#the fact that those are all his EX-teammates....hurts though. those were the days man

[theonewiththefanfics]

Paranoid (one-shot)

Synopsis: Loki wasn’t paranoid. I mean, that was before he met the Reader. Ever since then, all day every day he can only think of her, what she’s doing, where she’s going and what’s happening to her. All because she’s a grade A dumb ass.

Pairing: Loki x fem!Reader

Genre: fluff, maybe toiny bit of angst

Warnings: Reader has one brain cell and even that is not used, swearing, a lil bit of sad thoughts and general idiocy.

Word count: 3430

He was paranoid about her. Always. With every step he took. No exceptions. And it wasn’t how you might think. He’s not paranoid she might find someone better even though he thinks she deserves it. He’s not paranoid to have his heart broken and smashed into pieces because she carries it on velvet palms wherever she goes. No. It’s just that Y/N has quite the knack of getting hurt. And she’s been out on a mission for a month. Without any contact. So it was safe to say Loki was more than worried.

You could say he’s overreacting, but when it comes to his girl, it’s pretty much in the range. In fact, this is the calmest and collected Loki had been during the thirty-two days she was away, all because Y/N was finally coming home, and he could lay his green eyes upon her body to assess the damage.

When they had first met, Loki had had no idea what kind of a tornado he’d let in his life. Even the Black Widow had warned him about the woman before there had been any inclination something more than a friendship could bloom.

“She’s an absolute dumb-ass without a survival instinct,” Nat had said through a laugh, a beer bottle pressed against her rouged lips. “Honestly, I can only hope you two get put together on a mission just so you could see how big of an idiot she is. Bigger than Scott, and that’s saying something.”

In the meantime, Y/N was laughing away, head thrown back and eyes closed. “No,” she’d pointed at the redhead after nearly choking on her coffee as she pressed a tissue against the liquid that had dribbled down her chin. “I do have a survival instinct. I just don’t have a self-preservation instinct.” 

“And what’s the difference?” the Asgardian prince’s black eyebrow rose in question.

“When shit goes down, I do try to, you know, get out in somewhat of a single piece. It’s the before it happens that I don’t do.”

“You mean thinking?”

Y/N clapped her hands in excitement. “Exactly! I don’t do the thinking bit!”

That should’ve been his warning for what kind of chaos she’d bring to his life. 

It started off small with her inability to walk into the adjoined kitchen area without stubbing a toe or bruising the side of her hip against the countertop. Then it evolved into him noticing how Y/N didn’t press the button to release her toast when she thought it was in at prime toastiness level, instead, she grabbed a fork and full-on jammed it down there (DON’T DO THAT), not caring whether she’d get electrocuted or blow out the fuses in the facility. It escalated all the way to her getting trapped in an ex-Hydra base, and her first thought being not to use the window as an escape route, but rather line the sides of the room with explosives and bring the whole floor down while she hid underneath a table. He was genuinely surprised Y/N was still alive. 

But with the chaos also came serenity. She’d sneak into his room with glimmering eyes and a new book in hand, slipping under Loki’s cold sheets to lay against him and explain why the new piece of literature was ‘the actual shit’ and ‘if he didn’t read it right at that moment, she’d gouge his eyes out cause he didn’t deserve them.’

Obviously, they were empty threats, and as Loki rolled the before mentioned green eyes, he’d gently take the book out of her hands while Y/N quickly scurried out of the room to come back five minutes later with two teacups in hand.

Y/N would snuggle up against him and listen to how his voice expertly wove the words into the story, but one time it was different. The day on which the nature of their relationship had flipped upside down, had followed the same routine they’d been having for around three months since they’d become friends, but then not even ten minutes later he felt her wet tongue completely press against his bare shoulder. By that point, after everything she’d done, he didn’t even question it, simply turned the page.

“Did you burn your tongue on the tea, darling?”

“Noube,” she muffled out not letting her tongue off of his chilled skin.

“You know there’s another way I could cool it down.”

“Eah? Ike aht?”

“I could kiss it better.”

Instantly Y/N had peeled herself off from him and stared at the god, the pink muscle hanging out of her mouth like a dog’s on a hot summer day. Loki just stared at the wall. 

He hadn’t meant for those words to escape him; he’d actually always meant to suppress his feelings for the girl until the day the world stopped spinning. In fact, that’s what he’d been doing ever since she’d returned from a mission in East India seven months prior, battered and bruised and his heart had lifted to the heavens at the sight of her simply smiling and breathing.

Loki could hear her swallow harshly, and then she whispered, “don’t offer something you won’t go through with.”

His head snapped to look at her because the tone wasn’t the teasing lilt he’d gotten used to. This woman sitting half-covered by his black bedsheets was no longer the self-assured, confident and no-shit’s-given person he’d grown to love. This woman was looking at him with fear of rejection and yet unmistakable hope in her eyes. 

Slowly he closed the book, not even caring to mark the page he was left on and put it on the side of the bed before leaning over and without hesitation cupping Y/N’s cheeks and pressing their lips together and they sagged against one another at the euphoric feeling. 

Her hands in his hair felt like paradise as she cradled his head in an attempt to pull him closer, and she gasped when he did slip his tongue in her mouth, eagerly accepting the intrusion. But then she just had to ruin the moment by snorting in his face, though Loki couldn’t hide the smile that appeared on his own.

“What? What’s so funny?”

Y/N scrunched her nose. “Your tongue’s really cold.”

“It did the trick though, right?”

She looked like she was pondering it for a bit, and in the meantime slid her legs up so they were now wrapped around his waist. “Dunno. Might need another treatment. You know, so we’re sure it’s cured.”

He didn’t argue for even a second because Loki couldn’t believe his life at that moment. It was filled with giggles, and short breaths as they stole kisses from one another as much as possible, and soft caresses that sometimes turned into biting fingers that dug in the other’s sides whenever a teasing remark slipped past their swollen lips.

His heart flipped in his chest when Y/N threw her head back in a cackle, exposing her neck to him where he laid loving kisses. 

He’d never been more scared of a feeling.

He was terrified of how easily she’d gotten ahold of his heart.

But fuck him, if Loki didn’t love it and wouldn’t dive headfirst into it again.

Though now, when she’d finally returned home after the mission, he was kind of regretting it as Y/N was being wheeled off the Quin-jet on a gurney, one of the hands that had so tenderly braided his hair just a month ago now limp over the side of the stretcher as the other covered a hole in her side that was oozing blood.

White-hot fury blazed through his veins, as he saw the Captain step down the track and onto the landing pad, though fortunately for the blond super-soldier, the god didn’t get to him as he decided to follow Bruce and Tony who were taking Y/N to the med bay. But even knowing the love of his life was being treated by the best of the best, didn’t pacify him especially when they refused him entry into her room. 

“Loki, Loki, calm down,” Nat, who’d been on the mission with Y/N and Steve, pushed against his chest to keep the god away from busting through the door. “They won’t let anyone in until she’s been stitched up, but it’s nothing big… I mean on her scale. She just decided to be dramatic and passed out on her way back.”

He wanted to fight, he wanted to make each person that stood between them crumble underneath him, but he knew it wouldn’t do him or Y/N any good. Loki huffed, letting his shoulders drop and then pressing his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose. “How bad?”

“Umm, Marrakesh level, so, nothing too lethal.”

“By Valhalla,” Loki dragged a hand across his face. “That woman will kill me one day. Not directly, no, but I’ll have a heart attack just because of her recklessness.”

Nat snorted and crossed her arms. “I did warn you.”

“Not enough.”

“Hey, don’t blame me! You were the one that fell in love with her.”

That Loki didn’t have a comeback for, so instead, he just huffed and plopped down into one of the chairs that lined the wall outside of the med bay.

“Our lives would be quite dull without her though,” Nat said, joining the god on the chairs and releasing a restrained groan, as she shuffled into the seat. She most likely had a dislocated hip but had practically bitten Steve’s head off when he told her to go and get checked. She, just as much as Y/N’s boyfriend, needed to know their firecracker was alright.

“Yeah,” Loki sighed. “If only she had one more brain cell in that head of hers, maybe we could live in somewhat of a peace.”

Not even two minutes later, Tony threw open the doors and allowed them to enter, but by that point, everyone had heard the arrival of their teammates, and they wanted to check on them. For example, Thor wanted to see if Loki had murdered anyone yet, but as it turned out, he didn’t need to worry about that. Instead, he needed to worry about his brother’s girlfriend.

“Loki!” Y/N squealed seeing the raven-haired god come into her hospital room. “That’s ma man!” she said to Bruce, who only rolled his eyes already used to the way the woman was while coming out of it. “It’s ma Loki Loki, bo-boki, Banana-fana fo-foki, Fee-fi-mo-moki, Loki!”

She dramatically pointed at the other god standing beside him.

“Oh, and that’s his brother Thor, Thor, bo-bhor, Banana-fana fo-fohr, Fee-fi-mo-mohr, Thor!” Her hands slapped against her cheeks as she squeezed them and wiggled them up and down making her words shake. “My-y-y-y-y fa-a-a-a-a-a-ce fee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ls li-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ke cotto-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n.”

“That’s 'cause you’re high,” Tony said.

Y/N was instantly on it. It was like she was on crack and on steroids and a sugar rush while at the same time doing a hundred miles an hour. “Hello, High. I’m dad.”

Tony looked at the ceiling in despair. “That’s not how that even works.”

“Why’s she like that?” Loki asked sitting down next to Y/N on the bed, who suddenly busied herself with the reflections of the sun the golden cufflinks of his shirt sleeves threw. Especially as his face went to caress her cheek, but she grabbed his wrist in a white-knuckling grip and moved it in certain angles to create reflections on the walls. 

        The billionaire sighed. “We gave her a sedative cause when we started to stitch her up, she woke up and almost kicked Bruce in the nuts, but after a little breakdown of the situation by Steve, it turns out there was some gas involved in the mission, and I guess the combination of the two chemicals have flung her in the stratosphere.”

        That wasn’t a good word, as it turned out it was almost like Bucky’s trigger words, given how Y/N immediately screeched out, “Walking on air, living in the Stratospheeeeeeeeeeeeere!”.

        “Wow,” Nat sighed. “Mutemath would hate her.”

        Y/N stuck her tongue out at the redhead. “You’re mute math, how ‘bout that? No one likes to be name called, you bully.”

        “Yeah, okay,” the redhead chuckled as she patted Y/N’s foot. “You’ll survive. I’m gonna have a nap.” And with that she left limping on her way, Steve following so he could scold her into getting her hip put into place by a professional, not by him or Clint. 

        One by one the rest of the team did as well, knowing that they could rest with easy hearts as Y/N was safe, stitched up and sound. Well, as sound as being completely drugged up could be.

Tony checked her vitals one more time before turning to Loki, who’d refused to leave her on her own, one, because he loved her and wanted to know she was alright, two, because he didn’t trust normal Y/N to not do stupid things, let alone this version. 

“Speaking of naps,” Tony said, “if she doesn’t pass out in the next ten minutes please do your mumbo jumbo and make her. She needs rest. I’ve put in some pain meds with a sleepy side effect, so hopefully, she’ll be out like a light in no time.”

Loki sighed, as he felt Y/N rub her cheek against the silken material of his shirt. “Of course.”

With that, the billionaire left, muttering something about how her generation would be the last generation if they didn’t stop being so stupid. Not that Loki would disagree, his girlfriend being a prime example of that.

Y/N hummed Loki’s name quietly, which made him look down at the love-sick puppy dog eyes she was giving him. A gentle smile appeared on his face.

“Yeah, darling?”

“Mhm,” she hummed, snuggling against his side. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he muttered, kissing the top of her head. “Do you wanna lay down?”

She scoffed looking up at him and tried to shove him off the bed, confusion riddling his face until Y/N said, “I have a boyfriend who I love very much. I’ll cut you before I sleep with you.”

“Yeah.” Loki groaned standing up. “Alright.” Green seidr appeared to weave around his arms, and with a flick of his fingers, her eyes started to drop closed as she slid down the sheets and snuggled up in the place where Loki had been sitting.

He dragged a hand down his face and huffed, plopping his body in the armchair which was in the room deciding to sleep for a bit until Y/N woke up. Although he was a god and didn’t need as much rest as mortal people did, he’d sure as Hel need all the energy he could gather because once his girlfriend was awake it’d be chaos all over. 

Loki didn’t get much rest though when a light touch on his shoulder disturbed him from his sleep.

Slowly his eyes fluttered open, mouth stretching in a smile as Y/N’s face looked down on him with a happy expression. 

        “Hey there, sleepyhead.”

        “Hello, dove,” he muttered, kissing the inside of her palm. “You up?”

        She nodded, whispering, “Yeah. But do you think you could help me with all these wires? I wanna go to our room.”

        Her words were what hit him, making Loki jump up, realising Y/N was out of the bed when she was supposed to be resting.

        Gingerly, despite all the protests from her mouth, he took her under the legs and put her back in the hospital bed. 

        “But – “

        “I will tie you down here if you try to step out again.” His voice was deep and filled with a threat he fully intended to fulfil, but Y/N in her Y/N fashion just wiggled her eyebrows and Loki handed a carton of juice and stabbed the top with a straw.

        “Kinky. I like it. But let’s leave it for our own private time.”

        Pinching the bridge of his nose had become a motion Loki was now all too familiar with. Not even after all the time, he’d put up Thor’s bullshit had he had to do that. He was quite certain his fingers had left indents on his skin. 

“What happened on the mission?” he asked, placing a pudding cup and a spoon on the nightstand.

“Dude came out of nowhere,” Y/N said sipping on her apple juice. “Like he just appeared behind me and stabbed me in the side. Talk about rude, right.”

“You need to be more careful.”

Y/N raised her eyebrow. “I am careful. ‘S not like I go out to get stabbed on purpose.”

But Loki’s tone had lost all lightness, as she exasperated. “No, I need you to be more careful.”

“I am. I –“ but she didn’t get a chance to finish as Loki racked a frustrated hand through his hair, snapping at her. “No, you’re the most reckless person I’ve ever met and you think getting stabbed and inhaling chemicals is not a big deal, but it is, and I can’t do this anymore… I can’t lose you.”

And although it was said with anger and frustration, Y/N could see the underlying pain and fear. His family had all but abandoned him, and we’re not talking about his biological one. All he had left was Thor, and Loki would never admit it out loud, he dreaded the day his brother would disappear from his life.

“Loki.” She took one of his hands and pressed a kiss to his cold knuckles. “You could never lose me.”

A bitter chuckle settled between them as he looked up at her. “But I could. You’re so carefree and fluttery while doing things that could kill you, it scares me half to death.”

“I know,” she whispered. “But I have to.”

Loki’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

“Because if I don’t all the darkness will just settle on me, and I’ll never be able to get out of it.”

Loki squeezed her hand in encouragement, and after taking a deep breath Y/N elaborated. “I try to ease myself with the thought that I’m saving people, and helping humanity, but at the end of the day, I’m still taking lives. It’s not like they, you know, the bad guys’ think they’re the bad guys. They’re not doing it because they think they’re evil. They’re fighting for what they think is right. That doesn’t mean it is, but we’re all villains in someone else’s stories, and if I start thinking of it, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.” A shuddery exhale left her lips, and this time it was Loki taking a hold of her hand. “I need to let myself be a bit crazy. Because if I don’t, I don’t know how I’ll go on. I promise I don’t do it because of some wish to get killed in the process. It’s just that… it makes it easier to look at the world, to not think for a moment about the bad.”

“Can you just promise me something?” Loki’s tone was soft as a feather’s touch as he sighed, understanding where she was coming from. More than once his own dark thoughts tended to overcome him, but in his world, it was Y/N who brought in the light to dissipate them. He hadn’t gotten to the point where he could do it himself, so he supposed he had to at least be happy she’d found a way to fight them off herself, even if it made him fear for her.

Y/N nodded. “Anything.”

“Just – just try to think before you do anything.”

That set both of them off into a fit of giggles as she raised their clasped hands and pressed a kiss to his cold one. “I can try.”

“Promise.”

“I promise to try. Though, I’d say don’t get disillusioned. I’m still the same crazy person you met before.”

A soft smile graced Loki’s, face and he brought Y/N’s hand to his lips where he pressed a kiss to her warm skin. “Wouldn’t want it any other way. Though, as much as I doubt, you’ll heed my request, you could do one thing for me?”

“And what’s that?”

 “Stop jamming forks in the toaster.”

“Absolutely not!” she scoffed. “How else am I supposed to get the bread out?”

“You wait for it to be done!”

“It takes too fucking long!”

Although Loki would fight tooth and nail to somehow keep Y/N safe and would use everything in his arsenal to make sure she took care of herself, he’d never change her even if it made him paranoid.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64​ @supernaturalbaesduh​ @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl​ @sea040561​ @staryeyedgirl​ @deathbyarabbit​ @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91​ @dalilx​ @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns​ @averyrogers83​ @in-the-end-im-still-trash​ @gallifreyansass​ @dewy-biitch​ @avxgers​ @unlikelygalaxygiver​ @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​

Marvel tags: @nerissa98​ @happyseagrill​ @asguardiansoftheavengers​ @crazybutconfidentaf​ @wishingforahome​ @pizzarollpatrol​ @desir-ae​

Hiddles/Loki tags: @marvels-queen-bee @julierousing98 @maggiesimps @horrorx570ximagines​ @luluthegreatandterrible​ @bambamwolf87​ @drakesfiance​ @artbysteph87 @beets1bears1battlestargalactica

A/N: I hope everyone’s staying home and is alright during these crazy times.

I’m back writing for ma boy Loki (I had a dream about that Loki - Tom Hiddles look-alike that is on TikTok that we were cuddling, so I’m on a Loki and Tom lovin’ wave)

P.S. my tags are always open :)

P.S.S. what did ya think?

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddlestone smut #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddlestone angst #tom hiddlestone imagine #tom hiddlestone x reader #tom hiddleston x y/n #tom hiddleston imagine #loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki smut #loki x reader #loki imagine #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki angst #loki fluff #tom hiddleston angst #tom hiddleston fulff #imagine marvel #marvel imagine #marvel #Marvel Studios #marvel endgame #thor: ragnarok

[zellerysworld]

『 Comfort 』

Sukuna x F!Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Tags: Fluff???, Established Relationship, Angst, Mentions of death, self hate, and abuse, slightly insane reader, slightly soft Sukuna

A/N: Readers abilities are touching people to make them sleep, transfer memories, and see past (for those with DID, talk to the souls within the persons mind). She serves as a informant by going inside victims heads to look in their pasts for curses that were around them; informing her teammates of location and grade level. She can also gain powers from whomever she touches for a short period of time.

Ex: Sukuna can give Malevolent Shrine to her for battle, but after one use/within five minutes, it vanishes. If she uses powers that are harsh on her body, (domain expansions or strong cursed manipulation) she faints/gets nose bleeds.

Your feet dragged against the brutally cold floors of the first-year dormitories at Jujutsu Tech. Everything around you was dark, dim light being provided by the full moons reflection through the windows. The corridor felt like a never-ending strip as you silently sobbed under your h/c locks.

Today was… hard. Usually, you can handle the painful endeavors of reaching into the depths of stranger’s minds, but today was different. Todays victim was a young boy, not even a teen, who was abused by his own parents. When you grazed his swollen cheeks as he lied motionless on the floor, the fear he felt as his mother raised a hand to him engulfed your body. Then and there on the scene, you began to cry uncontrollably.

Doing the same thing every day, seeing the same pain in people’s memories, reliving all of their fears within seconds- it was beginning to rip your soul apart piece by piece. At first, it was manageable. However, over the past year of being at this damned jujutsu school, all you seem to feel is excruciating aches in both body and soul.

Recalling the child’s memories, you fell against the wall of the corridor while burying your tearstained face into the same shaking, gloved hands that touched him. Gojo Satoru picked you to be a student because of your “Stability”, yet you were turning into the opposite. The way you viewed death and the nature of It was what impressed Gojo and everyone around you the most, though you have never seen yourself as impressive. All you do is touch people and relay information, nothing too complicated, right?

A door creaked open after your fall emitted a loud thud in the room behind you. When you lifted your head to apologize, you noticed it was none other than Yuji Itadori- Sukuna’s vessel in other words. The young sorcerers’ eyes widened at seeing you in such a distraught state, hastily running over to you. Yuji scanned your body for wounds but was only able to find a pair of empty eyes. “Y/n? Are you alright? C’mon, lets get you to your room.” He scooped you into his arms, carrying you as a mother does with her sleeping child.

Yuji opened the door, gently placing you onto the silk sheets of the rooms bed as you silently cursed yourself for being so weak. The expression you bared made him pained, so he attempted to make you comfortable by taking your shoes off. After doing so, he sat to side of the bed. He held your shielded hand into his bare ones before recommending, “How about talking to Sukuna?”

Your voided eyes closed as you slouched into the headboard. Sukuna would be disappointed to see you in such a state, him possibly refusing to secretly work with you anymore if he saw this mess. Or even worse, he’d stop loving you. From that thought, your mind continued to spiral.

While stuck in your self-pity, Yuji was removing a glove from your hand. “Gojo makes you talk to Sukuna for information, but I know you enjoy talking to each other. He thinks about you a lot.”

Hearing Yuji’s words made your eyelids flash open like lightning as he removed the glove completely. Gojo assigned you to become an informant for him by touching Yuji to go into Sukuna’s domain, however that plan backfired. Overtime, you began to tell Gojo you couldn’t get anything from him, while secretly falling for and scheming with Sukuna. There was a pact made between the two of you: In exchange for touching Yuji to temporarily gain sukuna’s abilities, you must kill with those powers.

You grew to hate violence over the years; having seen multiple forms of it through people’s memories. But you made an exception, being that violence should be used against those who use violence with malicious intent. Although it is a bit of a hypocritical way to think.

When going out with Yuji and others, you take advantage of the surroundings by stalking your next prey. You do this by “accidentally” bumping into people on the streets and reading their memories to search for any abusers, cheaters, or murderers. Although you were technically a killer too, you knew one day you’d have to pay for your sins. Lately, that day seems to be snaking its way closer to you.

“Y/n?” Yuji questioned with a slight tilt of his head; his voice snapping you from your train of thought. Raising the hand he ungloved, the fingertip of your index finger tapped against his forehead. With the tap, his body relaxed before falling into a deep state of sleep. His head fell onto your lap, giving a perfect opening to use your ability. You took the smooth palm of your bare hand, and cupped Yuji’s jawline. This was how you opened communication into someone’s memories, or in this case, into someone’s personalities.

Although you were nervous to see what sukuna would think of you in such a ruined state, Yuji’s words made you feel relaxed. Sukuna was your partner after all, he should be able to see you like this. But then again, he was the king of curses, not just some human guy you picked up on a dating website. In the end though, your want of Sukuna’s comfort overlaps your fear.

Your eyelids shut, then reopened in a different place. It was still nighttime at this location, but it was not the physical world that humans are used to- even if it felt like it was. A vast plateau of flowers swayed in the man-made dream you were in. Constellations of multiple forms helped the moon light up the colorful night sky. The cool air caused you to slightly shiver as it brushed through the grass.

“Why did you bring me here, brat? I was sleepin’ on my throne.”

Sukuna’s rugged voice didn’t seem to faze you as you gazed upwards to the moon. Instead, it oddly comforted you. Although most are terrified of his presence alone, it did not budge your already cracking mind in any shape or form. It slightly annoyed Sukuna that he couldn’t scare you, but it felt comfort in knowing that there is at least one person in this world who doesn’t flinch at the sound of his name.

When you didn’t respond to his question, he lifted a brow in confusion. The robed man slowly stepped through the tall grass, his hands staying in his pockets of course. “Hey,” he started as his warm palm gripped your right shoulder, “Answer me.” His tone became serious, but if you squint, you can see the worry in it. The sound of your silence was so damn loud.

Sukuna jerked your shoulder, revealing your heartbroken expression to his red pupils. You leaned your head downwards, feeling embarrassed that he had to see you like this, but who else could you have gone to? “Yu-Yuji told me y-ou,” you hickuped while trying to speek, trying to hold back your tears from him, “He t-told me you… think about me.” Your tears looked like melting diamonds as they fell from under your locks and into the moonlight.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3qrKjywjo7Q

(For those that want to feel the moment.)

He didn’t know what to feel, nor what to do, until you muttered out, “I’m sorry…”

In that moment, you felt your knees go weak. Your legs gave out, making you fall into the grass. Sukuna quickly grabbed your waist, falling into the grass with you as your cushion. He nuzzled his tattooed face against your puffy cheeks while whispering, “Show me what happened.”

You lifted a hand, cupping his jawline to open communication into his nervous system. Through the line, you showed him the memories you saw and how they hurt you. Sukuna couldn’t have been less fazed, seeing as he is the king of curses and was a mass murderer. But when he saw the expression you made when ripping your hand away from the boy, his spirit felt like a nail went through the center of it.

He sighed, moving loose hairs from your forehead so he could have a full look at your bloodshot eyes. Your e/c orbs told him how drained you were beginning to feel from the mortal world. He cooed, “I wish I wasn’t trapped in this brat. I would destroy the entire world for you, Y/n… You wouldn’t have to deal with any shitty pains like this.”

Sukuna hated everyone, except you. As the saying goes, Heroes would sacrifice you for the world, while villains would sacrifice the world for you. He enjoys telling himself the lie of “Y/n got on my good side”, but Sukuna always knew the truth of why he couldn’t help but care for you so much: You changed him. Out of billions of people just on this planet alone, you were the one to take his heart, mind, and philosophy and then mold it.

