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fionajames · 5 months

Note

Hey!!! How’s the concussion? Hope it’s almost healed. How are you since the last time I’ve asked?

Requesting time: may I pretty please with a cherry on top have a story about an AU where the wars over and all our fav clones have been recognized as citizens and all have their dream jobs (what do you think they would be) please?

If that’s too hard, may I substitute it with a little story about Xi (I believe that’s his name?) the clone who got sick from one of my other requests and has a little crush on General Skywalker?

Thank you so much, hope you’re well, have a great day! -Sha 🫡

HI SHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

I MIGHT DO UR SECOND IDEA LATER, BUT RN IM DEAD

ok so guys, originally i was also gonna do headcanons for all my clone ocs and i wrote a few but gave up cause its been hours.

also, yes, normal dogs and cats and their various breeds exist in this.

have some headcanons:

(writing below the cut)

Overall

The Clones get like, idk imma just say money but basically they get a bunch of money to make up for not getting paid but especially to make sure they’re not gonna end up homeless.

Most Clones live in groups as it feels unnatural for them not too. (i feel like im doing a david attenborough documentary rn, read: ‘most clones live in groups’ in david’s voice, go check him out if you dunno him)

The Clones are then all ‘employed’ by the GAR (they’re not rlly given a chance, as the senate wouldnt fully permit them to just become civvies, padme, chuchi and bail as well as some others managed to negotiate this, which was the best why could do). This means they can have other jobs and are only called upon if there is a problem that requires them. Sorta like how the Jedi were before that, but different.

Most Clones move to planet Nay-Mets (an anagram of amnesty, i think this is funny because the definition of amnesty is ‘an official pardon for people who have been convicted of political offences’ which is kinda what the anti-clone people would think about them, so its like the clones r saying ‘we dont care what you think’ and owning it) - which I have made up. Nay-Mets is a planet of earthy terrain, with lakes and rivers running through it. Its beautiful, and had a sparse and small population until the clones arrived. The clones are careful with what they do to the land and care for it dearly. The Non-Clone civvies are very welcoming and help the Clones build homes and other things. They moved into a town that had been uninhabited for a year or so for no real reason. Only a month after the end of the war, Nay-Mets is busy and buzzing, with Clones and Non-Clones.

Bail Organa has become Chancellor and is pushing everything for Clone rights. Between him, Chuchi and Padme - plus some other senators - they’ve gotten good and better rights for the Clones.

Anakin lives with Padme on Naboo. When the war ended, he ended up telling Obi-Wan about his marriage who happily informed him the Council was changing the code to allow such things.

Anakin is off-world when Luke and Leia are born, but feels it through the Force. He rushes home (Obi-Wan orders him to, claiming he can finish the battle by himself) and cries upon meeting his children.

Obi-Wan visits Naboo before returning to Coruscant and immediately feels the tug towards Luke, who’s Force is a blanket of warmth and sunlight. Ahsoka comes as soon as Anakin comms her (which is pretty quickly, and rather excitedly) and upon meeting Leia, she can’t help but hear the raindrops and feel the moonlight she emits to her. Luke has a special bond with Obi-Wan, just as Leia has a bond with Ahsoka.

Even though Palpatine is dead, the events of the other seasons take place, but slightly differently. The battles that do take place (no way im specifying, i dont have the patience for that) are run by Dooku. He’s keeping the war going, but without Palpatine, it’s hard. He’s captured by Anakin, then Grievous is killed by Obi-Wan. Dooku goes to jail.

Ahsoka still gets the message from Bo-Katan and frees Mandalore. She captures Maul who is taken to trial and he is the reason that the trial against Fox finally proved him not-guilty (well, guilty but fairly).

Order 66 never happens (no shit) and the Kaminoans are ordered to de-chip every single Clone. They are taken to jail immediately afterwards. Some Clones remain on Kamino to raise the youngers, and Shaak Ti ends up taking control of the whole place.

During this time period, after the Kaminoans were arrested, the Bad Batch stumble upon a certain blonde girl hiding in a lab. Hunter - seeing no reason not to - immediately ‘adopts’ her.

Some cadets and baby Clones leave Kamino, but these are only ones who have an older Clone who has managed to snag legal custody over them. These guys aren’t very common, as they didn’t have much exposure to older Clones, but it’s not so bad.

Shaak Ti begins to make the Clones’ training intertwined with schooling, and also give them excursions off-planet. The young Clones no longer hate Kamino like so many of their elders did.

Alongside the de-chipping process, Clones are all given a vaccine that returns their ageing to normal, meaning they get to live normal, long lives.

Oh and Ahsoka is paid for helping Mandalore, so she’s no longer broke.

Rex

As soon as the war is over, Rex goes and visits Cut.

He isn’t really sure what to do at first, as he’s put his heart and soul into the GAR, and now he doesn’t have to.

He follows Ahsoka around like a lost puppy because she’s got more experience with civilian life, and frankly, he’s missed his sister. He does help Fives whilst he’s recovering from his trauma and as a result, it's Fives and Rex bunking at Ahsoka’s place for a bit (she pretends to be annoyed but she really isn’t).

Eventually she convinces him to take Fives and Jesse (who’s been crashing on her couch and making ramen at 3am for a few weeks) and go get a house. This is because the Clones are given… like, money, because they didn’t get paid during the war.

So Rex, Jesse and Fives get a place next door to the Bad Batch (including Echo and Omega) and end up knocking down the fence separating the two houses and building a hallway between them so it’s like one big, slightly separated house.

Rex slowly begins to relax as a civilian, but still is a bit too rigid. He’s the third person to meet Luke and Leia (aside from Anakin and Padme, ofc) - first being Obi-Wan and second Ahsoka. He’s utterly honoured but immediately uneasy, as he hasn’t had much exposure to children.

But Luke, with his mighty force connection, sees Rex and is instantly puppy-eyed, and won’t stop crying until his uncle holds him. This boosts Rex’s confidence a lot, and he finds himself visiting a lot.

Rex wears mostly hoodies and baggy/cargo pants. The first time he put a hoodie on, he did that thing where you pull it over your knees and curl up. He didn’t move for hours. Ahsoka went out the next day and put him a ton, mostly blue ofc.

His favourite hoodie is the custom one Fives got for him (although he’ll never admit it aloud). It’s blue and white - the 501st’s colours, ofc - with his jaig eyes on the front. On the back is his CT number, but with a line through it and below, his name. Fives says he wants everyone to know that they’re not numbers, they’re people. Rex cried when he heard.

Rex doesn’t get a job at first, and instead helps Fives, Jesse and Echo out in their cafe when needed. Eventually, he turns his farming hobby (something he’d picked up to use his time) into profit and attends the farmers’ market to sell products.

Echo

Echo didn’t really know when the war ended, until the Bad Batch came and rescued him.

Even after being sweetly reunited by Fives, he struggles mentally and physically, unused to being a cyborg.

He finds himself staying with the Bad Batch the most, because of his newly found troubles. When it comes to house-arrangements, he has a talk with Fives, and they agree to live separately, but everyone knows you can often find them in the other’s house anyways.

He ends up running a cafe with Jesse and Fives that becomes popular very quickly. His favourite thing to have is a hot chocolate with a choc-chip cookie, which he often does whilst reading a book at the counter.

Speaking of books, Echo is finally exposed to books, like, fictional books. Although others were shocked, Echo prefers fiction over non-fiction, as he likes the made-up stuff. He wishes desperately he had it growing up and with that thought, he and Shaak Ti teamed up to get the cadets and baby Clones on Kamino books.

Echo cries when he gets his custom hoodie. It’s like the rest of the Bad Batch’s with the grey, black, red and white pattern and ofc his crossed out CT number and name on the back, but there’s also a blue hand print where it was on his armour.

He wears his hoodie everywhere, much like Rex.

Other than his hoodie, Echo mostly wears baggy long-sleeved stuff in an attempt to cover his robotic screwdriver-thing hand. Anakin offered to get someone to remove it and replace it with a prosthetic hand like his own but Echo denied it. He's proud of it, but a little self-conscious.

Echo’s a lil more shy than he was before, but still his sarcastic goofy self. He buys a bike (bicycle) when he arrives on Nay Mets, and rides it everywhere. Its not uncommon to see him riding his bike through the hills at 6am.

Fives

Because of the whole ‘Tup’ incident, Fives’ mental health has deteriorated drastically. Rex is his biggest help, alongside Echo and as well as Jesse and Ahsoka.

Because of this, he goes with Rex when he moves into Ahsoka’s apartment temporarily. They basically get two mattresses and chuck them in an empty room, sleeping on the floor (on the mattresses tho) with blankets, but its so much comfier than their bunks.

Fives starts becoming his usual self a bit quicker than expected, especially when he arrives on Nay Mets.

He ofc runs the cafe with Jesse and Echo, and is the main drink maker. He makes the best milkshakes.

After a bit, Fives ends up assembling a group of Jedi and Clones to help him get hoodies for almost all the Clones. It takes a few months but with him learning to sew, dozens of others doing the same and various people across the galaxy being paid to make them, the hoodies are distributed everywhere.

He designs his last, and its pretty simple with the blue and white markings and his crossed out CT number and name.

Like most Clones, he prefers comfy and baggy clothes, wearing mostly hoodies and baggy pants. He develops a love for beanies.

Fives takes up electric guitar as his hobby, and thoroughly enjoys it.

When he first meets Padme, she hugs him and comforts him without a second’s hesitation. He cracks immediately and cries. She spends the entire day calming him and comforting him, and she’s self-employed herself as his unpaid therapist.

He returns to Naboo to visit Padme regularly, and his General, ofc.

To everyones’ delight, when Leia is toddlerish age and her rebellious side is evident, Fives becomes more like himself as he assists her in getting into trouble.

Anakin and Padme don’t mind having to clean off the noticeably washable marker from the walls when Fives starts laughing again. They’re grateful he’s getting better, and that he chooses to use materials easy to clean up.

Jesse

Jesse spends the first few weeks of his civvie life going absolutely nuts in trying to experience stuff.

He quickly realises that he has no home and ends up crashing on Ahsoka’s couch. She pretends to get annoyed at him when he constantly gets up at unholy hours to make ramen but she frankly is glad he’s doing well.

He’s the one to organise a house for him, Rex and Fives on Nay Mets.

He ofc runs the cafe with Echo and Fives, and he’s the cooking expert. He’s well known in the town for his delicious foods and alongside Fives’ excellent drinks, its what gets the cafe popular quickly.

His hoodie is the same as Fives’, but with his number and name, ofc.

It’s only been six weeks since the War ended when Jesse arrives home with a sheepish grin and a box that moves. He giddily reveals a black and blue merle mudi dog (such a cute breed, go google it, you wont regret) that he names Tundra. Tundra is rather quiet for his breed (never had this breed but during researching, it says the bark a lot, sorry if thats not true) but filled with energy and affection.

Jesse and Tundra are rarely separated. When Jesse has work, he brings Tundra. He either sleeps on the floor whilst watching or will go out to the fenced-in area through the dog door they installed in the cafe.

Jesse adapts rather quickly to civvie life and really enjoys it.

Kix

Kix has pretty mixed-feelings post-war.

He loves being a civvie but can’t help but find himself up late at night, waiting to attend to a wound of sorts.

At first, Kix is really anxious and uncomfortable with being aware from the battlefield. Jesse tries to get through to him but ultimately fails, as Kix needs alone time.

Anakin sees his medic in distress and tells Padme. She immediately agrees to let Kix live with them on Naboo until he can regain his footing, no matter how long that takes.

Kix spends his almost-three months on Naboo recollecting himself and then turns to Jesse, who immediately agrees to let him move in with him, Fives and Rex.

Kix ends up taking a job at the hospital, and instantly finds himself better footing. Its much easier for him after he takes up the job.

His hoodie is the usual but with his red medic symbol on the shoulder. He wears it as much as possibly, and thanks Fives almost daily for the gift.

When they were de-chipping, after he got his removed, Kix worked tirelessly to remove the other Clones’ chips. He was thrown a ‘thank you’ party afterwards by all the Clones he helped.

Cody

Cody’s immediate reaction is relief.

He’s just grateful the war is over.

The first few weeks he spends living with Obi-Wan (idc if you see this as a ship or platonic, basically the embodiment of the ‘and they were roommates vine’ tbh) as he doesn’t really have any where else to go.

Eventually, he moves to Nay Mets like many others, and takes Meerrt and Vick with him. They have a room for Obi-Wan which is used a lot more than expected, but they love having their Jedi over.

Cody’s hoodie is the usual, in yellow of course.

He spends most of his first few months reading and experiencing life as a civilian (alongside making the best cinnamon scrolls you’ll ever taste) but eventually gets a job at a kindergarten, of all the places.

Unexpectedly, Cody works really well with kids, and it really shows. He becomes an idol to a lot of little kids on Nay Mets.

Upon meeting Luke and Leia, he takes up a job as unofficial babysitter when Padme and Anakin need a break.

Cody wears mostly sweaters and cargo pants - like so many other Clones - and a golden bracelet with a sun charm attached. He doesn’t take it off.

He also starts learning violin, and really enjoys that too.

He’s one of the first to get de-chipped, and waits until his battalion have also been de-chipped to even leave Kamino. This is mostly because Obi-Wan got annoyed when he found out Cody wasn’t sleeping out of worry.

Wolffe

Wolffe’s immediate reaction was also relief, but in a sarcastic way. Like, ‘oh we’re finally done?!’ But deep down, he is super glad.

He stays with Plo and several others from his battalion before finding a place on Nay Mets with them. Plo lives more on Nay Mets than Coruscant, just like many other Jedi do too.

When he gets his hoodie - the usual but in grey with a small wolf symbol on the front - he breaks and grins, giving Fives a huge hug. But he then blackmails him into not telling anyone he did.

Wolffe wears his hoodie everywhere, rarely takes it off. He likes the ‘not a number’ statement that comes with it.

He also wears like thick, fluffy winter coats and cargo pants a lot, with the occasional bad-ass leather jacket.

He attempts to get a job somewhere, but can’t really find one that works, so he stays unemployed.

After a little while, Wolffe adopts a grey, male tamaskan dog (also beautiful, check it out, they look like wolves) he names Fang. Everyone thinks its hysterical he got a dog that looks like wolf.

Wolffe and Fang are also inseparable.

Wolffe finds himself enjoying hiking and does it almost daily, with Fang joining him. He finds it peaceful and enjoyable.

Fox

Fox is ofc the one who basically ended the war, or at least he majorly turned the tables.

He’s so relieved when its finally over.

He’s one of the first Clones to move to Nay Mets, and ofc Dhole, Vector, Menace, Dice and Bloodshot tag along. They live in one great big house.

Almost immediately, Fox impulsively adopts a ginger tabby she-cat he names Pumpkin. She’s a beautiful, silly cat and Fox has zero regrets in getting her.

He lets her be a very free cat as he feels bad for being any other way.

His hoodie is red and white with the usual and a fox symbol on the front. He loves sweaters.

He wasn’t really looking for a job at first, and eventually decided to stay unemployed.

Fox picks up piano as a way to calm himself, and grows to become a great pianist. He practises practically all day with Pumpkin sitting on his lap.

He regularly goes for long walks and takes Pumpkin, cause she’s that kinda cat.

Once there was an incident in town when a guy lost it and started shooting or smth and Fox just calmly tackled him (that's an oxymoron lol) and got someone to arrest him. He was really quiet afterwards.

