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dreamwritesimagines · 3 months

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The Eye of the Hurricane [4] - Spark

A.N: Here’s the new chapter my loves! ❤️ I hope you’ll like it, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤️

Summary: A quiet night on the rooftop holds new promises.

Word Count: 3500

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

“I’m not saying my best friend in the entire world betrayed me, but I’m kind of tempted to change her name into Brutus in my contacts.”

“Just because she cancelled on this dinner you mentioned?”

“It’s a tradition at this point,” you said, leaning back on the couch. “Us and the Barnes family get together every two months, we’ve started it way before my mom passed away. I get that it’s the bachelorette party of her friend’s sister, but still!”

Dr. Cooper smiled calmly.

“Are you nervous because Bucky is going to be there?”

Your head shot up and you forced a nonchalant laugh.

“Bucky doesn’t make me nervous,” you said, the words coming out of your mouth in a rush and she raised her brows.

“Doesn’t he?”

“He annoys me,” you pointed out. “There’s a difference.”

“I can see that,” she said. “And why does he annoy you?”

Your eyes snapped up at hers and you shifted your weight on the couch.

“We have history.”

She hummed. “What kind of history?”

You nibbled on your lip, your stomach doing a flip at the memory but you pushed it to the back of your mind, rolling your shoulders back.

“Let’s change the subject.”

She thought for a moment, then put aside her notebook to with a sigh.

“Y/N,” she said. “We’ve been having these therapy sessions for three months now, am I correct?”

“Yes,” you said. “Sarah Wilson recommended you, she’s a good friend of mine.”

“And you were seeing Dr. Phillips before?”

“No offense to Dr. Phillips but I don’t think we were a good match.”

She nodded.

“That can happen,” she said. “But I just need to make sure you understand that if these therapy sessions are going to work, you will have to step out of your comfort zone sometimes.”

“Oh, therapy isn’t in my comfort zone,” you said with a wave of your hand. “You’d think it would be, after years and years of experience but…”

“I’m aware this is not what you want to hear but for us to make progress, you will have to be open with me,” she said. “Instead of changing the subject all the time.”

You smiled. “I don’t think me being completely open with you is in your best interest.”

“Why not?”

“Just a hunch,” you stated, your voice completely flat and she hummed.

“How about this?” she said. “Perhaps you could just try sharing something small with me. I’m not saying you have to share every single thing if you’re not comfortable with it, but…maybe something that happened recently and how you reacted to it?”

For some reason, “Someone tried to shoot me a week ago” didn’t feel like it was a great conversation starter so you leaned back, looking up at the ceiling to come up with something.

“I’ve recently found myself in sort of an… unideal situation,” you ended up saying and she nodded her head.

“That’s a wonderful start,” she said. “Can you elaborate?”

“Someone acted very rude towards me the other night when I was having dinner with a friend from college,” you said. “And I was annoyed at how inconsiderate it was to pull that shit when I was in the middle of something. Like what, you couldn’t wait an hour or so to do this on my way back home?”

“How did you react when it happened?”

“I didn’t get to react much because Bucky placed himself in that situation as well.”

“He was there?”

“Passing by,” you spat, “Anyway, he got involved and the situation was resolved pretty fast.”

“In disagreements like these,” she said. “It’s incredibly important that we make our stance and boundaries clear.”

You pursed your lips. “I don’t disagree.”

“So this inconsiderate person you speak of, would you say they know how you feel about the issue?”

You repressed a smile, then leaned back, crossing your legs.

“I think so,” you said. “I expressed very clearly how I felt about the issue and now, well…I’m very certain that they won’t do it again.”

Normally you didn’t mind these dinners mainly because you and Becca would have a lot of fun once the dinner was over. George and Winnifred had always been nice to you and Winnifred had more than once said you were family, seeing that you and Becca were inseparable even when you were little.

And you were hoping Bucky would be busy the whole night so you wouldn’t have to spend the night delivering snarks back and forth.

Ian sipped his wine while you texted Becca under the table, complaining about how she should have been there for the hundredth time since the morning before you lifted your glances from the phone.

“Becca gives her regards, everyone.”

“Oh thank you sweetheart,” your father said. “Will she not be joining us then?”

“There’s apparently her friend’s bachelorette party?” Winnifred asked, turning to you as if she wanted to be sure and you nodded.

“Her friend’s sister’s bachelorette,” you said helpfully and George smiled slightly.

“And when will we see your bachelorette, sweetheart?”

“George!”

“Not soon I hope,” your father said with a chuckle and you waved a hand in the air.

“Definitely not soon,” you said and Ian played with his fork.

“I don’t know,” he said with a scoff. “You keep dating civilians, one of them will ask you to marry them sooner or later.”

Your head snapped up and a silence fell upon the table. George and Winnifred exchanged glances and your father raised his brows.

“Y/N?”

You narrowed your eyes. “Ian doesn’t know what he’s talking about as always.”

“Oh is that right?”

“Our Y/N is a very beautiful girl,” Winnifred said as if trying to de-escalate the situation. “Civilian or not, I’m not surprised many people are interested.”

You offered her a thankful smile and turned to your father.

“I’m not dating civilians,” you assured him. “Or anyone right now.”

“But you know the rules,” your father said. “Any civilian you decide to date has to go through the background check.”

“With good reason,” George pointed out before taking his fork to his mouth and you hummed.

“Yeah yeah, I remember the whole speech.”

“Bucky and Becca got that speech as well.”

“They apparently needed it,” Winnifred said. “I mean do you remember Bucky’s ex girlfriend? Dot?”

That familiar bitterness of jealousy churned your stomach and you pursed your lips, then reached out for your wine glass.

“Were you here around that time sweetheart?” George asked you. “Or were you still away for college?”

The music was booming through the club as you walked back to the bar from the bathroom with Becca, and you looked around for your date as Becca motioned at the bartender, then turned her head when Steve touched her shoulder.

“Hi there.”

“Hey!” Becca kissed him on the cheek and you smiled at him.

“Hi Steve,” you said, taking your cocktail from the bartender. “Um, did you see my date anywhere?”

Steve shot you an apologetic smile. “I told him not to do it.”

Becca sucked on the straw of the cocktail, raising her brows and you frowned.

“What?”

“Bucky.”

Your jaw clenched and you gritted your teeth, putting your drink down.

“Where is he?”

“I just want to remind you that Sam has just bought this club, so he’d be pretty angry if you shot my brother tonight.” Becca pointed out, leaning sideways to Steve’s arm and Steve nodded his head.

“Wouldn’t look good for the club.”

“Where is he, Steve?”

Steve pointed upstairs. “VIP.”

You whirled around on your heels and stomped your way up the cantilever stairs, anger rushing through you. You made your way past his and Sam’s bodyguards by the door, then slammed the door open to step inside. Bucky was talking to Sam as you walked in while a gorgeous girl resting her head on his shoulder and Sam hissed in a breath.

“Uh oh,” he said. “Told you not to do it.”

“Hi Sam.”

“Hi Y/N.”

The girl lifted her head from Bucky’s shoulder as Bucky sat up straighter, and had the nerve to smile at you.

“Hi Charm.”

“Where is my date, Bucky?”

“I think he said he had something to do,” Bucky said, stealing a look at Sam. “Something urgent, right Sam? That’s what we heard.”

“Oh you’re not dragging me into this.”

“I’m sorry, who is this?” the girl asked and Bucky cleared his throat, then motioned between you and her.

“Y/N, this is Dot; my girlfriend.”

Your eyes snapped up to his, that familiar bitterness climbing up your throat but you managed to keep your expression flat.

“Dot, this is Y/N. She’s uh…she’s Becca’s best friend.”

Sam tilted his head to shoot Bucky a look of disbelief.

“You’ve just intimidated Becca’s best friend’s date into leaving the club?” Dot asked, confusion laced in her tone and Sam cleared his throat.

“They grew up together,” he explained to her. “Bucky tends to get overprotective of Y/N, kind of an old habit there.”

Dot pressed a hand on her chest.

“Aw that’s sweet!” she said. “So she’s like a sister to you, Bucky?”

Sam raised his brows as if trying to keep a straight face, then he shook his head slightly while you glared at Bucky.

“Well—” Bucky started but you cut him off.

“What did you say to him?”

“Nothing,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Just a warning. Don’t blame me if you keep dating people who are easily intimidated.”

“Who I date is none of your business.”

“You are Becca’s best friend so it makes it my business—also, you call that dancing?” he asked you. “He was feeling you up, he should be glad he walked out of here with his junk still attached to his body.”

You ran a hand over your face, then turned to Dot.

“Listen, I don’t even know you but you seem nice enough,” you said. “You probably deserve better than an asshole who thinks his dick is made of gold. You could do much better.”

With that, you walked out of the room and slammed the door behind you.

“No, they got together after I returned to the city,” you said. “Like a month after my graduation. I was here, she was pretty nice.”

“I didn’t like her,” Winnifred said and you let out a small laugh.

“And when was the last time you liked anyone he or Becca brought home?”

“When was the last time either of them brought someone I could like?” Winnifred asked back and you held up your hands with a grin, gesturing surrender.

“Daddy is the same,” you said. “But don’t worry, just in case things get serious with a partner, me and Becca came up with a great plan years ago.”

“What is it?”

“We’ll get everyone drunk,” you pointed out, coaxing chuckles out of them. “Should make things easier, at least for the first dinner.”

After dinner, you had excused yourself to go up to the swimming pool on the rooftop, so that you could enjoy the night. After their weekend house, this one was the one you liked the most among Barnes residences; it had such a lovely view of the night sky. You sipped your wine and leaned back on the lounge chair, heaving a sigh and keeping your eyes on the stars.

Becca was still partying with her friends so you were just going to enjoy some peace and quiet until it was time to go home. You loved spending time with George and Winnifred, that wasn’t the problem, but this evening you really weren’t in the mood for Ian’s bullshit. You knew very well that he knew about your date with Ethan, and though he hadn’t told your father yet, you were sure it wasn’t from the goodness in his heart.

Not that he or your father had anything to worry about. You had made sure that Ethan got a background check as your father wanted with all the civilians you dated, back at college and right before you decided to meet again two weeks back, you had done the same. It was safe, whether they approved him or not.

The sound of the door opening made you turn your head and as soon as your eyes fell upon Bucky stepping to the roof, you let out a groan.

“I thought you were busy.”

“I was,” he said, approaching you with a glass of whiskey in his hand before he sat down on the lounge chair beside yours and you stole a look at him.

“You missed dinner.”

“Mm hm. Sorry about that.”

“You never miss dinner.”

“Yeah well, wasn’t exactly my choice,” he said, making you turn a little so that you can look at him better.

“Why?”

“Overtime at the office,” he joked and you tilted your head.

“Trouble?”

“Nothing we can’t handle.”

“Does my father know?”

“He does,” he said as your phone vibrated on the small table beside you, making you check the screen.

From: Ethan

My coworkers dragged me to this café and I think you’d like it.

You smiled slightly and typed back your reply.

Well, the only way to be sure is if you invite me there the next time.

It didn’t even take him five seconds to reply back;

Lunch tomorrow?

You typed in a “Yes” and sent it, then turned the phone in your hand while Bucky lit a cigarette.

“Is that the civilian?”

“Ugh, not you too!” you whined with a grimace. “Everyone already gave me the third degree at dinner, you’d think I’m going to elope at any time.”

He shot you a light hearted glare. “They’re just worried about you sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that—and also, you’ve dated one hundred civilians, I don’t see anyone giving you speeches,” you grumbled. “It’s so hypocritical, not to mention medieval.”

Bucky chuckled, then sipped his drink.

“Well…”

“I don’t know why everyone keeps acting like the possibility of me ending up with a civilian would be a disaster.”

“Because it would be.”

“No, you know what the disaster would be?” you asked him. “Me ending up with someone from the business.”

“Oh come on—”

“Pop out a few babies, pretend I don’t know about his mistresses and go to pilates for the rest of my life,” you mused. “Dream life right there.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that and you know that,” Bucky said. “Only an idiot would cheat on you, and in case it has escaped your notice, idiots don’t live long in this line of work.”

You suppressed a smile threatening to warm your face, and instead rolled your eyes at him.

“Not worth the effort,” you said as you downed your wine, then held out your glass in his direction. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards but he still grabbed the wine bottle on the floor to fill your glass.

“Thank you.”

“As the princess wishes,” he said and you heaved a sigh, then leaned back again to look up at the sky.

“What’s going on with the business?” you asked. “Are you and Stark still on bad terms?”

“We’re playing nice,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Common interests for once.”

“I’ll pop the champagne,” you deadpanned. “He looks pretty busy; he and my father have a meeting next week as well.”

“Will Ian be there?”

You heaved a sigh. “I’d assume so.”

Bucky ran a hand over his face, then turned to you.

“Your father is not serious, is he?” he asked you. “He’s not actually going to name Ian as his successor?”

That familiar bitter taste burned your mouth but you pursed your lips together, then slipped a little on the lounge chair.

“Why are you asking me?” you asked. “Go ask him that.”

“I’m not going to do business with Ian, Charm.” Bucky told you. “If your father retires and names him the successor, that’s it.”

Your jaw dropped as you gawked at him.

“You cannot be serious,” you said. “Just because you don’t like him—”

“It’s not just that,” Bucky said. “Stark and I hate each other’s guts, but I still know he’s not going to break the truce or stab me in the back. Ian, on the other hand…”

“Ian is insufferable,” you said. “Trust me I’d know, I live with the guy. But breaking the truce is a death sentence, and he’s not an idiot.”

“I don’t trust him,” Bucky said. “Neither does Steve, or Sam.”

You massaged your temples with your fingertips. “Don’t put me in a position where I have to speak well of Ian.”

“You couldn't speak well of him if you tried,” he insisted before he took a sip of his whiskey. “Listen, I get why your father made the decision he made after your mother, but that was then. You can’t tell me you’re okay with this.”

You bit inside your cheek, swirling the wine in your glass.

“He promised it to me, Bucky,” you said through your teeth, your gaze fixed on your wine. “All those years ago. I was playing with dolls in the car and and my father pointed outside and told me that part of the city would belong to me when I grew up. So no, of course I’m not okay with the possibility of Ian being the successor.”

“Then take over.”

A small laugh climbed up your throat and you nodded at his whiskey glass. “How many of those have you had?”

“You know me better than that, I’m completely sober,” he said. “Why wouldn’t you take over?”

“Don’t you remember what went down in Massachusetts years ago?” you asked. “That family fight for the crown? They almost brought the whole city down with them, alliances got fucked, so many people died...”

“That was very different, there was no truce there.”

You clicked your tongue. “Still. It would devastate my father if I started a war in the family.”

“Ian is going to burn your father’s empire down,” Bucky told you, his piercing blue eyes locked in yours, making your heart skip a beat. “You think it won’t devastate him to watch that? If you want to be the next leader—”

“Of course I want it,” you cut him off, your whole body tense. “What I want changes nothing here.”

“Charm…”

“My father made sure I stayed out of the business since my mom,” you said. “Which was good strategy on his part, I admit. Ian on the other hand has many friends in the business and they’re completely loyal to him. He would not just hand that position to me, not when he thinks my father will name him as the successor instead of me.”

“He has his men, so what?” he asked you. “Compared to the support you would have if you wanted the crown? You have more allies than Ian.”

You blinked a couple of times, a small glimmer of hope warming your chest before you cleared your throat.

“There’s the code,” you muttered. “It’s family business. No one outside the family can get involved in the decision of who the next leader should be.”

A small smile pulled at his lips and for the thousandth time you couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was, but then you frowned down at your wine glass and put it on the small table, rolling your shoulders back.

Yeah. Enough wine for the night.

“But a powerful ally in the family would make everything much easier, wouldn’t it?” he asked and you scoffed a laugh.

“My hypothetical rise to power?” you asked. “Obviously. But either way, it’d be an uphill battle. What with the city and family and everything…”

“It doesn’t have to be,” he said without pulling his gaze off you and you felt your cheeks burn under his intense stare, but managed to keep your expression completely nonchalant.

“No?”

“Not at all.”

“And how’s that?”

