Smile for Me | Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Request: hello! it’s my first time requesting on your blog.. is it okay if I ask for nat with reader who hides their smile because their insecure of how it looks.
feel free to take your time writing this, I don’t mind waiting :)))
thank you, have a great day!! <3
Word Count: 1.4k
Content Warnings: fluff, talks of being insecure, like two swear words, probably bad writing cause i am a bit rusty
A/N: thank you for requesting anon! i am so, so sorry this took so long but i hope you like it <3 this might not be my best work because i am very rusty and haven't wrote anything in a bit but i hope you enjoy it either way
Smiling was natural, everyone done it, and usually no one really thought about it whilst they were doing it. You just lived in the moment, smiling at something that had brought you joy. It was whimsical, in a way. But it wasn't like that to you, though. No, it was actually the one thing you tried to avoid the most. Even in situations when you were at your most happiest, ranging from getting top grades in your exams to the day Natasha had asked you out on a date, a smile was rarely exchanged in those moments, or it was hidden behind your hand.
It was hard when something so simple was the root of your insecurities. Every time you caught yourself smiling, you covered your smile with your hand. It was an instinct at this point. Either that, or you would just avoid smiling altogether. It wasn’t as if you were trying to keep up some mysterious persona - you just really, really hated your smile. A lot.
Tiny remarks in middle school had started it. Words said by children that shouldn’t be that serious because you were all kids instead stuck with you for your entire life. Sticks and stones do break your bones, but words will still hurt. They still cause bleeding wounds, but because you can’t see them, society deems them unimportant. Which is why you’ve not told anyone about your insecurity, you just let them poke fun, because the logical part of you knows that it’s a stupid thing to be insecure about, but you can’t help it.
Natasha, of course, had noticed. But she’s never pried, thankfully. She understands having secrets that you keep under lock and key. She has them too. It’s a bit hard not to notice when someone hardly smiles, but somehow she notices that there’s something more to it. Having a spy as a girlfriend, one who is the best spy in the world no doubt, means that any of your secrets aren’t really secrets. You simultaneously love and hate it.
“Why do you never smile?”
“Why do you always pry into people’s business? And I do smile.”
Tony shrugs halfheartedly at your jab, a tiny smirk on his face as he takes a sip of his drink. You were thrown off guard by his unprompted question, not expecting it to happen when you were just sat eating dinner with the rest of the team. The rest of the team who had, unfortunately, went silent after the words left Tony’s mouth.
You took an awkward bite of your food, trying to focus on the taste instead of the eyes boring into your soul.
“Leave them alone,” Natasha snaps, but there’s no actual bite behind it yet.
“Hey now,” Tony raises a hand placatingly, “I’m not trying to be nosey, not at all. Well, actually, I kind of am, but for good reason. They rarely smile! Have you not noticed? And if they do, I always catch them covering their mouth! Have they ever fully smiled around you, Romanoff?” - The only response he gets is a glare - “No? Christ, they’re dating you! Don’t you think it’s a bit odd? I-”
You cut him off, “Just finish your food, Stark.”
Tony, seemingly unable to realize when you’re seriously not in the mood continues on undeterred, “Listen, I get if you’re trying to be all tough and that. But you can still smile! You’re still pretty intimidating anyway. To the newbies, obviously. Not me.”
“I just don’t smile that often, Stark. Got a problem with that?” You get out through gritted teeth, setting your knife and fork down on your half-eaten plate. You aren’t very hungry anymore. The ravaging appetite you felt before dinner had quickly dissipated, and it wasn’t because you were full.
Natasha sends you a concerned glance but you ignore it. You ignore everyone’s glances. For superheroes, they were horrifically bad at pretending they weren't staring at you.
“Oh, come on,” Tony leans back in his chair, clearly exasperated, “unless you look incredibly hideous, your teeth are falling out or you have a shit ton of cavities, which I doubt, I don’t get why you hardly smile! Just smile for us this once, and don't cover it!" He urged you on, and it was your final straw.
You abruptly stood up from the table, your chair making a harsh sound across the floor as it was pushed back. Once again ignoring Natasha's glance, you walk as fast as you can out of the room and making a beeline towards your shared room with Nat. You know she'll probably follow you soon after, but you'd take a minute alone if you could.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, you ran your hands across your face and let out a groan. You were being so stupid. Tony was right. It's not a big deal at all, you're the one making it a big deal. All over a couple comments a few kids carelessly threw your way years ago in middle school. Insecurities were so stupid, why couldn't you just stop being insecure? You were an Avenger, for Christ's sake, and the one thing that defeats you is your own goddamn smile.
After a couple of minutes had passed, there was a knock on the door. Unsurprisingly, Nat's voice filtered through, "Y/N? Can I come in?" Somehow, she managed to hear your barely coherent mumble of a response, and the door gently opened seconds later.
"Don't listen to Tony," the redhead spoke softly, "he doesn't know when to stop."
You let out a mirthless chuckle, "Yeah, I know."
Natasha didn't reply, instead slowly walking over to you and kneeling in front of you. You catch her eye before quickly glancing away.
"Look at me,"
You do, and she reaches out to take ahold of your hands that were previously lying limp in your lap, "Why do you always cover your beautiful smile?" It was a gentle question, the redhead treading lightly on what she knows is a sensitive topic for you.
"Because it's not beautiful," your voice is small. It's the first time you've ever actually spoken about your insecurity out loud.
"I bet it is. What makes you think it isn't?"
"People were saying shit 'bout it in middle school. Words hurt, you know." It sounded pathetic, you knew it did. You half expected Natasha to laugh at you, and anyone else probably would, because you were a grown adult, but of course Natasha didn't laugh. She never would.
"Well," she lets go of one of your hands to reach out and cup your cheek, her thumb brushing over your bottom lip, "those people can go fuck themselves."
A surprised giggle leaves you at the bluntness of her tone. She smirks before continuing, "My angel is gorgeous, and I know their smile is just as beautiful. Come on, you wanna let me see it? Smile for me."
Despite her words, a small part of you still didn't want to smile in front of her. Years of covering it and hiding it was obviously engrained into you, no matter how hard you wanted to try and stop it. So, you shake your head.
"Well," Natasha sighs, "I guess I'll just have to subject you to a month of Steve's cooking. Hopefully you won't die, but if you do, I'll make sure to make your funeral the best funeral ever."
That made you laugh then, and a smile made its way onto your face. The hand that Natasha wasn't holding instinctively raised to cover it, but the spy grabbed ahold of it before you could.
"See?" Natasha smiles then too, "beautiful."
That makes you smile more, and you don't move to cover it this time. You fight the insecurities that worm its way into your thoughts, you were done being insecure about your smile. You were fed up of hiding it. Natasha plants a soft kiss on your cheek then, before whispering into your ear, "If you gave me the names of those people..."
You let out a shocked laugh, hitting her arm playfully. "No. Murder is bad."
"I never said I would murder them!" She gasps, "Just a nice little talk. That's all."
Shaking your head in amusement, you pull Natasha into a hug, "I love you."
"I love you too."
God, what you would do for this woman. You would always smile for her from this day forward. No more hiding it, especially not from Natasha.
tags: @sheneonromanoff @olicity-boo @r4nd0mgir1 @tigerlillyruiz @dj-bynum3718 @lovelyy-moonlight
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