When he got his chip removed, Fox became a lot more quiet for a little. This was because he could finally hear properly. When he had the chip, he always heard a little voice in his head, something he now knew was Palpatine.

OK IM DONE

MIGHT POST PT 2 LATER (A FEW DAYS)

PLEASE REQUEST THINGS PEOPLE, CHECK THE PINNED POST ON MY BLOG FOR INFO.

REQUEST ONE SHOTS OF THIS AU

REQUEST

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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thatonebabybat · 1 year

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Okay. Long rant ahead, but... I'm bothered by those ppl who use "SaYiNG GoTH IS A MUsIc SuBCULtUrE IS ABLEISt BC DEaF PeOpLE CaN'T LIStEN TO It--" as a reason for why they think they can call it an aesthetic or a fashion style. Like.

1. Blind people can't see aesthetics so what are you getting at here exactly?? Is liking aesthetics bad because some people can't see them? Your own logic is working against you here tbh..

2. The people saying this generally aren't deaf and therefore probably shouldn't be speaking for the deaf community. (I don't intend to either, so if you're deaf and reading this and there's something you'd like for me to correct or work on, please feel free.)

3. I'm sure most goths would be chill w a deaf person hanging out w them as long as they understand the history and are participating in the community in some meaningful way. Like, they might not be able to hear the music, but they may still be able to read/appreciate the written lyrics, or maybe they can't hear the music but they still enjoy clubbing and like participating in goth nights… And there are still deaf music artists so that's always an option too- Plus, some deaf people can still like music on occasion bc hearing aids have gotten really advanced, so to lump them all together as being completely unable to enjoy it at all is strange… There's a lot of ways a deaf person could still be able to chill in a music subculture. I don't think anyone is intentionally excluding deaf people from the scene. I would like to think most people would be understanding in that specific scenario.

..Doesn't explain why an able-bodied person with access to as much music as they could ever possibly want through the internet gets to totally ignore it though. I think it says a lot that these people are aware of their privilege to be able to listen to music and participate in the community in that way, but instead decide to use disabled people as a shield for why they shouldn't have to put in even a tiny bit of effort before claiming a 40+ year old subculture for themselves. They don't actually care about making goth more accessible, if they did they'd be subtitling music videos, or posting the lyrics and translations of goth songs to lyric sites, or making more efforts to make goth events more comfortable for disabled people… But no. It's just about them.

4. Even if someone decided being goth wasn't for them because they were deaf and couldn't hear the music, no one is saying you're a lesser person or "bad" somehow for not being a goth. Like. Deaf people can be goth. But becoming a goth isn't a requirement. If it's not your thing it's not your thing, but it does mean a lot to the people who have been in the subculture for a long time. If you like the fashion and not the music, just use another word for it (alt/darkalt is a personal favorite of mine, but there's other tags you can use too) and call it a day, no one's judging you for that. It's not like people who don't like goth music can't express themselves with fashion or moodboards, I'm fine with that. I like doing that myself. Just don't call it goth if it doesn't have anything to do with goth music. Don't flood a music tag with completely unrelated content. It's rlly not that hard. Idk why people get so hung up on NEEDING to use this one word for things that have nothing to do with that word. It's absurd the lengths people will go just to take over someone else's label when it's totally unnecessary.

I'd love to hear thoughts from the actual disabled community on the topic though. What do you think goths could do to make the space more accessible? How do you feel about these kinds of arguments?? I'd like to get to know more about the subject.

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starlooove · 1 year

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Saw a vid about supersons and Minecraft and it was so stupid and wrong what in the world makes you think Damian would be killing everything even in peaceful mode like wtf. Anyways here are some TRUE SUPERSONS MINECRAFT FACTS NOT CLICKBAIT 100% REAL (plus Colin bc he’s my son now)

-They argue about what mode they should be in: Damian argued for hard mode bc they’re built like that and jon agreed but he just wanted to fight smh. Colin was the only with common sense bc he knows they’ve never played Minecraft before and starting in hard mode would not only be difficult but boring if they won. They go normal

- Jon is the miner, Colin gathers the food, Damian builds the house

-Damian gets lost because he refuses to pull up coordinates and his memory SHOULD help him but he is so entirely laser focused on collecting materials that by the time he’s done he doesn’t even remember what biome he just came from 💀

- Damian goes above and beyond for the house ok; he will only mine for that, and Jon hates it bc Damian finds veins of like 8 diamonds and will only take enough for his pickaxe and axe. He will NOT share bc he needs a backup

-Jon spends DAYS in cave systems and he’s actually much better at finding mineshafts than anybody should be. He finds dungeons and dies immediately bc he turns the player around to inform Colin and Damian as if they’re all physically there

-Colin thinks it’s fair to keep inventory or go creative to get special loot back, Jon thinks it’s not. Damian didn’t care until he realized turning creative or cheats on means no achievements. The option is never considered again.

-Colin kills the sheep for the beds and a few chickens then immediately begins to set up the most intricate and complicated farm you’ve ever seen. Yes he’s a redstone guy. Understands it deeply in a way Damian and Jon are too scared to ask about. They always mine any redstone they see for him.

-Colin likes Diamond the most, Damian Iron, and Jon Gold (Damian tells him he’s stupid bc it provides 0 protection and Jon is like “but I look so good tho” and Colin calls him tacky

- Love villages and villagers and trading all of them

-Damian tames an iron golem. Nobody knows how and an investigation should be launched bc that’s not a game mechanic but whenever anyone asks Damian shrugs and the other two say “it could sense his gentle nature :3”

-They never actually defeat the Ender Dragon whenever it gets too close to that they find an excuse to create a new world and start all over bc they don’t rlly wanna finish it (they say they’re saving that achievement for a special occasion)

-Jon is Steve, Damian is Alex, Colin has a new skin everyweek.

-They find servers based off of cities and will pretend to be the cities heroes 😭

-Got kicked out of the Gotham server for calling their portrayal of spoiler inaccurate and refusing to change their skins (they were the birds of prey)

-Damián is currently building a whole BludHaven since there wasn’t one available. Hes going to leave it open where Dick can see so he doesn’t have to do something gross and mushy like go up and tell him about it

-Damian’s aim is TRASH in game and he can’t survive a single night. Not bc he can’t figure it out he just wants to have fun man he does not care about these mobs; if the house is already built and he’s just sprucing up the farm he will get killed over and over he doesn’t care

-try to go to bed at night but Jon is in the caves and forgot his bed, Colin died and lost all his shit before setting spawn so he has to find them now, and Damian doesn’t really feel like it bc Patricia (the chicken) is far more Interesting than a bed right now.

-Damian’s favorite mob is the spider and his least favorite is the creeper. Colin’s least favorite is the Zombie and his favorite is the Skeleton. Jon says his favorite is the creeper but it’s actually the Enderman, his least fave is the skeleton bc they ALWAYS kill him since he refuses to make a shield.

-Colin turned too fast and thought Jon outta the corner of his eye was herobrine. They abandoned that server immediately.

-Colin’s inventory is always overflowing bc he always thinks he might need literally anything he’s ever seen. Damian WOULD be the same way but he just has an entire chest room where he hoards everything. Jon does not care he will throw away a diamond pickaxe if the endurance bar is less than half bc it ruins the aesthetic. Never has what he needs when he needs it.

-none of them like going underwater but Damian and the only one who likes the desert is Jon. The only one who will go into the nether first is Colin (as in the other two will only go after Colin has torches, pathways, any signs of life in there. Matter of fact most of the time they refuse to go unless Colin’s found a fortress and made it easily accessible). They line up anything they need to get from these areas so they’re all branched off at the same time.

-Colin has an actual diary in game that he updates as if it’s real. Damian has one in Colins chest just in case someone else enters the server.

-Jon has 50 dogs and calls the cats too difficult and annoying to tame. Damian kills him. Colin has like 20 cats and is always begging Damian to get him more fish. Damian actually only has a few select animals as he prefers to let them roam around the yards he builds (catered to their home environments ofc.) noticeable ones include: Richard the Golem, Duke the bumblebee, Patricia the chicken and her mate Penelope, Joshua the horse, and Cassandra the parrot. (He has so many parrots guys it’s insane)

-none of them have the actual game sounds on they hate the music and it gives them all headaches. (Not projecting at all) They all listen to Lofi while playing or some shit. They have never gone a session without getting killed by a creeper at least twice.

-they tried to play hunger games once and they just got bored. Now bedwars and speedrun? That’s their shit. DO NOT play against them in hide and seek bruh they get together and start revolutions to kill the seekers they’re so annoying 😭 they’ve gotten banned so many times but they ask Barbara, and then Vic when she gets tired of it, to unban them.

That’s kinda it idk

Family bonus:

-They have one server where they don’t do much for friends and family to play. Nobody else is really all that interested in Minecraft but they see the kids playing and wanna fuck with em so 😕

-Jason’s a flower collector, he gets privileges bc he knows exactly which flowers Damian wants in front of the house and acts accordingly. Cass is this way when It comes to woods and Duke when it comes to carpets and paintings.

-Damian wants to let Dick play but he’s wary bc dick has been killed by Duke the bee so many times and his final straw was when Dick hit Richard the golem on accident and killed it instead of letting it kill him. He’s banned. Richard II was then tamed.

-Tim isnt banned but he doesn’t play bc he saw Colins redstone minecart rollercoaster thing when he was first starting and offered suggestions until Colin got fed up and chewed him out so bad he quit.

-Duke adds something new to the mansion (built by Damian and Steph who apparently has an eye for decor) everytime he goes and it always fits in seamlessly. He is the only sibling allowed on one of Damian’s servers that’s not the family one. He cherishes this. Dick could have the privilege but Damian still hasn’t forgiven him for Richard I.

-Cass doesn’t play often but when she does she LOOOOVES enchanting. She will do it for hours and get the best ones for their main armor and weapons and then really specific convoluted shit for fun. Her goal is to have one sword/chestplate/etc. for each enchantment available on item frames in the manor.

-Steph doesn’t fuck with Minecraft but she goes in to dye the sheep and change the names of everything. Damian bans her. She bribed Babs to let her back in. Damian names a cat after Barbara and snitches when Steph changes the name. Steph mentions that the cat wasn’t taken care of and was used for this purpose. They are at a standstill.

-Kon likes to blow everything up and he banned himself after he made Jon cry. He only goes into the server to fight mobs and give loot as a peace offering. Damian has forgiven him, Colin hasn’t.

- Clark and Bruce go in once and speedrun the entire game, defeat the ender dragon get every achievement etc. worst mistake bc the server is now creative friendly. There is nothing friendly about it.

-Every single person will get on Colin’s roller coaster and go “weeee!” The entire way. He’s flattered.

-The death count on that server is astronomical. Almost all of them are accidents.

#long post #SORRDY #also Dick did kill Richard on purpose #he is not sorry #he was jealous and he will kill Richard II if Damian lets him into the main trio server #has attempted to bribe Duke into doing it for him #Duke is not an idiot #supersons #batfam #headcanon

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wisteria-lodge · 2 years

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bird primary (in the process of creating a system) + burned snake secondary

Well. I read the fifth draft of all of this. You're a Bird primary, you are, I know you don't like them, but that's because you've got a definition of Bird primary in your head that's just... wrong. I know you're not reading my analysis, but you probably are going to have to read *an* analysis at some point, so pick someone whose style you like, and have fun.

As for secondary, yeah, you're burnt. That's actually the theme of this whole submission. It's in parts, misspelled, very hard to read, and has a whole lead in about why you're not trying and why you don't even care about this anyways. And I think that's actually the point. I expect in your head, there's a bit of 'If I don't try, I can't fail.' Which is too bad really, because you're clearly smart and creative. There's good in here. If it were a little more accessible, people would read it. But you ask me to write a clear paragraph summarizing my thoughts, and that's what I'm doing.

(Oh, and all your fantasies are very Snake secondary fantasies. So I figure that's probably what's underneath everything else.)

~ Wisteria

***

Sort me submission. full Version of final Draft. EMAIL me your thoughts please.

Final Draft-Read this whole thing, as it's the last one.Warning: I jump from thought to thought v. quickly, so every sentence may be a different thing.

some stuff, pls sort me if you can but know it will be taken as a guideline. also, pls add me to ur masterlist post smwhere as an ANONYMOUS person.

also sorry but i cant be bothered with grammar or spelling or punctuation or writing full out rn so pretedn this is a text message and it should be easier to decoed, especially with abreviations and punctuation and such stuff. i am really really really really really really sorry in advance for... well i dont really know why. plus one more thing or two actually before getting to it. i dont rlly know how tmblr works, like how do we communicate, can u answer, can i see posts, etc. just a word of warning, this will. no IS a series of ramblibgs and my own thoughts and dissections of my primary and secondaries. i did read your version of sortinghouse chats but i couldnt be bothered to adjusted any of my results accordingly (sorry abt that and no offence meant, i read your article and it was pretty good; i especially liked the way you analysed the different and most common forms each primary and secondayr can take.) Anyway, getting back to it. Just one last note/thing; this is the last thing/note, i promise you: I really dislike labels (im reluctanct to say/write hate bc no one should hate anything without a lot of whys and analysing how it feels, the possible reason for the felt hate and whether there's any other way) bc i feel/think/kbow/believe that they limit who i am and any potential growth. ive categorised primaries and secondaries as which i believe are my actual ones and why and the other three houses in models 1, 2 & 3, bc i connect with all of them in some way.

Finally, let's get to it!

