#(she’ll be like ‘you left so I took over this territory. don’t ask for it back. also get out’)

[pangur-and-grim]

I’m excited to get home 😭 there’s this special meow Pangur does when I return from trips, like ‘good god you’re alive!’ and I find it very cute. and she always wants me to hold her for a couple minutes while she goes completely limp. cats are excellent little creatures

#grim too #she does this thing where she’ll be standoffish and first and pretend not to give a shit that I’m back #and then after 10-30 minutes she’ll break and try to crawl onto me physically and will not take no for an answer #so then I will have to sit down for a bit wherever I am with a Grim on me #(the rabbit on the other hand will just growl and me and maybe box my ankle) #(she’ll be like ‘you left so I took over this territory. don’t ask for it back. also get out’) #(but will also be very happy to get some head scratches once I dodge all the claw raking)

[blueberry-ovaries]

CHAPTER THREE : BROKEN NOSES ARE A GREAT CONVERSATION STARTER

A/N: thank you guys for reading hiraeth! This chapter is longer than the last, but i’m not to sure if i’m happy with it as much… However, Winnie’s back story gets explained slightly more so yay!

Word Count: 2.7k

Content Warnings: descriptions of war related wounds, PTSD, blood, violence, my horrible writing of dialogue for certain characters, probable OOC

< previous chapter > - < next chapter >

After Eugene Roe, brazenly reset her nose, and Winnie had again showered. She found herself sitting on the steps to the barracks. Cigarette in hand, she smoked, even though she knew if her mother saw her right now, she’d pull her by the ear and smack across the back of the head. But she wasn’t here. So Winnie sat listening to the crickets chirping under the Georgian sky.

The sun set two hours ago, all that was left was the inky black of the sky, spotted with small stars. She couldn’t make out any constellations, the southern cross wasn’t all too present this far away from home. She liked to think that maybe back home, her siblings and parents were looking up at the same stars, wondering what life was like on the other side like she was. But, maybe that was her just being hopeful.

Somewhere between the end of her first cigarette and the start of her second, the door of the barracks creaked open. The planks groaning under the weight of this new person. Without turning her head, Winnie took another drag of her cigarette.

“Alright if i sit with you again?” a soft voice sounds from behind her

Looking back with a small smile, Winnie gives a small nod, and turns back to look out at the sky.

“You don’t gotta sit with me” she answers, tapping the butt of her cigarette “or pretend to be my friend ‘cause you feel bad”

The stars were out in numbers tonight, not a cloud in the sky.

“I ain’t doing nothing cause i feel bad” Shifty frowns as he sits beside her

Releasing a short huff of air out of her nose, Winnie takes another drag, before turning to look at him, really look at him.

“Sorry” she mumbles “for assumin’. I get the feeling most people around here don’t want me here”

Shifty shuffles slightly in his spot, taking to looking up at the sky rather than at Winnie. She can tell by the way he fiddles with his fingers, he’s nervous.

“Well, i guess i ain’t most people” He turns to look at Winnie “i figured if you can beat us all up currahee… and can fight, i got no problem with you bein’ here”

Winnie gives him a soft smile, stamping out her cigarette with a nod

“That’s… really nice to hear, thank you Shifty”

The two sit in silence, listening to the crickets chirp. The door to the barracks open again, floorboards creaking under the weight.

“How’s the nose?” a southern drawl breaks the silence

Winnie and Shifty both look behind them, making eye contact with Eugene.

“Still on my face” her lip quirking slightly

“What happened to your nose?” Shifty asks confused

“Broke it” she answers bluntly “doc here had to reset it”

“Well are you alright? how did you break it?” Shifty’s tone is quite frantic. It was nice to have someone care about you, even if you just met them.

“She’ll be fine, it’s back in place” Eugene answers slowly

“Passed out running currahee” Winnie gives a small smile and a nod at Shifty, reassuring the man that, yes, she would be fine “but, it’s not the worst wound i’ve had, im sure i’ll survive a broken nose”

The worst wound, to heal by far was the bullet that went through her torso, missing her major organs, apparently bursting an appendix. it was a miracle Winnie had survived, given that the doc was a weasily man from up far northern territory, and had barely passed highschool. The most constant was the wound on her right knee, a piece of shrapnel slicing through, sometimes the nerves in her knee pinch, when it’s too cold, or she’s over worked.

But psychologically? the wound on her cheek held the most pain. Nightmares, and flashes of the man hell bent on taking her life that night. The wound itself wasn’t all too painful, a sharp knife slices through skin and muscle like it’s melted butter. Sometimes she can still smell the hot breath of the Nazi soldier when the cooks make beans. Sometimes the sound of metal makes her body tense, muscles freezing impossibly tight. It wasn’t luck that saved Winnie that night, it was the work of a rabid dog forced to chew of its own leg to be set free, cornered by a force bigger and stronger, barring teeth and biting flesh.

“…Winnie?” Shifty’s voice is soft, like the way one soothes a wild animal, was he scared of her like she was of herself?

“Sorry… what?” she breaks her stare at the grass, brown and dehydrated.

“I asked if you was alright?” He looks at her with worry

Turning her head to look at both men, Winnie nods

“I’m fine, sorry… just remembered something” she waves a hand like it was no big deal

“i hope you don’t mind my asking” Shifty asks “did you serve before this… is that what you’re remembering?”

Winnie winces slightly, having people know she served usually never ended up well for her. Either they believed she was a liar woman can’t serve, stop playing pretend and let the real soldiers get the honours, shame on your father for allowing a girl to serve in his place or they all wanted to know what it was like, what she had seen, felt.

“Something like that” she winces

Eugene stands closest to the door of the barrack, silently taking in the scene, Shifty stares at Winnie, a look of shock on his face

“Is that why you’re so good at runnin’?” Shifty breaks the silence first “you know, with all the gear and everything aswell”

A short huff of air is the response, before she decides to give a proper answer

“Yeah, had to get good at running and carrying things” she confirms

“You ain’t from around here are you?”

“Not even close, australia.” she smiles proudly

“What’s it like?” Shifty asks with genuine interest

Winnie looks out at the pitch black sky and sighs

“I’ll tell ya what, it’s late and i’m sure we have to be up early, i’ll tell you at breakfast” Winnie smiles. It wasn’t a question, she would tell him tomorrow, not tonight.

“I’d like that” he smiles giddily “the doc too?”

“If that’s what he wants” Winnie confirms, looking up at Eugene

——

Winnie did not end up telling Shifty and Doc about Australia the next morning. Easy company, curtesy of Sobel, we’re woken at the ass of dawn, and dragged up currahee. Thankfully, not in full packs.

Under the early morning sun, post currahee run. Sobel had told easy company to stand in a group around the large grassy area near the barracks. In rows, each soldier stood with their chins tilted up and waiting with baited breaths for their next instructions

“Lieutenant Winters, do you know as to why we are standing in the field today?” bellows Sobel’s voice. Like nails on a chalk board

Lieutenant Winters shifts his gaze towards Sobel, a look of hesitation in his eyes as he answers

“To fight, sir” as bluntly as usual, he answers

“Correct. Today Easy company will undergo the art of hand to hand combat.” Sobel’s voice

When Winnie made eye contact with Sobel, her body began tingling with nerves. His small smirk and vengeful glint in his eyes told Winnie all she needed to know. This was going to hurt.

“I will pair you up, and you will do your best to get the other man to the ground” He lets his announcement hang in the air “by any means necessary, until they tap out ”

Whispers erupted from around Winnie as she took to manually breathing. She was confident in her fighting ability. She can fight, has fought men twice her size before. But when her CO is actively scheming to send her back to her poor mother in a casket? That’s a whole new level.

“When i state your name, find an open area and wait for your next instructions” Lieutenant Winters spoke. For a man in position of power, he spoke firmly yet not harshly, like he knew we respected him, even without the bravado.

“Malarky and Luz” Winters calls out names, most of the men had partners, except for Winnie, two smaller men she learnt are Perconte and Muck… and a muscular man with a frown that she thinks is permanent on his face.

Give me Muck or Perconte, give me a small person to start. Winnie had her eyes screwed shut, fingers crossed behind her back.

“Toye and…” Winters lets out a sorrowful sigh “Hayes”

shit. this is really going to hurt.

——

Toye and Winnie stand opposite each other. Sizing each other up before their fight. Sure she had experience, but he was bigger and stronger and probably pissed, if the look on his face was anything to go by.

“When i say so, you and your partner will partake in hand to hand combat. And you will not stop until either one of you taps out or in the case of a blackout.” Sobel’s voice carries over the group. “you may use any body part in aiding your victory”

Beside Winnie and Toye, on their right was Shifty and Talbert, the former staring at Winnie, his eyes downturned as he frowned in worry.

Rolling her shoulders with a deep, shaking sigh, she runs through a mental checklist. He’s bigger, which means he could be slower, but given the way he stands he looks like he’s seen a few fights. If i can get him to the floor, i’d have to make sure to not be the one on the ground.

“You may begin.” Sobel smirks as he directs his eyes towards the small Australian.

——

Toye and Winnie exchanged nods, both pulling their hands into closed fists.

“I don’t wanna hurt you” Winnie sighed

“I wouldn’t worry about it doll” he smirks, voice raspy.

Winnie rolls her eyes, as they start to circle each other.

He throws the first punch. Winnie dodges, too slow. His fist makes contact with her chin, pain blossoming in her jaw. With a slight wince, Winnie jabs out with her left fist, her weak hand, with a small tap to his chest

“Come on sweetheart, that all you got?” he taunts with a smirk

Winnie narrows her eyes, and clenches her fists

“Fine.” she huffs, cracking her neck.

Jabbing out her right hand, she makes contact with his cheek. Toye retaliates with another punch to her jaw. The two trade punches back and forth. Many of the men had finished their fight, now watching on as Winnie and Toye found their selves on the floor.

He has her locked into a headlock. Winnie squirms to free her arm, swinging it back into his stomach. She sees men out of the corner of her eye exchanging money and placing bets

“Come on Joe, you gonna let her get you like that?” comes from a loud mouthed man

Sobel and Winters push through the crowd forming, The formers eyes glaring down at Toye and Winnie fighting in the dirt. Winnie has her chest to the ground and armed pinned behind her back, With an armed wrapped around her neck.

She heaves. Chest constricting as she fights to get the hand away from her neck. panicked.

German soldier. Knife. Scar. Dirty uniform. i can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. fight back, fight back!

Her eyes widen, tears collecting as she twists and squirms

“Come on doll, tap out.” Toye grumbles “you ain’t gonna win this one”

Her chest shudders and heaves as the half intakes of air cause her lungs to burn.

“what’s a pretty thing like you doing here”. Teeth flashing, in a predatory grin. The course sand on my back and the moon shining brightly, so beautiful despite the horrors she sees from her chair in the sky.

“She just fuckin’ bit me!” he yells

The tangy metallic coats her tongue as she scrambles backwards. Chest heaving as the world around her becomes mere background noise, eyes widening and darting around her surroundings. The blood drips from her chin onto her training shirt. out. out. out.

Unsteadily she stands, shaky breaths and wobbling knees. The looks of horror on the faces of the easy men blur together

“-nie?” a soft voice calls, Shifty, a hand carefully placed on her shoulder

“Don’t fucking touch me” her voice shakes, eyes red rimmed with tears as she bats the hand away.

She needed to get out. Backing away in horror to what she had done, she ran, ignoring the angry calls of her name, and the curses at her actions. Tears burning in her eyes, and blood smeared on her face.

——

Her knees gave out somewhere near the barracks she had never been to. A hidden place between the barracks and the tree line, Winnie kneeled over on her hands and knees, heaving up what little food she had eaten that morning.

Tears steaks down her flushed cheeks, as she shakes uncontrollably. get it together. Her shoulders shake as she takes deep breaths, her chin stained a slight red.

She falls back, sitting amongst the grass and trees, pulling her legs up to her chest, she lays her head against her knees as she stares out at the wildlife. Her cheeks red, tear marks stained down to her chin, leaving lines through the dried blood. she was a rabid dog who couldn’t control herself, all instincts telling her to bite instead of bark.

A cool breeze settled around the camp. The late afternoon weather change starting to draw in. She’d sat out in the brush for twenty minutes before she was found.

“I’m assuming you’re the ‘Hayes’ they’ve been looking for?” A man’s voice calls out

Hastily wiping the tears from her cheeks and scrubbing the blood off her chin with the back of her hand, as much as she could anyway, she turns to stare up at him

“I suppose i am” she mumbles

He was tall, and handsome. A frown etched onto his face, as he plucks out a cigarette and lights it

“You… uh got some…” he wipes at his own chin

For such a handsome man, one would think he was able to hold a conversation

“I don’t bite… you can sit” Winnie mumbles

“That’s not what i’ve heard” his lip ticks at the corner slightly

Winnie’s body freezes, jaw clenching tightly as she looks up with widening eyes

“I- well-“ she stutters

“I’m pulling your leg kid” he states, sitting down a good foot away from her

Winnie nods absently, wiping harshly at the blood on her chin, now clear of the remnants of her fight.

“How bad?” she asks softly, playing with her fingers

“Hmm?” he muses “his finger is still attached and functioning if that is what you are implying.”

“Good… that’s good” she nods “don’t want people to think i’m some sort of… psychopath who bites off peoples fingers”

“The way i see it, nothing wrong with people being scared of you” he smirks “even tertius knew the value of being feared”

Winnie freezes and stares up at the man with sad eyes

“I don’t want people to be scared of me” she whispers “i just want them to like me… i just want to make friends here, not make people afraid”

The man gives a small frown, one she assumes is rare for the stern looking soldier

“Ron” he nods around a puff of his cigarette before offering it to Winnie

“Excuse me?” she raises an eyebrow, hesitantly taking the cigarette

“If you want friends, you need to know their name, no? unless that has changed” he supplies

Winnie takes a puff of the cigarette and hands it back with a thankful smile

“it’s nice to meet you Ron” she smiles “everyone calls me Winnie.”

maybe, just maybe, she could survive this war.

——

A/N: HI! thank you for reading chapter three of hiraeth! i hope it didnt disappoint! :)) ALSO: you can pry rabid dog imagery from my cold dead hands.

TAG LIST: @malarkgirlypop @mads-weasley @footprintsinthesxnd @bucky32557038ww2 @grumpy-liebgott @executethyself35

#hireath #hiraeth fic #hiraethoc #band of brothers #babe heffron #ronald speirs #bandofbrothers #dick winters #eugene roe #george luz #hbowar #band of brothers #donald malarkey #band of brothers fanfiction #band of brothers fic

[acciotherapists]

Little Sparrow (Chapter 8)

Loki x Reader Mafia AU

When Tony Stark's little sister wakes up deep in enemy territory she assumes her life is over. She'll be killed or worse: used as a bargaining chip against her estranged brother. What happens when the mafia leader, Loki Laufeyson, offers her a deal she can't refuse? No sentiment. Only revenge. What happens when the truth is revealed? Will she betray her only family or betray the man she loves to hate? Little Sparrow is an enemies to lover's fic riddled with betrayal and spice!

I woke to screaming. My screaming as I was lifted out of bed and dragged away. I clutched the sheets, trying to find purchase, searching for Loki.

“Loki!” I screamed as a large, green hand covered my mouth.

“Hush, Y/n,” the Hulk growled into my ear and I struggled in his grip.

My mind was running through a million different possibilities. How did they find me? Where was Loki? Did they hurt him?”

My head was throbbing as I struggled to get free and I felt a warm, sticky liquid begin seeping from my head.

“Bruce…”

He looked down at me, his eyes wide and he morphed into Bruce, gently laying me down. “Y/n, what’s going on?” He looked around frantically. “Tony! Something’s wrong with Y/n! Her head was bandaged and she’s bleeding through the bandages.”

There was a pause before Bruce spoke again. “I know… I know! I’m trying, damnit!”

The door suddenly burst open and Bruce was sent flying back against the wall as Loki approached. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry.” He tossed a book to the side, placing his hand on my head. A warmth surrounded me as I turned to read the cover of the book.

Advanced Healing.

He removed the bandage from my head, gently tucking my hair behind my head. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I just wanted to help you… and I didn’t know how.”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” I hissed as Bruce stood up, morphing into the Hulk once again. I moved in front of Loki as the Hulk raised an arm, ready to strike.

“Move,” he growled.

“No.”

“Now.”

“No.”

He huffed angrily and the door opened again as Tony, Wanda, Steve, and Natasha entered the room.

“You need to let her go,” Wanda said calmly, the red glow in her hands a menacing contrast to the calm of her voice.

“Like I said… I’m not holding her hostage.”

“Bruce said she was bleeding.”

“He healed me,” I replied.

“How did you get hurt?” Tony asked.

I chuckled. “You know me. I’ve always been clumsy.”

Tony scoffed, looking at Bruce. “Did she have any other marks indicative of a fall?”

He shook his head no.

I rolled my eyes. “I stumbled backwards and I hit my head. It’s not a big deal, Tony. Would you drop it already?”

Tony turned to Loki. “She’ll never be happy with you. You know that, don’t you?”

Loki said nothing.

“She’ll never be happy here… in this life.”

“Shut up, Tony,” I hissed. I could see Loki out of the corner of my eye, his jaw twitching in anger.

Tony scoffed. “It’s true, Y/n, and you know it is. You’ll never truly be happy in this life… with a murderer.”

“No? But I’m supposed to settle for a man who left me in the woods to die. At least Loki never left me! You forget, dear brother, it took you two whole days to even realize I was missing. I was gone for a few hours and Loki was already worried.”

Tony chuckled. “Because he’s a control freak who has to know your every move.”

“No, because he actually cares whether I live or die!” I shouted. “Because he notices when I’m gone!”

Tony scoffed. “He’s completely brainwashed you.” He turned to Loki. “We’re leaving here with her.”

“Shouldn’t that be up to her?” Loki hissed, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side. 

“You’ve corrupted her. She doesn’t know what she wants. I’m her brother. I know what’s best for her.”

“Including when you forced her into an engagement with a man who left her to die, right? That was best for her?”

“That doesn’t concern you.”

Loki rolled his eyes, his grip tightening around my waist. “She’s not going anywhere.”

“Then you leave me with no other choice,” Tony said, his voice almost sounding sad. “Bring her in.”

The door opened again as Clint and Steve began dragging Frigga into the room. Tony’s suit powered up, aiming his hand right at her heart.

“Tony, what the hell is this?” I yelled.

“Make your choice, Y/n. You come back with us now or we kill her.” He looked up at Loki. “Make your choice, Laufeyson. Y/n or your mother.”

*******

Taglist: @honeyrydernot @evelyn-kingsley

#loki x y/n #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #lokixreader #marvel #marvel mcu #avengers #loki of asgard #mafia au #mafia #loki marvel #marvel au #marvel x reader

[henrys-wee-hen]

No-one Fucks With The Lobos - Chapter 22

Brain rot.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48070186/chapters/123458170

I kept quiet while Teddy drove us into Maine territory, near Grand Lake Estates. I kept hold of the gun, finger on the trigger, safety off. One bullet in the barrel, waiting to end Josephine Maine’s life. And Teddy was going to pull the trigger.

We pulled up outside a house, and Teddy cut the engine. It was growing dark. He reached over and took my hand, squeezing it.

“She’ll come home. She’ll notice the car. I’ll get out, and –“

“You’re going to do it right on her doorstep?” I asked, frowning. “I want her dead, Teddy. I don’t want a fucking turf war.” Teddy sat back and sighed.

“Then we need to get her further away from the house.”

“Right.” He thought for a moment.

“I know a place.”

He was nervous, I could tell. He wasn’t thinking so straight. He turned the engine back on and swung us around. The house was, thankfully, in darkness… whether we’d been seen or not, I didn’t know. But as Teddy drove down the side-streets, he pulled up into a deserted alleyway. He pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Making a call.” He dialled a number and put it on speaker.

“Lobo office, Josephine speaking. How can I help?”

“Hey, baby,” Teddy said softly. “Josephine… I was hoping to speak to you. Can I speak to you?” A soft, gentle voice.

“Mr Lobo? Teddy?”

“Yeah… it’s me. I’m… are you able to talk a second?”

“Yes, of course,” Josephine said softly. There was a soft scuffling noise, and then a door closing. “Teddy?”

“I’m really sorry for what happened yesterday.”

“Oh… that… yeah…” I started to feel bad for the girl. “Actually, Teddy… I enjoyed it… I’ve never been taken so roughly like that… I wanted more of it, when I’d gotten over the shock.” She giggled. “I… I wouldn’t mind doing it again, actually. This time, without your mom watching… I could show you what I can really do…” Her tone, husky and sultry.

I stopped fucking feeling bad.

Teddy took my hand and kissed my knuckles, as though he could sense my tension.

“For real?”

“Yes… Teddy, I’ve had a thing for you for years. And I really mean it… I would be amazing for you, Teddy. My mother and father spent thousands on my education… I’ve been trained for society. For you. (Y/N) isn’t good enough for you. Never will be. Just a little ex-cop trying to be big league…”

“Maybe we should get to know each other a little more, then…”

“You really mean it?!”

“Sure. Can you get out of the office soon, or no?”

“I’ve got five minutes left…”

“Come straight to me. I’m parked up near the Fleur de Lis park, over on West End.” Teddy described where we were, and Josephine’s smile was evident.

“I’ll be there, handsome.”

“Can’t fucking wait,” Teddy purred. “I’m gonna fucking take you out… it’s gonna be real special. Oh… and sweetheart? Don’t tell my fucking mom I’m taking you out tonight. Or your family. I wanna fucking enjoy you a bit before the rabble starts…” Another giggle from Josephine. I felt sick. I felt so, so sick. But Teddy’s hand in mine reminded me why I needed him to do this. Why he needed to do this…

“Anything for you, Teddy…”

“That’s my girl.” Teddy squeezed my hand, bringing my ring to his lips as he looked at me in the eyes. “See you soon?”

“I can’t wait…”

Teddy cut the call, and kissed me on the cheek.

“I wonder how many of the Five Families know about me, then,” I said softly. Teddy kept hold of my hand. “And how many of them think you’re a good way to get intel?”

“Oh, all of ‘em think I’m a good way into the fucking family,” Teddy replied, sighing. He linked his fingers with mine, thumbing my ring absent-mindedly. “The Maines are the only ones who bothered to fucking act on it.” He looked across at me. “Do you still want me to do this?”

I thought for a moment. The rational, good side of me said no. But the other side, the awful jealous side, said yes.

“Do you want to do this?” I asked, looking into those beautiful brown eyes.

“I’d crawl on my hands and knees through broken glass if you wanted me to, baby,” Teddy said softly. “Putting a bullet in her skull for you is the least I can fucking do.”

“Will it start a turf war, do you think?”

“It’ll piss a lot of people off, sure,” Teddy smiled. “But my personal bullets aren’t monogrammed. So no-one will know it was me. Might fuck with my mom and let some intel slip that it was the Kennedys. Or the Delarentas…” he smirked. “Light some fucking fires under some asses… and prove to you that you are the only person for me…” He kissed my ring again. “And be worthy of you again.”

“You are worthy of me, Teddy.” But I need that bitch gone… the thought circled my head like a vicious fucking vulture. I bit my lip.

“Can I kiss you?” Teddy asked softly. I nodded, and he pulled me close, kissing me tenderly. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). Truly.”

“I know you are,” I murmured, leaning against him.

We sat for a while, listening to some music as the sun set fully, and the streets turned dark. I could barely contain myself, my leg bouncing as a small car pulled up and parked up. Teddy’s phone lit up. A call. Josephine.

“Hey, Teddy-bear… I’m here. Where are you parked?” I cringed at the use of my own pet name for Teddy.

“I’ll meet you in the park,” Teddy said softly. “Got a little surprise for you.”

“Alright.” Josephine giggled. He cut the call.

“It’s go time, baby.” He kissed me fully. “This is for you. Entirely for you. And also a little bit for me, because I don’t need that fucking hanger-on…” I tried to smile, but I couldn’t. This was heavy. Teddy climbed from the car, and I followed him, closing my door quietly. Gun tucked into his waistband, we made our way over to the Fleur de Lis park. Dressed entirely in black, I was mostly hidden in the shadows. But Teddy, in his gorgeous red suit, stood out a bit more. I hung back, skulking around behind a tree. The park was deserted, as most tended to be in the night time in New Orleans. The city wasn’t known for its safe parks…

The familiar figure of Josephine approached. Teddy leaned against the tree I was stood behind. Josephine skipped over, almost immediately throwing herself at Teddy, kissing him fully. He didn’t retaliate. He just stood there and let it happen.

“Does anyone know we’re meeting tonight?”

“No. I didn’t tell a soul.” She ran her hands along the lapels I ran my hands down. Then, she kissed him again. “Kiss me, Teddy! Please – I’m – I need you so badly!”

“See, Josephine, that’s the fucking problem.” Teddy held her close to him. “You need me… but I don’t need you.” His arm was strong around her. He gazed down at her, smiling. “And you’ve made the wrong fucking call, thinking you’re better than (Y/N). I can’t have that, see… I can’t have people thinking (Y/N) is worthless or useless…” He reached behind him for the gun. “And I can’t allow someone like you to undermine any part of my relationship, or my fucking life choices.” He clicked the safety off the gun, and Josephine paled. Her face fell. I watched, holding my breath.

But then, Teddy pushed Josephine to her knees at the base of the tree trunk, and pulled me out of my hiding place, the gun trained on Josephine’s forehead.

“Teddy, what –“

“C’mere, baby,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around my waist. He kissed me fully, cocking the gun. He gazed into my eyes. “There’s only ever gonna be you, you know that, right?”

“Teddy… p-please… don’t kill me – I’m sorry –“ Josephine whispered. “Please, I –“

“Hush, sweetheart. If I let you live, you’re a problem for me. And I can’t have my mom throwing you at me every five seconds. And I can’t take the risk you’ll have your brothers come for (Y/N), either.” He smirked. “But understand that it will always be (Y/N) for me. Always.” With a final kiss for me, Teddy squeezed the trigger. I yelped, curling into him as Josephine’s body slumped to the side.

Dead.

Teddy

He didn’t want to kill her. He didn’t want to end another life, especially when this one wasn’t really necessary. But (Y/N) needed it. And he needed to prove his love. And in this instance, a huge vase of flowers and fancy shit only a lot of money could buy wouldn’t be enough. (Y/N) needed to trust him again – needed to know he could be trusted. And the only way he could show and prove that everything he said was true was to put a bullet squarely in the head of the chick who’d gone down on him so boringly.

(Y/N) curled into him when he fired the bullet. The gunshot ricocheted around the park, and he knew there was only a small amount of time before the police would show up. An arm still around (Y/N), he tucked the handgun into his suit pocket, and pulled out his phone, shining his torch on the tree.

“I gotta let you go, baby. I need to get the bullet.” (Y/N) let him go, trembling. Teddy pulled out a pocket knife and started digging around in the tree, extracting the bullet. He threw it into the same pocket as the gun, then pulled (Y/N) close again. “You okay?”

“Yeah…”

“We gotta fucking get out of here, darling. Someone might call the fucking cops.”

“I know… We’re just leaving her here?”

“DNA. We can’t risk it.”

“Yeah, I know…” (Y/N), hand pressed to mouth, held back sobs. Teddy felt sombre. But the deed had been done. No more Josephine. No more threat to (Y/N)’s trust, or sanity, or anything else. He’d proven himself. He’d promised, and delivered. He pulled (Y/N) along, back to the Dodge. Once inside, (Y/N) crumbled.

“Hey,” Teddy breathed. He turned on the engine. They didn’t have time to loiter. He pulled away smoothly, barely revving the engine until they were far enough away that they wouldn’t be linked to the murder of Josephine fucking Maine. “Let it out, baby. Let it all out…”

You

I couldn’t help it. The sobbing. The weight of what I’d just fucking made him do. The sheer size of the thing. But Teddy’s soothing worked, and by the time we were home, I felt like I could at least walk without my legs buckling. Teddy held me the entire way up to the apartment, and when he unlocked the door (having turned off that two-factor authentication he’d had installed when I was attacked), I fell inside, and he held me closely, cupping the back of my head to his chest.

“It’s alright,” he said softly. “I got you, baby. I got you.”

“Ugh. I need to wash my tan.” I stepped back and wiped my eyes. It had been the required six hours, more than, that I needed to wait. Teddy burst out laughing.

“I just killed for you, and you’re worried about your fucking tan…”

“I know. It’s stupid.” I looked at him. “Teddy… I’m honestly a little scared.”

“I know you are,” Teddy murmured. “But it’ll be alright. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

“Josephine… going back out into society…” I sighed. “It’s a lot, Teddy.”

“And you’ll have me beside you every single fucking second.” He kissed me softly. “I promise.”

“I believe you.” I kissed him. “And you understand that what’s happened tonight will hit me at the worst possible time…” I ran my hands down his lapels…

And it fucking hit me.

Teddy didn’t quite know what to do, at first. As I sank to my knees, I think he thought he was about to have a real good time. But when I leaned against his legs and cried, he picked me up, carried me to the bathroom, and ran the shower. He got in with me, careful not to scrub any part of my tan that still needed to look natural, keeping my hair dry, too. He was gentle, caring, loving.

My Teddy.

Eventually, he curled up with me in bed, both of us reeling a little bit from the night before. Little did either of us know, it really wouldn’t be as bad as either of us were thinking.

#teddy lobo #teddy lobo x reader #tedward lobo #renfield #dracula

[endlessly-cursed]

Another World, Another Primrose, Chapter Two: To Have Loved and to Have Lost

A/N: September is here and I wanted to welcome it with the second chapter of Primrose’s Legacy! 

Summary: A year after the successful birth of Primrose, their parents are ready to start discussing the future of Winbourne. 

TW: Swearing, miscarriage 

Characters that appear: Duchess Coventry @camillejeaneshphm Duchess of Alderly @gaygryffindorgal Lady Brokenshire @cursebreakerfarrier 

Taglist: @nicos-oc-hell @slytherindisaster @camillejeaneshphm @catohphm @hphmmatthewluther @thatravenpuffwitch

July, 1882

Primrose had turned just one year, and her parents, alongside the peerage, celebrated the little lady’s birthday. She giggled and played with other children as the adults sat on the different lawns made for them and chatted over business and gossip. Victoria sat with a polite smile as she listened to Princess Louise of Alderly chat about her recent soiree with the Prince and Princess of Wales, though she found partying all day with no sense or care rather childish and very immature, though she reckoned that as a princess and duchess, she could afford to do so. She too could send nannies for her Primrose, but felt wrong to be away from her. She even baffled her peers by breastfeeding her baby herself, though now she had a feeding bottle and had grown into an adorable baby girl who could beguile anyone with those rosy baby cheeks. She could spot her dear husband hearing to the latest business of the Duke of Alderly and could read his face very well: he was deciding whether to excuse himself or just hurl himself into the sun to stop hearing such things. She hid her giggled by pretending to sip her champagne and continue listening to Louise.

While chatting with the Duchess Coventry, she spotted Lady Brokenshire rather lonely, absently petting her adorable cat. She then looked at her ton “Ladies, do you mind if we include Lady Brokenshire?”

“I suppose it’d be rather rude to leave the poor woman excluded.” Louise conceded.

“Yes, do bring her in! I’ve been looking for an excuse to ask her something!”

“Lady Brokenshire! I say, Lady Brokenshire!” She called out, commanding both Lady Brokenshire and the cat’s attention “Do join us here, please!”

