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scarlettsandmaroons · 1 year

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she is midnight rain | n. romanoff

about me | series masterlist | natasha romanoff masterlist

pairing: professor!natasha romanoff x collegestudent!reader

chapter one | chapter two: she doesn't think of me

chapter summary: you just learned that your soon-to-be professor is straight up terrible. and in an attempt to drop out of her class, you instead became the target of her humiliation. you just knew you will hate her as she will you.

warnings: evident mommy issues (not really into depth)

a/n: im very excited to write this series (that's a lie, i'm only excited about the smutty parts, the beginning, not so much). will be trying to post an update every other day ꒰ ⸝⸝ɞ̴̶̷ ·̮ ɞ̴̶̷⸝⸝꒱

for all your years in high school, and the very few months you had before college, you didn't have a plan. you didn't know where you wanted to go. you didn't know what you wanted to take. there were too many choices. or maybe there's barely any. you just couldn't choose for yourself, you couldn't decide.

when you don't have a mother or in your case, when you have a mother who chose her boyfriend over you, you don't really have anyone telling you what to do, where to go. and maybe some people would love the same freedom that you had, but with that freedom was misguidance. you had nobody to help you choose, nobody to guide you, to teach you, to tell you what's best for you. you have to decide all that.

but when nobody told you what was best, what was the standard for best, how could you possibly have known. how could a child understand what was best for her when she was taught nothing about the sort.

you didn't know what you wanted, and your best judgement told you to trust in your friend and follow billy maximoff. he was your bestfriend. your other half. the only person you can confide in. you knew that you had to study where he would. you couldn't possibly survive on your own. you needed him to guide you. to tell you what to do. to protect you.

"you're in mrs. romanoff's class."

you were snapped out of your thoughts. you've been staring at the field the entire time. at the massive open field between the campus and the gate. you didn't know how long you've been here, for a moment, you didn't even remember billy being in front of you holding your class schedule.

"y/n, yoo-hoo. are you okay?" billy waved a hand in front of you. "what are you thinking?"

you sighed, "i can't believe i'm in college now and i still don't know what to do." you said, looking over billy's shoulder and getting once again lost in your own head. "how am i going to survive..."

"well, i'll survive." he said proudly, earning back your attention. you almost scowled at him for being a show-off. but he smiled at you. a soft reassuring smile. "i'll survive for the both of us." he said.

your heart fluttered a little. you didn't have a mom. or a dad. or siblings. but you had a family. you had billy.

"i know what i'm going to be. i have a plan. and while you don't have any for yourself, i'll carry you." he says.

you looked at your watch. freshman orientation is in a few, and seeing your attention on the clock sent billy the hint that you both should get going. nevertheless, your conversation didn't end as you both walked into the campus.

"how will you carry me?" you mused, not returning the same sentiment he sent you as you simply humored his words.

he held the straps of his bagpack. "mmmm..." he started thinking, "i'll get a job as soon as we graduate. you can stay with me and my parents until i get my own place which i'd be glad to share with you." he says. "that way, you can finally move out from your mum's house."

"that's... very free-loader of me." you chuckled, visualizing the life you'd share with your friend.

"well, you're my free-loader." he looks at you all giddy. "that's what friends do, right?"

you sighed, "yeah."

billy never had a good relationship with his twin brother, tommy. tommy decided to stay with his father after their parents got a divorce. billy on the other hand, stayed with his mother as she remarried.

you've never met mrs. maximoff's new husband. in fact, it's been a really long time since you'd seen billy's mom. the last time you saw her, she had some sort of a 50s haircut. from what your bestfriend tells you, she went through quite a few hair phases from a shoulder length side part to a long-haired rebonded look. at some point, you know she went crazy and got a full head of tight blonde curls. that was her, "going through a hard time with my husband so i must do something so incredibly different with my hair" hair. she went back to the normal big curls, fluffy airburn hair after she remarried though.

that's how close you were with billy. you were his sister, almost. you knew everything about him. even about his mother's haircuts half of which you're sad you weren't around to see.

"mr. stark's coming by for the orientation, did you know that?"

you looked at billy. "the rich guy who owns stark industries?"

"yeah. he's a friend of my moms and dad's."

"no way?!" you all but gasped. you did coo in shock a bit, looking at him with widened eyes. "damn, it must be nice to be connected to him." you say, your mind going on to imagine what your life would be if you were as rich as him. or even connected to him. then you wouldn't have to think about all the important decisions you need to make.

"he's connected to a lot of the professors here." billy mentions. "mr. rogers, mr. banner, mr. barton. but he's closest to mrs. romanoff. they're best friends." he looks at his watch. "i think he's here for the engineering department though. he's funding them lots."

"mrs. romanoff?" you ask, complete disregarding his following statement.

"he's the reason why mrs. romanoff met my parents." he says.

"i'm in her class right?"

you haven't taken a look at your timetable yet because billy has held onto it since it was given to you. eyeing all the names of your professors and giving you some kind of commentary about them. he knows a lot about them. mrs. maximoff used to be a professor here, and for the entirety of high school, billy frequented this very campus.

"yeah." he scoffed. "good luck."

"why? is she mean?"

"terribly." he says. "she's nice, but as your professor? she'll eat you alive."

you were in two of mrs. romanoff's classes, unfortunately for you. you had her in english literature, and business economics. and until classes had officially begun two days after your orientation, stories of how horrible she is; from how she failed more than half of the total students she's had in her lifetime, to how much she enjoys either suspending, or expelling her students over the littlest inconveniences became the center of all your conversations with billy. for someone who knows a lot about her, you wish he had gotten her instead of you. now the dreading fear of seeing her live up to your horrible expectations of her with you is just crippling.

"i'm dropping out of mrs. romanoff's classes." you blurt out during billy's long monologue of the stories he's heard about the professor.

he looked at you, "no! i didn't mean to scare you." he almost laughs. "she's actually really nice!"

you shot him a sharp glare. if he dares to defend mrs. romanoff after all the stories he's told, then he's better off shutting his mouth.

"yeah, no. too late."

there was a part of you that tugged at the idea of actually doing it. if there were something that stopped you, you would so give into it and drop it. you simply needed to know that you wanted to do—that you can do something about it so you can lie yourself into thinking that you have, this new life of yours, under control. and you were lucky enough to just serve into that purpose as you were unlucky enough to have stumbled upon a wooden door that had mrs. romanoff's name spelled out in gold letters.

natasha romanoff.

billy has been talking this entire time, explaining to you how mrs. romanoff could've been better than what he initially led you to believe. you've been taking mental notes but you haven't really been paying attention, so you only got, "she's the best professor here. constantly commended by the dean himself" and "her class is the hardest to get into. only the best of the best can get into it—"

you heard nothing further as you started fixating on how there was absolutely no way of telling if she was in as the massive window deemed useless with the blinds covering it. despite your efforts in trying to take even the smallest peak inside, no luck.

you can turn away. but you're here now. besides, not knowing whether or not she's in isn't really an inconvenience worth turning away from.

perseverance glinted your eyes. you weren't giving up. you put a hand on the handle, "y/n, no, she—", and you went in without hearing out billy, or even giving the chance for anyone to let you in.

you have to transfer out of her class before you have to go in it. as uncomfortable as this might be, it's this, or a whole year or more worth of wishing you got out when you could.

inside was a woman sitting at the desk just a few steps away from you. it was a relatively average sized room. it wasn't too small. not too cramped. but it wasn't too big either. not too empty. the walls of either sides were bookshelves. the back wall, a massive window overlooking the entire front of the school.

the woman lifted her head to see you, and immediately, you were taken aback by her... beauty. the features that are of the ordinary, but on its entirety, with all of it combined, created this image of the goddess sitting in front of you.

you melted. you pictured her to be an old woman, but now you see why everyone was so intimated by her. her simple gaze, and unmoving disinterest of your presence made you feel so small. to have such a gorgeous woman look at you like you didn't matter, exactly the way that she did you, is so intimidating. so belittling. yet, you were enamored. you were captured by her. she was just simply mesmerizing. satisfying.

she had red hair. massive curls that cascaded down her shoulders as if so intricately placed to look so neat and clean. she had a side part, though, it was barely noticeable as the part was a lot closer to the center than it should be for a side part. her eyes were so brightly... emerald. despite of the shadows created by the light behind her, it stayed so vibrant. like a gem. she had such a beautifully molded nose. and red lips. you wanted nothing else but to stare at her forever.

"i suggest you start saying something now, before this intrusion of yours becomes the reason why your time here ends."

her voice sent chills down your spine. you felt goosebumps. all the hair in your body rose. her voice was so terribly cold. she was composed, and calm. and had not a care in the world, especially you. the way she delivered it with such disinterest, almost in a condescending way made you feel so small. it gave you all the more reason to drop out.

she was looking up at you. her chin was resting at the back of her hand where she had a pen between her fingers.

she made your heart race in fear.

"i'm in your class." you take a deep breath. "i'd like to drop out."

you see the end of her lip twitch almost in amusement when her eyes dropped to the papers on her desk. she fixed her posture and started fixing the mess she had laid out. she did it so painfully slow as if you weren't there. but when she stood up, placing both of her hands on her desk, you knew she wasn't trying to torture you. the way the end of her lip raised into the slightest grin made you realize she was having her fun with you. like one of the students she'd amuse herself with first, embarrass, torture, belittle, before kicking out. almost like you were a toy. one of the many for her.

you gulped.

"tell me, miss y/f/n y/l/n. why do you want to drop out?" she asks, slowly going around her desk before she gestured to a chair in front of it—not to offer you a seat, but to require you to do as she wants, and sit down. "you haven't even seen me in class yet. i doubt you even had the chance to attend your very first class which you will soon miss if you continue to—waste, my, time."

you gulped again. something about the way she stares at you while she walks to the small table by the bookshelf where she had a few glasses and whiskey made your throat dry.

"i heard stories."

"i assure you, miss y/l/n," you flinched a bit when her glass hits the surface of her desk, later followed by her body dropping to her seat in the most elegant way. "whatever you heard is true."

goosebumps again. not good goosebumps. "please let me leave because i want to cry" goosebumps. her eyes were piercing through you, you can't imagine moving. to even relax your shoulder and somehow offending her with the slight movement is such horror for you.

she took a sip from her drink. before letting the glass hang barely by her fingertips as she leans closer to you, her chin resting once again on the back of her hand.

"how old are you?" she asks.

"i just turned 18." you answer quickly as if it would disappoint her if you waited a beat.

"what is something worth knowing about a y/f/n y/l/n?" you didn't notice the way your name rolled off her tongue. you didn't notice she knew your name this entire time. she said it with such grace. never had your name sounded so foreign. so new. so beautiful.

something about her was pulling you in. sucking you into her. and you weren't sure if it was the fear of getting kicked out, or just because of her sheer charms that made you blurt out every thinkable thing about you.

"i'm 18. i just turned 18." you started, taking a deep breath in and calming yourself down when you realized how quick you were talking. "i can't drive for the life of me. i hate milk. i'm plainly unhealthy. i don't drink vitamins. or eat an average amount of nutrients and meals in general. i'm nocturnal, i can't fall asleep at night. i love juice, soda, everything but water. i have a complicated relationship with my hair. i..." the realization stunned you. the realization that you were sitting in the office of who you heard was the strictest professor in this very university, telling her about the most absurd, uninteresting things about you, when you might just be on the very verge of getting kicked out of your bestfriend's dream university.

you calmed yourself down. you tried to rid yourself of the panic you resorted to burying deep deep down, you fixed your posture, cleared your throat, and in the most modulated voice that you can harness within yourself, you said, "i am ambitious, strong, independent—" that's a lie. "bright, optimistic, and persistent. and i really want to have the opportunity to begin my year in this university—" hopefully not in your class. "because i know that i have the exact amount of wit, and dedication this school is looking for in a student." i don't want to be in your class. "if given the opportunity to... in a different class wherein i can flourish."

"well," she says as if impressed. you stood up when she did, giving her a hopeful expression like that's going to boost your chances of getting out of her class without suffering the grave consequences she's known to give.

she moved around the table again, this time, moving slowly towards you. step by step. closer each passing second. and when the two of you were finally faced to face with each other without the desk between you, her small smirk dropped. "no." she says in a way that showed you how amused she was of putting your efforts of coming in here to waste without sounding anywhere besides stern.

"what?"

"i said no."

"no, what?" at this point, you were in distress. but you tried your best to hide it. you weren't very successful though. your voice raised, though you all but shouted.

her left hand rested on the surface of her desk when she leaned her hip against it, tipping her head slightly to the side, "look, miss y/l/n, i did not just waste all this time getting to know you and your... habits, just for you to drop out of my class."

her tone was unkind. she was cold, and stern. and she wanted nothing but to get her way. your attempts gave her mere amusement. she didn't acknowledge you, or your request, she just wanted to see the way your face would contort in shock when she declines you after letting you think your efforts would get you anywhere.

"but, mrs. romanoff—"

"BUT...! miss y/l/n—" she didn't shout, but the way she said it, the way her voice raised. you wanted to crawl into a cave and cry. especially with the way her eyes lingered on a little too long on yours before she looked away and returned to her seat. "i could so easily penalize you for entering my office with no permission." her tone was mad. graceful, elegant. calm and collected. but mad. "i would have you suspended if i didn't appreciate your... attempt, to even come inside my office, to speak to me and look me straight in the eye requesting me for something... you're gutsy. you could've used that in my class instead."

you weren't going to win.

today, you realized, that mrs. romanoff will always have the power. and if you can't handle that, then you're better of leaving the school.

she's dreadful. she's dark. she's the storm that angers the seas. and the rain at midnight. she is going to potentially ruin your chances of succeeding in this university—in life, and you will... hate her as you are now definitely sure she will you.

