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#and ignored me until i stopped (to my distress btw -_-)

yiminsuu · 1 year

Note

Can you like.... Write something (maybe like Nsfw of Fluff) about Freyr? I really loved the one with Tyr BTW

You mean write a headcanon or no...? Please be more specific for writers. And thank you, I’m happy you liked it! 😊💕

↳ NSFW Headcanons

The first thing you need to know about Freyr is that he is very charismatic and competent, and Kratos might say otherwise, but we all know Freyr is probably the only god that has been able to unite realms in war to stop one common enemy (correct me if I'm wrong).

So you meet Freyr and he doesn't trust you immediately, as any good leader should, but time passes and you keep protecting and fighting for Vanaheim and he develops a small crush that he prefers to ignore... Until he can't that is, and Lúnda keeps staring at him with an amused grin that just makes him uncomfortable.

Freyr is the first one to check on you when you get hurt, he won't leave your side even if you are safe and sleeping.

Makes one or two mistakes daily when you catch each other staring, he’ll smile like an idiot in love.

Sometimes he just enters your tent to see how you are doing and if he can spend some time with you without thinking about war. Those are the moments he adores.

You need to go into the wild and pick up some stuff? No probs, he goes with you, there's no way he's going to let you go alone, he's there to watch your back... And ensure that no certain Aesir will touch a single string of hair.

Loves touching you, without realizing Freyr might get cozy when you are near. Places his hand on your shoulder, caresses your arm down to your hand slowly, and sometimes even touches your hair if only a little.

You'll be the first person he thinks about when he wakes, and the last thought to drift off to sleep.

The second thing you need to keep in mind is that he is an absolute funny/awkward flirt (don't change my mind), he'll try hard to get your attention.

Doesn't care if you are shy or extroverted, I think the kind of person he would want to be in a relationship is with someone loyal, someone he can cry onto when the thought of Freya haunts his mind, someone he can trust to be himself and not be judged. He is opening his heart and soul, and he'll still be afraid.

Protective. Freyr always puts you before him when you are in danger, you are everything he desires in life, and he won't let anything happen to you now that you are his.

Freyr feels distressed the first time you see him taking the Vanir 'herbs', and it is an addiction and he admits it, if you are willing to stay and help him, he'll see you as the angel that saved his life multiple times.

Kisses, kisses and more kisses. All the time and everywhere.

He also loves kissing you even in front of others.

"Later, Freyr... Not here..."

He chuckles. "Don't be ashamed now, last night you didn't mind me at all."

(I swear Brok and Freya are so done with the two of you).

When he's asleep he will cling to you like a koala to a tree, some nights he’ll whisper the fluffiest and sweetest phrases in your ear. If you try to pull away he'll snuggle you closer.

He loves the little things like your hands interlaced, or brushing your lips together in the dark.

If you perhaps stay at camp and the group goes off to protect Vanaheim, when he comes back he tackles you to the ground, happy to see you again.

Nicknames! Freyr loves to call you 'sunshine', 'darling', and he's getting used to 'princess'. There are times he'll mess with you and call you 'my cutie patootie', he says you are adorable when you get mad.

Dances in the moonlight, Freyr will take you somewhere more private and spend the rest of the night with you, and there is no need for music to make it perfect, looking into his eyes is enough.

Freyr loves you, and he shows his feelings for you every day. Understand that he has a lot of work to protect Vanaheim and he stresses over it often, you are the only one that gives him light and warmth.

#ask box #god of war #god of war ragnarok #gow #gow x reader #god of war x reader #freyr #freyr x reader #headcanon

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shorkbrian · 3 years

Note

So happy your requests are open and I don't mind the wait at all!

I just really want to see a sweet quirkless omega going into heat and sending her alpha Overhaul (Kai Chisaki) into a hard rut and he just pins her to a wall and fucks the life out of her before taking her to the bedroom to knot her.

but you do know that it would 100% be like "hate sex" on Chisaki's part (even though he kinda do like it lol)

(Kinda overhaul x reader x chrono btw but only for a little bit)

Just. Overhaul being able to tolerate you being kept at his compound because one, you're his mate, whether he likes it or not.

Two, you're quirkless.

And three? You don't bother him, you stay out of the way and you have passable hygiene when compared to Chisaki's standards.

But that has to be thrown out the window the second Chrono hauls you into Chisaki's office, the man in charge of watching you when Chisaki isn't around flustered and pink around his ears.

"B-boss, your omega, she's-"

"What the fuck is that smell." Chisaki growls, eyes immediately snapping to your trembling form. Taking in the way you're gasping, sweaty, barely able to stand even with Chrono's hand tight around your bicep and holding you up.

For some reason, the sight of Chrono touching you makes Chisaki itch. Odd, that usually wouldn't bother him.

The smell is cloying; too intense and too sweet, it makes his throat burn and his skin crawl.

"I think she's in-"

"Please, it hurts." You choke out, cutting off Chrono. "Need... I need-"

Chisaki recoiled as the scent got stronger, clouding his senses, making him feel... Chisaki didn't even know. Excited? Tingly?

Uncomfortable - he decided.

"Get her out. Give her a bath too, she smells disgusting." He commanded, but Chrono stepped forward instead of back out the door.

"Boss, she's in heat."

Heat?

Oh.

Overhaul cringed.

Logically, he knew it was going to happen eventually. But on the other hand, he had hoped his omega would be different. you was already quirkless, already pure... surely it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to assume that you wouldn't be affected by the mindless heat-addling that Omega's all seemed to undergo?

His irritation was rising.

"So?"

Chrono looked at his boss with questioning eyes, unsure what to do with the omega becoming increasingly more distressed at his side.

"You'll get her over it." Chisaki decides, ignoring the bitter taste that floods his mouth as he utters those words. His eyes slide over you again, lip curling into a disgusted sneer.

"Messy thing."

Chrono is frozen in disbelief. But this isn't a test of his loyalty, Chisaki truly doesn't want to deal with the germs and the mess and the cleanup associated with omega's during their heats. Slick everywhere, pheromones staining the room, needy hands touching everywhere-

"Sit her down on the couch." He instructs his second-in-command, rising from his office chair and stepping around his desk so he can close the door. "I want to make sure you don't damage her."

That's the only reason. Only reason he wants to be present and watching while Chrono fucks you through your heat.

"You're serious then?" The white-haired man asks, removing the plague mask he wears while inside the compound, thus beginning the process of disrobing.

Chisaki waved his hand idly, resuming his position in his office chair with a tired sigh. "It'd be such a chore for me to do it myself. Aren't you an alpha yourself Chrono? You should be jumping at the chance to bed a nice quirkless omega."

Chrono shrugs off his white coat, looking up from where you're panting on the couch while he stands in front of you, eyes finding his boss. "I wouldn't want to overstep my boundaries with your property."

The brunette smiles, not that anyone can see, but it's clear he's pleased by the crinkle near his eyes, the relaxed way he slumps in his chair. "And that's why you're my favorite Chrono."

You're wearing what you usually wear - long pants, a cozy sweater. Overhaul hasn't heard you complain about the chill in the compound, but it's clear to see it affects you by the way you dress and the way your nose darkens from the cold.

You don't fight the half-naked Chrono as he helps you out of your sweater, unbothered by the temperature of the room and looking entirely too hot and sweaty.

Chisaki supposes it's good that you aren't fighting. You had at first, when he first brought you here, crying and pleading for him to let you go and leave you alone. That pathetic show was quickly shut down with a simple demonstration of Overhaul's quirk, and what he'd do to you if you didn't comply.

Now you're seemingly accepting of the situation, casting nervous glances towards Chisaki, your attention constantly getting stolen by the pale man stripping in front of you.

It takes an embarrassingly short amount of time before Chrono has his cock in you.

And you look completely blissed out, mouth open and letting out choked little gasps on each thrust, one hand desperately trying to hold onto Chrono's shoulder, his arm, his chest - anything you can reach.

The other hand is on your stomach, and Chisaki doesn't understand why until he focuses on it, sees the distention whenever Chrono swings his hips into you.

Chisaki feels himself throb.

The sounds you're making sound like music. Awful music, all discordant and rushed and pornographic, stuttered breaths and pitiful cries, high-pitched and girlish moans in between Chrono's quiet huffs.

The sweet pheromones in the air become sweeter, thicker, and Chisaki can see the direct correlation between the smell and how much slick is dripping out of you, drenching Chrono's pretty cock, his stomach, even splattering his thighs on each thrust as his cock squelches deeper.

It's disgusting.

Digusting but curiously enamoring. Chrono's got you sitting on the couch, pushed up against the back while he fucks you. It's a tall piece of furniture, and Chrono merely hikes his leg up onto the cushions to gain a better angle to fuck you with. Your slick is everywhere; Chisaki knows that couch won't be salvageable after this. Somehow, he doesn't mind.

What he does mind, however, is the way Chrono is speeding up, rhythm stuttering and practically falling apart. He's going to knot you. Chisaki had given him full permission to - that's what taking care of an omega during their heat means, after all. But jealousy is boiling inside him, blood painfully engorging his cock, he feels tingly all over, very unlike himself.

He wants to touch you.

But you're a disgusting mess, smelling sweet and fertile and sweating and dripping everywhere. Chisaki can't believe he's feeling... attracted to you right now.

"O-ohh feels good, r-right there! Yes, thank you,t-than-" You mumble out, drunk on cock as you shudder through an orgasm, cream gushing out of your cunt and further dirtying Chisaki's office.

Chisaki sees red.

He's furious - not only at you, but at Chrono for touching you, and for himself for explicitly allowing it to happen. Chrono's about to knot you, claim you, and Chisaki is out of his chair before he knows what's happening.

"That's enough." And his gloved hands are ripping Chrono away from you, sending the other man reeling as his subordinate struggles to control his alpha instincts and stop himself from fighting his boss, tearing Chisaki to shreds for interrupting his mating.

Chisaki doesn't care, he's too focused on you.

"You're so pathetic." The man hisses at you, crowding into your space. When had he taken off his mask? He wanted to smell more of you.

His gloves are gone too, ripped away in a moment so he can feel your wet skin against his hands, feel the sweat beading your brow before those same fingers snap to undo his pants.

"I hate you, I hate you." He seethes, golden eyes staring at you so intently that you start to cry, overwhelmed with the situation, still craving a knot, craving intimacy and tenderness.

You've reduced him down to barely better than an animal, tearing at his clothes so he can sink into you, closing his eyes at the way you're wet and warm inside, perfect and velvety.

Chisaki doesn't know what's come over him. Normally he'd be disgusted, absolutely incensed at having such filth be in direct contact with his skin. But right now... all he feels is pleasure ripping through his veins, clouding his head, his mind, flushing rational thought down the toilet.

"Stupid, hate you-" his words rattle out on each rapid thrust, breath uneven and labored as his muscles stretch and work to fuck you harder and faster. He's building up to his peak.

One of his hands is fisted in your hair, close to your scalp and keeping you still, the other hand clamped firmly against your hip and making sure you don't wiggle away. Alpha instincts taking over as his brain convinces him to mate, breed, cum.

"You're so fucking dirty." He gasps, voice heated and gravelly as he struggles to fight through the heat taking over his body.

He's going into a rut.

Chisaki isn't supposed to do that. He takes supplements and suppressants to ensure he doesn't have too. Ruts are messy, nasty things to endure, and Chisaki would rather lick the floor of a dirty subway than experience one.

Yet here he is.

"You disgusting, wretched thing-" And you're crying, fat tears mixing with sweat and rolling down your chin. Chisaki feels disgusting himself, wanting to lick the liquid away.

He hasn't felt this good in his entire life, this burning fever pitch rising and rising and cresting, blazing along his nerves.

He can barely thrust his hips anymore, and only then does Chisaki realizes that he's popped his knot, jammed it in deep while you cried and moaned and struggled to hold onto him.

Theres a sick sense of satisfaction filling him up, his mind clears for half a second and Chisaki thinks to look over his shoulder, seeing Chrono still standing there with a soured look on his face, cock still swollen and drippy and bobbing purple against the man's stomach.

"Get out." Chisaki orders, and Chrono knows enough to merely pick up his coat and wrap it around himself before exiting the room. He's never seen his boss like this - so feral and unhinged and debauched like some regular dirty plebeian.

But Chisaki doesn't care. Odd.

He cares about grinding against you, feeling you milk every last drop of cum from his balls, shimmying his hips to hear you gasp and moan and clutch at his body, trembling like a little lamb.

Chisaki doesn't want to stop.

"As soon as my knot goes down-" He growls, lowering his face until it's mere inches from your own, breathing into your space. "I'm going to take you to my room and knot you until you break."

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dreamkidddream · 3 years

Note

Those Doll!anon fics were really amazing! I really wanna do something like it if you don’t mind. Could I maybe get a Yorkie!MC? Like, a really short, really friendly MC until they feel like they or one of the brothers/undateables are being threatened or insulted, then they try to pick a fight they’d obviously lose? I’m just laughing at the mental imagine of this short, unthreatening human yelling at and trying to square up against a demon lol.

Awww tysm!! 💙I missed writing for Obey Me (and we also hit 666 followers at this point 😈💜) and since this was so interesting I decided that I’m gonna do the Undateables first and then do the brothers cause I feel like I don’t show them enough love 😔 reader is gender neutral!

The Undateables with Yorkie!MC

Diavolo

He is LOVING your energy

Your happiness is so contagious, it just adds onto his already cheery demeanor. He honestly feels his cheeks hurting from smiling even more when you’re around (and he doesn’t even care!)

He’s gonna buy Lucifer so much Demonus as a thank you for picking you for the exchange program. Seriously, you’re PERFECT (for him)

As the President of Student Council and future King, he loves seeing you interact with the other students, and he’s glad that they’re reacting positive to you. At least some of them do

Now, no one is to foolish (or powerful) enough to threaten Diavolo or do anything to you that can bring you harm. They can try, but they won’t be getting the results that they hope for

But he can’t help it but find it amusing when you try to “defend his honor” when someone bad mouths him. He makes sure to not let it show (gotta be professional after all) but he does tease you about it later. You’re so small and seeing you just yelling square up to this demon is hilarious. He has no idea what geometry has to do with this, but he’s learned some new slang thanks to you!

He’s finally found someone who’ll go along with his antics and more. Whereas other people may complain about him wanting to do fun activities that seem basic, you just flash a big smile, grab his hand and tell him to lead the way

(You even made matching friendship bracelets and he refuses to take it off, ever)

You really make him happy MC. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s ever felt this lighthearted, and he doesn’t feel the sense of loneliness that he felt himself getting used too

Also Lucifer gets twice the headache now, but the Demonus helps it go away (temporarily)

Barbatos

Ah, so another Luke, except older and that you take your threats of violence very serious, if what he sees (both in the present and the future) holds true (which it does)

You’re still harmless in his eyes though

Your friendly personality makes it easy for you to be forgiven for a lot of things…even if your actions make him give you the side eye at times

Despite how energetic you are (which is something that he’ll never grow tired of) your presence has a relaxing effect on him. Even if he has to warn you sometimes to be careful with the way that you bounce around so much, especially when he’s in the kitchen

He unfortunately can’t be by your side as he is Lord Diavolo’s butler, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t keep watch on you, even without the use of his powers

With how outgoing you are, you’re bound to attract trouble, in which you do at a constant rate. What was comical however, is that it seemed like the trouble you attracted was on his behalf

“MC, what seems to be the issue here?”

“BARB! You won’t believe this! This jerk has the nerve to call you stuck up- well I can show you stuck up! After I stick my foot up your- Huh? Hey, why am I the one being dragged away?! W- count yourself lucky that Barb is saving you right now demon! But this isn’t over- MPH!”

“I hate to spoil you before our tea party, but you were already late and I have been meaning to have you try my new recipe that I’ve been working on…”

You were too busy trying to savor the delicious flavor to focus on what just happen, which was his plan all along. You get to try more of his delicious treats and he gets to enjoy your touch and company. Crisis averted!

He’s crafty enough to have plans to evade you “fighting” and you haven’t caught on yet (or maybe you did and just feign ignorance? Either way works for him)

It doesn’t bother him what people say about him, he doesn’t care in the slightest (and they’re not bold enough to say it to his face). What he cares about is making sure that you keep your carefree energy, and that he keeps to see you with your radiating smile on your face

Simeon

You remind him so much of Luke. Are you sure you’re not from the Celestial Realm too?

Don’t worry he’s only teasing you (kinda) but you do have just as much energy if not MORE than Luke

And you don’t mind helping him either, no matter how “silly” his requests may be

“You’re doing great Si! See, you didn’t even need my help!”

“MC, I couldn’t have gotten to this point without you. My pictures are still coming out a little blurry, but that could be because you wouldn’t stand still- but it does add special kind of charm to them…”

He’s keeping them btw

He was shook when he saw you go off the first time, like he really wasn’t expecting it (Solomon did try to warn him, he was laughing but he did try to warn him)

“Don’t think just because he’s an angel means I’m bout to act like one! I will end you!”

MC please don’t make this demon “catch these hands” violence isn’t necessary

He doesn’t know what that means but he’s scared that he’s gonna find out if he doesn’t hold you back

He has reprimanded you each time when you try to fight others. He knows that demons see him as weak and talk behind his back, but he chooses to ignore them, to turn the other cheek. But just because he does, doesn’t mean that you do, and he sees that now

Simeon really doesn’t want you to fight, and it’s not even because it’s against his nature (it’s part of the reason, just not the whole reason). Fighting leads to injury, and injury leads to distress, and that’s the last thing that he wants to happen to you. And he’s not going to let anything happen to you!

He truly believes it’s a waste of time and energy, and you could find better things to do. For example, by spending time with him!

Simeon may not be your guardian angel officially, but he’s your guardian angel. Always

Has definitely written a character based on you

Luke

Is immediately upset that you don’t stay in Purgatory Hall with him, and even more upset that you don’t live in the Celestial Realm

You’re like the best older sibling he’s never had! And you don’t treat him like a baby either!

Or he’s just admiring you too much to notice

You never hesitate to help him with anything; baking, homework, pretty much anything and everything. He may try to make it seem like you need his assistance, but we all know it’s the other way around (with the exception of Luke himself)

We all know that Luke gets teased by the brothers and even his roommates sometimes (looking at you Solomon), but it’s just harmless teasing (for the most part). It’s when he hears what the other students say about him that gets to him- he tries to show that it doesn’t bother him and he tries to stand up for himself but- their words really hurt him

And no one hurts Luke and gets away with it

You already get onto the brothers for their teasing when it starts to bother him, and now the brothers have to jump in to stop you from trying to rip this demon horns’ off

You can’t really reach them and they’re pretty sure you won’t do any damage, but they rather not take the chance of you getting hurt

It’s not the first or last time that you do this either, and it just makes him feel horrible. He’s the angel here, the one that’s suppose to protect you, not the other way around!

You help him out so much, either without defending him you do so much for him already. How can he ever repay you? He feels like whatever he does won’t be enough…WAIT- he figured out what he can do!

He can get stronger and protect you! He can go to Beel so that you don’t have to fight for him anymore, or maybe have Solomon make some potions that’s like demon repellent but only for those jerks. If those mean demons see how serious and strong he is, then they’re bound to leave you guys alone! Maybe he can show you some tricks too once he’s done. He has to hurry up and tell you the plan then, you guys can’t wait any longer!

Their words do hurt, but so does seeing you putting yourself in harms way to protect him. You can’t do all the protecting MC, he needs to watch out for you too, no if ands or buts about it!

You and Luke are the duo we never knew we needed

Solomon

Ah, it’s about time he found a human as interesting and adorable as you. Where having you been hiding all his lifetime?!

He has wayyyy more fun teasing you than Luke. Your pout just makes things x100 better and cuter

Congrats on becoming his new victim MC

Another one to find you very amusing when you try to fight and won’t stop you either

He will dead serious be recording you trying to fight on his DDD. He’ll make sure that it doesn’t escalate but who is he to stop such entertainment?

He has become tempted to cast a superhuman strength spell on you, and he ends up doing it “on accident” (which has happened more than once)

Lucifer has done the “I’m watching you” thing to him every time he has lmao

But no seriously, he won’t let you get hurt; he won’t even let the chance arise. He’s already pulling you away before you can get yourself worked up fully, dragging you to the library or his room to test some new spells (one that he tempts you can use on these demons). It’s enough to get your attention back on him

You’re a daily source of his amusement and someone that he wants MC, but that doesn’t mean he can afford his favorite human getting hurt on his watch!

He’s no stranger to the gossip about him, nor is he clueless. It’s just all talk anyway, he doesn’t care and neither should you. But it is touching to know that you care this much about him and how he feels…

But he doesn’t want you to do this for him. He’s a powerful sorcerer, he can easily solve this without breaking a sweat if he wanted to, but he doesn’t deem it worthy to even waste a drop of potions on. But since you’re so concerned, maybe a quick kiss would make him feel better?

He thought you were a little gullible, but that’s not the case. You just have a very open and bright personality, one that he finds himself getting attached to more and more as each day passes

If he’s not careful, he might get more enamored with you than he already is-

#obey me #obey me reader insert #obey me x reader #obey me swd #obey me diavolo x reader #diavolo x reader #barbatos x reader #obey me barbatos x reader #simeon x reader #obey me simeon x reader #solomon x reader #obey me solomon x reader #obey me luke #luke is baby

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jeonqquk · 3 years

Text

permission to date | jjk

pairing | jungkook x reader genre | RICHHHH!JK , crack n then angst jskskdk idk it’s super weird , lame attempts at serious shit wc | 996 words summary | the one where jungkook seemingly forgets the fact that adults could make decisions for themselves notes | the irony of the fact that jk is a richboi in the fic but a prisoner in the header✨aNYways i just had to use this title lmao hope you enjoy btw tags weren’t woking, i’ll check it out tmrw morning first!

feedback is always welcome!

“We don’t need permission to date, Jungkook.”

You exasperatedly sigh, lolling your head back onto the couch and take in a deep breath. Beside you, Jungkook is not as relaxed and fidgets on the soft sofa, playing with his fingers which is a habit of his you’ve grown accustomed to. He did this a lot when he was stressed about something, would shift uncomfortably again and again until you asked him what was bothering him.

“Y/n, you don’t understand.” He turns to face you, eyebrows furrowed and you groan, “I don’t need to, Kook. You’re literally a 23-year-old CEO of your own company and don’t know if you’re allowed to date a girl?”

“It’s not that exactly..”

He nods, hesitantly and you can’t help but find his irrational fear funny. You try to stifle but let out a laugh, and watch as Jungkook widens his eyes, scandalised at the prospect of you finding his dilemma even the slightest bit laughable.

“Oh, this funny to you?” He sneers, although there is no malice present in his tone. You play along, teasingly nod and watch his facial features contort from distressed to cheeky. His lopsided grin and twinkling eyes only serve to prove you right further that he was thinking of something.

