#taehyung scenarios | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rendaze · 1 year

Text

work on you (m)

+ featuring ... manager!taehyung x idol!reader

+ summary ... when your manager, kim taehyung, decides to avoid you after a massage turned sexual, you are determined to kill two birds with one stone: get him to talk to you again by fucking him.

+ genre ... smut, fluff

+ wordcount ... 12k

+ warnings ... fem!reader, possessive/jealous!taehyung, dom!taehyung, perv!taehyung, brat!reader, a lot of dirty talk, orgasm denial, objectification, dumbification, degradation, dirty talk, cumplay, cum swallowing, exhibitionism, public fingering,

For much of the night, Kim Taehyung is quiet. He rests on the crème couch, cat eyes observing you through the mirror. Outside, pink skies fade to indigo and crickets popcorn beneath the underbrush; the pattering of your feet against the practice room floor accompanies it. It has been hours since workers have clocked out and the last buses have run, but he knows this.

Your manager of two years is not known for the saccharine politeness of his peers nor the pedantic nature of his seniors. Instead, he is blunt. Reserved. An intrinsic part of your life whom you’d grown reliant on as winter faded to summer and back again.

His diligence is not due to principle but rather habit – if it wasn’t for you, he would be watching cable, cigarette ash tainting work clothes he was too tired to change out of. Instead, he waits—regardless of overtime—to drive you to your apartment where he bids you a weary ‘bye’ only to pick you up three hours later. He doesn’t need to, but he does. A habit.

But as entangled as your lives have grown, he has always kept a distance; hence your intrigue when he approaches you post-practice where he would have ignored you altogether.

“You look tired,” he says in the disinterested tone you’d come to expect.

He studies you through the floor-length mirrors as you spread your legs in a stretch. You had been shy once, all too aware of how little your leggings left to the imagination, but Taehyung’s blank stares had assuaged those thoughts long ago.

You admit, his ignorance bothers you. He is there, but he is not, with all the presence of drapery that sways only when a window is ajar.

“I’m fine,” you say – and you are, for the most part. “Just a little sore.”

“Where does it hurt?”

You dismiss his verbosity as a sign of your own palpable fatigue. “No, it’s just that my shoulders feel like shit.”

“Do you need help?” His fingers flutter before your face. “I could give you a massage.”

As the sole target of his scoldings, the notion of such a Samaritan action is laughable. “Oh, really? You?”

“Why not?” Cherry-tinted lips twitch. “Can’t have your body breaking down on me before your comeback.”

His tongue pokes his cheek and he cracks his knuckles; the sound draws you to the length of his fingers, callused and long. The kind meant to caress piano keys or draw pleasure from a crooning lover. You think of those hands on you, enkindling a different type of satisfaction.

You are pulled to face the mirror as he stands behind you. “Like this,” he says, the ball of his wrist gliding against your upper back. His hands are rough as he kneads, tugging and pressing on the skin as he would dough, a harshness that should hurt but doesn’t. He moves closer, his pulsing heat a reminder of his proximity.

Sandalwood, you realize. That’s what he smells like.

You breathe it in as if the rest of him would follow. Once, twice. Then exhale as he finds a particular knot between your shoulders.

“Your muscles are so tight,” he says, with all the wispy quality of a fever dream.

It’s wanton to clench at such an innocent usage of the word but you do, thighs rubbing against each other in pursuit of friction.

The siren song of his whisper dallies close to your ear’s cusp. “You’ve really been overworking yourself. I guess this is sort of my fault, huh?” He heaves a great sigh. “It’s only right that I make up for it then.”

You nod, unable to part your lips for fear of the sounds that would surface. Had you always been so weak, you wonder, the tickle of his breath inches from your neck enough to compose your compliance. Comets of ideas, bad and worse, streak past your musings. You pluck one, entertaining the thought of grinding against his length until it hardens between your ass.

You instantly berate yourself though your underwear moistens still.

Your manager. He’s your manager. A person of whom your mortification would be parried, and your chagrin discarded. Such constant proximity would be unbearable if awkward, and Taehyung, as curt as he is, means too much to you to be cast aside due to your own lack of restraint.

Stood before a mirror, there is nothing else to focus on but the reflected image of him behind you. There’s no particular difference in his wardrobe today: a beige cardigan, dark jeans, and pale sneakers, reminiscent of a History major, art connoisseur, or both. Curled obsidian hair drapes along the curve of his eyes, eyes focused on his ministrations against your back. One would expect a more formal way of dress, but considering that most of his job revolves around following your schedule all day there’s no reason to.

He grins when he catches you staring.

You scoff, face burning. “What?”

“Don’t you think you’ll feel better if I massage you while you’re lying down?”

His hands rub your bare arms, coaxing a reply out of your quiet contemplation. You hesitate – not out of wariness, but rather embarrassment that he may find a swift reply too eager. Though he is not one to heartlessly poke fun at another, you attempt as casual a shrug as your nerves can handle.

He leads you by a gentle grip on your wrist to the spacious couch opposite where you’d been standing. The same couch he spends most of his time on while waiting for your practices to end.

He motions for you to flip over and lie down on your stomach with a swirl of his finger. The action combined with your obedience is almost dog-like, but you are so deeply entrenched in his spell that if he told you to bark you would.

Face planted into a pillow, you can hear his shuffling as he kneels atop you outside your thighs. He rubs circles against your shoulders, leaning forward to whisper: “Feels good?”

Below, your core aches like the starved, demanding sustenance.

“Sure,” you say, settling on the least innocuous of words. “You’re like… strangely good at this.”

“Good enough to switch careers? I don’t think the pay would be as good, though.”

“I wouldn’t be there either, so that would suck. For you.”

There’s a playful frown in his tone. “Oh, yes, because how could I ever go about my day-to-day life without you in it?”

He’s joking but you do wonder what he does outside of managing you. If he has hobbies, passions, friends… or a significant other he does this to. To be candid, the thought irks you.

“Are you sore anywhere else?” he asks, having focused on your shoulders.

You respond with a breathless ‘yes’, turning your head to meet his gaze. “My lower back.”

His fingers are a paradox of frigid and warm as he grazes your neck, making his way down your spine, then shoulders, then upper arms. He sits astride your ass, touch gliding against the exposed skin below your top. He digs into your muscles as if trying to see what is buried beneath them.

He’s never touched you so purposefully before.

He’s never done much of any of this before.

Talking. Touching. Tempting.

“Is it cool if I lift your shirt?” he asks. “It’s getting in the way.”

Your breath hitches, your heart races, and somewhere outside the company building the horn of a taxi startles you out of reverie.

“Go ahead.” You nod, helping him help you out of the shirt.

He’s clinical as he folds it and places it on the hardwood flooring. He doesn’t look at your bra—a gray, sporty number—and avoids touching the fabric as he continues.

A few blissful minutes pass when he says that he has an idea.

He gets up, walks to your bag, and (without needing to ask) locates the lotion you keep in a pouch. Settling back down, his crotch nestles between the warmth of your ass. The plastic pump splashes white cream onto your back which he massages into the skin.

“Does that feel better?” he asks, hands gliding across the exposed flesh. It smells like nectar on his hands and feels like ambrosia against your skin. His touch is overwhelming, every caress casting electricity straight to your lower stomach.

“My abdomen hurts too.” The words are a muffled whisper against the throw pillow your face is buried in.

“Then, turn over,” he says, as if it’s that simple. Perhaps, to him it is. Perhaps, this is all in your head, that lightning-charged static in the air.

He moves up, allowing space for you to roll over.

When he sits down his crotch directly presses against your clothed cunt.

His pinky rests against your chest, moving with the sound of your breathing. It slips slightly beneath the stretch of fabric, poking the flesh. You hold your breath until you can’t– until your lungs demand air as much as your body demands his.

You hold his wrist. “Is my bra getting in the way too?”

His adam's apple bobs, pretty eyes flickering between you and your concealed chest. “A bit,” he shrugs, sliding another finger beneath the underwire.

Your voice is raspy, the way one sounds when in thirst. “Then you should remove it.”

He moves with the grace of a caught deer, watching your face for any sign of hesitation. Your back arches, allowing his hand to slip underneath and unclip it. He slides the straps down your arms, inch by inch, giving you time to say no. You don’t, not able to even fathom the thought of doing so.

He drinks in your chest and the erect nipples standing in the centers of them with dilated pupils and hooded eyes. You imagine that he thinks you’re gorgeous, that it takes all of his will-power not to ravage you on that couch as beasts often do. It is that need to be made into poetry under his gaze that you push your chest upward, seeking his warmth.

He stills your squirming with a hand to your sternum. “Don’t move,” he says, a command you heed the moment it leaves his lips.

The rough pads of his fingers graze your hips then stomach before resting beneath the cusp of your chest. You are hyper-aware of every movement, every stutter, every pulse – if only so that you don’t miss that cataclysmic moment when his hands finally cup the flesh that hides your stampeding heart.

He grips you carefully, digging moon-shaped indents on your skin. Your nipples rest within the crevice of his outstretched fingers, surrounded yet untouched.

“This isn’t a good angle.” He pouts, looking around before finding the tossed pillows. Your back is moved into an arch as he tucks one of them beneath the small of your back, causing your chest to jut out from where you lay. He grins, satisfied.

His hands go back to your chest, working from the outside in circular motions, avoiding your nipples. He then reaches for the lotion bottle, pumping more of the white cream onto you.

“Do you like this?” He asks, fingers dragging around your slippery tits.

“Yeah, it feels really good.”

“Really good, huh?” He laughs when your body jerks at his finger brushing against your nipple. “How about this? Are you sensitive here?”

You groan when he pinches the bud. “What do you think?”

“No one’s giving them enough attention, huh?”

To your embarrassment, you whine when he moves his hands away.

“Shh, you don’t want to be caught getting special treatment from your manager, do you? Unless… that’s the sort of thing you’re into?” He laughs, eyes blown out as he watches you panic. You’ve never seen that look on him before.

“What the hell are you talking about, you dick?”

“Nothing.” He bites his lower lip in an attempt to quell his laughter. If you weren’t insanely horny at the moment then you would’ve been better able to appreciate the rarity of such a display of emotion. “You’re just being really cute right now acting all shy when all I’m doing is giving you a massage. You said you were tired, so I’m helping you.” He squeezes your tits. “That’s part of my job, isn’t it?”

You scoff. “You mean this is you being a pervert. I can feel your definitely average-sized cock hard as hell against me.”

Taehyung gasps as if that was the most insulting thing he’d ever heard. “Okay, three things: one, I’m not a pervert; two, my cock is definitely not average; and three, if you want me to stop then tell me and we can pretend that this never happened. Or, you know, if the pretending fails then we could just die from the inescapable awkwardness. That’d be fine too.”

Trust that he was only ever talkative when he wanted to bother you. You roll your eyes, mumbling: “Well, I didn’t say that…”

His gaze meets yours, dark and tempting. “Then what do you want from your poor, overworked manager?”

You answer by moving his hand back to your chest. “Nothing much,” you say coyly, though what you mean is ‘everything’.

His nails scratch tight circles around each bud, teasing you. He watches your wide-eyed desperation with amusement, alternating between fanning his fingers over the points and holding them between his slippery fingers, squeezing them until they slip out of his grip.

He blows phantom winds against the mounds, hardening them into stalactites. He rocks against you, hips against hips, crotch against crotch, stimulating your clit through the sheer fabric of your leggings. You whine and pant with every motion.

“You’re so noisy. Do you want me to stop?”

“No!” The word leaves you before you can fake nonchalance.

“Then be a good girl and focus on my service.”

Though he’d always been the strict type, you weren’t one to be so obedient: to follow his every command, bend at his will, become a pliable figure; to crave escape through the form of mindlessness. Between his periodic seeking of consent and cautious eyes, you feel safe, safe to drown in his touch and never resurface. You know, even then, that despite the blasé way you were both treating this moment, it was one that neither of you could take back.

He scoots backwards from where he sat on your thighs, moving your feet over his lap. From this angle, he is sure to notice the wet outline of your labia through your leggings.

The soles of your feet are a slight vermillion from having danced barefoot for the past three hours, and he briefly rubs them before moving upwards, to your ankles, your knees, your thighs. It is with an anxious draw of breath that you await his touch at your most sensitive center.

“Where do you want me to touch you?”

“Anywhere,” you say. “As long as you keep doing it.”

“I’m going to need a specific place, sweetheart.”

Head tossed back, you whine. “Just- Come on, Taehyung.”

He kneads your outer thighs, scarcely exerting pressure. “Is this what you want?”

“Please. There. Touch me there. It hurts.”

He chuckles beneath his breath. “Poor baby. I’m sorry, but I don't know where ‘there’ is. Oh, I have an idea. How about you show it to me?” He moves to give you enough space. “Come on, show me where and how you want to be touched.”

You, the rational you, would have been unable to process the erotic words coming from your manager’s lips. These are the whispers you’d conjured in daydreams with not even the hope of being subject. But you aren’t the rational you. The you beneath Taehyung is someone else entirely, someone caught in a dream without desire to wake.

Your hands crawl to the waistband of your leggings but hesitate at the breach.

“Don’t be shy. I know how you like to play with your little cunt in hotel showers, even though you know I’m waiting outside the door, subject to hearing your pretty moans. I’ve always wondered how you pleasured yourself, if you liked to finger your sopping hole until you passed out or if you preferred to press the stream of a shower head against your clit.”

Whilst your right hand sneaks its way into your underwear, your left slaps to your lips, rushed to suppress a gasp. “Are you actually trying to kill me? Have some fucking decorum. And what do you mean you heard me?”

“Decorum? I’m not the one touching myself where anyone could walk in and catch me.”

You didn’t even realize when you’d started the teasing motions, fingers caressing your outer labia.

You scoff. “You’re acting like you weren’t salivating over my tits a few minutes ago.”

“Is that what you want? Me salivating over your tits?”

His hair, like strands of inky silk, drape over eyes that refuse to part from your gaze. He is warm where he touches you, cold where he doesn’t, and temperate only when he mouths against your skin, marking you, in some invisible way, as his own. Your gasp echoes in that cave-like room, his lips an inferno keeping you sane. He nibbles at your breasts, teeth tugging at the perked tips. His spit dribbles down your flesh.

“So soft. I’ve always wondered what you taste like.” His mumbles vibrate against your skin.

You press tight circles against your clit at the same pace as Taehyung’s tongue against your nipples. The sounds, wet and sticky, are loud to an embarrassing degree.

“Baby, look at you. At this rate you’re going to dirty the couch, and then who’s gonna have to clean it? Maybe if I’m too tired I’ll have you lick it spotless instead.”

You push a finger inside, curling the digit with a gasp.

“Interesting.” He grins. “So, you do like it when I treat you like this. I knew it.”

“You talk way too much when you’re horny.”

“Only because it’s you,” he says. “You turn me into an absolute mess.”

“Is that why you only talk to me when you want to scold me?” It’s a childish question. His attention wasn’t yours to have, a fact you’ve grown well-acquainted to.

“Because I knew something like this–” he licks your neck “–was inevitable, and that it’d be my fault. Though… I’m starting to think you’re the type that likes to be scolded.”

His face is inches from yours. The span of a butterfly’s wings, or a fallen autumn leaf. You prop yourself up with the arm that isn’t beneath your leggings, breaching the gap ever so slowly. “So, you imagined it, then? Something like this happening?”

“It usually went a little different.”

“How so?”

“Well, I’d already be fucking you, for starters. And I’d probably initiate it with something less lame than ‘offering a massage’.” He notices your slowing hand and laughs. “Tired, already? You really are such a princess. Do you want me to do it for you?”

You nod, though you should have known nothing ever came easy with Kim Taehyung.

His fingers creep up your legs before squeezing your thighs open. Between, a wet spot darkens the fabric, and he notices it with a smugness that annoys you. He moves your arm away before palming your wet cunt from outside your leggings. The touch is electrifying yet not nearly enough to sate you. As if sensing your dissatisfaction, he slips his hand beneath the cloth, directly touching your clit.

He sloppily plays with your juices, spreading them around your pussy. Deeming you wet enough, he sinks a finger into your warmth. The squelch sound is inescapable as he begins a moderate pace. You squeeze your eyes tight enough for your world to burst into starlight, flecks of shimmery white floating across your vision.

He lifts his hand to your face, and you could smell your moisture before you saw it, viscous strands hanging between his fingers. “Look at this,” he says. “They’re soaking wet.”

Without thought, you take his fingers into your mouth, rolling your tongue around the digits. You’d never tasted yourself before. It’s more sour than you imagined, but not as bad as one would expect.

“That’s a good girl,” he praises. “What’re you making that face for? Do you want more?”

You release his fingers. “Fuck, please just touch me.”

He leans over you, nibbling at your ear before whispering: “Too bad.”

All too abruptly, he startles you by clapping his hands and standing up. “C’mon, let’s get you home.”

You blink, dumbfounded. “To… fuck?”

He laughs, glancing at his watch. “As much as I would love that, I’m still your manager. And you have to be awake by eight,” he explains with a normalcy unsuited for your half-clothed, aroused state.

“Are we really not going to even talk about-”

He tosses you your shirt and bra.

“Thanks…” You don the clothes in haste. “And for the massage. Though, it was missing one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“An orgasm,” you deadpan.

“Well, there’s always the option of getting me fired, though I’d prefer to keep my livelihood sustained, thanks.”

“Don’t give me ideas,” you joke. “And here I was thinking you’d risk it all for me.”

“I’d risk a lot of things for you, but definitely not if seeing you around everyday was at stake.”

A grin forms on his tinted lips as he turns before you can gather your words. The door slams shut behind his harried exit and you are left, alone.

Several suns have set and risen, and on the eighth turning you decide you’d had enough of his boyish disregard. You recall being eight, blithe with even the gentle breeze lifting autumn leaves into tangerine storms. Boys at that age were difficult, if they weren’t picking at you they were ignoring you altogether, huddled into little clubs of their own. Every attempt at breaching their sanctified playground circles result in them scurrying in all directions, like mice caught lurking in a kitchen. Taehyung didn’t seem much different.

When he picked you up on the morning after that first intimacy, he had nary a word to say. Even a glance too many had his ears reddening and shoulders curling in, as if it were possible to shrink himself small enough to be unseen. He, who’d eat in his car if he weren’t eating with you, found himself talking to the other staff, if only to avoid your confrontation disposition as he knew you were loath to interrupt an uninvited conversation.

Prior to the current state of tension, you’d jokingly asked him to guess what your astrological sign was. His immediate guess was Taurus. As your manager, he was the one most subjected to your stubbornness, your unwillingness to give up if only to prove a point. But you—impatient, tired you—were reaching your limit.

Yes, you were stubborn, but you hadn’t realized how his obstination could rival your own. And more than your missing and wanting of him, the question of ‘why’ burned trails along your musings. Why? Why was he avoiding you when: one, he’d been the one to initiate the tryst; two, during the moment, he’d joked of things being too awkward (and surely joking about things being awkward meant that things weren’t awkward enough to not be joked about); and three, he had acted as if everything was fine until that dreadful morning after, when he picked you up from your apartment (as he always did) except with not a word to say or a glance to spare.

Yes, indeed, you were stubborn. It was how you’d gotten this far in such a consuming career, but you were sure that you’d have given up at this point – he was just a man after all, and you had other problems of greater consequence. However, there was one thing stopping you from ceasing the pursuit.

Alone in your apartment, you are unafraid of moaning or indulging in the characteristic sticky sound of masturbation. That wetness spurs you into speed. A rush to completion. It is more out of necessity than pleasure, and the pace of your fingers exhibit that. You don’t bother fingering yourself, finding the notion too tiring. Instead, your focus is on your clit and massaging tight circles against the protective skin covering it.

You’ve become an expert of your own body, having so few sexual partners over the years. The risk of dating was high for idols, and you’d found that the few times you had risked it it was never sex worth losing one’s career for.

You know how much pressure to apply against the nub, teasing yourself at the edge long enough to draw out the pleasure. Your other hand lazily drapes across your chest, softly gliding across the skin just as Taehyung had that week before.

You’d be quite the fool to not notice how he coughs into his fist, ears red, when he notices your staring, or the subtle ways he checks you out when he thinks you aren’t looking (that much, at least, hasn’t changed).

By this point, you’d masturbated to him and that moment on the couch one too many times.

When you cum it is not as satisfying as it should be. It is but a relief of pressure rather than a gateway to ecstasy. There’s something missing, though to question what it is would be a benign pursuit for you already know the answer.

It is then, winded and shaking, that you come to the conclusion you’d been dreading.

You need to fuck Kim Taehyung… and then you’d figure out it why it is that your heart aches so.

The car’s hum permeates the air and settles on your skin unpleasantly, as if trapping you in its needly weight. Suffocating. There is no better word for it.

When his eyes flicker from the road to you, it is even worse. You hate that he looks good: styled hair, pressed clothes, expensive cologne. But what you hate most is that you don’t see any of it. Instead there is the image of him above you, cock sliding in as if nothing could fit better.

It isn’t silent from a lack of trying, but after the hundredth attempt at conversation you’d grown tired.

He has not regarded you once despite you wearing his favorite outfit (a favoritism you’d deduced when he glanced at you one too many when you’d last worn it). The corduroy atop his thighs becomes his handkerchief, more to wipe sweaty palms against than a piece of clothing.

When he makes a sharp right turn, your hand on the center console knocks against his.

He jumps but plays it off, turning off the blinker and pressing closer to the door than he had been.

You sigh. “Do I have some infectious disease I should know about? That’d be pretty bad for my career.”

He blinks at you, catches himself staring, then turns back to the road.

“No,” he answers plainly.

“You aren’t even gonna berate me for sleeping in this morning?” Tired from last night’s self-ministrations, you slept through your alarms, leaving him waiting in the car for over an hour. On a normal day, he would’ve spent the entire trip either glaring at you or complaining. He did neither.

“You must’ve been tired,” he said.

“Remember what happened last time I was sore and tired?”

He sucks a breath between his teeth, gives you an incredulous look of shock, then proceeds to pretend as if you’d said nothing.

In a series of losses, you consider that a win.

Emboldened, you lean across the controls and press your hand on his thigh, your face so dangerously close to his that you could smell the mintiness of his aftershave. You’d always liked the cleanliness in which he prided himself on. Smoking, he’d always joked, was his only flaw. When stressed, he had a tendency to hit a few sticks more than usual. It didn’t take a genius to surmise the reason as to why, despite the sun’s low place in the sky, you could smell that more-than-few on him. You were both figuratively and literally bad for his health.

He sneaks a glance down your chest, cleavage revealed by the low cut of your top. He’d always been so fond of your breasts, those soft curves of flesh that he spent so much time fondling when he had the chance to. He gulps before looking away.

“Oh, sorry,” you say, coyly. His grip on the wheel twitches as he contemplates removing your hand from his thigh but thinks otherwise, perhaps rationalizing that touching your hand in order to remove it was also a bad move in his plan to pretend you were but a figment of a mind tortured to want what it shouldn’t have.

The main road close to the company building appears before you, a heavy strip of crowded cars anxious to make it in time to their corporate rat living.

You glance downwards. “Did I make you hard?”

He makes a choking sound, knuckles white as he grips the steering wheel because the answer is yes, you had. The stiff texture of his pants only heightens the image of his cock struggling beneath, forming a tent you have to look away from lest it distract you from your mission. “I have to focus on driving.”

A pointed look is thrown his way as you gesture towards the windscreen. “We’re going to be stuck in this traffic for probably more than twenty minutes,” you say, untucking his button-up from his pants. Your hands press against his toned stomach, making a home beneath his shirt. “Aren’t you bored?”

“Out of the two of us, I don’t think I’m the bored one.” He turns to face you, putting his hand atop yours. “Did you really like it that much? Me touching you? I’m starting to think that your excuse this morning was a lie. You were probably just playing with yourself, am I wrong?”

“Half wrong,” you grin. “I wasn’t fucking myself this morning.” You press your lips against his ear, chest against his shoulder. “I was fucking myself last night.”

He curses, head thrown back at the notion. “Has anyone ever told you how blunt you are?”

“You do,” you say. “Constantly.”

“That’s because you are.”

“Then what does that make you?”

“A horny fuck, who, by some stroke of luck, got paired to work for an idol that’s somehow even more depraved.”

Though you laugh, relief surges through you at the familiarity of his bantering. “Define ‘depraved’.”

He pushes your hand to his waistband. “This,” he says, as if it is some grotesque and beautiful thing. “How badly I want you.”

You unzip his pants and untuck his cock from his briefs. He’s larger than you’d expected; long yet girthy. You run a finger down the appendage, catching on the prominent veins.

“God,” he hisses at the contact. “You’ve been such a slut recently, it was only a matter of time before you did this, huh? Touching my cock where anyone could see.”

The flesh of him is soft and warm beneath your fingertips. You squeeze the head then trail down to the base, cupping his balls.

He’s beautiful when he moans. His head tosses back, curls cascading over shut eyes as he attempts to move away from the pleasure all the while begging for you not to stop. A beautiful paradox, and you its orchestrator.

“Right there,” he groans. “Rub the head just like that.”

His commands are hypnotic in a way you deign to follow.

“Shit, you’re such a sub, aren’t you? You do everything I ask you to if it means you get a nice, thick cock.”

Despite your forwardness, you lacked much experience regarding the kinkier side of sex, though not from lack of trying. Perhaps it was the consequence of a homogenous industry where every individual was fearful in the face of social ruin if word got out that they were participant in this or that.

“Maybe, I am.” You shrug. “But right now–” you squeeze his cock “–you’re in my hands. And you only get to cum when I say you can.”

With that, you take your hands off him. The look in his eyes is almost comical, as if you’d divorced him, taken custody of his three children, and set his house ablaze.

“Fuck. I was close,” he pleads. “Please don’t do this. I need to cum. Please.”

“You sound so pretty when you whine but that isn’t good enough.” You pout. “You need to promise that you’ll stop being awkward around me.”

“Shit, fine, I’m sorry, okay? I just didn’t want to make things more weird than they already are.”

“See, I want to make things weird between us. So there’s really nothing for you to worry about.”

“You seriously don’t understand how much I think about fucking you on a daily basis. I wasn’t even purposely trying to ignore you, it’s just-” He runs a hand through his hair. “Whenever I see you I…” You wait for him to find his words only for him to say something entirely unexpected. “...Can I cum in your mouth?”

You snort. “Nope, you don’t deserve that.”

“Aw, man. This car was just deep cleaned.”

“C’mon, Taehyung, cum on your dashboard like a big boy.”

You continue your ministrations, tightening your fist around his length as you stroke him faster and faster. “You know you wanna cum for me, don’t you? Tae’s precious little idol.”

His reaction to the nickname you’d heard his colleagues call him was not missed by you.

“Fuck,” he groans, head tilting back. “Say that again.”

“What? Tae?”

His cock twitches. “I don’t know why, but I really like it when you say my name.”

You lean in to whisper. “Then I’ll make sure to scream it when you inevitably fuck me.”

His eyes blink white, head slamming into the headrest. His cock twitches, then releases. You try to catch most of the mess in your hands but some escape onto his shirt and, unfortunately for him, his dashboard.

“You know what you’re doing, hm? My little slut. Made me cum so fast, baby.” He condescendingly pats your head as you help him wipe down the few strings of cum that misaimed.

“Far shooter, huh?”

“Shut up,” he huffs. “What about you? With how much you’ve been chasing after me, you must’ve wanted me that bad.” He nips at your ear. “Let me touch you.”

You feel his teeth drag against your skin, from your nape to your collarbone. You’re aware of the brush of his lips, the warmth of his breath, and the way he is pressed so close against you. Across the console, he reaches to slip his hand beneath the band of your bottoms. It is a familiar motion, reminiscent of what happened on the couch that night.

He wastes little time as his finger glides into you with an embarrassing squelch. You feel the rough pad rub against your g-spot, amazed at the swiftness in which he’d found it. Your walls tighten around him when he inserts a second then third digit.

“You’re so fucking tight. I want to bury my cock into this slutty hole so badly, you don’t even know,” he groans into your neck. His hand roughly paws at your chest. In want of more, he lifts your shirt, baring your chest to the traffic. “Thank god for tinted windows.”

He pinches your nipples, tugging them until they’ve extended farther than you’ve ever tried to. “My perfect little fuckdoll. My good fucking slut. All for me– only for me.” Hand confined in the tightness of your trousers, every motion caused his palm to slap against your skin, perfectly blending pleasure and pain.

He continues to rapidly finger you until you feel that telltale drop in the bottom of your stomach. He holds you as you cum, body shaking in the small space of the passenger’s seat. The fledgling feeling in your gut erupts with the incandescent sparks of some other foreign emotion. You wonder if it is happiness, or perhaps some remnant of lust. But then he looks at you—eyes soft as he caresses your hair, trailing fingers to your nape—and you think that it is the beginning of something else entirely.

“You good?” His voice is faint as he pulls you to face him. His flickering gaze searches your expression for some sign of hesitation or regret of which you have none.

“Yeah, I’m good. You?”

“Same here.” He smiles. “Don’t blame me though if you have a hard time during practice.”

You punch his shoulder with a chuckle, serenity descending upon you in the afterglow of a cause of stress meeting its resolution.

After lunch you see a carton of orange juice sitting innocently on that couch, a small sticky-note attached to it. In clean handwriting, it read: ‘a peace offering’.

You laugh, stabbing the plastic straw into the carton.

You’d take it.

Kim Taehyung has always thought your beauty was the kind that accompanied devastation; attractive in a way that halted his breath and stymied his heart. Perhaps a bit too much for his sanity and his cock, which has been rubbed raw to the thought of you one too many times. You are much too pretty for his own good, and it has grown increasingly difficult to be around you without wanting to fuck you against every surface imaginable.

It’s made worse by the mask of nymph-like innocence that you wear around him, wearing those tight leggings and parading your pretty pussy for everyone to see. He knows you aren’t his. Knows it with all the confidence of blue skies and steady lakes, but there are times, strenuous times, where it is difficult to control the possessive nature he is chained by. When his co-workers mention how sexy you are in your latest comeback teasers he simply clenches his fists and stays quiet lest said fists pummel their faces. He isn’t a violent man by any means (and definitely wouldn’t stand a chance in a real fight, because, as his friends have said, he’d never do anything that could potentially ruin his pretty face) but he entertains the thought as a way to keep sane when forced to listen to their ramblings.

When he has to stand behind you during fansigns, he can’t help the bitter feeling that rises in his gut when you hold hands with fans he knows could never know you in the same intimacy that he does. When they talk about how much they love you, an indignant voice in his head fights back: do they know about all the pretty little lingerie you keep in the back of your closet? Do they know about how bad you are at hiding your moans when you play with your pretty pussy in hotel showers knowing that he’s waiting for you outside? Do they know the soft texture of your tits and the way your eyes roll back when he plays with your nipples just right?

It’s an irrational sort of jealousy, but he’s learned to bear it as part of the occupation. There are times, however, where it is much more arduous a task, such as the massage of last week and the car ride of yesterday.

The feeling is not one he is fond of; how at odds his desire to ruin you is with his one to have you ruin him. Such had been a constant in the past year. Blame proximity or his lowered standards of human decency after having worked with only the most heinous people in the industry – you were kind, even when you needn’t be, even when you shouldn’t have been. And it ached somewhere beneath his chest that you thought him deserving of it.

He knows such feelings are ones not meant for him to have, but he has long since been past the denial that it was only but a physical sort of affection. However, even with your initiation of yesterday’s tryst, he doesn’t allow himself to indulge in you in a manner less carnal; his gaze lustful as you prepare for a livestream.

You glance at him once as if sensing the shift in the air before you press ‘start’.

As your manager, he has to be in the room for most of your activities, even the boring ones – but he can think of a few ways to make it less so. For him and you.

You greet your fans with a laugh that is akin to sunlight bursting through foliage. “Of course I missed you guys, it’s why I’m doing this live right now.”

Your company-issued phone, to read and answer comments, is slid across the table with a note meant only for you: ‘Want to play a game, good girl?’

Though your eyes widen, you type your reply in the guise of looking through your fans’ messages, ever the professional. Your glance towards his phone is pointed and when he checks it he sees the notification of your text. ‘I don’t know what you’re planning, you horny fuck, but if you think I’m losing in any game then you’re on.’

There is little ceremony in how he drops to his knees to move underneath, cautious to keep silent. The table tall enough to situate himself. Oh, how he wishes he could see your reaction. He focuses on your voice: the hesitation in which you resume speaking; the hitch in your breath as he spreads your legs; the tremble in your tone as he places his hands on your thighs.

The sight of you beneath is lewd. Your underwear, a simple cotton gray piece, is already soaked. He’d always loved the color gray, especially because of how obvious it made wetness appear.

He allowed himself a moment to appreciate everything about you. The softness of your thighs. The stretch marks on your hips. The dotted marks that lined your legs. His nose grazes your knee, breathing in the saltiness of your sweat. How badly he wants to eat you up. To wholly consume you and spit you out in broken pieces, forced to crawl back to him in order to be fixed. It’s a horrible thought, he’s well aware, but he can’t help but be fixated on the idea that you might want that as well.

Your skin is as silken as he remembers, but touching it feels utterly different, stark raving mad; he leans into that sentiment, urgent in his need to pull you closer and kiss your thigh harder, desperately starved for something he could not yet name.

He imagines it difficult for you to read through the comments let alone reply to them when his hands are caressing your waist and playing with the garter of your underwear. Blood rushes to his cock at the sighs you release every time he teasingly dips his fingers past the fabric. You’re so pretty and perfect for him, his little slut.

Phone in hand, he sends: ‘Your pussy’s so wet for me already, baby. Do you want me to eat you out?’

It’s easy to surmise when you receive it, a light gasp disrupting your sentence.

He struggles to hold his laughter when your consent is given through a grab of his hair and a shove towards your crotch. Satisfied with your enthusiasm, his lips caress you above the fabric, catching against your clit but not wanting to give you what you want. Not yet.

He teases you for ten minutes, licking up and down your clothed cunt until the fabric is fully darkened – only then does he push it aside to expose your pussy lips to him completely. Having tested the patience of both you and him, he wastes little time in capturing your clit between his lips, suctioning onto it whilst swirling his tongue.

You spread your legs wider to give more access, allowing him to move from your clit to your tight hole, slowly edging his tongue inside it. Building up the pace, he begins fucking you with it whilst rubbing your clit with two fingers in quick circular motions.

He gathers his spit around his finger before pushing the moisture into you. You lewdly clench around the digit, sucking him deeper into your depths, just as he thought you would. You’re always so good for him. He could just picture your humiliated face as he slaps his cock around your cheeks, wiping your tears and his cum around your skin. He knows you’re a pretty crier, and he’s never wanted anything more than to see those tears be caused by him.

