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#tsukishima kei angst
strwbrryeyes · 3 months
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𖦹°。⋆ haikyuu boys as my breakup playlist
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⟡ featuring: suna, oikawa, tsukishima, atsumu
⟡ cw: angst, idk still bad at these
⟡ an: i found my old breakup playlist from three years ago and took inspiration from that so these songs are old lol. writing this was silly because im in a loving relationship but it was like i felt all the pain of a breakup again </3
⟡ part two, part three
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⟡ suna rintarou: you broke me first - tate mcrae
suna would be the one to break things off with you. when you first started dating he genuinely thought he loved you but as time went on and he became more distant, you started to feel like he was losing feelings for you so you asked him about it. in his words, "i think you were just the first girl to give me attention after my last relationship" and "im not ready for a relationship". a week later, he starts talking about all the girls that have come to him after the breakup and started talking about his hookups to you. this bothered you and hurt you deeply so you decided to cut things off with him completely and he was not a fan of this. so he tried everything to try to get you to talk to him again saying that he misses you and that he wants to get back together. you couldn't care less though, he's already broken your heart too many times for you not to notice his pattern of wanting your attention just to make you jealous or upset. in the end, it actually did end up hurting him and made him realize what he lost. he knew he fucked up but there's no going back anymore.
⟡ oikawa tooru: over breakfast - ellise
it's been a few months since oikawa left for argentina. it's been hard for the both of to be apart for so long and in completely different timezones. you could feel the connection fading but neither of you wanted to admit it because you both loved each other so much. but the longer you guys try to keep the relationship afloat, the more frequent you end up arguing over text or facetime. but you both decided that it could be something to figure out when oikawa visits for the holidays. well, the holidays come around and you finally have time to see each other and talk in person. from the moment oikawa entered your apartment, you both knew it was over. you could tell so many things have changed over the course of the last few months but instead of facing it, you just decide to spend one more night together just to have one final time to say that you tried. it was bittersweet and it hurt a lot but you didn't want the night to end. maybe you could fix this over night? in the morning everything will be better and you can set aside your differences! unfortunately, that morning, nothing had changed and you and oikawa finally came to terms with the fact that maybe you two just maybe weren't meant to be.
⟡ tsukishima kei: high definition - waterparks
when tsukishima was still part of the sendai frogs, he traveled a lot. it's not like he was off in another country like some of his old teammates and rivals, no, you lived with him. even though you two had been dating for quite some time by this point, tsukishima still had trouble expressing his love for you. he tended to push you away whenever he was stressed even though the one thing he wanted the most was your comfort and loving. he was just worried he would end up snapping at you and making you hate him. he didn't know that you'd end up upset with him regardless. you loved him so much but you don't know how long you could going on like this. i mean come on! tsukishima was always away for volleyball matches and even when he's home...it's like he's still not even there. tsukishima knew that you were starting to slip away from him so one day he sat you down and explained how he was feeling and it was finally then that you understood why he acted the way he did. you tried protesting his decision to break up with you but he kept insisting it was for the better. by the next week tsukishima had moved out leaving you alone in the once shared apartment, wishing and hoping he'd come back one day.
⟡ miya atsumu: better off - ariana grande
everyone knew that atsumu could be hot headed most of the time when it came to volleyball but what they didn't know is that it would sometimes affect your relationship with him. much like tsukishima, he would close himself off from you whenever he was mad at the world or whatever else there is that could make him upset. it was starting to get tiring for you. you felt like you had to walk on egg shells around him just so he wouldn't snap at you (wether he meant to or not- his mind would always fog up). towards the end of your relationship, you could feel yourself start to get numb in regards to your feelings towards atsumu. atsumu couldn't really tell at this point that you were losing hope for the relationship. if anything he thought everything was normal but that was only because half of the time he was too much into his own thoughts to notice any flaws between the two of you. it wasn't until he came home one day after an away game on the other side of japan and found that all of your stuff was gone along with you, that he realized nothing is what it used to be. he found a note from you that explained that you weren't happy in the relationship anymore and that you felt trapped. you also stated that you hope he figures out his issues and that you'll always be there for him if he needs but that right now you just needed space. atsumu spent that night crying and angry at himself for letting your relationship get to this point.
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jinwoosungs · 3 months
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{ 117 }
shut up and dance with me.
tsukishima kei x fem.reader x oikawa tooru
college au
banner credit to @luneariaa ( and @madeimoisellesoleil for helping! )
dedicated to @svrakas for showing me the specific tiktok by @/5yaff that inspired this fic ♡
tsukishima kei was not a person who enjoyed going out to clubs-
yet the same couldn't be said about you, his girlfriend of 3 years.
he honestly felt so tired after coming home from a long day of classes. all he wanted to do was cuddle up next to you on your couch, put on some cheesy rom-com he knew would make you laugh and smile while indulging on your favorite takeout order.
yet the moment he entered your shared apartment and was greeted by your saccharine smile and melodious laughter, kei knew he was screwed.
because this- this was a telltale sign that you wanted something from him.
"alright spill, just what the hell do you want?"
you sputter a bit, appearing flustered while stomping your feet a bit (okay, he'll admit it, you were too fucking cute for your own good.)
"there's no need to be so rude, kei! i-i just thought, well... aren't you feeling a bit of cabin fever here? we haven't left our apartment in months."
kei scoffs while pushing up his glasses. "we've left the apartment plenty of times. or have you forgotten that we need groceries every month?"
"that's what i'm saying kei, i don't wanna leave our home just to do mundane things! i wanna go out to bars, i want to dance and just have a great time with my boyfriend!" as kei watches you go on and on about your supposed cabin fever, he notices how you kept pacing back and forth, sending him cute little pouty glances his way, your expression reminding him of a puppy desperate for attention.