And that something could never be any good.

Jungkook moves closer to you on the couch, and you eye him suspiciously, unaware of what was going on in his brain.

“Let me give you something to laugh about.” He doesn't give you any time to digest his words before he’s tackling you to the floor, fingers digging into the flesh of your stomach and he straddles you, restricting your movement.

Jungkook tickles you like there’s no tomorrow, certainly giving you something to laugh about as he totally disregards your pleads to stop and keeps going. “Take that.” He’s unwavering as you try to move him away but the force of your laughter has you backing down, hands moving of their own accord to gt aay from his tactics.

You try to catch your breath between the loud laughs, “Jungkook! Stop i- Stop!” He ignores your words, or rather screams, of protest and continues tickling you with renewed vigour. You’re howling with laughter at this point, soft chuckles that were meant to keep your dignity forgotten, hands desperately trying to push Jungkook’s devilish ones away.

“O-Okay! I’m sorry!” You pant out in between the giggling and he pauses, “What’d you say, baby?” When you don’t respond, too busy catching your breath, he resumes ticking your stomach, laughing himself as you thrash around uselessly in his hold.

“I-I said I’m sorry!” You finally manage to get out, still trying to push him off and he finally relents, getting off you and moving to lie down beside you on the carpeted floor.

Jungkook’s white formal shirt is crumpled, both your hair a mess and you blame none other than the man in front of you for that.

“I hate you.” You turn to face him, breathing heavily and he moves a strand of hair away from your face. You shrug him off, resting sideways on your elbow and ask him, “Still don’t know if you can date me?”

Jungkook shuts his eyes, “It’s not that I don’t want to, Y/n, you know that.” You nod. Jungkook and you are practically already dating at this point, you do all the couple-y stuff but the only thing left is making it official to the public.

He’s made it pretty clear to you that he wants to be with you. But, you don’t get why he was so afraid of finally revealing it to the media. He’s had his reasons, you guess, but it had been too long and you wanted answers.

“I really want to tell everyone about us, Y/n, I really do. I just don’t know how the public will take it. You know what’s happened to partners’ of other celebrities because of fans and I don’t want that to happen to you as well.”

His words sink in, and you completely agree with his concerns. If you had been in Jungkook’s place, the same worries would have weighed you down. However, he doesn’t need to worry about others’ opinions affecting you. If there’s one thing he should’ve learn about you after being together for almost a year- it’s that you don’t give two flying shits about what others think of you. It’s safe o say that you’re as independent as a woman could be and you want him to know that you’ll be okay even those around you don’t approve of your relationship.

You want his happiness, only. What others thought didn’t matter in the least to you.

But, Jungkook was different.

He was always so self-conscious, always thinking about what others' would like and doing things the right way. He was raised that way, you couldn’t do anything about it. Jungkook had practically been born in gold, having all the luxuries one could dream of right from the day he saw the world.

He had always been in the spotlight, the media always around him looking for juicy stories. Every single thing he did was being kept track of, and that definitely played a part in his current personality.

It was extremely rare for him to talk about his feelings too, so seeing him like this- addressing his worries was a first.

“I know, Kook, but you gotta know that I don’t care about them. I only want you, only want you to be satisfied.” He looks straight at you, dark eyes holding so much emotion in them. “You sure?” He softly questions, hand coming to rest on yours.

“Are you sure, Jungkook? I know how hard this must be for you and-“ You’re cut off by his lips meeting yours, gently moving in sync. He pulls off with a sweet pop.

“I don’t want anything more than to show my girl off to everyone.”

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adorerdraco · 4 years

Text

I’m Here ✧ Draco x Reader

Request: Hi, so I’m not sure if you’re taking these kinds of fics for Draco, but I’ve been feeling really down lately, and I was wondering if you could write a one shot or a scenario where the reader has been having a really bad day/week and Draco comforts them? And maybe Draco lays the reader on his chest and he hums a small tune to make the reader feel better? You can ignore this if it’s an issue, but I’d really appreciate it. I love all of your fics btw! They make me really happy <3

Warnings: none bc mostly fluff, some tears, super soft!draco

Words: 1.9K

A/N: i saw this and had to do it effective immediately bc i am feeling the exact same wayyy so this was really nice to think about ;( thank you so much for requesting this and for reading my stuff and i’m so glad i can help in a way <3 i’m sending you nothing but peace, love, and light !!! but i really hope this is gooood <3 do not own gif

Life was punishing you, you thought. It had to be. Because there was no way how in the span of a week everything in your day-to-day life had gone from okay to borderline catastrophic. It was as if every situation you were in was taking its form in the worst case possible scenario and all you could do was watch hopelessly as things continuously got worse sprinkled with small misfortunes in between.

It started on a regular Monday morning, sitting down for breakfast in the Great Hall with blissful ignorance. Halfway through eating your toast, your owl had come in through the open large glass windows and dropped a letter onto your plate from home that left you some very unfortunate news and had set forth a ripple effect that began making everything else go downhill as your days progressed. By the end of the school week, you had managed to blow up a potion, lose house points because of said potion when it splashed onto some people and had some physically altering effects, tripped over your footing and fell in the middle of a crowded corridor, failed a surprise quiz, forgot to turn in an essay, got into an argument with a friend, accidentally slept in and missed a morning class, and took a trip to the hospital wing for a migraine that didn’t want to leave you alone. You could’ve sworn you had somehow been thrown into purgatory, or limbo, or something outer-worldly.

“Are you alright?” Draco had asked you right after breakfast that Monday morning as he was walking you to your first class. “What was in the letter your owl gave you? You look worried.”

“It was nothing,” you dismissed quickly, trying to put on a half-hearted smile while you spoke to make it more convincing. “I’m fine, just tired.”

It was the beginning of the week, and he did keep you up late the night before when you were sneaking around together, so he just shook his head up and down and took your excuse even though he felt like there was more to it than you were letting on. But as the days went on, he was becoming more observant of the way you were acting and even looking. He didn’t like that every morning he saw the shadows under your eyes get deeper and darker, and he didn’t like how you would close your eyes in pain when you would groan about your headache. He also didn’t like the way he hadn’t seen you truly smile or laugh all week even when he tried countless times to amuse you or cheer you up. But what he didn’t like most of all was that he felt like there was nothing he could do.

On Wednesday afternoon, he tried asking you again. You were sitting in the Quad with him on a bench and he was telling you a story from earlier in the day about how he had ‘accidentally’ tripped this Gryffindor boy and got Snape to take away house points from him that he thought for sure would you make laugh or perhaps give him a disapproving redirection, but when he glanced up to see your reaction, he noticed you weren’t even listening, to begin with. You had been staring down at your shoes and the way they lined up against the cracks in the pavement, kicking around some gravel as your mind was running a million thoughts per second.

“Love?” He said to you softly. You looked up at him swiftly with a quiet questioning hum, e/c eyes widened slightly from being ripped away from your thoughts suddenly. “You know if something’s bothering you, you can talk to me.”

“I know,” you nodded warmly. “I’m okay, Dray. I’m honestly just tired.”

And you were telling the truth, in a sense. You really were tired; physically, mentally, emotionally.

He frowned, dissatisfied with your answer. “Right, well if anything at all comes up, I’m here.”

From then on, Draco took it upon himself to try and increase his affections and compliments. He would hug you a little tighter, kiss you a little longer, whisper sweet little nothings into your ear before he left you for class. You felt a little bad lying to him, withholding the truth from him, and you saw the concern in his light gray’s when you’d meet him in the mornings and for the rest of the day, but it only made you feel a tad bit worse. You were starting to feel guilty for the way he was worrying, feeling like you were dragging him down into the dumps with you and raining on his usual carefree parades.

On Friday morning, you didn’t meet him for breakfast and you were out of the Great Hall faster than he could catch you. He felt like a stalker when he walked by your class, peeking his head in to see if you were there and well. He spotted you sitting at your desk, hunched over your unopened books with a grimace on your face and your head in your hands. He wanted to go in and whisk you away to somewhere far and quiet, but the Professor had caught him by the door and sent him on his way before he could even think of doing anything of the sort.

You felt the day had gone by extremely slow, relative to how the week was moving and also impossibly dismal. You were counting down the minutes until the end of the school day, ready to run to your dorm right after your last class and bury yourself deep into your duvet and pillows for the rest of the weekend.

Head still pounding, you trudged over to your final class, stopping outside the doors when you saw a small group of your housemates standing around with unnerved expressions as they passed each other papers and spoke in hushed tensed tones.

“I studied all night but my friend took the test earlier and she told me during lunch that it had stuff on it that wasn’t even in the reading!” You heard one exclaim in distress.

“We have a test?” You accidentally said aloud and a pair of eyes turned to look at you confusingly.

“Yeah? Professor’s been telling us all week.”

A scoff of disbelief escaped your lips, an overwhelming sense of defeat washing over you as you turned briskly on your heel and in the opposite direction of your classroom. Tears started pricking at your eyes, you felt the stinging of them wanting to be released but you refused to let them all out in the open and especially in front of people who were still taking their time to head to their classes.

You were making a beeline towards your common room, blinking rapidly to try and clear your vision that was quickly pooling with unshed tears while trying to steady your breathing in another failed attempt to calm yourself. You were nearly there, you could tell by the paintings and doors that you passed by and the black stain splattered on the floor you saw every day on your way to the dorms from someone’s dropped ink bottle that Filch hasn’t been able to get rid of.

Almost there, you kept repeatedly reminding yourself.

All hope of solace was gone when you didn’t notice the body you had unknowingly crashed into. All you felt were strong hands around your biceps, holding you in place from toppling backward and the very familiar scent of expensive cologne and mint.

“Y/N? Why aren’t you in class?” You looked up at the platinum blond sadly, his worried eyes searching yours with such care that it pushed you over the edge.

You didn’t answer him and instead wrapped your arms tightly around Draco’s middle, burying your face deep into his robes and letting out quiet and frail weeps that broke his heart. He held you tightly, pressing kisses to the top of your head and muttering soft “I’m here’s” into your hair. You stayed in his embrace for a few minutes, letting your tears freely fall into his vest with a sense of relief that only he was able to give you at this point in time.

“I’m sorry I cried on you,” you choked out when you pulled away from him, desperately wiping away at your eyes with the back of your sleeve.

“You don’t ever have to apologize for that,” he said quickly. He brought his hand up to your face, his thumb swiping delicately over a stray tear that was sitting on your jaw while you closed your eyes in comfort. “Do you want to go back to my room? I can set you up really nicely and we can talk if you’d like?”

“Yes please, I’d like that a lot.”

Draco interlocked your fingers with his, bringing the pair up to his lips with a warm kiss on the back of your hand before walking the two of you over to the entrance of the Slytherin common room. It was empty when you walked in, not a soul in sight since everyone was still in class and it made it much easier for him to sneak you into his singular Prefect room you were now extremely grateful he had. He watched contently when you shed off your robes and kicked off your shoes and immediately slipped into one of his dark green jumpers that fit you big.

You were perched on the edge of his bed, his scent from his sweater engulfing you and doing a much better job of calming you down than you wanted to admit. He followed in your footsteps and changed into something comfier and when he finally sat beside you with his hand falling over yours as an encouragement to talk - you did. You vented to him all about the letter from home, the migraine, your classes, the argument between you and your friend, and everything else that came to mind.

“And I feel bad for ignoring you and not telling you all this before but I didn’t want to burden you,” you finished with sniffles, gazing up at him with a gloomy expression.

“Y/N, I love you, and nothing you say to me is a burden,” he frowned slightly, “when I tell you I’m here, I mean it, for anything. You’re so important to me and it kills me to see you upset.”

In a careful movement, he had scooted towards you and affectionately cupped your face before placing a loving kiss on your forehead and murmured to you, “don’t ever hesitate to come to me.”

You let him pull you under his covers, draping his large duvet over your entangled bodies with your head resting right above his chest, the steady beatings of his heart instantly sending you into a much-needed peace. His chin was rested right atop your head and you felt his fingers run up and down your arm soothingly while he thought.

“Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?” He asked quietly.

“Can you help me fall asleep?” you muttered, closing your eyes gently when his hand smoothed over the back of your hair. You felt him nod against your head and after a small moment silence, you heard him begin to hum the faint tune of your favorite song.

You lied there in bliss, enjoying the way his chest was vibrating against your ear and the way his fingers were playing with the ends of your hair, curling the strands around his fingers and then moving upwards to massage your scalp. And for a minute, everything was finally okay again as you drifted off into a peaceful sleep, a full heart and with your love calmly lulling you away with a soft and now distant humming.

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thatwriteroverthere · 4 years

Note

hi! i wanted to submit a request for a Derek Hale x fem!reader where maybe he had a rough/long day and he goes over to the readers house and is soft and cuddly and they have a cute night in. btw i appreciate your writing so much 💜

Anon you are an angel! I’m so sorry this took so long, I have a busy life, but I hope it doesn’t disappoint!

************************************************************************

Opening the front door to your apartment, you threw your backpack down on the ground and immediately crashed onto your couch, yawning. You knew that if you slept now you would feel wide awake all throughout the night, so you turned on the TV to keep yourself alert. Just as your limbs started to turn to lead, all drowsiness was knocked out of you by a soft rap at the door.

Sitting up, you furrowed your brow. Had you really heard that? Was it just your tiredness playing tricks on you? But it came again, slightly more insistent this time.

You made your way hastily to the door, stumbling slightly, curious as to who it was. Scott and Stiles always called beforehand and please, oh, please don’t let it be another volunteer. The surprise you felt at opening the door and seeing Derek Hale standing there was immediately overwhelmed by concern when you noticed scratches on his face and a profound weariness in his eyes.

“Did I wake you?”

You barely heard the question. It was like he didn’t have enough energy to speak louder than a whisper.

You shook your head. He could probably tell that you were lying based on your bedraggled appearance, but he didn’t argue when you opened the door wider and stepped aside to let him in.

He ambled immediately to the couch and sat tenderly on its edge. He stayed as still as a statue, looking down at the floor. Approaching him cautiously, you wanted to ask what had happened, if he was hurt, but honestly, the look on his face spoke for him, so you didn’t bother. Not like he would have talked about it, anyway.

You knew this wasn’t the first time Derek Hale had had a rough day, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. And you knew that right now, if he needed one thing, it certainly wasn’t an onslaught of questions or a scolding for putting himself in danger, he just needed someone to be there for him. However, you suddenly became overwhelmingly aware of the silence in the room.

“You all ri–”

“No talking,” he cut in.

“Okaay...”

You sat beside him twiddling your thumbs, wanting desperately to offer him any form of comfort. But the thought was not lost on you that this was Derek Hale, who was by no means an expert in affection or emotion. Nonetheless, looking sideways at him, you decided he needed it and leant your head on his shoulder. For the first time in Derek’s life, he didn’t grumble, complain or protest.

Shit, you thought. He must be more worn out than I expected.

He tilted his head so that it lay on top of yours. You took this as a good sign, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders; they were rigid. He was on edge and on high alert, but eventually his body relaxed and he folded himself into you, finally exhaling in relief. Still wrapped in his arms, you allowed yourself to fall back onto the cushions.

You felt Derek’s slender fingers scrunch up the back of your shirt, and when you looked at him his eyes were squeezed shut, like he was in pain. You started to stroke his hair, and still, he did not protest. This made you all the more anxious to ask him what had happened. You thought suddenly of Scott, Stiles, Allison and Lydia, if anything had happened to them.

“Derek...”

“Sshh...”

You bit your lip. He was clearly distressed, and you didn’t want to make it worse by pressing him for information. You kept telling yourself that if anything had happened to them he would have told you. Or one of the others would have called. He wouldn’t keep something this important from you. One of the others would have called... Yes... someone would have told you. Definitely.

The anxiety over your friends caused your heart to change rhythm, beating faster and faster. Derek must have sensed this, because he looked up and wrapped his arms tighter around you, snuggling his head into your shoulder. Despite yourself, you were comforted by this, and allowed yourself to relax for a moment. When he was ready to talk, he would.

Derek was uninterested in anything that was on TV, so he settled for watching you cook dinner instead. Facing the stove, your back turned to where Derek sat, you listened to his soft breathing as you stirred vegetables around in a pan.

“They killed a beta,” his voice emerged suddenly, taking you by surprise.

You stopped stirring, the news slowly sinking in. You knew he and Scott had been training betas for battle with some new monsters they had been facing. They had both grown close to some of them.

“They killed him right in front of me and I couldn’t stop it.”

Finally turning to look at him, you saw the helplessness in his eyes.

So this was worse than most days.

“If you’d tried, they would’ve killed you, too.”

“Maybe that’s what they should’ve done,” he replied, his jaw clenching.

“Don’t say that. Scott needs you.”

“Scott can look after himself,” he nearly whispered.

You hated when he thought he wasn’t useful, that he wasn’t loved. It couldn’t have been further from the truth, yet it was so difficult to convince him otherwise.

“Hey,” you tried to be as sympathetic as you could without sounding patronising. “It wasn’t your fault.”

But you could tell he wasn’t convinced. You looked at him, wishing that you knew how to help. You didn’t really even notice that you were gazing so intently at him until you heard a hiss of sizzling coming from the pan. Looking towards it, you saw a thin line of smoke drifting up from your vegetables.

“Shit!”

Derek finally looked up, eyes widening. You flailed for the knobs on the stove and cut the flames.

“Ugh!” you frowned at the charred remnants of what was supposed to be your meal.

“What is that?” Derek leaned over in his seat to get a better look at the contents of the pan. “Or... was that?”

Aaaand there it was, the charming Derek Hale personality that everybody knew and loved.

“It’s supposed to be a stir fry,” you managed through gritted teeth.

“It smells funny.”

You snickered.

“Thank you.”

He wrinkled his nose.

“I’m not kidding.”

You tipped the blackened mass into the trash, rolling your eyes.

“I work in a jewellery shop, okay? I can’t exactly afford gourmet!”

Derek went silent, a guilty look flashing across his face.

“I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay. I was joking.”

Derek ran a hand over his face, looking even more exhausted than when he had first arrived.

You dumped the pan in the sink, sighing.

“Look, there’s a take out place across the road.” You reached for the phone. “It’s not the cleanest, but you’d probably trust it more than my cooking.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t.”

“Well, to be honest I didn’t really feel like cooking anyway. You’d actually be doing me a favour if you agreed.”

Derek didn’t smile, just looked at you.

“Um... why did you come here?”

The question had occurred to you as suddenly as if lightning had struck you. It would have been safer at Scott’s place, not to mention it would have taken Derek twice as long to get here.

“Because I wanted to,” was all he said.

There was a pause as you waited for him to continue, but then you realised he was done.

“I see.”

But you didn’t see. That didn’t clear up anything at all. Still, he looked exhausted and so you didn’t argue, instead, you dialed the number of the take out place and waited.

When your pizza had arrived, you sat yourself back on the couch, pretending to be engrossed in the TV. Derek was ignoring the TV and the food, as well as you. Glancing sideways at him every now and again, you decided to risk a conversation.

“You should eat.”

“I can’t.”

You put your slice of pizza down and put a hand on his shoulder.

“No one would want you to do this to yourself. Those betas are counting on you to train them. They won’t make it out alive without you.”

Derek reached up a hand to cover yours. Only then did he look you in the eye.

“You can’t bring anyone back now, so the least you can do is get your strength back up so you can hunt those bastards down and make sure your beta didn’t die in vain.”

“You’re right,” he said, reluctantly taking a bite of pizza, grimacing slightly at the taste.

In the short silence that followed, you noticed how Derek’s back seemed less tense, his eyes less weary.

“I’m sorry I burst in on your evening, but the truth is...” he closed his eyes and exhaled deeply before opening them again, trying his best not to look at you. “I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

You tried to swallow the slight disappointment that crept up your throat.

“I can’t face Scott after what I let happen,” he said. “He’ll hate me for it.”

“Hey, it’s Scott, remember? He’ll understand.”

Derek looked torn, like he wanted to believe it, but couldn’t quite bring himself to.

You thought about Scott. He probably would find out what had happened by tomorrow.

Tomorrow...

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and started typing.

“What are you doing?”

“Calling in sick to work tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“Less questions, Derek Hale. More snuggling.”

You wrapped him in a hug, causing him to emit a small exhale of breath, but still there was no protesting. Running a hand along his back, he winced softly.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s already almost healed.”

“Are you sure?”

“Less questions, (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N). More snuggling.”

You smiled as he once again melted into you, wrapping you tightly around his body.

#derek hale #derek hale x reader #derek hale x fem!reader #derek hale imagine #derek hale imagines #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf imagines #reader insert #anon request

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because-of-a-friend · 4 years

Text

Boyfriend!Mingyu Fluff

MASTERLIST

Thanks for the request @ajusquishy !!! I really hope you like it, thanks again for all the compliments on my writing! Feel free to request more! Reminder to everyone that this is a series I only do by request so if there’s one I haven’t written that you want, just request it! (Sorry this one took longer, I had long shifts at work and forgot I promised to do favors for some people)

You and Mingyu have been best friends almost your whole lives

You both met in elementary school

You were in different classes but the whole school got lunch and recess at the same time

You meet each other on the playground

And Gyu being the big puppy that he is, immediately starts whining to you about how he hasn’t made any friends in his class

And you eventually admit that you haven’t either

And then you quietly ask Mingyu if he wants to be friends

And he immediately hugs you and proclaims that he’ll love you forever

And you two have been friends ever since

You know that character trope everyone loves?

Gentle giant befriends a defensive person who’d kill anyone who so much as looks at the gentle giant the wrong way?

That’s you and Gyu

He’s all fully trusting of others and bright smiles and sunshine and flowers

And you’re all

“That person said what to you??? I’m gonna go beat them up”

Truthfully most of your high school days are Mingyu dragging you away to stop you from fighting anyone who’s mean to him

But really since Mingyu is so trusting of everyone he meets

You really have been taking care of him since you met him

Warding off people who try to take advantage of him, helping him with the favors he couldn’t say no to, and comforting him when his feelings get hurt

Usually you’re happy to do all of that for him because you care about Gyu so much and honestly you’d do anything for him

But one time your teacher asks Mingyu to help round up volunteers for garbage pickup

And on the weekend you were planning to go to the beach with other friends

You get stuck on the side of the highway helping Gyu and your teacher pickup trash

You never let him live that one down

But even when you’ve graduated high school and started your 20s

You’re still happy to help Mingyu with what he needs

It’s a bit different now with you being in university and Mingyu being an idol

But you’re also both so much more grown up and mature and understanding that it’s not just the two of you against the world anymore

You’ve made more friends and Mingyu has the boys

Who are all incredibly happy you’re around btw

Especially Coups who sometimes finds being a leader to twelve really stressful and is incredibly happy that Mingyu has someone to depend on even when he gets busy

But aside from all of that, not a lot changes between you and Gyu

Except

“Honestly, Woozi, I don’t know what I’d do without them, [Y/N]’s the kindest person I’ve ever met and I feel like they made me who I am and I honestly can’t even imagine life without them”

“It sounds like you’re in love with them Gyu”

And Mingyu’s like

*white guy blinking gif*

And he realizes that oh

He definitely is in love with you

And after that he’s just

Suffering™

Because he is so completely infatuated with you

And you’re just like

Oblivious™

And he starts convincing himself that you don’t feel the same way

“You don’t know until you tell them, though, Gyu.”