Killing was killing to Sukuna, and that’s all there was to it. But he found his goals shifting when he meant you. The insanity that filled your eyes as you’d hold a fresh blade against the neck of your enemies. Human or curse, it didn’t matter to you. Bad was bad, good was good; things were black and white to you as they were to him, but in a different manner. Your bravery was another factor to his care for you. The fact that you went unarmed into Yuji’s mind after he ate the finger just to get a view of Sukuna’s throne without any care for consequences was such a curious thing to him.

You both saw things the same way, yet not. The complexity of your careless philosophy was something to applaud in his eyes. But as you lay in your despair, Sukuna is grimly reminded you are still a human that must endure the torture that is a fleeting life. He wanted you to be a curse like him, enjoying the comfort of eternity in a paradise he could build for just the two of you.

But in the end, you were just a human. And although it sounds like something he is absolutely disgusted by, it’s not. If anything, the fact you are just a human girl catches him off guard even more. A human girl managed to move a god’s heart. A human girl somehow has the power to see people’s pain and was never moved until many years later. Sukuna didn’t know if he should have been happy or terrified to find someone like you.

His thoughts were cut off by the sound of your silent sobs, making him close his eyes in uneasiness. It took him a few minutes, but he soon realized what he could do to relieve your pains. He saw what you saw and felt what you felt, therefore he knew just how helpless and weak you were feeling. To him, you werent weak at all, and he needs you to see that.

“Y/n.”

Your crystalized eyes looked to his blood-colored ones.

“Let me show you what I see.” His voice was soft, yet still had a rugged tone to it.

He pulled you upwards, making you sit up across from him while waving grass continued to surround the two of you. Leaning into you, his forehead leaned on yours as you snaked a hand across his palm, entangling your wrist with his fingers. The hand you were snaking tightly gripped at your forearm before you gripped onto his. Using this technique is a more intimate way of opening a line of communication. Both of your eyes closed to open it completely.

In Sukuna’s memories, you view things how he views them and see things through his mindset. It felt like a wave of ease flow throughout your body as you became comforted in the way he sees you. Most of the moments you saw were when you would smile, fight, or annoy Sukuna in general. Which, by the way, you were the only person who could ever taunt Sukuna and live to see the sun rise.

When your eyes fluttered open, he felt your lashes against his skin. This prompted him to open his eyes as well, and he found a pleasant surprise upon opening them. “What?” You questioned with a hint of sass, feeling your tears dry as your aching mind became soothed. Sukuna smirked, enjoying seeing a temporary tint of red over your normally e/c orbs.

Usually, your eyes don’t change colors after a connection, so it struck him as pleasant while it lasted, “Nothing, you are just a giant ass baby.”

“Oh shut the fuck up. You are the same person who got mad and came out when I ate a croissant that was meant for yuji!”

“I can taste whatever this brat eats, you realize that right? Those butter ones are tasty…”

Your eyes reverted back to their normal state as you bickered with your partner in the moonlight lit field. While back in the physical world, Yuji was snoring away on your bed in a very unflattering position. Although you don’t get to see Sukuna in the physical world, you still find comfort in feeling his soul In the spiritual world.

⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈⥈

My request are open. <3

Edit: on my god thank you guys to much. ❤️❤️ I’m getting so many requests! I’ll start working on them when I get home from work today. They will be posted within 2-3 days because these requests are actually pretty good ones that are really long 😂. But my requests are still open so don’t be afraid to submit something!

#anime #jjk sukuna ryomen #jjk ryomen sukuna #jjk #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu kaisen #Sukuna #sukuna x you #sukuna x reader #yuji #yuji itadori #fanficton #romance

[devilyn]

drunken honesty | tsukishima kei

— alexa, play: us by keshi.

maybe we’ve been

a little too guarded

from things that have hurt us

a bit more than we thought

— synopsis: drinking always made you more honest, which is how you ended up calling someone you shouldn’t have in the bathroom in the middle of a house party.

— genre: angst, happy ending (yay)

— word count: 1.9k

“Did you drink again?”

You wanted to lie to him. But you knew he would find you out right away no matter what. So you laughed weakly, the bass pounding against the bathroom door as if trying to force its way into your inebriated brain.

“You went to another party, and just expected me to pick you up after you got drunk again?”

His straightforward tone was always so cruel. It was one of the many reasons the two of you ended up breaking up. Even now, through the drunken haze that the many alcoholic drinks put onto your consciousness, he knew just how to hurt your feelings.

“I’m sorry, Kei,” you croaked out.

“You say that everytime,” he spit out like venom, as if the words hurt him too. “When will you learn to stop all of this?”

You bit back tears. The beat-up soles of your sneakers pressed firmly against the sticky bathroom floor as if they were the only thing keeping you grounded. You forgot why you called him in the first place. You couldn’t even remember why you had ended up at this party. It must’ve been Kuroo who dragged you along again, claiming that you needed to stop moping in your bedroom all the time. When in reality, he probably knew of your terrible drunken habit that was calling your ex-boyfriend.

“Drunk calling me isn’t going to get my attention the way you want it to,” he continued, your silence not stopping him. He was frustrated, you could hear it in his voice. “And it’s sure as hell not going to get us back together.”

“Come pick me up, Kei,” you finally pleaded. “I wanna go home.”

You heard him curse a few times, then the sound of his chair skidding back against the hardwood floor, and then keys jingling.

“You’re a fucking nuisance,” he grumbled, and despite the sting in your heart, you smiled.

“I love you,” you whispered, and you could picture him furrowing his brows and pushing his glasses back up against the bridge of his nose.

“I love you,” you repeated.

“I’ll be there in 15 minutes, so you better be outside or I’m leaving without you.”

“Bye.”

The sound of him hanging up beeped through your handphone, and you closed your eyes.

“I love you,” you murmured again to a man who could no longer hear you.

Maybe, deep down, this was your plan. You could only be honest with him when you were drunk, which is why you ultimately agreed to Kuroo’s invitation. In reality, you could’ve asked Kuroo to get you a ride back to your dorm building, but you unconsciously called Tsukishima instead. It’s not like Kuroo didn’t know that either. That must’ve been why he poured you so many shots even before the party started.

You jumped as the pounding on the door grew louder. Only then, did you realize it wasn’t the music, but another party patron who was begging to be let in or else they’d pee their pants. Quickly, you fumbled with the door handle and wrenched it open. Sheepishly, you smiled at the group of girls who forced their way past you into the tiny bathroom.

In less than 10 minutes, you managed to track down Kuroo and yell over the loud music that your ex would be picking you up. If you weren’t drunk, you might have noticed the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, but instead, you gave him a tight hug and bid your close friend goodbye.

This meant you only had to wait 5 minutes in the freezing cold for Tsukki to arrive. You stumbled over your feet a bit as you squat down to sit on the edge of the sidewalk, but ultimately managed to accomplish your goal safely.

Your breath came out in white smoke, and despite how cold it must’ve been, you couldn’t feel it over the heat that alcohol always brought to your skin. Your vision blurred, and you closed your eyes to force back the tears pricking at your eyelids.

Just a few years back, you had asked Tsukki out in this same cold. It took you three days to process the fact that he had accepted your confession, and that the two of you were then going out. Aside from the occasional teasing from his volleyball teammates, things were smooth sailing. Tsukki was a surprisingly sweet boyfriend behind his tough exterior, though he never let up on the brutally honest side of him that made him who he was. You never minded it--it was a part of him, after all. 

When did it all go wrong? Did university truly pull you two apart like everyone said it would? You had hoped that his friends would be right when they said you two would make it--that your relationship was strong enough to survive anything. But all it really took was a few glares, one or two missed dates, and a couple sharp insults under his breath, and you gave in.

It didn’t mean you loved him any less. But there were nights after the break up where you’d lay down and stare up at your ceiling, wondering why you gave so much of yourself to someone who, towards the end, never seemed to give you the same amount back.

“What? Now you’re going to catch a cold and call me over too?”

His voice used to be warm when addressing you, but was now as cold as it was to those he thought were a bother. It made sense. You were merely a bother to him now, after all.

“Kei,” you murmured, eyes still closed as he tossed what you assumed to be a jacket into your lap. “Why did you never let me in?”

A question you always wanted to ask him, but never had the courage to until you were drunk enough. The inquiry silenced him. It seemed he couldn’t even come up with an insulting jab in response to that. Instead, he grabbed your arm to pull you up off of the cold concrete, forcing the jacket around your trembling shoulders.

“I did,” he answered simply, and you could almost feel his sharp eyes narrow as you snorted. “I let you into my apartment multiple times.”

“You’re really cute when you act stupid,” you giggled, eyes fluttering open to look up at him. “Let’s stop playing around. Do you know why I broke up with you?”

“I never asked,” he responded snarkily under his breath, his hands steadying your form to make sure you didn’t trip over your own feet. You absentmindedly watched him pull the passenger side door open and help you inside the warm vehicle.

“It felt like you didn’t love me,” you told him anyway. “And you didn’t say anything when I suggested we break up, so I thought it was what you must’ve been waiting for all along.”

He was silent. With a sigh, he buckled your seatbelt before slamming the door shut and making his way over to the driver’s side.

“I realized, you know. That you never told me you loved me. Not once,” you continued when he was settled into his seat, the door closed behind him. His phone was hooked up to the car stereo, playing music quietly. But you knew he could hear you, even if some of your words were slurred. “I knew that you showed it in different ways. Like how you never missed my birthday even if I never brought it up, and how you’d ask us to eat together because you knew around what time of the day I’d get hungry.”

You turned to look at your ex, the tears finally streaming down your cheeks. He had his gaze focused on the road in front of him, hands clenched around the wheel despite having not released the parking break yet.

“But what am I supposed to do, Kei? What am I supposed to do when I don’t see those signs anymore?”

Were you still drunk? You didn’t know anymore. Maybe your body was forcing you to still be drunk so you could continue honestly telling him your thoughts. In reality, you suddenly felt very sober, especially as the sorrow built up in your throat.

"You just stopped one day. Stopped texting me what I wanted to eat for dinner, stopped remembering dates, stopped helping me study for exams," your voice trembled. "And you started ignoring me or genuinely insulting me."

You placed the heel of your palms against your eyes in an attempt to stop your tears. 

“I love you so much,” you breathed out between soft cries. “So what am I supposed to do when you don’t feel the same?”

Tsukki was silent as he put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb. His eyes never left the road, though you could see on his face that he was troubled.

You slid further down into your seat as if trying to make yourself seem as small as possible. You placed a palm over your mouth to hide your sobs, closing your eyes again, as if that would stop your endless crying.

Fifteen minutes must’ve passed. He had waited for you to stop crying before he spoke.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the sound barely audible over the softly playing music.

You didn’t respond, burying yourself into his jacket.

“I’m really sorry,” he repeated. “For how I acted. For making you think I didn’t love you. For everything.”

His voice cracked as he spoke, and you could hear him curse quietly again, as if angry at himself for showing weakness.

“You know me,” his voice continued to quiver, “I’m a prideful prick. I never wanted to look weak in front of you, so I shut you out when things started getting tough. Volleyball and school got to me when I was frustrated, and I ignored you because of it, when I should’ve just told you honestly. I let you break up with me because I didn’t want to beg for you to come back, even if that’s what I really wanted to do deep down. I took my anger out on you when you drunk called me, because I was upset you kept coming back to me even though you broke up with me.”

You rubbed at your wet cheeks as his hand came over to rest hesitantly on your thigh.

“I love you,” the car rolled to a stop in front of your dorm building. “And I’m sorry it took this long for me to say it.”

He finally turned to look at you, and you could feel yourself tearing up again. His brown eyes reflected your sorrow, and you fumbled to unbuckle your seatbelt so you could throw your arms around his shoulders.

“You’re so stupid,” you cried, “A stupid idiot. I hate you.”

“I think I deserve that,” he laughed weakly as your arms tightened around him, hugging yourself as close to him as you could despite the awkward positioning.

“Next time, can we please just talk to each other?” You buried your face into the crook of his neck as his arms came around you to rub gently at your back.

“Yeah,” his tone was warm again, and it melted away any inebriation that may have still been in your system. “Let’s do that. Without the alcohol this time."

He pulled back to rest his forehead against yours, gazing into your teary eyes and snickering when he spotted your pout.

“Should I take us back to my apartment? I think there’s a lot we should catch up on.”

Your pout twitched up into a smile you could no longer hold back. “Mm. Let’s go home.”

#tsukishima kei #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei angst #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima imagine #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima kei scenarios #tsukishima kei imagine #tsukki

[caxsthetic]

Not Fine

Miya Osamu x F!Reader

Hurtful Truth: Not everyone was given the chance to have someone that they loved. And sometimes, we could only think about what could have been.

Pt. 2 ⇚ Part 3 ⇛ Ep.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. GRAND MASTERLIST .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"All your services are brutal today, Atsumu."

The setter's grip on his water bottle tightened when his upperclassmen — now fellow teammates on Japan National Team — stated his well being all over again. He didn't answer, nor was he willing to explain why he looked like he was ready to kill anyone on sight.

Though, the wing spiker knew. Ojiro didn't have to hear anything from the blonde setter. The news about the Onigiri Miya scandal was all over the nation after all. The drama that no one ever thought would occur, knowing how much the owner and the woman behind the company loved each other.

But sometimes, this life was not all about fairy tales and happy endings. Not everyone had the privilege to have the love that they wanted. Not everyone could have someone they love to be their lifetime partner. And Atsumu, he knew that fact for a long time, ever since the first moment he laid his eyes on you.

"My sister will join us at today's practice." The middle blocker said after munching on his lunch. "Hope you guys would be okay with that."

Atsumu groaned, hating the fact that there would be some kind of distraction. He didn't care less though, knowing he would not even spare a glance. But a new face at practice only meant that everyone would swarm them, like a toy that everyone wanted to have. Especially since they were related to the members of the club, that made everything worse.

"Does she really have to?" Rintarou rolled his eyes a little when the setter parted his lips. Not because of the question, but more like how the question was being thrown.

"My parents are going to be home late. They will kill me if she's all alone in the house." Though the brunette just answered a matter of factly, knowing for certain if he answered with the same tone, all hell broke loose.

"Tch. Is she just like another squealing pig or something? Can't she take care of herself?"

"Sumu,"

"No, Samu. For real, do all girls really can't defend themselves? Why is she being treated so highly you can't make her stay at home all alone?" The commotion was not necessary, but he just couldn't help it when someone had the potential to wreck the practice.

"It's all about being a great sibling, Sumu." The opposite wing spiker answered with his usual flat intonation. "Something that you really lacked off, ya know?"

"Hah?! What does that mean?!" Atsumu really wanted to throw some pickles at his twin. But somehow he could imagine the silver-haired man opening up his mouth to catch the food instead, so he chose to stay silent and grumbled under his breath.

He played with his food, poking the vegetables as he had a big pout plastered on his face. "What is she anyway? A princess or something?"

But by God, you were more than just a princess.

The second you walked inside the gymnasium beside your brother, his jaw dropped as he felt like he was blessed by the deity. You were not like any other girls that were usually so timid and acting all shy — no, not like that.

You had your chin up, throwing your soft smile to anyone that met your gaze. So confident, as if it was the thousand times you were already meeting the whole team. Rintarou didn't even need to introduce you, you already talked to everyone like an old friend.

Something about you just made him feel warm. Atsumu didn't know you, he didn't even bother to ask the brunette middle blocker for your name. But he swore even though you were just standing there, eyes still focused on anyone else, he could feel his heart singing.

A genuine smile emerged on his face, the smile that only appeared when he looked at some cool volleyball technique or a row of fatty tuna at the convenience store.

"Hey, Samu." He called out to his twin brother as his brown orbs still planted on your figure. "At this moment, I claim Sunarin's sister as mine!" He expected to hear any remark, or maybe a volleyball being thrown towards his face.

But there was only silence. The setter was sure that his twin was standing right beside him, so why didn't he get any answer — oh. Oh, that's why. When he turned his face to look at the silver-haired man, he really wished he didn't.

The grey orbs that usually so dimmed, that didn't even spark that much when they were on the court, were now shone so bright with adoration and amazement. Atsumu followed where the gaze fell, what could possibly have made his twin brother have such intense expressions.

And he could feel his shoulder slumped when he realised that his twin was looking at the same person that he saw before. Why of all things in this world, they just had to have the exact interest towards one person. Not fair, he wanted to say that he was the one who looked at you first, he wanted to punch his brother's arms and told him that you would be his.

"Didja say something, Sumu?"

But right now as his twin brother finally composed himself and turned around to face him, Atsumu just realised how the love that he had for his twin brother was a little bit too much for his own good.

"Nah. Just some dumb things."

Guess happily ever after really existed only in the children's books.

"You have been scrolling through your phone for the last couple of minutes." The blonde setter didn't give any kind of response as he just drilled his eyes to the small screen. Knowing that he wouldn't receive anything, the stoic ex-captain of Inarizaki VBC decided to just sit beside the melancholic male, taking the empty stool.

It was not really like Atsumu at all, to seclude himself while everyone was either on the dance floor or bantering together — since it had been so long for the rest of the team to be in the same place. Though, Kita couldn't blame him from wanting to get away from here.

"You do understand that one day you have to make peace with Osamu, right?"

Just the mention of his twin was enough to make his blood boil. He gritted his teeth, scoffing at the idea of him to be on the same page with the businessman like before. As if he could see his twin brother without disgust, as if he could see his twin brother with the same fondness.

No, Miya Osamu didn't have the liberty to be considered as his brother the second he decided to cheat on you.

From the very first moment he saw you, Atsumu never thought that he wanted to have someone in his life as much as when he met you. Your sweet smile, supportive nature, so good and just felt so right even as time went by.

Though he never dared to say anything, not because he was a coward and afraid of rejection, it was not that. But because he knew too well that his twin brother used to look at you the same way he commits. What sickening was when he realised he still gazed at you like a fool in love while the younger twin didn't anymore.

And he wished, he really wished that he never let Osamu have a taste of your love since the beginning.

"Tch. Like hell I am willing to do that." Atsumu locked his phone and threw it mindlessly to the bar. "I am sorry, Kita-san. But you of all people should have known why I act like this." He clenched and unclenched his fist to calm himself down, to erase the little tremor that he felt.

The brown orbs that belonged to the setter now sent a dagger to the laughing man that was swarmed by a lot of people. How could his twin have such a joyous smile on his face after everything that he had done? How could someone act so free as if he didn't just tear someone else's life?

Osamu was blessed to have such a wonderful woman that never turned her back on him. When his twin called him that one particular day, saying that you said yes to his wedding proposal — Atsumu realised that he had lost the promise that he made at one of their fights.

"When we are in our deathbeds, I am gonna turn and look you right in your face! And say I had a happier life!"

He scoffed the second he hung up the call. His twin had won, there was nothing that could make him happier than to have you in his life, cheering at him on every match that he had. You were there though, on most of the tournaments that were held, being such a supportive sister-in-law.

You always sat on the VIP bleachers, the one that was located at the side of the court. When you were there to support him, you went all out, wearing his volleyball club's merchandise as if you were paid with how you looked like you were drowned by all of those items. And by all means, he wanted to run up to you after a service ace, he wanted to cup your cheek and smash his lips to yours.

Yet he knew that it was just a mindless dream. For years he buried his feelings that never wanted to leave. He was there to be the best wingman that he could ever be for his twin brother, he made sure that no one captured your heart except for Osamu — and of course himself.

Yet right now as he looked at how Osamu had his arms wrapped around Rintarou instead of you, he wished he never helped his brother to get your heart in the first place.

He couldn't, he couldn't do this anymore.

Atsumu grabbed his jacket and car keys, rushing out from the club that smelled nothing but sweat and alcohol. He used to enjoy it, to have fun and get wasted with his brother. But now a glimpse of the twin and he wanted to spit on his face.

His upperclassmen didn't even bother to stop him, knowing that if he tried to make him stay, it would only result in a fight. The setter didn't care how his brother called out to him, he didn't even turn his head as he walked through all the strangers that were invited here.

"Sumu!"

He sped up his pace, slipping through the swarm of people as he didn't want his twin brother to catch up on him. "Hoi, Sumu!"

Atsumu could finally feel the fresh air when he barged through the door. The night air was cold, but it was a lot more refreshing than the packed space inside. He stopped for a second, to gather his breath before continuing his pace to the car.

But then he tensed up when he heard someone else walking outside, following him. Something about a bond between a twin brother, was how they could feel each other's presence within some range. A scowl immediately appeared on his face as he could hear his twin panted behind him.

"Why the fuck you followed me?" His voice was flat, but from how he chose the words was enough to make Osamu know how much his older brother despised him. "I don't want to see you, go back to your — fuck, to that whore!"

Osamu snapped when the blonde setter insulted his fiancé. He couldn't control it as his body moved on its own, fist making contact to the back of his brother's head. It was as if there was a fire blinding him, what fire? He didn't even know as he continued to plant his fist to his doppelganger.

"Take that back, Sumu!" He was so enraged as he forcefully turned his brother's head to face him, hand gripping on the collar. "Don't you bring my fiancé's name like that! Rintarou didn't have any fault—"

"Didn't have any fault?!" Atsumu spit on his twin brother's face, making the black-haired man drop him to the ground. "You fucking cheat on (Y/n), and he agreed! The two of you fuck around on the goddamn house that you shared with her! He did it willingly, Samu!"

The parking lot was quiet, as everyone was currently inside and enjoying their night. Oblivious of what happened just outside the club. The setter dusted his clothes, gritting his teeth as he looked at his twin brother that he always boasted around here and there. But now, now the brown orbs looked at his carbon copy with disappointment. "And I still can't believe you did that too."

The two of them just stared at each other's eyes, five feet apart since they were sure another fight would ensue if there was no gap in between them.

Atsumu letting out a sigh, chuckling bitterly as he could feel tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. His twin brother could do nothing but to face the ground, funny how they were so close, yet felt so far as if there was no bond that connected them since birth.

The younger twin didn't dare to face his brother as he let every word that was just being thrown towards him sunk inside his mind. He knew that the setter now wanted nothing to do with him, he knew that perhaps for the next few years, Atsumu would do anything to avoid him.

Ever since everyone knew what he did with the professional middle blocker, he could feel how the string that linked them together — started to get loose. The two of them promised inside their own mind, that they would never leave each other behind. So he had to cling on that hope.

"Hey, Samu." The younger twins looked up, only to see the broad back of his brother. He didn't know what was inside the setter's head, he couldn't see his expression to predict the words that might come out. But somehow, he could feel his heart clenched as if it would be the last time he saw him.

"I wish I never had you as my brother."

And right at this moment, he just realised that he had lost not just one — but two people at the same time.

He had lost you, the only woman that would do anything for him in a blink of an eye, you that interlaced your hand with him as you walked right by his side from the beginning. You, you, and you. His first love, his first kiss, his first everything.

And he, too, lost Miya Atsumu, his very own twin brother that was there to accompany him when he breathed the first air in this world. Now his greyish orbs could only stare at the car that passed him, a sign that showed him from now on — he was on his own.

Osamu buried his face on the white sheet of his bed, covering his whole head with a pillow. This had been going on for the last minutes, and the setter started to get tired of hearing his usual quiet twin, acting like he just dropped some food down the floor, whining and grunting.

"Can ya shut yer trap?" Atsumu was not angry or something, he was just curious about what could cause his twin to be like this. "You are awfully annoying right now, ya know?"

He expected to hear some reaction, another insult just like how it used to. But surprisingly, he was only greeted by silence. The blonde that was playing the console before now paused his game, walking towards the bed and poke his head at the upper level. He nudged his twin brother on the waist, making the opposite wing spiker to jolt and yelped.

"What do ya want?!" Osamu grumbled and sat up straight on his bed, glaring at his twin. "I am busy thinking, what is it?"

"You are making disturbing noises as if you are going to die!" The blonde retorted, folding his arms in front of his chest. "What is it? Don't tell me you failed another exam."

"No, no." Letting out a sigh, the foodies leaned his head on the wall. "It's not that, it's something silly actually."

Atsumu raised one of his eyebrows, now really worried when he saw his twin brother looked so gloomy. He didn't want to show it, yet if someone saw him now, it was really visible through his brown orbs how much he cared for his younger brother.

"Yeah? How silly?"

"I like Sunarin's sister."

He parted his lips, wanting to say something, maybe a joke or some playful response. But it was as if there was a huge lump on his throat, making his voice to be stuck there when the information finally seeped on his mind.

He should have known this fact by now, everyone that had eyes could see how clumsy Osamu would be when you were around, how by just having you watching the practice made his performance on the court even better. Yet when he finally heard it right from the younger twin, he knew that there was no chance for him to make a move on you.

Ha, as if he had a chance from the start anyway.

"You are not really subtle, Samu." Atsumu snickered, trying to coat his own pain that was now bubbling inside his heart with some laughter. "Why did you look so scared? You have this handsome face, it would be easy to catch her heart." He playfully pointed at his own face, after all the two of them were twins anyway.

"Jerkhead."

"Hey!"

The silver-haired man rolled his eyes, now snickering when the setter had a big pout on his face. Atsumu felt relieved inside his heart, that at least now his twin brother could laugh and came back to his usual self. He may not look like it, but he would do anything to make sure that his twin lives the best life.

"For real, though, Samu." He cleared his throat, a smug look was now written all over his face. "I will be the best wingman ever, and you will get that pretty lady to be your lover ten days from now!"

If that meant he had to sacrifice his own feelings, then so be it. Miya Atsumu loved his brother, maybe more than anything in this world, more than the woman that could make his heart skip a beat in a matter of seconds by just glancing at her.

And when he saw the grey orbs covered with hope, he knew that he had chosen the right thing to do.

Right now though, Atsumu really wanted to turn back time when he was still in high school.

