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ellemj · 5 months

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Half-Tongue Rule: 12 Days of Smut #1

Bucky Barnes x Reader One-Shot

Summary: A little Asgardian liquor and a whole lot of tension leads to a teeny tiny bit of smut between you and a certain jealous super soldier.

Warnings: profanity, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, teasing, public teasing, jealous!Bucky, slight DUBCON if you consider it so, alcohol consumption, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires any other warnings.

Word Count: 9k (I'm very sorry)

A/N: Thank you to @littlemiss-yeehaw for both catching my mistakes in writing and helping with warnings. She's the reason I don't give in to my daily urge to delete my whole blog lmao. Also, I apologize for this being an hour later than planned. It has been a day. This is just a lil baby smut but I think each day of this event will get filthier and filthier as I get closer to my favorite storylines.

You hate parties. You hate the amount of alcohol that people seem to need to consume just to enjoy each other’s company. You hate the way you feel obligated to stay for a certain length of time just to appease the host. You especially hate the way parties make it hard to even hear your own thoughts. Or maybe you just hate Tony Stark’s parties, specifically. His parties are classy, yet overly loud and hard to break away from when you’re ready to leave. However, you still accepted the Christmas party invitation that Pepper so kindly emailed you three weeks ago. It would’ve been too difficult to come up with a fake excuse for missing it when half of you live in the same building.

So, that’s what led you here, taking the elevator up to the top floor of Stark Tower, standing with your back pressed against the cold metal wall as you listen to the chatter of the various SHIELD employees who piled into the elevator with you. The only familiar faces on the ride up are Sharon and Wanda. The three of you arrived together, but you know as soon as the elevator lets you out into the party, they’ll both disappear into the crowd to be social butterflies. Your dress is so thin that the cool temperature of the elevator wall sends a chill down your spine, making you regret having left your winter coat downstairs like everyone else.

The sound of music playing through the speakers just a little way higher in the elevator shaft reaches your ears and you take a deep breath. You remind yourself that parties are supposed to be fun and that you put all of this effort into looking hot as fuck, you need to find a way to enjoy the night. You tell yourself to be free and have a little fun, not to hide away in a corner refusing to have even one drink, and not to rush out of here before it’s been at least an hour.

When the elevator slows to a halt and starts filing out to join the lively, festive gathering ahead, your legs refuse to carry you forward. The lower half of your body hasn’t quite gotten the whole be free and have a little fun memo yet. Wanda shoots you a disapproving look paired with a small frown and shakes her head before reaching out and wrapping an arm around your waist. She pulls you along with her and suddenly, you’re immersed in Christmas music and Christmas cheer.

“Don’t be a buzzkill. Have a few drinks for once and loosen up, you’re can be the life of the party when you’re a little drunk.” Wanda commands, ushering you a few steps further away from the elevator. You’re about to remind her that she’s only ever seen you drunk once, and that it’s been over a year since then, but as soon as her eyes land on Vision across the room, she’s gone. You find yourself standing alone in your little burgundy dress. You take a moment to let your eyes roam over the crowd, noticing how almost everyone is in black or navy. You see a couple of women in forest green dresses, and even one in a dress that’s as white as snow, but no one else is wearing the same color as you. Damn. That’ll make it a little harder to blend in in the corner.

You let out a soft sigh before pushing your loosely curled hair back over your shoulder and turning to the left to head to the small bar. One drink. You can have one drink and pretend like you’re enjoying this before you make your great escape. Though the expansive room is quite crowded with people, the bar itself isn’t so bad. The bartender is quick to pass you your glass of whiskey neat as he shoots you a kind smile. You’re only one sip in when you notice the bartender’s eyes look past you, over your shoulder, at someone else. You await the inevitable approach of whoever it is that’s behind you as you savor the slight burn of the whiskey trickling down your throat.

“You showed.” Sam’s voice rings out from behind you. He steps up to the bar and rests his elbows on it, standing a little to your left. You turn to face him and find him grinning from ear to ear. His infectious smile has always made you feel a little more at ease, and so you find yourself relaxing the tiniest bit in his presence. You lift the glass to your lips and take a second sip. Sam studies you while he waits for a beer, taking in your deep burgundy dress and your quiet demeanor. He knows parties aren’t your thing, but he also knows you can be more fun than just about anyone he’s ever met when you have a little bit of alcohol coursing through your veins. It’s not that you need to drink to be a fun person, but you keep yourself so reined in, so on task most of the time, that you forget to live. When you drink, you let yourself relax a little and your guard goes down just enough for you to have a good time without overthinking it. “Whiskey neat?” Sam asks, eyeing your drink of choice. You nod your head and drag your fingertip around the rim of your glass, glancing down at the amber-colored liquid.

“I wanted to look mysterious and brooding. Holding a glass of whiskey makes a girl look mysterious and brooding, right?” You ask jokingly, giving Sam a small smile. He chuckles and stands up straight as the bartender presses a bottle of beer into his hand. He turns to fully face you now but his gaze continues to span across the room until it lands on a certain super soldier. Bucky stands tall beside one of the floor-to-ceiling windows, dressed in a well-fitted pair of black dress pants with an even better-fitted black button up adorning his torso. You take in the unusual sight of his vibranium arm on display. You’ve never seen him with his sleeves rolled up like this before. He looks a bit like a successful CEO of some company that earns him a few million dollars a year, especially with those gold accents in the crevices of his arm. You can’t seem to tear your gaze away from the man who you’ve been strategically avoiding at all costs.

“If you want to look mysterious and brooding, you should talk to the cyborg over there. He has that look down pat.” Sam says with a laugh. He won’t say it to either of you out loud, but Sam thinks you and Bucky are so similar that you could’ve been cut from the same cloth. He knows people say that opposites attract, but he has to wonder if that’s always the case. To anyone else, it would seem like you and Bucky hate each other, even though you work together so seamlessly in the field. Sam has witnessed an odd sort of vibe between the two of you multiple times before, something that walks a very thin line between hatred and sexual tension. Neither of you have ever given Sam enough solid evidence that it’s anything besides a mutual dislike, but he can tell. He may not know just how right he is about the two of you, but he knows something is there.

As if Bucky could feel your eyes on him, he turns his head ever-so-slightly and meets your gaze. His blue eyes are always so piercing, seeing right through you and making you feel on edge for absolutely no reason. The moment he looked at you was the moment you should’ve put your drink down and switched to water for the rest of the evening. But when Thor arrived a few moments later, bearing the gift of Asgardian liquor, you decided to drink your demons away for one night.

---

“What’s going on over there?” Sam’s question catches the attention of the small crowd of Avengers that are gathered around one end of the bar, as he points across the bar where you and Thor seem to be engaged in a more-than-friendly conversation. Sharon smiles deviously and Bucky’s jaw clenches, already hating where this is going.

“Thor’s trying to close the deal with her. He gave her a little Asgardian liquor, and I think it’s going to pay off for him.” She explains, lifting her colorful drink to her lips and taking a long sip. Bucky watches you closely for a moment, picking up on the fact that you’re definitely past tipsy. Thor is seated on a barstool and you stand in front of him, laughing at something he’s just said as he smiles down at you. Bucky’s jaw clenches again when he sees you playfully rest a hand on Thor’s knee. Bucky would like to think that your hand is there for balance, but he knows that’s not what this is. Not at all. He scoffs and finishes off his own glass of whiskey.

“It’s not going to pay off for him.” Bucky mumbles, trying to ignore the unfamiliar feeling that’s rising up in his chest. Jealousy. You wouldn’t go for a guy who’s shamelessly flirting with you after liquoring you up, just to get you into bed. You thrive off of banter, off of arguing with someone to the point of wanting to shut them up with your body. Bucky isn’t positive, but he’s fairly sure that he knows this about you. He picks up on the way you come alive when the two of you end up in a heated argument after a mission goes awry, he picks up on the way your frustration in the field brings about a different kind of tension between the two of you on the trips back to the compound. You aren’t the type to fall head over heels for a few compliments and a pretty face, even if the guy is a god. Thor would be too easy for you. And if Bucky has learned anything about you after butting heads with you for the past two months, it’s that you like a challenge more than anything.

“It looks like it is.” Sam claims, pointing a finger in your direction now. Bucky looks again and sees Thor leaning in close to you, whispering something in your ear that makes your cheeks a little more pink. He catches himself squeezing his whiskey glass so hard that it might’ve shattered if he hadn’t released it onto the bar. Thor rises from the barstool, towering over you by at least a foot, shoots you a suggestive look, and then walks past you. Everyone watches as he heads straight for the elevator, making a quick exit from the party, everyone except Bucky. He’s focused on you as you turn your whole body to see Thor walk away. It’s clear that he’s daring you to follow him out, to run off somewhere for a late-night rendezvous, anyone can see that. Sam and Sharon have seemingly lost interest in the situation at hand and they quickly dive into their own conversation. Bucky continues watching you closely, his eyes narrowed and zoned in on you, as you finish off your drink and set your glass down on the bar. When you finally look back up, you look straight at him. As soon as your eyes meet his, he notices the way every muscle in your body tenses. Fuck it.

His walk is confident, nearly cocky, and you can tell he’s seething. You watch him so carefully as he makes his way through the crowded room, noticing how everyone parts as soon as they see him coming. He’s clearly sporting a bit of a mood and no one here would dare be on the receiving end of that. As Bucky approaches you, his eyes bore into yours, with no trace of a smile or kind greeting to be found behind his blue eyes. You swallow hard, getting ready for one of his signature scoffs or briefly worded insults.

“Bucky—” You start, ready to diffuse whatever argument your sometimes-field partner is about to begin with you. He doesn’t even slow down as he nearly barrels into you, his vibranium hand wrapping around your wrist, forcing you away from the bar. He turns you around roughly and pushes you in front of him, straight through a corner door that he’s throwing open with his right hand. Suddenly, you’re immersed in even dimmer lights as he closes the door behind him, effectively shutting the two of you off from the rest of the party. His grip on your wrist loosens and you can smell the soft tinge of the same whiskey you’ve been drinking tonight on his lips. The music is muffled in here and it helps you get ahold of your thoughts before you turn to face the little shit that dragged you in here against your will. When you turn around, Bucky stands still in front of the door, his vibranium hand uncharacteristically unobscured by any sort of glove. It gleams in the low light and distracts you for a brief second, before you look up at him.

“What the hell, Bucky?” Your voice is raspy from the burn of the whiskey and Asgardian liquor. It feels a bit like you swallowed rocks, but the buzz it all gave you is worth it. As annoyed as you should be with Bucky right now for manhandling you like he’s anything but your occasional partner in the field, you can’t help but think about how fucking hot he looks tonight. His dark pants show off just how muscular his legs are, specifically his thighs. They also show off just how well-endowed he is in a different department, but you try hard not to think about that. Bucky catches you looking him up and down, unfortunately, as you’re not the slyest when you’ve been drinking liquor that works against even a super soldier’s metabolism.

“Eyes up here, sweetheart.” His tone is patronizing, but his words send an all-too-familiar heat rushing between your legs. You instinctively listen to him, shifting your eyes up to meet his. His command felt almost lustful to you but his gaze is harsh. Maybe you just felt like it was lustful because you wanted it to be. You do tend to get a little horny when you’ve been drinking, and with the Asgardian buzz, everything starts to seem a little porny. You swallow, closing your mouth and waiting for the man to say anything else. He takes his time choosing his words, as he lets his eyes rake over your body just like your eyes raked over his a moment ago. He didn’t get a good enough look at your dress when you were all the way across the bar, but now he’s decided that he fucking hates it.

“Bucky?” You prompt, tilting your head to the side, trying to get him to look in your eyes again. When he finally does, his gaze remains cold and harsh.

“You showed up at a party just to get drunk and go home with Thor?” He questions, his tone both accusing and condescending. You scoff, taking a step backward and crossing your arms over your chest. This small action lifts your breasts and you notice Bucky’s eyes briefly lower to steal a glance. God. He wishes he’d found a darker closet to force you into.

“Fuck you for that.” You spit back at him, narrowing your eyes and shooting daggers in his direction. He laughs lowly and watches as you wobble a bit on your heels, the buzz from the liquor developing into more of a state of drunkenness as your body struggles to metabolize it.

“You would fuck me. You’d fuck anyone after drinking what he gave you.” Bucky tosses out the insult with ease, a cocky smirk painted on his face. You run your hands through your hair, wondering when the room started tilting to one side.

“I wouldn’t fuck you, but anyone else maybe. What are we doing in here, James?” You ask, looking around the small, empty supply closet that you seem to be in. You take one step back and lean against the wall behind you for a little support. Bucky chuckles at the sight of you, making such an effort to fight off his insults and maintain your balance at the same time. He’s never really been around you when you’ve been drinking, and he finds it unbelievably amusing.

“Are you lying to yourself or just to me?” His voice is lower now, a little quieter and a lot more charged with something. You want to say it’s charged with lust, but again, the porny haze might just be from your own point of view. However, Bucky is feeling that porny haze in the air as well. Hell, Bucky’s the one creating it. You push his question to the back of your mind, focusing on what you want to know. If he would just hurry up and tell you why he forced you into a damn supply closet, you could walk out of here and head downstairs to find Thor and start having some real fun.

“Let’s try this one last time, what are we doing in here?” You repeat, pushing yourself away from the wall and stepping closer to him? You’re only a foot apart from each other now, and you can see him much better from this distance in the low lighting.

“I’m keeping you from making a stupid decision.”

“No, you’re kind of cockblocking, if you even know what that is.” You retort, rolling your eyes and turning to the left as you reach for the door handle. Bucky quickly reaches out with his flesh hand, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and forcing your arm away from the door. He doesn’t let go of your wrist this time.

“You’re not sleeping with him.” He says firmly. You look down at where he’s gripping your wrist before looking back up at him, narrowing your eyes once more.

“Why the hell do you think you get a vote?”

“I’m not voting, I’m vetoing it. You’re drunk.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, Barnes. Contrary to popular belief, I can take care of my damn self.” You snatch your hand away from him, thinking he’ll release his grip when you do, but he only tightens it and uses the leverage to pull you against him. Your chest crashes against his and you can feel his breath fan across your face. He smells like whiskey and light cologne, and his body heat emanates through his thin button-up shirt. A few less-than-holy thoughts speed through your mind. For a second, you worry he might be able to read your partially drunken thoughts with his intense stare. Bucky’s jaw clenches and he fights the urge to shove you against the wall and fuck you right here.

“Then go home and take care of yourself instead of letting that jackass do it for you.”

Did Bucky really just tell you to go home and get yourself off? You’re ninety-percent sure that that’s what he just alluded to. Okay, eighty-five percent sure since you’re not quite all there due to the obscene amount of alcohol you’ve consumed over the past hour. You feel a wave of heat spreading through your entire body, lighting your skin on fire. The point where Bucky’s hand is clasped around your wrist is especially on fire. You inhale a shaky breath, calming yourself down and trying to command your body to cooperate with you and cool down. Bucky smirks as he watches your attempt to gather yourself.

“I got all dressed up and drunk for sex, Barnes. I’m not letting my effort go to waste.” Bucky’s eyes are saying so many things at once, but you can’t figure out a damn word of it in your current state. All you can think about is him pressing you up against the wall right now. Maybe he’d be a little pliant since he’s also downed a good amount of whiskey tonight, and since he clearly suddenly thinks that he has a say in your sex life. You feel your drunken confidence, your alter ego, coming out to play. You smile now, pressing your lips together and softening your gaze as you drink in the sight of his steely gaze and unreadable expression. “If I can’t have sex with Thor, are you going to tell me who I can have sex with tonight?” Your words take him by surprise and he recoils, dropping your wrist and stepping back. You feel powerful now, making him step away with only your words.

“You really should just go home, sleep it off.” He says, trying once again to steer you in a safe direction. It’s not so much that he’s trying to steer you in a safe direction, but more that he’s trying to keep himself from having a reason to pick a fight with Thor. He doesn’t want his hands on you. He’s not letting it happen.

“I am so fucking tired of you always trying to protect me. What happened to the introverted ass who lived across the hall and skulked around the tower? He was way more bearable.”

“You like me way more now.” He states, narrowing his eyes at you. You shake your head quickly.

“You’re still an ass, but now you’re all confident and you know you’re hot and it’s unbearable.” You feel the regret as soon as the words leave your lips. You didn’t mean to say the part about him being hot.

“You think I’m hot?” He asks. He’s intrigued now, that cocky smirk once again gracing his face. You shrug your shoulders, reaching for the door again. He lets you grab the handle this time but he places a strong, firm hand against the door, at the height of your face, stopping you from opening it. He steps in close, his chest nearly brushing against your right arm and side as he leans down to your ear. “Answer the question.” A chill races down your spine, forcing you to close your eyes and draw in a deep, calming breath. Why is he being so damn authoritative all of a sudden?

“I’m drunk.”

“Which just means that you have no filter. So, answer the question.” He keeps his hand firmly planted against the door and you know he won’t let you out of here until he gets his answer.

“Yes.” You answer as nonchalantly as possible, turning your head to him. You’re a mere inch apart now, his lips hovering so teasingly in front of yours and his eyes staring into your soul.

“You’re not leaving with him.” He states. His tongue darts out, licking his bottom lip and narrowly missing yours. You can’t stop yourself from looking at his lips, especially his bottom lip that’s now moistened right in front of you.

“You can’t tell me what to do.” You slur your words, pushing your hands against his chest and forcing him back a couple of small steps. You march yourself out of the closet now, leaving him behind, but your mind still seems to be stuck on the image of his lips. You should’ve just kissed him. Who could have blamed you if you did kiss him? Asgardian liquor gives everything such a sexual energy for some reason.

Bucky can’t stop himself from keeping a watchful eye on you for the rest of the party. After you got away from him, you headed off to dance and drink even more with Sharon. As long as you don’t sneak off to wherever Thor went, he really doesn’t give a shit what you do. Or maybe he does. He isn’t quite sure why he suddenly gives a shit. Why were you so set on having sex with someone tonight? And why did it seem like you didn’t even care who it was going to be? That doesn’t seem like you at all, having a meaningless one-night stand with whoever happens to be up for one.

Bucky’s mind keeps mulling over the fact that you practically called him hot. Well, you said yes when he asked if you thought he was hot. Maybe you’re more bold and honest when you’re drunk. Or maybe you’re just a liar when you’re drunk. Either way, Bucky can’t get it out of his head.

“Yo, cyborg, you in there?” Sam waves his arm in the air, drawing Bucky’s attention out of his thoughts and back to the present conversation.

“What?”

“Which one of us is going to offer the girls a ride home? They’re both way too drunk to drive.” Sam asks. Bucky scoffs. Like you’ll accept a ride from either one of them with how independent you try to be and how especially stubborn you’re already being tonight. Sam distracted Bucky just for a moment, so he didn’t notice you and Sharon heading over to join the group in the sitting area of the lavish room.

As they round the side of the couch, Sharon takes the only space on the couch between Sam and Clint, leaving you to stand beside the couch, steadying yourself on the arm of it.

“We were just talking about you two.” Sam says to you both with a grin, glancing at Sharon first and then up at you. Bucky notices you trying a little too hard to remain in a steady and upright position, but he knows if he stands up and offers you his chair, you’ll absolutely refuse to take it.

“Are you going back to the tower tonight, Y/n?” Clint wonders aloud, focusing his eyes on you. Bucky can tell that Clint also notices your unusual difficulty with balance, but he doesn’t seem very concerned. Clint’s seen her drunk before, so he’s actually used to this side of you. You laugh and shake your head, your curls softer and looser than when Bucky first saw you a little while ago.

