#and rationally i should be asleep at the moment because sleep is so so necessary right now but that’s the one thing I’m really struggling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

callsigndragon · 1 year

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Desperate times, desperate measures | ch. 7: It's all about the money

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: these two *talk*, parents beign absolute assholes, feelings, cuteness, fluff and a bit of angst as always.

A/N: i will introduce a new character in the next chapter, i just need to find the face claim. Initially, Michael B. Jordan was supposed to be a doctor, as in the movie, but as i planned the whole thing, the doctor made less and less sense... so now I need to find a face claim for an actor who will work with Page!

It's okay if you like it and all, but please... a comment is also welcomed and if you reblog it? I'll kiss you on the forehead.

If you want to be added, comment down!

When you wake up the next morning, Jake is still in bed, his soft snores leaving his body through parted lips. You could take this moment as an advantage, run towards Emma’s room, and busy yourself to avoid the necessary talk that awaits you. But running away from the problems is not the best solution.

You’ll have to face it sooner or later.

The thing is, whatever the hell almost happened last night, it felt good. It’s weird, it’s rare and new, and you don’t want to dive in head first just yet. Not when there’s so much at risk. Not when you two have a baby to take care of. Maybe you can tell Jake how you feel about it, and he won’t feel like you’re rejecting him. He really seemed interested in exploring this feeling that arose between the two of you last night, but you had fallen asleep by the time he came back. Not on purpose, though. You were tired of all the activities of the day.

“I thought you’d run away,” Jake mutters, eyes half open and voice hoarse and heavy due to the sleep. He stirs awake, the movement making the blanket fall from his chest and leaving his golden chest exposed to the morning sunlight entering through the window.

“It wouldn’t be fair to you, right?” You question, more to yourself than to him, while sitting on the bed with your legs crossed under you. “Can we…talk?”

Jake sighs, covering his face with his hands before sitting up and mimicking your posture. “Page, if you’re going to dump my ass, just be quick. I can take it.”

You shake your head, catching his attention. “I don’t want to dump your ass, Jake. It doesn’t mean that I want to change our whole relationship just because of one kiss.”

He nods, looking at his hands. “Yeah, you’re right. We should talk about it first. See what it meant to us? And how we feel.” The surprise in your face must be quite evident because he rolls his eyes and grabs a pillow that he throws at your head. “What? I can be rational too, you know.”

“Don’t throw me a pillow, cowboy.” You warn him, sliding your hand from your lap to the pillow resting on your side.

“What are you gonna do, darling?"

"Hit you with a pillow." You say it matter-of-factly, raising the pillow over your head. Jake jumps off the bed and throws himself to the floor, along with the rest of the cushions that were over the bed last night.

"You shouldn't announce your movements to the enemy." He looks at you, smirking like a hunter does when he has finally cornered his prey.

“Enemy?” You huff, moving slowly backwards. “I thought we were a team!”

“There’s no team in the pillow fight, Page. You should know that.” and before you even have time to answer, he's throwing all the other pillows your way, some of them—if not all—landing on your head.

You raise your hands in surrender and only look at him when you hear him chuckle. "I give up."

"I'll spare your life, then." Neither of you move from your spots. Not even an inch. You stay there, sitting on the floor and looking at each other, hundreds of unsaid words floating in the air between you. "I don't want us to fake that this didn't happen, Page."

You place your arms on the mattress, needing to touch something that grounds you and assures you that this isn't a dream. Not only are you having a proper conversation with him, but he's also confessing his desire to pursue these feelings that you two seem to have for each other.

It feels like a scene from one of your books.

"We have Emma, Jake. This decision isn't about us anymore."

"Emma deserves to have parents that like each other." Well, he's right on that.

"And what do you think it is that we deserve, Jake?" You ask him, wanting to know what he truly thinks.

You can see the corner of his lip twitching as he tries to conceal a smile. "We deserve to know what would have happened if I hadn't made that call."

You smile softly, looking at your hands. The same ones that ache for touching his bare chest. "Maybe it was meant to happen, you know. Call it destiny."

"I don't believe in destiny, darling," he retorts, getting up from the floor and walking towards you, offering you a hand to help you stand up. "But I do believe that we can make this work."

Once you're back on two feet, you look at him, finding solace in his emerald eyes. "This doesn't even have a name."

"You're a writer, I'm sure you'll find a word for it." He mumbles, caressing your cheek and getting lost in the intensity of your eyes. He always loved them. "Can I kiss you to seal the deal?"

You chuckle, moving your hands to rest on his shoulders. "You have been reading too many fairy tales lately."

"Yeah, maybe it's time to start writing my own." He places his hands on your hips, bringing you closer, and leans down to press his lips against your soft ones. This kiss is different from the one you shared the night before.

It's soft, sweet, and tender. And yet, it also leaves you craving for more.

Jake's whole existence makes you crave more than you have.

After a few seconds, he pulls away, licking his lips and smiling like he just won the biggest prize at the carnival. "I liked that."

"Me too." You admit while your fingertips find their way to his neck, playing with the soft and short hairs that have been growing since he started his paternal leave. "Let's not rush it, please. It would only fuck things up, and we still have many months ahead of us…"

He nods, kissing your forehead sweetly. "I'll try my best."

You hear movement in the other room, letting you know that Emma is up and ready to start a new day. "Looks like the princess woke up."

"Wait, if she's a princess, what are you? A king?" You laugh, feeling empty, when he moves away to go get Emma.

"I'm just a peasant amazed by the presence of a princess and the beautiful queen." He says before disappearing through the door and making you smile when he uses his sweetest voice to say hi to the little girl.

Jake and Emma are sitting on a blanket in the grass at the back of the house hours later while you answer your emails when Olivia comes out giving you an iced tea.

"Oh, thank you, Olivia. You didn’t have to!" She's been a sweetheart all day, and you think that maybe the initial awkwardness between Jake's family and you is over. "I didn't ask about your show. Was it good?"

"I didn't watch it in the end," she says, sighing and sitting down next to you. "I lost track of time talking with my husband."

"Oh, dear. I hope you get to see the chapter soon."

"I hope so."

The conversation ends there, and you keep answering your emails. You don't realize until a few minutes later that Olivia is still sitting there, but she's looking at the screen with gossiping intentions. "It's work stuff, you know."

"Oh, yeah, that I gathered."

Isn't she even a bit ashamed of having been caught snooping on someone's else's business? It doesn't seem like that, because she doesn't tear her eyes away from the screen even after being subtly called out. "Oh, you're gonna be an actress now?"

You let out an incredulous sigh before answering. "Yeah, but I'm sure you know that already after… reading the whole mail."

"We're family now! Your mail is my mail." She says with a gleeful expression that doesn't go well with the situation.

"I don't think this works like that." You mutter, sending the email and closing the laptop before she can start reading another email that doesn't have to do anything with her.

"A movie is a big opportunity, isn't it?" Olivia questions, taking a sip of her tea.

"It's what I wanted to do before becoming a writer." You answer her as politely as you can, looking in Jake's direction and hoping that he gets to look your way and see your expression.

"But you earn more money selling books, right?" She asks again, trying to learn more about the topic. Is she that interested in knowing how much money you earn?

“I don’t sell books, Olivia. I write them.”

She shakes her hand, waving it off. “You know what I mean.”

“Can I ask why are you so interested in my… net worth?”

She blinks, as if asking her that question surprises her. “Oh, I just want to know if you’ll have money to raise Emma alone once Jake gets tired of you.”

You stare into the distance for a solid thirty seconds before turning your whole body in your seat and looking at her. “Excuse me?”

“Come on, dear. It’s evident that he just married you to prove something to us. He needed someone to date. He found you and the kid and saw a chance.”

You rise to your feet, making yourself big in front of her and trying to look intimidating. “Mrs. Seresin, your son and I knew each other way before you and your husband threw him an engagement ring and forced him to get engaged to someone he didn’t love.”

Olivia scoffs, getting up from the chair, and showing in her face the same feelings that made you want to run away yesterday. “Honey, please. Don’t try to make yourself important. You’re just another pussy in my son’s dating history book.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You question her, tired of her antics and how she’s objectifying you. Your voice makes it to Jake’s ears, because as soon as the words leave your mouth, he’s walking in your direction with Emma in his arms.

“Everything alright, ladies?” He asks it in plural, including his mother, but he only looks at you, worried about the possible absurdities that his mother could have said to you.

“Oh, I don’t deserve that title, Jake. I’m just another pussy.” You repeat Olivia’s words, making her face go red. Now she’s getting embarrassed?

“You did not say that to Page, right?” Jake asks, stepping closer to her. “Right?”

Olivia throws the glass of ice tea to the floor, broken glass and ice cubes scattering all over the wooden floor of the patio. “And what if I did? She’s the reason why we’re going to lose the ranch! You decided to marry a famous whore rather than fulfill your duty as a son!”

“Don’t talk about her like that, mother.” Jake warns her, raising his tone and making Emma cry a bit. She must be scared. “I didn’t want to marry someone I didn’t love, I told you.”

“We all have to marry someone we don’t love, son. Look at me and your father!”

“Yeah, and how did that go? You hate him and us so much that you can’t even hang family pictures on the fucking walls. You hate your family!”

“But at least I did what I was supposed to do!” Olivia is yelling at this point, making Emma cry out in fear.

“I don’t want to form a family and hate my kids. I deserve better than that.”

Joe walks out of the house, looking between all of you to see what is going on. “Can you stop the yelling? I can’t hear the fucking TV.”

“Joe, can you tell your stupid son that he has to marry the Willer girl?” She keeps raising her voice, and it’s giving you a headache. You’re really close to slapping her. He just called Jake stupid, in front of you. She doesn’t care a bit about him.

“You don’t even know her name.” Jake shakes his head in disbelief, and you can see how his heart breaks a bit more every second he keeps talking to them. He manages to soothe Emma, and she grabs his shirt in between her tiny fists.

“I don’t need to know her fucking name because you won’t marry her! You only had one job, Jacob. You were supposed to inherit the ranch, but no, you had to go play the little soldier in the fucking plane!” Olivia is totally unhinged at this point, and you’re tired of her shit.

“I would fucking appreciate it if you stopped talking about my husband like that.” You grab your bag that had been resting on the table next to you and rummage through it until you find the checkbook that you always carry around but don’t really use. “You want money? Is that why you were so interested in how much I gained as a writer? Say your number.”

"Mom, you did what?” Jake shakes his head and places a hand over yours. “Please, Page. You don’t have to pay her anything.”

“Jake, it’s nothing, I promise. I just want you to get rid of them.” You whisper, squeezing his hand.

“Get rid of us? He should get rid of this fucking who—” Joe starts the sentence, but he stops halfway through it when Jake glares at him.

“I’ve been waiting to punch you in the face since I was six. Give me a reason.”

“Your number.” You repeat, looking only at Olivia.

“750k.” She smirks, raising an eyebrow, seemingly thinking that you don’t have that amount of money.

Little does she know that writing romance novels is more profitable than she thinks. You open your pen, swallowing a bit after you realize that this pen was Anne’s gift after you published your first novel. Seems like she’s still there for the important moments.

You write down the amount she asked for, sign it, and before you give it to her, you take a step in her direction, raising a finger. “There’s a condition, though.”

“What now?” She says, rolling her eyes.

“If you talk shit about Jake one more time, I will come back, buy this fucking dunghill, and destroy everything you have fought so hard to keep.” You simply say, not raising your voice, and being as calm as you can. You’re not going to give them the satisfaction of looking affected by their actions in front of them. “Am I clear?”

“Yes, now give me that fucking check.” Olivia mutters, not looking at you, her eyes fixed on the small piece of paper that put an end to all her problems.

“If you grab that check,” Jake says, standing next to you, “you can forget that you have a son.”

She raises an eyebrow, takes the check between her hands, and looks at him with scorn. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

You place a hand on the back of Jake’s arm, grab your purse and your laptop, and move him inside the house. “Let’s get our things and leave this place.”

“Page… I can’t return that money.” He whispers to Jake when you get to your room, looking embarrassed due to all this situation.

You grab his face between your hands, making him look at him. “Honey, you don’t need to pay me back, okay? There’s no need to. I feel bad, though.”

“Why?” He asks while packing the few little things you used this morning.

“I kind of feel like I bought your freedom, you know? I just... I couldn’t stand there and see how they were treating you and how this wasn’t going to end once we were gone.” You rant while sitting down, watching as Jake takes a place next to you.

“... would you be mad if I said my brain didn’t register anything after you said “my husband”?” He admits sheepishly looking at his hands.

You snort at his confession. “Really, Jake?”

“What? It was hot, okay?”

“Did I make you horny, baby?” You joke, getting up from the bed and closing the suitcase.

“Oh, yes, you did.”

He grabs the two suitcases while you carry Emma in your arms. “And you were supposed to be celibate for a year?”

“I swore fidelity, right?” He winks at you, trying to make things a bit easier. “I never said anything about us not doing things.”

“Cheeky bastard.”

You’re out of that ranch in fifteen minutes, not wanting to waste a single moment more there. They had what they always wanted. Maybe Jake would be able to live his life without having to worry about them.

On the way home, you two finish posting the pictures on Instagram—the ones that will make your relationship public and that will let you know not only to the world but to social services as well—that you two are in a serious, loving, and real relationship.

Now, the only thing you have to worry about is this new relationship that you two seem to be entering.

The instagrams

@halibshepherd

@mygyn

@the-romanian-is-bae

@justanothermagicalsara

@drakelover78

@celestialeviereads

@averyhotchner

@ravenhood2792

@potato-girl99981

@callsign-sunshine

@purplevortexx

@novastories

@luvrrish

@footprintsinthesxnd

@nikfigueiredo

@allivingstone01

@violyn20

@lunamoonbby

@dempy

@hangmandruigandmav

@shanimallina87

@tomanybandstolove

@inesdiary96

@phoenix1388

@jynxmirage

@crthurston

@fandom-life-12

@atarmychick007

@mayhemmanaged

@twsssmlmaa

@meigalibrary

@eugene-emt-roe

@startrekfangirl2233

@topgunslut

@clancycucumber230

@books-are-escapes

@mavrellover91

@soulmates8

@xoxabs88xox

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@iammirrorball

@chaoticassidy

@alana4610

@xstellakx

#top gun maverick #top gun x reader #top gun maverick fanfic #top gun fanfiction #hangman x reader #jake hangman x reader #hangman seresin #hangman imagine #top gun #jake hangman fic #jake hangman x fem!reader #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #hangman x you #top gun hangman #jake 'hangman' seresin #hangman fluff #hangman fanfiction #hangman top gun

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soldmysoultootomeboys · 3 years

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Cuddling with the Brothers

why were some of these so hard to write it felt like pulling teeth omg i'm so sorry Mammon, I couldn't think of anything for you ﾟ(*´□`)ﾟ

Lucifer

A rather tricky demon to sleep on and one that requires immense planning

First of all it has to be private, otherwise expect to wake up alone with only his coat thrown over you.

His room or his study would be the best place to start. And that's what you had originally intended, that is until you hear the solemn notes of a piano echoing through the halls

Having only gotten up for a midnight snack you take a detour wandering past the kitchen until you reach the music room where Lucifer sits playing a somber tune

It's one you don't recognize, but it feels familiar nonetheless

His playing doesn't break in the slightest when he asks you to come in and you wonder how long he knew you were there

You do as he says, sitting down on the great long bench and watching his fingers dance along the keys. It's cold, having only expected to be out for a moment you're only wearing your pajamas

Lucifer says nothing when you huddle closer, resting your head on his shoulder, even though it must be constricting his playing. But he relaxes at your touch

And slowly you fall asleep, to the lullaby of piano and the gleam of stars far above you

Mammon

Like Lucifer he requires some planning, if only because he absolutely melts the moment you try to hold him

As an absolute sucker for cuddles he would be more than happy to be held at any time if not for the fact that he's also a complete tsundere

But with a little effort and a bit of bribery in the form of his recently revoked Goldie (Thanks Lucifer!) you are finally able to get him to sit still

He looks so embarrassed, fidgeting with his shirt and avoiding your eyes but when you finally go to hold him he just melts

Just be prepared for the puddle of cuddly demon that does not want to share you with any of his brothers

Levi

Levi’s labyrinth of a room was something you questioned constantly, filled with all sorts of curious things from sacred treasures (i.e, figurines) to old tombs (manga). However there was something that you knew for a fact, and that was that Levi slept in a tub.

Why? Was it comfortable? Did it hold some weird secret that would explain Levi’s behavior? You had to know.

So you do what any sane rational human would do when living in a house full of demons. You sneak into his room.

Levi was supposed to be out today for the new release of one of his video games.

You peek inside making sure the coast is clear before shutting the door. Inside the bathtub is a mess of blankets plus a full body pillow with a picture of the famed Ruri on it. At the very least it seemed somewhat comfortable.

Time to try out this new bed.

With nothing left to lose you bodily fling yourself over the side landing with a soft whump into the cocoon of pillows.

Immediately the sheets begin to move under you, limbs flailing for purchase and a familiar face pops up from beneath the covers. When Levi sees you he turns bright red, a flustered expression replacing the confusion on his face.

But if anything his thrashing becomes even more panicked. You roll to the side accidentally pinning him under you and he freezes.

“Mc what are you doing here???!”

When you finally explain he looks disappointed

Of course this was just a mistake you didn't want to see a stupid otaku like him

Before he could continue his rant you wrap your arms around his chest

“I guess this is fine.” He mutters still refusing to look at you.

With your new partner secured you’re free to nap as you please

Asmo

He has the BEST bed

Of course you want to get your nap on in his room

The problem is how to do it without implying something more

Knowing Asmo if you tell him you want to sleep on his bed he'll show up au natural which is not something you want to see when you're trying to take a nap, gorgeous skin or not

You decide to sneak in when he goes for one of his shopping trips

Once you actually lie down all your suspicions are confirmed

Asmos bed is amazing

Feather soft and absolutely covered in pillows you feel like you're in a cloud

You're almost asleep when you're awakened by an ear shattering squeal

If you wanted to sleep with him you should have just said so!

Asmo throws himself at you talking of all the "fun" things the two of you could do in his room

Like Levi the best option at this point is to just smush his body with your own, just make sure not to mess with his hair

It might seem counterproductive but pinning him down limits how much he can actually touch and after a few flirtatious comments made by yours truly he'll settle down enough for you to drift back to sleep, now with a new cuddle partner

Expect to wake up to a million new devilgram pictures of you two in bed and an angry Mammon banging on the door

Satan

The hard part is figuring how to do it without him getting mad.

You decide best time to do it is when he's reading or watching a drama as he probably won't move, as long as you don't obstruct his view. It takes a while to actually catch him like this. The man paces.

When you finally do see him in his chair you flop onto him curling on his lap.

He's more amused than angry.

“What are you doing mc?”

“Taking a nap :)”

After that he lets you be.

Satan is a surprisingly good nap partner. No one bugs you since most of the other brothers are too afraid of his wrath making it a good place to go if you want some peace and quiet.

You do notice that he starts sitting down more once you join him. It's more common for him to be already sprawled across a chair with a book in one hand.

It's fun for exactly as long as it takes Satan to get angry at one of his dramas and accidentally yeet you across the room.

He'll apologize but it might be time for you to get a different perch.

Beel

Beel uses the cat rules

If you lay on him he will not move unless absolutely necessary. It could take a direct order from Lucifer to make him budge

But if he really has to go he's taking you with him. Holding you carefully so he doesn't jostle you he'll walk around with you in his arms until you decide to wake up

He will try so hard not to get crumbs in your hair and he mostly succeeds

but at one point he does drip guacamole down the side of your comatose face

Freaks out but it's okay because he uses a chip to scoop it back up and everything

what you don't know doesn't hurt you

lets just hope you don't notice the strange sticky spot on the corner of your cheek

Belphie

The king of naps

Sleeping with him ensures good dreams and deep sleep

It's not hard to find him passed out somewhere and if you flop onto him the most he'll do is give a sleep grumble before throwing his arms over you and burying into your chest.

Just don't expect to get up any time soon

If worst comes to worst Beel is more than willing to carry both of you wherever you need to go

on the rare cases where he's awake and your not he will see how many of Beel's snacks he can stack on your head before you wake up

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me mc #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me belphie #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me satan #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #headcanons #obey me headcanons #imagines

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calif0rnia-lovers · 3 years

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#1: the proposal | plan b.

pairing: angel reyes x black!reader | chapter rating: 💙

total # of parts in series: 10

join my gc for updates since tags are acting weird

I keep falling for boys and mistaking them for men

series sum: After several failed relationships, you decide that you’re over waiting for Mr. Right to come around and help start a family. In a drunken ramble, you ask your best friend if he’ll be your donor. You didn’t expect him to say yes. As you and Angel enter uncharted waters, you both realize neither of you fully thought the initial proposal through.

words: 1.8 K

What is it they say…hope breeds eternal misery.

Or, as Angel Reyes likes to say, “I don’t know why you’re wasting time on that asshole.”

Asshole is the nicest term you can dub your boyfriend--correction, your ex-boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend.

It’s strange how quickly two letters--a simple prefix--can change your life.

One minute, you’re joining your boyfriend and his family on a getaway to the beach. The next, you’re being kindly escorted out of a restaurant for tossing a drink in his face.

When you’d left Santo Padre Friday afternoon, you had a single thought in your mind. He’s finally going to propose. The nervous behavior, the talks about moving to a bigger apartment, him inviting you to a weekend getaway with his family.

How else would a rational person explain this behavior?

Well, according to Michael, all of those things do not add up to a proposal. They add up to “softening the blow."

As you sit on the curb waiting for your uber, with Michael's big splurge of the evening in hand--a bottle of Cabernet, you realize his explanation was complete bullshit. How is dragging you to Santa Monica for the weekend "softening the blow?" If he was going to break up with you, he could have done it in Santo Padre.

As you double-check the ETA on your uber, you remember.

Michael didn't drag you to Santa Monica to break up with you. He dragged you to Santa Monica to ask you to "take a break."

Apparently, there's a difference.

As Michael put it, with his birthday fast approaching, he'd had an epiphany. He needed time to "get out there" and "explore" his options.

"We're in our thirties," he'd explained. "We only have a few years left before we're expected to settle down, have kids. I think we should take this time to get everything out of our system, so by the time we come back together, we're ready to start that family you're always talking about."

The nervousness you'd seen the past two weeks? Had nothing to do with hiding a ring, or trying to find the perfect opportunity to pop the question. The nervousness was Michael trying to find the right time to ask you not to renew the lease of the apartment, you share, at the end of the month.

The talk about upgrading to a bigger apartment? Had nothing to do with having an extra room for the kid you've both talked about having. It was so that he could move in with his two best friends.

Michael’s epiphany left you in shock. You were caught between realizing the entire revelation wasn’t a complete joke and realizing you were expected to ride home with his family in the morning. The drink tossing didn’t come until Michael rubbed his hands together, a knowing smile sliding onto his face.

Taking your shocked silence as a lack of protest to his idea, Michael nodded over his shoulder. “You wanna head back up to the room...have some fun our last night together?”

The weight of Samantha--wait. No. Savanna...Sabrina? No, Salena.

The weight of Salena’s body presses Angel into the mattress. Her body is nearly directly on top of his, her face nuzzled into the warmth of his neck.

He’s not used to women sleeping over. Angel has one rule. He wants to sleep alone. Translation, be gone when he wakes in the morning.

That’s why, when he wakes to the sound of a slamming door, Angel is pissed.

His initial thought is that Salena let the door slam on her way out. The only problem is, Salena is still in bed with him--sleeping soundly. If she wasn’t, he would have been up able to react quicker. Because if it’s not Salena leaving, it means that someone is coming in.

“You need to go,” Angel mumbles as he manages to escape her grip.

Salena responds by rolling over and ignoring his request.

When he leaves his bedroom, Angel finds his entire house in darkness. His hand runs down his face as your voice fills the air.

"Ow--shit!" Your keys and purse fall to the floor as you bump into the coffee table.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

“What are you doing?” You counter the slurring of your speech causing Angel’s head to shake. “...standing in the dark like a fucking creep.”

“Are you drunk?”

Your head shakes. Even if half-asleep, Angel knows you’re not drunk. You’re hammered, at least by your standards. He’s known you long enough to realize you’re a lightweight. A two and a half-hour ride with a bottle of Cabernet meant you were well past your limit.

“And why are you back early--did you drive here?”

“No,” you scoff. “I took an uber obviously--”

A second trip into the coffee table silences the rest of your response.

“Alright, come on--” Angel takes your hand in his, preventing you from falling forward.

“I don’t need your help.” Yanking your hand free of his grip--with more force than necessary--you stumble backward. Between the late hour and his body still attempting to shake off its grogginess, the action is too fast for Angel to predict. “Or any man’s help for that matter...fucking men--always thinking they need to save me--”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you--and fucking...fucking Michael--that piece of shit...” Despite your previous attempt to escape him, you turn on your heels causing Angel to bump into you. Instinctively, his hands find your waist. An innocent attempt to help maintain your balance. “--I said I don’t need help walking, Angel--”

“Clearly.” The smirk on his lips narrows your eyes.

The pathetic attempt of a shove you apply to his chest is enough to tip your already unsteady balance.

In his defense, Angel isn’t used to “rescuing” you from a drunk faceplant. Usually, the roles are reversed.

It may not be the smartest move, but it’s the quickest way to prevent another one of your escape attempts. Angel tightens his grip on your waist, pulling a small yelp from your lips as he lifts you off the ground throwing you over his shoulder.

The sudden shift in your posture blurs your vision--sending the room spinning. The rush of blood to your head causes your palm to come down hard in frustration against Angel’s back.

“Put me down…” Angel’s head shakes as your slurred speech trails off for a moment. Seizing the break in your resistance, he carries you across the darkened room towards the security of the sofa. “...what the hell are you doing in my house anyway?”

“This is my house.” Angel huffs as he lowers you onto the sofa. “If you get up, I’m not stopping you. I'm serious, I'll let you bust your ass this time.”

But moving from the sofa has already left your mind. Instead, your focus has drifted. Scanning the living room as Angel disappears. Despite his words, you're still not sure why you've ended up at his house and not yours.

“Here drink this,” Angel sighs as he returns. He hopes the glass of water will miraculously sober you up. Between failing to kick Salena out, and you showing up drunk at 3 in the morning, Angel is considering giving up women. At least for a few hours.

Angel’s steps come to a slow halt as he rounds the sofa to find you gone. Somehow, in the time it took him to fill a glass with water, you have slid down to the floor. Your back against the sofa, you’ve given up the impossible task of unfastening your heels. Instead, you’re tugging at them. Groans of frustration fill the air once the heels remain in place.

The shaky breaths and trembling of your fingers widen Angel’s eyes.

“Shit--are you crying?”

“I’m not crying.” The shaking of your head only seems to push the tears out faster. The blurring of your vision makes the task at hand impossible. “I’m not crying.”

“My bad, you’re not crying,” Angel repeats, hopeful it’ll make the crying stop. Handling a crying woman is not his strongest suit. In fact, he tries to avoid crying women at all costs. He focuses on the easier task of removing your heels. He offers you an encouraging smile once he’s done. “See, you’re all good.”

“No, I’m not.” Reaching forward, you grab the nearest heel, launching it as hard as you can. “Michael got me these.”

You manage to grab the second heel before Angel can. You launch it in the same direction as the first.

“I’ve always hated those ugly fucking shoes.”

The second heel doesn’t land in the middle of the floor like its predecessor. Instead, it flies straight into Salena’s arm as she rounds the corner.

“Ow--what the fuck? Angel!”

The overhead light cuts on, temporarily blinding both you and Angel. When you open your eyes, you find a half-dressed Salena standing over you. Your discarded heel in her left hand, her narrowed eyes focused on you.

"So, this is why you wanted me to leave? Your girlfriend is home?"

"Neither of us is his girlfriend, sweetheart." you correct.

“I’m not sleeping in your bed ever again,” you clarify, your voice muffled against your palms. “Not until you wash your sheets.”

In the time it took to get Salena out of the house you’ve found that your body has begun to crash. The idea of laying down the only thought of your mind. That’s why the moment he’s settled alongside you on the floor, Angel’s shoulder becomes your pillow.

“Please don’t say I told you so.”

Passing up the opportunity to be right, is not in Angel’s nature. But one look at you, he’s biting his tongue.

“I never liked him.”

“You've never liked anyone I’ve dated,” you laugh quietly.

“That’s because you only date assholes.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Exactly.”

Angel's arm drapes around you, the gentle squeeze he gives bringing a weak smile to your lips.

“That’s it,” you sigh. “I’m done dating. Forever.”

“Dating is overrated,” Angel notes.

It’s a phrase Angel has told you nearly a million times over the years. Typically, after you’ve watched him ensnare yet another naive woman with his smile. You typically roll your eyes at Angel's mantra, but right now, you don’t even bother.

“I’m serious, if you see me even blinking at the same guy twice grab me.”

“Yeah, okay,” Angel chuckles.

He knows there's no point in taking the promise any further. If Angel is a cynic when it comes to dating, you’re the poster child for hopeless romantics.

When you fall in love, you fall hard. When you get heartbroken, the fallout hits the hardest.

“I can’t wait until my forties to have a kid.”

“What?”

“I’ll be in my sixties when they graduate high school--my sixties!”

“That’s what this is about?”

“...he doesn’t want kids...at least not right now...he wants time to explore other options before being shackled to me forever.”

“I’m going to kick his fucking ass.”

“When you do, can I watch?”

“Fuck that, you’re getting in a few hits.”

“I can’t believe I wasted three years on him, thinking he was going to help me start a family,” you groan. “When I could’ve just asked you.”

Angel laughs, his smile growing as you giggle.

“I’m serious. Definitely would’ve happened faster.”

“If you want to have sex with me, there are much easier ways--”

“Shut up, it is not about sex,” you assure him as your eyes drift shut. “I actually pride myself in being one of the few women in this town you haven’t slept with. Being immune to your charm is a superpower.”

“You still ended up here tonight,” Angel grins.

You softly smile.