"please can we go out and do something fun, kei, pleeeeaaase?"
he could feel the impending headache that was close to settling near his temple, yet something about disappointing you left a bad taste in his mouth.
with a sigh, he clenches his eyes shut while massaging the bridge of his nose. "alright fine, we can go out, but only for a few hours! when 11pm hits, we're out of there, got it?"
an excited squeal was heard coming from your parted lips, and kei relishes in the way you jump up against him, wrapping your arms around his neck to place a kiss against his lips before hurriedly bouncing away from him.
"i'll be out in 30 minutes, babe!"
he listens as you slam the door shut, running a hand through his blond hair while his golden irises narrow in annoyance, knowing he had to take some tylenol before heading out, just as a precaution to prevent any migraines from rearing its ugly head.
{ ... }
to say kei felt pissed the moment he stepped into the club would be a complete understatement.
he allows the heavy fumes to surround you and him, buying you one of your favorite drinks as he stands off to the side. his glare was obvious, and he kept you by his side throughout it all.
this was the worst idea ever, since kei did not feel like dancing. he refuses to remove himself from his spot on the wall, taking sips of his strawberry daiquiri that was way too sweet. from his periphery, he sees your jittery movements and asks what was wrong.
"uhm, well, this is my favorite song that's playing, and i'd really love it if you could dance with me, kei."
by now, the tylenol clearly was not working, for he could feel the pinpricks of a migraine beginning to break through, the dull pain coursing through him as he places the rest of the drink off to the side. your name comes out of his lips in an exasperated sigh. "if you want to dance, just dance by yourself. i have a headache and don't feel like doing anything."
kei refuses to allow your hurt expression to sway him, ignoring the painful lump in his throat at the sensation. he hated being the cause of your pain so much, even though he knows he can be a complete asshole at times.
he was about to say something, ready to change his mind and dance with you after all when the sight of someone with cinnamon brown hair and a wide grin stops him in his tracks.
"what's a pretty girl like you standing here all alone?" like a bucket filled with ice was just thrown at him, kei watches as your attention was stolen by that perfect stranger.
"oh, i-it's nothing. it's just, my favorite song is playing..."
"what?! then why are you waiting here?! let's go dance!"
not even looking back at him, kei watches as another man takes you in his arms and leads you to the dance floor, feeling the sharpest pain he had ever felt while watching you smiling and dancing with someone that wasn't him.
{ ... }
you decided to ignore kei the moment this handsome stranger whisks you away from him, giggling while having a great time dancing to your favorite song.
the man's rich laughter fills your ears, and you found your heart unexpectedly skipping its beats at the sound of it. "so... was that pissant your boyfriend?"
you roll your eyes while turning around to face him, still dancing with him while talking to him through the music, "yeah, he's an asshole, but... he's my asshole."
now that you could see him up close, you realized that this guy was utterly gorgeous. with gentle brown locks of hair cascading over his forehead and coffee brown eyes, you felt as though you could drown in his gaze. his full lips were upturned in a gentle smile when he suddenly leans in to whisper to you.
"don't look now, but i think your man is getting jealous."
"hmph, serves him right for not dancing with me."
you could feel the stranger's smile against the shell of your ear, "well, maybe this will get him to react like the way you want him to."
the fast-paced song suddenly turns into something slower and more intimate, making you gasp when your dance partner takes you in his arms while looking behind him. you couldn't tell what he was doing, but from the way he held up his hand while lifting up a finger aimed directly at your boyfriend, you could feel the heat rising up against your cheeks.
"you- why did you do that for?!"
the handsome stranger lets out another laugh before leaning down to whisper in your ear, "i can tell how much you love him, but just between you and me, if you ever want a real man in your life, come find me. my name's oikawa tooru..."
before you could even deny the need to ever find him, tsukishima was immediately standing in front of you, shoving oikawa away with his chest puffing out in response. "i think that's enough of you grinding on some other man's woman. know your place, asshole."
his voice was filled with venom as oikawa takes a step backwards, hands held up in feign defeat as amusement was seen shining in his chocolate brown gaze. "hey hey, no need to get so upset, i was just helping her have a good time, that's all."
"we're leaving."
unable to say anything else, you look back at oikawa and give him an apologetic expression, only to be met with his wide smile as he mouths something at you.
take care and be happy.
{ ... }
"yo, jackass, your blind date just saw that stunt that you pulled and left the bar."
oikawa was forced to look away from the retreating couple, meeting his best friend's angry gaze with a sheepish expression on his face. "ah, damn iwa, did izumi leave after all?"
"that's what i just told you." iwaizumi's scowl was enough to make oikawa laugh as he walks away from the dance floor and back to his table. "was this why you invited me? so i could keep the girls you reject company while you fuck around?"
"ah come on, don't be that harsh iwa-chan! because when you put it that way, it makes me sound like a bastard."
"that's because you are a bastard." iwaizumi lets out a huff while downing the rest of his drink. "that tall blond looked like he was ready to kick your ass."
"heh, i highly doubt that." oikawa takes his glass and takes a swig out of it. "i was just playing cupid, you know? his girl was way too cute for a tightass like him, so i just did something to make him take action."
oikawa has to bite back his laughter, making a tremendous effort to keep it from bubbling out of him. "you? playing cupid? don't make me sick, assikawa."
"alright alright, i'll shut up." he sighs while leaning back on his seat, thinking back to that super cute girl with that beanpole boyfriend. "she was really cute though, so i'm hopeful that she'll take me up on my offer..."
{ ... }
"kei, s-stop, you're going too fast- k-kei, you're hurting me!"
with a gasp, kei finally stops walking, looking behind him to see you holding back your tears. he looks down and finally realizes that he has been holding your hand in a vicegrip while dragging you along, further fueling his guilt.
letting you go, he turns away from you while letting out a string of curses.
"i know you want to do it, so just fucking do it." kei was glaring at you, and he knew that he was just jealous and upset, but he couldn't stop himself.
"d-do what, kei?"
he takes your hand and leads you towards an alleyway, somewhere private and away from any prying eyes. "i know you want to break up with me and go back into that bastard's arms, that's what you want, right? a fun and energetic guy that shares all of your interests and will dance with you on a whim?"
