Characters: Levina (MC), Alcaeus.
Word count: 970.
There have been times in your life where you feel like doing nothing. You don't the energy to fool around nor the motivation to set the mood. Not even to sleep.
It's normal for someone to feel like this. Even if you wanted to be out there and socialize, your body wouldn't listen, and your motivation to do so won't appear.
Tonight is not the first time you had that feeling.
In all honesty, you always feel like that whenever this day arrives.
Why does this day have such an impact on you, though? It's not like it's your birthday that it automatically gives you the pass to be lazy, nor it's a one-of-a-kind day off from your work.
It's definitely not those things because it's not a happy day. It's a sad one — melancholic, tragic, depressing, and more words that mean sad.
After all, tonight is the reminder of the time you lost your home — your family.
At times like this, you constantly find yourself staring at the ceiling, mind filled with nothing but what-ifs. After years, one would expect that you've gotten all over it already. How you wish that could be true.
Sighing, you sit from your bed and contemplate what you should do instead of simply lying on your bed. You can't sleep, anyway, so you might as well do something else.
You stand from your bed and leave the room, heading downstairs. If you can be honest, you haven't even thought of something to do yet. You came down to do what?
Frustrated, you hiss and pinch the bridge of your nose. Now, all your hope to let this night pass peacefully is gone.
Not knowing what to do, you put down one of the chairs set atop a table. Maeve's tavern is quite huge, and sitting there alone makes it feel larger than it already is.
It also makes you feel even more lonely.
Looking at the area around, memories of the past flash right in front of you. Memories of you and your siblings fooling around right before a meal starts. Memories of your parents scolding you and your siblings but laugh at your silliness as children.
Alas, all those are nothing but a part of your past — something you can never bring back nor relive again.
The sound of footsteps coming from the stairs snaps you out of your trance, and the ever so empty tavern shows up before you once again. You look behind your shoulder to see who had the same thought like you, coming downstairs.
You can't say you expected it to be Alcaeus.
"Why aren't you asleep?" His voice pierces right through the silence. Even if it's not at all loud, the silence of the place makes his voice clearer.
Pushing the sullen thoughts out of your head, you give him a wry smile. "Why don't you ask yourself that?"
As if expecting you'd say that, Alcaeus doesn't bother thinking of a reply. Instead, he walks straight to the door. You watch him head towards it, and the man, feeling your gaze at his back, suddenly says, "Want to come outside with me?"
Soon, you find yourself standing outside with Alcaeus beside you. The night is silent, the two of you with your back against the wall. You only stand there, and it surprises you when Alcaeus is the one who breaks the silence again.
"It must be hard for you to have no one whenever this night comes."
Right, it's not just me who lost a lot that night.
A sad smile paints your lips, but you force it not to look like one before speaking. "Not really!" you say with fake cheer, hopping one step forward to hide your face from the man beside you.
"It's been years, you know? I've gotten used to it," you explain, rocking on your own feet. "It's not like crying will bring all of them back from the dead."
A shaky laugh escapes you, and the illusion you've created that you've gotten over the past feels like it's crumbling. Whatever you say or you do, it will always be painful to get over your past.
With the last bit of hope gone, you freeze in your spot. "I'm done with all that shit."
Then, suddenly, Alcaeus' strong hand pulls you towards him. His right hand holds you by your waist, the other on the back of your head. The warmth of his body seeps through you, the contact making your facade falter.
"Until when are you going to act like all is fine?" Alcaeus asks, his question rendering you speechless. What are you even supposed to say to that?
"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, Levina." He caresses your head, his other hand drawing comforting circles on your back.
His warmth, his concern, his everything — it makes you want to let all the sadness you've bottled up inside because you believed no one will ever understand you.
You feel your eyes water, a teardrop escaping. Without even meaning to, tears start to fall, and quietly, sobs escape you, too.
When was the last time you sacrificed tears for the family you lost?
You feel Alcaeus' hands slightly shake as he holds you, his embrace on you tightening. You know very well why — the two of you, after all, share the same grief.
"Cry as much as you want," he says, burying his face to the crook of your neck. "I'll stay right here with you."
Your tears continue to fall, and you wrap your hands around his torso as you take in his words. It feels great to have someone to bear this sadness with, to have someone who'd say those words to you.
"I'll stay," Alcaeus says, a shaky breath following. "Just like this."
With no regard for time, you let yourself cry in Alcaeus' arms. An, for the first time in forever, you didn't feel lonely.
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