He wanted to go back, to when he first laid his eyes on you. If he was given the chance, he would snap his fingers in front of his twin. If he could be on that day once again, he would make sure that the once wing spiker could hear him loud and clear when he declared you would be his.

Atsumu chuckled bitterly at how everything turned out. His brown orbs stared into the ceiling, ignoring his phone that kept vibrating on the drawer. Every time he looked at the screen, it was always the same name. Miya Osamu, one of the most successful businessmen below thirty.

Today, he was supposed to be the best man for the business tycoon. He should have worn the black suit that had a golden accent on the collar and the wrist. But the exact same suit was now still packed under the plastic wrap, hanging inside his massive closet as if it was just another old clothes that he would never wear.

When he got that suit all those months ago, he was appointed to be the best man at Miya Osamu and Suna (F/n) wedding, that was the deal. He already prepared the speech, as he wanted to be as perfect as he could be in front of the two people that he loved the most.

Even though he was jealous, even though sometimes he flipped his twin's portrait so it was as if he was the one inside the picture with you, he still wanted the best for the black-haired man. Yet now, to know that he sacrificed his own happiness, to know that you devoted your whole life for his twin only to have your heart broken at the end of the day — Atsumu really couldn't stop himself from thinking about what could have been.

He groaned when his phone vibrated once again, and he was ready to just throw it out the window or turned it off. But he was anticipating someone else, he was afraid that you would call him. He wanted to make sure that he was just one call away, that he was easy to reach.

And well, it was all paid off when your name was now all over his screen.

Atsumu immediately sat straight, bouncing like a child as a smile adorned his lips. He didn't know why he felt so nervous, it was just you after all. Ye,s you, the one woman that he had been pining from for the last ten years he lived in this world.

"The superior twin is here!" He declared with so much confidence in his voice, and he was so giddy when he could hear you snicker from the other line. "I am serious though, I am older, therefore I am superior."

"I don't know where you got that way of thinking, but I will let it slide for you." You answered, though his forehead scrunched up a bit when he caught how different you sounded like just now. But he shook it off, he would keep talking and become your company, that was his goal from the start.

Something that he noticed was how clear your voice was just now. Usually, it would crack here and there, the results of you crying for hours. But you were so much calmer, yet you still sounded so tired, as if you had been working nonstop.

"Ah, miss (Y/n), always so humble." But he wouldn't ask anything if you were not the one who opened up to him. "Say, what have I done to get such privilege hearing your voice?" Because for him, to be at least the one who you were comfortable talking to, was enough.

"I just need company, Atsumu." You breathed out softly, and he could hear a gentle splash of water from your side. "Are you busy helping around the wedding?"

"No, I am not busy. Not at all." He wanted to confess that he was not even at the venue, but somehow he could hear you scolding him for not being a good brother for his twin. So he decided to keep his mouth shut, focusing himself solely on you. "I am here, (Y/n). I am always here if you need me."

"Yeah?" Your voice was strained a little. "Then, would you tell me a story? Anything? I just want to listen to your voice."

His heart skipped a beat faster from your statement. Your words made him feel something that he had lost, the thing that he buried since he saw how his twin's eyes sparkled when he saw you. Hope. He cleared his throat, chuckling a little as he tried not to show how nervous he was right now.

"Since you asked so nicely."

Atsumu was a great storyteller, that was what you could conclude by hearing his tone went up and down so easily as word after word rolled down from his tongue. It was refreshing, to hear him talking non stop like this.

Something about his voice just made you feel at peace. As if you were back to your high school days where everything was all good. He always came up at you, usually talking nonsense and whined about his twin brother. It had been so long since you had a decent conversation, all because the work schedule and adulthood being harsh.

So to hear the same voice that used to accompany your teenage life, to hear the same cheeky remarks here and there that just screamed freedom — you knew that it was the right thing to call him.

"Hey, Atsumu."

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

The blonde setter was taken aback by the sudden gratitude that you gave. He never asked to be acknowledged by you, he never expected himself that one day you would see him without any lingers that reminded you of your ex-fiancé.

Then again maybe, maybe this was a good start, and he really couldn't wait to see you back in line, became the princess — without prince — that kept thriving to reach the ultimate ending.

"Really, it's nothing." He chuckled softly, carding his fingers to the strands of his blonde hair. "I just tried to be the best... friend that I could ever be."

One step at a time, Miya Atsumu. He reminded himself. Maybe one day you would find your happily ever after, but you needed to be patient.

"Hehe, you are the best." Your voice sounded more distance by now. "Now I wonder what would happen if only I am being honest at that time." As if you dropped your phone somewhere, and you were too tired to pick it up.

"Honest?" But he didn't pay too much attention to it as he was more curious by your words. "(Y/n), what do you mean? That time when?"

There was only silence, and right now his mind was creating a lot of scenarios. He bit his lips, wanting to know what was the meaning of your words. "(Y/n)? Please, what do you mean by being ho—"

"I used to like you, you know?"

And time seemed to stop, as the confession rolled down from your lips so easily. He wanted to say something, he wanted to ask you to define your words. Like was such an ambiguous word. It could be interpreted as how you like his personality, or you liking the fact you were friends with him, "I used to love you, at one time."

"W-What?" But this one word slipped from your lips, answered his questions from before. "Don't joke around like that. You always loved Samu, everyone knew that." Yet he didn't want to believe it. "You kissed him on your first date! Not any girl would kiss—"

"Because you were there, right?" He stopped talking, bringing himself back to that particular day. "You always tried so hard to make sure I fell in love with Osamu, I am not that dumb. So I just want to make you happy by opening up my heart for him." The same day where he tucked his feelings away. "You are one wonderful man, you know that, Atsumu?"

The day he let you go for his twin, was the same day you let your feelings go to love another man that was not him.

"(Y/n), I—"

"So even though now I wonder about what could have been," He just felt hope a moment before. "I am glad." So why now suddenly it felt like someone just burned the bridge that would lead him to his happy ending? "I am glad that you were the last person that I spent my time talking to."

"Wait, what do you mean?" He wailed, waiting to hear for your response. "(Y/n), fuck! What did you mean by the last person?!" He screamed to his phone, begging for any kind of sign that you were there. But there was nothing, once again he was greeted by nothing but silence.

Atsumu felt like he couldn't breathe. He needed to see you, he needed to make sure that you were alright. Maybe you were just falling asleep, maybe just like what Akagi had wished, you could finally sleep after days being in such a rollercoaster of emotions.

Ten minutes. He could be there in ten minutes by foot, a lot faster compared to how he needed to prepare his car and opened up the garage. The setter didn't think twice as he wore his shoes and ran to your house. He didn't bother to lock his front door as he dashed himself to see you, mind too predominated by lots of dark scenarios.

You used to love him. He tried to hold on your words. If at one time you fell for him, then perhaps one day you could love him once again. He wanted to believe in that as he ran even faster, thanking himself for choosing to be a professional athlete that could make him have a lot of stamina.

His mind kept replaying the fact that was being poured on top of him like a bucket of ice water. Ever since he knew you, he was too busy coating his own feelings. Telling lies to himself, belittled his own mind because he didn't want to have any regret when he helped his twin to be close with you.

If only he knew, if only he looked closer to your eyes and not just focused on his twin — maybe, he would have his very own fairy tale that he always yearned to have.

He knocked haphazardly on your front door, his heart still felt so heavy as he waited for the latch to be unlocked. But even after seconds went by, even after he kept screaming out your name without a care that people would call the police, you didn't even show yourself.

"Fuck it."

When he didn't hear anything from the other side of the door, he immediately spun his brain, searching around the terrace since he knew you had a habit to save a duplicate key somewhere — a habit that your ex-fiancé once told him.

Atsumu let out a smile of relief when he saw the silver key tugged on one of the potted plants. And without wasting another time, he immediately turned the key, eyes scanning the whole ground floor in case you were there, maybe falling asleep somewhere.

But there was no sign of you, not even in the bedroom of yours. Your room was clean, nothing but a bed, some books, and photographs. It was as if you never lived here with how the room looked like what people could find in a design magazine.

Everything was too neat like you have been gone for a long time. And he was ultimately afraid that you were not here to begin with.

Then his mind replayed the phone call from before; every sound that you made, the calm voice of yours, each of the syllables that came out from your lips, he tried to remember all of that. Splash of water. He heard it in the first minutes, and it was enough for him to take another step in this mission to find you.

He braced himself as he walked closer to the master bathroom that was connected without any door. Atsumu was ready to hear you scream, maybe throwing some of the shampoo bottles in his direction — he was okay with that, because at least, at least you were fine.

The bathroom was the same, so clean that no one could find any unusual things. Though his eyes were sharp enough to see the two bottles of sleeping pills on the sink. He took it to his hand, and he swallowed a huge lump when he saw the condition. All were opened, all were emptied.

He immediately jerked his head to the bathtub that was filled to the brim. The colour was milky white, and the surface was scarily stagnant. No. It can't be. He was scared to take another step forward. No, no, no. Because now as he was standing right beside the tub,

His orbs could catch the silhouette of a human body, one that was perfectly — still.

"No," He hiccuped as he could only feel dread. In a swift moment, he jumped himself to the enormous tub, trying to find where your head positioned with how blurred the water was. "Please, please." And he gasped when he could finally see your face.

You looked so glorious, that if you were a heroine in some kind of fantasy book, he was sure that you would become more than just a princess. Even with your hair sticking all over your face, even with how your lips slowly turned to blue, you still looked the same through his eyes.

Perfection, the only person that could make his life complete.

Atsumu cradled you, pulling your now cold body on his embrace in case he could hear your heart beats. But there was nothing. In this space he was in, the only thing that could be heard was the prickling waters and his own misery.

When he imagined himself to have you in his arms, this was not the scenario that he ever had in mind. He wanted to hold you close for a thousand times, he wanted to be the one that could make you feel better when you were feeling down. Maybe he was already like that, but it was not enough.

With trembling hands, his finger swept your hair gently, tucking the strand of it at the back of your ear. He eyed your expression as you fell asleep, and he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle that filled with bitterness and anguish.

"Can you hear me? Hey, (Y/n)?" His voice cracked, vision blurred with his own tears as he shook your body. "(Y/n), please, y-you haven't heard it, please." He swallowed a huge lump, biting his own lips as he was still clinging to some miracle that could happen.

"I love you." So fucking much. "Can't you hear me? I love you! I love you, (Y/n) why didn't you wait for me?!"

His finger pinched your cheek, it was the fastest way to wake you up when you fell asleep on their practice all those years ago. He needed to see your orbs, he needed to see how your lashes fluttered open the second he woke you up, just like usual. One more time, he needed to see it just one more time.

"Hey, wake up. I promise I am not going to leave. I will always be here, I'm always here."

But your eyes still closed, and he shouldn't have expected a miracle when he knew there was not any.

"I am sorry. I am sorry."

And Miya Atsumu should have known better, that there was no such thing as happily ever after in this real world.

Tagged Lovelies:

@muffins-puffins @quirksandbreaths @vlovers-world @blacckdiamondposts @atsunflower @hihiq @the-fandom-ness @murasakibaraa @verbluehte @simp4tsukkii @ladyalicevii @evermorehaikyuu @clowninfortodoroki @koutaroulovebot @fitriiaw @mistypoison @aquariarose @greenleaf-fantasy @t-amajiki @kuraomi @haikyuuwithadashofart @starbybokuto @shiningstar-byulxx @nerdyphantomlady @raequii @akasuns @sugawsites @macaronnv @spicyfoodboi

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu angst #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu angst #miya osamu imagine #miya osamu scenario #haikyuu miya osamu #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu angst #miya atsumu imagine #miya atsumu scenario

[setterspirit]

nothing important

❥ ‑‑‑‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑ ‑

it wasn’t until you had all finished that eito had requested his desired alone time with suna, the named man giving you a half intrigued, half bored expression as you spoke quietly to eito.

it wasn’t until you had all finished that eito had requested his desired alone time with suna, the named man giving you a half intrigued, half bored expression as you spoke quietly to eito.

it wasn’t until you had all finished that eito had requested his desired alone time with suna, the named man giving you a half intrigued, half bored expression as you spoke quietly to eito.

it wasn’t until you had all finished that eito had requested his desired alone time with suna, the named man giving you a half intrigued, half bored expression as you spoke quietly to eito.

it wasn’t until you had all finished that eito had requested his desired alone time with suna, the named man giving you a half intrigued, half bored expression as you spoke quietly to eito.

“i’ll just- i’ll be right back,” you murmured, standing up and walking to the bathrooms.

when you had left eito’s line of sight, eito sat up straighter in front of suna, eyes watching the middle blockers every move. suna, noticing the change in eito, also sat up straighter, gazing down curiously at the five year old to see what he wanted to say to him.

it was quiet between the two for a solid minute, causing suna to shift uncomfortably in his seat. he felt awkward being stared down by a five year old, seeing as he was close to 20 years older than the child. it was a weird feeling to be stared down by a five year old, especially considering said five year old’s mom was just in the bathrooms.

“you better not hurt my mama,” were the first words out of the child’s mouth, completely catching suna off guard. he had been expecting eito to say something, he just had no clue of what he was expecting exactly, but that was definitely not it.

“i could never hurt y/n,” was suna’s response, hands folded in front of him as he gazed back at the five year old. eito gave him a look that would’ve looked threatening, had it come from a grown man, but coming from a child, it looked more humorous, though suna held in the laugh he was so tempted to let out.

“if you do, i will find you, and i will make you regret it,” eito declared, sending a glare over to suna who widened his eyes at the supposed threat of the five year old.

of course, he wasn’t afraid, he was more shocked if anything, by the fact that a five year old was brave enough to challenge a full grown, pro volleyball player, that was enough to cause the middle blocker to go speechless. what kind of child had you raised? he was obviously very fearless, probably something he’d picked up thanks to knowing kyōtani and aone. he also knew how to make his threats actually stick, something he’d no doubt picked up from knowing tsukishima.

“then i won’t hurt your mama,” suna replied after a few moments of silence, in which time, the milkshakes had arrived and eito had started to sip at it.

“okay!” eito smiled, glancing up when he spotted you appear from the bathroom.

“so, what’d you and suna talk about, bubs?” you questioned as you sat down next to eito again.

“nothing important,” eito responded, eliciting a laugh out of you as took your own milkshake and started drinking it. suna shot eito a look, eyes wide in surprise as eito acted as if he hadn’t just threatened him.

“yeah, nothing important…” suna muttered, glancing away from you as he spoke.

you obviously knew it was something, though you never bothered to ask any of the other guys you’d introduced eito to — yes, he’d done this many times, and many times had your relationships with those men ended abruptly, though it wasn’t anyone’s fault, you just agreed that it was for the best that you break it off. you hadn’t found “the one” yet, and you honestly weren’t sure if you would, but there was still some time, right? you weren’t that old, after all.

you, suna, and eito finished your milkshakes and then continued to talk, filling each other in on the parts of your lives you’d each missed. you told him stories of your time in france, while he told you tales of his time knowing the twins. eito listened while you both spoke, a content look on his face when he found that you were enjoying yourself. he always found joy in whatever you found joy in, that’s just the sort of relationship you and he shared, and you were content with that.

the feeling you got sitting in the diner, talking and laughing with suna and eito, it all felt so...natural, like it was meant to be, and you didn’t want it to end, but it would have to eventually.

[ masterlist | thirteen | fourteen | fifteen ]

word count; 1.3k+

fast facts;

fact #1; y/n is now friends with college students nariko and reiko, who now even have a twitter gc (though if i show interactions from it, who knows).

fact #2; eito has “threatened” a total of three other men y/n has tried dating, though he’s never able to follow through on said threats because he’s only five. all those relationships ended in a mutual agreement, though, so it was never necessary for eito to even have to follow through on said threats.

fact #3; y/n and suna’s little catch up had lasted for about thirty minutes after they had finished eating, though neither wanted the night to end, so they agreed to go to the closest park to continue hanging out.

✨) a/n; i’m really sorry my writing sucks,,,😔 i’m not used to writing second person, but i promise i’ll work on improving? or i’ll switch over to third person, but i’ll let you know if i do!! anyways, i hope you enjoyed this nice little chapter, especially that threat from eito. ;) anyways, enjoy the rest of your days/nights, and i’ll see y’all in the next update! thanks for reading. 🤍✨

✨) summary; l/n y/n is a single mother living with her 5 year old son in sendai. suna rintarō is a professional volleyball player, the middle blocker for the ejp raijin. the msby black jackals vs the schweiden adlers is a game between two of japan’s v league division 1 teams that bring together many old rivals. y/n is dragged to the game by her cousin, tsukishima kei, claiming she needed to get out and do more than just work and take care of her child. reluctantly, she goes along with the usually salty blond — leaving her 5 year old with a babysitter — to watch the game between two of tsukishima’s ex-teammates. suna makes the executive decision that he will be going to the game to support his former teammate and setter, miya atsumu, with komori asking if he could accompany the middle blocker so he could support his cousin, suna readily agrees and they also invite washio to go with them, knowing he’d want to see bokuto as well. a chance encounter at the game of old reunions brings together two old friends and feelings start to re-emerge. follow y/n and suna as they get to know each other again, fend off any unwanted attention, and work through parenthood in “talk about surprises!”

updates every monday!

taglist; @pieckiya @its-the-aerieljeane @amatee @crayonwriting @reblogthatgoodfanfiction @mint-mai @akaashiwife @kac-chowsballs @sugarb0 @bdanie @the-golden-jhope @goodpop9 @navymacaroons @tendo-sxtori @sirachano0dles @seijqhigh @hannahlxu @mattsunsupremacy @winunk @briidge @kageyamasgirl @yongboxerrr @kiyoovmie @elianetsantana @ofmiceandsharks @bokutokita @honeydrip @tycrackculture @madmelle @kitkozume @gushinim @luckypartyranchmug @kenssister @matsukawaslut @smthn-about-smthn @devilkittymusic @tsukkisfatsimp @k3nma-fairy @tchalameme @athenarosaline @sunarinsbb @mirotic-ness @lilith412426 @moonlightaangel @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @sakusasimpbot @cinderella-2003 @chantalkate16 @borpcorp

bold and strike through means i couldn’t tag. ):

check out the masterlist to see how you can be added to the taglist! <3

#talk about surprises #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu social media au #haikyuu smau #haikyuu suna #haikyuu suna rintarou #suna rintarō #suna rintarou #suna rintarou x reader #suna rintarō x reader #suna rintarou smau #suna rintarō smau #suna x reader #suna x y/n #pro volleyball!suna

[knjoodles]

learn to love; jungkook | 03

pairing: teacher!jungkook x singleparent!reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 3.8k

summary: raising your daughter alone while simultaneously watching your ex-husband live the life of his dreams away from the two of you hurts. badly. it hurts a little less, though, when you find an unlikely friend while looking for help.

lowercase intended 

01 | 02 | 04

   after dropping seyoung to her school, you sat in your car contemplating what had just happened, running your hands over the leather of your wheel. you thought it was inappropriate to be this interested in your daughter’s teacher. he was objectively handsome, his striking eyebrows and gentle dimples key features of his face. his body, well, he was lean and fit, standing taller than you with toned arms and legs. it was obvious he took care of himself very well and, from how organized the classroom was, that he was very attentive in nearly every aspect of his life. maybe it wasn’t necessarily the things you saw on the surface but what you learned from his habits that drew you to him.

  it wasn’t as if you were head over heels in love with this man. you knew what that felt like with hoseok, and this feeling? it wasn’t that. but, that didn’t stop you from giggling like a little girl in excitement over the image of his heaven-perfected facial features flashing in your mind. 

  thankful that some of your team members, like you, are also parents, you were relieved when they assured you it was alright that you’d arrive later to drop off your daughter. pulling up to the front of bighit’s shockingly large headquarters, you left your car, adjusting the bag hanging off your shoulder as you stepped in.

  your friendly coworkers greeted you kindly, waving and beaming at you. though you weren’t very social, your name flew around quite often in the workplace. your huge achievements and resilient aura while simultaneously being a single mother are what made you so popular without you even trying. your coworkers admired just how much shit you persisted through to get where you are today. you’re a tough lady, and you’re proud that it’s well known. “(y/n!)” a familiar voice sung, making you turn your head. you found a frantically waving sooyoung in front of you, dangling out of a conference room. “bang pd’s having an exec. meeting in our usual room. guess what? we have a new album to produce!” she danced as you approached her, visibly excited at this news. park sooyoung, your partner in crime. 

  even though she was two years your junior, sooyoung had been with you through almost everything. anything that currently affected you, sooyoung knew about. the two of you were joint at the hip during college, as the two of you shared the idea of naïve students to join a sorority. once you both realized how shitty it could be, you broke the ‘girl pact’ and left, renting an apartment together. from bonding over how much you hated the attitude of an idol to laughing over soju and ramen, you’d never give up a second you spent with her. she was the only constant in your entire life at this point, the only independent variable. your relationship with her never faltered, it only grew and grew so much that it’s as if your love for her is essentially etched into your heart. she’d helped you plan the wedding, plan for seyoung, file for divorce. she was your shoulder to cry on, your great escape. you could find no one quite like her who’d help you like she did. her broad, welcoming smile and simple beauty was a refresher from the caked makeup of idols wandering the hallways, just as unhappy with their look as your eyes were from having to see it. “sooyoung!” you waved back, following her inside the conference room and shutting the door behind you. sitting down at the desk labeled yours, you sat at the head seat, projector clicking on behind you. your team members surrounded you: sooyoung, yunho, euijin, namjoon, and jinah.

   “alright, cap’n!” yunho exclaimed, twisting on his swivel chair, fingers drumming his laptop’s keyboard. “what’s the plan? we’ve got a couple of unused demos from clc’s old albums we can freshen up and reuse for loona’s comeback! may i?” he suggested. at your nod of approval, he screen-shared his laptop screen to the projector, important tabs being dragged into view. 

   “great.” you smiled, pulling your laptop from its case. “yunho, leave those up there. those are all the tracks we have for the album, correct? first, i’d like to thank all of you for bringing together your top demos. after listening to your tracks, i know for a fact that we all took bang pd’s enthusiasm for the transferred girl group very seriously, and i appreciate that. second, i have made the final cuts after consulting your votes, and we’ve concluded that so what, hash, number one, oh yes i am, ding ding dong and three six five will remain on the album. one of every one of our songs has made it onto the album. congratulations! now, about logistics,” you started, your excitement for an upcoming album clouding all other thoughts. when you went to work, surprisingly enough, it felt as if you were on vacation, as if you were doing something right again. passion pumped through your veins once more, captivating the rest of your team. it was go time. 

   “fuck, you did it again, (y/n). great work.” namjoon sighed, shaking your hand as he rose from his seat. “i can’t believe we got this much done in such a small amount of time. i could’ve gone way longer, it’s a shame we had to cut it short.”

   “i know!” jinah chimed in agreement, gathering her things. “i couldn’t handle a second of what you do every day, (y/n). you’re amazing.”

   “no, you can,” you denied, correcting the both of them. “if you’re on this board of what, six people? it means you’re one of the most hardworking, competent, and passionate producers bighit has ever hired, to the point where you’re one of the heads of operations. you could all handle what i do, that’s mainly why i chose you to lead your respective sectors.” you chuckled, pulling your bag onto your shoulder. “and, i wish we could go longer, too. i have a parent meeting with my daughter’s teacher, so that’s the reason why you’ll all be sleeping early tonight.” you joked, earning a hearty laugh from your colleagues. you waved goodbye to each of your teammates, wishing them a good night and a safe drive the way you always did. this left you and sooyoung, babbling just like you did when you were younger. 

   “hey, you going anywhere tonight?” sooyoung asked, heels clicking on the marble floors.

   “i mean, i have the meeting with seyoung’s teacher. did you forget already?” you chuckled, poking fun at her. “but no, i don’t have anywhere to go after that. what, did you want to come with me?” you raised an eyebrow and watched sooyoung’s face relax, obviously thankful that you brought it up instead of her.

   “oh my god, yes,” she groaned, smiling. “my car’s being repaired and i don’t want to take an uber home. me, you, and seyoung can have a mommy-daughter-auntie night! please?” she gripped your hand, tugging it like a child. 

   “fine!” you laughed, pulling your hand away. “it would be good for seyoung to have someone while she waits for me to finish with her teacher. even though it’s fifteen minutes, she can get pretty bored and or antsy when she doesn’t have something to entertain herself with,” you thought aloud, knowing that because seyoung’s growing up, she’s more excitable and more curious about things. you silently thanked sooyoung from sparing you all the dramatic nightmares of a mother when she knows her child has to sit alone, without her. you invited sooyoung into the front seat of your car, her long legs slithering into place. 

   “have you met him already? my sister works at yooseong, she told me jungkook is new,” sooyoung explained, suddenly very invested in seyoung’s new teacher.

   “well, i did meet him earlier today, but,” you paused, face contorting to a confused frown. “how the hell did you know he was teaching seyoung?” your eyes widened, your lips forming an astonished smile. “sooyoung!”

   “i might’ve pulled some strings,” she raised her hands in defeat. “it’s just because i was curious about seyoung! my sister knows how close we are and how much i love seyoung, i practically begged her to tell me!” sooyoung confessed, voice rising practically three octaves. “but, seriously, how is he? is he a nice guy? he better be a nice guy,” sooyoung warned, fists balling. you loved how her personality towards friends contrasted heavily from the woman in the workplace. sooyoung working had an aura so intimidating and sharp she could cut, but sooyoung chatting had the aura of a big cuddle bear. 

   “he’s, well,” you started, trying to gather your words. you couldn’t say much about him, the two of you only had a two-minute conversation. “i don’t know a lot about him because, as i mentioned, we met this morning, but, sooyoung, do you know what he looks like?”