"if that's what you want, then go, go and just-" before kei could continue with his rant, he was suddenly stopped by you. he sees the way you stand on the tip of your toes, placing your hand against his jawline before kissing him. you perfectly place your lips against his in a gentle kiss, and he, being too enamored with how sweet you tasted, basks in it.
the moment your lips met with his, he forgot all about the anger and annoyance he felt. the jealousy was whisked away, forgotten like a puff of smoke escaping into the cold night air. not wanting to let you go, kei wraps his arms around you, allowing his fingertips to play with the soft strands of your hair.
he could feel his heart pounding from out of his chest when you pull away from the kiss first. your eyes were filled with adoration and kindness, and he felt like such a bastard all over again upon realizing that you still loved him, even now.
with a grunt of your name, kei wraps his arms around you, burying his face within your hair while murmuring an apology.
"'m sorry."
"i'm sorry, too." was your reply. you silently beckon him to face you, framing his handsome face with your two hands.
"i know you were probably tired from your classes and wanted to just stay in. i'm sorry for making you go out when you probably felt tired. how about we order some ramen and we can stop by that bakery and get you the strawberry shortcake that you love so much?"
kei was absolutely astounded by how sweet you were, making him give you a tiny frown, "you're not mad at me?"
"of course not, silly."
"you don't want to leave me?"
"nope!"
"even when i'm a bastard?"
"you're my bastard."
"and you still love me?"
"i'll always love you!" you answer him with the widest and most beautiful smile that kei felt his heart ache and turn soft in response.
he remains silent, simply embracing you once more while pressing a kiss against your hair.
"next time we go out, i promise i'll shut up and dance with you when you ask."
and truly, you wouldn't want him any other way ♡
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a.n. - it's been so long since i've written anything for my haikyuu!! boys; this is currently unedited, but i hope you readers enjoy this story! 🥹
all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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thinkingabthim · 1 year
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🎧📚。✧⭒˚ ~ I lost her now for sure.
Genre: Angst
Tsukishima Kei x reader
Summary: You come up with topics, specifically things you know he'll enjoy and ramble about, only for him to give you short answers and continue to neglect you. Ever since you've been official he has shown no interest in you. What did you do wrong? Did he like you back or did he say yes because he pitied you?
Word count: 761
Inspired by: mischievouskiss2 and Can't love you anymore by IU
Warnings: cringe
A/N: Hey.... How y'all doin.... I CAN EXPLAIN WHY I HAVEN'T UPDATED SINCE AUGUST 25. School is hard okay. Also this was originally named 'Putangina Gago' bcz I didn't know what to name it ☠️ Also if it's an italic it's a flashback okay ty that's all. Also I finished this at 2am so if there's typos and bad plot things don't mind that shhh
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It all started with a simple text conversation.
At first you didn’t mind it, maybe he was just tired from training.
Kei<3
You Today 6:20 pm
Where are you?
Kei<3 Today 6:20 pm
Where are you?
You Today 6:21 pm
I’m at home, how about you?
Kei<3 Today 6:21 pm
I’m walking home
You Today 6:21 pm
Sweet! Are you almost home? I’m thinking we can hang out :)?
Kei<3 Today 6:22 pm
Oh, sorry.
You Today 6:22 pm
For what?
Kei<3 Today 6:22 pm
For right now.
You Today 6:22 pm
What do you mean right now? Go home, we can talk about it here.
Kei<3 Today 6:23 pm
I left my wallet there. I promised Yamaguchi I’ll hang with him after practice.
You Today 6:23 pm
Ah! Okay, we can hang out next time then !!
Kei<3 Today 6:23 pm
mhm.
Soon enough, your relationship has gone to dust.
Ever since you’ve been official he has shown no interest in you.
Always avoiding hanging out with you, he hasn’t even told you about you two to any of his friends.
And he barely even showed that you two were together. You understood if he wanted to have a private relationship, but maybe he could’ve talked to you about it, so you won’t overthink about him not loving you anymore.
“Hey Kei! I just wanted to talk to you about something-”
“Not right now Y/n.”
“Okay.”
It barely felt like a relationship, it felt more like a distant friendship.
You’ve had enough.
You’ve been putting all your energy, affection, and your time in this one sided relationship.
He has shown no effort, nor did he care.
Did he care about you?
Did he just say yes because he pitied you?
You knocked on his door, his mom answered.
“Ah! Y/n! Kei is upstairs! Do you want anything? There’s tea in the cupboards, and water in the fridge. I’d love to stay and chat but I have to run some errands.” She smiles at you, she gives you a small hug and quickly leaves afterwards, waving to you goodbye.
You wave back and quickly close the door, running up the stairs as quickly as possible.
You knock on Kei’s door before letting yourself in.
He looks up from whatever he's writing on his desk to see who entered.
“Hi”
“Hi” you both exchange leaving an awkward silence.
Tsukishima looks back down on his desk to continue to work on his homework.
“So how have you been?”
“Okay”
“That’s good…”
Silence fills the room, the only thing you can hear is pen scribbling against some paper.
“How was your hangout with Yams the other day?”
“It was good”
“Okay…”
You try to think of another thing to spark a conversation, your thought only being interrupted by his voice.
“Is that all?” he asks in a monotone voice
“Ah, yes uhm, sorry to disturb your studies” you awkwardly said trying not to let the tears drop down
As you walk to the door, you froze. You start to think. If you didn’t end the relationship right now the empty feeling in your heart will go on as long as you will be alive.
"Y/n?” he says, interrupting your thoughts.
You finally snapped, you grabbed the nearest thing (which was a pile of laundry on his bed which he did not fold yet) and started throwing it at him, crying, frustrated.
“Ow! HEy!” He got up trying to block himself from your (weak) throws
Though he tried to hold you to calm you down you did not stop throwing clothes at him.
“Stop! What are you doing?” He finally got you to stop
“This is all wrong! This isn’t how it should be!” You yell, crying;
“What?” He questions
"I hate this. I can’t stand it! You don’t even look at me!”
