#theres something off about her i cant 100% put my finger on

[beauceronn]

Beauce screenshots.

#crufts24 #theres something off about her i cant 100% put my finger on #it might be that she lacks substance #her neck/front look weird #topline in motion is not good #tail carriage is acceptable but not preferred #i think its the front/neck/substance trifecta that is what my reaction comes down to

[obsessive-ego]

Late night chats

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Beej chats with you when he knows you're not listening

Fluff, pining

It was a long rough week, you were absolutely exhausted, you could barely stand, your knees wobbled as you finally arrived home, everyday this week has been hell between work using you to cover everyone and do everything, and personal family drama you had to attend too, you were glad to finally be home, safe, quiet, where nothing was expected of you, you could finally recharge.

Kicking your shoes off and tossing your bag and jacket aside to deal with later.

As you shamble to your bedroom, eager to swap your work clothes to something less constricting, you tap away on your phone, ordering dinner, you were too tired to cook anyway.

In your bedroom, you were quick to ditch your uniform in replacement for an over sized shirt and a pair of pajama pants.

Removing your bra felt like a weight has been lifted, as you slip on your pajamas you felt 100 pounds lighter, you flop down on your bed, barely clinging to being awake, as you were about to doze off, your phone blares to life with its loud ringtone, you groan in frustration, you force your body to get up and dig for your phone in your pants pocket, you miss the call by a second, before you could check who it was it buzzes again, you nearly drop the phone, startled, you fumble with the gadget, quickly answering the call, assuming it was your incompetent coworkers needing a question asked.

"What are you wearing?~"

You frown, knowing that voice anywhere

"Beetlejuice-"

"Oh baby, you will be wearing me by the time I'm done with you~" he moans

You scowl at this joke, too tired to really deal with his sense of humor, yes the ghoul could easily make you laugh with their lewd jokes, but honestly you were so tired nothing else really mattered.

"What-"

"So we gonna hook up? Or are you standing me up?"

"What?"

"Y/n what day is it?"

You're silent for longer then youd like to admit, beetlejuice starts before you could respond

"Friday, movie night, so, let's hear that magic b word sweetheart~" he chimes in a sing song tone.

As tired as you were, I guess a chill movie night would be fine, if you doze off during you could survive the teasing, wouldnt be the first time.

"Hello? Sugar? I'm not hearing my name come from that pretty little mouth of yours~"

You snap back, guess you zoned out longer then you thought, you utter a quick sorry, and shuffle to the living room.

"Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice"

Your apartment goes dark, you sigh, the ghoul had a thing for making an entrance

"HONEY IM HOME" the ghoul shouts, within seconds you are hoisted up from behind in a tight bear hug, Beetlejuice's head resting on you shoulder "babes I missed ya, you're such a mean little thing forgetting about our movie night, or were you just playing hard to get~" he purrs that last part.

Clearly embarrassed you try your best to squirm out of your predicament, the demon only cackles at your actions

"Keep wiggling like that sugar and your gonna give me a-"

The ghoul was interrupted by a knocking at your door, his eyes light up, before you could get a word in, you are dragged along to the front door

"Its showtime"

...

It was amazing how you were still able to order take out with all the nonsense beetlejuice did to the delivery guys, but it just goes to show that it's all about money, and let's be honest, nobody is gonna believe them, yeah sure, a zombie looking guy took the pizza and then turned into a pile of snakes.

...

Movie night was the same as always, Beej successfully snuggling up close with an arm around your shoulder, ever since the change of seasons he found you no longer took the lead on getting up close and personal, meaning he had to take initiative, not that he minded, since regardless of the temperature, you didnt mind him cuddling up, which was nice, you were so warm to the touch, he adored it.

Movie night was always a blast with the demon, yes you've seen this horror films 100 times, but watching them with Beej always made them more lively, his enthusiasm was so contagious. But as much fun as the evening together was you were officially out of energy, you tired in vain to keep awake, last movie night you dozed off midway through you delt with merciless teasing for a week, but all your effort was for not as you felt yourself slip into dreamland.

"Alright Doll what's up next in our-" the demon finally noticed you were out, he frowns, yeah it was cute, and sexy when you fell asleep on him, but it was really becoming kind of a pain on how hard you worked and how much it drained you, breathers are delicate, and besides he wanted to spend some real legit alone time with you.

The demon snaps his fingers and the two of you reappear in your bedroom, you being tucked into your bed, beej floats up beside you in a lounging position.

The ghoul stares at you, watching you naturally settle into a deep sleep, once a few moments have past and beetlejuice was sure you were out cold, he leans back placing his hands behind his head and let's out a deep sigh.

"Ya know doll, the other week I was in the netherworld for business, bumped into an old pal, buddy was going on and on about this demon he was banging, and boy, the look on his face when I told him I was banging a hot little breather, man, fucker was jealous, I mean we arent technically banging, yet." He whispered

This was a habit of Bj's chatting to you when you were asleep, he didnt need to sleep, so this was a nice way to pass the time.

"I showed him that photo of us lyds took, ya know the one, you were sitting on the couch playing with you phone and I had my head on your lap? Yeah, I keep it in my wallet, hell, it's the only thing in there" he snickers

You mumble something unintelligible, Beej hums in response

"Of course not sugar, I dont keep condoms in there, i prefer to go raw, demons cant get breathers pregnant anyways, wink wink"

The ghoul sighs reclining back and putting his hands behind his head

"Ya know, while I was down there, I had to file some paperwork with my Mom, the bitch she is, was going on and on about how I need to stop screwing around with breathers, she just doesnt get me, you know how it is"

You grumble in response

"Oh, yeah I know I told ya a sandworm ate her, shes back, it's a long story" he huffs with a scowl.

"Yeah she was saying how theres no point of me tricking another breather for a green card to live again, and I should leave you alone, fuck her, ya know, I dont need to trick ya for a green card, i know you're head over heels for me babes, and once you finally admit you love me and we fuck around for a bit, then I'll pop the question." He trails off looking in your direction, your were laying on your side facing the demon, as if you were awake listening to his every word, the demon sighs, staring at you sleeping form, god slash satan  he had no idea what he did to deserve you, his sweet caring breather. He could always come back to you, you were all his, you just didnt know it yet, and that was fine, for now, soon he'll get you to confess your undying love.

"What would I do without our little chats" he sighs, his eyes fixated on you, a purple hue begins to creep into his hair, he sighs again

"The only time I can be honest with ya huh babes?"

You mumble in response

"Its not like I dont WANT to be honest with ya, its just, come on, you gonna believe me? A demon from hell falling head over heels for a sweet little breather? I can barely believe it" he stares at you, his hair now completely purple.

"You know I love ya right?" The confidence in his voice fading, the question sounding more desperate then anything, as if the ghoul needed you to know or hed die again.

"...beee" you sigh

Beetlejuice perks up at the sound of your voice "bee?" Were you dreaming of him? The ghoul could just melt at the thought

"...beetlejuice"

You were

The purple in the demon's hair began to mix with hints of pink, his little breather was dreaming of him, the ghoul leans into you, his face inches from yours, studying your face in hopes to crack the mystery of what kind of dream you were having

"...beetlejuice" Again you mumble his name in your sleep

"Do you dream about me often babes? Ya know I dream of you~" he chuckles

"Beetle-"

Before you could finish the b word the demon shakes you awake

"Fuck" you say with a start "beetlejuice what are you doing" you grumble less then thrilled to be woken like this

"You were about to say the b word 3 times babes, had to put a stop to it" he chuckles sheepishly "you were babbling my name away in your sleep, guess you missed me huh?" His nervousness turned into a more confident jab

"I was? I-" you babble

"If you REALLY miss me baby cakes I could slip into bed with ya? Keep ya company" he leans in inches from your face, a moment passes and beetlejuice can see the hesitation in your face, yes he's snuck into bed with you multiple times, but he always left before you noticed.

"I wont do anything creepy" he begs grasping your hand as if to reassure you

"....okay" you whisper

The ghoul's eyes light up at your response in a flash he sheds his suit, leaving only a pair of boxers and slides under the covers next to you, the ghoul is over come by the warmth beneath the covers, and quickly latches on to your even warmer body.

"Good night Bee" you sigh "I'll try not to say your name 3 times"

"Night sugar♡" he cuddles into your chest making you the bigger spoon, though you were the smaller out of the two of you.

As you drift back into a deep sleep beetlejuice begins talking to you again

"You really know how to spoil a guy huh sugar, I guess I can wait a little longer till you say the 3 little words, as long as ya keep treating me like this♡ good night y/n, I love you"

#musical beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice x reader #muscial beetlejuice x reader #rambling

[reidsnose]

completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly (spencer reid x reader)

overview: spencer helps his best friend talk through her emotions

genre: angst? and fluff

warnings: mentions of cheating, bad coping mechanisms, idrk what else reader being upset for a little bit

a/n: this has been sitting in my notes app FOREVER but idk how i feel ab this one im usually strictly fluff so yall lmk :)

masterlist

you hated talking about your feelings. you knew it was unhealthy to keep it bottled and and 'deal with it on your own' but that didn't stop you from doing exactly that.

the worst part about your feelings right now was that you isolate to cope with them. you didn't want to interact with anyone at all because more likely than not you would lash out at them on accident. it just slips out sometimes.

when you trudged into the bullpen with your head down and your hands fidgeting with your zipper, you didn't even notice all eyes on you. you werent your usual happy self. you weren't being loud, you weren't cracking jokes. you were just begrudgingly existing amongst your favorite people and they knew there was something wrong.

"good morning gorgeous, its a paperwork day! that means no traveling!" garcia informed you brightly, trying to lighten my mood.

"oh. cool. thanks." you answered back, flashing her as much of a smile as you could muster after realizing the harshness of your words.

she shot morgan a look, to which he raised an eyebrow.

"hey pretty lady," he began as he walked over to you, "whats going on? did you drink some grumpy juice for breakfast?"

"no. im fine." you replied flatly, making your way to your desk.

"what in the world.." he whispered to garcia, not knowing you could still hear.

or maybe he did know. maybe he was trying to get on your nerves. no. this is the irritability talking. morgan was just being a good friend.

you groaned at your computer, retyping the same password for the 4th time.

this time Prentiss shot you a look.

"is everything ok?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"yeah my computer is being stupid." you rolled your eyes as it finally let you in.

"oh i know the feeling. if you need any help-"

"I'm alright. thanks." you cut her off, eyes glued to the file you were working on.

JJ, who had witnessed the whole interaction unfold, stood with her mouth agape.

"spence, your bestie needs you!" JJ tapped his shoulder and motioned to you.

he watched your jaw rhythmically clench and unclench. your tell. thats what you always did when you were irritated or angry.

"hey y/n," he hummed, sitting lightly on the corner of your desk, crinkling some of your paper work.

"Reid! my files!" you cried, swatting his thigh. he got up and murmured an apology.

"are you ok?" he asked simply, crouching down to meet your height as you sat in your chair.

"why does everyone keep asking me that!"

you knew why. you were being a bitch.

"you just called me Reid." he stated.

"its your name." you replied, not meeting his gaze.

"yeah but you always-" he began.

"I'm not in the mood right now."

he sighed, "if you need someone to talk to-"

"i don't need anyone to talk to because theres nothing to talk about!" you interrupted, causing him to furrow his eyebrows at the tone of my voice.

'i shouldn't be mean to him. why am i acting like this?' you thought to yourself

"ok, ill be over there if you need me," he threw his hands up in surrender.

you mumbled an ok and went back to distracting yourself with work. you were so invested in filing these cases you completely lost track of time and before you knew it, it was just you, Hotch, and Spencer left in the office. you vaguely remembered waving goodbye to your other coworkers but you didn't remember it being nearly 6pm.

"guys go home, you've done a lot today," Hotch said as he crossed the bullpen, making his way towards the glass doors.

"yeah i will i'm almost done," you answered, not looking up from my screen.

"good night, Hotch," Spencer called from the break room.

you stared at your screen, eyes burning. you did enough. you cant escape confronting your feelings much longer. you sighed as you began packing up.

as if on cue, Spencer walked out of the break room with two cups in his hands, steam rising from the both of them. your mood softened just a bit.

"here," he handed you your drink which he had filled with your favorite tea and sweetened just the way you like it.

"you didnt have to." you replied, setting down the warm cup as you finished packing up. he mirrored your movements, resting his satchel across his torso before picking his drink back up.

"i know." he answered simply, a gentle smiling resting on his lips before he took a sip of his own tea.

"im sorry for snapping at you earlier." you apologized, finally meeting his gaze. his eyes were soft and sweet and you felt a pang of guilt in your heart as they looked into your own.

"its ok. do you want to tell me why?" he asked, walking to the elevator with you.

"no. yes? i dont know. its stupid." you replied, looking down at the floor as you recounted your reason for my anger today.

"its not stupid." he spoke softly.

you scoffed lightly, "you dont even know what it is."

"so tell me."

"but its dumb!"

"y/n." he warned.

"my ex boyfriend, Ashton, is getting married to the girl he cheated on me with." you sighed, walking through the parking lot with Spencer.

"ah so Trashton put my favorite ray of sunshine in a bad mood." he joked, breath swirling around the cool air as he spoke

you let out a weary chuckle, "its not like i miss him or anything, i just wish i had someone! not him- i just- i want- ugh i don't know how to word this!" you grew frustrated, furrowing your eyebrows and balling your hands into fists.

you knew exactly how to word it.

you wanted Spencer.

"its ok, take all the time you need." he whispered, leaning on the hood of your car. you joined him, resting as you took a sip of your tea.

"why am i not good enough to be loved." you stated the question rather than asking it, eyes filling with tears.

"you are good enough and i promise you that you are loved more than you know." he affirmed gently, turning to face you.

"do you know why we broke up?" you asked, knowing if you acknowledged his previous comment you wouldn't be able to continue without sobbing.

"because he cheated on you." he answered confidently.

"no." you shook your head, fighting back tears.

"what? he didn't cheat on you?"

"he did. and i was going to forgive him for that."

Spencer started getting riled up, "what! why? you're worth more than that scumbag! you shouldn't ha-"

"Spencer just let me finish!" you cut him off. he went silent, chest rising and falling more rhythmically than it had seconds earlier. "he wanted me to chose. him or you."

"him or me?" he furrowed his eyebrows, voice much quieter now.

"mhm." you hummed not meeting his gaze, your cheeks redder than you'd like to admit.

"i don't understand." he breathed.

"he thought i was cheating on him with you. he had no proof and it w-"

"oh this is all my fault. y/n i'm so sorry!"

"no! spence its not your fault!" you grabbed his arm to reassure him.

"it is! your boyfriend broke up with you because of me! and now you're sad and lonely and its all my fault!" he cried, looking worriedly into your eyes.

"first of all, i broke it off with him, he just gave the ultimatum. secondly, you did me a favor."

"how?"

"by showing me who i was really dating. a cheating, insecure scumbag who was quick to replace me when i left."

"i guess thats true."

"and id pick you over him any day." you admitted, looking back down at the ground. he nudged your shoulder playfully and you cracked a sad smile

"im sorry i made you sad and lonely."

"you didnt. id be sad and lonely anyway."

"why? you would still have a boyfriend if it wasn't for me."

"i don't want a boyfriend if it isn't you."

shit. shit.

the words toppled out of your mouth before you could stop them.

"what?" he asked, wide eyes and looking a little shocked. spencer was sure in that very moment that if he heard you correctly hed simply explode.

"i- no this was a bad idea. i just ruined everything didnt i!" you were speaking more to yourself, exasperated at your own stupidity.

"no," you felt him place a finger to your chin and lift your gaze to meet his, "im glad you said it because now i can admit it."

