#‘it’s not a big deal’ is the FASTEST way to piss me off. because it’s CLEARLY a big deal to me if i’m bothering to get in your face about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ashes-writing · 2 years

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Plz share ur thoughts on "The Breakfast Club" boys?

GOD BLESS YOU FOR THIS. LOVE MY BOYS OKAY? THIS MOVIE IS LIKE.. Listen.. I have a quote from it tattooed on my arm, so yeah. I'll happily attempt this for you.

These are all kind of a mixed bag. I tried to do it that way so romance wasn't front and center but it was there. I had so much fun doing these, btw.

Hope you enjoy them as much as me.

Warnings: Uh.. probably drinking / drugs / vague mentions of unstable home life / toxic family dynamics and that's it..

Tag List: Ah, well, see.. Sadly, there's nobody on any of my taglists yet, so.. yeah. I just made them though it's no big deal.

Other stuff: Nah.

✯ Loves to stare. It’s both a power thing and a being observant thing and it’s up to you to decide which of the above is the reason for his staring.

✯ Uses sarcasm to flirt. The only problem with this is that in doing so, he tends to wind up wearing a lot of sodas over his head because the sarcasm is so natural that he really comes across as an asshole. Rule of thumb here. If he’s got a certain smirk.. Lopsided and there’s this playful gleam in his eyes as he’s saying whatever smartass thing he’s saying, it’s not sarcasm sweets.. Boy is flirting and he’s flirting hella hard.

✯ Pretends he doesn’t give a shit when you fight with each other but 9 out of 10, especially if you cry, he’ll kind of awkwardly hold you against him. Don’t expect a verbal apology though, he doesn’t really uh.. Do those. I mean he does, but it’s never an outright “I’m sorry.” it’s more or less “I was wrong.” or some other variation of “I’m sorry.” because try as he might, he just can’t seem to bring himself to say he’s sorry.

✯ His idea of a romantic night is a blanket in a truck bed with some shitty gas station soda and premium w*ed. Maybe a little fooling around by the light of the moon while some classic rock is playing (Think Zepplin or Sabbath here, because while he /is/ a metalhead, he enjoys slower and softer rock to set the mood, so to speak.). If you’re looking for 5 star, you won’t find that here. Bender is dirt fucking poor. So he hardly has the money to actually take you anywhere. But if you want spontaneous drives, breaking and entering the community pool to have a little midnight swim after hours or little outings like the one I described above? Bender here is your boy.

✯ He gives as good as he gets. He’s got a razor sharp tongue and he’s not afraid to use it. But.. Growing up in the household he’s grown up in has kind of given him this sense of “I’m not gonna lay hands on the person I love, I don’t fucking care how bad they are.”.. But he does have his breaking point. When he reaches it, he’ll leave. Could be for a few minutes, could be for an hour.. It could be for a whole week. When he’s this pissed, it’s best to just leave him to his own devices. He needs the cool down. I feel like while we saw him get angry in the movie here and there, he held back a lot.. I feel like maybe his anger scares the living shit out of him, so if he ever gets this mad with a person he cares about (be it friend or lover, whatever), he will avoid them until he cools off.

✯ He’s not really the jealous type. If you’re planning to try and make him jealous, prepare to have it blow right up in your face. Oh, he’ll fight for you if someone is threatening you, yeah.. But if someone is coming on to you, he’ll hang back. He’ll observe and he’ll observe carefully. If you’re into it, most of the time this will start him distancing, so yeah.. If you wanna lose John Bender this is the second fastest way to do it.

✯ The reason he has such a problem with Claire in the beginning is because she’s kind of on the fake side and he’s kind of observant enough in that he can see and recognize that. It’s also the reason he kind of hates Andrew also. This leads me into my next point. He’s not really a fan of lying. A little fib about where you stashed your J or a fib for the greater good isn’t terrible, but.. It’s when a person lies constantly, through their teeth, 25/8/365 that really grinds his gears. And if you wanna lose John Bender real fast? Lie to him about something major. Come to him under false pretenses. He’ll sniff it out every time and call you out on it promptly.

✯ Weed and cigarettes are his two vices. Alcohol isn’t something he enjoys, I mean.. The guy grew up fearing the sound of daddy’s key hitting the lock. Half of his childhood was probably spent with leather sliding through belt loops or hidden in his room, the scent of his father’s whiskey hanging heavily in the air around him as his parents had an all out brawl down the hallway. For this reason, he doesn’t really drink a whole lot, he’ll do one now and then when it’s been a real fucking rough day. It’s also no thanks to the reason above that he tends to avoid stupid parties like the plague unless he’s party to a deal going down or something.

✯ Good with his hands. In more ways than one. I feel like he plays guitar. I also feel like he does mechanic work to stash away money. Do with this knowledge what you will.

✯ He likes to take/tear things -and people apart and find out what makes them tick, see for example how he totally read Claire and Andrew for filth with no hesitation when they were all stuck in detention together. He was trying to ‘tear them down’ to see what buttons were their hot ones. Because when he got them good and angry, he got glimpses of the real people beneath their ‘known’ personas.

✯ Dirty minded. Oh my god, so dirty minded. Every third thought that leaves his mouth, especially when he’s good and high… A dirty thought. Some people find it off putting but some seem to like it. Bear in mind though, when I say dirty minded I mean f-i-l-t-h-y. “Let’s lock the doors and knock up the prom queen” was childs play to some of the shit this man says -and thinks, on a daily basis.

✯ Smells like a mix of motor oil / engine grime, weed and sweat.

✯ Is actually good at basketball but refused to try out because his old man played in high school and if it pisses off the old man in some small way, well.. He’s gonna do it.

✯ Guilty pleasure music is Bryan Adams. But it’s only two songs. “Somebody” and “Run To You.” and he only ever listens to them when he’s in a reasonably good mood.

✯ As a friend, he’s more of the “Only I can talk shit about my friend.” type and he will throw hands in seconds if anybody hurts someone he cares about. It’s just.. Due to his prickly defenses, nobody really seems to get that close. I theorize that after their detention, Bender did take to ‘shadowing’ Brian Johnson because the kid just needed a set of eyes on him. This did not thrill Johnson’s parents at all. But nobody ever bothered him again, it was almost as if the kid became immune to the bullying endured by his friends at the hands of other kids.

✯ Andy seems like your typical dumb jock at first glance and honestly, what you see is what you get.. Except he’s not nearly as dumb as everyone thinks. See, he plays dumb. It’s his own way of gaming the system. If the bar is set in hell, then anything he does is technically above expectation, right? Right.. He may seem dumb but he’s not and he know exactly when to reveal this to people.

✯ The toxic masculinity in this man’s life.. I feel sorry for him, tbh. He has a hard time processing emotions. He has a hard time expressing emotions and the first time he cried about something he felt so… dirty. His father was something of a legend back in the day, so I’m thinking that Andy was pushed to follow the old man’s footsteps. I kind of feel like Bender’s dad and Andy’s dad could be best friends, what with their combined shitty parenting. I also feel like maybe when Bender was on his rant about his home life, Andy looked so uncomfortable because to an extent, he hears a variation on some of the things Bender admitted his father said. “You’ll never be me.” or “You can do better” when the man is clearly trying his best. He busts his ass for his father’s approval and deep down, he’s all messed up inside because he knows it won’t ever come. BUT.. BUT.. he’s trying to come to terms with that post movie and he eventually gets to a point where he gives no fucks whether his dad is proud or not anymore, he only worries about whether he’s proud of himself -or whether or not if he told his future kids about whatever it is he’s doing, would they be proud.

✯ To piggyback off of the above. I think Andy has a bit of an unstable home life too. Not nearly as bad as Benders but.. It’s not great. I feel like maybe Andy wants to become the father that his own couldn’t/refused to be for him to his own kids one day. So he’ll be the settled one, the one with three happy and well adjusted -even if a little rambunctious, kids of his own one day. And he won’t repeat the shit his father did to him. If his son wants to be an artist? He’ll get top fucking tier art supplies. Little girl wants to be a lineman? Andy sets up practice in the backyard. He’s going to do his best not to be the man his father was. So.. yeah..

✯ Andy seems like a serial dater to me. Different person every week or two, that kind of thing. However.. I do feel like he does it because he’s searching so desperately for the love and approval that either one or both of his parents won’t give. I’m not real sure about his mom and their relationship in my own head but I strongly feel that the relationship between father and son is like a landmine. There’s a lot of bitterness and disapproval and misunderstanding there.

✯ Speaking of dates, Andy is surprisingly thoughtful when it comes to planning them. He’s observant, like Bender, and he uses the things he learns about a person to find the best way to make them like him more. (Can we say stunning lack of confidence at all because yeah..) So a date with Andy is always an adventure because somehow, he always just seems to know what the person lucky enough to go on a date with him wants, to the letter. And if he really wants them to like him well.. He’s been known to pull out all the stops.

✯ Andy comes from a middle class family and they’re more on the upper side. This comes with a mountain of debt because his parents are probably your typical 80’s keepin up with the Joneses type. So he’s not loaded (like I feel Alison is) but he’s not dirt poor (like we kind of know Bender is) but he has enough money to blow here and there. Here’s the thing.. He doesn’t. He’s got it stashed away.

✯ Continuing with the money thing, I feel like he and Bender actually lowkey became friends after their detention. I feel like maybe Bender told him to come work at the garage (that I feel Bender works at, i don’t make the rules) and from there, a friendship grew. I feel like Andy knows how broke Bender is, so sometimes, he’ll slip Bender some money covertly like say.. It’s been a 12 hour day in a hot shop during the summer and they’re down to their last beer. Bender is down to his last cigarette and Andy knows he doesn’t have money to reup. Andy will slip a fiver or something into Bender’s stupid fucking jacket and when Bender finds it later, he’ll play dumb and let Bender think he put it there while high at some point.

✯ Andy is good at math and history. Numbers are his thing, despite everyone believing otherwise. It’s English that fucks him up. Oh and science because it’s just so boring for him to grasp.

✯ After he found out it was his friends that taped the ass of Brian’s friend together, Andy had a few harsh words (and fists) to share with them. The saturday detention was the beginning of Andy’s world view expanding. I feel like he does the same as Bender, but his protective arm extends to the entire chess club, not just Brian. Brian tutors him in English because he feels like he owes him because he’s now so vocal when it comes to Brian and his friends and Brian knows it has to have had an effect on Andy’s relationship with the team.

✯ His guilty pleasure music is some obscure metal band Bender dragged him out to see at some point. Oh and Poison. He wishes he had the confidence that glam rock era Brett Michaels seems to have.

✯ Andy is more of a behind closed doors person when it comes to PDA but he will slip an arm around you or pull you to his side and kiss the top of your head in public. Now behind closed doors, whew… All those reservations melt away and this sweet, touchy feely romantic side surfaces. He can’t be close to you or touch you enough. But when you’re out in public, he keeps it simple. Sweet. And his words (because he totally brags and takes every chance to praise you to anyone who will listen because he just loves you so fucking much) do more of the showing his love.

✯ Supportive as hell. He just doesn’t want anyone to ever feel one tenth of the way his own father makes him feel 100 percent of the time. So he’ll be there cheering on the people he cares about, doing whatever he can to let them know that he’s proud of them.

✯ Outrageously short fuse and does not tolerate bullying after the detention awakening. It takes nothing to make him angry, especially if it comes to people hurting someone he cares about (Be it friend, family or lover). After the one detention he got himself at least three more because he got into it with members of his own team on behalf of Brian and Brian’s friends.

✯ If it’s not obvious, he goes from going along with the bullying to utterly loathing bullies. I think when he heard Brian’s reason to be in detention, it kind of.. Something clicked for him because he just looked entirely too involved as Brian was saying it to all of them not to. He realized what was going on, so now he’s working on himself.

✯ Has a definite thing for smaller / shorter people in romantic relationships. He loves to feel bigger and stronger. He loves to feel like the protector and given the changes that come about post detention date of destiny, the protector role kinda suits him. So he loves to be the bigger person in relationships.

✯ Very good kisser. But his kisses are messy. Roaming hands and tongues. What starts off as the meeting of two mouths tends to go awry and it’s more or less turned into a whole body affair.

✯ Makes the best mix tapes. Because when he cares about someone, he gets all caught up and he learns every little thing about them. So he knows their favorite songs even if they don’t really talk about them.

✯ He’s not the kind of guy who wastes words. He’s not a big talker. So if you’re friends or you’re with him, you better bring your conversation skills to the table.. Or be content to just sit in silence and know you’re there, together.

✯ The family dynamic, oh my gods. The kid is stressed beyond belief. His parents expect perfection because as I feel, they were far from it. I feel like he comes from a large family. They were probably high school lovers, guy knocks up girl, they get married because it’s the right thing to do and then four kids later, or more… They realize they kind of made a mess of their own lives. They’re good people, they just expect the moon and stars from all their kids. They ride Brian the hardest because he’s the oldest. He’s the one setting the example for his siblings. All this pressure is most likely the biggest reason he wound up in detention to begin with.

✯ Lower middle class. Definitely. I feel like Brian’s old clothes get passed down to the younger ones and maybe when Brian was smaller, when things were tougher for his parents, they might have even been just a rung or two above the Bender family on the economic scale and maybe this got him picked on.

✯ He’s a sweetheart. Very much a gentleman. Will blush if he walks in on someone changing and he’ll awkwardly apologize while stumbling backwards with a hand over his eyes out the door. I feel like if he had done the deed, he’d only done it once. This being said, he’s a tad perverted too. Not in a creepy way or anything, but like… He just fucking stares at a person when he’s into them because every part of the person is attractive to him.

✯ He’s a quick thinker. A very quick thinker.

✯ If he dated anyone, they’d be treated like a god/goddess, oh my god. This guy would move fucking mountains for the person he loves. Mountains.

✯ Claire kind of takes to setting him up with girls she notices him watching. She also takes him shopping and like.. She just kind of mothers the kid now and then. Brian appreciates it, too. And he repays her by helping her out with school. He won’t do her assignments for her, but he does help her with them.

✯ He kind of grows out of the whole ‘puppy’ persona and into his own post detention. People had been using him to get passing grades. But then Bender takes him aside and kind of goes all “Hey.. If you’re gonna do it, at least make a little somethin for yourself.” and thus, this is how Brian becomes the go to at his high school -and on into college, for essays and such. For a small fee, he’ll write you a paper. He also stops taking so much shit from everyone. He won’t fight because he can’t, but. He learns that his mouth/words work just as well as fists. He learns to look out for himself a bit more.

✯ wears mismatched cartoon themed socks most of the time.

✯ very very talented artist. Also a very talented writer. His parents view this hobby as a waste of time and discourage it, but Brian continues because it’s something he enjoys. It ultimately leads to him doing a stint with a newspaper as a cartoonist. He also pens a novel or two under alternate names.

✯ Because of the way his parents were, he has a hard time letting loose. Until Bender and Andy, that is. Afterwards, he really comes out of his shell and he goes from being the wallflower at parties to being the guy with pretty okay moves for a scrawny kid or the pushover nerd to the guy who will write you a kick ass essay for twenty bucks.. He starts to make friends a lot easier. He learns to value his relaxation a hell of a lot more too.

✯ likes long drives. He’ll get in the car and just drive until he feels moved to stop. Then he’ll sit around and make a few nature sketches and just relax.

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lightsovermonaco · 3 years

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His Good Sweater: Chapter 16

Masterlist

Thanks to @acollectionofficsandshit for being my bestie and beta reading! This would have never happened without her ❤ Make sure you read Roman Profile, set in the same universe!

Word Count: 6.3k

Recommended song: “The Thrill” by Wiz Khalifa & Empire of the Sun

Your Saturday gets off to a great start when you spot Sylvie lurking in the corner of the garage. The woman pointedly raises an eyebrow at you when she notices you, the simple action setting you on edge. You glare at her in return, having none of it while Pierre suits up.

"Take care of this for me, will you?" Pierre places his cap backwards on your head. You smile, adjusting it so it's out of your eyes.

"I will." You glance over his shoulder before chastely kissing his cheek. You'd deal with Sylvie later; Pierre didn't need any distractions when he was about to get out on track.

"Nope, not acceptable." Pierre kisses your lips, completely unaware of the shit you'd likely catch as soon as he was gone because of it.

You sigh and take half a step back. Having none of it, Pierre places a knuckle under your chin, tipping your face towards him.

"Sylvie making you nervous?" The pad of his thumb sweeping over your jaw gives you something solid to focus on. "I can ask her to leave if she is."

You shake your head. "Not nervous, no. But she's getting under my skin."

Pierre sets down his helmet and waves off Pyry who tries to shove it back in his hands, prepared to address the matter and hash out a solution immediately. "What's going on?"

"It's not a big deal," you try, "I can tell you after practice. You've only got a few minutes until lights out."

"I want to know now, mon amour."

Fighting was pointless. He would stand here until you spilled the beans so you might as well get it over with so he could get out on track. "Fine. Sylvie cornered me Thursday and asked me to lay low this weekend because of some interview you did. She gave me a copy of it but I didn't read it. She said it's bad for your image to be seen doting on me when you've got races to win."

Pierre blinks, head swiveling in slow motion. Sylvie watches your interaction like a hawk, waiting for either of you to slip up. "And you kept this to yourself?"