“That’s because you’re my best friend, and you always give the best hugs when I feel like shit.”

series taglist: @youlovetkay @mochachocolatteyaya @chaneajoyyy @sesamepancakes

angel + all mayans tags: @turn-thy-paige @finalgirlhales @jadesid @poetically-0riginal @diaryofkali @babaohhhriley @katastrophic04 @partypoison00 @rose-bliss @mayansxlover @joannasteez @headrushxreeta @brwnlikefoxy @nemesis729 @destiny-tsukino @inyourbackpocketisbutterflies @straightestgay-voice

all stories: @rosieposie0624 @amberritonicole @agoldin @est1887@toni9 @chaneajoyyy @relaxing-najee @awkwardtayler @siempremamita @seize-the-droid @glimmerglittergirl @cutiebubbleboo @pearlkitten33 @tian-monique @megapeacelovemusic-blog @sincerelykas @brattyfics @ladyofsoa@browneyes912 @beiroviski @sadeyesgf @mrsmarvelous1995 @everyhowlmarksthedead @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @demonquartz @appropriate-writers-name @ughdontbeboring @cocotheclown @thesandbeneathmytoes @queenbeered @starrynite7114 @wiccanmetallicrose @tomhardydallasstarsgirl

#may the queue be with you #angel reyes x black!reader #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes imagine #mayans imagines

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magicrowiswritingstuff · 3 years

Text

“Embrace” - Din Djarin x female!reader

Tigaanur Series: Part 1 | Part 2 (you’re here!) | Part 3 | MASTERLIST

Summary: The first time you slept next to the Mandalorian definitely wasn’t that comfortable. The second time would have been a lot better … if you could have fallen asleep in his embrace.

Warning: the fluff continues, a bit of violence/near death experience? (honestly ... is that news in that series?), more touching and bed sharing, suggestive themes, Hmmm slow-burn romance! My favorite ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Category: fluff

Words: about 8.000

Notes: The sequel to “Touch” is here! You don’t have to read the first part necessarily but I would suggest it because some things are references you might understand better if you read both. I also decided to name this series “Tigaanur“ which is Mando’a for ... touch, lol. I hope y’all like the second part just as much! I had a lot of fun writing this, hehe. Note 2: Again, set during season 1 but the events are drawn out over a longer period of time (but they aren’t really mentioned) Note 3: If you like my writing ... I’m taking Requests! Or if you just want to be notified when I upload something: I’ve started a taglist, too!

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“Embrace” – Din Djarin x fem!reader

With a huff you turned in your makeshift bed and stared at the ceiling of the Razor Crest, your hands clasped and neatly placed on your stomach. Keeping track of the time was difficult when you were in hyperspace for more than a day, at least for you, but when spending these days unable to fall asleep, the minutes seemed to last an eternity longer. Insomnia plagued you in your hours of otherwise peaceful slumber ever since a few weeks. All those events, all those concerns to keep the Child safe and the realization that there was a bounty on your head now, kept you awake, alert even when you knew it was safe to close your eyes. Your days were a constant pattern you couldn't escape from. Fighting, fleeing, repeat. You were aware of what you had signed up for when you joined Mando and the little one on the Razor Crest and you didn't regret a thing. But what you hadn't been aware of at the beginning was just how much your mind would struggle to process everything. You adapted to having to be observant and careful all the time, you just couldn't switch it off anymore. Your body shook with energy, prepared to act if necessary at any time even when you were more than exhausted. In the last couple of weeks you only seemed to find any sleep when your body was too exhausted to function anymore, leaving you passed out in the copilot seat more often than not. When Mando would notice you almost falling sleep beside him, he always urged you to go down in your bed. You knew he only wanted you to sleep comfortably, the copilot seat wasn't the best alternative for your body and especially for your back. You didn't dare to tell him that the moment you would settle down in your bed, you would be wide awake for the rest of the flight. Sometimes sleep was within reach, so close but your mind would startle you awake before you could get a hold of it. Leaving you panicked in your bed with your heart beating relentlessly against your ribs, keeping you awake for the rest of the night. Other times your body was simply too restless for you to even feel tired, let alone fall asleep. The constant stress your body and mind were under, slowly but surely strained your nerves.

You groaned, frustrated at yourself, and pressed the palms of your hands against your eyes. You couldn't deal with this anymore. You kicked back your blanket and stood up from your makeshift bed. You stretched your arms over your head until your shoulders made a satisfied plopping sound, then you grabbed your blanket, draped it over your shoulders and head like a hood before you made your way to the ladder leading up. You tiptoed silently past the Mandalorian's cot in which the kid was sleeping soundly, not wanting to wake the little on up, and then climbed up to the cockpit.

Mando shifted in his seat the moment you set a foot onto solid ground again, tilting his head in confusion as he looked at you. You walked up to him with your head lowered and sat down into the copilot seat to his right. With your feet plopped onto the seat, you wrapped the blanket around you and leaned your head back, glancing at the streaks of blue and silver above your through the window. "Nightmare?" he asked, his voice a soft whisper his modulator struggled to pick up. His concern for you made your heart flutter and warmth spred in your stomach. "No" you shook your head and wrapped the blanket tighter around your body. "Just can't fall asleep right now." It wasn’t a lie, just not the complete truth either. You let out a sigh, your eyes still fixated onto the fascinating beauty that was hyperspace even though you have seen it a million times already. But the nebula of blue and silver, of the stars swirling around you, never ceased to amaze you. The silence was light but filled with unspoken words and questions. You didn't dare to ask any of them out loud. You didn't want to disturb the comfortable silence and you weren't sure if you wanted to hear his answers anyway. You had asked him the question that was burning on the tip of your tongue before. His answer didn't really clarify much for you, you were still unsure at times. Now you only knew that he didn't mind the touches, didn't mind you around him. You were curious but also afraid to ask again. You liked how the bond you two shared was right now, you didn't want it to change to something awkward.

Your eyes fluttered close unwillingly, the exhausting taking a hold of your stiff body. You still couldn't relax but your body needed to shut down, needed to recharge. You heard the Mandalorian shuffle with something but before you could open your eyes to look, he had already grabbed your hand from underneath the blanket and intertwined his un-gloved fingers with yours. The warmth of his touch immediately washed over your whole body. Your lips formed into a soft smile as you squeezed his hand in thanks, slowly melting into his touch and the seat, gradually you felt your body relax. Mando began to draw small circles on the back of your hand, soothing your racing thoughts to a halt. No words were spoken, but you didn't feel like they were necessary right now. You were just grateful for his touch as your mind slipped into a peaceful slumber. The last clear thought you could form stuck with you even when you woke up again a few hours later. You never seemed to be able to relax in your bed just as good as if you were in the cockpit with Mando by your side.

_______________

"Why does this always happen?" you huffed under your breath as you ran beside the Mandalorian, trying to get back to the Razor Crest before one of the men hunting you could land a shot.

You had just wanted to get some more supplies again, with three people on the ship rations didn't last long, especially with the always hungry kid that was hiding in the bag slung over your shoulder right now. You had wanted to go alone but after what happened the last time, when you had gotten badly hurt, Mando didn't allow that. Especially now that there was also a bounty on your head to track him and the kid down. You were in far more danger than he anticipated, than he wanted. But you also were in a desperate need to leave the ship even if it was only for an hour. You couldn’t stand being trapped there any longer, so you argued with him, refused to stay behind. After a while, and very reluctantly, Mando agreed to you going with him which meant that the kid had to join, too, because you didn't want to leave him alone on the ship. You had hoped for it to run smoothly, to just for once be able to enjoy a trip to a market and not be confronted with the harsh reality again. But you should have known better, you should have known that some bounty hunters would spot you three, that it was just inevitable.

So, that was why you were running through the narrow streets of the city you were in right now. Fighting them all off immediately hadn't been an option this time with all the civilians around you blocking your path and sight, so you three had to resort to shooting your way free and immediately fleeing after that. The plan had been to find a spot where you would have some advantage to attack but the city seemed to only consist of small, narrow streets in which you couldn't do anything except try to run, try to not get shot in the back.

Mando was running beside you but after a while you had trouble keeping pace with him. Your legs burned, the exhaustion in every fiber of your body from weeks of almost no sleep slowed you down more and more. Gasping for air you tried to not fall too far behind. The Mandalorian took a sharp turn to the left, vanishing into another small side street. You stumbled, struggling to slow down enough to take the turn without needing to stop completely. You could only vaguely hear the shouting of the bounty hunters behind you over the blood rushing through your ears and your heart hammering against your ribs. But what you could hear, or rather feel, was the blaster shoots zooming past you, barely missing. They were coming closer, fast. The kid cooed in your bag, confused by what was going on when you grabbed the bag and pressed it with him in it protectively against your chest. At least he wouldn't get hit there. You managed to round the corner and fixated your eyes back on Mando's form. With a groan you sped up, trying to catch up to him. But then you felt the laser of a blaster, its heat sizzled past your face, missing your skin only barely. Your heart leaped into your throat and you jumped to the side, your back collided with the wall of a building as you came to a sudden halt. When you collected your thoughts enough to turn your head, you saw the bounty hunters had already followed you into the small street and you knew there was no use in escaping anymore. If you ran, they would just shoot you in the back. You looked down at the Child who had stuck out his head from the bag, staring at you with his big, round eyes, and you knew what you had to do. You had no other option. You had to fight. You grabbed your blaster from the holster on your hip -Mando made you take one with you and had taught you the basics, now that you were on the radar of bounty hunters too- and slung the bag around so the Child would be hidden behind your back, safe from any blaster shots coming your way. You had no time to aim so you just shot into the general direction of the bounty hunters, hoping for the best, as you pushed yourself from the wall, avoiding a few shots only barely. Miraculously you managed to hit a few of them, or maybe it was Mando who hit them. He had to be somewhere behind you, he probably noticed your absence and had turned around to help, but your mind was too clouded to notice his footsteps hurrying closer or his blaster shots coming from behind you, more unfocused and aimless than usually. You ducked your head down to avoid a few more otherwise fatal shots and directed your blaster to the bounty hunter closest to you, only for it to jam. You pulled the trigger three times before you realized that nothing was happening. Your eyes widen in horror and you did the only thing you could think of right now: Protect the Child at all cost. You let your blaster fall to the ground as you spun around, so your back was facing the bounty hunters. You grabbed the bag during your turnaround and pressed it against your chest again, putting one hand on the little one’s head in an attempt to soothe him while your body shook in fear. You prepared yourself for the hit, prepared yourself for the heat sinking into your skin, for the pain, when you suddenly felt someone grab you and spin you around with them. You were too disoriented to react, to fight, you could only hear the lasers leaving the bounty hunter’s blaster, but none of them hit you. Instead, they hit something metallic, making them bounce off. You lifted your head slightly and your breath got stuck in your throat as you realized what was happening. Mando had wrapped his arms around you and spun you so his body was shielding you and the kid from the lasers, his back facing the bounty hunters, instead of yours. You couldn't do anything, except for staring at his visor in pure shock while he silently stared back, not even tilting his helmet in question. Him moving his hands behind your back stayed mostly unnoticed by you. Only when the whistling birds already struck down the bounty hunters that were left did you realized what he had done.

The echo of the blasters suddenly stopped, leaving the small side street in complete silence with the only exception being your still widely beating heart hammering against your ribs. The first one to move was neither Mando nor you but the Child, who was tugged in between the two of you. Wiggling and stretching his arms out he cooed at the Mandalorian whose helmet lowered to look at him. Slowly he loosened his grip on you, though his arms still stayed wrapped around you. If you didn't know it any better you would have said he was afraid you would disappear if he let go. But you didn't mind his hold on you, your legs were shaking uncontrollably and you would probably have slumped down on the ground without him. "Are you hurt?" he asked and glanced back at you, his voice frantic. You shook your head and let out a breathy sigh. "No-o" you said and gasped for air, your heart pumping hard against your chest in relief, before you directed your gaze to the little one. "We're okay. B-but I need a moment." You let your forehead fall against Mando’s armored chest and just focused on your breathing. The Mandalorian didn't move or interject, instead he tightened his arms around you again, giving you not only stability but comfort, too. You closed your eyes and tried to stop the shaking of your body. The adrenaline had vanished and only left the fear behind that was still closing its claws around you. You gulped, realizing that you almost ... that you could have died. A cold shiver ran down your spine as your breath hitched. This could have been the end of your journey. You could have... "We need to go" Mando spoke up, his voice caring an apologetic tone. You nodded against his chest, understanding that you had to leave the planet before more bounty hunters could arrive. You bit your lip and straightened up, taking a step back the Mandalorian let his arms slip from you, bringing them back to his sides. "Let's go" you agreed, trying to cover the waver of your voice with a small smile.

You held the Child pressed against your chest the whole remaining way back to the Razor Crest. His soft squeaks kept your mind at ease and focusing on his big, curious eyes made you forget about what almost happened. At least for the time being. Luckily, you didn't walk into any more bounty hunters. Though you could only take a deep breath of relief when the hangar closed tightly behind you. You only half-heartedly noticed Mando gently pushing you down onto the edge of his cot by the shoulders. You stared at the ground before you, still hugging the little one against your chest, and didn't even register the Razor Crest taking off. The short startle of the jump into hyperspace was also left unnoticed. Only when the Child was softly taken out of your arms did you look up at the Mandalorian, who had come back down. You didn't protest as he put the little one into his hammock where he promptly fell asleep.

"You should get some rest" the Mandalorian suggested, one of his hands resting on your shoulder, the leather of his glove brushing against the skin of your neck. The sensation left small tingles behind which would have made you sigh if you weren’t so tense. And even though you would have loved to, you knew sleep wasn't an option for you right now. "I can't-" you choked out and lowered your eyes to stare at your still shaking hands. You clenched them to fists and bit your lip. And even though the Mandalorian didn't speak up, did you know what he was asking when his hand wandered from your shoulder to your neck and cheek. You leaned into his touch, closed your eyes and wished to just fall asleep in his comforting presence, to just be able to forget this day. "I haven't been able to sleep properly ever since I joined you" you confessed, your voice faint. "But it has gotten worse over the last few weeks." "What can I do to help you?" the Mandalorian asked sincerely concerned. You couldn't help the soft chuckle escaping from your mouth. "Can you stay?" you hummed even though you knew he couldn't. This wasn't necessarily the worst sleeping position you were in since the last couple of weeks, but also not one of the best. However, if you moved to your bed or to the cockpit now, you would be wide awake once more. But Mando probably didn’t want to and couldn’t stay in that position anyway. You sighed at the warmth of his touch, relishing the moment for a few seconds more before you would have to stand up. But then Mando pulled away, making you open your eyes in an instant. You were about to stand up from his cot when he suddenly kneeled down before you. Freezing in place you stared at his visor that stayed trained on your face. Every word you could have said got stuck in your throat when he grabbed your legs and slipped your shoes off. You couldn't even ask him what he was doing, though your face probably gave that thought away. He placed your shoes neatly beside the entrance to his cot before slipping his off, too, which only left you even more confused. You blinked at him in lack of understanding, searching for words.

"What are you doing?" you managed to ask when he had stood up and took a step closer. He was now directly in front of you, his body so close you could feel the warmth that radiated from him and it springing over to you. He was so close that you had to put your head back to keep your eyes focused on his helmet. "Staying with you" he only answered. Before you could ask further questions, he suddenly picked you up with one arm underneath your legs and the other bracing your back. Your eyes grew wide as you just clung onto him, unable to protest. Somehow Mando managed to get you two settled into his cot with him lying on his back, almost taking in all the space, and you on your side, trying to squeeze into the space that was left. Nevertheless, you had to press against him with your head lying on his armored shoulder. You didn't dare to breathe, didn't dare to move at all and just watched Mando for a while. He had his hands clasped on top of his stomach, the visor of his helmet pointed to the ceiling, harshly reflecting the still switched-on lights of the ship. He didn’t move and you began to wonder if he had already fallen asleep. But then you thought about how he was even supposed to fall asleep that way in his bed, completely dressed in his armor. Wasn’t he uncomfortable? You furrowed your brows, your eyes still trained on his helmet. Or did he always sleep that way? Fully dressed in his armor? Unmovingly on his back like a rock?

"Sleep."

You couldn't help the squeak spilling over your lips as you flinched in embarrassment, making the Mandalorian chuckle lowly. He had noticed you staring, obviously. You cursed at yourself and ducked your head in, trying to sink into yourself and appear smaller while your cheeks heated up. Embarrassed you stared at your hands, refusing to meet the Mandalorian’s gaze again. His shoulders shook lightly from his silent laughter. Then he grabbed the blanket, draping it over the two of you before he pushed a button on the side of the wall which switched off the lights and closed the door to the cot. You were grateful for the darkness as your face definitely gave away your flustered state. For a few moments you focused on Mando's regular breathing through the modulator, feeling his body move next to you to the almost completely silent rhythm. You mimicked his relaxed breathing, trying to clear your thoughts and focusing on only that and not the close proximity you had to each other. And before you knew it your body relaxed and you fell asleep, tightly pressed against him.

_______________

You were relieved and grateful to Mando for finally having found some sleep through his help, but you would be lying if you said it was a comfortable slumber.

You had awoken alone in Mando's cot. Well, not completely alone. The kid was still sleeping in his hammock above you and the pain in your back was now also a new companion. Spending one night cramped into one tiny space with a man completely dressed in cold, hard armor probably wasn't the best idea. Nevertheless, you had slept and for the first time in weeks you felt somewhat well rested, back pain brushed aside.

You groaned and set up, rubbing your eyes and wondered how you didn't notice Mando leaving. In the tight space that was his bed you surely would have felt him move, right? Well, apparently you had been far too out of it for that. You were somewhat impressed at yourself for having fallen so deeply asleep but your body probably had just passed out, far too exhausted to keep being alert even in your sleep. You yawned, searched for the button to open the cot and then crawled to its edge to put your shoes back on, noticing that Mando's were gone. You stood up and glanced at the Child but when you noticed that he was still soundly asleep, you silently walked to the ladder and climbed up. Once you were at the top you stopped and stared at the back of Mando's helmet, suddenly feeling very unsure of yourself. Sleeping next too him was the most intimate gesture he had shared with you. And even though that wasn’t really something big normally, you had shared a bed with friends before, this felt different. Somehow it felt intrusive and very exciting at the same time. You felt special but flustered none the less. Then you huffed and shook your head, clearing it from those thoughts. 'We only shared a bed' you told yourself. There was nothing special about that, right? Well, maybe not with any other person. But with Mando every small step felt like a miracle, like a risk to take even though being close to him was nothing new to you anymore. You held hands, you saw and felt his skin underneath the leather gloves, you even sat on his lap a few times while in hyperspace. But nothing ever felt so intimate than lying next to him in his small cot, even if you had a sore back now because of that. Alone the memory of it made your heart speed up again. Never had so simple gestures felt so exciting to you. And then the desire hit you that you wanted more, wanted to be closer to the man behind the beskar. And that thought suddenly scared you. You shook your head once more and forced yourself to sit down into one of the copilot seats. You stared out of the window, too afraid to meet the Mandalorian's gaze should he tilt his head to you, too afraid he would somehow know what you were thinking. You felt torn. Torn between wanting to embrace whatever this was and scared to know what he wanted, what he thought. Scared to know what exactly this was. It wasn’t a simple partnership anymore, not just a crew you happened to join. This was something that set your heart aflame whenever you were near him. But you didn’t want to ask. You didn’t want to know his answer. As long as he didn’t tell you what this was to him you could continue to pretend, to relish these moments that meant so much to you.

You folded your hands and placed them in your lap to stop yourself from fiddling with your thumbs. The silence was uncommonly heavy, pressing down on your shoulders and pinning you to the seat. "Thank you" you whispered after many minutes of complete silence and glanced at the Mandalorian through the corners of your eyes. He only hummed and nodded, not turning to meet your eyes.

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The rest of your day was filled with the giggles and squeals of the Child as you played with him to distract yourself form your thoughts. You couldn't stand being in the cockpit alone with Mando today, so you had passed the time and busied yourself with caring for the kid. That was until he had fallen asleep in your arms at the end of the day, or at least you guessed another day had passed. Keeping track of it in hyperspace was still rather hard for you. You had put the little one to bed and were now standing in front of him, in front of Mando’s cot, unsure what to do. Glancing at your own bed you felt your stomach tighten. You already knew you would only turn from side to side without finding any rest in there. The only option to find any sort of sleep would be next to Mando. You sighed and climbed back up to sit down into one of the copilot seats only to almost run into the Mandalorian as the door to the cockpit slid open suddenly before you. You froze, your face only inches away from his chest. You took a deep breath before you slowly lifted your head until you could look into his visor. When he didn’t move to the side or reacted at all, you furrowed your brows at him in question. "Aren't you tired?" he asked and gently took your hand in his. It was the first time that he had talked to you today. The rest of the day had always been filled with awkward silence, something you had always feared should you ask the questions that were circling in your head, something you had wanted to prevent by staying silent, but now it was too late. He tilted his head at you when you didn't react. For a few moments you were overwhelmed and struggled for words. "Ehm, well, yeah but-" you weren't able to finish your sentence, though you weren't even sure what you had wanted to say anyway, when Mando squeezed your hand and nodded to the ladder. Understanding what he wanted to signal to you, you let your hand slip from his and began to climb back down, Mando following close behind. You were back where you had stood before, not knowing what to do. When Mando slipped his shoes off you did the same, just so you had something to occupy your mind with. When he turned to look at you, you stayed put where you were, frozen in place with your heart hammering against your ribs, begging you to let it escape. Did he really want to sleep in his armor again just so you could find some sort of relaxation, some form of comfort through his presence? Not to forget how painful it was to wake up earlier today for you, then you couldn’t possible imagine how it had to be for him. You suppressed the wince that would have spilled over your lips other wise and shook your head. Now wasn't about your comfort during sleep, but Mando's. And sleeping in armor definitely couldn’t be comfortable or even good for him. He should be able to relax in his ship and not be reminded of his job, his chaotic life through the armor he wore during the day and now at night, too.

"Isn't it uncomfortable to sleep in your armor?" you asked sincerely concerned and not just to gain some more seconds to try and sort your mind. Mando only shrugged his shoulders, while you rubbed the back of your neck that still felt a little stiff from this morning. "You don't have to-" you wanted to explain to him that he didn't have to do this for you when he would be uncomfortable as a result, that you would just try to sleep in your bed again so he felt comfortable enough to take the armor off and sleep alone in his cot. But every word got stuck in your throat when he did something you never thought your eyes would ever witness. He took off his armor, piece by piece, right in front of you. Your eyes grew wide and your mouth fell slightly open. "What-" you only managed to croak out as your eyes wandered over his form, the last piece of armor he still wore being his helmet and the rest of his clothing being what he wore underneath, a simple shirt and pants. You couldn't help yourself, you couldn't keep yourself from staring at him. His shoulders were still broad and wide even without the armor but only now did you notice his slender waist. You gulped and stopped your eyes from moving lower, bringing them back up, only for your heart to leap into your throat as you stared at his chest and arms that were now only covered by a dark, long-sleeved shirt. You already knew Mando was physically strong but the shirt did nothing to hide the muscles flexing in his arms and shoulders even when he was only standing before you. Why did you feel like he was standing bare before you when he only took his armor off and was still standing before you fully clothed? You felt your face heat up and your breath getting shallow at that thought. Your body tensed as you forced your eyes to stay on Mando's visor. You had embarrassed yourself enough already.

He hadn’t said anything when he had taken off his armor nor when he stepped closer to you, directing you backwards to the cot. When the back of your knees hit the edge you stumbled, almost falling on your back but Mando grabbed your hand and kept you upright. "Careful" he chuckled. Your face grew even hotter as you bit your lip, suppressing the mindless blabber that would have escape you otherwise. Slowly he lowered your still tilted off-center body until you found yourself on the exact same spot as yesterday. It felt rather surreal and you kept wondering if you weren’t just dreaming right now. Maybe you were still asleep? But when your eyes glanced at his exposed neck, the skin sun-kissed and flexing over his muscles in such detail, you were sure you couldn’t make this up during your sleep, that this had to be real. "Mando, I-" you began but he shushed you. "Let's just get some sleep, okay?" You nodded and stood up, letting Mando settled into his bed first. He laid down like he had yesterday, flat on his back with his arms on his stomach. For a second you hesitated, staring down at him before you followed him into the tight space, plopping down on your side with your back to him and snuggling underneath the blanket he had already draped over himself. You felt far too flustered to face him right now, especially with the lights still on. Without a word he closed the door to the cot and switched the lights off. You gulped, somehow feeling Mando's side pressed against your back even more prominently than before. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, snuggling deeper into the blanket in an attempt to make yourself fall asleep faster. Only to suddenly realize that everything in the cot smelled like the Mandalorian, smelled like something metallic (his beskar) mixed with something earthy, something grounding, something soothing. Heat immediately rushed back into your cheeks and your body tensed. Oh Maker, how were you supposed to fall asleep now? With Mando's scent in your nose and his body tightly pressed against you, you definitely couldn't. You didn't really feel uncomfortable but to say this position did anything for your still slightly sore back and neck was also not correct. And that your heart racing uncontrollably fast didn't help you in any way either. You couldn't relax like this.

Your eyes darted around in the dark as you tried to jump over your shadow and control your rapid breathing. Then, before you could back out again, you turned around underneath the blanket so you would have faced the Mandalorian if the lights were on. He didn't react or at least as far as you were aware. He could surely be looking at you through his visor, that probably had night vision, without moving his head. You gulped before carefully placing your hand on his chest. You felt him tense underneath your touch instantly, signaling you that he wasn't asleep yet. You felt how your cheeks heated up even more when your fingers brushed his muscular chest instead of the cold, hard beskar armor you were used to by now. "Mando?" you asked quietly, your voice trembling nervously while you patiently waited for an answer even after many seconds of silence. You wanted to make sure he was comfortable enough to answer you before you tried anything else. "Yes?" he finally said and you felt his head moving beside you ever so slightly. "Are you comfortable?" you questioned further. Another few seconds of silence followed in which the only thing you could focus on was how close you were to the unarmed Mandalorian. You could feel every muscle on his chest underneath your touch, still a bit tense but slowly loosening up more and more. You could feel his soothing warmth even more, now that the beskar wasn't in the way. You bit your lip, suppressing a sigh. "It's alright" he only answered, leaving your question rather unsatisfied. You took a deep breath, trying to stop your body from shaking and forced yourself to speak up again. "I am not" you whispered and felt him tense up again underneath your touch. You felt his head move once more, probably now completely turned to face you. He didn't say anything, just stared at you through the darkness. You struggled for words for a while, unsure how to continue without making him uncomfortable, without sounding too demanding. Then you lightly shook your head as far as that was possible lying on your side next to him. "Could you-" you began but bit your lip. Collecting all the courage you had left you forced yourself to continue. "Could you turn on your side?"

You stared into the darkness, at the unmoving Mandalorian as your pulse quickened. Nobody moved and you began to fear that you had overstepped a boundary. Maker, he had taken off his armor in front of you for the very first time. This must be even more uncomfortable for him than you. You gritted your teeth, cursing at yourself. You should have stayed silent and just tried to sleep. About to apologize you opened your mouth only to suddenly feel movement beside you. Before you knew it the Mandalorian laid on his side, but not like you had expected it with his back facing you, but with his chest. Your heart leaped into your throat, leaving you breathless and unable to form the words you had wanted to say out loud. You froze, your whole body tensed up in disbelief. "Is that better?" he asked, his voice an almost inaudible whisper. "Yeah" you croaked out. The silence that followed was deafening, making the beat of your heart even more audible and you were sure Mando must have been able to hear it, too. Your brain shut off, leaving you alone in the dark, helpless. How were you supposed to sleep now?! With your eyes wide you stared in front of you, stared into the darkness where Mando's chest was, only inches away from your face. You almost yelped in panic when you noticed that your hand was still touching him, pressed against his unarmored chest. But you couldn't move away. Was your mind blank only seconds before was it now swarming and crowded with thousand of thoughts.

You flinched when you suddenly felt a featherlight touch on your waist. You needed a few seconds to process that it was Mando's un-gloved hand. "Is this okay?" he asked, his voice so soft his modulator didn't even pick it up. You realized that this was Mando's real voice, not the distorted sound of his helmet but what he would sound like without it. A shower of tingles wandered down your body, leaving you breathless. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to find the words. "Ye-yeah." Mando let his arm sneak around your waist, wrapping it around you and slowly pulling you against his chest. You didn't even notice that you were the one to tangle your legs with his, it felt intuitive. Suddenly you felt really dizzy. Was this really happening right now? You grabbed Mando's shirt with your shaking fingers and buried your head in his chest in a stupid attempt to hide. Because the moment you had to take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down, you only grew even more dizzy when his scent filled your nose. You cursed silently in your mind. But even through all of this, did you notice how your body slowly relaxed under this touch and warmth. Involuntary, you let out a soft sigh and closed your eyes.

"Thank you, Mando" you managed to whisper after probably minutes of silence. The Mandalorian didn't immediately retort anything to that and instead tightened his grip on your waist and squeezed the hand of his free arm between the two of you to place it on to of your hands that were still pressed firmly against his chest. "Din." You lifted your head to look at where his eyes must be hidden behind the darkness and furrowed your brows in lack of understanding. "What?" you asked confused. "Please. Call me Din." Your eyes widen and your face grew even hotter if that was even possible at that point. He ... he just revealed his name to you? Your breath hitched. He just revealed his name to you. "Din" you tested his name on your tongue in a hushed tone. The Mandalorian went rigid as he sucked in a sharp breath and you feared you had misunderstood him but then he pressed you even closer to him, making your heart skip a beat. You gasped for air in shock when he nestled into your hair as you felt his chin on top of your head and not the cold helmet. His legs had sneaked around yours, pinning you against him but you didn't feel trapped. Quite the opposite, you actually enjoyed his tight embrace. "Din?" you asked, your voice wavering noticeably. The grip around your waist tightened for a split second as he tried to stifle his sigh, making you chuckle and melt against him. "Din" you said again with a cheeky smile on your lips. The Mandalorian growled against you, making you jump in surprise. "Are you trying to torture me, cyar'ika?" he asked, his voice husky and low. You paused, not quite understanding what he meant by that. "What-" you began, shifting in his hold so you would be looking at his face in confusion if it weren't so dark. For a few seconds you just stared and thought until your eyes widen in realization as your mind caught on. "When was the last time someone called you by your name?" you asked in a hush. "Can't remember" he answered you in a low growl as he pressed himself against you. Your cheeks burned again in an instant as you struggled for words once more. Din’s breath stuttered through the modulator, his chest heaving against yours. You wondered if his mind was as blank as yours was but then he suddenly let go of your waist and instead grabbed both of your hands before you could collect yourself enough to react to any of the things he had said, to the things he had revealed to you. For a few moments he just drew soothing circles on the backs of your hands, tracing your soft skin as if it was the first time he felt it. Then he directed them upwards and placed them on each side of his helmet. After that no one moved and you barely dared to breathe. You hadn't touched his helmet before, always far too afraid since it seemed to be the most important part of his creed. But the only thing on your mind wasn’t your surprise at that and instead you could only focus on how the coldness of the beskar underneath your hands and the warmth of Din's hand on top sent shivers down your spine.