He stares at you, even you can’t tell what he's feeling.
It proves he didn’t really care about me, you thought.
“You don’t care about me at all! You don’t care what I do!”
“You don’t love me anymore, do you?”
“Y/n-”
“I don’t think we’re in love anymore” you shout
“Y/n, calm down!”
“No! Why did you say yes in the first place?”
“...”
“I’m the only one that’s putting effort in this relationship.”
“I can’t do this!’ You yell as you run out of the door
“Y/n!”
He yelled after you, but he didn’t bother to run after you.
Cum guzzler i hate happy people and also sorry for the shitty ending I did not know how to end it 👎
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denkithunder · 1 year
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your melody came to kill us
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character: tsukishima kei
wc: 344
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Kill Us -Jessie Reyez
But I can't learn my lesson I miss when you were my best friend Before love came to kill us
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“Hey, come over. I’m bored.” You mumble out, phone pressed between your cheek and shoulder while you rummage through your fridge, looking for the leftovers of yesterday’s dinner.
“It’s late.” You hear him sign on the other side of the phone, a movie you assume to be Jurassic Park ||| playing in the background.
“Doesn’t matter, sleep over.” You grumble out, annoyed at yourself when you remembered you ate the leftovers for breakfast.
“Can you pick something up on your way over, I’m starving.” You plead as you take the phone in your hand, walking out of the kitchen and towards your room.
“I’m not going.” He sounds annoyed as he pauses the movie, your stomach twists as you realize why. “We talked about this.”
Tears begin to form rapidly and your throat tightens as you sit on your bed, the walls of your bedroom spinning too quickly. You pull your phone away as you wipe the tears that fall, sniffling as quietly as you could before putting your phone on speaker.
“I know.” You scout back on your bed, pulling your feet up to your chest after removing your cow slippers. “But I miss you.”
You wait for him to speak, flinching when you hear his tongue click against his teeth.
“We’ve been best friends since we were kids, Kei. I don’t want to lose my best friend because of whatever happened between us.” You continue to scout back on tour bed, reaching the headboard.
You smile softly, grabbing the dinosaur plushie he’d given you on your 5th birthday. It was a small blue triceratops, in the best condition it could be after nearly two decades.
You smile fondly at the stuffed animal, frowning when you hear his next words.
“We’ve already been through this, it didn’t work out.” He mutters, shuffling around his apartment for a moment.
“I-” You didn’t know what to say but you knew you had to say something so you wouldn’t lose your best friend.
“Tell me how to fix this, how to fix us.”
Can I fix us?
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you do not have permission to repost or translate any of my work on here or any other social media
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keiyoomi · 1 year
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last chance
details: t. kei × gn!reader ; 800+ w/c ; loosely related to my first tsukishima fic?
trigger warning/s: murder ideation; implied stalking; implied blackmailing;
note: I'm getting rusty after not being able to write for more than a year now. let me know what you think!
listening to the sound of waves as it hits the rocky shore soothes your racing heart.
you've established a rule for yourself ever since you broke up with kei: severed relationships shall never be salvaged—no matter what might happen in the future.
but such rule was immediately ignored as soon as your gazes met at the reunion party of the old karasuno team.
he still has that air of arrogance that kept you riled up as a teenager. his features have already matured and he became taller over time.
most of the former members of karasuno learned about your past relationship when you were both in college—when he was still in a relationship with that other person after ghosting you.
“of all places, why did you chose this place for our conversation?”
“i've learned to keep my options open at all times.” you didn't bother to turn around look at him when you replied. “depending on your answer, I can to listen to the ocean while contemplating whether to forgive you and give you a chance.”
then, you glance at him. he walked towards your direction and stood close to you. he was wearing a frown on his face, clearly not amused by your statement earlier.
“and your other option?” he asked, stuffing his bare hands in his coat's pocket.
“bash your head against the rock if you piss me off.” then, you shrugged. “i can drag your body towards the water; let you drown until your body disappears—”
you paused upon feeling the weight of his hand on your shoulder. you turned to him and saw him covering his face with his palm.
“you good?”
“can you tone down your ideas... please?” the he removed his hand from his face. “i know that what I did before was wrong. I shouldn't done what I did to you back then. I know that I deserve all the hate that I receive from you, but...”
he pursed his lips.
“...I never lied to you whenever I said those three words. never.”
“hmm... I highly doubt it.” you looked at his face and gave him a tight-lipped smile. “i bet you've said those words to her too. while you suddenly cut me off of your life.”
“never.”
“what?”
“i've never said that to her.” you couldn't see his reaction as he spoke. “that's the reason why she broke up with me.”
you chuckled. “hm... I think you just don't want to be—” you paused while motioning your head towards the ocean.
“i'm telling you that I'm still in love with you after all these years. I am still hoping for your forgiveness. Hoping for you to love me again.”
“why?”
“huh?”
“why did you suddenly leave? why did you not even tell me that you're leaving? why did you tell everyone we know to never tell me where you are?” you asked before your voice broke. “just... why?”
he looked down and fiddled with his fingers.
“i... I love you too much that I want you to be with me.”
“what?”
his teary eyes met your confused gaze.
“i wanted to be with you until you graduate. I wanted to stay by your side and wait until we can go to college together.” he pursed his lips and covered his face with his hands.
you remained silent, processing everything he just told you.
“but hearing you look forward to a future where you achieve your goals even after we settle down made me realized how immature I was acting.”
he chuckled dryly.
“i am filled with too much love for you that i was willing to forget about my own dreams. I love you too much that I almost abandoned my goals, my passion... myself.”
“...and when you met her? did she made you recall who you are? did she reminded you of who you are before we met?”
“no. no.” he shook his head while looking into your eyes. “they were...” he paused. “they know who you are. they were one of those people who learned about me after watching our games.”
you shook your head, refusing to believe what he was implying to say. it wasn't impossible, but should you believe the words that comes out of his lips?