"I didn't want to distract you. You've got a job to do." A blush creeps up your neck and settles on the apples of your cheeks. "Sylvie was mad enough at me, I didn't want her in your face too."

A muscle in his jaw ticks. "That's bullshit. I stood up for you. That's why she's pissed. I told them you were just as important to me as racing."

Your heart somersaults in your chest. "You said that in an interview? Pierre, that's-"

Pierre drops Sylvie's stare and meets yours. "I love you and I won't apologize for it. I don't have time to talk to her now though- are you okay being here with her until after practice?"

"I'll be okay as long as you top the time charts," you tell him, a smile playing on your lips. When you'd gotten back together you had told yourself nothing would come between the two of you again, up to and including nosy PR agents who couldn't keep their hands out of your business.

"I will, just for you." Helmet in hand, he pecks your cheek before heading to the car. Pierre shoots Sylvie a glare and says something to Pyry before clambering into the car.

Pyry doesn't leave your side for the entirety of practice, chasing off Sylvie each time she tries to approach you. Pierre nearly tops the charts, sitting second fastest on the famed street circuit. Only Max clocked a faster time, which didn't surprise anyone. Pierre's side of the garage erupts when he is wheeled inside and is met with claps on the back and wide smiles from his team.

Confidence radiates from him as he peels off his helmet and thanks his team. A grin from ear to ear splits his face as he makes his way to you before he even bothers to unzip his suit. Before you know it he's swept you in his arms and planted a kiss on your lips.

"It's not first, but I'll take second if you're waiting here when I get back."

"It's only practice," you remind him, swiping away a bead of sweat from his neck with the pad of your thumb. "But you drive like that for quali in a few hours and you might get your first pole."

"What did I tell you?" Sylvie hisses, ruining the moment and sending you crashing back to earth.

Instead of falling into line, Pierre's grip on your waist tightens. "Leave her alone, Sylvie."

"This isn't good for you," the woman insists. "People are saying you've gone soft-"

"I don't care what they say. My results speak for themselves." And they did. Second fastest today in practice, despite Monaco being a track that Pierre generally had a poor record at. "When I start slipping to the back of the pack you can talk to me about it. But even then it's out of your wheelhouse. I don't care what the gossip columns have to say about me-"

Pierre breaks off and you can see the pieces clicking in his head. "You've never cared either, not even when I got demoted. Horner put you up to this, didn't he?"

Sylvie straightens under the weight of Pierre's question, good enough as giving him an answer. "I have a job to do."

"And so do I." His words freeze over, his attitude icy. "How about you back off and let me do it? I don't need another person breathing down my neck. And she certainly doesn't either. And you know what? I'll make you a deal. If I win tomorrow, you leave us alone and keep your nose out of my personal life."

"You'll thank me when your name is out of the tabloids." Bewildered, you stare after her until Pierre's lips meet your temple, the simple gesture sending a tingle down your spine.

"I wish it was easier for us," you murmur, placing a hand on his broad chest as if you were the only two in the garage. "But as long as I have you, it's worth the fight."

"Don't let it get to you. You make me a better racer, no matter what anyone says. You taught me that I have something to fight for. You're the one that picks me up when I don't think I can make it. Without you, I probably would've blown my chance at taking seventh in the championship."

"And I'm the one that tells you when it's time to get your ass back in the car and race your heart out." You grin up at him, not caring for a second who was watching this time when you kiss him. "I expect you to be a pole sitter next time you're back in this garage. I might have already told my mom it was happening, so don't make me a liar."

"If I take pole, will you wear my cap again tonight? Just my cap?"

"That could be arranged."

**********

Pierre may not have taken pole, but qualifying fifth was more than enough reason to treat him to fulfilling his request. With only the Red Bulls, Charles and Hamilton ahead of him, you were confident he could at minimum hold his position, and at best his team would come up with a strategy that saw him undercut one or two of the guys ahead and put him on the podium.

As usual, Pierre gets to the circuit a few hours early to clear his head and walk the track one last time. Since it’s not a mandatory part of his race preparation, you take the opportunity to walk with him. The clouds part just enough for the sun to shine down on him, practically glowing in the light. Apparently not even the celestial bodies were immune to his beauty, coming out solely to appease him. Your gaze eats up the curve of his throat as he tips his head back to enjoy the golden rays warming his skin.

“Beau Rivage,” he murmurs as you come up to the right hand bend. “One of the few spots for overtaking, if you’re lucky.” Pierre studies the pavement, noting where patches of gravel had built up and toeing them with his shoe. His commitment was something to behold; not even Max could be bothered with a track walk on Wednesday, and forget about waking up with the dawn to participate in an optional one on race day.

Pierre was different though, throwing himself into the sport and refusing to commit anything less than a hundred percent. That commitment was one of the things that had drawn you to him in the first place and continued to be something you admired. You missed him when you were apart, but hearing the thrill in his voice when he spoke about racing lines or braking points never failed to remind you that he was living his dream and you would never stand in his way.

You thread your fingers through his, soaking it in as he walks you through the track. This wasn’t an opportunity you had often and you were determined to embrace and enjoy it.

“Massenette and Casino Square. This braking zone is tricky, if you go too wide you’ll lose seconds of time and probably a good chunk of your front wing, unless by some miracle you miss the barrier.”

Having little to offer to his assessment, you rest your head on his shoulder as you walk. You try to see the track through his eyes, picturing the cockpit around you as you attempt to pick out an adequate braking point.

You continue on in amiable silence, stopping once or twice so Pierre can take pictures with fans and chat with them. Eventually you come to a corner you recognize, one of the most infamous.

“I know this one.” You puff out your chest, holding an imaginary microphone to your lips. “The Lowes hairpin. Slowest corner on the calendar. The cars decelerate to 65 kph, a feat achieved nowhere else.”

Pierre throws his head back and laughs, making your heart stutter. You never wanted to go another day without hearing the full-bellied sound, rich and rife with more happiness than should be humanly possible. “You only know that because Crofty and Brundle bring that up every race, don’t you?”

“Maybe.” You beam back at him when he shakes his head, the action more to say I knew it than to express disappointment. Because he could never be disappointed in you, especially not for taking an interest in what he loved. You tended to queue up archived races to listen to in the background as you studied, meaning it was inevitable that some of the quips from the commentators rubbed off on you sooner or later.

“Now this is my favorite,” Pierre says, adjusting his cap to keep the sun out of his eyes.

“The swimming pool chicaines? Why?” They were considered boring by most racers, flat out but navigable by muscle memory if you’d had enough practice.

Pierre’s self assured grin leaves you in a puddle on the pavement. “Cause I’ll be jumping in that pool today, and I’m taking you with me.”

"I don't think so." You point to the hoodie you wore, one that you had stolen from his closet ages ago and since refused to give back under any circumstances. "I'm in irreplaceable gear. I don't want to ruin it."

Pierre rolls his eyes, dropping your hand in favor of slinging an arm around your shoulders. "I love it when you wear my clothes. My hat yesterday, my hoodie today, anything really. I love having that claim on you."

"If only I could get you to wear some of mine," you muse as the pit boxes come into view.

"If you ask nicely, I'd consider it."

The garage is thrumming with anticipation before Pierre even enters. Checo’s engine penalty is all anyone can talk about, his subsequent start from the pit lane meant Pierre would effectively move up a place and start fourth.

Pierre is whisked away as soon as Tost spots him, the warm old man greeting you before stealing your boyfriend away. You know your way around well enough to be comfortable, staking out your spot along the back wall to observe the team's preparations. The early wake up call was quickly catching up with you however, your lack of movement causing you to stifle a yawn with the back of your hand.

"You look like you could use a coffee."

A young woman about your age steps into your line of sight and holds out a steaming foam cup. "Er, sure, thanks."

"Alana," she says, sticking her hand out for you to shake. "I'm one of the junior engineers for the team. I've seen you around once or twice, I figured it was about time I introduced myself."

"Thank you for the coffee, Alana." You lift the cup in mock salute and take a sip, the contents rich and flavorful. "I swear, I don't know what you guys lace this with, but it's addictive as hell."

The two of you share a laugh that earns you a few confused glances. "I think we're gonna be great friends," she says, tapping her own cup against yours. "It's nice to see another woman around the paddock. Sometimes it gets a little testosterone heavy."

You nod, taking another swig. You can practically feel the caffeine working, already a little more alert than you were minutes ago.

"It's great luck."

"Pierre moving up a place?"

Alana laughs, her ponytail swaying as she shakes her head. "No, I meant you being able to attend the race. You picked the best weekend to be trackside, the podium celebrations are the best."

Pierre startles you by snaking an arm around your waist and planting a kiss on your cheek.

"There's our star," Alana says, her smile bright and optimistic. "Better bring your team another trophy! The next one is going in the engineering department, they already have a little plaque made up and everything. I can see it right from my desk."

"Oh I'll bring one home," he replies, his hand casually grazing your ass as he moves to stand beside you. "I already promised her I would and I'm a man of my word."

"I know you will."

"You have those time tables I asked about?"

"They're in the engineering suite." Alana hooks a thumb over her shoulder and smiles at you. "You're welcome to come back with us. He concentrates better when you're around anyway."

"Are you sure?" Red Bull never let you anywhere near proprietary data. You and any of Max's guests had always been corralled into the vip suite with the occasional venture down into the garage when they were wrapping up.

"You're part of the family," Alana explains as if it was obvious. "Of course I'm sure."

Pierre grins and gives your hand an encouraging squeeze. His team knew he wanted you near and they were willing to bend the rules to make it happen. "We'll try not to bore you to death."

You sit through a half hour worth of numbers and codes you didn't understand, your arm slung around the back of Pierre's chair. He offers tidbits and asks questions while Alana and the other engineers walk him through scenarios, ensuring he has everything down. The way he spoke was quite possibly the hottest thing you've ever had the pleasure of witnessing, aside from post race Pierre with his sweaty hair sticking up in every direction and an adrenaline infused smile on his red cheeks.

Before you know it the two of you are ushered off to his driver's room, Pierre changing into his fireproofs and suit while you treat yourself to some of the snacks lying about. Pyry knocks just as Pierre zips his suit up to his chin.

"Hunt 'em down," you say, resting your forehead to his and stealing a moment for the two of you.

"Always do."

And god, does he ever.

Ten laps in, Hamilton is complaining about the balance of his Mercedes, the gap between himself and Max is only a few seconds and rapidly decreasing. The headphones you wear allow you to catch snips of driver radio and team communications, and you gather that Hamilton is slowly losing power. No one is sure if it's an electronics issue or an engine issue but they aren't complaining either.

Flawless pit stops from most teams see little shift in track positions, Pierre still holding fast to P4 a little over halfway through the seventy eight laps. Alpha's stellar strategy sees him rejoin fifth after sliding into the pits for a set of mediums to take him to the end of the race.

"Gap to Norris three seconds ahead," comes the voice in your ear.

Pierre clings tight to the rear of Lando's papaya McLaren ahead, using DRS to his advantage and practically toying with the younger racer, waiting for the opportunity to strike.

Three short laps later, Pierre skirts around the McLaren at Beau Rivage and reclaims fourth.

Hamilton's ability to stretch tire performance to the maximum means he gets ten more laps before he's in the pits, Max closing in on his track position. The Mercedes crew stumbles, the pit stop more than twice as long as it should be, and Hamilton rejoins fourth.

"In the podium places," Pierre's engineer states.

Seconds later, white smoke pours from Max's Red Bull and he pulls off, causing a yellow flag and bunching up the pack.

P2, with only the Ferrari standing between Pierre and a win.

"Easy pickings Pierre, choose your moment."

Your heart pounds and your nails bite into your palms as Pierre goes around the outside at the hairpin, the entire garage shouting when he somehow gets away clean and the Monegasque backs off enough for Pierre to take the lead.

"P1 mate, two laps to go, two laps."

Pierre's brisk copy tells you all you need to know. He wasn't about to let this win slip through his fingers. Neck craned up at the screen, you watch as Pierre fights tooth and nail to fend off his friend, gasping audibly when a slight lockup nearly causes the two to collide around a chicane.

When he crosses the line, all you hear is a staticy scream.

Pierre Gasly, you are a Monaco Grand Prix winner!

It almost doesn't feel real how everyone around you begins jostling for the podium, their momentum carrying you along. A combination of luck and skill had seen him skyrocket to the top.

When you finally catch a glimpse of him in parc ferme, he stands atop the halo, arms spread wide amongst the deafening cheers of both Red Bull sister teams. Pressed between sweaty bodies, his team all push to the front to be the ones to congratulate him.

You blink back hot tears. Pierre had fought incredibly hard to be on that top step, not just today but the entire season. Being demoted from Red Bull last year had been a backhanded blow, one that when coupled with his insistence on going back to the team in the future had warranted a feeding frenzy of media that ebbed and flowed as rumors surfaced. He'd been under the microscope ever since, struggling to keep his head above water but managing to come out on top.

Someone pushes you forward just as he takes off his helmet, his grin wild and unrestrained. Your mouth is open, his name on the tip of your tongue when a hand closes around your arm.

"This isn't your moment," Sylive says, near shouting to be heard over the roar. "No one wants to see you up there in the frame. This is his podium, let the media see that."

This woman really wanted to be knocked out, didn't she?

"He just won the prix." Dumbfounded at her audacity, you shake your head. "Leave us alone, he won."

"He could win the championship and I would still tell you to back off. There's hundreds of cameras out there, do you even have it in you to hold yourself together when they're all flashing at you?"

If she had asked you that question a few months ago, the answer would have been no, absolutely not. Now that you'd been to hell and back it was an entirely different story. You could walk through the throng and come out the other side unscathed if you had your best friend and partner at your side. He would shield you for the worst of it, be their punching back in order to make the burden bearable.

"Sylvie, if you don't get your hands off me-"

"Oh, sure," she says, releasing you with a smile. "He's already gone anyway. I only needed a minute."

Brow furrowed, you investigate her claim to find the truth of it. Pierre was already being herded away towards the podium, toweling off the residual sweat and setting his helmet on the provided stand. He throws one last glance over his shoulder before climbing the steps to the podium, his baby blue eyes cloudy when they should have been sunny.

Pierre's team principal calls your name as the boys take their places on the steps, gesturing for you to join him at the barriers. "Where were you? He was looking for you."

"No, I know," you start, shaking your head and gazing up at your racer. "Sylvie has it in her head that I shouldn't be photographed with him-"

"Say no more," Tost says, then pauses as the crowd claps. "I've never liked her."

"You and me both," you say under your breath as the anthems play.

Pierre's hungry gaze scours the crowd for you, hands folded neatly behind his back while he bounces on his feet. When he finally spots you in Tost's shadow his shoulders straighten the tiniest bit, like he had been half expecting you to be absent. The pride in his posture is reflected in your smile, a fact that he picks up on and leverages to shine even brighter.

Absently, you register the shutter of a camera going off as you beam up at Pierre. Your winner locks eyes with you before popping the cork of his champagne and spraying his fellow podium sitters, Daniel and Charles, before taking a long swig. Daniel blows a kiss to his girlfriend who mimes catching it and tucking it away while Pierre simply wraps Charles in an embrace, marveling in their first shared Formula 1 podium.

Pierre is surprisingly the first to leave, stalking off with his trophy and bottle in hand before the cameras have even stopped rolling. You track his progress, the crowd slowing him like he was a marble trying to sink through molasses. His thanks are short, his smile tight as he makes his way to you, eyes locked on his target and utterly unwilling to yield.

You meet him at the barrier which you still haven't been allowed to cross thanks to security taking their job far too seriously. Pierre doesn't care, tucking his trophy under his arm and unhooking a section so that you can slip through.

A laugh bubbles out of you when he wraps you in a bone crushing hug, lifting you off your feet and spinning in circles. Taking his face in your hands you kiss him passionately, wholly aware of the cameras on you. This was your moment to share with him; your universe had narrowed to his arms around you and the sweat-slick skin beneath your fingers.

"Congratulations," you murmur against his lips. "How's it feel to be a Monaco grand prix winner?"

"Better now that I've gotten to hear you say it." The brim of his Pirelli cap gets in the way when he tries to kiss you again and he turns it around.

"You gonna celebrate tonight, race winner?" The endearment works just as you had wanted it to, pride and something more primal flashing in his eyes.

His voice drops, his wicked grin already causing heat to pool in your core. "I have a few ideas."

"Me too." Now that the crowd has disappeared somewhat, you grow bold and nip at his lower lip. It sends a thrill through you to rile him up so publicly, his fingers tightening on your hips in surprise.

"Mon amour, you stop that right now." The slight shake in his voice betrays his true feelings. "I still have to weigh in and debrief."

"Maybe I want you thinking of me while you're there." You wrap your arms around his neck, grinning when he gulps. "Thinking of all the things I'll let you do when you get back to the apartment. Charles will be gone all night partying with Ferrari, I'm sure. We'll have the place to ourselves."

"We've got a full night ahead of us." He grins, tongue darting out over his lips. "We've got the winners dinner too."

You tip your head to the side. "Winners dinner? I don't-"

Someone calls his name and you both look in their direction. A race official, clearly fed up with your little display of love, waves Pierre over.

"Duty calls." Reluctantly, Pierre sets you back on your feet and passes off the champagne before he retreats to answer questions or whatever it was the official needed from him.

Watching him walk away, all you can think about is getting him back to the apartment. But first, you'd drag it out as much as he'd let you.