Another finger is pushed in. Then a third. But he knows you can take it – knows that you’d be able to take everything he gives you.

When your thighs begin to stiffen and you clench around his fingers—the tell-tale sign that you’re close to completion—he stops.

He shoots off another text. ‘What a horny fucking slut, getting fingered in front of her fans like this. I wonder what they’d think if they knew how you were really like. Just a pliant little bitch who’s always ready to slut herself out at her manager’s every whim. Don’t tell me you think you deserve to cum just because you want to?’

Above, he can hear your sardonic chuckles as your knuckles wrap against the table in obvious frustration.

“I know this was a short one, but I have to go practice. I’m sorry for leaving you guys hanging,” you say with blatant venom, kicking his shoulder beneath the table. “Bye!”

He pinches your thigh in retaliation.

Before you can kick him again, he stills your leg with a firm grip.

Accepting your loss with a sigh, you rush to turn the live off, gaping at him when emerges from where he’d knelt. “What was that for?”

He grins, gums showing. “Revenge for what happened in the car. I was scolded by upper management for bringing you late, y’know?”

You punch his shoulder. “At least I let you cum… asshole. This is the second time you’ve blue-balled me.”

“Good thing I prepared this, then.” In his hand is another carton of orange juice. “Peace offering?”

“If a thousand won juice is your form of a white flag then I must say you’re quite stingy.”

“Hey, you’re the rich one in our relationship.”

“Oh, so we have a relationship now?”

His smile drops slightly as he rubs his nape. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t think I do, actually.” Though you’re smiling, your eyes are serious, searching his for an answer that he knows he’s not yet ready to give. “I-”

He grabs your hand and places the carton in your grasp. “I’ll get you two orange juices next time, alright?”

‘Next time’, he thinks. It’s the closest thing to an answer he can give you.

The establishment of your newfound ‘relationship’ was one suffused with clandestine trysts in storage rooms and cars, and yet it had never gone past touching and tasting as if it were an unspoken rule. You sensed it in the hesitancy upon which he laid kisses across your neck and jaw, never moving upwards. There was a fragility to his movements that gave you pause as time went on and words left unspoken remained so. Taehyung was gentle even when he called you his whore, and what began as ways to relieve each others’ stress led to hours spent in the afterglow talking about anything under the weather.

What you appreciated most (even more than the times he’d go down on you for hours) were the rare glimpses into his thoughts when he’d let his guard down. His rants about how his friends sucked ass at gaming, him bringing the new mechanical keyboard he’d splurged on just to show off to you his custom-made keys, him quitting smoking when you nagged about the smell and how he subsequently would complain to you about withdrawals before having you suck him off to relieve his other urges.

You wanted to lurk upon every crevice of his mind, know every secret he held close, and you know he craved it just the same. You each felt the devastation of fear, hesitation; you shared moments lovely and small, sat beneath midnight stars in the back of his car, insignificant in the face of endlessness. A month in each other’s company and you’d grown to understand that you wanted more from him than carnality.

It is why it is no surprise to you to find his glare pointed towards the man you’re flirting with. In an effort to leave practice early to meet with friends, your hand lingers on your instructor’s arm, pleading desperation alongside a promise to work twice as hard the next day. Men are easy that way, and the next thing you know he gives you permission with a nod.

…And on the other hand, there are men like Taehyung.

“You really think you’re getting out of it that easily?”

You point at the emptied room. “Seems so.”

He scoffs with crossed arms, the definition of intimidation with his bangs casting shadows across his eyes. “You’ve been getting out of breath too quickly during dry runs.”

“I’ve been getting exercise through other means, don’t worry.” Your eyebrows wiggle.

“I’m sure your newly developed neck and hand muscles will help after hours of performing.”

“I think you’re just jealous,” you say.

His laugh is hollow, forced from the depths of some aching thing. “And why would I feel that?”

“Because you like me but you don’t want to admit it,” you say with a shrug. “And you use the whole ‘manager and idol’ thing as an excuse when really you’re just a pussy.”

There is little he can do to hinder the shocked guffaw that parts his lips at your blunt observation. “Confident, are we?”

“Very, actually.”

He shakes his head but smiles in exasperation. “What am I going to do with you?”

“A lot of things, I hope.” You wrap your hands around his shoulders, pulling him in closer.

“I thought you had somewhere to be.” His nose brushes against your neck, the warmth of his breath scattering goosebumps across your skin.

“My friends can wait,” you say. “I can bless them with the honor of my presence in another hour or two.”

“Oh, am I supposed to be honored that you’re choosing to spend time with me, then?”

“Don’t you know how charitable I am even if you can be kind of a dick sometimes. Or, well, all the time. But that’s just semantics.”

He hums in response, arms around your waist tightening.

“You never answered my question,” you remind him.

His brow raises. “And you never answered mine: do you really think I’m going to just let you play hooky?”

“Well, I was hoping to offer you something a little more fun than watching me exercise.” You trail your hand down his arm, nails scratching along his veins.

“Oh,” he scoffs. “Is that the same thing you were offering him?”

“I’m yours, aren’t I?”

He tilts your chin upwards. “You wanna be my object tonight, baby? Is that what you’re saying?” Taehyung tended to be all bark but no bite, but the embers lit beneath his pupils indicated that this time would be different.

“Is that even a question?” you reply.

You bite your bottom lip in anticipation, only to be met with: “Then do fifty jumping jacks. Now.”

“You’re joking, but I thought-”

“Objects aren’t supposed to think. They just do as they’re commanded... Or so your favorite erotic novel alpha males always say.”

You give him a pointed look. “Yeah, the key word being ‘erotic novel’, not ‘workout manual’.”

He holds his hands up beside his head in defense, making a face. “I’m doing this for you. And besides…” He takes a step towards you, caressing your chest. “We can always multitask.”

You groan but comply, though the feeling of doing that specific exercise is tantalizingly embarrassing when he’s watching you so closely.

“Sweating already?” He moves to stand behind you, observing from the mirror. “Let me help you.”

He stills your movement to reach around and unzip your hoodie, pulling the sleeves off your arms. Underneath, you’re only wearing a flimsy white shirt coated with sweat, leaving it transparent enough for Taehyung to see your red sports bra.

He presses his mouth to your ear and whispers, “Did I say you were finished, slut?” He laughs. “Don’t look surprised. What else could you be with your tits bouncing everywhere. The fact that you can’t even comprehend what I’m saying is just proving my point.”

You almost regret sharing with him your favorite romance books. Almost. If only because of the way your knees buckle at his degradation.

You continue the motions and Taehyung does little to disguise how he watches your chest as it bounces with every jump. With your arms outstretched, there is nothing to cover the jiggling weight.

Neither of you are keeping count but after two minutes he ceases your movement with a firm “stop”.

“You like playing games with me, don’t you? Want to play another one? I’ll reach into your panties and if you’re wet, you’ll be my personal little slut. Are you willing to take that bet, pretty girl?”

“Yes,” you say without further thought, and his hands dip into your leggings and past your underwear. You already know the answer, have known it since the moment he’d walked into the room with his heavy gaze on your body.

“Oh, you’re soaking, baby,” he purrs into your neck, his fingers caressing your folds but not applying the direct pressure that your humping hips seek. “Does your pussy like the thought of being owned by me?”

His hands still with the promise of moving only when you reply. “Yes,” you cry. “I want to be your personal… I want to be your personal slut. Just please… Touch me.”

“You think you deserve to be touched for your pleasure? Are you forgetting what you’re supposed to be doing right now?”

He retracts his hand but you rush to grip his wrist. “Tae, please. I need it so bad.”

“Need what, baby?” he coos, ever softened when you use his nickname.

“I need you to finger me. To make me cum.”

To your surprise he complies, shoving two into your snatch. His fingers scissor you, stretching you out. He pushes another in, all three pushing in and out of you, making disgusting and lewd sounds.

“Aren’t idols supposed to be pure and innocent? I’m ruining you, aren’t I, slut? What would your precious fans think if they knew you liked being a whore for your manager? They’d probably lose all respect for you. Your latest stage outfit was a pretty little number too. Probably had all your fans jerking their little dicks off to your fancams. I just know if I searched your name up the first thing I’d see is some asshole doing a cum tribute to you.” He laughs. “Too bad for them they’ll never know just how tight and wet your pussy is, because I own it now, right?”

“You’ve always owned me– Fuck!” You yelp when Taehyung bites your neck. Your makeup artists were definitely going to have a hard time covering that up. “I love the way you control me so easily.”

“If you weren’t such a brat all the time it’d be a lot easier.” The speed in which his fingers met your g-spot increased. “You always seemed so uptight. Did you ever expect that you’d get played around with by your manager? The other staff members would love to know that you’re into this kinky shit. Especially your fans. Everyone’s always talking about how sexy you are but I bet you know that, don’t you? You thrive on it – want everyone to jerk off to you.”

To your dismay, he pulls out. “You were complaining about your sore throat earlier, weren’t you? I know a good solution for that.”

He tugs you by the back of your neck, moving you closer to his crotch. He pulls down the zipper, releasing the familiar length of his cock. You run your hands from the tip to his balls as if driven by pure instinct, wrought only with the need for proximity. Taking the head into your mouth, you slowly begin to swallow him until it reaches your throat. As he’d taught you, you let him deepthroat for a bit before releasing him with a gasp for air.

Patting your head, he encourages you to keep going. “What a perfect fleshlight. Born to suck cock.”

It is an all-consuming task, leaving room for little else in your mind as you make sure to avoid your teeth from scraping him as well taking note of when to suction and when to draw him deeper into your throat.

He groans with every ministration. “Doing so good for me, baby. Always my perfect slut, so good at taking dick. It’s like you were meant for it. Meant to have your throat pussy be my cum dump. At this point, this should be your job.” You look up and meet his eyes, a twinkling obsidian shade. “Ready for your medicine?”

He grabs the back of your head and takes control of the pace, roughly fucking himself with your throat. His moans grow louder, taking full advantage of the sound-proof nature of the room. You could clearly hear the sounds of your choking, spit drooling down the sides of your mouth as you struggle to keep with his rhythm. The scent of his cock sends you into overdrive, and, though you’re already wet, you feel yourself gush beneath, your pussy clinging to your underwear.

You know well enough, from his pretty groans and tightening grip, that he was about to cum.

“There you go, pretty girl. Your favorite meal. Drink it all up like the depraved cum dump you are.”

You swallow, and gasp, and swallow again. His cum, sticky and bitter, lingers in the back of your throat as you choke for a decent breath of air. It shoots into your mouth, spilling all over your tongue and lips, dripping down the sides. You gag at the taste, coughing up the creamy fluids onto the floor. Your hands tighten on his thighs, struggling to steady your lightheaded self. When he releases your hair from his grasp, you stumble back onto his crotch, heaving breaths against his softening cock.

His thumb wipes sweat from your forehead. “What are you doing, baby?” He grabs the top of your head, forcing you to look into his eyes as tears stream down yours. “That isn’t what sluts do, and I thought we already established that that’s all you are. Objects listen to their owners, don’t they?”

“I-I’m sorry,” you whine, not really apologetic when you know that he knows that cum isn’t exactly your favorite flavor.

He tugs at your hair, lifting you back onto your knees. “You’re acting like I care about what dumb little brats like you want – I don’t. Lick my cum off the floor. Now.” He grins. “And don’t forget that you got some on my boots, too.”

You hesitate, eyeing the strings of white that decorate the wooden panels and the black of his shoes.

“Consider this as punishment for trying to skip out on your exercises.” He crosses his arms, looking down at you with an unimpressed countenance. “So, now, be a good girl and lick my fucking cum off the floor.”

You move your face to the ground and give it kitten licks similar to how you liked to tease Taehyung’s cock. The taste is salty, and you shudder to wonder when the floor was last cleaned. You look up, hoping that that act of obedience is enough to quell his thirst for domination over you. It isn’t.

“I said, clean it up,” he hisses. “Do I really have to grab the back of your head for this? Yeah?” He pushes your head to stay close to the floor. “Don’t just stay there like a stupid bitch. Open your fucking mouth, let me see that tongue. Yeah… There we go, baby.”

You do as he says, collecting his spilt cum.

“All of it,” he groans, watching you debase yourself for his entertainment. “The boots, too.”

You move towards his feet that are impatiently tapping against the floor. Your tongue hesitantly drops out of your mouth, trying to touch as little of it as possible.

Unexpectedly, he presses his shoe against your lips, causing you to deeply lick the length of it in surprise. “You’re not doing a thorough enough job, slut. Don’t disappoint me.”

Once you’ve deemed it spotless you look up to face him. “Is that good enough, your highness?”

He snorts, helping you stand up after having knelt for the better half of an hour. “You mean, was that good enough for you to finally cum?” He reaches between your legs to smack your sensitive pussy, aiming for your swollen clit. “Still want more, baby?”

You nod, whimpering in pain at the unexpected hit.

“Sluts are always horny, aren’t they? Since I’m so good to you, I’ll let you hump against my boot to relieve yourself.”

“Oh, fuck you-”

He grabs you by the chin, tugging you to his face. “Don’t try to hide that you’re an insatiable slut now. I know exactly who you are and what you want. And I know that what you want is to be humiliated like this. Now be a good bitch and fuck yourself on my shoe.”

What’s more humiliating is the speed in which you position yourself below him as you slowly squat down until your crotch brushes against the hard tip. Your hands grip his trousers as you begin humping his boot. You struggle to find enough stimulation, still wearing your underwear and leggings. “Tae,” you whine. “It’s not enough.”

Frustration makes way for pleasure when Taehyung angles his foot up just right. Your moans are relentless now as you buck your hips wildly without rhyme or reason. You are simply a vessel controlled by pleasure, exactly as he wants you.

“Yeah, rub your clit against my shoe like the well-trained slut that you are.” He spits on your face, the fluid dripping down your nose and onto your lips. “You know that I don’t care about your pleasure, right? You’re just an entertaining toy to me. Who owns you?”

“You,” you whine. “You own me, Tae.”

“Then cum, baby.”

Your orgasm is an all-consuming force that possesses your body. It starts at your stomach, that incendiary pulse, before you feel it between your thighs. You can tell that you’ve lost all bodily control by the numbness in your hands and feet and how one second you are humping Taehyung’s shoe and the next you’re laying flat on the ground, his figure towering over you.

Your pussy is still attached to his shoe, and, as if it is an unconscious desire, you continue to move against it until your senses return, reminding you of the pain that overstimulation causes.

He kneels down and lifts his hand, and you aren’t sure what he’s doing until you feel his fingers brush against your cheek, gently wiping away a tear. “You did so well for me, today.”

Rivers trail down your face as you shake your head with what was left of your strength. “I need more.”

“Whatever you want, baby.”

You meet his gaze. “Tae, I want you to kiss me.”

He blinks, gulps, and stutters, “What?”

“I want you to kiss me.”

Despite everything you’d done together you’d still yet to share that one intimate act. Perhaps because doing so would make everything feel so much more real.

You caress the side of his face, watching as he watches you, hesitant to make the first move. The silent anticipation weighs upon you like honey, dense yet saccharine, and you slowly move closer and closer until you feel his breath on your skin. His eyes flicker from your lips to your eyes and back.

“You can kiss me already, you know,” he mutters.

“I’m not the one scared of my feelings,” you say. “I can wait for you as long as it takes.”

And so he does.

When you kiss it simply feels right. His head tilts as you deepen it, licking his bottom lip. Your hands run through his hair, the perm he’d kept when you complimented it one too many times. You kiss him until his bottom lip swells and he kisses you until your mouth is numb. He wrestles your top over you, kissing down your arms before meeting back at your mouth.

There are touches that feel like beginnings and touches that feel like endings, but this one felt so awfully far from either, tucked perfectly between as if whispering of times past and times present. It feels like comfort, his hand on your neck, a grip so gentle that the promise of it was what had you gasping for breath. It is new yet familiar all the same, and when he kisses you harder—pressed against you as if in fear of letting go—you kiss him back with all the same intensity.

When you break apart, he steadies himself with hands wrapped around your waist, hair covering his face as he looks down with astonished laughter. You think that he is gorgeous in a way that makes your heart ache, but it is when he looks up, noticing your admiration, that your breath catches.

You collide once more and there are no more questions, no more waiting.

He lifts his shirt off and tosses it to the side before draping his body across the length of your own. Though the floor is hard against your back, you’re distracted by the rigidity of his muscles pressed against you.

“Do you have a condom?” you remind him.

He curses, standing up. He almost trips over himself in his rush to his bag, rummaging through it for the plastic wrapper. He makes a victorious sound when he finds it, holding it above his head. “Got it!”

You laugh into your hand. “Hurry up, you loser.”

He gets back on top of you, pressing kisses around your face. He kicks off his pants until he’s as naked as you are before positioning himself above your hole.

“Is this okay?” He rubs the head of his cock against your clit.

“More than okay,” you say.

The heat of him sliding into your pussy sparks kindles in your gut. He’s rough yet gentle. Too fast yet too slow. A paradox of sensations encapsulated by the longing gaze in his eyes and the torturous grip he has on your nipples.

He pulls out until only the tip is in before slamming his hips against yours, balls smacking your ass with a clapping sound. He repeats the motion until you’re drooling, rocking back and forth.

“You feel so good,” he moans, moving to grip your tiger-striped thighs. He lowers you until he’s buried balls deep into your warmth, and you can feel his hard length spasming as he adjusts to the tightness. “Feels so much better than I could’ve ever imagined. No one compares to you, baby.”

Despite the thin layer of protection you can feel every vein rub against the soft walls of your cavern. It deliciously fills you up until you’re delirious, drowning in the feeling.

“How many cocks have you had before me?”

“Two.” A friend and a boyfriend – neither of which mattered when the only cock you could think of was Taehyung’s.

“What I would give to have been the one to take your virginity.” He sighs. “Guess I’ll just have to fuck the memory of them out of you.”

His hips begin to thrust into you with a pace you can barely comprehend. The head of his cock reaches so deep, much farther than any cock or toy has ever gone. He pushes into you as if you were a pussy pocket crafted for his pleasure, holding your thighs to your chest in a mating press.

Your breath hitches with every upwards thrust as you struggle to speak. Words swim in your head, a thousand lines of ink dotting across pages like stars that twinkle in and out of existence, unable to catch them before they disappear.

He bites the lobe of your ear, tugging it. His hands caress the entirety of your body with wild abandon, struck with the need to feel you – to ensure that you are really the one beneath him. You, the gravitas of which he orbits.

When you begin twitching underneath him he focuses on hitting your g-spot, lessening the speed. He pulls out then slams back in, repeating it over and over and over. He taps your clit in rapid succession, occasionally rubbing before landing a hard smack against the nub. His other hand goes to your neck, applying pressure to the sides of it. Your mind goes blank. Your legs go numb. Then somewhere between your legs you feel it.

The orgasm is euphoric. You thrash in his hold, the pleasure all too much for your mind and body to take. The feeling is everywhere.

“That’s it, baby.” His thrusts begin to lose rhythm as he chases his own release in wild abandon. “So good for me. Mine. All mine.”

He cums into the condom with one final jerk, burying himself as deep into you as he could. The overstimulation is just enough to not be too painful as he stays inside you for a few moments more, barely able to pull himself out of your warmth.

His eyes are blown wide as he flops to the ground beside you, tying then tossing the condom to the side. “That was…”

“I can’t believe we waited that long to fuck.” The punch you land on his shoulder is weak.

He carries your limp body to the couch he’d massaged you on that fateful month before and gently lays your head against a cushion. Brushing a few strands of hair away from your forehead, he places a kiss on your temple. It’s gentle.

“How are you feeling?” He slips beside you until you’re laying side by side and nudges his nose against your shoulder like a cat seeking attention. “Was I too much?”

“No, it was really good, trust me.” Try as you did, there weren’t words in your vocabulary that could sufficiently explain what you had just experienced.

His eyes flicker the length of figure as if attempting to convince himself that he, indeed, had not accidentally fucked your body to the point of destruction. He pouts but sighs, taking your word for it.

Abashed in the afterglow, he asks once more, “You know I didn’t mean most of what I said, right?”

“Most?” You grin. “So what did you say that you did mean?”

“I’m sure I called you pretty once or twice,” he grumbles, burying his face in your neck.

“You already know that I like it,” you assured him. “You’re always so good to me, Tae.”

His eyes soften as he laughs, the melody of it soothing. “It’s because it’s you. And I like you.”

“If I had known that the way to get you to admit your feelings for me was to fuck you then I would’ve done it ages ago.”

There’s a long pause as he composes himself. His hair tickles your neck, his arm a gentle weight around your stomach, and you feel the warmth of skin not your own.

“Shut up.” His ears are red as he flicks your forehead with faux nonchalance. “Is that all you’re going to say?”

Dizzy in the moment, you reach up to cup his face and kiss him. He meets your lips with a gentle eagerness, trailing his fingertips across your chest and along the grooves of your collarbones.

“I like you, too,” you say. “But I also really, really hate you. I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.”

He laughs, pecking your shoulder. “Good thing I’m here to massage you then.”

thank u for reading!! <3 if u liked it let me know ! : ✉

#taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfic #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfic #bts fic #taehyung scenarios #taehyung imagine #bts scenarios #bts x reader #taehyung x y/n

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bangtanficsforyou · 5 months

Text

They Reject You (maknae line)-03

Pairing: maknae line x reader (fuckboi! Jimin x Reader, Co-worker Taehyung x Reader, Idol Jungkook x Reader)

Warnings: swear words here and there.

Word count: 20K (approx)

A/N: long long long asf! (There's author's note at the bottom too).

Park Jimin

Jimin may have been very determined while pledging that he will make things right but right now, he's utterly confused and clueless.

How exactly does he make things right?

If he were to go by the way movies suggest, he should be sending you chocolates and bouquets of flowers. But the question is, will that do? Will that be enough? Can hurting someone emotionally be fixed by something material?

He doesn't know.

Oh, that's another thing. In recent days, Jimin's mind has been throwing questions at him which he has no answers to. Which, needless to mention, has been frustrating him to no end.

He feels like there's a lot he needs to figure out before taking any action. Because lord knows he doesn't want to mess up again and given his history he has a habit of doing exactly that over and over again.

The question that has been bugging him the most is; why does he even want to fix things with you?

It's a question Jimin wholeheartedly avoids thinking about. Because he doesn't have an answer and thinking about this particular question makes him feel a little too uncomfortable.

However, to him, the question also feels like a big empty blank that he needs to fill in order to make sense of what he should do next. Almost as if, if he figures out this one thing, he will have all his answers.

Which again, doesn't make sense to him. How can figuring out one thing give answers to the rest? But again, he should begin somewhere. Which obviously isn't going to be answering the big question.

Hence he does what he has been doing for the past few days; searching for ways to apologise on YouTube.

It's quite obvious that his YouTube searches haven't been very successful. But in his defence, it isn't Jimin's fault. It's YouTube's.

Almost every video that YouTube suggests as a response to his search, has this implication that the girl being apologised to, is the lover of the person seeking forgiveness.

Huh?

But that's so not the case. You're not his lover.

At some point, Jimin got so frustrated that he went on a mini rant to Taehyung, about how this is the 21st century and how a boy and girl need not always have a romantic relationship. And it's while he's ranting via text that he is hit by the brilliant idea of inviting Taehyung over. After all, if there's someone who's better than Jimin when it comes to the ladies, it's Taehyung.

Half an hour later, Jimin couldn't rush to the door any faster when the bell rang.

Taehyung greets the troubled boy with a scoff of disbelief. "Never seen you this excited over my arrival, ever."

Jimin is the least bit interested in paying attention to his best friend's teasing. "You gotta help me. It's already been three days and I haven't been able to figure anything out."

"It's about making up to that girl, right?" On receiving a nod from Jimin, Taehyung continues, "What was her name again?"

"Y/N."

"Right, Y/N," Taehyung makes a note to himself, having a hunch it's a name he will hear quite often. "So where exactly are you stuck?"

Jimin leads his friend to the couch so that Taehyung can have a look at the screen. "Just look at the results. There are literally thousands of responses but not one that's of use. What's the point of having internet if it can't help you when you need?!"

Taehyung snickers. "Yeah, you did go on a half an hour rant about it via text."

Jimin huffs at the way Taehyung seems to not share the same level of frustration as him. But alas, maybe him being in a light mood is a good thing after all. That way Taehyung can think optimally and come up with a solution and then Jimin can finally have a good night's sleep.

Gosh when Jimin thinks about it, it sends shivers down his spine. He really needs to sleep.

"Great! You know all about it, so now get on with it," Jimin speaks with a firm nod of determination and turns his body ninety degrees so that he is entirely facing Taehyung.

And then just keeps staring.

Taehyung stares back for a second or two and then bursts out laughing. He laughs so hard, that his ears miss the questions Jimin throws his way, querying about the cause of his laughter. He laughs so hard, that he has to place a pillow against his stomach because it has started hurting. He laughs so hard that it takes him a total of five minutes to stop.

When he does stop laughing, he utters a sentence that sends Jimin into a similar laughter fit.

"You're so in love."

Or maybe wait.

Jimin doesn't laugh.

Jimin blinks at Taehyung blankly and then scoffs in annoyance. Taehyung can't be serious. "I can't believe you're in the mood of making jokes when I'm so stressed."

"Oh, I can assure you, I'm not joking," Taehyung shakes his head with a chuckle, denying Jimin's words. "You're definitely in love."

Jimin pauses. He doesn't like how sure Taehyung seems to be of his words. It makes Jimin realise that Taehyung isn't joking. Taehyung really thinks Jimin is in love.

Huh.

"Don't you think I'd know if I was in love?"

Taehyung snorts. "Clearly not."

Now Jimin's curious. "What makes you so sure of your words?"

"Hmm, let's think for a moment," Taehyung responds, pretending to think deeply for a moment. "You have been worried sick, haven't been behaving like yourself and are throwing tantrums like a five-year-old kid. All because a girl hasn't been talking to you–"

"That could simply mean she's a very good friend to me," Jimin counters even before Taehyung can finish his sentence.

"Well, you don't kiss your friends while drunk."

Jimin shuts up at that, not because he agrees with Taehyung's statement but because he needs a moment to figure out what to reply to that. He needs to think of something that is a justifiable reason for why he had kissed you in his drunken state of mind.

Unfortunately, the best he comes up with is; "I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk. Plus, me kissing someone shouldn't be news, drunk or not."

Taehyung nods. "Right, that's your thing. Kissing and sleeping around."

For the first time in his life, Jimin feels an odd sensation in his chest at the mention of his player lifestyle. He can't place why (another thing he can't figure out, yes) but for the first time he wishes these words were not used to describe him. But admittedly, that's who he is. It's only normal to describe him by who he is.

Jimin keeps quiet as a sign of letting Taehyung know that he can go on.

"But surprisingly enough, since Y/N has stopped talking to you, you haven't fooled around with anyone," Taehyung squints his eyes, looking like a detective who's trying to solve a complicated riddle. "Wonder why that might be."

Jimin misses the sarcastic tone completely because he's taken aback by his friend's words. It's only now that he realises that he indeed, has not fooled around with anyone in the last week or so.

It's true that he has been going to parties and have been getting drunk and have been doing what he usually does. Except for one thing, it seems. Hooking up.

Oddly enough, the thought of hooking up with someone didn't even occur to him. It's not like he restrained himself or something. It's like he forgot that aspect of his life, entirely.

What the fuck.

Taehyung silently watches the realisation play out on Jimin's face. It's entertaining, to say the least. His sweet fuckboy of a friend is in love and has zero clue about it. How sweet.

He only hopes Jimin comes to his senses while this denial is still sweet and not when it's all bitter and sour. But looking at the way Jimin is struggling, one thing is for sure and that is, he isn't going to get his 'happy realisation' just yet.

"Your bulb will take time to light up," Taehyung interrupts Jimin's thoughts, "Let me just help you with the apologising thing."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has been standing in front of your door for five minutes now. With a huge flower bouquet at that. Because according to Taehyung:

"It's not what you give that matters, it's the thought you put into it. It could be flowers, it could be chocolates–yes I know, at the end of the day they are mere materials. But what's wrong with that?

You've gotta start somewhere. What's important is that you show her that you have realised your mistake, you're sorry and that you'd never do something like that ever again. Sending gifts is not all. It might not earn you her forgiveness but it shows that you're trying and that's something."

Hence, despite not considering sending gifts as an option at first, here Jimin is, doing exactly that. But then it's not like he could come up with a better idea himself and he thinks Taehyung is right, he should at least start somewhere.

But he wanted to make it as meaningful as he could. Which is why he did a little research and showed up here himself. He needs to do just one last thing, press the calling bell.

He sighs and tells himself that there's no point in delaying it, the sooner he does it, the better. Plus, it only means that he will be able to see you after another three-day stretch.

The thought of seeing you again, does it for him. He presses the bell and with a bated breath, waits for you to open the door.

Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long. You swing the door open and Jimin is relieved that your reaction on seeing him is that of surprise and not that of disdain. He would have run in the opposite direction and would have been too ashamed to face you had that been the case.

Despite not running away, Jimin seems to have lost his capability to talk, for all he does is stare at your face. It gets to the point where you have to be the one to ask him what he's doing at your doorstep.

Jimin looks away as soon as he snaps out of it and remembers what he's here for. He still doesn't speak and just pushes the bouquet in his hands towards you and urges you to take it.

It's not like you hadn't noticed the bouquet, it's unmissable really. It's this big, gorgeous arrangement of pink roses and the lighting of the hallway falls on the flowers in a way that makes it look like a portrait. When Jimin tries handing over the bouquet to you, you're once again taken by surprise and out of instinct you take hold of the bouquet without a second thought.

The moment Jimin knows that you have the bouquet, he takes a few steps back, bows to you and takes off.

Well, guess he did run away, after all.

You don't even get the time to question him as to why the sudden flowers as you stand there for a moment until you're sure that Jimin isn't coming back. With a confused sigh, you head back into your apartment.

"I should put them in water," you mumble to yourself and rest the bouquet on your centre table.

However, it's at this very moment that your eyes land on a piece of paper that seems to have been folded with great care and has been kept in such a way that it isn't visible from the front but only from the top.

With a small frown of curiosity, you take the paper out with your fingers. On unfolding, you find a small printed note on the left side and a handwritten note on the right.

The left side of the note read: "Pink roses signify gratitude, admiration and appreciation."

The right side of the note read: "You're not the stupid one, I am."

There's a brief moment where you are clueless and you have to think as to what Jimin could possibly mean. However, it doesn't take long for you to figure it out as you're hit with the memory of letting Jimin know how he has made you feel for a very, very long time.

One particular line sticks out and you have a hunch that his note refers to that.

"I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn’t even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve.”

Huh.

Is...Is Jimin apologising?

No way.

After that day you had thought Jimin would either just stop talking to you or would just show up a few days later as if nothing ever happened. Never had you considered that he would choose to apologise. But apparently, that's exactly what he has decided on.

Wow. This is way more surprising than the sun rising in the west.

You do not doubt that he must have taken the help of some of his friends but that's only fair. You can imagine how hard it must be for someone like Jimin to apologise to someone.

You shake your head in amusement and bring a vase filled with water to place the flowers in.

Honestly, you hadn't thought much about Jimin since that day. The way you felt lighter after saying what you had wanted to for a long time, was incredibly freeing. You were also proud of yourself for finally standing up and for sticking to your decision to cut him off. It made you wish you had done it sooner.

But now that Jimin is apologising, in his own way, you are a tad bit surprised that it doesn't throw you into a mental debate. That you don't have to battle yourself on what to do.

Things are pretty clear in your head.

You forgive Jimin.

You had forgiven him long before he even sent you the flowers. With your bottled-up emotions out of the way, it gave you the clarity you needed to see things for how they were.

You had always had a weak spot for Jimin. Jimin, not so much. You were just another girl to him. But the thing with having weak spots is that they make you vulnerable.

But Jimin is Jimin. He has no clue about these kind of things. Does he? For you, to expect Jimin to understand the sensitivity of the matter, was basically setting yourself up for disappointment from the get-go.

It's the same as looking for a mango in a banyan tree. It's fruitless.

That does not mean, that you blame yourself. When emotions that are beyond your control, get involved, the practical mind is forced to take a back seat. Romantic affection is for sure one such feeling where one tends to lose their thinking and decision-making capabilities.

You forgive Jimin. You also forgive yourself.

Does that mean you'd be okay with being friends with Jimin, again? No, you cannot bring yourself to do that.

The trust and faith you had put in him has been broken and that's enough of a reason for you to move on.

So what is Jimin to you, now?

Someone you still have a weak spot for because it's not like you wake up one day and suddenly all your feelings you harboured for a person disappears. But you know you want to move on. You know you do not wish to go back to sharing the same dynamic with Jimin ever again.

And this time your decision does not come from a place of hurt, anger or frustration. This time it comes from a place of clarity and acceptance, which is also why it doesn't seem difficult to follow through with your choice.

Nevertheless, you do appreciate Jimin giving you flowers. Although, you think there was no need for it.

For a brief moment, you contemplate if you should be texting a thank you to him but then decide otherwise when you remember that you have blocked him. Even if it's for the short span of two minutes to send a text, you don't think you're ready to unblock him just yet.

For the time being you simply settle for putting the vase at the top of one of your drawers and taking good care of them.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The next day it was a bouquet of white flowers with a note that read:

I'm sorry; on the left and I know flowers won't earn me your forgiveness but I'm trying; on the right.

It once again was Jimin at your doorstep and once again, before you could say anything, he had decided his job was done as soon as the flowers were in your hands.

You were too flabbergasted as you had thought that the whole giving you flowers thing was only a one-time thing. You didn't think Jimin would show up for a second time, just the day after, to give you another massive bouquet.

Maybe you should have seen the same thing happening on the third day but somehow you didn't and were just as surprised, if not more, when Jimin showed up with another bouquet on the third day.

Before you could say anything, Jimin was gone.

Which is exactly why you now find yourself unblocking his contact.

You: hey

You: just letting you know I appreciate the flowers but you do not need to send them anymore

You: I forgive you

Jimin is on the phone with Taehyung getting an earful about his cowardness and running, when he receives your text.

"I'm telling you, this flower thing is not going to work. She hasn't even tried to talk to me"

"From what I have heard you are the one who has never allowed her to even open her mouth and–"

"Hold on, someone texted me," Jimin interrupts Taehyung solely to avoid getting called out for the umpteenth time. However, his eyes almost fall out of his sockets when he sees that it's you. "Tae, Y/N texted me!"

Taehyung, too, is surprised to hear this. "What did she say?"

Jimin takes a deep breath, his nostrils flaring as he fills his lungs up with as much air as possible. "Right, I will open her messages."

When he does read the words you have sent him, he is even more surprised. But even more so, he is relieved. Gosh, he feels like he could cry tears of joy.