"i'll see you later."

you did see her later. a blissful 2 hours without her was replaced by dread when the moment you sat on the very back of the lecture hall, she came in. everyone stood before her, as if it were highschool, and you just went with it. just a mere clack of her high heeled shoes had everyone on their feet, their hands on their chest as if she was a goddess to be worshiped.

"good morning, everyone."

nobody spoke, it was mere silence after a beat of her greeting in which she gestured everyone to sit. you hid behind a tall man. the lecture hall was packed. although, there were a few empty seats up front.

"i'd like to begin today with..." she didn't have much with her. she only had a clipboard which she places on her desk. she took quite a while adjusting. but when she did; when she was leaning back on her seat, her legs elegantly crossed, where her hands rested on her knee, she looked straight ahead. and for a moment, you thought you can feel her eyes boring through the people you're hiding behind of and staring at you. "i have absolutely zero tolerance for any of your bullshit." all the calmness of her tone before was replaced by a sheer sharpness. "you either do as i say, exactly as i say it, or you leave this classroom. better yet, this school. are we clear?" she was stern. and you were scared. "now," she says with an exhale. "you at the back," you froze. "are we clear with that?"

#ath: natasha romanoff #ath: natasha romanoff series (wasn't midnight rain)#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel fanfic #mcu #mcu fanfic #mcu imagine

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strangersteddierthings · 9 months

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Steve, Gareth and Chrissy are cousins AU (sad edition) [prologue] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Final Part]

"So," Robin says after they clink their molotov cocktails together, "do we also get to talk about the whole cousin situation now?"

Steve looks across the field, where Eddie and Dustin are defending themselves from invisible enemies. Gareth and Lucas are swinging the finished spears at each other while Erica shakes her head at them, working on a third. It looks like Nancy is showing Max the proper way to hold a shotgun, which isn't nearly as bizarre as it probably should be.

"What's there to talk about?"

"Are you doing okay?" Robin asks.

Steve doesn't mean to making a scoffing noise. It just leaves his body involuntarily. "No. But I'm not the only one not doing okay. Now that we know Vecna doesn't have to do the whole weeklong build up to murder town, that he could get any of us, as any time and he's just being a sadistic bastard-"

"Steve. He'll take the bait. If nothing else, we have to believe that."

Steve looks from Max to Gareth, then back to Robin. "Yeah. Right."

Robin is quiet for a moment, before her eyes flick away and back to him again. "Do you want to talk to Gareth? He was... God, Steve, it was awful, hearing him scream for you. While Vecna was... Anyway, I know you two are like avoiding each other for whatever reason, but I think you can let go of whatever it was."

"I just wanted to keep them safe, Robbie," Steve swallows down the sob that wants to break free. "I never wanted them involved in this. I was so scared that I'd somehow infect them with the Upside Down that I just kept them away and it took Chrissy anyway. It-it-"

"It hasn't taken Gareth, though," Robin says softly, cutting Steve's spiral off. "It hasn't taken him. But he needs you. I think you need him, too. You should talk. Before we drop him at the Creel house. Because."

She doesn't finish, but that's fine. Steve knows what she's saying. They could die today. Any one of them. Chrissy died without Steve making it right. He'd started to work on hanging out with Chrissy again, but it was all surface level. He didn't even apologize. With Gareth he could justify, however shitty that was to do, that he was staying away because Gareth asked him to.

Chrissy hadn't asked for Steve to step out of her life. He'd done that himself in '83.

He can't do right by Chrissy anymore, but he can try with Gareth.

He stands and Robin gives his knee two solid pats before he walks away.

"Dustin, you piss off Steve somehow?" Eddie asks.

Gareth, in the middle of facing off with Lucas, pauses to look around, which gains him a light tap to his side by Lucas' spear. Sure enough, Steve is stalking their direction with a grim determination on his face.

"What, why am I the one getting the blame?" Dustin says, offended.

"It is usually you," Lucas adds, which earns him a squawk of indignation from Dustin, who shoots back, "he could be coming to lecture you for making Erica do all the spear making!"

Steve doesn't approach either boy, though.

"Hey, can we talk?" Steve asks once he comes to a stop in front of him.

"Got some end of the world regrets, Harrington?" Gareth says, trying to keep his voice lighter than he feels. He wants to tease Steve, not bully him.

He must succeed because Steve gives a chuckle and says, "I don't think we have time for all the end of the world regrets, so, uhh, just the one for now."

"We're cool, dude," Gareth says, eyes flicking from Steve to Eddie. The kids know, Gareth told them himself, but Eddie doesn't. "I started it."

"Yeah, but I graduated and still pretended you didn't exist. Which isn't what you asked for."

Gareth shrugs, because he doesn't know everything but he knows enough. Learned this isn't anyone else's (besides Eddie and his) first rodeo or whatever. That there have been other times, dating back to the year Will Byers was lost for a week. "Dude. Seriously. We're cool. You've been dealing with... whatever the fuck this is. So, just, like promise to be around more once we all survive this."

Steve looks pained but before he can reply, Eddie cuts in, "I'm sorry. How do you know each other?"

Gareth looks to Steve, who just shrugs as if to say your friend, you responsibility and honestly? Fuck Steve Harrington. Keeps traumatizing secrets and pushes Gareth away and also throws him to the wolves. Except, this is the secret Gareth has been keeping from Eddie. He sighs and turns to Eddie. "Well, uh, Steve's my cousin. We used to be super close before I started high school. Actually, Steve here is the reason I joined Hellfire!"

Eddie seems to go through all 7 stages of grief before settling into a confused. "I'm sorry. Steve talked you into joining Hellfire?"

"That is not what I did!" Steve defends himself.

"God no. He just went into great detail about how loud and obnoxious and attention-grabbing the current president was, as if that would make me want to not meet you for some reason."

"It was a warning!" Steve yelps at the same time Eddie sing-songs, "You think I'm attention-grabbing, Harrington?"

Dustin, Lucas, and Erica are all laughing at Steve has he tries to sputter through what he meant by attention-grabbing ("It's hard to not pay attention when he's shouting from the top of a lunch table!"), and Gareth just watches on, amused.

After they fight an... evil wizard? Vecna or whatever his name is. Once this is over, Gareth is going to sit Steve down and make him tell him everything, but that can wait.

He wants to watch Steve flounder trying to defend himself from the accusations of watching Eddie just a bit too much back in high school.

Later, as they all pack up and load up in the RV, Nancy stops Steve from entering the RV, ushering everyone past until Gareth and Steve are the only ones left outside.

"Are we acknowledging that you're cousins, now?" she asks.

"You knew!?" Steve sounds surprised. Gareth's surprised, too.

Nancy just rolls her eyes. "Steve, I've been to your house." When that just makes Steve look confused, she rolls her eyes and says, "there are family pictures covering almost every inch of your living room."

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Robin pipes in, appearing in the doorway with an angry expression.

"It wasn't really my thing to talk about, was it?"

"Yeah, but did you even check in with Steve? If you knew, and knew what happened to Chrissy- you didn't even ask if he wanted to go to the funeral!"

"Robin!" Steve hisses.

Nancy doesn't look upset by whatever accusation Robin seems to be trying to make. "If Steve wanted to go, he could have said something. We aren't his keepers. But, also," her gaze goes from Robin to Steve, "I didn't want to pry or seem pushy. I figured you'd tell us when you were ready."

Robin frowns but doesn't say anything else, disappearing back into the RV. Gareth gestures for Steve and Nancy to go first, and then he's closing and locking the door behind him before heading to sit by Eddie along the back bench seat. A bunch of shit has been piled there, so Gareth shoves it off the seat and to the floor. The pile of things ends up being a hazard and he almost brains himself while turning to sit down; something under his foot slides and Eddie saves him, yanking him to fall onto Eddie. After some fussing and laughter from those around, Gareth gets seated and looks down to see what almost killed him.

It's a phone book.

Eddie leans in close once they're back on the road to town to whisper, "so, you just let me go on all those rants about King Steve and never once thought to tell me you were related?"

Gareth just gives him his best impression of a King Steve smirk and says, "I would have hate to have deterred you from talking about your favorite school subject."

It's worth seeing the scandalized look on Eddie's face, even as the man socks him in the leg for the comment. "I hate you, man."

Gareth rubs his leg and says, "you don't mean that."

There's a long silence from Eddie after that before he says, "you're right. I don't mean that. And. Uh. In case I don't- in case it goes south down there but ends up fine up here, I just-"

"No," Gareth growls. "Fuck you, Eddie. We're going to be fine. All you gotta do is shred on your guitar and get the hell out. You're going to be fine."

"You didn't see the bats."

"Eddie."

"Fine. It's gonna be fine," Eddie agrees and falls silent.

Gareth frowns at that. Eddie must really be worried, to not argue back like he usually does. Gareth's worried, too, but what can he do?

He thinks about his mom. When did he last tell her he loves her? If they don't succeed tonight, will he get a chance to say it again? Will anyone get a chance to say it again?

Gareth looks down at the phone book at his feet.

"Wait, does anyone have change for a payphone?" Gareth asks from somewhere behind him. Steve turns in his seat to look into the back of the RV.

"Uh, yeah," Robin digs into her pockets, but then narrows her eyes at Gareth and asks, "wait. Who are you calling?"

"I have to let my mom know I'm alive. Just... hear my voice," Gareth says. "She needs to know I'm okay. It's already been too long since last we talked and... after Chrissy she was..."

Robin's face drops into the guiltiest look Steve's ever seen on her face and she produces her wallet, dropping the whole thing into Gareth's open hand. "Yeah, no. Sorry. There's still plenty of time for a phone call before the end of the world. You better return my wallet, Cunningham."

"I'm not going to rob you, Buckley," Gareth says before ducking out the RV with Max, Lucas, and Erica.

Steve tries not to let the guilt well up in him as they drive away. Gareth had wanted to come with Team Kill Vecna but Steve had quickly argued against that. He wasn't going to let Gareth anywhere near the Upside Down.

So it was decided. Max, Lucas, Erica, and Gareth at the Creel house, Dustin and Eddie on distraction, and Nancy, Robin, and Steve were going to face down Vecna.

There was still hours to go before they'd try, with a time set for 9:20ish, since that's the time Vecna's been enacting his curse according to Eddie's broken watch. Plenty of time to fortify Eddie's house in the Upside Down, plus the almost 40 minute walk to the Creel house from Forest Hills.

This was going to work. It had to.

Max and Lucas opt for hiding around the back of the house, waiting for time to pass until it's closer to dark, and Erica said she was going to snoop around the abandoned playground, so Gareth decided to head to the payphone a couple of blocks down the street.

He makes it halfway there before Erica scares the shit out of him by saying, "why do you need a phone book?"

Gareth yelps and spins, stupidly trying to hid the book behind his back even though he knows she already saw it. "I- uh, no. No reason."

Erica eyes him and he's suddenly very aware of whatever Eddie saw in her that night at Hellfire, that let her join the club. She's pretty scary for a middle schooler. "Do I look stupid? Who are you calling." It's not a question. It's a demand.

"I'm going to try and get a hold of Eddie's uncle," Gareth answers, trying to sound like an authority figure. "Tell him he'll find Eddie at his home at eight tonight. I know you all are so used to not telling people but this is- we need a real adult and Wayne's an army vet. He'll know how to help. He'll want to help."

She purses her lips, stays quiet for a moment before she nods. "I'm usually surrounded by stupid people, but you're kind of not one. I've got more change if you need it."

Gareth calls the plant and asks to speak to Wayne Munson. It's a bit of back and forth before the secretary agrees, but only if Wayne agrees to speak to a Gareth Cunningham. The plant must be getting calls from angry locals.

"Are ya really Gareth, or are ya just wantin' ta yell at me for helpin' raise the devil incarnate?" Wayne sounds tired and Gareth feels bad for him.

"Eddie would love for you to call him that to his face when you see him again."

"Thank God, son," Wayne sounds relieved. He must recognize Gareth's voice. "Ya okay? No one's harrassin' ya, are they?"

"No. Listen Wayne, I'm going to say something crazy but please just listen and do your best to be casual. I know where Eddie is. Or, where he will be at eight tonight. He's.... not physically hurt but he's going to need you. He might hate me for telling you this but I had to."

There is a pause where all he hears through the phone is a long inhale followed by a slow exhale. "Mmm hmm. I appreciate yer concern and glad ta hear no one's botherin' ya just for knowin' Eddie."

Gareth is only confused for a moment before he realizes Wayne is trying to make this conversation sound routine from his end. "Just. He's going home. But please don't show up until after eight. If you... if you beat him home he might run. Try to keep you out of this, y'know?" Gareth is just lying now, but he's a teenage boy in a garage band that plays in a dingy bar at the edge of town. That is to say, he knows how to lie off the cuff.

"I read ya loud and clear. I'll let ya know as soon as Eddie's been found safe so ya can quit worryin'. I gotta get back to it, but thanks for reachin' out."

Gareth hangs up and looks to Erica. "Well. Let's hope I haven't ruined everything."

"Let's hope that you know Wayne as well as you think you do."