*********

Pierre spends the entirety of the debrief locked in an unending battle between thinking of you in compromising positions and actually giving feedback to his team. It wasn't his fault that you planted the seed in his mind; he couldn't help but expand on what your dirty little lips had whispered in his ear once he finally found you after the podium.

"Okay, I think that's all we have. See you all at the pool in an hour," Alina says, and Pierre practically rips off his headset and sprints back to his driver's room. He bursts in without stopping to knock, earning him a yelp as you drop your phone on your face.

"Ow. A warning would be nice."

"I don't care," Pierre breathes, locking the door behind him and crossing to where you lay on the couch in a few long strides. "I've got an hour till I'm due to make an appearance for the cameras at the pool, care to make it memorable?"

"Oh, I don't know." You pick your phone back up and continue scrolling through it after giving him a once over. Leaving his race suit on and half undone served dual purposes: he didn't have to change again before the photo op at the pool and it drove you crazy. Apparently, his plan hadn't worked as well as he had hoped. "I kinda like seeing you all worked up."

"Come on," he practically whines, dropping to his knees to meet your glinting eyes. "Please?"

"I think you can wait." The corners of your mouth tug up and it's all he can do to resist leaning forward dragging your full bottom lip between his teeth. Energy still thrums through him, the adrenaline not yet faded.

Noting his stare, you roll your eyes. "Okay, one kiss-"

He doesn't let you finish, leaping on the opportunity to get a tiny sliver of what he wants. His tongue prods your lip and he groans when you open and allow him to explore. Hands glide over your hips while yours find his shoulders, nails digging in through the thin material of his fireproofs. Without breaking the kiss Pierre slots himself above you, a leg on either side of yours and caging your head between his forearms where they rest on the arm of the couch.

When he grinds his hips against yours in search of any sort of relief, you turn your head to the side. Pierre doesn't care, simply trailing hot, open mouthed kisses down your neck. The building could be burning to the ground around him and he wouldn't move, too enraptured by you to be bothered.

"Pierre, my love, be patient." You push lightly at his chest and he finally breaks away, chest heaving. God, he needed you. Hadn’t stopped thinking about you once since he crossed that finish line in first. "Where's that unwavering self restraint you show on the track?"

"I'm not racing." He possessed no self restraint when it came to you. In your presence every sane thought flew out the window, replaced by the sound of your laugh and the shape your mouth made when you said his name.

"Waiting makes it sweeter," you tease, the phrase jangling something loose in his brain. He had said the same thing months ago when your roles had been reversed. If he could go back in time and slap himself upside the head for uttering those words, he would.

Pierre sits up with a huff and pulls you into his lap. "No fair. I just won a race, at Monaco no less, and you're gonna tell me I have to wait when you're sitting here looking perfectly edible?"

You tip your head back and laugh. "I am, because I know you'll enjoy it more tonight."

"But we have the drivers dinner too-"

You put a finger to his lips, which he immediately bites softly. "Be patient. I know you can do it, big boy."

Pierre groans, squeezing his eyes shut and letting his head fall forward to rest on your sternum. "I'm going to remember this."

Your traitorous fingers wind in his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. "How about a massage while you wait, hmm? Would that calm some of this energy you've got built up?"

"No," he grumbles, pressing a kiss to your chest. "That'll make it worse."

"Well then I think it's a perfect idea." Pierre makes you work for it, forcing you to peel his hands off your hips one at a time before you can stand. "Fireproofs off and on your tummy, come on then."

Pierre obeys, eagerly tossing his shirt across the room. He knew he'd regret it and your teasing would leave his head spinning, but anything that got him closer to you was acceptable.

"Lay down."

The command stirs something in his chest. He kisses you once before pillowing his arms under his head and allowing you to straddle his thighs. Your knuckles work at the stiff cords of muscle along his spine and he doesn't tamp down on the small noises of pleasure that start in the back of his throat. Once in a while you lean forward to press a kiss to his bare back, each one setting off a chain reaction in him that goes straight to his cock.

When you reach the base of his spine, he goes completely limp under your fingers. "Merde," he whispers, both a plea and a praise. "Right there, baby."

Something had been digging into his back during the race and it caused a knot to form by his left hip. A low moan escapes him before he can stop it and you hum in approval.

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

"So good," is all he manages to get out around the noise in his brain. His head is filled with your touch, reducing him to ash beneath you. You work at the spot until it's pliable, sweeping your thumb over it once more for good measure. You finish up with his back and move to his arms, dancing over the swells of muscle like you'd been a masseuse your entire life.

"God, where did you even learn this? You're better than Pyry."

"YouTube. And that's because it's different when it's someone you love versus your trainer. I can drag it out and let you enjoy it more."

He's completely lost track of time when the alarm on his phone goes off, signaling the end of this current round of torture.

"You know you're coming with me to the pool," Pierre says matter of factly as you climb off him. He stands and rolls his shoulders, bouncing on his toes. "I feel like a brand new man."

You guide his fireproof shirt back over his head after retrieving it from wherever you'd tossed it earlier. You zip his race suit up with a wink that almost makes hims say fuck it and miss the event entirely. "Glad I could be of assistance."

Hand in hand, Pierre leads you through the paddock and falls in with the Alpha team as they head for the swimming pool. Being around his crew again brings the excitement of his win back to the surface and he's practically buzzing with it by the time they arrive at the gate. Journalists, photographers and a few of his fellow drivers mingle about the packed space, some of them clapping him on the back and offering praise. None of it truly registers until Max, usually hot-headed after a DNF like he had suffered today, pulls him in for a hug.

"Great racing, mate. You deserved that one, that's for sure."

"You better play nice with him next year Max." You wag your finger at the Dutchman, earning you a chuckle. "Or I'll have to take matters into my own hands."

"Now that's something I'd pay to see: you versus Christian Horner. A mighty fight."

Not wanting to jinx it, Pierre doesn’t comment on your confidence that he’ll be on Max’s team next year. His win today had seen him move up comfortably into eighth, and he was closing in on Lando quickly. As long as he played his cards right and finished higher up in the points, he was starting to think he could pull it off.

Pierre doesn't note Sylvie's approach until she clears her throat and all three of you turn in tandem. Pierre picks up on the way your demeanor instantly shifts from light and playful to defensive and he puts himself between the two of you.

"Photo op time."

"Right yeah." Pierre squeezes your hand in farewell and follows Sylvie to where a spot has been cleared at the head end. Standing there before the water, Daniel's dramatic belly flop comes to mind and Pierre knows he has to top that celebration or he'll never hear the end of it.

Someone- maybe you, he couldn't quite tell- starts a chant of his name, growing louder and louder until it reaches a fever pitch. His cheeks hurt from smiling so wide and he spreads his arms, his head falling back and eyes sliding shut as he lets the chant wash over him. Letting it sink in that he stood on the top step of the podium at the most legendary track in Formula 1, his name now joining the likes of Senna and Schumacher as Monaco grand prix winners.

He's drunk on it, on the screams and the shouts and the general feeling of being on top of the world and being untouchable.

Head dizzy, he searches for you, shooting you a wink when he spots you crouched right on the edge of the pool. God, you were gorgeous, wearing his hoodie with his logo splashed across the front and your cheeks flushed from the height of the moment.

Pierre takes a few steps back and gets a running start to leap into the pool, tucking his knees to his chest and cannonballing in. The water closes over his head and everything is dull for a split second before he pushes off the bottom and surfaces, cheers assaulting his senses in the best way.

Laughing, he shakes out his hair and poses for a few of the cameras pointed at him. In that moment he doesn't care what Sylvie or Christian or anyone for that matter thinks, all he wants is to share this euphoria with you, for you to be enthralled by it as he is.

The waterlogged suit makes it hard to swim but he manages, crossing to you and pushing off the concrete lip of the pool to capture your lips. Your hands immediately fly to cup his jaw as hoots and hollers surround the two of you as he irrevocably tells the world that you're his.

Alpha crew members take the kiss as their cue to jump in, splashing you with water as you laugh. Pierre doesn't give you a chance to protest, rising up and wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you in with him.

You squeal in his arms, shoving against his chest as you both laugh. "Pierre!" His name on your tongue does nothing to dampen the feel of your waterlogged body against his, nowhere near as chastising as he knew you'd tried to sound. He loves you more than ever at that moment, wants to live here on this Sunday forever, replaying the past twelve hours for the rest of his life.

Celebrations continue around him, but he has eyes only for you. He studies the way your nose scrunches up when Alana splashes you and how droplets of water catch on your eyelashes.

Reaching out, he tucks a wet lock of hair behind your ear, garnering your attention. You ruffle Pierre's hair and he knows that you're just as caught up as he is.

Placing a hand on the back of your neck, he draws you in for another long, drawn out kiss. “You’re my trophy.”

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kaitycole · 3 years

Text

losing what he never had

Summary: Bokuto recounts the worst day of his life that all started with a phone call.

Pairing: Bokuto x fem!reader

Word Count: 2822

Warnings: Angst. Pure fucking angst. Character death. Slight mention of pregnancy loss.

A/N: Thanks to @cosmicmermaid25 for this prompt. She said “make me cry” I hope this lives up to it.

“I was supposed to be there, at home with you, but a match got rescheduled and I had to be in Tokyo. I was supposed to be there, driving with you to your doctor’s appointment because you wanted me with you, but instead I wasn’t and you were all alone.”

* * Present Day

Bokuto isn’t sure what he’s supposed to feel, but he does know that he feels empty and maybe a little lost. That feeling you get when you turn around in circles, first noticing the person you’re with isn’t there anymore. That feeling right before the panic sets in that you’re alone. Or maybe it’s more like when a strong wind blows in your face and you can’t catch breath, the struggle of quickly trying to block the overwhelming emotions that flood you as you try to breathe.

It’s been two months since he got the call, a phone call that shattered his entire world, that brought him down to his knees and nothing in his life has been the same. Like looking through a shattered mirror, hoping to see a complete image.

It had been on the calendar for weeks, the day that Y/N had her doctor’s appointment and she didn’t really like driving to far places alone, so of course being the doting boyfriend, Bokuto offered to drive. He didn’t mind, in fact he rather enjoyed driving and a part of him really enjoyed Y/N depending on him. She didn’t need to, she could hold her own, but he loved to feel needed and was confident that his partner knew that too.

But there was a storm, a match between MSBY and Schweiden Adlers had to be reschedule, but it became an away game and as fate would have it, it was scheduled for the same day as the appointment. Bokuto apologized profusely to his partner, swearing if he could sit out then he would, but she brushed off his worries, saying she understood, it wasn’t a big deal. Sometimes having such an understanding partner could hurt.

* * Two months ago – 7:45 AM

*alarm noises*

Bokuto picks up his phone, clicking end on the alarm, but truth be told, he had been up for a while. It’s weighing down on him that he can’t be there for his girlfriend, knowing she is getting ready to do something that she isn’t comfortable doing to begin with.

“Ko?” Her voice still sounds full of sleep, even though he knows by now she’s already had her morning tea and shower.

“’Morning babe. I just wanted to call before you left.” He steps out of the hotel room, out into the hallway. There’s a deeper meaning weighing his words, worry for her trip, but he’s hoping she doesn’t take it as doubt.

“You have perfect timing.” He hears the door locking in the background, “I was just walking out of the apartment.”

“I wish I could’ve been there to take you. Or that you’d have agreed to let Akaashi go with you.” He knows she can do it, but it doesn’t alleviate any guilt he has knowing that she didn’t really want to go alone.

“You can’t help a scheduling change and I’ll be okay, it’s not too far, ya know?” There’s a bit of hesitation in her voice and it kills Bokuto to know there’s nothing he can do. He tried to get her to reschedule but she said it had taken her a while to just get this one, she didn’t know how long it’d take to get another.

He sits on the ground next to his hotel room’s door, leaning back against the wall. “I know, but I still like feeling needed.” “Ko,” there’s a smile in her tone, “I’ll always need you. I gotta go, good luck at your game!”

“I love you. Be safe.”

“Love too you Ko!”

He stares at his phone, the screen now black and he can’t help but feel this pit in his stomach, like something’s eating at him. He pushes himself off the ground, trying to shake off the feeling, chalking it up to pre-game jitters.

* * 10:30 AM

It’s nearing the end of the first set of the match against the Adler that Bokuto’s focus seems to be withering. Hinata starts trying to pick up the slack on Bo’s end and Atsumu gets pissed off enough to stop setting to him altogether, which helps but the Adlers are quick to use that as a weak spot for MSBY. After the first set, Adlers in the lead, Coach Foster makes the decision to bench Bo.

Bokuto flops down on the bench, accepting a water bottle from the team’s manager. He hates this feeling, especially when he proudly told Akaashi and Atsumu that he wasn’t the moody guy that he was back in high school, and here he was letting whatever this feeling is affect his gameplay.

“Just cool down and clear your head.” Coach Foster says, not taking his eyes off the court.

Bokuto leans forward, his head between his knees as he steadies his breathing, letting go of everything that feels like it’s weighing him down. He knows that she’s fine, she promised him that she would be and he lets the comfort of her voice clear his mind before he makes eye contact with his coach, telling him that he’s ready now.

* * 1:55 PM

She should be home by now, right?

Bokuto looks down at his phone again, her voicemail echoing from the other end. Once Bokuto’s mind was clear, the Black Jackal dominated the court and took the win, but even with the various cheers filling the locker room, Bo found himself feeling miles away from the celebration.

He clicks on her thread once more, the last text having been from a few days ago about dinner, no “got here safely” text from today and that makes his stomach sink. He tries calling again, trying to rationalize that maybe it hadn’t gone through the first time, locker rooms had shaky cell reception, right? But he gets her voicemail once again, glances up at the clock, noting that maybe she was eating lunch or taking a nap, she’d been napping a lot more lately.

“I’m sure she’s fine, Bo!” Hinata says, patting his teammate on the back.

“C’mon, let’s go get something to eat!” Atsumu yells and a few other teammates quickly agree.

Bo lets out a sigh, shaking the thoughts from his head, “yeah, okay.”

* * 2:30 PM

Bokuto walks out of the hotel, most of the team already waiting out front, he doesn’t want to get food, he’d rather head back home, but the team is scheduled for a meet and greet tonight. Meaning chances of him leaving before tomorrow morning are slim. He looks down at his phone, an unknown number is calling, but before he can ignore it, the almost paralyzing feeling that weighed him down on the court grips around him.

“Hello?” His voice is shaking, Hinata and Atsumu walk over to him, both lost in whatever they were talking about to notice the shift in Bokuto’s demeanor.

“I’m calling for a Bokuto-san. Is this them?” “Yeah, I’m Boku—” He can’t finish his sentence, his mind racing with various thoughts, negative thoughts dry his mouth, causing a lump in a throat, like his body already knows what he’s about to hear. Hinata looks between him and Atsumu, clearly concerned for his teammate and friend, while Atsumu leans into the other side of the phone, hoping to overhear.

“You’re listed as an emergency contact for a L/N F/N.” There’s a pause that last about five seconds too long for Bokuto’s worried mind.

He doesn’t really hear anything after that, just snippets of the unfamiliar voice on the other side.

There was an accident…

…emergency surgery.

How soon…

…be here?

Atsumu catches Bokuto’s phone as his hand just lets it go, his mind still racing as the color drains from his face. He turns, running back into the hotel, using the stairs to get to his room because his anxious mind couldn’t take the wait for an elevator. Hinata and Atsumu run after him, but all he can hear is the thumping of his heart in his ears, his vision getting blurry from either tears or shock, he’s not too sure.

He fumbles with the keycard to get into the room, all but slamming it against the sensor before flinging the door open. He’s panicked, looking around the room trying to figure out what he needs right now, what should he take, he was never good at this thing, Y/N is always the one who packs things for him.

By the time Hinata and Atsumu have caught up to him, he’s mumbling to himself, Sakusa stepping out of the room next door to see what all the noise is from.

“I’ll fly. I’ll fly back to Osaka.” Bokuto says, looking for his passport, because in his mind airport equals passport.

“That’d take too long Bokuto.” Sakusa slowly steps into the room, trying to reason with him, “by the time you got a flight you could’ve already been back.”

Bokuto looks back towards the door, towards three of his teammates and the expression on his face could break their hearts. His bottom lip is poked out in a worried pout, his hair drooping down, almost like it’s deflated. None of them know what to do or to say, this is Akaashi’s or Y/N’s territory, not theirs.

“The train, Bo. That’s the fastest to get to her.”

He starts nodding, patting his pockets to make sure he has his wallet and quickly grabs a hoodie, as he starts making his way out of the room, his face void of any expression or emotion.

Keys.

Check.

Wallet.

Check.

Phone.

Check.

He pauses, still panicked, “I don’t have my passport. Where is it? I need it!”

Atsumu wants to grab and push Bokuto out of the room, to yell that he doesn’t need a passport to get on the train, but Hinata rushing into the room, swiping it from the inside pocket that lined his duffle bag. It’s where Y/N had told Bo to keep it so he wouldn’t worry about losing it or walking out of the hotel without it and where he’s kept it ever since.

“Here you go.” Hinata hands it to the wing spiker, noting that Bokuto’s eyes look dead, there’s no light in them like usual. “C’mon, let’s get to the train station.”

