#[ everyone is always talking about it in autumn but i literally never tried it ] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hanilessa · 9 months

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before reading please pay attention to the series masterlist, to make sure you have read the previous chapters!

your likes, reblogs and replies are greatly appreciated! i hope you like it, enjoy reading!

HALF AN HOUR FOR LOVE — Childe x F!Reader Chapter 14. Pinky promise

There was a feeling of awe in your heart, and you smiled when you saw Xiao smiling happily walking in front of you and talking to Ayaka. Their faces radiated happiness and contentment after so many obstacles. You took a deep breath and marveled at how fresh the air was, despite the late autumn and the exhaust fumes from passing cars.

The breeze enveloped you from all sides, developing your hair in different directions, but this didn't bother you at all, because now you were really happy. Your brother has passed the entrance exams and next year he will study at the academy, which he dreamed of entering since childhood. You were very happy.

You and your friends stopped in front of the cars, as if waiting for something. Ayaka, feeling a little shy and throwing timid glances at Xiao, fingering the folds of her skirt. You thought that the girl didn't want to say goodbye to your brother at all, and it was very sweet. Ayaka was a sweet, shy, and very intelligent girl.

You knew about your brother's nature. Basically, he was always sullen, read a lot and was often silent, preferring to ponder thoughts and things rather than say it out loud. Ayaka was the complete opposite of him. She lacked self-confidence, but she was very sociable, if you get along with her.

You thought that a person like her could be a good friend for Xiao. You were brought out of your thoughts by the voice of a girl who finally decided to speak, attracting everyone's attention to herself.

"I would like to know…" Ayaka said in a thin voice, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. "Would you like to celebrate passing exams somehow?" She glanced timidly at your brother.

Xiao blushed slightly and hesitantly looked into your eyes as if he was looking for some support from you. It was very cute! You had the feeling that he wanted to ask you for advice on what he should have done in such a situation. He wanted you to help him with his romantic interest.

But how much did you know about romance and relationships? You have no experience in relationships and have never had romantic feelings for anyone.

The only person who made your heart feel unusual feelings was standing behind you right now. But you didn't know what the relationship was between you and Childe. Can you give Xiao good advice if you didn't know anything about romance?

"It would be nice to celebrate it. Don't you think so?" A familiar voice was heard near your ear, and your heart literally jumped out of your chest when Tartaglia's warm breath touched your skin.

You jumped away from the man in fright, as if from a hot fire, and your cheeks instantly turned red. Your friends' eyes shifted to you. It was really embarrassing. But you didn't know what bothered you the most. Everyone's attention or such intimate actions on the part of a ginger man.

You tried to look casual and, with a slight chuckle, said in a trembling voice, "Yes, it would be nice if we celebrated the successful passing of the exams! I would like to show Xiao the city."

You caught your brother's amber eyes, and he nodded his thanks, completely embarrassed by Ayaka's attention.

"Then let's go to the amusement park!" The girl's lips stretched into a joyful smile, and she grabbed Xiao's hand, making him even more embarrassed. "I have never been to our city amusement park!"

Your heart skipped a beat for a moment when you heard Ayaka's words. Your heart overflowed with many feelings, bringing you back to the past. At the time of your first date. Nervousness enveloped you from head to toe, and like branches with thorns wrapped around your body.

Would you like to be in that amusement park again? With him? You wondered how you would feel when you were back at the amusement park. And what could that mean for Childe?

"Then I take my leave." Ayato's voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you noticed with excitement that Tartaglia had been carefully watching your expression all this time, and for some reason his mood also abruptly ceased to be calm. "I'll send a car for you, Ayaka."

"Okay, brother!" The blue-haired girl nodded and smiled happily. Ayato got into the car and looked at you and your brother.

"It was nice to meet you, Y/n. I hope this isn't our last meeting." You nodded and tried to smile. Immediately after that a man with blue hair turned to your brother. "Please take care of my sister, young man."

Xiao nodded in embarrassment and slightly awkwardly squeezed the girl's hand tighter. Ayato smiled contentedly and shifted his gaze to Childe. You noticed that both men seemed to be waging a silent struggle with their gazes. But you couldn't understand what was the meaning of this struggle and which of them won it.

Tartaglia met Ayato's gaze with indifferent, dead blue eyes. It seemed as if sparks were sparkling between the two men and a huge hurricane was raging, which swept away everything that was in its path. Ayato smiled and Childe understood what Ayato wanted to tell him with his look.

And you take care of Y/n, Childe.

The ginger man gritted his teeth, admitting defeat, the realization of which pricked his heart with nasty needles, as if trying to tell him something. He felt nothing but disgust for himself, but he knew he fully deserved it. After all, he used you to a certain extent to achieve his goal.

He didn't think it would be so hard. To see you every day and understand that one day he will have to hurt you and trample on him and your friendship. Yes, you and he were friends and Tartaglia considered you the person he really wanted to be friends with. A crazy thought popped into his head. Or did he want both of you to be more than just friends?

Ayato smiled contentedly as he noticed how Childe tensed up. The ginger man's face was very tense and focused, as if he was thinking about something that made him doubt himself and his actions. This was enough to make Kamisato Ayato feel like the most satisfied person in the entire world.

You didn't think it would be so problematic. It was stuffy in the car, and there was no way to open the windows, because all of you could be blown with cold air. You were in the front seat next to Childe, who was driving. The car drove to the place where your feelings and emotions were stored, which you shared with the ginger man in moments of your happiness.

It seemed that you were the only person in this car who was ready to just melt on the spot from embarrassment. Nervousness filled your mind in waves, like a huge tsunami that could overwhelm you, leaving you without oxygen. Which you really lacked in this period of time.

Behind you, you heard Ayaka's loud joyful voice and Xiao's muffled calm voice, and you were kind of glad that you and Childe weren't alone with each other right now. You glanced at the man next to you out of the corner of your eye, and at that moment your and his eyes met, that made you immediately look away and blush excitedly.

Your heart beat in a frightened rhythm in your chest, drowning out all the sounds in the car, so you couldn't hear the heavy sigh that escaped the man's lips. It was like a sigh of weariness or a sigh of sadness, as if he was saddened or distressed by something. But you couldn't hear it because your heartbeat drowned out all other sounds in the world.

The amusement park greeted you with the same bright colors and a lot of attractions, as well as at the time of your first stay here. You awkwardly got out of the car and followed Xiao and Ayaka, who was leading your brother forward with a smile and telling him something. Behind you, the slow steps of the ginger man could be heard, and your hands sweat from excitement.

You and your friends went to a small tent where there was a fishing attraction. Rubber and plastic fish swam in a small pool filled with water, attracting your attention. It didn't go unnoticed by you how Childe perked up at the sight of toy fish and a toy fishing rod. Just for a moment, for a moment, it seemed to you that a small ray of light flickered in his empty dead eyes.

"Dear ladies and gentlemen, don't miss the chance to receive exclusive toys as a reward for your victory." The owner of the attraction tried to get your attention by showing you the various toys that were on the stand behind him.

You watched with a smile as Ayaka and Xiao agreed to take part in the challenge. The teenagers looked happy and smiled, and their happiness was transferred to you. You were immersed in your thoughts, so you didn’t notice at all how the ginger man behind you leaned closer to your face, immersing the entire space around you in his scent.

"Will you let me be the one to catch that fish for you?" Tartaglia whispered in your ear, making your skin crawl and you tremble like an aspen leaf. The man's voice was sweet, like honey from a beehive. It poured into your ears.

"A-ah!" You excitedly tried to recoil to the side, but, to your dismay, on the contrary, you pressed closer to the man’s chest and almost lost your balance. But Childe's strong arms didn't let you fall to the hard ground, carefully holding you by the waist.

"Be careful, princess. We both don't want you to get hurt again. Right?" The gentle whisper of his lips excited you much more than the fact that the people around you were looking at both of you right now.

Your heart continued to beat in your chest at a fast pace, tossing from side to side, like a bird trapped in a golden cage. Embarrassment and awkwardness exceeded your possible limits, and you urgently needed to come up with something that could divert everyone's attention from you.

Luckily for you, you spotted a small stall that sold drinks and ice cream, and you decided this would be the perfect chance to get out of an embarrassing and awkward situation.

"It's so hot in here. Don't you think so?" Laughing awkwardly, you asked and looked innocent when your friends looked at you. "Let's buy cold drinks!"

"Y/n, it’s quite cold windy today." Xiao said calmly with a raised eyebrow as he watched you and Childe who was still standing next to you.

"Are you hot? Do you have high temperature?" Tartaglia leaned closer to your face and put his hand to your forehead. Your cheeks flared brightly and you immediately scolded yourself for trying to get away from the embarrassing situation only made your embarrassment worse. "Your forehead isn't hot. How are you feeling now?"

You sighed heavily, realizing that there was no way you could avoid this embarrassing conversation any longer, and replied, "I'm fine. Please, let's move on."

To your delight, the embarrassing situation was hushed up and all of you continued your journey through the amusement park. You all made the decision to take a short break after the attractions and have a bite to eat.

You sat on a wooden bench and looked around. The couples walking in the park started to catch your attention, and if not for the presence of Ayaka and Xiao, you and Childe would also look like a couple on a date.

"Y/n, are you sure you’re okay?" Your brother inquired with some concern as he noticed you fidgeting nervously in your seat.

"I'm fine." You tried to smile reassuringly, but it seemed to you that Xiao didn't believe you at all. "Please pay no attention to me and enjoy today. You deserved it."

Xiao just nodded, deciding that you're really fine and he doesn't need to worry.

You were left alone again with your thoughts, which took you further and further away from reality. It was very strange. You have never behaved like this, you have always been confident in your words and actions, your voice almost never trembled, and you have never acted so stupidly.

Was there a name for this feeling that made your legs tremble and your heart beat faster in your chest? It wasn't a cold or a fever, but you always felt that heat in your chest when...

When Childe was by your side.

"Here, take it." The man's voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you absent-mindedly looked at the thing that was in Tartaglia's hands. In his hands he held cotton candy. The cotton wool cloud was pinkish in color and smelled good. It was the sweet smell of strawberries.

"Thank you." Your voice was quiet, and you took the cotton candy in your hands, carefully biting off a piece of sweetness. The ginger man sat down next to you and also began to eat cotton candy.

This moment was very calm and peaceful, all of you were silent, enjoying a pleasant day. The cotton wool on your tongue melted instantly, and the sweet taste of the red berry spread in your mouth, giving you pleasure and a pleasant sensation.

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest again, because your body felt the presence of Tartaglia next to you. You felt warm and cozy when he was next to you, and this feeling wasn't like having your family members, mom or Xiao next to you. It was different, but it also felt familiar, like Childe was part of your family.

Embarrassing thoughts crept into your head again about how you would feel if he loved you. You shook your head sharply in an attempt to drive away the embarrassing thoughts, and it attracted the ginger man's attention.

He turned his attention to you, noticing your movement next to him, and for some reason a gentle smile appeared on his lips as he reached for your face and ran his finger along your cheek, brushing cotton candy off your cheeks and making you freeze in place.

"You're so sloppy."

At that moment, space and time stopped for you, leaving only you and Childe to exist in this Universe. And yours, overflowing the edge of the bottomless pit, all-consuming feelings.

You suddenly jumped to your feet, attracting everyone's attention and forcing Tartaglia excitedly and uncomprehendingly to get up from the bench after you.

To stop any questions in the bud, you put your hand in front of you, blocking Tartaglia's path, and said, "I'm sorry, I need to leave for a few minutes."

And without giving anyone a chance to object, you disappeared behind the first stall you came across, frightened pressing your hand to your heart beating wildly in your chest.

You felt like you and ginger man were playing cat and mouse. Each time he tried to approach you again and talk, offering to visit some attraction with him, each time you came up with more and more ridiculous excuses to quickly disappear from his sight.

His sad deep blue eyes wounded your heart with sharp daggers every time you refused him and ran away, trying to get away from your embarrassment and obsessive thoughts. You couldn't help yourself, just as you couldn't calm your crazy heart that was going crazy next to the person you were trying to run away from.

The sun was gradually turning the sky red and orange, and when the two combined, it created a beautiful crimson hue. The cold rays of the sun illuminated your path to the big ferris wheel. You left Xiao and Ayaka alone, not wanting to interfere with their nascent friendship.

You noticed that big ferris wheel the other time you and Childe were on a date, but unfortunately you didn't get a chance to admire the bird's eye view then. That's why you decided you had to do it now. And you really wanted to see the sunset from a bird's eye view.

Noticing that the movement of the wheel almost stopped to let new people inside the small booths, you quickened your pace so as not to miss this opportunity and not wait for another full turn of the ferris wheel.

To your joy, you managed to run into the first booth that came across and took a breath, closing your eyes. You evened out your breath, feeling how the ferris wheel gradually begins to slowly move up.

"Have I offended you in some way, princess?" An unexpected voice from the side took you by surprise, because you were sure that this booth was empty. You opened your eyes and your gaze met Tartaglia's blue eyes. He was sitting in front of you on the seat. "You've been avoiding me all day."

The ginger man's face was illuminated by the setting sun, the rays of which penetrated into the booth. He looked calm and peaceful, but it seemed to you that his face reflected a hidden feeling of sadness.

And at that moment, a feeling of guilt spread like poison throughout your body, and you were ready to scold yourself with all the most terrible words. A man just wanted to spend his time with you, and you so ruthlessly denied him all this time.

Conscience gnawed you from the inside and you, sighing, sat down on the seat in front of Tartaglia. You looked out of the booth window and noticed that your booth was already high above the ground. Therefore, you no longer had the opportunity to avoid this conversation.

"I'm sorry, I acted like a child." You finally broke the silence, and it attracted the ginger man's attention.

His blue eyes from contemplating the crimson sunset moved to your face, illuminated by the last rays of the sun. It seemed to him that at that moment you shone brighter than all the stars in the Universe. The man's chest was squeezed in a vise by unknown feelings.

Feelings boiled in his heart with pain at the fact that you deliberately tried to keep a distance between the two of you, and bloomed with bright fragrant flowers at the moment when he saw your beautiful face again. It was bitter and sweet at the same time.

You continued to say, "It's about our date."

Childe's heart skipped a beat when you talked about the day that made him hate himself the most.

"You left so quickly that time without explaining anything." Words were given to you with difficulty, but you continued to speak. Meanwhile, the sunset spread like fire across the sky, preparing to cover the Earth with a starry blanket. "And when we got back to this amusement park, I just didn't know how should I behave with you."

The guilt tore his soul apart. Childe had the feeling that someone was holding his legs and arms and pulling him in different directions in an attempt to tear him apart and give him the pain and confusion, that you felt at the moment when he unceremoniously left you alone on a cold evening in an empty amusement park.

"I acted like an idiot towards you." Tartaglia was sincerely sorry, and he understood that it was he who became the cause of his current state. And that it was his own fault that you avoided him today. "I'm sorry."

The ferris wheel continued its unhurried movement in a circle, it seemed that reaching out to the birds flying in the sky was very easy.

"I already forgave you, remember?" You tried to smile to dispel the oppressive atmosphere.

Tartaglia felt his tense body relax when he saw you smile. It seemed that your smile could cure him of any ailment. He smiled gratefully at you, after that his face took on a serious look.

"Let's promise that we will always share our feelings with each other." Tartaglia said and extended his little finger to you, leaning slightly in your direction to be closer to you.

You smiled slyly and also moved closer to the ginger man, holding out your little finger to him and connecting your finger with his finger, "Do you remember that if you break a pinky promise, the frost will freeze your tongue off, and you will never lie again?"

Childe caught your high spirits and squeezed your pinky with his, also smiling slyly.

"Princess, how could you think that about me?" He made a feigned upset look and lowered his eyebrows sadly to make you feel sorry. "I never dared to disregard a pinky promise!"

"This is true?" You raised your eyebrow with a smile. "Then make one more promise so that I will definitely believe you." You rose from your seat because of a sudden desire to be closer to Tartaglia.

The ginger man did the same. Now you and he were standing in front of each other, it seemed that your and his breathing were in sync, and your hearts were beating in unison.

"Promise me that next time you and I will go on a real fishing trip." The man whispered, and at this moment his eyes found your pink lips.

"I promise." You smiled so sweetly and squeezed his pinky with yours and Childe's heart fluttered in his chest. "And you will catch the biggest fish for me."

As if in a daze, he stood and looked at you — the person he wanted more than anything in the world. A sudden desire to kiss you on the lips popped into his head. He thought that kissing you in the rays of the setting sun was the most wonderful idea that could come to his mind.

His hand moved on its own and landed on your cheek, gently caressing your skin. The thought was so ingrained in his brain that he couldn't help it as he leaned closer to you.

And then the world froze.

"Y/n!" Xiao's voice came from the side as you both felt the ferris wheel stop moving. Tartaglia froze at a decent distance from your face, not having time to taste the sweetness of your alluring lips.

Coming out of the sweet daze, the first thing you saw was the blush on Childe's cheeks. To think about the reasons for his red cheeks didn't give you your brother's voice, who insistently continued to call you by name.

Still holding the ginger man by the pinky, you turned to the side and noticed Ayaka and Xiao, who were waving at you.

To Childe, you were so beautiful and cruel at the same time. One moment you were ready to be the one to give him the most wonderful kiss of his life, and the next moment you were the one to let go of his hand and leave him alone in the ferris wheel booth, never knowing that at this moment he madly wanted to kiss you.

— taglist: @httpmitsuya @gojoandelsalovechilde @duckyyyx @i-x4o @chishiyawifesworld @ajaxstar @kiryoutann @xiaosonlybeloved @aloveablechaos @obervation-subject-753 @beyaaaafr @silverbladexyz @funicidals @simpfully-heartbroken @r0ttenhearts @cocoanvt @5sausefandom @yevene @hamsuigok @stxwpid @childeismylove @chickoritasy @randomhumans-blog @nxwiqv

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ohmyamor · 9 months

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grand theft autumn (where is your boy tonight?) | P.SH

Pairing: Seonghwa x fem!reader

Summary: New towns often mean new beginnings. But for Seonghwa, he’s determined to hate his new home until the end of time. Until you come along.

w.c.: 3.8k

warnings: humor, some fluff, cursing, angst

author’s note: I’ve never really written super angsty stuff so this was a little experiment I took on to challenge myself a bit! please feel free to leave feedback of any kind and I hope you all enjoy~

where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman/maybe he won’t find out what I know, you were the last good thing about this part of town

Park Seonghwa is seven years old when he decides he hates his parents.

Not literally, but he’s mad enough to pout in the backseat of their little family sedan the entire eight-hour drive it takes to relocate their family from their old home to the middle of nowhere.

Again, not quite the middle of nowhere, but if seven-year-old Park Seonghwa is anything, it’s dramatic.

The day his parents had sat him down at their dining table and told him they would be moving was one of the worst days of his life.

That Saturday had been unlike any other. With both of his parents working full-time, Seonghwa was often left to his own devices. But this particular day, both of his parents had taken the day off. They took him everywhere he wanted, including the county fair that he had been begging to go to for weeks. They even bought him the Lego Star Wars set he had been wanting, but his parents deemed ‘too expensive’.

Seonghwa had often wondered to himself what the point of working all the time was if his parents never had any money.

After a busy day of doing nothing but things he wanted to do, Seonghwa was on cloud nine. Nothing could change his mind that this was the best day ever.

Until suddenly it wasn’t.

Packing had been a blur.

His parents had encouraged him to make piles of toys and clothes that he no longer wanted and would donate, claiming that the objects would make other little kids very, very happy. Seonghwa conceded, but not without a few tears.

After packing their belongings into a few boxes, his parents ushered everyone into the car and next thing he knew, Seonghwa was watching his childhood home grow smaller and smaller through the rearview mirror.

When they finally arrived to their new home, Seonghwa refused to get out of the car. He sat stubbornly in the backseat, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. His mom tried encouraging him to get out, telling him about how big his new room would be while his dad just sighed and stepped out of the car.

It wasn’t until both of his parents were out of the car and inside the new house that Seonghwa began to get a little freaked out by the unknown and hurriedly unbuckled his seatbelt, bolting out of the car and into the new house.

As he sat in his new room that was empty and dusty and he’s pretty sure had homed a small family of roaches, Seonghwa vowed to always hate this new town.

Park Seonghwa is nine years old when a new girl arrives in his class.

Up until this point in his short life, Seonghwa would say he’s done a fairly good job at keeping his promise. His school is small and not many kids attempted to befriend him when he started. The teachers are old and don’t really care about anything other than making it through the day with their sanity still in tact. His mom found a job that allowed her to stay home most days of the week, but she was always more preoccupied with talking to the other moms in the neighborhood, while his dad continues to work all the time.

Although it was lonely at first, Seonghwa is resourceful, if anything. He knows how to keep himself entertained and he’s grown to appreciate the solitude, even as a nine-year-old.

It’s the beginning of the school day when his teacher stands up to make an announcement. Which will be difficult considering all the students are practically screaming at the top of their lungs.

“Class, please quiet down.”

Seonghwa pities the woman.

“Today, we have a new classmate joining us!” A small girl with short hair and choppy bangs stands next to the teacher, fumbling with her lunchbag.

“This is (Y/n) and I hope that everyone here does their best to make her feel welcome.” The teacher looks down at the girl and sends her a small smile.

“Go ahead and take a seat next to Seonghwa, sweetie. Seonghwa, raise your hand please!”