   “no, i don’t.” she shrugged. “soojung only gave me his name. what, is he scary? does he not look like he’s supposed to be there?” sooyoung pandered you with questions, her eyes and tone full of concern.

   “no, no!” you replied, shaking your free hand. “he looks fine. i just, well, i don’t know how to explain it. do you remember when we met hoseok at that party a long, long time ago?” you asked, earning a slow nod from her. “he reminds me of that hoseok. a bubbly, kind, caring, hoseok.” you paused and listened to the silence in the car, the traffic outside being the only thing preventing this conversation from being more awkward. “i... i don’t know,” you sighed, laughing at your strange thoughts. “i don’t even understand how that works! i met him for two fucking minutes and in those two minutes he managed to remind me of the one man i loved with all my heart?” you breathed heavily, recollecting yourself.

   “hey, woah,” sooyoung cautioned, rubbing a hand your back. “don’t make this teacher that personal for you. he’s not hoseok, he’s someone else, and if you keep associating him with that scum on earth you won’t ever have a good relationship with him. remember seyoung needs this, and so do you. seyoung first, and then you.” sooyoung’s hard-knock advice never failed to be your reality check. she’d always remind you of what was important so you wouldn’t get so caught up in your emotions. “i suggest you talk to him and get to know him, so you can see just how different he is from hoseok. i mean, if i had any kids, i wouldn’t let them near hoseok. he’d probably lock ‘em in a closet and sleep with his girlfriend for the thirtieth time in a row.” she rolled her eyes, slapping the dash of your car in anger. “i hate that guy. i know you don’t want me to hate him, but i do. i capital h, a, t, e him. hate.” she complained, folding her arms. 

   “no, i get it. if he wasn’t the father of my child, i’d hate him too.” you pulled into the driveway of the school, seeing students waddle off with their parents as the school day came to a close. you led sooyoung to seyoung’s third-grade classroom, the door now decorated with adorable mini paper handprints of each student, their name written in the center. in the lower right corner, you could see jungkook’s large handprint with ‘mr. jeon’ scribbled on it about twenty-six times, one for each student to write his name. you chuckled at how cute it was and opened the door, the room buzzing with excitement as parents came to collect their child. 

   “ah, ms. (y/n)!” jungkook’s head rose from the pile of homework on his desk to greet you. he stepped out of his chair and walked towards you and sooyoung, twisting his body to avoid the high-energy children. 

   “he knows your first name?!” sooyoung whisper-ashouted, awe-strucken.

   “i almost told him my last name was jung! i wasn’t thinking, i just said the first thing that came to mind!” you whispered back, panicking that you were having this conversation as he made his way to you.

   “you couldn’t remember your last name?” sooyoung retorted, utterly confused. “jesus, (y/n), seriously?”

   “yes, seriously,” you responded as jungkook finally reached the two of you. “it’s nice to see you again, mr. jeon.” you shook his hand politely, smiling. 

   “it’s nice to see you, too!” he turns to sooyoung, squinting slightly. “i don’t believe we’ve met, but you look so familiar —“

   “i’m soojung’s sister, sooyoung.” she smiled, waving. 

   “the famous soojung is your sister? of course!” he returned her friendly gaze, nodding. as you all chatted nicely a teacher entered the room, telling all children who haven’t been picked up yet to head to the cafeteria for extended care. “it’s nice to meet you. i do have a meeting with (y/n) at the moment, so may we please be excused?” jungkook, asked, adjusting his shirt. 

   “yeah, sooyoung, can you get seyoung? she hasn’t noticed we’re here yet,” you laughed, watching your daughter march happily out of the classroom. “seyoung!” you called. her head spun and her eyes widened when she caught sight of you, but her mouth twisted into an excited grin at the sight of sooyoung. 

   “sooyoung auntie!” seyoung exclaimed, running to give her a huge hug. 

   “hi, baby!” sooyoung pat her head affectionately, taking her hand. “i’ll take care of her. you guys get going!”

  and so, after all the students had left, you sat down in front of jungkook’s desk as he tidied it up, moving large stacks of paper behind him. “i’m sorry i couldn’t have cleaned earlier,” he sighed, filing through cabinets and stuffing papers inside. “when you’re in charge of twenty-six kids at once, things don’t always end up getting done very quickly.” he joked, sitting at his desk. 

   “oh, tell me about it,” you replied, laughing. “seyoung’s quite a handful at home; she’s full of beans!” you pulled out a small notebook from your purse, wanting to make sure you'd jot down everything down from this meeting.

   “i can tell! she’s very excited in class and has shown just how enthusiastic she is about the tangerine points.” he chuckled, motioning to the large counter scribbled on the corner of the whiteboard, dedicated to tangerine points. “but, today, we’re just going to talk logistics, what i should know about your child, what i should know about you, and anything else you see important. i wanted to talk about seyoung first, but, if there’s something you wanted to open with, we can start there?” he asked, opening a desk drawer and pulling out a file labeled ‘seyoung’.

   “oh, no, this meeting is about seyoung, so it’s appropriate we start with her.” you tittered, earning a laugh from the man across from you.

   “you’re funny!” he smiled, opening the file. “well, this is seyoung’s file; it has her records from kindergarten to second grade, her personal information, and any notes other teachers have made regarding her and her performance. i looked over it before our meeting, and may i just say, great job, (y/n). your daughter is amazing, she shines particularly well. she has a lot of potential, and you seem to have unlocked it in her early years! congratulations on that.” he nodded at your smiling face, turning pages of the contents of the file. “i did want to mention that, even though she does very well, seyoung is very talkative in class. not to the point where she disturbs class time, but enough for me to mention it to you. do you understand what i mean?” he asked, motioning towards you.

  you looked up from your notebook, finishing a sentence. “yes, of course.” you nodded. “is there anything you wanted me to do about this, like talk to her at home?”

   “i think that’d be the best move, just telling her that class time is for work, and recess is for play. i told her today that i needed her to listen more in class, and she assured me she’d do exactly that!” he smiled. “i’ll wait until tomorrow to further contact you about this because i’m pretty sure she’ll listen to me. i also wanted to discuss her emergency contacts? the school was going to call you about this, but once they heard we’ve scheduled a meeting, they asked me to discuss it with you.”

   “of course,” you replied, very confused. you closed your notebook, palm resting on top of it, pen in hand. “go on?”

   “after you, we have park sooyoung, kang seulgi, and her father, jung hoseok. we’d called mr. jung a couple days ago for annual information verification and a woman picked up. once we asked for him, they told us we couldn’t have his information and hung up. is the number written correctly? we want to make sure all information is up to date.”

  you sighed, angry at how you knew exactly who picked up the phone and how she has no filter when it comes to her personality. “the information i put on seyoung’s documents is up to date, that’s just his partner.”

   “oh, i see,” jungkook muttered, afraid he may have pushed a button. “i’ll let the office know, and we’ll try to contact him again. my dearest apologies for bothering.”

   “it’s fine,” you waved your hand, smiling bitterly. “you’re just doing your job! but, anyway, is there anything else about seyoung? i know the school year has just begun, so there may not be much from your end just yet, but i’m glad you can see just how gifted seyoung is. she’s my pride and joy.”

   “i’m glad she has a supportive family,” he smiled, adjusting the papers within the file and closing it, tucking it back into its respective folder. “that’s very important in a child’s life.” he stood up from his chair, prompting you to do the same. “i’m glad we could have this talk, ms. (y/n). we can call this a success!” he shook your hand firmly, smiling brightly. after gathering his things he led you outside of the classroom, presumably walking you to the front. “i’ve heard of your work for these big k-pop groups. i almost trained to be in one myself, but i ended up going to college and becoming a teacher.”

   “that’s so interesting! did you get accepted?” you gazed at him in surprise. he had the looks and charisma to be a famous idol.

   “i did! i was accepted to many, many companies, but i couldn’t leave my parents at home, so i stayed.” he explained, smiling. “it was my dream to perform, up until i got my teaching degree. i love these little ones, and i love what i do. i don’t know if performing could give me even the slightest bit of happiness that seeing bright, young minds every day offers me.”

   “that’s such an interesting story. it’s very respectable, your love for teaching. i appreciate it, deeply.” you replied, opening the door of the school for him after he finished checking out. “thank you for this!” you shook his hand one more time, this time, with confidence. 

   “no, (y/n), thank you.” he smiled, his eyes locking with yours.

  the two of you went your separate ways, him to his car in the teachers’ designated parking lot, and you to your car, where you saw sooyoung texting on her phone and seyoung snoozing away in her car seat. “what the heck happened to seyoung?” you asked, startling sooyoung with the sudden opening of the car door. she scowled at you, slapping your arm.

   “(y/n), if i didn’t love you, you’d be dead meat.” sooyoung turned her head and glanced at seyoung’s sleeping form, her head resting against the cushion of her car seat. “we talked for a little bit, but she was just so tired that she dozed off the moment i started playing some music. it’s okay, though, that means we’ll have some silence on the way back.” she smiled, buckling herself in. “how’d it go?”

   “how’d it go?” you repeated as you pulled out of the driveway, spotting jungkook getting into his car from your rearview mirror. “well, it went pretty well, i’d say. he told me about how seyoung’s a gifted child and we went over some database things as well.”

   “of course he told you she’s gifted! what have i been telling you ever since she was born? this girl is going to grow up and become president.” sooyoung whined, squeezing your free hand briskly. “what about him?” she asked, shaking her shoulders. 

   “jungkook? what about him?” you asked, stretching your neck to eye the exit you needed to take. 

   “everything! he’s more good looking than i ever imagined him to be; is he single?” she exclaimed, making you almost break right in the middle of the highway. 

   “is he single?” you sputtered, face reddening. “how would i know something like that? his love life has nothing to do with seyoung’s performance in school!” 

   “i don’t know, i just saw the two of you standing next to each other and i knew it could work out! i mean, two attractive people with a perfect height difference and similar interests? how can that not spell out love to you?” sooyoung snorted, grinning. 

   “oh, no, sooyoung,” you warned, shaking your head. “do not try to play matchmaker with me again. you remember what it was like when i met that weirdo, yugyeom, through you? are you serious?” 

   “come on, he was nice! he paid for dinner!” she defended.

   “no, i paid for dinner, he told me about his life story on the first date. never again will I ever trust you to match me with someone else.” you corrected her, the two of you laughing at the absurdity of that night.

   “it was one time!” she cackled in between breaths. no matter what it was, sooyoung could always make you burst out into hilarious laughter. “but, you didn’t answer my question. is. he. single?”

  you paused, glancing to the side. “he doesn’t have a ring—”

   “he doesn’t have a ring!” she exclaimed, shaking her fists in excitement. “no ring, no problem!”

   “hey, that doesn’t mean he’s not seeing someone! i mean, have you seen him, sooyoung? look at him! he probably has thousands of people in his messages asking for dates.” you groaned, realizing that if you did want to start something with him, you’d probably have no chance.

   “yeah, (y/n), i did see him.” she replied, looking at you. “i was looking at him, and the whole time, he was looking at you.”

—

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[dearest-bucky]

Put your head on my shoulder (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: The team goes away on a weekend vacation. Things happen in the car ride and later. 

Words: 3.5K

Warnings: only tooth rooting fluff!!

A/n: Hello! Please read this! I know there are people who have read this fic before, it is because I have posted it before, but my old blogs are both deleted now permanently so I had to start (once again, sigh..) from the beginning. Please, if you want, like and reblog this even though you might have done it when I posted it the first time. I would be infinitely grateful.

Because of some privacy issues I’m not writing my old blogs’ urls here, but I’m sure a lot of people will recognize the fics I will start reposting here every day and will know who I am. Thank you so much for your kindness and support on my old blogs, I am hoping to receive the same here, <3

Originally posted: October 21, 2019

It was one of those very rare occasions where being an Avenger wasn’t taking your whole time, so most of the team decided to do something about it. Going on weekend trips with your team members wasn’t something new for you, but what made this time special though, was the presence of a certain blue eyed ex assassin who decided to take the chance for the first time and join the rest of you.

As per usual, you being yourself and always late, but as Tony Stark would put it “fashionably so”, you were running out of the elevator to meet the rest of your friends in the car so you could finally leave the compound.

Sam was leaning from the passenger’s seat to the steering wheel, pushing the horn non-stop, succeeding this way to only piss off Bucky who was sitting behind with Natasha and Wanda.

“Stop that asshole. I’m here.” You yelled at Sam, putting the bag of your clothes in the trunk of the car and moving to get inside.

“Freaking finally!” Came the annoyed reply of Sam who apparently was tired of waiting.

It was only 10 minutes, you could argue with him if he said something again, but luckily Steve got in the driver’s seat so The Falcon decided to shut up for the moment.

You took a look at the behind seat of the car, spotting Nat, Wanda and Bucky all sitting there, not very comfortable but you supposed it was okay. However, there was no place for you to sit.

“Get in y/n.”

“Yeah, we don’t have all day.” Came another complaining from the bird of the team and you could just give him the middle finger, but you were preoccupied thinking of where to actually sit.

“Guys I don’t think there’s space for me here.” You talked calmly, almost not the same person who came running and cursing just a moment before.

Usually there wouldn’t be any inconvenience of this kind, because usually, there was not a huge mass of solid muscle and breathtaking smile taking almost half of the back seat of the car.

“Hop on Barnes.” Sam replied, matter-of-factly.

“Why me? I-I mean, it would be better if Wanda did, I weigh more than her and Bucky would be uncomfortable and..” you were blushing hard and stumbling upon your words, but this time Bucky cut you off just by taking your hand in his and tugging at it, suggesting you get in the car.

“It’s okay doll, I really don’t mind. You can sit on my lap.” He said quietly, almost shy, but he was sporting an easy smile on his face as if this situation was making him happy.

Maybe it was, you didn’t know.

You gave him a look, as if silently asking “Are you sure?” and when he nodded his head and kept his smile on his lips, you decided it was okay to actually sit on his lap.

While the thought made you blush, you and Bucky weren’t strangers to each other, so you contemplated there was nothing wrong about the situation, given the circumstances.

You hopped easily in the car and sat on his lap a little awkwardly to say the least, while Wanda was trying but miserably failing to hide a smile spreading from her face and Nat was not even bothering to conceal the knowing smirk from hers.

“Everyone ready?” Steve asked and only after a round of nods and ‘yes’-es, he finally started the car.

You had one of your hands glued behind Sam’s head trying to weigh as little as possible on Bucky’s lap and you were trying so badly to keep the composure in front of your teammates.

You weren’t necessarily uncomfortable being this close to Bucky, but what made it bad was the presence of your other friends, especially Natasha and Sam.

When Steve brought Bucky to the compound almost two years ago, he was as closed off in himself as he could be. Of course no one blamed him, he came from 70 years of horror and honestly only the fact that he was still alive was a miracle.

To say you were captivated by him as soon as you laid eyes on him, it’s an understatement. Being friends with Steve before and having him share all the stories from “back in the days” did not help your case at all. Only what you heard from Steve was almost enough to make you fall for The Bucky Barnes, the Sargent of the 107th. And then when the man himself showed up, you were definitely in love with him.

Despite everything he had been through, despite all the hard exterior, the history and all the killings he had in his back, there was something about him you couldn’t place. Maybe his eyes, blue like the ocean and deep and… kind? There was a kindness you could spot in them that not even decades of brainwashing couldn’t take it away.

The first few months Bucky would only talk to Steve, never join the common areas and stay in the confines of his own room. You never saw him and sometimes wondered if he was even there.

It was almost 5 months later when you literally ran into him well past midnight in one after your “quests for good food” in the kitchen that you had your first conversation with him.

It had been only one sleepless night for you after a grueling mission and of course another sleepless night for him (as all of them were) when you were walking around the kitchen in darkness to reach the cupboards trying to find any of the cookies Sam stashed away from the team when you ran into a solid mass.

You yelped in fear but calmed as soon as he spoke. It was somehow soothing to hear his voice.

You finally found what you were looking for and decided to share the cookies with him, along with two hot cocoas and a very pleasant conversation that continued until dawn, when Bucky asked for permission to leave for his morning run with Steve.

After that night, you had many more repeats of it. Sometimes both of you would talk over cookies and cocoa, sometimes you would watch a movie and other times you would just stay silent in the company of each other, only listening to your calm breaths until you would fall asleep and Bucky would put a blanket on you and continue to look at you for the rest of the night.

At first it was a little odd, but as time went on your friendship evolved. It wasn’t only the nocturnal rendez-vouz anymore, but you started spending more time with each other, training together too until Steve decided to finally let Bucky go on a mission with you and making you partners for most of them.

It was actually very pleasing to see Bucky become better and better everyday. Meanwhile your friendship was becoming stronger and your feelings getting deeper. Seeing more and more of the Bucky that Steve used to describe in his stories was the best thing you could hope for. However, the fact that Bucky was always touching you, hugging you, snuggling with you in his room while reading or watching movies and even sometimes cuddling when you fell asleep together wasn’t helping you at all. You welcomed all these things but you never said anything about what you felt, scared to ruin your friendship.

Now here you were, perched on his lap, as if sitting in a bed of nails, while feeling the eyes of Black Widow, staring at you with her peripheral vision while she was whispering something to Wanda.

You had been driving for almost half an hour, only listening to Sam commentary about every song that came on the radio and the whispering of Natasha and Wanda on your left.

Bucky was stiff beneath you but he was silent, having rested his head on the windshield and his eyes closed, but it was obvious he wasn’t sleeping. He let a long sigh escape his lips and only then you turned your head to look at him.

“I’m sorry, I know you’re uncomfortable and…” you began but he cut you off, explaining that he was just tired but it wasn’t because of you at all.

You gave him a sympathetic look. “Couldn’t get any sleep last night, could you?”

He only shook his head no.

“You can put your head on my shoulder and try to sleep a little now.” You suggested without thinking twice. He gave you a sweet smile and did as you said.

His head came to rest on your shoulder, his face hidden in the crook of your neck and you could feel his breath tickling the skin it hit softly.

He let out another sigh and closed his eyes.

The others were just looking at you two, not saying anything at all, until Sam decided to turn off the radio and play a song from his phone.

Put your head on my shoulder

Hold me in your arms, baby

Squeeze me, oh so tight

Show me

That you love me too

Natasha let out a chuckle at the choice of the song and you rolled your eyes, flipping Sam off. He just winked at you and let the song play in a relatively low volume.

A few minutes had passed, the song had changed and you were all enjoying the ride in silence.

You were silently mouthing the lyrics of “Every breath you take” when suddenly the car came to a halt, causing you to stumble forward and you were gonna get hurt if it wasn’t for Bucky’s hands gripping your waist and holding you in place.

“What the hell, punk?”

“Sorry Buck, guys.” Came the apologetic reply from Steve. “There was a dog crossing the road and I didn’t want to hurt him.”

You sighed and grabbed a hold of the seat behind Bucky’s head, the other hand on your lap. Bucky’s hands were still gripping your waist, but a little more loosely now, as Steve started the car once again.

Bucky resumed to his previous position, nuzzling his face in your neck once again. Your hand that was behind his head slowly found the way to his hair and you began to play with his hair, an action he welcomed with a smile spreading on his lips that you felt in your neck.

You rested your head on top of his, but your hand didn’t stop caressing his hair, playing with the long chocolate locks and twirling them between your fingers.

You closed your eyes and decided you were finally comfortable enough to at least let yourself enjoy the rest of the drive. It was going to be a long one for that matter, so you decided spending the whole thing as if you were sitting on glass wasn’t the best thing you could do.

After only a few moments you felt Bucky’s metal hand touch your hand that was resting on your lap and silently taking it to join your other hand in his hair. You smiled to yourself but obliged, putting now both of your hands in work and giving him this way double the pleasure.

It wasn’t long after that you felt his heavy breathing against your neck and realised he was finally asleep. You were glad he could finally get some rest so you made the best you could to not move, trying to maintain the comfort you gave him. So with nothing else to do you closed your eyes too and decided you could take a nap too. You could hear your friends whispering with each other but you couldn’t care less about them right now. Within a few minutes you let yourself succumb in a peaceful sleep wrapped up around Bucky.

“Y/n.. hey, wake up doll.” You heard Bucky’s voice call but you were so sleepy you couldn’t find it in yourself to open your eyes.

You let out a soft groan of displeasure and only snuggled closer to his chest.

“We’re at the cabin sweetheart.” He tried again. “Why don’t you get up and we’ll get you inside, hm?”

“Mm, but I’m so comfy here..” you mumbled sleepily and heard Bucky chuckle at your words.

“So warm Buck.”

“I know, but you’ll be more comfy in a bed and warmer for sure.” He continued but you could already feel the smile that was threatening to break from his face.

Finally giving up on sleep you opened your eyes and groaned in annoyance.

You had no idea how it had happened but unlike when you fell asleep, this time you were resting your head in Bucky’s chest and he had his arms around your shoulders.

“Come on doll, let’s get you inside.” He nudged you and helped you out of the car and inside the cabin.

You found Steve, Sam, Natasha and Wanda already inside, each of them sitting in a chair, talking to each other animatedly.

“Ohh, look who finally decided to join the world of the awake.” Sam teased as soon as he noticed you and Bucky enter the place. “You slept for the whole 4 hours of the trip, you’re unbelievable.”

You just shrugged but remained close to Bucky.

“So what’s up now?” You asked.

“Okay so now we have to deal with the 'space’ situation here.” Steve took the turn to speak, his 'captain voice’ activated, as if he was briefing a mission report.

You all looked at him, waiting for him to continue, so he did.

“There are only 3 rooms here, and 6 of us. We all have to share a room with someon-”

Before he could finish his word Wanda cut him off. “I’m with Nat.” She announced excitedly.

“Wanda!” You gave her a look.

“There’s no way in hell I’m sharing the room with Tin Man.” Came without a delay Sam’s comment.

Bucky glared at him, but said nothing as you took his hand in yours and your bag in the other hand and not waiting for any other comment or reply from the others started walking in the direction of the rooms.

“We’re going to have the room with the bathroom inside.” You said, not leaving any place for arguments, and walked to the room with Bucky. You got in and closed the door behind you with a loud thud.

You weren’t upset that you had to share a room and a bed with Bucky, after all it wasn’t the first time. What annoyed you though was the fact that your friends were doing all these things on purpose, first making you sit on Bucky’s lap during the car drive (not that you were complaining) and now this, leaving you to share the room with him.

“I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t say no to another nap Buck.” You talked first and opened your duffle bag to fish out some other clothes.

Not paying any attention to the fact that Bucky was standing in front of you, you popped open the button of your jeans and slipped out of them, getting inside a pair of cotton shorts you used as pajamas. Next to go was your shirt which you replaced with a very large grey sweatshirt you had borrowed from Bucky a few months ago.

After changing your clothes you got in bed and covered with a soft blanket without a word, while Bucky kept staring at you, like you had grown a second head.

Sure enough, he had seen you in your pajamas before, also you had changed in front of him when you were all getting dressed in your uniforms for a mission, but seeing you get changed in front of him and put on his shirt, that did stirr something inside of him he couldn’t really place.

He was glued in place and wasn’t planning to move anytime soon if it wasn’t for your voice pulling him out of the trance.

“Will you join me?” You asked simply and instead of answering verbally he too got rid of his clothes but unlike you, he didn’t get in pajamas, but headed to bed only in his black boxers and got under the blanket.

You could get used to this, you thought to yourself as he moved slightly to make himself more comfortable in bed.

“C'mere.” He offered shyly and opened his arms for you to cuddle him. You didn’t hesitate one second to do so.

You rested your head on his chest and his hands were wrapped around your shoulders, while yours were resting on his torso, tracing absent-minded patterns on his toned stomach. It was a familiar situation, you both felt safe like this.

After a few moments in total silence only enjoying the soft touches and calm breaths of each other, you finally decided to speak.

“You realise they did this on purpose, right?” You asked and turned your head to meet his eyes.

He let out a breathy laugh and nodded his head. “Yeah, they’re not very subtle you know.”

“Mhmm..”

He looked at you with adoration but you could also notice the shadow of conflict in his face. You were too afraid to ask if your friends were right to do this, or what was his opinion about it all, so you settled on approaching him differently, trying not to “corner” him with your doubts and fear of dejection.

“What is it?” You asked timidly. “What are you thinking about?”

He looked down at your face again, gave you another smile and his hand came to rest on your cheek, tracing the soft skin there.

“I’m thinking about you.” He stated simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Thinking about how happy I am to be here with you.” He continued and you gave him a smile of your own after hearing his words. You were more than happy to be there or anywhere else, as long as you were with him.

“Thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life, and now in my arms. So beautiful.”

His voice was almost a whisper as he carried on.

“I’m thinking I was so stupid to make you wait all this time and to make myself wait when you have been always in front of me. It’s like you were always the answer to my every question and I have been a fool to not realize it before. I’m thinking I should have never waited for anyone to 'set us up together’ because I have been falling in love with you from the very first moment I laid my eyes on you and I shouldn’t have wasted all this time by not telling you.”

You could only listen to him and not quite believing the words leaving his mouth. It was like you were frozen in place by his confession. And because you did nothing to stop him or interrupt him, Bucky continued pouring his heart to you.

“I’m thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life and how much you have helped me become a better man. And I’m thinking how much in love I am with you and how I have been for a very long time now.”

You gasped when he said the last words and your eyes filled with happy tears in an instant.

“And I am thinking how much I want to kiss you.” He added finally and reached out for your lips slowly, afraid to not startle you.

You stared into his ocean eyes and when your eyes flickered to his lips for a second, you started leaning closer to kiss him too, but the magic of the moment was interrupted by a loud knock on your door.