"She forgave me," Jimin speaks in a tone that is a little too loud for Taehyung's ears.

However, Taehyung doesn't protest as his friend's words seem more important at the moment. "Are you serious? She did? What did she say?"

"She said that she appreciates the flowers and that I need not send them to her anymore and that she forgives me."

Taehyung pauses for a moment and then grins brightly, the relieved and excited tone of his friend making him feel happy. "Then what are you doing fucker? Text her back, you idiot."

Jimin nods but then responds verbally when he remembers that Taehyung is over the phone and not with him in his room. "I'll text her back."

Saying so, he ends the call with Taehyung and starts typing.

Jimin: Thank you

Wait.

Thank you?

Should he say thank you? Is that the right response? But is sending a simple thank you good enough?

He doesn't think so.

Quickly deleting the typed words, he begins to think of a better response.

If not thank you, then what? How about 'How have you been?' No, no, no. That sounds way too casual.

He should send something that appears to be cool and that doesn't make things awkward. At the same time, he should text something that leaves room for a conversation. A proper one.

Geez, texting is difficult.

What if he tries teasing you like he did before everything happened? No, that would make it look like he never took the matter seriously.

Should he...should he just be uncool and be honest for once?

Should he just let you know that he feels like a bag of stones has been lifted off his chest and that he can breathe again? That he feels like he can think properly, again?

That might be too much.

But maybe he can just try letting you know that he's incredibly grateful for your forgiveness without sounding cheesy? Yeah, he can definitely do that.

Jimin: Thank you.

Jimin: that word isn't enough but that's the best I have got

Jimin: I am incredibly grateful and I promise I won't make you regret your choice.

When you read his texts a few minutes later, you're rather surprised. Is Jimin saying these things? There's no way.

But then you come to a conclusion that, there indeed is no way. Jimin must have made a friend of his type out these words. Now, that makes a whole lot of sense.

You chuckle at the thought and react to his messages with a thumbs up and leave it at that.

The moment Jimin sees you reacting to his messages, he types out another message, one that he has delicately crafted in his mind. Something light that hopefully will lead to a proper conversation.

Jimin: How have you been?

Your phone pings and you notice Jimin's text. Something uncomfortable churns in your stomach at his words. Jimin most likely thinks things are back to normal and that you two will once again bicker and joke around in no time.

Guess, you need to break it to him.

You: I've been fine

You: but I would rather have us not go back to the way we were

Jimin is already in the middle of forming another text that conveys that things won't be the same and that he'd do better but his heart literally breaks into pieces when he reads the next text.

You: I don't think we should be in contact anymore

You: it's a proven fact it doesn't do either of us any good 😂

You: especially me.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has decided to watch a movie. Not just any movie, the fault in our stars. Because he needs something to make him feel sad. Correction; he needs something that he is consciously aware of, to make him feel sad.

It's much much more annoying when you get sad and heartbroken over something and yet you cannot explain why you feel that way. Imagine suddenly getting stabbed by invisible knives that you can't see but can only feel. Yeah, it feels the same.

But who cares anyway? Jimin is watching a movie that will make him plenty sad and unlike you, it won't have him feeling like someone who hasn't been in touch with his emotions for ages.

Taehyung munches on his popcorn slowly, his focus periodically shifting between Jimin and the TV screen.

Taehyung knew something was up the moment Jimin texted him asking if he would like to watch The Fault in Our Stars. For the people who don't know, Jimin does not watch sad movies, like ever. Because irrespective of how much of a fuckboy he is, he is a huge softie on the inside (which is actually very cliche of him). But as his fuckboy-ness would have it, he absolutely hates crying.

Taehyung does not believe that Jimin does not cry or that he tries to keep his tears at bay. Because from the few times that he has seen his friend crying, he knows that he isn't someone who's good at holding his tears back. So no, Jimin does cry and when he does, he cries like a baby. However, what Jimin ensures is that he does not cry in front of anyone.

But here's Jimin, crying in front of Taehyung.

This boy is going to give me a headache, Taehyung thinks with a deep inhale as he once again shifts his focus from Jimin to the screen.

It must have been another fifteen minutes or so when he hears a small sniffle coming from his left. Huh, things haven't even turned that sad in the movie yet.

Taehyung looks at his friend only to realise his suspicions are right when he notices his friend subtly wiping under his eyes.

Taehyung takes hold of the remote and switches the TV off.

He has had enough.

Jimin looks at Taehyung with perplexed features but before he can ask a question, Taehyung is getting up from his seat to turn the lights on.

This makes Jimin quickly grab a few tissues and wipe at the corner of his eyes.

Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Sometimes I can't tell if you're a drama queen or a little kid."

Jimin looks at Taehyung with a clueless expression. As long as he pretends he has no clue what Taehyung is talking about, it should be good.

Taehyung simply scoffs and shakes his head in defeat. "Do you want to talk about it or should I just leave?"

This has Jimin facing away from Taehyung and he scowls at the centre table. "I have nothing to talk about."

"Cool then, I have some important work to do, I'll get going."

"Sure do that. Leave me. Everyone does, why shouldn't you?"

Ah. Drama queen, it is.

"So what Y/N left? Like did she leave you on seen or something? Is that why you're so sad and upset?" Taehyung guesses the possible cause of Jimin's state from his words.

Jimin wishes it was that simple. He honestly would give anything for Taehyung's words to be right, for that being the cause of his sadness. But if only.

Taehyung deduces that things might not be that simple when Jimin does not give a verbal answer and appears to become more sulky.

Taehyung makes his way to the couch and claims his previous seat next to Jimin. "What will you take to just tell me what went wrong? I know you're dying to let it out."

Jimin looks at his friend for a moment then suddenly reaches out to grab his phone from the table. He opens your texts and just places his phone in Taehyung's hands.

With a small concentrated frown, he takes a look at the screen and goes through the chats.

"So this is what has gotten you like this," he mumbles to himself. "Have you tried talking to her and telling her that you won't be repeating the same things again?"

Jimin shakes his head. "She never gave me the chance to do so."

Taehyung hums, deep in thought. "What do you want to do now?"

"I don't think it matters."

"It does. Now tell me what do you want?"

Jimin looks up at the ceiling with blurry eyes. "I think I want us to go back to the way we were."

Taehyung, although wanting to, does not show the disbelief he feels at Jimin's words. He keeps his composure calm so that Jimin does not feel uncomfortable. "What you're saying is you want to go back to the way you would annoy her and she would put up with it?"

Jimin's spirit lifts just a little bit when he remembers how things were before and he finds himself absentmindedly nodding.

"Which would also mean going back to the way you would keep sleeping around with people and then at the same time would make flirty comments towards Y/N?"

The tiny little corner of his mouth that had lifted, once again turns into a scowl as Taehyung's words register in his brain. It's as if he's knocked into his senses.

Noticing that Taehyung has successfully managed to grab Jimin's attention, he hopes he can only make Jimin see his point. "Honestly, Jimin have you ever realised where you went wrong? Or did you apologise to her solely because you thought that was what she wanted and that would have her back in your life?"

Questions. Another set of questions. Jimin could honestly scream. But something about Taehyung's gaze makes him unable to run away from the queries like he has been doing all this time.

He considers Taehyung's words for a moment and then mumbles in a small voice, "I don't know."

Taehyung hums, having guessed that answer.

"I just wanted to apologise to her because I know I have hurt her," Jimin keeps his tone soft and vulnerable. "I may not know all the ways in which I have hurt her but I know I should have respected her wishes and should have stopped flirting with her when she had asked."

"I may not know exactly how or why it affected her but I know it led her to be angry–" Jimin breaks off suddenly when a thought occurs to him and soon he looks even more ashamed, "–and they say all anger stems from hidden pain. If that's true then I must have caused her pain."

Taehyung releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. He wonders how his friend can be both stupid and smart at the same time and why exactly does his brain start working when the damage has already been done.

"So you realise that you have caused her some sort of pain?"

"I must have," Jimin agrees.

"Have you then tried figuring out what exactly she means to you?"

Jimin's tears have dried, thanks to the ongoing conversation that has distracted him enough to have the wheels of his brain running again.

"She's someone I care about a lot and someone I want in my life."

"As a friend?" Taehyung pushes.

Jimin nods.

Taehyung hums, "I think you really need to sit with yourself and think things through."

—-------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is dumb and Taehyung is loyal.

Which is why the latter finds himself in the middle of a party, waiting for you to arrive.

A week of Jimin moping and being a sullen child, had Taehyung take matters into his own hands. Jimin could not possibly figure things out by himself even if everyone around him could. Taehyung only hopes he will admit what has been brewing for a long time, when his feelings smack him right across the face.

Taehyung leans against the bar counter, his eyes hardly moving from the entrance as he waits for you to walk through the door.

It takes about another fifteen minutes of his eyes locked on the door, for you to finally emerge.

Taehyung relaxes a breath. He had to do a lot of digging to find a common friend and for him to convince that common friend to somehow convince you to come to the party. He wasn't sure if all of this would work, but now that you're here, success is a step closer.

He gives you five minutes to say your hi's and hello's and then, he's making his way to you.

"And you must be Y/N?"

You look at the guy who seems to know you by your name and frown when you don't recall ever having interacted with him. "And you must be?"

"Taehyung. Kim Taehyung."

Your brain clicks in realisation. Taehyung, a name you have heard Jimin mention many times. However, this is the first time that you get to put a face to the said name.

"I have heard of you," you nod as a feeling of reluctance takes over you. Why is Taehyung approaching you?

He smiles. "I'm not surprised by that."

You return his smile awkwardly and wonder what you should be saying next. "How do you know me?"

"Let's just say I have heard of you as well," his smile turns into a full-blown grin as if he's enjoying this.

"From Jimin?"

"Ah yes. We both have an idiot named Jimin in our lives."

You feel your traitor heart get curious at the confirmation. Taehyung knows of you from Jimin? Jimin talked about you to his friends? The thought of that catches you with surprise as you never thought you were ever important enough to him, for him to do that. You thought you were just another girl who fell for him. However, your curiosity is soon overtaken by the thought of him making light and fun of your feelings.

"That idiot, however, speaks highly of you, which is why I just could not miss the opportunity to speak to you," Taehyung quips, sensing the thoughts inside your head.

You look at Taehyung, wondering what to make of his words. You just find it difficult to believe that Jimin speaks highly of you. One speaks highly of the people they respect and well—no, you don't want your mind to wander there.

"So you're here speaking to me, to verify the things Jimin has said about me?" You keep your tone light, playful and teasing, so as to not come off as rude. While, on the inside, you're really confused as fuck as to what to make out of this. Does Taehyung not know of the recent changes in the dynamics between you and Jimin?

"Oh no, absolutely not," he shakes his head. "I do not doubt a thing Jimin has said about you. I'm only here out of sheer curiosity and with the intent to get to know you better."

And some ulterior purposes. That part he leaves unspoken.

You observe him for a moment and relax a little when you realise that he seems genuine. You don't know, why he's here and what he wants from you, but you decide talking to him won't be of any harm.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is grumpy as fuck when he walks in and is greeted by the loud music that blasts through the speakers. Goodness, why did he enjoy partying, again?

He really wouldn't be here had it not been for Taehyung's constant nagging that he had something important to say, and that couldn't be done unless he attended the party.

Technically, his words made zero sense. Taehyung couldn't just say whatever important thing he had to say, over the phone? Apparently, according to him, he couldn't.

He prays to whatever god is out there, for the sake of Taehyung that he finds him soon.

The universe, however, has other plans.

Jimjn spots you before he spots Taehyung. He sees you smiling wide and even in the dimmed lights, he can see the way your eyes shine with amusement and joy. As selfish as it is, Jimin feels any amount of hope he might have had, leave at the sight. You're clearly doing fine without him. A part of him wishes you weren't.

It feels eerily similar to the time when he had spotted you on his way to class.

But then he realises you are with a guy. A strange emotion fills him, one that he believes he hasn't felt before, ever. He realises he's jealous. He's so jealous of the lucky bastard who's getting to make you laugh and with whom you seem so comfortable with. With that jealousy, comes a huge wave of insecurity. The guy doesn't seem to have messed up like Jimin did. He doesn't seem to be someone you feel the need to cut off your life. All of which Jimin has done and is.

However, when the light falls on the face of the said guy, Jimin is hit with a sense of anger and confirmation that the said guy is much, much better than Jimin is.

Taehyung is smart, has a good sense of humour and surely knows more when it comes to matters of the heart. Whereas, Jimin has only been confused and no matter how hard he has tried, he has been unsuccessful in clearing up the cloud of confusion.

For a brief moment, he is taken back to the words Taehyung had said to him–you're so in love–which Jimin had found utterly ridiculous at the time. However, now that he finds himself in the hold of jealousy and a brewing insecurity that only you hold the power to put a stop to, he doesn't find the idea as absurd.

He's never been in love before. But somehow he is still hit with the realisation that all his desperation, anger, jealousy and insecurities stem from one thing and one thing only. His love for you.

He is hit with more and more clarity with each passing moment as he stares at you. An overwhelming urge to make you his, washes over him and with strong, determined steps, he walks in the direction where you chat with Taehyung.

The moment the two of you realise Jimin's presence, your smile falters whereas Taehyung's widens.

"Jimin," you whisper, caught completely off guard.

"Y/N," he greets you back. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Me neither," you mumble in a small voice.

"How have you been?"

Neither of you miss the fact that this was the very same question he had asked via text, to which you had made it clear that things would never be the same, instead of actually answering him.

However, now that you both stand in front of each other, you think it would be incredibly rude to not answer him. "I'm fine."

Your short answer leaves no further room for conversation and it's only when you realise that Jimin refuses to avert his eyes from you, that you ask him back the same question.

"I've been anything but fine," Jimin answers, without missing a beat.

His answer is similar to yours in terms of being short and vague. However, his response means exactly the opposite of yours.

You stifle the question that's on the tip of your tongue and push away the overgrowing concern at his answer. This is exactly why you had chosen to end whatever friendship you two had over text. You were unsure of the feelings Jimin would stir within you. Sure, you have made the choice of moving on from him but there was no denying that you haven't moved on yet.

You nod and think it would be best to include Taehyung in the conversation. He would surely know how to break the tension. However, you realise at the same time as Jimin does that Taehyung has disappeared into thin air.

Taehyung's gone, you think with surprise and disbelief, having no clue when he left.

Taehyung's gone, Jimin thinks, beaming with glee and satisfaction.

"Do you want a drink?" Jimin asks, having no intention of leaving.

"I could actually do with some alcohol," you mumble mainly to yourself, but somehow despite the loud music, Jimin manages to hear you. The very next moment he has two drinks in his hands and gracefully offers you one.

"I have a few things to say," he says after a few sips.

Oh god. Please be kind to my heart. You stay quiet. You were not prepared to face Jimin. After texting him that day, you had honestly thought that was it. It was hard for you to send him those words. So incredibly hard. But you knew it was for the best.

A part of you had wished for Jimin to regret losing you. But you knew that thought to be impractical. You knew in reality, Jimin must have slipped into someone's bed instead of giving you a second thought. You had honestly thought Jimin's attempt at apologising with flowers was merely a result of his hurt to the ego. Nevertheless, you appreciate his effort and know better than to have any further expectations from the man.

However, this is incredibly confusing. More so, because the Jimin who was sending you those flowers would run away right after he knew that the flowers had reached their destination. However, this Jimin, stands in front of you with eyes locked with yours, refusing to back down.

"I had sent those flowers to you, because I knew I had to apologise. I knew I messed up. I knew I hurt you. Don't get me wrong, the knowledge that I had hurt you was enough of a slap on my face, but I didn't know what it felt like for you," he takes a pause, "but now I do."

Jimin is aware that comparing what he has put you through with what he felt for merely a few minutes after seeing you with Taehyung, is completely unfair. However, it'd be fair to say he has got a taste of his own medicine and he fucking hates himself to have you put through that, over and over again.

"I know now, because–," he takes a deep breath, afraid you won't believe him, "–I have come to the realisation that I'm in love with you."

Your pupils dilate in shock and after a brief moment, your expressions morph into that of disbelief, much like Jimin had expected.

"I don't expect you to believe it. I know I haven't done much to earn your trust. All I ask is for you to give me a chance to prove myself."

You're too shocked to make coherent thoughts. As a matter of fact, the severity of Jimin's words doesn't click in your brain. How can it, when you have seen it for yourself how appalled Jimin feels at the thought of commitment? How can you digest the thought of Jimin saying these words, that too, to you?

"What do you want, Jimin?" You ask wanting the interaction to be cut short, afraid that the longer you stay in his presence the more you will find yourself inclined to believe his words.

"Let me take you out on a date."

Kim Taehyung

I'm in a relationship.

You absent-mindedly stare at the words on your screen as you feel the mix of emotions resurface yet again.

Taehyung is in a relationship. The Taehyung you love so dearly, is in a relationship. And if you are to go with his status updates, he's quite happy about it as well.

How do you feel about it, exactly?

You feel betrayed, hurt, confused, angry, perplexed, sad, annoyed, embarrassed, lonely, frustrated, upset. These emotions are only a few to name. There's so much you think and believe, you still haven't figured out yet. Anytime, you try to focus on your emotions in hopes that you will be able to let it all out, all you come up with is an empty feeling.

That's another thing. You haven't cried at all. But you want to. You want to just let all of it hit you at once and get it off your chest. Because the heavy uncomfortable feeling that often stirs your heart is not something you wish to deal with for long.

Sometimes your mind comes up with all the little things and moments that had made Taehyung so special to you and you find yourself this close to breaking into uncontrollable sobs. But then it just never happens. It's like someone is pressing the accelerator and the brake at the same time and you're just there, frozen in time, not knowing what to do.

You doubt if you have even fully grasped the concept of Taehyung being in a relationship. The thought that he's in one and you got to learn about it only after he committed, that too through a WhatsApp status, is completely unbelievable to you for some reason. No matter how much you try, a part of you doesn't want to believe it.

It's a whole set of emotions you never thought Taehyung would make you feel. He was your feel-good person, one of your best friends and someone you trusted with your entire heart. It's something you don't even know as to how to react to.

"Y/N!"

You blink back to reality when someone shakes you by your shoulders. "Huh?"

"You zoned out again."

"Oh," you speak in a tone of realisation, "I'm sorry–"

"Nothing to apologise for. Just forget whoever that guy is. He's surely not treating you right if you have this conflicted look on your face all the time."

If only it were that easy. You wish it was that easy.

You chuckle at your next desk co-worker, Shanaya's, words. "I will surely contemplate on your words."

"Men don't deserve shit from us if they treat us like shit," she nods seriously. "And with the way, you have had this sad-confused look in your eyes for a whole week now, I strongly doubt that man is any good for you."

Oh yeah, it's been a week.

Although, you could have been fooled by how the admittance of his relationship remains the last text exchanged between the two of you. You just didn't know how to respond to him at that time. You were too busy absorbing the shock to think of a proper response.

You had just shut your net off and tried your hardest to fall asleep. But you just couldn't get a blink of sleep and since then you also couldn't bring yourself to pretend to be fine with him, when you were far from it.

Maybe you had posted your status a little too frequently to subtly let him know that you're online and well-active on your socials but are simply choosing to not talk to him. On the other side of the coin, is the fact that you feel disheartened that he hasn't made any effort to talk to you. It's the longest the both of you have gone without talking to each other.

A hand waves in front of your face gaining your attention as your co-worker looks at you knowingly.

"See! Not good for you."

You smile at her words and shake your head softly, amused by her straightforward and direct nature.

—-----------

"How are you?"

You roll your eyes before replying. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Hmm," your best friend hums. "On a scale of 1 to 10?"

"Idk man, 7?"

"That's an improvement," she speaks to herself. "Now tell me, have you blocked Taehyung, yet?"

"I won't do that," you reply softly with a tone of surety.

She sighs over the phone. "Babe, he's a dick. Why haven't you cut him off yet, is beyond me."

Your best friend is of the kind whom if you call crying, she'd ask you to first get rid of the person who's responsible for your tears and then she will allow you to tell her what went down for you to cry. If only she were in the same city as you, she'd have committed the crimes herself instead of having to beg you to do them.

She's protective of you, incredibly so.

When you had told her everything about Taehyung, she had muttered to herself something along the lines of how she knew he was gonna turn out to be a dickhead. You never queried her on that because in a way you knew what she meant.

On learning about the situation you and Taehyung were in and about his unwillingness to be in a relationship, she was very firm about making her point that Taehyung was only making excuses. She was adamant that a person who really loves you wouldn't come up with reasons as to why they shouldn't be together. At the time, you had acknowledged what she was trying to say but you added that sometimes people get scared and fear often turns out to be an emotion that is rather difficult to overcome.

With much reassurance from your side that Taehyung was a great guy, she had let go of the topic. However, to say that Taehyung has now earned the entirety of your best friend's hatred, would be an understatement. You'd have been really concerned about his safety had she been in the city.

"He–", you pause briefly, "–isn't a bad guy."

Your friend scoffs. "Right. He's the worst."

"He is nice," you say a little more firmly.

"Oh! Yes please, someone please give him a Nobel prize for his niceness!"

To your surprise the tone in which she speaks, makes you burst out laughing. "You really hate him, don't you?"

"Has he ever given me a reason to NOT despise him?"

You chuckle as your laughter dies off. "Well, I don't blame you. I'd hate the guy as well if I was in your place."

"Hah! So you agree on something with me."

"But," you emphasise on the word, "he's not a bad guy. I don't know how everything turned out to be this way but trust me he has a very tender heart."

"I cannot believe you're making excuses for him, Y/N."

Her surprisingly soft tone serves as a reminder that your best friend is probably one of the most compassionate and understanding people you've ever met. The only time you've seen her behave like an angry child who's ready to throw some punches, is when you get hurt.

And admittedly, you're the same way when it comes to her.

"I'm not making excuses for him, I know him. He'd never intentionally hurt someone."

"But he did hurt you!!!"

"I know and I doubt he realises it," you sigh. "But I need to know his side of things."

"I'm sure he will run if you try to confront him," she grumbles. "He'll probably not even reply if you tell him how much of a dick he's been."

"Heyyy," a childish whine escapes your lips. "I have more faith in him than that. He respects me enough to talk things out."

She makes a sound of complete disbelief, "You bet my ass he would just pull stuff out of his ass."

"We will see," you chuckle.

You had to make up your mind sooner or later and somehow the conversation with your best friend has reminded you of the faith you have in Taehyung. If you need answers, you're sure he'd give them. Most importantly, you don't plan on losing the friendship you have with him this easily. But you don't think you'd be able to just push everything aside and pretend that things are fine. You need to clear it out. You need for him to realise that he has hurt you and you need to know how things changed so quickly.

—————————————————————

You: hey

It took you another day to get the simple three-letter word out of your system. But you do it the very first thing in the morning after waking up. Whatever roller coaster ride of emotion it is going to take you on, you want it over by today.

Thankfully, it takes only ten minutes for your phone to ping to notify you of a message from Taehyung.

Tae 🐻: hello, birdie 👋

A snort escapes you when you imagine all the lovely cuss words that would leave your best friend's mouth if she were to learn of his response to your 'hey'.

You, too, find yourself being amused yet disappointed at how oblivious he seems to be.

You: I'm sorry for not responding to your texts any sooner

Chewing on your lower lip, you click on the send button. While this text is meant to serve as an apology, it also serves as a means for you to know whether he really is as clueless as he seems. You're curious if he's at least aware that something must have been wrong for you to not text for this long.

Tae 🐻: It's okay, don't worry. I understand!

Tae 🐻: work can get busy

Tae 🐻: it's fine!

Sighing, you realise it's fruitless. You need to be upfront as there's no other way for you to go about it.

You: uhmm thanks

You: but before we catch up and all that, can I just get a few things off my chest?

Tae 🐻: sure! Go ahead.

Suddenly you find yourself feeling anxious. You are not quite sure how this is going to turn out and how you're going to put your emotions into words. It sure appears to be a difficult job considering how muddled your brain feels every time you think about the events that have led to this.

You: i don't really know how to say what i want to say lol

You: this is so awkward

Tae 🐻: just say it

Tae 🐻: it's the same ol' me after all

Some of your anxiety softens at his words.

You: i know but i just dk how to say it 😂

Tae 🐻: that's okay

Tae 🐻: would it be more comfortable for you if I were to go offline? and I can check your messages when you give me the green signal to open your texts?

Now that he mentions it, you think that would be lovely. That way you could take your time figuring out how to word your sentences without having the rush of typing things out fast over the worry of him coming to assumptions before you say the full thing.

You: that'd be great!

You: thank you!

Tae 🐻: well then, I'll go offline. You speak your heart out 😌

You: open my texts only when you see a thumbs up or a message that directly asks you to open it. Okay?

Tae 🐻: done 👍

Sighing, you relax on your sofa and think. Now that he's offline, you need to figure out what to say. Rather, where to start because you just have so much to say.

It takes you another two or three minutes before you start typing.

You: so idk how this is gonna sound or how it's gonna get interpreted but I really need this out of my chest for it's been bothering me the last few days.

You: so ummm, you know we both had openly admitted to having feelings for each other and then you told me you weren't really ready for a relationship? And I agreed to things being the way they were because I never wanted to pressurise you. I always wanted to be a friend first, whom you can trust and feel safe with, more than anything else.

You: it's true that we never had a name for what we were. But it's because of that very reason that it always remained very confusing to me as to where we stood. Especially where you stood.

You: i always could have asked in the course of the year as to where we stood but i always let you be because i was cautious that asking you, would in a way, pressurise you.

You: however, that is not to say that i wasn't put in a dilemma when i would get propositions for going out on dates or when someone would ask me out.

You: i didn't know where your feelings for me lied. While I avoided any assumptions, i also didn't act as if you did not have feelings for me. Because what if you did and then my actions hurt you? I knew how much you have been hurt in the past and i just didn't want to add to that.

Your fingers pause as you take a look at what you have covered so far. When you go through your last two texts, you go awry at the thought of sounding like someone who's claiming to have done him some huge favour.

You: I'm not saying all this to say that i have done you a huge favour or something by the way. Or that you owe me something in return.

You: I'm just saying this because when you're so cautious and thoughtful over someone, it hurts to be on the receiving end of actions that make you feel incredibly stupid.

You: it would have been better if you had told me, you know? That "hey, there's this girl i like," and I'm not saying in a way that you had to take my permission or something but just that it would have been nice to know that you thought of me and of what kind of an effect it would have on me.

You: I just wish I didn't have to learn from a WhatsApp status

You pause before thinking if you have missed anything. When you go through your words, you realise that you indeed have missed something important.

You see, in the mix of all the heavy emotions, you also are happy. You're happy for him. That's something you realised the very day you learned about his relationship. It's odd but even in the midst of all the confusion you were feeling, a part of you felt glad.

You were glad that he found someone he loves and someone who makes him happy. You also found yourself excited on his behalf.

You won't lie, you were surprised that you weren't jealous. Before Taehyung, for a long time, you had hardly had any guy in your life except for fleeting crushes. Even then, you can acknowledge the fact that jealousy is a very natural emotion to feel in this scenario. However, when you realised that you were happy for him and that happiness did not originate from a place where you had to force it, you were also proud.

To you, there's no greater testimony of your love than that.

You: i don't think i have mentioned this before but I'm really happy and excited for you.

You: go ahead and open your texts ig 😂

There are questions in your mind that you think would have been better had you asked them. Questions as to how he was unwilling to be in a relationship when it came to you but suddenly found himself being in a relationship a year later?

However, you decide that's something you'd rather not ask.

When you think of it, you indeed find it unfair and there's perhaps that hint of anger that bubbles in your stomach. But you recognise that there's no purpose in asking that question.

It's possible that his feelings for her run deeper than they ever did for you. Or it could be the fact that they work together and it's human that you'd grow close to someone who's there with you physically rather than someone whom you only talk to over the phone or via texts.

But figuring out the why is none of your business. Neither is it something you're concerned with. Whatever the reason might be, he's in a relationship and he has already made a choice. The why is irrelevant now.

Another reason, the why is irrelevant to you is because, you have never found yourself thinking along the lines of what you could have done differently for him to stay and choose you. You have never wondered if it was something you lacked. You'd never let yourself think that way for anyone. Once upon a time, you did. You were filled with insecurities and would question yourself anytime someone would hurt you or leave you. But you have overcome that and have learnt to love yourself. You'd never undo all that progress by entertaining those thoughts ever again. Even if it's Taehyung.

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen letting you know Taehyung is typing. His text soon arrives making your breath hitch.

Tae 🐻: I have read your texts. Give me some time, and I'll reply to them.

So you'll have to wait.

It's fair you think, he can take the time he needs, to figure out what he has to say.

You only hope you can get over this soon.

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's been an entire day since Taehyung said he'd reply to your texts but unfortunately, he hasn't yet.

You know he will reply, you have that faith in him but you only wish he'd do it sooner. There's that lingering anxiety that comes with being unable to predict what he's going to say.

You have also been wondering if you have worded your words correctly. You found yourself worrying what if you came across as jealous and as someone who's unhappy for him? You really hope you didn't sound bitter because you aren't.

Yes, there's a part of you that is sad because the moments that you thought were special for the both of you, were all in your head. Because you loved him.

There's also this feeling that now you have been replaced. That now, things won't ever be the same. Perhaps, a part of you wishes you could stay in your head a little longer and pretend.

But all of that aside, you also have immense amounts of trust in the friendship you both share. Taehyung is someone who is incredibly kind and loving, and he's a great friend in general and you're sure that both of you would somehow manage to keep your friendship intact.

Penny: Has he replied yet?

You look down at the screen to find a text from your best friend.

You: no

You: not yet

Penny: huh told you

Penny: he's a dick

You smile and shake your head.

Knowing you have a long day ahead, you cook yourself a plate full of breakfast and get ready for work. In a way, you're glad that there's work to keep you busy. You do not know what you'd have done had it been a Sunday. You'd probably have been restless as fuck and would have been checking your phone every five minutes.

Thanks to your workload, you only get time to check your phone during lunch. However, the workload doesn't help with the disappointment you feel, when each time that you do check your phone and find that there's no new message from Taehyung. The disappointment only increases when you realise he has put a status about some funny fact regarding hyenas.

Whatever he sends you as a response to your texts, it better be good to have you kept waiting this long.

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's nine in the evening and you're at home when you finally receive Taehyung's text. Your anxiousness is overpowered by curiosity and impatience as you click on his message. It's a wordy and lengthy one.

Tae 🐻: I was confused, Y/N. Very confused. Although I had confessed my feelings to you, I was extremely confused and scared to take a step forward. When things with Kira ended, I was lonely and sad and my thoughts were very self-destructive. I had zero self-confidence. Talking to you, spending time with you, and texting you gave me the greatest joy and it acted as an escape from those thoughts, feelings and difficulties I was facing at the time. However, if you ask me now, where my feelings originated from, I wouldn't be able to tell. Were they genuine or a result of my love-starved state, I wouldn't be able to tell. But I'm glad it did as it helped me move on from the grief that accompanied my breakup. You have no idea how much you helped me at the time and I was selfish enough to take all of it, without thinking of the consequences, one of which was falling for you. This conversation we are having now is one which we should have had long ago. But I was scared that me not taking the step forward and telling you all this, would make you lose interest in me. Instead, I kept you hanging. I thank you for always being such an amazing friend. I have always loved you but I was too scared to put the tag of a relationship. I mistook my infatuation as readiness for being in a relationship. I'm guilty of all the things you mentioned but I don't know what to do to make things right, as I really don't want to lose the friendship we have. With all that I have done, you'd obviously think that I don't care about you, or at least not as much as you do, but trust me, I do. I have just been shit at expressing my gratitude and telling you how much you mean to me. I'll do better. I just hope you have it in your heart to forgive me for my mistakes. Thank you.

Something that you have been really hoping for, finally happens. You cry.

Fat, angry droplets of tears roll down your face and you close your eyes shut as the searing pain spreads in your chest.

Everything just feels so final and also so fruitless.

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen and you realise that Taehyjng must have noticed that you have read his message.

Tae 🐻: say something

Tae 🐻: this is making me anxious 😅

Despite your blurry vision and him being the cause of your pain, you feel the need to put him at ease.

You: i appreciate you being honest with me

You: I'll reply properly in a while

You: just let me have a good cry first

The petty part of you wants him to know that you're crying, you want him to know how hurt you are.

Tae 🐻: Y/N?

Tae 🐻: are you okay?

You don't reply, not having it in yourself to lie.

You let your tears flow as you cry silently.

It's too much for you. You feel used. You feel like a rebound. You feel like a bridge he walked on to reach his destination and to move on from his past. Your heart feels walked all over. Your love feels irrelevant.

It's true that you wanted to make him feel good. You wanted him to move on from the hurt caused by Kira. You wanted him to feel good about himself. All because you loved him. But you never thought your love was so disposable to him. That it would only be the means for him to move on to someone else.

What's worse is, despite all of that you understand. You understand that it wasn't a conscious choice of his to hurt you. He, himself, wasn't aware that he was using your love to heal himself.

It's worse because a part of you feels bitter and angry. If you were the one who helped him get over his hurt, shouldn't he show at least a bit of loyalty to you? You feel angry because he didn't communicate, he left you in the dark and just assumed that you must have been detached enough from your feelings for you to not be bothered by his new relationship. But then a part of you understands that as well.

With Taehyung, it's a tug of war where you want to be mad at him and feel betrayed by him but no matter what, your love for him makes you see things from his point of view.

In a way, you find it surprising as well because you never realised just how deep your love runs. Seeing their side of things despite the hurt they have caused? Isn't that love at its purest? However, that makes you ache in pain as well. You loved him as your own. Only to realise that his love for you was merely an infatuation.

His love for you was shallow.

You think it would have been better if he were an asshole whom you could just hate. It would have been easier for you because you'd know he wasn't worth your time. But how do you handle all of this when he's one of your closest friends?

That's a question you'd probably need time to answer. You need time to let the stinging pain in your chest subside. You need time to let yourself process the silent heartbreak you're going through.

With shaky hands and blurry vision, you block Taehyung.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Last Friday of every month, all your colleagues go out to have dinner and drinks together. You enjoy accompanying them because honestly, it is nice and fun, almost like a little treat to yourself. However, this week, you're not really sure you'd like that. You don't have the energy to socialise.

One might argue that with recent events in mind, the best thing to do would probably be just that, to socialise, as it would take your mind off things that have been bugging you. But then you have always been the type who needs energy to socialise rather than the kind who energises themselves from socialising.

You have almost completed packing your bag when someone taps on your shoulders.

"You're coming with us today, right?" Shanaya queries, having a suspicious glint in her eyes as if she's already aware of your plans of not joining.

Shaking your head softly, you confirm her suspicions. However, Shanaya is having none of that.