“i-i would never—ever—put you in danger. not when I can do something to prevent you from getting hurt.”
“i... I need more time to think...”
“please...” he said, kneeling in front of you while wrapping his arms around your legs. “give me another chance...”
“do you know how much I suffered after you left me? you idiot!” you replied while crying your heart out. you tried to pull him away from you but he kept his arms wrapped around you.
“let me go! hands off me!” you brush the tears from your eyes. “i won't believe a word that you say. you broke my heart. ignored me after we met again and now you're asking me for another chance?”
“give me a chance, please! just one last chance!”
you turned your head towards the glistening waters of the ocean as the sun began to set.
strangers from afar would think that it was some romantic proposal. the setting exudes romance on par with those scenes that could only be seen from movies and described by the writers on their works.
but reality was far from the imagination they have.
“one last chance.” you look at his pitiful figure. “give me another chance to myself to you. if you still believe that I'm not worthy of you...”
“i hate you...” you whispered.
tsukishima faltered as he heard those words from your lips. his arms slowly loosened around your legs, losing every ounce of hope that he has in his system.
“you big dummy.” you wept before kneeling in front of him too. “you could've told somebody about that person! you could've told the police about it! you could've told me.”
you leaned your head against his chest and cried with him. “all these years I've hated every fiber of your being. I hated you for leaving me behind.”
“i'm sorry,” he whispered, pulling you close to him. “i'm so sorry... for all the pain that i've caused you...”
you wrapped your arms around him while telling him the pain that you've felt all those years—and allowed him to soothe you until the sun finally sets from the horizon.
do not repost on other platforms | keiyoomi © 2023
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c1nnam00n · 1 month
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me seeing that my fav character barely/doesn’t have any fanfics OR imagines
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tetsumie · 1 year
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"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘"
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read part 2 here!
pairing: tsukishima x reader & suna x reader
genre: hurt/comfort
a/n: sorry i got carried away writing these ahh i sort of twisted the prompt of "when they call you clingy" into my own sort of thing idk how to explain but hopefully this turned out well :,) also not proofread so sorry about the mistakes! and as always feel free to send me requests and tell me ur thoughts on my writing!
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tsukishima kei
tsukishima, you, and a few of the former karsuno volleyball players decided to have a small little reunion dinner after not seeing each other for so long.
everyone's embracing each other with hugs and to be frank, it's really nice of him to invite you to meet his friends from high school! you're really looking forward to getting to know them and maybe even getting to know your boyfriend a bit more.
as all of you are sitting at the table debating what to order, there's much chit chat between everyone and you swear you haven't seen kei so carefree in a while. sure, he's still throwing his sarcastic, snarky comments but they don't hit too harshly towards his teammates.
they are most definitely used to this.
the food has arrived and way too much wine has been ordered. with their slurred words and pink cheeks, you can tell all of them are going to blackout the moment they all get home.
"kei, so how'd you pull this gorgeous girl?" tanaka asks out of nowhere "ain't no way she fell for your snarky ass personality."
you and him both let out a chuckle and he replied with, "nah, they're just clingy as fuck and i guess they were fun to keep around."
you go quiet and the laughter has sort of died out. but the drinks keep pouring and nishinoya speaks.
"god, you're a fucking asshole," nishinoya chimes. "she's way too good for you.
although the conversation begins to take a turn in a different direction, you can't seem to get his words out of your mind.
clingy. he thinks i'm clingy.
a ball of insecurity starts to form in your stomach and his comment starts the train of overthinking. you keep telling yourself that he's had too many drinks.
yet a part of you is telling you that drunk thoughts are sober words.
how long has he thought of me as "clingy?"
the small chuckles and laughs that escape your lips have come to a halt and now you're feeling incredibly insecure. you begin to zone out and start chugging down a few glasses of wine to drown out your surroundings.
after a few eventful hours, you and tsukishima decide to grab a taxi and head home for the night. he unlocks the door to your shared apartment and you immediately head into the bedroom to change your clothes, not sparing him a second glance.
tsukishima enters the bed after cleaning up and his arm drapes over your chest. your body goes completely stiff and you're super uncomfortable with his touch, especially after his comment about you being clingy.
the moment you hear his light snores, you slowly remove his arm off your body and turn to face away from him. a feeling of numbness begins to overtake your body and you feel a sense of emptiness within.
the next morning, tsukishima woke up with a horrible headache and he instantly regretted drinking so much last night. he groans and pats your side of the bed and is greeted by just the bedsheets and not you.
grumbling, he got out of bed in search of you and finds you standing by the balcony with a cup of coffee in your hand. in that moment, his heart skips a beat and he's reminded of how much he loves you.
you yelp in surprise when you feel two arms slither around your torso and his chin resting on your shoulder. "good morning baby," he kisses your cheek.
"hi kei," you say curtly.
"what's for breakfast?"
"i just made myself toasted bread with jam. you can just make some cereal or something. i think we still have your lucky charms in the pantry," you tell him.
he pulls away from you and he feels something is off with you. you feel distant.
the feeling is confirmed when the both of you are sitting on the living room sofa while watching the new episode of your favorite reality tv show. kei expects you to come close to him and rest your head on his shoulder like you usually do yet there you are, in his vicinity, but sitting on the other end of the couch, clinging to a throw pillow.
he can't seem to concentrate on the movie when the only thing he can see is you sitting to yourself, gone completely quiet. he doesn't know what's wrong and he can't rack his mind as to what might have happened that made you so distant.
after the movie ends, he kisses your forehead and he feels your body stiffen.
what's going on? i don't know what i did?
he pulls away and looks at you. "y/n, something's wrong," he states.
you refuse to meet his gaze now and your twiddling with your fingers. he seems to have no recollection of what he's said to you last night. although, he might not recall what he said, it's the only thing you can recall in your mind. ever since this morning, whenever, you look at him, the only thing running in your mind is his words, "nah, she's just clingy as fuck and i guess she was fun to keep around."
