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#this whole scene continues to bring me endless joy
lynne-monstr · 10 months
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when you try to escape your captain but you’re not very good at it 1/?
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bukojuiice · 3 years
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—the lovey-dovey things they do with you while you're both stuck at home during quarantine
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ೃ chars: izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugo, shoto todoroki, eijiro kirishima and shinsou hitoshi x gn! reader
ೃ  tags: headcanons, fluff
ೃ  warnings: none!
ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist  → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau
ೃ  please do reblog if you enjoyed!! it really helps writers and content creators on tumblr!  
ೃ  if you want to be a part of my mha taglist. send me an ask!  ♡
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katsuki bakugo: cooking and baking with him! it all started on a cozy afternoon in April, you’re mindlessly scrolling through tiktok whilst cuddling with katsuki (your sparky bf practically asleep in your arms) when you stumbled upon some cute and interesting cooking videos appearing on your fyp. katsuki peers through your phone and groggily asks if you want to try out and attempt to make some of them and you immediately say yes!
the two of you start with something simple and basic, dalgona coffee! (even playfully arguing whether or not you should adding more whipped cream to your drinks or not), after that, you then take your culinary journey a bit further by making some baked sushi, cloud bread, and mini donut cereals among many other scrumptious delights! after a while, you decided to buy some matching “kiss the cook” aprons online and even started a tiktok account detailing all of the special twists katsuki made to the recipes (although he absolutely refused to make an account at first, with some probing and dozens of pouty faces and puppy eyes coming from his adorable significant other, he finally gives in) dancing and kisses in the kitchen, spreading flour on each other’s faces, leaving sneaky love notes by the fridge, and making each other coffee in the morning were just some of the little add-ons the two of you would do with each other.
izuku midoriya: online escape rooms and virtual museum tours! the national museum of japan were offering some free virtual tours around the museum and the two of you could not just pass up the opportunity to see all the intricate pieces being displayed in the museum. however, izuku wanted to experience something else that's similar to that and so, after seeing an ad on twitter for an virtual escape room experience, izuku excitedly told you about it. jumping and hopping around like a little bunny and you couldn’t help but agree as seeing him so happy and so excited for something will never fail to make your heart flutter. the two of you immediately book a reservation and even bring out your virtual reality gears for the full immersive experience. you’re clinging to his arm the whole time as you virtually traverse a horror escape game and your freckled boyfriend tries his best to be brave just for you.
with both of your intelligent and inquisitive minds combined together, with the occasional soft couple bickering, and having to listen to izuku murmur to himself for several minutes,  the two of you solved 7 escape rooms (for a week straight) in a span of three hours each. the two of you take turns in doing the tasks of the game, and whoever fails to do so, has to do the other person’s bidding for the entire day. although the two of you could never force the other to do any mean-spirited dares to each other, most of the bidding you told each other to do were peppering each other kisses on the cheek, long and warm hugs, choosing the movie for the night, cuddling in the bed and holding hands among many other things.
todoroki shoto: binging movies and tv shows on netflix with him! this was the perfect opportunity to help your icy-hot boyfriend finally indulge in everything pop culture. and what better way to do so than on netflix and other streaming sites? the two of you end up watching every romantic movie dear to your heart. mixed with bed or couch cuddles, blankets wrapped around the two of you, a lot of cheesy and loving whispers said, and paired with some comfort food you ordered online. your watching area varied. sometimes the two of you would watch in the bedroom, living room, and sometimes you would even make a pillow fort with dangling fairy lights attached to it filling the tent with fluffy stuff toys to lie on just so that the two of you can watch on the floor.
shoto cried when the two of you finished watching the notebook and the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. and all you did the entire night was give him all the hugs and kithes you could provide him. ever since then, the two of you opt for more light-hearted movies. rom-coms, disney movies and sitcoms where he endlessly referenced iconic lines from friends, the office, how i met your mother, and brooklyn 99. the days in quarantine go by with the two of you just mindlessly singing and dancing along to disney songs, rewatching rom-coms for the umpteenth time, reenacting some scenes from iconic movies with dry yet hilarious acting, and just discussing movie theories whenever he cutely and innocently asks you about some small details he missed every time you finish watching a movie for the day
eijiro kirishima: training and exercise routines with him! your shark-toothed boyfriend is a fitness buff through and through. to the point that a room in your house dedicated to just gym and fitness equipment exists. but when quarantine struck the world and your lovely home, you slightly lost your motivation to work out. eijiro continues to encourage you to do so ofc! with the two of you occasionally going outside to jog but aside from that, nothing much else. when he catches you watching a chloe ting video on youtube, he scoops you up from the couch, and you giggle trying to tell him to put you down yet he refuses to do so, as he carries you all the way to your little gym room. you notice that there are yoga mats sprawled about and since then, the two of you would do a lot of yoga as it has been proven to decrease anxiety. sometimes the two of you would get distracted and start dancing to the exercise music, accompanied endless laughter and giggles when kirisihima would do his daily planking exercise with you sitting on top of him as he does so.
there were also times when the two of you were so tired and sore. so you would give each other loving massages, there were also times when the two of you would just sleep it out or just lounge in the bed. excercise couldn’t stop your cravings and so, and there were also times when the two of you would do some food mukbangs you’ve been craving for recently.
shinsou hitoshi: playing video games with him and taking care of your little pet kitten! right before quarantine started, shinsou surprised you with a pet little kitten that the two of you decided to name gigi, named after the cat from kiki’s delivery service. the two of you always running around the house as if you were parents to a newly-born baby, watching your cute little kitten frolicking around, touching and interacting with everything he could find. after watching some “cat parents” videos on youtube and learning some tips, you attempt to give it a bath, resulting into a very wet failure. with the only time you can feel peace and quiet was when gigi was asleep or whenever he would be drinking his vet-approved milk. your quarantine life was hectic and chaotic but taking care of a cute little bundle of joy with your equally loving and handsome boyfriend... well, life couldn’t get any better than this.
when you were finally able to get the hang of the cat parents life, you and shinsou finally found the time to rest and relax by playing video games. may it be a horror, action, adventure, rhythm, or fantasy game, you were always playing with him. maybe as a player 2 or just as the supportive significant other who helped him solve puzzles, make story game choices that could change the game, and even help him with the buttons if he was trying to fight some hard boss. whenever there are jumps cares in the game, he would hold your hand and give you reassuring pats. whenever the two of you would play against each other on the other hand, he has his arms wrapped around you, with you still being extremely focused at the game at hand, he would give you pecks on the cheek to try and make you distracted so that he can win. your little pet kitten, gigi, sleeping on the couch as the two of you play to your heart’s content.
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ೃ taglist: @chibishae34​  @lovelytarou​ @ramunegoddess​, @serossimpy @laudthingcat​​
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edgeofmyniall · 3 years
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The Arrival: Part Two
taglist | masterlist | 
trigger warning: descriptive telling of a miscarriage
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The warm air hits Niall like a sudden force that kicks him in the stomach. His hand still lingers on the crook of Penelope’s back and he knows all too well that his heart is screaming for her. One look from her and he feels like he could vomit. 
It had always been that way for him when it came to Penelope Myers. She could make his thoughts dizzy, his heart sing, and his stomach knot with one singular look. If love was illegal, he would forever be in the top ten most wanted criminal in the world. He was absolutely, without a doubt, still in love with Poppy. 
Until he started to notice that Poppy cared for more of the material things than himself. Her gaze would linger on the necklaces and rings that he presented her when she thanked him. She could not stop praising the new car that sat in the garage when she called her mom. It was him that worked hard and gave Poppy the nicer things in life. And she failed to respect him in the way that Niall seemed fit. 
She was shallow, only loving him for the diamond on her hand and the car she drives.  
“How have you two been?” Amelia asks as her drink slings against the carpet. Clearly under the buzz of wine, she pulls both Niall and Poppy into a forced hug, letting her Yorkshire accent free from her imprisonment. The pretend couple look at one another before Amelia lets her grip go, forcing smiles on their faces. “Been a lot of rumors going about… a divorce, an affair? Not the two of you, I say,” Amelia smiles, genuinely believing her friends were still together. “Aren’t you two trying to have a baby?” 
Poppy cradles her torso in an unconscious decision-grief swallowing her whole. Niall presses his hand tighter around Poppy’s back, pulling her closer to him. They had been, trying, to say the least. Until one night Poppy woke up with bloody sheets and her torso feeling as if it’s been ripped open. Niall grieved only for a few weeks that his wife miscarried, but Poppy still grieves in silence. 
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Three Years Ago
“Niall,” Poppy whined, her stomach feeling torn to shreds. She had woken from a deep slumber to the intense pain that scratched and clawed at her torso. She felt weak, both physically and mentally. She thought it might have been the food she had eaten for dinner, but it was more than that. She felt the loss move through her body. She moved her legs closer to her chest trying relieve the pain somehow. “Niall, please… I-”
“What is it?” Niall sat up, leaning on one arm as he turned toward his wife whose tears had soaked into her pillow. “What’s wrong?” Niall tries to wrap his arm around Poppy’s shaking body when he feels the dampness on the sheets. Quickly he turns on the lamp beside the bed and tosses the white sheets off Poppy’s body. The dark red liquid had stained the entirety of Poppy’s side of the bed. In the scene of life or death, Niall watches his wife lose the greatest joy she had. Still crouched in the fetal position, Penelope screams out as another wave of pain courses through her body. Her back muscles were tight contracting with the pain as her lower abdomen pulsates its muscles with the pain. Niall’s heart races as he becomes frantic. His breathing is erratic as he scoops his wife into his arms and carries her downstairs. 
“Please, please, please not the baby,” was the only thing that ran across his mind.
“It hurts, Niall. I can’t-” Poppy tries to speak through the tears and the gut wrenching pain, but fails as she buries her head into Niall’s chest as she cries. 
“Baby, shhh, it’ll be alright,” Niall lied, panic rising in his chest, trying his best to soothe his wife. He awkwardly opens the back seat of his car and lays Poppy down gently before racing back up the stairs to grab his phone. 
“Sam, get an emergency cleaning crew to my house as soon as fucking possible,” Niall tries to steady his request, but it comes off more as a demand. “I’m taking Penelope to the ER. Cancel all my meetings for tomorrow or today or what the fuck ever day it is. My wife lost my child and I- '' Niall screams into the empty house as tears fall down his face. His body shakes as he hits his fist into the wall, putting a hole into the painted drywall. “I got to go.” Niall shoves the phone into the pocket of his checkered pajama pants and flies to the nearest emergency room.
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“Sir,” the doctor, a young and fairly new attendant, walks into the room. She carries herself in a way that one would when delivering bad news. Niall had been waiting in the hard metal chair while Poppy was rushed into the operating room. “Your wife has lost a lot of blood and she could have lost her life if you hadn’t made it here in time.”
“What about the baby?” Niall’s eyes wide as he takes in the unspoken words. He could read between the lines. “What about my baby?”
“The fetus did not make it,” the doctor’s face scrunched as she tried to break the life changing news. She tried so hard to stop her own tears from falling. “Penelope wasn’t far along and in the first trimester there is-”
“Eighty percent chance that a miscarriage could happen. I know, I researched everything when Poppy told me.” Niall hung his head and wept as the doctor stood in the solidary of Niall’s grief. “Is my wife okay? Did she make it?” Niall’s voice cracked at the thought of losing his best friend. His life would be shambles if he ever lost Poppy. 
“She’s in the recovery room asking for you. Penelope, it seems that she does have polycystic ovarian syndrome. It’s a condition that affects her hormone levels. Penelope has more male hormones than she should. PCOS makes it hard for women to become pregnant…”
“We had a hard time… We had an appointment to start with In Vetro, but then she was pregnant by some miracle,” Niall looked at the speckled white floor tiles, trying to steady his voice. 
“The high levels of testosterones caused the miscarriage. Mister Horan,” the doctor crossed her hands in front of her body. “I’m sorry for your loss.” Niall knew the doctor was truly sincere when she apologized, but nothing, no words, could bring his growing baby back.  
Niall’s trek to the recovery room seemed never ending. He wanted to reach his wife and to hold her close so badly that the white walls and floors of the hospital were an endless maze. Niall curses at the barriers that are keeping him from his wife, his best friend, that needed him. He tried so hard to hold himself together when he saw his wife, laying in a stiff hospital bed hooked up to beeping monitors. He watched her heart rate continuously flash across the screen. He held her hand, still soft and gentle just like the first time he held her hand. 
“I’m sorry,” Poppy said. Her eyes were still closed and heavy from the pain medication, but she knew the warmth of her husband’s hand. “It’s all my fault. My body... I-” Poppy’s voices cracked under the weight of her words. Everything she tried to say was too burdensome to speak.  The invisible barrier between them was overshadowing both of them and Niall had already begun to crack under it. 
“No. No, no, no,” Niall repeated as he pushed the wet, sticky tendrils of  light colored hair out of Poppy’s face, his voice finally cracking. He tried to be strong for his wife when she was at her weakest, but the sight of one of the strongest people he knew lying in a bed in grief that consumed her broke him. It was not her fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but maybe his own. If he would have watched more closely for the signs, anything, he might have prevented this from happening. Pale and sickly cold with sweat, Niall smiles at the angel with dark circles under her eyes as if she was the inspiration of the Mona Lisa. Poppy swallows hard as she brings her husband’s hand to her lips, the touch of his hand to her skin causes another wave of tears. She had failed him and the baby. “We’ll try again.”
“We’re...giving it some time,” Poppy dances on the right words to say. She dares not speak of anything that might give any indication of what’s happened. She curses herself for living a secret life.
“Ah, well, it’ll come. All good things come when in their own time, innit that right, Niall? The business hasn’t been doing well, yeah?” Amelia’s eyes flicker with sarcasm as Niall swallows his anger. He knew deep down that Amelia had always been jealous of his success- the way that the business skyrocketed when the firm had helped their country in the decrease of pollution. He wants to say what he’s really thinking, what he really thinks of Amelia and her winery, but instead, he only gives back what Amelia dished. 
“Same could be said for you and Maxwell? Or is it Josh this week?” Amelia laughs, hurt and anger flash across her face, a look that would kill Niall where he stood. Poppy nudges Niall with her elbow and whispers, “Be nice” after Amelia disappears to fetch the unlucky lad of the week.
“I am. Being nice. Did you hear what she said about the business? Jesus Christ I could twist her head off. Ah, here is the lucky man. Name’s Niall.” Niall extends his hand out to the tall, tanned male who looks to belong in a magazine. His blonde hair is gelled back with a tiny curl swooping down his forehead. He flashes his teeth when he smiles. 
“Jayden. Nice to meet you and Miss?” Jayden almost bows as he looks at Poppy. “Mrs. Poppy, Niall’s...wife.” The word is a lie and it tastes bitter in Poppy’s mouth. She wishes she could get used to the taste by now, but it still is just the same. Poppy looks at Jayden, who is still holding her hand. Niall clears his throat as he pulls Poppy closer to him. 
“Leave your luggage by the door,” Amelia says before folding her arm around Jayden’s and showing them Justin’s home. As if they actually needed it. It was only to show off that the successful business couple came back to their roots, even if for a little while.
“Now, tell me,” Amelia whispered when Niall wandered over to the bar to collect a bottle of bourbon, “I saw a ginger hussie standing over Niall with her breasts all out when I came by the office one day to drop off some of my samples. I tried putting in the code on the gate at your house, but it wouldn’t work, but you would know that if you ever returned my calls.”
“Sorry about that, Millie, I’ve been busy with the magazine. Niall said she’s the new intern.” Poppy hates the taste of lies, boiling inside her as she spews one after another. 
“Well, she was all over him, and Niall was eating that shit up. I swear, I almost threw the bitch off the balcony meself.” Amelia’s brow furrowed as she looked up to her friend. “If the rumors are true…”
“No!” Poppy said a little too quickly and loudly, “I mean, no they aren’t. I trust Niall. He knows what he comes home to.” Poppy smiles reassuringly, but doubts her words. Does he really know her the way that Poppy does? Poppy only disciplines herself for ever believing that she knew Niall. She never did.
“Well, I trust you. I know that you would never lie to me cuz you’re me best friend, and I love you so fuckin’ much,” Amelia’s words slurred as brought her friend in for another hug. Poppy’s heart sank as the lies burned in her mouth. She could never take them back, and if her friend ever found out, their trust would be severed and the domino effect would begin. 
“I just hate that we’re together again under these circumstances. Justin was…” Poppy tried to find the words to describe what Justin meant to her. He had been her friend throughout college, and they had been close until the divorce. She was angry at Justin for keeping his cancer a secret from her for so long. She wanted to help, but Justin reassuringly let her know that unless she held the power of God, that there wasn’t anything that she could do. 
“Amazing, to say the least,” Amelia finished her friend’s sentence. Poppy looked over to Niall who stood next to Alex with a smile wide across his face. He was firmly gripping his glass of red wine when he looked over to his ex-wife and felt an old happiness and yearning for her. He swallowed the feeling down as he sipped his wine, cursing himself for letting his guard down. He still loved her. 
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Two Years Ago
“Where were you last night?” Poopy asks, her hands crossed against her chest. “Where the fuck were you?” She cocks a brow as she looks at her husband who remained silent. The cold grey morning seeped into the pale white living room where the two were standing. Niall had only just come inside when Poppy stood at the base of the stairs. Her eyes, rimmed with red from worry and tears, watches her husband as he tosses his briefcase to the floor. 
“I was out, alright?” Niall sighed as he looked Poppy in her swollen eyes. He didn’t call her. Not even after the floods of texts and calls, Niall never once picked up his phone.
“Where?” Poppy asks, her voice sharp as a knife. She could feel the tears brimming over the edge of her lids and her mouth formed a frown. She thought of the worst.
“I was at the office late with reports,” Niall walked over to Poppy kissing her temple as he pulled her close. “I fell asleep. I should have called.”
“I was…” Poppy folded her arms around her husband and sighed, “I was so worried.” Poppy's head rests inside the crook of Niall’s neck and as she breathes in her husband, she breathes in the musk of a perfume she didn’t recognize.
“I’m going to take a shower and then we can go see your mother, okay?” Niall asked as he let his embrace go. It was foreign to her now. Who was this Niall standing in front of her now? The faint outline of red lipstick still stained his skin where she kissed him. It was smudged, like Niall had tried to vigorously rub the act of possession away.
“Yeah, sure.”
One by one, the two are reunited with old friends that they had lost contact with over the years. Each time, the two forced smiles and laughter for shared memories and explanations. No one dares to address the rumors that the couple are no longer together. That would mean facing the truth and digging up each lie they’ve spoken over the past year. Hours passed and the two felt as if they had finally come home after wandering around for years. Niall steals a quick glance from Poppy who is laughing at a joke that Jayden said. He wants to rescue her as he watches her subtly flirt with the stranger. His fear of losing Poppy had come true, by his own demise, but here in the warm fire scented room, he felt that he could lose Poppy all over again.  
“Where’s our rooms?” Niall finally asks after sharing a chardonnay with Alex, Justin’s long time girlfriend. Alex tried to keep the wine from coming up when Niall asked his question. Niall felt the secret becoming like loose strands the longer he stood there in front of his friends.
“Rooms? You and Poppy only need one, unless…”
“No, none of it’s true. Just misspoke is all,” Niall swallows the last of the wine in hopes of the conversation and upcoming questions dying. The bottle of unopened bourbon still stands on their suitcases waiting for Niall’s lips to taste. 
“Last door on the left upstairs. The usual room,” Alex cocks a brow when Niall strides over to Poppy and pulls her in the direction of the luggage. 
“Grab your bags and let’s go,” Niall breathes hard, angry at himself for letting the one word almost unravel the lie they’re both living. “We’re in our old room.”
“One room? We’re sharing?” Poppy asks as she pulls the handle out of her rolling suitcase. “Are you sure?”
“They don’t know, Penelope,” he growls, looking Poppy in the eyes before trudging upstairs leaving Poppy to her own demise. 
They don’t know.
She has to repeat this to herself, reminding her that while life moved forward for the two of them, their friends are stuck in the past. 
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taglist: @niallerlover​, @yourpolaroid07,  @militrybarbi  
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moralitas · 3 years
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Fallen Angel: Destiel scene but Sonadow
Little collaboration between myself, @teamxdark​, and @nutkin​!
We all saw the destiel scene and went “okay but sonadow” and what started as a joke got a ficlet and some art.
I was told to @mintywhisker​ bc I think they inadvertently started this for us.
Sketch was by Nutkin, lineart/coloring by myself, and writing by teamxdark!
Shadow heaved a breath, his brain fuzzy from exertion. Warping the ARK back into orbit had been a herculean task, and he was already feeling his body pay the price. The universe around him blurred and swam in front of his eyes, with the stars disappearing into the endless void of space.
Space around him seemed so vast and Shadow felt so small. The Ultimate Lifeform felt like less than nothing in between a world, a colony, and the universe itself.
Yet Sonic was larger than life somehow.
The other hedgehog was still grasping at his hand, jubilant at their victory. Shadow could sense his joy, could see it in the bright pulses of light that seemed to come off of him in waves. In the middle of everything, Sonic shone stronger, glowed warmer, burned brighter than the sun. Shadow could feel his energy seeping far and wide, revitalizing him by a fraction, enough to focus his sight and his thoughts again.
Sonic was like life itself, condensed into one singular magnificent being.
Shadow knew now, more than ever, that he was a goner.
It didn’t make logical sense. He knew that. But almost nothing about this situation made logical sense. How did someone hold the power to Chaos Control with a fake emerald? How did someone manage to retain their super from after such a major effort, while Shadow, the Ultimate Lifeform, created to hold and manipulate Chaos Energy as part of his purpose, was struggling?
Sonic was stronger than Shadow.
Sonic was stronger than Shadow.
And sometimes you didn’t need logic to know that your other half, your soulmate, the one that held your heart was right there in front of you.
Shadow felt his strength continue to ebb, and he wanted to do one thing right in his life. He wanted closure. He wanted solace.
He wanted to be.
“Sonic.”
Glowing red eyes turned to him, eyes strong with life and power and warmth. Shadow felt himself get pulled in, and his tongue loosened, letting his thoughts fall free from his lips.
“When Maria died… I wondered if I could ever be happy again.”
Sonic’s face morphed into a look of confusion. Shadow wasn’t deterred. After all, it didn’t really matter the outcome of his speech.
He wasn’t going to last much longer.
“I always wondered, ever since I saw that moment, that awful moment, I wondered… If I ever could feel it again. What true happiness could feel like. I never found an answer, because the one thing I want… I can never have.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Something I know I can’t have."
Maria… I always wanted you to come back. I didn’t know how to live without you.
Shadow heaved a sigh. That was the easy part. Now for the hard part.
