought of the same sort of pressure being brought to bear on someone without a Great Sect’s protection. “About - He Kexin…”

“You needn’t concern yourself for the lady’s sake,” Wen Ruohan said, and his tone was a little unpleasant. “Even after all that, she permitted herself to be convinced by one of her friends that the advantages of receiving Qingheng-jun’s affections outweighed the disadvantages, despite her own better instincts; that seems punishment enough for the moment. Someone who does not hesitate to blind themselves at the say-so of another will reap the reward they deserve in the end…”

He shook his head, and smiled once more, displaying a glint of teeth. 

“You may take comfort that I took no action against her. However, I did suggest that the lady in question consider avoiding Qishan on her future travels.”

Lan Qiren felt something warm pricking his heart. “The thought is appreciated, although unnecessary. The one whose conduct is in the wrong is my brother.”

He’d appreciate an apology from He Kexin, whether for misjudging him or ignoring his refusals, but he wouldn’t hold out hope for it.

“I can be angry at more than one person at once,” Wen Ruohan said. A strange expression flitted over his features. “I admit, I would have thought Lao Nie would have done something about the entire situation sooner. Even if you weren’t writing to me, why didn’t you write to him?”

“I did,” Lan Qiren said. “His initial reply was – unsatisfactory.”

Lao Nie had responded rather casually to Lan Qiren’s message laying out the situation with his brother and He Kexin, speaking light-heartedly of the burning ardor of first love; he had assured Lan Qiren that it was normal to feel troubled by the thought of being left behind, even when the relationship was not good, and that his brother would probably resurface from his infatuation a happier person in the end. It was fairly evident that he hadn’t read all of Lan Qiren’s carefully composed letter.

“I asked him to come by the Lan sect,” he added. “But he was otherwise occupied.”

Wen Ruohan pressed his lips together in irritation. “He’s been otherwise occupied for some time now. You’re not the only one whose letters he’s disregarded.”

“Even you?” Lan Qiren said wonderingly. “But he likes you so much.”

The tightness in Wen Ruohan’s face eased a little. “I’ve asked him to visit here on account of your health,” he said. “I expect to see him arrive in his usual ridiculous flurry of temper and hen-like concern soon enough – once he reads the letter, anyway.”

Lan Qiren nodded, then hesitated. “The last time I was here…”

Wen Ruohan gazed at him sidelong.

Lan Qiren bit his lip. “I understand that I overstepped –”

“Don’t apologize.”

Lan Qiren stopped.

Wen Ruohan looked irritated again. “Don’t apologize,” he said again. “Are you not my little brother? If you cannot scold me, who is there that lives who can? I am not Qingheng-jun.”

Lan Qiren wasn’t entirely sure how the two were connected.

“If you want to make it up to me, go back to the way you addressed me before,” Wen Ruohan added.

Lan Qiren frowned, confused. “How do you mean?”

“Call me da-ge. Not xiongzhang.”

“…the latter is more polite.”

“So is listening to your elders,” Wen Ruohan said haughtily. “As you’re so fond of saying, it’s what I asked.”

“All right, da-ge,” Lan Qiren said obediently, and Wen Ruohan looked pleased.

“Rest,” he ordered, rising to his feet. “There will be dinner soon, and perhaps we can play weiqi once again…is there anything else you need for your room?”

Lan Qiren’s room in the Nightless City was very similar to the room Wen Ruohan had prepared for him in the Cloud Recesses; he couldn’t think of anything else he might need. Except only…

“I don’t suppose you could ask your spies to check in on my rooms back home,” Lan Qiren said, even as he settled back down to rest as instructed. “There was a painting there that you gifted to me that I liked a lot. It fell during the fight, and I haven’t been back since. I don’t want it thrown away.”

“Which one? I got you several…the mountain pass? The flowering tree?”

“No, the landscape with the rolling hills,” Lan Qiren said, and Wen Ruohan, who had been about to leave, stopped abruptly by the door. “It’s a little burned at the edges; you can’t really mistake it for anything else.”

“You liked that one?” Wen Ruohan’s voice was strange, full of some emotion that Lan Qiren was too tired to even try to decipher. “Above the others? The quality is much less, and the skill with the brush inferior.”

“The person who painted it was happy,” Lan Qiren explained. “There’s an echo of the painter’s residual qi trapped in the ink, you can tell a little bit about who they were from that. Whoever it was, they were brash and bold, arrogant and carefree – full of potential, like a phoenix about to alight to a higher branch. Their soul was like a falcon’s, tied down by nothing. Looking at it is an inspiration, and a comfort. I use it sometimes as a focus for meditation.”

“…I’ll have my spies check,” Wen Ruohan said, and he must be truly perturbed by Lan Qiren’s punishment-induced injuries if he had actually just admitted to having spies in the Cloud Recesses. “In the meantime, I have several other works by the same…artist. If you’d like.”

“Oh, very much!” Lan Qiren said enthusiastically; he tried to struggle up to sit again, but he started to feel pain even through the numbness of the anesthetic he’d been dosed with. Wen Ruohan glared him back down, and he yielded meekly, knowing that he was in no state to be really protesting. “Thank you, da-ge. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”

Wen Ruohan huffed and put a hand behind his back, sweeping out the door like a gust of wind.

Lan Qiren lay back down, staring up at the ceiling.

Are you really going to do this? he wondered. Will you really forgive him for what he has done, for what he is, just because you desperately need support? What happened to your principles? Your rules?

He exhaled hard, almost a sigh. He still wasn’t all right with the torture, still thought it was wrong for a man to exult in the pain of others in such a grotesque fashion, but he’d gone back to his standby, the rules, and he was reminded brutally that they were designed to function as guides for the self, not for the world. You were supposed to embrace the entirety of the world, to shoulder the burden of morality, to refuse to tolerate evil – and yet the rules of hospitality, of host and guest, of neighbors, were ranked just as high.

He could choose to continue to hold back, to express his disdain of Wen Ruohan’s ways with distance and reserve, but it wouldn’t stop Wen Ruohan from doing what he wanted anyway, and it would leave Lan Qiren even more isolated and friendless than he was already.

It would be better to compromise.

And yet – it was hard, perilously hard, to force himself to do so. It was one of his flaws, he knew: how uncompromising he was, how unyielding, how bitterly he held onto his opinions, refusing to change, especially when he thought he was right.

For his own sake, he needed to try to do so. But he also needed to at least try to salvage his conscience, too.

He’d have to find a way to do both.

So decided, Lan Qiren reserved the issue of how he would do that in the back of his mind, returning to sleep. It would be easier, he thought, to resolve the issue in the morning, once he’d healed up a little more.

It wasn’t, but that was mostly because he was horrified to discover that he had no proper clothing.

“You have clothing that fits,” Wen Ruohan replied, the mildness of his voice failing to conceal the glint of amusement in his eyes. “It’s even in your clan’s colors. What’s the problem?”

“It’s too much,” Lan Qiren insisted, shaking the clothing at him. He had at least been left his inner robes, though he felt naked without the extra layer. “My formal clothing is less excessive than this!”

“That is surely a matter for your sect, isn’t it? I don’t think it’s excessive.”

“You have no sense of proportion!”

Wen Ruohan shrugged. “I can send for something else,” he said. “Even from your home, if you like. By regular post, it should only take a week or so to arrive.”

Lan Qiren scowled.

“If you really prefer, you’re welcome to walk around naked until then –”

Lan Qiren was so aggravated that he actually hissed at him, surprising Wen Ruohan into a laugh that interrupted his words, and returned to his room to begrudgingly put on the robes. They were white and silver, his usual preference – not interwoven with blue, but that wasn’t a surprise, given that white was a secondary color for the Wen sect as well as the Lan – but they were also ridiculously overwrought: embroidered brocade, silks so fine that they had to be layered in order to not be translucent, studded with shining pearls and what might be actual silver…

“Absurd,” he grumbled, but put on the clothing and came back out. “Do you enjoy tormenting me? Is that it?”

“At times,” Wen Ruohan said, his eyes curved and merry. “Come, sit. It’s your move.”

Lan Qiren permitted himself to succumb to his sworn brother’s atrocious taste for the evening, then stole away to the laundry room the first chance he could, determined to beg for a set of clothing that was somewhat more normal – even mourning clothing would be acceptable, as long as it was neither Wen sect nor horribly garish.

Wen Ruohan found him there, arguing spiritedly with the tailor, and whisked him back to his rooms on account of Lan Qiren’s injuries, arguing, correctly, that Lan Qiren was on the verge of collapsing and coughing up blood from having been a bit too enthusiastic.

Eventually, after some of what Lan Qiren called reasoned debate and what Wen Ruohan called flagrant sulking, Wen Ruohan agreed to get him something a little more normal to wear on the condition that he wear at least one adornment of Wen Ruohan’s choosing along with it.

“You secretly wanted to play with dolls as a child,” Lan Qiren said accusingly, even though the initial adornment – a belt loop made from moonstone and jade – was entirely appropriate, even by Lan sect standards. “You were denied the chance then, and now you make it everyone else’s problem. Is that it?”

“Perhaps,” Wen Ruohan said. “It’s been so long, how would I remember?”

Lan Qiren rolled his eyes and gamely lost to him at weiqi a few more times.

It was perilously easy to slip back into the comfortable camaraderie that they’d developed on his last visit, he reflected as he prepared for bed that evening. It was something he enjoyed - something they both enjoyed - and if Lan Qiren only kept his opinions to himself, convinced himself to actually bend for once, he might be able to actually keep it, this time. 

The next morning, he went to the extensive library kept by the Wen sect and took down several books on anatomy, carefully copying out the goriest parts of it in his best calligraphy; he wasn’t an inspired painter like the nameless ancient that had done the pictures that now hung in his room here, but he excelled at dry and lifeless copies, which was about what you wanted from an anatomy text.

He finished the small booklet within a few days, and gave it to Wen Ruohan one evening before dinner.

“What’s this?” Wen Ruohan asked, flipping through it with a slightly bemused expression. “Medicine?”

“Anatomy,” Lan Qiren corrected. “Since you – like that sort of thing. It’s a gift.”

Wen Ruohan blinked very deliberately. “Little Lan,” he said, staring down at one of the more explicit illustrations. “Did you get me a gift to help me torture people better?”

“I got you a gift because you’re my sworn brother, and you’re taking care of me,” Lan Qiren said with as much dignity as he could muster in light of the patheticness of his abject surrender. “I got you this gift because it seemed relevant to your interests. Anyway, it’s not something I can share, or even really countenance – and in all honesty I would prefer that you not do it while I’m around, or at minimum try not to mention it to me, to make it easier to look the other way – I mean, it’s not going to be easy, but easier – well, my scruples aren’t important. It’s something that matters to you, so I’ll just –”

Wen Ruohan cleared his throat, interrupting him. “You don’t need to worry about that,” he said, looking at the space above Lan Qiren’s head for some reason. “The Fire Palace has had trouble keeping my interest recently; the entertainment has gone stale. I have moved on.”