Seonghwa raises his hand and watches alongside the entire class as the new girl makes her way awkwardly down the aisle to her new seat.

Once she sits down, the teacher claps her hands and tells the class to take out their things so they can begin the lesson. Seonghwa says nothing to the new girl who now occupies what used to be his backpack’s seat.

It isn’t until the girl takes out a sparkly purple pencil alongside a Darth Vader eraser that Seonghwa says something.

“I like your eraser,” he whispers.

The girl looks at him through the corner of her eyes.

“Thanks.”

Park Seonghwa is twelve years old when he realizes how annoying people can be.

After your initial introduction in elementary school, Seonghwa had invited you to play with him at recess and lunch. After all, anyone who liked Star Wars was obviously a good choice of friend.

From then on, you and Seonghwa had become inseparable. Wherever Seonghwa went, (Y/n) followed, and wherever (Y/n) went, Seonghwa followed.

And although starting middle school was terrifying, Seonghwa found it easier with someone by his side. He had been a little worried that starting middle school would mean he would lose his best friend, but (Y/n)’s angry face and the way she slapped his arm and called him stupid when he voiced these feelings reassured him he had nothing to worry about.

Seonghwa had grown a little bit, so had (Y/n), and they had found new friends, but no one could ever replace the role they had in each other’s lives.

He’s sitting with some of the other boys in his class working on a science worksheet when a loud “PSSST” breaks his concentration. Seonghwa looks up, mildly annoyed.

“What?” he whispers.

The three boys that sit at his table grin.

“Is it true you and (Y/n) are dating?”

Seonghwa startles, dropping his pencil on the floor and, in an attempt to pick it up, knocks over his water bottle. The entire class stares at him and Seonghwa feels his neck and ears burn.

“What?”

One of the boys rolls his eyes.

“You guys are like, always hanging out together. Obviously you two have to be dating.”

Seonghwa makes a face.

“We’re just friends,” he replies, looking back down at his worksheet.

“uh-huh,” the boys say sarcastically.

“Besides,” Seonghwa continues. “Girls are gross. Why would I want to date one?”

Later that evening, when Seonghwa retells this story to you as you both sit on the grass in his backyard, he honestly should have expected the hard slap you deliver to his shoulder.

“Girls are not gross!” You shouted. “If anything, boys are gross AND stupid.”

You stick your tongue out at him and Seonghwa laughs.

As you two lay down watching the sun fade away and the moon takes its place, Seonghwa decides maybe he won’t always hate this town.

Park Seonghwa is fourteen when he has his first kiss.

Technically speaking, it’s both of your guys’ first kiss.

The two of you were older now, both in high school and simultaneously incredibly far away and way too close to being adults.

Seonghwa sits at your desk, working on his history essay while you lay across your bed groaning over something. You had been talking about something, but most of it had gone straight into one of Seonghwa’s ears and out the other. Not that he didn’t care about your problems, but at the current moment, he kind of didn’t care.

“So will you help me?” Your voice breaks his concentration.

“Huh?” Seonghwa doesn’t look away from his paper nor does he stop writing.

“Will you teach me how to kiss someone?”

Seonghwa’s heart jumps and now there’s a dark blue line running across half of his paper.

He turns around slowly and wide-eyed. You’re sitting cross-legged and staring at him expectantly.

Seonghwa says nothing.

You sigh and look away, mumbling a “nevermind” under your breath.

“Wait, no, I’m just-” Seonghwa stumbles over his words. “I’m just-confused? How do you want me to help? Why do you want me to help?”

He stares at you as you look down and fiddle with your hands. Seonghwa’s known you for long enough to recognize your fidgeting as nervousness and discomfort.

The thought of you being uncomfortable around him makes him frown.

You whisper something and Seonghwa leans forward to try and catch what you’re saying.

“Dude I can’t hear you-”

“I want you to be my first kiss!” You shout.

Seonghwa thinks he hears the windows error sound.

Apparently his silence freaks you out even further because you continue to talk, rushing and stumbling over every other word.

“It’s just, like, embarrassing, yaknow? Everyone else has had their first kiss, and I mean we’re in high school and I haven’t had mine yet and my friends keep asking me and I know they’re going to tease me when I tell them and I just don’t really want my first kiss to be with someone random which is why I figured I would ask you because you’re my best friend and I trust you but I also don’t want to make things weird so if you don’t want to that’s fine I just thought I would ask.”

“I’ll do it.”

Seonghwa wants to throw himself out of your window.

“You will?”

You look at him with such happiness in your eyes that Seonghwa knows he can’t back out now.

He nods.

“Thank you!” you beam at him before scooting over and patting the empty space on your bed.

“W-wait, like, right now?” Seonghwa stutters.

You shrug.

Seonghwa lets out a small “okay” before getting up from the desk chair. He’s sat on your bed a million times before, but now, it feels like the distance between the chair and your bed is a million miles long. Seonghwa’s suddenly very aware of everything as he awkwardly makes his way over to you. His legs feel too wobbly, his heart is pounding and his hands are sweaty.

He finally sits down next to you, but refuses to make eye contact.

“We can’t do this if you don’t look at me,” you remark dryly.

“Right,” Seonghwa clears his throat.

He turns to face you and now he’s even more hyper-aware of all the sounds and smells in the room.

Have you always had a mole next to your nose?

“Just so you know, I haven’t kissed anyone either,” Seonghwa blurts out when you close your eyes.

He watches as you open them and meet his eyes and shrug.

“I mean, I don’t care, that’s the whole point of this, right? Practice?”

You furrow your eyebrows.

“Unless you wanted to wait for someone special, then we don’t have to do this-”

Seonghwa’s head shaking cuts you off.

“No, I wasn’t waiting for anything. I just wanted you to know that I don’t know what I’m doing either.”

The smile you send Seonghwa makes his stomach feel weird.

At age fourteen Seonghwa has his first kiss-with you, his best friend.

It’s clumsy and awkward and the two of you hit your noses more than you would like to admit, but something about it makes Seonghwa feel happy.

Content.

Park Seonghwa is sixteen when he admits he’s in love with you.

After that night in your bedroom, after a few too many times of the two of you awkwardly bumping noses or teeth or turning your head the wrong way, there was an unspoken agreement to not talk about it. Seonghwa believed it was because you were embarrassed. Maybe he was a bad kisser or maybe his breath smelled bad or maybe you thought kissing him was a mistake. Or maybe, just maybe, it didn’t mean anything other than just that.

Practice.

But that thought hurt the most.

See, because while to you it might not have meant anything, just a way to ensure you would never have to undergo the embarrassment of admitting you had never kissed anyone before, it had meant everything to Seonghwa.

After Seonghwa had gone home that night, he couldn’t stop thinking about it, about you.

It had been five years since he met you and all it took was one kiss to flip his entire world upside down. True to teen fashion, Seonghwa did his best to ignore these newfound feelings. How cliche, to fall in love with your best friend just because of one kiss. Like many other problems in his life, Seonghwa elected the easy way out. To ignore the problem and hope it goes away.

Except the problem, his feelings, never did.

In fact, they continued to grow and grow and grow every single time Seonghwa saw you in person (which was a lot, considering you two are best friends).

And it seems that ignoring the problem has come back to bite him in the ass as he watches you bounce around in your seat, the harsh lighting of the crappy little diner you two sat in doing nothing to compliment anyone’s features.

Seonghwa still thinks you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen, though.

“What?” he asks, eyes darting away from his chocolate milkshake to meet your eyes.

“He asked me out!” you squeal, reaching over to dip a french fry in Seonghwa’s milkshake.

He grumbles, smacking your hand away but not with any real hostility. He decided long ago he would let you dip as many fries as you wanted in his shakes, even if it meant giving up half of it.

Seonghwa stays quiet, eyes focused on the neon “open” sign that rests on the window behind your head.

“Hwa?”

He looks back at you, your head tilted slightly and eyebrows furrowed.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

Oh.

Right.

“That’s awesome (Y/n),” Seonghwa forces a smile onto his face. It feels wrong, saying those words and forcing his face to do something when his heart wants him to do the opposite.

Seonghwa’s thoughts are filled with nothing but if only’s.

If only you didn’t share a class with that guy. If only you didn’t think he was attractive. If only you never asked him to kiss you. If only you never moved to his town. If only he had the guts to tell you he’s in love with you.

But if only’s will get him nowhere.

Seonghwa can tell you don’t believe him, especially with the blank stare you send his way.

Nonetheless, Seonghwa can’t find it in himself to try and reassure you that he’s happy for you, because he’s really not.

You don’t say anything though, you just grab another fry and dunk it in his shake before plopping it in your mouth.

“Don’t worry,” you start through your chewing. Seonghwa grimaces. “If anything happens, you’ll be the first to know and I give you full permission to beat his ass.”

You grin and Seonghwa smiles back.

Right.

The date doesn’t end up going great.

“He was nice,” you had said, “but something about him is just, off, I guess.”

Seonghwa nodded silently.

He feels slightly guilty for the way his brain and heart jump with joy over the news.

Park Seonghwa is eighteen when he realizes he has no clue what he wants to do with his life.

Unlike other kids his age, Seonghwa considers himself to have a fairly good memory. He can remember most things that have ever happened in his life, ranging from good to bad memories, which often comes in handy when he wants to write sentimental gift cards or simply press play in his brain to make a diy slideshow of every moment he’s ever shared with you.

But sometimes the memories bother him.

Seonghwa vividly remembers being seven years old and sitting in his old family car after his parents uprooted his entire life. Seonghwa remembers vowing to always hate this town that he’s called home for the past eleven years.

And despite that vow, despite that hatred he still somewhat holds in his heart for this sad, old town the two of you live in, he can’t find any reason to leave it.

By this point in the year, most students have already applied to college. Some have chosen to stay, some have chosen to go far, far away, and some decide they would rather not continue school at all, which Seonghwa thinks is fair.

Unlike those other students, Seonghwa hasn’t even decided where he wants to go. His parents and teachers continue to ask him what he wants to do, what he wants to study, and his response is the same every time.

A small shrug of his shoulders and turning his attention back to whatever he was doing prior.

The uncertainty scares him, if he’s being honest. Not knowing what he wants to do with his life and not even knowing if he’s willing to follow through with the same vow his seven-year-old self made.

Seonghwa admits all of this to you one night.

Like many other nights, the two of you lay on the grass in his backyard. He offered to get a blanket, so you wouldn’t have to lay on the wet grass, but you waved him off.

“It’s part of the experience,” you had said.

The sun has long been set, but neither of you make any attempt to move from where you lay elbow to elbow, watching the moon and the stars.

Seonghwa is slightly out of breath by the time he finishes his rant. It feels good to get that off his chest, the heavy thoughts of uncertainty and disappointment lurking in his brain and weighing him down for the past few months.

You reassure him that it’s okay that he has not even the slightest idea of what he wants to do. That school and society are stupid for forcing literal children to decide what they want to do with their lives at such a young and complicated age, and you’re sure that there’s a million other kids out there who feel the same way.

Your speech is passionate and fiery, one of the many things Seonghwa admires about you, and he can’t help but feel grateful that the universe has given him the bestest friend he could ask for.

Seonghwa smiles at you, and links your pinkies together before turning his back to stare up at the sky. It’s quiet for a few moments before he hears you speak again.

“I want to leave.”

Seonghwa turns his head to face you, but you don’t look back at him. Your head remains forward, eyes flitting around to look at the constellations above.

Neither of you say anything else.

Park Seonghwa is 19 years old when he sees you for the last time.

Graduation had come and gone, and although high school was not quite as grand as it had appeared in the movies, Seonghwa couldn’t help but be proud of you both. You survived, despite everything, and you finally made it to the end (of this chapter, at least).

Seonghwa eventually realized he couldn’t quite find it in his heart to leave this town. It was small and old and didn’t have much, but something about it had wormed it’s way into Seonghwa’s heart until he eventually admitted that parting ways might not be the best idea. For now, at least. He was satisfied with getting a job, spending some more time with his parents, and taking some courses at the local college.

Up until now, you had never mentioned your plans about the future to Seonghwa. He would never tell you this, but that night when you admitted you wanted to leave scared him. After all, you two had been as thick as thieves for the better part of your lives. What would happen if you did leave? Who would Seonghwa be without you?

But, you never mentioned your plans to leave again, and so he allowed himself to sink back into the comfort of blissful ignorance and convinced himself that that would not be a problem, and definitely not so soon.

But now, as Seonghwa stands watching as you place your final box into your car, he can feel his entire world crashing around him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” you say, standing in front of him.

Seonghwa says nothing. His eyes continue to dart back and forth between your face and the car.

“Why-” Seonghwa’s voice cracks. “Why would you not tell me?”

He swallows.

“I thought we were best friends.”

He knows his words hurt, but at this moment, Seonghwa can’t really find it in himself to care about the way you flinch at his statement. Words hurt, but Seonghwa can feel his life falling apart around him.

“We were! We are.” Your eyes look at every corner of his face.

“But I need to get out of here Hwa,” your voice is soft. “It’s so suffocating, being here and seeing the same people and doing the same things.”

Seonghwa tries to ignore the way his heart pangs at your choice of words.

“I just feel like if I want to live a happy life, if I want to be grow into a person that I’m going to be proud of, then I need to leave. I need to experience other things and meet new people.”

You reach out and gently grab Seonghwa’s hand.

“I think you of all people should know that feeling.”

Seonghwa swallows.

There’s a million things he wants to say, but there’s also nothing he can say.

He does know what you mean. He thinks he might know it better than anybody else. That doesn’t change the fact that part of him feels like you’re leaving him behind.

It’s quiet for a long moment as the two of you stand alone on the road with your hands interlocked.

Seonghwa clears his throat.

“You’ve always been the braver one between us,” he squeezes your hand. “Be happy.”

He sends you a big smile, but he can feel the tears slowly making their way down his cheeks.

Your own eyes are shiny with unshed tears, and you squeeze his hand back.

“Until next time?” You ask, hopeful.

Seonghwa nods.

“Until next time.”

You let go of his hand and Seonghwa watches as it falls back next to his side.

He watches you climb into the driver’s seat of the car and listens to the engine as it comes to life.

With a final wave, Seonghwa watches as your car drives away, past the line of trees on your street, past the town line and away from him.

Standing alone in the middle of the road, Park Seonghwa makes a vow to hate this town for the rest of his life.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

#seonghwa x reader #park seonghwa x reader #seonghwa imagines #park seonghwa imagine #ateez x reader #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #seonghwa scenarios #kpop imagines #seonghwa x you

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ohbrightnewday · 2 months

Text

An In-depth about Damian Hubbard

So to preface, this is a mash of bway and 2024 canon, but I'm sure a bunch can be generalised to 2004 too? It goes into 2024 specifics but you can generalise if you'd like! There's also mentions of self harm & suicide in relation to Janis but there's an explicit bold warning before so please skip that if you would prefer!

It's long down here. So long. A little rambly. And if anyone has any questions/comments/ideas etc, feel free to imbox me!! I do indeed have more thoughts.

To begin with, he is a very autumn birthday to me, basing off 2024 canon, he was born 18/10/06. [Also some AU to me he is trans and came out quite young, I’d say around 11ish? He started to socially transition right before middle school started, so he began middle school in the school system as a guy. His mom and Janis were super supportive of him and his mom helped him pick his name and was so proud of him.] & He didn’t actually need to come out as gay because his mom just knew his whole life so when he started talking about the guys he saw in his English class, his mom never made it a big deal or anything that it wasn’t. He was just Damian. On the other hand, his father was a very, very absent figure from his life, sort of in and out until he was about 9 and then he just fully left. Damian ties to keep up the fun and flamboyant persona, but this really fucked with his self esteem and sense of self as a person. He struggles with getting very, very attached to people and separating himself and his identity with Theirs while still trying to keep up the “gay best friend” that people expect him to be. He knows he has to water himself down, make himself fun and dimensionless. Janis, who he’s known literally forever to me, has some idea of how much he waters himself down, but he even tries to be “palatable” for Janis, as much as he doesn’t necessarily want to hide the fact he experiences human feelings too, it’s just an automatic reaction that’s been deeply ingrained into him his whole life. They’ve been in the same elementary, middle and high school their whole life and definitely felt isolated for being the only BIPOC kids in their elementary class and in such a predominantly white area [looked up the Evanston population of POC and it’s such a very white are], and then the isolation continued because now they were BIPOC queer kids.

Other than his father leaving, Damian’s childhood was so… normal. He and Janis spent so much time together, they had sleepovers, went to amusement parks, and then sort of by fourth grade, they both became good friends with Regina, Gretchen and Karen. I think Janis was friends with them before, but it became a group of five sort of but I do feel like Damian was always kinda on the outside to all of them and it sort of got Janis pulled away. He wasn’t a lonely kid, but he wasn’t… not a lonely kid, he just always felt out of place unless he was with Janis, despite the fact I think he got on with everyone because from so young because he learnt to be less than he was. Always right in the middle but always on the outside.

In middle school, the whole thing with Janis and Regina went down and he became deeply protective of Janis, beyond how he was before. Right afterwards, I think that (tw self harm) Janis started self harming, I think it was before she was kicked out of school too. Damian found out because he invited her to a sleepover to try and get her mind off everything, but she just… forgot not to wear long sleeves and he saw. He reacted well because it’s Damian, obviously he reacted well, he couldn’t let her see the panic he was feeling. They both sort of locked eyes for a moment and Janis tried to cover it but she couldn’t and Damian didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so he just… offered her a sweater, hugged her and never brought it up again. Given that he only talked about it if Janis did, it sort of fucked with him because he was so worried about her. He was always so worried about Janis but if he brought it up, he’d cry. Then, after she couldn’t go back to school anymore (tw suicide) I headcanon she attempted the night after the Bunsen Burner incident and I’m half between she told Damian and she didn’t. I’m leaning towards it being a heated, terrified, depressed and angry spur of the moment decision where she didn’t tell… anyone. Her mom found her and ended up phoning Damian’s mom and that's how he found out - this is another thing that is there in their friendship they don’t talk about. He spent the whole night downstairs with his mom trying to act like it was fine and okay just in case. It was neither and doesn’t have the words to explain just how terrifying that night was and how much more protective he became of Janis. He is constantly worried that he’s being overbearing and too much, so he’s desperately trying to be a middle ground. This isn’t to say he doesn’t have so much fun with Janis frequently, but he’s also extremely worried about her pretty much all the time.

I also see that once Janis left school, Damian was subject to all the redirected bullying that they couldn’t give to Janis anymore. Pretty much any type and he doesn’t really stand up for himself and he doesn’t tell Janis this… ever. Because between being bullied at school, he also feels like he’s responsible to check in with Janis all the time and essentially keep her alive. He is 12 and it feels like it’s all on him because he just loves and cares about Janis so much. Every year around the anniversary date of the Bunsen Burner / space dyke (depending on the canon you wanna read this) Janis’ mental health takes a really sharp and sudden dip and Damian starts to get extremely anxious. He has to text her and make sure she’s alive and okay if she isn’t at school, he is constantly checking in and arranging plans, which he pushes as just a way to keep her distracted because he can’t explain the gnawing terror and worry he feels. Damian has this caretaking role towards Janis and he doesn’t really know how to be anything else other than funny and loving and helpful - he can’t be too much and feel his own set of worries, but he can’t be so little that he doesn’t help in any way.

I often think about perhaps the first time that he freaks out in front of Janis. He’s tried to calm himself down and it’s getting closer to the next class and Janis never arrived in this class and he has to find her because what if something happened. Turns out, she was just someone else / doing a test / making up a class, but the second he sees her, he just breaks. He can’t hold himself together anymore and Janis is almost. Confused. He’s Damian - he’s funny and he’s loving and he’s kind and … he doesn’t cry like this. It then sort of hits her just how much he must have suppressed down and kept away for her benefit? Their relationship is one that’s built on knowing everything about each other but yet, knowing so little.

#mean girls #mean girls 2024 #damian hubbard

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melina-ya · 2 years

Text

What they’re like as boyfriends;

Characters; Izana Kurokawa, Kakucho, Shuji Hanma.

Warnings; yandere, toxic behavior.

a/n; I think I haven’t posted in like a month lmao. I’m in the middle of writing my finals rn so I was busy studying. But I’m back I think.

Izana Kurokawa;

Yandere.

Mostly in a soft way, but can get a bit obsessive/ controlling. In a toxic way.

Adores you. Is absolutely obsessed with you.

The second you caught his attention, it was basically over for you.

Made it his mission to get you to fall for him. And made it everyone’s problem.

Kakucho is tired, I just know it.

Courted you in the most obvious way possible. Everyone could tell he was absolutely whipped for you.

He’s lost so much in his life and it kinda made him a bit cray cray, so he just couldn’t lose you too.

And eventually you started falling for him too. Or maybe it was the manipulation.

You just couldn’t keep denying his attention. He was charming when he wanted to be. Bought you flowers and other gifts. Found solutions to problems you just couldn’t figure out.

Also you found it nice getting so much attention. You weren’t used to it and suddenly this idiot is following you everywhere, doing everything you tell him to.

This made him the happiest guy alive.

He was always gentle with you the entire time of your guys’s relationship. Until he wasn’t.

You’ve never witnessed any side of him other than his sweet puppy personality you loved so very much.

So what went wrong? You didn’t even do anything wrong. You were truly innocent.