Sonic’s hand was still warm around his own. Shadow gathered his courage and continued.
“But I think I know… I think I know now. What could make me happy again. Happiness… isn’t always in ‘having’.” Shadow’s eyes reopened, but nothing came into focus. Sonic, brilliant and glorious, was a golden blur that his eyes savored. “It can be in ‘being’. It can be in just… saying it.”
“What are you talking about, Shadow?” Sonic sounded confused. Sonic sounded concerned.
Shadow kept going regardless. It was now or never. He would not die with these thoughts bottled up.
“I know… I know how I’ve been. How I’ve presented myself, to you and everyone else. Destructive, and angry, and broken, and… and the professor’s weapon to wield. That hate and anger… that’s what drove me. Like that was who I am. But it’s not.” Shadow took in another breath, but the fog in his head was seeping in and refusing to clear. “This whole time… I was driven by love. Everything I have ever done, the good and the bad, I have done for love. Love for someone I would never see again.”
Shadow could feel the energy begin to die in his body, feel the power inside him drain and dissipate, but he pushed on, determined to see this through. “And then I saw you, and I know… I know you’re the same. You guide your friends for love, you fought for this whole world for love… That is who you are.” His fingers squeezed Sonic’s, indulging in the warm energy that exuded from his grasp. “You are the most caring man on earth, you are the most selfless, loving person… that I will ever know again.”
Maria would have loved you.
Shadow blinked, and a few tears fell. Sonic remained silent, and Shadow couldn’t see his face in between the tears and the blurriness of his vision, but it didn’t matter. Whether reciprocated or not, Shadow wouldn’t be alive to see the consequences of his confession. 
“You know, ever since we met, ever since I first fought you, knowing you has changed me.” A silent laugh escaped his lips, and Shadow felt the tug of gravity begin to bring him down. “Because you’ve proven everything I thought to be true to be wrong. I learned that the world is not filled with nothing but cruelty, I learned that I was not alone in my power, I learned that caring for others was not something that held me back from what I was really supposed to be fighting for all along… A world where people could be happy and safe.” His mind flashed to Rouge, and their unfortunate final conversation. He hoped that she knew that he held no ill will against her. “I think I’ve discovered, now, what the Ultimate Lifeform is. I think… it might be you.” And that’s why I know the world will be safe with you. I know I can trust you with Maria’s final wish. “You changed me, Sonic.” Shadow’s head swam with dizziness and his soul sang with emotion, too many to identify and appreciate in the moment. He took a few more breaths, but they did nothing to bring clarity to his mind.
“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”
Sonic’s voice finally made its way to Shadow’s ears, and Shadow felt himself smile, in spite of himself. His words weren’t falling on deaf ears, and though his mind was too far gone to tell what Sonic was feeling, he was pretty sure he could feel a few tears that weren’t his own fall onto his arm as gravity pulled mercilessly at his legs.
He could hope, but again, it didn’t really matter now if his feelings were reciprocated or not.
“Because it is.”
He felt it now, the coldness of space, the hollowness that spread as his super form gave out, and the only thing keeping him suspended in the air was Sonic’s grip around his
wrist. Shadow closed his eyes, not planning on reopening them. It was now. His final truth, to be said before all, yet only to be heard by one.
“I love you.”
And he felt his heart pick up speed, because this was a new love, unlike the one he had felt for Maria, unlike the one that had been growing with Rouge. This was a love that he had only ever heard about before, a love that he always considered as something that belonged in the stories Maria had read to him when he was still young and growing and learning about everything around him. A love that he wanted to bask in, like the sun’s rays, or like Sonic’s unyielding brilliance.
He felt his wrist begin to slip as the inhibitor ring loosened. Sonic still said nothing, but Shadow didn’t mind. It was a lot to take in, and perhaps it was better this way. Shadow could die, not burdened by the sting of rejection or the longing for what he could have if he had managed to pull through.
His wrist slipped even more, and he felt Sonic jolt. “Shadow, wait--”
“Sayonara… Sonic the Hedgehog…”
Gravity claimed him. Shadow hardly noticed when his hand slipped free of the ring. He felt himself plummet, yet he felt the lightest he ever had in his life. He had fulfilled his promise to Maria. He had protected the world from his own mistakes, and found someone to keep it safe in his absence.
He had fallen in love.
As he fell into the atmosphere, burning upon entry, feeling as though he were surrounded by hellfire, Shadow the Hedgehog had no regrets.
He only felt happiness.
Some minutes later, on board the ARK, Sonic clutched at Shadow’s ring as he stared out into space. The others had scattered, talking to each other and making sense of what had happened, and what would happen next. Sonic knew that they had questions, they had concerns, all of them, Amy, Rouge, Knuckles, his brother… but he wasn’t ready to face them. Not yet.
Sonic heaved a breath, fogging up the window in front of him. The loss stung him more than he could possibly fathom in that moment, still fresh and new. He was alone in the observation deck, now. He squeezed the ring in his grasp, making a mental note to pass it on to Rouge. He wasn’t…
He wasn’t ready to hold it for the rest of his life. He wasn’t ready to be reminded of…
“Sayonara… Shadow the Hedgehog…”
Sonic left the room, and didn’t look back.
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beckydoesthings · 3 years
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various fics of hxl that i adore reading! this list is quite lengthy, but feel free to message me if you have any questions!
*will continue to be updated. also, if i mistagged you, i apologize, i do not know how to tumblr*
Love Is a Rebellious Bird
E | 134k | @100percentsassy and gloria_andrews
AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.
Don't hum Bolero.
i think this tickled every bone of my musical self and also made me cry (are you seeing a theme here??) one of the first fics i fell in love with and one i keep coming back to.
Collision
E | 226k | @tequiladimples
Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.
(Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)
the world building in this one is insanity - so much good mythology mixed in and it made me screech with joy. i think i can firmly say that i did not expect where the plot went, but that made the story so much better.
Flour and Chocolate
M | 145k | @danosphere91
It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.
Then he approached the display cabinet.
And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.
What. The. Fuck?
Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.
OR
Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.
the miscommunication in this fic is SO REAL and makes for a good read. the rest of the flour and chocolate series is also fantastic. i thoroughly enjoyed both the ziam and ed/niall arcs that bring the whole story together.
run away home
E | 106k | @hattalove
Louis stands, in the middle of a clearing with his hands in his pockets, and stares. This boy—God, this gorgeous, gorgeous boy. He seems so clumsy, confused at the best of times, but there’s a wisdom about him as he speaks, a maturity that belies his age.
Louis is hopelessly, wildly attracted to him.
or, louis is a successful jockey down on his luck, struggling to get his life back on track after an injury. harry has a horse, a house fit for a prince, and a broken heart.
it takes them a while to figure out that they need each other.
this makes my inner horse girl extraordinarily happy - even if i don’t know anything about horse racing. louis’ story in this is beautiful and makes the whole piece worth a read.
waiting for the tides to meet
E | 60k | @nauticalleeds
Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.
Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.
Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.
Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.
gorgeous soulmate AU that gives me summer cruising vibes. worth the read for the lettuce scene alone (i kid, i kid)
Do Not Go Gentle
E | 70k | @afirethatcannotdie
“This is all a game to you, isn’t it? Well, it’s not for me. This is a real life or death situation,” Louis says, spitting the words at him. “And I just don’t think you’re cut out for it.”
For a moment, they stare at each other in complete silence. Harry can feel his blood thrumming between his ears, can see Louis glaring at him, feels red-hot anger. And then all he feels, oppressively and desperately, is lust.
Suddenly Louis is surging up to him to press his lips against Harry’s. Harry walks the two of them backwards, pressing Louis back against the door. Louis oomphs in surprise and brings his hands under Harry’s scrub top, scratching at his lower back.
“Lock — oh — lock the… fucking door,” Louis mutters.
When Harry Styles starts his first day as a surgical intern, he expects a lot of things: to treat patients, to observe a surgery, to feel a bit overwhelmed. What he definitely doesn't expect, however, is that the handsome guy he kicked out of his bed this morning is also an intern.
A Grey’s Anatomy AU where tensions are high, Harry and Louis are hooking up in secret, and no one has time for love. Or do they?
okay i’ve watched maybe 3 episodes of Gray’s Anatomy, but i feel like this encompasses the vibe of the show: medical stuff with a hefty dose of angst and sexual tension
Falling For Me Won’t Be A Mistake
M | 58k | @all-these-larrythings
Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn't know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he's ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.
one of my favorite mpreg fics so if that’s not your cup of tea, then don’t read it. i love surgeon harry with a vengeance, but honestly Gems and Niall are iconic in this one.
Watching the World Fall
E | 11k | @crazyupsetter why won’t it let me tag :(
This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.
“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”
It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.
“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.
“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”
i have a soft spot the size of Antarctica for Late Late AU fics (we stan James Corden) and for exes to lovers so this checks all the boxes.
autumn leaves
E | 27k | @suspendrs
“Brave?” Harry frowns, caught off guard. “No, not particularly.”
“You seem brave,” Louis decides, pushing off the wall and stepping on the butt of his cigarette. “You are strong, and you are not mean. That’s good,” he assures, touching Harry’s arm gently.
“Thank you, but that’s not true,” Harry smiles ruefully. “I’m really not anything special.”
Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.
love love french AUs and while this one isn’t sunshine and rainbows, it’s a beautiful yet heart wrenching piece. warning for period typical homophobia
caught up in your love affair
NR | 8k | @disgruntledkittenface
“And the corgis took to you straightaway,” Harry remarks.
“That’s true,” Louis chuckles.
 “I’ve spent the last 29 years being barked at,” Harry deadpans, jerking his hand toward Louis, “this one walks in, absolutely nothing.”
Louis outright giggles at that, saying, “They were just lying on my feet during tea.”
“Wagging tails,” Harry says, shaking his head.
“It’s because they don’t understand flirting,” Louis tells him, “you can’t charm them the way you do everyone else.”
Royal AU. Prince Harry announces his engagement to Louis Tomlinson in an interview with longtime friend and BBC host Nick Grimshaw. Inspired by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
just. 8k of royal fluff. that’s literally it and i adore it so much.
Apples Always Fall (As I Do For You)
M | 54k | @rainbowsandgucci
”Due to unforeseen circumstances, help is needed here at the orchard for the impending apple season. Looking for someone able to start within the next week or two at the most, is willing to do whatever miscellaneous tasks are needed, such as picking & packing apples, running the cash register, and other handywork that may need to be done. Must be good with customers, and able to lift up to 50lbs. Help will be needed until at the least the end of October. Please contact the number found on this page, or come out to the orchard and ask for Harry. All the love xx” --- Louis is staying at his Aunt's farm in a small town in Minnesota for four months. To deal with the boredom that sets in a week into his stay, he starts working at the local apple orchard, owned by twenty six year old Harry Styles. Louis quickly finds himself falling in love with the orchard, and he finds a family in Harry's friends Niall, Liam, and Zayn. He also starts to fall in love with Harry. Falling in love with him turns out to be the easy part.
i never thought i would enjoy an apple orchard fic?? but it’s so good?? farmer harry makes me laugh to think about, but the heartbreak in this fic is so. real.
Mine Would Be You
E | 114k | @crinkle-eyed-boo
Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.
Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.
Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.
Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?
exes to lovers drama but make it extra sad. the fact that we see so many facets to this story just makes it all the more painful, yet beautiful. this fic also reminds me of how much i love one mister niall horan.
One for Luck
E | 96k | @leavingonatrain
The very first time Louis remembers hearing Harry Styles' deep, deep voice, he's just won gold at the World Equestrian Games and he's officially back on Great Britain's Olympic team. He's also three sheets to the wind, drunk on victory and champagne, and there's a gorgeous boy whispering in his ear. Life's grand.
(AU: Louis and Harry are professional riders on the British Olympic team.)
again, i know nothing about horses, but i like to pretend i do for the sake of this fic. it’s beautiful, it’s smutty what else could you ask for?
Nothing But You On My Mind
E | 83k | @absoloutenonsense
Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.
i absolutely. definitely. sobbed tears at this fic. it’s just so beautifully painful to read. don’t want to spoil anything, but this is a must.
Adore You
M | 67k | @isthatyoularry
“We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer.
Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.
Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.
i strongly relate to harry in this one! one of my favorite historical AUs and honestly i love the thought of louis in well fitting suits.
leave it to the breeze
E | 81k | @hattalove
Louis couldn’t be prouder of his bake, but there’s something—there’s something. Something about Harry Styles and the earnest way he measures, pours, mixes, scrapes. Something about the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he knocks the air out of his batter.
or a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people's business. also featuring liam as louis's best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur.
i. love. the. great british baking show. baking + h&l is amazing. and another reminder as to why niall is the absolute best.
Paint The Sky With Stars
M | 62k | @icanhazzalou grrr let me tag
On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom.
Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform.
By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help.
Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.
Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.
gorgeous historical fic that’s so accurate and painstakingly written. i keep coming back to it!
When It’s Late At Night
M | 25k | @all-these-larrythings
Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that's exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.
Or
The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.
remember when i said i love Late Late AUs? yeah. i love that louis gives absolutely zero shits in this fic until he gives all the shits.
Chasing Empty Spaces
E | 79k | @domestic-harry
The year is 1934 and Harry Styles was to inherent the largest tobacco firm in the south. His parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. The problem was, Harry hadn’t realized he didn’t actually want any part of that future until he met a mechanic named, Louis Tomlinson.
gorgeous historical AU that goes through Harry’s struggle with his sexuality wonderfully. this one also made me cry.
Resist Everything Except Temptation
E | 100k | @domestic-harry
The lethargic sound of heels clicking against wood resonated across the sea. Footsteps descended the staircase, every assured step creating a menacing aura as it grew closer. Perspiration gathered along Louis’ palms as the rhythmic sound halted in front of him.
“Captain,” Malik greeted.
Louis watched out of his peripheral as Malik’s boots shuffled back a few steps. Sweat matted the hair along the nape of Louis’ neck as he waited for something to happen. He felt as if a sharp blade was twisting his gut as the silence became tangible. There was a metallic slide of a sword being pulled out of its sheath, the sound startling Louis out of his cocoon of sterile shock. His shoulders jumped as the tip of a blade flattened underneath his jaw. Louis’ distorted reflection stared back at him in the polished metal. Engraved rose petals twisted his appearance as they crawled up the length of the sword. The sword lifted and took Louis’ chin with it.
Standing in front of Louis was Captain Styles.
OR
The one where Louis is the commodore's son who is forced to become a part of Harry's crew when he is captured.
love this pirate AU that’s got one badass gemma styles. also, harry as a super cool pirate in gorgeous clothes makes me super happy!
i’ll make this feel like home
E | 49k
Harry to groans himself and then takes a deep breath. “Okay, well. Here’s the thing. I peed on a stick.”
Louis isn’t able to get more than a shocked “What!” out before Harry’s steamrolling on.
“I peed on a stick and it says it’s positive, but you always prattle on about how it’s best to go to the doctor’s before you get excited, you know to confirm it because sometimes hormones are off or you have like a tumor or some shit and get false positives and what if I’m dying and-”
“You’re pregnant?!” Louis shouts out, stomach dropping as the words leave his mouth.
“Um, yeah… maybe.”
[the one where Louis' hopelessly in love with his best mate... who just happens to be pregnant with another man's baby.]
baby momma harry with hot mess!Louis is a recipe for disaster, but this one has plenty of fluff to make up for it.
Hands Clasped Tight
E | 44k | @afirethatcannotdie
“What am I looking at here?” Harry asks.
“This, my friends, is a ‘proof’ Instagram account, run by your students,” Liam announces.
“It’s got all this stuff about how the two of you are together,” Niall adds.
“I heard about that,” says one of the math teachers. “Confiscated a kid’s phone today when they were looking at it. I have to say, the evidence that you’re dating is pretty damning.”
“Really,” Louis says dryly. “Do you think being married for three years might have something to do with it?”
Or the one where Harry and Louis are high school teachers and their students have been playing matchmaker for over a year. Little do they know, Harry and Louis are already married.
love love teacher harry and louis that’s mostly funny fluff with a little angst. just a teeny amount. reminds me of my own experiences with meddling students haha.
*updated 2/16/21*
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morkofday · 3 years
Note
Now that this hell year is almost over let’s celebrate the good things! If you’re receiving this it means you have made someone’s year better. Tell who on tumblr has made this year better for you (as many people as you like, it can be something as small as liking your posts or sending something sweet) and share some of the content you’ve enjoyed (your own or others)
thank you so much dear anon! ♥ I am happy to know that I’ve managed to make someone’s year at least a tiny bit better :’) as a year on tumblr, this year has been very special to me personally so am happy to know that someone has felt that too!
this is going to be a huge list so be warned! putting it under the cut bc of that~
@i-am-just-a-kiddo you are and will always be on this list first and foremost. you and our friendship is the best thing I have gotten from this hellsite and I continue being thankful for it ♥ I always have so much fun talking to you, you support me so unconditionally, share things with me and allow me to just yell about things every day! you never get bored of that endless stream of random nonsense I pour on you and it means so much to me ♥ I also feel honored to share your things, to see your paintings and read your writings and just be there for you. let’s hope the next year will be kinder to us and the world in general! and hey, maybe you get into guardian at some point heh (and thank you for getting into so many things with me this year already!)
@leonzhng I think I said this at some point too but you were the reason why I got into this community we have going on with @mdzsnet and gave me the confidence to just approach ppl here and love things together ♥ you are always so sweet and kind and lovable and I appreciate you doing all the things you do. your edits are amazing and inspirational and I love all the tag games we keep throwing around :’D 
@ashenwren you!! you are amazing and I’m so happy to have gotten to know you through our network :’) I am excited every day when I get to talk to you, even if it’s just for a moment as our timezones make everything kind of difficult :’D it’s just so nice to share mdzs and dmbj with you, to help you get into these dramas, to share all these ideas and thoughts we have, to share our different cultures and languages and whatnot. you are always so supportive and excited and kind and I wish I could hug you sometimes! I hope I still can write something more for pingxie and that I get to see a ton of your art! ♥
then to all the wonderful ppl in our network who have made my tumblr experience so wonderful this year, who keep being kind and amazing and full of so much talent! to @manhasetardis @aheartfullofjolllly @bees0are0awesome @highwarlockkareena @yibobibo @linglynz @yiqiie @wangxiians @leoyunxi @tiesanjiao @lan-xichens @oneautumnfox @aowyn @wangxianbunnydoodles @weiwuxcian and many others who I might have forgotten: I enjoy seeing you in my notes so much, I enjoy all of your content, seeing us all interact with each other and just being very friendly and welcoming ♥ I am thankful every day that I got to join this network and learn to know so many! continue being awesome and have a nice upcoming year :’)
then quickly to:
@lzswy thank you for loving my music and wanting to know me! I hope we get to talk some more and feel free to push music my way too, am always ready to drown in songs :’)
@kholran thank you for doing my tag games and allowing me to talk to you, to call you my friend, and share my love for liu sang! I will once again tell you that your fic (link here if anyone reading this is interested) was amazing and I hope we get to talk some more! 
and then thank you to all the ppl who I see in my notes all the time and leave amazing tags and just love me with interacting with my content and sometimes making it more known and just giving it their all: @btssjamss @a-force-dyad-in-space @cuppyhands @mylastbraincql @drwcn @fytheuntamed @distantsnows @brutalbeetle @intimisky @kazaore @inessencedevided @bluebelle88 @actualmichelle @sassyassassy @thebeautifulmacabre @merinnan @inkblue-black and many others who I might not recognize or remember or find right now! or who I have already mentioned in the network part bc you guys are awesome like that :’) especially when I have tried out new things this year and have dipped into new fandoms and reached out of this mdzs pit I am still in and unwilling to leave ♥ but you are still there and like my content haha
and then I want to mention some of my favorite works this year (I’ll try to pick one per month from my archives oh boy): 
@i-am-just-a-kiddo‘s amazing niemo fic that owns my heart, soul, and the never to be born firstborn ♥ 
@bloody-bee-tea‘s amazing mdzs related fics that always just make my heart clench but also bring me so much joy!
this amazing wangxian edit that still shatters me
this amazing wwx edit by hanyi ♥ @leonzhng I love the quote in this and this breaks me in all the best ways!
@fytheuntamed‘s whole the untamed memes series that single-handedly has saved this year for me (tho I suppose this started earlier than this year but who cares, quality content either way)
this jc outfits collection post by @linglynz ♥ everything for my am-a-hoe-for-the-angry-purple-guy -needs
this amazing art by @/hana-tox that still gives me so many feels that I feel like bursting 
this stunning edit set for the best album that dropped this year, map of the soul: 7, by @/kassareo
this wangxian edit that inspired me a lot and still makes me catch my breath bc damn that looks gorgeous (by @/itsazbitch)
another very inspirational edit set by @/sammyholdsacandle (some might recognize which one of my edits got inspired by this a lot lol) 
this very beautiful post by @alienwlw that’s really just goals tbh 
@sarawatsaraleo‘s favorite the untamed scenes series, every one of these edits is a huge joy and so beautifully done! ♥
@tiesanjiao‘s wonderful, wonderful wangxian edit that keeps being my one of my favorites ever and just. inspires me to this day, I hope one day I can gif :’D ♥
another one of my absolute favorites is this edit by hanyi again ♥ you just have the best ideas and you make everything so pretty!
this soft but heartbreaking, delicate but so emotional edit by @gusucloud ♥ I think I’ve never loved an edit this much, it’s so pretty and absolutely perfect!
this edit by @highwarlockkareena bc wth, the coloring? the gifs themselves?? gosh it looks so pretty and I might cry
@tiesanjiao‘s wonderful gifset made for the gif challenge that was going around during this time ;; as I was slowly falling in love with the iron triangle and dmbj in general, this felt like a blessing ♥ 
these absolutely stunning pieces of art by @/tiphs 
this absolutely gorgeous post for wwx’s bday by @alienwlw (all of this is just. perfect?? the colors, the gifs, the scenes... everything!)
this gorgeous edit by @distantsnows that makes me smile and cry at the same time ♥
this edit also by @distantsnows that is just. pure perfection?? bc fuck yes, sect leader jaing yanli!! I love you for this one
this edit by @lanzhansmiles bc the colors are just absolutely stunning and I love how they both sit there like that and just? wow 
this edit just makes me feel so many things and just looks so dreamy by @cescedes 
this adorable but also very painful edit by @manhasetardis ♥ I love all about this one :’)
and as a shameless self-promo (bc apparently I haven’t done enough of that lol) I want to mention my wu xie edit which was just so much fun to do and turned out so great and. I just love him a lot ok, he’s a wonderful character and zhu yilong played him so well ♥
I wish you all – all the ppl mentioned here and all who see this and all who still do not – a very merry christmas, happy holidays, and happy new years too! I hope the year 2021 will treat us all well and that you will remain as amazing, lovely, and wonderful as you all have been! ♥ 
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tinyyoungblood · 4 years
Text
midnight in prague | tom holland
summary: you play MJ in far from home and when filming gets too stressful, you and tom sneak off from set to explore the city of prague at night while also talking about the idea of running away together
Tumblr media
pairing: tom holland x actress!reader
word count: 1.9 k
warnings: a bit angsty but mainly fluff, one (1) violent metaphor, language 
a/n: i highly recommend listening to the song, it’s absolutely beautiful, sets the mood and inspired this story. used some of the lyrics as dialogue. enjoy! 
song/inspo: Canada (ft. Alessia Cara) by Lauv
↳ masterlist
* * *
“That’s a wrap, guys!” The crew cheered weakly, lacking the usual enthusiasm. Not moving from your spot, you meekly pumped your fist in the air in mute joy. To say you were exhausted wasn’t just an understatement, it was a big truck that rammed and then dragged you through the empty streets of Prague. You’ve been up since 9 am and the enormous clock, that had surely become the focal point for everybody, almost signaled three hours after midnight.