Lan Qiren had not expected that, and he smiled happily, his pricked conscience unexpectedly granted a reprieve. For some reason, it made Wen Ruohan stare at him.

“Well, I’m happy to hear that you’re not torturing people for sport any longer,” Lan Qiren told him, in case it wasn’t clear. “As for the booklet, even if it’s not quite right for your interests right now, I still hope you enjoy the work...I’ll get you a better gift next time.”

“No need to strain yourself,” Wen Ruohan said. “I will be pleased no matter what it is, I’m sure.”

He gestured for Lan Qiren to enter the dining room first, which Lan Qiren did. Oddly enough, despite his cliché and rather condescending reassurances, Wen Ruohan looked especially pleased throughout dinner, almost as if he really meant what he’d said.

It was nice, Lan Qiren thought, to be liked. One could get used to it.

His injuries were healing very well, between the medicines Wen Ruohan’s doctors plied him with – Lan Qiren attempted not to calculate the value of them, certain that they were probably worth more than a small sect’s heirloom treasure – and the rich spiritual energy Wen Ruohan insisted on infusing him with, morning and night. Lan Qiren tried to protest that the latter was unnecessary, but Wen Ruohan had stood on his rights as the host, and at any rate he simply had so much qi that the effort seemed not to wear on him at all. So Lan Qiren let him keep doing it, Wen Ruohan’s warm hands conveying warm qi as he spoke to him of various matters, important and trifling, and Lan Qiren – liked it.

“In the Nightless City, we release lanterns several times a year, not just on the Lantern Festival,” Wen Ruohan murmured into Lan Qiren’s ear as he sat there, eyes growing heavy as his rules-mandated bedtime approached. “It’s a celebration of the sun as our sect’s sigil. The lanterns come in all shapes and sizes and colors, and we light the flames with spiritual energy. There’s a day not far from now where we will do it; people are making preparations already. Your body is still stiff and unbending, your wounds still healing – you’ll be here to see it.”

Lan Qiren nodded.

“Good,” Wen Ruohan said. “Very good…ah, little Lan, what a strange thing you are. When you were gone, I thought of you often no matter what I wished. I thought that I could cure it by having you here, but now you are here before me, every day, and yet I think of you no less. It seems that seeing you every day does not cause me to tire of you.”

“Yes, you’re very easily amused,” Lan Qiren said, his eyes sliding shut as the warm qi circulated through his body. “I think we long ago established that.”

“Is there any feature of yours that you actually like, little Lan? Or is it all self-depreciation?”

“I have a good brain,” Lan Qiren said. “I’m creative and analytical, and I explain things well; I make for a decent or even accomplished teacher. My musical ability is good, both in terms of playing and composition. Also, I’m informed that my face is first rate.”

Wen Ruohan laughed behind his shoulder. “I stand corrected.”

When they parted that night, all was well.

The peace did not last until morning.

#mdzs #lan qiren #wen ruohan #my fic #my fics #spilled pearls

[peachy-hk]

Hikaru and Tamaki angst(seperate) where reader watches them fall for Haruhi and they know the boys would never love them cuz they're nothing like her. After moping they move on and fall for someone new and confess. Too bad the boys notice this and realize they love reader not Haruhi. Reader realizes they're trying to doom their relationship with this new person and just blow up on the boys saying they're finally happy and they're ruing it. Boys watch reader be happy without them. Angst ending.

does this count as unrequited love? idk somebody tell me. I cut them a little short so I could fit Hikaru and Tamaki in one post.  Tbh i kinda went off track from the request but i really like how they turned out!

moving on - Tamaki x Reader, Hikaru x reader (separate)

Warnings: fem reader! 

Word count: 870

A/N: I’m sorry it took me so long to respond omg, school started again but I finally got time!!

Hikaru

There are two reasons you never confessed your feelings towards Hikaru Hitachiin. 

One, you didn’t want to have the twins try to pull a switch on you.

Two, he loved Haruhi Fujioka.

It was clear from the second that you met the host club that he had feelings for her. Yet it didn’t stop you from having your own feelings for the boy.

The four of you were in the same class. This was by far the best and worst part of having feelings for him. It meant you could spend hours with him everyday. But, it also meant you had to watch how he looked at Haruhi completely different than he did at you.  

How could you possibly compete with her? 

you can’t.

it’s at 12 am one night when you suddenly realize that moping around hoping that Hikaru would give you his affection for even a second will never happen. 

Crying at night, longing for his touch and attention won’t change anything. 

You make up your mind that night. 

You’re moving on. 

It’s a lot easier said than done. 

feelings don’t work in a way where if you chose to disregard them, the will disappear.

your heart still cracks a little every time you see him look longingly at her. You still wish he was looking at you. But he isn’t, and the sooner you get that thought into your head, the better.

they eat together, they do their work together, they spend their breaks together. They do everything thing you wish you could do with him. 

there’s a thought in your mind. A small itching thought. That the two might just be dating. You’re moving on but you still don’t want it to be true. It would make sense though right? If they’re dating it would explain why they act so much like a couple. A seed is planted in your head that day. They’re dating. 

Does your heart shatter at the thought? Yes.

Did it help you get over him? Also yes. 

Months pass and you’re now in a loving relationship with none other than Takashi Morinozuka. Haruhi and Hikaru have been publicly dating since the start of your relationship. 

You don’t remember the last time Hikaru had tried to talk to you outside of class, and to be quite frank, you didn’t care either. So when he tries to talk to you at lunch, when the classroom is empty, your thoughts are running wild. 

“Can we talk?”

“...”

“why don’t you like me anymore?”

“Why do you care? We’re both in separate relationships.”

“I think, I’m in love with you. Not Haruhi.” 

“It’s a little too late for that. I’m happy with Mori.”

you leave the classroom. If you stayed both of you would spiral. You’re happy with Mori, he needs to know that you’ve moved on. He is no longer the one in your eyes or in your heart. 

Tamaki 

“When we’re older, lets get married!”

He said this to you when you we’re both children. No worries in the world, running around you the school rose garden. At the time it didn’t stick to you. You didn’t even have the slightest idea of what marriage was. But you agreed anyway. 

“Remember, you can’t date anybody!! We’re getting married when we’re older!”

Elementary school, recess. The same day a boy in your class had confessed his feelings to you. You felt horrible for leaving the boy like that. But Tamaki had dragged you away to remind you of your childhood promise. 

“Come to the dance with me! We can steal the spotlight as if we’re practising for our future wedding!”

Middle school, lunch time. The tickets to the school’s next dance are being sold. Tamaki makes sure you’re the person he goes with. 

You’ve always known that he never meant it. How could somebody so easily stick by something they said as a child? There’s no way he actually thought the two of you would get married right?

You think it’s a joke. You want it to be a joke. Until the day comes when he and Haruhi start dating. You wish you could take it all back. Take his words seriously.

They dance together in the middle of the dance floor. Fingers intertwined, bodies pressed close. They look so elegant, so graceful. All you can think about, is how much you wish you were her in that moment. 

Kyoya taps your shoulder and offers his hand. No words need to be exchanged as you place your hand in his and he guides the two of you to the rose garden. 

“I thought you’d like a break from the crowded inside. Get some air, dance in the moonlight.”

“You always seem to know just what I need.”

Your hands intertwine with his as the two of you dance to the music that is still audible from the ballroom. You rest your head on his shoulder, taking in the scent of whatever expensive cologne he’s got on. Your eyes meet, as your bodies inch closer together.

Tamaki Suoh feels his heart break in his chest, as he watches his best friend and first love kiss in the garden where everything began.

#ouran #ouran x reader #ouran x you #tamaki suoh #hikaru hitachiin #tamaki x reader #hikaru x reader #hikaru hitachiin x reader #tamaki suoh x reader #ohshc fanfiction #ohshc angst #OHSHC #ouran high school host club #ohshc x reader #takashi morinozuka #mori x reader #takashi morinozuka x reader #ouran kyoya #kyoya ootori #kyoya x reader #kyoya ootori x reader

[deceitfuldevil]

Do I Wanna Know?

Pietro Maximoff X Reader

Summary: You and Pietro’s friendship could best be described as a relationship that never was, it was constant flirting that you both brushed off as just a very close friendship. A friendship so close that sometimes you flirt with others, so when feelings get hurt; dynamics are crushed. But those who are meant for each other will always come crawling back. Vaguely based off the song “Do I Wanna Know?” by the Arctic Monkeys.

Warnings: Slight angst, kissing, fluff, all that :)

Word Count: 2.3K

It all started when you first joined the avengers, a few months after the battle of Sokovia. Tony had a last minute thing with Pepper and assigned Pietro Maximoff to show you around the compound, which he initially whined over. Not wanting to do anything more than stay in bed on his day off, he begged Wanda to take over for him. She agreed under the circumstance that he’d make dinner for a week.

Sitting on the couch watching whatever was on TV at the moment, Pietro munched on some chips, enjoying his day off to its fullest extent. He heard some chattering behind him and turned his head to see his sister Wanda and another woman with her head turned the other way, who he could only assume was the newest member to the team. Waving a small hello to his sister he turned back around and continued his program, but of course Wanda wouldn’t let him off that easy.

“Ahem,” Wanda said, clearing her throat as she now stood next to the couch Pietro sat on with the newest recruit, you.

“Y/n, this is my brother Pietro. Pietro, this is the newest addition to the Avengers, Y/n.” she said with a smile, mentally slapping her brother for being so lazy. Pietro gave you and Wanda a half-assed glance ready to wave you off, but he did a double take when he saw you. Choking slightly on his chips he stood up abruptly and brushed himself off, extending his hand out to yours.

You started to feel hot under his gaze as you gladly accepted his hand and shook it; he had a firm grasp that made you want to melt into the ground.

“So, what’s your thing printcessa?” He asked smoothly, slipping his hand out of yours, making you frown slightly as the loss of contact. But then you quirked your head to the side, not understanding his question.

“He means, what powers do you have?” Wanda interjected, clarifying his question.

“Oh you know, telekinesis, super strength, some healing abilities, the usual.” you joked

“Hey we could’ve really used you a few months ago during the battle of Sokovia. This asshole nearly got himself killed!” Wanda said, raising her eyebrows at her brother.

“Ahh sister you worry too much, I was fine!” Pietro insisted, waving her off.

“Sure you were. . . we’re going to finish this tour now okay?” Wanda said, turning around and getting ready to show you the rest of the compound. But of course Pietro had something to say about that.

“And take this gorgeous new Avenger away from me? You know Tony assigned me to show her around, right? So rude of you to just steal her away like that. . .” Pietro said, rushing to your side and taking your hand, pulling you along.

“I thought you wanted to-”

“Sorry! TV is too loud, I can’t hear you!” Pietro said running off with you, making you giggle.