#steve‚ gareth‚ and chrissy are cousins au #my fic #everyone is like “wE cAnT tElL aNyOnE wHaT wE aRe DoInG” and gareth is like “i think u are all stupid and also i havent signed an nda and #i know what my best friend looks like when he needs support and since yall wont let ME go with to kill vecna for revenge for chrissy #(thanks no thanks STEVE) im going to sick eddie's uncle on you" and i think that's very smart of him #gareth has zero issues asking for help when he thinks everyone he loves could DIE

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cozy-the-overlord · 7 months

Text

Free Fall

Summary: Tony Stark arranges for an Avengers Teambuilding Day at a local amusement park. Loki had been hoping to avoid it -- he's had enough thrills to last a lifetime, he has no desire to seek out more -- but you and your endearing enthusiasm for roller coasters convince him to come along. However, the free fall drop tower you start out with turns out to be a bit more thrilling than he bargained for.

Word Count: 3,482

Pairing: Loki x Gender Neutral Reader

A/N: Drags self out of the grave and awkwardly waves

So it's been a minute since I posted lol. Those of you who follow may be aware that I recently graduated from college with the Final Semester From Hell that involved my computer hard drive dying on me in class and causing me to lose not only forty pages of my honors thesis two weeks before it was due, but also almost every WIP I had been working on in the past four years because I am an idiot who chronically forgets to back things up :D I did make it through college, but between stress, burnout, depression, and the death of any motivation to work on anything because of having to restart from the beginning for all of my projects, I went a while without writing anything. But I'm slowly getting back into it -- I have several projects in the works and I'm hoping to get back to posting more regularly. This fic was a short piece that I had started prior to the computer death that I had a lot of physical notes on so they weren't lost when my hard drive decided to yeet itself into the sun. I'm not entirely happy with it, but honestly it feels so good to finally finish something that I don't care.

Anyways, sorry for the obnoxious A/N. Thank you so much for reading!

Warnings: PTSD, flashbacks, panic attack, a bit of motion sickness?

Tags: @lucywrites02 @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @the-emo-asgardian @imnotrevealingmyname @electroma89 @lokislittlesigyn @moumouton4 @theredrenard @justdontmindmetm @lostgreekgod @naterson

If you want to be tagged, feel free to send an ask/message :) (I also realize that this taglist is Old so if I need to update it please let me know)

Read it on Ao3!

Standing in the shadow of the great tower, heart thudding in his throat, Loki is suddenly aware that he’s made an enormous mistake.

Next to him, Stark whistles. “This is what you usually start with?”

You grin up at the spire, a massive construction of electric green cutting through the cloudless sky. Two elevators, one on either side, are creeping slowly up the length of the tower. They linger at the top for just a moment before plunging back down to Earth, their occupants screaming. Loki feels ill just watching, but you’re practically vibrating in place. “It’s good to get the blood pumping.”

He can’t bring himself to look at you.

It’s your fault that he’s here. Loki hadn’t planned to come today at all. A day spent outside in the sweltering summer sun, following Stark’s gaggle of misfits onto various machines designed to fling mortals from side to side to simulate the feeling of a near death experience? Loki couldn’t imagine anything more torturous. Thor’s begging and cajoling received nothing in response. No, he hadn’t the slightest intention of coming today, not until last night, when he came across you restocking the main refrigerator.

“Are you excited for tomorrow?” you had asked as you arranged rows of Red Bull on the top shelf. “I can’t wait to take you guys around Rapid Rails—I’ve been begging Mr. Stark to do a teambuilding day there ever since he hired me.”

Your eagerness caught him off guard— as Stark’s personal assistant, you had been present at all of his godforsaken teambuilding events, but Loki had never known you to be particularly excited about any of them. “I … I wasn’t aware you had such an attachment to it.”

“Oh yeah—I grew up just down the street from there!” You beamed at him, breaking down the cardboard box you had used to carry the cans. “We used to have season passes – they were way cheaper when I was a kid – and we’d just go there to hang out all the time. Gosh it was so fun. And now I get to go for work!” You let out a merry laugh. “I guess some things never change, right?”

Loki huffed a soft chuckle. He had never seen you like this before, practically bubbling over in excitement. It was … rather endearing. “I suppose not.”

“You are coming, right? Thor said you hadn’t made up your mind yet.”

Were the circumstances different, Loki might have scoffed. Hadn’t made up your mind yet—Norns, his brother lived in denial. Instead though, he hesitated. “I … I’m afraid I hadn’t planned on it.”

“Really?” The way your face fell actually hurt his chest. “Why not?”

“I—” He glanced away, pressing his lips together. “I’m not sure I’m one for your roller coasters,” he said, finally. “You’d likely have a better time without me there.” It was an attempt at lightheartedness, but you only seemed more disappointed.

“Oh, that’s not true at all! I was really looking forward to—” you stopped suddenly, and when Loki looked up again, you were biting your lip with a nervous laugh. “I mean, it would be really fun if you came with us. But it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“I suppose I could come, if you so desire.” He hoped he sounded nonchalantly cool, and that you couldn’t see the way his heart fluttered at the idea that you might want him there. “I wouldn’t wish to let you down.”

“Oh, I mean—” You looked away, the light from the refrigerator silhouetting your frame. “I don’t want to force you, if you don’t want to. You shouldn’t do it just for me.”

“No, I …” He inhaled, then smiled. “I think I would like to join you.”

And so here he is, at the base of this great metal monstrosity, intently studying the sign outside of the line entrance to avoid Thor’s knowing smirk. His brother has never worn self-satisfaction well.

DEATH DROP: THE TALLEST AND FASTEST DROP TOWER ON THE EAST COAST

The description is illustrated with a photograph of two people strapped to their seats, mouths wide in mid-scream as their hair flies every which way. Loki lets out a shaky exhale as he reads. The tower, it claims, is 400 feet tall. It reaches top speeds of 85 miles per hour. The ride itself lasts about 90 seconds in total. The measuring stand besides the entrance indicates that participants must be at least 48 inches tall.

400 feet. That doesn’t sound too terrible, he tells himself. The concept of a foot as a unit of measurement is still something he struggles to wrap his head around, but he knows that Stark Tower stands at over a thousand. So that’s not too bad. 400 feet would be a drop in the bucket, really, compared to …

No. He pushes the thought down, back into the dark recesses of his memory. None of that. Not today.

Stark smirks at him. “You’re looking green, Tommy Wiseau.”

Loki swallows, straining to maintain his stiff mask of composure. It’s bad enough to have Stark reveling in his discomfort, but now you’re looking over at him too, brow furrowed in concern, and he wishes he could melt away on the spot. “I’m quite fine.”

“Of course he is!” Thor booms, slapping his shoulder with a hearty thwack that does nothing for Loki’s stomach. “We’ve fallen from much higher heights, haven’t we, brother?”

Weightless. Breathless. Engulfed by inky nothingness, the air so thin he can’t even scream —

Loki’s smile hurts. “Yes, very true.”

“You don’t have to go, Loki,” you interject. “It’s totally okay— I have friends who love roller coasters and refuse to touch this ride. It’s a lot.”

He knows you mean it as reassurance, but he can’t stand the way you’re looking at him, as if he were a frightened child, too fragile to be brought along. Are you regretting having convinced him to change his mind? Do you feel that he’s only holding you back? Somehow, the idea that you no longer want him here is almost as sickening as the thought of the fall.

Loki huffs a breath. No. He will prove himself worthy of your coaster. “I assure you, I am fine.” His voice is more strained than he’d prefer it to be. “Let’s get on with it, shall we?”

…

The attendant seems rather starstruck as he ushers the group onto the ride—he stumbles and stammers through the explanation of the seating arrangements and the harness. Loki’s not really listening as he follows you to the left side of the cart, trying not to ignore the buzzing that seems to be settling behind his ears.

You smile up at him. “Would you rather sit on the side or in the middle?”

He frowns. “Does it make a difference?”

“Well, personally I don’t think so, but I know some people who get scared of heights think it’s easier to sit in the middle.”

“I’m not scared of heights.” The words come out far too quickly to sound believable, and he curses inwardly at himself. “I can sit on the side.”

“Are you sure?” You eye him uncertainly. “It’s okay if you—"

“I’m quite capable of managing such a seat.” He sits before you have the chance to question him again.

The seat is rather tight—Loki wonders if that’s intentional, or if it’s simply built with a smaller frame in mind. In the cart off to the right, he can hear Thor fumbling about with the attendant, and he chuckles despite himself. If he’s finding it to be a bit of a squeeze, he can’t imagine the troubles his bulky brother must be having.

It’s a momentary reprieve from his darker thoughts, and Loki is actually smiling when you warn him to sit back against the seat.

“The harness is going to be coming down soon.”

“What?”

You motion to the contraption above the cart, two plastic green masses shaped like upside down u’s that hover above your heads like the top of a clam shell. “It sits over you and keeps you from flying out of the cart.” You let out a small laugh. “It’s like the harnesses on the Quinjets, but way less cool. They also have little handles that you can hold on to if you want.”

Loki is eyeing the harnesses uncertainly. “What do you mean they’ll be coming down soon?”

“You used to have to pull it down yourself, but they have it all programmed now.” A great mechanical creak cracks through the air, and you press yourself against the back of the seat. “Oh, here it comes now!”

He frowns, mimicking your movement to sit as far back as he can. The green restraint descends slowly over his head, with a metallic groan that does not give him much faith in the construction of this monstrosity. He expects it to stop once it was hovering over his torso, but it continues until it’s pressed snuggly against his chest, pinning him to the seat. The attendant is saying something over the intercom, but Loki barely registers it over the feeling of the restraint. It’s … it’s not a painful sensation, but the firmness with which it holds … he’s been restrained before. Little flames of memory spark in the corners of his mind, flames he can’t seem to douse no matter how hard he tries.

Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

He gives an apprehensive tug on the metal handles that now rest on either shoulder, a tug which quickly turns into a hard yank. The harness does not move. His mouth has gone dry.

“Loki?” you’re frowning at him, your head only barely visible through your own harness. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You’re not bothered by the restraint. Of course you aren’t—how many times did you say you’ve ridden this ride? It’s fine. It’s fine. Goodness, what must you think of him, seeing him panic over the safety harness that you’ve worn hundreds of times before for fun? He nods his head, shaking away the feelings and memories and emotions and all the other thoughts that he wishes he could just wash down the drain …

“Are you sure—?”

“Perfectly,” he spits, but it comes out more snappishly than he intended, and you recoil with a look on your face that makes him despise himself.

I shouldn’t be allowed to speak.

“And enjoy your ride!” the attendant finishes with a flourish, and the thick metal cranking is all the warning you get before the cart begins to lift off from the ground. Loki’s heart jumps to his throat, pounding so fast he can’t make out the separate beats.

“This part is the scariest bit,” you yell at him over the grinding of machinery. “The anticipation kills me!”

Loki inhales. The elevator continues to rise, inching up slowly along the spire, the ground beneath their feet melting into miniature. This is alright, he tells himself. If this is the worst part of the experience, then he’ll be just fine. There’s nothing particularly frightening about it—he spoke the truth when he told you that he had never been bothered by heights. It’s all perfectly fine.

Perfectly. Fine.

Norns, they’re still going up. He risks a glance at the track above him—surely they must be close now? The movement makes him queasy, and he quickly turns back to face straight ahead. His knuckles are white from clutching the handles. The harness is digging into his chest and it takes all of his self-control not to rip it off. The elevator stutters—is this it? His breath catches, but no, they’re still going up. They seem to be slowing down though, don’t they? Or is that only his imagination?

I’m going to be ill.

They’ve stopped. That’s not in his head. Everything seems frozen in place. Why did he agree to do this? Loki presses his eyes closed. Any moment now. Any moment …

Still nothing.

His chest aches. He may have forgotten to breathe. Why have they stopped? Is something wrong? Loki turns to you—you look ecstatic, eyes crinkled with elation, mouth wide in an open grin.

“When is it going to—”

You drop.

The world goes silent. He feels it, that awful sensation in his stomach as the line goes slack and colors rush before his eyes in a blur until it all fades to darkness, airlessness, weightlessness, his lungs burning and drowning on the empty void of space—he’s falling, he’s falling again, he’s falling again oh please Norns not again—

There’s ground beneath his feet. He’s not sure where it came from. His knuckles ache. You’re talking – to him? He’s not sure, he only barely can make out your voice …

“Loki? The harness is coming up. Can you let go?”

He’s still clinging to the handles. Can he let go? He’s not sure. His body feels like lead. He pries his fingers from the metal tube and the pressure against his chest vanishes with a woosh over his head.

“There you go.” Your voice is soft, encouraging, closer than he remembered. He looks up to find you kneeling on the ground before him. You flash a nervous smile. “You alright?”

He’s not sure what to say. His instinct is to apologize, insist that yes, of course, he’s quite alright, he didn’t mean to give any impression to the contrary, everything is fine, but the words catch in his throat.

stars melting together smothering his last breath

Loki lets out a shuddering breath, settles for a nod.

“What’s the hold-up?” Stark calls out. “Barton and Romanov are waiting with the kids on the other side of the park.”

“We’re just taking a break for a minute!” Your reply is hurried. “You guys can go on, we’ll meet you there.”

“Is something wrong?” Thor sounds concerned, and—oh great—now both him and Stark are walking over to their cart. “Loki? What happened?”

“I—” But words, so often his steadfast ally, seem to be failing him right now. What happened? He has no answer; at least, none that his brother would accept. For nothing had happened, not really, and yet that was enough to send him spiraling through the fabric of reality.