“No way, I’m staying with Sharon tonight.” You answer. You looks down at her feet for a brief second and Bucky can tell it’s because your heels are hurting your feet, but you’re not the kind of girl to take your shoes off and walk around barefoot in public.

“Come on, you can’t both be on your own this drunk.” Clint argues, looking to Bucky and Sam for support. Sam catches his drift and takes on a slightly more serious expression before looking up at you. You shake your head once again, rolling your eyes before turning your head and narrowing them at Bucky.

“I wouldn’t even be going home with Sharon if Sergeant Barnes over here hadn’t made me miss my chance with someone.” You say coldly, your eyes once again shooting daggers at Bucky. Sam and Clint turn their attention to Bucky now, and Sharon lets out a hearty laugh.

“Yeah, I heard you vetoed her potential one-night stand.” Sharon’s voice is full of amusement.

“I did you a favor.” Bucky scoffs, returning your hard stare with one of his own. You saunter over to him now, maintaining your balance well enough to seat your pretty little ass on the arm of the chair he’s in. You cross your legs at the knee, causing your already short dress to ride even further up your thighs. Bucky’s vibranium hand that rests on the arm of the chair is only inches behind your ass. He forces himself to look past you, at Sam, who is clearly very entertained by this whole situation.

“Sam, is cockblocking ever a favor?” You ask, seeking validation for your little tantrum over Bucky stopping you from leaving with Thor. Sam shakes his head, looking up at you with a joking frown.

“Never. Friends don’t stop friends from getting theirs.” Sam answers, shooting Bucky another look. He’s implying to Bucky that you and him must not simply be friends if he stopped you from sleeping with Thor tonight. You clap your hands together once before pushing yourself off of his chair and taking two steps toward the couch, you turn yourself effortlessly and take a seat on Sam’s right knee, which doesn’t even seem to faze him. Bucky watches as Sam places a hand on your back to keep you steadied there. His jaw clenches and his vibranium hand coils into a fist.

“See, Bucky, you’ll have to make it up to me.” Your tone can only be described as flirty and suggestive, but only Sam and Bucky seem to pick up on it. Sam raises an eyebrow at the seething super soldier, awaiting his response. He cocks his head to the side, thinking of a way to play this smart.

“Next time Fury pits us against each other in training…” Bucky starts, leaning forward in the chair and resting his elbows on his knees before continuing. “I’ll let you win.”

“No thanks, I kicked your ass last time. I don’t need you to let me win.” You narrow your eyes at him once again, before turning to Sam, Sharon, and Clint. “Sam remembers that, right Sam?” Sam nods vigorously, a smile creeping across his face as the memory plays through his head.

“I would’ve loved to have seen it.” Sharon pipes up, leaning against Sam’s shoulder now. Damn, he’s looking like he’s such a ladies’ man tonight. Bucky considers taking a picture for him so the memory lasts. Wanda and Vision join the group, Wanda perching herself on the armrest next to Clint’s side of the couch and Vision standing beside her, keeping a hand on her back. “Oh, I have the best idea.” Sharon suddenly sounds like a child, and she’s clearly about to say something ridiculously stupid. “We should play truth or dare.”

---

“If we’re doing this, we’re doing this the fair way.” Sam asserts. Clint quickly took his leave before the game was agreed upon, claiming that it was already way past his bedtime and he had to check in with his wife and kids over the phone before they all fall asleep. Wanda and Vision filled his vacant spot on the couch.

You feel the effects of the alcohol that you consumed earlier slowly making its way through your system and losing its potency as it’s metabolized. You still feel a good bit of drunkenness from the Asgardian liquor, and you really wonder how long that will take to clear your system. “We alternate between truth and dare, spinning the bottle to pick who takes the turn.” Sam places an empty beer bottle on the coffee table before us all, his hand briefly leaving your back when he leans forward to do so. As he rests back against the couch again, his hand finds its way to your middle back again. Sitting on his knee like this is starting to make it feel like your ass is falling asleep, and if your ass is falling asleep then your legs won’t be far behind.

“Truth.” Sharon calls out for the first turn, reaching out to spin the bottle and get the game going. You stand up from Sam’s knee and switch to sitting on the floor on your knees. Your dress is sitting dangerously high on your thighs now. You glance around the circle at everyone. Sam, Sharon, Wanda, Vision, and Torres, who joined when Clint left, all keep their eyes trained on the spinning bottle. Bucky, however, is looking right at you. He probably wishes you would’ve gone home and taken care of yourself like he told you to earlier. What a jackass. The bottle slows to a stop, the lip of it pointing at Wanda. “Wanda!” Sharon yells out, excited by her first victim. “Does Vision have a dick?” The question sends the group into an uproar, but Wanda only laughs.

“Yes.” She answers, keeping it short and simple.

“Are follow-up questions allowed?” Sharon quickly asks, turning to look at Sam.

“Only if the bottle lands on that person again and it’s a turn for truth.” He clarifies. Sharon scoffs, rolling her eyes.

“That’s no fun at all.” She complains. You watch as Wanda leans into Vision’s ear and whispers something, something that makes him smile and nuzzle against her cheek ever so slightly. God, they’re sickeningly adorable. Wanda breaks away from him for a moment to spin the bottle, calling out dare as it begins to spin. Of course, it lands on you.

“Wanda, we’re friends.” You remind her. You doubt she would make you do anything too crazy, knowing her, but if she’s been drinking and isn’t her normal self tonight, she might be a little adventurous. Mischief gleams behind her eyes and you know you’re in trouble. This game is starting to feel a bit sobering.

“I dare you to sit on Bucky’s lap for the rest of the game.”

“Wanda!” You yell out, an annoyed tone to your voice and a glare painted across your face. “That has to be against the rules. What if he doesn’t want to participate?” You try to talk your way out of it, looking to Sam now since he seems to be in charge of the rules here. He thinks for a second, looking at you and then up at Bucky. Bucky’s expression is stoic, as unreadable as ever as he stares back at Sam.

“I’ll allow it.” Sam decides, smirking at Bucky. You groan, pushing yourself up from the floor but refusing to make eye contact with Bucky. You move a few steps toward him and sit on his knee, just like you sat on Sam’s earlier.

“Oh, no. That’s not his lap.” Wanda points out, waving her hand at you, gesturing for you to move in closer to his body.

“Fuck you, Wanda.” You say evenly, before fully sitting on Bucky’s lap as he straightens up in the chair a bit. You’re basically sitting right on his crotch, and slightly to his left so his vibranium arm is sitting on the armrest behind your back. You feel him take a deep breath and his exhale fans across your right arm. You avoid turning to look at him. The more you think about it, you’re still really annoyed that he felt like he could tell you not to sleep with someone tonight. You’re even more annoyed with yourself for listening. You should have just kept your original plan and left with Thor. You offer Wanda one last glare, making her laugh and lean closer into Vision. She mouths the words get over it before drawing a heart in the air with her fingers, her way of apologizing to you and saying it isn’t that serious. You know it’s not that serious but you also know what she’s doing. She thinks if you’d just hook up with him once, Bucky and you would get rid of whatever tension is between you and you could be regular partners in the field, as casual and unproblematic as when you work with Clint or Sam. But this isn’t some movie where the two main characters fuck their feelings away and stay friends in the end, hell, there aren’t even any feelings to fuck away here. You’re still barely even friends. You just work together.

You lean forward in Bucky’s lap, away from his body, and spin the bottle, calling out truth before leaning back again. You lean a little too far back, your balance still not perfect due to the alcohol coursing through your veins. The exposed skin of your back in your low-cut dress brushes against his left chest and vibranium arm and his cold metal hand quickly slips behind you, resting on the skin of your back and steadying you. He clearly doesn’t want you sitting any closer than you have to for this dare. Once you’re steady, you expect him to put his hand back on the armrest of the chair, but he doesn’t. He keeps it firmly planted on your back, his vibranium fingers reflecting your body heat and warming up ever-so-slightly. You find the touch comforting and you feel yourself relaxing a little bit. This definitely beats sitting on the floor.

“Sharon!” Sam hollers, tapping her knee that’s closest to him on the couch and then clapping his hands excitedly. “This is going to be good. What do you want to know about her, Y/n?” The bottle points straight at her, and she seems more than ready for whatever you might ask. You think for a moment, with everyone’s attention focused on you, expecting you to come up with something good.

“Was Steve a good kisser?” Bucky lets out a quiet, low chuckle at your question. You can tell he’s trying to seem like he’s not overly enjoying this game, but you know he’s getting at least a little kick out of it. His hand is still on your back and you don’t think he plans to move it anytime soon. You focus on it a little too much, noticing the way his pinky finger rests lightly just an inch above your ass.

“Yeah, he knew what he was doing, that’s for sure. You never would’ve known he hadn’t had any real practice in the last few decades.” She admits. She’s not even trying to hide her smile as the memory of Steve comes to the forefront of her mind. “You know how sometimes guys either do too much with their tongue, or not enough?” You and Wanda both nod, while the four men in the group look on at you, obviously intrigued by the topic. “He did exactly enough.”

“Wow, who taught him the half-tongue rule?” Wanda questions jokingly.

“The half-tongue rule?” Torres sounds genuinely curious. He can be so adorable sometimes, so clueless for someone so unbelievably smart.

“For a good makeout session, you should never put more than half of your tongue in the other person’s mouth.” Sharon explains. Torres nods as she explains, as if he’s absorbing the information and storing it for later use. “Okay, this one is going to be good.” Sharon announces, her eyes darting around the group for her next victim as she sends the bottle into a rotation. You get distracted for a moment when Bucky’s vibranium thumb rubs a small circle against your lower back, so softly that you question if it’s even happening.

“White Wolf…” Sharon tsks. A look that you can only describe as evil takes over her features and she grins as she stares Bucky down. You didn’t notice that the bottle landed on him at first. He continues rubbing those small circles with his thumb and you’re really wondering what the hell he’s doing, but you don’t want to draw attention to it. “I dare you to demonstrate the half-tongue rule with your partner there.” Sharon points right at me. You swallow hard and shake your head, but you can feel Bucky’s lack of any reaction behind you. He doesn’t so much as take a deep breath or shift in his seat at the threat of the dare.

“Wait, what are the stakes if they don’t?” Vision asks, looking around the group for an answer.

“You have to answer three truths in a row, hard ones.” Sharon decides, looking to Sam for approval and he nods quickly. You see him shoot Bucky a look, you can’t tell what it is but it’s insinuating something. He knows Bucky would refuse to answer three hard questions about himself, so it’s way less likely that he’ll refuse a dare.

“And what if the person the dare involves refuses to participate?” Wanda asks, smiling at you with fake sweetness. You see what she’s doing and you’re mentally kicking her for it. She wants to know what punishment you’ll face if you refuse to let Bucky complete this dare with you.

“Same thing, I guess.” Sam answers quickly. You don’t have a problem with answering truths, but with the direction Sharon and Wanda have been taking this game, it might be a dangerous thing to get yourself into. Who knows what they would ask at this point?

“So? Are you guys going to demonstrate the half-tongue rule or can we ask you both three questions?” Sharon prompts, her eyes flitting between you both. You finally turn and look at Bucky, but as your ass moves against his lap slightly, he presses his vibranium hand flat against your lower back, attempting to still you. He looks up at you, his eyes searching yours to see what your answer will be.

“Come on, we’ve all seen you kiss on undercover ops before, it’s just like that.” Wanda chimes in, trying to get the group what they want. You tune her out, waiting for Bucky to speak up and say he won’t do it, that this is childish and silly and you’re all adults. You know you’re in trouble when he cocks his head to the right and his lips curl into that smirk that you’ve grown so used to seeing on him.

“Why aren’t you backing down from this?” You ask quietly so only he can hear you. Everyone is staring at you, anticipating either a kiss or a white flag of surrender.

“Why aren’t you?” He licks his bottom lip and for the second time tonight, you think about how much you want that lip pressed between your own. Fuck Thor for giving you that drink.

You honestly couldn’t say who started it. You couldn’t say how long it lasted. But when you leaned into him and his left hand found it’s place on your hip while his right snaked up to your hair and pulled your face against his, you were lost in the moment. His lips moved against yours like it was a dance, something spontaneous and straight out of a movie, your heads tilting in opposite directions to give each other exactly enough leverage and access. His tongue swept across your bottom lip, waiting for you to part your lips and grant access. You hesitated, just for a second, but he noticed it and tugged on your hair, making you open your mouth just slightly, just enough for him to slip his tongue in and caress your own. Fuck, he tasted so good, like whiskey and lust and everything you wore this dress for tonight. Your entire body feels like it’s sparking with electricity everywhere that he’s touching you, where your ass is against his lap, where his hand is on your hip, where his hand is tangled in your hair. You sit now, still in the position you just kissed in, but with only your foreheads pressed together, your mouths inhaling and exhaling within an inch each other. He's probably breathing heavy from the effort and lack of air but you’re breathing heavy from the fucking horny tailspin he’s just sent your body into. It’s taking everything in you not to ask him for more.

“Holy shit, that was porn.” Torres says, sounding both impressed and surprised.

“How do two people who barely get along kiss each other like that?” Sam demands to know, and you can feel his stare boring into the back of your head.

“You remember what we all do for a living, right Sam?” You ask, pulling away from Bucky’s embrace and turning back around to face the rest of the group. You get more comfortable now, leaning against Bucky as he stretches his arms out on both of the armrests and sinks into the chair a bit. You’re both more at ease now, as if the kiss melted away some of the tension. The group raves over the kiss, and what they think was chemistry, rather than simply two experienced operatives who happen to be good kissers being forced into a situation together. Bucky, ready for the moment to be over with, grabs your left hip with his vibranium hand to hold you steady as he leans forward and spins the bottle. The shift in position reveals something, or more makes you feel something. His hard cock pressing against your right thigh. You turn your head to look down at him as he’s leaning back in the chair again and he makes eye contact with you, his smirk from earlier gone and his expression once again one of indifference. God, he’s really fucking good at acting like nothing fazes him.

“Sam, tell us about your last date.” Bucky says, his eyes still locked on yours. He must’ve seen the bottle spin to a stop in his peripheral vision. As Sam reluctantly begins to tell his tale, capturing everyone’s attention but yours and Bucky’s, you turn to the group once more and lean against Bucky again.

“Something in your pocket?” You question jokingly under your breath, still feeling his boner present underneath you.

“Stop talking.” He responds just as quietly, his tone sending a chill through your body. Why is it so fucking hot when he talks to you like that? It should infuriate you, the way he warns you and acts so demanding and in charge. Instead, all you can think about is him talking to you like that in bed. You swear, after tonight, you’ll never touch Asgardian liquor again.

The game continued on for another half an hour before the party began dwindling down until only about twenty or so guests were left. You still sit comfortably on Bucky’s lap, his dick as hard as it was when you kissed earlier, and yourself no less inebriated than you were then.

You shift on his lap, a little worried that you might be putting his left leg to sleep. Suddenly, you feel his hands on both of your hips, gripping you tightly and stilling you instantly. The room is still fairly dark and noisy with the music and drunken conversations that are being held all around, so you doubt anyone will notice his sudden shift in position.

“Don’t move.” He groans lowly in your ear, leaning forward so his chest presses firmly against your back. You stiffen against him, your eyes closing for a second as his voice and touch once again send your senses into overdrive. The game ended five minutes ago, so you should really get off of his lap now. Your phone, which currently sits on the coffee table in front of you vibrates and as Bucky sits back in the chair again, you let out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. You know he heard your phone vibrate, so hopefully he doesn’t mind you leaning forward to grab it.

Sharon: Are you staying with me tonight or going back to the tower?

“You’re staying in the tower.” Bucky says, clearly reading the message over your shoulder. You push yourself out of his lap now, turning around to face him as he adjusts his suit pants and sits up a little straighter to hide the situation going on in his pants.

“That’s the second time tonight that you’ve tried to make decisions for me.” You point out, staring down at him. Really, who does he think he is? He’s always seemed overly confident to you, but trying to tell you who you can’t sleep with and now where you’re spending your night? He’s crossing lines left and right. You watch him carefully from a short distance as his gaze follows Sam and Sharon, who are saying goodbye to a few friends near the elevator. Sam offered to drive Sharon home, since she definitely can’t be trusted to get herself there safely.

“You listened to me the first time.” Bucky says confidently, shifting his gaze back to you now, but keeping a serious expression on his face rather than the playful, cocky one that you know so well on him.

“Did I? Because I remember you telling me to go home and take care of myself, and I haven’t done that.” You glance down at your phone to text Sharon back while you wait for whatever smart ass reply Bucky is going to spew out next. You’re just about to text her and say that you’d love to have a sleepover when you hear Bucky’s low, sure-of-himself laugh. You look at him once more, your thumbs hovering over your phone screen. The way he looks in that chair, with that fucking smirk slowly taking over his features, makes you rethink what you were about to say to Sharon.

“Yet.”

---

Everything smells like him. And why wouldn’t it? You’re in his room, lying on his bed, with him standing just a few feet from the foot of the bed, his eyes roaming over every inch of your body. You still have your dress on but you feel naked in front of him like this.

“Are you getting shy on me now?” Bucky taunts, mischief gleaming behind his eyes as he takes in your timid expression and flushed cheeks. Sam chose to drive Sharon all the way back to her apartment across town, while Bucky quickly stepped up to give you a ride back to the tower. Somehow, along the way, the truth or dare game continued until you ended up accepting a dare to do exactly what Bucky said, to go home and take care of yourself. However, the dare came with a new stipulation: you had to take care of yourself while he watched.

“Yeah, I’m shy.” You respond sarcastically, pushing yourself off of his bed and trekking across the room to stand immediately in front of him. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he hopes the stance hides the racing of his heart from you. The stance most definitely doesn’t hide the raging boner straining against the front of his dress pants though. There probably isn’t a pair of pants in the world that could hide something so prominent. You stand close to Bucky, breathing in his intoxicating scent for a moment before closing your eyes and letting a serene smile cross your lips.

Bucky stands frozen when you begin slipping the straps of your dress down your shoulders. The muscle along the side of his jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth together when you reach back and easily unzip your dress. And when you finally let the small piece of burgundy fabric fall the the floor? Hell, he’s done for.

You open your eyes once you’re fully exposed to him, peering up at him with the most innocent look you can muster.

“Fuck this.” Bucky grumbles, losing every ounce of self-control he was harnessing as his hands grasp the sides of your face and he kisses you with so much desperation that you feel something awaken inside you. He uses the same move from earlier, tugging on the hair at the nape of your neck to get you to part your lips enough for him to taste your mouth. Fuck, you taste like his favorite whiskey. Your body moves on auto-pilot as Bucky walks you backward until the backs of your knees hit the mattress. With a less-than-gentle shove, Bucky sends you falling onto his bed. His hungry eyes travel all over your skin, over the perfect peaks of your breasts, the smooth skin along your abdomen that leads him straight down to what he needs most right now. Your cunt.

The way he’s looking at you can only be described in one way: animalistic. You’re sure he’s going to be back on top of you within seconds, but no, this fucking man sinks to his knees on the floor at the foot of the bed. He effortlessly lifts your legs over his shoulders, and then leans into you, kissing your clit so softly that you whimper. With all of the tension between the two of you tonight, you wouldn’t have expected him to be so gentle.