Your scene partner was even more drained than you. Tom was barely twitching a limb—only a hollow shell, containing the last remains of his wiped-out energy.
With his head rested on yours, you believed he was dead asleep and lightly poked his side to wake him up. But he only reached out and held your hand in a loose grip, arms dangling between your bodies. “I’m awake,” he murmured, and you were sure he was talking in his sleep.
“Tommy, wake up,” you said gently and wrapped your arms around his torso, letting him engulf you in a warm hug but he didn't budge, “You’re compressing my brain, Tom.”
Slowly, he lifted his head, eyes fluttering open to scan your face but only a second later did he realize that insomnia had caused him to believe your teasing for once. You couldn’t help but pout at the prominent exhaustion on his face. Footsteps on cobblestone and the movement of heavy filming gadgets made up your surroundings but you focused solely on Tom and the guilty look on his face. No words were needed for you to know that he was still sorry for something that he had no control over.
It wasn’t his fault that the weather conditions pushed the night shootings back and it certainly wasn’t his fault that cars were constantly driving over the bridge that you were filming at, forcing you to quickly jump to the side, only to shuffle right back to restart the scene.
But this was Prague and he was Tom. Much like his character, he had thoroughly planned a romantic trip for both of you and after weeks of gushing about it, he was sure he could make it work but something would always come up and push his plans into hopelessness.
At this point, he had accepted his fate but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t sad every time he looked at you and mad every time somebody said “action”. He loved his job and was forever grateful but for fuck’s sake, was it too much to ask for to spend some alone time with his girlfriend?
Just when he was about to open his mouth to apologize to you, you locked his lips with yours and he melted into the kiss, tense shoulders dropping. Releasing his lips with a soft plop, he sighed with a small smile, but his eyes still held sadness. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed that the others were already walking toward the van to drive back to the hotel to fall into a restless sleep, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let Tom go to bed like this.
Your mind flicked to back home where you had naively envisioned your trip to Europe to be completely different—free and without a care in the world. You knew you were here for work, but you didn’t expect to have this many obligations that added to the constant pressure of having to deliver the perfect scenes. The world was counting on you to not fuck this up.
You sighed and looked down at the river. The water reflected the vibrant yellow streetlights and brought you a sense of much-needed peace and tranquillity. Tom watched you curiously as your eyes marveled at the scenery.
Your head whipped back to him and now you were beaming at him, a glimpse of mischief dancing in your eyes. “Let’s get out of here.” Tom blankly stared at you and blinked to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. “What?”
“I’m saying,” you dragged out and let go of his torso to swing his arms excitedly from side to side, he squeezed your hand, “this is our last night in Prague! We’ve been looking forward to this for the longest time, do you really want to miss it? Come on, we can sleep on the plane tomorrow. Let’s be carefree for once.” Your soul was fueled with sparkling joy and you forgot about your exhaustion. “Let’s be free.”
Tom took a second to contemplate your words before a wide grin broke out on his face and he nodded eagerly, surrendering to bliss. “God, I’m obsessed with your brain sometimes.”
With your hand still in his, you pulled him with you, excitement shimmering. Crossing the Charles Bridge, the two of you slipped away and entered the night you had dreamed of.
Golden lanterns on the side of the houses marked hidden but absolutely breathtaking alleys and for the first time on this trip, it was quiet and serene. Your eyes couldn’t stop darting everywhere, taking it all in with the deepest admiration. It was like you were falling in love with the whole world.
You had a bounce to your step and Tom couldn’t contain his bubbly feelings at the sight of you. He didn’t really understand what switch of yours was suddenly flicked for your spirits to fly this high, but he didn’t need to. He missed spending time with you. Back in the States, both of your schedules were packed and barely allowed a fleeting glimpse but now, the girl of his dreams was buzzing with happiness while the streetlights highlighted her glowing face and he’d be damned if he wouldn’t treasure every moment.
The darkness made the town appear like a secret fairytale village with its colorful houses and narrow passages. Your soft chatter lingered in the warm summer air and every time a giggle left your lips Tom’s heart filled with more love for you, warming him from within. With his adoring gaze, he spun you around. Your dress flying up and you stretched your arms upward, enjoying the carefreeness with a broad smile. You felt like you were floating, feet barely touching the ground as the both of you were dancing to no music.
Drunk with happiness, both of you laughed as Tom pressed your back against a wall. With his hands caressing your hips and your foreheads pressed against each other, your heart throbbed with profound joy, something you haven’t felt in a while.
Adrenaline and happiness consumed you, so much of it that you nearly forgot to breathe but you didn’t need to as Tom’s lips were already on yours. You pushed off the wall, sealing the tiny space between you and he deepened the kiss. Your heart almost broke with joy. Pulling apart, it left you breathless again and you were certain nothing could ever wipe off the stupid grin on your faces.
Arms swinging, the two of you continued your fairytale walk and ended up at the Charles bridge again where you had started off the night. Still high on emotions, Tom pulled you with him as he swung his legs over the rim of the bridge and gestured for you to follow. You didn’t hesitate and sat next to him, legs dangling over the river. You rested your head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around your small frame as you overlooked the sight in front of you.
Your voice was delicate as you spoke, cautioning into the silence, “I really needed this. It's almost like I've been stuck at home forever.” Tom was playing with strands of your hair and you knew he was deep in thoughts.
Again, you watched the dancing streetlights reflection on the water surface but this time it didn’t bring you peace. You had your night and that was all you wanted. So why did you feel a pinch of sadness at the simple thought of heading to the hotel, settling into your bed and calling it a night. You didn’t want this night to end and you knew Tom also dreaded having to end this feeling.
So the question he asked next wasn’t a surprise to you in the slightest—it resonated with you.
“What if we move to Canada?”
He sounded hopeful. Musing about taking on the world in a different way than you both already did but he knew you two were in no position to be bold and just not give a damn. It was neither in his nor your power to be selfish. A sudden breeze left goosebumps on your exposed skin, but he dreamingly gazed at you with vulnerable eyes and you let yourself dream with him.
“We could bring Tessa,” you voiced, and the corner of his mouth quirked up. “And your paintbrush and some candy,” Tom added, and awe transformed your face, eyes lighting up.
“I guess we’re lucky that we don’t need much outside of us, do we?” You chuckled softly and he shook his head with a sad smile on his face. He took your hand in his and started to play with your fingers, eyes looking heavenward. For the first time tonight, you noticed the endless stars sparkling from above.
“You know, when we film those movies...” He licked his lips and your gaze darted to his hesitant face. You weren’t sure if tears were brimming his eyes or if they reflected the deep water but they were glistening and you squeezed his hand to remind him that you were there. “...When they talk about those people in the movies who up and leave, I always think about how that could be us.”
He looked down at you, hands tightening around yours and now you were sure those were tears shimmering in his eyes. “That could be you and me.”
You didn’t answer and he didn’t need you to.
Both of you knew this wasn’t the heat of the moment talking. ‘Let’s get away from here and do our own thing’ wasn’t an option for any of you. Your thing was acting, you loved it from the bottom of your heart, and you wouldn’t be completed without that passion in your life and Tom—Tom was Spider-Man. Arguably one of the most recognizable cinematic characters in the world. Besides the fact that he couldn’t just quit, he didn’t want to either.
This was the life that you both chose. Unforgettable memories, unconditional support and overwhelming opportunities. There were also hours of press tours, draining interviews and nerve-wracking red carpets.
Your heart rate picked up at the single thought of it all but if tonight had taught you anything, it had taught you something deeply beautiful. Amid the chaos and pressure, amid the glamour and blessings, all you needed in the end was Tom by your side. He was the reason why you soared your highest heights and he was your support system when you plunged to the deepest depths. Gratitude flowed through you.
Leaning forward, you pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, letting it linger for a moment before you nuzzled your head back into the crook of his neck—brown eyes never leaving you. He returned the gesture by leaving a gentle kiss on top of your head, before resting his own on yours, pressing you closer into his body with a content sigh.
We are lucky that we don't need much outside of us.
* * *
wrote this at 5 am so it might be extra cheesy but i’m still too sleep-deprived to tell lol. i appreciate the hell out of feedback so feel free to leave me some and if you don’t, that’s okay too. thank u for reading, buh-bye! x
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beneaththetangles · 3 years
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Reader’s Corner: Those Snow White Notes, Your Lie in April Revisited, and A Couple of Cuckoos
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She’s My Knight, Vol. 1
The premise of this lovely little comic is simple: Ichinose has always been the popular kid, attracting attention from all the girls until cool, collected Mogami comes along, stealing not only Ichinose’s popularity, but also his heart. I’m a total sucker for the Mogami type in manga and anime—the tall, athletic, boyish girl—and she makes a perfect pairing with the pitiful Ichinose, who increasingly, as the volumes progresses, falls apart around her. There’s not much else here—just lots of gags and near-miss moments, so in that sense, She’s My Knight may end up being a forgettable series. But just as Ichinose is the damsel to Mogami’s knight, this series might be rescued, too, by hints that the girl is not as clueless as she seems. But even if that’s not true, even if the series means to simply tease us for endless chapters and results in a series that isn’t unique in any way, the manga would still hit the sweet spot of feel good romantic comedy so well that it doesn’t really matter—this is the perfect volume to open as you sit back, kick your feet up, and prepare to fall in love. ~ Twwk
She’s My Knight is published by Kodansha.*
A Couple of Cuckoos, Vol. 1
Nagi Umino learns quite the shocking truth: As an infant, he had accidentally been switched with another baby, and had essentially grown up his whole life as an adopted kid. To make matters worse, upon meeting his birth parents, and the girl, Erika Amano, that he had been switched with, he finds out that their parents had decided that the easiest way to resolve this whole matter is to have the two of them get married so that all the parents can officially consider both of them their children! With an anime adaptation announced recently, I figured I’d check out the first volume of the manga, and true to the name, it’s quite crazy. With a mess of family relations and some side romantic antics involving a smart girl Nagi has a crush on, this manga definitely has all the fun of a good romcom, and there’s not really too much that annoyed me about it, either, other than that the volume ended way too soon. I also liked how it touches on the awkwardness of trying to connect with a birth family you didn’t grow up with, and I hope future volumes do more with that along with the romance stuff.  ~ stardf29
A Couple of Cuckoos is published by Kodansha.
Street Fighter Gaiden: Vol. 1
Videogames have made the transition to manga many times, and some have even done it on multiple occasions, which is the case with Street Fighter. I picked up Street Fighter Gaiden, which has two volumes and focuses on various stories in the SF series, focusing on various characters. Ken and Ryu get their due, and so does Chun-Li, who is some nice panels participates in a drug bust in San Francisco. Other stories feature Fei Long desiring to do something more challenging than be a movie star, leading to travels to Japan and a tragic accident while stopping some criminals; T. Hawk protecting fellow natives from another tribe who are being harassed by Balrog; and the final story, where Guile becomes involved in underground fights while trying to prevent a friend from getting involved with Shadaloo, the secret evil organization of the series. The stories veer from the traditional backgrounds of some of the characters, like Fei Long and Guile, but it’s interesting to read how the author puts them together. Fans of Street Fighter should check this series out! The drawings in the manga looks dated and a little rough here and there, but I certainly enjoyed it and will be picking up volume two. ~ Samuru
Street Fighter Gaiden: Vol. 1 is published by Udon Entertainment.
The Dawn of the Witch, Vol. 1
Witches seem to be making a bit of comeback in manga lately. The Dawn of the Witch, one of the new entries, seems at first blush to add little that’s new to the canon, assembling a weak main character mage, overpowered but very young looking master witch, talented witch / love interest, and a beastman, as they undertake a special type of journey / course assigned by their magic school. However, tropes can be deceiving. Volume one tells a story at breakneck pace, developing relationships, adding backstory, providing action, and dumping a ton of information, which while it could become oppressive, in this manga, is captivating. The world and its history are fascinating, the way magic is used has some uniqueness (including a cursed, talking staff?), and the divisiveness between witches and the church shows depth. The world-building in just this one volume is extensive and engaging, and the story seems to be in good hands, while the art and character design, developed by two additional members of this three-person manga team, are just as extraordinary, bringing vividness to action scenes, boldness to the characters themselves, and lettering and paneling that add further dimension to goings-on. The frequent and obvious fanservice, unfortunately, can be quite distracting; it’s not a coincidence that it takes a back seat once the story ramps up, indicating how unimportant it is. By the last chapter or two, there’s no room for panty shots; we’re swept up into the lives of these characters, the choices they’ve made and are making, and the world they inhabit, which in terms of recent witch manga, is second to none. ~ Twwk
The Dawn of the Witch is published by Kodansha.*
Those Snow White Notes, Vol. 1
Moving to Tokyo after the death of his guardian, grandfather, and teacher, Setsu is a lost soul. Though he carries with him a shamisen, the ancient three-stringed instrument, Setsu is unable to play, haunted by the words of his grandfather which told him he was unworthy of it. But will this move to Tokyo and the people he meets there be just what Setsu needs to find his sound? The first half of this initial volume is one long chapter, and reads like a one-shot, an almost self-contained story of Setsu’s serendipitous meeting with a hopeful actress, Yuna, and the impact the two have on one another. However, this front half of volume one isn’t particularly distinct in any way, and despite a desire to connect emotionally with readers through the young protagonist and and his family, the panels fall flat in this aspect, as do they when depicting the sound of the shamisen, whose tone and rhythm I could feel but not the emotion it gives. The second half of volume, however, establishes the story and characters better. Setsu’s personality is better defined, as is his brother’s, and new supporting characters are introduced as Setsu begins to attend school, setting the stage for a club-centered drama, a la Kono Oto Tomare and Chihayafuru, two other anime centered on historic Japanese pastimes. And like those, there’s potential here, though it will be lost if Those Snow White Notes can’t find consistency and an emotional anchor, which would be a shame, as the first episode of currently-airing anime adaptation showed how a few adjustments could turn this story into something quite special. ~ Twwk
Those Snow White Notes is published by Kodansha.*
Your Lie in April, Vol. 4
I’m continuing my re-read of Your Lie in April and have reached Volume four, a part of this series which can be a tough read. Kousei has finally returned to the piano scene after two years away to find that his childhood rivals have only improved. Both of them were motivated by him to become better. Emi saw him when she was very little and it inspired her to play, believing in her heart to play for joy, while Takeshi is driven to perfection to reach what Kousei had always achieved. Then there’s Kousei himself. In these chapters, readers bear witness to the emotional and physical abuse Kousei underwent as a child and it’s hard to witness. But it does help present a complete picture of the person Kousei has become so far. This is a challenging volume because of what happens, but it’s important to the overall narrative. Beautiful artwork and emotional moments will keep me moving through this re-read.  ~ MDMRN
Your Lie in April is published by Kodansha.
Skip Beat, Vol. 17
The “Suddenly, a Love Story” arc is an oddity, a portion of Skip Beat that is quite long and cumbersome, with not enough Kyoko and perhaps too much of the unappealing side of Ren, full of insecurity and lacking much of his initial appeal. Volume 17 thankfully puts the arc to rest with a quick but exciting (and revealing) finale which pits Ren against no, not Shotaro, but Reino, the abusive and perhaps occultist musician. The next arc also begins in this volume, introducing Kuu, a movie star more famous, it seems, than any previous character in the series. Although we get to know him just a bit, he appears to be a rival who could threaten Ren. He also immediately challenges Kyoko, providing the potential for her to really chew up character interactions, something sorely missed in the previous arc. The final chapters of volume 17 feel like a breath of fresh air, hopefully pointing toward compelling chapters ahead—though I fear the problem of an unappealing Ren may be not be solved anytime soon. ~ Twwk
Skip Beat is published by Viz.*
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Reader’s Corner is our way of embracing the wonderful world of manga, light novels, and visual novels, creative works intimately related to anime but with a magic all their own. Each week, our writers provide their thoughts on the works their reading—both those recently released as we keep you informed of newly published works and older titles that you might find as magical (or in some cases, reprehensible) as we do.
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Soulmate September - Day 11
Day 11 - Pick your favorite Soulmate AU and write about it, it can be from this list or something completely different.  
(Balloon AU: you have a spirit-like balloon with the name of your soulmate written on it that only you can see. It will often drift towards your soulmate’s when they’re close by.)
Pairing(s): Romantic Logicality, Romantic Remile
TWs: Character Death (it’s loosely based on Disney’s UP, so y’all know whats going on), implied homophobia for a small section, unspecified heart condition mention
Author’s note: please forgive any inaccuracies in time periods and such, I did my best ;w; 
Also don’t let the tags throw you off, this story’s bittersweet but it’s really lovely, thank you if you do indeed keep reading, ily <3
They met when they were just children back in March of 1950. 
Logan Crofter had just come from the theatre after having seen the newest Walt Disney movie, Cinderella, when he overheard a commotion coming from the children’s park on his way home. He was always a cautious young lad but as he caught sight of his balloon begin to sway that way, Logan wasted no time in hurrying towards the sound of children arguing.
“Boys don’t wear dresses, stupid!!!”
“But it’s really pretty!!”
Logan arrived in time to see an older boy shove another boy about his age into a puddle, soaking the light blue dress he was wearing over a light t-shirt and dungarees. Upon realising the dress was likely ruined, the boy began crying. Logan wasted no time in getting between the two of them,
“Leave him alone, or I’ll inform the proper authorities!”
“.... You’ll what?”, the taller boy asked dumbfoundedly.
“It means I’ll tell your mom!!”
He was bluffing of course, Logan had no idea who the boy was, but the threat was enough to send him running. With a sigh of relief, he turned his attention to the boy in the puddle. Instead of crying anymore, he was gazing up at Logan in excited adoration,
“Wow!! You saved me!! Just like Prince Charming saved Cinderella!!!”
The boy wiped his face of tears and stood up to grasp Logan’s hands, “Thank you, thank you, thank youuuu!!”
Embarrassed by the overly sweet gesture, Logan cleared his throat, “You’re far too kind, I simply cannot tolerate bullying, I’m certainly no Prince Charming.”, he tried to assure the boy, “Truly, it was no trouble. Are you going to be alright, um-?”
“Patton!”, the boy, Patton, beamed.
A gasp left Logan, the name wasn’t that common, so perhaps….  “Patton Hart?”
The boy nodded, surprised, “That’s me-”, then realised, “A-Are you Logan Crofter!?”
Logan’s smile must’ve said it all as Patton threw his arms around him, “I can’t believe it! My soulmate saved me! I really am like Cinderella!”
“You are pretty like Cinderella as well.”, Logan offered shyly, shuffling his feet awkwardly. Patton giggled and took his hands. 
“Come on! I wanna introduce you to mama!! She’ll like you lots!!”
Patton was right, Logan adored Mrs Hart from the moment they were introduced. He loved the whole family with every member he was introduced to; it wasn’t hard to see where Patton got his shining personality from, happiness and warmth radiated from every one of them. Logan remembered the way Patton had introduced him to his parents and that summer he’d done the same for all his grandparents, his ‘tios and tias’ as he referred to them, and his many cousins who welcomed Logan with open arms.
He was grateful for such a loving family especially when his own disowned him. Logan had known from the day he finally brought Patton home to meet his parents - six years after they’d first met - that they would never accept his soulmate. Despite the majority of the world’s population accepting that the soulmate bond was a fixed infallible system, the Crofters had their minds made up that their son’s soulmate would be someone worthy of their expectations. Someone stoic and serious, not bubbly and energetic. Someone who was all work and no play, not someone who wanted to have fun and just enjoy life. Someone who was female, not another male. Logan hadn’t anticipated that extra twist of the knife but all the same, he wouldn’t trade Patton for anyone else.
It was hard being fourteen and having to turn his back on the family home he’d grown up in, but as Patton’s family helped him move his things into the room they’d painstakingly cleared out for him, Logan figured that feeling would soon pass.
--
Throughout high school, the two grew even more inseparable; Logan helped tutor Patton in math and science while Patton helped Logan with art and music. Logan joined Patton’s cooking club to support his cause while Patton would always attend Logan’s debates, captivated by his drive and dedication.
Another routine they’d started over the years was attending the latest screenings of each new Disney movie. In truth, Logan had lost his taste for “childish exploits” around the age of ten, but he would never admit out loud that seeing the way Patton would smile during their theatre dates made his heart race faster than any other sight on the entire planet. That was why for their 27th anniversary, Logan proposed to Patton during the double bill screening of The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh. He burned the moment Patton threw his arms around him in sheer glee into his brain forever. He would carry the joy of hearing his soulmate - no, his husband-to-be - cry out that wonderful “yes!” with him for eternity.
Sending out the invitations had been a nerve wracking affair for Logan, but Patton had assured him that everything would be okay in the end as he sent out his half of the invitations. He knew his parents wouldn’t show so he didn’t bother to invite them, but he wasn’t sure if his grandparents or distant aunts and uncles would. Aside from them, he’d never met much of his own family, most of them residing outside of the states. 
In the end, only his paternal grandparents and mother’s brother agreed to attend. Logan didn’t mind, he was just glad to have someone. Thankfully, his side of the church wouldn’t be too empty for the friends he made in his highschool years were more than happy to fill the pews.
Logan Crofter-Hart married his husband Patton Hart in the spring of 1981 after four years of planning and saving for their first home together. Logan’s endless studying and training to become a lecturer combined with Patton’s enthusiasm and drive to make money working at Foster’s Family Diner had all led up to this moment. As Logan placed the ring on Patton’s finger and promised to love and honour him - in sickness and in health, til death did they part - he couldn’t help but think himself the luckiest man alive. After the ceremony, his uncle and paternal grandparents had congratulated him, with the former asking what their next step would be.