* * 6 PM

Bokuto bolts into the hospital, frantically looking around the sterile white building, breathlessly. He walks up to the first person that he sees in a white coat, not really caring how he looks to anyone.

“I…got a call…”

“Patient name?”

He tells the doctor her name, watching the woman’s face drop just slightly before becoming stoic again. “Let’s go somewhere and talk.”

“After I see her…” His words are desperate, like he’s hanging on from the edge, getting ready to fall at any moment. The pain in his eyes clearly evident to the woman as she tries to figure out what to do, how to handle the situation. “Please.”

“We tried….there wasn’t…I’m sorry…”

He shakes his head, as if the motion alone would change what he’s about to hear, what he’s feared since he got the call. His fingers run through his hair, tugging on it slight to ground him because it feels unreal, like he’s watching this unfold from outside his own body.

“…your losses.”

Bokuto’s attention instantly refocuses, eyes lined with tears that are seconds from falling, such a pathetic expression in his eyes. “What?”

“I just assumed you knew.” The doctor shifts awkwardly on her feet, “it seems she was 11 weeks pregnant.”

* * 7:12 PM

“Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s sitting next to the hospital bed where Y/N is, holding her hand, half asleep, the mix of crying and the adrenaline wearing off has drained him. He’s been there practically since he arrived, refusing to leave her, refusing to accept that she’s anything but sleeping.

“Bokuto-san.”

He looks up, eyes red and puffy, his nose stuffy as he breathes through it, turning slightly to see the owner of the voice, never letting go of her hand. Though it doesn’t feel like her hand, it’s cold which isn’t unlike her, she’s always been warm. She brought a warmth to Bokuto’s life and he’s not sure he’s ready to let it go, he’s not sure that he can let go.

Akaashi walks in the room, placing a hand on Bo’s right shoulder, “Bokuto-san, let’s get you home.”

“I can’t…leave her…here.” He starts choking on the sobs that rip through his throat, “she won’t know where she is.”

“I know, but it’s getting late.”

“We can go…after she wakes up, okay? Yeah, yeah,” his voice raises a little bit, like he’s satisfied with the idea he’s come up with, “that way…I can let her…know I’ll be back.”

Akaashi takes a deep breath, he thought he’d seen every side of Bokuto, that he knew all of his weaknesses and strengths, that he was the one of the few people that could ground Bokuto, but he’s out of his element here. How do you tell your best friend the love of his life isn’t going to wake up?

“Boku—” “Aka—Keiji,” He steadies his breath, a small sob cracks his voice, “I know…she’s gone, but once I leave we won’t be a family of three, it’ll just…it’ll just be me.”

Akaashi feels his own tears starting to form, trying to blink them away, he has to be strong for his best friend. He squeezes his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder when he feels him start to tremble, to shake underneath him, cries filling the room. He wants to tell Bokuto that it’s time to leave, that they really need to be going, but how do you take someone away from something that wasn’t theirs yet?

* * Present Day

Bokuto’s never really believed in a higher power, he doesn’t give much thought to horoscopes or pay any attention when people swear they had “feelings” about something, but looking back on that day, something didn’t sit right in his stomach after their call ended. And that’s something that has plagued his thoughts ever since.

If only he had called her back, begged for her to just miss the appointment, maybe…maybe she wouldn’t have…

He shakes his head, tears trailing his cheeks, he knows it won’t do him any good to think that way, but how could he not? Looking back, he knows something was trying to tell him to stop her, but he didn’t, he just let her go and this was the outcome of his choice.

“Sorry I didn’t come for a few days, we had another away game, but Akaashi told me that he came a few times to keep you company.” He wipes the tears, smearing this across his face. “I’ve gotten better at packing my bags now, though Sakusa still brings extra toiletries for me.”

He tilts his head to the side, realizing that sometimes if he stopped thinking, it still felt like she was there, so much of her still part of his daily interactions, bits of her still sprinkled through his decisions.

Laundry’s still done on Wednesdays because she liked doing it in the middle of the week.

Take-out for dinner on Saturdays because that was always their at-home date night.

Passport can still be found in the lining pocket of his duffle bag when he’s traveling.

Her favorite tea brand is still in the cabinets because Bokuto still brews it just so the house smells like her.

“I was picked to play on the Japan National Team in the Olympics this year, Y/N. You always said I could do it.” He fumbles in his pocket, grabbing the small item that’s been weighing down on him. “I never told you, but I had big plans for if I made it to the Olympics.”

Bokuto places a small black velvet box on top of the tombstone, his fingers dragging across the smooth surface, letting his hand fall when it reaches the end. He whispers that he loves her one more time before he heads back to the parking lot, Kuroo was waiting there. Even without her around, he was never alone, not really, one of his friends was always finding an excuse to stay with him which he didn’t mind.

It hurts, hurts to try to figure out a life without her, knowing that if things had been different they’d be getting ready for a baby. Part of him wants to fall apart acknowledging that, knowing that in some alternate universe she’s his wife and mother of his child, that he’s a dad, but he can’t because it feels wrong to mourn over something that was never his to begin with.

#haikyuu!!#hq bokuto #bokuto kotaro #hq bokuto x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto x female reader #bokuto angst #hq angst #no fluff here #pure angst #tw angst #tw character death #tw loss of a loved one #tw grief #tw mourning #tw loss of pregnancy #reader death #tw reader death #bokuto kōtarō x reader

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obeymeluv · 4 years

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Hey ^^ may I please request something? If you won't do it then that's totally fine but could you maybe write about how the demon brothers would react if MC got kidnapped and cannot summon any of them? If you don't have time to do it that's totally fine and remember to take care ^^

Quick rundown on my headcanons for bonding with demons:

When I read this, it made me question whether bonded brothers would instinctively know if their pact mate/bonded person was in trouble? Would they be able to tell if the bonded person was unconscious instead of just...contained? I’d like to think that when demons bond to the point of making pact marks, they can kind of “tap in” or “tune in” to the bonded one to make sure things are okay. When they do, they feel what their pact mate is going through. The longer they stay connected, the more they can share.

For example: a 5 minute connection can allow the bonded pair to say a few things mentally, and would allow the demon to fully tap into their bonded one’s emotions. The telepathic capabilities only work when the two are in eye-sight; the connection grows stronger as the demon moves towards the pact mate.

Basic and superficial wounds can be felt at this point. Pulse rates sync up at about three minutes. If the pact mate is unconscious, the demons can try to push their consciousness into being awake or opening their eyes to try and see through them to figure out where they are (before the conscious mind kicks in, about 5-10 seconds). This connection will also allow them to connect to other senses but the demons will be overloaded and experience them all at once. If their human is conscious and they tap into their senses again, they can filter out senses or enhance certain ones for a short amount of time.

Being connected 10 minutes or longer allows for deeper or graver injuries to be felt, and might help with reflexes. Humans may also take on key attributes of a demon, like sharper teeth or claw-like nails. Subtle changes like being slightly more charming (if pulling from Asmo) or stronger (if pulling from Beel) would start to occur. Using this too much may cause mental or physical pains.

The effects of being connected for thirty minutes or longer are largely undocumented (despite Devildom society being 5,000+ years old) but are assumed to be dangerous for the human (pass out from mental exhaustion, borrowed magic fatigue, numbness or trouble moving limbs if reflexes are enhanced, etc.) Humans like Solomon, who are magically inclined or gifted, will not be harmed or taxed as much as a non-magical human. Connected demons hardly have any drawbacks, save for being sore depending on the extent of their bond mate’s injury if they connect to the point of being able to feel them.

I added all of that because my brain had to know how the bros would find MC. Plus, I’m stuck in chapter 20/21 and think there needs to be more lore about pact bonds/capabilities.

I couldn’t figure out how to squeeze this in anywhere above, but if the demon wants to locate a missing pact mate, they will have an internal compass of sorts. It’s a really strong compulsion to go a certain direction no matter who or what is in front of them. Their bonded one will be at the end of that feeling, and it will intensify the closer they get to each other.

Now, how they’d react:

Lucifer

He’s super pissed, obviously. You’re in trouble and he can’t just teleport to you?! What the hell did you get yourself into?!

Also worried. Did you piss off some figure (witch, etc.) that has magic capabilities or is this just a situation where you, as a human, do not feel safe to summon them?

Lucifer has been alive for 5,000+ years and is one of the strongest in the Devildom. He will use the above-mentioned brain push to get you to open your eyes and look around. He needs an idea of where you’re at (he’ll apologize about your migraines later)

I headcanon that he’s good with directions and has a strong memory, so he’d probably be able to recognize your surroundings and find you personally

When he sets out to find you, he’s a one man army. A one-man wrecking crew of death.

Considers that your captors may be magic-proficient or have some sort of anti-demon items (why else would they be stupid enough to take you?) so he packs an old fashioned, heavy-ass sword or dagger in case hand-to-hand fighting isn’t an option.

Those gloves come off, and he rarely takes his gloves off. Lucifer will make sure your captors suffer a long, slow, painful death that illustrates why he’s a demon and why they should be afraid of him

He fought bare-handed. The dagger/sword wasn’t necessary.

Mammon

WHO JUST TOOK HIS HUMAN? WHY? GET FUCKIN’ READY, BUDDY!

Stuck in an angry panic spin of ‘HUMAN IS MISSING? WHAT DO I DO? HOW DO I FIND HUMAN? GOD DAMMIT!’ until his brain kicks in

Doesn’t think to use the brain push thing. His first thought is: people will sell information

Mammon is the Avatar of Greed--he knows what people want and he knows how to manipulate them. He’s actually pretty slick in a ‘watch this hand, not this one’ kind of way

Also caught in the feels and will not hesitate to beat somebody up for that information.

If he feels asking around will waste time, he’ll teleport to one of his witch acquaintances and have them find you. It may cost him another favor, but it’s worth it. SOMETHING is keeping you from summoning him, so he has to find a way around it.

You’ll hear Mammon coming before you see him. He’ll be complaining the whole way--(”Making me come all the way out here to save you! What were you thinking?!”) but he’ll be kicking ass without breaking eye contact

Being the second-oldest of seven, he grew up fighting several brothers at once and learned how to wrestle in different ways. His reflexes are pretty on point. It’s a very efficient fighting style--hard hits or distance throws that give him time to pick multiple captors off individually

Unapologetic and threatening. Lots of demon noises

He’s pretty quiet and burnt out by the time he finds you. More of a relieved exhaustion than anything. Baby boy missed you and just wants to hold you.

A little paranoid for the next two weeks. You’re basically on lock down with your main man until he feels better about everything.

Levi

THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME IN ANIME AND MANGA AND IT DOES NOT END WELL!

Spends a solid 5-10 minutes hyperventilating BECAUSE SO MUCH COULD HAPPEN!

Has something already happened to you? What have they done?! Will he get a ransom note? A spooky encrypted video email?

WHAT WOULD HENRY DO?

That ‘admiral of Hell’s Navy’ personality kicks in and after a mild panic, he’s all business. He WILL figure out a way to find you

He’d use that “compass” connection I described. It goes well with his one-track mind/hyperfocus he tends to get.

This is one big ass-whoopin’ quest in the making and he’s fixing to get that achievement trophy

Levi’s more of a strategist than a tank. He’s basically banking on his demon form to help rip your captors to shred.

Were you held hostage by a decent-sized body of water that connects or is fed into by other bodies of water? He’ll be coming at your captors like a Sharpedo. You’re in the splash zone.

Has a very merciless and interesting fight style. It’s kind of cheating in that Levi’s biggest tactic is ‘don’t give anyone else room to fight’, but it works.

Be prepared to see his tail used in interesting ways. Boy has a built-in long-range weapon.

Whether it’s one person or a whole group of people, he may summon Lotan just because they pissed him off. You’ll be safe, of course.

Satan

Boy is big angry

YOU WERE STOLEN? HE CAN’T JUST GO TO YOU?

Satan just wants a nice, quiet, simple life with things that don’t make him angry. This makes him angry. There will be death.

Is very suspicious by nature, and an over-thinker, so he’s probably considered this would happen at one point. Actually already had a plan.

Would use a combination of the “compass” intuition and the brain push to see what you see. Instead of having you look at your surroundings, though, he wants you to look at people.

Does he recognize any of those fuckers? Who’s on his hit-list?

If there’s no immediate sense of a threat, he’s interrogating Asmo. Between the two of them, they WILL find the person/people who took you

There’s probably at least one book in his connection that works like the mirror from Beauty in the Beast where he just has to ask it about you and it will tell him.

When Satan comes in to rescue you, it’s all demon noises. He comes in terrifying and strong and leading with magic.

Probably smells like fire and blood. Is covered in the latter and basically none of it’s his.

Big fan of using his tail like a mace.

They get the horns (literally)

Asmo

Someone stole his precious darling?! Um, no. Not okay. THE FARTHEST THING FROM OKAY, ACTUALLY!

I feel like we don’t have a lot of character depth for Asmo. I’m hoping once I get un-stuck I’ll be pleasantly surprised with Asmo content. I can’t decide if he’d panic a bit or just go into straight, hardcore bitch mode.

The definition of “looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you”. Big dick energy. Big bitch energy.

I feel like Asmo wouldn’t be super organized because this isn’t usually a kind of stressor he deals with. What he lacks in tactical thought, he makes up for in connections

Boy would probably find you fastest out of all the bros because he can make a few posts across Devilgram, get some celebrities to do the same, and SOMEONE would find you.

Would stay mentally connected with you for as long as your body could handle it, and would be very soothing. A panicked kind of soothing, like pouring his heart out to you and just gushing, but soothing

Like “Baby, I love you so much! I’ll find you soon, I promise! We can even beat these assholes together!” ❤︎

Usually hates getting his hair or nails dirty, but he might just break off a nail in someone’s eye. Or, you know, come find you in a nice-ass pair of heels just to shove one down someone’s throat (or up someone’s ass).

He may look dainty and gorgeous but DO NOT be fooled. This boy has SATAN for an older brother and BEEL for a younger brother. He knows how to throw down.

In general, he’s just a vicious little shit. Asmo knows how to fuck people up physically. He just doesn’t like doing it.

Depending on how many captors you have, Asmo will charm them into killing each other and just watch. It’s not the most satisfying thing, but there is SOME satisfaction to it

Couple snuggles and major pampering after you’re back with him (and you’ve been checked out by medical staff). Lots of kisses.

He cries and it’s very quiet and heart-felt.

Beel

The worst thing to happen in the history of ever. Literally.

In Beel’s world there are two things YOU DO NOT DO: 1) eat his food, 2) fuck with his family

It’s hard for him to think rationally because he’s just so stressed/angry that he’s stumbling around in his demon form and he’s ruining everything.

His full strength is on display and he’s leaving cracks in walls, scratching up things--just general, accidental destruction. He’s breaking things on accident and trying to write out plans on paper that rips up and it’s starting to wear on him to the point of being genuinely destructive

Beel feels first and thinks second, which makes this a lot harder

Uses the “compass” thing. Becomes demon juggernaut.

Likes to fly and divebomb where possible, so someone’s getting knocked THE FUCK out

When he sees you, or gets to the end of that “compass” feeling, Beel’s football training kicks in and he just demolishes anyone that’s in his way.

People just get tossed around like rag dolls. He doesn’t check to make sure they’re down and out, just clears the way.

The type to try and hold you or touch you first. Then, if anyone’s still standing, he makes sure they get put down before going back to you.

Carries you all the way back, his wings buzzing and singing happily because you’re safe and everything’s okay

Once you’re back in the House of Lamentation his stomach goes off loudly. You guys have a big feast to celebrate.

Belphie

The list of things Belphie likes in this world: 1) Sleep, 2) Beel, 3) You. Do not mess with the things Belphie likes.

Is most pissed that one of his favorite people in the whole damn world have gone missing and can’t summon him. Is side-pissed that he’s losing so much sleep to come find you. It’s not your fault, but still

Someone will die, and only Belphie will have fun

Is sleepy enough that he doesn’t panic and awake enough to think

I headcanon that Belphie in particular has a special kind of brain push due to being the Avatar of Sloth and making people sleepy. When he pushes your brain, he can also pick through what’s at the forefront of your mind or your most recent conscious moments. It’s like being able to link up to dreams, just not limited to dreams.

Periodically uses the telepathic link as a radar of sorts Uses it in conjunction with the “compass” instinct to make sure he’s going in the right direction. Using the telepathic link once he’s in the general area just helps him find you faster

Belphegor, like Satan, has a lot of reserved anger. It will be well-used.

I bet his tail works like a real whip. It’d be demeaning as hell to get hit with it and Belphie wants to see your captor suffer. The tail will be used

Imagine the last thing you see or feel is getting hit by a demon cow tail. He’d definitely do that.

No holds bar when it comes to fighting. Your captor(s) signed their death wish when they took you.

Mostly fatal bites and deep scratches. Probably some limb tearing or pulling things out that should be kept inside the body. May definitely get a few nut shots with the tail if you have any male captors (you know, just because).

He doesn’t show up as bloody as Satan would, but there’s definitely blood on his face and under his fingernails.

Carries you out of wherever you’d been held. Gives you firm instructions not to look at anything. Just kind of gently pressed you into his chest before readjusting you and carrying out.