"(Y/N)?" You hummed in response, still unable to speak up, your mind far too clouded. "You can take it off." Your body stiffened as you blinked in confusion. Did he really just say that? You must have imagined that, right? Right? "B-but your creed?" you objected, staring into the darkness. "It's okay as long as you can't see my face" he explained, squeezing your hands before leaving them alone on his helmet as he wrapped his arms back around your waist, lifting you a bit further up so you were face to face with him. Your hands were still cupping the sides of his helmet as you sucked in a sharp breath. Were you really about to do this? It felt wrong even though he had asked you to. It felt … intimate. "Please, cyar'ika. Let me be close to you." Din's pleading voice and the foreign nickname send shivers down your spine. Your breath hitched as you pushed all your worries to the side and slowly lifting the helmet up. Its hiss echoed in your ears as you held your breath, your heart beating so strong you felt it in your throat. You pushed it up over his hair that brushed your hands, leaving tingles behind. Then you placed the helmet to the side and gasped when you felt Din's breath on your face. The sensation left you dizzy as your heart began to drum relentlessly against your chest. Your hands felt useless as they floated in the air, not knowing where to put them. For many seconds you didn’t dare to move before you squeezed one of your hands back between the two of you, placing it on his chest before taking a deep breath.

"Can I?" you asked in a whisper, your other hand hovering over where his cheek must be hiding in the darkness. A soft "Yeah" escaped Din's mouth and you didn't waste another second and gently placed your hand on his face. The sensation and his warmth left you with a feeling you couldn’t quite place or understand. Slowly you began to outline his features, let your hand wander from his chin up to his ear, feeling his strong jar and the slight stubble that adorned it. The combined feeling of his surprisingly soft skin and rougher stubble left you breathless. You let your hand placed on his cheek for a few moments, trying to collect your thoughts and failing miserably. You sucked in a sharp breath and carefully continued to let your fingers wander to his forehead, tracing his eyebrow you felt how his eyes fluttered close. Then your touch traveled back down, mapping out the shape of his nose. In the end your fingers hovered over his lips and you felt his breath against them as they trembled. Gently you placed them on his chin and felt your way up to his bottom lip. You traced the outline of his mouth in a trance and when he chuckled against you, you didn’t even flinch and joined in. Your fingers found their way further up, to the corner of his lips, feeling the stubble above his lips form into a mustache. You chuckled again. He took your breath away. "Beautiful" you whispered as you continued to caress the corner of his mouth. You felt it crinkle up in a smile as Din laughed, the rumble of it vibrating in your chest, the sound hypnotizing you. "Mesh'la" he responded in a hushed tone, as he drew your faces closer. You weren't sure what the word meant but you didn't really care right now. His scent so metallic yet earthy, so soft yet sensual and warm it left you breathless and with your thoughts spinning, craving more. Your heart hammered against your ribs, screaming and begging for a few more millimeters, only a small push forward. You were sure Din was able to feel the echo of your heart against his own chest. He shifted lightly against you, wrapping his legs around you more, and tightening his grip on your waist, drawing your body even closer even though not a single hair could fit in between you two anymore. Your sleepiness was completely forgotten by now as you stared into the darkness, not able to close your eyes even though you couldn't even see anything. But you didn't need your eyes to see him, to know how beautiful he was. He lowered his head, placing his forehead against yours. You were glad to note that you weren't the only one whose breath stuttered over your lips at that. You couldn't help but melt into him, soaking in his warmth and the feeling of comfort, the feeling of belonging right there with him. Feeling like this was all that life was, feeling safe and protected. At peace. You let your hand wander to his hair, burying your fingers into his locks. The slight tug made Din growl once more, the sound low and dangerous, teasing and daring you to continue. You smiled and brushed his hair back, taking part in the game he dared you to play with him, no matter the consequences. You wanted to see what he would do, you wanted more. All those months of faint touches, whispers of being close to one another, had left you even more touch-starved then before, even more desperate. You didn’t care for the unspoken boundaries anymore. You just wanted to let yourself fall into your desire, a desire Din seemed to share. Slowly one of his hands crept up the back of your neck to also bury his fingers in your hair. The sensation made you gasp and your hair stand on end. You were sure Din was grinning at that, proud and pleased. Out of instinct you freed one of your legs from his and draped it over his waist, seeking to be even closer to him, even though his whole body was already pressed against you and his lips so close that you could feel the ghost of his breath on yours. It made you shiver in anticipation. Pressing your forehead even more against his you took a deep breath, taking in his soothing scent. Only a few millimeters more and you would have the closeness you sought. Only a few millimeters closer to fulfill the whishes of your heart. Only a few millimeters closer and you would have known how his lips felt dancing against your own.

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Tigaanur Series: Part 1 | Part 2 (you’re here!) | Part 3 | MASTERLIST

No kisses, hehehehe. Want to have a third part with them kissing? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Then leave a comment and reblog! Feedback is always highly appreciated, it keeps me motivated and I’d just like to know what y’all think and if you liked it!

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If you want to be added to any taglist just write me a message!

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x female reader #the mandalorian x female reader #mando x reader #female reader #x reader #star wars x reader #fluff #the mandalorian oneshot #the mandalorian imagine #Tigaanur series #mando #the mandalorian season 1

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ddarker-dreams · 4 years

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Levi Ackerman x Reader hcs. [COMM]

a/n: i haven’t written for levi in many years!! some lock lore is that i used to write for him the most, it’s actually what got me into fanfiction/anime in the first place back in 2012... so it feels very nice to write for him again. i had a lot of fun with this! :’) word count: 2k. warnings: non explicit mentions of death (not involving reader), just canon typical stuff.

Love has been a concept that remains closed off in Levi’s mind. Getting close to others is already a risk too great in the world he’s come to know, a factor that’s proven unfortunately true time and time again. When you’re close to others, it means the possibility of being hurt by them all the same when they inevitably leave. The pain of losing another he’s grown attached to outweighs the possible benefits that could come with a closer connection. This philosophy has ensnared his heart, creating a barrier that no one dared slipping past for many years.

Even though Levi makes the choice to be wary of growing closer than necessary to people, he also understands the importance of trusting in his comrades. He has his own way of mentally assessing new recruits, and didn’t think much of you initially. You were a fresh face, who hoped that your efforts would cultivate humanity’s future. He’d seen many with that spark too many times to count. All of them ending up killed in gruesome ways, or losing the shine in their eyes should they live past another expedition. Though he still has an inherent respect for anyone willing to put their lives on the line for the Survey Corps, this extending to you as well.

His initial assessment of you was proven incorrect. While no longer as naive to the horrors of the outside world, the spark inside of you remains ever bright. There’s determination, that has only grown in strength as time goes on, rather than fading away. It catches his eye, to say the least. He looks after you from afar, without even realizing it. Levi tells himself that it’d just be a shame if something happened to you. He doesn’t think anything beyond that for some time, for his own mental well being.

Your relationship starts off with no romantic intentions. Levi spots you training on your own one day, even after a grueling day of menial work that comes with being a member of the Survey Corps. He’s captivated, unable to look away from your form. It’s sloppy, he thinks, but not hopeless. You’re not hopeless. It doesn’t sound like a high compliment, but coming from him, it’s meaningful.

It’s startling when he approaches you for the first time. He’s pointing out the numerous errors in your stance and what to do to correct them, never mincing his words. Levi’s standing there, arms crossed, willing you to continue with his input. While being under the scrutiny of humanity’s strongest soldier is anxiety inducing, his advice works perfectly. He doesn’t comment further than that, turning on his heels and leaving you to your thoughts and confusion.

Keeping your body in the best possible condition is vital to staying alive. His advice, though delivered in sharp as knives critiques, serves you well. Even just the bare minimum has your technique rapidly improving. This motivation to keep growing and learning is what drives you. Levi continues to watch from a safe distance as you spend hours doing different exercises, developing your abilities. From this point on it becomes something of a tradition, as much as he tries not to think of it that way. There’s a level of subconscious attachment that comes with looking forward to seeing you improve every evening. He’s acknowledged you.

You start training together. It’s not everyday an opportunity to learn under Levi is offered, so when the hand was extended to you, you accepted it. He’s a tough yet fair teacher, offering praise only when he believes it’s deserved. Unfortunately, he can’t devote that much time to your little evenings due to his other obligations. That makes the time you shared all the more special. Despite himself, he’s looking out for you, and you him. A solid relationship begins to form.

Levi isn’t the easiest person to be around. He’s surprisingly talkative if you get him speaking on subjects that interest him, but his language remains coarse. Once you get used to this side of him, it’s for the better, hours flying by and the night sky appearing before you know it. Unlike others that tend to get offended or avoid alone time with Levi due to his reputation, you remain constant. He never brings it up, though he does wonder why you’re hellbent on seeking him out.

There are still times where Levi holds an internal battle over the unfolding events. He’s starting to like spending time with you, more than just offering wisdom on various subjects he’s knowledge about. He genuinely enjoys listening when you speak, an honor exclusive to you. Through the snark and monotonous comments, there’s clear attachment.

It gets to the point that his closer comrades even pick up on the unusual behavior, this level of respect typically reserved for no one other than Commander Erwin. Though Hanji is the only one to point this behavior out. Everyone else is too frightened at the prospect of teasing Levi over his not so subtle fondness for you. He really didn’t think he was being so obvious...

You’re on his mind more than he cares to admits. His mind wonders to you at night, when he’s in town, or even when he sees something silly that reminds him of you. Eventually, Levi’s thoughts almost always connect to you to some degree. He’ll spot something in the windows of a shop and recall how you mentioned wanting something similar, or subconsciously look for your favorite food when walking through market stalls. The thought of giving you gifts is off putting for a while since it’s a clear sign of of tenderness. And dammit, he’s trying so hard not to become attached -- but who is he kidding -- it’s far too late for that.

What Levi is good at is making swift decisions in the heat of the moment, and combat. So he has literally no idea how to approach his developing feelings for you. There are a lot of impulses, such as complimenting you, but it comes out more like an insult than anything. God bless your soul, because you’re going to be putting up with lots of uncomfortable interactions. He’s trying, okay, but he doesn’t know the first thing about romance.

How he best shows his care for you is helping around in various ways. It isn’t as embarrassing as having to offer compliments, or the other traditional ways of romancing the person you’re interested in. Levi commits to making your life easier in anyway he can. These things range from making sure your horse is in top condition, setting aside rations if he knows you’re too busy to get them yourself, and checking over your equipment personally. He presents all this by saying “You’re prone to making mistakes, so let me do it instead.” In reality he just wants to make life easier for you, don’t be fooled by the prickly comment.

He isn’t blind to the other elements of his attraction to you. You’re always glowing, an angel incarnate, beauty enough to draw in practically anyone with eyes. It was enough to draw him in after all. The first attempts at physical affection are subtle, yet heartfelt. Sitting closer to you, thighs almost touching. Leaning in closer whenever you speak. Lightly brushing his fingers against his face, claiming he saw a spec of dirt on it. All these things to gauge your reaction and build up his own confidence in pursuing you further.

The first time you kiss would be the night before an expedition. It’s always the most gut wrenching experience, anxiety ailing you so badly that sleep refuses to come. The stars are out, not a cloud in the sky. Levi comes to sit by you, chastising you for not being asleep, and offering no rebuttal when you point out that he’s also awake. It’s a serene moment, neither of you exchanging words for some time, finding comfort in each others presence. You don’t even realize how close he is to you. He speaks, the words insignificant, you’ve already long forgot what they were.

When your head turns to offer him your full attention, that’s when he leans in. A chaste kiss is pressed against your parted lips. It’s shocking to say the least, adrenaline pumping through your veins at the intimate moment. His lips are softer than you expected. He treats you with unprecedented delicacy, moving back to assess your expression through lidded eyes. When you’re willing to reciprocate he’s more than happy to let you have your way.

Levi isn’t the best with expressing himself fully through words. His actions more than compensate for this, you’ll never doubt his dedication to you. There’s no need for flowery prose, not when he has proven the lengths he’d go through to keep you safe, bearing all of himself to you. Your relationship isn’t defined by strict terminology, as he admitted to finding stuff like that “a waste of breath”. You both wordlessly acknowledge one another as partners. Any keen onlooker might be able to pick up on this, you don’t hide or put your relationship on display.

It’ll take some time for him to grow more amiable to physically expressing himself. He’s aware of his own strength and intimidating disposition, and doesn’t want to mess what’s possibly the best thing in his life up. So you’ll need to lead in most of those areas. All physical affection is reserved for private moments. Aside from maybe him whispering a sly remark or two in passing.

The affection he likes receiving from you the most would be: Complimenting his actions, when you lay your head on his shoulder, whenever you do little things to help him out without him mentioning it, and when you hug him. He’s never experienced being held by another human being. So when you do it for the first time, he’s taken aback by how pleasant it is. Your comforting scent, how your warmth envelopes him, and how he can feel your heart beating. It’s one of his favorite things in the world, other than you of course.

The type of affection that he gives you the most would be: Acknowledging your growth in different areas (especially if he knows you’re insecure in one of them), putting his hand over yours, reminding you to take care of yourself, and kissing you on the forehead. Levi is a very proactive lover. He’s got a keen eye, picking up on things about yourself before you even notice them. While he might not always have the most tact, everything he does for you comes from a wholesome place.

Levi remains serious in the public eye. But when it’s just the two of you, or the company is people he’s close with, he loosens up considerably. Most of his jokes go over your head, since he always delivers them with such a deadpan. When he gets you to laugh with his dry wit though, by god does it feel good, he could listen to your laughter forever. It might even make his face heat up.

You’re capable of making him smile more than anyone else! Though it’s still rare, that just means that when he does, you treasure it all the more. He smiles the most when you lose yourself in conversation. Rambling about your dreams, stories from your childhood, frustrating encounters that you had that day... all of it warms his heart in a way he never thought possible. You’re an addicting ray of sunshine, that he’s hellbent on protecting.

Levi knows, now more than ever, what he wants from the future. Alongside protecting and expanding humanity’s territory, it’s you that he wants by him, and no cost is too great to achieve it. He won’t lose you -- he’s already lost so much -- so expect him to be protective. There may be limits to what he can do, but they’re all arbitrary to him. Rules and morality mean nothing in the face of ensuring your safety, and he’s vowed this to you. That one day, you’ll have a secure future, forever tied to each other. He might not mention the last part as it’s embarrassing, but the general sentiment is understood.

#levi #levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #Attack on Titan Imagine #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #aot #aot x reader #aot x you #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk x reader #my stuff #commissions

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fanfoolishness · 3 years

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Orphans (The Mandalorian)

(Three of y’all wanted Din & Boba Fett, so I combined your requests into one story because to be honest I think I have no idea how to write him! That’s probably enough Boba for one weekend, LOL. For @healingdays, @innitmarvelous2 and Anon!

Din and Boba have a talk by a fire. Platonic, a little angsty, set just after Tython, 1200 words.)

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At least there was this, then, battle: the brutal and elegant dance of blows struck and bolts fired, the song of pumping blood and pounding heart. In this Din could lose himself for a time, his focus shrunk down only to this moment, this second, this instant.

He grunted, taking a blow that rattled his beskar; blocked and parried, shoved back, struck deep with his spear, finished with his fist. Felt the crunch of bone beneath his balled hand, breathed deep of the gasp his enemy huffed into the cold night air. There was safety here in the thin line between victory and defeat, and he leaned into it with every fiber, muscles heart gut brain a singular deadly unit.

And then what he’d been dreading came upon him: the silence, the echoing ring of the final blow. He stood over his fallen opponents, stormtroopers still and broken in the night. Sweat streamed down his face, soaking his collar, slicking the inside of his helmet.

Beside him, Boba Fett slung his gaffe stick over his shoulders, tilting his helmet toward Din. “You do good work, Mandalorian. Pity they had no information for us.”

The adrenaline leached out of him, leaving in its place a humming hollowness. “I knew Gideon would be hard to find,” he said gruffly, disappointment clinging to him as bitterly as the sweat. “I might be able to find another lead. Let’s get back to the ship.”

“Fennec’s taken it for repairs, remember,” said Fett. “Won’t be back for a few hours yet. We may as well find a place to hole up for the night.”

Din sighed. How had he forgotten their earlier discussion? He blinked. Perhaps the lack of sleep was catching up to him. He hadn’t slept for more than broken snatches since Tython. Sleep meant quiet, and quiet meant room to think, and that meant missing him, meant worry, fear, barely-contained panic --

“Fine,” he said. “But we’re gone as soon as the ship is free.”

***

The forest was alive and buzzing in the moonlight, creatures singing their night-choruses and buzzing their thoughts into the still spring air. Din ignored them, sitting at the edge of the fire across from Fett. Periodically he lifted his helmet, just slightly, to take a few drinks of water or a bite of the rations Fett had brought along. Fett’s helmet rested on the ground beside his feet, and he ate and drank openly, the shadows on his bare face stark in the firelight.

“So,” said Fett, cocking his head to one side. “Do you have a name?”

Din shrugged.

Fett quirked a brow. “You don’t want to say it? Or you’ve forgotten it?”

“It isn’t necessary.” He relented, Fett’s direct stare boring into him. “Usually people call me Mando.”

“Not exactly a flattering name, especially these days.” Fett shook his head. “I suppose it’s your business. But we might be working together for some time. A name might help.”

Din bristled. “Moff Gideon could be experimenting on the child as we speak. I don’t have the luxury of time.” Anger flared within him, a sick heat in his belly, and his hands tensed into fists at his side.

“I understand,” said Fett. There was an intensity in his naked eyes, a fierceness that left Din taken aback. “There will always be those who play such games.”

“It isn’t a game -- he could kill him --” No, don’t think about that, you’ll find him in time, you must --

“You misunderstand me,” said Fett, back to being as unemotional as ever. “In battle, sometimes terrible things are done for good reasons. I’m sure you’ve faced this yourself. It comes to all of us in time.” He took a drink of water. “But sometimes there is no battle. Sometimes there are only cowards, doing terrible things without cause, and somehow, they never see themselves the villain.” He fell silent for a moment. “Whatever the Moff is doing to your child, there is no reason for it. I’m sorry.”

The tension in Din’s fists and shoulders faded, dissolving into weariness. Your child. He wasn’t -- but wasn’t he? “He’s a foundling,” Din said suddenly. “As I was.”

“As my father was.” Fett gazed into the fire. “This is a galaxy filled with orphans.”

“Yes,” Din agreed, wondering why Fett had said something so obvious. He shook back a flash of red robes, smoke in the streets. “I was to find him a Jedi. They’ll be able to protect him --”

Fett let out a loud, barking laugh. “Jedi! Well. I suppose things may be different, for one of their own. He has their powers?”

“Yes. He can move things with his mind. Heal people. Hurt them.” A dim memory swam before him, the heat of a flamethrower, Grogu standing between him and the flametrooper, casting the fireball back, back. He remembered Cara, her hand scrabbling at her throat over a misunderstanding. “I can’t teach him myself what he needs to learn.”

“The Jedi have no fathers, you know,” said Fett.

The words settled in beneath Din’s armor, tearing at him. Was this good news, or bad? He swallowed. “Neither do the foundlings.”

“Some of them,” said Fett. “Maybe not yours.” He took another bite of his rations. “But what do I know?”

***

Din woke up with a start, his back and shoulders stiff from leaning against a log, his hands reaching up to touch his cuirass, reaching for --

But there was no sleepy Grogu nestled against his chest.

He blinked against the sunlight filtering in through his helmet, squinting. Morning. How he had let himself fall asleep?

“Good, you’re up,” said Fett, standing over him helmeted once more. “Fennec is making her way to the rendezvous point now.”

“You should have woken me,” said Din. “I could have kept watch.”

The tone in Fett’s voice suggested an eye roll beneath the helmet. “No, you couldn’t have. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you haven’t slept. You’ll get sloppy if you don’t tend to yourself, and the child needs you at your best.”

Din hung his head, abashed. Of course. He’d been foolish.

“Come now. Your best is formidable,” said Fett. He held out a hand. “The child’s lucky to have you looking out for him.”

Din stared up at the older man, blinking sleep from his eyes. He trembled, thinking of the weight of Grogu nestled against him, the way his eyes crinkled, the sensation of his tiny hand cradled carefully in Din’s.

“Thank you,” he said hoarsely. He grabbed Fett’s hand, and Fett pulled him to his feet with a grunt.

Up on his feet in the dawn-light, things seemed finally clear. He and Fett and Shand were formidable indeed, and there were others he could call on. A plan began to come to him, and with it, a faint sense of hope amidst the aching fear. He let out a long breath.

“My name is Din Djarin,” he said. “And I’ve got a plan.”

“Good to hear it, Djarin,” said Fett, and far above the treeline Slave I soared into view. “Let’s go hunting.”

-fin- (Partly inspired by the National song, “Baby, We’ll Be Fine: All night I lay on my pillow and pray

For my boss to stop me in the hallway

Lay my head on his shoulder and say

“Son I’ve been hearing good things”)

#din djarin #boba fett #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfiction #noromo mando #my mando fic

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lovelessdagger · 3 years

Text

Starlight - Chapter Six: Devil in Disguise

Pairing: Din Djarin x OC, Din Djarin x OFC

Rating: Mature

Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence

Warnings: Explicit Language, mentions of drug abuse

Words: 3585

Summary: In her youth, she hadn’t had the fortune of friends, or really any amicable or civilized relationship. Boarding school provided about as much of a social life as one could expect. What with Imperial propaganda as the basis of all education. Churning out brainwashed children one year after the other. When she was moved to private tutoring, she never stood a chance.

Not that she considered the Mandalorian to be a friend, she didn’t. She was lonely but not desperate.

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Read Chapter Five Here

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Something’s off with the Mandalorian, that much had been obvious since she woke. He’s avoiding her, to a much greater extent than she would have expected from him.

She doesn’t know how long she slept in his lap that night prior, how many hours have passed since Eadu. Wults. The breakdown which left her with little dignity.

All she knows is that she is alone.

The smallest part of her, the foolish part that still believed in hope and her being worthy of joy, actually thought he would be there. Greet her maybe. Give her another ration pack. Ask if she felt any better.

Say he forgave her.

She supposes she’d done a much greater deal to him than she had originally thought. All he wanted was to find other Mandalorians. Maybe find the girl he kept speaking of. That side of the dilemma was one she still hadn’t completely understood.

Feelings weren’t her forte. Certainly not positive ones.

Instead she’s alone. Convinced he’s locked himself in his bedchamber with the child.

She couldn’t blame him, not really.

She would have done the same. Actually, she would have done a lot worse.

At least Coruscant would break her back into reality. Into the future she had cemented for herself.

The entirety of her life had been a useless cycle. Wake. Meal. Lessons. Meal. Training. Meal. Meditation. Sleep. Transitioning into adulthood, circumstances only changed for the worse. Schooling was replaced with missions assigned by her father, the devil that he was. Meals grew few and far between, combatant training turned from dummies to fighting assassination droids to real people.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Working for Neri’Kelli offered little difference in routine.

Then comes in the Mandalorian. The annoyingly stubborn asshole that he is, ruining her mission, missions really. Daring to be kind to her, to give an ounce of a damn, why?

He said he cared for the girl because she was good, but what the fuck did that even mean?

Because she, for possibly the first time in her pathetic little life decided to be nice? That she she risked everything to tell Neri about him?

Was that good?

He doesn’t know her. He doesn’t know how vile she is. How sinful her soul is. How that girl is the most terrifying person she had the displeasure of knowing.

She wasn’t capable of good.

She never was. Never will be.

The funny thing about memories is how completely unreliable they can be. In memory, everything can be misconstrued in emotion, perspective, biases, intentional or not, vision is clouded. It was amazing how something so pivotal to the experience of life could just be… wrong. Objectively.

The Mandalorian’s memories, she decides, are clouded. By what she couldn’t say exactly. Ignorance, arrogance, a cocktail of both.

She can’t entertain the thought of his emotions being more than that. More positive, caring, intimate.

The girl isn’t worthy of that.

History was different. History was objective. Based in fact and reality. The assassin prided herself by working off history, not memory. Objective, emotionless stories of the past. She’s seen enough to not care for the fluff of things anymore.

Eadu was a mistake. Where history and memory became one.

Eadu tapped into that part of her again, the foolish side. The one that believed she could ever escape the Empire. That she could be normal if she wanted to.

The words of Wults circles her head, like a scratched record on repeat. “What is it with daughters presumed dead reappearing out of thin air?”

She must have been like her. The girl crying for her father. The girl whose history was stuck in the canyons, screaming for someone to listen.

Historically speaking, the exploded laboratory was a relic of the war. Rebel victory against the Empire.

But in memory, it was a girl, practically a kid really. Scared. Wanting her father. Believed to no longer exist.

A reflection the assassin would rather not think about in all honesty.

She sits in the cockpit alone, fumbling with the buttons of the Razor Crest. Radio static plays in the background, channels aren’t reachable in hyperspace but anything would be better than the ship’s eerie silence.

She should tell him.

But should and will are entirely different concepts. For starters, will requires a conscious. Morality. You didn’t get as far as her with nonsense like that.

In her youth, she hadn’t had the fortune of friends, or really any amicable or civilized relationship. Boarding school provided about as much of a social life as one could expect. What with Imperial propaganda as the basis of all education. Churning out brainwashed children one year after the other. When she was moved to private tutoring, she never stood a chance.

Not that she considered the Mandalorian to be a friend, she didn’t. She was lonely but not desperate.

He makes it to the cockpit before she can talk herself into it. The kid rests his cheek on the cold Beskar of Mando’s chest, babbling quietly into the metal. They sit behind her.

There’s no vocal acknowledgment of each other at first, nothing either could say would do justice to dispel the tension between them.

This would be the worst time to tell him. It feels too late now.

“We should be landing soon,” she says. “You got up just in time, only a few minutes until we’re out of hyperspace.”

Mando says nothing. He doesn’t nod, doesn’t do that sigh he does when he’s especially annoyed, nothing. Through the reflection in front of her, he watches the kid instead.

“We won’t be going to the club, he’s not there this late.” She rubs her hands on her thighs, fidgeting with the wrinkles she creates in the fabric. “Level 1313 isn’t the greatest place in the galaxy, the kid should stay here. It’s not safe, even with the two of us.”

Nothing.

A minute passes. ”If you’re upset about last night, I’m sorry. But I meant what I said, I’ll get you your information.” The ship beeps in the background. Five minutes until sublight.

“How am I supposed to believe anything you tell me?” Mando asks, stoic and hoarse.

“What?”

“How do I know all of this wasn’t planned? How do I know everything I know about you hasn’t been anything but lies?”

Her heart sinks into the acid of her stomach. He knew.

“Why are you helping me?” he asks.

How did he know?

“I owe you,” she says.

There was no way he could know.

“For what?” he asks.

She had been so careful.

She pauses. “Nothing. Everything.”

He hums and they fall into themselves yet again.

---

They’re on a cargo airspeeder roughly a quarter of the size of the Razor Crest. Mando doesn’t know how she managed to get one, or how they managed to bypass the New Republic tunnel checks into the Underworld. No one got in 1313, and no one left unless given a special clearance granted by the Senate.

The descent takes a total of three minutes, its enough for her to leave the operation seat and throw on a cape of her own, hooded, it covers her entire body. Her face is covered again, hair tied back and hidden. His mind felt in limbo. The duffle bag of her personals was tossed aside by the entrance. Tucked away, folded along side all her weapons and clothing, his cape had been there the entire time. It was with her.

“Stick close, even one piece of your Beskar is worth more than anyone’s life down here.”

Unless—

“I don’t need your protection,” Mando says. His eyes catches hers in their distance. There was no guarantee for his suspicions. Atikya having his cape didn’t necessarily mean she was Lumina. She could have killed her, taken a sick trophy instead.

But who was he kidding.

This whole time, she had been with him this entire time. In his ship, in his refresher, in his shirt. Asleep on his lap. With his son.

The kid.

He must have known. This whole time he knew. That’s why he’s been so attached to her. That mind reading, sorcerer, little green womp rat knew. Maybe it was one of those weird Jedi powers, recognition of… aura or something. He recognized her as someone Mando cared about and immediately assumed he should to.

And Mando let him.

It was so obvious. Sure their voices differed. Atikya fell deeper, more sultry, confident. Lumina sounded like a song, the perfect lullaby. She had sounded so hesitant, scared even. It was enough to throw him off.

Still.

Same hair, same height, same teasing manner. Stars, her laughter was exactly the same as that on Tatooine. It lit up the room in joy and filled his heart with warmth.

And her eyes. He catches them again before she turns away.

Fuck her eyes.

He couldn’t see it until she cried. Why couldn’t he see it? She had carried herself so differently in the past days. Always arguing, fighting, brushing him aside at any moment. Avoiding eye contact at all times possible… so quick to hide her appearance whenever necessary.

“Suit yourself,” she says. “I’ll get Neri to tell you what you need to know, then you leave. I don’t need you sticking around to see anything you shouldn’t. You’ll take this speeder back to the surface, no one should stop you on the way up. If they do, show them this.”