Logan wasn’t sure about the far future, but at the time while he watched the love of his life dance and gesture for Logan to join him, all he could think to answer was “Simple, our Traditional Disney Movie Date.”, as he got up to indulge Patton’s request.
Said movie was The Fox And The Hound, and Patton, bless him, had cried for most of it. Logan draped his arm around his husband’s shoulders and softly wiped his tears with his other hand. While the scene where Todd’s owner sadly releases him into the wild played, Patton snuggled closer to Logan for comfort. Logan would deny that he teared up at that part too, though the memory of Patton humming the tune of Goodbye May Seem Forever would always stick with him even on his saddest days...
--
“Logan?”, Patton softly piped up as they lay in bed watching TV together one night.
Logan turned to face his husband, “Yes, starlight?”
“What do you think about...”, he hesitated, but continued at Logan’s nod of encouragement, “...us adopting?” 
The idea had indeed occurred to Logan. They’d been married only a year but he knew his husband would make a wonderful father. 
“.... Do you think I’d be ready, Patton?”, Logan offered unsurely. Patton softly removed his head from Logan’s shoulder and sat in his lap to properly apply one soothing hug directly to his darling husband.
“Only you’ll know for sure, but I think you’ll be an amazing father, Logie Bear.”
A soft kiss from his husband destroyed any doubt Logan had harboured. “Just imagine it, getting to watch our son or daughter grow up and get married someday! Ooh, or maybe they’ll become an astronaut! The second person to go into space!”
Logan chuckled, knowing Patton was playing on his fondness for space travel, “Perhaps, however, they would in fact be the fifth person to go into space-”
With a fond sigh, Patton brought Logan into a gentle kiss, one that Logan had no intentions of breaking to keep infodumping. He wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist, pulling him closer as if no amount of closeness would ever be enough. Another memory that would burn itself into his brain forever. Patton pulled back to his Logan with those puppy dog eyes that resulted in him getting what he wanted at least 80% of the time.
“So, does this mean you want to give adopting a try, Logie Bear?”
Feigning annoyance with a smiling eye roll and a forced huff of air, Logan replied, “Yeah. I guess-”
He spent the rest of the night returning Patton’s delighted kisses and listening to him ramble adorably about all the wonderful memories they’d make as a family.
--
The rejection hit the Hart couple hard; Patton even more so than Logan. 
Yes, he was just as crushed by the news, but Patton was distraught. 
They’d done all they could to be sure the adoption would be a success. Logan had been hired as part of the local university’s astrophysics division which did bring in enough money to allow the couple to renovate Logan’s old office room into a bedroom for their potential child. The day had been filled with laughter and, with some coercion from Patton, dancing along to the radio in between paint drying times. They’d been sure to go through all the steps, make sure their house was child friendly, even going as far as to secure references from friends and family in case they were needed.
Alas, some bad luck out of nowhere had been the first blow to the couple. After hanging on for a good decade or so, Foster’s Family Diner was bought over by a larger franchise and thus, Patton had been laid off with little warning to cut down the number of employees. The only comfort he found at the time was from his fellow staff who were devastated to see him go. The full weight of the situation really hit home when they realised it’d put enough of a dent in their income to make things a little less comfy for a while.
The second blow was the twins. Two young boys Patton had grown attached to during an Adoption Activity Day he and Logan had attended. Logan knew while he watched both boys painting his husband’s face with vastly different degrees of success, that they’d be the children Patton wanted to adopt. The boys seemed to love them too, going by their reluctance to let either of them leave at the end of the event. But the blow to their finances and the lack of a large enough room for twins had been a cause for concern with the agency, and try as the Harts might, they just weren’t able to get the room up to code in time.
Both boys were adopted that same week, and Patton further spiralled even further. Logan tried his best to try and cheer him up, but nothing seemed to work. As a last ditch attempt, Logan even requested to be able to be put in contact with the twins’ adoptive parents to ask for a visit but he was told, as anticipated, that the agency couldn’t allow it.
Logan refused to give up though. Using his university’s connections, he was able to find Patton a prospective new job; one of the researchers in the history department had a brother who worked for the local zoo. She assured Logan that with her brother’s approval, Patton would more than likely be offered the job opening they had going.
It wasn’t much, not really, but when he brought Patton to the zoo to surprise him with the offer of running the park’s souvenir shop, his husband’s glowing smile stole Logan’s breath away. For the first time in months, he heard Patton laugh with delight as he accepted the job.
--
With both of them working again, Logan put all of his effort into a new goal; helping Patton feel ready to adopt once more. It would be a slow venture; they cut out anything that wasn’t necessary and swapped the pricier items for store brands. The 80s rolled into the 90s and it felt like for a while the world would doom them to a life of endless saving, even having to eventually forgo their sacred cinema dates in favour of waiting for video and later DVD releases. 
But they were happy. 
Happy to have each other, and happily thinking of the day when they could try adopting again.
As the years went on, however, Logan began to worry. With he and his husband approaching their fifties, Patton’s hopes of adopting a young child to raise dwindled, knowing that they often gave other couples older children to look after. He knew Patton wanted to see them attend their first day of school, to teach them to ride a bike, to spend as much time as possible with them.
So Logan made a bold suggestion to Patton that night that they try again. 
Patton was quiet for a while causing Logan to fear it was still too soon, but his husband agreed that it had been long enough. They once more gave adoption a try.
--
The second time proved to be a charm and the Harts welcomed their son - six year old Emile - into the family in 1993.
He was an eccentric, curious young lad with a love of cartoons and biology; a perfect combination for the happy parents. Not that it would have mattered in the long run, they’d have loved their son no matter what.
Logan looked to the man asleep on his shoulder and their son who had also tuckered himself out watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with them. With a fond smile, Logan rested his head against the back of the sofa, catching sight of his soul balloon. It’d been years since he’d really paid much attention to it, but the name Patton Hart still glistened in wonderous golden letters set against the baby blue of the balloon. He glanced over to Patton, seeing that same cute sleepy face he always made. Logan wondered how, whenever he believed he had hit the maximum, he ended up falling more and more in love with Patton. 
The stronger the feeling grew, the more Logan felt like he could conquer anything, and he would do so in a heartbeat for his husband, and now his son too.. 
--
Love alone, however, couldn’t conquer all things. 
During Emile’s 14th birthday party, Patton collapsed. It was sudden and terrifying, but thankfully Logan was able to keep him out of harm's way until the paramedics arrived. Luckily, they were able to treat Patton at home, coming to the conclusion that heat exhaustion had been the culprit when they were informed that Patton had given himself little time to rest coupled with the unusually hot day.
Logan still wanted Patton to see a doctor as soon as possible, but Patton sweetly but stubbornly insisted he was fine. He didn’t want to cause more of a scene during Emile’s big day. Reluctantly, Logan let him make the final call, relief setting in as Patton went about the rest of the day as his usual cheerful self. Logan made sure to stay by his husband just in case, but the day passed without another hitch.
That couldn’t be said for the second time.
The call came for Logan during one of his lectures; Patton had been catching up with an old coworker from his diner days who’d come to the zoo with their granddaughter when he’d just crumpled to the floor without warning. Logan wasn’t sure what exactly happened, but the next thing he knew, he was parking his car outside the hospital and desperately asking the staff where his husband was being treated.
Fortunately, once again, Patton was more or less alright. When Logan saw him sitting upright in his hospital bed chattering away to a young girl in a hospital gown, he knew for sure his husband was alright. At least for now.
“Will you ever stop giving me a heart attack?”, Logan had sighed with fond exhaustion as he sat next to Patton with his hard carding through his soft umber hair. Patton chuckled and played with the blue tie Logan was so fond of, “Not if it means you’ll keep coming to my rescue like Prince Charming.”. 
Logan let out a huff of laughter, fondly recalling their first meeting. It felt like yesterday still…
“Does that mean you’re still my Cinderella?”
Patton tapped a finger to his chin and finally answered with a smile, “Maybe not. Glass slippers and fairy godmothers or not, I’d never leave your side for anything, Logie Bear.”
Logan wished Patton could have kept that promise.
--
The following years passed with a couple of stumbles along the way in regards to Patton’s health and still the doctor’s weren’t sure what caused his episodes. Logan was naturally worried; he and Patton were in their sixties, he knew that even though Patton kept bouncing back that one day statistically he wouldn’t be able to. That one day Patton would…
Logan didn’t allow himself to think about it. Instead he sat with his husband, enjoying the movie they’d put on; Disney’s UP. His attention wasn’t so much on the movie as it was on Patton. Every time he looked at his husband, Logan didn’t see the silver roots, eye wrinkles, and laughter lines; he saw the boy he’d moved in with at 14, the beautiful young man he went on regular cinema dates with like clockwork, the man whose excited tearful “yes!” still echoed in his brain no matter how many years had passed. 1979 felt both so long ago, yet like it was just yesterday. And now they were doing just what Logan had hoped; growing old together while their son was out in the world working as a therapist alongside his own husband. 
Logan had been skeptical of Remy the first time Emile had introduced them to his parents, but in spite of their sharp tongue and sassy attitude, Logan had easily grown fond of the person who would later become his child-in-law. Logan wasn’t sure if that was the term, but he did his best to keep up. He remembered the day Emile had come home from high school, excitedly babbling about his soulmate. Patton had been on cloud nine the whole time, and while Logan was just as delighted for their son, he was too wrapped up in admiring the happiness that radiated from his husband.
Goodness, when had Logan gotten this sentimental? He asked, knowing full well he’d always been that way when it came to Pat. He decided to tune back in to the movie only to realise he’d been lost in his memories for nearly the entire run time.
On screen, Carl Fredricksen had just discovered the rest of his late wife’s additions to her adventure book. The more stoic Logan of the past would never have been swayed by such a heart-string tugging moment, but well. The years had softened that stony exterior. At least, that's what he told himself while he felt tears roll down his cheeks silently. Patton’s gentle thumb wiping away his tears, drew his attention, noting that his husband was also tearing up. But my god, that smile. Logan could’ve stared at that sunshine grin til the end of time itself. Seizing the moment, Logan gently leant in to give Patton a kiss, which his husband returned in kind.
At that moment, Logan had an idea. It took a lot of string pulling to make it happen, granted, but he refused to allow anything to get in the way of his plans. 
January of 2010 saw Patton’s 66th’s birthday roll in, and Logan first surprised his husband by driving their old car, a blue 1955 Ford Thunderbird, into the driveway. It wasn’t in the greatest condition, having been kept in their garage for years, but Logan had secretly washed and maintained it leading up to today. It still had their cassette tape in the player; the Beach Boys’ Wouldn’t It Be Nice played just as it had back in the day.
The car was only one of the surprises Logan had in store; he’d found an old diner that, while it wasn’t much like Foster’s, was dedicated to capturing the 1980s vibe they were both familiar with. After a couple of milkshakes and Patton’s insistence that they dance together when the jukebox would play their favourite tunes, Logan parked outside of a familiar sight.
Their old theatre and origin of Patton’s nickname, The Starlight; it’d been renamed of course, but thankfully the former owner’s daughter remembered the couple from back in her father’s day, and so Logan had asked if the old sign could be replaced just this once. She’d done one better, adding a lovely “Happy Birthday Patton!” banner underneath. Logan wasn’t sure if hugs could be fatal, but the one Patton sent his way nearly crushed him with the weight of it’s love.
Once inside the foyer, Logan directed Patton to their private screening of Cinderella. He had wanted the same movie he’d proposed to Patton with initially, but alas, the owner couldn’t track it down in time, thus they went with the movie that had led Logan to his soulmate in the first place. The Harts sat in a comfortable silence throughout the film; they didn’t need to say anything, their intertwined hands and soft sighs of adoration were enough. When the movie ended, they began to drive home until Patton spoke up, “Logan, look!”, he gestured out the window towards a familiar sight; the park where they’d met.
The old equipment had been removed and changed  somewhat over the years, but the familiar landmarks were all still there. Logan didn’t need to be asked the question as he parked nearby and walked with his beloved towards the spot where they’d met. The small indent in the ground where the same puddle he’d helped Patton out of was still there in all it’s sentimental glory. Logan raised an eyebrow as Patton sat at the edge of the former puddle until he realised what he was up to,
“Oh no! I’ve fallen! And I can’t get up! Oh where is my Prince Charming who shall come to save me?!”
Logan had to stifle his laughter with his hand for a second before offering it to Patton, rolling his eyes fondly as he stated, “I’m here, I’m here, don’t worry, fair Cinderella.”
He helped Patton to his feet, stumbling a little but thankfully he caught his husband in his waiting arms. With a smile that shone like the gold of his soul balloon’s cursive, Patton met Logan’s eyes, whispering a soft, loving, “I love you, Logan.”
Logan gently brushed a strand of Patton’s hair away from his soulmate’s eyes, “I love you too, Patton.”
The two began to walk back to the car, hand in hand, while Patton explained to Logan where he’d gotten the blue dress he’d met him in when Patton stopped. 
“Patton? Is everything alright-?”
Patton’s breathing hastened, and before he could try and say he was okay, he curled in on himself, grasping his chest. Terrified for his husband, Logan called 911, doing his best to get Patton to the car to drive him to A&E.
--
Nothing was alright.
Logan stayed by Patton’s side in hospital when the doctors delivered the bad news. 
Heart failure. 
The doctor was apologetic the whole time - “I’m so sorry” “If only we’d caught it sooner” “Too late for a transplant” “Surgery would only prolong the inevitable” - but Logan couldn’t bear to hear it. The love of his life lay dying in a cold, sterile room when he should be at home; dancing around their living room, baking with him in their kitchen, laying next to him in bed as they held hands and regaled each other with happy memories and countless “I love you”s. 
The decision wasn’t difficult, not for Logan anyway. The doctors offered to let Logan take him home so he could pass in the comfort of his own home, and while Emile had tried to convince his parents to try for more time in hospital, his fathers both refused. Patton was stubborn when he wanted to be, and Logan even more so. They’d wasted three days with Logan having to stay in hospital with Patton, he wasn’t about to jeopardise any more time. 
Emile and Remy came to visit each day once Patton came home. Neither one would comment on just how tired he looked, but Logan could see the concern in their faces. They both knew as well as Logan that any day could be Patton’s last. Every time they left, both would hold Patton tightly, making sure to always leave with an “I love you, dad”, no matter how late it made them for an appointment or the like.
--
One night, Logan noticed Patton was sitting outside on the porch step in the early morning sunrise, in one hand was a pack of balloons, and in the other, some string and markers.
“What’re you up to, starlight?”, Logan questioned curiously, unable to stop himself smiling as Patton sent him a smile at the old nickname.
“Just wanted to try something, Logie Bear. Here, you can pick out your color.”
Ah. Logan understood, rifling through the pack for the right shade of baby blue to make his soul balloon. He and Patton had of course described their balloons to each other, “Mine’s this lovely dark blue with silver writing! Bold and smart, just like you, Logan!”, Patton had said. He watched Patton try to blow up the balloon, but upon giving himself a coughing fit, Logan went to get the helium pump he’d used for the balloons at Emile’s 14th birthday. 
Once both balloons were safely inflated and tied with some string, the Harts set about writing each other’s name in an imitation of their respective soul balloon. Patton wasn’t sure whether to write Logan’s married name or the one on the balloon, but Logan assured him he didn’t mind. With both balloons finished, the couple tied the ends of their strings together, Patton requesting Logan take some pictures with his phone to show Emile and Remy later. With the request indulged - along with some depicting the couple sat cuddled together with their respective balloons - the two held out the tied end of the balloons and let them go.
Bobbing in the wind, the balloons carried themselves into the sky, twirling in a dance as they soared towards the clouds. The Harts watched until they could no longer see the pair anymore; eventually just sitting side by side on the porch, their fingers locked together and their heads rested against one another. 
The morning was stunning; soft cloudy skies that let the sun peek through while a warm breeze drifted by. 
“Hey, Logie Bear?”, Patton quietly requested. His voice ghostly even in it’s happiness.
“Yes, starlight?”
Logan couldn’t explain how or why he knew that it’d be the last thing he heard Patton say, but he simply held his husband of thirty nine years, his soulmate since birth, even closer as Patton’s last words carved themselves into his memory;
“Thanks for the adventure.”, his stunning eyes met Logan’s one last time, “I love you, Logan.”
“You too, Patton,”, Logan couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks, “I love you too.”
Even as Patton’s grip loosened, as his eyes closed, as his breathing shuddered to a halt, Logan stayed with his husband for hours. He knew he’d soon have to break the news to their son before the poor lad and his husband found them still sitting together like always. But Logan couldn’t bring himself to move an inch. 
“I’d never leave your side for anything, starlight...”
--------
I’m not crying I’m SOBBING
This one has me in tears just rereading it to make last minute corrections, god...
Day 12 will be back to much happier themes, I promise!
@tsshipmonth2020
Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses @fandomsofrandom
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grigori77 · 3 years
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Movies of 2021 - My Pre-Summer Favourites (Part 2)
The Top Ten:
10.  ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE – one of the undisputable highlights of the Winter-Spring period has to be the long-awaited, much vaunted redressing of a balance that’s been a particular thorn in the side of DC cinematic fans for over three years now – the completion and restoration of the true, unadulterated original director’s cut of the painfully abortive DCEU team-up movie that was absolutely butchered when Joss Whedon took over from original director Zack Snyder and then heavily rewrote and largely reshot the whole thing.  It was a somewhat painful experience to view in cinemas back in 2017 – sure, there were bits that worked, but most of it didn’t and it wasn’t like the underrated Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, which improves immensely on subsequent viewings (especially in the three hour-long director’s cut).  No, Whedon’s film was a MESS.  Needless to say fans were up in arms, and once word got out that the finished film was not at all what Snyder originally intended, a vocal, forceful online campaign began to restore what quickly became known as the Snyder Cut.  Thank the gods that Warner Bros listened to them, ultimately taking advantage of the intriguing alternative possibilities provided by their streaming service HBO Max to allow Snyder to present his fully reinstated creation in its entirety.  The only remaining question, of course, is simply … is it actually any good? Well it’s certainly much more like BVS:DOG than Whedon’s film ever was, and there’s no denying that, much like the rest of Snyder’s oeuvre, this is a proper marmite movie – there are gonna people who hate it no matter what, but the faithful, the fans, or simply those who are willing to open their minds are going to find much to enjoy here. The damage has been thoroughly patched, most of the elements that didn’t work in the theatrical release having been swapped out or reworked so that now they pay off BEAUTIFULLY.  This time the quest of Bruce Wayne/Batman (Ben Affleck) and Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) to bring the first iteration of the Justice League together – half-Atlantean superhuman Arthur Curry/the Aquaman (Jason Momoa), lightning-powered speedster Barry Allan/the Flash (Fantastic Beasts’ Ezra Miller) and cybernetically-rebuilt genius Victor Stone/Cyborg (relative newcomer Ray Fisher) – not only feels organic, but NECESSARY, as does their desperate scheme to use one of the three alien Mother Boxes (no longer just shiny McGuffins but now genuinely well-realised technological forces that threaten cataclysm as much as they provide opportunity for miracles) to bring Clark Kent/Superman (Henry Cavill) back from the dead, especially given the far more compelling threat of this version’s collection of villains.  Ciaran Hinds’ mocapped monstrosity Steppenwolf is a far more palpable and interesting big bad this time round, given a more intricate backstory that also ties in a far greater ultimate mega-villain that would have become the DCEU’s Thanos had Snyder had his way to begin with – Darkseid (Ray Porter), tyrannical ruler of Apokolips and one of the most powerful and hated beings in the Universe, who could have ushered the DCEU’s now aborted New Gods storyline to the big screen.  The newer members of the League receive far more screen-time and vastly improved backstory too, Miller’s Flash getting a far more pro-active role in the storyline AND the action which also thankfully cuts away a lot of the clumsiness the character had in the Whedon version without sacrificing any of the nerdy sass that nonetheless made him such a joy, while the connective tissue that ties Momoa’s Aquaman into his own subsequent standalone movie feels much stronger here, and his connection with his fellow League members feels less perfunctory too, but it’s Fisher’s Cyborg who TRULY reaps the benefits here, regaining a whole new key subplot and storyline that ties into a genuinely powerful tragic origin story, as well as a far more complicated and ultimately rewarding relationship with his scientist father, Silas Stone (the great Joe Morton).  It’s also really nice to see Superman handled with the kind of skill we’d expect from the same director who did such a great job (fight me if you disagree) of bringing the character to life in two previous big screen instalments, as well as erasing the memory of that godawful digital moustache removal … similarly, it’s nice to see the new and returning supporting cast get more to do this time, from Morton and the ever-excellent J.K. Simmonds as fan favourite Gotham PD Commissioner Jim Gordon to Connie Nielsen as Diana’s mother, Queen Hippolyta of Themyscira and another unapologetic scene-stealing turn from Jeremy Irons as Batman’s faithful butler Alfred Pennyworth. Sure, it’s not a perfect movie – the unusual visual ratio takes some getting used to, while there’s A LOT of story to unpack here, and at a gargantuan FOUR HOURS there are times when the pacing somewhat lags, not to mention an overabundance of drawn-out endings (including a flash-forward to a potential apocalyptic future that, while evocative, smacks somewhat of overeager fan-service) that would put Lord of the Rings’ The Return of the King to shame, but original writer Chris Terrio’s reconstituted script is rich enough that there’s plenty to reward the more committed viewer, and the storytelling and character development is a powerful thing, while the action sequences are robust and thrilling (even if Snyder does keep falling back on his over-reliance on slow motion that seems to alienate some viewers), and the new score from Tom Holkenborg (who co-composed on BVS:DOJ) feels a far more natural successor than Danny Elfman’s theatrical compositions.  The end result is no more likely to win fresh converts than Man of Steel or Batman Vs Superman, but it certainly stands up far better to a critical eye this time round, and feels like a far more natural progression for the saga too.  Ultimately it’s more of an interesting tangential adventure given that Warner Bros seem to be stubbornly sticking to their original plans for the ongoing DCEU, but I can’t help hoping that they might have a change of heart in the future given just how much better the final product is than any of us had any right to expect …
9.  SYNCHRONIC – writer-director duo Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are something of a creative phenomenon in the science-fiction and fantasy indie cinema scene, crafting films that ensnare the senses and engage the brain like few others.  Subtly insidious conspiracy horror debut Resolution is a sneaky little chiller, while deeply original body horror Spring (the film that first got me into them) is weird, unsettling and surprisingly touching, but it was breakthrough sleeper hit The Endless, a nightmarish time-looping cosmic horror that thoroughly screws with your head, that really put them on the map.  Needless to say it’s led them to greater opportunities heading into the future, and this is their first film to really reap the benefits, particularly by snaring a couple of genuine stars for its lead roles.  Steve (Anthony Mackie) and Dennis (Jamie Dornan) are paramedics working the night shift in New Orleans, which puts them on the frontlines when a new drug hits the streets, a dangerous concoction known as Synchronic that causes its users to experience weird localised fractures in time that frequently lead to some pretty outlandish deaths in adults, while teenage users often disappear entirely.  As the situation worsens, the pair’s professional and personal relationships become increasingly strained, compounded by the fact that Steve is concealing his recent diagnosis of terminal cancer, before things come to a head when Dennis’ teenage daughter Brianna (Into the Badlands’ Ally Ioannides) vanishes under suspicious circumstances, and it becomes clear to Steve that she’s become unstuck in time … this is as mind-bendingly off-the-wall and spectacularly inventive as we’ve come to expect from Benson and Moorhead, another fantastically original slice of weirdness that benefits enormously from their exquisitely obsessive attention to detail and characteristically unsettling atmosphere of building dread, while their character development is second to none, benefitting their top-notch cast no end.  Mackie is typically excellent, bringing compelling vulnerability to the role that makes it easy to root for him as he gets further out of his depth in this twisted temporal labyrinth, while Dornan invests Dennis with a painfully human fallibility, and Ioannides does a lot with very little real screen time in her key role as ill-fated Brianna.  The time-bending sequences are suitably disorienting and disturbing, utilising pleasingly subtle use of visual effects to further mess with your head, and the overall mechanics of the drug and its effects are fiendishly crafted, while the directors tighten the screw of slowburn tension throughout, building to a suitably offbeat ending that’s as devastating as anything we’ve seen from them so far.  Altogether this is another winning slice of genre-busting weirdness from a filmmaking duo who deserve continued success in the future, and I for one will be watching eagerly.