Her dear Vincent took the hint and signaled Lord Brokenshire to join the men as well. She sat with them and they welcomed her with a glass of champagne with a small cherry on it and delicious scones and pastries “Do be welcome, my lady!” Victoria smiled. She had met the lady at her time at Hogwarts, and she was aware they all talked about the famous heiress of the ancient house Somerset. Evelyn noticed that none knew of her particular education and a subtle signal of her silence was enough agreement “If I remember correctly, you have a daughter of Prim’s age, don’t you?”

Evelyn smiled at the topic of her baby daughter “Oh yes! My Lillian resembles her father greatly and grows bigger by the day! I’m afraid that if I blink again, she’ll be ready for school!”

Louise smiled “Oh, will you send her to the Paulinas? Please say yes! My girl could use a roomie!”

“We are… still debating school, but I will keep your offer in mind, lady…?”

“Duchess Louise of Alderly.” She replied, her haughty nature showing off like a peacock showing off its wings.

Evelyn’s eyes went wide and quickly offered a curtsy “Do forgive me, Your Grace.”

“Oh, don’t worry!” Victoria quickly jumped in “The lady is learning, but she makes a quick study, duchess! She will be familiar with the territory in no time!” She smiled as she beckoned her servant for a strong champagne for the duchess to compensate.

“I hope so, Lady Brokenshire.”

She nodded and gave a thankful glance to Victoria, who smiled at her and whispered “Worry not, for what I saw in class… we will soon laugh at this!”

The Duchess Coventry pursed her lips “Whatever it is you two are whispering about? I do hate being left out.”

“We were wondering where did you got such a lovely silk, Your Grace.” Evelyn quickly responded “I was thinking of getting one for my sister-in-law. She loves fashion.”

The duchess smiled “You could’ve just asked me, dear! I have this tailor in France…” she kept talking about it and Victoria winked at her for her quick learning. Most noblewomen were won over alcohol, flattery and pretty things. The higher you got, at least.

A while later, the topic shifted to matrimony and a rather tipsy Princess Louise said rather loudly “My dear Thomas and I have been discussing potential betrotheds for our only son and we have thought of your Primrose.” Everyone froze for a minute “Wouldn’t they make the most handsome couple when older?”

Victoria tried to contain her excitement and smiled politely “We’d be honored, Your Grace. You know our doors are open to you, and Henry is the most delightful baby. I’m sure no other man would be more deserving of her than him.”

She smiled and looked at her husband, who didn’t look amused. However could he not be? He was a prince, and was part of her royal family. Any girl would be lucky to be part of them! She knew that they’d have an interesting chat later, she could tell it.

After the party, as both changed into nightwear, Victoria finished to brush her hair and looked at her husband “I couldn’t help but see your expression when the Duchess mentioned a potential proposal,” despite her husband sighing heavily and pinching the bridge of his nose, she didn’t budge “and I think it’d be beneficial to our little girl.”

“She doesn’t have enough age to have a saying in this. She can’t even think yet! And you want to set her with a bloody Hanover.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with it.” She held her head high and her husband finally faced her.

“Can’t we wait until she’s at least sound of mind, hm?”

“They would’ve picked some princess already then!”

“Let them! I am not selling my daughter to the bloody royals!”

Victoria got up and went towards him “This is my house, my estate, and my child too! I bore her for nine months, I gave birth to her and kept her alive, so it’s fair that I get a saying in this!”

“She is a fucking child, Victoria! They both are! They do not even know what marriage means! How can we hurl them into it, eh?”

“Don’t you dare raise your voice at me, Vincent! I am more than your wife; I am your viscountess!”

He got closer and whispered “Who benefits from this, hm? Your ambition?”

“Our future son!” He froze, and she took a deep breath “I am with child, and the most gifted seer told me it’d be a boy with golden hair and would bring a golden age to Winbourne.”

“How long, Victoria?”

“Two months. I wanted to be sure.”

He closed his eyes and sighed, pacing around “I understand your motives, but she’s too young. She can barely make a sentence, let alone understand wifely duties, Vic. Please, tell the Alderlies that you’re flattered, but that she deserves to have a childhood.”

“This is how nobility spends their childhoods. Ensuring their dynasties and persevering the lines with auspicious marriages, cunning and deceit. That is our childhood.” She looked at her husband square in the eye, facing off.

“…So be it.” He picked his pillow and left. Victoria shouted behind him

“You think me selfish and cold, but when we’re surrounded by riches and with our problems and lives solved, you’ll thank me, I assure you!”

She huffed, hurling the brush and trying not to cry. He’d not have it. Not this time.

Six months later

One more month, Victoria thought. One month, and she’d have the son and heir she had promised to her father on his deathbed. She had to. What else was a woman to do in this man-led world? Sure, the times were indeed changing and the authorities were being questioned, even the fairer sex’s role was questioned, but Victoria was in too deep into the lifestyle to think about it. Perhaps her perspicacious daughter, who was proving to be witty and with a sense of humor from a young age, could change the pattern. Only time would tell. Who knows, perhaps in a future ladies wouldn’t take their husbands’ names! Though she suspected the Tories wouldn’t allow it. She had always been wary of them.

She was strolling the grounds with Alina, chatting and watching Primrose play with Ms. Barry when she felt a jolting pain on her stomach and gasped for air “Mama hurt?” Asked Primrose.

“Emma,” she breathed “take her out. Now!” Emma nodded and picked the curious girl and took her out of there despite her complaints. Another jolt of pain came towards her, and she gasped for air. The blood on her leg made her realise. She grabbed Alina by the arm “I’m losing my baby. I’m losing my boy.”

“Not if I have a saying on it. You!” She called to the butler “Fetch the doctor now! At once!”

He nodded and ran off as quickly as he could, and Alina took her to a small room and stayed with her, attending her every need. She also dismissed Vincent, saying that his presence would only make worse the ordeal after months arguing “She is my wife, and that is my child, I have a right to—,”

“After everything you’ve put her through while with child you have a right to shut your stupid mouth and obey me! You seem to forget that I am a Viscountess as well.”

“A Dowager—,”

“Who can feed you to the dogs and pluck out your heart if I wish to do so. Now, do Vicky a favour and be with your daughter and leave women’s business to the actual women.”

“But—,”

“Guard! Take him to his daughter, at once.”

The man hesitated “But, madam, protocol says—,”

“Don’t you dare tell me the protocol of my home! Out with you both! If I see another male here, I will personally feed them to the dogs!” She shouted, scaring everyone, her Ukrainian accent showing.

Every male in their presence left, afraid that she might try make her threats true. She huffed and went back to Victoria, whose condition had worsened. The midwife and doctor came in, she was in excruciating pain and certain that the baby wouldn’t survive.

“Madam, what do we do?” The doctor asked. And she knew well what he was asking.

He was asking her who lived and who died. And she knew who’d live and who’d die, “The Viscountess must survive this. Too many Somersets have died already.” He nodded and started to get to it with the midwife. “I need some air,” She knew what came next, she needn’t watch.

She took a deep breath and fidgeted with the ring that her late husband had once given her, a promise to grow old and make Winbourne everyone’s home. It seemed like another life. She wondered if he had lived and the two of them had another son. Perhaps nothing of this sort would’ve happened. Perhaps she’d be the one negotiating with the Alderlies for an engagement and Vincent and Victoria would’ve settled elsewhere.

But God had decided their destiny long ago and there was no coming back. Winbourne needed a male heir to survive, and it was all up to Victoria. She had thought to remarry, but there were no elder males with a solid claim. Only Vic remained, and the male line had been wiped out by war and sickness. Only the women had survived.

It couldn’t be so bad that a woman ran Winbourne by birth-right. The Queen had done an exceptional job, as had Anne I, Mary I and II, Elizabeth I… Why couldn’t the same rule apply to the nobility? If someone could raise a strong leader, that someone was Victoria. And she’d be sure to tell her.

That day was clear that Victoria’s third pregnancy wouldn’t come to term. Bells chimed in mourning for the lost son, and Victoria wept in helplessness and shame, and Vincent tried to have himself sorted.

Little Primrose observed as the tiny coffin was taken away. She couldn’t understand what was happening, she was too young. She was too damn young for this. Who was to tell her that nature had decided she wouldn’t have a brother?

Victoria later told her husband “We can’t lay such responsibility on her. It is too much for her.”

“Do you think a woman can’t be a viscountess?”

“I think that our daughter deserves a low-key and tranquil life, away from vipers who are waiting to end our line just because she’s a woman. She doesn’t deserve this burden. We must have a son, Vincent, or else this life may very well kill her. If someone must die the next time, let it be me.”

“Let us hope then that nobody has to make such a decision.”

He watched thoughtfully the stars, wondering if looking at these lines and dots full of light had any answer to this. He knew his girl was a though nut, but outside was ruthless and unkind to beautiful ladies with such power. She needed someone who wouldn’t get in the way of her claim and were able to protect her. And Henry wasn’t the one she needed to survive.

Even if he lost his family forever, he’d make of his daughter untouchable to others that nobody would doubt her claim or throw out hundreds of years of history. Not if he had a saying about it. He had loved three children. He had lost two. Whoever dared to touch a single hair of his living heir, would have him on their way.

#hphl #hphl fanfiction #harry potter: hogwarts legacy #primrose gray's legacy #pgl book one #another world another primrose #victoria somerset #vincent gray #alina mikelovna #tw: language #tw: miscarriage #alderly family #coventry family #evelyn brokenshire #rex brokenshire #mywriting*

[rayofsunas]

pretending you’re not his s/o. [1]

A/n: happy Thursday!! whew, the week is almost over thank goodness. I hope you’re all doing well and thank you for being patient while I knock out these requests <333 Scaramouche’s is long for obvious reasons (I simp) ALSO thank you for 800 followers, I hit that milestone yesterday ahagdwcsh omg I’m growing so much wtf. thank you all :) <33 

Summary: the boys having to pretend their s/o is their secretary, maid, friend, etc. (someone other than their s/o)

Parings: Childe/Reader, Venti/Reader, Kaeya/Reader, Diluc/Reader, Albedo/Reader, Aether/Reader, Xiao/Reader, Chongyun/Reader, Xingqiu/Reader, Scaramouche/Reader, Razor/Reader, Bennett/Reader, Zhongli (fem and gn mixed)

Warnings: violence tbh (in Scara’s especially chile), swearing, crack, angst?, fluff

Word count: 1.7k

Requested by bestie @mintydump​ 

Refuses (tells people you’re his s/o and compromises the mission)

Childe: for some odd reason, he was sent out by the Tsaritsa to retrieve a man who was impersonating one of the eleven harbingers and you were to go along. she said men were much more willing to follow along, if there was a beautiful woman promising affection, etc. the only problem was, to win over the impersonator, you had to pretend to be Childe’s co-worker. he hated this idea, and the minute he left, he reassured you he would not call you his partner unless it was romantically. so hell yeah, he’ll compromise the mission and will return without the impersonator. he does not care, you’re not his co-worker. he’ll just be like, “sorry, next time send me alone.”

Venti: jean why... ofc you'd be great company duh, but why did you need to be his babysitter on this expedition?!? sure, Venti may look like a child, but this was stupid! he’s loose-lipped anyways, so he’ll accidentally let it slip to whoever that you’re not his babysitter and that you’re his s/o. he’ll be like, “oops.” with the biggest shit-eating grin. he doesn’t care though, you’re not his babysitter grrr. 

Razor: he also accidentally lets it slip you’re his s/o. hunters were after him and his friends, you included (you’re human, he considers you family though, therefore wolf) and he just yells, “don’t touch my mate, GRRR” before ya know, ending them lmao. it never crossed his mind that maybe it wasn’t in his/your best interest to say what you were to him. other hunters could be nearby listening and then target you at a later date. but, tbh he will worry about that another day. as long as you’re safe now, he’ll always be there to protect you. 

Refuses (he doesn’t refuse the mission, but he refuses calling you someone other than his s/o/he won’t say if you’re his s/o or not.) 

Kaeya: he definitely won’t be calling you anything other than his s/o but he also won’t offer this mission to anyone else. he’s more than capable and he can do this without you having to be in danger too. if someone asks who you are, he’ll just cooly respond with, “none of your business.” and move on. he’ll use that whenever someone asks who you are. even if someone gets a little pushy, he won’t use anything to clue them of your relationship.

Xingqiu: he was supposed to borrow steal a book from someone. he needed it for personal purposes lol; it would be great for his collection. and from his understanding, the person who has it wasn’t using it. though you were confused on why he needed to break into somewhere to retrieve it. you just happened to be with him when he broke in, he says it was an accident that you were there, but tbh it’s all part of the thrill and his mischievousness. despite Chongyun warning him that he shouldn’t have brought you, he still did. and when the person who owns the book whips out a sword and then asks why you were brought along if you seemed timid and unreluctant to steal, Xingqiu’s response is, “well she’s my girlfriend! duh.” cue deadpan. legit no hesitation.

Scaramouche: this mission is happening no matter what. the Tsaritsa’s life is on the line; highly trained assassins from all over Teyvat were sent into Snezhnayan territory to kill her. she could protect herself, but Scaramouche was feeling feverish for battle; he was one of the more unhinged and dangerous harbingers, she entrusted this task upon him. he never turned down a mission. plus, it’s your fault you’re even here. why are you here again!? he left you home in Inazuma days ago. also... who the hell was looking after your daughter if not you...?? when you caught up with him once he was well away from Liyue Harbor’s docks (so he couldn’t force you to get back onto the ship, smart) you told him you weren’t some housewife and you missed the thrill of adventure, so you snuck on the ship too. he wasn’t sure how you got on in the first place without alerting The Kanjobugyo (you’ve snuck out before, so he’s told them not to let you leave, though he assumed you used your former title of a Fatui to gain clearance) let’s just say he’s not happy you’re here, but he’s not turning back now, he’s determined to end this. in the end, he kills all the assassins (ofc). on your way back to Liyue Harbor, arguing about why you’re here (you’re losing), another assassin comes out of the shadows; intent on killing the both of you. he’d managed to grab the end of your hair in his fist and was going to slit your throat. Scaramouche will say, “don’t touch my wife, you insolent scum.” he doesn’t have a problem telling those who have a death wish of your intimate relationship, because they’ll die in the end anyway; therefore to him, it’d be like they never knew. 

Zhongli: not many people know you’re his s/o anyways, so if he has something to do, especially dangerous you’re not coming along. he’ll make sure of that. on missions or something, he refuses to call you anything other than his s/o, but if he can’t/wants to keep it private he’ll call you by your name. if you’re facing off against someone, he’ll be like, “y/n, please watch out, I’ll handle this.” he never wants to put you in danger, and tbh even someone threatening who knows your name is a risk, but if they ever found out that you were not only his s/o but the s/o of an Archon? yeah, you’d be on a hit list just like him. 

Accepts (he will do this and won’t ask any questions)

Diluc: sorry y’all, but once this is discussed in full and you agree, he’s going to accept it. this mission is important. it’s not often people travel into Inazuma, so he was very lucky his wine is sold there and that he has a popular, well-known name. shipments of his wine weren’t making it into the borders and he was to find the culprit behind it; someone was stealing obviously. you were to go along with a few other soldiers and when jean told him it would be safer to call you his maid and not his fiancé, he agreed. you wouldn’t be a target that way. if anyone wonders why he took his maid, he’ll just say, “she’s to travel everywhere with me.” don’t worry, after the missions over he’ll reassure you he doesn’t think of you as his maid, definitely not. he’ll apologize profusely. “please don’t think of yourself that way, you’re not my maid, I adore you very much, sweetheart.”

Xiao: he already doesn’t go around calling you his wife or telling just anyone, only the Archons know and the fallen Yaksha once knew (you’re one of the female Yaksha) so being talked into this wasn’t a big deal at all. before, he didn’t run around Liyue telling people about your relationship because you both enjoyed the privacy. but now, having to call you his fellow Yaksha who’s been working alongside him for centuries, kinda feels like he’s ignoring or not acknowledging you. sure, you do hold the same titles (Yaksha) and yes you’ve known eachother for centuries, but really, you’ve been together for centuries. if you’re not bothered, then he doesn’t mind. but if you are? he’s very apologetic and will repay you in some way. “you’re not a weakling, you have no reason to worry.” he needs to do this task, he’ll never turn away from the people and if you have to be known as your Yaksha title to him and others, so be it. 

Chongyun: it’s not that he doesn’t want to call you his s/o. it’s just he’s a quiet guy and never has told anyone about your relationship; only Xingqiu knows. so he has no problem introducing you as his friend to absolute strangers, especially if you’re okay with it. if you’re not and tell him, he’ll be sure to never call you a friend again. he’s really looking out for your safety, people can be two-faced as he’s learned from Xingqiu’s fantasy books. he wants to protect and keep you safe, and if you need to be addressed as his friends a few times then that’s how it’s going to go. 

Accepts (he’ll accept but he has so many questions on why and hates it)

Albedo: he will accept if there’s a logical reason. for example, if you absolutely need to come because you’re his assistant or something and can offer your expertise, he will accept. but if you have no need? you’re not coming, please stay home. the whole time, he hates this. yes, you’re his assistant irl, but you’re his s/o, not just an assistant. it makes him sick that he has to call you that tbh, even if it’s your occupation. but it’s necessary for a lot of reasons you two have already discussed. after the mission is complete, he’s never going to stop apologizing. “love, please do not take what I said to heart, you’re not just an assistant.”

Aether: he has to be talked into this a lot. once kaeya and jean tell him the seriousness and importance of seeing his sister again, especially after all they’ve discovered about her, he’ll agree. no matter how much he hates calling you his travel partner, he has to. his sister has turned to the dark side for whatever reason and this meeting already is risky enough. if she finds out you’re his girlfriend, who knows how she’ll react; she’s very unpredictable now, a little unhinged even. but it does hurt to have to call you that, let’s be real. he never wants to say or hear that ever again.

Bennett: he knows he’s quite unfortunate, so you going with him on expeditions is just stupid and you could face something awful due to his bad luck. you go either way though, what a good s/o :) he almost slips a few times, especially facing off against a few lowlife Fatui. but then you remind him of the dangers of doing that and you’re immediately just a friend/member of Benny's Adventure Team. pls, he hates this so much, like why can’t he call you what you are?!? he’s constantly like, “well why can’t I just say you’re my s/o already? they won’t harm you as long as I’m here!” ?!?!?!? HE JUST DID?!?!?!?!

2.25.21, rayofsunas 

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #childe #childe x reader #venti #venti x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya #diluc #diluc x reader #albedo #albedo x reader #aether #aether x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #chongyun #chongyun x reader #xingqiu #xingqiu x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #razor #razor x reader #bennett #bennett x reader #zhongli

[abluescarfonwaston]

“I’m looking for-”

The guard cut him off. Pointing into the grounds. “He’s usually in the gardens this time of day. Take a left at the circle. It’s on the right.”

He blinked at the guard. Took a hesitant step forward. 

No one stopped him.

Why did Oxenfurt even have guards if they just let strange men in? He definitely qualified as strange. He was a fucking witcher after all.

No wonder Jaskier was so strange if this was where he was educated.

The gardens were beautiful. They smelled wonderful.

He wandered through it. There was little point trying to sniff Jaskier out. He’d undoubtedly switched perfumes since last they’d met.

His ears ticked up. Jaskier was humming.

He turned down the path. Stopped. Looked around.

The only person was kneeling in the dirt wearing an absurdly large brimmed hat. Gardening.

He looked around again. 

Nope. The humming was definitely coming from the person gardening.

He opened his mouth to call out-

Someone squeeked behind him. He turned.

A woman - girl really - with her hair up in another comically large hat and a trowel covering her mouth was staring at him.

That at least was normal.

She waved him over. Eyes flicking between him and the man that could not be Jaskier. She motioned for him to be silent leading him behind the elderberry bushes.

“Sorry Master Witcher, do you need something? I can get it for you- just - just don’t bother Professor Pancratz please? We only just started on the Skellige plants an hour ago and he gets so distracted-”

“I understand.” He nodded seriously at her. She deflated with a sigh of relief. “I’m looking for Jaskier? The bard?” It seemed silly to add that. Everyone knew Jaskier these days but it might speed the conversation along.

She squinted at him. “Yes. I- I did gather that. Did you need something for a potion? He says were not allowed to charge Witchers for potion ingredients because no one pays witchers fairly for their services but it does cost money to maintain the gardens so if you wouldn’t take too much then-”

“I don’t need ingredients.” Although now that he looked he could see that the majority of the plants were ones used in potions. Witcher and human alike. He reached out, touching the leaf of one. “Myrtle pepper? This doesn’t grow in Oxenfurt.” It didn’t grow in the northern realms even.

“Oh yes! He brought that one back a few years ago. Apparently the whole department bet that it would die but he got it to grow. He’s a genius.” 

“Hm.” He stood up. “Jaskier?” He questioned. Trying to steer her back to the point.

“I’ll let him know you stopped by?” 

He frowned. He didn’t want to stand here all day waiting. “Tell him I’m at the Barrel and Brug.”

She mock saluted. “Will do!” 

When Jaskier entered hours later he smelled of flowers and soil.

“Thought you didn’t like flora.”

“Ugh.” He collapsed next to him at the bar. Stealing his drink. “You do one professor a favor and next thing you know you’re the leading thinker in plant science! I’m a bard! What is wrong with this world!”

“Hm.” He smirked amusedly taking his drink back.

“Jakob asked me to bring him a few seeds back for him because he was too old to get them and then bam! Next thing I know everyone's asking me the ideal soil conditions to maximize the Beggertick blossoms! I am a poet Geralt! This is absurd!”

“Given you’ve mistaken Vetch for Lupins I have to agree.”

He snorted. Resting his head against the sticky bar top. “I refuse to learn any of their names. If I don’t keep misnaming them they’ll make me publish a paper. An Academic paper mind you. No verse allowed. They’re Horrendous to read and worse to write. I refuse. I won’t do it. I won’t!”

The barkeep dropped off another drink that he’d motioned for. He slid it to Jaskier consolingly. 

“Oh no. You might write something useful for once.”

His head snapped up. “How dare you! My music is incredibly useful!”

“At getting folks drunk.”

Jaskier shoved him hard. He didn’t move.

He let Jaskier sputter and curse at him for a bit longer before interrupting him.

“Got a contract for a Griffin.”

He closed him mouth. The tirade abandoned. “In Oxenfurt?”

He nodded. Near enough.

He sipped the beer. Propping himself up on the table. Swirled it. “How long do you think that’ll take?” 

He cocked his head at the hesitation in his voice. “Few days maybe.”

“Oh.” He sighed. Relieved. “Then we can head south?”

“What, worried we’d leave tomorrow?” Jaskier grumbled noncommittally into his drink. He blinked. “You are.” Surprised.

“I just need a few days to make sure the plants settle in alright, that’s all!”

“The ones from Skellige?”

He nodded sheepishly.

“Your assistant.” He started. “The plants are.” He tried instead. He fought with the idea and words in his mouth. “You don’t charge Witchers?” He finally settled on.

Jaskier’s lips drew into a thin line. “No. Told them not to.”

“Bad business.”

“School’s not a business. And its not like you use that much anyway.”

“Treading on Nenneke’s territory there.” Oxenfurt’s garden didn’t compare to Nenneke’s. Not with her greenhouse full of plants long extinct. But it was impressive.

“Ugh don’t tell Nenneke about this- Swear it to me Geralt. If she decides I’m decent company then next time you end up there we’ll both be trapped! She’ll never let us leave Geralt!”

“She would never count you as decent company Jaskier.” He assured.

He smiled ruefully. Toasted to that and drained his tankard. 

“Why those plants?”

“Hm?” He questioned, trying to catch the bartenders attention.

“Why’d you choose those plants?”

The garden full of Witcher plants. From all across the continent. Elderberry, Beggertick, myrtle pepper. The fountain full of blood moss.

“Why not roses?” Jaskier loved roses. He’d once proposed he’d grow them if the world had no more need of poetry and song. Which it never would. Not that Jaskier could give it up even if it did.

Jaskier’s eyes stayed trained on the shelf of alcohol behind the bar.

“They’re useful aren’t they? More useful than roses.” The bard playing tonight started a jig. His attention shifted to the folks gathering on the floor to dance. “I’ll grow roses when you retire.”

“You mean when you retire?” He called out after Jaskier as he leapt into the procession of dancers. No answer coming beyond the stomping of feet and laughter.

Witchers don’t retire. You know that Jaskier.

Roses symbolize love. Jaskier educated him, stealing a few from a garden for his then paramour. Pure love in its many forms. He’d said, smacking him with a blossom.

No. He thought watching Jaskier flit and spin through the song. They don’t.

Love was a garden of myrtle peppers, elderberries and bloodmoss.

#Geraskier #Geralt x Jaskier #Jaskier stumbles into becoming a botany major #geralt #jaskier #idk man there's just something so soft about Jaskier taking up gardening to me #and the guard didn't turn Geralt away cause at this point they expect Witchers to come and take plants for their potions #JASKIER HELPING WITCHERS IN MORE WAYS #don't think about them growing old and retiring to corvo blanco and Jaskier finally gets to start growing roses #don't think about the garden of witcher plants he still keeps in a seculded section of the vineyard for Ciri and Lambert and Eskel #and all the other witchers he's quietly befriended over the years #don't think about all the students he's taught to love and respect witchers #Or the healers he's provided rare plants to for medicine going -oh you're Jaskier's friend #writing

[wkemeup]

Sunrise (4)

summary: After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU) pairings: bucky x reader chapter word count: 5.2k warnings: symptoms of depression, PTSD, anxiety, some really sweet moments to balance it out, more book recs 🧡 series masterlist / series playlist

“You’re staring at the doors again, sweetie.”

Chin resting on your hands, arms folded out on the countertop of the library’s front desk, you tore your eyes away from the entrance to find Mrs. Jefferson peering over at you from over the bridge of her glasses. She smirked as she returned to her book, knowing she’d caught you in the act.  

“Have patience,” she said simply.

“Book club is tomorrow and—” you sighed, a heaviness returning to your body as you slumped back against the counter, stare drifting back to the doors at the entrance. The sun was beaming outside, reflecting in beautiful rays as it illuminated the walkway and touched over old oak and the colorful bindings of novels. 

You frowned. “I really thought he was going to come.”

“This James Barnes... he’s a soldier, yes? Like my boy?”  

You nodded, disappointment burning like a lump in your throat, though you swallowed it back. “A Sergeant. Sam said he came home a little under a year ago.”  

“Then he’ll come,” Mrs. Jefferson pressed confidently, sliding her glasses up her nose, the chain of purple beads clicking against the gem stones on her sweater. “Boys like that don’t break their word. Even if he is a bit of a hesitant one.”

You knew what she meant by that. Hesitant.  

No one liked to talk about the dangers of a soldier post-war. It was uncomfortable; the idea that they could still be fighting a battle long beyond the absence of a weapon in their hands and the threat of present danger. Heroes weren’t supposed to have chinks in their armor. They weren’t supposed to crumble and break under the weight of what happened beyond borders and the guilt they carried.  

They were supposed to be strong; a symbol of a great country and a willing tribute to place upon a pedestal. It was unacceptable to be a burden, unacceptable to do anything other than seamlessly integrate back into a society that they never really knew to begin with.  

It was all a farce; a rigged game set to line the pockets of the rich and exploit everyone else in its path – sent off to fight for a cause no one really understood or believed in. It left behind good men and women to the rubble; Bucky Barnes among them.  

Sam hadn’t told you much about Bucky before you met him, but you knew enough to tell that it was a struggle to get him to leave the apartment. He was isolated and quiet and hardly recognizable from the man you’d seen in photos. Only, it wasn’t the lack of his left arm that drew your attention when you first saw him, but the lingering sadness in his eyes.  

Sam had a picture hanging in the office that often pulled you in. Bucky stood on his left side, smiling so wide it left lines on his face. He was bright, light as a feather, only weighed down by Steve’s arm slung around his shoulders. You wondered if the man in the photo would have flirted shamelessly with you, if he’d have corny pickup lines or offer to take you dancing. He looked like the sort of man who had girls chasing his tail, a line of heartbreak in his wake. He was beautiful.  

It was strange to see him like that, comparing him to the man he was today. Now, it was like a cloud lingered over his head, draining the color from his skin and chipping away at his soul until it dimmed and crumbled and faded away.  

But you’d seen glimpses of the man in the photo. He was still beautiful; a little hurt and dragging his feet, but beautiful. His smile wasn’t quite as wide and the cloud was still present, but there was a peak of sunshine peering through. A single ray puncturing over stormy skies, but it was something. He’d laughed and teased and it was more than Sam had known him to do in months. You were determined to see the sun touch his skin again. If only he’d let you guide him there.  

“I’m going to go restock on the second level,” you conceded, pushing yourself up from the counter and sauntering over to the cart lined heavy with books.  

“Alright sweetie. I’ll be sure to page you when your Sergeant shows up.”

You felt a heat burning in your face at the very idea of ‘your Sergeant’. Mrs. Jefferson chuckled to herself, eyes still down on her book. She waved you off, not giving you a chance to object, even if you could string together a coherent sentence.  

***

Bucky couldn’t get out of bed.  

He’d been in this predicament hundreds of times before; staring up at the ceiling, wasting the days away as the curtains blocked the light and shielded him from the reminder of another sun daring to rise beyond his window. His energy would be drained and his willingness to so much as brush his teeth was obsolete. He’d known what it felt like to not be able to get out of bed.  

This was different.  

He had somewhere to be. He actually wanted to get up. He really fucking wanted to.

But the pain in his arm had flared to one of the worst episodes he’d had in months and it rendered him useless; the arm that was both there and not there. He could feel his left hand curl to a fist, could feel the itch on his palm, but when he tried to scratch it, he was only met with thin air, his right hand sinking to the mattress in search of the sensation that didn’t exist.  

It was infuriating.  

The nerve endings in his shoulder were going haywire. It felt like his arm was being ripped from his body and it took nearly all the energy he had not to let it consume him. He’d even gone as far to bite off a piece of his cheek in an effort to suppress the lump in his throat.  

Sam would have frowned at that, spewed him some bullshit about how crying can be therapeutic and Steve would nod his head annoyingly in agreement, but Bucky was tougher than that. He had to be tougher than that. If he allowed himself to unlatch that gate, it would consume him whole. He’d drown.  

Hinges squeaked at the front entrance as the door swung open and a pair of heavy footsteps came rushing into the apartment.  

“I’m coming, buddy! Hold on!” Sam called, the plastic swish of the grocery bag handing off his arms dropping to the floor. Bucky tried to concentrate on the sound of running water, the bottle of pills shaking in the small orange bottle, and not on the pain threatening to tear him in half.  

The door to his bedroom flung open and Sam rushed in with a glass of water and his fist closed around two red capsules. He paused in the frame, a frown pushing down at his mouth, and Bucky could only imagine what he looked like; disheveled, sweating, laying in day old clothes and muddled sheets. His right hand was shaking.  

“Alright, help me out, Barnes,” Sam said, setting the glass down on the bedside table. He placed a steady hand on Bucky’s back to help push himself upright. Bucky swung his legs off the side of the bed, finding his balance before Sam placed the pills in his hand.  

Bucky threw them back into his mouth, holding his hand out for the glass of water that would come next. It landed in his grip and he gulped down the medication. There was no instant relief with pain like this, but the knowledge it would soon wear off to something manageable was enough.  

“Thanks,” he mumbled out, voice tense as he struggled to find it.  

