#yeah i spent 20 minutes making a little dog creature what of it.

[spacyacey]

their name is NOT halfway chort its NERVOUS NELLY i'll have you know

#GreatGodGrove #great god grove #yeah i spent 20 minutes making a little dog creature what of it.

[bbangsoonie]

teach me about love

member: kevin genre: fluff (preschool teacher!kevin au) word count: 2,120 synopsis: when your brother asks you to pick up your nieces from school, you find a teacher that you find to be cuter than the toddlers there.

a/n: happy birthday to our moonlight boy, kevin 🌙

You didn’t really like kids. They were adorable, of course, but they were snotty walking embodiments of germs and you had no idea how to entertain them. They were absolutely precious when sleeping but their tantrums terrified you.

Whenever they came up to you with those bright expectant eyes, you didn’t know what to do except pet their head. Everyone around you would scold you saying that they were children, not dogs. But in your defense, they didn’t seem to mind.

To be honest, you preferred dogs over kids. They were cute all the time.

Nonetheless, you still adored your nieces. The older one, Ahyoung, reminded you of your own past self. She was shy and reserved but sought out love and attention. She constantly needed assurance to fight early signs of anxiety. The younger one, Soyoung, was the complete opposite; she was loud and outgoing. She easily made friends with everyone and adjusted well to new environments.

So when your brother asked you for a last minute favor, you were more than happy to pick them up at their preschool. Unfortunately, however, you were terrible with directions and ended up 20 minutes late.

Apologizing profusely to the staff and teachers, you made your way throughout the building to find their classroom. That was another struggle of its own.

“Auntie Y/n!” you heard two familiar voices screech. You laughed as they ran up to you and hugged your legs.

“Sorry I’m late girls,” you pouted as you squished their cheeks.

“It’s okay, Auntie! Teacher Kevin was playing house with us,” Ahyoung beamed.

“Teacher Kevin was our dog!” Soyoung giggled.

You looked up to see a male teacher sheepishly escape from the tiny playhouse. You held back a laugh, pitying him for what the girls put him through.

“I’m sorry about that,” you chuckled.

“No worries,” he smiled. “It’s my job and I love kids. I had fun playing with them too.”

“I’m Y/n,” you introduced as you held out a hand. “I’m Ahyoung and Soyoung’s aunt. I came to pick them up since my brother got caught up in a work emergency.”

“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Kevin,” he said as he shook your hand. You knew it was unprofessional to think this but he was cute. Like, really cute.

Trying to leave before your smiling cheeks could reveal your thoughts, you quickly collected the girls’ bags and helped them put their jackets on. You bid their cute teacher goodbye and happily suggested an aunt-niece ice cream date. They cheered at the idea of sweets and raced to your car.

The next week, your brother asked if you could pick the girls up from school again. Apparently they had been bugging him to have their favorite aunt come every day.

You weren’t sure if it was his flattery or if it was their sneaky plan for ice cream but you didn’t mind. As a freelancer, you had a flexible schedule. You were glad to spend time with your nieces and catch another glimpse of their teacher.

This time, you made sure to leave your house early. You ended up arriving before dismissal and watched as the kids ran around in the playground. Something about seeing Kevin’s eyes sparkle in front of them made you soft. He seemed so genuinely happy and looked at each student with honey dripping from his eyes.

Soyoung squealed as she chased after a boy who tapped her free in a game of freeze tag. She was a little confused about the rules but the effort was there.

While still keeping an eye on the children, Kevin approached you and asked if you wanted a juice box. You kindly declined, thanking him for the offer.

“You’re really good with the little ones,” you complimented.

“Ah, no, they’re the ones who are good with me,” he shyly shook his head. “I’m thankful that they see me as a fun and respectable teacher.”

“I find young kids to be difficult,” you confessed. “I don’t know how to match their level.”

“I get you. It’s definitely not easy to figure out what they want and try to communicate with them with their still-developing language skills. I’m still not great at it. I just try to improve a little more every day,” he said humbly.

He was a lot better than you who was quick to give up and run away. His words made you reflect and feel slightly guilty.

The bell chimed, making the students rush to line up in front of the door. Kevin left your side to gather everyone together and take them back inside to gather their belongings.

By now, a handful of parents had arrived and were waiting for their children. One by one, the students walked out with their matching yellow chick backpacks, excitedly running up to their guardian.

Your nieces greeted you in that high pitched shriek you loved, body slamming into your open arms. With them in your embrace, you gave them a tight squeeze before getting up and holding their hands to take them to the car.

“Wait!” you heard Kevin call out. Turning around, you were surprised to see him running towards you. When he caught up to you, he held out a book. Taking it, you read the title.

“The Body Language of Toddlers”

“I thought you might find this book useful,” his hands fumbled awkwardly, not knowing where to go. His gesture brought you a warm feeling.

“Thank you, Kevin. I’ll be sure to give it a read,” you smiled.

“Ooooh,” Ahyoung wiggled her eyebrows, making both you and Kevin blush. You ruffled her hair and ushered her towards your vehicle.

Picking the girls up from school became a biweekly thing for you. Every Monday and Friday, you would arrive ten minutes early to chat with Kevin as he told you funny stories that happened throughout the day. And when you worked with a bunch of preschoolers, there were a lot of those types of stories.

You listened as he went on about how a little boy woke up from a nap thinking he had an argument with his friend because of a nightmare he had. Kevin had to convince him that it was all a dream and that his friend did not actually steal his gummy worms and lie about it.

The way he spoke about his students was endearing. He made them sound like lovely angels even when they were cranky and misbehaving.

“We’re looking for chaperones for the upcoming field trip if you’re interested,” he cautiously brought up. “We only had a few parents sign up so we’d really appreciate any extra helping hands.”

Panicking, you stuttered about how you didn’t have the confidence to keep rowdy kids in check at a public space. He assured you that your only responsibility would be to make sure no one ran off and to accompany kids to the bathroom if they had to separate from the group.

He was a smooth talker. He somehow persuaded you into agreeing and you couldn’t believe you left the school that day after signing the form.

“Auntie, do you like Teacher Kevin?” Ahyoung asked you in the car ride back home.

“Sure, Teacher Kevin is nice,” you hummed.

“No, she means do you like like him?” Soyoung pressed.

You feigned innocence and pretended not to understand what they were talking about. They grilled you about how often you talked with him and even pointed out that he didn’t talk to other parents like that. They sure were smart-witted for their age.

On the day of the field trip, you spent a long time deciding on what to wear. You had no idea how casual you were supposed to dress as a chaperone.

You ended up choosing a simple outfit and rushed out the door to avoid being late. You had to say you were excited. It had been ages since you last visited an aquarium. And maybe the extra butterflies in your stomach were because of a certain someone you were looking forward to seeing.

Meeting Kevin outside of the school felt different. He stood out in the crowd of tiny humans. Even more so once you entered the place and you noticed that most of the visitors were families, students, or couples.

You softly smiled as you watched the kids fawn over colorful fish and gawk at sharks. It felt like you were returning to your own childhood innocence. You followed Ahyoung, who was pulling at your sleeve, to the jellyfish section where she asked you to take a picture of her with the transparent creature.

The photos came out so incredibly that you had to immediately send them to your brother. He texted back almost instantly and you scoffed when you read his message.

“Heck yeah I made that. Those are my genes right there.”

Rolling your eyes, the corners of your lips twitched up as you put the device away. You guided Ahyoung back to the rest of the group and ran into Kevin who was coming back from the bathroom with another student.

“How are you enjoying the trip so far?” he asked.

“It’s nice. Honestly not as chaotic as I thought it’d be,” you admitted.

“Oh don’t jinx it. Lunch time will be hectic,” he warned.

He was right. Between picky kids and the kimbap packed by their parents, the unwanted vegetables were flown around the picnic table. You barely managed to avoid the carrot that was flung in your direction. Unluckily, you were unable to dodge the spinach that was now tangled in your hair.

Kevin laughed as he tried to help you take it out, cracking a joke about it looking like seaweed and you looking like a mermaid dragged out of the ocean.

“He means you’re pretty, Auntie!!” Soyoung eagerly translated on his behalf. “Mermaids are super super pretty. Like Ariel, the princess!”

This raised a teasing crowd of “ooh”s from the group of preschoolers.

“Teacher Kevin and Auntie Y/n sitting in a tree,” a boy began chanting, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

His friend made a face and screamed “ew,” making him laugh uncontrollably. Meanwhile, Kevin was trying his best to cover his burning ears. He pulled the beanie over his ears, not wanting to expose his embarrassment.

“My daddy said no boy is good enough for Auntie but I’ll tell him nice things about you, Teacher Kevin. Just specially for you,” Ahyoung proudly announced.

Awkwardly coughing, you stuffed her cheeks with another roll of kimbap. Her muffled cries of resistance were appeased with a juice box shoved into her mouth. The sweet drink diverted her attention away from you and back to her lunch.

You two were now officially shipped by all of Kevin’s students. Even the other teachers giggled as they passed by you.

By the end of the field trip, you were one of the last ones to leave. After all the other students and teachers departed from the aquarium, Kevin escorted you to the car with a sleeping Ahyoung in his arms and a sleeping Soyoung in yours.

You both carefully placed them in their car seats and closed the door after buckling their seat belts. Now that you were alone with him, you didn’t know what to say. Despite the silence, it wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable.

“So have you warmed up to the idea of kids yet?” he finally asked after clearing his throat.

“The book you gave me definitely taught me a lot of things,” you nodded. “Now I’m not completely terrified of them. And seeing you handle kids comforts me.”

“Really? How so?”

“I don’t know. It’s just… you so effortlessly take care of them and I can see how much you cherish each and every one of your students. I envy that.”

“Trust me, it’s not as easy as you think it is,” he chuckled.

Silence fell between you again but you simply enjoyed his presence. You turned your head to see him already staring at you. With your eyes, you wordlessly asked if there was something he wanted to say.

“So uh tomorrow’s Saturday,” he suddenly mentioned. He was fiddling with a loose thread on his sweater and hesitated to speak up again.

“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” he blurted. You couldn’t stop the smile that crept up on your face.

“Nope.”

“Would you like to um grab dinner with me tomorrow then?”

He anxiously held his breath as he waited for your response. Biting his lips, he wondered if he had ruined things by going too fast.

“Sure. How’s 6?” you finally answered.

“6 is great. 6 is lovely. Wonderful. Perfect,” he replied with a huge grin.

a/n: calling all kevin enthusiasts aka @reverienostalgia

i also may or may not have kinda wrote my little cousins into this fic.. 👉🏻👈🏻

#the boyz #the boyz kevin #kevin moon #tbz kevin #tbz #the boyz fluff #tbz fluff #kevin moon fluff #tbz kevin fluff #the boyz kevin fluff #the boyz fic #tbz fic #kevin moon fic #the boyz kevin fic #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #the boyz kevin scenarios #the boyz kevin imagines #kevin moon imagines #kevin moon scenarios

[seasmonster]

Same Ring ➳ Barbara Gordon x Reader

Summary: You come home on a normal day with something special to ask your girlfriend.

Words: 1.1k

Request: @carolinesbookworld​ asked: 19. “Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.” 

Originally posted: 7/7/20 on @beskarjedi​

Your face broke into a smile as you entered your apartment. It often did; your home, and the two amazing creatures that resided in it with you, made you happier than you could ever have imagined yourself becoming. Today, though — today was special. As you called out a “honey, I’m home!” you felt your stomach flutter with butterflies.

You placed your bag on the rack by the door and fished out the bone you’d gotten for your German Shepherd puppy, Bandit. Taking a second to check your face in the mirror — you did have a half-healed cut on your lip, but there wasn’t much to be done about that — and patting the pocket of your jacket, you straightened yourself and made your way to Barbara’s office.

“Hi, baby,” you greeted as your came up behind her, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek.

“Welcome home, sweetheart,” she answered, twisting in her chair to look at you. “How was your day?”

“Incredibly boring,” you sighed. “Better now, though.” You grinned, placing a series of kisses on her face.

“You’re cheesy.”

“You’re cute when you blush.”

“Are you gonna take a nap before going back out?”

“I thought I’d stay in tonight, actually.”

“You’re gonna let the bats take all the glory for a night?”

You smirked, wiggled your eyebrows suggestively, and opened your mouth, only to have Babs clamp her hand over it and roll her eyes. After a few seconds and a warning look, she dropped her hand, but continued watching you warily.

You waited until she let her guard down before quickly stating, “I think my night’s going to be more glorious.”

“Stop it.”

You snickered as you moved to crouch beside her and scratch behind the ears of Bandit, who was asleep on her lap. She was big enough now that she was able to jump in and out of Barbara’s lap whenever she felt like it, much to Babs’ displeasure. The dog opened her eyes briefly, looked at you, and went back to sleep.

“Not to toot my own horn or anything,” said Babs, “but the dog loves me more.”

“Can’t blame her. However —” you took the bone out of your back pocket and waved it in front of Bandit’s face — “I come bearing bribes.”

Bandit’s eyes opened again and she quickly snatched the bone out of your hand and leapt from your girlfriend’s lap, deciding to enjoy her treat in the other room.

Babs watched her as she trotted out. “Where’d you get that?”

“Oh, I stole the femur of a bad guy I killed. Figured, why not? He wasn’t using it.”

She glared at you.

“Kidding. C’mon, I’m a thief, not a murderer.”

“You were a thief,” she corrected, tilting your chin up to look at her.

You smiled goofily, adoringly. “I was a thief,” you confirmed. “Until this beautiful girl in a bat costume came and made me see that there were better things I could do with my skills.” You took one of her hands in yours, brushing your lips over her knuckles. “It’s our anniversary,” you mumbled against them.

“Our anniversary is in November.”

“Of when we started dating, yeah. But tonight’s the anniversary of you kicking my ass, knocking the evil out of me, and making me gay.”

“You weren’t evil, and I’m pretty sure you were already gay.”

“Oh, but I was so much gayer after seeing you.”

She rolled her eyes again, but she was smiling. God, you loved that smile. She was so, so beautiful.

“It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know,” you told her. “You, Barbara Gordon, are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the coolest, toughest, most badass person I’ve ever met. You make me so happy every day with all your tiny, sweet little actions, your goofy jokes, the adorable things you say—”

“You’re really getting into this speech, huh?” she asked, giggling.

“Bear with me here, baby. As I was saying, you make me happy, and you make me feel fulfilled. I’ve spent my whole life chasing after things I thought I wanted and now… I’ve got nothing to chase, nothing to ask for. Everything I want is right here.” You shuffled, adjusting yourself so you were down on one knee.

“W-wait a minute, are you— is this—”

“I thought about doing it in a more romantic setting, but I know you’re not big on grand gestures.” You fished the small velvet box from your pocket. “But I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” You positioned it before yourself, one hand holding the bottom and the other waiting on top. “So, Barbara Gordon —” you opened it — “will you bring me to Wife City?”

Babs opened her mouth to answer, but closed it and tilted her head when she looked at the ring. “What made you pick that ring in particular?” she asked, voice an octave higher than normal.

“Uhh… the jewelry magazine you left open on the coffee table with this particular ring circled in red pen. I know I’m not a genius like you, but I am able to take a hint.”

She slapped her hands over her face. “Oh my god, I’m an idiot. That wasn’t meant as a hint.” When she pulled them away, she was blushing furiously. With a huff, she took a key from the ring on her belt-loop and unlocked one of the drawers on her desk. Out of it, she drew a box matching the one you were holding. “I didn’t mean to leave that mag out. The reason I circled that ring is because it was the one I chose to get for you.” She flipped open the lid of the box and, sure enough, inside laid an identical ring.

You stared at it for a second before the two of you broke out laughing. As the laughter slowly turned to little giggles, the two of you stared at each other lovingly. Her free hand came out to stroke your cheek while you gazed up at her.

“I like that, though. Matching rings, it’s cute,” you told her. Your voice dropped to a whisper as you asked, “so I take it that means you’ll marry me?”

“Of course I’ll marry you. I’m just mad you beat me to the punch.”

After the two of you exchanged rings and placed the boxes to the side, Babs turned herself to you, took your face in her hands, and pulled your lips to hers.

