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mayajadewrites · 2 months

Text

I Wish I Hated You (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

summary: You don't do second chances. Especially after you gave your heart to Levi Ackerman, and he decided to throw it away so the next person has to repair the damage. Will Levi put his ego aside and finally admit his feelings for you are far deeper than you imagined? Or is a second chance out of the question?

warnings: eventual smut, this is a slow burn

ao3

C H A P T E R F O U R : B E N E F I T S

It's been over 2 months now since your breakup. 2 months of trying to heal, 2 months of trying to rebuild yourself and the idea that you don't need Levi to survive.

You've started to get dressed again - making sure you spend time on self care and actually caring about your appearance. Work has been the same, the coffee shop has become one of your safe havens honestly. It's like your worries fade away when you walk through the door and you can live a different life than the one outside.

You're about to clock out from your opening shift when Hange strolls in.

"Hi my love!" Hange leaned on the counter, tapping her fingers. "I have someone I want to set you up with."

"Hange..." You raised your eyebrow. "I don't need to be set up with anyone."

"You need to get laid." Hange doubled down. "If anything, you'll have a little fun. What's wrong with that!"

You stare at Hange for a moment. You haven't thought of laying in a bed with anyone else besides Levi. You can't imagine someone else touching your skin, caressing your curves, taking care of you in every way to make sure you reach that high.

It has to happen eventually.

"Fine. Who is it?"

"Great! It's this cute intern at my job. He seems fun and young."

"I'm 29 years old Hange, please tell me he's old enough to drink."

"Oh yes of course! He's 23."

You press your palm to your forehead. "I don't want anything serious. I would want just something casual."

"Well then hopefully he doesn't fall in love with you! Are you done with work?"

"I am." You slide your apron off, pressing buttons on the register to clock out. "Do you want something before I leave?"

"I'll never say no to coffee."

Hange has the intern text you, turns out his name is Jean. Hange sent a picture of him to you before he text you - he's not Levi, that's for sure. He's cute though. He has light brown hair with brown eyes to match. He's a lot taller than Levi, which means he's a lot taller than you.

Jean seems to be on the same type of time as you. He doesn't want anything serious, only fun. He's funny and sends you good morning and good night texts. Seemingly the perfect friend with benefits.

Jean invites you out to a club on Friday night with him and his friends, which includes Mikasa. This eases your anxiety since you'll know at least one person there.

Jean: It's all my work friends. I'm sure you know most of them.

You: It'll be nice to see them. Is Hange going?

Jean: I don't think Hange ever says no to drinks.

When Friday rolls around, you cause a tornado in your closet looking for an outfit. You pick out a lacy corset top with jeans that hug your curves, and a pair of square toe black heels. Your hair is styled half up, half down with some of your hair framing your face. You add glittery lipgloss as the cherry on top of the look, carefully tracing over your lips as you look in the mirror.

This is the first time you're actually hanging out with Jean. It's also the first time in a long time that you're going clubbing.

You take a picture in your full length mirror and send it to Hange for approval.

Hange: Holy SHIT!! You look hot! Jean won't be able to keep his hands off you. Be prepared to take him home ;)

You: That's why I took an everything shower. Lol.

You grab your purse and call your uber to head to the club. It's 10:30 PM - Jean said he was going to be there around 10 and you wanted to be late but not too late to where he thinks he's being stood up.

You walk into the club and immediately spot Hange at the bar dancing like no one is watching. You smile to yourself as you tap her on her shoulder.

"You made it!!" Hange practically jumped on you to hug you. "Jean is right there." She pointed.

You make your way to where Jean was standing, which was in a circle with Mikasa, Eren, and a few others.

"Hey!" Jean gave you a light hug, his eyes tracking your movements. "You look amazing."

"Thank you." You smile before looking at Mikasa. "Hi you!"

"You never come out!" Mikasa said. "I'm so happy Jean got you out. Eren's grabbing me a drink, he'll love to see you!"

Jean introduced you to the rest of the group: Armin, Connie, Sasha, Reiner and Annie.

Jean got you a drink and stood close to you as the music blared. The group talked about work projects coming up and how stressful they are. Jean's hand snaked around your waist, pulling you a bit closer to him. He smells good - he definitely bought a strong cologne for this occasion. You lean into him, letting your ass graze over his pelvis.

You both start to move to the beat, now Jean's face is in your neck. He kisses your skin gently as his hips move in time with yours. The liquor starts to course through your veins, giving you more courage. You spin yourself around to face Jean, planting a kiss on his lips. His right hand lays on your cheek as he continues kissing you, his pinky moving back and forth on your skin.

You let your body mend with Jean's, letting yourself have this moment. You haven't kissed anyone but Levi in years and this new pair of lips are taking care of you. Jean is fun. Jean is happy.

You pull away for a moment to take a sip of your drink, watching Jean's eyes trail over your curves. You smile at him until you hear a familiar voice.

"Where is she?" Guess who.

"You're such a cock block." Hange rolls her eyes. "She's having FUN. Leave her alone."

"This was your idea wasn't it four eyes." His voice is getting closer. "Ah, my lovely staff."

You turn to see Levi, dressed in a grey sweater, blank pants and a pair of brand new sneakers. Erwin isn't far behind him.

"Oh, boss!" Jean waves and then puts his hand back on your hip.

Oh shit. He doesn't know you dated Levi. Did no one warn him?

Levi's eyes went straight to Jean's hand. If looks could kill, Jean would be dead.

Mikasa and Eren looked at each other - the only two besides Erwin and Hange that know of yours and Levi's relationship.

Levi's eyes fall to you and you swear you can see fire in them. You lean your ass back into Jean, letting your head fall on his chest.

"Hi Levi."

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi x reader #levi ackerman smut #attack on titan #levi ackerman fanfic #aot #levi ackerman attack on titan

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twice-inamillion · 1 year

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Chaeyoung’s BestFriend

Smut (rough sex, blow job, masturbating)

Chapter 171

It's been a week since the Momo and Chaeyoung moment. Ever since that day both for them have been particurily attached to you, especially chaeyoung. She's been waking you up with daily head. There's even times when she’s been offering her cunt as a cock warmer, helping go to sleep better during the cold nights.

Today is a Friday aftersoon and chaeyoung has asked You to take her to a cafe to meet her best friend.You agree, knowing that this would give you an excuse to visit the office and turn in somework.

You leave Chaeyoung the cafe near the JYP building and tell her to call you when she's done.

“Okay, I'll let you know when to pick me up.”

After spending a couple of hours at the office you decide to text her.

"Are you ready? I haven’t received a message from you."

"Oh yeah, sorry. I forgat to text you. I'm at my mon's house. Can you pick me up here?”

“I'm on my way."

It takes you less than thirty minutes to get to her house. You park your car on the street and begin to walk towards her house. As you are walking you see Mrs. Son, she’s trying to carry grocery bags but is struggling.

“Hello Mrs. Son. Remember me?”

“Ahh yes. You’re Chaeyoung’s friend from work.”

“Do you need some help with the bags? I’m here to pick up Chaeyoung and I’m more than happy to help.”

“You’re so sweet and thoughtful. I’ll take you up on the offer.”

Not wanting to take multiple trips you grab as many bags as you can and take them up the stairs. You were your way through the house and place them on the kitchen counter.

“Thank you so much, it’s really helpful having a strong man” as she grabs on your biceps and gives them a squeeze.

“Oh my god, they’re so big and hard” as she blushes to the fact that she touched you. “I’m sorry that I grabbed you out of nowhere.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. Hopefully Mr. Son doesn’t get jealous haha.”

“Oh stop kidding no one is going to get jealous. There is no Mr. Son who can get jealous.”

“Oh… I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind. Chaeyoung’s father hasn’t been in the picture for many years. It doesn’t bother me.”

Your feel bad for bringing up any possible negative memories so you offer to help, “if you ever need any help that’s too much for you I’m willing to stop by.”

“You’re so kind, I’ll appreciate the offer” as she’s picking away some of the groceries.

Just then you hear as the door slides wide up, “Oppa what are you doing here with my mom?”

“Be nice to your fiend, he was helping me with the groceries.”

“I’m sorry Oppa” says Chaeyoung apologetically.

“Anyways, I’ll leave you youngsters for a while, I’m going to head to the gym.” She looks at Chaeyoung and say “don’t cause any trouble for him, he’s really a sweet and helpful guy. Make sure you listen to him.”

“Yeah, Chaeyoung make sure you listen to this Oppa of yours” as you mock her.

“Don’t… it’s weird when you call yourself like that.” Chaeyoung’s mom laughs at both of your arguing and collects her bag and exits out through the front door.

You wait for the the clicking sound of the door being lock and you walk towards Chaeyoung and say “didn’t I tell you to call me when you were done? I was wondering where you were since you can’t be out by yourself.”

“I’m sorry it’s just…” Chaeyoung isn’t able to finish her sentence as she’s taken by surprise with the slap you give her on her ass.

You pick her up and carry her towards her room, open the door and throw her on the bed. She struggles to get away from you as she sees the devilish look in your eyes. “Come here, I’m going to teach you a little lesson.” “Wait… wait there..” as she’s cut off again.

You pull down her pants and underwear as well as pull down yours, revealing you semi hard cock. Your hands go to her shirt ripping it off, “you’re mine now” as you begin to play with her nipples. Chaeyoung moans to her nipples being played with and watch as her slit is getting wetter as time goes by.

Having your cock ready you pull her close to you and align yourself to her entrance. “Fuck… this little pussy is so cute, I can’t wait to split it wide open.” You press the head of your cock to her entrance and watch as her tiny cunt begins to welcome you.

“Hmm… Oppa you’re too big…” as she takes the length of your cock. You place yourself in the valedictorian sex position, trying to the reach her depths of her womb. The way her face looks seems like she’s an addict to your cock, heart shaped eyes. You begin to pound her tight little cunt, making sure that you scrape every inch of her womb. Chaeyoung’s moans begin to cover the whole room as she is enjoying every part of you.

Both of you enjoying each other, unaware of your surroundings. Little did you know that you two were not alone.

On the other side of the bathroom there was Chaeyoung’s best friend, Jeon Somi. She invited Chaeyoung to catch up since they have not seen each other for a couple of months. They both shared things that were going on with their life and how their career as idols were going. Somi was excited to share the news that she was finally going to debut as a solo artist under The Black Label. After leaving JYP she worked really hard to promote herself as an independent artist and it’s finally paid off through.

Chaeyoung was more than happy with Somi’s accomplishments. She knows how much she sacrificed and how much she worked to debut as a soloist. Every since Twice’s debut she kept in touch with Somi. Chaeyoung also had some news on her own to share with Somi.

Somi was aware that Chaeyoung was different from normal people, she did what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to do it even if it. Chaeyoung’s curiosity of the world is what made her special. Somi wanted to do like Chaeyoung, someone who was free and willing to explore.

So when Chaeyoung told her about how she had sex for the first time, she was surprised. She couldn’t believed it, her unnie that she has admired was growing up. “Want me to show you something, Somi?” as she pulls out her phone. She swipes through her phone and shows some explicit phones of her sucking cock, getting fucked from behind, cum on her face and of her leaking cum from her little cunt.

“Chaeyoung unnie, you shouldn’t be showing me this in public. What if someone sees?” says Somi in a worried voice. Somi looks around to make sure that no one can see but lucky they are in in the corner of the cafe. “Don’t worry no one can see anything, but did you like what you see?”

“I can’t believe you actually did it, when did you have time? With who? Where?” whispers Somi. Hearing Somi so interested makes her smile, she knows that she’s finally found someone she can talk to who’s not a group member. They go back and forth, talking about Chaeyoung’s experience and how it happened. It even got to the point where they both decided to go back to her place since they were both end up laughing too loudly in the cafe.

They talk along the way to Chaeyoung’s house, laughing amongst each other. When they get to her house they go both straight to her room. “So what do you think? I’m finally an adult now, through and through.”

“You never told me who he was, unnie.”

“You’ll find out, he’s gonna stop by later on today.” They didn’t have to wait too long when they hear a man’s voice as you help Chaeyoung’s mom with the groceries. “Go hide in the bathroom, I’ll show you something good” as she walks to the door with a smile.

Somi hides in the bathroom but keeps a small opening as she waits for Chaeyoung to come back. She waits and waits until finally the door slams wide open and sees how her unnie is thrown onto the bed. She watches as chaeyoung gets her clothes ripped off by the unknown person. She sees when her unnie finally gets penetrated, moans out loud, and gets thrusted. Chaeyoung’s small tits jiggle as she holds on tightly to the bedsheets, sees the back of the mystery man and how strong it looks.

Chaeyoung turns her head, facing towards the bathroom door. Somi can see how much her unnie likes to get fucked, it amazing her. Chaeyoung grabs the mystery’s man head and begins to kiss him, which makes Somi wet.

She can’t help to to stare at the man’s large and strong back and lower body. Suddenly she see the man position himself better and say “I’m going to cum”, making her remember the voice of the person.

“Wait… it can’t be… no…” says to herself. Somi seems to have an idea on who it is but doesn’t want to accept. She tries to get a better look, causing her to push the door open and says “is that you Oppa?”

You hear a familiar voice and try to turn your head but chae catches you off guard. She constricts her walls tighter, making you cum instantly.

After finishing pumping your load you finally turn to see Somi standing by the bathroom door, wet as her small shorts are damp.

“Why are you here Somi?” as you try to pull out of Chaeyoung, trying to cover yourself.

“I can’t believe it’s you who’s fucking Chaeyoung unnie. What about Jihyo unnie?”

“Wait… I can explain…” but you can see the tears in her eyes.

“It’s okay, Somi. Jihyo unnie give us permission to have sex with him.”

“What do you mean, us?”

“I mean us, as in the group has been having sex with Oppa.”

“I… I can’t believe it” as she’s tries to understand the situation, looking at both the naked bodies of people she thought she knew.

“To let you the truth… I’m Oppa’s cocksleeve” as she giggles.

“Cocksleeve? What does that mean?”

“It means that I’m for Oppa’s exclusive use. He can use me however he wants, whenever he wants and cum inside of me as much as he wants.”

“Is that true oppa?”

“Yes.”

“Is Jihyo unnie really okay with it?”

“Surprisingly yes, she actually encouraged so of the members” as you think back about the past.

“Haha if you only knew what happens back home you’d be surprised.”

“What do you mean, Chaeyoung?”

“Don’t…” you said but you can’t stop to what she’s about to say.

“Oppa even got Jihyo unnie pregnant.”

“Wait… what?”

“Yes… want to know what else?”

“What?”

“It’s not just Jihyo unnie but also Mina and Dahyun unnie. He got all of them pregnant with his huge cock” as she grabs onto you cock like a godlike prize.

Somi’s brain can’t process all this information at once and sits down on the bed. She’s spaces out , trying to understand how her Oppa who she met many years ago get her unnies pregnant.

Chaeyoung tríes to help out Somi and gets closer to her, but accidentally shows her cunt that is leaking cum.

Somi feels something gooey on her hand and turns her head, noticing something white. “Eww… what is this?”

“It’s Oppa’s babybatter” as she swipe a bit of it and shows it to Somi. Not knowing to what to do she asks “is that what but unnies pregnant?”

“Yes, it’s amazing. It feels so good when it he pumps it into you.” Chaeyoung looks at the frozen Somi and says “I see you’re wet down there, seems like your interested.”

“No, I’m not. It’s just hot” says Somi hesitantly.

“I know you want to… how about it, what to taste it?” as she places her finger right next to Somi’s mouth.

“Don’t mess with her Chaeyoung. You don’t have to do it Somi. I’m sorry that you had to see us like this.”

Somi looks and Chaeyoung’s face and wants to be like her unnie. She’s hesitant but she doesn’t want to get left behind, Chaeyoung’s her best friend. “Chaeyoung wouldn’t do something if she knew I couldn’t handle it, right?” thinking to herself.

With that she does away with her hesitation as she takes her first step buy licking the cum of Chaeyoung’s finger.

“Fuck… not again” you say internally as you see Somi lick your cum off Chaeyoung’s finger.

“How was it? Was it good?”

“It was a bit salty but if you like it unnie then I like it, too” says Somi, not wanting to disappoint her. Chaeyoung smiles and hugs Somi, “I knew you’d like. See Oppa I have a new playmate!”

You can’t believe she turned her best friend into her plaything, but do find it kind of hot in the idea.