“Dinner’s ready!” You heard Wanda’s voice on the other side and Bucky groaned in annoyance.

“We’ll eat later.” He spoke up for her to listen and only when he heard the answer of agreement from her he focused on your lips again, this time closing the gap between the two of you.

His metal hand found home in the back of your head and the other one was still around your shoulders, holding you close to him. His lips were soft and sweet and everything you had wished for and his kiss was breathtaking. You poured all you had in the kiss and only when it was hard to breathe you broke it off.

He had a sweet smile on his face while you were feeling drugged on his taste and staring at his now swollen lips you pecked him once again before speaking.

“I’m thinking I’m very much in love with you too.” You talked slowly.

He laughed heartily and attacked your lips once again with the sweetest assault possible.

It was going to be a great weekend.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagines

[thebluenoteblog]

Rebound

Summary: You really didn't handle the break up well, that is after all, how you ended up in the bed of a member of the opposing team the night before a big game. What could possible go wrong (spoiler: a lot).

Player: Colton Parayko

Word Count: 2500

Warnings: Drunk one night stand and cursing. 

***Tyler Seguin is sort of the bad guy in this fic. I have nothing against him. I’ve written many fics about him. I just wanted to play on a central devision rivalry and this is an old fic. At the time he was the only player on one of those teams that I knew enough about to write without having to google anything. I did not mean to offend anyone and I would like to clarify that this is just a story and I do not think that he would actually do this in real life.***

You tossed back yet another shot, knowing somewhere in the recesses of your fuzzy brain that you really shouldn’t. You should have stopped three drinks ago. You should have stopped the first time you almost fell off your barstool. The bartender should have cut you off. But none of that happened. Instead you pursed your lips at the burn in the back of your throat as the liquor ran down it for the umpteenth time that night.

Your phone was dead, and you had no idea how you were getting back to the hotel, at this point you didn’t care. It had been so long since you had seen Colton outside of work and you were broken. You couldn’t remember how to function. Going to work every day, taking pictures of the boys for the social media accounts, seeing him on the ice, on the plane, and not being able to touch him or talk to him… everyone knowing that things ended… you couldn’t do it anymore.

You were days away from checking yourself into the hospital. For your liver’s safety and your own. If you were in the hospital though, you lost all of your crutches, liquor and rebounds, and you couldn’t call Colton at five in the morning and pray that he would answer.

He usually did, because that was the kind of man that Colton was. He wanted to make sure you didn’t need anything important. Someday he would stop answering. That thought had you ordering another drink.

“Let me buy that for you?” A voice asked from behind you, you turned your head and stumbled a little. A hand reached out and steadied you, landing on your back. “Careful,” He laughed.

Bingo, you found a ride home. And a crutch for the night. He was cute. Tall. Not as tall as Colton by any meaning of the word, but that was good. You didn’t want that. He didn’t look anything like Colton. That was exactly what you needed. He looked oddly familiar, but you were too far gone to place it. “Sure,” you said.

“You aren’t from Dallas, are you?” He asked, taking in your faded blues t-shirt.

You shook your head as he sat down, and you closed your eyes, the motion making your head spin, “No, I’m from St. Louis. Just visiting for a couple days.” Your words were barely slurred, and you were surprised that you were stringing that many together coherently. You must be spending too much time drunk. Your poor liver.

The bartender delivered your shot and it was gone in a second. You made the same face you’d made before, he was smiling at you when you opened your eyes. He handed the bartender a card, “Cover her tab,” he said.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said, making a sound of protest.

He waved a hand, “Its nothing.”

“You underestimate how much I’ve had to drink,” you responded.

He shrugged, “Like I said, it’s nothing.”

The two of you talked for a little while, you avoided what you were doing in Dallas and he didn’t mention what he did for a living. Eventually, you said, “Do you want to get out of here?” your head was still fuzzy but you were starting to sober up a bit and you were pretty sure that you could walk by that point.

“Fuck yes,” he said, and he placed his hand on your back as he showed you to his car.

****************

You woke up the next morning to an alarm going off, naked, in the bed of a strange man. You snapped your eyes open and were immediately thankful that you were mostly immune to hangovers. You jerked up in bed and noticed the naked form of Tyler fucking Seguin lying next to you. This was a new low. Even for you. As the social media manager for the Blues, you couldn’t be hooking up with the Alternate captain of the Dallas Stars. It just wasn’t something that would fly if anyone found out.

Besides the fact that they were playing tonight, and you didn’t want to think about all the chirping that would occur if Seguin found out you were Colton’s ex-girlfriend. It was a nightmare waiting to happen. Thank god neither of them were fighters. Not that you would expect Colton to pick a fight over you after all of his insisting that he didn’t care about you, but it was a pride thing.

If everyone heard a guy say he fucked your girl the night before, and he was clearly serious, even if it was your ex-girl, you were all but contractually obligated to hit him. It was like in the unwritten rules of hockey.

You jumped out of bed and began gathering your clothes, praying that Seguin was a heavy sleeper and you would get out of the room before he woke up to the sound of the alarm. Unfortunately, that mission was a failure. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you back onto the bed. “No round two?” He asked, “No good morning kiss?”

You hesitated, then decided that this would be a good time to come as close to clean as you could without endangering lives. “I’m in Dallas because I’m the Blues social media manager. I was to drunk last night to realize who you were and now that I know, I can’t sleep with you in good conscience,” you paused as a look of understanding dawned on his face, “They would run me out of my office with torches and pitchforks if they found out.”

Seguin released you and backed up, “Jesus, I didn’t realize you were that drunk.”

You nodded as you pulled your shirt over your head, “Well, this was fun. Don’t mention it to anyone. And I mean anyone.”

“What, do you think they’ll fire you over it or something?” He asked, leaning back against his headboard, not seeming to care that he was barely covered by a thin sheet, “You’re a big girl. I’m sure they understand that you have needs.”

“And they expect me not to meet them with the opposing team the night before a big game on a road trip,” you said, covering your tracks, “I have to go, I’m supposed to get pictures of morning skate for the accounts.”

He shrugged, “Whatever you say.”

************

Colton had a shit night. He hadn’t slept worth a damn. He’d laid in bed and stared at his phone, waiting for your five am call that usually came but sometimes didn’t. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what happened on the nights that your calls didn’t come. He was always an emotional mess the next day, but he played his best. Big aggressive hits and hard shots that tore the net and shattered the glass. He’d accidentally hit Binner so hard in the mask with a puck one day at practice after you didn’t call that the poor guy had to sit out for a solid five minutes.

Today was bad though, because you were in Dallas, and what the fuck were you doing out in Dallas? Who were you with? Were you safe? All those thoughts raced through his head at twice the rate they normally did. You knew people back home. You had friends. He could convince himself that you were just busy with the girls. This was different.

He made his way down to morning skate and as all the guys entered the ice, he saw you standing at one of the Zamboni entrances. He was tempted to skate over to you and ask why you hadn’t called the previous night, but instead he just skated a circle around the rink, noticing when he did that you had a hickey on your neck. Mostly concealed by foundation and a jacket, something one would only notice if they were looking for it like he was. He ground his teeth on his mouth guard and focused his eyes forward.

***************

The puck dropped at seven o’clock and Seguin started a brawl at seven fifteen. It was between face-offs, they were just standing next to each other and he said, “So funny, I found out who runs your social media accounts.” He was met with a blank stare from Colton, so he continued, on a mission to throw the giant of a defensemen off his game. “Well anyway, I found her personal Instagram and it turns out the two of you used to be a couple!” He laughed “isn’t that funny? She hasn’t taken your pictures down yet, you know?”

By this point, they had started to draw a small crowd. The team knew how sensitive of a subject you were for Colton. If there was any way to get him to drop gloves, this just might be it. “Why is that funny?” Colton asked, going stiff. He thought back to the lack of a phone call and the hickey on your neck. No. You would never screw another hockey player. Not a Star. Not someone with a reputation like Seguin’s. You wouldn’t do that to him no matter how much he hurt you.

Still, the longer he stared down into Seguin’s eyes, the less he believed what he was telling himself.

“Well, it’s funny because I fucked her last night.” He said, a devious and amused look on his face.

Blood was pounding in Colton’s ears so loudly that he almost didn’t hear the next part of his statement.

“She’s a freak, but you already knew that didn’t you?”

A few things happened at once. First, the refs gave up on the face off upon hearing what Seguin said. Second, Colton threw his stick on the ground, shook off his gloves and pounced like a lion on a gazelle. He didn’t even wait for Seguin to drop his gloves first, though he did a second later, before the refs even made it over to break up the fight. All the stars were on Colton, trying to stop him and pull him off of Seguin who was definitely not a fighter and did not have size or anger on his side.

His teammates had his back though because they all grabbed a different guy and went to town. Within seconds they had a full-on line brawl and the refs were struggling to decide who to break up first. They both seemed slightly hesitant to mess with Colton who looked ready to murder and Seguin was now on the ice but still fighting back as much as he could when pinned to the ground. He was bleeding, his nose looked broken at the very least. Both refs grabbed a shoulder and pried Colton off of him.

Colton seemed to realize what he was doing and backed off. He stood up, raising to his full six-foot six height and looked over to where he knew you were standing, mouth agape and camera hanging limply by your side. He knew you would be pissed and confused. He hung his head, equally pissed at himself and skated off the ice, head hung, running a bloody knuckled hand through his hair as he headed straight to the locker room, leaving his equipment on the ice and not even waiting to be told that he was being called for a ten-minute misconduct. It was obvious. The trainers were already making their way to Seguin. Besides, his hands needed to be iced or they would be bruised too deep to move his fingers tomorrow.

****************

Colton was sitting on his couch staring at the wall, wondering how on earth he’d managed to avoid a suspension when he heard a knock on his door. He made his way across the house and pulled it open to revel you, standing out in the snow in nothing but a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. “Jesus (Y/N), you have to be freezing.” He said, pulling you inside and closing the door behind you.

You were shivering but he knew you would never admit to being cold. “I came to tell you you’re an idiot,” you said.

He paused and furrowed his bows. “You came all the way here to tell me that?”

“You got a game misconduct on your nearly pristine record because you let something some guy said about me get to you. You’re an idiot, you said, crossing your arms.

He pushed his lips together and took in a deep breath before responding, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t get suspended. Those refs went to bat for you. That and your reputation are the only thing that saved you.”

“I said I’m sorry okay!” He snapped, “It hurt!”

You looked taken aback, “What hurt?” You asked.

He sighed, “You being with someone else. It hurts. It hurts so fucking much.”

“You’re going to stand there and tell me you haven’t been with anyone in the last two months?” You asked him, your chin rising in defiance.

“Yes, (Y/N), because I can’t.” He said shaking his head. He took a step closer to you. All of the times that he’d wanted to touch you since the two of you had split crashing down on him and crushing his will power. “I still love you and it feels so wrong to look at anyone else.”

You sucked in a shaky breath, “You left me. You broke up with me.”

“It was the biggest mistake I ever made.” Colton said, finally bringing his hand up to rest on your cheek. “You don’t know how sorry I am.”

“What are you saying, Colt?” You asked, looking up into his eyes, ignoring the bruise on his jaw that made you unreasonably angry.

He swallowed roughly, “I’m asking you to forgive me (Y/N), I’m asking you to take me back.”

You blinked your eyes closed and a tear ran down your cheek. He swept it away with his large thumb. “I forgive you, Colt. I could never hold a grudge against you.”

“But?” He asked quietly.

“But… how will I ever trust that you won’t leave me again?”

He resisted the urge to pull you tight against him and press his lips against yours and prove to you in a thousand ways, just how dedicated he was to never leaving your side again. Instead he said, “Baby, if you take me back, I will do anything in the world to prove to you that I will never hurt you again. I’ll spend as much time with you as I can. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. Anything. Just for you. Just please,” He said, dropping his head to meet your eyes as you opened them, “Give me another chance.”

You swallowed roughly and studied him. After a moment, you said, “You don’t have to take me anywhere. I just want you.”

This time, he didn’t stop himself. He pulled you into his arms and pressed his lips against yours, putting all the emotions that he had been suffering behind it.

#colton parayko #colton parayko imagine #Colton Parayko imagines #hockey imagines #nhl imagine

[khlowx]

Whumptober 2020 ! (Haikyuu!!)

Prompt list by Angsy_Cheez-it on Wattpad.

English isn’t my first language sorry if there are mistakes.

Warnings : Confrontations, leaving home, crying, panic attack, resentment, hatred, coming back home, self-doubt, past...

Day 31 : Showdown. (Iwaizumi/Oikawa)

Oikawa stared at the Olympic Stadium. Today, Argentina was playing against Japan. And he wasn’t on the last one’s team. He knew all eyes would be on him. Chibi-chan had certainly let slip the fact that he was on the other side of the world now. He couldn’t have hidden it longer, anyway.

“- You’re gonna see that friend of yours soon ! one of his teammate stopped his train of thoughts. The small one we saw in Brazil, the ginger one ! What was his name again ?

- Hinata. Hinata Shouyou.

- You must be pretty excited !”

It was true. He was really happy to see the former crow again. But, on the other hand, he was terrified to see all of the others. Sure, he liked Hinata, but the ninja was nothing compared to his… friends ? Teammates ? Rivals ? The ones he had left without saying a word to, many years ago. Today, he could only call them past acquaintances, parts of his life he gave up in order to get where he was now.

Iwa-chan was probably the one he regretted the more to have hurt. He could only imagine if instead of himself, it had been Hajime that left suddenly without an explanation, his parents being forbidden to say anything on where he was and what he was doing. It must have been an indescribable pain he had felt. And judging by the pure rage written all over his face, it really had been.

“- Oikawa.” the man growled after having come back to his senses.

The door of the men’s toilets shut behind his back in a loud thump. Tooru didn’t mean to flinch, but, well, he did.

“- Iwa-chan ! he tried to sound relaxed and to smile but he failed miserably.

- Don’t call me that. You lost that privilege when you left nine years ago. the athletic trainer snarled, taking a step forward when the other recoiled.

- Fair enough… this latter mumbled, avoiding eye contact pointedly.

- So that was where you went. Hidden in Argentina huh ? the black-haired man scoffed, voice full of scorn.

- I wasn’t hiding. the Argentinian player said, eyebrows frowned.

- Oh please. You knew all of your rivals would become pro and you realized there wasn’t any place for you. So you ran away. That’s pathetic but understandable.

- I didn’t-

- You ran away ! That’s what you did, don’t even try to deny it ! You left nothing ! Not even a text, a letter or- or- !”

Hajime fell silent, clenching his fists and jaw. He was staring at his ex-best friend with all the hatred he had, and it was a lot. His eyes were dark, full of scorn. He exhaled shakily, eyelids fluttering shut for a second.

“- You know what ? That’s fine. You didn’t matter. None of us needed you in their life. For me, for Mattsun, for Makki, for all of our former teammates, even for Kageyama and Ushijima, you were and still are a loser. Today’s match will just be another proof of your mediocrity and of how untalented you are.”

He didn’t even blink when the tears started to flow down the other man’s cheeks. Iwaizumi simply turned his back on him and walked out. Oikawa slumped to the floor, curling on himself. What a fool he had been to even thought he had hurt them by leaving. They were just relieved. He didn’t mean anything for them.

As Tooru was standing on the Argentinian team’s side of the court, several hours later, he observed every single one of his opponents. Some of them were still surprised, even though he had the confirmation that Hinata had told them. Hajime was on the bench, staring at him with equal determination. He had seen Hanamaki and Matsukawa in the bleachers just before the first whistle, along some others. He would give his best, for his actual teammates that appreciated and loved him for what he truly was, and above all, for his own pride and dignity. He was going to show them.

The feeling of winning an Olympics’ match was so worth waiting years, never going to Nationals in High School, leaving all of the things he had loved behind. As the ball fell on the other side of the court, just between Yaku and Hinata, Oikawa felt the tears coming up again. The final whistle resonated in the stadium, outdid by the supporters’ screams of joy or sadness. The Great King watched as all of his rivals fell to the floor, screaming in frustration, crying, defeated.

Some of his own teammates ran to him, eager to celebrate with him but he just said “back in a minute” and walked to the bench.

He bypassed all the Japan’s players, not even bothering to look down on them. He smiled weakly at Hinata, the only one he still estimated. His face went neutral again when he faced the team’s athletic trainer. Hajime stood up, returning his glance for the last time.

“- This, this is why I left all of you for. None of you could have brought me the victory, let alone you. I don’t need you. I never did. You were just a burden for me, Iwaizumi.”

I-w-a-i-z-u-m-i.

Damn.

That hurt.

NOTE : Finally ! That’s the last one, oof. Thank you very much for all of those who fav, reblog, etc ! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing this ! :D

#whumptober #2020 #whumptober2020 #angst #haikyuu!! #iwaoi #oiiwa #Iwaizumi Hajime #oikawa tōru #iwaizumi x oikawa

[raysreads]

Fractured Gravestones

The best stories are made of shattered glass.

They’re beautiful, they’re tragic, they’re sad, they’re hopeful, they’re so very bittersweet.

Whenever I experience a new story I always focus on the tragic side of it. Not because I like the despair, though that does play some distant and twisted role, it’s because of what the tragedy brings out in the characters. I love following their path, how they start as innocent children and slowly come to the horrific realization of what sentient beings can do. How even with the darkness they still fight, they still love, they still bleed...all for what they believe in, because they won’t just give up. 

No. 

They fight for life and freedom because it is right, and because no one else will. 

Maybe that's why my favorite stories are so sad sometimes.

An alien who travels across time, galaxies, universes and multiverses. Who has loved and lost more than anyone should. Who cannot be alone because he might become exactly what he fights. Who fell in love with a woman who became trapped and married a woman he met completely out of order and died upon their meeting. A man who saves and sacrifices and hurts and bleeds and asks for nothing in return. When will his time run out? When will it stop being ‘one last miracle’?

An Ice cold detective and his doctor, who run around solving crimes that no one else can. A genius who feels so fiercely that he shuts off all emotion to avoid getting hurt - again. A soldier who came home empty and is horrified to find that he misses the war. He faked his death once, who says it won't be real next time?

Two brothers and their angel who travel across the country in an old impala, fighting things of nightmares that most believe to be myth and legend. Going against all odds, against their own people, for what they believe is right. An angel always willing to bleed for them, family that would end the world for each other. They’ve died many times. when will it be permanent?

A boy drafted into a war before he was even born, who had a lightning bolt scar and a destiny he couldn't fight, and blood on his hands before he was twelve. One who grew up too fast and learned too quickly that magic wasn't always the stuff of childish dreams. His best friend who thinks he's not enough, youngest of 6 brothers who feels like his achievements don't matter. And the Brightest witch of her age, quick as a whip who saved her boys again and again. They are all drowning in blood before they are legally adults, red-stained hands leaving sticky smears in their wake, staining everything they touch. They were child soldiers, willing or not. When will the nightmares stop?

A hero of godly parentage who went to war at 16 and then was put through another before he became an adult. A boy with a loving mother who never gave up on him, an amazing half-goat best friend who would face the worst of his fears to save his life, and a girlfriend who he would bend heaven and earth for. He’s faced gods and monsters that grown men would fear, killed things that have devoured men thrice his age, bested those terrifying things repeatedly. When will the Gods leave him alone?

A group from the FBI who have been shot at, cut, imprisoned, isolated, blown up, and tortured. A genius who became addicted, a media liaison who lost a child, an ex-lawyer who lost a wife, an author dragged from retirement, a man forced to confront his traumatic past, an interpol agent made to fake her death, a bright and happy technical analyst made to see horrors before her screens every day. They are beaten, bruised and broken. How many horrific ways can someone think of killing. Why must their lives be paved with the bodies of victims never saved?

The MCRT from NCIS who have been betrayed, manipulated and hurt. Who have seen teammates die and families burn. A marine whose wife and child were murdered, an agent with a frat boy mask who almost died from the plague, an ex-mossad agent of a cracked family, an MIT graduate who was woken to real life too soon, a peppy forensic scientist whose optimism became dull, a medical examiner with a sick mother and his insecure assistant. How will they move on if everything they love keeps withering away?

A team of enhanced human beings; some with magic, some with power, some with pure skill; who help people. The universe was full of aliens and monsters and horrors untold. They kill them and incarcerate them and save the earth again and again and again from people much smarter, stronger and way more powerful than themselves. How much luck do they have? When will they go on a mission and not come back?

A Demon and an Angel in a bookshop in Soho who prevented the apocalypse. A Demon who loves plants and stares at galaxies that he helped create, never able to visit again. An angel with a love of books and food who must ‘always obey’ ‘never fail’. Two celestial beings who gave up everything for humanity and each other, and would do so again in a heartbeat. When will that not be enough? When must they let go?

There are many more stories; some popular, some obscure; but it always comes down to loving something or someone so much that you would sacrifice anything, even your own life, for it. 

And I love that.

Sure it’s sad, Kids killed. Dreams squandered. Hearts shattered. Souls bruised. Hope broken… But it has a sort of beauty, the fact that they keep fighting and loving and dreaming and helping despite that, because of that. 

Because no one deserves to go through the same pain they did.

#sherlock #doctor who #supernatural #Harry Potter #percy jackson #good omens #criminal minds #ncis #marv #avengers #i made myself sad #im sorry

[damndaehyung]

Chapter Three :  The Art of Friends?

John Tucker Must Die Au Included : Daniel, Tara, Tyler, Jaehyun Mentioned: Emily, Minah, Jane, Sungjae, Mark, Maude

“You know when you said you wanted to hang out i didn’t think we’d be in the library,” Mia said with a light laugh. Daniel looked away from the book he was pretending to read to look her over.

“Really? But you dressed for it?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “And we will go soon i just need to -” he said, craning his neck as one of the boys from the party stood at the table Emily and her friends were sitting at.

“Spy on your cousin, it would be sweet if it wasn’t just a little bit creepy,” she suggested. “And you are being rude to your only friend on campus, i personally think i look good, it’s boho chic,” she said flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“It’s grandma chic, are you into the whole cottage core thing? I’d take the gym wear trend of last week back if this is what you’ve been reduced to,” he said with a shake of his head. “And i am being protective, I’ve seen these college boys and i know for a fact none of them will ever be good enough,” he said with a glare.

“You sound exactly like my dad did when he first met my boyfriend,” Mia laughed. “And that is next week i am dragging you to CrossFit and then we will see if you keep mocking me,” she said smirking, “I am going to love watching you suffer,”she grinned clapping gleefully.

“Point?” Daniel asked. “Do you know these boys? Just give me a name i can get my guys to -” he started only to see Minah and Jane walking in sitting at a table three rows back, his nose scrunched up at them, due to those two and their co-conspirator, Emily wouldn’t talk to him for a day and made him wear sandals for a whole day. The only positive was that their plan seemed to fall completely flat, he would feel a little bad for her but sandals goddamnit sandals!

“I am just going to ignore the fact you have guys,” Mia said with a shudder. “Friends of yours?” she asked nodding towards Minah and Jane.

“No, I don’t even know them,” Daniel said, he must have pulled a face because Mia began to laugh. “Oh sure Daniel, you glaring pretty hard at some people you don’t know,” she said shaking her head. “Look how about we go, I haven’t had lunch, we can go that cafe you always go to, you can check that boy out,” she said in a sing-song voice.

“Just give me a sec,” he said, wanting to double-check on his cousin only to be blocked by a Gucci polo cladded torso, he looked up to see Tyler Lee standing in front of him. “The Children’s section is on the third floor so if you don’t mind,” Daniel said making a shooing gesture to him.

“Funny,” Tyler deadpanned with an eye-roll. “Daniel right?” he said taking the seat across from him. “Doing some light reading i see,” he said picking up the book Daniel had been pretending to read. “Hemmingway,” he said. “Your such a lovely temperature,” he continued.

“Are you lost?” Daniel asked. “And are you implying i am sick?” he said cocking an eyebrow.

“He was quoting Hemingway, babe,” Mia said. “And with that, i’ll go… look for a book i guess,” she said before standing up leaning down to whisper if Daniel’s needs her to she will set off the fire alarm. As she left Tyler turned around to look at her as she left.

“Don’t even think about,” Daniel said causing him to turn back to face him. “She has a boyfriend and from what I’ve been told you aren’t her type,’ he said.

“You are assuming a lot about a person you’ve never met before,” Tyler said with a frown. “You know if i didn’t know better i would think you didn’t like me,” he said with a sheepish smile.

“What do you want?” Daniel said with an eye-roll getting straight to the point.

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“Can you get me another drink,” Tyler said to his friend of the night, the girl - Amelia maybe? slid off his lap, leaning down and pulling him into a heated kiss before leaving with a wink, her hips swaying as she made way across the room.

“You really look heartbroken, I mean you broke up with three girls,” Jaehyun said sitting on the couch across from him, joint in hand and girl pressed to his side.

“Four actually,” Tyler smirked, “But Maude isn’t taking it so well,” he shrugged. “I might keep her around after all,” he said bringing his drink to his lips. “I am surprised you are here, you know after Jane,” he smirked looking his teammate, he not only stole his girl but he had her in everyways and then dumped her.

“I am over it,” Jaehyun said, “she is just a girl,” he shrugged,” though i am surprised about Minah, i thought you actually had a thing for her and you know Gabe,” he said.

“He’ll get over it,” Tyler shrugged. “And yeah i did but once i got her man, she just lost all my fascination,” he said. “Maybe I’ll try to win her back, you know if i get bored,” he said.

“So what’s next for the great Tyler Lee?” Jaehyun asked as a girl came to sit beside Tyler.

“What’s your name?”

“Sophia,” she answered, the smallest hint of a blush on her cheeks. Well, this would be way to easy.