"You have to come," she insists, sounding determined. "It's my birthday treat."

You're thoroughly surprised at the information. "It's your birthday today? Oh my god, I'm so sorry–"

"It's not today, it's tomorrow," she cuts you off. "But tomorrow is off so it's an early birthday treat."

She looks at you with such pleading eyes that you cannot bring yourself to say no to her. Reluctantly you smile and the next thing you know, you're being wrapped in a warm hug.

"Yay, thank you," she squeals, excited. "Now common, let's go."

As it turns out, today's destination is one stop away. Usually, you all go to someplace that's near and doesn't require transportation. However, Shanaya wanted to take all of you to a particular place that, according to her, serves the best dumplings and noodles. Who can say no to Shanaya, anyway?

As you sit there and wait with the others for the bus to arrive, you look at the screen with Taehyung's conversation open.

It's only yesterday that you unblocked him. You were well aware that you'd be unblocking him and talking to him again at some point. The friendship was too precious for you to let go. And it's not something you're saying simply because you love him. If you were to look back, Taehyung has never been a bad friend to you. He's been there for you whenever you needed. He has never let you down when it comes to friendship.

However, you doubt you're ready to talk to him just yet. That doesn't mean you don't want to.

There's just so much that you have to tell him. The little things that have occurred over the course of the two weeks that you had him blocked. Everything feels a little incomplete unless shared with him.

Your fingers hover over his profile picture and you hesitate to click on it. He has uploaded a new profile picture and you wonder if it is too weird to just stare at it.

"Y/N?"

The sound of your name startles you and while trying to hide your phone screen, you accidentally end up clicking on the small call button right next to the profile picture.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You cut the call immediately and stare at the screen which now shows his name at the top of your call logs. He's gonna see a missed call from you, shit.

"The bus is here, Y/N."

Oh right, that must be why Mike had called for you. You quickly gather your thoughts and get on the bus, shying away from the worried look Shanaya throws your way.

When you get a seat on the bus, the first thing you do is shoot him a text. You indeed are not ready to talk to him but your accidental call has ruined your plans.

You: I'm so sorry

You: i called you by mistake

You know it will probably be a while until he sees your call and your text and it's a good thing that you have your co-workers to accompany you. That way you'd be distracted enough to not fret about it unnecessarily.

All of you get down when your stop arrives and make your way inside the small restaurant.

The chatter and the giggles and the latest gossip about your boss is enough for you to temporarily ignore the sinking sadness that sits at the pit of your stomach.

"Y/N, drinks?"

Your colleagues are well familiar with the answer to this question. You don't prefer drinking. The reason behind that, however, is not known to them.

Like the majority of people, you enjoy getting drunk and letting it loose. However, you're the kind of drunk who gets giggly and finds every little thing amusing. And for some reason, you feel comfortable to let that part of you out, only in the presence of a few people. Four, to be exact.

One, your best friend. Two, Min Yoongi. Three, Lee Sana. And four, Kim Taehyung.

Needless to say, you hardly ever get the chance to get drunk.

The usual answer rests on the tip of your tongue, but there's also this desperation for you to let go of the heaviness. You really could do with some giggles and amusement.

"I'd probably have some whiskey," you reply with a shy unsure smile as your colleagues cheer.

The night somehow refuses to come to an end as you all soon find yourselves seated on the floor of Kate's apartment, in a circle. It starts off with some dancing and then Nitesh takes up the guitar and starts singing. He's a good singer, you can appreciate that and everyone's having fun with big smiles on their faces as they clap along with the beats.

You have had three shots so far and for the love of god, you still feel that melancholy. It heightens when you realise you're sad in such a fun environment. Despite wanting to join them in their fun, your mind keeps wondering what it would be like if Taehyung were here. Gosh, it's been so long since the both of you have hung out and truthfully, it has never bothered you before. Whatever communication you two had was more than enough for you. Sharing the little details about your day, sending him silly stickers, all that held more meaning to you than he probably ever realised. That was much more intimate to you than anything physical.

You shake your head to yourself when you realise you're here being sad over a guy who wasn't even your boyfriend. It's so ridiculous.

But then again, despite the lack of a label, you were loyal to him with your entirety.

Geez, the alcohol seemingly has made you more sensitive.

"You sure are having fun," Shanaya comments. "I'm assuming the alcohol didn't help much?"

It doesn't take rocket science for someone to figure out that if a person who's never said yes to drinks before suddenly willingly says yes to them, there must be some pain they are trying to numb.

"Surprisingly, no."

She hums. "Wanna talk about it?"

Shanaya has asked this question to you multiple times over the span of the last few days. Never has it made you feel as if it's coming from a place where she is prying for details. It has only made you feel as if she's letting you know she's all ears, whenever you need her. Each time, you have shrugged as if it's not a big deal, as if it's not important enough for you to talk about. However, now, you really could do with a shoulder to cry on.

Hence, you vent and even amid all the noise and music, she intently listens to your words without interrupting even once.

When you finish, she releases a heavy sigh. "That's what you meant when you said it was complicated."

You chuckle at the reminder of the response you had given to your then-new co-workers, to being asked about your love life. You were so cautious of hurting Taehyung, having no idea that it was going to be him, hurting you.

"Do you plan on being friends with him?"

You don't miss the edge her tone has, as if she believes it's not worth it. Either that, or she thinks it's not possible to be friends with someone who's hurt you like that.

"I do," your reply is instantaneous.

"Don't you feel angry?"

"I do," of course you are angry. It would be absurd if you were not.

"Are you sure that is a good idea?"

You're not. You know the dynamic between you and Taehyung would never be the same again. Things would be different. You have now realised that things which meant a lot to you, perhaps never held the same meaning to him. The dynamic is bound to change. But is that good enough of a reason to cut your friendship off?

"He's only a human. People fall in love and sometimes, they fall out of love. I do not control the way he feels and when it comes to love, I don't think any of us have a control over who we fall for or when we fall," you release a sigh. Maybe it's all the more difficult for you because you still love him despite everything. "He's not in the wrong for falling for someone just because it's not me. I wish he would have not kept me in the dark but we all make mistakes, we all mess up."

"But more importantly, he's a friend first and he's always been an incredible friend to me. Now, I wouldn't be a good friend if I were to ever entertain the idea of making him choose between me and his happiness, would I?"

She remains quiet for a moment, observing you closely. "Do you mean all that you said?"

You nod.

She chuckles. "Well then, you have one of the purest hearts I have ever come across."

—--------------------------------------------------------

You were aware that there were unread texts from Taehyung but had refused to open them until morning. The night was exhausting and more than anything, you wanted to sleep. However, when morning came rolling, there was no avoiding opening his messages.

Tae 🐻: why are you suddenly being so formal? 😂

Tae 🐻: it's completely fine.

Relief courses through your veins at his casual tone. You don't know how you'd have responded had he mentioned you blocking him seemingly out of nowhere. However, there's a small part of you that remains curious if he had even realised you blocked him. Nevertheless, you'd much rather put all of that behind you and move forward.

You: i was randomly scrolling through my phone and the next thing i knew, my phone was calling you

Tae 🐻: lmao

Tae 🐻: blame it on the phone, yes

You smile. Going back to being friends might not be that difficult.

You two chat a bit and catch up with each other about things the both of you have been up to recently. You lose track of time as you make yourself a cup of tea, refusing to let your phone down, feeling excited at the thought of telling him about the things you have been up to.

Tae 🐻: well i have something to tell you

You: uh oh

You: go on

Tae 🐻: so last day me and Bridget went on a date

Tae 🐻: and things got steamy 👉👈

Tae 🐻: if you know what i mean

You very well know what he means.

Your stomach sinks in disappointment.

It's not because you're jealous or that the thought of Taehyung with someone else makes you feel disheartened, you have moved past that. Rather, you feel disappointed that he thought it was something appropriate to mention to you.

Had it been anyone else in some other scenario, you'd have had no issue. Friends, close ones especially, tend to discuss these sorts of things, don't they? However, this is Taehyung and keeping the recent events in mind, he should not have mentioned it to you at all. Especially not when, his new relationship had made you feel as if he didn't bother to think of you, once.

He keeps on going about how it was one of the best nights of his life but you don't find it in yourself to play pretend and entertain him. Although you don't directly ask him to stop, you don't reply to his texts either.

Tae 🐻: Y/N?

The screen reads when he's done and probably upon the realisation that you haven't said anything for a long time.

You: nice

Oh, how you wish technology was advanced enough for the text to be read aloud on his phone in a sarcastic tone.

You: let me tell you about yesterday

You: we went back to Kate's place

You: and i got drunk simply because i was feeling low and sad and depressed and was looking for an escape

You: but that didn't help, only enhanced what i was already feeling

You could have probably avoided saying this but then you wanted to say it. You don't know if he'll put two and two together but it's your own way of telling him that things are still sensitive.

Tae 🐻: you sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken 😂

A loud laugh escapes your lips. Gosh, is this the guy you have been crying over for weeks?

Wow.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Taehyung has let you down, as a friend. More than once.

A few days back, he'd asked if he could send you a poem that he'd written. You had always known he liked writing stuff and hadn't thought much of it. However, upon asking what it was about, he had replied 'newfound love'. Your reply to which had been, 'In that case, I'm not interested'.

You didn't care how that sounded, you were not gonna put up with this bullshit just because it would be impolite.

With each passing day and with each small incident where you feel as if your feelings are totally disregarded, your disappointment keeps growing. You really had not expected this kind of behaviour from Taehyung.

One of the main reasons you had fallen for him was the way he seemed so emotionally wise. He was aware and attentive towards the people around him and was always kind. His recent attitude contradicts all of that.

There is a part of you that also recognises how his recent behaviour has made you detached. You could not say that the Taehyung you fell in love with and the Taehyung now, are the same. In a very twisted way, it made accepting the fact that there's nothing between the two of you, except friendship much easier.

Tae 🐻: Y/N

Tae 🐻: I messed up.

The text comes at around one in the morning. The only reason you're awake is the report that's due in two days. But the incoming text puts your fingers to a pause as worry clouds your senses.

Is he okay?

You: what happened?

Tae 🐻: i messed up

Tae 🐻: i feel so embarrassed

You: can you stop being vague?

Tae 🐻: i sent a vm to Bridget of me singing TS

You couldn't help rolling your eyes when you read the words. Huh, you should have seen it coming.

Unlike other times, for some odd reason, you find yourself leaning towards the idea of entertaining him. Perhaps it's because you haven't had a proper conversation with him for a long time. And also perhaps, because you know this won't go on for long.

You: so?

Tae 🐻: she is a huge TS fan

Tae 🐻: she asked me to sing one of her favourite songs

Tae 🐻: and i cannot ever bring myself to say no to her

Tae 🐻: but like now that i listen back to the audio i sound terrible and i maybe did a British accent while singing

Understandably, you can see where he's coming from. The nervousness that comes with making a gesture for someone you adore and then feeling embarrassed about it, worrying whether they found it romantic or did you make a fool of yourself. And less than one month of being in a relationship is not enough to quieten the nervous jitters.

So, you tell him what you would have, had it been any other friend. Upon further chatting you realise he genuinely feels like crawling inside a hole and never coming out. It doesn't surprise you, Taehyung has always been like that, going for the big gestures and self-doubt creeping in later.

You let yourself enjoy the normalcy and pretend that Taehyung is just another friend of yours and that he isn't someone who broke your heart.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Your phone has been buzzing and pinging since morning. Midnight to be specific. Birthday wishes have been flowing in with notes and gifs and with each message you feel more appreciated than you feel the rest three sixty-four days of the year.

However, with each notification sound, there has also been that hope and expectation that maybe this one would be from Taehyung.

He had texted you a few days back reminding you of your upcoming birthday and although it's afternoon already, you don't really believe that he has forgotten the day altogether.

When evening rolls around, you start growing sceptic. You squirm in your sofa, finally acknowledging that it's very well a possibility that your birthday might have slipped his mind. It makes you go back to the long, seven-hundred-word, letter he had written for your birthday, last year.

The words make you smile.

Do you know how amazing you are? I don't think you do and it will be my job to make you see that.

Sometimes, I think I don't deserve you with how kind and loving you are but I'm so incredibly grateful for you that no amount of words would ever be enough.

I have never met someone like you, ever.

Only a few lines from the massive paragraph that his greeting text was and the corner of your lips lift up. However, the moment is broken when you realise you're smiling.

You shake your head as sadness fills you. You cannot let yourself recall old memories and feel the way they used to make you. It's not an option anymore.

Locking your screen, you sigh. You won't lie, you had really wanted a text from him. Anything that would show you that he still cares for you and the friendship between the both of you still held a chance. It's no wonder that you have been seeking some sort of reassurance after everything that he has done.

It's around eleven at night that Taehyung's name first appears on your notification bar. You grin wide and open your text, glad to have been proven wrong and feeling stupid to have considered the idea of him forgetting your birthday.

A link to a YouTube video.

Your grin disappears just as quickly and disappointment like nothing you have ever felt before, makes its way to your heart.

You leave him on seen.

A day passes and you wonder if he will send at least a belated wish, apologising for not wishing you any sooner. But nope

It's the day after that, the second day past your birthday when you check for any messages from him and you are led to his stories. It's slides of pictures of him and Bridget and the caption is him singing praises of her and telling the world how much in love he is because it's her birthday.

That's your last straw.

It's probably a very small issue, forgetting birthdays and all. But to you, it's not. It just adds up to the pile of things that have made you feel like you were the only one who was taking into consideration the friendship that was at stake.

Plus, it cannot be that difficult to remember your birthday when his girlfriend's birthday is literally two days after yours.

You have had enough. You need to walk out of Taehyung's life.

Considering all that had made you fall for Taehyung, it's incredibly hard for you to believe that he doesn't know what he is doing and that he has forgotten basic decency. The option that was left with you, didn't make sense to you either because it implied he let you down intentionally. But the Taehyung you knew would never hurt a fly.

It made you wonder if it was simply a result of his honeymoon phase that he had forgotten to consider how his actions could hurt people. Maybe he was too elated to think things through. The empathetic part of you understood. But then you shook that away, knowing very well that if you were in his position, irrespective of how happy and high you were, you would never do that.

Maybe you had realised that this was coming from the very day, he hadn't thought twice before mentioning his intimate moments with Bridget. But, boy oh boy, had you hoped to be wrong.

You had given him opportunities to prove you wrong, to give you a reason to stay but he only kept giving you reasons as to why you should leave.

It's an odd sensation that washes over you when you come to the conclusion that this isn't worth it anymore.

You feel sad that the friendship is coming to an end. You're sure you'd miss his company and that there would be days when you mourn the friendship that once used to be. You know there would be times when you'd resent him and there would also be times when you'd feel angry at yourself for giving so much of you to him.

But you won't ever regret your choice of leaving him.

One thing this whole ordeal with Taehyung has made you realise is how deeply you love. How even in the midst of hurt, you were happy for him and how you saw and loved him for what he was and not for what he could be or for what he offered you. It made you take pride in the way you love. You gave him the purest form of love.

A life where you and Taehyung are not friends, won't be your loss. It would be his. Irrespective of whether he realises that or not.

You feel oddly poweful with the knowledge that there was nothing lacking in your love and you'd never dishonour your love by staying where it isn't valued, appreciated and seen.

But you also have a lot to say to him. You are not going to just block him and let him wonder why you did that. No, you'd tell him exactly why you left.

—--------------------------------------------------------

It took you a couple of days to get down everything you wanted to say. There were times when you felt conscious of the ever-growing length of your letter and you had to shake off that feeling because this was going to be the last interaction between the both of you. Why stop yourself from saying everything you want to just because you're worried it'll be lengthy?

You read the words one last time, wanting to make sure that you feel satisfied.

Hello Taehyung,

I hope you're doing fine. I wouldn't know how you're doing because we haven't had a proper conversation in quite some time. Or at least that is how it has felt to me. Nevertheless, I'm writing this because there's loads that I need to get off my chest. So, here we go.

When I saw you for the first time and we talked, I could feel you carried a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Almost like, you had something to prove, like you wanted to show that you weren't what you were perceived to be. Or maybe you wanted to prove that you were more than just what meets the eye. I didn't know what in particular. It felt like you wanted to be seen.

And would you believe, I grew a soft spot for you? Do you know why? Because somewhere, I felt the same way too.

I also knew we would be great friends, lol. You know how? Because I knew you had a heart of gold. You cared for others, you were thoughtful and kind. However, I could feel that you have a habit of being harsh on yourself and it didn't sit well with me. From the very first time we talked, I wanted to be a good friend to you, someone you could rely on, someone you could trust and someone who could possibly make you be a little less harsh on yourself.

Perhaps with the weak spot, I also grew protective of you.

You were desperate for love and at the same time felt unworthy of it. I didn't know why though. I didn't know what had you believing so lowly about yourself. But then you told me about Kira, and it all made sense.

It made sense why you felt unworthy and why you felt the need to prove that you were more than what others saw. Because, you believed Kira's words. You really thought you were unlovable.

Instead of feeling the satisfaction of being proved right, I felt so angry at Kira. I may have clawed her eyes out in my mind more than once.

After learning the scars that she left on you, it only made me wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wished you could see that there was nothing you had to do to be loved except for just being you.

You may wonder why I'm suddenly saying all this. Well, let's just say it's necessary.

When you told me you were falling for me, I was surprised but then I felt myself feeling so warm at the thought of you liking me. It took me a few minutes to realise that I was falling for you too.

But that was it.

We never put a label on what we were and I was okay with it. Because I was okay with what we had, I never asked for anything because you were happy. You were also such a great friend, someone who I could talk to anything and everything about. What more could I ask for?

What's more? I could tell you were slowly coming out of whatever shell you were put in by Kira. I can't quite explain how it made me feel to see you smile more freely, to see you be more confident and be sure of yourself. But to put it lightly, it made me feel damn good lol.

I knew I had some part to play in it. I just didn't know that was the only part you wanted me to play.

I moved past all that, trust me. You using my love as a rebound, making a girlfriend without even letting me know once, I moved past all that. Because, I trusted you when you told me you were confused and confusion is never intentional, is it?

It hurt like a bitch to think that was all my love meant to you. But it was okay, you didn't mean to hurt me. You cared about me. You cared about our friendship. You valued it.

Or so you said.

I don't know if you meant it when you said it. But in case you did mean it, here are a few things not to do to the girl you used as a rebound and intend to keep the friendship with.

First, do not mention that you had sex with your new girlfriend.

Second, do not be dumb enough to say "You sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken" when you are the guy who's caused the damage.

Third, do not send her the song you sang for your girlfriend and seek comfort to soothe the embarrassment you feel.

Fourth, do not ask her to read the poems you wrote for your girlfriend.

Fifth, do not forget her birthday when your girlfriend's is just two days later.

These things didn't hurt me as much as it disappointed me. Would you believe, I laughed when you called me a typical heartbroken guy? When I got drunk the day before, my head was filled with thoughts of you and my heart was heavy with the knowledge that I was only a rebound. That day, even in the midst of alcohol, I chose our friendship over everything. I chose to forgive you. I chose to love you, still. But when you mentioned what you did, I just found it so funny to think that this was the guy I was thinking so much about and was so sad about.

As it turns out, I'm not much fond of thoughtless people.

But still, I hoped that somehow you'd give me a reason to stay. All you did, however, was turn a blind eye to my feelings and disrespected me.

If you were to ask me, whether my love for you is romantic or platonic, I wouldn't be able to tell. I have never sat and thought about it. All I know is I loved you, in one of the most unselfish ways possible.

But that's not to say I don't realise how I deserve to be treated. And that's not to say that I'd stay somewhere where I'm an afterthought.

When I said, I was happy for you and Bridget I really meant it and I hope you don't think that your relationship ever had a role to play in this decision of mine. It didn't, it was solely you that made me choose this option.

But this friendship of ours has run its course.

I would never disrespect myself by putting up with your disrespect. I loved you as long as you were worth it. But the moment you took my love for granted was the very moment you lost my respect and love, both.

If you have made it to the end, then congrats! I didn't know if you'd read the whole thing but truth be told I don't particularly care about you reading it either. I wrote this for myself, not for you.

Before I finish this long-ass letter, let me tell you something; you have lost one of the best people you'd ever meet in this lifetime.

Thank you,

With Love,

The purest form.

Jeon Jungkook

His words echo in your mind and after an elongated pause, you find it in yourself to respond. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook gulps, hating how controlled your facial expressions are. In the months of knowing you, he has never seen you try this hard to hide your emotions. “Me and Niki are not actually a couple.”

“Thank you for rephrasing the sentence but I am afraid that it does not make things any clearer for me.”

Jungkook takes a sharp inhale and meets your eyes with uncertainty. “It’s just a PR stunt.”

It takes a few moments for the words to register but when they do, things start making sense, almost like puzzle pieces falling in place.

Namjoon’s hesitance in answering your question about the truth of their relationship. His lack of shock to the words you had heard Niki speak and most importantly, why Niki might have said those words. The whole relationship is not real to begin with.

“But, why?” The words leave your lips without your permission, before you’re able to catch them.

For a moment, he hesitates, wondering if it’s his place to say a few of the things he will have to, to make things clear. But then he shakes off the worry, knowing Niki won’t mind.

“Both of our fandom, for some reason, ship us together. You know the whole ‘both are maknaes’ thing. Nevertheless, both of our companies thought it would be mutually beneficial for the two of us to put up this false act that we are dating.”

“How is it supposed to be mutually beneficial?” It doesn’t make sense to you. One of the oddest and most toxic traits of the kpop industry is how idols are expected to be loyal to their fans by remaining single. How then, a public relationship is supposed to garner anything except for unnecessary attention and hate?

“Niki is well, dating a youtuber. A female youtuber and pictures of them hanging out together didn’t take long to make it to the internet. Although at the beginning, everyone thought they were just good friends, soon there were questions as to whether it was just a simple friendship and well, people were not really happy with that idea,” he sighs, feeling tired just from thinking about everything that had led to this whole ordeal. “It wasn’t only about Niki dating a girl, it was also about her dating someone that wasn’t me. And of course, it was her girlfriend’s fault for coming between two people who are 'meant to be'. All of which ultimately made it incredibly difficult for the two of them to be at peace.”

You can imagine. The thought makes you sympathise with both of them. From Jungkook's words, it's clear the target was Niki’s girlfriend but you are sure it couldn’t have been easy for Niki to watch someone she loves hurt like that.

You understand Niki’s part of the deal. Putting up this font, would stop the threats and hate aimed at them but what was Jungkook supposed to get from this?

Jungkook looks at you and nods, acknowledging the unasked question. "When the offer first came, our company had turned it down, not seeing how it could benefit me. But I was the one who insisted and agreed."

"Why?"

His discomfort grows and he swallows nervously, trying to gather his thoughts. "People are obsessed with me and Niki to the point where it's very predictable that they would hate it if someday I were to date someone who isn't her. I thought it would be good if we did this thing and people believed that we gave it a shot but it didn't work out. That way it would be one less thing I'd have to worry about while dating someone."

You put the thought behind of how it seems incredibly far-fetched and nod. He has answered your question about the nature of their relationship and why it was necessary. However, you still have a bunch of questions about a lot of things–starting with how crushed you felt when he moved you as Namjoon's make-up artist out of nowhere–but you do not wish to let them see the light of the day.

Turning away, you start shuffling with some of the make-up products, indicating that the conversation is done.

"Please say something," Jungkook pleads, tormented by your silence.

"There's nothing more to say," you mutter, keeping away any emotion from being shown.

"That can't be true."

You hate how sure he sounds. As if he is aware of every thought that's running in your head. As if he knows you a little too well. You absolutely despise how you might have believed the notion, once. Now, however, you do not want to. Because that'd mean he knew exactly how much hurt, his ignorance and pretence as if you don't even exist, caused you.

"Y/N, please. We haven't talked for a long time. Please don't shut me out."

Technically, you have two options. One, to keep ignoring him. Two, to snap at him and let every bit of your anger out. You had initially planned on sticking to option number one as it would make you look just as indifferent as Jungkook. However, now you find the option of letting words out without a filter, very appealing.

"I know, I messed up but just talk to me–" the sound of a shaky exhale meets your ears, "–I miss spending time with you."

Well, that's some audacity.

In the blink of an eye, you're facing Jungkook and taking several steps in his direction. You stop only a few steps away from him but you're close enough for him to notice the agony and pure rage storming through your eyes.

"You better shut your mouth, Jeon."

Jungkook flinches at your warning tone. However, he refuses to take the hint. "Y/N, ignoring me isn't going to solve–"

"Trust me, I'm not trying to solve anything," you speak through gritted teeth. "I'm just doing what I think is the right thing to do after someone disrespects you immensely."

"I wasn't trying to disrespect you," he claims, desperately trying to make you believe in something you don't buy for even a second.

"Yeah, ghosting me out of nowhere is not disrespecting me at all," your voice drops with sarcasm

He feels his heart drop when you use the word 'ghosting'. Did you think that's what he did? Is that what it looked like? Gosh, this has all gotten messed up and he's the one to be blamed.

"I didn't ghost you," he mumbles, unable to look into your eyes and the sight of it causes all the pain that you had buried, to come to the surface.

"Then please explain what it was," you voice waivers and you immediately hate yourself for showing weakness. "Please tell me what you thought you were doing by replacing me without even showing the basic decency to inform me that, yourself?"

He gulps, wondering if you'd even believe what he has to say. Even if you do, would you be willing to look past his stupidity?

"I found your note in my bag", you visibly flinch at the mention of the note. You had intentionally kept from mentioning your little confession, praying to whatever god is out there that somehow the note had been damaged before it reached the hands of the person they were meant to find.

Jungkook notices your change of expression as it turns from hurt to embarrassed to anger and he despises himself for making you feel like that. "I had to make a quick decision and I didn't think you'd like to be my make up artist while I was fake dating Niki, especially without you having any knowledge about the fake part."

You stare at him blankly and try to process what he was saying. Did he–did he think he was doing you a favour by cutting you off?

You scoff, turn around and start packing your things with the intention of leaving the room. You're so done with this conversation.

When Jungkook understands your intention, he's quick on his feet and rushes to be right next to you. "Just give me the chance to explain myself fully."

You don't reply, your insides fuming.

"Y/N please," he begs. "Just hear me out once. Then I'll accept whatever it is that you decide for the both of us."

"I'm not gonna stand here and hear you speak utter bullshit that does nothing but let me down further."

Your voice comes with such a sense of finality that Jungkook knows, no matter how much he begs and pleads, you won't be giving him the opportunity to speak his side of things.

Hence, he doesn't stop you when you walk past him and leave the room. But it only makes him more desperate for the day when you finally find it in your heart to give him a chance. Just one.

—-----------------------------------------------------

Jungkook has been persistent. Perhaps a little too persistent with his attempts to earn your forgiveness. Or at least that's what you assume the bouquets of flowers and little notes you find everyday at work are for.

It's not only the flowers, it's also his constant texting and voicemails. His texts vary from a simple 'hi, what are you doing' to 'please, i miss you' and his voicemails have been a mix of him telling you about his day (something he used to do regularly when you were his makeup artist) to a more emotional version of his texts begging you to talk to him.

You won't lie, his incessant pleadings have made you curious what more could he possibly have to say. What could be so different from what he has already said that he is so desperate?

On one hand, you find an odd sense of satisfaction from not responding to Jungkook despite all his efforts. You don't know what that makes you but after the hurt and embarrassment you felt to the point where you had to numb yourself to block those emotions out, his tries and attempts feel like an ointment to your wounds. On the other hand, however, is a voice nagging you as to how, this cannot go on for long. The huge bouquets that wait for you everyday are soon going to catch attention and if anyone were to catch a hint of who it is from…gosh, you don't want to imagine that.

But when you will find it in yourself to have a conversation with him, still remains unknown. All you know is whenever that will be, it will be solely because you don't want word to go out. Yes, that's all it will be.

Today when you walk into Namjoon's dressing room, there's another bouquet waiting for you. The sight of it causes you to sigh. You don't know what Namjoon thinks of this but you're thankful that he hasn't mentioned it yet. That however, made it quite clear that he has some idea as to who they are from.

You let the flowers be where they are. You have never really taken them home or put them in water, afraid that it would be interpreted as you being accepting of his efforts, when you're far from it. You're still hurt and angry.

If anything, sometimes you despise walking into a room full of flowers as they serve as a reminder of the thoughts you had before confessing to him. You remember thinking how confessing felt like putting a delicate unbloomed flower in someone's hand and whether the bud gets to bloom or not, depends on the person you're confessing to.

If only you had known of the thorns you would be exposed to, back then, you'd never have confessed.

The door swings open softly and Namjoon walks in. "Good morning, Y/N."

"Good morning," you greet him back with a smile.

"So what's on card for today?" He asks before taking his usual seat.

"There's nothing much for today, just rehearsals and then you have a v-live," you mumble. "But firstly I need to do your weekly facial."

He huffs. "Is it the one that requires you putting a lot of slimy stuff on my face and it stays on for like thirty minutes?"

"Yep," you reply with a light laugh. Despite what he says, you have learnt that Namjoon quite enjoys his facial sessions. Unlike a certain someone.

Your smile falters and your sudden change of mood doesn't go unnoticed by Namjoon.

"Have you considered speaking to Jungkook?" He asks after a brief moment of silence.

You're taken aback by his words. Namjoon has always avoided speaking on the matter. He has never even queried as to what you do with the flowers. Hence, his direct way of questioning has you fumbling with words.

"I d–haven't," you change your wording, fearing 'I don't want to', might just be a little too rude.

However, your choice of answer is put to vain with the very next question he asks. "Do you want to?"

"I don't want to," you softly shake your head, mildly afraid how Namjoon will interpret it.

He simply nods, without any trace of judgement. "I'm not saying this because I'm picking sides, but I have known Jungkook since he was a kid and I can tell that he really is sorry.

"Whether to forgive him or not, is completely on you. But put a little trust on him that he must have some reason behind doing what he did. Just hear him out once."

You keep quiet, unsure what to say. Thankfully, Namjoon understands that and soon changes the topic of conversation to something more light-hearted.

Hours later, when everything comes to a close and it's time for you to leave, you find yourself hesitating. Namjoon's words simply refuse to leave your mind. Put a little trust in him. How can you, when he's let you down in every way possible? When he has betrayed your trust in ways that still keep hurting you?

You gulp when you realise there's probably no end to the hurting until you have a chat with Jungkook and hear his side. At least, that way you will know his reasoning behind everything and it will hopefully stop your self loathing for putting the note in his bag. Even if all he gives is excuses, you'd at least have the satisfaction of having heard him out. Later maybe a week, or a month from now, when your emotions subside, you wouldn't have this unscratched itch of not knowing what he had to say.

Maybe, maybe it's for the best that you talk to him.

—-----------------------------------------------------

"Come in," Jungkook calls out in response to the knock at his door and is visibly surprised when you walk in. He quickly gets up from his seat, stuffs his phone in his pocket and with a nervous voice asks, "would you like some coffee?"

You shake your head. You're not here for coffee. "No, thank you. I'm here to talk to you."

He nods as his nervousness spikes. This is what he has wanted and hoped for so long, but now that you're here, he doubts you will believe him. What if you don't? Even worse, what if you do and still don't forgive him?

The both of you get seated and your fingers anxiously play with the strap of your handbag. "What is it that you have been wanting to tell me?"

Jungkook sighs. Pushing the nervousness away, he knows that the only thing in his power is to tell you his side of things. Otherwise, he's powerless.

"For the things I said last day, to make sense, I would have to mention that I like you," he cannot find it in himself to look at you as he says that. "I've liked you for a long time."

The words take you by surprise, and your mouth parts in shock. The shock then morphs into disbelief and denial. He did not just confess to liking you.

"But it's never that simple when you're a famous K-pop idol," something bitter coats his words and he looks defeated. "The consequences of dating me, is something that one doesn't realise until they face it for themselves."

Jungkook has grown a thick skin. But you? He doesn't want you to be someone who ever has to go through things that require you to build a thick skin. He doubts he will ever forgive himself if he were to see you beaten up by harsh words and constant criticism, all because of your association to him.

"I wanted to tell you how I felt but just the sheer terror of what you may have to go through, kept me from doing so," an unwanted shiver runs through his body when he recalls the moments where the fluttering in his chest would always be accompanied by a heavy sinking in his stomach. "It wasn't my choice to stress about these things but I couldn't help myself considering that associating with me had consequences."

Your face falls with each word that leaves his lips.

"It was choosing between giving into my feelings and listening to logic. I tried to be logical and practical for as long as I could. Until, I just couldn't," a humourless chuckle escapes his lips. "I remember thinking that I just need to tell you how you make me feel."

He doesn't voice how there was a part of him that had wished you'd not reciprocate his feelings. That way, even after his sheer selfishness, things would be fine.

"It was around the time I decided on confessing to you, that I learnt about the proposition from Niki's agency. Call me incredibly stupid but I thought if I did this, I'd at least do something instead of sitting and dreading with my hands tied." Jungkook shakes his head, finding it cruel that even after all this, he somehow managed to mess everything up.

Your mouth parts unknowingly when the pieces click. Jungkook's decision to date Niki for the cameras, didn't come out of nowhere and it wasn't as far-fetched as you thought. His decision had come from a place of anxiety where he felt powerless.

"But then I found that note," he cannot help but recall that day fondly. He felt like a kid and often found himself smiling, looking into the mirror. However, that joy was soon wiped off when the situation sank in. "I was so excited and happy, but then I realised that I had already agreed to date Niki."

You hardly blink as Jungkook speaks and due to that, you don't miss the way a smile appears on his lips. But it's gone as soon as it appears, as if he catches himself slipping and reprimands himself for it. It makes you consider the possibility if he was receptive to your confession in a positive way.

"I didn't know what to do, I couldn't imagine letting you know that I felt the same but then going out and holding another woman's hand. Even if it's for the cameras, it's–," he closes his eyes shut as if pained, "–it's horrible."

"I couldn't do that but I also needed to make a quick decision. I thought the only way to go about things was to postpone answering your confession. After the announcement of the breakup with Niki, I thought I could talk to you then and clear things out. At that moment, that was the only option that made sense to me."

His words take you back to the day when you were filled with nervous excitement only for it to be replaced with dread and heartbreak when you learnt that Jungkook had replaced you as his makeup artist, just like that.

"It was stupid, I know," he mutters in a small voice. "I don't have anything to say in my defence except for admitting that I messed things up and I didn't realise what it must have looked like to you, until it was too late."

He paused for a few moments, looking exhausted. "I-I am sorry for everything. I know it's hard to believe but hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. I really just wanted to make things right. If you can, please, forgive me."