“So Somi… how about you try it straight from the source?”

“You mean…”

“Yes, have Oppa give it to you. I know find Oppa hot, so this is your chance” while giving you a wink.

“I don’t know… I’m scared. It’s my first time… maybe another time” says Somi while playing with her hair.

Chaeyoung not wanting to lose her new toy she says, “how about you watch us do it. Maybe that might chance your mind.”

“Chaeyoung—ah don’t force her to do things she doesn’t want. Not everyone is as thirsty as you. Please don’t misunderstand Somi, Chaeyoung here is a bit too much and can be a handle full.”

“I… I don’t mind watching you to. It’s true what unnie said, I do think you’re kind of hot” as she blushes.

“See, what did I tell you. Our Somi isn’t that innocent as you might think. So how about it Oppa? Want to give Somi a show?”

Not going to lie you do find it kind of hot having someone watch you as you fuck your cocksleeve. “Okay, if Somi’s okay with it then I’m up for it.”

“I really want to see” as Somi holds on to your arm while hiding her face with her other hand.

You need no more as you turn to Chaeyoung and begin to fuck her.

Somi can’t believe that she’s watching bother her best friend and her Oppa fucking right in front of her. At the beginning she didn’t know what to do, sitting on the couch as her Oppa thrusted inside of Chaeyoung. After some time of hearing the moaning and the sound of flesh hitting each other she began to feel a hot and tingling sensation down in her nether regions.

She began to take her sweater and rub her fingers against her the fabric that was covering her pussy. The wetness coming from her pussy was going through the fabric and she decided to take off her leggings.

Somi was now in a bra and underwear as she continued to touch herself. She would type to keep in sync to the rhythm you and Chaeyoung would fuck. After some time she could feel a tingling sensation as both of you were reaching your peak.

“I’m cumming… please cum inside of me” begged Chaeyoung. Somi was as you pulled out your cock and slammed it deep inside of her, cumming instantly. She too, came as drenched her underwear with her nectar.

After some time you pulled out and turned towards Somi, seeing how she was still shaking from her orgasm. You could see that she enjoyed the show. “I think our little Somi wants to go next” says Chaeyoung.

You walk towards Somi and grab her hand, she accepts and you walk her to the bed. Somi let’s herself get pulled down by Chaeyoung and shyness rolls her fists on her chest, awaiting to be played with.

“Are you going to want to go all the way?” asks chaeyoung?”

Somi nods her head from side to side, “no, I… I don’t think I’m mentally ready yet. I want him to touch me here” as she points to her damp underwear.

“Ohh… Somi wants oppa to touch her private parts” giggles Chaeyoung. “Is that true? you ask and immediately get a nod.

You stand up and are right in front of her as she laying down on the bed. You grab the side of her underwear and begin to pull them down, slowly. You watch as Somi immediately turns to the side, trying to hide her face, not able to see you as you pull down her underwear.

The sight of her pale white skin and her blondish public hair when it’s not longer covered. “Omg… its so cute” as Chaeyoung caress Somi’s bush. “I’ve never seen something like this before, its cute.”

“No, dont look at it. I haven’t shaved” she whines.

“It’s okay, I find it really sexy. I enjoy my woman all natural”, trying to make her feel comfortable. Hearing that seems to make her more relaxed. You lower your face and slowly place a kiss on her lower lips, making her squeal and shiver up.

Immediately you get up and walk towards the couch and take a sit. “Come over here and sit” as you point at the small empty space in front of you. Somi stands up and begins to walk but don’t before you tell her to take of her bra. “Take of your bra, I want to see all of you.” She stands in front of you and begins to undo her bra, dropping it on the floor and continues to walk towards you. Finally in front of you she turns around and sits in-between your legs. “Relax and try to enjoy, okay?” She nods her head.

“Wait… let me get your phone. I want to make sure it lasts.”

“Unnie, you’re going to film it?”

“Yes, of course. It’s your first time with a guy. You need to make sure you remember this moment.”

“Okay, unnie. I trust you.”

No other ways are need as you spread her legs open, placing them on the outside of your thighs. You graze your hand on her lower area, causing her to get goosebumps. You lick to of your fingers on your right hand and begin to trace her lips and place your left hand on her plumpy breast. She moans as you touch her and she places her head on your chest, surrendering herself to you.

This the signed that you needed to continue as you use your two fingers to spread her lips open as you enter her. The feeling of her walls are out of this world, she’s extremely tight. You can barely fit two fingers inside of her and resort to using just one.

Working your way inside you are met with lots of resistance, knowing that your the first person to ever be inside of her. This makes you even more excited and causes your cock to harder up and her the back of her ass. “Oppa i can feel something hard on my butt.”

“Don’t worry, its just my cock. It’s hard right now.

“Okay.”

You continue and feel a small barrier that is preventing you from going any further. “So it’s true, this is your first time.”

“Yes… I’ve never been touched before.”

“Aww… out little Somi is a virgin” she says proudly.

“No… don’t say that. It’s embarrassing.”

“Want oppa to pop your cherry with is finger now or with is cock later on?”

She hesitates to respond but eventually says, “later.”

“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I… I said I want oppa’s cock to pop my cherry, later!”

“That’s my girl.”

Knowing the answer you pull away from her hymen and going thrust your finger enough to leave it intact. You turn your attention to her clit and start to play with it. Taking turns playing with her wall, clit and tits is making her hot and sweaty. You spend a good amount of time pleasuring those areas until she begins to jerk around, signaling that she’s about to have an orgasm. “Oppa… I feel weird. I thinking I’m about to cum.” This is the moment you were waiting for and whisper in her ear, “cum, let your unnie see you cum.”

Somi squirts a large stream of liquid towards the area that Chaeyoung is at. She shakes violently as she’s riding her orgasm that you need to hold her tightly. Holding her for a couple of minutes you see that she’s breathing heavily and is digging her nails on your thighs.

After a couple of minutes her shaking stops and her body becomes loose. Having on energy at all you pick her up and carry her towards the bed and lay her flat. Chaeyoung asks her, “did you enjoy it?”

“Yea… yeah… I…I did. I liked it a lot.”

“Well… that was just a little taste. Imagine what it feels like when his shoves his large cock inside of you.”

“You really did a good, Somi.”

“That’s true. You really did a good job but now you need to make oppa cum.” Somi looks around confused, not knowing what to do. “Grab his cock” whispers Chaeyoung.

Somi grabs your cock with her cold, soft hands. She listens to Chaeyoung’s instructions as she tells her what to do. Somi slowly begins to jerk your cock up and down, pulling on your harden rod. Her moves are those of an inexperienced person because it has no rhythm but is still good for a person’s first time.

You then decide to lead her and tell her how to give you a proper hand job. She pumps your cock slowly but is increasing her pace gradually over time. With your advice she’s gaining more confidence and seems more interested in seeing you finish. Once you feel that your balls are able to explode you warn her, “I’m going to cum soon, lay down.”

She does as she’s told and lays flat on the bed. You grab your cock and give it a couple more jerks, making your shoot out a load of cum. You stain her cunt,stomach, bellybutton,and chest, letting her own that her body is now marked by you and only you.

“Get down on your knees, I’m going to cum on your face.” Chaeyoung pulls her down to the floor and gets on her knees with Somi. Chaeyoung wanting to take part opens her mouth and sticks her tongue out. Somi turns her head towards Chaeyoung and sees what she is doing and copies her.

Now you have two beauty women on their knees, waiting you to stain their face with your cum. Not wanting to make them wait any longer you shoot your cum on their face as you hold your phone, recording this wonderful moment. Your baby batter paints their hair, eyes, nose, and the inside of their mouth, leaving no spot cleaned for the both of them.

After getting their their face painted you stand and wait for them to react. Chaeyoung swipes her finger across her face and tries to collect as much cum and licks her finger clean. Somi on the other hand is frozen, not knowing what to do in this type of situation. Chaeyoung being the helpful unnie that she is grabs Somi’s faces and begin to lick it clean. She collects as much cum as she can with her tongue and gives Somi an sloppy kiss.

Somi is surprised by Chaeyoung’s sudden move but accepts it and continues. You watch both girls are kissing each other passionately as they share your cum inside their mouths.

Previous Chapter 170 Next Chapter 172

#twice smut #kpop smut #male reader #chaeyong twice #son chaeyoung #chaeyoung #twice chaeyoung #chaeyoung smut #jeon somi #somi smut #TM smut

365 notes · View notes

spicesweet · 2 months

Text

good morning, girls ♡

as you may have noticed, there's been a little change here!

liteflower > spicesweet!

it's been a while actually since I wanted to change this url since it was a quick decision I made to change from my first url, which I chose when I was in a sort of pre-relapse state... you get the picture. it wasn't really something I identified with and I've been thinking on what to change it to since I am extremely picky with these things, but this morning, after I woke up before 5AM because my oldest cat vomited over my bed (yep. that was my alarm clock today. love you boy but damn), I decided that today would be the day I'd change without fail, and that was that!

my queue still has a lotttt of posts with the #liteflower tag and I don't intend to change these or change the past posts, but new posts will have the new url, so stay tuned if you want to stay tuned ✧˖°.

yesterday was a very tiring day but today won't be, well, at least after the mess that was my waking up ritual. I don't have much to do today and hopefully I can get most done before lunchtime and then I'll be able to take that glorious afternoon nap to make up for the hours of sleep I lost thanks to my rude ass cat. don't know if I'll jog today because I walked sooooo much yesterday and I think I need some stretch'n'rest and that's it.

just one more day til Friday! we can do this ♡

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nocompromise-noregrets · 2 months

Text

five good things

Time for one of these, I think.

I'm now off work for a week, hooray. I have no concrete plans except some studying and hopefully some writing, and a bit of touristing around town, possibly combined with lunch or a coffee with one of my longest-standing colleagues from job number one who retired yesterday and wants to get out of the way of the builders who will be starting to redo her bathroom on Monday, rather than months ago, as planned, when she'd be out of the way at work all day XD

I went in to job number one yesterday to make some hours up and tackle a particularly complicated task that needed some sustained concentration to get it done; I'd been intending to do it over Christmas but then managed to get the plague and didn't feel up to it, then didn't manage to do it on any of the weekends since then, so when Kate announced she was having a retirement do in our function room at the end of her last day I thought it was a good opportunity to get it done since it was on a Friday which is my non-working day these days. I got done everything I needed to do and also had a good long chat with Pauline, one of my other longstanding colleagues who's been volunteering with us since she retired nearly 20 years ago; I never see her any more because she comes in on Fridays when I'm not there, so it was really lovely to see her. I'm really going to miss Kate, as she's the last member of the team I first worked in back in 1997 to retire - but she's going to be coming back in and volunteering so hopefully we won't lose touch. I've known her (and Pauline, and Julie, our erstwhile manager who retired five years ago) more than half my life and they've all been so incredibly supportive over my career, but none more so than Kate. She's incredibly perceptive and understanding, kind to a fault, and I think she knows me better than I know myself (I am not at all self-analytical or perceptive or any of that stuff). We've been meaning to go for lunch for at least six years, since we haven't worked so closely together after the last restructure eight years ago, and never getting round to it, so I rather hope we can sort something out soon.

The retirement do was lovely - Kate's family were there (including her Oscar-winning son, for those of you who remember that particular excitement this time last year) and colleagues past and present, everyone brought some food, Kate gave us a quiz about herself to see how much attention we'd all been paying over the 36 years we'd variously known her (she started working with us in the autumn of 1987 - so ten years before I did) which was huge fun - my table won, enormously satisfyingly XD although we did have a bit of an advantage with both me and my work wife Helen as we both know her pretty well :D - and it was enormous fun, although I'm in huge denial that she's actually left. I went on to the pub with three former colleagues who I don't see nearly enough of, and wended my way home at the end of the night feeling warm and happy and generally rather good. I'll be getting my long-service award next year (25 years!!!) and I do feel rather as though it's about time I stepped into Kate, Pauline and Julie's very supportive shoes for our younger members of staff.

On Thursday I had a very productive online meeting for job number two, for a project that my predecessor handed on to me without really any guidance as to what I was going to do with it or how (he was very much a project manager and I am very much not, and I think he just expected me to be able to take it and run with it) - I'd had it on the back burner for several years as I just did not know what to do with it, but this year I feel like everything's coming together a bit and I got in touch with the academic who'd thought of it in the first place to say I was almost in a position to facilitate something, and she nearly bit my hands off XD we finally managed to get our schedules aligned on Thursday and she and a colleague and I got a bit of a plan together which is likely to involve me facilitating but not doing much else, which suits me absolutely fine.

Also for job number two I had an enquirer at location number two who wanted to come and look at the house's Catholic chapel registers for a history of the neighbouring village where he lives in a monastery because he is a Benedictine monk. I had never met a monk before, so I was completely intrigued, and he was really lovely - quite young, and very nerdy about history, so we hit it off very well, he found what he wanted in the registers, and then we went for a wander in the Anglican churchyard next to the house looking for gravestones for the family he was looking for. Dealing with enquiries and enquirers isn't my favourite part of the job, but it's always rather rewarding when someone finds what they wants and goes away happy.

Since those five were all work-related...I've done a bit of writing this week on two Femslash February prompts and a birthday fic for @lemurious in her Astronomer!Arwen 'verse, and it's been so nice to be back at it. I haven't felt much inspiration just lately and I've really missed it.

We're plotting fun things for Barduil Month in April over at @bi-widower-dads :D

We have a new boiler! We have heating! And a much better thermostat and more economical boiler and better radiator controls and everything is so much more comfortable. :D

It's nearly spring! Our daffodils have been out for weeks, and one of my peach trees has been in full bloom for about two weeks at this point, although the other one is still only thinking about putting buds out, which is a bit weird because normally they flower together - but the later one is in a shadier position so maybe that's got something to do with it.

I had a couple of nice walks round the docks to and from the garage where the TT was having a couple of things fixed, one first thing in the morning when everything was misty and the water was still as a millpond, and one late in the afternoon when the sun was just beginning to head for the horizon, and it reminded me how beautiful our little city is. I don't usually see the pretty bits, but I feel like I should make more effort to go up to the docks more regularly than once a year around my birthday, when we don't usually enjoy it because all the pubs are showing the Six Nations and the horse racing and we have no interest in either of them. Thinking we might go up during the week this year, instead of the weekend, when the rugby at least isn't on, although it's Gold Cup week so there's no escaping the horses. Still, there are a couple of new places opened now so maybe one of those doesn't have a TV. XD

I have some lovely Lumene skincare stuff again, having discovered that John Lewis sells it over here. It's just the nicest stuff, from Finland, all full of Nordic botanicals and things, and after a while where they weren't shipping to the UK, they are again now, plus I can also get it from John Lewis (I have clearly arrived among the middle-aged middle classes, I have a John Lewis online account now XD ), hooray.

It's nearly bike weather again! I might see if I can get him started up this week, as long as it's not too cold and/or wet.

I've been having so much fun with @mihrsuri RPing in-universe fandom drama in her Tudors OT3-'verse :D :D :D <333333

good lord, thirteen things. Not bad :D

As always, if anyone wants to take this idea and run with it, do feel free. Five (or more!) good things, no matter how big or small. A little bit of positivity in the midst of everything else.

#five good things

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parcequecestnotreprojeeeet · 1 year

Note

I was inspired to write this story by Soazig's picture from his study in La Lanterne. Your Strawberry

At the desk

Quietly, she opened the door of his study and glanced at his desk. A smile slid across her face as she saw how intently he worked. Then his head turned in her direction and he looked at her questioningly. "Do you mind if I sit with you? I want to be near you and read a little," she said softly. A smile slid across his face as he nodded.

She walked over to one of the two armchairs and settled down on it. His gaze had followed her and when she found a comfortable sitting position, she returned it. "Go on," she whispered to him and opened her book. He returned his attention to his papers and a comfortable silence spread. It had become a ritual for her to join him when she wanted to find some peace.

After a few chapters, her eyes needed a break. She took off her reading glasses and automatically put one temple between her lips. The afternoon sun bathed the room in a warm yellow hue. Everything seemed bright and friendly. Her gaze slid to her husband again. Fascinated, she looked at him. He was not bothered by the sun's rays. His hair shone brighter in this ambience than it actually was. It had grown so long again that it curled slightly. She loved to stroke his hair. When he was done with his work, her fingers would tangle it a little.