“Insurance companies are assholes,” Sam scoffed, shaking his head, though he patted Bucky on the knee. “Cutting off coverage for a fucking vet with no warning like that? Can’t believe you’ve been without this stuff for almost a week. It’s messed up.”  

Bucky had come to expect it. He knew something had to go wrong eventually with how things were starting to turn around. He’d actually been looking forward to seeing you at the library and almost went that next day if it wasn’t for the sudden attack on his own body. He'd tried to deal with it on his own, thinking he might sleep it off, but then it became unbearable. Insurance wouldn’t budge and he didn’t have the energy to argue on the phone with them all day. Thankfully, Sam did.  

Except now it was a day before the next book club meeting and Bucky didn’t know how he was supposed to face you. Part of him wondered if you'd be disappointed, if maybe you’d steal a glance over the doors and hope that it was him walking through, only to be let down as each day passed by. The other half wondered if you’d care at all.  

But he’d seen the way you’d smiled at him, how you’d lit up at the idea of him stopping by.  

You’d care.  

He wasn’t sure if that hurt worse, seeing as he never showed up.  

“You could still go.”

Bucky sighed at Sam’s suggestion. He wasn’t teasing him, wasn’t wearing that shit-eating grin. He was being serious. It was the kind of look that reminded Bucky that under it all, Sam was one of his closest friends, one of the few that stuck around when everything went to shit.

“She’ll want to see you,” Sam continued, nudging Bucky’s side with a soft smile, but Bucky shook his head, unconvinced.

“What am I supposed to say to her, Sam?” Bucky groaned, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “’Sorry I stood you up, but I felt like my hand was being sawed off on an arm I don’t even fucking have?’”

“Why not?” Sam shrugged, earning a glare in response he let roll off his shoulders with ease. “She’d understand, Buck. She knows what comes with the territory here. She’s a lot more familiar with this stuff than you think.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, a pang of jealousy burning hot in his chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Maybe you should ask her why she got involved with the VA in the first place.”

Bucky pressed his lips to a thin line, a silence coming over them. That was an immensely personal question; one akin to someone asking him how he’d lost his arm. He wasn’t sure that was an answer you’d be willing to share.  

Sam exhaled a heavy breath, patting Bucky three times on the knee before he stood up. “Let the meds kick in, but promise you’ll try to go, alright?”

Bucky stared up at Sam for a moment before he conceded with a short nod. The pain in his shoulder was starting to lessen, at least. It didn’t feel like his arm was being torn from his body or a knife was plunging into a part of him that didn’t exist anymore. It would likely get back to a place he could deal with within the hour.

“I promise,” Bucky said. “I’ll go.”

***

A brush of warm air filtered in through the vents as Bucky stepped inside the library. It was bigger than he remembered with large stain glass windows on the outer walls, filtering in a colorful sunlight onto the aisles upon aisles of books. At the center, just ahead of the entrance, was a reception desk. Bucky exhaled a tense breath in an attempt to rid himself from the nerves rattling in his veins and made his way to the woman sitting behind the counter.  

She was reading quietly in her seat, a pair of glasses on a beaded chain perched at the very tip of her nose. She didn’t look up in his direction until he stood at the edge of the desk, and only then, she caught glance of him over the top of her glasses before a smile rose on her lips.  

“Can I help you, young man?”  

Bucky cleared his throat. “I’m supposed to meet someone. She, uh, works here. Y/n.”

The woman nodded. She wore the kind of smile on her face Bucky was familiar with. He’d seen it in Sam about a dozen times in the last week; the kind of smile that said ‘I was right.’

“You must be Sergeant Barnes,” she said as she picked up the radio from the desk.  

Bucky nodded quickly, glancing over his shoulder. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he felt jittery. He tried not to let the fact that you’d clearly talked to this woman about him throw him completely off his game. If he even had game to begin with…  

“Yes, ma’am,” Bucky replied with an even tone. She smirked.  

“Y/n,” she called into the radio, “you have a guest at the front desk.”

The woman held up a finger to him though it trembled with age, signaling for him to wait a moment. Bucky nodded, tucking his hand into his pocket as he silently made his way over to the series of chairs lined along the wall.  

He gripped his fist tight inside his pocket, trying to ignore the pulsing in his shoulder. It had lessened considerably since Sam brought him his meds, but it hadn’t gone away completely. Showering had taken longer than usual and it took him nearly four minutes just to pull a shirt over his head. His army jacket hung over his shoulders, wrapped in a protective layer, loose sleeve at his side. 

“If you’re pulling my chain, Mrs. Jefferson…”  

Bucky perked up at the sound of your voice. You were crossing the main entrance from the staircase, half jogging to the counter where the woman, Mrs. Jefferson, was grinning to herself from behind her book.  

You draped over the counter, toes barely keeping hold on the tile floors as you attempted to reach for her book, but she snatched it from your grasp just in time. You huffed, sinking back down the floor.  

“It’s not funny!” you whined and Bucky almost felt a little guilty for not making his presence known yet, but you were just so cute the way you slumped your shoulders and glanced back at the entrance.  

Mrs. Jefferson pointed over to where Bucky had slowly begun to make his way towards you, but you folded your arms over your chest. Bucky cleared his throat when he stood a few paces off your shoulder, but you didn’t seem to hear him.  

Mrs. Jefferson caught Bucky’s eye before she turned her attention back to you. “Sweetie, he’s—”

“He’s not coming, okay?” you groaned and Bucky felt a stone drop into his stomach. “I—I thought he would but… I was wrong.”

Bucky parted his lips to speak but suddenly his throat was dry. Mrs. Jefferson’s smile started to fade. Clearly, Bucky wasn’t the only one who heard the disappointment in your voice, the sliver of heartbreak, too. He tried to speak, to call your name, to say something, but he was marbled stone.  

“I’m going back to work.”

There wasn’t time to pull his words together before you slammed head first into Bucky’s chest. He stumbled back a few paces, surprised, and you gasped, hands flying to your mouth.  

“Oh God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t—” You stilled, taking in who was standing in front of you. “Bucky?”

He pressed out a smile, though his ears were burning red. “Sorry I’m late.”

“No! N-no, you’re totally fine! I didn’t—I didn’t think you were—” You blinked a few times before your eyes darted back at Mrs. Jefferson who only smirked from behind her book, adjusting the glasses on the tip of her nose. You turned back to Bucky, brushing out the hem of your skirt and wrapping the thick layer of a lavender colored cardigan tightly around your waist, almost like a blanket.  

You exhaled a nervous breath, a nervous smile lifting into your cheeks. “I’m happy you came.”

“It would have been sooner, I swear,” Bucky replied quickly, watching helplessly as your smile brightened into a laugh. “But, um, my uh—”  

He chewed on the edge of his lip. Was he really going to tell you what kept him held up in his room for days on end? Would it bitter the sweet way you looked at him to know that he was a mess under a poorly constructed surface, tied together with string and scotch tape? But you were looking at him so fondly, he wondered if there was anything he could say that could take that away.

“My arm,” he admitted, waiting for a flash of disgust on your face that never came. You softened a bit, but your eyes never left his. He cleared his throat. “It, um… It was just acting up. I ran out of meds and the pain it—it got bad. The kinda pain that sorta makes me wish I had the arm just so I could saw it off myself.”

Shit. He hadn’t mean to say that much but there was just something about the way you looked at him that made him feel like he couldn’t say a damn wrong thing. You pursed your lips, nodding in as much understanding as you could offer. You gestured to the staircase and Bucky followed you without question.  

“I would have been here last week,” Bucky finished because he needed you to know. He couldn’t stand the idea of you being upset, of that sliver of disappointment in your voice when you’d accepted he wasn’t going to show. He needed you to know he’d tried.  

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” you said simply, though he could tell you appreciated it nonetheless. You offered him a smile, one that washed away any feelings of doubt that crept up to the surface. The pain in his shoulder was long forgotten when you looked at him like that.  

“I just wanted you to know.”

I just wanted you to know I’m trying.

He had something to look forward to now, a reason to get out of his bed and open the curtains and look at the fucking sun for once. He had reason to shower and go outside and shove away all the thoughts of self-doubt and paranoia because there was something incredible waiting for him beyond the door.  

I just wanted you to know you’re the reason I’m trying.

“Come on,” you grinned, leading him to the staircase. “I have a few books in mind you might like.”  

Your hand extended in his direction, but you caught yourself when you realized what you were doing. It was seamless enough that you easily played it off as you tugged your sweater tight around your body, but he noticed. It was an intimate gesture, a closeness he hadn’t known in years.  

He hadn’t remembered what it felt like to crave something like that.

***

It didn’t take long for Bucky to settle on The Martian by Andy Weir. It was the first book you pulled from the shelves, one amongst a series of alternatives you had ready in the event this one didn’t appeal to him. All it took was a single glance over the back cover, a slight incline in his brow, and he was sold.

“I trust you,” was all Bucky had said; so simply, as if it didn’t take the breath straight from your chest.   

Bucky didn’t have a library card you realized as you brought him back to the front desk. He’d sheepishly asked to check it out on your account, but you were determined to see more of him and you hoped that by getting him his own card, he might be more inclined to come back. Not that you explained it that way per say, but he didn’t object at least.

It had taken a lot less time than either of you anticipated and you found yourself following him to the exit, both of you dragging your feet.

“So, um…” he started, a nervous chuckle in his voice. “That was easy.”

“Yeah,” you scratched at the back of your neck, glancing to the clock hanging high on the eastern wall. “I hope you like it after all this trust you’re putting in my judgement.”

“I’m sure I will.”

A short silence swept over. Neither of you moving to leave. A couple swerved around you in an effort to get to the doors. The silence wasn’t awkward, but there was a nervous energy in it, like you were both waiting for the other to make the first move. Only, you both did it at once.  

“Would you want to—”

“I’m off at four—”

You bit down on your lips, suppressing a laugh. You gestured for him to go first. His looked so sweet with the pink in his cheeks. A man who had been once rendered as a weapon and he wore a blush in his cheeks. Your stomach held butterflies in its cage.  

“There’s a coffeeshop nearby,” he continued nervously. “I was thinking I could replace that coffee of yours I spilled last week…”

Your cheeks were starting to ache from how wide you were smiling. “Give me five minutes? I just need to wrap things up with Mrs. Jefferson and then I’m yours.”

Bucky’s eyes widened for a second, a flash of something unreadable on his face. He shook it off quickly and nodded, telling you he’d wait by the chairs along the wall until you were ready. It wasn’t until you were halfway to the desk that you’d realized what you’d said.  

I’m yours.

A harmless saying; one people used every day in passing. Still, you felt that same surge of energy at the thought. From the twists in your stomach and the stammer in your heart, you knew that if he’d asked, it would be true.  

***

Bucky watched as you scurried back to the main desk, a few quick glances back over your shoulder in his direction like you were making sure he was still there. You were smiling so wide, he wondered if it ached in your cheeks. He’d never known anyone to smile as much as you did, like you had this limitless supply of joy eager to be tapped into. He couldn’t help but feel a twist in his stomach, knowing he had been able to syphon some of that joy and bring it to the surface. It was him you were smiling at. It felt like a dream.

He glanced down at the book nestled into the sleeve of his bag; a stunning ombre in shades of orange to red to black, a lone astronaut in the center – like he was floating adrift. You’d told him it was a story of survival, of the intricacies of humanity and human connection. It was funny at times and filled with science beyond your pay grade, but it was mesmerizing.  

There was an unspoken hope he could read in your eyes that he might connect to the main character, Mark Watney in his search for connection, in his desperate hope to free himself from the isolation, in his resilience. You’d said Mark was an exceptional character, one with courage and determination to be admired.  

Bucky wasn’t sure he could stand up to the likes of Mark Watney, but he would certainly try.  

The glimmer in your eye as you spoke about the book, almost as if it were an old friend, was enough to convince him. For the first time in years, he felt the urge to read when he got home, just so he could see the look on your face in book club when you realized he’d already started it. He wanted to make you proud, wanted to see more of your smile. It was his new drive.  

A few minutes later, you came jogging back up to him. Your purse hung over your shoulders, a few new books of your own tucked under your arm. You’d done more than finish your shift at the desk though, he realized, because his eyes flickered to a reflective shine on your lips, one that hadn’t been there before. You’d put on lip gloss.

His heart flipped.  

“Ready?” you asked, gesturing to the doors. All bright eyes and sunshine as you looked at him.  

“There’s a café called Luciana’s not too far from here. I’ve heard good things about it. Might be quiet,” Bucky offered and a flash of something unreadable crossed your features. “Do you know it?”

“I go there every Sunday before book club! It’s my favorite,” you replied, nearly skipping in your steps. “Replacing my coffee and getting it right down to the same shop? I’m impressed, Bucky.”

He chuckled, hanging his head as he followed you down the descending staircase and into the heavy flow of pedestrian traffic. He’d forgotten how busy the sidewalks could get at rush hour and the smile quickly drained from his face, though he wouldn’t let you see.  

Bucky tried to focus on you as the strangers circled in around him, how you were laughing at the coincidence of it all, starting on a tangent of your favorite donuts at the shop. Your voice was like a beacon and he did his best use it as a guide.  

But he could feel the quicken pace of his heart inside his chest, how it thumped through his ribs and pulsed into his head the closer strangers got to him. He swerved out of the way of a tourist who was too busy looking down at his phone to notice Bucky in his path. He kept his head down, hand clenched tightly in his jacket pocket, eyes staring at the concrete.  

Teenagers were whispering behind him, snickering under their breath, and Bucky could hear the harsh ‘shhh’ of a father at wit’s end. His lungs felt tight, certain that the boys were mocking the loose sleeve hanging down by his side. He could have taken it if here were on his own. His ears would flush red and a wash of shame and embarrassment would flood his senses, but he could have taken it.  

Not with you by his side. Not when you could be privy to the harsh stares and the cruel voices, the validation to a fear he’d known to be true long before he met you – that he was a broken mess of who he used to be and he would never find that sense of normalcy again. He was kidding himself into thinking that you could ever want someone like—

“Bucky?”

When he looked up at you, your smile had fallen away, replaced with concern. It must not have been the first time you called his name. He didn’t know what to say. He felt small, like a child, embarrassed that even on a good day the influx of people still rendered him to a state of panic.  

“Come on,” you said quietly, glancing around to an alley off your shoulder. “Let’s take the scenic route.”  

He followed gratefully, staring at your shoulder blades as you led him away from the busy hustle of the crowd and along empty side streets and residential neighborhoods. It would take longer this way, but you didn’t seem to mind. You were too busy admiring the architecture of the brownstones and the beautiful array of plants and flowers hanging along the windows. In the open space, you skipped a few paces ahead, arms out wide and twirled around, simply because you could. You laughed and it echoed up along the buildings.  

Bucky could have handed you his heart right then. He could have pulled it straight from his chest and set it into your palms. He wondered if you would handle it with the tender sort of care he hoped you would. His heart was fraying and damaged, after all. It required a gentle touch.  

You fell back in line with him easily and you checked to make sure the next block wasn’t too busy before you led him down another side street. He tried to ignore the voices telling him he was a burden, that his baggage was dragging heavy at your feet, but it crept to the surface no matter how many times you smiled at him.  

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled out, willing his voice to be stronger than it felt. “I don’t know why this is such an issue for me. I was fine on the way over.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Bucky,” you said gently, slowing your pace until you came to a stop.  

Bucky dragged his feet, stopping along a bush of pink hydrangeas planted outside a stunning brick townhome. From the corner of his eye, he watched as your hand reached out to him instinctively, almost in slow motion, and you only paused as you realized what you were doing and pulled back. You cleared your throat.

“I’m not ever someone you have to apologize to about this stuff, okay?” you continued with a kind of sincerity in your voice, Bucky didn’t have a choice but to believe you. The way you looked at him nearly pulled him to pieces. “It comes and goes. Waxes and wanes. There’s no fault. No blame. Just tell me if something’s wrong, so I can help. That’s all I ask.”

Were you speaking from experience? Did you know someone who had been as shattered as he was? Was it the reason Sam wanted him to ask about why you were involved with the VA to begin with?  

It was quiet on the side street; the only sound the distant footsteps from traffic up ahead and the low rumble of car engines in the distance. A bird chirped from a low handing branch above.  

You shoved your hands into your pockets in an effort to keep yourself from reaching for his. He was surprised at the twist in his stomach when he wished you would have tried just one more time. Maybe he could have had some courage to take it.  

“Okay,” Bucky agreed, feeling a weight lift from his chest. When you smiled again it was small— a little heavy— but it touched your eyes. There was a relief in it, maybe an appreciation, too. It swept away some of the anxiety from his veins.  

“Okay.” Your smile widened as you continued to walk down the sidewalk. Bucky found himself feeling a little lighter as he followed behind.  

When the two of you approached the main street again along the block Luciana’s was tucked away in, Bucky didn’t feel as though he was suffocating anymore. He could sense his reflexes picking up, a subtle increase in his heart rate, but he walked a little closer to you, your hip bumping against his every so often and he found that it grounded him. It kept him firm on the surface when he felt like he was floating up into a distant unknown. He wondered if you knew the extent to which you affected him.  

Luciana’s was quiet inside as Bucky jutted out ahead of you to reach for the door. A soft strum of an acoustic guitar and a Spanish speaking singer’s intricate melody hummed over the speakers. He felt a solid breath of air fill his lungs, tasting of coffee beans and fresh pastries.  

“Welcome to—” a voice called from behind the counter before she paused, eyes falling on you. “Y/n!”  

A woman ran out from behind the counter, dressed in a stained apron and a long, bright pink dress, and held her arms out to you. You laughed as she enveloped you to her chest.  

“My darling! It is not Sunday, you know. You’re getting your days mixed up!” she exclaimed, wagging her finger at you. She didn’t even give you time to explain before she turned to Bucky, who suddenly felt a burn of heat on his face. “Ah! You finally brought me one of your boys!”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, turning to you quickly. His stomach dropped.  

“She means at the VA,” you explained, a little embarrassed at her implication as you shuffled your feet, eyes darting at the floor. Bucky raised an eyebrow in realization, eyes flickering back to the woman – who he assumed to be Luciana herself – as she scurried back around the counter. He noticed then that she was wearing slippers on her feet.  

“Come, come!” She called eagerly, waiting with a tapping toe at the register.  

You and Bucky exchanged a glance, a breath of a laugh escaping before you stepped up to the counter. You didn’t hesitate in your order, though you took some extra time in looking over the pastries and donuts after Bucky told you to pick something out for him. You put so much thought into it, it was really quite sweet. He waited until you reached down for your purse to slip his card over the counter to Luciana.  

She wore that same smile he’d seen on Mrs. Jefferson at the library. That smirk. Like they knew something he didn’t.  

You heard the ring of the cash registered and looked up at him, agape. You swatted his arm without thinking twice about it and there was a comfort in that. He laughed, taking his coffee and settling in at a table by the windows as you followed behind.  

As he watched you across the table, your eyes glancing out to the pedestrians as they walked back, nursing the steaming mug of coffee between your hands, that morning suddenly felt like it was a life time ago.  

Had he really been paralyzed with pain, unable to move from his bed, just a few hours earlier? It felt like a century had passed in between. In a rare indulgence, Bucky let himself wonder what it would feel like to spend all his time with you; if maybe time moved so fast it swept him off his feet or if it moved slow enough to allow him to catch every second.  

All he knew was that he wanted more.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic

[screamingatanemptyroom]

One Shot Werewolf Story

So... first of all, Next part of PFTS should be coming out soon. It's going to take some work to make sure that I pull all the threads that's I've placed in all the worlds together without plot holes, so apologize for how long it's taking. Will probably finish this last world in 2-3 parts, with possibly 1 or two extra parts from Liam and the Traveler's perspective.

Now, back to the story at hand. About a week ago, I wandered into the werewolf side of Wattpad. It was very... interesting. Never written about werewolves before. Thought it might be fun to try my own using my own style. (Women who constantly think they aren't pretty or good enough for the man, men who force physical intimacy and growl "mine" aren't really going to work for me.)

Anyways, It's about a 13k oneshot. It's a bit out of my norm, so I hope you guys enjoy! (Also I would love to hear ideas on what to title this.)

Here it is:

________________________

“I can’t believe you read this garbage!” Alyssa’s coworker held up the book in her hand, staring at it with disgust. “What do you see in books like this, anyways?”

Alyssa sighed, looking up at the book in question. The cover showed a shirtless muscular man holding a busty woman while scowling at the camera, with the title written across the top in bright orange words: “The Alpha’s Timid Mate.”

“I don’t read it for fun.” She muttered, reaching up and snatching the book back. Opening the large roller suitcase behind her, she found its place among the hundreds of other werewolf books and put it away carefully.

“Then what is it?” Her coworker asked with a tone of disbelief.

“Research.”

“Really? Research? For what? When your werewolf boyfriend shows up out of nowhere? “ She let out a derisive snort. “Sure.”

“…You don’t understand.”

She doesn’t understand us. The wolf in Alyssa’s head spoke up silently.

“That’s what I said.”

Can we eat her? Her wolf seemed excited by the idea.

“No. You know we can’t. You don’t even really want to. You’re just acting out because you’re upset I won’t let you watch horror movies any more.”

I am not acting out! But since you mentioned it… bring back the horror movies!

“No.”

“What are you talking about?” Her coworker frowned; confused by the conversation she could only hear half of.

Turning to her briefly, Alyssa shrugged. “Sorry, I’m just having a small discussion. I’ll be free to talk shortly.”

“Don’t bother.” The girl walked away, whispering under her breath. “Freak.”

Should have just eaten her.

“Wolves don’t even eat people. Stop pretending.”

How do you know? Maybe WEREwolves DO eat people! You have no clue! You haven’t found a pack yet. Even though you PROMISED!

“I know, I know.” Alyssa rubbed her forehead tiredly. “It’s harder than I thought it would be.”

I’m lonely and bored! I want to go run! I want a pack!

“Anything else, Your Highness? A bone on a silver platter?”

The wolf paused at that, pouting quietly … I’m hungry. Feed us something tasty.

“That I can do. We’ll eat on our lunch break.”

Steak?

“…We’ll see.”

As her wolf silently cheered, the door to the bookstore she was tending opened. A strange smell reached her nose. Mint and pine along with another scent she couldn’t quite place.

Alyssa looked up and was startled. The man who walked in looked like he had stepped off the cover of one of her werewolf books. Muscular, handsome… his brown hair just long enough to frame his green eyes. And tall… Alyssa had always known she was short, but never felt quite so at a disadvantage height wise as she did at the man’s approach.

He looks like the lead from book #298. Her wolf suggested in an interested tone.

“I was thinking book #645, but I see your point.”

Why do you think he’s here?

“I don’t know.”

As he moved closer, his gaze meeting her own, Alyssa stepped back, the sound of her wolf’s growl filling her mind.

HE’S A WEREWOLF! … even better, he smells strong… an ALPHA? QUICK, MATE HIM!

An alpha? Crap. Alyssa had done enough research to know that was bad news. “Look here, missy, I am not assaulting some stranger just because…”

Then let’s switch over to wolf so I can do it!

“No!”

“Excuse me…” The man spoke up, his voice hesitant and trailing off.

Alyssa turned and hurried out the back. Passing through the bookshelves, she heard someone following close behind, and picked up the pace. The door squeaked loudly as she forced it open, slamming against the wall as she broke out into a run towards the back alley.

“Wait!” The man’s voice called out.

Seeing that they were now alone, she stopped in her tracks, and turned, more irritated than nervous. “What?”

“…” He seemed thrown off by her sudden change, but shook his head, studying her closely. The man seemed to recognize something, and moved quickly to stand next to her. “You’re…” His eyes widened, and he reached out to grab her. “A werewolf? My mate?!”

YES! I knew it! Her wolf’s scream of excitement echoed in her mind.

Alyssa sighed tiredly, reaching into her bag. “Well, crap.”

________________________

It had been a terrible day.

Lewis listened to his family arguing, wishing for the thousandth time that he wasn’t in charge.

“Nightfang’s pack could wipe us out!” Gary, his Beta, slammed his fist on the table, the force of it scattering plates and cups.

Lewis’s mother stood up, and despite her height only coming only to the enormous man’s chin he shrunk down in fear. “…Did you just mess up my kitchen?”

“…”

“Then you’re gonna be a good boy and clean that up right now, yes?” She raised an eyebrow. “Or you won’t have to worry about that Nightfang pack. There won’t be enough of you left for them to fight over once I’m through.”

“…I’ll clean it up right away, Ma’am.”

“That’s what I thought.” She turned to Lewis, patting his shoulder comfortingly. “What’s you plan to deal with this, dear?”

“My plan?” His voice came out slightly more stressed than he meant it to.

“Well, you’re the alpha. Your father left it to you to protect us. “

“Yes. Of course… a plan… which I definitely have.”

Gary and his mate Berta glanced at each other from the other side of the table.

“He doesn’t have a plan.”

“Did you really expect him to?”

“Hey!” At Lewis’s hurt exclamation, Gary shrugged.

“No offense, Alpha, but since your broth… since Nightfang left and took half the pack with him, things have been a little disorganized. You have to admit that’s true.”

Lewis walked over to the window of the cabin, leaning on the sill and staring up at the cloudy sky. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to help each other. Help the pack. But now it’s all just one huge mess and I’m the only one left to take care of it.

Hey, you’re not alone! His wolf’s irritated voice burst out. I’m always here. We’re stuck together for life!

I’m aware. He chuckled quietly. Glad to have you, Buddy.

So… Can we go find our mate now?

You know we can’t. There could be an attack any day now. Besides, I’ve already visited all the packs within driving distance. She’s not there.

Maybe she’s human, like our mom. We should go to town and find her.

Yeah, just go to town and pick up a mate like going to the grocery store to pick up milk. No problem with that.

She’s probably waiting for us! She’s wondering what’s taking us so long to find her. What if she thinks we can’t provide for her? Hurry, you have to find her…. Bring steak… no… four steaks… fatty ones! It will show that we can feed her… make her fat! She’ll definitely want to mate with us then!

Nothing turns women on more than shoving red meat in their face and telling them that you’ll help them gain weight.

Like you would know? Who have you dated? Regale me with tales of your vast experience.

Hey! You haven’t dated either.

I have instincts, at least.

“Lewis?” Gary’s voice broke him from his silent talk with his wolf.

He turned back “We’ll tighten up the patrol schedule.” He rubbed his forehead.

“It will mean giving up territory.”

“I’m aware.” The words came out as a growl. Territory was everything. In the old days it was a pack’s survival. The instinct to protect it at all costs remained, but Lewis had no choice. “Their safety matters more.”

The pack has to be protected first.

Agree. His wolf sounded unhappy, but stood by him, as always.

“Alright then. Continue with training, and preparing for if Nightfang brings his pack for war.” Lewis sighed. “Hopefully they’ll wait until the colder weather passes.”

Although it might be just delaying the inevitable.

“You are all dismissed.” As he stood up, however, his mother stopped him with a smile.

“Can you pick up some milk, dear? I’m out.”

“… Sure, Mom.” He held back a laugh thinking about his conversation with his wolf, knowing that no one else would get the joke. Maybe I’ll pick up my mate while I’m there.

He headed into town.

As he parked his car and walked towards the supermarket, however, his wolf suddenly started shouting in his head.

She’s here!

Lewis frowned. Who? Nightfang or one of his followers?

No, you idiot! Our mate!

Where? He skidded to a halt, staring around frantically. His heart started to race, as he prepared to meet his soulmate… the one he had been waiting for his entire life.

In the bookstore! His wolf wasn’t much better, barely able to communicate in its excitement.

He opened the door, ignoring the soft chime that sounded out to alert a new customer’s arrival. His eyes scanned the room, trying to spot… something. A familiar face, a special feeling. How do you know if someone is your mate…?

His silent voice trailed off in shock as he stared at… her.

She was beautiful.

Dark curls, the tips just barely brushing her shoulders. She was short… very short. He felt awkwardly tall, wondering if she would dislike his height. She seemed to be packing a book into a suitcase, but then turned to face him.

Her grey eyes widened at the sight of him.

Does she feel it too?

QUICK, FEED HER!

With what?!!! I don’t have any food!

Why didn’t you bring the steaks?!!! Now she’s going to think we’re weak and she’ll starve as our mate! What if she leaves us?!!

Human women don’t need steaks for courtship… watch.

Lewis cleared his throat. “Excuse me…”

She turned and rushed out of the store.

…

…

…You were saying?

…Maybe you were right about the steaks.

He followed her out to the back of the shop, cringing at the suspicious looks that the customers in the shop gave him.

I’m chasing after a girl into a back alley. I’ll be lucky if no one calls the cops.

She’s our mate! We could never hurt her!

They don’t know that. She might not even know that!

To his shock she stopped and turned around once they were out of the store. Placing her hands on her hips, she glared at him. “What?”

“…” She was even more mesmerizing up close. Lewis nervously cleared his throat, stepping closer.

Her scent filled his senses. Lilac and spring and… wolf?

She’s a werewolf! That’s awesome! Let’s shift and show her how strong our wolf form is. It’s much better looking than the human look.

“You’re…” Feeling stunned, he reached out, wanting to touch her, to hold her hand. “A werewolf? My mate?”

This is amazing! His mate, his soulmate was standing right in front of him. Would she be happy too? Was she excited to meet us?

She didn’t seem shocked. Didn’t seem happy either… or angry, or afraid. Her face just showed mild… annoyance?

Does she not feel the bond?

“Well, crap.”

As she spoke out with a matter of fact tone, Lewis’s hand neared her shoulder, only to spasm and drop as he fell to the ground shaking. His mate stood over him, staring down at him blankly, the Taser in her hand still sparking.

Well, crap. He silently echoed his mate’s words as darkness overcame him.

________________________

Alyssa sat on her favorite chair, holding her favorite mug, drinking her favorite tea, wrapped in her favorite blanket, hoping it would improve her mood.

It wasn’t working.

Mostly due to the large man on her living room floor, just now waking up from the effects of her Taser… and the large animal sedative she stuck him with after he went down. He blinked his eyes, seeming confused and disoriented.

He’s adorable. I bet his wolf is good looking! Can you ask him to shift? Her wolf hadn’t shut up since they met the other werewolf.

“Shush. He’s waking up now. It would be rude to ask him before we’ve talked. “

Spoilsport. At least show him all the hamburger meat we have frozen.

“Why would he want to see our hamburger meat?”

THAT will show him how effective we are at gathering food! We can be an asset to his pack! If he doesn’t have a pack he should follow us around, and we can fatten him up! … he’s too skinny.

“He’s not skinny… he’s very muscular.”

What if there’s not enough prey in the winter? His muscles will go away. He should have a nice little layer of fat.

“Do not fatten him up! I like him like this.”

“Excuse me?” The man on her living room floor struggled to sit up. Leaning back against her TV stand, he blinked a few more times, obviously still fighting off the tranquilizer. Looking around, he just seemed more confused. “Where am I?”

“My home.” Alyssa told him, taking another sip of her tea.

“Ah.” He paused, awkwardly shifting his weight and raising his hands which were tied together with silver chains, like his ankles. “Why am I tied up?”

“…” She stared at him silently a few moments. “You’re a werewolf.”

“…Yes. So are you?”

“You said I was your mate.”

He blushed at that, avoiding eye contact. “Sorry. I know that was awkward. I was surprised. I’ve been looking for years since I reached adulthood.”

“You’re an alpha?”

“Yes.” Straightening his spine, he forced a cocky looking grin. “A strong alpha of a great pack.”

“So now you know why you’re tied up.”

“…pardon?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’ve done enough research to know when an alpha finds his mate, it tends to get physical… and non-consensual… real quick.”