He hates this. He hates feeling so weak.

Stark is chuckling. “If I knew that this was all it took to shut him up, I would have rented this place out sooner—”

Enough.

Loki forces himself to stand – far too quickly, his stomach churns at the movement, but he swallows the bile in his throat. He needs to get away. It doesn’t matter how, but he needs to not be with them. Besides him, you scramble to your feet too.

“I’m well.” His voice doesn’t sound right—it feels foreign, and thick like syrup, nothing like his own. “You may go on without me.”

“Are you certain?” Thor is frowning. “We can wait—”

Please don’t.

“I’m certain. I just need to sit for a moment.”

“There’s a bench nearby!” You’ve taken on the same cheery inflection typical of your working voice, and it adds a sense of normalcy to a distinctly abnormal situation. He’s grateful for it. “I can show you where!”

Both Stark and his brother seem reluctant to leave, but you insist that it’s fine. “I’ll call you if anything changes.”

He feels slightly steadier as he follows you to the bench—it’s just a wooden thing on the side of the concrete path, across from what appears to be a diner of some sort. You mumble something about going to get water. It’s a relief when you turn away, so you don’t see how he collapses against the seat.

There’s ground beneath his feet. Loki closes his eyes, focuses on that. There’s ground beneath my feet. The asphalt is firm, hot with the summer sun, anchoring him to reality. He lets out a breath. It feels safe.

Unless, of course, it crumbles beneath your step and flings you back into the abyss –

“Hey.” He jerks up at the sound of your voice, and the suddenness causes you to jump as well. You shift apologetically, standing in front of him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Loki swallows. How did he not hear you come up? “You didn’t.” Although it must be obvious that you did. At least you’re kind enough to allow him the lie.

You offer him a plastic cup. It’s a flimsy thing, but quite cold, relieving against his feverish skin. He takes it with a mumbled thanks, pretending he doesn’t notice how you’re studying him with a quiet sort of concern.

“Are you feeling better?” you ask after a moment.

Loki bites down on the inside of his cheek, relishing the way it stings. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just – I mean – ” you glance down, tugging at your shirt sleeve. “I get panic attacks too.”

“I don’t—” But he stops himself, stops the urge to argue. Gives a gentle nod instead. “I’m well, thank you. I just … I need a moment to catch my breath.”

“I’m sorry …” You look away guiltily. “Death Drop is kind of a lot – we shouldn’t have done that first.”

“It’s not that. I –” He wants to explain to you. He wants you to know that he’s not usually like this—he never used to be like this, he’s strong and steady and perfectly capable of anything you could ask of him, but his voice is failing once again. Loki huffs a sigh. “You ought to go on with the others. I don’t wish to ruin your day.”

“Oh, you haven’t ruined anything. I’ve been on every ride in this park about a million times. It’s fine!” Your voice is bubbly and light as you sit down next to him on the bench. There’s something oddly comforting about the sound. “Besides, it’s bad etiquette to leave a friend by themselves at an amusement park. Buddy system and all that.”

A friend. He can only stare at you.

You falter. “Unless … unless you’d rather I left?”

“No—” Loki surprises himself with how quickly he answers. “No, I’d rather you didn’t.”

Several minutes pass in silence, the frantic beating of his heart slowly tapering off into something softer as he drinks in your presence. He’s grateful for it, grateful for how you let him soak in the quiet. Thor would never have allowed him such a moment’s peace.

He’s considering asking if you’re sure you don’t want to go on any other coasters (he feels guilty for keeping you here—perhaps he can accompany you through the queue and wait on the ground?) when you suddenly sit up stock-straight. “Oh!”

Loki frowns. “Is something wrong?”

You turn to him with a wide grin. “I just remembered they have Dole Whip here!”

“They—what kind of whip?” What sort of ride would a whip be, he wonders? A human sized slingshot, perhaps? His stomach lurches at the thought.

Luckily though, he’s proved wrong. “Dole Whip!” you giggle. “It’s like ice cream, but fruit flavored. Like there’s pineapple and strawberry and whatnot—it’s like soft serve.” You look at him with a kind of hopeful excitement. “Do you want to try some?”

Loki hums. He has yet to try soft serve ice cream, but he knows his brother practically swears by the stuff. “Is it good?”

“Supposedly. I’ve actually never tried it— we never wanted to spend money on park food when we would come as kids. It’s stupid expensive.” You smirk. “But today’s all on Mr. Stark’s dime, so…”

He chuckles. “And you would take advantage of your employer in such a fashion? I didn’t realize I had such a Machiavellian on my hands.”

“Hey, I’m just taking advantage of the opportunities presented to me!” You stand with a grin, holding your hands up in a mock surrender pose. “You can’t blame me for that, can you?”

“Oh, I’d never,” he teases as he stands, and he’s relieved to find that his legs have regained their steadiness. “I’d be honored to experience this Dole Whip with you on Stark’s expense.”

“Fantastic,” you beam. “It’s not too far from here. And it’s right next to a bunch of these little shops—they have this ridiculous giant sea monster toy that costs like $300, I can show you—”

You continue on as the both of you walk down the path, telling him all about the park’s various hidden gems and the inside jokes you and your friends have concocted around them, and Loki finds himself laughing more than not—he can’t help it, your giggles are just too infectious.

Huh. Perhaps joining you today wasn’t a mistake after all.

#loki x reader #loki fluff #loki fanfic #hurt/comfort #loki marvel #free fall #cozy writes

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keshetchai · 3 months

Note

Greetings Friend,

I hope you can help me

How did you go about learning Hebrew? As in what resources, classes, books etc. did you use to get a handle on the language?

I really struggle with languages, so I was hoping you had some advice or tips.

As a bit of background, I am currently a conversion student, going on almost 2.5 years now. I have long since completed the formal learning requirement with my synagogue (conservative) and according to my rabbis, I am free to attend the Beit Din and Mikvah whenever I so choose.

I know my neshama is Jewish, I know this is who I am/supposed to be. I know because of some unusual childhood experiences, and then when I started converting most aspects of the learning and practices came so naturally (granted nowhere near an orthodox level of observance, which isn’t necessarily the goal at this time, but certainly not something I am opposed to perusing) except for the languages.

As previously stated my rabbis say it is okay but something is holding me back from taking that final plunge (lol), and I believe it’s the language.

I still bench in English, and find it really stressful to attend services because I can barely muddle my way around the liturgy, or songs during a Shabbat dinner.

Of course this is just a personal hang up, and absolutely no criticism or shame on anyone else who converted without knowing/knowing very little of the language. Just, for some reason it just doesn’t feel right. I cannot bring myself to say I am actually a member of this wonderful, beautiful tribe before I have overcome this hurdle.

So… any advice?

A few answers for you, the first is most important:

Very Early On in my studying, one of the two rabbis at my synagogue wasn't leading and so she sat in the back, and I decided to sit next to her because i was still finding my footing in the basic service.

And at one point, it may have been for mi hamocha, the cantor starts with a NEW tune I don't know, and I'm still relying on the transliteration entirely and was still trying to memorize the FIRST tune.

And my rabbi leans over and whispers to me: "I have never heard this tune before in my life either."

And the anxiety broke, then. I didn't know this version for the song already and I was lost. But the rabbi sitting next to me also didn't know this tune.

Being Jewish is about always learning something new, even if you are encountering the same thing you've seen or done before dozens or hundreds of times. THAT is being Jewish. Rereading the same book every year and the same passages over and over, but still being a little lost or even finding something you never knew before?

That is being a Jew.

Jews may open a siddur and know what they'll find there, but we do not open it and expect to know everything about how that material is used or applied. And we don't feel a guarantee that life will not teach us something new today, or that someone's minhag won't be totally different from ours. Jews may know the Torah, they may even choose to memorize the mitzvot by heart, but we don't expect this memorization will ensure we never have a halakhic question in life!

So you see, the big scary fact is this: you might become a fluent reader of prayer book Hebrew, you might someday daven entirely in Hebrew, or even graduate rabbinical school, but still sometimes be thrown into being a stranger to something, even something you thought you knew.

But when you identify this and then embrace it, it becomes less scary and part of your Jewish identity. Being perfectly settled, fixed in your knowledge or your thinking or your skills — it honestly doesn't feel terribly Jewish to me.

And for many people born as Jews this can manifest as a type of reflexive embarrassment or self-consciousness for failing at jewishness somehow or having less knowledge for one reason or another. It can make folks defensive or ashamed or feel frustrated for the disconnect. I'm here to tell you that as converts we get the chance to illustrate joyfully that no Jew knows everything Jewish, and that is the experience of being Jewish. The biggest thing holding any of us back from learning the things we don't know is

a) being afraid to seem not Jewish enough or

b) being afraid to not know something

I have excellent news for your (and my) anxiety:

A) almost all Jews worry about how Jewish they seem in some fashion or another so that's normal and,

B) since only hashem knows everything, our job is to not know everything, but to be willing to learn anything. Also we're better in numbers! Two heads are better than one and a minyan is better than that! Everyone doesn't know something, but none of us are alone as Jews. Which is why we become Jewish in community, and not alone. Because someone else might know what we don't!

Get it?

Step #1: you have to jump feet first into not already knowing something perfectly and start knowing less but learning more.

If you are reading the English words and English translations to daven, this means you need to stop. This was your training wheel. And you are not finding your own balance relying on it.

If your siddur has transliterations of the hebrew, bring a little index card next time and cover up the English as you daven for a start. I familiarized myself with the Hebrew because I was saying everything in Hebrew out loud every single time. Once you know the shema by heart more or less (for example), all you have to do is learn the alphabet to prompt your memory to progress further in your Hebrew learning.

That's how kids learn any language. We speak before reading as children. So speak and chant and sing in Hebrew. Whisper the Hebrew. As you get more comfortable, learning to read Hebrew will be an exercise you can even do during the middle of shabbat.

Because you know what the prayer says, and you just need to match the words you see to the sounds you know.

Step #2: know the aleph bet before you attempt reading comprehension of all words.

Things that I used to learn the aleph bet:

Hebrew scripts (the app by drops)

Write it! Hebrew app

Victoria Hanna's The Aleph Bet Song (Hosha'na) because uh she sings the aleph bet and pronounces it

Behrman House Books: Hineni: prayerbook Hebrew for adults; aleph isn't tough! For adults. The kids stuff is good too, I'm not ashamed to say I own "time to read Hebrew!" 1&2

(The Hebrew by inbal on Amazon looks new but good possibly?)

If you want a siddur set up specifically to practice matching transliteration and Hebrew aleph bet, I recommend Chayim Alevsky's My Siddur (choose the minhag variant you use! I bought the Sephardic/Israeli as I don't use ashkie pronunciations.

There will be slight differences of you're used to liberal inclusion of say, the matriarchs, but in general this is a solid practice book for anyone. Transliteration is given word by word, with full word blocks reading in the same direction as Hebrew. At the bottom of the page certain (possibly newer to the learner) words will be defined.

It also now has an app which looks like this:

So you see this is pairing the reading direction of Hebrew words with the sounds spelled out in English to strengthen your Hebrew. If you try to read the transliteration in the English direction word by word, you'll be reading it backwards and starting with v'kayahm, instead of "modeh" (or "modah" feminine). Further even if you're starting correctly with modeh, the English word is still left to right over the Hebrew right to left. so this forces you to be attentive to the Hebrew itself and slow down word by word!

The layout in the print versions means you can cover up the transliteration to test your learning of certain words, and only check if you forget.

I still am not perfect at everything and I truthfully attentively practice Chinese far more than Hebrew reading, but this is what helped me.

Good luck!

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adventuringblind · 9 months

Text

Butterflies on You Skin

Oscar Piastri x Reader

Genre: angst and hurt/comfort

Request: No, this is entirely self indulgent

Summary: Sometimes, the coping mechanisms we create aren't the ones we need...

Warnings: graphic images if SH

Notes: I do not in any way condone SH. I used to read fics like this when I was going through it and it helped. Like somehow reading about fictional me doing it and then getting help allowed he to have those same sensations. My point being that I am struggling at the time I'm writing this and I'm determined to stay clean (almost two years!). This helps me and I hope it helps someone else out there too. Remeber you're not alone ❤️

Masterlist

People don't understand that pain can become addicting. When you've been through so much of it, all of it not by choice, choosing the pain feels like a release.

She knows it's wrong. She knows there are better ways of dealing with things. But she can't see to stop herself.

It's her way of reminding herself she has power and control. She picks where the knife goes and how deep it cuts into her skin. She chooses when and where it happens.

It was something she needed and relied on for so long. Until she met Oscar.

They were teenagers when they met. Some birthday party for a mutual friend. Both of them left feeling out of place, so they gravitated towards each other.

Phone numbers were exchanged.

They spent far too much time talking to each other. She felt that he kept her down to earth. That no matter the bad things that happened, he would be there. Even replacing the knife occasionally.

He found her intriguing. Her perspectives on life and her dreams for the future. Her head had a tendency to get stuck in the clouds, but he didn't mind. He likes listening to her talk.

When they both graduate, he invites her to his races. Watching him felt fulfilling in a way, and she likes the traveling.

Yet when she's alone. Her head is sending her to places she can't come back from. When she needs the sting she's come to crave, she's spending the night with her knife.

When Oscar finishes his f2 career and becomes the third driver for Alpine, he ends up confessing his feelings for her. Something she's been wanting to do for years but never could.