I was really EXTREMELY stuck on primary, until (having read 1st Tiffany Aching Discworld book recentely) and finding my most personally relatable quote from that book online smwhere in pinterest with the Slytherin label and in the sortingchat (i mimssed a word, didn't i?) smwhere i feel inclined to believe that, being the selfish leadership-aspiring and valuing cunning in my top 5 values person i am, slytherin is my primary. however, let me break this dow further. if slytherin is my primary, then i include the whole WORLD in my loyalty bc i have a such deep loyalty and duty to the Earth and everyone in it because they are MINE and i used to be rlly jealous of anyone and anything that would take away MY world but i reason myself out of it now bc thats possessive and mean and cruel and bad but on the other hand this world and planet is MINE to protect and be selfish abt, but i also (sorry abt all the rambling) think ive kicked myself out of my circle of care bc even tho the world and this planet and this environment and these species and humanity and ppl are MINE AND MY OWN TO PROTECCT AND CHERISH aAND BE COMPLETELY SELFISH ABT (but selfishneesss is bad. no ti's not. yes it is. NO. IT'S NOT. It depends ow it's used and potrayed and the entire world is mine, my planet and my selfish spaec. well except myself bc all i ever do are bad things for other ppl), i am a horrible, terrible self-centered person that also smhow have a higher, more close-knit circle that im not in bc selfishness=bad and possesseviness= evil bc ur not allowing the others freedom and choices but i want to protect MINE and be selfish abt it but it's incredibly guilty too and.. im rumbling. too much said abt this, moving on. oh wait; but i could also want so much to be this primary that im ignoring my biases of wanting to have this primary bc it i relate to tiffany's quote so much and it soundsand is kinda cool (uhh, this is rlly hard to make sense of, even for me. sorry abt that. probably not even suited for the trash can, nvm a sophisticated and heartfelt profile like yours. ) ANYWAY i also feel like a gryffindor and hufflepuff primary smtimes, but that stuff comes a bit ater. i would say hufflepuff is my primary model 1 bc fairness is one of top five values and the idea everyone has inherent value because theyre ppl is pretty true. i find that i put myself down if i base my opinions of oteh ppl on how others think of them but have no problem putting them down myself after meeting and de-humanising them. absolutely hypocrtical of me.

according to me, (but i have an insiders perspective which isnt always the most claer. and ooh random thought: well done and thanks and i really like and really appreciate how you say smth nice abt everyone, no matter orting, on ur blog), gryffindor is my primary model 2 because authenitcity and integrity are good but hard to do but i dont think or know if id drop them, just like i dont know if id drop a slytherin's values (which i rlly cannot be bothered listing agin after doing so above. and wow, thank you for letting me rant to you, random person on the internet, in so many ways and on so many topics. anyway, continuing. ) its like yeah gryffindor values are good and maybe i used to feel them rlly well but i dnot think they go 100% with who i am but deinifnetely above 81.6% (not a random number, took time to come to this deliberaion of a decimal/percentage. wow so long and not even finished primaries yet. hmm, rnadom thought: i wonder what id feel and think and how id react if i was reading my own post thing on the internet without me having written it...)

anyawas, i think im done with gryffindor and cant find anything morw to say on it. for ravenclaw its just. no. not at all.

why would you find an external morality, based on sm stupid shit (sorry for the swearing, it just came out but i can change it if u wish) smone else came up with that u havent approved or u dont feel is right and that isnt ur own ORIGINAL "THIS/THESE ARE MINE" idea. like honestly (sorry for non-understanding. ha, one of my values is understanding yet i dont even try to do it with others. ) how can you bear to do that and live with urself? im rlly curious but also extrelemy confused!!??!?!?

okay, now seconds. slytherin doesnt feel rght either but it's the one that feels the most rigth and its weird but i dont why it feels the most right when whoever is reading this is probably thininh lioin but i think i cant do anything right (let's establish early on, my opinion= cheating is bad, v bad; for example like on exams and stuff. but rule-breaking is smtimes necessary and lying is good to stop others seeing u as who u truly are or upending their perspective of you as a perfect figure but it can be bad if it stops u from facing ur issues or managing them and can also be fun- like the time i convinced smone i didnt know brands existed in cars and thought they existed only for other thisgs like clothes and shops and toys and etc and in cars they were names and it was so much fun fooling that person and i still feel slightly proud of it but HOPE TO EVERYTHING desperately THAT THEY WONT READ THIS because that would ruin it and they wudlnt trust whtever i told them after that.) Anyways, im the least observant person on the planet anyways and dont think i could improvise at all in a topic i know onthing abt so maybe rapid-fire bird but im also kindof shy and embarrased of who i am so that factor into it and i have no idea why im telling a random stranger all this stuff but anyways.

secondary model 1- ravenclaw bc i want to imrpoviesse so badly its such a vuluable skill and generally fun and good way to problem-slove but im completely terrible at it and rlly clumsy and not brave enough to actively decide that i should be my authentic self through imrpovisation or competent enough to get the joy of it and then settle into a neutral state that encourages other to assume im anything other than a snake. how did this part end up being abt a snake secondayr rather than a bird? dont know, could know if i bothered to think abt it but dont actually care enough to cotemplate the possibilitiesof reasons why. if im delving into snake, i assuem i dnnt have anything else to say abt ravenclawand its tmie to move into the next model. oh wait one last thing: i want to improvise but am horrible at it so my first plan is to find as many references as possible to the thing i want to do then mesh them together in my own version to create a plan and then improvise and change the plan and its rules based on the outcome or/and situation. and collecting and becoming slightly proficient in different hobbies and info and subjects is kind of fun but also stressful but i nice place to relax and unwind and just search up random stuff im interested in and curious abt but it's more like a coping mechnaism used quite often now.

secondary moel 2- gryffidor bc i find that most times when i dont have enough data, i tend to bluster through it and stick with my cause without backing down but unable to back it up. however ive mostly noticed this either shows as ragged persitence and gulit and sense of failure when i get smth wrong or continuing ot argue for smth, when i dont rlly believe in it or would rather get more data or would prfeer to manipulate us out of this situation but ofc mnanipulation is evil but i...i...i... i likre it and it's the best way and by extension reading each others body language and position others is evil bc it doesnt give the freedom bc im manipulating them into thiking that way but on the other hand i could be a bird bc of specific language uses such as "data" and "fist plan" above, even tho those are only two factors of it. its like i wanna be special, a chosen one but at the same time i konow am not and can never be bc im not good enough or observant enough or socially daptive enough or myself enough or soccially aware enough especially of specific sociopolitical undercurrents that influence most things (not everyone and everytihng because v.few thigs influence absolutelu EVRYTHING) or empatheic enough or clever enough or cunning enough (whats the difference bweteen clever and cunning wanyways, except for cunning having a more negative connotations/misconception?) or too blunt which i know i have to be bc... ... well i dont rlly know, or too tlkative which stops others from voiving theri opininons (and hionesty, good luck with this and sorry for dumping this mess of a text/explanation and my mess as person on you) just generally a person atl all or eeven just human, quite often feling alien.

secondary model 3- i fell like hard work is important and maybe i used to do it but ow its a no can do thing for me nucless it really REALLY important, bc theres other more important values and it would and could be good but am a terible person anyways and ... i guess i show up at things but life is more than just showing up. theres got to be a method to ur madness (and wow, ddi i rlly just say, no, write that?) life is more about taking charge behind the scenes then exploiting it for the good and making everyone see you're their best option for leadership (if it's actually true, bc smtimes it's not and there are others better suited) bc of cunning and bravery and creaitivity and compassion and empathy and logicality in one neat package, when im not being a selfish person who foolishy and mistakenly believes they can take care of all that is MINEEEE! and ive probably maade this very confusinf gor you but dont u worry its evry confusing for myself as well, actually.

tahnk you for reading this and enjoy your ilife and sorry for the absolute mess that is this piece of writing.

ohh, and please list clealry the resullts at the very end of the discussion to reiterate them, if possible bs ive noticed that u dont frequently do that on the masterlist published articles and its annoying bc i find myself having to scroll up and untagle your complicated wordings of stuff which is quite tedious and erllay annoyong smtimes. thanks for crreating this website, and i hope you have whatever dreams you want to have in your sleep tonight and that you follow your real-life ones as well.

update: from reading ur analyses of buffy world i relate to following passage sooooooooooooooooooooo much. :

"Her threat to Ben/Glory is “If she ever comes near me and mine again (but without the me, bc im not worth it but my people are my and my responsibilty alone and i will protect them and be selfish abt them and absolutelu worth it, but i dont know what to do abt it bc the world is so bug and its quite selfish to waste so much time and energy into improving it, and quite hard but. it. is MINE.) and i guess ive kinda kicked myself out??!?!)….” It’s a Loyalist primary talking. Sure Buffy talks about the Slayer destiny like it’s her Gryffindor Cause, but really she’s out there to protect her people. And when those people betray her, it’s like the ground under her feet disappears. Buffy at her lowest is the scarred-up loner from Cordelia’s “Wish” vision: a Petrified Slytherin who doesn’t “play well with others,” waiting for something to kill her. An isolated Buffy is an unhealthy Buffy, so her arc is about the way her inner circle expands. When we first meet her, priorities are self-care (good hair, pretty shoes, cute boys, a place on the cheerleading squad) and maybe her mom. Buffy starts to include the Scoobies, then the Scoobies’ people, then Dawn, until eventually she’s a general leading the Potentials. She’s on her way to deciding that the world is her people, an it’s all her responsibility. "

except im not my responsibility because.. well im a bad person who shoudnt have responsibility to or for myself, rlly.

but the people i used to be... well, most of the wre and still are better versions of me and my future will evolve me as a person until i am the person i could be. - just weird thought that i noted down bc i dont get hoew others think that when you change you remain the same person. you dont. also, its weird but, more generally, the world is in my nner circle but i have levels of relatoponships!!???!?!?? as in not worth knowing, acquitancee, interesting person/want to know/ could know/ could become best friends with because of good mix of similarities and diferences an those in my elevated inner circle that id actually trust and those in my full and complete inner circle that are all my responsibility, that i should try pushing them to improve and beetter myself and that i should protect bc they're mine. not me and mine, just mine, possesively and agressively. p.s. i should probably mention, i think both my primary and secondary are burned, whatver they are bc no primary feels completely natural or smth i should be doing (but slytherin is the closest to feeling right) and i dont think im competent in anything rlly or good at anhthing much, outside of my opinions bc the questions is now to you= how would you sort me? for more information, email me. thanks and & bye. Update: plus one more, hopefully, last thing. i feewhi dont rly know how to write this but is it possible to have the world as in my inener circle but not have all the ppl in it? like have he world itself and select ppl, bc that is what i do much more than having all the world's ppl as well as the world. the part i rlly relate to iabt tiffaniy's quote is the tuurn selfishness into a weapon thing because even tho its bad its a good and essential part of who i am that i dont want to change even tho i can and could if i wanted because selfishness as a weapon as tiffanny uses it is inerehtely extremely powerful and feels right. like inistead of blaming myself for selfishness, keep it and adjust it to who i am so it feels like it should feel. and also maybe hufflepuff mprimary model 1 bc i realise that , yse while i do relate to its fairness, i think the best way, not necessearaley the right way but the best and most practical and applicapale the way ppl will actually listen to and respond is hte hufflepuff primary and i relate to its fairness and inherant value that each person has but its like i know it's ot me but i feel pressured to make that me in a way??!?1!! if that makes sense. thanks a lot and hopefully last update. oh and if ppl not in inner circle leave i dont care (and usually when picking new friends, it means i have observed them for a while and found that i relate to most of what they do and eventually approach them and after a couple of conversations think this mine from now on no one will harm them (or if they do, i find myself thikning of how to get revenge without being caught and if theyre an important enough perosn, evetually accomplishing it. ) and if ppl in inner circle try to annoy me i mostly ignore them if im healthy and in a good place and if they attack mine or am feeling particularly bad that day, then i will call them out on it like its my cause but fairness is mine not a specific cause. bye, thanks, sorry for the many updates and enjoy ur day!!!! P.S- if i was u, I'd wait at least a day before analysing bc i may send more updates as they come into my mind and/or i experience circumstances. also, one time i was remembering the time my dance teacher taught us some history abt the dance, where the all the men soldiers were killed by the enemies and the women self-sacrificed themselves and their children so they would never be forced to go in the enemy's army but even tho i can understand that last part, i cant relate to it bc in their positino i would pretend to be loyal to the enemy and get high enough to be able to kill the metaphorical head of operations and eventually lead a resistance behind the scenes wit all the information i would have gained as a "loyal" prisoner, but that would probably not succeed bc im not a competent

enough actor or that comfortable abt putting on a mask or good enough at sensing undercurrents in social interactions so i would get captured and put to death for treason in that nacient environment and i woudnt have been able to gain revenge for mine who had all self-sacrificed or help whatever left of my people; but when my acquitance asked abt it i said it was a school history project bc i didnt want them to know that i did dancing or was at all much physically active both bc that doesnt suit my cultivated image of an academic-bookworm nd my friend isnt that physically active and bc i like my projected image is good bc it causes others to undersitame me. and idont rlly factor rules into my plans ( hmm, maybe ravenclaw smth?) or in my adjusted on the spot ones or in anth rlly, i break rules when neccessry for smth or think its unimportant compared to why i break it but i dontgo out of my way to do it. anyway thanks again and bye and so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry a gazzilion times over for breaking my promise before and not remembering to copy final version into this and rlly especially sorry or this confusing mess of a ruminating rumble turmoil, clutter, uddle an barely coherent mishmash of thoughts. Update-here was a period of three years when i trusted absoluely no one bc i thought i shouldnt trust anyone since theyre all using me and no one rlly cares anyone and i dont have anything to offee them anyway nor can i let anyone see me or be truly close to me otherwise I'll hurt them or they'll betray me or both. Then i grew curious abt what my sibling was doing woth the neighbour kids and went to see and now after five years i semi-trust them but i dontvknow how or why they care abt me or being my friends since all i can do is hurt them. And we dont interact at school so im rlly lonely there most of the time bc even tho subjects r interesting and the reading and writing and hoework/studying and irganising and other stuff i do at break is absorbing and necessary it would be awesome tk have a companion, someone i could truly open up to eventually, who sees who i am and acceprs it without pity or endorsement. and even tho ive been lycky in the neighbor friends i feel so lonely and removed and isolated and alien everywhere also and im pushing everyone away more intently than that zero-trust-period and i dont know why or how to change that but im so tired of veing lonely so i approached an acquaintance thats on "possible bff", "could make great friend" and "to become froends with somewhen because theyre interesting and have 3+ similarities ans some differences from me " lists and i thought for a whike what the best approach would be but its eight years abd i miss having friends at school and im so tired of being alone and the constant itch of loneliness that i opted for the vlunt apprtoach to see how they react and simply sat down next to them and asked if they wanted to be friends. (last time i used this tool/technique 7yrs ago, everyone on the grp stroll laughed at me when i asked and kept on looking at me with those 'oh that was so cute' glances and pitying looks so i havent been proactive in friendship-making since then.) And it is going well a couple of days later; our conversations are fun and engaging and thought provoking and meaningful and i feel close to that person, like ive weve been conversing for months instead of days even tho i smtimes think the person might hace been better of without me bc i dont know if im at all loyal rlly and truly or if i actually even contribute to the relationship at all but life was generally so much harder and more tiring and flavourless without smone i could hang out with but am u even rlly building thisrelationship for them or just me and my pathetic loneliness? Lifes so much easier and fuller and brighter with close friendships- someone there for u, hoping they stay bc they care and telling them when ur in a bad place or the days not goingvwell and u hope desperately they react... appropriately. Its just so hard to trust when u know they

could be playing or manipulating u without u even knowing and especially when, in my opinion, theres not that much of a reason to maintain a friendahip with me bc i dont thinkni count as a reason, i start to wonder and search for their true motive. Plus if im responsible for that possible friend, i might fail in that responsibility or hurr them or forget smth meaningful to them or something else worse that i cant come up with rn. today, me and that person (friend?) couldn't meet at school's break and i felt so lonely and lost. i did find them afterwards and they explained they were finishing a project but still, such a close attachment from me in that short a time period feels weird and unnatural but the attachment itself feels and is calm, joyful, interesting, happy, engaging, serene, peaceful. still kinda awkward but we're getting there.

Update- A couple of new conclusions/possibilities I could also be a burned gryffindor primary with an extremely strong slytherin model or gryffindor primary with slytheirn ideals because i find myself writing and saying "i feel this" and "I feel that way abt this" and i check to see if things feel/sound right. i could also burned ravenclaw with a strong slytherin model. burned bc of what i think abt that house but i doubt it bc it doesnt feel right or me at all. lastly i could also be burned hufflepuff bc i dehumanise whole grps of ppl but i dont like doing that and dont want to do it, so im slwly stopping bc ppl should be judged on who they are not who others perceive them as and prefer/am comfortable with a small amount of friends and a limited inner circle of humans and tho i dont rlly trust the world it is still mine and i have a responsibility towards it. and yes, i would feel slighlty guilty if i abandoned a stranger in need for a friend in need but i owe mine my loyalty and help and advice and anything i can give or do or sacrifice for them; i also know that friend well so im the one that should and will help them and i'll make time for the stranger in need later, once and if mine are compltetly 100% fine and sorted out. and if anyone ever harms my inner circle of humans that i love (platonically or/and familially), respect, admire, value, trust (tho i dont nkow when that creeped up on me, bc i shouldnt trust others; its an easy way to get hurt or betrayed) and feel responsible for, what i call my "demonic anger" comes out. i named it demonic bc it feels so fiery and dark and pitiless and blazing and mercenary and ruthless and scorching and merciless and fierce that even those who its used for their defense/protection back away and cant bear it to stay friends with me, mocking/deriding/ridiculing me in front or/and behind my back and im afraid of that scorn and jeering but also afraid of trusting and my anger but these past few days of approaching that person at school and actively deciding to choose to trust smone again... they've been heaven on earth. Final. Couple of last thoughts before stop sending updates and wait for you to email me back.