“You taste so fucking good.” Bucky groans against your folds, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses all the way down until he reaches your entrance. That’s when he stops being so gentle. That’s when he steals a glance at you, taking in the way your chest heaves with arousal and the way your hands are already gripping his bedsheets. That’s when he can’t stop himself from plunging two thick fingers into you and curling them, letting his fingertips drag against the walls of your pussy.

“Bucky!” You cry out, your back arching off the bed and thighs shaking over his shoulders.

“You could’ve taken care of yourself.” He reminds you, setting a relentless pace with his hand. He fucks those two fingers in and out, in and out, in and out. Every move he makes ignites your nerve endings more and more, until your nervous system is nearing a damn firework show. “You could’ve laid here and gotten yourself off for me.”

The moans and curses falling from your lips are nothing short of sinful, and every sound sends another rush of blood straight to Bucky’s already-hard cock.

“You’re so fucking stubborn. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You wanted to end up in my bed tonight.” His voice is dripping with lust and you can almost hear the smirk that’s surely painted across his face as you come undone at his hands.

“Bucky…” You can’t say a damn thing except for his name. Even as he finger fucks you straight through your orgasm, and starts slowing down his movements, you can’t form a single word in your mind.

“Look at you.” Bucky coos, sliding his fingers out of your pussy one last time. You’re lying there so still with your eyes still scrunched closed. You completely miss the way Bucky closes his own eyes as his sucks the taste of you off of his fingers. He knows he should’ve held you to the dare and made you get yourself off. He never should’ve tasted you. He never should’ve felt how tight and wet your pussy is for him.

Now that he knows how sweet you taste, how nicely your pussy would fit around his cock, how fucking perfect you sound when you’re cumming for him, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to let you leave his room.

TAG LIST:

@gyokujyn @mrsjoequinn @thealloveru2 @sunnyhummingbee @jenniferpendragon @siciliano13

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #mcu #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x you #marvel #the winter soldier #winter soldier #12 days of smut

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imyourbratzdoll · 1 year

Note

May i request a fic with a plus size reader and beefy beefy ari.

back story :So tr has always been made fun of because of their weight so as tr got older they got self conscious about their body.

One day the reader was sitting on like the couch and ari had dropped his phone under and he need to move the couch to grab it so he didn’t and while he was pushing it tr thought it sounded like he was struggling punching the couch because they were on it. (you can add more to this part or whatever you’d like suga) so as the week go one tr always hurry to like move when are drops stuff under couches or they always refuse ari to push their chair in or stuff like picking them up to grab something off the counter. ari start to realize and confront tr , tr tell ari and maybe add smut or soft smut or cuddling up to you.

( this was kinda just like the spine of the request you can added anything or remove anything. ps ily and you blog 😘🫶🏼)

hey baby, I love you too! I hope you like this. this is my second plus size fic, I hope I did a good job at it, and also, remember you are all beautiful, no matter what size, shape, look, etc.

summary - you become self-conscious after your boyfriend does something, causing him to let you know how much he loves you.

warning - angst, self-doubt, body shaming.

the gif I use isn't mine, divider by @newlips

You didn’t know how the day would turn out. When your boyfriend dropped his phone, you had thought he’d ask you to move or get on his hands and knees to try and get it. You weren’t expecting him to lift the whole couch with you still on it, and tears are brought to your eyes as he grunts. You would’ve moved if he had asked. You didn’t want to cause him harm. When Ari gently drops the couch to the ground, he tucks his phone into his pants and smiles at you softly. His hand comes up, and he brushes his hair back, sits next to you and gets a movie ready.

Days went by, and every time Ari would try and move something that you were on top of or push you in. You’d quickly jump up and move out of his way or pull the seat in yourself. You knew you were pushing it when Ari asked you on a date and then asked you to be his girlfriend. Ari was out of your league. You knew it. Everyone knew it. It was only a matter of time before he realised he could get someone better, someone thinner. You didn’t miss how his coworkers hung off of him and how he didn’t push them away, or the women that lived on your street, or any female in the world that you came across. They all looked at you like you were a problem, wondering how someone like him could want someone like you.

You had begun to pull away from Ari, hiding your body more, not wanting to get in his way or become a burden. Now, Ari wasn’t small. He was practically a giant, and he was bigger than you. But still, you were sure he would benefit from having someone better than you, someone who could do the things he does without having to feel self-conscious or hide their body. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice Ari starting to put the pieces together and realise something was wrong. He watched you, catching that you had been covering up more, distancing yourself from him.

Ari walks over, clearing his throat. “Baby, why are you avoiding me?” You wouldn’t expect a man his size to have the saddest eyes or the softest expression as he stares down at you. He missed when you’d let him hold you, missed you.

You blink and squirm in your seat. Opening and closing your mouth as you try and come up with an explanation, not expecting Ari to notice, but then again. Ari was very observant and caring, and he wouldn’t let you be upset by yourself. “I, uh… I just don’t want to be a burden… Especially when it comes to you lifting things or pushing things in while I’m on it.” You squeak as Ari tackles you into the couch, gripping your face in his hands.

“Baby, you know I don’t care about your weight, and you aren’t even heavy! I’m guessing you’re referring to the day I lifted the couch to grab my phone?” You nod, trying to avoid his eyes until he squeezes your cheeks. “I didn’t grunt because you were on it. I grunted 'cause I saw up your dress while I was doing it and realised I had to be careful not to drop the damn thing.” You stare at him with wide eyes. “That’s not the only thing, is it? There’s more.”

You whimper, feeling tears form as you shake your head. “I–I… Why are you with me, Ari? Why me and not the women who want you? I’ve seen how you enjoy their attention. Why me?” Ari can feel his heartbreak and tears well in his eyes at your words, wondering what he had done wrong for you to think that.

“Oh, baby.” He buries his face into your neck, holding you close. “You’re so special, so much better than any other woman. I barely pay attention to them, trust me. My mind is always on you. I love you too much to want someone else.” He presses a bruising kiss to your lips, a few tears slipping.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

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katz-chow · 3 months

Text

not yet...

synopsis: john price is a very patient man. warnings: 18+ i will block ageless & minor blogs. soft dom price, gn!reader, (pretty extreme?) edging and denial, bondage, gags, face fucking, remote control vibrator, messy reader

a/n: horny, ovulation, womp womp.

thinking about how strictdom!price would definitely be in control of your orgasms.

how he would most definitely edge and denial you for hours maybe even days if he feels like it. it’s not your fault, it never is—you’re always his good play thing, so obedient. but he wants to have his fun too.

so when you give him the greenlight, he ties you up with a spreader bar, standing up against the wall. i think when he wants to be mean, he loves bondage. gags, especially ring gags so your spit just drips out and he can stick his fingers into your mouth, gathering it up and using it as live against your hard nipples.

standing there, hands tied up behind your back, drool rubbing down your sternum and stomach, and legs spread so far apart that your slick is falling in a string down onto the hardwood.

his fingers trail down from your nipples and he finally touches you, your legs buckling. his thigh lands in between yours, keeping one of your legs up and pinned against the wall.

then off goes one edge, you’re panting already, eyes hazy and whimpers loud, having no way to silence them.

then another.

and another

“come on baby, it’s just one more…”

“precious baby, look at you go. how many was that? 7? 8? aw…all swollen and desperate for my touch”

you whimper as tears flow down your face and saliva continue to accumulate on your chest, drying and then gathering again in a messy, dirty cycle.

you can hardly feel your legs another, mindlessly just standing as the cool air calms down your nerves. it’s extra sensitive now and you’re so desperate, knowing that just a few more minutes and that dam of heat in your stomach will break and burst.

panting, his hands find that specific spot again and your eyes roll back, knees buckling like a newborn fawn. your eyes trail him as your head leaned back against the hard wall, pleading him.

and just as you’re about to cum, his hand pulls away and you let out a cry, so understimulated and overstimulated that it’s all so confusing. you watch him intently as price’s lips meet the top of your head as his hands undo the knot that keeps your own locked up and away

you’re confused, aching, and utterly confused when he undos all your ties and gag and carries you into the bathroom, cooing praises and affirmations.

but you’re tired and so you nuzzle up against him, as he draws you a bath.

two days after that, you found yourself on a similar position, hogtied with your head at the edge of the bed.

price got more creative the next time around, finding the softest red rope he could find and tying you up in beautiful, intricate knots only a military man could do...oh wait.

you whimpers as his cock slips into your mouth, your gag was gone today which meant 1.) your jaw isn't sore anymore but also 2.) he's making you say things to get what you want.

"say it baby, say how much you want my cum in you" he looks down at you as his hand grips your hair, yanking your head up to look at him. you're too dazed to look at him fully, eyes hazy and lustful as he denies your orgasm until the number reaches double digits. it was getting harder and harder to even pay attention to his words, the remote-controlled vibe buzzing wildly in between your tied legs.

but just as you were about to cum, he stops it with his other hand on the control. you cry as tears flow freely down your face.

"you didn't answer me...too bad, darling, was feeling nice that time."

you whine and try to inch closer to him, nuzzling his slick cock onto your cheek as an apology. "i need you, please..."

another bubble bath was drawn soon after that.

third day and things were different, no more ropes, gags, vibrators, nothing anymore.

just you say on the john's lap, his lips nuzzled into the crook of your neck as his fingers play around with you, using your sensitive and eager slick as lube. every stroke, every feather-light glaze of his fingers tips and you were so so close to cumming, it felt embarrassing. like you've never been touched by him before, but you have over a hundred times now. if anything he can't keep his hands off of you.

unbeknownst to you, you not cumming was driving him crazy as well. the caretaker role that he lets take over him is screaming as you're left unsatisfied every night before now. but the primal, strict captain in him rejoices whenever he sees you beg, repeating a string of "please" and his name over and over like a prayer. god, it gives him chills. when you cry and throw yourself into his embrace, humping his thigh or arm, so desperate to get off... he feels bad, just a tad bit.

so now he has you gently held in his arms as your nails dig into his skin, feeling so so sensitive. you cry as he stop, begging for more, yet when he does touch you, it feels so overwhelming you beg him to stop. you're confused and your dumb little brain can't process it. he's just trying to make you feel good...

but then he finds the right pace and then the right pressure and you feel his chest rumble with a chuckle as you finally melt into his embrace and rub up against him, panting and letting moans fill your shared bedroom.

"making you feel so good yeah? going so light and gentle yet you're squirming already...gonna cum for me?" john cooed as his pace and pressure stayed consistent, even as your back arches and sweat covers your body.

you feel the familiar feeling at your lower stomach, the burning, cracking fire that's about to burst. more begging and whimpers fall from your lips as his hand continues. you're ready for him to stop, to leave you hanging, messy and slick coating you.

but the arm around your waist holds you still as his pace remains the same. you whimper, "g-gonna cum...fuck!"

he kisses and nibbles the tip of your ear as you scream, your orgasm finally, finally rupturing through you. you feel your back arch as your head digs into john's chest, mouth hanging open as your body tenses up.

the orgasm washing through you for what seems like ages before you can register anything again. the first thing you noticed was the lingering of john's cologne that you hadn't noticed when he had you strip in front of him. and how soft his hands were, holding onto the flesh of your stomach and thigh as he grounds you. and then you hear his voice.

"it's okay, love...poor thing. didn't that feel good, hm?"

you nod, absent-mindly as he holds you close, dragging a throw blanket over you as hooks an arm under your legs to turn you that he's cradling you. he gives you a kiss on your cheek, then your nose, and then a long, soft one on your lips, before one on your forehead, inhaling your scent.

master list | letter box | main directory

drop by the letter box!

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zoyaofthegardvn · 1 year

Text

Clingy

In which reader overhears Mor say something not too nice about her... miscommunication enuses!

A/N: Just because I wanted to write some angst! Not too much, though, lol, I only write happy endings on this blog! :)

CW: None! Angst to fluff!

The day had been long, and tiring. You worked at a school in the Night Court, specifically with children ages 5-10. Winter Solstice was approaching, and today was the last day before school was out for a bit of a break. Little ones were so, so antsy about the holiday, and it didn't help that snow had been coming down fast and hard all day, increasing the anxiousness to be released for the break. It was hard to wrangle them all and get them to pay attention to the day's lesson, because truly, you didn't want to spoil their fun.

But finally, the day was over. The children were home with their families for a few weeks, likely already out enjoying the winter wonderland in the glittering Velaris. As beautiful as you thought it was, all you really wanted was to be back home with your mate, wrapped up under the blankets together.

First, though, you had to meet her at the River House, where you know she had been meeting with other members of the Inner Circle to discuss an upcoming visit to the Court of Nightmares. It was only Feyre, Nesta, and Rhys, as Cassian, Amren, and Azriel were all on other diplomatic trips, preparing for the large gathering planned for the upcoming new year.

After winnowing to the front yard, you trudged through the thick snow, not bothering to knock before entering the large estate. It was quiet, Nyx likely occupied with Elain while the others conversed. You could hear their muffled voices coming from the center of the house, where Rhys' office was located.

You weren't trying to be especially quiet, but you also hadn't announced your arrival, either.

The doors to his office were closed, dim light seeping from underneath. As you got closer, you heard someone, maybe Feyre, mention your name.

This, of course, grabbed your attention, and you tiptoed forward gently to listen to what they were saying. Just a few steps away, you heard Nesta ask, "How are you two doing?"

The question wasn't odd as the two of you had just moved in together, so it was only natural that your friends wanted to know how this new stage in your lives was going.

Mor sighed before responding, "It's good."

This made your brows furrow, because if they had asked you, you would have replied that it was amazing, one of the best experiences of your life. You'd have said how much closer to her you felt, how much more in love with her you've fallen and how you can't wait to spend the rest of your lives together.

But, you knew that Mor did tend to keep her romantic life more private than some of the other members of the Inner Circle, just rivaling Amren. She trusted them with her life, of course, but it didn't erase the centuries she'd spent learning to be incredibly cautious with and protective of any love in her life.

There were just some things she preferred to keep private, being honest with these kinds of emotions has always been more difficult for her.

But, still, you wondered if maybe things weren't as perfect for her as they were for you.

You take another step closer, turning your ear to the door. Rhys chuckles, saying, "Just good? You're finally in a place to yourselves and it's just good? What happened to the Mor and Y/N I know, that were always complaining about living with," Rhys pauses, and you can see him deep in thought in your head. "What did she call us?"

Nesta speaks next, "A pack of unruly males?" the smirk evident in her voice.

Rhys and Feyre both laugh before Rhys speaks again, "Yes! You're telling me you're finally away from the Cassian and Azriel," Feyre cuts in, adding, "You too, Rhys!" before he finishes with, "Pissing contest?"

Mor laughs a bit, but she doesn't say anything.

You're really beginning to overthink now, your lips in a frown.

When the laughter dies down, Feyre asks, "Really, Mor, how is it? I miss having you both around."

Mor hums, and you can hear her take a large sip of wine now that you've moved to directly outside of the door, ear pressed to the dark wood.

"I love her, she's my mate, and I'm so glad to take this big step with her, but... it's different." Mor says, getting quieter by the end.

Your heart drops at the statement, and you can only listen as she continues.

"I g-guess.. she's just everywhere, you know? More clingy, too. It's only been two weeks, I'm still seeing how it goes..."

By now, your eyes are brimmed with unshed tears, and you begin to back away, not wanting to hear anymore and too worried you'll be discovered. The word she used, clingy, was ringing in your ears.

Yes, you were quite affectionate and cuddly with her. Especially now that you two had a private home, no risk of anyone seeing you be intimate and close. Not that you two hadn't been in front of your friends, but there was a different feel to it when you could wrap up on the couch together, cook a meal together, or read a book on the porch together completely alone. You loved it, cherished it, especially after spending so long wanting a romance like this, never thinking you'd find your mate.

You were devastated to know Mor didn't feel quite the same, but you loved her, of course, and didn't want anything to end between the two of you. You knew she loved you, but you wished she'd just told you if she was having any doubts about your living situation or if she wished you two could spend more time apart, rather than embarrass you in front of your friends.

Once you'd left the front of the River House, you winnowed away, to your and Mor's house.

You decided to get ready for the evening, that you'll just wait for Mor to return home instead of meeting her. You doubted that she'd notice, and that maybe, she'd appreciate the space you'd given her.

---

It's almost dark out by the time you heard the front door unlock and creak open. You'd begun to make dinner, a pasta sauce simmering on the stove next to a pot of boiling water, bread baking in the oven.

You listened to Mor shed her winter gear, ending with her boots landing on the mat by the front door. Her footsteps padded down the hallway, entering the kitchen where she saw you at the stovetop, back to the entryway.

"Hello, love," Mor said sweetly, before sniffing dramatically. "Whatever you're making smells amazing!"

You turn to look at her over your shoulder, smiling and thanking her.

Her brows drip just a bit in confusion, clearly expecting a more joyous greeting, but you send a loving pulse down the bond in an effort so soothe her, turning back to the food in front of you.

She walks forward, wrapping her arms around your waist, burying her face in the crook of your neck. You make no move to return the embrace, instead, continuing to stir the sauce that's nearly done.

She places a few kisses on your skin, then says, "I missed you today, baby. I thought you were going to meet me at Rhys' earlier?"

You place the spoon down, turning to look at her. "I had a long day at work today, so I figured I'd come home and start dinner early." You smiled at the end, to assure her that it was just a simple plan change.

She looks confused again for just a second, before she smiles and nods, leaning in to kiss your lips. You kiss her back, but pull away before she can deepen it. You didn't want to be cold, but you were still a bit hurt, and of course, you didn't want to seem clingy.

"Why don't you change into some comfier clothes, I'll have the food ready when you get back."

Mor slowly pulls away from you, nodding softly before backing out of the room.

You sigh, turning back to the stove.

By the time the pasta has been drained, added to the sauce pan, seasoned more to taste and plated, Mor is reentering the room. She dons a red nightgown. It isn't especially sexy, it covers her and is quite tame. But she knows how much you love her in red.

As you pull the bread from the oven and begin to place a piece on each of your plates, Mor grabs a bottle of wine from the rack Amren had gifted the two of you.

She pours you and herself a glass, placing them on the tables as you set the plates down. You go to gather silverware and napkins, but she pushes you to your seat, pecking your cheek. "Sit, my love, after cooking all this. I'll get the rest."

Truly, it wasn't much, and it definitely wasn't hard, but you two usually cooked together, so you know she likely wanted to feel like she did some of the dinner work.

You sat and waited, smiling at her as she set your things down on the table.

When she took her seat, you immediately began to eat, waiting for her to tell you about her day.

"So, do you want me to tell you about the Court of Nightmares trip?"

You nodded while sipping your wine, encouraging her to continue.

---

After your plates were cleaned and your wine glasses were emptied, you stood and began to collect the dishes. You hadn't talked much, and spoke little of your day. Your plan was to go to bed within the next hour or so, to give Mor some of the time alone she badly needed. There was a book Nesta had given you that you needed to finish anyway, a few knitting projects you'd started with Elain and had abandoned, some homework for the next term you could get a headstart on making.

Alone time, you decided, would be good for the both of you.

Mor helped you clean, singing a song under her breath to fill the silence. When you were done, she wrapped her arms around you again and kissed you, harder than before.

"I really missed you," she said against your lips, cupping your face with one hand and gripping your hip with the other.

And, of course, you missed her too. That was undeniable, and you can't resist kissing your mate.

"I missed you too, sweetheart, I'm glad you had a good day." You bumped her nose with your own, kissing her again, rubbing her arms and back.