The rest of the tour Pietro slipped in little compliments and flirty touches; in fact, the rest of your time there was practically the same. You had an innate attraction to Pietro, and he was drawn to you from the moment he laid eyes on you. But yet, nothing ever actually happened between the two of you, which quite frankly annoyed the hell out of the team. Having to constantly watch you two flirt and cuddle as if it was nothing was borderline ridiculous.

It’s been four months since you’ve joined the avengers and your tension with Pietro was higher than ever, and with another successful mission down Tony decided to host another one of his famous parties. You saw this as the perfect opportunity to look irresistible for Pietro, but when you walked out onto the dance floor in your sexiest dress and saw Pietro at the bar with some blonde bimbo caressing his muscles, and you damn near lost it.

Rationally, you had no right to be angry at all. You and Pietro weren’t an item, you never were. But seeing him in such close proximity to some girl who's name he probably didn’t even know practically made steam come out of your ears. You disregarded your fellow teammates saying hello to you as you entered the party and the compliments thrown your way as you made your way towards Pietro, ready to give him a piece of your mind.

But you were too late, no more than 10 feet away from Pietro the nasty blonde he was with pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. You watched in horror and pain as you felt your heart break into a million and one pieces. You rushed off to your room before any tears could spill from your eyes, staying there for the rest of the night as the party raged on, only imagining the worst in your head about Pietro and that bitch he was with.

What you didn’t see was Pietro promptly pushing the blonde away from him, and Wanda finding her brother soon after slapping him across the face.

“What the hell, Pietro?!” Wanda shouted at her brother, drawing attention from the others at the party.

“Suka! What was that for?!” He exclaimed, holding the left side of his face in pain.

“That was for kissing that girl when you know Y/n’s been pinning after you for months!” She yelled, not caring about the excess attention from the others.

“She doesn’t feel that way about me. We've been over this a thousand times Wanda!” He fired back, anger and hurt lacing his voice.

“Yes she does! Did you forget I can read minds?” She said rolling her eyes, a little red glowing in them. Pietro got quiet and turned away from his sister.

“You better go and apologize to her and tell her how you really feel before she changes her mind after what she just saw!” Wanda pointed out, causing her brother to rush off, leaving streaks of blue in his place.

You sat with your back pressed to your door as you sobbed quietly, jumping when you heard a knock behind you.

“Y/n?” You heard Pietro call out. You sighed and rolled your eyes.

“I don’t have any condoms Pietro, go ask Sam.” You said bitterly.

Standing on the other side of the door your words were like knives in Pietro’s chest; he wanted to respond and tell you how he really felt, but after your harsh comment he turned away and went back to his room. Wanda visited him when the party was over and he gave her the same bitter attitude you had given him hours ago.

“I don’t know what part of her head you looked into but she definitely doesn’t feel the same way, so thanks a lot.” Pietro said harshly, making Wanda leave without another word.

Things were a lot different in the compound after that night. You and Pietro were no longer lovey-dovey, now holding nothing but contempt towards one another. It changed the whole dynamic of the team, none of them knowing how to act around you two now, or even what happened.

It had been about three weeks since you and Pietro last spoke to each other, and here you were at 3am sitting on the couch crying while you ate ice straight out of the carton. You sat silently as the tears streamed down your face, jumping when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Turning around you saw a very tired looking Wanda.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” You asked quietly.

“No, but your thoughts did. I never knew someone’s thoughts could be so loud when they’re heartbroken.” Wanda said, sitting down next to you.

“Pfshh, I’m not heartbroken! What in God's name are you talking about?” You said casually, pushing your emotions back down as you set the container of ice cream down on the table in front of you.

“You know, he’s torn up too.” Wanda said, turning to face you.

“And you expect me to believe that why?” You asked, neither of you noticing the new presence that stood in the kitchen.

“Did both of you magically forget I can read minds?” She asked with a laugh, making you feel small.

“Okay well even if he did have feelings for me at one point there’s no way he still feels that way. If he did he wouldn’t have let that girl kiss him at the party,” you said bitterly.

“You have no idea how much he regrets that, and for the record that blonde kissed him. He pushed her off after you ran away.” Wanda explained, putting more hope than you’d cared to admit in your heart.

“He’ll come crawling back to you soon enough, I promise.” she said with a small laugh, patting your back as she got up and left you alone on the couch. Wondering if your feelings for Pietro flowed both ways.

A little more than a week had passed since that night as you were constantly tormented by the question, “Do I wanna know?” because if Pietro did feel the same way towards you at one point, how would the recent events change how he feels for you now?

However now was not the time to dwell on the question racking your head; now you were on a mission with the rest of the team getting some much needed intel from what you thought was an abandoned HYDRA base. But when gunfire erupted you immediately took cover and soon followed Steve’s orders to fall back and head to the quinjet. Running back you tripped and fell face first into the dirt. Getting up you winced as you looked around and saw the last person you’d want hurt.

“Pietro’s shot!” You scream into your comms as you crawled next to him as he laid up against a tree, falling in and out of consciousness. You started to cry worrying your powers wouldn’t be enough as you placed your hands over his wounds, mustering all of the power you could. You thought all hope was lost until you heard a loud gasp as Pietro grabbed onto you and held you close to his chest.

“It’s okay Pietro, I’m here, you’re alright,” you whispered as you started to feel very tired. He ran his fingers through your hair as he stared down at you, in awe of your abilities. You looked back at him with tired eyes.

“I’ll always come crawling back to you,” you said as sleep took over your body. Pietro took it upon himself to speed your sleeping figure back to the quinjet, setting you down as you snored softly. He admired you, but only for a minute as Wanda embraced him in a big hug from behind.

“You have got to stop making the sacrifice play, brother.” she said, more than relieved that he was okay.

“Now I just might. I wouldn’t want to put this beauty under so much stress again right?” He joked, motioning to your sleeping figure. Wanda smiled brightly at him.

“You better not mess this up again, otherwise I’m finding her a more suitable partner.” Wanda joked, punching her brother in the arm playfully.

“No one is more perfect for her than I.” Pietro said with a cocky tone. Wanda only sighed in response, not wanting to admit that he was right.

-

You woke up slowly in a dimly lit room; looking around you saw a familiar man with silver hair asleep in the corner of what you now recognized as the compound’s recovery room. You smiled contently as you used your telekinesis to bring the chair he slept in next to your bed. You reached out for his hand and gently ran your fingers over his knuckles, sighing tranquilly

Pietro slowly awoke as you just stared shamelessly at him.

“Dragosté!” Pietro exclaimed, now fully awake, jumping up and embracing you in a tight hug. He pulled away but kept his close distance, his hot breath fanning over your face as your eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips. A few more stolen moments passed by before Pietro closed the space in-between you two and pressed his soft lips to yours. Moving lazily against each other he slowly pulled away and rested his forehead on yours.

“I’m so sorry for everything, I should’ve seen it sooner.” he said sweetly, pressing another kiss to your cheek as you smiled.

“It’s okay, you’re here now and that’s all that matters.” you said, bringing your hand up to the side of his face, admiring his cobalt blue eyes. His eyes filled with the most love-struck look you’d ever seen as he pressed his lips back on yours, grinning from ear to ear.

You’d have some explaining to do to your other teammates in the morning when they’d inevitably find you both sleeping together in the cramped hospital bed though.

-

Hi all!! I hope this short imagine was fun for you all to read! Some of my more recent one-shots have been getting a lot of attention lately and it makes me so happy! I am over the moon that I’m not only writing again but gaining some traction. Thank you all so much! Don’t forget that my requests are open and feedback is encouraged! Also I just hit 100 followers and I know it’s not much but I’ll be starting a sleepover tomorrow!

Much Love,

-Skyler

#age of ultron #au #avengers age of ultron #cute #fan fic #fan fiction #fluff #imagine #love #marvel #pietro maximoff x y/n #pietro x reader #pietro maximoff x reader #wandavision #avengers #mcu x reader #marvel mcu #mcu #mcu pietro maximoff #x reader #quicksliver #quicksilver x reader #one shot #aaron taylor johnson #atj #pietro #angst #arctic monkeys #aaron johnson #reader insert

[pointnumbersixteen]

How do you see The Captain's coming out, and growth in confidence and self acceptance thereafter taking place?

I like this question! …and I’m probably going to elaborate on it a bit more than many people will want to read (I noticed back when I was regularly writing essay length posts that they did not get a lot of love) and it’s probably going to get even more ramble-y than usual (brain has not been braining as cooperatively as it should recently and the decision to drink half a bottle of wine right before answering this- sorry- probably does not help), but here we are.  

 About coming out scenarios, none of mine are particularly elaborate. While I do think he needs to come out for his story line to progress, I can’t imagine him making a big thing out of it (long or elaborate announcements, heart-to-hearts, emotional displays of bearing his authentic self or any of the like), either with the group, or person-by-person, for several reasons:

First off, that sort of a coming-out to-do is a more modern notion, and I doubt he was a particularly modern person even when he was alive, seventy-five years ago. His notions of privacy and propriety are probably much more conservative than ours, and I feel like that makes it unlikely that he’d go into any sort of detail, at least at early in this process, about his feelings/emotions or the specificities of his attractions. We’re talking about a man who doesn’t even use his own name. It’s difficult to picture him going into depth about his desires and love life.

Secondly, he’s a bit of a social coward. (He’s not a physical coward, of course, he jumped on that bomb in the garden without hesitation, and acknowledged after the fact that he gotten caught up in the moment, and therefore hadn’t really thought about how a bomb couldn’t hurt him.) And I get it, I’m a bit of a social coward, too, so no judgement. He probably faced a lot of ridicule in his life. Being a social coward is totally fair. But he doesn’t put himself into situations that might involve awkward interpersonal interactions if he can help it, and legs it whenever interactions he’s already in become to awkward for him. I feel like he’s probably quite desperate (although he’d never admit to it) to save face and protect what bits of his ego remain unscathed.

Think about it: he could have spoken to Fanny on his own about her nightly screaming disturbing him in s1e1, they have a clear association established at the outset of the show, they leave Heather’s room together at the end of the very first scene, but he doesn’t do so until he has the weight of the whole group to back him up about the screaming at their meeting. He had to buck up his courage and give himself his little ‘over the top we go’ pep talk before going to speak to Alison in Gorilla War. Also, if there was actually something wrong with his soldiers’ horseplay after hours in Reddy Weddy- if it was breaking regulations or even his own orders for quiet hours- and he heard it, he could have gone down directly when he heard it, confronted whoever was involved and order them to stop or put them on report. But no, instead he addressed the entire group of soldiers in a sixteen point morning brief. He even dispatched Pat to confront Alison about the party in s2e2, instead doing it himself… and spit out his apology/reconciliation with Pat at the end as fast as possible. And as for legging it when things get awkward, see his retreats following the group confronting him in Getting Out and after Alison telling him he wasn’t needed in the Grey Lady- and on a more figurative than literal level, but most relevantly, his quick turn from ‘I’ll miss you’ to ‘we’ll miss you’ with Havers in Reddy Weddy.