28.3.2022 today, me and that new friend asked each other the question that if your closest person was a murderer that killed 50 ppl and was now badly injured, would you leave them to bleed out? no, i said, i would try to stop the bleeding because yes justice and fairness have their neccesery situations and are all well and good but what about the preson themselves andd how well you know them and ur responsibilty and the way they depend on you for smth/smths and the selfish way that u need them too? and then take them to a hospital anonymously and stay with them and try to reform them and understand why they became a murderer and if it can be helped aand even if they keep murdering others, they must eventually realize it's wrong, correct? and i will encourage thm to stop murdering others and i might call the police but if they are treated badly, iw ill btrak them out. and i think im slowly unburning my slytherin primary bc im gradually trusting my human inner circle of 5 and those who are gradually building up to that inner circle with more quantity and more true info and more accurate info abt me but im still not completely there and generally trust must be earned from the ground up, so i dont trust others the general population. but it can also decrease from zero to negative (dehumanisation or cotmept or dislike). but i know that i dont deserve to be in my inner circle because i often hurt ppl and am not good enough for them anyyways. i want to be a gryffindor bcuz a moral compass is right and morally correct and it's what the other gender is constantly told to be so i break stereotypes if im a gryfindor primary but hufflepuff is good ecause networking is a compulsory tool for my ambitions and if iwant any of my projects to succeed and its fairness is good but unrealisitic and impractical because ti cant and shouldnt be applied equally but to those who you do the following: trust, repect, admire, feel comfortable with, can drop any and all disguises and pretenses whiel with thee, and can and do talk to them about everything including difficult topics and it's almost never awkard and you can just relax and have funu adn allow yourself to hope they wont judge or criticise or betray because if u dont take that first step they wont either, so u have to be strong and brutally honest and just take that first step in trusting smone and showing them the staircase to ur human inner circle where i would hide their crimes and try to understand why if they make it even a third of the way up that staicase and into the first level of trust as a metaphorical staircase landing with a door for them to get out of staircase if, on that first examination they'll undertake, they fail. but that landing's door will become glass through which we can peek into each other's life and knock on to answer the door if they need me for smth bc i still have a slight responsibilty to them but htey have almost nil chance of entering staircase again unless they change dramatically and dont fail a more intense but shorter series of 3+ tests bc theyll almost certainly betray/fail me again.

#submission #sortinghatchats #sortme #wisteria sorts #bird snake

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hueningshaped · 2 years

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first of all your emoticon for me,,,,,, about to make that become my whole personality😈 also i realized later on that yours should've been with a heart instead,,, the heart just doesn't do you justice you literally radiate love😾 ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊ the only right way!!!😌 the soobin tweet??? why does it look like a mugshot😭😭 but working feels like being imprisoned so it's very on theme ig😐 ofc beffie let's go txt did not create run away for us to just live in these conditions!!!!! stop it i'm lit erally blushing and giggl ing rn.......... ur NOT evil!!!!!!!! i know that you always need to set aside some time to reply!!! you know i will always wait for u💘🫂💖🫶🏻💓 no because the "SICKENING" combined witch the crutches emoji had me laughing so hard😭😭😭 i can't believe instagram would do that to me though. currently walking towards zuckerberg's office with pitchfork in hand😾 i'll send a ss of it along with this ask!!! i get it beffie i always put off listening to new songs for sooooo long😭😭 the only group i follow really closely is txt but the 4th gen girls seem soooo lovely and they're doing so well too!! i still remember when the 3rd gen girls were basically fighting for their lives bc nobody gave them a chance but nowadays they are ON TOP!!! i like ive's music and they seem like such sweet girls too🥹 aside from them i also listen to stayc (run2u and stereotype,,, i'm kissing the forehead of whoever made those songs!!!!) and aespa (i usually don't like their songs (not illusion though!!! absolute banger🫶🏻) on first listen but somehow i hear them everywhere until i get obsessed with them🧎🏻) plus newjeans seem to have very good music!! but i've only heard snippets so far and i'm kind of intimidated by their age they're still babies to me i can't believe how young idols are getting😭😭 NOOOO THE VIDEOS tyun really just left him to fend for himself😭 choi line is so unserious i'm pretty sure they've convinced themselves that bickering is as important as oxygen🤨 AND THE SOOBIN VID you're so right that IS us!! OFC I LISTENED TO THE CB!!!!!!! as expected from txt it was a masterpiece🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 ESPECIALLY RING oh m ygod ring,,,,,, it has been on repeattttt along with hitori no yoru!!! and the mv😧😧😧 it was so different from the korean version and the theories about it are so😵‍💫😵‍💫 what about you beffie!!!!!! here is the first the second and a third one to add onto the one you sent me!!! take care and give ur cats a kiss from me I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!

🤯❤️‍🩹⁉️⁉️ oh my god it’s literaly ben 9 days:?.?.?.!:!2&2&!/:!;! i feel like this is the first time ive been able to breathe for a little hehe :( anyway sheesh…… (im pathetically sorry btw, like very very very sorry) nono the hearts (+sparkles) are for YOU !!!!!! u radiate love 😿 it’s all you for heaven’s sakes… a lotta bit of this .˚ * ⊹ • and ♡ᐝ and boom = APPLE, everything good and nice in this world :”) yes.. work = prison. i want out 🗣 !!!! i think… i think that i’m going to try (as much as this wrenches my heart) to make messages more concise(?) at least in an efficient way so that it tricks my brain into making me answer them first before doing all my stupid monotonous tasks (idk why im set up this way 🥺 wish i could change) i just feel like im making things 100x times worse by doing nothing *cries* anyways i say this all the time so it’s pointless i suppose hehe you’d think by now i’d get myself together 🥺 nyway the last of my intentions was to just take up all my talking with my deprecation anyway haha anyway omg we mob zuckerburg’s office together ? im Down 🥹 (that picture is so funny omg ty 4 sending it to me) twice runs this world <3 twice world domination omg i enjoy those groups’ music too !!!! tho i rlly rlly love stayc im a swith 🫀 moaswith before human hehe and ahhh txt vocals in both songs?!2!2?2?3’!2!2! really appreciate the way soobin’s voice was used 🫶 good job kings 🫶 i cant even make up my mind on what really happened in the music video agh i kinda love it when something is sooo open ended that it can fit multiple theories and there’s room for it to be looked at differently through different perspectives idk the human mind is so :0 when u think about it… at the end of the day we’re just ants on a log idk 😧 i havent a clue as to what has happened since we last spoke since i feel like ive lost track of the entire world it seems 😔 imwsorrymmmm let’s see…. anything new that’s happened in ur life ? 🧐 anything that ur looking forward to or that you’ve got coming up ? 😿 i’d lov to know <3 also one thing i know is selugi solo cb *cue gasp* was there any of the rv solos that you liked more than the others ? i have to know or ill implode jk hehe also i still haven’t seen the new season for talk x today but camping with beomgyu ??? 🥺 sounds so nice hnckdjffjf AND UR LINKS!!1!1!2! ty for forwarding the penguin hyuka agenda 🫡🫡🫡 im respectfully devastated 🫡🫡🫡 the soobin tweet for some reason glitched my phone out so bad i had to restart my phone rn haha made me giggle thanks soob <3 never a dull moment with u guys and the third one disappeared ☹️ nonetheless i hold it all very dear and close to me thank you 🥹 always for thinking of me so nicely though i don’t deserve it ! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’s…. You rock 🫶 these yeonkais are so adorable ouchies 😭 ur links for this 📫: beomgyu cat 💔 bg’s duality 🙀 the snow just like we want 😿😿😿 and us probably in an au and um here’s a song for you that ive become emotionally and physically attached to anyways… i think im rambling and contradicting myself so badly i feel like a dog that tore up a sofa while its owners were gone wjhfjsjfjsjjfj anyways. Bottom line is… i adore you and i truly hope that things have been going well for you and will continue to do so and if you are encountering a rough patch it shall pass <3 and you won’t have to endure it alone for i love you and am here for you

#ask >3<#i might have cried #i have a stye so i cant see that well rn omg #[❤️⭐️]—aquí te amo

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seita · 4 years

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― they take your virginity.

ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs: ʙᴀᴋᴜɢᴏᴜ, ᴛᴏᴅᴏʀᴏᴋɪ, sʜɪɴsᴏᴜ + sʜɪɴᴅᴏ.

can i request a headcanon of bakugo, todoroki, shindo and shinso taking his s/o virginity... idk if you write about virginity but I’m just soooo curious and I like your headcanons ─ anon

⤑ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝. | 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

»» ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ««

i absolutely write about virginity! thank you so much, i hope you like these as well!

― katsuki bakugou.

≻ he’s definitely got some experience. ≻ he’s more of a relationship kinda guy vs a one night stand type. ≻ so when he says that he can wait for you to be ready, he rlly means it. ≻ he’s had to wait before and he’s cool with it. ≻ he doesn’t need to have sex by any means. ≻ tho it’s rlly fun and he finds it much easier to show his love and affection physically rather than verbally ≻ it’s fine. your happiness comes before his dick. ≻ so when you finally tell him you’re ready, he’s excited!! ≻ like he can finally show you what he’s been holding back. ≻ he wishes he could say he was gentle but ≻ gentle truly isn’t in his nature. ≻ he’s a rough kind of guy, it’s who he is to the core. ≻ but he makes sure you’re prepared with extra lube and everything. ≻ it may not be the soft, sweet candlelit first time girls often daydream about ≻ but it’s exhilarating and pleasurable all the same. ≻ he does his best to make sure you feel good every second of it. ≻ your pleasure comes before his and he works extra hard to make you feel good. ≻ afterwards, he makes sure to take care of you. ≻ you can give him some criticism if you’d like but he won’t particularly ask you anything beyond if you enjoyed it, if you’re okay, and if anything hurt.

― shoto todoroki.

≻ honestly it’s probably his first time as well so he’s a bit clueless. ≻ he never really dated in highschool and then when he became a pro, his schedule became so busy, he just never really got to properly date. ≻ plus there were a lot of women who just wanted the bragging rights of fucking Pro Hero Shoto. ≻ and when he rejected them, they typically bailed because they weren’t getting what they wanted. ≻ it hurt his feelings a bit but when he found you, he was amazed. ≻ you had laid it out for him that you didn’t want to have sex with him because you were a virgin. ≻ and he was more than happy to go along with it, revealing he was too. ≻ which was a shock because like ≻ top 5 hero and incredibly good looking? ≻ as a result, your relationship wasn’t built on physical intimacy beyond kissing. ≻ it wasn’t until the two of you were dating for a while that you finally came to him to let him know you were ready when he was. ≻ he was nervous, to say the least. ≻ as a result, the first time is a bit clumsy. ≻ he’ll constantly ask you if you’re okay and what he should do next ≻ you obviously know your body better than he does so he’ll touch you were you indicate you want ≻ or touch where it seems you like it the most. ≻ “right theres” or “that feels good” goes a long way with him. ≻ he’s a fast learner so by the end, he’ll already have picked up on a lot of important things for future use. ≻ he’s more concerned about you so he’ll reject anything where you offer to touch him or suck him off or anything. ≻ save that for a later date. ≻ he truly just wants to focus on you. ≻ afterwards, he’ll just hold you and silently cuddle with you. ≻ he’s a bit embarrassed and shy ≻ so wait a while before talking about it with him hehe. ≻ he’s also a little insecure, scared he didn’t do as good as he thinks he did and you were faking it or something. ≻ reassure him a bit and all will be well. ≻ he’s willing to learn everything necessary.

― hitoshi shinsou.

≻ being your first is not something he takes lightly at all. ≻ he doesn’t let it get to his head nor does he think of it as some ego boost. ≻ for him, it’s important because he knows the first time can mold your entire outlook on sex for the future. ≻ he thinks it’s sweet you’ve been saving your first time for so long. ≻ where most people lost theirs in highschool, you never fell into that trap ≻ instead, you waited for a steady relationship before deciding. ≻ and it just so happened pro hero hitoshi shinsou was The One. ≻ and he was entirely grateful that you trusted him like that. ≻ he’s sweet and slow with you definitely. ≻ he wants to make sure it feels good and intimate for you. ≻ this isn’t him fucking you to get either of you off ≻ he’s doing this to make you feel appreciated, safe, and loved ≻ after the two of you get used to having sex he’ll start bringing his normal rougher dominant side into it ≻ but the first few times are filled with hand holding, slow caresses, and deep thrusts. ≻ he makes you cum but doesn’t overstimulate you. ≻ he doesn’t want this to be a more overwhelming experience than it already is. ≻ afterwards, he’ll talk to you endlessly and provide pretty thorough aftercare ≻ he’ll take a bath with you and massage your body to ease away any aches ≻ he’ll ask what you did and didn’t like and promise not to do anything again if you didn’t like or files it away if you did like it. ≻ he’ll hold you close and give you sweet, chaste kisses while telling you how much he loves you and thanks for you trusting him.

― yo shindo.

≻ he’s had the most pussy out of all of these guys. ≻ he’s a one night stand type of dude when he’s single. ≻ and he’s pretty hot and charasmatic. ≻ and strong. and a pro. ≻ so he’s got ladies lining up for blocks for one taste of his dick. ≻ aaaand he’s taken his fair share of virginities as well. ≻ but when he gets with you and learns how you’re just not ready at all ≻ can’t lie he’s a bit bummed ≻ and he honestly thought the relationship wouldn’t last bc he didn’t think he couldn’t live without getting his dick wet ≻ and he may be kind of a jerk but he’s not a cheater by any means so no worries there ≻ but then he realizes how much he actually really likes you ≻ to the point he doesn’t even think twice about the fact the two of you can’t have sex. ≻ but once you do let him know you want to go that final step ≻ oh boy, he is hard in his pants so fast. ≻ he’s experienced and calm. ≻ he knows what he’s doing and he’s confident as well. ≻ he’ll finger you and eat you out. ≻ he’ll draw out foreplay until you’ve cum a few times before putting his dick in. ≻ he won’t let it last too long because he knows you won’t have the stamina for it. ≻ so it’ll be over quicker than he usually is ≻ but you’re grateful bc even the foreplay wore you out. ≻ afterwards, he’s pretty lively. ≻ he’ll joke and tease you a bit ≻ but he means no harm, he’s just trying to get rid of the intense tension left behind. ≻ when you’ve fallen asleep, he’ll turn into a big softie and whisper sweet nothings that have been on his mind the entire time while you can’t hear.

»» ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ««

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moonandflowersfairy · 2 years

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breath, love // rindou x g.n! reader

genre — hurt / comfort

warnings — breakdowns, crisis, implied panic attack

wc — 578

request — Hii ! I go by J , i saw your requests are open so i tought i might try to request . I apologise if my request mde you uncomfortable in any way or if it doesn't make sense- Could i request a hurt/comfort scenario/headcanons ( whatever ur more comfy with ) with eighter Sanzu or/and Rindo ? Ive been pretty overwhelmed lately because i have extra classes and my grades are rlly bad- Im allways exhausted and i can barely get any sleep or even eat . So maybe the character comforting the reader after they break down because they feel like they're not good enough and because their parents r putting a lot of pressure on them ? Again i apologise if i made any spelling mistakes or if what i wrote dosent make any sense ! Feel free to ignore my request if it makes you unconfortable or if you dont want to wirte it !Thank you and have a great day/night !