Bucky swallowed thickly and downed his whiskey in one go before straightening his back. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought he was nervous but of course that was nonsense; Bucky was too arrogant to be nervous.

“Come on,” you taunted him. “Humor me, golden heir.”

“Well,” he said after a pause, turning his empty glass in his hand. “You have a point. You would have to get most of Ian’s supporters within the family, you would have to persuade your father, and considering Ian will not want to hand you the crown, that whole process would not go very peacefully. Me, Steve and Sam already support you, but the rest of the families could take some time and effort to convince. I guess some bloodshed in the city would be inevitable as well, it’d be a huge change, considering your father’s influence and power…”

You hummed. “Or?”

A smile curled his lips upwards and he took a deep breath.

“Or,” he said. “You could marry me.”

Chapter 5

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes #mob!bucky #mob!bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky x reader #mob boss!bucky #mob bucky x reader #mob boss bucky barnes #bucky x reader #mafia bucky x reader #mafia!bucky barnes #mafia!bucky #mob au #mob! bucky #mob bucky #mob bucky barnes x reader #mob!au

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freeuselandonorris · 5 months

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omfg your vore fic is life changing. hell yeah to stigmatized weird af kinks ❤️ since you’re so good at character kink psychology, i’ll throw another one in the ring for fun - thoughts on inflation? i’ve never seen it in f1 except one fic that had it i’m pretty sure unintentionally lmao

also congrats on accidentally solving an f1 dilemma: if the drivers vore each other, there are more seats left open for young drivers to join 😅

oh anon!! first, THANK YOU and i’m so glad you liked the vore fic — i was honestly shocked at what a great reception got, but i’m really fucking delighted that people like it. hell yeah INDEED to the stigmatised kink rep! and lmaoooo maybe oscar should let the FIA know about that one too, it would sure solve a lot of problems 🤔

now, inflation! this one was WAY out of my comfort zone and i have done a lot of interesting reading today instead of doing my job! there are so many facets to it and you didn’t specify a preference, so i went with liquid inflation as this scenario came to me pretty naturally — i honestly have no idea if i’ve hit the sweet spot (ahem) with this as i was so unfamiliar with it, but i definitely awoke something in myself writing it lmao. i hope you enjoy :)

sort of one-sided landoscar, but in the context of an established relationship. cw for liquid inflation (eta because i wrote this in a rush: to clarify, it’s fantasy-based, not actual inflation), curve worship, fantasised helplessness (although all fully consensual).

Oscar’s not built like any other driver Lando’s seen.

He’s strong, obviously. Stronger than Lando is, that’s for sure. But he’s also — shaped. He’s got an arse some of the underwear models of Lando’s acquaintance (or, well, former acquaintance) would be jealous of. Little waist, but his belly pushes out against the fabric of his fireproofs. The soft mounds of his tits, firm muscle covered in a light layer of flesh that Lando likes to squeeze.

Oscar’s shy about his body too, in a way Lando finds slightly odd given how they’re all used to being manhandled and grabbed by their physios, engineers, sometimes the fans when the security in the paddock is lacking. Keeps himself covered up in shorts and T-shirts until the very last minute, even when they’re fucking. Averts his eyes from his own body, preferring instead to focus on Lando’s.

It’s not that Oscar hates his body or anything, as far as Lando can tell; he’s just used to seeing it only as an object of function, not something to be desired. Even though Lando thinks he’s gorgeous, could spend hours worshipping every soft and furred camber of his strong thighs and broad chest.

Lando doesn’t know how to tell him that, express how much he loves Oscar’s curves. He tries to show it instead, spends snatched hours between free practice sessions mapping out Oscar’s body with his hands and tongue.

He daydreams about it sometimes, the words he’d use to explain it. That there isn’t enough of Oscar to contain all of the desire Lando wants to stuff him with. That he wants more of Oscar to worship.

It’s something he’s always known about himself, ever since he was a kid. But it’s never been as intense as it is around Oscar. Pale, soft Oscar, all hair and solid heft, his blurred edges and the sweet flush of his skin.

Probably Oscar wouldn’t mind it if Lando admitted it to him. He’s never minded anything else. But this one feels risky, somehow — a raw and vulnerable thing to express.

Still, he wants Oscar to know, somewhere underneath it all; he must do, because he slips up, sometimes. Just in small ways.

It had been bad in Qatar. Lando had been half-delirious anyway, staggered back into the garage after media to see Oscar propped up against the central island in the garage, hungrily sucking water from the long straw of his drinks bottle. Eyes closed in bliss, throat working as he swallowed, swallowed, swallowed.

His racesuit hung limp from his hips. Above it, Oscar’s swollen belly curved from the fabric, full and distended. Feverish, Lando told himself he could see the stretch of it, the skin taut and bouncy as a drumskin beneath his sweat-soaked fireproofs. His hands had twitched with the effort of not reaching out to check.

“Thirsty?” he’d said, smiling, trying to make a joke of it. Trying to keep his eyes on Oscar’s face and failing, drawn to the curve of his stomach like it was exerting its own gravitational pull. “Careful, you can fuck yourself up if you drink too much water.”

Oscar had slow-blinked at him, like a cat trying to make friends, left the mouthpiece of the straw resting on his bottom lip when he answered. “Kim put electrolytes in it.”

Lando had nodded, swallowed. His own mouth watered in sympathy.

“Keep going, then,” he’d said, and Oscar had smiled, sucked the straw back into his plush mouth and continued to drink.

The memory still does it for Lando, even now, months later.

He could have taken Oscar back to his room, their bodies still salty and aching. Let him curl up on his side on top of the cool sheets of Lando’s bed, let Lando fill his bottle to the brim with cool water and stir in electrolyte powder. Kneel at the side of the bed and feed the nozzle back into his mouth, stroke the damp hair back from his temples, let it curl around his fingers as Oscar sucks and sucks.

His stomach would stretch, round and tight as a ball, one smooth convex curve from ribs to hips. The inward dip of his waist hidden, overwritten by the surge of flesh.

He’d let Lando crawl onto the bed behind him, spoon Oscar’s growing body, one arm tucked beneath his armpit to hold the straw in place. Lando would slip a hand beneath his T-shirt, peeling the fabric back so he could rub soothing circles over the bulging skin. Undo his straining jeans, the zipper sliding down of its own accord from the pressure. Say something like that’s it, Osc, you’re doing so so well. Oscar would press back against him, shuddering, body lax and lush. Moaning when Lando’s hand skims his swollen nipples, cock slipping between the fat globes of his arse. Oscar’s got a nice fat cock too, a plump handful. He’d press it up against Oscar’s belly, tend to him as he lay helpless and swollen, suckling trance-like at the straw still held between his lips.

Here, let me help you with this, Lando would say to the shell of Oscar’s ear, squeezing his cock. It’ll take the pressure off. His big belly pressing Lando’s hand into the bed, barely able to rock his hips into the answering push of Lando’s hand.

He’d come like that, spilling over himself, letting Lando push his soaked fingers into his mouth and swallowing that down too. Part his lips and say more, please, eyes blank and lidded with pleasure. Lie patient and limpid while Lando scrambled off the bed and round, taking out his own cock and pushing it against Oscar’s hungry, suckling tongue, filling him impossibly more.

That’s what tips him over, spilling into the clutch of his own palm: the thought of Oscar swallowing down everything he has to give. His come the final straw, stretching the skin almost to breaking point. Oscar’s eyes closing in bliss, sleepy and sated, unable to move.

Lando keeps his eyes closed for a long time once the aftershocks have subsided, unwilling to let go of the fantasy. Finally opens his eyes, staring at the unfamiliar hotel ceiling. Outside, the dull thump of bass from the party yachts berthed along Yas Marina filters through.

He sighs, struggles to sit up, goes to wash his hands. The room is all meagre angles, cold metal and sharp, mean corners. He curls his hands into fists, feeling the emptiness inside them.

Back in the bedroom, he sits down on the edge of the bed with his phone, tabbing to his message history with Oscar.

How would u feel if i told u about something u might find gross, he sends before he can chicken out.

Oscar replies almost immediately, like he knows Lando’s waiting, nervous. About yourself? Literally nothing could surprise me anymore.

Promise u won’t get mad or tell me im a freak? Lando sends back.

Try me, Oscar replies. Then, immediately after: Well, not unless you want me to, anyway.

Lando smiles, chewing his bottom lip. Come to my room after debrief and i’ll tell u in person.

Oscar heart-reacts the message. He definitely knows Lando needs reassurance; usually he uses the thumbs-up. Lando pockets his phone, stretches the kinks from his back and goes out to the balcony, letting the last vestiges of sun warm his skin. That’s the funny thing about Oscar. Whatever love Lando has to give him, however strange its shape, he’ll always find a way to make it fit.

---

ps even though this ends on a slightly ambiguous note due to its one-sidedness, it does of course take place in my landoscar kink shared universe and so, in case anyone is worried, oscar did indeed react with a shrug and "okay, cool" and fire up "i have an inflation kink, AMA" on reddit :)

#lando norris/oscar piastri #landoscar #mctwinks #answered #prompt fill #ln4 #op81

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blacksapphhicmaddonna · 6 months

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CHAPTER ONE - WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

a/n: hey y'all! so, I tried to post this in response to the anon who asked for a snippet but I saved it as a draft and Tumblr ate it😭 SO THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU, ANON, WHOEVER YOU ARE!! sorry babes!💔💖💖💖💖

its been a minute since I've written anything fully, this was fun!!! as always, please ignore any grammar/syntax/spelling. I proof read it but you feel me. I'm super excited to be writing something so long and multi chaptered and definitely out of my comfort zone! am I an action girly now? LMFAO but anyway, I'm super open to any feedback and 👀 as always, if you wanna see sum, say sum.

anyway, I love my science gays and I will stan shuriri forever. this is pretty much all angst at this point❤️‍🩹, but I truly hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. lmk how you feel.💗 (and yes, I love a good flashback real bad and ima do it every time if I can. not too much on me LMFAO)

✮ taglist: @mybonafidefeelings@zeezeecave@gr00vyminibus@lppriceisright@darkangelchronicles@princessmel-1995@xenaizogie@nanii2x, and tagging a few folks that enjoyed the sneak peak and a few shuriri/shuri/riri folks who might! @karimwillia @inmyheadimobsessed@mal-urameshi@somethingcleaverandwhitty@imjusthere2readbruv@imagineandwrite there's more but my computer glitching so we gonna get this show on the road! lmk if you'd like to join the taglist or check the link in my tagged post! love y'all, muah

✮ word count: 11,193

✮ panther divider: @firefly-graphics

✮ some of the xhosa translations are from @iinkonde! here's where you can find some of their amazing resources: 1 2 3

Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.

A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had found its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel superimposed. She resisted, but she felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.

Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.

"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.

Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain. More than almost anything.

"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming. You had to have thought about it. I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"

"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."

"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth lately. At first, they talked a lot after they had finally reconnected. They had even spent a few nights together. But lately, Shuri had been working a lot and it seemed like their connection was running dry. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, to showing up and doing what she felt she needed to do to make up for all the ruin she had caused - or at least what she thinks she caused. And now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.

"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.

"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.

"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go to them. Don’t go to him. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? You don’t have to make this easy for him. We can figure this out a different way. Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."

Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.

"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I- I mean I just want you to-"

Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.

"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"

Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.

"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"

"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go and die? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"

"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"

"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose, there’s other ways we can handle this! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think.

"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.

"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"

"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mixing with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days and that wasn’t even true anymore. Shuri scorned herself for the time she hadn’t spent with her, for the time she had been forced to spend trying to fix, defend or save her country. She resented her royal blood now more than ever, wishing she could be nothing more than a girl again. Maybe a student. Maybe just different. Shuri felt herself starting to crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough and she knew that. She could see why Riri would think this guilt was hers to bare but Shuri knew better, knew more secrets. She knew that her father and his father and so on hadn’t handled things right, and no matter the good T’Challa had tried to do - maybe he didn’t do it right either. So now it laid in her hands, forced once again to stand in the way of something she wasn’t ready for. She felt bad for herself, but she felt worse for Riri. She wishes she had never sent her home with the beads, that they had never touched hands, that they had never even met. Maybe if no one ever knew about Vibranium, no one would be trying to take it. Or maybe if the world had always known, if her ancestors had done things differently, this wouldn’t be Riri’s life. She was part of the lost tribe, as N’Jadaka would call it. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know what to think, but she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.

"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.

Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.

"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"

Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor in front of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time in a long time. Neither missed this feeling, the feeling of such uncertainty between them. Sure, it was always there, biting at the backs of their minds and hearts. But they had both worked hard to be comfortable with just having what they had. But now more than ever, neither was sure what was really going on. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.

"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."

Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.

"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again, and part of her knew she shouldn’t do it. Equal parts yes and no. Blood on either hand, regardless of what choice she made. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe she would be exiled or worse, but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."

Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."

"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... None of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.

"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Missions that weren’t just flying around Chicago and Boston stopping robberies. And you know that something has to be done. And I can’t let this go on again when we all know it’s my fault.” Riri sighed. “We all know it is. So, please just try to hear me..."

"I have always heard you, Riri."

Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.

"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.

"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loves someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors and maybe after if she could. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.

"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.

"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."

"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She remembered what it felt like to reconnect after a long time apart. She wishes she could live in it like she had before. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."

"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.

"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Impilo yami ngeke ibe lutho ngaphandle kwakho, Riri Williams."

Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.

"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.

"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.

"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"

"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."

Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate. She had felt this way before, but it was different now.

"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"

"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"

"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.

"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"

"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had. It has been being developed for over a year, and seems to have just finished."

"What the fu-"

"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this when the AI download is complete."

Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left, she knew some Xhosa but it wasn’t great.

"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.

"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."

Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.

"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"

Griot took a moment again before answering.

"The Queen was on her way back towards Wakanda as of her last status, but it would seem she has powered off her location devices. Would you like me to contact her for you?"

Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.

"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.

"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"

"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."

"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

"Thank you, Griot."

Riri made her way to her garage in no time, paying no mind to the world around her or the messages on her phone from MJ about their project. When she got there, she did decide to shoot her a quick text explaining that she was heading home to Chicago for a family emergency, that MJ could find her portion already done on a small drive in her room and that she had permission to break in, and that she would make it up to her later. MJ did reply, but Riri didn’t have time for that. She got to work, with the help of Griot, or the portion of him that she was allowed to operate, and booted up her own AI and implemented it into her nano suit. The one from wakanda was on its way but wouldn’t be there in time. Thankfully, she didn’t have to meet with Namor for another day and a half. She needed to think quickly but after working everything out with her suit, she was unsure where to go from there.

“Griot, can I use both you and VIV?”

“Yes, but you likely will not need me once the AI is turned on. I will be there when you need me, though Miss Riri.”

“Thank you Griot.” Riri smiled to herself, always fond of Griot and their robot voice. It made her think about the time she spent in the lab with Shuri, where they would borderline argue and Riri would laugh at them. This brought back that pang in her stomach and chest. She got to work on turning on and engaging with the AI so that it could mold to her needs, voice and patterns. After about an hour, she felt ready to head off. Except she had no idea how to get to Wakanda, let alone how to get in. She ruffled through her bookbag to find the information Namor had sent for her. A small teal envelope with her name on it, looking like it was written with a quill and ink. She shuddered at the thought of how old this man was and how intentional he had been to get this note to her. She opened it and read over it again, hoping to find more information than last time. Then, an idea came to mind.

“Hey VIV, and Griot, not that I don’t think you can handle it by yourself VIV. But uh, can you both scan this for me? I don’t have my Black light. Look for anything and everything. Cross reference what you find, if anything. Please.”

“Yes IronHeart.” “Yes, Miss Riri.” They both answered in tandem. While they got to work, Riri sat down finally to think about what she could do. She couldn’t exactly call up the avengers to help her figure this out. She had to be lowkey, she had to be smart, and she needed it to work. She had only been to Wakanda once, and wasn’t really in the know about how to travel there let alone get through the border forcefield. As she went over all she did know, trying to remember any details that would help, the AI duo alerted her.

Griot speaking first, since VIV seemed to sense a deeper trust from the IronHeart’s patterns.

“There are markings on the back that would indicate a geolocation where Namor would like you to meet.”