It was the guy’s that hit on you at your friends birthday party tonight who just couldn’t take no for an answer.

Izana agreed that it wasn’t your fault, that however didn’t change that it happened.

So far he tried to hide his controlling ways from you, but after that incident it want possible anymore.

Hacking your phone and tracking it just wasn’t enough anymore. So he put a tracker in you. He also made sure you knew.

You were his. As much as he is yours.

Kakucho;

Now listen, is he a simp? More or less. Is he a softy? Absolutely. Does he also have a bad boy side? YES.

He’s a soft boy, but people often forget how much of a badass this man can be.

Like he brings you flowers at every little achievement in your life.

And carries you bridal style everywhere. Cuz you deserve it.

Or just stares at you attentively while you’re talking about something you’re passionate about.

Sometimes he can’t even fall asleep without the soothing sound of your voice.

But then on the other hand, he intimidates every guy he sees looking in your direction.

Then again, just because he has this kind of side to him doesn’t mean he wants you to see him like that.

In front of you he’ll always be the sweet boyfriend you know.

He’s a really good cook and loves cooking for you. If you ask nicely he, of course, would teach you.

Imagine standing waking up in the morning and not finding him in bed, but when you go to look for him he’s in the kitchen preparing your guys’s breakfast.

Livin the dream.

He’s a romantic at heart.

You know that tiktok where the guy like puts his hand on the edge of the table so she doesn’t hit her head? Yeah that’s him.

He’s not much of a drinker anyways but def wouldn’t get wasted or even slightly drunk in front of you.

You can drink as much as you feel like or nothing at all he would be there to take care of you.

When you finally met Izana it was super important to him that you two get along. Like wants you to act like literal siblings with each other.

10/10.

Shuji Hanma;

Loving him feels like the four seasons, depending on his mood.

It feels warm and loving and fun just like summer when he’s in a good mood. Which is usually the case.

Other times it can feel peaceful with a light breeze like the autumn sun when he feels windless.

Maybe sometimes a bit cold, uncaring and antiseptic like winter when something upset him. Would never tell you tho.

But then again devoted, adoring and affectionate like spring, when he’s feeling lovey-dovey again.

It’s almost impossible to predict his next mood. Kinda toxic.

Despite his sometimes bad mood he would never deny his love and adoration for you.

It doesn’t matter how mad he is, he still loves you. He just can’t control his emotions very well.

At the beginning of your relationship he wasn’t the most cuddly, that however changed over time.

His easygoing kinda crazy personality first didn’t let him be emotionally available towards you. He first saw you as only a little excitement.

But after you broke through that first wall of many to come he started seeing you as more. He fell in love. At first it seemed absurd to him, he didn’t believe in love. You were just fun to hang around.

Then he caught himself thinking about you, your laugh, your smile, that expression in your eyes. The moments he had with you just wouldn’t stop replaying in his mind.

He had to face it. He, the Shuji Hanma, Ikebukuro's “Shinigami”, fell in love.

His behavior towards you didn’t change much, so he thought. You caught him smiling, like genuinely smiling, at you once before he even realized he loved you and you’ve known since then.

Now he entrusts himself completely into your hands. He’s adorable.

Loves cuddling more than he thought he would. Literally lays right on top of you with his tall ass.

Plays with your hair and loves it when you play with his. Thinks it’s calming.

Believe it or not, he strictly doesn’t let you be any part of the gang life he loves so much. It’s fun to him, but would never risk the chance of you getting hurt.

Doesn’t even introduce you to Kisaki. Which means a lot, I mean he’s practically his lap dog lmao.

a/n; thank you for reading<3.

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jewwyfeesh · 8 months

Text

Vampire Siblings

Writer: 日日日 (Akira)

Character(s): Isara Mao, Sakuma Rei, Sakuma Ritsu, Anzu

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

Disclaimer: I translated this story from the CN version of the game, which means that it has been double translated (JP > CN > EN).

Rei: Oooh!! Ritsu!! GOOD~ MORNING~ ☆

Season: Autumn Location: Track and Field

Mao: Mmm~ The feeling of fulfillment after a good prac! It’s really amazing~ ☆

Oh, thankies. Is this isotonic drink for me, Anzu? You’re becoming more and more ‘Producer’-like with every passing day~

Seems like you’ve been running after lots of other units besides us Trickstar lately.

There there, you’ve worked really hard ♪

But yeah… even though I’m one to talk, I still think you should take care of your body and your schedule. I’d feel really guilty if you pushed yourself too hard and something happened to you.

Never mind. Let’s go home, Anzu. Today’s my turn to ‘send you home’, so I’ll make sure that you get home safe and sound.

Though… lately, it seems like I’m always the one sending you home…? To the point where I’ve even gotten to know your family fairly well.

Sometimes I’d even stay for dinner…

But I’m not complaining. My family’s the kind to do whatever they want. As such, we don’t really spend a lot of time together. So… It’s nice being with your family.

I wonder if it’s because I can do things like household chores all by myself?

Everyone tends to think, “Oh it’s fine if we leave Isara Mao alone, nothing will happen to him”, but my younger sister has always been coddled and spoiled by our parents…

Hmph, would it be better if I tried to act a little more spoiled? But the second I come back to my senses, I’m back to taking care of others again. I feel old.

You’re also someone like this, so please be careful. You can also lean on me sometimes, you know~?

Eh… I’m meddling in other people’s business again…

It’s about to become a bad habit of mine, forget it, forget it… It’s pretty good to be relied on by others, but I’ve been ‘like this’ since I was young.

It’s because of Ritchan, my childhood friend~ If I leave him to his devices, that guy literally won’t lift a finger to do anything. When it got to a point where I couldn’t stand it anymore, I could only go and help… I’d help and help and help till I became ‘a meddler and a half’ ♪

You know Ritchan, right? Knights’…

Ahh, so you’ve also taken care of him before. He’s always so lazy, you literally can’t ignore him~

…Eh? You’re saying Ritchan’s over there?

Ah, call for the cat and he shall appear… where is he~?

Ah! Goodness! This guy, sleeping outside without a single shred of protection!

One day you’re gonna get pickpocketed, what are you gonna do then…? I reckon he fell asleep after lunch, and slept ‘all the way’ till now~

HEEEEY— Ritchan!! Don’t go sleeping in places like these, you’ll catch a cold ya know~?

Ritsu: ……Mmhhghhh? Huh… Maa~kun…? Wh… don’t wake me up…

Mao: Of course I need to wake you up. The school gates are gonna close soon, and if we don’t get moving we’ll be locked in. Our school has always been particularly ‘strict’ about these kinds of things.

Ritsu: Eh~ …Well, whatever. I could just continue sleeping here and save myself the trouble of having to come to school tomorrow. The more I think about it, the better of an idea it seems~

I’m really sleepy, so just leave me be. No matter how much I sleep, it’s never enough…

Mao: You… you haven’t changed one bit…

Hm? Eh? What are you hugging? It’s not a bolster… right? A tree stump? No, that seems to be a person…?

Ritsu: What?

Rei: Huu… snzz… ♪

Kekeke… Little baby~ Be good~ ♪ Go sleep~ ♪ Uuuu ♪

Mao: Ahh~ Taking a closer look… isn’t this Ritchan’s older brother? Why are the both of you snoozing together? Seems like you have a really good relationship~

When I got to know Ritchan, this person was always overseas, so I didn’t get to know him very well.

To be exact… I only found out he existed after I enrolled in Yumenosaki Academy. Ritchan doesn’t talk about his brother very often, so I got a little worried…

Who knew that the both of them were actually so close ♪

Ritsu: …Maa~kun, do you have anything sharp? I think staking him in the heart would definitely kill him.

Mao: N-no, you can’t just go around killing people. Eh? Do both of you have bad blood? In that case, why are you sleeping next to each other?

Ritsu: I don’t know what this thing was thinking, nor do I have any interest in finding out…

More than anything, I want to bury this thing six feet below and wipe my hands of it ‘as though nothing happened’. Now. Immediately. The faster the better.

Rei: E-eh? What happened, is it already time to say “good morning”? Ah? Where am I?

Ritsu: Yo. Why are you sleeping next to me, huh? You reek of mould, so stay further away from me. What happened, how are you still alive?

Rei: Mmmhh… My mind’s all fuzzy just after waking up… don’t ask so many questions at one go…

What’s there to rush, hm…? Re-rest a little… yawwwwn… ♪

Ritsu: No. No sleeping. I’ll kill you.

Rei: This tone… one that shows no mercy, even to one’s own blood brother…

Oooh!! Ritsu!! GOOD~ MORNING~ ☆

Ritsu: Don’t hug me! You’re so annoying!

Okay but spit it out. Why were you sleeping by my side? Depending on your answer, you could be demoted from “someone who seemed to have been a brother previously” to “stupid bug”.

Rei: Even if you don’t demote me, it’s a bit much, don’t you think?

Nothing much… It’s just that when I was leaving for home, I happened to see Ritsu sleeping. I was worried that you’d catch a cold, so I used my body warmth to warm you up. This is a big brother’s love ♪

Ritsu: Is that so? I understand, you don’t need to say anymore. Complete waste of Earth’s oxygen.

Maa~kun, could you help me get some cement from the warehouse? I want to solidify this thing in there and let it sink to the bottom of the ocean.

Rei: We’ve just woken up, and yet Ritsu’s already trying to get rid of me!?

Mm~ Anywho! The elderly aren’t quite suited for outdoor camping… My whole body’s sore and stiff…

Ritsu~ could you help massage my shoulders please ♪

Ritsu: Didn’t I tell you to shut up? You stupid bug.

Mao: Okay okay… as brothers, you guys should try to get along well. Though, let’s leave the fighting and the shoulder massage aside, yeah? We’re really about to be locked in school.

Rei: Oooh, you’re from Trickstar… It’s already this late… Thank you for waking me up. Ritsu~ it’s been a long time since we brothers walked home together hm~?

Ritsu: Brother? I don’t have a brother, though?

Rei: Don’t deny your brother’s existence with such a deadpan expression… That’s a bit much, even for a younger brother, don’t you think? I’ll start crying…

Ahh, I can’t… My tear ducts are getting weaker as I age… Uuuuuu~

Mao: Ahaha, I think I kinda understand your relationship, Sakuma-senpai.

Ritchan, the more you talk, the more others are gonna think “oh he’s just in his rebellious phase”, so maybe it’s better to not talk altogether?

Ritsu: Damn it… That isn’t the case at all. I had only wanted to throw this annoying ass thing into the trash bin. Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Maa~kun, you want to send them… send the Transfer Student home, right? Hurry up and go, don’t worry about us.

Rei: Mhm, please be careful on your way back. Who knows what kind of demons will be roaming at this hour – for example, vampires… and the like… ♪

Mao: Yep. I’ll be careful. The both of you too; no more fighting, okay? Hurry up and go home~

Rei:

Mm, I’ve always been praying that I’ll have a close relationship with Ritsu! We’re brothers after all ♪

…Ah, Ritsu? Where did you go? Hey— Ritsuuuu~

Ah, he dashed off at the speed of light. He really does hate me, huh? Hehehe ♪

Wait a minute, I am also more active at night! Well, when it comes to hide and seek, I’m not about to lose to a ‘novice’ ♪

Aaah… Running around like this under the night sky, it really reminds me of our childhood ♪

Ritsu: D-don’t chase after me!! Didn’t I already say you’re annoying!? Did it completely fly over your head, you infuriating Anija!?

Rei: Excellent, excellent… he’s finally willing to acknowledge me as his brother. Anyways, we take the same path back home, my super duper adorable little brother…

Translator's notes: [1] The original CN term here is 「菜鸡」, slang for "complete, total noob". I translated it to novice, a synonym. Personally don't think Rei would call Ritsu a "noob".

#enstars translation #! era sub/idol story #sakuma rei #sakuma ritsu #isara mao

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namusthetic · 1 year

Text

The Four Seasons

Color guide for the characters' comments:

Winter; Spring; Summer; Autumn;

_______

Winter

Jittery because had way too much sugar

Started buying presents and wrapping them in September

Has a special mug for every occasion

Likes to relax by the fire while reading or scrolling through their phone

Gives Christmas-themed socks to everyone

Sits in weird positions

Loud and affectionate with people they feel close with (even too affectionate... )

Cold and unforgiving when pissed

Has a reading list and is gonna finish it before the year ends (hopefully)

Struggles with anger management

Smiles at strangers on the street

Starts stuttering and their lisp comes out when too nervous or excited (I heard Autumn saying it was cute - oh really? - S-spring!!!!!!)

Loves surprises

Prideful, gets offended easily, but also forgives and forgets easily (it took us a whole afternoon to get them to open the door just because the three of us hung out without them - still don't know why we bothered. - HEY!!! )

Calls instead of texting

Ready to throw hands if any of their friends gets bullied or insulted

Aesthetics:

Hot chocolate and a crackling fireplace, Christmas songs and mulled wine, snow and cold wind, warm scarves and knitted gloves, snow angles and snowball fights, smirks and fistbumps, warm sweaters and tight hugs, doodles on frosty window panes, dad jokes and uncoordinated dance moves

Playlist:

Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra

Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

Tongue Tied by Grouplove

(I Can Get No) Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones

This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory

Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery

Eleanor Rigby by Cody Fry

Somebody To Love by Queen

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas by Michael Bublé

Snowman by Sia

Winter Wonderland by Michael Bublé

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

_______

Spring

Has various nervous tics because of anxiety

Always sitting on the floor

Often with their head in the clouds (AM NOT! - darling, I've literally seen you walk into door frames more times than I can count - ... )

Almost never raises their voice

Starts reading a book, then forgets about it and starts another one

Gets lost in daydreaming and dissociates from reality

Defends strongly what they believe in

"If I were a frog you'd be welcome on my lily pad"

Starts projects but never finishes them

Sensitive, cries easily when animals and environment is involved

In touch with their emotions and nature (and also with summer apparently - if you don't shut up, I swear. - Autumn, help me!! - oh, hell nah)

Spends long afternoons having pic-nics in the park, reading, sleeping and sunbathing

Walks in the woods looking for fae traps and playing hide and seek with foxes

Aesthetics:

Flower crowns, pic-nics and apricot jam, sunshine filtering through the leaves, birds chirping and bubbly laughter, bumblebees and bees flying from flower to flower, soft singing, flower crowns and daisy chains, curious eyes and pastel colors, small frogs and lilly pads, strawberry toasts and herbal teas, sweet smiles and paint-stained hands

Playlist:

Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish

Cool Kids by Echosmith

Ophelia by The Lumineers

Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's

Swing Lynn by Harmless

My Kind of Woman by Mac DeMarco

girls by girl in red

Coffee by beabadoobee

Juliet by Cavetown

rises the moon by Liana Flores

Where'd All the Time Go? By Dr. Dog

cardigan by Taylor Swift

No Plan by Hozier

_______

Summer

Sleeps with the windows open

Goes to the beach at sunrise to walk along the shore

Parties until late at night and comes home in the early morning

Afraid of never being good enough

Plans their day to the second, has a set goal in life

Chatty, makes friends easily but sometimes tries too hard

Just plain gorgeous (agreed!! - *blushes*)

Constantly doing something so they doesn't have any time to wallow in their thoughts

Sees the best in people (even Autumn? - Would you knock it off!?!!)

Doesn't need anyone's approval but cares about their found family's opinion

Has always something urgent to do

Done with everyone's whining (e- even me? - no, not you - pffft, simp. - *proceeds to throw a shoe at Winter* - You asked for it.)

Always tries to be strong by repressing their emotions (yeah, you shouldn't do that - sigh, I'll try not to)

Aesthetics:

Sunshine and linen sheets, freckles and dimples, gold and sand, warm laughter and cold cocktails, strawberry lemonade, pizza and a can of soda, tan lines and stretch marks, afternoon naps on the porch and late night rides, roller skating with their headphones on the promenade, thrift-shopping, a light breeze in the summer heat

Playlist:

Juicy by Doja Cat

Chicken Noodle Soup by J-Hope (ft. Becky G)

Cool for the Summer by Demi Lovato

WANNABE by ITZY

Need to Know by Doja Cat

I'm Legit by Nicki Minaj ft. Ciara

About Damn Time by Lizzo

Levitating (ft. DaBaby) by Dua Lipa

Egoistic by Mamamoo

Next Level by aespa

Truth Hurts by Lizzo

Gashina by SUNMI

Dirty Harry by Gorillaz

_______

Autumn

Lovely and deep, like the woods they like to wander

Started planning their Halloween costume since summer

Chooses their afternoon tea depending on their mood

Likes to sit by the window and read when starts raining

Often misunderstood

Looks dark and broody but is just a cinnamon roll (a cute, little, squishy cinnamon roll!!! - sometimes I struggle to repress the urge to push you off a cliff - nah, you know you love me - who's gonna tell them? - Not me.)

Starts reading several books at the same time and switches between them

Spends long afternoons reading in coffee shops

Struggles with depression and anxiety

Cannot function without coffee in the morning

Gets startled easily if they are focused on something else

Judges everyone silently, that's just what they do (Except Spring, she can do whatever she wants. - is it the cuteness? - It is.)

Waits for the call to end and then texts "What do you want?!?"

Aesthetics:

Eye-rolls, tired eyes, old books and fallen leaves as bookmarks, sentences underlined with shaky lines, large cardigans and knitted sweaters, dark coffee with splashes of milk, Earl Grey tea and butter biscuits, soft sighs and sweater paws, leather messenger bags and worn-out notebooks, the pitter-patter of rain on the sidewalk, fog and drizzle, the distant rumble of an incoming storm

Playlist:

The Less I Know the Better by Tame Impala

Tired by beabadoobee

Devil Town by Cavetown

Coffee by Jack Stauber's Micropop

Blondie by Current Joys

Alien Blues by Vundabar

Little Dark Age by MGMT

Hey Kids by Molina ft. Late Verlane

Take a Slice by Glass Animals

Vide Noir by Lord Huron

Mary On a Cross by Ghost

The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

Zombie by The Cranberries

----------------------🍏

Helloo!!! ✨

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted anything (again, sob) but I'm back!

I chose seasons this time, and I've also added comments from each one, I thought it would be a cute thing to add, I had fun doing it.

For the character's comments I used different colors to recognize them, I hope it's not too chaotic.

Hope you enjoy, and please take care of yourselves,

lots of love 💜

#moodboard #aestethic #character aesthetics #tag your aesthetic #character concept #tag yourself #playlist #song suggestions #types of people #seasons #autumn #summer #winter #spring

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arminismyhusbandddd · 8 months

Note

Hey can you do a small story about armin confessing his feelings to eren little sister which is the reader and the timeline is like what they look like in Attack on titan junior high? He looks cute on that series 🥹

AU AOT Junior High

Armin×Fem Reader(Eren's little sister)

Thanks so much for request, I appreciate it sm, love you, thanks thanks thanks:)

Honestly, I've never watched Junior High, but I'm planning to!!!

I hope, I make it at least not tooooo worse and you're not disappointed,I'm sorry If you do:((((I tried to make school first love atmosphere but I'm not sure that I get your idea right or maybe I just don't have enough skills,in any way I'm so so so sorry!

EMA- the way everyone call as, my close friends, that I know since childhood, we always together, especially my only friends- Eren and Mikasa..

Everything is usual..

boring biology class but I'm still listening to the teacher,I need to do everything good and always be ready for exams, but my friends don't think so and just on my desk lands small crumpled piece of paper..

Slowly.. very carefully open it to not make any noise and looks at the Eren's handwriting

"Do you want to go to my place after lessons?"

I looked at him, gave quick node and then continued to listen to the teacher..

Late fall..

we are walking towards his house just to spend time together and have some fun..play games and other..

red, orange and yellow leaf are falling on the ground making beautiful, stunning carpet that is covering everything and makes this day more beautiful than it is..

The crunchy sounds that it's making was pretty satisfying and I almost forgot about conversation between us

-Armin.. armin..do you hear me?- I heard Mikasa's voice as she slightly shaked my shoulder when we are walking-Um.. yeah.. yeah,I do..I- i was interrupted by Eren that opened the door into his apartment - Come in- he said as was holding the door open to let us come..

The time passed fast,we was playing video games, talking laughing as we heard that the main door is opening and someone comes in.

-Sis?- Eren asked, obviously talking to the person that just came,me and Mikasa looked at each other and our faces just literally saying "wait,he has sister?!"

- Yeah? - sweet girl's voice was coming from hall as she talked- Is mom at home?- she asked as her light footsteps was coming from the door towards the living room where we are sitting.

-No, actually I brought friends here,mom will come closer to evening- he said as girl's posture appears near the entrance to the living room-I hope you,guys, won't be too loud I need to concentrate- she said as her deep green eyes was moving on our faces, exploring our postures

-We won't - he said turning towards us as girl walked away towards her room ,probably .she was just a copy of Eren..I was a little nervous as I got very strange feeling in the stomach..-Eren, is she your..- I got interrupted again..as alway..by Eren- Yeah,my sister, haven't I said you both about her? I could introduce her,but she is too shy- he said as Mikasa shrugs and looks at me

- We should probably walk home, homework is homework - her as usual cold face expression as she looked at me still making me a little nervous..

-Yeah,we should..

Cold autumn wind was blowing on my face as my cheeks get a little rosy..

leaf are falling much more because of harsh wind that makes them to touch ground and make soft blanket for the ground for the next few months till the spring..