So Mingyu decides he’s gonna tell you

He hypes himself up

Dresses up really nice

Practices a speech in the mirror

Tries to ignore Seungkwan and Hoshi walking in every once in awhile to tease him

And heads over to your place

And when he walks in

You’re...

Packing???

“Oh hey Gyu, I have big news”

He doesn’t want to assume the worst but he can feel his heart sink down to his feet

“You know that summer internship I applied for? The one abroad? I got it!”

You squeal excitedly and grab Gyu’s arms as you jump up and down

“Can you believe it? The whole summer overseas, interning at my dream job!!!”

“No, I can’t...”

“What are you so dressed up for? Do y’all have something important scheduled today?”

“Oh, uh, yeah”

“Bummer, I was gonna force you to help me pack”

Mingyu is distressed when he gets back home

What if he tells you and you get into a relationship but it starts off long distance and it’s too much and your relationship ends before it can even begin?

What if he doesn’t tell you and you meet someone while you’re there and it’s over for him?

He just lays face down in his bed the rest of the day, groaning and pulling at his hair

When the day comes for you to leave, he drives you to the airport

“Remember the time change when you try to call me, and make sure to keep me updated on how that new song is going, and tell Hoshi I said to be a little nicer when he’s teaching you the choreo and...”

You stop in your rant when you see Mingyu’s forlorn face

“Hey, it’s only three months-”

“Three months and two weeks” he pouts

“Three months and two weeks” you roll your eyes “But it’ll be over before you know it, I’ll be home soon!”

He nods before pulling you into a tight tight tight hug

And you start to pull away but he just grabs onto you tighter so you just let him hold you for a minute

“I made you some snacks and stuff for the plane ride”

He hands you a bag before sending you off towards your gate

He waves until he can’t see you anymore

To be honest, you don’t really look inside the bag until you’ve already landed and reached the hotel you’re staying in

It’s because you know you’ll miss home and you wanted to have that with you when you were so far away

So you pull out Mingyu’s snacks and chow down

Then you look through the bag to find the other things he packed

An extra pair of headphones bc you always forget yours

Some face masks

Other odds and ins

And a letter

You put the letter to the side, deciding to only read it when you really miss home

Which happens half way through your internship

You get back to your hotel room absolutely exhausted, thinking about how you’ve only made it halfway through

And you really really want to go home

Your employers told you they’d give you some time off

But you’re not sure you’re gonna take them up on their offer

You turn over in your bed and reach around to find the letter Mingyu had written you

You stare at your name written in his handwriting for a bit before opening it

It’s mostly a pretty standard letter

He tells you how much he’ll miss you

How great he thinks you’ll do at your internship

How nervous he is for their comeback

“I’ll give it my all but it won’t be the same since my heart will be across the sea”

You reread it five times thinking you must be misinterpreting it

But nope there it is

You decide to take the vacation days

Mingyu is nothing short of surprised when you show up to the dorm halfway through the summer

“Well you’re back early”

“Oh I’m just here on my time off”

“Why’d you come here for your time off?? You were abroad, there were places you could’ve seen and-”

“Mingyu, I’m in love with you”

He stops dead in his tracks

“What?”

“I don’t think I realized it until I read your note but... I love you”

Time stops for Mingyu

He doesn’t even realize it until

“Usually when people tell you they love you, some sort of response is expected”

“Oh right sorry”

He steps forward towards you and looks over your face

He forces you to look at him by pinching your chin between two fingers and guiding your face towards his

“I love you too”

Then he presses his lips softly against yours and kisses you slowly

As it turns out the long distance isn’t so bad once you go back to your internship

You call as much as you can and send each other gifts

And once you get back

You two are inseparable

Like still the same duo as always

But with a lot more fluff added on top

Just smothering each other with affection

Constantly

“Mingyu please, [Y/N] has their own place, can’t y’all be gross and mushy there instead of at the dorm???”

“Quiet maknae”

Mingyu is elated to be your boyfriend

Like honestly he’s been waiting for this his whole life

He’s kind of clingy in a cute way

Every time you two see each other at the end of the day he runs to you to hug you and greet you

Since you two were already with each other 24/7 before you started dating

Your relationship is really easy

You know how to navigate arguments with each other well

You know each other’s habits

And favorite things

It was already a perfect situation with a beautiful love added on top

Mingyu isn’t always super open about his feelings

But sometimes at night when it’s super late

He’ll lay next to you and play with your hands as he quietly whispers his deepest feelings to you

You always take him seriously at times like this so he knows he can trust you and that he’s safe with you always

Like Hoshi, he’s a bit of a crier at times like this

He’s just so utterly happy to be with someone who cares for him so much and makes him feel so loved

So he can’t help but tear up when he tells you he loves you

Usually it’s during your late night talks

But sometimes it happens in the middle of the day

You’ll just be talking about something or cleaning the kitchen or doing something to entertain yourself and you’ll look over

And Mingyu will have a pout on his face and tears in his eyes

And you’re like ??????

“Babe what’s the matter???”

“I just love you a lot”

Cue the giant puppy pushing himself into your arms and burying his face in your neck

You two switch on being the little spoon quite often bc you both like being held by the other

There are some nights when you both want to be the little spoon and you’ll try to stand your ground but then he’ll act cute to convince you to let him be it

Cue knocking on the wall next to the bed

“Mingyu, [Y/N], please remember that this is a dorm housing twelve other people that don’t want to hear your disgustingly cute argument over who gets to be the little spoon”

“Oh god, Hoshi hyung, you heard that???”

Hoshi is bitter that y’all kept him up

But not bitter for his new material to blackmail Mingyu with lol

But you’re not the only one taking care of Mingyu

Mingyu does lots to take care of you

He remembers your allergies bc sometimes you forget and almost eat something that might set off a reaction

He’ll slap it out of your hand like you do when a baby picks something up off the floor and tries to put it in their mouth lol

When you’re stressed from classes he’ll stay up all night with you until you finish your homework

Even if he can’t help you with it, he’ll keep you company until it’s done

And he’ll make you lots of yummy food while you’re working on it

When you’re upset he’ll hold you while you cry/silently mull it over/rant about what’s happening

And he’ll massage your back and pet your head

Buys you lots of cheesy couple gifts

“Look [Y/N]! I bought us couple plushies for when I leave on tour”

“He stole that idea from me by the way”

“Shut UP maknae”

But he’s willing to do anything to make you happy

Like how you are for him

You two have a one in a million love story

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jeonsblackgf-writes · 3 years

Text

ONE PLUS ONE || 1 ||

✨Summary: Trials and Tribulations of vinnie and his gf.

✨pairing: Vinnie Hacker x black!OC

✨genre: fluff ig

✨word count: 1.7k

Both characters are like 22 in this btw.

______________________________________🖊

"Come on Rhey, it's not funny." Vin groaned, already embarrassed at the outcome of his recent tiktok. He had posted a thirst trap on tiktok with boxers on. He thought the video looked okay, until he read the comments where people were talking about his dick size.

Ignoring him, Rhey continued to laugh, her box braid up-do coming down in the process. She scrolled through the comments to read more as her boyfriend glared at her, "Look at this one someone said Your dick looks so small I bet your girlfriend uses it as a toothpick.' I AM SCREAMING"

"Ha ha ha." He grumbled, crossing his arms as he kept his eyes on her. The comments weren't even all that funny, she just wanted something to laugh at.

"Awwww is the wittle baby upset his weewee is small." Rhey playfully cooed at him, grabbing his face in her hands. His cheeks went red as he felt her warm hands move his face fro side to side in a cooing manner, as if she were his grandmother.

"Baby stop it's not funny. Someone said my dick looks like a pebble. My dick is literally 11 inches. What fucking pebble are they talking about." He complained as he stood up from the couch and went into their room. The second he closed the door, the rest of their friends came inside of her LA villa with confused faces. She completely forgot she gave them keys.

"He's mad his fans are calling his dick small." She responded before walking into their room to see him lying down, stomach on the bed with his phone in his hand scrolling through social media. She walked over to him and laid on top of him, putting her head on his shoulder so that she could whisper in his ear.

"You know I was only joking right. You have a whole girlfriend, your thirst trapping days are over." She stated her breathe fanning his ear, causing chills to run down his arms. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He only posted it because half his tiktok was now filled with his girlfriend. People were tired of him expressing how long they were together. It's been 8 years, them getting together at 14.

"Everyone knows you radiate big dick energy." She exclaimed, trying to cheer him up but it didn't work. He was still upset about a bunch of 12 year old calling his dick small.

Not knowing what to do, Rhey started to get up to see the rest of their friends but Vinnie quickly grabbed her and turned her around to where she was on the bed and he was on top of her.

"I was fine a long time ago. I just wanted your attention." He admitted, laying his head on her chest, their typical position. She snorted and smacked the back of his head. He laughed and kissed her cheek

"What time do you have to head back to the studio?" Vinnie asked, momentarily breaking the silence. Rhey checked her phone.

"In about an hour. I have one more song that needs to be done. I just have I finish the last verse and record it." She replied.

Of course she wasn't going to tell him that the entire song was about him...and that she named it after him. What he won't know won't hurt him. She never told him about the other songs or the album cover either, hence why she made him do a photo shoot with her a few months ago.

"Great so that gives me enough time to cuddle you and post you again." He replied, as he went onto his phone and pulled up instagram. Rhey sighed. Every time he posted her his fans went crazy for no reason. They hated the fact that he was with someone who had a much larger platform than him.

He stuck his tongue out while she puckered her lips while grabbing his face.

"Well my phone is gonna blow up. Thanks for that Vincent." Rhey sighed as she awaited the thousands of notifications from IG.

"No problem princess." He replied cheekily, giving his girlfriend a huge smile. She playfully rolled her eyes at him.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for the next 20 to 30 minutes. No we're we're spoken, just the soft sounds of breathing could be heard from both partners. They were well aware that their friends were still in their house but they didn't care.

"Wanna know what I always found funny?" Rhey asked, playing with her boyfriends fingers. Vinnie perked his head up lightly, waiting for an answer.

"When we were 18, and I was just getting started with my career and you were getting hella famous on tiktok like you are now. I was always told that you and I would never work because of our race and two completely different personalities despite them not knowing we've been together since 2012. I don't know why I think it's funny but it just is." She explained, not looking at Vinnie. She knew he had always felt some type of way when people mentioned our relationship in a negative way. He was still getting over his anger issues at the time so of course when your at the peak of your influencer career, you're gonna make some rash decisions.

"I mean i've made some bad decisions I admit, but I knew the second I met you all of that had to change. I don't know why, but there was always something about you that I had to get to know on a more personal level when we were 14. You really are a light in my life, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Even with me being 18 at that time and so blind to new found fame, I knew what I wanted and it was you." Vinnie explained himself.

There was a period of time where he knew his feelings for Rhey were real but he knew that if he wanted to be the guy she wanted him to be he had to change, so they remained friends until he got his shit together and then he finally did he built up enough courage to ask her out, and it they're still together years later.

"Oh shit! I have to go!" Rhey shrieked after checking the time on her phone, jumping up from the bed. She hurriedly grabbed her nike slides and wallet, before rushing over to Vinnie to give him a kiss, which he happily returned, but before she turned around to leave he grabbed her hand causing her to look back at him.

"Am I gonna get a little snippet of the album?" He asked sneakily, making his girlfriend laugh.

"Theres 22 songs on the album. That's the only hint you're getting." She laughed before running out of the room to head to the studio.

Fortunately she made it in time, seeing her manager standing in front of the main studio door, waiting for her. She walked up to her and smiled wearily, not wanting to be scolded for being the second one to arrive.

"It's about time!" She exaggerated, grabbing the key and opening the door. Rhey hurriedly facetimed Vinnie who answered on the second ring. His face was deadly nonchalant as he looked at her. That's when she knew he was upset that she had left him so she tried to cheer him up by posing but it didn't work.

"I'm getting a studio built in the house. I hate leaving," She sighed, making a smile to quickly etch on his face. She rolled her eyes at his childish antics.

"I'm going to a meeting. Apparently some modelling company wants to meet up with me but my agent won't tell me who so we'll see how it goes." Vinnie explained through the phone. His nerves were shot with anxiousness.

"Well let me know how it goes."

"I will, I love you."

"I love you more,"

She hung up the phone and walked into the studio to begin her session, her producer, Pierce already working on some new beats for her last verse in her last song. After that gets perfected, the album is complete.

"You ready to get this masterpiece completed?"

Rhey smiled nervously. "Let's do it!"

"I know you said your boyfriend was your main focus behind the album. Is all the songs about him?" Pierce asked as he messed with a few buttons while Rhey got her lyric book out.

"Yes each and every song is about either him or our relationship." She replied mindlessly, flipping through pages, after finding the page with her recent song on it. She started to write words down that had came to her in the morning when she woke up. She smiled once she realized she had just finished her last verse for her last song on the album.

"Listen to this and tell me what you think about it. I added some small guitar riffs on the beginning to give it more of a natural groove." Pierce stated, turning the volume up. All of her songs were a little upbeat and happy and the last song was slow and smooth. A great way to end an album.

"It's amazing Pierce." She whispered, trying to get herself not to cry. She had been trying to find a way to express her love for Vinnie for MONTHS, and this album just might've done it.

Pierce smiled, "Then get yo ass in the booth and let's record it." He pushed her into the booth and got the music ready as she started to get herself together to sing.

A few minutes later she stopped singing and sighed in happiness. Her album was finally finished.

>1 hour later<

"BABY! VINNIE WHERE ARE YOU?" Rhey yelled as she walks through the house, rapidly throwing her things all over the place, excited to tell her boyfriend about the news.

"Bedroom." He replied.

Rhey ran inside with a smile on her face, only for it drop once she saw the long look on her boyfriends face. He sighed and grabbed her hand, making her sit beside him. His face showed distress so she news couldn't have been good.

"The surprise meeting that I was had with vogue...they wanna sign me." He sighed, clearly not happy about the offer.

"Are you kidding me? This is huge! It means we'll be under the same company! How are you not happy about this?" She exclaimed with a large smile on her face.

"It's for Vogue Paris...not L.A."

Her smile dropped...

#vinnie #vinniehacker #black!reader #black reader #interracial

79 notes · View notes

finnoky · 3 years

Note

AU where Quirin takes and raises Eugene after the DK falls

•| Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts |•

Oh you have no idea how much this enables me - I stand by Quirin raising Eugene until the end of time bc it’s what they BOTH deserve

1) Oki so, here we see Eugene taken away as a baby without disclosing an EXACT location — that will not stop Quirin though, who had a stance against cutting him off completely despite it being Edmunds orders [It made sense to send the boy away but to send him to an ORPHANAGE was another story] Quirin finds Eugene a month or so after they get separated, during that time he found a house and a stable farm to raise a kid on [Gotta have an income] and then promptly goes to the orphanage and adopts Eugene.

By then, Eugene’s name has already been changed and frankly... Quirin thinks it suits him, though he occasionally slips up and calls him Horace. He feels a duty to raise the Prince but also kinda has a “My son now” mentality! Disagrees with Edmunds choices + decides... His kingdom is doomed, so he’s gonna ensure Eugene gets a stable upbringing with KNOWLEDGE of the Dark Kingdom without necessarily telling him “Oh BTW you’re the prince”. Being a father is hard and he struggles a lot, esp in early days, it’s a whole new challenge from being a knight but... Not one he really regrets?

Cue some fluff! Knight-dad trying to raise a baby and establish a life in a new country — Over time he grows and becomes Village Leader + Develops a bond with the monarchs based on his knowledge and previous high-rank in society from being a knight! Gets offered a guard position but turns it down in favour of spending time with his toddler son. Eugenes first word is Dada and Quirins never felt so content. Baby fluff of Eugenes milestones — Quirin has Eugene helping on the fields as soon as he can toddle without tripping (tho it’s mostly Eugene playing and running around while Quirin works) Toddler Eugene is a little darling and knows exactly how to use his cuteness to get praise and sweets

2) Eugene starts thievery / acting out soon after Quirin dates and marries Ulla, though it soon become a hobby he usually indulges in with his friend Arnie [though they take on the names of the coolest book characters Flynn Rider and Lance Strongbow!] Quirin thinks it’s just a phase and leans into the whole calling Eugene ‘Flynn’ because... He really loves the books, that’s not too odd? Though he doesn’t know of crimes + just thinks they go out to play a lot. Eugene ignored Ulla for the first few weeks because he doesn’t like the idea of someone new staying around — He doesn’t hate her, it just raises a lot of questions about his mum that Quirin doesn’t know how to answer... He resolved on the explaination that she was very sick and couldn’t take care of him anymore, though loved him dearly — it’s enough to placate him.

Eugene doubles down on stealing when he’s 10 and suddenly there’s gonna be a new baby in the house. [He doesn’t WANT a sibling + worries Quirin will love the baby more than him since he knows he’s adopted & all that though is too scared to ask] Eugene grows an attitude and Quirin finds himself exhausted and constantly caught in petty bickers as Eugene keeps running away + acting up, especially to his wife (Who loves Eugene very much, of course) ‘Flynn’ declares he wants to travel the world and be far away from step-mums and nasty babies, uhhh Domestic fall out stuff?

Things change when baby gets here and suddenly Eugene is a big brother and Quirin is MORE distracted, sometimes they forget to even read him a story and he can’t stand the squirmy little creature... All it does is cry and take what little attention his misbehaviour had earned him... So naturally, petty crime continues + Eugene starts caring less about getting caught, so it becomes more risky. He and Lance befriend some bad influences and start taking Big Kid Crime. It’s fun! Until Eugene is brought home by a guard and Quirin gives him the silent treatment for the next week. Quirin... He loves his sons, both of them, but he just isn’t sure how to handle a distressed 11 year old and a baby, it feels like there’s not enough hours in the day and Eugene is SET on making life harder for everyone.

Eugene stays against ‘Varian’, frequently makes the baby the villain in his games and makes him cry on several occasions. It gets even worse when he starts crawling bc now he can’t get anytime alone, it’s just frustrating! The solution probably comes when Varians starting to talk and he says ‘Oo-gee’ as one of his first words — ‘Lisa’s first word’ style — and Quirin and Ulla admit that Varian is obsessed with Eugene. It’s sorta a wake up call for Eugene to start trying to get along with the kid, and it works! He finds it fun to teach him things & have someone to talk to (even if he just babbles back) By the time Eugene is 12 he’s calling Ulla mum and love spending time with his little brother

3) Right! When Eugene is about 18 he picks up theiving again, mostly because he isn’t suited to the farm life and it’s easy money (Plus how else is he gonna achieve his dream of financial independence?) He moves out the farm under the guise of finding a new life with his best friend, though they quickly realise it’s not amazing when they get tangled up with the Baron + his antics. Eugene visits home every so often and claims everything is fine, it’s going great, he doesn’t need any extra help + his life is just dandy. His dishonesty mostly bc he doesn’t wanna worry Quirin and there’s been a bit of a strain since Ulla passed away.

Life keeps on like this. Eugene ages, steals alchemy supplies for Varian and hides his true income source because he wants to make Quirin and Varian proud! Varian grows up to be more headstrong in what he wants because he has someone standing up for him and telling him he’s proud, though the longer Eugene spends away the harder it gets? He loves it when Eugenes here! But the house feels empty without him, and Quirin is so busy + stressed from Varians experiments that there’s still that desire to do more, prove himself.

4) Movie diverts a bit! Eugene finds out about the hair glow and thinks... If one person knows about this then it’s him, and takes Rapunzel to Old Corona over night rather than a campfire. Varian is ecstatic to see him though gets confused by a random girl Eugene claims to have just found — He’s about to ask questions when Eugene asks if Varian could do his magic thing to find out about her hair. Varian insists it’s alchemy and agrees, dragging Raps down into the lab! Boop gothel talks to her when Varians gathering all the equipment and talks her ear off about how cool Eugene is and asks how they found each other since the story is weird... Experiements start!

Meanwhile Eugene is talking to Quirin, when Quirin pulls out a wanted poster and puts it on the table. He finally found out about how bad Eugenes crimes are and wants answers. Now. Eugene sits and tries to explain its not what it looks like, but Quirin doesn’t wanna hear it. The disappointment is evident and Quirin criticises “I thought you grew out of this, what role model is this for Varian?” Eugene doesn’t have an answer but argues his case that it was to be reliant — and he doesn’t wanna do it anymore anyway! Quirin accuses him of using the girl, while Eugene insists her name is Rapunzel and he’s just helping her, get the crown, be set for life and never have to bother him again.

Their argument is cut short by a Varian coming back upstairs looking frazzled, says there’s something about the magic that’s familiar but he can’t place it — sure is strong tho, and continues gushing and asking Eugene for all the details of what he’s been up to. Eugene... Explains, his usual light-hearted rendition of a great quest, while Quirin leaves and stays upstairs the rest of the night.

Varian sees them off in the morning! Hours after they’re gone Vari is still looking into the magic thing — that’s when he remembers the old legend about a sundrop... about how it saved the Queen... About the Princess. Varian sneaks out the house and heads up to the lantern festival to tell Eugene and Rapunzel his revelation, but he gets there just as Eugene is being lead away by guards. Varian finds Max and tells him how they need to free Eugene + basically... Helps him escape with fewer pub thugs and more alchemy. When they get to the tower Eugene tells Varian to stay on the floor and climbs up to help Raps - Varian stays at the bottom of the tower for approx 10 minutes before finding the back entrance and climbing up. Figure he gets there just as Gothel deages, it’s suddenly and before anyone knows it Varian is the one pushing her out the window bc he saw a stabbed Eugene and put two and two together. Then! Cue New Dream scene, except Varian is sitting on the floor in shock a distance away... After New Dream hug Eugene looks at him and Varian admits that “Ok, magic isn’t that bad”

5) Oh god the series! First off — Raps is closer with Varian in this (that’s becoming a theme...) so doesn’t just throw him out into the blizzard when he comes asking for help. Instead he and Eugene go back to Old Corona together after the storm, Varian isolates himself from guilt + has a tough time dealing with what happened, but he lives in the castle as Eugene starts getting angrier with the king and wants answers for what happened. He’s the one that finds Dark Kingdom stuff and he and Varian work on it together... Eugene has a suspicion he came from the Dark Kingdom so when the rocks start pointing there he’s like dope!