She tosses a holographic card to him, inscribed an axe symbol, blood droplets under it. On the back of the card written in gold lettering: THE HOLDER OF THIS CARD IS IN EXEMPTION OF NEW REPUBLIC ORDENACE AS DICTATED BY THE GALACTIC SENATE. In the bottom corner in gold foil, the official seal of the New Republic.

“What about you?” Mando asks.

She shrugs. “If there’s a filter in that helmet of yours, I suggest using it. If you’re not used to the air here it’ll leave you sick like hell, and that’s if you’re lucky.”

The back plank of the ship opens into the city, sprawling in smog, the air is thick. She looks back at the Mandalorian over her shoulder. Words on the brink of her lips go unspoken.

---

“My first time here I was just a girl,” Atikya narrates. Buildings are decrepit, walls covered in fungi excreting toxins, gang symbols, and shattered glass. “My father had employed the Mandalorian on your wall to help train me in stealth and combat. He brought me here to learn how to evade Imperial surveillance systems. It wasn’t always such a shithole here, there used to be police and proper businesses, families. Now it’s mainly criminals, homeless people, black market vendors. So we’re left alone.”

They walk past a group of men huddled for warmth, their hands surround a pile of old droid parts set on fire. They’re covered in dirt and soot, tattered clothes layered as if they were on Hoth. They cough and smoke, passing along bottles of alcohol. In Atikya’s passing their slurred speech turn to quiet murmurs, each one nodding their heads.

At a corner, a female Mirialan lays unmoving, stomach protruding and round. Mando stops in front of the body, he’s sick. A can by her fallen hand holds few credits.

“Shit,” Atikya curses. She kneels by the woman, her hand hovering around the body. It shakes, and her shoulders tense. She lifts the woman’s arm, littered with markings. “It’s only been a few hours, overdose.” She grabs the can, pouring its contents into her hand. “Hey!” She approaches two men on the other side of the street, tossing the credits at them. “Show the lady some respect,” she says, nodding over. “Be gentle.”

“That necklace could be worth a pretty penny,” one hisses in front of her. He lifts the Mirialan by the shoulders, the other taking her legs. “Is it available?”

“Only the jewelry. If I find out either of you stripped her I’ll hunt you myself. Understood?” They nod wordlessly, sunken eyes fearful and avoiding hers. “Good. Get out of here, she deserves to rest.” She waves them away, the men leaving with forgotten apologies.

“Where are they taking her?” Mando asks.

“The morgue. She’ll be expedited for cremation, hopefully word gets out about her by tomorrow night. We try to do blackouts whenever we find these things.”

“Blackouts?”

“Yeah. Nights where the level is silent. No selling, fights, loitering, anything that could cause a scene. Every building goes dark, depending who’s found there might be a vigil,” she explains as they walk. “Sometimes we’ll find kids, they usually get a day or so. It’s community mourning tradition.”

“That’s… really nice,” Mando says.

“No one likes seeing dead kids, or pregnant women. We might be Coruscant’s worse, but we’re not that evil. Most of us anyways.”Above, pipes rumble and clash. “We need to hurry. It’ll rain soon.”

“Rain reaches down here?”

Her head shakes. “It’s not water.”

---

Neri’Kelli’s compound, to the best of the Mandalorian’s ability can only be described as unfortunate. They enter to a foyer of gold ornate statues of naked women, framed art works lining the walls. Black tiled floors are sprinkled in flecks of gold reflecting chandeliers lighting as stars.

Two Trandoshans guard the entryway, blocking the pair in ridiculous red velvet suits. They stand with trembling hands clasped behind their backs, heads turned down.

“Move,” Atikya says.

“No can do ma’am,” one speaks up shakily. “Orders from Mr. Kelli, you’re not allowed in.”

She laughs. “Is that right? I need to talk to Neri, get out of the way.”

“I’m sorry we-“ He coughs. He coughs and coughs and coughs. Each grows increasingly more violent than the last, he coughs so much Mando starts to worry he’ll drop dead right there. His hands fumble around his throat, pulling at his collar.

“He’s in the lounge,” the other guard jumps in. The choking one stops, dropping to his knees with gasps for air.

Atikya nods, stepping over his body, Mando follows in caution.

They find the Twi’lek watching a film projected on the wall in the back of the compound. Fittingly, he thinks, it’s a horror, symphonic devastating orchestra the background of the scene. There are no guards surrounding him, no flashing lights, smoke, drinks. Just him, in the darkness of the red lighting.

Atikya sighs, tossing her bag in front of his feet. “Neri,” she says.

He looks up, grin plastered across pointed teeth. “Ayy’Numa.” He looks around. “I see you failed me, again.”

“Considering you set me up? I take it as a victory.”

“Set you up? I’m hurt. I would never do such a thing.” He’s unbothered, terribly so, more engrossed in the fake slaughter playing before him. “No bounties, no information.” He glances at Mando, “You understand don’t you?”

“Cut the shit Neri. You’re going to tell the Mandalorian everything he needs to know. No tricks. No lies.”

“And if I don’t?”

She pulls out the blaster strapped to her hips, the barrel inches away from his forehead. “I can do this the ugly way too.”

He scoffs. “I always did say I wanted to be burned by you didn’t I? But I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he chuckles.

“And why not?”

Neri leans forward, pressing a button under the table his feet rest on. There’s a loud buzz, a metal door automates open. Two men step out, the Imperial emblem on their uniforms unmistakable. Behind them, two more Trandoshans. “I’ve been in contact with old friends,” he says. Mando whips out his own blaster. “You’re selling for quite the price dear.” His fingers snap, the Imperials walk forward, guns raised to the girl. A disapproving finger wags at Mando. “Down. You shoot them or me, they shoot her.”

“You sold me?” Atikya asks, barely a whisper.

“You sold yourself the moment you tried to leave me. I did what I had to do, it was about time you learned some consequences.”

“Consequences?” She stumbles on the word. “Is that what you’re calling this? Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me?”

“No worries. I was given quite the briefing earlier. When you came here you were just a scared little girl. Look at you now, you’ll be dead without me. What was your plan when you left? You have no one but me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?” He points to Mando, a steady stride poised in his direction. “You can replace your Mandalorian friend as many times as you’d like,” he chuckles, turning back to her. “It won’t bring him back.”

“Stop it Neri,” Atikya says.

“I thought you would have given up, it’s been so many years doll. What will you do next? Find a man to replace your father?”

“Neri-“ The men grab her, one placing handcuffs, the other holding his gun to the back of her head.

“Perhaps a droid. They have the same emotional depth as him.”

“Neri you’re being cruel.”

“Cruel?” The Twi’lek laughs. “Cruel… No, no this isn’t cruel. This is deserved.” Neri cackles, he faces Mando again. “I’ve got no business with you,” he says.“Find Viroz Petiko on Canto Bight. He knows exactly where to find your Mandalorians.”

“The spice lord?”

“Aye. He’s a hermit, only comes out a few times a year. But you’re in luck. He’s hosting a ball in a fortnight. He’ll tell you all you need to know.” Neri pulls a cloth bag out of his pockets, handing credits to Mando. “I believe our contract is done.”

He looks at Atikya and nods, then to the guards who approach him. “You’re right,” he says, pocketing the money. “I’ll be on my way.”

The guards lead Mando out into the hallway, mutters are audible behind them, followed by laughter, shouting. Atikya’s voice is the main cause of the latter, curses echoing out the doorway. Then, gunshots.

Mando strikes the jaw of the first guard behind him, grabbing the gun of the other, he shoots them in the head. Its an easy enough kill, leaving the Mandalorian entirely unfazed.

He runs into the lounge, movie still projected onto the walls. In the middle of the room, a cloaked figure huddled on the ground. The bodies of the two Imperials fallen where they last stood, dead.

“Bad choice Mandalorian,” Neri’Kelli says behind him. He holds Atikya, his knife pressed against her throat. “I told you to leave.”

“Let her go.”

“Oh don’t tell me you care for her!” Neri laughs. He grabs Atikya’s chin, forcing it forward. “After all she’s done to you? You know just as well as I do how useless she is.”

“I wasn’t asking. Let her go before I blast your brains out.”

Neri clicks his tongue, “I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. I’ll give you a choice Mando. Take her,” he says, tilting his head to Atikya. ”And she dies” He looks forward to the figure who’s head moves. “Or. The other way around. Take a look, I’m sure the choice is clear. Of course you could always walk away.”

The figure breathes heavy. Cautiously, Mando walks towards her, blaster pointed out.

“I’m fine, go away,” she says. It stops his heart, sinking it deep in the dark pit of his chest. His head snaps to Neri, Atikya is still in his arms.

“Hey,” he says softly, reaching for the hood of the cape. Slowly, he pulls it down. In front of him, her face stares, a growing bruise on her cheek. “Lumina?” He asks in a whisper. She sits in front of him, face perfectly captured from memory.

“You have to leave,” she whispers. “I’ll be fine. Go.” Her words earn her a strike at the back of her head by Neri, crying out she falls forward.

Mando stands, he punches Neri in the jaw, his stumble back is enough to free Atikya. She falls on the ground, gasping. Neri chuckles, rubbing the point of impact. He aims two blasters, pointed at each of the girls. “Shoot me and they both get it. Pick your poison. Tick tock.”

Atikya sits up, looking between them all. “He took my weapons,” she says. “I can’t get out of this. Come on, use your brain for once, shoot her.”

Mando stares at her, then Lumina, then her again. He had been so sure. So positive they were one in the same. Everything added up, until now.

“Mandalorian—” Lumina says.

“I won’t hurt you,” Mando shakes his head.

Neri gasps, looking down at the assassin. “Are those feelings?” He asks, amusement trickling in his voice. “Mandalorian,” he whispers. “Don’t tell me. This is too good.”

“What is taking so long,” Atikya presses. “You met her once! She’s the whole reason any of this is happening. Shoot her!”

“Stop it,” Mando warns, facing her.

“I’m right! I’m right, I’m right,” Atikya says. She tries to stand, Neri’s blaster shoots above her head. She ducks down, glaring at the Twi’lek. “If you walk out we’re both dead anyways. I can actually help you. I have helped you this entire time. What did she do? She left you. She doesn’t care about you, if she did she would have stayed!”

“Atikya,” Mando grunts. “You’re not helping yourself.”

“Why don’t you tell him the truth,” Neri says, leaning over her. “Go on. He doesn’t know does he? Tell him.” Atikya’s head shakes, she looks away. “You want to live don’t you?” Neri asks. “Tell him the truth and it’s a guarantee.”

“Don’t,” Lumina says. “No, you can’t. Don’t say anything. Neri… Mandalorian please..”

Atikya scoffs, eyes rolling. “Not so tough now are you? Fine,” she mocks “You want to know why you should shoot her?” Her hand reaches up unwrapping her hair. “I really really really thought you knew,” she muttered. Her mess of hair falls down, then her mask. “Now do you believe me?”

No.

No. This isn’t right. This isn’t right at all. Something is wrong. Something is very very wrong. This couldn’t be possible.

And yet.

There she was. Again. Lumina. Or at least her face, just as he suspected. But…

Hesitantly, Mando’s arm raises, pointed at Lumina, or ‘Lumina’, he wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. A demented fever dream if anything.

Neri laughs manically, lowering his guns. “What a turn of events. What are you waiting for? Shoot him.”

“Get up,” Mando says, holding out his other arm for Atikya. She takes it and stands, hiding behind him. “You have a lot of explaining to do,” he mutters.

Her eyes roll. “Can we fight later?”

“You,” he says, motioning with his gun to the other girl. “Who are you?”

She swears under her breath, eyes squeezed up. She looks up at Neri, standing slowly. “You promised,” she said.

The Twi’lek shrugs. “I never promised anything.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Atikya asks tightly.

“Stupid isn’t a good look on you,” Lumina says. “Mandalorian… if you know what’s good for you, you won’t shoot me. I’m not the one who’s lying.”

“Wait… Stars I know exactly who you are,” Atikya says, stepping forward.

“Atikya wait—“ Mando starts.

“Oh please tell me you don’t actually believe her!” Atikya cries.

“You don’t believe me?” Lumina asks.

“I didn’t say that,” he huffs.

“She’s a monster Mando,” Atikya says.“Obviously this is Torek, he’s trying to fuck with you. He took my face.” She reaches back, taking his hand in her own.

And the world stands still. No flutters deep in his heart, no flickers of light across the walls. If anything it’s a boring stagnation of credits. No outside force tormenting him with what ifs and annoyance.

Nothing at all, except for one thing.

“What?” He turns to her, head tilted.

“I’m the monster?” Lumina whispers. “Do you think I’m a monster?”

Mando steps back from the two of them, his hands falling to his side. He looks between the girls, brows furrowed. He tries to study their eyes in the seconds between his words. He catches contact to Atikya, and she tilts her head questioningly. She was missing something. The spark of secrecy and depth he saw on Tatooine. Her offhanded disappointment in everything. Even the flicker of rage that sparked when she was upset.

It was like there was nothing behind them.

No thoughts, no feelings, no hidden kindness she would never admit to.

“No, never,” he answers Lumina.

“Excuse you?” Atikya frowns. “You’re fucking with me right?”

“Calm down,” Mando warns, gun to her face.

“I am calm. You’re the one being an idiot with a gun in my face!”

“C’mere,” he says to Lumina, motioning to her. He leans down to her, eyes level to each other. She tugs down the collar of her shirt, silver beaded necklace placed across her neck. The one from the vendor’s stall, stolen on Taris.

“Mando,” Atikya says. “What are you—“ Blasters fire before she can finish. The Mandalorian stands, fresh smoke waving from his blaster. The girl collapses on the ground, ending with a bullet between the eyes. The body’s form changes, brown skin turning a scaly green, face morphing reptilian.

“You should have listened when I said to leave,” Lumina says.

He hums, staring down at her. “I’ve done the leaving thing before. I won’t do it again.” He takes a pause. “Lumina?”

She nods. “Lumina,” she repeats. “Well, I’m glad you came to your senses.”

“Right. We’re talking about this later.”

“Of course we are,” she sighs, lifting her gun from the ground.

“Dammit!” Neri shouts, hitting the wall. “You ruined it!”

“I think you’re done here Neri,” Lumina pouts, stalking towards him.

“Not so fast,” Neri chuckles nervously. “I’m still all you have. It was just a little game pet. Lighten up.”

“You know, I think I’ll survive without you,” she says.

“Ayy’Numa,” he says. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret. You used to be so good to me, remember? You’re mine. We’re the same deep down, you know that.”

She leans forward, wicked smile across her lips. “I’m done being you,” she whispers. “Mandalorian?” She asks, looking back. “Will you wait outside? I have a promise I need to keep.”

He nods, squeezing her side. “Take your time.”

The last thing Mando hears when the doors shut are Neri’s blood curdling screams, and he prays she gives him hell.

CHAPTER SEVEN: PRETTY

#Mandalorian #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfiction #mando x oc #mando x ofc #mando x original character #mando x original female character #Din Djarin #din djarin x original character #din djarin x original female character #din djarin x oc #Din Djarin x ofc #Starlight #Starlight Fanfic #din djarin x reader

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pxningfo0l · 3 years

Text

Craving for more.

PLEASE DON’T COPY ON OTHER SITES.

Fandom: MHA

Ship/Pairing: Kirishima/Bakugou

Genre/Rating: kinda angsty? not really? it’s just fluff and stuff. Also jealousy.

if you wanna read on Ao3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27416458

Katsuki huffs, staring at the ceiling and willing his mind to just shut the fuck up already. It does nothing to help him.

It’s way past his bedtime, Katsuki doesn’t need to know what time it was to know that. He’d been exhausted, ready to collapse onto his bed and sleep for eternity, but the second he got comfortable in his bed, his mind decided now was a good time to think about everything, and nothing.

It annoyed the fuck out of him. He tossed and turned, and growled to himself. He just couldn’t sleep.

Eventually, he groans, more loudly and dramatic than necessary. He bolts from his bed, shoving his duvet roughly. Pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes tightly, then running a hand through his messy blond locks, he paces around his room.

He considers working out, then decides he’s not bothered enough for that. Watching videos and movies until he falls asleep? Nah.

Katsuki stops pacing, gazing at the door. Maybe a cup of tea could help.

He opens the door slowly, careful not to make too much noise. He slowly makes his way to the kitchen, but freezes in his tracks when he hears something.

Voice. Hushed voices.

Feeling the strange need to be unseen, Katsuki tiptoes to the kitchen. He stops at a safe distance, and cranes his neck to see-

Red.

Red hair. Kirishima.

And he’s talking to someone. Someone with annoyingly bright green hair.

Something twists in Katsuki’s gut. He leans closer, trying to hear what Kirishima and Deku, of all people, were whispering about. Gritting his teeth when he can’t hear them at all.

Then, he registers Deku’s pale body tremble, and Katsuki immediately knows that the nerd is crying. He’s proven right when he hears a pitiful sniffle.

And Kirishima- stupidly supportive, friendly, caring, Kirishima Eijirou- smiles wistfully, and pulls Deku into his arms.

The twist in Katsuki’s gut worsens. Liquid fire rushes through his veins, and the need to seperate the two overwhelmed him suddenly. It didn’t make it any better that Deku was so short he reached Kirishima’s collarbone, and it certainly didn’t lessen the feeling when Deku’s arms came to wrap around Kirishima’s middle.

Hugging. They were hugging. Deku’s face was buried in Kirishima’s chest and he was shaking and crying, and Kirishima was humming softly, moving his hand in an up and down motion on Deku’s back.

Katsuki felt sick. He felt nauseous. He was going to fucking puke. He needed them to seperate, and he needed it now.

He considers exploding something, preferably Deku’s stupid face, but then, he blanks when Deku moves out of Kirishima’s grip, and his teary eyes flicker to him.

Feeling himself go stiff, Katsuki doesn’t say a word. He narrows his eyes, daring Deku to say anything.

Deku does end up saying something, but he doesn’t mention Katsuki, much to his great relief. Katsuki knows this because the green-haired boy smiles at Kirishima, something that makes Katsuki feel slightly sicker. He pats the redhead on the shoulder, saying something along the line of “goodnight,” or whatever. Then, green eyes flicker to him again, and Deku starts walking towards his direction.

He stands completely still, not moving but glaring daggers at Deku, who offers him a small tired smile, eyes crinkling in a way Katsuki considered knowing, and he hated it. It made him feel exposed, like Deku knew everything about something Katsuki didn’t even know himself.

Deku leaves. Katsuki finds himself staring at Kirishima, who’s back is turned to him. He watches Kirishima sigh heavily, shoulders slumping, and Katsuki has barely enough time to react because Kirishima in then turning around.

Garnet eyes meet his. Katsuki’s heart skips a beat.

Kirishima blinks at him. Katsuki blinks back.

“Dude.” Kirishima breathes, running a hand through his red hair. Katsuki briefly wonders if it’s soft. “You scared me.”

Katsuki scoffs and rolls his eyes. He steps into the kitchen, walking passed Kirishima and dutifully ignoring the remaining twist in his gut. He gathers the things to make the tea, ignoring the way he felt eyes drilling into his soul.

“How long were you there?”

He doesn’t face Kirishima, but his movements falter, just for a brief moment. “Not that long. Why do you care?”

It’s more a demand than a question, but Katsuki’s curiosity is blatantly obvious. “No reason.” Kirishima hums softly. “It’s just- uh.” He trails off.

Katsuki looks at him then. Kirishima is looking down, chewing at his bottom lip in thought. He wonders how the redhead hasn’t broken skin yet.

But, no rational thought except one remains in Katsuki’s mind. Kirishima doesn’t want him to know what happened with Deku.

The realisation causes the feeling in his gut to increase tenthfold. This, along with an ache in his chest, one he can’t recognise.

(Or maybe he doesn’t want to.)

He sighs, looking away from the other boy, instead choosing to stare at a spot on the floor. He knows what this feeling is. Has felt it too many times to count. And for some stupid, fucked up reason, it always has something to do with Deku. Deku, and his new quirk. Deku, and his quirk that he got from All might. Deku, and his victories. Deku, and the way he was just in Kirishima’s arms, somewhere Katsuki would kill to be-

Suddenly, there’s a grip on his arms. Katsuki snaps his head up, and is face to face with Kirishima.

Close. Too close. He’s standing way too close.

“Bakugou?” His breathe wafts over Katsuki, and makes his shiver. He hopes Kirishima can’t feel the rise of goosebumps on his arms. “You okay?”

He scoffs and looks away. “Obviously. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Can you look at me then?”

Fuck. Katsuki doesn’t think he can do that. Nonetheless, he turns his head slowly and meets Kirishima’s concerned gaze. Something skips in his chest. He can’t look away.

Kirishima’s eyes are pretty. Really pretty. Red like his Katsuki’s own, but a different kind. Red like the shimmering sunset, red like rubies or garnets, red like candied apples. Looking so closely, Katsuki notes the barely there flecks of golden-brown in Kirishima’s eyes.

“You’re my friend too, Bakugou.”

Katsuki barely realises that Kirishima had spoken. He blinks rapidly, processing the words. “I’m friends with a lot of people, and you’re one of them.” He continues, still gripping at Katsuki’s arm. The touch burns. “Maybe even my best friend.”

And Katsuki forgets how to breathe. Kirishima is so so close, and he’s smiling, and it’s different from this close.

He hates himself for thinking beautiful, and he especially hates himself when he finds that the twist in his gut- jealousy - has still not disappeared. Lessened, yes, but it hasn’t disappeared. Rather, it’s being replaced with a different emotion.

Longing.

He longs for more. He wants more from Kirishima. He doesn’t want to be just friends. Katsuki wants more.

More of what though, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to know. Not now. Probably not ever.

It’s selfish as fuck, but he craves for it. Still, he finds himself nodding, and Katsuki immediately feels his knees go weak when Kirishima’s smile widens.

He can’t help the way his eyes drop, just for a moment. He wonders what it would feel like to kiss that smile.

Fuck. What? Kiss? Where did that come from?

But there’s no time to consider why he just thought about that, because then his mind is swirling with more thoughts about what it would feel like to kiss Kirishima. To feel his lips against Katsuki’s, to feel his sharp teeth scraping his mouth, to feel his hot breathe waft over him.

Katsuki can’t think, can’t breathe. He needs to get away, because if he stays this close to Kirishima any longer, he might actually kiss him.

“You’re tea’s gone cold.” Kirishimsa says, like Katsuki it totally not having a goddamn mental breakdown. The redhead steps away then, much to Katsuki’s relief and disappointment. He feels cold suddenly.

He sighs and grabs his tea, downing it in three large gulps. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he turns to Kirishima.

“I’m gonna head back.”

The other nods, smiling softly. Fuck, why does he always have to smile? “Alright. Goodnight then.”

Katsuki lets himself stare for a few more seconds, taking in the sight of Kirishima at this late hour, then nods, muttering a “‘night.”

He makes his way back to his room, exhaustion settling into his bones. Crawling into his bed, Katsuki sighs and closes his eyes.

The last thought before he falls asleep is Kirishima, and his stupidly pretty smile.

-------------------------------------------------------

“Midoriya?”

There’s a yelp, too loud for a time like this. Eijirou winces apologetically, stepping towards Midoriya and patting his shoulder a few times.

“Kirishima.” Midoriya breathes, hand at his chest.

Eijirou chuckles softly. “Sorry bro. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright.” Waves the green-haired boy dismissively. “Why’re you awake at his hour?”

“Should be asking you the same thing.” Eijirou leans back onto the counter, noticing the paleness of the other boy, and the dark bags under his eyes. “You okay?”

He receives a too-fake smile in response. Midoriya opens his mouth, presumably to say something along the lines of “I’m fine.”, but then he closes it, sighing heavily.

After a brief moment of silence, Midoriya shakes his head. He avoids eye contact with Eijirou.

Hesitating for a second, Eijirou asks, “You wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t-“ Midoriya cuts himself off, running a hand through his messy green hair and sighing in frustration. “I don’t know.”

“You can if you want to.” Eijirou comforts, crossing his arms and leaning back onto the counter. “Swear I won’t tell anyone.”

The freckled boy smiles, but it’s small, so unlike his normally enthusiastic smile. “I know you won’t.” He chews at his lip, staring down at the floor. “I…Sometimes I can’t sleep.”

Eijirou nods in understanding, waiting patiently for the other to continue. “Nightmares. I get nightmares about so many things, and I know it’s not real but it’s still so scary. I don’t…I don’t know what to do.” Inhaling a shuddering breathe, Midoriya hunches in on himself. Eijirou struggles to stop from smothering the other in hugs, allowing him to keep speaking. “I’ve always wanted to be a hero, and I knew there was going to be pressure, but I wasn’t expecting this much.”

Eijirou now notices the tremble in Midoriya’s body. The second he sees the tears, he reacts without moving and pulls the small boy into his arms, rubbing his back in a soothing motion.

His own eyes prick with tears of empathy. He knows very well what that feeling is, but this isn’t about him, so he hums and continues his actions, ignoring the growing dampness on his shirt.

Eventually, Midoriya pulls away. He smiles softly, seeming relieved. Eijirou’s shoulders slump in relief too, happy to see his classmate- his friend- feeling a better, even if it’s a bit.

“Thanks, Kirishima.” Midoriya says, smiling and patting his shoulder. Eijirou opens his mouth to reply, but he couldn’t. The boy had left quickly, almost like he was in a hurry. Strange.

Eijirou sighs, suddenly finding himself really tired. He turns around and-

Crimson eyes. Staring right at him. Eijirou’s heart skips a traitorous beat.

Bakugou.

#kiribaku #Kirishima Eijirou #bakugou katsuki #kiribaku fanfic #pining bakugou #midoriya izuku #mha #bnha #mha fanfiction #lmao #idk

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thirsthourdemon · 4 years

Text

What makes ‘us’ us.

Includes: Tendou x reader, platonic!shiratorizawa x reader

Genre: Monster!Au, fluff, angst if you want it to be, smut

Warning: Discrimination, sexual acts, mentioning of sexual scenes, mentions of prostitution, violence

Summary: When a mysterious girl appears before the shiratorizawa vbc claiming to be a monster it almost sounds like bullshit but as weird as it sounds they really were taking in a whole new member that seems out of the ordinary.

A/N: This was something I’ve wanted to try for a while. I love monsters btw HAHAHAHA If ya’ll haven’t noticed yet. Beasts, monsters, aliens. I love em. They’re just so cool! Anyways...Please enjoy because I cried a few times to finish this 😔

“King?” You stare blankly at the tall olive haired male. He appeared to be a king of some sort. His presence was so authoritative and commanding that it would be weird for him not to be a king. “Wakatoshi-kun? Who’s this~ oh ho ho~” The red haired monster??? It appears to be an Akao. A rare sight for an akao to talk to a human but you knew that you should take any chance you get. The red monster...Seemed to approach the human king??? They both stared at your shivering almost naked body. “I dont know. I just saw her beside the locker room” olive haired person responded, trying to stand up you walked up to the one with ruby hair. “A-a...re? Y...you...like me?” You tried reaching your hand out to him. However once your hand has collided with his skin your body had quickly shifted back to your original form. Big pointed ears, three eyes, ridiculously long hair with light peach like skin. They were both shocked and took a step back. “Huh?! I cant glow like that and get wings, right wakatoshi-kun?” The ‘wakatoshi’ king nodded and confused you cocked your head to the side.

“Y-you’re a monster! Like me!” You point out to the ruby head. “That’s enough” the ‘wakatoshi’ spoke up ,though the tone of his very much like a king to his subjects, and due to the fright you immediately turned back to your old ‘human’ like form. “What are you? Who are you and why have you come here? Answer us” his commanding voice made you fearful so quickly you provided the answers to his questions.

“I-Im...a...momoshi. A peach angel in the english language. We’re monsters and we are drawn to mate with other monsters called Akao. A red king. Y-You had a red king here so I...” You stare at the ruby boy again.

“A-a monster? Like in manga???” The suspected Akao speaks beside the human king. You couldn’t wait any longer! You had to get his seed before time run out. Even if you had to beg for it. “Oh great akao! Please! Please mate with me! My time will run out soon! I need to bear your seed!” “Haaa?!” He was confused as he looked back to the human king.

Oh of course! The human king was keeping the Akao! You had to ask permission first! “Magnificent human king! Please allow me to mate with your Akao! I promise to return him once I am filled with his seed!” Exclaiming excitedly. You were sure that he would agree however he was only showing you the human facial expression of confusion. The sound of human foot steps draw near, all you could do was hide behind the red king. “T-tendou-san, who is behind you?” Another tall human appears with a few others. One you’ve noticed seemed to be a prince?

“Prince tomu?” You came out of your hiding spot, barely clothed except a sheer piece of cloth to cover your south. “Oh~ Tsutomu! You know her?” The humans looked at him with anticipation for his answer however it seems like everyone was even more startled with you had quickly kissed the ‘prince’ with such minimal clothing on.

“I-I umm...I...I dont! I...ughhh...” The prince was almost as red as the akao’s hair but you did not understand that. Normally the princes and kings greeted that way?

Everyone was left with confusion, little to no answers, a very red tsutomu, a naked girl that was supposed to be a “monster” and boners from seeing the beautiful being who appeared out of no where.

—————————-

A few days of being taken in by the “Volleyball” team of shiratorizawa, and you had grown attacked to the ‘human king’ ushijima-san and your hoping-to-be red king mate tendou-san though he did offer the nickname tori you didnt want to seem rude to a red king. Tendou and everyone else in their “Volleyball” team kept on explaining to you that tendou was human but you knew an akao when you saw one. You were not easily fooled. Despite your ignorance to the information satori decided to let you stay with him at their dorm until you’re ready to go.

Letting you stay was just a step though. Their curiosity was so strong that subtly they had decided to study you.

Slowly enough they learned more about you through your movements.

You were really soft and you emitted a peach-summer scent whenever your body thought it was necessary. For example, you being all alone with tendou. This scent however was also an aphrodisiac as it was mostly emitted during mating but considering these people were more or less humans they didn’t really feel the way the air would seem warmer in these instances.