This is not a man who wants to be in awkward or embarrassing situations. And I think that coming out, at least at first, will probably be a bit embarrassing for him- it was scandalous in his time, and I think it will take him longer to get over that feeling and come to terms with himself than it will to finally acknowledge that he’s gay. So I doubt he’d make more of it than he utterly feels he has to, at least at first. And of course, he’d have to be a bit afraid that people would judge him or stop associating with him over it, as sadly, in his own time many people would have done, and most of the ghosts are from even earlier times than he was. So that might add more hesitation…

And thirdly, he doesn’t like and/or respect many of his house mates. The other twentieth century ghosts are the only ones he spends much time with. I doubt he’d go out of his way to communicate much of anything to the rest if it wasn’t “mission related” much less discuss his sexuality with them. He mostly disregards Humphrey. See his, “Oh, it’s you.” Mary obviously doesn’t like him and he only associates with her when it might be useful for his ‘missions.’ He clearly doesn’t think much of Thomas and doesn’t really even bother including him in his plans. These aren’t people he’s going to have heart-to-hearts with.

With those constraints in place, here’s a non-exhaustive list of possibilities by which I might see his coming out finally happening. They’re really just scenarios I made for myself on how I might see him coming out and I like to keep my options open (the first three are strategies he might go for, the last is an alternate scenario, presented in decreasing levels of directness on his part):

1) The ‘pull the bandage off quickly and hope it doesn’t sting too much’ strategy.

The Captain waits for the end of one of their various group activities or meetings, where all announcements seem to be made, gets up, clears his throat, stammers a bit, announces it tersely, using the most proper popular word for homosexuality that existed in his time (think: “Heh-hem. Er. Um. Well. It has recently come to my attention that I am- er- well- as it happens- gay. I, uh, thought it should be noted. That is all.”), and then beats a hasty retreat, so he doesn’t have to try to cope with the potentially negative aftermath. Of course, there isn’t a negative aftermath, because many of the ghosts already have guessed and the rest don’t really care. Someone, probably Pat, because he does the bulk of the emotional labor in the group, and more importantly, he’s Cap’s closest friend, would have to go after him. He would of course be initially defensive, and Pat would have to sooth his feathers a bit- or maybe just spit it out over his defensiveness- that he guessed a long time ago and so had plenty of other people, and they were just waiting for him to be ready, and really, it’s fine, and no one’s going to disown him for it.  

2) The ‘well maybe I should tell my friends with the hope they support me’ strategy.

He gets together with a small group, the people whose company he actually values, definitely Fanny and Pat, maybe Julian, probably Alison either at the same time or after he finishes with his ghosts pals, and says it in much the same way as the previous scenario, but waiting for their reactions rather than retreating straight away. Pat and Alison, I expect, would answer with something like ‘yeah, we figured that one out a long time ago, actually, and it’s completely fine’ and Julian’s reaction would probably be something like, ‘well, obviously.’ Fanny’s had a lot of character growth since season one, when I expect her reaction would have been very shrill and judgmental, probably still would be a touch less warm and/or nonchalant, but I picture it as something like a sigh, followed by a pat on the arm and something like, ‘well, I still like you better than everyone else here, anyway.’ Word would eventually trickle to everyone else by way of social osmosis. Or not. No one seems to care if Humphrey or the plague ghosts are well informed.  

3) The ‘I’m not brave enough to actually go through the process of actually telling anyone anything about me so let’s just drop hints and hope everyone figures it out without making a big deal about it’ strategy.  

The indirect approach (I’m rather fond of this one, but mostly because it was my own primary coming out approach)… he first sends out feelers to certain people on the topic of homosexuality, probably Alison, since she’s modern, hosted a lesbian wedding, and very much implied that she’d be ready to keep scandalous secrets for him in Reddy Weddy, and  possibly maybe also Julian, as he’s the most sexually experienced/knowledgeable, and after Alison spent a while inundating him with ‘it’s okay to be gay’ messages (along with a sudden and entirely unexplained influx of LGBT media) as she’s socially clever enough to see that’s what he’s looking for and after Julian spent a while telling him probably far more than he ever actually wanted to know about the potentialities of gay sex, that might boost the Captain’s confidence enough to let him start dropping hints to people, instead of telling them outright (consciously commenting on the attractiveness of men they see rather than occasionally accidentally blurting it out- see ‘the handsome one’- occasionally putting forth an opinion or stance on the LGBT world ‘it would have been nice if gay marriage was acceptable when I was alive,’ maybe occasionally mentioning how certain men would make cute couple), expecting them to meet him in the middle and figure out the point on their own… of course, many of them have already realized, so this isn’t a problem. It’s entirely possible, though, that Mary (world view not terribly grounded in reality) and Kitty (lack of life experience and/or instruction about life, see the how are babies made subplot) never pick up the hints on their own and someone else eventually has to tell them.

4) The ‘someone puts him out of his misery’ scenario.

Cap acknowledges to himself that he’s gay first and then, wishing to avoid embarrassment or lack of acceptance, obviously, awkwardly, painfully tries to disguise it and in doing so draws attention to it, until a third party decides to put him out of his misery and tell him that many of them figured it out ages ago and that everyone is fine with it. Maybe Pat. Maybe Alison. I kind of like the idea of it being Fanny (with her lovely character growth and her couple of suspicious glances his way in the Perfect Day), actually, by way of something like ‘You know, I was entirely prepared to continue on living with my husband, George, keeping his secrets, about the, uh, sort of person he was, and you’re at least one better than him, given that you at least never murdered me- or, for that matter, never married some poor woman you had no interest in to shield yourself from scrutiny… and so, what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t turn my back on you for being the, uh, sort of person you are, either, and maybe things have progressed enough that you don’t actually have to keep secrets at all.’ Cap would take all of this in with a mixture of mortification and relief. I’m rather fond of this scenario, too.  

 As for the second bit of the question, once his sexuality is out there, though, and no one judges him or hates him for it- and some are quite supportive- I do see him becoming more self-accepting. If no one’s judging him, does he need to judge himself so harshly? And also more confident. Because some of those things that he’s always felt different about and in the past has probably been ridiculed about in the past (even if he’s in denial about being gay, he and quite a few other people had to at the very least note that he’s not particularly interested in women), are, apparently just fine now. So he’s a bit more just fine now himself. And that weight of always trying to be someone else, someone who’s just right, can lift and he can relax a bit more. And that would probably help him a lot, too. I see it as a slow sort of thawing process. No matter what way he comes out, I still see Alison as very helpfully providing a variety of LGBT media to help this process along. And maybe he’d eventually get to the point where he processed enough and warmed up enough to be able to talk more in depth, at least with his friends, about what it was like being him in repressed pre-war Britain, and what sort of men he’s attracted to (I enjoy the idea of him and Fanny- gradually overcoming her own repression- scoping out hot men together). Maybe he’ll even luck out one of his male housemates will decide (or has already decided) that bisexuality is a valid option and he’ll get a date (insert whichever ghost y’all ship him with here). I bet Alison would totally help him set up a nice date, too, with her convenient still-functional-in-the-mortal-realm hands. And it would be nice to maybe see him get a taste of actual happiness.    

#bbc ghosts #the captain #coming out #sorry for the giant block of text friends #i find it difficult to help myself

[dollar2host]

Why Is Your Website Loading Slowly?

Your website's success is directly correlated to the speed at which it loads pages. It has an effect on a wide range of important metrics, such as the conversion rate and the visibility of your website, for example.

There are a number of readily available speed tests that you can use to discover how well your website performs in comparison to others. Even though there are a number of potential causes for your website's slow performance, you should be able to address the majority of these issues by utilizing high-quality web hosting and free WordPress plugins.

In this article, we'll explain why it's so important for your website to have a fast-loading time. After that, we will discuss the remedies to typical problems that might result in a website's performance. Let's just jump right in, shall we?

Why It Is Important That Your Website Loads Quickly

Users have come to predict a rapid load time when they visit a website. The User Experience (UX) of your website will suffer if the loading time of individual pages is significantly longer than assumed. This is significant since the user experience (UX) of your website directly affects the conversion rate.

You should also anticipate a greater page abandonment and bounce rate as a result of this change. To be more exact, research has shown that the bounce rate of a website can increase by 103% for every additional two seconds that it takes to load the page. In addition, a delay in loading of even one hundred milliseconds might result in a decrease in conversion rates of seven per cent.

Even fractions of a second are important, which is why it is essential to optimize the performance of your website as much as you possibly can. In addition, the speed of your website not only affects whether users remain on your site and convert, but it also affects whether or not they can even locate your website in the first place.

Google's ranking algorithm now takes into account how quickly a site loads on both mobile and desktop devices. It is possible that the visibility of your website on the search engine results pages (SERPs) will diminish, which will, in turn, result in reduced levels of traffic.

When the success of your website is at stake, you cannot afford to disregard the importance of speed. If you're feeling overwhelmed, a good place to start would be doing tests to figure out where your website is at the moment. You can obtain a better idea of how long your users are waiting by doing load time tests, after which you can start to work on reducing those numbers.

Reasons Your Website Is Slow:

After you have determined the present performance of your website, you can begin to work on optimizing the important aspects that have an effect on the site's speed. Let's have a look at the most prevalent issues that are responsible for slow website performance and talk about how to fix them.

1. Page Load Times Are Being Delayed Due to Render-Blocking JavaScript

Users will only be able to take advantage of your website's functionality and interactive features if JavaScript is used as the code. Your website wouldn't be nearly as interesting without it. On the other hand, if JavaScript is not optimized, it can slow down the loading time of your sites in the browsers used by your visitors.

When a web browser attempts to show a webpage, it is required to pause in order to completely load any JavaScript files that it comes across. This causes something that is known as "render-blocking JavaScript," which is a type of JavaScript that slows down the loading time of the page.

There are three different approaches to dealing with JavaScript that prevent rendering:

·  Get rid of any outside JavaScript files and replace them with inline JavaScript instead.

· Utilize asynchronous loading to ensure that the JavaScript component loads independently from the rest of the page.

· Put offloading JavaScript until the remainder of the page has been loaded and is visible to the user.

· Each approach has a number of advantages and disadvantages. When used in moderation, inline JavaScript can help increase page speed; however, excessive use is not recommended. Because files are not loaded in any specific order while using asynchronous loading, this can result in problems. Because of this, delaying JavaScript is typically the strategy that is advised to use.

2. You Do Not Make Use of a Content Delivery Network (also Known as a "CDN")

A Content Delivery Network, often known as a CDN, is made up of a number of servers that are dispersed across the world in key geographic regions. You can store copies of your website on them so that people who are located a great distance away from your primary server can still swiftly load the pages of your website. 