"admit what?"

"that im completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you."

"spencer dont play with my heart like this. are you being serious?"

"yes. i am." he said with a strange confidence than you had never heard before. hesitant but sure.

"oh thats so lucky because i am completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you too." you admitted, feeling about 100 pounds lighter, like you could fly. he pulled you into a bone crushing hug which you eagerly accepted. "i should talk about my feelings more often."

he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head, "yes you should."

world littlest taglist:

@mac99martin

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #penelope garcia #derek morgan #garcia #morgan #reid #spencer reid fanfic #prentiss #emily prentiss #jj #jennifer jereau #agent jareau #fluff #dr spencer reid #dr reid #spencer reid fluff #aaron hotchner #agent aaron hotchner #agent hotchner #hotch

[julesclues]

fake dating

“hallelujah, my ass” // chapter 2

warnings: mentions of sex

pairings: jj maybank x reader

word count: 2.16k

you had always loved eating dinner with your family. the talks, the laughter, and lets not forget the food. but today? today, you hated it. today, skipping dinner didn’t seem so bad. why?

because jj maybank was here too.

“so jj,” your dad starts, making your palms sweaty. you and your father were never close. he was really mean to you, and only you. to others, he would pretend like he was the greatest father in the world. but alone, he was the complete opposite. “i heard you’re dating my daughter. what are your intentions? are you just trying to get into her pants?” choking on your food, you look at jj to see his face a little red. “dad! what’s wrong with you?” you speak up, causing your dad to fling his hands in the air. “i’m just asking! he was always so mean to you, y/n. you would come home crying an–“

“i love your daughter sir.” your head snaps in jj’s direction after hearing him cut your father off. “i know i was mean to her in the past, and i will never forgive myself for that. honestly, i’m surprised she even gave me a chance. i can’t change the past, but i know i can change the future. and i know i want y/n in my future. i want her there. it would mean everything to me if you approved of us. but with all due respect sir, even if you didn’t, that wouldn’t keep me away from y/n.” jj looks at you and smiles softly, but you look down at your food, playing with it using your fork.

you couldn’t believe what jj just said. sure, all of it was fake but you couldn’t help but feel butterflies. you felt your heart skip a beat as your dad stayed quiet. he was never quiet.

“if you’d like me to go i can ju–“ you cut jj off as he tries to get up. “you’re staying,” you whisper to him, grabbing his wrist. “no jj, stay please!” your mom exclaims, taking a sip of her drink. “i can tell you love my daughter, so i am definitely in favor of this relationship!” she squeals, hitting your father in his arm. “and i need to have a talk with you.” your little sister laughs and taps your arm, causing both you and jj to look at her. “go upstairs, they won’t notice. i’ll just say you got sick or something.” you move your hand to the top of her head and kiss her. “thanks sis.” you grab jj’s hand in anger and run upstairs with him. closing the door, you turn to him.

“hallelujah,” he sighs. “i really saved our asses back there, huh?” you punch him in the chest but considering he was much stronger than you, he only grunted quietly. “hallelujah, my ass!” you yell. “what was that? this is supposed to be fake! there’s no way you’re that good at improvising!” jj scoffs, sitting on your bed and running his hands through his blonde locks. “don’t be so self centered y/n! of course it was fake. i was just sucking up to your parents to make them think i was in love with you!” you sigh with frustration and look away. for some strange reason, you felt a little hurt. sure, you hated the maybank boy with a passion, but hearing him say all of that was fake.. hurt.

“whatever,” you mumble, pacing back and forth. “you need to sleep over,” you say, making him smirk. “shut up!” you say, throwing a pillow at him. he catches it, and throws it back at you, hitting you in the stomach. “i didn’t say anything!” he protests. “you were about to!” you yell back. “would you shut up?” he stands up, walking closer to you. “make me maybank!”

with the arguing and heavy breathing, you didn’t realize how close jj actually was. you take a step back, recollecting yourself. “can you just sleepover please?” you mumble, not wanting to fight with him right now. “fine,” he huffs. “but i get the bed.” you turn your head towards him and run your tongue along your upper teeth. “no fucking way.” you clench your jaw as he starts to prepare the bed for himself. “i said no jj!” he stops what he’s doing and turns towards you. “you always have to be difficult, don’t you?”

“listen to me you little shit,” you start, putting your pointer finger on his chest. “i know you’re helping me, and i thank you for that, but i am paying you $100 maybank. so just shut up, listen to me, and make your bed on the floor because there is no way we are sleeping together, and i am not about to sleep on my bedroom floor.”

jj looks at you intensely before grabbing pillows again and propping them on the floor. “i’m only letting you talk to me like that because it was hot,” he says nonchalantly. “shut your mouth,” you reply, walking over to your drawer to get pjs. “here,” you say, throwing sweatpants at him. “why do you have men’s sweatpants?” he questions, but you walk into the bathroom. before closing the door, you reply with, “it’s none of your business, asshole.”

fifteen minutes later, both you and jj were laying down in your assigned spots. you on the bed, him on the floor. scrolling through your phone, you cant help but keep thinking about what jj said during dinner. you had no feelings towards the maybank boy, but for some reason, your mind kept drifting to his sweet words. for you, this is going to be harder than you thought.

jj speaks up, bringing you back to reality. “aren’t we supposed to know everything about each other?” you put down your phone, now the only light in your room being the moon shining through the window. “what are you talking about?” you say, but it comes out in a whisper. “you know, like how boyfriend and girlfriends know each other’s favorite color, or food. that stuff.” you chuckle slightly, and so does jj. “oh and what’s the deal with you and your dad?” jj asks, and your smile drops.

“oh i’m not– i’m not going to get into that with you jj,” you say softly, and he sighs. “but i–“

“i said no jj. goodnight.” mad, you roll on your side, your back facing where jj is laying. you didn’t like talking to anyone about you and your dad’s relationship. your dad was a mean guy to you, but no one knew it. he put on this facade in front of others, so when you used to try to tell people the truth, they would call you a liar or an attention seeker. so now, you refrain from ever talking about it.

it was quiet for a couple minutes. hearing jj shuffle and move, you roll back on your back. “green.” he says out of nowhere. “what?” you ask after a couple seconds. “my favorite color is green because it reminds me of frogs, which are my favorite animal.” you smile to yourself as he continues. “i love the clouds.. um..” he pauses, thinking of more to say. “as much as i drink beer, my favorite drink is actually hot chocolate. um.. i– uh..” he stutters, not knowing what else to say. “oh, i have a birth mark on my butt.” you laugh loudly, making him chuckle. “nice to see you’re still with me princess.” you exhale and reply with a soft “yeah.” silence falls through the air once more before you speak up this time.

“i love the rain but hate thunder.” jj smiles and closes his eyes. “how could you not like thunder?” he asks, playing with his rings. “i don’t know,” you chuckle. “just the loud noises make me nervous i guess. i know it can’t do anything to me, but i’ve had rough experiences with loud noises. you know, like yelling and stuff. nothing ever comes good after a loud noise.” jj noticed how you started to open up to him, but decided to not mention it. if he did, you probably would have gotten embarrassed and you guys would’ve been back at square one. he didn’t want to admit it, but hearing you open up to him about stuff you haven’t even done with the pouges, made him feel important. like someone finally trusted him.

“you still there?” you ask, grabbing jj’s attention. “yeah,” he says softly. “i’m here.” you think some more, and continue to tell him little things about you. “i like the slower version of songs better, i play with my fingers and hair when i’m upset in public because i don’t want to act on my emotions, and i’ve always wanted to go to paris. there’s a lot more, but that’s all i can come up with right now.” both you and jj find yourselves smiling widely. “i can’t wait to learn a lot more about you then, babygirl.” you chuckle. “babygirl?” you question the nickname. “was that not one of the nicknames i could call you?” jj asks sincerely. “no,” you say, but quickly add on, “but i liked it.”

“goodnight jj,” you say with a wide smile. “goodnight babygirl.”

the next morning was a rough one. you woke up with both the sun and your hair in your face. you look at the time and see how it’s 10:28am. you slept in. you roll over to look at jj and notice how he’s still sleeping. you giggle to yourself when you see how his mouth hung open, and his hand was entangled with his hair. you grab your phone, going to take a picture, but before you could, theres a knock at the door. “guys? it’s me, i have breakfast!” you hear your mom’s voice from the other side of the door and panic. if you and jj were supposed to be together, why was he sleeping on the floor?

“uh, one minute!” you scream, throwing a pillow at jj. “jj!” you whisper, as he opens his eyes widely. “my mother’s at the door!” groaning, he rushes to get up on the bed. he grabs the blankets and pillows that were on the floor and throws a pillow at you, hitting you directly in the face. “can i come in?” your mom asks, growing impatient. “n-no!” you stutter, as jj tries to fix his side of the bed. “why?” you mom asks. “i– uh,” you look at jj, and he shrugs, picking up the pace to put the stuff on the bed. “we’re having sex!” you yell, causing jj to try to hold in a laugh. “y/n,” he says with a small laugh. “what the he-“

“shut up just get in bed!” you whisper yell, your face red like a tomato after hearing your mom gasp. “you can co-come in now,” you stutter, as you rest your head on jj’s chest, hearing his heart beat kind of fast. she comes in and sets the food down on nightstand next to you, and walks to the foot of the bed. she eyes you two, putting her hands on her hips. “i hope you two used protection?” she asks, as you groan and hid your face further into jj’s chest. “mom, please,” your raspy voice mumbles. jj laughs awkwardly and looks at the food, hoping to change the subject. “what’s that?” he asks, eyeing the food. “i made you two cinnamon rolls! sure you’ll need some food after working up an appetite, huh?” she says innocently, but that only makes you blush more. “oh my god mom! please leave!” she chuckles, and heads to the door. “thank you ma’am,” jj says politely. she puts her hand on the door knob but before leaving, she turns around. “i don’t want any grandchildren just yet!” she says, and shuts the door.

jj looks down at you and smirks. “we’re having sex, huh!” you push off him and groan in disgust. “i panicked, okay?” you grab your phone as jj continues to lay down, taking in the comfort of the bed he was denied the night before. “i got a text from kie,” you say aloud. “she wants us all to meet at the wreck in an hour.” you look up at jj to see him already staring at you. “what?” you ask and he shrugs. “what do you mean what?” he asks. this is how much of your arguments always start. “i’m not in the mood to fight with you,” you say, looking back down at your phone. that’s when you get an idea.

“let’s tell the pouges that we’re dating.” jj gets up and walks over to the cinnamon rolls your mom made, taking a big bite out of one of them. he looks at you, thinking, and that’s when a big smile appears on his face. “i like that idea.” you smile back at him, feeling those butterflies appear back in your stomach.

oh no, you think to yourself.

whatever you do, do NOT fall in love.

🏷 tag list: @spencereidbasis @lonely-kermit @pankow1218 @octopus1284 @downbytheouterbanks @softtfordrew @maybanksbaby @teamnick @diverrdown

#jj maybank #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #outerbanks #jj maybank smut #jj smut #jj maybank x reader #outer banks imagine #obx fic #jj maybank obx #obx jj #jj outer banks #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine

[oftheredmoon]

my abuser abused me. after 10 years i broke my silence and told my childhood friend. i didnt want justice or anything bc i didnt want to destroy my family, i just wanted to confide in my closest friend. she immediately ran around town and told everyone. 2 years later, i found out random people knew about my trauma and were threatening my abuser as well as on the verge of involving my family. so i lied. and said i lied about the abuse. a lot of people in town hate me. ex-childhood friend hates me and victimizes herself; everyone takes her side. my abuser hates me and rather than be grateful that i took one for the team (since we both know what he did) he uses it against me. tells me he hates me because “you know what you did” on party chat in front of the handful of people who still speak to me.

i can never confide in anyone about this due to cultural reasons. i’m stuck living in a looped hell. people think im some mentally ill wacko who went off the deep end and tried to drag innocent people down with me. i dont do drugs. i dont drink. i dont have an escape. i dont have friends anymore. suicide is not an option. confiding in people is no longer an option. coping mechanisms dont work anymore. self-harm never worked and just made me feel stupid. moving out/running away is not an option. therapy didnt help, neither did meds.

i think the most painful thing is the blatant fact that i will never truly be happy.

i’m expected to get married and have children. i want to get married and have children. but how am i supposed to let my husband lay a finger on me without screaming and crying? how am i supposed to explain that the reason i breakdown everytime he compliments me is because nobody has ever paid attention to me before? how am i supposed to be a good wife and have a good job when im completely talentless and stupid because i spent my whole childhood in a locked room neglected? how am i supposed to a healthy partner when the very thought of him becoming slightly annoyed with me or ignoring me is enough to send me into a psychotic breakdown? how am i supposed to explain why im so mentally ill? why i have psychosis, ptsd, depression, anxiety, adhd, and borderline personality disorder. why im constantly dissociating. how am i supposed to explain why im so physically ill? my heart, my blood sugar, my ulcers, the migraines, the potential cysts, crohns disease, the fact that i can hardly eat without throwing up, the fact that my body has dealt with so much stress that its already giving up at 20 years old. i could keep going, but i wont.

its getting hard to feel anything anymore. i’m no longer in touch with reality. when i try to think about myself my appearance, my name and all the things that once defined me do not come up. im hardly human at this point. i wake up, eat, stare at the wall for 8 hours, eat again, maybe do some homework, and play xbox for a few hours before my abuser inevitably makes a comment and i get triggered and leave before i breakdown in front of everyone.

“just tell ur future husband!!” cant, its not that simple, im not from the west.

“find a supportive/understanding man!!” see above plus: no man is going to put up with a complete emotional trainwreck who can hardly function: thats a receipe for creating a cheater.

“find a friend group that your abuser doesnt hang out with!!” cant, everyone hates me, this friend group is the most successful one ive ever had, im scared of making new bonds, theyll all leave eventually.

“make online friends!!” i have very negative experiences with online friends, id rather not.

“seek professional help!!” already tried, didnt work, they would call the cops if they knew half the shit that happened to me, therapy is not the solution to everything.

“why did u say u lied in the first place...?” bc my abuser going to jail/being confronted by all of this wouldve destroyed my family. i couldnt let that happen.

“why did u expect ur abuser to be understanding and grateful..? they’re an abuser lol...” bc after the whole thing blew up and everyone hated me, we had a mutual agreement and understanding to make it water under the bridge in order to protect our family. guess i was wrong to think he cared about them.

“what do u want me to say then lol... ur not willing to help urself” i cant help myself. “my hands are tied” is the biggest understatement of the century.

this post is not to find my cure. i didnt make this post because i want people in my dms showing me that they’re concerned.

if ur concerned about me harming myself, dont be. you have my 100% guarantee that i will not self-harm or attempt suicide. i gave up on that years ago.

this post is to vent.

this post is for people who are in similar situations as me. people who cant find a way out. people who cant turn to escapes such as drugs. people who protect their abuser whether out of love or for the sake of others.

you’re not the only one. i understand. i know. its hard. you’re drowning. no one will grab your hand no matter how much you reach out. in the rare cases that someone does come you pull away. you’ve lost the best years of your life to trauma and mental illness. it feels like theres no point. nothing helps. nothing works. you’re practically a zombie. you often trigger yourself to cope. you just want the pain to end. you dont want to feel anymore. you want to feel something. you dont want to remember. you want to be loved. you want a sign that you belong here. you want to enjoy life. you want to die. you’re afraid of living but you’re afraid of death.

i’m so sorry you’re hurt. i hope you find peace and salvation in a safe manner. i hope you heal and enjoy life to the fullest.

dont really know how to end this. i hope we’ll all be okay. i hope everyone whos been traumatized can find peace on earth. i hope breathing can start to feel a little easier. sorry this is so long. take care of yourselves.