No villain Varian joins them on the trek to the Dark Kingdom + it’s all fun and games, Eugene tries to get more answers from Adira as they travel but she says it’s not her place to say... All he needs to know is the kingdom fell, and everyone was evacuated... She’s almost annoyed as she explains it, then Hector is treble annoyed when he finds out Eugene was raised by QUIRIN since that went against the direct orders... Though Adira defends it and says he was doing his duty of keeping Eugene safe, it’s basically a rift between them that’s confusing until they get to the DK and the revelation happens.

I feel... Moongene could be a thing in this AU? but since I’m running out of points I’ll leave it with Cass taking her canon role! I will point out! when Quirin is freed initially only Varian runs into his arms... Eugene hadn’t really spoken to Quirin properly since their movie fallout & he’s not sure he belongs... Until Quirin holds and arm out to him and pulls him into the hug too (PARALLLELS) and we get a happy reunited family (tho with some issues to work out regarding somethings... they need to rebuild trust, but work on it slowly. Edmund stays ‘Edmund’ to Eugene. He sees Quirin as his father & doesn’t push as much to reconnect with Edmund... Though that makes it easier in a way. There’s less pressure once Edmund understands and they form a friendship, but Quirin is Dad 100% (Sometimes Edmund gets called Dad 2))

#tts #tts au #ask #au ask meme #tangled the series #tangled #varian #Eugene #quirin #alternative universe

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wrenhyperfixates · 4 years

Text

Doubt Comes In

Requested by anon: Hey!! Can you maybe right a fic where the reader is having a panic attack and Loki finds them and helps them or maybe where they’re having a panic attack and they go as Loki for help. Whichever you’re drawn to I’d love either. Thanks sm, sorry to bother. You’re amazing btw Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: When depression and anxiety get the better of you, Loki is there to help you through it. Warnings: Talk of self-harm, depression, and panic attacks, as well as a brief mention of suicide. If any of these things upset you, please do not read. A/N: This is the first request I’ve ever gotten, so thank you to the lovely anon that sent this in. Sorry that I added some things to your request, but I’d already started writing this and felt that they worked well together. Hopefully I still did your request justice :)

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

There were days where you just had to shut yourself away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the world. The first time you did this, it alarmed the rest of the team who were used to you being one of the most social of the group. You seemed to have infinite patience for the people who stopped you on the street, both fans and media alike. During parties, you could be found with a large group of people, nodding along and adding your own thoughts where they seemed appropriate. Of course, if anyone bothered to look close enough, they would have seen that your smiles were just a little too bright, and your responses just a little too polite. No one ever did, though, so you suffered in silence.

On days like today when depressive thoughts claimed your mind, the whole act was too hard to put on. The team had come to know times like this as your sick day, though they were all suspicious of the flimsy excuses you made when you told them that’s all it was. Just a stomach bug, you’d say one time. Another, a minor headache supposedly plagued you. Nothing to worry over, you assured them. Out of respect to you and the space you obviously needed, they hardly ever questioned you any further.

You tried to calm the shakiness of your breaths as you made your way to the kitchen. Tony had taken the rest of the team out for mini-golfing, something you usually would have been ecstatic to take part in. Even if you had to force a smile for strangers, you were genuinely happy to do things with your friends. It was just the overwhelming feeling of worthlessness that kept you from joining them today. You did your best to ignore your feelings, which always left you on a hollow sort of auto-pilot. Staring blankly into the fridge you opened upon arriving in the kitchen, you tried to force yourself to find something you wanted to eat. You knew you needed some kind of sustenance, but somehow your brain always convinced itself you didn’t deserve to eat when in a mood like this. You grabbed a berry smoothie that you knew you probably wouldn’t finish and headed to a common room couch.

The view was much better here than from your room and you were glad that everyone else was out, allowing you to wallow anywhere in the Tower, not just your bedroom. You hated to be inside at all, let alone cooped up in your room, on a day as nice as this. Going out, though, meant you ran the risk of running into someone. So, you leaned back and felt the warm sun filtering in from the large windows wash over your skin, and opened the cap of your drink. You managed to take a few sips before setting it down on the table in front of you. That relentlessly chipper voice in your head told you that if you weren’t going to eat, you should at least finish the smoothie, but it was met with an even louder, more persistent voice telling you that you shouldn’t. You peered at the pinkish liquid and managed to take one more gulp before setting it back down. It was better than nothing, you figured.

Psychoanalyzing yourself never really ended well for you. You had a nice home, friends that were practically family, and pretty much anything you could ever want. So why the fuck were you so messed up? Deep down, you knew it was in a large part, if not wholly, due to your home life from before becoming an Avenger. Your parents would tell you to talk to them, to express your emotions, but the second you did, they told you it was wrong to feel that way. To just stop feeling like that without any clue as to how to do that. It left you drowning in emotions too difficult to repress, in a house filled with screaming matches between people who supposedly loved each other. Eventually those screams gave way to icy glares and clipped conversations. You quickly learned your place in a house like that: Listen to everyone else’s problems and deal with your own, on your own.

You were trembling now, just like days long past in your childhood home. You still remembered times you just collapsed into a ball on the floor behind closed doors, silent sobs racking your body. You weren’t so quiet now that you didn’t have to worry about anyone overhearing. Hands trembling, you reached into your back pocket as you remembered the other way you used to deal with your emotions. You held the Swiss Army knife in your hands and stared at your red eyes reflected in the unforgiving metal. You weighed the pros and cons of what you were about to do, but right now you were only interested in the relief it could offer you. You’d deal with the guilt after.

Before you could bring the blade down to meet your tender flesh, a hesitant voice called your name. Your head whipped around to meet eyes just as raw and red as your own. It made the green of his irises pop.

“Loki,” you gasped, hastily standing up. His eyes flitted down to the knife still in your hand, and you quickly hid it behind your back. “I can leave if you want.”

“No. You stay, I will go. Unless, that is, you wouldn’t mind if I...if I joined you?”

You still didn’t particularly feel like talking to anyone, but staying alone now meant that you would hurt yourself. The part of you that desperately did not want to go back down that road beckoned Loki to sit next to you on the plush cushions. He didn’t press for any more information, and you both sat in the silence, sniffling for the next half hour. After a few deep breaths, you gently placed one of your hands on his.

“Are you alright?” your raw voice said, cutting through the stillness of the room.

Loki laughed, though not unkindly. Something flashed across his features, but you hadn’t spent enough time with him to know the nuances of his expressions. True, you’d been getting closer with him these past few months, and he ranted to you about some of his troubles such as disagreements with his brother, but you’d never seen him in a state quite like this.

“And why, my sweet mortal,” he said, picking up your hand and holding it in both of his own, “should you have to worry about that when you are so obviously distressed yourself?”

There was nothing you could do to stop the tears that burst forth from you. Slowly, Loki wrapped you in a hug and stroked your hair.

“It’s alright,” he cooed. “I am right here. You can trust me.”

“I’m just-just so worthless!” you shouted between hysterical sobs. “I can’t even deal with my feelings properly. Everyone would be better off if I was dead.”

“Do not say such things!” Loki said with a sudden fury, grabbing your shoulders and pulling your body away from his so he could bring his face level with yours. Not that you could see him through your tears and hands, which were rubbing your eyes in a desperate attempt to stop the deluge. “If you were to leave, you would be missed by anyone who has ever known you. Your family. Your friends. Me.”

Apologies fell from your lips, almost in a chant. He shushed you, returning to gently hugging you after his own emotional outburst. You stayed like that for the better part of an hour until your sobs subsided and turned to shaky breaths.

“Darling, look at me,” Loki said when he felt you’d calmed down enough. “You matter. You need to hear that. You deserve to hear it. You matter.”

You barely manage to stop another round of tears from taking over your body. “Thank you,” you croaked out. “I don’t think anyone’s ever let me know that before.”

Actually, you knew they hadn’t. For most of your life, people never even bother to check if you were ok. You’d been told that crying was wrong, and you’d never been allowed to weep into someone’s arms as Loki had just allowed you to.

“It is no problem, my dear. In fact,” Loki started, but trailed off, tears forming in his own eyes.

“Talk to me,” you said with rapt attention, ready to be his shoulder to cry on.

“I understand what you are feeling all too well. That feeling of worthlessness... It is all-consuming. And it is ok that you feel this way, but you must know that you can work past it.

“I don’t know how,” you whispered.

“Remember all the good you put into the world. And do not say that you you haven’t contributed anything; I know you have. Think of times when you have helped me. When you have saved the city. Even when you have held the door open for someone. It all counts, and it all matters.”

You contemplated his words and slowly nodded. After a whispered ok passed your lips, Loki lifted you and placed you on his lap. He rested his head on your shoulder and, in turn, you placed your head on his own.

“And,” he added, his breath tickling your ear, “if you cannot think of anything, come find me. But do not ever even think of harming yourself again.”

You nodded and snuggled in even closer to him, enjoying the peace for as long as you could. Soon, the rest of the Avengers returned to the Tower. You made some small talk with them before excusing yourself to your room. Loki was waiting for you in the hallway with a tray of food that he sheepishly passed to you when you reached him.

“How did you know?” you questioned the god, wide-eyed. Never before had someone noticed your poor eating habits when depression set in.

“I am the same way myself,” he responded with a distant look of sadness and resignation on his features.

You thanked him and stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, neither of you really knowing what to say. Finally, he took your hand and placed a gentlemanly kiss to your knuckles, and with a promise to check on you tomorrow, Loki took off down the hall.

You managed to finish the sandwich he brought you before collapsing on your mattress and falling into a restless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been months since you’d first opened up to Loki. After a little while, he finally confided in you, too. Most days, things were better for the both of you now that there was someone to talk to about it all. Despite your best efforts, you fell for him. Hard. You just couldn’t help it, not when he felt so safe. Not when he felt like home. That’s why you hastily agreed to a date when he asked you out after teary, late-night confessions of love.

Tonight was the night of your first date and you knew he had something amazing planned. You should have been over the moon, but some nasty voice in your head was keeping you from that feeling of elation. It kept telling you that you were going to screw things up and drive Loki away. You didn’t doubt that he cared about you, but you certainly didn’t understand why he did either. He was a god, for crying out loud, and you were just, well, you. Trying to still your shaking hands as you put on your shoes, you reminded yourself of all the tender words Loki whispered to you. Unfortunately, your mind was quick to warp those thoughts, telling you that they were probably lies. That’s what he was the god of, after all.

Suddenly, you realized what was happening to you. You’d experienced it once before; you recognized it in the uncontrollable shaking of your hands and shortness of breath. You attempted to calm yourself down before it got too bad but to no avail. Before you knew it, you were hyperventilating, tears streaming down your face. You wanted to call out for help, but the words wouldn’t come. Then came the crashing sensation of impending doom. Your mind was a jumbled mess, repeating over and over again desperate pleas for it to stop.

A knock sounded at your door, but you barely heard it over your own thoughts. So deep into this pit of despair, you couldn’t pull yourself out to answer whoever was there. Through bleary eyes, you saw a flash of green in your room, and soon you were caught in a loving embrace.

“Look at me, darling,” Loki said. “I am here now. Just breathe. It will all be ok.”

He continued to whisper calming things in your ear as you gasped for air, the panic attack subsiding. Slowly, the rest of the world came back into focus and you grounded yourself, staring straight ahead and concentrating on Loki’s soothing hands rubbing circles on your back. As you calmed down, you noticed he was softly singing in a language you didn’t recognize. Still, though, he sounded beautiful.

“It’s something my mother used to sing to me when I was a child,” he explained after finishing the song, the comforting melody still ringing in your ears.

“Will you sing it again, please?”

He obliged and this time you hummed along, a small smile playing at your lips. You were still shaking when he scooped you up and placed you on the bed. He pulled your back against his chest as he continued the Asgardian song.

“Our date,” you gasped, suddenly remembering your plans for the night. “I’m so sorry.”

“Do not apologize, my sweet. After all, I see no reason why we cannot still have our date.”

With a snap of his fingers, you were both in your pajamas, and pizza boxes were resting on your nightstand. You smiled at Loki as he stared in confusion at the TV remote. You giggled and helped him flip through the channels, before settling on The Wizard of Oz. You were glad to know that no matter how many times your mind was filled with doubt, Loki would help you through it. The safety you provided for each other was so precious to you that you wanted to stay in this moment forever.

“Hey Loki?” you said as the movie was finishing. “What did that song from earlier mean?”

And so he began to sing it again, this time in English so you could understand the words.

Don’t worry, sweet darling, do not cry Let me wipe those tears from your eyes Don’t fear, sweet darling, do not fight Let me hold you; everything’ll be all right

You gazed at him with admiration in your eyes. He looked away as a slight blush colored his pale cheeks, but you cupped his face and brought your lips to meet his in a sweet kiss.

“Rest now, my love,” he said after you had to break away for air.

The complete fatigue you felt made you follow his gentle command as he sang you off to sleep.

321 notes · View notes

wonderlustlucas · 4 years

Text

four - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt They say good things come in fours. Who? Couldn’t tell you, but they especially do during Christmas. Maybe that’s just Saint Nick. ⇢ pairing hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 11.7k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. mentions of alcohol & s e x. teenagerz being teenagerz. insane amount of fluff & stupidity. kind of ends w a smutty cliffhanger. ⇢ summary After suppressing how you felt about Hyunjin back in high school, you thought you were done going back on your feelings. Turns out, a little time apart, the spirit of Christmas, and an accidental nap is the perfect cocktail for falling in love with your best friend.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n hello & merry christmas! here is a gift for you all on this very merry day. also, thank you for 1,000 followers! that in itself is one of the best presents i could ask for. thank you for all your kindness & support on my blog & for following me in the first place! it truly means so much to me. i hope you enjoy reading! ♥︎

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Sorry! I just woke up

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Whats wrong fool

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Did u rlly think 12 texts were gonna wake me up?🤦🏻‍♂️ godt damn u on some WACK shit

You roll your eyes in time with each consecutive text that Hyunjin sends, waiting for the lock screen of your phone to blacken after reading them. He’s about as useless as pedals on a wheelchair, you think, ignoring the texts and forcing the device into the snug back pocket of your jeans before transferring the last two excessively packed grocery bags into the trunk of your car with an exhausted huff. Christ, if the bagging lady put one more item in those bags, she would be the one to blame for six cans of soup rolling about the parking lot.

The license plate rattles when you slam the trunk lid closed before hurrying around to the driver’s side and anxiously hopping inside to start blasting the heat. It is obnoxiously chilly for the first of September. Well, not really. Your body is just beginning to get used to the ungodly wrath of summer’s sweltering heat leaving you in a constant state of sweat and nausea for the past three months. Not that you’re complaining, of course. You nearly did somersaults of joy when the morning news reported a temperature of sixty-one degrees with some wind gusts and welcomed the beginning signs of autumn with open arms.

You would never admit to Mom who told yo uon the way out to change out of a tank top or at least wear a jacket, but yes— you are, in fact, cold. But now you have godsent warmth blowing from the vents and the seat warmer on its highest setting beginning to thaw away the goosebumps painted on your skin. Giving your arms one last rub, you lean up enough to retrieve your phone and open the conversation with Hyunjin.

[2:37 PM] YN: please. smell my balls

[2:37 PM] YN: nothings wrong btw. i was GOING to ask if u wanted any specific snacks for tn buttttt someone didn’t answer

[2:37 PM] YN: and excuse u i called too. i may be an idiot but im not stupid

[2:38 PM] YN: ik u would never hear a text when ur having wet dreams of yeji

You stop there with a smug smirk when the three dots on his side appear, knowing you’ve hit his funny bone with this one.

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Bruh

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇 :I’ve literally never have had a wet dream ab Yeji pls stop

You cannot fight your shit-eating grin, thumbs circling over the keyboard in thought as he apparently deletes whatever other text he was going to send when the three dots disappear.

[2:38 PM] YN: mmhmmmm

[2:38 PM] YN: because last time you slept over you weren’t whimpering her name in ur sleep

[2:38 PM] YN: sureeeee

You decide to end your teasing there and continue once you’re home. It is starting to get late, after all, and Mom will begin to worry that the creepy employee always in aisle sixteen has abducted you. Plus, you’re cruel and like to watch Hyunjin suffer. Switching the ringer off, you throw your phone into the cupholder and drastically lower the heat and turn off the seat warmer. It’s starting to feel like a sauna in here, and not in a fun way. Can’t understand how anyone enjoys hanging out in a sauna to begin with anyway, but to each their own, you guess.

In the five-minute drive it takes until you are pulling into the driveway, Hyunjin calls three times. He is incredibly peeved at your lack of a response to his distressed texts and still wound up from your text about Yeji. As if! You’re already a clown not realizing his ever-growing affections for you, but to think he had a crush on Yeji? You’re the whole damn circus!

By the time he calls a fifth time, now sat up on his elbow in bed and strumming an annoyed beat of his fingers at his thigh because he really just wants to yell at you for being the most annoying person alive (and maybe to hear your voice, too), you have brought in the last of the bags and look to Mom who has started to put the groceries away and expects you to half-heartedly do the same.

“It’s Hyunjin. He’s having an existential crisis because I haven’t answered his texts,” you explain to her, unenthusiastically holding your phone as it vibrates against your palm. Half of you wants her to ask to finish putting everything away first just so you can torture him even longer. Alas, such extravagant wishes are denied, because when it comes to Hyunjin, your parents would undoubtedly throw you under the bus just to keep that boy happy. And so, just like any other time, Mom’s undying love for Hyunjin has her dismissing you from the kitchen with a hearty laugh.

“Jesus Christ! What?” You hiss, halfway up the stairs when you tap to answer his call on the last ring.

“Wow! Look who finally decided to answer!” Hyunjin shouts back, the swoosh of his sheets once he finally falls back against his pillow again rustling all too loudly through the phone. “I was driving,” you spit, marching into your bedroom and collapsing against your bed, the same rustle of your blankets sounding loudly into his ear. “There’s a thing called the speaker, ___. Ever heard of it?” He retorts, evidently shutting you up and he knows he won this round if your silence is anything to go by.

“Whatever,” you groan, using all your toe strength to kick the sneakers off your feet by their soles, “what was so important that you couldn’t wait and had to call me five billion times?”

“I had a question. And you hurt my feelings.” Well, shit. You can practically hear and see his pout through the phone and your heart positively swells in your chest at how undeniably, unjustifiably cute he is. You sigh.

“I’m sorry for making fun of you about Yeji. I’m going to do it again but next time I promise I won’t pull the wet dream card,” you apologize frankly; because, in all honesty, it would be worse to say you are not going to do it again when you most certainly will. Bullying Hyunjin is fun, what can you say?

Hyunjin heaves an exasperated breath from his lungs because he knows there is no point in arguing with quite possibly the most sarcastic human he knows and that’s the best form of an apology he’s going to get. Whatever. He’ll make sure to wipe his morning snot and droll on your shirt in the morning. “Anyway,” he grumbles, in the background you hear Kkami bark from a few rooms over, “I was going to ask if you wanted to come over my place instead? I know your parents probably want to see me and stuff but mine are out of town for the night so we can sleep in my bed until like three without Mom waking us up to force feed breakfast.” You roll your eyes. Of course your parents want to see him.

“Plus, Mom just put that grey comforter I know you really like on my bed so we can cuddle all night and watch stuff on YouTube,” he quickly adds as a convincing afterthought. He’s really got his sales pitch going on this one. Truth is, you have only slept in his bed with that stupidly soft blanket twice last winter break, but it’s still sweet that he remembers how much you loved it (aka how quickly you fell asleep and how grumpy you were being woken up because it’s just that darn cozy). Either way, you would never pass up an opportunity to snuggle up with Hyunjin in the comfort of his own bed with his citrusy, floral scent on the pillows luring you to sleep.

“My Mom is going to be heartbroken, Hyunjin,” you tease, “but who cares. You had me sold at sleeping until three. Do you still want me to bring the snacks I got?”

“Oh, thank God. I love your Mom’s cooking but I haven’t left bed all day and I really want to keep it that way. And yes, please. I’ve been eating dry cereal for the past two hours.”

“Hyunjin, have you brushed your teeth yet?”

“No. Didn’t you just hear me? I said I’ve been in bed all day. Eating cereal. When would I have brushed my teeth?”

“You’ve officially taken breakfast in bed to a whole new level, Jin. I’ll see you in a few hours. Oh, and please, you have no concept of personal space so make sure you brush your teeth before I come over.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Love ya, bye,” Hyunjin promptly hangs up, probably eager to get back to binging whatever drama he’s watching before you lecture him about his hygiene again. Not that it matters, anyway; chances are, it went in one ear and right out the other and you’re going to drag him out of bed later to brush his teeth.

Damn. You didn’t even get the chance to say love you back. Not that it matters.

It doesn’t, you quickly shut down the pesky thought that keeps you up at night and force it back into the storage part of your brain labeled ‘Deal with Later,’ because, really, you’ll have to think about that later. It’s not that you don’t want to think about it yet… you just don’t have the time to stop and really figure out what your feelings toward Hyunjin actually are. Yeah. That’s it.

And now isn’t the time, you tell yourself, scooting up the mattress in order to bury your face in the pillows to suffocate the pounding throb in your head. Hyunjin is nothing special.

Well, no. That’s a lie. Everything about Hyunjin is special. Anyone with eyes, ears, even a nose can sense that. You had quickly found out just how wonderful he is when you met him freshman year of high school. At the time, he was everyone’s sweetheart by the first day, but it just so happened his eyes were all on you.

He was obviously adorable, and every class you had together he always made a point to talk to you and returned your sarcasm with an impressive level of expertise. So, when it came to him asking you to the first homecoming, the answer was yes without a second thought. But during the last slow dance of the night, with his hands gently holding your waist, he at last listened to his conscience and revealed that as much as he liked you, he truly did not want to date in high school. Or right then, at least. And honestly, you were glad; Hyunjin was quite possibly your favorite person you had met thus far, and you would have rather kept him as a friend than commit to a relationship the second month of school and risk losing him later down the road.

And boy, keep him as a friend you did. As it turned out, Hyunjin grew to be your truest, best friend in high school. Sure, you each had your own friend groups, but the two of you were the iconic pair everybody knew. But strictly platonic, despite the rumors and wishes that went around for the next four years. You like to think that neither of you ever developed feelings past what everyone feels toward their best friend— an innocent, wholesome sort of love.