She heard his pen scratching lightly across the paper. His eyes were fixed on the papers. His forehead was relaxed and the wrinkles around his eyes that had been so prominent last night were gone. He didn't look as exhausted today as he had the night before. He had had a busy week with many appointments, but however busy the week was, they came here on Friday evening and left the palace behind.

Today he had slept considerably longer than usual and already at the breakfast table she thought he seemed more rested and, above all, more relaxed. She was glad that he was able to recover so quickly. She often worried about the enormous workload he was managing. Since he had become president, he had spent at most half a day without working. It was hard to get him away from his papers, but she had her tricks that usually worked.

As she thought about it, a smile crossed her face. "I know you're watching me," it came softly from him and she flinched, caught. He had said this without lifting his eyes or interrupting his work. "Does it bother you?" she asked with a smirk, though she knew his answer. "No," he said stretched and she saw the smile that crossed his face. "I'll be done in a minute," he added softly.

Her gaze stayed with him and after a while he put the pen down. Then his gaze connected with hers and they looked at each other silently. Slowly he stood up and strolled towards her. Automatically she put her book and glasses aside. When he reached her, she rose and he clasped her waist. "What are we going to do now, mon cœur?" he wanted to know. She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."

"I have an idea where you can look at me further, if you like," he teased her, taking her smile as approval. "Come," he said, pulling her to his side and arm in arm they left the study. "Are you done for the day?" she asked hopefully. He nodded. "The rest of the day is all yours," he held out to her.

She realised where the path was leading her and a gleam came into her eyes. "You haven't done that in a long time," she noted softly. "It was a mistake," he confessed, "mostly because it gives you pleasure." She turned to him and hugged him. "Here, it often feels like it's just you and me." Tenderly, she ran her fingers through his hair, just as she had imagined hours ago. Laughing, he broke away from her and made a sweeping gesture with his hand. "Take a seat, Madame."

Giggling, she complied with his request and he sat down at the piano. Questioningly, he looked at her. "What would you like to hear?" She considered. "Something quiet and melancholy, please." She lowered her head onto the back of the sofa and watched him turn to the piano, smiling. She watched as his fingers gently touched the keys and when she was in his face, she noticed that he had closed his eyes. He was concentrating completely on his playing and she was enjoying the sight of him and the soft music. It was a privilege to experience him like this, because he played the piano just for her.

Hellooo sweet 🍓! ❤️

Quite the perfect day! Sitting in peace reading a book in the same room as Emmanuel, stopping to look and just contemplate him (i did notice the hair stroking detail!) to then end up in his arms... and as if it couldn’t get any more beautiful than this, he seats at the piano and plays for her... I definitely have a fantastic mental vision of this 🥰

And hopefully this is something they actually find the time to do. They most certainly need it.

Thank you so much, Strawberry! ❤️❤️❤️

#fanfic #strawberry

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artikgato · 7 months

Text

10/13/2023

So... I've had a

week

But the important part is that I dragged myself out of the house today and went for a jogwalk. Yeah it took me until almost 10am. Yeah it sucked in almost every concievable way because of how many days I've skipped.

I almost feel like the past few days didn't even happen. I know I did things. But like. Last Friday I only got to do half of the jogwalk because it was raining. Last Saturday I skipped because I had a lot to do to prepare for the flea market, which was of course Sunday. Monday I had to skip because I was way too tired. Okay. Reasonable. Monday solo at work was exhausting so it's understandable that I also skipped on Tuesday. I should have gone out on Wednesday, though. And the main reason that I didn't is because I stayed up late playing Silent Hope. I did sort of do a half jogwalk on Wednesday after work! There was a one star raid in the gym so I rushed out there and battled it.

Yesterday I don't think I could have done the jogwalk in the morning since it was a) raining and b) I had to take a friend to the airport. And I went and got groceries and other stuff that I probably didn't need to yesterday. I went out on an ultimately successful quest to find a yellow turtleneck for a last minute cosplay for AWA (which is in less than two weeks AAAAAA). I also spent a liiiiittle more than I should have on a pair of nice green boots. Which means I have to wear them. Eventually. Once it gets cold. For the two and a half weeks it's cold here.

At least I went out today! And hopefully I'll be able to get back in the groove of things. My time was at least decent, and I did catch a whole lot of Smolivs while I was out.

Time to spend the day playing catch up on all the chores I elected to not do on Tuesday. And maybe see if I can figure out which streaming service has the Friday the 13th movies. Since, y'know.

Time: 21:57 Weather: 60, sunny Humidity: 66% Song of the Day: Little Tyrants, Anberlin

#mental health jogwalk

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applecorething · 4 months

Text

it's gonna be so sub zero tomorrow morning. gonna be crazy cold. -9C. that's cold babey

I fed a crow today v close up. he was ringed so i guess he's prob not as scared of humans but still it was nice to hang out very near a crow for a while.

i had a crazy week or so just there. after all the silence of christmas jumped right in to hosting across friday to wednesday, and new job is really full on and demands more of me at the edges of my ability. it will get easier as i learn the ropes but it's intimidating to need to make the plan for this new programme but still be figuring out what's my responsibility, what depth of detail i need to go into for everything, how i can use my skills best. i'm trying my best but it's more mental load than if i was given a clear but challenging task - i'm trying to figure out what the task is while i'm also trying to do it. i've to host a meeting on thursday for a group whose remit was decided before i started, but I have to write the document explaining that remit and no one seems to be able to explain it to me v well.

anyway i'll figure it out. i've been in this industry long enough to know that even well paid people in important positions are often winging it, and it's very allowed to ask a bunch of questions and figure out where you are and what you're supposed to be doing, or what would be most useful for u to do. i'm so sleepy tho

i've a gap in my journal which indicates to me that my brain has been full, and likely there are some gaps in some other parts of my life. food fell off a cliff a little bit, but i'm keeping my head above water with it. today i found myself scrolling loads on my phone which i haven't rly done since start of december when i got off all social media. sleep has been bad which is also an indicator than my brain is full, and that i'm fatigued. weird how being too tired to sleep is a thing for toddlers and also for me. probably should work on sleep hygiene. put my phone on the other side of the room so my alarm rly wakes me and i don't snooze for hours. go to bed early and read even and especially if i feel too tired to read. like girl if ur too tired to read then go to fuckin sleep.

i've not been takin any photos of myself recently, even tho i have been lookin stun. i don't rly know why but i'm noting it. i'm trying to mark my delights each day and share them, maybe i should take a photo of myself when i'm happy as well, to mark it. when i'm watching the sunset or smth. i do love a sunset. sky has been so pink these days. hopefully more in the snowy days to come.

that's all

#writing to myself

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jackiewepps · 1 year

Text

I posted 81 times in 2022

That's 81 more posts than 2021!

43 posts created (53%)

38 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@solarsavoy

@heyhellohihowareyou

@tuulikannel

@the-bizarre-dreamer

@pollicitatus

I tagged 52 of my posts in 2022

Only 36% of my posts had no tags

#japan - 25 posts

#jackie in japan - 20 posts

#fanfic - 10 posts

#assassination classroom - 7 posts

#ask - 3 posts

#convenience store - 3 posts

#fanfiction - 3 posts

#writing - 3 posts

#anime - 3 posts

#danganronpa - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 37 characters

#im too tired to come up with anything

My Top Posts in 2022:

Writing Announcement - First Challenge

As you probably know, or if you didn't, now you do, I write fanfics. I have been writing for 10 years (yes, it has apparently been that long). I have been writing under Jackie Wepps for 10 full years as of this past May (I can't believe it).

But in all this time, I have never done a single challenge. The reason is mainly that the idea of doing it never seemed appealing. Besides, I didn't know where to go to participate. I have always been writing as a "free spirit" for the most part, only accepting few requests, which I have done poorly in fullfilling.

But then a friend sent me a link to a post because she thought I might find it fun. I wasn't planning on doing it, but then ideas began to sprout in my head, and now, here I am.

So here it is.

I'm participating in MaeIso week 2022!

I'm planning to post a total of 8 works, I have 2 for the first day. It's all going to come up on AO3. I'm planning some art for one of the stories, however, which will be posted here, because I still don't know how to put art in the stories on AO3.

The works are all written, I just need to edit them and they will be good to go. Oh, and I need to rethink the title for the last one. Good thing I still have some time left to do that.

I look forward to sharing it all with you. I hope you will enjoy reading my works as much as I have enjoyed writing them.

9 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

Additional picture for MaeIso week. Hope you like it!

9 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

Jackie in Japan - Natural Disasters

In Japan, nature seems to be the ruler of things. There are vulcanos, earthquakes, tsunamis and typhoons. In short, all four elements can come bother us whenever they want.

I shouldn't be in need of talking to you about vulcanos, and hopefully tsunamis will not be a conversation topic either. The only way is if I experience one. All else I can say can be found on the internet, much better explained than what I can do. I'll get to earthquakes eventually, no matter if I experience one or don't. However, the conversation topic for today is typhoons.

Typhoons are fairly common in Japan, especially in fall. They can apparently last anywhere between a few hours to a few days. They occur every year and are always taken seriously, no matter how big or small they may be.

Typhoon 11 is currently passing through Japan. Last week, it was going south, over Okinawa, but as one of my teachers said, it changed its mind and went north instead, to travel through Japan (Can't blame it. Japan is a nice country to travel through).

There has been talk about it since Friday last week. We were instructed to prepare to our best ability. We were to buy as much food and drink as possible, to last us for 3 days, in case it got really bad and we wouldn't be able to be selfsufficient for a time. I admit, I wasn't very good at that.

The typhoon was first predicted to take 2 days coming through, Monday and Tuesday this week. It was later predicted to last about a day, all Tuesday I think, and then just the night between Monday and Tuesday.

I woke up around 3 in the morning and heard the wind blow. I tell you, it was powerful, and a little scary, like thunder, but other than that, it just passed by. It had nearly died down completely by the time I got out of bed at 7:30. Nothing has changed outside, so it definitely wasn't bad this time. But maybe we won't be so lucky next time.

I want to know, what are your experiences with this? I'd love to read them.

10 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

WARNING! About Comments on AO3

To anyone who is lucky enough to not have noticed this yet, there is spam going on on AO3. I woke up to 15-16 comments, all from guest users containing a series of numbers and letters as well as a link. All of them have female names, Karen, Mary and stuff like that. I have asked someone I know to look into the link and he claims it is a "somewhat" innocent porn site (his words translated).

To be fair, I'm not sure I believe the other thing that has caused people to private their works for users only, so I originally opted to keep my works open, as I value anonymous responses to my works as much as those from registered users.

However, I will not be associated with things like what those comments link to. I have therefore, in light of these two events, decided that only AO3 users can read my works as of a few minutes ago. I will also be enabling comment moderation in the future as this will not happen again. I encourage you all to do the same.

Furthermore, I'm sure people do not need reminding in this day and age, but in case you do: do not touch a link unless you know where it goes or trust the person who sent it to you. Thanks to many experiences with things like this and many long talks with my parents in my teenage years, I know to be careful about this. If you are unsure of a link someone has sent you, please feel free to talk to me. I am no expert, but I believe I am getting really good at finding out what links to trust and what links not to trust. If I can't do it, I know an expert.

That is all. It pains me that it has to come to this, but as I said, I will not tolerate things like that in connection to my works. Thank you for your understanding.

10 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Here is the drawing I made of a possessive Karma. It’s for the work I just published, Being Mortal, part 5 of The Love You Fall Into.

I apologize. The paper got a little torn. I hope it’s not too big a problem.

I will probably post part 6 in a couple of weeks.

13 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #considering the fact I got active in august its not bad #i dont do long tags it seems #my art did surprisingly well

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nathank77 · 22 days

Text

4/9/24

7:18 p.m

I passed out around maybe 8 a.m potentially earlier. On the half MG without anything else.

I probably woke up about 4-6 times but I kept my eyes closed and I heard weird hallucinations like screaming or laughing-thats how I know I am about to fall back to sleep........ it's all the same volume but I can still make out what I hear. A scream is still the same volume as a whisper.. but yea I kept my eyes closed despite needing to pee cause I knew I was done for bc of those extra hallucinations.... I don't hear those during the day.

I woke up at 4:45 p.m..... my HSV2 inhibitor test and gonorrhea/chlamydia urine test was today at 4:40 p.m..... I ran out the door... drove to Quest, it's close... thankfully I had an extra pair of glasses in my backpack... I didnt have time to grab my glasses out of my case on my desk before I ran to Quest bc I really wanted to get it done. So this is one of those time where the whole having spare pairs of glasses is really helpful.. they saved my ability to be able to see when I was driving.

Luckily Quest did the tests..... I hate circadian rhythm disorder... I didn't want to open my eyes, I usually wake up to my alarm and I didn't this time. Back before I had psychosis I didn't wake up to my alarms but since Xanax I've been waking up to them almost everyday... when I opened my eyes I truly thought it was like 3 p.m... bc my alarm was set to 3:30 p.m.

My hallucination really is, "happy birthday," "I've got a birthday present," "that's the depressing part," and hearing my own thoughts being repeated which is maddening. I'm starting to regret aligning with it bc it makes it hard to say listen to a song/tv while thinking something out like what I got to do to today, etc... even without other types of chatter..

Anyways I await the results. I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea. I know that hsv2 test was a false positive, yet I'm still worried..

I hit CVS, and then took a shower. I'm home now writing. I have an appt with apple later about my phone number bc it's associated with another account.

I was going to check out some Eyewear places near me but of course with my circadian rhythm disorder, and the time frames its impossible. Maybe I'll start with lens crafters on Saturday and then next week my schedule is less busy and maybe I can make it work.

I'm anxious about oversleeping tomorrow bc of my T-Shot... at 3:45 p.m... I'm so sick of being tied down to this appt every other week. It can't be later than that.... if I could do it myself or have my gf/family/ or anyone reliable do it, I would have significantly less obligations to fulfill every single month. I mean it's a fucking chore. This month alone in total its 3 appts..... it's actually really a huge source of stress. If I could do it myself or have someone else to do it, well I would have had 2 ultrasounds this month, 2 Quest appts, and one dentist appt...

Anyways, maybe I'll game later. Maybe I'll just stare at the TV mindlessly. I got to take a 1MG tonight/tomorrow at like 4:30 a.m so hopefully I can fall asleep earlier and get 7 hours and wake up before 3 p.m.....

I have that stupid dentist appt bc the doctor couldn't see me the day of the cleaning on Friday... I might just cancel and reschedule I need down time. All these optical centers near me close at like fucking 5-6......... it would be cool to be able to swing by a few. They are close together. Maybe I really will reschedule cause like if I go to the dentist, I expect to get my teeth cleaned and see the doctor that same day and only come back if they find a problem...

I still have my ultrasound next Wednesday at 4 p.m on my lower region. I'm worried about that... making the appt. Then them finding something... despite their being no reason for me to think they'll find something.

I just feel like between circadian rhythm disorder, sleep issues, the voice always screaming to get my attention. My constant auditory hallucination forcing me to drown it out and my ocd always being there forcing me to make rules, avoid things, my life is so stressful.

I got my refund back and I can afford glasses. How can I fit going to a few stores locally into my schedule when I'm always going to the doctors and oversleeping...

I have my disability appointment on the 16th at 1:30... idk if I'm just going to reschedule it, maybe I'll take 1 mg and try to make it so the damn thing gets off my fucking to do list and I get my fucking back pay. I'll feel like fucking shit...

Beyond that my arm still hurts from my fall. The x-ray came back clean. I waited until my doctors appt and had her send me in a MRI... it got denied so I sent in the appeal paperwork...

But yea I'm trying hard to stay on the ball, everything is counting against me.

I thought something, what if Elise brings up brendan if I ever run into her. Well if she excessively brings up their plans. I'll assume she's happily married and I will be happy for her but I'll have to cope with that potential of us being together not ever happening.

If she brings up he is with the girls I'll assume nothing. If she says they talked about divorce I'll just listen and say I'm sorry. My jaw might drop a little. That's what I'd do..

Although I don't expect her to show up Saturday. I hope she does.

0 notes

noodlesandpanic · 1 year

Text

♡ Friday (so far) ♡

Good Afternoon, I made progress already towards getting into Cosmetology school! I got in contact with admissions today and they gave me info for the next start dates, and I submitted my Fafsa! So once it processes in the next few days, I'll be able to go in person and talk to them about the cost after financial aid is applied, and hopefully get registered for the next part time cosmo course which starts on March 14th. I have a feeling it may be full already or heavily waitlisted since it's only a little less than a month away, but I have my fingers crossed that it will find a way to happen for me. Otherwise, the next start date is May 16th, but of course I want to get a move on it now.