8.  WITHOUT REMORSE – I’m a big fan of Tom Clancy, to me he was one of the ultimate escapist thriller writers, and whenever a new adaptation of one of his novels comes along I’m always front of the line to check it out.  The Hunt For Red October is one of my favourite screen thrillers OF ALL TIME, while my very favourite Clancy adaptation EVER, the Jack Ryan TV series, is, in my opinion, one of the very best Original shows that Amazon have ever done.  But up until now my VERY FAVOURITE Clancy creation, John Clark, has always remained in the background or simply absent entirely, putting in an appearance as a supporting character in only two of the movies, tantalising me with his presence but never more than a teaser.  Well that’s all over now – after languishing in development hell since the mid-90s, the long-awaited adaptation of my favourite Clancy novel, the origin story of the top CIA black ops operative, has finally arrived, as well as a direct spin-off from distributor Amazon’s own Jack Ryan series.  Michael B. Jordan plays John Kelly (basically Clark before he gained his more famous cover identity), a lethally efficient, highly decorated Navy SEAL whose life is turned upside down when a highly classified operation experiences deadly blowback as half of his team is assassinated in retaliation, while Kelly barely survives an attack in which his heavily pregnant wife is killed.  With the higher-ups unwilling the muddy the waters while scrambling to control the damage, Kelly, driven by rage and grief, takes matters into his own hands, embarking on a violent personal crusade against the Russian operatives responsible, but as he digs deeper with the help of his former commanding officer, Lt. Commander Karen Greer (Queen & Slim’s Jodie Turner-Smith), and mid-level CIA hotshot Robert Ritter (Jamie Bell), it becomes clear that there’s a far more insidious conspiracy at work here … in the past the Clancy adaptations we’ve seen tend to be pretty tightly reined-in affairs, going for a PG-13 polish that maintains the intellectual fireworks but still tries to keep the violence clean and relatively family-friendly, but this was never going to be the case here – Clark has always been Jack Ryan’s dark shadow, Clancy’s righteous man without the moral restraint, and a PG-13 take never would have worked, so going for an unfettered R-rating is the right choice.  Jordan’s Kelly/Clark is a blood-soaked force of nature, a feral dog let off the leash, bringing a brutal ferocity to the action that does the literary source proud, tempered by a wounded vulnerability that helps us to sympathise with the broken but still very human man behind the killer; Turner-Smith, meanwhile, regularly matches him in the physical stakes, jumping into the action with enthusiasm and looking damn fine doing it, but she also brings tight control and an air of pragmatic military professionalism that makes it easy to believe in her not only as an accomplished leader of fighting men but also as the daughter of Admiral Jim Greer, while Bell is arrogant and abrasive but ultimately still a good man as Ritter; Guy Pearce, meanwhile, brings his usual gravitas and quietly measured charisma to proceedings as US Secretary of Defence Thomas Clay, and Lauren London makes a suitably strong impression during her brief screen time to make her absence keenly felt as Kelly’s wife Pam. The action is intense, explosive and spectacularly executed, culminating in a particularly impressive drawn-out battle through a Russian apartment complex, while the labyrinthine plot is intricately crafted and unfolds with taut precision, but then the screenplay was co-written by Taylor Sheridan, who here reteams with Sicario 2 director Stefano Sollida, who’s also already proven to be a seasoned hand at this kind of thing, and the result is a tense, knuckle-whitening suspense thriller that pays magnificent tribute to the most compelling creation of one of the best authors in the genre.  Amazon have signed up for more with already greenlit sequel Rainbow Six, and with this directly tied in with the Jack Ryan TV series too I can’t help holding out hope we just might get to see Jordan’s Clark backing John Krasinski’s Ryan up in the future …
7.  RAYA & THE LAST DRAGON – with UK cinemas still closed I’ve had to live with seeing ALL the big stuff on my frustratingly small screen at home, but at least there’s been plenty of choice with so many of the big studios electing to either sell some of their languishing big projects to online vendors or simply release on their own streaming services.  Thank the gods, then, for the House of Mouse following Warner Bros’ example and releasing their big stuff on Disney+ at the same time in those theatres that have reopened – this was one movie I was PARTICULARLY looking forward to, and if I’d had to wait and hope for the scheduled UK reopening to occur in mid-May I might have gone a little crazy watching everyone else lose it over something I still hadn’t seen.  That said, it WOULD HAVE been worth the wait – coming across sort-of a bit like Disney’s long overdue response to Dreamworks’ AWESOME Kung Fu Panda franchise, this is a spellbinding adventure in a beautifully thought-out fantasy world heavily inspired by Southeast Asia and its rich, diverse cultures, bursting with red hot martial arts action and exotic Eastern mysticism and brought to life by a uniformly strong voice cast dominated by actors of Asian descent.  It’s got a cracking premise, too – 500 years ago, the land of Kumandra was torn apart when a terrible supernatural force known as the Druun very nearly wiped out all life, only stopped by the sacrifice of the last dragons, who poured all their power and lifeforce into a mystical gem.  But when the gem is broken and the pieces divided between the warring nations of Fang, Heart, Spine, Tail and Talon, the Druun return, prompting Raya (Star Wars’ Kelly Marie Tran), the fugitive princess of Heart, to embark on a quest to reunite the gem pieces and revive the legendary dragon Sisu in a desperate bid to vanquish the Druun once and for all.  Moana director Don Hall teams up with Blindspotting helmer Carlos Lopez Estrada (making his debut in the big chair for Disney after helping develop Frozen), bringing to life a thoroughly inspired screenplay co-written by Crazy Rich Asians’ Adele Kim which is full to bursting with magnificent world-building, beautifully crafted characters and thrilling action, as well as the Disney prerequisites of playful humour and tons of heart and soul.  Tran makes Raya an feisty and engaging heroine, tough, stubborn and a seriously kickass fighter, but with true warmth and compassion too, while Gemma Chan is icy cool but deep down ultimately kind of sweet as her bitter rival, Fang princess Namaari, and there’s strong support from Benedict Wong and Good Boys’ Izaac Wang as hard-but-soft Spine warrior Tong and youthful but charismatic Tail shrimp-boat captain Boun, two of the warm-hearted found family that Raya gathers on her travels.  The true scene-stealer, however, is the always entertaining Awkwafina, bringing Sisu to life in wholly unexpected but thoroughly charming and utterly adorable fashion, a goofy, sassy and sweet-natured bundle of fun who grabs all the best laughs but also unswervingly champions the film’s core messages of peace, unity and acceptance in all things, something which Raya needs a lot of convincing to take to heart.  Visually stunning, endlessly inventive, consistently thrilling and frequently laugh-out-loud funny, this is another solid gold winner once again proving that Disney can do this kind of stuff in their sleep, but it’s always most interesting when they really make the effort to create something truly special, and that’s just what they’ve done here.  As far as I’m concerned, this is one of the studio’s finest animated features in a good long while, and thoroughly deserving of your praise and attention …
6.  THE MITCHELLS VS THE MACHINES – so what piece of animation, you might be asking, could POSSIBLY have won over Raya as my animated feature of the year so far? After all, it would have to be something TRULY special … but then, remember Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse?  Back in 2018, that blew me away SO MUCH that it very nearly became my top animated feature of THE PAST DECADE (only JUST losing out, ultimately, to Dreamworks’ unstoppable How to Train Your Dragon trilogy).  When I heard its creators, the irrepressible double act of Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (The Lego Movie, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs), were going to be following that up with this anarchic screwball comedy adventure, I was VERY EXCITED INDEED, a fervour which was barely blunted when its release was, inevitably, indefinitely delayed thanks to the global pandemic, so when it finally released at the tail end of the Winter-Spring season I POUNCED. Thankfully my faith was thoroughly rewarded – this is an absolute riot from start to finish, a genuine cinematic gem I look forward to going back to for repeated viewings in the near future, just to soak up the awesomeness – it’s hilarious to a precision-crafted degree, brilliantly thought-out and SPECTACULARLY well-written by acclaimed Gravity Falls writer-director Mike Rianda (who also helms here), injecting the whole film with a gleefully unpredictable, irrepressibly irreverent streak of pure chaotic genius that makes it a affectionately endearing and utterly irresistible joyride from bonkers start to adorable finish.  The central premise is pretty much as simple as the title suggests, the utterly dysfunctional family in question – father Rick (Danny McBride), born outdoorsman and utter technophobe, mother Linda (Maya Rudolph), much put-upon but unflappable even in the face of Armageddon, daughter Katie (Broad City co-creator Abbi Jacobson), tech-obsessed and growing increasingly estranged from her dad, and son Aaron (Rianda himself), a thoroughly ODD dinosaur nerd – become the world’s only hope after naïve tech mogul Mark Bowman (Eric Andre), founder of PAL Labs, inadvertently sets off a robot uprising.  Cue a wild ride comedy of errors of EPIC proportions … this is just about the most fun I’ve had with a movie so far this year, an absolute riot throughout, but there’s far more to it than just a pile of big belly laughs, with the Mitchells all proving to be a lovable bunch of misfits who inspire just as much deep, heartfelt affection as they learn from their mistakes and finally overcome their differences, becoming a better, more loving family in the process, McBride and Jacobson particularly shining as they make our hearts swell and put a big lump in our throat even while they make us titter and guffaw, while the film has a fantastic larger than (virtual) life villain in PAL (Olivia Colman), the virtual assistant turned megalomaniacal machine intelligence spearheading this technological revolution.  Much like its Spider-Man-shaped predecessor, this is also an absolutely STUNNING film, visually arresting and spectacularly inventive and bursting with neat ideas and some truly beautiful stylistic flair, frequently becoming a genuine work of cinematic art that’s as much a feast for the eyes as it is the intellect and, of course, the soul.  Altogether then, this is definitely the year’s most downright GORGEOUS film so far, as well as UNDENIABLY its most FUN.  Lord and Miller really have done it again.
5.  P.G. PSYCHO GOREMAN – the year’s current undeniable top guilty pleasure has to be this fantastic weird, thoroughly over-the-top and completely OUT THERE black comedy cosmic horror that doesn’t so much riff on the works of HP Lovecraft as throw them in a blender, douse them with maple syrup and cayenne pepper and then hurl the sloppy results to the four winds.  On paper it sounds like a family-friendly cutesy comedy take on Call of Cthulu et al, but trust me, this sure ain’t one for the kids – the latest indie horror offering from Steven Kostanski, co-creator of the likes of Manborg, Father’s Day and The Void, this is one of the weirdest movies I’ve seen in years, but it’s also one of the most gleefully funny, playing itself entirely for yucks (frequently LITERALLY).  Mimi (Nita Josee-Hanna) and Luke (Owen Myre) are a two small-town Canadian kids who dig a big hole of their backyard, accidentally releasing the Arch-Duke of Nightmares (Matthew Ninaber and the voice of Steven Vlahos), an ancient, god-tier alien killing machine who’s been imprisoned for aeons in order to protect the universe from his brutal crusade of death and destruction.  To their parents’ dismay, Mimi decides to keep him, renaming him Psycho Goreman (or “P.G.” for short) and attempting to curb his superpowered murderous impulses so she can have a new playmate. But the monster’s original captors, the Templars of the Planetary Alliance, have learned of his escape, sending their most powerful warrior, Pandora (Kristen McCulloch), to destroy him once and for all.  Yup, this movie is just as loony tunes as it sounds – Kostanski injects the film with copious amounts of his own outlandish, OTT splatterpunk extremity, bringing us a riotous cavalcade of bizarrely twisted creatures and mutations (brought to life through some deliciously disgusting prosthetic effects work) and a series of wonderfully off-kilter (not to mention frequently off-COLOUR) darkly comic skits and escapades, while the sense of humour is pretty bonkers but also generously littered with nuggets of genuine sharply observed genius.  The cast, although made up almost entirely of unknowns, is thoroughly game, and the kids particularly impress, especially Josee-Hanna, who plays Mimi like a flamboyant, mercurial miniature psychopath whose zinger-delivery is clipped, precise and downright hilarious throughout.  There are messages of love conquering all and the power of family, both born and made, buried somewhere in there too, but ultimately this is just 90 minutes of wonderful weirdness that’s sure to melt your brain but still leave you with a big dumb green when it’s all over.  Which is all we really want from a movie like this, right?
4.  SPACE SWEEPERS – all throughout the pandemic and the interminable lockdowns, Netflix have been a consistent blessing to those of us who’ve been craving the kind of big budget blockbusters we have (largely) been unable to get at the cinema.  Some of my top movies of 2020 were Netflix Originals, and they’ve continued the trend into 2021, having dropped some choice cuts on us over the past four months, with some REALLY impressive offerings still to come as we head into the summer season (roll on, Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead!).  In the meantime, my current Netflix favourite of the year so far is this phenomenal milestone of Korean cinema, lauded as the country’s first space blockbuster, which certainly went big instead of going home. Writer-director Jo Sung-hee (A Werewolf Boy, Phantom Detective) delivers big budget thrills and spills with a bombastic science-fiction adventure cast in the classic Star Wars mould, where action, emotion and fun characters count for more than an admittedly simplistic but still admirably archetypical and evocative plot – it’s 2092, and the Earth has become a toxic wasteland ruined by overpopulation and pollution, leading the wealthy to move into palatial orbital habitats in preparation for the impending colonisation of Mars, while the poor and downtrodden are packed into rotting ghetto satellites facing an uncertain future left behind to fend for themselves, and the UTS Corporation jealously guard the borders between rich and poor, presided over by seemingly benevolent but ultimately cruel sociopathic genius CEO James Sullivan (Richard Armitage).  Eking out a living in-between are the space sweepers, freelance spaceship crews who risk life and limb by cleaning up dangerous space debris to prevent it from damaging satellites and orbital structures.  The film focuses on the crew of sweeper vessel Victory, a ragtag quartet clearly inspired by the “heroes” of Cowboy Bebop – Captain Jang (The Handmaiden’s Kim Tae-ri), a hard-drinking ex-pirate with a mean streak and a dark past, ace pilot Kim Tae-ho (The Battleship Island’s Song Joong-ki), a former child-soldier with a particularly tragic backstory, mechanic Tiger Park (The Outlaws’ Jin Seon-Kyu), a gangster from Earth living in exile in orbit, and Bubs (a genuinely flawless mocapped performance from A Taxi Driver’s Yoo Hae-jin), a surplus military robot slumming it as a harpooner so she can earn enough for gender confirmation.  They’re a fascinating bunch, a mercenary band who never think past their next paycheque, but there’s enough good in them that when redemption comes knocking – in the form of Kang Kot-nim (newcomer Park Ye-rin), a revolutionary prototype android in the form of a little girl who may hold the key to bio-technological ecological salvation – they find themselves answering the call in spite of their misgivings.  The four leads are exceptional (as is their young charge), while Armitage makes for a cracking villain, delivering subtle, restrained menace by the bucketload every time he’s onscreen, and there’s excellent support from a fascinating multinational cast who perform in a refreshingly broad variety of languages. Jo delivers spectacularly on the action front, wrangling a blistering series of adrenaline-fuelled and explosive set-pieces that rival anything George Lucas or JJ Abrams have sprung on us this century, while the visual effects are nothing short of astounding, bringing this colourful, eclectic and dangerous universe to vibrant, terrifying life; indeed, the world-building here is exceptional, creating an environment you’ll feel sorely tempted to live in despite the pitfalls.  Best of all, though, there’s tons of heart and soul, the fantastic found family dynamic at the story’s heart winning us over at every turn. Ultimately, while you might come for the thrills and spectacle, you’ll stay for these wonderful, adorable characters and their compelling tale.  An undeniable triumph.
3.  JUDAS & THE BLACK MESSIAH – I’m a little fascinated by the Black Panther Party, I find them to be one of the most intriguing elements of Black History in America, but outside of documentaries I’ve never really seen a feature film that’s truly done the movement justice, at least until now.  It’s become a major talking point of the Awards Season, and it’s easy to see why – director Shaka King is a protégé of Spike Lee, and together with up-and-coming co-screenwriter Wil Berson he’s captured the fire and fervour of the Party and their firebrand struggle for racial liberation through force of arms, as well as a compelling portrait of one of their most important figures, Fred Hampton, the Chairman of the Illinois Chapter of the BPP and a powerful political activist who could have become the next Martin Luther King or Malcolm X.  Get Out’s Daniel Kaluuya is magnificent in the role, effortlessly holding your attention in every scene with his laconic ease and deceptively friendly manner, barely hinting at the zealous fire blazing beneath the surface, but the film’s true focus is the man who brought him down, William O’Neal, a fellow Panther and FBI informant placed in the Chapter to infiltrate the movement and find a way for the US Government to bring down what they believed to be one of the country’s greatest internal threats.  Lakeith Stanfield (Sorry to Bother You, Knives Out) delivers a suitably complex performance as O’Neal, perfectly embodying a very clever but also very desperate man walking a constant tightrope to maintain his cover in some decidedly wary company, but there’s never any real sense that he’s playing the villain, Stanfield largely garnering sympathy from the viewer as we’re shamelessly made to root for him, especially once he starts falling for the very ideals he’s trying to subvert – it’s a true star-making performance, and he even holds his own playing opposite Kaluuya himself.  The rest of the cast are equally impressive, Dominique Fishback (Project Power, The Deuce) particularly holding our attention as Hampton’s fiancée and fellow Panther Akua Njeri, as does Jesse Plemmons as O’Neal’s idealistic but sympathetic FBI handler Roy Mitchell, while Martin Sheen is the film’s nominal villain in a chillingly potent turn as J. Edgar Hoover.  This is an intense and thrilling film, powered by a tense atmosphere of pregnant urgency and righteous fury, but while there are a few grittily realistic set pieces, the majority of the fireworks on display are performance based, the cast giving their all and King wrestling a potent and emotionally resonant, inescapably timely history lesson that informs without ever slipping into preachy exposition, leaving an unshakable impression long after the credits have rolled.  This doesn’t just earn all the award-winning kudos it gained, it deserved A LOT MORE recognition that it got, and if this were a purely critical rundown list I’d have to put it in the top spot.  As it is I’m monumentally enamoured of this film, and I can’t sing its praises enough …
2.  RUN, HIDE, FIGHT – the biggest surprise hit for me so far this year was this wicked little indie suspense thriller from writer-director Kyle Rankin (Night of the Living Deb), which snuck in under the radar but is garnering an impressive reputation as a future cult sleeper hit.  Critics have been less kind, but the subject matter is a pretty thorny issue, and if handled the wrong way it could have been in very poor taste indeed.  Thankfully Rankin has crafted a corker here, initially taking time to set the scene and welcome the players before throwing us headfirst into an unbelievably tense but also unsettlingly believable situation – a small town American high school becomes the setting for a fraught siege when a quartet of disturbed students take several of their classmates hostage at gunpoint, creating a social media storm in the process as they encourage the capture of the crisis on phone cameras. While the local police gather outside, the shooters discover another threat from within the school throwing spanners in the works – Zoe Hull (Alexa & Katie’s Isabel May), a seemingly nondescript girl who happens to be the daughter of former marine scout sniper Todd (Thomas Jane).  She’s wound pretty tight after the harrowing death of her mother to cancer, fuelled by grief and conditioned by her father’s training, so she’s determined to get her friends and classmates out of this nightmare, no matter what.  Okay, so the premise reads like Die Hard in a school, but this is a very different beast, played for gritty realism and shot with unshowy cinema-verité simplicity, Rankin cranking up the tension beautifully but refusing to play to his audience any more than strictly necessary, drip-feeding the thrills to maximum effect but delivering some harrowing action nonetheless.  The cast are top-notch too, Jane delivering a typically subtle, nuanced turn while Treat Williams is likeably stoic as world-weary but dependable local Sherriff Tarsey, Rhada Mitchell intrigues as the matter-of-fact phantom of Zoe’s mum, Jennifer, that she’s concocted to help her through her mourning, Olly Sholotan is sweetly geeky as her best friend Lewis, and Eli Brown raises genuine goosebumps as an all-too-real teen psychopath in the role of terrorist ringleader Tristan Voy.  The real beating heart and driving force of the film, though, is May, intense, barely restrained and all but vibrating with wounded fury, perfectly believable as the diminutive high school John McClane who defies expectations to become a genuine force to be reckoned with, as far as I’m concerned one of this year’s TOP female protagonists.  Altogether this is a cracking little thriller, a precision-crafted little action gem that nonetheless raises some troubling questions and treats its subject matter with utmost care and respect, a film that’s destined for major cult classic status, and I can’t recommend it enough.