The way to home is little but feels like endless, especially when I'm thinking about his sister..

I don't even know her name..

I don't know anything but that Eren is her brother,she looks a little younger that I am, maybe for one or two years,she is probably very loyal towards her lesson if she asked us to buy quite..she loves to study?

So many questions appear as I walk home,her green eyes that won't leave my mind for whole evening for sure..as I study..as I take a shower..as I'm about to sleep..

The next weeks the same as usual

The same lesson...the same note..but not the same purpose to go to the Eren's place..now I don't want to communicate, don't want to play or watch movie..I want to see her again and again..despite how crazy it sounds

We become more close, now we even greet when see each other in school hall..now we speak and sometimes she spend time with us.. watches movie with us.. holding my hand when I get scared out of ghost in the movie, when Eren laughs at my reaction and Mikasa's eyes are glued towards the screen..

Everything like in cycle,but I need to break it?See her again..in the hall.. but instead of usual quick node come closer to her and tried to speak,at least sound a little confident

-Hey,how your lesson are going?- I tried to start conversations with something like and ordinary - Good and your?- she said quickly as her eyes looked at mineI became nervous.. only because her gaze..how I hate being that worthless..

-So..do..do you.. want..mm..- I don't know is that genetics or simply their uncanny resemblance to Eren but she has that same habit to interrupt me as soon as I start to stutter but - Walk a little after school? I don't mind - she said quickly as added - 3pm?

Everything that I can do is just to nod as she walks away because the bell is ringing..

3pm..

I'm standing near the main entrance and waiting for this green eyes as suddenly feel light tap on my shoulder I turns and sees her

..this strange feeling like in the first time..

my face instantly turns red..I didn't see that but I feel how hot is it..

She grabbed my hand and started lead me towards the park..

It was early winter but not snow yet..we was walking in the park looking at the trees that was bare and no leaf on it..

I was so distracted by nature that didn't even notice that all that time we was silent

-So..how is your day? - her cute voice brought me back to reality, taking me from the world of sweet thoughts and fantasies that too often absorbed me- Pretty good, what a pity that it's no snow yet

She gave me one disappointed nod like agreement for what I said as we continued walking.. our hands was locked..

I just understand that..and that red face again. Everything that I could ask is she not to notice that

-By the way.. what is with your face,it's pretty red, is that because of wind? - she asked while looking on the rotting leafs on the ground- Ummh yes..yes,wind!- I said trying to stay calm and confident

-Are you sure? Besides, maybe I'm wrong but I think that you like me- she said on one breath as I stopped walking and looked at her face in pure shock trying to process what she said

- I..I..- I tried to make complete sentence but she added - I just think so..I'm not saying that it's pure true, just want to know, honestly maybe I do..

My face just get second wave of blood and looks more than just bright pink..it's completely red- You..you do?- I asked as noticed her small but visible blush on cheeks..

-and you?- she asked as her gaze slowly moved towards her lap

These feelings..as if my heart is beating like crazy, but at the same time it seems to have stop completely..there is not enough oxygen, but I am breathing faster than usual

I seem to have gained the courage for all the years of existence as a shy nerd

I lean closer and kiss her..

of course it was terrible..and the most incompetent, she slowly put her hand on my shoulder and answered the kiss..

when light fluffy snow slowly covered the park..

creating a white canvas everywhere..

ITS IMPORTANT !

Unfortunately, on August 19, Russia committed another war crime against the civilian population of Ukraine, sending a missile to the Theater in the city of Chernihiv. 7 dead, 129 injured, including 15 children and 15 police officers. Unfortunately, Russia's crimes do not end there, they continue to kill civilians and children as they have been doing since 2014, starting a war and occupying Luhansk and Donetsk, spreading propaganda and portraying Ukraine as an aggressor.

Thanks for reading!:3 I hope you enjoyed it!I'll be glad If you give me some ideas for next stories I'll always be very interested in your ideas and your opinion about my works ,so don't hesitate to write your opinion about this work, I will be very grateful for your kind activity under the posts^^

#aot headcanons #armin #armin arlert x reader #armin arlet x reader #armin x reader #armin headcanons #attack on titan #armin aot #aot x reader #armin arlert #armin x y/n #armin x you #aot

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bouffees · 1 year

Text

Unexplained constant shortness of breath, chest tightness and pain for almost 2 years

Hello everyone,

I’m a man, 29 years old. 170 cm, 55 kg. I have a chronic kidney disease (glomerulonephritis, stage 3). I control my blood pressure with Perindopril. Have never been overweight, but I’m not fit at all either.

In March 2021 I had a terrible headache, chest pain, higher blood pressure than usual and difficulty focusing my eyesight (I couldn’t read). This episode lasted for a couple days, and ever since it went away, I had these symptoms:

Constant chest tightness and chest discomfort, primarily on the left side. It feels like something is squeezing my chest.

Constant shortness of breath and inability to take a satisfying breath. Feeling that something in the chest doesn’t open up and air doesn’t reach where it is supposed to go. Breathing feels shallow. I cannot even breathe in enough air to talk and get out of breath all the time when speaking.

Very frequent, almost constant, chest pain. The pain is usually right under my left breast, where I can feel the heartbeat. It feels like intense squeezing or pressure. I wake up with this pain in the morning quite often and have it for days. I can’t seem to pinpoint what triggers it.

Palpitations, not very frequent

Strong heartbeat, feeling of pulsation in the body

Dizziness, brain fog, tiredness

I experience chest tightness and difficulty breathing literally all the time, they never subside. I tried daily jogging during the summer and the autumn, and the pain doesn’t necessarily come during or right after training (although that can happen too). I don’t know if there is a direct connection between the pain and physical exertion.

At this point I have done these tests, some of them multiple times:

Blood and urine test: don’t show anything except for my kidney disease

Spirometry: shows reduction in lungs volume. Asthma medicines give no improvements.

Chest X-rays: everything is ok

Electrocardiography: everything is ok

Echocardiogram: everything is ok

Heart CT scan: showed a slight incipient atherosclerosis in left anterior descending artery, but my doctor says it shouldn’t give symptoms like these.

Gastroscopy: esophagus is fine.

Threadmill: according to the doctor, the test shows that everything is ok, but I get tired and out of breath during running very quickly.

I have used three different asthma inhalers for half a year without any effect. I get heartburn quite often, and medicines against that help, but they don’t improve shortness of breath or chest pain at all. After CT scan detected slight atherosclerosis, I started taking Atorvastatin.

I don’t hyperventilate. I breathe at a normal rate, but the feeling of air hunger is always there. Sometimes I intentionally take a deeper breath. It can be successful and air hunger subsides for a moment, or it feels like my chest doesn’t increase in volume after specific point and I don’t get a satisfying breath. Oximeter shows normal oxygen saturation of the blood (even during jogging).

Some doctors I’ve encountered suggest that this is psychological issue, but I don’t think so because a) I’ve never experienced any panic attacks or similar before, b) it doesn’t explain the starting episode and c) it doesn’t feel connected to my psychological state.

I am vaccinated against corona.

All in all, doctors claim my heart is ok, but I am not sure about it. Asthma inhalers don’t help. Majority of the symptoms are there 24/7, without changing much for better or worse during more than a year. I have been to ER a bunch of times, and my doctors have no idea what this could be.

Is anyone here been in a similar situation? What can I do? This feels like this is a heart issue, but I don’t know. Shouldn’t CT rule it out? Can it happen that CT doesn’t pick up any conditions, bur MRI does it? Should I insist on getting MRI? Are there other tests I should do?

submitted by /u/Quick-Village-2222 [link] [comments] from For issues related to heart disease, cardiac health and cholesterol control https://ift.tt/m4hHkIC

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talesofstyles · 3 years

Text

Drs Styles

paediatric heart surgeon harry, husband harry and dad harry. honestly the holy trinity.

warning: they did it in the car. bloody animals.

Harry

“Move your car, please!”

“What are you going to do? Write me a ticket?”

“This is in the interests of safety for the children!”

I look at the time in the car. I’ve still got about twenty to twenty-five minutes to watch this drama unfold at the school gate. I just wish we had popcorn because drop-off and parking situations at the school gates are always more entertaining than Good Morning Britain.

The school gate is a strange social scene, and honestly, I don’t blame my wife for trying to avoid it like a plague. Sometimes, you don’t even have to talk to these people to know everything about their lives and more. I swear there are more gossips in the class WhatsApp group and daily playground chattering than in the copies of The Sun and Daily Mail combined. You know who’s married, who’s getting a divorce, whose husband shagged the au pair again, whose party you haven’t been invited to, even who’s looking for a builder.

I see the school caretaker chuckling to himself as he sweeps the autumn leaves off the pathway, no doubt also enjoying our morning entertainment.

“Why is Mrs Chambers screaming like that?” Alma, our eldest daughter, asks from the back of the car.

“Because that man parks his car in a drop-off zone,” I reply, still watching him as he removes a child from his car seat. “Do you know who that is?”

“I think the boy is your classmate,” Alma turns to her sister.

Fiona, our youngest, peers over to inspect. “Oh yeah, that’s Rufus and his dad.”

“Do we like Rufus?”

“Not unless we like boys who pee down the slides,” Fiona scrunches her nose up. “He stood at the top and peed down like a waterfall. I haven’t gone down the slide ever since.”

I shake my head and let out a chuckle. “M’sure they’ve cleaned it up since, button.”

Did you know that choosing a school for your child after nursery can be a head-throbbing, stomach-twisting, heart-pounding experience? Well, it can. How is one supposed to choose a school anyway? According to the proximity? Leavers Results? Adorable uniforms? Parents’ agendas?

After many, many discussions and visits through more schools than I can count, we ended up with Thomas’s Kensington. It’s a great school, and only ten minutes away from our home, making school runs easier. The downside of this school is the fact that it costs us an arm and a leg and that they’re always trying to rip us off any chance they get. Also, they only take the kids until 11, so after that, we’ll have to look for other schools again. But since our girls are only seven and five, we can worry about that later.

There’s a strange mix of parents at this place. I went to school up in the North and the school gate scene is nothing like this. Here there are more au pairs, fancy cars, nicer clothes and people coming with impressive tans from their last weekend break in Antibes. The kids here are suited up too: the PE kit is the size of a small weekender bag, and we put them in uniforms that make them look smart, hoping that will increase the size of their brains. A child walks past our car with a cello case, another with a hockey stick. It’s a different land here. One that my socialist in-laws constantly tease us about and one which my mum was hysterical about because she was scared her grandbabies would be little Tories. I promised her I’d keep them grounded by only giving them plain hobnobs. None of those luxury chocolate covered ones.

Jokes aside, my girls are happy here. They’re thriving. They learn French and Spanish and Mandarin, even if they share a class with kids who have ridiculous names like Kitty and Archibald.

A knock at my window calls me to attention. I wind it down.

“Are you Fiona’s dad?” A mum asks me.

“I am.”

“It’s about Ophelia’s riding party this Saturday at the riding stables.”

Like I said, it’s a different land here.

“I thought we RSVPed to that?” I look at her in confusion.

“Yes, you did, but we have to change the food options as one of the partygoers is allergic to nuts. I’m making everyone aware and we need to let the guests know that they can’t bring any nuts on the day.”

A dirty joke is right there on the tip of my tongue and I’m trying my hardest to keep it in. My wife would definitely find it funny though, I’ve got to remember this and tell her later.

“Noted,” I mean, I wasn’t going to send my daughter to a party with a packet of cashews anyway but I nod politely.

“And just gift vouchers for gifts please. Smiggle, if you can.”

Again, I nod, biting my tongue at the presumptuousness. But then I suddenly panic, because we haven’t entered the realms of pony riding just yet. Do I have to buy jods and boots? If I don’t, will my daughter be the odd one out? But Ophelia’s mum saunters off before I’ve got the chance to ask.

“Do I have to go to that party, daddy?” Fiona asks.

“Well, we’ve already replied, poppet,” I tell her. “Did you not want to go?”

“I’ll go if I have to.”

I don’t answer because I get distracted by a vacant space. I edge the car forward so my girls can hop off.

“I love you both. Have a good day, make good choices.”

“Bye daddy! We’ll see you after work!”

***

Evelina London Children’s Hospital is our second home. Of course, as a children’s hospital, we try to make the place as fun as possible as not to freak those little patients out at being ill. It is bright and primary coloured, and each ward is decorated according to its own theme with different colours and lovely artworks. There are televisions and toys almost in every corner. We have a giant slide on the ground floor, and even the bins are shaped like red London buses. The aim was to help the children to forget that they’re in a hospital and take their minds off their sickness.

Since my wife and I are in the same department, our offices are next to each other, both overlooking the Thames. It’s nice up here. Would’ve been nicer if we could sneak in a quickie, but that’s practically impossible with our shared secretary’s desk sitting literally in front of our doors.

Speak of the devil.

“Good morning. Here’s your tea,” my secretary follows me into my office with a cup of tea and a tiny plate with a couple of rich tea fingers. “Clinic until 3 pm, scheduled PDA ligation in the laboratory for 4 pm and then evening rounds on the wards.”

“Mornin’ Rhonda, you look lovely today,” I greet her cheerily. She’s a stern-looking woman who definitely likes her tea as strong as tits and who has probably never cried in her life. With such severity, she runs a tight ship, but she secretly has this affectionate side in her too. Not only is she a great secretary, but she also takes care of us in a way as a grandma does. She makes us tea, feeds us in between surgeries with biscuits or nice baby cheeses and crackers just so we wouldn’t starve.

See that sofa over there in the corner of my office? Rhonda got me that. It was around the time when I had just become a new father with the sweetest, most gorgeous little baby who did not sleep. Alma wasn’t a fussy baby though. For some reason, she just wouldn’t go back to sleep after her midnight feed for months. Believe me, I tried everything. I changed her nappy, I swayed and jiggled and rocked and sung her to sleep. Odd nonsensical songs like, ‘Alma darling go to sleeep. Sleepy sleep sleep. Pleeeeease. I’m so tirrrred. My eyeballs may actually exploooode. I don’t want you to see thaaat.’ And she would just look at me all wide-eyed like I’d lost the plot. Those were song lyrics? That was rubbish. Please don’t give up your day job. Also, it’s not sleeping time. I’m awake. I’m ready for life. Come on, entertain me, old man. Isn’t this nice, just you and me? Tell me everything you know. EVERYTHING.

Except of course she didn’t say all that. She would just stare at me and I had no idea what was going on in her little head.

I took over my wife’s patients at the hospital during her maternity leave, so I had longer hours at the hospital. One day Rhonda found me napping on the floor between surgeries, so she sweet-talked some porters into looking for any old sofas on the go and paid to have this one reupholstered. She even bought me a fleece throw for it too. We really don’t deserve her.

“You hittin’ on me?” She deadpans. “Yer wife not doing it for you these days?”

“It’s the blazer. I’m a sucker for a blazer.”

“If I’d known, I would’ve worn it more often,” she replies. “Did my nice dress yesterday not give you the fanny flutters?”

“It’s schlong shiver for me,” I roar with laughter. “And it’s the tartan, makes you look well old.”

“YN, yer husband’s a bloody git, did I ever tell you that?” Rhonda says loud enough for my wife to hear, and I can hear my wife’s laughter from her office next door. “Drink your tea. Your first clinic appointment is in twenty.”

“Yes ma’am,” I salute her.

***

The Arctic ward in the Evelina is home to many of our imaging, heart and kidney services. The name is probably giving it away, but everything is decorated in blue and white to go with the theme. We have several zones, and since paediatric cardiology clinics are held in the Walrus zone, I spend a great deal of time each day looking at walrus and snowflake decals.

“Doctor Styles!” I hear a little voice shouts in excitement as I walk towards the waiting room in the outpatient ward. I smile, because I recognise that voice even before I see the little person.

The waiting room is very open here compared to other hospitals. There’s a sea of noise, snacks, tiny juice boxes and colouring pages. There’s also always a look of expectation, judgement on the faces of parents and guardians every time I walk in. They want to see if their doctor is old or qualified enough to see their children. There’s always one child who has the whole gang with them; parents, two sets of grandparents and even several aunts and uncles, and there’s also at least one child running around in circles out of boredom.

This little lad bounces off his chair and hurls himself at me in a way like a little puppy would when its owner comes home from work. I put an arm out, hoping that he’ll apply the brakes but no such luck and he bundles himself into my arms. “Nice to see you, mate.”

His parents smile as they watch their son’s antics, who then runs off as I shake their hands. I turn around to see what caught his attention, and I can’t help but chuckle when I realise it’s my wife.

“Doctor pretty Styles!” He exclaims excitedly as he bundles himself into her arms. She gets a mouthful of curls in the process.

“Hi Rory,” she greets him as she runs her fingers through his curly mop.

“Oi,” I pout as I walk towards them. “You don’t think I’m pretty?”

“Your wife is prettier,” he says with a shrug, his tone matter-of-fact.

She laughs and gives him a high-five. “Rory, you are officially my favourite patient.”

She is right. Rory is one of our special patients for sure. We’ve both known him for about six years now, ever since Rory’s mum gave birth to this tiny human next door at St Thomas and his heart was literally broken. I remember watching proudly from the theatre when my wife replaced two of his valves when he was born. It was in our early years of training. Long time patients like Rory almost always feel like family. We’ve seen all their parents’ tears and watched over their children throughout the years. They send us cards and wine every Christmas and despite all attempts to keep a professional distance, their kids do feel like our own.

Rory shrugs off his dinosaur rucksack and unzips it, pulling out a drawing of a blue whale and an opened packet of KitKat. I like that the whale wears a top hat and appears to also don a moustache.

“I drew you both a picture. Only one though, because I figure you can share,” he says with a big toothy grin and hands the packet of KitKat to my wife. “And I’ve got half a KitKat here. Do you want it?”

“I’m good for now. Keep that KitKat for later on the tube,” she smiles and waves at Rory as she begins to walk away towards the fetal cardiology ward just down the hall. “Bye Rory, thanks for the picture.”

“Bye doctor pretty Styles,” Rory replies, making my wife laugh as she walks away. I give her a wave and a wink.

“Hey Rory, did you know a blue whale has a heart the size of a small car?” I ask him and his eyes widen.

“No way! That’s mega!” He exclaims. “Do you think you could operate on a whale heart?”

“I would need a very big ladder,” I tell him. “And a wetsuit. I’d give it a go though.”

A senior nurse from the outpatient ward, Florence approaches us with a junior nurse trailing behind her. “Dr Styles, always a pleasure.”

I smile at her. “Florence. How are we today?”

“Busy as usual,” she replies. “We’re about twenty minutes behind I’m afraid. We had Dr Goodridge in this morning and you know he likes to talk.”

“He always runs over,” I chuckle. “Well, don’t worry. I’ll skip lunch and get us back up to speed.”

“I’ll make sure to send some snacks for you. Here’s your chart, your files are already in your office. And this is Alice, your nurse today. She’s newly qualified so might need some instructions.”

The new nurse looks terrified so I smile at her to try and calm her fears. I totally get that. When you work in medicine, unfortunately, you’ll realise that there are a lot of rude self-important wankers.

I look down at my chart and find Rory’s name on the top of the list. “Well, look who’s coming with me to the exam room.”

Rory reaches out to hold my hand and we walk towards the examination room. His parents follow us closely, carrying the usual coats and devices that people do when they know they’re bound for a hospital waiting room. I see them inside and sit behind the desk.

“So, young man, I hear we’ve had a touch of drama with you. Can you tell me what happened?”

I’ve actually already got the information in the file, but I like the way this kid tells a story. He reminds me of my youngest.

“So… I was at school and we were doing PE and I wasn’t really feeling it because it was cold and really we should have been inside but Mr Witter makes us go outside because he used to be in the Army apparently and he says we should get used to the cold but that’s what they do in prisons.”

I smile. “Go on.”

“And then my heart started running.”

“You mean racing?”

He nods firmly. Racing isn’t even the word. It sprinted to the finish like Bolt at 252 beats per minute, three times the speed it should.

“It felt like bubbles in my chest and then the school went crazy panicky and they called the ambulance and they brought me to the hospital but not this one, it was another one and it wasn’t as good because you weren’t there and they had really bad biscuit.”

His mum adds. “And they gave him some drugs to bring it back to a steady rhythm; they were close to shocking him.” Her voice trails off and both parents’ faces look drawn and pale remembering the incident.

Rory looks absolutely unbothered by this. To be fair, we have put this little man through everything. We’ve cut his chest open more times than is necessary for someone so small, we hook him up to machines and put him on treadmills. His resilience and character amaze me, and I really can’t imagine what it feels like to see your child so vulnerable and helpless, to be paralysed and weighed down with such worry.

“Alright then, little man, we need to make sure that your heart is working as it should. This is Alice, and she is going to take you over for an ECG and we just need to make sure your tick-tock is in good shape.”

Rory nods and jumps off the chair. His dad offers him a piggyback, and his mum smiles at them. I can hear Rory offering that half KitKat to Alice as they leave the room.

His mother turns to me as the door is closed, her shoulders relaxing, allowing herself to breathe. “And how are you?” I ask her.

“You just think it’s done and then something like that comes along to scare you,” she says with a sigh.

“Let’s have these tests and then see if it’s anything major to worry about,” I try to calm her. “Episodes of rapid heartbeat is quite common in Rory’s case, and we can look into drugs to remedy that if necessary.”