You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

#barbara gordon x reader #barbara gordon imagine #batgirl x reader #batgirl imagine #mine* #fics* #dc comics

[seapandora]

Sunset

Steve Rogers x Reader, some avengers are mentioned

A/N: In my mind Endgame´s story for Steve never happened. He happily lives with the rest of the avengers all ALIVE (yes Tony I´m looking at you, and I guess Nat is in on it too). This is full of typos probably and I have yet to get grammarly but yeah, enjoy? I tried to write reader as nondescriptive as possible, but I might have messed up somewhere. Feedback is appreciated.

Warnings: 1 swear, fluff, angst, bland tbh

Y/N = Your Name (Doesn’t everyone know this by now?)

Y/N/N = Your NickName

Y/H/C = Your Hair Colour

“I just don’t understand why you can´t give me my surprise now. My birthday was 10 days ago already, and I don’t want to wait any longer.” Steve said with a pout as he glared at Y/N.  They had been away on a mission with Sam and Bucky for the past two weeks and had only made it home the day before, still Y/N had totally seemed to have forgotten that Steve´s 102nd birthday was July 4th.

“Well, if you´ve waited 10 days then I´m sure you can wait another 5 hours” Y/N said and looked at their watch. They were getting annoyed with Steve, he had done nothing but bother them since they had gotten back from the mission. Y/N had planned everything already, down to the minute. They just wished Steve could be patient enough to enjoy dinner with the team. “You will get your presents and attention, I promise, but can you just wait until after sunset?” They asked and sighed.

Steve sighed as well but nodded. He could tell when Y/N started to get annoyed by his neediness. He opted to sit by the counter instead and just watch Y/N work on the dinner. They had taken full control of the celebrations, well the dinner. That was all Steve wanted with the family. Everyone would be there. Sam, Bucky, Tony and Pepper, and of course Morgan. Natasha would be there and so would Clint and his family, even Peter had promised to show up. Wanda and Vision would be a no-show. No-one was surprised. Wanda loved the team but her and Vision had just become parents and now had their little Max to take care off. They didn’t want Steves birthday dinner to be tainted by cries of an infant. Instead they would come over in a few days to congratualate the 102 year old.

His thoughts were interrupted by a furry creature who dropped their toy in front of Steve. It was the compounds dog, well technically he was Steves dog, but everyone in the compound had adopted him so now he was the compound dog. His name was Logan, yes after that Logan. “Whatcha say bud? How ´bout we go play while they make us food, sound like a fir deal after being alone for my birthday?” He asked the furry four-legged creature. “Oh my god Steve, I was on a mission, get over it. You have been away for my birthday so many times I don’t even think you know when it is.” Y/N exclaimed and slammed a spoon in the sink. “I´m sorry I had to save the world for once. And I´m so terribly sorry tonight is the only night in July we can see Jupiter through regular binoculars, and I´m sorry I wanted to make that a special deal to tell you how special you are to me and the others in the compound. But since it´s waaaaay too late to celebrate your birthday we should just cancel all that then.” They continued and tore the apron off themselves before leaving the kitchen midway through cooking. They walked past a frowning Bucky on their way out but didn’t acknowledge him.

“What was that all about?” Bucky asked Steve, who just stood there confused and a little terrified. “That was, using a modern term, me fucking up.” Steve mumbled and walked over to the stove turning it off. “Wow, there, language Cap.” Bucky chuckled. “You bothered them too much didn’t you? Do you have any idea how long they have been planning something like this for you?” He asked and looked at his best, but very stupid, friend. “Y/N talked about it constantly on the mission and were so excited to be home a day early to set it all up. Just go talk to them punk.” Bucky continued. “Okay okay, jerk. Take Logan out to play, alright?” Steve replied and sighed softly as he got himself together to talk to Y/N.

Steve walked out of the kitchen and towards the elevator. He and Y/N had been together for quite some time now and shared a floor. They had separate rooms but Y/N mostly stayed in Steves room. He kept their nightmares away and allowed them to sleep well. However, he had a sneaking suspicion Y/N would be in their own room now seeing as they were quite mad at Steve. The elevator ride was quick and Steve got out on their floor and headed towards Y/Ns door. He knocked before he slowly felt the handle. The door was open, as per their deal. No matter what happened between them they had an open door policy, although it meant something else for them than for the rest of the world. To them it meant that the other one would always be allowed in, whether it was to talk or to apologize. The other person however didn’t need to listen or care, it was just for them both to be able to apologize and talk.

Y/Ns room was spotless. They spent very little time in there. There were a few pictures on the wall, mostly of Y/N with Steve, Bucky or Sam. Steve walked over to the bed and sat down by Y/Ns legs. Their Y/H/C hair covered the pillow and Y/N was looking towards the wall. “I know you´re really mad at and annoyed with me, and I get that. I just want to apologize. It was unfair to you too stress you and push you. I don’t have any excuses. I missed you but that isn´t good enough. I woved to never hurt you and yet I did. I just hope you can forgive me and come watch Jupiter with me tonight. I´d really like the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but I wouldn’t want to do it alone or with anyone else but you.” He whispered. He wanted to touch them badly but he knew his boundaries. He knew Y/N would flinch away if he tried to reach out rght now. They needed to initiate contact after a situation like this, and even if that pained Steve, he respected it.

“All your pushing just made me realize that I´m never going to be enough for you Steve.” Y/N said and sighed as they curled into their pillow. “That’s where youre wrong doll, you´re mre than enough for me. You got me Logan, you make sure I eat, no matter if you´re home or not. You make sure I get my sleep, and you make sure I get time off to do things I like and to catch up with the new 20´s.” He said and frowned. “I wouldn’t be here today if it weren´t for you Y/N.” Steve continued. “Can we please go downstairs and finish up dinner and then I´m all yours for the rest of the evening. I don´t want to end the day without you.” He mumbled and moved over so he was kneeling on the floor besides the bed. Y/N nodded and sat up. They leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Steves lips. “Okay, but you better zip it mister or you´ll sleep on the couch tonight.” They whispered against his lips and smirked. Steve knew he was forgiven for now and he thanked god for it.

Dinner went on without a hitch and before Steve knew it was sunset. He grabbed Y/Ns hand and pulled them towards the elevator. Y/n smiled and followed Steve. They took the elevator to the roof and walked out into the setting sun. Y/N had decorated a small part of the roof with a few blankets and a cooler. Of course they had gotten them some snacks, and beer for Steve. They looked up at the sky and frowned. It was cloudy, it wasn’t supposed to be cloudy. How could they watch Jupiter if it was cloudy? They sighed and shook their head. “I´m sorry Steve, I read the news carefully. It was supposed to be clear tonight.” They mumbled, suddenly ashamed over their idea being messed up by natural weather. “Hey Y/N, we can at least watch the sunset together. Not just tonight, but maybe for the rest of our lives as well.” Steve said and moved behind Y/N to wrap his arms around them. Yeah he could definitely watch the sunset with them forever and ever. Jupiter could wait.

#steve x reader #steve rogers #captain america #fanfic #fanfiction #avengers #avengers x reader #steve rogers x reader #reader insert #steve x y/n #steve x you

[petri808]

Mirror’s of the Soul

Hau’oli la Hanau!  Happy Birthday!  @dark0angel13  Hawaii misses you ;)