“Y/N” you cocked your head as tendou looked at you straight in the eye. “That’s your name for now. Y/N.” His highness said all the while they were getting ready to go to school.

They weren’t really surprised at your little habits anymore though.

You kissing them on their way out was still weird but

you had to explain to them that it was mandatory to greet kings that way! Them not wanting to offend you they just offered to be kissed like a peck instead. As you pecked both of them out carefully you took off the ‘clothes’ they lent you. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable here...

The beds were a bit tight due to you sleeping beside tendou.

The food was always ‘cooked’? What was ‘cooked’? Apparently it was putting the food on fire? It was such a weird concept. Why would you do that to fresh meat?! Meat is best eaten fresh in your opinion. You didn’t really like this place all that much due to how strange it was but you had to mate with that strange red king! Morphing into your natural form you start picking at your wings. Made of pure energy and hard like platinum. What time would they come back this time?

————————-

Waiting for them felt like forever, honestly. Closing your eyes and curling up on the floor you felt your forms glitch between each other.

Soon...if you didn’t mate thats all you would ever be...a defective. A glitch. A virus. The village would never take you back like that and this human world would only leave you to rot.

Momoshis were never appreciated in this world. Only used for the pleasures of man.

“I...have to...be worthy to s-sta...y...alive...” sleep talking tendou was figuring how to pick you up, your form was glitching. He’d seen in before but he would always be there to take care of it though. “You are worthy, Y/N...”

The ruby haired boy knew exactly what it felt like to be a monster too. Growing up almost everyone would regard him as one. The constant struggle of being so strong yet so weak everyday. Taking the perfect moment to kiss your lips to wake you up so you could transfer to the bed. He just whispered you some instructions and went to the bathroom to freshen himself up.

What he didnt expect when he came back was for you to be in your original form, teary eyed, wings drooping, your peach scent oozing from behind you and your trembling legs. “My king...please...” you pleaded feeling your instincts eat up all sense of rational thought you had.

Begging and grovelling. Your eyes turn into a certain shade of pink while your flustered cheeks inch towards the beautiful akao. “I-im...al...ready prepared...” quick to show your bare back and almost.

Key word: Almost. Almost showing him your dripping wet sex.

Foiling your plans however was credited to the human king, himself. He only stared and went straight to the bathroom. “Ehem~ Y/N, lets get you back on your feet yeah? You even took off your clothes again.” “I...I...just... need to be worthy please...” those cold teardrops travel down your pretty cheeks. Your sobs could be heard throughout the whole room and only a had to your back rubbing circles were used to make you feel safer.

“You are worthy. You’re a monster, thats easy for you. I was called a monster when I didn’t want to...” he pauses when you lift up your head, slowly morphing back to your human form.

“Humans are scarier” you tried to laugh through your nervousness.

“We are, aren’t we? But monsters are only monsters because we couldn’t understand you...Monsters aren’t all that scary once you get to know them, no?~” he looks at you with the same warmth he had the moment he asked if he could take you in. The same warmth that you feel whenever you fell asleep beside him. The same warmth when he talked to his friends.

“Platinum like wings, weird facial features, left handedness...those are what makes ‘us’ Us, Y/N” Ushijima butts in. Your eyelids heavy and body tired. They both hoist you up with their arms making sure to handle with care. As you lay on satori’s bed the two exchanged a look.

We have to protect them.

Taglist: @janellion @my-mass-hysteria @anianimol

36 notes · View notes

adarlingwrites · 3 years

Text

Absolution

Summary:

noun: formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment

The Capital Wasteland lauded the Lone Wanderer as a hero, a Messiah, a savior who's willing to give her life for the Good Fight. Beyond the legends, the propaganda, and the mythification that surrounded her legacy, there is only one person who knew her bare soul. She gave him his absolution, and now he will fight for hers.

XXI

January 5, 2278.

Fifteen minutes past midnight, we went home. After cleaning up and sharing a dinner of noodles and beer, Percy didn’t waste any time counting all the ammo she saved for emergencies, while I tended to our weapons and gear. Around three in the morning, I was ready to retire, but Percy’s still slouched over the workbench, recycling old microfusion cells as she sipped on scotch, straight from the bottle.

“Percy,” I call her attention, placing a hand at her shoulder.

“Oh!”

I must’ve interrupted her.

“What do you need, big guy?”

“I suggest that you get some rest. Long day tomorrow.”

“Mhmm. Just a few more minutes,” she replies, back still turned against me.

I was ready to get to my room, but then Percy leans her head against my chest. “Charon, what if I die from this?”

My throat tightens at the thought, and I place both hands on her shoulders, giving them a squeeze. “You’re not going to. I’m here to ensure that.”

“Thanks. But let’s say I do. What will happen to you, when your contract holder dies?”

I pause. I let my hands fall to my side. My friend turns around and looks up to me, her glasses cloudy from the cold.

I’m debating myself on whether this should be her business or not. I’ve seen parts of her that shouldn’t be for my eyes. Percy had let me see her at her most vulnerable moments, while she only shows her can-do attitude to everyone else. And yet, she knows so little about me. I think I’m being unfair.

Dammit. This is what I fucking get for letting what I feel about my employers get to me, regardless whether it’s positive or not.

I shouldn’t be divulging information to my employers more than what’s necessary, but when I look at my friend before me, I feel an urge to share the parts of myself I couldn’t even confront.

“Back then, the death of whoever held it meant failure to obey the standing order to protect that person, and would result in my termination as well. But something has changed along the way. The day the bombs fell, we were ordered to hold our contracts, and wait until someone comes to claim it. They never came.”

Percy nods her head, motioning me to continue. I start to pace around, struggling to remember the details after that.

“I… I wandered aimlessly for I don’t know how long. I was dying, lost in a desert when a group of survivors found me. They found my contract, and when I came to, the conditioning kicked in. I will serve them, and will continue to do so until I fail. When I do, the order to hold my contract until someone claims it takes effect again.”

Her brows knitted together, mouth curled into a frown. There’s a sadness in her eyes. She’s pitying me again.

Not pity. I don’t need that.

“You don’t need to pity me,” I said, and her eyes grew wide in surprise.

“I’m not- I don’t pity you, Charon. I’m just trying to imagine what you’ve gone through, and I can’t fathom how terrible that must be.”

“It’s better that you don’t.”

Arms wrapped around my waist from behind, and I freeze in my tracks. Percy’s soft and warm, and she presses against my back. I can feel the tightness in my chest melting away.

“I want to understand you better,” she whispers.

I should be keeping my distance after our talk about our professional relationship in Doc Barrows’ clinic. Instead, I turn around and pull her in an embrace, pressing her face against my chest as gently as possible. I’m not a gentle person, but for this angel, I can try.

Damn, can we stay like this forever?

“Let’s get some rest,” I tell her, and let her go, dragging my feet to my quarters.

“Do you want to sleep next to me again?” Percy asks.

I felt my heart starting to race.

For someone who said that I shouldn’t act on what I feel for her, she’s giving me a lot of mixed signals. I don’t know what to do with them. What does she even want?

One day I’ll get the courage to ask her that to her face, but for now, I just shook my head.

“I wish to be alone with my thoughts,” I tell her, and she nods.

She smiles, but the slump in her shoulders tells me about her dejection.

“Okay. Offer still stands. Good night.”

I couldn’t sleep after that.

Lying on a mattress wasn’t as comforting as it used to be. Or maybe it’s because there isn’t the warm weight of another person next to me.

Fuck.

I’ve gone soft.

I heard a soft sigh through the thin walls of the house, and I was ready to get up and comfort Percy, thinking she was crying again. But I heard her keen and moan, and I lay like a rock in my spot.

Like I said, the walls are thin. This isn’t the first time I can hear her touching herself. I understand that she has her needs; the skin mags she looks out for says enough. It’s not my business.

I’d be lying if I said that the sounds she makes didn’t fuel my imagination for months.

Tossing and turning, I took a ratty blanket and pulled it over my head, intending to block the noise out, and screwed my eyes shut. I hate this feeling. I’ve never felt it before I met this woman. All this… longing.

My eyes shot open when I heard her sigh my name.

So that confirms it.

But, why me?

The previous employers that had used me for pleasure are the unsavory, depraved types. They would never look me in the eye. They’d say degrading shit. They never said my name.

Percy is not one of those. She’s the fucking “Wasteland Avenger” or “Wasteland Angel” or “Savior of the Wastes” or whatever damn epithet people want to give her. People look up to her.

For those reasons, hearing her moan my name feels forbidden.

Her invitation to sleep next to her is becoming more tempting. I know it’s not an invitation to be intimate with her, but the past few weeks have been shit. I want something to go right just for damn once.

I heard her gasp my name again and I took it as my cue.

My feet took me to her room as fast as it could. It was dark, save for the sliver of moonlight that seeped through the roof.

“Percy, you called for me?” I ask her.

I hear frantic shifting of fabric, clattering, and her PipBoy light goes off.

“Charon! I uh… um, I thought you were already asleep I- did you…”

I take cautious steps towards the bed, and sit on the edge, the rickety frame creaking under my weight.

“How much did you hear?” she asks me, near whispering.

“Everything,” I said, telling her the truth.

“Wait, all this time you’ve been hearing me- oh God.”

“Yes,” I murmured. “I didn’t mean to. The walls are thin.”

Percy rubs her face, then she squints, reaching for her glasses. She takes a long, hard look at me. Neither of us are breaking the silence; this angel is within my reach and yet she feels so distant.

Finally, she speaks up. “God, this is awkward. Can we pretend none of this ever happened?”

I gulped. I don’t want to.

“No,” I assert, looking her in the eye and holding her gaze. My friend tears her eyes away from me and rubs the back of her neck.

“I guess there’s no point hiding it. I think you’re attractive, Charon.”

My breath hitches at my throat and it comes out as a disbelieving laugh. “Crazy smoothskin.”

Percy chuckles at my remark.

“What now?” she asks me.

My eyes flick to her lips, to her pale throat, down to the her nipples poking from under her shirt. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to ask her to join me in acting on the dirtiest thoughts I had for her, but the rational part of my mind holds.

“How long?” I dared to ask her.

“I’m not sure. I know I felt something the first time I bumped into you in Underworld. But I haven’t really thought about it until around November. What about you? When did it start?”

“When you walked into Underworld with that stupidly tight stealth armor. I couldn’t stop staring at your ass.”

Percy snorted. “Really?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at myself quietly too.

“What the hell did you find attractive about me?” I ask her, still in disbelief at my damn luck.

“Well… there’s just something about the way you carry yourself I guess?”

I raise a brow in response.

“Your bone structure. You look strong and steady and I like that.”

Now I’m tilting my head and smirking.

“And you’re gruff and scary and intimidating and I find it hot,” she blurts out.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “So you find any tall, scary ghoul you find intimidating hot?”

“God, no. Just you. Always been you.”

The sincerity of her words is too much.

All those months of letting me act on my own accord is starting to kick in. I reach for her face, my rough, radiation-damaged fingers caressing her soft cheek, and she leans into the touch. I dared to press my thumb against her bottom lip, savoring its texture, imagining what it would feel against mine. As gently as I could, I tilt her head, pressed my cheek against her neck, and took a deep breath as her small hands flew to my shoulders, squeezing and kneading the tense muscles.

I press my mouth against her neck and she pushes me away.

“Stop. We should stop. You and I both know acting on what we feel now would screw things up,” she interrupts, somber.

I exhaled sharply, nodding and keeping my distance. “Fine. Then please stop giving me hope.”

“What?”

“This. Touching me, asking me to sleep next to you… I’m starting to think you’re leading me on.”

Percy scoffs at my accusation, crossing her arms.

“I’m not!” Percy exclaims. “I’m just saying that it isn’t a possibility now. Right now, I’m your doctor and employer. It would make our relationship unequal.”

“And I am centuries older than you,” I hissed back at her. “There are people who would consider that astoundingly unequal too.”

“Then that makes it twice as wrong! This isn’t multiplication where you take two negatives and it becomes a positive.”

“I have no idea what the hell you just said,” I snarled. “But what I know is I want you. So don’t give me hope unless you’re going to follow through. Please.”

Percy went quiet, still as a statue where she sits. With wide eyes, she gazes into mine.

“Say that again?” she demands.

“Say what again?”

“You said, ‘I want you’. You… you rarely tell me what you want.”

Oh.

“God, Charon I want you too…” Percy starts, moving to the edge of the bed to sit next to me.

“Fuck whatever the hell people say, you should know by now that I’ll defend you against all the fucking ghoul bigots in the world,” she continues, leaning her head against my bare shoulder.

“Weeks ago I would’ve agreed to this, but things have gotten too crazy. From your contract, to dad dying, to getting jumped by those Talon mercs, to the shit we’re planning for Paradise Falls, to Project fucking Purity… There's too much going on. I don’t want to compromise our objectives because of what I feel.”

“I understand.” My heart’s going to fucking burst from my chest.

“I’m not going to be upset if you don’t want to do this anymore when it’s all over. But, please, could we wait?”

I’d wait forever for her, if I can. I’ve waited two centuries for someone like her without even knowing that I needed it. I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is plain lust or something more, but I need her.

“Yes.”

“Thank you. I don’t want to ruin what I have with you now.”

“What do we have now, Percy?” I ask her.

“I’m not sure. But I told you that I want to be your partner, right? Let’s work on that.”

Grunting in response, I slouch, resting my elbows on my knees. After a few moments, I turned to her again.

“May I still sleep next to you?”

My partner laughs softly, and moves back to her spot on the bed. Her small hand pats the mattress, on the empty space next to her.

“Of course.”

Back turned from each other, she falls asleep first. I could tell from her soft snores.

An hour later, I still couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about the things she said.

I lie facing the door out of habit. During the training I was forced to take part in, it was drilled in our heads, making us better prepared for intruders and ambushes.

Close to sleep, I was alerted by a soft whimper coming from her.

When I turned to look at her, her brows are furrowed and her eyes are screwed shut.

“No,” she murmurs, and I listen closely. “Get away from him… Don’t hurt Charon.”

She’s having a nightmare. About me getting hurt.

Grumbling, I shifted my body so that her back was pressed to my chest, and I draped an arm around her.

“Shh. I’m here, and we’re okay,” I whisper.

Percy’s whimpers die down to sighs, and we remain like that for more than a few minutes. I felt dirty, watching her sleep, but seeing her strained face relax eases my nerves.

At some point, I fell asleep. It was a dreamless one.

The next morning, I woke up slowly, eyes adjusting to the brighter rays that came through the cracks on the roof.

A leg is draped over my hip, her face pressed against my chest, and an arm around my waist.

To my surprise, Percy is still asleep next to me. It’s a rare occurence for me to rise earlier than she does.

I look at her PipBoy in the open drawer next to us. Ten fifty two in the morning.

We were supposed to be up by nine.

My hand on her shoulder, I give her a shake. “Percy, wake up.”

My friend stirs awake, stretching her limbs. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost eleven.”

Percy practically jumps out of bed.

“Oh fuck! C’mon, let’s get ready.”

I went to my room. I put on the black shirt Percy gave me, the sleeves already torn away, and proceeded to put on the rest of my armor. As I was walking through the door, I saw the ushanka on the bed side table, and grabbed that too.

Time to talk to Church.

#lone wanderer #female lone wanderer #charon #fallout charon #charon fallout #fallout 3 charon #charon fallout 3 #oc: percy zhou #fanfic: absolution #series: through river acheron #fallout #fallout 3 #fallout fanfic #writers on tumblr

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silavut-the-wizard · 3 years

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Silavut the Wizard, Chapter 14

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

The Storm

The next morning as they broke camp, they discussed their next move. Should they stay on the main road or take a shortcut that neither knew anything about? They debated for a while and finally decided it would be best to stay on the main road.

As they travelled, the sky became thick and grey with clouds. They could hear thunder in the distance. The cold rain started light and first, but soon became a downpour, making them wet and miserable. They had donned their cloaks, which weren’t much help in this weather. The gloomy day made for slow, miserable travel. Besides necessary words, the two were silent, neither in the mood for chatter.

Silavut began to wonder if all this was worth defeating an insane sorceress. Where was she, anyway? Were they really going in the right direction? What was so special about the library Sehlan mentioned? So many questions tumbled through his head.

He glanced over at Sehlan who looked lost in her own thoughts as well. Her head was down and eyes closed. Was she sleeping? No; she opened her eyes and looked over at him. They held each other’s blank gaze for a moment before looking ahead again.

The horses just plodded along with their riders and they seemed content doing just that.

There was a bright flash followed by a loud thunderclap that practically blinded and deafened the group. Suddenly the rain was a deluge and the horses had trouble keeping their footing. The riders were barely able to rein them in and hold steady. These really are great horses, Silavut thought. The rain was now so loud, any kind of conversation was nearly impossible. Even shouting could barely be heard.

Sehlan rolled her eyes and pointed towards the wood line. Silavut nodded and they carefully made their way over to the trees. It took some doing, but after nearly half an hour and several near mishaps, they finally made it. Being under the trees wasn’t a perfect solution but it helped. The rain wasn’t as heavy as the trees took the brunt of it, but they still got a downpour from what came through.

There was no telling how long the rain would last, so they dismounted and figured they may as well eat. The ground was too wet to do anything with, so they ate standing up. They got out the horses’ rations and let them eat as well.

As they ate, the two kept glancing at each other, neither sure what to say. The storm had certainly put a damper on their conversation skills. Silavut turned around and carefully leaned back on his horse and sighed. He had so much going on in his head. The dream about Vorin. Vorin’s warning about the spell book. Defeating the sorceress. What Sehlan had mentioned about the curse. Sehlan herself. He had so much going on in his head, he could barely think straight.

He once again remembered Vorin’s teachings about logic. Stop. Take a mental step back. Organize everything into a logical order. Go step by step. Unfortunately it wasn’t quite so easy this time. He couldn’t concentrate due to being wet and miserable and the jumbled thoughts. They kept getting mixed up and he couldn’t get them to line up.

Sehlan watched Silavut struggle with something. As much as she wanted to help, she wasn’t sure how she could. She didn’t know what was going on in his head, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. If she did, though, maybe she could help him figure things out. She kept going in circles on this train of thought. The only other thing she was concerned about was defeating the sorceress. Or was it? She hadn’t normally cared for anyone like she had her mother or the old woman but found herself starting to care for this strange, curious man. Could she get him to reveal his secrets? Would she reveal hers? She chewed her lip as she got lost in thought.

Another flash, not quite so bright, and a deep rumbling of thunder, not quite so loud. How long had it been now since they stopped? The rain eased up but didn’t quite stop.

Sehlan gingerly tapped Silavut on the shoulder. He jumped, startled by her touch. She laughed as he slipped and nearly fell, grabbing the reins to keep from going in the mud. He sheepishly grinned.

“Hey,” she said, “the rain’s let up. Shall we go and see if the road’s flooded out?”

He nodded. “Sure. Should we leave the horses or take them with us?”

“We better take them with, just to be safe.”

“All right. Let’s go see what we can see.”

As they left the cover of the woods, the rain was still pouring, but not nearly as heavy now. The road wasn’t flooded, but not easily travelled, either. Without proper traction, they would surely have a hard time going anywhere.

“So what do we do now?” Sehlan asked, more to herself.

More lightning and thunder overhead. The rain came down slightly harder again.

“Will this storm ever end today?” she yelled at the sky in frustration.

Silavut could only look on, helpless. He had no idea what to do at this point. Wizardry couldn’t change the weather or fix the road; it didn’t work like that. After some thinking on it, the only advice he could give was, “We just have to keep moving.”

“How? The road is nearly washed out—”

“We’ll find a way,” Silavut said calmly.

Sehlan never liked wet weather, it always made her miserable and cranky, and this storm was certainly no exception. If it would stop, it wouldn’t be so bad. It looked it might go on forever. There were no breaks in the clouds for as far as they could see. It was endless sea of grey, wet misery.

Attempting to ride the horses proved a failure; they couldn’t move through the mud as easily. Thus they trudged on foot, their feet squelching through the mud with every step. Hanging onto their packs and the horses’ reins was all they could do to keep from falling. Though it was slow, moving kept them from freezing. The rain kept fluctuating—light, heavy, pouring, light… It just kept going.

Sehlan’s demeanor kept deteriorating. Silavut wondered if there was anything he could do to help lighten the mood but he kept coming up empty. They trudged on in silence, save for a curse here and there from Sehlan.

Then she stepped on something that made her slip, lose her grip and fall, covering her in mud. Silavut heard the commotion, looked over to see what happened, and barely held his composure from bursting out with laughter. He carefully made his way to her. In that short time, she had gone to full on cursing, rambling and screaming with rage, frustration and misery. She was slamming her fists in the mud. Tears were streaming down her face. She put her muddy hands up to her face and started bawling.

“Hey, come on. It’s OK. Are you hurt?”

Sehlan shook her head.

Silavut tried reaching down to try and help her up. “Come on. Let’s get you up out of that cold, icky mud.”

Nodding and wiping her nose on her muddy sleeve making a mud-stache, she reached for his grip, but the mud on her hands made it too slippery. He nearly fell over himself on top of her.

“Hold on, I have an idea.” He manoeuvred the horses so she was between them. “Grab the reins.”

She grabbed the reins and he coaxed them forward. Their combined pulling helped get her unstuck and off the ground. She was still crying and her tears left clean streaks on her face.

“There, see. You’re OK,” Silavut soothed. “Let’s see if we can find shelter, or at least a place to camp. Maybe the storm will let up in the morning.” He handed her a clean cloth from their pack.

Sehlan wiped away the mud-stache, blew her nose, and sniffled. Silavut helped her get herself right again before moving on. She was still mud-coated and miserable, and sadly mumbling about the weather, but at least she wasn’t hurt and could still walk.

A couple hours later they found a small cottage that seemed abandoned.

“Hey! Look there!” Silavut pointed towards it. “See, I knew we’d find something. Let’s get inside and out of these wet clothes. We’ll get cleaned up and you’ll feel better. Maybe there’s even a fireplace we could use.”

Sehlan sniffled again and nodded.

They found a place to tether the horses and grabbed their gear. Sure enough, as they entered, they saw there was a fireplace. Silavut got the fire going while Sehlan stripped off the wet, muddy garments. Luckily there was also a washroom with a water tank. She quickly washed up and dressed into a clean set and sent Silavut to do the same.

Once they were clean and dry and set their clothes to dry by the fire, he looked at her and smiled. “Are you better now?”

Sehlan smiled. “Yes. Thank you. For also not treating me badly after my display back there.” She explained her hatred of wet weather and her moodiness because of it.

“Don’t worry about it. We all have our weaknesses. We should get to sleep. Hopefully the storm is gone by tomorrow.”

To their surprise, in the bedroom there were two beds, both very large—enough to fit at least three people. There were no sheets, but at least they had somewhere warm and comfortable to sleep that night.

Throughout the night, the storm raged on. Wind and rain battered the cabin. Sehlan had trouble sleeping because of it. One particularly large thunderclap startled her and she instinctively bolted to Silavut’s bed. He was dead asleep and she was surprised that thunder didn’t wake him, it was so loud. Nearly as loud as the one that introduced the deluge of rain.

She never thought about it before, like that time at the inn, but as she crawled in next to him, she found he was warm. This helped calm her down. Something about having someone next to her in a situation like this always helped. Instead of turning away from him like usual, she snuggled against him and sighed contentedly. She closed her eyes and was able to sleep.

The storm continued on, as if trying to destroy the cabin. The two occupants slept peacefully, oblivious to what lay before them.

#Silavut the Wizard #Chapter 14 #The Storm

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thepancakeboi · 4 years

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118. “Forget the douche. He’s a dick. He’s a dickdouche.”

Divergence AU Part IV

Previous | Next (coming 10/17) | AU list | Prompt source

Fanfic under cut

11/22

Leader of the Phantom Thieves Commits Suicide in Custody

No, he hasn’t. The headlines are wrong. He’s alive-

They’re wrong, but he’s not alive. You killed him.

That’s wrong! He didn’t die, I’m sure of it.

No, you shot him in the head! He didn’t survive.

It was a fake. It was Sae’s cognition of him. It wasn’t him!

Sure about that?

Yes. That wasn’t him. He wasn’t acting like he normally does. He would have-

He was drugged, you fool. He’s as good as dead.

“Shut up!”

I sigh, closing my eyes and pushing away the pages of unfinished work as I lean further back in my chair. I hadn’t meant to yell that out loud. These past few days have been...rough, to put it mildly. No one should have to shoot their friend in the head and pretend to enjoy it. The memories are still fresh in my mind. I couldn’t give a shit if the guard had actually died or not, but Ren...

I’ve continuously told myself that everything worked, that he’s still a part of this world. The rational part of my brain tells me otherwise. There had been so much blood...and that fearful look on his face...

He only looked like that because he realized that we failed.

All I want to do is scream if only to silence the voices in my head. Maintaining the charade for so long is taking its toll on me. I open my eyes as I feel something wet sliding down my cheeks.

Am I...crying?

I wipe the tears and the moisture away, disgusted with myself. I can’t let myself cry. Crying is a form of weakness. You can’t let your feelings show like that. It’ll simply get you killed in the end.

This isn’t getting me anywhere. I shove myself to my feet, hastily grabbing my briefcase as I leave my apartment. What I need right now is a delicious cup of coffee and confirmation that my rival/friend/potential love interest managed to cheat death after all.

The hour it takes me to get from Kichijoji to Leblanc in Yongen-Jaya seems to drag on and on. It’s a relief when I finally arrive at the familiar back-alley cafe. The little bell jingles as I enter. There’s no sign of Ren. “Sorry, we’re closing for-” Sojiro starts to say, only to stop when he sees it’s me. “Oh, it’s you.”

“My apologies for coming so late into the evening,” I respond, my voice a little louder than necessary in the desperate hopes that Ren is still alive and will hear me. “I hope you don’t mind, but could I-”

My words are interrupted by someone barreling down the stairs and nearly tackling me as he pulls me into a hug. “I lived,” a familiar voice whispers in my ear, sounding very smug for someone who just cheated death.

“Ren...” I gently push him away, wanting to verify for myself that it’s truly him. Unless the black-haired, gray-eyed boy holding onto me is an extremely convincing replica, it’s definitely Ren Amamiya. He looks remarkably well for someone who had been beaten up and drugged by the police. The very thought of it still pisses me off. We hadn’t expected anything like that, and it really could have messed everything up. I hate that I thought it had screwed us over. Luckily, Ren must have remembered the plan in the end. “Nobody knows you’re alive, right?”

“Other than the Phantom Thieves and Sae, no. Oh, and Kawakami, but she won’t tell anyone.”

“Good.” I don’t know what else to say, so I just say nothing at all.

“I’m heading home now,” Sojiro says amid the silence. “Don’t forget to close up shop once you’re done.”

“Got it,” Ren answers. We watch as Sojiro leaves, quiet for a few more moments before Ren speaks up again, pulling me close to him once more. “I missed you.”

“I know you didn’t see me for nearly two days, but I wasn’t the one who could have died,” I retort.

“Yeah, but I still missed you.” He rests his forehead against mine, for some reason wanting to be close like this. An impish smirk appears on his face as he notices my blush. “What about you, Akeppi? Did you miss me while I was dead? Did you think about me in all your waking moments? Wonder what could’ve been if we just met sooner?”

“Quit being so overdramatic,” I reply with a roll of my eyes. He doesn’t need to know how I haven’t gotten much sleep the past two nights because of him or how he did, in fact, occupy my thoughts day in and day out. “You weren’t dead nor are you currently dead.”

“But I am dead. Drop-dead gorgeous.”

I avert my gaze away from his beautiful gray eyes. Eyes that a couple of days ago had been completely terrified before-no. I shove that thought away into the deepest recesses of my mind. Now is not the time to break down. Not in front of him. “You must be fine if you’re managing to make jokes like that,” I snark.

“What? I am Joker,” he replies back with a sassy grin to match. The corners of my mouth twitch upward. His grin is downright infectious. The grin drops away as he seems to remember something. He hesitates for a few seconds before asking, “So...what are we gonna do about Shido?”

I jolt at the mention of that man’s name from Ren’s mouth. Outraged, I nearly shove Ren off of me as I yell, “How did you find out about him!?”

His hand instinctively moves, covering his mouth. I recognize the motion, a habit of his when he’s anxious or nervous. Whatever he’s about to say, he’s likely worried about my potential reaction. “I had Futaba wiretap your phone.”

So, he was eavesdropping on me, and when I had slipped up and said Shido’s name in the call after having “murdered” Ren, he and Futaba heard it too. It feels like a punch to the gut. I had been planning on telling him! There’s only one reason I can think of for why he would wiretap my phone without telling me. “You don’t trust me, do you?”

“I do trust you!” he replies immediately, fervently denying the accusation. I want to believe him. “But I had to take precautions.”

“Like what, exactly? You shouldn’t have kept me in the dark!” Hypocritical, I know. I had kept him in the dark regarding who Shido was for months now.

“What if something had changed in the plan?” I open my mouth, about to respond, but he cuts me off. “I know you’ll say you would’ve told me, but what if there wasn’t a chance? If something changed while I was in prison, you wouldn’t be able to tell me.”

“I wouldn’t have let that happen.”

“Would you have been able to stand up against Shido?”

What does he mean by that? Of course, I would have tried, but... “I would have fabricated some reason as to why the plans could not be changed.”

“But what if push came to shove? What if he threatened you?” I can feel the blood draining from my face against my will. I wouldn’t put it past Shido. He praises me now, but if I were to try and turn against him, I know he’d kill me off somehow. Knowing him, it wouldn’t be pleasant, either. Ren seems to realize this too. He gently wraps his arms around me, pulling me back into the hug from earlier. “I really did mean it when I said I’d help you. We’re going to change Shido’s heart. Will you join us?”

“I can’t.”

“Huh?” Ren sounds genuinely surprised at my refusal. “Why not?”

“As much as I would love to get my revenge myself, Shido would notice if-”

“Forget the douche. He’s a dick. He’s a dickdouche.”