I hope you liked it :D

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deans-baby-momma · 3 years

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Truth or Dare-Part 5/20

Summary: The Winchester sibling trio has been through so much in the last decade. From the night of their parents’ 30th wedding anniversary party where Sam and Dean eased Y/N from her innocence to Sam becoming a happily married lawyer with a kickass nurse of wife to the three of them now living in the same town they grew up in under the same roof where each of them came of age. Y/N is a working mother of three, her days spent helping the townsfolk make proper and suitable financial decisions while bustling about escorting her two oldest to school and her youngest, Mary Ellen, to daycare; Dean’s garage is the premiere body shop for classic restorations and car maintenance; people from other state’s bring their vehicles to them to be repaired. Business at Winchester Wheels is booming; Sam is the legal council for Winchester Wheels and has been since he moved back home almost 5 years ago. He has his work cut out for him dealing with the people Dean pisses off and threatens to sue the garage on at least a monthly basis.

After one lust-filled night, the siblings become more than family. They become lovers. The three of them, together and separately.

One big loving family.

So when Y/N’s boss calls for her to take a much needed vacation, the six of them hit the road. What will happen? Will it bring them closer together or break them apart?

W/C: 1243

Warnings: fluff

After the shenanigans at the cafe and RJ’s insistent revelation, the six Winchesters loaded into the rental vehicle and got back on the road.

“Where to first?” Sam asks, looking at a map on his phone.

“First stop, Dodge City!” Dean exclaims happily but frowns when he is met with groans. “What?”

“Dude, that is like your fantasy sabbatical,” Sam says, looking over his shoulder at Y/N to see her nodding in agreement. “You love everything to do with the Wild West. Me and Y/N, not so much. The kids are going to be so bored!”

Dean huffs and sighs. “Well just so you know, they have a zoo and a water park that I had planned to take everyone to. Do you want to just cross that off the list?”

Y/N could tell Dean had gotten his feelings hurt at their disregard for his agenda. She scooted forward in her seat and put her arms around his seat and onto his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I’m sure we’ll enjoy Dodge City.”

“Don’t knock it until you try it,” Dean responds and bends his head to kiss her hand. “We’re going to get there just in time for the 5:00 mock showdown between Wild Bill and Davis Tutt. You know Wild Bill got lucky Tutt was such a bad shot. It took ol’ Bill a few seconds longer to steady his gun. Worked out though, because he shot his opponent right in the heart!”

Y/N could tell from the tone of his voice and the slight change of pitch that Dean was excited to be able to witness such a remarkable, albeit remade, event in history. She felt bad about their initial reaction.

“Oh my god! Did you see that?” Dean remarks as they walk away from the stage of the mock gun battle. “Bill was the fastest draw in the land.” Dean pretends to pull a gun from a holster on his side and makes a pistol with his finger and thumbs, “shooting” left and right; mimicking the sound of shots by blowing air out of his puckered lips.

Y/N shakes her head as she carries a sleepy Mary Ellen on her lap as RJ holds his uncle’s hand and Izabella holds her father’s non-gun one. As they walk down the street of the city decorated to look like an Old West town, they each take in the sights from the displays of the attire of times gone by.

She can not imagine having to wear such drab and concealing garb that the women wore back then. Added to the fact that they were usually also squeezed into a corset that was two sizes too small and Y/N wonders how they ever got anything done, much less felt like populating the world.

She looks at one of the pictures that is hanging on the wall. The Vandall Family were photographed in front of what Y/N assumed was their homestead. The husband and wife and their 13 kids were all lined up from tallest to shortest. The woman was also holding an infant in her arms so that made 14 times she had taken off all those layers and laid with her husband to get pregnant. Unfathomable to Y/N!

Back at the hotel they had gotten rooms at, she places Mary Ellen in the provided crib and closes the door to the adjoining room. Izabella and RJ are in the adults’ room with Sam and Dean watching cartoons so Y/N decides to take a shower while the baby naps.

As she is rinsing her hair, she hears the door open and feels a presence enter the room. She waits and just a few seconds later, Dean’s head pops around the curtain.

“What a lovely view,” he says as he eyes her up and down. “So sexy,” he continues with a smirk on his face. “And all mine.”

“Uh huh. What do you want?” Y/N asks, trying to act nonchalant, that the fact that Dean is ogling her naked form is not turning her on. But sure enough she feels the first of the tingles in her pussy as he licks his lips.

“Sammy said he would watch the kids so we can go out,” Dean tells her, his eyes still trailing up and down her body. “So Y/N, wanna go on a date with me?”

Y/N stops what she’s doing and looks at her brother. An actual date? One where they can be the couple they want to be; hold hands and kiss? A date where they don’t have to worry about who sees them together?! The thought of that alone gets her blood pumping and her heart beat rushing.

“Yea,” she answers delighted and anxious.

“Okay. Well, dress up little lady because I am taking you out on the town!” Dean imitates a cowboy as his smile stretches across his face. He winks and blows her a kiss before disappearing. She hears the bathroom door click shut and she waits until she is sure Dean is back in the other room before she squeals.

Their first date. The first time they can go out and be a couple. She hurriedly finishes washing before turning the water off and stepping out of the tub, wrapping the fluffy hotel towel around her.

She’s going on a date, her first official date. Ever!

Knowing this is a special occasion, even if it is just for her, Y/N takes the extra time to style her hair the way she wants it and picks out the best blouse she had packed, pairing it with a pair of black trousers and her slip on booties.

She even puts on makeup, using the barely-ever-used eyeshadow palette to create a smoky eye effect. She tops that off with a thin layer of mascara and some blush on her cheeks. Looking in the mirror, the reflection shown back to her is of a full-grown woman and not the half-grown kid she was so used to seeing when she looked at herself.

Looking at her reflection, she now knows how she attracted both Dean and Sam because even she will admit with the way her clothes fit and her hair and makeup on point, she was beautiful and sexy.

She briefly wonders what Dean’s reaction will be and doesn’t have to wait long to find out. The sound of the key in the door draws her attention and she looks over as Dean walks in. He is dressed up also.

He is wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, with no holes or snags in them, a cinnamon colored henley under a multi-colored flannel, the colors distressed and faded. The jeans were tight around his thick thighs and groin, leaving little to the imagination. Y/N could melt into the floor right there.

“Hot damn,” Dean exclaims as he takes Y/N in. “I am one helluva lucky son of a bitch. You are gorgeous, baby girl.”

“Thanks, handsome. You look mighty fine yourself.”

“Ready to paint this town?”

“As I’ll ever be,” she answers with a smile.

Dean places his palm on the bottom of her back as they walk down the street heading to, what Y/N is sure, some cafe that serves lukewarm coffee, cold pie and has dirty ashtrays on each table.

Imagine her surprise when Dean directs her to the exact opposite of her assumption.

A/N: If your username is marked through, it’s because Tumblr wouldn’t allow me to tag you. Sorry.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @spnbaby-67 @tftumblin @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @death-unbecomes-you @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @deanwanddamons @onethirstyunicorn @supraveng @deandreamernp

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youarejesting · 4 years

Text

Temptation KTH X Reader

[Masterlist] Pairing: CamBoy!Taehyung x CamGirl!Reader Beta: N/A Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff, NSFW, Smut Rating: 18+ Words: 3.7k Request: @pars-ley

Summary: You sign up for the world’s newest and sexiest Late-night Television program called ‘Temptation’. Where you are competing with nine other Cam workers to win One Million dollars. The catch? You can’t cum?

Warnings: Oral f & m recieving, Doms & Subs, Orgasm denial, Penetrative sex, Handjobs, Fingering, Vouyerism, Exhibitionism, Bratty, Daddy Kink, Impregnation Kink, Auralism (sexy sounds moans etc...), Orgy, Dirty talk, Group sessions.

You were a cam girl, but you had been recruited with the best of the best to participate in an elimination game show. Basically, you were not allowed to come, which didn’t include private masturbation unless you were with a housemate in the previous half-hour. The winner would win one million dollars.

There were a few catches, you were each given a phone that would give you commands on things you had to do with other contestants. You had permission to do anything to anyone if the phone told you so. So if you were told to give a blow job you could, but the male was not allowed to finish. Equally so if you were told one of the males could eat you out, you weren’t allowed to finish.

With a sigh, you sat in front of the camera and began talking about the first day while rewatching the footage. You were told to react as if it was happening and relay the thought you had in the moment. “right here I thought ‘oh it is going to be easy’,” I signed up to Temptation and I am going to win. I have to win, I am planning on paying out my family's mortgage and perhaps buying myself a home something permanent.”

You took a moment to pause and thought “it wasn’t the easiest growing up poor, I have a good job now and a good apartment but I don’t spend money on myself until my family are in a better position”

You met the other contestants and you could pick out which ones would go first, the ones who had no resolve. There were four doms and you knew you could get them in seconds. Everyone was dressed normally and you each took the time to greet one another.

This would be the easiest money you ever made. Everyone introduced themselves and their highlight cam videos appeared on the screen and you paled. Suga, RM, J-Hope, Honey, Jimin, lovelymi, Jungkook, EatJin. Names you hoped would “Hello, my name is V, I have been in the cam industry for about seven years, I do partner and solo videos, I am a switch.” His voice was so deep and it stirred something in you.

His videos started playing and he was grunting and fucking a girl. Him talking dirty while he used his hand, he was big and looked honestly amazing. He was holding a girl’s hair as he bucked into her mouth. All while looking and sounding so freaking sexy

“This be harder than I thought” you laughed “he is handsome and his voice is truly amazing, from a purely sexual point of view he is attractive”

“But what will his personality be like? That's the question. Things can make you excited but if he opens his mouth and is a jerk well that excitement plummets.

“Hey guys, My cam name is Baby, I have been in the cam business for a long time I can’t even remember, I am a submissive, I have done partnered and solo cam video” Your videos began playing, you were thankful for the quality of your videos and editing things looked desirable and left you wanting more. You acting like a brat and being punished. You acting submissive calling your cam partner Daddy.

This last one had the dom’s in the room squirming and you knew you had some power over them.

“I joined the cam industry because I was interested, I got to have pleasure in the privacy of my own house and get paid. I use a fake name and I entertain clients with videos. I choose what I do in the video if I don’t like it. I'm sorry, I choose who can watch me. If someone is acting rude or threatening I can kick them out the website and my setup at home is protected so common creeps cannot find me. The people I film with are people I trust and also work in the business”

You shrugged raising your hands up “I mean what can I say it all sounds like a great deal, orgasms and money what else do you want”

You smiled and the Host spoke over the PA, “Please check out your new rooms and your attire which has been carefully selected in your size. Relax and freshen up dinner will be served shortly.”

You stood up and looked innocently at the doms. “What should I wear for dinner mummy and Daddies?”

The four doms Suga, Jhope, Honey, and Jin looked at you with firm eyes. “Would you like me to dress you, baby?” Honey asked

“Wear something pretty?” Jin said his voice firm as he walked off, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his dress shirt as he walked down the hall.

“Wear something to impress daddy?” Jhope grinned and you went off to your room, looking through the cupboards and you thought the others would go for blatantly sexy but you actually snuck into Jin’s room while he was in the shower and stole his dress shirt and left, you made sure to wear a pretty set of white lace underwear but you didn’t put on shoes and you let your hair down and put on natural-looking makeup.

The shirt dwarfed you and you didn’t do up all the buttons at the top or bottom. Everyone walked out to dinner and you grinned. All the guys were either just in pants or in suits except Jimin and Jungkook who were in harness’. LovelyMi was wearing lingerie, big heels, and full hair and makeup. Honey wore leather and big shoes stepping out. You yawned pretending you woke up your hands unseen in the big sleeves.

“Is that my shirt?” Jin asked

“Daddy's shirt smelled so good?” Jin stirred, you bit back a smile and everyone started eating dinner and you reached for something and V made a small groan as the shirt fell open revealing your breast. You sat back down and grinned when Suga’s phone chimed.

“One of your well-known skills is Tongue technology, pick one girl and eat her out.” He said with a laugh.

“Suga, genius. The only two things you need to know” he shrugged looking at the floor. “Enough said”

He walked down the table and pushed your chair back. You looked up at him innocently. “Daddy is going to eat this pussy, is that okay my sweet baby?” Suga caressed your cheek, you did like praise.

“I want a different daddy” You huffed pulling off your underwear and throwing them at Jin. Suga pressed his tongue to his cheek, looking visibly pissed that you were questioning his authority knowing you were playing as the rules stated if you didn’t want to participate you would use the safe word.

“Spread your legs, brat” this was a command and your legs fell apart. He placed them on the arms of the dinner chair and V looked down swallowing hard trying not to look but you commanded his attention.

“What a pretty little pussy, for such a bratty girl” Suga smirked, wasting no time, you picked up your drink and drank it slowly thinking about the dinner. After the initial surprise, you knew you would be fine he wouldn’t get you to finish but he was so close.

Another phone went off and Jimin read aloud his instructions to give RM a blow job. You continued eating dinner zoning out completely you were pretty skilled at keeping yourself from cumming. What surprised you was when Jimin came it was the first night, but the boy had an oral fixation and that coupled with an audience and the moans around the room, he came while deepthroating RM.

You were sad to see him leave but you were thankful the orders for the night were complete.

“Suga has tongue technology all right but, there is one sure-fire way to put me on edge and that is with a deep voice. I cannot stand V’s voice it is way too sexy”

It had been a long first week, you had been drawn to the edge by Honey and had given a blow job to Jhope who held himself together with swears and shaky breath. You were all sitting in the pool at the end of the week and LovelyMi was eliminated. The fans had voted her out.

The next week saw Jungkook eliminated. Honey had him tied up and he couldn’t hold back. There was no voting elimination but there was a challenge. You had to answer sex facts to earn points. Some of the questions were how many times can a woman orgasm. You won and the hosts Adora and Pdogg asked how many times you had successfully finished.

“Eleven,” You said, “I could have kept going but I took a break and ended up falling asleep.”

“I am impressed?” RM grinned, he had got the next answer right and the two of you got to draw from the hat some cards.

“Hell yeah, I got a free finish card” You grinned

“I got an extended order time card” RM laughed and you both high fived and headed back to continue playing the game.

After a few games such as the fastest to dress in their role-play costume, you all picked what door you wanted and you laughed when you were dressed as a businessman, you laughed at the array of costumes but V was the winner having won wearing a nurses dress. Another game was won by Jin and it was called ‘whose lips are these?’ You each took turns being blindfolded and you were kissed by the others.

For you, Jin’s lips were the easiest to identify, followed by Honey’s and you just knew when a large hand took your waist and your heart sparked that it was V. Three out of six wasn’t too bad.

“They always guessed when it was me, do I kiss a certain way or weirdly?” You touched your lips confused and mumbled in an afterthought “I thought I kissed really well.”

You stepped up to V your heart racing nervously and you slipped your hand into his hair pulling his hair firmly and he groaned making you lick your lips. You kissed him and he kissed back his tongue entering your mouth and you pulled away watching him sigh in relief.

“I got every one of them wrong except her, there was something about how soft her lips were, and the way she tasted like strawberries it was kind of delicious.” V spoke his cheeks red “I want to kiss her again”

Jhope won a game of sex bingo where you had to mark off what you had done but the catch was there as like a hundred different things. Where you looked through your cam videos and marked off what was in each of them. Honey and Suga didn’t have a single card. V had a free from elimination card and Jin had a kink assisted order. Jhope won a group order card.

“Some would say, I am well versed in sex, and they would be right!” JHope laughed, clapping his hands. “I enjoy trying new things and well I have preferences but I can at least say I have tried it”

That week was fun, you had filed away the free finish card for when you needed it and hoped like hell you wouldn’t need it. RM used the time extend card for his order to fuck Honey but accidentally eliminated himself and Honey simultaneously.

Eliminations came along and Suga was the next to be voted out. There were four of you left. You and three males, this was going to become quite difficult. You were sitting on the couch watching movies with Jin when you got an order.

“Give a blow job to the nearest contestant” You smirked and sank to the floor unzipping Jin’s pants and you hit accept on the phone and got to work you had a time limit and you weren’t going to lose one million dollars because of a six-minute timer.

You used everything called him Daddy made all the right sounds and gave him all the right looks but he didn’t come. The timer rang and he grinned tucking himself away and you rested your head on his thigh. “Please daddy.”

“She is dangerous, I almost didn’t want to stop but I am here for the money, she isn’t playing around” Jin sighed “I can still hear her saying those words in my head and I want more than anything to continue our session.”

You noticed V in the kitchen with a piece of orange in his mouth, eyes wide he had seen everything and you blushed.

“That was the hottest thing I had ever seen, she really wanted to win and I am just thankful that it wasn’t an order for me” He shivered running his hand over his jaw. “I wouldn’t have made it, and I don’t know if I would try”

He looked at his hands ringing them out before looking up “She is my opponent and I will do my best to win against her!”

Jin had used a kink assisted and you were given headphones filled with V’s moans while Honey had given him a handjob last week.

“She either really likes V or she likes deep moans that is good to know?” He snickered “I think she is in love with V the two are smitten”

You bit your lip and turned to the camera’s “Oh this is playing dirty.” You hissed Jin was skilled with his fingers, he apparently played guitar and some piano but no matter how much he rubbed your G spot and clit at the same time. You weren’t going to come, even if V sounded sinful in your ears.