There are many Contents Delivery Network (CDN) alternatives available for your WordPress website. Cloudflare is one of the most widely used systems, and the Jetpack Content Delivery Network (CDN) is widely used for delivering photos and videos. 

In addition, rather than loading jQuery from your website's web server, you can load it through a content delivery network (CDN). Because jQuery requires a significantly lower number of lines of code than JavaScript does to achieve the same results, it can be a very helpful tool for increasing the speed of your website. The two most widely used content delivery networks (CDN) for jQuery are Google and Microsoft.

3. Your database has an excessive amount of unnecessary overhead.

The term "overhead" refers to unnecessary objects in the database of your website. These items include logs, transients, and other entries that can accumulate over time as a result of plugins or themes. An excessive amount of this "overhead" might make database queries take significantly longer than is strictly necessary. It is even possible that it will result in your web server timed out while it is waiting for a response from your database in some circumstances.

This can be avoided to some extent by performing optimization on your database and removing any unnecessary overhead. The majority of website hosts make it possible for you to access the phpMyAdmin database management software through your hosting account. You can utilize the WordPress Command Line Interface, often known as WP-CLI if you are unable to optimize your tables by using the phpMyAdmin interface.

4. The CSS on Your Site Isn't Optimized for Search Engines

If your site's CSS, which is the code responsible for decorating its pages, is not optimized, it can slow down the loading process in the same way that JavaScript can. You have a few options available to you for getting your CSS into shape, including the following:

If you have multiple external CSS files, you should consolidate them into one or a few larger files.

Get rid of all the external CSS and replace it with inline CSS instead.

You can determine when particular CSS files should be loaded by utilizing the "media types" attribute.

Inline CSS, much like inline JavaScript, is only beneficial for relatively tiny amounts of code. You shouldn't attempt to include all of your massive CSS files in your HTML file if you have multiple large files, to begin with. If you have more than one external CSS file, specifying the types of media being used and integrating them into a single file should have a more substantial impact.

5. The OPache service is not activated.

The programming language PHP comes equipped with its very own caching engine called OPcache. If PHP is used on your website, turning on OPcache can help speed up the loading of PHP, which will, in turn, help speed up the loading of your pages.

When you choose to host your website with one of our Shared WordPress or Dollar2host plans, OPcache will automatically be enabled for you. It is quite possible that you will need to enable it manually if your website is hosted on one of our other plans or with another web host.

6. Problems with caching prevent optimized page loading from taking place.

Caching is the process through which browsers keep static versions of the files on your website. The user's browser will then display the data that has been cached rather than having to reload it each time the visitor visits your website.

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After that, you can do a more in-depth investigation of these files to decide how you can enhance them. You could also find it helpful to temporarily disable possibly troublesome scripts in order to observe how your performance scores change when these scripts are disabled.

8. The Code on Your Website Is Too Bulky:

The length of time it takes for your website to become visible to a user's web browser is directly proportional to the amount of code that website has to load. Your website's load time could be affected if the code you use is too "bulky" or if it includes characters and line breaks that aren't necessary. In response, you can "minify" the code by deleting the components that aren't required for it to function properly.

There are two widely used plugins available for accomplishing this goal. In addition to inclining CSS and optimizing JavaScript files, Autoptimize can also reduce the size of the code. Additionally, it works well with the WP Super Cache plugin.

Conclusion:

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In this essay, we have discussed twelve of the most prevalent factors that contribute to sluggish website speeds. Despite the fact that ideally, you want to optimize your site in all of the ways that we have described, identifying specific areas for improvement such as enabling caching or compressing your media assets can help you handle the most significant problems first.

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[abbynx]

Man's greatest treasure

(Monoma Neito X Reader)

You find it particularly difficult when it comes to clashing amongst the most the rich and important who has colourful arrays of expensively glimmering rocks sewn in their clothes while you wore second hand clothing you've inherited from your older relatives. You find it additionally difficult you were practically the most underdressed person, ironically the most eye-catching one in the banquet. It seems like being the favoured darling among the crowd in this party sounds ethereal... If they weren't looking down at you on their noses with their brows raised, probably questioning how a simpleton such as you be in an extravagant banquet hosted by the wealthiest and privileged family in Japan.

Silently heaving a sigh, your gaze simply met with the floor. It was then you noticed the rich texture of the material of it. For all you know, the floor you're currently standing on is made with the most rarest stone known to mankind but at least it does not negatively interact with you. The nasty glares from rich strangers never seem to fade out even if you try to divert your attention into something else. Your ears can't help but to do its purpose, you've heard the things they've said about you.

How the hell did they even got here?

Who in the world thought it would be a good idea to invite them?

Did they...? Crashed the party?

Ugh, their attire is sooo last decade

Aren't they supposed to be... not invited?

Who invited this peasant here?

You have always dealt about comments about you. Whether it was because of your physical appearance, your personality, your status, your background, your ambitions and you have come into terms with it... You were born from a poverty-stricken family who raised a person who will give them financial support. You have always been the pawn, the answer to their financial needs. For the booze, the drugs, three meals a day, a decent living space... However, there would be times you would find yourself getting strangled with extremely irrational thoughts. You would let them fuel the way you doubt yourself to a certain extent you've contemplated about your own worth. A pawn to your parents, a doormat to privileged people, a plaything for fate to entertain themselves with... A worthless nobody who serves the role as the floor scrubbing servant who feeds on the leftover from the plates of the privileged.

The only reason you were because of an invitation from the celebrator himself. Neito Monoma wishes to celebrate his success of landing as the top ninth hero with you by throwing am insanely large gala.

His family was old money, filthy rich and will only get richer and richer as the decades pile on. Their family have always been composed of famous and successful people. His father owns a large company for jewellery mainly rings, his mother is a famous fashion designer, his eldest brother is the heir of the company and as well as a popular influencer, his sister is the famous actress with myriad of talents for both Broadway and media...

And how could you forget your darling Neito Monoma? The top ninth hero of Japan. Talented, skilled, cunning, intellectual, successful... Compared to a plain nobody such as you are. You often questioned your relevance and worth and he hates it.

It was no secret his family does not like you. They never bothered to conceal it even if Neito was around. You've met them before, it was the time your boyfriend introduced you to his family in a simple family dinner in the Monoma estate. You can still feel their gazes bearing scrutiny and obvious hatred. Neito was by your side all the time and you appreciate it... But there would be times where you're starting believe his parents that he deserves better.

You have encountered his sister awhile ago. She was divinely beautiful, a deity incarnated with a rotten core. With a face barren with any superficial cosmetics, it was then you realize that she is effortlessly beautiful as much as she is effortless at being ugly on the inside. The way she scrunched her face upon seeing you present in her brother's celebration... It was disgusting that you weren't able to stand your ground, but your in the depths of your despair, your inferiority got the best of you instead.

"Oh, I thought he would have already broke up with you-" she gazed at your from the tip of her nose. "-dear brother deserves the best and only the best. Not some peasant dressed in poorly sewn trash. Even the floor has more worth than you." She says, before walking off. It was awhile ago, just before the gala was crowded with too much people, and yet it still lingers in your mind.

The floor even has more worth than I have-

"Ah, you've made it!" You find yourself snapping out of your irrational thoughts induced trance when a certain pompous voice took your hands in his, pulling you closer until your head rests on his chest. You gradually pressed your head against his chest with a sigh, entwining your fingers with his soft and slender ones. His chest lightly shakes with a light-hearted chuckle, wrapping an arm over the small of your back while his free hand held your hands. "I apologize for my tardiness, I was simply greeting guests individually... So I decided to greet the best for last." He strokes your hand with his thumb, before pressing your wrist against his lips.

He usually enjoyed seeing you vulnerable when reacting to his shameless acts of public display of affection. The way you would timidly avert your gaze from his smug, but oddly affectionate ones, the heat emitting from your face and the smile you try to defy. But this time he saw a different type of vulnerability in your eyes... You were shaken, your usual vibrant eyes were dull and casted down, your head lowered, your shoulder sagged and back haunched. Monoma Neito immediately notices your unusual discomfort and pulls you out of the crowd to a more obscured area by the balcony.

He walks behind you, puts his hand atop your shoulders and rolls it back. He proceeds to walk in front of you, taking your chin with his pointer finger and thumb, before tilting it up to have your lovely eyes meet with his. His lips formed into a soft smirk before stealing a peck from you. He lingered a little longer, savouring the sweet spark between you and pulls away to stare into your eyes.

"Darling, chin up-" he puts his curled finger under your chin, tilting it up. "-your crown is falling."

"Oh shut it-!" At the most highest range of your voice, you shoved him by his chest and turned away from him to face the gardens below the balcony with a red face. A low chuckle erupted from the depths of his velvety vocals and takes this as an opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist and puts his chin atop your shoulder.

"Are you particularly uncomfortable with the crowd? If I've known it sooner I would have swept you off your feet and have you in my bedroom-" his finger began to wander by your shoulders, wandering by your collarbone and neck, before he found himself tracing your jawline and cheeks. He leans to your ear, his hot breathe fanning your skin as he acquired an enticing voice. "-we could've done so many things- OOF!"

You did not let him speak any further by giving him a good elbow by his stomach and pushing him away. Your cheeks burned hotter than the sun and the only thought you can pick at the back of your head was to jump off the balcony if he ever continued to fluster you like this. He doubles over in pain, clutching his stomach, but couldn't help but to laugh at your dirty assumptions.

"I was going to say reading books or watching a movie, but I see you have something else in mind," he laughs, wrapping his arms around your stiff figure. His laughs subsides with a sigh, before he puts his chin over your shoulder. "What's wrong, my love? You've been uncharacteristically silent the whole night."

You knew it wouldn't last long before he would address the elephant in the room. You were quite disappointed it took him a few minutes before he can see what's wrong. The moment he lead you out of the crowd, he knew something was wrong. You were becoming more easy to read the more he spent his time with you and you have no idea if it was a good thing or bad.

He sighs at your relentless desire to stay silence. You felt his lips on your cold neck, his cold hand grasping your hand and giving it a tight squeeze.

"Darling, please..." His voice was reduced into a more soothing tone. Genuinely concerned for your well being, taking you seriously... "Please tell me what to do to make you feel better..."

That damned voice he uses that instantly commands you to listen to him, to make yourself the best version of yourself just for him. Your chest started to well with pleasant feelings, knees started to feel weak, leading you to lean your body on his for support. He presses his body further, engulfing you with his comforting warmth. Neito gently strokes your arm in a manner to comfort you, just waiting for your answer.

"Is it my family again?" He asks, patiently waiting for your answer.

You sighed, turning around to face him. You leaned your head on his chest, grasping his hand in yours. "Promise me you won't confront them about it." You knew far too well he will find his ways to look for a loophole from your request, but at least you can hope he won't confront them because of you.

"... No promises." You rolled your eyes, lightly smacking him by the chest. He simply chuckles and caresses your cheek with a loving smile. "I'll try not to be too harsh."