“There you go Jae, Sophia is next,” he said grabbing her hand and pulling her up as Amelia returned with his drinks. “And Amelia, If you’ll excuse me, lads,” he said with a wink wrapping his arms around both girls shoulders. “I’ll see you in a bit,” he said leading the girls to a bedroom.

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“Do i have to want something?” Tyler asked, sounding surprisingly hurt. “You really don’t think too highly of me which is a little surprising considering you don’t know me,” he pointed out.

“Yet you know my name, seems a little odd considering you don’t know me don’t you think,” he pointed out. “Your little oh woe me act might work on your harem of girls but i have no time for this -” he said.

“Okay ouch,” Tyler said rubbing at his heart. “Look i think you got the wrong idea about me?”

“Daniel, Tyler, What a coincidence,” Tara exclaimed as she walked into their section of the library an evil grin on her face. “I didn’t know you two know each other?” she said sliding Mia’s now empty seat. Daniel frowned he was surrounded by every Lee but the one he actually wouldn’t mind seeing right right now. “We don’t,” Daniel said bluntly. “And since you are here to keep your charming brother company i should get going, I have a friend to meet -” he said moving to stand up only to get pushed down by Tara.

“Oh, I just thought it was nice of my brother to show an interest in a new student,” she said sweetly, putting particular emphasis on the word interest. Daniel was acutely aware of what she was pointing out, she had somehow managed to trick her older brother into some sort of pursuit of Daniel and now he had to hold up his end of the deal.

“How do you two know each other?” Tyler asked looking between Daniel and Tara. “I would have thought Tara would have introduced me to such an interesting friend,” he said.

“Were fucking,” Daniel said as Tyler spluttered.. “Yeah she wants to see if she can turn a gay man straight, its a weird social experiment but what can i do,” Daniel continued as both Lee siblings glared at him.

“Oh Daniel,” Tara sighed shaking her head and giggling fondly. “ He is just embarrassed because i found him crying in a cafe, his boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, Sungjae had just dumped him,” Tara said cooing sympathetically, Daniel gasped in offence, what an unbelievable lie, he had never been dumped in his life.

“Oh that’s too bad,” Tyler said not sounding sympathetic at all, Daniel eye’s narrowed did he actually believe that someone would dump him. His hand tightened on a pen wondering which one he should stab, the younger Lee sibling who put such an ugly and terrible thought into the universe or the older one who apparently believed someone like Daniel was dumpable. Oh if only he had two pens that would solve all his problems. “My girlfriend, well ex,’ Tyler said frowning, “we broke up recently as well, i know how hard that can be,” he said acting like he was genuinely cut up about. “If you ever need a friend who knows what it’s like -” he trailed. Oh, he was good playing the poor broken-hearted boy.

Daniel is a man of his word but after hearing, Tara say he got dumped, yet alone dumped by Sungjae, he was going to have fun with this, He sniffed, looking down and wiping at his eyes. “That is so nice of you,” Daniel ‘bashfully’ looking down as he wrung his hands together. “And while I appreciate the offer it wouldn’t be fair, not after you got your heart broken and what happened to Tara,” he said looking at Tara with a small frown. “She was just saying how lucky she had you to help her start to move on after Matt -” he said looking at Tara sympathetically.

“It’s Mark,” Tyler filled in.

“Oh yes, Mark but does he really deserve a name? After breaking your sweet little sister's heart like that?”He said, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “I wish i had a brother like you,” he said. “Such a good brother who is always looking out for his sister and never getting involved unless you were asked,” he said, biting the inside of his cheek to stop him smirking at the way Tara was fuming.

“Well when it comes to family,” Tyler said before Tara cut him off.

“Maybe you should give Daniel some tips his younger cousin is apparently having some boy trouble,” Tara said. “Anyway i should get going Enzo is waiting for me,” she said standing up, purposely stepping on Daniel’s toes. “I am so sorry, maybe you should get Tyler to kiss them better,” she said in a faux sweet tone.

“Ah, Tara foot fetishes aren’t hereditary are they? I am sure your brother isn’t into that” Daniel said looking from Tara and the back to Tyler expectantly.

“Funny,” Tara commented, sounding exactly like her older brother. “I’ll be seeing you around, bye, “ she said, sending a glare Daniel’s way and a fake smile Tyler’s way before walking away from them.

“If we are going to be friends maybe don’t joke about my sister’s sex life,” Tyler said through gritted teeth as Daniel broke out into a fit of giggles.

“Friends?” Daniel laughed. “I don’t think so,” he said shaking his head. “Look I am sure you are a great guy and all,” Daniel said, “And i appreciate your offer truly,” he said holding a hand to his heart. “But i am pretty sure i am not your type of friend and i am very sure you aren’t my type of friend so instead of pretending to tolerate each other maybe this conversation should be our last,” Daniel said nodding, he thought he was very impartial and definitely not rude.

“My type of friend?” Tyler asked with an eyebrow raised. “You really do have me wrong, let me guess you just think i am some dumb jock who parties all the time and sleeps with anything in a skirt,” he said as Daniel nodded, at least he was self-aware, gold star to Tyler for self-awareness. “Are you really just going to believe the rumours? Look i might have been like that in the past but after Minah - “ he said pausing fist clenching as he grimaced,”that’s my ex,” he said as if it physically hurt him to say her name. “After we broke, i did some heavy self-reflection and didn’t like what i see,” he said.

“I personally love looking at my reflection, i am very pretty,” Daniel cut in. “Sorry go on, you did some self-reflection and thought you know what would be a good way to show you’ve changed then to befriend the new gay guy? Seems a little suss if you ask me?” Daniel said. “Surely you can see why i wouldn’t believe this -” he said gesturing to Tyler. “If you are trying to prove to that girl you’ve changed i think there might be more effective ways” he continued.

“I get why you would think that,” Tyler said, “But i think you are making a lot of assumptions,” he said. “But you don’t exactly have the best reputation and i can see why,” he said with a shake of his head. “But i am sure you are more than just an arrogant pretty boy,” he said.

“Not really -” Daniel shrugged as his phone chimed, he grabbed frowning as an unfamiliar number messaged him. He raised an eyebrow ‘we are watching you’ he rolled his eyes as another message came through ‘you are meant to be making him fall in love with you’ Daniel scoffed throwing his phone down. “But i suppose it wouldn’t be too bad having a male friend, Mia is great but -” he shrugged.

Tyler beamed and Daniel thought that if he wasn’t such a douchebag he would have actually been cute. “Yeah stop smiling like that i am a notoriously awful friend,” Daniel said waving a hand dismissively. “Are you sure you want to be friends though? I mean despite me being awful and vain people have a habit of falling for me, you think you can resist me?” he said fluttering his eyelashes at Tyler.

Tyler smirked. “If anything i think it might be the other way around,” he said. Daniel rolled his eyes snorting in disbelief, shaking his head.

“If that helps you sleep at night than you think that,” Daniel said standing up. “Now while this has been .. “ Daniel trailed making a so so gestures. “I have better things to do,” he said grabbing his things.” See you around Tyler,” he said walking away.

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“Truth or Dare?” Tyler laughed. “Aren’t we a little too old for that?” he said looking at Jaehyun and a few of his other teammates.

‘Sounds like Tyler Lee is scared,” Jaehyun laughed loudly, “Can’t even play a little truth and dare now,” he continued as their audience started to snigger. “Did Minah or Jane get your balls in the break-up?” he teased. “Oh don’t tell me it was Maude,” he snorted. Tyler growled, his hand squeezing the can he had been drinking hard enough for it to bend and spill over the girl who was currently cuddled up on him.

“Are you going let him talk to you like that Captian?” One of the younger guys asked.

“Of course not Jaehyun just talks big talk because his mouth isn’t good at anything else, Jane told me about your performance issues bro,” he said smirking at the dark look that crossed Jaehyun’s face. “But you know what I’d humour you, you already know what i am going to say, dare,” he said shrugging.

“Well since we all know you have the ability to charm the pants off any girl, I was wondering what the limits to your charms are,” Jaehyun said as Tyler grinned, as the girl started to kiss his jawline. . He made a go on gesture telling Jaehyun to keep going. “ I want to know if the great Tyler Lee can get a boy fall for him,” he said. Tyler’s jaw clenched as he shifted moving the girl off his lap.

“You are joking right?” Tyler said. “You might be into that but i am not gay Jae,” he said with a glare.

“Clever and i know that Tyler which is exactly why it’s even more fun, imagine how legendary you would be if you could make a boy fall for you as well,” he said. “You wouldn’t actually have to do anything with the guy, just get him to say he loves you by the time finals come around,” he continued.

“I am already legendary,” Tyler scoffed. “And what would i get if i managed to pull this off?” he asked with an eyebrow raised. “Come on Jung you can’t just expect to do this for nothing,” he said.

“I’ll quit the team,” Jaehyun said, simply causing Tyler to grin. Jaehyun tended to challenge him too much for Tyler’s liking and he didn’t need that disrespect while trying to get in the pro league.

“Fine,” Tyler shrugged. “Do you have a guy in mind?” Tyler asked.

“I decided to go easy on you, Daniel Choi,” Jaehyun said as one of the younger guys hollered and the other started oohing.

“Who?” Tyler asked wondering why they were acting like that. What was so special about this guy.

“Daniel Choi, the model guy,” One of them said. “Jaehyun was lying when he said it would be easy,” the other spoke.

“Look I get why you are confused maybe for one of you this wouldn’t be easy but I’m Tyler Lee,” Tyler said with a smirk. “Daniel Choi will be in love with me in no time,” he said already plotting on how he’d charm this guy.

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#story

[purplesurveys]

1104

survey by kaybee-x18

What was the highlight of your day? I mean, Flowers for Vases came out earlier on Spotify Philippines and I had no idea, and I waited all morning thinking the release would be in sync with US timezones so I was in for a nice surprise of a whole goddamn tracklist when I casually checked my Spotify at around 11 this morning haha. The album is beautiful and I’m so excited to take it with me on my journey to healing.

Also got paid today, so that’s shweeeeet. As a reward to myself (since I’m doing a bit of OT tonight) I also recently ordered banh mi and Vietnamese iced coffee for delivery and it’s currently on its way to me :) All in all, pretty solid day!

Do you know anyone who is anorexic? Not that I am aware of, but it’s possible that I do.

Are you dating the person you texted last? No. That would be the delivery rider who’s bringing my sandwich to me, and that is just creepy to think about.

Who has hurt you the most this year? I don’t let Gabie hurt me anymore, directly or indirectly. Everybody else has been gentle with me so far in 2021, which I appreciate.

What's the last insult someone said to you? Ugh it’ll stress me out to think about it again, but last week my mom was asking for some money and I advised her that I might not be able to just for the meantime; she immediately got all condescending, asking me how much I make in a month and what I spend it on. I thought it very rude and tactless, and it ruined the rest of my evening. I know she knows she has a tendency to be tactless, so I don’t know why she never does anything to change that behavior.

Trigger warning on a few questions belowwwww.

Was it a boy or a girl to text you last? It was a boy. Man is more proper actually, but whatever.

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Dude, it’s a Friday night and I’m on the rooftop on a chilly night, I’ve laid out a mat with some pillows and a blanket and I’m surrounded by my banh mi and iced coffee while Hayley’s new songs are playing faintly in the background. I’m right where I want to be.

Have you ever given up on someone for good? Yes, and I had no idea how incredibly liberating it would feel :)

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? I think it was my mom, since she briefly knocked on my door to say goodnight shortly before I passed out.

How much did your car cost? I’m not sure exactly how much, but it’s definitely in the six-figure range. It’s a hatchback and secondhand so there’s no way it’d be worth a million bucks.

Will you have a boyfriend/girlfriend in 6 months? No; I’ve ended up really liking being by myself. It’ll be a while before I open myself up to love again, if I ever do.

Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? One of our brand clients recently recruited a new guy to be a part of their team, so as we got acquainted I also got access to his contact details.

When was the last time you hugged someone? It was when Andi was leaving my car as we parted ways a few weeks ago.

What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Pretty sure it was work-related since my teammates share photos through Viber all the time. I can’t be bothered to check, though.

Are you better at remembering names or faces? Can easily spot familiar faces from a mile away, but I’m quite terrible at remembering names.

Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? See: the entirety of my relationship that ultimately failed. I cherished and took care of that relationship as much as I could, but the effort I got was never the same and I ended up being hurt, too. It’s going to take a while before I gain my trust and confidence back when it comes to these things.

Have you ever let someone go because you thought they deserved better? This was Gab’s perspective and reasoning, not mine. I’m starting to believe it’s all bullshit though; that it’s an excuse she used so that I could feel better about myself. At this pont in time, I’m pretty sure she just wanted to be free from this “burden” of a relationship that she increasingly found “exhausting.”

Who did you last share a taxi with? God I have not been in one of those in a long time. My last ride in an actual taxi was with my family; but in the last ride-hailing service I took (like Uber), I was by myself since I was headed to school that day.

Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? No, no reason to feel that way towards anyone at the moment.

What do you hear right now? I can hear the faint engine of a motorcycle. I can also hear a couple of dogs barking.

Do you remember the first time you met the last person you kissed? Yes.

Do you like polka-dotted things? Not always, but sure. Sometimes the look can be tacky, but there are times that it looks cute.

Do you do anything to help the environment? In my own little ways, like dividing all my notebook pages into two columns to save up on paper; reusing paper and plastic bags, turn off my car engine when I have to idle somewhere, etc.

What do you think of people who complain about Valentine's Day? I don’t care lmao, it’s not my problem.

Have you ever had to get stitches? No.

When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Trigger warning: Self-harm. Last week when I grabbed a key in my room and did stuff to my wrist with it. A few months’ progress down the drain.

What was the last thing you wore that was black? The shirt I am currently wearing is black.

Is your tongue pierced? Nope.

Do you think that you have a pretty smile? Yes, I like the way I smile.

What month were you born in? April.

When's the last time you cried over a guy? Wow lmao, literally no idea. The only instance coming to mind is whenever I miss either my grandpa or Nacho, but I can’t pinpoint the last time I found myself in tears over either.

Are you keeping a secret that would shock people if they found out? I think so.

What pissed you off yesterday? The internet has been going on and off for the last few days.

The person you like at the moment finds someone new, what is your reaction? I don’t know if I like anyone at the moment, at least not anymore. But I think I would still get affected if the word ever gets to me that my ex is seeing someone new, should it happen in the near future. That’s why I’m one step ahead and just stopped talking to her and have muted her on all social media.

Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for? I already did. I was definitely scared and devastated at first, and I was for a while. Once I came to terms with the fact that nothing was my fault and that it isn’t my loss, it became much easier to get over it.

Has anyone seen you in your underwear this month? Nah.

Is your life falling apart or coming together? Coming together.

Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? When it comes down to it, and considering my stupidity when it comes to love, yes.

Do you know anyone in the army? Yes but just vaguely. Angela’s uncle is a high-ranking...army person. Army official?? Idk how to refer to them but yeah he’s like a general or colonel or something like that.

Do you have any friends that actually model? I wouldn’t count any of them as friends but yeah, I went to high school and/or college with people who have since become influencers and have endorsement deals and stuff. Cheenie is probably the most notable one.

If you could go back in time and change something, would you? Probably.

Do you care about the last person you kissed? Again, when it comes down to it, yes.

Do they care about you? I have no idea but I don’t dwell on it anymore.

Are you for or against gay marriage? Of course I’m for.

Ever kissed someone whose name started with A, B, C, & D? No to all of these.

Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Mmm I don’t think so. I like spending this evening by myself.

Do you still talk to the person you liked 3 months ago? Nope. I don’t have a reason to.

When do you want to get married? I’d love to get married in my late 20s, but I don’t know if that’s still a possibility.

Do you know anyone who’s committed suicide? Yes.

Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? I think about this with certain people sometimes, but most of the time they are annoying, unwelcome, invasive thoughts that I try to shake off immediately.

Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed died? What’s with some of these questions lmao??? Yeah absolutely. 

Is there anyone who doesn't like you? If there is, I don’t know anything about it and I doubt that I would care,

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? Yesterday when a client was being extra annoying.

What was the last thing you cried about? I stumbled upon an emotional scene from Grey’s Anatomy on Facebook this morning, and I let myself go while watching it haha. It was a great snippet.

Do you have nice eyes? I’m not particularly known for my eyes, like they’re nothing special. I’ve got nothing to complain about them, though.

What are the bad things you've heard people say about you? I’m not sure if I’ve caught anything bad. If I did it most definitely would have stuck and continued to stick with me.

Is there anyone that is jealous of you or anything that you have? Not that I know of.

How many true friends do you have? Right now, I would say two very close friends.

Does anyone disgust you? Sure.

Do you flirt a lot? Never.

Have you ever caught a friend cheating on their bf/gf? I have not, and I’m glad none of them have.

What phrase or saying do you use the most? I’ve said this on a recent survey but I say “Awesome!” a lot, but it’s a habit I picked up from my now-ex.

What mood are you in right now? I’mmmmmmm getting a little sleepy tbh, but I’m trying to keep myself up for a few more hours because it’s a Friday evening.

Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No.

Are you waiting for anything? Not really.

Do you have a good relationship with your mother? It’s civil at best. We don’t get at each other’s throats as often as we used to anymore but I don’t feel the need to improve our relationship, and I’d rather still keep a safe distance from her.

Do you think Jersey people are annoying? I don’t know any of them because I live on the other side of the world, so...

How many exes do you have? One.

Did anyone break up with you in the last 5 days? No. Last five months, sure.

Who was the last person that broke your heart? Cheesy phrase, but Gabie.

Do you love anyone? I love a lot of people.

Do you want to be single or with someone? Not looking for anything at this point in time. I mean I’d really rather be in a relationship when it comes down to it, but I wouldn’t force myself in one for the sake of being in one. If no one fits the mold, then I’d be just as happy being single, and this happens to be where I am right now. I’m okay with that.

What song are you listening to right now? No music.

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because she was leaving and I wanted to say goodbye.

Does your mom think you’re a virgin? Yes.

Is there someone that wants you to give them a second chance? I think my brother, but my mind is set on never saying a word to him again.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? I don’t hate him; he’s just a particularly difficult client to deal with.

Would you rather get high or have sex right now? Getting high would be a brand new experience, so let’s go with that haha.

Do you know anyone with a star tattoo right by their hip bone? No, I don’t.

Did anyone give you anything last Valentine's Day? Last year, yes. This year, no.

Do you keep condoms in your room? No, I don’t need to.

What do you think about people who party a lot? Like, in 2021?? I would think they are highly insensitive and irresponsible and putting so many of their loved ones at risk. 

Have you ever been caught sneaking out of your house? Nopes.

How much time do you spend on AIM a day? I don’t.

Is there a secret you've never told your parents? I hold way more secrets than actual things they know about me.

Ever kissed someone over 30? No.

What size bra do you wear? Baby bra size, whatever the measurement for that is HAHA

Does the person you last kissed still like you? Lmfao no. She hasn’t for a while now.

Are your parents still together? Yes.

Was your first time good or bad? Good.

#survey #surveys

[darkwritingsnshit]

Living the Dream

Chapter 12

Warnings: This is a dark fic, please don’t read if you’re under 18, or uncomfortable with noncon, kidnapping, torture, smut or dark characters

Routines are funny things, schedule, repetition, they all normalize even the most far fetched of events. To say you had ‘settled in’ as Steve had wanted you to would be incorrect, rather you came to know what to expect. Nights and mornings upstairs in a lavish room, getting your body fucked senseless and covered in bruises, then drug back to the basement for a few hours. You still hated the basement most of all, it was the ever present reminder that Steve owned you, that he could throw you in a cell and forget about you for as long as he wanted; and you would have absolutely no say in the matter.

Food and water provided by Steve came at interesting times or so it seemed, though you could track the days by the nights you spent upstairs with him. The rules you had come to understand and follow, though he would occasionally leave wiggle room for a few additional seconds to brace yourself against whatever demand he placed. As long as you followed them, he wouldn’t hurt you.

Twice, you had pushed him on purpose, twice you came to regret it. When he brought you upstairs, he would occasionally pour you a drink. Drinking on an empty stomach due to being in the basement all day hadn’t sounded good, so you politely declined when he placed a full drink in front of you. This had been the wrong thing to do. You noticed Steve wouldn’t usually hit you in the face, though that day was an exception. Before you even realized your mistake, he had thrown the drink in your face and smacked your cheeks, sending you reeling, before apologizing, cleaning up and asking politely for another drink. There were knuckle shaped bruises over both cheekbones the next morning.

The other time, you had asked about your brother after Steve came home, as he had mentioned he was going to see Tony about a mess one of the teammates had created. This mistake got both of your wrists latched into Steve’s headboard, while his belt came down across your ass. It hurt for almost a week afterword, and Steve was very aware, making you sit on his lap, grind your thighs against him and took more pleasure than usual in squeezing and smacking your ass. You were his toy; you were a game. As much as you hated your life, even the most egregious of stressors can be normalized in the human mind, you had come to accept and understand this world Steve kept you locked in.

The worst part by far, worse than being tied to his bed, worse than his oppressing rules, than him fucking you and making you beg, were the words Steve made you say at least three times a day; in the mornings, when he left, and before bed. “I love you.” Before, though the concept of ‘before’ wasn’t always clear now, those words carried meaning, they carried weight. A couple exes had gotten your words, but it was mostly for your mother, father and brother. “I love you” had been reserved for someone who deserved them, someone you loved. By threat of pain and isolation, you had learned to speak the words and deliver them with a kiss, without a second thought. It was funny the things the human mind normalized.

One day Steve didn’t make you go back to the basement. You were sure you had a stroke, you were still dreaming or that this was a sick joke. But no, he offered a change; if you really, really wanted it and could prove just how much you did, you could stay in Steve’s room, chained to the headboard. You had never given a blowjob like that in your life, you were a hundred percent sure. After you were allowed to occasionally stay in his room, Steve started granting you more freedoms. He would bring you down to the kitchen to cook with him, let the two of you spend some of the evening in the living room in front of the fire. After weeks of ‘asking nicely’, Steve allowed you to keep books in his room, as a way to pass the days.

It made you sick at how happy and exited to be allowed basic freedoms made you feel, but you couldn’t squash the emotions. When Steve showed you a closet full of dresses and allowed you to wear them if you were good, you jumped in excitement and made sure you looked good for him when he came home. He seemed to like it when you did this, made his mood and temperament softer.

There were still bad days, both for you and Steve, though they came less frequently. Mornings when you would wake in a panic and had to calm your breathing so you weren’t launched into a panic attack that made you lose all reason. Steve would help you as long as you weren’t “irrational” during these emotionally charged moments, as long as you didn’t lash out and try to hit or hurt him. Any violence from you was met with 10 times as much violence from Steve, though he liked to keep the bruises he left somewhere they would be hidden with clothing. A few days he had come home in a foul mood, and you were locked back in the basement for the night, though you were never sure why. When you were, all you could do was curl into a ball and cry in the cold, hoping to god that tomorrow would be different.

It had been a good few weeks as far as you were concerned; you hadn’t needed any punishment, Steve had been home and in a good mood every night, he had even stopped chaining you to his headboard in the day time, you were free to roam around his locked room as you pleased. You had tried to get out in the beginning to no avail, something that had gotten you thrown back in  the basement for a couple days, so now you read to pass the time and sketched across the journals provided for you. You weren’t even thinking, everything seemed simple, the routine was normal to you, saying ‘I love you’ was normal, the fact that Steve was your only source of human contact was normal, you were unfazed by Steve’s actions or even when he had to punish you, you may have disliked it but you were used to it, expected it.

What you weren’t used to, was Steve coming home with presents. You heard the door unlocking, greeted Steve with a hug and a long kiss, telling him how happy you were to see him again, asking about his day. The way he held your head, the way he kissed you all made you feel good in the pit of your stomach, even the words ‘I love you’ were easier to say. What surprised you, was when he pulled a box out from behind his back, tied with a bow.

“What’s this?” You asked him when he placed it in your hands, with a raised eyebrow. Steve looked pleased with himself, eyes daring you to go ahead.

“You’re going to have to open it to see, doll.” Hands linked, the two of you sat down on the sofa as you were eyeing up the box.

“Thank you for my present Steve,” you knew the rules, always say please and thank you, when he gave you something, when you asked for something, when you wanted something, always remember your place. Steve continued smiling, as he urged you to tear the wrapping paper. Pulling away the ribbons, then the paper, you opened your present with excitement.

When you uncovered what was underneath, your blood ran cold, ice cold, for the first time in a long while.

It was a little pink box, one you recognized from your old friend’s medicine cabinet, from the time you had needed to purchase one from the pharmacy. ‘First Response’ flashed before the words ‘Early Pregnancy Test’ registered in your mind. No, no, you thought, no this couldn’t be happening, Steve may have been crazy but there was no way you could be pregnant, you had the arm implant and it wasn’t due to be taken out for another year. You set the box down on the table with shaky hands and tried to think of a way to phrase the words running through your head so you wouldn’t get hit.

“Steve,” you started slowly, “I didn’t think I could get pregnant, I have a Nexplanon in my arm.” You tried hard not to sound defiant or challenging, just confused. Steve chuckled and took your left arm in his hand, pressed with his thumb the place you saw a small scar, but couldn’t feel the plastic flex under your skin.

“I took care of that months ago, sweetheart,” he said with a smile, “way back before you first arrived. You were out cold for a while before waking up all that time ago in the basement, we don’t have to worry about something as restrictive as your birth control.”