“There is nothing I want more than to win, but I almost didn’t think I was going to make it. Have you heard him, growling and moaning” You blushed burying your face in your hands “He is the only one who can make me lose this game”

You looked up and leaned back on the couch throwing one leg over the other. “So now we are all preparing for war”

Amongst all the sex, you and V grew close, the two of you Swam in the pool and played games, when you weren’t talking you were having deep conversations and at one point you even stayed up late chatting until he leaned in pressing his lips to yours. You couldn’t help but kiss him back with similar vigor.

“Baby” Jhope called and showed you the screen of his phone reading out loud. “Jhope ten minutes with Baby everything except penetrative sex”

“Okay?” You nodded

“And I am calling the group card” he grinned

You were surrounded by all three men and they quickly discussed what they should do. JHope grinned, telling Jin to return the favor for the earlier blow job and V looked disappointed.

“I know why he chose me, I am called EatJin for a reason.” Jin explained seriously “these lips can devour women… and a good steak”

“Was I disappointed that JHope asked Jin-hyung to eat her out?” V scoffed a few times “me? never”

He got up out of his chair as he took his microphone off and walked away with a dark tone “What would ever give you that impression”

The next elimination saw JHope leave. And it was you and the two handsome young men, you understood why they weren’t voted out.

You had an amazing evening watching V give a rather enthusiastic Blow Job to Jin who came with a loud cry.

Now it was just you and V.

“Am I scared?” You laughed at the question, touching your mouth in thought. “Why because it’s just the two of us now”

“It’s her who should be scared?” V looked proud as he held an intense gaze.

“I do this for a living, why would I be scared?”

You tried to bluff unsuccessfully “I’m bloody terrified, Have you seen him he is handsome as hell and I know he will be the end of me”

“My biggest fear is not being able to stop. She is magnificent, we have gotten to know each other so much over the four weeks and she is cheeky and charming and sweet and I truly believe I love her.”

He licked his lips “it started out that I thought she was my type but it became that she was my everything”

When you woke its first day with just the two of you and he smiled over breakfast. “The house feels lonely without everyone doesn’t it?”

“The house feels too big and too cold” you mumbled.

You spent the week together which would be fast-forwarded on the week's episode.

“Today is the last day the challenge is going to be extreme,” he said, “you think you're ready for it?”

“Yeah, I think I am ready, what about you?”

“I think I am more nervous I wish we were on even grounds your free finish card has me worried”

“What I am about to do is either incredibly stupid or incredibly stupid” you buried your face in your hands.

“I would like to use my free finish card” you pulled the card out from the back of your phone. “You better be worth it?”

V’s mouth fell open in shock and you looked at him feeling a little mischievous.

“She is going to give up her free finish now so we fight an even and fair match tomorrow.” He said biting his lip “I love her, and I am not going to waste this moment I am going to rock her world”

You followed him to his bedroom. He held your hand the entire way and you grinned as he pressed you to the door. Kissing you hard and moaning into your mouth. He slipped his hand up your little skirt and plunged his fingers down the front of your underwear.

He didn’t let up and he was kissing and sucking at your neck before he moved you to the bed and buried himself between your legs he moaned the whole time and he was torturing you.

His tongue working magic on your clit and his long fingers curling up inside you. It wasn’t long before your legs began to tremble and you gripped the sheets as all the sexual tension that had been building up finally released causing your back to arch off the bed.

You shivered watching him lean back onto his heels and lick his fingers and palm with a soft moan. “You are delicious”

“I have made a mistake” you whispered quietly.

It was the big day you were both dressed immaculately and this was the moment of truth Adora and Pdogg watched from the sidelines beside the three judges.

“Now the rules are simple the first to cum loses the winner gets a million dollars”

“It is kind of weird knowing the finale is just the two of us having sex until someone finishes but hey who am I to judge. I am one of the people doing it”

You both went to the bed, there were cameras everywhere including inside you, that was a fun appointment. Even though it was a tiny little silicone camera on a fine cord, they were able to move the camera around by a remote so it was always in the correct position you would admit it was nerve-racking to have it inside you. V looked at you sitting on the bed with a nervous grin and you both hugged whispering under your breath.

“Are you as nervous as I am?” You whispered

“Yeah, I didn’t expect I would be having sex on late-night television”

“Yeah I agree”

“Do you think that after this, we could watch a movie or get something to eat?”

“I would love too” you breathed

Everything began and you were underneath V and he was working hard and a timer went off every ten minutes to switch positions so that you each got different stimulation and such.

You almost lost it while he fucked you from behind, you were clenching around him tightly trying to make him finish. He was grunting and growling.

Your mind was spinning and you whispered to yourself don’t come hoping you could convince yourself to hang in a little longer.

You switched positions sinking onto him and straddling his waist his hands held your hips and he bucked up into you.

“Let’s give our two contestants their first hints,” Pdogg grinned, the two hosts taking envelopes.

“V has an impregnation kink” Adora read the card aloud

“Oh yeah, daddy? you want to fill me up, you placed his hands on your lower abdomen and pressed back on him so he could feel himself through your stomach. “You want me all nice and full, huh?”

He groaned loudly and you clenched around him biting your lip. “Baby has a sound kink her preference is deep voices but she enjoys moans growls and pants. She has sensitive ears.”

V sat up putting his mouth to your ear and began, talking to you making obscene sounds in your ears and he flipped you over after hearing the belly and grabbed your hips thrusting hard.

His speed was dangerous for both of you, “Come on” he growled and you felt everything crash over you, your body practically convulsing from the power that had built up.

He came after you and it was warm. The footage from inside of you was very explicit watching him finish inside of you. You laughed, slapping his arm, you fought dirty.

“I gave up on trying to hold back if I didn’t give one hundred percent neither of us would finish. I had to get dangerously close in order to push her over the edge” He pumped his hands in the air.

“But I did it!” He cheered. “I won!”

“And there you have it V is the winner of the sexiest game of the year Temptation.” Adora cheered.

“Think you have what it takes to go online to our page to see behind the scenes footage as well as applications for next years big game”

“V, tell us what you are planning to do with one million dollars”

“First of all I am going to split it with Baby, and maybe take her on a date”

If you enjoyed this story don’t forget to Like | Share so others can enjoy it too. PLease see my [Masterlist] for more of my work.

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redstarwriting · 4 years

Text

Period Pain (2nd Edition)

Avengers x Reader(s)

Request: “This is a specific request but could I have a story where the reader has their period (A bad one, heavy and painful) and the Avengers (Anyones you want) take care of them. Please make it extra fluffy.”

Word Count: 2,759

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: swearing, period, mention of Ibuprofen

A/N: The first one of these did Really Well so I decided to write for the rest of the people I didn’t write about. I still have to do the Guardians, Loki, Valkyrie, and Carol, so keep your eyes out for those ones, too! I hope you enjoy this one!

───────────────────────────────────

Mother Nature must really hate you. You can’t move, your cramps are restricting you from functioning like a normal human being. The only time you got up today was to go to the bathroom to make sure you didn’t ruin your clothes and the sheets. You’ve been curled up in a ball for the past many hours, and even snapped at your significant other earlier. You feel bad deep down inside, but the pain you’re feeling overrides your remorse right now. You’re in the middle of your self loathing and hating being a female when in walks…

…Rhodey.

He walks slowly and quietly, making his way over to your bathroom. “Why the fuck are you walking like I’m a feral animal that will literally leap up and maul you to death if you make a sudden movement you fucking weird ass?” you say, louder than intended. He freezes, looking at you. “Did you not hear what you just said? How you just said it?”

“I did. Your point?”

“I just proved my-”

“What are you doing, James?” you look at him, your expression completely unamused. He’s actually quite scared and begins rethinking the idea he had. But he clears his throat and straightens his back. “I was just going to run you a bath so you can relax a little. I heard heat helps with the… girl pains?” You stare at him, raising your eyebrows. “They’re called cramps,” you say, and he smiles apologetically. “I heard heat helps with the cramps,” he repeats, and to his surprise, you smile. “You’re the sweetest, you know that?” He gapes at you, amazed at how your mood went from bloodthirsty to loving that quickly. “I try my hardest?” he replies, obviously very confused. “Let me know when everything’s ready, okay?” You sound very excited and happy and he smiles at you, “Of course.”

…Pietro.

Well, it’s more like you see a flash of blue, then have a weighted blanket covering you, then nothing. About two minutes pass before you see the flash again, and a heating pad is next to you on your bed. Then after another two minutes, some chocolate and your favorite food gets plopped down on your nightstand. You appreciate everything your dear loving boyfriend is doing, but goddamnit. Can he stay still? You just want him to hug you and stop. Moving. For. Once.

Before you know it, he’s sprinting in the room again, and you announce his name loudly, and it is quite possibly the fastest you ever said anything in your life. Much to your surprise and happiness he stops dead in his tracks. You can’t help but laugh at the expression on his face and the four bottles of water with a container of Ibuprofen in his hands. “Why are you running around like that?”

“Well, uh… you see…” he begins, slowly setting the things in his hands down next to the food he brought. “I know you are on your period right now and having a sister I know what that can entail,” he starts, and you stare at him with an amused expression. “Uh-huh…”

“And, well, I know what helps Wanda, but I do not know what helps you. So… I asked Wanda what I should do and now I am… doing all of what she suggested along with a google search. But I did not own all of the things I wanted to get for you, so I have been running back and forth from the store this whole time. Also, you are scary when you are mad. Especially when you are mad at me,” he finishes, and you burst into laughter. “Pietro, that’s adorable. Also, I was only mad at you because you gave me a reason to be mad at you. So, don’t give me another reason,” you say, and he smiles. His smile, however, turns quickly to a scared expression as he hears you say, “Now if you don’t get into this bed and cuddle with me and don’t leave, then I’ll be pissed!”

He has your favorite cookies baking in the oven. What is he supposed to do now?

…Stephen.

“I brought you some more Ibuprofen,” he says, walking over and setting it down next to you. “I hope it helps.” You glare at the back of his head as he leaves the room again. Dealing with this with medicine and heating pads works, yes, but you’d much rather have the warmth radiating off of Stephen’s body to make you feel better. Sadly, it doesn’t look like that’s about to happen.

He may be book smart as all hell, but boy is he dumb when it comes to dealing with literally anything else. He of course tries, but he is so clueless sometimes. This is one of those times. He knows that certain over the counter medicines will lessen your cramps, and that typically applying heat also helps with the pain that accompanies one of your organs genuinely attempting suicide inside of your body, but he really doesn’t know what to do to actually comfort you. He of course thought of laying down with you, holding you until you felt better. However, that wouldn’t be very efficient for him. He needs to make sure the universe doesn’t implode, after all. He can tell, though, that all you want is for him to be around because of the way you’ve been snapping at him all day. Luckily, he thought of another plan that he hoped would work.

You sigh into your pillow, the pain nowhere near stopping when suddenly you feel quite the cozy sensation. You turn your head, curious as to what just wrapped around your body, when you get a big whiff of your boyfriend. You giggle, realizing that the Cloak of Levitation has just wrapped you up in a little burrito. “Cloak, what are you doing?” you say, amused. That’s when a note appears next to you, and you pick it up. “Dear (Y/N), I really do wish I could keep you company right now and make you feel better, but I have quite the workload right now. Instead, I sent Cloak. I hope that’s okay for now, if I get any free time I’ll be there. I love you, Stephen.”

You smile to yourself. As much as you wanted to be mad at him, you couldn’t be. He was really busy after all, and the fact that he did think about how you felt was enough for you to know that he wasn’t as stupid as he seemed. Oh, and he did get some free time, but he didn’t want to interrupt yours and Cloak’s little nap. He just took a lot of pictures.

…Scott.

“I was thinking, maybe I can shrink up and go inside of you and see just how bad this uterus is acting and then give it a stern talking to,” he says, trying to lighten your mood by joking around. You think. He’s not serious right? “You’re not serious, right?” you ask, just to be positive that he wasn’t being a dumbass this time. “Oh no, your brain must be suffering from blood loss. Your humor is fading! Whatever shall I do?! Oh, what a cruel, cruel world,” he drops down to his knees, beginning to fake cry which causes you to giggle at him. “Calm down, Scott, my humor isn’t going anywhere. I just honestly never know when you’re being serious,” you tell him, and he gives you a grin. “Well, I can’t blame you there. I do have something that will cheer you up though.”

You give him a questioning look when all of a sudden Cassie runs into the room, hopping up next to you in bed. You smile as she snuggles into your side, giggling the whole time. “Hey there sweetie,” you say as Scot takes a seat on the bed next to Cassie, sandwiching her in between you two. “She’s been asking for hours to watch a movie, I kinda figured it would be better if all three of us watched it instead of just me and her.”

“You’re absolutely right,” you say and hear Cassie shout a “yeah” in agreement. You and Scott chuckle at her reaction before he picks up the remote to the TV in your room, scrolling through Disney+ to find the right movie.

…Peter.

Well it’s more like he came through your window. “Karen said that I should get you these things,” he starts saying as soon as he touches down in your room. You glance over to his right arm full of medicine, a heating pad, lots of chocolate, and various feminine hygiene products. “I didn’t know which… things… you used so I bought all of the ones that I could carry, I hope that’s okay. Oh, and uh… I brought a lot of chocolate! I don’t really know why Karen said it might help, do you know why it helps? I mean, I obviously wasn’t like, ’No Karen, I don’t see how chocolate could help anyone in this situation,’ because I mean I don’t really know anything when it comes to this stuff but Karen’s a computer, so obviously she would know. Oh yeah, I brought a heating pad! Heat helps right? Or is this one of those things hear heat helps sometimes but the cold helps other times, oh crap, should I have gotten Icy Hot instead? I was right there next to it when I got all this other medicine… God I’m so stup-”

“Peter!” you make him stop rambling and one of the medicine bottles he’s holding falls out of his grip, and when he tries to save it, the rest fall. You laugh at his floundering to pick everything he just dropped back up. He rips off his mask and sighs. “I was just trying to help, you know. A now it’s all on the ground and-“

“Pete, just because you dropped it doesn’t mean it’s all useless.”

“I know, I know, I was just supposed to come in here all heroic and be like, ‘I’ve brought you what you need to feel better!’ and now it’s just…. it’s on the floor,” he says, and the disappointment in his voice is only the more endearing. “C’mere, Pete,” you say, opening. your arms so he can come hug you. “I’m all sweaty, (Y/N/N),” he mumbles, and you roll your eyes. “I need to take a shower anyways Peter, right now I just want cuddles,” you say, and lay on the puppy dog eyes. Those make him ridiculously weak to you. He just grins and jumps into bed next to you. You used the things he got you, but only after Peter himself made you feel exponentially better.

…Miles.

“Knock knock,” he says, walking into your room holding a stack of comic books. “Miles, why do you have so many comics?” you ask, turning to look at him. “Well, I know you have all the things you need to feel better with this whole… bleeding… thing?”

“This is true, I am prepared.”

“I know, but I figured the one thing you don’t have that you’d want is some good ‘ol Mile Morales loving. I also know that you kinda like the sound of my voice, even when you yell at me, so I decided I’d bring these comics and read them out loud. Oh, we can also play a little game where I describe the picture to you and you can tell me if it’s any good or not, I thought that might, y’know, take your mind off the pain,” he says, walking over to you and plopping down on the bed. “Miles I don’t think this bed is big enough for the two of us,” you say, but before you can even attempt to tell him to use your computer chair, he picks you up and moves you so you’re lying on top of him in a very comfortable position. The warmth radiating off of his body also makes you feel a little bit better. “Oh, okay, well this works perfectly,” you mumble nuzzling your face in his chest. You can feel the vibrations through his body as he laughs at you.

“Sorry for snapping at you earlier,” you say, and he just smiles. “It’s okay, I know how unbearable I can be at times,” he jokes, and you grin. “Now, how about I start with… well uh… I have a lot so…” he trails off, holding up all the comics he brought so you can see them. “which one of these is your favorite…?”

…Gwen.

“Do you wanna bang on my drums? Banging on my drums helps me,” she says, leaning against your door frame. You roll your eyes and throw a pillow at her to which she catches in one hand and tosses back. “I think you should bang on my drums,” she says again, and you sigh. “Gwen, baby, even if I wanted to do that, I can’t move. My uterus is really trying to end itself right now, and I swear if it doesn’t succeed, I will end its life for it by ending my own.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the edgy one in this relationship. Are you coming for my brand right now?” she asks, walking over to you. You narrow your eyes at her, causing her to grin and sit at the foot of your bed. “Okay, well, how about this. The newest season of that true crime show came out today…”

“No fucking way, I thought it was supposed to come out Friday?”

“It was, but then they said, ‘fuck it, let’s release it early.’ And I got all of my homework done. So, I’m totally free to sit back, rub your stomach, and get my fill of murderers and how corrupt bad police officers are. What do you say?” she gives you a sincere smile, which causes one to break out across your face as well. “Come here, woman.”

…T’Challa.

“Can I just say I have fought many a warrior, but you are the most ferocious person I have ever met,” he says, and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Is this because you were being annoying earlier and I let you know that you were being annoying earlier?” you snap again, and he points at you. “There it was. Terrifying.” You roll your eyes and turn away from him. The truth is he wasn’t doing anything annoying at all. You just really wanted him to stay with you for an hour or two and make you feel better with his presence, but he had some “Kingly duties” he had to attend to, so you’ve been alone. Dying.