"we're good," you reply promptly. "don't worry about it."
he grabs your hands and puts them in his which catches you off guard. you love the feeling of his hand in yours but the rational part of your brain wants to pull away, thinking about how he thought you were so clingy.
"listen, i'm not good at this. i'm not good at communicating my feelings but for you, i want to do better. so please, it would mean a lot if you could tell me what's wrong so i can help you and... us."
this is the most genuine you've seen him in a while and although to most, it may have seemed like some half-assed speech but to you, it felt raw and vulnerable.
"ok well," you began. "last night, when we were out with your friends, you were talking with your friends and well, you mentioned something about me. and it made me wonder if you think i'm clingy?"
he was confused. "no, i don't think you're clingy anymore? i don't know what you're talking about?"
the "anymore" in his response to you was something that saddened you a little. he found me clingy yet never told me?
"so you did think i was clingy, right?"
with a deep breath, he began to explain himself, "when we got together, i wasn't really used to... being so close to someone. you would always hold my hand or loop your arm in mine or something. you would always be holding me or touching me and i wasn't sure how i felt it about it at first. i was never one for physical touch so when you began to show that to me, i just... it felt... suffocating."
you're looking into his eyes, swimming with sadness and searching for answers, and he feels a mixture of sadness and guilt as he continues to explain himself.
"but being with you, i've grown to love your touch and honestly, now that i think about it, i don't know what i'd do if you just stopped being yourself and clinging on to me. i would go insane if you stopped."
kei leans in for a hug and you hug him back. you missed holding him like this and well, you just miss him. but now that kei has said all this, you're not sure about anything anymore.
you pull away and tell him, "i'm sorry you couldn't tell me that you were uncomfortable with my touches. i should have asked you how fast or slow you wanted to go and i shouldn't have forced my affection on to you."
"if you want, we can slow down. i understand," you say with a tone of finality in your voice.
"no!" he immediately replied. "it's.. it's not that. you don't force your affection on to me. you never have. i just am awkward with affection and growing up, i've never had it so i'd get super fidgety and that's why i think i felt like you were being clingy. but i love it."
"i love it when you hold my hand when we're walking to the grocery store. i love it when you doodle on my hand with your fingers when we're waiting for the food to come when we eat out. i love it when you tell me about the little stories from work while you're cooking dinner. i love it when you mumble in your sleep and snuggle close to me when it gets cold at night. i love everything about you."
kei was very much out of his comfort zone as he told you all these things and it surprised you that he noticed all these little details. you could tell he was getting embarrassed, considering how his cheeks were turning pink. you couldn't help but let a little smile seep through your facial features.
"you're so sappy," you reply.
"oh shut up."
you both laugh and then he cups your cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb in circles. "don't ever think you force your affection on me because you never do, okay?"
"okay, kei."
the both of you spend the rest of the day with one another, making comforting memories together that the both of you will fondly remember in the future.
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suna rintaro
you're not even sure how this argument even started. all you can remember is asking suna if he could accompany you to a work party that you were invited to. it was supposed to be a relatively relaxing event with not too much worries yet suna was once again trying to bail out.
"come on rin! it's one party and we never get to go out anymore," you try again for the nth time.
"y/n, jesus, i told you this, i don't want to fucking go! practice is draining me out and the one day i get off, you want me to go to some stupid fucking work party. can't you see that i want to be home?"
"we won't even have to be there that long! i just want you to come with me so you can meet some of my friends and support me. i'm really not asking for much," you counter. "i'm always trying to go to your games to support you from the stands and i'm asking you to do this one thing for me."
"i never fucking asked you to come to my games!" suna's voice began to rise and you felt yourself shrink. you had never seen him so intensely angry before. he was always so nonchalant so seeing this side of him made you nervous. "god, you're just so suffocating with everything. you always wanna do shit together, like jeez, give me a break. you're so fucking clingy sometimes; i just want space."
your mouth snaps shut and you can't find it in yourself to even reply. suna leaves the bedroom and you can head the jangle of his keys and the front door opens and then slams shut. a tear escapes from one eye and then all of a sudden, it's a full blown mental breakdown. you're sitting on the bed, crying off all your makeup.
after your cries turn into sniffles, you call up one of your colleagues, telling them you won't be attending the party. that night, you end up crying yourself to sleep.
suna had come home quite late that night after storming out.
in his head, he admits that the argument had blown up for no reason. but he just really didn't want to see your coworkers. he was cranky, annoyed, and irritated, making him deeply irrational.
as he walks into the bedroom, he sees you fast asleep in your clothes that you were planning to go out in and your makeup smudged all over your face. he felt incredibly guilty.
he messed up big time and he had to fix this. he hoped in the morning, the both of you would wake up together so he could talk it out and apologize.
you wake up the next morning feeling a lot better than last night. you turn to see suna lying in bed and a part of you just wants to run your fingers through your hair. as your fingers hover above his head, you're reminded of his words from last night.
you're so fucking clingy sometimes. i just want space.
your fingers immediately retracted and you decided to get up to start the rest of your day. you didn't want to let his words get to you. he said his opinion and there's nothing much you could do other than give him space. you'd be doing him a favor by giving him that space that he wanted, right?
suna shifts in bed, arm reaching out to your side of the bed, subconsciously. as he pats down your side of the bed, he feels the emptiness and he jolts up out of bed.
he's walking out of the bedroom and he sees you sitting on the couch, watching something on the television.
a sigh of relief escapes his mouth, thanking whatever deity out there that you hadn't left. even if you did, he couldn't blame you for it. he hurt you and there was no denying that.
"hi babe," he casually says alouds and plops on the couch next to you.
"hey."
your tone is cold and to be frank, you could care less than speak to him right now. seeing him is just a constant reminder of how clingy you are and you really don't want to be confronted with the feeling of sadness again.
in an attempt to smooth things over with you, he tries to start conversation in hopes that things will get back to normal naturally and maybe.. just maybe you'll know that he's sorry without him saying it.