I definitely already notice a difference since starting the Latuda. I'm doing just 20mg for the first week to start, then I'll increase to dosage to 40mg. Today will be my 4th day of taking it, and I've quickly released that I need to take it in the evening. It initially makes me tired, and then it reaches it's full effect in the evening (since I've been taking it with breakfast) when I'm trying to prepare to sleep. So while it's nice to actually feel like a human being with a little piece of hope once again, it's also important that I sleep because the last 2 nights, I can't shut my brain off. Other than that though, no negative side effects I'm noticing! It's already helped boost the serotonin in my brain because it was at a definite zero. I'm very very grateful for that, and hope I don't develop any bad side effects as I increase the dosage.

I've also done a lot of cleaning and almost completely finished re-reading "You are a Badass" since starting last night between the physical copy, and listening to the audio book version while cleaning for hours today. Though the title and a lot of the comments she makes are pretty cheesy/somewhat cringe at times, the book overall is wonderful and definitely makes me feel motivated to make big changes in my life. I need a lot of that right now, and lucky for me I have many self help books I've been neglecting both in physical form/on Audible. I'll definitely be diving back into them along with journaling (in my journal at home some, but also on this little blog I've made for myself. I like typing. It feels nice, and I like my cute lil bubblegum pink background with purple text on here.) so that I can't get my mind out of this dark, dark well that I've been trapped in for a long time.

I also plan on going to the gym after a long break to at least do some cardio today. It'll be good for my body and brain chemicals, and sleep tonight I'm sure. Maybe I'll go stay at my boyfriend's house tonight if he's available? Then tomorrow I have a pop up market I'm doing with my sister for her crochet items. I'll also bring my art stickers, in case I can sell a few this time.

♡ I hope you have a good Friday, if you're seeing this ♡

#word vomit #online journal #medication #bipolar disorder #cosmetologyschool #self help #oversharing

0 notes

justabigassnerd · 3 years

Text

Gone too long

Pairing - Avengers x teen!reader

Word count - 1,439

Warnings - none, just sad avenger's hours

Summary - you go on a mission for a few weeks and the Avengers miss you

A/N - damn it's been a hot minute since I wrote for these guys and tbh I've missed it because I love them so much. This was a request I got a while back and again I want to apologise for taking so damn long but I'm getting back into the swing of things so hopefully I'll finish my requests soon and I'll be able to surprise you with some upcoming fics of my own I have planned! As per y'all please send in requests and enjoy!

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Three weeks. Three painful weeks you had been gone now. Fury had sent you on your first solo mission in England of all places. The tower felt empty without you there and everyone was miserable. Tony missed you barging into the lab, insisting he needs to take a break and dragging him away from whatever he was working on. Natasha missed having another girl to talk to, missing your late night chats. Thor missed your pop-tart tasting sessions you had most mornings with him at breakfast. Bruce missed hearing your music blaring from your room at various points throughout the day. Steve missed the walks the two of you used to take around New York, taking in the sights. Clint missed pulling pranks with you, it didn’t work out as well when he attempted a prank alone.

Breakfast was silent as the six Avengers sat around the table, eating their food. You weren’t there to make stupid comments or to accidentally choke on your food after putting too much in your mouth.

“I can’t believe she’s been gone three weeks.” Tony manages to say, his stare aimed at his coffee cup as he speaks.

“It feels like she’s been gone years.” Thor grumbles, picking up the pop-tart sat on his plate and taking a bite, grimacing as if the pop-tart had a foul taste. It didn’t, he just didn’t like the thought of you being gone for as long as you have been.

“You’d think she would’ve finished whatever it was she is doing over there by now.” Clint adds, wondering why you’ve been away so long when the mission brief seemed simple enough when you had told them about the mission you were being sent on.

“She’ll probably be back soon. She could just be enjoying her time in England.” Bruce says, glancing around at the others as he speaks. He missed you just as much as the others, but he also knew how rowdy the group were, so he figured you were just enjoying the quiet time away from the Avengers and taking time for yourself.

“True, but I can’t imagine she’d stay away this long though.” Natasha says, raising an eyebrow as she puts her glass of water back down on the table. The six fall back into silence before dispersing to do their tasks for the day. It didn’t matter to them that it had been three weeks since you went away on your mission. Avenger’s tower felt different without your presence, everyone expected to hear you running down the corridors being chased by another member of the team after they fell into one of your various pranks. Instead, there were no chases, just silence as the six got on with their work. With your absence they could get their work done a lot quicker, but it made the day mundane, and they missed being interrupted as they worked because it added variety into their lives that wasn’t caused by the world being in trouble. You may be an Avenger, but the team just missed you being a kid. They’d take your teenage mood swings any day of the week over the dead silence that has been hanging over the tower since you left.

“Mr. Stark has requested your presence in the common room.” The voice of FRIDAY rung out across the various rooms the Avengers were occupying at the time as the sun started to set over the large city of New York. The five headed from their rooms to the common room to see what on earth it was Tony wanted. To their surprise they enter the room and find the tv on and a bunch of blankets and pillows piled up on the sofas with snacks laid out across the table.

“I know we’re all missing y/n. I thought we could have a movie night.” Tony says, uncharacteristically mumbling with his eyes fixed on the sofa in front of him.

“Sounds great Tony.” Steve says, smiling softly and moving to sit on one of the sofas, grabbing a blanket and tugging it over his legs. He watches as the rest join in, grabbing blankets and pillows and sitting on the sofas.

“So, what movie Stark?” Natasha asks after settling herself down on the sofa.

“Dunno. I was gonna ask you guys.” Tony says as he sits on the armchair, whisky in hand as he leans back into the plump cushions of the armchair.

“Let’s just watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Clint says quickly, knowing that if a decision isn’t made quickly, it’ll just become chaos and they’ll never watch a movie. Thankfully, the whole team agree with Clint’s movie choice and fall into silence as Tony puts the movie on.

It felt different watching a movie without you with them. There was no one to toss popcorn at Tony when he made a stupid remark or to explain the plot to Thor when he got confused with what was happening on the screen. Thor was getting very confused about the plot of this movie and didn’t dare ask someone who wasn’t you to explain it to him and so suffered in silence. Every remark from Tony elicited groans from the team but no one threw popcorn because that was your job.

“Great movie choice guys. Bit upsetting you started watching it without me.” The familiar sound of your voice has every Avengers up on their feet within seconds, turning around to see you smiling at the group widely, happy to be back.

“y/n!” They all exclaim happily, rushing over to trap you in a group hug as you laugh. When they pull away, they notice the bruise that has formed around your right eye.

“What happened?” Natasha questions immediately, her gaze becoming concerned as she inspects the bruise.

“Normal mission stuff Nat. Got into a fight, got punched. Hey, I won though. The most important thing is that I’m back.” You say, looking around at the team with a smile and they couldn’t help but return with a smile of their own.

“You’re right. It’s been boring without you y/n/n.” Bruce says softly, placing a hand on your shoulder and squeezing it gently.

“You’re damn right it was boring! I had no prank buddy for three weeks! Three whole weeks!” Clint exclaims, making you laugh as he pulls you in for another hug.

“Alright, I missed you guys’ tons but I’m a little tired. Could we just put the movie on and chill?” You say as you pull away from Clint, glancing at Steve who nods his head.

“Of course we can.” Steve says, gesturing towards the sofa with his head and you all head to the seats. You sit in between Clint and Thor, tugging your knees up to your chest and pulling a blanket over yourself. Tony resumes the movie, and you fall into a comfortable silence this time. It’s filled occasionally by you explaining things to Thor in a hushed tone and Tony isn’t even mad when he gets a handful of popcorn thrown in his direction after saying something stupid. The team are just overjoyed that you’re back in the tower with the rest of the team.

“Uh guys, you might wanna turn the tv down.” Clint says suddenly as the film nears its end. The team turn to notice that you’ve fallen asleep with your head on Clint’s shoulder. You had said you were a little tired but to the team it was obvious that you were a lot more than a little tired. The team exchange soft smiles with each other as you sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks. They opt not to disturb you and lie you down on the sofa, Clint slipping a pillow under your head while Thor covers you with the blanket that had slipped off you as you fell asleep. The team step back as soon as you’re in a comfortable position, exchanging glances.

“Let’s go.” Natasha whispers, and they start to move away. The Avengers were viewed as Earth’s mightiest heroes, but no one knew about how much they depended on you for fun and just how much they had missed you while you were gone.

They left you be for the night, but you best believe that the second you were up and about the next morning they were right by your side, demanding to hear all about your mission and about the fights you won. You would roll your eyes but still tell them everything in detail because they were your family, and you wouldn’t trade them for anything. No matter how clingy they may get.

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spencestyles · 3 years

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I’d do anything

summary: spencer is in love with y/n and y/n is in an abusice relationship. will spencer be able to save y/n? love her when she needs him most?

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

warnings: ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP DO NOT READ IF NOT COMFORTABLE READING THIS CONTENT, normal case violence

words: 4k+

please do not read if you are uncomfortable with the content of it abuse is a trigger. be mindful of this.

enjoy!!

SPENCER'S POV

"Guys this is my boyfriend, Owen," y/n said to the team on a night out.

For the longest time she and I have been best friends, nothing more. I have been in love with her for a while now, but I have always been too afraid to tell her. Now that she had a boyfriend, I knew I had lost my chances.

"Oh my gosh!" Penelope yelled. "It is so nice to finally meet you! y/n has told us so much about you!"

Owen smiled and gave y/n a side hug, "Hopefully all good things."

"Yes," JJ quickly said. "She makes you seem amazing. Hopefully you can live up to the expectations."

"Hopefully I do not disappoint," Owen replied.

The night continued with the team asking Owen questions. I had met Owen before and he truly was a nice guy. That was the worst part. However as the night continued, y/n acted strange and almost seemed afraid of Owen. She was acting timid, something she has never done, not even in front of an unsub.

Owen went to get y/n a drink so I decided it would be the perfect time to ask y/n, "Are you okay? You've been acting strange, is Owen hurting you?"

"What?" y/n laughed. "Spencer are you okay? Of course not. Owen and I are perfectly fine."

I sighed, "Okay, just checking. Are we still on for Dr Who tomorrow night?"

"When have I ever not showed up for Dr Who?" y/n retorted. "I will obviously come. Nothing can ever come between us and Dr Who."

Owen suddenly came up behind y/n, "Wait, you're hanging with Spencer tomorrow?" Owen asked aggressively. "I thought we were going to do something?"

y/n laughed, "I told you I can't ever hang on certain Fridays because I watch Dr Who with Spencer. I also never agreed to doing something together, I would have never forgotten a Dr Who watch party."

Owen glared at me. Obviously he was angry I was hanging out with y/n.

"I think it's time for us to leave," Owen said, grabbing y/n's arm very hard. "Say goodbye to your friends." Owen walked over to the table with y/n and put on a fake smile. As they walked out the door, I noticed y/n look back at me, tears in her eyes. Something was wrong.

The whole team was sitting at the table talking about something random when I decided to speak up, "How did you guys like Owen?"

A mix of complements were thrown by the girls, but the guys, they didn't seem too impressed. JJ, Emily, and Penelope, all went to get drinks while Rossi, Hotch, Derek, and I stayed at the table.

"What did you guys think of him?" I asked.

"I hated him," Derek said simply. "I saw the way y/n acted around him, much profilers the girls are. She's acting just like someone who has been manipulated and abused."

Hotch nodded, "I agree with Derek. I know we aren't supposed to profile team members, but the girls obviously don't see anything wrong."

"Are you guys sure?" Rossi asked. "I mean he seems very nice and maybe you all just think he is not good because you all wish y/n and Spencer were together."

The guys looked at me as I began to blush profusely, "I don't want to be with y/n that much anymore." They looked at me in disagreement. "Guys I'm serious, she has a boyfriend."

"Yeah and you don't like her," Rossi argued. "Just admit that you still have a crush on her and then if something really happens I will believe you."

"Fine," I sighed. "I still like y/n."

YOUR POV

"What the hell y/n," Owen screamed at you. "What the fuck is Dr Who night? You know I don't like him."

You choked a sob, "Owen it isn't like that. I don't like him, he's my best friend. Please don't hurt me."

"He obviously has something for you and you have something for him," He yelled.

"I d-don't lik-ke him Owen," I whispered. "I promise."

This had become your normal routine. Spencer or some other male would say something and Owen would go crazy. Especially about Spencer. Owen would yell at you and sometimes things would escalate. That unfortunately is how it went tonight.

It started with a push, then a slap. Sometimes it progressed more, but that was rare.

"We are going somewhere," Owen said.

You were being dragged out of the house, "Owen, what?"

"Well since you can't be obedient, I'm going to have to teach you somehow y/n."

And like that you were knocked out unconscious.

SPENCER'S POV

I walked into work carrying a coffee for both y/n and I. I decided to get her a coffee to apologize for last night's irrational decisions. I had come to the conclusion that Owen wasn't actually abusive, I was just jealous.

Derek and Hotch though, not so much.

"Baby girl, that guy is a grade A asshole," Derek said to Garcia. "Can you please just do one background check?"

Penelope sighed, "I can't do that Derek, I promised y/n I wouldn't look into him."

I decided to ignore the conversation and wait for y/n to come in for work. After about thirty minutes of waiting I decided to ask Hotch.

"Hey, is y/n coming in today?" I asked.

"Um, no," he said, pulling out his phone. "I got this strange text though, can you look through it."

"Yeah let me see," I said, walking over to where he set his phone down.

"Agent Hotchner, I will not be able to come into work tomorrow for the case. I have an issue with my tonsils. I am sorry." I recited. "I don't think y/n typed this, maybe we should send someone to her house and to Owen's house."

Hotch groaned, "I'll send Derek and JJ, I am hoping our next case doesn't become y/n. Please continue to look over the text and I'll have Garcia look into Owen."

I nodded and put the text onto the white board so I would be able to write on it.

"Hotch, look at this," I said, Hotch walking over to me. "First, y/n hasn't called you agent Hotchner since her first day here, she usually calls you Hotch or Aaron. Also, y/n got her tonsils removed when she was 7."

"Garcia, have you looked into Owen at all," Hotch asked.

"Yeah a little, but it's all normal," Garcia answered.

Hotch glared at her, "Not enough, do a full deep dive. I don't care what y/n told you not to do, he is hiding something and so is she."

Garcia nodded and went straight to work as Hotch's phone began to ring.

"Morgan, you're on speaker."

"Okay so y/n's apartment was spotless," Morgan said. "But it was also locked, so I don't think she went home to her apartment last night."

JJ began to add on, "Owen's apartment on the other hand, was a mess. Like it looked like there was a robbery of some form. Also, y/n's purse was there."

"Garcia what do you have on Owen?" Hotch asked.

"Owen Winters, he is 42 and from Southern California," Garcia began. "As a child CPS was contacted many times and it looks like his dad killed himself when he was 8. It looks like he has an extensive amount of charges for abuse and harassment, all from his ex-girlfriends."

"Do any of them live near?" I asked.

"Yes, boy wonder, 25 year-old Vanessa Montgomery works in a coffee shop near the white house," Penelope explained.

"What is the coffee shop?" I questioned.

"The Starbucks over on Pennsylvania Ave. near the White House," she answered. "Why?"

"I know her, she is the barista that always gets our order perfect," I replied.

"Morgan and JJ pick her up on your way back," Hotch ordered. "Owen Winters is our new unsub and y/n y/l/n is our newest victim."

I sighed as I began to prepare the questions for Vanessa. I looked over at y/n's desk and decided to start looking through it for any details.

As I walked over to the desk, I looked at the coffee on y/n's desk. I wanted to apologize for something that I was right about. Why didn't she tell me? was the only thing going through my head.

At her desk I noticed some things that I guess I hadn't seen before. On her desk she has four framed pictures. One of her, Hotch and Rossi. Another that was her and the girls. One that was of her, Derek and me, from one of the first cases we had together . The last one however, was the one I had never seen. It was a picture of y/n and me from when she took me to Colorado to ski and hike.

I smiled at the memory,

"Spencer, be careful," y/n yelled as I walked closer and closer to the edge of the cliff.