“So, coordinates? I can work with that.” Riri said out loud, still trying to figure out exactly how she could work with that. Until she looked over at her father’s red car, in pristine condition thanks to Shuri. And it dawned on her.

“Griot, do you have contact information for anybody besides Shuri?”

“I have contact information for Queen Shuri, and Okoye, former general of the Dora Milage.”

“Perfect. Please contact her now.”

“Yes, Miss Riri.”

“Wait, before you do, please transfer this contact information over to VIV. I’m not sure if Shuri knows that I have VIV yet, but in case she does, I don’t doubt that she would shut you down.” Riri explains to her favorite robot as if they needed it. Griot complied and sent a call out to Okoye.

Riri waited, holding her breath. She wasn’t sure is Okoye would answer, or even be willing to help. But this is what she had to work with.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Okoye answered.

“Small girl. Is everything alright?” Okoye answered seeming cheerful enough to hear from the girl but not without worry for the cause. Riri took a deep breath and explained the situation, truthfully, to the best of her ability. Somehow, as a surprise to both of them, Okoye was on her way in a matter of minutes as a Midnight Angel, with a jet that Shuri had let her keep. They both knew Shuri would be upset, but somehow it didn’t matter enough to let her get to Namor. They both knew what could happen, and what Shuri would likely do.

No time was wasted when Okoye arrived, Riri running in the open hatch as fast as she could. Okoye pulled off without a trace, both of them hoping they hadn’t alerted any American law enforcement this time.

Okoye charted course for Wakanda and they both sat in near silence for most of the ride, only sharing a few words when Riri boarded, Riri showing Okoye the letter before she began piloting. They would make it in time. Riri sat near the back, not feeling like she belonged at the mantle of the machine. She had always liked these, having begged Shuri to teach her how to fly one before they set off for war. Riri sunk into her feelings that she had been trying to keep at bay since finding out about the AI. Before Shuri came, she honestly really wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. But it seemed like the timing would suggest that she was supposed to, whether she really wanted to believe that or not. She didn’t want to believe that she was this horrible monster who brought death and destruction with her everywhere she went, but sometimes she really did. She tried to fight those thoughts back and began to feel the weight of her body, sinking into the seat. Sinking was a familiar feeling to her. She tried to remember how to swim in her own thoughts. She remembered how Shuri would talk her through her episodes. How she would call right away when she sensed anything off, even if Riri wasn’t wearing her beads. She remembered how it felt to think everything would be okay, and how often that was proved to be untrue.

It was too easy to remember. Too easy to feel like it was just yesterday. Riri couldn't keep her mind from wandering back in time while the Wakandan jet made its way through the air. Trying to focus on anything else, trying to pay attention to the Dora silently flying or guarding the exit, trying to watch the sky around her. Anything. She couldn't bite down hard enough on the inside of her cheek, leaving a sore mark wasn't enough to keep her mind from its current occupation.

"What are you doing here?!" The shorter of the two screamed, almost screeched as she ran into the panther's arms.

"I had some time to myself finally. Where else would I go?" Shuri chuckled as she picked the scientist up.

"You could literally go anywhere in the world and probably... out of the world? At this point with Wakandan tech." Riri explained, seriously, as she hung onto the slim but toned body holding her off the ground with ease, not realizing she was holding on as tight as she was. Not realizing there was nowhere else Shuri would have gone. Nowhere.

"You're so... anyway, what should we do?"

"How long do we have?" Riri asked as she pulled back, not even trying to contain her wide grin that was plastered across her face. Shuri recorded it to memory, as she always did with the smaller woman's features.

"96 hours. Well, 96-ish, less now that we've been standing here debating where I could've gone." Shuri jokes as she lets go, making sure Riri found her footing.

"Shut up! Four days?! We have so much to do!" Riri definitely screeched this time, pretending to slap Shuri's arm. Fighting the urge to grab it and pull her in, Shuri picks up Riri's book bag from where she dropped it and places it in her desk chair as she walks to the bed and pulls her own bag out from under the bed.

"Exactly how long have you been here? You seem comfortable." Riri jokes as she grabs two waters from her mini fridge and hops up on her bed.

"I am." Shuri chuckles at the sight of the shorter woman having to jump to get on the bed. "And since your first class."

"Are you serious?! Why didn't you say anything dickhead?!"

"Ouch!" Shuri feigns pain as she catches the pillow Riri throws at her head and plops on the bed next to her. "I had a few things to handle, and needed to secure the dorm building. I didn't want to disrupt your day, I know midterms are coming up no?"

"Yeah, they are but you could've let a bitch know! I would've cleaned!" Riri states, noticing that she sounds much like her mother.

"I like your mess." Shuri smiles.

"Shut up. How did you secure the whole dorm building?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind. I have beads in every corner of the building. And a few around campus as well. Including in here. Is that alright with you?"

"Sheesh. Do I have a choice?" Riri jokes, but Shuri nervously answers.

"Yes of course! If it's not comfortable for you, I can sleep at a hotel. I should've asked, I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll-"

"There's a next time too?"

"Well, if you'd li-"

"Are you crazy?! Of course! And yeah yeah, that's all fine with me. I get it. Don't start worrying about it or nun. I was just curious."

Shuri's smile returns and she relaxes back into the bed. It was oddly comfortable, being that the last time she was here was before the war. Sure, they'd been talking for months over facetimes and calls. And texts. And letters.. oddly, but not to them. They were both truly as desperate as they felt, but excused it since it seemed mutual - opting to call it a mutual interest in friendship, as opposed to what it really was in the bigger picture. And sure, they had seen each other one other time, but it was so brief that it shouldn't really count - although it did, to both of them.

Shuri had arrived at an American event in Boston, forced to show face by the elders after the uproar surrounding her mother and everything. She felt it was too soon and didn't make sense to attend a tech gala when none of it was even touching Wakandan tech. But regardless, she put on her best suit and went, disregarding the elder's request for her to wear traditional royal attire. She sat there, wishing she hadn't come, while big investors droned on. The only part that peaked her interest was listening to the stories of young inventors. They reminded her of herself, so excited and in a hurry. They reminded her of someone else too. Someone she had been longing to see since she left Wakanda only a few months ago at the time.

Shuri muddled around the thought of calling Riri, or just showing up at her dorm. She knew she had responsibilities to attend to the next afternoon after she returned home, and it really hadn't been that long. Maybe Riri wasn't ready to see her yet? Or maybe she never would be. Or maybe Shuri had really made their connection up in her own mind. Or maybe she didn't? And maybe she should just call her, or maybe send her a quick text to keep it more casual? Keep what, casual exactly? She wasn't sure. She paced around her own mind anxiously the entire night, not realizing it was her turn to speak until the Doras were next to her asking if she was alright. She collected herself and headed to the stage, performing a speech much like her brother had about the importance of innovation, supporting the youth - especially the Black and Brown youth, etc. She meant what she said but she hardly felt as connected or present with it as she was when she wrote it. Still circling her mind was her favorite innovator, the scientist who made everything make sense to her. Pining so badly, by the end of her speech she had resolved to call Riri. Faking her smiles through the eruption of clapping and handshakes as she left the stage, she made her way back to her seat while the closing speech began - only to lose her resolve when Ayo bent down to whisper a reminder of their exit plan and their intended arrival time back in Wakanda.

She had known it was a foolish thought. Who even knew what the small scientist would be doing at this time? She could be working, studying, partying. God, Shuri hoped not but recoiled at her own thoughts. She wasn't heteronormative and she wasn't the toxic type. She just also felt jealous of anybody and anything that got to be around Riri when she wasn't. Which was most times. Essentially all the time. Really, she reasoned with herself, she had only been around Riri for a few days and it had been against her will anyway. Maybe she really was making all of this up in her head.

The Queen of Wakanda continued her mental pace as she made her exit, later than most guests and certainly not from the front entrance. She walked through the beautiful building with the Doras who were talking amongst themselves about logistics, seemingly all having caught onto another one of Shuri's "moods". Shuri paid them no mind, as they expected, while she began brooding. What was the point of coming to America, aside from like... the actual point, politically - if not to see her scientist? She caught herself scoffing at "her scientist", making fun of herself in her head as they headed outside and around the back when the Doras suddenly stood alert around her. Shuri looked around her and back at her beads quickly, doing a quick scan of their surroundings, only to hear a small, out of breath "Hey" from her left.

"Williams?"

"Yeah, yeah.. haha. Hoo. Crazy catching you here." Riri joked awkwardly as she tried to catch her breath from clearing having run.

"Yes, well I was-"

"Giving a speech. I saw on tv. Just happened to be in the neighborhood myself so I figured I'd uh, say hi." Riri cut the Panther off as she caught her bearings and finally made eye contact. Shuri made contact back, silently signaling for the Dora to drop their guard. Ayo looked between them but of course followed command. Shuri stepped between them and closer to the scientist, who was now twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but at Shuri. Just like she did in Wakanda. Just like Shuri had replayed in her head a billion times over. While Shuri took the absence of eye contact as a chance to damn near gawk at the smaller woman, Riri was doing her own mental laps.

She also questioned her intentions and if she had been making this all up. She also questioned how crazy she must look, showing up here like this. She couldn't stop herself, leaving MJ, Peter and Ned in her OWN room after they had been flipping through channels and Riri caught a glimpse. That was all it took, one, maybe two seconds and she was out the door. And granted, she kind of was in the neighborhood. If you consider being four miles away in the neighborhood. She had considered grabbing her car from the garage but figured it would take too long, so she jumped in her nano suit her and Peter had been working on (that definitely still needed some work), and flew over. Of course she couldn't land in front of everyone, so she landed in a park a few blocks away and took off on foot. None of which she will EVER tell anybody, although she could barely remember her excuse to the three friends she left in her dorm as she forced herself to look back up and meet Shuri's eyes.

"In the neighborhood?"

"You could say that." Riri joked awkwardly again.

This made Shuri laugh. Riri had that effect on her, she had learned during their late night lab sessions. Even in the midst of the grimmest of days and a literal war, Riri had Shuri laughing so hard she cried a few times. They both seemed to be thinking back while they laughed together and smiled at each other shyly until Ayo cleared her throat.

"We must get going, Kumkanikazi." Both women seemed to jump a bit, having been pulled out of their staring contest. Riri shuddered at hearing Shuri be called that, she recognized it from when Okoye would speak about Queen Ramonda. She had done her best to pick up on as much of the language as she could when she was there, for some reason unknown to her - she just figured it would come in handy. But now, hearing it and knowing it meant Queen, shook her to her core. She remembered why she hadn't reached out, the guilt that sat in her bones about it. She nearly turned on her heels until she heard Shuri speak.

"One moment please."

"My Queen, we really must-" Ayo begun speaking in Xhosa but was cut off by the Panther Queen.

"Please. One moment." Shuri said, a command but almost begging, not turning to face the general one step to the side of her. She pulled at the necklace around her neck and Ayo nodded silently.

"I will ready the jet." Ayo answered and turned around, her and the two other Dora briskly walking to the jet that was just now coming into Riri's focus. She assumed it was using the new camouflage tech she had heard mentioned before she left Wakanda.

"Those things get cooler every time."

"Yeah, I suppose they do." Shuri laughed half heartedly. They both tried to speak but cut each other off.

"So-"

"I do-"

"You first." They both sheepishly smiled as they spoke in unison. but Riri insisted. "Go ahead, please."

Shuri would've resisted if she wasn't so desperate and struggling against showing it.

"How have you been? I've mis- I've been wondering. We haven't spoken since you left." Shuri caught herself, suddenly feeling like twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes too but she resisted that too. She was good at resisting.

"Oh.. well yeah. I've been. You know, school, work. Just been trying to get through the semester. I wanted to re- well I wondered how you've been too."

"I've been, too." Shuri shrugged with a smile. She wanted to know more, everything. To devour the stories Riri could tell her, even the most mundane. She wanted to know what pencils she used to write equations and what she thought of the food in her cafeteria. Riri just smiled, feeling the weight again. She knew Shuri hadn't been good, and she knew she hadn't either.

"Can I ask you-" They both spoke in unison again.

"You first." Riri insisted again, before Shuri could. Shuri didn't like it but she also didn't have much time to waste.

"Why didn't you reach out?" She asked, leaving Riri out of breath all over again. After a second that seemed like a million, Riri answered.

"I didn't know how." She said truthfully.

"I left you beads. Maybe I should've left a note too. I'm sorry, I figured you'd-"

"No, no. Not like that. I figured that out, it was actually pretty easy." Riri smiled, thinking about how much fun it was to try to get the beads to work. Fun until it wasn't. Fun until she heard Shuri's voice message and left it for months.

"Then you didn't want to?"

"No, I did. I just didn't know... how. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. But trust me, I wanted to. I really wanted to." Riri said earnestly and more quiet than she intended. Shuri believed her and took her answer, even if she didn't like it. Again resisting herself. Resisting Riri.

"I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Well..." She looked back at the Jet and sighed. They made eye contact before Shuri decided it would be best to count her losses in her own country, turning to leave.

"Wait, I still have a question!" Riri almost shouted. "If that's okay... of course." She said more quiet. Shuri turned around eager to hear. Hoping. Resisting. But hoping. She nodded her head.

"Well..." Riri twisted her fingers around in her hands. She still didn't know what to say or how to say it. But she didn't have much time to waste.

"Well?" Shuri asked, trying not to sound pushy but anxious to know.

"Is it too late?" Riri asked, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face she had committed to memory, but a bit different. More mature. Somehow even more beautiful. Shuri said nothing.

"...To reach out... To talk?" Riri finally drove it home, sending a silent prayer to whoever would answer that she wouldn't further embarrass herself.

Startling the both of them, Shuri's beads lit up and Ayo's face appeared.

"My apologies my Queen, but if we do not leave in the next three minutes, you may be late to your engagements tomorrow."

"Yes, thank you. I'm coming." Shuri said back, eyes still on Riri.

Riri felt defeated as she watched the panther tuck her beads back up her sleeve. It probably was too late. And who knows. Maybe it was the right thing to do to not stay in contact. Maybe that's what was best for Wakanda or Shuri. She remembered her mother always telling her that sometimes "doing the right thing feels like shit". In this case, she thought, it felt worse than shitty.

That was until Shuri grabbed her hand. Softly, almost too soft in comparison to what you'd expect from a super powered panther. It was so soft yet sent a shiver through Riri, like electricity was coursing through her. Like her heart was beating for the first time. The eye contact was somehow not as awkward as it was a second ago when they were standing a few feet apart. It was like they were all alone.

"Use the beads. If they need to charge, just set them in the sun but they shouldn't."

"Oh- Okay. I will. I will." Riri said twice, almost like she was confirming with herself first and the Shuri.

"Good." Shuri smiled. She took a step closer before she heard another beep on her own beads. Before the General could speak, Shuri was already responding.

"I heard you. I'm coming."

She looked at Riri again and sighed, and suddenly Riri saw just how exhausted the Panther really was. And maybe something else too. Shuri stepped back again, not wanting to let go of Riri's hand.

"It'll never be too late. I'll see you soon?" Shuri said, finally letting go and letting the physical distance regrow between them, hoping that the emotional distance wouldn't grow again too.

Riri watched as the panther walked back to the jet and boarded, looking back only once, only long enough to catch Riri's small wave but not return it. The younger scientist stood there feeling disassociated, unsure of what to do next. Really, she knew she had to go back to her dorm and go back to living her real life just like she had after she left Wakanda. Although, as dreary as that still seemed to her, this time felt different. Like there was something to look forward to, if she had the balls to actually use the beads like Shuri had said. She mulled over whether or not it was an instruction or a question from the Panther as she chose not to watch the jet fly off behind her. She heard the media start to buzz again when they heard the jet, upset that they had missed the person they were waiting for. Yet, Riri stood there and stared at the ground where Shuri was just standing. She still felt that pathetic feeling, and worried that she hadn't had a chance to explain how she found Shuri or even knew she would be there. She felt the weight of grief again, after seeing how tired Shuri looked when you really looked at her. And she felt guilty, for feeling excited. For feeling the butterflies she always pretended she didn't feel. She wondered, briefly, how Shuri was feeling right now but per usual, tried not to wonder too much as to not become delusional. She knew better than anybody that assuming to know how someone else thinks is the worst mistake you can make.