"osamu was talking about some new onigiri thing he made and he wanted to drop some off for us to try. should i say yes?" he asked.
"sure."
your responses to his efforts are completely shut down and he's just praying that things get better with time. he reassures himself that things will go back to normal, it's just a matter of time. within a few days, things will be back to normal!
that's what he thought until his first volleyball match of the season came about. as he was standing in the court, his eyes scanned the rest of the stadium for your figure in hopes of finding you wearing his jersey but to no avail, he couldn't find you.
he assumed you were running late or stuck in traffic. no matter what you would be here, right?
but the first set is already over and you're nowhere to be seen. taking a quick break, he texts you:
suna: r u here?
suna: i don't see u in the stands.
it's delivered and suna's back in the court. he's misreading all of the opponent's attacks and his blocks are all being haphazardly done. the only thing on his mind is you.
the EJP coach calls for a timeout and sits him out for the rest of the match. "i don't know what's going on with you but you need to pull it together. your slacking is messing up with the rest of the team," coach berated him and all suna could do was nod his head.
he sat on the bench and immediately grabs his phone to text you.
suna: can you please answer?
suna: or call me? please?
suna: fuck y/n
suna: r u ok?
with no response, concern is etched onto his face. he tells his coach that he has to go and although he's about to suffer hell when he goes to practice tomorrow for dipping, he needs to see you.
you're seeing all of his messages.
you've seen all of them.
and you don't want to respond to a single one of them.
you know he's coming home and he's about to bombard you with questions and you don't want to respond to him. you don't want to come off as clingy again.
you hear the jangle of the keys and prepare yourself.
he opens the door and finds you in the kitchen, making yourself some snacks.
"so where were you today?" he begins.
"at home."
his hands find their way to your waist and he slowly turns you around to look him in the eye. "why didn't you come?"
you sigh in frustration. "i don't know what you want from me. you say i'm clingy and you want some space and on top of that you mentioned how you've never asked me to go to any of your games so here i am respecting your wishes like you asked yet you have the fucking audacity to ask me where i was and why i wasn't with you?"
his hands let go of your waist and he steps back to fully look at you.
"rin, i don't know what you want from me anymore."
suna's mouth opens and then shuts, not sure as to what to say to you. you were more upset about his comment than you let on and now all your anger and frustration was coming out.
"listen, i-"
"no, you listen to me," you interrupt, immediately shutting him up. "all i wanted that night was for you to come to my work party. it's all i wanted. that party was mainly for me because i helped our company reach this new milestone! and i wanted you to come and celebrate with me and my colleagues. is it so much to ask for my boyfriend to come support me?"
"and then you go on to say i'm clingy and do you have any idea how much it hurt me when you said that? when you would talk to me about anything, the only thing going through my head would be the fact that you called me clingy and god, i just wanted to vanish in thin air because i hated knowing that you thought that of me which is why i gave you your space. i kept thinking you just didn't want my affection."
you rest your elbows on the kitchen countertop and put your face in your hands. you finally burst out with all the feelings that have been suffocating your mind. it felt good to finally relieve it all but you could only imagine what was going through his mind. was he mad or upset or did he just not care about my feelings?
all of a sudden, you feel two arms wrap around your torso and kisses to the top of your head.
"love, you're not clingy. if anything, i'm the clingy one. i always want you by my side like at my games or when i go out with my friends or even if i'm just lying in bed. i want you."
he strokes your hair and now you're turning around to look at him again. his eyes are wide and a bit glassy. this is probably one of the first times you've seen emotion on his face aside from his regular snarky remarks.
"i wish i could take back what i said that night but i can't. but please know that i don't know what i'd do without you. i was really upset that night and all i wanted to was just sleep it off. but your insistence to go got me aggravated and i lashed out. you don't deserve that. you never deserve that."
"i want to be the one you wake up to in the morning. i want to be the one you take to all your work parties and events. i want to be the one you tell you gossip with. i want to be the one you have your late night talks with. i want to be the one you end your nights with. i want to be the one you spend the rest of your life with. i want to be yours."
tears started to escape your eyes and your heart was swollen. suna was never one to be so open with his emotions yet here he was opening so much to you. you hug his torso and sob into his chest.
"i love you, i'm sorry," you say.
"i love you too, and i'm sorry too," he replies, kissing the top of your forehead.
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© tetsumie 2023 all rights reserved 
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9K notes · View notes
ilylovelyz · 9 months
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haikyuu boys when protective of you
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most likely gets into a fight, does throw the first punch, and dramatically whines afterwards, forcing you to be his personal nurse ATSUMU, TANAKA, nishinoya, terushima, IWAIZUMI, hoshiumi
so insulting and almost degrading to whoever is threatening you that the offender ends up leaving out of embarrassment TSUKISHIMA, shirabu, KUROO, kenma, sugawara, daishou, akira, SUNA, kageyama, ushijima, futakuchi, hanamaki
YOU'RE the one who is protecting them SAKUSA, hachi, bokuto, YAMAGUCHI, GOSHIKI, asahi, tendo, AONE, oikawa (somehow), koganegawa, LEV
does his best to diffuse the situation, but ultimately leaves angry and mentally hexes them KIYOKO, akaashi, KITA, DAICHI, hinata, yaku, hirugami
spends the night in jail KENTARO, semi, yamamoto, mattsun, OSAMU
2K notes · View notes
kentolove · 2 years
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When Tsukishima gets comfortable, he really gets comfortable.
You learned that eight months into your relationship, when Tsukishima walked into the bathroom—with you on the toilet—heading for the sink to brush his teeth.
“Kei!” You nearly scream, clutching your chest to calm yourself down. “I’m using the bathroom here?”
“I can see,” he says, and you groan, throwing your head back in defeat. It really doesn’t help that the mirror is perfectly placed, in a way that allows your Kei to look at you directly in the eye while you sit on the toilet looking as unflattering as ever.
“Then leave? I can’t even piss in peace.”