“I have finished what I had to do today, you know,” he says, and you roll back over to face him again. “Oh really?” He chuckles at your immediate response and nods, walking into your shared room. “Yes, it seems I am completely free for the rest of the day. I have no idea what to do, honestly. I guess I’ll just-”

“Just stay here in bed with me? Yeah, damn right you will. Get over here yOuR hIgHnEsS,” you say, quite obviously laying the sarcasm on your highness to which he smiles at. The rest of the day was spent with the two of you just talking and you eventually falling asleep in his arms as he told you stories about when he was younger.

…Shuri.

“Even though you can be a bitch on your period I invented a new kind of heating pad for you because you are a spoiled brat, you know that right?” she says, walking over to you and dropping down the heating pad next to you. You give her a cheesy smile before thanking her and picking up this new heating pad. “The way it works is that it adjusts to your cramp pain. I’ve put a censor in it that can detect how severe the cramps are and then it administers heat accordingly. Also, you don’t have to worry about it catching on fire or anything, if it begins overheating it automatically turns off.”

“How did I end up with the best and brightest girlfriend of all time?” you ask, placing the pad on your stomach and letting your girlfriend’s technology take it from there. “Because she took pity on you,” she responds, and you laugh. She rolls her eyes, but a smile appears on her face none-the-less and she begins walking out of the room again. “Excuse me, but where do you think you are going?” you ask her and she turns to you, raising her eyebrows. “I am going to get us some ice cream so we can relax for a little bit. Is this a problem, princess?”

“Hey now, you’re the princess, I’m just your girlfriend. And no, carry on. Me and your dope ass heating pad will be waiting for you when you get back.”

“Mhm,” she says, and walks out of the room mumbling something about how you’re too spoiled, when in reality, you’re just the luckiest person in the world.

611 notes · View notes

abused-sides · 3 years

Text

Worth It

Trigger warnings: Emotional abuse, gaslighting, being called selfish a lot, mild ableism (mostly in the background, mentioned in passing), familial abuse, sad ending. Please let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: This is a commission! You can thank @darkle-elkrad for me. You did donate $25 and I know you told me to keep the extra, but this was on the shorter side. You have a little over 3,200 words left if you want me to write you another fic. Just message me! Hope you like it.

A/N: Also, this fic is based off a poem darkle-elkrad wrote, so you can read that here.

Disclaimer: J. is NOT Janus, he’s an unsympathetic OC.

Read on Ao3

Logan had a way of making people angry.

Maybe it was because he knew them so well, but he irritated his family the most. He had a talent for picking the thing that made them angriest the fastest, and somehow always managed to throw it in their face.

He didn’t think he did it on purpose. One moment he was just… existing. Maybe talking about his day at school, hanging out with a friend, working on a puzzle. Then someone was angry.

“You’re too loud,” his mom complained.

“Do you ever stop talking?” His dad snapped. “No one else can get a word in.”

“Can you sit still?” His older brother, J., shoved him playfully. “I can’t focus.”

When he complained to J., he said, “Just stop making us mad. It’s not that hard. I don’t piss everyone off all the time.”

Everyone insisted he was doing it on purpose. Maybe he was. He was angry a lot as a kid— maybe he was taking it out on them.

It was probably his fault.

One fight in particular stuck out in Logan’s memories. He was home alone with J., and they’d been arguing over what game to play. As much as Logan tried, he couldn’t remember specific details, even what the options were or why Logan didn’t decide to spend his time alone once they started arguing.

But Logan pushed one too many buttons, and J… changed.

His eyes were the first sign something was wrong. They narrowed, zeroing in on Logan like he was the only thing in the room. A seething glare took over his face for just a split second, then replaced with a wicked smile, something so unhappy it made Logan cringe thinking about it. His shoulders tensed, he clapped his hands together, and said something along the lines of, “Fine, let’s just do what you want to do. Like always. Who cares, right? Not me.”

Logan had wilted. Embarrassed heat tingled over his skin and his eyes watered. He didn’t think that was true, but when J. was so angry, he couldn’t think to refute it. His mind shut off. His words failed.

He choked out a small, “I’m sorry,” and stumbled through a, “Let’s just do your thing,” then sunk back into his seat. He thought he had been sitting— he couldn’t remember.

He didn’t want to remember.

xxx

Logan stared into the pantry with dead eyes.

“We have spaghetti stuff,” he tried.

It was their third night home alone, and Logan wasn’t sure how much longer he could take alone with J.

J. sighed hard enough to flip his bangs up for a moment and leaned against the wall next to the pantry. “We have spaghetti sauce?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why don’t we just make pizza?”

Logan hesitated. “I mean…”

His stomach twisted. He remembered the edge to J’s voice, his eyes turning into hard slits.

“We can…”

Logan’s heart rate picked up, pulsing in his fingertips, and sweat pricked his skin. Phantom frustration stuck in his throat.

He was usually so eloquent. It was his job to be good with his words. So why couldn’t he win a single argument?

Is it worth it?

“That’s what you want?” He asked hesitantly.

J. raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. You make really good pizza.”

Logan grabbed the spaghetti sauce and tub of flour.

xxx

Logan stared at his feet as he walked.

It was a nice day. The breeze rustled through Logan’s hair like they did the bright leaves on the trees. Sunrays warmed his skin. It was a Friday, so kids were still in school and most others were at work. It would have been the perfect day for reading, if not for the fact that Logan finished his book yesterday.

Logan would be in his AP History class right now, if not for J. stopping him at the door and begging Logan to skip with him. Logan had tried to convince him that he had a test that day, but J. was so upset, Logan decided it wasn’t as important.

“Can we stop by the library?” He asked, pointing to the thick novel in his arm.

J. raised an eyebrow. “You seriously want to be inside? Today?”

“No, I just—”

J. was already shaking his head. “No, we go to the library, you keep us trapped in there for hours. You know how long it takes you to even pick out a book, let alone read it.”

Logan swallowed. He stared ahead, at the park J. was taking them to. His stomach tied in knots. His palms were clammy against the hard cover.

“Well what if I just ran there by myself, and met you back here?”

J. sighed and stopped in front of Logan. He was tall— his head blocked the sun, casting cold shadows over Logan’s face. J. stared, his nose wrinkled in annoyance. “You’re gonna leave me here alone? Really?”

He shifted his weight from foot to foot.

Is it worth it?

“Is it really a big deal?” He asked quietly. “Just for a few minutes?”

“Whatever, Logan.” J. started towards one of the pavilions, eyes ahead.

Logan hesitated.

He hurried to follow.

xxx

A few weeks passed without an argument. Logan may have become a bit of a pushover, but that wasn’t too bad. He could deal with it.

He didn’t want to be selfish. He didn’t want to be a bad person. And if everyone in his family was saying the same thing, he should listen.

Their parents were out of town again. Logan curled up in the armchair as J. sprawled out on the couch, flicking through their movies.

“What d’you wanna watch?” J. flipped his dark bangs back to look at Logan.

Logan’s eyes widened. He straightened up. “Um— I don’t know, maybe… How about Big Hero 6?”

J. rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Figures. I’m sick of that one, pick something else.”

He hesitated. “Oh— alright.”

His heart raced. He tried to think of another movie, but his brain sputtered and each second his brother stared at him, Logan’s panic increased. His panic made thinking all the harder, so he panicked more, and round and round it went.

J. blinked slowly, and Logan’s heart dropped— his eyes had narrowed, hardened with anger—

Logan shook his head.

“I’m sorry, I…” He cleared his throat. “Uh, what do you want to watch?”

J. turned back to the T.V. and pointed the remote. “How about Peter Pan?”

Logan took in a shaky breath and pursed his lips. “Didn’t we watch that recently?” He tried.

“So?”

Logan pushed his sweaty palms against his jeans. “Can we— Can we watch something else?”

He flinched as J. sighed dramatically. “Like, what? Big Hero 6?”

Logan stared incredulously. “I mean, obviously that’s what I wanted to watch, but—”

“And I already said I didn’t want to! If you want to watch it so bad, watch it alone.”

“J., that’s not what I meant.”

J. sat up and tossed the remote to the side. His eyes narrowed. “Then what did you mean?”

“I…” What did he mean? He fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I just— I meant, can we pick something else?”

“Why? So you can get what you want again?”

“No, I…”

“We never do what I want. Name one time this week we did what I wanted. You’re so selfish.”

Logan’s eyes watered. He cleared his throat and nodded. “You’re right. You— um, how about you choose?”

J. nodded and grabbed the remote.

Logan brought his knees to his chest, wrapping a blanket tight around his shoulders. He thought back over the week, and for half the movie, he couldn’t think of a time J. got what he wanted. There weren’t any arguments. Everything was fine.

Close to the end, he remembered— something about breakfast —but saying it would be… trivial.

Starting the fight back up just wasn’t worth it.

xxx

Months passed. Logan avoided his family most of the time, only going out with his brother if he had to. He was trying to work on his selfish habits, but it was hard. He never seemed to realize until it was too late.

Around the middle of his senior year, he fumbled with his book and keys— he was running late. He hurried out of his room and nearly made it out of the house before J. called to him.

“Logan! Where are you going?”

Logan hesitated, then tapped the cover of his book. “She’s doing a signing at that cafe near here. She’s only gonna be there for another hour, though, I gotta go get in line.”

He started out the door, but J. grabbed his arm. He laughed. “Let me come with you. We can go to the lake after.”

“I… Okay, sure,” he said reluctantly.

He climbed into the car with J. in the driver’s seat, trying not to fidget. His family had complained many times that he was too restless. He frowned as trees whizzed past.

“J—” Logan swallowed, “J., you missed the turn.”

“We’ll just go after.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “What? No, I’ll miss it.”

J. gave him a look, and Logan suppressed a flinch. “Come on, she’ll come back around. We haven’t hung out in months. Why won’t you just come with me?”

“J.!” Logan gripped the door handle, his heart pounding as he looked at the car window. “Please, we can go after. Come on, turn around!”

“What, you gonna jump out?” He laughed. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been so selfish, why can’t we just hang out?”

“I’m not being selfish!”

J.’s gaze flicked to Logan’s.

His eyes hardened.

Logan’s palms sweat.

J. gripped the steering wheel.

Logan’s mouth went dry.

“Really?” J. asked flatly. “You’re not? What, then, would I get out of going with you?”

“It would just be a minute,” Logan tried weakly. “And we’ll be at the lake for hours. Can’t we just—”

“So hanging out with me is a waste of time?”

Logan held back a sigh. “That’s not what I said. I just mean that—”

“Fine.” J. shook his head with a dry laugh. “Let’s go to the cafe. Whatever. I don’t care.”

Logan looked at the clock. 3.38. Twenty two minutes left. Ten to get there. Who knows how long the line is? If they waited only to be turned away, how mad would J. be?

Was it worth it?

“Let’s just go to the lake,” Logan whispered, and J.’s eyes softened. “You’re right. She’ll come back. We haven’t hung out in too long.”

Logan tipped his head back. He was sick of fighting.

He wasn’t worth it.

Commission info <3

#logan sanders #sanders sides #logan #logan centric #hurt no comfort #angst #virgil writes

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lovelyirony · 4 years

Note

could you write something for trans pepper coming out to tony please?

authors note: i am not an expert, nor am i trans. please let me know if i have written anything wrong/harmful, and i’ll take it down

When Pepper started at Stark Industries, she told herself that she would not get too involved. She was here to do her job, and nothing else. She had caused “problems” at her last job, and in return they had caused problems for her as well.

(Sitting by herself at the cafeteria, fielding uncomfortable messages, and correcting intentionally wrong emails had been...exhausting. Mentally and physically.)

But this? No, this can’t go on.

The math is all wrong. It’s going to cost the company about a million dollars if she lets it pass, and while she’s sure that it could be replaced easily in a day, that’s the kind of thing that gets you fired. And when employers look at your resume and see that you were terminated from the highest-ranking job to have for an accountant, a prestigious company that takes pride in accurate numbers and satisfied employees?

Well...it doesn’t look too hot.

So she brings it up. Her boss isn’t exactly happy with her. She thinks the numbers were probably intentional.

“I’ve been doing this for years, I think I know a little bit more than you, young lady,” he scowls.

Pepper’s not exactly fazed at the dismissive remark.

“Then I’m sure that you’ll know that your math is wrong. It’d be better to double-check it and be right and have me be in the wrong than not check it and be fired.”

He doesn’t check it.

But when he’s called into Mr. Stark’s office, he must have mentioned her name.

He put the blame on her.

Pepper cannot believe it as she’s called in.

“So, Mark tells me that you did math wrong.”

“I didn’t. I triple-checked it, and kept the receipt tape as proof.”

“Oh, I know. Mark can’t do math for shit, but he hates when people tell him. But I’m glad you did, because it made me realize I can’t have someone who’s so insecure that when someone tells them to double-check it and they don’t because they want to be right, that...I don’t know what I was doing. Anyways, he’s fired.”

Pepper blinks.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Also, I’m reading your file. Virginia? Did your parents hate you?”

“Not the worst name I’ve been given,” Pepper says smoothly.

“Hm. Says here that you go by Pepper. I like that.”

“Thank you, chose it myself and everything.”

“And everything?” Tony asks, smiling. “I like that.”

Four months later, she’s in the break room when Tony’s personal assistant quits on the spot after he’s late for the third time in a week.

“I can’t fucking do this!” He screeches. “I’m done.”

Pepper’s not sure why she goes into Jason’s office and just looks at the schedule.

She calls his cell.

“Jason, seriously, I told you to quit bothering me.”

“It’s Pepper. Get your ass over here for your meeting, the board directors are about an inch away from reinstating Obadiah.”

“And that would be a bad thing...why?”

“You want your stock points to drop because you’re proving that you can’t be trusted to run a company?”

“I’ll be there.”

It’s the fastest time that Tony makes it into the office, by the way. Pepper’s only slightly proud.

She’s terrified when he offers her a position as a personal assistant. She’ll be in the limelight, people paying attention to her.

She modifies her contracts: no one is allowed to access any sort of personal information. At all. It has to be locked in a vault, only key is one that she and Tony know about.

“Anything I should know about?”

“Um. No.”

“Oh. Okay. As long as you aren’t secretly running any illegal thing out of one of the floors, then be my guest. But if you are, let me know. Petra in accounting--new hire, you wouldn’t know them--is secretly reselling wedding cakes. I think. Maybe the wedding cakes was a bad lie. Hell. But welcome aboard!”

Wrangling Tony is a lot like dealing with a goldfish. He’s a genius; she sees that when she walks into his house and sees about seven different projects lying around, and at least two papers that have notes about redoing a filtration system for drinking water.

He is also incredibly stupid.

“You have fifteen coffee cups out.”

“Impossible, I don’t own that many!”

“Aw, did you not take counting classes in preschool?”

Tony likes her. A lot. She’s got a bite of wit, no-bullshit when it comes to business, and never misses a beat. She also has a killer sense of style, and is the one who makes sure he’s not wearing a weird mixture of jeans and a sport coat.

“No.”

“Come on, it’s not like fashion actually matters that much. Well, not to me.”

“It should. You should be the most creatively dressed male out there, and you’re not. A black suit? God, that’s...that’s sad. No, I ordered you a blue silk suit. Embroidered with flowers all over, matching shoes with inverted colors. Come on. In you go.”

“Ugh.”

(His outfit is a smashing success, by the way. They ask who his stylist is, and he just says “Oh, my personal assistant said she would bury me in my garden if I wore a black suit. I would’ve dug it myself, looking on this now.”)

She does not tell him for a long time. At all. Because people are...weird about it. Weird questions, weird statements, and compliments so backhanded she doesn’t like to call them compliments.

But at some point, she needs to tell him. Or she wants to. She wants to, she doesn’t have to. Yeah.

Okay. So she’s in love with him. A tiny bit.

He makes her coffee. Every morning. Creamer goes into the mug first, then coffee. That’s the only way she takes it.

He compliments her a lot, and she knows that this shouldn’t be a reason that love qualifies but it’s nice to hear. He also bought her a very expensive pair of shoes.

Pepper honestly does want to tell him. She also does not want to lose her job, however. So she needs to gauge the situation. Maybe talk to some of her girlfriends, see what’s up.

Well then her boss goes missing for months and comes back and obviously you can’t tell someone you’re in love with them after they come back with an electromagnetic device in their chest. That’s just crazy.

He came back...different. New circumstances, new outlook on life. She relates a tiny little bit.

She buys herself a beautiful blue dress. He gives her his credit card, tells her to buy herself something nice, and goddammit she’s never been one to really disobey her boss. (Just bend some rules. Or create new ones that negate the old ones.)

She curls her hair and only curses eight times, which is actually pretty good. Her usual amount of cursing per-curling-session is about eighty-two.

He looks at her like she’s an angel, and she thinks...yeah. Okay. She’ll tell him that she’s in love with him.

Well then his uncle decides to attempt to kill him. God, what a mood killer. She hates this.

They’re laying down in his house on the patio, and he’s sipping on a smoothie that she’s honestly sure is 100% gross, and he turns to her.

“Would you ever want to go on a date with me?”

Pepper blinks.

“Yes,” she says without skipping a beat. “But we need to have a discussion before I dedicate myself to this cause.”

“What am I, a Salvation Army donation bin?”

“Maybe.”

“Then dinner-and-discussion tonight. Not a date. Just...talking.”

She’s nervous. She’s put her hair up so that she won’t run her fingers through it, but now she’s just fidgeting with her necklace and bracelet.