She grips you tighter, pushing your body into hers. She groans in your mouth, and you pull away before it can go any farther.

Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, you say, "I'm really tired, my love, I'm sorry."

She rubs your cheek with her thumb, kissing your forehead before pulling away. "That's okay," she says, always loving and sweet, never wanting to pressure you or make you feel bad. "I want you to tell me about it, I was excited to see you earlier and I got sad that you didn't come," your heart stings at her admission, but she continues on, "but I understand that you're tired. What happened today? Come lay down with me on the couch."

You feel a bit guilty for rejecting her like this, but, as gently as you can, you say, "I think I'm just gonna go to bed, love. I'm really sorry, I'm just exhausted. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, I swear."

Mor looks a bit surprised at your response. "Do you feel alright, Y/N, do you feel sick?"

You huff a laugh, smiling and shaking your head. You kiss her again, to alleviate any worry. "Just a headache, from the bad day, I think. I'm just going to lay down, you know, in the quiet, see if it helps. I'll likely be asleep pretty quickly."

Reluctantly, with a frown on her face, Mor nods. "Okay, baby. If you think that'll make you feel better."

You hum, "It will. I'm fine, Mor, really."

She releases you and grabs your hand, pulling you to the bedroom. "Let me at least tuck you in?"

You laugh at her, and nod your head. "Alright."

---

Later, in the solitude of your shared bedroom, you attempt to focus on the coursework in front of you.

Mor had, as she said she would, tucked you into bed. She fluffed the pillows, laid you down, dimmed the lights, cracked a window just a bit to cool the stuffy room. Then, she pulled the blankets up to your chin, kissing your forehead before again asking if you're alright.

You reassured her that truly, it's just been a very long day, trying not to be puzzled over her apparent newfound desire to be incredibly close to you tonight.

You couldn't help but feel a bit guilty about the distance you'd been putting between the two of you this evening. But, you were admittedly still very hurt. You struggled to both wish that she'd spoken to you rather than behind your back, and be glad that she'd even opened up at all, likely wanting to spare your feelings. You did not want to drive her away from you by being... clingy. But, it was hard to do this, to be so... detached from one another.

You sigh in frustration, the blank sheet of paper in front of you taunting you. You resign to the fact that you will likely not get any work done tonight. Not for your job, not on Nesta's book, not your half knitted scarves. There really is nothing to do but think, and thinking is especially cruel on you tonight.

You... could go downstairs to join your mate. You can picture her, downstairs, cozy on the couch. Either painting her nails, reading a book, or maybe, unlike you, getting some work done on whatever work for the Night Court she'd been tasked with.

But... no. You wouldn't bother her. You'd give her her space, so long as she was happy and comfortable, you'd learn to be too with this new relationship dynamic. Really, so that you never lost her, you figured you had no choice.

It was a little over an hour later, long after you'd called it quits and shut the lights off entirely, that the bedroom door creaked open again.

You listened to Mor gently close the door behind her, and pad her way over to the bed. You were, very clearly, on your side of the bed. Almost to the edge. You hoped this didn't strike her as odd, because you rarely went to bed without her, you hoped it just seemed like you'd rolled over there in your sleep without her to cuddle up to.

She lifted the covers and slid in, yet remained still. You didn't dare show that you were still awake, and so you waited to see what move she made.

Finally, after several seconds of nothing, Mor shifted closer. She didn't cuddle you as intensely as usual, just reached a hand out to rest on your hip. Typically, you'd lay on her chest, or you'd take turns being the little spoon, or you'd lay facing one another with your legs and hands interlocked. You yearned for the contact, to feel her skin on your own. But, you made no move to get closer.

Falling asleep was difficult, especially without the comfort of your mate wrapped around you. But, eventually, under the weight of her delicate hand, you drifted off.

---

The next morning, you woke to sunlight trickling in through the blinds. You could see a bit of dust floating through the air, and you faintly picked up on the sound of yet more snow falling.

Turning to look beside you, you saw Mor, asleep and cozy. She looked so warm, so tired, yet not entirely peaceful. A small frown was painting her face, and you furrowed your brows in confusion. Sitting up in the bed, you leaned down to press a soft kiss to her forehead, then her pouted lips. She didn't wake up at the touch, and you opted to let her sleep in rather than cuddle her until the both of you were awake and ready to start the day.

You shivered at the cold floor touching your barefeet, slipping fuzzy slippers Feyre had gifted you one year onto your feet. You gently exited the bedroom, careful to not disturb Mor's rest.

As you prepared coffee in the kitchen, you studied the snowfall from the window above the sink. It was gorgeous, a glittery white coat making the green of the trees surrounding your property stand out. Your house was tucked away in the woods, as it has been your dream to have a home surrounded by your favorite scenery. The house is private and cozy. But, it is also incredibly close to the heart of Velaris, just located on the closest edge of the city. That decision was for Mor, who loved city night life.

As you observe the weather, you wonder if you made a mistake choosing a home so secluded. The snow was thick and falling fast. Visibility was low, and you didn't need to go outside to know that it was bitter cold. Whatever plans you and Mor had for the day would be no more, as the weather was far too intense for any traveling.

This should have made you excited, squealing with glee. It should have sent you straight back to the bedroom, to sleep in with Mor, or, to wake her up and get her to enjoy the beautiful sight with you.

But, it made you... nervous. Nervous to see her reaction to her being snowed in with you, nervous that because neither of you could escape, one of you, likely her, would decide to leave for good when the snow cleared.

You shake your head, sipping your coffee, feeling silly for such dramatic thoughts.

She doesn't hate you, you thought. She loves you very much, she just needs space.

As if your sour thoughts had summoned her, Mor strolled into the kitchen. You hadn't heard her wake up, too lost in your head.

You turned to look at her, smiling softly over your mug, sending a loving pulse down the bond before you have to break the news to her.

She smiled back, tugging on your bond, walking up to you planting a firm kiss to your lips.

"Good morning, beautiful," Mor whispered against your lips, wrapping her arms around you and hugging you.

"Mmmm, good morning." You pressed a kiss to her hair, inhaling her scent.

You pulled back, turning to grab her favorite mug from a cupboard. "I made coffee, shall I make you a cup?"

You're pouring the coffee before she answers, knowing she'll never turn a cup of coffee down. She nods, then takes your spot at the sink, observing the snow as you had previously done.

"It's coming down hard, I didn't expect all this!"

You wince at the comment, hoping she isn't too terribly disappointed that she's trapped here.

"Yes, I thought yesterday was to be the worst of it. It doesn't look like we'll be able to do much today..." You trailed off at the end, bracing for a sight of disappointment.

When one didn't come, you turned back to her, holding out her mug that now contained coffee sugared and creamed to her liking.

She looked at you, wiggling her eyebrows and biting her lip. She took a deep sip from her mug before setting it down, grabbing your mug from your hands and placing it on the counter, too. She grabbed your hand, pulling you to the stairs, presumably back to the bedroom.

"What are you doing?" You asked, genuinely confused.

"Let's get some more clothes on, silly! There's so much snow to play in!" She giggles as she speaks, like it should be obvious what her plans for today are.

You let her pull you into the bedroom, watching as she rummages through drawers and your walk in closet. She pulls out several layers of clothes for both you and her, throwing them onto the bed. She starts to pull her nightgown over her head before catching your confused gaze.

"What's wrong, Y/N? I thought you loved snow?"

She's right, you do love snow. You loved the look of it, the feel of breathing in the cold air. The snowmen you could build and the snowball fights you were always determined to win. The crunch of it underneath your boots and the smoothness as you held it in your gloved hands.

That wasn't why you hesitated, though.

"I do!" You were quick to clarify, not wanting it to seem like you were the one not wanting to spend this time together. "I just... we can't really do anything today, with it coming down like this." Mor just stared at you, waiting for you to continue. "I-I mean, aren't you a little upset? Didn't you have more things to meet with Rhys and Feyre about? Weren't you going to help plan the New Year party?"

Mor slowly released the hem of her gown, confusion painting her face. "I mean, yes, I did have those plans today, but why would I be upset? It's just a party, one that's still days away." She stepped closer towards you, and you could sense that she was growing a little aggravated. "Why would I be mad that I get a day off, a day to spend at home?"

You wanted to say, because it's a day with me, another day you don't get to have alone. But, you didn't. Your goal has never been to start a fight over this, and so you backed down before one could start.

"I don't know, Mor. I just wanted to make sure you weren't upset about it... the way it looks outside, it could be a few days until everything is back to normal. I didn't mean to imply anything, I'm sorry."

Mor didn't say anything for a moment, just nodded her head and continued to frown.

"D-Do you... do you still want to go outside?" You asked tentatively, the air charged with frustration, confusion, hesitation.

Mor sighed, closing her eyes for a second before moving to pull on a pair of sweatpants, discarding her nightgown and putting on a sweater. "I don't feel like it anymore, maybe later."

She didn't look at you as she spoke, speaking under her breath and hurrying past you to the door.

You tried to grab her arm, to stop her from fleeing, but she moved out of your reach and left to go downstairs.

"Damnit." You muttered under your breath. You had never intended to upset her, but you also didn't think you had done anything to deserve her anger.

But, it seemed like now she truly did need that alone time she'd apparently been craving. You wouldn't stoke her anymore, you'd let her calm down, and you'd stay out her way, even if it mean enduring the radiating disappointment from the bond.

---

You spent most of the morning locked away in the bedroom, staying out of Mor's way. You left once to fix another cup of coffee, Mor was sitting at the table, touching up her red-painted nails. She just looked at you when you walked in, and said nothing as you left to retreat back upstairs.

The book you were reading, while good, wasn't doing a very good job of distracting you. In fact, the longer you sat, the more your frustration brewed.

You really didn't feel like you deserved for her to be upset with you. You had been trying to avoid this, a fight, a confrontation. But you weren't sure how to move past this until you two talked.

A little after noon, you again ventured downstairs, determined to get some food and speak to Mor. You planned to tell her how you felt undeserving of her disappointment, how you felt like it was unfair that she was upset with you for giving her what she seemingly wanted.

She was absent from the kitchen, and eventually, you found her in her office, leafing through paperwork at her desk. You could tell she was trying to busy herself, as just days ago, she had told you the paperwork was mindless, formality bullshit from court to court.

Leaning against the doorway, you ask her, "Would you like some lunch? I think I'm going to make a sandwich, or maybe a salad?"

Mor didn't look up from her work. "No, thanks," she mumbled under her breath, paying you no attention.

"Mor, look at me," you said, calm and with a balanced tone.

She sighed, refusing to meet your gaze, keeping her attention secured on the papers in front of her. "I'm not hungry, Y/N, I'll figure something out later." She briefly waved her hand in the air, like she was shooing you away.

You roll your eyes, the desire for a conversation gone at the annoyance in her tone. You turn to walk away, but you can't help yourself from saying, "Alone, I'm sure, as you've made it abundantly clear that you prefer."

You're hardly a few steps down the hallway before you hear Mor call, "What did you say?" The sound of her chair screeching backward as she rises fills the silence, but you're still walking away. You knew having a calm, collected talk about this wasn't going to happen after she acted so unconcerned with your presence.

You hear her footsteps enter the hallway, too, Mor trailing right behind you.

"Y/n, what did you just say?"

And, because you're beginning to grow a bit bitter about this whole situation, you say, "Figure it out later."

Her footsteps grow faster, and as you turn the corner to enter the kitchen, she grabs your wrist and whirls you around.

"Are you serious right now?" Her tone is sharp, her jaw clenched, her beautiful face painted with anger.

You laugh, once and humorless. "Am I serious? Are you serious, Mor? Acting so cold to me today," your voice grows sharper the more you think about it, "all because you're locked in this damn house with me!"

Mor's brows scrunch, a mixture of anger and confusion. "Excuse me?! You're the one who didn't want to go outside with me this morning! You're the one who avoided me last night, going to bed early and staying as far away from me as you could!"

You pull your arm out of her grasp, pointing at her, "I never said I didn't want to go outside with you! You're the one who said she didn't feel like going anymore!"

Mor turns, scoffing and throwing her hands in the air like she can't believe what's happening. "Why would I after you had just implied like going outside together was like, the worst possible thing that could happen to you!"

You stare at her for a moment, mouth open and eyes wide. "You're making stuff up at this point! I never did that! I was just thinking about you. Cauldron forbid I care about what you want, Mor!"

You shake your head, your heart is hammering and you're starting to feel the uncomfortable sensation of tears gathering in your eyes and a lump forming in your throat.

When you turn to walk away, before it gets any worse, Mor grabs you again.

"Don't walk away from me! What in the gods name are you even talking about? You seriously think work is all I care about? You know me better than that." She sounds hurt, and angry, but you can't imagine she feels those things anywhere near the same degree as you do.

You sigh, losing the edge to your voice, a tear finally leaking from one of your eyes. "No, Mor, I don't think that. But I do know that being with me, living with me, isn't what you thought it would be. I wanted to save you from that today, that's all."

She stops dead in her tracks, her pacing coming to an abrupt end as she stares at you like she doesn't even recognize you. "What are you even saying, Y/N? Do you even hear yourself?"

"I gave you space last night, and I tried to this morning, so I wasn't too clingy for you," you put emphasis on that word like it was damning you. "But all it did was make you bitter towards me today, Mor. So I'm not sure what else I can do."

Again, she stares at you like she has no idea what's going on. And then, you see it click. Her features slowly grow from angry to sad, and she closes her eyes, tilting her head down. She looks ashamed, like she wishes she hadn't been caught.

A few more tears run down your face, and you swipe them away with your fingers, trying to calm your shaking hands.

"I didn't want to fight about this, Mor, I never did. I heard something I wasn't supposed to. I can't change how you feel, but I can change how I act. Can we just leave this alone? I won't be as clingy, but I need you to stop treating me like I've done something wrong." Your voice is hardly a whisper, and you're turning to leave the foyer you've been having this confrontation in before, for the third time, Mor grabs your wrist to prevent you from leaving.

You don't look at her as she says, "Baby, I am so, so, so sorry," her voice cracks, and the sound of her so upset breaks your heart, despite her being the reason yours has been broken since the night before. "Please, Y/N. let me explain."

You shake your head, pulling your arm away, but she doesn't let go. "There's nothing to explain, Mor. I heard you clearly last night. As much as I wish you had spoken to me about this, rather than embarrass me in front of our friends, what's done is done. You can't change how you feel."

Just as you said to her, moments before, Mor asks, "Y/N, please look at me."

You pull your watery eyes to hers, and truly, she looks devastated.

"That's not how I feel, Y/N."

You smile softly at her, putting your hand on top of the one holding your arm. You push her grasp away, saying, "Mor, of course you do. I'm suffocating, I see that now. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, bu-"

Mor's cutting you off before you finish. "No! Y/N, I mean it. I do not think you're clingy, I was an idiot to say that."

Before she can continue, you stop her with a hand raised. "Mor, seriously, this is just making it worse. We can figure out how to make this relationship work better, later. I really don't want to talk about it anymore."

Finally releasing yourself from the hold she's had on you, you make your way into the kitchen.

And, of course, your stubborn mate follows you. She watches as you pull supplies from the fridge, meat and cheese and lettuce and other things required for a sandwich.

You spot her chewing on her thumbnail, her newly painted nail, as she watches you.

You sigh as you pull the bread from the cupboard. "Do you want a sandwich, Mor?"

"I want to talk, Y/N. I want to explain, I want to make this right. Please, baby, let me explain." Her voice is pleading, and she sounds close to the tears you were in just moments ago.

You slam two slices of bread onto a plate more forcefully than necessary. "I said I don't want to talk about this anymore. Please, Mor. Enough."

She seems to understand how serious you are, and she doesn't push you any further. She sits at the table as you prepare your lunch, and because you love her very much, and you know she hasn't eaten, you fix her one, too.

---

The day moves slowly, the two of you sticking to doing your own things. You find that the day is easier now that she knows what you know, that it's easier to breathe knowing you've said what you needed to say.

Mor hovers around you, but she doesn't push you to speak anymore. When you leave to sit by the fire in the living room, she moves to the couch with a book in hand. When you decide to work on clearing your front porch of snow, she joins you, shovel in hand and wordless. When you take a hot bath after, she waits in the bedroom, tidying until you're done. When dinner comes around, it's her that makes you a meal, and you nod your head in thanks, the two of you eating her stew in silence.

Long after the sun has gone down, you're in your bedroom, pulling a sweatshirt, matching to your sweatpants, over your head.

The door creaks open, and Mor walks in, both your book and hers in hand. Her face still looks devastated, you've been enduring the radiating guilt, shame, sadness, and disappointment from the bond all day. The only thing stopping you from kissing the hurt from her face is your own hurt, still aching, but a little less raw.

Mor sets the books down on her bedside table, and you can tell she's not going to let the two of you sleep tonight unless she's said her piece.

As much as you'd rather forget about this day, you know that tensions will only grow if you don't allow her to say whatever it is she wants to say, whatever it is she thinks will make this better.

You pull the covers back, settling on the bed. "Can you hand me my book, Mor?"

"Y/N..." Her voice is quiet. She's still standing, like she's afraid that if she gets too close, you'll run away.

You sigh, looking her in the eyes. You're surprised to see them welling with tears, her bottom lip trembling.

Your face scrunches, and you reach a hand out to her. "Mor, don't cry..." Your voice trails off, confusion lacing your tone.

She crumbles at your outstretched hand, like the acceptance is something she thought she'd lost forever. Like she's relieved that you still want her.

She collapses onto the bed, grabbing your hand, crying in earnest now. "I-I'm so sorry, Y/N, I swear to the gods I d-didn't mean what I s-s-said."

You can hardly understand her, and you run a hand through her hair in an attempt to calm her down.

"Mor, please, you don't have to explain yourself... I just want to move on from this."

That makes her cry harder, she's burying her face in your shoulder, shaking her head in refusal. "No! I d-don't want to move on from this, I want to make it r-right," she hiccups on a sob before continuing, "if you'll let me, p-please."

You sigh, kissing her hairline, urging her to pull back and look at you. "Honestly, Mor, I think it'll just hurt worse if you explain why I'm too clingy. I wish you'd just let us change how this," you gesture between the two of you, "works. No hard feelings that way, really."

Mor's face grows frustrated, her tears spilling down her cheeks rapidly. She sniffles, and grits out, "No. I-I don't want anything to c-change!"

"Mor, reall-"

She cuts you off before you can go on. "Y/N, p-please, just listen to me right now. I know I don't d-deserve it, b-but..."

Seeing her so upset, hearing the heartbreak in her voice, the sight of her red and puffy face from crying so hard, it makes you give in. You nod, signaling to her that she can continue, that you'll listen and you'll try to understand.

You brace yourself for the hurt, for her to explain how she feels suffocated by you, that you're too overbearing, just too clingy. You're ready for her to tell you that she loves you, because you know that she does, but that she just needs some space.

She doesn't, though.

She takes a deep breath in, bringing her hands up to rub at her wet cheeks, closing her eyes and collecting herself for a moment.

"Y/N, I-I have no excuse, for talking about you that way, in front of our friends."

She opens her eyes and looks deep into yours, waiting to see if you're going to stop her. When you make no move to interrupt, she continues.

"I... I am not good at this," she gestures between the both of you, then takes your hand into her own. "I'm not good at... being someone's mate."

You go to stop her, to scold her for thinking that way. She's perfect, the two of you literally made for one another. You'd not change a thing about her, and so far, your relationship had been virtually perfect. But, you swore to listen, so you refrain from stopping her.