A.N — Im so sorry for not posting this earlier J, I was going through something similar and honestly I didn't have a mind for anything, hope you are better and lots of light and love to you <3 (I don't write for Sanzu, excuses in advance)

he came in the afternoon, closing the front door of you house, heading straight to your room. he was late and he knew it, everything he wanted was to be with you but business came accross and he could not ignore it.

sobbing could be heard feet away from your door, panic started to arise in his body and when he open the door he almost cried, the sight of you shattered his soul in pieces, your eyes were puffy, your lips and nose were red from crying, tears streaming down your face uncontrolably, you were holding your chest, sign that you were having problems breathing. he almost froze in that moment but you were more important, he inmediately went to you, holding you in his arms, he started counting from 1 to 5, trying to get you to follow him.

you felt somewhat ashamed of your state, this had happened to you a few times before but never in front of someone else, and you didn't want rindou to find you in that state, vulnerability is difficult to show, you were a mess, a 'controled mess' as you liked to say, it wasn't necessary for him to see you in this position you thought, everything was under control you thought, but you couldn't be more wrong.

incoherent words came out of you plus the fact you couldn't properly breath. you followed his direction, his voice was calming and soothing, his arms held you closely to his body, providing warmth to your fragile body.

once you calmed down, he gave you a hug, waiting for you to talk, he wasn't good with words so he waited, and waited, and he would always wait, only when you were ready you said to him how school was hard and your parents were crushing you, how the pressure was too much to bare, how everything accumulated, how many sleepless nights you had, how complicated things were turning out, how you really felt. tears and tears flooded and you were tired of holding them back. rindou tave you a space and time to let it all out, he gave you security to be you, with everything it camed with.

he was so assuring even if he didn't say anything, he just watched and contemplated with empathy, your body acted on its own hugging him so tightly you could swear he was uncomfortable, but nothing of the matter. he palmed your back very gently and said "breathe, love, this that you feel is valid, you are valid. take a break on everything and focus on yourself, and never forget to breath" giving you a kiss on the forehead. it seemed like he was crying too but who wdre you to judge, you didn't care about that, you couldn't even think straight anymore, a wave of emotions and thoughts cane out of you harshly, not giving you time to analyze your situation, tears replaced words.

it was one of your most intimate moments, just you two being vulnerable and opening up to each other, trust building up and love florishing from the bottom of your hearts.

rindou never saw you as weak, never doubted your needs and actions, he was very certain that this was what you needed, him.

maybe he came late to you, maybe he should have noticed before, but you where with him in that instant and that's what mattered the most.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev #rindou haitani x reader #haitani rindou x reader #haitani rindou #rindo x reader #rindou x reader #rindou haitani #rindo haitani x reader #tokrev rindou #haitani x reader #[✯] rindou

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yaomomvs · 3 years

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Hi there <3

Idk if you take requests or somethin but like- I rlly love ur writing and I can't find a fic with this kind of plot.

So like- haikyuu characters falling inlove with their fangirl (´･ᴗ･`)

But not that crazy fricken fangirl who stalks them, probs like those who give them gifts on their birthday and supports them only on the sidelines. And probs tries their obvious interests when they feel like it and it suddenly became her hobby.

Oh! And I request it with Miya Twins, Oikawa, Sakusa, Suna, Kita, Akaashi if you could. ( ๑>ᴗ<๑ ) [It's ok if you can't, I kinda requested to much characters]

I feel so pushy with this request so It's fine if you ignore this!, if you did do it though, thank you very much!♡

[P.S- Can I Call u Matcha-chan? It reminds me of ur gorgeous theme]

ofc you can call me that it’s so cute! sorry if this took long but i was so busy with my college prep, that why i didn’t write all of the characters in sorry! for a plus, listen to “number one fan” by MUNA hope you like it anon <3

# falling for a… fangirl?

what if they fall for a fangirl?

→ osamu miya, oikawa tooru, kita shinsuke

osamu miya

honestly you really try to be careful on this one

the thing is you know how many fangirls this guy and his twin have, so it’s not that you are hopeless but

you also know hoy annoyed at least his twin is, so you figure out osamu is kind of the same just more respectful

you liked osamu bc of how mysterious he looked yet so open specially when it comes to volleyball

you happened to be in the same class as him so, you let yourself have the luxury of admiring him while he was taking notes or just staring at the board, he has better things to do than notice he has another fangirl so it really didn’t worry you a lot

but osamu notices

yes, at first he didn’t realize, but one day he just suddenly starts feeling strange, he suddenly paid more attention to his surroundings and that’s when he notices a cute figure close to him

he sees you among the crowd at his games, how blushy your face gets whenever he lands a spiker, how you tell other girls to keep quiet or control themselves but also how you cheer whenever he shines in the court

and honestly? he loves it, he observes you when you are distracted and it feels so good having someone who respected his space but at the same time has a spot for him and only him and enhances those feelings

like an idiot, he tells suna and atsumu about you and knowing osamu is too much of a coward sometimes they make sure to do anything in their power

“hey little y/n, uh- may i call you that?” your heart stops when you hear atsumu’s voice as he places his arms around your shoulder thinking he finally notice how you look at his brother and would tell you to back off, at his side was suna who just nods at you

“i guess” your face was red from embarrassment, the blonde twin noticed and the just spat “what would you think about a little reward, from your dear friends aka the volleyball team? as a thank you for yer support” “w-what?”

so imagine osamu’s reaction when that day walked in the gym for practice and found you playing with your hands sitting next to the coaches on the bench

his face just fires up and he looks away finding a very pleased atsumu.

he gave his 200% just because he did not want to disappoint you, when he notices he is doing this he just smiles and waits for the practice to end

when it does he doesn’t even stop to drink water he goes straight up to you and with puppy eyes he asks “so how did i do today?” his eyes are so hopeful he really just wants you to keep admiring him the way he started doing it with you 🥺

you blush SO hard understanding the situation and then say “the best on the court as always” now he is red and he unconsciously grabs your hand and squeezes it

ofc he then took you to dinner <33

oikawa tooru

oh lord

okay you didn’t expect to actually become a fangirl of the great king, in fact you were hesitant about what made this boy special

you regret it when you actually watch him play and pour all of his emotion in the game, it just naturally captivated you

but in this case you indeed were so hopeless lol

you gave up even before beginning bc come on this guy has half of the school at his feet there was no way he would look your way, besides you knew how much he put volleyball above anything else so yeah

you were so frustrated to be his fan, it was almost as if you hated to admire him you were just not used to the feeling

but you thought there would be no harm on putting a note on his desk ‘confessing’ your admiration, it was ridiculous but here you were looking around everywhere so no one would see you doing it

oikawa waits a while before entering, because yes, he saw you, he found out it was best to give some space to the girls who secretly left gifts or candy at his desk, i mean, they were doing it anonymously for a reason so he really just sees your back as you leave

but when he reads the ‘i like the passion you play with, oikawa tooru’ his heart just- pow!

this guy has never felt so good with a fan note, all of them were about his pretty face and attitude but finding out there was someone out there who watched him play was heart stopping

he immediately tells iwa as mattsun and makki in order for them to just catch you, they do, but oikawa always wanted to admire from afar first

as weeks pass by he now knows you name, class and the way you are always the first to arrive at his games, but never approached him, who your friends were, but how they had no idea of what were you writing to him. you weren’t necessarily avoiding him, in fact he almost exchanged words with you a couple of times

you were gorgeous to him, it’s the first time he feels his cheeks burn whenever you pass by

it is not until he wins against karasuno that the first thing he does after beating his nemesis, is hurry in between the crowd and he just calls “Y/N!!!!!”

you froze like wtf, your brain malfunctions thinking it was the oikawa who was calling you and before you could run away, he runs over to you and almost tripped ending up a bit too close to your face

“huh?” you manage to mumble way to panicked, he wraps both of your hands and it’s way more embarrassing now

“nice to meet you, y/l/n y/n, the one who prefers beige notes with tons of bears on the margin, my name is oikawa tooru, and today’s victory is dedicated to you and only you”

he just radiates pure happiness that your heart stops racing and stops, seeing him so genuine was something else

“you really are something oikawa tooru” you smile and he swears the world stopped.

longs story short, he really won a number one fan

kita shinsuke

please give this guy some classes on how to catch hints

you admired kita for being one of the most honest, hardworking and kind people you’ve ever known

hearing he was in the vball team gave you the opportunity to approach him a bit more with the excuse that in fact you were a fan

his first reaction was so ??? normal ??? although he seemed surprised the twins weren’t the only ones to have fans he just felt like nothing big happened

“thank you, but we have to start practice now, i’m not kicking you out but we need to start as soon as possible”

aran and pretty’s much all of the team was so shocked and he was about to say like ‘that’s not how you talk to a fan!’ but they were even more shocked when you giggled and waved goodbye so friendly.

ever since whenever you had the chance you gave little gifts and notes to kita, and he unconsciously grew fond of them, even if he was stoic you knew it, it made you happy he started to form a friendship with you, and were cool with the fact he was so blunt sometimes.

he likes it when you are around, how you always greet him in the mornings and how loud you are at the teams games! he doesn’t have the exact term to define you but he felt comfortable

but one jealous asshole had the audacity to say out loud that you were just interested so he would date you

so as he doesn’t have much experience he just asks to talk to you one day “please stop giving me gifts and affection, i liked them but they are just a lot now, i don’t know if it’s correct and honestly it’s better”

your heart ached sm because he sounded different almost made you think he didn’t want to have any relation to you, as if he was embarrassing and although you could not be sure, the cold tone he used was making you overthink

“o-okay, i’m sorry if it was bothering, i- you were such an inspiration, thank you for that” and you just tun not wanting him to see you cry

god the days after kita felt like a part of himself was missing, you avoided him at all cost and immediately knew he was wrong for letting that guy play with his head. you never looked his way with those divine eyes that made them feel at ease, or he no longer hearst your heartwarming laugh near him.

the team notices how he is basically yearning for you, and as the helping friends they are, they want to help his captain. so they find your locker and hide your umbrella on a raining day (lol)

kita spots you waiting at the entrance for the rain to stop, and the light breeze helps him smell your scent, he takes a place next to you

noticing he was there you began walking but he suddenly takes your arm and pushes you towards him.

“you are going to get sick, and i can’t have that” he talks holding you against his chest.

“i thought-“ you began quite shocked

“yeah, i thought that too, but i guess i am allowed to make mistakes right, darling?”

your eyes widen as your face feels warm, and it is when you look him in the eyes you know hee is confessing. and you just giggle”

aran, suna, atsumu and osamu high five right behind you

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zukka-pegged-by-suki · 3 years

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ok so guys, remember that “my father always says azula was born lucky, i was lucky to be born” line? yeah, now explain to me why tf are we even considering OZAIs words?!?! like some people use this line as an argument against azula when its literally what OZAI SAID?!?!!?!!?!

Zuko’s good and bad luck, as well as Azulas. Was either of them lucky? Let’s see.

Please read all of it before drawing assumptions.

Zuko’s luck:

- has mums care and affection

- has irohs care and affection

- can get away with being a softie as a child, because he may get disregarded and called weak but lets be honest, azula wouldnt have been able to get away with his behavior because she didn’t have firstborn privilege (which is a thing while azulon lived) or mummy’s protection like he did.

before anyone comes at me i’ll expand a bit on the firstborn privilege. as first born he was instantly considered more important by the masses since birth, that might’ve changed later but before neither could bend that much was still a fact. which means azula wouldn’t really have any recognition for anything unless she surpassed him in every way, which is what became her goal especially when ozai became the one who spent more time with her rather than ursa, anyways lets continue.

- constantly receiving second chances; iroh, the gaang minus katara, katara, azula (even if not from the “good” side), ozai (no matter the intentions, this much is true), iroh again, mai, the entire fckng world.

- he had a guide and help throughout his long healing and learning process.

Zuko’s bad luck:

- Unloving father

- Mummy disappears

- Doesn’t train that hard and surprise surprise, is worse than azula. Because if he had really trained hard, he would’ve at least known the formations wether he was able to firebend with them or not, but he was just clearly trying to copycat azula while tripping over because he didn’t have that much experience doing it. This is something no one can change my mind about. How tf did he expect to excel if he didn’t train enough. This wasnt about luck but hard work which he didn’t put in, too busy playing with mum and the little turtleducks. And I do not hate Zuko, I really love him but this is just a fact and he’s too fixed on blaming everyone else for his own mistakes and problems (esp Azula). Like, im sorry to break it out to you honey, but Ozai hates you because he’s an asshole, and that’s his own fault, not Azula’s.

- Scar and exile time, we all know this.

- Ugly haircut because of dishonor

- Finally achieving his goal of regaining his “honor” but realizing it wasn’t what he wanted only when he was already at the Fire Nation palace having all the glory from Aang’s presumed death.

- Katara’s distrust after his betrayal (bc who would’ve expected that to happen /s)

- Getting zapped in an attempt to save Katara.

I mean except for the things related to Ozai, most of this was all consequences from his own actions.

And I’m sorry but I don’t understand the fixation he has with having Ozai’s love. Unlike Azula, he has had his mother’s love and his uncle’s love. He knows what real love looks like and he has never really seen anything that could imply Ozai likes him, while he has Iroh treating him like he’s his actual father.

I’m not invalidating his traumas in any way and terrible things did happen to him, but why is he so obsessed with Ozai and why would he choose him over Iroh, he’s 16 and has been with Iroh since age 13, he was also with Ursa for the majority of his childhood, make it make sense.

Azula’s luck:

- Uh she was born rlly smart i guess

- She had some natural talent and knew to train hard to shape it to perfection, as well as studying a lot about war tactics and shit ig

- Ty Lee and Mai loved her and she loved them back

I mean as far as luck goes, that’s it. Everything else was achieved on her own merit and even if she had no scar, her traumas are just as valid as Zuko’s, neither is worse or better, we do not compare traumas in this house and they were both terrible.

Azula’s bad luck:

- Bad mother (i’ll make a post on why Ursa sucks)

- No second chances

- Mum never said goodbye just like she never said “i love you” lol, except in that one hallucination

- Never has had any real help to heal (i’ll make a post on why the asylum was a trash idea that would’ve never worked)

- Can’t fully trust anyone, not even herself, or will be punished for it

- The only people who loved her, Mai and Ty Lee, “betraying” her (check out my post on that, its under #jinta’s commentary)

- Ozai psychologically abusing her all her life

- Some characters may have been lonely, but she was genuinely absolutely alone. And she knew it.

- Hurt and self-hatred channeled through anger like Zuko did sometimes when he had that shame shave ponytail, but with her, its all the time.

- Even his abuser abandons her

- Everyone hates her but forgives Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee. And it’s so annoying because all Mailee did that Azula didn’t was swap sides almost at the end, if the excuse is that they were being manipulated well Ozai was manipulating Azula so what’s the excuse.

- Is always believed to be lying but usually isn’t (check out my azula always lies post)

- Has a mental breakdown and nobody gives a shit?! Like the first think Zuko thought of was “ooh she’s slipping lemme take advantage of that”

- Has nothing and no one, yay

- Gets thrown into a stupid asylum but not rlly because there are no comics in ba sing se

While Zuko had Ursa and Iroh to protect him and stuff, she was victim of Ozai’s manipulation and psychological abuse all her life.