He still seemed confused. “Research?”

She set down her tea and blanket and dragged over the enormous roller suitcase. Opening it, she displayed hundreds of paperback romance books. She pulled one out, showing off the cover, which showed a half-naked muscular man holding a woman tightly as she half-heartedly pushed him away.

The bound man looked at the picture. “The Reluctant Mate of an Alpha? What is this?”

“There are 983 books on werewolves in my possession.” She pulled out her notebook, quickly flipping to the “alpha” section. “88% of them feature an alpha werewolf as the male lead… and 92% of those characters force their mate to engage in physical intimacy… mostly hugging and kissing… within the first few minutes of meeting them.”

“You… you’re getting your information from romance books?” He looked horrified. “Where’s your pack?”

“No pack. Abandoned as a baby. I grew up in the foster system.”

A low angry growl sounded from his chest. “What pack abandons a child?!”

“The kind of pack that I’m probably better off being abandoned than raised by.” She tapped the book again. “Back to the fact that I’m apparently the mate to an alpha wolf.”

“Not apparently!” He looked distressed still. “You ARE! Can’t you sense it?”

She ignored him, putting the book back carefully. “You know that alpha wolves aren’t even a natural thing… only happens with wolves in captivity. Wolves in the wild tend to form family units. “

“…But we aren’t normal wolves? We wouldn’t have the exact same pack structure.”

“Exactly. Thus I can’t use my wolf encyclopedia to gain information.” She frowned. “That would have been preferable, honestly. I don’t really like the alphas in these stories.”

If you’re not going to mate with him… can we eat him?

“Stop asking to eat people. You know the answer.”

Lewis’s eyes grew wide. “Did you say ‘eat PEOPLE?”

“Don’t worry. There’s a strict ‘no eating people’ rule. It’s just a phase she’s gone through since I let her watch 80s horror werewolf flicks. She thinks its funny, but its not. “ She threw her hands up helplessly. “This is WHY we are on a horror movie ban!”

This is unfair!

“It’s perfectly fair! Even if you ignore the moral implications, you wouldn’t even like the taste of human flesh!”

What about hot sauce? Didn’t you say hot sauce makes every thing taste better?

“Yes… hot sauce does make everything taste better.”

“Wait… are you going to EAT me?” Lewis questioned with a panicked tone, scooting backwards closer to the door.

“No. I told you, there’s a firm ‘no eating people’ rule in place. We’re done discussing that.”

“But…”

“We’re discussing whether or not hot sauce would make your flesh taste better if we ate you… hypothetically.”

“Oh.” He thought it over. “I do like hot sauce. But I don’t think wolves do.”

“No. It would give them diarrhea, probably.” Alyssa nodded. “See. Even hot sauce wouldn’t help.”

Then if we aren’t going to eat him, can we please just MATE with him?

“No eating. No mating.”

“Wait, can we not put a strict no mating rule in place just yet? At least not a permanent one?” He paused. “Also, if I promise not to engage in any alpha behaviors like you see in your ‘research’, can I please be untied?”

“…” She studied him warily. “I suppose.”

“Great!” He held out his wrists, smiling with relief as she started to untie him.

“I have plenty of tranquilizer anyways.” She muttered.

“…pardon?”

The bonds slipped free. The man rubbed his wrists, careful to not make any sudden movements. Relieved by his apparent honesty in not trying anything, Alyssa headed back to her chair and wrapped herself back in her blanket.

Grabbing her tea, she took a sip of the lukewarm liquid and smiled. “So what brought the great alpha into my place of work today? Were you looking for me?”

________________________

Lewis was unsure how to answer his mate. Panicking, he said the first thing he thought of.

“Actually I was going to go buy milk.”

She raised an eyebrow. “In the bookstore?”

“Yes! I mean, no!” He covered in his face. “I was on my way to the supermarket, when my wolf… sensed you.”

She tilted her head, seeming more interested. “Your wolf? What’s he like?”

TELL HER I AM VERY STRONG!

“Umm… he’s strong…”

TELL HER I CAN MAKE HER FAT!!

No!

How else will she know I can provide food for her and our children?!

No. I’m not saying we’ll make her fat!

ITS IMPORTANT! TELL HER HOW FAT WE CAN MAKE HER!

“Are you okay?”

“WE’LL MAKE YOU REALLY FAT!” Lewis blurted out… and then stared at the ground in embarrassed horror.

“…” There was a long silence.

“My wolf says that’s very attractive.” She shook her head. “She wants you to know that we have several pounds of hamburger in our freezer and that we are happy to contribute food to you and your family.”

She’s smart and stores plenty of meat in her freezer! Please convince her to stay as our mate!

“So would you like to come visit our pack? He asked, wincing as she pulled what appeared to be a miniature Taser out of thin air. “Just visiting! No mating!” He relaxed as she hid the Taser away again “…Where were you even keeping that?”

“Secret pocket in the sleeve…. It’s not my only one, so don’t think I’ve given you any advantage.”

Lewis tried to think of something that would appeal to her. “I know you don’t have a pack… it would be a chance to get to know others like you… “

“… I would be able to refine my research…” She muttered, staring down at her notebook. “Plus my wolf really wants to…”

SHE’S GOING TO SAY YES!

Shush!

“Sure. Why not?” She shrugged, holding out her hand. “I guess we should officially meet if we’re going back to your pack together. I’m Alyssa.”

Alyssa! Her name is pretty!

“Nice to meet you Alyssa.” Lewis smiled brightly. “I’m Lewis.” He shook her hand, trying to stay calm at the shocking feeling of touching her. It was almost painful, as if every cell in his body were screaming at him that he’s met his soulmate. Overwhelmed, confused, he glanced over at his mate, only to see her calm expression.

Does she not feel this? Are we just delusional?

She’s our mate! Of course she feels it!

She’s not acting like it. Maybe we’re wrong? Lewis felt a stabbing pain in his chest at the thought. She was his mate. He had waited his whole life to meet her. He belonged to her.

What if she doesn’t want us?

… His wolf didn’t have an answer to that.

Maybe she can sense our weakness… our failure.

No… we’re not weak! We’re alpha of a strong pack!

That’s fallen apart because most of them felt I wasn’t the best one for the job.

We have to be strong. We can’t fail our pack or our mate. Don’t show weakness!

I’ll try.

Lewis forced a calm smile as he looked at Alyssa. “Should we head over and meet the pack?”

“Hmm… Aren’t you forgetting something?” She angled her head, studying him.

“What?”

“Didn’t you say you were on your way to pick up milk when you met me?”

“OH SHOOT!” He jumped to his feet. “I’m glad you said something! You saved my life!”

“By remembering milk?”

“You don’t realize how horrible my death would be at my mom’s hands if I had forgotten it.”

“…” She raised an eyebrow, a slight smile at the corner of her mouth. “You’re welcome, then.”

I like her smile! Let’s help make her smile more!

Agree.

Lewis ran to pick up some milk while she packed a bag for the trip. When he returned, he was shocked by the number of suitcases she had brought with her.

“Are all these clothes?”

“Don’t be silly.” She looked at him like he was an idiot. “It’s my research.”

He was almost afraid to ask, but felt he had to. “… They’re all filled with werewolf romance books… aren’t they?

“Not just books… “ Alyssa seemed a little defensive. “There’s some weapons. And a few changes of clothes.”

“If you’re staying a few days at least, do you need to take off work?”

She shook her head. “No need.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. “

“…Okay.” He didn’t want to pry. At least not yet. Maybe one day she’ll trust us enough to tell us more.

He packed her bags into the car, glad for his superhuman strength as he lifted the suitcases filled to the brim with books. Alyssa sat in the passenger seat, clutching a notebook and a small messenger bag, which also appeared to be filled with books. As they headed outside of town, an awkward silence fell between them.

Say something witty! His wolf finally lost patience with Something that will make her think we’re smart!

Open to any suggestions, Buddy. I’m having trouble thinking straight with our mate so close, much less think of something smart to say!

Aren’t you supposed to be the more intelligent half? I’m supposed to be the stronger one.

You’re the one always saying that wolves are super intelligent creatures and I should listen to you more!

Now we’re being silent for too long! What if she thinks we’re an idiot?!

You’re not helping…

“So how do werewolves mate?” Alyssa asked calmly, the question almost causing Lewis to swerve off the road in shock.

“…”

…

“Sorry, I don’t think I heard you. Could you repeat the question?”

“How do werewolves mate?”

… I think I preferred the awkward silence.

No! This is good! She’s showing an interest in mating!

“Umm… Not differently than humans… you learned about that in health class, right?” He desperately hoped he would not have to have a “birds and bees” talk with his mate right after meeting her.

“Oh.” She sounded slightly disappointed. “So we don’t mate in wolf form?”

I’m game.

SHUT UP.

“Typically no… I mean I guess it’s possible…” He felt himself turn bright red, feeling super uncomfortable. “But usually its in human form… at least from my understanding of what mated couples say.”

“Hmm..” She seemed to be listening to something. “No, I don’t think his wolf is impotent. I think it’s a cultural thing.”

HER WOLF THINKS I’M IMPOTENT, WE’RE SHIFTING NOW!

We are currently driving down a highway! We are not shifting any time soon! Besides, what on earth do you think you’re going to do in wolf form that’s going to convince her otherwise?

I’ll show her my genitals, to reassure her.

THAT DOES NOT REASSURE WOMEN! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US TASED?!

“So I bet that means that werewolf pregnancy follows human rules then. “ She sighed, frowning while pulling out her notebook and writing a few things down. “There was only 3% of books that presented mating and pregnancy while in wolf form, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“… I see.”

“How long does pregnancy last? 19% of the books depict a shorter pregnancy cycle, but I wasn’t sure if it was just to get the plot to move faster.”

“Normal 9 months.”

“Number of children per pregnancy?”

“One… unless you have twins.”

She groaned, leaning back in her chair. “So no advantages at all? So disappointing.”

SHE’S DISAPOINTED! TELL HER TWINS RUN IN OUR FAMILY! WE’LL GIVE HER SO MANY CHILDREN!

“Twins run in our family!” Lewis nearly shouted.

“Really?” Alyssa studied him, looking slightly interested. “Do you have a twin?”

Great. I really had to bring HIM up.

“I do… but he left the pack.”

“Does that happen often?”

“No.”

“I see…” She made a few more notes. “Obviously the villain.”

“…” I mean, she’s not wrong. “Any other questions?” Please be something easy.

“Will mating with another werewolf change my menstrual cycle?”

“…”

…

Do you know?

Nope. Nothing in the instincts about this. Do you?

Nope.

He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I don’t know the answer to that question. One of the pack might be able to answer it. Maybe Bridget? She seems pretty knowledgeable.”

“Bridget? Your sister?”

“No… she’s just one of the warriors in the pack..”

“Hmm…” Alyssa thought that over. “Is she pretty?”

Lewis shrugged. “Seems pretty normal.”

“Do you two get along?”

“She follows orders, so I guess?”

“I see.” He could hear her pen scratching against paper again. “The female side character who will try to chase we away, maybe? How exciting.”

“…” Lewis decided he didn’t want to ask anything about it. For the sake of his sanity if nothing else.

They spent the rest of the car ride in silence.

________________________

Alyssa felt increasingly nervous the closer they got to pack territory.

I think we’re almost there. This area smells different.

“Different how?”

It smells like our mate! I like it!

“Hmm… Do you think he pees on trees to mark his territory?”

Isn’t that normal?

“It’s normal for wolves… do you think he does it in human form too?”

“I DON’T MARK TERRITORY AS A HUMAN!” Lewis spoke out frantically. “Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?!”

She turned to him, curious by his reaction. “Don’t you talk to your wolf?”

“All the time, but I do it SILENTLY!” He paused. “Do you not know how to?”

“Oh I know how to, I just think it’s really rude to leave her out of the general conversation. She’s here too you know.”

“That makes sense… I guess…” He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. “Well, I assume you know since you were commenting on the scent markings, but yes, we’re in pack territory. “

Alyssa nodded, her heart rate increasing slightly. She didn’t like this. Going to unfamiliar places. Meeting new people. Especially people who may have a culture or rules that she didn’t understand. They might not like her.

How could they not love us? We’re a strong, beautiful female… at least when we’re in wolf form.

“Hey!”

We’ll be just fine.

“I hope so.” She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves.

A warm hand hesitantly grasped her own. She felt an electric shock traveling up her fingers from the touch, but kept her face expressionless. “Are you okay?” Lewis’s voice was quiet, a comforting sound.

I like his voice. His touch his very warm!

“If you’re worried… I know that you might not believe me, but the pack is very friendly. You’ll feel very welcome.”

“In 42% of the books the pack is welcoming to a stranger… usually because she’s the alpha’s mate. In the rest they are either wary of the unknown person, or distrustful or unfriendly. “ She thought it over. “I guess it’s not bad odds.”

The car came to a stop. Lewis squeezed her hand one last time, and then stepped out, getting her suitcases from the trunk and back seat. Alyssa stared down at her now empty hand, feeling frustrated.

I trust him.

“You trust everyone. It’s my job to keep us safe.” She got out of the car, staring around at the area. There were several nice houses, all scattered far from each other. The place was quiet, peaceful, surrounded by woods. She liked it.

He won’t hurt us. He can’t. It would be like hurting himself.

“You’d be surprised how low people can sink if they want.”

No I wouldn’t. I lived through all the same experiences with you. But wolves do better with a family. We’ll do better with a pack.

“I haven’t agreed to that yet.”

We’ll see.

Lewis carried her many bags without seeming stressed by the weight. “I’ll bring these into the main house. Do you want to come along? Or you can wait here, I can show you around.”

She glanced around at the forest around her. “I’ll wait here.”

“Ok. I’ll be right back.” He looked slightly worried about separating from her, but after a brief hesitation, he walked away.

Alyssa strolled around the clearing by the car, feeling calmer as she took in the fresh air.

I like it here. We should live here.

“We’ll see.”

Also mate Lewis before another female gets him.

“I don’t think that’s how it works. In 82% of the books, being mates meant soul mates. Only small exceptions made for if mates rejected each other and such… for the drama, I suppose. “

Don’t take chances. Even with an impotent wolf we should claim him sooner rather than later. He has fatty steaks in his house. I can smell them.

“That’s what’s important to you? And I told you, I don’t think his wolf is impotent…”

“WHO ARE YOU?” A strident voice called out.

Alyssa turned to see a beautiful young woman walking towards her with a suspicious expression. She had shorter, curly blond hair and bright green eyes, towering over her in height. Alyssa sighed slightly as she realized she would probably be the shortest werewolf here by a good amount.

We’re short but feisty! Don’t underestimate us!

“I’m Alyssa.” She waved cheerfully. “Who are you?”

“…” The young woman seemed confused. “Bridget.”

The bitch side character! Maybe she’ll shout at us to “stay away from her man!”

“You don’t know that. Maybe she’s nice. She’s pretty.”

She is pretty… but it would be more fun if she were hysterical and tried to scare us off.

“…Who are you talking to?”

“My wolf.” Alyssa grinned at her. “She’s wondering if you are going to scream at us and tell us to stay away from Lewis.”

The woman seemed stunned. “Why would I do that?”

“All the books have it.” She pulled out her notebook and spread out the books from her messenger bag. Holding up one where a woman in a ripped dress stood next to a large wolf titled “The Alpha’s Runaway Love”, she pointed to a smaller, angry looking woman in the background of the cover. “See… in 79% of these stories there’s a strong female side character who is desperately in love with the alpha despite him being mated to the main character and tries to drive her away.”

“… Are those… romance novels….?”

“But I really hope you aren’t that character type. I think you seem like an awesome older sister type.” She stepped closer, which highlighted the height difference between them. “We’ve always wanted a cool, pretty older sister like you. “

“…” Bridget seemed genuinely overwhelmed. “Umm… first of all… I don’t want to scare you away from Lewis… I grew up with the guy. He wet the bed once when I slept over when we were five… ruined my favorite princess sheets…”

Alyssa started taking notes.

“I was just curious about who you were…” She rested a hand on Alyssa’s head, almost seemingly despite herself. “Are you Lewis’ mate?”

“Yep! He found me in a bookstore.” She paused. “Do you know if mating with a werewolf changes your menstrual cycle? I asked Lewis, but he seemed like he was having a seizure and said he didn’t know.”

“…” Bridgett’s face spasmed at that, she seemed to be holding back a laugh.

“Also… I brought hamburger meat… do you want some? “

“So…” Bridget’s voice trailed off.

“So?” Alyssa tilted her head, confused.

“SO CUTE!!!” Alyssa was pulled into an enormous bear hug, squeezed almost uncomfortably tight as Bridget continued to yell. “YOU’RE ADOPTED!”

“What are you doing with my mate?” Lewis’s strained voice made Alyssa want to look over, but she was still trapped in the hug.

“She’s my little sister now, Alpha.” Bridget’s voice was calm, but stern. “If anything happens to her, I will destroy you.”

Alyssa smiled at her as the tall woman set her down. “Really?”

“Really.” Bridget grinned back. “I’ve always wanted a sister too.”

“Awesome!”

As the two girls began chatting excitedly, Lewis cleared his throat. “Guys? I hate to break up the love here, but the pack is gathering to meet Alyssa.”

He walked over towards Alyssa, stopping in his tracks as Bridget grabbed her first and tugged her in the correct direction. “Come on, let’s hurry up! I can’t wait to introduce you to them!”

“She’s MY mate! I want to introduce her!”

“Too bad, so sad, bedwetter! If you weren’t so slow maybe you could have grabbed her first.” She laughed.

“Hey, you promised never to mention that again! What if you scare my mate away?!”

“Even better, she’ll just live with me and my family.”

As they moved, Alyssa tapped her arm, leaning close. “Is this really okay?”

“Is what okay?”

“I mean… he’s your alpha… is it okay to be like this with him?”

Bridget smiled. “Don’t worry. He’s a good alpha… a strong fighter, a capable leader… but he’s very kind. He prefers his pack feel comfortable enough to joke around with him. Says if they can trust him enough to make fun of him that it means they’ll trust him enough to have the uncomfortable conversations as well.”

He’s a good leader.

“Maybe…”

Let’s mate him!

Alyssa groaned at the expected response from her wolf, shaking her head slowly.

They arrived in a clearing in the woods, where twenty or thirty people had gathered. Everyone looked very different, with skin tones, eye and hair color varying widely from person to person. People of all ages chatted excitedly, watching their approach. They did have one thing in common though:

They were all tall.

We’re… tall… too.

“We’re short.” Feeling uncomfortable, she hid behind Bridget, who growled at the crowd.

“Don’t you guys make my sister uncomfortable! Sit down, you’re scaring her.”

The crowd looked very confused at that, but sat down on the grass anyways. Besides the three of them, only one man remained standing. He was enormous, a head taller than even Lewis, who Alyssa already considered very tall. He was broad as well as tall, his muscles nearly bursting out of the flannel shirt he was wearing. His face was covered in a bushy beard, his dark hair cropped close.

Overall Alyssa thought he looked very intimidating. She watched as he approached, a hand grasping her hidden Taser in her sleeve.

“This is my Beta Gary.” Lewis’s calm voice was reassuring, but she refused to relax her vigilance as the large man bent down to look her in the eye. “Gary, this is my mate, Alyssa.”

“Hey there, Alyssa.” The hair-covered face broke into a friendly smile. “We’ve been hoping Lewis would find a nice mate for a while now. Glad you’re here. If anyone gives you trouble you let me know, I’ll knock a few heads in.”

Alyssa grinned back at him. “Nice to meet you, Gary. You’re really large.”

Ask him if we can sit on his shoulder! I want to be tall!

“It would be rude to ask to sit on his shoulder right after meeting him. We’ll ask him later.”

But…

Before her wolf could complain too much, Gary reached out and picked her up easily, placing her on one broad shoulder and steadying her with a single hand. “How’s this?”

Alyssa looked around. “This is GREAT!” She laughed.

Bow before us mortals! WE ARE TALL!

“My wolf is very happy right now. She was sad that we were so much shorter than everyone.”

HEY! You were sad too!

“Well you can ride on my shoulder anytime you want.” Gary laughed. “My mate Berta and I always wanted kids, but…” his voice trailed off slightly. “Well, anyways, feel free to come to us if you ever need help.”

“OR ME!” Bridget burst out. “I’ve already claimed her as my little sister!”

Lewis stared at the three of them, looking slightly tired. “Do I get any time with her as her mate?”

Gary and Bridget glanced at each other. “… We’ll see.”

Putting Alyssa down in front of the pack, Gary winked at her as if to reassure her before taking his place standing behind the Alpha. Lewis stepped forward, his manner becoming stronger, more confident as he addressed the crowd.

“Everyone, this is my mate Alyssa. She’s one of us, but she doesn’t have a pack. So I expect you all to make her feel safe and welcome.” He looked around, smiling as everyone nodded obediently.

“Welcome!”

“We’re glad you’re here!”

“Maybe Lewis will stop moping so much now!”

The cheerful voices of the pack made Alyssa feel calmer. She waved at them, speaking up. “Hey everyone! Like Lewis said, I’m Alyssa. I don’t know much about werewolves… I’ve only grown up around humans, but I’m excited to learn more.”

They seem nice.

Her wolf was happy about the packs’ reactions. No one seemed thrown off by her introduction. No one was glaring at her or even seeming suspicious of her.

It’s a good thing, right?

Before she could respond, Lewis spoke up, distracting her. “Let’s take you back to meet my mom.”

________________________

Lewis was relieved that the pack introduction went so well. Not that he was overly surprised; most of the more disagreeable pack members had left in the split with his brother. Who was left were either the ones too reasonable to be sucked into his rhetoric, or the very loyal ones to himself or his father.

Either way, I guess it’s a good thing.

He led his mate towards his house, breathing a small sigh of relief when Bridget and Gary didn’t insist on following. He liked them both a lot, but they could be a lot. Especially since they seemed to have instantly bonded with Alyssa.

Just admit it. We’re jealous. We want to bond with Alyssa too.

We don’t know what all she’s been through. She was abandoned by her pack as an infant. Her only knowledge of us doesn’t paint Alpha’s in a good light… or at least they don’t seem to. Lewis resolved to get his hands on some of those books and read through this. It might help us understand how she views us… and how to reassure her.

I like her. His wolf’s voice was filled with a patient care. Even if she doesn’t like us just yet, I hope she’s happy and feels safe here.

I do too. Lewis desperately wanted to reassure his mate. He could feel her anxiety through the bond. Even when she was smiling she didn’t feel safe. But he didn’t know how to help just yet.

They reached the house, and as they were about to enter, the door swung open and Lewis’s mother rushed out. Making a beeline for Alyssa, she hugged her tightly, grinning.

“I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE HERE!”

Alyssa seemed shocked at the sudden appearance of his mother. Lewis tried to step in. “Mom, don’t scare her…”

“Finally someone normal sized!” Alyssa burst out, hugging his mother back.

“I know, right? They’re all way too tall!” Lewis’s mother stepped back, patting her head fondly. “I forgive them since they’re all such good people, but still, I’m happy to have someone I don’t have to strain my neck to look at.”

“Mom, this is Alyssa, my mate.”

“I figured as much dear. You’ve never paid so much attention and care to a single person before. “ She grabbed Alyssa’s hand. “Come in, I made food.”

Our mother understands! She’ll show our mate how much food we can provide!

Alyssa glanced at him. “My wolf wants to make sure that the hamburger meat we brought got put in the fridge.”

“I took care of it.” Lewis puffed out his chest, feeling accomplished.

His mother just shook her head. “Boys. Why don’t you take her bags up to the room next to mine while I get her something to pad her stomach?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He grabbed the suitcases full of books, weapons and clothes and rushed up the stairs. Her room was on the opposite end of the house from him, right next to his mother’s rooms.

Why is she staying so far away from us? His wolf whined in his head. What if something happens? How will we protect her?

She already doesn’t trust us. Hopefully the living arrangements will make her less nervous. If she doesn’t like it, she might go stay with Bridget instead. Do you want that?

No. Stupid Bridgett. She brought up the bedwetting incident. Our childhood shame bared in front of our mate! What if she doesn’t like us now?

We were young. I can’t imagine she would hold it against us… although yes, it is very embarrassing.

As he neared the kitchen once more, he overheard Alyssa and his mother talking. About to announce his arrival, his mouth slammed shut as he heard his mate’s question.

“So Lewis’ brother is a villain, right?”

“…” His mother sighed. “How much has he told you?”

“Just that he has a twin, and he’s not with the pack.”

“Well, I guess you haven’t known each other long… you’ll hear it anyways, might as well be from me, since he’s my son.” She sat down at the counter, rubbing her forehead tiredly.

“I had three children, actually. Twins boys and a younger girl. My husband was the Alpha of the Western pack, and although it’s not set in stone, usually one of the children of the Alpha will inherit the position.”

Lewis could hear Alyssa’s pen moving as she frantically took notes. He silently laughed, even as his chest hurt at the sound of his mother’s disappointed tone, leaning against the wall to hear how she would describe their situation.

“Now, I’m not a werewolf, you know. I’m a human who happened to be mates with a werewolf. So maybe I didn’t instill the idea of pack values as strongly as I could have.” She sighed. “Lewis seemed to get it naturally. He got hurt when he was ten… the first time he transformed, just to protect an elderly pack member who was being attacked. He’s got a large scar on his left elbow from a hunter’s arrow. Werewolves heal well… but the scars remain.”

My other son… Benjamin… he wasn’t nearly as concerned about the pack’s well being. Just obsessed with being strong. Being in charge. My daughter Emily seemed to feel very similar.”

“Seems pretty Alpha-like… at least how the books describe them.”

“But that’s the thing. Alphas SHOULD be strong. My mate was very strong, in fact. But their strength exists to protect and feed the pack. Strength and power for its own sake has no purpose… and often leads down a dangerous pack.”

“…”

“My mate died.” His mother whispered, the pain in her voice breaking Lewis’s heart. “Lung cancer. Even werewolves can die from disease. They heal… but not fast enough for more aggressive wounds or diseases. They’re not immortal.”

“I’m sorry.” Alyssa seemed genuinely concerned. “How did you survive losing your mate?”

“It helps that I’m human.” Her voice was still quiet. “The pain is still there…it’s like a piece of your soul missing. But I had family, pack … people who needed me to keep waking up each morning. And I’m glad I have.”

“So what happened next?”

“My mate’s will left the pack to Lewis.” His mother shrugged, turning back to stir the contents of a pot on the stove. “It was an obvious choice to us. He is strong, careful… puts the pack first.”

“But Benjamin didn’t agree?”

“He rebelled. Said Lewis was weak. Tried to fight him, but was pushed back by the loyal members of the pack. In the end he took almost half the pack with him to start a new one… including my daughter who also thought Lewis was too weak to lead.”

“…” Alyssa was silent. Lewis leaned against the wall, desperately trying to sense his mate’s emotions. Was she disappointed in him? Did she think he was a failure.

“He goes by Nightfang now… his group is our pack’s greatest threat.”

“…” Suddenly in the silent kitchen, Alyssa chuckled. “Seriously? Nightfang? Did he think that was a cool name?”

Lewis’s mother laughed too. “I know, right. I mean, it’s a serious situation and all, but seriously… he sounds like a villain in a Saturday morning cartoon.” She looked over, and chuckled again. “Alright, Lewis. Stop hiding around the corner and come join the conversation.”

Shamefully, Lewis ducked his head and entered the kitchen. He noticed Alyssa didn’t seem surprised by his presence.

She probably can sense when we’re nearby. It means our bond is slightly stronger!

It also means she knows we were eavesdropping like a creep!

Well we were… not like it’s much better if she doesn’t know.

“So…” He spoke up, trying to appear less awkward. “Can I help with dinner at all, Mom?”

She smiled, reaching up high to pat his head as well. “I’m pretty much done. How about after we eat you show her around the territory?”

Alyssa seemed a little more relaxed, to Lewis’s relief. “I’d like that.”

WE GET TO SPEND TIME WITH HER! THIS IS GREAT!

Play it cool! She already knows that half the pack left because we’re too weak to convince them we’re a good Alpha. If we look like an idiot too…

OH SHUT UP! His wolf snapped at it. Don’t pretend you’re not super excited. We’re the same person!

…Stupid wolf.

Silly human.

... Lewis was excited. So excited he could hardly breathe. His mate was right here, in front of him. She was smart, beautiful, friendly… at least to everyone else… more than he could have ever dared to dream of.

I just want her to like us… any ideas?

I still vote for bringing her food or showing her our genitals. .

… Never mind… I’ll think of something.

________________________

A few weeks passed.

Alyssa sat on the cool grass, watching Lewis in wolf form teaching some of the younger pack members how to fight.

“Watch out for each other.” His voice resounded her mind. “You can’t be so focused on the enemy that you lose track of what’s behind you.”

Having never spent any time prior to this visit around other werewolves, she was interested to find that although she did understand some of wolf language – a combination of scents, sounds and body language – the majority of the time werewolves simply spoke through mental communication.

Lewis batted one of the young wolves aside, snapping at another’s flank and using his weight to push a third to the ground, baring his teeth. The fallen wolf whimpered slightly, more with frustration than pain.

“Alpha, I thought we had to focus all of our attention on the attack, and not stop until the enemy was dead?” The youngest of the three, a male wolf named Teddy, finally spoke up, his tail between his legs. “How are we supposed to do that AND watch our backs?”

“Who told you that?” Lewis seemed shocked. “You are nothing without your pack! Only by working together and looking out for each other will you be at your strongest.”

“It was Uncle Ben…mmph” Teddy’s voice was muffled as the other two wolves tackled him.

“Sorry Alpha, he’s a little dumb.” Teddy’s sister Lara apologized, grinding her brother’s muzzle into the dirt with a paw. “Of course we aren’t going to follow what the traitor Nightfang taught us.”

“But LARA…”

“SHUT UP and let me get us out of this, idiot!”

Lewis stared at them for a few minutes, and then laughed silently in our heads. “It’s okay. I know he was in charge of teaching fighting for years. It’s a different strategy, but give my idea a shot before you dismiss it, okay?”

“YES ALPHA!” The three younger wolves shouted in unison.

“…” Alyssa studied Lewis with a thoughtful expression. He was kind enough to the pups, even when they challenged him and brought up his brother’s name. He didn’t lash out, just calmly guiding them forward. If she didn’t know better, she would think the mention of his brother didn’t bother him at all.

But she could feel it.

Behind his kind words, there was a deep agony. Fear, hurt, betrayal. He resented that his brother left the pack, that he split the pack with his leaving. He regretted that he had let his brother teach the pups… that he taught the pups to be killers rather than to defend and protect the pack. Feared being compared to his brother at every turn.

But mostly… he blamed himself. Hated that he wasn’t a strong enough Alpha to force the pack to stay together. He wished desperately that he could be a better leader… more like his father.

Alyssa rubbed her chest idly, feeling a pain in her heart that wasn’t physical but still wishing to ease it. She could sense his self-doubt, his feelings of helplessness, but was unsure what to do with the knowledge.

Over the last few weeks, they had spent a lot of time together. She had come to recognize that he was as kind as he first seemed, very different than what her book research had led her to expect. He was strong… she could see that in every move her made, especially in his wolf form… but he didn’t seem to place his importance on that strength.

His mother had described him well. He was strong, careful… and he put his pack first.

The closer they got, the more she learned about him, the more she could feel through their bond. His emotions, his mental state. She couldn’t hear his thoughts, not unless he was mentally communicating in wolf form. The information she was getting, however, was almost more than she could bear.