"I never thought I'd meet my mate, and... for it to be a woman..." she trails off, and she doesn't have to elaborate on what she means by that. While your friends, your family, have been nothing but accepting and supportive, the same cannot be said for the rest of the world. Generally, Velaris, the Night Court, is open-minded, unfazed by any sort of queerness. And she decided, the moment she met you, she was done hiding her affections for women. She would not hide her mate, both you and her deserved better. But, Mor has seen the worst of other courts, of other people. She's seen terrible things happen to people for not being able to control who they love. She has always, always, been so protective of you, of the relationship the two of you have. It's made her guarded. Even around people she loves and trusts, she finds it difficult to be open and honest about the relationship the two of you have. She's opted for privacy in order to ensure protection. You know that, and it has never bothered you, because of course, you understand it.

"I am still... figuring this all out. How to navigate this, how to be more happy than scared." She pulls your hand to her mouth, pressing a kiss to your soft skin. You smile softly at her, and cup her face, stroking her cheek with your thumb, soothing the still reddened skin despite the tears being nearly gone.

She leans into the touch, and again, she takes a deep inhale, like she's in need of being grounded.

"When they asked me today, how things are going... I-I just... I couldn't be honest." Her voice cracks at the end, and you dread having to see her beautiful face in tears again.

"Y/N, I swear to you, everything is perfect."

"Mor..." you sigh, worried she's just trying to make you feel better about all of this, worried she isn't really thinking of what would make her happier.

"No, Y/N, I mean it. Everything about you, about us... it's perfect," she moves to hold your hand to her face with both of hers, turning to press a kiss into your palm.

"I know it shouldn't, because they're our friends, our family... but it made me uncomfortable, the idea of gushing to them about us."

You give her a curious look, but you say nothing.

"It feels like, if anyone knows how perfect this is, how happy we are... someone will rip it away from us, from me."

And that, that breaks your heart. "Oh, Mor..." you coo, sitting up straighter, holding her face in both of your hands now.

"I really, really, really, have no excuse for what I said. You are not too clingy, Y/N. In fact, I sometimes wish we could be even closer."

You huff a small laugh at that, shaking your head and smiling. "Mor, it's okay, really."

She refuses to let you forgive her so easily, though. "It's not okay, baby. You're my mate, you're it for me. The only thing I'll ever want in life. I don't want to hide that, especially not from our friends. You deserve to be spoken about in truth, about how amazing you are, how easy it is to love you, how I miss you every second we aren't together."

It's your turn to tear up now, and you send a flood of love and adoration down the bond.

"I lied to them, because acting like everything isn't perfect was easier than feeling vulnerable. I treated you terribly, and in front of our friends, too... I am so, so sorry, baby."

You feel nothing but love and sincerity from the bond, no sign that she's lying, that she's just saying this to spare your feelings. You believe her, of course. She's poured her heart out to you, she's chosen uncomfortable vulnerability in order to make sure you know how loved you are.

Hearing what she said about you, knowing she said it to your friends too, it hurt. But, you know she's learned from this. You know that she truly feels terrible, and you now know that she thinks your relationship is just as incredible as you do. You hold no anger anymore, and the only thing left to make you sad is how upset your mate still looks.

"Mor, my love, I forgive you, it's alright." You learn forward, until your forehead is resting on hers. Her eyes flutter shut, and she releases a breath she was holding.

"You do?" She whispers.

You kiss her gently in response. "Mor, I forgave you a while ago. I wasn't angry so much as I was hurt."

She grimaces, knowing how badly she hurt you, but you soothe her with another peck to her lips.

"I understand, Mor. I do. I hope that next time, though, you'll just be honest," she nods against you, a promise to do right by you. "Or, if you cannot, I hope that you'll choose to hold off on answering, until you can talk about us."

"Of course, my love, this will never happen again."

You hum, plant a kiss to her forehead, and pull away. "I know it won't, sweetheart. Thank you, for being honest, and for apologizing."

A few seconds pass in comfortable silence, the two of you just enjoying the feeling of being close again.

Then, Mor speaks. "So.... you'll greet me at the door when I come in?" She asks.

"I will, every day, with a kiss." You emphasize your answer with kisses to her cheek, her nose, her lips.

She giggles and pulls away. "And you'll let me help with dinner? And you'll tell me about your day while we eat?"

"Yes, baby."

"And you'll stay up late and cuddle on the couch with me?"

"Hmm, what if I get tired?" You tease.

She pouts at you, but it's in jest. "You'll lay on my chest, and I'll wake you up when it's time to go to bed."

"I suppose that'll work..." a smirk is evident in your voice, and Mor kisses it quickly.

"And you'll cuddle with me in bed, all night?"

"All night."

"And you'll spend snow days outside with me? And take hot baths with me after?"

"I'd love nothing more."

"And you'll always talk to me, if I've done something to upset you? You'll always tell me how you're feeling?"

"I will, Mor, I promise."

She smiles, and wraps her arms around you. She pulls you down to the bed with her, and you nuzzle your face into her neck, planting a kiss to her warm skin. She tugs on your bond, teasing and gentle. A feeling settles over the both of you. It's warm and sweet, the distinct feeling that all is well.

---

A/N: This ended up being way longer than I meant it to be! I hope you all enjoy, angst isn't my usual but I wanted to give it a try. And of course, requests are always welcome! :)

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secret-subject · 7 months

Text

Do You Ever Just Forget How To Do Hypnosis?

Not even joking. This isn't some sort of shit-post I promise, but sometimes with ADHD brain going brrrr I will get into my hypnosis thing whether it be a script or a live scene and my brian will just go:

"hey are you sure you actually remember how to do hypnosis?"

So the question is, how do we combat this feeling? Because let's be honest it's one that is not rational nor required when you are tisting on the regular and like me have a busy work schedule of giving people the hypnosis feels. (As a quick side note, in a scene with a trusted partner it would be hot af to have your ability to "fight back" with hypnosis taken away, especially if you were both switches with sticky fingers and brains, but I'm going to pocket that for another time...)

Step one: Take a break! I'm not even kidding. I know when my battery is dead energy wise I am more prone to this kind of thinking. Maybe you are tired or overworked as a dominant/top (the person doing the hypnosis doesn't always have to be dominant). I know people who can literally do scene after scene after scene, and that has never been me. I literally went three years without hypnotizing anyone outside of making audios and livestreaming, including my wife, because I was chronically ill and just worn down. You can't be a super tist if you aren't taking care of yourself. So, take a break. Look after yourself. If you aren't doing that it could be a sign that burnout is coming, or approaching and you need to protect yourself. Never be afraid to say "that's enough". Many times I've hit my limit not only long term but mid scene as a Domme. It's okay and it's very normal and I wish we spoke about it more.

Step two: Try something new! Sometimes, I get stuck in a rut of doing the same thing over and over. I love repetition and conditioning using it is fun but wow, it can get boring for everyone. So this feeling could be a sign it's time to read some smut, listen to some audios, read the blogs and try something new. It might not work, but it might also be the best thing you've ever done. Recently I also have been sending tiny audios to friends based on whims or ideas I've been thinking of. This is a great way to test something new, low stakes, and play around. I also recommend having people you can talk to. I love to befriend other hypnosis creators and community members because not only are they just "built different" and fun to be around but also I can hear them talk about their passions, which reignites mine and we can pool ideas.

Set three: Read some resources! Education is so important in this scene. Now that doesn't mean do what I did and go to a certifcation course, I don't think people outside of people wanting to be a professional hypnotist should do this. But it is important to refresh your knowledge and not be afraid to learn. Now I am an ex-teacher so I am biased as hell about the importance of education, but, it's not hard to upgrade your skills with a little education. Mind Play is a great book, I always recommend it for being simple to read. Go to a class at a convention or locally (they have them online too so you can access them even in places far away like New Zealand). Join a hypnosis discord with discussion rooms or groups. Talk to others about their experiences. Watch a YouTube video on hypnosis. Listen to podcasts about it. These are all educational tools for upgrading your skills and even if like me you've been doing this for an eternity (or what feels like it) you can still refresh your skills and maybe you might learn something that helps get you out of that funk.

So these are just some of the things that help when my brain decides to gaslight me into thinking I am terrible at this. I know this is never going to be one side fits all but I think it's important to talk about imposter syndrome from all sides of the watch.

Have you ever felt like this? And if so what did you do about it? I'd love to keep this conversation going!

-Secret

#hypnok1nk #content creation #hypnosis community #secret subject #just musings I guess #some sort of hypnosis essay

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tanmono · 1 year

Text

GILBERT VON OBSIDIAN MAIN ROUTE....

BOTH ENDINGS BONUS.

translations are not 100% accurate. expect mistakes.

trigger warning: mildly suggestive.

minors and ageless blogs dni.

I decided not to love anyone anymore.

I decided not to trust anyone anymore.

I broke that old vow without hesitation.

It was very frightening.

Emma: How is it, Lord Gilbert?

Emma dances in an empty dance hall wearing a jet-black dress that looks like the night sky.

There is no music, no audience, only a dance hall that has lost its former glory,

Emma’s dance was more alive and brighter than the starry sky that covered the windows.

(I don't know what you enjoy so much….) // (I don't know what's so fun about it.)

The dance partner is a sickly man who has been forced to live on a bed for years.

Unlike most of the world's most skilled dancers, I am by no means a good dancer.

Even so, Emma’s smile was bright with joy.

Gilbert: You're getting better than you were the first time.

(When you danced at Rhodolite, it was like you just learned on the spur of the moment….)

Even if she were to join society today, no one would doubt that she was from a commoner family. // Now, if she were to join in a social gathering, no one would suspect that she was a commoner.

Gilbert: Who did you practice with?

Emma:….No one.

Gilbert: Eh— really?

Emma: You already know that, don't you?

Gilbert: I'm being a skeptic man.

Emma: Please rest assured. Since Lord Gilbert always had his eye on me, no one would go out with me.

Gilbert: Ahaha. That's good to hear.

Emma:…..It's not good.

Gilbert: What, you want to dance with another man?

Emma:…….

The eyes that are looking at her with a steady, questioning gaze are passed off with a smile.

She is the only woman who is so undaunted by the royal family, the symbol of terror.

Gilbert: By the way, I won't allow you to go around the place just to show off. It's a big deal if pests come near you.

Emma: Originally, I had no intention of showing off except to Lord Gilbert. // Originally, I was only going to show it to Lord Gilbert.

Emma: And this is...well, a party…to celebrate your recovery.

Gilbert: To celebrate my recovery. If that's the case——

I tugged Emma’s hand and pressed her lips against mine.

Gilbert: Does that mean I can do this too?

Emma:….Of….course.

Not only her face but also her ears turn red, and she kisses me back.

The fact that it is awkward no matter how many times she has done it is a sign that she’s not used to being with men.

I placed my hand on her cheek to chase her lips, which quickly parted, and takes her breath away again.

(…But to be honest, I didn't expect to be loved by you.)

(I thought I was going to die without ever having been involved in love or anything like this.)

(It's truly amazing how a series of coincidences have led us to where we are now——)

Gilbert: Hello, big brother.

Akatsuki: Ah, you're here again, pipsqueak.

The time I spent in the beautiful country of Rhodolite, full of roses and art, was filled with joy.

Among them, I was especially looking forward to the second-hand book market that is held regularly under the blue sky……

I got along especially well with the merchant from Kougyoku(Ruby), who opened his shop almost every time.

Gilbert: Wow...there are a lot of interesting books again this time.

Only his store had so many rare books that I couldn't understand why people were avoiding it.

Akatsuki:…Every time, you only pick up the most difficult books, don't you?

Gilbert: I like academic books from other countries because they contain a lot of things I don't know.

Gilbert: I've read all the books from my country, so it's boring. Oh this book looks interesting——

When I reached out, I bumped into another hand reaching out from the other direction.

Gilbert: Ah….

Blonde boy:……

He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and was clearly an aristocratic boy.

He's a little taller than me, but he's about the same age as me.

Gilbert: Are you interested in this book?

Blonde boy: Yes.

Gilbert: How strange. It's the world's first legal book written in ancient achroite script….

Blonde boy:…I'm surprised anyone else can read this.

He was clearly different. And I instantly knew it.

He, like myself, deserves to be classified as a genius.

Gilbert: Then, shall we read it together?

Gilbert: My name is Gil. And you are?

Blonde boy:……

We went into a nearby back alley and read the book we just bought side by side.

The blonde boy was surprisingly quiet.

Gilbert: I wish you could tell me your name. // You could have at least told me your name.

Blonde boy: We’re not going to get along.

Gilbert: But if we read a book together, that means we're friends.

Blonde boy: What's with that rule?

Gilbert: I just decided. I wanted to be your friend.

Blonde boy: Why?

Gilbert: Because I’m lonely.

Blonde boy:……..

Gilbert: You seem to have no problem making friends like this, so…..I'm never letting you go.

Blonde boy:…..Sighs.

The first friend I made at Rhodolite was a blunt, impertinent boy who honestly didn't seem to be good at socializing.

Still, he is intelligent, and he is willing to engage in discussions that even adults could not come close to.

Every time I met him at a used book market, we would exchange books while reading it together.

Gilbert: I wonder why people with powers are always so corrupted.

At one point, I sat on a barrel in a back alley, closes a thick book on my lap, and uttered a few unrelated words.

This is my impression after reading all the history books of the continent written in ancient languages.

The blonde boy, sitting on the ground with one knee, was listening while reading the book without stopping.

Gilbert: They say continental history is from the nobility, but there are none.

Gilbert: Those who killed their own people to gain the throne, those who cheated other nations to expand their territory, and those who turned a blind eye to the suffering of their people……

Gilbert: Because it has a long history, there should be someone with a benevolent and kind monarch who is equal to everyone.

Gilbert:……No, people like that don't go down in history.

Blonde boy: No wonder.

Blonde boy: In today's society, a monarch who claims to be loving and equal would be the first to be eliminated.

Blonde boy: The one who has seized power will never let go of it again. If there is even a slight disadvantage, they would turn a blind eye.

Blonde boy: I don't know about the pain of others. That is part of human’s nature.

Gilbert: Hmm, I see.

I put my dangling feet on the ground and smiled brightly.

Gilbert: I think human beings are inherently conscientious creatures.

Gilbert: It's the world that makes people greedy, not the people themselves.

At this time, the images of Albert and my mother were in my mind.

The loved ones always lavish their affection on the sickly prince.

If Albert survives the battle, he will take the throne,

I was sure that he would be a king of love and equality.

While knowing that our homeland is a land of deceit and corruption,

I thought people had a conscience and took it for granted.

Blonde boy: According to your theory, there are no real bad people in the world.

Gilbert: Yeah. Because the essence of human beings is love.

Gilbert: The rotten monarchs who spun history could have been kind to others if the world was different.

Blonde boy:...You say very dreamy things, don't you?

Gilbert: It is, but whatever.

Gilbert: I like people.

My friend snickered at me, but at the time I was really thinking about it.

The sickly prince was surrounded by kind people——

Because they didn't know about the real deception and corruption.

Akatsuki: Hey, pipsqueak, what's up? You don't look so happy today.

When I arrived in the land of roses and the four seasons had come and gone, the letters I had received from the home country suddenly stopped.

A sense of foreboding swirls in my heart, and my smile is drawn back into a tight line.

Gilbert:…I think it's time for me to go home. Today is the last time I'll be here.

Akatsuki: I see.

Gilbert: Hey, big brother. Here, I got something for you.

I looked around, made sure no one was near us, and then, I handed him over the pass to Obsidian.

Obsidian, which had strict checkpoints since that time, was a difficult country for outsiders to enter.

An exception to this rule is the passport issued by the royal family, which allows easy entry into the country.

That is how strong the position of the royal family was in the country.

Gilbert: I wonder if you can sneak in and sell some books for me.

Akatsuki:…..All right. I also wanted to visit this country once.

Akatsuki: I promise I'll sell you books.

Gilbert: Thank you. Then, big brother is also my friend.

Akatsuki:….Yeah.

Perhaps the reason I wasn't too surprised when I handed over my Obsidian pass was because I had a vague idea of what was going on.

Akatsuki puts the pass in his pocket and pats my head.

Akatsuki: I know it's a tough country. But....don’t change, pipsqueak.

Akatsuki: If you grow up to be the man you are today, you will become a wise ruler.

Gilbert: I don't know if it’s true....but, thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

Gilbert: ——Today is the last time I'll see you.

Blonde boy:…….

After Akatsuki, I have to bid farewell to the blonde boy.

In the past year, even though we had a fair amount of interaction, nothing had changed, whether it was bluntness or impertinence.

Gilbert: You're so heartless. I can't believe you're not even sad for me.

Blonde boy: You've always been a one-sided talker. // It's probably just that you were always talking one-sidedly.

Gilbert: Well, that's right, but in the end….please tell me at least your name.

Blonde boy: It's a hassle.

Gilbert: Even though we are friends.

Blonde boy: I’m not sure. // I don’t know.

Gilbert: I'm going to cry.

Blonde boy: Then cry.

My first friend sighs in annoyance and hands me an envelope.

Gilbert: What's this?

Blonde boy: You’ve been coughing violently from time to time.

Gilbert:……

Blonde boy: I have a foolish younger brother who gets sick a lot. The doctor has been giving him tea regularly, but he's been sulking.

Gilbert:….I can't believe you’ve been nice to me at the very last minute.

The envelope is even carefully marked with the sender's name.

"Chevalier=Michel"...that seems to be his name.

I knew that, but it's the name of a prince of Rhodolite.

Gilbert: Hehe, thank you.

Gilbert: I'm Gilbert, by the way. Gilbert Kloss.

Chevalier:…."Kloss"….yes…

Gilbert: I hope we can remain friends the next time we meet.

Chevalier: We’ll see about that.

There are no more words for each other——

The exchange with my first friend also ended there.

Gilbert:……Albert…..

Gilbert: Mo….ther….?

The first thing that awaited me upon my return to the land of deceit and corruption was a row of corpses lining the walls.

The two stared into the distance with empty eyes.

The happy and peaceful time in the land of roses crumbled all at once.

Gilbert: Ah——……..

Gilbert:……Aah….AAAAAHH!

━━FLASHBACK━━

Albert: Listen, Gil. I'm on your side no matter what.

Albert: I promise. I won't leave you alone…..okay?

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

Gilbert:…Liar…..

Gilbert:…You Liar….

The sunset stained my eye.

The sunset was like the color of blood.

As I stood frozen like a stone statue in front of this unacceptable reality, a tap on my shoulder came from behind.

He was the patriarchal grandfather of the Kloss family, one of the noblest bloodlines in Obsidian.

Grandfather: Gilbert, I hope you are all right. I'm glad you didn't do anything foolish.

Gilbert: Foolish?

Grandfather: Yes. Of course, those two were against the emperor.

Grandfather: They deserve to die. They’re a disgrace to our family. Gilbert, you're the only one who can't bring any more shame on us.

Gilbert:……

The gentle world shatters into pieces.

And that's how I finally learned about the real world.

Eldest brother: What, you're still alive? You're so stubborn for a sickly man.

Eldest brother: But the brother you loved is dead. There's no one left to protect you now.

Eldest brother: You can't wait to die eventually, but you want to see Albert as soon as possible, don't you?

Eldest brother: He took my idea seriously that if he wanted to stop killing each other, he should give his opinion to the emperor…..

Eldest brother: Ahaha, he’s an idiot. The Kloss family doesn't need weaklings like you guys.