Shuri, back in the jet that was flying faster than she would like, was afflicted by similar thoughts. She wondered how Riri had found her and wondered if she really was as lucky as that just felt. She wondered why the girl even came. She wondered if she thinks about her too. She wondered if Riri would use the beads. She sat awake, replaying every moment of their time together since their first encounter over and over until they arrived in Wakanda, despite the Doras concerns for her not getting rest. Shuri would rest when things were well enough for her to rest, she told herself, but even she was starting to notice the cracks. She knew she could only stay awake for so many days until her body would shut down. She had secretly tried some of the elixirs and teas that both Nakia and Aneka had sent her, and she had read what Okoye sent her after hearing everything. She had slept every now and then, but it was never restful. It was never without torment from some figment of her mind taking shape of someone she wasn't ready to face - whether that be Namor, N'jdaka, or her mother. She always prayed for T'Challa to appear, who she wasn't sure if she was ready to see but longed for the comfort of his voice or face, but each time her body fell asleep, her mind fell into a well pit of despair.

That is, until later that night. Shuri had been through her daily responsibilities after making it back to Wakanda. Once her meetings were over, she made her way to the lab. She did her best to avoid checking the status of Riri's beads, trying to keep her mind busy as she usually did. It was harder this time, knowing that she'd actually spoken to the girl. After bopping around a bit, her body started to feel the weight of the past few days. She hadn't been physically training as much as she should've the past few weeks, because she knew it would knock her out but she was starting to feel stiff. She finally let up and sat down at one of her desks in a back room of the lab after Griot had let her know her vitals. She didn't usually sit in this room, so she hadn't been aware of what was placed in there. As she lazily sifted through the papers on the desk to try to keep her mind occupied, she saw blueprints for Riri's Iron Heart suit. The same feeling of nervousness and excitement rose in her as she more hurriedly looked over them. Despite all the work they did together, she never really got to see too much of Riri's initial process from scratch. She ran her slender fingers over Riri's pencil marks, reading over all her notes to herself.

With a yawn, Shuri sat back and relished in the fact that Riri actually existed. Sometimes, when Shuri was really out of it, she couldn't believe that everything really happened. She was sometimes convinced she would wake up and her mother would still be here, or that Riri was just a figment of her desperate imagination. Sure, having her mother back would be... well, everything. But it scared Shuri to think Riri might not have been real, that she didn't really happen. She felt selfish for this, knowing that Riri's life would probably be better without the trauma she endured in Wakanda. But nevertheless, Shuri held on tight to the memories she had of the woman, hoping that they would be enough for her.

She thought about how it felt to hold Riri's hand, to touch her skin again. It was just as soft and delicate as it had been when they parted ways a few months ago. Her face looked the same, maybe more mature in some ways. She looked tired too, underneath the face she put on for other people. They had gotten past that with each other during their long nights alone working together in the lab.

She thought about what it would feel like to fall asleep in Riri's bed. The mattress probably wasn't super comfortable but she remembers all the colorful pillows she has, messily strewn across the surface. The different colored blankets would probably fit them both well, even with the little space a twin bed supplies. They would have to be close, touching. Shuri imagined breathing in sync, feeling Riri's ribcage rise and fall in her arms while they were pressed against each other. She thought about how Riri smells. She's been trying to replicate it for months. She thought about breathing her in, laying her face in the crook of her neck and sleeping. Not thinking. Sleeping. Not even having to dream. She thought about waking up next to her, seeing her sleeping still until Shuri shifted too much by accident. Riri waking up and no doubt saying something funny. Or soft. Or just saying hello. How her eyes would look. She thought about not being afraid to make it real, that in her thoughts she didn't have to pretend that these touches were by accident or out of necessity. That they could spend an eternity, wrapped in colorful blankets, sleeping and touching skin to skin. That maybe Riri would feel the same, and they would laugh about how long it took to figure it out. That they would laugh until they couldn't, and talk until they couldn't, and then they would kiss. And everything would melt away, and neither would know where their skin would begin or end. And they would kiss until they couldn't. And they'd sleep.

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at the desk until she heard Griot's voice.

"Sorry to startle you, Panther. But, Miss Williams is trying to contact you. How would you like me to proceed?"

Shuri was shook, unsure of what she looked like or even what time it was. She felt nervous. She felt groggy, not even sure if this was real either. Nevertheless, she answered.

"Patch me through, please."

She waited a moment with bated breath, hoping this wasn't a dream or some fluke. Until she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" Riri asked, sounding nervous herself. Shuri wondered what time it was there, too.

"Hey." She said, in a more relaxed tone. Even if this wasn't real, it was still the best dream she'd had in months. Maybe ever.

And they talked, for a long time. Eventually working through any awkwardness. Riri never explained how she made it to the Panther, and the Panther never asked. She did explain, however, why it took so long for her to call. Shuri just listened and let herself laugh, like she'd been dreaming about. Finally feeling free for a little bit, even if it was just for a little bit.

On the other side of things, once Riri had cleared everyone out of her room when she got back and promising to explain to MJ later, she had sat down and thought about what to do. That turned into pacing and talking outloud. She had been avoiding the beads like the plague for months, unsure of what to do. Unsure of what choice would cause the least harm, since she already felt guilty for what she had caused. She found herself awake all night feeling anxious. She left for class that morning, deciding that she would get through her day and take a nap. She would figure it out after that. What she didn't tell Shuri, is how hard its been to sleep since she left Wakanda, or really even how hard it was while she was there. But when she tried to take a nap, she realized that all she dreamed about this time was Shuri and how soft her hand was when they had touched and how peaceful it felt to talk to her, even if only for a few moments and only a few words. She decided when she woke up that even if they ended up never talking again, she would keep her promise and use the beads.

And that's what she did. And that's what they kept doing, for weeks and months. They talked, they listened, they laughed, and on rare occasion, fell asleep. Both free from nightmares, even if just for a little while. Until Shuri finally arrived.

And finally, they had some time to really figure things out. Shuri promised she wasn't missing anything important by being there, and that she had allotted enough time. Riri was still unsure about it but couldn't resist the opportunity to finally see the woman she had been pining over for months - as a friend, of course.

As Riri remembered back fondly, she had forgotten what was ahead of her until she was jolted by turbulence that was usually well controlled by the Wakandan tech in the fighter jet. She couldn't process how she could possibly be on her way to confront the man that almost killed her and did actually kill the Queen of Wakanda. She couldn't fathom that she was racing there, against her love, her best friend, to make sure she didn't kill him first. Suddenly her clothes all felt too tight, and her suit felt heavy despite being nano. Suddenly the air felt hot and her lungs felt empty and she felt dizzy. She had felt all of this before, a panic attack. Riri Williams was no stranger to a panic attack. Not before Wakanda, and definitely not after. Though, for the past few months, she had always had Shuri to help ground her. Now, she was floating in the air, literally and figuratively. Everything was moving so fast. She felt herself spiraling and cursing herself in the process, unable to stop it but ashamed nonetheless. She had worked hard, since she was younger, to have a control over her emotions and thoughts. She needed to, especially if she was going to take this super hero shit serious. Especially if she was going to be there for her mom and sister after her dad passed. Especially if she was going to make it. But she felt that control slowly ripping itself to shreds, doing a number on all the mental blocks she had in place. She couldn't lose Shuri. She couldn't be the cause of another war in Wakanda. She couldn't live with the guilt. She couldn't let Shuri get hurt, or worse, for her again. Even if it meant confronting a man much more powerful than her. Even if it meant losing. Even if it meant drowning all over again.

Suddenly, she felt a cool hand grace the side of her cheek. She felt her suit dematerialize around her until it was just a bracelet again. She felt Okoye kneel down in front of her, eyes kinder than they usually were. She felt her pull her in close and squeeze. The pressure of the embrace bringing Riri back into her body. They stayed like that until Riri could breathe again.

She went to apologize as Okoye pulled back silently, just as she had appeared, but she was cut off.

"Aht aht. There is no need." Okoye softly but firmly let her know, sitting down next to her. They had never been this close before. Riri looked over to see the jet flying itself. The first time she saw that happen she was crazy nervous, but she's grown to trust both Wakandan tech and Okoye. After a few moments of silence, Okoye spoke again.

"I know what she means to you, you know."

Riri looked at her finally, noticing how somber her eyes really looked. She had seen those eyes before, but not like this. Okoye continued, looking back out the windows.

"I was T'Challa's right hand. I saw it all, from the beginning to the end. I saw him be the panther, I saw him be the king. I saw him be Shuri's brother." Riri felt a pang in her at the use of Shuri's name. She listened.

"And I saw him fall in love. I saw him devote himself to Nakia, and I saw her unravel at the loss of him - until she left. I saw it all, as much as I could. And I often wondered why I didn't feel the way they seemed to feel when my husband betrayed me and Wakanda. But their love... it was pure. It was something out of this world, it was something built into them." Okoye sighed, feeling grief in many directions. Riri found herself fighting back tears again until Okoye looked at her with different eyes, almost loving eyes this time.

"I have seen that kind of love before and that is how I know you have it. Both of you. And that is how I know we will figure this out." Okoye looked at her and squeezed her hand again, affirming what she said. They both heard the AI tell them they were approaching in the next 5 minutes. Through her tears that were now shamelessly falling down her face, Riri gulped out a question, in true Riri fashion.

"Do you think you will ever love like that?"

"I already do." Okoye said, getting up and adjusting herself to get back to the front of the plane to chart their secret entrance into Wakanda. Riri looked confused.

"Ngudade wethu." Okoye answered again, before sitting down and being who she needed to be. Riri knew what she said, and knew that she was right. About all of it.

As they prepared themselves, Riri suited up and made her way to the front of the plane.

"Where did he say to meet?" The midnight angel asked Riri. She sent the coordinates to the jet and looked at them wistfully. She hadn't really thought about where she might actually be going to "talk" to him when she was rushing to get herself to Wakanda. She jumped when Okoye gasped.

"What?! What is it?!" Worry filled her from head to toe again, hoping it had nothing to do with Shuri.

"That bastard... We are going to have to find a way to break into the palace. He wants to meet in the throne room."

Riri was speechless, knowing that this was a tactic to try to make her feel weak. She also couldn't deny that it was working. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought of being back in there. Of seeing the place where she almost died. Of... all of it. She had visited many times in her dreams, all against her will. And now she would face him there, against her will. She knew he was doing this to weaken her resolve, much like her and Shuri did with the dehydrating jet. She knew his intent all along, but this certainly solidified it.

Riri tried to make peace with dying in Wakanda. Once again, her mom wouldn't know where she was or how any of this happened. She wondered what lie they would tell her. She wondered if she would fight or just give herself to him. She wondered what Shuri would do, knowing this wouldn't end well no matter what she did. But she held her mind together as best as she could. She knew she had to meet him before she did. She knew she had to do what she could to prevent a second war. Okoye knew too, looking at her and then pulling up her own beads to try and locate Shuri.

"The Panther's location services are currently offline." The Ai spoke to them.

"Let us pray she is behind us and not ahead of us."

"Will she know where to find us?"

"We are about to break into the most secure place on the planet earth. I'm sure everyone will know where to find us in a matter of moments." Okoye answered and they shared a look.

"I hope you know, I will fight until the end with you. I have stood with the Wakandan throne my whole life. I have stood with Shuri and those that came before her. I have stood for the safety of my people as best as possible, but I have made my own mistakes before. I will stand with you, now, Riri. No matter the outcome."

Riri felt the pull of her tear ducts again but different this time. Okoye reminded her of her own sister, and of her own mistakes. She reached out a hand and found Okoye's. They held hands until it was time to land.

Once they had maneuvered their way into the country using Okoye's knowledge as former general and her new disguising tech, which Riri made a note to recreate if she made it out of this, Riri followed Okoye into the dense jungle around them.

"The best chance we have is to stay low until we can't anymore, and then charge in. The Doras won't see it coming but they will react, with their full might as they've been trained to do. Even to me. Our goal is not to harm any Wakandans, but we have to get to the throne room before he does. I will do my best to reason with Ayo and Aneka but they will resist a meeting with him there. Once we spot him, we must draw him away from the palace. Even if it means drawing him to the sea. Remember that he is most powerful near water."

Riri nods as she listens. Okoye wishes there were another way.

"Remember that if we see Shuri, we may already be too late. We must keep them separate. I do not know if she will choose peace a second time. Not when it concerns you."

"I don't want her to do this, I hope you know. You were right. You were right about it all. I love her. But I don't want her to risk everything for me. You all already have and I can't live with that. I can't live with any of this. I don't want to die but... But I can't let everyone else die for me either." Riri spits out, hoping she's being believed. She means it. Okoye looks at her and hears Nakia's voice in her head. "I just know his spirit. It is simple in that way for me."

"Ndiyawazi umoya wakho. I believe you. And I will fight to make sure no one has to die today, unfortunately even him if it means peace."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, small girl."

"For what?" Riri asked, genuinely surprised since most of the mayhem the past few months has been a result of her actions - intentional or not.

"For giving her something to hold onto again. Something to believe in." Okoye answered truthfully. Riri didn't know what to say but she took in what the older woman said, against trusting her. After a few moments of silence, it was time.

"Stand behind me and do not fly until I tell you. If you enter the air space anywhere near the palace, you will be shot down before you can count to one. Do you understand?" Riri nodded.

She did understand. Now, more clearly than ever.

🖤

#black sapphic #riri williams #Shuri Udaku #iron heart #black panther #black panther wakanda forever #black wlw #marvel #SHURIRI #SCIENCE GAYS #SORRY FOR THE ANGST BUT I HAD TO

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irontragedyreview · 4 months

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One of those manga that I consider deserves an anime adaptation is Ao No Flag/Blue Flag. It’s short but above all I like how it touches on issues related to sexual orientation. Touma and Taichi’s story is tender but above it’s builds little by little, in the same way that the relationship between Taichi and Futaba is also beautiful and it doesn’t feel that she is the beard or the middle of Taichi and Toma love.

Taichi learns and changes with Futaba and they push each other to improve, Taichi with Futaba learns to get out of his comfort zone, which had been one of the reasons why he and Touma had drifted apart, Taichi stops hanging out with Touma because he believes that they are in different social circles in high school, even when Touma tried to get closer but there is only so much he can do. His friendship with Futaba and subsequent love relationship doesn't feel bad because it’s built in a way that develops a relationship between two people who begin to enjoy each other's company, but above all who are there to support each other in overcoming their fears, even if in the end they end up with different people.

However, I feel that the end of the manga feels rushed in presenting you with certain events, both Touma and Taichi's relationship, and Masumi's revelation as bisexual. I would like to focus on Masumi more than any other character because honestly a cliché part of my heart was hoping that Futaba and her would end up together, especially because of the level of devotion that Masumi had towards her. Also in the end when I saw her married to a man, it left a bad taste in my mouth because she had settled for the easier life that represented hiding her sexuality. Of course, this doesn’t really happen, from the few words we see from Masumi's husband we can understand that he’s aware that Masumi likes both men and women and it doesn’t make him jealous or insecure because he trusts Masumi and her choice to be with him. In my blog there is a post (not mine) talking about this topic. At the beginning I also saw Masumi's marriage as her deciding to stay in the closet, especially because throughout the story the way she describes her feelings for Futaba and how she had tried to go out with boys but without feeling right. All this leads us to think that Masumi is a lesbian, which is why I would have liked one chapter before the ending with a broader development of her sexuality. Although, I want to say this I consider that knowing her bisexuality feels rushed but I don't feel that it’s wrong or queerbating because I can find myself in Masumi, I don't feel that it’s wrong to show that we’re still not completely clear about our sexuality while we’re teens, as a bisexual woman I remember going through a process to accept that I liked men and women. It was a big "I can't be a lesbian because I like guys" but it was also "I'm not straight because I like women too”, getting to a point where both thoughts coexisted and didn’t repel each other took me a while, especially because at the time I didn’t know the word bisexuality. I think that despite everything, Masumi is a good character to feel identified in the discovery of her sexuality because I can understand how her crush with Futaba canceled the possibility of perhaps feeling something romantic or even sexual towards others, it makes sense that her feelings for Futaba occupy a space that perhaps didn’t allow her to fully explore other relationships to fully understand other aspects of her. That's why I think that once her crush with Futaba ended and had the opportunity to meet other people, she was able to discover herself.