Based on the folklore of a “dog-man” in Hawaii called the Kaupe.  Spun to be a werewolf AU lol, but with a twist.  The Kaupe was used in the DC tv show Legends of Tomorrow.  It was pointed out to me that Lucy’s character reminded them of character from Witcher 3 as well lol.

~~~~~ Nalu AU one-shot

Lucy had heard the wild rumors of the dog-man of Nu’uanu Valley, but she chalked it up to Hawaiian folklore.  These islands were full of such supernatural tales, and as a transplanted college student, seemed more like ghost stories intended to keep children from misbehaving.  She hadn’t heard of any actual werewolves confirmed in the last few centuries, and this was probably not a real case.  As far as she was concerned, superstitious hocus-pocus wasn’t going to keep her from hiking in the valley.  It’s lush rainforests, waterfalls, or Pali cliff overlooks were stunning, especially near sunset or sunrise.  A slice of nature surrounded by a growing metropolis.  

While the professor droned on at the front of the lecture hall, one of her closest friends slides into the seat next to her.

“You’re late Natsu,” she whispers, “class started 20 minutes ago.”

“Did I miss much?” the young man retorts.  Lucy shakes her head.  “Then I’m not late at all,” he grins back.

She rolls her eyes but can’t help a chuckle from escaping.  “Got any plans this weekend?”

“Tomorrow yeah,” he shifts in his seat, “but should be free Sunday.”

“How about you take me on a Dave ‘N Busters date Sunday so I can kick your ass at RD again.”

“You’re on!”

The next morning, Lucy awakens to perfect outdoor weather.  Balmy breezes lightly shifting her curtains and blue skies as far as the eye could see.  It seemed her roommate hadn’t made it back to their dorm in the night, probably staying the weekend with her boyfriend off campus.  Lucy sighs, and turns on her bed facing the window, maybe one day she’ll be able to do the same.  Yeah sure, Hell might freeze over before Natsu saw her in that way.  He was the best of friend that any could be, but no matter how many times she threw subtle hints or flirted with him, it all seemed to go right over his head.  Oh well, the times they spent together sufficed, but for now the valley was calling her name.

Not only did she like simply being surrounded by the peace and tranquility the forest could provide, it also served as a perfect, distraction free place to write her stories. Notebook, extra pens, fully charged laptop, trusty outdoor blanket, lunch, and ready to go, she ascends the Lulumahu Falls trail.  It was only a 2-mile hike round trip, but unlike some of the other trails in the area, this one cut through a bamboo grove and wasn’t one of the official paths.  As such, traffic tended to be lighter with fellow hikers opting for the maintained trails instead.

She reaches the end of the line and finds a shady area with large flat boulders to sit on.  Thank goodness for the recent sunny weather.  The trail had been mud-free, humidity was lower, and the air was crisp.  Lucy takes out her laptop, balancing it on her thighs and gets to work, letting the sounds of the forest send her into a rhythm.  Her words flowed forth like the gentle burbling of the nearby stream of the same namesake.  Hands gliding across the keyboard like the chirping birds around her.  Every now and again there was a crackle of a falling branch, or footsteps of a fellow nature seeker, but she paid these no mind, her characters keeping her enthralled.

It was great when ideas came to her so easily.  The infamous writers block plagued her from time to time, but not today, and it wasn’t until the light was growing dim that she realized how long she’d been in the writing zone.  Oh crap!  It may still be warm for fall, but the sun also set quicker in these later months.  She checks the time on her phone and guestimates another hour tops before she needed to get out of there.  Alright, this chapter was almost finished, she could make it!

She didn’t make it.

And by the time she’d stumbled into what she assumed was the Kaniakapupu Ruins, it was dark, cell phone coverage was nil, and it was growing a bit chilly.  Thank goodness for her blanket!  Lucy had two options, keep trying to find her way out through unmarked trails and risk getting more lost, or staying put until morning.  The clear skies were in her favor and the bright harvest moon chased away some of the darkness.  She groans and finds a decent rock to plop onto, guess she’ll just hunker down for the night.  

About a half mile away, deeper into the Nu’uanu valley, something catches the scent of the lone female, but that wasn’t good, for he recognized the scent.  ‘What is she doing here and on this night of all nights?!’  He came here to hide during this phase of the month, an ancient calling against his bloodline to guard the heiau of Kaheiki.  Legend has it, his ancestor had impregnated a human female shortly before being killed by a chief from the island of Hawaii, and to atone for that progenitor’s misdeed’s, a descendant was born as a Kaupe every hundred years or so to guard the heiau of the priest that helped to stop it’s rampage.

A thousand years later, it was Natsu’s bad luck that this curse fell upon his generation and with puberty came the confirmation.  He tried consulting the most knowledgeable kahuna’s and priests he could find in the hopes of breaking the curse, but they all told him the same thing, this was his ancestors atonement and only the gods could see fit to change that.  Yeah, well his family had been punished enough for something they hadn’t even done.  It wasn’t fair in this modern era to keep suffering like this.  All he wanted to do was settle down some day like a normal person, but who would want a freak like him?

Natsu’s worries were confirmed the moment he crept up to the ruins and sees Lucy sitting on a rock all bundled up.  With his keener eye sight, he can see her hiking back pack near her feet and puts two and two together that she must have gotten lost.  He could only imagine how cold she must be with nothing more than a light blanket to stay warm with.  At least his fur helped with that, but it was still another 10 more hours before the sun will rise.  Natsu paces as he weighs his options.  Great, so what should he do?  He couldn’t leave her all alone.  But if he made his presence known it might scare the wits out of her.  

He fails to realize that Lucy is now staring in his direction.  It was strange at first the mixed scent of Natsu and canine.  She couldn’t see him through the darkness but knew he was out there somewhere, but putting the clues together and it wasn’t a total shock.  Lucy groans internally at the irony.  The man had been keeping a secret, though she was no better.

“Natsu,” she lets out an exasperated exhale and stands up.  “You might as well come out I know you’re there.”  

That was impossible!  How could Lucy know that he was there in the first place, and second, he wasn’t some random person!  He hears her sigh.  

“Natsu, I can pick up on your scent, now please just come out.”

With a lot of trepidation, he steps beyond the tree line into the clearing.  “Lucy… but how??”

“Just come closer,” she sits back on her rock, “we both have a lot of explaining to do.”

Okay things were getting a little weird, and considering he was the werewolf, to think this was all really strange was… Weird!  No one outside of his family had ever seen him in this form because he’d done well to stay completely hidden from humans, and even though clearly this woman knew it was him, Natsu was still hesitant to let Lucy see him for what he was.  It was also a bit unnerving how unfazed she seemed to be.  He finds a fallen log about 10 feet away from her and sits down on the edge of it.  If he needed to take off again, it would only take mere seconds to do so.

Lucy adjusts the blanket around her body, then props her head with her hand against her knee.  “I assume you are confused?”  Natsu nods.  “Back home, my family hails from a long line of hunters…. Creature hunters.”  She tips her head, “I remember my mom telling me how my great, great, grandfather immigrated to America to establish a line of Heartfilia’s in the new world.  I think it’s silly and I moved here to get away from it all because I didn’t want to continue the tradition.”  An exasperated sigh escapes her lips.  “How ironic that I run into one so easily.”

“That still doesn’t make sense.  How did you know it was me?”

She taps her nose.  “I can track.  Look I know it seems strange, and it’s not normal for a human to do that so easily.  How do I explain it…  Somewhere in my family line, an ancestor was imbued with a few abilities.  I can’t see in the dark, which is why I’m stuck here, but an enhanced olfactory system allows me to detect scents, especially inhuman ones.”

“And, what do creature hunters do exactly?” his voice filled with an air of hesitancy.

“In the old days, they hunted to kill.”

Natsu tenses up and leans back, “should I leave?”

Lucy just waves her hand, “I came here to Hawaii to get away from that life.  Just wanted to be normal, ya know, but it seems I can’t run away from it either.”  She shivers as a breeze funnels through the clearing.

“Are you cold Lucy?  I’m sorry I don’t have a jacket or anything and I can’t leave the area till morning.”

“Why not?  In fact,” she pats the area next to her, “come closer and tell me your story.  It’s only fair since I shared mine.”

“I--I really don’t like anyone seeing me like this, you’re the first outside of my family to.”

“I’m not gonna hurt you and I don’t care what you look like.  I know you’re still you.”  Natsu shakes his head.  “Suit yourself.”  Lucy stands up, gathers the blanket around her and trudges over.

“Wait, what are you doing!” Natsu scrambles to his feet, tripping, and falling backwards over the log with a thud.

She rushes over to help him up, “Are you okay?!”

He rubs the back of his head, “I’ve got a hard head,” he winces, “more my pride that got hurt.”

Lucy chuckles, “see,” she pulls him to his feet, “should’a just stayed still.”

After getting him to come back to the rock with her, Lucy pulls her feet into a cross-legged position. “Alright, now spill.”

With a deep exhale, Natsu lets the words flow.  Everything he knows about his family, the curse, and what it’s like to be a Kaupe….  

All the while Lucy sits quietly not wanting to interrupt him.  She’d heard other tales of werewolves, old legends and such, including the idea of a curse causing the transformation.  Though this was the first time she’d heard of a curse carrying on through a bloodline before.  Guess, there is a first time for everything.  The tale he told was heartrending.  Their family’s ancestor may have been cursed because of a cold-blooded killer nature, but the man sitting next to her was nothing like that.  Natsu would give you the shirt off his back if you were in need and he always made her feel safe, especially at night.  If only there was a way to break the curse.    

Having determined for herself what kind of soul lay behind his Olivine hues, the longer she stared at him, it occurred to her that Natsu… wasn’t that bad looking in this condition.  Hawaii didn’t have wolves so did that make him more of a Weredog?  Not that she truly knew what a werewolf or weredog was supposed to look like since old tales differed on appearance.  Some depicted them as more human with canine features, others as more canine-like and barely human anymore.  Almost all of the stories described large fangs and claws dripping with blood, no ability to discern right from wrong or with any human consciousness left.  Boy were they wrong in this case!  Natsu was fully aware of himself and more scared than she was.  

His human fangs did look a bit longer than normal, his eyes still green but more canine-esque, with claws on his fingers and toes.  Tufts of fur covered the parts of his body that she could see, but he wore a t-shirt and baggy pants, so it wasn’t much.  A tail was definitely coming out of his lower back with pointy ears growing through his pink head hair.  Lucy tips her head, those ears were really cute!  She wondered what he would do if she rubbed them…

“Ahem.  Are you even paying attention anymore?!”

“Huh?”  Lucy shakes her head.  “Sorry,” her face flushes and she’s glad it’s too dark to see it.  “Curiosity and all.”

“I can’t let you touch them, so don’t even think about it.”

“Touch what?”

Natsu rolls his eyes, “my ears that you’ve been staring at for a solid 5 minutes.”

“Oh, why not,” she pouts.

“Because they are sensitive.”  Okay that was a semi-lie.  They were sensitive but rubbing them made him feel good in a provocative manner.  “So, as I was saying, we have no idea how to break the curse, no one in the family ever knows who in the next generations will become the next one, but it usually happens when the current Kaupe is close to death.”

“Is this why you’ve never tried to make a move on me?”

Well that was blunt!  “Um, I guess, yeah…” he scratches his head, “wh-what makes you think I would have?”

Lucy shrugs her shoulders a little sad by his response, “wishful thinking, I guess.  Anyways, don’t worry, your secret is safe with me Natsu.”

“Y-you know Lucy,” he averts his eyes to the ground, “if I had… asked… what would you have answered?”

“Yes,” she turns his chin back and smiles, “I do like you, if that wasn’t already obvious.”  Chuckling, “I just figured you only saw me as a friend.”

He takes a leap, “what about now, even after knowing this about me?”

“Hmm,” Lucy leans against him, resting her head on his furry shoulder, “the huntress and the werewolf,” she chuckles, “it sounds like a movie plot, but,” she looks up and smiles, “yeah, I’d still like to be your leading lady.”

#nalu #birthday fic #Natsu Dragneel #Lucy heartfilia #nalu au #nalu fan fic #fairytail #au story #werewolves #Hawaiian lore

[liilgoobs]

Think Twice (tua/spn crossover) Pt. 1/??

A/N: This is most definitely going to be a series, but I honestly have no clue where I’m going with this. I just wanted to make it happen. Hope you guys enjoy, I’ll update as much as I can :)

Warnings: language

Pairing: (idfk yet we’ll figure it out but this is for sure an x reader)

The world as we know it is filled with monsters. Angels, Demons, and all of the horrible things in-between. The Winchesters were raised to fight them. Save people, hunt things, the family business. John Winchester was the one to save number eight. She was the fraternal twin to Vanya Hargreeves, the two of them being anything but special.

It was a Tuesday when Number Eight left her life at the academy behind. 

“It’s time to get up, Number Eight!” Grace chirped as she entered the bedroom, pulling the curtains open to let light pool in. 

She opened her eyes slowly to meet a dull, gray ceiling.“Thank you, Grace.” 

Sitting up as the blonde leaves the room, her eyes squint to adjust to the brightness. She glances at the clock beside her which read 8:30 AM. A sigh escaping her lips she swings her legs over the bed, standing up. 

It was the same routine everyday for her. Wake up at 8:30, breakfast, school, watch the other siblings train, eat dinner, go to bed. With an occasional mission here and there. 

She was sick of it. She was desperate for change.

Throwing on her uniform and glasses, Number Eight makes her way downstairs to see her siblings already seated at the table.

“Number Eight,” Reginald’s voice booms through the kitchen. “You’re late.”

She shrugs. “Sorry.” She mumbles, sitting across from Five. She meets his eyes, which faintly have concern glazed over them.

Eight avoids his stare, picking at her eggs. Five was her best friend, being able to immediately pick up when she wasn’t feeling 100 percent. 

“Children,” Reginald says, standing up at the table. “You all have a mission today, and we are leaving in exactly 15 minutes. Please prepare as you need. You are all dismissed.” 

All the siblings get up to leave, but Number Eight stays in place staring at her plate with a blank look. 

Five goes to leave, but stops himself at the doorway. He turns around and sees her sitting there in silence. “Eight?”

She pushes her plate away, looking up at Five. “Yeah?”

“You coming?” He asks, walking over to her slowly. She shakes her head.

“Y-Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking,” She mumbles, quickly standing up to walk with Five.

“Thinking about what?” He asks as they stroll over to the staircase. 

The teenage girl hesitates, finally looking up to meet his eyes.

She always loved the color of them, it was like staring into a never-ending ocean.

“I just,” She sighs as they approach her door. “I’m tired of this. This everyday routine. There is nothing special about me. I don’t have powers. This is basically a damn boarding school. Why am I even here?” 

Five nods in agreement. “I wouldn’t say you aren’t special, you’re extremely intelligent.”

Eight’s cheeks flush slightly. She was very smart, and helped all of her siblings with homework. She could even teach Grace a thing or two, if she really tried.

“But I am tired of him holding us back. Holding me back. I’ve been working on my spatial jumps. I’m sure as hell ready to time travel.” 

Eight leans against the doorframe, “But Five, we’ve been over the risks of what could happen. You and I both know you’re more than ready ability wise, but knowledge wise we have no clue on where it could take you or what it could do to you,”

Five scoffs. “Should’ve expected that from you. I thought you believed in me,” 

Eight straightens her posture, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Of course I believe in you, I just don't want to loose you because we didn’t do enough research..” She defends. 

“We have spent night after night researching, Eight. What more do you want?You’re just jealous I have the ability to do things you can’t. You and Vanya are jealous of us. All you two do is shove your nose in a book and think that’s enough.” He spits, his temper getting the best of him once again.

His words sink into Eight’s skin, tears starting to well up in her eyes.

Hearing such hurtful words come out of his mouth was a stab to the chest.

Five sees the hurt spread across her face, instantly regretting his words. 

“Eight..I-” He starts to say but she cuts him off, tears brimming her eyes.

“Save it.” Her voice was low and quiet. “I don’t want to hear another word.”

She walks into her room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Five sighs, staring at the wooden door with a metal eight on it. He walks away, already planning on how to apologize to her later when she’s cooled off. But for now, he needs to focus on this mission.

The car ride was silent, until Reginald breaks it with the rundown of the mission.

“There are 10 burglars in this bank. You are to eliminate them and save the hostages. You are to use the strategies and skills we trained for. No funny business.”

Klaus chuckles, earning him a hard glare in return. 

As all the children listen intently, Eight stares out the window and tunes her ‘fathers’ voice out. 

Her mind wanders, wondering what her life would be if she lived with a normal set of parents and siblings.

Maybe she’d live in a cute little house. And have a dog. Maybe even have a name, not a number. 

What she wished for most, is a family who actually loved and cared for her. She’d give anything for that. 

As the car stops, the kids pile out while securing the masks on their face. Five and Eight make eye contact, but she breaks it as soon as they connect eyes.

The 6 kids take off into the building, as Vanya and Eight stay by Reginald’s side.

“Rough morning?” Her sister asks, making Eight shrug.

“I suppose you could say that.”

Their father tunes them out when it comes to missions, so they carry on having a quiet conversation.

“Your violin sounded nice yesterday. You'e improving. You know I read-”

“Cut it out, Eight. I heard yours and Five’s argument before we left. I can tell you’re upset,” She presses, making her sister go silent. “I am your twin, you know.”

Eight didn’t know how to respond. She played with the hem of her coat anxiously. 

“I’m tired of people thinking we aren’t special, just because we’re not like the others. You’re musically inclined. I study my ass off,” She whispers, just so Vanya could hear. “We’re just as important as them.”

Vanya nods in agreement. That was something they bonded over constantly. 

Their attention is shifted when two of the robbers are tossed out of the bank, landing on the steps painfully.

“That looked like it hurt,” Eight giggles lightly, making her sister chuckle. “Leave it to Luther to literally throw someone out of a building.”

“Come on Number Seven, Number Eight. Reporters are here. You both know what I expect of you.” He orders, not glancing once in the twins’ direction.

They share a look with each other before walking to the car to wait for everyone.

The duo stood by the car for about ten minutes, watching their siblings get their pictures taken.

Eight admires Five’s shit-eating grin and it makes the corners of her mouth turn up. But it’s gone as soon as it’s arrived, his painful words flooding back into her brain.

Her attention is shifted when she sees a tall, rugged backed creature sprint into a nearby alleyway. Eight glances at her sister, who wasn’t paying attention. 

“Did you just see that?” Eight asks, making Vanya look over.

“See what?” She asks in confusion, glancing over in the alleyway. 

“It was this huge, slimy thing. It looked so cool! We have to follow it!” She exclaims, tugging her sisters hand. Vanya quickly pulls away.

“We can’t! Father said we have to stay here,” Eight scoffs.

“Oh come on Vanya! This is our chance to make something interesting happen in our lives! What could go wrong?” She pleads, Vanya still shaking her head.

“We could get hurt or get in trouble! We can’t just go running off!” She denies, looking quickly back over to where the rest of the siblings were.

Eight rolls her eyes. “Whatever, suit yourself. I’m going to go check it out. I need something exciting to happen in my life.”