You sighed, knowing full to well he might not abide with your conditions. "It's your sister..." You held the same hand he uses to caress your cheek, firmly pressing it. "She- she said that I'm worthless-"

"We both know it isn't true, my love," he smiles, kissing your knuckle and watches you squirm under his kiss. "You, my darling, are not worthless. You're priceless. Ignore my family, disregard their judgement. Their beliefs are all built in with vanity and you shan't let them affect you."

He deeply gazed upon your eyes, his grey orbs peering into your soul and piercing it with sincerity and reassurance. "No matter what they say, no matter what they do, you can't let them knock you off your humble pedestal. You can't let them dictate your worth. For you, my sweet sweet angel, are man's greatest treasure."

With tearful eyes, you embraced Neito, pressing your face against his chest. You denied yourself to sob, bursting into small whimpers as he strokes your back with his hand, swaying you from side to side to calm you down.

"It's alright my love, let it all out..." He comforts, kissing your cheek and letting you cry on his chest.

"I love you, Neito..." You wiped the stubborn tears away from your eyes, backing away from him.

He chuckles in amusement with sheer euphoria, he pulls you close. The distance between the two of you closed as both parties leaned forward to meet in a passionate kiss. He grasps your hand close to his chest, wherein his heart erratically pounds within him. After pulling away, he lingers for a second and leans his forehead against yours.

His lips touched yours as he breathlessly spoke, "I love you, too, my dearest Y/N. Remember you're worth more than you think."

#mha neito #monoma x reader #my hero x reader #mha #bnha

[knjoodles]

learn to love; jungkook | 01

pairing: teacher!jungkook x singleparent!reader

genre: fluff, angst 

word count: 3K

summary: raising your daughter alone while simultaneously watching your ex-husband live the life of his dreams away from the two of you hurts. badly. it hurts a little less, though, when you find an unlikely friend while looking for help.

lowercase intended

02 | 03 | 04

   “seyoung, please,”  

   being a single mother at this time in your daughter’s life? it wasn’t the best, so to speak.

  to your beautiful seven-year-old seyoung, the local supermarket was a treasure trove of goodies and tasty treats she could barely keep her hands away from. you darted your head in either direction of the breakfast aisle, following the sound of the patter of steps running away from you, just to spot seyoung slipping behind a tower of canned corn and into an ambiguous section of the store. “seyoung!” you gasped, dashing in the direction she went. catching your breath, you found her sitting in the middle of the candy aisle, toying with a bag of skittles and trying to use her small, short nails to tear open the wrapping.  

   “can you stay near me, baby? please?” you walked towards her slowly, placing your shopping basket on the floor and kneeling to meet her gaze. your mouth twitched into a smile as she shook her head in a pout, shoving the bag of candy against the floor in another attempt to open it. you reach your hand to take it from her hands when she pulls the bag towards her again, clutching it to her chest stubbornly.

   “mommy, i want this one!” she whined quietly, kicking her legs and fiddling with the corner of the bag. as you opened your mouth to say no, you realized you couldn’t remember the last time you’d bought something for her. it’s not that raising her alone was extremely difficult — your music producing career had taken off when she’d turned four and you finally had enough money to sustain the two of you — it’s that you were unable to give her the attention and benefits she needed as a child. money that was supposed to be spent on things like an abundance of toys, bags filled with vegetables and spices to make a delicious dinner, adorable slip-ons to match her favorite dress, were all spent on paying for bills, an occasional nanny, and her private school. you weren’t begging for help, but it would be nice.

   “alright,” you sighed, the excitement of getting candy shining through her doll-like eyes. “i’ll buy you the candy, but can you promise mommy you won’t run away like that anymore?” she happily placed the bag in your hand with the guarantee of sweets, letting you drop it into your basket. looking back at her to make sure she understands, you raised your eyebrow, prompting her to nod slowly and rise from the market floor. as the two of you made your way to the cashier, she grasped your pinky, doing what she could to hold your hand. after loading all of your groceries in the back of your car, you drove her to her friend, ailee, so they could spend the rest of the warm, welcoming sunday afternoon together. before you left, she gripped your hands as tight as she could and promised you that she’d be back soon. because she knew how much mommy will miss her.

   you savored her kind words as you slipped into your car once more, running your hands over the comforting leather stitch of the wheel before pressing the gas and driving home. on your way home, you noticed your phone sitting in the cupholder vibrating as someone called you. waiting until you reached a red light, you answered the phone quickly, paying no attention to the caller id — you get random phone calls from other producers about artists you’d be working with in the future, it was something you’d gotten used to by now.

   “hey.” a deep, masculine voice mumbled on the other side of the line. you recognized it instantly.

it was your ex-husband.

   “hi, hoseok. is there something you need?” you asked, a hint of annoyance in your voice. hearing him again after three months was surreal; it reminded you of everything that’d happened with him.  

   “yeah, i was wondering if we could, uh, visit seyoung.” he muttered, obviously tense from your tone.

we. he said we.  

the word we, without you, was the reason why you’d left him.

you found them. that’s all you’d allow yourself to think about regarding him. if you let yourself go further, you may break down in the middle of the freeway.

   “ah, you mean you and yebin? of course. seyoung’s not home right now, but you guys can come and visit her at any other time.” you replied, savoring the fact you’d planned a playdate for her. hoseok and yebin were the last people you wanted to see at the moment.

  you weren't angry that he’d continued with his mistress after the two of you divorced;  you weren’t the jealous type, and frankly, you didn’t want to be with someone who threw away years of love and support for a woman who he’d known for less than six months. you missed your other half, you missed that comforting back hug after a long day at work and the affectionate ear nibbles while cuddling together. you missed the intimate moments, you missed having someone else in the house. you missed having emotional support, as well as a financial one. while hoseok seemingly frolicked with his younger, sexy girlfriend, you were in the studio all day to make sure your daughter has what she needs to have a healthy childhood without a father. and you weren’t even sure if you were doing it right.

   the idea of divorce will never be something a child can digest completely without having questions. hell, it’s not even something an adult can handle without asking questions. seyoung would often wonder out loud about why daddy was hanging out with a second mommy and why the two of you didn’t live with daddy anymore; why the two of you had to downsize and move away. embarrassingly enough, your daughter told her friends about how her parents live in separate houses, thinking it was impressive that she had two houses.  

   “great. yebin’s really been eager to see seyoung again. i think the two of them are really getting along nicely.” hoseok explained, making things worse in an attempt to break the ice.  

   “that’s great. i'm glad seyoung’s taking a liking to yebin.” oh, how you wanted to hiss that you hoped she wouldn’t replace you with yebin the way he did.  

   “you know, you’re reacting to this better than i thought you would,” he replied. bad move.

   “i don’t know how you want me to react, hoseok. maybe, it’s because i haven’t heard from you in three months.” you spat, angry that he even dared to say something like that. what did he mean? did he think you’d welcome yebin, his mistress, the woman he cheated on you with, with open arms? did he think you’d take a liking to yebin the way seyoung did? unfortunately, that’s not how infidels get treated. you two were a team, he randomly got up and joined the opposition, leaving you alone to play the game of life by yourself.

   “you’re right,” he admitted. “i should’ve called or text, but you know how my job is and—“

   “i'm sure if you had enough time to go clubbing with yebin you have enough time to spend two hours with your daughter. hoseok, i will support you in almost everything, but you need to be a part of seyoung's life — and seeing her once in a blue moon won’t leave a lasting memory of you in her childhood.”

he sighed. you could imagine him habitually rubbing his eyes with one hand before running it over his hair; he shakes his head when he doesn’t have anything left to say.  the muffled sound of a woman voice sounded from the other line, making you roll your eyes.  

   “i get what you’re saying. i... i need to go right now, but i promise we’ll come and see you guys soon. bye.” he completely shook off your conversation and it made you angry. how could he disregard something so important?

   “of course you do.” you muttered bitterly before the line went dead. fortunately for you, you’d just returned home, allowing you to frantically throw your groceries on the kitchen island and drown yourself in what sorrow he caused you.

   it had started off like a dream. the two of you had met in your third year of college, him a business and economics major and you a music production major with a minor in audio and sound engineering. you’d bumped into each other at a banal frat party — one neither of you really wanted to be at. he began boasting about his dog back at home, making you erupt in giggles and inch closer and closer towards him as the night grew older. the two of you eventually left the crowded house together, not going to someone’s place, but rather to a local noodle bar, the midnight empty tables and sentient music a great transition from the pounding music and lack of personal space of the party. he joked about how he was never amazing at talking to people, especially women, so he was surprised that you managed to stick around with him for this long — a new record, to quote him directly. his warm aura kept you snug from the cold night, and he eventually took you home, dropping you safely to your apartment. after that night was over, you began to notice him more and more on campus, like a bright color in a mellow painting.

   one day, out of the blue, he drunkenly confessed his feelings for you. ironically enough, the same people had hosted a party in the same frat house a year later. with his intoxicated body pressed up the wall next to you and the thought that you were someone else, he moaned about how much he likes you but you never seem to pick up on his advances. the days following sprouted conversation after conversation regarding relationships, and eventually, the two of you decided to date. you felt as if you were on the top of the world, as if there was nothing stopping you anymore. after you graduated, the two of you rented an apartment together and entered the job market, taking steps together. and, three years later, you asked him to marry you. right in the middle of pasta night, while you were watching the little mermaid together.

   he named seyoung. you can remember exactly when the two of you decided on her name; when you first held seyoung in your arms and the two of you gently admired her perfection. he kissed behind your ear and whispered, “seyoung. eternal.”

   the three of you were like the three musketeers, and life was a never-ending spiral of fun. you were happy, so happy that you were afraid it would go away. it was perfect: you’d wake up to your loving husband snoring softly beside you with your baby girl giggling happily in her crib, watching the spinning sheep on her crib mobile with glee. every single day, the same cycle, but somehow, your family taught you a new feeling of happiness each day.

   you hate this part. of course, all good things come to an end. they have to, because the bad is what reminds you how lucky you are to have the good. you’d thought life was great. seyoung was a very likable toddler according to her preschool teachers, hoseok had recently gotten a promotion, and your career finally felt like it was going somewhere. you’d recently been hired at bighit, working for their new group, txt.  

   it was around twelve in the morning. you’d gotten home late because your team had finished mapped txt’s first mini-album, the dream chapter: star. pulling your coat closer to your frame as you stepped towards your door, you prayed hoseok had put seyoung to sleep. you’d told him that you’d be coming home as late as three in the morning, not knowing exactly how long it would take to decide how many songs would make it onto the album, as some potential songs were songs meant for other groups that were eventually scrapped.  