A week later, he's kissing her. Her heads find the clouds easily after that. Something about his presence and how he is so genuine clears away the hurricane that is her thoughts.

Being a third driver means Oscar does have a bit more free time. He gets to go home to see her more often. Something she's not used to.

The Australian gets home late one night. He comes in quietly since he figures she's already asleep.

Oh, how terribly wrong he is.

She'd had a fight with her family earlier that day. Her parents have never been good at communication, and they still claim they gave her a better life than what they had. Which is true, she thinks.

She has no reason to be sad.

Another reason to draw the sharp edge across her skin. Another thin red line to add to the ever growing tally.

Oscar sees the bathroom door closed and the light turned on. He hears the clatter next. He presses his ear to the door. Debating whether to make his presence known or if that would scare her more than if he waited.

The hiss of pain is what gets him. "Love? Are you alright?" All movement on the other side stops. Then the clatter again.

She hates when she gets sloppy. She knows she's gone too far, and Kscar wasn't supposed to be home until tomorrow.

She stares down at the crimson colored lines. The contents of the wounds coat her skin at dripping to the floor.

"Love? Please answer."

But she can't answer. what is she supposed to say? That her unhealthy coping mechanism is finally becoming her undoing. The she's tried to stop but the sensation is something she's learned to crave?

Oscar tried the handle. Received to find it unlocked. He opens just a small crack. He's never been one to invade her privacy.

The look of pain in his eyes makes her sob. He dosent move when he sees her. His mind trying to register what he's seeing.

How had he never noticed until now?

He can tell she’s panicking. He gently moves himself to the floor, grabbing a towel as he goes. He doesn’t say anything, just gently start to clean her up.

When he’s successfully disinfected the wounds and has bandages them up, he lead her into their room.

“I know it’s hard, but we have to talk about it.”

She just shakes her head in response. He deserves an explanation. Really, he deserves someone better.

She just tells him everything. Basks in the gentleness of his voice and warmth of his touch as she does so.

She was expecting him to leave. Her mind convinced she was unlovable in her state. After all, who could fall in love with someone who crave the sting of a knife?

But she was wrong.

Oscar was somehow filled with a new sense of purpose and they found themselves working together to help her pull through to the other side. A reminder that she is far from alone.

He’s quick to find a way to help her and when he does it feels almost magical.

The butterfly project. The goal is to not kill the butterflies.

They start small. She puts the butterfly on her hand. Just a simple doodle.

It doesn’t last long and she’s crying over the fact she killed it.

The next time around there are two butterflies. One on her and one in Oscar. His drawing take much more time. His deliberate design giving her more motivation to not ruin it.

It’s gone in two weeks and she relapses that day. Yet the fact she made it that far was an accomplishment.

Soon the butterflies are everywhere. Both their arms covered.

It became something she did when she was bored. Her hands drawing the bugs in every open surface.

It was difficult and she slipped but she was getting better.

Oscar was so incredibly proud of her. He got asked frequently about the creatures that littered his skin. He just said he liked them and so does his girlfriend.

When Oscar started with McLaren, Lando noticed them immediately. “If you ever need to talk I’m here if you want.” Oscar shoots him a confused look before remembering the lovely blue butterfly colored in with Sharpie placed in the middle of his forearm.

So she's made it to a year. Sure, she's slipped here and there, but it's nothing like it used to be. It's something to celebrate.

Oscar spends the entire day with her. Praising her acomplishment and reminding her how proud he is if her and how proud she should be of herself.

She is proud. It's something she never thought she could do. Not on her own, at least.

It's Oscar that helped her through and the butterflies in her skin.

Now she's has a permanent one. A reminder she came through to the other side. A reminder that she is not alone. Most importantly, a reminder she's loved.

Remember you're not alone.

This was somewhat based on a true story. Here's my reminder to myself every day that I'm not done yet, and neither are you. Keep fighting loves ❤️

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bnuuys-writing · 11 months

Text

Twisted Wonderland's Phantom

Hi! I hope you enjoy this! This is the introduction of the crossover of Phantom of The Opera x Twisted Wonderland. Do forgive me if theres any grammar mistakes or repeating themes. I wrote this with a migraine lol but I have been seeing everyone talking about this for months now, and today was the day I have decided to write it now that I have a small break from school + My job rn.

If you have any questions, or wanna talk headcanons, or just want to shoot me a compliment; feel free to throw it in my inbox!! <3

Chapter One(You are here!), Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Leona's Ending, Malleus' Ending

~Bnuuy out!

Y/N, also known as the prefect of Night Raven College of Magic. AKA The Dorm leader in charge of the lonesome home named The Ramshackle; or in other words, Y/N the Magicless Human. The story has been told many times in rumors or whispers of the magicless human within the prestigious magical all boys school across the crowds of thousands. How they arrived with the other new years and how life started for them within this new world as a cat sitter, as well not being able to use any sort of magic left a mark within the school. Yet, here they stand, with friends from across all the dorms within the school as they have saved them from countless Overblots.

“Guys, I’ve told you many times, I’m just going to the library to go check out a new book. You do not need to follow me!” Y/N exclaimed tirelessly as their compatriots, Ace and Deuce, followed them with smiles on their faces.

“Cmon Y/N! Lighten up! Its the final school year of Night Raven College! Certainly you don't want to be sticking your nose in some boring books! Right Deucy?” Ace chimed out as he nudged his fellow troublemaker who only grunted at the elbow.

“Well… Y/N can do whatever they would like to do-” Another nudge from Ace’s elbow, perhaps a bit more rougher this time caused Deuce to cough a bit. “-But yes! You could be spending time with us at the unbirthday parties! And plus, the alumni are coming today! Riddle, Vil, Leona, all of your friends are coming to visit the school JUST for this week! Don't you want to see them?” Deuce asked, rubbing his side where Ace had nudged a bit too roughly.

True, this was indeed your third year at Night Raven College with no luck in finding your way back home, so this was your only chance to start studying hard to make your footing and to make a stand for once you are officially graduated from the College. Only making it more the wiser to really get your butt in gear of trying to find what you would want to do after this year. Grim would most likely be on his own, having surpassed both Ace and Deuce in study, but you could’ve guessed it was out of pure power instead of intelligence. Deuce would most likely follow his dream of becoming a police officer and making his mother proud, as for Ace…? You shuddered slightly at the thought of Ace becoming more than just a student at Night Raven College, and couldn't bring yourself to think about the possibilities he might have as an adult-prankster.

“I do but guys, you already know what you will or want to be doing outside of Night Raven, and I don't… So, I have to get started on getting my foundation really set up before I am graduated.” Y/N started towards their two friends, Grim just happily purring away on your shoulder as you argued back and forth before shaking your head. “Follow me or not, but I’ll be going into the library to see what I can do for a living as a magicless person within Twisted Wonderland.” Rolling your eyes while opening the large door to the library with a loud creek, the two could only watch as you walked in and the door shut with a loud slam.

Now the library was impressive, many books dating from all around from history to How To’s books. If Crowley knew anything, it was that he was an impressive hoarder of books- although you doubted he knew that- or doubted if he could even read considering all the slacking he's been doing in getting you home. So much for a Gracious Kind Headmage. Humming to yourself as you began to walk down the countless isle of books, memories flashing within your head as you pass down certain isles.

How Floyd Leech chased you down the history isle, begging to squeeze you while you were ushering a poor certain Riddle to run away and hide. Becoming Floyd’s new toy for the next hour until he got bored.

Rook Hunt recommending some certain weird books about how hunting and survival tactics would be important for you if you ever got lost in the wilderness. At least now, you’re able to tie a knot very well as well as start a fire!

Jamil and Kalim studying hard at a table- Well… Let's be honest here, more like Jamil trying to force things into Kalim’s mind who was more busy talking to you and asking about your day than actually studying.

Lastly, Malleus reaching above you to grab a certain book you were wishing to read for fun and for him to hand it to you with such gentleness, you could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you called to your friend, Tsunatrou so happily and thanked him for reaching the book for you.

Pausing at that isle as you could almost see the figures of your friends whizzing past your eyes like shadows of long forgotten dreams. Shaking your head slightly, you trudged forward only for something hard to hit your head, causing a familiar NYAH! To echo within your ear as your shoulders become lighter. Grim and this large thick book layed on the ground as you rubbed your head in pain, letting a quiet groan in pain as you collected yourself back together.

“Grim, how many times have I said not to drop things on me?” You questioned out accusingly towards your roommate who only let out a small pout, shaking his head furiously at your accusations.

“It wasn't me this time, I assure you Y/N! This book fell off that really top shelf!” Grim pointed his paw up to the very top shelf that you knew you would need a ladder to reach. Sighing, you picked up Grim and held him close to your chest as you looked down at the book accusingly only for your reaction to turn miffed and confused. The words on the book were swirling around in different languages, if you could assume, for only when you reached out to touch it, it changed to your native tongue.

“Phantom of The Opera?” You whispered out, eyebrows raised as you looked at the book with curiosity and disregarding the whines of Grim who suggested that this book was not a book you two should dig into. Grabbing the book and stuffing it into your bag, you quickly left the library with a newfound of urgency to head straight back to the ramshackle and dig into the book with a profound sense of curiosity.

Crewel did say to you once while you were trying to find a certain book about potionology within his room, of course with no such luck sadly, that books sensed with magic will choose who will read them next. That sentient books were also very dangerous if put into the wrong hands if the book chose who it got transported to next wrong.

“Y/N! MYAH! I don't think we should dig into this book!” Grim shouted out at you as you set him down on the couch within the Ramshackle, having run home quickly to dig your nose into this book. Grim could feel it, but you couldn't. Something was wrong with this book but he couldnt put his paw on it just yet…

“Oh hush Grim! Everything will be okay! I'm magicless, remember? I don't think I can even wield a grimoire!” You stated out as you rushed up the stairs after having placed your keys, phone and wallet down on the counter. Leaving a very concerned Grim behind your tail with ears folded down and a queasy feeling in his stomach that was not akin to premium tuna fish hunger…

“That's what I'm worried about…”

It wasnt hard to get yourself settled in your room, book in hand, ready to dig into its contents or find out what this Phantom of The Opera is. The Alumni should be here within the next hour so certainly you had a bit of time to at least get started into the book, right?

A small glimmer rippled through the hard cover of the book, as if whispering you to open it, begging you to turn to the first page. As if you were under Jamil’s special magic, you slowly peeled back the cover and turned to the first page only to find it blank, then the next page, following the next page. All of it was blank! Sighing in frustration, you began to flip through the pages until the book forced you to stop on one. On the page, a glimmer rippled through it only for a large red rose to appear, a mask, and a diamond ring. A message soon appeared underneath the items, a prompt;

Choose One.

Huh… This is interesting.

Humming in curiosity, you reached forward to pick up the rose, it was clean of all thorns and had few leafs on it. A delicate specimen that Riddle would’ve shamed you for plucking had it been in his own rose garden. Yet, once your fingers glazed over the stem, your vision began to get heavy and dark, it was getting harder and harder for your eyes to stay open as you fell unconscious in a matter of seconds.

Meanwhile, Grim huffed and puffed downstairs, waiting for you to come out from your room to feed him. An hour had passed and you promised to feed the Alumni and Grim tonight at Heartsabyul! Yet you were still locked away within your room and here he is, waiting on his henchman again!

“Y/n! Cmon! Im hunnggryyyy!!” Grim shouted out from downstairs, making his way up to your room now. WIth a hard shove into the stubborn old door, he found himself with the book on your bed and with you nowhere in sight. Stunned and alerted at your lack of presence, he let out a loud MYAH! As he booked it downstairs and out the door to the one place he knew he could go to for help.

Heartsabyul.

The party was already booming, the roses had been painted red, everyone seeming to be enjoying tea and the treats that were brought along. At least Riddle seemed to be enjoying himself back in his seat of Queen. Leona wasn't too far down but he seemed uninterested in all the sweets but more of the meats that Savannahclaw had brought in for the party. Of course, Azul had also brought along Floyd and Jade to sell out merchandise of her flourishing outside of NRC business. Jamil and Kalim were off to the corner, Jamil having brought their own food for Kalim to eat. Iida and Ortho were obviously nowhere to be found but some snacks had been going missing here and there. Vil and Rook were pestering Epel who had flourished perfectly, complimenting their Poison Apple. As for Malleus? My, did he receive an invitation? No one can recall.

“GUYS! I NEED HELP!” Grim’s screeching voice ripped through the garden, causing all fun and festivities to stop. Usually when Grim is screaming, a Prefect is certain to follow afterwards. Yet, As Grim bounded over the table to Ace and Deuce with no Prefect in tail, the air got visibly tense.

“Y/N HAS BEEN ABDUCTED AFTER THEY PICKED UP THIS BOOK FROM THE LIBRARY THAT HIT THEM IN THE HEAD! I CANT SMELL OR FIND THEM ANYWHERE!” Grim screeched out as Deuce and Ace were looking at him weirdly. Suddenly, the sunny day within Heartsabyul got cloudier… And Cloudier… To where it looked like it was about to storm.

“Where is the Child of Man?” An all too intimidating presence made itself known. Malleus, with a decorated invitation personally assigned by Y/N stood by the entrance of the garden. Lilia, Silver and Sebek all standing there alongside him. Leona was not impressed by this showcase of purely a tantrum from a now King of Briar Valley. The air was tense, the cake was suddenly no longer sweet and the tea was ice cold.