You were sure that food you had for lunch was going to come up, right there on the carpet. This was not what you were expecting, this was new, this was terrifying. Sure, you were a prisoner in his home, but the possibility that you would get out was always in the back of your mind, kept you sane if you felt yourself going a little bit nuts. Sure, Steve basically owned you, but even so, it was your body, you had control over you, even if you chose to follow the rules, you were making decisions for yourself, and you alone would either reap or pay for the consequences of your actions. This was wrong, this was intrusive, this was a little bit more of Steve taking complete control over your life, your body. You didn’t want kids, you didn’t want his kids, you didn’t want your children to be held prisoner by a crazy man. You had to focus on breathing evenly and Steve rubbed your back. You wanted to rip his arm off for touching you. All of the hatred, all of the heavy feelings of anger, shame, disbelief came back in a flash. No matter how much repetition and routine had gotten to your psyche, the thought of condemning your own child to a madhouse was unacceptable.

“I know this is a lot, but I think we’re going to be happy with the results.” Steve was still touching you until you jumped back and to your feet.

“Happy?” You were trying to keep the anger from your voice, something was screaming at you that this was not okay, that you were going to get hurt by your behavior, that Steve wouldn’t like your attitude.

“Yes, happy.” He was raising his eyebrows at you, he was giving you a chance to sit back down an control yourself. “You seem out of sorts, you know I don’t care for this type of hysterical behavior.” Another warning, this one edged with anger, malice.

“Happy? Happy, happy, happy…” You were pacing a few steps right and left, muttering and shaking.

“Why don’t you sit down?” This was your final warning, most of your brain was screaming at you to sit down, but an unhinged voice told you differently. If you really were pregnant, he wouldn’t hurt you, right? He wouldn’t hurt your baby, his baby. You just stared at him, not complying, not sitting down, wide eyed, part angry, part shocked.

When Steve stood and towered a good foot over your small body, you began to shrink back, but not fast enough. Taking you by the arm, he drug you to his bed, shoved you down roughly and for the first time in a while, wrapped restraints around your wrists, securing you to his headboard. You couldn’t see him from your position on your stomach, your mind was racing, you could feel cold sweat on your neck.

“I thought we were past this,” he remarked from somewhere behind you before bringing his arm down across your ass. You yelped in pain, tried to wiggle away but he held you in place by your thighs. “I don’t understand, you’ve been so good. I’ve been so kind to you, you haven’t been back in the basement in so long, why do you insist on testing my patience?” you hadn’t cried in a while, but you couldn’t stop the tears from welling in your eyes. All you could think of was the possibility of a child inside of you. Half disgusted, half fearful, worried Steve would exercise the same control over a baby as he was over you, that he would hurt any child you may have.

“Steve, I’m scared,” you were able to choke out, you couldn’t stop tears from falling down your cheeks, unable to stop your voice from breaking.

“Baby, you don’t need to be scared unless you break the rules,” Steve was closer, you could feel his body heat against the back of your legs, your back, feel him getting hard against your ass. He had caged your hips with his own, had reached between your legs and felt how wet you were, you were getting his cock wet as he teased you, rocking himself between your thighs. “You know I’ll always take care of you, I’ll always take care of our babies, our children. You need to stop worrying, you need to listen to me, to trust me.”

You were shaking your head, crying hard, this was not something you could accept. Steve sighed, pressed a hand against the back of your neck, holding you down, still running his cock between your thighs.

“I was hoping for a better answer, doll, you know I don’t like having to remind you of your place.” His voice was steely, as you shook beneath him before he drug his cock past your thighs and positioned himself against your ass. Your eyes widened, you froze then began to shake harder, began to beg.

“Please no, Steve, I’ll take the test, I’ll be happy please stop!” you could hear him huff in annoyance before remarking against your skin, “I’m not going to stop dollface, trust me when I say, I’m never going to stop.

You screamed loud and hard before bursting into tears as Steve pushed himself into your asshole, unlubed and unprepared except the slick juices he had covered his cock in from between your legs.

“Stop, STOP, PLEASE!!!” you were screaming hard, choking out pleas around your sobs as much as you could, though Steve gave no response except the groans and whispered swear words as his thick cock sank all the way into you.

“Uh-uh,” he hummed out against your skin as he began to fuck you at an unrelenting pace.

He was never quick to finish, and when he wanted to punish or hurt you, he took his time with it, squeezing your throat and leaving fresh bruises against your ass. Eventually you stopped screaming and crying, became numb to the world and your pain, just laid on the bed and closed your eyes until he was done. Long after he had started, you felt Steve release inside of you before rolling off and unlatching your restrains. He held you close to him as usual, he always held you in his arms and shushed you after fucking you, petting your hair and skin until you stopped crying and your breathing calmed. He tilted your head up to face him.

“You need to get cleaned up, princess. Take that test into the bathroom with you, I want results, now.” All you could do was nod as he released you, you snatched the box off the counter and fled to the bathroom. Cleaning yourself up, trying to ignore the deep-seated pain Steve had left you in, you sat on the toilet and followed the instructions, pissing on the white stick and placing it on the counter.

“You can’t hide in there, you need to come out here,” Steve yelled from his room. When you emerged from the bathroom, Steve was sitting on the couch, patted his lap, an instruction to sit down. Crossing the room, you set the test on the table before sitting on his lap.

Three minutes. That’s all it took for this little test to decide how the rest of your life was going to turn out. You still had hope, one day your brother may return, one day you could catch Steve off guard and escape this place, there was reason not to give up entirely. Until those three minutes ran out. Until those two little lines speared on that damn test, two little lines and a grin from Steve, so wide you thought he may actually jump off the couch and start dancing. Instead, he pulled you into a hard, deep kiss, he covered your body with his, his excitement and elation evident in every inch of him. You could feel him harden again, he slung you over his shoulder and the two of you returned to bed. You hadn’t moved, hadn’t said anything, you couldn’t respond at all. You were numb, scared and horrified, but what could you really do?

“I guess we should start thinking about names, darling,” Steve was staring into your eyes before he kissed you again, kissed your skin, your neck, face, shoulders, anything and everything while you couldn’t move at all, couldn’t respond, just laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling. That didn’t matter to Steve, all that mattered to him tight now was that beautiful test on the table, the one that confirmed what he had always wanted.

For him, everything had changed. You were even more precious to him now, and he was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt, he would always, always make sure you and your children were safe and cared for. He was never letting you go anywhere outside his protection, ever again.

#dark writings #dark fics #my writing #my works #dark!steve rogers #dark!captain america #steve rodgers x reader #captain america x reader

[trashforhockeyguys]

Days Gone Quiet- Jeff Skinner

A/N: somewhat unplanned. Somewhat angsty. Also 4.5K words, wow. Mentions of injuries and a trip to the hospital. So, that’s that. Listen to Days Gone Quiet by Louis Capaldi if you’d like. 

It wasn’t the tossing and turning that broke down your resolve. It wasn’t the nightmares that kept you awake. Or even the silence that filled the house you’d once shared with him. It was the way that the bed was so cold without him next to you. The way that the closet was half empty now, other than the few things he’d left behind. The ring that you’d hidden in the back of your drawer. The thunderstorm added to this situation, it was the reason you called him.

 You waited, knees pulled up to your chest, in the center of the bed. Even though he was half asleep, he almost didn’t hesitate before he said he’d come. So, all you could do was wait to see his headlights in your driveway. Or hear his footsteps coming up the porch.

 It took twenty minutes for him to show up. The knock on the door was soft, but you knew. For a second you forgot that he wouldn’t use the key that you knew he still had. He was going to respect your privacy, even if you were the one who called.

“Hey,” Your voice sounded breathless.

 “Hey.”

 You stepped aside and let him into the house. It seemed strange, the whole idea of having to invite him into the house that he’d bought. The house that the both of you had planned on living in for the better part of the rest of your life.

 A lot has changed in three months.

 The thunder boomed again, causing you to jump. You felt his hand on your back in an attempt to steady you. You wanted to melt into him again. Just the feeling of his touch was enough. The knowledge that he was really here, right behind you, was enough for you.

 “You okay?” He asked, voice still laced with the remnants of sleep.

 “Yeah um- just the thunder,” You flinched again as another clap of thunder rumbled through the night.

 He reached for your hand and pulled you towards the kitchen, only stopping to pull out a barstool and motion for you to sit. He flicked on the lights, only to realize they wouldn’t turn on. He looked back at you, obviously wanting answers.

 “Storm knocked out the power right before I called you. That’s why the candles are everywhere,” You admitted.

 “And here I thought you were having one of those candle nights,” He almost laughed, almost, “The tea still in the same drawer?”

 You nodded. Part of you wondered how long it would take for him to realize you were in his old hoodie. It was one of the few things he’d left behind because he knew how much you loved it. He’d told you that when he left it on the bed that night.

 Sometimes when you were missing him enough, you’d take out the old bottle of cologne that was still hiding in the back of one of his drawers, and spray just enough for it to smell like him. You’d never tell him that, but if he got close enough to you, he’d probably be able to smell it.

 You watched as he moved around the kitchen like he’d never left. You hadn’t changed a damn thing in the house. Everything stayed the way it was, because this was still the house of your dreams, but the man of your dreams wasn’t in it. It wasn’t complete anymore.

 “Here,” he put your mug in front of you. You hadn’t even heard the kettle, “You still take your tea the same way, right?”

 “Um, yeah,” You were stunned honestly. Part of you hadn’t expected him to remember it.

 But he’d always remembered all of your takeout orders, and Starbucks. He knew your favorite brands of chocolate, and what your favorite movies were for different moods. He knew which blanket you always wanted, and was always okay with the fact that you didn’t share, so he’d always grab one for himself.

 He was always too good for you. He took care of you, he never questioned any of it. Even after a tough game, or a long practice, he was there for you.

 “I’m sorry,” You choked out, “I shouldn’t have called you. I can’t keep doing this.”

 “Y/N-”

 “No, we broke up. We called it off,” You rushed to say, “I can’t keep calling you every time I need something. Or every time I’m lonely. This is unfair to you. I can’t.”

 He reached for your hand. In the candlelight, you could see the hurt in his eyes. The initial fight was bad, not bad enough to do the two of you in, that happened after the fights that followed. You couldn’t even remember what they were about anymore. The longer you thought about it, the less it made sense to you.

 “I’ll always come, no matter what.”

 That almost broke your heart. You wondered if he could hear it crack over the sound of the thunder. The tears came before you could stop them, and next thing you knew, you were crying in your kitchen with his arms wrapped around you.

 If you closed your eyes for a second, you might’ve thought that you were three years younger, and it was one of the first nights in this house. A storm came up that night too, bad enough to knock out the power. You’d always been terrified in storms, and that night you’d been spooked by the thunder so bad that you’d dropped your favorite mug. And just like tonight, he’d held you as you cried for almost no reason at all.

 “I’m sorry.”

 “I know you are, I am too,” he said so softly you almost didn’t hear.

You went another four months without seeing him after that night. You moved from the house you shared, you’d packed the rest of the things he’d left behind into a box and shoved it into the back of your new closet. No matter how hard you tried, you still couldn’t get rid of the last things you had left from your relationship. Just like his number was still in your phone, waiting for another moment of weakness.

You wouldn’t crack though, you were going to be stronger than you’d previously been. The next time you saw him was different, he didn’t even know you were there. You’d gotten tickets to one of his games, something you didn’t think you’d do again.

But nonetheless, you found yourself sitting in the arena, watching as he played better than you’d seen in a long time. He played better without you in his life, that’s all you could think. The game seemed to come easier to him now, he didn’t seem to think about it as he flew down the ice. The way he worked alongside his teammates was something you hadn’t seen in years. He was happy like this. 

You smiled sadly when everyone started to chant his name after a goal. He was loved here. You were happy for him, even if you did feel a twinge of pain in your chest because you wouldn’t be there to experience this with him.  You cheered with everyone else, maybe even louder, but you still hurt. 

You forced your eyes shut when the game ended. Just being somewhere in the same room with him had been enough, but now you had to go home and keep trying to move on. You slipped out of the arena before they announced the stars. You just needed air.

Another month went by. You started trying to go out on a date here and there. You tried to focus on work and family. You tried to redecorate your new apartment and make it something that resembled a home. You wanted to make you life feel like yours again. You tried to ignore the ache and the way you constantly felt like something, or rather someone, was missing. 

“So, tell me about yourself,” The guy in front of you said slowly. 

You were focused on the TV across the room, the hockey game was in full swing. He wasn’t playing like himself. You could almost feel the panic that must’ve been running through his body. But he had his team to back him up, they’d keep him safe.

“Are you a hockey fan?” The guy asked, following your eyes to the TV. 

“Hm?” You tore your eyes away and looked back at him. 

What was his name? James? John? Something ridiculous that you’d never actually remember anyway? You knew he was trying, your blind date was making an effort to get to know you. He didn’t know that this was the last thing you wanted to do. That this was the last place you wanted to be. 

In all reality, you wanted to be at that game. You wanted to be able to see it all unfold before you. Almost like that would make everything better, like it would ensure that they’d win and nothing would go wrong. As if you had the power to change any of it. 

“Um, sorry,” You couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when the channel changed, “No, not a big fan. I just um, I used to date a guy that loved it. I guess it rubbed off on me.”

You tried to ignore the feeling in your gut. You felt like you were betraying Jeff by just calling him some guy. He was more than just some guy, he always would be. He was the love of your life, he was the man you’d planned on marrying. He’d never just be some guy to you, no matter how much time passed. But for now, it was easier to just pretend. 

“Sorry, bringing up and ex isn’t exactly something you’re supposed to do on a date,” You laughed nervously, “I’m honestly out of practice.”

“If it makes you feel any better, my ex girlfriend loved hockey too,” He shrugged, “We can figure out this dating thing together, if you’d like?”

You found it easier to talk to him after that. You’d been wrong, his name was Jason, he was being groomed to take over the family business, which he seemed to be alright with. You had similar interests, which surprised you. Part of you hadn’t expected to connect with another human in the way that you had with Jeff. But despite not knowing him, you felt oddly comfortable around Jason.

You laughed with him and had fun. You were okay with being out for the first time since the breakup with Jeff. You were okay with not sitting across from him, not being at the game with him. You stopped worrying about him, just for a while, just while he was distracting you. 

He was in the middle of a story from his childhood when your phone started ringing. You declined the call, not knowing who it was, and slid it back under your leg. You motioned for him to continue with his story, genuinely interested in what he had to say. 

Five minutes later, your phone rang again, the same number flashes across your screen again. You sighed and tried to decide what to do. You didn’t want to walk away from him for a phone call that could be insignificant. 

“It’s okay, answer it.”

You gave him an apologetic look before standing up and walking outside so he couldn’t hear you, and you wouldn’t disturb anyone else.. You slid your finger across the screen to accept the call before saying a quick hello. No one answered you though, but you could hear chaotic noises in the background. 

“Hello?” You repeated. 

“Y/N Y/L/N?” You knew the voice on the other end of the line, but you couldn’t quite remember where you knew them from.

“Yes, this is she,” You replied. 

“Y/N/N,” They breathed a sigh of relief, “It’s Jack.”

You shook your head, “Jack? How do you even have my number? I changed it after-”

“After you and Jeff broke up, yes I know. But he gave the new one to me, just in case something happened.”

You could hear it in his voice. Something had gone wrong. Something wasn’t right. How long had you and Jason been taking? Had the game already ended? By the sounds in what you guessed were the locker room, it had to have ended, but how long ago? And why was Jack calling you? You of all people, why you?

“What happened?” You didn’t even know but you could feel your throat closing up.

“Where are you?” He was avoiding your question, but you could hear the panic in his voice. 

“A few blocks from the rink, I’m-” Your voice didn’t want to work, you didn’t want to tell him where you were, “I’m on a date.”

“Which restaurant?”

You told him, feeling thankful that he didn’t seem to pause for a second. But that only meant that whatever happened was bad. You should’ve asked them to change the TV back over, just so you could keep an eye on the game. But if you had, would you have allowed yourself to have a good night?

“I’ll be there in less than five minutes. Wait outside, please,” He seemed to beg you. 

“Jack, where are we going?” You finally found the strength to ask.

“You didn’t watch the game?”

“No, they changed the station and I-” You felt so guilty now, “What happened?”

“The hospital. I’m getting in my car now, go grab your things and wait.”

He hung up right after that. Your body felt numb. Jeff was hurt. That was the only reason Jack would’ve called, that’s the only reason he’d be taking you to the hospital. You wanted to google and see if you could find out more, but you could do nothing but wonder back into the restaurant, where Jason was waiting for you.

“Is everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I have to go,” You couldn’t explain as you tried to gather your coat and bag. 

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s that ex isn’t it? The one you’re still hung up on.”

“He’s hurt,” You forced out, “He- he needs me. I’m sorry.”

“I hope he realizes how lucky he is to have you,” He shook his head, “You seem like you’re an incredible person, Y/N, maybe we can just be friends. It seems neither one of us was ready for this. Go take care of him.”

“Thank you.”

You grabbed your bag and rushed back out. Your whole body was shaking, but it wasn’t from the cold. You couldn’t even feel the cold. But just the thought of Jeff being hurt, in ways that you didn’t even know yet, scared the shit out of you. The last time he’d gotten hurt you’d been there for him. You’d helped every step of the way, you’d known all of it. But you were in the dark this time. You didn’t even see it happen. 

You started to pace back and forth while waiting for Jack. Would he even tell you what happened? Why would he even take you with him, it’s not like either of you would be able to see Jeff if he had already been admitted. You’d just have to wait.

Jack’s car pulled up a few minutes later. You didn’t stop to register that it was now storming before climbing into his car. He didn’t wait for you to get settled or buckle up before he took back off down the road. You were afraid to ask him what happened. You were afraid to actually know. 

“How bad is it?” That was all you could force yourself to ask. 

“They took him by ambulance straight to the hospital. We all agreed after the game what I should call you.”

“We all? Who is we?”

“The team.”

“But I haven’t spoken to any of you since the breakup.”

“But he talks about you, all the time.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

He sighed, “He’s tough, but he’ll need you.”

You tried to calm your nerves. He would be okay, eventually. Whatever was wrong could be fixed. He would be okay. You tried to keep reminding yourself of that as the hospital came into view. He’d been here before, but he would be okay. 

Jack lead you into the waiting room and told the desk who you were here for. You couldn’t even think straight, you couldn't even hear what they told Jack. All you could do was just sit there and shake. Why did this feel so different from all of the other times? 

You weren’t sure how long you waited, or at what point you fell asleep on Jack’s shoulder. But you were being gently shaken awake. A nurse stood in front of you and Jack, waiting for one of you to do something. 

“You can go back and see him now,” Jack told you quietly, “Since you’re his fiance.” 

You gave Jack a questioning look. But he mouthed something that resembled go with it and helped you up. You followed the nurse back through the halls. Why did Jack lie for you? Would he even want to see you again? 

She stopped in front of a door, inside you assumed was Jeff. You forced air into your lungs. You hadn’t been prepared to see him like this, or see him period. 

“He’s likely still asleep, they gave him a sedative along with something for the pain,” She informed you, “Just avoid his leg. I’ll be at the nurse’s station should you need anything.”

You forced yourself to nod and step inside after she opened the door. You clutched onto the necklace you were wearing, which happened to be the one that he’d given you years ago. You would’ve laughed at the irony of it, had you not spotted jeff first. 

He was laying in his hospital bed, a bandaged leg peeking out from the blanket. Your heart broke. He wasn’t awake, just like she’d told you. But he looked awful. Jack never told you what happened earlier in the night, but looking at Jeff now, you assumed a fight was involved somehow. 

He had a few stitches above his eye, which you had a feeling hadn’t been there before tonight. You still didn’t know what happened, but you hurt just thinking about it. You didn’t like the idea of him being in pain, especially not like this. 

You pulled the chair up to the edge of his bed. You fought your tears, trying to keep them from falling. You wouldn’t cry now. You reached for his hand, just wanting to feel him and know that he was real. His hand was warm in yours, but he didn’t move. 

You brushed little curls off of his forehead, “Hey twirly bird. I don’t really know if you want me here, so now would be the time to tell me. But if you do want me here, with you, I need you to say something.”

All that broke the silence of the room was the heart monitor beeping next to the bed and the soft rumble of thunder in the distance, “I ditched my date when Jack called me.”

You smiled as tears burned your eyes, “I was almost having a good night. He was a nice guy, but neither of us were ready to be on a date. I would’ve spent the whole time watching your game had they not changed the station. But then Jack called and all I could think about was getting to you.”

You thought of that night a few months ago, when the storm hit and you’d called him. So much had changed. You barely jumped when the next clap of thunder rumbled through the city. You held tightly onto his hand, willing him to be okay. 

“You told me a few months ago that you’d always come, no matter what,” You whispered, “That goes both ways Jeff. I will always be here.”

You sat with him for nearly two hours before they came in and told you visiting hours were over, but that you could come back the next day and hopefully he’d be awake by then. You leaned down and kissed his forehead, whispering that you’d be there if he needed you, and then you walked out.

Jack offered to drive you home so that you didn’t have to get an uber. You couldn’t stop worrying about Jeff though, you’d been given the specifics of his injuries. He’d have to stay off his leg for a couple of weeks, and wouldn’t be able to return this season. He’d hate that when they told him. 

You were still asleep the next morning when your phone started ringing. You blindly reached for your phone and answered before really looking to see who it was. You were too tired to really even care who was calling, it was too early on a Sunday morning for it to be anyone important.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

You shot straight up. He’d been the last person you’d expected to call you, “Jeff? How are you?”

“I want you here,” He said softly, you could tell he was in pain but he was okay, “I want you here with me.”

You took a deep breath and flung the covers off of yourself, “You want me there?”

“I’ve always wanted you here. I just- Will you come?” 

“Always,” You replied, “I’ll always be there, no matter what Jeff. Give me twenty minutes.”

You got there in fifteen. The nurses didn’t question as you walked back to his room. This time, Jeff was sitting up, propped up by quite a few pillows, and watching TV. Seemingly happy for the moment. He smiled when he saw you, eyes lighting up for a moment. 

“Hey Twirly Bird.”

“I thought we agreed that you were going to stop calling me that.”

You shrugged and sat back down in the chair, “Times change. How are you feeling?”

“Still a little foggy, but I’m alright,” he winced as he adjusted himself in bed, “I’m out for the rest of the season though, plus I have a lot of physical therapy ahead of me.”

“I know, the doctor told me last night.”

“They told you? But I thought they could only tell family?”

“Well, you seemed to still have me listed as next of kin and your emergency contact, plus Jack lied while I was asleep in the waiting room and told them I was your fiance.”

“I’m sorry you had to leave your date.”

“How did you know about that?”

“Heard you last night, plus Jack came by this morning to make sure I knew you’d been here,” he shrugged, “Is he at least a good guy?”

“Jason? Yeah, he’s great” You saw Jeff’s face fall just a bit, “But I think he and I aren’t cut out for each other.”

“Oh.”

You shrugged, not knowing what else could be said. He was the one that called you here and you’d come, the ball was in his court now. It was his move. So you just had to wait. Both of you had changed since you’d been together. In just a matter of months, you’d grown up in a lot of ways. You’d figured out what you wanted from life. Maybe it would be enough this time, if you decided to try again. If he decided. 

“I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too Jeff.”

“How’s your new place?” he questioned. 

“It’s nice, but I’ll be honest, it doesn’t feel like home. But it’s nice.”

“I know the feeling,” He laughed lightly, “I end up crashing with Jack a lot of times because I don’t want to go back to an empty apartment.”

“He’s a good friend,” You told him, “The first thing he did last night was call me. I’m pretty sure he did it the second he was able to.” 

“I’m glad he did. Otherwise...Well, I’m just glad you’re here Y/N.”

“Not the drugs talking though, right?”

He shook his head and reached for your hand, “I meant what I said, I want you here. I never stopped wanting you here.”

“Maybe we should have this conversation once you’re a little better,” You laughed.

“But will you stay?”

“I’m not going anywhere. You always come to comfort me during a thunderstorm,” You reminded him, “This is like your storm. I’ll be here until you don’t want me to stay.”

He flashed a dimpled smile, “I won’t ask you to leave.”

“Okay.”

So, you sat with him all day, and the next day, and stayed with him once he was released. You helped him when you could, and stayed even when you couldn’t. He didn’t lie to you though, he never asked you to leave. He just kept asking you to stay. So you stayed, you didn’t leave unless you needed to get clothes or groceries or go to work. 

When he was finally back on his feet, you started coming over less. You tried to distance yourself because you didn’t know what would come next. You two never had any sort of conversation. You were unclear on where you stood now that he was on the mend. 

So you packed up everything you’d left in the guest room. He was to the point where he could move and get around without anyone having to help him. He didn’t need you anymore. He wouldn’t want you here anymore. So you were fully prepared to leave and not come back. 

“Where are you going?” he asked once you reached the door. 

You were surprised you hadn’t heard the sound of his crutches on the hardwood floors, “Home, I guess.”

“But, I- why?”

“You don’t need me,” You shrugged, “I figured you’d want me to leave anyway. I’ve been here for almost two months.”

He hobbled a few more steps and stopped. You could see that he was deep in thought, but you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. But you could see that he was in pain from standing still and being on his feet for too long. You wanted to tell him to go sit down, but you couldn’t. 

“I’ve liked having you here though,” He finally said, not looking up at you.

“Jeff, I’ve liked being here, but that’s not a reason to stay,” You tried to explain, “We both have lives. We should try to get back to them. We can’t keep living in this little bubble.”

You forced your hand to turn the doorknob, “I’ll always be just a phone call away Jeff, I promise. But it’s time we get back to real life. There’s plenty of food in the fridge, and that tea that you liked is in the cabinet with the mugs.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, watching you take a step towards the hall. 

“I know you are, Jeff. I am too. But I still have to go.”