   you entered quietly, the door creaking at your attempt to open it silently. you weren’t very observant of your surroundings; truthfully, you just wanted to kiss your baby’s forehead and collapse into your bed. kicking off your shoes, you placed your bag on the coffee table, sighing before trudging towards your shared bedroom. it hit you like bricks — you weren’t paying attention to any noises, you weren’t living a cliché romance movie scene, it was completely unexpected. when you pushed open your bedroom door, a nude woman, lean and visibly younger, was rolling her hips on top of your husband’s bare form. it had taken a second to even register: what’s going on? who is she? am i dreaming? yet your silent thoughts were proven wrong as her head turned in fear to see you standing there, silhouette in the doorframe. she swung her leg over hoseok, pulling on the covers as her body fell next to him on the bed. 

  that was your spot.

  hoseok sat up, eyes wide with fear. “(y/n)… i… this-” he scrambled, thousands of excuses flying through his mind as to why he was just caught hooking up with his assistant. someone you, for one, trusted.

   you, like him, were at a loss for words. your soul felt as though someone had ripped it from your chest and slammed it to the ground, trampling on it bitterly. you turned your head, seeing your baby girl sleeping soundly in her crib. one thing remained stable while your entire world came crashing down onto you, and it was her breathing, chest rising and falling rhythmically, eyes fluttering.

  you nearly slammed the door in fury, turning and sliding down against it, trying to catch your breath. you’d never faced this type of pain before, you didn’t know what to do. there was so much to lose and so little to gain.

   your mother had always taught you to not take any shit from anyone, especially not a man. you tuned out the begs and pleads and cries for you to stay with him and stood your ground on a divorce. ‘it won’t happen again’ has proven itself to be a white lie time and time again. you’d gained custody of your child, and hoseok gained all of the freedom the world could allow. it was as if he was young again.

   it’s not that life was all bad for you after the divorce; crown, the song you’d mainly produced with the help of others became a huge hit in korea, festering hundreds of millions of views and charting #1s worldwide. your company credited you along with a couple other coworkers as the reason for txt’s success in the west. and, as txt continued to grow in popularity, so did your paycheck. you were a wildly successful single mom, fearless on the outside, getting there on the inside.

   fast forward to now: you, single mother, barely getting by mentally, struggling with things your daughter is too young to understand. your husband, living a carefree life with his young mistress, the only connection between him and his ex-wife being his child support fund. you didn’t envy him, but you envied his happiness.

trying to kill time, a piece of toast hanging from your mouth, you opened your laptop, an email from seyoung’s teacher popping into your inbox. it read,  

“ hello parents of wonderful third graders! welcome to (or welcome back to) yooseong elementary!

               my name is mr. jeon jungkook, and i have the great honor of having your kids this year. i know that the school year has only recently started, but i’d love to get to know all of you soon! attached to this email are my parent hours along with the introduction handout i gave my students on friday, just in case any of your little stars misplaced it or haven’t shown it to you yet. i’d like for you to sign it and have your child turn it in on monday to ensure that we’re all on the same page! i hope all of you are just as excited for your child’s school year as i am.

               again, if any of you need to contact me for any reason, please shoot me an email at this address! i’ll respond as soon as i can.

thank you,

mr. jeon ”

   his enthusiasm made you smile. nothing comes before seyoung’s happiness, and if seyoung has a teacher which loves his job as much as you love her, that’s all the satisfaction you need. you’re glad, and somewhat relieved, that when you’re not around, seyoung is in great hands.

   quickly writing him back and thanking him for sending the handout seyoung has yet to show you, you closed the tab, scrolling through a news article about txt’s unfinished success story, refreshing your mind on what you already knew about the boys, and chuckling at what facts they got wrong. as you continued to read through the article, an advertisement on the sidebar caught your eye. now, normally, you’re not one to pay attention to them. you’re more of the type to frown at them and spam-click the ‘x’ in the corner until it eventually vanishes. this one was different.

   an advertisement for a singles support group, offering a place for your voice to be heard, and, well, support.

   you hesitated, wondering if you’d be paired with a group of adults with more emotional issues than time per session. reminding yourself of how hoseok’s actions combined with the consistent stress of your job and raising seyoung threatens your sanity on a day to day basis, you put that voice on mute, and promptly clicked away, this time clicking on the ad instead of the ‘x’.

   after all, anything for seyoung.

#kpop #bts #bts masterlist #bts series #bts au #bts oneshot #bts drabble #bts reactions #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #kpop icons #kpop masterlist #kpop bios #kpop rp #namjoon #seokjin #yoongi #hoseok #taehyung #jimin

[msmarvelwrites]

Vienna Waits

Summary: The reader has a hard time around the holidays because it brings up a lot of unhappy memories. Bucky knows trauma all too well and he’s always there to lend some Christmas cheer. 

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: mentions/flashbacks of assult, ptsd, 18+, swearing, but truly a fluff piece...

Word Count: 2.5k

Authors Note: Hi again! It’s ya girl, back at it again with the plot all to based on her own predicaments. Please read the warnings because the last thing I’d ever want to do is trigger anyone- but at it’s core I wrote this as an aid. Like My Girl, this was written to bring us together, because we are so much stronger that way! This is also my first submission to the Merry Hoemas Challange, so with that please enjoy! Sending love and light to all you beautiful holiday babies.

Thank you to @amythedvdhoarder  @chrissquares @drabblewithfrannybarnes @pumpkin-and-pine and @starlightcrystalline for hosting this holiday challange!

It was, of course, the most wonderful time of year. Christmas Eve at the Avengers Compound. 

The snow cascading from the dark sky acted as a sheet of white as you nervously sipped on your tea, checking the time once again. Your best friend was supposed to be back from his solo mission hours ago, and yet here you were, alone and completely overwhelmed. 

He was always better at these things. Always knowing how to avoid the holiday slump with ease. Bucky was who you turned to when you needed a quick coping mechanism. 

Christmas with the world's mightiest heroes had its perks for sure, but this was certainly not one of them. The joyous holiday music echoing through the Avenger hq living room was doing nothing to settle your nerves. In fact, quite the opposite. It lingered around you, pulling memories you buried deep down in the back of your mind. 

“I really think it’s better if I just head home… It’s getting really bad out there and…”

His lips cut you off, lazily trailing down your neck as the taste of bile rose into your throat. He was just drunk, you thought. So were you. You had given him the wrong idea. If you just explained you didn't want him to touch you… 

He would understand, you thought… You really did. 

“Honey, I’m home” Bucky called, cackling to himself as he shook off the snow caked to his winter coat. His voice shot you back into the dimly lit living room you now resided. 

You lunged from the recliner, spinning around the corner to find Bucky, hands full of gift bags and a candy cane dangling out of his mouth as a goofy grin tugged at the corner of his lips. 

“Where the hell have you been?” You tried to sound angry, but he was just so damn cute.

“Okay, first of all, you're welcome.” He scoffed sarcastically, gesturing to the gift bags as he placed them on the floor. “And second, you're the one who sent me out in the middle of a snowstorm for last minute christmas presents… So, you get what you get.” He chuckled. 

“No, no, I appreciate you- it… I appreciate it so much Buck.” You stumbled, though you didn't let the blush creep onto your cheeks before you spoke again, “You know how I get this time of year.” You sighed, crossing the room to help him with his bags of gifts. It wasn't lost on Bucky that the holiday season was difficult for a lot of the team, including yourself. Though he didn’t know everything about your past and how it brought you here, to the team, and one of the most ruthless fighters the Avengers had ever seen, he did know it was rough and dark and definitely off limits to talk about. Bucky didn't mind, however. As long as he had you by his side. 

“Ya know, if you help me wrap these gifts there might be a Christmas movie marathon in your future.” He wiggled his brows causing you to laugh. 

“That really sounds like a lose-lose on my end here, Buck.” you giggled.

“Are you by any chance at all into hot chocolate?” he bribed, though you would have caved regardless. Any time spent with Bucky was all you wanted for Christmas. 

Once all the presents were wrapped, Bucky was true to his word, puttering into the kitchen, whipping up his famous hot chocolate recipe. Honestly, if the world knew the famous Winter Soldier was as jolly was he is, they probably wouldn't believe it. Something about Christmas just brought out the best in him. 

“So,” You started as you sipped on your whip cream topped hot chocolate. “What is it about this holiday?” You pried, looking up at Bucky as he wiped a dollop of cream off the tip of your nose. 

“I don’t really know. Getting my memories back after all that time, Christmas with my Ma and sisters was always so clear…” He paused, his eyes fixing themselves on the floor. “I guess it’s one of the only really decent memories I have.” 

You only stared at Bucky for a moment as you let the words sink in. He never really spoke about his family and what, if anything he remembered. You never pushed him, thankful that he respected you the same. Though you had only been friends for a year now, those things just aren't privy to your relationship. 

“You never told me that before.” You finally spoke, watching as his eyes met with yours. 

“Yeah well, it’s hard to talk about sometimes. But… I don't know. I trust you, doll. More than anyone, I think. You kind of pull it outta’ me.” He sighed into that goofy smile you loved so much. You wanted to tell him that there was no one in this world that you trusted more, that you could and would be an open book for him, if that's what he wanted… But you supposed it went without saying. Instead, you rested you head on his shoulder, sinking back into the couch as you watched whatever sappy Christmas movie Bucky had picked out for you to watch. 

It wasn't long before the compound started to buzz with disembodied voices and echoing footsteps. A team was getting back tonight, and soon the living room would be filled with your friends booming laughter. 

You let your mind wander, tiptoeing into the darkest parts of your unconscious as the movie faded further and further away…

Your body shook, hard. You heard yourself plead, begging him to stop. Could feel the tears wet and hot as they rolled down your cheeks pooling onto your chest as he wiped them away. Such an act of kindness in such a nauseating scene. Your whole body ached with how hard you were trembling. So weak. You knew it, and now he did too-

Wanda was the first to round the corner, plopping herself down on the couch between you and Bucky, almost sitting right on your lap. 

“Good evening!” She chimed, resting her head against your shoulder in a complete and utter disregard of yours and Bucky’s closeness. Wanda was always the best at diffusing tension you hadn't even realised was there. Though now, as she sat there, it was very apparent that's exactly what it was. However you were thankful for her halting your train of thought. 

“Hello, darling.” Bucky chuckled as you wrapped your arms around her.

Tony rounded the corner next, snickering when he saw the three of you bundled up on the couch together. “Well, isn't that sweet. The trauma triplets are back together.” 

“Dont hate us cause’ you ain’t us, Tony.” You sang, watching as he rolled his eyes and puttered off to his lab. 

“So, any plans for this evening?” Wanda asked, grabbing your mug of hot chocolate without a second thought and taking a sip. 

“This is kind of it. Most of the team is back home with their family.” You explained, looking behind Wanda's head to Bucky, “Do you have any plans with Stevie?” You asked.

“Nope.” He popped the P. “Just us tonight. Steve’s out on a solo mission until tomorrow morning.” 

“About that… Nat is actually setting me up tonight. A double date, I think? So, it's just you guys tonight.” Wanda spoke sheepishly. 