But when had things changed? Hormones, as always, were definitely a big part of it. Hyunjin was always a cutie, but it wasn’t until he grew into his own skin and developed a newfound confidence did you start to see him differently. Until everyone saw him differently. Neither of you missed the way people stared him down, pupils dilating every time he ran his fingers through the black tufts of his hair, hearts aching for some sort of interaction. Or when you started attending parties, groups of girls would fling themselves at him in a blundering disarray, most of which he would turn down with a gentle dismissal that flew over their heads, too drunk to actually care.

But then there were times his dick made the decision for him, desperation and deprivation weighing in on him and you’d watch with a tight jaw as he’d leave the room with the pretty girl of the night skipping after him. You never realized it was only on those nights did you wind up in the back seat of Han Jisung’s car.

But even after the physical attraction sizzled out over time, things were not the same. Hyunjin wasn’t your hidden little treasure anymore. All eyes were set on him and it took more than a glass of water to swallow your jealousy. But why? Why were you so resentful all of a sudden?

It’s hard to share Hwang Hyunjin, you decided. Once established that you were his main hoe and he was yours, it became a significant burden watching others try and get in between. Not that they did it with a malicious attempt to separate you, but it still hurt. You’re selfish, and you admit it— Hyunjin, quite frankly, is the love of your life. Romantic or not, nothing could change your feelings toward him. It goes beyond his unfathomable beauty and spunky personality. Everything about him from his nose to his hands, to his distaste for onions and the way his face scrunches up when he lets out that giggle of his and even to the way he prefers to sleep against the wall but will force you to when you’re over so he can “protect you in case there’s a monster” all mount into this big, giant section of your heart set aside for Hyunjin.

So despite your efforts to ignore the pang of jealousy each time he would find a potential someone or the joy whenever he’d find his way back because “they kept wanting to hang out in the morning even though I said I don’t wake up before noon,” this Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart seems to only grow the longer you ignore it. Kind of like every medical condition out there: the longer you ignore it, the worse it gets. So, basically Hyunjin is your heart disease.

Yikes. Sounds a lot worse when you try putting it into words.

Well, he won’t be your heart defect for long if he keeps ruining those pearly whites of his by only brushing once just before bed, you chuckle to yourself, rolling to your side at the sudden lack of oxygen between your face and the pillow. There’s a fleeting moment without thought when you unconsciously reach for your phone to check for any notifications before the fattest revelation of them all falls from the ceiling and smacks you right upside the face.

Shit. Looks like you’ve gone right ahead and totally dissected each and every fiber of your feelings for Hyunjin.

Blinking up at the ceiling, the weight of your emotions isn’t as heavy as you expected them to be. Instead, it’s more of a breath of fresh air, as if you have finally accepted the way things fell instead of ignoring them. Your feelings for Hyunjin have always been there. It just took a little effort to get them out.

Nevertheless, it is going to be difficult hanging out with him in a few hours with your exposed emotions still needing to be processed. Especially when he will pull you to his side and keep you nestled there the entire night. Rubbing your temples, you realize it will take some serious self-control to put everything on the back burner and just enjoy the time spent with Hyunjin.

Sighing, you check the time on your phone again. 3:21 and a text from Hyunjin asking if you could bring green tea.

“Mom!” You yell, defeated. “You were right!”

You used to think Hyunjin lived far away. Truthfully, he’s only fifteen minutes away if you go ten over the speed limit. But the only way to get to his house entails driving through the chaos of the mall and town center, which adds an extra ten minutes sitting through traffic no matter the time of day.

Now, Hyunjin’s college campus is two hours away. Well, technically five from you, since you’re almost three hours away in the opposite direction. So you’re lucky if you get to see him once a month with how hectic school becomes and how difficult it is trying to plan to come home the same weekend. Fortunately, it has worked out this semester. And while you should spend this time with your families, they know how much you crave one another’s company as the weeks drag on. The twenty-two minutes it takes getting to each other’s homes is totally worth it.

You expect Hyunjin to tell you to use the key hidden underneath the resin meditating frog statue in the front garden to unlock the front door when you text him you have arrived, but to your utmost surprise, he’s there, awake, to open the door for you.

“Stinky!” You yell, dropping your things on the floor to burry yourself in his embrace, standing on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck in order to really get the full experience of hugging your favorite giant. “Poopy!” He shouts in return, long arms winding tightly around your waist and even going so far as to lift you up a few inches. God. Hate when he does that.

“Why are you up? I thought I’d have to let myself in with you sleeping all your problems away,” you ask, smiling gratefully when he bends down to pick up your bag. “I realized Kkami hadn’t been out all day, so I came down to let him out and find actual food,” Hyunjin explains as he makes way into the kitchen, opening the back door to let said dog back inside. “Aw, poor thing,” you pout, squatting to scratch at Kkami’s neck when he zooms faster than the speed of light to you, “does that mean you brushed your teeth?”

“I did, actually,” Hyunjin snorts right back, scrunching his nose at you before turning away to open the fridge. Sitting on the floor with Kkami in your lap, you take the opportunity to finally get a good look at Hyunjin now that he’s distracted. And of course, he looks good. Really good. Last time you saw him he still was a brunette, a look he rocked during the spring and summer months. This is the first time you’ve seen the freshly dyed black hair in person. Even though he always looks handsome, something about Hyunjin with black hair completely changes his aura. Brings back memories of how badly you wanted him in high school. You shiver at the thought.

And, to top it all off, how he manages to stay in such disgustingly good shape despite his atrocious eating habits never ceases to amaze you. Like, come on. The boy eats worse than a raccoon seven days out of the week, lives off boba, works out maybe five times a month, dances in his free time and still keeps his body in tiptop shape. God, you hate him. His pediatrician probably hates him, too. You even go as far as to sniff the fries in your dining hall and you gain five pounds.

Even now, he looks unnecessarily regal in the baggy material of his sweatpants and flannel. And the warmth of his kitchen’s ambient lighting does nothing to suppress the heavy thumping of your heart. So casual is his dress, yet how immaculate he looks rummaging the cabinets for a snack.

“Are you hungry?” He asks, the familiar softness of his voice shaking you from your daze as he closes the refrigerator door after his unsuccessful search. Here’s the thing: you really aren’t hungry, but Hyunjin clearly is, so if you say no then all he will be thinking about is food until you decide that you are hungry. “Yeah,” is what you say, nudging Kkami off your crossed legs to stand, “I brought green tea and a few snacks, but we could order Chinese food or something. The place near Dunkin’ and the gas station makes bubble tea now, too.”

Hyunjin’s brows shoot up, flashing his boxy smile. “Is it good?”

“I mean, I’ve only had their pork dumplings and mango tea before, and it was pretty good. I don’t know about their noodles or anything, though,” you shrug, moving to stand beside him at the kitchen island. Distracted by Kkami trying to jump onto the sofa in the living room, you don’t look to Hyunjin until the poor dog is successful in doing so. Startled to find him already gazing down at you, your heart truly is not prepared for him to go right ahead and wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. Totally not freaking out or trying to overthink his need to constantly cling, you justify his actions by quickly recalling the time he said, “My head is too godtdamn big for my godtdamn body.” More like his head is too heavy because instead of a brain it’s just a chunk of cement up there. He just needs to rest his head sometimes.

Yeah.

“Mm, I don’t know,” Hyunjin hums, swaying your body with his to an unheard tune. By now, any coherent thought has dissipated into thin air and all you can do is melt against him. “Why?” You manage.

“’Cus if we order anything that means I’ll have to get up and get it.”

“Oh my God, Hyunjin, really?” You laugh. Your hands naturally glide to where his are linked at your stomach, pressing to interlock your fingers overtop his. “If that’s the only reason for your uncertainty than I could always come get it, idiot.”

“No! It’s okay,” Hyunjin says, jumping back before you can even process it, “I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“Ohhh ‘kay,” you laugh breathlessly, whiplashed by the whole thing. Good thing you aren’t hungry, because when was the last time Hyunjin turned down food? Blinking at him precariously, he doesn’t seem to notice until one too many seconds of silence pass by.

“C’mon,” he demands excitedly, jumping back into reality, “my roommate told me to watch this anime called Soul Eater but I wanted to watch it with you.” Once again, before anything can even register past every single That Was Cute™ alarm ringing in your brain, Hyunjin is grabbing your bag and reaching for your hand, leading you out of the kitchen and upstairs.

You and Hyunjin binge aforementioned anime until he falls asleep first around 2 AM, only stopping to order food an hour in (he’s an indecisive man indeed), to get up to retrieve it, and to actually eat while catching up. For most of the night, you are able to forget the way his heartbeat against your back mirrored your own in the kitchen. But then, a little while after you fall asleep yourself, Hyunjin unconsciously shifts closer and you spend another hour blinking at his relaxed hand twitching against your abdomen, trying to keep the hurricane inside your heart at bay.

You can’t make it home October. Hyunjin texted you to let you know he was going to be the third weekend in, and you tried desperately to manage your time in order to make it work. But one group project in chem lead to another paper in psych and before you knew it, your roommate was listening to you sob over a boy and curse out your classes.

September left you emotionally wrecked, to be totally honest. You hate Hyunjin and you hate the way he makes you feel and you especially hate how realizing you have a crush on him makes you unsure if everything he does is his way of hinting he feels the same or if he’s always been this touchy and you are just now recognizing it. So, missing a month of seeing your favorite human being essentially means missing another day of trying to decipher which actions of his go in the Friend list, and which go in the Questionable list. And that, my friend, is unacceptable.

You absolutely cannot not go home this month. November is the calm before the storm (the storm being exams looming the second week of December), and while it would be beneficial maybe staying on campus to continue preparing, you tell yourself going home will be just as helpful. Mental breaks, and stuff. Totally not just to see Hyunjin.

Either way, Hyunjin asks you if you would join him on the seventeenth to go to his second cousin’s christening and you absolutely cannot say no when you know how bored Hyunjin gets at family events when they aren’t for him. And so, fast forward to the third Sunday of November and you are ready to pass out ten minutes after entering the church.

“I’m so happy for you two! I always knew you would last into college,” one of Hyunjin’s aunts exclaims, pinching your cheeks but the only pinch you feel is that of your heart.

Clearly she is misinformed, or just prone to jumping to conclusions but yet again, you can’t really blame her with how couple-y you and Hyunjin are. Past the single tunnel vision of your gaze, you watch her smile falter when Hyunjin goes rigid beside you and oh my God this is the most embarrassing moment of my life, his whole family thinks we’re dating and here we are still stuck in each other’s friendz—

“I’m glad you think so, imo,” Hyunjin suddenly picks up, sneaking an arm around to rest his hand on your hip, tugging you close, “I don’t know what I’ll do if she ever decides to leave me.”

It’s nice to think that he means it, to imagine that you are here not as a tag-along but to join him in a family ceremony because you are part of the family. The thought turns your blood to sugar and everything surrounding you falls apart; you listen to the rest of their conversation without processing it, the precise detailing in the marble pillars blurs into a mass of white, and you still feel his strong hold on the curve of your waist yet you are lost in the swam of possibilities.

How lovely it would be to live up to her assumption. To ‘last into college’ as a couple, not as best friends. To be able to call him yours even when you’re not together, to come home and kiss his lips, to sleep in his bed and it mean more than the laziness of blowing up the air mattress. At some point, he leads you into the third pew to sit beside his parents, and when you greet them with a hug all you can think about is them viewing you as more than their son’s friend.

God, you hate it.

You’re not as religious as Hyunjin and his family. But for the first time in years, you find yourself looking to the crucifix during the service and praying to whoever is up there to give you some strength and patience, because Lord do you need it.

Hyunjin is a funny guy.

Or so he thinks.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. It’s just— compared to your friends Minho or Changbin, he isn’t at the top of the list. When you think of Hyunjin, the first words that pop up are soft, loud, and dramatic.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. He’s just weird.

Insanely, ridiculously weird. For example, the time he called Jeongin a vitamin. Or the time he slapped half a bottle of sunscreen on his face. Or his random bouts of dancing at inappropriate moments. Just to name a few.

After the Baptism, Hyunjin acted like nothing happened. Didn’t even bring it up. Not even a joke. After the ceremony, you joined his family for a luncheon, which just involved the two of you being weird and making peculiar dancing videos on SnapChat with the swirly filter and complaining about school for a few hours until he drove you home. Obviously you stopped for food again on the way.

But that was it. Things went on as normal, and you returned to campus later that night and forced the whole experience to the back of your brain. It was officially grind season, and grind season meant studying for exams. No parties. No boys. And certainly no Hyunjin.

You both were home for winter break in the blink of an eye. And in normal Hyunjin style, he sort of vanished for the first week. Probably catching up on his strict sleeping schedule, you presumed, and accepted the fact that it was going to be a few days before you saw or even heard from him. The only anticipation you felt was wanting to give him his Christmas gift.

After what seems like an eternity away from Hyunjin, you get out of the shower on this fine Saturday before Christmas to find a slew of texts from him.

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Aloha mamacita

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: How do u feel about getting froyo tn

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can get fat and then u can sleepover aaaand

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can stare at the wall for a few hours

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: And

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: *cough*

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Exchange Jesus gifts

See? Weird. Who wants froyo when it’s thirty degrees out?

[5:53 PM] YN: “aloha mamacita”

[5:53 PM] YN: uHmmmMMM

[5:53 PM] YN: im down mr president

[5:54 PM] YN: why do u want ice cream in winter tho. don’t u want like

[5:54 PM] YN: hot chocolate or seomthing

Obviously not. Two hours later, Hyunjin arrives to pick you up for froyo despite all your efforts in convincing him maybe you could take the train to the city and watch a light show, or simply drive around and swoon over the rich people houses and their Christmas decorations. He didn’t budge. This leads you to your second question of the day: why is it that when you threw on sweats for the occasion you called yourself a hag, but upon entering Hyunjin’s car you make a mental note of how hot he looks when he’s wearing the same exact thing? You groan at the thought. It’s because it’s Hyunjin, of course.

“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” he greets, flicking your forehead once you settle into the seat of his Subaru WRX because he’s a hotshot and likes to flex that he can drive a manual. Not really— the car is absolute garbage by now, having been his Dad’s old car (his Dad likes to flex too, apparently). However, Hyunjin takes care of it enough for it to seem five years old instead of ten, and, either way, watching him work the stick shift is unexplainably hot.

You swat his hand away. “Drive, bitch,” you huff, twisting to buckle yourself in. Once he’s reversed out of your driveway, you glance back to find him fighting against a devilish smirk.

“So,” you start once he has navigated out of your neighborhood. His brow twitches up. “Are you taking Hawaiian and French at school? You’ve been throwing quite a lot of languages at me recently.” Hyunjin shoots you an unamused look. You return it with a wrinkle of your nose.

“Anyway,” he ignores your teasing, pausing to switch gears for whatever reason so he can make it through a yellow light, “how did your exams go?”

“Well, you know…” You trail off, looking to your window. It feels a lot later than eight o’clock. With it getting dark so early in the evening nowadays, it feels as if nighttime is always following you.

“You know… what?” Hyunjin interrupts your daze, concern laced in his voice. “They were fine. I passed everything, I’m just worried about my major,” you explain sadly, barely glancing at him before you are turning back to the window to stare at the moon. Must be nice being a moon. Just get to hang out in the sky watching everyone and being watched.

“I mean, if you want to switch, now’s the time. Better do it now before the second semester,” Hyunjin advises, wise as always. Not really, but he’s right. “What are you thinking of going into?”

Yikes. He’s going to kill you.

“Nursing,” you blurt.

“Oh my Lanta, ___, are you serious?” He groans, stopping at a convenient red light presenting the perfect opportunity for him to smack his forehead on the wheel. Dramatic. “How are you gonna manage that? You’ll practically be two years behind everyone else!”

“I know,” you sigh, throwing your head back on the headrest, “that’s the problem. Bio just isn’t doing it for me. I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life in a lab watching mitosis. I need something more rewarding, so theoretically nursing is a perfect start. I don’t know, though.”

“Why don’t you switch to interior design or something? We could get our own HGTV show, ___,” he says, but you don’t meet his gaze when he glances over because beneath his words, you can sense some serious hopefulness. Interior design would be cool, but you’ve never considered that as a career choice. You once helped your parents pick out everything when they redid a bathroom at home and that turned out great, but as a major?

“I don’t know, man. I’ll have to talk to my counselor about it, I guess,” you shrug, pulling the hood of your sweatshirt over your head and tightening the drawstrings until the material covers your eyes, “why can’t you audition to be a K-pop star or something? I could be your manager. Heck, even your makeup artist. I’ve done your makeup before, remember?”

Hyunjin laughs, loud, and the sound sinks deep into your heart and makes you feel warm all over. Stress? Gone.

For the next few minutes or so, the ride is comfortably quiet. At some point, he turns on the radio and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” floods your brain and reminds you to look forward to exchanging Christmas gifts later. God, you hope he likes it. You really went out on the sentimental gifts this year.

Hood shielding your vision, you jump when his large hand suddenly comes to grab the top of your head, squeezing hard and you imagine he’s trying to press some hopefulness into your brain. “Hand on the penis stick, Hwang,” you bark, blindly reaching for his own head across the way and pulling his ear when you do so. Good Lord, you hope no one can see into the car because… what.

Hyunjin lets out a giggle this time, reaching to pull you into a headlock and even though he’s got your head shoved up against his sturdy chest and goes on to give you a noogie, you’re stuck being all high and loopy on the sound of his happiness. And hey, it’s nice to know you’re the cause of it.

“We’re literally parked, idiot. If you had your hood down you would’ve realized,” Hyunjin snickers, releasing you after watching you struggle for a few seconds. Jerking away from him, you swiftly pull back your hood. “Oh,” you laugh, reading the flashy Yogo Factory sign above the building in front of you, “you could’ve just told me instead of watching me bask in misery.”

Hyunjin suitably ignores your moaning and groaning by getting out of the car and standing in front of the car, illuminated by the headlights. Why? Why must he look so scrumptious in his black hoodie and grey sweatpants and four-year-old white Nike sneakers? He has no gosh darn right!

After fixing the mess he made of your hair, you at last join him outside the car, shooting him another glare and moving ahead of him to open the shop’s door without waiting for him. “From now on, we have to start texting each other what we’re wearing before we go out, ‘cus this looks a little ri-donk-ulous,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear as you make your way to the cup selection, trying to ignore all the stares you— no, he is getting along the way.

“What do you mean?” You ask, plucking two medium sized cups up before turning to look at him. Then you look down at yourself. Oh. Looks like you’re both wearing the hoodie from junior spirit week. “Nice.” Just Couple Things™!

Back to Hyunjin being weird— why did he drag you all the way out here just to get a cup of chocolate frozen yogurt and maybe half a scoop of peanut butter chips?

Meanwhile, he watches in absolute disgust as you blow through your own dessert. Vanilla yogurt with probably every topping offered because you physically cannot make a decision, especially when they have chunks of cookie dough up there.

“So,” Hyunjin starts, trying not to look you in the eye considering you look like a goblin shoveling globs of diabetes down your throat, “have you talked to Jisung recently?”

You choke on a Fruity Pebble at his inquiry, prompting him to reach across the table and slap your back a few times until your esophagus is cleared. “Ugh,” clearing your throat one last time, you take a few sips of water while shooting him a glare. Jisung? Really? “How dense are you?” You hiss unintentionally.

Hyunjin raises his hands in defense. “Just a question.”

Yeah, just a question. Dumbass. “I mean,” you laugh awkwardly, “not really. We have a streak on Snap and sometimes we’ll talk occasionally but I don’t text him every day or anything. How about you?”

He shrugs, concentrating instead on stirring his yogurt into a goopy mess. “Eh. We still use our group chat a lot but that’s it. He’s too busy making music in Malaysia.”

You chuckle at this, picking out the boba from your own cup and leaving the rest now that it has started to look like something sold at the Chum Bucket. “That sucks,” you offer, not the best at giving him consolidation, you opt for linking your feet around his own in some weird act of intimacy, “isn’t he coming home for the holidays, though? I’m sure you can all have a reunion soon.”

“Yeah, he is,” Hyunjin hums, suddenly too focused on trying to escape your trap under the table. Annoyed Hyunjin is cute. “Stoooop,” he whines, kicking at your shins before breaking into boisterous laughter at your relentlessness, “I will not hesitate to throw this cup at your face.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoff, “I’d like to see you try.”

At this, Hyunjin drops his stupidly long arms beneath the table and easily captures your foot by the ankle, pulling hard enough for you to slip down your side of the booth. “Hyunjin!” You shriek, panicking slightly at your sweaty hand’s insecure grip against the leather. You’re going to fall. You’re going to fall flat on your ass underneath a table at a frozen yogurt place because the boy you like pulled your foot too hard. Fantastic. Ignoring you, he starts to wiggle your shoe off your foot no matter how hard you try to squirm out of his relentless grip. “Stop trying to eat my toes in the middle of Yogo!”

Finally, he releases your foot, letting it fall limp against his thigh.

“God,” you huff, breathless as you squirm back up your seat, cheeks burning ferociously, “you are such an ass.”

Behind the playful smirk he fails to hide, something darker glints in Hyunjin’s eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat. Then, “We should go.” The suggestion makes the heat of your blush scorch even hotter down your neck and you instinctively turn away, only to find the customers on the other side of the shop watching you with just as perturbed looks. Fantastic, part two.

“Okie,” you squeak out, blinking after him in complete and total bewilderment as to what just happened when he gets up to throw his trash away. Whatever. Following after him, you too toss your cup out before quickly finding your hand engulfed by his larger one as he leads you back outside, the sudden sharpness of the cold air bringing tears to your eyes. You desperately want to ask him what that was about, or why he’s acting so sneaky, but you stay silent, too afraid your voice will come out shaky and vulnerable. Instead, you let him tug you into his side and try to keep up with him no matter how badly your knees threaten to buckle with each glance you sneak up at him.

It’s silent when you enter the car, watching warily as he reverses out of the parking spot and maneuvers through the lot. Your heart rate seemingly cannot slow itself down, adrenaline taking the place of oxygen the longer you stare at him, at the concentrated scrunch to his face, at the cute tip of his button nose and at the swell of his lips and you distantly wonder what would happen if you pulled him into a kiss at the next red light.

In the midst of your daydream Hyunjin clears his throat, bringing you back to reality and you realize with a startle that he has caught you. Jesus Christ! What has gotten into you? You mentally smack yourself upside the head, instantly turning away from his cocky little gaze and staring straight ahead in search of something else to focus on. “___,” he sing-songs, slow and sensual and entirely demolishing the walls you have built around yourself. It is at this red light you wish to simply open the door and run.

“Yes?” You manage, wincing at how small your voice sounds and while looking out his window instead of into his eyes, you notice him grip the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. The tension is insurmountable, weighing in heavily on your chest and you desperately wish to arrive home, even though that means having to survive the next twelve hours with him. Anything is better than the small confines of his car.