Vanya’s eyes widen as Eight takes off running towards the alleyway. “Eight!” She calls out half heartedly, starting to panic. 

5 minutes go by, and she still hasn’t returned. 5 minutes turn into 10, and 10 turn into 15.

Vanya debates on going to look for her, until Reginald is by her side as the kids pile into the car.

“Number seven, where is number Eight?” He asks firmly, making Five stop in his tracks.

“I-I,” Vanya stutters, anxiety building in her chest.

“Spit it out, child!” He orders, growing more impatient.

Five’s heartbeat starts to rise out of worry. Where was Eight?

“S-She saw something in the alleyway and r-ran off towards it about 20 minutes a-ago,” She stutters, making him grunt in anger.

Five’s heart drops, as the kids stare at him in confusion.

“Get in the car, Number Seven.” He says with anger clear in his voice.

“What about-” Five protests but he cuts him off.

“I SAID GET IN THE CAR. If she wants to run away, so be it. Not like her presence made a difference in our lives, anyways.” He roars, climbing into the passenger seat. The kids exchange sad and confused looks, as they drive away.

Where is Number Eight?

#fanfic #tua #spn #crossover #tua imagines #spn imagine #five hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #oc #writing #requests open #x reader #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #series

[bestfluteninja]

actual things my teachers have said, pt. 2

part 1 here

so, in honor of school about to start again, here’s my teacher quotes from second semester last year, my freshman year of high school. enjoy.

“Day one and you’re already undressing”

“I went to college for this”

“I’ve taught one person something today”

“He looks so loose and relaxed because he’s dead”

“There was this one pope who was a total prude”

“It’s called the Great Deflowering, and they just took all the penises off the statues”

“One student said, ‘do you think there’s this basket of stone penises in the Vatican?’”

“Oh, it’s like ‘pièce’ means ‘piece’ or something”

“Do you sleep in the salle à manger (dining room)? Only if you have a very sad life”

“I don’t know why I suddenly know your restroom schedule”

“I want to get up on a ladder and touch your hair. Still sounds weird”

“And then you have Columbus or Vasco de Gama’s little ship, which looks like it’s going to be eaten by the big ship”

“Let’s go metric, which we’re crazy for not using”

“When I pass on to whatever”

“You tempt my middle finger”

“Stop talking about my coworkers in a negative way. Or positive. Just stop.”

“I almost said a word I shouldn’t”

“Nachos aren’t happening without cheese”

“We are about to learn a new tense, which will shake the foundations of everything you know and love”

“Let’s make this nice and incriminating”

“Next year I’ll have to require students to get a tattoo of their password”

“Anybody else wanna criticize my decisions?”

“Hey. Hey! HEY!...have a good day”

“After announcements, I’m going to melt your faces off, so be ready”

“It’s magic time, kids”

“I have mad babysitting skills”

“You don’t go to all this effort if you have wheat just growing in your backyard”

“The Catholic Church was into destruction”

“You really don’t wanna write it down because then you’ll cry”

“Anyone wanna help me summon the dead?”

“My mother still tells me I should’ve been a lawyer”

“Rooms and stuff, oh yeah”

“That way, when he’s an old man, people can go ‘you’re old’ and he’ll be like ‘whaaa’“

“If you’re sitting there just tapping really hard, I don’t know what your aggression is”

“I wish I had autopilot”

“I won’t make you cry”

“There were some that considered that blasphemous. Heracy. Scientific heracy.”

“The access code is cookies18 because I’m surrounded by cookies and it’s 2018″

“Thumbs down is like ‘bro why’“

“Are you having fun in art class? Stop that”

“You all think you’re gang members now”

“Something French, woman! Get it together”

“We can be like Congress and have to have a talking stick”

“Here’s a dog with three stereotypes all at once”

“I am as serious as a heart attack”

“You don’t see many of those furry little creatures around here anymore. Except raccoons. They’re everywhere”

“It’s not politics if everyone agrees”

student: “I like your shoes” teacher: “thanks, they’re killing my feet”

“Focus less on witty comments”

“If we could just hang out, I’d, like, braid your hair”

“This guy with a stick, that can’t be good”

“Spent a little too much time in the harem, if you get my meaning”

“I really do try to find anything with singing and dancing camels”

“Another creepy clown, fantastic”

“Are those flower garlands, or are they chains?”

“Oh, how progressive, that you add Hindu women to your harem”

“Probably for the release death would bring”

“Easy with the f-bomb”

“I’m gonna go ahead and mark everyone absent just because I like to mess with the front office”

“That was a pretty good airplane”

“I got too deep in a book and forgot to make your test”

“This is for your cultural education” *shows Shia LaBoef*

“You don’t know why, but you know you hate them”

“This is a holdup, pow pow pow, give me all your money”

“Screaming is the same in every language”

“Satan scares me”

“I have nothing against turtlenecks, usually”

“420, blaze it. I shouldn’t have said that, it was inappropriate”

“If you don’t know basic computer skills, you’re just doomed”

“Attacked by many animals...I can just see him walking down the street going ‘oh god not again’“

“She’s preening you”

“We don’t do midterms in here cause they’re awful”

“I love praise”

“Everything is petit pois”

“Nobody can get through the French Revolution in a day and a half except me”

“Back when the History Channel had history”

“Everyone is like ‘oh I’m so nostalgic for the nineties’ and I’m like ‘burn it with fire’“

“Feel free to email me, I won’t respond”

“Don’t hurt each other”

“She looks like a jellyfish. No! That’s so cool! I love jellyfish!”

“I felt like lying on the floor and curling up in a ball”

“Laugh. Move on.”

“Your fort should be strong, to keep the Huns from invading”

“Why are you so smart right now?”

“I have all of her anxiety and none of her skill”

“Whatever will make my parents angriest”

“What’s happening, you animals?”

“Just fractions, nothing magical”

student: *drops ruler* teacher, deadpan: “why”

“Sooner or later that bell will ring and you’ll be like ‘yo what the heck’”

“Anytime there’s chanting, just be careful”

“There’s no mentions of prostitutes in the Jamaica letter”

“I like fire, so I might burn it”

“These are in your way just to distract you”

“Don’t build your expectations up too high”

“Oh, I had alcohol”

“I want to leave with both my kidneys, thanks”

“If you would take a town out of Alabama and put it here, that’s Fortville” (we live in Indiana)

“I’m gonna start dressing like a clown to get your guys’ attention”

“Everybody needs extra money in life”

“I don’t know if you guys know this, but an essential part of living is being able to breathe”

“I’m a popcorn-aholic”

“We’re gonna do an exercise in loving yourself real quick”

“I barely even go outside”

“It’ll be terrible. You’re gonna have nightmares”

“It is a vest with fake pockets and a cape attached”

“There are very few people who are not gifted in anything”

“Please let me retire”

“If the lottery plays out on Wednesday, I might be gone by Thursday”

“Then we burnish it with a wooden spoon because I’m too cheap to buy burnishers and a wooden spoon works”

“Be mindful of when you’re leaning up against cabinets. Or get shoved into them”

“I like to touch art. Not supposed to, but I like to”

“If you go to Canada, I need you to steal a stop sign”

“I always get excited but it’s always just you, being fantastic”

(a blade from our art project went missing) “I think there are three scenarios. One, someone dropped it and just refuses to acknowledge that they dropped something. Two, someone put it in their pocket to take it home and have..fun with it later. Three, someone.....ingested it”

“You don’t steal the blades during the demonstration. You steal them during class time, when nobody’s looking”

“God, it’s snowing again”

“Can you grow poppies? Yes. If you grow 10-20 acres, the authorities are probably gonna come talk to you”

“If you had the letters for that in scrabble, that’s the whole game right there”

“Oh, Gandhi, you’re name-dropping”

“Isn’t that dog staring into your soul?”

“I’m just impressed with anyone that can wear horizontal stripes”

“It won’t be fatal drowning”

“You can have the rest of the time to annoy each other”

“We’ll cover up the ‘attack teacher’ sign so you’re not scared of me anymore”

*chalk squeaks* “sorry, forgot to oil the chalk”

“I don’t wake up in the mornings and go ‘oh, themes’“

“I am not Harry Potter’s uncle”

“If I cared, I would’ve asked”

“That’s where the Bordeaux wine comes from. Not that you’d know that, right, kids?”

“They don’t care about your happiness”

“Kay cool do stuff”

“No, I will not allow that. You cannot just eat butter”

“If I were to buy a Japanese car and drive it into my mother’s driveway, that would probably be it. She’d go toward the light”

“Since that’s all so depressing, we’ll end with a taco dog”

“I am intellectually aware that there were days when the sun came out”

“I have to get paid for this”

“I just have under a thousand dollars in my bank account at all times”

“We are French two, we are a little better than second-grade writing level”

“If you have to ask me if it’s appropriate, it’s not”

“It’s plagiarism, 100%. Don’t even care”

“For God’s sake, people, indent your paragraphs”

“It’s Morgan Freeman and Matt Damion, what else do you need”

student: “banana” teacher: “good, jenna”

*sharp intake of breath*

“Join us on the dark side of Honors English”

*shows us stick figure* “look at this detail”

“Well, that’s just magical.” minute later: “never mind”

“I’ll try to come up with a Plan D”

“In India, they love cricket, whatever the heck cricket is”

“Before I buy Shrek 2 online”

“Next thing you throw, you’re gonna eat”

“Have I mentioned your guys’ grand prize? It’s absolutely nothing”

“Nowadays you just take a selfie. This is for you. Wink wink.”

“Hey guys, say bonjour to my mom”

“She says sit down and shut up”

“He’s my scapegoat, his mom said I could”

if you read all of these, i hope you were amused. i certainly was. all of these are completely real. if you feel like it, send me an ask with your favorites

#this took so long to type up #school #public school #mine #teacher quotes #funny #humor #if u reblog this youre the true mvp

[artificialqueens]

The Breakup (Biadore) - Whiskey Neat

A/N: Surprise, surprise, Adore is sad again! Just a note that as the writer I refer to them as Roy and Adore but they mostly refer to each other as Bianca and Danny in the story. I hope that makes sense. Also, Kristian is Adore’s ex in real life for anyone who doesn’t know. Enjoy!

Roy was having a great night. He went out to eat at a nice restaurant, spent some time with friends, and even went to a drag show. He always thought the shows were a lot more enjoyable when he had the night off. Now, he was at his friend John’s apartment feeling happy and content, finishing a movie they had started watching a few days before but never finished. 

Adore’s night on the other hand, hadn’t gone anything like that. She had gotten in drag for a date with her boyfriend Kristian and they ended up not even going out like they had planned. He declined Adore’s invite to meet at her apartment, insisting they just stay in his hotel room because they “needed to talk.” When she heard that, Adore knew something was up and anxiety grew in the pit of her stomach the closer to his hotel room she got. 

Knocking on the door, she heard rustling from inside the room. Kristian soon opened the door and gave Adore a sad smile. “Hey”

“What’s going on?” Adore asked, as her boyfriend took her hand and gently pulled her into the room. 

He sat her down on the bed and sat himself down next to her. “We need to talk…" 

“About?” Adore asked, mentally preparing herself for the worst. 

“Us." 

Even though that’s what she was expecting to hear, the one word answer made Adore’s eyes burn and her heart drop into her stomach. 

”….Okay….what about us?“ She asked wearily. 

"I don’t know how to tell you this in a way that won’t hurt so I’m just gonna say it…I don’t think I’m in love with you anymore.” Kristian told her, not being able to meet her eyes after he said it. 

“I-I…okay…” Adore trailed off, looking down and blinking back tears. “Is there something I did wrong or-" 

He grabbed her hands "No, no, no! It wasn’t anything you did. I promise. I just kind of…lost feelings. Being away from you so much really affected me. It sucks that I live in Australia and you live here in LA. We don’t see each other often enough and it’s hard for me to keep feelings strong in situations like this. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us to stay in this relationship if the feelings aren’t the same." 

"How long have you felt like this?” Adore asked, not even sure if she wanted to know the answer. 

“A month, maybe. It’s hard not being around you a lot and getting to experience things with you like I should. The separation is just too much. You deserve someone that can be here and love you like you want them to and I can’t be that person anymore. So I just think it’s best if we stop seeing each other. I want you to be happy, Adore." 

"Kris, I can fly you out here more or-or I can fly there or we could-” Adore rambled. 

“Adore” Kristian said grabbing her by the shoulders to shut her up, “I’m sorry…I just don’t feel the same about you as I used to.”

Adore was silent for a moment before standing up and wiping her cheeks. “Okay…if that’s how you really feel then I guess I should go." 

Kristian got up and followed her to the door. "I’m sorry Adore, I wish things were different" 

She stepped out into the hallway and turned to face him. "Yeah, me too.” She said, hating how badly her voice shook. 

Kristian stood in the doorway for a few moments before closing the door. Before it closed all the way he heard Adore say “I was happy with you." 

He took one last glance at her and closed the door the rest of the way, signaling that he didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. That caused Adore’s already fragile heart to shatter into pieces. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t just have a mental breakdown in the hotel hallway in full drag. Adore pulled out her phone and ordered a Lyft to take her to the see the one person she knew could help her put her heart back together. 

Adore arrived outside of Roy’s apartment 20 minutes later, knocking a few times and waiting. She heard Sammy and Dede barking excitedly on the other side of the door but no one seemed to be answering. Great, she thought. Roy isn’t even home. 

The lump in her throat grew and she could feel her breakdown coming closer by the minute. She knew where Roy kept the spare key, so this technically would be a situation where she had the right to let herself in, wouldn’t it? At this point she didn’t even care. Adore dug around in the potted plant next to the door until her fingertips touched the small metal key. 

Squeezing it in her palm, she stood back up, unlocked the door, and stepped inside the dark apartment. The dogs greeted her excitedly but not even that could lift Adore’s spirits. Not even bothering to say hi to the adorable little creatures, she headed straight to the couch and curled up in fetal position, finally letting herself cry and cry. 

Before she knew it, the two small dogs had joined her on the couch. Sammy cuddled up under her arm while Dede climbed right on top of her and began licking the salty tears off her cheeks, the pure innocence of the gesture making her cry even more. It was like they understood she was upset, and for that Adore was grateful. At least this way she didn’t have to be completely alone while Roy was out. Animals always had a special way of calming her anyway. 

Eventually Dede stopped licking Adore’s face and laid down behind her, nuzzling herself into the long black wig Adore hadn’t bothered to take off, and rested her head on the side of Adore’s face. Adore didn’t mind, accepting any form of comfort she could possibly get as she cried herself to sleep. 

About an hour later Roy had finally left John’s place and was back at his apartment. He walked in the door and was greeted with silence. ”That’s strange” Roy thought. His dogs always came running to greet him, barking loudly. He set his keys down, turned the light on, and crept down the hall.

From the dim light in the hallway shining into the room, Roy could see his beloved dogs laying on the couch, cuddling the form of a person. Not knowing who the person was at first, Roy panicked a little. But he figured he must know them because no robber would break in just to take a nap with his dogs…would they?

Tiptoeing closer, Roy was able to see a tattooed arm that he quickly realized belonged to Adore. Roy sighed in relief as he closed the distance between himself and the sleeping queen, wondering why Adore would break into his apartment at 1 in the morning. 

Roy wanted to be mad at her, but once he brushed Adore’s hair off her face he was able to see the dried tears and mascara stains that resided there. “Oh no baby, what happened to you?” He asked even though Adore wasn’t awake to answer.  

Adore shivered in her sleep so Roy left her side to go get a blanket from his bedroom. When he came back, Adore still appeared to be asleep. Roy draped the blanket over her and stepped back, patting his legs and saying to the dogs, “come on, let’s let her sleep” but they didn’t budge. Sammy stayed still and Dede looked up, whined quietly, and burrowed her head back into Adore’s hair. 

“Suit yourselves” Roy shrugged. 

Just as Roy turned to leave the room, he heard a voice say “he doesn’t love me anymore” so quietly he was almost sure he imagined it. 

“What?” He asked, turning back around. 

“He doesn’t love me anymore” Adore repeated, voice cracking this time. 

Roy rushed over to her and Adore sat up, being careful to not disturb the half-asleep dogs too much as she did so.  

“Who doesn’t love you, Adore?” Roy asked, sitting down and letting Adore rest her head in his lap. 

“Kristian…h-he broke up with me because he stopped…he stopped being in love with me” Adore said, taking a shaky breath. 

“Adore, I’m so sorry” Roy said, stroking her hair.

Adore rolled onto her back and looked up at Roy “He. Stopped. Loving. Me. Bianca.” She repeated for the fourth time, as if she was trying to make herself believe it even more than Roy. 

“I know baby, I’m sorry” was all Roy could say before it suddenly fully clicked in Adore’s brain that her relationship was actually over. It was all true. Kristian didn’t love her. He didn’t want her. No one wanted her. 

Adore’s face screwed up and she rolled onto her side so she could hide her face in the bottom part of Roy’s shirt. 

Roy pulled the top half of Adore’s body up so he could embrace her properly. Adore then buried her head in Roy’s neck so close that he could feel her eyelashes brushing against his skin when she blinked. 

“Shhhh, it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay, shhhh” he said as he kept rubbing her back and whispering more words of comfort in her ear while she continued to cry.  

Eventually her sobs died down and she just sniffled once in a while. “You’re okay” Roy said, as Adore inhaled deeply and pulled back, wiping underneath her eyes with her shirt sleeve. 

“I really thought he was the one.” Adore said in a hoarse voice as she fell back into Roy’s chest. “I never knew what being in an actual relationship felt like until I met him. I thought he was the person I’d spend the rest of my life with but now he doesn’t even want me, Bianca. I think I’m unlovable.”  

“You’re not unlovable.” Roy said firmly. 

“Then why does this always happen to me?! People only pretend to love me because they wanna fuck me and after that happens they leave. And even if someone really does love me, it doesn’t last. They always seem to lose feelings and just drop me like I’m nothing!” Adore ranted, eyes welling up again. “I just want someone to love me.”

That last sentence broke her heart all over again and she dissolved into tears for what felt like the hundredth time that night. 

“Adore…Danny look at me.” Roy said, pushing the crying queen off of him and holding her face in his hands so she’d look him in the eye. 

“You are not unlovable, Danny. People treating you like that just goes to show that they don’t deserve you. You’ll find the right person someday and it’ll be the best feeling in the world. I know you will. Someone will love you the way you want them to and treat you right….someone like me.” Roy told her, not even realizing he said the last part until it was too late. 

Adore sniffled. “I’m sorry I can’t believe you, I just don’t think that’s pos-…wait what?“ 

Roy’s cheeks burned with a mix of embarrassment and fear. "What?" 

"Th-the last part…what did you say?” Adore asked, looking confused. 

“I said you’ll find someone to love you and treat you right…” Bianca hesitated. 

“No not that…theLAST part, B. What did you say?” Adore pressed on, staring into Roy’s brown eyes with her big, shiny green ones. 

“I said you’ll find someone to love you and treat you right” he repeated before quietly adding, “someone like me." 

Adore’s mouth dropped open and she quickly sat up and knelt next to Roy and stared at him while Roy looked away, unable to handle the fact that Adore was probably going to slap him across the face and walk out of his life forever. 

"I- you- what?” Adore stuttered, mouth still hanging open.  

Roy reached up and closed it for her before saying, “You heard me." 

"You…you love me? Like really love me? Like more than just the friend kind?” Adore asked in disbelief. 