Gilbert:…..Is that all you have to say?

As we passed each other, I stabbed my brother's heart with a knife.

This was the beginning of the trampling beast.

Eldest brother: Y….You…..

Gilbert: What an idiot. We are in the middle of a battle for the throne, aren't we?

Gilbert: The weaklings should disappear quickly from my sight.

Mocking people's deaths and covering up the truth with deception.

There is no one who takes pleasure in oppressing the weak, and there is no one who cares for the weak.

There was a world out there that I could not have known when I was bedridden.

The land of corruption that Albert and my mother hid so well was full of stench and unbearable…..

I killed and killed and killed.

The innocent boy who believed in love found himself killing almost all the members of the royal family,

I have done things that no one with "love" would ever do.

My own heart was false love.

Every time I kill someone, I realize that there is no such thing as love.

Both my mother and Albert betrayed me.

The foolishness of choosing death with the mouth that spun love is truly false love.

Whenever I saw something beautiful, I began to suspect that it was all just a trick of the mind.

The trampling beast has gone as far as it will go.

The emperor: You…..

Gilbert: Ahaha, you fool. I can't believe you fell for such an easy trap.

Then, after 10 years, on the bloodstained rose day.

The Emperor, who had decided to march on Rhodolite, was running across the battlefield,

He used several bribed soldiers to get false information and lure him into a deserted area.

The mad emperor, the root of all evil that caused the brothers to kill each other.

But I kept him alive until this day because I was not strong enough.

The emperor's swordsmanship was so divine that if we tried to interfere, we would be killed.

To kill him, I needed a weapon.

The weapon was finally completed on bloodstained rose day.

Gilbert: If you die, I will be the only member of the Obsidian royal family now, won't I?

I pointed the rifle of my cane at the emperor.

The normally bloodshot eyes of the emperor were somehow calm on this particular day.

Gilbert: I've been working on this weapon without your knowledge.

Gilbert: I am an impotent member of the royal family, so I have to use my cowardice to fight against you, a barbarian…..

Gilbert: Well, no words will ever reach you, so I guess that's enough. Good-bye.

The emperor: ——……As expected, of my red eyed son.

The moment I tried to pull the trigger, my fingers stopped at the words I heard.

Facing his own death, the emperor suddenly clapped his hands in praise.

The emperor: A beast among beasts. Indeed, the future of Obsidian is safe.

The emperor: You are the one who would be the best suited to the bloodstained throne. I have longed for such a successor.

Gilbert:……

The emperor: Come, kill me. And it would be better if the bloodstained country was more blackened by your generation.

The emperor: In the end, you were destined to become a trampling king…..just like me.

The emperor: Haha…..ahahaha!

Gilbert:…….

This time, I pulled the trigger without hesitation.

The emperor's body is thrown back and falls down the cliff.

Deep in the woods, where no one would ever come, became the graveyard of the mad emperor.

Gilbert:…. I see. I was wondering how a crazy emperor like you was born…..

Gilbert: I….guess I went the same way as you. // I….must have followed the same path as you.

I have killed relatives, I have killed nobles, my body has been defiled, my heart has been shattered.

Killing my biological father doesn't make me feel anything, but rather makes me smile.

Anyway, I couldn't stop laughing.

Gilbert: I’ve already….

Gilbert: Gone insane.

━━FLASHBACK━━

Akatsuki: ——There's a girl who recently started coming to my store.

I suddenly remembered a trivial conversation that Akatsuki had with me while he was selling books.

Akatsuki: She's as lovely and adorable as a little rabbit.

Akatsuki: The girl had given candy to a crying boy in front of the store.

Akatsuki: That candy was her reward for helping me.

Akatsuki: She was happy to receive candy, but she gave it to someone else without hesitation.

Akatsuki: Seeing the boy stop crying, she looked even happier than when he received the candy.

Gilbert:….Heeh?

Akatsuki:…I thought she was just like you when you were at Rhodolite.

Akatsuki: She's a beautiful girl with a pure heart, just like you.

Perhaps Akatsuki had noticed.

That the innocent boy's heart has been broken and soiled…..

He may have started talking about her in an attempt to keep me forgetting about my broken heart.

She is a girl from the land of roses, like my former self, who believes in human love and has no doubts.

Every time I hear about her story, I am reminded that there are beautiful people in the world.

Even if I can't believe how beautiful it is….

Even if the child's heart is also false and may change someday anyway….

The "other me"(little rabbit) was my last hope.

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

Gilbert:…Oh well.

I put down the cane and looked up to the sky.

Gilbert: Even if it was an act of madness——

Gilbert: I don’t want her to be trampled by anyone other than me.

Gilbert: ——Now that I think about it, I wonder if it was my first love.

Emma: First love?

After returning to the room from the dance hall, Emma reacts sensitively to the words she accidentally spilled.

Emma: Did you have your first love, Lord Gilbert?

Forgetting that she was completely naked on the bed, she blinked her eyes.

Gilbert: Why are you so surprised?

Emma: Since I came to this castle, I haven’t seen any women hanging around with Lord Gilbert at all, which is surprising…..

Gilbert: Oh, man, I'm a handsome man, too, you know?

Gilbert: I do this kind of thing to you every day.

When I bit into Emma’s soft chest, her delicate body bounced while she was on my lap.

The fingertips that were on my shoulders tightened, and I secretly smiled.

Emma: W—What kind of person were you?

Gilbert: Let’s see….

Gilbert: I won't tell you for free.

Emma:……

(I don't think it's worth asking.)

(….Or maybe I don’t think so myself.)

When I looked into her eyes with a smile, a warm hand was placed on my cheek as she kissed me.

As she repeatedly nibbled over and over again to transfer heat to my cold lips, I felt more frustration than satisfaction.

Gilbert: Hey, are you doing this on purpose?

Emma: What…do you mean?

Gilbert: More like….this?

I put my finger in her mouth and lightly stroked her tongue, and she seemed to understand what I meant.

She nodded with a bright red face and kissed me again, deeper than before.

Her tongue was entwined with mine in a stuttering manner, and I felt the heat circulate not only through my lips but also through my fingertips.

As I teased her heat with my fingertips, and suddenly our kisses turned sloppy.

Emma: Haa…..nn——

Gilbert: That was close.

Emma:….It wasn’t good….?

Gilbert: Yeah, you got comfortable first. // Yeah, you made me feel good first.

I bit down Emma’s neck, which covers her face with both hands, and then leaves bite marks on her shoulder and chest.

Sometimes sucking on the skin and adding long-lasting marks.

The remnants of daily lovemaking pile up, and Emma is full of marks now.

Gilbert: Hehe…how pitiful.

When I kissed her to caress the marks, the hand that was holding my shoulder trembled.

Emma: If that's how you feel, then go easy on me.

Gilbert: I can't go easy on loving you.

Emma:…It's not fair.

Gilbert: I've only ever done this to you, by the way.

Emma:….Really?

Gilbert: Yes. I’m all for you.

Gilbert: I just wondered if this moment was my first love.

When I confess, Emma freezes for a few seconds and then lightly taps me on the shoulder.

Emma: Was it me….?

Gilbert: Yes. My first love is strong, isn’t she?

(Whenever I told Walter about the girl Akatsuki told me about, he would always ask if she was my first love….)

(….Yeah i might have loved her.)

I hate pure things because you never know when they will get dirty.

But at the same time, it reminds me of how I felt when I loved someone.

Akatsuki has told me about the little rabbit over the years…..

She showed no signs of changing, but I somehow developed a liking for her.

(Even if I forced myself, I wanted to see you at the end….)

(Maybe it's because I wanted confirmation that "no matter what happens, it won't get dirty.")

The "Last Judgment" was not intended to see if a compromise could be reached through communication.

If she doesn't change no matter what happens, then I think the essence of human nature is still love…..

I just wanted to do such a final struggle.

(….Actually, I was thinking about just watching over.)

(I had already sowed the seeds of malice in Benitoite and Jade….)

(By watching her face them, I was able to make the final judgment.)

But...in the end, I didn't.

There was no way I could hold back in front of Emma, whom I had admired for so long.

(I ruined her peaceful life for my own personal reasons….)

Gilbert:…Hey, Emma.

I inserted my fingers between her legs and asked her while she’s writhing.

Gilbert: Am I crazy?

Emma:……

(No, I don't even have to ask.)

Gilbert:…..Sorry, just forget about it.

Gilbert: If I’m not crazy, then who——

Emma: I….don’t like crazy people.

(…….)

Emma: You’re troublesome, difficult, jealous, and you do bad things without a care in the world….

Emma:….Never have I ever thought you were crazy.

I was hugged tightly around my head.

(….After I've killed so many people.)

(…….)

(Ah, but...I see. There is only one difference between the mad emperor and me.)

Gilbert: Because you were there for me.

The emperor loved no one as much as he loved himself.

But I decided to love again at the very end of my life. // But I decided to love again in my last moments.

The presence of the little rabbit, brought to me by Akatsuki, has connected our hearts,

Perhaps that’s the way of rebuilding my broken heart now.

Gilbert:….Don't go anywhere.

Our bodies flushed together.

When I hold her slim waist close to me, her sweet breath and voice stir my ears.

Gilbert: And you can't die before I do, okay?

(….I feel hot….)

I took off my shirt and hold Emma again.

At the time, the scars from the treatment were not very good to show, but now it's healed properly.

Emma: Aah…Lord Gilbert…please live…a long life.

Emma: I…would be lonely….without you.

(….I know.)

(Loneliness is a disgusting thing.)

(….It's an emotion she shouldn't have to experience as beautiful as she is.)

Gilbert: How bad has it gotten for the little rabbit to ask such a favor from the evil emperor?

(I thought the blood of the royal family should be eradicated….but like any human being, I got greedy.)

Because it is a wish that is contrary to ambition, I laugh bitterly at what to do.

(But……we'll figure that out later.)

Now I have another desire.

(To be honest, I'm still afraid to trust her…..)

(At the end of my life, I wanted to love her.)

(….That's all.)

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikemen ouji #ikemen prince spoilers #ikepri jp #ikemen gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikepri gilbert #ikepri translations #ikemen series #cybird

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rhoorl · 5 months

Text

Week in Review | Dec. 10

Hi! How are you? I can't believe we're nearing the midway point of December! I am happy to get back to my typical Week in Review style after an abbreviated version last week!

Same shit different week for me when it comes to my TBR, I add more than I can read. But alas, here's what I got to:

Fics I read this week:

Frankie Morales

I Like the Way You (Frankie) by @undercoverpena - I've kept this series in my Current Compulsory Series section for weeks, but I'm pulling it up to the top this week because we got the final part this week! It's always a bit bittersweet to me when I get to the end of a series, especially one I'm following in real-time. I loved following along each week and immersing myself in this story and I’m sad it's done (but hey, great news, I can now reread it from the beginning and binge!). Great job Jo! 💕

While I'm talking about Jo, here's this saucy one-shot Coming Under the Christmas Tree

Joel Miller

Footprints by @sin-djarin - This brought back some Christmas morning nostalgia for me! Joel as a dad and the love he has for Sarah makes me melt. And we have an Uncle Tommy appearance too!

Mr. Ben

SOS by brnn on AO3 - I’m not sure if this creator is on Tumblr, but if they are let me know! I had several chapters of this story built up that I hadn’t caught up on and when the final chapter dropped I binged what I had left! Mr. Ben and OFC Clare are adorable.

Din Djarin

Safe to The Touch by @linzels-blog A touch-starved Din gets some lovin’. 💕

A Baker’s Dozen by @avastrasposts Part 2 in Mel's series saw Din come into the bakery. This was so sweet (no pun intended!).

Other Characters

Good Things Take Time by @oonajaeadira - This series is so good! I've had it recommended to me several times and I've been slowly working my way through it, savoring it because I don't want it to end! I read Parts 2 and 3 this week along with the various drabbles in between. The chemistry these two have is *chef's kiss*

Current Compulsory Series:

These are the series I am keeping up with at the moment.

Holiday Prompts (Various) by @trulybetty - A healthy serving of delicious stories this week. I officially want to move to Maplewood, well, maybe visit. I'll be honest, I'm not made for the cold anymore. 😆 Also, Tim and Cagney continue to be a favorite as are Frankie and Mav! And Dieter made me google Christmas hippo socks which somehow I already did not own! 🦛

Delta Palms Tropical Resort (Frankie) by @linzels-blog The rollercoaster I felt with this latest chapter … I have to know what happens next!!

Destiny & Deliverance (Dieter) by @mysterious-moonstruck-musings This latest chapter had me all up in my feels. These two are 🥹💕

Paranoid Heat (Javi P) by @goodwithcheese I think I've finally managed to pick my jaw up off the floor from the spicy scene in the latest chapter.

Undercover (Tim Rockford) by @secretelephanttattoo Another great chapter update this week, El!! Grumpy Tim and his pet fish are living rent free in my head.

It’s Never Too Late (Javi P) by @javierpena-inatacvest - There is some dad Javi content I need to catch up on!!

Posts from the week:

The moodboards @wildemaven puts out are always gold, but this Frankie holiday-themed board just made me swoon

@laurfilijames made me think about which holiday movies the TF boys would be into. I also hastily made a graphic lol. Speaking of asks @maggiemayhemnj gave me an almost impossible this or that choice. My friend @laughing-in-th3-purple-rain offered up these choices.

If you need a badge for any Pedro boy, @morallyinept has you covered

We got our first look at Pedro in Freaky Tales and oh goodness … the scar. Seriously help us all whenever the Gladiator photos leak.

In case you missed it, the fun writing challenge that’s going around here's another plug. I finally have an idea … now I just need to write it. I think I’m going to end up throwing it back to my college days and cramming this in at the last minute….

Feral corner:

There was simply too much to keep track of this week. I was overwhelmed by thots. I think this post sums things up well.

This photo altered my brain chemistry. This photo of Pedro as Dieter and THEN this video… oh hey Working Title Dieter. 😏 Frankie tummy always gets me. Javi P in this jacket. Talk about gifs you can hear. This outfit - he knew what he was doing when we wore this right?

@foralonglongtime - no pressure but I’m very excited about the prospect of this…

This scene from TLOU forever changed me.

Garrett Hedlund: This man was utterly too much this week. Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C, and finally, the post that started my spiral.

Things I watched:

I didn't make it to the movies this week, Mr. Rhoorl went and saw Godzilla Minus One and loved it. He's a huge Godzilla fan so he was pretty excited to see it. I’m off fo work tomorrow so I’m planning on seeing Wish.

Something that is releasing soon that I'm excited to see is Rebel Moon with Charlie Hunnam on Netflix. It looks like it will be available for my UK fans this week, but we in the US have to wait until the 21st.

Personal Stuff

Busy week. Both Mr Rhoorl and I had PTO on different days this week and we both had our plans thwarted by a sick baby. She's ok now, all good! Otherwise, we've been mostly laying low. I have managed to get most of my holiday shopping done and our Christmas cards arrived so that's exciting! We've also been checking out the various theme parks - I love the way they decorate this time of year! We did a holiday cookie stroll at Epcot last night and it was yummy

Fic updates:

I had Benny Miller brain rot again (when don't I at this point?). Anyway, the result was a third part of what I guess is now the unofficial "Are You on Mute" series. I do have plans for wrapping those one-shots up into something bigger. I just frankly keep having thots I have to get out and it's distracting me😆

I did manage to get a good amount of writing done for the next chapter of Delta Landscaping. Hoping to get the new episode out early this week. Whenever I get down on myself that I'm not updating that series fast enough I remind myself it's essentially like 6 different series in one so therein lies the delays 🫣

This can be such a stressful part of the year, so I hope you are able to take some time for yourself! Have a great week and thanks for reading if you made it this far!

Masterlist

Working Title (Dieter, series, ongoing) | AO3

Delta Landscaping (Triple Frontier, series, ongoing) | AO3

Turbulence (Frankie, one-shot) | AO3

Are You on Mute? (Benny Miller, one-shot) | AO3

Are You on Mute? Part Two

Are You Alone

#rhoorl week in review #rhoorl fic rec #pedro pascal characters fic #garrett hedlund

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intheholler · 2 months

Note

I'm finding myself having less and less patience with people who make fun of Southerners and Appalachians (and rural people in general, though I do find it interesting how they always use our accents to mock all rural Americans...)

I follow a few Appalachian creators on tiktok who post recipes and the comments on their videos are always full of people making fun of their accents. "Um, where can I find 'oll'? I went to the store and all they had was oil 😂" or "'Worsh' must be some new technique I've never heard of!" Or even just basic insinuation that the creator isn't smart and that the food looks gross. It's annoying. I always wanna shake these people and make them remember that making fun of someone's culture is shitty! Just because they've been taught not to respect our culture doesn't mean it's not one.

I do also see lots of comments from the other side, though! Things like "You sound like my mamaw! 🥰" or "As soon as I heard you say 'cast iron' like that I knew the recipe was gonna be good' or "Ooh, nobody can make cabbage taste good like someone from the holler!"

I love seeing the kind of pride that comes from leftists like me who grew up there. I love living outside of Appalachia and making the people around me hear my accent and eating my recipes. I love thinking about the gifts that our home has given to people all over the world: foods, technology, music, inventions.

Basically, thanks for your blog. I love the perspective you bring to Tumblr

"as soon as i heard you say 'cast iron' like that i knew the recipe was gonna be good" YES that's what we wanna see when it comes to comments on our accent 🤩

speaking of, i maintain that the best way to change minds is doin exactly what you yourself are doin--sharing the food, culture & the overall beauty of appalachia complete with its inherently leftist ideals... in a thick ol fuckin accent.

dizzy em with cognitive dissonance until they have no choice but to accept they may actually be wrong! back when my accent was virtually undetectable, i used to love dropping the "oh btw, im from the south" bomb on em after they got to know me and respect me

but unfortunately, yeah, it's too easy for those kinds to just keep being ugly. takes far less effort to crack stale jokes, speak ill of us and call us stupid at every opportunity than, idk, confronting bias and growing as a person. i wonder if we'll ever stop being the butt of their jokes. probably not. fuck em.

anyway, amen to all you said. i have exactly zero patience for it now honestly, especially after getting to know yall and having this little community that has cropped up around my humble lil blog. i feel more protective of our home than ever before and i been gettin loud about it

thanks for sharing your thoughts and for being here <33

#asks #appalachia #appalachian culture #appalachian food #appalachian dialect

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lupiningwolves · 2 years

Note

hi hi >.< i haven’t seen your blog in a while and i’m hoping you still take requests but if not that’s okay!!!

anyway, here it is: reader (of age,, bc otherwise is gross) is home alone for the weekend and her dads best friend was sent to care for her (can be any marauder, favorite is remus though <33) and one night reader comes home drunk from a party and dads bsf is really mad but she is all over him (jumping on his lap, grinding on him, etc, and she’s regularly innocent to him and shy so this is new) and he gives her some water and is kind but is also really mad, maybe f*cks it out of her or just puts her to bed :) key phrases he uses: darling, babygirl, basicallt just a whole lot of babying and pity (good girl if smut)

i’m so so sorry if this is too specific and you don’t have to write it at all if you don’t like it <3 I love your writing sm !! goodnight and goodbye 🌷🌷

a real man | remus lupin x fem!reader

summary: you find out your boyfriend cheated, but he wasn’t what you needed anyway

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, daddy kink, praise kink, grinding, fingering, cumming inside, consume of alcohol

a/n: i hope it turned out okay, this is my first time publishing smut. it’s not proofread btw

—

„he did what?!“, your best friend screamed over the loud music of the club you were in.

you drowned your already second shot. you were sure you needed those to tell her what happened and to get over with what happened yourself. „wanted to surprise him. well, i was the one surprised when i saw him deep inside that girl, screaming his name. i still wonder how he did that, he wasn’t that good in bed.“

your friend chuckled heartlessly. „man, i‘m gonna kill him for doing that.“

„i don’t think you’ll have to. wait until dad finds out. he‘ll go there with sirius, regulus and remus. jake‘s gonna fall dead to the floor just from seeing them.“ you took a sip from your cocktail, the mix between it and the shots already starting to cloud your senses.