She smiles, nodding.

“Did you have any other questions for me?”

She studies my face for a moment too long. “I… well, it will show up in Rory’s records soon, but my husband I are… I mean we’re getting a divorce.”

I pause for a moment. Of course, I know these things happen in life, but I’ve known this couple for years. I’ve seen them at their lowest ebb, bound by friendship and their love for that boy. I really do feel sorry for them.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“We just… we’re terrified about telling Rory.”

“He doesn’t know?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “We’re scared of breaking him. I mean, look at him. All of this stuff he’s been through and he carries on like nothing has happened. We don’t want to upset him.”

“It took a team of us the best part of six years to build Rory’s heart. There's a warranty on that workmanship,” I reassure her. “Have that chat with him. He’ll be fine.”

***

“Have we got time for dinner first?” I turn to my wife as we walk out of the hospital. We don’t normally have the luxury of ending our shift at the same time, but today is exceptional. We have parents’ evening at the girls’ school so Rhonda made sure to clear up our schedule after our evening rounds at the ward.

“No, but we can raid M&S and eat in the car?”

I’m starving and I almost cry with relief at the suggestion. “Always knew I married the right woman.”

She chuckles. “Damn right you did.”

We leave the car at the hospital and she drags me along the walkways to Waterloo, the breeze biting at our cheeks. I pull her into M&S, dodging the marching commuters and grab a basket.

“I’ll look for some wine,” she says before she saunters off. “Oh and I want sushi. None of that crap with the mayonnaise please.”

“Alright.”

I skipped lunch today so the whole place calls to me. I start taking very random things off the shelves: a packet of raspberry iced buns. That’ll do. I also take some hummus for my wife because she bloody loves hummus. I’m not even joking, I’ve seen her down a whole pot of it. Then I take some sushi as requested, some coleslaw, a family bag of mature cheddar and red onion crisps and a trifle. I hope I don’t bump into Rhonda. Next are cheese twists, noodle salad and cocktail sausages.

It takes me a while to notice that there is a man right next to me with a roll of yellow stickers in their back pocket. Hello there, you are one of my favourite people tonight. Have I managed to find that sacred hour when all the food is being marked down? He labels some prawns with dip and even though I get a little squeamish about eating fish near its expiry date, I put it in my basket. I then follow him around the corner. Now, this is dinner. I put all sorts of random food in my basket and smile at the thought.

Ooh, knockdown pizzas. I should get a pizza. That’s tomorrow’s tea sorted, the girls will love it. Although I can’t help but wonder, what’s the limit for us to feed our daughters frozen pizza in a week before they get taken away from us? But eh, we might be able to get away with it if we give them frozen peas on the side.

“Look at you,” says my wife, depositing two bottles of red in the basket.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m the yellow sticker bitch.”

She snickers as we turn to head for the tills. “Excellent work.”

***

“Mr and Mrs Styles, welcome.”

“Mrs Ebner, always a pleasure,” I shake the headmistress’ hand who’s standing at the door.

“Busy evening?” My wife asks her as she shakes her hand next.

“Always,” the headmistress replies with a smile, then proceeds to speak like she’s reading out of brochures. “But such a wonderful opportunity to connect with our parents and build on the special relationships we have with our school community.”

Two uniformed minions appear.

“Lewis, Maggie, could you please show Mr and Mrs Styles through to the drinks reception?”

They both nod in unison. The boy holds his arms out like a waiter showing us to our table. We follow them through the school’s grand corridors to the main hall. It’s the one thing I like about this place. It’s very Hogwarts-like with hefty engraved name boards and sepia photos of successful sports teams. In the hall, a throng of parents mill around waiting to see respective teachers. It’s the same every year. We all dodge the people from the PTA trying to sell us quiz tickets, and the bowls of crisps out of hygiene concerns.

“Red or white?” Asks a lady in an apron.

This right here is the very reason we get through parents’ evening. From the look of the bottle, it’s decent wine too. I think that’s where a good proportion of our fees is going.

“Red, please.”

We both take our glasses and walk to the corner of the hall. It’s essentially a holding area without the background music. The idea is that all the parents will get on and create a party vibe but it just becomes a strange family gathering. As terrible as it sounds, it’s sorted into cliques: parents who know each other via NCT groups, the international expat brigades who keep to themselves, the parents who’ve ostracised themselves by gossip, the ones who you know regularly brunch and ski together.

The boy from earlier suddenly appears in front of us. “Mrs Hughes is ready for you.”

I put my hand on the small of my wife’s back as we walk towards the classroom. Fiona’s teacher first and then Alma’s straight after. Right, we can do this.

“Mrs Hughes, we meet again,” I shake her hand. I’ve got no qualms about Mrs Hughes. She’s a seasoned teacher who likes a slack and sensible moccasin and we’re familiar with her since she taught Alma two years previously. When we enter the classroom, Lewis bows in reverence, taking his leave and I wonder whether to tip him.

“It’s always lovely to have another Styles girl in my classroom. Fiona is a particular delight.”

My wife and I smile proudly. I’m sure Mrs Hughes says this to every parent here about their child, but that’s always nice to hear.

“She talks a lot about you,” my wife says. “She seems to have settled in well.”

Mrs Hughes opens up a couple of books and it’s classic Fiona. Alma is ordered and neat—if she makes a mistake then she erases it completely and she underlines things with a ruler and listens to instruction carefully. She gets that from her mum. Fiona though, on the other hand, she’s all me. She has more wild abandon about her; no rulers, no rubbers. She puts giant crosses through things that don’t work and likes her bubble writing decorated with doodles of many, many cats.

I glance around the classroom as Mrs Hughes talks to us about standardised scores. The theme of the school is to show you how smart and educated these children are. Look at the copperplate handwriting, their reproductions of Van Gogh and our languages corner where they’ve all had a go at telling us what they like in French. I spy a contribution from my girl. J’adore les chats et le gâteau au chocolat.

I’ve lost track of the conversation so I try to catch up.

“So to push Fiona into those top scores, perhaps we can look into tutoring? For maths, in particular, so she can grasp some of the concepts a little more tightly,” says Mrs Hughes.

My wife and I look at each other confused. “Uh, I don’t think there’s a need, right? She’s only five.”

“It’s never too early,” replies Mrs Hughes. “We run an after-school tutoring club on Tuesdays that would help.”

Back when I was a youngster, clubs were fun endeavours that involved matching baseballs caps or were a chocolate biscuit that you had in your lunchbox. Maths tutoring session was not a club.

I ask her. “Is it free?”

“It’s fifteen pounds per session.”

See? My point being this should be a parents’ evening, not a sales session.

“Well, then it’s something to think about,” says my wife. “It could be that Fiona catches up with people throughout the year.”

“Possibly,” Mrs Hughes nods. Still, though, she proceeds to go into her folder and passes me a form. Sneaky. “Fiona has also shown great interest in languages and art. Her pictures have been a joy.”

Mrs Hughes goes to a file and pulls one of Fiona’s drawings. I glance down at it. It’s a standard child piece of art. The grass and sky are strips of colour to the top and bottom. It’s a family portrait, and we are as tall as the broccoli style trees. Wait, hang on a second. I count the number of people in the picture again. Is that-

“And Mrs Styles, I gather congratulations are in order,” she says with a smile. “Such lovely news.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Fiona told me it’s a boy,” she adds, and the sheer terror on my wife’s face at the realisation is priceless. “You must be very thrilled.”

I study the picture. There’s a house in the middle, and standing in a line in front of the house is our family. The one slightly taller than the broccoli tree is me. I’ve got my white lab coat, and I look like a serial killer because I’m holding a scalpel with the size of a butcher’s knife. Next to me is my wife, also with a white lab coat, but instead of a scalpel, she’s holding a very chunky baby who rather looks like a basketball with a head.

“Oh dear,” I chuckle. “Guess now we know what she’ll ask for Christmas.”

“Yeah,” my wife shakes her head. “We’re not expecting.”

“Oh, I apologise,” Mrs Hughes says with a sheepish smile.

“No worries, Mrs Hughes,” I tell her. “So, what else has our girl been up to here? Besides gossiping of course.”

Mrs Hughes laughs under her breath. “Well, in class, Fiona is attentive, bright and very helpful. She is a credit to you both.”

***

“I swear your daughter, Styles.”

We’re sitting in the car now. Finally done with parents’ evening, still laughing at the slightly creepy, chunky basketball baby in Fiona’s picture and the fact that three people, including Mrs Hughes, have congratulated us for the ‘baby’.

“You haven’t called me Styles in years,“ I turn to her with a grin. “Not since medical school.”

I can’t help but flashback to the good ol’ days when we had matching university hoodies and we’d test each other on the parts of a kidney whilst walking into lectures, sitting next to each other, sharing pens and cans of Lilt.

“Well, after that I became a Styles too,” she chuckles. “Would be confusing then, wouldn’t it?”

“True,” I laugh under my breath, then I grab her hand and pull it to my mouth so I can kiss her knuckles. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being a Styles.”

“Aw, aren’t we soppy tonight?” She smirks. “Alright, stop the car.”

“What?”

“There,” she points to a dark empty spot and I oblige.

Then, before I can even ask her why, she reaches over and grabs me by the collar. Pulling me close to her and gives me a kiss. I kiss her back, and I smile when she bites gently on my bottom lip.

“Oi, oi. Something’s got you randy.”

The next thing I know, she undoes her seatbelt and then rolls her trousers down her legs along with her knickers, fumbling and giggling at the awkward movement. I push my seat back and pull my trousers down.

“Don’t fall on gearstick now,” I joke as she climbs over to straddle me. “Well, unless you want to, of course…”

She laughs as she lowers herself over my lap. I really can’t believe what’s happening here.

“Mrs Styles, we’re about to have sex in a car. Around the corner from our daughters’ school.”

“I know,” she says with a smile before she runs her tongue along my neck. “Not our first rodeo though.”

“Oh right, we did it in our Volvo years ago, didn’t we? Thought the suspension couldn’t take it.”

“And it turned out fine. Told you that you needed to have more faith in the Swedes, they’re a reliable breed.”

“I love it when you talk about Sweden.”

“Ikea.”

“Fuck.”

“Meatballs.”

“Billy Bookcase.”

She throws her head back in laughter and I take this as an opportunity to run my tongue along her collar bone. She gasps. I reach down to lift her before I slowly lower her over my cock. We both sigh as I enter her, a long exhalation with our lips barely touching.

“Viggo Mortensen.”

“Isn’t he Danish?”

“Tomato, Tomahto.”

I smile at my wife and push my hips up, silently telling her that we don’t need to talk about Swedish people anymore. She grabs onto the car seat and levers herself up and down. I look at her in the eye, a goofy smile still plastered across my face.

But then I squint. Light. Bollocks, what’s that? Where’s that light coming from? Crap, that’s bright. Shit. I see the flash of a hi-vis jacket, a knock at the window and someone shaking their head.

Oh sodding fucking bollocking shit wank.

#harry #harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles fics #harry styles ff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles au #dad!harry #husband!harry #doctor!harry #surgeon!harry

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midgardianweasley · 3 years

Text

The Royal Ball

Loki laufeyson x Fem!reader

Summary: There is an Asgard ball being hosted in the palace, Y/N is yet to find a date to accompany her. She’s disappointed when a certain God doesn’t ask her, however, what happens when he sees someone else getting a little too close for comfort throughout the night?

Warnings: lil bit angsty, self doubt, JEALOUS LOKI, fluffy ending

Word Count: 3.3k

Message/ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

Requests are open loves <3

Y/F/N - Your Friend’s Name

It was a beautiful autumn’s day, crisp brown leaves were falling off of the large trees in the courtyard and scattering the cobbled ground. Loki and I had been wandering around for some time now, discussing everything from the books we’ve been reading to the dreams that have come to us in our sleep.

“And then this huge ghost thing was chasing me around the halls! and if that wasn’t weird enough, you popped up-”

“Ah, seeing me in your dreams are we, darling?” Loki chuckled, taking great pleasure at the fact that he had made an appearance in my subconscious, completely ignoring my distress at being chased by a supernatural being.

“Funny you should say that, right after seeing you, I woke up. The sight must’ve given me quite the scare.” I scoffed, a smile unable to stop itself from making its way onto my face, eyes meeting his, face etched with shock. With a hand to his chest, he spoke again in disbelief.

“You have truly offended me, love. I never knew you had this side to you.”

“What can I say? I’m a woman of many talents.” I winked, nudging his side slightly with my elbow.

“Really? Can you produce illusions?”

“No.”

“Look inside other people’s heads?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Turn yourself into a snake to scare your eight year old brother?”

“I still can’t believe you did that”

“My greatest achievement yet.” He smirked, the memory never failing to amuse him.

His stories always had me in awe of his capabilities, even if it was to give his brother a long-term fear, it was still an incredible talent. Whenever he tells me of his latest adventures or tricks, I always think of how well his title fits him. God of Mischief. Maybe that’s why I liked him much more than what a best friend should, not that I'd ever admit it. Not to him anyway.

We soon found ourselves standing next to one of the windows of the hallway, the crystal clear glass giving a beautiful view of the city of Asgard. From here, you could see the Queen’s gardens, full of flowers in all different colours and types, grass cut to perfection. You could see the families in the town, walking around the different buildings, children playing. It was lovely to watch, seeing everyone enjoy the seasonal weather and the light bounce off of the windows, it was ethereal.

“I never get tired of this.” I sighed, voice only slightly above a whisper

“Tired of what, love?”

“Just, this. This view, this kingdom, it’s incredible.” I looked up at Loki, trying to see if he was seeing the same beauty that I did. He was already looking at me when I met his eyes and upon seeing the way they sparkled, I assumed he did.

“Actually, speaking of the Kingdom, I have something to tell you. There’s-”

Abruptly stopping him from continuing his sentence, voices were heard from the other end of the hallway, though we couldn’t make out the words until they came closer. We gave each other a quick look of confusion before turning to see where the commotion was coming from, hearing the quick and heavy footsteps before being able to put names to the faces.

“Loki! Y/N!” A deep voice bellowed. Was that Thor making all of that noise?

Before I could process any more information, a blur of a pastel pink dress was in my face and hands were placed on my shoulders. I smiled down at the slightly out of breath figure using me as a support stand, it was Y/F/N.

“Wow, Y/F/N, you sound much different than when I spoke to you yesterday, did you drink something funny?” I chuckled, receiving a glare from my friend and a quiet laugh from the God beside me. Thor soon appeared next to Y/F/N, hands on his hips and head thrown back as he tried to compose himself.

“My God, Y/F/N, you run fast.” He pants.

“Care to tell us why you’re both running like madmen through the palace?” Loki speaks, one eyebrow raised in curiosity and what looked a little like concern.

“We..had to..tell you..there’s a ball..next week.” Y/F/N spoke, a bit more stable now, but still in between breaths.

I felt my eyes widen, a ball? I didn’t know Asgard held balls.

“Father is opening up the palace next week to neighbouring kingdoms, in hopes to be closer with them, open Asgard up to more trade opportunities, build relationships and whatnot.” Thor explained, emitting a loud sigh to come from Loki.

“I was just about to tell her, brother. Thank you for interrupting.” He rolled his eyes, half joking, half serious. I reached up and patted his shoulder gently, a small smile on my face.

“Maybe next time Lok” He nodded in response, I didn’t get a chance to comfort him much more before I was being pulled away by Y/F/N. With a small huff of surprise, I gave Loki a glance, silently apologising for our conversation being cut short, receiving a shake of his head in reply, affirming me to not worry about it.

“So.” she begins. “We need to find you a date and a dress. I’m thinking blue. I’m wearing purple so it’s probably best to avoid that one. Hmm. let’s see..oh! I know! we could- Y/N? You listening?” I snapped my head around, not missing the sly smile that was plastered all over my friend’s face.

“Y/F/N, don’t-”

“Loki! He has to be your date. You could wear green and match! If he’s even going to wear green, I'm sure I can get Thor to find out, I assume they’ll get ready together. And black accessories! I have so many ideas.” She clapped her hands, over-excited about the opportunity to plan this evening for us. Except for one minor detail.

“That sounds great, Y/F/N, it sounds wonderful, you’re just missing something.”

“Missing something? Oh, if you mean our hair then i’ve already-”

“No, not our hair. Loki hasn’t asked me, and I doubt he will.” I spoke, the second half coming out more as a whisper, my heart dropping a little at the thought. He’d never really expressed having those kinds of feelings for me and I'd always seen him be close with different girls around the palace, he’ll probably ask one of them.

“He might ask you, you never know what’s around the corner.”

“I guess so, we’ll have to wait and see.”

And that was the last we spoke of it before she went into full planner mode again, while I continued to ponder over all of the thoughts running through my head. I mean, he could ask me, right?

--------------------------

He didn’t.

After talking about it with Y/F/N, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe I was wrong, maybe I hadn’t noticed something that she had, that Loki would approach me and ask me to be his company for the evening.

I spent the next couple of days with him, hoping he would ask me, everytime a pause would appear in conversation, maybe he was finally going to do it. And everytime, a little bit of the hope I had, had fizzled out.

I’d even considered other reasons as to why he hadn’t asked, maybe the King didn’t want him and Thor to have dates so that they could mingle with members of the other kingdoms. Of course that theory had flown right out one of the Palace’s windows when Y/F/N told me that Thor was going to be her date. I was right then, he wasn’t wanting to go with me.

I guess I understood, I’m the best friend, we’d always been that. I think a part of me just thought that maybe he, like me, wanted something a little more. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Y/F/N and I had been getting ready for a while now, our hair was styled to perfection, our dresses were on and both of us were fully accessorized. We were looking at ourselves in the mirror, doing spins and curtseys and gushing over how good the other looked.

“You look amazing tonight, Y/N, really. Loki is missing out.”

“Thank you, and I'm sure his date is beautiful.” I spoke, fidgeting with the fabric of my dress, trying to avoid the subject and the twisting knot in my stomach at the thought of him with someone else all night. “You look incredible! You were right to pick purple, it’s definitely your colour.”

“Y/N’s right, you look gorgeous.” Thor declared, leaning against the doorway sporting a black suit and a dark purple tie, the perfect match with his date’s dress. I could feel my eyes light up when seeing how happy the simple, yet effective comment had made Y/F/N. Rushing over, she engulfed Thor in a hug before leaning up slightly and giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Ah and can’t forget, Y/N, you look stunning tonight.” He gestured to me, arm almost scanning me up and down.

“Stop, you’ll make me blush.” I laughed. “You both head off, I’ll catch up.”

“Are you sure? We don’t mind waiting?” Y/F/N questioned.

“Don’t be silly. You guys go on ahead, I'll meet you there.”

With a nod and a wave, they were off. They really did look like a perfect match tonight. I continued to look at myself in the mirror, fixing any stray hairs, flattening any kinks in my dress. Realistically, I was probably trying to prolong leaving for as long as I could. I was excited, but I was turning up on my own while everyone else had someone, it was a bit nerve-wracking. I still wanted to look my best though.

“Stop trying to convince yourself that you look good, you could literally blow an army of men away by looks alone.” A voice spoke, I spun to see who was speaking, the flash of green was enough to decipher who it was.

“You look lovely tonight, darling.” He grinned, the pet name had set off butterflies in my stomach.

“Thank you. As do you.”

“Well, I did put in an effort, nice to know it’s appreciated.” He joked, a breathy laugh left my lips, entertained by his words.

“Yes, well, I'm sure plenty of others will too.”

“The eyes will never leave me, I'm sure. Unless they’re on you, then I'd be surprised if I get even so much as a glimpse in my direction. Someone is a very lucky guy tonight, that’s for sure.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked, confused by his statement.

“Well, they get to be beside you all evening, it’s a beautiful view.” He winked.

It could’ve been you, I thought. I knew he was joking, however that didn’t stop the fire in me from igniting.

“I could say the same for you, someone is a very lucky girl.”

“I’ll be sure to let her know if she ever thinks otherwise.” Joking, again.

So he had asked someone. Albeit disappointed, I'm happy he’s happy. Though I still wish I was the girl in question, I couldn't stop him if he was interested in someone else. That wasn’t fair.

Giving him a brief nod and a tight lipped smile, I picked up the front of my dress a little bit and made my way out of the room and downstairs to the ball. I could still enjoy myself, the night is young, I've got this.

------------------

“It was crazy! And let me tell you, my dad was so angry with me. He didn’t let me serve Turkey again after that year.” Charlie, a guy that I had met an hour or so ago, finished his story of the Christmas horror he had, allowing me to relax for the first time that evening. Up until now, it had felt like all I’d seen was either happy couples, or stares from across the room. Usually the second and usually Loki. The same Loki who had a girl’s arm linked with his and was looking at him like he held the world in his grasp. I broke the gaze, finding it difficult to look at the pair for any longer, as I turned back to Charlie so he could have my attention again, a lazy smile was present as he took a sip of his wine.

“I don’t blame him, really, it sounds like you started a riot!” I exclaimed, sending us both into a full on belly laugh, thinking back to the story. This continued for another five or so minutes, laughter turning into a low chuckle, as if we were about to be told off for how loud we were being. Just as my hand had reached his arm to help hold me up, saving me from laughing myself into the ground, Loki and his date had made their way over.

“Enjoying ourselves, I hope?” He beamed, taking one look at me before giving his full attention to Charlie.

“Yes, yes we are, thank you. How about the two of you?”