Bucky and you both gapped at her before you finally spoke, “Traitor.” You glared while she only chuckled, shoving you playfully.  

“You guys will get along just fine without me. Just don’t watch The Holiday until I’m back! You guys know that’s my favourite”

As the compound quieted down for the night, you and Bucky fell into your daily routine of  comfortable silence. It was just like every other day, or at least that's what you tried to tell yourself as the end credits of another holiday movie started rolling onto the screen. 

“So,” Bucky finally spoke, shifting in his seat to reach for something out of your eyeline. “It’s technically christmas now… And, I know we said no gifts, but I saw this and it was just so you. I had to pick it up.”

Your eyes landed on the small velvet box in his hands, your breath hitching in your throat for a moment as your brain forze. You could feel your body trembling as he held it out, waiting for a reaction, but all you could do was stare. 

“Such a good little thing.” He finally spoke. Your eyes were so glazed over you couldn't quite tell where his voice was emulating from. You could hear his belt, feel his hands on either side of your face as he whispered in your ear. “Happy Christmas, baby.” He chided, dropping the small velvet box in your hands as he left the room. 

You couldn't bear to touch it, whipping it across the room as it shattered open, the small diamond necklace rolling across the hardwood floor as it tumbled to the ground with a harsh crack. Your fingers burned where the rough velvet had been, and you remembered thinking you'd feel this way forever. 

“Y/n?” Bucky spoke your name and it shocked you back to reality. You blinked at him, tears welling in your eyes as you stared at him. He looked absolutely terrified and it broke your heart. Absolutely tore you apart that you could ever be the reason for that face. 

“Hm? Oh, yes. I’m so sorry, I was so far away there for a moment.” You reached out but before you could take the small box, his hands covered your own and he let his thumb stroke your skin, sending a shiver up your arms and all around your neck. 

“You know I would never judge you, right?” He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. “God knows you've never judged me. I’m here. Whatever it is, it’s not your fault.” 

The words hit you like a ton of bricks. ‘Not your fault.’ Did he know? There was no possible way. You had Fury burn your physiatric evaluation from when you first started a year ago. No one knew. This was a fresh start, and there way no way that- 

“I can see your mind turning, and I just want to assure you, we are good. Okay? You and me, that's easy. It’s always been that way. Whenever you're ready, if you ever want to talk… I’m here, alright? Always.” His voice melted over you like a warm bath, calming you as you met his gaze. There was a sweetness you haven't seen before. It was new and yet there was something familiar about it. Had he always looked at you that way? Surely you would have remembered as it sent butterflies to explode in your stomach. 

He dropped the rectabled box in your hands and you finally felt the weight of it. Definitely heavier than a necklace, though you guess that wasn't really Bucky’s style anyways. 

You slowly clicked the box open, your eyes falling on the small black object resting on the pillow inside. 

“It’s a knife?” You spoke, just above a whisper as your hands traveled over the cool metal looking up at Bucky in surprise. 

Bucky chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he explained. “Remember that mission a year back? I think it was one of our firsts.” 

“Vienna.” You chimed, the memory coming back to you now. 

“You stole my knife.” He laughed, shaking his head at the memory. “I remember, I had it in my hand, you ran out of ammo and in a flash it was in your hands. Those Hydra punks didn't see you coming. God, doll. That had to be the hottest-” He blushed, clearing his throat, “I mean, that was the coolest thing I've ever seen. Been trying to find you one like it ever since.”

“Oh, Buck.” You signed, gripping the knife in your hands and effortlessly flipping it through your fingers as it sparkled in the dim lighting. 

“Do you like it?” He hummed. 

“Like it? I absolutely love it… I feel like such an ass for not getting you anything.” You confessed, averting your eyes to the floor. 

You flinched as Bucky’s cool metal fingers tipped your head up, and he tried not to notice, though the reaction wasn't lost on him. He really didn't know about your past, but trauma knew trauma. 

“Darling, this…” He motioned to you, “This is all I need for Christmas.” His voice was like honey in tea, warm and sweet and so smooth. 

“You flirt.” You giggled, shoving him playfully as you placed the knife back in its box and resting it on the coffee table.  

“I would never.” He sarcastically gasped, causing you to laugh at his dramatics. Bucky wasn't truly himself around the others, but you wished sometimes they could see his goofy side. Though it warmed your heart he reserved it for you. 

“What do you say? One more movie before we call it a night?” You asked, relaxing into his shoulder as you clicked through the options. Bucky’s silence caught your attention, pulling you back to his gaze. He stared at you as if startled by your words. 

“What?” You chuckled nervously, raising a brow when he didn't speak. 

“You're willinging requesting we watch a Christmas movie? Are you feeling okay?” He jested, lifting his flesh palm to your forehead as if to check your temperature. You swatted him away, rolling your eyes as you did so. 

“I’m fine. I just…” You watch him carefully as his laughter faded and he focused on you. “I never really thought I could enjoy Christmas. Someone stole that luxury away from me a very long time ago, but with you… With you it comes so easy. I know it must be hard, but you never let it show. I honestly can't tell you the last time I’ve properly laughed like that during the holidays. God, it's been years and yet here we are. You just pull it out of me.” 

Bucky smiled softly, holding his hands out for yours and you quickly accepted the gesture. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he grinned pulling you into his chest as he hugged you. It was something that was very new, and yet just felt right. Like this was how your bodies were meant to be, fit together like puzzle pieces. 

“Doll, I’ll pull it out for you whenever you want.” He cooed, sarcasm lacing his words and your head fell back, laughter bubbling out of your chest. 

“God, I love you.” You finally got out, but as soon as the words left your lips you knew how impulsive you had been. Bucky stilled beside you but you kept your eyes trained on the ceiling above, terrified to meet his gaze. It wasn't a big deal, just two friends admiring each other. You knew, however if you were honest it was much more than that. Bucky felt it too. 

“Darling,” He murmured, so low you almost didn’t hear him. Your eyes slowly returned to his as your heart nearly jumped from your chest. “You’ve had me wrapped around your finger since Vienna. You’re it for me. Always have been, I think.” 

You stared at him for a moment, unsure of where your voice went as your mouth ran dry. 

“As if I even need to say it, I love you too.” 

Divider made by the wonderful @chrissquares 

Thank you 3000 to my amazing friends @cutie1365 and @sweeterthanthis for their endless support and constant grammatical corrections. I’d be forever dyslexic without you guys... (I kind of will I think, but ya’ll make it a hell of a lot easier on me)

Taglist:

@sweeterthanthis​@cutie1365 @whateveriwant @drabblewithfrannybarnes @amythedvdhoarder @chrissquares @pumpkin-and-pine @starlightcrystalline @kalesrebellion @projectcampbell @calwitch @sycochick @sassy-pelican @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ @amateuratheart @officialmarvelbaby @a-really-bi-girl @fairislesheets

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barns imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes reader #bucky holiday challange #marvel holiday challange #merryhoemas #marvel fanfiction #msmarvelwrites #viennawaits #marvel fluff #bucky fluff #bucky angst

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: October 2021

The spooky month! Not a lot of Halloween media consumption but still lots of stuff to recommend.

……….FILM……….

Return of the Living Dead (1985) Just fantastic. I don’t understand why there aren’t more horror comedies these days as I think the scary stuff hits harder when paired with some levity (as compared to the strictly serious/grim stuff). It almost feels like a parody of the 80s and I really respect that ending. Gosh movies sure are different now, aren’t they?

……….TELEVISION……….

The Bachelorette (Episode 18.01 to 18.02) A great start to the season. Lots of fun guys and Michelle is an excellent lead. I really hope they keep Tayshia and Kaitlyn as the Bachelorette hosts forever.

Bachelor in Paradise Canada (Episode 1.01 to 1.03) I was skeptical about this and while the cast is a little smaller, I’m digging the change of location (plus the theme song is just the best choice).

The White Lotus (Episode 1.01 to 1.06) I’m...not sure I liked this. I mean it was gripping television and a really stellar cast/plot/location, but it wasn’t fun? Maybe it’s just the ending that really left a pit in my stomach. Ooof.

LuLaRich (Episode 1.01 to 1.04) We actually watched this at the end of September but somehow I forgot this amazing docuseries! It’s such an interesting study of MLMs, pyramid schemes, and how folks suddenly find themselves knee-deep in them!  Also the duo at the top of this particular pyramid are...just wild.

Only Murders in the Building (Episode 1.01 to 1.10) Fun and silly and surprisingly good chemistry between the three leads. I wonder if it’ll hold up with a rewatch as I found the mystery elements to click better than the comedic ones.

Ted Lasso (Episode 2.11 to 2.12) Really excellent. Just...really really great. I look forward to rewatching the season without the add on eps (Christmas and Beard’s solo outing) to see how the entire season’s plot ties together. But gosh what a charming and sincere series of television.

Bachelor in Paradise (Episode 7.11) I mean how can you complain with an ending like that? Freeze-frame updates on all the couples and prominent cast members? Yes please.

Marvel’s What If… (Episode 1.09) This series started off being a really novel concept with stellar animation. After the last two episodes, I’d say it ended simply being a feature of fantastic animation. Well written but a very similar structure to Phase 1 or 2 of the movies.

……….READING……….

Who Censored Roger Rabbit? by Gary Wolf (Complete) Different enough from the film (in a lot of ways!) that it felt like a wholly unique experience. I’m not sure i liked it as well, but it was really interesting to see the source material for one of my favourite movies. Your mileage will vary.

Soul Music by Terry Pratchett  (Complete) Part of what I love about Pratchett is that the story’s structure will be so clear that you know where it’s going yet the fun is seeing how it gets there. Consistently funny and full of fun musical easter eggs. I wish there was more Death in it but his granddaughter, Susan, is a fun addition to the mythos.

Head Lopper, Volume 4: Head Lopper & the Quest for Mulgrid’s Stair by Andrew Maclean and Jordie Bellaire (Complete) The story seems to be heading towards one big culmination and there’s a lot of exposition in this one. I tend to prefer episodic adventures over serialized quests but that’s just me. And dang if the art isn’t some of the most fun I’ve seen lately! Oof so good.

……….AUDIO……….

The Dropout (Podcast) This podcast covers the Theranos scandal and season 2 is following Elizabeth Holmes’ court case. The whole thing stinks of hubris and a blatant disregard for humanity by the tech sector and it’s...just so infuriating. Totally worth the listen.

……….GAMING……….

Metroid Dread (Nintendo) Gosh it’s good to be back in the world of side-scrolling Metroid. I’m still not sure i have a feel for the controls but the tone and atmosphere are just stellar. I wasn’t sure I’d get into the 3D graphics but I was quickly proven wrong.

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Forthcoming, Andrews McMeel Publishing) So I’ve been playtesting my next TTRPG setting with my weekly group and it’s been a lot of fun! A better recap is over here on Reddit.

And that’s it! As always, let me know if you have any recommendations and happy Sunday!

#Monthly Media #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb