#DAMMIT I WANTED HIM 2 LOOK MENACING | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flowercrowngods · 1 year

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nice to meet you, where you been? (steddie tattoo shop au)

🌷 read part 1 here (or on ao3) | T – 2/3 – 12k 🌷

part 2: started with a spark, now we're on fire (| 4.5k)

Eddie spends the entire way home processing what the fuck just happened. Because there’s no way that what he thinks has happened is what actually, truly happened. He’s in such a tango of dazed and freaking out that he can’t even text Chrissy; every time he pulls out his phone to yell at her, the words kind of escape him. It’s frustrating.

What’s even more frustrating is that he has Blank Space stuck in his head. Of all songs, Steve! Of all songs!

Steve. Damn. That really happened, didn’t it?

Steve Harrington with the perfect hair and the perfect smile and the perfect lighting in his stupid perfect tattoo parlour that might not be so horrible on second thought.

Traitor! Eddie curses himself. It is horrible. Just like Steve’s taste in music.

Nice to meet you, where’ve you been — “Fucking dammit!”

A woman tuts when she passes him with a delighted looking child in tow, and while she looks royally pissed off, the kid looks up at Eddie with a hint of wonder and excitement. He grins at the kid and does a little wave, but before they can respond, their mother demands their attention again.

Eddie continues on his way home with a grin on his face that Harrington has nothing to do with. Well, almost nothing, but that’s close enough for Eddie right now.

As if the universe is playing a cosmic joke on him, he opens the door to the apartment he shares with Chrissy only to be assaulted with more Taylor Swift. In fact, just when he got rid of Blank Space playing on loop inside his head, he’s hit with that stupidly upbeat song on full volume from Chrissy’s room.

“Son of a…” he sighs, slamming the door shut to announce his presence.

The only reaction he gets is Chrissy singing along even louder, and Eddie is in such a good mood that he laughs as he walks over to her room.

“So it’s gonna be forever!” she sings — shouts, the menace —, lying on her bed, legs up in the air against the wall, head halfway off the mattress. A shit eating grin on her face because she knows Eddie hates this song, knows he hates everything indie and flowery and minimalist and touched with gentle golden light to match his personality— ah fuck. She totally planned this. All of this!

“I hate you!” Eddie exclaims over the music, but Chrissy doesn’t care, hardly even hears him with how loud she’s singing along — or trying, around her smile. “I hate you, Christine!”

“And you love the game!”

Her arms are flailing now, and she somehow makes even that look good. Eddie huffs and throws himself onto her bed, his legs against the wall right beside Chrissy’s, though he refuses to move his feet along to the cursed song.

She takes his hand and keeps singing, the mattress bouncing underneath them, and Eddie soaks up the whole moment. Chrissy is not metal, far from it, but the chaos is unmatched and that Taylor of it all is so worth it. Just don’t tell Chrissy that.

“So,” she says at last when the song is over and a new one starts, quieter this time, and Eddie doesn’t care enough to know what it is. He’s been around too much indie pop and normal pop music today, it’s enough to last a lifetime. Or at least until the end of the week. “How was your tattoo appointment?”

“It wasn’t a tattoo appointment, I just wanted to go check out this place you refused to shut up about, Christus.”

He lifts their joined hands into the air because he loves the feeling of blood rushing down towards his shoulder, his hands growing cold and then flushed with warmth once he lowers his hands again. Chrissy lets him.

“I hate you, by the way.”

“Why?” she says, and the grin turns into a look of careful worry. “Was he an ass about it?”

“Huh? Oh! No, he was… God, he was perfect about it. And ridiculously golden. And pretty. And, Jesus, I hate him for it. Like, how dare he?”

“How dare he be pretty and kind and accepting and really fucking talented?”

“Yeah!” Eddie agrees. “How dare he! He’s got all that, and for what? “ He groans and dramatically throws their joined hands onto the bed again in a pathetic excuse of swooning. “Do you know what he said to me, Chris? It’s nice to meet you, Eddie. Like it’s nothing! Like it’s not my whole entire life that he just… God! And his smile? Like, there’s something real about it now. It was gorgeous in high school, I’ll give him that, but now it’s… It’s like. Like an ‘I’ve seen some shit in life but I choose to be kind about it’ kinda smile. Disgusting! Makes me wanna throw up.”

Chrissy just chuckles and turns properly to face him. “What else?”

Eddie sighs and turns towards her, too, their knees touching, shoving at each other playfully. “He remembered the name. Corroded Coffin. Said, and I quote, it’s a rad fucking name.”

“So, obviously, you’re in love now.”

“Obviously!” he exclaims, followed with another dramatic sigh, throwing his arm across his face to hide his misery from the world. “How dare he?”

“I don’t know,” Chrissy says, playing with the fingers of the hand thrown across his face.

“He called me a wild card,” Eddie continues, quieter now, a smile on his lips. “Remembered me from high school and all he had to say is, fucking wild card you were. Not the… The girl stuff. Or the name stuff. Just. Just a wild card. Chrissy. Like somehow, to Steeeve Harrington, it’s all just… Like it’s all just whatever. But in the good way. God, I’m not even making sense. I want to punch him in his stupid face.”

“With your lips?”

“And tongue!”

Chrissy laughs gently and continues to play with Eddie’s hair while he hangs off his thoughts of Steve. It’s still so fucking wild, so fucking unbelievable. Everything about today just leaves Eddie with a feeling he’s not entirely familiar with. It tingles in his arms, in his chest, flutters there for a second before moving to his head, to his thoughts.

And then he’s thinking about Steve. About taking his hand and making him smile again, about bullying him for his music taste before dancing with him to The 1975 or some shit.

Steve is probably the kind of person who listens to Sweater Weather unironically. Ridiculous man.

Eddie can’t wait to see him again.

~*~

Tuesday can’t arrive quickly enough for Eddie. He’s been extra jittery all week, going on Chrissy’s last nerve and even all those extra ones she reserves only for him. She rolls her eyes with exasperated fondness and kisses his cheek before shoving him into the wall or smushing his face into her, his, their pillows. Eddie just laughs and grumbles and tackles her right back, pretending he stands a chance against his jocky best friend.

She even lets him win sometimes. That’s how he knows that she knows that he’s got it bad. He makes a mental note to get her some flowers tomorrow, or stock up on her safe foods secretly for her to discover at some point when she won’t pester him about his little crush.

And it’s not a crush. It’s just that no one will listen to reason — not even the butterflies that seem so insistent to stay inside his stomach and bug him, quite literally, all the way down the street to Steve’s shop. Only now does he read the sign above the door and frowns a little.

Ink-redible Dingus

Eddie snorts, a bit bewildered, a lot amused, an even lotter really kind of endeared. Silly man. Really hot silly man. Absolutely kind, pretty awesome, totally sweet, kind of golden Really Hot Silly Man.

Jesus, get a fucking grip, Munson. Incidentally, the grip comes the moment he opens the door and hears another indie pop or whatever-song assaulting his ears. Sounds a lot like The Neighbourhood, and he’s ready to hate crime Chrissy the second he’s out of here for making him even know that shit, let alone recognise it. He wouldn’t put it past her to send Steve her playlist actually, just to torment Eddie. Steve would, he thinks. Oh, he definitely would.

He huffs, smiling before the door even falls shut behind him, and Steve whirls around from where he was pouring over his iPad.

“Eddie!”

Steve sounds surprised. Happy. Excited. But Eddie is a little bit stuck on the surprised part, on the way Steve gets up immediately, his eyes wide, his smile wider, and he briefly considers turning on his heel and leaving the country, because this can only end horribly. He would do unspeakable things if it makes Steve smile at him like this.

But, apparently, all it takes is for him to actually show up.

“Don’t tell me you forget about our little—“ Don’t say date! “—appointment, Harrington.” He tuts dramatically, ignoring the way his heart beats inside his throat or the way his own lips are tucking up into a smile before he can stop them.

Steve comes to a stop in front of him, shoves his hands into his pockets and has the gall to give him a sheepish little look that does not at all quench Eddie’s desire to punch him in the dace with his lips.

“I didn’t forget,” Steve starts, a bit hesitant in the way he doesn’t really meet Eddie’s eyes. “I was a little worried, actually. That I had somehow, like… Offended you? Said something wrong, I don’t know. I’m very good at that, you know, saying the wrong thing.”

Eddie stares at him for a second, fully aware that he’s blinking a bit owlishly, but he shall not be blamed, because… Steve can’t be serious. He can’t be serious. Can he be serious?

“What?” Steve asks after a second of Eddie’s staring, and he blinks out of it quickly, tries to go for nonchalant and runs his hand along the wooden counter instead of reaching for Steve.

“I hope you’re kidding, Harrington, because it would be pretty idiotic if you weren’t.” He shrugs and then finally looks up, earnestly. “You didn’t say anything wrong, Stevie. In fact, you were kinda perfect, actually.”

Two seconds is exactly how long it takes Eddie to realise just what exactly he just said, and then there he is, blushing profusely in the most polished tattoo parlour he’s ever set foot in. Twice.

But Steve is grinning, the kind that makes his eyes crinkle and breathe deeply, like there’s a laugh ready to bubble out of him any second now. It’s almost worth the humiliation of telling him he’s perfect.

“Glad to hear that, man,” is all he says, but Eddie knows he wants to say more. Wants to tease. It’s written in the dimples on his cheeks, in the line of his shoulders or the way he shoves his hands even deeper into his light blue jeans. Eddie almost wants him to tease. Wants to flirt. Wants to get the feeling that Steve reserves his grin for his eyes only, wants to experience the Harrington Charm just one more time.

Wants to travel back in time to his teenage self explain to them that he’ll be fine, everything will be fine, and Steve Harrington will flirt with you in his stupid tattoo shop ten years down the line, wearing a silly pair of bright blue jeans and a yellow sweater vest over a white shirt in a way that shouldn’t look good, but he pulls it off somehow. Oh, and there will be a ridiculous amount of soft pop music. Because of course.

“Anyway, I, uh, I’m glad you came.” Hang on for just one second, is Steve blushing?

Oh shit, he is blushing. Eddie’s going to faint. Die. Be slain. Lain to rest. Because Steve Harrington is blushing at him.

“Of course,” Eddie says lamely, and then there’s silence between them for a moment, a heaviness in the air between them that Eddie can’t quite make sense of. Not that he’s particularly trying to make sense of it, not with the way Steve is still blushing, looking anywhere but at him.

It’s kind of cute. Makes Eddie aware of the picture they’re making: Himself in his black ripped jeans and Metallica shirt, a black denim jacket adorned with patches of really old bands, good old classic metal ones. Steve, on the other hand, the polar opposite of Eddie’s all-black look. He’s preppy, colourful, really fucking bright in a way Eddie can’t quite but his finger on, and his hair once again makes Eddie want to reach out and run his fingers through it. It’s almost golden in the way it catches the light, and Eddie both loves and hates that it wasn’t a lie his brain told him last week, Steve really is golden in this kind of light.

Disgusting.

He wants to hold him forever.

“So, uh,” Steve catches himself at some point, fumbling a bit, and Eddie just watches him for a bit, inclining his head like that will reveal more of Steve to him, like it will make him look up again.

It does. Eddie’s heart is doing several somersaults at the way Steve falters with a half-smile on his lips.

“Yeah, uh, what kinda tattoo are we thinking? I don’t mind doing it right now if you have, like, an idea or something, or we could brainstorm and do a few designs? I don’t have another costumer coming up for today, so…” Steve trails off and shrugs, makes it looks so casual and nonchalant that Eddie can’t really believe he’s real. “I’ve got time, is what I’m saying.”

“Uh,” Eddie says intelligently. They’re both really on their a-game today, huh? But the thing is, Eddie has given this a lot of thought. Just, well, not as many words. “I’m thinking weird. I’m ready to enter my Weird Era.”

It’s a test, of sorts. Make Steve Harrington be weird, unhinged, see what’s under that golden pastel shimmer. See what hides behind those crinkling eyes.

Those very same eyes that are now squinting at him. “Is that a Taylor reference? From the one and only Eddie Edward Edwin Munson?”

“Hey, that’s a hate crime actually.”

“What, fake-full naming you?”

“Nah, man, saying I make Taylor references. I’m not a pastel preppy sunshine boy who probably listens to her way too much.”

Steve shakes his head, hiding one of those smiles that makes his eyes crinkle. Eddie wants more of that. It’s a good look on him.

Also, are they flirting? It feels a bit like they’re flirting, but maybe they’re both just weird and compatible in it. Either way, it’s a bit of a win.

“Right, tattoos,” the pastel preppy sunshine boy says before Eddie’s thoughts can travel too far and wax poetic about that smile and sunshine and something something Stevie. “You want it weird?”

“Let’s make it weird, pretty boy!”

Steve just cackles before turning around to grab a black binder. Eddie watches with interest, because the last thing a pretty boy should be doing when a weirdo requests weirdness from him is to turn around and grab a binder labelled Upside Down. It’s full of— oh.

Oh yes. This is the kind of weirdness that Eddie’s talking about! Funky lines all over the place in a way that would make Picasso green in the face with jealousy. Monsters and mushrooms with too many eyes, skulls and anatomically morphed hearts with leaves growing or weird slime flowing out of them. They’re uncanny. Tarot cards with a touch of horror to them. Disintegrating ands holding weirdly detailed, realistic cigarettes.

Steve Harrington is a Weirdo!

He is also, most definitely, queer. No straight guy looks like this and draws like that, Eddie decides.

“Most people bring their own designs, obviously, and not everyone is on the… the supernatural kinda grind, but most of these are actually some wanna-do’s of mine. Kinda itching to eternalise those.”

Eddie is quiet, staring at the designs, and maybe he’s taking too long without moving on to the next page, maybe he’s too quiet for too long, but Steve seems to take his silence for bewilderment. Confusion. Disgust, probably. Rejection, definitely.

“We don’t have to do them, it’s, uh, I know they’re weird, it’s totally cool if it’s not your kind of—“

“I need all of these, actually,” Eddie interrupts Steve’s rambles.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Eddie snorts, going back a few pages to the design that caught his eye the most and instantly. “Imagine how I’m feeling here. Steve Harrington, preppy pastel guy, the most normie to ever norm, everyone’s high school sweetheart, is secretly a weirdo. It’s a lot to take in, man.”

Steve snickers and crosses his hands in front of his chest. “So, what, you get to be a weirdo but I can’t?”

“Got it in one, pretty boy.” God, Eddie really should stop calling him that. But he can’t, not when there both being like this and it’s fine, because Steve might be weird but he’s not weirded out. And Eddie is a bit breathless with it.

“That’s so homophobic,” Steve grumbles, and, okay, maybe Eddie’s entire world has just stopped. Because… No. No. No way. Steve being secretly weird and Munson-detected queer was one thing, but him admitting to it in Eddie’s face with that adorable little pout while they’re flirting? Boy, oh boy, that is a whole other thing.

So much so that Eddie drops the binder. But sue him. Holding onto things is a bit overrated when Steve Harrington looks at you with that cheeky grin because he knows what kinda effect he has on you. Because you keep calling him pretty boy. Because he knows.

Oh shit.

“Uh.”

“Yup,” Steve snickers again, crouching down to grab the binder, finding the page Eddie’s been fixated on. “Thought I’d level the playing field a bit, y’know.”

“Sure,” Eddie says, a bit too loud, too cheerful, a bit too delighted at the expression of absolute glee and mirth and mischief on Steve’s face. Gods, he might be a bit in love. “You’re a weirdo.”

“It’s about time you catch up, Eds. Can’t associate with the people that I do without being a bit weird.”

Tell me about your people. Tell me everything. Your entire biography. Their entire biographies. Your thoughts. Your weird, weird design ideas.

They’re approaching dangerous territory of having Eddie put his chin on his hands, kicking his legs and asking Steve all those question with hearts for eyes. But they can’t. He can’t be falling deeper, not yet, not before he got a weird fucking tattoo from the prettiest boy he knows. Even if he has to do it to the tune of some whiny voice from the speakers announcing that ‘This is for Mathilda.’

“So, I’m thinking this one,” he says instead, pointing at the little creature that captivated him from the beginning.

Steve’s eyes light up in an instant, like they’re wont to do. “Oh, excellent choice. It’s Robbie’s favourite, actually, and she made me promise to tell her the very second it gets claimed. It has a name, too, you know? You’ll never guess, though.”

Eddie looks away from Steve and down at the… thing. It looks a bit familiar but he can’t quite recall where he’s seen that before.

“It’s an ofan, or a galgal” Steve explains. “From the book of Ezekiel. An angel, kind of. Most of those angels dubbed biblically accurate aren’t actually from the Christian bible, y’know? Robbie’s Jewish, so she sometimes makes me draw these things with my own twists. See, they don’t actually have that many eyes, nor are they melting or disintegrating,” Steve chuckles, a bit sheepish, and Eddie’s breath gets stuck in his throat. “If you’re bothered by religious imagery on your body, though, we can find something else for you, it’s no biggie.”

Eddie gives him a bit of A Look before pulling down his shirt to reveal the upside down pentagram adorned with a pretty awesome looking devil with his tongue out. He just barely resist the urge to mirror the devil’s face at Steve like he does every time he reveals this tat to an unsuspecting soul.

But Steve just grins and nods.

“And anyway, religion is what you make of it, isn’t it? And if getting that little ofan buddy tattooed so I an lecture people about how saying ‘biblically accurate angel’ is wrong, then it’s a win for everyone, don’t you think?”

They talk about the design for a moment, Steve asking if Eddie wants any changes to it, and the only one he has is for there to be more eyes. Steve grins as he edits it on his iPad, showing Eddie as he works. But Eddie is mostly staring at the way Steve’s hair keeps falling into his eyes. It’s adorable. He hates it.

“Where’d you want it?”

“I was thinking here,” Eddie says and points at the biceps of his right arm, right where his sleeve ends so the ofan will always peek out. “Do I, uh, do I need to take off my shirt?”

“Nah, we’ll just tape the sleeve up, no problem.”

Yeah, he kind of needs to marry this guy and his dignity-saving tape.

And then that’s how Eddie finds himself sitting rather comfortably in an adjacent room. It’s just as clean, the decor just as minimalistic but horrendously tasteful that Eddie sort of wants to lie down on the floor for a moment. It looks very inviting, dark wood and all.

Before he can think about how to explain the want for Floor Time because he’s a bit nervous, he’s having his arm shaved while Steve hums along to yet another Taylor song. Eddie wants to throw up.

“You okay there, Eds?” Steve asks like he knows exactly what his problem is. “You look a little green.”

“I hate you,” he grumbles, no heat behind it. And Steve, the little shit, miraculously makes the music just a touch louder. “I’m getting a discount for this, I hope you know.”

Steve laughs and Eddie is pretty sure the next one is actually a gentle touch, even through the gloves. It make his heart flutter. Good choice for his first tattoo, the little buddy has eight mismatched, slowly melting wings, it can do the fluttering when this is over.

The worst thing is that they keep flirting while Steve inks him, he stops every now and then not only to wipe away ink and blood but also to give Eddie a dead-pan kinda look that Eddie wants to kiss away. Or shove away and tell Steve to focus and not mess up his little angel friend. Steve just huffs.

At some point, Steve gives him a little squishy ball. A fidget toy, because maybe his nerves were showing more than he noticed, and he already has the apology on the tip of his tongue when Steve says, “Helps me sometimes, I figured you could need it.”

“Thanks,” Eddie breathes, squishing and relishing at the feel of it. It does kind of help. “Does it have a name you won’t tell me, too?”

“Nope, only Upside Down tattoos get names.”

“So you’re saying those other designs have names, too?”

A shrug, a wipe, a smile. “Maybe.”

“Weirdo.”

“Pot, kettle.”

“Steve,” Eddie gasps, dramatically. “Are you asking me out on a date, Mr Kettle?”

“Mr Kettle?” An adorable frown appears between those brows and Eddie really is in the kicking feet, giggling territory now. Shit.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head and keep tattooing me, if you will.”

“Diva.”

“Oh, look who’s talking,” Eddie exclaims, utterly delighted, and they both have to take a break then, the flirting a bit too much. Steve laughs, relaxes his hands, and almost shoves him out of the chair, earning another laugh from Eddie.

“Just so you know, Munson, you’re paying extra! You don’t just cost me time, material and creativity, but also all my fucking nerves. See if I’ll ask you out on that date if you keep that up.”

Eddie’s breath hitches, but he’s never been one to know when to leave well enough alone — and apparently, neither is Steve. “Is that a challenge, Harrington?”

A moment passes between them, intense stares getting deeper by the second before Steve sighs and rolls his eyes. “Jesus Christ, I think it is.”

Eddie cackles but vows to behave at least so much so that Steve can continue.

It doesn’t take too long all things considered, 90 minutes and Eddie has a new buddy on his arm. He can’t stop staring at it, really kind of enamoured with Steve’s technique. There are so many details that can only be spotted on second glance, and he can’t wait to see what it looks like when it’s all healed up. But Steve is good. Really, really good.

And Eddie is crushing. Really, really hard.

He wants to stay, he really does, especially since Steve’s closing up in half an hour anyway, and there’s nowhere for him to go, nothing for him to do, because Chrissy won’t be home until ten tonight. But the thing is, if he stays any longer, he’ll actually do something stupid like kissing Steve on his stupid lips or asking him on a date.

He talks big game, but Eddie is a little chicken when it comes to doing the real things.

So he lets Steve clean him up, apply the fancy transparent film to protect the tattoo and support the healing process. The amounts of times Eddie’s been left with plastic wrap or tinfoil, this feels like genuine luxury. Everything abut Steve’s shop kinda does, but not in the tacky manner. More in the I care about your comfort and have the means to provide it kinda way. Eddie’s learning to appreciate that, actually.

Steve doesn’t overcharge him in the end. He pays a fair price for his ofan with the secret name and is ready to turn on his heel and run out of here, the bubble of the tattoo room has burst, they’re back to being Steve and Eddie, not pot and kettle.

But just as he reaches the door, Steve calls for him.

“Hey, Eds? Do you wanna go out some time?”

He blinks, swallows. Thinks he’s dreaming. “Yes,” he says. “Yeah, sure.”

And if they stare at each other for a second too long, smiling, caught in each other’s eyes, well. Then that’s that.

---

tagging: @inmoonywetrust @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @vampireinthesun @ajamlessbaby @momotonescreaming @zerokrox-blog @hotluncheddie @saganarojanaolt

🌷 read part 3 here

#steddie fanfic #steddie #steddie fic #stranger things fic #tattoo shop au #trans eddie munson #uh hi hello to my audience of... nine people :D it only took me a month to update this lmaoo #dio words #my disaster children are back and flirty as ever #sorry if i forgot to tag anyone or y'all dont care kjsfhs have a flower for your troubles 🌷

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sweetfire01 · 9 months

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I was going to just show you a piece of the new story, but then I thought "fuck it, I've got all this other stuff in my drafts" so here's the previews of what I have but haven't finish yet (block author maybe? Idk but I swear some of these drafts are much longer on my notes).

His little brother (Michael regress Lucifer)

Michael watched the sleeping figure hidden under the covers that rose and fell with the rhythm of his breathing, slow and regular. He was fast asleep, protected, safe in the high ranking archangel's room. Like the prodigal son who, returning to his father's home, was welcomed with open arms, so Lucifer had returned to the Celestial Realm. Forgiven. Everything was as it should be. At least most of it. Lucifer rolled over in his sleep, chains jingling in the silence. He was obviously still a demon, so these precautions had to be taken. Two around the ankles, to prevent him from running; two shorter on his wrists, to limit the use of his hands; and the last one around his throat, tying him to the headboard of the bed. This one gave Michael a lot of pain just to look at, his little brother held back like a dangerous beast. He hoped the process of making him an angel again wouldn't take too long.

Lucifer spanking Mammon

"Ow, Lucifer, don't walk so fast, you're breaking my wrist," Mammon was moaning as he was being dragged by his older brother. "Silence. I don't want to hear another word from you." Lucifer hadn't even turned to look at him, continuing to head towards his bedroom. "What? I thought you missed my voice in these da-" "I. Said. Silence!" The words echoed down the hallway of the house. They both had stopped and now the older one was looking him straight in the eye, menacing. "You will only speak when I say so. Understand?" "…yes, I-" "SILENCE! I didn't tell you you could answer. Just nod. Do you understand?" Mammon gulped and nodded quickly. He was really scared of him. This was not the sadistic Lucifer who enjoyed punishing others. This was…the really pissed off Lucifer. Much more frightening and dangerous.

Ch 2 of Daddy!Diavolo

"It's time to get up, sugar. Open your eyes for Daddy" A voice woke you up form your dreams. Was your dad there? "Ugh…Da…da…" Your mouth feels weird, you couldn't articulate the words well. You snapped your eyes open as you woke wide, just to find Diavolo kneeling in front of the bed. You remembered everything that had happened. The adoring look on his face has you flustered again. "Aww, look at you! Too small to talk huh? Alright, dada loves hearing you babble!" You suddenly realized you had something in your mouth and spat it out - it was a pacifier! The action must have looked extremely adorable to the prince, cooing as he pulled you out of the blankets and crib. You kicked your feet weakly, protesting. "Nooo…God…God…" Dammit! Why did you feel this way? You couldn't speak: your tongue, like the rest of your body, felt strangely heavy. "Oohh, would you rather call me Didi? Then, Didi loves hearing you babble!" He hummed, setting you down on the carpet and taking some stuffies from a basket. "Now that you're all rested, are you ready for some playtime?" You wanted to run away.

A scene for Honora Patrem tuam (I think it will be in 2 chapters)

Simeon's voice echoed through the room, the slow dirge that was burrowing into your ears. Especially when this was the seventh time you listened to it. "…et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen" he looked at you with that condescending look, the one reserved for stupid children who knew nothing, the one you weren't. "Dad told you again. Now, it's your turn. Do you think you can do it alone this time?" A groan escaped your lips. You had been kneeling in this position for almost an hour, your legs were starting to really ache and your head, all confused by the Latin, seemed to explode. The angel gently lifted your chin, forcing you to look at him. "I know you're tired, little lamb, and these lessons are too hard for you. But I need you to give it another try, okay?" Another try. You couldn't do it. But you couldn't even really say no to him. He would have taken it as confirmation that you were too young, just a child. And that wasn't what you wanted to hear.

Ch 2 of Touch

"Oh look, RAD Spirit Week is starting in a month. What theme could we use this year? Hm?" he's running his free hand through your hair. "For one day I was thinking something about movies. Could this be fun?". All he gets in response is a simple shrug. "Ooh, don't you like it? So how about Animals? Too trivial maybe?" Still no reaction "Ah, what do you think about a Fairy Tale theme, we could read together some from the human world…" silence "Ahaha, it could be cute, imagine the demon brothers dressed up as princess, I'll definitely have to take some pictures". The brothers. Don't think about them, don't think about them, focus on his hand in your hair "Obviously I won't be able to take you, but you can still help me choosing between the various options. And I'll make sure to take tons of pictures, ok honey?" the kiss on the cheek, the kiss on the cheek, think about that "Hey, is it true that costume parties are very popular in the human world? Have you ever attended any? Maybe you come up with some amazing suggestions" the human world. That's where you can't take it anymore.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #age regression #forced age regression #preview

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k-nayee · 2 months

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CHAPTER 2. LET'S BE HEROS!

❝Don't wait for any hero to save you, become one.❞

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ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

"Zukiiiiiii!"

The fourteen-year-old boy lets out a faint choking noise as you glomp him with a smile, face slowly turning red the longer your cherry scent fills his nose. "__-____!"

Pulling back from the hug, you give him a tiny kiss on the nose. "Hello my cutie Zuki. How was your classes today?"

Izuku could only wheeze in reply.

"Great!" You simply loop your arm through his and continue with the conversation, "I was thinking we could go to the movies tom—"

"Hey Deku!" You both tense at the sudden call. Slowly looking back, fear (him) and irritation (you) fill your bodies.

'Dammit. Not him again...'

Bakugo Katsuki stands before you, the embodiment of arrogance and menace.

You grumble under your breath at the stuck-up little boy.

So full of himself and harmful to those deemed below him, it always amazes you that no one had beat his ass yet for such an attitude.

You surely would have if it weren't for Izuku's constant pleads not to.

"K-kacchan..."

"Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that shit?!"

"Y-yes. Sorry," the greenette recoils with a visible flinch causing Bakugo's Groupie to snicker.

"I saw your little shitty dream job report. Care to explain why you said hero when you don't even have a damned quirk!" Bakugo steps up with a sneer pulling at his lips.

Before he and the bullies could get any closer, you get in the way. "Hey! Back the hell up before somebody get their nuts kicked in again!"

A wince passes over all of their faces.

Bakugo takes a hesitant step back despite the emotion of anger on his face. "Hah?! You still wanna play hero? You really think that little fruit bat quirk can beat me?"

"And you think just because you have a Sparky Sparky Boom Man quirk, Imma bow down? Izuku!" thepoor boy jumps at the sudden call of his name with a skittish y-yes?

"Take this off so I can remind him I'm not one of his little friends."

Turning to the greenette, the rosary connected to the choker around your neck hauntingly glistens in the sunlight as you lean towards him.

The groupie's faces pale once realizing what you wanted, internally wincing at the phantom pains from the first time they 'fucked around and found out' with you.

To this day, they never willingly seek out to bully Izuku on their own. Instead, they wait until Bakugo is around to do so since he (unfortunately) wasn't there to meet Moka.

Only a few know what happens when that specific piece of jewelry is removed.

Despite the tellings, many only find it as a decorative piece and play off the past stories as a hoax or tall tale - queue the Angry Pomeranian™ (he gon learn one day...just wait).

Luckily for the Three Followers, they knew well enough to take your word seriously.

Izuku catches on and immediately throws his arms up in an x as he sputters out a reply. "B-but I can't!"

"Wha-why the hell not?!" It was your turn to sputter, a pout of anger mixed with disappointment painting your features from him not removing it.

"Your mother...she ordered me not to listen to you whenever you suddenly threaten to beat someone up!"

"...."

'Damn...change of plans.'

Looking back over at the smug group of bullies, you hold a fist up and wave it at them like an old man.

"You lucky my mama saved y'all from this ass whooping! Now Imma say this once and one time only: this better be the last time you Tokyo Revengers rejects try to jump Zuki!"

"And why should we listen to you? He's nothing but a quirkless nobody!"

"I don't give a flip if he's BooBoo the Fool! What you're not gonna do is bully him when he's done nothing to you. Now keep on and Imma get my momma to call your mom to tell her what you're doing!"

Bakugo nearly flinches at this, quickly fixing his show of weakness. "Yeah yeah! This shit getting boring anyways. C'mon guys, let's go somewhere else..."

He walks away with a mutter of fucking snitch bitch under his breath as his groupie quickly follows behind with sneers of their own.

"____."

You look over to see Izuku avoiding your eyes with a shy, timid grin. "T-thank you."

Before you can say anything, his expression darkens, replaced by a saddened frown. "But...why..."

"Huh?"

"I said why?" He finally faces you, this time with tears filling his eyes, "why do you still hang out with me knowing I'm a quirkless nobody? Because of me, you're bullied too! I-if you hadn't become my friend you w—"

"Enough!" Your stern voice interjects his rambling. With gentle movements, you grab his hand and began walking towards home.

Moments of silence pass until it's broken by a light laugh- your laugh. He looks over to see you already staring at him with a soft gaze.

"You always ask me why, and my answer will always remain the same: because I love you. I care for you Izuku. It hurts seeing you in pain, especially for something you can't control..."

Ba-dump...

Izuku's eyes widen at your words.

Despite hearing you say the words I love you over the years, this is the first time he's ever heard it so differently, so pure with genuine emotion.

The sound of your voice gets fainter as he actually takes in the sight of you.

The way your lips pull into a soft smile that never seems to go away, even as you speak.

Ba-dump...

The way the wind blows through your hair, bringing the pink cherry blossoms within its strands into a graceful dance.

Ba-dump...

And your eyes.

Your eyes sparkle oh so brightly in the sunlight.

Ba-dump...

A breathless sigh leaves the freckled boy's lips in awe.

Sometimes he can't believe you chose to stand by his side even when there were so many others much worthy.

Seeing your cute fanged smile, Izuku realizes you finished talking and quickly breaks out of the trance with a small smile of his own.

After a few more passing minutes, you finally reach the front yard of your house.

"Well...I guess this is your sto-ack!"

You pull him into a tight hug, head nestled into the crook of his neck. Your intimate action causes his pulse rate to skyrocket.

Speaking of pulse...

It has been a while since you last had some...

With the overwhelming smell of his blood getting the best of you, you step out of the hug with a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry Zuki...but I can't help myself!"

"Huh? What do-ah!" Izuku's confusion is immediately replaced by a flustered exclamation when you lean towards his neck and bite him.

The sharp sting is quickly replaced by the feeling of you sucking on his neck, making him even more flustered.

Face glowing red, he flails his arms with a squawky scream.

"W-WAIT ____!"

═════════════════*˚✿❀༓❀✿＊˚*══════════════════

You walk down the street with bags of groceries in each hand, tired eyes nearly closing from a lack of energy.

Turns out you didn't get enough blood from Izuku and your mother needed a few (a lot) things for tonight's dinner.

'She lucky she's making [favorite food], otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to this.'

That's a lie. You were going regardless if she sent you.

"No stop! You're gonna get yourself killed!"

You lazily glance over at the commotion and see a crowd of civilians and Pro Heroes as they scream and yell around a...glob of snot?

Looking a little closer, you noticed a boy running towards the booger monster while the adults around do nothing.

"Doing all that yelling, but I don't see any action." You release a snort, "Crazy how much the desire of being a hero is making even little kids risk their lives. Couldn't be me."

With a shake of the head, you continue walking, not too worried since All Might will surely appear in a few minutes. 'As always since no one else seems capable'

Mind set on going home, your heart nearly stops at the next words you hear.

"Poor kid. Aldera Junior High, by the looks of it."

'Wait...what? Someone from my school?'

You snap your head over to confirm what the stranger said to be true.

And sure enough, the pure black color of your school uniform is spotted.

But what causes your curiosity to turn into pure unadulterated fear is the sight of a signature head of green hair and mustard yellow backpack you've just seen nearly an hour ago.

'No...it can't be...is that—'

"IZUKU!!" Your panicked scream pierces the air.

Grocery bags long forgotten, you race over to him only to be restrained by a well-meaning bystander. "Hey slow down little lady. You can't go there, it's too dangerous."

"N-no let me go! LET ME GO!" Tried with all your might to break out of his hold, you're unable to.

You claw at the rosary around your neck and fruitlessly yank on it as tears fall. "I have to save him! Please! Please let go!"

Even with all of your pleads and cries, he doesn't comply, forcing you to watch your bestfriend claw at the slime.

"Quick! Save the boy before this thing kills him!"

Your eyes close as people now decide to help, refusing to look when the gooey blob raises its hand to hit Izuku.

You flinch at the sound of a loud impact. 'Zuki...'

"Pros are always risking their lives. That's the true test of a hero! DETRIOT SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!" All Might was there...

A strong wind forces you to cover your face until it finally dies down.

'Zuki!' Is the first thing to enter your mind. You quickly look around and try to locate him.

Anxiety fills you when you can't find him causing your eyes to tear up once again as you fear the worst.

'Calm down ____...he most likely went home that's all. Get the groceries, drop them off at home, and go to his house.'

After a few deep calming breaths, you set off to the plan, ignoring the intrusive thoughts containing a certain mangled and bloodied greenette.

Your body feels numb, moving at a slug pace as you walk with glazed-over eyes.

It wasn't until you were halfway home did a flash of green enter your vision. "...Zuki?"

Almost as if he heard you, he turns and meets your lost gaze.

Izuku straightens, his freckled cheeks flushing as a bright smile settles on his face.

The bags are dropped for the second time today.

"Oh! Hey, ___-"

His words are cut off when you run over and yank him into your body, holding him close despite his flustered cries of shock.

Pulling away, you hold and study every feature on his trembling scarlet red face in fear of him disappearing again.

Getting your fill of it, anger replaces sorrow and fear. A whack is thrown to the back of his head.

"You idiot! What the HELL were you thinking!"

"Listen ____. I-"

"Like I get the hero dream and all," you began to pace while scolding him, "but to run in without a plan whatsoever?!"

Izuku stays quiet to let you rant for a few more minutes before finally interrupting.

"____!"

He grabs you by the arms, green eyes burning with determination as they stare into your own.

"I want to become a hero. So I'm going to UA next year!"

You could only blink at his words. "...Eh?"

"And I want you to come with me. Let's be heroes...together!"

"EH?!"

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projectcaramel · 1 year

Text

Saccharine (1) ~ Satan x F!Reader x Lucifer

“I’ll love you like no one else,” Satan growls in your ear, one of his green-nailed hands seizing on your shoulder, even as you feel a second, gloved hand reach around your waist.

“I’ll give you my everything,” Lucifer murmurs in your other ear, and you can’t help but tremble at the tension in the air.

How did it come to this?

You are the volunteer librarian at RAD, and it isn’t a rare sight to see the Avatar of Wrath in your little domain. He never goes without coming to the library at least once a week, and he usually stays in his favorite, quiet spot in the corner. That’s why it’s a little surprising when he suddenly asks you about something.

“Hey... is there any possibility you have this book?” You look up to see Satan holding up his D.D.D. to reveal the horror novel that just came out a week or two ago—Raveimp.

“I don’t believe so, no,” you reply, getting up from your chair nevertheless. “But I can see if Annis has ordered new stock. Wait just a moment.” You disappear into the storeroom, looking for anything that might have been dropped off that morning, but alas, there is nothing. It is a pity, since you had wanted to read Raveimp too. “Unfortunately, you’re fresh out of luck.”

“Dammit... I knew it was a long shot,” Satan groans, and you slide him a sympathetic smile.

“Calixta Muninn is one of my favorite authors, so it’s a little agonizing to wait for her books.” Satan heatedly agrees with you.

“Did you read Nightmare Ecstasy?” he asks, and you grin.

“How could I not?”

“I actually got a signed copy," Satan replies excitedly, and you nearly jump.

"No shit, really?! You lucky son of a bitch!" Satan laughs while you almost swat him.

"Yeah, she gave it to me as a gift."

"A gift?" you nearly shriek before you suddenly find your eyes meeting those of a rather annoyed Vice-President, and you quickly hide behind your desk, terrified.

“MC, what are you doing?” he sighs as he comes to stand next to his brother, looking down on you as usual in every sense of the phrase.

“My job,” you reply weakly.

“Really.” He sounds unimpressed. “Because it seems to me that you’re hiding from me again.”

“No?”

“I think the better question is why she’s hiding from you,” Satan interjected, sounding a little annoyed.

“That is a good question,” Lucifer muses testily. “Why are you hiding from me, MC? Is there something you’re ashamed of?”

“N-Nothing! You’re just intimidating is all!” you rapidly lie, “I’m a meek librarian!”

“I see. So when I tell you to give me your D.D.D., you’ll meekly obey then?”

“NO!” you burst before you feel your face flush with warmth. You can feel Lucifer’s menacing aura.

“MC, get up right now.” You can feel your death approaching as you achingly slowly stand up and look at the Grim Reaper. “Either give me your D.D.D., or I watch you delete all of them.”

“All of them!” you whine, but Lucifer’s glare shuts you up as you slowly concede to the second option. Maybe you would be able to salvage something if Lucifer only watched over your shoulder.

“Keep in mind...” You flinch as you realize how close Lucifer is to you. “If I find out about another one, a warning isn��t the only thing you’re getting.” You swallow as you tap open your file system and select each one. You can feel Satan watching too, wondering what on earth you have saved on your D.D.D. that Lucifer is so agitated about.

“Please just this one,” you plead, looking back at the black-haired menace as your finger lingers on the one titled The King’s Pride. To your dismay, he selects it for you and deletes your hard work with a single moment, leaving you withering. “2 months worth of fiction... gone! Crook! Bully! Sadist!”

“I don’t care,” he replies before he grips your shoulder with a bruising intensity. “Don’t do it again.”

“But Diavolo said he was fine with it!” you complain.

“Don’t,” he repeats, this time menacingly close to your ear. “do it again.”

With that said, Lucifer walks away, leaving you alone with Satan again.

“So you’re the DiaLuci fanfic writer he was ranting about,” Satan says, and you watch an evil smile rapidly widen across his face. “What do you say you and I make a deal?”

Next >>

#obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me!#obey me shall we date #romance #fanfiction #books #writing #lucifer x reader #satan x reader #stories

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sleepless-translation · 2 years

Text

Phantom Troupe Drama CD English Translation-Track 10&11

CD : HUNTER×HUNTER～Next Episode Scene 3 幻影旅団 (Link)

Track 10. 誘惑の悪魔の右手 “Devil’s right hand of temptation” starts at 35.15

Track 11. 自意識過剰なチカン騒ぎ? “Overly self conscious pervert incident?” starts at 38.46

Disclaimer:

This is a fun bonus content from the 1999 anime that I decided to translate because I want others to enjoy it too (´꒳`)♡ Do note that some of the characters might act in an unusual comedic manner. TW: This one has non consensual touching mentioned.

Summary:

These two scenes take place when half of the troupe is riding the train to look for the chain user, where a dispute happens twice in a row! Wait… who’s the culprit again?

10.

[Nobunaga] Why is the Phantom Troupe riding a friggin’ train?

[Shizuku] Because boss isn’t interested in a car that can hold six people.

[Machi] Plus, we're out of gas.

[Pakunoda] Stop complaining. There’s no traffic jam by train, and it’s convenient to go around the city. Right, Boss?

[Chrollo] Hm? Ah, yeah..Hahaha...

[Nobunaga] That was shrill.

[Machi] His laugh is unusual.

[Pakunoda] Boss..?

[Machi] To begin with, won’t it be better to run if we’re in a hurr- … What is it, Shizuku?

[Shizuku] I’ve been touched.

[Machi] What?

[Shizuku] Someone had touched my butt.

[Machi] A groper?

[Shizuku] it would seem so.

[Machi] What a jerk. I never thought the Phantom Troupe would have to deal with a groper.

[Shizuku] Don’t worry, we’ll catch him.

[Machi] Paku.

[Pakunoda] I heard everything. Let’s catch him together in the count of 3.

[Machi] Okay. 3, 2, 1, go!

*Hyah*

[Machi] Huh?

[Shizuku] Did you get him?

[Pakunoda] We did, but…

[Machi] What the hell…Kortopi?!

[Shizuku] The groper is… Kortopi?

[Nobunaga] Hey, what’s going on? What do you mean by groper?

[Machi] Apparently Kortopi touched Shizuku’s butt.

[Chrollo] Is that true, Shizuku?

[Shizuku] Yes.

[Chrollo] Kortopi, did you touch Shizuku's pretty and cute butt?

[Pakunoda] Did he just say pretty…and cute..?

[Kortopi] Maybe I did.

[Machi] Grr. What do you mean by “maybe”?! What Paku and I got a hold of is your right arm, isn’t it?

[Kortopi] It is, without a doubt, mine. But…

[Shizuku] But..?

[Kortopi] It’s the Devil's right hand doing.

[Pakunoda] Are you saying it’s your nen ability’s fault?

[Kortopi] Yeah. My hand moves on its own, towards the temptation in front of it.

[Machi] Hmm? That’s your excuse?

[Kortopi] Mhm.

[Shizuku] So it was your ability that caused it.

[Pakunoda] That’s not a problem, then.

[Kortopi] Mhm~

[Machi, Shizuku, paku] As if!

[Machi] Shut it and give me your right arm! I'll cut it off.

[Kortopi] Eek!

[Chrollo] Wait. Calm down, you three. Let me handle this one.

[Shizuku] If the Boss says so.

[Machi] No other choice.

[Chrollo] Well, there’s no doubt it happened. So, Kortopi…How was it?

[Kortopi] "How”..?

[Nobunaga] Boss is asking how it felt like, Kortopi-kun.

[Kortopi] Umm. It was soft.

[Chrollo] Hm~Hm ~ so it was soft…

[Nobunaga] “For example, what would you compare it to?” is what Boss is going to ask.

[Kortopi] Hmm. Gummy bear?

[Chrollo] I see. Soft like gummy bears...

[Nobunaga] Alright. There’s one thing left.

*menacing music*

[Machi] What…

[Nobunaga] Ah, you got it all wrong. Boss is just investigating. Right, Boss?!

[Chrollo] Y-yeah. I meant no disrespec-

[Machi, Shizuku, Paku] Die! all three of you!

*Kapow*

════════ End of track ════════

11.

[Machi] Dammit. Men are all the same

[Shizuku] Now, now. What’s done is done.

[Machi] Weren’t you the victim?!

[Pakunoda] Yeah. You have to be firm about these things.

...

[Machi] Paku?

[Shizuku] What’s wrong?

[Pakunoda] N-No. It’s nothing.

[Shizuku] Okay then.

*Badump badump* *Jazz music playing*

[Pakunoda] Someone touched me. Did Boss…touch my butt? Even though we already went through this thing earlier. if it really was him…No. I can’t. I’m not that kind of person. But, if it were to happen somewhere else. I-

[Machi] Paku?

[Pakunoda] Right. If only he had told me about it properly, I would have- Quarrels between troupe members are, in fact, prohibited. I wonder if the same goes for romantic affairs…

[Machi] Paku!

[Pakunoda] Huh? What?

[Shizuku] You were spacing out, like you were lost in your own world.

[Pakunoda] I-is that so? I’m just a little tired.

[Shizuku] Is it your age?

[Machi] Shizuku! Don’t talk about Paku’s age.

[Pakunoda] That’s true. At my age, it’s about time I got married.

[Chrollo] Don’t say that. I still need you to work for me, you know.

[Pakunoda] Boss…Thank you very much. Hm? Huh?

[Chrollo] What's wrong?

[Pakunoda] Both your hands are on my shoulders..so, this is…

[Nobunaga] Huh? What is it, Paku? What are you doing with my Katana?

[Pakunoda] Boss’s hand is…Nobunaga’s Katana? Nobunaga..?!

*Paku’s mental breakdown*

[Machi] Paku?

[Shizuku] She said “katana…”

[Machi] Nobunaga, what did you do to Paku?

[Nobunaga] N-No. No. Machi, wait. Listen. I didn't do anything!

[Shizuku] But, she kept saying “Nobunaga, Nobunaga…”

[Nobunaga] Hey, Paku. Say something! I'm innocent. I'm being wrongfully accused here!

[Machi] Nobunaga, did you…

[Shizuku] Grope…?

[Nobunaga] Of course not! Even If I did, it wouldn’t have been Paku!

════════ End of track ════════

TL Notes & Commentary:

Fun fact: Kortopi’s ability (Kami no Hidarite Akuma no Migite) is also the title of a horror manga series from 1986.

#hunter x hunter #hxh 1999 #phantom troupe #genei ryodan #chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #pakunoda #kortopi #hxh shizuku #hxh machi #hxh nobunaga #hxh drama cd #translation #english translation

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azertyrobaz · 9 months

Text

Satellites (4/7)

What if Grogu hadn’t returned to Din in The Book of Boba Fett? What if he hadn’t been given a choice? – Modern AU setting: Grogu is now twelve, and he has to rely on his memories as a young child to track down the person who changed his life. The only person he knows who will be able to protect him from the bad man. The bad man who precipitated his separation from the only family he’s ever known. He embarks on a road trip to piece together his past, and reconnect with the people who might help him find his family again.

Read below or on ao3.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

************

“What’s 648 plus 1257?”

“1905!” Grogu answered almost immediately.

“Correct!” his dad replied, after checking the calculator. “7845 minus 332?”

“7513, easy.”

The man chuckled, keeping one eye on the road, and one eye on the small screen of the plastic calculator he’d bought for cheap at a gas station. Grogu loved playing that game with him. It helped pass the time in the car.

“Alright, get ready, this is getting more difficult: what’s 128 multiplied by 41?”

Grogu had to think a little more about that one. Ahsoka had given him a book that he loved and which explained how to see the numbers in his mind even more clearly. It was called the Trachtenberg system, a name he couldn’t hope to pronounce out loud but looked fancy on the cover.

“5248,” he eventually said, completely certain. “The square root is 72 and a bit.”

“God dammit!” his father exclaimed, slapping the steering wheel, and the boy grew slightly fearful. Had he done something wrong?

“Hey, it’s okay,” the man quickly reassured him, his tone turning softer immediately. “I’m not mad at you, you did good. More than good, you did amazing.”

Grogu beamed – praise coming from his dad always felt like a warm blanket enveloping him.

“You’re very special, kid. We’re gonna find that place you belong and they’re gonna take real good care of you, I promise.”

The child looked down, but nodded. This was for the best.

Grogu opened his eyes. He hadn’t meant to close them. They were still driving. Reaching Bo-Katan’s house had turned into quite the journey. Ahsoka hadn’t admitted yet that they were lost, but this was the third time they passed that sign advertising whale watching tours and they both knew it.

At least she hadn’t said anything about his outburst earlier and hadn’t questioned his simple ‘Let’s go,’ when he’d rejoined her in the car after his dramatic exit. They’d stopped at a rest area for a stale sandwich and burnt coffee – she’d run out of the good one in her thermos – then had exited the highway and were now trying to find the correct road.

“You sure you’ve been here before?” he asked, thinking he’d remained silent long enough.

“Yes,” Ahsoka replied with a sigh. “But it wasn’t in the middle of the night. It’s somewhere along the coast north of here.”

Grogu could hear the ocean when he opened his window, but it was so dark that the Pacific remained invisible. Just a black shape out there. Immense and menacing despite what its name suggested. They might reach Canada at this rate if they weren’t careful. He didn’t exactly look forward to seeing Bo-Katan anyway. Now that there was an actual possibility to see his dad, and soon, he’d grown weary and uncertain.

Would he even want to see him? Had he changed his mind after six years? Or would he try to ditch him at the first opportunity? Grogu closed his eyes again. No matter what, he knew he would at least help regarding Moff Gideon. And then… And then he’d go back to the institute, probably. And do whatever they thought he should do. Going to Sorgan was a nice prospect, but he didn’t think he belonged there – that wasn’t his place. His place was the institute, and that’s where his father had told him to go.

“You were at a school like the institute when you were my age, right?” he asked, facing the window and not seeing Ahsoka’s stunned reaction. “When did you leave?”

“I was a bit older than you,” she said. The words coming surprisingly easily. “But not that much older.”

“And you still think it was the right decision?”

“Yes, that place wasn’t for me. Or at least, it wasn’t for me anymore.”

Grogu hummed. He appreciated the fact that she wasn’t trying to sell him a lie.

“It wasn’t easy, though,” she warned him. “Outside.”

“It isn’t easy inside. I don’t really know what people want from me anymore.”

“Well, what do you want?” she asked, sounding interested as she made yet another random turn at a crossroads.

“Me? I want to become an astronaut.” Ahsoka laughed. “I’m serious!”

“I’m not laughing at you, I think it’s great!”

Grogu looked at her – she seemed to be telling the truth. He wondered if it was such a good idea to talk about this with her, but then who else could he share it with?

“I don’t think that’s what they expect from me, though. Some of the other kids say I should just be grateful I got accepted in all those programs and I do still like math and everything but… Well, it’s not really fun anymore, you know?”

It had been so easy at the beginning. And pleasing his teachers had been rewarding in its own way. Deep down, he had thought it would matter in the long run – if he was the smartest kid out there, they’d let him do whatever he wanted. They’d let him go back to his dad once they had taught him enough. But it didn’t work like that. And there was always one more thing he needed to learn. One more thing he needed to prove.

“I know. And I’m really sorry, I thought it would be different for you and now I feel like I forced you into it.”

He was still angry at her for preventing his dad from seeing him when he visited, but it would be wrong to lay all the blame at her feet, and he was glad to hear her acknowledge it at least – he didn’t think professor Skywalker would ever admit to being wrong about anything ever. Though maybe he was wrong there too. Maybe it was just easier to sulk. Hell, he probably deserved to sulk for a bit longer.

“You didn’t, not really, my dad wanted me to go too, and… It was cool, at first. And I liked that people were happy. And I guess it’s nice to be good at something. But that doesn’t mean I want to do that forever.”

“Being an astronaut definitely sounds better than getting the Fields Medal,” she smiled, and Grogu nodded.

“And I also don’t really want to rush it, you know? I want to take my time. I want – ”

I want to be normal, why can’t I just be normal? Then maybe my dad wouldn’t think my place isn’t with him.

“It took me a while to get where I am now,” Ahsoka admitted. She didn’t remark on the fact that he hadn’t been able to finish his last sentence. “It wasn’t a straight path, far from it, but I don’t regret all the detours I had to take along the way. Well, most of them.”

“What are you now?” Grogu wondered. It was only recently that he’d realized his father worked as a black ops mercenary. Who knew what she was? Probably something quite scary too. Something illegal. And she might not even give him a truthful answer.

“A private investigator,” she replied immediately.

“Oh, that sounds… pretty normal, I guess.”

“I like normal. But you can’t be too normal, or you’d be boring.”

Grogu wondered about that. She might be right. His father wasn’t normal either. Not really. And with him being alive, maybe he’d get a chance to explain things. Maybe they could have a conversation and he could show him that they could be a family again. If he let him. If he didn’t reject him.

“He loved you, Gregory,” Ahsoka interrupted his thoughts – of course she’d known where his mind had been. “In his own way. And I’m sure he still does. It was so clear to see then. And I’m sorry I didn’t pay more attention, but don’t let anyone tell you different.”

It wasn’t the first time he heard those exact words: ‘he loved you in his own way’. Omera had also said that. Peli had used similar terms. But what did it mean? It puzzled him just as much as that other phrase he kept hearing: ‘he didn’t think he was good enough for you.’ What a dumb thing to say! Honestly, the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to tell the man who’d saved him time and time again that he was being stupid. And not stupid as in he couldn’t perform arithmetic computations super quickly like he did. No. Stupid as in stubborn and blind and annoying and –

“It’s Grogu, by the way,” he told Ahsoka to stop himself from thinking too much about his dad. “I don’t really like Gregory.”

“Alright, Gr – Oh, we’re here!” she exclaimed, and braked hard.

Grogu couldn’t see anything. But as they neared the end of a track and he worried they would drive straight into the ocean, he spotted an old building right on the edge of the cliffs. It looked impossibly old and foreboding. The kind of house doomed characters always made the mistake of visiting in horror films.

“Has it always looked that way?” he wondered once the car had stopped. Neither of them had opened their door yet.

“You mean scary, cold, unwelcoming and grand? Yes. It’s been in her family for generations and she’s the only one left.”

“Great,” was Grogu’s answer.

************

It was difficult to figure out whether Bo-Katan was happy to see them or not. Sure, it was just after 3AM and she’d clearly been asleep given her reaction when she’d opened the door, but her and Ahsoka were old friends he’d been told. The house was even more impressive and ancient from inside and Grogu expected some kind of butler or valet to show up any second. It certainly would be nice if someone were to pop up and ask him if he wanted something to eat. A shower. A bed. A chair. Anything, really. He was just so tired.

“And that couldn’t wait until morning?” the red-haired woman grumbled, arms akimbo, once Ahsoka had explained they were looking for his father. “I don’t even know where he is right now, he’s not returning my calls.”

“But he’s alive, right?” Grogu rushed in to say, his exhaustion forgotten. The green eyes that flashed in his direction turned slightly softer. Maybe he wasn’t as good at hiding his feelings as he thought.

“He was still alive as of five months ago, yes,” she replied. “And I would have heard about it if he was dead.”

Grogu nodded – it would have to do.

“I need some tea, let’s go,” she declared with a slow exhale, turning her back on them and expecting them to follow. It was a good thing she was leading the way, because Grogu wasn’t sure he would have been able to find the kitchen on his own.

“This place is massive!” he whispered, admiring the many paintings and tapestries they walked past.

“A massive pain to maintain, you mean,” Bo said, and he tried not feeling too bad for having spoken his thoughts out loud.

The ceiling was so high he wondered how many floors there were. Far too many for one person, that was for sure, and he spied many closed doors on the way – she didn’t need so many rooms, he guessed. Ahsoka had said she was the only one left, and he imagined that meant she had no other family and lived there alone, but Grogu thought it was wiser to shut up and not ask that particular question. He couldn’t really think over the sound of his grumbling stomach anyway. That last sandwich felt like ages ago, and if he wasn’t to sleep then food would have to do to stay awake.

The kitchen was just as grand as he’d expected, the stainless-steel appliances shiny and spotless – there was definitely a butler somewhere, he thought. But Bo-Katan seemed familiar with everything, and was already precisely measuring tea by the time he and Ahsoka had found a spot at the counter. Grogu dropped his backpack at his feet and had to resist the temptation to cross his arms over the table and rest his head. He was certain he’d be asleep in seconds.

“How old are you now?” Bo asked as she poured boiling water over the tea leaves. She hadn’t been looking at either of them, but he assumed she meant him.

“Twelve,” he replied.

“You look younger than that.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I’m small for my age, that’s all.”

“Would you like some soup? I can warm you up some.”

It took Grogu a little while to realize that she wasn’t making fun of him but actually suggesting food, so he nodded.

“It’s really nice,” he thanked her later. The soup was creamy and filling, exactly what he’d needed. She’d also provided toasted bread and butter. He tried not feeling too guilty for having compared her hospitality to Omera’s. She wasn’t a mom – he didn’t think so, at least – but this was still pretty nice of her.

“It’s a family recipe,” she commented, warming her hands over her mug of tea. She’d stayed standing across from them behind the counter. This was her home after all, she could do what she wanted. Even if it made her look more intimidating – but that was probably the point.

“I’ll call Luke,” Ahsoka stated, rising up.

“Could – ”

“Don’t worry, I’ll only tell him that I’m still following you and that you’re safe, nothing else,” she said, squeezing his shoulder on the way out. Grogu nodded, satisfied, even if he’d rather she didn’t say anything at all.

“Is he that bad, this Luke?” Bo asked, looking very serious, and Grogu shook his head with a small smile, feeling immensely better now that he’d eaten.

“He’s my teacher, and he’s not bad really, not at all, it’s just… I prefer him not knowing where I am just yet.”

“You think he won’t like what you’re doing?”

“Well, I did leave without telling anyone where I was going, but I had my reasons.”

“You look about ten, he had reasons to worry,” she added with an arched eyebrow.

“I did manage to get here on my own, I’m not completely helpless,” he countered, grabbing his tea mug for a sip – he burned his tongue, but pretended he was fine.

“Ahsoka found you, she’s the one who drove you here,” Bo remarked. There was no smugness in her tone, she was merely stating facts, but Grogu had a hard time seeing that.

“She only drove me here because she told me you might know where my father is, otherwise I was perfectly fine working things out on my own.”

“Fair enough. More bread?” Grogu’s aggravation slowly evaporated at her statement.

“Yes, please,” he mumbled.

Over more buttered bread, he finally found it in him to ask her about his dad.

“How was he the last time you saw him?”

“Injured.” Grogu’s heart was beating fast. His head pounding. His mouth so dry he wanted to try that tea again. Maybe this conversation was a bad idea.

“How badly?” he asked in a small voice, eyes locked on the mug of tea he didn’t think he should touch anymore, not after the number it did on his tongue the first time.

“Pretty badly,” Bo admitted, and his head rose up. “Relax, like I said earlier, he’s fine as far as I’m aware. He was well on the mend the last time he deigned picking up his phone.”

“Oh,” Grogu sighed in relied. “Alright.”

“You asked me how he was the last time I saw him, not the last time I spoke to him,” she remarked with a small chuckle, and Grogu resisted rolling his eyes. Were they really going to play semantics? Was she that bored in her big empty house? Probably.

“How did he get injured?” he asked next, vowing to word his questions more carefully.

“Djarin always gets injured,” she stated, though again there was no malice there. “But then he’s the best at what he does, and yes it pains me to say it. I’m certainly not that reckless, and I’ve been called worse, let me tell you.”

This didn’t surprise Grogu in the slightest. He’d always known his dad to return from his missions with various scrapes, bruises, cuts or more serious wounds.

“He’d grown too bold, even for him. I guess he reached his limit with that last job we were on together, and I don’t blame him. We’re not getting any younger.”

“What happened?” Grogu asked with a frown – she was both telling him a lot and not saying anything. It was very frustrating.

“S-mines. ‘S’ stands for shrapnel. Those are old-school. Real bastards. One of them got him right in the chest despite his vest,” she described, pressing her palm over her heart to show him.

“That sounds awful.”

“Knocked him out cold. If he hadn’t stepped in we probably wouldn’t have made it out alive, though. It was all thanks to him. But I won’t lie to you and say it wasn’t touch and go for a while, the first medic was miles away from where we were.”

“You said he pulled through, right?” he pressed, doing his best not to imagine the blast and the blood and the pain and failing.

“He’s a tough guy, your dad, but he’ll run out of skin soon if he’s not careful, know what I mean? So I hope my assumption that he dropped out of the game is correct, and that he’s not working with another crew instead.”

And Grogu knew exactly what she meant. More injuries meant more tattoos. For his so-called armor. And more tattoos meant less available skin. But more injuries also meant more pain, and more risk-taking. There was no winning with this. And he hated it.

“What makes you think he quit? You said he’s not returning your calls?” He wanted her to talk about where he might be. His goal was still to find him – learning so much about his work was not something he particularly enjoyed. Not like this at least.

“That last job was almost nine months ago, plenty of time for him to get back on his feet. But every time I call to suggest something, even something small and barely even dangerous, he tells me he’s not ready, or he’s too busy. Busy doing what? And now he’s not even picking up anymore, and because he’s so paranoid, I don’t have an address for him. I know he has a house somewhere, he said so in passing. But all I have is that satellite phone number, nothing else. That’s why I told you earlier I didn’t know where he was: that was the truth.”

There was anger and frustration there, it was plain to hear. And Grogu thought he understood why. It probably had a lot to do with this big, cold, empty house and her desire to leave it. And speaking of houses, he was surprised to hear that his dad had one. It made sense he guessed after all this time, but they’d never had a home, and now he felt nostalgic for something he’d never even experienced before. What did that house look like? Would he like it? He bet it was small. But that was fine. No. Better than fine. That was perfect. They didn’t need a big house. Big houses were spooky. And they seemed to be a lot of work.

“So you’d prefer it if he didn’t quit?” he wondered, deciding not to dwell anymore on that new revelation. Better not to start imagining something he might never even see.

“He’s really good at what he does, Djarin. Yes, he’s too stubborn, but there’s not a lot of people I’d trust with my life. And the others from our regular crew are slowly dropping out as well. Like I said, we’re not getting any younger, but I’m not ready to say goodbye to that life just yet. And I’m not sure your dad is either. He never struck me as someone who could sit still for long.”

He wasn’t sure she was completely right there – but maybe she’d never seen him like he had. Because Grogu had very clear memories of watching his father taking things slow and enjoying it. Tinkering with the Crest. Taking a nap in the sun. Teaching him how to fish. Doodling goofy-looking creatures in his many notebooks. Creatures he’d found equally goofy names for. Mythosaurs. Blurrgs. Mudhorns. Lothcats. Massifs.

Ahsoka chose that moment to rejoin them and he was dying to ask her about her conversation with professor Skywalker – he thought it had lasted too long and part of him started to worry again – but he was growing even more sleepy now that his stomach was full and his head filled with pleasant memories. He was no longer even listening to what the two women were talking about, up until something Bo-Katan said caught his ear.

“He mentioned you, once.”

“What, my dad?” he made sure, sitting up. “What did he say?”

“We were trying to figure out how to get inside a locked room that one time – tricky situation because of a well-timed security program. It took us a while and we got pretty frustrated. He said his kid was smarter than all of us put together, the whole crew, and he would have figured it out in seconds. “

Grogu could almost hear his dad’s voice in his mind saying those words, and he grinned. He wanted to ask her more questions. Had this really been the only time he’d mentioned him? Surely he’d dropped hints regarding his house. Did she have absolutely no idea where it could be? But Ahsoka and her were back to reminiscing some other thing and he didn’t know how to interrupt. He also kept staring at the recliner he could just make out through the French doors separating the kitchen from the next room. Maybe he could lie down for a bit? It was so late, and it wasn’t like he could be on his way anytime soon, address or no address.

He must have been very obvious about it, because Ahsoka was eventually the one who gave him a nod and a small smile, having also noticed the more comfortable looking furniture in the next room. Those kitchen chairs were certainly very stylish, but there was no way to find a cozy spot sitting there. And so he grabbed his backpack and moved next door, as the two women were catching up, and he fell asleep to the memory of a rancor – a fearsome reptilian creature he’d invented with his father, and which had been the star of many a bedtime story in the past. Funny, he hadn’t thought of them in ages.

************

“…it’s not just about that, I heard what you said to him, I think they’re both miserable.”

“And why are we supposed to help them?”

Grogu woke up disoriented and with a crick in his neck. He grumbled and sat up, the last few hours coming back slowly to him.

“Because it’s the right thing to do! They should be together!”

He stopped trying to comb his hair and listened to what Ahsoka and Bo were talking about next door – his watch told him he’d only been asleep for a couple of hours, but they sounded like they were right in the middle of an argument.

“You’re only saying that because you feel guilty for splitting them up in the first place.”

“And you’re refusing to help because you don’t want him to have anything else in his life.”

Grogu frowned – it was hard to make sense of their words but he thought he got the gist of it. And he didn’t like it one bit. Also, it was far too early for this, and he really needed to pee. Who knew where the bathroom was in such a place?

“Djarin is a soldier,” said Bo-Katan. “Always will be. Just because his kid is being a needy brat right now, it won’t make any difference. His place is on a battlefield, far away from here – that’s where he belongs.”

“And where does his kid belong in that scenario?”

“I don’t know, that school of his? Why aren’t you driving him back there already?”

“Luke wants me to, and I understand why, but – ”

“I’m not going back,” said Grogu, bursting into the room – he couldn’t stand it any longer. Bo-Katan’s words didn’t surprise him much, but Ahsoka? She thought he should be taken back to the institute? Was that what she’d been discussing with Luke? “Because Moff Gideon knows I’m there.”

“Moff Gideon?” the two women exclaimed, turning towards him with identical looks of outrage on their faces.

“He’s out?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Does Luke know?”

“Do you think he followed you?”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“Was he alone?”

“Did he hurt you?”

Grogu covered his ears and shook his head – he couldn’t keep up with all their questions. They were moving closer to him, still looking plenty furious.

“I don’t know!” he eventually yelled, thinking that about covered it. “He just showed up and I escaped!”

“But – ”

“ – Moff Gideon?”

“You sure it was him – ”

“You didn’t just make this up because – ”

“No! I didn’t!” Grogu bellowed.

“If he’s out Cara will know,” said Ahsoka.

“Cara’s out of the picture,” Bo informed her.

“Really?”

“Really. I need to assemble my crew, this is important. We can’t risk it, he could pick things up where he left them.”

“We know where some of his associates are, we can start there.”

And now there were ignoring him, both typing away furiously on their phones. Grogu raised his arms in surrender. Now what?

“We need Djarin,” Bo sighed.

“We needed him before that,” Ahsoka pointed out.

“Well, now we actually need him.”

“So where is he?”

“I told you already, I don’t – ”

“Where’s the bathroom? And can I use your landline?” Grogu managed to ask just before they launched into yet another rapid fire exchange, and he followed the directions Bo gave him, abandoning the noisy kitchen with a relieved sigh.

It took him less than ten minutes in total, bathroom break included – that and getting lost upstairs and missing the correct door for the study.

“I know where he is!” he announced triumphantly, stepping into the kitchen again – during this short interlude, they’d still managed to cover the table with maps and scribbled notes, undoubtedly trying to figure out where Moff Gideon was, but none of this mattered anymore: he’d found his dad, all on his own, and he wanted to savor his victory for a few seconds. Needy brat to the rescue.

“Greef Karga gave him a deed for a cabin, and he told me where it was!”

There was only one small hitch.

“So, can either of you drive me back to Nevarro?”

#the mandalorian #grogu #din djarin #ahsoka tano #bo-katan kryze #fanfic #star wars #mandalorian #modern au #angst with a happy ending #found family #my fics

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thatgirlinskullz · 2 years

Text

Obi-Wan Kenobi Ep3 ***SPOILERS***

-- I MEAN IT

-- SPOILER THOUGHTS INCOMING

-- it's gonna be all over the place as per usual

-- spoilers...

-- incoming....

-- in...

--- 3

-- 2

--- 1

-- YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

-------------------------

ohmygod.. that episode.... aaaaaaaaaaaaa my heart. it hurts 😭💔

okay so first of all: baby leia, my precious, i love you! 💖💖💖

umm... where is the Grand Inquisitor? hello?! why didn't they address him at all?! hasn't he been collected? is he all right? is he safe? is he just chilling in a bacta tank?! i need to know!!! please for the love of all that is star wars PLEASE do not retcon Rebels. please (i assume they won't but still, i am scared) 😭

didn't mention this last time but Sung Kang is doing an AMAZING job as the Fifth Brother, imo. i am soooo happy with his performance and presence and ohmy they mad the Fifth Brother cool again!!! YESS!!

also just fyi, even if i may criticize Reva's character for being too impulsive or whatever, i still feel that Moses Ingram is doing a PHENOMENAL job and she is doing what she is supposed to be doing with her performance. so any slander i see about Moses will be reported. we do not stand for racism in this blog!! you may not like the character, which is fine, but please keep in mind that it is a FICTIONAL character that you have a problem with! which has nothing to do with the actor portraying her.

fuck racism and all the racists!!!!

anyywayyy....

who the fuck was voicing Freck?! i felt like i knew the voice.. i thought it was Seth Rogen?! but it's not?! was that Zach Braff?! that's the only name i see in the credits that could have been it. what the fuck. i need to know xD

QUINLAN VOS CONFIRMED ALIVE AND HELPING PEOPLE OHMYGOD THIS IS HUGE!!! you have no idea how happy this makes me!!!

while i may have my issues with Vos, i feel like he was a very good friend of Kenobi, so even just the mention of him makes me happy, and just to see the look on Kenobi's face when he finds out. oh the joy. the hope. i love it!!

also this means that Vos is legit back to the light and he is doing what he can to help the galaxy which just makes me feel a lot of things.. i feel like he's doing it for Ventress.. which.. ugh. my heart 😭😭😭

also HAYDEEENNN 💖💖💖💖😭😭😭💖💖💖

he is back and he is menacing and i love him ohmygod

and that vision of Anakin.. noooooo.. my heart... 😭😭😭

glad they did the voice with James Earl Jones, though, otherwise we would have heard a LOT of complaints... and honestly, the voice is James Earl Jones.

but i do love Hayden's presence. you can see some of his, aka Anakin's mannerisms in there, in the movements, and I LOVE IT

as for the rematch.. oh boy....

that was heartbreaking..

not only do we see Obi-Wan completely traumatized and scared and broken for the first time ever, running away, barely being able to defend himself, Anakin is THERE, he is there and he's angry and he's hurt and he wants Obi-Wan to feel the same pain he felt.. and that just.. breaks my heart. 💔😭

the way he dragged Obi-Wan through the fire.. aaaa. noooo.. dammit.. that hurt so much..😭😭😭😭

but then he just... left?! i guess it's either that he want's to play with him and hurt him emotionally and mentally more, OR it's the good in him that doesn't actually want to hurt him.. idk... but it hurts...

so i guess that wasn't THE rematch... we'll get more...

but damn... this was a hell of a round one...💔

#star wars #sw #kenobi #obi-wan kenobi #kenobi spoilers #obi-wan kenobi spoilers #spoilers #spoiler alert #darth vader #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen #ewan mcgregor #omg this episode hurt #can't wait for more XD

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candles-at-sunset · 2 years

Text

Sunrises with you - Jean Kirstein x Reader - Chapter 2

AN- Hello again! The second chapter was already available on ao3 so I’m posting it on here now! If you haven’t seen chapter 1 yet, I’ll link it below. Hope you enjoy!

Ratings/warnings- Again, this is a slightly more mature fic so no minors please! This chapter may have a small section where its slightly NSFW but nothing major.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

Chapter 2 - Lazy mornings

Despite waking up in Jeans’ arms often, you doubt you will ever get used to this feeling. The warmth that radiates from his chest as your head lays directly over his calm, beating heart. The feeling of his arms around your waist, his gentle breath against your hair, it was all too much to handle sometimes. This morning was no different to usual, except you know Jean is awake, as you can feel his fingers rubbing up and down, softly against your bare waist. My shirt must have rolled up in my sleep, you thought, a blush forming on your cheeks.

You dare not open your eyes, wanting this moment of bliss to last just a tad bit longer. The strokes on your waist didn’t falter, but you could feel Jeans other hand sliding up your side, ghosting across your skin as he tucks some of your hair behind your ears.

“I see you are finally awake then.” Jeans murmurs softly, his morning voice hoarse and rough, scratching your brain in just the right way.

You groan, lifting your head slightly to rub the sleep out of your eyes, resting your hand on his chest, and make eye contact with Jeans own sleepy eyes.

“wh’t time s’it?” You yawn lightly, opening your eyes to see Jean’s own alluring brown eyes watching you. He kept looking for just a second too long, and coughed awkwardly, those honey toned orbs darting across the room.

“Erm, just after 10. I don’t know about you, but I have a class at 12, and I’d prefer it if I wasn’t scolded by your godparent for being late… again.” He slowly lifted himself by placing his elbows on either side of him, moving to upright against your headboard. You fell from his chest, head now resting against his strong, muscular legs, clad in the sweatpants you had stolen a while ago. You turn in the bed, now faced towards the ceiling and looking up at him. God, how can he be so beautiful, so captivating even from this angle. It was unfair, that despite being right there at arm’s reach, he was still so far away. The boundary of being friends heavy against your mind, though you wish you could test it and dare to reach up.

Those boundaries, however, didn’t exist in Jean’s mind, as you could see him lifting his hand to caress your cheek. You close your eyes and hum quietly as you feel his fingers move up and down against your cheek.

Sighing slightly, you reply “I have lunch with my dad at 1, so I don’t need to get up just yet, and you shouldn’t worry too much about Hange. They love you like family so I doubt they would care if you didn’t show up, especially if it was to be with me”. A soft grin appears on your face, as you open your eyes and see that Jean mimics your face, though his smirk looks more menacing.

“Is that so? If you wanted me to stay doll, all you had to do was ask. I know I’m irresistible and you can’t bare to be without me next to you.” He whines dramatically, hand covering his eyes. You laugh lightly, hitting his stomach with the back of your hand. As you do so, you don’t fail to notice how toned and hard his abs are. Dammit control yourself, you mutter in your mind, trying not to let your thoughts linger any longer.

“Shut up, I’m merely implying that I know you aren’t a morning person either and that you would benefit from lying down with me just a little bit longer. If that should mean you miss your lecture, then so be it.” You smile grows wider and you see the cogs in Jean’s head turn at your words, considering your offer. His thinking face always makes you giggle.The ever so slightly scrunched up brows, lips pursed just a bit. You can tell that your words are reaching him, as he inches further down, slowly, until he is lying on his back again, arm opening for you to lay on his chest once again. He groans as he does, obviously not happy that you are the devil on his shoulder, making him give in to his desires.

Not one to miss an opportunity, you lay your head down, hair spilling over him as you get comfortable, and sigh in contentment. His fingers reach up to play with your hair, short nails scratching against your scalp slowly.

Just as you were about to fall back to sleep, the peace you are experiencing is disrupted by the sound of your apartment door slamming open.

“Y/n! You best be awake in there! I brought us McDonald’s breakfast so get your ass out of bed and come talk to me!”

At the sound of Sasha’s voice, you groan annoyingly and lift up from Jeans toned chest and look at him. “Guess we should get up; she’ll only burst into my room and jump on us if we stay in here. I don’t plan on getting in the way of her eating.”

He looks at you in amusement, laughing lightly as he too moves to sit up and get out of bed. You sit at the edge of the bed, lifting your arms above your head to stretch. You can feel Jeans eyes wander down your torso as your shirt rides up to reveal your waist, his attention staying there till you bring your arms back down, waist no longer in sight. With a blush forming on your cheeks, you don’t turn around and make your way over to the door sluggishly.

You hear the bed creak as Jean also gets up, looking on the floor for a shirt he can use. He may be comfortable being around you shirtless, but it was another thing to be like that in front of Sasha, instantly knowing she would just tease him relentlessly.

Seeing that he was ready, you open the door and walk out to the kitchen, Sasha’s gaze lifting from the bag to look towards you fleetingly.

“Finally, I have been dying to eat this since I got it! I got you hash browns and a coffee, so come grab it, I have some details of last night’s date I need to express.” It was when she finished speaking, she noticed Jean come out of your room, her eyes lighting up in a teasing manner. “Well damn y/n, you should’ve told me Jean stayed over, I would have picked something up for him too!” She laughed as Jean flipped her off before walking to the sofa, looking for his shoes.

“Well, I could hardly stay at my place, I don’t want nightmares from being in the same vicinity as you two after a date. Besides I need to go anyway, you actually had perfect timing. Doll face here was trying to convince me to miss my lecture.” He sits on the sofa with a sigh and grabs his shoes to put on.

You sit on the bar stools against the counter and turn to face Jean, “If I remember correctly, you easily gave in so don’t go blaming me Jean-boy” You turn back around to face Sasha, picking up the McDonald’s bag near her. As you reach in to grab your hash browns, a callous, veined hand grabs your wrist to bring up the hash brown to his lips, taking a bite out of it over your shoulder. Snatching your wrist from his grasp, you turn your head to glare at him, and he chuckles at your expression.

“Jean you bastard, you said you didn’t want any!” Huffing, you turn back around, no loner wanting to look at his stupid, pretty face.

He laughs again, giving you a one-armed hug from behind, pressing a kiss to your head. He moves around the counter, giving Sasha a hug too, no kiss on the head though you notice, and makes his way towards the door.

“I’ll buy you food later to make up for it. I really gotta go, I need to shower before leaving so I’ll see you both later, ok?” He dons his jacket and makes eye contact with you, a shit eating grin on his face.

“Yeah, yeah get lost before I make you regret it. And don’t forget to remind Connie that its game night tonight, no doubt he’s forgotten.”

“Hey, I told him this morning! No wait, you’re right, Jean, tell him again, he’s probably already forgotten.” Sasha moves to the sofa, sitting down with a groan and outing her feet on the coffee table.

“Will do guys, see you later!” and with the slam of the door, he’s gone.

You too, move your things to the sofa, bringing your knees to your chest next to Sasha.

Turning towards her, you see she is already looking at you, a teasing smirk directed towards you. “Soooo Jean stayed over, huh? And kissed you on the head? Is there something you aren’t telling me ‘Doll face’” she mocks Jean’s voice for the nickname, laughing as she does so.

You groan loudly, picking up a pillow and covering your face with it.

“I know ok! I don’t understand what’s gotten into him lately, he is so much touchier lately. Not that I’m complaining, but it would be nice to know why. Sasha help me, its becoming so hard to not take him right then and there.” You move the pillow from your face to see her laughing into her hand.

“Y/n honey there is no helping you and him, you two need to figure this out by yourselves. Have you thought of every possibility? And not just the boring ones, I mean have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, he likes you back?” She looks at you with such hope, and all you can do is scoff.

“Sasha there’s no way, you’ve seen him with other people, there’s no way he likes me whilst also galivanting around with a new stranger every week. I can’t even begin to think that and give myself false hope, only for it to come crashing down and causing me a great deal of heartbreak. It’s best that I do nothing and suffer in silence.” You bite into your hash brown, chewing aggressively and Sasha turns fully towards you, her hand resting on the back of the couch.

“Haven’t you noticed that he hasn’t been seen with anyone in like 3 weeks? The man hasn’t so much as flirted with anyone in a while now. And as a raging bisexual, it is very strange behaviour from him” As soon as she’s done talking, you think back over the past few weeks. The more you think, the more you notice that she’s right. You haven’t seen Jean flirt with anyone, even when you’ve been in bars on campus. But that couldn’t possibly mean he likes you, there has to be another explanation.

“Sasha, I know you’re trying to reassure me, but I can guarantee, there must be another perfectly logical explanation. Now can we move on? Talking about this is getting me upset.”

Shaking her head, she signs dramatically, “Fine but only if you decide to give it more thought, ok? Don’t abandon it.”

“Fine, I wont just yet. Now change of subject, what are those details you wanted to go over, and don’t let up, I wanna know everything.” Knowing that once you made up your mind its hard to change it, Sasha gives in and goes in possibly too much detail about how her date with Connie went last night, the thoughts of Jean a distant memory as you squeal and laugh with Sasha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days flew by, nothing really eventful happening. With Jean busy with lectures and you spending every waking moment in the library, you hardly saw each other. Maybe that was a good thing though, as lately, your dreams have taken a certain erm… turn. Maybe it was because of your talk with Sasha, or maybe it was the daydream you had in the café, but the dreams you’ve been having filled to the brim of dirty, lustful scenarios with Jean. Each morning since they started, you’ve felt a small pool of wetness between your thighs. Honestly, it’s a blessing Jean hasn’t being stay over; you couldn’t begin to imagine the embarrassment you would feel.

What had started off as a small crush, has blossomed into full blown, blinding love. He consumed your every thought, every desire. He is the first person you look for in a crowd, the first person you message and always your last, the first one you vent to, the first you reach out to. The very air you breathe, the very addiction you crave. You fell so deeply and so swiftly, that by the time you realised, it was too late. There was no moving on from this feeling, this lifestyle, because you knew that life would not be the same without him and losing him would crumble and drain your whole universe. It scared you, just how much you would be willing to sacrifice just to witness his every breath, every smile. Any release you could find from this feeling was welcomed, and so staying busy and straying from those wicked thoughts was the only way you could cope with the idea of forever being friends and nothing more.

Eventually, the day of Mikasa’s birthday night out arrived, and you still have no idea what to wear. You had been shopping the day before, but there was nothing that caught your eye. Looking into your wardrobe, you groan loudly and flop on your bed, face diving into your pillows.

“Y/n are you ok? That sounded like a hippo having a bad time.” Sasha comes to your door frame, leaning slightly on it with her arms crossed. You turn your head towards her and groan again.

“Sasha, I have nothing to wear, all my clothes just aren’t party like, and nothing feels right.” You lift yourself slightly, just to turn to lie on your back. Huffing, you grab a small cushion and hold it to your chest.

Sasha rolls her eyes and walks over to the bed, sitting on the edge. “What about that black dress you normally wear? That’s always a good fallback.”

“Nah, I’ve worn that too many times now, it’s lost its appeal. I had a look at the mall yesterday and there was nothing. I’ve just come to the conclusion that I have no clothes and will be looking ugly tonight.” You sit up in your bed, holding a pillow to your chest, in a feeble attempt to comfort you.

“Hmmm… give me a second, I think I may have something for you. I bought this outfit ages ago and just never wore it, hold on” As she says this she disappears around out the door and you can hear her rummaging in her closet in the room next to you. Not too long after she left, Sasha came back, holding a pair of trousers and a top.

Sasha holds them up, giving you a better look at them. The top was cropped, possibly coming to just above the waist, and was a gorgeous forest green colour. The sleeves were long in length, the neckline squared and just deep enough that small cleavage would be on show. The black trousers she had brought in were a fake leather in texture, but it doesn’t look like they would cling to you in an uncomfortable way, and they weren’t as shiny as you knew others could be. The look to be high waisted as well, which was a must for you.

Instantly, you fell in love. Jumping out of your bed, you grabbed the items and ran to the bathroom to try them on.

A little while later, you come out the bathroom to show Sasha, who was still in your room, but is now sat on the bed again. Looking up from her phone, her jaw drops as she sees you in the doorway.

“Y/n, that looks incredible! God, you look real sexy in that, damn! I might have to tell Connie to find a new girl!” She laughs as you blush and walk over to the floor length mirror in your room to get another look.

Sasha wasn’t kidding, you looked good. The trousers hugged your curves in all the right places, making your ass look amazing whilst also not being uncomfortably tight on your body. The top was situated just above the waist, leaving a small area of your stomach in view. The neckline came to rest just in the right place, leaving your cleavage to be visible in just the right amount.

Turning to Sasha, you smile widely and say “This is the look. All I need is a necklace and boots and its perfect.”

“I know! I can’t believe I never thought to show it to you before! Keep it girl, I have an outfit in mind for tonight anyway.”

“Thank you, Sasha, you are a life saver. Now shoo, I need to shower, my legs have gotten overly hairy in these winter months, and something needs to be done about it.” Shoving Sasha out your door, she turns to you with a teasing grin plastered on her face.

“Well well miss y/n, I don’t suppose you’re trying to impress anyone tonight, are we?” she wiggles her eyebrows in a suggestive manner, and that only makes you blush deeply. With more force, you push her out as she laughs at your lack of response. Shutting the door, you take a moment to compose yourself and huff dramatically.

Right, time to shower. Taking off your clothes, you lie them on your bed, and don your towel. Walking to the bathroom, you hear Sasha blasting music and singing extremely off key in her room. Laughing to yourself, you enter the bathroom and turn on the shower and shut the bathroom door. Unlocking your phone, you put your shower playlist on full blast and just as you were about to lock it again, you see a message from Jean himself.

Jean-boy <3

Want meand Connie to meet yous at yours? We can get a taxi to the club <3

Smiling to yourself, you reply:

You

Yes please! Theres no way im walking in my boots

Jean-boy <3

Damn it’s a boots night out? Now I know you’ll look good ;)

Reading his last message, you blush profusely, instantly typing back

You

Calm down horseface, I just know heels will hurt more

Jean-boy <3

Sure they are, not at all cos you know they drive me crazy ;))

The redness on your cheeks deepens, if that was even possible. God, how can this man do this to you with simple words?

You

STOP or I wont wear them at all

Jean-boy <3

Ok ok I give, I know youll look good regardless. I cant wait!

Smiling to yourself, you read the message one last time before locking your phone and look into the bathroom mirror, only to see your whole face was bright red.

Tonight is going to be interesting…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN- Thank you for reading! the next chapter will be out within the next few days hopefully and it may be the last one! hope you enjoyed and be sure to leave a like! xx

#jean kirschstein x reader #jean kirschtein imagine #aot #attack on titan #jean kirschtein #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein x you #jean kirschtein fanfiction #jean kirstein imagine #jean kirschtein x you

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killerskillercaptain · 3 years

Text

Peace of mind part 2 / 2

pairing : Levi Ackerman x Reader

word count : 3,206 K

summary : you’re the captain of your own squad, and you have a habit to go spend some time alone in a cabin located near the young recruits quarters. One day, you found Levi there who didn’t mind your company.

themes : deep talks, rain, maybe new beginnings, feelings development (on your side at least), slight interest from Levi’s side if you squint hard enough, life choices, fears, insecurities.

warnings : tw astraphobia (extreme fear of thunder), mentions of death.

You can read part 1 / 2 here

“Oi, why are you leaving? Isn’t this the place you come to for some “peace of mind” ? “Yes, but you’re here now” you replied in a quiet yet steady voice. “And i’m ruining the view for you” ? He asked looking at you nonchalantly. His tone was sarcastic, his eyes pressed you for an answer.

«Looks like it’s going to rain »

When the captain let out these words, it wasn’t long before cold droplets started to spill one after the other, soon the cabin was draped in watery curtains, making you and the captain take a step back to avoid getting soaked.

If you wanted to get back to your quarters, it was already too late for that, as the rain intensified rather quickly, both of you have been a bit too slow to react. But then again, who could have anticipated such a heavy rain in this time of the year.

« Dammit, i think it’s best to wait. We’ll get soaked down to the bone if we walk under this downpour»

You let out a small « yes », both startled and worried by the sudden change in weather. You were rather...uncomfortable being trapped in here with Levi Ackerman even though your mind was running with reprehensible scenarios right now .

Let’s face it, you always had a thing for the man, even if your only interactions with him consisted in you admiring him quietly from afar and frankly, you’d imagined you’d be thrilled by the idea of being stuck alone with the captain, but you were in such a state of unease right now because of the weather that you couldn't really care about that right now, because generally, heavy rain also meant-

Your thoughts were cut abruptly by the mention of your name.

You actually heard your name ?

Levi was facing you, and had just called you by your name. Not in a million years would you have thought he has it registered in his mind. He said it again as to carefully confirm he was not mistaking.

« That’s your name right ? »

«Yes » you let out in a breath, a little confused.

As if he was reading your mind, taking notes of your interrogative expression, he answered your inner pondering.

« I asked your superiors for your name not long ago. You may have heard of the initiative by now, Erwin and i are in the process of creating a special squad that i’ll be leading. Details are still confidential, but i can tell you that i have been granted complete freedom in selecting the members. »

He paused before continuing, focusing on you.

« and you might be in it »

For a moment, you forgot how to breathe and your mind went blank with the new information. You did hear something of the sort, but you did not imagine Levi considering, well, you. You'd imagined you need more than just skills to impress him. You did give your heart and soul to the cause, you chose to be a soldier, you didn't get thrown into it, you also made the conscious effort to be better and more effective on the battlefield. And right now you, were having a hard time believing that your efforts were actually paying off. Levi’s devotion and dedication served as a fuel to your own, and here you were, both of you discussing the possibility of working under his direct orders. You felt your stomach flutter, it was impossible to tell if it was from fear, anticipation or anything else.

You ignored the feeling when Levi broke the silence again.

« I’ve seen your ranking and your score since you enrolled in the Survey Corps. A few years ago your skills weren’t the impressive kind, but with time you managed to outgrow yourself. Forty titans taken down solo and more than thirty taken down in team, now that's impressive, so i went and asked for your name. »

The thought of Levi walking up to your superiors and asking specifically to be given informations about you made you feel a certain type of way you couldn’t quite pinpoint at the moment. He must also have asked Keith Shadis you thought then. That man always held you in high regards, and you were grateful for it. You never caused trouble, you were discret but efficient, you started to convince yourself that you were indeed, worthy of Levi’s interest, additionally, he did like quiet and efficient people.

The cabin was getting extremely cold with each passing minute, and you were still stuck with no sign of the downpour stopping any soon.

You started shivering, you were both in uniforms, with only your military jackets to keep you warm, neither of you brought your cloak.

If he had his cloak with him, would he offer it to you to keep you warm ?

A bright dash of light appeared somewhere far away but close enough to brighten the interior of the cabin.

Lightning ?

Your heart started pounding voraciously in your chest, and you were afraid Levi was about to witness a side of you that you were afraid might change his mind about you. Not noticing your hands that already started trembling, anticipating what’s to come, you swallowed a thick lump, trying to ground yourself on the wooden structure.

Levi seemed to notice the change in your demeanor but brushed it off. You stayed quite the whole time, you didn’t say anything at the news he just handed you.

You tried to pin your attention on the captain and what he just said, you tried to compose an answer to give him, or maybe just keep a thread of conversation going, but when you opened your mouth, a blasting sound echoed all around, followed by menacing vibrations in the air. The start of a thunderstorm, the sound was as if the sky got torn in half and soon enough, a harsh light spilled through and painted the entire scenery white for a second.

Instinctively you pressed your eyes shut at the sound. When you opened them, you were one inch away from Levi, gripping at his clothes for dear life, as if you were afraid to drown in the harsh light.

As if you were afraid to die.

Your fingers digged so hard into Levi's shirt beneath his jacket that you were positive you were leaving marks on his skin. When you realized what you were doing, you quickly backed off, body still shaking and lips starting to quiver.

« I’m so sorry Capt- »

Another thunderous blow tore the sky a second time, and this time you ducked on the ground with your two hands covering your ears, your eyes closed so hard that little watery pearls started forming at their corners.

To you, it seemed like it was going on forever, and then, you heard Levi pronounce those words you hated to hear about yourself.

« You’re afraid of the thunder ? »

Yes, yes you were

As horribly embarrassing, childish and pathetic as it was, you were.

Since you were just a child, the sound of the sky tearing up was something that made you unreasonably vulnerable. But you couldn’t help it, such an irrational fear was beyond your control and you were fortunate that a thunder erupting during a storm wasn't a very common event inside the walls.

In the rare occasions where it did happen, you felt your mind losing its grip on your body.

You didn’t answer Levi, you couldn’t focus on him, you just kept the palm of your hands pressed flat on your ears to try and hear the least possible of what was going on outside. You knew nothing was going to happen to you, you knew your body shouldn’t be trembling in this way, but you couldn’t reach your mind in these moments and ask of it to calm down, and this is what scared you the most.

That’s it. You thought

The only thought that emerged in your mind for a moment was how pathetic of a side you were showing levi at this moment. Just after he confessed he was thinking about you joining forces with him in fighting for humanity, here you were, scared out of your skull, and out of your control by the big scary sound in the sky.

He’s probably gonna review his opinion of you.

He's probably reviewing his opinion of you right now.

He probably thinks your not fit to fight under his orders.

You kill titans by the dozen.

But here you were, scared of the weather

Sitting down, you had brought your knees up against your chest now, ears still covered, you moved your hands a little as the sound seemed to have ceased only to put them back on quickly as the sky screamed and shook again. You had opened your eyes just to close them again in terror. In terror how pathetic.

You didn’t here Levi shift or make a move until you felt the hem of his jacket poking at your forehead. For a second, the sound stopped and you opened your eyes to Levi who took off his military jacket and handed it to you.

« Here, put it over your head, it will muffle the sound »

Out of surprise, and still a bit shocked from your tourment, you mechanically took his jacket and covered your head with it, pressing the fabric over your ears as the sky screamed again. It was working, you felt as if you were underwater, you still heard everything, but it sounded so far that you felt somewhat safe, only then did you realize that Levi did what he did.

He didn’t threw an insult at you telling you to get your act together

Instead, he silently offered some comfort, acknowledging your fear,

Validating your fear.

The hellish concert went on for three minutes. Three long minutes during which the sky threw a tantrum with unrealistic vibrations rippling through the air, as a shrieking wind joined in the outburst.

A lot of things happened during those three minutes, Levi coming to sit next to you on the ground, waiting for the storm to pass, and you getting intoxicated by the scent of the inside of his jacket, Levi’s jacket. This is what Levi smells like. You thought.

You were glad your face was covered as you felt it flush. Sure there was a faint note of sweat, but hey, you were soldiers, and soldiers sweat. But you could also recognize different other scents all converging into something you found extremely pleasing, almost soothing to you; a bit musk and something that resembled a type argan oil, you inhaled in silence, taking it all in shamefully. The feeling of being almost afloat under his jacket, the storm seemingly far away, as if you were cut from reality, only being able to breathe Levi's scent, the thought of him soon consumed you, leaving you feeling light-headed.

It was the closest you had been to Levi, since all these years, working together from afar; since you saw him for the first time when he proved to be everything but someone coming from the underground, both in manners and values, since the time you used to watch him ruffle Isabel Magnolia’s hair and feel that ache in your heart that grew more and more hungry.

When you watched him giving the hardest time to the young recruits

When you watched how loyal he was to Erwin, always present by his side watching over their mentees.

When you watched him from a distance, putting his horses in their stables, and staying a little longer to care about them and give them small gestures of affection

When you watched him sitting alone, by himself sipping his tea, holding his cup in his strange little way.

When you watched him accidentally sleep in the stable, on a bench, on a chair, so many times, while hesitant-and scared- subordinates would shake him shyly to wake him up.

When you watched him, from this cabin.

You liked climbing up this cabin, it was quiet, calm, but mostly, you could watch Levi all day long without him even realizing it.

You liked the cabin because watching Levi from a distance was calming to you.

You liked this cabin because observing Levi put your mind at ease.

When you found him up here, you turned heels as quickly as your heart started thumping on your chest, ready to live right away. You knew, soon enough that it wasn’t mere admiration for a comrade, it was more than that. Observing him from this cabin, you realized you wanted to rest a hand on his shoulder and tell him to go rest, the more you looked at him, the more you wanted to touch him, to feel him. There was so many things you wanted to tell him. Thank you for doing so much, you’re killing yourself go have some rest, thank you for bearing the weight of shielding humanity against its terrors, thank you for devoting your life, please take better care of yourself, we need you, we love.

I love you

Just know you have someone who cares so much for you.

Who wants to be by your side.

So badly.

But never did you approach him enough to have this much of him. Sure, you had your exchange of words and your eyes met on more than one occasion, but it was all wrapped in formalities, it didn’t feel human enough.

This

This feels human,

Him handing you his jacket felt human

You crumbling in front of him in all your pathetic glory was also human.

Now all you could think about or feel was Levi, you chewed on your feelings while trying to imprint in your head the only thing you got from him, this memory.

You suddenly felt a forceful tug, his hand was trying to move the jacket, you released your grip as soon as you realized that he wanted to take it off of you. The thunder had stopped for good, there was no roaring, no blasting echoes anymore. Just the quiet sound of the rain now. You loosened up, stretching your legs in a timid relief, your body trying to adjust to the now foreign calmness.

The captain didn’t say a word, and you stayed quiet as well.

The rain was quietly softening and the air was seemingly less cold, you realized your body had stopped shivering at all.

« I’m so embarrassed you had to see me like this Captain» you confessed broking the silence.

« Don’t be. Every fear has its reasons, even irrational ones »

You really thought humanity’s strongest would be repulsed by such a sight, he required people to be always strong or so you thought, but come to think of it, he always acknowledged human unescapable states like fear, regrets and sorrow., especially when those were almost inevitable on a battlefield. You never seen him dismiss any of those emotions when he witnessed comrades and soldiers experiencing them, even outside off the field.

« Do you...have any fears Levi ? »

You called him by his name, your question had a personal undertone to it that it required you to, or so you thought. And you couldn’t believe you actually had the courage to ask the strongest soldier alive if he feared anything.

« Regrets »

You turned to look at him, he was looking down at his jacket, his white shirt slightly wet from the rain it caught, you felt a little guilty witnessing that. You didn’t have a clue what was on his mind right now, but saying that, Levi was thinking about all the soldiers he lost under his commands, his two only companions he lost because of the choices he made, everything he lost, everything he couldn’t get back and everything he have regretted but decided not to, because he feared that if he’d let those regrets slip into the crevices of his mind, he’d never recover from it.

« I think it has been fairly gossiped about, but i lost my two truest and most loyal companions, i let them choose for themselves even though i wasn’t confident with that decision, it ended up horribly, but it was also my choice. It was my first time outside these walls, and also the last time i saw them alive. I feared regretting all of it, i feared the disappointment with myself was going to swallow me whole, but someone...someone who refused to succumb to their demons taught me once how dangerous it is to surrender to regrets, they can make everything loose its meaning in a blink of an eye. I used to fear sleeping on an empty stomach, i used to fear that stealing and killing would be my only reason to live. Now i fear everyday for my soldiers life, but what i fear the most is the regrets i could have, if you let them overpower you, they can make you believe that everything amounts to nothing.

Putting his palms on the wooden wall behind him, Levi pushed himself up, putting his jacket on, arms sliding slowly into the sleeves you were protecting your ears with just minutes ago.

« That’s why i make the choice, every waking day, not to regret any of my actions »

« So you don’t see me as a weak person ? »

« You killed forty human-eating monsters all by yourself, i don’t call that weak. As long as there is no thunder while you’re killing them i think we’re good »

You chuckled a little, your face already a bit brighter.

« It already happened Captain, and i did just fine, seems like it doesn’t affect me when i’m concentrating on something bigger and more frightening »

He was already heading for the door, your eyes following the black and white wings on the back of his jacket, he stopped just before going down the stairs.

« I’ll see you tomorrow at Erwin’s office for some paperwork regarding your new responsibilities »

You watched his figure disappear like it from your view like it always does, even though you were just been announced you’re gonna be working while being even closer to the threat now, you never felt happier. Yes you will be closer to the danger, but you will also be closer to Levi, hoping you could watch over him and maybe just maybe protect him as a token of your love. Be it from your admiration or your strong feelings, you knew your devotion to him had no boundaries. He wasn’t only humanity’s strongest in spilling blood and cutting flesh, he was also humanity's strongest for having a heart equally as great as his strength, but the world had yet to give him credit for that.

Listening to the creaking of the stairs as he went down, you couldn't help but remember when you found him in the cabin, staring at the sky. “And i’m ruining the view for you” ? He asked

You aren’t ruining the view

You are the view »

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cathsith · 2 years

Text

Okay this is a lot so I'm condensing it

My Little Menace (20 month old) wanted to climb the ladder into the 5 y/o's bunk bed.

5 y/o disapproved and pushed a barricade of blankets and stuffed animals to stop him.

Little Menace plummets 4-5 feet, smashes his head on the wood floor and possibly the baseboard.

Daddy, who was just trying to throw away a dirty diaper, turned just in time to see the fall, possibly traumatizing him forever.

So Much Screaming

LM forehead is swelling impressively, but no vomiting or loss of consciousness

Dr's office suggests going to the ER just to be safe

LM and I are off to the ER

Daddy get to work disassembling the bunk bed

LM is doing pretty well — alert and interested in what's going on

I realize that I remembered 2 stuffed animals, 2 pacifiers, 2 blankies, and a baby pillow but forgot a diaper bag, a stroller, and shoes for the child. Dammit.

We go through triage and settle in to wait

I hear "code silver" over the intercom and idly think about looking that up, but don't

So Much Waiting

No, LM does NOT want to watch Daniel Tiger, thank you very much

The National Guard has people stationed at hospitals to employ health care workers

There are suddenly a few more of them

Cops show up, but this is probably a common occurrence at a city hospital

I've been pacing while carrying a 20 lb toddler as he gets increasingly antsy

I go toward the exit to pace the corridors instead

Huh, the guards and cops are all stationed out there

I tell one guard I was going to just walk the hall but maybe I should not...?

"Yeah, you should probably. Stay inside"

Everything is fine. Obviously 😳

After more waiting, I hear "code silver cleared" and remember that I was going to look that up

HOLY FUCK

Code silver: lockdown/active shooter/person with a weapon/possible hostage situation

Continue waiting while telling myself everything. Is. FINE.

Hey, our turn!

LM is checked out and given a popsicle to see if he'll throw up. He does not.

Head home, holding off the post-emergency-calm panic attack

5 y/o is asleep in his no-longer-a-bunk-bed

And we finally all settle down and go to bed.

Yes, this IS the condensed version

So, yeah. LM's got a big bump and a swollen eye. I was warned that his face would turn all sorts of interesting colors in the next couple of days. 5 y/o isn't really capable of understanding why this was all a really big deal and is insufficiently sorry. Daddy is still in shock. And my arm is killing me from hauling LM around for 3 hours. We're all pretty wrecked. But everyone is okay, so I'm focusing on being grateful.

What a fucking night.

#momlife #what a fucking night #i'm like the thing that wouldn't shut up

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kenobiapologist · 3 years

Text

Star Wars Novel Rankings

In celebration of the end of this year, I made a tier list of all of the Star Wars novels I’ve read since I joined this fandom in 2017 (which you can use to rank these books too). And I named all the tiers in a dorky but appropriate fashion. I would love to hear your thoughts on my rankings, as well as how you’d rank the books yourself! I’ve had a blast reading Star Wars novels from both Disney’s canon and the Legends extended universe over these past 3 years. Here’s to many more years of reading stories from the galaxy far far away!

I put longer (but not more coherent) thoughts below the cut.

The Chosen One: Bringing Balance to the Force and My Depressed Soul

1. The first spot of top tier had to go to Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith novelization for obvious reasons. You simply cannot beat it. It’s a masterpiece. I literally had to put the book down to scream when I read the prose associated with the opening battle over Coruscant. It gave a whole new meaning to the triumphant music and the synchronous twirling of Obi-Wan and Anakin’s starfighters as they weave through blaster-fire in the battle over Coruscant. The rest of the book is the same way. You can’t put it down. I have wAyyYyYy too many feelings about this book oh my god.

2. Thrawn was a surprising book for me. For being centered on an admiral of the Empire’s navy, it had so much heart in it! I loved reading from Eli Vanto’s perspective too. god dammit I love that freaking Wild Space hillbilly dweeb with all my heart. I think his experiences getting to know Thrawn and learning from him guides the reader to feel much the same way as Eli by the end. Thrawn is a trusted friend, not the enemy you expect him to be. I could have done without Arihnda Pryce but she’s supposed to be unlikeable so I won’t blame Timothy Zahn this time.

3. The Clone Wars Gambit duology is basically Karen Miller writing fanfic and I’m HERE FOR IT. As is tradition with Karen Miller’s Star Wars novels, the emotions are dialed up the eleven. Our favorite dumbass Jedi team is back at it again with a mission to save the galaxy and this time they end up going undercover as two lumberjacks from the boonies. Anakin holds an energy shield back from collapsing with his bare hands like a total badass. Obi-Wan is in love with another woman despite it always ending in tragedy, while also bickering like a married couple with Anakin every ten seconds. get a fucking room, you two. These two books inspired one of my fics so they’re near and dear to my heart.

Jedi Master: These Books Have A Seat On The Council Too

4. Wild Space was appropriately named, I’ll tell you that. It’s a wild ride from start to finish. *slaps the front cover* this book can fit so much of Obi-Wan’s suffering in it! @forcearama has elaborated on the many reasons why this book is a gem in Snark Wars blog posts (linked here). It’s also the beginning of the best team-up since Anakin and Obi-Wan...Bail and Obi-Wan! These two bastards get under each other’s skin but it makes for the perfect character development. This book is the reason I screech with delight whenever Bail Organa appears on screen, or is mentioned in conversation. Bail gets a mysterious tip about trouble on a planet, and Obi-Wan decides to go with him to investigate. Cue Sith-induced suffering. It’s cool to see a normal person experiencing the weirdness of Force sensitives and how the world has this extra level of sensory information in it. Plotwise this one isn’t the best, but I think the interactions between characters really shine in this novel. Karen Miller’s writing is like a cup of hot chocolate to me. Indulgent character insight, full of sweet moments, has a bunch of extra marshmallowy dialogue, you’re reading it to have a good time but not to be satisfied with plot. You get me?

5. Do I even have to explain myself here? Kenobi by John Jackson Miller is both an interesting western-style tale set on Tatooine, and a beautiful character study of a man stricken with grief he keeps suppressed. How does one continue on when their whole family was murdered and their whole culture burnt to ash? I wanted to give Obi-Wan a hug the entire time I read this. The characterization was spot-on, from the way he wrangled animals to the way he severed a man’s arm off in a bar with his lightsaber. And when he meets a woman named Annileen Calwell, or Annie for short, Obi-Wan can’t bring himself to call her by her nickname ever and if that doesn’t just break your damn heart fucking fuck.

6. Ahsoka was the first Disney canon book I ever read and it kickstarted my love for E.K. Johnston. The writing is simplistic, but that makes it easy to jump into. Overall, it’s a quick and enjoyable read. By far the best parts are the flashbacks that mull over memories Ahsoka has of the time before Order 66. That shit hits you right in the heart, man. And the part where Ahsoka equates Obi-Wan and Anakin to her adoptive family ohhhhhhh god the tears they flow like a river. There are scenes that allude to Ahsoka becoming the vital part of the Rebellion we know her to be from Rebels, balanced with her current struggles to survive and find herself. Despite having cast away her identity as a Jedi and having any remaining bits of her culture destroyed by Palpatine, Ahsoka shows us all how bright a hero can shine in the darkest of times. AND SHE WAS WRITTEN AS QUEER! finally some good fucking food.

7. Oh shit, another E.K. Johnston book? Don’t be surprised. She’s a prequel fan and so am I, hence why Queen’s Shadow is so high on the list. E.K. Johnston pays homage to our favorite queen and badass senator Padme Amidala. There’s politics, there’s solidarity between female characters, and Bail Organa is in it so you KNOW I simply must give it a high rating. All jokes aside, I thought the story added lots of little details to the world of Star Wars without it being all stereotypical sci-fi nerdy language. You know how people want to describe something beyond our technological capabilities so they throw a bunch of nonsense together like “pre-praxis crystal bio-anode circuitry”? I’m looking at you, Karen Miller, I love you but please. There is none of that in this book. It makes sense, it adds color and culture and life to the worlds of Star Wars. Most of all, it devotes time and love to developing Padme outside of her place in canon as Anakin’s wife, Queen of Naboo, and Senator. She is all of these things, but she’s human too. I do agree that the pacing is slow, but it’s something meant to be savored, I think. E.K. Johnston really shines when she’s writing dialogue because she gets these characters. That’s something to appreciate, because not all canon books agree with the way we’ve perceived the characters as an audience.

8. Rogue Planet chewed me up, spit me out, and declared me an even bigger stan for The Team. People who say Qui-Gon would have been a better master for Anakin can ~get out~ because I could read about these two hooligans getting neck deep in space shenanigans all damn day. Anakin is like twelve, which is a time in his training that we don’t get a lot of in canon. Personally, I think it was equal parts heartwarming and funny to read about their adventures. There is some angst sprinkled in there because hey, we’re reading about Anakin here, let’s not forget the emotional trainwreck that is Anakin Skywalker. The duo is sent to a planet that makes super fast ships that are ?sentient? or at least biologically active. They bond with the pilot, which makes Anakin perfect for this mission. There’s a scene where these little floof things attach all over tiny Anakin because he’s so strong in the Force and it’s god damn adorable how dare he?? I’d probably rate this one even higher if I read it again, but it’s been awhile. Characterization is spot on and reminiscent of Matthew Stover’s writing in how it highlights the strong bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin, how they’re fated to know each other. I’m a sucker for soulmates, what can I say?

9. Lost Stars reads like a movie. Not a script, but just the perfect amount of detail that you can imagine the scenes but the pacing is still quick, the dialogue smooth and natural. I couldn’t help wishing this was a film because the story was so all-encompassing. The highs and lows of the emotions of both protagonists, their relationship developing, the differences in culture. Folks, this book has it all! It’s a totally different perspective on the events of the original trilogy, seen from the side of Imperial cadets training to become pilots. Eventually, one splits off and joins the Rebellion while the other perseveres in the Empire. It’s like star-crossed lovers, but covers so much more ground than that. And the characters are fully developed. These original characters knocked my socks off, and that’s hard to do since I’m usually an Obi-Wan stan through and through. For anyone uncertain of reading Star Wars novels, this book is a great place to start. Action-packed, emotion-filled, and stands on its own despite weaving perfectly into the established universe. What more could you want?

10. Back at it again with the prequel shit, amiright? Queen’s Peril is E.K. Johnston’s most recent Padme-centric novel and it does not disappoint fans that wanted a taste of the Queen’s side of the story. Set during the events of The Phantom Menace, we get a “behind the curtain” look at how all of the handmaidens came to be more than their title suggests. There’s teenage girls getting stuff done! It makes more sense why Padme was elected ruler of her home-world, and you come to appreciate that a royal leader is not alone; there’s actually a whole team at her side to help her overcome everything from the drudgery of daily governing to Trade Federation blockades that threaten to starve her people. I think if you enjoyed Queen’s Shadow, you’ll enjoy this book a lot. For those that are unfamiliar with Johnston’s work, I wouldn’t recommend this one first because it does cover events you’ve already seen in movies and therefore is a less suspenseful companion to them. On the other hand, because it does tie in with TPM, it doesn’t suffer from the pacing issues of Queen’s Shadow to the same degree. I read this all in one sitting, so it’s definitely fun, but wasn’t compelling enough in its character development to elevate the book past some of the others I’ve listed already.

11. Thrawn: Treason was a refreshing return to the Grand Admiral we all know and love after the second installment in this series slowed things down a bit. Although it wasn’t as character-driven as the first book (which I love with all of my heart), there were still many moments that had me cackling at the disparity between Thrawn’s immense intellect and the other Imperials’ sheer stupidity, and that’s what we’re here for in a book about the Empire, right? There’s a lot of pressure on Thrawn, as his TIE Defender project has been pitted against Director Krennic’s Project Stardust. Who will get the funds? We just don’t know?? Tarkin sits in between the two and as usual, manipulates everything to his advantage. Palpatine questions Thrawn’s allegiance to the Empire after some of the choices he has made, leaving him in even more of a pickle. Thrawn is sent on a wild goose chase task that should definitely end in failure (on purpose because Imperials all want to watch each other burn as much as they want to watch the Rebellion burn), but you know Thrawn will find a way. My main squeeze Eli Vanto makes his return after being absent from book 2. Missed you, my sweet sweet country boy. He doesn’t have a leading role in this novel, but every scene he’s in makes the story better. Thrawn says “perhaps” way too often for my taste, but if you can ignore that, this book is a solid read. Equal parts action and deductive reasoning, as any Thrawn book should be.

12. Most of Dark Disciple had me thinking this was going to be a top tier book, and damn do I wish we could have gotten this animated. We follow Quinlan Vos and Asajj Ventress on a mission to assassinate Count Dooku. Why the Jedi thought this was a good idea, I don’t know. But I’m here for it all the same. 3/4 of the adventure were intriguing, but the ending didn’t do it for me. I won’t spoil things for anyone who hasn’t read this yet, but after all of the character development, to have it squandered so quickly just left me disappointed? I got really attached to everyone in this novel, and I’m sure you will to. I’ve read this and listened to it as an audiobook, and actually I think it’s more memorable as an audiobook. Would recommend, except for Mace Windu’s voice being exceptionally southern for no reason. Weird. I think this novel captures all of the great things about The Clone Wars show; time to really get to know each character and their motivations, action and adventure with the darkness of impending doom tinting everything, and lightsaber fights! Plus, Obi-Wan and Anakin make appearances in this book and it just adds that extra bit of spice. Worth the read, even if you know they aren’t going to get Dooku in the end (which I am still mad about, screw that guy).

Jedi Knight: Passed the Trials but There’s Room for Improvement

13. Few books in the Star Wars universe are centered around characters with no use of the Force, but in Most Wanted, we see a young Han Solo and Qi’ra struggling to survive on Corellia and it provides a humorous but compelling backstory to both characters in the Disney canon. Han is his usual lucky goofball self, and Qi’ra is smart and cunning. You can see how they grew into the versions of themselves in Solo. While the book stays on the lighter side of things (typical of stories written for a younger audience), there are still moments of depth on droid rights, viewing the Force as a religion, and what life is like in a crime syndicate. Addressing these heavier topics without it killing the pace of the story is hard to do, but Rae Carson pulls it off flawlessly. I went into this book with no expectations and was pleasantly surprised by how much fun I had. Han and Qi’ra start off as competitors, but eventually have to learn to work together to survive as more and more people start hunting them down. They’re honestly so cute together, I loved their dynamic. It makes Solo a better movie, and although I liked it on its own, characters like Qi’ra needed a little more time to get to know, which you can get here!

14. Thrawn Alliances was not what I expected at all, and it took me a lot longer to get through. Hell, it has Thrawn, Anakin/Vader, and Padme in it! What’s not to love? Apparently, a lot. The different timepoints and perspectives in this were more jarring than anything else. Although the interactions between Thrawn and Anakin/Vader were enjoyable, it was not enough to elevate this book into the Jedi Master tier. Things felt dry, the characters didn’t grip me like in the first Thrawn, and it all felt like a ploy to introduce Batuu into canon before the launch of Galaxy’s Edge.

15. Leia: Princess of Alderaan was a dive into young Leia’s life before we see her in A New Hope even though this was marketed as a journey to The Last Jedi book, which I disagree with. We really haven’t seen any content about Leia in this time period before, and although I can’t say I was looking for this, I did enjoy it. The book was a little long, but there was adventure and the seeds are planted for Leia to be a bigger part of the Rebellion. The romance wasn’t too memorable, but Holdo wasn’t pointless in this (a stark contrast to her brief appearance in TLJ just to sacrifice herself). There’s a hint about Leia being Force-sensitive but it’s not in-your-face. It’s a typical coming-of-age story but in the gffa. The best part about this is seeing Bail and Breha as parents. I’m forever in pain that we didn’t get to see more of this in movies because it’s so so sweet. Leia must choose what kind of person she is going to be--and what kind of princess she will become. It won’t be for everyone, but I liked it.

16. Master and Apprentice was a typical Star Wars novel, which means it’s full of original characters that are strange and outlandish to serve the plot, a new world full of beautiful landscapes, and Obi-Wan suffering. I want to make it clear that this book is 80% Qui-Gon, 10% Rael Averross, and 10% Obi-Wan. I was expecting it to be 50% Qui-Gon, 50% Obi-Wan, as the cover suggested. Although I was disappointed by that, the story overall was okay. Qui-Gon is kind of an asshole in this? When is he not, though. We really get to sink our teeth into the way he and Obi-Wan fundamentally disagree with each other, so much so that their teacher-student relationship is falling apart. Tragic! They go on one last mission before calling it quits. Qui-Gon is in over his head with prophecies, Obi-Wan just wants to follow the rules, and Rael Averross is Dooku’s previous apprentice that is living his best life as a regent until Pijal’s princess comes of age. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a solid book. I just don’t vibe with Qui-Gon and want to whack him upside the head every time he avoids confrontation with his own student. My protectiveness for Obi-Wan is showing again, isn’t it? Yikes.

17. James Luceno is one of the most analytical authors I’ve ever read anything from, but it seems to always work? Tarkin is all about...well, Moff Tarkin. He’s ruthless, intelligent, and just downright evil. His backstory was compelling and I found myself drawn into the story by the details, although it is dense and took awhile to finish. I’m not interested in him as a character, but despite that, I enjoyed this story. The plot wasn’t memorable enough for me to recall after 3 years, but it’s similar to how Thrawn rose through the ranks of the Navy, just in a different part of the Empire’s governing body. We don’t get many books completely focused on a villain (I don’t count Vader ones because we know who he was before and the whole damn saga is about him), but this one is good! Don’t be fooled by it only being in the Knight tier. I think people who read a lot of sci-fi will like this book a lot. This is like the opposite of Queen’s Shadow, basically. If you had gripes about that book, you might like this one instead.

18. Battlefront II: Inferno Squad was a worthwhile read for anyone who played Battlefront II. Iden Versio is a great protagonist in the game, and I think Christie Golden totally gets her character. She’s nuanced and relatable. The whole team is interesting and getting introduced to each member before the events of the game makes everything mean more. That’s the real goal of any prequel story, I think. Accomplished! The action scenes are on point, the plot served to highlight what makes Inferno Squad special, and you get a sense for the morally grey area anyone must function in as an operative for the Empire. Although not necessary for the greater canon, it’s a great adventure. Iden and her squad members infiltrate the remains of Saw Gerrara’s group (they’ve become a bit of extremist) and destroy them from the inside. It’s got the suspense of a spy thriller and all of the nerdy space opera elements you expect from Star Wars. Although it’s weird to jump into a story not knowing any of the characters, you’ll get attached to Inferno Squad fast. Well, except for Gideon Hask maybe. He’s kind of a dick.

19. If you’re craving some Dark Side action, Lords of the Sith will give you what you’re looking for. Sidious and Vader crash-land on Ryloth and have to work together to survive, and also defeat the Free Ryloth Movement led by Cham Syndulla. It’s all fucking connected, guys. I love when people weave together stories that fit into the canon timeline like this, bringing in side characters and allowing them to develop some depth. And a chance to sink into the mind of a Sith Lord is always fun, if you’re in the mood to read about destruction and anger. It’s cathartic sometimes. If you’re always wondering, why didn’t Vader just stab Palps when he had the chance, this book explains their dynamic more. It didn’t really change my opinion of any of the characters, which is why it’s not higher on the list.

20. Catalyst suffered from being in a really boring part of galactic history. Despite that, Galen Erso and Orson Krennic have a hilarious relationship that I would have loved to see on-screen. This book really develops Krennic to become more than just the whiny entitled evil man we saw in Rogue One. He’s ten times worse now! But I mean that in the best way, I laugh whenever he’s in a scene, that sassy man just brings me joy. James Luceno is at it again, making things as detailed and dry as possible. I read so many of his stories right at the beginning of my journey through Star Wars canon and it’s a wonder I didn’t quit. Some of them are dark as fuck. And also slow as hell. With this one, I think it all comes down to what you want out of a Star Wars novel. Some people will really enjoy the plot. I think seeing how Galen became a part of Project Stardust was interesting and every time something about the Death Star became more clear, I screeched because I knew what it would eventually become. This book may not hold your interest though, which is why I put it lower on this list.

21. Star Wars: Clone Wars was a decent retelling of the Clone Wars movie. I liked it because I liked the movie, but you have to be able to sit back and enjoy the ride, not thinking too much about the silly parts. For that reason, it’s pretty far down in the rankings. Ahsoka is young and liable to get on your nerves. I certainly wasn’t her biggest fan at this point in the series. The biggest problem is that Karen Traviss is very anti-Jedi. Some authors for Star Wars tend to do this? To me, it’s weird. I didn’t notice it too much because it was one of the first Star Wars books I read, but it contrasts starkly with the truth of the prequel trilogy and some of the other entries in the Clone Wars Novel timeline, like Karen Miller’s books. Needless to say, although this book wasn’t super memorable aside from the familiar plot, it kept me reading Star Wars books, and so it is at least an average book. Plus, any content with Anakin and the clones is worth it for me. I love them.

22. A New Hope was good, for Alan Dean Foster. I’m not a fan, I’ll be honest. But this novelization stands on it’s own. I’m going to have to do a re-read to really go in depth on why this isn’t farther up on the tier list, but the movie is always going to be better to me. If you want to re-live the great beginning of the Original Trilogy, it’s worth your time. I mean, the story is full of adventure and mystery and lovable characters. What’s not to love? I just feel like the movie really elevates the narrative with a great score and fun character design/costumes/sets.

Padawan: These Books Have Much to Learn

23. Attack of the Clones was more entertaining than The Phantom Menace because the characters are in funnier situations. Obi-Wan and Anakin chasing Zam Wesell through the levels of Coruscant? Hilarious, just like the movie. Anakin and Padme falling in love as they spend time together? Holy fuck it’s so much better than the movie. Please read it for that alone. Outside of that, the writing style didn’t really impress me. And my experience with it wasn’t super memorable. There was potential to really make the inner dialogue of these characters impactful, to really develop the story of Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padme beyond what we could get from the movie scenes alone. I didn’t think it went above and beyond there. Not a bad story at all, but you don’t get to look at Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, or Ewan McGregor the whole time either, so therefore I must rank it lower. So many beautiful people in that movie, holy shit. You can understand my, dilemma, yes?

24. I enjoyed parts of The Phantom Menace book, like deleted scenes with Anakin living on Tatooine before Qui-Gon and Padme meet him. The additional depth is lovely, but I think a story like Queen’s Peril adds more to TPM than this book does. The story overall is still fun. I love this movie so much, it’s hard for me to be critical. I did put a lot of post-it flags in my copy, so it does develop the characters and get you thinking beyond your expectations from the movie. What more could you ask for from a movie novelization? I’d say not much, if I hadn’t read Revenge of the Sith and had my fucking mind blown. In comparison to that, this one is just okay.

25. The Last Jedi novelization wasn’t bad, necessarily. It tried its best to bring this story up to par with some of the interesting novels that don’t have movie counterparts. But still, the plot suffers because of how this movie was made. It’s very focused on Rey and Kylo, and Finn’s little adventure with Rose seems pointless in the grand scheme of things. I’d rather read this again versus watching the film, but that’s all I’ll say on this because I’m trying to keep my opinions on this movie to myself to avoid digging up old arguments. Jason Fry did well, and of the two Sequel Trilogy books I’ve read, I would recommend this one over Ep. 7.

26. The Force Awakens falls short and I think it’s because of Alan Dean Foster’s writing style on this one? It didn’t really expand on anything from the movie, while taking away the beautiful music and visuals. This novel is the antithesis of Revenge of the Sith’s novelization, and for that reason I ranked it fairly low. I wouldn’t read this one unless you really really love the Sequel Trilogy.

27. To be fair, I read the new Thrawn book before I went back and read this one. Even so, Heir to the Empire didn’t impress me at all. Thrawn didn’t seem like a thrilling villain with lots of depth like he did in Timothy Zahn’s reimagined Thrawn novel. We barely saw him. A lot of time was spent on the Original Triology’s trio, which waasn’t bad. I thought Luke, Leia, and Han were all written fairly well. The latter part of the story was redeemed by the interactions between Mara Jade and Luke, for sure. Enemies to lovers, anyone?? Without Thrawn, this book would have been an entertaining story, but for all of the praise it has received from long-time Star Wars fans, I was expecting to be blown away and I wasn’t. Maybe I have to continue the triology to figure out what all of the fuss is about, but after this one, I’m not super motivated to read more. Change my mind?

28. Cloak of Deception really shines when you’re following Palpatine’s perspective because you can feel the undercurrents of his master plan to destroy the Republic underneath his calm persona as a Senator. Other than that, it’s a forgettable plot. This is all about galactic politics and some terrorist group trying to blow up some government officials. Basically the most boring parts of the prequel trilogy. I listened to the audiobook of this at the beginning of this year and I already forget what it’s about. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan should have been able to bring some humor and energy to get you rooting for the good guys, but there was barely any of that. I was disappointed in all of the characters. Everything felt distant, removed from the heart of the characters. Some people in reviews have argued that the events of The Phantom Menace really pinned this novel in a corner because you already know what happens, but I disagree, because we know how Revenge of the Sith goes and The Clone Wars show is that much more tragic and heartbreakingly beautiful because of it. Prequels can be done right. This ain’t it, Luceno. Sorry.

29. Star Wars: The Old Republic, Fatal Alliance needs to go home and rethink it’s life. I’m a huge fan of the Old Republic and I’ve put like 200 hours of my life into playing that game, so I was hoping for some fun content in this part of the timeline. Sadly, this book captured the worst parts of the game, like the fact that there’s way too many factions at war with each other. Jedi, Sith, Empire, Republic, Mandalorians. They’re all here. They’re all ready to throw down. And I’m tired. As with many of the books in this lower tier, I felt there wasn’t enough description of the world or the people in the story. We’re in the gffa, be a little weird and wacky. Be big and bold! Make things terrifying, or beautiful, or both. But give my mind something to work with. The number of characters made the plot messier than it could have been, and it definitely isn’t worth the read. I can’t speak for all Old Republic books, but this one didn’t impress me.

A Sith Lord?! On My Bookshelf? It’s More Likely Than You’d Think

30. So underwhelming, you might as well just read the first half and then stop. Last Shot is absolutely terrible, except for Lando Calrissian’s characterization, which was spot-on. If the whole story had been from his perspective, I probably would have a much difference opinion on the novel as a whole. Sadly, this is not the case. Han was boring, he bottled up his emotions, and seemed drastically different from the badass he was in the original trilogy. There are different timepoints in this novel, and in all of them, Han is unrecognizable. Don’t nerf one of your main characters like that. Daniel Jose Older and I might just not get along. I thought his writing style didn’t fit Star Wars at all. It was like breaking the fourth wall, totally pulling me out of the story constantly. Also, there were little to no descriptions of body language, locations, or movement. It left me feeling disoriented the whole time I was reading. I thought one of the most interesting things would have been seeing Han, Leia, and baby Ben being a family at this point in time, but Han’s family was there as a prop, nothing more. There was a big bad item that was going to cause galactic destruction and our heroes had to go save the day. There was barely any tension and no one lost an arm so I’m pretty pissed off. Is it Star Wars if no one gets their appendage removed? I can’t tell you how much I disliked this book. Which is sad because I was hoping to enjoy it. I like Han. I like Lando. I like space adventures. I’m not that hard to please, or at least I don’t think so.

#Star Wars Novels #tier ranking #long post #i worked hard to put my thoughts into words for you guys #i read these books over a long period of time but I thought I'd encompass all of it in one post #sw lit #i've had so much fun becoming a part of this fandom #and I love the conversations about the books and the gffa in general #hopefully this will inspire some discussion!#i would love you guys to make tier rankings as well #they're always my favorite youtube videos to watch

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gothamslittlejester · 4 years

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SFW Alphabet with Phoenix!Joker and Ledger!Joker

Hello, I am not dead. I’m really sorry I haven’t posted in forever, so here’s a pretty long piece for both the clownbois to make up for it for you guys (hopefully,, aghhh). I hope my joker license has not been revoked lol, forgive me lovelies.

The characters will be written separately, but feel free to imagine them together if you wish! I just thought writing them both at once made for an interesting comparison. Phoenix!Joker will be referred to as Arthur, and Ledger!Joker as J. I didn’t do all the alphabet letters because some were repetitive, so here’s the ones I thought would make good headcannons!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Out of the two, Arthur is considerably more affectionate. Being so deprived of love for so long, he doesn’t hesitate to absolutely smother you in affection 24/7, whether that be through kisses, long hugs and warm smiles, or more subtle actions like helping you clean around the house or washing your hair in the bath. He may be a killer clown, but he can’t help dotting on you every time you’re together.

· He also praises you any chance he gets, cooing in your ears how amazing you are and how much you mean to him. He wants you to feel loved in every way possible, both verbally and physically.

· His favorite way of showing affection is making you laugh or cheering you up whenever you’re down. Bad jokes? Cute magic tricks? Running your boss over with a truck? He knows the blues can come and go as they please and they can really affect your whole mood, so he makes sure to always bring some happiness in your life.

Ledger!Joker

· J shows his affection in much more subtle ways, although with time you find yourself picking up on them effortlessly. He may not always vocalize his affection, but there’s no denying his adoration for you.

· He’s very playful with you; tickle fights, wrestling matches, pinching your ass and ruffling your hair are all things you grow accustomed to, and they never fail to make you laugh. If you blush or squeak in response to his antics, J will think it’s the cutest and funniest thing in the world. He’ll only be more encouraged to get that response out of you next time, so good luck to you.

· At night, his displays of affection shift from playful to more protective and domineering. If he’s feeling suddenly possessive of you, he envelops you in a protective hug and pulls you into his chest. His side of the bed will always the one closest to the door in case of trouble.

· His affection is very physical, and will often be shown through actions. He’ll take care of any inconvenience you have- someone bother you, sweetheart? You never see them again.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur will always be there for you, listening to you vent for hours, helping you with any little chore or problem you have and just chilling with you by the television for hours. He’s never had someone to confide in and care for him, and every understanding look and encouraging smile you give him is stored in a special place in his heart.

· Not only is he a great listener for you too, but his advice is never halfhearted. If you have a problem, or something you’re uncertain about, he’ll do his best to help you sort it out until you’re confident again. He’ll be there for you no matter what, because you’ll be there for him too.

Ledger!Joker

· Now, Having J as a friend is extremely chaotic and often leads to him dragging you away to join him on some illegal adventure at 3 in the morning. Are you gonna go rob a bank or go scare the elderly? Who knows, who cares! Just get dressed and join him!

· Philosophical conversations with J are incredible. He never dismisses your ideas or thoughts of the world, encouraging you to always speak your mind, filter free. There’s no need to hide from him, ever.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Phoenix!Joker

· When he cuddles you, Arthur feels like all his problems just melt away, and therefor will not let go of your body for hours. It’s therapeutic and heals his soul in a way that his medication never could.

· His little secret is that he loves it when he’s the little spoon, or just generally being cradled by you. Lying on top of your chest just to hear your heartbeat? Absolute heaven.

· His favorite thing to do is to rub his nose in the crook of your neck and take a big breath, relishing in your scent. It makes him feel so safe and loved he could cry, and during bad days he probably has. Even after he turned into Joker, it would take a bulldozer to rip his grabby hands away from your warm body. Due to how frail and cold his body is, he’s not the epitome of a teddy bear, but the amount of love and comfort that radiate off of him is enough to make for that. It’s nothing a warm blanket can’t fix, and his kisses are the warmest all year round.

Ledger!Joker

· Now, J would never admit it, but he’s just as big of a cuddler as Arthur. I know, I know, controversial! But there is no way you can convince me that this man isn’t an attention seeking, touch starved, hug deprived needy little asshole. Having you wrap your arms around him in the middle of the night, melting into his body with a satisfied sigh, is cocaine to him. Feeling you playfully jump on his back and embrace him from behind makes J want to blow up the city for you. He’ll do it too, don’t tempt him.

· Only difference is, he much more prefers it when you initiate it- seeing you all needy and pouty for him just makes him so giddy. What’s that Y/N? You’re desperate for him? Well, I guess he can hold you in his arms, since he’s so generous...

· Of course, he’s not shy either, and will get his way if need be. If you sit more than 2 inches away from him on the couch you’re instantly pulled onto his lap, and don’t even think about falling asleep without being buried in his side. He wants to feel loved, dammit!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur’s kisses are soft and dotting, always gentle and loving. He often moans into the kiss and pulls you closer, never getting enough of you. They can be desperate and needy after a long day away from you, but they are generally very sweet and slow.

· He likes to press kisses all over your face and cheeks, liking the way you giggle as he peppers them all over you. He really cant get enough of you, and just the knowledge that he has someone in his life that enjoys being intimate with him leaves Arthur completely awed.

· He’ll take any sort of kiss from you without complaint, but his favorite is when you’re holding him from behind, either in bed or in the bath, and press a gentle one to his back. It makes him feel loved and safe, which he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Ledger!Joker

· When J kisses you, he truly does steal your breath away. All his passion, obsession and need for you are conveyed effortlessly with the way he moves against your mouth and wraps his arms around your body in a protective manner.

· Although oftentimes rough and sensual, his kisses can also be very teasing and playful. He’ll kiss your hand in a romantic manner just to see you blush and shake your head, or leave little hickeys down neck that he likes to kiss again later. He’s also not opposed to licking you, so watch out for that.

· He’ll never admit it, but he loves it when you lean up to kiss his cheek. It’s such a sweet and gentle action, something he’s not accustomed to whatsoever, and it leaves him feeling very warm and protective inside. Especially when your lips brush against his scars- knowing you love them and want to show them affection makes J want to kill for you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Phoenix!Joker

·Arthur loves being there for children, especially the less fortunate ones. Despite how crazy and ruthless Joker can be, he would never even dream of laying a hand on a child.

· There are times when he remembers the joy that his old persona “Carnival” could bring to the sad young faces of all those kids, and it’s enough to make him grimace and reminisce on what he lost.

· He’d never expect to start a family with you while he’s out being criminal menace as a full time job, but there are times where he allows his imagination to run wild, picturing a world with a better life for the both of you, his children playing in the garden while you grow old together.

Ledger!Joker

· J... J is a bully. He doesn’t have the patience whatsoever to deal with children at all, and overall just finds their incessant questions mind-numbing. They’re not even good questions- questions that provoke a philosophical debate or reconsideration of our purpose in the universe for example- just dumb ones that can be googled in a second. Why is the sky blue? Give him a break.

· Now, He wouldn’t go out of his way to single out a child and brutally kill them- he wants his victims to fully understand their doom, and kids don’t have that level of comprehension yet- but if one of those smug little shits happened to be carrying around a balloon, ho ho! It’s getting popped on sight. You know that saying “steeling lollipops from babies?” Yeah, that’s J.

· May not be a big fan of kids, but if you ever need a top quality dead baby joke, he’s your guy!

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Having had so many jobs in his life, Arthur has adapted to waking up in the early morning with ease.

· If he has to go somewhere, he’ll quietly tiptoe around the apartment as he gets ready, careful not wake you up as he gets dressed in his red suit and applies his makeup. He’ll place a gentle kiss to your temple just before he has to leave, staring adoringly at your peaceful face for a few minutes.

· If he has nothing planned, Arthur will just lay in bed until you wake up naturally, enjoying the feeling on your arm body pressed against him.

Ledger!Joker

· J is a drama queen. Being mostly nocturnal, J doesn’t even get out of his REM sleep cycle until like 3 pm at the earliest.

· On those days where he gets woken up at, god forbid, 9 am, he’ll be so groggy and grumpy that not even coffee can save him.