„oh, i know your dad. it’s gonna be fun. do you think he’ll take me with them?“ you laughed at her question and ordered new shots.

„i don’t know. but what i know is that i‘m gonna drown the last year of fucking some prick in alcohol.“

—

„where the hell have you been?!“, remus screamed as he opened the door of his best friend’s house to you. you knew he’d be there, your dad saying you can’t be left alone in this state, but he also couldn’t cancel his trip over the weekend with your mom. you weren’t mad at all, you loved that they left, especially when they were leaving you with remus.

you strolled through the door, having to hold onto his arm to not fall to the floor. remus, who had no idea why you got drunk, was already annoyed by your behaviour, lifted you up in hs arms and sat down with you on the couch in the living room. your legs were hanging off his right and he was steadying you with one arm around your back while he was taking your heels off.

„i was worried sick, do you know that?“ he seated you that your legs were now straddling one thigh, looking at him and your core was pressed right against his trousers. „james told me to come and take care of you. and what do i find when i come? nothing. absolutely nothing. you didn’t tell me you were gone, didn’t respond my messages, didn’t answer your fucking phone. look at me.“ your gaze had wandered from his eyes over his veiny hands to his thigh, but it stay there long, because he roughly gripped your jaw and made you look at him. „don’t you have anything to say?“

„i‘m sorry“, you mumbled. remus could hear that you really were, even through the smell of alcohol and your slurred words caused by it. you had no intentions on making him angry, you never had. out of all your mom and dad‘s friends, he was your favourite. sirius always joked with you, regulus taught you how to play the piano, and the girls were just something else. but remus, you always liked to please him. refilling his glass the second it was empty. cooking for him when he came over randomly. doing everything to make him laugh. but you never tried to make him mad at you, not to mention disappointed. all you wanted was his approval and praise.

„that doesn’t excuse it, though.“

you nodded and let your exhausted body fall forward against his chest, burying your face in his neck. the scent of his bitter perfume and chocolate flooded through your clouded senses. „was jus‘ so sad n‘ angry, remmy.“ he stroke your hair out of your face as he listened to you.

„why?“

„he couldn’t satisfy me. my needs. was sad ‘bout that. but liked him, a lot. n‘ then i saw him in her.“

remus flexed hus hands into fists, trying to to punch the pillow besides him. he hated that boy all along, he didn’t deserve you, nor your love and passion. you tried to give him everything, but he returned nothing. remus tried to talk with james about it, but he just claimed you knew best what was good. „i‘m gonna fucking kill him.“

you let out a chuckle. „knew you will.“ remus sat up to talk to you better, but his actions only caused your clothed cunt to rub against the rough fabric of his trousers. a small moan escaped your lips, directly into his ear. he‘d be lying if he said it didn’t turn him on. „oh, remmy“, you sighed and moved against him again. „need to be fucked good. want you to fuck me good“, you whispered in his ear and ground against.

as much as he liked to hear that, he halted your movements with a strong grip on your waist. „y/n, stop this. you’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re doing. c‘mon, i‘ll bring you to bed. and we’re gonna talk tomorrow.“

he brought you upstairs to your room and made you drink a bottle of water before he helped you out of your clothes and into an oversized tee, right before you were passed out on your bed. remus, as sweet as he was, pulled the blanket over you and left after he kissed your forehead.

—

although the pain in your head was killing you, you forced yourself up to brush your teeth and hair. you followed the smell of coffee downstairs to find remus leaning against the kitchen counter, a bottle of water, a cup of coffee and a pill already laid out for you. you swallowed it and drowned it with the coffee.

„morning“, you whispered, ashamed of what you did the night before.

„morning, love. how are you feeling?“, he asked.

„good“, you answered.

„really? i know i wouldn’t if i found out he was cheating on me.“ you shrugged and took another sip of the coffee, trying to ignore how he came closer to you. „but what was that you said last night? he couldn’t satisfy your needs? couldn’t fuck you good?“

„w-what?“ you misheard that, right? he didn’t just say that, did he? and not in a tone that suggested he was gonna do anything, right?

„c‘mon, angel, don’t act all innocent now. tell me what you need.“ you stepped back when he came closer until you were pressed against the wall and he steadied himself with a hand over your head. his other hand came to rest at your hip, but he let it glide over your side up and down. his face came closer and you could feel his breath against your lips. „tell me“, he ordered.

„i need you to fuck me, remus“, you blurted out.

„need a real man to fuck you? hm? that boy couldn’t satisfy you?“, he asked against your lips, whereupon you shook your head. „oh, poor baby“, he mocked. just now you noticed how the only thing you wore was the t-shit and the panties from last night.

„please, remus.“ you tried to buck your hips against his, but he pulled away from you.

„please what? i haven’t fucked you dumb yet, use your words.“

„need you, need you to fuck me, to show me what i deserve.“

it was the only thing he needed before smashing his lips against yours. his hands slid up to your neck and pressed you further into the wall, his body pressed against yours so that you could feel his growing election against you. it didn’t take you long enough to take off his shirt and have your hands buried in his hair. on the other hand, remus lift you up quickly and carried you upstairs to your room, his lips never leaving yours though.

he threw you on your bed, but followed you quickly to take your t-shirt off. you whimpered when the cool air hit your nipples, remus was fast to keep them warmed with his mouth and fingers though. he sucked on them, flicked them between his fingers and gave both the same amount of boundless affection. „hid them from me for too long, baby“, he said and travelled his kissed up to your neck. he left marks, you knew that even without looking. „never gonna do that again, will you?“

„no, daddy“, you moaned his hand grasped you tit again. when you realised what you just said, you looked at him with pure shock and fear written all over your face. you didn’t know you were into this, but the way he treated you just made you melt.

„fuck, angel, never gonna get enough of you“, he mumbled and kissed you deeply again.

you fiddled with his belt, your hands shaky from the will to feel him against you. you just tasted his naked skin against your, but a taste wasn’t enough. you needed more, and you needed it now.

he helped you and pushed his trousers down, leaving him in boxers with his cock stained against it. „need you, daddy“, you mumbled and palmed him through his underwear. you gave him your best puppy eyes, but not even that helped to get what you wanted so badly.

„not yet, baby, need to get you warmed up first.“ he slowly pulled down your panties, your glistening cunt on full display for him now. „my, my…“ his fingers gave you feather touches, from the slit up to your clit, but not enough to satisfy your needs.

„please, daddy, please make me feel good“, you pleaded. and he finally gave in, shoving two of his long fingers in your cunt. „oh, fuck“, you moaned.

they went in and out o you in a steady, rather quick pace, leaving you a moaning, withering mess under remus, who watched you throw your head back with a smirk. „that feel good, sweetheart?“, he asked rhetorically and circled your clit with his other hand.

„good“, you answered.

„there you go, already getting drunk.“

it didn’t take you long to reach your orgasm, the sensation from his fingers were new, something nobody had ever made you feel. „can i cum, daddy? please?“

„go ahead, baby. be a good girl and make a mess for me.“ you let go and moaned his name when you came. you thought you passed out for a second, because the next thing you saw was remus on top of you, holding your hands above your head. „at any point you want to stop, say it and i will, okay?“

„okay“, you answered.

nothing more was needed for him to enter you. he was stretching you out and you let out a shaky breath when he was fully inside of you. after some time, you gave him a nod, receiving a reassuring kiss in return before he slowly moved. his thrusts were slow, but deep, hitting the right angles inside of you.

„fuck, you‘re so tight“, he breathed in your ear.

„s‘good, daddy“, you answered and held onto his biceps when he picked up on speed.

„yeah? is daddy making you feel good? finally getting what you wanted to badly?“ your hum turned into a moan when he drew eights on your clit, adding to the pleasure you were already feeling.

„god, da- mhm, good“, you babbled, not knowing how to form a correct sentence with your mushed brain.

„already cockdrunk, angel?“, he mocked and you nodded, closing your legs around his waist. „fuck, such a good girl. my good girl.“

you second orgasm didn’t wait. remus‘ cock inside of you, hitting every spot, with his fingers on your clit and those words whispered in your ear were everything you every wanted and needed from him. „daddy“, you moaned.

„what?“

„please.“

„can’t give you what you want when i don’t know what it is, baby.“

„cum“, you shouted. „needa cum. now, please, daddy. wanna cum with you.“

„hold on just a little more.“ he was thrusting in you with a restless pace, which had you moaning and turning under him. not much later, when you were clenching around him, his rhythm started to end. „cum now. cum with me.“

„fuck, remus-“, you shouted as you reached your high and felt his cum spurting inside of you. you both rode out your highs before he slowly pulled out of you.

his mood changed quickly. remus stroke your hair our of your sweat covered face and gave you a soft kiss. „stay here, i‘m gonna get you a bottle of water and let the bath fill up.“

you nodded, but held his hand when he was already standing. „i-i like you. for a longer time no, actually. i was just too scared to notice it myself“, you admitted.

„oh, y/n.“ he bent down and kissed your forehead. „i know, it’s okay. i like you, too. now get some rest, i‘ll be right back with you.“

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin smut #remus lupin x reader smut #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x reader fluff #marauders #marauders smut #marauders x reader #marauders x reader smut #harry potter #marauders fluff #harry potter smut

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beautifulpersonpeach · 6 months

Note

namjoon only reworked on face-off and like crazy. the subs for both the commentary and the live show were pretty atrocious and korean is extremely nuanced. plus jimin is probably one of the most humble members who has historically played off his own merit of work before. no one denies that namjoon helped or reworked lyrics, he's there in the credits for a reason. it's just astounding that ppl think he wrote everything when jimin released at least 4 different contents showing his own lyrics.

Ask 2: NAMJOON DID NOT WRITE LIKE CRAZY. What is so hard for you to get??? Fuck you armys acting like he wrote the whole album are you so desperate for clout because your fav is flopping???? Did he even write any lines? Jimin is too humble. He probably just credited Namjoon to be generous. Maybe he wrote one word or two but Jimin showed us his writing process FOUR TIMES you stupid bitch!!! You hagmys keep trying to discredit Jimin. You steal every credit from him and give it to that flopmonster who has to BEG armys to stream his flop music! Jimin did that ogre a favor and instead of you to be grateful you discredit him and give it to RfloppingM like he has any influence on Jimin’s work. You’re worse than shit. With fans like you Jimin doesn’t need enemies. Leave Jimin ALONE.

***

I’ll be getting back to fun asks soon but the volume of asks like this (and worse) that I’ve received since Jimin’s documentary is astounding lmao. It’s as though there’s an epidemic of lack of critical thought that just begs me to clear up. Especially because in this case, the source of confusion: Jimin’s live and the takeaway, is very clear cut and the fact people are struggling with what should be basic, is a damning indication of where too many are headed in this fandom.

Hi Anon in ask 1,

Lol it’s clear you can’t be someone who reads my blog, because if you were you’d know how ironic it is to tell me “Korean is extremely nuanced” given who I am and where I am this very minute lmao. Also, the second posted ask is here for your benefit, given your comment of “no one denies Namjoon helped…”

That said, your ask is a very good mild example of how some people struggle with processing information that contradicts their own views, and care more about signals/actions/words of other akgaes than the reality right in front of them. It’s like that ask I got right after the contract renewals were announced when someone claimed that ‘BTS only renewed group contracts, solo contracts renewals will come later’ despite all of us being privy to the same press release where HYBE announced the renewals… just because that person could not accept that BTS (specifically Jimin) had renewed both group and solo contracts with BigHit.

For some people, unless every single thing is spelled out for them, and even when the piece of referenced media is extremely clear cut, they fill in the gaps with their insecurities to arrive at a conclusion that’s more palatable to their own views. And that’s what you’re showing in this case. I’ll explain what I mean.

The context for your ask is Jimin’s Wlive commentary mentioning how Namjoon stopped by, how Jimin and the pd-nims played the tracklist for him expecting a clap on the back, and instead what they got is Namjoon telling them to go back to the drawing board. Yes the subtitles on Wlive can sometimes be overly simplified, but what both Jimin and Namjoon said, in the Wlive and documentary itself respectively, was itself pretty simple too. Like, what you’ve read is what they actually said. Various ARMYs pointed out Jimin’s reaction to that scene, how he laughed at the shocked and flustered reaction from the production team to Namjoon’s advice to revise it all. That’s the context.

Here’s how akgaes responded:

Pre-emptively claiming it was a mistranslation (it’s not).

Then when faced with the reality that they’d overreacted, claimed ARMYs were saying Namjoon wrote the whole album. Which of course is bonkers and saying this simply because ARMYs mention Jimin and Joon’s words is more an expression of their own insecurity. The only people who could (even in theory) reach that conclusion, are akgaes. Either akgaes for Jimin and Namjoon.

Played up tropes many PJMs are already insecure about which include Jimin being “too humble”, so that Jimin’s comments about Namjoon’s contribution to the album (which we now all know is not a mistranslation), is in part due to Jimin underselling himself.

All three things is what you’ve shown in your ask, despite it being divorced from the reality we all saw.

What Joon actually talked about is how the basis for writing lyrics is the narrative you want to build, which is something that should flow through the whole song and album, and that they’d need to rework it to show this.

Like, again, there is literally no reason this very simple, accessible piece of media should be causing so much grief lmao.

The only reason there’s so much uproar over it is because some very insecure people have hinged their egos on the idea that their chosen idol is infallible and cannot possibly need significant support from members they consider to be below him and his competition. So naturally, they absolutely cannot accept when the members they’ve pitted against Jimin as competition, offer him critical and helpful advise that revamped and improved on the work he did; it pisses them off when ARMYs note it and draw attention to it; and now, given Jimin’s added insight of Namjoon’s critical assessment of the first draft, now they know that when they praise Like Crazy, they are also essentially praising Namjoon’s work, and so they actively look to diminish it.

When the sane response to all this is that it can both be true that Jimin primarily wrote his album, Namjoon contributed not just in writing (based on the credits he has for Like Crazy and Face-off), but also in refining the lyrical message for the project (which he’s not credited for but is now clear after watching the documentary), and that nothing about these facts removed from the quality of work either member put into Jimin’s debut album. FACE is ultimately a culmination of Jimin’s vision, Jimin’s efforts, and Jimin’s talent.

My god, all of this would be obvious if the toxic, mind-rotting disease of intra-fandom competition hadn’t fully infected so many people in Chapter 2. Like, see all I wrote, way too many words, to state yet again something that should be painfully, almost tragically, obvious. All akgae rhetoric has succeeded in doing is dumbing down the quality of conversations we have in fandom spaces, and given how that already was something of a problem within some ARMY pockets, the state of affairs now since the akgae disease caught on presents a pretty grim prognosis.

Anon in ask 1, you might not think you’re an akgae and perhaps you’d struggle to identify yourself with the anon in ask 2, but the underlying assumptions in your ask are identical. And my unsolicited comment is that really should give you pause more than anything else.

Stream Like Crazy for healthy cuticles.

#jimin #park jimin #namjoon #kim namjoon #bts #bts chapter 2 #bts solo stans #jimin face #fandom behaviour #fandom discourse

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tears0fsatan · 2 years

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★! ⛓️ ⟩⟩ beel wants in >:(

𖥻 characters... beelzebub x amab!reader

𖥻 genre... nsfw [??] oneshot

𖥻 warnings... nsfw??, its pretty suggestive me thinks, minors, ageless blogs and fem aligned i will block you if you interact, u feel beel up bit heheheh, PUBLIC ??? KINDA ??? IDK ???, mm dom!reader mmmmm, once again, reader is amab .. i mention readers bulge so ....

𖥻 a.n... fuck off with the beel eating u out / sucking u off propaganda i am here to propose a new idea: teasing this big boy!!!

being the physically biggest brother, beelzebub never experienced what some of his fun-sized brothers experienced. standing proudly at six foot four meant that he was expected to look after everyone else, i mean, why would someone so large need people to look after him, right?

the avatar of gluttony had come to terms with what his size brought and in fact, he rather enjoyed it. but when you, the new human exchange student came and he witnessed his older brothers, asmodeus and mammon, clinging onto you and sitting on your lap, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy.

at first, he didn't understand why. he had lived with older brothers for centuries, he knew just how clingy they could be (especially mammon, regardless of how the second oldest would try and deny it).

it wasn't until belphegor made it a point to cling onto you at every chance he got did beelzebub realise why he felt so envious of his siblings.

he wanted to do that too. he wanted to be coddled the way you coddled mammon. he wanted to be the one in your lap, with all your attention focused on him and him alone.

so when you came home from helping solomon out and being taller than all of the brothers, beelzebub couldn't stop himself from following you around, too embarrassed to bring up what he wanted.

now, while beel may have believed he had been discreet all this time, in reality he had been quite obvious. although what he wanted wasn't quite clear, the longing glances at his brothers sitting on your lap didn't go unnoticed by you.

when you sat down on the couch after dinner, the demon wasted no time in taking up the spot next to you, making the other demons in the household whine and complain.

you smiled when you felt the avatar of gluttony's thigh brush up against yours, he was so cute and yet completely oblivious to it all.

"you know, i'm normally strong enough to hold mon, asmo and belphie... do you think i'm strong enough to hold you now, beel?" you asked aloud, trying not to sound like you had been planning this when you first asked solomon to make you a potion that would make you bigger than beelzebub. it, unfortunately, cost you being a guinea pig for a "special" potion he was working on, whatever that meant, but that was a problem for another day.

"ah no mc, i'm too heavy." the tall demon was quick unstick himself from your side, scooting closer to the other side of your couch.

"yeah beel! i wanna see mc carryin' ya!" mammon spoke up with a newfound excitement. this, got everyone else's attention, even lucifer who was preparing to leave the dinner table paused and looked at the two of you.

"cmon beel, i'm sure i can do it!" you tried, scooting closer to him. he looked puzzled and his moves were hesitant, but when you made an emphasis on how much space your lap had now that you were a giant, he took a deep breath before taking a seat on your lap.

"that wasn't so hard, now was it?" you teased, your hands resting on his hips as you leaned against his back in satisfaction at his compliance. the demons around you cheered and laughed, undoubtedly amused at the absurdity of the situation.

after they had their laughs and took and appropriate amount of pictures, the brothers slowly dispersed, going off to do their own things.

as for beelzebub, well... he didn't know how to feel. and while that was a regular occurrence, this time was different. he felt all kinds of embarrassed and flustered while also feeling very fuzzy and warm and... small. it wasn't often that the demon felt small, hell, he wasn't sure there was ever a time he felt small. that was what asmodeus, mammon and belphegor were, not him. not the tallest of the lords of hell.

yet, here he was. in your lap, in the house of lamentation common room. and you were fine. you were acting like the avatar of gluttony weighed nothing sitting stiffly on top of your thighs.

you felt your shorts tighten at the sight of beel's reddening ears, and you would've been embarrassed if beel wasn't constantly squirming on your lap, clearly not used to all the attention being on him.

