everything abt this is outdated but ykw. tag yourself anyway, i’m jean and fred
text ID under cut:
mom jeans (jean): 1) leader but not by choice 2) never forgets a birthday 3) gets away with things due to her reputation
mom jeans (jean): 1) leader but not by choice 2) never forgets a birthday 3) gets away with things due to her reputation
fuzzy elf (kurt): 1) tries to be hip with the kids (is a kid) 2) honorary catboy 3) fingerguns his way out of situations
:3 (kitty): 1) impulsive shopper 2) livetweets everything 3) says ‘omg’ and ‘ttyl’ outloud 4) bakes muffins for her friends! they are inedible!
skater boi (evan): 1) cool guy syndrome 😎 (undiagnosed adhd) 2) steals food off his friends' plates 3) PARKOUR!
e-girl blueprint (rogue): 1) hopeless romantic 2) only child AND middle child energy 3) knows the best thrifting spots
“””team leader””” (lance): 1) tries a lot, fails a lot 2) anger is default emotion 3) probably named his car betty or smth
actual team leader (pietro). 1) cool guy syndrome 😎 (unmedicated adhd) 2) causes problems on purpose 3) motivated by attention
toad (todd): 1) thinks he's just soo funny. well, he is. 2) hasn't showered in a month 3) stays out of drama but Will grab the popcorn
bombshell blonde (tabitha): 1) self-loathing vs superiority complex: fight! 2) flirts with friends 3) parties to avoid being alone with her thoughts
scarlet bitch (wanda): 1) hates authority figures 2) cuts her own hair. and clothes. 3) in a constant state of overstimulation 4) deserves to snap tbh
hey it’s (fred)!: 1) cries easily 2) would literally murder for friends 3) treats plushies like living creatures
professor clean (xavier): 1) “hello el gee bee tee que community" 2) adopts every child he sees 3) knows everything and yet nothing at all
grrrr (logan): 1) that sounds like a you problem." 2) acts like he hates kids but tacks their drawings to the fridge 3) believes that violence is the answer
weather report (ororo): 1) everyone's bisexual awakening 2) has high expectations for everyone, including herself 3) live laugh love 😊😊😊 or else
mr beast but like actually (hank): 1) god, i could really use a drink." *makes chamomile tea* 2) longs to be a smooth rock basking in the sun 3) gives unwarranted life lessons
another blue one (mystique): 1) #girlboss 2) “gay rights but only for me" 3) loves her son but will dropkick other children
magnum dong (magneto): 1) heterophobic 2) "you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair" 3) does not love his son AND will dropkick other children
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I love X-Men Evo, and I have hundreds of incorrect quotes saved. I love all of these dumb teens (as well as Logan and Ororo) very much.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Scott: No, I’ll tell you what the problem is! The problem is—
Lance: {holds his breath and covers his ears}
Scott: Great, that’s just what your brain needs. Less oxygen.
— — — — —
Pietro: Isn’t it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they’re annoying?
Pietro: Imagine if people did that to other people? I would’ve been dead years ago!
— — — — —
Rogue: Behold, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
— — — — —
Kurt, during training: Hey, who wants to see an impression of my mother?
Scott: Kurt, no.
*Kurt teleports out of the room*
Scott: KURT, NO!
— — — — —
Scott: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Kurt: Plane tickets?
Evan: Concert tickets?
Kitty: Prostitution?
Scott, eyes closed, holding his shades: Glasses.
— — — — —
Lance: {walks in}
Todd and Fred: {making horse noises at each other}
Lance: {walks out}
— — — — —
Tabitha: Every now and then, I like to do as I’m told just to confuse people.
— — — — —
Kitty: {running away from mutants working for Magneto while on the phone}
Scott: Where are you?!
Kitty: I don’t know! You tell me!
Scott: Any sort of notable sign or something?!
Kitty: Umm…staircase!
Scott:
Scott: Anything else? Like a room name?! Any item that’s unique?!
Kitty: Fire extinguisher!
Rogue, muttering under her breath: She’s gonna die…
— — — — —
Kurt: When life gives you lemons—
Rogue: Squeeze them in people’s eyes.
— — — — —
Evan: Someday, in the distant future, people will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to respond with “baby don’t hurt me”.
Kitty: So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?
— — — — —
Wanda: Can you pass the pepper?
Todd: What’s the ~magic word~?
*Wanda begins chanting*
Pietro, panicking: JUST TAKE IT OH MY GOD
— — — — —
Xavier: I admit, I was wrong to give up on you all so quickly.
The Brotherhood: Good.
Xavier: However—
The Brotherhood: No, no however. Just be wrong. Just live in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it.
— — — — —
Lance: Where’s the yogurt? I thought you went to the store?
Pietro: {incoherent mumbling}
Lance: Huh?
Pietro: IT WAS ON THE TOP SHELF
Lance:
Pietro: I COULDN’T REACH IT
— — — — —
*at the zoo*
Lance: So, what are they in for?
Kitty: This isn’t prison.
Lance: So they can leave?
Kitty: Well, no but—
Lance, pointing at a penguin: I bet that one killed somebody.
— — — — —
Xavier: Do you know why I chose you as my first student?
Scott: I assumed you lost a bet.
— — — — —
Scott: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Evan: “Best smile”.
Kurt: “Nicest personality”.
Kitty: “Most likely to start a bar fight”.
Rogue: “Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one”.
— — — — —
Jean: Evan, if we get out of this alive, I will kill you.
Evan: So what’s my incentive to live?
— — — — —
Kurt: Are you a morning person or an evening person?
Scott: If I’m lucky, I get a good few minutes in during the middle of the day.
— — — — —
Scott: Sorry I’m late. I broke down on my way here.
Rogue: Is your car okay?
Scott: Car?
Rogue:
The X-Men:
— — — — —
Lance: Mystique is gonna try and have you killed.
Scott: I can’t say that surprises me.
— — — — —
Kurt, about Tabitha: I don’t know what she’s planning, but I can tell you two things. We won’t like it, and it won’t be legal.
— — — — —
Pietro: Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
— — — — —
Todd: Why are only roosters allowed to start the day screaming?
Lance: Because we live in the same house and I will murder you.
— — — — —
Scott: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club.
Wanda: What club?
Rogue: The hating Magneto club.
Wanda:
Wanda: The fuck? I should be the leader of that club.
— — — — —
Kitty: Guys! Logan just fell down the stairs!
Ororo: And what did he say?
Kitty: Should I skip the swearing?
Ororo: Yes.
Kitty: Then he fell in silence.
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