It made her terrified to guess what he could sense about her.

That’s how bonding goes. He is our soul mate. We can’t hide from him.

“…” Alyssa ignored her wolf, mad that she was telling the truth.

“Are you okay?” Alyssa looked up at Lewis’s mental question, startled to see his wolf’s face right in front of her own. “Did something upset you?”

“… What would you do if something did?”

“Help you. No matter what.” His mental voice was firm… reassuring.

“What if it was you that upset me?” Alyssa was curious how he would answer that.

“… If I did something, please let me know… I don’t want to hurt you, even by accident.” He paused. “If you don’t feel comfortable telling me… then my mom or Bridget would be happy to listen. And of course beat me up for whatever I did…”

SORRY WE UPSET YOU MATE! WOULD YOU LIKE MEAT?! Startled, Alyssa realized she could hear Lewis’s wolf directly. He sounded a lot like Lewis, but slightly more… straightforward.

TELL HIM WE LIKE MEAT! Alyssa’s wolf shouted with frustration. OR SHIFT SO I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF!

“How can I hear your wolf? I thought that could only happen after mating?”

Lewis shook his head, the motion strange appearing when performed by a wolf. “I’m not sure… I’ve never been mated before… but I think as our bond deepens we’ll hear more. I can’t hear your wolf now… if she’s speaking…”

I AM SPEAKING! TELL HIM I WANT THE STEAK HE HAS IN THE FREEZER!

“…But if you were in wolf form I might. Their control is a little stronger in that form. One day we might be able to hear each other’s wolves even when in human form.”

“…”

We like you, Mate! We think you are smart and pretty and smell nice! We spend a lot of time arguing over what would make you like us! Lewis’s wolf chimed in.

“Shush…” Lewis tried to interrupt, but the wolf kept talking.

I wanted to bring you meat and expose our genitals to reassure you of our virility, but he insisted that would make you mad.

His wolf is smart. Alyssa’s wolf approved. That would have made me happy.

“…Your wolf and my wolf are on the same page. I have no desire to see genitals, though.”

“No worries, there’s a firm ‘no flashing’ rule in place. “

Her stomach rumbled. “Wouldn’t say no to a steak though!”

Hooray! We’ll bring you the tastiest of the steaks!

See, he loves us enough to bring us the best steak! We should mate him now!

Lewis ran behind a tree and shifted, quickly changing into loose fitting shorts and t-shirt. Alyssa had learned the hard way that the pack had very little sense of modesty.

After numbing her brain to the sight of naked people who had transformed back from wolf form multiple times, she had come to somewhat accept it as normal.

She was still glad that Lewis tried to not be naked in front of her. Although she was now realizing that this might have more to do with avoiding his wolf’s desire to show off genitals then anything else.

“Let’s go.” He smiled, the expression causing her heart to skip a quick beat, and held out his hand. After a short hesitation, she took it, feeling as always the thrill that came from touching him.

They walked together in silence.

As they neared the house, Lewis spoke up. “You know everyone likes you here.”

Alyssa tensed up. “But…?”

“No buts. They just like you.” He let out a quiet sigh. “You don’t have to try this hard.”

“…”

“You look relaxed when you’re talking with the pack. You’re smiling and joking around… you’ve even got half of them addicted to those werewolf romance novels… I mean your research…” He chuckled, squeezing her hand with his own. “But I can feel it, Lyss. I can feel how stressed out you are… how hard you’re trying to make them like you.”

“I…” Alyssa started to talk but then fell silent.

I told you he knows us.

“I’m not judging.” He smiled bitterly. “I wish I had met you much earlier. I don’t know what your life has been like leading up to now. I just want you to know that people like you for the weird, lovely person you are. You can try to relax a little.”

Alyssa thought his words over. “Growing up… being liked… it was safer. Especially if you were the weird kid who had a wolf voice in her head. I learned early how to read people, and act the way they wanted. I’ve grown out of it some… it does get very tiring. But I don’t know if I could completely stop, even if I wanted to.”

“That’s okay.” He grinned. “Just know that I care about you... honestly maybe more than that, although it’s just been a few weeks. You never have to try to get on my good side.”

“I don’t think we ever tried to do that.”

We tried to scare him off. And instead he treated us better than anyone else.

He grinned. “Good. Then I guess I got to see a closer side to you than most… even if it was not meant as a compliment.”

Alyssa felt scared by this. His care. His acceptance of her. Even worse by the fact she could feel through the bond that it was completely genuine.

“Don’t let it worry you too much. Let’s just take it a day at a time for now.”

She sighed with relief at his words. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He thought it over for a moment. “Wait? What about your job at the bookstore? You’ve been here two weeks without notice? Do you still have a job?”

“You don’t need to worry about it.”

You’ll have to tell him eventually.

“If you say so.” His expression and mental state were a little sad, but she ignored it.

She would take it one step at a time, just like Lewis suggested.

________________________

Lewis was going a little crazy.

It had been a month. He spent every day at his mate’s side. Every day talking with Alyssa, laughing with her, getting to know her more and more. As they grew closer, he couldn’t help but wish for more.

They had just returned from a run through the forest in their wolf forms. He loved spending time with her wolf as well. She was much smaller than him, with silver fur and grey eyes that saw right through him. Her wolf self was much more open and playful, often pulling him to play or run through the forest. His wolf was enamored with her, yelling out offers to feed her or provide her with pups… or both. Her wolf was in hearty agreement, only to be silenced by Alyssa, who still seemed somewhat uncomfortable about the whole situation.

Lewis was happy. He hoped she would continue to stay with the pack… stay with him. He just wasn’t sure how long that would last. Fortunately she seemed completely unconcerned about how much time she took off the bookstore.

He shifted back behind a tree, changing into his clothes stuffed nearby and staring down at the ground until he heard she was done doing the same. Stepping out of his hiding spot he grinned and offered his hand.

“Should we get something to eat?”

Alyssa took his hand without hesitation. “Sure. What should we make?” Lewis felt his heartbeat speed up at her casual use of “we”.

STEAK!

STEAK PLEASE!

Their wolves chimed in, making them both shake their heads.

“How about pasta?” He asked. Feeling the wolves’ disappointment he added “We can have meat in the sauce.

YES!

Our mate is the best!

Lewis couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Her wolf likes me at least.

“ALPHA!” Gary’s panicked voice caused him to turn, seeing the large man running towards them fully naked.

Seeing Alyssa look towards the ground, Lewis couldn’t help but growl with annoyance. “Can’t you put pants on?”

“No time.” He skidded to a halt, trying to catch his breath. “It’s your brother…”

His heart stopped.

Benjamin. Nightfang. His brother. His enemy.

“What has he done?”

Gary’s face was grim. “He’s invaded. The South Segment.”

Lewis pulled off his clothes, shifting to his wolf form.

“Are there any of our pack patrolling in the area?”

“I let Teddy and Lara take that segment… it was supposed to be our safest area…” Gary rubbed his face looking horrified. “I thought it would be okay.”

“Stay here. Protect the pack. I’ll get the young wolves.”

His silent voice projected across the entire territory.

“Everyone. We are under attack. Go to your designated areas. The Nightfang pack has definitely invaded the South Segment, but it could be a distraction. DO NOT LET DOWN YOUR GUARD! Watch each others’ backs. I’m going after Teddy and Lara who were last seen in the attacked area. Listen to the Beta while I’m gone."

He hesitated mentally, continuing to run as fast as possible to the south segment, and then reached out privately to Alyssa.

“Please keep yourself safe. If you want to fight I won’t stop you, stay near Gary. If you want to stay out of the fight, go hide in the house with my mom. The pack is instructed to guard it. “

“I… “ He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

TELL OUR MATE YOU LOVE HER!

He wanted to. He wanted to express the thoughts, the emotions that had slowly sprouted within him in the time they had spent together. To say everything he had wanted to say when he was by her side.

But he couldn’t.

We’re not strong. We can barely protect our pack. She won’t want us. She doesn’t trust us yet.

He reached out for what he hoped wouldn’t be the last time to his beloved mate.

“Stay safe.”

With that, he continued towards the south sector.

Calling out for Teddy and Lara as he neared the attacked area, Lewis wasn’t getting any answers. He tried not to think too hard about what that could mean.

They might just be unconscious… they might not be… His wolf trailed off, hesitating.

I don’t know what Ben… what Nightfang is capable of. He might kill them. But if there is a chance they are still alive… we have to try.

He slowed down, his paws silently stepping on the soft earth. He stayed on high alert, listening for any possible signs of the intruders.

Don’t let your guard down. Someone is close. His wolf could feel the intrusion on the Packs’ territory, it bothered him.

There, in the clearing! Lewis spotted two small wolf forms laying still on the ground. Praying they were just knocked out, he crouched down and inched closer.

They were breathing.

He let out a silent sigh of relief. Scouting around, there were at least two from the NightFang pack in the clearing with the pups.

Only two.

Where’s the rest of that bastard’s pack?! Where’s Ben? His wolf snarled within him.

It’s a distraction.He had known there was a possibility. But he couldn’t leave the two young wolves for dead. He couldn’t.

And Nightfang knew that.

Let’s save them quickly and head straight back. Hopefully Gary will keep things together until we return.

I miss our mate. I hope she’s okay.

… Me too.

Lewis attacked from the shadows. Normally he would owe them a noise, some sort of warning of his approach. He should give them the chance to surrender. To run away.

He didn’t warn them. They had invaded his pack’s territory. Kidnapped and attacked their young wolves. They knew the consequences.

One wolf screamed in pain and fear as his hamstring was shredded between Lewis’ teeth. He shifted in his confusion and shock, the bloody mess even worse in human form. Lewis had already turned to the next one.

He snapped at the enemy’s flank, and as the wolf dodged to avoid his teeth, used his much heavier muscle mass to push him to the ground. He grabbed his throat, resting his canines against the carotid pulse. The wolf grew still, not wanting to push him into ending his life.

“SPEAK! What is that traitor’s plan?”

The wolf whined at his mental command, but stayed silent. Lewis began closing his jaw. We don’t have time for this. The pack is in danger. Our mate is in danger.

“He’s attacking from the West!” Sensing death close by, the wolf began to mindspeak. “He wants to wipe out your pack while you’re distracted.”

Lewis opened his jaw slightly, considering his options. If I let him go he could warn the others.

Kill him.

He surrendered.

The pack must be protected.

Let me knock him out.

“Weakling.” A snarl came behind him, and he realized it was the man whose hamstring he had torn out. Swinging a metal bar at his head. At the same time, the wolf he had pinned bucked with teeth bared, trying to throw him off and attack.

Lewis dodged, clamping down his teeth as he moved, tearing the carotid and jugular with the sharp points of his teeth. He let go, tasting blood, knowing that the wolf beneath him was dead.

One left.

Before the attacker could say anything, Lewis jumped, fangs bared, and tore his throat out as well.

We did it.

He nudged Lara, the older of the two wolves, relieved when she woke up right away.

“Grab your brother and go to the main house.” His tone didn’t allow room for argument. She nodded silently, shaking awake her brother, and the two ran into the forest.

Lewis couldn’t help but chastise himself as he watched them move away. I hesitated.

You’re our kind half. I am the viciousness we hold, the killer instinct.

I’m weak.

We have to have both, or we’ll either be a tyrant killer or a ineffective Alpha. Now stop having a personal crisis and go SAVE OUR MATE.

Lewis nodded grimly, padding off into the forest towards where he could sense the pack.

It’s time to end this.

He ran into more enemy wolves as he neared the center of his territory. This time he sighed, giving up control to his wolf. His wolf seemed relieved at taking over, fighting both enemies to severe injury or death before moving forward.

Mate. He picked up the pace.

________________________

Alyssa had never been in a fight before. At least not with other wolves.

Don’t worry, I got this. Her wolf took over and leapt at the nearest attacker. Gary and Bridget were to either side of her, their much larger wolves defending her flank.

“There’s a lot of them, but I think we’ve got control.” Gary communicated calmly, his frantic attacks never slowing.

“They seem disorganized. “ Bridgett’s silent voice conveyed her disapproval. “Did they come here just to die?”

As her wolf continued to fight, leaping nimbly in between the snarling wolves, Alyssa studied her surroundings.

This is too easy. They’re injured… starving… what have they been doing in their territory?

Her wolf had no sympathy. Bad alphas make bad packs.

She looked around in the chaos. Everywhere she looked wolves were snapping at each other. Blood stained the cold ground, trampled into the dirt churning it into mud. Howls and whines of pain filled the air.

“I don’t see him.” She communicated to the other pack members.

“Who”? Gary trampled his enemy into the mud, his jaw locking on the throat of the other wolf. “Lewis?”

“No. Benjamin. I don’t sense an alpha in this group. Shouldn’t he be larger or stronger than the rest? Where is he?”

“Maybe the Southern Sector? An alpha fight?”

“No.” Alyssa’s mind was racing. “He doesn’t seem like the type to respect Lewis enough to fight him head on. 64% of the stories show the villain attempting some sort of sneak attack. The South Sector was a distraction… and so is this. They sent their weaker, injured members to fight us.”

That means….

She took off for the main house.

Alyssa! Bridgett called out. Where are you going?

To where the real fight is.

She crashed into the house, skidding to a halt at the sight of Lewis and his mother.

No… it’s not Lewis.Their faces were very similar, but everything else was wrong: his scent, his expression, his posture.

He smells dangerous… aggressive… Her wolf complained. He’s everything our mate isn’t.

I don’t like him.

Me either… he’s scary.

We should be careful.

She kept a defensive posture, her hackles raised, her teeth bared.

Benjamin looked down at her with a mocking smile. “Ah. The princess is here.”

His mother glared at him, holding a gun in her hand. To Alyssa’s shock there were already two large wolf bodies on the floor, cooling blood spilling from multiple bullet wounds. “Don’t you look at her, Ben! You came here for me.”

“It’s Nightfang now, Mother.” Ben laughed. “And you can’t tell me what to do. Not anymore. You lost that right when you betrayed me to side with my weak brother.”

Alyssa advanced closer.

“Oh don’t give her that crap, Benjamin. You might pretend to be mysterious and evil but you’re just pathetic. You aren’t Nightfang, or Eveningclaw or even Morning-freaking-wood. You are Ben. A bitter little boy who is mad at his mommy and daddy for giving the pack to your brother.” She kept her gaze on his, and his green eyes had trouble continuing to look into her own. “Never understanding why they made the choice, even though it’s obvious to anyone else.”

“Oh really?”

“I’ve only known you for a single minute and I wouldn’t trust you to be in charge of a self-cleaning litter box, much less actual people’s lives. “

“Well, well, Princess. That’s just needlessly cruel. Trying to rile me up? Distract me?” He shook his head sadly. “That only works in stories. It’s true that I’m very disappointed in my parents’ choice. They thought I was too violent to lead. That I didn’t care enough about the pack. But I did. I’m the only one who does.”

“Sure.” She circled around, spotting one of her bags close to the wall.

“Be careful, Alyssa.” Lewis’s Mom called out, still pointing her gun at her own son. “He’s dangerous.”

“You used up all your shots in the initial attack, Mom. Don’t embarrass yourself by pretending it’s still a threat.” Benjamin reached out and took the gun from her. “I forgive you for killing my men. But you should some respect when addressing her.”

“What are you…?” She looked over at Alyssa, who stayed silent.

“You didn’t tell them? ...Interesting.” He rubbed his face, a mocking grin starting to form. “Maybe you don’t even know?”

“Shut up. “ Alyssa leapt forward, reaching for his throat. Throwing himself backwards, Benjamin shifted as he moved. At the change she miscalculated, slamming into the much larger wolf, her teeth closing on only the fur around his neck.

“You want to fight? I’ll fight.” His wolf charged, snapping at her flank while she twisted desperately to avoid him. He was larger, stronger… but she was definitely more agile.

This isn’t a winning strategy. We can’t face him head on. Her wolf was directing the movements, keeping them alive from moment to moment as Benjamin pressed the attack.

I know that… Circle around towards the back of the room. I have an idea.

They growled, running in and taking a small chunk out of his foreleg before darting in the direction Alyssa had spotted earlier. Benjamin howled in pain, slamming her with his weight, throwing her smaller form enough to slam her against the wall. At the impact she shifted, turning into her more vulnerable form.

I don’t like this. We’re easier to kill this way.

“Not excited about being naked either, but it’s necessary.” She muttered, her hands working quickly.

“He should have protected you better than this.” Benjamin laughed silently in her head. “He didn’t even realize what a treasure he had.”

SLAM!

A grey form jumped through the air, landing on Benjamin and knocking him to the ground. As they straightened up Alyssa recognized her mate with a sense of terror and relief. Relief that he was here. Terror that he was now in danger.

The two alpha wolves circled each other.

“You should have just found your own territory.” Lewis silent voice was grim, full of his authority as Alpha. “Even with your treachery, I was willing to let you go.”

“That’s because you’re weak. This is MY territory. MY pack. You are the one who has to die. And as for your lovely mate who you know so little about… how about I take her too?”

He sighed at his brother’s words. “You’re forcing me to kill you.”

“Lewis, push him my way!” Alyssa called out silently through their connection.

“That’ll put you in danger!”

“Trust me!”

Lewis ducked his head, the almost submissive posture throwing his brother into confusion. As Benjamin hesitated, Lewis charged forward, aiming not for his throat or other vulnerable points, but at his feet. Throwing all his weight behind it, Lewis tripped him up, pushing him back- straight towards Alyssa.

“Here you go! Be careful!”

“Thanks!”

“You just put your mate in harm’s way! She’s defenseless!” He snarled, turning his attention to Alyssa’s vulnerable state. “Fool!”

BZZZT

His form seized for a brief moment and collapsed to the ground,

“Nope!” Alyssa grinned and held up her Taser. “He just trusts his mate!”

“…”

“…”

There was a brief stunned silence.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Lewis’ mother leaned against the counter, looking relieved.

“Just one more thing.” Alyssa held up a finger. Reaching down, she grabbed her overly loaded suitcase filled with her research books.

BAM! And raised it over her head, slamming it down on top of Benjamin.

“Oof.” Both Lewis and his mother winced, but made no move to stop her.

“That’s for attacking me. Not to mention what you’ve done to Lewis!” She then reached down and pulled an ampule out of one of the pockets, stabbing Benjamin in the arm with it.

“What is that?”

“Tranquilizer.” She answered, making sure the drug injected okay.

“It’s very effective.” Lewis laughed silently in their heads, and then slowly shifting back to his human form. His green eyes met her own, and neither looked away for a long a moment.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you alright?”

They asked at the same time. Alyssa smelled his blood and panicking, ran over to look at him closely. “Where are you hurt?”

She grabbed his arm, finding a small cut there, and continued to look at his limbs.

Lewis froze. “Umm… Could we do this with clothing on?”

“…” Alyssa stepped back, rubbing her forehead as she realized that they were both naked and she had been feeling him over. “…Sure.”

“…Well” Lewis’s mother broke the silence with an awkward cough. “I’m going to go see to the pack. You two… talk.” She gave them a thumbs up and slipped out.

THIS IS A PERFECT CHANCE TO DISPLAY YOUR GENITALS! WHY DID YOU RUIN IT!Lewis’ wolf spoke up, frustrated.

“That’s not even a wolf mating ritual.” Lewis hissed. “Will you leave it alone?!”

Don’t worry! Her wolf chimed in. We don’t think you’re impotent anymore!

“See…”

So we should just get straight to the mating!

AGREE!

Lewis and Alyssa sighed slightly at their wolves’ excitement, and looked down at Benjamin, still unconscious on the floor.

“What do we do to him?” She asked, feeling tired.

“Do you still have some of those chains?” Taking the object she handed to him, Lewis bound the now human form of his brother, sneaking in a single kick in the process. “We’ll send him to the Council. He’s broken every law that I know of.”

“… You know in all the stories where he’s not killed the villain escapes and causes trouble again.”

Lewis sighed at that. “I know it would be safer to kill him. But… I…” He trailed off, looking conflicted.

“It’s okay.” She patted his arm, avoiding the injury she found before. “If you were able to kill him so easily you wouldn’t be you.”

“I worry sometimes that I’m too weak to be an Alpha.”

“I know. And I’m sure there’s probably some perfect balance of strength and mercy… but you don’t have to have everything figured out right away.”

“…thanks.”

She shrugged. “Besides, isn’t your sister still out there? Maybe the council can use Benjamin to figure out where she is.”

After handing Benjamin off to Gary and Bridgett to guard (And having them both fuss over Alyssa to make sure she was okay) the two went back to their rooms to change. Alyssa stared at the wall of her temporary bedroom, feeling conflicted.

He’s our mate. He’ll understand.

“I know. And that’s what scares me.”

Finishing her brief hesitation, she walked over to Lewis’ room, knocking on the door.

“Come in.”

“We need to talk.”

________________________

Lewis was extremely nervous as he waved his mate to sit down on the bed. He took the chair on the other side of the room.

What if she doesn’t want to stay?

She’s our mate! His wolf answered his nervous thoughts. She won’t abandon us!

“I don’t know what you told him, but your wolf is right.” Alyssa spoke up. “We won’t abandon you. Not over something silly like your evil twin brother trying to invade and kill us all.”

Lewis let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s a relief.” He leaned back in his chair. “So what do you want to talk to me about?”

She stared at the ground a few moments before painfully continuing. “So I told you I grew up in the foster system, right?”

“Right.”

“So the part I didn’t tell you… is that a few years back, around the time I turned 18… a weird guy came and found me.”

Lewis growled. “Did he try to hurt you?”

“No. Quite the opposite. He said he was a friend of my family. He wasn’t one of us… definitely human.” She ran her fingers through her hair, obviously unhappy. “He wouldn’t tell me who they were, or why they abandoned me. He just said they had no choice.”

“That’s crap. I don’t know their situation but their only option was to abandon a baby?” HE shook his head. “Something’s off.”

“I thought so too. I told him to get lost.” She hesitated. “And he gave me a million dollars.”

“What…?

“He said it was a small gift from my parents. I don’t know who my family is, or what they were involved in, but it’s probably big… and definitely not good.”

Lewis processed this for a few moments. “So your job at the bookstore?”

“I actually own it. But I have a manager run it. I stop by occasionally and shelve books while I look for new research.”

“So…” He grinned. “Does this mean you can stay longer and not worry about losing your job?”

“…”

“… Is that what you’re thinking about?” Alyssa demanded, her hands twisting in the fabric of her t-shirt. “You’re not worried about unknown schemes, powerful families… who knows what nonsense could happen! I swear, haven’t you ever read one of these novels?!”

Lewis picked up the book on the table nearby. “I started reading through a few at your suggestion.

“The Seductive Alpha’s bride?” She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“It’s research! I’m trying to learn how to be a better mate!”

He’s hoping to learn how to make himself more attractive! His wolf added.

We already think you’re both attractive!

Great! Let’s mate then!

Agree!

“Not yet!” Alyssa stepped in as their wolves got carried away once more. “Although she’s right… we do think you’re attractive…”

“Really?”

“But how about we go slow… like a date, first?”

“A date!” Lewis jumped up, his mind racing. “Yes! Let me grab my car…”

“We were just attacked… remember?”

He stopped at her gentle reminder. “Oh. Right. How about after we get things sorted out?”

She smiled, the expression causing his heart to race.

“I’d like that.”

They fell into a comfortable silence.

“So how accurate has your research been so far?” He asked after a while, curious.

“The books?” She thought it over. “You know, considering the Alphas and the relationships I’ve read about?” She looked him over again. “I’d say I was a little surprised.”

“In a good way?” His tone was hopeful, he couldn’t help it.

“Yes. As for the future though?” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “The majority of these stories have a happy ending. But we’ll just have to see.”

Lewis touched the spot that had been kissed, smiling. “A happy ending, huh? I’d like that.”

#writing #werewolf story #werewolves #alphas #mates #couple #i do know that the alpha structure isn't really natural to wolves in the wild #but it's the convention of the story type #I tried to write within the tropes of a werewolf romance but with my own types of characters #it was a fun experiment #I'll answer Asks later

[heliads]

How to Move On

Based on this request: “A ghost!Luke Patterson x alive!reader but she is older. Like in the 90s they were but then he died and she got older. An angst story please :)”

masterlist

When he was alive, Luke Patterson lived five houses down from one of the cutest girls he’d ever seen. It still surprises him that he has to tack on that first part to describe anything that happened in his life before, like if he shuts his eyes hard enough he’ll find himself back in the 90s, when he had a pulse and a heartbeat and people could see him if he walked out onto the street.

However, an unseen blade cuts a little too deep whenever he thinks about his current situation, so Luke allows himself to fall deeper into the memory instead of returning back to reality. She’d lived five houses down, right? Or was it four? Luke has hardly been brought back as a ghost for a few weeks before he’s started losing his grasp on the details that bound his life. They’re all slipping through his fingertips, gone now in recollection as well as his ability to return to them in person.

Yes, five houses down- he’s certain of it now. Whenever he wanted to sneak out of his house to go visit her, Luke had to climb out of his window and weave through two backyards before he could risk returning to the sidewalk for another three houses. Five houses down, that’s right. Luke curses himself mentally, not wanting to forget another detail. He’s already lost the girl, he doesn’t want to lose the few figments of her in his memory. A ghost of her for the ghost he already is.

If he managed to sneak out of his house and make it down five houses, as he so often did, Luke could then toss small pebbles at one moonlit window. It usually only took two or three of these interactions before the window would be hurriedly unlatched, a beaming face peering out at him. Luke would allow himself a second of staring, admiring the way the moonlight cast the girl in a bone-white halo, then haul himself up into the room.

From the second his feet touched down on the bedroom floor, Luke would be in safe territory. He still took precautions, of course, keeping his voice down and his movements quiet. However, Y/N L/N always seemed to have a secret oasis in the form of her room, and he was never once caught. They both made sure of it, and if he and Y/N worked together, they could achieve any goal so long as it was worth it.

Y/N L/N. She was the one he’d left behind, one of the aches that hurt the most. He’d been lucky enough to win her love, either through some complete misunderstanding or maybe the fact that he’d finally done something right in his life, but he had her nonetheless. Or, he’d had her until the day he’d died, leaving behind nothing in his wake but grieving parents and the girl he’d sworn to stay with for the rest of his life. Well, his promise had come true in one sense, although Luke can’t help but wish there was another way around it.

To be completely honest, even as Luke dreads forgetting any detail of his past girl, he might fear thinking about her even more. It’s not that he wants to lose the picture of her smile in his head, or the way she’d reach for him when she was cold, it’s just that to think of her in any sense is like a knife stabbing him through the ribs, reminding him that he’ll never get her back. If he tries to push her from his mind, he won’t remember the way she’ll never be with him again. Isn’t that better?

Luke already knows the answer: no, not at all. Even this one slip in his memory, the faltering knowledge of how far apart their houses were, sends a jolt of worry spiking through him. Luke wouldn’t consider himself forgetful, maybe just a little absentminded, but the fact that he’s already starting to forget his past life worries him. However, to keep Y/N’s picture cherished in his mind means reminding himself of everything that he’d lost, of finally confronting all the memories he’s been holding back for so long.

Eventually, Luke finds himself in the studio, searching through the boxes and crates of stuff that had eventually made its way into dusty corners and spiderwebbed cracks of the room. Julie’s mom had been kind enough to keep at least some of Sunset Curve’s possessions, and so Luke ransacks these sparse belongings now. At last, his hand emerges triumphant, carrying with it an old photo album. It’s thin, spine scarcely thicker than a small paperback, but for the way he looks at it its pages could be lined with gold.

Luke pauses a second, steeling himself before flipping open the front cover. Instantly, he’s hit with a wave of memories. These first few photos had been taken a year or so before he died, when he had first started dating Y/N and everything seemed like he was living a dream. There are Polaroids from their first few dates, snapshots of festivals and boardwalks and everything a couple of teenagers could afford when they were young and stupidly in love.

Luke studies these, then the next couple of pages, and then the next. He must have been more distracted than he’d first thought, because he doesn’t notice Julie Molina enter the studio until she’s practically standing on top of him. Julie clears his throat, and he startles, doing his best to quickly close the album. For some reason, it doesn’t feel quite right to so openly share his memories of Y/N to anyone within eyesight.

“Sorry, didn’t see you there. Are we practicing?” Luke asks. Julie laughs, her smile a tad incredulous. “Not yet, but I’m a little worried as to why you were so quick to hide that book. What, are you trying to keep secrets from me?” Her eyes assure him that this question is purely an excuse to tease him, but Luke can’t find it within himself to smile back. Instead, he sits back down on the floor of the studio, gesturing listlessly to the empty space next to him.

“Not entirely. It’s just- well, I found this old photo album, and it’s kind of hard to not regret leaving everything behind. The current day is good, don’t get me wrong, and I love the band, but-” Julie picks up on his train of thought even as Luke’s voice trails off. “It’s not what you’re used to, and you feel bad about everything you could have had. I get it. I’m surprised you’ve adjusted so well, to be honest. It can’t be easy to leave your entire life behind.”

Luke lets out a quiet sigh. “Exactly.” After a moment’s consideration, he picks up the photo album again, opening the cover and passing it to Julie. She accepts it, glancing at him one last time to make sure he’s alright with baring his soul to her. A soft smile traces its way onto her face as she sees the photos of him and Y/N, grins so bright they could practically light up the world. “Who is this?”

Her finger lingers over a photo Luke had taken of Y/N. She had been wearing a Sunset Curve shirt, one of their first attempts at a logo. They’d long since changed the design, but she had said something about how her boys were so official and taken the first draft t-shirt nonetheless. Y/N had worn it to many shows since then, until the design faded into nothingness and she’d been forced to get a new one. Luke’s voice softens. “That’s Y/N. She is- she was my girlfriend. Back in the 90s, at least.”

Luke hates the way he has to say that, like she’s died instead of him. She was his girlfriend, they had known each other, they are each utterly different now and there is no getting back what they’d once had. Julie glances over at him, sympathy radiating from her gaze, but then she turns back to the photo, frowning over it in something that almost looks like recognition. “Wait, you said her name was Y/N? Like Y/N L/N?”

Luke sits bolt upright, melancholy thoughts completely forgotten. “Yes! How did you know that? Do you know her?” Julie’s excitement starts to bleed away from her, as if she knows something that ruins the dream she had been so thrilled to share. “Well, yes, but she’s not Y/N L/N anymore. She has a different last name now.” Luke picks up on what Julie is unwilling to say, and his stomach sinks a little. She has a different last name because she’s married, because she’s moved on.

Even as he thinks this, Luke feels annoyed at himself. Of course she’s moved on- he died 25 years ago. There’s no reason she would never love again, and even if she did, Luke would never want that for her. She was so bright, so happy, that the thought of herself locked away in mournful grief like his parents seems so utterly wrong that if that happened she might as well have died with him. Still, Luke doesn’t like thinking that there’s someone else out there receiving her smiles, hearing her hopes and dreams late at night the way he had once listened to her.

Luke must have gone silent for too long, because Julie is looking over at him again, pity written in every line of her face. She thinks for a second longer, then stands up, holding out her hand to him. “She still lives near here, actually. A few streets down. Do you want to go see her?” Luke stares at her, then rushes to his feet. “You mean it? You know where she is?” Julie nods. “Only if you’re willing to see her.” She’s right to worry- seeing Y/N again will mean finally coming to terms with everything Luke had left behind when he’d died, a final piece of proof that Y/N will never be his again. Still, if he hides away from her again, Luke will spend the rest of his ghosthood wondering what she might have been like and who she may have become. So, he nods, and allows Julie to lead him from the studio and down the blocks to Y/N’s house.