#depression #traumacore #ventcore #Ptsd #Suicidal thoughts #depressing thoughts #venting #abuse #child abuse #anxiety #bpd #adhd #Suicide #borderline personality disorder #post traumatic stress disorder #Self harm #personal

[randomsevans]

The truth was hidden there all along.

"IZZY , JAMES GET UP NOW !" You shouted from the bottom of the stairs . This is the third time you have called for them your patience is wearing thin

"YOUR GOING TO BE LATE FOR DAY CARE !"

You took a deep breath and hung your head low as you rested against the handles of the stairs

"CHRIS IS GOING TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE AND HE WONT TAKE YOU IF YOUR NOT DOWN HERE BY THE TIME HE WALKS THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR "

That line works most times , considering your children love your partner more then there love you . Funny how the fun one gets more love then the person who brought them into the world .

"YOUR MOMS RIGHT JELLY BEAN IM WAITING " a deep voice boomed from behind you making you jump

"Oh shit !"you placed your hand over your heart

"Watch your languages darling " chris smirked

"Dont scare me then " you turned to him slapping his chest .he caught it and pulled you into his chest and slammed his lips fo yours .

"Ewwwee " followed by tiny stomps down the stairs

"Chris !" A high pitched squeal from your three year old daughter Izzy as she run down the stairs

"Izzy dont ... "chris panic voice came through allows for the air in his chest it he punched out and izzy jumped into his arms squealing

"Chris ! Chris ! Chris !" She did a little wiggle in his arms

"Oh I see some one is now awake "you shook your head

You turned your head and looked up at the top of the stairs to see your 7 year old son james standing there with his arms across .

"Come on james . I need to take you to school while chris takes izzy "

"You too finished " he snarled stomping his way down the stairs

"Finished what?" You scrunched up your face turning to chris , who just shrugged, dragging izzy upside down as if it was nothing.

James was the final steps and narrowed his eyed at chris and pointed his finger at him. Making chris instantly stop what he was doing and paying full attention to the little boy

"You mister .... I never want to see that again " his voice was stern but still high pitched

Chris looked at you with scared eyes "do what son ?" He asked

You just looked at the two of them ,as james browns hair was sticking all over over the place . Your heart fluttered when chris "son " but was replaced by guilt quickly

"Kissing my mamma with out asking " his voice was stern and very serious

Chris looked shocked upon the young boy and turned to you .

"Yeah chris you should of asked first " you teased

"But ... baby .." Chris looked like a kicked puppy as James made his way down the final steps and stood in front of Chris who was still holding his sister as she played with hair in her small hands

"You need to ask next time . You got that mister "

Chris nodded still shocked with his mouth open

"Good !" And with that he made his way into the kitchen , as Chris put Izzy down to follower her brother .

"Wh..what just happend?" Chris shook his head making his way to you ,placing a hand on the small of your back .

"You just got a scolding form my son" you grinned up at him

"Yep that boy is 100% your son " chris chuckled placing a kiss on your cheek . And there was the guilt eating up at you again . Always parizling you from the truth . And it hurts, it eating at you but you dont know what the outcome would be if you told the truth

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY! "

Chris put his hands up in her air and started walk over to the kitchen

"Now who wants porridge " he clasped his hands together

"Ewwwwe no PANCAKES " Izzy screamed the last part at the top of her lungs. You simple stood there at the side lines and watched

You were so thankful to have chris in your life . You and him have been friends for years at least a decade, you've had your ups and downs, your fazes through out your friendship . In the time you had James he was not around busy with life as yours being to change . But when Izzy came around and you were all on your own he came back in and become a permanent part in your life .

You remind sticky friends during your pregnancy and first few months of Izzy being born .

But as you spent more time with him, the feeling you always had for him were become stronger and in no time you and him were together. Officially. Not like it used to be in the past . When you were just friends with extra when it suited him .

And Chris was fine with you being a single mom . After Izzy "and " James father left you for someone else after months of cheating .

Chris adored your children . Chris is the only father figure Izzy know . Hell he even named her Isabella he wanted to use the nickname Bell but Izzy just stuck more .

And that what made the guilt even stronger as your past is strong and complicated your so scared it will effect your future you would not dare tell a soul. It could either make your family or tear it apart. 

“baby you coming ?” chris snapped you out of your thoughts

“oh yeah “

**************************************************************************************

chris pov 

i was driving , taking Izzy to her pre-school , who was currently in the back seat , quiet , unusal quite . if theres one thing ive learned over watching that little blonde princess grow up ,is that the moment she learnt how to speak she never shut up , oh I wonders where she got that from ? i chuckled little at the memory of you yesterday over the phone , not shutting up complaing about one of James teachers .i looked up in the mirror to get a glimps of the little girl , 

she was seat there in her car seat stairing out at the window with a little pout .

“whats the mattter Jelly Bean ?”

she let out a dramactic sigh , always dramctic that one ,wounder who else is like that ?

“chris ?” she softly whispered still looking at the moving trees 

“yes Izzy ?” i asked trying to look at her while also looking at the road ahead 

“why dont we call you daddy ?” 

the questsion caught me off graud , 

“umm i ..” i didnt know what to say , this is the first she has ever asked anything like this and your not here to have an answer. I dont want to say something that will upset you .

“ what makes you ask that ?"i  questioned 

she final looked up “its just i heard emily yeasterday getting picked u , by this man and she called him daddy , and i asked Ms Smiwth and she saiw that every littlw gurl and boi has a mamma awd a daddy “ 

my heart pumped first at her confession as her little doll eyes glassed over , along with her being adorable not being able to speak quite right yet 

“awd i aswed her what a daddy does , awd she saiw that a daddy looks after you and does everthing a momma does . And you do that , so why do we callw you Chris awd not daddy ?”

now my eyes were glossing over , i looked over at the clock on the dash bord and saw we had a bit of extra time before she needs to be at school , so i pulled over and switched the engine off . i undone my belt and turned to face the little one . 

“jelly bean .. i “ i began to chock on my words 

“its just that i may be here but im not you daddy , not properly  “

her lip began to trembel as a small tear escaped her little blue eyes 

“soo your ... your pretenting !”she whispered , my heart stopped 

“what no ... no bean not at all . i Love you and James as if i was your daddy “

“but your not ?“she titled her head 

“yes .. you see there some one else out there , who is  but ...” god this was so diffuclt with out you “but you have me and mommy and thats all you will ever need , i will always be here for you and for James “ i said slowly hoping to avoid a moring melt down , but if it was from her or me was unknown at this point . I love those kids like there are my own , there came from you how can i not . ive been around Izzy since she was born i was with you through out most of your pregnancy , since that dick head who is meant to be her father pissed off , i will never understand why that waste of space never saw you as enough . You are more then enough for me , your too good for me , i dont desve you speical the shit i put you through our younger years , it took me so long to open  my eyes to see you were all i ever wanted and in that time you had already had two children with some twat . But im thank full of what i have and i love those kids and you more then anthing , 

“so if you .. dow if you look afwter us why dont we callw you daddy ?

“ do you want to call me that ?” i asked 

i was offical dead when she nodded her head with the widest smile , making me tear up 

i took a deep breath , turing to contol my emotion , i cant explain it , its all ive ever wanted . 

“okay missy lets get you to school "

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #captain america #fanfic #chris #chris evans au #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans x female reader #chris x single mom #chris x you #chris x reader #chris evans x mom!reader #step dad chris evans #step dad ! chris x mom reader

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #hs65 #hs65 end #act4 #pg1674 #THANK FUCK FUCKING CHRIST #THIS TOOK ME A SOLID 4 HOURS IN TOTAL TO DO #INCLUDING PROCRASTINATION THO #LIKE I DID SNIPPETS WHILE I WAS AT WORK #AND THE MAJORITY LAST NIGHT #GOD #NEVER AGAIN #anyways #i learned some new stuff but then again this isnt even worth it for you all #like i didnt even say anything witty enough for it to be at least entertaining #just 'man that was cool' #and other synonyms of that sentence #im so sorry this took so long #and was tedious to read

[avengerscompound]

The Unicorn - Chapter 14

The Unicorn:  A Pepperony Fanfic PREVIOUS

Series Masterlist

Buy me a coffee with Ko-fi Word Count:    2075

Pairing:  Tony Stark x F!Reader x Pepper Potts

Warnings:  Sex talk.  Pregnancy

Synopsis:  The three of you go house shopping in New York to see if you can find something you’re all happy with.

Chapter 14

Over the next few weeks, things ramped up a lot.  There was another ultrasound to be had at 8 weeks and Tony and Pepper were determined to figure out where you should all live that gave the best options for school and work.

You seemed completely nonplussed on the issue.  You still went to Avengers training in the early morning and you continued going to your lab in the afternoon.  Just now before you left you seemed to struggle with the thought that you might throw up first.

By the time of the eight-week ultrasound, you weren't just thinking about it.  You had to factor in an extra ten minutes for throwing up before you made your way down for the dawn run.  It never stopped you though.  If you could go to training hungover a little bit of morning sickness wasn't going to stop you.

The strange thing was that Pepper seemed to be suffering with it too.  Initially, the three of you had put it on her just not handling vomit very well.  It wasn’t a totally uncommon thing that when someone threw up it might set someone else off.  Pepper had never been the weak stomached type but it was possible worries about the pregnancy was already making her slightly nauseated.

By the time of the ultrasound both Tony and you were teasing her about it being sympathy vomit.

The ultrasound went fine everyone was excited to see the twins again.  They still kind of just looked like a weird blurry picture of packaging peanuts.   Tony did still feel both relieved and excited when he heard the fast squish-squish sound of their heartbeats.

After the ultrasound, the three of you went to the first of the choices for the new home.  New York City.

When Tony had made the move to the compound he’d dissolved all his property.  Avengers Tower had become the Baxter Building.  It was probably the least practical course for them because it would mean reopening a branch of Stark Industry so that Pepper had an office and you had a lab, buying a home, and possibly opening a branch of the Avengers if you were set on remaining on the team after your maternity leave was up.

Tony had booked them the penthouse suite at the Gramercy Park while they looked at options.

“Dalton.  That’s the reason.”  Pepper said.  Her heels clicked loudly on the garish marble floors of the Upper East Side mansion they were inspecting.

The house was hideous.  The ‘American Renaissance’ period of architecture was a travesty.  The whole place, with its marble floors, chandeliers, ceiling murals featuring cherubs and gold scrollwork, looked more like a museum than a home.  It was dated, to say the least.  And dated to a period of opulence with no taste or subtlety.  All Tony could think was apart from the library which he’d keep for Pepper (the murals would have to go), the pool and the cinema, he’d gut the whole thing and start over.

“I don’t know, Pep.  It could have 100 Dalton’s but there’s no yard…”

“There’s a roof garden.”

“You want the twins playing on the roof?”  He said raising an eyebrow.

“Right, of course.”  She said heading into the kitchen.  “This is nice.”

“Yeah.  Very light and spacious.  I still think… I’d have to invest at least a cool billion to have us set up and even then it wouldn’t be right and it doesn’t feel like a home.”  He said running his hand over the floating kitchen island.

“What do you think?”  Pepper asked turning to you.

“I don’t love it.”  You said.  “I mean, doesn’t it scream masked orgy to you?  I bet naked asses have been all over everything.”

“Oh yeah.  I thought it looked familiar.”  Tony teased.

“God, you’re disgusting,”  Pepper said, whacking him.  Tony laughed and rubbed his arm.  “Well, we don’t have to get this one.  There were more options.”

“Yeah, but they’ll all be either Townhouses or Penthouses.  They won’t be where we can teach them to ride their bikes or run around with their dog.  We’ll have to take them to the park every time we want to do something like that.”  Tony said.  “Plus there’s the other investments involved.  S.I. is upstate now.  I’d have to reopen here.”

“The Avengers.”  You added.

“Yeah, I moved that because it was unsafe to have it just - in the middle of the city.”  Tony agreed.

Pepper pursed her lips.  She didn’t like that you wanted to stay with the Avengers the same way she didn’t like that Tony wouldn’t give up being Iron Man back in the day.  “We can consider it though right?  That’s what we’re doing here?  Looking at each option and picking the best?”

“Yeah, you're right.  Being here is better than in the compound.”  Tony conceded.  “I don't know how big the pull to Dalton is compared to just buying land near the compound and building exactly what we want though.”

“There aren't any schools around the compound though.”  Pepper complained.

“Start your own one, Elon Musk style.”  You said.

“We are not starting our own one like Elon.”  Pepper said sternly.

“I don't know… Maybe we should.  Give another incentive for people to stay on if it was more family friendly.”  Tony said with a shrug.

“Tony…”  Pepper sighed.  He knew that tone so he dropped it.

You went out to the balcony and looked out over the park.  Tony came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.  “It is a cool city though.”  You said.

“I won't argue that.”  He agreed, kissing your neck.

“Can we get out of this house?  I feel like I'm in a museum and the temptation to just touch everything for no good reason is making my fingers itchy.”  You said.

Tony chuckled and his hands ran over your stomach.  It was still far too early to show.  Even so, he loved that he could touch you and know that his children were in there and it wouldn’t be too long until he got to hold them.  It helped put that nervous impatience he felt in check.  “I’d gut it if we bought it.”

“Oh, yeah?”  You said turning in his arms.  “Not the library.”

“No, but that mural for sure.  I’d make it more shelves.”

“Oh, tell me more.”

“All the ugly ass marble and gold would go.  I’d change the light fittings to something sleeker but still a feature.  I’d keep timber as a feature, but make it less ornate.  Sleek lines but the timber would make it feel more home than office like.  The art would be modern but not surreal.  Maybe some Warhol and Pollack.  Maybe include some impressionists to break it up.  I’d install FRIDAY obviously.  The kitchen would be a similar layout but modern.  White and black.  Granite tops not marble.  I'd make the first floor about entertaining and the top two for us.  Bedrooms.  Living room.  That would be our family space.  It would be warmer colors.  Colors that take mess more.  I'd put a lab for us in the basement.  Probably a garage too but I might keep my of my collection out here.  There would be an office for Pep.  A gym.  I'd keep the cinema and the pool.”

You grinned and pecked his lips.  “Your mind has been racing even though you don't want this place.”

“Well, I mostly just want my girls to be happy.  If buying this eyesore makes you happy, then I’m happy.”  He said.

“That’s sweet.  But it won’t.  I don’t even think Pepper is sold on it.”  You said pulling him back inside.  “God, that bathroom is going to be in my nightmares.  The green marble toilet.”

Tony laughed.  “Yeah, that would be first to go.”

They made their back inside and found Pepper coming down the stairs followed by the real estate agent.  “Okay.  Let's go.  I think I’ve seen enough.”

“Good.  Let’s get something to eat.”  Tony said.  “I’m feeling Gray’s Papaya.”

Pepper scrunched her nose.  “I think the smell would make me throw up.”   She said.  “If you want local let’s go to Katz’s.”

You looked her up and down.  “You’re gonna need to dial in this sympathy sickness thing or see a doctor because I feel like you’re stealing my thunder.”

She scowled.  “I’m not doing it on purpose.”

“So, go see a doctor.”  You pushed.

Tony followed you outside where Happy was waiting with the car.  The three of you slid into the back seat and Pepper huffed.  “I just… it’s only in the mornings or certain smells.  It’s got to just be some weird sympathy thing.”

“Maybe you’re actually pregnant,”  Tony said.  He’d meant it as a joke but as soon as the words were out of his mouth it was like something clicked into place.  Maybe she was pregnant.  He couldn’t remember when she last had her period, and they’d been tracking it regularly right up until they did the first IVF run with you.