“There you go, now you’re getting it.” Roy said sarcastically, tapping Adore’s forehead with his pointer finger a few times to jokingly signal that she was a little slow. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?!" 

"I was afraid. I didn’t think you would ever feel the same way because you’re so young and I’m so…not. I’ve loved you since we met on Drag Race. I know I can, and do, love you the way you want someone to and I know I can treat you right and always be there for you if you’ll let me.” Bianca told her. “And even if you don’t feel the same, that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being here for you. I’ll always have your back whether we’re just friends or more than friends." 

"You’re not lying just to make me feel better?” Adore questioned, still not believing that Roy was capable of feeling this way towards her. 

“You know I’d never lie to you, Danny.” He replied. 

Adore’s chin trembled and she wrapped her arms around Roy and buried her face back in his neck. Roy hugged her in return and could soon feel more of Adore’s tears dripping onto his chest. 

“Hey, wait! That wasn’t supposed to make you cry!” Roy exclaimed. 

“I know, I’m sorry. Crying is kinda my natural reaction to everything if you haven’t realized.” She gave a half-hearted laugh. “It’s just a lot to take in…I don’t know what to say” Adore said, wiping her tears again.

“It’s okay, I don’t want you to say anything until this breakup thing blows over and you can think clearly. I just wanted you to know right now that it’s not impossible for someone to love you like that." 

"Thanks B, that means a lot to me.” Adore said as she and Roy made themselves comfortable and the two dogs, who had retreated to the other end of the couch, joined them again and they all fell asleep. 

The next morning Adore woke up alone on the couch. She could hear Roy making breakfast and talking to his dogs in the kitchen.

Instead of going straight to the kitchen, she first headed to the bathroom to wash off all the remnants of Adore that were still on her face and become Danny again. 

After he removed his makeup and threw his now tangled wig on Roy’s bed, he stole a t-shirt and sweatpants from Roy’s closet and put them on. Then the fresh-faced and comfortably dressed Danny made his way to the kitchen. 

“Morning sleeping beauty” Roy said as Danny walked into the room. 

Danny didn’t say anything. Instead, he walked straight over to Roy and pressed their lips together. Roy squeaked in surprise but gently brought a hand up to Danny’s jaw and continued the kiss. 

It was a long kiss. Roy savored the feeling of having Danny’s plump lips against his own but soon realized that they shouldn’t be doing this right now. Danny literally just got out of a relationship yesterday. 

“Danny, we shouldn’t do this yet” Roy told him, breaking the kiss. “It’s too soon." 

"No, I made up my mind. I want to be with you, Bianca.” Danny said. “I’m gonna to let you love me how you want to and I’m gonna love you even more in return." 

"Are you sure? It’s only been one night, Danny. I want you to be su-" 

Danny cut him off with another kiss. "Was I sure when I promised my fans I was coming back to YouTube?”  

“Dan…you never did that" 

Danny bit his lip. "Oh fuck, you’re right…sorry I’m not good at analogies”  

“I’m surprised you even know what that word means” Roy said, as he rolled his eyes. 

“Fuck off! Now listen, I mean it Bianca. I’m 100% sure about this, okay? I’m ready to try having a relationship with you if you are.” Danny said seriously. 

“Can’t say no to that!” Roy grinned as he pulled Danny in for yet another kiss. 

#biadore #whiskey neat #angst #hurt/comfort #adore delano #bianca del rio #rpdr fanfiction #submission #canon compliant

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Frat Boy: Two Years Timestamp

Summary: Dean has a surprise for reader as they start to think of life after grad school...

Frat Boy Masterlist

Pairing: AU student!Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,700ish

Warnings: language, implied smut

A/N: Takes place approximately two years after Part 20 of Frat Boy...

“Dean,” you mumbled, shoving on his arm. He grumbled and tightened his hold on you. “Dean! You have to let me out of this bed!”

“Uh, no I don't,” murmured Dean, smiling against the back of your neck. “Morning, sweetheart.”

“Frat boy, I have class in an hour,” you said, knowing well enough that you weren’t leaving unless he let you. “If I don't get in the shower in the next five minutes-”

“You have to turn in your midterm project, sweetheart, no need to get all dressed up. You can throw on a pair of sweats and my shirt and we get to stay in bed another half hour,” he said, nuzzling the back of your head. “I’ll stay right here while you’re gone and then you can just come to back to bed.”

“Did you honestly forget you have your-”

“Oh shit,” said Dean, scrambling up and out of bed, rushing over to the closet and picking through his clothes, spinning around like a madman. “Fuck, I already had to cancel once because of class. He's going to be pissed at me if I do it again.”

“First off, it's Sam. Second, why don't you tell me what you two are up to?” you asked. Dean smiled but shook his head, pulling on yesterday’s jeans, fumbling with his belt. “You know you aren't allowed to do wedding stuff without me.”

“It's not wedding stuff. Just...stuff. A surprise. You love surprises from me,” he said, grabbing a shirt from the floor, quickly dropping it when he remembered he’d cleaned up last night using that. “Washcloth. Next time washcloth.”

“Your surprises are typically not things I would want Sammy around for,” you said, stretching as you got out of the warm bed and padded over to the closet. Dean nodded but kept his mouth shut, silently teased you with a smug grin. “You know what would be a good surprise? A dog.”

“No! We barely can handle planning a wedding. We eat takeout half the week. A living creature is not something we are capable of caring for,” he said. You scoffed and he crossed his arms. “Do you remember the goldfish?”

“You mean the goldfish you won at the carnival and was half dead by the time we got home? That one?” you asked, Dean pursing his lips.

“We aren't getting a dog,” he said. You pouted and he rolled his eyes. “When we get an actual house-”

“This is a house,” you said with a big grin.

“This is a tiny ass one bedroom house that barely fits all our stuff. Not to mention it doesn't even have a driveway for Baby,” he said, resting his hands on your hips. “We haven’t even decided where we want to live yet.”

“Well Sam accepted that job near your parents place after he graduates and Bobby wants to hand over the business to you, which you’d be perfect for, and I will find something around there. I want live near where you grew up Dean,” you said. Dean shook his head and you sighed.

“You’re getting your masters for a reason, Y/N. You didn’t spend all that money and work that hard to work at Starbucks,” he said, resting his forehead on yours. “Where ever you get a job, we’ll go.”

“I want to be near my family,” you said, moving his hands off you, tired of having this conversation over and over with him. “I got to shower.”

You heard him come in once he heard the curtain shut and the water come on, quietly brushing his teeth and probably grabbing your brush to fix his hair.

“Are we having a fight?” he asked. You tilted your head back and got a face full of water, cursing under your breath as you wiped it away.

“No, Dean,” you said softly, poking your head out, Dean’s concern about being late for Sam replaced with his guilty face. “I just…”

“I bookmarked a few jobs I saw last night near here at a research place. You’d make a lot, even starting out. But it’s far from home so I didn’t bring it up but...it’s your life, your decision,” he said. He put on a smile when you frowned.

“It’s our life,” you said, his face softening. “Dean, we could live in a cardboard box and I wouldn’t care. Money is important but it’s not the purpose of living. You, my family, that’s what I want, baby. We have to sleep in your childhood bedroom, I got to work at Bobby’s...alright then. I’m game. I want to go home. If you don’t, that’s okay and we’ll figure out where to go but I love you way more than I ever will some job, even a dream one.”

“I did a dumb again,” he said, running his hand on the back of his neck. He shrugged and grinned.

“No, no dumbo here,” you said. “A caring dork? Yes, for sure. No dumb though.”

“You know I’ve spent two years wondering why you said yes. Who knew being a complete and utter fool was the way to stealing your heart,” he said.

“A complete and utter fool that is about to blow off Sam again,” you said, Dean’s eyes wide as he spun around and booked it out of there, shouting an ‘I love you’ at you as the front door was slammed shut. “Frat boy, what am I ever going to do with you…”

“Y/N,” said Dean, smiling when you heard him come inside the house a few hours later. “I got a surprise.”

“I made you a pie,” you said, pointing into the kitchen, Dean’s brain distracted long enough for you to grab the bag out of his hands, peaking your head inside. “Did you buy flavored lube?”

“Yeah,” he said as you gave it back. “No, that isn’t your surprise either.”

“I would hope not,” you said, stopping in your tracks. “Was Sam with you when you bought this?”

“Hey, I saw him buying some too. I think Ruby’s got a little streak in her like yourself,” said Dean. 

“You think Sam and Ruby are up to what we were back then?” you asked, Dean grimacing for a moment. “What flavor did he get?”

“Vanilla. I’m pretty sure Sam’s got some learning to do on the sex front,” said Dean, a laugh pulling itself from you as you grabbed a plate for him. “What?”

“This coming from the guy who’s virginity I took,” you said, Dean scowling at you, throwing his arms over your shoulders while you cut him a large slice. “I was your first everything, Frat boy.”

“Oh, we got kinky pretty quickly,”  said Dean, nipping at your jaw. “Still are.”

“Yes, chocolate flavored lube. You’re an absolute mad man,” you teased, Dean biting at your neck playfully until you were spinning around to give him his pie.

“I did enjoy that time with the chocolate syrup at the cabin,” said Dean, raising an eyebrow. “Which is part of your surprise. We’re going up tomorrow for the long weekend.”

“Alright. Sam riding with us or-”

“No, Sam. Just us,” said Dean. You leaned against the counter and gave him a smirk. 

“Well then you should have bought more lube,” you said, Dean rolling his eyes.

“I don’t need it, I get you wet like that. It’ll be fun. We haven’t been in a couple of months,” said Dean.

“No arguments from me.”

“I didn’t realize your parents were coming over,” you said, spotting their car in the driveway. You climbed out and grabbed a bag from the trunk, Dean getting his own out but staying quiet. You had a feeling of what he was up to but not until you were inside exchanging hugs with your soon to be in-laws did it hit you. “You bought the cabin, didn’t you?”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to surprise you?” asked Dean, sighing but still wearing a smile. “Yes, I did.”

“Dean mentioned over the summer you guys were thinking of coming back to the area once you both graduate. We don’t really need both houses now that the boys are grown up,” said John. “Plus now we get to visit and don’t have to clean anything!”

“It’s not official yet,” said Dean. You wandered around the kitchen island, looking over everything as you felt the gaze of all three Winchesters on you. “I wasn’t going to buy a house without you.”

“Oh course at a family discount,” said Mary. “There’s no problems with it. You get the shed with the kayaks, the diving dock, furniture too if you want.”

“Everything will stay in my parents names until we have jobs. It’s a good size house and we can update things here and there as we go if you want but I know you love it so I figured it’d be a great place to start this part of our lives,” said Dean.

“I want to put up a fence,” you said, looking out the back window. “Not yet or even a huge one but you know when we have kids so they don’t wander in the lake back there.”

“We did the same thing when the boys were little,” said Mary. “Then we took it down when they got older.”

“We can have a fence. A dog like we talked about too,” said Dean with a grin.

“What was the secret stuff with Sam about?” you asked, Dean blushing and rubbing the back of his neck.

“The cabin was supposed to go to both of the boys. Dean wanted to be sure Sam was alright with you two taking it,” said John. 

“I told him he’s allowed to visit as much as he wants,” said Dean. “Not that I thought you’d mind.”

“No, I want Sammy to come over just as much as he does now. The apartments he was looking at for next year are only a fifteen minute drive,” you said. You walked over to the back door and looked outside at the changing leaves, remembering how nearly three years ago that backyard was where you thought you were a simple bet to Dean. You remembered his promise that he was telling the truth and that walk that night and the way the stars looked when you lay in your tent realizing how wrong you were.

“Y/N,” said Dean, suddenly by your side and enveloping your hand in his. “If you don’t want to live here, we don’t have to. It’s completely your choice.”

“You told me you loved me here. It’s perfect to start a family,” you said. You felt Dean nod back over his shoulder, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Do your parents want to stay for lunch?”

“I’m sure they’d love to but they’ve got a date apparently,” said Dean. You turned around and saw Dean’s parents talking quietly, both laughing at something and closing their mouths when they caught your staring. “We’re taking the house guys.”

“We figured as much,” said John. “We’ve got to run for our reservation but we’ll see you two at our place for lunch tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah, go have fun on your old people date,” said Dean, shoving them out.

“I still got some moves,” said John. “Dean got it from somewhere you know.”

“Dad! Leave! Now!” said Dean, closing the door after his parents scurried out. “Jeez, I’m glad we only have to deal with the one set.”

“I’m pretty sure my parents with yours would have been the death of us,” you said, looking around with a big smile. “I think they would have liked how my life ended up. A home and a big family that loves me.”

“They’d be proud of you,” said Dean, pulling you into a tight embrace. “I am, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, but you’re supposed to be proud of me,” you said, Dean blushing again. “You like me or something Winchester?”

“I’ve kind of got this major crush on you,” he said, taking both your hands in his and swinging them lightly. “I’m sort of deeply in love with you and your sass.”

“My sass?” you teased, Dean cocking his head.

“Your sass...that ass,” said Dean, bending down and picking you up. “I think a home welcoming is in order.”

“Did you bring the chocolate?” you asked, Dean humming. “Let me freshen up and then you can have a taste.”

“Yes mam.”

“Fuck, Y/N,” said Dean with a pant, almost giggling as he collapsed on the bed next to you. “You and that throat of yours is going to send me to an early grave.”

“Did you say something? My brain is mush after not one but two orgasms in the span of twenty seconds. I don’t think I can walk straight anymore,” you said, Dean spinning his body around and pulling your body in close. “Good ole 69. Never fails.”

“Damn right it doesn’t,” he said, laughing to himself. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Less than two months away, Frat boy. I’m so glad I went to that party. I didn’t even want to since I figured some drunk frat guy would hit on me and I’d have to turn him down,” you said.

“I had like two shots before I got up the nerve to talk to you, that was it,” said Dean. “You in skinny jeans is intimidating, sweetheart.”

“You in a black tee is intimidating,” you said.

“Oh, so me every single day then?” said Dean, flashing you a smile.

“Ah, shut up,” you said, burrowing your head into his chest. “Love you.”

“Love you too sweetheart,” he said with a hug. “Honestly, do you want to live here?”

“Yeah, it’s always felt like this magical place to me, our private paradise. I can’t wait to have that all the time,” you said.

“How about after graduation and we settle down into our jobs and into the house, we get a dog next summer? Something big and tough to take care of you if I’m not around,” said Dean.

“Or we could get a little cute adorable fluff ball,” you said, Dean pursing his lips.

“Or we could get both,” he said, your eyes lighting up. “Good practice for a few years from now.”

“Perfect,” you said, kissing his nose. “A tiny ball of cuteness and a big ball of cuteness.”

“I thought I said tough,” said Dean, your head shaking.

“No, you said something big and fluffy,” you said, Dean wearing a smirk.

“I’m pretty sure I said big and tough, little missy,” said Dean. 

“Big fluffy things can be tough and protective too,” you said.

“Oh really?” he asked.

“You are,” you said, Dean rolling his eyes. “You really are though!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, kissing your cheek. “Come on, we got to clean up. We have a hot date in an hour.”

“Wait, is today...” you asked, Dean smiling to himself. “Three years since we met, isn’t it.”

“Yup. So wash up, put on that backless little black dress of yours and prepare yourself for the best night of your life,” he said. 

“Best night of my life? That’s a tall order,” you said, Dean raising an eyebrow.

“Want to bet on it?” he asked.

“With you? You’re on.”

#dean #dean winchester #spn #supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean fanfiction #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #dean fanfic #winchester #dean winchester x #one shot

[supernatural-imagine-fanfic]

Healthy Amount of Skepticism

Summary: The boys roll through town on their way home and catch word of something going on. They decide to sick around and figure out what’s going on, but not everything is as it appears. Word Count: 1171 Author: Fangless Warnings: Cute dog gif at the end.  Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam x Platonic!Reader

Part 2 • Part 3

“What kind of town has a library that’s too small to hold historical records!?”

Sam was more frustrated than anything, this case was already hard enough, with little to no information about the small town on the internet, and the rare article he could find would reference written record. Now, the clerk of the one room library had told him that most of the written record was held at another location, since they didn’t have the facilities to hold them.

“Sorry, it’s been a really long day,” Sam flashed a smile at the woman behind the counter. She smiled at him in return and held up a hand, signaling him to wait for a moment. She placed her phone to her ear and waited for the other end to pick up.

“Y/N? Hi, it’s Laurie from the library. I was wondering if I could send someone your way?”

Dean walked up to the door of a fairly old house that placed itself within walking distance of the four buildings that consisted of “down town.” Sam had texted minutes ago asking him to come help him with research, to which he reluctantly agreed. After all with as small as a town as this, it had only taken him about 20 minutes in total to ask the town’s inhabitants about anything that could be connected to what the boys were thinking was a local poltergeist.

Dean knocked hesitantly on the door, not entirely sure if he had the right house. The door opened after a moment to reveal a woman, in a floral sundress that complemented her Y/E/C eyes perfectly.

“You must be Dean! Sam is in the study, come on in!”

It took a second for Dean to react, the warm tones of your voice taking him by surprise. You on the other hand did not notice the delay, with your head already wrapped around the many questions Sam had used to pick your brain about the small town you lived in.

The two of you entered the study, a place where you spent most of your time. It was filled with bookshelves, and a single table in the middle of it all, already covered in books off all shapes and sizes, as the taller of the two men poured over the words within them. He looked up after a moment and welcomed his brother into the room.

“So what have we got so far?” Dean was slightly quizzical, looking at some of the titles of the books surrounding his brother and finding that they were all lore books, not historical documents like he and Sam had disgusted earlier.

“Well, there have been no significant details that back up the idea of it being a poltergeist,” Sam’s words didn’t phase you to Dean’s surprise, as mention of supernatural beings usually turned people away. “Y/N is actually the one who said that it definitely isn’t a poltergeist, she is considered a historian around these parts and told me that there is no way that a ghost is walking around town.”

“Then what’s terrorizing the neighbors?”

You shrugged at Dean’s question, but didn’t meet his eye.

The boys spent another few hours at your house, pouring over your vast and valuable collection of history and lore books that you had accumulated over the years. Some of the books were handed down to you from your father’s collection, the others you had gone to great lengths to find.

The subject of myth and folklore had become a fascination of yours at a young age, when your father started to tell you stories about far off places with fantastic and magical creatures.

A loud crash pulled you from your thoughts, you sighed, tisked and then stood up.

“Oliver, if you knocked something off the counter again…” you muttered to yourself, walking out of the room.

The two brothers looked at each other, “Doesn’t she live alone?”

“I did hear some scurrying around earlier, but I think it’s a cat. It is a big house, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a cat as well.”

“As well?” The elder looked worriedly at Sam.