“Settle down Malleus, I’m sure this is one big prank from Grim to try and scare us all.” Lilia spoke, a small ‘fufu’ following afterwards as he stared out into the large crowd. Leona was the next one to speak, slicing the tense air with a knife.

“I hoped you wouldn't show, yet here you are. And Grim, if you’re pranking us, its a horrible prank and you need to try better next time.” Leona sighed out, rubbing his temples as he stood up. He didn't need to be here anyway, if it weren't for his brother pestering him to go and Cheka kept getting into his business now as being a little older of a cub. If the only one who was taking it seriously was Malleus, Deuce was also included in the worry.

“What do you mean Y/N got abducted, Grim? Where are they?” Deuce asked out urgently as he stared down the grey haired familiar of yours. Grim looked around the room, hoping other than Deuce and Malleus were worried, he could smell the concern rising from Leona but made no rush to comment about it. Vil and Rook were both on edge as they stared down the cat and Riddle’s eyes were boring into the soul of Grim, as if trying to see if he was lying so he could cast his unique magic on him.

“Well! Like I said, there was a book that fell on top of Y/N and I in the library and the words kept moving-” Grim was cut off by Vil who’s eyebrows raised up in alarm.

“A Sentient book? Did they open it?”

“If you would let me finish- yes! They did! Y/N ran up to our room and when I went in there to collect them to come here, the book was open and they were missing!” Grim started out quickly, ears falling to the sides as they thought of their poor henchman, being kidnapped or even worse! Having gone back to their world without saying goodbye to him!

Riddle stood up abruptly out from his hair and sighed. “Let us go then, if Prefect needs our help, we will give it. Just as they have helped us through our overblots.” Though, he could hear some grunts of displeasure around the table.

“Nehhh~... Whats in it for us though?” Floyd’s voice came out, looking bored as ever as he stood near this little popup cart that Azul set up for Jade and him to run. At hearing a price to help Y/N, others began to agree until a flash of lightning hit the tree not too far and trailed after a large boom of thunder. Malleus was not impressed by the company he was in, and quickly proved to change their minds. The answer was clear;

Help Y/N or get Smited Down by the King of Briar Valley.

It's a good thing they of course all loved you very much!

So here they stand, Grim pointing down to the book accusingly as he sat on Deuce’s shoulders. Leona, Vil, Rook, Riddle, The Tweels, Azul and All of Diasomina stood within your room. All accusingly staring down at your book with mixed faces of confusion, annoyance, and regret. While the book was still open, still had the mask and diamond ring upon its sparkling surface with the sentence below it

Choose One.

“Do you really think Y/N chose one?” Ace would ask out curiously, reaching forward only for his hand to be stopped by Rook who was smiling at him.

“Mon ami, you wouldn't want to toy with what you don't know, oui?” Rook lightly scolded Ace who only huffed and pulled his hand away from the blonde frenchman.

“Its sad that I didnt teach more about Sentient books to our little potato. Mayap they would’ve learned that messing with such forms of magic is forbidden- Especially when it hits your head in the library.” Vil would sigh out as he looked over the items. What could a mask and diamond ring have to do with anything? Did Y/N take something? If they did, what was it?

“I do not see the issue with these items. Certainly it must be easy to collect Y/N.” Malleus would state as he would reach forward and grab the mask. Being a man with powerful magic, he didnt instantly get knocked down but it did temper with his magic. Sebek was immediately alerted by this and attempted to grab the mask to protect his master. Silver reached out to do the same and Lilia was there to catch Malleus’ fall before they all were transported in. Their souls became little wisps that were shot straight into the book while the mask stayed floating before crumbing into dust.

“Well, I understand now.” Deuce would state out and shake his head. The last one was the diamond ring. Leona’s hand was first to grab it.

“There is no way that damn lizard is going to save Y/N. I’ll be the one to do it.” Yet Vil, Rook, Riddle, Azul and the Tweels were grabbing after him. They wanted their share of glory in helps of finding their beloved Prefect. Afterall, the King and the Prince shouldn't have all the glory now, nor all the fun- Could they?

As their souls turned to wisps, they all shot into the book as Ace, Deuce and Grim watched this debacle happen before their very eyes. With a loud bang, they all came to realize that the book had shut itself and a title appeared before the Adeuce gang.

The Phantom of The Opera.

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dragongirltongue · 5 months

Text

New Pinned post <3

Hi there, the name is Zelda, or one of like, 20 other names that may or may not be listed somewhere around here. If you know a name I go by that isn't findable here don't use it. <3

I'm bigender which is made up of girl and fem6oy, as such I use she/her and sometimes he/him pronouns when I'm feeling fem6oy enough <3

I'm in my 30s, not getting more specific than that until I decide it's not true enough to change it, don't try to find my exact age as I don't like sharing that information publicly, I don't even update it on my birthday <3

I'm a polyamorous bisexual voraphile freak and if you're over 18 you're welcome to talk to me about how much of a freak I am. I love to flirt and encourage it. Also happy to share my Other Blog with anyone interested, again as long as you're of age. <3

I'm a film graduate and currently working on doing something with that experience as well as working on a superhero comic and a 2D zelda style game. Feel free to bug me about any of those I love to discuss writing and media and want to encourage media literacy. <3

I'm also an ex-jehovahs witness and as a result I'm hugely into the holiday season in a very against my old god kinda way. Also big into sinning <3

Also I'm like, a dragon in probably an otherkin/thetadelta kinda way, like, it's core to who I am and how I understand myself so yeah. Despite this my fursona is a fox, the dragon in my icon is literally me <3

I also draw sometimes and when I do it'll be posted to @dragongirldrawings but always reblogged here too.

Also I'm a member of a plural system, feel free to check out the rest of the system over here @haven-sys <3

Further on the identity weirdness I'm an imaginary friend for the person who used to inhabit this body, they've been gone for like, over 20 years so it's not really relevant but I have started embracing my nature as a fictional creation, it's comforting.

Btw, if one of my posts containing my typing quirk ends up on your dash I take no responsibility for it. I use it in posts that are for me only and if they happen to resonate with others that's their choice to reblog.

So yeah that's me, hiii I love you all <3

this post is specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue

DNI list under the read more.

lmao imagine if I actually made one of those finally, that's how you'd know I've been replaced with an evil clone or something.

That being said if you're looking at my blog to send me an ask or dm about what someone gets off to please understand unless they're actively hurting someone I rly don't care. I have a lot of ignored and blocked anons about this.

This goes double if the person you're trying to alert me to is trans femme, we don't play that game here, especially given that I know I've been targetted for things as simple as engaging in vore the wrong way for some people or whatever.

Like, I just want to make it clear I rly don't give a fuck what another adult does in the bedroom, I rly don't care if the bedroom happens to include their blog and I rly don't care if they like to flirt about it with other adults on this website.

Also if your pinned post is a callout for anyone about anything it's likely to set off my paranoia around you, which is to say I will not be able to trust you if this is the case even if it's for someone who's actually a danger to a community, like, actively.

Like, this ain't a moral stance or anything, it's a mental health thing. I see that you want to make your first point of contact into a crosshair on someone else I'm gonna be scared you're gonna aim at me next even if it's completely reasonable that you'd never find anything objectionable with me. It scares me and I'm gonna spend every interaction walking on egg shells around you cos what if you're digging for dirt, like, I got no way of knowing.

Anyway as the opening joke implies I don't see any worth in having a list of things to not interact with me over cos the lived experience on this planet is so full of nuance and I've formed deem friendships with people who'd probably have avoided me if I had a DNI and they cared about it.

I think DNIs are dumb but this feels like a space to talk about some general limits on what I'm gonna put up with on this website. I'm just here for a good time with other freaks, anything else is optional. If you want to drag me into your discourse at this point then I guess this is whre I ask you to Do Not Interact. To anyone else, I love yall <3

If you've been directed here after sending an ask my way please apologize for wasting my time [here]

tl;dr DNIs are dumb but don't drag me into your personal grievances with others.

this post is still specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue

#6aaah #last updated april 28

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harufluff · 11 months

Text

txt as romantic tropes

warnings - cursing, breaking up??, let me know if there's any more.

wc - 2.6k (all together)

genre - txt x fem!reader (individually written), established and un-established relationship aus, idol au and non-idol au, angst and fluff

yeonjun

bully turned lover

honestly high school felt like another lifetime. your entire high school experience was mostly just you trying to get through all your classes and get into a good collage. sadly there isn't a high school experience without some downs. choi yeonjun. your high school bully. popular as he was, he wasn't necessarily the nicest guy around. you would never in any universe consider him a friend or anything more.

girls would swoon over him and his good looks, but you saw right through that. little did you know that made you a target for him. the constant words being thrown at you by himself and his friends, the ongoing harassment. obviously high school was not a great couple of years for you.

thankfully after graduation, you decided to take a couple of years off before college. just have fun and be an adult. dating is naturally part of that "adult experience". over the time you were out of school you decided to go on some randomly scheduled dates. whether they be from online dating, or set ups from friends.

anyway back to real time, cute cafe date with some guy you thought was nice on some random dating site. honestly it wasn't that fun, but at least you could get a coffee and not look lonely.

'i'm gonna go get a few napkins ok?'

your date asks you while beginning to sit up. you nod with a small smile. you take your phone out while he walks around to the front counter and asks the employee for napkins. your about to put your phone away, when there is a light tap to your shoulder.

'uhm...l/n y/n?'

your head turns around at the sound of your name being called by a familiar voice. you turn your head to see choi yeonjun. your high school bully in the flesh.

'y-yeonjun?'

your eyes grow wide at the sight of him. you briefly exchange simple "how have you been"'s and "what brings you hear"'s. to which you answer that you're on a date, and he tells you he was just in the area and wanted a drink.

'uhm...i just wanted to say, that i was a jerk in high school towords you. i really am sorry. i had always thought it was cool of me to be acting like that, but i realized after we graduated how stupid i was."

yeonjun continued his entire apology speech to you before you stopped him and asked him what the point of this was, while also thanking him.

'i was wondering, i-if you were free tomorrow?'

you smiled at his gesture and accepted his invitation. you simply gave him your number and he promised to text you when he got the chance. you smiled at him as he walked away. as your date came back he asked,

'who was that?'

'a friend.'

soobin

rejected to lovers

today was the day he was gonna do it. soobin was gonna confess his feelings to you. he knew he had a small chance of you feeling the same way. but he had confidence! confidence that you would like him too.

the cocky side of soobin coming out, he thought that you could like him. he was good looking, a sophmore like you, good personality, polite, and he was never rude or imposing.

so here he was, standing out in the courtyard, holding a flower out to you. his head was down and his eyes were closed, in hopes you wouldn't see him embarrassment. your eyes are wide, and mouth is slightly agape. you look down at the flower in his hands.

'uhm...i'm sorry, but...i don't feel the same way."

soobin looked back up with you, before bowing once again, handing you the flower, and running away to somewhere you don't know. honestly you didn't know what happened from there. you didn't interact with him as much after that.

--------

ahh finally. senior year was here. the years prior went by fast. stressful assignments that are finally done and gone, the long hours of studying for a test are finally over with, and hopeless relationships that you initiated, and one that you didn't, and declined.

oh yeah. you remember that, when a boy you had liked in middle school confessed his feelings to you in the courtyard with a flower in hand. every since that day, you had thought about it more and more. sometimes you still wonder why you declined. sometimes you wondered if you lost feelings, or were just too oblivious to realize.

honestly, deep down you know if you said yes that day everything would change. maybe you did have a crush on him now, but you knew he wouldn't take you back after that. damn it he probably hates you!

--------

soobin was on your mind every freakin day. literally there was nothing you could look out without thinking about him. fuck it. you were gonna at least write him a note telling him you liked him and you were sorry. save yourself the embarrassment of being rejected face to face. damn it. that's what he you did to him...

at that realization you screwed the note, ran to his house after 7th period and prepared yourself for rejection, because goddammit you knew what was about to happen.

you rung the doorbell of his home, and for some reason was surprised to see your classmate there, uniform still on, hair shaggy, and a surprised expression prominently taking over his face.

'h-hey, y/n. uhm, what are you doing at my house...?'

your face mirrored his when he asked that simple question.

'i just wanted to say i'm sorry for sophomore year. i don't know what i was thinking when i said that. to be honest with you i was pretty much in love with you all of middle school and probably now too, i'm just too much of an idiot to realize that until now.'

you rambled out. his mouth with now in an "o" shape. what the heck did he just hear??! his crush of two plus years is literally confessing to him that she's been in love with him since middle school?!

'ok then. let's start over. hi, im choi soobin, and i'm in love with you too'

(sorry this one was a bit confusing :/)

beomgyu

other side personality shown

the world knew beomgyu as the meme of an idol. the happy go lucky mood maker member of txt. that wasn't how you knew him though. you knew him as the caring, well thought out guy who casually told you he liked you a couple of years prior.

you knew him as the chill guy who you met on some dating sight, fell in love with, and found out he was an idol. honestly that didn't change anything for you though. if anything it made your trust for him better.

the fact that he was able to continue talking to you while also having the responsibility of being an idol and keeping something from you that he shouldn't be throwing around on a dating website.

you saw the smart man behind the outgoing personality he had with his friends. the calm and relaxed romance was always the guy you saw when you opened the door.

'hey.'

beomgyu said with a sweet smile on his lips. he was pretty much beaming, but in a different way than he does with his friends. with his friends its a constant mischievous smirk. with you its a look of love and admiration.