“Ha-ha, very funny, Tony.”  Pepper snarked.

“But maybe you are pregnant, Pepper.”  You said.

“You do kind of look like you’re glowing.”  Happy added looking in the rearview mirror.

“No.  How could I be?  We did all that IVF.”  She stopped talking and seemed to try and count something off on her fingers.  “How could I be?”

“Hap, stop at a pharmacy and get some pregnancy tests would you?”  Tony said.

“You got it, boss.”  Happy replied and swerved the car around, double parking it outside a CVS on Lexington.  He jumped out and ran inside as horns sounded behind him and someone cursed them as they went around.

“But… we couldn’t.  It wasn’t working.”  Pepper said.

“I can’t explain it Pepper, but it’s possible, right?  It would explain this.”  Tony said.

“How come you get glowing and I get a breakout on my jaw?”  You snarked.

“The glow is oily skin.”  Pepper said absentmindedly.  “It depends on how dry your skin was to begin with.”

“God damn it.”  You cursed.

“What will we do?”  Pepper said looking at him.  “We already have twins.”

“Triplets?”  Tony said making an exaggerated shrug.  He was pretty far from actually being worried about this.  He was actually pretty excited at the thought of the possibility of a large instant family.

“Does it count as triplets if two different people are carrying them?”  You asked.

“I don’t know.  I mean, they’re genetically me and Pepper and they’ll be due roughly the same time.” He mused.  “What counts?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s housed in the same uterus.”  You said.

“Can we please argue about that when I’m not freaking out”  Pepper groaned.

Happy ran back out and jumped into the car passing the paper bag back to Tony.  “Hotel?”  He asked.

“Yes, please,”  Pepper said.

“And can you swing past Katz’s after.  Get us some Matzo Ball Soup, a garden salad, and a Reuben.”  Tony added.

“And Knish.”  You added.  “Potato ones.”

“Sure thing.”  Happy said pulling back into traffic.

He drove the three of you back to the Gramercy and Tony lead you and Pepper back up to the Penthouse.  Pepper was in full panic mode by the time they got upstairs and rushed straight into the main bathroom and locked the door.

“Are you okay in there, Pepper?”  You called, leaning on the door.

“Yes, leave me alone to pee in peace.”  She called back.

You snorted and moved to Tony.  “Well then,”  You said.  “I bet she is.”

“I’m not taking that bet.”  He said.

“Oh go on.  A billion dollars.  I’ll bet you a billion dollars.”

“What do you need a billion dollars for?”

You shrugged and flopped down on the couch.   The door opened and Pepper slumped out.  “Positive.  There wasn’t even a wait for lines to show.  It was right away.”

Tony rushed to her side and pulled her into a hug.  A second later you had slammed into their sides and hugged them both tightly.

“Oh my god, this is amazing,”  Tony said.

“We’re going to be pregnant at the same time.  How awesome is that?”  You added.

“I don’t - how - how do we do this?”  She said.  “How did this happen?”

Tony really didn’t know the answer to that.  All he knew for sure was he had the resources and he was excited.  He was going to be part of a big family and he’d make sure they didn’t have to worry about anything.

// NEXT

#tony stark #pepper potts #iron man #tony stark x reader #pepper potts x reader #tony stark x pepper potts #iron man fanfic #pepperony #pepperony x reader #tony stark x pepper potts x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #fluff #angst #polyamory #the unicorn

[seraph-novak]

Are you taking prompts for Tyrus? If so, could you do one where TJ helps Cyrus to rehearse for a play? thanks, have a lovely day.

All feedback is very much appreciated, but comments and reblogs really make all the difference. Thank you!

Also available on AO3 ♥

~~~~~

Cyrus is quickly losing his patience. On the opposite end of the Kippens’ couch, Amber is grinning down at her phone, a strand of golden hair twisted around her finger as she giggles at something on the screen – no doubt another text from her ‘mystery’ admirer. Cyrus simply sits there and waits, passively fiddling with the corner of his script as he waits for his friend to snap out of her crush-induced daze.

Without thinking, he lets his eyes drift to the corner of the room, settling on the older boy sitting quietly in a well-worn chair, his nose buried in a book. His hair is a shade darker than Amber’s, but his eyes are the same sea-foam green, with a touch of grey softening the bright hue. He’s never really spoken to Amber’s brother before, apart from a few pleasantries exchanged in passing, but there’s something about TJ Kippen that has always intrigued him…

Just then, the other boy lifts his head, as if sensing Cyrus’ curious eyes. A blush warms Cyrus’ cheeks as he quickly returns his attention to the script in his hands, but not quick enough to miss the hint of a smirk playing on TJ’s lips.

“Are you almost done?” he asks Amber, his words sounding sharper than intended. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees TJ go back to reading his book, and his shoulders slump in relief. “Sorry, I just… I’ve only got a few more days to rehearse, remember? The nerves are starting to kick in.”

Amber glances up from her phone, a sliver of guilt fracturing her lovesick smile. “Sorry, Cy. Just gimme a sec.”

It takes closer to a minute than a second for Amber to finally put her phone down, but Cyrus lets it slide. At least he now has a distraction from the indecipherable looks TJ keeps sneaking him, scorching his skin and quickening his heartbeat. 

As they return to the play, Cyrus can’t ignore the longing glances Amber keeps flicking at her phone. With every new text, her concentration wanes even more, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she visibly fights the urge to throw the script across the room and pick up her phone instead. She’s practically vibrating with the effort to focus, her face pinching tighter and tighter as the incoming texts start to slow down.  

“Amber,” Cyrus says, nudging her leg with his foot. “It’s your line.”

She tears her eyes away from the phone, now blessedly silent, and shakes her head. “Sorry… Where are we?”

“Page 14. Line 38.”

“Oh, right.” She slides a finger down the script, her brow furrowed as she searches for the right line. A few seconds later, she clears her throat and falls back into character. “Thomas,” she says, her voice slightly higher than usual. “I thought you’d never –”

“Nope,” Cyrus cuts her off. “Wrong line.”

“Are you sure?”

Cyrus smooths his face and lifts an eyebrow, his breath catching on the edge of a sigh. “Unless we skipped ahead to the final scene without me realising, I’m pretty sure it’s the wrong line.”

Across the room, TJ snorts, an amused smile nicking the corner of his mouth as he meets Cyrus’ eyes. For a brief moment, something warm and sweet blossoms in his chest, but it’s quickly cooled by the sudden ringing of Amber’s phone. He shoots a glare at his friend, silently warning her not to pick it up, but it’s no use.

“I’m so sorry,” Amber says, shrugging helplessly. “It’s Andi. I have to answer!” Before Cyrus can protest, she throws her script at TJ and picks up her phone, already halfway up the stairs. “Run lines with Cyrus until I’m back, okay?”

TJ frowns. “But –”

“Thank you!”

A flirtatious giggle floats down the stairs in her wake, followed by the sound of her bedroom door closing. Once she’s gone, an awkward silence settles over the room. Cyrus looks over at TJ, his stomach churning as the older boy studies the script now lying in his lap, and forces a smile.

“You don’t really have to run lines with me,” he says, twisting his hands together. “I’ll just wait until she’s back.”

TJ scoffs. “That could be a while.”

“Yeah.” He huffs a laugh, then sighs. “Maybe I should just go…”

“I thought you said you only had a few days to rehearse?”

“I do,” Cyrus says, his heart skipping at the notion of TJ paying attention to what he was saying. “But I can do that by myself. Or I’ll ask my mom to help.” He winces, realising too late how lame that must sound. “Or one of my many friends.”

TJ chuckles, and the sound sends a pleasant shiver down his spine, soothing the aching burn of his cheeks.

“Let me help.”

“I… You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

“But –”

“Scooch over,” TJ says, gently slapping Cyrus’ outstretched legs with his script as he sits down on the couch. When he’s comfortable, he licks his finger and flips through the pages. “Page 14, right?”

Cyrus swallows thickly. “Um… Yeah.”

“You’re Thomas?”

“Yeah.”

“So, I guess I’m… Alice?”

A nervous laugh bubbles in his chest. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“I don’t mind,” TJ insists.

“Are you sure?”

“100%.”

Cyrus hesitates, then breathes a sigh as he settles down and reopens his script. “Okay then… I’ll start from the top.” He coughs to clear his throat, flicking an anxious glance at TJ, and starts to read. “I think we need to talk, Alice.”

“About what?” TJ says, a feminine twinge to his voice.

Cyrus fights back a smile and keeps reading.

They run through the scene fluidly, only stopping to turn pages and share secret smiles over the tops of their scripts. As Thomas confesses his undying love for Alice, and the tone of the play takes a turn into sappy territory, Cyrus feels himself flushing darkly, his voice turning tight and raspy as the two characters begin tossing flirtatious comments at each other.

“Who wrote this play?” TJ asks on the cusp of a laugh, his own cheeks turning pink. “It’s very, uh…”

“Terrible?”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna say it that bluntly, but yeah.”

Cyrus snorts. “A few of the girls in my group are Jane Austen wannabes.”

“Yikes.”

“Yep.” Cyrus scratches the back of his head, the smile slowly dying on his lips as he skims through the upcoming pages of groan-worthy dialogue. “We can stop if you want.”

TJ snaps his head up. “What? No! It’s just starting to get juicy.”

“I thought you said it was terrible?”

“It is, but…”

Across the room, the discarded book lying on the chair TJ was previously sitting in catches his eye, and a teasing grin spreads across his face. There’s a cheesy stock photo of two women in old-fashioned dresses strolling through a park on the cover, with tiny umbrellas held above their bonneted heads.

“Oh,” he says, folding his arms with a quirk of an eyebrow. “I see… You’re a Jane Austen wannabe, too.”

TJ blushes. “It’s my mom’s!”

“Sure.”

“Shut up…”

“Hey, I’m not judging!”

When TJ sees him smirking, he breaks into a smile of his own, playfully kicking Cyrus in the shin as readjusts himself on the couch. “Let’s get back to it.”

“Eager, aren’t we?”

“Ha-ha.”

Cyrus wipes the grin off his face, despite the butterflies still fluttering in his stomach, and tries to focus on the poorly-written script in his hands. They dive back into flirty banter – Austen style – all the while stealing glances at each other, their lips twitching with barely supressed laughter. It’s only when the scene shifts from light to serious that Cyrus feels his palms beginning to sweat.

“You look beautiful in the moonlight,” he says, his voice trembling. Even though the words aren’t directed at TJ, he can still hear his heart pounding against his ribcage as he risks a glance at the other boy, trying to gauge his reaction. “You look beautiful in all lights, of course, but this is different.”

TJ licks his lips. “Different how?”

“Your hair shines,” Cyrus says, his voice a whisper. “Your eyes twinkle like starlight. Your skin glows.” He lifts his head, eyes drifting to TJ’s face once again. His gaze is fixed resolutely on his script, but Cyrus can see the blush creeping up his neck, the ripple of his throat as he swallows, the slight furrow between his brows, the silent murmur of his lips as he follows Cyrus’ lines on the page… “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”

TJ freezes, his mouth falling open, and Cyrus realises his mistake: that line isn’t in the script.

“I…” The words die in his throat. He gulps back his embarrassment and tries again, his face starting to burn. “I’m sorry, I just… I-I don’t know where that came from.”

“It’s okay –”

“I got a little carried away, you know?” Cyrus closes his script and gets to his feet, desperately searching for his bag beneath the coffee table. “I think I should go now. Thanks for helping me and everything… I really appreciate it.”

TJ reaches for his arm, but Cyrus shakes him off.

“I’m sorry for making things weird,” he says, tears of humiliation stinging the backs of his eyes. “I don’t know if Amber told you, but I’m gay. Not that you care.” He laughs, completely mortified. “Wow. I just came out to a guy I barely know. This is just getting better and better, isn’t it?”

When TJ reaches for him a second time, he doesn’t miss. His fingers are gentle, but his grip is firm, and he doesn’t take his eyes off Cyrus’ face as he slowly lowers him back onto the couch.

“Calm down,” he says, giving his arm a quick squeeze before letting go. A blinding smile breaks across his face when Cyrus finally meets his eyes. “If you think I’m mad at you for calling me gorgeous, then I must be worse at this than I thought.”

Cyrus frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been flirting with you for the past half an hour, you idiot.”

“What?”

“Okay… I guess I really am bad at this.”

Cyrus shakes his head, trying to steady his racing thoughts. “Are you saying you like me?”

“I have for a while,” TJ admits, shrugging bashfully. “I know we’ve never really talked, but… I’ve seen you around. And you hang out with my sister a lot.” He huffs, one side of his mouth lifting in a crooked smile. “Why do you think I always stay downstairs when you come over? I like being around you.”

“Oh,” Cyrus says, a touch breathless.   

The tension in TJ’s shoulders melts away as Cyrus returns a tentative smile of his own. For a moment, they just sit there, smiling shyly at each on the middle of the couch, their knees deliberately brushing against each other.

“So,” TJ says after a while, his fingers nervously drumming the cool leather between them. “I was thinking… Maybe we could –”

“I’m back!” Amber announces as she bounces down the stairs, her cheeks rosy from her conversation with Andi. When she notices TJ and Cyrus sitting so close, she stalls on the bottom step, her smile morphing into a scowl as she narrows her eyes.  “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing!” Cyrus squeaks, accidentally throwing his script in the air and hitting TJ on the head. He cringes, hiding his face in his hands, and splutters an apology. “Oh no! I’m so sorry, TJ! Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

TJ rubs the back of his head and chuckles. “I think I’ll live.”

“Maybe you should go upstairs now,” Amber says, glaring pointedly at her brother. “We have work to do.”

“Right.” TJ rolls his eyes and gets to his feet, shoving his script into Amber’s hands. He picks up his cheesy Victorian novel and heads towards the stairs, only stopping to cast a gentle smile over his shoulder at Cyrus. “Good luck with the play,” he says, ignoring the daggers Amber is shooting at the side of his head. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”

Cyrus chews his lip and shrugs. “You could come, you know? The tickets are all sold out, but I could sneak you in.” He blushes, immediately doubting himself. “Only if you want to, of course. I mean, the script is pretty terrible, and I’m not exactly the greatest actor in the world, so you really don’t have to –”

“I’m there,” TJ cuts in with another smile, offering him a wink before turning around and disappearing up the stairs.

As soon as he’s gone, Amber throws herself onto the couch and punches Cyrus in the arm. “You’re not allowed to have a crush on my brother, okay? That goes against the rules of friendship!”

“You have way too many rules,” Cyrus says. “And, besides… You’ve been flirting with my best friend all afternoon, so I’d say we’re even.”

Amber opens her mouth to protest, then freezes, a groan escaping her lips. “Okay, that’s fair.”

“Thank you.”

“But you do admit you have a crush on him?”

Cyrus glances at the staircase, the frantic beating of his heart still echoing in his ears as a nervous grin tugs at his lips. “Yeah… I think I do.”

The End.

~~~~~

You can find the rest of my Tyrus fics on Tumblr or AO3! Thanks for reading ♥

#tyrus #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #andi mack #tyrus fics

[sassysweetcollegegirls]

I’ll Love you No Matter What pt9

Keith hadn’t been prepared for the alarm. He looked angrily at the Bra on the floor “Fuck...” it was essentially spend twenty minutes putting the damned thing back on or go save the universe. Universe or Bra. Boobs can wait and Universes can only be saved once. 

Keith pulls on the shirt and his pants and runs down the hall into the hanger. His suit is ready and so is he armor has been tougher with boobs the plates don’t exactly want to shift so they fit just like they used to. So Keith takes that deep breath and clips them on knowing the snugness is going to be the only thing keeping his boobs from going kitty wompus during battle.