"calm down." you instructed quietly, whispering in his ear as you rested your head on his shoulder, your hands moving to feel up and down his body in hope of reducing the gingers nerves.

you felt rather than heard the demon in your lap let out a breath, feeling his body ever so slightly relax at your ministrations.

you hummed and began gently squeezing his thighs, smiling when he took in a sharp breath. your hands moved higher, your touches on his abs and hips staying longer than they would've if you had pure intentions.

"do you wanna go to my room, baby? hmm? would you let me take care of you?"

if his eager nods and quiet whines were anything to go by, you'd say your little demon had been waiting a while for you to utter those words.

#៹ ࣪˖. 🎧 dark mode ﹒ᶻz #obey me #omswd #obey me x reader #obey me x gn reader #obey me x male reader #obey me beelzebub #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me beelzebub x gn reader #obey me beelzebub x male reader #beelzebub x reader #beelzebub x gn reader #beelzebub x male reader #gn reader #male reader #obey me smut #beelzebub smut

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blue-rick24 · 5 months

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A small confession: I have made sure lately to keep up with everyone else’s Rick Bear-related bloggings (as you may have noticed), and it’s so that I can attempt to live vicariously through them for reasons I am embearrassed to say XD

Even though I bought him right at release (which, already, was 6 months & just a few days ago, believe it or not 🥺), I still have not yet found myself in a position where I could have gone and gotten him stuffed.

I’m a bit serious when it comes to my plushies (as a collector & enthusiast) and my Build-a-Bears especially a step above that, with their birth certificates ‘n’ all (there’s also the decade-long attachment I’ve had to them for both the pure fun of ‘em & also some personal reasons) XD

…So, it has almost felt a bit like I’m being a bad bear-parent or something XD (LOL, the word-play/puns you could make XDD). A silly feeling to have, yes 😆 but I still feel it

I QUITE LITERALLY LEFT HIM FOOD (b-a-b food) SO HE SHOULD BE SURVIVING IN HIS BOX JUST FINE LOLL XDD but you don’t even understand how much it hurts my soul as an avid bear stuffer and massive rick fanatic that HE HAS JUST BEEN SITTING THERE AS A SACK OF FUR 😭😭XX’DDDD!!!

I’ve been teased (don’t worry, I’m sure it was in good nature) a bit recently abt it lol XD and from that I’ve found that this particular ‘failing’ of mine being pointed out really.. sorta… stings XD I’m pretty embarrassed about it (I tend to put lots of pressure on myself, too, which absolutely does not help) and it’s just one of those things that I’ll feel down about when I think of it

But seeing all of you guys enjoying him really lifts me up!!!

I want nothing more than to cuddle a well stuffed Rick boi of my own!! XXDD (well, aside from having an improved mental health… Ig it’s whichever comes first, at this rate xD)

I love him so much that I even drew him! Don’t tell anybody I’m nervous XXDD

Reblogs are off but replies aren’t (I love & welcome chatting 😄) & if you guys don’t dislike me for my strange developing attitude towards this probably really menial thing then maybe I’ll just put them back on LOL

It’s weird; I literally have zero problems when it comes to my confidence towards being a deranged rick fanatic LMAO XDD

But this? because I’ve been teased & it’s just been months that I’ve been able to get in my head about it even when I was sure for a while that like almost noone even knew of the bear’s existence??? It’s got me fucked up LAWL

And for all of those who are thinking it: please just note that I don’t do disgusting things to my plushies or stuffed animals. I don’t care what you do but seriously I don’t do that myself. I’m really all about treating my items with respect and, hell, you can’t even find me cuddling with them if I am not certain that I’m wearing clean clothes or not XXDD (I sure as well can’t get myself to sleep with them OOF that sounds like a collector [me]’s nightmare XXDD)

#rick bear #rick and morty #rick sanchez #rickkisser #rickfucker #my post #rick and morty merch #merchandise #stuffed animals #build-a-bear #txt #ooc #venty #positive #wholesome #weird #anecdotes #suggestive #mature

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gallavichthings · 7 months

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Writer's Spotlight - Rita

This interview is long overdue and has been long in the making! I'm super pleased and excited to finally present a friend and my right arm on this blog, Rita aka @sickness-health-all-that-shit aka whatyouandihave on AO3, author of Lifeline, Possiblities, Short&sweet and several other fics, and some great gifs too!

R: I grew up in a small-ish town, dreaming about going to university, finding a job I loved, and living on my own with a cat as my companion. I'd say my 13-year-old self would be pretty happy with how my life turned out! I've always been into tv shows and films, plus languages and literature (that's what I mainly studied at uni) and I've managed to find a job that combines those things, which is the absolute dream! I translate and adapt lines into Italian so that dubbing actors can replace the original dialogues of movies, tv shows, documentaries and the like. Besides reading and writing and watching shows, I love travelling, enjoying good food and spending time with my family.

GT: Oh, that's a great job! It looks like you're living your dream, and I'm very happy for you! I assume you must watch all kinds of shows for your job, but what do you watch in your leisure time?

R: Yeah, for work I've had to watch plenty of children's cartoons, anime and lots of unscripted programs like reality television, cooking competitions and things like that. All stuff I would not watch in my spare time 😁 Some of my favourite shows are Btvs, Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, The Office, Outlander, Derry Girls, Peaky Blinders, Dexter and Shameless. I also watch a lot of British comedy panel shows (Taskmaster, QI, Big fat quiz of the year etc) and stand up comedy.

GT: Oh, some of my favorites on this list! Do you read/write fics for these other fandoms as well?

R: Nope! I actually came to fanfic pretty late, despite all the years spent lurking in fandom spaces. I only really started reading fics about 4 years ago, and that was after the Ian and Mickey prison reunion, having binged the first 8 seasons of Shameless a few months before that. I had read a couple fics for other fandoms over the years, but I honestly wasn't that interested. I was content with just rewatching the shows I loved and maybe making up my own headcanons, but nothing more. I guess you could say Ian and Mickey have made a fanfiction convert out of me!

GT: What was it about them that you think made you want to write your own fics, especially coming into the fandom late, as you said yourself, when there were already a lot of fics written.

R: Honestly, it just looked like so much fun to play around with them and all the themes you could explore through their story. When I first started reading fics, it opened so many avenues in my mind (I was so convinced I wouldn't be into AUs at first. Wrong!) and I was also reading tons of meta that had been posted on Tumblr over the years, which I had a lot of thoughts about. I think part of it was about needing a creative outlet at that point. I hadn't really written fiction before, and definitely not in English, but I think I'd always wanted to try and write stories. Building a world and creating characters from scratch would have been way too daunting, but playing around with my Ian and Mickey 'dolls' was instant, cathartic fun. There's just so much potential there, so much history and emotional depth to these characters and their love story that keep me coming back to them over and over.

GT: Do you tend to write more from Ian's or Mikey's pov?

R: I alternate a lot depending on the vibe of fic, but I guess maybe Ian's? The longest multichapter I have up is almost entirely written in Ian's pov, and one fic I'm writing at the moment that's gonna be longer than my usual is also from his pov. I have a lot of fun with Mickey's, but I really love exploring Ian's inner world in depth.

GT: What do you consider your forte when writing fic, the thing that comes to you more easily? And what do you struggle with sometimes?

R: I love writing dialogue the most, and I think I'm pretty good at making it sound in character for them and nailing their voice. I definitely struggle with descriptions and maybe pacing. I'd love to write a slow burn but I don't think they're for me. I get too impatient lol

GT: What kind of fics do you write the most?

R: I mostly write one-shots, but hope to work on more multichapters in the future. I've also posted a series of short ficlets. Lots of fluff, some angst, though always with a happy or at least hopeful ending. Maybe someday I'll try my hand at some smut? Who knows. A lot of my fics tend to be either canon compliant fill-ins that expand on canon scenes or different first meeting AUs, especially meet-uglies. I also like including Mandy and exploring her friendship with Ian and sibling relationship with Mickey. I love writing banter and sprinkling in humour in my fics.

GT: I'm a huge sucker for meet-uglies! Which of your fics are you the proudest of?

R: Oh, the one I'm most proud of has got to be The stranger in my brother's bed. It was my first stab at a multi-chapter, my first AU and a chance to play around with different POVs and an unfolding plot. It's also still my most popular fic to date. It's very sweet and fluffy and warm. When it comes to one-shots my favourite I've written is probably Unexpected, a dialog-heavy meet-ugly with lots of banter and flirting. And then there's Caught me by surprise, my second attempt at a multi-chapter that's still currently a WIP. I do hope to finish those last two chapters someday, but I'm proud of it all the same. It's the longest thing I've written and I got to have fun with tropes like Fake dating, Secret relationship and Bed sharing.

GT: Are there any tropes or ideas you haven't had a chance to explore yet but you'd like to someday?

R: I'd like to write some fill-ins for the early seasons, especially exploring Mickey's pov. Of course a lot of amazing fics like that exist already, but it'd be a chance to expand on my headcanons and do some interesting character studies. Other than that, I have a few ideas for plot-heavy stories that sometimes I think might be too ambitious for me but also can't get out of my head. If I ever write them, they may feature tropes such as Childhood friends, Soulmate AU, Private investigator AU, and even a Genie AU, though fantasy is definitely not my go-to genre. I'd also love to write an angsty Enemies to lovers or a classic Roommates AU. And maybe some canon divergent stuff.

GT: Where do you get inspiration from?

R: Movies and tv shows I watch, stories I read or random posts I see on Tumblr are all potential sources of inspiration for me. Sometimes I'll get particularly obsessed with a line a character said in canon or a certain scene and a story just forms in my head around it. And when all else fails, I go looking for a prompt that speaks to me to get things going.

GT:What about motivation? Do you force yourself to take time to write or do you wait for motivation to strike randomly?

R: I'm still trying to find a balance that works when it comes to motivation, to be honest. I've gone many months waiting for motivation to strike, and getting more and more frustrated and disappointed the longer I waited in vain for it to come. Other times I'll try to force it, but end up convincing myself I have lost any ability to write I once had 😅 I definitely work better with some sort of deadline and 'peer pressure'. That's why I'm trying to participate in as many fandom events as I can at the moment. I struggle with anxiety, so I used to think it would be too stressful for me, but I need some structure in order to be productive. And sometimes it is a matter of getting yourself to write a little bit (almost) every day, just to move things along and keep the momentum going.

GT: What's your writing process like?

R: If it's something long or plot heavy I'll prepare a bit of an outline first, but I'm not generally big on outlines. When I go to write, I'm usually sitting on my bed or couch with my laptop. I tried having music on or ambient sounds, but honestly I work better in silence. I think of the scene I want to describe and the thoughts and feelings I want to convey and watch it as a film in my head, hearing the characters voice the dialogue. Then I put it all into words, if they behave that day and just come to me 😁 I first do a rough draft, trying not to edit too much as I go but just keeping going until I reach either the end of the story (in the case of a short-ish one-shot) or a good stopping point. Then once it's done I start editing, filling in details I left out, double checking things online and making various changes until I'm reasonably satisfied with it. At that point I'll send it over to my beta reader.

GT: Do you write about other characters or ships as well? If not, would you someday?

R: No, not really. Even if I include other Shameless characters, the focus is always on Ian and Mickey and their relationship. And I don't think I'll ever write about anyone else. I have a bit of a one-track mind when it comes to ships and fandoms. I can only really focus on one at a time, and even if I love lots of other shows and media, I don't feel the need to create for them, or be all that involved. I think that, beyond my fascination with Ian and Mickey as characters and as my all-time favourite ship, this fandom space and the community I share this passion with has a lot to do with my continued participation in it. I don't think I'd be still writing and posting fic if it wasn't for all the wonderful people that create and enjoy fanworks about Ian and Mickey alongside me. They're a huge part of what inspires me and motivates me to keep creating.

GT: Definitely. It's incredible to me how much the fandom has grown and changed, while still being welcoming.

What about OCs, do you have any? Do you create them based on real people or just whatever you need them for?

R: I only occasionally create OCs for specific purposes, though most often I try to cast other Shameless characters in the roles I need if possible. I had fun with Mr. Binckley in my most recent fic for GGE, The Ghost of Christmas Fuck You, and last year, again for GGE, I created two OC children for How I met your dad. I don't see myself using them for other fics in the future, though I really admire writers who can create fully fleshed out OCs and have them recur in more than one of their stories.

GT: What about reading fics, what makes you choose something to read (and what would make you give up on reading something)?

R: I usually trust authors I already know and love, and who tend to write the sort of fics I go for anyway. But I'll give any story a chance if the premise sounds intriguing. So a good summary will draw me in, for sure. I love any kind of meet-cute or meet-ugly, and enemies or friends-to-lovers. I'll read fluff, smut or angst depending on my mood, but always with a happy ending. I like any sort of AU, but I steer away from fantasy in general, and prefer things set in the present day (though I do enjoy science fiction as a genre so space, time travel, etc. might attract me to a fic). I don't read a/b/o, mpreg or mcd. I'll give up on reading something if it's just a wall of text or riddled (and I do mean riddled) with typos. Also if I feel that something is written way too out of character to the point where I barely recognise them as Ian and Mickey.

GT: Can you name some of those authors you already know and love?

R: Sure! @goodkwuestion, @beckyharvey29, @damnnmilkovich, @gallavichy, @jellovich, devovitsuasartes and @crazynadine are some of my all-time favourites.

GT: What about some favorite fics?

R: You can bite me by Shamelessquestions, all comes down to you by BeckyHarvey29, Bad Date by @thevioletjones, the Southside Forever series by proval, You make me feel human by Dragona, Two of your earth minutes by @the-rat-wins, So Sleeping fucking Beauty, right? by @cjmarlowe, sideways by @whaticameherefor, Maintenance by devovitsuasartes, Love is a ballfield by and_i_take_it. There are many others, but these are some of the ones that have really stayed with me.

GT: Do you ever reread fics?

R: Oh yeah, I've definitely reread some of the ones above. I've been in a reading slump for a long while now though, which is why the fics I've mentioned are almost all older ones, and a lot of those writers aren't active anymore. There are so many amazing new authors writing brilliant fics at the moment, but often I end up just reading snippets of their work or their drabbles on Tumblr, so that's why I haven't mentioned them here. I've got so many incredible fics to catch up on! But brains are weird like that, you know?

GT: Oh, I totally get that! What about your own, do you reread those?

R: Not often. I tend to publish something and then not look at it again, focusing on the next project instead. There's a little bit of a cringey feeling for me when I think about rereading my own fics, but then when I do happen to read a bit of one I'm like 'Hey. This is good, actually. I do not remember writing this, but wow. Good job, me.' 😆

GT: You make gifs too, right? Have you ever made a gifset for a fic, yours or someone else's?

R: Yep! I've made a single gif for my most recent fic, The Ghost of Christmas Fuck You, and also for an older one, Ready to do this. I really want to make gifs/graphics for my fics more often in the future, actually. And I once made a gifset inspired by a quote from Cooperative gameplay by grayola.

GT: Do you make moodboards or playlists when planning a fic?

R: Hmm not really. I sometimes look up images to help me visualise a particular scene, but it's not a regular habit of mine.

GT: Let's talk about Shameless. You said you binged the first 8 seasons? That must have been a wild ride.

R: Haha oh, yeah. I remember watching the first 5 seasons in just one week, then slowing down considerably for s6 and s7, and I think season 8 took me a full month to get through. At that point s9 was a couple of months away, and I alternated between a faint hope for some kind of reunion between Ian and Mickey and just bitter disappointment for the state of the show such as it was at that stage. I absolutely died when the prison reunion happened. I watched that scene on a loop for days, and when I came back up for air I went looking for all the fics I could find. Especially ones set in prison or detailing their life after prison, since I was so convinced they were off the show for good. But of course that's not how it went. What a wild ride indeed! Those days were so crazy for me lol

GT: How did it feel to come into such a large, albeit somewhat asleep at the time, fandom?

R: It was weird because I wasn't on Tumblr at the time. I'd had a blog before but then left for a few years and once I got into Shameless I didn't immediately come back to it. I looked up news about the show on Reddit of all places. Then around the time I started reading fic, I found a little blog called gallavichthings ❤️ where I caught up on all the meta that had been written over the years (and gifsets and art and everything else). I only made my new blog when s10 was about to start, right around the time I posted my first fic on AO3. And at that point the fandom was being revived by I&M being on the show again and by the news that they'd be getting married by the end of season 10. It was my first real experience of being active in a fandom like this, so it was pretty wild for me. It was definitely not as nice and chill as it is nowadays, that's for sure.

GT: Awn, I'm glad to be part of your Gallavich journey.

Are you able to select a favorite season, seeing as you saw them kind of all together?

R: Oof the earlier seasons are all so special in their own ways. But when I got to season 4, the grip this show had on me had reached the highest levels. Despite Ian being gone for so much of it, or maybe because of it, since his absence was so deeply felt and instrumental for us to see sides of Mickey we hadn't seen before. I'm a sucker for some good pining. And then the second half of the season was such a rollercoaster of emotions... Ugh. Plus it was also an amazing season for the other characters (Fiona especially, who I love so much). So dark and intense, and it felt like a more 'adult' season than previous ones. It just hurt so good.

GT: What's your favorite episode overall?

R: It's hard to choose a favourite, but I think ep 4x11, Emily.

GT: Oh, that's a fantastic one! What about a favorite scene?

R: Maybe the s5 dugouts scene in 5x10. The way it's filmed, the lighting, the music, the rawness of the emotions... it hurts like hell to watch them hurt each other, but then there's that sense of release, and of new hope when they're finally on the same page again and happy... and then it gets taken away from them, because we can't have nice things. But that scene is such a little gem, and it never fails to make me feel all the feels.

GT: If you could go back and change only one thing about the show, what would you change?

R: The quality drop in the later seasons? lol. Honestly, as happy as I am that we got to see Ian and Mickey get married and be husbands, the show was just unrecognisable by the end. So I'd have it end sooner. Have the s7 finale be the final episode of the show, but with a happy ending for Ian and Mickey, obviously.

GT: Speaking of, what did you think of the ending?

R: I wish I could say I was satisfied with it, but yeah, no. It was way too open ended, I only liked where they left things for Ian and Mickey, and I should count myself lucky for that, really. The parallels they tried to do with the pilot and season 1 mostly fell flat for me, but then, like I said, the show was a shadow of its former self by that point. There was too little left to enjoy for me. I don't think I would've watched s10 and 11 at all if it wasn't for Ian and Mickey.

GT: How do you headcanon Ian and Mickey's life together after the ending?

R: I think they live in that apartment for a couple years, then get a house closer to where they grew up. They keep in touch with family and spend holidays with the other Gallaghers. They get a pet or two, and eventually adopt or foster kids, a few years down the line. Mickey takes over the security business, while Ian finds a way to use his medical training again to help the community. They'll be happy, safe and in love for the rest of their lives. ❤️

The happily ever after they deserve.

GT: Well, that's it from me. Thank you so much for your time! Now leave a message to those reading this.

R: This was great, thank you! And thanks to everyone in this little corner of the Internet. Whether you create or simply enjoy creations and support them, you are a vital part of something really special. Thank you for being on this ride with me, and here's to another year full of ideas, events, collaborations, and lots and lots of fun!

#Gallavich #Ian x Mickey #Shameless #Shameless US #Gallavich fanfiction #Ian Gallagher #Mickey Milkovich #Writer's Spotlight #sickness-health-all-that-shit #mod post

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