So when we know Ozai said she was lucky, why tf is anyone taking his word for it??!

Plus when Zuko was born they didn’t know how he would be and Azula didn’t exist so there was no way he could’ve been lucky to be born.

Zuko was very unlucky, but he was also lucky.

Azula was just unlucky.

edit: as bellatrixobsessed1 said, azula had the illusion of luck.

319 notes · View notes

shorkbrian · 3 years

Text

Anxious

Prelude - It took me three evenings to write this (EW that’s the longest I've ever taken) and it’s RLLY long (almost 10k) so be warned. The style is mean’t to be jumbled, grammatically incorrect, and awful, rushed, and incoherent. My day-to-day life process is like this but worse lol and I wanted to capture just the feeling of bad that exists. Have fun.

(Ps Kirishima is the subtlest of creeps here. Def a stalker, but good at lying, and reader is too gullible.)

Pairing - Yandere Kirishima X GN Reader

Warnings - anxiety, panic attack, non con, NSFW, idk the usual.

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/1qFMIjTe9esCDiytqUY19t?si=RrkIvlXMReyT6CYKEh6xdw

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh god, is that Pro-Hero Red Riot?

Your hands tremble as you lift your drink to your lips, take a shaky sip.

It feels too hot in here, is it hot? You scream internally.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Red Riot, your favorite Pro-Hero in the entire world, was currently standing in line at Starbucks, looking up at the menu with his big, dumb, handsome face. He was wearing his hero costume - meaning he was on-duty, abs out and mask on.

As usual, you had ordered your regular drink, immediately sat down (always the blue armchair by the window, the one with the little table next to it). Normally you ignored each little tinkling of the bell above the door, the sound signaling another person entering the coffee shop. You just wanted to nurse your drink and look at stupid memes on your phone, try to gas yourself up for the day ahead, convince yourself that you would be able to get through whatever life decides to throw at you.

A particularly violent shake of the bell had your head snapping up, the loud noise startling you.

And holy fuck.

Red Riot.

Your cheeks were burning as you lowered your eyes to your phone, knowing that the big man was moving up in line, then ordering, then probably moving to wait near the drink pickup.

Looking up was out of the question - you didn’t want to ogle the Hero and make him feel uncomfortable, or for him to catch sight of your stupid blushing.

You almost dropped your drink the next time you raised it to your lips, your hands were so sweaty.

And of course that little slip-up had your heart beating ever faster, embarrassed that you had almost made a mess all over yourself, self conscious that someone had seen, oh god, what if people were looking at you, thought you were dumb and couldn’t even drink correctly? Oh god.

You set your drink back onto the little table at your side. A quick glance upward (to check the clock, that’s where your eyes went) and you could see Red Riot out of the corner of your eye, smiling as he took a picture with a fan as they both waited for their respective drinks.

Wouldn’t that be cool, to get a picture with him? But oh, that would mean you’d have to stand up, stumble over awkwardly towards him. Could you leave your drink on the side table? Would your seat be taken before you got back?

The hero would probably be able to spot you from a mile away, see how weirdly you walk, how your body looked. The thought made you cringe; he was so muscled and fit and in-shape, he’d probably think you were fat, or maybe weak? He’d be disgusted, wouldn’t he.

If you managed to get close enough to ask him if he wouldn’t mind taking a picture with you, he’d have to hear your voice crack, see how you shook like a tiny chihuahua from nervousness, see how sweaty and flushed you were from the embarrassment of being alive, of being seen.

God, you hated yourself.

You could never approach the Pro-hero and ask for a picture. He’d see how revolting, how weird and nervous and pathetic you were.

Plus, you’d already talked to the barista to get your coffee, had walked to the coffeeshop all by yourself and committed yourself to the horrifying ordeal of being known and seen by society. You’d done enough today to make your anxiety skyrocket, your hands were already shaking so bad, it’s a miracle you hadn’t dropped your drink or your phone or done something stupid and embarrassing to call attention to yourself.

“Red Riot!” Your eyes flickered up at the barista shouting, saw Red Riot smile and compliment the barista as they handed over his drink, something large and brightly colored and sporting an ungodly amount of whipped cream on top.

Red Riot left the Starbucks, the bell above the door jingling just as violently as it had when he had entered - the man was enthusiastic about seemingly everything, even opening and closing a door.

That’s actually one of the reasons he was your favorite. Red Riot was so confident and self assured, beaming with positivity and kindness. It was clear to see that he loved his job, that he loved life. Of course, you had seen him have bad days - in a few of the interviews after big rescues or horrific fights, his smile seemed to waver a bit, his eyes getting misty as the casualties were mentioned.

But that just showed he was human. Sensitive.

You grabbed your drink again, grimaced as nausea washed over you in a gentle wave. You were such a nervous wreck. But Red Riot had left - the only people here now were the employees and the people waiting in line. You just prayed none of them would pay attention or take notice of you.

----

He was here again.

Holy fuck, he was here again!

This time you weren’t as nervous (a mild feeling of excitement could be felt), you could actually drink out of your Starbucks cup without shaking like a leaf.

The redheaded hero had gotten his drink already, once again something large and colorful and probably loaded with sugar. But instead of leaving immediately, he moved to sit down and holy fuck - holy fuck he was walking right past you.

You didn’t want to look up, didn’t want to draw attention to yourself by moving - humans will subconsciously look towards movement, you knew that. But he walked further, you saw him sit down by the corner window, settling into the seat comfortably. He was wearing his hero outfit again, abs rippling as he leaned back, and out of the corner of your eye you could see him fiddling with his mask before taking it off and chucking onto the table in front of him.

Ah, so he was probably on a break.

Averting your eyes back to your phone, you tried to ignore his presence. He was a human being, just like yourself, who deserved and probably appreciated his privacy. God knows, if you were in his shoes, you wouldn’t want fans to even think about you, much less look at you.

Minutes passed, maybe twenty? Thirty? But you had finished your drink. Now it was time to will yourself to your feet, to breathe, in, out. You were going to walk over to the trashcan, throw your drink cup away, and leave to walk back home.

Oh, but you were nervous.

You always felt nervous - this was a common occurrence, and each time you came here (you visited this Starbucks maybe twice a week) there was always this fight with your anxiety.

People would look at you as soon as you stood up. Did you walk weird? Your body had weird proportions, people would be mocking you inside their heads as you walked. Your outfit wasn’t trendy, it didn’t fit your body right, you looked odd and out-of-place - that’s probably what people thought as soon as their eyes landed on you.

You’d get judged for your drink cup - the size, because people would probably think it was too big for somebody with your body. Or maybe too small? Would people think you don’t take care of yourself?

Oh god, what if it slipped out of your hand as you were walking over? Even with it being empty, the noise of the cup hitting the floor would draw everyone’s eyes to you. They’d watch as you scramble to pick it up, and they’d probably think how clumsy and awkward and incompetent you were.

And what if the trashcan was full? Would you carry your empty cup home with you? That would look weird, someone carrying an empty cup down the street. I mean, who does that? Well, you’d seen other people do it, watched them carry their drink until they reached a trashcan, and then throw it away. But what if there weren’t any public trashcans nearby? You’d look so odd, fumbling along trying so hard to walk normally, to not draw attention to yourself, to blend in with everyone.

Should you turn around to see if there was another trashcan in the Starbucks? Oh, but that might look stupid. The employees had seen you so often, you’d look like a fool for not knowing if there was another trashcan.

Ugh, and your walk. You have to focus on straightening your shoulders, keeping your back straight, moving your arms - just a little, not too much. Taking even steps, not walking with a heavy foot or making any stomping or scuffing sounds.

There was so much to focus on, too much. And now you had been sitting here for five minutes, knuckles white as you gripped your empty drink cup. You looked like a moron.

You could do this.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Remind yourself that people didn’t care, didn’t pay attention to all of the lame little things that you did. You anxiety was misplaced, you worried about things too much, and everything was fine.

You were okay, you could do this.

And so you stood, walked to the trashcan by the door (oh thank god, it was empty), and threw your cup away.

You heard Red Riot saying bye to the employees, his cheery, upbeat voice as he laughed at something one of them said. Oh, had something been said about you? Were the employees and Red Riot laughing about what a disaster you were?

No, you were just being nervous, that was your anxiety talking. Red Riot wasn’t that kind of person, and the employees weren’t either. You knew this.

The door jingled as you opened it, and you heard footsteps behind you so you moved to the side after you had gone through, holding the door open for whoever was behind you.

“Thanks cutie!”

Red Riot was fixing his mask as he strolled past, and your head snapped up, flushing fiercely as you met his gaze. You smiled awkwardly, throwing up a feeble thumbs-up.

Oh god, why did you do that?

Red Riot smiled back at you, giving his own exuberant thumbs-up. Well, at least he was doing it too. That made your anxiety quiet down a bit, emboldened by your favorite Pro-Hero.

You watched his broad back as he walked away, muscles flexing with each step. He really was a beautiful man, both inside and out.

----

The next time you went to Starbucks, you reached the door right as someone else did (even though you saw them walking towards the door, even though you slowed down your pace so they would reach the door first and would go inside so you wouldn’t have to do that awkward dance of who-gets-the-door and who-goes-inside-first).

But they pierced through the awkwardness, yanked the door open for you and stepped to the side and motioned for you to go in first.

It was Red Riot.

He was wearing casual clothes today, ripped jeans and a dark hoodie, but you’d recognize that spike red hair anywhere, those gleaming shark teeth too.

You nodded your thanks quickly, hurrying through the door so he wouldn’t have to stand there for long. Immediately you headed for the bathroom, not wanting to have the Pro-Hero standing in line behind you. He was intimidating, but in the nicest way possible. You were just afraid there was something about you that he would think to be weird, or odd, or out-of-place.

Better to just avoid the situation altogether.

When you finished your business (you were a nervous pee-er), you ordered your drink, deciding to be bold this time and try something different from your usual choice. It was the little things, the small little bits of life that made you anxious - those were the things that you tried to overcome. I mean, life’s all about the small victories, right? And hopefully if you built up enough small victories, you could have a really big victory someday, like telling your favorite barista that you liked her hair, or picking a different seat to sit in, or trying to make a friend with another customers as you waited in line.

But for today, the small victory was stepping outside of your comfort zone just a little bit, getting something new that you weren’t used to.

You ordered, waited patiently for your drink to be made, and then turned to go settle down in your blue armchair by the window.

And Red Riot was sitting in your seat.

Fuck.

Your hands were suddenly sweaty, and you felt the familiar pang of an upset tummy. You were so tired of being nervous, of freaking out every single time there was a small change that you weren’t aware of, or if something happened that you couldn’t control.

There was an armchair opposite the one you always chose - also blue, but not as comfortable and certainly not with a good view out the window. It directly faced your usual spot, but in all your time coming here, no one had ever sat in it. A first you had just figured it was uncomfortable, but as you came here more and more, you figured that the nook was probably for couples rather than individual coffee drinkers.

The time you visited was a bit odd, eight PM, a few hours before closing. But it was the least crowded at this time, and the sun was barely setting, and it was the perfect time for you to be unbothered and by yourself.

But there was Red Riot, invading your (unofficial) space.

But it was okay, you could just sit somewhere else.

It felt weird, sliding onto one of the chairs at a small table. You were so used to your usual, safe routine that this threw you off. You were shaking so bad that you missed your mouth on your first try of sipping at the straw. What an idiot.

You had to try again, holding the straw this time, before you could actually taste the drink.

Selfishly, you wished Red Riot had chosen a different chair. But he was entitled to sit anywhere he liked, and it was obvious he enjoyed this particular Starbucks. Judging by the familiarity with the employees, he was becoming a regular like yourself. You only came once or twice a week, but he probably got his drink fix more often than you did.

Hopefully he didn’t think you were stalking him.

Oh god, what if he thought you were stalking him? How would you show that you weren’t stalking him? Come on a different day? At a different time? But you were here first, this was your routine, and that was your chair!

But man, you really didn’t want to make the Pro-Hero uncomfortable - he’d probably had a few crazy fans who had stalked him before.

Sighing, you sipped slowly at your drink, pulling out your phone to look at memes and text a few to your friends. You could still go about your routine, even if you were sitting in a different spot.

----

You ran into him at the grocery store.

It was in the produce aisle, where you were trying to decide between red apples or green, weighing the pros-and-cons of each decision in your head. You probably looked like an idiot, standing in front of the apples and doing nothing but staring at them, but you needed to ignore that right now.

“Yo, Starbucks buddy!”

The shout rang out across the produce section, and you flinched, suddenly drawn out of your apple-selection process.

It was late, almost ten PM, who and why was shouting in the grocery store??

You weren’t one to turn and stare, but you were curious, and surely whoever shouted like that wouldn’t mind a few questioning looks thrown their way.

And so you glanced over your shoulder, expecting to see a bunch of teenage boys greeting each other, or maybe a man saying hi to his friend.

Red Riot was excitedly waving at you.

Your brain blanked. Immediately, you turned your head, trying to see if there was someone else he was waving at. But there was no one around you - hell, there wasn’t even anyone else in the produce section except for you and the hero.

So he had to be waving at you.

Turning your whole body this time, you gave an awkward imitation of his wave, and let out a soft, croaky “Hey…” as the big man walked closer.

He had a big dumb smile on his big dumb face, and as he reached you, it grew even wider.

“Starbucks buddy! I didn’t mean to make you flinch, my bad. I know I can get a little loud sometimes, haha.” He stopped right in front of you, a grocery basket filled to the brim with meat and a few vegetables clutched on one of his large hands. God, he was so strong, you would be struggling to carry such a heavy basket, and here he was lugging it around like it had nothing but a loaf of bread in it. Red Riot could probably squish your skull to a pulp with just his hand, goddamn he was big.

You shrugged at his words, desperately willing your brain to work and to think of something smart and eloquent and good-to-say. “It’s uh, it’s-it’s fine. I’m just y’know, one of those nervous people, y’know?”

Wow.

Good job brain.

But the Pro-Hero smiled gently, putting his basket down on the ground.

“Yeah, I kinda figured.”

Wait, what?

“I’ve seen you a couple times at Starbucks, the one on Grant and 1st. You always seem… well, nervous whenever I see you. At first I just thought it was because I was there, cause y’know, people have different reactions to seeing heros out in public.”

Your eyes were big, you felt your face erupt in an embarrassed fire, and your hands were fucking sweaty. Why couldn’t you have been born like, a blade of grass? A tree? Some non-sentient object that didn’t have to worry about thoughts or talking or how other people perceived it?

Red Riot continued, “But I’ve seen you a couple of other times; once on the subway, a few times at that park on the north side of town, haha, you really get around, dont’cha?”

Ah yes, now would be a good time for something to happen, like a plane to crash into the building and kill both of you instantly. Or some emergency that required his immediate attention, one that was so big and urgent that he would forget about you instantly.

His red eyes were drawn to your leg, which you were subconsciously wiggling like a toddler. His eyes softened, and his voice lowered an octave. “You always seem a bit… anxious. And I know that feeling, believe it or not. I used to be really insecure and nervous when I was younger-“

Oh, great. Now he was just calling attention to the fact that you were acting like a fucking child, that you were a fully-grown adult that couldn’t handle being out in the world because it was too nerve-wracking. Were you really that easy to read?