“Ye-”

“It’s been fine, yeah, good. So, what’s your name then?” Loki interrupted, his date having no choice but to leave him to respond instead.

“I’m Charlie Fernsby.” He held his hand out, greeting Loki. A gesture that was very awkwardly not reciprocated as he let his hand fall back to his side before Loki spoke up again.

“Charlie..Charlie, now, isn’t that a girl’s name?”

“Loki!” I scolded, giving him an evil side glance, what was he doing?

“No, no it’s okay. Yeah, it can be used for girls too, but it's common for boys to have the name Charlie.” Polite as ever, he responded. A mischievous look made its way onto the God’s face. Oh no.

“So, I take it your parents wanted a girl?”

“I- I’m sorry?”

“I assume your parents wanted a girl, considering they’ve given you a girl’s name?” I rolled my eyes, this teasing was unnecessary.

“Charlie, let’s go and get a drink.” I tried to tug him away, only to be halted by another sentence leaving my best friend’s mouth.

“It was only a question, I'm sure he doesn’t mind answering, do you Carl?”

“Charlie.”

“That’s what I said.”

“You said-” I tried to interject, but he was quick to stop me

“I know what I said, Y/N, but I'm speaking to him. Let him answer the question.”

Loki’s date was long gone by now, she’d left to speak to another group of people, presumably another few couples, leaving us three to have this discussion, thing, whatever you would think to call it.

“I’m just saying, maybe they would’ve preferred a daughter, seeing as they’ve very obviously made that clear.” He beamed, expecting me to join in and agree with him, I don’t find this funny. At all.

“Can you excuse us, Charlie? Loki, A word.” I pointed to the door, giving him a look implying for him not to test me.

“I’m in trouble. Wish me luck Carlos.”

“Charlie.”

“I know, that’s what I said.”

I pushed him all the way out the door, into the hallway and round the corner so as not to disturb everyone else’s evening. When I’d made sure there was no one else around, I looked up at the Asgardian, my arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed, I wasn’t impressed anymore.

“So, are we out here for some hide or seek, or?”

“What the hell was that in there?!” I raised my voice slightly, his need to always make everything a joke wasn’t working this time. He had his night, his date, he didn’t need to come over and insult mine.

“What was what, darling? I was making conversation.”

“You were making fun of him.”

“No, I showed some concern about his parents choices, that’s all. Friendly advice if anything.” He looked a bit more frustrated with me now, as though he was stating the obvious and it was going over my head. I wasn’t having it this time.

“No, Loki. You weren’t and you know you weren’t. You had your date, she was fine, you were fine-”

“Well-”

“Let me finish. Everything was fine. Until you caught sight of me having a friendly conversation with another guy who wasn’t you. But guess what Lok, I’m allowed to do that! I’m an adult, I can speak with whoever I like!” My arms were all over the place now, my frustration was starting to show itself, it seems I had a bit pent up.

I saw his lips move, I heard something, but it was so quiet I couldn't make it out.

“Speak up, Loki. I can’t hear you.”

“I said, if you think he was just being friendly, you’re clearly out of your mind.”

Is he serious?

“Are you- Loki, you have no right to make a judgement on who and how and why I interact with other people. Not that it should matter to you anyway, you’ve spoken to other women before and I've never said a word or tried to stop you. Why does this matter so much?”

Silence.

“No, please, go on, tell me, enlighten me as to why this bothered you so much tonight, because trust me, I'm dying to know, truly.” I was shouting now, I just wanted answers for his behaviour, I didn’t think it would be this difficult.

His hands had made his way into his trouser pockets, eyes looking everywhere before settling on mine. He looked conflicted, I wanted to drop it when I saw his troubled gaze, but I couldn’t go back in there without an explanation.

“Ple-”

“I like you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear, love? That I was so uncomfortable seeing some you get close with some guy that I had to embarrass him in front of you? Something I'm sure my father won’t be so impressed to hear, but there, you’ve got your confession.” His voice had gone much louder than mine, taking me by surprise, so much so that it took me a minute to process what he had said. He liked me?

He turned to leave, I assume because I hadn't said anything for a matter of minutes, but I gently grabbed his arm, tugging him back towards me. I looked up into his eyes again. I was so close that you could see the specs of different colours spotted in them, they were flawless. This view beats the Asgard view anyday.

“Why didn’t you mention this before?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. Worried I guess. We’d never spoken of moving past friendship and I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“I’m more than interested, Loki.” I grinned, my smile meeting my eyes, never leaving his.

“Not Chelsey?”

“For the love, it’s Ch-”

I couldn’t say his name, a certain pair of lips had stopped me from doing so. As they molded against mine, my hands went up to tangle themselves in his hair, his hands falling to my waist and pulling me closer, I didn’t even think that could be possible. We pulled away when we needed to catch a breath, foreheads falling against each other, smiles painted on both of our faces.

“I bet I'll be in your dreams again tonight.” He whispered.

“I bet I'll be in yours.”

“Always are, Darling. Always are.”

taglist: @horrorxweasley

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havenoffandoms · 3 years

Note

Hey congrats on 900 followers! Would I be able to request the touch starved prompt from your list with the pairing Aiden/Lambert please? Love all your writing!

Hello!! Thanks for requesting this prompt and this pairing! I’ve been on a right Lambden kick recently, so I felt inspired. I hope you like it!

Prompt 13: Touch-Starved

Pairing: Aiden x Lambert

Warnings: None

Prompt List

Lambert was apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together. Being stabbed to death in his sleep comes to mind, or having Aiden go all batshit crazy if Lambert dared to beat him at Gwent. Lambert has heard many rumours about Cat witchers in his long life. Cats are batshit crazy. Cats are emotionally volatile. Cats are backstabbing sons of bitches… literally and metaphorically. Cats are bad. Cats are evil, etc, etc. All these rumours circulated in Kaer Morhen long before Lambert even set foot in that ramshackle castle. He was too young to have witnessed the Tournament, but he heard the older witchers talk. Later in his life, when only a handful of wolf witchers were left after the sacking, Eskel gave Lambert a more detailed account of the Tournament.

“The Cats betrayed us, went on a rampage. Killed many wolf witchers in the process. Geralt and I lost many friends that day,” Eskel told him one evening, when the oldest surviving wolf was too far in his cup to notice that he was oversharing. “Radowit’s court mage Astrogarus promised the Cats monopoly on killing monsters within Kaedwen in exchange for attacking the Wolves during the tournament. Turns out Radowit was a backstabbing motherfucker himself. He ordered his soldiers to shoot all of the remaining witchers of both schools in the arena.”

“Lemme guess,” Lambert spoke, his own speech slightly slurred, “pretty boy saved the day?”

Eskel shook his head. “Fled. Mousesack helped him escape the massacre. Poor bastard never forgave himself for abandonin’ our brothers, but what choice did he have?”

Don’t get Lambert wrong. He’s not saying that Aiden is harmless, far from it. The guy’s lethal with his swords, deadly with a pair of daggers, not to mention a stealthy and clever thief. Aiden is mercurial, hot-tempered and a bit feral when he wants to be, and his morals are at best dubious. Whereas wolf witchers had their emotions beaten out of them at a young age, cat witchers feel too much, too strongly. Lambert’s witnessed Aiden flip tables when peasants beat him at Gwent, but he’s also witnessed the Cat shed a tear after bringing the news to a mother that her son did not survive the ghoul attack two villages down the road.

Lambert was apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together, but the Cat had never ceased to surprise him. The most unexpected trait Aiden has displayed to date is his insatiable need for physical contact. It’s not like Lambert hates being touched - he’s only human, albeit a mutated one, but still human. He enjoys a hug as much as the next person, especially when said hug comes from one of his brothers (or, dare he say, Vesemir) at the end of a long and difficult year on the Path. Lambert has also never begrudged a bed partner a post-coital cuddle session. Aiden’s need for physical contact is… on a whole different level.

The first time it happened, Lambert almost shoved the Cat off him and sent him packing, until he realised that Aiden was not only hugging him, but clinging onto him. His sharp nails were digging in the soft material of Lambert’s shirt, the fabric creaking in protest under the firm grip. When Lambert looked down, he noticed the pinched eyebrows and tears trailing down Aiden’s face. It wasn’t until a broken sob pushed past the Cat’s lips that Lambert reluctantly returned the embrace, arms wound tightly around Aiden’s trembling body. Aiden eventually settled in the safety of Lambert’s arms, his features softening as he sank back into a peaceful slumber.

Neither mentioned the previous evening’s impromptu cuddling session, but from that moment one, it was like someone had flicked a switch. Aiden came up with every possible fucking excuse to touch Lambert. Their hands would always accidentally graze each other when they packed up camp, or tacked up the horses. Aiden would bump shoulders with him when they were travelling on foot. If they sat next to one another in a tavern, Aiden would press his leg against Lambert’s, and if they were facing each other, a tentative foot would gently nudge Lambert’s shin and linger there. It’s not like Aiden was trying to hide his intentions, either. They rarely paid for two rooms anymore, because even if they did, Aiden would always end up in Lambert’s bed anyway, arms wound around Lambert’s body like a koala clinging to its mother.

Lambert doesn’t hate Aiden’s need for physical proximity, he’s just… confused by it. Aiden rarely takes any lovers to bed, even though he clearly craves physical intimacy. Lambert is more than happy to cuddle with Aiden, especially when they are forced to sleep under the stars and the early autumn frosts begin to settle over the region. It saves them from lighting a campfire, which may attract the wrong kind of attention to them. That’s all that’s ever transpired between the two, though… cuddling. Lambert enjoys the cuddling as much as Aiden does, but for Aiden it seems to be about more than mere enjoyment. The Cat simply refuses to go without physical intimacy which at times can be… alright, it can feel overbearing, but Lambert’s not about to complain, not when most humans turn away from him in disgust and contempt when he tries to chat them up.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Aiden almost develops a form of separation anxiety. He refuses to let Lambert out of his sight, going so far as to follow the man everywhere, and that’s the moment when Lambert snaps.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he asks, his tone hiding none of the irritation he feels at being tailed by this overgrown tomcat. Aiden stops dead in his tracks, his eyes growing wide at Lambert’s words.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been following me since this morning… I have errands to run and it’s hard to do that when you’re breathing down my neck!”

Lambert instantly regrets his words the minute they leave his mouth. Aiden’s shoulders visibly sag at Lambert’s comment, his content expression melting into something sadder and the sight tugs at the wolf’s heartstrings in all the wrong ways. Aiden averts Lambert’s eyes shyly, the tip of his ears turning a pretty shade of pink as embarrassment washes over him. Lambert heaves a sigh. Way to act like a fucking dick.

“Sorry, Aiden. I… I didn’t mean to sound like an ass, but-”

“It’s alright, I… I knew this moment would come eventually.”

“What are you talking about?” Lambert asks, a confused frown etched on his face. Aiden doesn’t look at him when he replies in a voice far too small to belong to the lethal, cocky witcher Lambert has come to know over the past few months.

“You’re gonna ask me to leave for good. I get it. I… I’ll go back to the room and pack my things.”

As Aiden turns around to leave, Lambert’s hand shoots out and grabs a hold of Aiden’s wrist. Before Lambert’s brain has a chance to catch up, he finds himself pulling Aiden into a nearby alley, away from prying eyes of judgemental humans meandering the stalls of the midweek market. Aiden looks so unsure now, so vulnerable like this, and it makes Lambert want to wrap the Cat up in warm blankets and cuddle him and forget the world for a while. Instead, he settles on pressing Aiden’s back against the wall and draping himself around the Cat witcher as much as he can.

“That’s not what I meant,” Lambert breathes in the air pocket between them as he locks eyes with Aiden, “you’ve just been… especially clingy recently. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Aiden averts his eyes once again, but Lambert is quick to grip the other man’s chin and force Aiden to meet his gaze. Even that simple touch pulls a small hiss from Aiden, whose eyes flutter shut as he relishes in the feeling of Lambert touching him anywhere. Lambert purses his lips, eager for an answer.

“Aiden-”

“Winter is around the corner,” Aiden whispers, his tongue darting out to lick his suddenly dry lips. Lambert’s frown deepens.

“And?”

His question is met with a pointed eye roll from Aiden.

“And… wolves return to their dens for winter, don’t they? I was just… enjoying the last few weeks in your company before you leave and never come back.”

As the final piece of the puzzle slots into place, understanding dawns on Lambert. He pulls away from Aiden and the small whimper the loss of contact triggers does not go unnoticed. Something old and fragile aches in Lambert’s chest as the meaning of Aiden’s words sink in. Aiden isn’t just worried about being separated from Lambert for a few months, but he’s worried that Lambert will never come back.The wolf links his fingers with his Cat’s, squeezing softly as he leans into Aiden’s space and rubs his bearded cheek against Aiden’s jawline. The latter quickly melts under the soft ministrations, the soft content rumble deepening into a continuous purr as Lambert nuzzles the crook of Aiden’s neck.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“Yeah, right,” Aiden snorts in response, “cause you’re so good with feelings and shit.”

“Not everyone’s a sappy sentimental bitch like you are,” Lambert teases gently, earning himself a half-hearted slap up the back of the head. “I don’t have to go back to Kaer Morhen this winter.”

Aiden tenses, his soft purring stopping abruptly as he takes in Lambert’s words. Lambert continues to rub his cheek against Aiden’s jaw, his neck, his cheek… wherever he can reach, the action meant to soothe the brewing storm in Aiden’s mind.

“It’s your home,” Aiden offers weakly, “I don’t want… I… it’s your home.”

“I can send a letter to the old man. Let him know I’m alive. We could find a den somewhere else… an attic somewhere, or an abandoned castle.” Lambert nuzzles the spot right behind Aiden’s ear, earning a pleased hum from the Cat. “Or you could come with me.”

“Sure. Cause that’s gonna end well…”

“That’s settled then. I’m spending winter with you.”

Aiden pushes Lambert away, their eyes meeting once again but this time, Aiden searches for any trace of a lie in Lambert’s amber gaze. He finds none, because Lambert is one hundred percent honest in his offer. He would ditch Vesemir, Geralt and Eskel for a year to spend it with Aiden… and the thought should scare him more than it does, truthfully. He’s only known the Cat for a few months, and yet… well, maybe Lambert was dreading the winter as well. How about that? It’s not like he felt equally anxious about leaving Aiden, it’s just… fuck off.

“You mean that?”

“Mhm. Fair warning… I hate the cold. If I’m spending the winter with you, you’ll have to find a way to keep me warm or I will bite your head off.”

In Aiden’s defence, he does keep Lambert warm all winter long. Their cuddling finally turns into something more, and from the moment Lambert and Aiden cross that fateful line there is no going back. Aiden becomes insatiable, always seeking Lambert’s body in some shape or form, never letting the wolf out of his sight again. Lambert may have been apprehensive about many things concerning Aiden when the two started travelling together, but it turns out that all his worries were for nothing. Turns out Cat witchers are still crazy, and feral, and mercurial… a tad possessive as well, something Lambert doesn’t hate... but they’re also the cuddliest sons of bitches on the Continent.

Lambert can live with that, he thinks.

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aquafaith · 3 years

Text

My lengthy, angry ACOSF rant review.

Spoilers, TW for mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

I loved ACOTAR. I still love ACOTAR. I always will love ACOTAR. But every book afterwards made me give up more and more. ACOMAF romanticized an abusive relationship and assassinated characters for the author's convenience. ACOWAR was a bunch of boring and inconsequential death scares. ACOFAS was all-round dreadful. And each book kept shitting on and pushing away Lucien for no reason.

I'd like to preface this by saying I hated Nesta too. I hated the way she treated Feyre in ACOTAR especially, and I wasn't even too excited for this book because I wasn't that keen on Nesta as a character.

Nesta's POV and her backstory changed my perspective. It does not excuse her actions. All Nesta stans can hold these characters accountable for what they do - trauma is a reason, not an excuse. I, and many others, sided with Nesta because of the way she's treated by everyone else in this book. Also, if you're going to hate Nesta for not teaching Feyre how to read and letting her hunt at fourteen, (which I did, and are very valid things to hate), AT LEAST hold Elain accountable too.

This book. This fucking book.

Shall we start with the intervention? Feyre on her little power trip thinks that her boyfriend that hates Nesta and Nesta hates back, Nesta's ex-best friend, and her possible mate who she never talks to should be at this stupid fucking intervention??? Excuse me???

Remember in ACOMAF when Feyre wouldn't shut up about how rich Rhysand is? Feyre literally has four or five houses and is always talking about how much jewelry and lingerie she can afford because Rhysand is so rich??? Well, Nesta has a few shots. So you know what Feyre does? Humiliates Nesta at this "intervention", TEARS DOWN HER HOME, and forces her to go to the Illyrian training camp.

That was the god awful premise for this book.

Did you think Elain wasn't there because she was against the "intervention"? Nope! She was packing Nesta's belongings without permission.

Remember in ACOMAF when it's made a big fucking deal that locking up a traumatised woman is extremely damaging? Well, when Nesta decides she doesn't want to be in Illyria, Feyre locks her in the House of Wind. Nesta can't fly, so her only way of leaving is down the TEN THOUSAND STEPS, that Feyre KNOWS Nesta isn't capable of climbing.

Feyre's pregnant. In ACOFAS she randomly decided that she wanted a baby to remember Rhysand by if he dies. Which doesn't make any sense because they made that stupid fucking death pact in ACOWAR. It's just SJM superimposing her pregnancy onto her early 20's protagonist. Ignoring the fact that Feyre isn't ready for a baby and Rhysand CERTAINLY isn't, and with a war just ended and another looming and so much trauma and a DEATH PACT are all such horrible circumstances to bring a child into, Feyre is already pregnant. Remember when SJM made a big deal about Fae babies being so hard to conceive, and Feyre said in ACOFAS they wouldn't have to worry for a long time because it can take years to conceive your first Fae child? Well it's been no more than 3 or 4 months and Feyre's already pregnant. Yep.

Also the birth will kill her. Because of course it will. Rhysand KNEW this, and still agreed to try for a baby.

There's no solution. Abortions don't exist for some stupid reason, and a C section would apparently kill Feyre?

(Wasn't this book supposed to be about Nessian?)

In ACOWAR, Cassian was on the battlefield with his entrails around his knees. Someone had to literally hold his guts in for him, and he's fine, but you're telling me a C section would kill Feyre?

Don't worry, this is just setting up the AWFUL ending to this book.

ACOSF amounts to Nesta being gaslit into believing her abusers are right. Her friends and family slut shame her and shame her for her lifestyle constantly. Cassian says it took him decades to work through some of his trauma, and he tried to drink and fuck it away too, but suddenly when Nesta does so it's heinous? Nesta's barely twenty five and she's expected to cope better than these ancient immortals.

Hell, didn't SJM write ACOMAF? Nobody expected Feyre to pick herself up so quickly. The IC (excluding Rhysand) respected her boundaries for the most part and understood when it was grief, trauma, and turmoil that made her angry, sad, want to be left alone, etc. But that's all forgotten here.

Amren also compares Nesta to the people in, and says she belongs in, The Court of Nightmares. You know, the murderers, abusers and rapists? This innocent woman who had a few shots and a bit of sex is on par with them, apparently!

The sex scenes.

SJM is scared to say vagina so she says sex.

She says seed to mean semen.

Apparently the word cunt turns SJM on. I just found Cassian saying that kinda cringe because I'm Bri'ish so the word cunt really isn't a big deal.

Back to the baby killing Feyre, because this is definitely what we all wanted from this book as indicated by the change in covers and format and title... Rhysand decides not to tell Feyre. He tells her friends and family, and tells them not to tell her.

SJM loves sweeping Rhysand's abuse from the first book under the rug and claiming it's always about Feyre's choice... where is that here, MAAS? WHERE IS IT?

Anyway, when Nesta rightfully decides to tell Feyre (although it is kind of out of spite), Rhysand threatens to kill Nesta.

And I believed him. With the way he treats his """mAtE tHaT hE lOvEs sO mUcH""" and all the people he's mindlessly killed before, do you really think he wouldn't kill the person who gave Feyre an inch of autonomy?

So what does Cassian do? His lover who he cares deeply about and suspects is his mate has received a death threat from tHe mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lORd iN hIsToRy.

Cassian simply gets Nesta out of the court.

EXCUSE ME?

He doesn't breathe ONE word to Rhysand about this. This Illyrian WARRIOR who fought with his GUTS HANGING OUT didn't dare step up to the hIGh lOrD who he considers his brother and sparrs and fights with all the time?

Cassian literally does nothing.

Was it not Rhysand himself who said Mated males are dangerous? Can kill anyone who looks at their mate? Can be dangerous simply leaving the house? Rhys and Feyre both pull the Mate card to justify their bad actions on the other's behalf... and Cassian just tried to get Nesta out of the court?

Also, this High King bullshit.

I swear to fucking god, if SJM DARES to make this abusive, power-tripping, mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lOrD eVEr, husband-insert of hers hIgH kInG, I will fight her in the street.

My beloved Lucien is in this book. Only for him to be used and shat on.

I really liked it when he calmed Cassian down with just a look though. Yes please fox man.

Helion is also in this book. Nothing to do with Lucien.