I laughed, "y/n I'll be fine! Come here, let's take a picture."

"Fine! Spencer I swear if I fall, you are coming down with me."

"For you, y/n, I'd do anything."

I then began to look deeper in her desk. I felt like I was violating y/n's personal space, but this needed to be done. As I looked through her drawers, I wasn't able to find anything that could help. Until I looked in the last drawer.

In this drawer, I found papers for a restraining order that had been filed and denied. y/n was trying to get away from Owen.

"Guys, I found something," I said yelling into the conference room. The team looked at me to continue, "y/n filed a restraining order on Owen but it was denied. The date was two months ago. I was thinking back and y/n has been acting a little strange for the past five months. Owen has to have her."

"Reid, we already established Owen has her, but this ensures that he was abusive," Hotch said.

Emily sighed, "The timeline makes sense. She has been hanging out with us less and she has worn more turtlenecks in the past five months than I have seen anyone ever wear."

"Yeah," Penelope said. "y/n has ditched us for girls night for the past few months. She also got mad at me at team dinner last night when I asked why she wasn't wearing something more revealing."

"Her smiles have been fake," I added. "She smiles at us all the time to brighten our days, but they haven't been as nice, welcoming."

"Well, Reid, it looks like you were correct," Rossi said.

"What do you mean?" JJ asked.

Derek laughed, "Last night when you three went off to get drinks, Reid told us he thought Owen was acting violent with y/n and thought she was acting strange. Hotch and I immediately agreed, but Rossi didn't seem convinced. Rossi thought Reid was just jealous because he has a crush on y/n and he doesn't realize she likes him."

"Derek, not the time," I said sternly.

Emily laughed, "I can't believe you of all people couldn't see it Spencer. y/n is hopelessly in love with you and now she is dating a scumbag because she doesn't think you like her."

I sighed as I began to look over where y/n could be located, thinking about the idea of dating y/n wouldn't help us find her. We had made little progression on this, but we knew it had to be somewhere with significance to either one of them or both of them.

I decided to ask Garcia, "Garcia, have you made any progress on where y/n could be?"

"Yes 187, it looks like Owen owns a small cabin around half an hour from here," Garcia said.

"Okay let's go now," Hotch told us.

Garcia gasped, "Wait there is a live feed. I'm putting it up on the screen."

The video was horrific. y/n was tied to a chair looking almost dead. She had blood falling from above her head and looked like she had been through hell.

"Hello BAU," Owen said to the camera. "I have your dear y/n, but you wont be able to get her. y/n will never be out of my sight ever again. I will not have Dr. Spencer Reid ruin our relationship."

"It's not your fault Spence," y/n said to the camera. My heart clenched. She was in pain and I couldn't be there to help her.

"He is the one in the way of our relationship y/n," Owen yelled. "Of course it is his fault."

"Spencer isn't the issue with our relationship Owen," y/n yelled back. "You are."

Hotch started to grab his things, "She shouldn't have said that, we need to leave now. She is already in danger."

We all ran to the SUVs. I went in a car with Derek and Hotch. Derek drove and broke every traffic law imaginable, making the thirty minute car ride less than twenty. The three of us grabbed out vests and began to run to the cabin.

Suddenly, Hotch stopped me, "Spencer it isn't safe for you to be there."

"Hotch I have to go," I protested.

"Spencer, you are the reason she is there," Hotch said. "It may be Owen's fucked up mind, but you are the trigger that made him angry. y/n loves you more than him and he noticed and now we're here. Stay outside." I decided to not fight and stay outside to wait for the other team members. The other SUV pulled up quickly after us.

"Jesus Christ, that was the fastest I've ever driven," Emily complained. "Spencer what are you doing out here?"

"Morgan and Hotch already moved in, Hotch doesn't want me inside," I explained.

"I'll stay out here with you Kid," Rossi said. I nodded in thanks as I watched Emily and JJ run to the cabin. I stood staring at the cabin. Time had become slow motion. It felt like an eternity watching the movement inside.

I heard Derek yell from the cabin, "MEDIC! WE NEED A MEDIC!" I immediately ran into the cabin. I looked over and saw y/n in Derek's arms, barely breathing. I heard Owen yelling at me, but couldn't focus on anything besides y/n.

"y/n," I said, moving to where I was holding her head. "y/n, I need you to listen to me. I love you, I always have and I am so sorry I never told you."

"Sir, we need you to move," the medic said, trying to move y/n onto the stretcher. I began to move when I felt someone grab my hand. I looked down and noticed it was y/n. She gave my hand three squeezes. I Love You.

With y/n on her way to the hospital and Owen getting taken back to Quantico, Derek, JJ, and I all went to the hospital to keep tabs on y/n while the others closed the case.

I sat in my chair nervous out of my mind. Derek sat next to me trying to calm me down and JJ was across from me.

"Spencer, you need to calm down," Derek told me.

"I can't calm down Derek, y/n could die," I said frantically.

JJ began to laugh, "Did you know the other day y/n told Emily, Penelope, and I, that she wanted kids? Can you imagine that? y/n with kids?"

A tear trickled down my face, "She always told me she wanted two kids, one boy and one girl. y/n would be a great mother."

Derek laughed, "The thing that would make y/n such a great mother if her kids were also yours Pretty Boy. I have known since the beginning you two would have pretty kids." I laughed, but also glared at him.

"y/n y/l/n?" The doctor called. The three of us stood up and the doctor began to walk towards us, "y/n is out of surgery. It was touch and go for a while, but she is stable. There were many noticeable signs of abuse that were old, she has a broken harm and three broken fingers, all of which are old."

I let out a shaky breath, "When can I- we see her?"

"I can only let one person in at a time and I doubt she is awake," the doctor explained. JJ and Derek looked at me, signaling me to go to y/n's room. I followed the doctor to her room.

"It might be a little much to see, she may not look like herself. She is very, very fragile and has wires attached to her," the doctor said before opening the door for me. Walking into the room, the environment was tense. y/n was laying in the hospital bed with wires attached to her and much of her body was wrapped up from the surgery and from her injuries.

I went over and sat next to her bed, grabbing onto her hand, "y/n, you can't hear me but I am here. It's Spencer. I am so glad you are okay, but why didn't you tell me about Owen? I could have done something. WE could have done something. I am just so glad you are safe."

For the rest of the time, I sat there watching her sleep. Not in a creepy way, but to make sure she was safe. I was so pissed at myself for not realizing what Owen was doing earlier. I should have been able to see the warning signs. Some of them were subtle, when she wouldn't hang out with the team or was constantly checking her phone. But some of them should have been immediate red flags, the flinching in front of the unsub or how she always wore clothes to cover herself. I should have known. The team should have known.

I felt y/n's hand move and saw her shift, "Spencer?" she asked.

"y/n," I said breathlessly. "I am right here, but I need to go get a nurse. You are at the hospital, Owen hurt you."

I started standing up to leave, "Spence, no. Don't leave me."

I sighed, looking at her disheveled features, "y/n, I will be right back. You need to see a nurse."

Walking out of the room was painful, hearing her sobs in fear of being hurt again. It pained me to know I was leaving her when she needed me, again.

I walked over to her nurse, "Um y/n y/l/n has woken up, I thought you should know." The nurse said her thanks and walked with me to y/n's room. As we walked in, the sound of y/n's labored breaths became more noticeable.

"Miss y/l/n, we need you to calm down," the nurse said, running to y/n's bedside.

Immediately, I walked over to y/n and held her hand. "Sir, you need to exit the room," the nurse said, ushering me away from y/n. At that moment I didn't know what was worse, hearing y/n's cries or feeling so helpless in the situation.

Suddenly, I felt a presence next to me, "Reid, you need to leave, it's not good for you here."

Derek.

"Derek, I-I-I can't just leave," I stuttered. "I need to be there to help, she's all alone."

"Kid, you need to shower," Derek said.

"No, Derek you don't understand," I said angrily. "I can't just leave her here again. I didn't notice when she was hurt and I need to show that I care."

Derek sighed, "Reid, she knows. She's not going to hate you. No one knew that she was going through that. It's not your fault."

I was about to say something when I say y/n being moved out of her room by doctors, "What is going on?" I asked.

"Miss y/l/n is getting taken back into surgery," the doctor said. "We don't know what happened." I began to hyperventilate. I was freaking out. y/n wasn't alright. She was going to die.

As I began to sob, Derek pulled me into a hug, "She is going to be alright man. You'll get to see her again and talk to her and finally ask her on a date. Does that sound good?"

I unconvincingly nodded my head.

"No, Spencer, don't do that," he said. "Don't doubt the doctors and think about the statistics, y/n is not a statistic."

I nodded, wiping my eyes.

"There you go," Derek smirked. "Now, go take a shower at your house so y/n wont shy away at your scent. Also, maybe get her some flowers. She likes-"

"Pink roses," I interrupted, laughing. "Pink roses are the most difficult flowers to find."

Derek laughed, "At least try to find them."

"For her," I began. "I'd do anything."

After that, I ran to the SUV to head to Quantico and get my car. The car ride felt like forever and I wasn't excited for the possibility of seeing Owen. Thankfully, I didn't see Owen between the time of dropping off the SUV and going to the parking lot to get my car. The car ride to my apartment was short, thank God. I decided to take a quick shower, just wanting to freshen up. I got dressed in my home clothes, which were in fact different from my work clothes, contrary to the belief of most of my team members.

I made it to the flower shop that was down the street from my apartment. I was usually able to find at least one pink rose here, but it was typically very difficult.

"Hello," the shop owner said. "We are close to closing Spencer. Do you need anything in specific?"

"Pink roses," I stated.

The owner laughed, "I'll have to check the back, but don't get your hopes up."

I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, but I couldn't help myself. y/n loves pink roses and I love y/n.

The owner came back, "You my kind sir, are in good luck. We had one bouquet left of pink roses in the back."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I said, pulling out my money. The owner nodded as I ran out the door to my car.

Speeding to the hospital, I made it to the waiting room. In the waiting room, I couldn't find the team. They were all there, but they weren't in the waiting room. I decided to go to y/n's room and see if they were near there.

Walking to y/n's room, I heard laughter. I looked into the room and saw the team in there along with y/n, smiling. I knocked on the door and slowly opened it.

"Spence," y/n smiled. "I missed you."

"Well I should get going," JJ began. "I need to go see my boys."

The rest of the team followed with their excuses for leaving y/n and I alone.

"H-hi y/n," I stuttered. "I brought you flowers, h-how are you?"

"I am as good as I can be," y/n laughed, obviously compensating the pain. "Thank you for the flowers Spence, I can't believe you could find them at this hour. You have always told me-"

"10 AM is the best time to buy pink roses," I interrupted. "Sorry."

"It's okay Spence, how are you?" She asked.

"Not that great," I said honestly. "Why didn't you tell us y/n?"

y/n sighed, "It was hard Spencer. I already barely had time alone with you guys and I didn't want to ruin it. Owen was also very scary- a mad man. I felt hopeless Spence, I didn't know what to do. I mean I've seen situations like this all the time in cases, but when it was actually happening I felt like there was nothing to do."

I held on to y/n's hand, giving it small kisses while she continued to talk me through her feelings, "and Spencer, I don't want to be alone tonight. Do you think you could stay?"

"Of course y/n," I answered.

"Thanks Spence, you're the best," she said. We continued to sit in a comfortable silence, watching the new episode of Dr Who on the small television in the corner of the room when y/n spoke up again, "Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?" I asked, hoping she didn't mean my love confession.

y/n looked at me, knowing I was avoiding the topic, "When you said you love me Spencer. Did you mean it?"

"Yes," I answered.

"I love you too," She said.

I smiled, "Maybe once you're better Icantakeyoutodinner?"

"Spencer say it slower and I'll answer," y/n laughed. "I couldn't understand you."

"Once you're better maybe I can take you out to dinner?" I asked.

"Of course," y/n said. "But no Indian, if we are going on a date I want to go out somewhere. I want to feel pretty."

"To me, you are the most beautiful girl in the world," I said.

y/n blushed profusely, "I still can't believe you found those pink roses! I bet you had to look all over."

"I did, but for you, I'd do anything."

#spencer reid #criminal minds one shot #criminal minds oneshot #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x reader

248 notes · View notes

soyouthinkucanwrite · 3 years

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What did he say? - Daniel Ricciardo one shot

Update: I just realized it's Carlos' birthday TODAY! I'm so so sorry hahaha I feel like a jerk, but it's just play pretend ok?

Guys, this is based on a dream I had but listen, it’s so weird cause I KNOW this is not like Carlos AT ALL. He’s kind of the vilan in this one... Please don’t be mad if you’re a Carlos fan, it’s just for fun, I swear. I’ll even try to write something with him later to make it up to you guys! Also, I clearly don't know how vacuum works in racing, so again, just humor me and pretend I got it right, ok?

As always, please take the time to let me know what you think, means a lot to me (even if it’s constructive criticism)! And thank you so much to everyone that always does! 💕 Your lovely messages always motivate me to keep writing!

Warnings: angst, jealous Daniel, kind of a dick Carlos (again, sorry! I know he’d never)

I was in the “side stage” at the press room for the Austin GP, the first I ever went and of course, the first with Daniel, as his girlfriend. He was answering questions along with Pierre Gasly on stage. There were a few people besides me, including some of the drivers, waiting for their turn to face the press.

"Coco, ¿quién es?" I heard Carlos Sainz whispering to his cousin, nodding his head in my direction.

"No conozco. ¿Creo que es periodista?" his cousin answered looking at me. I just acted like I wasn't listening, or understanding, not sure why though.

"No, si fuera periodista estaría allá fuera, haciendo preguntas" Carlos continued.

"Sí, pero no me parece estar perdida" his cousin commented, they kept whispering but I could hear them very clearly.

"Qué pena, no me importaría darte direcciones" Carlos said with a smirk and I felt really uncomfortable at that, which only made me stay even more frozen in place and wish Daniel came back sooner.

"Si no te conociera, diría que acabas de romper una relación. Ni siquiera puedes ver a una chica alrededor" his cousin said hitting him playfully in the head.

"¿Y te parece esta una chica cualquier? Siempre debes andar con supermodelos, ¿no?" Carlos joked back.

"Vale, tienes razón" his cousin answered him and I was counting the seconds for Daniel to come back now.

"Pero sin duda es nueva aquí. Me recordaría de algo como eso. Tampoco pienso ser americana, ellas no tienen esta-" Just then someone called him.

"Sainz, you're up next" Daniel walked out, coming by my side. "Hey" he said to me and I smiled. "They just asked to wait 5 minutes, something about changing the batteries of the mics" he said looking back at Carlos, his cousin, and Kimi, who was going to be pairing with Carlos in the press conference and was just hanging in the corner by himself this whole time.

"Alright, thanks mate" Carlos answered.

"Hey, have you guys met (y/n)? Carlos, Carlos, (y/n)... (y/n), Carlos, Carlos" Daniel made the introductions grinning like a teenager, probably finding it super funny that they had the same first name.

"¡Hola! Mucho gusto en conocerlos, soy (y/n). ¿Como están?" I extended my hand to greet them, feeling much more confident now that I had a 5' 9" Australian by my side. They looked startled at me and then at each other.

“¿Hablas español?” Carlos asked me.

“Sí, y compreendo muy bien también” I told him and my tone made it clear I knew exactly what they were talking about earlier and didn’t like it a bit.

"Carlos, Kimi, they're ready for you" an assistant called.

"Good one kid" Kimi said to me when he walked past us, winking at Daniel. Carlos followed him to the stage and since I didn't want to just stand there in the remains of the awkward situation with Dan and Carlos’ cousin, I just walked in the opposite direction, outside the press room. Not too long after, Daniel walked after me.

"Hey, what was that about?" he asked, still smiling. Boy, he wouldn't be smiling for too long after I told him what that was about.

"What?" I asked, trying not to make a big deal. He reached for my hand, taking it in his.

"You know what. Come on, what happened back there? Did you guys know each other?"

"No!" I have to tell him now, or he'll think I have something to hide. I took a deep breath. "They were talking between themselves before you come out, in Spanish. And I don't think they thought I could understand" he looked at me confused but then it hit him and his expression changed from confusion to rage.

"What did they said?"

"Nothing, it's not a big deal ok? I just wanted to let them know I could understand, so I just said 'hello' in Spanish, that's all" I said, walking away from the place where we were standing and pulling his hand. God knows I didn't want to be there when Carlos walked out, or better, for Daniel to be there.