#blue flag #ao no flag #futaba kuze #taichi ichinose #touma mita #masumi itachi #I really enjoyed this manga #like I wish I could read it when I was a teen

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ghoulie-67-baby · 1 year

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Overload- BAU team.

Summary: After a particularly gruelling case, the team come prepared to deal with a meltdown.

Warnings: Angst, disturbing imagery, child death/mutilation (flashback), sensory overload, auditory hallucination, stimming, angsty fluffy team.

Pairing: BAU team x Autistic!reader (platonic or otherwise.)

Word count: 1,057

My knees shook as I wandered ahead of my team, trying to carry myself with as much dignity as I could. The steps onto the jet seemed more difficult than usual as I struggled against the weakness in my limbs, using the railings to pull myself up.

I knew the team would be finishing up with the sheriff and usually, I would stay with them but today I'd had just about enough. I needed to be in a safe space. Unfortunately, that meant the case repeating in my head with no escape. I couldn't get the image of tortured, mutilated children out of my head, my hands still feeling sticky with blood even though I'd scrubbed them, god knows how many times. My shirt still felt like it was plastered to me with the blood of the child I tried to save.

Even now as I sat on the jet, herding myself into the corner, I could see the tiny bodies littering the floor. My skin felt like it was crawling from the tight shirt that I'd had to wear from my own being covered in blood and dirt. The crawling feeling was almost like little fingers and nails pulling and scraping at my skin. Dragging my knees to my chest, I rested my chin on them and tried to distract myself whilst waiting for my team.

It didn't take long for the cries of the children to be interrupted by the laughter of Emily and Derek and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh hey, this is where you got to," JJ smiled down at me, placing her bag on one of the seats before moving to the kitchenette. "We thought we'd have to wait for you.." Everyone settled into a seat as I zoned out, hands clenching and unclenching as I stimmed in my seat.

"Y/N," Morgan's voice pulled me from my daze. "You okay, babydoll?" I nodded, ignoring the quiver in my chest.

"Why don't you get some rest? It's been a long week."Emily's gaze settled on the growing bags under my eyes but I dropped my head to try and hide it from her. The air in the jet seemed tense and harder to breathe as silence descended on us. I felt the seat beside me dip slightly as I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Honey," JJ's voice was quiet and gentle. "What's going on? Let us help." I usually welcomed any physical touch from my team but as soon as her hand rested on my arm I took a sharp breath in and I began to rock in my seat. The action of rocking had always been a comforting stim but today it didn't seem to help me at all.

Within seconds, her hand had pulled back and she stiffened in her seat when I let out a pathetic whimper.

"It's too much," Spencer lowered his voice, probably for my benefit. "Sensory overload is kicking in." My rocking was accompanied by jittering hands and piano fingers as the click of my tongue filled the space. "Y/N what can we do to make this easier for you?"

"I want," Anger bubbled in my throat. "Just need," My words cut off, not being able to form due to frustration.

"It's okay," He hushed me gently, kneeling in front of me. "Look at me and go slowly." I stared into his hazel eyes as I tried to calm down.

"I need," I huffed, holding back a sob. "This off." I yanked at the shirt that clung to me, breath spiking as I got more desperate. Tears welled in my eyes and threatened to spill over as he pushed my hands away and began to unbutton it, as David routed around in his go-bag.

They always came prepared for anything whether it was emotional, social, sensory overload or difficulty concentrating. My team always kept sensory toys with them, spare clothes of theirs and music, books and anything else to keep me occupied and comfortable.

The scratchy, tight material slid off my body, leaving me in a vest, and instantly my hands moved to scratch at my exposed skin. Small movements were made around the jet, so I wasn't disturbed, as they grabbed what they had stored to help me. They all worked in sync as they moved around to make me more comfortable.

Spencer's slender fingers helped me into one of David's long-sleeved shirts, covering the welts I had caused on my skin, and soothing the feeling within seconds. My surroundings were blurred as the tears slid over the apples of my cheeks, relief and gratitude rushing through me. I zoned out, letting them manoeuvre my limbs into joggers rather than jeans and sliding my shoes off before shifting my hair away from my face.

"You feeling better, Dolcezza?" The clicking of my tongue and the piano fingers slowly subsided.

"Hmm," My hum was distant and quiet, still stuck in my head.

"Lie down Y/N," Hotch ordered gently, knowing a firm hand would work. He gestured to the sofa where Emily sat and I shuffled over, cuddling into her side before she had the chance to move. Pulling my legs up beside me, Emily's arm wrapped around me, resting on my waist as JJ sat by my feet, hand resting on my ankles. Aaron handed me Spencer's blanket and I pulled it to my face, his scent wafting into my face.

When I opened my eyes again, they met Derek, who held a concerned but warm look. He slid headphones over my head, the gentle trills of Erik Satie's classical pieces masking the hum of the jet and saving me from the cries of children I had imagined earlier.

Minutes had passed and my heart rate dropped back down as I settled against Emily, wrapping an arm around her waist. I couldn't help the intense feelings of love and gratitude for my team as they did everything they could to help me.

Eventually, I slipped off to sleep surrounded by feelings and smells that never failed to soothe me. David's shirt stopped the crawling on my skin, Emily's heartbeat calmed my own, JJ's hand stroked patterns into my skin, Spencer's blanket masked the scent of congealed blood, Derek's headphones created a musical distraction and stopped the cries whilst Aaron's gaze made me secure and feel safe.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #david rossi #derek morgan #spencer reid #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau

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kalstar · 1 year

Text

Akira when something is bothering you

Genre: comfort/angst, fluff, gn!reader

warnings: mentions of bad mental health (ed, depression, sh, etc)

word count: 838

A/N: I had this in the drafts for a couple months and mostly wrote it cuz the mental illness was hitting me extra that day lolll. but I'm doing good now!! I hope if you've ever felt something similar this can make you feel better :)

likes and reblogs are appreciated, fic under the cut <33

A lot of things were on my mind, college, my family, my weight. I can't remember the last time I ate a proper meal. I hadn't been taking care of myself properly and I would just work or sleep the days away. I thought about hurting myself, running away, or just ending everything. One day, he asked if he could come over just to hang out. I tried my best to hide everything and plaster my best smile and the laugh that he loved hearing so much. But of course, he knows me down to the minute details.

love, you okay?

Hm? Yea, why'd you ask?

You seem quieter than usual

Ah it's nothing I'm just a bit tired

. . . . .

You're lying to me

huh? why would I-

He moved closer toward me and stared me straight in the eyes. Our difference in height made me have to look up at him.

Something's bothering you, isn't it?

It's really nothing

You've been zoning out and only saying one or two-word answers

. . .

He cupped my cheek, his hands smooth and warm. I tried to laugh it off again, as if it was nothing, yet his gaze was still as serious as ever. Firm but warm.

You know you can tell me anything

I wanted to tell him everything, but the weight in my chest made it impossible for me to open my mouth. I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. I could only hold on to his hand. Something about him is like magic. He could understand my different kinds of quiet. He knew that I couldn't get the words out of my mouth.

Come here

He slowly let go of my cheek and placed it behind my head and pulled me into his chest.

I know it's hard for you to say what's on your mind sometimes. I'll wait for you however long it takes.

I could hear his heartbeat and the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. I could feel the tears falling from my face, staining his shirt. As all my emotions bubbled up to the surface, he stayed quiet as he listened to my troubled sobs, patiently patting my head.

As my tears subdued and my breathing started to calm down, I bring myself up away from his chest, his hands moving to secure my back. I knew deep down he was concerned but all he showed me was his kind smile that would make butterflies flutter inside of me.

You're a pretty crier

I couldn't help but laugh

Thank you

Are you ready to tell me now?

I nod slowly

Take it slow, I'm here for you all night

The words finally managed to flow out of me like water from a leaking pipe. Slow but sure. I still couldn't look him in the eyes. He listened intently to every word I said, making sure that I felt heard. He played with my hair as I talked knowing that it helped me calm down.

I just feel so lost, I don't know what to do. I feel worthless and the only way I know to push myself to be better is to torture myself.

Love, look up for me

As I turned my head up slowly, he placed a soft kiss on my lips. He tasted like the usual Leblanc coffee that he and I both loved.

It really is hard being you huh

I chuckled

You can be such a handful sometimes you know, but I wouldn't trade you for the world I know I can't give you the best advice and I can't give you an instant solution, all I can do is be there for you. I really don't understand how you could see yourself like that when all I've ever known is how perfect and beautiful you are. I'll be with you every step of the way so you can depend on me a little bit more okay? I'll stay with you every single day if you need me to.

Being left speechless, all i could do is bury my face back into his chest saying a muffled "thank you".

All I could hear was the sound of his pretty laughter. He smelled like coffee and felt like rain on a summer's day. He was everything I needed.

He continued to pat my head as he hummed a soft melody he had probably heard on TV. He always claims that he's not much of a singer but I loved his voice. Drowning in the sound of the melody I could feel myself drifting away.

Love? Don't fall asleep, you haven't eaten yet, right?

Hm?

I'll warm up some curry for you, eat a little bit, okay?

. . . . .

I'll eat with you if you want

...okay

He let me cling to him for however long I needed. Something really is magical about him. My one and only, the one person who can understand me down to the minutia, I don't know where I'd be without him.

#persona 5 x reader #persona 5 #akira kurusu #p5 joker #persona series #akira persona 5 #persona 5 akira #akira kurusu x reader #ren persona 5 #p5 ren amamiya #ren amamiya #joker persona 5 #persona 5 protagonist #phantom thieves #phantom thieves x reader

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flowering-thought · 1 year

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Hi! So I've asked a few asks on here, and am delighted to see that you've answered all of them. That really means a lot to me, and it makes me super happy and it makes feel included! I wanted to thank you, and note that I'm always looking forward to reading your writing. If you don't mind, I'd like to introduce myself as 🔮~Anon! (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

Anyways, if you have a chance, can we get some soft fluff head cannons for Makoto and Rowan with a super shy and kind darling? Like, she's self aware of her shyness so she goes out of her way to try and make them feel comfortable but ends up feeling awkward instead? 👉👈

Thank you💕~

Well HI! I'm glad I've gotten to all of your asks cause I haven't gotten to all the asks in my inbox tbh. And I'm glad to welcome another anon so welcome 🔮!!

And so Makoto and Rowan with a shy darling hm? I'll do Rowan then Makoto as I kinda usually write headcannons and like characters in a specific order as to when I created them? If that makes sense? But I hope you enjoy this! Also super sorry for taking a long while to get to this!!

Not edited

WARNING - MINORS DNI

AFAB reader and reader is described as feminine and chubby/plus sized.

Yandere themes and implications of violence

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Rowan Clarke

Shy Darling Headcannons

• Rowan is a pretty outgoing person-

• He's charming and has a slightly rough way of speaking and he says things how they are.

• So when his darling is shyer and stuff he honestly can't get enough of you-

• He helps out in social situations or when you meet someone new

• Rowan will notice your shyness on the first meeting and kind of tone down how loud he is to be around since he really doesn't want to scare you off-

• But in the beginning, he fails to notice for a while that you push yourself to be a little more talkative and get a little shyer when the conversation goes quiet.

• When he notices he starts to feel guilty-

• He hates the thought of you pushing yourself to talk more, and he can't imagine the anxiety of constantly trying to come up with a topic because you feel as though he might not be comfortable with your silence.

• The next time it happens he'll bring up that you don't have to force yourself. He holds your hands gently in his and gives you that same bright smile, "Don't worry darlin' you don't have to say anything if ya don't feel like it. I love it when you're comfortable not when you're forcin' yourself to go out of your comfort zone."

• While shyness can also mean having anxiety about newer situations/people, he always tries to make it comfortable. Like if you meet his parents? He warns them beforehand to take it slow and just let you come out of your shell alone.

• He never pressures you and lets you take your time. And he loves talking with you about random things or your interests!

• And when he sees you being kind it just makes his heart melt-

• As much as he gets a little jealous at you being kind to others it just affirms his thoughts that you should only be his and that he needs to protect you.

• And if you're kind to someone who isn't too kind to you? Oh boy, he's pissed-

• He tries to steer you away from those people. Absolutely starts to get people in the town to shun those people as well. Doesn't matter if that person has been kind to him before, if they show any sort of disrespect to you they are dead to him-

• You see Rowan adores it when you're shy to others. A part of him likes to see you out of your shell of course, but that more possessive part of him wants to see you be shy around others so he's the only one you rely on.

• It's a dilemma but when he gets thoughts like those he just goes to see you and gives you hugs. Somehow that's all he needs to calm down-

• And he doesn't often try to push you out of your comfort zone unless there's an event or something he knows you might like but might be a little too much.

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Makoto Kawahara

Shy Darling Headcannons

• Makoto is kind of an introvert but an extrovert you know? Doesn't like strangers but around those he loves he's more outgoing.

• Having a shy darling is probably the most comfortable thing for him. He finds you absolutely adorable and loves to observe your habits.

• He has a mature way of talking? Something about the way he talks is just soothing and calm. It makes you comfortable and warm most of the time.

• It's not often that he tries to push you out of your boundaries as he also prefers environments and places that make him feel safe.

• He tries to prioritize your comfort as well as his. So when you and him are sitting on the couch in his penthouse, a book I'm his hand and a blanket covering both his and your lap, he occasionally looks up to find you fiddling with your phone and glancing at him nervously.

• Your small attempts at opening your mouth to form words and find a topic to talk about, until you started rambling about various topics.

• At first he found it cute, he always loves when you ramble on or go on a tangent about the things you love. But the way your eyes traveled around the room and the nervous behavior you showed made him realize you weren't doing it out of genuine interest in the topic.

• He let you finish your sentence before closing his book and giving you a soft kiss on your cheek.

• "You don't have to push yourself to find something to talk about. It's okay if we have silent moments where we are both doing something darling." He started, bringing his hand to cup your cheek.

• "Every moment, whether small or large, I want to spend with you. So never push yourself out of your comfort zone. I'll still be here at the end of the day wanting to spend every waking and non-waking moment with you." He assured, leaving another kiss on your forehead before bringing you close for cuddles.

• He doesn't mind reminding you or reassuring you if he has to when you might feel awkward or pressured to be more outgoing.

• He also warns his brothers, mostly Takeo as he's the loudest of the brothers and the most outgoing to tone it down when Makoto finally wants to introduce you to them.

• And Makoto is honestly very observant. He avoids people who may make you uncomfortable and if anyone ever bothers you? Well, let's say his grip is firm.

• Overall he sees your shyness as quite an adorable trait and finds that when you are in your comfort zone where you talk a lot or get excited about something, that is when he finds you to be the most adorable.

• He tries to keep his home comforting and welcoming just so you won't feel too out of place.

• While he does like it when it's just you and him. He knows he can't keep you from having a social life.

• If you have really close friends he lets you invite them over whenever or tries to be open if you hang out with the quite often.

• He wants you to be happy. And so long as you don't neglect him and pay attention to him he's content with just holding you in his arms for now-

#.rowan_clarke_♡#.makoto_kawahara_♡#yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere x reader #soft yandere #yandere x darling #yandere imagines #chubby reader #yandere male #yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere hcs #yandere male x reader #yandere x you

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cowboyjen68 · 1 year

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hi jen! first off, i love your blog and it definitely helped me realize i’m a femme by helping me realize just how much i love butches. now i’ve been in a relationship with a butch for close to two months and it might be crazy but i can really see myself marrying my butch one day. i never knew i could feel so loved and cared for before i met them. what i wanted to ask you is, what can i do to be a good lover to my butch? is there anything you as a butch would recommend all lovers of butches to do for their honey? i hope you’re having a great day

I pushed away my natural attraction to femmes for fear of being "like a man" or "predatory". Basically I was letting rhetoric from straight and LGBT Communities form my ideas about what butch/femme meant. The myth that butches (or femmes) don't exist outside of their relationship to each other and that is was mimicing Man/Woman roles and societal rules was pushed at me from many angles.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling at our most butch/femme when with each other and gaining stength from our chemistry with each other, both as friends and in romantic situations. There is also no reason to act in ways we are not comfortable JUST to push back against roles that are perceived as "heteronormative". Denying what makes us happy is akin to parents being upset when their son like trucks and rough housing because that makes him "stereotypical". No. It makes him human and people should be able to enjoy what they love without being judges for being stereotypical OR going against the grain.