1.  NOBODY – do you love the John Wick movies but you just wish they took themselves a bit less seriously?  Well fear not, because Derek Kolstad has delivered fantastically on that score, the JW screenwriter mashing his original idea up with the basic premise of the Taken movies (former government spook/assassin turned unassuming family man is forced out of retirement and shit gets seriously trashed as a result) and injecting a big dollop of gallows humour.  This time he’s teamed up with Ilya Naishuller, the stone-cold lunatic who directed the deliriously insane but also thoroughly brilliant Hardcore Henry, and the results are absolutely unbeatable, a pitch perfect jet black action comedy bursting with neat ideas, wonderfully offbeat characters and ingenious plot twists.  Better Call Saul’s Bob Odenkirk is perfect casting as Hutch Mansell, the aforementioned ex-“Auditor”, a CIA hitman who grew weary of the lifestyle and quit to find some semblance of normality with his wife Becca (Connie Nielsen), with whom he’s had two kids.  Ultimately, he seems to have “overcompensated”, and his life has stagnated, Hutch following a autopiloted day-to-day routine that’s left him increasingly unfulfilled … then fate intervenes and a series of impulsive choices see him falling back on his old ways while defending a young woman from drunken thugs on a late night bus ride.  Problem is, said lowlifes work for the Russian Mob, specifically Yulian Kuznetsov (Leviathan’s Aleksei Serebryakov), a Bratva boss charged with guarding the Obshak, who must exact brutal vengeance in order to save face. Cue much bloody violence and entertaining chaos … Kolstad can do this sort of thing in his sleep, but his writing married with Naishuller’s singularly BONKERS vision means that the anarchy is dialled right up to eleven, while the gleefully dark sense of humour shot through makes the occasional surreality and bitingly satirical observation on offer all the more exquisite.  Odenkirk is a low-key joy throughout, initially emasculated and pathetic but becoming more comfortable in his skin as he reconnects with his old self, while Serebryakov hams things up spectacularly, chewing the scenery with aplomb; Nielsen, meanwhile, brings her characteristic restrained classiness to proceedings, Christopher Lloyd and the RZA are clearly having the time of their lives as, respectively, Hutch’s retired FBI agent father David and fellow ex-spook half-brother Harry, and there’s a wonderfully game cameo from the incomparable Colin Salmon as Hutch’s former handler, the Barber.  Altogether then, this is the perfect marriage of two fantastic worlds – an action-packed thrill ride as explosively impressive as John Wick, but also a wickedly subversive laugh riot every bit as blissfully inventive as Hardcore Henry, and undeniably THE BEST MOVIE I’ve seen so far this year.  Sure, there’s some pretty heavyweight stuff set to (FINALLY) come out later this year, but this really will take some beating …
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pvremichigan · 3 years
Text
Thank You For Loving Me. [Hell Arc Drabble 5]
Mich looked up at the man, the gray husk of a city before them nearly crumbling away, only visible vaguely through the corner of the eye. Her focus was on him, almost as if they stood in a gray senseless void atop a single strip of cement, creating the sidewalk between them. As if a vision had formed and so desperately tried to capture the surroundings but fell short of the details, the world nearly phasing in and out. This was excruciatingly unreal, the common feeling she’d experience in her dreams that had included Ryan.
Did she ever dream before then..?
Seeing him again. After over three years of his absence. The feeling was barely joy. It was agony. Mich was on the edge, on the verge of simply breaking down and losing it. How pathetic she felt knowing a single man could tear her composure down within moments, the composure she spent many lifetimes building up and solidifying to ensure nothing could drag her down so easily. Yet a single guy, a single man... Would be her downfall. Had been her downfall. It felt like he, in a way, would always will be even if just a small bit.
Something about him seemed so uncanny yet so familiar. This moment made her, for a moment, forget she was even in hell. Again, it felt like another dream. Another drunken blackout and the time in her mind that filled the gaps between consciousness. Perhaps the uncanny feeling came from the fact that she nearly couldn’t even recall what he looked like up close. She remembered the main features. The eyes, the hair, the terrible sense of style, the warm yet cold energy. Her stare lasted for what seemed like hours having only been minutes. The man spoke up, his awkward but stern composure showing through.
“Hoped I wouldn’t have to see you here again...”
The guilt struck as soon as those words left his mouth. That’s right, she would never be able to forget that... She was the reason he ever had to see her here in the first place. The guilt was immense, her chest and throat tightening worse than before. The tears began to weld up in the corners of her eyes, but she fought to refuse the fall of water.
“Move it, soldier. Let’s get outta here.”
...
Had he come back to save her again..?
For a moment, Mich had the urge to reach out and follow his command. She wanted so badly to just follow him to safety. It was only the flickering of the soul between them, it’s abrupt disappearance that brought her back to her mind. The reason she’s here is for that very thing, where the hell did it go...
Her heart sunk, realizing how close she was and how quickly she failed by distraction. The green haired man gave a light chuckle, putting his hand up as if to ease her.
“We’ll find it. You just need to follow your heart.”
What the fuck did he mean by that? This encounter made her uneasy... But he did have a point. It was very similar to what Xephrel had told her to do.
This didn’t feel real. For years she even had Carter scan hell for his soul or even his presence. Nothing, he was gone. Ryan was gone, there was no way he was here the whole time. The relief yet heartbreak of seeing Ryan again was so short lived. There was no way... Especially being so close to her soul. There was no way.
“Mich... We gotta go and we have to go now. We don’t have time, we have to get back home. I know a shortcut, let’s hurry up.”
Didn’t he just tell her how to get her soul though? He was rushing for them to leave. To escape. A shortcut..?
These demons need to learn how to mislead in better ways. This one was too easy. But... Knowing it was simply a demon - an obstacle - and not the man she once loved that had disappeared... It hurt. It did, it hurt. Shattered her... Better now to get it all out. Once... And for all. Besides.
There’s no way he’d try to save her from hell twice.
“No.”
“- No? Mich, we don’t have time.”
“I said no.”
“- No? Mich, we don’t have time.” 
He... Just repeated the same thing. Yet the voice grew a tiny bit more distorted than before. The redhead took a deep breath, standing in a way that would help her run or defend herself if need be all while seeming discrete. It’s time... To just let it out.
“No. ... For years, I waited. For years, I just waited. Waited on that very fucking couch. Your words- Ryan I GLUED them to my heart. Sewn them in with everything else you said. I held you to it. You said you’d be back, you PROMISED me you were gonna stay. You never did. You never did because that was the last time I ever saw you again.”
The tears were fought back but ultimately her eyes lost as the floodgates had opened. The anger in her tears could burn through wood. Like fire dripping from her tired eyes, she stood her ground. The surrounding area seemed like it grew darker in light, but her focus stayed on the one before her. If this was the first real fight, there was no backing down. Especially not from this.
Ryan, or ‘Ryan’, began to shift uncomfortably before her. His figure beginning to contort and distort the more she spoke, voice distorting further and further until it was barely recognizable.
“- No? Mich, we don’t have time.”
.
..
“̵̧̛̛̺͖̝̜̥̪͇̩̭̞͕͙͆̿͒̄̊̑̌͌͌̈͑͊͂̌̂̂̈́̄̄̅̓̀̂̄̀̈́͊̈̇͗̽̽̈́͐̾̔͑͗́̀͂̒͠͠͝-̶̨̡̡̛̛̻̻̠̪̠͓̪͇͕̞̫͉͉͖̯̦̘̻̘͋̓͋̊̑̏̉̀͆͌̈̀̒͊̈͛̌͋͐͊́̉͂̊̇̀̆͐͘̚̚̚ ̶̢̨͖͚̹͓̝͍̜̑̿N̸̡̻̞̣̦̞̗͎̠̩̱͖͎̤̮͕̩̲̻͖̟͇͚͔̟̙̙̖̳̥̰̦̳͎̝͎̐̆́͑͜ͅͅỡ̷̢̢̡̨̨̱̖̙͕̖̥̘̪͍̰͖̰̺̟̖̜̺̗̥̩̗͔̗̲̭̲̣̰̭̱͉̯̓̃̊̄̈́̀͌͑͆̅̍̉̄̓̐͘͜͜͜͠ͅͅ?̸̢̨̢̛̳̫̗͇͉͈͈̣̰̰̭̹̞͚̱̦̼̹̠̉̓̓̊̀͌̋͗̃̉̐̊͑́̈͐̎̍͋̀͊͒̒́͑̽͊̈̕̚̚̚͘͠͝͝͠ ̵̧̡̢̧̢̗͔̰̻̙̮͖̗̝̖̼̬̼̝̮͔̬̙̠̱͓̼̜̪̖̗͔̝͚̬͈̙̲̅͒̍̑͜ͅͅM̷̻̞͉͚̩͉͉̮̙̭̣͚̼͌̇͋̆͐̅̑̊̓̆͂͑͂͒͌̐̌̓͆̆̃̍̊̇͗͑̇̈́͛͗̓̓̋̐̄̈́̒̈́͘͘̕͘͝î̷͉̂̾̌̎̽̓̃͛̔̌͂̂̈̇̐͂͆̐̋̾̎͗͛͑̿̎́̽̽͛͠͠͝c̵̢̛͉̲̭͙̩͔̰͎̣͇̪̰͇͚͉̰̘͎̭͇͖̽̂̂̈́̿̽͊̅͛͐̋̀͆̃̀͊̌͊̍̉̓́̆̈́̓͌̅̅̎̒͗̒͜͝ȟ̷̡̗̺͉͕̹͓̮̲̦͙̪̮͉̩̙̪̠̳̰̗͇̖̠̬̭̗͎̰̥̞̻͍̤̋̍̏̅̂͠,̴̨̡̢̳̖͖̤̻͇̹̰̻͍͙̤̲͈͈̬̫̱͔̣̲͖̜̦̘͔͓̮̄̄̃̎̿̿̓̕͜ ̷̢̧̧̢̛̛̜͉̰̮̟̟͚̘̖̥̣̳͖͔͍͖͚̣̠̫̻̥̪̘͈̣̰̙̱͚͚̱̖̯̗̥̭̖̹̝̫̈́͒̀̋̊̑̇̅̃͐̈́̈̾̽͛͑͆͋͐̆̒̏̋̑̊̾̐͐̃͑̈̎̀̕̚̕̚̕ͅw̶̢̛͖̝͈̪̬͔̱͈̣̲͉̱̹̼̪̬͕̩̗̣̪̗̘̯̣̯̫̰̖̖̝̖̹̳̺̎͗̾̓̿̒̾̐̿͂͗̈́̔͗̓̑̾̏̌̃̽̂̕̚͘͝ͅͅé̷̡̯̜̪̝̗͕̼͖̳̤͉̘̪͕͖̮͍̳̬̜̫̩̣̪̞̝͍̯̟̯̳͚͍̱̟̜͇̩͉̟̬͙̘̄̀̑͗̃́͛͌̌̓̃̿̿̓͆͘͠ ̷̰̖̻͉̝̙͛̄̍͋͠͠͝d̴͖͖̯̹̜͇͎͈̈́́̌̈́̌͗̃̀̈́̃̓̆̃̌͘͠ǫ̵̡̨̛͇͓̻͙̟̱̣̳͓͙̼̳̟͓̭͕̫͖̼̳͕̙͇͇̞͚̺͖̱̖̝́͐̎͆͊̌̄̈̀̎̀̅̋̐̈̂̿́͂͗̊̔̇́̌̂̓͒̈̕̕͘͝͝ͅn̸̨̢̻͔̘̭̖̝̟̹̻̱̝͍̠͖͙̽̒̄͗̀̀̒͜’̵̨̡̢̦̯̗͇̪̫͕̗̩͖̠̹̖̪̬̭̲̲̦͈͖̫͂̅̓̔ͅͅt̸̛̺͎͔̞̥̯̓̍̋̋̿͋͊́͛̀̐̐̂͘ ̶̡̢̛̞̗̺͉̠̘͚͕͕̦͖̫͖̱̗̦͎͍̗͍͉̮͕̹̲̫̼̠̗̮͚̺̺̘̝̤̱̟̹̐́́̒̃̋̿̈́̔̈́̎̌͋̂̑̇̏̉̀͒̋͜͜͜͜͠ͅh̷͈̠͙͕͓̳̤̋͋͗͝a̷̧̅̈́v̸̨̨̧̢̨̛̛̥̳͓͙̼̹͍̩͍͖͎͍̗̘͇͚̟̟̹̘́̈̑̀͐̈́͂͊̉́̔͗͑̇̌̽̈̚̕̚͝͝͝ḙ̸̛̣̤͚͋̓̅̇͊̑̍̔͑̄̉̃̈́̃̋̿͑̄͆͐̆͊̍̂̊́͊̊͘͘͘͘̕̕̚͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͝ ̵̛̘̰͋̃̂̅̃͑̓͒̇̇́͐̏̾̍͒̄̀́́̂̏͛̊̚͝͝t̶̨̧̨̛̛̛̹̬̪͚͖̦̘̮͓͉̫̬̙͚̟̣͈̣͕̹̘͔͉̤̉̓͑̿̈́́̐̉̈́́͌̿̈́̈́̒͆͊͂̒̓̓̈́̀͊̅̓̓̒̓͒̚͘͝͝͠͝͠i̷̡̢̨̡̖̜̲̘̻̰̦͔̘̲̮͕̘̘̣̘͇̫̘͕͈̹͙̟͎̳̲̦͇̦̮̪̱̲̯̙̤̮̔̈̉̈́̀̈́̓͆͋̆̌͒͐̋̄̈́͑͌̈́̑͌̐͐̌͗̋́͒͆̉̊̕͜͜͜͠͝m̸̡̢̧̠̹̣̲͖͕͉̫̹̤̞̘̬̻̳͕͚͔̹̻̘͖̻̋̌̿̐̚͜ę̶̢̧̡̛̯̼̝͈̩̣̖̞̟̜͖̩̻͓̻̜͆́͗̓͌̈́̾̚͜͝ͅ.̴̢̡̺̜͇͍͕̰͕͉̟̗̯͕̻̜͖̙͓͙̜̭͂̃͋͑̉̾̌́̃̏̃͛̒͛̉͒̌̑̽̆̈́͛̎̈́̊̈͘͜͠͝͝”̴̢̤̣̪̥̳̞̝͉̼͎̜͙̝͍̤̲̗͍̠͎͌̈́̽̓̊̓͆͌̊̾̚̕͘͝
.
.
..
The scene in front of her was disturbing, sure. However she was never truly visually disturbed. It was the emotional disturbance of knowing she really would never see the real version of him again that had unsettled her. Still, she spoke on.
“I don’t know why you left... I don’t know why you never came back or even just broke up with me. I never got closure, that’s all I wanted. Because of you... Because of ME... I started drinking. Every night. Blacking out. Waking up. Repeating the day over and over again until 3 GOD DAMN YEARS PASSED. 3 years... Of doing NOTHING but wait at home, drink, and fucking lose myself in the process. There was no more spunk for you to come back to, there was no more fiery passion, there was just disdain and misery. I let go of myself, I gave up on myself. Seeing Riley... Every day it hurts. Knowing you named him, i-it’s a constant reminder of EVERYTHING you ripped away from me.”
The tears weren’t enough, there was some moments to breath before the next word was said, even some light sobs here and there. The pain continued to grow as this now grotesque creature grew still in front of her. There was nothing recognizable about it. It was no longer Ryan... But instead a distorted memory of what he became in her mind. A simple leech she held onto solely for the fact of keeping what she knew instead of what it was now. The voice that had distorted grew monstrously devious as it began to sound exactly like Ryan, despite the voice not matching the figure it stemmed from.
“I didn’t leave you... I didn’t leave you and Lance.”
Lance...
Her eyes widened a bit at the mention as her heart sunk further down once again. It was enough pause to send her into a state of derealization, only to come to when the monstrosity had made the decision to lunge at her. There was nothing comprehensible about this amalgamation, the image kept changing each time she looked. All she knew was that it existed and was out to fool her and harm her. Of course it would.
This is hell.
“You LEFT. You left us behind and DISAPPEARED.”
Her fists clenched, the power from the borrowed soul seemingly glowing gold in her veins, an urge from an outer source caused her to jump out of the way. Every attack was evaded instead of fought against. It’s all she could do. There were no weapons, there were too many risks with hand to hand at this point... All she could do was run away.
She’s so tired of it...
“YOU RIPPED IT ALL AWAY, ALL THE HOPES AND FUCKING DREAMS OF BECOMING A GOD DAMN FAMILY. WE HAD A FUTURE, RYAN, WE HAD PLANS AND GOALS AND DREAMS AND YOU ABANDONED US. YOU ABANDONED ME. AFTER BRINGING ME... FROM AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO FUCKED ME UP MENTALLY SO SEVERELY THAT I DID NOTHING BUT LASH OUT AT YOU, AFTER TAKING ME IN AND STAYING BY MY SIDE NO MATTER WHAT, NEVER LEAVING AND NEVER GIVING UP ON ME EVEN AFTER I SHOT YOU DEAD, DOING YOUR BEST TO BOND WITH... WITH MY S-SON... EVERYTHING... WE HAD EVERYTHING. I WAS EVEN TRYING MY BEST TO IMPROVE, TO BE THE BEST I COULD BE FOR YOU. YOU LEFT. YOU LEAVE, YOU DISAPPEAR... WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO, RYAN?!”
There was no hiding it this time. The tears were endless it seemed, it was agony. Misery and heartbreak at its core. Trying to lash out at the idea, the illusion of the cause of the pain... Never being able to face the source itself and instead having to let it all out on a figment of what it really was.
“I CAME BACK INTO THIS WORLD SOCIALLY AND I WAS TORN APART, RYAN... ALL I WANTED, ALL I FUCKING WANTED... WAS JUST TO BE LOVED. I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE AT THE TIME THAT IT DIDN’T NEED TO BE ROMANTIC. I CONSIDERED BARELY ANYONE A FRIEND... I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED. I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE DAVID AND PENNY, I DIDN’T HAVE MY FAMILY- I HAD NO ONE. I WAS ALONE... I WAS...”
There was no strength left to shout, no strength left to yell and lose her mind.
“I was so fucking alone... You- You were the first person to really teach me what love felt like. Romantically, you were truly the first person I’ve loved genuinely. I didn’t want to lose you... I loved you so much... I could tell you loved me. Every moment you got, you’d be right at my door. Then why... Why did you disappear..? So abruptly too... It makes me think something really happened, something prevented you from ever seeing me again. It just hurts so... So fucking much that I can’t help but blame you. You gave me the world and I wanted to return that favor.”
It seemed like her acceptance of the situation was shining through. The beasts attacks grew slower, the thing seemed far more fatigued than before. The more when she was in denial and anger, the bigger it seemed to be. Her acceptance and confrontation was slowly driving this monstrosity to the ground. Its unfathomable stature began to stiffen, gray discoloration growing from the bottom up. The monster must’ve been turning into stone.
“Even after I sent the message in December... It still hurts. I still held on, but I thought it would help. A-And it did... But it wasn’t enough.”
Looking to the side, an object that hadn’t been there before had now caught her eye. A rusted crowbar, how... Cliche. She made no rush as she walked over to pick it up, seeing now that the threat was barely able to move.
“Seeing you, even if it was fake, was what I needed. I’m know... I will never get closure on what I wanted closure on. All those questions unanswered, the answered speculated. It’s not doing me any good and I want to move on... So I’ll make my own closure.”
She raised the crowbar over the shoulder as if readying a bat in baseball. Her eyes stained with tears, the heartbreak still visible in her eyes and expression. Though she tried to force a smile, it was tight and painful to hold or even manage in the first place.
“Thank you for showing me what love was like.”
“Thank you for loving me no matter what I did...”
“Thank you for loving me.”
A bit of a lip quiver, but the woman took a deep breath at the figure. Within the blink of an eye, it pitched a last ditch effort to stop her despite being nearly completely turned to stone. The monster was back to Ryan’s form. As if he were right in front of her once again, reaching out with the same exact expression and pose he had right before he dropped dead during the time she had shot him to death. At this point, Mich was too far in to stop... Though she lowered the crowbar, arms practically limp for a moment before she dragged herself forward and wrapped her arms around the stone figure of Ryan. A desperate moment of weakness, just keeping him in a tight hug as she cried once more against the cold stone. All the memories of the past... The first time they met, the time he held her until she passed out, the time he ran to her house in the pouring rain, the time he kissed her for the first time, the Christmas party... Every single moment played in every detail as if they were all happening before her all over again, the memories swarmed through her mind. Moments go by for what seemed like hours. It was hard to break the embrace, having to force herself away with a couple sobs as she weakly stumbled back and stepped a few steps back more, raising the crowbar with shaky breathing. The crowbar trembled with her hand, but her determination to finally come to terms was enough to steady the shaking just a little bit.
“This is our last goodbye, Ryan.”
“Goodbye.”
Once that final parting was said, she took the crowbar and reeled back, swinging it towards the stone at full speed with a swift swing. The stone seemed to obliterate on impact, crumbling to near dust from top to bottom. As soon as that stone crumbled, it felt like a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders. There were no more tears to cry. No more worries to contemplate. Whatever answers were needed before were no longer necessary now. For the first and last time regarding this subject, this topic and situation that has haunted her for years... She was finally free.
The gold in her veins dimmed as the light source extracted from her body. The empty husk-like feeling of being soulless dawned on her yet again, and the dread nearly kicked in until she realized that it wouldn’t be forever anymore. However... Seeing how weak Xephrel’s soul had gotten within 3 weeks... Of course it needed to return. The fact that this took longer than it was supposed to... Was far more concerning than she had anticipated. Had she not been so far gone with memory loss and near death... She feels it would be a bit easier. However now there’s no time for contemplating what could have been. She doesn’t have long before she won’t survive without a soul here.
Mich was tempted to drop the crowbar, but knowing this place, she decided to keep it on her. She might need it. Having regained memories and not having a soul to block out the call of others, there was a calling - a lure she hadn’t heard as clearly as before. A positive call, a welcoming energy, like running home to loving arms. In a negative realm like this, that could only mean one thing...
Her soul.
And so... She ran. She followed that calling, Mich ran as fast as she could towards the call. The feeling, the energy. It drew her in. She had that locked in, after weeks of getting nothing and getting nowhere, she has a lead and she’s following. The only thing to stop her now was death... But the clock was ticking.
So she ran.
And she kept running.
And she never stopped.
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A Miraculously Wonderful Wedding Day
Requested by @crazyfanatic97 (Dress design also by @crazyfanatic97 )
Summary: When Marinette's wedding day is interrupted by an akuma attack, she thinks her luck couldn't be worse. Little does she know, this unfortunate turn of events is about to lead to what might be the most miraculous revelation she's ever had. (AO3) 
*****
Marinette usually considered herself a pretty relaxed person. After coming into her own in the fashion world, finally asking Adrien out, and successfully upholding her responsibilities as Ladybug for almost ten years and counting, she had faced enough “this is gonna be the end of the world” to figure out how to keep her cool in stressful situations. On particularly bad days, she might get a little “loud, angry fashion designer.” On a rare, worse day, she might feel like she was fourteen years old again. 
Today she was at full out teenage-Chloe-levels of stressed. 