"I figured that much. But what did he said? Just tell me" Daniel looked at me.

"Let's just go? Please? It's not worth it. What are you going to do? Sucker punch him?"

"Do I need to sucker punch him? Is it that bad?"

"No! Dan, please, let's just go. This is not going to lead us anywhere"

"(y/n)"

"I'll tell you. Promise. Back at the trailer, okay?" I tried to negotiate.

"Fine"

When we stepped back inside his driver's room, Daniel closed the door and looked at me.

"Alright. Spill it"

"Promise me you won't do anything to him"

"Absolutely not. The longer you stall me, the more pissed off I get"

"Okay” I knew I had no choice and honestly, why should I protect him really? I’m just worried about how this might make Daniel feel. “They were wondering who I was, his cousin was teasing him saying he was only interested because he just ended a relationship"

"That's not all" he said and I didn't answer, just looked away, shaking my head. "Alright. I'm sorry you had to hear that. But you can tell me these things ok? I want to protect you baby" He said stepping closer to me and hugging me.

"I don't want you to cause trouble for something stupid"

"Hey!" he said pulling away a bit to look at me. "This is not stupid. Nothing about you is stupid. It's a big deal baby, that’s plain disrespectful. I want you here with me, always. And I want you to feel comfortable here, okay?"

"I feel comfortable now" I said hugging him closer. He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"Fuckers" he whispered to himself.

"Promise me you won't confront him. He'll deny, or start a fight. Or both. And besides, it’s not so much what he said, it’s more like how they were eyeing me. And I don't want you to get involved in a scandal" I said pulling away and sitting down in a chair. Daniel leaned against the table, looking at me.

"A scandal?" he laughed.

"You do know gossip is the major product of motorsports, right?" I smirked at him.

"Fair enough" he agreed. "Fuck baby, the things I have to deal with for having a goddess as a girlfriend" he was joking now, so the mood seemed lighter, but knowing Daniel, I knew he hadn't completely let that go yet. I just rolled my eyes at him. Hopefully, the events of the weekend would be enough to get his mind out of it.

Friday and Saturday kept us busy enough so that we didn’t touch the subject anymore, but I could still catch Daniel staring at Carlos here and there. And I could definitely see Carlos staring at me too, which I tried to avoid at all costs, staying out of his visual field. If Daniel saw that, I don’t know if I’d be able to hold him back again.

On Sunday I’d be watching from the garage with Michael and Blake, which was super exciting, to see all the action from the front row. But I didn’t want to disturb Daniel’s routine, so I tried to stay back a little. Yet, he kept coming to steal kisses and joke around. He seemed really relaxed and confident. He was P5 and I took the care to see that Carlos was P8, so I knew they might race each other eventually but I also knew that Dan would be much more preoccupied doing what he does best and overtaking the 4 in front of him to even think about whoever was behind. Everything was going to be fine, no harm done.

“Alright. Time to go” he announced to me. “Kiss for good luck?”

“Good luck. Just go and do what you do best, okay? And try to come back in one piece” I smiled through the kiss and then watched him take his helmet from the table, wink at me, and turn to walk towards his Mclaren. My chest was tight but I could only pray and hope now.

The cars were already outside the garage for some reason, so Dan was walking out when Carlos passed in front of the orange crew. He stopped to greet some of them and that would be fine, except he was not paying any attention to the people he was talking to. He was looking inside the garage like he was looking for something, or rather someone, cause when he saw me he nodded like he was greeting me and checked me out, head to toes. Dan saw it and looked back inside just in time to see me step aside, behind Michael, clearly uncomfortable with the whole thing.

“Hey... man” Carlos greeted Daniel. And his tone made me sure that it wasn’t even about me anymore. Carlos knew how much it must be bothering Daniel and was clearly using it to try and get him pissed off and unfocused. The thing is, very few things were capable of getting Daniel out of his “all good all ways” vibe, but when they did, you definitely don’t want to be on his way. I’m actually a bit worried about the other drivers now, Carlos included, because Dan just turned back to his machine, like he knew exactly what he was going to do and nothing would stop him, getting inside the car a mere formality. He didn’t even bother to take a second look at Carlos.

“Oh boy” I commented.

“Yeah, I saw it” Michael said to me. “What was that about anyway? I thought they got along fine”. I don’t say anything else, and from that moment on my eyes are glued to the screen in front of us, following any micro movement Daniel makes.

They go for the warm-up lap, which feels like it takes forever, and then, finally, Grid formation. That sign must be broken cause the lights also took hours to change.

3, 2, 1... there they go. Thank god we’re wearing masks, otherwise, my nails and fingertips would be long gone.

The first turn is a sharp one and Daniel had an opening to overtake Perez, the first driver in front of him, we could see it clearly from the drone view, but he didn’t take it. What is he doing?

“What is he doing?” Somebody in the garage voiced my thoughts.

“You had an opening Daniel” the engineer said on the radio.

“All under control. I know what I’m doing. How far are the others behind me?” Daniel answered.

I hoped he wasn’t doing what I thought he was doing but I already knew he was. Being the risk-it-all-idiot he was, Dan was waiting for Carlos to catch up to him. Knowing him, I knew he wanted to race and beat him personally, which was crazy stupid, but wouldn’t take long since Carlos had already overtaken Gasly and Alonso, and was now only a few nanoseconds behind Daniel.

“Come on Dan” I said to myself.

“Come on Daniel” Blake practically yelled at the screen.

I feel like throwing up. He’s gonna get hurt and jeopardize all the work the team put into the weekend just to... to what? I don’t even know. If he gets out of this race alive, I’ll personally kill him.

The race’s still going, no major changes after the first turn. Then suddenly Daniel seems to remember he had a gas pedal, finally getting speed in the big straight and leaving Perez behind. Carlos followed him, seeming to use the vacuum in his favor. Everybody in the garage celebrates, but I’m too focused to cheer along. He’s so close to the podium now. Just keep it up, baby. Carlos is still on his tail.

“Good job mate” the engineer says on the radio. “Watch for Sainz on your right. Bottas’ next”

“Keep me posted on Sainz’s time” it’s all Daniel says.

A couple more laps go and he’s really trying to overtake Bottas, not playing games anymore. Carlos doesn’t seem to try to overtake him even once though, he’s too far behind still.

More laps go by and I can’t standstill. When they’re in the 19th lap, with Max and Hamilton battling each other and taking turns in the lead, Daniel’s voice comes on the radio.

“Let’s be the first to box” I’m not sure what he’s playing at, as it’s still too soon to box, but the team seems to agree.

“Copy that. I’ll let you know when. Let’s get a couple more laps in. Keep this up for now” his engineer answers.

“Understood” Daniel’s voice come through the radio. “How’s Sainz time?”

“At least 1.5 seconds behind you” the engineer informs him.

“Understood” Daniel says.

He’s planning something. Not sure what, and I don’t know if I even could, not knowing much about racing strategies, but it definitely has something to do with Carlos and what happened earlier.

“Ouch!” I hear Michael say and nod towards the screen, making me focus on the race again, and not only on Daniel. Max and Hamilton had touched tires. “They're really going at it, definitely using way more tires than necessary"

"If Dan box before them..." I begin to ask.

"He needs a fast box, gaining speed later and for their box to be slower, but yeah, that's his best shot at them" Michael explains to me.

"Come on baby" I whisper to myself.

Daniel seems to finally get close enough to Bottas, but the Finnish guy won't make it easy for him. Turn 11 on sector 2 will be his best shot now and it's getting closer.

The garage and the radio go silent. Feels like the whole world is holding their breaths while Daniel smoothly overtakes Bottas from his left. And then I almost go deaf with all the cheering around me, it's a podium for Daniel, for now.

Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to last too long, cause once he comes to the box all the other drivers will pass him. It's just so frustrating.

"Good job mate. Spectacular time. Box now" the engineer informs on the radio.

"Box confirmed. We need to ace this, boys" Daniels says.

Not even a full minute later, I hear his car and see it on the screen. I look outside to see the orange machine with the big 3 in front of it, but I don't even have time to try and take a look at him, cause 2.3 seconds later (or at least that's what the TV tells me) there he goes again. The good news is, only Bottas passed him. The bad news is he almost crashes into Carlos when he comes out of the Pit Lane.

Some of the crew were still celebrating the fast pit stop when they realized what happened. I let out a gasp. They touched tires but Carlos seemed to have managed to get away from Daniel, quickly returning to his side a moment later but struggling to keep it up. Dan, on the other side, seems unbothered. He keeps gaining speed, even though the pit exit is right on the first turn.

"Take it easy now mate, even if Sainz passes you, his time is not enough to stay in front" the engineer informs Daniel, clearly worried that the risk doesn't justify the ends.

"Understood" Daniel responds.

We're on lap 30 now and just as the engineer said, Carlos is a full 2 seconds behind Daniel. Bottas still in front of him (which is frustrating for me because he had just overtaken him before the pit stop), then Hamilton, and finally Max.

"Daniel" the engineer calls him. "How're the tires?"

"All good"

"Good. Ready to race, mate? Hamilton's going to box now"

"Before Bottas?"

"Yes, that's confirmed"

"Understood"

I listen to the conversation between Daniel and the engineer closely, but I can't say I know exactly what the implications are.

"Bottas' going to second, Daniel to third again. Let's hope for a slow pitstop for Hamilton, so when he comes out, he comes in third and races Daniel. That's the best-case scenario, so he needs to gain speed now" Blake explains to me.

"Got it" I confirm to him. "What about Bottas? He should box on the next lap right?"

"Yeah. If Daniel overtakes him still on this lap, the difference will be too big for him to recover after his pit stop. Hopefully" He tells me.

There's a lot of 'hopefullys' and 'best-case scenarios' in this conversation, but I'll take it. I start to silently pray right away, eyes glued to the screen to see exactly what Blake predicted unfold: Hamilton pit stops, Bottas and Daniel are the firsts to go up on the positions, then Carlos, Alonso, and Gasly. The first turn comes again and Dan seises the opportunity to overtake Bottas, who, to his credit, is fighting real hard, but Dan isn't letting him take back his position.

Dan is P2 now. Max is almost 3 seconds in front of him. Hamilton comes out of the pit lane behind Gasly, it should take him long to again his positions.

"Bottas to box on this lap mate" the engineer announces.

"Not worried about Bottas. What about Max?" Daniel answers. A few moments of silence follow.

"Box confirmed for Max on this lap as well. Just get closer to him" the engineer instructs.

"Understood" Daniel answers.

"Come on, baby" I cheer silently again.

"Fuck! He's gonna make it" Michael yells. "Come on Daniel!"

Bottas is 2 seconds behind Daniel, and on the big straight Daniel manages to shorten his time difference to Max to 1.8 seconds. The next thing I know, Max is coming down the pit lane, quickly followed by Bottas. Daniel is P1. I can't believe this. Carlos is P2, but he hasn't boxed yet. Surprisingly enough, Alonso is P3 and, not so surprisingly, Hamilton is already P4 and gaining speed.

"Alonso hasn't boxed yet" Blake comments. That's bad news if we were hoping for him to defend his position against Hamilton. I take a look on the TV and they're showing the conditions of his tires, which to me doesn't mean anything.

"Will he be able to hold him?" I ask Blake.

"Not sure, he's tough though and doesn't want Hamilton to win, that's for sure" Blake answers me.

Then we hear Max passing outside, had almost forgotten about him.

"That took him longer than normal" Michael comments and we look at the screen, his pit stop was 3.6 seconds long. An eternity for the Redbull team. But awesome news for us. Bottas had already left the pit lane, his pit stop was 2.4 seconds long.

The grid is now Daniel, Carlos, Alonso, Hamilton, Bottas, and then Max. Alonso is still holding Hamilton back. Normally, I'd guess Carlos would box soon and maybe even Alonso, but since I know Carlos has some personal motivation against Daniel, I feel like he's going to hold on the longer he can and the same goes for Alonso regarding Hamilton.

We're at the final 10 laps now and nothing has changed, except Carlos is dangerously closer to Daniel now. Alonso still hasn't let Hamilton go by him, repeating the Hungaroring events. I hear the signal of the radio, indicating we're about to hear some communication between Daniel and his engineer, and my chest tightens. It's Daniel's voice that comes on then.

"Something wrong. I'm losing power" Fuck. No.

"Sainz is at your tail. Can you hold on?" the engineer asks.

"I don't know. Fuck. It's just not working. How much's the difference?"

"Less than 1 second"

"Fuck. Why hasn't he boxed yet?"

"His tires are in real bad condition. But I don't think he's going to do it now"

"I'll put some pressure on him"

"Negative. Negative. Stay away"

"Not going to touch him. Pinky promise" Bastard. I can hear the smirk in his voice, even though this is extremely dangerous and insane pressure, Daniel's still having the time of his life.

9 laps to go.

8 laps to go.

Carlos almost overtakes Daniel.

"Engine's not good. Can you do something?" Daniel asks.

"Negative. 7 laps to go mate, just hold it"

"Understood"

On the big straight of the 51st lap, Carlos overtakes Daniel, but then on the next turn, Daniel takes back his position. The sequel of turns that follows is the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever seen in my life, they're so close to each other, and at such a high speed that if they simply touch tires they would fly off the track and everything would be lost to both of them, maybe even their lives.

"Hamilton passed Alonso, mate. Watch out" the engineer informs him, and I look at the screen. Fuck.

"Fuuuuck" Daniel says on the radio.

It's the 52nd lap now, only 4 more to go and Carlos doesn't even signal a pit stop. He's going to try to make the whole race without it.

"Ferrari is not happy with him" Michael laughs a dark laugh. I knew he had a history of being stubborn but this is too much.

"His tires are at less than 10% integrity. How is he still going?" I ask.

There's the big straight again and Carlos falls a bit behind Daniel, but I've watched enough to know that that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing. Just as I predicted, he tries to use Daniel's vacuum to gain more speed and overtake him, Daniel doesn't let him through and get in front of him, making him almost go off track. That would be a "normal" movement, except Hamilton was using Carlos' vacuum in his favor and, when Carlos is forced to change directions, Hamilton hits his back left tire, which makes it blows off and it's a mess from then on.

Daniel is far from the whole ordeal by now, safe and sound, thankfully. But Carlos spins in the track, taking Hamilton with him. They both go off track and Max flies by, followed by Bottas, Charles (where did he come from?), and then Alonso.

"Are they alright?" It's the first thing that comes up to me to ask.

"Fuck! That was crazy. Is everyone ok?" Daniel asks on the radio.

"Positive. Everyone's ok. Keep going, mate. 3 more laps to go" the engineer informs him.

"Who's behind me now? Bottas?" Daniel asks.

"Max. But he's at least 2 seconds behind, we should be fine" I hear the engineer say and it's like I can almost breathe again. Daniel's going to win this thing. He's so close now.

"It wasn't Daniel's fault, was it? Can they punish him in some way for the accident?" I ask Michael.

"Don't know. He was defending his position, but he's been closing in Carlos ever since the begging of the race. Depends on how Ferrari and Mercedes spin this, they'll try anything that favors them" Michael explains to me in a worried tone.

They're in the final lap and Daniel's been clearly losing speed. Something's wrong with the engine. But it's the final lap, just a few more moments, come on baby, you can do it. Max is so close to him though, I wouldn't be surprised if the winner was declared based on the replay of the finishing line. The big straight comes up and Dan has to stay out of Max's front, so as to not give him any advantages.

I can barely see it, but at the same time, I can't take my eyes off the screen.

"Full force now mate, final sector. You can win this" the engineer says on the radio but Daniel doesn't respond. Max is right by his side, he's going to pass him.

There's smoke coming out of his car, the whole thing is going to blow off any second now. Oh my god, please just a few more seconds.

5 turns to go.

4 turns to go.

3 turns to go. Max overtakes him. Shit.

2 turns to go. Daniel wins his place on the podium back.

Final turn. Daniel's in the front, barely. They cross the finish line and the whole garage explores with cheering. There are people running outside to wave at him. I can only smile and hold my own head like it would fall off otherwise. He did it. He fucking did it.

"Woo-hoo! Yes! Yes! Fuck yes!" I can hear Daniel on the radio, screaming his lungs out.

"Good job mate. Spectacular work. First-class, really! Well done!" the engineer cheers on.