My last girlfriend (and deepest love of my life) didn't use femme and I didn't care because her connection with me was undeniable and deep. She made me feel loved and wanted and unique.

My first girlfriend was a dyed in the wool strong femme. She tried her best to get me to embrace my butchness and the understand that I was allowed to be protective and do nice things for her while also letting my guard down and being vulnerable in intimate situations. I was not ready.

Here are some of the things that made me feel safe and seen as exactly who I was, a short butch with an outgoing personality and a zest for life and people who deperately wanted to let my passion for women free from supression.

Helping me pick outfits. I am pretty utilitarian in my clothing style. When we had a nice dinner out or a party my last girlfriend would help me pick clothes that looked good on me. Encouraging me to wear a tie or crisp button down. She let me wear my suspenders or a fitted vest and helped me button it up and straighten the seams. It is a miracle we ever made it to dinner when she did that.

Establishing I am hers in public settings, even if no one else noticed. When she would slide her hand on to the small of my back under my coat or flannel and rest it there I would go weak in the knees. Feeling her gentle touch, letting me know she is there with only me was like being drunk on feeling good.

Don't assume sexual roles or bedroom activities are a certain way for your butch. Touch is important to me but vulnerability was hard. Build trust and have some fun but in the privacy of our beds all butch/ femme stereo types should be left out in the cold and what ever brings out mutual passion should be the goal.

Pocket knives, belt buckles, and ugly Christmas sweaters are my favorite gifts. Things she made and frogs or toads she has thrifted are wonderful reminders that she knows me and loves me. She still sends tiny gifts to me because our friendship is strong and for that I am grateful. Figure out what tiny things make her smile or laugh and even bring her out of her comfort zone in a fun way. I wear too tight ugly sweatshirts that she gave me all the time and give no shits as to what other think because they remind me of her.

I am so glad you found love and passion with your butch and are doing your best to honor her as she is. Being a butch woman is never easy out in the world but being butch in a warm and caring home with a loving femme is peak lesbian life.

#butch #lesbian #love #femme

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wisemins · 5 days

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🌧️Rain, ☄️Comet, and 🌈Rainbow for the S/I ask game! (@proton-selfships)

Hiya!!! TYSM FOR THE ASK <333

curveball lore for this one! A canon i have yet to talk about! Myself in The B.ear! (F/os there being Carmy and Richie! Separately ofc)

🌧️Rain: What was the saddest moment in your lore for you/your self-insert? Who in canon knows about it?

Probably when I quit working at The Beef (before it became The B.ear) suddenly due to the pressure.

I felt suddenly unimportant, disregarded, and overwhelmed and I just up and left, it was a whole ordeal, lots of crying. The pressure was just too much, and despite beginning to learn so much and being pushed out of my comfort zone to become a real chef, it just broke me, I knew I wasn't cut out for it like the rest of the kitchen was. It was also interpersonal stuff too, in both canons with both my boys, this would be a real struggle era for us all in terms of romance and I had lost hope in reciprocation and felt frustrated with myself for believing that I could be with them.

After the fact, things got resolved. I would talk it over with them after they realized like, ah shit maybe I was a big dick munch about things (which is funny cus, once again, this applies to both SOMEHOW), and they apologized, so did I. In both canons they talk me back into coming to work with them again, saying how it wouldn't be the same without me on board, and instead of cooking/prepping/chef-ing up a storm, I wanted to provide hospitality instead with Richie.

It was less pressure to me, and I could preserve a lot of my relationship with Carm since I wouldn't be in the kitchen where there's a chance I could be yelled at in one of his more mentally ill moments. (I love that man but he needs therapy!) In the end of both ordeals in each canon, I do end up with my boys romantically since it all put it into perspective on how they didn't want to lose me and I didn't want to lose them.

And who knows about it? Everyone in that kitchen and Carm's family. I tried not to make a big show out of it, but Richie has a big, sensitive mouth, and he will talk about shit when it's bothering him on volume 100. So yeah!

☄️Comet: What was a moment where you/your self-insert really shined? This can be a badass moment, a moment where you felt important to the overall lore, or just a really cool and important moment!

When Richie and I got sent to that really upscale and high profile restaurant to improve, and it ended up being a life-changing realization on Richie's end, and a real lesson on mine that I also did have purpose and meaning and a place with our crew. I learned so much about hospitality and the ins and outs of exquisite eatery, Richie and I got into a groove and we really succeeded after a while, it was a very special moment for us individually and shared! Even during the tense and high pressure moments, I finally didn't choke and went through with my tasks with newfound ease and way less trepidation.

I was also extremely proud of Richie, and I made sure he knew that. And what was really unexpected on my end is that he expressed how proud he was of me individually, and it really changed things. I definitely cried, they were good tears though!

🌈Rainbow: What was the happiest moment in your lore for you/your self-insert? Who all shared that happiness with you in canon?

When we all found the money that Mikey (Carm's brother) left for us. It was a huge win for everyone, and we all shared a really beautiful moment in realizing what was next for the restaurant. I definitely cried in realizing what Mikey had done for all of us, since he was like a big brother to me. Knowing that things were going to be okay for a while was comforting, and seeing the collective sigh of relief was like nothing we've ever had before.

But also when my boys confessed to me would be another great happy moment! It was comforting to know that after all the shit we had gone through, and all of the scares we've had, that we still ended up together.

So yeah!! Lots of crying basically but really amazing moments too-- but I'm a rather sensitive person so it's no wonder! But I really enjoyed lore-dumping about this, thank you for the ask!!

The ask game in question!

#starshine asks #❤️: Parm 4 Carm #❤️: One day I am gonna grow wings #❤️: When I come around

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lemmilemura · 1 year

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It is so late but that’s when I get ideas so it’s worth it <3 This one is basically when you talk bad about your body (which you shouldn’t you’re literally so fucking beautiful/handsome/attractive my god who let you be this pretty?) and how Simon would retaliate. Idk how else to describe this xD

Note this will have SFW and NSFW, but they will be seperated so no need to worry <3 i actually kind of got myself out of my comfort zone of NSFW and I’m lowkey proud of myself xD

All kept gender-neutral Based on the show

We all know Simon doesn’t exactly get the kindest words thrown at him, so when he catches you talk about yourself that way, he will immediately do whatever he can to get those thoughts away, because he does not agree with them and refuses to have you think that way about yourself! It’s definitely one of the moments where he’s the softest <3

SFW

~your face~

If you talked bad about tour face, Simon would immediately take it in his hands and list off every feature, what he likes about it and then kiss it.

Examples:

The pretty color of your eyes, your soft cheeks, your cute nose, your lips that he adores, the cute expressions you make and your smile that always makes him smile too

~your hair~

If you said you disliked your hair, he will run his hands through it and tell you how well it fits you and how it frames your face perfectly. If you still insist, he will offer to pay for you to get it changed and exactly how you want it <3

~your hands~

Simon will take your hands in his, kiss the back of it and intertwine your fingers, telling you how holding your hands grounds him and reminds him he’s not alone <3

~your stomach/torso~

He will run his hands along your hips/stomach/chest and remind you that he just loves laying his head on your torso, it makes him feel so safe and confortable and he will most likely do just that and lay on you

~your thighs/legs~

Similar to your torso, he’ll tell you how he just loves how comfortable your thighs are, he rests on them whenever he has the chance or is feeling particularly soft <3

NSFW

If it then escalates to a more heated moment, he will switch to saying some more intimate stuff

~your face~

He just loves how he can make you make faces and expressions nobody else can, he loves when you look up at him from under him or from on your knees, eyes just full of lust and love, it feeds into his superiority complex a lot. Most of the time when you suck him off he can’t look at your face at all because it just speeds up how fast he cums immensely, not to mention if your face already has some of his cum on it. Hoooo boooyyy. He loves the feeling of your mouth around his dick too, of course, when you push yourself to take in as much as possible, even if you gag a little and have to catch your breath he loves that you still tried <3

~your hair~

Simon’s favorite thing about your hair is that 1. He can pull on it to make you either face him, pull your head back if he’s taking you from behind and 2. Seeing you try to hide your face in your hair is just so adorable because you never succeed and he always pushes it out of your face

~your hands~

He just loves the feeling of your nails scratching into him, makes him feel alive and full of energy to just pound into you harder. He loves the feeling of your hands on his chest, trying your best to keep yourself up while riding him with all you’ve got. And of course he loves the feeling of your hands around his cock when you jerk him off, they’re so soft and he can’t get enough of them

~your stomach/torso~

He loves leaving hickeys aaaaalll over your torso and in areas where nobody will be able to see, maybe just one a little higher in your neck where it will be a bit harder to hide. He loves grabbing you by the hips and just pulling you closer to him while pounding into you. He also really likes the bulge made be his dick inside you, he likes slightly pushing onto it too, just so proud of himself. He also likes seeing your torso covered in his cum when he pulls out just in time to cum all over you. Reminds him that he’s the only one who can see you this way and do all of this to you. He also loves your chest/boobs, the soft feeling if them is just so nice and he likes playing with your nipples every once in a while, always gets a reaction out of you.

~your thighs/legs~

He loves how he seems to fit so perfectly between your legs, be that when your legs are wrapped around his hips when he fucks you or around his head when he’s eating you out. Just like your torso he of course heaves hickies and bites on your thighs, especially if the next day is warm enough for you to wear shorts or if you’re going somewhere where your thighs will be exposed, because why would people look at your legs? Pervs. He also likes grabbing your thighs and pushing them up against you, or putting them over his shoulders, able to reach so much deeper and make both of you feel much better <3

LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME! YOU PUSHED ME FAR ENOUGH AND I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD THANK YOU OR NOT You sir have made me write unspeakable things that I never could before. For that I applaud you 👏👏👏👏👏 I’m literally so proud of myself for actually writing like this like you have no idea I never expected Simon be the first character to get me to write like this xD Draco Malfoy in my first ever fic (smut i dropped basically immediately) is rolling in his fucking grave xD

#one of us is lying #oouil #oouil tv show #simon kelleher #headcanon

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loquaciouscat · 1 year

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But after all, i guess GOD

IF I try to ignore the ending,,, Mob has grown so much. So much. He has done so much, he has tried, so many people love him now,,,

And it honestly makes me tear up rn as well because it's the little things. It's the little interactions, little steps. He is trying. And it is clearly shown,,,, those lil steps

I saw that myself too,,, I'm in uni now, but it's never too late for that, y'know? I can see I'm gaining people around me, little acts of kindness, little changes in my routines, pushing myself out of my comfort zone,,, That is exactly what Mob is doing and you can see how much progress he has made.

And that is absolutely enough to make a grown ass man cry, y'know?

Even if you're not perfect, that's okay, your progress still should be cherished.

MP100's storytelling is much more beautiful than people give credit for

#loquacious cat rambles #mp100 spoilers #mp100 #mp100 season 3 #mp spoilers #mob psycho 100 spoilers #mob psycho 100 #ramblings #mob psycho shigeo #mob shigeo #analyzing

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footballffbarbiex · 2 years

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Already There.

pairing: best friend!Daniel Ricciardo x unnamed and undescribed OC. type: kinda angst, mostly fluff. original word count: 1488 new word count: 1624

A/N: this was written for a former patron. I’ve not included my usual tag list, because this is f1 and not football, so it doesn’t really apply.

The door opens and Daniel immediately wafts his hand in front of his face as though a bad smell lingers. “Babe, how much have you been drinking?” he asks as his eyes fall to the bottle in her hand.

“I’ve only just opened it,” she justifies and her own gaze drops to his hand, looking over the bag and what looks to be more alcohol. “What’s in there?”

“All your favourite things. I’d have put myself in there but-”

“You’d have to take yourself out along with the rest of the trash.” She says and his eyes widen in mock pain.

“Ouch! I was going to give you the bigger portion of what I’m going to cook you, but not after that.”

“Don’t be like that.” She complains, pushing out her lower lip in a pretend sulk and shuts the door behind him. “Want a glass?”

“Oh, you’re offering me a glass and not a mug or a bottle. How very civilised of you. You must have done the washing up, I’m impressed.” He grins as she glares at him. “Y’know, one of these days I’m going to think you hate me.”

“I do.”

“No, you’re hungry. There’s a difference. You sit your cute ass down,” he pulls a chair out at the table before moving around and makes himself at home in her kitchen. He feels almost as comfortable in her home as he does in his own. He could navigate it with ease in the dark, when drunk or tired. He’s done all three. Often.

He hands her a glass, but not without asking “do you want a straw with that?” He both accepts and ignores the finger that she gives him in response and begins to get what he needs to cook.

“I hope you appreciate this. I never cook for anyone else.” He tries to word it in a jokey way but he’s telling the truth. He’s never wanted to look after anyone else the way he does her. It frustrates him when she doesn’t look after herself and he comes in to take over. Their mutual friends think it’s the other way around, that she looks after him but the two of them know differently.

Yes, she does take care of Daniel. She’s there on the other end of the phone whenever he needs her. It doesn’t matter what time it is, what time zone difference there is, if he needs her, she’s asking the question, “what do you need from me to make you ok?”

She’s there when he needs company or just to sit in silence in the same room as him. She knows she’s his safe place, the place where he longs to be when he’s away. He doesn’t feel safer with anyone else like he is with her and that hasn’t changed in the years they’ve been this close. Dan doing little things for her like this, is his way of giving back to her. This is his way of saying “thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being my home.” And right now, he wants to be here for her. Another bad break up and he couldn’t stay away when he heard the news. He had to come over.

They slip into easy conversation as Daniel cooks, and takes swigs from his bottle of beer. He flips the utensils, sings her silly little songs and makes up dance routines. Anything he can to earn a laugh from her. He tells her stories and jokes, anything he can to put a smile on her face and though he doesn’t want to just give her more alcohol to fix her problems, he does want to see her loosen up a little and so he tops up her glass a little more while keeping the bottle where he can reach it and not her. He’ll know when her limit is, and he’s not prepared to let her take a sip more once she gets there.

“What’s on your mind baby doll?” He asks as he pushes the plate of food towards her and hands her the cutlery. He leans against the counter and watches her as he takes another sip. He’s finished one bottle of beer and he’s now drinking a glass of whiskey slowly, swirling the amber liquid around the glass as he watches her, the ice clinking against the sides occasionally.

“I don’t take breakups very well.” She states and he says nothing. She doesn’t take them well. she goes into a pit of despair, but he isn’t about to agree with that right now. “But for once, I want to do it differently.”

“I’m listening. What are your big plans?”

“I haven’t drunk enough for that big reveal yet.” She comments and stabs at her food.

“Interesting.”

Daniel doesn’t press for more information, instead he changes the subject entirely to put her back at ease. They make it through eating with mostly small talk, but it doesn’t feel awkward, forced or purely to fill the silence and that’s what he loved about their friendship.

“You know,” she begins, and gives a little cough to clear her throat. “We actually broke up a few weeks ago.”

“What?” He’s genuinely surprised by this. “Are you being serious right now?”

“I wanted to get my head around what had happened before I put it out there for people to cast their opinions.”

“And? How are you feeling? I can’t believe you kept this from me?”

“No, I wasn’t telling anyone. It’s not as though I told others but not you.” She tries to justify but he frowns. “What difference would it have made?”

“I found out tonight that you were single again, and I came straight over to make sure you were ok. If I’d known you had a few weeks to sit by yourself while all this was going on, I’d ha-”

“Interfered, for my benefit.” She concludes. “I love you Dan, honestly, I do. But I needed that time for me.”

“It’s shitty.” He tells her, ignoring the way his heart pounds at her saying I love you Dan.