“-but I had some awesome people to help me through it. My moms were always really supportive, and they took such great care of me. It was rough for a little bit, but I learned how to be confident and how to strut my stuff and it’s helped me to help others. It’s sorta why I became a hero, actually.”

You smiled again, nodding. That made sense - each and every hero had a reason for why they wanted to help the general public, and of course Red Riot’s reason would be pure and inspiring.

“But uh, anyways! I just saw you shopping and thought I’d say hi to my Starbucks buddy. I was hoping you’d come and sit by me the other day, when I sat in the place you usually sit? But I understand that it’s sorta intimidating to approach a hero, even one in civilian clothing.”

Shoot, so he’d wanted you to sit by him that day? And here you were thinking that he had unintentionally commandeered your seat and was just trying to be left alone. God, you were so stupid.

“Oh, I’m-I’m sorry!” You stuttered out, face hotter than the actual sun. “I didn’t realize! I figured you always have people trying to get an autograph or a picture and you probably just want privacy, and I thought that maybe you just wanted to sit there and hadn’t gotten a chance to because I always sit there, which honestly that’s such a selfish thing for me to do - I should probably try to vary the places I sit so I don’t like-“

“Ah, don’t worry about it! You’re fine, okay? Trust me.” Red Riot patted your shoulder (yup, he could definite squeeze your head like a grape), before leaning down to grab his basket off the floor.

“Oh, well uhm, t-thank you, Mr. Red Riot” You resisted the urge to bow.

“Oh!” The man exclaimed, looking slightly surprised, “Call me Kirishima, none of that “Red Riot” stuff, alright?”

Confusion overtook you. “Uh, that’s only for your friends, civilians should respect the heros and call them by their chosen names.” At least, that’s what you had always been told.

But Red Riot just grinned. “Well, what’s your name?”

With a slight shake in your voice, you told him.

“I know your name now, so I officially deem the two of us as friends!” With his free hand, he patted you on the shoulder again. You shivered, and Red Ri-Kirishima seemed to notice.

“You alright (Y/N)? Didn’t hit you too hard, did I?”

“No, no… I’m just… kinda weird about touch I guess.” That was an understatement. You were so incredibly sensitive, every light touch felt searing, hugs always were too much sensation, you shuddered even thinking about cuddling - you were just too sensitive to touch.

Red-Kirishima stepped back, holding his hand up apologetically. “Oops, my bad. I kinda noticed that about you too, I should’ve remembered.”

At your questioning glance, the man hurried to continue. “Well, y’know, I saw that couple bump into you on the subway, and you looked like you were gonna cry. And then, like, at Starbucks you make an effort to not touch the barista’s hands when they give you your change.”

Great, so that was another thing you were obvious and weird about. Just great. You felt embarrassed that Kirishima had noticed that about you so easily, but you guessed being observant was part of his job.

“Well, I’m gonna go check out now, unless you need help with your groceries?” The man motioned to your barely-filled basket, and you shook your head.

“No, it’s-it’s okay. I can handle this, but thank you.”

Kirishima gave you a thumbs up. “Alright, sounds good. Although, are you planning on walking home?”

You shook your head yes, prepared to receive the “its not safe” talk. You knew it wasn’t safe, but it was just a few blocks, and you had made the walk to your apartment a million times, plus, you couldn’t afford to pay for an uber or a cab.

“It’s pretty dark out there, mind if I walk you home? I’m a hero and all, I promise I’m not going to try and steal your wallet.”

And there it was. For someone as nervous as yourself, walking alone in the dark really was no issue. Maybe it’s cause you weren’t afraid of someone trying to hurt you. You looked poor, you were ugly as fuck, and it was only a couple of blocks.

‘It’s okay Mr. R-Kirishima, I don’t mind. I’ll probably be here for a bit longer, don’t worry about me.”

He probably had other things to tend to, and even if he didn’t, you weren’t important enough to make a Pro-Hero go out of his way to walk you home. You were such an inconvenience already, it would just make you feel worse about yourself. And would you have to make small talk as the two of you walked?

Would he try and insist upon carrying your groceries? Would he want to walk up to your apartment floor with you? Or would he say goodbye in the lobby? Once again, best to just avoid the situation altogether.

Plus, you knew the hero was just trying to be polite. He probably didn’t actually want to walk you home.

Kirishima tried to offer again, but you turned him down, shaking your head, self-consciously drawing your shoulders up. You probably looked so stupid, like a scared little dog that had gotten yelled at. But it was a nervous reaction, and it felt better than just trying to stand there like a block.

Kirishima smiled gently, told you to have a safe night, and then left to go check out.

You turned back to the apples, trying to focus back on which color you should get, stuck between red, or green.

----

The next time you visited Starbucks, your regular spot was once again empty. It was almost a relief, seeing that you wouldn’t have to figure out if Kirishima wanted to talk today or not, if he wanted you to sit by him, or if he was just trying to make small talk back at the grocery store.

So you settled in, warm hot chocolate in hand as you looked out the window, watched cars whiz by on the street, rain puttering down softly.

And then Kirishima was bursting through the door, sending the door bell jingling in a frenzy, rain patterned heavily over his jean jacket, His eyes immediately found you, and his face lit up in a smile.

“(Y/N)!!!!”

You gave a little wave, watching as Kirishima smiled cheerily at you, before quickly ordering a drink. Immediately, the muscled redhead came to sit down in the armchair opposite you, panting a little bit.

“Wooo, I had to run here, started raining on me!”

“I can tell.” You let out a small laugh, noticing how his spiky hair was drooping from getting rained on.

“Glad to see you got home okay the other night.” The male blurted, leaning forward so he could strip off his jacket.

You paused. “What do you mean?”

He flashed you a grin, throwing his jacket over the back of the chair. “Well, you’re here, aren’t you?”

Ah, he had a point.

His name was called, and Kirishima jumped up and went to pick up his drink before plopping back down in the armchair with a sigh.

“So, (Y/N), you ever been to the ocean before? All this water, the streets might be an ocean by the time we leave.”

Kirishima proceeded to launch into a story about the time he went to the ocean with his buddy Bakugou, how they had swam with turtles and even got to see a whale.

You were glad he was doing all the talking, letting you sit back and listen while you sipped at your hot cocoa. There was no pressure for you to talk, no pressure for you to try and fumble for the right words. And it was nice, seeing the big hero be so excited and animated, gesturing with his hands and almost spilling his drink all over himself.

As you listened to him talk, you settled back further into the armchair contentedly. He was a nice person to be around, you could see yourself being friends with him, if he didn’t mind.

——

And friends you did become.

It wasn’t long before the two of you exchanged numbers - Kirishima had wanted to send you a picture of a dog he had seen the other day while he was out patrolling.

The two of you texted memes to each other, cute pictures of animals, and even though your anxiety was loud and demanding and convinced you that you were bothering the man, Kirishima always assured you that was never the case.

He always seemed to be able to tell when you were feeling anxious, when nervousness settled deep in your bones and refused to leave. You slowly began to notice that with Kirishima, your anxiety was quieter. It was easy to let the exuberant man to take the lead, for him to make decisions, whether to walk up and ask to pet the cute dog or not. It was freeing in a way, letting your new friend take your anxiety and make it be quiet.

After all, no one gave you a second glance, now that you were trailing behind Pro-Hero Red Riot.

Kirishima was such a character, goofy, cheerful, and always sporting a sunny disposition. His casual fashion consisted of the most god-awful color combinations and mixed patterns. It wasn’t uncommon for the man to bounce towards you in greeting, wearing neon green crocs, dark blue overalls that were plaid, and a head-ache inducing black-and-white psychedelic shirt. Somehow he made it all work, and didn’t look odd or out of place.

You admired him, truly. You wished you could have his confidence, his attitude and bouncy personality. If you had confidence like that, you could probably do anything. As it stood right now, you could barely approach someone on the street and ask to pet their dog.

It had been so embarrassing, walking with Kirishima down the street and listening to him talk between gulps of a bright pink slushy. You spotted a woman walking a dog on the other side of the street, a big dog, fluffy and sweet-looking and happily walking along it’s owner, stopping to sniff at each plant that grew in the cracks of the sidewalk.

“Cute, I wish I could pet that dog.” You interrupted Kiri’s story, gazing wistfully at the dog.

Kirishima paused, swiveling his head to see what dog you were talking about. Once he did, his eyes lit up, and he grabbed your hand. “Lets go pet it then!” But when he tried to pull you forward, you balked, pulling your wrist backward.

“I-I can’t, it’s….. I don’t know, It’s fine, I’ll stay here.”

Kirishima raised an eyebrow, studying you as he took another slow sip of his slushy. You had your own slushy, a significantly smaller size than the beefy Pro-Hero’s own giant cup.

“(Y/N), it’s okay - I’ll do all the talking, ‘kay?”

He could tell that the thought of talking to the owner, asking to pet their dog, was making you nervous. What if they said no? What if they thought you were being rude? Would the dog not like you? Would the owner think you looked funny? What if they were hurrying somewhere?

But if Kirishima did all the talking….. maybe you could manage trailing behind him, only emerging from his shadow if the owner said yes to petting their dog.

You gave the big man a weak smile, nodding gingerly before getting yanked forward, Kirishima already speed-walking towards the lady.

He asked, the lady said yes - you got to pet the absolute cutest dog ever. It was heaven.

You were grateful for Kirishima - shyly told him as much. If you were by yourself, you would have noticed the cute dog, but done nothing about it, just wished you had the courage to approach and ask if you could pet it.

But with Kiri? He made anything possible.

----

You were worried you were annoying him.

There was no evidence, but still, wouldn’t it be annoying to have an anxious little shadow? One that shook and stuttered and could barely go to the grocery store without freaking out and having a panic attack? Your fears and feelings weren’t entirely unfounded, I mean, there were millions upon millions of possible outcomes of any one action. Unfortunately, your brain liked to focus only on the negative options.

But Kirishima never got tired, never got frustrated with you. He didn’t mind ordering for the both of you when you got snacks at a fast-food place during long afternoons. He didn’t mind taking up extra space with his personality, being loud and brash and drawing attention to himself when you felt like everyone was watching you, waiting for you to make a stupid mistake.

Kiri seemed to like walking you home, helped you check your windows and in the closet and under the bed (not for people, but what if there was some eldritch monster that lurked just out of sight?). He never made fun of you for your feelings or fears, just gently listened and then tried to help you deal with them.

He even got you to be somewhat comfortable with making silly little mistakes in public. One time the man tripped on thin air, spilling warm coffee all over you and himself. Immediately he burst out laughing at his own clumsiness, apologizing between giggles as he heaved himself off the floor and went to go grab napkins.

If you had spilled a drink on him and yourself, you would’ve been asking Siri where the nearest cliff was. But you realized, the same way that you weren’t worried, and how it wasn’t that big of a problem that your shirt was now soaked with sweet coffee and sticking to your skin, Kirishima probably wouldn’t care if you spilled anything on him.

After all, it was an honest mistake.

The big man was helping you to learn how to be more comfortable in the world. But still, the creeping suspicion that he was just being kind to you out of sheer politeness was forefront in your mind.

So you came up with a question, practiced asking it in the mirror, took several days to build up your confidence to ask Kirishima.

“Do you actually want to be friends with me?”

And sure, that might be a forward question. But you valued honesty, had told him so a few times when he asked you to rate his outfit on a scale from 1-10 (usually it was a solid 10 - his personality making the outfit shine) you tried not to lie to others, and expected the same courtesy from them.

The two of you were in the park, resting on one of the benches after walking around and looking at the different plants (one of your favorite activities, no matter how lame). And now was as good a time as ever, so you popped the question, barely stuttering once.

Kirishima was silent for a bit, and you were almost afraid of looking up at him. The truth would come out now - how he just saw a pathetic little civilian and felt so much pity for them that he decided to be their friend. You were just a burden to him, how could you ever be anything else?

When you dared to look up at the big redhead, the intensity in his gaze had you leaning towards the side nervously, away from the strength of all his attention focused on you.

“(Y/N)…. becoming friends with you was - it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.” His voice held such sincerity, his face open and honest. You recoiled from the statement, uncomfortable with the compliment. That had to be a lie, he was just saying that to make you feel better. You were so pathetic and weak that other people had to pretend that you were better than you actually were to avoid hurting your feelings. You wished you never existed. Why did you even ask him that question in the first place? There was no way that someone as nice as Kirishima would actually tell you how worthless and pitiful you were.

Large hands grabbed your own, and you jumped. Kirishima’s hands were warm, scarred and calloused, yet soft in their grip as they gently squeezed your own hands. You tried not to flinch at the contact.

“I know that you don’t believe me, but you should. You know-“ One of his hands went to run through his hair, tousling through it’s straight, un-gelled style, before returning to your hand. “-I was pretty lonely before I met you. Like, I had my squad - Bakugou and Mina and Denki and Sero…. But it just….. There was something missing.”

Kirishima leaned close to you, your sides pressing together, his red eyes trying to catch your own. You were too shy, had to look off to the side.

“There was someone missing. And when I saw you, it felt…. Everything just clicked. I was missing you.”

You could feel his breath fanning against the side of your flaming hot face. It was uncomfortable. He was lying, he had to be. He was just trying to help you be confident in yourself, so he wouldn’t have to baby you and hold your hand and help you do simple things like ordering food or going for walks and not worrying about what people thought of you.

He was just being nice.

For some reason, you felt your throat clog up, felt the spicy sting of tears building up. Why did you feel like crying? You weren’t exactly in tune with any of your other emotions, only paid attention if it was anxiety or fear.

A thumb rubbed over your knuckles soothingly (it burned), and the next thing you knew you were being enveloped in a bear hug, Kirishima’s arms crushing you into his chest, his pecs pressing against your face.

Goddamn, he was built as fuck.

You tried to keep still, not squirm away from his touch like a child. You were an adult, you could handle a little bit of discomfort over being touched.

Kiri sighed. “I like being around you (Y/N). You don’t judge me for my mistakes, you accept them - you accept me. You uh, you make me happy dude, like, really happy.”

You chuckled a little bit at the redheads use of the word “dude”. Only a meathead could turn a sappy moment on it’s head by using the word “dude”. Still, you liked the way Kirishima talked, from the excited chatter when he was talking about something he liked, to the slow, comforting honey when he was being sincere and intimate, like now.

At the same time, your heart felt tight, waiting for the inevitable but that was sure to come. For the redhead to explain that he enjoyed your company but he was just being polite to a nervous civilian who couldn’t fend for themselves. You fun to hang out with but it was only because you made him look better, cooler and manlier because he was nice to someone as pathetic as you.

The but never came. You waited and waited, but Kirishima just kept the slow rhythm of his thumb rubbing over your knuckles, kept your face pressed into his chest and an arm wrapped around your body. You didn’t know what to do.

Should you pull back? Your throat felt tight again. Kirishima was lying to you, he had to be. There wasn’t any way that someone would actually enjoy you as a person.

You pulled back from the warmth of his body, pulled your hand away from his. “I don’t….. I want honesty Kirishima. Please? Lies hurt more than the truth, please. I’m not a good person, I’m pathetic and nervous and shy, and I’m too loud sometimes, and my body looks weird, and I’m ugly and disgusting, and-“

“(Y/N), stop.” His voice thundered, cutting you off. Immediately, you fell silent, chest tightening, gaze falling to your lap. He was right. He didn’t need to hear all your insecurities, they were already clear to see. You were such a drag on his life, he probably hated having to deal with you, having to see you.

“Kiri, I’m not uhm-“ Your voice was wavering. “-I’m not feeling so great, I think I’m gonna head home.”