Even without Julie’s directions, Luke would know their destination even before she points out Y/N’s front door. He sees her in every corner of the building, every flower and tree planted in the yard. She’d always wanted a brightly painted front door, tall trees in the backyard so she could have a little shade on the summer days. They’d once planned what their future houses would look like, always choosing one for the two of them. If Luke sees traces of his ideas in her house now, does that mean Y/N still thinks of him? Or that she’s already forgotten that it was his voice suggesting those changes and not her own, that he’s already faded into the last few corners of her memory?

His feet stall in the driveway, but at an encouraging look from Julie, Luke forces himself to walk up the final few feet to stop in front of the front door. He reaches forward and rings the doorbell himself, although he can do no more once the door swings open. This will be Julie’s part- Luke can do no more than watch the woman in front of him with wide eyes.

She still looks like her. Is that a strange thing to say? She’s taller now, her face more lined and weary as if she’s had a lifetime of problems to deal with ever since Luke left her days. It makes sense that she looks older- the last time Luke saw her was 25 years ago, so she’s probably in her forties now. Still, there are traces of the girl he’d known in every movement, every step. When she looks questioningly at Julie, Luke can see the way she’d looked at him to ask when and where Sunset Curve would be performing so she could make sure to arrive on time. The gesture is so truthfully her that it practically hurts to see.

Julie’s eyes dart to Luke, as if trying to gauge his reaction, then she focuses her gaze firmly on Y/N. “I, uh, was cleaning out my mom’s old studio. I found something from the band who used to practice there- they went by the name of Sunset Curve? Your name was on one of the photos.” It’s a duplicate photo strip from a photo booth on a long-since demolished boardwalk, an excuse for the visit. Still, it’s enough to make Y/N’s eyes widen, and she looks at Julie as if she’s punched a hole right through her chest.

She gestures for Julie to follow her inside. Luke drifts in after them, staring at the photos lining the walls, the backpacks flung in a corner of the room. So she has children, a family. How long had it taken her to move on from him? She smiles in every family portrait he sees, but did she ever think about the boy she’d left behind? Would it matter that much to him if she did?

Julie hands Y/N the photo strip now, and tears glisten in the woman’s eyes as she looks at herself and Luke, decades younger and what feels like centuries happier. Julie, thank everything, is unwilling to let Y/N leave without asking her about the boy she’d left behind. “Did you know him well? The boy in the photos?” Y/N glances up sharply at Julie, startling as if she’d forgotten there was a girl in front of her, too drowned in the memories of the past to remember reality. It’s a familiar feeling to Luke, and it stings to see it on this older Y/N too.

“Yes, I did. Very well, in fact. I loved him with all of my heart until he died along with his bandmates.” She laughs quietly, the sound broken through with utter misery. It twists Luke’s heart like a blade. “I almost didn’t make it through the funeral. I was sitting next to his parents, and we were sobbing like we’d never smile again. He was everything to me, and I had no idea what to do when he was gone. I wish you could have met him- he was always so quick to a smile or a laugh. I never told him how much I liked his smile. I wish I had.”

Luke stumbles as if he’s been punched. Tears are pricking at his eyes, and he swipes at them angrily with his shirt sleeve. Why should he have to cry now, mourn everything he’d lost? Hasn’t he been through enough? Y/N swallows harshly. “It’s easy to get lost in the past. I graduated high school without him, went to college without him. I didn’t think I’d ever have to live a day without him, and suddenly I had an entire future completely empty of anyone like him. There are days when I almost think I see him in a crowd, and days when it gets easier. In the end, I think he’d want me to move forward, even as hard as that may be.”

Julie glances over at Luke once more, scarcely a second away from tears herself. “Yeah, I think he’d want you to be happy. That above all else.” Y/N sighs, the sound cutting through Luke and almost sending him to the floor. “Thank you for the photos, Julie. You take care of yourself.” Julie smiles. “I will. Thank you too.” Luke, sensing the imminent goodbye, takes one last furtive glance around the house. What if he had been there, present in every family photo and every line in her journals? He wishes nothing more than to have that option, to be able to go back, but he can’t.

So, he allows himself to follow Julie back out into the sunshine of the afternoon, and when the door closes softly behind him, he doesn’t look back. Julie is silent on the walk back, as is he. Luke heads for the studio, and he stops before the photo album before glancing up at the walls around him. If he tries hard enough, Luke thinks he can see her in every corner of the studio. There she is on the couch, laughing as she pretends to smack him with a pillow. There she is next to him on the piano, listening to his latest song. There are hundreds of her in the studio, hundreds of memories. That’s all he has left of her. Just memories and nothing more.

Julie returns to find him later, and it doesn’t take long for her eyes to cut across the room, landing on the photo newly pinned to the wall. There are two figures in it, a boy and a girl grinning madly as they reach for each other in a dusky night. Both of them are long gone now, dead and aged even as their photo-selves smile on. If Luke looks back at the photo now, keeping that image burned into his mind, he never speaks of it again.

requested by @charliegillespiewife​

jatp tag list: someone who i would not leave behind if i died in the 90s @underc0vercryptid​

#luke patterson #luke patterson imagines #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson oneshot #jatp #jatp imagines #jatp oneshot #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms imagines #julie and the phantoms oneshot #jatp luke #jatp luke imagines #jatp luke x reader #jatp luke oneshot #julie and the phantoms luke #julie and the phantoms luke imagines #julie and the phantoms luke x reader #julie and the phantoms luke oneshot

[whisperlullaby]

Just Say It And I’m Yours-Ch.1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Language, stalking ish themes

Words: 1490

Summary: Steve is considering retiring from being Captain America. He doesn’t remember why he took the shield or what it means for him anymore. Then he met you. 

A/N: First and foremost I am SO SORRY FOR BEING SO SHIT AT SUMMARIES. I just don’t want to give anything away. Second, this is my first series! So like, comment, reblog, let me know you want to see more of this. This story is going to start in Steve’s perspective and switch to the readers. I’ll let you guys know when the POV is shifting so no worries. So, this first chapter is told through Steve. Third, if I missed any warnings please let me know. Last but most CERTAINTLY not least, a very VERY special thanks to @river-soul​ for reading through this and assuring me it was a good first chapter. I am so grateful for you. Let me know what you think! (Gif by @navybrat817 )

“Steve, she's getting married tomorrow,” Bucky solemnly states as he puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “If you’re going to do something you better do it soon.” 

“I know Buck, but what could I say to her? I haven’t been able to tell her how I feel about her for years.” Steve looked out over the lake, his eyes pricking with tears. “She made her decision.” 

“You’re an idiot. You’ve been in love with her since you first saw her. If you don’t tell her, she’s going to make the biggest mistake of her life. We both know that,” Bucky sighed, raking a hand over his face. “I know she loves you. You need to talk to her. She can’t marry him Steve, you know the second she does she’ll be gone forever. The person you knew reduced to, whatever this shell of a person is.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck and looked down where the water was gently lapping against the shore. After a few moments, he heard Bucky make his way back to the lodge. As the small waves ebbed and flowed against the shallow shore Steve thought about you and how he was an absolute coward back when you were a big part of his life. 

One and a half years ago

Steve was sketching at Marine Park in Brooklyn during golden hour when everything seemed to glow. He needed a break from his Captain America responsibilities and every time he put his charcoal to the paper everything seemed to melt away. The world was vastly different since he came out of the ice and he felt his heart swell thinking about all the fights he had to endure in order to restore some semblance of peace in the universe. He was happy that he had his best friend back, cleared of the mind control Hydra put in him and he made so many new friends and a family in The Avengers. Yet, as he drew out the skyline on the thick white paper, he couldn’t help but feel like he was still missing something. He knew he needed a break from his duties to figure it out constantly being pulled into a fight was a great distraction, but he knew he needed to figure out what brought meaning to his life. The decision to take time off gnawed at Steve like a dog to a bone, who was he if he wasn’t Captain America?

Steve heard you before he saw you, picking up the fierce tone you were using made him glad he wasn’t on the receiving end of your reprimand. Steve looked up to see you wedged in between a woman and her dog and a man probably twice your size towering over you, trying to be intimidating. The fact you stepped forward refusing to back down made Steve smile, oddly fond of your bravery. The commotion you were making drew a small crowd and Steve felt a strange pull to join the group to be close to you. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are? Following this poor woman around like a stalker,” You yelled, poking your finger in his chest. “Did you think she was being coy when she told you to stop following her? Was that some deranged invitation to keep on top of her the rest of the world is unaware of?”

Steve could tell that you were not about to back down as you protected the other woman. The fire in your eyes was something Steve was familiar with in himself before he went into the ice. He noticed the man ball his hands into fists and before you could react he had pulled back to hit you. Steve jumped in and caught the punch, inches from your face.

“You’re gonna want to walk away pal before you make things worse for yourself.” 

Steve’s voice was low in warning. When he glanced over at you, you looked up at him almost offended that he had stepped in. Before Steve could say anything you returned your gaze to the other man and swiftly kneed him in the balls. 

“Stop following women you fucking asshole,” you admonished as the man crumpled to the ground in pain. “I know you probably have a hard time listening to women when they say no because there is just a bunch of empty space where your brain is supposed to be, but maybe take this as a warning.” 

Steve watched you slack jawed as you flagged down a police officer to give a statement to. He observed you as you spoke with the other woman, who was visibly shaken by the incident, with such genuine concern and kindness. He couldn’t stop looking at you as you soothed her with gentle touches and quiet whispers. Steve waited for his turn to speak with the officers regarding the incident, after which the man was taken into custody. When Steve turned around you were walking towards him. 

“Umm thanks for catching the punch,” you said with a shrug. “I could have taken him though.” 

Steve let out a soft chuckle. 

“Well I wouldn’t be much of a superhero if I stood around and let a civilian get clocked for defending someone.”

You cocked your eyebrow at him and crossed your arms. 

“Yeah but you’re not in the suit, which means you’re off duty. Either way I’m grateful, I have a job interview tomorrow and can’t really show up with a black eye. It wouldn’t really say ‘hire me I’m even tempered and have a keen ability to moderate conflict in a calm respectful manner.’ ”

Steve smiled, letting out a sigh as he cast his eyes to the ground.

 “Oh sweetheart I’m always on duty, comes with the territory.” 

He looked up to see you watching him with kindness and understanding.

“I’m sure that must be a very heavy burden to carry,” You sighed. “I hope you can take a vacation or something soon. It looks like you might need one.”

To say Steve was enamored by you would be the understatement of the century. In the brief time he had spent with you, he had noticed that you were fierce, kind, honest, compassionate, and absolutely stunning. He found himself physically having to shake his head to keep from staring at you.

“I’m Steve,” he blurted out. “I feel like you already know that though. It was really nice of you to say that. Sometimes I only see myself as Captain America, no vacation days in sight.” 

Steve chuckled as you rolled your eyes at him.

“Y/N, and I mean it. You shouldn’t feel like you’re always on duty.”  

You pointed your finger at his chest.

“Besides, I’m a tough girl, I can handle myself. You should trust people a bit more Rogers.” 

You gave Steve a cheeky grin and started walking away.

Steve scrambled to follow you, not ready to have your conversation end.

“So, job interview? What do you do?” 

Steve easily kept your stride. When you chuckled Steve swore his heart skipped a beat.

“Would you believe I’m a victim advocate? I have an interview with the state prosecutor. I make sure anyone who has experienced trauma of any sort is represented and protected during court cases and criminal trials,” you stated proudly. 

“After what I just witnessed, I would have been more surprised if you told me you were an accountant.” Steve joked. “Would it be okay if I walked you wherever you’re going? I know you can handle yourself but I’d like to make sure you don’t leave a trail of broken men in your wake.”

You snorted out laughter. 

“Yeah wouldn’t want to get put away for attacking more skeezy men. That sounds great Captain, thank you.”

Steve smiled and kept asking you questions on your walk. He had this need to know everything he could about you since you blew into his life like a sunshower. When Steve got you back to your apartment the sun was just setting.

“Well Rogers, it’s been an interesting day,” you say, nonchalantly fiddling with your keys.

“I’ll say, I didn’t think my day would consist of watching someone stand up for another woman who almost got punched, then kneeing the guy in the balls.” 

Steve smiled.

“I am pleasantly surprised with the way my day turned out,” he told you.

“Well there’s a lot more where that came from if you stick with me Cap.” 

You smirked at Steve grabbing his sketchbook. 

“Here’s my number, if you ever need a little extra adventure in your life, call me,” you said. 

With that you turned the key in the lock and pushed yourself inside the apartment. Steve was left to stand staring at your closed door. He didn’t know what force drove you into his life but knowing you for those few hours made him feel more alive than he had in years.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #marvel fic #marvel #captain america x reader

[gwynrielendgame]

Gwynriel antics

Okay writing from Mor’s perspective is actually kind of difficult. There is enough ambiguity around Mor’s sexuality in the series that I try to veer away from her perspective to avoid potentially problematic content. I do think that Mor would struggle when Azriel finds his mate/significant other because he’ll no longer be paying her much attention. At least not in the way she’s used to. Anyways enjoy

The first thing Mor noticed as she entered the living room was that Azriel was in a bad mood. He was brooding, more so than normal while standing in the far corner of the room by the piano. The only person brave enough to engage him in conversation was Nesta, who looked as bitchy as usual. Mor considered consoling him, but reconsidered as his shadows seemed restless. She would never admit it to him, though she presumed he might already know, but his shadows unnerved her. They would never hurt her, but something about them reminded her of the Court of Nightmares. She felt guilty and like a bad friend. The only thought that could console her was the knowledge that no one would be able to get him out of this mood. Nesta may be brave enough to face the mood head on; however, she would never be enough to pull him out of his own mind. It had always bothered Mor that nothing she could do or say would make him feel better.

"How was you trip?" Elain asked sweetly from the couch. Her frilly, pink dress made Elain's beauty less intimidating and more approachable.

She often wondered if that was on purpose. She was the complete opposite from Mor in every way, yet Mor felt grateful to her. Grateful that she had caught and kept, at least partially, the attention of the Shadowsinger. A jealous part of Mor was glad that Elain could not, although she speculated that Elain did not want to either, pull him out of his mood. Mor sat across from Elain on the other couch, taking baby Nyx right from Feyre's lap. Feyre sent a small smile to Mor before returning to her conversation with Rhys. Her legs were tossed over his lap with their sides pressed firmly together. Mor suddenly ached for what they had. The publicity of it, the intimacy of it, and the comfort of it all was something she wanted so desperately, but felt so unattainable. Mor dropped a kiss on Nyx's forehead as he pulled at her hair before answering Elain.

"It was fine. Politics can be so dreadfully boring," she rolled her eyes as she said it. Elain nodded along as if she might understand even though they both knew she didn't. Mor bounced Nyx on her knee to keep him preoccupied.

"Do you know what is wrong?" She lowered her voice while nodding her head in the direction of Azriel. Even though he was behind her, Mor knew who Elain was referring to.

"Your guess is as good as mine." She replied with a shrug. It was almost impossible to tell. Rhysand felt the need to add in his two cents, annoyingly enough.

"Leave it be, Elain. He likes to be left alone when he's like this." Rhysand gave her a hard look that Mor did not understand. Seemingly Elain did because she turned away to stare at the fireplace with a blushing face.

"The party is officially here!" Cassian shouted as he burst through the double doors into the living room.

Gwyn and Emerie, who trailed in after Cassian, made a beeline for Nesta who was still standing next to Azriel. Not so much conversing, but standing in solidarity to their bad moods. Cassian dropped a kiss on Nesta's cheek which had Mor rolling her eyes. She would never understand what a good fae like Cassian ever saw in Nesta. Even at her best, she was miserable. Emerie eventually floated over to Mor.

"How was your trip?" She awkwardly played with the end of her braid as she stood towards the side of the couch. She was clearly struggling with where to sit now that Cassian and Nesta took up the rest of the couch Elain was sitting on.

"Peachy. Dealing with entitled males is my favorite way to spend my time." She said it in an ultra cheery voice as she held up Nyx closer to her face. She was hoping his tiny baby body would block her blush. No need to let the Illyrian female know that Mor was flustered by her attentions. Emerie sent her a brilliant smile.

"So just a normal Tuesday huh?" Mor smiled back at her before moving over. There was a small amount of space between Feyre and Mor, but Emerie's slender body could probably fit.

"Would you like to sit?" Mor motioned to the spot. Emerie hesitated for just a moment before accepting. Her side was smushed to Mor's. She would be lying if she said it didn't elicit a spark in her.

Quiet murmurings in the back of the room drew Mor's attention. As she turned around she saw the priestess, whose name was on the tip of her tongue, talking with Azriel. Brave girl is the only thought that flittered through her head. They both had serious expressions as they discussed something quietly. It was so quiet that even with her fae hearing, she could not make out what they were saying. Azriel's shadows were moving rapidly around him now, making him obvious instead of blending him in like they were meant to be doing. Mor realized that Gwyn was holding a dagger that Azriel was showing her how to handle. He corrected her arm position a few times and she practiced it. Surprisingly, the brooding expression was replaced with one of concentration. He was more focused on teaching her than with whatever he was upset with. Mor cocked her head to analyze the two further only to be called back to attention.

"Mor!" Cassian all but shouted.

"What? Yes?" She turned back to the circle she was part of to see Cassian looking at her expectantly.

"I asked you how your trip was? I haven't seen you since you have gotten back." Cassian tossed an arm around Nesta's shoulder who was in an animated conversation across the couches with Emerie about some book they had both read. Mor was distracted for a moment. What could Emerie see in Nesta as a friend?

"Same old, same old."

Elain moved to grab Nyx from Mor's lap before reclaiming her spot on the ruby colored couch. Without the baby as a buffer, Mor felt exactly how nice it was to have Emerie so close, even if she was paying more attention to Nesta than herself. Elain blew raspberries on Nyx's face when a sound caught Mor's attention once again.

"Cassian!" The priestess, whose name Mor finally remembered was Gwyn, called as she dragged Azriel by the hand to the center of the room. Mor could not stop her eyes from widening and it appeared Elain, Feyre, and Rhys couldn't either. Mor even thought she might have heard a small gasp from Elain. "Tell Azriel that I really managed to escape that knot earlier."

Gwyn's face was barely containing her excitement. When they finally stood next to the couches, Gwyn dropped his hand gently, but did not move away from him. Almost the entire room was raptured by the scene. Azriel's acceptance of her hand holding, the shadows that appeared to guard the redhead as they peered over her shoulders, and the disbelief on his face that took over from the brooding as Gwyn insisted that she accomplished her goal. Cassian laughed while shaking his head.

"She is telling the truth. She's quite crafty with those ropes." Cassian admitted. Azriel's face continued to show his disbelief as he turned his narrowed gaze to Nesta.

"If you don't believe her, I guess she'll have to show you tomorrow." Nesta shrugged. Azriel sent a look to Gwyn that Mor could not exactly decipher. It almost looked like admiration, but there was no way it could be that.

"Why wait?" Gwyn started pulling Azriel back to the doors. "I'll show you now." Azriel allowed Gwyn to tug him around like a rag-doll. Mor could not stop the giggle from escaping her lips.

"Gwyn!" Emerie whined. "You promised you would stay until we at least ate!"

"Don't let her leave, Azriel!" Nesta shrieked. "She's trying to escape. You are not as clever as you think little missy." Nesta sent one of her nastiest glares towards the two escapees. Shockingly, it only made Gwyn laugh. She turned to Azriel with a slight pout.

"Please? I know you want to see it." She taunted him.

It appeared that those in the room who had not been to training had missed quite the development because as Azriel threw his head back in laughter, Mor, Elain, Feyre, and Rhysand jaw's all dropped in shock. It appeared the priestess was able to accomplish something that none of them had been able to in all their years of knowing the Shadowsinger. She was able to retrieve him from his bad mood. The shadows that seemed so territorial over Gwyn, now rested calmly around the both of them. It surprised Mor how unaffected Gwyn was by them. The interaction was so shocking that none of them could look away.

"You can show me tomorrow." He replied quietly with a smirk. Gwyn sighed but returned to the center of the room.

"Fine, you guys win."

Nesta and Emerie beamed at each other. Even as others recuperated from the shock, Mor felt herself analyzing everything Azriel did after that. Every interaction he paid to the priestess and how that was different from his interactions with her and Elain. She paid attention to how often he laughed and how his shadows acted. All throughout dinner she tried to understand it. What Gwyn could do that Mor could not. She wanted to know for next time, so that it could be Mor that made him smile when he was upset instead of Gwyn. The ugly, jealousy feeling made no sense. But there was a part of her that did not want to share Azriel with anyone, but especially with Gwyn. It was odd how Mor did not feel the same way with Elain.

"What's wrong with your shadows?" Elain asked innocently.

It was the wrong question to ask. The neutral face he had been sporting shifted into a scowl and the shadows retreated altogether. Before he could say something, Gwyn spoke up.

"There's nothing wrong with them. They just want to play." She continued to push her food around on her plate.

"Play?" Rhysand asked with raised eyebrows. He sent a look to Az. An annoyed look, one that rarely ever showed, crossed Azriel's face.

"They are not playing." He enunciated the last word, seemingly for Gwyn's benefit. She simply rolled her eyes as if the Shadowsinger's annoyance was no skin off her back.

"You are just jealous because they like me better." She sent him a mischievous smile before humming a short tune. A traitorous shadow lunged for her. It stopped short and retreated when the tune stopped.

"Gwyn." He whined. Mor ended up choking on her food at the sound. She has never once heard the male whine for any reason. Everyone at the table sent her an amused stare except for Gwyn and Azriel who appeared to be stuck in some sort of staring competition.

"Really, you two? You're worse than Rhys and I were when we were nine." Cassian muttered.

"3 books for Azriel." Nesta piped up.

"Are you serious? No way." Emerie argued in an adorably annoyed way. "Gwyn all the way. You owe me 5 books anyways. I want new leathers."

Mor made certain to note that in the back of her head.

"What are they doing?" Elain asked. Cassian shook his head in amusement.

"Staring contest. First to blink loses."

"Why?" Elain looked amused. Actually the entire table looked amused at their antics.

"Because they are the two most stubborn Fae to have ever lived." Emerie said with a smile.

The table went extremely silent as they watched the two battle it out. Mor was intrigued to see who would win. A thud under the table was the only sound to be heard.

"No playing dirty." Azriel said without so much as an inclination that he had just been kicked.

"You pulled my hair last time."

"Because you threw a dagger at me the time before. I'd say mine was much milder."

Rhysand laughed a loud and hearty laugh that caused the two of them to blink at the exact same time. Nyx clapped his hands at the excitement.

"Hey!" Gwyn and Azriel yelled simultaneously.

"Dammit." Emerie muttered.

"I'm claiming that win." Gwyn announced with a smug smile.

"Of course you are." Az sent her a glare, but there was no malice behind it.

He did not correct her though, allowing her to claim the win. It was then and there that it hit Mor.

Azriel likes Gwyn.

He isn't in love with her. He isn't pining after her. Mor isn't even sure if he knows it himself yet. But Mor knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that he likes the priestess. The slithering jealous feeling only increased tenfold. She sighed heavily. What was wrong with her? She should be happy for her friend.

Shouldn't she?

#gwyneth berdara #gwynriel #azriel #acotar #elain archeron #morrigan #acosf #cassian #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #rhysand #nyx acotar #emerie

[flowerflamestars]

i remember that you once said something about privateer nesta could you elaborate? please? *shrek cat eyes*

WHO TOLD YOU I AM COMPLETELY VULNERABLE TO THE CAT EYES??

okay, so admittedly I don't remember the context in which I said this?? But I still SUPER super love the idea

and it matches with what we'll call the Dream ACOTAR Extended Universe Plot, almost canon.

We begin with the final battle against Hybern. Tamlin dies, closing the loop of his tragic, misspent life. Amren stays dead, a magical being on to the next adventure.

Rhysand stays dead.

He functionally (magically) threw himself on a bomb, and took the whole blast. He's not the Cauldron- and no one man could repair what it once was, but he could contain the fatal, drastic implosion of an object that was meant to endure forever, fractured into more and more peices.

Why is this important?

Because it leaves a world where Feyre Archeron- twenty-ish, romantic hero, prop, prisoner- becomes High Lady in her own, true right.

(I don't think she's necessarily good at this job, because why would she be? It's not even her fault- Feyre has no idea about how faery politics work, no real tangible knowledge of her own inherited kingdom.)

But both the men who stole her and defined her and loved her and hurt her are dead.

And it not only sets her on a journey to become, on her own, an actual character in her own life, but it galvanizes the Archeron sisters.

Feyre's basically fucking comatose after the battle. Elain has been a mess this entire time, but after that last fight with Grayson, walking into the war and stabbing a king in the throat- she is as vital and herself as Nesta has seen her in years.

Nesta just watched her father die and felt nothing- and she hates herself for it. She and Elain had taken the head of the man who stole everything from them- and she doesn't have a single regret.

Feyre screamed until she could no longer- there's so much magic seething out her it hurts to look at-

There's a dark well inside herself that could rise. But why should Nesta let it? So what, if she doesn't mourn her father? He'd never cared about her and Elain- not when they were young, too busy and important to even speak to his own children. Not when they lost everything, and he'd tried one last time to sell them both into marriages to recoup the family loss. Not after, in the starving cold, no matter what she'd tried to force him into action.

Nesta had been mourning all along a human girls human life- what is an absent, neglectful, shitty in the most ordinary of ways human parent if not a part of that lost future?

Their sister owns a fucking country- their sister is, at this minute so hemmed in by her followers no one can see her, much less comfort her- there's a war camp falling apart around them- there's Nesta, Elain, and Azriel, unhurt, upright, alive.

(she does not let herself think that an hour before she'd been ready to die and thought it right, the ending the meant to be conclusion of her story. she does not think about how she'd wished Cassian healed beneath her hands and that he had healed, that she'd wept to learn she could do more than destroy.

that she'd still been weeping, her mouth bright with his blood, when he'd pulled away, dragged himself to Morrigan's waiting arms)

Nesta Archeron is alive. Her sisters are alive. They're free, and she'll be fucking damned if this all falls apart before Feyre can heal.

Nesta turns to Azriel and asks if he can take control of the legions.

She has no time for his blank, angry eyes- she knows he's hurt, he's mourning, he's lost- but she needs him. Cassian's...down. Rhys is dead. Feyre and Morrigan are not coming out of that tent.

And he just listens. Thoughtfully. Asks what Nesta intends to do.

And Nesta looks at Elain- soft, kind, gentle Elain who'd never once wavered now when life was on the line. Who hadn't cried a tear for their father, or for the man who'd kidnapped and then married their baby sister.

The danger wasn't over- and neither had the steel faded from Elain's spine.

Nesta tells Azriel she's going to find Keir.

Nesta isn't blind- she's walked the Hewn City, spoken to the eldest darkness. She was also at the joke of a Summit- Autumn wants new territory, Keir wants to rule Night. And here Night is, weakened, a lamb to slaughter.

Nesta's not going to lose again- she's not going to give these ancient, cruel lords another chance.

Elain grabbed her hand and squeezed- the one person, always, who Nesta never need explain herself to.

Aren't the High Fae technically Morrigan's Elain asked, a bare whisper as they walked through the camp.

It went without saying yes, but Nesta had never seen any indication they respected her enough to listen to her. She made a face, and Elain made one right back, rueful. She had eyes too, after all.

They're not going to listen to us in these clothes, Elain also told her.

She was right, of course. They were High Fae, and that mattered to those vile pricks, but they'd been outfitted for flight. She would do almost anything, actually, to be free of leather pants.

Which Elain, a gleam in her eye that Nesta was learning meant magic, dreamy and happy- led her precisely to a gold topped tent, stepped inside, bowed, and asked without a trace of hesitation if Helion Spellcleaver, Lord of Day, would perhaps do them the favor of loaning them some garments.

Solid gold eyes gleaming against blood and smoke tinged dark skin, beautiful, glorious Helion, smiled.

Day-white against Night- but also, Nesta knew, taking care with her crown of a braid, the splatter of blood left on her throat, her mouth, her cheeks like fine paint- white was the color of death.

Elain covered herself completely- shawl wrapped over her hair, tucked around her neck, breathing easier now, in human modesty- but hung from a golden belt that Helion, with the clear air of someone who knew something about seers, had found, metal hammered with stars and flames, was Truthteller, the long blade without a sheathe, black metal swallowing up light.

Keir was easy to find, and in fine form, surrounded by Darkbringers, who looped back behind the sisters the second they were close.

Nesta was not afraid- she'd thrown power into the sky and it had hurt. Not in depth, but because she was still holding on- it wanted out-it wanted to devour-

Elain dipped a flagrantly rude, swallow bob of a curtsey. Nesta didn't even bother- just let Keir hail them, royal family that they were. He liked the sound of his own voice, but he was also clever- they'd come here of their own volition and now they were trapped.

She could smell the reinforcements, the utter Autumn reek.

Nesta interrupted, and asked Keir to come and swear fealty to her sister.

It was never going to get the right answer, but it had to be said. It had to be heard.

She'd been right- they'd been right- Keir enjoyed the cruelty of getting close to Nesta, denying straight to her Archeron face that no, Rhysand's bloodline was ended. It was time, it was right, for the House of Truth to once more hold their throne.

He spoke his treason aloud, looming over Nesta- close enough to touch.

So Nesta did.

She'd willed Cassian alive and whole. It was so, so much easier to remember fire, death, drowning, to push and want the revolting man's destruction.

And when he fell, silvered fire that had filled his lungs spilling from his throat, Nesta did not flinch. She looked to the next lieutenant, a frankly indistinguishable golden haired pale-eyed blandly handsome man in black armor, and asked, if he, as the new commander of the Darkbringers, would like to give a different answer.

He did.

Azriel met them halfway back to Feyre, grim mouth flickering for a second at the sight of Elain, before looking, stone-faced, at Nesta beside her, leading a crowd of the highest ranked Night Court faeries she could find.

Keir? He asked.

Dead, Elain answered, and that was that.

The Shadowsinger fell in step with the Seer, a threatening shadow to two pale beacons.

It was Azriel who actually went inside the tent. Who said what needed to said, what made Morrigan splutter loudly enough to be heard outside, before she burst out the tent in a whorl of hair, before blanching.

Nesta had just enough control not to roll her eyes. They come to swear fealty.

And Morrigan, chewing her lip with all the dignity of a child- Elain and Nesta had been trained out of such gestures at eight, what did she think was happening here? - shook her head. She's not well, it can wait.

No, Azriel said, from behind her, it can't.

He was supporting what looked like the entirety of Feyre's weight. Dead-white, blue eyes a blaze, Feyre looked blearily out at all of them like she recognized no one.

Elain, treasure that she was, came forward to take her sister's other hand, whispering both condolence and explanation.

And so the High Houses of Night knelt in battlefield mud, and swore eternal loyalty to the youngest Archeron.

It was only after they were gone that Nesta hugged her sister- hard enough Feyre protested, a fresh batch of tears soaking Nesta's shoulder even before Elain joined them.

It's Azriel, voice a little less like a phantom, who tells Feyre they're handling things. That if she wants to rest more, that's fine.

She was so clearly shattered- Nesta half wondered how much of that Azriel can literally feel/hear with his shadow...things.

Feyre protests that there's things to do- Feyre makes it halfway through a sentence about plans before she says Rhysand's name like he's still alive and collapses in on herself like a wave crashing.