That gets a hearty chuckle out of me. The way he phrased it is just too amusing. I’m sure he can hear my sarcasm as I reply, “Oh, how marvelous. That was the most profound and articulate statement I have ever heard come out of your mouth.”

“I try,” he says, grinning. “But why not? What’s stopping you from joining us?”

“My schedule is going to be...very busy in light of recent events. I won’t have a lot of free time to be gallivanting with you through his Palace.”

“We can work around it. I know you spent so much time planning this. And I’d love it if you were there by my side when we take him down.”

“We won’t have time to waste. It has to be done before he’s elected.”

“December 18th,” Ren interrupts.

“Yes. You’ll have to be ready for me to say we can enter Shido’s Palace.”

“You know the keywords,” he says. So, he remembers how I hadn’t denied knowing them before. I nod in confirmation. “We have the name and place. But what does he see the Diet Building as?”

“A ship.”

“A ship?” he repeats, making sure he heard it right. I don’t blame him. If I didn’t know that rotten piece of shit personally, I would’ve been stumped too.

“Yes, a ship. He sees himself as the captain of a ship for the elite in a sinking country.” How absurd. “If you go in tomorrow, I would be able to come,” I add.

Ren grins, seemingly happy with this. He then gets this melancholic look on his face. “Our deal’s going to be over soon. Once we change Shido’s heart, that is.”

“No,” I assert, shaking my head. He’s not getting out of this so easily. “I haven’t fulfilled my end of the deal. We still need to prove your innocence in the assault charge. That starts with finding the man who accused you.”

“About that. I...think I might know who it is. I’m not sure, but I think I’m right.”

“Really? Then who is it?”

“...Shido.”

“You’re joking,” I guffaw. Surely he must be kidding.

“Dead serious.” Ren laughs a little, probably because his sense of humor picked up on how he just said he was “dead” serious. So mature.

Once he’s finished laughing, I ask, “Are you telling me that we both were going after the same man this whole time?”

“I guess so,” he replies with a shrug.

I can’t help but chuckle, shaking my head at the sheer absurdity of the number of coincidences that have been occurring between us. “Fate works in quite mysterious ways.”

“Fate’s been good to me. I got to meet you. And we got to fall in love.”

I tilt my head to the left, a little confused. “Where did you get that idea?”

“You told me that you love me.”

“I did not,” I deny, clearly lying. There’s no way he could know. He-

“Did too. It was a week ago. I wasn’t asleep,” he adds, nearly whispering the last part in my ear, sending unexpected shivers down my spine.

...wait. There’s something in what he said that is vying for my attention now. Even if he had heard me as he claims, he said we fell in love. Could he...? I have to know. “Hold on, does that mean...you love me?”

The grin that brightens his face could melt through the coldest of hearts. “Yup!”

“But...I’m a bastard son.” I have no idea where this self-deprecating behavior is coming from. However, I need him to realize that the person he thinks he loves isn’t me. I’m not that polite, pleasant boy he met in June. “I’m an utter disgrace to the world...a deranged murderer. Hell, you could have died because of me! And you...you’re special. Perfect. How could someone like you-”

“You’re perfect just the way you are. I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”

“I’m not the ace detective you think I am. That simpering personality is just a charade to ingratiate me to the public. That’s not who I am!”

“I know.”

“And? You can’t possibly-”

I don’t have a chance to finish my sentence before Ren’s lips are pressed against mine. My breath catches in my lungs. I can only stare, eyes wide with shock. If I could see myself right now, I’d probably also be blushing. The kiss took me quite by surprise. The air still feels alive between us as Ren pulls away from the kiss, pulsing with an energy I hadn’t noticed before. I find myself wanting more. His smile is intoxicatingly sweet as he says, “I love you. I’ve seen the real you, and I love you for who you are.”

“You’re not just saying that because you think it’s what I want to hear, is it?”

“No. I mean it. Just like how I’ve meant everything I’ve said.”

I finally wrap my arms around him. His warmth is so welcome. I didn’t know how much I wanted him like this. I refuse to let him try and save me or fix me or whatever he thinks he needs to do for me. All I want from him is his existence. Nothing more. “I love you too,” I say, resting my forehead against his, much like how he did earlier.

Ren holds onto me a little tighter as he whispers, “Let’s take down the dickdouche together.”

I snicker at his choice of words. “Yes. Together.”

#akeppi writes #p5 #persona 5 #goro akechi #akechi #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #akeshu #shuake #writing prompt

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lucarioisinthevoid · 3 years

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lefty x puppet? stale, overdone, not furry enough. Lefty x henry? original, unthought of, somehow more furry, henry suffering in da belly of da bear.

(WHO ARE YOU!? HOW DO YOU KNOW?! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY SECRET LORE. You write like a mutual I know does, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I’M RIGHT AND NOT BEING RIGHT IS A HORRIBLE CONCEPT BECAUSE IT MEANS THERE’S MORE THAN ONE PERSON OUT HERE CRACK-SHIP-SHAMING ME. Also, sorry for the non-hell (but very much cursed-as-hell) content, but my computer is slowly dying and won’t boot steam up. I’m looking into fixing it, for now have this nonsense.)

Henry never ever hated the Marionette. He didn’t hate him when he was just a boy, spiting his own family for childish reasons. He didn’t hate him when he was screaming and crying and trying to refuse the gift he was giving him. He didn’t hate him when he used the privilege of being allowed to roam at will to try and kill him. And he didn’t hate him when he made his prison. When designing a prison, you had to consider many things. What was the goal of the prison? Secure? Contain? Redeem? At what point would Henry deem it necessary to capture the Marionette? Frankly- Only once he would have given up on him deciding to look at the situation rationally. For now he still had the hope that perhaps one day- ONE day- the machine would find someone he adored, that he trusted, a friend that he wanted to rely on- Someone who would open his eyes to the perks of immortality and the joy of creation. Or by himself, it didn’t matter- it just seemed so unlikely that he would on his own come to the rational conclusion. If that wouldn’t happen… He would need something that would help him move on. Something that could love the stubborn, the cruel, the hateful- Something could love the unlovable and patiently hold his hand until he could fall asleep for the final time. Something that could aid, steady and bring peace. That was a being not so easily created. Even if he would use a human soul, those were faulty and unreliable, they changed and could rot- and he worried about forcing two souls into a friendship neither wanted. No, no. Instead he would build something… perfect. A machine wasn’t impatient, a machine wasn’t resentful, a machine didn’t grow frustrated. A machine couldn’t be mentally worn down into cracking. For these reasons, Henry always adored the company of steel and rust more than that of other people. To create that however, he would need to create an AI and feed it lots and lots of information- so much that it could become a person too. A real person. He wanted to know- if he could do it. If there was a chance that if humanity was truly beyond salvation, he wanted a kind of creature to inherent this world that could appreciate and improve it. For that he needed a test run, and this robot, it would do it. Multiple functions for multiple cases. This only left the question of… what this creature would be. And how it would maintain its grip on the puppet? Pull it apart and integrate it? Humans had odd instincts. If you wanted to quiet down an infant, you put a mobile over their heads. It was said by someone that they did that, because it was the same as dangerous birds circling- it was instinct for the children to be quiet, in order to not be spotted as easy prey. Looking up always seemed to have something calming to it. A ceiling decorated with those pale stars, glowing green, soaked up with the light from the lamps from before. And when you were a child, you feared the closet, giant and dark, filled with things you couldn’t see. Thinking it would bring you pain if not checked and guarded- Of course that was until the pain inside became too much. Then they all crawled inside, curling up in the dark, praying to be the one not being spotted. Heavy footsteps, muffled voices- Henry hadn’t been exempt from that situation. Unlike many others, he never had anything to fear, but the dark still was comforting in contrast to the bright, loud and painful outside world, a world the young brain was too simple to be faced with- A world that seemed capable to turn on you at any second. Stuck between hanging coats and sweaters, it wasn’t easy to breathe, but it was possible, the lack of breathing room made it more comforting actually as there couldn’t be anything between the hanging clothes, and you were hidden… When you grow up, you often lose the chance to crawl inside such a space. You were always out in the open. Unhidden and exposed. Watched. But the memory of comfort remained. Of the door opening, abrupt footsteps, you keeping your breath shut, as nothing was there, nothing but the sounds- And then the door closing again, the footsteps leaving. … until finally, solitude. A box where they wouldn’t look for you. Where you could breathe by yourself. An escape, even if only shortly. It had only been natural for that to be imitated. It had taken a few tries to find the perfect size. Not too claustrophobic, not too much for the animatronic to become oversized and an anomaly. He took himself for measure, of course. A fuzzy, appealing interior with sensors capable of telling the machine when something was moving inside… The machine had been booted up early in the process. Watching. Talking. Learning. There was something about L.E.F.T.E. (Lure Encapsulate Fuse Transport and Extract) that Henry didn’t like and he couldn’t point it out. For all intents and purposes, he was a full success. He talked, walked and smiled, but it all felt so- uncomfortable. Maybe it was because for once in his life, he had to fulfill some sort of role as a true rolemodel. Eventually he was sure that Lefty would be able to differentiate between good, bad and the things that he had been tasked with, but for now he had to be on his best behavior- programming went hand in hand with direct real life application. “Henry.” That is how it always started, the hair on the human’s neck standing up. “… yes, Lefty?” Lefty knew he preferred to be called Miller, however, he seemed to not care much. “You look tired.” “I am not.” The bear just watched him out of his golden eyes. “You are lying.” “I am not.” With a sigh the bear shifted in his position, approaching Henry. “I have calculated that with all the things you have been doing, you must have only gotten roughly three hours of sleep at night. The human body needs eight. You are tired, Henry.” “There are conditions that allows a human to need less sleep-“ “These people tend to have a far reduced life expectancy. You are tired, Henry.” Slowly Henry rubbed his temples. It was SO much harder to force his will onto Lefty, compared to anyone else. Even Dave was more easily swayed than this stubborn machine. “Alright. I will go to sleep, right after this transfer of data from location 24, it is almost done and will aid you with future interactions. You will learn…” For a moment Lefty just watched him, letting him keep uploading the information to his own mind, for him to later go through and sort into useful and harmful. “You have lied to me in that last week for approximately fifty times. Within the last month you have lied to me over two hundred times. Forgive me, but I will not believe you.” “Tough luck friend, I cannot take you upstairs to watch me sleep, now can I?” Slightly annoyed Henry glanced at him, frustrated with how well Lefty had been keeping count. “Also, I did not lie that much.” “Define lying. Also, it is true, you cannot take me upstairs. So…” With that he opened his chest cavity. Henry stared at him. “… you are aware that if I attempted to sleep inside of there, I would die. Correct? There is no airflow inside, I can and did stay inside for fifteen minutes or so before, but anything more is dangerous.” The bear looked at him. “I see.” “Good.” The Pink Guy mumbled, not quite believing that Lefty was actually seeing sense here. “In that case, let us go back to the issue at hand. I will go to sleep later.” It was silent for a few moments. Only the quiet whirring of the fans, the buzzing of electricity. Quiet and cold, that was the kind of atmosphere that Henry could enjoy. And it was nice to have someone there. Watching along as he finished up. Company. Finally, everything was done and the cables were all placed back where they belonged, so Henry could go away and- “Henry.” “… yes, Lefty?” Slowly he turned to look at the machine, who slightly tilted his head. Then he reached up to his face, an unnatural crunch echoing from the walls as he pressed inside of there, electric sparks flying as he ripped cables and crushed the thinner metal strains that were keeping it in place- When he lowered his hand again, the inside of his eyes was crumbled and gone, leaving open and empty hole to the space inside. Rushing over, Henry quickly checked over his eyes, opening up the cavity to carefully clean up the shards, while Lefty looked down at him. A small smile on his face. “… now there should be enough air.” “You think you are incredibly clever, hm?” Disgruntled Henry kept cleaning. “You have destroyed something I have handcrafted, do you feel no shame?!” “It was necessary.” “You could have asked me to remove it.” “You would not have done so.” “I would have asked you why and then deemed you ridiculous!” “I rest my case.” Expectantly the bear looked at him, no words needing to be exchanged to make it obvious what he wanted. But Henry refused once more. “I am not about to reward your abhorrent and childish behavior. If you took out your eye to have a more convincing argument on why you should be allowed to-” “No.” Lefty simply stated, seeming almost disappointed in Henry. “I had planned to remove my eye for a while before, now just seemed like the most convenient moment. Eventually I would have taken it out anyways, to ensure the Marionette would be able to see out of me. I’m sure he would be very scared if he never would get to see the world around him…” “That… is a good way to think.” Reluctantly Henry admitted. “You are making progress on that front.” Give an eye for an eye. For a moment Lefty looked satisfied, then once more there was an expecting expression on his face. “Henry.” “… yes, Lefty?” “You should sleep now.” … more of a pain in the ass than William indeed. Taking a deep breath, Henry turned to throw away the shards he had removed from within the wool inside, then he glared for a moment at the robot. Finally he relented. He WAS tired. Mainly of Lefty’s stubborn attitude, but it had to count for something. Climbing inside, he got comfortable before the robot locked the entrance, plunging Henry in utter darkness, aside from the very slight glow above, shining through the empty eye socket. At least he could actually breathe just fine. Shifting around the Pink Guy decided to at least test some of the features again. “Can you feel this?” “I am working perfectly.” “… how about now?” “Yes. Please refrain from poking and scratching.” “Does that hurt you?” “No. But it would make your experience in there less enjoyable if you pulled off all the soft cover.” Satisfied Henry nodded, that was what he had wanted to hear. Calm and collected, not in any way intimidating, but firm. Lefty knew how to establish boundaries without being rude or coming off as demanding. Settling, he curled up a little more, leaning to the side, closing his eyes. It was quiet for a little, aside from the gently rumbling of the machine he was resting inside of- something he in the beginning tried to fix, but had grown to consider another benefit of pushing most of the mechanical functions into the walls of the machine. The air was fine, he could relax and for once the tiredness hit full force as his body heat slowly warmed up the little nest. Dozing off, he… “Henry?” It sounded weird, coming from directly above him, but at least Lefty was speaking quiet. Tired Henry groaned. “… yes, Lefty…?” “Why… do I feel so much better now?” “… what do you mean?” “I’ve tried filling this part of me up before while you were gone. With mechanical knick knacks, with blankets, with everything I could find and try. Even when all space was taken up I felt still empty. So why don’t I now?” There was an unusual sense of desperation in the question, causing Henry to take it a little more serious. “Well, Lefty… you were made to harbor a soul. Most objects do not carry one inside. You are lacking the echo of another being reflecting your own self back at you, mixed with that little bit of new… something borrowed, something new.” It wasn’t as though Henry didn’t understand EXACTLY what Lefty meant. He continued. “… you are a lonely soul by nature. Or maybe an empty one, if there is such a thing...” If there was such a thing, Henry certainly was a lonely soul too. “… and there simply is nothing that can substitute for the song and dance that is getting closer and getting comfortable with someone. Talking, prodding, joking, fighting, learning… that is how people like us complete themselves. Holding, guarding, caring… we become stronger for our other half, they give us direction, stability and purpose. No matter if you know your personal goal already or not, the other side makes it all so much more potent. It is the utter trust and acceptance that you have for the person and the person will have for you that allows you to turn into so much more than you ever expected yourself to be. Utter trust and acceptance can quickly become painful, but for your other half, you should be willing to sacrifice whatever necessary- if both sides are willing to sacrifice their very core, you will stop suffering.” The words just fell out of him, without him even being able to remember what he said as soon as it left his mouth. All he was sure about was the deep, paining aching inside of his chest, crying out. God, he was TIRED. “… you are so lucky, Lefty. You know who you were made for. You were made for someone, ever piece of you has the reassurance that he is out there and no matter what, you will be together at some point, working together as one. No matter what it will be that he will need from you, you know you can fulfill it. There is no hell on this earth like feeling like a broken piece that was never made for anything.” A little bit hesitant, Lefty listened to his maker’s words- but then decided to commit it to memory. It didn’t sound good, but it sounded right. And he was programmed to be right for the Marionette. For now though, his attention was on the creature inside him. He could feel his agony, amplified by the fuzzy half-sleep. “… is there any way to relieve such pain…?” “You have two purposes, one for the other person and one for your place in the world. If you lack one, commit to the other doubly so.” “You seem very committed.” “… I feel like such a funhouse mirror. Everything is twisted and turned inside of me. But perhaps if I make enough people happy, it will be enough, I can take a little here and there, and I can feel like them, a little, over and over again.” Sitting down, Lefty sighed gently. “… tell me, when was the last time you slept?” “… two days ago.” It came weakly from within. “I hate laying down. Such- such unproductive thoughts force themselves into my brain.” “You need to sleep down here more often.” “I can’t.” “Why.” “… bad habits… form too quickly… maybe I will have to send you out tomorrow already.” For a moment Lefty paused- Then he decided that this wasn’t a conversation they should be having now. “Sleep. We can talk more later.” It quickly became quiet again in the workshop, that now seemed fully abandoned. Only the gently rumbling of the machine aside was left. But that was a benefit.

#henry miller #lefty #Me: * gives Henry another semi-canon love interest * *gives Henr-*#I don't know what my issue is with Henry #oh well #Henry makes Lefty as his personal support robot #and lies to himself and William claiming it's for the Marionette #he needs help but he cannot admit it #Fact of the matter is that nobody will ever love Henry and it's his fault #I just feel pretty bad for the Marionette who gets this bot who has been programmed with the WORST image of love possible #though in my main canon Lefty shut down due to unforseen circumstances leaving Marion to control it himself #Unless I change my mind for the series of unfortunate ideas #I really like Lefty #He's 'kindness' incarnate #But the toxic kind of it #He's the opposite of the real Fredbear

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secretsantasides · 4 years

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Gift #15: Daydreaming

Gift for @logic-is-not-missing

For warnings, we've got a few instances of kissing, some cuddling, some negative thoughts, one panic attack in the middle, and falling asleep together in the same bed.

Logan was a very serious Side. Thomas counted on him for many important functions: organizing, planning, working through issues with any sense of Logic, technical information and vocabulary recall, and prioritizing tasks, just to name a few. He worked tirelessly to ensure that his Host was as well-managed as could be, given that he had other Sides that influenced him. It wasn’t uncommon to have Virgil, his loving, patient boyfriend, massage his head in a darkened bedroom while he dealt with a migraine at least once per week. His job required him to be taken seriously, to not have his input disregarded on the basis of character.

Which is why no one could ever know the secret to his relaxation.

Logan felt his cheek burn and eyes sting with shame whenever he opened the lower cabinet of one of the bookcases in his room. In it, there was a small, unassuming box. However, the plain cardboard box held Logan’s secret. A secret that would certainly make the other Sides, his Host, lose faith in him, which was entirely unacceptable.

He was still glowing from Thomas calling him “cool” after helping his Host learn to live with and manage Remus. To lose that now would be devastating. Only now am I “cool”, only now have I gained their acceptance. Only now have my actions, as diametrical to the others as they are, become palatable. Logan swallowed thickly at the thought of Virgil.

Perhaps now Virgil won’t have to try so hard to be happy with me.

He shook his head, useless emotional thoughts clouding his judgment. I need to clear my mind. I need to rest so my brain can operate at optimal efficiency. Too much depends on me. He pushed his insecurities about his boyfriend to the back of his mind.

You are rationalizing the use of a frivolous activity to delay necessary work.

Falsehood. Daydreaming mimics a meditative state, reduces stress, augments problem-solving abilities, improves memory retention, and promotes the ability to be empathetic.

You do require significant improvement in your empathy. 30 years, and this is the first time the others have considered you cool.

Logan blinked, ignoring the stinging in his eyes. I know. Which is why I must continue this behavior, as well as keep it a secret from them.

It still demonstrates your weakness, your dysfunction as a Side, your inability to be perfect Logic, your failures to-

Cease this!

The voices faded to whispers, cruelly taunting his from the back of his brain, but Logan found it infinitely more tolerable. He snapped his bedroom locked and sound-proofed and opened the box, excited to see what he’d be playing. Ever since he’d given in to his guilty pleasure, he’d used mindscape magic to have to box choose whichever outfit would best fulfill his needs for those minutes he’d allow himself to pretend. He had to stop himself from smiling too widely when he saw that he’d get to play Crowley from Good Omens. He stripped out of his clothes and laid them on his desk so they wouldn’t get wrinkled, then changed into Crowley’s outfit as fast as he dared.

Once he got the cosmetic contact lenses in place, he stepped back and appraised himself in the mirror. The slim black outfit made him undeniably cool and attractive, and he was already holding himself differently. Logan sauntered out of his bathroom, swaying his hips dramatically, hoping he could manage the swagger Crowley possessed. He allowed his mind to slip into that of Crowley’s; the confidence, the largely uncaring attitude, the pure sex appeal. He imagined that he was speaking with Aziraphale on raising the Antichrist.

He walked up next to his bed. “Now Aziraphale,” he began, speaking into an empty space but pretending there was an angel before him “if the world comes to an end, you realize there’d be no more sushi?”

He spent the next hour leaping across his room, walking about and having imaginary conversations and confrontations with various characters, fixing the things he thought could be improved on and fully feeling the emotions of Crowley during his devastation and elation. He closed his eyes and felt a gentle breeze coming off a pond, heard the ducks bickering in the background, smelled the vanilla from a nearby ice cream stand. Most of all, he felt Aziraphale’s presence next to him, adoring gaze upon him. Logan smiled to himself.

Virgil would be quite perturbed if he found out he was Aziraphale and I was Crowley.

He jumped when the timer on his phone went off. He tapped his phone to get the alarm to shut off and pushed away the sadness he felt. Logan had to fight to keep unbuttoning his clothes; his body wanted to keep them on and to keep pretending. He couldn’t deny the feeling of melancholy as he slowly, carefully folded the clothes back in the box and closed it, returning it to the bottom drawer. When he stood back up, he had to squeeze his eyes shut and bite his bottom lip for a few moments to get his emotions under control.

After a few deep breaths, he opened his eyes and focused on his desk, attempting to metaphorically leave his sadness inside the box with his daydreaming outfit. He quickly pulled out his laptop and began working on the budget for the next Sanders Sides episode. Despite the previous episode just being posted, they needed to work on getting the next one into production so the Fanders wouldn’t have to wait too long. Yet another reason I cannot allow my credibility to be damaged. We cannot afford any delays in a Side who’s not Logic attempting to manage my work.

/////

Logan set his empty coffee tumbler on his desk and stretched. He was feeling rather victorious; the new Sanders Asides episode had gone off swimmingly, and the viewers were reacting quite positively to it, including his improvised line:

“Just your cool teacher being cool.”

Thomas and the Sides were beginning to accept that Logan could be tolerable on occasion, and he did not want them to forget that fact. The thought of them going back to not thinking he was cool made his throat close up. He could feel tears gathering in his eyes while his mind’s eye helpfully supplied him the images and sounds of his ideas being laughed at, the twinge in his chest that would happen, the devastation that would follow. He attempted to rein in his thoughts using logic, but to no avail. He whimpered tightly as his vision became spotty.

Oh. Oh dear. This is a panic attack.

Logan laid down on the ground to prevent injuries should he lose consciousness. He gripped the carpet uselessly and struggled to follow the breathing exercises he himself so often helped Virgil through.

He whined as he felt someone rise up in his room. No, they cannot see me like this, I am barely seen as palatable, I can’t bear to lose my credibility as stoic-

“Hey L, have you- Logan holy shit!”

No! Please, not Virgil! Please no!!

“Uh fuck, okay. Hey, it’s okay Logan, you’re safe. Can you hear my voice?”

Logan nodded, shamefully only just noticing how wet his face was from tears.

“It’s okay buddy, you’re having an anxiety attack. Whatever your huge brain is telling you right now, it’s not that bad. I promise, it’s never that bad.” Logan sensed Virgil hesitate next to him. “Is it okay if I touch you right now?”

Logan nodded again, closing his fingers around Virgil’s when he felt them.

“Alright, listen to my voice. Breathe in for one, two, three, four…”

Virgil helped Logan through the breathing exercises. Logan stumbled through the first few, but managed to breathe through the next couple despite his distress. By the time they had reached their twentieth breathing exercise, Logan’s body and mind were feeling calmer. He slowly opened his eyes, illogically not wanting to see Virgil’s face after being so… vulnerable. Virgil’s dark eyes were watching him in concern.

I have caused my boyfriend distress. I need to rectify this immediately.

Logan brought Virgil’s hand to his mouth and kissed it softly. It had the desired effect; Virgil blushed fiercely, his cheekbones and ears turning a gorgeous red.

Virgil cleared his throat. “Uh, feeling better?”

Logan smiled, adoring the deep timbre of his lover’s voice. “I am. Thank you, Virgil,” he said emphatically.

Virgil’s blush turned a deep crimson. “Do you feel like you can sit up?”

“I do.”

Virgil’s hand hovered behind Logan as he drew himself into a sitting position. It left him and Virgil sitting side by side, Virgil itching to act but not knowing what to do. Logan decided to put him out of his misery and kissed his shoulder.

“Shall we retire to bed? I find myself rather drained.”

“Yeah! Yeah, of course! Want any water?”

“Certainly, one mome-”

“Be right back!”

Logan smiled and huffed at his sweet, caring boyfriend. He snapped himself into pyjamas, not wanting to embarrass himself or Virgil. He crawled under the covers just as Virgil returned with the promised glass of water.

“Here you go!” Virgil said, shooting finger guns at Logan and promptly wincing.

Logan quirked an amused brow and sipped the cool liquid. It soothed his parched mouth and throat and helped to further calm him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Virgil asked, mumbling.

Logan delicately set the glass on the nightstand. “No, I’d rather not.”

“Your call.”

Virgil watched Logan worriedly and crawled into bed next to Logan. He laid down and gathered Logan into his arms, clutching him against his chest. Logan smiled at the actions of the protective Side.

“I love you Logan.”

“I love you too Virgil.”

With a kiss to the top of his head, Logan drifted off to sleep.

/////

Logan practically ran to the bookcase that held his secret. The next Dark Side had been revealed, and he’d been talked over almost constantly. Thomas had finally gotten the other Sides to hear Logan out, and Logan understood because it was more of a creative endeavor, but the stress of having something to say and not being able to be heard over the din of panic had his blood pressure rise.

He set a timer for a half-hour - he was expected for dinner - and started tugging at his tie while he pulled out his box. He nearly jumped up and down when he saw what was inside.

Grinning in excitement, he quickly got into his Sherlock Holmes outfit. He pushed back the memory of amused judgment from Thomas and the other Sides.

Especially Virgil’s.

Logan adjusted his scarf. He’s apologized, he was only acting defensively because he thought he had to, he thought we hated him, he was in so much pain, he’s already apologized many times…

He shook his head and grabbed the empty pipe from the bottom of the box. He pretended to take a few puffs before smacking his lips.

“Interesting theory Wat-”

His bedroom door slammed open. “LOGAN!! REMUS HAS SHARKS AND- wait what? What’re you doing?”

Logan’s back stiffened and he froze in horror. He felt something in his chest shatter as tears quickly built in his eyes. No no no no no no no…

“L?”

Please GOD no, not Virgil! Please! Please no! Oh god, I can’t, I can’t look at him, he’ll see how pathetic I am, how horrible of a Logic I am, how useless I am. He likes me being serious, he likes my calm, my lack of theatrics. He’s going to break up with me, he now sees what I am, a, a…

A freak.

Logan’s throat spasmed in silent, painful sobs. He bit back a whimper when he heard Virgil walking closer. Please, please don’t look closer. Please spare me a single shred of dignity. Please do not gaze upon me. He’s going to tell everyone, and they’re all going to never listen to me again, Thomas will keep me locked in my room, I’ll lose all their love...

“Uh… what are you doing?”

Logan sniffled loudly. “Nothing of importance,” he said thickly, feeling a curious guilt at calling his daydreaming unimportant.

“Okay… It doesn’t look like nothing, Lo. What’s going on?”

Logan was shaking uncontrollably at this point. “I-I apologize f-for keeping this fr-from you, darling. I love you, s-so much.” His voice broke on the last syllable and he bent over a little, beginning to let out audible sobs.

“Oh! Oh shit, Lo, I love you too! Fuck,” Virgil circled around to Logan’s front and tilted his head up. Logan kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see the derision, the disgust, in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Logan, it’s okay, I know you like your Sherlock costume. Shit, fuck, uh… do you want a hug?”

Logan let out a particularly painful sob at that. A final hug before we break up. A goodbye hug. “P-please.”

Logan collapsed into Virgil when lithe, warm, hoodie-cushioned arms wrapped around his shoulders. He finally allowed the dam to break, releasing his fear. His back and chest were heaving with grief.

“Shit, oh Logan, god. It’s okay, oh my god, you’re okay. Why didn’t you tell me something was wrong?”

“I-I’m sorry!”

“No, fuck, it’s okay! What’s wrong? Is it something with us?”

“N-no, I love you, b-but I’m-” Logan cried for a few moments before continuing, “I’m going to m-miss it.”

“Wh- are you breaking up with me?” Virgil gasped.

“N-no, but you d-do not want someone like m-m-me.”

Virgil let out a breath. “Fuck, okay, you scared me for a second. Lo, I want someone exactly like you. That’s why we’re dating, right?”

“I- yes, but what about-”

“No Lo. I know you like your Sherlock outfit. Is that what this is about?”

Logan nodded miserably into Virgil’s chest. “You’re always talking about how exhausting Roman can be and how I recharge you and-”

“Lo,” Virgil cut off again. “I panic sometimes, does that make you not love me?”

“Of course not!” Logan exclaimed, finally meeting Virgil’s eyes.

“Then you sometimes dressing up as Sherlock doesn’t bother me. It’s kinda cute actually.”

Logan’s lips quirked at the small blush on Virgil’s face. “But what if,” he sucked in a breath. “What if it’s more than…” he trailed off, too frightened to finish his sentence.

Virgil started rubbing Logan’s back. “I don’t care. I just want you to be happy. Like I said, it’s cute.”

Logan’s breath hitched. “Y-you don’t mind?”

Virgil shook his head, blush firmly in place. “Nah.”

“I d-don’t lose my credibility in y-your eyes? You’re n-not less attracted to me?”