The next thing I know, Michael is hugging me and lifting me from the ground just to puck me back down and Blake lift me up again. I can only laugh at their excitement. I'm so happy for Daniel I can barely grasp it!

"Let's go!" Blake puts me down and runs outside the garage. I follow him out, to the place where Daniel is stopping the car, a bunch of smoke coming out and some people with fire extinguishers around it.

He's got his fists up, celebrating. But is still inside the car. Then he takes off the steering wheel and handles it to one of the mechanics waiting outside. He gets out of the car and stands on top of it, smokes still coming out from behind. It's a nice picture. I just hoped he got away from that thing before it explodes, but it's a nice picture, can't deny it.

Then he jumps down and run towards the crew, jumping over them, helmet still on. Everybody is celebrating and cheering, I can only laugh and clap at the scene before me. So much joy and happiness going on, the energy is amazing! Then I can see Daniel looking around, but since his helmet is still on, I have no idea what he's doing. Somebody seems to understand though and they wave at me, calling me to come closer. I approach, but I'm still unsure, don't want to get in the middle of the team's celebration. But Daniel grabs me, pulling me closer and hugging me. I just laugh, can't barely see him with the suit and helmet still on. He's saying something, but I can't understand a thing.

"What?" I laugh at his attempts to communicating with me. He opens his helmet visor and repeats.

"I fucking won baby!" He yells laughing.

"I know! I know! You won Dan! I'm so proud! You're the best baby!"

"I need to get this thing off" he says struggling to get the helmet and the balaclava off, when he finally manages to do it, he jumps over the fence that was separating us and hugs me again, lifting me in the air and kissing me deeply, making everyone around us cheer even louder and I smile against his lips. I wrap my legs around him and he keeps kissing me, only after a few seconds do I pull away to breathe and he touches our foreheads. I laugh again, just enjoying the feeling of pure happiness for him.

"I'm so proud of you. You were so good. This is crazy" I whisper to him.

"Get used to it, cause there's more where it came from" he answers kissing me again.

#daniel ricciardo #Daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo one shot #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 one shot #daniel ricciardo fluff #daniel ricciardo x reader

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roselen-mylady · 3 years

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the game | part two

Part One

Steve hated to admit it but he had always been a jealous person. As a child he was jealous of the way so many other kids had dads that tucked them in at night. As a teen he was jealous of how easily Bucky made women swoon. As an adult he was jealous of Stark when he attempted to woo Peggy. And now he was jealous because it seemed everyone but himself was able to easily talk and even kiss Y/n.

Oh how badly he had wanted to.

And he almost did during that game of spin the bottle. Yet he'd lost his nerve. And lost his chance.

Thor's laughter had drawn his full attention toward the pair. Not that his eye had ever left Y/n but now the man before him was blatantly being ignored as Steve's entire focus was on Y/n and Thor. He strained to hear whatever was being said by her but he could hardly pay attention as Thor lifted her into the air and spun her around like a princess.

He could've done that.

His blood nearly boiled as he watched Thor kiss her. It was innocent, he knew that, but he just couldn't help it. He was angry at the world and Thor but mostly himself.

Before Thanos he thought he'd have all the time he needed to work up to confessing his feelings for her while she stayed in Wakanda watching after his best friend. But when she was snapped away he realized he had made a horrible mistake. A mistake he regretted every minute of every day during those long five years.

But now he had a chance to fix it.

Yet he hadn't been able to talk to her since she returned. The friendship they'd had before then was bashful but strong yet during her absence he had distanced himself from the idea of her in order to cope.

When she returned all the emotions he felt came rushing back in waves. And he was still blowing it.

•••

"I'm so tired of watching these two pine after one another." Wanda spoke suddenly, making Bucky turn toward her, dragging his gaze away from the pair.

"What do you mean?" Bucky asked, looking back at them as Wanda came to stand at his side, watching them with him.

"You mean you haven't noticed? Y/n's in love with Steve. Steve's in love with Y/n. It's agonizing to watch, really." She sighed, rather vexed with the entire situation. It was her after all who had watched them through the years. They'd known each other ever since before the accords and all that time they'd had an awkward friendship in which feelings were obvious on both ends yet neither had the courage to act.

She hated to imagine how Y/n's death might've affected him but yet it still hadn't given him the will of the courage to act. It pained her to watch the two fall back into their old ways.

"Y/n loves Steve?" Bucky mumbled, disbelief evident in his features. Wanda nodded, her eyes trailing Y/n as she made her way to Peter, who was standing haphazardly close to Steve.

"More than life itself, though she'll never admit it. I saw it when I had to enter her thoughts years ago during a mission we had in Germany." Wanda explained. She remembered the overwhelming feeling of Y/n's emotions. They crashed into her stronger than any wave could and even after all these years they were just as strong.

"Then why haven't they done anything?" Bucky asked. He looked down at her finding the same lost expression on her face that was more than likely on his.

"I don't know. Y/n told me last week the same thing she told me all those years ago. Things are too complicated and she can't risk losing him if he doesn't feel the same." Wanda quoted Y/n, her annoyance seeping through her words.

Bucky scoffed, recognizing the excuse as something very similar to Steve's and he shook his head, feeling the same defeat Wanda did. "Just like them to be too stupid to be happy." He groaned, looking up at them.

"Yeah. But hopefully when he kisses her one of them will do something." Wanda hoped her statement might encourage their boldness.

"Unless it's a repeat of spin the bottle." Bucky said, dreading the chance that it might happen. Wanda cringed, shaking her head.

"Y/n won't allow it. She takes the game too seriously." She replied, more to convince herself than Bucky. It was true. Y/n would get Steve to kiss her whether it was for the win or her own motives. That is if her nerves didn't take over.

"Let's hope."

•••

"Well, if it isn't Spiderman." Y/n called out, grabbing Peter's attention. He smiled brightly, finally being called by his preferred name and not Spiderboy.

"Ms. Y/n! What-what are you doing here?" Peter's sore attempt at small talk made him wince but thankfully Y/n didn't seem to mind, looking down at his glass.

"Just mingling. Whatcha drinking?" She asked curiously, wondering if Tony had allowed the poor boy a drink while dealing with all the people who no doubt asked him millions of questions regarding his presence and age.

"Sprite. Mr. Stark said he can't allow me to 'drink and swing'." Peter adjusted his glass, using his fingers as quotations before letting out a short giggle at the phrase.

Y/n laughed as well, trying to appear relaxed as she felt a certain pair of eyes on her. Steve was standing just a few feet away with Tony, not within earshot but close enough to send butterflies to her stomach. With each kiss she collected she felt more and more anxious knowing eventually she'd reach Steve. Was she ready for that?

"Well, that simply won't do. It's a party, Peter, and I can't allow you to not drink. When I was your age Tony was slipping me drinks left and right, it's only fair I pass on the tradition." She explained, leaning forward carefully as her hand brushed his.

He blushed, his eyes widening like saucers as she skillfully slipped his glass out of his hand, replacing it with her own. Glancing at Tony as if expecting to be caught, he was relieved to find his father figure blissfully unaware of their treachery.

"Ms. Y/n, I really shouldn't-"

"Don't worry, I'll drive you home if you're that worried. I got you bro." Y/n promised, nudging his arm with a kind smile. "Now tell me you've at least tried champagne. You've been to like three of these parties now." She laughed her smile growing as he joined in.

"Yeah, well, I mean a little bit from my Aunt May's glass." Y/n shook her head, putting her hand on his shoulder, a dramatic look of sorrow on her face.

"My poor boy. I have many things to share with you. Speaking of which, Shuri is asking if you're coming with me to Wakanda next week." Y/n sipped the soda watching as Peter's fingers danced happily against his own glass.

"Really?! I mean, of course! If you want me to. I've never been, what's it like?" Peter rambled, his face lit up in excitement, making Y/n chuckle at how thrilled the boy was.

"You'll see soon enough. I'll come get you next Friday and bring your suit, I'm sure Shuri would love to tinker with it." Y/n advised. Peter nodded wildly, psyched for such a trip.

"Thank you, Ms. Y/n." Peter grinned. Y/n wrapped an arm around his shoulders turning him in the direction of where Tony was standing.

"Peter, Y/n is fine. Trust me, I'm one of the few people in this world who know what it's like to have Tony as a father figure and anyone who can handle that is okay in my book." Y/n laughed, pointing at the man in question.

As if sensing their shit talking, Tony turned around, catching sight of them. A suspicious glare was sent their way but Y/n could hardly notice it as another figure stepped into view, following Tony's gaze.

It was then that they were forced to look at one another head on. Not at a glance or a sneaky peek. They might as well have been standing in front of one another as they both froze.

If Y/n's heart decided to stop in that instant, she wouldn't blame it. The pure intensity of Steve's gaze was enough to make her shudder and she fought her every molecule to stare back. There was a warmth in his eyes, one that sent a flutter of giddiness through her.

A small smile crept onto his face and Y/n gasped, forcing herself to return the gesture and not just gawk at him. She was at a loss for words. It was the first time since Thanos that he had given her any sort of acknowledgement. While it hurt that their friendship had seemed to diminish while she'd been gone, she knew that rekindling it was a two way street. But now he was smiling at her. And she was smiling back.

She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath until Peter stepped in front of her, his hands resting on her shoulders and his brows furrowed in concern. "Y/n? Are you okay?" His voice was soothing and it helped her recover her loss of breath from her moment with Steve.

"Huh? Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Just...uh, thinking." She mumbled, her eyes drifting back to Steve once more. His smile had faltered slightly, his face beginning to match Peter's concern but with a small curve of her lips, she assured him that his worry was senseless.

"About the game?"

"Hmm?" Y/n questioned, directing her attention to the boy once more. Peter eyed his glass carefully before taking a cautious sip.

"The game you play with Ms. Natasha and Ms. Wanda. You're playing, right? I saw you earlier with Thor." He explained. Y/n's face flushed, a little embarrassed that her moment with Thor had been witnessed by someone she knew. What if Steve saw? Would he be jealous?

Y/n nearly shook her head, convincing herself that she wasn't worth being jealous over. Especially to Steve.

"Oh, yeah. We are. That reminds me, you like Star Wars right?" She smirked, looking at him as she sipped his soda, the pink on his cheeks making her giggle.

"Well, yeah, I mean lots of people do. I'm not the only one-that would be weird. Unless you like it, not that you liking it would make it less weird. Not that you're not weird! Weird-"

"Peter!" Y/n laughed, putting her hand on his as she lightly brought the drink down. "Whew boy, maybe alcohol isn't your thing. Then again you've always been a rambler." She gently took the drink back from him, watching as a wave of relief washed over him.

"Have you eaten yet? I think there's hors d'oeuvres around here somewhere." She muttered, glancing around for any servers. Peter shook his head accepting his soda back before looking back up at her.

"No I'm okay, really." He told her, his heart warming at how much she seemed to care. It was nice and he enjoyed his relationship with Y/n. She allowed him to do things with her like travel, patrol, even hang out in the lab and she quickly became another idol of his.

"Are you thinking of watching Star Wars?" He asked her, referring to her previous question. She smiled, shaking her head.

"No, I've already seen it, I'm just thinking of a pick up line for the game. Tonight's rules are if you like my line I get a kiss and I fully intend on winning tonight." Peter nearly choked on air as his eyes widened yet again.

"A kiss? From me?" Y/n giggled, tapping her finger to her cheek.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Parker. A kiss on the cheek will do." She teased, making his face impossibly redder. He shook his head frantically trying to display as best he could that it wasn't his intention.

"I'm kidding. Now are you ready to hear my cheesy pick up line or will I just have to forfeit?" Peter's head didn't seem to stop shaking as he urged her to continue. "Alright here goes."

"Hey, sweetheart. Do you like Star Wars cause Yoda only one for me." With a wink she smiled, enjoying the scrunch of Peter's nose as he cringed at the line.

"Not doing it for ya?" She laughed. Peter scoffed, trying to hide the smile that threatened to show.

"I hate to admit it, but it was kinda funny." He sighed, ashamed to have enjoyed such a horrible line. Y/n's grin grew, pointing to her cheek once more.

"Then pay up. I've got two more kisses to collect." Peter smiled, leaning forward and pecking the space her finger had been. "Thank you. Now find someone to mess with. I won't be the only one reeking havoc tonight." She poked a stern finger into his chest. With some convincing he eventually promised to at least pull a prank on Sam and Bucky.

With that she began to make her way to Tony. A knot formed in her stomach as she paced in his direction yet it wasn't Tony who made her nervous. No, only Steve Rogers could make her feel so squeamish and turn her legs to jelly. And she was making her way straight toward him.

Y/n could barely hear the click of her heels and the chatter of those around her over the pep talk she was giving herself in her head. She refused to embarrass herself in front of him. This was going to be her second chance and she wouldn't allow her nerves to ruin it again.

"As I live and breathe! Do I stand before Iron Man and Captain America? I do hope this isn't a dream." Steve's soft chuckle seemed to go straight to her core and she feared her heart might beat right out of her chest.

"Don't encourage her, Cap." Tony grumbled, turning his gaze to Y/n. "Well, if it isn't my favorite niece."

"Your only niece." Y/n corrected, a short glare focused on him as he smirked.

"Let me guess you're here to win the game. Let's hear it so poor Cap here can get a turn. I don't think he's kissed a woman since the 40s." Tony leaned down, whispering the last part and making Y/n giggle.

"Hey!" Steve objected in vain. But what Y/n said next sent any duty to protect his pride out the window.

"That's a crying shame. The ladies must not know what they're missing." Y/n froze as the words left her mouth. What was she thinking? Her face burned and she hid behind her glass trying to muffle her embarrassed groan with her champagne.

"Jeez, get a room." Steve and Y/n both glared at Tony but he didn't seem to care, instead shrugging innocently.

"Alright, here's your line you impatient ass." Y/n scoffed, deciding to use a particularly bad line for the annoying man she dared call her father figure.

"Was that it?" He smirked.

"Shut up, I gotta turn around and approach this again or else it won't work." She hissed, earning a heartfelt laugh from Steve. Twice. She'd made him laugh twice. Her heart was practically singing at the thought. Maybe she'd actually get to kiss him?

With more determination than before, she turned around, taking a few steps away before dramatically turning back to them. Using theatrics she no doubt learned from Tony Stark himself, she put on a smile before holding her arms out in a grand gesture.

"Well I'm here, what's your next two wishes?"

"That was horrendous." Tony said almost immediately while Steve tried to contain his laughter behind them.

"Well, I couldn't very well waste my best lines on you now could I?" Y/n jested, taking the glass in his hand and pouring what remained of his drink into her now empty glass.

Tony's teasing expression fell as he painfully watched Y/n sip her glass. "I can't believe you're related to me." Y/n smiled back at him proudly.

"Only by marriage." She shrugged. Tony sighed, leaning down and pressing a fatherly kiss to her forehead just along her hairline.

"Thank god." He ignored Y/n's squinted stare, turning to Steve. "I think I'm going to go get another drink, since mine was so blatantly stolen." Tony glanced at Y/n who shamelessly smirked.

"But first I wanna hear your pick up line for Cap. Please be something patriotic. Maybe sing him the national anthem." He suggested, nudging Steve forward to where he stood before Y/n.

Not expecting Tony's push, Steve stumbled nearly crashing into Y/n but thankfully he caught himself, only having a redder face than before.

"I'm not sure the national anthem is a pick up line, Tony." Y/n replied, focusing on anything but Steve. At this distance she could smell the familiar cologne and feel the heat radiating from him. It reminded her all too much of the days before the snap. When he'd hold her whenever she was hurt or when he'd pick her up to launch her toward an enemy. Reminded her of the few hugs they'd managed to share.

Reminded her of their last before she dusted in his arms.

"I don't know. He's really horny for America, it might work." Tony refuted, earning a threatening gaze from both Steve and his niece.

"Fine, y'know what? Have privacy or whatever in the middle of this crowded party. See if I care." Tony said, a little butt hurt that he wouldn't be able to witness the awkward exchange first hand.

He was no idiot when it came to his niece's attraction to the super soldier. While at first he disapproved, even more so when it led to her being on the opposite side that day in Berlin, years had led to forgiveness. He couldn't really stay mad at her even if he tried. Only sorry he hadn't apologized before the snap.

"Thank you, Tony." Y/n spoke quietly, sending him a grateful look. Whatever was about to happen already made her nervous, she didn't think doing it with Tony there would be possible.