As you stood, so did the redhead. “Please don’t feel obligated to walk me home, I know it’s way out of your way.” He probably hated every second of it, probably insisted just to be polite. Even now, Kirishima was beginning to protest, grabbing at your hand. You pulled back, eyes fixed on the ground.

“Kiri, please.” You whispered, tears threatening to fall. You hated yourself. You hated yourself so much, your chest hurt, your ears felt full, everything felt too heavy and bad - there weren’t even any words to explain it. You just wanted to go home and cry, sob into a pillow.

Kirishima stayed put, probably watching you walk away from the park. God, you hoped he wasn’t, you walked so weirdly. Why couldn’t you just disappear?

——

You tried your best to disappear.

You did the bare minimum, turning in assignments an hour before they were due, half-assing them. You hardly ventured out of your room, only to grab water or to use the bathroom.

Neighbors kept knocking on your door, probably the couple in the apartment opposite you, asking for a cup of sugar so they could make cookies, or wanting to tell you that your mail downstairs was getting full. But being the person you were, you were far too nervous to go answer the door. You were probably annoying people. It would just be better for the world if you weren’t in it, wouldn’t it?

Kirishima kept trying to text you, call you (Even though he knew you couldn’t pick up - calls terrified you), trying to coax you to go on a walk with him, to come get coffee or a slushie with him when he finished working. You brushed him off with lame excuses, telling him you were sick, backtracking when he said he was coming over with soup and movies. You didn’t feel well enough for company.

Still, the man kept texting you several times a day, then only a few times, and now it was down to just once a day. In one corner of your mind, it hurt. The rest of your mind knew that it was for the best, knew that his life was going to be better because you weren’t going to be there bothering him.

His texts consisted of simple messages now, ones you felt bad not responding to, but if you did respond, you hated yourself for the rest of the day. You sucked.

“(Y/N), look at this dog!” *IMAGE ATTACHED*

Cute.

“Yo, you wanna come get something to drink at our place? They have a deal on coffee today!”

Sorry Kiri, I’m not feeling too good today. You should go get a drink though, have fun!

“I saw some people rollerskating in the park, we should try that!”

Yeah.

“Would you wanna go for a walk sometime?”

I don’t think so, I’m pretty busy right now. You should go and get sunshine though, you deserve it!

“We need to go to our Starbucks soon, I need COFFEE haha”

“Gonna ever come see where I work? I can show you my office, it’s super cool!”

“(Y/N), you doing okay?”

“I miss you.”

----

You woke up to the sound of your neighbors (or maybe the complex manager?) knocking on your door. Anxiety filled you, palms immediately becoming clammy, so you fumbled around your bed, searching for your earbuds. Maybe if you could listen to music, you could calm down? Sometimes that worked, sometimes not. It really depended on how worked up you were.

Luckily you found them, quickly stuffing them in your ears as you queued music up on your phone. The knocking faded out as music filled your ears, but your anxiety still persisted. You curled up onto your side, hugging a pillow to your chest, almost on the verge of tears from nothing more than a few knocks at your door. You were such a burden to society.

It took a minute, but your heart stopped racing, palms stopped sweating, and you fell back asleep. You were so tired of being awake.

----

You awoke a second time to hands carding gently through your hair. It felt weird for a brief second, but you just ignored the feeling - until you remembered that you lived alone, and the front door was supposed to be locked.

Squeaking in panic, you shot up, eyes wide, scrambling back into the corner of your bed, clutching the blanket to your chest.

Kirishima blinked at you, hand still hovering over where your he’d had previously been. He was sitting on the edge of your bed, shoes off, bare feet on the floor.

Your eyes were still wide with fear, chest heaving with panic, but you managed to rip out your earbuds. “Kirishima? How-how did you get in?!? What are you….” You trailed off, tugging your blanket closer around your body as you realized that you were in your pajamas. They weren’t provocative, nor exposed any skin, but they drowned your form, were probably stained and most likely dirty, and you definitely looked awful. But back to the issue at hand, how did Kiri get in your apartment?

The man in question gave a dorky little wave, lips quirking up ever so slightly.

“(Y/N), hey! I haven’t seen you in so long!” He paused for a second, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer, more serious. “I missed you… I was kinda worried.”

“But how are you- I mean…. inside?” You stuttered, completely flustered.

“Oh, I talked to the complex manager, said I was a family member who was really worried about you. Showed him how you haven’t been answering my texts…. I was really worried (Y/N). You were giving such weird replies to my texts, and then you stopped answering completely, and no one answered the door whenever I knocked.”

Wait, that was him knocking? All those times?

You were going to jump out the window.

“Kiri… I didn’t mean to worry you, I just… You shouldn’t be worried about me.”

“Why not? I care about you, I… I wanted to see you.”

It was time to be honest, say the things that were painful to say. The truths that hurt your heart, but needed to be said. Otherwise, Kirishima just wouldn’t get it.

“Kiri, I’m not-I’m not worth your worry. I don’t deserve it. I’m a nervous, depressed wreck, who can’t even open a door or answer the phone. You’re-you’re being nice to me cause you’re a good person. I don’t think I should be… well, like, around you. I just-I bring you down, and you have to do stuff for me and reassure me and I’m such a burden. Please just, I don’t know, please just don’t give me any more attention. I’m so stupid and gross and you should be friends with someone who isn’t….. isn’t like me.”

You finished your rant, almost breathless, choked up, feeling ready to cry.

Silence reigned between the two of you, everything quiet except for the sound of your breathing and the rhythmic clicking of your fan.

It was uncomfortable. But you’d said your piece. It’d be weird if you said anything else, right? Should you say something else? Was he going to hate you for wasting his time? Holy crap, Kirishima is gonna hate you for wasting his time, for not telling him that at the beginning, when he first got to know you.

“(Y/N)-“ The sound of Kirishima’s soft, low voice made your head snap up, up to his face. He was looking at you, red eyes dark and large and filled with… pity? Sadness? “-I don’t even know how to tell you how wrong you are about that.”

The blanket shrouding your body was quickly pulled away, Kirishima discarding it to the side so he could shuffle closer to you, wrap you in one of his signature death-grip hugs. You were quickly pulled into his arms, the large man hunched over you as he squeezed you tight. It didn’t feel good. You wished he would remember that you didn’t like to be touched.

“I was pretty sure of my feelings before… well, before you asked if I wanted to be friends with you. And truthfully, I wasn’t exactly honest with you.” Your heart gave the tiniest squeeze. You knew he had been lying to you, but yeah, it did kinda hurt to hear him admit it.

“I kinda wanna be more than friends with you, actually.”

His hold on your body loosened, pulling back so he could look at your face. Your ugly, about-to-cry, gross face. You tried to turn away, pull out of his grip and find your blanket and crawl underneath it and stay there until you died. There was no way he was coming onto you - you weren’t good enough for him. He was Kirishima, Red Riot, pro hero, sunshine of the world, manliest and strongest guy out there.

And you were just….

You.

Kirishima didn’t let you move away. He grabbed your arms, pulled you up a bit so you were at his level. “I’m serious about this. I know you don’t believe me, all that anxiety and nervousness trying to lie to you, but….” A quick glance at his face showed the redhead to be blushing. “I’ve wanted to be more than friends from the moment I first saw you.”

Exasperated, almost angry at this point (he was lying), you scoffed, wiggling in his grip to signal that you wanted to let go.

“Kiri, I held a door open for you, it was nothing special. I’m ugly and lame and I panic over the slightest things, stop lying to me and saying that I’m someone worth your time.” Surprised, Kirishima loosened his grasp on your arms, and you moved away from him to sit on the edge of the bed. “I could never be worth your time.”

Was silence becoming a trend between the two of you? Apparently, because Kirishima didn’t say anything, just crawled over and sat down next to you. The big man was hardly ever silent, always talking about this, that, or the other. You were just a pro at messing things up, weren’t you?

A moment longer of sitting awkwardly in silence. You couldn’t take it anymore, you wanted to be able to cry about your shameful existence in peace, without having to entertain Kiri’s pity and lies.

“Can you….. Can you-you go…. Please?” You whispered, hugging your arms around your body. Oh yeah, you had forgotten you were in your gross, oversized pajamas. Just another thing for you to feel bad about.

Kirishima didn’t move.

Afraid he hadn’t heard you, you turned bright red, what an idiot - you can’t even speak loud enough to be heard. You stuttered as you started to repeat your request, but Kirishima cut you off.

“Why can’t you see?” He turned to you. “You’re the most lovely thing, I want to be around you all the time. Why can’t you see that you’re the most wonderful person in the world?”

Horrified, you reeled back. He was just pushing more lies. You felt so uncomfortable, you hated this, you wanted him to stop. “That’s-that’s just some fantasy Kiri…. I’m awful. Please, just go-“

“No.”

No? His voice sounded different, harsh and filled with authority. You looked at your feet, settled against the bare floor. You just wanted to sleep, and sleep, and never have to wake up. Why did being a human have to be so hard?

Might as well let the big redhead say his piece, make you feel worse about yourself. Then you could shove him out the door and spend the next week sobbing yourself sick.You felt bad, you couldn’t even explain your own emotions, put a name to this feeling that was painful and clawed at your chest like it was trying to rip you apart.

“You aren’t understanding me (Y/N). That’s no fantasy of mine - that’s reality.” A large hand grabbed your chin softly, turning your face towards Kiri’s. “Whenever I come up with a fantasy that involves you, I end up fucking my fist ’til I go raw.”

The admission made you stutter, and you hadn’t thought it was possible for you to blush harder, but here you were - twelve shades redder than the reddest tomato.

Kiri didn’t give you a chance to breathe. “I missed you so much, you don’t even realize. I could compliment you until I go blue in the face, but you’re so shy and nervous and adorable, you’d never, ever believe me.”

Well, that much was true. At least he knew you well.

“So instead, I’m just gonna show you how much you mean to me.”

Soft lips met your own, a hand fisting into your hair and twisting your head back to make kissing you easier for Kiri. You couldn’t even think, barely had presence of mind to push at the solid man, hitting his chest. You felt ugly, and gross, and stupid and weak, was this some sort of prank? This had to be some sort of prank. There’s no way Kirishima could actually be attracted to you.

Your mind was drawn to the present when a sharp blossom of pain emanated from your lip. Kiri pulled back, a single drop of blood running down his chin as he stared at you, your foreheads almost touching.

“Don’t get in your head, I want you here. Don’t think, just feel.”

You wanted to say something, to open your mouth and ask him again to leave. He shouldn’t be kissing you, he should be kissing someone prettier, stronger, someone who had their life together.

You wanted to protest, but you were being pushed onto your back on the bed, Kiri’s large, calloused hands grabbing at your limbs and bodily moving you however he saw fit despite your squirming.

“Kir-stop-stop touching! Don’t, please, I’m-I’m so gross-“

His lips were on yours again, swallowing your cries as he moved the two of you around on the small bed until you were splayed out underneath him. He was moving so quickly, with such confidence and self-assuredness that you couldn’t keep up. His hands were starting to squeeze at your waist, his thighs bracketing your own as the big man got comfortable over you, leaning down to avoid breaking the deep, passionate kiss.

Your lungs were burning.

You had to pull your face to the side, pushing at Kiri’s shoulders as you did so, making panicked noises as you tried (and failed) to take in air through your nose. How the hell was Kiri holding his breath this long?

The man finally got the hint, letting you pull away from him, gasping for air. You felt dizzy, his hands were still squeezing and stroking over your waist, it was too much. As you tried to get your breathing under control, you glanced up at your friend, red-faced, on the verge of tears. Why was he doing this? You were so gross, ugly, nothing when compared to how fit and muscular and handsome Kirishima was.

HIs eyes were dark, chin smeared red from the blood earlier - you bet your chin looked the same. His chest rose and fell rapidly, seemingly also out of breath, but the moment your eyes met his, the man was descending again, this time to press hot kisses all over your face, on your jaw, behind your ears.

“Don’t, oh, please don’t. Kiri-why are you-? Stop-“ You gasped, the sensations of his lips trailing across your skin too much for you to handle. A kiss to the column of your throat had you jolting, trying to sit up, not knowing what you were doing but trying to get away. It was too much.

“Lay back.” Kiri’s deep voice rumbled. “Let me make you feel good. You’ll forget about the anxiety, okay? Just focus on me.”

You didn’t want to focus on him. But at the same time, the situation was so overwhelming, you didn’t know what to do except let him push you back down with a hand on your chest.

Before you could process what happened, your clothes were off, his clothes gone as well. You wanted to shriek; cry and cover yourself and tell Kirishima to leave, but everything was happening too fast, and your body couldn’t keep up.

You felt floaty, buzzy, like you were in a weird dream, ears stopped up full of cotton.

Wet fingers prodded at your entrance. Oh, were they Kiri’s? When had they gotten wet? The fingers retracted, and you watched Kirishima gather the saliva in his mouth before spitting onto his hand.

Ah.

The fingers were back, one pushing into you, the pressure too deep, too tight, too harsh. You knew in the back of your mind that you probably looked so stupid, gasping and shivering and shaking, but you couldn’t control it.

One finger turned into two, then three, then four, and then they were gone, something much bigger trying to split you open.

You felt sick.

You couldn’t move.

Kirishima was kissing your face again, his touch burning, making your skin feel tingly and painful and rough everywhere he touched. It hurt. He was saying something, but your ears were buzzing, everything felt fuzzy and weird, and you didn’t know where to look, what to do, except lie there and let the man continue.

He was soft, gentle. But no amount of easy touches or reassuring words were getting through to you, just the overwhelming sensation of being too full, nausea thick in your stomach, throat closing up. The room tasted like blood.

The pressure wasn’t going away, just building and building and building as Kirishima thrust into you, until eventually a twinge of pleasure slipped into your system alongside the discomfort of being filled.

It felt weird… nice? You couldn’t tell anymore.

There was only sweat, slick, slapping noises, rough hands running over your skin, words being said. You couldn’t grasp anything.

You felt full, empty, all at the same time.

The pleasure built, higher and higher and higher until it burst into little sharp fragments that ran through your veins, zinging into your wrists, sparking through your tummy.

And then there was warmth inside you, and the part of you still lucid recognized that Kirishima had just cum inside your body.

You couldn’t get enough air into your lungs.

----

Kirishima was laying beside you, making shushing sounds, stroking your hair, pulling the blanket up around the two of you. The pressure between your legs was gone, as was the stinging pleasure that had spilled all over your body. You couldn’t feel, everything was still too much, too loud and bright and rough and warm.

Kirishima was still stroking your hair as you finally calmed down, hyperventilating coming to a stop, shaking still there, but not as violent as it had been.

“-so strong, and your laugh always makes me happy. I love you, and I know you love me back. It’s gonna take some time for us to work past all this nervous stuff, but I’m not give up. I’ll always be here for you, you know that?”

He was rambling, occasionally pressing soft kisses to your neck, along your collarbone - innocent, reassuring. You closed your eyes.

“You need someone to be there for you, I know. You get so anxious, and you bottle up your feelings, and I know you get so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing and you just freeze or panic.” He continued. “You won’t ever have to worry about that with me. We worked around it today, yeah? You just relax, and let me lead. I’m never gonna steer you wrong (Y/N).”

You felt cold.

#yandere #yandere kirishima eijirou #yandere boku no hero academia #kirishima #yandere kirishima eijiro #yandere kirishima #bnha kirishima #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou #anxiety #tw noncon #tw dubcon #panic attack

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