“What do you want to do when we get home?” He asks, cool as a cucumber. You pale. It is a dangerous question and you do not know if he realizes that. “Um,” you cough, scooting to sit up straight, “whatever you want.” You whisper the last part, genuinely petrified because you have absolutely no idea if your brain is twisting everything to make it seem like Hyunjin is flirting or if things are totally normal. No idea.

“Hm,” he offers, tilting his head in thought, “we shall see.”

Yeah. We shall.

The rest of the ride is quiet, comfortably or uncomfortably you cannot say because you are too busy trying to calm the Spongebob burning office scene occurring inside your own head, hopelessly telling yourself that everything is fine, Hyunjin’s fine, you’re fine. Just pretend like nothing happened, you tell yourself when Hyunjin pulls into his driveway with practiced ease. “Ugh,” he groans after retrieving your bag from the back seat, and you watch with a raised brow as he skips up to his porch, yelling, “I have to pee!”

“Begone with you, piss boy,” you tease, holding the screen door open for him as he struggles to unlock the storm door and pulling on one of his hoodie’s drawstrings just to annoy him. “Stop,” he growls, low and playful but nevertheless sending a swarm of butterflies to your tummy. You ignore him. Finally unlocking the door, Hyunjin shoves the keys into his pocket and seizes your wrist, yanking your arm down with enough force to nearly topple you into him. “Why are you being so annoying tonight?” He frowns at you, nose and brows scrunched in irritation and it is only because of his proximity do you finally soften up.

“Sorry,” you pout back, bringing your other hand up to boop his nose, “I just missed ya.”

“Ew,” he snorts, stepping past the threshold and kicking off his shoes. You follow suit, closing the door behind you and clicking the lock into place as Kkami comes sprinting over. “B-R-B,” Hyunjin announces, presumably bouncing away to the bathroom.

“Oh, boy,” you huff, squatting to pick up the fluffy little dog and hugging him close to your chest, “your dad is making my life very difficult.” Pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, you put Kkami back down and grab your bag before heading upstairs, knowing Hyunjin is going to take his grand old time and probably take a shit while he’s at it. Plus, you’re impatient and dying to take your bra off.

Aside from what light his Gudetama nightlight offers, Hyunjin’s room is ultimately left dark. Here’s the thing: he used to have a lamp on his dresser, but then he took it with him to college and only brings it home for summer because he’s lazy and sleeps the majority of the time he’s home, anyway. Instead, he put up his little remote-controlled Christmas tree in addition to the lava lamp he has beside his bed. Perfect. For Hyunjin, at least.

Switching both of these on, their subtle glow offers just enough to keep you from banging your toe against something. It’s happened one too many times. Hyunjin’s room isn’t messy— he really isn’t a messy person to begin with, but he will reorganize the furniture in his room fifty times a year and you never know where the crooked leg to his bedside table will be to ambush your pinky toe.

Setting your bag onto his bed, you excitedly fumble past all your layers and unclasp your bra, maneuvering out of it with a delighted exhale just as Hyunjin begins his ascent up the stairs, steps creaking loudly under his heavy trudging. “I’m an idiot,” he grumbles, leaning against the doorframe to catch his breath.

You don’t bother to look at him, opting to quickly retort instead, “We been knew.”

“Ugh,” Hyunjin groans, exasperated, and you finally turn to him after successfully jamming aforementioned undergarment into your bag, “anyways. I don’t know why I didn’t just come up here, because I have to wash my face anyway and you do too and now we’re both going to have to share a sink.”

“Aw,” you coo, tone dripping with sarcasm as you pat his arm, “poor baby has to share the bathroom.”

“I’m actually going to strangle you,” he sighs, nevertheless following after you into the bathroom.

“Kinky.”

Hyunjin glares, unamused as he opens a drawer for his pink bow hairband and your striped pink and blue one that he bought for you, but keeps here for sleepovers. Yeah. He throws it to your face. “Sorry,” you offer, pulling the soft headband up to hold your hair back, “I’ll try to stop. I’m just so used to annoying you.”

“Clearly,” he scoffs, flashing his stupidly cute teasing smile and in your head, you imagine raising a white flag in surrender— he’s got you, he’s won, it’s over. Time to call it quits and head home. Evidently shut up (for now), you offer him a roll of your eyes before turning on the sink to wet your hands before pumping out some of his scrumptious watermelon face wash. Maybe if you scrub hard enough, you’ll manage to rinse away all the overwhelming thoughts of the night, too.

Barefaced Hyunjin is immaculate. Well, Hyunjin is immaculate twenty-four hours out of the day, but barefaced, freshly washed, hair messy, ready for bed Hyunjin is immaculate, and you are one of the few people lucky enough to see this eighth wonder of the world as often as you do.

Now, maybe it has something to do with the unexpected ambiance the light from his laptop, Christmas lights, and lava lamp have created together that makes him look so unfairly beautiful at this given moment. Or, you’re just insanely pussywhipped and looking for an excuse. You try not to think about it.

“Why are you so squirmy tonight?” He asks, frustrated enough to interrupt Kermit singing ‘Shawty I don’t mind’ playing from his laptop. “I’m not,” you defend, a weak argument indeed, given that you have just finished adjusting your position beside him for the umpteenth time.

“I mean, four female Ghostbusters? The feminists are taking over! I’m an ad—”

“___, you’ve touched my dick like four times. Don’t try and tell me you’re not squirmy. What’s wrong?” Hyunjin interrupts a second Vine, and even goes on to talk over ‘I have the power of God and anime on my side!’ like a lunatic. Oh Christ, you have? Surely you would have noticed. “Sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed as you bury your face into the curve of his pectoral and instinctively move your leg settled between his away, “I’m just hot, to be honest.” Technically, it is not a lie. Hyunjin’s family definitely keeps their thermostat at a higher temperature than yours and you always manage to sweat your ass off every time you come over. This time, however, you are certain it has more to do with the assault your heart is facing rather than your sweat glands.

At the sound of his tap against the spacebar to pause the video, you wordlessly and reluctantly sit up from your comfortable spot beside him in order to rid yourself of your heavy sweatshirt. Now, here lies the problem. Sweatshirt: off. Nipples: out. Realistically, Hyunjin has seen your boobs a number of times over the past few years, and even if he hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. But right now, your heart is on the line, you’re embarrassed and you’re trying to play it extremely safe.

You toss the hoodie to the floor and nestle right back where you were anyway, slinging your right arm over his torso and ignoring his sharp intake of breath when you snuggle closer. “Better?” He asks, voice strained and it literally makes you nauseous. “Yep.”

He resumes the video. You had started early in the night watching Pom Poko, which unsurprisingly ended with the two of you crying at the bittersweet ending, then moved to TikTok compilations on YouTube to cheer up before moving on from them and onto the classic Vine compilations. You paid good attention for the most part, chuckling along with him to ‘What up, I’m Jared, I’m nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read,’ ‘Bruh chill, I don’t know why you in a big time rush,’ and all the other absolute comedic masterpieces. But after the fourth or fifth video of the same six second clips with an occasional rare one, you began to grow bored and decided to do what you do best: admire Hyunjin.

Sure, ‘Come get yo juice!’ followed by the loud smash of the oven made you smile, but you found the flashing lights casting shadows beneath Hyunjin’s eyes and lips much more fascinating. Of course, this is not the first time you have been held so close to him. But it is, however, all too easy to get lost in the sight of him and you’ve noticed recently that you are in desperate need of a map. Whether it’s due to your time away from him or simply an appreciation for untouched beauty you do not know.

Even now, your gaze flickers to his laptop once you hear ‘Get to Del Taco,’ but having already watched it five thousand times you tilt your head upward to catch Hyunjin’s silent giggle at ‘free-sha-voca-do.’ It’s a vicious cycle, really, going back and forth between wanting to simply enjoy the night and realizing enjoying the night lies totally in Hyunjin’s presence. And so, you continue to fall into this trap each time until you pay no mind to the videos at all, basking in the brilliance of Hyunjin’s joyous smile and the warmth his happiness makes you feel. It is this thought that slowly tugs you to sleep, a fight to keep your heavy eyelids open lost until finally, you give in to the comfort and allow yourself to drift off to the sound of ‘Step the fuck up, Kyle.’

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

“___,” the softness of Hyunjin’s voice at the crown of your head eases you from the clutches of sleep and you stretch your locked limbs before curling further into his side. “We didn’t open presents.” Even though you can’t see him, you can hear his pout, and you realize you must be awake to hear the disappointed words caught sluggishly between his lips so vividly. You hum, hesitant to open your eyes because you really want to go back to sleep. Just for a little while. And so, you ask, “What time is it?”

“Just past two,” he whispers.

You hum again, trying to formulate a sensible sentence in the parts of your brain still asleep, “We can… wake up at four. And open gifts. Okay?”

“Okay, weirdo,” Hyunjin chuckles to himself, sliding lower down the mattress after shutting his laptop.

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

You can’t remember ever falling asleep facing each other. But yet again, your brain is clouded beyond capability and now, you know for certain you are dreaming. Hyunjin never faces you.

Blinking slowly, it takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust to the impenetrable darkness and you struggle to make out the features of Hyunjin’s face. You know you are dreaming, and so you tug him closer, throwing a leg over his thigh and an arm over his waist. Even in your sleep, you feel the sadness pricking at your heart, for even it knows this is only what dreams are made of. You like to make the best of it.

“You know I love you, Jinnie, right?” Your voice comes out funny, drawn out and mumbled like your tongue is numb and you fight the urge to feel for yourself.

“Of course I do. I love you too.” His reply surprises you. You thought he was asleep and, either way, hearing such fond words from him puts your heart at ease. He must be misunderstood.

“No. I mean like… I like you, love you. Like I want to kiss you… kiss you good morning and before bed love you. Send you hearts and take stupid couple pics and… go on dumb dates love you. You know?” Your words feel garbled and incomprehensible the longer you go on, trying to express how you feel when nothing is real proving to be increasingly difficult. God, if only you could do it when things are real.

You start to feel yourself slipping as he mutters a reply, mind in free fall and fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s whispering and you can’t hear him but you are too tired and helpless to wake yourself up to hear it. No, too lost in the next dream to go back. You can’t tell what is real and what isn’t. Christ, were you awake? You can’t tell. All you know is that you are warm, so, so warm and letting sleep take over you once more is the best answer to all your questions.

Hyunjin always says he hates waking people up. Because he’s normally the one needing to be awoken, whenever the roles are swapped he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

This time, however, he takes it upon himself to repeatedly smack your face with his pillow. Not a fun experience when it’s coming from someone who fails to recognize his own strength. “Jesus, fuck! Okay!” You hiss, the cloud of sleep abruptly ripped away from you with the slap of his pillow against your skin. Arms raised defensively in front of you, you catch his next swing and tear the pillow out of his grasp to shield yourself all before you have even opened your eyes. When you do so, with the blatant intention just to find where he is and hurl the pillow at him, you are met with the harsh light from his ceiling fan and have to squint past the stinging white light to see his shit-eating grin.

“Was that necessary?” You groan, undeniably annoyed and wanting to glare at him more but needing to rub the ache out of your eyes. “Yes,” is all he says, reaching for your bag and catapulting it to you. He is incredibly lucky you are quick enough to catch it before it thumps against your head. What has gotten into him? Did he eat an entire bag of Pixy Stix while you were asleep? You watch, still dazed from sleep and reeling from the whole pillow smacking attack, as he flings open his closet door and turns back around with two neatly wrapped boxes. You squint to make out the dancing Santa T-rex wrapping paper.

“Oh,” you chirp, understanding, and you unzip your bag to retrieve the large box taking up the majority of space, “thanks for waking me up. I’m surprised you remembered. Did you stay up?”

A rosy blush burns its way across his cheekbones. Odd. “I, um— yeah. No, actually,” he stutters, really odd, given he was bouncing off the walls not even thirty seconds ago, “I set an alarm. You made me sleepy.” Hyunjin sits beside you once you have scooted over, leaning against the wall and crossing his long ass legs. He keeps his eyes trained on the boxes in his hands. “Oh,” you hum, looking to your own gift and suddenly wishing for the mattress to swallow you up, “sorry. I haven’t gotten as much sleep as you on break so far.”

“I don’t think anyone ever has,” he jokes and you finally look to him, sharing a cheeky smile before he gets all shy again, tongue darting out to wet his lips, “um, Merry Christmas, ___.”

It’s a simple phrase, but it makes your heart swell. “Merry Christmas to you too, Hyunjin.” Leaning over, you wrap your arms around his shoulders in an awkward side hug, but still end up feeling all drunk and loopy on love when he eagerly returns the gesture, arms curling around you.

“Okay,” you huff, sitting back, “me first.” You dramatically hold your gift out to him, jittery and nervous all over. Buying for Hyunjin is always hard. He’s just so easy to please, but when you want to do more than just please him it’s a constant battle trying to decide how far out you are going to go for him each year.

You watch impatiently as he tears the wrapping paper open first, and then finally lifts the flaps of the box up. “Aw,” he whimpers, pulling out the quokka plushie and attached certificate, “you adopted a quokka for me?”

You grin when he hugs the soft stuffed animal to his chest, the weight on your shoulders partly lifted from his positive reaction. He reaches back into the box, brow scrunched in thought as he regards the framed picture. “The First Day…?” Hyunjin asks, perplexed as he reads the title above the constellation poster. You scoot closer, leaning over to look it over once more. “This was the constellation of stars on our first day of freshman year. The day we first met.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin sniffs, “that’s really awesome, ___. Thank you. This is coming with me to school.” At this, he hugs you again, probably to hide the tears you know are threatening to spill because Hyunjin is Baby and cries every year. “Anything for my favorite fake Aussie,” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder as he reads through the quokka adoption letter.

“Okay! Your turn!” He exclaims, setting his gifts back into the box and passing you the smaller one of his. He catches your curious glance to the second one he keeps by his side. “We have to open this one together.”

“Christ, okay. Looks like I’m gonna be crying tonight, too,” you sigh sadly. “Ooh,” jumping ahead of yourself, you wiggle your eyebrows at the white box before you, “Hyunjin if you bought me a Fitbit… I swear to God. How many times have I said I am not working out with you?” However, once you finish tearing open the wrapping paper you find it is not, in fact, a Fitbit.

“It’s not a Fitbit, idiot,” Hyunjin scoffs a second too late, waiting for you to slip the lid off the box. “They’re bond touch bracelets.”

“Explain,” you murmur, enamored but confused at the two little house arrest looking bracelets.

“So basically, we each wear one,” Hyunjin starts, taking one of the bracelets out and a burst of color blooms across its small screen at the motion, “and if you touch it, mine vibrates and I ‘feel’ your touch.” As he explains, he buckles it around your wrist, twisting it so it lies correctly. You silently take the second one and help it on him, brain too caught up to actually say anything.

“Try it,” Hyunjin whispers, suppressing his excitement.

You gingerly bring a finger to the little screen, tapping it once, twice. Nothing happens. Frowning, you try again, tapping and holding, then a second time, and finally— a strip of pink light appears and the bracelet gently vibrates as you tap and hold a random pattern. In response, the bracelet on Hyunjin’s wrist lights up blue, buzzing in the same pattern.

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you sniffle, fighting back your own tears because you refuse to let yourself ugly cry in front of him, “this is amazing. Now I can annoy you year-round. Thank you so, so much. I love you so much.” He hums, pulling you close when you turn to give him a proper hug. To your utmost surprise, however, instead of letting go he curls one fist into your side and helps swing your legs over to straddle his lap. “Oh.”

“___,” Hyunjin sighs thoughtfully, fingers playing with the sleeves of your tee, “I love you, too.”

You nearly spit up your coffee. If you were drinking coffee. Instead, you’re left with a dry mouth and a slack jaw at his words. Huh?

Glancing to the constellation picture peeking out of his box, and then to the matching bracelets you both wear, you find your mind reeling trying to make sense of it all. Yeah, you say the forbidden L-word to each another all the time, but most certainly not with you on his on lap and his lips mere centimeters away. The answer is so obviously clear as day you have trouble believing it.

“Fuck,” you laugh all of a sudden, as soon as the realization hits you, “I wasn’t dreaming, was I?”

Hyunjin lets out a joyous giggle, hands linking behind your back. Unable to hide his smile any longer, he clarifies, “You were not, madam. We literally just finished talking about when we were going to open gifts and then I got ready to sleep. Two seconds later you dumped your heart out to me, but when I answered, you were asleep.”

“Bruh,” you wince, hiding your face with your hands, “I am so sorry you had to deal with that.”

“No, don’t be,” Hyunjin comforts, reaching to tug your hands away. Your gut does somersaults when he intertwines his fingers with yours. “I was actually, uh, planning on doing some sort of confession to you anyway, but then you went right ahead and did it for me. So thanks for that.”

“Wow,” you chuckle, trying to wrap your mind around it all, “does that mean you, ahem, perhaps like me too?”

“No, I just got us really couple-y long distance relationship bracelets, pulled you onto my lap, and kissed you because I just want to be friends.”

“You didn’t kiss m—”

The sly little fucker interrupts your retort by quickly dipping down to press a fat smooch to your lips, missing miserably and you don’t know if he did it on purpose but you quickly fix the problem, releasing his hands to cradle his jaw and tilt his head the right angle. Finally, finally you kiss him, breathing in the smell of him like some sort of aromatherapy and whimpering into his mouth when his tongue swipes against your own. It is like nothing you have ever experienced, the taste and feel of him making you tremble and igniting a burst of electricity through your veins. You could kiss him forever, you think, sucking on his plump bottom lip greedily until he finally pulls back, desperate for air or trying to reel himself in you can’t say.

“You have to open your other gift,” Hyunjin reminds, chest heaving, and your gaze follows his long fingers as they comb his hair away from his forehead. Automatically, as if kissing Hyunjin once grants you some kind of free pass to do the same, you brush a few stray strands away from his face before leaning back to admire him. “Stoooop. You can’t do that and not expect me to kiss you again. Open. Your. Gift.” Hyunjin whines, squishing your cheeks and turning your head away.

“Okay, don’t blame this on me,” you huff, reaching for the second box before jabbing a finger into his chest, “you, sir, need to stop being so beautiful for like, two seconds.”

He scoffs, helping you rip off the wrapping paper, “You’re the beautiful one here.”

“Ew,” you wrinkle your nose, most certainly not used to Hyunjin dishing out such compliments, “this is too Hallmark Christmas movie for me. Let me open my gift in peace, ugly.” This box, unlike the bracelets’, is simple cardboard and when you lift open the lid, a brown leather book looks back at you. “You remember Up?” He asks.

On the leather, it reads Our Adventure Book in mismatched colors. “Yeah,” you whisper, flipping open the cover to find two baby pictures glued on the paper, one of Hyunjin, and one of you. At the top, it’s labeled ‘Before Shit Went Down.’ You laugh.

On the next page, there are random photographs from middle school, and then finally each other’s eighth grade graduation portraits. Then, written at the top is ‘Here It Begins,’ followed by a selfie he randomly took with you a few weeks into school freshman year, and then some from homecoming. Silently flipping through the rest of the book, your tears flow freely now, touched beyond comparison at all the photographs and all the memories accompanying them. Some are from large events like prom, others from random moments you don’t even remember, but each and every one comes together to form a special mold fitting perfectly into that Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart.

The last picture is from the christening last month. Of course, it isn’t one of the nicer photos his mom took of the two of you, but a SnapChat selfie with the flaming sunglasses filter. He’s mid-laugh and you’re pressing a kiss to his cheek. Funny thing is, you don’t even remember taking it.

The page next to it is blank, aside from what’s written at the top of the page. “Togetha Foreva,” you read aloud, voice choked up and God, you cannot fathom how gross you look right now. “What the fuck, man!” You sob, punching Hyunjin’s shoulder before wiping your nose and cheeks with the back of your hands. “I didn’t sign up for this cock and ball torture.”

Hyunjin laughs loudly at this, pulling you into a hug and giving you a few seconds to recover. “Hyunjin, this is like… seriously the best thing anyone has ever done for me, holy shit. God, you Pinterest son of a bitch, this is such a good idea,” you groan, flipping back through the pages and getting teary-eyed all over again, “I can’t express how much this means to me, Jinnie. Thank you, really.”

Flashing that toothy grin of his, Hyunjin tugs you to lie back down with him and tilts your head up to press a much more accurate kiss to your lips. “I meant what I said before, ___,” he murmurs, “I don’t know what to do without you, and I know we only get to see each other once a month but I can’t keep living as just friends. You’re so much more than that. And I hope all the pictures we add from now on will show this new chapter of our lives. If not, well, then I guess I’ll just burn the book.”

“Are you asking me to be Kkami’s official poop-picker-upper?”

“Yes. Wait— what? No!”

You break into a fit of laughter, only to be interrupted with him pinching your side and causing you to let out a yelp. “Hey!” You bark, jumping closer to him and away from his hand until, finally, you give in to your self-indulgence and go right on ahead in swinging a leg over his hips and pinning him beneath you.

“You ruined my serious love speech, ___,” Hyunjin pouts, face scrunched up at you.

“I’m sorry, baby, go on.”

You pause, blinking slowly at him. He blinks back, the silence in the air weighing in heavily as both of your two brain cells bounce around trying to figure out what did you just call him?

“Never mind,” Hyunjin says, voice a low rumble of thunder as he reaches for your hips and easily flips positions, “I think you’re on the same boat.”

You laugh, tilting your head back and eyeing him indignantly. Fuck, he looks unfairly delectable hovering above you.

“Okay, how many more times do I have to tell you I love you for you to formally ask me to be your girlfriend, stupid?” You scowl, bringing your hands to cradle his neck, thumbs brushing delicately against his jaw.

“Call me baby again and we’ll see about making that happen.”

You raise a brow, tugging his face closer by the chain of his necklace. “You’re lucky it’s Christmas, baby.”

1K notes · View notes

virgil-is-a-bitch · 4 years

Text

So I meant to get this out earlier than I did. However its here now!

The idea started from an ask @random-fander sent (You're amazing btw, thank you so much)

Warnings: Unsympathetic Virgil, claustrophobia, panic attacks, panic attacks described in detail, self hate, self hate talk, Virgil being a dick, mind manipulation, Remus being Remus (including-body gore, gore, food metion, burns, gross talk, being trapped, spiders, spider horror, caps) , ducking out being talked about, ducking out being a form of sh, slfhrm

This gets dark so be careful

This is split into four parts. All of the parts flow together in the order they are in, but if you need to skip a part, it should still make sense. Stay safe y'all

Anxiety vs The Brain - Logan pov

Anxiety vs The Ego- Romans pov

Anxiety vs The Rejected- Remus and a little bit of Thomas pov

Anxiety vs The Snake- Janus and Virgil pov

Each part is split up with ~~~~~~

Enjoy~

[Also I'm on mobile tumblr, and it won't let me put a read more. My apologies]

The Fight of Anxiety

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Anxiety vs The Brain~

Logan was mildly upset. No, correction. He was... frustrated. Another pointless argument. More time wasted when something actually productive could have happened. Overwhelming heat swirled pushed against his ribs as he briskly walked towards his room. He was in desperate need of a break from the others. He needed to be somewhere spacious. His room, where he could let his feelings, the burning heat, out.