You sense that to be the end of everything Jungkook had to say. The way he looks at the floor and refuses to look at you, makes you want to comfort him. But your feelings are too muddled, you're too confused and there's a lot that you have learnt that has left you surprised. You don't think you're in the state of mind to make decisions now.

"Thank you for telling me everything," you keep your voice soft. It gives Jungkook the courage to finally look up at you and his breath hitches when he realises you aren't looking at him with your gaze filled with hate and pain. It gives him hope. "But I need some time to process everything."

Jungkook nods, knowing that's the best he can ask for at the moment. He's relieved that you aren't dismissing his words and feels incredibly grateful that you are taking time to think things through. He knows that you taking time is more for yourself than for him, but there's a hint of a promise that this is not the end of the conversation, that you'll talk to him again. And that's more than anything Jungkook can ever ask for.

—-----------------------------------------------------

The last few days, your mind has been completely occupied with Jungkook's words. Not only his words but also the way he looked refuses to leave your mind. You couldn't find it in yourself to doubt his genuineness and the fact that he was feeling terrible, was displayed in green neon lights.

You had to remind yourself repeatedly that it isn't only about how he feels. You should cater to your feelings and figure out what to do next.

There was also the new revelation that Jungkook liked you. Quite honestly, you didn't know what to do with that information. The whole conversation was melancholic and it must have rubbed off on you for you didn't feel the joy one usually does on learning that their crush likes them back.

Everything was quite confusing. So much so, that it had taken an entirety of five days for you to sort out your thoughts and approach Jungkook.

He sits across from you in a pale blue shirt and black trousers, his body language screams that he's nervous and oddly enough it comforts you to know that you aren't the only one feeling that way.

"After learning everything, I couldn't help but wish you had communicated before. It would have saved the both of us a lot of hurt," you begin with a sombre tone, feeling your heart hurt at the constant overthinking you have had to go through. "Things might have been simpler that way."

"I know," Jungkook nods, not having a single word to defend himself with.

You look at him a moment longer wondering if he would try providing you with a reason for his lack of communication. When he doesn't, you're confused how you're supposed to perceive it.

On one hand, you'd have liked for him to actually have a proper reason. On the other, you're sure Jungkook is aware of his mistakes and his lack of response somehow gives the impression that he's owning up to everything without making excuses.

"But what's done is done and there's no changing it," you continue after a small sigh. "It's for the best that we move on from it."

Jungkook's heart shrinks. By moving on do you mean just never acknowledging the feelings you both share for each other? That's exactly what comes to his mind because you feeling the same way you did, despite the hurt he has caused you, sounds too good to be true. He cannot be shameless either to ask you about it directly. He will take whatever you will give him.

Instead, he asks a question which he knows would eat him alive if he doesn't voice it. "Can you forgive me?"

"I wouldn't have asked for the both of us to move on, if I hadn't already," and then you do something that makes Jungkook feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off from his chest. You smile at him.

Forgiving Jungkook wasn't easy. You wanted to hold on to the anger because your pride was hurt and most importantly, you were scared of getting hurt again. But then you also had to think through things logically.

Jungkook has never had it easy with fame. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the way he has always been under scrutiny and his sudden loss of control over his own life. With time, he learnt that it was for the best to not pay attention to the people who weren't even familiar with him.

He could overlook and turn deaf to the hate that's thrown his way. However, his loved ones being targeted is something that fills him with guilt to an inexplicable amount. You have seen it yourself.

The incident isn't that old. A year back, Jungkook had gone out with a bunch of his childhood friends. He was pictured closing the car door for one of them, who so happened to be a girl. That one single shot was enough for the media and internet to decide there must be something more than platonic going between the two.

You remember the way Jungkook was so troubled and absolutely heartbroken with the hate and threats that were aimed at his friend, for something so simple and it was visible to everyone that he blamed himself for it.

You cannot imagine what kind of stones would be thrown at you if word got out. The information that you're his makeup artist would be a cherry on top. Gold digger, witch, slut, whore; some of the less colourful terms.

Seeing the way Jungkook suffered, it made sense why he would be so scared to be open about his feelings. You could imagine yourself feeling the same way had it been you being in his place. Seeing someone you care for, getting hate that they absolutely don't deserve, is painful enough for one to believe that it's for the best to keep distance.

You also imagined what you would have felt had Jungkook admitted his feelings and had told you about the fake dating. Yes, you'd have the knowledge that there was nothing real between him and Niki. However, you'd also have to see them all over the internet and watch people go on and on about how perfect they are. You'd be aware that Jungkook likes you, but you'd also be bitter about how the beginning of your relationship is marked with him publicly dating someone else. It's not exactly a nice feeling.

One could argue that the way events have turned out, they aren't perfect either. But there's nothing going on between Jungkook and you. At least, not yet.

That's one thing that you both need to talk about and you really want to clear out everything, at once. Who knows what miscommunication would occur if things were left unsaid, again?

"I would never intentionally hurt you, Y/N,"Jungkook squirms a little in his seat, ignoring the absence of the weight that has been eating him alive for days. He thinks you're going easy on him and he thinks he doesn't deserve it.

"I am choosing to trust your words," you reply, having a sense of the turmoil Jungkook seems to be going through. The fact that he is always hard on himself is not unknown to you. "All I ask from you is to not break my trust. And for you to accept that you do not have to burden yourself with responsibilities."

Jungkook knows it's hard for him to not feel like there's always a bunch of responsibilities on his shoulder. Especially when one moment of misjudgement can cause irreversible damage. Despite that, he feels a sense of warmth spread throughout his body at your words.

"I'll try."

You shoot Jungkook another smile; the second one this evening and he can't help but think that you should really stop giving him hope.

"There's one more thing that we need to talk about," your cheeks turn red and much like Jungkook earlier, it's your turn to squirm in your seat. "You said something about liking me."

You feel awkward at the choice of your words but then you aren't brave enough to start by mentioning your note of confession.

Jungkook's eyes turn as wide as saucers and his whole face flushes to match the shade of your cheeks. He really wasn't expecting for you to bring it up. "Umm yeah," he nods.

You feel a spark of impatience and annoyance at his short response. You took it upon yourself to bring the topic to the table and he cannot just spill everything, already? Why make it more difficult for you?

"Yeah…..so?" You look at him with your brows raised, trying your best to ignore the way you feel like a three year old shy girl, on the inside.

"I–I do like you," he stutters and looks away, for the umpteenth time, unable to meet your eyes.

Your heart takes a fucking long jump. Who would have thought Jeon Jungkook would be so shy about admitting his feelings?

"What should we do about it?" You intentionally use the 'we' for Jungkook to catch the hint that you want to do something about it.

But of course, he doesn't.

He speaks sullenly, "I have lost the right to have a say in the matter."

"I want you to have a say in the matter. Tell me, Jungkook, what do you want?" You refuse to let go of the conversation and for Jungkook to let his guilt swallow him. He messed up, there's no denying that. But you could always acknowledge the fact that his heart was in the right place.

Feelings of frustration makes his throat clogged up . "I just want to go back and redo things in a different way."

"That's not possible. What do you want to do now?"

He knows what he wants but voicing it, feels being ungrateful towards your forgiveness. It feels like he's being greedy. "What I do want, feels like too much to ask for."

"You'll never know until you ask for it."

He sighs and reminds himself that you're asking him about the romantic feelings he has admitted to harbouring towards you. He reminds himself to not be selfish and make it about his guilt. If you want to know, he will tell you and he will be honest about it.

"I want to be with you," his admission is made in a small voice but it doesn't hide the clarity his words have.

Your breath hitches and you feel the soft pitter patter of your heart that you had missed when he admitted his feelings for you the first time around.

"When does this fake relationship of yours end?"

"A month from now."

You nod. "A month from now, take me out on a date and we will see."

Jungkook's eyes snap to yours, not having expected you to speak those words. You shoot him a small smile before getting up and leaving the room.

—-----------------------------------------------------

SIX MONTHS LATER

"I swear to god, if you don't stay still, I'll intentionally ruin your makeup."

Your threatening low tone goes in through one ear and comes out of the other. "You could never do that."

"Don't test my limits."

A pout makes its appearance. "But that's my favourite thing to do."

You sigh in both astonishment and in love.

How do you manage to repeat the same routine with the same man everyday and never get tired of it? Maybe it has everything to do with the way your heart keeps stuttering around this man.

No, the man sitting in front of you, is not the global superstar Jeon Jungkook.

The man sitting in front of you is your boyfriend, Jungkook.

The official tag on your relationship was put four months ago, after a month of going out on dates. When you say going out, you mean staying in the hybe building and arranging dates in as innovative a way as one can.

The month in which Jungkook had to pretend to be Nikki's boyfriend only proved to you why it would have been difficult for you had you and Jungkook actually been a thing at the time. It was already painful and as petty and irrational as it may sound, it also made you jealous when you would see articles of the two of them. You're not quite sure how humilated you would have felt if you two were to be dating at the time and to see people comment on how they are a match made in heaven.

That one month, for Jungkook, was a mix of everything. The beginning of the month came with constant doubts and shame where he wondered what he should do when the month is up. He wanted you but he didn't really think he deserved you. But then he had to make up his mind; he made a mistake and he always acknowledged that but it would be so incredibly foolish if he were to let that stop him from being with you. After a week or so, he had made up his mind. He messed up, but boy if he wasn't going to make up for it.

That whole month was spent with him brainstorming ideas on how he can show his sincerity and be a better man. Somewhere along the line, he had opened up to Niki about it and there's just a hundred percent chance that if he's smiling wide in one of those paparazzi pictures, he's talking about you.

Jungkook has been nothing but the best boyfriend you could have ever asked for. Any hurt or doubt was washed away soon after the both of you started going out. Being with Jungkook was so much more than you could have ever imagined.

A month after being together, you were back as Jungkook's make-up artist. It was the best way to go about it as it would keep the both of you away from suspicious eyes and give the both of you ample amount of time to spend with each other.

You both are aware that at some point, you'd have to inform the agency of the nature of your relationship as that'd be better than them finding it out from other sources. You're not quite sure what would be left of your job, but Jungkook seems quite sure that you won't be fired and that the members together, would somehow manage the higher authorities to make their rules more flexible.

Jungkook isn't worried about the consequences with hybe, but he still finds himself stressing about the day the news becomes public. That is where you reassure him, that whatever happens, you both will get through it, together. You also remind him to not fret about it too much, because there's a long way to go before things are made public. For the time being, it's just the two of you.

"No wait, that's actually my second favourite thing," Jungkook corrects himself. "My top favourite might just be kissing you."

You fight the blush trying to make an appearance and ask, "might?"

"The last time you kissed me was ten minutes ago. Forgive me for forgetting what it was like to be kissed by you."

As cute and adorable as Jeon Jungkook might be in front of the cameras, you have recently learned that he's just as sly and playful when he wants to be.

"Will you stay still if I kiss you?"

"Kiss me first and then you shall have your answer."

So you do.

Your soft lips are welcomed eagerly by his and they move against each other, tenderly without a hint of rush. Your breaths mingle and soft sighs escape as your hands get tangled in his hair.

When you part, there's only a hair's gap between the two of you, "So what's the verdict?"

Jungkook's doe eyes appear dazed as he looks at you. "Well my brain has turned into a mush, so you can totally expect me to stay still."

You giggle and the sound of it warms Jungkook's heart like nothing ever has.

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: i was so anxious about making this so long especially the Taehyung part but then the Taehyung part is something that happened to me irl, so i also just wanted it to be as real as possible. For Jimin, it just didn't feel right for the reader to agree to go out or be with Jimin without him earning it. But then, it also didn't quite fit in this reaction thing, if that makes sense? If y'all want some good ol' grovelling from this Jimin in a one-shot i will see what I can come up with 😉.

That being said, let me know what you thought of this! (This really was a lot of work, so your words would be greatest source of encouragement and achievement for me). Also, if you like my work and wish to have access to all my works before anyone else, here's my patreon!

Hope you enjoyed reading this!

464 notes · View notes

7brownsuga7 · 5 months

Note

stepdad taehyung fucking reader in her sleep, she tries to run away but can't due to his hold on her

Sorry for the long wait. Hope you enjoy ;)

Sleep tight | KTH

Taehyung x fem reader

Word count: 1k+

Genre, warnings & contexts: smut drabble - minors DNI. Smut, unprotected sex, angst, infidelity, taboo, forceful, dominance, advantage taking, age gap, dick sucking

You knew it was wrong to think and dream about your stepdad. But you couldn’t help but to think about his alluring brown eyes that would capture your every little move, a sly smirk written on his face as he would tease you. His gentle fingers that would brush against your skin as he made his way around you. The same fingers that would caress your skin whenever you were sad. His soft lips that spoke kind and reassuring words to you.

You couldn’t help but to feel wet whenever he was around. It was natural for you, ever since your mum introduced him to you. You couldn’t help but feel the tingle and throbbing sensation down there.

You would never actually act out on it, it was simply just your little secret fantasy.

You knew it was wrong, but yet you lay there in nothing but your oversized shirt, dreaming about the things you wish he would do to you. Your ass slightly perked out, showing your bare skin and the wetness of your pussy.

It’s when you can actually feel his hands on you in your dream that causes you to stir awake. You feel his cock stretch out your pussy as he gently pushes it in.

You whimper as he begins to work inside of you, not believing what’s actually happening.

“Shh, it’s okay it’s okay baby” his thrusts are slow as you try to move away from his hold, mumbling a no that’s hidden by his kiss to your lips.

You’re in a daze unable to fully comprehend the turn of events.

You wanted this - fantasised about it, but to have it actually happen is something you never would have expected.

You can’t help but to let the tears escape as his thrusts become more intense, a few whines leaving your plump lips.

“Don’t cry princess” his thumb wipes your tears which comforts you despite his harsh thrusts that are the complete opposite, that has you shoved further into your mattress and pillow

Your whines and pleads are almost drowned out by his grunts every-time he sees your pussy grip on his cock.

You’re taking him so well, so so well. And he reminds himself to tell you.

His hands come to your waist to pull you up slightly, so there’s a slight arch to your back. You grip at the covers and grit your teeth when he begins to guide your ass back onto his pelvis, every inch of his cock penetrating you and stretching you out entirely.

“I’ve been wanting this for so long” he grunts as he takes one hand to stroke your cheek that’s still wet from the tears. His thumb runs down to your swollen lips and allows you to suck it.

He removes his thumb from your mouth and lets it rub against your puckered hole. The moisture from your saliva making a great lubricant as he continues to rub the spot.

He slows down his pace, wanting to relish in this moment. He closes his eyes taking everything in. Your soft moans to the sound of your skin against his. The wetness of your pussy creating the perfect lullaby that will soon send him over the edge. The way your shirt rides up, exposing your bare back and ass that’s arched just for him.

His strokes are slow and deep, hitting your spot every time. He loves seeing his cock disappear inside of you, swallowed by the warmth and wetness of your insides.

Your grip still firm on the covers, you can feel yourself begin to cum. You’ve been trying to run away from his cock since he put it in you, it being too much for you to take especially when he fucks you with so much precision, ensuring that you take every inch of him. It was hard to escape when he had a hold on you. And you were so tired and fucked out that you stood no chance against him.

“Ugh please, please it’s too much” you try to move forward but his hold on your waist only tightens. “I know, I know. You’re doing so good” he swiftly licks his lips before biting down on his bottom lip.

“I’m gonna cum. Please, please” your moans increase in volume, as he continues to guide your ass back onto him. He caresses your soft skin, admiring the way it lightly ricochets.

You shake.

Your body becomes a limp mess as you cum on his dick, your cream coating it as he continues his thrusts.

He’s never heard you be so vocal before, and although he wants to hear the sweet sound of your moans - he doesn’t want to disturb anyone- or better yet, be disturbed.

“Shh baby before someone hears”

He pushes you down and burries himself deep inside of you, a firm hand on the back of your neck as you lose your breath, your words stuck in your throat.

You haven’t fully recovered from your orgasm and yet you can already feel another one approach.

He lets himself stay buried inside of you, completely still as he runs his hand down your spine, easing you from your orgasm.

He lifts up, allowing only his tip to stay inside. Your cream and juices decorate his length.

When he sees you’ve calmed down, breath returning back to normal - does he continue his slow thrusts.

He can feel his orgasm approach with each stroke, each moan, and each clench of your pussy as another mini orgasm takes place.

As much as he wants to cum inside you, he has to have some restraint. So he’ll settle on in your mouth instead.

“Hmmm I’m gonna cum” he taps your ass a few times and tells you to roll over on your back. You lean up a bit, both elbows rested behind you for support as you watch him jack himself off. His eyes watch yours, the innocence behind them. The tears that stain your cheeks. Your swollen lips that will soon be wrapped around his cock.

He hovers over you taking in every bit of you as he continues to stroke his cock. It’s when he catches your eyes that watch him, never leaving his, that makes his cock twitch.

You notice and open your mouth.

Such a good girl. He smiles to himself as he shoves himself in your mouth, your tongue gliding over his length as he grabs the back of your head with his hand and guides you back and forth.

“Fuck, you’re so good, such a good girl” he hisses. Your eyes are going to be the end of him, he knows he won’t last long with you watching him like that.

You gag around him, fully realising how big he is. He can’t even fit all of himself in your mouth.

Your hands come up to his waist as he continues to face fuck you, in hopes that he would ease up. He listens to you and lets go of your head.

You circle your tongue around his tip, humming to yourself, already feeling the taste of his pre cum.

“Right there. Rig-“

You swallow every bit of his cum. His head falling back and eyes closed as he tries to come down from his high.

When he calms down, his hand caresses your chin, thumb resting against your cheek.

“What are you doing to me princess?”

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euphoricfilter · 5 months

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. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. night short #32

super short horny thought for tae

sleepy mornings where your pussy is still sore, poor little clit overstimulated- puffy, folds still tacky with your arousal

and taehyung wouldn’t be able to help it, not as the sheets slip down your body and he catches sight of how pretty you are, cock hardening under the sheets

greedy fingers tugging at your hips, pulling your body closer to him until precum smears over your inner thigh. a whine bubbling up your throat, hands pressing to his chest because you’re just too sore

but you’d let him sink just the tip inside, cunt greedy as it clenches around the intrusion, dull aching pleasure making your clit throb as taehyung’s hand wraps around his length, jacking himself off until he’s cumming between your walls, soothed with his warm milky release

and he’s make you push it out, fingers scooping it up only so he can smear it across the rest of your puffy pussy, thumb giving your clit a little more attention until you’re cumming too

night shorts masterlist

#bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut #bts #bts x reader #taehyung #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #kim taehyung #taehyung imagine #taehyung scenarios #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung smut #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung fanfic

628 notes · View notes

nmjoo-n · 2 years

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SUGAR MOON 🥐 kim taehyung.

pair. art student! taehyung x fem! reader | genre. paris in the 50’s, arranged marriage, angst, romance, smut | warnings. profanity, smoking, possessiveness, pet names, jealousy, unprotected intercourse, oral sex, masturbation, fingering, age gap, breeding kink, virgin mc | word count. 7.1k

synopsis. “tell me, sweetheart, what will your boyfriend say about me being here in the middle of the night?” or kim taehyung won’t let anyone else have you. you’ve been promised to him, after all.

A small life, a small happiness.

These were the things that had been promised to you by your parents, Taehyung didn’t doubt it one fucking bit. Nothing had been shown to you, nothing he could use, nothing to stimulate that pretty little mind of yours. You were a blank canvas.

Someone he could taint. His womanizer ways had done their rounds across Paris, but no one ever actually thought there would come a time where Kim Taehyung, successor of the Kim’s and their jewelry empire, a business booming since the early 20’s, would settle down. They were wrong, of course.

Taehyung wasn’t planning on getting married and staying married, especially to such an inexperienced girl such as yourself, fresh out of her private academy, and working under her daddy as a typist, a receptionist. At least not at first. Not until he met with you in person.

Then, he couldn’t wait. After that first meeting, witnessing your shaking hands and soft voice as you greeted him—you had his cock leaking in seconds. No other woman had elicited such a reaction out of him, none that mattered. None he could remember the name of. So, naturally, he was attracted. Challenged. Interested.

It was a brief brunch, and an extremely pretentious one. Taehyung’s fingers had been itching for a cigarette the entire time, as your mother went on and on about your excellent grades and general impression. His father, an always serious man, all about his money and good name, had managed to snick cognac in his coffee without anyone noticing—anyone except you.

Taehyung’s eyes had caught your amused ones, as you rose a satin gloved hand to your red lips, pressing two digits against that beautiful mouth to keep you from laughing. He fell back on his chair then, manspreading even further, playing with the serviette in his hand, watching you closely.

You hadn’t touched your food. Out of nervousness, perhaps. He liked his women to eat, to indulge themselves in whatever pleases them most. You’d learn that. What else, then… your pinned hair, perfectly styled to fit the shape of your face, your cute nose, and rosy cheeks. The modest neckline of your dress. Hiding just enough, leaving the rest up to the imagination. Carefully chosen he concludes. By the mother. For this engagement.

What a fucking joke. He hated pretending the most. He was an artist; a free mind, someone that couldn’t be caged, someone that did not do well in circumstances as preposterous as these, so staged, so rehearsed, so—fake. If he had it his way, and his father knows this the best, he’d take you away from this table, away from all this boring talk between parents, a bidding war he’s afraid, for what price you’d be sold to him for. Well, that can’t have you feeling comfortable, and no one would want his fiancée to be dreading her own wedding day, would they?

He’s doing it for your future, he reasons.

“Excuse us, esteemed relatives,” he cuts his mother off, and stands up, mischievous gaze piercing through you. “We have greater matters to attend, don’t we sweetheart?”

You blushed immediately under the attention, clearly never having gone against anything in your life. A rule player, staying inside the box. Taehyung wanted to cut that box open, tear through it like a Christmas present, and pick you up, play with you for hours, steal that virginity, that innocence away.

It was at that first meeting, that he took you to his favorite bakery, bought you pain au chocolat, and watched you eat as he smoked, hot chocolate staining your top lip a delicious dark color. Taehyung chuckled at your child like reaction upon noticing your new bittersweet mustache, and decided he’d kiss you that day. Not then, you’d probably run off on him if he’d done it then.

“Have you no decency to tell me of my state?” You smack him playfully on the arm, and his smirk only deepens.

“And miss that adorable look on your face? Not a chance, sweetheart.”

Later. At his house, maybe, after he’s certain of your hold on him, and wants to explore it more. Explore you more. The fabric of your dress was hugging your waist exquisitely, dangerously, those heels doing nothing for you next to him. Eight years of a difference, yet he’s known of you for so long. Has seen you from afar, a mere girl with pigtails, no one he’d pay any mind to, just a shadowy figure in the background of his life, but always the promise hung; the promise between your families, the inevitable elopement.

But you were a tough woman, weren’t you? You made him fight for you. There had been a shy goodbye and then your back, walking away from him in a hurry, afraid to stick around for any more that you’d already have. That had been for the better, Taehyung mused to himself over another of many, many a cigarette. Tobacco had been a friend of his since the young age of seventeen, a way to fit in with the other teenagers and their self destructing tendencies. He had those too, he convinced himself. He had those too, but he also had his pencils and papers.

Taehyung had his art, and his music, and he was never alone. He’d witnessed no death, no poverty, no war, and so for that reason he was an insufferable dreamer, a delicate person. But he tried to see those things, tried to be a part of it all, to help, or to imitate—naturally, those people had taken and taken and taken from him, had used him for his warmth, his money, and reassured future, as they had to, at some point, unfortunately return back to their tiny, freezing apartments to starve and work minimum wage industrial jobs as he remained free to parade around Paris, wearing his expensive tailored suits and leather boots, studying art, not a care in the fucking world.

He was aware of this, too. It made no difference. He came from a family of immigrants, people who put in a great deal of effort to their endeavors. His father alongside his uncle had opened their first jewelry shop in 1922, amidst terrible, dark times, catering exclusively to the rich folk of Paris, investing every last penny they had to them, until the favor was returned. Now, boutiques across France, across Europe. Thirty-four years later.

All the whorehouses in Paris could not have prepared him for what he was about find out. For he’s never been truly jealous of anyone, has had no insecurities, no doubt of who he was. Taehyung was wanted by both men and women, divulged in sexual acts with all who interested him, never particularly caring for gender or class. People were all the same to him—everyone had a price, a reason. But not you, not to him. The more he was away from you, the stronger his feelings grew.

You had a little boyfriend; he learns from the driver he had ordered to follow you around. Someone insignificant, an electrician—so it was honest work you were looking for. A small life, a small happiness. Oh, to see your parents’ faces when they found out about this; how their words had backfired. Kim Taehyung came second to no one, and especially not a country boy trying to make it in the big, scary world. He had his ways of getting exactly what he wanted. That is to say, he hired a friend of his fathers to scare him off, to warn him against you. And if that didn’t work, if there was love involved—well, he couldn’t have that, could he?

You were promised to him first. He wouldn’t let anyone else have you. Especially that tight cunt, those cherry red lips. It went without fucking saying—he had to see you again. Unsupervised. Preferably, naked, underneath him.

So, he goes to your house. Picks up a few pebbles and tries for several windows, cigarette in mouth, dark brown curls falling over his eyes. You’re bound to answer to one. He persists, until he sees light coming from the last window at the corner of the stone building, a familiar shadow through the curtains.

Taehyung waits. It’s well past midnight, and you look terrified, but so, so beautiful. Fuckable, in your pink robe and loose hair. He wants to climb up the wall and fuck you right there, against that very window. He wonders if you’d let him, if you’d let go for him.

“My goodness, what are you doing here, Taehyung?” A protective hand over your chest, you look down at him perplexed, but—excited.

He takes the cig out his mouth, flicks the ashes off. “I can’t stop thinking about you, darling.”

He sees your eyes widen, those kissable lips part in an inaudible gasp. He smiles fondly, the thought of you half asleep, still warm from dreams, stirring because of him and his uncontrollable desires—oh, he’d marry you right then if he could. Such were his feelings for you.

“But you can’t be here! My parents—wait, are you drunk?”

Oops. He stumbled forward, discarding his suit jacket, rolling the sleeves of his white shirt up to his forearms, stick between his lopsided lips.

“Guilty as charged, sweetheart,” he mumbles into the night. “I’m coming up.”

“Good lord, you’re not.”

“I am.”

A pause, as he begins his ascend up the front wall of your house. “You are a lunatic, Kim Taehyung. Absolutely.”

For you, perhaps. He’s climbed before, countless times actually, all involving rebellion and illegal activities, but no matter. This time he’s climbing for love, for a chance to get to know the real you, not the timid girl you are during the day, but the hidden side, the moon of you. He’d get it out of you, he’s good at that. And when he does, Taehyung will have his way with you. His cock stirs in the mere thought of it.

You make way for him to jump inside your bedroom, still shaken from the fact he can even do something like that. To see you. You must be dreaming. But no, that can’t be, because there he stands, in all his handsomeness, smelling of cigarettes and expensive cologne, curls bouncing with his every move. And he’s moving towards you.

“How is my favorite girl doing?”

Taehyung sees the flush on your bare neck, rising higher. He sees your hands coming together in front of you, as you instinctively step back from him, a prey in front of a hunter.

“This is inappropriate,” you mutter to yourself, blinking fast.

His lips curve slightly. “Yet, you let me in.”

Your eyes snap back at his. “I had no choice!”

He ignores this, instead familiarizes himself with your bedroom, the pastel colors, the minimal furniture, the piles of books. Your hairbrush, your mirror. Things you’ve used, things that smell like you. You were killing him, playing with the heartstrings of his goddamn heart. How can a girl so perfect as you, his promised fiancée, have someone else? Be touched by another man, loved by another man?

Jealousy has never felt uglier inside him.

“Tell me, sweetheart, what will your boyfriend say about me being here in the middle of the night?”

Your hip hits the corner of your desk, and you hiss quietly. You’re shocked by his words, and he doesn’t fault you. How could he know, after all. Right?

“Who told you this?” You question, and he grabs the end of your robe’s belt, feeling the lace of it.

“Confidential,” he replies simply. “You should know now, darling, I don’t share well. The woman that I’ll love will be my woman only.”

“Is that right?” You test him, he can see. A look of defiance so different from the submissive girl he met at that restaurant all those weeks ago.

He hums, enjoying your little power play. “That is exactly right, pretty thing. Care to elaborate on this secret of yours?” He kisses two fingers, places them on top of the place where his heart rests. “I promise it will stay with me.”

You don’t look convinced. You squirm and touch your hair. Another habit. You’re transparent to him, so easy to read, to decipher. Honest. Your ways do not betray you. To have someone to trust… it was incredibly valuable to Taehyung. Unheard of in the circles he ran, the family he was raised in. A salvation, then. You came to him as a small bird—what if he taught you how to fly?

“You don’t want to see me angry, sweetheart. Use your words,” he threatened, leaning against your closet, all the way on the other side of your bed, unmade and slept in.

In the dim light of your nightstand lamp, you looked dreamt up. Like a wet dream designed by his subconscious to haunt him, a personal Hell. To look but not to touch. Forbidden fruit, and everyone knows the story…

“I met him a year ago. He came for a routine check up on the power lines,” you started to explain, not moving an inch, afraid that if you did Taehyung would move as well. “I… He was kind to me. I’ve been seeing him secretly ever since.”

“Has he touched you?”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a simple question, darling, isn’t it? Has.he.touched.you?”

You huffed an incredulous laugh, as if offended. You answer anyway. “We’ve only kissed, not that it’s any of your business.”

Taehyung nods his head slowly, pointing at the pack he took out of his trousers’ pocket. “May I?” But he doesn’t wait. Lighter on the edge of the cigarette, he inhales the smoke deeply, blowing it towards the ceiling, pondering over the information in his head.

“Kindness,” he says. “Is a tricky thing, isn’t it? Makes you feel guilty if you don’t give it back, if you don’t return it.”

Closing the distance between your bodies, he sees you cowering in the corner, but those eyes are anything but scared. You have a bite, it’s in there. Taehyung wonders how he can bring it out, test it.

“He loves me,” you retort, and you’re trying to sound convincing.

The question is to whom?

“Sweetheart, I do not doubt for one fucking minute that a man could have a pretty little thing like you and not be completely enamored. Only a fool would waste the opportunity.” You stay quiet, watching him stop by the foot of your bed, nothing but a mere two steps separating you now.

“Maybe he does, chances are he doesn’t. It matters little to me,” he pins you down with a strict look. “You’re to stop seeing him. I’m not a charitable person—you belong to me now. Am I making myself clear?”

The mask crumbles, the wounded girl appears. Tears glisten in the faint warm glow of the room, and Taehyung finds himself wanting to wipe them away, make them disappear. He didn’t mean to hurt you, to make you cry. He’s drunk, and he’s jealous, and he’s falling in love.

He’s the bird in the cage, flapping its wings, terrified, starved of genuine affection. His deflecting can only camouflage this truth for so long. It will shoot out like a slap in the face to render him speechless, and it will be soon. But for right now, as he stands in front of you, all he wants is to taste those lips, to try molding them into his own.

“You are cruel, Kim Taehyung. Marrying you would be a tragedy and a punishment,” you mutter, fighting back sobs, chin quivering.

He smiles, but it’s all teeth, he’s a wolf, and it’s fake, it’s forced, and his hands are shoved deep in his pockets, fingers clenching into fists, cigarette butt bitten into to keep from lashing out. Not going after the engagement earlier had been a tragedy, having to deal with the aftermath of not trying to get to know his own fiancée the punishment. But you had been young, and he had been too preoccupied with easy pussy and pretentious art to care. Now you hate him, and it feels unfair.

“What if I told you this person was only after your money, darling? Would that make you see?”

“Lies.”

Taehyung exhales through his nose, nostrils flaring. “I don’t lie, sweetheart, if there’s one thing to know about me it’s this. I have proof. He’s been stealing from this family and has been feeding you fairytales.”

You attack then, heading straight for his face. He grabs both your wrists, and immobilizes you instantly, spitting the cigarette out in fear of burning you. You stare at each other for what feels like ages, both panting, neither backing down.

“You’re trying to poison me,” you spit at him, pure hatred spread across your beautiful face. “Lock me up.”

He softens immediately, blinking down at you, snapping out of it. “I fed you hot chocolate, ordered flowers to your house every single day since I met you,” he whispers, trying to make you see reason. “I’ve known you since you were playing hide and seek with my younger sister, a girl no older than nine years of age—I’ve never had a reason to lie to you, to trick you. All I’m doing is trying to protect you. Neither of us had any control over our relationship, (Y/N), and I am truly sorry for that. Be it as it may, I now have a responsibility to you, to keep you out of harm’s way, to be truthful.”

Tears roll down your cheeks, and you look so confused, so fucking split into what you want to believe and what is real, that Taehyung can only pull you into his arms, let you come to terms with the fact. You don’t fight, you don’t even say anything, you just sob into his shirt quietly, overtaken by heartbreak. He sits you both down on the bed, and you fall into his lap—so easily, like you’ve done this a thousand times. His thoughts drift further, and he chastises himself; you’re in a vulnerable position, it’s late. He should leave you alone.

For the life of him, he can’t find the will to do it.

“What I said still stands,” he mumbles into your hair. “I will not apologize for the way I am. For as long as you’re mine, no one else will have you. I will kill anyone who dares to attempt messing with you.”

You sniffle and sigh, tear-stained bloodshot eyes looking back at him. “I had no idea you were like this.”

One side of his mouth curves slightly, hands coming to push hair back from your face. “You’ll get used to me. Give it some time.”

Your gaze moves across his features, studying him. A breath away. If he leaned in just a bit, he could take your mouth in his, devour you whole. He almost does. The hope that you might want anything to do with him is holding him back from doing so.

“Okay,” you say, and he exhales.

“What?”

“Okay,” you repeat, fingers coming to wipe at the wetness on your cheeks. “I’ll give you a chance. Please don’t make me regret it.”

His body physically aches from the effort he puts not to pounce on your right then and there, so instead he settles for a kiss on the forehead, short and painful. Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut, begs for you to stop wiggling on him.

“I fucking swear, darling. I’ll be good to you.”

He’s never promised anything to any woman before. He finds himself wanting to keep good on his words this time.

It’s exactly two weeks after his little break and entering fiasco that the preparations for the engagement party begin.

Your mother seemed to know Taehyung had spent majority of that night with you, if he were to judge by her inquisitive looks and overall effort to never leave her daughter unattended around him. That was well enough—he was a creative and innovative man, he always seemed to find a way around rules and indiscreet eyes.

He takes you to a movie screening one afternoon, and stares at your animated expressions the entire time. He smokes twice as much to resist the urge of putting his hands on you. He desperately wants to; he craves having you in his arms again, yearns for that sweet scent, those soft thighs rubbing against his erection, your breasts against his firm chest. Taehyung dreams of you often, dreams of those untouched folds he’s never seen, never tasted—he’s a savage diving headfirst into them, licking every last drop of your wetness, inhaling the smell of your virgin cunt, and imagines your desire to be touched by a man, him, your soon to be husband.