“It’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“It’s not. It’s my break-up, not yours.” She says frustrated. “I love that you want to protect me and be there for me, but sometimes I need to hurt. And I need to be by myself, and cry and hurt and wallow in my own pity, even if that’s not what you want.”

“How could you want to suffer alone?” He asks confused.

“Is that really what you want to ask, or are you just upset that I didn’t need you at that time?” It’s a hard question to ask and she knows it the second it’s out there. Daniel shakes his head, his cheek clenches and he scoffs.

“That’s the thanks I get for wanting to help you?”

“I didn’t say I don’t appreciate you being here right now, because this is when I need you. I don’t want to be around you when I’m thinking of him.” She takes a lengthy drink from her glass, “when I’m with you, I want to be thinking of you and no-one else.” She tells him before taking another drink, unable to look him in the eye as she says it.

Daniel copies her, taking a deep drink of his own as he processes her words. “Just so I’m not misunderstanding what you’re saying, I’d like you to mansplain this. As simple as you can because I’m grabbing the stick and I want it to be the right end before I react.”

“The breakup was amicable. Civil. We both knew it had come to the end and we knew it wasn’t going anywhere.” She tells him. “And yet, when I thought of where I wanted my future to go, the only person I wanted to text was…well, you.” He’s itching to move but he forces himself to remain where he is as he stares at her. “Am I hurt that the relationship ended? Of course, spending over a year with someone will do that. But I’m not as hurt as I thought I would be.”

“You don’t miss him?”

“Everything that I liked about him, I have with you. And that’s what I’ve been thinking about. That’s why I needed time away from you.”

“But why? Why push me away like that?”

“Because I don’t trust myself around you right now.” She whispers.

“Why?” He knows now where this is going and he doesn’t want to spoon feed her the answers but damn does he want to hear it.

“I can’t rebound.” She whispers.

“I’m not a rebound.”

“I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’m so in love with you that I refuse to let us fail and fall apart.”

He watches as her chest rises and falls faster and the way that her throat works as she swallows. “I’m not supposed to fall for my best friend.”

“You’re telling me right now that you don’t feel that way for me? If you don’t feel anything, I’ll bottle mine back up and I’ll ignore it.”

“You’d do that?” she can’t hide her surprise at his words.

“It would kill me, but I’d do it for you. I can’t not have you in my life. I won’t risk it.”

“And if I wanted to take things slowly?” She asks and he grins, the type which makes her thankful she’s sitting, or she’d be feeling her knees go weak.

“I’d do that.”

“And if I asked for a small kiss?”

“I’d have to warn you that I’m going to make you fall in love with me.”

“I’m already there Dan, I already love you. Now kiss me.”

#daniel ricciardo blurb #daniel ricciardo one shot #daniel ricciardo drabble #daniel ricciardo fanfic #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fluff #formula 1 drabble

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eternalwritess · 1 month

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Hallo! Humbly requesting a romantic and/or platonic HH matchup =D

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Ace/biro

Personality: Depressed boi who is way too obsessed with fandoms. Awkward and asocial in new situations, but can grow comfortable with people over time. Loves physical touch (cuddles, hand holding, etc) but is paranoid about invading others' space. Very kind and wants to make sure everyone feels appreciated. Very lazy, doesn't exercise, chubby and a bit insecure about it. Would spend all the time in my room unless asked otherwise. Simentantiously doesn't care what others think (taking care of myself, how I look) and does care (don't want to seem rude or obtrusive). Always doing something (bouncing leg, cracking bones, snapping, drumming fingers). Cat person, but likes dogs too. Addicted to the Internet for high dopamine intake. Prefers sleep as an escape from existing. Bc of depression, usually hard to get happy/excited over things, but will fake it for others' sake. Has the tendency to avoid asking for help over a self-destructive mindset that I need to take care of myself. Will laugh at things that are not funny/inappropriate with no intention of disrespect. Has to think about social etiquette and finds socializing exhausting after a while. Avoids serious vices (alcohol, drugs, sex, etc). Introvert, but tries to help a conversation with other introverts.

Hobbies: Writing, dabbles in drawing, cross-stitch, singing, dancing, musical theatre, card games (rummy, solitaire, War, Uno, etc), obsessive researching, over-the-top analyses, ranting about random topics, maladaptive daydreaming, Internet, badminton if you squint

Pet peeves: Very intense stimuli, impatience, arrogance, selfishness, cruelty, unnecessary hostility, rowdiness, vulgarity, brashness, pushing serious boundaries, rudeness

I think that's everything. Hope I added enough ^-^

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥��…

𝓥𝓪𝓰𝓰𝓲𝓮!

When you met Vaggie it was most likely after the exterminations and when she got cast down into heaven. Charlie most likely wanted her to go around helping people and she found you most likely being bossed around and getting uncomfortable with some people

"Hey! Leave her alone assholes!!"

When you saw her come on over to beat the ever living shit out of them you were slightly terrified most likely being a new soul in hell and not knowing what was going on or what to do

She then grabbed you and took you somewhere else and calming you down and apologizing for being so aggressive

From then on she always helped you out around hell and protecting you from others

You slowly ended up opening up to her about smaller things

She totally gets you always moving or doing something (the bouncing legs and stuff) as she herself kinda does the same thing every now and then

Since she is an exorcist she would most likely have some sort of depressed attitude towards that saying that she feels as if she doesn't deserve you at times

"Shit I'm sorry it's just... nothing,"

Although you would take care of that telling her how great she is and that she needs to take care of herself and how much you love her

She doesn't mind that fact that you don't exercise. Actually she over works herself at times and you pull her back and help her chill more around you

She gives you a ton of physical touch. Constantly running her hands through your hair, giving you pats on the shoulder, hugging you, forehead kisses, she's obsessed with giving you affection and making sure that you know that you are loved

Whenever you're feeling down she'll always be there for you to comfort you and hug you telling you that you deserve the world

Not to mention she probably has some pet names for you too if you don't mind that

"Why the frown babe?"

Also going on you being addicted to sleeping or being a bit too lazy. She will also try and push you out of your comfort zone every now and then although making sure that you're not too uncomfortable and instantly pulling back when she sees that you are

She doesn't mind when you find it hard to get excited over things and honestly will tell you that it's hard for her to do so also as she tends to overthink things

When you shows her stuff on the internet she might not get it at first but will soon learn to and will also become obsessed making a few semi-cringy jokes on it every now and then

She likes that you avoid serious vices as she's uncomfortable with most of them

"Honestly... I'm not much of a drinker either,"

She loves watching you draw as she's not that good and she'll constantly ask you for tips will she sees you doing so

She'll also play card games with you and might be slightly competitive

Although she's not really unnecessarily hostile she's slightly hostile to others but you can always pull her back and when you tell her to stop she does but she always looks out for you

Also sorry to everyone for this taking so long. Some of the other matchups will also take a while as school is kicking my ass and there are a lot of matchups. They might close in the next few days so theres a warning :)

#hazbin hotel matchups #hazbin hotel matchup #match up #matchups #hazbin hotel match up #matchup #hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin hotel match ups

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princessgriffin1998 · 1 year

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Specimen FX-23: Project Snow Fox // REBIRTH

Hello everyone!

I know I’ve been trying to edit my previous instalment to this series so that I can proudly present: REBIRTH. Part two of the Specimen FX-23 story.

I won’t lie, it’s been really challenging personally to write and have the bravery to post this, but I’m going to continue to push myself outside my comfort zone. I have quite a bit of the story completed, so I am going to do my best to see my story fully realized. I want to give a huge thanks to @maladaptivexxdaydreaming for always being so sweet to me and encouraging me to write, and I want to thank you for clicking this post and checking out my fun, zany lil world I’ve created for myself. I hope you enjoy the story and please leave your feedback in the comments!

This is a Bucky Barnes x Reader story with an AFAB reader and the use of nicknames (no Y/N).

Find the full story here!

Chapter Summary: After a few days with Shuri at the Los Angeles Wakandan Outreach Centre, Captain Rogers has arrived to bring you to the Avengers Compound.

Word count: 5.5k

RECOVERY / Next Chapter

Chapter One: Good-bye

“Good morning Soldat.” a man's voice greets you as you pant. The last of the electric current fizzled out of your system as your eyes finally unscrewed themselves and tried to focus on the technician in front of you.

“Ready to comply.” you respond breathlessly.

“We have a different training exercise for you today. New combatants. Get equipped and be in the training room in 10 minutes.” with that your technician stalked out of the room, the door bolting behind him. The clamps around your biceps and ankles launched open with a hiss and you shakily stood. You knew better than to be late as you made your way over to the metal lab table that held your equipment for the day.

You showed no emotion as you took in the suit in front of you. It wasn’t your normal lab clothing. You reached out a cautious hand to test the dark coloured fabric. It felt strong despite how smoothly the fabric flowed. You quickly stripped and changed into the suit, uncaring of the leering gaze from the scientists behind you. They only spoke English anyways and you hadn’t been able to learn enough to understand what they said about you while you undressed. You quickly slipped on the black socks and knee high boots left out for you. You secured your hair down the nape of your neck and away from your face as you glanced at the last item on the table. It was completely foreign to you. Slowly with your index figure, you traced over the smooth material of the item. You picked it up and turned to the scientists behind you.

“What do I do with this?” you called out in Russian.

You expected the eye roll from the man with the glasses; Doctor Nagel. Something deep in your gut told you that you shouldn’t let them know how much you could understand. Even though they rolled their eyes or got irritated with you, you never used any of the English words you had been able to piece together over… well, your whole life here.

“Silly girl. Can’t you see the ear hooks?” Nagel motioned his hands up to the sides of his head as if that was supposed to clear things up for you. You blinked at him till he threw his hands up and stalked over to you.

“Give that to me. Hands at your sides.” he commanded and you handed the item to him then pinned your wrists to the outsides of your thighs.

Nagel was your creator. You had no choice but to listen when he spoke to you. You’d tried to resist before, but found you were physically incapable of denying his wishes. No matter how disgusting they were. Nagel reached out and slipped the object around your mouth and nose, hooking the loops over your ears and securing what you assumed to be some kind of fabric fastening around the back of your head and along the nape of your neck. You could feel where it connected to the neckline of your suit. Out of the corner of your eye you could see your startling reflection in the lab window. Suited in all black up to your nose, your eyes glinting over the top of your new muzzle.

“Perfect. I think she’s ready for the Widows boys! Get to the training room now.” Nagel sneered and you raised your chin as best you could from under the muzzle before taking quick strides towards the training door.

When you entered the room, you were surprised to see another girl, but upon another glance around the room you realized there were several women, all similarly outfitted to you, minus the guard over the face. At the end of the gym, there were new men. They weren’t dressed in the standard lab clothing that your handlers wore. They wore suits with pressed pants. An older gentleman stood between several assumed guards, thick black glasses perched on his wide nose. He had silver hair that was slicked back and his left hand twirled a lit cigar. A ring flashed on his pinky.

“Soldat! Center of the ring.” your technician snapped.

You moved smoothly to stand opposite the young woman in the centre of the ring. She had warm, deep toned skin and piercing brown eyes. Her hair, a texture you’d not seen on any of the regular technicians that came to your lab, was twisting tightly in rows starting at her forehead and tracing down the back of her head to her neck. She glared at you and you clenched your jaw. She was beautiful. Your only human experience thus far had been the cruel men of your lab. Faintly, you wondered if she’d be allowed to live after whatever training was coming next.

“Gentlemen, welcome to the next phase of human evolution!” Nagel announced from behind you. You pressed your palms flat against your thighs as Nagel made his way around you, tossing an arm around your shoulder as he spoke to the new men.

“Today, we would like to show you the fruits of your money and our labour. Gentlemen I’d like to introduce you to Specimen 23 of Project Snow Fox.”

You startle awake, the dream leaving you in a cold sweat as you try to catch your breath. Your heart was pounding in your ears, a sure fire sign of a migraine on its way. Subconsciously you rub the back of your neck as you lay back down on your pillow, trying to breathe deeply and taking in the bumpy white ceiling above you.

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, it hits you what day it is and you shoot upright in your hotel bed a second time.

Today is the day.

Any remaining traces of your nightmare vanish as you throw yourself out of bed and into the bathroom to begin your morning routine. Quickly brushing your teeth and securing your hair back and out of your face, you whip off your sleeping clothes and quickly change into an all black ensemble of cropped yoga pants, an athletic tank top with a sports bra underneath, and a black zip up. You make your bed and quickly go through your duffel bag again, everything perfectly folded and packed from when you’d refolded and packed it for the third time last night.

Today is the day.

Smiling, you slip on some black boots and grab a pair of aviator sunglasses. You put on a plain black ball cap, tucking your hair through the gap above the adjustment strap. You grab your backpack and adjust the straps slightly so that it sits comfortable on your back, giggling to yourself about the shape. Shuri had thought it was hilarious, grabbing the tiny backpack that looked like Cap’s suit. The two of you had snickered the entire time you were paying.

You quickly made sure you had all your important items inside the backpack; your music device from Shuri with your headphones, your journals and a pencil case of different pencils and fancy pens, a metal water bottle, a set of kimoyo beads Shuri had gifted you before your trip, and half a strip of photos from a photo booth. Shuri had taken you to a mall to get some American clothing and the two of you had stopped on a whim at a booth in the mall. Shuri had the top half of the strip and you had the bottom; two panels of you and Shuri grinning from ear to ear, almost spilling your smoothies on each other while laughing.

With a deep inhale, you take in one last glance at the hotel room that had been your home for the last week, before grabbing your room key and making your way down to the lobby to meet Shuri.

‘Today is the day.’

You and Shuri had been staying in a hotel down the road from the Wakandan Outreach Centre for six days. You haven’t seen Bucky or the rest of the team in nine.

After the fight in the lab you had been devastated. It had taken almost a full 24 hours for Shuri to be able to move you from your spot bundled up on the couch. All you’d had the energy for was quietly crying while Shuri rotated different movies for you. She put on all your favourites and brought you snacks that you couldn’t stomach and water you could barely sip.

You knew that Bucky might be upset with you for wanting to leave Wakanda, given that he’d been hiding the offer from you. He’d clearly not wanted you to move to America yet, and even though yesterday you had been hurting you had hoped that he still cared about you despite being worried about Hydra’s potential control. Obviously he just couldn’t trust Hydra, and you knew with his background that you would probably always be a threat to his family.

Maybe this was your fault too. You’d evidently read too far into his kindness. You’d been too unstable when you were first freed. Maybe he’d gotten close to you in order to tame you. Aside from Shuri, you didn’t have a metric for how much was too close to someone. He could’ve been a regular level of attentive and you’d misconstrued it.

Eventually after a day and a half you decided that your pity party needed to end. Shuri had already rescheduled some plans for the two of you because you couldn’t get off your couch. You still had Shuri, and even though you would be moving away from her she was still in your corner and so were Sam and Steve. You decided that you truly meant what you’d said in the lab. You didn’t need Bucky’s approval. You wanted to take the next step to better yourself and if he didn’t like it that was on him. Shuri had been surprised to see you up and about the next morning after two days of being almost comatose, but there you stood. Fresh from the shower, hair pulled back and secured away from your face, zipping up the athletic jacket you’d decided would be comfortable to travel in.

Oh and travel you did.

You didn’t think you’d ever tire of staring at the ocean. Shuri had let you sit in the cockpit of the jet with Ayo while she flew. The sun hitting the water had been beautiful, but the sun setting over the vast ocean as you made your way to America had been magnificent. Overwhelming in the best way possible. Shuri teased you mercilessly as you gazed out over the water for hours on end. After touching down in LA, Shuri decided it might be fun to stay in a hotel to try and help you integrate with regular society. It had been absolutely terrifying. Your nerves constantly telling you everyone who walked near you was a potential threat. You’d clenched your fists so hard in an effort to calm yourself your nails had broken skin. Shuri had gotten you your own room so that you could work on being by yourself, and that first night you spent in America you’d dragged the couch in your room in front of the door in addition to locking and dead bolting it.

Shuri had teased you about that too after making sure you were ok sleeping on your own.