“Keith you better be in that Lion.” Shiro says as He slides into Reds seat. She welcome him with purs and growls that seem to ease the panic and settle the excitement into his limbs again.

“CALM DOWN GRANDPA.” hisses Keith as Red catches up the tail ends of Shiro’s Lion in sight.

“ What are we looking at?” Lance asks and Keith has to swallow the nervous bile in throat at the sound of his voice. It’s sure but there’s something else there. Breathlessness- from what?

“Some kind of ro-“

“Ahhhhhh! Hunk WATCH OUT!!!” Keith sees Hunk barreling over Pidge and his stomach does one of those nervous tosses.

“I CANT SEE IT!” Hunk wails

“See what?!?” Lance shouts back

“THE ROBOT.”

“Shit.” Pidge mutters softly but Keith hears it and then the clicking of her fingers on Greens panels.

“Pidge.” Shiro’s using the voice.

“It’s got s-“ and then Hunk and Pidge are barreling again. This time like bumper cars toward each other. Shiro’s Lion reaches out to green and grasps it’s tail before they collide.

“IM GUNNA BARF.”

“Not the time buddy.” Lance warns,” how are we supposed to see this thing?”

“ Thermal imaging..” pidge offers,” Green do we have a bucket?”

“Alright team let’s try thermal and then then attack from all sides.” Shiro’s directive and everyone follows nodding softly

“What does it even want?”

“OUR LIONS?” Keith huffs loudly.

“What they always want.” Pidge gags

Keith flips some buttons and his screen shifts colors and red starts humming as per usual (she likes to sing in battle it’s weird) .

“Woah.”

The camera has captured a beast with these large tentacle like arms and the head of a bird but it doesn’t have any base it just floats. It’s red eyes are unfocused spinning. At the center there’s this big blue circle that keeps changing shape.

“What the fuck is that?” Lance asks?

“Lake mon-“ Hunk begins but just as he starts talking the blue circle burst open into a star shape and purple sparks fly forward striking the yellow lion.

“HUNK.” Everyone yells and Keith watches helplessly as the yellow lion withers in pain. Red growls and starts rushing forward, he holds her back though.

“I’m okay...” Hunk says softly gasping. “Whatever that beam is it steals power source. Yellows down a few bars.”

“Okay avoid the beam guys.” Shiro says

“Don’t get hit by tentacles, beam and use thermal imaging... anything else oh fearless one?” Lance is smug he sounds irritated or turned on and Keith can’t tell which one it is and he’s frustrated by it.

“Yes. We’re gunna need Voltron.” Shiro snips and Keith shudders. Sure they’d done the little picture but the actual mind melding was 100% different it was like letting everyone feel you from the inside and Keith wasn’t sure he was 100% ready for that. Well at least not for Lance.,” EVERYONE FORM VOLTRON.”

Keith closed his eyes and nodded knowing he needed to follow rules and formation he turned Red and cleared his mind. They were doing it flying in formation he was thinking about an unstoppable impossibly defatable robot with a huge sword and everyone just kept flying... that’s when the beam hit Lance.

Blue fell back and the beam sparked hard her body arching.

“Lance!!” Keith cried rushing backwards Reds cannons aiming toward the base of the beam.

“Why didn’t it work?!” Pidge asked panicked

“WHY DIDNT WE GET ALL BEEFY?” Hunk whispered loudly

“Beefy hunk? Really?” Pidge groaned

“Look I’m tired okay?”

“Someone’s off focus they aren’t thinking about Voltron...” Shiro was confused

“ITS NOT ME.” Keith said turning his lion to the group as a tentacle whipped him across the body.

“It’s me...” came Lances small voice.

“WHAT?” Was the collective response.

“Look my minds been a little pre-occupied...” 

“With what!? What could possibly be keeping you from forming VOLTRON IN AN IMPORTANT B-” Theres a pause as Pidge is smacked by one of the tenticles and she attempts to right herself. 

“ Pidge is right Lance. You need to tell us whats keeping you from forming Voltron.”  Shiro growls as he fires blindly at one of the tenticles. 

“ I can’t...” Lance shudders at the very thought. 

“Lance, YOU have to or we won’t be able to form VOLTRON.” Hunk Shouts 

Keith fires aimlessly at the tentacles but they don't seem to be taking anything. Theres this desperate sound in Lance’s voice and then their’s this almost whine as tentacles hiss through the air,” WE DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS LANCE.” Keith hisses as another tentacle tried to wrap itself around Red,” JUST SPIT IT OUT.”

Everyone but Lance seemed to be locked into the battle of the tentacles Lance was floating his lion shooting beams occasionally at the center,” WHY WONT THIS THING JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY.”

“Because- SPIT IT OUT!!!” Keith shouted as her lion was spunn into a turn as she tried to break away but was pulled back by a tentacle.

“I SAW KEITH NAKED.” Lance shouts angrily as he slams all his controls at once making Blue do a complicated move.

There’s complete silence from everyone and Lance is panting slamming controls and dogging trying to distract the beast. Keith is completely frozen the tips of his ears feel red and his neck is hot.” You what?” Is all he can think but Keith didn’t realize he’d said it out loud and he can hear Lance take the collective gulp.

“You were in the showers at 1am... I walked in and-“

“Please tell me you did not stay.” Shiro groans and the tentacle holding him squeezes a little harder.

Keith can’t breath though. His lungs are in his throat, he’s panicked. He’d been talking to Red, asking her if she thought Lance really hated him...Who cared if Lance saw his boobs they were fucking flesh. Shiro had seen them for Pete’s sake. But if Lance had heard any of his confession to Red....

“Keith?” Pidge is on his private com and he can’t focus he can still hear Lance rambling and screaming about things that won’t die. He can hear Hunks panic and Shiro’s disappointment. He can imagine Lance pushing the buttons and screaming. That’s when he notices it. Lance is turned away from the robot he’s yelling at Shiro and shooting at the tentacles holding their leader. He doesn’t notice the big green light or the moon shape. He doesn’t see any of it. He’s so focused.

And Keith starts breathing again. He can feel red roaring beneath him her body becoming hot. She takes a big bite out of tentacle and the robot lets her go. And then his mind does what it always does during battle. It makes a list.

1. Hunks food is wonderful

2. Lance is an idiot

3. The one holding all of them together has bright blue eyes and brown eyes

4. The one who makes him smile can vary on any given day but blues always there

5. Shiro needs to get home to Adam.

6. That green beam may kill him...

7. He loves Lance... he loves pidge and Shiro and Hunk and Allura and Coran.

8. It’s okay to let go for those you love...

And then his list ends because he pushes forward. Red whines softly and he soothes her by singing that stupid happier song she loves and he hates.

Lance doesn’t see Red but he feels her as she kicks him clear of the green beam that sparks across her body. Everyone watches in quiet shock. Keith and Red struggle in the blaze of the beam and then her lights go out and she floats quietly.

Keith watches the panels turn off and his whole body aches he can feel the blood falling from his nose. “It was beautiful flying with you....” and then his eyes slide closed as he sees blue float closer and the air in his lungs float away.

#klance #keith kogane #klangst #lance mcclain #takashi shirogane #voltron #allura #pidge gunderson #hunk garrett #bad battle #hurt keith #holy shit #keiths a girl

[feralhogs]

ANSWER 1 THROUGH 65 HO

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

WPOOOOO LETS GO 

Y E E T

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nnnnooooooo. its called holding onto my last marble.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. sometimes i can freak myself out going to the bathroom at night but bro. i take walks at like 11pm or whenever the hell i please. and i LIKE IT.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

i would not care to meet dick face

4. What is your favorite word?

worm

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

well darn i dont really knowwww!!!!!!! the big jungle one from minecraft. but i love weeping willows of course.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didnt think

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my pyjama shirt from new vegas. las vegas. oh my god. not that i went there. my friend did. ive been wearing it for 3 days now. because its fine.

8. What do you label yourself as?

androgynouOOUUSSSSSSS i heard it described the most accurately for me as “in between blue and pink, purple is a blend while not being either of them.” yes this SPECIFICALLY. i could never be feminine while female presenting, but now that im usually read as masculine i go around seeming gay as fuck. and even though this sounds like heresy considering how i instinctively want to throat punch people who feminize me, i have comfortably considered myself a woman lately ONLYYYYYYYY BY being as butch as a butch can possibly butch. maybe without the cars. i would NEVER go by she/her NEVER NEVER NEVER. like there literally are butch women who go on T and use he/him pronouns. that brings me euphoria too and i find people reallllyyyyyy get mind-bent at this point. i really also get irritated at the idea that identifying with both lessens one or the other... thats why i like the purple thing so much. like im 100% of the thing. i was watching on queer eye, once, there was this part where all these women met up and one of them who was really masculine was saying how “a woman can look like this too” and i was like “i am probably crying for an important reason right now” and sometimes i feel attraction to women that is nOT of the ManTM just... i can do what i want. 

but my point is it’s like im only happy if i have a blend. theres even a particular quality of it i can put my finger on, like a rugged, handsome feel... and then a flamboyant, passionate feel... mix em all up... 

9. Bright room or dark room?

BRIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

transition juice, or fucking around with cs paint with some gentle existential dread

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this one, because my life is not hell, and i know a few basics about adulting now

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the sister. i said it for damage control because she had blown a fuse the other day. i was being very fake on purpose because i’m not being vulnerable with someone who will blow up. when she says it all i feel is pain. like cold paralyzing needles in my soul. i cant say i love you to her and mean it, even if i want to. honestly i wish people would say this to me. the most i love yous i remember are from family members putting band aids on the wreckage of our relationships, so i can feel a little twang of guilt and longing for what could have been and should have been. and feel like i should be doing something more. and feeling awkward because you both know they fucked up and it’s the elephant in the room. and i can feel their confusion and sickness causing them pain, feeling that pain for them. 

13. Your worst enemy?

hmmm. anyone who made me feel like less than i am. anyone 

14. What is your current desktop picture?

cherry blossoms and a city at night that i stole off the internet

15. Do you like someone?

like like crushes right? i fucking wish. i am so god damn sick of myself. i dont feel fuck or shit for anyone. its a fucking wasteland. yes im on T so i want to fuck anything that moves. and yet? can i please have some feelings? please may i have some feelings? not aesthetic appreciation. not moral, personality appreciation. or even just a deep respect and compassion. these are all fine things of course. but cant someone just drive me crazy? cant i have that extra spice of life? cant i just have a little bit of happy crazy? i will know a perfectly lovely person and ill WANT to have feelings for them. but i FUCKEN DONT. I DONT!!!! SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANIGN?!?!??!??!?!1 i have fucking YET to meet anyone im more obsessed with than some really gay ocs. come on universe!!!! bring it!!! poor oscar. poor fucking oscar. whatever wavelength im vibing on man you are not on it. i wish you were on it. i wish you were on it oscar. you are hot you are hot with your bike oscar. and the rose quartz i gave you. the rose quartz you wanted. but i feel no authentic electric connection to you. i feel like all i just see is how your brain works with a coolheaded certainty. all i do is analyze what you are wearing so i can be as hot as you. maybe id like to draw you. and girls from work. you are so beautiful and amazing. i see you in bikinis on instagram. and im like oh beauty standards. look at you go, adhering to them. my heart rate goes right along at the same old pace. dont tell me this is principles. does someone have to smell bad? like edward cullen?? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SEDUCE ME?!!!?? ID LOVE SOME EXTRA WILL TO LIVE! THEN MY STORIES WILL BE BETTER!!!! see this is the whole problem

16. The last song you listened to?

what am i to you by finn the human or actually that asgore fight song that i do not know the context of and dont want to until i play the game for myself

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

i would save this button for a karen.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

jk rowling. every time i see her face in a news article about why her bland new transphobia anvil book is pretty bland without addressing the raging transphobia in it and around it, i take a minute and contemplate shoving a pie in her face, and agonizing that i cannot do it from this distance.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

a... slave? is this a kink thing? im fucking laughing this is going to be so honest. probably a toxic person from my past i have unresolved sexual tension with, especially since i was in my abused kid shell and was a huge doormat so now im all vengeful with issues. since this is totally something i am open to considering right now i would like to browse this concept’s menu

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

yknow what? yknow what? i am just going to say all of me. i am feeling very body positive right now. i often feel isolated as fuck because of trans stuff and male body standards, but thats Also What Makes Me Special :) i like me, i like my face, i think i am very cool and unique, and i can walk fast.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

GOD DAMN IT THIS FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

yes. but it’s a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

deep sea creatures. idk. even if its small and not even ugly. i just lose my fucking mind. i jump out of my chair. i get the heebies and the jeebies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

okay. chicken. cheese. something spicy so it wont be boring. a fuck ton of veggies so i can be healthy. and some olives, fuck olive haters.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MY LANDLORD <3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

mexico city to see what all my friends are talking about.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

............................................................................

w    h       y

okay. i would go around tasting a bunch of fucking. really fancy old wines. listen i dont really drink okay. but with a very fancy old wine i can go around with a like, glass and look really sophisticated and tell gay things to gay people. hello boys. so id find one that strategically i would like the most for the rest of my life and choose it. and if its expensive i can sell it.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i would stick a bell in the middle of it and all of us have to go there at six o’clock and throw bread at each other and fuck.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cunt. i dont really use it ever, but boy it can pack a punch! 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

that means my trees because theyre living things? good. my phone. i need it to function. everything else i have on the clouds and i can just write on a napkin if i really need.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

:( 

i wanna say nothing because the good and the bad made me who i am and all that. and they’re learning experiences and healthy stuff. but some of my sisters abuse that has destroyed my psyche, literally just ruined my life, it would make things easier if that hadnt happened.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

WHAT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LIFE STOP TELL ME HOW I GET THERE

Okay i’m moving to... greece and i’m going to study ancient greek everything and live right on the edge of the sea where the water’s lapping the doorsteps. and im gonna learn greek by immersion

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

i am not surprised whatsoever death is a cool entity.

probably someone who died really sadly and too soon in my life (no one close to me thank god) but just as a service to society

34. What was your last dream about?

wolves with bombs were chasing me around a giant university. it was all part of the game. i was trying to protect some people... soldiers were chasing me... i was hiding under the floor... hiding from authorities and war are VERY common dreams for me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Writer? Yes. am i saying that to sound full of myself? no. i am fighting very hard to maintain some self-confidence. i have done some writing recently and i am proud as fuck of myself. i caught myself thinking, “now that was banging, i know that was banging.” and so i just admitted it to myself.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

nooooot reeeaaaalllyyyyyy. i went in an ambulance for my face swelling up! still dont know if i needed to. still think i was allergic to the person i was talking to at the time. seriously when i stopped talking to them the hives went away. they literally gave me hives sdjfnskjndsjknfkjsfnjskdnfdsjknfjknf

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

they have inuyashas on them

39. What type of music do you like?

dark, longing, aching, angry, raw, disappointed, serious, low songs that get intense as fuck.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises for the concept, sunsets for the looks

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

you know what? i dont really like milkshakes. they dont feel good in my tummy even if it’s not my stomach having a fucking meltdown.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

the fuck is football

43. Do you have any scars?

yes, most of them are from dermatillomania, two big cool-looking ones on my hands from touching a cookie sheet without an oven mitt and pouring microwaved coffee all over my thumb because literally every inch of the counter had a foot of dishes on it and i didn’t simply heat up the water normally because everything was dirty

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i want to be a psychologist and an author

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

id like a dong please

46. Are you reliable?

yeeeeeesssssss...... but the adhd wins sometimes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

future self: even if you’re in a worse off place than where i am right now, don’t regret anything, don’t beat yourself up. sometimes it’s realistic to have hope. you don’t have to be hard on yourself all the time just because it’s familiar and natural to you. so stop thinking “if i see a note from my past self ill be filled with rueful self awareness”

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes. i feel like im saving my soul a little and taking some power back when i am able to say “that hurt, that was wrong, and you don’t get access to me anymore, i don’t have to forgive you” it’s admitting that my own pain is real so i can listen to and protect myself. i wish i was more of a forgiving person but i spent too much time trying to forgive unorganically for the sake of being moral that i just can’t, can’t can’t now. it hurts so existentially and i deserve better. time for me to be mean and hold grudges. a little mean is okay.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a DOG  CAT????????