Nesta and Elain tuck Feyre back into the blanket pile. Nesta manages to kiss her forehead before Morrigan is there, hugging Feyre putting herself bodily between the sisters.

They leave, and outside, Azriel is waiting.

To hand Nesta a gaudy, enormous platinum ring. The seal of the Night Court- Nesta recognizes it from shipping manifests, but she'd never actually seen it as an adult. Here, as a faery.

Her thoughts on Azriel's powers hold true, as he answers the dismay: Rhys only used it when he had to. It had passed between the whole Court of Dreams hands, there had not been a vizier, a lord of stars, since the time of Rhysand's father.

Nesta puts on the hideous ring, barely flinching at the brush of magic, it resizing to her hand.

Elain grasps her other, squeezing, and asks Azriel who is next.

They work ceaselessly, pausing only to sleep. Azriel, Nesta is quite sure, isn't sleeping at all- until she goes looking for him with a question and finds him finally, finally out cold, face tucked in Lucien Vanserra's neck.

In silence and gestures, they come to something of an agreement- and when the Night Court comes to the table to talk peace, it's with Lucien. Jurian, who Nesta immediately liked.

By the time they return to the North, there is not a Lord one who does not know the names and nightmarish qualities of all three Archeron sisters.

Feyre mourns, and learns to govern slow. Cassian goes back to Illyria and does not return for a long, long time. Morrigan becomes Feyre's second- Nesta laughs, not altogether kind, when Lucien tells her this. No one has been able to answer her as to why, if Morrigan is so powerful, why did she not fight? what does she actually do?

What answers to her questions she does find are appalling. Why does Winter block our every turn? oh, Rhysand killed more than a dozen children. Why is Summer refusing our trade? Well, Rhysand stole their ancestral pride. Why is the Hewn City so wrathful at even the slightest form of intervention? Because Rhysand had left Keir to rule alone.

Nesta doesn't want to rule the fucking court. She thinks she could leave all of these politicians to rot- but she won't let Feyre misstep her way to death, shouldering a burden of her dead mate.

There's nothing they can give Winter but apology and so that's what Nesta does. On her knees, in a gilded palace of ice, stars caught in her hair and the seal on her. Kallias, bright and young, seems to know something about inherited problems- he does not ever forget, but he forgives, at least, the Archerons.

Summer is more complicated- but Nesta does what she can. Gives them every melted, ruined piece of the Book. Offers reparations for the next millennia. Ends up paying for what she is appalled and embarrassed to learn is a two hundred year old debt for a building the head of the Night Court's armed forces- Cassian, fucking Cassian the ghost haunting Nesta- had destroyed. During a brawl. At a solstice party.

She deals only with Cressieda, and they come to understand each other very well.

Nesta was not raised for politics and bullshit- her mother wanted her to marry a crown, but Nesta wanted the family empire. Trade. The Archeron legacy, denied to a girl. She likes Summer more than any place in Prythian, and she doesn't hide that. She relearns old lessons of tide and routes in secret, before Cressieda reveals that of course, she knows who the Archerons were.

It goes well, until Morrigan finds out what she's been doing, and tells Feyre.

The youngest Archeron had been doing better. Morrigan has been right by her side, through everything. Cassian is in Illyria, and Feyre understands why, writing him letters. She writes letters to Rhys too, if only to have a way to direct the words.

Azriel, spectral and busy she sees the least of, but Feyre never doubts his presence, keeping her safe. Elain comes, drags her out into sunlight, brings Lucien and it makes Feyre happy to see them together. Nesta comes too, with them both and alone, with papers from Feyre to sign, with affection sharp-edged but true.

Feyre knows she owes them all more than can be said- she's not stupid, she knows they're keeping Night together. That slowly those responsibilities will fall to her, when she's ready.

She does not think about how much of those responsibilities is cleaning up the tangled mess of betrayal Rhysand left behind. In her head, there is only Rhys- beloved and shadowed, kind and tortured.

Until Morrigan tells her that it's been acknowledged, in public, by Night, that Rhysand was a thief, and a murder of children.

Feyre loses her shit.

Rhysand had done what he had to. Who was Nesta, to say such things? She'd always hated Rhys. Rhys had always hated her, maybe he was right- the children. Rhys had mourned them in screaming nightmares, but he hadn't hurt them-

(Feyre does not stop to think it strange, that Rhys could have nightmares of memories not his own. That he might have fractured just a bit, under Amarantha. That the Red Lady had no daemati- that was why she'd kept Rhys all along.)

The fight is as ugly as can be imagined. And what proceeds is of course, worse. Feyre says terrible things she will ultimately regret and apologize for, but what becomes clear is that Morrigan thinks that Nesta means to hold power forever.

That she's taken advantage.

And Cassian, called home by rage, believes her.

That is, more than her ungrateful sister, more than the ongoing weight of cleaning up after a man she despised for good reason, the end of Nesta Archeron's Night Court career.

She'd thought she loved him- she'd been willing to die with him- but they'd lived. This was the life, the next life, and what did he think of her? That Nesta was a power hungry snob. That she was paying too much heed to politics.

That Nesta belonged quietly at home. That she should have learned to fight somewhere along that way- a point so convoluted it made Lucien laugh- that she hadn't learned anything that mattered.

That she had no right to kill Keir, because it had hurt Morrigan.

Had he ever, Nesta would wonder later, even liked her? Enjoyed anything about her but for that magical tether, telling him he was blessed with something special?

Nesta was something special, and she knew it.

And so she returned the ring to Azriel, packed up her possessions, and left.

First to Day, where Elain had bought a house. Fury and tears both met the explanation of what happened- fury and tears that turned to getting inadvisably drunk in sunlight, when Lucien and Azriel snuck away to join them.

For the first time in Nesta's adult life, she had no obligations. Magic, money, freedom- the whole world was out there.

She stopped wearing black. Learned pants where actually lovely, when they fit correctly and weren't made of leather. Learned Azriel could laugh, and Lucien was as clever as she'd always thought.

She read books, she ate fruit, she took Helion up on several of his more lascivious offers.

She thought of Cassian, and it ached, but not enough to go backward.

Elain's house was by the sea, right on the water. The scent of salt reminded Nesta of Summer- but also of her oldest, most secret dreams. The warehouses of goods, like mysteries to solve. The account books she stole, learning by candlelight the trade in her blood.

Ten years after the war, Nesta bought a ship.

She set out to be a merchant, use what she knew, but what happened was this: Nesta Archeron did not care anymore for rules. And so when she came upon Hybernian remnants-for they were an island kingdom, even more one with the water than Prythian- pillaging a Summer town, she destroyed them.

She stole their treasure, gave much of it back to the people.

Found, unexpected, that she had much more of a taste for marauding than she would have expected. There was still trade of course- proft made and shared- but Summer needed someone willing to do some destroying out on the sea.

Twelve years after the war, Nesta Archeron became a privateer under the Summer flag, pearls in her hair and a true smile on her lips.

Things grew, as all things do. Feyre wrestled herself the reins of government, stymied by the councils Nesta and Azriel set up as much as she often was by Azriel himself out of truly petulant action. Morrigan remained second, golden blades bright as her gowns within reach. Cassian became a sort of seneschal, reigning over Illyria in Feyre's name cold and alone as the wind through the mountains.

(Feyre thought he might never get over the war, but Azriel knew the truth.)

Elain took herself wherever the future led, a sort of mediator and councilor, walking in all Courts- but always back to home, that isolated green, green cove, where Nesta would land.

When war came again, there was no great Lordly alliance, no cut-throat summit. There was a fleet of ships whose sails where edged in purple, whose announcement across the water was silver fire, whose accompaniment were monsters of old.

Violence did not touch Prythians human shore, because Nesta Archeron did not let it.

She was death on the tide, and she remembered what shores had borne her.

She had a home in Summer, a place in Day, her family across the continent- she had her ships, full of faeries from every walk of life, who wanted as she did the freedom as much as the profit, the endless, endless blue, where sea meets sky.

It was eternity, and the Archeron sisters, free, had made it their own.

#i'm sorry this is literally a novel #but!!! #this is my dream plot actually #all about legacy and complicated feelings #the total failure of cassian as a partner #of rhys as a ruler #of feyre as a sister!! #there's so much love in the end but its not easy love #and they do have to fight for it #Nesta Archeron has always been exactly who she is and that shouldn't have to change #Elain has never GOTTEN to be who she is and that should change #Feyre standing alone is all i want yall #a true overturning of the patriarchy actually #yes this a luzreil universe #Elain...mhmm.... definitely just has a string a very romantic love affairs #marriage as a prospect caused her so much pain #she's done #I feel like Mor comes off almost too badly in this #but like #she would?? #she's SO possessive of her people #and totally weird about Feyre's sister's from the start #Nesta having power? #Nesta having Azriel's backing? #NESTA BEING CASSIAN'S MATE? #its never going to go well

[pleasantanathema]

Graves into Gardens | Reiner Braun x Reader | Chapter One

Chapter One: Living Ghosts

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Fem!Reader 

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Modern AU, spoilers up to season four, slight manga spoilers (only by including characters met later), captivity, mentions of violence, enemies to lovers, angst, and eventual smut (don’t worry, it’ll come sooner than you think).

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: Here’s chapter one of my multi-chapter series for Reiner— chapter two is already ready!

A very special thank you to @present-mel​ , and @whats-her-quirk​ for encouraging me to take the plunge and create this monster (I’ve got a lot planned for this fic and I’m so excited for it) 💕

Masterlist | Next Chapter

           You were having that same dream again, the one where you felt like you were dying. Your shoulder ached with the memory of bursting pain, but there were warm hands there, holding you, pressing down to keep the bleeding at bay. You could never recognize the face, never identify the voice, your ears still ringing from the sound of a piercing gunshot. It was always the same; a delirious memory warped into a nightmare. Sometimes the dream ended in the hospital, other times with you staring at the inside of a coffin, or in a shallow grave.

           But this time, you were waking up, eyes flickering open to meet harsh fluorescent lights and clinking, cold handcuffs around your wrists.

          A white-hot sense of dread pooled over your body.

          You knew where you were. You knew how you got here. And suddenly, you wished you were dreaming again.

          You could still see it all, still hear the deafening blades of the helicopter whirring above you. None of your team had expected the Marleyans to be in the warehouse; they hadn’t been on the soil of Paradis in years. They’d caught you off guard and sent your escape plan into action sooner than expected. You’d tried to follow Mikasa and Armin, but Jean was in your way. The lines of your vertical movement gear had tangled with his as you both hurriedly attempted to ascend and meet Levi in the aircraft, sending you spiraling back into the window, back into enemy territory.

          Someone kicked you in the skull when you landed, you could still feel your head throbbing with the soreness. That must’ve been what did you in, what made you easy pickings to become a captive to the Marleyan government.

          You sat up, taking note of your surroundings: of course, they’d put you in a cell, one void of a bed but thankfully containing a fucking bucket. How considerate. Just outside the iron bars was a table scattered with broken pieces of your gear, undoubtedly torn apart to be studied and to keep you from using it to escape.

          Anger brewed inside your chest, a familiar feeling of betrayal returning that you hadn’t felt in years. There were faces here you didn’t want to see, enemies with broken facades that still haunted your thoughts at night. People you’d trusted, people you’d loved.

          You knew they would show themselves soon. If you were still alive, it’s because there were questions that Zeke Yeagar wanted answers to, tendrils of doubt and duplicity that he wanted to sink into your mind.

━━━─── • ───━━━

          Reiner felt sick. He’d never wanted to see you again, yet he’d been the one to carry your unconscious body through the compound, to cuff you and leave you on the frigid concrete floor. He’d stood over your figure for a while, heart pounding his chest out of fear that you’d wake up and flash that scrutinizing gaze of yours toward him again. But you’d just laid there at his feet, small, vulnerable, like a lost memory washed back upon the shores of his life.

          And of course, now that you were awake, you weren’t talking, refusing to take Zeke’s bait.

          He watched the older man pace around the room, glasses glinting as he wrung his hands. Truly, Reiner had been surprised that Zeke didn’t kill you on the spot, instead opting to transport you all the way across the border to their headquarters, insistent that you be treated like precious cargo. Though, it had been hard to keep Porco from poking at your body in the floorboards of the armored truck. Reiner had tried to keep his gaze away from you, eyes glued to the dark horizon outside of the rain smeared window. Maybe if he had stopped looking at you, you would have disappeared.

          There was something pressing Zeke, something worrying him that he wasn’t sharing with the rest of the warriors. He thought you knew something, or perhaps that you could be valuable in some way.

          Reiner knew that if you were to live, you needed to speak, needed to give them a piece of information to work with. He placed his head in his hands at the table, palms rubbing at his eyes. He shouldn’t—he didn’t—care if you took your last breath here. You were the enemy, someone who’d once held a knife to his throat when his true intentions within the ranks of The Scouts were revealed. He almost wished you’d killed him then, that you’d ended all the years of misery and regret that still clung to his mind like a poisonous leech.

          “Maybe she’ll give in to someone she knows,” Zeke stopped his pacing, attention turning to Annie Leonhart who sat across from Reiner, “why don’t you give it a go?”

          “Absolutely not,” she rejected, long legs crossing at the ankles upon the table.

          “Bertholdt tells me that you two were quite the comrades during your reconnaissance mission.”

          “I wouldn’t say that. We just found each other tolerable. Bertie was always sweet on her, though.”

          Zeke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Bertholdt is kind to everyone, he’s as soft as they come.”

          Bertholdt, per usual, stayed quiet in the face of Zeke’s remarks.

          Porco Galliard chuckled at that statement, straightening his shoulders before he spoke.

          “Which is exactly why you should’ve sent me to Paradis instead, Chief. I could give her a go. You were being too easy on her, anyways. Once you start ripping off fingernails people really start to give in, you know.”

          Reiner’s gut twisted at the thought.

          “You’re not allowed anywhere near her, Gailliard,” Zeke crossed his arms as a smirk settled into the lines of his beard, “she’s far too pretty, you’d break down and grovel to her before it was all over.”

          Galliard huffed, a pink tinge dusting his cheeks as he shrunk down in his seat.

          “Reiner—”

          He had an inkling that it would come down to this. There would be no point in disputing it, he’d have to come face to face with his past, with sins he thought he left behind four years ago.

          He stood before Zeke could complete his thought, heavy knuckles rapping at the wood of the table.

          “Well, looks like we finally have a volunteer.”

           Every inch of Reiner’s skin bristled as he marched down the corridor to the prison cells. His footsteps were jarring, heavy, like he was determined to leave prints in the floor to mark a final walk of shame. Some part of him hoped you’d be gone when he opened the door, that you would have used your wits and crawled through some air duct and run away from this, from him.

          He almost didn’t turn the door handle. He felt invisible, burdensome hands pulling at his shoulders, calling at him to run. He’d always been a coward, especially when it came to you. He hated you, loathed you because he knew you pegged him as fraud from the beginning. You never threw a kind word in his direction, always looked at him like he was below you, like his pride meant nothing to you.

          Reiner just wished that you had meant nothing to him. Even when the opportunity had presented itself, he couldn’t even find the strength to kill you like his orders demanded. He wondered if you remembered it at all, if your memories had finally flooded back after all this time. Something inside his heart wouldn’t let him that night, some unknown, egregious feeling that by some means overshadowed his hatred. 

          That feeling returned when he entered the room and found you sitting with your back to the wall, your tightly bound hands in your lap.

          He took in a deep breath as he averted his gaze, teeth gritting at the sight of you awake. Zeke was right, four years had done you justice; time had only made you more beautiful than before, and he worried he might fall to his knees before you.

          “Reiner.”

          Sometimes, he just really wished people would stop saying his name.

━━━─── • ───━━━

          A strange relief settled into your stomach at the sight of him. Reiner was as hulking as ever, broad shoulders stretching the threads of his shirt to their limits. But he was different, older…demure, in some ways. He didn’t hold his head as high anymore, didn’t immediately cross his arms across his barreled chest to appear larger. He took tired, golden eyes less intense than you last remembered. His fingers rubbed at his lips, at the facial hair that adorned more pronounced cheekbones.

          You hated to admit that he appeared even more handsome than you remembered.

           There was a red armband tied around his bicep, an insignia emblazoned on it that you’d never seen before.

          “Do I make you nervous, Braun?”

          You caught his attention then, made his eyes look at you as you leaned your head back against the stone wall.

          “Tough question from the one behind bars.”

          His voice had changed, too. He sounded more stoic, more serious. There used to be a hint of glee under that tongue of his.

          “Why am I here?”

          “I’m supposed to be the one asking you things.”

          You shrugged, biting at your cheek as you wiggled your toes to try to make them feel again. Your limbs were starting to ache, your head too, body feeling like it was starting to cement to the floor. You didn’t want to be Zeke Yeagar’s plaything, but you knew that if you were alive, there was something they wanted. There was some leverage you held, but you weren’t sure what it was just yet. You had hoped they would send Bertholdt in to talk to you, you always could get under his skin.

          Reiner was a more difficult case for you. He always coated himself in arrogance, made it harder for you to chip away at his armor. He never let anyone in, just always grinned, acted like he had everything under control. But before you was a man with cracks, a man that time and guilt had eroded. You almost felt sorry for him, almost. A man like him deserved to bear the weight of his burdens.

          “Listen, if you don’t start talking—”

          “You’ll what? Kill me?”

          “We’ll torture you.”

          He said the words with a weight that knocked you back a bit, stole the last breath of gusto you were holding onto. You expected as much, but hearing it said aloud made fear crawl up your spine, made the cuffs around your wrist feel even more strained against your skin.

          “What do you want to know? I could tell Yeagar was prodding for something tangible to use against Paradis.”

          “I just want to know what you know about us, if you know anything about what Marley has been doing in the last few years.”

          “You’ve been fighting a war, that much I know.”

          And he looked like he had been through battle, been through hell in trenches and gunfire. Your intelligence agents had reported that Braun had been promoted to be Vice Commander of the Warrior Unit, and the hardline of his frown told you he’d seen more horrors than you wanted to know about.

          “Tell me something you don’t know from news headlines.”

          Levi had trained all his scouts for this situation once upon a time ago. You could still hear his voice in your head, commanding you to give up as little as possible, learn what the enemy wanted and then give them something else to cling on to. You had a few things you knew you could feed to them, beneficial tidbits that would satiate their hunger and keep them from feasting upon your teammates. But relaying any kind of information was a death sentence within itself; give the dogs a treat and eventually they’ll want more.

          And you knew that Reiner, that Zeke Yeagar, was a very greedy host.

          You stood slowly, releasing the aching tension in your lower back. Reiner didn’t flinch away from his place beyond the rusting iron, instead eyeing you like you were some exotic thing in a cage.

          There was a nostalgia of being in his presence, even if the atmosphere around him was contrary to what you were used to perceiving. He still made your blood boil, still made your fighting instincts come alive in the back of your mind. You still felt small in his shadow, but there was still a lingering feeling, a fleeting memory, about how being around him once made you feel safe.

          Your bare feet moved toward him, toes stinging against the cold of the floor.

          One of your hands wrapped around a bar to your prison, the metal of your handcuffs clinking against the barrier.

          You could catch his scent from being this close, and at least that much stayed the same—he always smelled like cedarwood, earthy and sweet, like the spice of the forest floor after a fresh rain. It was almost funny how smell created memories more frequently than any other sense. 

          Suddenly, you felt like you were back home, like nothing had changed, as if his deceit had never been revealed. Your mind’s eye flashed images of your old training camp, of Reiner lifting Connie onto his shoulders after the small boy had successfully managed to triumph over Jean in his marksmanship practice. He’d used one of the tricks that Reiner had taught him. That once sweet memory turned sour as you remembered just why Reiner was always such a good shot.

          You tilted your chin up to look at him, to come face-to-face with the imposing penumbra you thought you’d warded off. He was a living ghost brought back to haunt you once again.

          “You seem pathetic, Braun, like you’ve lost all that bravado that made you so special.”

          He took your words, let them bounce off his chest like you hadn’t even spoken them.

          “Why did they send you in here? Did they really expect I’d crack under such pitiful pressure? You’re a deplorable, miserable—”

          His fist wrapped around your hand, crushing your fingers between his might and the metal bar you’d secured yourself to.

          You hissed at the pain, but…there was something you had missed in that touch of his; he felt warm, worn, like there were secrets being pressed into your skin.

          “Be. Quiet.”

          You expected his fingers to flex, waited for him to crack your fingers under his pressure. But he kept his strength at bay, electing to keep a steady, continuous tension against your knuckles.

          “Talk, or tomorrow will be your last day. You wouldn’t want to die at the hands of a pathetic, wretched man like me, would you? No, you’re too proud for that.”

          He took a step back, releasing his bruising grip before turning on his heels to leave.

          A string of panic began to uncoil inside you, snapping as his arm extended towards the exit.

           “Reiner,” you called, “tell me something. How much do you really know about Zeke Yeagar?”

           “I know enough.”

           “No, you don’t,” you were starting to sound worried, you could hear it, “there’s something I know that you don’t, and I’d be willing to give you information in return for you answering a question for me.”

           You could feel your heart beating in your chest, every pump within your ribs like the ticking of an oppressive clock. He was silent, steady, back still turned away from you. You noticed that his fists were clenched by his side, a vein starting to appear up the exposed length of his forearm.

           “I’ll consider it. Depends on what your question is.”

           He still didn’t turn to look at you.

           “Reiner…tell me what happened to Marco.”

           The door was slamming shut before the last syllable of the dead man’s name left your lips.

Next Chapter

#reiner braun x reader #reiner braun #reiner x reader #snk reiner #AoT #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #aot reiner #aot reiner braun #snk x reader #snk reiner braun #reiner #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader

[twdeadfanfic]

Vows Pt.9

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Series Summary:

The last battle with Negan doesn’t go as it should, with Negan coming on top, and so reader, Daryl’s girlfriend, offers herself as a wife to Negan if he doesn’t kill Daryl or anyone else. Negan accepts, he won’t kill anyone but will take reader as a wife, and he’ll take Daryl and some of the others to the Sanctuary as prisoners, promising not to hurt anyone if reader is one of his wives and the communities work for him.

This has both flashbacks to reader and Daryl’s story since meeting to now, and the present with reader living at the Sanctuary as a wife, trying to keep Daryl and their people safe, and she and the other wives dealing with Negan, plotting… (This is not a Negan x reader fic!)

You had to wait several weeks until you could put in motion your plan to set your friends free from the Sanctuary. Not only had you to come up with something with as little risk of backfiring as possible, you also had to wait for the best, or rather only, moment in which it’d work.

At first, you’d wanted to do it yourself alone, not wanting to put any other wive at risk, and the less they knew about it, the safer they’d be, but Abby knew that you were up to something, and she hadn’t stopped until you’d agreed to let her help.

Since then, every other wive had ended up knowing about your idea too, noticing that you were planning something…now you thought that without their help, you probably hadn’t been able to put everything in motion.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Lila had come to your room at night, announcing that she knew what you were trying to do, that she’d heard you and Abby whispering about how to get a key to the cells, and that she knew how to get one, and was going to.

Apparently, Arat was on the rotation of saviors who watched over the cells. Lila’s idea was to slip off the wive’s room one night when Arat were on watch and go see her, tricking her to get the key without her noticing it.

You guessed that involved sleeping with Arat, and you didn’t want Lila to have to do that just to get you the key, put Lila kept assuring you that it was okay, that she didn’t mind it at all, and you didn’t have any other idea as to how to get the key, so you ended up agreeing.

You were now pacing nervously around the wive’s room, waiting for Lila. Tonight was the night in which she’d gone to try and play Arat. You were scared thinking Arat might discover what Lila was up to, or that Lila’d be caught up with Arat, or sneaking around the Sanctuary. Lila had told you that she’d be fine, that it was not the first neither the second time that she sneaked out of the wive’s room to go have fun with Arat, but you still couldn’t shake your worry. You didn’t want Lila, or anyone else, to get hurt while trying to help you.

Every other wive was now aware of what was going on too, but they didn’t seem as anxious as you. Apparently, they were used to Lila sneaking out to see Arat, and she’d always been fine, so they weren’t too worried about it…she’d never tried to steal a key to the cells from Arat, though, so you were scared thinking what Arat might do if she caught Lila, although she must know that all the other wives would team up against her and try to convince Negan that she was pestering Lila if she tried anything…but if she was caught losing the key to the cells, nothing good could come to her either, so you weren’t sure how Arat might react if she caught Lila…

“I still think we’re not taking full advantage of this…” Frankie commented, taking you out of your thoughts.

She’d been helping too, but she thought that you all could be doing more. Your idea was to free your friends, open the cells but bust the locks to make it look like someone had helped them from inside without a key, and have them running away from the Sanctuary, the other wives seemed to know a lot about the corridors and whatnot, and about the saviors taking watch, so they had helped you choose the best escape route.

Frankie, though, didn’t think it was the best plan. She thought that your people shouldn’t run away once free, but go to the armory and get weapons, you all would be joining them there, and then fight against the saviors too, probably other workers would join too.

You, on the other hand, thought that too dangerous, both to your friends, the wives, and the workers.

You didn’t know in which condition were your friends, but you knew it was not good, after weeks inside the cells with barely any food, you didn’t know if they’d be strong enough to fight so many saviors, not to mention in their territory…it’d be hard enough even if they were as strong as ever, not to mention that you all would have to get to the armory, which was guarded by saviors, while you barely had any weapons. And you knew that Daryl was still weak and recovering from the iron burn...you gave thanks every day that he hadn’t died of an infection.

Neither did you know how many of the unarmed workers really knew how to fight anyway, and could stand against the saviors, while most of the saviors were skilled, ruthless, and good armed. You knew that Frankie and Abby could work a gun and use the knife, but the other wives had no experience fighting, they had barely put down walkers, let alone kill human, alive people who was fighting back.

“I told you, I want to burn down this place too…” You assured Frankie. “But I don’t want us dying on the process…my people will help us from outside once they’re free.”

You had written a note to Rick to slip it into the cell with the key, explaining everything about how to get out, advising him to hide with the others but not go to any community controlled by Negan, though you didn’t think they’d be that stupid, and explaining that, if they’d try to overthrow the saviors from outside again, you had people who’d help from the inside…you didn’t know how you all could coordinate that attack, you had no way to communicate with them.

“Yes, because your plan from outside worked so good the last time…” Frankie sighed.

“Hey…we almost won…Eugine plan tampering with the bullets worked…they were just way more and with more weapons that we knew, and they tricked us using Dwight.” You shrugged defensively.

“Yeah, Eugine’s plan to send away the walkers that your people left surrounding the Sanctuary worked too…fucking Eugine,” Frankie cursed, and you had to agree, you had hated Eugine for that too, when you still thought he’d betrayed you all. “Didn’t want to help us poison Negan either.”

“I still think we can work that idea without Eugine, we should think about it…” Abby said, and you weren’t very sure of what they were talking about, but it sounded like something you wanted to be part of. “Also, who was the idiot who decided to crash a truck here to let walkers inside when we were surrounded? My sister was cleaning the savior’s rooms and the walkers almost got her if me and Laura hadn’t got to her first!”

You let out a sigh, rubbing your forehead. “I, uh…I’m afraid that was my idiot…he wasn’t thinking straight…”

“Daryl?” Abby scoffed. “Woman, once every fucking savior is dead and we’ve gutted Negan, I’m punching your boyfriend for that.”

“Fair enough,” you snorted…your friends safe, the saviors and Negan dead…could that be a reality?

The door opened and you all looked to see if it was Lila, though you knew it was way too early. It wasn’t her but Tanya, who came from the infirmary, setting in motion another part of the plan.

“Not pregnant,” she announced, her excuse for having gone to the infirmary was wanting to take a pregnancy test.

“No shit,” Abby snorted.

“I mean, I was already there so why not check for real, last thing I need is baby Negan,” Tanya shrugged before looking at you. “But I talked to your friend Siddiq, didn’t give him details, but told him that this night he must let himself be seen all the time, so people can vouch for him, and also next Wednesday night.” That was the date when Aran was on watch again, the one you all had picked for your friends to escape. “He wanted to ask things but I didn’t let him.”

“Good, good, thanks.” You nodded. The less Siddiq knew, the safer he’d be. You also wanted him to escape, but he wasn’t in a cell, being the doctor of the place, and you hadn’t been able to come up with any idea that wasn’t too risky.

“Now…let’s wait for Lila.”

*

It was late at night when Lila finally slipped back into the wives’ room. She was carrying with her a box of chocolates, and you guessed that’d be her excuse if someone asked her what she’d been doing outside.

“Are you okay? Did Arat notice something?” You asked anxiously.

“I’m fine, I told you I could do it, Arat doesn’t know anything, didn’t notice me getting the key, she was busy,” Lila chuckled, placing the box of chocolates on the table and taking one before flopping on the sofa.

“Okay, okay, good…” You nodded, but you still couldn’t help how nervous you were. “You think she’ll say that she’s lost her key?”

“And face Negan’s rage at it? Would you?” Lila snorted. “Nah, I’m sure she’d just try to find it and hide that she doesn’t have it for as long as she can…she’s not the first one to lose a key, Sherry stole one from Dwight, I’m sure, and there was this other savior too…the idiot admitted having lost it and he ended up in one of the cells himself. Nah, Aran’t won’t talk.”

“Alright…okay…okay, good….” Everything seemed to be working, but that wouldn’t make you worry less about this whole thing. “You got the key, then?”

“Got something better.” Lila smiled and you eyed her with worry.

“What did you do?”

“Well…I was going to be near the cells already, so I took that note you had written for your friend Rick, once there I told Arat to go make sure there was nobody around that could catch us, and while she was at it, I slipped both the note and the key under Rick’s cell door…at least I think it was Rick’s…”

“What?! That was dangerous! What if Arat caught you?! Or somebody else!” You had wanted to be the one delivering the key and the note with the instructions, you didn’t want anyone but you having to take that risk.

“She didn’t catch me, nobody saw me, it’s fine.” Lila shrugged, and you had to admit that maybe she was actually quite good at sneaking around, you hadn’t noticed her taking the note with instructions from where you had hidden it. “I know people look at me and think I can’t fight or do anything like this, but I can, see? Maybe I’d have been even a better savior than wife.” Lila smiled, but you still felt guilty.

“Lila, nobody thinks you can’t do it, but you didn’t have to, you didn’t have to put yourself at risk, you don’t have anything to prove,” you insisted.

“It’s fine! It’s not that different from sneaking out of my parent's house through the window of my room to see whoever I was dating that moment, I used to do that all the time when I was a teen.” Lila shrugged, chuckling, and she nudged you when you still looked worried. “Relax! Come on, you have to look like nothing is going on, there’s still a few days to wait until your friends try to go out, Negan can’t notice, yeah?”

“She’s right, we have to act like everything is fine and nothing is going on, alright…” Frankie nodded.

“Yeah…is not like we’re not used to acting here,” Abby snorted. “Good job, Lila, and you even brought us chocolate.” Abby sat down next to Lila, wrapping an arm around her before reaching to pick one of the chocolates.

“Hey, Lila,” you insisted. “You know what could happen to Arat if Negan finds that she lost the key, right? Or when my people break free on her shift…you okay with it?”

Lila shrugged, but her smile was gone. “Yeah…I mean…I have fun with her, and she’s hot, but I do know that she murdered a bunch of kids in Oceanside, and other things I don’t know about…so…yeah…she’s no innocent…”

“Yeah…”

“Come on, everyone...we have to act like everything is fine…”

*

The days leading to the evening when your friends were supposed to escape felt eternal, and every hour you spent with Negan, you were afraid you were acting suspicious, but finally, the day came.