He comes into his hand every morning, wishing his palm was you around his raw cock, allowing him to invade you, to ravage you. He weaves his time, reassuring himself—all in good time. He’ll have you for eternity soon, and no forever will be enough for all he’s planned on doing with you.

“Tell me, sweetheart, do you drink?”

You look at him, eyelashes flattering innocently. “No, not really,” you confess, and you appear so cute to him, then, that he must make a move, it cannot be helped.

Taehyung kisses your temple affectionately, stopping you both in your tracks in the bustling streets of the 7th Arrondissement. You lean in for just a moment, overtaken, and he considers it a triumph, a step towards the right direction. He’ll spend the rest of his life proving himself to you, if that’s what it takes, just so he can kiss you like this.

“We can’t have that, can we?” He rhetorically asks, and takes your hand in his, draping it over his forearm. “You’re with me, now, you must divulge in the few pleasures that life has to offer, my darling.”

“No one has offered to show me,” you confess shyly.

Show you he does. He takes you to the restaurant he frequents at and orders the bottle of wine he loves the most, along with dinner. Taehyung fills your glass and cuts your steak in bite sized pieces when it arrives. He advices you to sniff at the red colored alcohol first, before closing your eyes and having a taste.

You’re the most special kind of angel doing exactly as you’re told, taking a small sip of the aged wine. He watches, breath bated. When you open your eyes, the fascination on your face makes him smile brightly, proudly.

“Oh, it’s wonderful!”

“That’s my girl.”

Your fiancée leans back in his chair and lights a cigarette as you contently chew your food, drink your wine. He stares in awe, mesmerized by your genuine nature. You blush under his intense gaze.

“Won’t you eat?” You ask, biting your pink lips.

Taehyung can’t help but smirk at that. “Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. I’ll eat later, trust me.”

“You say it with such innuendo, I don’t understand—”

“Have you ever touched yourself, (Y/N)? Be honest with me.”

You choke on your food, eyes widening, coughing into your hand. Taehyung chuckles, offering you some water. You take it gratefully, chugging half the glass. He waits, amused, curious. A few people turn to look. He ignores them.

“That is not a proper question to ask a lady, Taehyung,” you scold him after you recover, fingers playing with your pearl necklace.

“You are to be my wife. I believe I can ask whatever I want,” he responds calmly.

You take a while to answer, instead turning to the wine for bravery.

“Why the interest?”

“Purely out of curiosity. I want to know what makes you feel good, sweetheart, for when I go down on that sweet cunt of yours.”

Your knife falls out of your hand and hits the floor at once. More people begin to tune into your conversation, intrigued. You look around, embarrassed and crouch to pick up your utensil. Taehyung turns his head to the side to blow smoke on the nosy woman on the table next to yours. She heaves, waving her hand and quickly minds her business.

“Did I say something to upset you?” He presses.

“You’re ridiculous and vulgar!” You half whisper, urging him to stop his teasing. “No one has ever spoken to me in this way.”

“Your boyfriend must’ve been a bore then, darling. I’m only stating my intentions. I would never dare to offend you.”

“It’s just as so.”

“Don’t be shy with me.”

“Yes!” You exclaim, and down the entire glass of wine. “Of course I have, who hasn’t? Now no more of this or I’m leaving.”

Taehyung shuts the fuck up at once.

He wishes he can say he was nothing but a total gentleman the entire evening, but that would a blatant fucking lie, wouldn’t it, because as soon as you get off the car to go into your house, he grabs you by the arm and kisses you deeply, hands ruining your hair. You moan and refute against his lips, but he holds you tighter, attempts to bruise your mouth so that you’d feel him there for a good fucking while.

He wishes he can say that had been all, but it wasn’t, because he takes you on the side of the building, covering you in shadows, and slips his hand under your dress, feeling your garters, touching the lace of your underwear. He rises your skirts, and fingers you right there, your parents just through the wall, wondering where their sweet little girl is.

You gasp and cling to him, bodies pressed together as he leaves you no room to think, to second guess, to breathe, even. He’s ruthless in his taking, selfish in his ambition to make you come for him, and so his digits curl in your slick, finding out the pleasure spots of you, desperate to have you screaming his name. You’re moving your hips towards his hand in no time, overwhelmed by how good it feels to have something inside you, fucking into you. Taehyung flattens his palm, and rubs your clit with the heel of it, long fingers edging you.

“Please, Taehyung… that feels too good, what are you doing to me?”

Your head falls on his shoulder, just as he hikes one of your thighs up his torso. He has half a mind to slam you down on his cock, fuck you in public, unashamed, outside your own fucking house, but he doesn’t, he won’t, because you’re important; because you matter, because he only wants to give you a little taste of what he can do for you.

“I’m stretching that little hole of yours, sweetheart. You’re so fucking wet for me, baby, so eager for my hand.”

Cupping you jaw, his tongue pushes past your lips in an open-mouthed kiss, eliciting more sounds from you, growing hotter, whinier, broken. Your pussy is making sounds too, all wet and filthy, and you seem to hear them as well, trying to pull away from his kiss, hide your face in his chest. He doesn’t let you, opens his eyes to see the pleasure written clearly on your features.

“You’ll come for me, won’t you, darling? All over my fingers? Let me see you, sweet thing, and then let me have a taste of those sweet juices. I bet you taste like pure fucking honey, I wanna bury myself in that cunt, drown in that cream. Won’t you give it to me, baby? C’mon, let go for me, let me see.”

When you come, you don’t seem to understand what you just did, what happened, and Taehyung is truly and completely awestruck by your innocence. He rubs circles on your clit until your body stops convulsing, and when he’s sure you’re okay to stand on your own, he kneels down in front of you on the dewy grass, gripping your hips, and diving in your folds, tongue lapping your slickness, so velvety, so goddamn tasty, before going for your clit, flicking the small bundle of nerves. You jerk away from him, the sensation unfamiliar. He brings you back, growls, grips tighter and does it again. And again. And again.

“Oh my God, I can’t, I can’t, I’m gonna—”

He moans against your cunt, uses his hand again to provide more friction for you to rub against. You do immediately, your pussy on fire, aching like never before, your stomach in knots. Then he starts mumbling like a mad man—I can feel it, sweetheart, let me have it, come in my mouth, give it to me my filthy fucking girl, my little slut, Heaven on earth on my tongue, I swear, one more, one more baby, come on.

You come again, and this time you see stars; your vision blurs, and you almost collapse on top of him, but Taehyung holds you up whilst not missing a single drop of your release, licking all over, chin coated in your juices, running down his neck. He fucking loves it all, loves you, loves your cunt. Then, he hears it.

Your dad calling out for you. While he’s still buried between your thighs, erection pressing against his trousers, his daughter fucked out and half naked for everyone to see. You panic immediately, pushing your skirt down, looking at the direction of the voice worried, dizzy still from your orgasms.

Taehyung pulls your panties over your core, and gets up quickly, giving you one last kiss before slapping your ass. You hit his chest alarmed, anxiety ridden.

“Go first, darling. I’ll see you later.”

“But—”

He fixes you with a stern look. “Be a good girl.”

You hesitantly go, your hand dropping from his. He hates having to let go of you like this but doesn’t want to get you in trouble with your father, either. He waits a bit for both voices to disappear behind doors, before going back to his car, parked a couple houses back. Taehyung can barely think straight with all the blood rushing to his cock.

He rubs himself like that, with the thought of you coming undone over him, your taste still in his mouth. When he spits into his palm, he imagines your perfect lips wrapping around his shaft, taking his entire length into your small hole, gagging over his girth. He barely cares for anyone passing, or his indecency.

He wants to fuck you raw, fuck you dumb. Put a ring on your finger, and knock some babies in you, then die a happy man.

All in good time.

With guests arriving and gifts piling up, Taehyung hadn’t got a single chance to talk to you. Just a quick hello and peck on the cheek, before your mothers dragged you away to fix your dress and powder your face up to her standards.

You’d grimaced at him as you were taken to the guest room of his house, and he gave you a small smile in return. This day was most important to them, a celebration of two of the most powerful and influential families in all of France, so in that way, you had to look your best, and even then, your best didn’t guarantee perfection.

Taehyung thought you looked fucking stunning in your champagne-colored gown, crystals cascading down your hair. A wish, or a dream, or both. He can only imagine what you’d look like in your wedding dress, walking towards him down the aisle, given to no one but him, his to love, to cherish, to protect, and to fuck. He gets excited with the mere thought, the prospect of having you all to himself, to do whatever he pleases.

His father slaps him on the shoulder once, already more than three glasses of bourbon in; he had a buzz about him, a friendly aura, when he was drunk. It was easier to talk to him, then, in his relaxed state. But Taehyung had nothing to say—not to him, at least. He’d been a pain in the fucking ass all these years, and now when it’s time to do his duty and marry into a good family, all of a sudden, he’s the picture-perfect authority.

Bullshit. He loosens his tie a little, the noose suddenly entirely too tight around his neck, and puts the cigarette back in between his fingers, running a hand through his tidy hair, with the brushed back curls.

At first, greeting people had been easy enough. All he had to do was stand right next to you and shake hands. He doesn’t know when the air got so unbearably stifling, or when the faces all started blurring into each other, smiles melting off as if acid had been thrown onto them. Taehyung squeezes that hand he has around your waist, and you look up in concern. The music is too loud, the lights are too bright, and who the fuck keeps banging on his head?

“Tae?” You ask, delicate hands taking his pale face in them. “You’re overwhelmed,” you conclude, staring into his eyes. Then to your mother, “We’re gonna go get some fresh air.”

“Right now?” She chastises but doesn’t object. Perhaps Taehyung looks worse than he feels. “Be back soon, honey. You need to give your toasts, so we can bring out the cake.”

“Yes, mother.”

Like magic, his migraine disappears the moment you leave the living room. Your soft hand in his, leading him to privacy—all he needed, all he wanted. Your plan is to take him to the garden, have the crispy autumn air hit him, bring him back from his anxiety. But it wasn’t stress that made him unwell; it was those people, the fact that he knew none of them, and yet they got to congratulate him, to stare at his bride as if she’s nothing more than a piece of meat, something with an expiration date.

They think that Kim Taehyung won’t be faithful. That he’ll grow bored, and once he gives you a couple children, will try everything in his power to stay as far away as possible from you. The assumptions of a life he left far behind the moment he bought you that chocolate croissant were haunting him, karma coming to bite him. He was no longer that person they’ve heard so many rumors about it, nor does he wish to ever be, ever again.

You were his future now. His life. He was completely devoted to you. You had to know this.

Before you can reach for the balcony door, he pulls you into the library, locking the door behind him. You let out a gasp as he pushes you against the cold glass of the window that run across the wall, overlooking the majestic garden his mother and housekeepers had built. Taehyung smiles and puts both his arms on either side of you, his thumbs caressing your temples tenderly.

“I thought you weren’t well,” you mutter, blinking up at his handsome face.

“You always make me feel better.” He inches closer.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.” And then he kisses you.

Gently, softly. Small feathery pecks, admiring the way you bloomed for him, under his touch. The party was gearing up, he could hear the melody change to something more upbeat, so he figured he could steal a few more moments with you, alone. His mind ran a thousand miles per hour.

“I want you to know, sweetheart, I want you to hear it from me directly, and believe me always when I say—I’ll be a good husband to you. I will always put you first, above my own self, whatever you need. Count on me, let me be a man that’s deserving of an angel like you,” he whispers against your lips, watches as your eyes glisten with tears of joy.

He kisses them away, then kisses your brow. You giggle, a sound holier than church bells. He would give you anything, then. His baby, his darling. Anything.

“I’m going to take advantage of you now— I can’t fucking wait any longer, you have me by the fucking balls, sweetheart.”

Your hands instinctively go for his shoulders, as he roughly pulls your dress up your legs, over your hips, those long fingers dipping underneath your silk panties, feeling that smooth pussy with his open palm. Taehyung groans into your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin there. He wanted to mark you, show everyone you’re his, but not now. You’d be too embarrassed to go back out, face all those guests.

Your cunt wasn’t shy, though. It coated his fingers with your slick wetness, opened up for him to have his way. So obedient, so fucking sexy—oh, he’d fuck you. Right against this window, for anyone that was outside to see. He didn’t give a fuck. You drove him crazy with how ready you always seemed to be, your body betraying any sort of rebuttal from you.

“Tell me baby, have you touched yourself since I was in between these legs?” As his middle finger slips inside your tight entrance. “Have you thought of me while rubbing this pretty pussy? Be honest with me, sweetheart.”

“Yes,” a breathy moan against his collarbone, as your hand wraps around the nap of his neck. “Yes.”

He’s a gone man, then. A girl as perfect as you, his promised girl, admitting to pleasuring herself with the thought of him? Taehyung almost wants to apologize for who he was about to become.

“Turn around for me, darling.”

You’re scared, overthinking the position, but with one last flick on your clit, you’re drenching his entire hand, rubbing on his forearm like a starved slut.

“I’ll take care of you, baby, I got you, I promise.”

“Will it hurt?” You ask quietly, and he shushes you, kisses away your worry.

“It might, angel. But you’re my strong girl, aren’t you? Bite on my hand if the pain is too much.”

He holds your hips aligned with his erection and unzips his trousers, pumping himself a few times, using your slick to coat his length. Taehyung then puts a hand over your mouth, and you hold onto it with both of your own, inching your ass closer to his cock absentmindedly, your body obviously wanting this as much as he does.

“Fuck me, you’re a fucking dream like this, darling, let me see you. Do that again.”

You do, the white garters and stockings you have on the sexiest thing he’s ever seen in his goddamn life. He’s seen a lot of pussy, but nothing compares, could ever compare to yours. Sliding his rock-hard length against your folds, he circles an arm around your waist, your knees already giving out. Taehyung chuckles, kisses your shoulder blade softly. What an adorable girl, so innocent in the ways of pleasure, all the different ways your senses can come alive.

“Take a deep breath for me, sweetheart.”

He enters you at once, what little resistance there was giving way. You scream into his hand, and he presses his chest on your back, fingers pressing against your mouth to keep you quiet. Stilling for a second, brows furrowing, aching to pound into you, to fuck you senseless, he then pulls all the way out, and thrusts back in, the tightness feeling incredible against his girth.

“Christ baby, where have you been my entire fucking life?”

You whimper, and push back, wanting to be as close to him as possible. “Faster, Taehyung, please.”

He needn’t be told twice. He stays inside you, picking up his pace, fucking into the deepest part of you, both arms wrapping around your waist, breathing labored, watching as you place two manicured hands on the glass, trying to keep yourself upright. He praises you, tells you how good you’re doing, how fucking perfect you are for him, taking cock so well, a natural, a good little slut, his baby, so proud of you, so fucking proud.

“Look at you, shameless, getting fucked for the whole world to see. You’re a filthy fucking girl, angel, aren’t you? All you want is to come on my cock, don’t you?”

“Please…”

Taehyung wants to grab you by the hair, drill himself into your hole, shape it to fit his dick exactly, to mark his place there so that you could never leave him, never let any other man in that sweet fucking place. Instead, he watched the crystals bounce, your tits smashed against the glass, corset keeping them in place.

“Please? Use your words, darling. What do you want?” He demands, bending you at the waist more, feeling his release getting closer.

“You, please, more, more!”

When his digits drop down to your clit again, you’re a crying mess, begging to be filled with cum, filled by him, to the brim, until you can’t take no more, and he gives it all to you, he’s generous, he slams one, two, three—your head falls in ecstasy, as he shoots his load inside of your insatiable hole, balls emptying all he’s been holding back for you.

He rests his head on your lower back, sweat dripping into his eyes, stinging. He kisses you over the flashy fabric of your dress, hands resting above your womb, thinking about seeing your swollen belly, carrying his child, a beautiful mommy.

Taehyung helped you get decent, tucking himself back in his pants, straightening his suit vest, passing a hand over his combed hair, and turned you around in his arms for a last kiss. Only this one was more intense; unlike any other kiss he’s ever experienced. It was emotional, carrying the trust and love you’ve grown to have for him, the most precious thing he could ever ask for.

“I’ve loved you since I met you, sweetheart,” he whispers sweetly in your ear, pulling back to see your reaction.

You flushed, hiding on his shoulder. He smiles fondly at your action and keeps you there for a while. Some time has passed since you two supposedly went to the gardens, and he didn’t want your mother to start an entire search party for the both of you, so he halfheartedly suggested to return to the living room.

Admittedly, there was no possible way to hide you two had sex. His mother shook her head as he brought you to stand in front of the two-tiered vanilla frosted cake, attached to your hip.

“I’ll love you til the day I die,” he promises later, in front of everyone, slipping a diamond ring on your finger. “Mine to hold, mine to keep.”

#taehyung #bts taehyung #taehyung smut #taehyung scenarios #bts scenarios #bts smut #taehyung fanfics #taehyung imagines #bts fanfics #taehyung fics #bts fics #taehyung imagine #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #bts x reader #taehyung x reader #.mine

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bangtangalicious · 1 year

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Can I request a drabble w Tae where the reader is innocent and she approaches him saying she couldn't sleep or smthing? And tae fingers her shdhfhfiioj . And she has no clue of his intentions?👉👈 I really enjoy your smut fics sm!

pairing: taehyung x reader

tw: 18+ only, smut, fingering, praise, manipulation

His eyes swept over you, trembling in the cold midnight air. Nipples taught against the flimsy oversized t-shirt you had on.

You blinked at him, wide eyes without a taint of judgement. "I can't sleep" The pout on your lips, delectable.

Sighing deeply, Taehyung crawled into your bed. Not minding the heat that seared through his skin as he came into contact with you.

Legs tangling with yours.

Were you not wearing panties?

He cursed.

His fingers caressed the top of your head when really he wanted to dip them into your sweet little cunt. You would like that, wouldn't you? Why else would you invite him into your bed like this, legs spread, so eager?

His teeth dug into his lips, you were too innocent to realize what you did to him. It wasn't his fault! He was a wretched man, he only had so much self-control.

"Can't sleep, huh?" He whispered darkly, pulling you closer. Tracing the tops of your thigh.

You giggled, pressing your face into his chest. "Tae, w-what, that tickles!"

He shushed you. Lips dusting over yours with a stern look in his eyes.

"Close your eyes"

He watched you gulp with unease. "Taehyung--"

"Close them"

You did. He watched your lids flutter shut as his fingers trailed up, brushing against your clit. A shaky breath left your lips, goosebumps all over you as his dark whispers pressed behind your ear.

"Shh, just relax" His voice was incredibly deep. Vibrating straight to your core. He smirked, feeling your wetness against the pads of his finger. Drawing soft, gentle circles into you.

Without warning he slipped one finger inside. Easily, a soft squelch making him shudder with need. He could feel your heat clench. You were so tight, but that didn't stop him from sliding in one more.

Unknowingly, you spread your legs wider. Wanting to feel his fingers even deeper. He drew them out. Slid them back in. A soft rhythm, burning through you.

"Just like that, good girl" His breath was hot against you. Thumb resting on your clit as he continued to fuck you open with his fingers. "So fucking wet for me baby"

You gasped. Letting Taehyung know you were far from asleep. He scoffed, digging his teeth against your ear.

"Still can't sleep?" He teased darkly. Your eyes flew open, shot with lust. No part of your body was in control as you reached for his face, pressing your lips against his, hard. Desperate. Wanting to swallow him whole.

"Tae" You groaned into his mouth, as his fingers began pistoning even faster.

"My baby gonna come?" He cooed, "Gonna come all over my fingers, hm?"

There was no hiding your moans. The sweet part of your lips as you began to tremble, shocked coursing through your body as you leaked into his palm. He flicked his wrist, guiding you through your orgasm.

"There you go baby, so fucking good" He licked your jaw, aftershocks consuming you as his fingers continued to dig deep.

A wave of ease swept over you. Your eyes finally settling shut. Taehyung kissed you one final time, lips lingering over yours.

"Now sleep, my love" He whispered sweetly, a smile pressing against you. "Sweet dreams"

He knew you had no idea what he had just done to you. But the thought of you wandering to him every restless night begging him to make you come again so you could sleep...

Sweet dreams indeed.

#taehyung smut #taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader smut #taehyung drabble #taehyung imagine #taehyung scenario #bts taehyung smut #taehyung x y/n #yandere taehyung #bts smut #taehyung oneshot #taehyung scenarios #bts v smut #kim taehyung smut

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moonhoures · 6 months

Text

Open Wide

🕷️ kinktober — day 14: dom!idol 🕸️

pairing: taehyung (bts) + reader (g/n)

genre: non-idol!au, smut, fluff

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, explicit smut, established relationship, oral (m receiving) / deepthroating, d/s dynamics, soft dom!taehyung, taehyung calls reader ‘pretty’, lots of praise, mentions of safewords, cum swallowing

word count: ~1.2k

synopsis: your boyfriend wants to try something new, and you’re eager to fulfill his desires

posted: october 14, 2023

kinktober masterlist

Pliant. Obedient. Eager. Attentive. Submissive. That’s exactly how Taehyung liked you to be.

When he met you, he could tell you were good—not just a good person, but good. He pinned you as the type to do as you’re told. The type to listen well. The type to be up for anything. And he loved people like that. They made for fun partners, especially sexually. He was drawn to them. And so, he was drawn to you.

Likewise, you were drawn to his charisma and his demanding presence. It was like he naturally commanded the attention of everyone when he stepped into a room, and it drove you wild. He seemed so powerful, without even trying.

You two hit it off almost immediately. Something in the two of you just seemed to click when you were together, like a match catching flame. It was evident in the way you kissed each other. The way you entangled yourselves. The fiery passion in which you made love, every single time. He loved putting you in your place, and you had no problem fulfilling his every demand. You were eager to try anything with him, even things you had never done with anyone else. In fact, you were even more excited to do new things because you felt so safe with him. Taehyung was many things, but he was always considerate of your boundaries, your feelings, and your input. Still, you put full faith in him.

For instance, as he was finished eating you out one night, you had offered to return the kindness. And of course he accepted, but he had an idea.

“Can we try something out?” he asked, though he knew you would nod zealously in agreement to nearly anything he proposed. Which you did. “Lie down on the bed for me, with your head at the edge.”

You hesitated for only a moment before setting in motion. You moved from your position lying against the pillows to lying horizontally on the bed, your head at the edge of the sheets, just like he asked. You waited patiently, listening to the rustling sounds of your boyfriend undressing a few feet away. When he was done, he emerged above you, and you could hear his hand moving along his erected length slowly. Your thighs pressed against each other in anticipation for what he had in store.

“I’m gonna have you move up some more,” he spoke in that deep, gentle tone that had you willing to go to war for him. His hands were careful in handling your neck and head, adjusting you until your head was hanging off the side of the bed. Your face was a mere foot away from his groin. Your mouth watered at the sight of his cock so close to you. You wanted him in your mouth so bad, but you had to wait until he was ready, “How’s that? You okay, pretty?”

“Yes,” you replied softly, and he admired the smooth curves of your neck. It would look so much better once his cock was down your throat.

“What’s the safeword?” he asked you every time you tried anything new or rough.

“Red.”

“And if you can’t speak?”

“Pinch your thigh.”

“Good. Are you ready?”

You affirmed that you were, and then your tummy was practically performing in the Olympics the way it flipped. You watched him fist his erection, just waiting for the chance to have it to yourself. Luckily, he didn’t leave you hanging for too long. He shifted closer to you, and you instinctively stuck your tongue out. He was so close; you swore you could taste him already.

“That’s it, open wide for me.”

The corners of your mouth stretched as wide as they could, and you let your tongue rest on your bottom lip. Taehyung fed the tip of his cock between your lips, a shaky hiss leaving his gritted teeth as your tongue immediately began to lick at it. He whispered for you to hold on, let him get all the way in. So you did as you were told (like you always did) and you backed off, taking deep breaths through your nose as he sunk further and further into your mouth. Eventually, he pressed against the back of your throat, and he let out a sigh of gratification. Perfect.

“You’re doing good, _______.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

His hips ever-so-slowly began to shift back and forth as he fucked your mouth. He moved slowly, carefully, more gentle than he usually was when you deepthroated him, because he knew this new position was a little more difficult. The angle wasn’t the same as how you usually sucked him off, so he was just being a bit more cautious. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you.

He pumped in and out of you with his lip caught between his teeth, trying not to lose himself in the warm, wet pleasure of your mouth. Heaven, that’s what it felt like. Like he had lived a charitable life and was being blessed at the pearly gates that were your lips. His resolve was slipping slowly but surely, and he had to check himself when he found he was becoming a little rough in his movements. One glance at your hands fisting the sheets beside your hips had him slowing instantly.

“Are you okay, love?” he cooed through bated breath, nearly coming to a halt. But you gave a thumbs up with one hand, and a smile graced his lips. My little trooper, he thought. He rewarded you with a soothing caress of your tits, knowing you loved when he played with them.

You moaned around him, causing a domino effect as a lustful whimper subsequently fell from his tongue.

“Taking it so well. You deserve the world, you know that?” he asked, bucking his hips carefully. His eyes trailed from your chest to your throat where he could see the faintest outline of his cock thrusting under your skin. His eyelids fluttered, and his breath hitched, “I’m gonna give you the world one day.”

Your stomach was in knots but you weren’t quite sure if it was from the butterflies or the arousal. Either way, you wanted nothing more than for him to cum. To return the pleasure he always gave you.

“Fuck, where have you been all my life?” he questioned, knowing you couldn’t respond but even if you did, your reply would fall on deaf ears. He was focused on one thing only and that was cumming down your throat. Painting your tongue with his essence. Watching you swallow it—all of it.

And then it was happening. His abdomen flexed and his body went still as his cock twitched against your tongue. Your eyes screwed shut as you prepared for the jolting sensation of his seed shooting into your mouth. The familiar taste only lingered shortly after you swallowed around his tip before he pulled out of you completely. His chest moved with each heavy breath he took, and he admired the look of your glistening, swollen lips being licked by your tongue. He had to resist the overwhelming temptation to kiss you then. He could wait a few minutes to make out with you while he was pounding into you, showing you just how much he loved and appreciated how good you were for him. Because you were always the best, submissive partner he could ever ask for. And you deserved to know it.

— taglist #1

@jaylaxies @xiaoting999 @kookthief @zaddywilk @wonrangwoo @pedriswrld @ikykleeknowww @odisdad @abby-grace @jungwonloveer @pinklemonadeflav @celestialplatinum @luvkpopp @nlklstan @kisses4denji @jenos-eye-smiles @a-l-i-y-a @channiesprincess @heerinnie @bekah931215 @fairygirl18 @cinnikoi @im-ur-calico-cat @unlikelysublimekryptonite @k-drizzle

#bts smut #taehyung smut #v smut #bts v smut #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts x y/n #taehyung fanfic #taehyung imagine #taehyung scenarios #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #kpop smut #[🕷️] kinktober 23

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holdinbacksecrets · 4 months

Note

Hi! Can you please write BTS version of the voicemails they will send hinting their feelings? Thank you 😊

thank you for requesting 🖤

voicemails from bts, hinting feelings

namjoon: “i was in a bookstore the other day and started to imagine a book you wrote being on the shelves someday. everything you do, down to the indentation of your steps, leaves behind a story. do you remember your birthday two years ago? you drank one glass too many, and it’s like the fiction unleashed. i recorded a voice memo, but i never played it for you. i want to.”

jin: “are you scared? this morning you sounded really scared on the phone. i’m sorry i didn’t say more or say enough. i was caught off guard because you’ve never showed me scared before, not like that. i’ve seen your apprehension. i’ve seen your insecure. i’ve seen your anxiety, but this was consuming fear. i’m making dinner, and i feel like you probably haven’t eaten today… if your anxiety gives anything away about your scared. come over when you’re off. i’ll greet you with a hug and bowl of soup. or two bowls. i have cheese and bread too. the good bread. the loaf you turned me on to.”

yoongi: “you used the notes app on my phone to write out your grocery list, and i’m amused. it sounds like you’re having a conversation with yourself: right now, i want rice crispies, but i’ll probably change my mind once i’m in the cereal aisle. trust your gut, or get two boxes. you’re 26. no one is stopping you. oh! get some apple juice too. i keep having dreams about twelve year old me at a friend’s house. we’d sit at the kitchen island after school with graham crackers and apple juice, and i miss her. i miss those simple conversations. you’re so pure and magnetic. sometimes i wonder where you came from, but then i’m just glad you made it here—tumbled into my life because you did tumble. you’ve always made the story sound too elegant. the tumble was charming, i promise.”

hoseok: “you’ve been sharing recipes with me, or i guess i should say the final product of your recipes has been shared with me, repeatedly, and now i’m starting to wait for the knock on my door or the ring of a text. is that bad? i wouldn’t want you to ever think i’m demanding treats, but i love… i love the time we spend together when you bring them over, and your eyes sparkle when my expression changes because of how good everything always tastes… i love that too.”

jimin: “did you say everything you needed to yesterday? i swear your lips parted and you leaned in so many times to never say anything. i know it was a busy place, and it’s not that fun sitting at a table for twelve. but i was ready to listen. i’ll be ready at 2 am too. whatever you need. there’s something to this, right? to the ease of our conversations. you trust me?”

taehyung: “do you want to sculpt clay with me? i bought a whole bag and a bunch of tools. i thought about booking a private lesson, but i wanted my record player and access to a kitchen and the ability to get my hands dirty whenever i want to—need it. do you need it too? if not, keep me company while i try to make something?”

jungkook: “can i pick you up today? this is going to sound ridiculous, but your smell used to linger in my car, and i can’t quite make out the notes of your perfume anymore. i can imagine them, but they don’t meet me when i open the door… i can’t leave this as a voicemail on your phone. can i leave this as a voicemail on your phone? i sound insane.”

bonus: “i’m calling to tell you i’m proud of you. sometimes when we were kids, i used to think our dreams wouldn’t make it higher than the trees. i thought they’d get caught in the leaves, die on branches come winter, but look at us. look at you. you’re incredible. we did it.”

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7ndipity · 5 months

Text

Them With Pregnant S/o HCs

Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Reader

Summary: How they would look after their S/o during pregnancy and interact with the baby bump.

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks to @lovelyxoxosworld for this request! Everybody seems to have babies on the brain lately, idk what’s going on, lol. I did include a few points about earlier months just for the sake of covering all the bases, but I tried to keep the focus on the later months like you asked.

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Taehyung:

When the two of you found out you were expecting, he was beyond excited and emotional. He’d always dreamt of having a family of his own, so the fact that it was finally happening, and with you, meant the world to him.

He would talk to them all the time. As soon as he comes home, he kisses you and asks how your day was, and then kneels down to kiss your belly and ask them the same thing.

He would play question games with your belly, like one kick for yes, two kicks for no. He’d probably try to get them to side with him during arguments.

Likes to just hold/hug you from behind and trace patterns over your bump.

You tend to fall asleep most nights talking about names or trying to guess what their personality will be like.

“We’re not naming them after Jimin.” “Why not?” “The rest of your members will be pissed.” “We can name the next ones after them.” “THE NEXT ONES?!”

He really dedicates himself to studying your pregnancy books and trying to be as educated as possible about the whole process.

As your belly gets bigger, he tries to help and take over as many household tasks as possible, reminding you every time you try to argue with him about smth that you’re growing A HUMAN?! You’re busy enough!

He loves getting to dote on you; helping you apply cream to your belly for stretch marks, giving you back rubs to ease any aches and pains, he’ll even paint your toenails for you if you want!

He takes so many photos of you as the pregnancy progresses, wanting to immortalize as much of this time as possible.

Jungkook:

When he found out that you were pregnant, he was so beside himself with happiness that he couldn’t sit still. He kept bouncing/pacing around the room, coming over at regular intervals to hug and kiss you and your tummy, and then back to pacing.

Reads so many pregnancy books he basically becomes a walking encyclopedia for a couple months.

When he finds out they can hear in there, he talks to them constantly, including them in your conversations and singing to them before bed.

He cried a little bit the first time he felt the baby kick, bc it just made everything a lot more real. Like, he knew they were there, but getting to actually feel them and interact with them was a whole different thing.

As your belly gets bigger, and daily tasks get more difficult to do, he becomes your full-time assistant, doing everything and anything he can to help out.

Refuses to let you do anything remotely straining in fear of you hurting yourself. Like, he gets anxious about you even carrying your own bag half the time.

Loves doing that thing where he holds/supports your belly to take the weight off your back for a few minutes so you can rest a little bit.

Will one hundred percent try any weird food cravings you have, just to know and to see if he can start predicting what the next ones will be.

Is constantly coming up with new name ideas and desperately wants to be the one to find THE name. “Heads: you win, Tails: I get to pick the baby’s name.”

Probably falls asleep with a hand resting on your belly most nights.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan

#taehyung headcanons #taehyung scenarios #taehyung reaction #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x reader #jungkook headcanons #jungkook scenarios #jungkook reaction #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #bts headcanons #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts reaction #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts requests #7ndipity

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jimilter · 1 year

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the odds on us | k.th. (m)

It would all be easier if you just believed in fate; you could say meeting him was destiny and the odds of fate were just against your union. Too bad you don't. Too bad it was Taehyung that wasn't serious about your future. Too bad he won't leave you alone even a year after your break-up. Too bad you want to kiss him when you have a date with someone else tonight. Too bad you're still in love with him.

pairing: taehyung x reader

rating: m (18+)

genre: angst | smut | fluff | exes to lovers!au | slice of life!au

word count: 15.5 k

— warnings: swearing + mentions of: alcohol, gambling, criminal associations + a lil emotional breakdown + some crying + some toxic behavior from their past + kim tae’s duality :] + explicit sexual situations (dom!tae, sub!reader, thigh riding, oral (f.&m.), vaginal fingering, hand kink, fingers kink? (yn is obsessed w his fingers and want to swallows them 🧍‍♀️), size kink, breast play, cum play, creampie, marking, overstimulation, forced orgasm, choking, dirty talk, endless teasing, restraints, unprotected penetrative sex, spit kink (???), Monster Cock Tae™) + they’re both idiots if you squint :)

— note: so ash decided we shall all cry on tae's birthday, everyone good with that? good. (: lmaO there’s way too much smut in this to make up for it, dw! :>

this fic started off for the ny22 fest i and @knjsnoona hosted last year, but i dropped the idea bec it wasn’t angsty enuff. this was at 5k tho, so i decided to finish it up for tae day instead of scrapping it <3 also, she might not even remember it, but the credits for naming this baby go to my precious soybean, @missgeniality thanks a bunch, honeybunch 🥺

hope you guys like this! pls leave me some feedback~💜

submission for the December Games hosted by House Taeros.