Eris is also in this book. ERIS. Lucien's eldest brother. The same one who abused him for years, but according to SJM he's slightly better, because at least he didn't agree to kill Lucien's lover. He betrayed his daddy that one time, therefore Eris is good. Y'know, the same Eris who abused Mor? Left her laying on the Autumn Court border with a nail in her womb? Well SJM is going back on her own canon to redeem yet ANOTHER abusive male, while continuing to demonize Tamlin for things he only happened to do when SJM decided the villain from the first book was sexy.

Nesta and Cassian are Mates.

Remember when Mates were supposed to be a rare and sacred thing? Now SJM dishes them out like Oprah.

I don't want these characters to be mates. I want to see them slowly fall in love. But SJM is incapable of writing that so she forces them together with the mAtInG bOnD. That's literally the only basis for most of these relationships, Feysand especially.

The only relationship where the bond would make sense is between Helion and The Lady of Autumn. Who still isn't named. But I will die on the hill that they're mates, I can feel it between them.

I wanted someone to die in this book. I predicted that it would either be Helion or Tarquin, but Tarquin isn't even in this one.

And the ending.

SJM can't write a decent climax, so she kills both Feyre and Rhysand for the second time. Yep.

The baby is being born which stupidly kills Feyre, and thankfully takes Rhysand with them.

Nesta decides to save them. Bad choice. But she decides to save them! Because she's so powerful and she ATE THE CONTENTS OF THE CAULDRON and she's CONNECTED TO THE MOTHER.

Do you know what happens.

Nesta loses her powers.

NESTA.

LOSES.

HER.

POWERS.

The powers we've hardly seen, the powers that were briefly mentioned and used ONCE in ACOWAR, then we saw like two flashes of in this book? They're GONE now. GONE SO NESTA CAN SAVE HER ABUSIVE SISTER AND ABUSIVE HUSBAND WHO ABUSES THEM BOTH.

Nesta is just an Amren now. They both fought for their powers, and had to give them up to save people who didn't deserve it. Now they're anticlimactically trapped in powerless bodies.

Also, and I can't BELIEVE I didn't originally include this - do you know what else Nesta TRADED HER POWERS FOR?

Illyrian anatomy so she can carry Cassian's baby one day.

EXCUSE ME?

I am so fucking SICK TO DEATH of the narrative that every woman needs a man and children to be happy. SJM clearly loves this because she's literally only keeping Amren and Nesta alive now to be sex objects to their partners and nothing else seeing as their POWERS WERE RIPPED AWAY FROM THEM, and now NESTA TRADED THOSE POWERS TO HAVE A BABY SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WANTS? Nesta does NOT strike me as a motherly type. She's the wine aunt, she and Cassian are the couple that go on holiday a lot and and babysit their nieces and nephews, but nope. Nesta HAS to have children.

The Feysand baby is called Nyx. That's just so underwhelming, you go from these huge, multiple syllable names like Amarantha and Morrigan and Lucien to Nyx? I get it's supposed to be unique but it's not even meaningful. It's just more shit-flavoured icing on the hAHa nIgHt uWu cake. I prefer Renesmée.

Nesta is wrong somehow. She says she's sorry as she's saving them. FOR WHAT? For being a little rude to Feyre as all sisters are? And rightfully hating your sister's abuser?

Oh yeah, remember in ACOWAR when Nesta took care of a comatose, starving Elain for months? Elain is randomly okay now because she takes care of her mental health the stereotypical way of baking cakes, and not drinking and fucking, which she shames Netsa for.

Remember the slut shaming, demeaning comments that the whole iNnEr cIrClE made about Nesta? They all expect apologies from her. For some reason.

Nesta has done nothing wrong. She coped with her trauma and minded her business in her own ways, and she's expected to apologise to the people who control and emotionally abuse her.

Nothing that any of these characters did to Nesta is right. Nesta wasn't okay at the end, this wasn't Nesta's healing story. This is Nesta being shamed and degraded until she submits.

Oh I can't believe I forgot to write this in my first draft of this review, do you know how Nesta "overcomes" her grief about her Father's death and her conflicting feelings about him and his life and her guilt? When she visits his grave for the first time, she takes Nyx.

NYX.

She holds NYX up to the grave and talks about how it's his grandson.

GO AWAY YOU STUPID DEMON BABY THIS IS NOT YOUR BOOK.

Speaking of, it's revealed that Nesta was abused by her mother and grandmother in this book? Something we were all looking forward to is seeing more of the Archeron's mother seeing as Feyre was so young when she died, but... nope. She gets a few vague mentions, and this newly revealed abuse is entirely glossed over. Nesta was also actively groomed by an older man at 14. But SJM glosses over this because of course she does.

Finally, the bonus chapters.

My edition came with a bonus chapter from Feyre's POV. It was pointless and I hated it.

There's another bonus chapter from Azriel's POV. Once I'd finished this book, he was one of the few characters I still harboured a shred of respect for.

Then I read his bonus chapter.

This exists to purely objectify Elain.

Whether you ship Elain with Azriel, or Lucien, or neither, this chapter is disgusting. He thinks about her coming on his tounge, and other things simply just to please him.

He then dares to suggest that "the Cauldron picked wrong" in choosing Lucien as Elain's mate?

No Azriel, SJM picked RIGHT in not giving each Archeron sister a bAt bOy.

Rhysand does the only right thing he's ever done by telling Azriel to stay away from Elain, but then he has to ruin it by clarifying that it's only so they can manipulate and use Lucien more.

Oh, and Azriel wants to kill Lucien.

Need I remind you that Lucien respects Azriel? Lucien is another victim of the Night Court's needless, baseless torment, and Azriel is no exception.

Lucien stays well out of Elain's way because she makes it clear that she's not interested in a mate, but Azriel wants to kill him simply for being her mate.

Lucien has done nothing. And I mean literally NOTHING to warrant any of this treatment. From the bAt bOyS, from Feyre, from his family, from SJM, from the deluded part of this fandom that think he's done wrong. NOTHING.

All I liked about this book was the Lucien scenes (which is a given), ((although I hated the way everyone talks about him behind his back)), Nesta's relationship with the house, Emerie and Gwyn, the evidence that Gwynriel is endgame and subsequently Elucien, and the book love. Everything else was horrible. Oh, and Nesta hates Rhysand. I love that for her, because everyone else bows at his feet.

Oh yeah, when Nesta DARES suggest that Rhysand is an "arrogant, preening asshole" which I think is a compliment, Cassian can't take Rhys' cock out of his mouth for one second, and has to get mad at her for having an opinion. Don't even get me started on Azriel in that scene.

If each book after ACOTAR made me slowly give up, this book made me give up altogether. I cannot go on to support this victim-blaming, abuse-forgiving, misogynistic series. I've given up on SJM, and the only characters I care about anyone are Lucien, Nesta, Helion, and Tarquin. I'll continue to read this series to see if SJM redeems herself, but I'll be downloading them for free. I'm not giving this piece of shit any more of my money.

I hope we don't get the Lucien book. I don't want her to slaughter my fox in the way she slaughtered LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE.

Thanks for listening.

Edit: I put the review on Goodreads!

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti acowar #anti acofas #anti acosf #anti sjm #anti feysand #anti rhysand

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iridiscent-aesthetics · 3 years

Note

I just saw your headcanon of az being jealous of gwyn and eris, may I suggest the opposite? gwyn being jealous of az and eris talking.

Oh I LOVE this one! Might be a tad bit tricky but I'm soo very up for it! Thank you @aelingalathyniusrailme for SUCH a great idea!

Gwyn would've found this entertaining. IF it wasn't Azriel there. She was aware of their hatred. Aware that they were literally always at each others throats. But she couldn't help but fume with jealousy while watching them in the training ring take on each other. Blow to blow, matching at each stride. She was watching Eris and Az spar. It began with a heated argument leading to the Autumn court heir challenging the Shadowsinger to spar. And now here they were, since a straight of 15 minutes, sparring. Neither nowhere close to yielding. Gwyn was cursing the redheaded male with all she had for choosing sparring instead of dueling. The absence of the weapons as a bridge and the proximity of their sweaty bodies was too much, nor did it help that neither had a shirt on. The angst, the tension built between them; it seemed straight out of one of her smutty romance books. Gwyn wasn't liking this one bit. "Come on guys, We get it! You're strong and bold. You're Fearless males! There. fed your bloated male egos. Now stop. would you?!" She yelled, throwing her hands in the air frustrated. "Let them be Gwyn, this is far more entertaining than having to listen them arguing to the point of biting each others heads off." Cassian stood besides her crossing his arms and watching them with a hint of curiosity as to who would win. Gwyn bet her money on Az because she would have it no other way, but as much as she hated to admit, Eris was just as good. "Yeah Gwyn. Besides, two of the hottest males fighting, now that's a sight to sore eyes. Enjoy the show!" Nesta chimed in elbowing her, eyeing Cass as he put his hand to his heart and feigned a dramatic expression of pain. Nesta rolled her eyes. "Oh I'll give you a good show Ness." He said scooping her in his arms and took to the sky. Newly mated idiots, couldn't stay away for a minute. Gwyn looked back to the ring and groaned "Well at least take a break!" "Okay!" Yelled Az before delivering a good blow right to Eris's jaw. "Break." There. That should teach the male a lesson for getting all cocky and getting Az worked up. "Going easy on me Shadowsinger?" Eris said rubbing his jaw. Mother! this male's audacity was insufferable! "Wouldn't want to ruin that pretty face of yours, your highness." Az smirked back. Gwyneth clenched her fist. Pretty face?! What in all of Prythian made Az think Eris was pretty! Did he find him attractive? Was he into males? Eris was beyond fine, he was VERY attractive. A strong jaw and sharp eyes with a strong intensity. The male was hot . quite literally. He would make a fit equal to Az. His lethal darkness and Eris's burning fire. She shook her head, No. She was over thinking, Az hated Eris; old bad blood. There was no way he'd fall for him. But she'd make sure of it. Az walked out of the training pit and straight to her, sweat dripping off him. Gwyn couldn't tear her eyes off him. "Enjoying the show Berdara?" Came a teasing Azriels' voice. "Mhmm." She didn't even want to deny it, let him know she was attracted to him. About time it got through that dense head of the Night Court's infamous Spymaster. "Hey Az..., what's your type?" She shot him the question looking everywhere but him. He shot his head to her. "What?" She finally met his gaze. "I'm asking you what kind of people you're attracted to Shadowsinger!" Gwyn was certain her face was as red as her hair now. He looked into her eyes for a hard moment before answering in a low voice. "Redheads. Stubborn ones with a fiery attitude at that. Bonus if they're competitive." He was still looking straight into her eyes, with a small smirk, tilting his head aside as if waiting for her expression, while his shadows were dancing around her in excitement. Gwyn's jaw almost dropped. Along with her heart as it fell to her shoe. She was right. Of course. Of course he was attracted to fucking Eris. Redhead, stubborn, fiery attitude AND competitive. Should've added fire d*ck to the list. "Right." She'd say nothing else. She looked away. "Gwyn?" Came his voice again. Her heart ached as she looked over

to Azriel's concerned face, trying to keep her sorrow reeled in within her. His shadows were frantically jumping around them. "Is everything alright, why'd you ask?" She gave him her best smile. "Yes of course." she waved it off. " just curious." He didn't seem convinced at the slightest but didn't push as he held up a water bottle and drank. Gwyn couldn't stop herself then, She was still his friend, He deserved to be happy, even if not with her. She'd help him pursue Eris. Even if the male would never deserve Az. "So I take it you're into males?" Az choked on the water he was drinking. "What?" He croaked out. Gwyn rose an eyebrow. "Males Shadowsinger, the ones that usually have a d*ck and insufferable egos but pea sized brains?" Azriel looked amused. "You forget that I'm a male too priestess." "Didn't." She muttered and leveled him with a bored stare. "Answer the question Spymaster." Az looked away, his gaze probably searching for Eris. "I've had male lovers in the past. But I've never felt a strong attraction, especially romantic attraction to them over five centuries. Pretty sure nothing's changed now." "Then Eris- how, He's an exception?" Azriel looked at her with a bewildered expression eyes widened. "Eris? What-why, what about him Gwyn?" Gwyn rolled her eyes, hands on her hips, looking down at him. "Quit the puppy eyes act Az. It fine admitting you're attracted to Eris, he's okayish. You'd look good together I guess. Enemies to Lovers arc, angsty slow burn romance,," she shrugged nonchalantly even though she was fuming inside. Az's shadows dropped. To say he was shocked was an understatement. Should he laugh, should he be hurt, or angry maybe? Eris? Of all people in Prythian, HIM? Gwyn though he was attracted to THAT male? "Gwyneth." He started in an emotionless tone face solemn, "What the actual fuck led you to THAT conclusion?" "Oh please. It was evident, for all that being Spymaster and stuff, you sure are obvious about your crushes. I mean for starts, you HATE him, or at least ACT like you do. That's always the first step to enemies to lovers. And then you guys are ALWAYS bantering! Score 2. And did you SEE that tension while you were sparring? AND Flirting with Eris? Its clear as day 'Mr. I show No Emotion'. And Redheads? Seriously Az, could you have even tried and been any more subtle? Az looked at her for a dead half a minute and then burst out laughing so hard that everyone in the training arena were now staring at them in pure shock to see the infamous Spymaster laughing his ass off. Az looked at her, trying to stop laughing, but one look at her angry face and he burst out in fits all over again. Gwyn kicked him good and hard in the knee. "Ouch!" He yelled, not stopped laughing as he held his knee. "Gwyn- I oh Cauldron. Wait." He heaved in and out. "Good shot Berdara." He said with a hint of pride, still chuckling. Gwyn kicked him again. "Nice try deflecting Spymaster." Az shook his head rapidly, still trying to catch his breath. He calmed down and looked at her. "Gwyneth Berdara. My darling. You thought I was attracted to Eris?" He started laughing again. Gwyn grew nervous, "You're not? But you said Redhead, Stubborn, Fiery attitude, Competitive. Eris is all that." "Well I'm not attracted to Eris. AT ALL. Please don't ever say or even think of that again. Please. For the sake of my sanity." Gwyn sighed in relief. "Sorry, I assumed Wrong." But then she tensed again. "But then, if not Eris, then..." She trailed off. If he wasn't attracted to Eris, then who else was it? Redheads? Lucien? Az stood up and held her arms. "Gwyn. Gwyn look at me." She looked up at him with weary eyes. "Can you think of a better Redhead? A stubborn, competitive, fierce one? She's fearless and strong." Gwyn scrunched her nose in thought. A she, was it Vassa? He flicked her nose. "She's a Valkyrie Gwyn." A Valkyrie? There weren't many new ones other than her, Emerie and Nesta, only about two or three. She looked around to see if there were any redheads in them. Az rubbed his hands on his face. "Mother's sake Gwyn,

its YOU." Her eyes shot to his in disbelief. He liked HER? "I- you, me?" She pointed a finger to herself. "You like me?" Azriel was furiously blushing red, he rubbed the back of his neck giving her a sided grin. "Yeah...that's what I'm saying..." Gwyn thought she was going to burst with all the emotions. "I-" Before she could say anything else Eris walked up to them. "Break over yet Shadowsinger?" He smirked. Gwyn growled, literally growled and stepped in front of Az. "Stay away from him Eris, find someone else to play fight. If I see you anywhere near him or talking to him, I swear to the mother, I will rip your throat out." Eris took a step back at her promised violence. "Hiding behind a female, Scared of losing Spymaster?" Gwyn took a step at him, she was certain she'd show Eris hell today. "Leave us alone Eris. I've scored my best win today." He said, looking at Gwyn fondly and putting a hand on her shoulder. Eris snorted and left muttering something to himself. "So..., are we going to talk about how adorable you are when you're jealous and angry? Especially over Eris?" Az teased her with a huge grin and happy eyes "I have no idea what you're talking about." Gwyn shrugged in charming irreverence. His gaze darkened as he looked into her ocean eyes, "You never finished what you were saying before asshole Eris butted in?" Gwyn gave him a soft smile before reaching up to his collar and pulling him down so she could kiss him. She pecked his lips once slightly before letting go and grinning at him while she walked away, leaving Az to process what happened and blush furiously like a teenager. He watched Gwyn walk away in victory. Mother, this female never failed to amaze him, And he was certain that this wouldn't be the last time. For the first time in five centuries, Az found hope. Found himself looking forward for the next day, and the rest of his life. Something sparked in his chest at the thought, A smile unconciously made way to his lips, like every time he thought of Gwyn; and this time, he didnt make to erase it. He'd let it for the world to see, the happiness Gwyneth Berdara brought to his life.

It's not about them talking exactly, but this seemed more fun to write😅

I tried! Not sure if it was good enough, but I've never really tried writing from Gwyn's POV.

Feedback, suggestions and other ideas always welcome!

#gwynriel #acotar #acosf #azriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel x gwyn #gwyn x azriel #gwyn #acosf headcannon #headcanon #eris vanserra

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marauderspog · 3 years

Note

I could go with knowing Regulus' birthday tho. Trying to make it up with astrology and funky number pseudoscience is fun but you know. :D

There’s a lot of dates for his birthday in the fandom so I thought I’d take a stab at working it out.

His birthday has to be between September 1960 and August 1961 to work with him being canonically a year below the Marauders.

Regulus Black - Birthday Headcanons

WARNING: I KNOW NOTHING OF ASTRONOMY, ASTROLOGY OR ANY OTHER STAR RELATED THING. I KNOW MATHS , LOGIC AND MARAUDERS HEADCANONS THO, SO LETS GO

~ 1st September 1960 ~

Young Regulus and Sirius being annoyed that Reggie is only just in the year below

‘Mother, can’t Reggie just come to school early?’

Sirius really did not want to go to Hogwarts on his first day, because it would mean leaving Reggie alone on his birthday

They both got up really early to sneak outside, look at the stars and let Reggie open his present

Later that day, it was just him and Kreacher so they had a little tea party to celebrate not that his parents would ever acknowledge his birthday

Birthday party on the Hogwarts Express every year after that

~ 26th September 1960 ~

Regulus is the heart of the lion headcanon one!

His birthday is half a year away from James, and James will never let him live it down

‘Sorry babe, you can drink when your older’

‘I’m only fucking 6 months younger than you, and bloody taller, you prick’

One of the oldest in his year and basically a parent to the younger years, and helping calm them down when some older years pick on them

~ 25th December 1960 ~

His parents celebrate neither his birthday nor Christmas so it was just the Black cousins and Kreacher celebrating on that day when they were younger

When Hogwarts came around, the Marauders found about Regulus’ birthday around fifth year, cut to all of them staying at school over the Christmas break that year

The Great Hall was decorated with tinsel and a birthday banner, and Reggie almost broke into tears

Started calling it ‘Regmas’ as a joke, but it stuck

Reggie finally got to experience both a Christmas and a birthday and he couldn’t be happier

The next year, there was some presents from certain Hogwarts professors besides the familiar wrapping of Reggie’s favourite house elf

All house elves are invited to the birthday party

James kept making mistletoe jokes until the girls trick him into getting under it with Reggie, let’s just say they were blushing for hours after

~ 31st December 1960 ~

Born at around 11PM on the 31st so he’s barely born in 1960

Attends a Marauders New Year party during his fifth year and keeps smiling to himself because it’s the first birthday he’s been with more than two people

Sirius gets drunk and tells everyone how happy he is that his baby brother is growing up

Drunk Marauders sing Harry Birthday and Reggie almost cries of happiness

So many party games, including truth or dare where James ends up confessing

‘Prongs, kiss the hottest person in the room’

‘Sirius...’

‘I’m flattered, but I love Moony’

‘Ew, no mate, no offence, but I was gonna ask if you’d kill me if I kissed Reggie?’

‘Oh go ahead- WAIT, REGGIE?! THAT’S MY BABY BROTHER!’

‘Ignore him, please go ahead, love’

~ 28th February 1961 ~

Wanted it to be 29th of February but sadly 1961 is not a leap year, so this is an adapted version of that idea

Reggie being born at midnight on the 28th, so him and Sirius can never work out when to celebrate

On leap years, they’re so fucking confused about when to celebrate since they barely ever are allowed to celebrate at home

Reggie just pretends that his birthday has already gone when anyone asks to save them the trouble

Even when they weren’t speaking, Sirius makes sure to send a letter to Reggie at midnight on the 1st, to remind his brother that he’s always there

Most years Reggie just sneaks out of his dorm on his birthday to hang out with the house elves at midnight

One time he bumped into James, so it became a tradition for them to spend the night laughing and chatting in the kitchen or library

James just likes seeing Reggie comfortable and happy

~ 27th March 1961 ~

Regulus is the heart of the lion headcanon 2!