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

“doesn’t having a human-shaped robot with smoke coming out of it in the corner of your shop scare you late at night?”

“yes, sometimes i see it and jump a little”

51. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i’m dedicated. getting my birth certificate back? oscar worthy

52. How long could you go without talking?

i live like this lmao

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

once upon a time i had bangs. and a bob cut

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes bitch

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

yes bitch i can do a convincing british accent but i don’t want to broadcast that fact because being british is cringe and plus my name is gordon and im already trans and interested in cooking and my greatest fear is that people think i am trying to become him when i am deeply offended when people assume i make personal decisions for anyone other than myself. no one has ever actually voiced this theory to me but it haunts me late at night. i can honestly probably do any accent if i listen to it for a little bit. i find it very easy to imitate sounds and like individual speaking styles to the point of stealing them even when i dont want to. like actually this is something that just comes to me easily i think.

56. What do you like on your toast?

fuck toast. i make a grill cheese. cheese and garlic.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

i tried digitally painting a generic girl who ended up looking really simliar to someone i went to school with only i made the eyes way too small and i would show you except it’s too much work

58. What would be you dream car?

vw bug with giant monster wheels, black with flames, big booming stereo. eyelashes in a drag way. ill run pickup trucks off the road

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i sang in the shower back when i felt free to annoy everyone in the house. oH WAIT IT DOESNT ANNOY PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND TO ME

...........

they taught me i was annoying. ANYWAY. i am too shy to sing in the shower but id love to. i dont really do anything unusual except that i take really long in there but yknow im not actually doing what people think im doing when i take long. im literally just sitting there decomposing, head empty.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes, of course, i have been telling everyone theres water under mars since day one and now look. now look

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yes. im a sagittarius and clearly it is needed because CLEARLY theres no other fucking sagittariuses

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G, because my name starts with that and i’m just great. really, i like... it has a chonk to it. like a reliable chonk to it

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

YKNOW WHAT? im going with dragons because of the fantasy, fire breathing and so on but yknow for my wip i was going to have both dragons and dinosaurs at a reptile like shelter

64. What do you think about babies?

i think they should be loved and nurtured, but they are too much work for me to want for myself at this point of life, and you should definitely read some manuals before having one if you can because people can and do mess this the fuck up

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

you didn’t ask anything here so im just going to tell you something. i am going to tell you that i have always been so hell bent on writing even when i hate it because sometimes when things are going well i feel like i am just so in another world and i feel like im doing something im really really supposed to do. it is such a euphoria and it has an effect on my whole aura. i really wish i had never made myself stop but we can’t change the past so i shall just have to never stop again.

THANKS HOOOOO

#chatty #notthecanadianaverage #bug

[agnesmariedayao]

10 Things You Learned in Preschool That'll Help You With best piano for beginners

BALDWIN THERES a new baby in the house. She weighs 600 pounds and has a whole mouthful of teeth. Eighty-eight! She is adopted, not our own, technically, and because of the circumstances of the adoption, we have already named her - Mother. If this baby could talk rather than rattle the windows when she sounds off, she might express objections to the dateline on this column. Her family name is Steinway.

Shes a grand baby, and vice versa, five and a half feet long. She fits the alcove in our living room as though it was made for her. She was born in the Steinway workshops 42 years ago, and came to us in the spring.

She arrived somewhat out of tune, but so might you be if youd just been trucked to Long Island from Maine standing on your head. The circumstances of the adoption:

The mother of a friend bought the piano in 1940 (the year is inscribed on Mothers gold cast-iron harp) for her family, and while the acquisition certainly added to the class of the living room, nobody in the family but my friends mother played the piano, and at that only two songs.

Some years back, my friends mother died, and when the estate was dealt with, the piano was an outstanding item. My friends spouse is a classical pianist and already has a piano. And so the 1940 Steinway needed a good home, my friend told me, and it was adopted by a couple who live in Maine.

The couple were planning a major move to Maryland, but in the apartment they wanted, there was no room for a baby grand. And so, once again, the Steinway needed a good home. A Steinway, I said. I had a Steinway once. Incredible instrument. Tough action - really made you learn to play. Even to read music. I ...

You what? my friend inquired. Well, I said, it was a lot like your friends problem. We were living in a one-story ranch home in Hicksville and the grand was a D model, just below concert length, see, and it took up most of the living room. So I traded it in for a spinet. Got a good deal.

I did not tell my friend that, when playing for parties, I had whacked that Steinway so hard that I broke the hammer of the middle G and had stamped the pedals so hard that the sustaining pedal stuck forever, making the notes all run together if you touched that pedal. There was a madness in my method. I wanted a Steinway again.

And so the adoption was arranged. I would pay half the cost of the moving - a Steinway, for $100! The going price for such an instrument, old as Mother is, is something around $5,000 - and the piano would stay with us for my lifetime, then revert to my friend or heirs. But the adoptive owners took their time about moving.

Robert Frederick McMorrows fingers itched for the Steinway as much as mine did. He is one of our resident adult sons who is already a bass-guitar player and is studying piano. Our spinet, a Sterling, has given us 22 years of service and is still in good voice, but the coils of the deep-bass strings are unraveling.

The other resident adult son, Thomas, is an electric-guitar player whose amplifying equipment would crowd a stageful of Rolling Stones.A grand piano? he howled. Where are you going to put it?

Pay no attention to him, Robert said. Howm I going to sleep with that thing going off like a cannon under me? Thomas asked. You guys practice all hours of the day and night! The neighbors will all go deaf!

Months went by. And then, in the spring, we received a call from somebody called Al, who had just turned off the Long Island Expressway and was confused, as any State-of-Mainer might be, about how to get to Baldwin. I gave him directions. Ill be on our corner waiting for you to guide you in, I said.

Nearly an hour went by. Then the biggest tractor-trailer rig that has ever come down Grand Avenue rumbled toward me. I pointed into our street. Al made the turn and the top of his rig performed some tree surgery on a neighbors venerable maple. Neighbors came out to gape. Another piano? said Mike Ruggierio Sr., from across the street. Why dont you just hire a band?

Al and his helper moved the piano, wrapped in quilts, into our alcove and set it up. How can you lift a thing like that? the former Eileen Palmer asked. Ive moved these alone, Al said.

Piano movers are mighty men; I remembered, when my first piano was delivered to an apartment I was living in, not having the money to tip the movers who had wrestled the thing up six flights, and the boss mover saying, quietly, If I had an ax, Id chop that thing up for firewood.

I paid the money, Al and his man went off toward Maryland, and the former Eileen Palmer bent over the keys. She played two bars of a song taught her by a piano teacher when she was a girl in Portland, Ore. Havent heard that in years, I said.

Wont hear it again - I never learned the rest, she said. I remembered my friend telling me of listening to Mothers mother playing her two numbers, Traumerei and Au Matin. Sit down and play this thing, my wife said.

Robert Frederick McMorrow stood over me as I ran through My Shining Hour. That was the test piece I had played in the showroom of the piano company house that had the spinet, and the Sterlings sound sold it to me.

What a sound, Thomas McMorrow said. I got up. He sat down. He tested the bass authority. Hey, Dad, you cant play this thing, he said. The keys are like pumping iron!

Theyre supposed to be, Robert Frederick McMorrow said. May I? I had to go out. R..F McM. looked like part of the piano as he ran through Beethovens Fur Elise. He may play that piano all night, his mother said. He did. I couldnt wait for him to leave on business of his own, the next day. At the keyboard, I felt like a Horowitz commanding a concert hall: all that expanse of mahogany stretching out in front of me, when, playing a spinet, the pianist is usually staring at a wall.

To accommodate the Steinway, the Sterling had been moved into the dining room. It looked sad there. To give it equal time with Mother, I went over to it when Oh, You Crazy Moon entered my mind. It felt like a toy. When the tuner came, I had him bring both pianos up to pitch. Duet, anyone?

[galimatios]

sci fi ya au musings from twitter thread mostly nts

maybe i do want to write YA science fiction ya with gay and all my favorite self indulgent tropes and also plugsuits

I HATE MYSELF I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SCENES IN MY HEAD . ITS BEEN TWO GODDAMN SECONDS. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THESE CHARACTERS ARE YET tjinking about those rooms in that one ep of black mirror where youcan program jt tk show whatever you want on the walls. maybe projection of virtual reality vs reality as a major motif. simulations and distance... long distance relationships during a war in space action too... have to think about an enemy but maybe we rag on capitalism a littlle maybe some conglomerate is fighting a proxy war using aliens vs the govt the protags are in the military for theme.. war sucks bye but also theres dynamics i want

UM I CAN PUT BIG MECHA INNNNNNNN YEAHHHH anyway i want 2 loyal dog dynamics to juxtapose w eachother + platonic soulmate type protag duo, best friends , one girl one boy, theyre both equally important, some SHIT happens and theyre forced on different sides at some point one loyal dog is treated well, like an equal, will follow x to the end of the world the other is Not treated well. i want to explicitly make that relationship abusive so i can point at it in the text itself and have other loyal dog be like , that's not love. abandoned loyal dog gets adopted by main duo, ends up in a relationship w one of them (whichever one makes it gay), im ship girl with side character who inspires tf out of her, sort of like. theyre competitive and the side character is light years more skilled but girl wants the challenge, wants the chase, is fueled by the prospect of catching up so "wait for me" LAYS DOWN NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS HAVE NAMES OR DESIGNS OR ANYTHING BUT IM ALREADY ATTACHED TO THESE CONNECTIONS mc pair: one techy soft boy nerd who just wants to protect his family so thats why he agreed to help develop/operate tech bc he thinks this is how he can help headstrong pilot ace girl who has no one but wants to prove herself and make a name for herself so she'll be remembered she wants to win glory for herself and comes off as super confident but actually she's just. asuka evangelion except she doesnt crash and burn so bad bc she has the boy who sees thru it, you dont have to try so hard probably happens after a fight where she's reckless hes not one to get mad but this time he's pissed bc she was exceptionally close to dying, yells at her, why do you keep trying so hard to die kinda snaps her back to reality he wants her to rely on him more bc that's what hes here for anyway loyal dog defects from enemy + meets this pair after other loyal dog suggests he joins the crew, tech boy is kind to Everyone but loyal dog FORMERLY AN ASSASSIN ???????? TYPE?? SNIPER?? develops baby crush girl sips her drink :3c

I HAVE TO THINK MORE ABOUT THEM BC OH NO THEYRE CUTE but girl is chasing after some nb femme prodigy who she's rivals with and admires for more than just her skill theyre both emotionally constipated idiots tho so its like. (hand touch) thats enough for 100 years there is. so much tension. and prodigy seems so perfect on the outside but is actually in some kind of super strict fucked up program bc of her skill, and she hated it and is suffering ace pilot is the one to barge in headstrong and fuck everything up and get her out of there girl believes prodigy is amazing. really. incredible. a part of her feels like she'll never catch up . but even so watching prodigy walk into the unknown unflinchingly resolute ... it's both sad in a way bc she's being left behind but also she wouldnt have it any other way bc she thinks forward is the only way prodigy should be facing. its what inspires her. that strength ... h they definitely settle down together in the future tho bc i need ththattt

"when this is all over" said the prodigy, "come find me" this is so self indulgent anyway plotwise once both the govt and the enemy r revealed to be equally bad the main cast defect to a revolutionary group. they will Not win within the span of the novel but theyll have a small victory, very les mis one day more flavored, and even if they did not win they stood for something they believed in, did something to try and tell the truth... also i need more of a cast so i can kill characters off nice now all i have to do is fill all this in with world building and action and stuff and ill have a novel so many sci fi things have done the 2 pilot mind sync emotional thing right so if i do the same thing no one knows if i took it from one franchise or another i need to twist it around a little but i may have ideas haha i can. totally make this a part of my fucking huge sci-fi au really wanna call main girl lane and main boy khemrin . .. i cant unsee the girl as rey flavored so shes ending up w red hair and irish, but boy is SEAsian with a huge family, loyal dog who defects is african, prodigy is asian, other loyal dog feels south american prodigy... astrid is her real name but she may have a codename fsr? idk why i feel it. icarus? assassin defector... something that starts with an o or a d other loyal dog... i need to think but i also need to figure out the personalities of their respective pairs inserts minh as evil one. done. maybe mephis adjacent character for the... no mephis doesnt care abt anyone BUT hed be a great side character OH god what if au jonah and ambrose oh boy. FUCK jonahs probably there for some special task bc hes. attuned to some shit idk

I GUESS IM GONNA DEVELOP AMBROSE MORE ive only written him as a young adult but as a teen hes angry and rebellious and got drafted, ended up being a simple foot soldier but he meets jonah and a lot changes jonah's there on top secret bullshit, same program as astrid definitely has some shit to do With Experiments. astrid has enhanced eyesight/coordination on top of being an ace combat pilot, i think jonah might be able to open up warp gates or limited pocket space mephis is evil scientist who doesnt care abt casualties

I'm thinking about unnamed pilot lesbians and i am. enamored immediately holy shit god they're both so goal oriented and focused but once the fighting is finally over they finally allow themselves to embrace the intensity of their emotions for eachother and i am fucking perishing they were essentially raised as child soldiers so it's this clumsy process of trying to figure things out for the first time, this kind of innocent but intense and blooming love between two hardened soldiers, the years of war coming away when they're together for the first time actually fuck i did name them but i'm still not sure about ace pilot girl? i want to name her lane or something monosyllable, maybe i'll revamp raine and make her this oc instead... either way i'm just. ugh. UGH. FUCK. holy shit they love eachother so much

I"M GETTING REALLY FUCKED UP ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF THE PRODIGY (ASTRID) DYING IN THE LINE OF DUTY or well at least goes missing, presumed dead but raine just... doesn't believe it. astrid can't die. she's too amazing. there's no way fucking. huge disbelief. she refuses? raine going on a near suicidal self-appointed mission against commander's orders to rescue her, khemrin tries to hold her back but he can't, she' fucking gone speeding off on one of the fastest scouting ships she can hijack raine finding her alive but barely conscious in a damaged cockpit floating in space for who knows how long, raine unable to open the hatch and get to her but anchors her ship to hers, NOT EFFECTIVE BUT HER ONLY REAL CHOICE w/o compromising the air seal. makes the journey back astrid barely makes it to the space equivalent of a truck stop (unaffiliated) and raine calls for backup in panic and tries her best to tend to astrid's wounds an feed her and she's fucking PANICKING but trying so hard to keep it together astrid wakes up and raine's crying i don't have anything specific its just really soft and raine never Does this god when they meet again after the war, raine running her fingers over the scar left from astrid's helmet shattering h raine in a tux and astrid dressed like a princess and raine kissing her shoe sorry im gay bye

#notes

[klancencoffee]

DATING CAMILA MENDES WOULD INCLUDE

since nobody is writing about how camila is sooooooooo girlfriend material (and im so in love with her), here it is:

•  it all started with you two being good friends, and as friends, you kept getting closer and closer

• when she found out that you were into girls she smiled so big for herself 

• bc you were this cute girl that since she looked at you she wanted to get to know better 

• at first you texted a lot, and everytime she saw something funny she sended it to you

• bc she knew it would make you laugh and that would make her really happy

• then you started hanging out everytime that she wasnt filming for riverdale, like in between takes you’d go to where she was and take her to grab lunch or something

• you tried getting spoilers from her but even tho she really trusted you already she couldnt tell anything

• but she loved how you got so frustrated bc you. needed. to. know.