"Yeah, yeah." He waved a dismissive hand, beginning to walk away.

It wasn't until he had Morgan that he realized he was already a father. Y/n had been his first and no matter his guilt, she would always forgive him. Always need him.

"Don't get carried away." He threatened suddenly, pointing to his eyes before twisting his hand back to them with a menacing squint.

Y/n rolled her eyes, looking back to Steve as Tony finally left.

"He's protective." Y/n explained, trying to be annoyed. It was actually kinda touching the way he cared despite his usual selfish smartass exterior.

"For good reason." Steve agreed, making Y/n's head tilt confused.

"You think I can't take care of myself?" She questioned defensively, ready to prove her worth no matter who he was.

"No, of course you can. Just-..." He trailed off, a sorrowful expression taking hold of his features against his will. "We've both failed you before. Numerous times." Steve confessed, his eyes falling downcast as Y/n realized what he'd meant.

She’d never truly thought about how her absence might have affected him. Before the snap he never gave any hint that he wanted to be more than a friend to her. But now she studied that look in his eye, that one she hadn’t recognized before. Heartbreak.

"Steve, you didn't fail me." She insisted. Her hand had come to his own, grasping lightly at his loose fingers and ignoring the buzz in her skin and the rapid pace of her heart.

"No, I did. I turned you against your family. I got you arrested. I dragged you back into the fight and...you got snapped away." His voice broke at the end, years of depression and misery washing over him all over again.

"It wasn't your fault. We all lost that day." Y/n argued but her words didn't seem to stick.

"I'll never forgive myself." Steve's words were barely above a whisper, each syllable falling further into him unable to escape.

The sight alone made her heart ache but it was the way he'd spoken that truly shook her. They were the words of a broken man, a man that had lost it all. Had she done that to him? Did he care about her like that? Maybe he was scared too.

“Well, it's a good thing I already did.” Y/n smiled hoping to bring back the smile that she'd been able to give him moments before. Her hand stayed planted to his own more terrified to release it than she was to keep holding it. Would she ever work up the courage to do it again?

Steve looked back up at her, a tender glimmer in his eye as he moved his hand to hold her own. “I missed you.”

The statement alone wasn't nearly enough to convey how much he'd longed for her in those five years, left without any hope of ever getting her back. Didn’t show her the sleepless nights or the endless tears. Didn’t show her first few years he spent, alone and secluded. Didn’t show her how many times he prayed to any god that would listen for them to bring her back.

But her eyes seemed to tell him that she understood. Y/n knew exactly how he felt even if she'd been relieved of it for five years. She remembered when she was arrested, screaming at the guards that they'd never find Steve. Remembered the sobs that racked through her when he came to free her, relieved he’d made it out of the war safely. Remembered their time on the run, unable to tell him how she felt. Remembered volunteering to stay with Bucky when Steve's worry became too much. Remembered him coming back and bring a war with him. Remembered him catching her before she dusted, too fast for her to tell him her greatest truth.

She loved him.

“I missed you too.” She said softly, her face burning under his gentle gaze. They’d become so unbearably close at that point, making her breath ragged and her heart race.

Clearing her throat, she looked away, trying not to reveal how flustered he made her. “So do you wanna hear my pick up line or not?” She once again changed the subject, making Steve smile at her lovingly.

“Definitely.” He replied.

“Alright. On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?” She gave him the first one that came to find, silently groaning when she realized she'd done exactly what Tony suggested. Curse their horribly similar minds.

"That's terrible." Steve chuckled, staring at her with adoration unlike he'd ever done before. She was absolutely perfect in his eyes and he refused to waste anymore time being scared.

"You didn't like that? I have more." Y/n rambled, oblivious toward Steve's affectionate gaze. "Can I tie your shoes? I don't want you falling for anyone else."

Steve laughed, shaking his head as he stepping forward and shifting his hand to her waist as he pulled her closer.

The action on flustered her further, dragging another pick up line out of her. "Or I like your last name, can we share it?"

Steve's smile grew, his heart swelling with each word. He loved listening to her lines even if they were cheesy. But he was determined now and he wouldn't let either of their nerves stop them anymore.

"I lost my number, can I have-"

Suddenly he leaned forward, cutting her sentence short as his lips latched onto her own.

The kiss was so tender she practically melted in his arms, her hand coming to his chest while the other shifted to behind his neck, her fingers filtering through the lower part of his hair. His grip around her waist tightened as his heart pounded under her palms, the aftermath of anticipation rushing through his chest.

It was effortless the way they molded together and it left him breathless. He couldn't believe he'd never just kissed her before and after believing all these years he'd never get the chance to, he was so grateful to have her now.

"I've waited too long for that. I think I'm gonna need interest." Y/n gasped as they pulled away her eyes half lidded as she tried to process what had happened.

"Was that another pick up line?" Steve's brows furrowed, his lips a beautiful shade of darker pink.

Y/n smiled up at him, pulling him close once more. "Shut up."

•••

"Who's gonna tell her she didn't win?" Wanda questioned suddenly, glancing over at Nat.

Sam raised his hands in surrender, passing off the duty as soon as possible to avoid any type of rage the woman might've wreaked on him.

"I don't think she'll really care at this point." Nat spoke, pointing a finger toward the couple across the room.

They didn't seem to care that they were in a room full of people, instead remaining engrossed in each other as they stared at each other lovingly. It was touching really but what Nat assumed to be their confessions had lost Y/n the game.

"Wait does this mean the games with stop?" Sam questioned suddenly.

"No, it'll just make them more interesting." Nat smirked.

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jd-loves-everyone · 4 years

Text

UNO

➤ Recording your newest youtube video and talking back to your boyfriend, Chan, ends up getting you into a lot more trouble than you expected.

➤ genre: smut

➤ wc: 2.3K (well this got long)

➤ warnings: dom!chan, sub!reader, minor preparation (be very careful or you could get hurt), use of the color system, dirty talk, power imbalance, finger sucking, explicit language, strength/size kink(?), mentioned aftercare.

➤ a/n: Yes I have a youtube channel. No, I am not self-projecting (maybe just a little bit :)) Also, please tell me what you thought about this because I haven’t written smut in nearly a year so I’m not sure if I like this, plus english isn’t my first language so let me know if anything doesn’t make sense :)

Perhaps pushing your boyfriend, Chan, wasn't the best idea. No matter the situation. But, in your defense Felix had taken you telling him to "suck my nonexistent dick" quite well, so what you told Chan wasn't THAT bad. At least in comparison. But perhaps it had been the seemingly endless build up to it that made him blow a fuse.

You had recently found out that videos of playing Uno with friends were not only fun, but also extremely popular. So it seemed like a great way to spend your Friday afternoon with Chan, Felix and Jisung, while also recording a video that would no doubt be entertaining.

It was no secret to anyone that all the boys were quite competitive (in various degrees, but all very competitive nonetheless), and to anyone that watched you play any sort of game it was also no secret that you were very competitive as well.

So, everyone you had invited to participate were people who could: speak English, were competitive and got frustrated quickly, which would all hopefully make for a pretty funny video. What you didn't account for was your own (unexpectedly) short temper and unfiltered vocabulary, all probably due to the presence of a microphone.

And so, with Chan in the next room in your house, you in your office and Felix and Jisung in their own houses, the game began. It started pretty slow, with everyone getting used to the setting and the game, but all eventually loosened up after the first "f bomb" was dropped. From there followed many minutes of frustrated yelling that rapidly grew in volume every time someone screwed someone else over. It seemed most prevalent between you and Chan though. And with every card he played to make you lose, your playfulness dissipated. Chan had tolerated your bratty behavior for most of the game, but that statement was the last straw.

“That’s it. You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.” You deadpanned amidst Felix and Jisung’s booming laughter, after your boyfriend made you pick up 4 more cards just as you were about to win. The silence that followed from his side should have made it clear to you that a line had been crossed. But you barely noticed as Chan seemed to go back to his normal self not long after.

The game continued normally and you ended it after getting enough footage for a video, ending the recording and saying goodbye to your friends and moving to Chan’s office.

Upon seeing him sitting in his chair, facing his computer, you decided to move towards him quietly to surprise him, given your current good mood. As you reached him you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, burying your face in the side of his neck and filing it with loud kisses.

The last thing you expected was for him to grasp your wrist tight enough to make a point: that he wasn’t pleased. With something you had done, most likely. Most definitely, otherwise he’d be telling you about his frustrations and not keeping vice-like grip on your hand.

“Chan?” You asked, oh-so innocently. It almost made him snicker. Instead he turned his chair around, tugging you forward to stand in between his spread legs, staring at you with fire in his eyes. Meanwhile you wracked your brain for the reason as to what you had done to make him mad.

“I’m a little disappointed with my baby girl today. You know why?” His voice was dangerously low, and suspiciously devious. You were almost sure he was doing this just to toy with you because he knew you loved it.

You furrowed your brows in concentration. What could it have been? None of what you had said or done seemed unusual or out of line. Maybe his patience was running low today? Perhaps there were simply so many little things that could be considered “mistakes” on your part, for you to figure out what the catalyst was.

"You don't know, do you?" He chuckles mockingly, his hold on your wrist loosening, lulling you into a false sense of security.

“I’m disappointed with my baby girl, because she was being a brat all game. Talking back to me with that attitude, trying to convince everyone you were in control. But we both know you’re not. I even let most of it slip since it was for the video, but I feel like perhaps you forgot who’s in control here. I also think that you were enjoying being on top for once, too much.” Chan spoke huskily, rising from the chair and looking down at your form.

“Maybe I need to show you who’s in charge.” He said absentmindedly, placing his hand on your cheek and stroking your bottom lip with his thumb, smiling softly when your lips parted to let his finger through. You licked it softly, hoping to please him. He saw right through you immediately, smirking as he pressed his thumb down on your tongue, making your mouth open wider. Saliva pooled at the bottom due to the dominant presence he exuded and the darkness in his gaze which promised an eventful night.

"Go to the bedroom, take your clothes off and maybe I'll think about going easy on you." He whispered, stepping back to give you space. Strangely enough, without his scent surrounding you, you felt dazed and somewhat cold.

But you hurried to carry out his order. Part of you wanted to push him just a little more, just to test him. But another, bigger part, just wanted to be his good girl.

You felt exposed and vulnerable as you stood in front of the bed, naked and waiting for Chan to step through the bedroom door. As he did, you felt goosebumps appear all over your skin as he looked you up and down appreciatively. You tried covering yourself as he made his way to you. He had seen you naked before (and in much more compromising positions) but the way his predatory gaze traced every one of curves, taking you in as if it was the first time, every time, just set fire to the blood in your veins and cheeks.

“Why are you hiding, baby? You seemed so confident just a few minutes ago. Where has all that attitude gone?” Chan taunted, taking his clothes off painfully slowly before sitting against the headboard, watching you with those keen eyes. Even if you were both naked, you felt nowhere near out of his grasp. All the muscles now exposed to you made your mouth water, just at the sight of his statuesque body that he worked so hard for, covered by marble-like skin.

“Come closer baby. Don’t get all shy now.”

You moved forward meekly, crawling until you were knelt in front of him, trying so hard to not let your eyes drop down to follow his v-line down to his cock. It was so enticing every time that it took all your willpower to keep his lustful gaze. He smirked, as if noticing your struggle.

"You're in the wrong spot, baby. I want to sit right here." He said as he patted both his thighs. "Since you like being on top so much, I want you to ride me. You do all the work this time. Because you're only coming tonight if you work for it."

The cockiness in his voice made you shiver in anticipation.

You crawled forward once more, straddling his lap and squirming at the feeling of him rubbing against your already dripping folds. Even though this persona of his never failed to get you wet enough for him to slide himself in smoothly, you knew the stretch would still be a bit painful, which perhaps was his intention.

He cupped your cheek in his hand gently, looking at you with unveiled concern despite his lust-blown pupils.

“Color?” He asked carefully, stroking your flesh soothingly as you leaned into the touch, making him smile fondly.

“Green. But, please go slow.” You replied once the fog in your mind cleared, looking your loving boyfriend in the eyes, deeply appreciative of his carefulness. He patted you cheek softly, nodding, before the switch flipped and he was back to his darker self, no more gentleness left in his gaze, hands grabbing you hips tightly and jerking you against him slightly. You jumped in surprise, letting out a whimper at the feeling of his hard member against you. He sent you a look as if to say: 'get to it'.

You slowly trailed your hand down your body as Chan stared unabashedly, before he grabbed your hand.

"No no. You seemed so eager to finish during the game. So why don't you just get to it?" He said lowly, scratching his nails on your thighs before groping the flesh harshly.

Not wanting to contradict him anymore, you grabbed his cock in your hand, spreading your essence on him, before positioning him at your entrance.

As you slowly sat on him, his breathing became harsh and labored, and you winced and whimpered at the stretch. It burned slightly but it wasn’t nearly as painful as the first time had been since you were going slow enough to adjust to his size. But it seemed as if Chan was struggling quite a bit,

He leaned his head back, neck on full display as his jaw clenched, trying his best to hold himself back from thrusting up into you. You realized that this was not only a punishment for you but also for him. Perhaps his plan backfired? Or perhaps he had planned this but realized he actually wouldn’t be able to hold himself back in a few minutes. Only time could tell.

Your eyes locked onto the prominent veins just under his fair skin, looking so inviting that you just couldn’t resist the urge to suck a blot of red onto his neck making him groan as he moved inside you as you leaned towards him. His grip on your hips tightened.

“Fuck! You’re so tight!” He said breathlessly, easing the grip he had on you to let you move.

And as you felt as if the pain had passed, you held onto his shoulders tightly and started moving up and down. The feel of him rubbing against your walls was almost too much as you could feel every bump and vein of his cock as you clenched experimentally. It made Chan let out a startled moan, probably louder than he intended as his cheeks reddened for more than exertion, eyes rolling back at the feeling.

Upon seeing the effect you had on him you got a sudden boost in confidence, riding him with fervor, determined to do your best and get more of those delicious reactions out of him.

The room filled with the sound of skin slapping as you bounced on his lap making more euphoric noises spill from Chan’s throat. You were in a similar state, the position allowing him to hit every sweet spot inside you, making you emit countless moans and whimpers.

You felt your orgasm build, tears gathering in your eyes at the overwhelming feeling of being so close but so far from the finish line, but being unable to reach it as your thighs became sore from smacking against Chan and fatigue started to weaken your limbs. You let out frustrated whimpers as you held onto his shoulders tight enough for your fingers to go white from pressure, which made Chan groan.

“Chan please! I can’t… anymore…” You begged breathlessly as your movements slowed down.

“Ah, fuck it.” He said, taking hold of your hips before flipping you onto your back without separating your bodies. He settled between your widely spread legs, pushing his hips forward with all the strength he had been holding back, grunting with effort.

“Poor baby. Can’t even make yourself cum without my help, huh? Not strong enough to handle it, are you?” He spoke smugly as your moans became louder and louder at his words.

Your breasts moved in tandem with his movements, attracting his attention which made him lean forward to take one of your enticing nipples into his warm and wet mouth. With the way your voice kept rising in volume, you knew your neighbors couldn’t be too happy.

“Are you close baby? Are you gonna cum for me?” He said as he took his mouth off of your chest, revealing the erotic sight of his saliva covering your nipple sloppily.

“Y-Yes! So close, Chan please.” You didn’t know what you were pleading for but Chan seemed pleased with your response as he pressed his lips against yours, trying but not fully succeeding in muffling your noises, as his hand trailed towards your center to rub your clit harshly which gave you that extra push.

As you tipped over the edge, barreling towards an overwhelming orgasm that made a few tears spill from your eyes, you clenched impossibly tight around Chan’s cock making him break the kiss, moaning and groaning openly into your mouth as you did the same.

Your breathing slowly returned to normal as you felt Chan’s sticky essence drip out of your hole as he pulled out, an image wished seemed to have captured his attention as he openly gazed at you red and spent pussy. Despite all that you had already done, and with the haze of lust no longer present, you blushed at his laser focused eyes set on your dripping core.

“I’ll never get tired of this.” He whispered almost to himself, smirking at your flushed and pouty face.

“Let’s get cleaned up, alright baby?” He said as he kissed your forehead gently.

“Just one thing Chan.” He tilted his head cutely, to show that he was listening. “Next time, try to not be such an asshole and maybe I’ll be nice in return.”

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