Birthday is the same day as James’

Sirius makes jokes that his two second favourite people share a birthday (the first is obviously Remus)

James and Reggie alternate what they do on their birthday, but usually end the day cuddled up on James’ bed talking about quidditch

After James graduates, Regulus is invited round for their birthday (as well as all their friends obviously)

Euphemia and Fleamont absolutely love Reggie, they buy him presents and invite him to come over more often after telling him many embarrassing stories about James while James blushes

~ Any Date in May 2061 ~

According to things I’ve seen please don’t quote me on this Regulus is most visible in May

Birthday stargazing with James using cheesy lines and Regulus reciting facts he was taught as a kid as they cuddle under a blanket

Birthday dates to Hogsmead with James, getting many sweets to share in the library later that day

Birthday quidditch matches where James promises not to go easy on Reggie and fucking panics one year when Reggie falls off his broom and ends up in the hospital wing

James just freaks out and refused to leave Reggie’s side, even after being told everything was fine

James and their friends end up bringing duvets and pillows down so they don’t have to leave Reggie alone

Remus and Lily find a spell to project muggle films on the wall for all of them to watch Regulus, Sirius and Mel are fascinated

~ 31st August 1961 ~

No one knowing when Regulus’ birthday is because it’s already happened the day before they go back to school

James is outraged when he finds out that the Marauders have never been able to celebrate his birthday in school

So they start making the first day of school Reggie’s honorary birthday with a giant sleepover in the Gryffindor common room

So many baby Black jokes, which Reggie fucking hates

‘Sirius I’m fucking taller than you, if anyone’s the baby it’s you’

First time they celebrate his birthday outside of school, James takes him to see a quidditch match, then to the local pub to see the rest of their friends, and finally back to their flat for Reggie to read the books he got for his birthday

~ Literally Any Date From September 1st to August 31st ~

I tried to find a correlation between November 3rd (Sirius’ birthday) and the Sirius star

Couldn’t really find anything (again I don’t know astronomy so please feel free to prove me wrong if you do!)

Only thing I saw was that Sirius is apparently more visible in Winter, but November is technically in Autumn so wasn’t really anything with that

By that logic, She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named could have made his birthday any date with no reasoning but we’re not gonna accept that

So any date for his birthday is acceptable!

SPEECH - SIRIUS, JAMES, REGULUS

Feel free to comment which birthday you prefer, even if it isn’t one listened! And sorry if I got some astronomy things wrong, please correct me if I’m wrong and I will happily edit this post accordingly!

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beomeli · 3 years

Text

A normal October night || C.SB

Warning: mention of drinking, underaged drinking, mild swearing

Genre: Angst, unrequited love, heartbreak

Non-idol!Soobin X gn!Reader

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

As the cold night of october settled with beautiful autumn leaves and quiet streets, one specific house didn't bother keeping the nice aesthetic at peace.

People were dancing, drinking, making out, all while loud music played in the background. They didn’t care about the complaining, they only wanted to make as much possible of their youthful days. Even though the house was fairly big, every space was crowded with drunk people having the time of their lives. Making the rooms feel small and claustrophobic. As for you, you were standing alone towards a white wall.

Your best friends had convinced you to come, and since one of them kept on insisting, you couldn’t do much but to agree. That one was Choi Yeonjun, an excited extrovert that always acted out on whatever came to mind, as for the other.. his name was Choi Soobin, the more quiet and calm one. Even though they were different personality wise, they complemented each other very well. Always seeming to get along and joke around, Yeonjun pulling stupid antics and Soobin laughing alongside. they were very good best friends. And they were your best friends.

Your first encounter with Yeonjun almost felt unreal. You being a first year and him being one year above, saw you quietly sitting alone outside the school building. you were eating your lunch by yourself next to the school gymnasium. And as he walked past you towards the gym, he couldn’t help but walk up and greet you.

Ever since that day you've been great friends. Even though you had different classes that also were on different floors you managed to hang out with him quite often. And after a few weeks Yeonjun introduced you to his so called other best friend. That person was Soobin. A freshman just as you, who was in a different class, hence why you hadn’t talked nor seen him before. But still, you fell for him, hard. Not only was he intelligent, funny and kind, he was extremely beautiful. His whole demeanor and appearance was breathtaking. You couldn’t help but take notice at his every feature, slowly ascending into a rabbit hole with nothing to stop you. The more you talked to him the more your love grew. And the fact that he actually saw you as his best friend made your heart skip.

You had hoped for this party to be a great time for you and your friends to dance and have fun. But as soon as you stepped through the wooden door and into the sea off people, you understood that, that wouldn't be the case. Yeonjun made his way towards the kitchen talking to his friend from other schools. Soobin on the other hand, awkwardly made his way towards the living room, trying to keep a low profile. You knew Soobin wasn’t very fond of parties, hence the biggest reason he tried so hard convincing you to come.

“Come on Y/N, I don’t want to take care of Yeonjun alone! Plus, I really like your company..” his words stuck with you, he enjoyed your company? He wanted to spend time with you? You couldn’t help but repeat his phrase in your head. Fixating on every word he said, happy that he wanted to have you around him.

You followed behind closely, trying to not bump into all too many people as the rooms were tightly crowded with all the drunken people. The smell of alcohol being unavoidable. Soobin found an empty wall and leaned towards it, inspecting everyone. While you closely snuck your way past all the people and also leaned toward that white wall.

The music was even louder, the atmosphere humid, as all the drunk sweaty people were jumping up and down to the music. But you couldn’t help but feel an comfortable aura as Soobin stood close to you, smiling a bit to himself. Your heart skipped a beat.

"It's not even 8 pm and people are already wrecked." You started casually, as you looked at all the drunk people roaming around, dancing.

"Yeah, And in about 20 minutes, Yeonjun will become one of them" Soobin answered, looking over at you with a small smile. You let out a chuckle at his funny remark, looking up at him and seeing that beautiful smile of his. Your cheeks felt warm as a smile crept up on your lips.

"Oh well, good thing there's two of us cause we all know that Yeonjun is a two-man-job" you replied, which made Soobin let out a little laugh. The beautiful sound ringing so perfectly in your ears.

"Yeah.." he looked back at the people, keeping that smile. Your heart skipped a beat, and slowly, you felt the urge creeping up on you. You wanted to confess. You knew confessing in a party with music blasting and people being all crazy wasn’t the most romantic, but you couldn’t hold back these feelings anymore. this was the time. You wanted to tell him how you felt.

"Soobin I have something to tell you.." you felt nervous, as your voice evidently shook a bit. your heartbeat speed up, as small sweat drops formed on your forehead. This was more nervwrecking than you thought.

"What is it Y/N?” the way he said your name so softly and how he kept that smile on his beautiful lips. You loved it.

Before you could continue your sentence, a sudden distraction occurred when someone accidentally bumped right into Soobin, falling head first into his arms. Quickly, he grabbed the person by the arms, trying to help the person in question finding their balance. Before you knew it, they looked up. She was stunning, absolutely gorgeous. You almost blushed when you saw her beautiful features complimenting her in every way.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry!" She was evidently embarrassed, her voice not sounding slurred or anything, she was probably a bit more on the sober side. She looked apologetic as she kept apologizing for literally launching at Soobin, but Soobin was kind. Giving her that dimpled smile and telling her that everything was fine.

"No it's okay!" Soobin quickly replied, he took a good look at the girl in front of him, even he looked stunned at her beauty, you noticed a small blush forming on his cheeks. You were paralyzed.

"I was just trying to get to the kitchen and suddenly someone came out of nowhere and pushed me.." the girls voice was soft, and she seemed so sweet. Soobin couldn't help but stare at her fondly, inspecting every bits of her. He was truly mesmerized.

You heart took a turn, this was the last thing you wanted. You confession directly flew out the door. There’s no way you could confess now. Maybe this was for the better..? Never had Soobin ever looked at you that way. You felt defeated.

"Don't worry. We all know being sober in a room with drunk people are bound to cause trouble." Soobin said, making the girl laugh.

"Yeah haha, they love coming out of nowhere.." She continued, and to that you were just watching intently as the girl and Soobin made conversation. It seemed so casual, like they've known each other their whole life. And you could see a faint blush on Soobin’s cheeks.

"My name is Soobin, and yours?"

"Yujin, nice to meet you Soobin" they shook hands, looking at each other with adoration. While completely ignoring you.

You couldn't handle the sight and slowly slinked your way out of the situation. Sure, meeting a new person is fine, especially if they seem as nice as her. But why did they have to ignore you? You were standing right there, watching their moves intently. Couldn’t you at least get a ‘hi’ or an introduction from soobin? No, your presence was too invincible.

You could feel tears pricking your eyes but you tried your hardest keeping them in. You didn't want to cause a scene and especially in front of Soobin. You didn’t come to this party for your own entertainment, you came to support Soobin. If he was happy without your company, then you had to accept it.

Slowly you made your way to a new bare wall, a bit afar from Soobin and Yujin, you could still observe them talking. And so you did, occasionally looking down at your phone and texting a few people. You wanted to go to Yeonjun but he was dancing crazy on the dance floor which you had expected. so you just decided to keep leaning towards that white wall. Luckily, you had your phone, you could distract yourself easily by playing on it for a few hours. Still, the growing feeling of sadness didn’t ease of your mind. You were disappointed to say the least, this was suppose to be a night you confessed. But everything changed so quickly, in a heartbeat.

As time ticked, Soobin and Yujin were still talking. for the first time in a long time, you looked over at them. surprised to see Soobin holding a red cup. When did he get that drink? I didn't even know Soobin liked alcohol.. You shrugged it off, knowing that Soobin is a responsible person and you were just too tired to even think straight.

Quietly, you tapped on Soobin’s shoulder, he looked down at you with surprise.

"Oh hey Y/N. What is it?" His voice was a bit harsh, as if he didn't want to get interrupted talking to Yujin at this time. It made your heart sink, you just wanted to get out of there quickly.

"Hey Soobin soo,” you paused and looked up at him more clearly, he was anticipating your sentence, clearly wanting to go back to whatever him and Yujin talked about. Eager to keep hearing whatever she had to say.

“..I'm really tired and I think I wanna go home now so.."

"Oh.." he didn’t know what else to say, but it was enough for you to understand that you would leave this party alone. You felt you hear crumble, tears pricking your eyes. He had promised to walk you home that night, since he knew it was quite a walk and being a Saturday night it might be dangerous. But now you knew that walking home together were no longer an option. You nodded and made your way out the crashed house, ascending into the dark streets of Seoul.

As soon as you had turned a block, tears fell down you soft red cheeks, and a quiet sobbing followed by that. Thinking back, it was good that you never confessed, cause it was obviously one-sided all along. It was clear that he liked Yujin. You couldn't stop feeling such pain in your chest as you thought back to that scene of him and her talking, just letting you stand by all alone. How he never once, looked over his shoulder to see if you still were there, or even hesitating when he noticed your small disappointed face when he waved you off. He said he enjoyed your company, and he’s suppose to be your best friend. How could one girl make everything change so drastically?

Now you were walking home, alone. Crying, freezing and heartbroken.

You were angry at Soobin for letting this happen, but also angry at yourself. For thinking that you even had a chance with him in the first place.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Finally you came home without incident. You locked the door and slipped of you shoes before sluggishly making your way towards your bedroom. The crying had stopped now, but the depressive aura was still there. And so you fell onto your bed letting out a loud sigh.

After playing with your phone for almost 3 hours at the party, it was dead, so you plugged it in and made your way towards the shower. It was nice letting some steam off as you took your time in the warm shower.

You hair now wrapped around in a towel, along with you dressed in a pajamas. You made your way back towards the bed, reaching for your phone on the nightstand and turning it on. Your screen flashes the notification box, showing 5 missed calls and 11 messages from Soobin. You were chocked, why had he so desperately tried contacting you? Quickly you dialed him back.

He picked up immediately.

"Y/N! Aahh, Finally you picked up!” He sounded hysterical, but you heard how his voice tried calmed down, trying to compose his breathing again.

“Where are you? I thought we were going home together." Had he forgotten the whole ‘I want to go home?’ Conversation? This was ridiculous.

"Soobin. I told you that I wanted to go home and you just told me goodbye before continuing talking to that girl.. so I went home alone." You couldn't believe that he actually forgot that conversation because he was so invested in Yujin, which only made you more upset.

Soobin was quiet, probably trying to find his words. After a while, you could hear a tired sigh.

"I- I'm so sorry Y/N. God, I'm such an idiot. Please let me make it up to you.."

You could hear regret in his voice, he felt guilty for sure. but still that sourness didn't disappear,

"I can come over and we can watch a movie or have a sleepover.." you heard the desperate attempt to make his situation better but only silence fell from your lips.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now. I'm really tired so I'm going to bed but, but I guess I'll see you around." You were harsh in your tone, just like he was an hour ago. And to that you hung up before he could even answer you. For some it may seem harsh, but to you it felt like a good start to try forgetting him.

Cause you were now a 100% that being with him would never happen.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Early morning came, and you felt the sun shining on your skin. It was a nice October morning, one that you’d have the urge to sit by a cafe and watch the beautiful autumn leaves flow by as the wind drifted them away. The apartment was quiet. And you comfortable woke up to the sound of the city waking up. As you made your way toward the kitchen, wanting to get started on some breakfast. The doorbell rang. Quickly you made your way to the wooden door. Turning the handle without checking who it was first.

"Soobin?" Was the first word that came out, you were chocked to meet eyes with your tall friend. He looked tired, had soft eyebags and messier hair, but he stilled looked stunning. You imagined if that would be how Soobin looked like waking up next to him. Feeling his soft skin and touches.

"Hey can I come in?" Soobin looked at you with sweet eyes while holding up a bag of snacks. You knew this was his way of redemption, trying to make it up to you.

Before you could answer Soobin spoke up again,

"Please, I really want to make it up to you.." his voice still calm, but showing so much emotions. And his eyes pleading with guilt. You couldn't resist him. You were close caving in, inviting him inside and letting him win over you once more. But you had to refuse,

"I'm sorry Soobin, but I'm busy today.." you didn't look up at him to see his reaction, but you noticed how he let out a loud sigh.

"Okay then.. well you can just call me whenever you're free." And with that he set the bag of snacks down and made his way from your door. You promptly closed the door behind him and sighed to yourself. You didn't want to reject him like that, but you also couldn't handle being so hopelessly in love with him. This the best way to dismiss your feelings, in better words. Stop loving him.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

"Hey Y/N! I’m waiting for you by the ice-cream store already!" Yeonjun’s positive tone made you feel better.

"Okay sure, I’ll be there in 10 minutes." A faint chuckle let out from your lips.

"Okay! Bye!" And to that you hung up the phone.

It has gone by a few weeks since that party. And your terms with Soobin wasn't the best at the moment. He had stopped trying to make it up to you, which seemed like a good thing, but he started seeing Yujin more and more. Apperantly they exchanged phone numbers and they've been going out together. Jealousy overcame you, you didn't want this to happen. But still, you can’t control how Soobin felt towards other, this was your problem to bare. Your selfishness was the reasoning for this. So you had to make up for it by yourself.

You quickly slipped on your shoes before heading out the door.

After a 5 minute walk you saw the mentioned Ice-cream shop that you and Yeonjun wanted to try out. Yeonjun stood outside the shop, tall and handsome, and along side him was... Soobin.

You cursed Yeonjun for not telling you that Soobin also were invited, you were in the middle of operation-forget-Soobin and it was impossible if Soobin was in your presence. You knew that as soon as you met his beautiful eyes you were bound cave in once more. But there was no turning back now, Yeonjun spotted you and loudly shouted for you to hurry. And so you did. Soobin looked at you, his eyes inspecting your every move. you could feel your heartbeat quicken. This was awkward, you haven't answered any of Soobin’s texts or phone calls and now you were on your merry way to meet him face to face.

"I'm so excited, I've been craving Ice-cream the whole day!" Yeonjun put his arm around you before happily entering the shop. It was a lot of people there, hence it being a new place. You stood at the queue and waited. Soobin was behind you. you could feel his gaze watch over you as you tried your best to ignore him. His presence was unbearable, and your heartbeat kept quickening.

Slowly he leaned closer to you and bent down towards your ear.

"You look nice today.." his tone was sweet and soft. Your breath hitched at his action. Dammit Soobin. You tried your best to continue ignoring him, instead looking over at Yeonjun and tried starting a conversation.

“Should I get Oreos or caramel as a topping?”

......

After 10 minutes you all had finally gotten the ice-cream you craved and stood outside the shop in the nice October sunlight. Digging in immediately. Yeonjun enjoyed his ice-cream loudly, complimenting it every second he got. Soobin on the other hand was gentle and licked small portions, not making any sound at all. It impressed you that such different people can become such good friends.

There was an awkward silence between the three of you, which only you and Soobin noticed. Yeonjun was too invested in his ice-cream to even notice the tension you and Soobin had built up.

It was uncomfortable, feeling Soobin’s eyes pierce onto you, trying to get your attention. At this point you knew he was desperate for winning you back. He missed his best friend. But you didn't oblige, you kept the determination to ignore him and stared at the ice-cream, trying to wave off his intensive stare.

Yeonjun finished of his ice-cream with a loud sigh and looked at you with a big smile.

"Best mint chocolate ice-cream I've ever had!" He chuckled as he made his way towards the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" You asked quickly, he pointed towards the inside and mumbled about tissues. Before you could intervene and follow him inside he closed the door behind him.

Making you and Soobin stand outside there all alone.

Curse you Yeonjun for being so ignorant, there's no way you can make it out of this situation without awkward tension.

You let out a loud sigh and looked down at the ground. Continuing to lick your ice-cream. Soobin was quiet, but he kept his stare. You just wanted this situation to end as quick as possible.

"Y/N, I know you're angry at me.. I know I screwed up.." he started, you could hear his voice cracking a bit. But you didn't dare to look up at his expression. You kept listening,

"But please, listen to me when I tell you that I am genuinely sorry. I miss you, you know.." his tone was desperate, he truly meant every word. You knew him long enough to know how he sounds like when he's at the point of breaking.. At this point, you couldn’t take it anymore. The feeling of neglecting everything you have inside your heart was breaking you slowly, and you just couldn't take it.

You were quiet for a bit, but you let out a small sigh before starting,

"Soobin, I just feel so betrayed and disappointed.. you left me.. because of this girl, like this new girl was more important than your.. best friend.." you sounded so selfish and pathetic as your strong voice ended with a quiet whimpering as tears prickled your eyes. Soobin looked confused, his lips were trembling, so were his hands. But slowly he reached out to your hand. His soft touch feeling your cold hand. He held onto it and started caressing it with his thumb.

"I am sorry.." his voice was low, and he cursed at himself for not giving you a better respond, but he didn't know what to say. For being such a cool headed guy, he never knew what to do in situations like these. When someone was deeply hurt and the reasoning for it, was him.

As he looked down at you, something in his mind wasn't adding up. He still couldn't put a finger down why you were so disappointed as you were. Sure, the situation at hand was not something to just look past, but your demeanor and reaction was a bit different for a thing like this.

"Y/N, I am truly sorry.. I'm sorry for leaving you, ignoring you and forgetting you.." you just nodded as a response, keeping your head low.

“I will never do that again, ever. You are so important to me, and I don’t want to hurt you again.” He once again sounded desperate, but you knew his words were genuine. He really did treasure your friendship. Before you could respond, he started,

"But I need to know.., is there something else that I've done towards you?" His question took you by surprise. You knew Soobin wouldn't be satisfied with nothing but the truth. So you opted the only option left, It was time to say it. Your voice was trembling, and you slowly looked up at his eyes, tears prickling at your own. Slowly you opened your mouth, wording.

"Soobin.. I'm in love with you.."

you voice was shaking, and your heart at this point was about to burst. His eyes widened at the statement, and he let go of your hand.

It fell quiet between the two of you, only the city ambiance filling the quietness between you.

Say something dammit.. this was nervwrecking. He was just staring at you with wide eyes, not expecting to hear such deep words coming from you. You couldn’t help but fiddle with your fingers, waiting and waiting for his answer.

Just say something! Anything..!

He was quiet, shocked. You couldn’t take it anymore. You spoke up, tears now falling.

"I know you don't like me back, because of the way you.. look at her, I just know.." Soobin was quiet, his mind was in chaos trying to register and analyze what you just said.

"I'm.. sorry.." his voice was trembling, just like yours. He once again cursed himself for not giving you a better answer, here you are spilling you heart out, being vulnerable. And all he could do was say sorry. idiot.

you gave him a small nodded, as a appreciative smile crept up on your lips. You were grateful that the answer was clear as day, and that you could finally move on. You backed away a bit.

"It was nice while it lasted, you were a good friend Soobin.. and I hope you treat her well.." you couldn’t be there anymore, there was no reason to keep seeing that face he made. He looked shocked, almost in disbelief. It was too much to bare.

you turned around and threw what was left of the ice-cream into the trash bin. Before quickly walking away, leaving Soobin alone. He knew following you was pointless, it would just make the situation at hand worse. But he couldn’t help but to feel guilt and regret creeping up on him. Why couldn’t he say what he really thought..?

Yeonjun finally came out after a couple of minutes.

"Sorry for making you wait so long, I went to the restroom as well soo.." he trailed off when he noticed that you had left.

"Where did Y/N go.? Did they also go to the restroom?” Yeonjun looked over at Soobin, who was now looking down onto the pavement.

"They didn't feel well and went home.." Soobin said, a very blunt and obvious lie. Yeonjun sensed it, but he didn’t want to further question, this wasn’t his business. A loud sigh escaped his lips.

"That’s too bad, I really like hanging out with them.." Yeonjun was visibly upset. Scratching his head roughly.

"Yeah, Me too..”

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

A/N:

God I absolutely love pure angst, and I’ve always had a thing for unrequited love. Idk why

I wanted to end this in a sad note once again, hope you don’t mind :,)

I’ll probably do a more fluff next time and I was leaning against Yeonjun or Hueningkai. But I’m not sure.

If you have any ideas or suggestions, go ahead and send them in my ask box! I’d love to hear your ideas!

Either way, I want to say thank you for all the amazing response I got from Rainy Days. I was so nervous when posting but you all are so sweet!

Ty for reading, Byeee❤️

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