You’d spent most of the week working in the Outreach Center with Shuri. It was a very similar routine to what you’d already established in Wakanda. During the day you had spent your time helping out around the Center, moving heavy things or just being an extra set of hands for the team and their work there. The Wakandan Outreach Center’s main focus was making sure that people of colour in the surrounding areas could have a place to go and feel supported. Most of the work in the Center was community based. Making sure kids could afford school supplies and lunches or have the resources they needed to complete projects and explore the advanced technology Wakanda had to offer. Shuri’s personal focus was encouraging girls to pursue science. The Outreach Center offered multiple different scholarships geared towards encouraging minorities to pursue fields that for centuries had been unattainable. One of your favourite memories of the week had been watching Shuri sign a cheque for a young woman to go to medical school. She and her mother, who’d previously been working two jobs to support them, sobbed tears of joy and you’d been honoured to see such a special moment take place. You’d added their teary smiles to your journal the minute you’d had some spare time.

Your hours in the Outreach Centre had not only been a fantastic way to work your jet lag, but also to watch people. Having your growth accelerated meant that you’d skipped on a lot of your developmental stages, adolescence, puberty. Here, you could just sit and watch all different kinds of people walk through the doors with their own mannerisms, subconscious habits, body language, and facial expressions. You’d learned how to read the different looks people give each other, the furrowed brow of confusion and how it differed from an angry brow. Most of your people-studies had come from Shuri and Bucky, so you’d always felt comfortable understanding what they meant when they spoke to you. With new people you’d learned just how much tone and inflection changed the meaning of a phrase. It started with trying to pitch your voice up when you made dry jokes because the people here hadn’t gotten your sense of humour at first. Slouching in your seat because you found people were freaked out by your robotic posture. So many things you learned while watching coworkers, friends, and families interact in the Centre. As you studied humanity more and more you confirmed to yourself that coming to America had been what you needed. You never could’ve learned all this from within your lab.

In the evenings when Shuri was finished with her team, the two of you went out and explored the city. Los Angeles was so different to anything you’d experienced in Wakanda. The insane hustle and bustle of the streets seemingly never ended. You and Shuri had explored malls together, you tightly holding her hand while the two of you browsed American fashion. The two of you had an absolute blast and Shuri promised the next time she came to visit you’d go to a theme park together. You’d been a little too nervous to make the trek this trip and your nerves were usually shot by the end of the day. Shuri had taken you to several beautiful parks, and the two of you had even taken a day trip to the beach.

You’d been a little too nervous to actually go into the water, but you’d plopped yourself on the shore and let the waves lap at your toes for hours. Shuri thought it was hilarious that you were so easily entertained, but staring out at the endless sea and sky was soothing. It made you feel completely peaceful and when you’d gotten back to your hotel room you’d passed out almost immediately. The jet lag probably wasn’t helping but with how many hours a night you slept normally you wondered if it even mattered.

After closing the door to your hotel room you made your way down to the lobby to meet Shuri.

The plan was to go to the Outreach Centre, where Captain Rogers would be parked with the Quinjet in stealth mode. You and Shuri had wanted to keep your arrival in America quiet. No need to alert Ross to another super soldier on the compound if they didn’t need to right away. You had listened in on Shuri’s conference call with the Captain and Stark, and by their tone you could tell Stark got a sick satisfaction out of hiding something from Thaddeus Ross.

“Good morning Foxy!” Shuri called as you approached her and the concierge desk. “How did you sleep? Good? Great! We’ve got about an hour for breakfast before we head to the Centre.” She grinned, taking both your key cards and sliding them to the receptionist.

Holding out her bag, you carried your luggage together in one hand as Shuri took your other to guide on the familiar walk to the Outreach Centre. An hour for breakfast really meant fifty-five minutes of goofing off in the IHOP across the street before realising you had five minutes to be on the jet.

The two of you were seated in your favourite corner booth next to the window that let you watch all the busy people making their way through the city. Shuri chattered excitedly about her latest tech project for the Centre while you counter all the exits in the building (One to the patio, a fire exit by the bathroom, one back door through the kitchen and the main entrance by the hostess podium), despite knowing them by heart after a week of breakfasts here. Shuri had wanted to come here one morning after seeing an ad on the TV. She’d decided that she’d never been so she’d treat herself and drug you along for some chocolate chip pancakes. After that she’d gotten hooked on everything the franchise had to offer and you’d eaten more waffles than you cared to admit.

The IHOP staff, to their credit, were absolutely lovely everytime you came in. They’d quickly accepted that you would always want a corner table where you could view the door, no matter how empty the restaurant was. They’d gotten used to your strange accent, a combination of Russian and somehow African while you tried to order your food in the morning. After the first few raised brows, you’d immediately begun correcting your accent to whichever variation of English was being spoken to you. Your American accent was fairly advanced compared to the beginning of the week when you’d arrived, but some words were always spoken with a bit of East African wrapped around them. The staff had also gotten accustomed to you ordering at least two meals, occasionally a third if you were having a particularly active day.

This corner was a particularly advantageous spot because you could see every entrance to the building, not to mention you could watch the breeze change to show the arrival of a stealth craft in the parking lot across the street.

“-it’s really something special Snow, I can’t wait for you to see it! Hey, are you even listening to me?” Shuri asked, poking your knuckles with her coffee spoon and startling you out of your surveillance.

You jumped slightly, finally tearing your gaze away from the window.

“My apologies, Shuri. I think I am a little bit distracted this morning.” you answered sheepishly, heat blooming across your face.

Shuri just snickered.

“Don’t worry. I know better than to take offence. If you’re worried about travelling, don’t be. Steve’s actually a great pilot when he’s not sacrificing himself for the greater good. And Stark’s A.I isn’t half bad. You’ll get to New Jersey in no time. Plus once you’re there you’ll be begging to leave Jersey and come home to me so everything will work out.” Shuri joked. You laughed despite not quite understanding why “Jersey” would be somewhere you’d desperately want to leave.

“I guess… I am worried they will not like me. I threw Natasha into a wall, and she accepted my apology but the rest of the team does not know me at all. What if they hate me?” You whispered, fidgeting with the handle of your mug.

Shuri just smiled and reached out a hand, clasping your fingers between her own.

“Listen Snow Fox, it’s ok to be scared of things. You’ve been through so much change these last few months. It’s natural that you’re nervous, but I just want you to remember all that you’ve accomplished so far. You’ve improved your communication, your memory, even your fighting. You’re doing so well and growing so much. I’m very proud of you and even if they haven’t said it, I know the team is too.” You could hear the message behind her words; Bucky was proud of you.

It’s not that you didn’t want to believe her, but in the six days you’d been in America you hadn’t heard from any of the team personally aside from Steve. Shuri’s music device also had a communication link, so he’d messaged you briefly when you’d arrived in LA, happy that you’d gotten there safely. Aside from a few brief conversations about your room and if you had any food allergies, you’d barely heard from him.

Bucky however had not reached out since your fight.

“Thanks Shuri. It is nice to be reminded sometimes, of where I started and where I am now. I’m just nervous they won’t like me. I know I am… odd to say the least.” Shuri just laughed.

“Well who on their team isn’t? You’ve got two 100 year old super idiots, a former KGB spy, a guy who cosplays Robin Hood for a living, modern-day Icarus, and a billionaire funding all their crazy. Not to mention a witch and an android. I’m sure you’ll fit in just fine.” Shuri grinned. As you smiled back and squeezed her hand, your ears picked up a large change in the wind outside.

“Ah, I take it the Quinjet has arrived on top of the Centre. Alright let’s pay up and see you off then!” Shuri smiled, flagging down your server so she could settle the bill.

Much to your server’s chagrin, Shuri pressed a $100 note in his palm as a tip with a litany of gratitude towards him and the team for being so kind to the both of you this week. She then stuffed another five of them in the tip jar on your way out. When you were royalty, unlimited money was something fun to play with, you supposed.

As you made your way across the street, you clutched the straps of your duffle bag so hard your knuckles turned white.

‘You can do this. You can do this. Steve is very friendly. You are going to be fine.’ you chanted in your head over and over, as if the harder you thought about it the easier it would be to believe.

You forced a smile on your face and waved at the workers in the Center as you made your way up to the roof. Most of the Wakandans and volunteers were used to your strange behaviour so you hoped your expression looked cheerful. You dropped Shuri’s bag off at her office, adjusting your bags and checking their contents for the 3rd time that morning before making your way to the roof.

Before Shuri opened the door, you both put your sunglasses on and she grabbed your free hand.

“Ready?” she grinned.

You did your best to plaster a smile on your face and the reflection in her glasses was almost believable.

“Ready.” you nodded, before Shuri threw the door open.

Watching the Quinjet come out of stealth mode was a sight you didn’t think would ever get old. The wind whipped around you briefly as the ramp descended, and a casually dressed Steve Rogers came to greet you.

“Good morning Snow Fox!” he called, a grin across his face.

You could feel the tension draining out of your shoulders as he made his way over to greet you.

“Good morning Captain!” You chirped happily.

Steve just rolled his eyes.

“Y’know I said you can still call me Steve right? We’re friends. Friends don’t speak so formally.” he teased, heat blooming across your face.

“Yes.. I-I forget sometimes.” you stammered, wincing at how unsure you sounded.

Steve however did not let that deter him.

“Well that’s fine. We’ve got a whole flight for you to remember. Good morning Princess.” Steve said with a nod to Shuri.

Shuri just snorted in response.

“What are we not friends? I already call you Steve, you can call me Shuri.” she said as the two shook hands.

Steve just smiled.

“Well, the Quinjet is pretty fast. It shouldn’t take more than an hour or so for us to get to the compound. I can take your bag while you say goodbye if you’d like?” Steve offered, a hand extended.

You nodded and passed your duffle along to him before turning to face your best friend. You weren’t sure what to say but luckily Shuri always had something to say and beat you to it.

“Well, you have my contact in your device and kimoyo beads. You can call me at any time. I’ll be about nine hours ahead of you, but if you need me I’ll answer at any time you know that. If you hate it you can call me and I’ll come get you, no questions asked ok? And I know you haven’t been sleeping well and I’ve already notified Helen Cho, the compound's chief doctor so she can give you something if you can’t sleep. Remember to update me on your training! I want to know exactly how bad ass my best friend is getting!” Shuri rambled, her hands wringing nervously in front of her stomach.

You could feel tears beginning to pool in your eyes as you threw your arms around her. Shuri inhaled sharply before wrapping her arms around your torso as tightly as she could.

“Thank you for everything my friend.” you started in Xhosa, knowing how much it meant to Shuri that you’d tried to learn as much of her native tongue as possible. “I promise to call often. I’ll send you so many pictures and videos of my training you will tire of me I promise. I want you to know that I never would’ve gotten to this point if it wasn’t for you.”

“I’m well aware.” Shuri teased, her words thick with emotion.

“Well you deserve to hear it. You deserve to hear that you are the most amazing best friend anyone could ask for, and if there is anything that I am grateful for in my existence, it is that we had the chance to meet and become friends. You have shown me kindness that I will never be able to repay, and I promise that I will do everything in my power to share that with the world. You gave me purpose, my friend. I swear to make your efforts worthwhile.” you grinned, pulling away from her you both giggled at the tears in each others eyes.

“Call me as soon as you’re settled in your room! I’m assuming they have a tour or orientation planned for you. So call me as soon as you can!” Shuri grinned, swiping at the moisture under her eyes.

You let out a watery laugh as you nodded.

“I will. See you soon, friend.” you smiled.

With one final hug you made your way over to where Steve was watching the two of you from the ramp. A soft smile graced his face as you turned to wave a Shuri one last time before boarding the jet.

“So how has your week in LA been?” Steve asked, trying to make small talk as the two of you made your way over to the cockpit.

“It has been… very busy.” you admitted, as you took off your backpack and settled into the seat behind Steve’s right side.

“Well that’s good! Lots of new experiences I’d ima- what is that?” he asked, pointing a finger at your bag.

You flushed under his sudden attention.

“Um.. .Shuri suggested I get a backpack and thought this one was funny…” you trailed off in embarrassment.

Steve just threw his head back and laughed.

“That’s great! Sam is gonna be so jealous.” He grinned and you beamed back.

“I would imagine he’ll be quite scandalised that there was no Falcon merchandise in the store.” you quipped, causing Steve to laugh even harder as he re-engaged stealth mode and began the launch sequence.

“Oh don’t even start. He’s such a drama queen sometimes.” Steve said with a roll of his eyes.

You smiled as Steve launched into an anecdote about Sam wanting to create merchandise for ‘Red Wing’, his robot AI that helped them on missions. Slowly the nerves set in as you thought about the rest of the team.

“Steve?” you started, the man in question humming in acknowledgement.

“What is the rest of the team like? I’ve only met Sam, Natasha, Clint, and… Well what are the others like?” You asked, unable to ask Steve about the one member of the team you were truly curious about.

“Well, Wanda isn’t that far off from you in age. I think you’re biologically around the same. Vision… Vision actually reminds me a lot of you. He’s an android so while he’s very intelligent, we all know there are some “human” things that escape him sometimes. He’s very polite though and head over heels for Wanda. The two of them are actually very sweet together. Burce, our team's previous resident doctor, is actually off the grid right now. We haven’t seen or heard from him in about two years. I’m sure you’ve seen the files on the Hulk?” Steve turned to ask and you nodded.

“Right, well Bruce used to have a really hard time controlling him. After Ultron, he took off. We hope that he’s doing better and that he’ll return someday… but after that there’s Tony Stark, Iron Man.” you winced.

“Are you sure it’ll be ok with him for me to come live with you all?” you asked in a small voice.

Steve just shook his head.

“You don’t have to worry about Tony. I made sure he saw your progress reports with Shuri before you even left Wakanda. Tony is very critical, but he’s not as much of an asshole as he makes himself out to be. He knows that you were successfully deprogrammed by Shuri and that you’re making a lot of progress, but not as much as you’d like. If he does anything that makes you really uncomfortable, if anyone on the team does, I want you to know you can come tell me. Not just as your Captain, but as your friend. We’re all here for you Snow Fox.” Steve turned to smile warmly at you and you offered a small smile back.

“We’ve got about forty-five minutes before we touch down at the compound. Any other questions before we land?” Steve asked.

You just shook your head.

“No, I am alright. I am mostly just nervous. I… I just really want to make a good impression I guess.” you bit out, picking at the skin around your nails since Shuri had worked so painstakingly last night to paint them to perfection for your first day with the Avengers.

Steve just smiled and reached a hand behind himself to pat your knee.

“Look, I promise that everyone will be thrilled to meet you. Sam’s been compiling movies for us to watch, Nat and Wanda are just happy there’s going to be another girl around the compound, and Tony might be a hard ass but I know once he meets you he’s gonna love you.”

You took in a deep breath, rubbing your knee where you could still feel the warmth from Steve’s hand.

“And Bucky?” you asked nervously. You hadn’t had the courage to bring him up until now.

Steve inhaled sharply, taking a moment to consider his next words carefully.

“Bucky is… complicated. I know you guys had a fight before we left. He wouldn’t tell me what about, but he’s requested some solo missions to hunt down a few Hydra stragglers so he’s not actually home at the compound right now. Do you.. If you want I mean- do you wanna talk about it at all?” Steve asked, his hand coming up to awkwardly scratch at his neck.

You huffed and smiled to yourself.

“Not at all, but thank you for offering.”

“Look I know it isn’t my place, but he really does care. Bucky has always been a “Mother Hen” if you will, he’s always been a protector. He had me, and a baby sister back before the war, and I’m sure he told you all the trouble we got ourselves into back then. He’s always been the man to protect his family, even if he maybe says some dumb stuff sometimes. I don’t know the details of your fight and I won’t push it if it makes you uncomfortable, but I do know that Bucky cares about you more than I’ve seen him care about something in a long time and I hope that when he gets back the two of you can work things out.” Steve turned again, offering you a hesitant smile.

You did your best to return it as you looked out the window of the jet.

“So, what kind of music have you been listening to this week?” Steve asked lightly and you sighed, grateful for the change in subject.

Steve reached a cord over to you and you beamed, recognizing the correct input to connect to your music device. Steve caught your smile and beamed right back as you went through your recently played songs.

“Well, Shuri and I have been listening to a new artist this week, his name is Stevie Wonder.”

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