'hey gyu.'

for the rest of the night you sat in each other comfort and the silent night outside you window. thanks to your boyfriends busy schedule, these rare times where you can be together in the kitchen and make ramen are precious.

so here you are standing at the stove stirring the ramen and adding in the powder to the mix, while beomgyu is washing the dishes that were still sitting in the sink from the other night when he was over.

'its done!!'

you say happily turning around and proudly pointing to the ramen on the counter. he snaps his head around and dips his head down to smell the comforting ramen smell. but before standing back up to his level he leaves a quick peck on your lips.

'sorry. i had to'.

his playful side coming out, you smile and decide to peck his lips back. with that small interaction between lovers, he drops the towel in his hands and brings you closer by your hips. his head turns to the side as he sweetly kisses you.

with you there was no competition. no constant need to be better than his hyungs. obviously you love everside of the guy, but this special side that only you get to see is by far your favorite.

taehyun

oblivious x oblivious

'HE LIKES YOU WHY DON'T YOU REALIZE IT.'

was what your best friend was currently yelling at you. she was always on your back about your love life even though you told her not to. but there's no way to stop the people who care about you.

well anyway, she was talking about taehyun. you had known him since senior year when he transferred to your school and became a prominent part of your friend group.

he was never someone you would hang out with unless it was with someone else too. your friend group was pretty mixed, so multiple grades and girls and boys.

naturally that led to some crushes, which led to gushy relationships along with heartbreaks. you didn't want any part of that. and neither did taehyun.

'he doesn't like me.'

you answer turning your head and smiling to yourself. why does she push so hard. he doesn't like you and that's just it. end of conversation.

'boo'

you hear from the back of you. you flinch slightly at the cold hands being placed on your shoulders. fuck it was him. did he hear you? did he care? i guess he would have said something but whatever.

'oh hi...'

you say quietly as if you're trying to hide from him. he smiles at your small interaction.

'OH TAEHYUN!! we were just talking about-'

you clapped your hand around her mouth in order to stop the information from coming out. damn it, if you let her say one more thing your cover would be blown.

taehyun simply stood there then smiled and look at his feet.

'ok then, well i better get going. see you y/n'

you nodded and said your goodbyes as well. she gave you a look of disappointment and a hint of side eye. to be honest you felt the same way. maybe if you had just let it play out he it would have worked out. it doesn't matter anyway he doesn't like you.

'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU'

your friend says right after you lift your hand gently from her mouth. you look at her with a blank look.

'why don't either of you realize you like each other.'

normally in moments like this you would defend your understanding, that he doesn't feel the same way. but this time was different. you were so close to even the slightest chance of being with him. but you let it slip away.

you look down at your feet before turning around on your heel and walking in the direction taehyun did. you didn't look back, but you knew by the silence that your friend was smiling.

'taehyun!!'

you yell while waving your hand to get his attention. he turns around from where he stood a good 10 feet away from you. you stopped in your tracks and made eye contact with him. neither of you moved in that moment that felt like it was just to two of you.

'i like you!!'

you yell, closing your eyes, too scared of what the outcome will be. maybe he would walk away and not say anything. maybe he will come up to you and tell you you're weird. maybe he'll just flat out reject you.

you open your eyes to the feeling of big, warm hands cupping your cheeks. your eyes blink open and you see his tall, broad figure standing above you.

'i like you too'

huening kai

opposites attract

he was everything you didn’t want. he was exactly the opposite of what you wanted in someone to be a relationship in with.

kai was crazy and loud, and had little to none idea what he was doing half of the time. or at least that’s what you thought.

on the other hand, you were exactly what he didn’t want. you weren’t someone to go out on midnight dates just for the fun of it. not the type of person to have flour fights with in the kitchen.

why the fuck would he want you then? well, guess your friends thought otherwise when they set you up together on a blind date.

the look of astonishment on your face when you saw him walk through the door of she semi nice restaurant one of your friends left you at.

eyes widened, mouth agape slightly. you were kinda pissed if you don’t say so yourself. he simply stood there with a smirk on his face as he walked towards you, knowing full well this wasn’t gonna work out.

‘hey.’

you look down and reply quietly with another hello. what the fuck were you doing here. you knew this wasn’t a good idea. it was a horrible one to be honest. your thoughts continued to run wild until his voice stopped you.

‘well, how about we just enjoy the night and tell our friends it went great, but we still don’t like each other.’

‘sounds good.’

you answered with another short reply. throughout the night went on, you noticed things about him. the small mole on the side of his neck, even the way he talked when he got exited.

you also learned things about him like, he stays up late playing games, and that his love for plushies is never ending, and he even pointed out that he doesn’t normally like people more down to earth like you, but he didn’t enjoy your company.

maybe after tonight you didn’t hate him so much anymore. as soon as it came, the end came as well. you paid the check and walked out of the restaurant maybe a little closer than you used to.

you said your goodbyes and started to walk back in the direction of your home, still thinking about how much fun you had.

sure it was just a simple dinner date, but you had more fun in that night than you did all week. maybe he wasn’t so different from you.

‘wait!!’

you hear being screamed from behind you. you turn around with a questioning look on your face as you stopped and started as he started jogging to where you were.

‘can i get your number?’

you stared at him with wide eyes as you contemplated what was happening.

‘please?’

a smile started to seep through your lips as you giggled at his delayed politeness. you nod enthusiastically and pass him your phone with the text screen open for him to fill in his number. he passes his phone in return.

god he’s so cute, you think to yourself. why did he have to be so different?

‘so, i know we’re different people, but i would really like to see you again soon. honestly, i really like you.’

he says, his head held down while handing you back your phone you you handing him back his.

‘i would like that.’

comments and reblogs are highly appreciated

haruka rants - i tried to use less common tropes. also thank you for continuing to support me even thought i haven’t been active as much lately. i haven’t been feeling very motivated to write.

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flightyalrighty · 5 months

Note

Im not sure plus I'm not allowed to have a credit card ever :(

Which makes it worse :(

I really like your art and its unfair for someone with no money to pay someone to something

Ah, you know what's actually unfair? I can tell you!

I'm a very busy person! I have very few hours in my day to relax (my fault, went down the career path that Does That). I've chosen to, once properly set up, use up some of my few spare hours to offer folks my art as a buyable service.

Why don't I do this for free?

Well, because of a few reasons!

In order to get to where I am, I've spent my entire life, all 29 years, learning and practicing and learning and practicing some more. I've gone to art school to learn how to do what I do, graduated with a BFA in Cartooning and got saddled with a criminal amount of debt for it, learning some more through various jobs, whether it be as a little art assistant for Gene Luen Yang or as a contract storyboard artist for Red Bull. This isn't a hobby for me. This is my full-time job. My experience is worth something.

ANY piece that I work on is going to take time. Time that I have so very little of. I've got an ashcan in the works, Infested, the Eggman comic, the monthly request streams -- And, of course, I'll be using my weekends to work on commissions once that's set up. I don't even really play video games anymore. I spend like an hour in the early morning to play Toontown. I am otherwise working my 12 hour job. My time is worth something.

Artists are so often devalued and disrespected. Our work, much of the time, is not seen as a service or a good, but as a right that anyone can demand to have for free. Why should I not be paid for the sweat I pour over a piece when I know an electrician or programmer or lawyer most certainly will be paid for the work they do? Why does fair pay stop mattering when it's an artist asking for it? My effort is worth something.

And finally, to put it bluntly, I've been in an awful financial position ever since my Cintiq broke down months back, followed by my laptop and then my phone. All within months of each other. My contract work is over and my ashcan isn't guaranteed to make me money.

I already make art for people to enjoy for free, and, though you say you "really like" what I do, you come to my inbox and tell me that you want me to specifically cater to you, and that it's "unfair" that I ask for financial compensation for my time.

Perhaps it's time for some self-reflection.

#jayden-david-williams #asks

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saltygilmores · 8 months

Text

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 21- Lorelai’s Graduation Day, Aka Lovesick Stepcousins In The Big City, Part 3

I'm cheering Rory on as she leaves school grounds, leaving these 35 year old classmates in the dust, and as she manages to pull it off under the eyes of two teachers or administrators. Yes yes yes! Well from here on out it's going to be pure Literati appreciation with only minimal anger and rage, you know, my usual shtick. That being said, when that happens I start to sound a little disjointed, like, this episode is so pure and precious and enjoyable that I really don't have much snarky commentary on it and I can just watch it. What am I without my snark powers?

Destiny awaits. In one of many examples of what I call "Gilmore Girls Poor"*, which is a term I coined myself for how AmyShermanPalladino views lower/middle class/urban/city life, Rory manages to end up in the Port Authority Bus Terminal in another dimension. The Alternate Dimension, 100% white, Spotlessly Clean, Nearly People-Free New York City Bus Terminal where she stared down a scary dude without being stabbed and she was offered a locker to store her book bag. (*More examples of GGP: In season 4, Jess is 19 years old, a high school dropout, and is living in a clean, rat and roach free, enormous New York City apartment with working utiltiies and large windows that in today's housing crisis people would murder him to get, he just needed a bed frame and to pick his shit up off the floor but we are supposed to believe its a crack den; Rory and Lorelai live in a beautiful home and eat take out and restaurant food every day on nothing more than an innkeeper's slary)

This was cute. Rory the little mouse getting ignored by city folk. I love it so much.

I think AmyShermanPalladino inserted this smoking guy to make it look like Rory was in a rough part of town. Someone finally gives our little mouse an abrupt answer on how to get to Washington Square Park where she can meet her stepcousin and her destiny.

The little smirk before he turns around! And then, and then...and then...the big grin when he sees her!

I am STARVING for stepcousins!!!!!! ..And the Emmy Award for the whitest words ever spoken on teleivison goes to Alexis Bledel, as Rory Gilmore in Gilmore Girls:

Baring his naked forearms like a saucy strumpet. Book sticking awkwardly out of his back pocket. He either finds the smallest books or has the roomiest ass pockets that he keeps pulling that off. How does he do that?

This is all so precious and pure I could die.

He is RAPT with attention listening to her silly stories. Show me where Dean or Logan ever paid this much attention to her telling one of these stories.

We know, Bubs. We know :(

Red alert! Red alert! Our first display of physical contact!

Jess says he eats from this hot dog cart every day. Let's unpack this: 1) Holy child neglect, Batman! I mean, Liz Danes. You can't even make your kid a peanut butter and jelly sandwich once in a while? This boy is feral. These are survival hot dogs. This may be all he can afford to eat on his own. 2) How are you still as skinny as a rail? 3) How's your blood pressure? 4) Where are you getting the money?

This sweet bubba unquestionably paid for Rory's lunch like a true gentleman.

I refuse to acknolwedge any sort of Behind the Scenes Hollywood mumbo jumbo like "Milo wasn't ACTUALLY eating the hot dog" or “umm, it’s a prop hot dog”. i am firmly committed to a scenario where everyone on the set for this episode was like "Milo our precious vegetarian baby boy we will get you a tofu hot dog to eat"

Ending this chapter with this adorable face.

#gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 2 #lorelais graduation day #rory gilmore #jess mariano #milo ventimiglia #denise rewatches gilmore girls #literati #step cousins #my heart is bursting #hot dog #feral child #why isn’t Jess in school #he ate a hot dog in the movie Armored #I saw him deep throat the thing #tofu dog or commitment to the part that he will ingest meat for a role

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h8ani · 9 months

Text

Truth or Dare

Part One Here

Pairing: Shikamaru Nara x Reader

Anime: Naruto

Word Count: 2.3k

Synopsis: the events that led to asking your ex boyfriend a simple question from truth or dare

Warnings: Sappy fluffy ass smut, cursing, I’m gonna say the smut is lowkey trash so that’s a warning in itself, I am not good at writing fluff so there’s another warning in itself 😭

A/N - here’s Pt 2! I am not really good at writing fluffy stuff so I tried the best I could 😭 feel free to give your thoughts and opinions!

Shikamaru is a jackass.

That's it, that's the sentence. Point blank period.

Shikamaru couldn't have been further than the boy who you fell in love with. He was cocky, tried showing out whenever you were around now, cracked jokes. He didn't used to be like that, like someone who wanted attention. You liked his laid back attitude, how he always went with the flow, how he didn't care about anything. He didn't care about anything but you at one point in time, but that's in the past now. Now Shikamaru is someone you don't even recognize.

Shikamaru loved you, that you know. You used to love him too, you still do and a part of you knows you always will. He was your everything and you were his, the two of you were always seen attached to the hip in your early days of dating, and even when you were apart the other wasn't too far away.

Everyone used to joke about how you and Shikamaru were together since you both were in the academy, always laughing when you two finally hit your three year anniversary saying that it was much longer than that. You liked him long before he liked you and you being way more pushy about it as a 12 year old girl. Remember the saying about if a boy picks on you then he likes you? That was definitely you to Shikamaru and frankly he thought you were almost as annoying as Naruto was back in the academy. Keyword is almost. He swears up and down if you weren't so cute he would've shadow possessed you off a cliff on graduation day. How you were able to have him fall for you let alone get him to like you back is still a question you always asked yourself and him, even he could never give you a straight answer but you never really cared that much for one. You loved him with everything in your being, you'd jump in front of him any day of the week if it meant he'd stay out of harms way, he felt the same for you which makes everything about the breakup so much more painful to think back on.