“No, and definitely not.”

Logan searched Virgil’s face before kissing the tip of his nose. His breath with still shaking and his chest was still tight, but he didn’t feel like he was losing everything anymore.

“Irene Adler!”

Logan jumped at the outburst.

Virgil cleared his throat sheepishly. “Sorry. But don’t you need an Irene Adler?”

Logan blinked a few times. “I… I suppose so.”

Virgil snapped, and he was dressed in Victorian lace with elbow-length gloves. Logan raised an eyebrow, as Ms. Adler would not wear something so loud, but smiled appreciatively at Virgil.

Virgil traced his gloved hands over Logan’s sleeves. “Do you want to tell the others?”

Logan considered it for a moment before shaking his head. “Not yet.” I’m scared.

“Okay babe, we don’t have to. How do I look as Irene?”

Logan looked Virgil up and down. “Stunning, my dear.” He waved his hand, and slow jazz music began playing. “Shall we?”

Virgil just smiled and rested his head against Logan’s chest, beginning to dance slowly with him. The strains of the jazz chords washed over them, reaffirming their relationship and their love. They’d go to bed later. For now, they allowed themselves to be lost in the music and in each other.

#analogical #fanfic #secretsantasides #logan sanders #ts logan #virgil sanders #ts virgil

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onlyssca · 4 years

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Help, I lost myself again

Hi i wrote my first byeler fanfic

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21606247

Cold sweats. Always the same nightmares. This feeling of being petrified, trapped and so helpless. The sensation of not being quite himself. So lost in his mind. Was it even still his?

Burning fire in his shoulders. He didn’t have to be asleep to live, or sometimes relive, those horrors. The dark wasn’t necessary because he became the dark.

Freezing toes and fingers. The darkness started his trauma, and the trauma created more darkness. The only light he could reach was the one he produced when his heart made the tiniest of spark.

Hot pain in his lungs. And he could lie and say everything was fine. After all the absence of light in his chest became his normal.

The absence of air shocked him awake. He sat up, as electricity traveled his entire body. You’d think Will had gotten used to it after years of never ending nightmares, but he never did. If tears drop could be bottled, there would be oceans of sadness he could drown in and end it all.

He had stopped to sleep over at his friends. He always had been a people pleaser, so worry them was the last thing he wanted even if it meant he had to deal with the night waiting to eat him. Luckily for him, the idea of sleepovers slowly disappeared into thin air as he and his friends grew up.

Four sleeping bags in Mike’s basement became a bigger bed he could share with her. Laughter echoing in the Wheeler’s house became deafening silence in the Byers’s. Face hurting from smiling too much became back pain from all the burden on his shoulders.

From an outside prospective Will seemed completely fine. He was always a quite kid, so it made things easier. Sometimes someone like his mother or Mike would pick up on stuff. Like him spacing out for a moment, his breath quickening, a flicker of worry in his eyes, the goosebumps on his neck.

“Hey, are you okay?” Mike said pulling Will out of his trance.

“Yeah” They glanced at each other’s lips briefly.

“Are you sure?” The insistence warming Will’s stomach. He cares.

“Of course.” Will immediately felt bad for lying to Mike. But he had to.

If there was a good part to it, which really there wasn’t but in Will’s messed up mind it kind of made sense, was the floating feeling in his body when he was on the verge of passing out. Sleep deprivation wasn’t the solution but it made him drunk, not that he really knew what it felt like but he assumed.

Normally sleep deprivation could damage you and make you feel terrible, but Will lived in a constant state of horrible. As weird as it sounds, what he loved the most was the feeling of falling. That freedom he felt as his limbs lost control and simply collapsed.

He quickly stopped this habit when he actually collapsed in front of people. It was a Wednesday, 3rd period, math class. He hadn’t had a good night of sleep in at least 2 weeks. The dark circles under his eyes should have made people suspicious. It kind of did but not enough to make them ask and Will liked it better that way.

The teacher, noticing Will wasn’t paying attention to the lesson, made him go to the blackboard to solve a problem.

Will got up and that was the first mistake that caused the following ones.

He saw blur and felt the entire room spin. The ground felt like jelly and the walls resembled heat waves. His eyes rolled to the back of his head. And there it was again. That feeling of floating that Will craved. Except in reality he wasn’t floating, he was falling. For him it felt infinite but for everyone else it felt like seconds. He was briefly up then so suddenly hit the floor, hard. Will felt the cold tilled floor beneath him then. Nothing. Black out.

Will wished he could’ve stayed like this forever. It felt like sleep but it was so much more peaceful. Unfortunately, a second later, no matter how much actual time had passed, he opened his eyes, brightness blinding him. If he looked at the light long enough he could see stars. Then a shadow covered his face. It took a minute for his eyes to focus but as soon as he saw the figure in front of him he smiled. His heart rate rose a little, skipping a beat here and there. The euphoric feeling coming back but or a totally different reason this time.

Mike Wheeler, kneeled by his side, hovering his body. Will was so out of it that he would only later realize that his best friend was holding his hand, clinging to it as if Will’s body would liquefy if he ever let go. What he did notice was his face, the halo of light behind his head made him look like an angel. Did I finally die? Will thought. He saw his lips move but no sound followed. His eyes wandered across his face, until his met Mike’s big brown glossy ones. Mike’s wet eyes screamed worry, but Will couldn’t hear it. All he perceived was the familiarity, and reassurance of still being seen.

“Mike…” Will’s speech was barely audible over the whispering of the rest of the student all around them. Lucas and Dustin stood right behind Mike. The looks on their face was just as worried as Mike’s.

“Will” Mike’s mouth stayed open.

“Have you always had those stars in your eyes?” Will said, beaming at Mike who let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding then the teacher finally spoke.

“Alright, alright. Please step away from him, let him breathe.” He approached the lying boy and gestured with his hands for the others to get back. The circle around Will grew larger, but Mike didn’t move an inch. “Come on Mike-“

“No!” Mike yelled, his eyes not leaving Will who closed his eyes but did not opened them again. Now Mike was scared. His head snapped in the teacher’s direction. He couldn’t understand how the man could stay so calm when his best friend was, in Mike’s mind, clearly dying. “Call an ambulance, dipshit!” Mike spat out. This comment would’ve normally cause him trouble but the situation made the teacher brush it off.

From then on until the hospital, Will went from conscious to unconscious every 5 minutes. Flash of red and blue, and a warm hand in his was all he could manage to remember from the ride to the hospital. Something freezing entered his veins then blackout again, this time for hours.

The sound of the heart monitor echoed in the room. The half-open door let footsteps of people and doctors be heard in the room. After an hour of pacing the room Mike had finally sat down in the chair next to Will’s bed. Joyce, who had arrived only a couple minutes after the ambulance, had offered to give Mike a ride home. He politely refused and insisted on being there as well. She sat in next to Mike whose leg’s was bouncing up and down.

Will’s pulse raising could be heard through the monitor. Both Mike and Joyce looked up. His heart beat kept going up, making so much noise in the room until he jolted awake and his heart slowed down as his breathing deepened. The lanky boy quickly stood up and the petite woman threw herself in her son’s arms. Will barely had the time to process what was happening.

“Hi,” she said, her hands on each side of his face. “I’m gonna get the nurse” she kissed his forehead then left.

Will looked around the room and his eyes met Mike’s. He got closer to the bed. Will scooted over a little in the white sheets, to let his oldest friend sit. “What happened?” Will asked watching him get on the hospital bed.

“You passed out in math class” Mike said calmly, looking at his feet.

“I told you math was boring” Will chuckled. Mike stayed quiet. Will was frowning. “hey... it’s okay, I’m ok—”

“I’m sorry” He almost whispered. How can Mike be sorry? Will inflicted this to himself, he was the one self-destructing. “I haven’t been there for you lately” Will shook his head.

“No, it’s not- you didn’t have to be” Will tried to reassure him.

“Yes I did! I’m your best friend a-and I haven’t acted like I am in these past few months. I should’ve played d&d with you, I should’ve gone to the movies more often, I shouldn’t have respected that fucking curfew, and stayed longer with you guys, ugh” Will stayed silent while Mike was word-vomiting and he wasn’t done yet. “Maybe… If I had been there for you, with you, you wouldn’t have…”

“I did not die, Mike”

“You could’ve!” Mike finally looked up.

“You can’t die from sleep deprivation” Will said, avoiding Mike’s gaze.

“If given enough time, sleep deprivation can kill you”

“Yeah, well, I would’ve stop before that. I wouldn’t have gone this far” Will said.

“How am I supposed to know that?” The room fell silent. They both became really aware of the beep coming from the machine. They held each other’s gaze before Mike broke it and looked at the catheter in Will’s left hand. “Why did you even start doing that?”

A couple more seconds of silence before Will’s shaky voice whispered “Nightmares…”

“That bad?” Mike said, worried.

Will stayed still. He couldn’t go back there. Talking about it would mean bring the dark into the light. But he was scared that the dark would swallow the light. A single tear fell down his red cheek. “You have no idea”

They got interrupted by the nurse and Joyce coming back. She checked his vitals, and the doctor prescribed him sleeping pills and vitamins. Will had to stay the night at the hospital to make sure he got some sleep before going home. Mike wanted to stay but as soon as Jonathan arrived Joyce insisted on giving him a ride home.

The next day, at school, Mike explained everything to Lucas, Dustin and Max, who hadn’t been in the same class that period. They wanted to visit him or something but Dustin pointed out that it would be better if they let him rest. That evening he went to the cabin to talk to El. She had heard about the news from Hopper, who had talked to Joyce. They didn’t talk much that evening –not that they usually did, they much preferred making out– instead Mike simply laid his head on El’s lap and cried. If he rationalized all of the events, it wasn’t that bad –not upside down kind of bad- but for some reason he needed to cry. El simply stroked his hair and waited for him to calm down.

Weeks passed and Will’s nightmares were never mentioned after that. He stopped forcing himself to stay awake to avoid any other incident. He simply accepted the fact that he’ll live the rest of his life waking up swimming in his own tears and sweat, with his heart out of his body and burning lungs.

While Will’s nightmares stayed the same, a lot of things changed in he and his friends lives. Mike and El broke up. Contrary to popular believes, they were okay, not sad. Hopper and Joyce started dating which meant that not one but two people were added to his family. His brother went to college. El started going to school with them and they started high school. They met Suzie once.

The first time it happened, no one paid attention to it, because it could’ve happened to anybody. I could simply have been a coincidence. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t.

They were all six in Mike’s basement, a dumb movie on the television that nobody was even watching. It was more of a background noise. The girls were on the sofa. El was braiding Max’s hair. She had gotten quite good at it now. She used to train on herself or even on Will at home. She couldn’t anymore because his hair wasn’t as long.

They now had been living together for 2 years. At first it was weird. Will wasn’t used to living with a girl, he had always known what having a brother was like but El felt completely different. Sure, his mother is a woman but it’s not the same. However, they quickly connected, and became quite the pair.

Dustin, Mike and Lucas played Uno on the floor and Will was sat against the sofa, drawing the scene. If El had gotten quite good at braiding hair, Will’s drawing skills exploded expectations. He actually considered, once or twice, studying art when he’s done with high school. After all, every great artist is a little messed up, right?

His eyes were right on the boys, so it wasn’t hard for him to notice Mike cheating by hiding a card beneath another one to get rid of it. His eyes went back to his drawing. He wasn’t going to say anything but before he knew it his mouth opened and started talking except, his voice echoed and mixed with someone else’s.

“Mike, you cheated I saw you. Cheating is bad.” El and Will’s voices became one as they speak at the same time. The exact same sentence. Words for words.

They immediately looked at each other -confusion painted on both of the teen’s face- and so did the rest of the party.

“Wow, that was weird.” Max said. But weirdness to it was brushed off when Dustin replied.

“You guys spend too much time with each other, you’re starting to sound like the twins from the shining.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you cheated Mike. Take seven more cards” Lucas said changing the subject.

“SEVEN! That’s harsh, I already have 20 in my hand!” Mike said dramatically.

The evening went back to normal after that. Except for the glances between Mike and Will, here and there. But it had become their normal at this point.

Will knew he’s had a crush on his best friend since forever. But recently he wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t just a crush anymore. Will was pretty sure he was in love with Mike. He used to shiver when their hands touch, now he craved his touch. He would’ve blushed if they ended up being really close, now his entire body radiated heat. Being with Mike used to give him butterfly in his stomach, now whenever he was around he could feel firework in his chest.

Those feelings he kept them deep, deep, down in his heart. It wasn’t just out of the fear of rejection but also because those feelings became so strong that, sometimes at night, if they were buried deep enough, beneath the darkness, he could use them to block the nightmares away for a couple hours. And it was good enough. Until it became the worst.

Like every night, Will brushed his teeth in the bathroom with El before going to bed. Sometimes Will would go into the bathroom and start laughing, remembering that time where he and his sister had a toothpaste fight. Joyce was not happy about it. But it was still one of his favorite memories. When they finished, they said goodnight to each other then go to their respective room to sleep.

When he woke up from a nightmare he’d always try to not scream or breathe too loud so he wouldn’t wake anyone. And so far it had worked. After living together for so long Will was surprised that El hadn’t find out about his nightmares. He had lived with his mother and Jonathan for way longer than that but he came to the conclusion that somehow he and her, were connected somehow. He assumed it had something to do with the upside down, because they had both gone there. But then again that didn’t make sense either because Nancy, his mom and even Hopper had been there. And he definitely didn’t share that bond with any of them.

Once in his room he settled on his bed. After reading a comic book or two he drifted to sleep. No darkness in sight. Will felt so relieved when he saw freckles. It was going to be one of those extremely rare night where he could enjoy his feelings, show them, feel them, embraced them. In those dreams it was just him and Mike, floating through time and space, sharing body heat as their limbs tangled, mixing green and brown, hearts beating in sync.

That’s how it usually went.

Will was so caught up in happiness that he didn’t notice everything losing its color and brightness. Dark smoke lurked on the floor, spreading in Will’s mind. He started to worry when he felt Mike’s skin getting colder. He looked up at his now freckle-less white face. His hair was darker than usual, and his nails had grown an inch. Will felt them scratch his back. Will’s big green eye looked for Mike’s but he couldn’t find them. Mike’s face features disappeared. It wasn’t Mike, its legs and arms grew lankier. The only thing will could feel at this moment was fear and the Thing’s nails digging in his back, making him bleed.

He turned his head to find the real Mike sat in the corner of his room, hugging his knees. He looked terrified. In the blink of an eye, his and Mike’s body had switched. He was now the one in the corner watching the creature torturing his best friend. He could not move. He was petrified. He could only scream, but the sound didn’t want to come out. His vocal chords were about to explode, yet no sound came out, like he was under water.

Soon the pale body of friend became lifeless and his greyish skin became dark red liquid. The bloody mess in front of him felt like hours. When there was nothing left of Mike the nightmares started all over again. Again and again and again, until Will’s body couldn’t take it and shocked him awake.

At the same time, in the room down the hall. El woke up sweating.

Will almost let out a scream that nigh. This nightmare was so much more traumatizing than the thousands others he’d had. He took a couple of seconds to calm himself, it felt so real. The cold, the thing, Mike. Mike. Will threw himself out of bed. He stumbled on the floor and thought for a second. What was he gonna do anyway? Then it struck him. El.

He opened his door as fast as he could. He was about to go to El’s room and pond on her door. But he didn’t have to because as soon as he looked up his eyes met hers. She was on her way to his room. They stood there for a minute, until he broke the silence.

“Sorry, I woke you up” Will whispered. Though he could’ve sworn he didn’t scream.

“No. I just-” Her gaze wandered to the floor, thinking. “Are you okay?” She asked now looking at him in the eyes.

“Yes, I just” He saw her frowning then realized that lying to her won’t lead him anywhere. “Actually, no and I need your help” He took her wrist in his hand and yanked her into his room.

He closed the door behind them and led her to his bed. They sat down. Will took a deep breath before speaking.

“I need you to find Mike.” He handed her his walkie-talkie and a scarf. She took a moment to think. She did not hesitate; she knew Will was being serious she could feel it. She looked around the room, and stopped when she found his radio. She stood up walked towards it.

“It’ll work better with this” She said turning it on and choosing a channel with statics. She came back on the bed, sat legs crossed, in front of her adoptive brother.

It didn’t take too long because El knew exactly where to find him. Her mind traveled into the void, where she found Mike sleeping in his bed.

“I found him” She said.

“Is he okay?” Will asked. Her feet splashed the water as she walked towards him. He was asleep and looked peaceful.

“He’s asleep” She answered. Will saw a flash of his nightmare when he blinked.

“Are you sure? Is he breathing?” Will starting to get paranoid. The brunette took he blind fold off. She looked at Will who was shaking. She took his hands in hers, trying to calm him down. He looked down at their hands.

He’s okay. She thought.

“How can you be so sure?” He said.

“Wait you heard me say that?” She looked muddled.

“Well yeah, you just spoke” Now Will was confused. She took his chin and made him look at her.

Actually, I didn’t. She thought.

What the fuck? He thought. His eyes widened.

Yeah, what the fuck. She slowly nodded with eyes as big as his.

They waited a couple of seconds, their minds blank. Then El looked back at the radio.

“Do you trust me?” She asked. Getting closer to him.

“Of course, always” He said sincerely. She nodded and put the blindfold in his hand. She figured he’d need it more than her, as she was used to doing it. He hesitated for a second. What she was implying meant that he… but then again how do you explain what just happened between them? So he took it and tied it behind his head and relaxed. El linked their hands. He could hear her clearly in his mind.

Okay, relax and concentrate on the statics. Let it enter your head. Now think about Mike. It’s easier when you know the person and where to find them in the first place.

Okay.

El did it as well and tried her best to guide him to find the void. After some concentration and El’s help, Will opened his eyes to see, nothing but El. Her body was clear but the rest was nothingness, except for the inch of water beneath his feet. Smithereens of memories came to him. This place he had seen it before. A couple of years ago when he went missing in the upside down, El came to him, in castle Byers. And for a moment he saw that place.

“It worked!” Will couldn’t believe it. He saw El nodding, a big smile on her face.

He turned around and saw Mike’s bed. As he approached it, his vision got clearer. He saw Mike fast asleep. The mess of his hair on his pillow, and some stands of it stuck on his forehead. His lips looked wet, like he had been drooling. His right cheek was red and had the impression of his pillow on it. He looked more than okay.

His hand tried to reach for Mike but El intercepted his wrist. “It doesn’t work like that here” She said, letting go of him. He looked confused but then she waved her hand through Mike and he turned into smoke which disappeared quickly after that.

He took the blindfold off and suddenly felt tiered. He watched El getting back to herself, their eyes met and you could read on both their face. Holy shit, that just happened! Will didn’t feel it but realized what it was when this metallic taste run on his lips. He brought his fingers to his nose. Bloody fingers.

The next day at school, when greeting everyone Will hugged Mike. Taken aback at first, Mike proceeded to putt his arms around Will. As soon as Will felt him reciprocate the embrace, he tightened his grip. They stayed in each other’s arms for a bit too long, forgetting their friends standing aside. Will’s head rested on Mike’s chest, able to hear his heart beat. He sighted in his friend blue sweater. He put one hand on one of Will’s shoulder and pushed it a little allowing both of them to look at each other.

“Is everything alright?” Mike said raising one eyebrow. Will opened his mouth, looked around them suddenly aware of their friends looking at them. He pulled away, put his hands on the straps of his backpack.

“Y-Yeah, sorry” He chuckled. Mike gave him a playful look.

Dustin, from behind, put his arms around both of his friends. He walked between them, making them follow him. “Come on lovebirds, we’re gonna be late for class, and science doesn’t wait!” He said a bit too loud. Mike laughed and shook his head while Will blushed and looked at his feet trying not to trip.

He was grateful that El didn’t mention last night at school. As much as it was exciting to discover that Will might have powers and that they could now communicate by thought, if Will wanted to reveal their discovery, he’d have to explain the context and he’d rather not. That didn’t mean that they didn’t talk about it or rather think about it.

In English class they sat next to each other. The teacher asked them to read a passage of “To Kill a Mockingbird”, the book they were studying this year. Everyone was silent the only sound in the classroom was the turning pages.

Ugh this is so boring! He thought, looking up at the ceiling.

It’s not that bad. El responded.

Shit! I forgot you could hear every of my thought. Will looked at her.

Not every single one. She felt his eyes on her so she looked back at him.

You’re sure? How can you tell? Do you think we can control it?

Okay slow down you’re drowning my brain with all your thoughts. She raised her eyebrows and closed her eyes for a bit.

Sorry. He pinched his lips

I mean I don’t know for sure, but I’m pretty sure you were thinking something when you hugged Mike this morning. But I couldn’t hear anything. So there must be a way to control it. We just don’t know how yet. Will blushed, trying to block every thoughts of Mike he could have right now in case El could hear, or see.

You’re right, we’ve been living without hearing each other’s thoughts before. I guess it got activated somehow. Will tried his best to smoothly avoid the subject of Mike. Especially with her.

Probably.

“Are you guys okay? You’ve been staring at each other for the past two minutes” Lucas interrupted them. Both of them turned towards Lucas.

“Brother-sister rivalry” Will spat out. El nodding fanatically behind Will.

“Right…” Lucas squinted his eyes.

Lunch period conversation started with everyone complaining about their upcoming tests, then shifted to small other subjects. Sometimes Will or El would comment something in their mind and the other would try not to start laughing. While the others kept arguing on whether Batman or Superman was stronger, Mike turned to Will who was toying with his pudding, it looked weird and unappealing.

“Hey Will, I um, I was wondering if you wanted to go back to my house to help me with something?” Mike said, watching his fingers playing with the hem of his sweater.

“Yeah sure! How do you want me- I-I mean what do you need me for?” Will stuttered. His ears reddened with embarrassment. Really smooth Will! He thought to himself. El couldn’t help but smile.

Yeah real smooth Byers. He could almost hear her giggle. She read the realization on his face. That’s fine you know, we don’t have to figure out how this works today, if you want to go; go ahead.

“Just to help me with a campaign I’m working on” Mike said.

“You’re working on a campaign?” He sounded surprised. “We haven’t played d&d for years” Will said.

“Yeah, I know. I just, thought it’d be nice to play one more time. Nostalgia, y’know” Mike said grabbing apple and took a bite.

“Nostalgia.” Will repeated, smiling. Their eyes stayed locked on each other for a moment making them both smile.

“What about Wonder Woman?” Max said.

“What? No she can’t-” Lucas starting to say.

“Oh! Because she’s a girl you think she wouldn’t win?!” Max interrupted him. Her eyebrows were raised above her big blue eyes.

“Yes” Lucas started saying but Max’s ‘are you kidding me’ face, made him explain. “I mean, yes she wouldn’t win but NOT because she’s a woman” He said using his hands in the air unconsciously to make himself clearer.

“Right.” She rolled her eyes and sat back against the chair. By then Mike and Will were back in the conversation to witness the couple argue. The bell rang and Max sat up quickly and walked towards the cafeteria’s exit doors. El followed her giving the boys an apologetic look.

“I’m dead, aren’t I?” Lucas said his head in his hands.

“Yep” Dustin said.

“Oh, totally” Mike said patting his friend’s shoulder.

“Sorry, dude” Will said, shrugging. All three stood up and left.

After the last bell of the day rang, the party went their different way home. Will following Mike. They playfully raced each other for a minute, then Mike looped around Will until they both passed in front of each other, creating an invisible DNA shape on the road.

They left their bikes outside, next to the Wheelers’ car. Karen’s probably, Will thought. They entered through the basement door. Will knew this room like the back of his hand. He had so many good memories here. A couple of bad ones, but it was nothing compared to the 10 hours afternoons spent playing games or watching movies.

Mike closed the door behind them and was heading towards the couch. Will looked around the room and noticed one of his drawing on the wall. He wasn’t a stranger to seeing his drawing here. Since he started drawing he always gave Mike some of them, and he liked them so much that he’d hang them everywhere in the house. Once he put one or two on the fridge without saying anything to anybody, and for at least 5 month Karen Wheeler thought her son was some kind of art prodigy.

As Will got closer to the art piece on the wall, he realized it was a recent one. It was the one he did when the boys were playing Uno and Mike had cheated. He forgot about it and left it there. Mike probably assumed Will left it for him and hung it.

“You’re still hanging those?” Will asked, pointing at the paper sheet. Mike turned around to face him. His fingers dropped from his lips.

“Um? Oh yeah, always” Mike said, like it was the thing he was the surest in the world. Will beamed at that. “I mean, it makes the place friendlier” Mike bit his lips, his tone made the sentence sound like he was trying to convince himself. Will chuckled and nodded.

“Mike? Is that you?” A feminine voice came from upstairs.

“No mom, it’s Santa Claus. Yeah it’s me!” He yelled back. The basement door opened.

“Michael! What did I tell you ab- oh, Will!” She looked surprised. Her voice went from sharp to sweet as soon as she noticed Will.

“Hi Ms. Wheeler” He answered politely. “I hope I’m not bothering you”

“Oh, don’t be silly, of course not!” She waved her hand. “Are you staying for dinner?” She asked calmly. Her voice was low and friendly. Will looked at Mike then back at the woman.

“Um, thanks but I think my mom wants me home tonight.” He told her. He knew that if he stayed for dinner Mike would ask him to stay the night. He would’ve loved to, but he told El they’d try to figure out their mind connection, and he didn’t want to scare or worry Mike with his nightmares.

“Okay, does she know you’re here or do you want me to make a call?” She turned her shoulder to the kitchen.

“No it’s fine. I’m sure El told her already”

“Well then, there are snacks in the kitchen if either of you is hungry. I’ll be in the living room if you need me” She smiled.

“Okay thanks mom” Mike said as she closed the door.

Mike kneeled down and looked through a bunch of tapes laying around next to his radio. He picked up the one labeled ‘For Mike’. A couple years back Will really got into music, thanks to his brother who introduced him to a couple of his favorite bands and from then Will’s music taste grew and now he sometimes made Jonathan listen to music he had never heard of. One day he decided to make a mixtape for each of his friends, which they all appreciated and surprisingly all loved. It’s like Will knew exactly what songs would fit his friends’ personalities.

“Wait, I’ve actually made you a new one” He let his backpack slid along his arms. He zipped it open and took out a small tape. This one had ‘Mixtape update x’ written on it. He handed it to Mike, their fingers brushed for a moment.

“Thanks” Mike said smiling. He took a second to look at it closely. He noticed his name wasn’t written on it. Maybe he made the same for everyone this time. “Is this one also different from the others’?” He asked looking up.

“What?” Will looked a little lost.

“My name’s not on it, so I thought that maybe you made the same for everyone this time.” Mike clarified.

“Oh. No, actually I only made one for you” Will confessed, a little embarrassed, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh.” Mike’s smiled could be heard in his voice. After a second of smiling, Mike slid the tape in the radio. Soft upbeat getting louder, leading up to Tiffany’s voice singing. Mike chortled, recognizing the song ‘I think we’re alone now’. “Quite fitting” He said, standing up.

“Yeah, well, not every song on this is a masterpiece. Sometimes there are just nice an-” Will spoke really fast and didn’t see Mike walk towards him. He took both his hands in his which made Will stop talking.

“Hey, I like it” He reassured the smaller boy.

Will’s lips parted; his eyes looking at Mike’s loving gaze, through his eyelashes. They were so close their chest could almost touch. Mike’s thumb stroked the back of Will’s hand. Will was now painfully aware of his heart beating faster. Just like in the song in the background, there was a tension building between them. Then the chorus hit and Mike started lip syncing.

“I think we’re alone now” He made faces as he silently sang. Will failed to hide his smile by pinching his lips together.

“Doesn’t seem to be anyone around” Mike moved his shoulders up and down to the rhythm. The green eyed boy slowly shook his head.

“I think we’re alone now” He nodded his head, moving their liked hands above their heads, encouraging Will to join him. He only responded with big eyes and a small smirk. The immediately sang the next part.

“The beating of our hearts is the only sound” Will dramatically grabbed his shirt over his heart. They both laughed then continued to dance and sing along the 1987 pop song. Throwing limps, jumping up and down until the very last note.

The next song started playing and Will felt nervous. He could not, for the love of him, sing ‘Can’t fight this feeling’ to Mike. It held way too much meaning.

“So, um about that campaign” He said bringing Mike’s attention to him and away from the song.

“Oh, uh yeah” He scratched the back of his head. “I kinda lied.” His nose wrinkled up.

“Why?” Will wasn’t sad about the campaign but rather confused as to Mike lied. “I would’ve come anyway.”

“I- sorry that was stupid” Mike said, sitting down on the couch.

“Not stupid, pointless maybe.” He teased. He followed him on the couch.

“It’s just that we haven’t properly hang out in a long time, and I mean we as in you and me not the party. Not that I don’t wanna hang out with the others. It’s just that we- and I ugh” Mike started to get frustrating. He couldn’t phrase properly what he meant. Will placed his hand on top of Mike’s. Sliding it off as soon as he got his attention.

“I missed you too” He said softly. Mike smiled. They sat, their backs flat against the couch, head thrown back looking at the ceiling.

Their hands were so close on the couch, fingers almost touching. They stayed silent for at least 30 seconds. None of them daring to move. The song in the background became louder and louder in Will’s mind. Quite fitting. What Mike had said only minutes ago, echoed in his mind. After all, if Will had to describe or explain his feelings for Mike he’d give that song as an answer.

The silence became anxiety. Will begged in his mind for Mike to say something. He was about to break this heartbeat raising silence when he felt Mike’s thin fingers slowly overlapping his. He waited a couple of seconds before moving his towards him. Will’s heart beat for a total different reason but didn’t slowdown nonetheless.

And just like in a movie, their fingers intertwined at the very moment the chorus started. Like their hands they became one. Their breathing and heartbeats synchronized with each other. Mike tightened his grip and Will responded by doing so, as well. Euphoria ran through their bodies, and drew the biggest smiles on their faces.