“Yeah, she has a dog, but I think his name is Maxwell, not Oliver” a matter of fact tone plagued Sam’s response, a scoff added to the ensemble when Dean frowned. 

Almost immediately after mentioning it there was the click of nails across the wood floor as a long haired corgi trotted into the room, it’s tongue lolling out to the side of it’s happy little smile. 

You walked in seconds after, looking a little frazzled, a damp rag still in your hand. You sat down at the end of the table after placing the rag over the back of your chair. 

“Everything Ok?”

You nodded, your gaze glassy as you stared at the book open in front of you, “Yeah, I just hate it when things break.”

Dean couldn’t help it but think that he could see galaxies in your eyes as they stared off into a space that he couldn’t see. A few moments that of silence filled the room as your sentence hung in the air. After a moment, Sam closed his book, the snapping sound causing you to come back to reality and your eyes snapping back into this dimension.

“Do you know any good places that we could stay for the night, so we can get out of your hair for now?”

“We actually don’t have a motel, an inn or any type of rent a room place in town. We’re literally in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere so nobody comes to visit our tiny town.” 

“Alright, Baby isn’t going to be lonely tonight.” You looked at Sam, not know what Dean meant by ‘baby.’ Sam mouthed ‘car’ and you nodded.

“You guys don’t have to sleep in your car tonight. I have a couple extra rooms for when family is in town, you can crash there,” the two boys looked at each other skeptically, “I’m not taking no for an answer, and it will definitely be more comfortable.”

That night, Dean woke up to a sound of muttering coming from outside his room. He slowly pulled himself out from under the covers and waked over to the door, simply wondering what the ruckus was about. He peeked through the already cracked door and saw you standing in the threshold that separated the living room from the hallway. 

“I thought the rules were that I am to open my door to all good people, and treat them with the upmost hospitality. They are not here to make things worse, they just want to know what is going on and then they will leave. You don’t need to act this upset, Oliver.” 

Dean was confused as to why you would tell off your cat, but when he heard a gargled, but audible response, he froze. 

“They are hunters. I can smell it on them.”

Part 2

#dean winchester #Sam Winchester #Sammy Winchester #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #SPN #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn imagine #supernatural #Supernatural Fan Fiction #supernatural fanfiction #y/n #reader insert #supernatural imagines

[absyoung55]

It's Not Worth It

Part 2 

Part 1

 A/N: I threw the Scottish accent out the window sorry.

The jeep ride was silent both Stiles and Y/N seething with anger. “Aren’t you supposed to be at a party?” Y/n glared at Stiles “I saw you leave Heathers Birthday party. Why were you there?” Stiles kept his eyes on the road but was gesturing spasticly “I was there to protect You” Y/N mumbled propping her elbow on the window ledge and putting her hand in her face “protect me from who!? My friends?!” Stiles screamed at you “Your friends weren’t the only ones there!” You snapped at him. “Yeah I know YOU were there” Stiles looked at you for just a second his expression one of hatred. His comment boiled your blood your fists heated and glowed red hot you held them up to not burn anything. You had saved that fucking girls life. You had allowed Heather to live you could have let the Darach take her. But she was Stiles friend.

At Heather’s party: Y/N had followed Scott and Stiles trailing behind out of ear shot so Scott couldn’t hear you. Or smell you. You observed a short blonde girl kiss Stiles you nearly burned the front door down peeking through the side window. Then they left Scott and disappeared into the house the girl reaked of lust. You could smell Stiles a mile away his chemo signals off the charts. Y/N rounded the corner of the house to peek through a window and there it was. A hideous human being no lips to cover her teeth nor eyelids to cover her bright blue eyes her face mauled and scared. Power rolled off her, supernatural Power, a power you had felt before a long time ago. She was a Darach. Once a druid but was now on a dark path. She started messing with the girl alone in the cellar. A growl ripped through your chest and the thing turned you couldn’t tell if she was shocked at your presence. She waved her arms about; to use her power on you. Y/N crouched and your own power burned bright your eyes glowing violet locked on the hideous thing. Springing forward on your heals you tackled the disgusting thing, wrestling her to the ground straddling her you gripped her forearms and shoved your knee into her wind pipe and incinerated her. Within minutes the Darach was a pile of ash. The blonde girl was released from its spell. Just then Stiles returned with something, and the girl screamed at him and stomped away. Stiles followed after her trying to understand what happened in the 5 minutes he was gone. You kicked around the pile of ashes to make sure there was no evidence of murder. Then you looked around for witnesses thankfully there were none. That’s when you heard it. An Alphas howl. Loud and strong really strong. Curiosity consumed you, Scott could protect the Stiles right? With that comfort you headed to the source of the Alpha cry.

Back To Now:

 “Stiles pull the fuck over NOW” I was furious. My fists burst into flames as Stiles swerved to the side of the road “ What are you gonna do WALK home?! woah.” Stiles was just as furious until he saw my blazing fists. “A-are you okay whats happening?” my eyes glowed violet and I stared at his heat signature “ I dont have control” what is happening I’ve never lost control. Black stripes zig-zagged across my body. I slammed open the Jeep door and fell into the gravel on the side of the road. My claws dug into the cool rocks charring them upon touch. My tail whipped wildly around my legs. I felt pressure on my back and I looked up, Stiles had gotten out of the Jeep and was in the ditch besides me. “ Y/N look at me” I met his eyes “Calm down” like a well trained dog I obeyed, the glow left my eyes and slowly the black stripes receded. God damn what is this boy doing to me? I collapsed on to the gravel, earning a laugh from Stiles. “I have a way with calming out of control werewolves” Stiles looked at his finger nails and pretended to shine them on his hoodie, I rolled my eyes and rose from the gravel. “Im not a werewolf, I’m part werewolf part werelion with a whole mess of complicated” I put my hand on my hip and z snapped my fingers. It was Stiles turn to roll his eyes, I smirked at him. We both got back into the jeep, “Hey um so whats with the flames I mean Scott doesnt have flames… and Malia definitely doesnt have flames..” I looked down at my lap playing with my fingers, I peeked over at Stiles, He was looking at the road then me then the road then back to me. “well its a long story” we just then pulled into his drive way. I pretty much lived at the Stilinski house the sheriff, even though I was thousands of years older, treated me like a daughter, I loved Stiles, I tried to love him like a son, considering our age but its difficult, so right now I’m settling for friends/ roommates, It wasn’t hard to convince the sheriff and Stiles to let me stay with them, I cleaned, cooked, did laundry fixed things, and worked on the jeep. In return I slept on their couch. Stiles shut off the jeep and turned to look at me “Well we have all night” I looked at him in disbelief that he wanted to know. Stiles hopped out of the Jeep and opened the door for me. “Thank you sir” I sarcastically hopped out of the jeep “M'Lady” Stiles pretended to tip a hat. We walked side by side up the side walk and I shuffled to the side so Stiles could unlock the front door. Once we were inside I felt awkward, “I dont know where to start…” I plopped down onto the couch and Stiles sat quietly next to me. “I guess start at the beginning” Stiles shrugged his shoulders. I let out a long heavy sigh “well my father was a bitten werewolf and my mother was a purebred born Lowenmensch- er werelion. My mom was an alpha but she died giving birth to me so I was actually born an alpha. My mother’s sister; who was not a werelion, but a banshee, raised me because my father hated me for killing my mother and wanted to kill me to become an alpha. Anyway Lowenmensch are different we um this is kinda bad, but most Lowenmensch only live on a diet of pineal glands,” I looked over at Stiles to see his reaction but he had a neutral expression “its a part of the brain Stiles..“ I searched his face for disgust but there was none. “I’ve heard of worse Y/N” Stiles slowly reached over and took my hand in his and began running his thumb over my knuckles. “Don’t worry about what I think it doesn’t matter” Stiles attempted to comfort me “ Stiles what you think means the world to me ….” I couldnt look at him so I looked at the floor memorizing the pattern of the wood. “But why?” Stiles sounded concerned “it’s a part if my story if you want me to continue…” I looked up at Stiles and he raised his eyebrows and nodded his head for me to continue “I lived with my Aunt until she passed away when I was 20 years old, she died from a mysterious disease at the time but now I know it was a vitamin c diffidence. Anyway she wanted me to have her pineal gland be my first and it was, after eating it my senses were heightened, my roar was more powerful, and my eyes glowed purple and I came to learn that I could heal the sick and wounded. After she was gone for a few weeks my father came looking for me. When he found me his intentions were clear, he was going to kill me. He never even laid a finger on me my roar scared him into submission, and I never saw him again. I stopped ageing at about 18 so when I turned 50 and still looked like a teenager I knew I had to leave my village before they lit the torches” Stiles laughed and let go of my hand and relaxed into the couch “I left Scotland and traveled to Europe, my first stop was to help the tribes build Stonehenge. Then I made my way to Rome, I fought in the Colosseum and became an undefeated champion. They moved me to Greece to fight their gladiators and beasts. Thats where I met Plato and Aristotle and started studying to be a philosopher. Eventually I had to leave Greece because of the apples.” Stiles looked confused “apples?” He lifted an eyebrow at me and I laughed a little “at the time to throw an apple at a woman was a propose of marriage, I was young and beautiful then so I was constantly bombarded with apples” Stiles looked like he wanted to say something, he opened and closed his mouth a few times searching for words “you still are young and beautiful” Stiles mashed his lips together and looked at the ground “thank you Stiles” I leaned over so my face was under his as he looked at the floor a huge smirk plastered on my face. He thought I was beautiful. “No problem” Stiles smiled crookedly. “After Greece was the renaissance so that was horrible, I spent weeks painting with artists all over Europe specifically I was an assistant to Michelangelo painting the Cappella Magna - er Sistine Chapel. I was the one who would bring him meals and more paint and other disgusting things I don’t want to talk about.” I shuddered and Stiles gave me a look “Chamber pots” and that’s all I had to say for his eyebrows to shoot up. “Anyway I moved around a lot, I never really connected with anyone until my first visit to Beacon Hills. There was a Phoenix here at one time, phoenix are evil creatures they set anything the touch on fire they look pretty much like burnt crispy zombies, I murdered one of the last ones in front of a little boy it was going to kill, after the phoenix died I took its pineal gland. Since then I’ve had a problem with my temper and my animal transformed into a tiger, and I have an affinity for fire.” Stiles hand had settled on my clothed thigh. “You saved someone? From the phoenix?” I felt a sadness weigh on my heart “I only wish I had been there sooner to stop others from loosing their lives, I only saved one boy” Stiles stood up “One boy can make all the difference that one boy could have grown up to do amazing things” you thought about Elias …. Elias wow I am so stupid Elias was the man from your squad in Vietnam “Elias Stilinski” the name left your lips the same time the front door opened. “Hey dad how was work” Noah entered the house “Boring but I’m not complaining” I stood suddenly startling both of them “Noah, … were you named after anything?” The wheels kept turning in my head pieces clicking into place “My father named me Noah after his sergeant that lead him through Vietnam untouched He said he was the most noble and selfless man he had ever met and hoped I would be like him his name was Noah..” “O'Mally” both boys looked at you “the men always called me Ma'am” both boys faces were shocked and their jaws fell slack “Elias. How is Elias I know he’s not dead” I looked at Noah hopeful “He’s.. He’s… growing old effects everyone different” I nodded my head slowly a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away and sniffled. “He is a good man I ran into him a few times in life, Stiles he was the boy I saved from the phoenix.” Stiles looked at his dad and his dad stared at Stiles. “My father named me after You?” I laughed really hard so hard I crumpled to the floor clutching my gut. I heard Stiles snicker and I looked up to Noah with a grin plastered on his face. 

 I made spaghetti for supper the whole time I was cooking Stiles and I talked I told him all about little Derek and Vietnam with his grandfather how I left the Hales and came back and they were gone and what I had done after to cope then I got to the part with Lydia “Stiles something happened to me that night,” I let out a heavy sigh “have you ever heard of an imprint” I stirred the noodles “You mean like a baby duckling when it hatches?” I giggled “well sort of, a werewolf imprint works differently, it’s kinda like you’ve found your soul mate you would do anything for them you would die for them, it’s an extreme kind of love.” I looked at Stiles he was looking down lost in thought his bottom lip trapped between his teeth with his eyebrows mashed together. “It’s very rare and only happens every thousands of years… It’s happened to me… I- I imprinted … on you.”

#teen wolf #stiles stilinski #dylan o'brien #scott mccall #tyler posey #derek hale #tyler hoechlin #sheriff stilinski #imagine #fanfic #werewolf

[firedingo]

How stress leads to Depression & followed by self-harm

So If you've been following along, you might realise I have some pretty serious mental health issues, the life altering Depression kind :( As you might have guessed I'm having a bad day and given the thoughts I was having I thought this post might be a good idea. So how does this all begin? For the vast majoriy of people it begins with psychological stress. Perhaps you're wondering how you're goin to pay that bill. Perhaps it's dealing with that problematic co-worker. For many many people they sucessfully deal with the stress that's happening and they move on happier and healthier than before. For some however, the stress can't or isn't resolved and so it remains causing a drain on the person. People are highly adaptive, that's what makes the human race so long lived. Two World Wars and we're still here, only creature more adaptable than us is the cockroach which experts recon even a nuke can't kill (gg cockroaches). Anyway as people are so adaptive even if they don't resolve the stress they can continue on but to keep going on some of their resources are diverted to keeping the stress at bay. Think of it as running a computer but say 10% of the hardware spends all of its time keeping a virus at bay. You can use the computer but it's not as good as it could be. This is not the end of the world for most people but for those select few if more stresses come along and aren't dealt with then more and more resources are used up until they get so low they start developing Depression and other mental health conditions like anxiety. If the stress continues and the person's resources are totally consumed up, they can be pushed to the point of doing something extremesuch as self-harm. I like to liken it to a spike in demand on a computer. If suddenly 3 programs all requested 10% CPU resources and there was 20 or 30% resources left. Naturally the computer begins to feel sluggish because it's overburdened. For me, when I get to this point I begin to contemplate lashing out and doing something drastic. I read an article online that put it well: "It not really as crazy as it sounds. As water will always seek to be level in a glass, the human body seeks to be level also and one extreme problem (your nervous system out of whack) needs one extreme solution (self-harm) to bring back the equilibrium." Usually I don't get to the suicide point just yet, that usually comes shortly after if this state of needing to lash out remains. If I feel so totally overwhelmed that I can only think one thing in the world can help me, can solve my problems. No at this point I get to self-harm before I get to suicide. For me self-harm is usually infrequent, I'm talking months apart but still it happens because things become too much and when I'm like that there is no one I can turn to. Most everyone I have met has no care or time for that. They will try and stop you killing yourself but can't spare 5 minutes to just be with me. When I am like that, I am no longer strong enough to continue on by myself. All I ask is for someone to help me just for a moment, to take the weight of the world off my shoulders for 5 or 10 minutes. Just sit with me, chat, throw me kitten pictures, link a funny video, suggest a distraction, talk about something you're interested in etc. Any of that takes the weight off my shoulders when I am my worst. Sadly very few people if any do that and so I internalize how I feel because of it. Eventually I crack and lash out. Self-harm for me is almost always cutting. Both accessible, not as bad as it sounds and relatively easy to control. I also have a fairly high tolerance for pain, yes I feel the cuts hurting as I make them but I feel and incredible almost overwhelming sense of relief as the stress, the pain, the sadness, whatever else I was feeling leaves. I would choose to cut fleshy areas of my body to avoid doing any long term damage, a little skin scaring but nothing else. Initially I cut the tops of my lower arms, that became a problem in summer when I would be hot and want to remove whatever long sleeved clothes I had on but couldn't. Also wearing my towel around my body but not my arms after a shower was also an issue so I started looking at other body parts. Next my upper arms, then my legs, then I settled on my hips. I'm still careful not to cut too low so if I wear a knee length skirt and it's windy my upper thigh/hip isn't shown by accident. You know that feeling you get seeing the last of a tub of water going down the drain or the last of sand slipping from one side to the other of an hourglass? That fleeting almost evaporating feeling? That's what the relief feels like to me. It feels like whatever negativity was inside me has turned into a gas and is slowly but surely slipping away, evaporating away.... I know it's not a great coping method and I do understand the risks and I do understand why it is discouraged but it is also the only thing that helps me. I know it'll take roughly 2 weeks for my skin to heal fully and about 3 days to seal the skin. I know what to keep an eye out for regarding infection, I keep the wounds which are more like scratches clean. I also have faith in my immune system. I had an antibiotic resistant infection under my left breast a couple years ago. When I finally presented to the hospital's emergency department, like half the rostered doctors came by to have a look. No one could figure out how the hell I wasn't septic and barely symptomatic. I presented because I was in pain. I still credit my immune system for that. Put me next to a highly contagious person and I'd bet 1 million dollars I don't get sick. Pretty sure either my immune system is God or I have a natural immunity to just about everything. So yeah I trust my immune system. Back to the wounds, as I said they're more like scratches since I use the blade from a pencil sharpener to cut myself. Easy to get. I've contemplated using a stanley knife you can get from hardware shops....I think you Americans call it a box cutter? Anyway one of those knifes you slide the blade up from inside the pouch it's in that you get from hardware shops. So what lead to all this from me? Well if you've been following along at home, Centrelink the government agency here that administers welfare stopped my payments some 9 weeks ago. They did this when I tried to update my details regarding studying. They told me I had to reapply for literally the same payment except for 25+ year olds. I went to do that and they said what's your student ID. Previous to that my course provider had closed down and so I was to be moved to a new provider and at that time my new provider hadn't issued me a student ID. I was calling my new provider who said I needed to opt-in to a student loan first befoire they would enrol me, the department of education and training were telling me you can't opt-in until your details are sent by your new provider to us which means they need to enrol you. Back and forth I went until my new provider finally said sorry we can't accept funding for your course you have to get moved to another provider instead. At this point the tuition assurance provider aka the people helping me move between providers was no longer reachable and so I got stuck. So for 9 weeks I've been living