• so she teased you a lil bit, saying things like ”this may or may not happen”

• HOW SHE ASKED YOU TO BE HER GIRLFRIEND before that everybody thought you were a couple anyway

• you were sick, like really sick, so she being the caring “friend” that she is showed up at your place w some soup, and why not flowers (something that she learnt from playing veronica) 

• even tho you melted when you saw her with all of that, you didnt want her around  because you were afraid shell get sick too

• but she didnt care, she sat right next to you on the couch and put some movie on netflix

• you were falling asleep with your head on her shoulder and she was looking at you, playing with your fingers

• she probably wanted to ask you to be his girlfriend “properly” like, with a long speech  and give you maybe some chocolate or candy

• but while looking at you the words spilled from her mouth

• “hey do you wanna me like, my girlfriend?”

• “what”

• “what”

• both of you started laughing and oFC YOU SAID YES I MEAN

• so thats how you started dating

• thats when all the fun began hehehe jk

• her phone and yours would be filled with silly photos of you two

• you know that video of her cooking and laughing about it in her ig story? you’d have tons of them doing mostly everything

• like one day, she took your phone while you were showering bc she was bored and her phone didnt have any battery, and going through your camera roll she found this video you took from her while she was watching her favorite movie because you loved how her eyes lighted up whenever her favorite scene was on the screen and how loud she screamed when something “surprising” happened even tho she watched it thousands of times

• she would do the same, because you’d have that kind of relationship

• she comments on every single one of your pics, really short comments like “i love you” “im in love” “mOM” “gorgeous” “mine”

• her mom loves you, and likes to cook for you bc she seems so nice and lovely

• when she is mad over something really silly, she starts speaking portuguese and you just stare at her while she’s screaming walking around the room until she let it all out

• “i was doing it again?” “yup” “im sorry”

• but theres times where you two are cuddling facing eachother and she is putting your hair behind your ear while smiling and shed say “eu tenho tanta sorte“ or “você é tão bonita”

• you wouldnt get anything of what she said (and she probably wouldnt tell you) but youd smile so big because you knew it was something nice and when she speaks in another language is the cutest thing ever

• PDA !!!!! lots of pda

• but not the annoying type like sucking eachother faces in public, but holding hands, long hugs, cheek kisses, forehead kisses !!!

• at least twice a week you go out to eat or have a cute coffee date, talking bout life sitting infront of eachother, holding hands over the table

• she never fails to make you laugh, she’s always doing goofy things or trying to imitate someone (and failing)  just to put a smile on your face

• its 2:34 AM, the lights are gone, the only source of light is coming from your computer screen and you two are dancing in the living room to some random spotify playlist

• you can go from steamy hot makeout session on the couch to sloppy slow kisses filled with love

• she sings to you whenever you ask her 

• she is probably singing 24/7 GOD BLESS HER ANGELIC VOICE

• but if you’re having a rough time or you’re feeling sad, she sings to you in a low tone kinda whispering, while smiling sweetly 

• i dont think she is the jealous type  ? but if anyone is looking at you in a way that they shouldn’t she’d wrap an arm around your waist, not like in a “she’s mine back off” type of way, but in a sweet “i love her dont steal her from me” type of way im crying 

• SHE. IS. A. TEASER. LIL. ****

• you tried cooking together, but you endend up getting too “distracted” and burning the whole thing

• “lets order pizza” “but i dont want pizza” “what do you want?” “you”

• she appreciates you and loves you so much bc if she is dating you she is 100% focused on you so she wouldnt be the annoying cheesy type, but definitely cheesy

• when she is away filming or busy with her work she sends you selfies doing funny faces, or videos at set with the cast, or a pouty selfie with a “cant wait to get home :(” that makes you melt inside who wouldnt

• PET NAMES !!! she probably calls you “love/babe/gorgeous”

• and she is your little nugget, of course

• play nights at your place with her friends (and yours) happen a little too often, because is everything you love and need: wine, charades, friends, and eachother

• PLAYING CHARADES AND SHE BEING THE ONE TO GUESS WILL BE KINDA LIKE THIS: “oh oh oh i know that one!” “pETER PAN!” “no??? mmmm aLICE IN WONDERLAND!” “what, no?” “WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN BABE?!?!?” “no wAY IT WAS F HAPPY FEET”

• but it doesnt matter is you win or lose the game at the end of the night, bc she’d wrap her arms around you and say “i win, i have you”

• i love her so so so so much okay?????? it ends right here before i start crying she is the most precius lil bean bye

tw: @softnessmalik

#camila mendes #riverdale #cw riverdale #riverdale imagines #riverdale headcanons #riverdale icons #veronica lodge #veronica lodge imagines #betty cooper #betty cooper imagine #jughead jones #betty x jughead #archie x jughead #archie x veronica #beronica #beronica imagines #lili reinhart #kj apa #cole sprouse #riverdale cast #josie and the pussycats #kevin keller #kevin x joaquin #joavin #camila mendes imagines

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] began pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 17:32 -- 

IV: ryan 

IV: actually nevermind 

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] gave up pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 17:34 -- 

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering impenetrableVitality [IV] at 17:34 --  

PT: um NO you cant just pull that shit. 

PT: once you got me youre stuck with me. 

PT: whats up finnberly???

IV: oh uh 

IV: i don't know

PT: k... 

PT: well i wanna chat anyway. 

PT: im having a pretty choice day today. :100: :ok_hand:

PT: sipping this drank of the cafe variety. :coffee:

IV: that's good 

IV: do you mean coffee

PT: yessiree. courtesy of the coffee can. i fuckin love this place.

IV: where is it though

PT: downtown on skaia. around where my usual haunts are.

IV: is that place 

IV: like 

IV: okay

PT: liiiike? safe?? is that what youre asking?

IV: yeah i guess

PT: its all good in this hood. :heart:

IV: are you by yourself

PT: yeeees. currently.

IV: are you eating anything 

IV: are you by yourself by yourself or by yourself with people around

PT: there are people around yeah. in the restaurant. 

PT: otherwise its just me and mr coffee.

IV: maybe ask a few people if they know cpr

PT: finn... baby... 

PT: im not gonna choke on my coffee.

IV: no i mean just in case

IV: it might be good

PT: in case of what?

IV: in case there's 

IV: i don't know 

IV: a cardiac emergency 

IV: do they have an aed there 

IV: maybe you should make sure they do

PT: finn... 

PT: are you alright sweetie? you seem like youre freaking out a little.

IV: i'm fine 

IV: i just think it's important that people are educated

PT: it sure is!!! but i think its fine.

IV: well it's easy to think that

IV: i just want to make sure

PT: of course. no problemo. 

PT: but hey lets talk about something else!!! 

PT: guess what happened to me last night.

IV: are you okay

PT: yes FINN. im great in fact. :blush:

IV: oh

IV: are you sure

PT: YES FINN!!!!!!!

PT: this is me trying to share GOOD news.

IV: okay tell me

PT: well. 

PT: well well WELL well WELL.

PT: me and jack are kiiiinda back together.

IV: oh

IV: wow

IV: that's great

PT: I KNOW RIGHT.

IV: is he okay

PT: shit he better be amazing cuz hes got me.

IV: you have a point

PT: I KNOW RIGHT.

IV: right

PT: in general tho he seems fine.

IV: they have an aed

PT: what??

IV: i called the place

IV: they have one

IV: in case you were wondering

PT: ... 

PT: umm okay i wasnt but... 

PT: are you sure youre alright??

IV: do you know how to use one IV: that's okay it tells you how to use one anyway

IV: it literally talks to you

PT: :confused:

PT: okay i definitely know youre not alright cuz youre ignoring me!!!!

IV: no i just need to tell you that

IV: it's by the bathroom

PT: duly noted. 

PT: finnnnn.

IV: yeah

PT: talk to me. youre acting weird.

IV: 30 chest compressions 2 rescue breaths 

IV: you can use it for a lot of things  

IV: maybe the people around you should know too

PT: I DIDNT MEAN TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT.

IV: sorry

IV: oh you have to open the airway too don't forget that

PT: mmmmmmmoh my god.

IV: does jack know

IV: i should tell him

PT: youre starting to worry me... 

PT: dont make me call colt.

IV: you don't need to call him he's fine 

IV: i'm fine 

IV: it's fine

PT: are you sure something isnt going on??

IV: i don't know

PT: tell me whats going on in your head right now.

IV: i don't know 

IV: i'm

IV: this was a mistake

IV: another one on top of another one that everybody saw coming

PT: nooo baby its fine.

PT: you fuss at me just lemme fuss at you. 

PT: its the law of equivalent friend exchange.

IV: he was right the whole time

IV: what am i doing

PT: who?? ill fight him.

IV: i'm not really different am all am i 

IV: i'm just 

IV: doing the same things

PT: :frowning2:

IV: i'll probably ruin her life and think i'm helping her but i'm not

IV: i have to go

-- impenetrableVitality [IV] gave up pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 20:36 --

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering impenetrableVitality [IV] at 20:38 --  

PT: no you dont!! hey! 

PT: finn listen. 

PT: you can talk to me alright? 

PT: if you feel like a fuck up just know youre talking to the Ultimate fuck up so im the last person who would ever judge you for whatever is going on in your head. 

PT: i wanna listen... i wanna be more helpful... 

PT: come on. please?

IV: i need to go i have to

IV: i have to stop doing this

IV: i have to stop

PT: hey hey. 

PT: it doesnt work that way alright?? 

PT: shit happens sometimes. 

PT: but it passes too... yeah? 

PT: i fucked up last night too finn. 

PT: i started drinking again... but i know for a fact it couldve wound up way worse. 

PT: and im okay! im gonna be okay even if i slipped up. you know what i mean? its the same with you.

IV: i brought an innocent life into all of my shit 

IV: i have to make sure she's safe 

IV: she's not safe with me

PT: baby youre doing a great job with her!! anybody can see that. 

PT: just because youre sick doesnt mean you gotta stop living your life. 

PT: youve got friends whove got your back... and theres nothing wrong with that. 

PT: shit i mean we were all basically raised by our parents friends along with our parents too right??? shes got the same kind of environment. i cant think of any place safer than where she is right now.

IV: i don't know 

IV: i don't want to keep hurting people

PT: i know... it sucks. 

PT: but its gonna be okay. i promise.

IV: fuck

PT: yeah let all your fucks out.

IV: i think i need help 

IV: i'm by myself right now 

IV: well me and sofia 

IV: i think i

IV: need to

IV: something i don't know

PT: well hey i can come over if you want.

IV: please

PT: okay gimme like... 45 mins or so since colts gotta live in the middle of bfe. 

PT: ill be RIGHT over. hang in there.

IV: okay the door is IV: is it locked or unlocked 

IV: i should know this 

IV: oh no

PT: i figure colt locks the door when he leaves. so just lemme in when i get there! 

PT: okay message me if you need to but im omw. 

RYAN: -pockets her device, fleeing the coffee shop and making her way to the transportalizer hub. with a quick zap she's on odimist, but the longer neck of her journey is getting a cab out to colt's place. she arrives at her estimated time... give or take a few minutes, but probably give, but of course no one can ever arrive early during emergencies. still, she's here, and she's knocking on the door while also texting finn that she's here.-

FINN: -his fingers feel numb and so do his his toes and so does his mouth in a weird way, but that's probably due to how messed up his breathing is. he's terrified he's going to drop sofia, that his arms will just give out from underneath her, so it's taking him a long time to get to the door-

RYAN: -that's fine... she can be patient... but not really. she peeps through the front window to see if she can spot him anywhere inside.-

FINN: -she can. He's mostly still other than the tiny steps he's taking and the steps he's taking backwards before he goes forward again. it makes sense in his head,  somehow-

RYAN: -frowns through the window at him. does she wait? does she try something else? she's REALLY not good at this, but dammit she's trying. she taps on the window now?? maybe that'll snap him out of it long enough to get her in there.-

FINN: -he looks up suddenly at the window tapping and has an expression of embarrassment on his face before he looks around frantically and just holds sofia closer as he goes to open the door. Finally, the door opens-

RYAN: -SUCCESS. she scurries over, looking up at him with big concerned eyes.- heeey buddy. 

RYAN: im here now.

FINN: hi 

FINN: sorry

RYAN: -flaps a hand- its all good. 

RYAN: hey sofia. -smiles a little at her and then kinda dances around finn to get inside.-

SOFIA: -stares at Ryan- 

FINN: -just looks really frazzled- i uh 

FINN: um

RYAN: -puts a hand on his back and starts rubbing in small circles.- shhh its cool. 

RYAN: maybe we should sit down??

FINN: -he takes a moment and nods before looking down at the baby again- yeah probably

RYAN: -starts guiding him to the couch.- alright alright alriiiight. 

RYAN: -plops down and plops her hand on the cushion next to her.-

FINN: -sits carefully- 

FINN: i need to wash my hands 

FINN: you need to wash your hands

RYAN: huh?? oh... because of the baby? 

RYAN: i can do that now... then we can trade off and you can go wash your hands?

FINN: do you remember how to hold her RYAN: yeah yeah of course. -gets up and scurries over to the kitchen to wash her hands in the sink, quickly returning to them.-

RYAN: okay i got this.

FINN: -he looks so worried but he carefully hands her over to ryan- you got her RYAN: i got her finn. i promise. -coos at the baby as she takes her.-

RYAN: hi again sofia. did you miss me? FINN: -watches the two of them as he leaves the room and bumps into the wall before disappearing into the kitchen to wash his hands. he returns after a few minutes.- maybe we should change 

SOFIA: -subtly wiggles- RYAN: nah... besides were all cozy here right? -snuggles sofia- we can relax. FINN: maybe we should though 

FINN: just in case 

FINN: the fabric is laced with deadly germs RYAN: -gazes at him a little bit- yeah... nah... that doesnt just happen. i think its cool. FINN: remember smallpox blankets RYAN: ... noooo?? FINN: it was a thing

RYAN: well thats cool but! pretty sure were good.

RYAN: lets talk about something else okay?

FINN: -sits back down and his fingers are digging into the couch cushion- RYAN: ...

RYAN: actually i think im gonna sing something.

RYAN: what do you wanna hear baby?

FINN: who RYAN: you. the bigger baby. FINN: oh

FINN: i don't think i have a great taste in music RYAN: okay i know youre tone deaf but you can still like music. everybody does.

RYAN: but alright leave it to me.

RYAN: just focus on listening alright? FINN: okay RYAN: -takes a breath- i know i havent been perfect but give it some time.

RYAN: cuz not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind.

RYAN: and we spend our lives looking for things we cant find.

RYAN: oh but not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind.

RYAN: all the days you spend on my mind.

RYAN: all the times that id say that well be together. well be together oh.

RYAN: all the ways you see through my heart.

RYAN: i know the good intentions they won't last forever wont last forever.

FINN: -listens to her sing and watches her, trying to focus on her voice and not anything else. it's beautiful- 

SOFIA: -YAAAAAS this is great. she gurgles-

RYAN: -smiles down at sofia.- all the hours weve spent on the line.

RYAN: all the times that youd say that i never listen i never listen

RYAN: through the conversations weve had til 4 am.