· Alarm wakes him up? That’s now enemy number one. Someone outside being loud? If he had the energy, they’d be dead. And don’t think you’re getting out of bed without him either. He’ll pull you back and wrap all his limbs around you like a snake, snuggling into you so you can’t leave.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur only really gets angry when someone attacks him or tries to make him feel worthless. As Joker, he’s definitely gained quite a bit of confidence, and will start a fight with strangers for the smallest of reasons, but they rarely actually make him angry.

· His patience in general is actually quite remarkable. Most of his schemes and plots take quite a while to plan out, and although he does rely on luck here and there, he puts in quite a few hours at a time to flesh out the details.

· He’ll wait as long as he needs to get what he wants. For example, it’s not like he shy’s away from stalking people, and that takes quite a bit of resilience and patience.

Ledger!Joker

· J is... an emotional man. An open book. He almost never gets angry at you- unless you do something stupid like put yourself in harms way- but everyone else? All it takes is very trivial inconveniences to get him riled up and ready to murder some poor soul on sight.

· He’ll be patient for a while if he needs to work on some elaborately villainous scheme, but after a few days of obsessing over the schematics he’ll start to get antsy and bored. He’s a man of action, who has the time for all this planning?

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur would do his very best to make dates and anniversaries special. Dinner from your favorite restaurant, long walks by the place you first met, movie nights under a warm fort with intermediate pillow fights; Arthur will always find something that will put a smile on your face.

· He may not have that much money to begin with, but after adapting into his joker persona, a little bit of petty theft is nothing too unacceptable. Especially since he can use the extra cash to treat his lover to the most lavish things.

Ledger!Joker

· J would absolutely spoil you. Unfortunately due to his “job”, he has to leave you for hours or even days at a time to do his business, and he knows you tend to feel lonely in those times. So for him, date night is about you. And he’ll be damned if you don’t get the best present, meal and clown in Gotham all to yourself.

· You want your favorite snack? He’ll get you a bucket-full.

· You want that new dress you saw at the mall, but can’t afford it? Neither can he! Join him for some late-night theft and he’ll grab the garment just for you.

· You want to spend the whole night tucked away in his arms as he cuddles you for hours? “Come to daddy~”

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur sometimes forgets to eat, a habit that scares you. You don’t mean to nag, but you just can’t help it when you see how thin and weak Arthur becomes after barely eating anything.

· You know he doesn’t do it on purpose, and you never hold it against him, but it does scare you when you see how weak and exhausted he gets. You make sure to always fill the cabinets with snacks and get him to eat dinner whenever he’s home, but who knows if he eats while he’s out causing panic in Gotham.

· The smoking is also a bit of an issue, but you’d rather make sure your clown is well fed before you tackle this other issue.

Ledger!Joker

· J’s teeth can be... very much a turnoff sometimes. Stained to hell with a coffee addiction and lack of hygiene, it made kissing him an experience at first.

· He soon began trying to make himself more dapper and charming just for his little one (yes you) once his need for you grew, but sometimes he just forgets. He knew his hygiene wasn’t his best quality, and he often smelled like dried blood and gasoline, so he makes sure to take a shower when he can. Plus, he figured quite quickly that you like the smell of his cologne…

· You can’t be too mad though, not with a smile so bright and yellow it matches the sun!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Phoenix!Joker

· For Arthur, yes. When you finally admitted your feelings for him, he knew you were the first and last person who will ever give his life meaning. He would rip out his lungs if you asked- just if it meant seeing you another day.

· Leaving him would break his soul and put him in such a dark, black space that not even Joker’s red suit would have color there.

· It’s not the healthiest, and he doesn’t want to scare you away, but his obsession and need for you will never die down. He loves you, and you really do make him whole.

Ledger!Joker

· For J, his feelings aren’t that far off from Arthur’s. As his obsession with you grows, so does his adoration and glee. Everyday he finds new quirks and traits of yours that he likes, and everyday he begins to expect them, to crave them, to need them.

· He’ll find out what you like to do, what your favorite things are, what makes you truly and utterly happy, and he’ll store them in his memory to spoil you later.

· J’s love is absolutely obsessive and possessive, like a child with a doll he refuses to share even for a second, but that’s all he knows. He’ll never hurt you or lay his hands on you, but his love is nothing short of mad.

· Leaving him is not an option. Ever. He’ll do anything to ensure that you stay right in his line of sight, and putting you in a pretty glass cage is not beyond him. You make him happy, and whole- you complete him- so why would he ever throw that away?

#joker x reader #joker headcannons #ledger joker #Arthur fleck x reader #ledger joker x reader #TDK joker #my writing

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nota-deviant · 3 years

Text

Chapter 3

Dib was surprised to not see Zim come in. It had been a routine for him at this point and now he had a pre-made cup of whiskey going to waste

"Dammit Zim, of course you wouldn't come in the day I make your drink for you"

The raven haired male grumbled to no one but himself, washing a glass and perking up at a conversation he heard at one of the close by tables

"I can't believe he's allowed to come in here"

"You think someone would shoot him already"

Dib glared. He had no idea who the men were talking about but he didn't enjoy hearing things like that in his bar. It would usually start a fight and he would end up with atleast a bloody nose or a black eye from a drunk patron

"Hey!"

He spoke up, the two guys looking over to him with curious looks

"I don't appreciate that kind of talk in my bar. If you’re planning on killing someone, I'd rather not have the blood on my floors"

He stated in a sour tone, making it clear that they better stop or he was going to kick them out

"Of course someone like you wouldn't want that talk. Man up, a little blood won't kill ya"

"What kind of someone am I exactly?"

The two looked at each other before bursting into a brief fit of laughter

"Oh you crack me up. But of course you'd be clueless, your kind aren't very smart"

Dib wasn't having it. This conversation was about to go one of two ways. Either they leave...or things were bound to get messy

"Get out of my bar."

He stated sternly, but the men stayed put

"Or what fag?"

Dibs blood started to boil

"Look at him! You people are low but I'd never think you'd mingle with the freak that comes in everyday. Then again, you both have a thing in common"

"Yeah, we're not douches."

"Your menaces to society. Man up and quit acting like a fool around that freak"

"That freak is the only goddam person in here that pays their fucking tab"

With that, Dib grabbed the whiskey he had poured for Zim and tossed it onto the man, brown liquid staining the light blue plaid shirt he wore

Before he knew it the bar had gone into chaos. It wasn't just a small bruise or nose bleed this time for Dib...oh no..this time Dib was wrestling on the ground with the same guy, a bottle flying over them and smashing against the wall as Dib was punched smack dab in the middle of his face. Was his mouth bleeding?

Dib couldn't tell. He never fought, and because of that he was quite easily beaten down in the brawl. Blood pooled around his head and he groaned, his left eye almost swollen shut from how bruised it was.he couldn't tell whether or not the red he saw was alcohol or blood, settling on closing his eyes and passing out

Dib woke up later that night to an empty bar, his head in excruciating pain and pieces of glass sticking out of his torso and arms. He was just glad he wasn't shot. Dib shakily pushed himself up and groaned as the pain only became worse now that he was standing. His bar looked like it had been turned upside down and he was adamant that his father was going to have quite a few words to say to him about this

I can't believe you lost control of yourself so easily

He could already hear the words in his head as he made his way to the back to clean his wounds. He was so focused on the pain and blood that he didn't hear the door open or the crunch of glass under heavy shoes as someone made their way to the bar

"How am I going to fix this?"

He scolded himself and frowned, bandaging up his arm and jumping back as a hand was placed on his shoulder. He turned around quick enough to see the shocked and angry look in Zims eyes. They were glowing in this light..almost completely red from what Dib could see. In his mind he panicked...adrenaline pumping through his veins again as he booked it for the back of the bar. He didn't know why he ran..was it because he was scared? Was he afraid that Zim was going to hurt him too now? Dib doubted it but he wouldn't put it past him, a lot of bruises were ones from the day before when Zim stayed until closing and wouldn't stop punching his arm every time he said a stupid joke. Dib got lost in his thoughts and nearly ran right into a wall, turning around and immediately being pinned by..what were they? They shone like metal and were sharp enough to stab straight through him but only went through his shirt and dug into the wall

"Who did this?"

"What?"

Dib looked up, seeing Zim now at a taller point and standing on two of the weird metal legs

"Who.Did.This"

His voice had danger in it and he looked like he was ready to murder someone. Dib couldn't get any words out..he didn't know who..and he didn't want anyone getting hurt. Warm tears flowed down his face and Zims face softened from anger to pity as he lowered himself and walked over. Zim had never touched Dib before...atleast not in the way he was doing so now. A clawed hand wiped one of Dibs tears away and he sniffles, trying to not look as stupid as he felt in that very moment

"I'm sorry, I couldn't stop it! I didn't know how to fight him off I just-"

"Be quiet..you'll only cause yourself more harm by panicking"

Zim shushed Dib and pulled him into a hug, those same claws digging into his back as Zims face went into the crook of his neck.

They stayed like that for a good long while, quiet and both filled with fear

"I don't know who it was"

Dib finally said, Zim pulling away from the hug and giving a nod. The green man's hands lingered on his shoulders for awhile before being pulled back to his sides

"I didn't mean to scare you..I can explain everything"

"Dont..not right now atleast..I've had enough excitement for one day"

Dib took Zims hand and gave a weary smile

"Why don't we have a drink...it seems like we both need one right now"

Zim let out a weak laugh and nodded, his eyes seeming to go into a softer pink glow rather than red

"Lets"

Chapter 2 here

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glassartpeasants · 4 years

Text

Not As It Seems

Overhaul x F!Reader (xChrono??)

Warnings: Hella angst, small hint of fluff if you squint, bro code broken

A/N: I want to thank @zuffer-weird-girl for letting me write this! I All credit goes to her and her Chibi AU! I love angst and this was too good to pass up this opportunity. If you want to learn more about Her chibi au go check her out she has some really amazing au’s so if your done with this go check her out!

~~~

They’re all 11

“Oh hey Kai, what are you doing?” Hari asked his friend who seemed to be lost in his own world.

“KAI!”

“Jesus! What do you want?” Kai said, finally snapping out of his daydream.

“Who were you thinking about?” Hari said, giving Kai a smug look.

“That’s none of your business now is it?” Kai growled at his friend who only laughed.

“You're thinking about (y/n) aren’t you!” Hari howled as he held his stomach trying to control his laughter.

“Lies! I am not!” Kai tried to argue but his face showed it all. His cheeks and ears were bright red.

“Sure you're not. Hey is that (y/n) over there?”

“WHERE?!” Kai turned his head quickly only to be disappointed when you weren’t there.

“YOU DO LIKE HER!” Hari put his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

“Fine, maybe I do feel a sort of attraction to her. Is that so wrong?” Kai huffed looking at his friend who had calmed down.

“No nothing’s wrong at all, i just like to tease you because i find it hilarious.”

“Wow, such an amazing friend i have here.” Kai rolled his eyes as Hari caught his breath.

“Hi guys!” Kai yelped as the sound of your voice startled him causing Hari to burst into laughter again. Tears rolling out the corners of his eyes.

“H-hey (y/n)! How long have you been there…” Kai shivered at the thought of you hearing his inner thoughts.

“Oh i just got here! Is Hari okay?” Kai turned to Hari seeming him breathing heavily on the ground.

“Yes he’s fine.” Kai pouted. What was so special about him? Why didn’t you care about him-

“Kai? Why is your face red?” YOu put your hand on his head thinking he had a fever.

“I- uh..”

“Your head is so hot! Are you sure you don't have a fever?” Your face showing worry. You were worried about him. Not Hari…

Him

~~~

They’re 16

“Chibi’s?”

“Yep! Chibi’s are the things that tell you who your soulmate is! But they cannot tell you your soulmate's name, that's against their rules.” The teacher answered. Kai and Hari sat at their desks and listened to the teacher tell them about what kind of future in romance they have.

“How does it work? Like is it someone random or is it someone the person knows?” Hari raised his hand out of curiosity. Kai was also curious. WHat if he got your chibi? You guys would be soulmates!

“50/50.” The teacher shrugged his shoulders as he answered the next person’s question.

“You know what that means hmm?” Hari moved his eyebrows up and down at Kai.

“Stop, you look like an idiot.”

“Rude much?” Hari only laughed as he looked at his friend who seemed to be lost in his own world again.

“So you think your soulmate will be (y/n)?” Hari said to Kai, making him snap his head in Hari’s direction.

“Shut up dammit.” Kai mumbled as he turned his head away from the snickering male to hide his red cheeks.

*after class*

“Hey guys! Did you hear about chibi’s?!” You asked excitedly as you sat next to them on the bench in the gym.

“Yeah-”

“Man they were so weird!” Hari interrupted Kai as he laughed with you. Hari was really starting to get on his nerves.

“They said it could be someone you know or someone you dont know! 50/50 pretty much.” Hari laughed as he nudged Kai. Trying to give him the ‘I'm setting you up to talk to her look’

“Really? Cool! What do you think about it Kai?” You said as your eyes gleaned up at him. HIs heart fluttered knowing that you asked him, not Hari.

“Interesting honestly.”

“Do you have anyone you want it to be?” You said nudging his shoulder as Hari chuckled at Kai. Kai got tense was at a lost for words the only thing that came out of his mouth was-

“Yes.”

“REALLY! TELL ME WHO IT IS!” You squealed happy for your friend.

“No, do you have someone?” Kai quickly turned the spotlight away from him and onto you.

“Yep!” You said without a care in the world. How could you be so calm?

“Can you tell me-”

“No! You didn’t tell me so now i won’t tell you!”

“I say that’s fair don’t you Kai?” Hari snickered as he saw his friend giving him the most intense glare.

Kai mumbled under his breath before turning to you. Seeing your happy face ranting about how cool it is and how you were so excited for your chibi was all worth the mystery.

~~~

They’re all 20

“Why are you so down (y/n)?” Kai asked you as he saw you cover your face in a pillow while laying on the couch.

“Is it so much to ask to just want my goddamn chibi?!” You growled, your face not leaving the pillow.

“Patience is key.” Oh who was he kidding! He wanted his too. Neither him, Hari or you got your yet and it was starting to piss him off. You two were obviously made for each other so why was it taking so long?

Hurried tip toes try to sneak past Kai only causing him to turn his head where he saw Hari sneaking past him.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“SHIT! Don’t scare me like that man.” Hari yelled at him as he nervously laughed looking away from Kai.

“Are you hiding something from me?” Kai's voice lowered an octave making him seem more menacing.

“Kai calm down, let the man be.” You said lifting your head up from the pillow causing Kai to sigh.

“FIne, do whatever you were going to do.” Kai told Hari, sighing in the process. Why did he have to have such a weak-spot for you?

“Oh cool, I’ll be back in an hour or two.” Hari said as he zoomed past Kai and out the door. He should keep a closer eye on him. He’s getting a little suspicious.

“Kai don’t you want your chibi to come soon?” You looked up at him with sad eyes.

“I don’t know really.” Kai lied through his teeth. Of course he does. He just wants more proof that you two were meant to be together.

“Well i can’t wait. I really want mine soon.” You sighed as you put your head back into the pillow.

“Like I said, patience is key.” He’s such a hypocrite.

*two weeks later*

Why were you so sad every time you saw him? Did he do something wrong? Not to mention Hari has been acting up too. You both weren’t your normal selves and it was starting to piss Kai off.

“Mimic, can you tell me why both Hari and (Y/N) are acting so strange around me?” Kai asked.

“Shit if i know.”

“Thanks for the help.” Kai grumbled as he tapped his fingers on his desk in frustration. Sooner or later he was gonna confront both of you but he had to think of a plan first.

“Mimic get me a copy of (Y/N) work schedule.”

“On it boss man!”

~~~

*1 month later*

He finally had the perfect timing! A whole month was prepared for this moment. He was gonna confront you and Hari about your suspicious behavior.

As he walked closer to your room a weird sound came from your door. He quietly tip-toed to your door and pushed his ear against the wood.

His eyes blow wide at the sound of you kissing someone in your room! Who in their right mind dare touch his angel?! You were his and you had been from the moment he saw you!

‘squeak!’

Once again another noise that made his vision go red with rage. You even had your chibi?! And you never told him?! How long have you had it?!

“Hari~”

Shattered. Thats the best way to describe it. The sound of your voice calling out a name that wasn’t his. He wasn’t your soulmate,

His best friend was…

His whole world felt like it was shattering in front of him. For so long he kept his feelings bottled up inside waiting for the right time to confess. But now he would never get that chance.

His hands started shaking and even though he could help it but kick down your door. And the sight broke his heart further.

You both had your chibi’s. You were meant to be Hari’s, not his, Not now, not ever.

You both looked at Kai with shock and then sadness. Your eyes held guilt. There was nothing you could do even if you wanted to. You were destined to be with Hari. Not Kai.

Hari wasn’t much different. His face held shame and remorse. His best friend of year found out that you were his soulmate. He was hoping that Kai would have found his soulmate before Hari told him that you were his.

The room was dead silent. So quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. Both yours and Hari’s chibis looked up at Kai, sadness in their eyes as well.

“How long.”

“Kai I-”

“I SAID HOW FUCKING LONG HARI!”

“....I got my chibi first, the day you caught me sneaking behind you was the day I found out. (Y/N) found hers 2 days afterwards. Kai...I’m sorry-”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND! I TRUSTED YOU!”

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE THIS?!”

Silence plagued the room once more as the tension between Hari and Kai was so intense you could cut it like a knife.

“You were the only person I could trust…”

“What do you want me to do then Kai?” Kai couldn’t see it but Hari held on to your arm tight. He will never admit to him that all those years he too liked you but was willing to give you up just for Kai.

“Why didn’t you tell me (Y/N)?”

“ I didn’t want to hurt you…” You said as you refused to look at him.

“Well look where that got you.” Kai said venom in his words. You couldn’t even look him in the eye you were so overwhelmed with guilt. Tears started to flood down your face as you held Hari’s arms tighter.

“You knew I loved her.”

“You think i can change what’s been done Kai?! I can’t for your information and I’m sorry! Kai, you're my best friend for christ sake! I can’t choose which soulmate I get even if I wanted to!” Tears fell down Hari’s face as well. He never wanted this to happen. He only prayed that he would never find out.

“I want both of you to leave now.” You and Hari’s eyes were blown wide as you looked at Kai who shot you both the most terrifying glare you have ever seen.

“I won’t tell you again.” Hari knew what Kai would do if they didn’t hurry. HE snatched both your chibi’s and put them in his pocket before grabbing your hand and whisking you away from the room.

And from Kai.

~~~

Years later

“Hari...I think you could come see this…” Your voice was in shock as you looked at the tv.

“What is it-” Hari’s voice stopped once he saw what was on the Tv as well.

On the tv was a live broadcast of where you all used to live together. In the Shie Hassakai compound.

“It’s completely destroyed…” You hold your hand to your mouth as tears stream down your face.

“How did this happen.” Hari sat next to you as you watched the TV. Both your chibi’s snuggled up next together as they shaked watching the tv with you both.

Both of your eyes went wide once you saw what Kai had been doing all those years you guys were away. Kai started testing on a little girl who was supposed to have enough power to erase people's quirks.

You both watched in horror as the man you both once knew became something you’d now fear.

Seriously though go check @zuffer-weird-girl out, Do it or I’ll break your kneecaps UvU

#overhaul angst #chisaki overhaul #overhaul x reader #mha overhaul #overhaul #kai chisaki x reader #shie hassaikai #kai chisaki #mha #mha angst #bnha angst #chronostasis #kurono hari x reader #kurono hari #hari kurono #hari kurono x reader

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