Tony looks nice. He’s in a casual graphic tee and old jeans that are older than she actually knew they could hold together. She is in old shorts and a tank top and yeah it’s casual but it’s also nice and wow she’s really over-thought this.

“So, what are your concerns?” Tony says. Getting to the point straight-away, that’s always his move. Pepper gulps.

“You mind if I get water?”

“Not at all.”

She sips on water.

“My concern is that I’m transgender and you need to know that before we pursue anything.”

Tony blinks.

“Um. Okay. Was not expecting that right out. I was more thinking you would have a problem with my new armor and Rhodey and I being immature when he visits and also how much time I spend on inventing.”

“Well yeah, those too. But I deal with those all the time. But I’m also concerned about you pissing off the government and them sending secret agents to kill us.”

Jarvis cuts in smoothly.

“I am afraid, Miss Potts, that they wouldn’t make it two hundred feet of this current residence. Would you like me to update security protocols at other residences around the globe?”

“You can do that?” Pepper asks.

“Yes, Miss Potts.”

“Please do update, thank you.”

Tony grins, looking at her. The same way. Which is kind of exhilarating, all things considered.

“You amaze me. J, remind me that if Pep and I break up, I need to build a bunker that could withstand a nuclear war.”

“I will not remind you of that, as I’m sure it will be on you,” Jarvis remarks.

Pepper snorts.

“I wasn’t aware that I was going to turn my AI against myself,” Tony sighs. “Such is life.”

Pepper grins. He squeezes her hand.

“You want to celebrate this with wine? I’m sure tomorrow you’ll have me signing so many forms for workplace relationships that I’ll cry by two p.m.”

“Make that one p.m., and you’ll be fine you big baby,” Pepper teases.

Tony blows her a kiss as he gets up from the couch.

“Thank you. For telling me. I know that that’s hard to tell people. Discuss more of it later, or now?”

“Mm, later. It’s late at night, I’m tired.”

“Gotcha. You want red or white tonight?”

“...Red.”

Tony grins, getting out the wine glasses. He pours carefully and expertly, and raises his. They clink their glasses together.

“Cheers to more success. For the both of us.”

Pepper grins softly.

“For success.”

#i was hesitant writing this #so if there is a problem here #or if i wrote something that is harmful/hurtful: PLEASE let me know #transphobia tw #lovelyirony writes #i do like this headcanon a lot tho #i think it's very nice :)#trans!pepper #pepper potts #tony stark #pepperony #anyways i just like that pepper is immediately like 'WELL CALLING YOU ON YOUR BULLSHIT'#and then tony's like 'omg ur the love of my life!'

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imma-potatoo · 3 years

Text

Blond Janus Darkside Headcanons

I noticed how I haven't written down any info on the dark sides (Wrath, Apathy, Depression, Remus and pre-AA Virgil). More will be added.

Masterpost

Taglist:

@mother-snake, @writerstrashbin, @psychedelicships, @cryptidwriterdotcom (ask to be removed or added)

Wrath

Leader of the dark sides

Can induce a blind rage

When the rage is happening the recipient cannot control what they say or do and react simply on their first thought

The rage becomes stronger the more angry the person becomes

Wrath can't bring someone out of the rage. He can induce it but the person has to come out of it themselves

He has almost no control of Apathy because of that due to his lack of emotion

Likes to wear a partial suit. Finds that the coat is restricting and makes more complex movements hard

Still owns the coat. Just never wears it.

Symbol is tattooed on his left wrist

Orange and black color scheme. Like this:

Immediate reaction to almost anything is to yell.

Loves huge parties

If he's going to make a point, he makes it loud and clear. Often in front of other people so they can see what happens if you step out of line

Rules the dark sides more like a dictatorship then a family or of equel footing

Believes that they have to bend Thomas to their will and that the light sides are complete fools who will only destroy Thomas life

Wants Thomas to take what he wants and not to worry about who he leaves behind

If Thomas has to kill a politician to get what he wants? Sure go ahead. As long as he gets what he wants

When angry, Wrath is ruthless

He'll take your deepest fear and taunt you with it until you snap under the strain and comply to his every whim

He refuses to take no for an answer

Because of his hatred for the lights; he takes it out on Janus

He's big on public humiliation

If Janus would step out of line; well, he doesn't need all of those scales does he? He's sure Apathy would love to see the reactions if you rip some off

To aid in the control of the others; Wrath has complete control over the food supply

When the others are listening and followings orders. Good, they get to eat properly

When they don't? Your options are moldy bread or cheese that has been out in the open for about a month.

Him and Apathy eat like kings while the others decide between food poisoning and starvation

Likes to take words of affection and make them have a negative meaning (ex: the word Love.) after beating the hell out of someone, he would make them look directly in his eyes and says that he loves them... And he makes them say it back

He hates it when the others cry

Says that they're doing it for attention and that they should shut the fuck up

Apathy

Second in command

Can nullify peoples emotions. Leaving them feeling like an empty shell. The effects normally break after an hour

If Apathy knows your name he can control you like a puppet

White and black outfit. White shirt with black suspenders and pants.

Doesn't show where he keeps his symbol (its on his right ankle, its more like a tattoo then a patch)

Has a deep obsession with fire

Owns a zippo (a lighter that flips open)

Often feels empty due to his function. The fire makes him feel warm, feel more human (as human as the sides can be anyway)

Doesn't quite understand emotion. He understands the basics of it (cry = sad, laugh = hqppy, yell = angry.) but the more complex reactions confuse the hell out of him. Crying out of happiness is one of the things he will never understand.

Because of his lack of understanding of emotions; Apathy tries to understand through making others feel said emotions

Wants to know how someone would react when you break a precious item? Time to find a couple photos.

Will someone scream when you waterboard them? Hm well, only one way to test that.

Opinions change like a flip of a switch

One day he'll help you make dinner with a plastered on smile. The next he'll knock you out and burn you with his lighter with that same smile

Has only properly laughed twice

The first time was when Thomas accidentally laughed at someones funeral (he couldn't cope that the person was gone and his default reaction was to laugh)

The second was after the three of them (wrath, depression and him) shut off the heating to Janus' room and locked him inside

In order to understand things he doesn't know; he does experiments

He's not allowed to experiment on Wrath and Depression has no fun reactions. So he has his fun with Janus instead

Kinda likes it when blood stains his dress shirt

Because its warm. The warmth that once came from the person now belongs to him and it eases the cold empty feeling only slighty and temporary but its warm

He's indifferent on the lights. They're a little too perky for his tastes

Depression

Third in command

Doesn't really get a lot of say with decisions

Can erase certain memories (he doesn't use it very often)

Wears a medium blue dress shirt, brown leather suspenders with a black bowtie.

Normally keeps his sleeve rolled up

When crying; his eyes leak black

If the tears hit your skin, its a 10% chance that you could collapse and start spewing your insecurities while your eyes leak black

Symbol is on the back of his neck

Doesn't really mind not having the control that Apathy and Wrath have

Less work for him to do anyway

Couldn't care about the other twos blatant abuse of Janus

He sees it as a way to keep Janus in line

If Virgil wanted to play father figure he can go ahead. But that doesn't mean he has to be kind

Respects and looks up to Wrath

Normally just follows the lead of the others

He's the epitome of the duckling following the leader

Wrath has steak and potatoes for dinner? Depression also wants that too

Wrath says that they need to bend Thomas to their will? Well duh! Of course!

Wrath says that Janus has been out of line lately? Well why don't we break his leg again to show him a lesson

Most of the time, the food restrictions have no effect on him bc he listens to Wraths every word

Virgil

Was the second in command before he left

Opposed Wrath on his more extreme tactics

Has the ability to control shadows and others own Anxiety

Hated the dress code that Wrath insists on having. What kind of person wears suspenders and a dress shirt daily anyway?

Still wears the stupid things anyway because Wrath said to and he's not in the mood to get beat

Symbol is tattooed on underneath his shirt. The left side

After adopting Janus he lost his position as Wrath's right hand

Kinda pissed him off when he got demoted. Not bc of the loss of power. But bc he couldn't protect Janus as well

After adopting Janus he became the 4th in power (after Depression)

Remus

Is the epitome of don't give a shit

He has the power to conjure things and cause intrusive thoughts

Half the time he ignores the dress code completely

Typically opting for his normal clothes but does own a uniform as well

(if anyone has a better photo of this outfit pls pls pls DM me. I've looked through hundreds of photos and this is the best dark green dress shirt with suspenders I got)

Symbol is tattooed on the swell of his back

Gets practically no opinion on dealings or decisions with plans

Remus is a indifferent party. One moment he'll help you. The next he'll stab you in the back

He mostly just works with who can give him what he wants the fastest

He actually feels pity for Janus

Not like he'll ever act on that but he still feels a bit bad for the guy

Remus is kinda like that uncle at family get togethers that no-one talks to or cares about but he's always there

Janus

Oh boy, where to start?

Has the lowest rank out of every other side

His power (the ability to make people unable to talk) can only be used on the light side of the mind

He is also unable to heal immediately on the dark side

Meaning that he has to treat his wounds the old fashioned way

Doesn't really like the dress code

Only gets to wear his normal outfit when he's visting the light sides

Blond hair (wow! Really? Not like its the the name of the au!!)

His patch isn't a tattoo

This boi has the biggest fucking sweet tooth you could ever imagine

He is also so fucking short

His shoes have lifts to make him taller

He's cold blooded

When he gets focused, he bleps

This is turning fluffy-

He is literally covered head to toe in scars

Almost no skin was left untouched

Lying is a defense mechanism for him. He's deceit! He can lie his way out of anything!

Heavily disagrees on Wraths views

Thomas should get ahead, of course he should. But that shouldn't come at the price of someones life or the cost of his reputation

Hurting someone to get ahead in the short-term is only going to harm you in the long term

To hide the bruses, he applies thick layers of makeup and illusions if he's on the light side

Hasn't gotten a good sleep in years

He's terrified that someone will break into in bedroom while he's sleeping and finish him off

Or that they'll cut the heating again and he'll slowly freeze to death

Or that they'll drag him out of his room and chain him up somewhere to become nothing but a punching bag

He has agoraphobia (fear of open spaces)

Hasn't had positive touch since Virgil left

He has venom. Its very lethal and only activates when threatened

When angry, his eyes glow yellow and his canine teeth grow sharp and long that they stick out of his mouth slightly like fangs

Was meant to be a light side and function as Validity and Societal Self Preservation. But the dark sides found him first and brought him back with them

Virgil is his father figure

Doesn't really know how to feel after finding out that he's not a dark side

He does feel really really lied to and betrayed

But... Virgil is his dad. Virgil raised him

How could he be upset?

Writes down all of his thoughts and complaints in journals that he keeps in his room

He started writing journals when he was very young, so there is hundreds of them

Honestly doesn't know how to feel about him being a light side.

He's mad at Wrath. He knows that. But he can't do anything because his powers don't work on the dark side

He might as well be powerless.

When on the light side (so when all his powers work) his powers include: silencing others, the ability to repress sides/ make them unable to appear to Thomas and illusions.

His title is technically Validity with the added function of societal self preservation

Still goes by Deceit anyway

----

Has three brands burned onto him via Apathy

Is on his left ankle. Its his snake symbol. About the size of your fist

On his right bicep. The word "monster" in bolded writing. About two fingers in thickness.

Left chest, above his heart. The words "Property of the Dark Sides" in cursive text. The writing sits in a box.

All the brands are extremely painful for Janus if touched. Brand #3 is the brand he hates the most

His scales are more in patches then a perfect 50/50 split down his body

More will be added in the future.

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nanero11 · 4 years

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Color me in love - pt 2

Hey everyone, thank you so much for your support on part 1. Every single comment, reblog, and like literally means so much to me. Please let me know your thoughts on this part, I love reading what everyone has to say. I’ll try to get pt 3 out soon. (@marvelmisha)

It had been a few days since the Djinn incident. A few days since Geralt discovered Jaskier was his soulmate and his life changed forever, since he fucked it up like he always does, and since he can’t look at Jaskier without feeling a nauseating mix of what Geralt has decided must be love, uneasiness, and guilt.

Love because, well it all seems so obvious to Geralt now. How he had been slowly falling in love with Jaskier, since they met, without even knowing. It makes him laugh looking back on it, thinking about how clueless he had been.

Uneasiness because the bard hadn’t brought it up. No mentioning of colors, no mentioning of soulmates, and in all the damn time they’ve spent together he hadn’t so much as implied anything about the situation.

Guilt…because Geralt knew that Jaskier had seen him and Yennefer together that day after defeating the Djinn.

He didn’t even know why he slept with her. Or maybe he did, but he just didn’t want to admit to himself that he was so weak, that the second he had finally figured out he had more to live for than killing monsters he threw it all aside for what was easier and more familiar. And he hated what he did, and he hated himself because he had done it and that it had been, in part, to get Jaskier off his mind, but that he had ended up thinking about him the whole time anyways. Fuck, he knew he was bad at this whole soulmate thing, but he didn’t know he was this hopeless.

And, a few days was a long time to think about something when you couldn’t get it out of your head. Every second, of everyday, thoughts of colors and Jaskier were constantly running circles in his mind and it certainly didn’t help that the bard was traveling with him at the moment. The only time he could get a semblance of focus was when he was killing monsters, and even then, he was thinking about the fastest way to get the job done so the monster wouldn’t have a chance to direct its attacks at whomever was nearby, that whomever being Jaskier.

No, he couldn’t focus on anything, unless that anything was Jaskier. Like right now. Jaskier was composing a song about Geralt saving him and defeating the Djinn, and Geralt was trying to cook dinner. But instead of paying attention to the rabbit he was roasting, Geralt was watching how the glow from the fire caused shadows and lights to bounce around on Jaskier’s face while he swayed back and forth as he strummed his lute and mumbled little rhymes.

“Uh, Geralt--”

Yes, Geralt was extremely focused right now. Focused on the way Jaskier’s blue eyes seemed to shimmer as they looked at him and the way his lips moved around his words and, oh fuck, the bard was talking to him.

“Geralt! Hellooo, are you in there? Oh, you’ve come back to me. You see, I just really had to ask if you were planning on feeding me that burnt hare for dinner. Because, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the effort, but I’d prefer to not eat charcoal.”

Geralt’s eyes immediately flew to the rabbit and he barely had time to bite out, “Ah, shit,” before he grabbed the blackened meat and tossed it away from the fire. They both watched its smoldering corpse land a few feet away before Geralt lowered his face to his hands with a groan. He was supposed to cook dinner for them so Jaskier could go to bed, so maybe, just maybe, he could try to think without getting sidetracked over and over.

He let out a deep sigh and for a moment after it was utterly silent. Just the bugs chirping and the fire crackling and Roach shifting around letting out soft neighs every now and again. Then, he heard Jaskier set down his lute and make his way around the fire to him. The bard laid his hand upon Geralt’s shoulder and something in the way he said his name compelled him to look up, although he wished he hadn’t. Because now he was lost in those blue eyes which were filled with concern and Geralt was pissed because he kept letting himself get distracted, and also because he really, really, didn’t fucking deserve Jaskier’s worry.

“It’s okay, really. We had a big lunch, I’m sure we can survive skipping dinner—"

“No.”

“You can’t be serious. You’re really going to go out hunting at this time of night?” Jaskier said this with his hands on his hips and his eyebrow almost all the way up his forehead, and Geralt knew that this meant the bard thought he was being ridiculous. But instead of paying any attention to Jaskier’s obvious judgement, Geralt appreciated the way his mouth formed a small pout and how his hips were cocked out to one side and shit it was happening again.

“Yes, I’m going hunting.” Then, Geralt was up and gathering his weapons and Jaskier was grabbing his wrist and asking him to wait and saying something about being concerned, but Geralt only shook him off and told him to stay at the camp. Because it was just easier to leave the bard behind, so he didn’t have to look at him with all those radiant colors, or hear him chatter on about all the things he had to say, and so he didn’t have to think those thoughts that he didn’t know how to deal with. The ones about how Jaskier was looking or what Jaskier was doing, and that Jaskier hadn’t brought up their bond or made any advances on him yet, and that it drove Geralt fucking crazy that Jaskier was right there and that Jaskier had touched him and all Geralt had wanted to do was grab him and maybe tell him how he felt.

And, it also drove him crazy because he was pretty sure he had finally figured out why Jaskier was avoiding the subject. Geralt had exhausted every possible conclusion over the past couple of days and only one thing seemed to make any sense. It was clear to him now, the fact that Jaskier just didn’t want him. He knew that Jaskier liked him, sure, but loved him? Wanted to be with him? Of course not, and who could blame him. Geralt knew how he could be abrasive and blunt. Physically attractive? Everyone he’s been with seemed to think so. But emotionally capable? That was a whole other issue and probably one that Jaskier didn’t want to deal with.

With that, his decision was made. As long as Jaskier was happy, Geralt was happy and Geralt would not push his selfish and unfair desires on the bard. So, with fresh rabbit in hand, Geralt made his way back to camp, because he would be damned if Jaskier went to sleep hungry.

Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6

#geralt x jaskier #geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #the witcher #my writing #color me in love #soulmate au #i wasn't expecting this to be a long fic but it looks like it might be so everyone buckle up #god why is geralt like this he makes me want to rip my hair out

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