❂ Nightmare Before Christmas ⁂ Hosted by: Professor Bee @inkedtae through @bangtansorciere

⤐ AU Type: Spiral Hills - Exes to Lovers ⤐ Themes: New Beginnings | Slice of Life ⤐ Kinks: Breath Play, Bondage, Hand Kink, Thigh Riding, Oral Fixation, Finger Sucking, Cum Play, Overstimulation

— masterlist | taglist | feedback?

It’s a Saturday night, this New Year’s eve – stepping into the new year with a lazy Sunday feels symbolic of the kind of year you’re gonna have, to be honest – which has caused traffic to be moving at a snail’s pace, tonight, because crowds of regular partygoers are combined with New Year’s partygoers and literally the entire city is on the streets. Which would suck a normal amount on a normal night when you returned from work, but it sucks especially bad tonight, because you’re in a hurry to get home.

You have to get ready for a date. Something you haven’t done in a really long while and are half afraid you’ve forgotten how to.

It is with struggle that you get off the bus on the corner of your street, given how many people want to push in through every door to board the transport, and you stumble a few steps until you have righted yourself and are walking down the couple of houses that separate you from your apartment building. Your handbag is heavy with a gorgeous necklace that your date gifted you when you were leaving work, having adorably run two floors down his department to say goodbye to you, alongwith the promise of your first official date, tonight.

A part of you feels hopeful about the prospect of you finally stepping into the world of romancing again. But another part…

You stop yourself from thinking too much. Nothing good can come out of reminiscing the bygones. Your past experiences bear no impact on what will become of your future. You have been very happy – and then you have been very sad. You're mostly numb now, aware of both the highs and lows of love.

Shaking your head at yourself, you instead focus on thinking up accessories to pair with your burgundy, plunging neckline wrap dress, now that you already have a necklace to accompany it. You also have a gorgeous black velvet coat that would pair up great with it.

A sense of foreboding suddenly rushes your way out of nowhere, but you push it away. No room for second thoughts, now. This date is a good idea – you’re gonna feel great once you’re at the restaurant.

Quickly stepping in and out of shower, you’re still in your bathrobe, blow-drying your hair, when your doorbell rings.

A mini heart-attack renders you immobile for a moment, but then you look at the clock to find it minutes past seven o’clock. You are to leave at eight. Your date cannot possibly be this early.

Your breath of relief is very, very quickly stolen from you, though, when you realize two things at once – one, it’s the fourth Saturday of the month; and two, your earlier sense of foreboding has its roots in muscle memory.

Even when your mind was far removed from the thought, your anxiety knew to kick in right on time. God.

"Good evening!" The wide, boxy grin that meets your scowl when you open the front door is as shameless as it is every month.

Your groan follows like clockwork, too, just as your eyes ignore the waves of his soft hair that have grown and the way his shoulders fill out the black and white Fila sweatshirt he wears with practiced ease as well. Kim Taehyung can force his way into the room where he's left his stuff behind, but you forbid him any access to your heart anymore.

You give the guy a disappointed shake of your head. "It’s literally packed out there tonight, couldn’t you skip this nuisance for once, Kim?"

“Uh, this isn’t a nuisance, hello?” He has the audacity to sound offended. “Besides, I needed something urgently, so…” He trails off, looking you up and down with a curious stare. “Why are you in a… robe? Were you showering? At this hour? Why? Going somewhere? What—”

“None of it is any of your business.” You purse your lips. “I came back from work, I’m showering. Maybe I have engagements, maybe not. None of it involves you.”

His eyebrows shift and forehead tightens, and you resolutely ignore the way his worried eyes still manage to soften your glare. “Only asking as a concerned friend.”

“You’re not—”

“You shouldn't be opening the door in a bathrobe,” he speaks over you, gaze changing shades as it trails down to your collarbones and then runs down your exposed legs. “What if someone came here with malicious intent?”

The sudden sizzling heat that melts his brown irises is a declaration of his own malicious intent enough. Your eyes catch his elegant fingers braced on the doorjamb and it takes a very strong effort by your willpower to not imagine them touching you in the most intimate ways. It's harder because you don't really have to imagine, only just recall.

Swallowing past your suddenly dry throat, you rip your gaze off of your arguably most favorite part of his anatomy and stifle your bodily reactions by reminding yourself of how wrong it is for you to feel this way especially today. Channeling the frustration you feel, you shoot him a glare.

“You’re literally the only person that bothers me on the last Saturdays of the month, religiously ruining my weekend.”

His cheek ticks up, annoyingly attractive, tongue escaping to flick at his lower lip, admitting distracting. “So you do wait for me. Knew it.”

“Did you not hear the ruining my weekend part?”

“Your weekend nights consist of eating Rocky-Road from the tub and re-watching dumb Marvel TV series.” He gives a snort. “I’m hardly ruining anything, here.”

You kinda wanna slap him for being a smartass. You kinda wanna kiss him because it is so hot. You also kinda wanna go back in time and undo some of your actions that led him to find these things out about you. Because he is not wrong and you hate that all the more.

You also hate yourself for how naively you handled things after your breakup, too. You should have talked to your landlady about redoing your lease deed for the rest of the eighteen months with just your name. She is a nice lady, she might have understood. And you should have thrown all of Taehyung’s boxes out, the week after he left. What were you thinking telling him it was okay if it took him a while to get all his stuff? His definition of ‘a while’ has extended up to a year, this visit being a week after the one-year mark of your separation that happened last Christmas.

You’re pretty sure he realizes that you aren’t wholly unaffected by his monthly visits to your place, and exploits the knowledge to its full potential by sending you unnecessarily dark and lingering glances when he knows you can catch him looking. You don't even wanna think about what he would do if he knew you still think of the mind-blowing orgasms he used to give you, when you curl up with your hands between your legs; your hands that are so much less rewarding than his, with your shorter fingers and softer palm. He has been trying to woo you since literally a month after you kicked him out. Resisting him is physically and emotionally painful.

It's pitiful how a part of you fills you up with guilt upon having Taehyung grin at you with all of his teeth right as you’re about to get ready and go have dinner with a man that is not him.

It leaves you with an unsteady feeling inside of your head. Even though it has been a year. Even though it was you that ended things with Taehyung. But then, maybe it is the fact that you were the one to end things that bothers you so much. You essentially broke the guy’s heart even if he broke your trust first.

You wonder if he is affected by these visits at all, or if this is just a game for him.

You blink, realizing you have brought on a pounding headache by thinking the exact thoughts you always want to hide away from. Sighing, you shake your head in a very late response to his quip about how you spend your weekends.

He doesn’t wait for you to let him in, as per usual, and shoves his way into your apartment with those broad shoulders of his.

You still try to put up a weak protest, "Listen, I am busy tonight, so make a quick work of—"

"I won’t take long, babe, I never take long!" he sing-songs, throwing a grin at you over his shoulder. "Do I?"

Why do you come at all? Why not take your forty-seven boxes and leave me the fuck alone? You wanna ask, but you don’t.

You never do.

What you do is grudgingly shut the door, and thump your forehead against its hardwood.

This is gonna be hard. Because Taehyung has been in your apartment for all of three minutes, and you’re already starting to dread tonight’s date more than you’re looking forward to it. Maybe it is because you really don’t wanna tell your ex about it but will be forced to if he eats up more of your time and you have to rush him. Or maybe, it is because of reasons that shouldn’t even be there, with the anger you still hold in your heart for him even after more than a year.

You hate yourself for feeling this way, too, because it is unfair. Daniel from HR is a handsome, kind and decent guy – it is so unfair for you to dread spending an evening with him when he has been a gentleman to you for months. Even your supervisor flashed you a thumbs-up when she witnessed Daniel giving you that necklace and your responding blush. You should be happy you are going on a date with such a nice guy, dammit!

But some hidden, despicable part of you doesn’t even want to think of the events that await you tonight when you look at Taehyung. And it's horrible – pathetic, embarrassing, ugly – for you to have such thoughts after everything you’ve done to the two of you. If it wasn’t for you, you and him would still be together. You decided you were not good for each other. You kicked him out of your heart and your house.

You don’t get to look at him with any hope anymore.

Parting ways from him was important, right? He wasn’t unfaithful in his commitment, after all, he had just lied to you about his professional affiliations. Maybe "professional affiliations" is too light a term to use for the hole of gambling he fell into, lying to your face when you would ask him about it. Parting ways from him was important. It was. Furthermore, it has been a year. You should have already made peace with it.

So why haven’t you?

Well, you sort of have. For the most part, if you ignore your desperate calls for his name while you're chasing a high.

It is only when Taehyung shows up and forces you to interact with his gorgeous eyes and sultry voice and sexy hands and…and all his quirks that you had taken your time memorizing, that your resolve falters and you are sent back into contemplation of whether you did the right thing.

God.

What a mess.

Drudging in after him, you lean against your kitchen counter while he walks into the room that used to be your shared bedroom when he lived here. You've long since moved into the spare room that used to be his studio where he practiced scenes for his acting auditions, or when he got a gig, every once in a blue moon. Heavy sounds of the cardboard boxes being dragged around and packing tape being ripped open echo about the otherwise empty room, grating on your braincells and making you want to tear your own hair out.

Kim Taehyung is a real pain in your ass. He makes you wish you could physically block people in real life.

God. If only you’d known what you thought was beautiful happenstance will one day come to this.

You met him two years back when the two of you were stood up by your respective dates at a restaurant. It felt like a lucky coincidence at that time, and you both believed your meet-cute to be fate and spent the rest of the night together, roaming around the city, sharing milkshakes and talking. You came to know he was an acting school graduate who had just quit his team at a local theatre and was going through auditions for cinema and ad films. You were intrigued, amazed, and to be honest, more than a little enchanted by his beauty. A nine-to-five worker yourself, his eccentric choice of career felt like a breath of fresh air to you, turning your boring days bright and springy once you two started dating.

Until – it was a year later and he was still going through auditions with no permanent source of an income. If he ever earned anything, at all. With the both of you crossing your mid-twenties and soon to be of the age where you would start to plan your future, family and other things, his instability worried you very much. When you eventually brought it up with him, he ambiguously told you he would get more small-term contracts and change things around.

That was when, out of nowhere, notes started to roll in. And you foolishly believed all the lies Taehyung would tell you when he would bring home money, every other week. It was cash and it wasn't even regular, but you took his explanation about it coming from small acting gigs as sensible.

How did you not suspect something was off? Still escapes you. Maybe you were so desperate for a trace of stability and insurance in your rickety life that you just took whatever you got without a second thought.

God, you were so right to not believe in fate. Look where an accidental meet-up had landed you in three years.

“Is this my t-shirt?”

Taehyung’s shrill call jolts you out of your regretful thoughts from the past, and you roll your eyes, walking into the room he is in.

The sight that greets you has you momentarily freezing in your spot, before you gather your wits and rake up enough confidence to level your gaze with him.

“What?” you enunciate blandly, despite having full knowledge of the what – along with the why, the how, and the since when that he may follow with.

Taehyung’s elegant fingers have, hanging from their pinched grasp, a t-shirt – one of his t-shirts. One of his t-shirts that you use as a night shirt, to be very specific.

In spite of having known him for as a friend and as a lover, you still cannot fully read the clouded look in his questioning eyes when he asks, “Why do you have my t-shirt?” without preamble, voice low and gaze a little bit lost.

Your fingers bunch up into a fist, disguising as an anchor to ground you. "I… wear it?" Wow, are you questioning him? You reiterate with more conviction, and emphasise, “I wear it.”

His eyebrows hike up. "You wear…" He looks down at the nearly tattered piece of fabric, twirling it around to grimace at its withered condition. "You wear this rag?"

Your ears, already warm at this entire confrontational conversation, feel like they've been set on fire at the confession you have been forced to make.

"I…" You look away and cross your arms against your chest to put forward a composed front. Your fingers are trembling and sweat droplets are running down your neck. "I wear it to bed."

Taehyung gives an audible gasp at this, and now you just want the ground to swallow you up. Embarrassment colors your face red hot.

"You wear… you still wear my t-shirt to bed?" he confirms, looking at you in awe.

He looks nothing short of a lost puppy, gazing at you with big, sparkling eyes and rounded lips. Your earlier embarrassment is immediately replaced by unbridled affection that bleeds from your heart and is pumped into your body with a melancholic thrum.

You swallow the lump that rapidly forms in your throat, pursing your lips to not let yourself be lost in a world of nostalgia.

No.

You left him for a reason. And he never even fought for you, did he? No.

He lied to your face when you talked to him about settling into a stable job. He never even intended to come clean, did he? No.

He got into gambling when you needed him to get serious about your future together.

Did he even want a future with you?

You don't know.

"Right now I kinda wish I'd burnt all the stuff you left behind," you mutter, twisting your lips in a sneer, and release a subtle breath of relief when Taehyung's expressions morph from adoration to mischief – you can take him being a shameless flirt; you can't deal with the guy whose heart you broke. "If only," you continue, "to save myself from you knocking at my door every damn month."

He raises a teasing eyebrow, rolling back on his heels to scoff at you. "That doesn't answer my quest—"

"It's comfy, okay?" You roll your eyes and look away from his cocky smirk. "And threadbare. And really cosy, so shut up. Can you stop snooping and grab whatever you want, already?"

“You’re really in a rush today,” he observes, head tilted back and eyes slightly narrowed at you. “Where did you say you were going, again?”

“I didn’t.”

Your blank stare is unwavered even when his slowly deepening smirk sears the lining of your stomach. You are willing to throw up the butterflies in your stomach, if it comes to that, but you won’t let him have the upper hand with all his damn seduction tactics. You already know this sight is going to haunt your sleepless nights for weeks.

“What the heck are you looking for today, anyway?” you challenge him with a ticked eyebrow, surprised when his smug face turns startled in a flash. This time, you are the one that smirks. “What? Didn’t think this through, for once?”

His eyelids flutter and irises jump around the sclera – as if he’s looking for an escape in his surroundings. “Um. It’s… uh… My – my Zippo..."

"Your what?" You blink, clueless.

"My Zippo." He makes a gesture with his hand, closing the fist with a thumbs-up at you and then knocks the thumb over the top of his closed knuckles twice. "A windproof pocket lighter... my grandmother got me... from America?"

...what?

He’s got to be fucking kidding you.

You stare at him. “A pocket lighter.”

He nods.

“That your grandmother gifted you.”

He audibly and visibly swallows, but nods again. Your eye twitches.

“And she bought it from America.”

“Uh…” He looks up at the ceiling. “Yes?”

“Are you asking me?”

“No?”

“Kim Taehyung, I swear to God—”

“Hey, help me find it and I’ll be out of your hair!”

“What the—how? It's not even real, you obviously just made it up!”

He looks appalled at your hiss, bracing both his arms on his waist. “It very much is real.”

“No, it’s not!” You brace your arms on your own waist to mirror him. “Your grandmother’s never been to America!”

“Well…” He scratches the back of his head and finally loosens his shoulders in a shrug. "Yeah no, she hasn't."

“I’m going to kill you,” you declare, ready to launch an attack on him, only stopping when he raises both his palms up in surrender.

“Wait, wait! Maybe she got someone else to buy it, come on!” He actually, physically, stomps his feet. “At least let me look for it?”

You have no idea why an old woman would give her grandson an expensive, imported windproof lighter when he doesn't even smoke. But that, apparently, won't deter Taehyung from ripping your spare room and then the living room apart to look for it. As if you would open his boxes to thieve off a damn lighter, even if it actually existed.

It has been more than half an hour of him jumping around the entire space when he finally returns to your curled up self on the living room couch. Good thing he does, too, because you've only got twenty minutes to spare to dress up.

“I can't find it,” is his declaration.

You groan in mental pain. “Obviously you can’t because it doesn't exist. But now that you’ve overstayed your welcome and nearly ruined my plans for the evening, would you mind leaving? Or would you rather be a huger asshole and stay for dinner?”

Taehyung’s eyes are lined with mirth when you look at him, only becoming clearer and calmer when your deadpan doesn’t deter.

He finally gives a sigh, running a hand through his gorgeous turf of dark hair and sits on the couch a few feet away from you.

“Did I really ruin your evening plans? I’m sorry, I didn't intend to…”

His concerned frown makes it look like he really didn't and that confuses you. Because where was this concern and understanding when you kept telling him that your overtime was draining you but you couldn't stop because you needed to make savings if you were gonna move into a bigger apartment together? When you hoped he would take your life together more seriously and contribute to it with more than just his dick?

It shouldn't be surprising how quickly disdain and anger fills you.

Looking at him with nothing short of embers raining from your angry glare, you scoff loudly with a humourless chuckle. "You didn't intend to? Please. Why pretend you care now, when you didn't when it mattered? When it was about our future? About the life we could've had together?"

A thousand shades wash over his face – ranging from shock to anger until he finally settles with something that looks a lot like the pain you have felt in his absence every single day, but refuse to let yourself admit to.

His voice is quiet and timid when he mumbles, “I didn't… It wasn't my intention to make it seem like I didn't care about our future… I always cared."

"As if I'm gonna believe that.” You shake your head.

He is about to say something when your phone rings on the seat between the two of you. Both of your pairs of eyes catch Daniel's name at the same time, and you can almost physically feel the air around you turning crispy with tension.

"Da-ni-el," Taehyung enunciates, throwing the syllables out as if they taste sour in his mouth. "Is this your evening plan that I almost ruined?"

You ignore his remark and receive the call, putting your phone close to your ear and subtly lowering the speaker's volume.

“Hey,” you greet your date that you just texted about possibly being a bit late because of an emergency at home. "I'm really sorry—"

“Hey, please," Daniel interrupts you with a very worried call of your name, followed by, "is everything okay? Please tell me if you need my help with the emergency! Are you okay?"

Your heart weighs down with guilt and your eyes shoot poisonous arrows at the emergency sitting next to you on your couch. "No, Dan, everything is under control now. I just…need a little more time. Can you please pick me at eight-thirty instead, please?"

Your attention is admittedly more on the fury that takes over your ex's face rather than the hurried, stumbling agreement poured into your ears. But you can't help it when anger looks so hot on him. The sharp edge of his jaw, the tensed muscles in his neck – and the visible veins on his clenched fist…fuck.

You subtly press your thighs together, looking down into your lap to escape Taehyung's sharp gaze.

"Of course!" Daniel jovially exclaims and as you bite back a wince, you hope Taehyung can't hear how high pitched and borderline shrill his voice is compared to Taehyung's own sultry one. "I'll be there at eight-thirty, don't worry about it!"

You hum and say goodbyes.

"You are going on dates now?" Taehyung’s face is unreadable again which makes you slightly nervous about what he could be thinking.

But you still stare right into his eyes and move your head in slow nods. "Of course, I am," you say it as if it's obvious, when in reality it has been a long and difficult journey that you are still not done reaching the destination of. When it is still his name you cry out when you have your fingers buried deep inside of you. But you don’t want him to know that, so you shrug your shoulders. "Aren't you?"

“Obviously not. You are it for me," he says without missing a beat, simply and calmly as if the words aren't meant to have any affect on you. "Since that fateful day in that coffee shop? You have been it for me."

The confession is so raw and so unexpected, it makes you catch your breath. There's no modulation in his voice, no expression on his face, but his eyes? You haven't seen them look any sadder than they do right now.

"Why the hell would I even try when my heart's always been yours?" He doesn't stop though, sliding closer to you on the couch as he looks deep into your eyes with liquid pain collected on his lids. “But I guess you've been trying to return it for a while, huh. I can see I'm no longer welcome here.”

You find yourself at a loss.

The broken emptiness in his eyes and the tears clinging to his long lashes crumble your heart to dust. He is here, he still loves you – you want nothing more than to capture his lips in a kiss and never let go.

But at the same time, you also know all the reasons why you shouldn't.

You've seen this happen before way too many times. You know the pattern. The gambling was just the last straw that broke the camel's back, Taehyung's insincerity towards your relationship had started right about the time when you started to plan your upcoming life together. After every fight you two would have, he would come begging for another chance and you would give it to him again – putting your trust in his palms, asking him if he was serious about your future, and believing him every time he said he was. And each time, he would prove you to be a fool in love, breaking your trust.

But no more.

So despite the way his forlorn gaze tears at you, you put on a brave face and shake your head.

“No, you’re not,” you simply tell him, putting up protective walls around yourself as you go, forcing yourself to not give a second’s thought to the look on his face that mirrors the one you put there when you broke up with him. “And you haven’t been, since the very day I asked you to leave.”

A lone tear rolls down his cheek, which he tries to hide by quickly moving his head to face the other direction.

It takes everything in you to not reach out to cup his face and wipe it. Because no. This is the right thing to do. It may hurt the two of you now, but you’ll be grateful in the long run. You convince yourself that you’d rather have a messy break-up now than an irreparable divorce five years later. Because that is what the two of you were headed to – an uncertain future that would crash and burn.

“I know you have been trying to make your way back to me by all these excuses of needing some or the other imaginary object, but you really need to stop, Tae, and…” You falter at your slip of his name – the name you have pointedly avoided for a year.

Taehyung notices, too, red eyes looking at you again. “You think,” he begins in a throaty, choked murmur, “I come here to win you back?”

You falter. Isn’t that why he comes to you? You’re sure he’s about to throw another excuse at you, until he releases a low, self-deprecating chuckle.

“I come here because I know I can’t win you back,” he slowly says, confusing you and making tears lodge into your throat at the same time. “I come here because I miss you and I don’t know how else to see you…”

The back of your eyes start to burn with the urge to cry, but you repress it.

You try to think of something to say, but come up blank. You're stumped. He doesn't know that he doesn't even need to win you back because of how much he still has you. If he'd tell you he wants to try again – really try – you'd welcome him back with open arms. If he'd tell you he doesn't wanna dabble around with criminal activities anymore and wants to settle down with you…God, you would drop everything and run to him.

Telling him any of that wouldn't be the best action to take when you're trying to move on. So you keep shut, looking at him in silent longing that he reflects.

“But I get it,” he continues, clearing his throat and nodding with his lips pulled in tight. “This – this is wrong of me. You’ve made it clear, time and again, that you don’t wanna see me. I have no right to force you.”

It hits you then that Taehyung has definitely assumed you have been dating for a while. As he should, because that is how you intentionally worded it. But now, you just want to tell him the truth. That it has been extremely difficult accepting the fact that you can’t be with him and have to move on. That it was very very difficult saying yes to Daniel. That you haven’t even wanted to actually go with him ever since Taehyung showed up, tonight.

You don’t get the chance to say anything out loud, though, because Taehyung gives you a small smile – it is full of so much pain and longing and despair, that it just pierces your heart and makes you choke on held back tears.

“You deserve this,” he simply tells you. “Someone taking you out on New Year’s eve… calling beforehand to check up on you simply because you told him you had an emergency come up… I bet he drives a Merc.”

Your cheeks pink at the thought of him having eavesdropped, but you bite your lip to contain your reaction, forcing yourself to chuckle at the last remark. “Please. He works in the same company as me. Literally drives a Toyota.”

Taehyung’s gaze fixates on a point in space. “So he has a corporate job, then. He’s… stable in life…”

You could not have predicted the searing pain that shakes your whole body upon hearing those words. Your wide, surprised eyes look at him, bewildered.

He gives you another slow, pained smile. “It’s what you always wanted. It's what you deserve.”

No, you vehemently reject in your head. What you deserved, at some point at least, was for Taehyung to clean up his act and try for you. Try for the both of you. Unable to contain the sudden helplessness and grief his words fill you with, you shake your head in response.

When he looks at you in confusion, you explain, “I deserved to have you listening to me, Tae. I deserved to have you taking us and our future seriously. I deserved to have you finally prioritizing me above your Bookmaking and – and betting and gambling. I deserved you picking our future over a life of uncertainty and petty crimes that could land you in jail anytime. I deserved…” Your breath stutters and you grit your teeth against the tears that flow down Taehyung’s face. “I deserved a real chance with the man I loved.”

“The man you loved,” Taehyung stresses the final consonant, eyes dark and now dry. Your usage of past tense is accidental, but seems to hit Taehyung in the wrong places. Sudden anger tightens his jaw. “Well. I'll have you know that the man you loved had cleaned up his act less than a week after moving out from this house.”

The words glide past you without making any sense. You gape at him. "What?"

“I quit. The day after you broke up with me, I cut myself out of everything,” he elaborates, sounding tired and weary for the first time ever since you’ve been having conversations with him since your break up. He's always been full of energy. Now he just sounds… defeated. “It was quick money but so much shady dealings and sneaking around… I had to get out. And after you left me… I took my anger out on that lifestyle and got out.”

“Taehyung… what the fuck are you saying?” Your voice sounds as hollow as your chest feels, your heart once again having landed in his hands.

He really quit a year ago? Why the heck didn’t he come to see you, then?

Your earlier thoughts return to you – if he says the word, gives one single indication that he wants you, you will forget the world and run to his arms. It's close to impossible to put logic over emotion when it comes to Taehyung. Breaking up with him was the strongest you'd been all your life.

All your life, you hadn't ever known the kind of love you so easily gave Taehyung. He can destroy you so easily, it's scary.

“I had some money stashed away for down payments and stuff for when we moved. Used them to pay off what I owed my Bookie. And quit,” Taehyung repeats his confirmation and your stomach twists. “Went back to the theater to get them to take me back, but… yeah, they didn’t let me in full-time because I’d lost their trust by dropping out unannounced. But they noted my name down pretty high up on the roll call for performances. I’ve done eight plays since, and got one more tomorrow. First night of the year at the Town Center. It's a full house.”

Your brain refuses to accept this new piece of information. You have to hold your forehead in a palm and massage your temples with your fingers to make sense of what Taaehyung is saying.

It feels like a sick joke.

He's dangling what you wanted in front of you, but he's holding it just out of your reach.

“You’re telling me… you quit everything a year ago?” At his nod, you sigh. “Tae. Why didn't you tell me? You got rid of the very reason we broke up and just didn’t tell me about it? Did you not…" Your voice breaks and eyes water. "Did you not miss me?”

Instead of looking guilty the way you’d expected him to, Taehyung looks more defeated. “I missed you more than I can ever put into words. I didn't tell you because you didn't need to know.” At your confused frown, he shakes his head and softly calls your name. “You deserve a beautiful life of abundance built up with hard earned money. You deserve happiness accumulated by creating a family. With people who can afford to love you. Not a struggling artist who doesn't know if he'd have to go without dinner tonight…" He quietly whispers your name, and your jaw trembles with the emotion it carries. "You are so much better off without me. I don't deserve you."

You thought your heart broke with his heartbreak, but you were apparently wrong because something hurts very bad in your chest. And it’s got to be your heart – or whatever’s left of it – because you can barely breathe over the unbearable pressure that suffocates your lungs.

“I’m sorry I made the decision for you, but…” Taehyung gives you a small shrug. “You wouldn't have agreed with me. And look, good things are happening again, aren’t they?"

You force yourself to give a nod, suddenly recalling the date you are supposed to get ready for. This is what you've wanted – moving on and ahead, eliminating Taehyung from your life.

“Good luck for your… date,” he says, and even though it seems like rolling his tongue around the word is a task for him, you find no anger in his gaze, only resignation and sadness. “I hope it’s good for you. The guy… he sounds like a caring guy,” Taehyung’s voice comes out gruff, very reluctant but still ringing with honesty.

He stands up, brushing both palms down the front of his sweatshirt to plop them into its pockets. His eyes run all over your face, a terse look on his own which he seems to be attempting to soften with a weird pull to his lips that you think he is trying to sell for a smile.

“I’m gonna take my leave… for good, this time,” he slowly declares, taking a step back from the couch, and as you feel your heart lurch to your throat. You have to physically tuck your feet in to stop yourself from rushing after him to stop him. “Kind of a downer staying to watch him pick you up in a Tessie or some shit.”

You meet his attempt at lightening the atmosphere with the ghost of a smile. “A Toyota, I promise.”

“Happy New Year,” he breathes, already at the door, watching you through watery eyes. “I hope this next one is so beautiful, it makes up for all that I put you through this year. And – and the year before…"

Your lips woodenly part into a smile you don’t mean, to express happiness you don’t feel. “You, too. I hope the coming year helps you be kinder to yourself and…” You pause to inhale. “And honest with the things you love.”

Taehyung seems to understand the meaning behind your words, given the subtle clenching of his fist, but says nothing as he moves out of the apartment.

You stare after him, rooted to your spot like a marble statue.

He really did the one thing you had wanted him to. And then – he never told you about it, didn’t make any attempts at a reconciliation because of his own messed up theories about you and himself. His words play in your head, weighing your heart down with sadness and despair.

You deserve a beautiful life of abundance built up with hard earned money. You deserve happiness accumulated by creating a family. With people who can afford to love you.

Afford to love you – as if you are an expensive commodity and not a flawed human being.

Despite all the anger, pain and disappointment you have been living with due to his ways, the picture of the future his words paint for you still features Taehyung by your side, holding your hand through it all.

You wonder how he can know you so well and yet be so clueless about you at the same time.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to you that you have the worst time with your date.

You spent the entire dinner thinking about your ex that you’re supposed to have finally severed things with and the few times you tried to engage in a conversation with Daniel, you almost slipped and called him ‘Tae.’

You feel like shit, drowning in heartache and two different kinds of guilt. Because Daniel definitely didn’t deserve this. And at the same time… maybe Taehyung also didn’t deserve the way you cut him out of your life, last Christmas. Maybe there’s a reason why he drew all the conclusions about being undeserving to be with you.

Did he think you valued stability over him and not with him?

Your feet are heavy and heart heavier when you get to your apartment – only to stumble to a startled stop when you come face to face with the man you desperately wish to stop thinking about.

He stands near your front door, the porch of your place housing a bundle of cardboard boxes that you can recognize even from a distance. You packed them. Is he taking his stuff away?

While you are still focused on him, a familiar elderly woman exits the house and steps up next to Taehyung, looking at him with a smile as she hands him some kind of paperwork. This is your landlady. And there is only one kind of paperwork she could be handing over to Taehyung.

Your legs move before you have even established it in your head that you will intervene in this situation, carrying you up to the duo within seconds.

“Taehyung,” you call out, wide eyes focused on the file in his hands. “What’s… what’s all this?”

His eyes double in size when they meet yours. And then they travel down your body, taking in the maroon dress beneath your coat, before coming back up and pausing at the vast amount of skin your dress' plunging neckline exposes.

You didn't end up wearing Daniel's gift, after all, feeling like a fraud.

Taehyung clears his throat, a distant look in his eyes when they meet yours. "Wha… You're… Why are you here?"

"I live here." You blink at him. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, he was just here to request a removal of his name from your lease," the landlady butts in with a saccharine smile. "I told him it is a complicated process. He has a copy of the deed which he can talk to his lawyer about. And, ah – hope you don't mind that I used the master key to get to your spare room." She casts an affectionate glance at Taehyung. "Tae was waiting so long to collect his things in the freezing temperatures, it started to worry me."

A cold sweat breaks out on the back of your neck, your grip loosening on your handbag. On yourself.

He is leaving.

He is finally leaving – removing himself from your life for good. Like you wanted him to.

You…wanted him to. Didn't you?

You were tired of his unannounced visits that messed with your head. He was never gonna be yours so you wanted him to not be around you at all. You wanted him gone.

You have wanted him gone for a year.

Haven’t you?

So then what is this bone-chilling fear that travels up and down your spine? Why are your hands shaking? Why is your throat dry, your eyes watering, shit, why do you feel like throwing up?

You don't know why your body reacts so viscerally to the news you have been awaiting. You don’t know the reason, but you recognise the signs.

This is exactly how you felt when you put your foot down about Taehyung's casual treatment of the two of you, last Christmas.

This is exactly how you felt when you broke up with him.

Fuck.

"Yeah." He bites down on his bottom lip, conflict and worry visibly swirling in his dark irises even in the dimness of the evening. "Was about to book a cab. Didn't… expect you to be back… so early."

Fists tightening and eyelids fluttering, you will yourself to hold on for just a little more time.

That is when your mind catches up with Taehyung's vague statements. You're back before midnight – way before midnight, it's barely even eleven – from your damn dinner. Taehyung probably expected you to celebrate the beginning of the next year with your date. Which you should've done, ideally. Tomorrow's a Sunday, anyway. Hell, maybe Taehyung expected you to go home with Dan instead of coming back here at all. Which, again, you should've done. Ideally.

But Taehyung doesn't know your date was far from ideal. You're a bad person for treating amazing and kind and sweet Dan like shit. You're an even worse person for wanting nothing more than to kiss your ex-boyfriend till you asphyxiate and then sob into his chest until you pass out.

Fuck.

You don't want him to leave.

Fuck fuck fuck, you will go insanely out of your fucking mind if he leaves.

He can't leave.

"You look pale… How was your date? Nothing – nothing went wrong, did it? Are—"

"Everything," you mumble, uncaring of the obvious concern that blooms across Taehyung’s face. "Everything went wrong, Tae… Everything went to hell, and you let it. You made it. Everything crashed and burned and you didn't even fucking care. And—"

And now you're leaving…for good.

You choke on a sob.

Taehyung steps towards you. "What? Hey, are you—"

"Why didn't you care, Taehyung?" Your voice breaks – as does your poise, knees buckling to make you stumble and nearly fall, tears trickling down your face. "Why didn't you love me enough to care?"

A pair of arms instantly surrounds you and a warm chest presses in your shoulder. "Shh, shh, breathe."

You peer up at him to find Taehyung’s face pinched in distraught agony, eyes clouded with doubt and fear. "Tae…"

"I'm here, I'm here."

"No… You're leaving…"

He pulls away to look at your tear-stricken face with a bewildered frown. "Yes, but I'm not gonna leave you like this."

"What if I'm like this forever? After you're gone?"

His lips part and eyes soften. "No, you won't be. You—"

"I love you, Tae."

His entire being freezes right there against you.

And for a moment, so does yours.

But then a calm acceptance unfurls in your chest, assuring you that you are finally being honest with yourself. With him. You're not noble enough to protect him by lying to him.

You break out of Taehyung's grasp, causing him to stumble a few feet away from you as if he was leaning into you for support and not the other way round. His gaze never strays from yours, though. And it never stops being haunted.

This haunting resounds in your very soul, reminding you of the emptiness you've carried around with yourself ever since you pushed the love of your life out of it. The pain in your heart reaches its pinnacle and a tremor wracks through you.

Arms shaking, you reach forth with both your palms to delicately cup his face and bring it closer to yours. "I'm in love with you, Taehyung. I haven't stopped being in love with you, not for a moment. And I cannot live without you in my life. I thought I could… I thought I needed you out of my life to get better, but… That was a lie. I needyou. All your monthly visits that I thought were a problem – they were all that was holding me together… I was surviving off of them, not in spite of them.” You gulp to clear your throat of tears, squeezing your fingers around Taehyung’s cheeks that are getting warmer just as his eyes are getting redder and shiner. “Tae, the thought of you going away for good breaks me. There’s this – there’s this crack that forms in my heart, in my soul, at the thought of not having you around anymore, and I feel like it will never heal. Like I will collapse and never recover."