"Hey Teach?" He knew that voice, he didn't want to deal with the side who owned that voice at the moment. But he did the polite thing and turned around to face Virgil.

"Is there anything I can assist you with?" He asked, his voice flat like that a cool glass filled with ice water. Something he had practiced, it was easier to deal with the temperatures in his chest with the others being unaware that it even existed. So he gave no signs that things were off, if just to keep things running smoothly.

The sound of the others shoes squeaking against the floor, raised the temperature a few degrees inside Logan, as Virgil made he's way over to him. "Lets just walk for a bit, okay Lo?"

Logans fingers were about to burst from the heat that laid just below his skin. He's nickname left a ugly taste, like burnt coffee beans, in his mouth when it came from this side. However he just gave a short nod and continued walking down the hall, now with Virgil along side of him.

They walked in an uncomfortable silence for a while, the only sound was the squeaking of those shoes and light breathing. Logan refused to look at the other. That was until they got to Logans door. A sigh of relief escaped him as they both stopped, his shoulders relaxing just slightly.

Now all that was between him and being able to cool down: was simple door.

"I'm afraid this is my stop." He stated to Virgil, a small forced smile on his face.

When he didn't get a response, not even a shrug, Logan turned and faced his door. The deep blue paint was starting to chip in places, he would need to remember to borrow some paint from Roman later. The tips of Logans fingers cooled against the smooth metal of the doorknob as he grasped it. He turned the handle and opened it, and a sour taste nipped at his mouth. Hadn't he left his lamp on? Why was it so dark?

A pair of hands where on his back suddenly, causing him to flinch hard. But before he could turn around and inquire what the hell was going on, he was shoved past the door frame and into the dark, into something that felt like a boxes. He turned around in time to see Virgil.

His hair a mess, his eyes a deep cold purple (as cold when you forget a coat durning a winter storm) but worse of all was his smirk. The smirk that said Virgil knew exactly what he was doing. And he didn't regret it at all. And then Logan couldn't see him at all, as the door slammed shut.

The door made a harsh noise when shut, like a piano stopped midsong, never to finish the piece, leaving an empty feeling. Logans breathing speed up as his hands searched for a doorknob. But there was nothing on this side of the door. He put his arms to the side, just to find out he barely had a couple inches on either side. His breathing hitched, the heat swirled faster, making his chest feel like it was break open. An empty feeling clouded his head as he fall back against a tower of boxes. The tower swayed, threatening to fall.

Heat spilled from his eyes painfully, as he tried to feel for anyway out. Empty whimpers crawled out of his mouth, but were to quite for anyone to hear. The heat swirled with the empty from his head, both of them feeling like to much. It was to much as the sound of squeaking shoes started up and started going away from him.

"No- Virgil!" He cried as loud as he could, but the heat & emptiness muffled his words, "Please- I, please... Can't..." His voice burned from the bottom of his lungs to the roof of his mouth. There was so much pain, so much heat, so much of everything. But there wasn't enough space. No room to breath, no room to move. No room.

No room

Not enough room to breath

Not enough room to move

Not enough room

No way for Logan to let go of anything, so it stayed in him. Trapped in him. The heat was trapped, and same with the emptiness. Suck in him. Just wanting out, where he could breath.

But he was stuck in his own hell, behind a simple door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Anxiety vs The Ego~

Roman hummed softly, humming always helped seemed to help soften other noises. And oh boy, he had a killer headache at the moment. It felt like all of the Disney songs had played at once at the loudest volume, and as much as he loved Disney, it was overwhelming.

However it hadn't been all of the Disney songs at once, it had been everyone arguing about Thomas hopes and dreams! Well, perhaps it hadn't only been about that... But that was the part that had made Romans head pound like a drum!

He tapped his fingers to the beat of the song he hummed softly as he headed towards Logans room. After the debate the normally calm logically side looked distressed, and if any side knew what distressed looked liked it would be Roman!

So, like the hero he likes to think he was, Roman decided to ignore the beat in his head and go check in on the distressed side who needed his help!

Although, "How can you think that 'you' could help anyone?" Virgil asked at breakfast interrupting Romans explanation of Thomas' dream from the night before. "Really Roman, how could you be a hero?" the memory pounded in his head, his humming got louder.

Maybe he could check on Logan as a friend, he didn't always need to be a hero anyways. Sometimes friends are needed, not hero's. Roman gave a nod at the idea, and continue walking, unaware that he had even stopped.

"Really Roman, how can you be our friend if it always has to be about you?" Virgil's voice seemed to whisper in his ear, repeating something he had said earlier. Romans breath hitched, his humming coming to a harsh stop.

"You act like you're better than us, look in a mirror once in a while Princy." Roman squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head. He really didn't think he was better than any of them. Virgil must have been upset, which is fair he had to deal with Roman after all.

Roman cover his face with his hands, hiding large tears rolling down his face. His back against the hall wall. His head pounding with the crude words of the anxious sides.

"Oh my fucking God Roman. Can't you do anything right?"

"It's not surprising that Thomas didn't get the part. You're his creativity after all."

"I'm not even surprised that you failed. Again."

Roman was on the floor now curled up against the wall, his body was shaking with heavy loud sobs. It was to loud, his voice was to loud.

"Wow." Romans head shot up, this time the voice wasn't just in his head, it was right in front of him. Virgil looked disgusted, as if looking at something worse then trash... And maybe he was. "Do you have to make yourself everyone else's problem? No one wants to see you like this. I thought Princes where strong. I guess not."

His words replayed in Romans head, like a skipping CD raising in volume every repeat. "W-What?" Roman asked, his voice broken and far to quiet.

But Virgil heard him just fine. "I know you heard me just fine Princey. Why do you lie like he does? Maybe you should join them. I wouldn't be surprised if you do. You would betray us, wouldn't you??" Virgil yelled, small tears running down his checks smearing his makeup.

Roman blinked, when did he start crying. Oh god he made Virgil cry. Oh god oh god. No, no he didn't mean to. He was sorry- oh god how horrid was he to make Verge cry. He stood up as fast as he could on shaky legs. "Oh god, Virgil I'm sorry-"

Virgil scoffed, "You are just like them, aren't you?" He wiped his eyes and shook his head. "I thought I could trust you.." He whispered before putting his hood on and walking away from Roman.

Roman hurt, his head hurt, his eyes hurt. The ego himself hurt.

He was broken. He couldn't breath. He sunk out of the hall, and into his room. The mirrors that once had been whole, were now shattered. Thomas's ego threw himself onto his bed. Bruised and broken, vowing not to come out unless absolutely necessary. Completing forgetting about looking for Thomas' logical side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Anxiety vs The Rejected~

Remus swung a baseball bat as hard as he could into basically anything in his room. His own laughter bouncing off the walls. He was upsettie spaghetti, Thommie didn't like his ideas as much as Romans. Not that Romans weren't good, but they didn't have Remus flair!

Remus wanted to be noticed not rejected! He really wanted even just one of his ideas to be at least considered- But if they wouldn't listen, he could make him self heard!

Remus let out a blood curdling scream, the baseball bat changing to a sword as he stabbed a wall and leaving it there. He let out a laugh before letting out a sob. But normal tears where Roman thing! So boring! So he cried battery acid, it burned, but at least it was interesting!

He tried to rub it away, but it only made it worse and more painful the more he rubbed. He let out a frustrated scream as it burned, snapping his fingers and the acid was gone, no marks on his skin.

"Haha Remus, maybe acid wasn't the best idea! Maybe milk! Ooooo chunky milk tears!" He started to cry again but with chucky milk, it smelled horrid, perfect!

Thomas cringed at the idea of chunky milk tears, but pushed the thought back. He hugged a pillow to his chest, his eyes where glued to the TV. He didn't understand why he felt so shitty today. Sure he and his side got into a argument, but he normally didn't feel this bad afterwards.

Remus snicker and wiped away the tears, grabbing a stuffie (a Pumbaa stuffie from lion king, Janus had given it to him, and Remus had given him Timon) hugging it close to his chest. "Pumbaa? Imagine if you had real organs and not fluff? Well not you. JayJay spent a long time working on you, so maybe a different stuffie, cool idea right?" Remus bit his lip in thought. His mind spiraling down a rabbit hole- pfht- of that idea.

He set Pumbaa down on his one nightstand, and grabbed a notebook and a simple blue pen and started scribbling down notes against the wall. Randomly yelling out what he was writing, or letting out a laugh. His mood going up now that he could write out an idea. That he could do it with out being told what he was doing was bad. It felt amazing.

There was a knock on his door, and Remus' face split into a grin. "Come right on in hoe bag!" The door opened and Remus spun around notebook held out in front of him, excitement flooding him. "Look at this Janu- hold on, your not Double Dee!"

Virgil stood in his doorway, eyes glancing around the room, the disgust evident on his face. "I see you still don't know how to clean."

Remus quickly closed his notebook and held it to his chest. "Nope! Cleaning is for losers who don't like the adventure of trying to find shit!" Remus said, feeling that he had been a bit to loud. And the worry was proven right when Virgil flinched at his voice and looked away.

Remus cleared his throat and made sure his voice was at a more 'inside' volume. "So, um," he cleared his throat, holding the notebook tighter. "Whatca doing here raccoon bitch?"

Virgil eyes jumped up to Remus and down to his notebook, "Isn't that your idea notebook or some shit?" Virgil asked, ignoring his question.

Not very sneakily, Remus thought, but had something else he was more forced on. "Its none of your business, maybe it's porn!" He giggled, knowing it wasn't the best lie, but it really could be porn, if he knew himself.

"You know Thomas doesn't like your ideas, right?" Virgil asked with a sneer. His voice heavy and gross. But not in a gross way that Remus liked, this gross felt heavy and sticky. It felt like his words clinged to his very skin. And no matter how hard he rubbed at his skin the feeling wouldn't leave.

Remus did not like sticky.

"Well you know Thomas doesn't like being anxious right??" Remus snapped back, a moment or two late. Making it noticeable that he was affected by his words.

Virgil smirked, having noticed that his words had the affect he wanted. "Well at least I have a purpose, I keep him safe. Not tear him down."

Remus huffed, his hands starting to rip at the edge of the notebook. "What do you want Anxiety?" He asked, his voice dark. It washed over his room marking the temperature drop a degree or two.

Virgil finally walked out of the doorway and into the others room. Stepping over and around anything on his floor. "I want you to stop existing." He said bluntly. Stopping once he was an arm length away from Remus.

Remus snorted and then started full on laughing. Even going to the extent to slap his knee, once he caught his breath and straightened (ha) he looked at Virgil, raising one of his eyebrows. However Virgil didn't look as amused. "What? I'm a part of Thomas. He needs me to be whole! I can't just stop, ya know, being. Like, I'm not you! I'm not gonna be a dramatic duck and duck out- oh, oh shit." Remus' eyes went wide, one even popped out of his socket which he quickly pushed it back in. "That's not what you meant, right Verge?"

Virgil smiled sickly, "I'm glad you figured it out so quickly. I was worried I would have to explain it for your tiny dumb brain." He took half a step closer, and Remus tensed up.

Remus dropped his notebook. And summoned his morning star, "I think its time for you to leave. You're not welcome here anymore." His voice dropped to gravely tone. His room walls shook violently, as stuff fell off. Pumbaa took a dive off the table to the floor.

Virgil's face pinched as he seemed to think it over. He gave a bitter sweet fake smile. "I don't think I will Remus." And with that he jumped at Remus.

Remus went to swing the moment Virgil moved but something held back his morning star, he glanced over his shoulder to see webs over it, connecting it to the wall. Oh fuck- and then he was knocked into the wall. He immediately started to struggle and screaming.

Webs were sticky, webs could caught you and keep you there.

And Remus was fucking shit his pants scared.

Virgil growled and covered his mouth, a sticky substance climbing from his sleeve and covering his mouth.

"No! Fuck no!" Remus tried to screamed, some of it going into his mouth. He gagged and threw his head back and forth.

The webs covered his arms and legs, pinning him to the wall. Virgil stepped back, panting lightly while smiling at his handy work. He wiped his brow before bending down and picking up Remus notebook and opened it.

Remus struggled harder, Virgil wasn't suppose to look though it, fuck! The stickyness of the webs made him so uncomfortable, he wanted to rub his skin with an metal sponge until it was all gone. He gagged at the feeling of it over his mouth, and tried to scream, but barely any noise got through the thick web covering his mouth.

Virgil tutted as he looked through the note book. "All of these are horrid- and I thought Romans ideas were shit!" He let out a chuckle before ripping out a few sheets.

Remus whimpered, eyes going wide. He shook his head wildly. Those where his ideas! He didn't care if Virgil liked them, he didn't care if everybody hated them! He just couldn't have them ruined, they were his! And he loved them-

Virgil rolled his eyes and rip the papers in half and then into quarters, and he kept going until the papers where confetti sized.

Remus had thick milk tears running down his face, pooling on the web gag. He wanted to yell, he wanted to hit Virgil. He just wanted Virgil out. But he was stuck. Quiet literally.

Virgil tore up the rest of his ideas, and then threw it like confetti into the air. He smiled and dropped the cover of the notebook before turning around and walking towards the door. While going out of his way to stomp onto Pumbaa.

Remus growled as loud as he could, thrashing against the webs. Don't fucking leave me like this, you motherfucker! Fuck you piss bitch! He tried to yell against the gag.

Virgil smirked, and opened his door. "Wouldn't it be such a shame if your door lock? So no one could come in?" He chuckled darkly, "Or get out?"

Remus was rightfully freaked out, No! Satan's asshole, please no! The idea of being alone, no one knowing, no one being able to hear him shook him to his core. Whether or not Virgil could do it, didn't matter. Remus' thoughts were already running wild. What if he died here? Alone, even unable to scream?? What if there was spider babies in the sack on his mouth and they hatch and eat his face???

His thoughts were interrupted by his door closing, and the sound of a lock clicking. If he was freaking out before, he was losing his goddamn mind now. He couldn't make sense of his thoughts, the sticky webs seemed to be more sticky and climbing over his skin.

I need out, I need out, I NEED TO GET OUT!

That one solid fact stuck out in his mind, and he tried to sink out, only to find out.

That he can't. He just can't, no matter how hard he tried.

His mind turned from painfully full to excruciating empty.

Milk tears ran down his face and dripping around the web mask as he sobs went unheard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Anxiety vs The Protector~

Janus gripped the plate harder than needed, as the sound of squeaking shoes came down the stairs. He set the plate into the soapy water, clenching his jaw. The horrid squeaking made its way to the kitchen to right behind him. His back was stiff as he grabbed a sponge and started washing the plate.

He wasn't dumb, this wasn't the first time. It just had never been this extreme. As Self preservation he could always tell the stability of the mind as a whole, and right now everything was crashing to the ground.

"What the hell have you done to everyone Virgil?" Janus said in a calm voice, his angry barely noticeable. Like the last burning coal in a fire pit filled with charcoal, hard to see, but still able to burn. And if the right breeze blew, that single coal could start the spark to burn down a forest.

He kept his hands hidden in the soapy water, scrubbing the plate, hiding the ever so slight shake of his hands.

"Why do you think I had anything to do with it? We both know your the one that hurts Thomas." Virgil replied, his voice oddly soft which was off putting.

Deceit, gave a dry single 'Ha' as he lift the plate out of the soapy water and into the clear rinse water. The soap bubbles from the plate and his shiny gloves spreading out on the clear water. "Now Virgil, I'm suppose to be the lying side. You wouldn't want to be like evil old me, right?" He chastised lightly, shoving down any of his fear. He needed answers, he needed to know what happened so he could help others. To get Thomas stable.

Virgil growled softly, inching closer to Janus' back. "Deceit, you fucking snake. Trying to turn my own words against me?"

Janus rolled his eyes pulling the plate out of the water and placing it in the already half filled dish drainer. "Well, Anxiety, you shouldn't have said it then." He pulled out the plugs from both sinks and watched the water spin down the drains.

Virgil hissed, standing right behind him now. His eyes watched over his shoulder as Janus pulled off the bight yellow rubber washing gloves from his hands showing his scaled hands. "How does it feel to be the monster of the group?" Virgil's voice dripped in false honey, as if asking how Janus' day was going.

His breath hitched, it stung him somewhere deep. It hurt. But he couldn't focus on it at the moment. He needed to stay focused.

He pulled a pair of soft yellow cotton gloves from his pants pocket, slipping them on over his scaley, bumpy ugly hands. Hiding the sight of his hands from both of them. He turned to face Virgil, keeping his face blank. "I don't know, how does it feel?"

Virgils face flushed in anger. Unlike Janus, he felt no need to hide his emotions. His emotions fueled him, pushed him to do what he was doing. "Shut your fucking mouth!" He shouted, getting even closer to Janus face.

The threatened snake growled in warning. His scaled half of his jaw dislocated and dropped, showing off his sharp teeth.

Virgils brow furrowed as if in thought, and Janus felt a cooling pressure surrounding his head, pushing into his brain. "No-" he gasped out as he fell back, his hands catching on the counter, holding him up. Water droplets from the sink darkening his gloves. "You don't get to fucking try that shit on me!" Janus hissed, the pressure intensified before backing off. He winced, eyeing the other in front of him.

Virgil had a shit eating grin on his face, the rest of his face was relaxed. He had found what he needed, and Oh good God was this going to be fun-

"Do you know the real reason I left DeeDee?" Virgils voice was fluffy and sweet like cotton candy. Janus didn't trust it, he didn't trust him. His head ached from the earlier pressure. But maybe if he let Virgil talk he could figure out just what happened.

"I totally do, VeeVee," he spat out the nickname harshly like it had burned his mouth, "You defiantly told Remus and I the reason why, before you left. You, for sure, didn't just leave one day. No note or anything."

Virgil rolled his eyes with a sigh. He looked down at the ground and scoffed the floor with marks with his shoes, "Deceit. You're the reason. You're the reason I left, I couldn't handle you. Always lying about the simplest things. Not caring about us. Me and Remus. You only ever cared about yourself!" When he started his voice had been soft, but by the end of his rant he was yelling and his voice was breaking... In pain?

Janus mouth was open, he couldn't help it. He was in shock. Damn, he was expecting it, but it still pained him. His brain seemed to grow heavy, he blinked hard, his mouth closing, and refocused his brain. No. He couldn't give in, Thomas needed him.

But Virgil wasn't done.

"Deceit..." He let out a soft, wet chuckle, "You're the reason I ducked out. Your voice haunts me every moment of everyday of my life. I can't stand you. You hurt everybody, you infect everyone you come in contact with." He was staring holes into Janus, the other was breaking before him. His eyes were clouded over, his human eye had a single tear drop out and roll down his cheek. And oh, did it feel great to break him. He just needed to do one last hard hit to get him to completely fall.

Janus was shattering like glass, and he knew it. He just needed to hold out a little longer. He wasn't sure what he was holding out for any more at this point, he just needed to hold on.

But Virgil sound hurt, maybe he really was that horrid. To dive someone to stop doing what they are made to- to drive someone to try to not be. Dear lord, he was a monster. A tear welled in his human eye and slipped down his check.

"You pushed Remus to it too..." Virgil muttered, pulling his hood over his head. He brought his hand up to his face as if wiping away tears.

The snakes legs shook, barely holding him up. "What do you mean, Virgil?" He ask softly. His voice was laced in pain. Virgil had to be lying, right? Remus was his best friend. They shared ideas, watched movies, made dumb plans on how to bug the others. Janus didn't hurt him, like that.

Right?

Virgil sighed, tired, as if he was explaining something simple to a child. "I meant what I said Deceit. Remus has ducked out, and you pushed him to it." Virgil let out a sob, "He ducked out because of you." He lifted his head to look at Janus, "Why can't you just let us be happy?"

Janus shattered into a thousand pieces. His legs gave out and he fell to the floor. He was the one to protect them, not hurt them. He had caused pain. He hurt Thomas, the main person he was suppose to care for. And now his best friend was- no! He could fix this. The lights had helped Virgil, he could help Remus.

He got back up, it was hard too, but he needed to correct this. He had too. He could feel the very foundations of the mind splint like old wood. He needed to fix this. He took a step towards the stairs, up the stairs was his and Remus' room. And once he figured out how to get in his room, he would help his best friend. Because that's what friends do. He had tunnel vision, all he could focus on was the stairs, and getting up those stairs and to Remus-

He took another step towards the stairs, but hand on his chest pushed him back. He turned his head to the owner of the hand, Virgil.

Virgil gave a shake of his head, "Janus," Janus felt a shiver run through his body, this was the first time his name had pasted his mouth, "Do you really think he would want to see you?"

He slowly sat down on the floor again, pulling his knees to his chest. The sound of shoes squeaking echoed in his head, even after the actual noise was to far away to hear. He couldn't really see anything, everything was to blurry with tears. He felt broken and dumb. How could he have been so selfish and not notice what Remus was going though?

Janus gasped, maybe Virgil was right. Virgil would be the one to understand what Remus was going through. Janus nodded, he would give Remus time.

He really was a monster, wasn't he?

106 notes · View notes

wondershawns · 4 years

Note

15 and 20 from the prompt list with werewolf!shawn (argst if u can) i love ur writing btw💕🥰

A/N: I’m going to need to go write something happy after this because I seriously miss fluff, but until then here’s something angsty I managed to put together today (while ignoring my quickly approaching exams. I hope you’ll like it! The prompts were “Are you going to cry now?” and “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Shawn asked the question that had been nagging him for days. It was just two days after his eighteenth birthday, two days after he met you at his party and you avoided him like the plague.

“What are you talking about?” You froze, wondering how the hell he managed to find you alone in a room when you were putting so much effort into being around other people or as far away from him as possible.

“Why do you keep on acting like I don’t exist? Can you fucking stop ignoring me?” He wasn’t asking for a lot, just basic human decency that you apparently couldn’t show him. Mates were sacred among werewolves, you couldn’t just run away from him at every given opportunity without ever giving him a chance or an explanation.

“I’m not ignoring you.” You wished you could. You wished you couldn’t feel him walk in every room, it would be so much easier if his confusion and anger weren’t so easy for you to understand because his emotions were already connected to yours. If his frustration wasn’t so overwhelming maybe he’d be able to feel your pain, and maybe he’d understand.

“But you won’t talk to me.” He rose an annoyed eyebrow, what was you definition of ignoring someone if this wasn’t it?