For one, it was her wedding day. The week had already been busy. But starting at seven a.m., it had been an endless parade of “how do you want your makeup” and “let me mess with your hair” and “are these flowers ok?” and Marinette wanted to scream. 
But on top of all of that, the fussing and worrying and getting ready, there was an akuma. 
An akuma. On her wedding day. 
To say Marinette was pissed was an understatement. Marinette was experiencing full-on “let’s murder Hawkmoth” levels of rage. 
The ceremony was starting in two hours. There were a million tiny, but also somehow unimaginably important, tasks to complete and details to check. The caterer was late. There was no time left over to deal with a battle. 
But Marinette had been Ladybug for long enough that she didn’t hesitate to clear out the room, citing “wanting some alone time on this special day,” and other such excuses that rolled off the tongue. (She was practiced at this--she knew what she was doing.) 
“This is so unfair,” Marinette complained to Tikki. 
“I know! It sucks!” said Tikki, in companionable indignance. She trusted her chosen not to need any convincing to do her job. 
Marinette gave herself a minute to push down the worries and anger and stress. Paris needed their hero, their Ladybug, right now. Not a stressed out bridezilla. 
(Marinette, in usual fashion, was not giving herself enough credit. To deal with all this, she was a saint.) 
“Tikki, spots on!” 
*****
Ladybug arrived on the scene, to find Chat Noir already there. She smiled at him. Even though the timing was just so inconvenient it had to be cosmically planned, she always loved to see her kitty. 
“Hello, Bugaboo!” Chat called out as she landed on the roof side beside him. 
“Hello, kitty,” Ladybug returned, “It’s always a pleasure to see you, as you know, but I’m hoping we can make this quick? I have a big day.” 
“Same,” he nodded, “I’m short on time as well.” Here he let a big grin loose, and said, as if he couldn’t contain himself in his joy, “I’m getting married.” 
Ladybug gasped. 
“You’re kidding!”
He shook his head. 
“That’s insane. I am too!” she continued, bumping him lightly with her hip. 
Chat snickered. 
“I’m the ying to your yang, right? We’re on the same wavelength!” 
Ladybug laughed. 
An explosion boomed from the north of them. 
“Let’s get to it, hmm?” said Ladybug, slinging her yoyo in the direction of whatever today’s brand of catastrophe would be. 
“Right behind you,” Chat said, taking a running leap. 
****** 
Hawkmoth was apparently bringing out all the stops today. Who knows how much time had passed as Ladybug and Chat Noir faced off against the overpowered, claustrophobia-themed akuma he’d sent out. 
It didn’t help that the longer the two spent struggling, the more their banter and confident energy drained. The time constraint only served to raise the stakes, which didn’t exactly translate to “the superheroes at their best.”
Angoisse, who wore the grossest (bright yellow and somber grey) bodysuit Ladybug had ever seen, had the power to trap people in tiny opaque boxes. Pretty standard akuma. The formula tended to be “something bad happens = does that bad thing to other people.” Hawkmoth was getting bored, it seemed, after all these years. He rarely got too creative. 
Still, the infamous super villain had managed to create a serious challenge this time around, formula or not. 
So, one thing led to another. 
That is to say… Ladybug and Chat Noir got trapped in a teeny, tiny box together. No way out, and hardly any wiggle room. 
Both their timers were running out, so they stood with their eyes closed, waiting for the telltale sparkly, ultra-shiny glow of detransformation. 
What they hadn’t expected was Marinette’s wedding dress. With the poofiest bell shaped skirt to ever exist (or, as close to that as Marinette could reasonably achieve), it was about four or so feet in diameter. It suddenly sprang into existence, and shoved Chat back towards the opposite wall. 
A few things happened, in quick succession. 
Both Marinette and Chat’s eyes involuntarily opened in momentary shock. 
Before Marinette could squeeze her eyes shut, Chat lost his skin tight super suit, in favor of a tuxedo (designed by none other than Marinette). 
A few moments pause, for shock. Here we find lots of rapid blinking, and loss of words. 
“Holy sh-” Adrien started. 
“You’re not supposed to see the dress!” Marinette suddenly squealed, lunging for Adrien. 
She covered his eyes, and he burst out laughing. 
“It’s you!” he almost yelled, his smile so supernova it was probably visible from Mars and rivaled the sun. 
She let out some panicked giggles, which soon became full out cackling. Uncovering his eyes, she grabbed his arms and tucked her face into his neck, shaking with mirth. 
“It’s you…” she returned, then let out one last snort. “I think we might miss our wedding, dear.” 
He enveloped her in a hug. 
“Ehh,” he shrugged, “We’ll elope.” 
Marinette let out a mock shriek. 
“Not on your life, Adrien Agreste!” she pulled back to give him her best imitation of her mother’s sternest face. “What will the families say?!” 
He slowly shook his head, staring at her in earnest wonder. 
“I can’t believe you’re Ladybug,” he said, “The love of my life and my best friend are the same person.” 
“I can’t believe you’re Chat Noir,” Marinette cried, “You’re like, my two favorite people! In one!” 
The two stared at each other, dumbstruck, for a few moments. 
“This is so surreal,” Marinette finally said, “...But also it somehow makes sense? Of course you’re Chat Noir. No one else makes puns as bad as you two-I mean, as you do.” 
“I feel kind of dumb for not realizing sooner,” he said, “We’re total idiots, right?” 
“Total idiots,” she agreed, “Total idiots who are in loooove!” 
“We’re getting married!” Adrien exclaimed. 
“Today! And we’re all dressed up!” Marinette said, “I can’t believe I’m marrying Chat Noir. You! Adrien! Adrien Noir! Chat Agreste!” 
“I’m marrying Ladybug,” Adrien smirked, making the resemblances to his alter ego even more striking, “Fourteen year old me would be over the moon. And you’re Marinette! I’ve got to be the luckiest guy in the world.” 
Marinette leapt forward, kissing him. He let out a surprised gasp, before returning it.  
 “I hope we don’t miss the cake,” she breathed, pulling back. 
“At our own wedding?” Adrien chuckled, a little breathless himself. “I think they’ll wait for us before they get into the cake, sweetie.” 
“You might miss the cake if we don’t bust out of here!” Plagg suddenly interrupted. “I’ve given you like… five minutes for your disgusting love fest. Now you’ve gotta bust us out!” 
“Plagg’s right,” Tikki sighed, sounded disappointed, “Can this be postponed?”
Marinette nodded, digging macarons out of the pockets she’d been very adamant about sewing into her dress. 
“I hope this is alright,” she said to Plagg, “I don't know what you normally eat.” 
Within seconds the dynamic duo was back in costume. 
“Ready, dear wife?” Chat asked, pressing a quick kiss to his lady’s mouth. 
“Not your wife yet, kitty,” Ladybug winked. “I’m ready. Let’s do this!” 
Chat destroyed the box with his signature Cataclysm! 
Spirits were definitely lifted, and the second part of the fight went much quicker than the first. Within ten, twenty minutes Ladybug had purified the akuma and restored the city to its previous, un-rampaged, glory. 
“We’re so late,” Ladybug said, fistbumping her partner. 
“We are!” Chat said. “I’m kind of too happy right now to care.” 
“Me too!” 
They beamed at each other for a moment. 
“Race you,” Ladybug finally said, wiggling her eyebrows. 
“You’re on!” 
***** 
Alya and Sabine were understandably a little mad at Marinette, who had turned up only ten minutes before the ceremony was set to begin. 
Still, she had Supreme Bride Privilege, so all was quickly forgiven. They touched up her Miraculously unruined hair and makeup, and sent her to wait with Tom as the bridal chorus quietly began. 
Marinette’s dress, the instigator of the happy revelation earlier that evening, had delicate off-the-shoulder sleeves. The dress was white, but cut short to reveal the blue underskirt that matched her eyes. Gold trim lined the bodice and waistline, and sparkly star-shaped details peppered the whole affair. Designing her own wedding dress had been possibly the most challenging, and most rewarding, creative process of Marinette’s life. 
Usually, when wearing a design she was proud of, Marinette was hyper aware of everyone’s reaction. Today, as her voluminous skirt swished along the aisle, her hand tucked into her father’s arm, she had eyes only for Adrien. 
They had already seen each other that day, but it had been in the excitement of battle, and the shock of discovering each other’s identities had superseded any other observations. Now, as Marinette milked the walk for all it was worth, moving at almost a snail’s pace, she really took a moment to take in her groom. 
His golden hair was tousled, almost sparkling in the bright mid-afternoon light streaming through the windows. His black tuxedo (with gold and blue accents, to match her own dress) fit him perfectly, and the almost imperceivable dusting of blush and mascara Chloe had insisted upon meant he looked almost too handsome for words. 
But, in all honesty, Marinette couldn't care less about any of that. 
She stared into his bright green eyes, crinkled from his dopey smile, and Marinette felt like she was coming home. She knew he felt the same way. Just like she knew she and her partner would always be an unstoppable team, just like she knew the sun would rise and the moon would set. Adrien was Chat Noir, her kitty, her best friend, the love of her life and her ultimate inspiration. She had hardly known so for even thirty minutes, but she had never known something so fully and completely as she did now. 
As she finally stepped up to the dais, she shot him a quick wink, before turning to the priest. 
Vows were exchanged. They both said their “I do”s. They gave their first kiss as a married couple. 
Later, as they sat, feet near-blistered from dancing and eyes sparkling with happiness, sharing a piece of cake, they had their second kiss. And their third. And their forth. 
“My kitty.” Marinette giggled. 
“Today was perfect, wasn’t it my lady?” 
And despite the stress, and the battle, and almost being late to her own special day, Marinette was completely sincere when she said, “Yes. Yes it was.” 
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candicewright · 4 years
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Kindly requesting that analysis on wangxian being peak romance and how it compares to queerbaiting please 🙏 🙏 🙏
Hello, anon! I am very genuinely happy that my rambling thoughts interest you in any way (because I have a lot of thoughts) so here is my analysis as promised. It is veeeery long (almost 2k), sorry about that but I’ve really been looking forward to talking about this for a very long time. In the end, it isn’t so much about how Wangxian is peak romance and more about the censorship and how it compares to queerbaiting, I may have to do another post about that later on. Without much further ado, here it is!
The Untamed’s tasteful censorship vs. BBC Merlin’s queerbaiting and why I prefer one over the other.
I know most people follow this blog for Merlin and believe me when I say that I love this show more than I can say because it has quite literally changed my life. But The Untamed has opened my mind to a whole new world (insert Aladdin’s A Whole New World here) and it has given me a lot of perspective on a lot of things.
I often joke with my friends saying that my first consideration when choosing a new show to watch is saying “is it gay?” which is not far from the truth, but it’s also not the complete story. What I mean is that I ask myself “does this show have a relationship that I think is worth getting invested in?”. Yes, t usually happens that those are not heterosexual romances, but what can I say, I’m queer and I like my emotional support fictional characters to be so too. This is the exact reasoning that led me to Merlin. I saw a couple of videos about them on youtube and immediately found their dynamic compelling and their story beautifully tragic. But like with most shows these days, the writers failed (among other things) to make their relationship explicit. This has happened with every show I watched after Merlin too; The Witcher, Sherlock and Good Omens being the most notable ones. 
You can argue if they are or are not queerbaiting, I at least think Good Omens isn’t, but again, it is pretty subjective.
But i had grown so accustomed to this type of media that I fully went into The Untamed expecting something similar.
And oh boy was I wrong.
Now, the case of The Untamed is a curious one because it is supposed to be a love story between two men due to being based on a BL novel, but because of censorship, it had to be very toned down. I found this out right before actually watching the show while doing some preliminary research and while it did change my thought on what I was getting into I truly thought they would just erase the entire relationship and try to hide it behind straight relationships like in most other shows I had watched.
But that was absolutely not the case, to my endless relief and joy.
But how? How did they get away with censoring all the explicit aspects of a romantic relationship while still managing to tell a wonderful love story? And how does this compare to the queerbaiting of a show like Merlin?
Warning: I will be using different parts of both shows and probably some of the MDZS novel to illustrate my point, so there will be spoilers.
The initial accidental chemistry + innuendos vs. The establishment of the very clear enemies to friends to lovers trope
I’m going to use Merlin to compare and contrast this because it’s what I know best and the other show I've given a lot of thought to.
Merthur and Wangxian are both similar and different dynamics in the way they’re written and it was one of the things that drew me into The Untamed in the first place. Both stories begin with our main duo meeting and instantly disliking each other, ending up in a fight. And while they both set the story up to lead to a more intimate bond being created between the pairs, there’s something very different from the start.
Merthur is deliberately set up to be a close friendship and all innuendos and chemistry are accidental (in my opinion and only at the start). Let me explain.
The concept for Merlin clearly started with the idea of how the story would change if Merlin was a young boy arriving in Camelot instead of an old powerful sorcerer. Then they made the main plot to be his destiny/friendship with the young and arrogant Prince Arthur. I truly believe that the first innuendos were not what they intended and that all chemistry and sexual tension between the characters comes courtesy of Colin and Bradley and how undeniably good they look on screen together. Fans then started speculating (as we always do) and then the production team decided to run with it, making it almost a recurring joke when it shouldn’t have been. Had they treated that developing relationship seriously like what they were hinting it was, the show would have been very different.
The Untamed on the other hand, is everything but accidental. What they’re doing is deliberately establishing the enemies to friends to lovers trope from the very beginning. It’s not an accident that during their first fight on the roof of the Cloud Recesses Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji that women would find his true character very disappointing and that no one would want to marry him. he says so several times in fact and this is clearly both to highlight the change in their relationship as well as to say that Lan Wangji is not at all interested in the opinion of any female (or anyone besides Wei Wuxian for that matter). This is the same stuff we see in mainstream straight romances: one of the characters saying something to the effect of “who would want to date them?” only to end up involved with the other at the end of the story.
You could argue that Merlin does something similar with the conversation between Merlin and Kilgharrah where Merlin is affronted by the idea of having to help Arthur where he says “There must be another Arthur because this one’s an idiot...If someone wants to kill him, they can go right ahead. In fact, I’ll give them a hand.” but the difference between these two is that Merlin is hiding behind the guise of destiny and friendship to make these parallels while Wangxian is deliberately and clearly in a romantic context.
The deliberate continuation of the subtext vs. The suggestion of something more
The accidental nature of the subtext doesn’t last long and in true BBC fashion, it turns into full-on queerbaiting real fast. Again, you can argue endlessly about when the deliberately suggestive comments start, but by the end of the show, we know for a fact the entire production staff and even the staff were aware of the effect and reception their show was having. This was no longer an innocent mistake on people reading too much into it, it was a very purposeful narrative that they were pushing without ever truly committing to it. This is what got fans going crazy over “poetry” or lines like “you’re the only friend I have and I couldn’t bear to lose you”. These are all very intentional choices they made to keep their devoted fanbase interested and while we’re all very thankful for this material it really keeps us wondering what it could have been if they had taken that extra step.
The Untamed can’t take that step because of the censorship laws, but it’s still much more daring than Merlin ever was. While Merlin keeps the soulmate aspect of the Merthur relationship a suggestion, The Untamed outright says it, which was baffling to me. It even does it at a pint where the first kiss happened in the novel, which you would think makes it less romantic. But that's absolutely not the case because of both the non-consensual nature of that original kiss and because of how heartbreakingly beautiful the replacement scene is. Not only that, but they also keep all the elements you could expect to see in any pre-relationship stage of a developing romance story: endless amounts of mutual pining, not-really-unrequited love, jealousy, panicking at the sight of your crush (yes I’m looking at you 15-year-old Lan Wangji) and even some fun in vino veritas moments. They even have a son together! It doesn’t get more clear than that!
This is all the way the show has of suggesting something more without outright saying (even though it’s a pretty not subtle way of suggesting it).
Merlin, on the other hand, keeps trying to deny the romantic nature of the Merthur dynamic, which brings me to my next point.
The introduction of a female love interest as an excuse vs. The awareness that the audience understands the relationship in the way it's meant to be
Now, this one really bugs me, because of all the ways they could have done this they truly chose the worst and destroyed Gwen’s character in the process. 
In my opinion, the writers could have done a few different things. They could have fully developed the Merthur relationship as a romantic one while keeping Gwen’s role as a queen and creating a much more satisfying character arch for her, maybe even getting her together with Morgana or Lancelot. They could have focused on the Awen romance and therefore lowered the suggestions of romance between Merlin and Arthur, once again creating a much more enjoyable subplot for Gwen, though it could have also meant sacrificing the very powerful bond between the main characters. They could have even taken advantage of Gwen’s crush on Merlin in the first season and gone on the full-on polyamory direction! That would have been much better! Instead, they halfassed the romance between Arthur and Gwen and made it just...meh. Not that Angel and Bradley didn’t do a great job, it was more of a writing problem than a them problem.
The Untamed (despite the rumours and possibilities of a Wen Qing/Wei Wuxian relationship) decided to just run with the not really platonic relationship between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, making them the complete focus of the story while still upholding the censorship laws. What I think the biggest difference between the two shows is, is that one runs on assuming the audience is stupid while the other one assumes the audience is smart.
Let me explain once more.
The Merlin writers clearly thought that by introducing Gwen as the love interest to Arthur he would just become what? Magically straight? As if we hadn’t seen the last four seasons of sexual tension between him and Merlin? The audience was not fooled for the most part, but some people did fall for this, coming with the argument “But he’s married to Gwen so he’s straight!” as if being gay or straight are the only two possibilities but oh well.
The Untamed does quite the opposite. It relies on the fact that the audience is going to catch onto the romantic aspect of the narrative without them actively saying anything because we are Not Dumb. It also does something that I think is quite beautiful which is leaving it up for interpretation as far as whether it’s platonic or not and even more touching is the way the story has resonated with the ace community (that is according to what I’ve seen, please do correct me if I’m wrong) by focusing on their emotional and intellectual connection instead of in their physical and sexual one.
This is why, in the end, I prefer what I call The Untamed’s tasteful censorship over Merlin and other shows’ blatant queerbaiting.
I feel the need after all of this to state that Merlin is still my favorite show of all time and that this is not by any means me saying that Merlin is absolute trash or something like that. There’s also a lot more that I think can be said in this conversation, so please feel free to tell me what you think and if you’ve ever encountered something similar to this.
Also, if I made any mistakes or wrong points, please don’t be shy about telling me!
I hope this rant was at least somewhat interesting and that you found it satisfactory, anon!
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wuyifankris · 4 years
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Kris Wu in Harper’s BAZAAR, July 2020 Issue
“Only when there’s improvement, will you feel alive.”
"A person with his own way of thinking" - more and more people see this in Kris Wu. From starting off with films to continuing on with variety programs, he has skilfully executed his roles with a sense of control, clear self-recognition and steadiness. We see a young man who goes along the path set with his own rules, has definite goals, is dedicated to work, and is constantly improving. In several months' time, Kris Wu will be thirty years old. BAZAAR invited him to share more about his story, and discuss about the past twenty nine years of his life.
In this world, one must be full of vigour
If this is a letter for myself, I think I'll say: For the past twenty nine years of my life, I've lived a life with no regrets. Every task I've done, every decision I've made, the experiences at at every stage of my life, the honour, the applause, the slander... are all indispensable in my journey of growth.
Regretting is painful, and it's hard not to regret. I am well aware that I'm lucky in this aspect. But whether or not I regret, in the end, it all depends on myself.
I have a very straightforward attitude when it comes to my life. I will only do the things that I'm sure I want to do, anything else or other less than ideal alternatives simply do not exist in my field of consideration. Only little kids will have endless choices and dilemmas, as an adult one should set their goals at the highest standard and focus on accomplishing it well.
Therefore, there was never a "Plan B" in my life. I would never prepare a second plan for myself. I feel that this trait of mine is typical of Scorpios, as long as I am set on doing something, I will make sure it's done to the best that I can.
You'd ask, what kind of preparations will I make? Everything. I'll do every kind of preparation that comes to mind. I will be deep in thought about it every moment, every minute, every second, and even in my dreams. This is the kind of focus and effort I give towards my goals.
Before turning thirty, I have already found a very good balance. I'm getting closer towards it, and my goals in life are clearer.
But the "most important things in life" are not set in stone, and change at every phase. I will set long term goals and short term goals. For example music - music is very important to me, it's something which I have invested a lot of time in that I love and am passionate about. At the same time it's my career, my job. So of course, I will continue pursuing it. However, at the same time, this doesn't mean that there aren't any other parts in my life with new directions and new goals. Like racing, it's something that I really enjoy now. I will also continue to set new goals for  myself for small things such as this.
I have always strongly believed in setting and following goals, and it is because of them that I am motivated to constantly improve. But thinking about my life as a whole, I'll refrain from prematurely setting an ultimate aim for certain things. Instead, I will maintain an open mind and allow myself to constantly aim for new goals. Also, at any point in time I will not allow myself to become someone without any goals.
Persistently setting goals for yourself and ceaselessly moving forth is the way one can continue to live youthfully and enthusiastically. I think that this is also a good way to maintain a positive mindset. Only when there's improvement, will you feel alive. Otherwise, there may not be much motivation in your life, and it could become very dim.
Since we are in this world, let's live this life with vigour! This has always been my attitude towards life.
Amidst all the recognition from others, your inner voice is what matters the most.
You have to take control of your life
As one gets older, they will gradually realise that although judgements from others may affect a person externally or mentally, this is merely the icing on the cake.
When you work hard, you will receive honour and recognition. But amidst all the recognition from others, your inner voice is what matters the most. Whether you believe the things you do are meaningful or not, whether through doing them you can obtain value, it's your opinion that far outweighs other matters.
So I feel that for many situations, regardless of the outcome, regardless of how much honour and success it brings to you, what's even more important is whether you have enjoyed the process or not.
To me, music is a very good way of expressing myself and allows me to make a mark in history. It allows me to express certain things that cannot be put into words, which can invoke an emotional response from the listener. Listeners who resonate to the song will be drawn towards it, and as a result of our shared similar experiences, bring about "us".
Perhaps one day I'll get old, or not be in this world anymore, but throughout my whole life, all the music I've made will remain, and will still continue to reach people, whether they're still young or already aging. This is really meaningful and important to me. This is a joy that I have found in music, it's a motivation that will spur me on to continue to improve in this area.
Furthermore, you guys will be able to see a very clear storyline and path of growth in my works, which includes my passion towards hip hop now, as well as my love for traditional Chinese style. As I move forth in life, I continue to incorporate my observations and thoughts [into my music] progressively. When you guys look back on my works, you'll be able to find the answers in them.
My love for music has led me to be deeply immersed in related industries as well. Why do I like fashion? It's because fashion is closely linked to music. When I like one industry, I'll pick up all the skills that I can that are possibly linked to it. From singing to dancing, acting, fashion, producing music, writing lyrics, and even taking up directing roles at times. I hope that I can pick up all sorts of skills that are associated with the things I like. After all, it's always good to have more skills.