Exhaling, you step closer and brush your nose against his, watching how his eyes fall shut with the action, allowing tears to escape. Your own eyelids lower to match his.

"Tell me what to do… Please."

His shaky exhale brushes warmly against your lips. Slowly, his arms come up to cradle your waist, locking your form against his chest. And then, in a barely there whisper, he says: "Kiss me?"

A tiny sob escapes you, the pain in your heart diluting and the pressure on your chest alleviating. You wouldn't have known what to do with yourself if he pushed you away.

But he didn't. He asked you to kiss him – the way you have been wanting to for hours, now.

So without another word, you close the gap between your lips and his.

A shuddered breath leaves you at the first contact, loaded with relief as well as desire. Taehyung responds immediately, deepening the kiss, allowing his fingers to greedily dig into your waist and his throat to release a pleased hum. Shivers dance through your body at the familiar sound. And then he runs his tongue to part your lips, and the shivers transform into spasming shudders, prompting you to wind your arms around his neck and shoulders to hold yourself steady.

Your body slowly familiarizes itself with his motions again, reconnecting with the woodsy but mild cologne he wears that is only perceptible when you're pressed up so close to him. One of your hands finds the curls on the base of his neck, and your nails card through them the way you know he loves. His appreciative grunt is delivered with a bite to your bottom lip, and with your own whimper of need, you open your mouth against his.

The kiss moves from a teary mess of emotions to something more passionate – something driven by the hunger you two feel for each other.

Lightheadedness starts to crawl over you because Taehyung's intense kisses leave no room for you to catch a single breath, and his own lung capacity bypasses yours. But now that you have his mouth slotted against yours after so long, you would rather pass out in his embrace than be the first one to pull away.

When Taehyung finally runs out of oxygen, he separates from you with a wet gasp. Your body scrambles to regulate your breathing, but you find yourself suspended in delirium, so out of it that you nearly sway in his arms.

But Taehyung's hold on you is firm and secure, the large span of one of his hands pressing between your shoulder blades to support you. His forehead tips against yours and labored breath mingles with your own.

"I love you, too," he manages to whisper between the audible gulps of air he's taking in. “Never stopped.”

Neither did you.

You open your mouth to tell him just that, when a gust of freezing wind blows through your street, rolling over the exposed skin of your calves beneath your dress, and your teeth chatter in a gasping exhale.

Taehyung's eyebrows squeeze together. "Fuck, it's freezing out here and you're in a dress. Let's get you inside," he says with a quick glance towards your legs, and you don't miss the flare that sparks through his eyes.

Getting inside your house together is going to entail more than just escaping the cold winds.

He quickly bends to pick up the file he must have dropped earlier, and then looks at you with a small smile as you step closer to him. Folding your form into his side, he walks up the stairs of your porch, passing by the pile of his boxes, and knocks at your landlady's door. The woman opens up so quickly, you wonder if she's been standing right there all this time, trying to eavesdrop on you and Taehyung. You wouldn’t put it past her, to be honest.

“Oh!” She acts surprised. “Are you both going somewhere?”

“Yeah. Back in.” Taehyung grins at you and hands the file of the lease papers to her. "For good."

Tilting her head to the side, she presses a hand to her chest and coos. "Oh my God. I can't express how happy this makes me. I wish you two nothing but happiness!" But she's just looking at Taehyung. Ugh.

"Yeah, thanks – hey, can we talk some time later?" you interrupt in a rush. "Kinda freezing here."

With wide eyes, she gestures the two of you away.

Taehyung is chuckling when he unlocks the door to your house. "I can't tell if she is just that dramatic or if she has a crush on me. I mean, she's probably my aunt's age if not my mom's. It's a little embarrassing, but it's also cute."

What's cute is the way he can't stop rambling.

Taehyung has always had a very distinctively overpowering persona when it comes to sex. He has never fooled around when it came to this part of your relationship, making up for the sincerity he lacked elsewhere in bed. Which is why you know it’s only a matter of time before that switch is flipped and he starts to elude that intensity which renders your brain useless.

So you take advantage of his present distraction. You know he doesn’t realize what you are planning, which gives you the perfect opportunity to wait for him in the foyer while he locks the door – and pounce upon him immediately as he turns to face you.

Your lips connect with his surprised ones in a clumsy clash, making his body fall back against the shut door from the force. The surprised laugh that escapes his mouth in a huff is swallowed by your tongue licking up his bottom lip. One of his arms wraps tight against your waist and the other palm cradles your jaw. Heat surrounds you with his possessive touch.

Your tongue slides past the edge of his mouth to curl around his teeth, until he opens his mouth wider and wraps his own around yours. His throaty groan that accompanies the action travels down to your center, stoking the fire that is building up between your legs.

In the months you have spent away from him, you have had just your fingers and the memories of your time together to support you through your self-imposed celibacy. And this abstaining has built up into an infernal need now – a need for him. Having his mouth on you isn’t enough. You need him all over you, fused together with you, you need him in you.

“Tae,” comes your breathless call.

Humming, he pulls away from the kiss to drag his lips down your face, pressing hot kisses down your chin, and settling against your pulsepoint, sucking a bruise into your tender flesh and stealing all the air from your lungs. “Yes, baby?”

Fuck, his voice keeps getting deeper with every passing moment. Desperate for more contact, your hands tug his sweatshirt up, one fist bunching in the fabric over his back, and the other reaching for the warm skin beneath. While his lips descend to your collar bones, fervently pressing kisses to the exposed flesh of your chest, pushing your coat off your shoulders, the nails of both your hands rake up his back, tugging at the article of clothing in their wake.

Taehyung takes that moment to gain the upper hand – ending your fun with him barely five minutes into it. Separating himself from the door to walk you backwards into your apartment, he begins to easily maneuver the two of you towards your bedroom. You manage to work his sweatshirt off his abdomen, causing him to lift his head to allow you to swipe it off him completely. While he runs a hand through his hair to tame them, you take his taut, solidly built body in, and sag against the wall behind you with a dreamy sigh.

His chest is heaving with breathless pants, pecs hard and dewy with sweat. You scan down the rest of his firm torso, down to the waistband of his jeans, and then your gaze settles upon the sizable bulge in them. It’s not like you ever forgot how freaking massive Taehyung is, but the visual evidence still makes your tongue feel heavy in your dry mouth.

You wonder if you’d be able to convince him to let you taste him.

He is on you, the next second, lips re-attaching themselves to the top curves your breasts. God, his body feels warmer without the barrier of his clothes, heating you up with the contact just as much as he is by his ministrations. While you are thinking of getting rid of your dress, Taehyung seems to get the same idea. Running down your thighs over the garment and then climbing back up under it, his large hands mold over the globes of your ass, digging into your flesh.

“Fuck, Tae,” you breathe into his hair, both hands marking up his shoulders with the death grip you have on them

He responds by obscenely pulling your ass cheeks apart and then pressing them together. Whimpering with want, you desperately lift one of your legs up to his waist. He invites it by hooking one of his hands beneath your knee to properly wrap your limb around him, before pushing you harder against the wall, he takes the liberty to pick up and lock your other leg in place around him as well.

The damp cloth of your panties rubs down the zipper of his jeans, and both of you gasp at the contact, eyes meeting in wordless wonder.

You wordlessly raise your arms up to express what you want, meeting his heated stare with your bottom lip pulled into your mouth when he looks at you from beneath his brows.

Cursing under his breath, Taehyung quickly tugs your dress off of you, attaching his lips to the soft flesh of your ribs beneath your right immediately. The heat of his mouth as he works his way down to your belly button and licks his way down to the edge of your panties has you soaking through them.

“Tae, please,” you gasp, “bed.”

He obliges immediately, rising up to hold you to him as he carries you into your bedroom. His eyes are dark and dangerous when he catches your stare, and up close, it becomes really hard for you to maintain eye contact with him.

But as soon as you lower your lashes, one of his hands comes up to grip your jaw, his motions not bruising, but definitely not soft either. His jaw is clenched and nostrils flared when you look at him again. With a gulp, you feel your arousal drip down your thigh.

“Do not take your eyes off of me,” he grunts against your mouth, planting a tight kiss on it. “Understood?”

“Yes,” your agreement comes hoarse and a glint of satisfaction sparkles in his eyes at the sound.

The lethal dominance Taehyung exudes right now completely removes him from the guy you kissed against your door, minutes ago. He gets off to the power he holds over you, evident with the way his eyes always shine when he has you needy and whiny for him. And that just makes you needier and whinier.

Walking up to your bed, he sits on the edge and arranges you in his lap with an arm wrapped around your waist, giving you barely any time to settle before his free hand flicks your bra open. Tugging it down your arms, he forgoes fully removing it in favor of pressing his thumb against one of your nipples and swirling it around. A gasp rips through you, making your body arch into him and eyes roll into the back of your head.

You expect a reprimand for looking away from him, but he instead uses that moment to lower his head and replace his thumb, engulfing the taut peak of your breast into the fiery cavern of his mouth.

“Feels so fucking good…”

While his tongue plays around with your nub, making a mess on you the way he loves to, his hands don’t sit idle either, busying themselves in ridding you of your panties. You brace your knees on the mattress outside of his thighs and rise up to aid him. But his impatience gets the better of him and he leaves the scarp of clothing hanging on your ankle to quickly bring his hands back to your bare body, touching, squeezing and kneading his way around your ass, your back and your shoulders, and finally looping his arms around you to focus on your boobs again. He switches sides, suckling and nibbling on the neglected peak.

Pleasure starts to coil up tightly in you, making you all the more aware of the emptiness in your pussy. Looking for some sort of relief, you readjust yourself on his lap, sliding sideways to straddle one of his legs.

"Oh, fuck—" You cut yourself off with a breath hissed in through your teeth.

Your new position has made your heated, needy center press up strongly against Taehyung's buffed thigh, and the pressure has flares of arousal shooting through your veins, circling through your entire body. Your knee brushes his crotch, and the stiffness it encounters makes all semblance of self-control slip right through your grasp.

"Taehyung," you breathe, clawing at his shoulders with both hands, and he just hums against your chest, around a mouthful of your boob. "I need you…"

He hums again, never letting your flesh out of his mouth. "You have me."

Fuck, is he trying to be witty right now? You release a desperate whine, dreading the thought of having to convince him to touch you how and where you need him to because Taehyung plays a long game when it comes to edging you. Your wound up body cannot deal with that right now – you fear you'll say the wrong thing in your state and he will just use that to prolong your pleasure all the more.

His hands go back to your ass and the feel of those sinfully long fingers on you makes you wish they were in you, and—

Shit.

The bruising grasp he has on your butt makes your body slide against him, and fuck, the way his thigh muscles flex against your bare pussy has you seeing stars for a moment.

You want more of it.

Tentatively but eagerly, you grind down against the coarse fabric of his jeans harder, immediately throwing your head back in groan when a feverish wave of arousal runs through you at the motion.

Fuck, this is so lewd and you are so gonna leave a wet mess on his clothes, but you can’t stop yourself from moving again. And again. Grinding down, rolling your body towards Taehyung, and allowing the side of your knee to brush against the bulge that you would have begged for, had you not gotten so impatient.

Within the next few moments, Taehyung lifts his head off of your chest and meets your dazed gaze with his dark one. His eyes scan the length of your torso to connect to his thigh. You roughly swallow at his perusal, already getting closer to the edge because of its increasing darkness. And then he releases a shuddering breath, the slight surprise on his face being taken over by fascination.

“Are you fucking yourself on my leg, baby?”

His bluntly dirty question comes in a voice so guttural and low, the vibrations make your body temperature turn a few degrees up, pushing another groan out of you. One more filthy word out of his mouth, and you will explode.

You nod in response, attempting to pull yourself together enough to open your eyes wider to take him in better. His bottom lip is tucked between his teeth and his pupils have expanded dangerously. A bead of sweat travels down the side of his neck, collecting over the hollow of his collarbone. The fact that he is so turned on that he is sweating in this freezing December weather drives you insane. Unable to resist him, you press your lips against his throat, opening your mouth to let the salty taste of skin unravel against your tastebuds.

His grip on your waist tightens to a squeeze, until he lets go and leans back, supporting his weight on his palms that he plants on the mattress behind him. Your hips continue their roll on his thigh and your mouth works its way down his torso, tongue swiping at his nipple and eliciting a muted curse from him. Looking up, you’re treated to the breathtaking sight of his flushed face with his eyes closed and lips parted. His chest pulses with every gush of breath he takes, urging you to move on his thigh in a rhythm to match.

Bleary eyes open to connect with yours down his nose from beneath a curtain of dark hair, just as his upper lip curls away to bare his teeth in a fatally sexy grin.

“You look so fucking gorgeous, you know?”

You do?

You don't have any words to describe to him how delicious he looks in this moment – not that you'd be able to articulate them if you even had them – so you just let his thick and breathy voice wrap around you. When your motions falter, you bring both hands up to mold over his muscly shoulders for support. But your thighs are starting to feel the burn of exhaustion zipping through them.

And the grinding alone isn't enough anymore. Your pussy is still empty, trying to clench around nothing.

"T–Tae…" you whimper as a last resort, hoping he's turned on enough by the sight of your deranged self to comply without teasing you. "I need more…"

"Oh, yeah?" comes his breathy lilt and you nearly sob in frustration because nope, no chance – he's gonna tease you to death. "My thigh's not enough for my horny little baby?

You shake your head, slowing down as your leg muscles fully give up.

"What do you need, baby?"

His dark eyes are sincere despite the humor in his tone, and the small smile he sports has more adoration than hunger. So you take your chances.

"Your fingers," you boldly express, biting down your lip as you quietly add, "and your mouth."

You feel the jerk his length gives at your words, but Taehyung doesn't say a word about it, lazily smiling at you as he sits up to grope at your body. An eyebrow rises up.

"And not my cock?"

Your eyes dip down to his crotch again, and he chuckles.

"Although I'm not going to give it to you yet," he adds, confirming his plans that you already had an inkling of, “but wouldn’t you even ask?”

Pouting at him, you grind your hips down against his leg again, and wrap your arms around his shoulders. Fuck, he is so broad. This is why his shirt sleeves become sweater paws for you.

"Why won’t you give it to me yet?" you coyly murmur, trying to capture his lips in a kiss but failing when he tips his head away.

"Because you seem to have forgotten your manners," he informs you with a tiny, mocking smirk. "Not listening when I tell you to keep your eyes on me, grinding yourself on my leg like a slut without my permission, and demanding my fingers and my mouth without a single polite word."

His eyes slowly solidify into unforgiving pools of disappointment and you shiver. “P–p–please. Please give me your mouth, Tae,” you quickly amend, causing amusement to twitch his eyebrows into arches.

“Now wasn’t that so much better?”

With a nipple pinched between his fingers and your earlobe between his teeth, he fluidly flips the two of you over, so that you're laying on the bed with your feet planted on the ground, and he is hovering above you. Pressing kisses down your sternum, he descends your body to kneel between your parted legs You follow his dark eyes, barely breathing, and then rise up on your elbows when his hot breath brushes against your extremely sensitive center.

"Look at this poor pussy,” he coos, nudging at the wet mess of your lips with his nose. “All messy and tired… Do you need to come, baby?”

You nod like a bobblehead doll, wide eyes not daring to leave his now.

Much to your surprise, he doesn’t play around at all, and dives in with his tongue immediately. Your moan of his name makes your body wring out tightly, hands fisting in the sheets next to you, and hips almost lifting off the bed.

Taehyung growls against your sensitive flesh, opening his eyes to glare at you. “Are you trying to test me?”

Your shiver at his hissed question, but quickly shake your head. “It just… it’s been a while.”

His face drops for a quick moment, before a vicious look enters his eyes again. “Not like anyone could ever eat you out like I do.”

Not like you even let anyone do that, but not to get too sappy. “N–no one, Tae! Only you do!”

He gets back to work, pressing his mouth against you and letting his tongue lash into your channel, before he moves his mouth higher up and takes your hypersensitive clit between his lips. You have barely had a moment to absorb the shock of pleasure that rips through you at that, when you feel two of his fingers running up and down your entrance – coating in your wetness, before they slip into you. And they go deep, driving right up against the sensitive spot in you that they know the route to better than your own fingers, pressing down and rubbing at it in circles.

It’s all downhill from there – your body thrashing around the bed, hands fisting his hair and eyes screwing shut as you reach your peak in record time. White noise muffles your ears and fire explodes in you. All thoughts leave your brain blank for what feels like whole minutes.

Your orgasm lasts almost longer than the time it took for you to get there.

When you come back down from your embarrassingly quick but blindingly amazing high, your eyes open to the sight of Taehyung’s fingers, coated with your juices, sliding past his swollen lips. You thickly swallow. Admiring the way he tongue comes out to lick over a manicured nail, a tiny moan escapes you.

His eyes connect with yours, the heat in them giving way to amusement. “Want a taste?”

Mesmerized, you nod, mouth watering at the sight of his endlessly long, elegant fingers. God, is it weird of you to want to swallow someone’s fingers? Because as soon as Taehyung straddles you, you grab his palm with both hands and push his index, middle and ring fingers into your gaping mouth. And as soon as the taste of your release mixed in with the taste of his spit meets your tongue, you make a seal around them, and suck.

A sharp breath is drawn in by Taehyung at your action, his eyes now pitch black as they look down at you.

Your tongue plays around with the edges of his nails, before you suck more of his digits in to push them towards your throat, essentially swallowing them.

“Fuck, fuck, are you kidding me,” Taehyung moans out, making more of a statement than a question, followed by your name. “Love my fingers that much?”

You obediently nod your head, looking at him with wide eyes, and his own turn heavy. His hips are in your direct line of sight, which makes it easy for you to actually see the way your response causes the tent in his jeans to become bigger.

When he pulls his pruned fingers out of your mouth, your eager hands make a grab for his waistband to quickly unbutton and unzip him. He surprises you for the second time tonight by letting you get away with it. You tug the denim past his ass and wrangle his tight shorts off similarly, hissing in delight when his fully hard cock springs free to smack against his tight abdomen.

The head is angry and coated with precum, so fucking irresistible, it beckons you towards it. But this time you do not forget your manners, looking up into Taehyung’s eyes through your lashes.

His stare is already on you, though, and it is heavier than it has been all night.

“Stick your tongue out,” he murmurs in a voice that has gone down another few octaves.

And you do, properly sitting on your haunches as he kneels on the bed before you.

“You can suck it for one minute and one minute only. I don’t want to come before I’ve felt your pussy.”

Fuck, why does that bring heat to your cheeks?

“Okay,” you whisper, reaching ahead with a hand to wrap around his thick length and placing the fat head on your extended tongue.

He grunts when you wrap your tongue around him. Knowing you don’t have much time, you let the spit accumulated in your mouth to act as lubricant over his cock, and open your mouth wide to take him in. He hits your throat when half of his length hasn’t even made it into your mouth, and you relax yourself to let him slide in.

But Taehyung brings his hand down to clutch at your hair, shaking his head when your eyes meet his in surprise. “J–just your tongue.”

FUck, did he stutter? You’re so fucking proud of yourself.

With renewed vigor, you draw slightly back and hollow your cheeks around his tip, rolling your tongue over it like a lollipop, you firmly suckle it. Spit mixed with his precum dribbles down the side of your jaw, which causes Taehyung to bite down on his lip.

Before you can really get into it, though, he pulls himself out of your mouth and grabs you by the shoulders, breathing hard above you. “Enough. Wanna fuck your pussy, now…”

Using the leverage on your shoulders, he pushes you back on the bed and throws a leg across your torso to straddle you. His other hand cards his hair away from his face. Some strands have gotten stuck to his forehead, which he scrapes away with the back of his nails, and you are struck by the elegant beauty of his finger once more.

It is not weird to want to swallow someone’s fingers, okay? Not when that someone is Kim Taehyung.

Out of nowhere, you notice how the rings he wears are thin, silver bands instead of the huge chunky rocks he used to. The hand on your shoulder is devoid of them too, with similar bands looping through his index and ring fingers. It could very easily be a style choice, but something tells you it is a choice brought on by the change in his lifestyle.

Sucking in a sharp breath, you reprimand yourself for never catching any signs. So much wasted time because you really thought he wouldn’t change and he was being a dumbass with all that poetic don’t deserve you shit.

“Where’s your head at?” He smirks at you, having gotten rid of his disheveled clothes properly, and situates himself between your legs again. “Don’t go all pillow princess on me, now—”

“Choke me.”

His eyes boggle out at your sudden words. “Wha…?”

“I was thinking of your fingers.” It isn’t a lie, only a partial truth. “How fucking gorgeous they are. And how fucking badly I want them on me. I want them to bruise me, Tae… Please?”

His cock smacks against your thigh and he hisses a deep breath in through his teeth, letting his tongue rest against his upper lip as he regards you. “You sure?”

Elated, you eagerly nod. “Absolutely.”

“Do we, uh, need a safe word?”

“No, we don’t,” you confidently reassure him with a smile.

“And can I do it bareback?”

“Ye—uh, what?” You gape at him.

His smirk turns into a sheepish smile, body leaning down to cage you between a hand that is planted next to your head, and the other one which is playing with your boobs and slowly climbing its way up towards your neck.

“I haven’t slept with anyone since you,” he says it simply, easily, as if he is telling you what he had for dinner.

But you notice how he doesn’t meet your gaze and you also notice how the veins in his neck look a little too strained.

Sighing fondly, you bring your hands up to brush through his hair. “Neither have I.”

His stance relaxes and rounded eyes run to meet yours. “Are you still—”

“On the pill? Yes.” At his confused look, you roll your eyes. “It helps with my period, okay? Now will you get on wi—ack!”

The hand roaming your throat suddenly tightens over it, thumb digging into your pulsepoint while his fingers curl around your windpipe to restrict your breathing. Through wide eyes you see him wet his lips and lean over yours. The flat of his tongue sweeps across your mouth.

“Not a word from you unless it is about how good I’m making you feel,” he whispers and you leak an ocean of arousal, shivers running up and down your spine at the low-pitched threat. “Understood?”

You quickly nod, swallowing against his fingers. With another lick of your trembling lips, Taehyung straightens to sit up and use his free hand to smear your arousal around your slit.

“You have made a mess, baby…”

You can hear the mess he is talking about, his fingers squelching away as they separate your pussy lips and toy with your clit. Just when you feel tears gathering in your eyes at the overwhelming sensations that are still not enough, Taehyung decides to finally line the head of his cock up against your entrance.

The initial push feels harsh, not particularly stinging, but definitely feeling foreign after the long abstinence you’ve had. But as he gradually eases himself in, your pussy seems to recall the feeling of pleasure associated with the thickness of Taehyung’s massive cock. He can never make it into you in a single slide, always having to make repetitive pumps to fit all of him in.

“Tiny fucking pussy,” he rasps through clenched teeth, lips parted and eyebrows furrowed, gaze zeroed in at the place you are joined. “So greedy but can’t even take me properly…”

Indignant, you want to tell him there is no one but you that can take him ‘properly.’ No one but you who tirelessly braves through his tendency to overstimulate you because he’s a fucking stallion who takes forever to come and has to have you clenching around him to trigger an orgasm.

But you keep your mouth shut, writhing a little as you make tiny noises of pleasure, because he literally has your vocal chords in his hand.

Hips moving away, he pistons back in, pushing further inside you. This is when he finally looks up at you. But this time you have been looking at just his sexily scrunched up face, nearly unblinking, so a proud grin splits his lips.

“Almost there, baby,” he reassures you unnecessarily, because you are having a fucking blast either way.

He pulls out and plows back in again, reaching deeper – and deeper – and deeper, until you feel the base of his pelvis meet your clit. Your jaw drops in surprised pleasure when he grinds against you, and your hips chase after him when he pulls back. Chuckling, Taehyung leans over you, removing the hand from your throat to bring it up to your face and cup your cheek.

“You okay?”

No, not really. You need him to move. But you know he’s asking about your throat, so you bite your lip and give him a small nod. “Never better.”

At first he smiles, but then something dark enters his gaze. “Never better?”

Shit, why does he have to spin every word out of your mouth into something to tease you with? His hips pull back and snap against yours to make a point, an eyebrow rising up.

"You better now?"

Whining, half in embarrassment and half because his length reaches insane depths in you, you shake your head. "N–not yet—"

He repeats the motion, this time harder and faster. "Now?"

You are pushed up the bed by the force of his thrusts, but still collect enough willpower to shake your head, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip. "M–more…"

This time, Taehyung hooks an arm beneath one of your knees, pulling your legs apart wide, and situates your calf on his shoulder, next to his face. Turning, he presses a soft kiss to your ankle, and then grits his teeth to continue with the pounding that is rapidly gaining momentum.

He doesn't say a word, after that, just stares at you through quiet and calculative eyes and you know he means business. God, the way his head brushes against the bundle of nerves in you with every powerful thrust is bringing you closer to your release. You wanna shut your eyes and rub at your clit. He has barely started, but you have been so wound up, you just want to come.

But as soon as a single hand of yours leaves his shoulders to travel to your body, Taehyung takes the hand he has around your boob, to smack the back of yours with. You gape at him in surprise, which turns into a moan of his name when he presses deep into you and gyrates his hips.

"Don't even think of touching yourself," he hisses at you, teeth bared and eyes narrowed. His hair hangs above them, but they manage to do nothing to cut the intensity of his stare. "You've had enough time to do that in a year. Now it's my turn to touch you…"

And fuck, that is so fucking hot of him, your mouth drools and some spit leaks down the side of it. He rubs it off with a thumb and then leans down to kiss you. Your leg stretched to its maximum elasticity, but Taehyung sucking on your tongue gets your mind off of it.

This time when he separates from your body, your fingers subconsciously reach for the tips of your breasts, tweaking at your nipples.

Taehyung's eyes flash with fury. "Are you doing this on purpose? If you needed me to tie you up so bad, you should've just asked.”

The words float over you, not really getting to you through the haze of pleasure that every single of his sharp thrusts into your pussy has you suspended in. Until, that is, Taehyung is gripping both your wrists and holding them with a single hand, above your head. A lacy but soft touch meets your wrists while you're still gaping at Taehyung's sharp jaw with a confused face.

And then it registers – he is tying your fucking hands…with your fucking bra.

Gasping, mostly out of shock but also out of the bout of arousal that his action sends through you, you begin to protest, "Tae, I wasn't—'

"Shh," comes his crisp admonition, accompanied by a glare through his eyebrows that makes you shake in place. "You will keep your mouth shut if you don't want it full of your wet panties."

You're not as opposed to the idea as you would've thought, but you do not dare to challenge Taehyung into doing it. Because he won't end it there – he will deny your release as punishment, too, and that is something you are absolutely in no shape to bear right now.

So you pull your lips in and allow him to send your body jostling up the bed in time with his strokes. One of his hands comes up to squeeze at your boobs, while the other reaches down, thumb pressing into your clit, rubbing tight circles over it.

“This want you wanted?” His tone is light, contradicting the darkness in his eyes. At your shaky nod, his hand climbs up your chest to grip at your jaw, thumb dipping into your mouth, which you waste no time in sucking on. Hissing, he narrows his eyes. “So fucking needy… You’d take anything I gave you, won’t you?”

With his thumb pressing down on your tongue and hips pinning you to the bed, you’re as much at his mercy as you can be. There is no point trying to put up a fight. So you admit in a barely coherent mutter of, “Everything.”

His eyes flash with heat, and he charges into you at a renewed pace, going harder and faster. You momentarily wonder why he hasn't attempted to flip you on your stomach when that is his most favorite position to have you in, but all thoughts are soon wiped off your brain when Taehyung’s digits on your clit get rougher, harsher, until you can feel yourself beginning to tighten around him. The crash comes unexpectedly, catching you so unawares your mouth drops open in a silent scream, eyes widening and then rolling back.

Waves after waves of pleasure hit you, running through your veins like molten fire. You can feel Taehyung fuck you through it, groaning into your neck as he peppers kisses over your sweaty skin.

By the time you open your eyes, he is close to his own completion, body tensing and stuttering above you.

“Whe…where do you want me,” he moans into your neck, “to come?”

It takes you less than two seconds to decide: “Inside.”

Taehyung’s surprised eyes find you as he immediately lifts his head to rest his chin on your collarbones. “Are you su—”

“Please,” you breathe, locking your tired legs around his waist. “Wanna feel you fill me up, Tae, please…”

A different shade colors his face at your words, motions getting stronger but also sloppier. “Yeah? You w–want my cum, baby?”

His jaw is clenched and broad body looms over you, his dominance never weakening despite the way his words are beginning to stutter and slur. Your pussy feels worn out, battered, slightly overstimulated – but when Taehyung’s breath starts to break into gasps, you feel a fire ignite in you again.

Nodding, you push your breasts against his chest and meet his heavy lidded gaze with your wide-eyed one. “I’ve missed it s–so much,” you hoarsely tell him, biting down on your lip. “Love the way you make a mess in me… And when it dr–drips out—”

“Fu~ck,” Taehyung groans low in his throat, forehead resting against your chest and teeth biting down into the soft flesh. His hips stray from yours, jerking back twice before finally fusing together with yours, just as warm spurts of his cum shoot up in you.

The sensation is foreign but so fucking familiar at the same time, you lose your breath, matching Taehyung’s heaving breathing, both your fists clenched in their restraint and eyes screwed shut to absorb the sensations bursting across your body.

It takes him a while to pull out of you, and you almost want him to stay in longer, whining when he sits up between your legs with a dazed grin. “You’re really fucking unbelievable, you know?”

Again – you are?

Your legs are jelly, your brain has turned to marshmallow goo, and your throat is too raw for speech stronger than a raspy whisper. You don’t even wanna think of the state of your pussy; everything’s kinda numb down there, and you wonder if the overstimulation has actually muted your nerve endings to—

“Ah, shit!”

Nope, you definitely still have all your nerve endings very much alert and sensitive – so sensitive, they make you flinch with your whole body when Taehyung’s tongue travels through your nether lips.

“Wh–what are you doing, Tae—fuck!”

“You looked so fucking good,” he murmurs into your pussy, and you feel like you will fall off the bed with how much you are twisting and arching up – to get closer or away from him, you’re not sure. But then his teeth grazes your thoroughly sensitized clit and now you’re definitely pulling away. “Tiny fucking hole,” he continues, seemingly lost in his head, “leaking so much cum…”

Oh, God. It is now that you realize Taehyung is eating what is the mixture of his cum with yours. And having the time of his life doing it, if the moans he pours into you are any indication.

His comfort with tasting his cum isn’t new to you, but the reminder still zings your body with a thrill – and to your utter shock and slight dread, you feel your stomach bunching up with a fresh wave of desire. Taehyung seems to catch the subtle way your hips undulate towards him, and with a groan, presses his tongue farther in you, curling it up as if to collect all the liquid he can.

It doesn’t take much after that. The depraved imagery of Taehyung enjoying the taste of his own release does half the job, and his skilled tongue that doesn’t sit still for a second is more than enough to bring you to another earth-shattering orgasm, one that is so strong, it’s borderline painful.

“Fuck, baby, the way you clench on my tongue…”

Your foggy eyes look at Taehyung’s wet and shiny lips that are spread in a delighted smile. He cups your face with a palm and pulls you into a soft kiss when you sniffle, untying your hands with the other. He tastes like you and him combined, and the only reason your moan comes out breathy is because your vocal chords have given up on you.

“Maybe I should’ve paced this,” he softly brushes against your lips, pulling away to peck your cheeks and wipe your eyes, “and not raw-dogged you in one night.”

Laughter blubbers at your lips, turning into a fond smile when Taehyung situates himself next to you and brings your face to rest against his unfairly thick bicep. “I wouldn’t have let you,” you whisper in your embarrassingly papery voice. “Missed you too much.”

“I’ll draw you a warm bath later.” He plants a kiss on your forehead, and then looks at you with hesitant eyes. “You really, uh… didn’t have sex in a whole year?”

The almost nervous look on his face reminds you of what he said to you this evening, about you being the only one for him – about his heart being yours ever since your first accidental date. You release a breath and confess, “I haven’t even dated, Tae. The – the one tonight was the first one I was trying…”

Awe bleeds to understanding, and eventually to offense on his face. “You made it sound like you’d been dating for a while! You asked me if I wasn’t dating, as if it should be obvious!”

You shut your eyes with a wince. “I felt like a fool. Felt like I was contradicting myself by telling you I didn’t need you and then also admitting how lonely I’d been since you.”

His gaze is sincere when he looks at you again. “And now? How do you feel now?"

"In love," you honestly confess, feeling your cheeks heat up when adoration overtakes his face. "Happy. And you?"

"Hopeful," he immediately says, like he doesn't even have to think about it. "Determined to make this work, dead set on making you happy." He brushes a thumb against your cheek. "Eager to build a future with you."

Your chest fills up with too many emotions at once, making it hard for you to breathe. He wants to make an effort. He really wants to do it the right way.

Although you had concluded his intentions by the conversation you had in the evening, it is unbelievably gratifying to hear him put it in words. By declaring that you were better off without him, he had basically proved to you that he truly understood how you saw your future and the fact that he did not fall on the same page as you, a year ago. And so now, hearing him tell you he wants to make it work, you know that he is finally on the same page as you about the two of you.

You have never been a fan of fairytales or a believer of magic. You never considered fate to be a thing until you met Taehyung due to a twist of it, and then in your separation with him, you found yourself going back to your earlier beliefs about its non-existence.

Nothing happens because it's meant to be. Nothing happens unless you make it happen.

Tears collected on your waterline, you purse your lips to stifle a sob. "Building a future with you is what will make me happy, Tae."

He gives you a soft smile. "I love you."

"And I love you." Grin matching his own giddy one, you close the distance between your mouths.

“First date at the Town Center after my performance?” he murmurs between kisses, and you nod.

“Yes, please!”

Just then, loud fireworks shoot off somewhere in the distance.

You both separate with matching surprised looks on your faces. Taehyung’s eyes travel past your shoulder to your nightstand, and his lips part with a small smile. “It’s midnight.”

“Happy new year, Tae-bear,” you murmur, teary-eyed.

“Happy new year, my love.”

He looks at you with a light brighter than all the world’s fireworks sparkling in his eyes. You lose yourself in them .

And this time – it’s forever.

— note #2: sooo the v first time i’m actually posting a birthday fic on the correct date! yay! =D wish you the happiest birthday ever, tae-bear 🥺 your giggles have gotten me through the worst of days, i love you so much <3

links to be updated later!

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