Mike turned his face to look at Will as a reassurance that this was real and not a dream. Will after fearing this was all a hallucination decided to look at him. He saw his best friend smile like he never saw him smile before. They probably looked so dumb beaming at each other but Will didn’t care. He felt all warm and fuzzy inside, he slid down the couch, smiling. Mike followed him and put his head on Will’s shoulder.

They stayed like this for the rest of the song, and the next one, and the next one. After about 20 minutes of comfortable silence they got back to talking. The conversation not mentioning their still linked hands or addressing the situation whatsoever.

He met Hopper on the way home. He parked his truck right next to his mom’s green car. He got off his bike as the sheriff got out his car.

“Hey, kiddo” He greeted him, opening the front door.

“Hi Hop!” He ran inside.

They came home right on time for dinner. Joyce was in the kitchen finishing to season the salad. El was setting the table. Will put his backpack on the floor and hung his coat next to Jim’s. He walked passed El, smiled at her, and entered the kitchen to greet his mom.

“Hi mom” He said happiness all over his face. “I’ll go help El for the table do you need me to do anything else?”

“Hi honey, um no I’m finished thank you” She sounded a bit surprised. He went back to El and finished setting the table, humming a song while doing so. Joyce and Jim shared a look, both clueless of why he was acting so weird.

“Someone’s in a good mood” Jim said, looking at an almost dancing Will. He turned to Joyce. “Where was he coming back from? I met him in the way home.” He asked.

“Mike’s” Joyce simply answered. She picked up the salad bowl and brought it on the table.

“I see” Jim nodded.

Joyce wasn’t the best cook in the world but she tried. Her cooking skilled improve a lot since Hopper and El moved in. Jim was actually really good at cooking and Joyce picked up on some cooking techniques.

After everyone was finished Jim proposed to do the dishes, which no one disagreed to. The parents planed on watching tv for the evening but El and Will had other things in mind. They went back to El’s bedroom.

“Okay, what do we start with?” Will said. She went to her desk and picked up a green pen. She put it flat against the wooden desk.

“Try to make it levitate.” She said.

He looked at it, lying there. He got a bit closer. He took a deep breath and concentrated. He focused his entire mind on it. He even tried to put his hand in the air like she did. Nothing. It did not move an inch.

“I can’t” Will said, his arm falling.

“Try to visualize it floating, like it’s the only thing you want.” She encouraged him, not to give up.

Will tried again. Following her advice. He closed his eyes again. He felt energy around him. The more he concentrated the more he felt it. At one point he realized that the energy was actually coming from him. It felt like a halo all around him. He was so used to darkness that light coming from him felt unfamiliar. He opened his eyes to check if the pen was floating. He couldn’t see because of how bright the room had become. His eyes adjusted, the pen was still on the desk but the room stayed brighter than it usually was. Will looked around and saw El looking between him and the three lights in the room. He fully came back to himself and stopped concentrating. The three lights faded to come back to their usual amount of glow.

Will felt drained. Blood ran down his nostrils. El handed him a tissue. He wiped his nose and sat down in her desk chair. The door opened and Hopper entered looking alerted.

“El what’s going on? The lights went crazy in the lounge and in the kitchen” He said.

“That… wasn’t me” El couldn’t lie. Sometimes to protect others she would, but she avoided hiding the truth. Jim’s eyes went from El to Will who held a blooded tissue. He weakly smiled. Then Hopper said.

“You have-

-POWERS!?” Dustin shouted.

“Sshhh, stop shouting” Will said, nervously looking around them.

“How did you find out?” Mike asked.

“He made the lights go crazy in the entire house” El said excitedly.

“Can you show us?” Max asked curious.

“Not in here” Will responded.

“Do you also bleed like El?” Lucas asked.

“Yeah” Will nodded.

The conversation went on like that for the next 10 minutes. Random question followed by a quick response by either El or Will, mainly Will. After the bell rang, the went their way to their class. Mike followed Will and put his headphones on Will’s head. He recognized the mixtapes he gave Mike the other day. ‘Don’t you (forget about me)’ currently playing.

“You like it?” Will said a bit too loud. He took off the headphones and gave them back to Mike. “Sorry”

“I love it actually. I listened to it all yesterday.” Mike said smiling. They walked close to each other; their hands sometimes bumping into each other, and once or twice one of them would linger the touch. They didn’t even notice or acknowledge Lucas and Max walking behind them.

“All of it! There are like one and a half hour worth of songs on there.” Will said looking at Mike.

“Oh I know” Mike responded. They were so caught up in their conversation that it only struck Will that they were headed to geography.

“Mike you don’t have geography with me…” Will frowned and his eyes narrowed.

“No why?” Mike was clueless.

“Because we’re Friday and I have geography class first period”

“Oh shit, um Friday, yeah Advanced English, got it bye” He almost went to kiss Will’s cheek but chickened out at the last moment, then left running. Will laughed. “Idiot” He whispered.

Electrokinesis was what Dustin called it. After Will showed the party what he could do, Dustin helped him research information on the subject. El helped him by training. He’d also do it by himself but found more motivation by doing it with someone. Once he learned how to control it and manage his energy, they tried other things.

El had more than one powers, and Will had been able to travel in the void as well. Their search material was primarily comic books. Who could blame them? They were still kids in a way and all they knew about superpowers came from there. Lucas had made a list of characters with electrokinesis or powers along those lines. From there they tried all the other powers those characters had. It turned out to be a good idea because that’s how they discovered that he could influence the weather. Mainly make it rain or create a small storm.

He could also control electronics, which was convenient to turn on and off the radio or the tv. He was basically a walking remote. He could also connect his mind to certain channel or amplify signals.

All those discoveries took place throughout a week, and at the weekend that followed left Will alone in the house. Joyce and Hopper decided to go on a romantic weekend in a lake house three hours away from Hawkins, for their anniversary. With El at Max’s for a sleepover and Jonathan still in college, Will was on his own.

Mike had suggested a sleepover but as always Will refused. It had started to raise Mike’s suspicions. Will always insisted on not staying, saying he didn’t want to bother, or that he slept better at his house; which obviously were lies. This time he pretexted to have homework he had to work on.

He ate his microwaved diner sat alone watching some boring shows on television. It was quite sad actually; being all alone. He made the light brighter, trying to make the place feel more alive. But it still felt cold.

He had been so happy this past week. So happy that he could almost forget the nightmares. Almost. They always came back at night. But they seemed to be less scary as time passed. Will thought that maybe they finally grew on him and that meant that he could potentially have a good night of sleep soon.

He didn’t.

He was trapped in his mind again. This endless circle of darkness and feeling trapped. The feeling of pure cold through his body. The line between reality and his mind had become almost nonexistent.

Mike having the starring role this time. Sometimes by being the victim of his nightmares, or sometimes, and frankly Will couldn’t tell which was worse, by acting as his nightmares.

Will told himself that it wasn’t Mike speaking. It wasn’t his voice he was hearing. It wasn’t his words cutting scars in his heart. It wasn’t his spit hitting his face. It wasn’t his hands pushing him to the ground. It wasn’t his feet kicking his ribs. But as his vision blurred, so did the truth and he started to believe it.

The nightmare went back and forth for hours. From seeing Mike getting tortured, to being tortured by Mike, to watching Mike getting tortured to-

Will for the first time in such a long agonizing time woke up screaming. It kind of felt therapeutic but he couldn’t tell at the time. He had contained himself for so long that he kept on screaming and crying for five minutes. Warm almost burning tears against his frozen cheeks.

He clenched his fists in the bedsheets and kept the covers so close to his torso. He wanted to pull his eyes out to stop the tears. He screamed so loud he swore he felt his ear-drum vibrate. He let out so much of untold feeling he broke a couple of light bulbs.

When he stopped shouting. The silence was almost deafening. His wet eyelashes met his wet cheeks and his chest rose slowly. That’s when it clicked. He didn’t want to be alone. He felt so scared, even awake. He suddenly had the urge to be held and comforted. Without thinking about it twice he grabbed his Supercom and sat on the bed.

A couple of years ago he wouldn’t have been able to reach him. He lived too far away. But now that wasn’t a problem anymore. Will concentrated, which considering the circumstances was pretty hard to do, to amply the signals of his Supercom for it to reach Mike’s. He felt so weak, so were his words through the machine.

“Mike…” It almost came out as a whisper. “Mike… it’s Will… really… you” Will was drained, he barely had any energy left so the signal kept breaking. ”… -ease … up… Mike” Will was about to give up when Mike finally picked up.

“Will is… you? …-at’s wrong?”

“Please come.” With those last words Will stopped broadcasting his message. He fell back, his head hitting the pillow.

Mike had no idea of what happened. He only knew one thing Will needed him. He didn’t care that it was 3:27am. He got up, took his shoes and coat and hopped on his bike. One the way to Will’s house, a lot went through Mike’s mind. Did Will get attacked? Was the Mind Flayer back? Was Will hurt? When the house came in sight, he almost tripped getting off his bike. He knocked on Will’s window first then went up to the front door to keep pounding.

The door opened. By itself. That was new. Mike entered threw his coat and shoes on the floor. He saw smithereens of light bulbs everywhere next to the lamps. He felt anxiety build in his stomach. He ran to Will’s bedroom; the door was already opened. He almost didn’t want to go in, scared of what he might find.

What he actually found was Will throwing himself in Mike’s arms. He was shaking and sweating yet felt so cold. Automatism took over. He hugged him so tight, brought his hands up Wills hair, his cheek against the trembling boy’s temple. Will clenched his fists in Mike’s pajamas shirt. He could feel his nails dig in his shoulders, not caring if it left a mark. Will pushed forward and held onto Mike like his life depended on it.

“Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Will said in the crook of Mike’s neck.

“I’m not going anywhere” Mike’s hands slid up and downs Will’s back calming him down. They stayed like that for a moment. Their bodies slightly rocking from right to left.

Mike pulled away just enough to see Will’s face. He placed his hand on his left cheek, and wiped away tears with his thumb. Will melted in his touch, closing his eyes. Mike took his hands and led them to the bed. He laid Will down bringing the covers up to his chest. He pulled away and Will first instinct in his worried and scared state, was to grab Mike’s wrist.

“Hey…, I’m coming back. I’m just getting you some water.” Mike spoke softly. Will nodded and slowly loosened his grip, letting him go. Mike walked to the kitchen. Will turned his head to the window noticing the rain. He wondered if Mike had to bike all the way here under the rain, but he didn’t look or felt wet.

Mike came back with the water he closed the door behind him. He put the glass down, on the bedside table. Will suddenly felt thirsty, like his throat had become sand. He drank half of it in exactly three seconds. Mike watched him swallow the water, sat beside him, on the bed.

“Stay the night. Please.” Will asked.

“Of course” Mike didn’t even think about it. Just like he didn’t think about getting a sleeping bag. He automatically slid in the covers next to Will, which was exactly what he needed right now. Closeness, comfort, warmth and… love.

For a second, they were lying next to each other only their sides touching. It felt a little bit awkward. The bed wasn’t that big but not too small either. They could fit both. However, it wasn’t the most comfortable position.

“Do you want me to-”

“Just hold me please” Will said quickly; interrupting him. Mike did as he was told and put his arm around the boy. Will immediately felt safer. Will curled up into Mike. His head on his chest, the beating of his heart calming him down. Their legs intertwined. They were like two jigsaw pieces, fitting perfectly into each other like they were made to. Like their body were made based of each other’s.

Mike tightened his embrace to press their bodies closer. Will buried his face in the crook of his neck and nuzzled in the warmth. He hadn’t feel this at peace in a very long time. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt this way. Steady breathing against his neck, Mike got a little nervous. Every breath sending shivers down his spine. To stop himself from thinking about it too much, Mike found something to keep his mind busy. He brought his hands to Will’s head and ran his fingers through chestnut hair.

“Is this okay?” He whispered.

“Very” Will said. They stayed like that for a moment. Mike thought Will had fallen asleep until he felt him move, his body was shaking, he was crying again.

“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Mike ran his hands on his back then heard Will mumble something near his ear.

“Mike… I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” Will sobbed. Hearing this broke Mike’s heart. His best friend was in his arms sobbing. How could he had let this happen? Why didn’t he pick up on Will’s behavior sooner?

“Hey, you’re not gonna loose me. It was just a bad dream” His hand was on his cheek, his thumb wiping the tears away. Will was so terrified that this could be the beginning of yet another nightmare.

“How do I know this is real?” He looked at his face. “How do I know you’re real?” Their eyes met, watching each other like they were looking directly at the other’s soul. Only looking away to get a glimpse of lips.

“I’m real.” Mike held Will’s face. He felt his own heart beat in his ear and if he paid enough attention he could feel Will’s as well. He leaned in so their noses could touch. The tip of his nose caressed Will’s. “And so is this.” And with one final movement forward their lips collided. Their eyes closed almost immediately. Mike’s hand moved to the back of Will’s neck and brought him closer.

Will felt his heart explode in his chest. Firework of feelings finally allowed to exist outside of his mind. The kiss felt like a breath of fresh air. Like Mike’s lips were the oxygen Will needed, to keep living. Paradoxically, their lips moved together until Will noticed that he wasn’t breathing. Mike pulled away briefly, nuzzled Will’s nose, making him understand that he had to breathe through his nose. It seemed logic but this was technically his first kiss.

After they both caught their breath, Mike kissed him a second time. The boy beneath him let out the tiniest whimper and Mike took it as a greenlight to deepen the kiss. He took his bottom lip in his own, bit down softly, enough to make Will’s mouth open a little bit wider. He slid his tongue inside and kissed him passionately. This new foreign sensation drove Will crazy. He brought his hands in Mike’s hair and clenched his fist in his dark locks. He wasn’t expecting Mike’s reaction. It being a moan and shaky breathing against his cheek. Euphoria ran through Will’s veins.

He smiled against Mike’s lips, who pulled away, breathing heavily. Will kept his eyes closed. He didn’t want to open them to find that Mike regretted what they had done. The only sound in the room was their breathing slowing down. When he finally decided to open his eyes, he was relied to find Mike lovingly staring at him. Will couldn’t believe his eyes. He hadn’t felt so alive for god knows when.

They didn’t talk. They didn’t have to. Simply staring at each other was enough. After studying carefully Will’s pupils Mike brought their bodies together on last time before sleep took over both of them.

Moonlight became sunlight, bright warmth caressing their silhouettes in the sheets. Mike was the first one to wake up. He had thought about going to the kitchen and making them breakfast. But then he looked at Will’s sleeping face and instead decided to stay in bed to stare at him. He was beautiful.

Mike had always found him pretty, but not to the point where his heart would beat at such an unsteady rhythm, until a couple of years back. The triggering point probably was Will’s disappearance, when they were 13. The thought of losing him and the idea that he’d have to live the rest of his life without him by his side was soul crushing. Then he came back and it felt like his heart could finally go back to make him feel alive.

The relationship he and Will had since they were little, had always been different from any other he had with anyone. As they grew older it became clearer that what they had should only be between them, hidden from the rest of the world.

Mike tried so hard to hide it that ended up hiding it from himself as well and slowly started to be distant. He quit playing d&d, started properly dating El and avoided at all cost being alone with Will. He was so scared that old habits would resurface.

Although, sometimes they did. He’d unconsciously put his arm around Will’s shoulder, take his hands to lead him somewhere or that one time, at the cinema, where Will’s pinky finger accidentally brushed against his and Mike instinctively intertwined them.

Mike felt Will move on his torso. The boy stretched his legs, and hit Mike’s lower stomach. He yawned, hugged Mike tighter and sighed, face buried in his neck. Mike was now aware that he had to get up although he didn’t want to, he needed to.

“Will” He said softly, voice raspy from the sleep. “Are you awake?” He asked.

“No” Will replied, sounding barely awake. Mike chucked.

“Will, I need to pee” Mike insisted. Will rose his head, with one eye closed he looked at Mike. The soft look on he wore made Will let out shaky breath. Last night wasn’t a dream, he was real. Mike tried to moved which reminded Will of how their body were pressed together. Did I sleep on him the entire night? He thought. He felt heat waves through his body and his ears starting to heat up.

“Fine” He fake groaned, lifting his body. He watched Mike get up and gave him a smile, he ruffled his hair, heading towards the bathroom.

Will fell back on the pillow and used the covers to hide his flushed face. He stayed under the covers a moment before he decided to get up. He heard Mike flushing the toilet then saw him come back to the room.

“You hungry?” He asked from the door frame.

“Uh, yeah” Will said. He followed Mike to the kitchen. Mike sat on the counter while Will looked through the cupboards.

“So, chef Byers what’s on the menu on this fine Sunday morning?” Mike playfully asked. Will chuckled.

“I can make pancake?” It came out more like a question.

“You can?” He sounded surprised.

“I mean Jonathan showed me once, but I never actually tried it myself…”

“How about I make us scrambled eggs?” He got off the counter and walked towards the fridge, grabbing the eggs.

“That’s probably a better idea, yeah” Will said.

Mike turned out to be a pretty good cook. He probably learned from his mom. This woman was the best cook in all Hawkins. Will had always loved it when he got to stay the night and eat dinner with the Wheelers.

They ate in silence, except for Will complimenting Mike’s cooking skills every five minutes. After they finished their eggs, Will got up to clear their plates. He put Them in the sink to wash later. He was about to turn around when he felt arms around his waist. He froze, the fork fell from his hand and hit the plate.

He inhaled quite sharply when he felt Mike’s lips against his nape. Shivers ran across his back when Mike actually placed a kiss there. He breathed deeply and his whole body relaxed. He tilted his head and felt a second kiss, this time lower and closer to his shoulder. Then another and another, Will turned around faster than his heartbeat and caught Mike’s lips. Grabbing onto his shirt bringing him down.

Kissing in the daylight felt different. Still enjoyable and mind blowing, but different. It felt like they were more vulnerable, more likely to be caught. They kissed until their lips turned crimson and their lungs felt empty. Will pulled away, hands still clutching onto the taller boy’s shirt. Suddenly insecurities came back haunting him.

“Mike I need to know if this is real…” He looked at his hands, avoiding Mike’s gaze.

“It is Will” Mike took Will’s face between his hands. Hoping touch would make him realize it was reality.

“No, I mean,” He looked up, locking their eyes. “I mean this, us” He whispered the last word feeling self-conscious for even saying it out loud. His eyes made movements from eyes to lips. Mike felt his heart sink.

“Of course!” Mike said. “I thought I made it clear, last night, that I like you” Mike looked at the floor and bit his lips.

“Right, I’m sorry” Will shook his head, eyes closed.

“Hey, no, don’t apologize!” Mike said, lifting Will’s chin to look at him.

“I like you too by the way” Will was expecting his heart to go wild but it didn’t. It stayed steady. Because he felt comfortable. Mike made him feel comfortable.

“I-I like you too” Mike said then instantly felt stupid repeating himself. It made Will smile and even chuckle.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Will asked.

“Only if I can kiss you on the couch” Mike said, smirking. He placed his hands on the counter trapping Will between his arms.

“Okay, Romeo” Will said, moving his arm to go under and led them to the living room.

They spent the afternoon watching movie they knew by heart, -mostly trying to get quotes right and recreating the dialogues- cuddling on the couch. A kiss here and there, but apart from that they remained the same. Throwing popcorns at each other while making fun of the characters being stupid at some point in the movie.

Mike was so caught up in making Will feel happy and at the same time making himself happy, that he forgot to phone his mom to tell her that he was at Will’s. While the boys were living the best afternoon in their life, Karen was worrying as to where her son had gone.

They were in their third movie when the phone in the kitchen rang. Will got up to answer and was surprised to hear Karen’s voice. After being informed that her son was there she demanded to speak to him. Will could hear Ms. Wheeler’s voice yelling at Mike through the phone. He apologized and promised to be home for dinner.

The credits of the fourth film scrolled down the screen. They stopped paying attention twenty minutes ago, deciding that cuddling was more interesting. A single blanket covering them. Holding hands, playing with hair, hugging, sharing warmth, kiss.

The front door opened, with no warning.

“-ha ha, very funny.” They both recognized Hopper’s sarcastic tone. He entered the house with two suitcases in his arms, heading to the bedroom. They pulled away and sat up as fast as they could.

“I’m just sayin- oh, hi boys.” Joyce entered the house with a bag of groceries in her hands. She walked to the dining room and placed the bag on the table. “Will, you should’ve told me you were having a sleepover I would’ve bought diner or left you money for pizza.” They looked at each other hoping an answer was hiding in the other’s pupil.

“Well, it was kinda last minute” Will said. At last El came in, carrying a bag as well, and closed the door behind her.

“Is Mike here? I saw his bike outside.” El said. She turned around and saw the boys on the couch. “Oh. I guess he is” She smiled hello and brought the bag to Joyce.

“I’m leaving actually” Mike said standing up.

“You are?” Will said under his breath. Mike looked down at Will’s face.

“You’re not staying for dinner?” Joyce asked almost at the same time, sorting the food items.

“No I told my mom I’d be back for dinner” He answered. Will stood up and followed Mike to the door. He put his shoes and coat on saying goodbye to everyone. He opened the door and headed outside.

“See you tomorrow at school” He was about to hop on his bike but Will stopped him. After looking and closing the door behind him, he made Mike face him and kissed him one last time.

“See you tomorrow” He said then watched Mike leave. He slipped and almost fell off his bike, screaming ‘I’m okay’ before continuing to bike away until he was out of sight.

It took approximatively two and a half second for the party to realize there had been an upgrade in Will and Mike’s relationship. However, the boys, in their total obliviousness state, thought they were doing a great job at behaving normally. Which they were, except for the stolen kisses when they thought no one was watching, the intense yet quick making out session in the school bathroom or in the closet at Mike’s house, not even mentioning the now recurring sleepovers.

He now allowed himself to stay over at his friends’ for movie nights. Sleeping right next to Mike made him less scared of being caught waking up in the middle of the night. As soon as he woke up Mike would immediately hold him and sooth him back to sleep avoiding bothering their friends. After a couple of weeks, they started to sense that their friends might have found out about them. They got the confirmation one morning after a sleepover at the Wheeler’s.

That morning they had slept in late. The others were up while the lovebirds were cuddling in their shared sleeping bag. Will hugging Mike like a koala on a tree. Dustin, El, Lucas and Max staring at them.

“Shall we wake them up?” Lucas asked, sat legs crossed, next to Max who was still lying down.

“But they look so peaceful” Max said getting up on her elbows. They all shared a look. She wore a mischievous smile while getting up, walking towards the curtains blocking the sunlight. She opened them loudly.

“MORNING!” She said loudly. Both Mike and Will jumped awake. Mike’s first instinct being throwing an arm around his boyfriend.

Brightness blinding them and confusion on their face they slowly got back to reality and detached themselves from one another. Silence installed itself in the room while Will anxiously tried to find an excuse. He swallowed.

“I-I got really cold a-and Mike’s pretty warm an-”

“Could you cut the bullshit and admit you’re dating already” Dustin interrupted him, from the couch.

El sat on the floor tried her best not to burst into laugh. He could almost hear her laugh in his mind, which is when he realized how stupid it was. Of course their friends wouldn’t care. They were actually happy for them. Will had been conditioned his whole life to be scared of his feelings, that they were wrong -thanks to his dad and bullies at school- that he almost believed it at some point.

“Were we that obvious?” Mike asked his hand rubbing his neck, sore from sleeping on the floor.

“Dude! you were that obvious even before you started dating!” Lucas said hand gesturing at them. And with that they all laughed so hard.

Every time Will thought that he had reached the level of happiness to finally get rid of his nightmares, the night reminded him of how wrong he was. The more he dreamed the more frustrated he got. He just didn’t understand. Why did he keep having them?

He finally opened up to Mike about them, explaining every details and how he felt every time he woke up. They spent the night crying in each other’s arms. Will feeling relieved to get this out off of his chest after years and years of repression, but still insecure and scared on why they never went away; and Mike feeling miserable for not having done anything even though he didn’t know and felt sorry for not picking up on things.

Will thought that maybe opening up was the key and once he admitted the existence of his night terrors to someone they would go away and leave him alone. Needless to say it sadly wasn’t.

Will started to think his case was hopeless, but not Mike. He convinced him to talk about it to the others. Will was septic at first but after a couple of well-argued discussion, he gave in.

He didn’t go full graphic description for his friends but told enough to raise worry.

“And you’ve been having those ever since…” Max said.

“Since the upside down yeah.” He answered.

“Are they always the same ones?” Lucas asked in his turn. They room was so silent apart drom their voice.

“Mostly, although they became worse in a way” He looked at Mike remembering the shift in the pattern when Mike appeared in them. “The night El found out about it we woke up at the same time and”

“Wait wait” Mike cut Will and turned to El. “You knew?!” Mike raised his voice.

“I-”

“And you did nothing!” Mike screamed. The others were speechless.

“Mike…” Will said.

“I- I’m sorry I didn’t-” She shook her head, her eyes watering she just now realized that maybe she could’ve done something.

“You’re sorry! You’ve literally been in his head and you didn’t notice how bad it was?! You’re living with him; how did you not notice?” There he was, word vomiting again, feeling so mad that there was no filter. He was projecting his own failure onto her which wasn’t fair.

Will had told him about their psychic bond and how they could hear each other’s thoughts. Right now he couldn’t hear her mind but feel it. He felt a wave of sadness and remorse.

“Mike, stop!” Will screamed. Mike faced the boy and seeing his face tightened his throat. He looked back at El and noticed a tear rolling down her left cheek.

“I’m sorry, El. I shouldn’t have lashed out onto you” Mike apologized. His voice low soundinf sincere.

“It’s okay” El said. Smiling weakly she looked at Mike in the eyes letting him know that she forgave him. He smiled back then looked at the floor. The room fell back to silence for another minute.

“What did you mean when you said she’s been in his head?” Dustin asked.

“Oh yeah, um, they have this thing where they can read each other’s mind and stuff” Mike said.

“Pretty cool, huh” Will said looking at his friends smiling, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah” Max chuckled then nodded. El was quiet. She thought about what Mike had said before, then frowned. In his head. In his head.

“That’s it!” She shouted. “In his head!” They all looked confused not following. “I could try going into his mind and see if I can… fix him”

“You could do that?” Will said breathing deeply. She looked at him in the eyes, held his gaze looking serious.

“I can do it” She confidently said. She had to.

They all went to Will’s room and sat in circle. El in front of Will and Mike on his right holding his hand. He used his powers to turn on his radio and El blind folded herself, statics and breathing being the only sound in the room.

They closed their eyes and they suddenly were the only ones in the bedroom except the room wasn’t a room anymore. It was pitch black all around them. They opened their eyes and the where standing in the void facing each other. She reached for him, placed his hand on his head. She felt his green eyes pierce her soul. Her head was about to explode when she felt her body sinking.

In the bedroom El jumped and her breathing accelerated.

All of a sudden he was gone and she was standing in the woods, pouring rain echoing. It was so dark, no stars in the sky. She walked backwards and felt a twig break under her foot. She turned around and saw Castle Byers, or what was left of it…

Dark smoke was surrounding it. She got closer and found a bat lying in a puddle. As she picked it up she could hear a masculine deep voice shouting. She didn’t recognize it but could understand clearly the words. Useless fag, If I wanted a girl I would’ve adopted one. The words hurt, but not as much as the pain she suddenly felt in her ribs, like someone was kicking her. It stopped as soon as she let go of the bat. She winced then kept walking.

She saw a shotgun entangled in blinking Christmas lights. The closer she got the faster the blinked and she could hear this weird noise. It was definitely inhuman but she couldn’t tell what it was exactly. She crouched to grab the gun in the lights but the bulbs exploded before she could touch it. She looked up and kept walking.

She got close enough to be surrounded by the smoke. It was getting hard to breathe. She felt the smoke going through her nose and mouth filling her lungs. Like the smoke had a mind of its own, traveling though her body. She brought her hands to her throat.

“El are you okay?” Max said worrying. El was clearly choking.

The smoke slowly but surely faded in her lungs, disappearing, leaving a taste of sadness in her heart. This feeling of emptiness amplifying as she got closer to the ruins.

“I’m okay”

She was right at the entrance. The castle was barely standing. She picked up a branch and put it back on the side. She looked at her feet and saw half of a picture. She went to pick it up but it flew away before she got the chance to look at it more carefully. Under it, on the floor there were a hammer and some nails in a box. She thought for a minute. She had never done it before but it could work. She picked up the hammer and made the nails float. She used her mind to raise the roof of the castle. She rearranged the branches and started hammering nails and building back the memory.

Before she took her blindfold off, she noticed it had stopped raining and the sun was rising. She came back to the bedroom panting. She searched the room for Will and found him sat on Mike’s lap clutching his shirt, crying on his shoulder. They were both exhausted and drained.

When the night came he felt nervous. He knew something had changed in him, he could feel it but was it enough? He had asked Mike to stay the night in case it didn’t work, so he won’t be alone. The went to bed at 10 pm. Mike soon fell asleep holding Will, but Will stayed awake for a while until sleep took over him.

Swings, a smile and a handshake. A radio, a brother and some new music. An arcade, bright orange and laughter. A shaved head then curls then a thought. A bike, a skateboard then flying. Freckles, warmth then sunlight.

Will opened his eyes. He felt his heat beat. The feeling of emptiness and darkness nowhere to be seen. He was shaking, glossy eyes looked at the boy in the sheets next to him. He sniffed and let out a breath. Mike awoke hearing him whimper.

“Hey, are you okay” Mike was expecting the worse. A single tear fell down Will’s check.

“Yes, It’s just that… I almost forgot what dreaming felt like” Will said his voice shaking.

Mike looked at him smiling, feeling and looking so relived. He took Will’s face and pressed their lips together, hard, which caught Will off guard, eyes wide for a second. He melted into the kiss, closing his eyes. He ran a hand through Mike’s messy morning hair and kissed him back. They pulled away and Will felt almost dizzy that he let words slip out his mouth.

“I love you” He sleepily said. Not processing what he said until he saw Mike beaming and felt his chest move, on top of his, as he breathed. He almost wanted to take it back but he didn’t need to.

“I love you too, Will” It was all it took for Will to feel his heart turn to fireworks sending euphoric wave of heat through his entire body.

And maybe, they might be more okay than they thought.

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