You'd be lying if the breakup didn't come as a shock, you felt blindsided. It wasn't too long after your anniversary when he ended things. 16 days after your anniversary but who's keeping track of that? He didn't, you know he didn't. You're still bitter about it, about how abruptly he ended things and walked away like you weren't just planning on moving in with him, like you both didn't have countless talks about your future together, even the late night talks about what your kids would look like and how you two would raise them. All of that must have slipped his mind or he was just talking to talk and never meant any of it at all.

Your feelings and how it's still affecting you is evidence that you loved him and how much you truly did. The bond you had with him hurt too much to break but he did it anyway. You didn't leave your apartment for almost a month having Kakashi push back any missions for you for the time being, Shikamaru went on a mission the very next day seemingly unaffected by severing the tie you two had with one another. He had his missions to think about and all you had was your friends, most stayed neutral to your breakup because no one wanted to choose sides, you wouldn't want any of them to hence why everyone was at Ino's little party.

That party.

That game.

That damn game of truth or dare.

You never liked little party games like that, you never should've picked on Shikamaru for the next question. You blame the alcohol rather than you wanting to get on his nerves in some way after he called bullshit on your answer. Truth or dare was a stupid game and you should've just picked someone else.

~ ~ ~

"So Shikamaru, truth or dare?" You look at him with your arms crossed. He stares right back at you, eyes not leaving yours as he answers.

"Dare."

Of course he'd choose dare. He could never make this easy on you. He never did give you any easy passes even when you were together.

You think for a moment and fight the urge to smile as you speak. "Kiss who you want the most." He blinks and just looks at you, his brows scrunch for a moment. "Unless you can't-"

"Easy." He says as he gets up from his position on the floor. You roll your eyes at his response and lean back into the couch. You watch him as he doesn't even need a second to ponder who he wants to kiss and before you know it he's in front of you. You look up to him confused, Shikamaru leans down and his hand brushes past your cheek to find place at the back of your neck. You can feel your heartbeat in the back of your throat as you see him pause before looking at you. His eyes don't show the playfulness and teasing he had from earlier and you begin to question it.

"What are you-" You begin to speak but are cut off quicker than you started. His hand on the back of your neck pulled you to him, lips crashing into one another and your eyes fluttering shut almost immediately. You kiss back almost instantly and you can't help but not have a single care in the back of your mind about it. The silence from your friends was another thing that you couldn't help but not care about, seeing them watch this happening, nothing mattered to you but this.

You're conflicted, that part isn't going away, you so desperately kissed Shikamaru back after everything that's happened. The pain, the hurt, the heartbreak, yet you still missed his lips on your own. The butterflies in your stomach and the blush on your cheeks immediately counteracting the argument in your head that this was a bad idea because you wanted Shikamaru back more than anything. You missed him, you missed his kisses, you missed the way he'd grab onto your waist pulling you back to him in bed, you missed Shikamaru more than anything.

But the lingering thoughts still run around in your mind.

You could never go back to him no matter how much you missed him. Too much has happened, too much that shouldn't have happened. You'd never get back with Shikamaru.

~~~

You and Shikamaru would never-

Your legs tightened around his waist as he carried you back to his bed, the only sounds in his room were of you two, your kisses, your whispers to each other. He laid you back on his bed, your back melting into his soft mattress as he kisses you harder.

His teeth nipped at your bottom lip causing you to gasp as he slid his tongue into yours. You allowed him to take over, his one hand sliding into yours as his other slid up to your cheek. The subtle softness to the hunger of his kiss balancing each other out and you couldn't help but tighten your legs around him pulling him in closer. His hips slowly grinding into yours while he left your lips, kissing you one last time before looking down at you.

"What?" You say in almost a whisper, he would've missed it if he wasn't so close to you. He just shakes his head in response and kisses you softly, a change of pace from how he was kissing you moments before, his hand left yours before he sat up and removed his shirt quickly tossing it to the side. His hands found their way back to your waist before sitting you up and helping you with taking your clothes off.

He was slow and wasn’t in a rush with you, every button on your shirt he took his time with and a part of you wished he’d be faster with this because it’s just a hook up, at the very least that’s what you thought because why? Why would he want to reopen old wounds? Why would you think that this is anything but sex?

“Baby.” His voice brings you out of your thoughts and you look up at him, eyes wide at his words and a small chuckle comes out past his lips. “You’re thinking too much.” He places a quick kiss to your lips while taking your shirt off and tossing it to the floor. His hand finds it’s way and pushes you back on his bed.

You can’t help but pout at his words, how dare he still be able to read you so easily. How dare he kiss you tonight. How dare he be the Shikamaru you missed oh so much, how fucking dare he.

In the moments of you thinking and distracting yourself Shikamaru removed the rest of his clothing and quickly found his place inbetween your legs, he lined himself up gathering your slick on his dick and you finally glance up at him to see him already watching you. A smile graces his face. “There’s my girl.” You can’t help but let the smile that’s creeping up show as he says that. His girl. Like you never weren’t his in the first place. “Are you ready?” His thumb presses to your clit and moves in quick circular motions, you were already wet, he knew every trick that was your body. You nod quickly and as he leans down to kiss you he pushes in eliciting a deep groan from himself. “Fuck- God you’re so tight still.” His hips slowly roll into you making your pussy flutter around him.

“Faster Shika.” You arch your back slightly, his length hitting that perfect spot in you and he listens, picking up his pace along with the pressure of his thrusts. Each thrust he gave was harder and harder making you see stars with every one.

The small noises that came from you were music to his ears, he missed that sound, he missed you. Shikamaru would never admit this but he was nearing his peak already. He hasn’t bothered to sleep around after parting from you and he didn’t want to, his only release has been his hand and his constant thoughts of you and now that he has you again he doesn’t know how much longer he can last, but it’s like you knew that already. Just like how he remembers every little thing that makes you tick you also know everything about him, you know when he’s close, you know what turns him on, you know Shikamaru better than anyone else.

You clench around him and he about loses it, every little profanity slips past his lips and you watch him as he’s barely holding it together. A smile tugs at your lips and you bring your hands up to hold his face. “It’s okay if it’s quick.” His face heats up in embarrassment and he shakes his head, his fingers find their way back to your clit in response cutting off any other words you were about to say.

“Fuck- I love you. I missed you.” His head drops to the crook of your neck leaving open mouth kisses all along it. “Should’ve never fuckin let you go, I love you so much.” His pace quickens and the only sound that’s heard is the sound of skin slapping skin and the whimper you give out from his confession. “I love you.”

“Shut up Shika-” you begin to speak but his head leaving from the crook of your neck to hovering about your face has the words die on your tongue.

“No, I love you, so let me love you.” He’s adamant on his words and all you can do is nod and allow him to show you. He kisses you putting all the words he couldn’t say behind it, quickly deepening it.

It doesn’t take long for his fingers on your clit to make you cum, your pussy gripping him as he fucks you through your high and you feel his hips stutter, he pulls out and releases on your stomach and not even a moment after he’s getting off of his bed and going to the bathroom to get a warm towel to clean you up.

You two sit in silence as he wipes the towel on your stomach and thighs cleaning you up. The warmth of the towel and the chill in his room is a nice feeling. The silence is nice too but you both understand there’s more to be said.

“Do you want to stay the night?” He glances up at you, a pleading look can almost be seen in his eyes, the uneasiness of his question being heard.

“Yeah, I’d like to.” You give a small smile to him and grab his hand gently tugging him back to you. He grabs his blankets and throw them over you two, pulling you to his chest and holding you tightly to him.

It’s silent for a moment and for a second you think he fell asleep already, his breathing was even and he was silent until you felt his fingers brush against your side. “I do love you, ya know.”

“Then why’d you break up with me.” You say before you can even stop yourself. You can hear him let out a small sigh and bury his head into the back of your neck.

“I was scared and stupid. There’s nothing I can say but that…I’m sorry.”

He’s holding onto you so tight, almost as if you would just get up and walk out of his bed and out of his life. You can feel the slight tremble of his hands against your body and you can’t help but pull yourself out of his grip and turn around to face him. “I love you too, you idiot.” You shake your head at him. “God you’re such an idiot.”

“I have an IQ higher than yours.”

“Then you’re a really big idiot.”

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n30nwrites · 8 months

Text

Bring Me To Life (Prologue)

Summary: Against all odds, you've survived. Having graduated high school and moved out of your Parent's place, your sibling decides to join you for the summer, and your first stop is Santa Cruz in California, you had always wanted to live there anyways so why not now that you're experiencing freedom? One problem: This doesn't look like the 21st century, instead it looks like a scene from your favorite movie, in fact it looks exactly like your favorite movie.

How are you meant to survive in the murder capital of the world? With vampires of all things, and your sibling hates this movie.

a/n: prologue for this fanfic, this will also be on AO3 and wattpad. Preface for this, fuck Max :}

Reader: Male Reader, uses Y/N, third person.

Oc uses they/she pronouns. Will be using both, Y/n refers to them as both sibling and sister, which is okay

Fandom: The Lost Boys

Pairing(s): Michael Emerson x Reader, Paul x Reader, Dwayne x Reader, Marko x Reader, David x Reader, Sam Emerson x Nonbinary! Oc, Edgar Frog x Nonbinary! Oc, Alan Frog x Nonbinary! Oc,

It was one thing moving the United States to California by yourself, it was another thing bringing your 15-year-old sibling with you, not to live with you, but to stay just until summer was over and school was starting again, your parents believed it would help with their 'rebellious streak'. That streak being that they just don't care enough to do class work and keep staying up all night playing video games, therefore they fall asleep in class.

Nik had a firm belief in changing the radio whenever any song that they didn't like came on, and you had a firm belief that your sibling needed to shut up because you liked your music and if you had to drive without some good tunes you would probably turn into the next psycho on the news.

You two did listen to similar music, but for this trip it was specifically 80s and 90s songs that you shouted loudly, windows were rolled down because the air conditioner in your car didn't work. It was small and shitty and cost a year of pay, thankfully your parents were there to let you live rent free. One of the few things you could be thankful for.

"Do you know how to be quiet?" Your sibling groaned, their jacket wrapped around their body despite how hot it was, "Put on Hozier, or Doja, hell I'll even take Taylor Swift over this... What is this shit?"

'Cry little sister'

"I know damn well you aren't talking to me about my music taste-"

'Thou shall not fall'

"What's wrong with mine?"

Come, come to your brother

"It's literally only tiktok songs, half of them aren't even good."

'Thou shall not die'

"At least I don't say 'They sung this on Glee'"

'Unchain me, sister'

"Every hot, mentally ill, gay person went through a Glee faze."

Thou shall not fear

"I didn't"

'Love is with your brother'

"That's why I said hot."

'Thou shall not kill'

You quickly stuck your tongue out in a childish way, before looking back into the road, ignoring your sibling who mumbled and repeated your words. "Theres a reason we're heading to Santa Cruz. Found a nice place right near the beach so we can-"

"Sleep all day, and party all night. I know, you've said it hundreds of times." Nik had heard the phrase from you so many times, you had tried to show them your favorite movie, even almost tricked them into it, but they were quick to leave the room. They simply hated it because you loved it, something you were forced to accept about them.

The car ride became silent as you got closer, to fill it, Nik had turned up the radio as it switched to a different song.

"Finally some MJ." The beat of Billie Jean came in, causing you to start tapping your hands to it as your merged.

"She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene" The two of you belted the lyrics, switching over the 80s playlist to one consistently of Michael Jackson. "I said don't mind, but what do you mean, I am the one" you shook your head, "Who will dance" you turned to your sibling and sung the words to them before turning back, repeating it each time you sung, "on the floor" again "in the round?" and then turned back, "She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round"

The house that you bought with a loan wasn't the biggest, at least not compared to your parents house. Two bedrooms, One master and One guest, and 1 in a half bathrooms. The half bathroom was connected to the master bedroom, which Nik tried to get but was quickly locked out. They would be staying in the guest room, while you set it up they would help. They were also supposed to attempt to find a job this summer, as their parents wanted Nik to learn some responsibility.

"Okay, change outfits, shower if you need to! We are going to the beach!" You were excited, thrumming almost. You felt as if you belonged.

"I'm tired."

"Party all night!" You yelled, grabbing a suit case filled with your clothes. The two of you didn't have a lot. A few suitcases filled with clothes, and then a few boxes for the rooms. You didn't even have mattresses yet.

"Let's just sleep a bit." A nap did sound good, you didn't have the best sleep due to the anxiety about the drive.

"Fine, a nap! I'm setting an alarm." Nik went into your room, both of you grabbing the blankets and laying them on the floor, setting up some pillows and collapsing as soon as you could.

Instead of waking up to your alarm, you woke up to Nik shaking your shoulder, harsh rain hitting the window and the house was shaking.

"The doors are opening."

You stood up quick, running out of the bedroom to the backdoor refusing to close. You pushed against it but it quickly fell open, so you held the door. "Grab the heavy boxes." Nik followed through, pushing against the doors as lightning flashed. "It wasn't supposed to storm."

"Don't they get Hurricanes here." A siren went off, "Well-"

"Not another tornado." You groaned. You had your fair shair of them, being where your from. "We need to grab our shit, head to the basement."

The house shook again, you two grabbed your phones and chargers, rushing down into the basement that still had cobwebs. Nik almost ran upstairs at the sight of them, claiming they would rather take their chance with the tornado. You had to basically pulled them down as you two sat in the basement, the house shook as you two fell to the ground, hitting your heads.

Your eyes rolled back, your vision turns black as your body hits the ground. Your siblings hand lays against yours as their body falls onto you, and in that moment, you had gone through the impossible.

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