off savings with at minimum $60 coming out every month to cover my phone bill since I'm on a contract still and it doesn't break till September. I'd be up for like $300 for a termination fee if I broke the contract now + whatever would be left for the handset I got with the contract, though at the time my mobile carrier waived the handset repayment cost so long as I agreed to a 24 month contract. I saw no problem since I got a plan upgrade, more data, unnlimited calls and messages and a free handset essentially. Only downside was the 24 month contract. Anyway back to what's going on, Centrelink stopped paying me, I'm without a provider, can't reach the tuition assurance provider, living off savings and still have ongoing monthly costs that can't be stopped. So as a result of my dire financial situation I've started cutting back costs which means I hardly buy food and as a result eat even less than I did before which was 1 maybe 2 meals a day. Now it's more like 1 meal every 2 days. On top of this a few days ago I started having trouble with my car. Turn the key and the engine doesn't want to turn over and start, get it going finally and within a few seconds it stalls from low revs. Great :/ So I start applying the accelerator when the engine gets going and bingo, my baby revs to life and is good to go. So I head home where I was going but get caught by red lights. Sitting waiting and the revs begin to drop and I go oh dear this is bad and then they dip low enough they threaten to stall the car at the lights :/ So I again lightly apply the accelerator with my hand on the handbreak ready to drop it when the lights go green. Thankfully I get home ok. Anyway what that suggests is that it's a power issue which as far as I know means it could be spark plugs, yay not so expensive, battery, not horrible but not cheap or alternator, depending on car can be very fucking expensive :/ Was reading about a guy being charged for a $600 alternator.....to be fair he had a Ford while I have a Volkswagon. I have about $2500 I can work with.....well probably less now given how many weeks it has been. So I took my car to a mechanic today, unfortunately not avoidable. I was hoping the car would have come back this afternoon but no. Tomorrow I have two appointments back to back quite some distance apart. Not happy about having no car. Going to be stuck on a push bike. I thought no biggy, not fun but doable. Then I sat on the floor to talk to and pat our dog and boom, I pull the muscle up the full length of my right leg and can now no longer properly stretch it and on top of that I spent the last week with a headache or migraine for almost every single day that was so crippling all I could do was sleep it off and trash my sleeping. I also had to push another appointment I had last week because of that. That say that I am at the end of my rope and I can't cope is an understatement or how I feel. Oh and not to mention I had two conflicts with my mother todays also and my family is a very big trigger for my depression. I honestly feel like I always get the worst fucking deal of cards in life. Only thing that could make things worse is if Centrelink decided to send me a debt notice as they have done regarding the #NotMyDebt issue(Expect a blog on that by itself at some point in the future). At this point I'm no longer coping and I lashed out earlier and self-harmed. The stress lead to my depression causing another episode which lead to me self-harming. I'm just so over it that I wish I could just disappear forever, at the pace things are going, I'm not entirely sure that won't happen in a very permenant way :( Anyway I might drop an update here after tomorrow if things go well since I am talking to Legal Aid tomorrow. Maybe they can help with Centrelink and the providers. All my effort has produced very little results. Well if you made it to the end of this ost, thanks for reading, sorry it was ranty. I just needed to get this out. Here's to hoping I can get the help I need in the future. Stay Safe Out There!

#depression #self-harm #self-injury #welfare #centrelink #stress #mental health #financial stress

[ongames]

49 Tweets That Sum Up Easter For Parents

Easter is less than a week away, and parents are gearing up for egg hunts, creepy bunny photos and serious sugar highs.

As with any holiday, having kids makes Easter extra chaotic ... and extra hilarious too. We scoured Twitter and found 49 funny tweets from parents about celebrating Easter. 

Dad, the Easter Bunny should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my basket every year. Me: (eating a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

Just explained to my kids that sometimes an evil bunny comes and eats kids' Easter candy on the night of Easter.

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) March 28, 2016

I forgot to buy Easter eggs for the hunt this morning so I told my kids that this year the bunny hid them REALLY well.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 5, 2015

My kids can find 75K plastic eggs hidden outside, but they can't pick up one Lego in the middle of the walkway. #Easter

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 27, 2016

Step 1: Paint Jesus on an Easter Egg. Step 2: Hide the Easter Egg. Step 3: Yell, "You need to find Jesus!" At all the little children.

— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) March 27, 2016

It's 10:30 at night. Should I tell my kids to give up on the Easter egg hunt or just let them keep looking?

— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) March 28, 2016

Based on all of the practice my daughters get looking for shoes, Easter eggs don't stand a chance this year.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 27, 2015

Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 24, 2017

Shoutout to all the parents who wrestled their screaming toddlers into Brunch clothes this #Easter.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) March 27, 2016

This is my family after our Easter brunch. I share it b/c NO ONE ASKED THE EASTER BUNNY TO POSE WITH US http://pic.twitter.com/OEFYDmgqag

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 5, 2015

Kids really do make the holidays magical and bright. Like, take Easter for example. Did you know vomit comes in pastels, too?

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 27, 2016

For real Easter dinner fun, serve rabbit to the kids' table.

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) March 27, 2016

My 8 year old said that he hopes the Easter Egg Hunt is more of a challenge this year so I'm buying a bunch of mouse traps.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 17, 2016

The Easter baskets are down to just robin eggs and black jelly beans. This is my official cry for help.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 1, 2016

Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. - Every parent on Easter

— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) March 27, 2016

Still waiting for this toddler to find the Easter Eggs that are literally sitting in the grass right in front of them.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 29, 2016

My kid started using air quotes when saying "Easter Bunny," so I started using air quotes when talking about his "Easter candy."

— qwertygirl (@qwertygirl) April 4, 2015

*8 year old walks into kitchen* "Daddy, I have some questions about the Easter bunny." *wife walks into kitchen* *I cartwheel out*

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 29, 2016

Parenting Tip: Strip down to your skivvies before stealing your kid's easter candy so you can pretend to be sleepwalking if you get caught.

— HammBone (@hammbone84) April 6, 2016

Toddler found two and a half eggs at the Easter egg hunt. Yeah, HALF. No one was messing around during that thing.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Hey, everyone! Look how much Easter I'm having! *Posts all the obnoxious kid and bunny and Easter basket and egg hunt pictures*

— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) March 28, 2016

Do you think Easter is the number 1 holiday for child vehicular barfing?

— Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) March 27, 2016

Easter: Hunt for eggs. Day After Easter: Can't go anywhere without seeing and stepping on plastic egg tops and bottoms.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 28, 2016

One fun part about Easter is how your kids spend the entire day getting jacked up on candy and then you remember it's a school night.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

We covered our backyard in candy-filled Easter eggs. My 1-year-old picked up zero eggs and one piece of dog poop. Money well spent.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2014

"He can't drink the Easter egg dye." Submitted By: Ashley http://pic.twitter.com/SsRvbqaA4k

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) March 28, 2016

When did "Easter crafts" become a thing? What happened to the good old days of putting an egg in all the dye colors & watching it turn ugly?

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 22, 2016

Serious question. When does the Easter Bunny come by to pick up all the kids he just loaded up with candy? #parenting

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 28, 2016

FYI: Talking into a half-eaten hollow chocolate bunny makes your voice louder, in case anyone needs their Easter candy to be more obnoxious

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) March 30, 2016

My kids have figured out every hiding spot I have in this house, so I guess I have no choice but to finish this stash of Easter candy now.

— Ash (@cray_at_home_ma) March 29, 2016

How Easter candy is really made http://pic.twitter.com/EuEJpTSIUz

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) March 27, 2016

A cute and scientific thing I tell my kids is that the Easter Bunny's body would flop around for several minutes after decapitation.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 28, 2017

Pro Tip: Christmas lights can double as Easter lights if *you* leave them up long enough. *we*

— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 7, 2017

4 yr old son: "That Jesus guy came back from the dead and saw all these people? So then he's a zombie?"#Easter

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 27, 2016

5: here's the thing about chocolate: it's delicious. Me: is that it? 5: yes. Me: ok. 5: and I found an Easter egg from last year & ate it.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 2, 2017

Jesus died on the cross so you could put pictures of your kid's Easter basket on Facebook.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 5, 2015

I forgot to post a picture of my kids in their Easter clothes on Facebook yesterday and now DCFS is knocking on my door.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 21, 2014

*Morgan Freeman narrates "Alex thought he'd controlled his demons, but as soon as the Cadbury Easter Eggs went on display, it was all over."

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) January 15, 2017

While we were sleeping, did Easter become Halloween Part 2/Mini-Christmas?? (Some of these baskets, man.)

— Nicole Blades (@NicoleBlades) April 21, 2014

Celebrating Easter by being woke up at 5:15am and letting my kid her weight in chocolate before the sun comes up just like the Lord intended

— Tim (@Playing_Dad) March 27, 2016

[Wipes chocolate from face and brushes candy dust from lap.] I hate those cliche tweets about parents eating all their kids Easter candy.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) March 28, 2016

Hey Gals, don't forget to check Pinterest today for ideas on upcycling your Easter bonnet into an April Fool's Day chapeau.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 30, 2016

People who say “Hoppy Easter!” make me feel like Jesus isn’t risen.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) March 27, 2016

Real text to my husband: "Easter stuff is ready for the attic. But, please, whatever you do, keep the Christmas welcome mat outside okay?"

— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) April 13, 2016

Behind every photo of kids coloring eggs is a parent screaming and threatening to take away Easter.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 27, 2016

My 8yo son asked for a smart phone for Easter. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Everything about that phrase is ridiculous.

— Lady E (@LadyEdotMe) March 6, 2017

The Easter Bunny doesn't talk, so here are the kids awkwardly looking at each other like, What do we do now? http://pic.twitter.com/iTMDTx2VWe

— Aaron Schmidt (@byaaronschmidt) March 26, 2016

What came first? The tantrum over leaving a giant basket of candy at home, or the egg hunt? #Easter

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Bummed Easter is over. Now which candy/gift bestowing mythological creature am I supposed to use to extort good behavior out of my children?

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) April 21, 2014

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

49 Tweets That Sum Up Easter For Parents published first on http://ift.tt/2lnpciY

[yes-dal456]

49 Tweets That Sum Up Easter For Parents

Easter is less than a week away, and parents are gearing up for egg hunts, creepy bunny photos and serious sugar highs.

As with any holiday, having kids makes Easter extra chaotic ... and extra hilarious too. We scoured Twitter and found 49 funny tweets from parents about celebrating Easter. 

Dad, the Easter Bunny should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my basket every year. Me: (eating a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

Just explained to my kids that sometimes an evil bunny comes and eats kids' Easter candy on the night of Easter.

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) March 28, 2016

I forgot to buy Easter eggs for the hunt this morning so I told my kids that this year the bunny hid them REALLY well.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 5, 2015

My kids can find 75K plastic eggs hidden outside, but they can't pick up one Lego in the middle of the walkway. #Easter

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 27, 2016

Step 1: Paint Jesus on an Easter Egg. Step 2: Hide the Easter Egg. Step 3: Yell, "You need to find Jesus!" At all the little children.

— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) March 27, 2016

It's 10:30 at night. Should I tell my kids to give up on the Easter egg hunt or just let them keep looking?

— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) March 28, 2016

Based on all of the practice my daughters get looking for shoes, Easter eggs don't stand a chance this year.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 27, 2015

Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 24, 2017

Shoutout to all the parents who wrestled their screaming toddlers into Brunch clothes this #Easter.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) March 27, 2016

This is my family after our Easter brunch. I share it b/c NO ONE ASKED THE EASTER BUNNY TO POSE WITH US http://pic.twitter.com/OEFYDmgqag

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 5, 2015

Kids really do make the holidays magical and bright. Like, take Easter for example. Did you know vomit comes in pastels, too?

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 27, 2016

For real Easter dinner fun, serve rabbit to the kids' table.

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) March 27, 2016

My 8 year old said that he hopes the Easter Egg Hunt is more of a challenge this year so I'm buying a bunch of mouse traps.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 17, 2016

The Easter baskets are down to just robin eggs and black jelly beans. This is my official cry for help.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 1, 2016

Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. - Every parent on Easter

— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) March 27, 2016

Still waiting for this toddler to find the Easter Eggs that are literally sitting in the grass right in front of them.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 29, 2016

My kid started using air quotes when saying "Easter Bunny," so I started using air quotes when talking about his "Easter candy."

— qwertygirl (@qwertygirl) April 4, 2015

*8 year old walks into kitchen* "Daddy, I have some questions about the Easter bunny." *wife walks into kitchen* *I cartwheel out*

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 29, 2016

Parenting Tip: Strip down to your skivvies before stealing your kid's easter candy so you can pretend to be sleepwalking if you get caught.

— HammBone (@hammbone84) April 6, 2016

Toddler found two and a half eggs at the Easter egg hunt. Yeah, HALF. No one was messing around during that thing.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Hey, everyone! Look how much Easter I'm having! *Posts all the obnoxious kid and bunny and Easter basket and egg hunt pictures*

— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) March 28, 2016

Do you think Easter is the number 1 holiday for child vehicular barfing?

— Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) March 27, 2016

Easter: Hunt for eggs. Day After Easter: Can't go anywhere without seeing and stepping on plastic egg tops and bottoms.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 28, 2016

One fun part about Easter is how your kids spend the entire day getting jacked up on candy and then you remember it's a school night.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

We covered our backyard in candy-filled Easter eggs. My 1-year-old picked up zero eggs and one piece of dog poop. Money well spent.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2014

"He can't drink the Easter egg dye." Submitted By: Ashley http://pic.twitter.com/SsRvbqaA4k

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) March 28, 2016

When did "Easter crafts" become a thing? What happened to the good old days of putting an egg in all the dye colors & watching it turn ugly?

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 22, 2016

Serious question. When does the Easter Bunny come by to pick up all the kids he just loaded up with candy? #parenting

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 28, 2016

FYI: Talking into a half-eaten hollow chocolate bunny makes your voice louder, in case anyone needs their Easter candy to be more obnoxious

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) March 30, 2016

My kids have figured out every hiding spot I have in this house, so I guess I have no choice but to finish this stash of Easter candy now.

— Ash (@cray_at_home_ma) March 29, 2016

How Easter candy is really made http://pic.twitter.com/EuEJpTSIUz

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) March 27, 2016

A cute and scientific thing I tell my kids is that the Easter Bunny's body would flop around for several minutes after decapitation.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 28, 2017

Pro Tip: Christmas lights can double as Easter lights if *you* leave them up long enough. *we*

— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 7, 2017

4 yr old son: "That Jesus guy came back from the dead and saw all these people? So then he's a zombie?"#Easter

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 27, 2016

5: here's the thing about chocolate: it's delicious. Me: is that it? 5: yes. Me: ok. 5: and I found an Easter egg from last year & ate it.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 2, 2017

Jesus died on the cross so you could put pictures of your kid's Easter basket on Facebook.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 5, 2015

I forgot to post a picture of my kids in their Easter clothes on Facebook yesterday and now DCFS is knocking on my door.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 21, 2014

*Morgan Freeman narrates "Alex thought he'd controlled his demons, but as soon as the Cadbury Easter Eggs went on display, it was all over."

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) January 15, 2017

While we were sleeping, did Easter become Halloween Part 2/Mini-Christmas?? (Some of these baskets, man.)

— Nicole Blades (@NicoleBlades) April 21, 2014

Celebrating Easter by being woke up at 5:15am and letting my kid her weight in chocolate before the sun comes up just like the Lord intended

— Tim (@Playing_Dad) March 27, 2016

[Wipes chocolate from face and brushes candy dust from lap.] I hate those cliche tweets about parents eating all their kids Easter candy.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) March 28, 2016

Hey Gals, don't forget to check Pinterest today for ideas on upcycling your Easter bonnet into an April Fool's Day chapeau.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 30, 2016

People who say “Hoppy Easter!” make me feel like Jesus isn’t risen.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) March 27, 2016

Real text to my husband: "Easter stuff is ready for the attic. But, please, whatever you do, keep the Christmas welcome mat outside okay?"

— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) April 13, 2016

Behind every photo of kids coloring eggs is a parent screaming and threatening to take away Easter.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 27, 2016

My 8yo son asked for a smart phone for Easter. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Everything about that phrase is ridiculous.

— Lady E (@LadyEdotMe) March 6, 2017

The Easter Bunny doesn't talk, so here are the kids awkwardly looking at each other like, What do we do now? http://pic.twitter.com/iTMDTx2VWe

— Aaron Schmidt (@byaaronschmidt) March 26, 2016

What came first? The tantrum over leaving a giant basket of candy at home, or the egg hunt? #Easter