“I have no reason to talk to you.” You wrapped your arms around yourself defensively, wishing someone could walk in on this so that you could escape.

“I think being mates is a pretty good reason to start having conversations.” He snapped. The distance and confusion had put him on edge for the past few days, and he was past the point of being gentle.

“You’re not my mate.” You shook your head.

“Ooookay,” Shawn sighed, frustration written all over his features. “There must be something I’m not getting here, because we clearly are mates.”

“No.” You reiterated, looking for a way out, but he was blocking your path to the door and you felt like he wouldn’t let you go before the conversation was over.

“Oh my god,” He muttered, rubbing his temples. “Can we like… talk about this without you just denying something that’s established? We’re obviously mates and you don’t have to be happy about it, but at least don’t be a bitch to me before you even get to know me.”

“I don’t want to talk to you Shawn,” You took a step back, eyes watering because he was becoming more annoyed by the second and his tone grew harsher with every word that came out of his mouth.

“Are you going to cry now?” His jaw was set, and he didn’t know if he was supposed to laugh or roll his eyes and punch a wall. You were obviously his mate, he could feel it and you could too, it didn’t need to be such a huge deal if you could just accept it. He didn’t need you to be fine with him and suddenly become his best friend but admitting fate brought you together was easy, it was obvious. “Listen, I don’t know why you keep on saying that, but I can feel we’re mates and I know that you know it too.”

“You’re not my mate Shawn. You’re my second chance. I had a mate, and he’s gone.” You bit back tears as you said it, silently praying he would leave you alone and you wouldn’t have to talk about it more.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry.” His eyes widened in horror, and he suddenly felt very small. “I’m so so sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” You mumbled, wiping your cheeks again before pushing past him and heading out of the house, immediately shifting into your wolf form to get home faster.

“I’m such an asshole oh my god,” Shawn ran a distressed hand through his hair as he jogged up the stairs to his room.

Of course you wouldn’t want a new mate, you were both extremely young and he hadn’t even considered the possibility of you having a mate that you lost before. It was still fairly recent since mates only recognised each other past the age of sixteen, even if you had lost him right after meeting him it was less than two years ago, and a bond between mates wasn’t easily broken.

You locked yourself in your room as soon as you made it home, holding a pillow over your face to muffle the noise you made. You shut your eyes as tightly as you could, your whole face scrunched because you refused to cry, not again, not anymore. It had taken you ages to get back on your feet, and if Shawn knew you had lost your mate just a few months ago he’d understand.

You weren’t expecting fate to bring you anyone after this, you were too deep into your pain, you had gotten something beautiful and it was torn away from you, you wouldn’t risk it again. You couldn’t go through it, you couldn’t bring yourself to accept you were allowed something good because if you lost it again you would never get back up.

Shawn was probably a good guy, he was an alpha, growing and learning to take over the pack in a few years, he had everything anyone could be looking for. You didn’t know him, the pack was huge and you never spent time with him before, but everything you had ever heard about him was positive.

You just weren’t ready to deal with the feelings that were bound to appear between both of you. Shawn was expecting a relationship out of this, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to think about it. Maybe with time you’d be able to consider being his friend, mates as best friends existed if they didn’t want relationships, but they weren’t the norm.

You wouldn’t be able to avoid him forever, it wasn’t fair to either of you. You’d mope around and cry in pain, and he’d be miserable trying to spend time with you because distance between mates always hurt. As badly as you wanted to ignore the bond between you two Shawn was right, it wasn’t fair to ignore him and you had to figure something out.

It was only a few days later that you found yourself in the pack house where he now stayed, a few minutes away from his family to be at the heart of the pack and gain some independence. You had always spent all of your time in the pack house, a lot of wolves that stayed there were your friends, but Shawn was usually too busy to hang around.

Now that he lived there he was more present, and he was surprised to find you in the kitchen, talking with some other wolves until he came in.

“Hi,” He greeted you, waiting until the room cleared before he continued. “I’m sorry I was such an ass.” Shawn apologised, and you gave him a small nod. “I can feel what you feel too now, I’m sure you already know that, so uh, it’s hard to stay away from you.”

“I know.”

“I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you… I just… I need you to tell me what you want from me. I can try and give you space, or whatever it is that would make you feel better, but I can’t figure it out unless you tell me.” He had thought about it long and hard, and his only conclusion was that he needed you to be happy. It was everything he wanted for you, and he needed to know how he could help you get to that, whether it was with him or away from him.

“I think it’s only fair that you know what happened.” You linked your hands together nervously in front of you, you had rehearsed the words in your head enough times, but you weren’t sure you’d be able to get through the story without crying. “I’m going to keep this short but… my mate was my best friend since we were fourteen, so you can imagine how happy we were when we got old enough to understand we were meant to be together. He- He died protecting the pups that were found on the other side of the river last winter.”

“I remember that,” Shawn murmured, everyone had heard about it, and a family had taken the three young children in. They were slowly getting used to being in their human form again, he checked on them several times a week and tried to hang around to play with them. “I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” You shrugged, your throat tightening. “But I never thought this would happen with you.”

“Honestly me neither,” Shawn ran a hand through his hair. “I was scared and confused when you avoided me before I knew, I’m sorry I snapped, I should’ve just asked like a normal person.”

“It’s okay, I get it.” You accepted his apology, he genuinely felt bad and you knew it wasn’t really his fault. He had no idea and he was hit by strong feelings he had never dealt with before, it wasn’t surprising that he got overwhelmed. “I know I can’t really stay away from you, that would never work.”

“So what’s your plan?” Shawn waited patiently to know where he was supposed to stand with you, a glimmer of hope in his eyes now that he knew you didn’t want to keep too much distance.

“You can’t expect me to want to be more than friends with you, at least for a long time if it ever changes. I just- I can’t deal with that, and I need it to be clear if we’re going to be around each other, as friends.”

“That’s honestly more than I was expecting.” Shawn breathed out, relieved at the news. He wasn’t in love with you, he didn’t even know you, he just felt a deep connection and he cared about you more than he’d dare put into words. If you decided from the start that you should be friends he knew to keep his distance.

“You’re okay with it?”

“Honestly I’m okay with anything as long as I see you.” He nodded, quickly reassuring you. “I barely even know you, I wasn’t expecting anything, just some time with you.”

“Okay,”

“Do you feel better with that cleared up?” You nodded rapidly, unable to answer as your eyes pooled with tears. “Hey, no, don’t cry.” He reached out to you before quickly retracting his hand when he realised that was probably off limits for now.

“I’m gonna go home,” You voice cracked at the end of the sentence and you pressed your palms over your eyes. “But, uh, I’ll be around tonight.”

“That’s alright, just don’t hesitate to text if you need anything, yeah?” He didn’t want to make you feel like you had to stay, he didn’t know how to help when you cried and you probably didn’t want to stand in the middle of the kitchen sobbing with him awkwardly watching.

“Thanks,” You sniffled and he stood aside to let you leave, his heart twisting knowing he couldn’t do anything to comfort you.

Shawn only released the breath he was holding after he heard the front door close behind you. Now that you had talked the best he could do was give you time. He was going to be the best friend he could ever be even if he wasn’t sure of how yet.

tags: @itrocksmysocks @r3ader @everythinghappening16 @sunrise-shawn @alilovesshawn @5-seconds-of-mendes @sleepybesson @definitelynotshawnmendes @chrizzy95 @sunrisebrashx @justanotherfangurl272 @turtoix @mariamuses @tastebaldwin @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @queenmxndes @wildflowerfeast @imaginashawnns @falliningrace @shawnsheaven @heart-struck @thotmendes @luvluvxx @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @babieforshawnn @breakingblondiee @zaahidahhh @tnhmblive @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @adelaidestreets @palhacomendes @muffin-saucex @lanallaa @goldenmndes@fanficshawn @lostinmendess @connordavidscamera @dolansugar @shawnsthighs @valedictorian65

#shawn mendes #requests #werewolf!shawn #angst

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dongiovannaswife · 4 years

Note

Alright... I see your creativity with these song fics (very good idea btw), so I'll indulge! Can you write a fic of "Sky Full of Song" by Florence and the Machine with Risotto and fem s/o? The song I believe is about a person's personal struggle with committing to things, and they're calling out to the other person to ground them, while the other loves them unconditionally.

Side note: Such a great writer requesting from me?! I’m honored! And nervous lmao. Thank you, I really hope this is good enough *crying emoji*

I noticed I changed the point of view out of the blue, and I apologize, I really have no idea why it happened, but I figured it felt good, somehow? More engaging? Sorry :c

SONG FIC: SKY FULL OF SONG BY FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE; RISOTTO NERO.

The first step to solve a problem is accept it.

(Y/n) knew this long before things got worse. She believed that maybe, if she managed to somehow commit to herself, she would be able to make the rest of things left to do. However, sometimes it’s easier to think about the solution or the plans than act, than make it happen. Because the will to accomplish them doesn’t come easily, or it comes and goes in waves.

At some point, it felt like there was no opportunity she could make all those things she once wanted, all her projects left unfinished; some started, some halfway through the process, some almost finished.

Frustration grew and grew until it exploded in a bunch of negative feelings towards herself, feeling like she was drowning in a cup. Maybe the problem wasn’t so bad or so big, but it was also true that during these blinding moments, one could see smaller problems as big threats.

And that’s why she ended up lying down in the roof of La Squadra's hideout. She wasn’t used to the silence that welcomed her there as she gazed at the stars that shine bright like everything was happiness and good things; she envied them for a moment, wishing she could be one of them or something else that didn’t had so many things to do.

La Squadra’s hideout wasn’t a quiet place, it never was and maybe it will never be; perhaps only in the moment they all stopped working there for any twisted reason. However, thinking about the future felt too overwhelming in the moment, and totally something (Y/n) didn’t needed to worry about at the moment, not with her problem.

Instead, questions and worries started coming; one after the other without mercy. All the things, the reports, the tasks, the social events, the laundry, the dishes to wash; everything that required some of that committing she lacked, and struggled to find, coming to remind her of her shame and pain and sadness but most of all, desperation.

The first step to solve a problem is accept it.

Then, if she knew and accept it what was wrong long before things got like this, why couldn’t she draw a line and start doing it?

If the first step to solve a problem is accept it, and she already accepted it, then where was the resolve to solve it? Wanting to do something is not equal to be able to do it —but for god’s sake, that was such a lame thing to say, more when it was about justifying her lack of productivity. (Y/n) was an assassin, one who knew how to commit to her mission if she wanted to have food at her table, clothes to dress on and a roof above her head; but that was long ago, and it’s been some time since Risotto Nero, her capo and secretly lover for some time now, sent her on a mission. It wasn’t clear if he was aware of her situation or if he was trying to protect her. Thinking wisely, the most possible option was the first, since Risotto had the capacity to distinguish between his relationships and job pretty good— the man had an absolute control over his actions, plans and team.

A control she desired to have.

And speaking of him, and almost like he could read her mind, the door to the roof opened and Risotto's tall and impotent form appeared; his eyes, burgundy and coal; bloody storm and void, glued to her form as soon as they spotted her. He bows softly, silently walking up to her and it’s in that moment when she notices how he’s not using his usual clothes but instead, he’s dressed in black shorts and a t-shirt with his favorite band logo imprinted in the front; realization hits her, then, and she remembers that shirt as their second date, when they attended a concert, that happened around his birthday two years ago —how he smiled so genuinely. As if for a moment they both were normal people, not a pair of assassins working under the most ridiculously powerful famiglia in Italy, almost like they were an important part of society.

“I’ve noticed you’re not doing well lately, (Y/n). What’s wrong?”

Always so direct.

She shifts in her place, trying to find the right words to explain, but finding a storm of ideas and feeling both in her head and heart; Risotto blinks, watching silently and when she’s starting to shift again, he looks away, speaking again so gentle and calm it feels like the strength of his voice is like a careless whisper.

“Don’t worry, I’m not intending to rush you.”

She nods, stopping and looking down.

Her mind wanders, thinking back to her problem, unaware of his eyes fixed in her again, taking in every single hair, every single part of her; the way her eyebrows twitch while she thinks, or the way her lips press together, the way her hands move; how she’s so natural and yet, it still surprises him. He’s amazed by every one of her features and the way she’s so her. He’s aware of his feelings, has been for a while now, and while some of it terrifies him, there’s no opposition, in fact.

Unconditional love. The affirmation in his head that he’s willing to lie and sin for her; to make the impossible. The utter acknowledgment that he’s head over heels for her. And the satisfactory knowledge that she feels the same.

“I need you, Riz. I need your help, please ground me. Teach me how to keep up with my obligations. I need to commit to them or else—“

“Tesoro,” he interrupts kindly, his hand reaching out to her, softly grasping her arm; the warmth feeling his skin transmits her making (Y/n) realize how distressed she is. The way he looks at her, one she only sees when he looks at her. It makes a warm feeling spread through her chest and her muscles relax with the afterglow of the intensity of his love and passion for her.

“You need to forgive yourself.” There’s a sense that maybe, and you assume it for his past, that he may have said this to himself some time ago, or maybe, with the recent losses of the team, maybe he was trying to make YOU stronger than him. Knowing him, there was no way he was forgiving himself for what happened to them. You could almost hear him say “The living must resolve conflicts with the living, not with the dead.”

You look worriedly at him, finding in his eyes the affirmation to your thoughts and inevitably feeling a pang of pain in your chest.

“We need to forgive ourselves.” You whisper and your voice sounds so tiny you almost feel like your words don’t hold strength but Risotto purses his lips together, nodding in the process.

“You’re right. But right now, let me help you; let’s… Heal together.”

You nod, bringing his hand to your mouth to kiss his knuckles and he shifts, wrapping himself around you, adding in a quiet, calm voice that soothes you. “For a long time, I forced myself to work on every mission and report, trying to ignore other things.” He pauses to clear his throat. “What I’m trying to say, (Y/n), is that committing to things and overworking are divided by a small line. Committing means knowing how to make things in time and form; overworking doesn’t respect this. Committing to things is based around the pleasure of being able to go to sleep knowing you have a part of the work done, and aware that you can finish it by tomorrow. However, if there’s a deadline, you commit to it, and work fast but make things right so you can have the satisfaction of going to sleep knowing you did your part. Committing has a correlation with your own dreams or the paycheck at the end of the month, if you want to think about it like that. The keyword to committing is satisfaction and resolve. It’s no easy to find both always, for certain circumstances can make you lose resolve, or straight out kill your interest.”

You listen intently, nodding every now and then even if you know he’s no watching you all the time, but finding comfort in the action.

“In the end, the first step to solve this, is finding motivation —and in the long term, keeping that motivation so you can get more things done, maybe even adding a few interests. In the end tesoro, you and I will make this together.”

You feel your chest tighten as you look from the city and the lights as the cars pass by, blinking back tears as you whisper back. “Thank you, Riz.”

Risotto hums and his voice rumbles through his chest. You lean against him, finally feeling that spark of motivation inside you. “You know, I miss working with you.”

Risotto circles your shoulders with one arm, “We could try and get some paperwork done before going to bed.”

#star-birthmark #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #fem reader #fem s/o #la squadra di esecuzione #sfw #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na boken #jjba x reader #song fic #jjba vento aureo

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tibbinswrites · 4 years

Note

Hi x could you do #327 for canon destiel please? Btw I love your work, you wright so eloquently x

You’re so sweet! Thank you! Sorry it’s taken me so long. I wasn’t sure what to do for this one, but then I was re-organising my fanfic folder and came across a wip that I’d started ages ago but never got around to making something out of it. And with a little tweaking, seemed to fit the prompt pretty well :D I hope you like it.

I’ve now done prompts for: #1, #2, #4 and #16, #9, #10, #20, #33, #77, #78, #170 (part 1), (part 2), #327 and #502 and I’ve got a possible part 3 of #170 pending. I’m not accepting any more prompts at the moment.

Also, just in case you hadn’t heard already, I’m part of an incredible destiel anthology. Our indegogo page is live here and there are tiers ranging from simply gorgeous PDF copies and all the podfics to beautiful print books and a bunch of other merch like bookmarks and art prints. We’re at an amazing 78% funded already! Check it out.

Warning for mentions of torture (hell flashback)

Enjoy ^_^

Prompt 327: “I could hear you… breathing.”

Dean woke gasping, sweat-soaked and tangled in his sheets. It took him a few seconds to remember where he was, a few more for his eyes to adjust to the near-black, and almost a full minute after that for the thumping of his heart to slow and his breathing to calm.

Just a nightmare.

He was used to waking up like this, but the Déjà vu didn’t make it any easier. Sure, he could joke about it in the daylight, be cavalier or even talk seriously about the fact that his nightmares were a regular occurrence if there was a need, but in the dark, with his dream still blurring the edges of his vision, it was impossible to be anything other than afraid.

When the fear faded as the familiar shapes of his room began to emerge from the gloom, he was left with an even more familiar frustration. He hated that Alastair still had sway over him. The demon had been dead for over ten years but his skin still rippled with cold dread whenever his mind wandered in that particular downwards direction. In some ways Dean had never left Hell, in some ways, Alastair had won and even after all these years, that rankled on him in a way that few things did.

He tried to kick off the sheets but on discovering that they’d wrapped around his ankle had to reach down and yank them from him with his hands, grumbling at the extra inconvenience. He stripped the bed without needing to turn on the light, this was a common enough occurrence that he had the process down. Bare duvet and pillows in one pile, gross bottom sheet, pillow cases and duvet cover in another. According to his blinking alarm clock it was almost five am anyway, he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep tonight. He braced himself and then switched on his bedside lamp, sucking in a breath through his teeth as the too-bright, too-sudden light stabbed into his retinas, ruining his night vision. He squinted for a few moments until he could blink without it feeling like the beginnings of a headache and then set about re-making the bed with fresh sheets, tucking in the corners military-tight, fluffing the pillows before placing them perfectly. When he was done, his bed looked like it had never been slept in.

He dropped the soiled sheets into his hamper and then headed to shower; his skin was oily with drying sweat and as it cooled it only made him shiver, the kind of shaky that travelled through muscles and up into the head, that wouldn’t go away unless he scrubbed off all evidence that anything was wrong.

Once in the bathroom he yanked off his clothes, left them in a damp pile by the door and twisted the shower knob on.

The spray was icy when it when hit him but warmed quickly and soon it was at that perfect temperature just over the line of scalding. He stopped shivering and let the water relax him, making sure to jerk his brain back if it threatened to wander to the reason he was taking a shower at five in the morning, to the clammy hands he still felt the imprints of, the nasal voice, those cold eyes alight with malice, delight at his pain, that face he will never forget.

He took a deep breath to steady himself, his stomach twisting unpleasantly, and almost choked on water.

“Are you thirsty, Dean?” Alastair taunted, holding his head under a spray of liquid. And Dean was, he was parched, he hadn’t had anything to drink in more than twenty years and Hell never let him forget it. So he opened his mouth, because that was the game, and the water burned like acid.

Dean yanked his head back from the spray, spluttering, choking, burning. And it didn’t matter that he knew he was safe, that the water was only not, not actually painful, that he was in the bunker and Sam was just down the hall, he stumbled from the shower, naked and dripping and definitely not clean yet, to hunch over the toilet bowl and retch until his stomach was empty. Of course the acid in his throat didn’t help that particular memory to face but once he was done he felt better. The remainder of his shower was embarrassingly rushed and tepid and he stepped out, rubbed himself with a towel and tried not to think. He brushed his teeth with a little more force than necessary and gargled some mouthwash, all the while avoiding his reflection in the mirror. When he left the bathroom he dressed quickly. There was no point hanging around his room. Staring blankly at a wall wouldn’t exactly help the shadows retreat.

He opened the door to find Cas leaning against the wall opposite. He straightened when he saw Dean, and Dean was tempted to just close the door again. Instead he sighed and stepped out into the chilly hallway.

“Let me guess,” Dean said, trying to hide the tremble in his voice. “Just passing by?”

“No.” Cas said, as blunt as ever. “I felt your distress.”

Well that was embarrassing. He rubbed at the back of his neck before folding his arms. It had been a long time since he’d had a nightmare that bad.

“So you thought you’d just… hang out here?”

“I could hear you… breathing,” Cas said with a slight cough that translated ‘breathing’ into ‘violently throwing up’. “I wasn’t sure I’d be welcome.”

“You wouldn’t’ve been,” was Dean’s immediate response, though some of the unease in his gut had lessened. Seeing Cas there calmed him, and Alastair’s voice retreated back to the box it usually lived in.

Cas nodded like he expected as much. “I figured you were still in my radius nonetheless.”

“Your… what?”

Cas’ lips jumped up at the edges a little, the way they did when Dean showed his ignorance about angels, despite living with one. Dean was still too raw from his nightmare to get pissy about it. It was nice just to see Cas smile.

“My radius. All angels have a—I suppose you could say—calming presence.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, mouth curling into a smirk of his own. “Bullshit.”

Cas shrugged. “It’s mostly only effective on the unconscious,” he paused, fighting another smile, “or the weak-willed.”

“Hey!”

Cas’ laugh was soft, only barely hitting the tiles so it wrapped around the two of them but went no further. Suddenly, Dean felt a little less cold. “Humans tend not to have room for it when they’re awake. Your minds are always so busy that an outside influence is easily disregarded.”

“You sayin’ I don’t have much goin’ on upstairs?” Dean asked, trying to sound offended but knew that the smile on his face was giving him away. God, how could he feel anything other than fond with Cas standing there all straight lines and strong shoulders, his eyes gentle as sunrise? Maybe Cas was right, with Cas taking up more than half his senses, there was just no room left for the fear stuck to him. He felt it slide off and for once, didn’t worry about it coming back.

“No. I’m saying that if it works—if it’s working now—it’s because you’re letting it, because trust me.”

Dean stepped forward, and didn’t think about it too much when he stepped in close and let his hands curve around Cas’ waist to rest at the base of his spine. He dropped his head to rest it in the crook of Cas’ neck and breathed deeply.

“Well that’s true enough,” he murmured.

If Cas was surprised, he didn’t show it. His own arms came up to hold Dean tight and they just stood there. There was no expectation in the embrace, though perhaps there should have been. Nor were there nerves, though there definitely should have been. It was just… easy, in the way that things between them never were. It was comfort and accepting comfort and Dean felt that this moment, while it might not change anything between them, was important. That maybe it wasn’t anything between them that needed to change, but something inside Dean that just had.

And while he wasn’t quite ready to delve head first into it yet, with his bare feet on the icy tile, Cas’ warmth and scent and feeling of home surrounding the rest of him, the remnants of a nightmare trickling from his bloodstream, Dean was pretty sure that Cas wouldn’t have to wait much longer.

#fanfiction #supernatural #spn fanfic #Destiel fanfic #cw torture mention #prompt #writing #TibbinsWrites #desitel fluff

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