The more you know, the more you will want to treat the things you're most interested in with the greatest detail of effort and professionalism, as well as open explore new possibilities. Even if one day I am no longer a "popular celebrity", I will still find a place for myself in this world. I can also take a step back behind the scenes and lead the life that I want to live. I feel that this defines a person's values and worth. With such skills and confidence I feel that I can continue to navigate on this path towards the unknown. This is probably why I don't get anxious too easily too.
So you see, it's your interests that will carry you along to further places. These interests are a part of life. Your life is still in your hands, you have to take full control of it. Do the things that you want to do, let the things you truly believe in lead your way. This is what matters the most.
So if you ask what I'm chasing, I'll tell you that I'm chasing the lifelong mindset of non-stop improvement.
I constantly feel as if I'm in the middle of the ocean, not knowing when deadly waves will arrive.
30 is just a number
Actually I don't think that just because I'm turning 30, I've matured a great deal. There are many stages in life from birth till now that have made me grow. Perhaps every two years I'll encounter a somewhat major life problem or unforeseen circumstance.
I constantly feel as if I'm in the middle of the ocean, not knowing when deadly waves will arrive, nor knowing when it will turn calm and tranquil. Perhaps in the blink of an eye the waves become rough and choppy at night, and the next moment at dawn the skies are clear. This is already the norm in my life.
As a result, this cultivated my mindset from very early on in life. My moods wouldn't fluctuate that much, perhaps starting around 20 years old I was already pretty calm and stable. It also wasn't because I was at this age that I began to treasure time even more and work extremely hard, as I had always put in so much effort all this while.
30 years of age is just a number. I'll tell myself, I'm already 30 years old, I have to be more stable. But in fact, I did not define what I wanted to do in certain stages of my life merely because I reached a specific age. I feel that I shouldn't be affected by a "midlife crisis". At age 30, it's still early, after living for another 10 years it probably won't be considered middle aged. Even at that age, one should not use terms such as middle aged, youth, elderly, young person and such to define the stages in your life.
You should define what you want to do at each stage in life. Continue doing what you want to do according to your own pace and you will be fine. As for the things beyond our control - I used to dream of being a professional basketball player, but due to an injury it was not possible. Let it go if it can't work out, there will always be regrets in life.
Gains and losses, strengths and weaknesses are all often experienced in life. Missing something or messing it up it also part of life. When life isn't perfect, you don't have to beat yourself up over it. Because when you begin to do so, your whole system may break down and you won't be able to efficiently think of ways to solve the problem, and things may end up spiralling downwards.
If it's not done well, then continue to try, or switch to an alternate route. Don't rashly choose to berate yourself.
This isn't vanity or arrogance, but a form of self-awareness. If you wish to lead a happier life, you must possess a sense of self-awareness. No matter where you go, you have to stand behind yourself with utmost support, and be your number one fan. You have to say out with confidence: I think I'm still not bad.
Actually, I feel that during this stage in life, I am most curious about the things that I can't do well. The more I can't do something well, the harder I want to work on it. Once I've accomplished it through further determination and actions, I have once again levelled up.
But before that, I definitely have to be interested in the task. If it's something I don't like, no matter how good it is, I won't be envious of it.
This is a form of respect towards myself. Life is short, we shouldn't make do with too many compromises, nor should we waste it.
No matter how good an era is, if you're not in it, it can't be considered good. An era that doesn't include you is meaningless.
There are blazing flames in my heart
There are some people who may think that since debut I was a super idol, a big celebrity that's worlds apart from my peers. But that's not the case, my personal life isn't too different from other young people. I enjoy going out on my own, without a driver, bodyguard or babysitter... and I'll also go out with non-industry friends to shop, eat, and play basketball. I was able to lead the life that everyone had, there was just a little gap due to my career.
Setting aside career, I am someone who is very close to the era of 90s kids.
I feel that this is a very good era, of course, it's not because this era is a certain way that makes it good or not. I believe that: As long as it's an era that I exist in, it's a good era. No matter how good an era is, if you're not in it, it can't be considered good. An era that doesn't include you is meaningless.
Obviously, I still maintain this mindset with blazing flames in my heart. I still believe I'm a simple and pure person, otherwise I won't be racing cars at this age all of a sudden.
However there are many ways to define "pure", and many people believe that when a person is said to be pure, it's because they are good - have not encountered much, is a good boy, a great kid - then I'm obviously not someone who appears to be one.
But I believe that the meaning of pureness extends beyond this.
True pureness exists within your heart, it's whether you have undivided focus towards the things that you are passionate about, leaving behind all other reasons, whether you are still able to put in effort into the things you love, whether you are able to understand this world simply, whether you can treat every person you meet with sincerity, and whether you can face the world with a childlike gentleness and curiosity.
We all feel that once we step into the adult world, everything immediately turns boundlessly complex. But true pureness is understanding all of your past experiences. With such events and turbulent times, if you can continue to maintain pureness in your heart, you are pure.
This is the kind of pureness I possess. 
Perhaps it's because my goals in life are constantly changing, and small goals are constantly emerging, so I have always lived a life that's pulsing with vitality, and my galaxy is still blazing. Perhaps it's because I have gone through certain experiences, which surprisingly widened my heart.
Looking forward in life, perhaps I may encounter some stress when I reach 40 years of age. But I feel that even if I'm 40, I'll still be a very cool person, still continue to take part in car racing, and stay immersed in my studio making music. I also think that at that time, I'll probably slow down my pace in life.
Perhaps I'll spend more time to really feel this world at present, travel to places I've never been before, explore more and see more, discover life, experience life.
I believe that [when I reach] that time I will have an entirely different mindset than what I do now. I'm still nervous now because there are certain aspects that I am lacking in. I'm looking forward to having that mindset.
But right now, at 30 years of age, I'll take my blazing flames along with me and race forth!
translation: @wu_yi_fan
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florianavlaicu · 3 years
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Door to Freedom, self reflection on pattern recognition
Pattern recognition sets us free- this is the gem revelation for today’s Life theme and transmission.
Free from what? One might be able to go and do anything he or she desires… but still not feeling free.
Is freedom a feeling?
I love watching the movie Eat Pray Love.
I have been watching it every now and then for the past years.
First time I watched it was in summer of 2018, in Transylvania, Sibiu. I was a volunteer for a permaculture garden. Beautiful time and place.
The movie and the place lifted me much and gave me the insight and clarity that it was time for me to prepare to go to India. After almost 4 months and my first vipassana, I took a one way ticket to the mystical land to find what I did not even know I was looking for.
Every time I watch the movie I get a new perspective.
You know that scene in Bali where she is with this naked Dj that is inviting her into a casual love affair and she is saying to him something like: I have dated you 15 years ago and I have dated you 6 months ago.
This is her recognising of a pattern choice in relationships that is not serving anymore the integrity of her heart. She has made the unconscious conscious by taking these inner and outer trips to return to her core. I think that the balance they are storytelling in the movie is the actual core stability that is explored in the Gene Keys.
Even if we all take this template journey, of Eat Pray Love, go Italy, India and Bali… it will give us totally different perceptions and revelations, because our deep subtle layers of energetics will highly influence everything, all the time and space.
I skipped the italian indulgement and went straight into the unknown of India.
It was overwhelming, exciting, revelatory, fluid, sacred… all the humanities frequencies low and high were there.
I stayed for 133 days and it gave exactly what I needed.Purpose.
I met with a frequency there that I later found out through the Gene Key why I was so fascinated by it.
This frequency was embodied by Ananda Mayi Ma, "the most perfect flower the Indian soil has produced".
I felt this sacred feminine energy twice in Goa, once in my room and once in the open sitting space of the yoga school I was working for.
It felt so familiar to me with heart feeling of surrendering to her divine will.
But both times, I let myself be distracted by something else, outside my self.
I began to study, think and feel of her… then shortly after, the Gene Keys appeared in my life and showed me that in my Hologenetic Profile I have the 58th, unlocking a deeper understanding within me related to Bliss, Joy, Service, Divine Will and Love.
If you would like to meet this Divine feminine that was and is Ananda Mayi Ma, Richard Rudd, the wisdom channel of the Gene Keys is offering us this profound poetic exploration here:
https://youtu.be/LSuihr6yUKI
So you see, even if it might have seemed to be a shallow thing to do…. to follow a movie script… I actually followed my intuition, my joy.
The same I feel about Bali… there is something there for me to meet within. And I know the currents of love will take me there eventually.
I am activating myself so much with the Gene Key, I am reading and contemplating; opening myself into awakening by the favor of Grace.
I was seeking for some higher teachings encompassing perspectives from a multidimensional level that would lead me to a deeper understanding of life, of myself.
I am actually seeking to return home. I am looking to return to my integrity and empty myself, as so much I have taken in as if it would belong to me.
Today, the 55th got me. I am free 😂
Or at least I am working on it.
I am shocked by how blind I was and still am. The many beliefs that I have that I am not aware of are contouring my reality. And then I complain and I blame.
This runs deep in my family. This runs deep in our collective.
And it feels very connected to being judgemental, thus keeping myself far aways from experiencing connection with the integrity and perfection of all of life.
Today I found out that what I was intuitively stretching so much was my fascia, feeling very constrained… showing how much I have separated myself from the whole, because of my borrowed beliefs.
I feel like a carousel of revelations, that if I am engaged in one relationship it is more than enough to illuminate my shadow patterns. I understand the need for slowing down. Where I was running, there was nothing really to see, to be able to take responsibility to bring my unconscious into the light of consciousness. I was given the perfect environment to see my shadow and light work.
And I am honest to myself now that I was not in enough energetic flow and awareness to do work for others. Although this work still is, just by personal integration and sending out a fresh energy wave out there, in there.
I saw patterns of how I am addicted to stress and hijack my own nervous system, choosing to consume things that would amplify my stress. Slowly, slowly, my choices changed and still changing. It greatly to pause and breathe deeply, especially when I am not in the mood, cause I am drifting in a mental noise.
I was wondering and asking directly to my Inner Divine Self to explain to me what actually sovereignty means. What does it mean to take responsibility for myself? How do I become self sustainable? How do I end this co- dependency loop? To whom did I give my power away? What is clouding my heart sight?
What is empowerment?
Is it enough to just See the pattern and when next time comes, choose to walk away? Be present and patient, Floriana.
I have been taking in so much of the spiritual knowledge as if all is relevant and true for me. Emptying something and filling it with something else. Should empty and just let God fill in?
Not easy to filter and keep in my life what is really nurturing me into self awakening and ascension.
I am recognising my victimhood shadow.
I am seeing the play of life and how I have projected so much on others, blaming them for my lack, for my misfortune. I am tired and rested in the same time. I have cleaned some more of the inside basement and attic.
More green blue golden inner space, that’s my wish. Make it indigo, violet, red, orange and yellow also.
All is so subtle, that slowing down is a prerequisite to self- artistry.
My Lemurian Roots surfaced some more these past few days. Like an old and new love arising within my cells. The intents are becoming purer and purer. The Spirit is awakened within me. I tell, this is the softest of the softest love I have ever felt.
In my daily morning water ritual, I am beginning to let go of any kind expectations, just being the Loving of all that is.
I wish I could be like this all day, all ever and ever.
One day, I was woken up with: “ Speak for the Water “
I have no idea where my next home will be, but I am sure it is near her body, The Healing Sacred Feminine Water. I have some ceremonies to perform.
I am embracing my Sensitivity and it feels it has a lot to do with the Receptivity of my mind, my body, my heart.
I understand that I am an expression of a certain frequency of Ecstasy. I was made of the ecstasy of the primordial water giving birth to life. But what does the Sun want from me… Everything is showing me that I was born to be THIS LOVE.
I am allowing myself to be seen without expectations.
I am practicing giving love without expectations.
I see that I am playing hide and seek with myself. I pretend to do something else when someone comes and might discover my joy, judge me for it, punish me for it. I am afraid to be myself, I hide myself and then I seek for myself… an endless loop of self- inflicted prison.
Yes, I was a child and my parents laughed and punished me for my natural expression and exploration.
Then I would learn to avoid being seen, heard, but longed to be seen, heard.
I missed and craved for their warm touch, acceptance and tenderness.
So I entered deeply into the shadows of sexual addiction.
I blamed my DNA legacy. I am a victim and I am not a victim. By reinforcing my blaming pattern, I continued to constrict the actual beauty of my DNA.
Eventually life showed me that Hey, it is ok, feel into your pain, embrace yourself, you are on your way. This is the way. Guilt is the Sun Light in disguise. Awakening is not easy, nor hard.
I completely understand people who are living in the woods and I completely understand people who are living in the cities.
If my inception as a human seed and my 9 months experience inside the motherly belly is contained in the wisdom and library of my cells, then can I make now a transfer of care, safety and beauty perception of the outside world? Incept and carry myself again? Rebirth myself as completely new human being, born with activated 3rd Eye,
Vitality, Intuition, Peace and more, knowing that all is well and life is interconnected, self- sustained, beautiful and its people are amazing pearls that I can trust and love without fear and limits?
Can I visit that belly timeline and make some energetic operations? Hmm.
In a way, self love is just this.
I will be born like this… but in the future.
This life is about a different kind of journey and it is ok, perfect just as it is.
I have been under so much stress and unease, misfitting the requirements of the world.
Can I let go of the attachment to my own storyline of being a victim of life?
Yes. No. Not yet. Yes.
Can I sing without hiding and judging myself?
Yes. No. Not yet. Yes.
Some friends said that I am changing my mind too much. Yes, I am. I must. I must return my mind to its original receptivity.
I must return to my original beingness. I must return to play. I must not make it a must. I must forget myself into mindfulness.
I find it very strange that I need to do things to survive.
I see there is a game of survival, of competition.
I am just not energising this game anymore. I have discovered a new way of living.
So, we all energise some kind of game after all?
Do we really choose, now, in this lifetime, in this Earth body or it had been decided when we sat and raised pure consciousness hands at the Divine Table of Service?
I am such a copycat sometimes.
I am so eager to guide people to live their lives in a better way, but is this really ok? Even guidance of any kind feels more like entertainment, always tricky.
I find that being the silent loving witness of someone speaking is the most genuine guidance I can offer. Me; maybe you feel different and that is cool, fine by me.
I remember the community calls from Gene Key. I was in their first Deep Dive into Genius, 4 months virtual retreat. And I wish I had joined more of these calls, but I was too distracted. I was only in the last two… profoundly beautiful to just hear, to just be with other people, to just speak, to just have others be with me.
Was the teacher indirectly showing us that there is so much guidance, so much orientation in the silence of listening just?
I did this a few nights ago, without recalling these community calls.
My friend shared some of his life experiences and within me I decided I will not judge, interfere, analyse, project or get entangled.
After his sharing, he said that he is surprised that after so much talk he does not have a headache, as he normally would. I took it as a successful listening, in which I spoke energetically with acceptance and compassion.
Yes, indeed, freedom is such a deep ancient longing. But what is freedom actually? How do we awaken to this great changing frequency?
What are the patterns that we have to become aware of so to explore this new domain?
Because slavery still is on our beloved planet, just in slight different style. I invite you to imbibe yourself in the transmission of The 55th Gene Key to find your own sense of freedom. If you are ready and resonant.
We are in a majestic, divine game.
It is not enough to know the rules of this game to create a desired outcome. Maybe it is a good idea to even surrender the outcomes.
Still, it remains a good idea to be a human being with an awakened, original and upgraded DNA. And for this
miraculous occurrence, changing one’s Aura Attitude is key to this process of returning to our sacred tune.
With openness& friendliness,
Floriana
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love-rats · 3 years
Text
Arshilin the Fallen
A chopped tongue. Clipped wings. The boy’s father would never fly again.
This story is a simple one, a story of a boy whose life was spent behind a veil of lies, his eyes brutally covered, and his mind blinded to the reality of the world around him.
This is the story of Arshilin the Fallen.
 This story begins how most do, with a proud father, salty tears staining his face. A boy enters the world, a shock of platinum hair on his small head, and a happy gurgle coming from his mouth. The boy’s name is Arshilin, and he has entered this world laughing, and he will leave it the same.
From that day onwards, the father vows that he would do anything in this world to keep the boy’s smile on his face. He bars the gates of heaven, and commands with his mighty voice for the angels to bow at this bundle of smile’s feet. For Arshilin is not a human: he’s a demigod.
For years, the boy’s father catered to his needs, and as his fat little legs grew long and lean, and the silver shock of fluff on his head grew into a sun-bleached mane, the boy’s smile began to crack and splinter.
Years passed, but with age, his smile did not grow. Alas, as it was to the father’s despair, he vowed that he would put the smile back on his dear son’s face. In the end, it drew him to insanity. The obsession overtook his mind and clouded his thoughts. Day and night, he would pace the halls, wondering what to do that would not paint him a failure in his perfect son’s mind.
People on the outskirts of heaven despaired, for the gates had not been opened in years. Yet, the boy’s father could not bring himself to open them, as he knew that when he did, the nature of Earth would be exposed to his dear son, and the jig would be up.
With every trial the boy’s father threw at him, Arshilin refused to smile. Now, the candyfloss rains and the endless presents were not enough for him. For this boy had only one wish. He wanted to be normal.
Normality is a strange concept, no? Even when it was unattainable, this boy still lied awake at night, letting daydreams of schoolwork and first kisses consume him, and for a moment, a smile would flash across his face. But then he fell back to Earth and the tears once again overtook him.
And yet, the boy understood. He believed the tales his father told him, that the gates could not be opened lest the murderous outside world be let in. So, he bit his tongue, and kept his grief inside him.
Until one day, when he finally had had enough.
It was the day of his fifteenth birthday; his father had asked him what he had wanted. All requests the previous years for tricycles, movies and balloons had been joyfully met, but this year, he wanted something different.
“I want to see the outside world,” he had said.
His father’s expression had been one of shock, anguish and finally, hurt.
“But is this not enough for you? I have given you everything, here. You have the whole world at your fingertips. You are a demigod. You can have anything you want! Look, why don’t you pick another present, okay?” he stuttered.
“Father, I am now fifteen years old. I think I am old enough to decide for myself.” Deep in his eyes was a rooted anger, which threatened to spill. “Let me see the outside world.”
“I’m afraid I can not allow that. It is too dangerous!” His hands began to shake. His obsession was pushing him, telling him that he couldn’t let his only son leave. Arshilin! The boy who entered the world smiling! How could he want to leave?
“You have locked me in this cage for fifteen fucking years of my life. You have taken away my childhood and replaced it with this deluded fantasy of what I want. I am sick and tired of you dictating my choices and my life for me. If I want to leave, then I shall.” His knees buckled, and he fell to the ground, sobs wracking his body.
His father was standing there, shell-shocked. His brain filled with corrosive thoughts, he picked up his sons’ limp body, finally worn out. As he lifted this mess of a child, the tears fell onto his robes.
How had he let it get this far? How could his son, who had entered the world smiling, be sobbing onto his white robe right now?
His body was ever so light, like air.
Arshilin. Meaning smile.
His fists clenched. Enough was enough.
“Forgive me, my son.”
With that, he locked his son in the highest point of the tower.
 When Arshilin awoke, the first thing he felt was the deepest, bitterest sensation of calm.
He finally knew what he had to do! After all these years, it was oh so clear to him.
He simply had to do it for himself.
See, his father had dictated his whole life for him. Now was the time for him to make his own decisions. Ashilin. Ashilin the Fallen.
The Fallen Smile. He liked that.
The room he was in wasn’t too hard to break out of. The rickety wooden door wasn’t too hard to break through, in a world where he could do whatever he wanted. And as a demigod? He was in the right place.
A joyful laugh filled the air. His smiling cracking, the sound rang long and true, as a long sword appeared in his hands. He would break out tonight, and he would no longer be Arshilin, the boy who always smiled. He would be someone new. Someone normal.
Heads turned as the laughing boy walked through the perfect landscape of heaven. Everywhere he went, his laugh followed, the cacophony ringing long and loud.
Finally, Arshilin had smiled.
The gate was in sight. The boy concentrated and click! The lock popped open. Crowds and crowds of individuals waiting on the doorstep ran in, joy lighting up their ragged faces. Tears of relief ran down their faces. The gates were finally open. They finally had a home.
Disgust ran through the boy’s veined as he witnessed the selfishness of his father’s actions. This was the dangerous world he was to grow up in? This was what had cost him his awful childhood?
He continued on, his white fists clenching the sword that was strategically placed at his side. His white wings soon blackened as the anger at the reality of Earth was shown to him. Here was everything he had ever wanted. Here was normality, and yet his father had denied him this, for the sake of a smile?
Rage ran through Arshilin’s veins. His chocolate eyes turned red.
He turned around, the open gates of heaven taunting him, inviting him in. He hated to go back to that hellish place. But he realised he had no choice. Voices chanted in his head, and he ran, laughter bubbling up inside him. This time, it was the laughter of someone insane. Someone who had well and truly snapped.
The boy found his father where he knew he would be, angrily surveying the scene at the gates. Panic was lacing his every syllable as he tried to find the culprit who had opened the very gates that had held his very son.
“Hello, father.”
Turning to see his dear son, smiling, he breathed a sigh of relief.
“Oh, there you are, my dear. I was thinking, maybe you wanted…” He trailed off, the words running away from his open mouth. His son was still staring at him, a victorious smile adorning his features.
When he spoke, his voice was dripping with a deep, hateful kind of laughter. “You lied to me, father.”
“I-I’m sorry! I just wanted to keep you safe, and…”
Arshilin raised his sword, still smiling. “And what?”
“And… and I wanted to make you smile…”
“What? HAHAHAHAHA! Well, I’m fucking laughing now, father. What, are you happy? Doesn’t this just make joy drip through your veins?” He raised his sword. “Even my name means smile. Don’t tell me to smile, father! Give me a reason to!
“But did you? No. You locked me out of the only place I could ever call home, you took my entire childhood away from me, and you lied to me.” His sword was resting on his father’s throat, nibbling at his Adam’s Apple, teasing, almost.
“You lied to me.” He made a little cut, blood dripping slowly from the wound. “And you know what we do to liars?”
In one swift motion, Arshilin slit his father’s throat. “We cut their fucking tongues out.”
With two pale fingers, the boy opened his once sane father, and took his tongue in his grasp. His long sword leisurely cut it out, laughing the whole time.
“I think I’ll take your wings, too,” the boy murmured to himself.
A chopped tongue. Clipped wings. The boy’s father would never fly again.
Is this where the story ends?
In some senses, yes. The liar was served justice, the boy became a benevolent ruler of heaven. But if he ever catches a liar, well, you know what they do to liars…
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