#Jeff Skinner imagine #Jeff skinner imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl fanfic #nhl oneshot #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fanfic #hockey fanfiction #hockey oneshot #nicolewritesthings

[caxsthetic]

Completely Lost

Miya Atsumu x F!Reader

There will be a day when happiness could finally come to his life. But it’s just not now.

Pt. 3 < Epilogue

"You know? I think I never want you to be out of my life."

Miya Atsumu remembered well the first time he confessed those words to you. It was in his first year of high school when life was so much easier. That time, you were walking home with him and his twin after their practice. And after days contemplating himself about the right way to make you his, he decided to just go with it.

It was sweet, how he demanded you to be his. How his thumb grazed your lips to ask for permission before crashing it on yours when your orbs glinted with love. Two people with the same feelings, there was nothing that stopped you from being together. His life felt one hundred percent better with you as his lover. You were together for more than a year, and those days were the best moment in his life.

Yet he just had to ruin it.

Blinding by his pride, he insulted you, stomping on your heart while the only thing that you wanted was just to be there for him. He hurt you, spitting unforgivable words in order to make you go away. All because he was ashamed to face you after his loss, and his pride was just too large to the point it caused him to self-destruct.

Then he remembered how his twin told him about his own feelings towards you, the same girl who was now grown up to be a wonderful lady. You were now walking slowly towards his twin, a smile adorned your face as your eyes fixated on the black haired man that he called his brother. You looked so majestic today, with the white dress wrapping perfectly around your figure.

Sweat kept trickling down his face as he practiced for the next tournament. He didn't stop for hours, knowing for sure he would fight against the best setter in the country. He was so grateful to have teammates that were as competitive as him, accompanying him to practice until late at night without once emitted complaint.

"Oi, Tsum-Tsum!" He turned his head to the sideline after giving a toss to one of his teammates, "Your phone is ringing!"

"Who is it?" He screamed out and put his hands on his hips, trying to catch as much oxygen as he could. His teammate, who was the ace of the team, looked at his phone to see the caller ID.

"Oh, it's Miya-san!" The setter blinked, wondering why his twin decided to call him this late at night. Osamu rarely called, it must be something important to make his twin call him, "Should I answer first?"

"Yes, tell him I would be there in a second." Atsumu walked to grab a towel, dabbing his head with it and wrapped it around his neck. He decided to grab a bottle of mineral water before heading towards the ace.

He wondered what might be the news about, it's been months since his twin released his business. Everything was going smoothly for the two of them. And he was happy, to know that the ex-wing spiker was now battling in his real arena. (Even if it took him a whole year to see that.)

"Oh, he's here! And congratulations, Miya-san!" The ace immediately gave the phone to Atsumu who was now raising one of his eyebrows because of the words that he just heard. He sensed something when his twin decided to call him. He thought it was some bad news at first, but hearing the ace congratulate his twin, it must be great news instead — at least, at least for one of them.

"Oi, Samu." There was a smile shaped on his face in an instant every time he talked with the owner of the Onigiri Miya, feeling at home already no matter how far they were apart, "I conclude this is going to be good news, right? Since Bokkun congratulated you and such."

"Yeah, yeah it is." Somehow, Atsumu could know that his twin was smiling so wide on the other line, "Hey, 'Tsumu." He decided to sit on the bench now once his name was called. He didn't know why, but it felt like he needed to prepare his heart.

"Yes, Samu?"

"She said yes."

Atsumu suddenly felt like he was in some kind of illusion, everything felt so unreal, and he couldn't quite process the meaning behind those three words that he just heard from his twin. He knew, he understood very well, but the other side of him just could not accept it.

"W-What do you mean?"

"I-I proposed to her tonight," He could hear a sigh from the other line, and Atsumu didn't know it was either a sigh of relief, or a sigh of guilt. "And she said yes."

The setter almost choked with the information that he just got. Six years has passed since he let you go for his twin. But he couldn't eliminate the sizzling ache inside his heart right now.

And Osamu knew, he knew too well that the setter never moved on from your love, at least not completely. Every time they talked about you, it would always end up with Atsumu almost tearing up. Even though the volleyball player already tried to suppress his feelings, at the end, he failed miserably.

Maybe it's because the bond between twins was indestructible, and somehow ever since you came into their life, Osamu would become more observant when it comes to Atsumu. So if anything, he knew too well that the setter could still get the aching feeling in his heart, even right now as he shared the news.

"O-Oh! That's great news indeed!" Atsumu's voice broke the silence, "I am so happy for the two of you!" It was not really him that was talking, it was his coping mechanism, the side that he put when he tried to hide his broken state, "How was it? Tell me what you did, Samu."

"'Tsumu."

"Did you serenade her? Ah no, that's impossible."

"Atsumu.”

"Oh! I know, you must have cooked the best food for her, right?"

"ATSUMU!"

The setter was taken aback by the outburst, he let out a long sigh when he realised that he was just rambling. He bit his lip, trying to suppress the tears that were already forming on his eyes. Atsumu never cried, at least not about anything else, it only happened when the topic spun around you.

"I am sorry, Tsu-"

"No, don't say that. You didn't do anything wrong." He wiped his cheek with the towel that was wrapped around his neck from before, didn't want anyone else to see him like this, "I-I am really happy for you, for the two of you."

Osamu was speechless, he knew that his twin was genuine. But he couldn't help but sensed the sorrow that was dripping in every word that just blurted out from his twin's lips.

"Thank you, Tsumu." It was always like this, him thanking his twin for letting you go. Osamu may endure the pain for the first five years of loving you, but now, his twin was the one who needed to endure the feelings for you, for god knows how long.

"Meh, it's all your victory, Samu." The setter was now calmed down a little. He couldn't show how much the information hurt him, not in front of someone that he deeply cared for. Tonight was Osamu's night, for getting your hand in marriage, the start of a journey that may last forever.

So it's not his place to be the victim, it's not his place to show the pain, it's not his place to snatch the joy from his twin. The black haired man had done so much for him, and he must do the same. He just needs to endure the pain, one more time.

"Have you set the wedding date?"

He stood up once he saw you and his twin walked gracefully in the middle of the reception venue. Everyone was clapping once they all saw the newlywed couple finally arrived, looking so happy with arms linked to each other.

Atsumu could only gazed at the two, heart beating so fast as he saw how beautiful you look today. You were so breathtaking, a smile never leaves your face due to the fact you have got the love that would last forever, something that had been your dream since teenage years.

No matter how much he had tried to keep his imagination away, it was all falling apart once he saw you. He imagined himself to be the one who put the ring in your finger, to be the one who kissed you every day, to be the one who felt your love until the end of time.

But he let those dreams slip between his fingers, and now you were standing there with someone that he deeply cared for. There was no regret, it was the path that he chose once he knew that his twin felt the same towards you.

He had no regret, because now the two best people in his life would be happy together.

Atsumu was really lost in thought, his gaze could only focus on you. The table that he was on right now consisted of him with his high school volleyball team. They were the people who were there when you still belong to him, and they couldn't help but feel worried for the setter.

There were tears brimming in his eyes as he clapped and laughed over something that the wedding host threw at the audience. But all of his friends knew the only thing that occupied his mind right now. His smile may be so genuine, but it would show a glimpse of pain once in a while.

Atsumu didn't even realise that it was now the time to dance. He stood up, searching for his twin to congratulate him. His eyes scanned the crowd and looked around at the same time to take notes of the decoration and such — Maybe for his own wedding someday but somehow he doubted that — It's not much around here, and he chuckled because he knew too well that his twin didn't want an extravagant venue, the ex-wing spiker just wanted the wedding to be just right.

But in the middle of his quest, he was stopped at the sight of you. You were greeting your friends here and there, your smile didn't falter even after hours since the ceremony. And when you finally looked up and caught his gaze, time seemed to freeze around him.

He thought you would turn your head away immediately, so he didn't expect you to walk towards him instead. There was a faint smile on your face as you walked, and he couldn't help but hold his breath when you finally stood in front of him.

"Atsumu." Your voice was gentle, greeting the now shocked man, "You okay there?" No, I am not. But he was just silent, staring at your gorgeous complexion within close range. You were chuckling at his awkward stance, not even thinking that this man could ever act like this.

"I-I am okay," He cursed himself for even stuttering. But then he heard you laugh, and maybe him being a total idiot in front of you was worth it, "Congratulations, (Y/n)." The song played in the background as the two of you stood there. It was a classic old song, but being sung by someone else. And right now as he stared at you, he couldn't help but wanted to ask you to dance.

He contemplated this, would it be okay for him to even steal the first dance from his twin? He had a gut feeling that Osamu wouldn't mind, but it felt not right. That and the fact of you turning him down was haunting his mind right now.

"Want to dance with me, Atsumu?" He was now standing there dumbfounded as he could not believe the question that was thrown for him. Even after all these years, somehow you still managed to amaze him, "Even though we haven't talked for years, it doesn't mean that I lost my mind-reading ability." He snorted at your joke. It was true though, you knew him like the back of your hand. As if never to be in touch for so long could waive the bond that was once laced perfectly.

"Is that okay?" Atsumu was being considerate over Osamu feelings, and you knew this. So you had to be the one who pulled him to the dance floor, slipping through the inner circle in between dresses and suits, "Samu will kill me."

"Mhm, maybe." You joked and put your hands on top of his shoulders as he timidly put his hand on your hips. "Don't be so stiff, Atsumu!" How could he not? It's been years since the last time he saw you. And now as you were so close to him, his mind racing for the sole fact that he could do things that weren't supposed to happen.

But the song and the atmosphere calmed him down within a second. You were now the only thing that existed in this world; at least that's what he felt right now. You close your eyes and just sway your body slowly, enjoying the song and dance.

At that moment, Atsumu just wanted to cry. It was your perfect wedding idea, to dance with anyone you care about, throwing the bouquet after this, then ending it with a toast. Just that simple.

"Hey, (Y/n)." You looked up, eyes staring at the brown orbs who was now looking at you with the same gaze that he gave you all those years ago.

Shall I stay?

"I am sorry, for that day." You knew what day that he meant, and you smiled at this, "I am sorry for just saying it now. Years, I am such an idiot." He chuckled to hide the pain, so he didn't have to make you worried.

Would it be a sin?

"No matter what happened, I still want to keep you in my life forever." There's a veiled meaning behind those words, "And thanks to Samu, my wish had been granted!"

If I can't help

"So, yeah... I am sorry for what I have done to you," His brown eyes were glossy now, "I hope you will always be with him."

Falling in love with you

"Because now you finally have the love that will last forever." Your pupils dilated a little when he said those words, not believing that he still remembered the words that once came out from your lips.

You couldn't believe it, eyes frantic as you realised the hidden message behind his words. Miya Atsumu was still in love with you, even after all these years, "Atsumu, I-"

"May I have this dance?" Your husband suddenly appeared beside you, and Atsumu could see how your eyes calmed down instantly at the sight of his twin. He then took your hand from his shoulders and gave it to the happiest person in this room.

"She's all yours, Samu." Atsumu winked at you, trying to reassure you that he would be alright, "You were gone so I couldn't help but steal her away for a minute." He teased his twin, making the poor man send him an annoyed glare.

But it changed right when the grey orbs fell to your figure. Osamu's whole demeanour changed as he was now the one who put their hands on your hips. From that action, you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, closing the gap as you put your head at the crook of his neck.

Atsumu bowed a little and walked away from the couple, searching for a drink to calm his heartbeat. With a glass of champagne on his hand, he walked back to his seat, sipping slowly as his brown eyes were back to the sight of you and his twin, dancing in the middle of the room without a care for this world.

When the realisation finally hit him, he broke down right when his high school friends were back to the seat. His ex-captain handed him a tissue and said nothing. They let him cry, pouring all of his pain that he endured for these past few years since he let you go.

It was painful when the truth seeped into his heart. It was his dream to keep you in his life, but this is not the scenario that he had when he confessed those words to you all of those years ago.

He wanted you to be a Miya, but it was his name that he wanted on the wedding certificate, not his twin. This was not the ending that he wanted, this was not in his mind when he kissed you that night.

But it was the best choice that he ever made in his life.

He straightened his posture, hearing his name as the host called out to him. He didn't realise that it was time to give a toast. After dabbing his eyes to erase any remaining tears, he took a deep breath and strided into the stage, didn't forget to bring a glass of champagne in his hand.

Atsumu looked at his twin who was now having his arm circled around your waist. It was a sight to behold, the sight that he wanted to be unfolded as he made the decision that day he let you go.

You looked so happy, in the arms of someone who you were sure will love you forever. For the people out there, forever may be a long time, but if it was spent with the right person, it would be a bliss until the end of the day.

If he could let you go before, maybe he could let your heart go even though it means you have his heart as you walk into your own journey with his twin. Osamu gave him a reassuring smile, eyes lingered with gratitude as he gazed towards the setter.

If he couldn't love another person except you, then may it be, he was ready. Because for him, watching the two people that he loved the most were happy together was something that he wouldn't trade for anything.

He let out the heavy heart that he felt with a sigh and smiled, embracing the future that would come in his way,

"Hello everyone! May I please have your attention for just a few brief, heartfelt moments as we toast for the lovely bride and groom?"

And that time as he smiled genuinely to the crowd, everything just felt so right.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ༶• ┈┈ ⛧ ┈ ♛ ♛ ┈ ⛧ ┈┈ •༶     *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Tagged Lovelies:

@benewol @letmeshouyou @nitricflame @vventure @heccingdead @muffins-puffins @miyulovestowrite @nanashinanashi @vlovers-world @proplayer-kenma @kashika @cuddlyasahi @blacckdiamondposts @muffngw @baby-boy-taichi @of-heroes-and-dreams @for-ests @bobothecircusclown @call-me-prodigy @xjaelee @miyatsunami @ncityluvvs

#miya atsumu #atsumu miya #miya osamu #osamu miya #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #miya osamu x reader #osamu x reader #haikyuu imagine #miya atsumu imagine #miya atsumu scenario #miya atsumu drabble #atsumu miya x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #hq!! #atsumu angst #atsumu fluff

[13-reasons-ideas]

How did I just now stumble across your blog?!! It’s awesome and your Monty story is top notch. Would u take a request that isn’t from a prompt list but my own idea instead? If so can u pls do a Monty x reader where the reader’s ex boyfriend moves back to town and Monty feels threatened by him because personality wise he’s a polar opposite and fears that she might get back together with him (because they were once in love) but the reader ensures Monty that it’ll never happen❤️

Hey, of course you can!  Sorry this took so long. I was having some issues with inspiration and work has been super busy. Here it is. I hope you like it! It ended up way longer than I intended it to. 

(Y/N) = your name  (Y/L/N)= your last name

FISTICUFFS AND DARTMOUTH 

I never expected Nathan and I to break up. He was my first love and though naïve, you never really expect it to end. Our romance was one of shared interests and common goals and kind love. We did not fight and we pushed each other to achieve our goals. We knew what we wanted and what we needed to do in order to get it. He was the first boy I’d ever fallen in love with. It wasn’t a whirlwind, but it was, in a word, nice. Our love story was nice. Which is probably why when he moved away from Crestmont to Dallas for his Dad’s new job, it didn’t affect me the way everyone expected. People expected me to be crushed, but while I was sad, I was able to continue without much impact to my life. And they certainly did not expect me to fall for the man I did after he left. I did not even expect it myself. Although, Montgomery De La Cruz is not someone you expect to fall for.

Nathan Martin is put together and driven. He has it all figured out. He has dreams of going to an Ivy League school and being a doctor who discovers the next medical breakthrough. But those dreams aren’t just unattainable ideas. He has the grades and the work ethic to achieve his goals. He is the guy that the good girl brings home to dad and dad praises him and invites him to watch the game on Sunday, even though the boy has no interest in sports. He goes to the game on Friday nights because he needs a break from studying, not because he actually cares about who wins or loses. Nathan is the boy your mom pictures when she sees your wedding or prays you will meet and love when she thinks of your future. He is kind and avoids physical conflict in any situation. He truly believes that there is a diplomatic way to resolve any issue that could lead to physical conflict. Nathan is the kind of boy who would leave this little town for school but come back after he is done and have the white picket fence life. He wants the wife and the two kids and the dog. He is the kid who spends time with his family because they actually like each other. He is the boy everyone expects me to go for.

           Montgomery De La Cruz is the opposite of Nathan in many ways. He is not the boy who has dreams to change the world. He only wants to change his world. He is not the boy who avoids conflict. In fact, he actively seeks it out. He is the boy you bring home to piss your dad off. He is arrogant and isn’t afraid to argue and hurt your feelings. He plays ball because it’s his ticket out of this little town. Montgomery is the boy who will graduate, go to school, and those of us still here will be lucky if he comes back to visit once a year for the holidays. He is the boy who doesn’t want to plan a life with someone because he is still trying to figure it out for himself. He is the rough and tumble kid who has family problems and spends as little time at home as possible. He is everything I shouldn’t want. And yet, he is everything I want.

           Nathan moved in the middle of sophomore year. His Dad got a job in Dallas at a larger law firm just after Christmas, and by mid-January they had left Crestmont behind. Our breakup wasn’t one of drama and rumors nor was it full of animosity and he said she said. It was simply that neither of us were in a place where we felt up to doing long distance. I laid low for a while and threw myself into writing during my free time. That is how Montgomery came tumbling into my life- literally. I was sitting by a tree working on some writing on a slow day at the beginning of junior year. I heard someone yell, when suddenly I was being tripped on and pushed over by a larger boy. I was disoriented at first but then I saw the tell-tale plaid shirt. “Montgomery! Watch it.” I exclaimed, surprised as I watched my notebook go flying through the air.

           “Sorry Doll. I yelled for you to watch out. Not my fault you weren’t listening.” He replied, chuckling. I simply rolled my eyes at him before gathering my notebook and dusting myself off. Picking up my bag, I nodded to him as I walked away. “See you around?” He called after me.

           “Maybe. It’s a little town De La Cruz.” I called back.

Its not like I didn’t know about Montgomery De La Cruz. Everyone at Liberty knew about the short-tempered athlete. We all knew about the fights with Alex. And the fights with Tyler or anyone else he felt like fighting. We had English and History together and since Nathan left, my friends had started dragging me to various games, so I had seen him on the field more than once. But after that ever so graceful accident, I started to notice him around town or school more. He was usually accompanied by Bryce and his teammates but there were times you could find him on his own. One such occasion was at Monet’s on a dreary day, unusual for California. He walked in while I was ordering another hot cocoa. “You struck me as more of a three cups of coffee a day kind of person.” I heard him say from behind me.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me De La Cruz.” I responded after I placed my order.

“What can I get you Montgomery?” Skye asked, obviously using her best customer voice, to mask her desire to tell him where he could shove it.

“I’ll have what she’s having.” He replied smoothly. I could feel him smirking at me during the quick exchange. After our orders were put through and made, I made my back way to my favourite table at the back of the cafe. Skye usually had it reserved for me because of the view of the rest of the shop. I was not expecting Monty to follow me, nor was I expecting him to pull up a chair for himself.

“Uh… can I help you?” I asked, confused as I set to my writing trying to ignore him watching me.

“What are you working on?” he asked, trying to glance at my notes.

“Writing.” I replied, shortly. He laughed at my answer prompting me to glance up and give him a ‘what’ look.

“I see that (Y/N). I meant what are you writing?” He retorted.

“Stuff. Now are you going to sit there and ask me stupid questions, or is there something I can actually do for you Montgomery?” I replied, hoping to all hopes he would take the hint and leave me alone. Unfortunately, he did not get the hint. Instead, he took it as an invitation to remain seated and continue to distract me. Several annoying questions later I finally snapped. “Okay Montgomery. That is enough. I am trying to focus, so if you want to stay, then you have a choice. Either sit there and shut up or get up and kindly leave me alone.” I huffed. His brows shot up in surprise at my outburst. After a brief pause, I shook my head to say ‘well?’.

“Alright. I’ll be quiet. You wont even notice I’m here.” He replied and made a zipping motion across his lips.

“Thank you.” I sighed and got back to work.

After some time, I went to take a sip of my cocoa and noticed it was empty. Before I could get up and ask for another, Monty took the cup from my hand and went back to Skye. When he returned, I set my pen down and looked at him questioningly. “Consider it a peace offering. I have to head out but this was… nice.” He said before gathering his letterman and turning to leave.

“Monty wait a second.” I called after him. He paused, turning his head to look at me. “See you around?”

“Maybe. It’s a little town (Y/L/N).” he replied, smirking.

That became our routine. He would happen upon the little coffee shop after I arrived, order what I got for himself, and he would sit to watch me write for a while before heading out for the day. We would still see each other at school and in class, but we never spoke of our time at Monet’s together. I’m not sure when it morphed into something more, but one day he asked me out for coffee and I decided to accept. By the next week, we had made it official and at school found out. We grew closer to each other and I became friends with some of his friends. Scott and I connected quickly and while it caused some issues initially, Scott was able to make Monty understand that it was nothing more than friendship. Things were going very well. We had talked about Nathan and everything seemed to be sorted out in that regard. Or at least I thought it had.

No one expected Nathan to come back to Crestmont until he was at least done his bachelor’s degree. Certainly not after only just over a year and a half. I heard whispering that October day of senior year as I walked from my car to the school. The whispers died down as I passed so I figured Montgomery had gotten into yet another fight. That was one thing I was never really able to help him get a handle on. However, when I saw Monty down the hall and searched his face for bruises or anything, I saw he looked fine and knew that couldn’t be what prompted the whispers. Though not bruised he did look conflicted. Monty simply slung his arm over my shoulder when I got to him and we walked to my locker. Something was definitely off I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly. It wasn’t until I walked into Biology and saw him sitting in our usual seat that it made sense. Nathan was back. I knew that the few kids in class already were watching with bated breath, waiting to see what I did, so I walked confidently and sat in my usual seat beside Nathan and greeted him politely. Due to the lack of animosity in our breakup, we were easily able to make small talk until the teacher started class.

After what could only be described as a very long and tiring day, Montgomery and I were in my bedroom studying, or rather I was trying to study on the floor, and he was tapping his pen against his paper while sitting on my bed. “Is there something bothering you Monty? Or are you trying to tap a hole through your textbook?” I asked him, distracted by his incessant tapping.

“He’s   back…” He said, hesitating to continue.

           “Yeah.” I respond, not bothering to look up from my assignment.

           “Yeah? That’s all you have to say (Y/N)?”

           “Yeah, I know? He’s in my AP Biology class.” I expand, still trying to work out the answer.

           “You seem awful nonchalant about it.” Montgomery countered.

           “Am I not supposed to be?” At this point I look up and push my work aside.

           “I don’t know. You tell me. Do you have a reason not to be?” Monty beings to sit up as I stand.

           “Montgomery, where is this all coming from?”

           “Nathan is back (Y/N). So there’s no reason to keep pretending here.”

           “Pre-Pretending? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I ask, somewhat insulted.

           “Yes pretending. You can stop pretending you care and go back to him now.” He retorts, his voice beginning to rise.

           “And why pray tell, would I go back to Nathan now that he’s back in town?” I question, my voice also beginning to rise.

           “Because (Y/N).” He states, as though that is an actual reason.

           “Because why Montgomery? That’s not an explanation and you know it.”

             “He’s all Dartmouth and Harvard medical school and volunteering to tutor kids. He has an actual plan for his life (Y/N). Nathan is going to be a fucking doctor for God’s sake. I’m all football, baseball, and fisticuffs.” Montgomery argued.

           “And?” I ask, confused about where he is going with this.

           “And? And you’re the good girl who smiles at everyone, not because it is polite, but because you actually want to. You sit and read books while I dick around with the guys at lunch. You get good grades and you care about school. I get the bare minimum to stay on the team. You’re… perfect. You could leave any time. You loved him then, you can love him again. I wouldn’t blame you. I have ball and he has fucking med school. I have a full ride scholarship and he has actual grades.”

           “Montgomery, we have been over this. You aren’t the guy I brought home to fill the time until Nathan came back. If I wanted to be with him, I would have left as soon as he came back. I am still here. Therefore, I do not want to be with Nathan.” I explain, exasperated.

           “He can give you what you want. He can give you everything you want.”

           “Mont-” I start but he cuts me off.

           “(Y/N). You want to be a writer and spend your days curled up at your desk. You love books and you’re nice to people and you don’t have rude or angry bone in your body. I have anger and I want to play ball and get through school so I can leave this crappy little town behind. He can give you the life you want. He can go to work and save lives while you sit in your nook in the office, writing to your hearts content.”

           “Maybe I don’t want that anymore Montgomery. Maybe I want you. And the life you can give me.”

           “Don’t kid yourself. He’s everything I’m not. We are polar opposites. You’ll get bored or have enough of me eventually.” He told me, crossing his arms.

           “Montgomery de la Cruz. Do you honestly believe that? I like that you’re nothing like Nathan. That’s the point isn’t it? I like that you’re… unpredictable and temperamental and yeah, sometimes you make really bad decisions. But you’re also caring and protective and spontaneous. I would never leave you for Nathan.” I paused, walking towards him to take his hands in mine. I reached up to tilt his head down towards me before continuing, “I love you Montgomery.” I told him quietly.

           “I- you- what?” He stuttered, shocked at my admission.

           “I love you.” I repeated looking up at him sincerely.

           “I love you to (Y/N).” he responded leaning down to kiss me gently. I smiled into the kiss before pulling away.

           “So no more arguing about Nathan?” I asked him, giggling.

           “I guess not. But maybe a few more kisses will fully convince me.” He replied before kissing me again. I felt him start to step forwards and my knees hit my mattress before we fell back onto my bed. We spent the next couple of hours cuddling and talking before falling asleep in each other’s arms contentedly, our homework and any discussion of Nathan long forgotten.

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