Every other wive knew what to do, stay at the room, let herself be seen there, and you hoped that Siddiq was doing that too, getting himself be seeing by saviors and workers.

The other wives had decided that you should be entertaining Negan that evening, since you’d be the main suspect of your friends breaking out, and so you’d lured him into the bedroom as soon as you could, trying to channel your best black widow seductress performance despite your nerves, and intending on keeping him there for as long as possible.

You’d timed the plan as best as possible, but there were variables that you couldn’t predict…how long would it take Rick and the others to be able to leave, would they run into trouble, would they be caught and have to fight their way out…if so, Negan would be the first to know, and so when there was an urgent knocking on the door, your heart leaped to your throat.

The door opened before Negan could say anything, and Abby peeked inside.

“What the fuck, doll, couldn’t wait to join or-” Negan began but stopped when he saw Abby’s urgent expression. “What?!”

“Something happened, Rian is looking for you, it seems urgent, you need to come right now!” Abby seemed genuinely worried, and it was scaring you, but you knew it might be just an act, you didn’t know what to think…

Negan cursed and began dressing up quickly, and while he had his back to Abby, she winked at you, helping you ease your worries a bit. Negan stormed off his room, rushing down the corridor and out the wives’ room, leaving you all there.

“So?” You asked anxiously once you were sure Negan had walked away.

“They did it…I mean, at least they escaped the cells, I know that but couldn’t get anything else, I don’t know if they’re out the Sanctuary or not…”

“Okay….okay…” You tried to breathe, sitting down on one of the sofas, and Noemi sat down next to you, reaching out to hold your hand.

“All we can do now is wait…and we have to keep pretending that we don’t know what’s going on, just in case…”

*

You didn’t know how long you spent there, waiting, probably less than it felt, but it felt eternal nonetheless, until finally the door opened and a savior that you’d seen around often walked in.

“Y/N? Negan wants to see you.”

“In the bedroom?” You asked, trying to sound nonchalant, and the savior scoffed.

“No. Follow me.”

You did so, the other wives giving you encouraging looks before you closed the door behind you.

The savior led you through the Sanctuary, stopping in front of a room, and nodded at you to walk in. As you’d been walking, you’d tried to remind yourself that you’d trained how you should act, whatever was the news, that you could do it, you’d been acting and performing for months, after all…

You tried not to forget it all as you walked into what seemed Negan’s office or place of meeting. There was a table in the middle of the room, chairs around it, and Negan was sat down at the head of the table with his bat lying against the side of the chair.

“What’s going on?” You asked when he didn’t say anything, and Negan kept looking at you in silence before he spoke.

“Your friends are gone.”

“Gone?” You glanced at his bat and swallowed hard, both pretending to be anxious and nervous for real. “What do you mean…gone?”

“I mean, gone!” Negan snapped. “Gone as in they left without saying fucking goodbye!”

You blinked at Negan before scoffing. “You’re trying to make fun of me…quit it, it’s not funny, Negan.”

“Do I look like I’m laughing, doll?” Negan asked, his voice sounding dangerous.

You frowned at him before sitting on a chair, facing him. “So…you’re telling me that my friends left their locked cells, walked around a place full of your saviors, and left said place, while more of your saviors kept watch on the lookouts.” You said and Negan just looked at you in silence, seeming to study you, so you tried to hide your nervousness. “Is this…is this some kind of trick?”

“You tell me, doll, is this some kind of trick?” Negan kept eyeing you in that dangerous way. “Won’t you happen to know how your friends managed to do everything you just said, get out the cells, knock out Arat who was on watch, kill my lookouts, ran away? I was thinking, dear wife, that maybe you have a say on this?”

You scoffed at that.  “Yes, I sent my double to fuck you while I went to get a key to the cells, set my friends free, help them escape, but I decided to stay here instead of leaving with them,  because my new husband is too charming for me to want to leave this place and go back to my friends and family, how could abandon you if I’m given the chance, the man who burned my ex-boyfriend with an iron and threatened to throw me to one of the cells if he misbehaved.”

You weren’t too sure of how Negan was going to react to your words, if it might work as you expected it or backfire, but to your relief, he snorted.

“Charming as always, darling, even when you should bite that pretty tongue…” Negan told you, but he didn’t sound that threatening anymore, you could read him better now than when you first married him. “Don’t you think this might not be the best moment for you to say what you truly think of me…and here I was, thinking that you were fond of me now,” he joked.

“Well…” You shrugged. “This life is not that bad as I thought, I can give you that…would you rather I lied?”

“No, darling, I want you to say the fucking truth…” Negan was back at studying you. “You know nothing of this then?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. “Truth is it? I have no idea, otherwise, if I had known that they were going to escape, I’d have tried to go with them in a second…and you know it.”

“Yeah…won’t you want to be far from your rabid bitch Daryl, uh?” Negan asked darkly, and you just shrugged. “Who did this, then?”

“How do you want me to know?” You shrugged, rolling your eyes, trying to look exasperated. “Who has the keys?”

“They didn’t use the keys, the locks were busted from outside,” Negan explained. “Who do you think would want to get your friends free? Besides you.”

“No one?” You scoffed. “Workers have no reason to risk it, your saviors hate us, so…well, there’s…no, nothing…”

“What is it, doll.” Negan squinted at you. “I told you I want the truth…for your own good, darling.”

You looked at him and then let out a sigh, falling against the back of your seat, pretending to give up. “Siddiq…you didn’t have him in a cell…maybe…I don’t know if there’s a way for him to reach the cells without being seen…” You really,  really hoped that Siddiq had followed your instructions and let himself be seen by saviors the whole time, so you weren’t throwing him under the bus.

“Good thinking.” Negan nodded. “Same than me, I’ve been having a lovely conversation with our dear doctor right before they brought you in…It wasn’t Siddiq, he was at the infirmary with a couple of my guys, inventorying whatever the fuck they have there,” Negan explained, to your relief. “Didn’t seem to know what had happened either, and I was very thorough in my questioning.”

You hoped that it didn’t mean he’d hurt Siddiq, but you didn’t ask anything of that, instead blinking at Negan. “So…so you mean Siddiq is still here too, then? He didn’t leave with the others?” You frowned before scoffing quietly. “So they left him behind too…” You muttered.

“What was that?” Negan asked, and you shook your head. “Oh…oh, you think your friends left you behind…” Negan chuckled and when you glanced at him, he was looking at you with a smirk, but you just shrugged.

“I think…I think that somehow they found themselves free, and they managed to leave this place, without bothering on checking if they could take me, the person who agreed to marry you and shag you to keep them safe and alive, with them when they escaped, because yes, why would they do that,” you blurted out, pretending that you hadn’t rehearsed it, and Negan chuckled at it.

“Oh, darling…” Negan’s dark smirk grew. “I’d say you’re sounding kind of bitter…I thought you’d be jumping in joy…and I thought your dog would never leave this place without you…”

“Yeah, you and me both…” You muttered bitterly…you were relieved Daryl had left, though, you were afraid he wouldn’t leave without you, and you had told Rick on your note to do anything that he needed in order to take Daryl with him.

“Well, well…maybe I’m starting to seem more charming to you now?” Negan teased you and you glared at him. “Here you are, admitting that you’d leave me at the first chance…while I wouldn't have left you behind like your friends did, you know…”

“Yeah, I’m sure if there’s a fire at the Sanctuary, you’d carry all your brides to safety before saving your own skin,” you scoffed and Negan just chuckled.

“I would.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed again. “If you didn’t want me to admit that I’d leave this place at the first chance, you shouldn’t have made me say the truth.” You shrugged. “So if you’re going to punish me for it, just go ahead already.”

“I’m not going to do anything to you, doll, I’ll let it pass…It’s not like I didn’t know it already.” Negan chuckled darkly. “And I’m not going to punish you for being honest and saying the truth when I ask you to.”

You didn’t say anything to that, just shook your head bitterly.

“Jumping in joy…” You repeated Negan’s words. “You think I’d be jumping in you if they escaped? They were idiots…” You sniffed, swallowing hard, trying somehow to summon tears to your eyes. “I took this deal to keep them safe! I’ve kept them safe, didn’t I?!” You ranted. “But no, they didn’t seem to trust me to keep them safe, they had to run away…and now, now when you find them, you’re going to kill them, no matter our deal, right?”

Negan nodded. “You know I have to do it, doll, can’t have people thinking that they can try to run away without consequences.”

You sighed, letting yourself fall against the back of the seat again, before looking at Negan. “All of them? Can you just…spare all but one or something, kept the others locked again or…I don’t know…” You said, trying to sound desperate.

“What, you wanna be the one picking who I kill?” Negan chuckled darkly and you glared at him with tears in your eyes. “Haven’t decided, doll…Rick and Daryl…you know I’ll kill them, darling, you know I have to,” Negan said and you nodded, closing your eyes tight as you swallowed hard. “Rosita and Eugine…those two are useful…might kill them anyway, but…” Negan shrugged. “Dwight, second time that rat crosses me…”

“Wait…Dwight?” You interrupted Negan. “You’re telling me…you’re telling me that they took Dwight with them, but couldn’t spare a second to try and get to Siddiq or me?” Negan didn’t say anything, but his smirk grew and you glared at him. “Don’t you dare to smile at that or…”

“Or what, darling?” He asked, but he sounded more teasing than threatening.

“Or nothing…” You let out a defeated sigh. “Got nothing I can do…but…” You chuckled darkly before looking at Negan. “You got nothing on me anymore, either. The people I was protecting with our deal are gone…you got nothing on me…you said I wasn’t here against my will…”

“What is this, doll, you saying you're dumping me?” Negan squinted at you.

“Well…maybe you know any other place where I can get a bed as comfortable and a supply of chocolate? If you don’t, then I guess I’ll have to stay married to you.” You blinked at Negan and he smirked.

“I’m afraid I don’t, darling…and I’m sure your bedroom is way more comfortable than the cell where I’ll have to keep your pretty ass if you don’t want to be married to me anymore.”

“Then I guess I’m still your wife…worse things in the world, I guess, than a comfortable bed and a supply of sweets…” You joked.“So…yeah, yeah, I’m still married to you even if there’s no deal anymore, even if I’m not protecting my family anymore.” You knew you served your people better as a wife on the inside, than locked and unable to do anything.

“Your family…” Negan chuckled. “The way I see it, doll, your family just abandoned you without looking back.”

“Don’t say that,” you pretended to snap, glaring at him.

“What, you said it yourself, love,” Negan smirked at you. “They didn’t even try to help you out, not even your dog, after all you did for them…they got their chance, they seized it, I don’t judge.” Negan shrugged. “But…I told you, I wouldn't have left you behind like that…so, darling, maybe you want to start reconsidering where your loyalty lies from now on…”

*

If you enjoyed this, comments and reblogs are always more than welcome, thanks.

Also, as always, excuse my English, it’s not my first language.

New taglist for Daryl,I trimmed it, if you want to be tagged let me know and also, please, if you are not interested in being tagged anymore let me know too

@coffeebooksandfandom​​​  @gruffle1​​  @yenne-yen-illustrations​​  @sourwolf-sterek32​​  @lonewolf471​​​  @daryldixonandfrogs​​​    @collecting-stories​​​ @princessxpunk​​​    @smiithys​​​    @captainbuckyboobear​​​   @dazzledamazon​​​   @spidergirla5​​​ @lilythemadqueen​​​ @lightning-butterfly​​​ @purplebtsmagic​​​  @courtnytrash04​​​       @seizethesam​​​    @fuseburner​​​ @phoenixblack89​​​  @boywivlove​​​  @amaroho​​​ @woundmetender​​​  @classyunknownlover​​​ @tenderlyunlikelyexpert​​​ @kaitieskidmore1​​​ @sttrawberries​​​ @huffledor-able541​​​ @browneyes528​​​ @soraitmnt​​​  @thereshallbenoother​​​ @leej2468​​​  @heartlessmarvello​​​  @redneckstrash​​​ @bitchynicole​​​   @supernatural79impala​​​     @thiccblondeliv​​​ @maggie-l-m​​​ @baseballbitch116​​​ @sweatywildpanda​​​ @theteaset​​​  @amaroho​​​ @my-current-fandom-is​​​   @whitexwingedxdoves​​​ @nickangel13​​​ @oceans-daughter-3​​​  @tuttifuckinfruttifriday​

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #Daryl Dixon/Reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fic #daryl dixon & reader #twd fanfiction #twd imagine

[harryspet]

secret service | bucky barnes

[Warnings] secret service!bucky x reader, reader is vp’s daughter, bodyguard!bucky, agegap, noncon/dubcon sex, brat tamer bucky, dominant x submissive, rough sex (wear protection kids!!)

A/N: this is for @nsfwsebbie​ ‘s dream fic challenge. Happy b-day sab! this is @mypoisonedvine​ ‘s dream fic and the prompt was “I would love anything dark bucky, especially if he starts out all nice and stuff but then he's all manipulative and it gets worse and worse until we're in heavy dub con/non con territory”. hope you enjoy bb!

In which a political trip to London allows you to be reunited with your favorite secret service member, Bucky Barnes. 

taglist: @peterztinglez @lovelynerdytraveler @buckybarney @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything​ @saharzek​ @lovemassivelybeautifulbouquet​ @what-is-your-wish​ @marvelslut-musicalnerd​ @brattypeony​ @hermayone​ @buckysugar​ @mandiiblanche​ @cherienymphe​

word count: 3.9k 

main masterlist

“You’ll need to be on your best behavior this weekend. We can’t have an incident like last year.”

You didn’t meet your mother’s eyes as you looked out the window of the private plane. Surprising to most, this time you spent watching her read her millions of paperwork was the most time you spent with her. Your mother cared for you but she was not warm. You didn’t believe a warm person could make it so high in the government. Being the daughter of the Vice President, you saw the kinds of dirty, manipulative politics that went on behind the scene. 

You wanted little part of it but, here you were, about to land in London for an important public event. 

“Y/N? Are you listening?” She continued to talk despite your lack of an answer, “That means you tell your agents when you’re going somewhere. I don’t care if you’re only walking down the hall to the ice machine, you tell them. You’ve known this since you were a little girl, I don’t know why you always give me a hard time.”

“I’m already here alone, Mom. Must you torture me further by suffocating me?”

“I know you must think it’s fun to rendezvous with some foreign prince but I must ask you to keep your legs closed for this trip and listen to your security.”

Your mouth parted. She thought of you as some whore but the truth was that you were far from the persona she forced upon you, “You don’t know me at all. And Alden isn’t a prince, his father is a prince. He’s just a duke,” You faked a smile and she scowled at you. 

You weren’t expecting her next words, “I have a surprise for you when we land.”

You paused for a moment, trying to read her face. She was perfect at disguising her true emotions and, as her daughter, the thought that you didn’t really know your mother was saddening, “A surprise? I thought you were lecturing me.”

“You won’t listen unless I bribe you, Y/N,” Just as the words left her mouth, the pilot spoke on the intercom. The plane was beginning its descent and in a moment you’d be landing. One of your mother's assistants had to approve all your outfits for this trip. After some discourse, you decided on a light pink dress for your arrival look. It hugged your curves the way you liked but it reached down to your knees modestly as your mother preferred. 

When you were finally stepping down the stairs to the plane, watching your mother wave to the press, and the diplomats ready to greet her, you realized what your surprise was. Two sleek, black cars waited at the end of the red carpet and the sight of the man standing in front of the second one made your heart race. 

It took everything in you not to run to him. His dark hair was styled neatly, his arms folded over his nicely pressed black suit and a soft look of happiness was displayed on his strong face. He was just like you remembered him, the earpiece in his ear and the gold pin on his lapel reminded you of his position. 

“This is my surprise?” Your mother turned to you with a grin. 

“I know how much you like Agent Barnes, maybe you’ll actually listen to him. You’re going straight to your hotel room, I will see you later tonight.”

“Of course, my beloved mother.  Like all teenagers, I love sitting in my hotel room and doing nothing while I’m on a trip.”

You watched your mother walk away from you, going to the first car while you approached the second car. Your speed picked up as you neared him. He opened the door for you, winking, “Girl Scout is in the Stage Coach. I repeat, Girl Scout is in the Stage Coach.”

Everyone the secret service protected had a codename. You’d been a proud girl scout for most of elementary school and then middle school when your mother went from Senator to Vice President. The name stuck and you thought it was annoying now that you’d grown out of that phase but you liked the name on his lips. 

As you carefully slipped inside the car, you were beaming and, as Bucky slipped in beside you, you had to wait to pounce. You attacked him with a hug as soon as the doors closed and none of the crowd could see you through the tinted windows. You felt his hand against your back, hugging you tightly and it was then that you realized how touch starved you had been. 

Everyone you came in contact had to go through your guards and that was often an intimidating process for most guys. Even though you had started college, you decided to avoid boys altogether because of this. 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Your eyes were wide even as you pulled away from him, “How?”

Bucky gave you a soft smile, “Well I can’t tell you all the details since they’re top secret but, let’s say, my mission didn’t take as long as predicted.”

Your eyes narrowed at him in curiosity, “So you killed the bad guys and they let you come back to play babysitter?”

Bucky shook his head, giving you an amused look, “So crass. I see nothing has changed,” He leaned over and, for the briefest second, you thought his face was leaning into yours. Instead, he had reached over to grab your seatbelt as he safely secured it around your waist. Your cheeks heated up and you found yourself looking into the rearview mirror where you could see the two agents sitting in the front seat, “I apologize for being gone so long.”

“You didn’t miss much,” You said to console him, “Just senior year which was nothing special.”

Seeing him now made you think about meeting him those six years ago. He was so young then, just having served in the Army, but somehow aging had made him look even better. You had a feeling he was just as king and loyal as before. You were just a middle schooler at the time, hormonal, and constantly fighting with your parents about your lack of freedom. Maybe you hadn’t changed much either. 

You watched him fasten his own seatbelt as the car began to take off, “Nothing special, hmm?” He cocked his eyebrow, “What about prom? Graduation?”

“Oh, it was effectively ruined by my arch-nemesis. He stole my spot as Salutatorian, my prom date wouldn’t stop talking to him about nanotech for the entire evening, and guess who got into Stanford for early admission just like yours truly?”

“Little Peter Parker?” Bucky chuckled. 

“He’s not so little anymore,” You crossed your arms, pouting, “He’s only jealous that my mother was chosen as Vice President and his uncle was chosen for the lousy Secretary of Labor position.”

“Seems he must like you a lot to follow you to Stanford. To move all the way across the country,” You gave him an incredulous look, “C’mon, princess, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“Of course I’ve noticed,” You rushed out your words, trying to ignore that feeling you got when he called you princess. If anyone else had said that, you’d probably feel disgusted but … you couldn’t help but think that term of endearment had changed its meaning. The truth was that you never thought Peter liked you and now you were worrying that your lack of social awareness had caused you to ignore the warning signs, “The last person I want to talk about is Peter Parker, Bucky.”

“Fine,” He folded his hands in front of him, sighing. 

“Besides,” You side-eyed him mischievously, “I have someone far more important who feigns for my attention.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky leaned in. 

“A duke,” You finished.

Bucky’s face seemed to fall, “I can’t imagine you as a duchess,” You couldn’t imagine yourself as one either but you liked the excitement that Alden brought you, “And your mother informed me of what happened last year. I’ll probably lose my job if something like that occurs again.”

“You’d tattle on me? I thought we were friends, Bucky.”

“That was when you were a harmless little girl. Now, you’re …” His eyes seemed to roam over your face then they fell to your neck but they moved back to your eyes before they could travel any lower, “You’re going to make this hard on me, aren’t you?”

You reached out to tap his cheek playfully and smirked, “I missed you.”

+

You weren’t sure exactly what holier-than-thou charity that these rich people had gathered in ball gowns to donate to. It was probably a minuscule fraction of their wealth and they most likely were only here to keep up appearances. Still, you enjoyed a chance to dress up. 

You moved through the historical museum in a red ball gown, admiring all the expensive artifacts, as Bucky escorted you. You expected your mother to be with you during the event she’d forced you to attend but it seemed that she was once again too busy. You would’ve felt lonely if Bucky hadn’t been there. The other agents kept their distance, wearing tuxedos to blend into the rest of the crowd as they watched you from a distance. 

Every now and then your conversation with Bucky would be interrupted by a message coming through his squiggly earpiece. 

He looked quite handsome tonight and by the outline of his biceps against the fabric of his tuxedo jacket, you could tell he had bulked up over the last year. 

“Madam Vice President had a run-in with the Prime Minister's wife. Turns out they’ve been dying to talk. She’ll meet you once the auction begins.”

“Oh, an auction, is that what this is? What endangered species are we saving tonight?”

“Funny,” Bucky added sarcastically, “... I don’t see your prince around. Perhaps he found another famous daughter to entertain for the night.”

You gave him a venomous look, “That cannot be possible when I look like this,” You emphasized your glamorous look that had taken nearly five hours to get on, “Now, would you please escort me to my table? I’m sure he’ll come and find me once you’re not standing beside me like a big tree.”

The truth was that you had no idea if Alden even remembered you from last year. He did make out with you but who knows how many famous daughters he had tried to entertain before. You hated how right Bucky seemed. 

Bucky didn’t add anything to your harsh words as he escorted you into a large ballroom. It was so elegantly decorated that the room smelled like money. Blue stripes of light wavered through the room making it feel like you were in the middle of the ocean. You couldn’t help that the feeling of drowning that she experienced was a bad touch on the organizer's part. 

Of course, your mother’s table was right near the front of the room. As Bucky pulled back the white chair, you took a seat, not meeting his eyes, “You’re dismissed, Mr. Barnes,” You spoke over your shoulder. 

To your surprise, he leaned down to whisper into your ear, “You cause any problems tonight, princess, and you deal with me.”

Your mouth pinched into a thin line as you were left speechless. When you looked back, he was already walking away, taking his position by the far wall. You looked away quickly, mentally cursing. So much for having the upper-hand. You slouched in your seat, looking around the hall which was now flooding with people. 

A few people you vaguely remembered having a conversation with approached you to talk. Hollywood celebrities, European politicians, and even famous designers hoping to get you to wear some of their designs. Lately, the paparazzi loved to follow you as you walked to class and gossip sites loved to talk about what you wore. 

Everyone was so busy trying to get your attention that you hadn’t noticed someone slip in the seat beside you, “You look like you need something to drink,” You were a bit startled but you immediately recognized his voice. It seemed a year had made him more handsome as well. With one hand he grabbed yours and kissed it and with the other he handed you a glass of champagne. 

“Your grace,” You greeted him, accepting the glass. You had almost forgotten that you could legally drink here. Despite that, you knew it would be improper to your mother. That’s why you took a sip, “Thank you so much-” You winced at the bitter taste but continued to sip. 

The young duke was tall and red-headed, his face peppered with adorable freckles. His royal get-up was even more attractive. 

You looked back at Bucky who was staring intently, “Is a night of fun in the cards for us?” You turned back to the Prince. 

“I’m not supposed to rendezvous with royalty anymore. My Mom was not happy with me.”

He leaned back casually in his chair, his leisurely nature was surprising to you, “Is she usually happy with you?”

“Touche,” You took another painful sip, “Still, I’m not supposed to leave this table and I’m supposed to go straight back to my hotel room. No funny business.”

“No shenanigans whatsoever?” He frowned and you wondered why the British accent was so heavenly, “You must, at the very least, keep me entertained through whatever ceremony this is-”

“An auction, your grace.”

“What endangered species are we trying to save this time? It won’t be enough money anyways since they decorated this place with literal diamonds,” You smiled as you saw him reach into his jacket pocket and pulled out a flask, “Something stronger, perhaps?”

+

Bucky tapped his foot, starting to tune out the voice in his ear. 

The room was now full of socialites, Madam Vice President had been escorted to her seat, and now the auction was beginning. The Vice President hadn’t so much as hugged her daughter so Bucky doubted she had noticed you were drinking yet. The young Duke would refill your glass with a clear liquid every time it ran low. 

You were now giggling and laughing with him as a serious speech was given. You had to be at least six shots in. You played with his hand in your lap, leaning over to whisper in his ear, as you had the time of your life. 

Bucky didn’t panic, only made a quick decision, “Girl Scout is in need of some rescuing. Clear the exit.” 

Bucky scanned the room and his men began to follow his orders, as he approached your table. Before you could take another sip of your drink, his hand was on your shoulder. Your mother flashed him a concerned look but Bucky gave her a look to tell her not to worry. Luckily, she hadn’t noticed yet that you were about to go off the rails. 

“Want some?” You smiled lazily as you lifted your glass. Bucky took it from you, setting back on the table. 

“I think you need to use the bathroom, Miss Y/L/N,” You gave him a confused look. You wondered why he was being so stern with you. 

“Nooo, I think you have the wrong woman, officer,” Bucky grabbed onto your hand, urging you up from your seat, “Let me deal with this rude man, your grace, I’ll be back soon.”

It seemed the Duke was in a similar, drunk state and simply replied with, “Return soon, my darling. I shall wait for your return-” You couldn’t respond because Bucky was trying to pull you away. Luckily, Bucky hadn’t managed to cause a scene but he knew you’d end up getting blackout drunk and embarrassing your mother if you continued. 

Agents flocked around the two of you as you were guided out of the room. You almost tripped on the long skirt of your dress though Bucky easily caught you. You held onto him, giggling, “You couldn’t make it one night, could you?” You walked through a long hallway, staff carrying large plates of food passed and stared. 

He brought you to the bathroom which was ginormous in itself, chandeliers hanging across the length of it, and completely empty, “I don’t think you’re supposed to be in here, officer.”

He leaned against the wall, “Walk around. Splash water on your face. Sober up.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning against the sink counter, as you stared at your makeup. As if you would ruin your makeup to “sober up”. 

You pouted, staring at him through the mirror, “I didn’t mean to make you mad, Bucky. Only my mother.”

“Your mother is my boss. When you upset her, she’s upset with me,” Bucky was terse, and you wondered where that soft side was starting to disappear to, “You shouldn’t be drinking anyway.”

You huffed, hating that this conversation was starting to ruin your buzz, “I’m not a child. Don’t tell me you never had a sip of alcohol before you were twenty-one.”

“You think you’re more mature than you actually are,” You couldn’t help the scowl that formed on your face, “You’re not drinking for fun. You’re drinking to spite your mother.” 

He moved closer, his hands behind his back as he sunk his words into you like a knife. You turned to him, taking a challenging step toward him. He towered over you but you clung to that anger and turned it to what you thought was confidence. 

You grinned up at him, reaching out to play with the buttons of his jacket, “I thought you knew me better, Bucky,” You looked up at him with longing eyes, “I’m not a little girl anymore and you know that. You look at me differently. Your eyes linger on places you shouldn’t even be watching.”

Bucky grabbed your wrist tightly, suddenly, “Stop,” You knew you had touched a nerve. 

“See, I know these things now,” You teased, “You like it when you can swoop me up and save me.”

“It’s my job, Y/N,” He spoke sternly. He was still holding you despite his words. 

“What is it that you really want from me?” You pressed yourself closer to him, “A kiss maybe? Or something more forbidden?”

His eyes were dark with lust and you watched them linger on your lips at the mention of a kiss. What exactly did you want from him and what hole had you just dug for yourself? The alcohol was giving you courage but you weren’t actually sure how to finish what you started. 

Bucky decided for you. He turned your body quickly, pressing your back into him, as a hand tightened around your throat. He faced you toward the mirror and the two of you were illuminated with bright lights. Your eyes widened as you watched him lean into your ear, “You’re such a brat ….”

Maybe part of him wanted you to mess up. Maybe he wanted a reason to get you alone with him and away from the royal douche that you were talking to. Maybe he let you get to this point ... 

“Bucky, what are you-” His hand tightened around your throat and you felt your knees go weak. 

He shushed you, “You asked what I really wanted. I want to punish you, princess,” Shivers went through your body as his warm breath tickled your ear, “I want to fuck you speechless so you can’t talk back with that smart little mouth of yours anymore.”

You started to struggle against you but you felt his fingers tighten around the sides of your throat. His hands were so big that they wrapped perfectly around your neck, “Hands on the counter,” He loosened his grip but only so he could push you forward. Like instinct, your hands held the sink counter. You turned your head to look back at him but he grabbed your hair, forcing your face forward, “Look forward, I want you to be able to see your pretty face while I fuck you.”

“Bucky, I’m sorry,” You forced out shakily as you felt the back of your dress being slowly unzipped. Through the mirror, you watched as he carefully took in the view of your body, “Please don’t hurt me-”

“Have I ever hurt you before?” He interrupted you, his hands traveling over your bareback, “I’ll always protect you, princess. I just think, if I’m going to keep doing my job, we need some new rules.”

The straps of your dress fell down your shoulder, exposing your breast. Again, as you tried to look away, he forced your face towards the mirror again, “Don’t be shy now,” He pulled down your panties, slapping your now exposed bottom, sending a stinging pain through your skin. 

There was aching between your legs and part of you feared what he’d discover when he took a closer look. As you watched him undo his belt, a dark look in his eyes, you knew that he was going to push you all the way. He slapped your ass again, watching your body convulse as you tried to run from the pain. Surprisingly, his intimate touch only made that aching grow. 

Upon closer examination, Bucky did discover the wetness between your legs. You bit down on your lip as his fingers roamed over your sweet spot, rubbing your sensitive bulb. You bent over further, allowing him more access which caused Bucky to smirk. 

Something switched in him once again because suddenly he was pouncing again, positioning himself behind you as he pushed you further against the counter. He wanted you to see his face as he entered you, roughly grabbing your hair as he teased you entrance with his hard, throbbing cock. 

“Please…” 

“Please what? You want me to fuck you?” You closed your eyes, unwilling to answer, only to receive another smack to your bottom, “Don’t worry about what you want, princess, I’m making the decisions here.”

He stretched you as he slowly entered you and you tightly wrapped around his member, “Fuck, Y/N,” He cursed, moving deeper inside of you. At that moment, he was all that could feel, and all that consumed your thoughts. He moved torturously slow in and out of you and you gasped every time he sunk his entire length within you. 

“Bucky!” You cried out, your mouth wide as you gripped the counter for dear life, “Ah, t-t-too big … p-please. Ah!”

He moved faster now, reaching around to grab ahold of your breast as he thrust inside of you. You called his name again and that only made him speed up his pace. He was torturing with his ferocity and now you wished he’d go back to taking it easy on you. You watched in the mirror as he split you apart, taking whatever innocence you had left within you, “Good girl, princess,” He praised you, “Taking my cock. So. Good.”

He was moving too fast now. With each thrust, he was hitting the right spot and sending pleasure in cascading waves through your body. You couldn’t take it, already tightening around his cock as you orgasm. You tried to run from it, trying to pull your body forward but he grabbed your arms, forcing you back onto his cock. Tears stung your eyes as he went even deeper. 

When he finally came, he grunted hard, his moaning deep and heavy. You were defeated, conquered, though you didn’t understand why being violated could feel so good. 

You leaned against the counter as you tried to catch your breath. Bucky ran his fingers through his hair, breathing heavily, before pulling up his pants and tightening his belt again. He adjusted his earpiece before looking at you over again. Shaking, you were pulling up the straps of your dress.

“Sober now?” He asked, a wicked smile on his face. “Let’s try yes sir and no sir from now on. Understand?”

“Yes… Sir.”

+

i love the whole secret service concept so i hope you enjoyed it too!

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