RYAN: you say you want something different want something different.

RYAN: and i know i havent been perfect but give it some time.

RYAN: cuz not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind.

RYAN: and we spend our lives looking for things we cant find.

RYAN: oh but not a single day goes by where you dont cross my mind. -looks over at finn when she's done.-

FINN: -he looks calmer now. If not just a little- that was 

FINN: really nice

RYAN: -smiles softly.- yeah i know haha. 

RYAN: thanks man.

SOFIA: aaaaa 

FINN: did you just inherit a good singing voice

RYAN: haha i mean kinda? but it takes a lot of training too.

FINN: i think i'm untrainable

RYAN: i mean... we cant ALL be fabulous singers.

FINN: that would probably get a little annoying

RYAN: yeah man. i wouldnt feel very special haha... singing is basically all im good at.

FINN: that's not true 

SOFIA: nnnnn

RYAN: -bounces sofia a little in her arms, cooing at her.- 

RYAN: well i never pass up the opportunity to hear about myself sooo tell me what else im good at. :wink:

SOFIA: -wow this is the best time of her life- 

FINN: it's a long list but okay 

FINN: good at livening up a party good at being a good friend good at doing hair and makeup good at acting good with sofia good at not giving up

RYAN: -oh... dammit. why does she ask this stuff if she doesn't want sappy sentimental answers? she laughs a little and sighs.- ... thanks finn.

FINN: you're welcome 

 FINN: it's true

RYAN: -sniff... ugh. she's been feeling an awful lot of emotions these past couple days. she didn't ASK for this. accepting genuine, heartfelt compliments is hard so she tries to just focus on one. one thing she's curious about.- 

RYAN: you think im good with sofia?

FINN: well yeah FINN: -his expression softens- you're kind of a natural FINN: she loves you

RYAN: well the feeling is mutual sofia. -grins lopsided at her.- 

RYAN: i do kinda... like kids more than i would expect if someone like me. i dunno...

SOFIA: -good bitch you better love me- 

FINN: that's why assumptions are stupid

RYAN: troo. 

RYAN: ... maybe id have fun being a mom.

FINN: you can babysit her sometime if you want

RYAN: yeah? alright. 

RYAN: just call me whenever. not like im ever busy.

FINN: come on you have to be busy sometimes

RYAN: busy being SEXY sure.

FINN: -smiles a little- entertaining jack is that time consuming huh

RYAN: PFF no way i make him entertain me. 

RYAN: i only have to rely on my sexy personality around him since he cant see shit.

FINN: oh yes makes perfect sense

RYAN: -snickers- ... you know its kind of surreal. 

RYAN: like how naturally we kinda fell into it but... 

RYAN: -sighs- were both scared too?? and thats like... a reality of the situation we arent sure how to deal with. does that make sense??

FINN: -looks off for a moment- i know exactly what you mean

RYAN: yeah... 

RYAN: i just want it to work.

RYAN: i really feel like it could if i just... knew what to do.

FINN: -he looks off- yeah 

FINN: i uh 

FINN: i get it 

FINN: i might be going through the same thing

RYAN: -glances at him- yeah?

FINN: -his cheeks redden a little bit- yeah

RYAN: :eyes:

FINN: -scratches his head nervously- yeah i 

 FINN: saw emilet again

RYAN: oh reeeeally?

FINN: -HE'S SO RED- yeah 

FINN: i did -he saw a LOT of emilet-

RYAN: heheh aww finn. always getting up to something. 

RYAN: guess this means we can flail at each other while we flounder through familiar but tumultuous waters. 

 RYAN: be my lifeboat hombre.

FINN: okay

FINN: if you'll be mine

RYAN: -smiles, soft and sincere.- of course.

FINN: -smiles a little, taking a breath- colt's not 

FINN: too happy about it 

FINN: but things are different this time

RYAN: hes a grumpy gus anyway. 

RYAN: ... a neigh sayer if you will. 

RYAN: but man whatever floobs your boobs. even if it isnt different its your decision to make you know?

FINN: -he nods- you know the person that just 

FINN: you're with them and you know they're important to you 

FINN: then you're away from them 

FINN: and then when you're back in the same room you realize they were always the most important person to you a ll along

RYAN: -she laughs a little.- shit i mean yeah. 

RYAN: except for me its more like i definitely repressed all those feelings like every day until we were in the same room together. 

RYAN: and hes looking so different but so good and its like. 

RYAN: well fuck me i guess. 

RYAN: in every sense.

FINN: -laughs a little too- been there done that

RYAN: come on finn that goes without saying. 

RYAN: youre like the sluttiest person i know. and thats coming from ME.

FINN: -just slowly shrugs and smiles-

RYAN: -SNRRRKKK- goddammit finn!! -elbows him as best she can with a baby in her arms.-

FINN: ow hey 

FINN: you're the most violent person i know

RYAN: thats right bitch. ill fuck you up.

FINN: not with her you won't

RYAN: damn... true.

SOFIA: -whines a little and scrunches up her face-

RYAN: aw sofia im not really gonna fuck him up. 

RYAN: (im just telling her that to relax her.) -snickers and bounces her a little though.- 

RYAN: you think shes tired?

SOFIA: -starts to cry. life is hard- 

FINN: that or hungry or she needs to be changed 

 FINN: that girl can eat 

FINN: que paso sofia

RYAN: oh shit. good. 

RYAN: youre a growin girl. -smiles at finn, glad he's really calmed down now.- 

RYAN: want her back?

FINN: -puts his arms out- yeah sure 

FINN: she's probably tired 

SOFIA: -she's tired and upset about it-

RYAN: bet youre tired too. -hands sofia off to him carefully.-

FINN: -takes this cute little sad baby into his arms and he feels so much better about it than he did before- yeah 

FINN: but she has to sleep first

RYAN: naturally. 

RYAN: ... can i come with you when you put her to bed? -strangely curious about this routine.-

FINN: -looks over at ryan for a moment and then smiles- sure

RYAN: cool. cool cool cool. -smiles a little back-

FINN: -stands up and shooshes sofia- follow me

RYAN: -rises to her feet, hovering closely- :eyes:

FINN: -walks into sofia's room where he flips on the light. this is such a baby room, with a lot of pastel colors and a very secure crib. there are a lot of stuffed animals in the crib, but not so much that it affects her sleeping. his first stop is the changing table, where he takes the crying baby and sets her down- don't feel obligated to watch this part

#impenetrablevitality #in which ryan helps out finn

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 13 - “Put On My Villain Attire” - Sammy

This week was a lot, I made a mistake socially that hurt someone, and i couldnt be more disgusted or hurt with myself tonight. I feel awful for what i said about nicole, after tribal i cryed like a kid on call with sammy and Caeleb. Reaching out to nicole was hard because i dont want her to think im coming to say sorry as a game move. I respect nicole as a person, as a player, and I made a mistake, and it was time for me to own up to making a personal comment in context that should not have been personal. Now getting that out of the way, this week was crazy, the vote was Tommy, then Jacob, Then nicole, cut to tribal Nicole is excused from tribal, which im thankful for because i actually got to reach out to nicole after to say sorry for my comment.  Getting a response was the last thing I expected from her. And it made me happy to get one, especially such an understanding one that came from her realizing that was not my intentions. Game wise going forward, im aware theres cracks in this alliance and im not 100% safe. But im gonna ride it till i cant no more. I don't want to think game tonight but obviously i need to keep thinking about the game. Immunity wise, i dont think its necessity that I need to win, Even after I had a blow up and such i still feel like those in the game understand how hard it was for me tonight and my truth of how i didnt mean to hurt nicole. I still feel the most close to Sammy and Caeleb, they where there for me tonight after tribal while a cried, so was Kevin and Emma, idealy these people are the people I want there with me at the end of the game. In other news, Darcy has exposed himself as someone who has voted out sammy, meaning the list of people who need to go before I need to start backstabbing gets longer Stoner, Tommy, Nicole and Darcy are IDEALLY the next 4 boots, but u never know what will happen in this game! I could be working with Nicole next round for all I know. ANYWAYS TLDR: Im sorry, me and nicole are fine, im in a good place in this game. Thank u for coming to this LONG ASS confessional. 

im dying, so its been fun toodaloo 

Actually feeling very frustrated atm. I wanted this immunity so bad. The way Nicole plays this game is very frustrating and I’d love to see the way she actually plays the real game. Is she just gonna sit under the hut and ignore everyone that approaches her. She just lies about everyone and the minute someone does something against her she cries in her host chat. I’m usually not a mean person but she deserves to be the villain of this season. I literally have always looked up to Nicole as a player bc I have seen how genuine and kind she can be. But this game has really tossed out how i viewed her as a player. As a person sure she’s great but there’s a way to play this game by having good character. I would hate to see me leave before Nicole but if it happens and she makes it to the finals that’s okay but she won’t have my vote poor management. Anyways don’t wanna make my whole confessional about Nicole since she’s made the whole game revolve around her actions already. I’d like to personally shoutout Jordan caeleb and Eve in this confessional. Truly are the rays of sunshine in this game. I have my doubts about Kevin, Emma, and Darcy because I think that they have connections to Nicole. Someone is playing everyone and it’s so frustrating. I was so close to winning this immunity. I need to survive. Also I am very annoyed that caeleb has not had to stress a single round since merge. Yeah he’s my closest ally but like it’s annoying i want someone else like me to be immune and i know it’s selfish but it’s just annoying. I need to figure this out. I might have to put on my villain attire for this round. 

IMMUNITY? IMMUNITY? I HAVE THAT? Oh my god I think this may be like the first immunity I've actually one in the history of my Tumblr Survivor career (although checking the records there was one time I was just like individually immune for no reason during Seychelles premerge and I do not remember why) I needed this SO BAD, and even better is everyone is PISSED at me for winning, nobody can figure out where I figured out all the colors and it's SOOOOOOOOO FUNNY god bless, long live the underdog bayyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 

Okay, so here goes.   To start off my confessional for this round, that past tribal really was a mess.  Nicole played a tribal skip, so she survived, which was a good play on her part, but it led to some messy scrambles, and ended up losing probably my closest friend in this game (Love you Jacob <3,)  I ended up voting in minority with Jacob to keep my word, even though I knew majority was on Jacob.   In this game though, you got to take risks, and if the risk of keeping my word to my good friend outside this game ends up being my downfall, then so be it.   However, one isn't going to win by playing it safe every round and voting with majority all the time, you got to vote in minority at times too and try to at least make some bold moves, to get out the threats, otherwise, you might as well just give them the money, as those players would all make finals, and one of them would win.  Then where would the sheep be?   They would be at the jury, alongside those who they voted out.   Now, terms of this round, Nicole and I are trying to come together to split up the power trio of Eve, Caeleb and Sammy.   Plan is to try getting out Eve, as Eve has everyone basically wrapped around their finger, which I do not like, and I think Eve has the best chance of winning this game if they make it to the end, so yea Eve has to go.   I've also been hearing though, and sounds of things, Emma is wanting me out, and her reason I think is pretty well just because I haven't been voting with her.  It's like, I have only been to 3 tribals so far with Emma (4 if you count this one,)  and I voted with her the one tribal against Karen, then other tribal was just because I wanted to be loyal to my friend, and keep my word.   The first time though, was because I found the other person more threatening to my game.   Anyways, I am fighting my all right now to stay, and not going to back down, but if I end up going, so be it, I know I played a great game, and am glad with everything about it.   Pitching to people though that I'm not threatening at all, I literally have 0 moves on my resume at the moment, and how I just want to try beating 7th, because as of currently, 7th is my best placement.   Here goes nothing, and hopefully cards fall right, and Eve gets slain.

I’m kind of feeling hopeless after this round. Nobody actually wants to make the moves that need to be made, nobody wants to do anything actually smart. People are just being so short-sighted and playing for jury. Eve has an ego and will use it to make you believe that it’s her way or the highway. I feel like any cast with more than three braincells amongst them could really do something but, they won’t. Caeleb will win immunity yet again next round. I’ll go, then one by one they’ll go. I really just like, have no energy to guide these dummies to anywhere anymore. I’m tired. Even with immunity people are just ridiculously fake and annoying. 

I think Emma is the plan for tonight. She's playing a double agent type of game which is super dangerous and people are starting to see through it plus me and her don't have the best past so I'm fine with Emma going. It gets me to the Final 10 and gets me one step closer to the Final Tribal Council. I also think once Emma goes I'll be nobodies #1 target and that'll put me in a good position for next vote as long as Nicole doesn't win immunity again. Although who knows things switch around in this game so fast and it could be me going home because if Emma gets wind of her name being out there I see her coming for me just because of our past and I do think there is viable reason for people to flip their votes onto Me, if Emma campaigns for me to go. I'm hoping my name doesn't get dragged into the conversation and it just stays between Emma, Eve, and Darcy so I have no chance of going home tonight. I'm just gonna lay low after this bit of strategy talk but be around if the wind starts to shift onto me.

Fuck I’m not home and don’t want a stike this will be a quick confessional, Sammy I’m so fucking sorry about this but you have such a good social game and I need you gone to free up the field. Formed an alliance with Darcy today that was random but now I actually trust him which is wierd. Still fucking people over with Nicole it’s crazy how that’s working. Next round is final 10 o need to make it past it or I might cry, once I pass that hurdle I’ve never heard passed I’m good. 9th- 1st no bitter Jordan pines, don’t get me wrong though, 1st is still most preferred and it’s seeming achievable

Bye bye Sammy 

Ahh I have to turn my phone off and can't find confessional but my confessional is that I hate myself for voting Sammy 

I ate dinner, We're doing Sammy. Maybe these people have four brain cells instead of three. I however, still just have the one bumping around in my ear canal saying I might have a chance to win the game which is in fact, the stupidest thought I've had this whole round.

well well well....this round is a BIG OLE MESS, so i went into it last night thinking the vote was gonna be emma because she was leaking to nicole, but then i woke up and i guess the vote is on darcy, but Nicole tried to pull a vote on eve but because emma was involved and very loose lipped I would not have felt comfortable hiding that for almost 5 hours, so i told eve LOL.... but that built my trust up with eve and I thought it would make eve doubt emma even more but instead it seems to have made her want to keep her? which maybe means emma leaked the vote already?? which would be a good thing for me because then i didnt try to hide info that eve already knew, but so then that landed the vote primarily on darcy but honestly if darcy goes home this game is likely in the bag for eve, so I had to come up with something quick ! I have no idea if this is gonna go through but i put all my energy into selling this sarah vote like it was the end all be all move for us to make, when i dont think it is but if sarah can go home then the 5some that im viewing as Sammy/Caeleb/Eve/Jordan/Sarah would be down to 4 meaning theres wiggle room at the final 10 to potentially make a power move on a big player, without them being able to stay 5 solid and threaten rocks. They all seemed kinda hesitant but came around so im nervous, eve also asked for a back up plan which I said could be stoner, but the fact that she asked makes me nervous that shes gonna try to pull a fast one and be like "I think sarah has an idol we need to flip it !!!!!" which would be annoying but i wouldn't put it past eve. This also keeps all my potential numbers in those being nicole and then tommy/darcy emma and stoner, again IF this goes through, i could've lost darcy but then i just a 5v5 or if emma gets bold then a 6v4 and im powerless again. I think this was where i need to make a move and i hope it goes through but if it doesn't at least i tried !!!

I think tonight the night ladies, TONIGHT THE NIGHT I AM RELEASED, i mean if not sarah goes home and its whatever. I love love sarah and feel bad for blindsiding her like this. But I have confidence in Kevins decision here, hes trusted me, I have to trust him now.

#zestypowerfuluniqueflavorfulhealthy #confessionals