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Bummed Easter is over. Now which candy/gift bestowing mythological creature am I supposed to use to extort good behavior out of my children?

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) April 21, 2014

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from http://ift.tt/2orswP4 from Blogger http://ift.tt/2oYrcDP

#http://www.happiness2arab.tk/2017/04/49-tweets-that-sum-up-easter-for-parents.html

[imreviewblog]

49 Tweets That Sum Up Easter For Parents

Easter is less than a week away, and parents are gearing up for egg hunts, creepy bunny photos and serious sugar highs.

As with any holiday, having kids makes Easter extra chaotic ... and extra hilarious too. We scoured Twitter and found 49 funny tweets from parents about celebrating Easter. 

Dad, the Easter Bunny should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my basket every year. Me: (eating a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

Just explained to my kids that sometimes an evil bunny comes and eats kids' Easter candy on the night of Easter.

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) March 28, 2016

I forgot to buy Easter eggs for the hunt this morning so I told my kids that this year the bunny hid them REALLY well.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 5, 2015

My kids can find 75K plastic eggs hidden outside, but they can't pick up one Lego in the middle of the walkway. #Easter

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 27, 2016

Step 1: Paint Jesus on an Easter Egg. Step 2: Hide the Easter Egg. Step 3: Yell, "You need to find Jesus!" At all the little children.

— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) March 27, 2016

It's 10:30 at night. Should I tell my kids to give up on the Easter egg hunt or just let them keep looking?

— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) March 28, 2016

Based on all of the practice my daughters get looking for shoes, Easter eggs don't stand a chance this year.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 27, 2015

Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 24, 2017

Shoutout to all the parents who wrestled their screaming toddlers into Brunch clothes this #Easter.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) March 27, 2016

This is my family after our Easter brunch. I share it b/c NO ONE ASKED THE EASTER BUNNY TO POSE WITH US http://pic.twitter.com/OEFYDmgqag

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 5, 2015

Kids really do make the holidays magical and bright. Like, take Easter for example. Did you know vomit comes in pastels, too?

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 27, 2016

For real Easter dinner fun, serve rabbit to the kids' table.

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) March 27, 2016

My 8 year old said that he hopes the Easter Egg Hunt is more of a challenge this year so I'm buying a bunch of mouse traps.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 17, 2016

The Easter baskets are down to just robin eggs and black jelly beans. This is my official cry for help.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 1, 2016

Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. - Every parent on Easter

— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) March 27, 2016

Still waiting for this toddler to find the Easter Eggs that are literally sitting in the grass right in front of them.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 29, 2016

My kid started using air quotes when saying "Easter Bunny," so I started using air quotes when talking about his "Easter candy."

— qwertygirl (@qwertygirl) April 4, 2015

*8 year old walks into kitchen* "Daddy, I have some questions about the Easter bunny." *wife walks into kitchen* *I cartwheel out*

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 29, 2016

Parenting Tip: Strip down to your skivvies before stealing your kid's easter candy so you can pretend to be sleepwalking if you get caught.

— HammBone (@hammbone84) April 6, 2016

Toddler found two and a half eggs at the Easter egg hunt. Yeah, HALF. No one was messing around during that thing.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Hey, everyone! Look how much Easter I'm having! *Posts all the obnoxious kid and bunny and Easter basket and egg hunt pictures*

— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) March 28, 2016

Do you think Easter is the number 1 holiday for child vehicular barfing?

— Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) March 27, 2016

Easter: Hunt for eggs. Day After Easter: Can't go anywhere without seeing and stepping on plastic egg tops and bottoms.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 28, 2016

One fun part about Easter is how your kids spend the entire day getting jacked up on candy and then you remember it's a school night.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

We covered our backyard in candy-filled Easter eggs. My 1-year-old picked up zero eggs and one piece of dog poop. Money well spent.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2014

"He can't drink the Easter egg dye." Submitted By: Ashley http://pic.twitter.com/SsRvbqaA4k

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) March 28, 2016

When did "Easter crafts" become a thing? What happened to the good old days of putting an egg in all the dye colors & watching it turn ugly?

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 22, 2016

Serious question. When does the Easter Bunny come by to pick up all the kids he just loaded up with candy? #parenting

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 28, 2016

FYI: Talking into a half-eaten hollow chocolate bunny makes your voice louder, in case anyone needs their Easter candy to be more obnoxious

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) March 30, 2016

My kids have figured out every hiding spot I have in this house, so I guess I have no choice but to finish this stash of Easter candy now.

— Ash (@cray_at_home_ma) March 29, 2016

How Easter candy is really made http://pic.twitter.com/EuEJpTSIUz

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) March 27, 2016

A cute and scientific thing I tell my kids is that the Easter Bunny's body would flop around for several minutes after decapitation.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 28, 2017

Pro Tip: Christmas lights can double as Easter lights if *you* leave them up long enough. *we*

— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 7, 2017

4 yr old son: "That Jesus guy came back from the dead and saw all these people? So then he's a zombie?"#Easter

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 27, 2016

5: here's the thing about chocolate: it's delicious. Me: is that it? 5: yes. Me: ok. 5: and I found an Easter egg from last year & ate it.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 2, 2017

Jesus died on the cross so you could put pictures of your kid's Easter basket on Facebook.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 5, 2015

I forgot to post a picture of my kids in their Easter clothes on Facebook yesterday and now DCFS is knocking on my door.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 21, 2014

*Morgan Freeman narrates "Alex thought he'd controlled his demons, but as soon as the Cadbury Easter Eggs went on display, it was all over."

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) January 15, 2017

While we were sleeping, did Easter become Halloween Part 2/Mini-Christmas?? (Some of these baskets, man.)

— Nicole Blades (@NicoleBlades) April 21, 2014

Celebrating Easter by being woke up at 5:15am and letting my kid her weight in chocolate before the sun comes up just like the Lord intended

— Tim (@Playing_Dad) March 27, 2016

[Wipes chocolate from face and brushes candy dust from lap.] I hate those cliche tweets about parents eating all their kids Easter candy.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) March 28, 2016

Hey Gals, don't forget to check Pinterest today for ideas on upcycling your Easter bonnet into an April Fool's Day chapeau.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 30, 2016

People who say “Hoppy Easter!” make me feel like Jesus isn’t risen.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) March 27, 2016

Real text to my husband: "Easter stuff is ready for the attic. But, please, whatever you do, keep the Christmas welcome mat outside okay?"

— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) April 13, 2016

Behind every photo of kids coloring eggs is a parent screaming and threatening to take away Easter.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 27, 2016

My 8yo son asked for a smart phone for Easter. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Everything about that phrase is ridiculous.

— Lady E (@LadyEdotMe) March 6, 2017

The Easter Bunny doesn't talk, so here are the kids awkwardly looking at each other like, What do we do now? http://pic.twitter.com/iTMDTx2VWe

— Aaron Schmidt (@byaaronschmidt) March 26, 2016

What came first? The tantrum over leaving a giant basket of candy at home, or the egg hunt? #Easter

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Bummed Easter is over. Now which candy/gift bestowing mythological creature am I supposed to use to extort good behavior out of my children?

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) April 21, 2014

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://huff.to/2pmklAE

#Healthy Living - The Huffington Post

[thesoilandtheswans]

All

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?9 and a half feet tall so I can tower over my enemies 
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)A Dragon
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?Flannel, sweaters and Hawaiian shirts 
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?Crash Bandicoot and Animal Crossing
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:My girlfriend, school and my friends 
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?"Very shy, approach cautiously"
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?I'll do Catcher in the Rye. Catcher in the Rye is overrated 
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]Melancholic, apparently
9: Are you ticklish?Yes, and my girlfriend likes to exploit that
10: Are you allergic to anything?Nope, I'm like the only one in my family that is not allergic to anything
11: What’s your sexuality?Bisexual
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?Tea and Coffee mostly
13: Are you a cat or dog person?I'm more of a cat person but dogs are also hella rad
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?Can I be a Elven Vampire because I don't care about being a merperson
15: Do you have a favorite Youtube?The people that do Monster Factory
16: How tall are you?5'11"
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?Ulysses Finch (idk)
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]210
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?Idk I'm on the fence honestly 
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?I like both
21: Are you religious?Not really
22: Pet peeves?Ignorant people
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?Nocturnal
24: Favorite constellation?Orion
25: Favorite star?Idk anything about stars
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?What
27: Any phobias or fears?Not being remembered 
28: Do you think global warming is real?Yes I do
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?Yes
30: Favorite movie?Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
31: Do you get scared easily?No
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?Like 10, I had two cats and a dog, and various hamsters, fishes and birds
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]Well I don't know who's asking so I can't rate your blog
34: What is a color that calms you?White, because it reminds me of nothing and just blanks my mind
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?Traveling is a lot of places, like Ireland, New Zealand, Russia, Japan, France, Italy, the list goes on. And I'd like to live up north in the woods
36: Where were you born?Wausau, Wisconsin and that's where I still am
37: What is your eye color?Brown
38: Introvert or extrovert?Introvert 
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?Depends, sometimes they're dumb 
40: Hugs or kisses?Both? Please?
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?My girlfriend and my friends
42: Who is someone you love deeply?My girlfriend
43: Any piercings you want?Yeah, a gauge right through my dick shaft (haha no jk)
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?I want tattoos but piercings do not work for me honestly 
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?I used to smoke in middle school and I quit in Freshman year
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!She is amazingly cute and she makes my heart go ! when I hang out with her
47: What is a sound you really hate?Chalkboard + nails, *shudder*
48: A sound you really love?The various sounds of the woods
49: Can you do a backflip?No
50: Can you do the splits?Haha no
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?Michael Cera
52: Favorite movie?Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Also wasn't this question already asked?
53: How are you feeling right now?Alright
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?I'm good with my natural hair 
55: When did you feel happiest?I feel happiest rn, because my girlfriend just makes my life happy
56: Something that calms you down?Being in the arms of my girlfriend 
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]Not diagnosed, but I'm hella anxious a lot
58: What does your URL mean?It's a combination of two bands, The Soil and the Sun and Swans and I thought it was pretty cool too
59: What three words describe you the most?Shy, Anxious and Romantic
60: Do you believe in evolution?Yeah
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?They're a porn blog, I know the person in real life and they're a shitty person or I don't like what they post
62: What makes you follow a blog?They're my friends in real life or they blog stuff I like
63: Favorite kind of person:The kind that likes me
64: Favorite animal(s):Otters, and other animals like them
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.@star-qirl@dead-relatives@eternalgirlscout
66: Favorite emoticon:🍆
67: Favorite meme:Joe Biden memes 
68: What is your MBTI personality type?INFP
69: What is your star sign?Cancer, I think, I don't know if this is different than my zodiac tbh
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?Not for me he can't because he hates me and he's a little shit
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?Anything with my button up sweater
72: Post a selfie or two?Just look at my profile pic I don't have any more selfies for you
73: Do you have platform shoes?I don't remember what those are, so Idk
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?I got a bee stuck in my eye once
75: Can you do a front flip?No
76: Do you like birds?Sure, for the most part 
77: Do you like to swim?Yeah, I used to swim a lot but I don't as much anymore because I'm insecure about my body, so when I do swim it's with a shirt on
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?I can't ice skate, so swimming
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:The Republican Party
80: Some thing you wish did exist:Space travel so I can travel the galaxy 
81: Piercings you have?I have no piercings 
82: Something you really enjoy doing:Hanging with my friends/ girlfriend
83: Favorite person to talk to:My girlfriend/ my friends
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?"I don't know what I'm supposed to do"
85: How many followers do you have?Like 27 
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?No I'm out of shape and I'm lazy
87: Do your socks always match?Like 95% of the time yeah
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?No
89: What are your birthstones?Ruby
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?A cat because they basically sleep all day and get pet by people so yeah
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?A blue rose (idk about flowers)
92: A store you hate?Uh American Apparel I guess idk
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?I think I've drank like 3 in one day
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?Read minds
95: Do you like to wear camo?No ew
96: Winter or summer?Winter
97: How long can you hold your breath for?Like a minute
98: Least favorite person?This one gal, and she knows who she is. Sad thing is she didn't use to be my least favorite person, she actually was one of my favorite people but she just became shitty
99: Someone you look up to:Justin Vernon and Kurt Vonnegut, because they're what I want to be as a writer
100: A store you love?Barnes and Noble. I've spent hours there and have it feel like it went really quick
101: Favorite type of shoesVans I suppose I don't know much about shoes
102: Where do you live?Wausau, Wisconsin
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?I am not
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?A ruby I guess
105: Do you drink milk?Yes
106: Do you like bugs?Eh I can stand them
107: Do you like spiders?Spiders are creepy 
108: Something you get paranoid about?School
109: Can you draw:Not well
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?"How big is your penis?"
111: A question you hate being asked?Sexual stuff about my girlfriend because it's none of your business, unless I choose to tell you
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?No
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?Yeah it's pretty nice. I don't go to the beach that often though, I live in Wisconsin lol
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?Cloudy, I am a pale boy, the sun burns my skin
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:I'd like to kiss AND cuddle my girlfriend 
116: Favorite cloud type:The ones that look like other things 
117: What color do you wish the sky was?Lavender
118: Do you have freckles?No
119: Favorite thing about a person:Nice ass
120: Fruits or vegetables?Fruits
121: Something you want to do right now:Anything but watch my dad be super loud at the packer game tbh
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?The sky
123: Sweet or sour foods?Both
124: Bright or dim lights?Dim
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?Not particularly no
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:Porn blogs
127: Something you love about Tumblr:Artsy and poetic blogs because they introduce me to new stuff
128: What do you think about the least?I don't know, I don't think about it?
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?"He tried"
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?I don't want to punch anyone in the face, I'm not a violent person
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?My personality
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?Only with trial and tribulations from my mother
133: Computer or TVComputer 
134: Do you like roller coasters?Heck yeah
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?No
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?Lobed
137: Do you believe in karma?Sometimes 
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?A light 5
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?Bungle, Bongo Jim, Bean, Banjo, lots of stuff with Bs
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?No, I don't think so
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?Yeah but it didn't last long, because I don't talk to people I don't know well
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?Good, for the most part
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?Receiving honestly, I'm greedy 
144: What makes you angryIdk not a lot
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?One
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?Boys and Girls
147: Are you androgynous?No
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:My ass TBH , or my eyebrows
149: Favorite thing about your personality:I'm nerdy
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.My girlfriend, anyone of my 8 friends
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?The 20s most likely, I also would go back to the 60s or 80s
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?I can take it or leave it
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]Through the school play
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?No, it's usually romantic
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?Sometimes 
156: What embarrasses you?A lot
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:School 
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:Telling my parents I was somewhere else because they wouldn't like where I really was
159: How many people are you following?Like 200
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?A lot
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?None
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?8,000
163: Last time you cried and why:When this girl told me we weren't really dating. It just fucked with me because I liked her a lot
164: Do you have long or short hair?Long ish
165: Longest your hair has ever been:Idk not that long
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?I'm neutral because I don't like to worship a god that may or may not exist, so I'm just not gonna do that rn
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?Yeah a little because I want to know why we're here 
168: Do you like to wear makeup?I don't usually do that 
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?No
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?For the most part some of them I didn't because I was trying to be funny