“Why would I leave?” He puts the toothbrush in his mouth, “I’ve seen worse.”
“It’s impossible to argue with you,” you cry. And you’re right. Tsukishima Kei is insufferable, and he may be too comfortable with you already.
-
You learn Tsukishima has no sense of personal space soon after.
When he loves someone, his affection comes in odd ways. Sometimes it’s a flick to the forehead, other times it’s a teasing remark, and today, it’s him asking you if he could stay with you while you shower.
It’s not necessary the worst request, but when you consider the fact that he’s asking to sit on a stool and talk to you while you bathe, you find it a bit strange.
“Why would you even want that?” You ask him, all while you get ready for your nighttime shower.
“I just wanna be there.”
You shrug, tell him “sure”, and move on with your day. He sits on the toilet seat as you shower, recounting his day and all the small things that ticked him off.
“I never knew you could talk this much,” you laugh. He’s not necessarily the most quiet partner, but words are often few when it comes to your Kei. He’s more of a listener than anything, telling you how much he likes to hear your voice when you “bitch about everything.” (His words, not yours.)
-
Once you spend enough time with Tsukishima, though, you learn that he’s not evasive, just caring. He cares for you in ways you’ve never been loved before.
He shows you this when you feel as if you’re looking the Grim Reaper in the eyes, period cramps eating you away, and laying in your shared bed.
“Get up,” he whispers, careful to not yell for he knows how much you hate loud noises.
“Don’t talk to me.”
He knows it’s the cramps talking, so he only responds with a roll of his eyes.
“Okay,” he says, and begins to lift you off the bed. You nearly scream in shock, hitting his chest lightly.
“Put me down!” You kick your legs as he carries you bridal-style towards the bathroom. You know what he’s doing, trying to motivate you to not wallow in your pain, but you’re far too stubborn and in too much pain to care.
“Don’t ignore me!”
“You told me not to talk to you,” he retorts, gently placing you on the closed toilet seat and kneeling in front of you. “I ran a bath for you.”
You stare at him, head tilted to the side, and you wonder how you got so damn lucky.
“You want me to strip you, or?” He speaks up in the midst of your silence.
“Don’t be an ass.”
“That’s what I do best,” he smiles, lifting your hands up to remove your shirt (it’s his, really) from your body.
14K notes · View notes
cr4yolaas · 26 days
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for lovers who hesitate — tsukishima kei
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synopsis: you find your old academic rival at your new job. every bone in your body says it’s fate, but everything else seems to be stopping you.
notes: puking cuz idk how i feel abt this one. i worked on this all thru out my trip and there was a lot of scrapping and rewriting and deleting the entire thing and rewriting it again, but i think this version is the best i could get it to. i <3 tsukishima kei
tags: fluff → angst → fluff, self-indulgent long fic, reader smokes, reader has trauma w/ their parents, mainly fem reader oriented but gn pronouns used, reader has self-destructive habits, themes of self-doubt from both, tsukishima is probably ooc, slow burn but not really, the most awkward love confession ever, mitski rdr x radiohead tsukishima (sorry), proofread but not really
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tsukishima kei, for once, was at a loss for words.
there you stood beneath the bright green foliage, your face marred by the heatwaves of the sun and still all too familiar. he thought, for a moment, that he had the wrong person — you had taken on a rougher appearance, but his body, heart, and soul still recognized you. and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to speak to you.
where had the last decade gone?
he coughed into his fist and walked past you, feigning ignorance to your arrival. when you followed after him with a keycard of your own, he found himself flustered.
no words were exchanged. he was playing the silent game with you, although he quietly hoped you would say something first.
and thus, he continued his shift as usual, with the added oddity of you shadowing him alongside his boss. he just couldn’t find the proper words to place on his tongue, nor the right gestures to show that he did want to talk, he just didn’t know how to.
but truthfully, what was one supposed to say in such a situation?
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
you believed that tsukishima hated you. and you wouldn’t blame him.
when you applied for this job, you had no expectations going into it, save for the hope of a higher salary and a lighter load than your previous job. what you had not anticipated was to stand face to face with the man you swore to hate in your youth.
a sliver of hope embedded itself within you; an overwhelming desire to perhaps refurbish a long lost relationship had taken root. but when he looked away so persistently and spoke not a word to you, that sliver dissipated into meaningless sand.
you continued your work as best as possible. it was a routine job — set up the displays for the day, guide whatever visitors came around, and leave in the afternoon. but when a certain blonde was sneaking glances at you and somehow always in your vicinity, it proved to be easier said than done.
you were too afraid to admit that his presence was refreshing. that, in the midst of the mundane and borderline unhealthy cycle you had formulated within the past handful of years following graduation, he had proven to be an odd factor; he stood as a disruptor to the routine. it was unwelcome. and even still, you craved it and more.
tsukishima kei had always been a constant in your life. you just didn’t expect him to reappear so soon, so suddenly.
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
it was a wednesday. an uneventful shift had come to an end. and just as you rid yourself of your work attire, a verbal invitation to a work party was sent your way.
the prospect of it was almost laughable. you were under the impression that the body of employees in a museum would be too reserved to host parties such as this, and you were quickly proven otherwise. thus, you accepted instantly.
as soon as you sat down, you regretted it just as quickly.
the moon had just barely begun to hang bright in the sky, and yet the table was already full of drunken coworkers that you hadn’t seen before. loud chatter filled the room, as if this table was the only one in the establishment. it was overbearing.
before you could take even a sip of your drink, you excused yourself under the pretense of needing to use the restroom. instead, you escaped outside, the gentle breeze reestablishing your senses and reeling you back in.
he was also there.
“oh,” he exclaimed softly. his eyes drifted away from yours, the warmth of his cheeks illuminated by the dim lamp above. oh was the first word he had ever spoken to you since graduation. you nearly laughed.
“hello,” you offered quietly, still testing the waters of conversation. your gaze fell to his fingers, slim and cherry-kissed and blemished, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “um… i didn’t expect to see you here…?”
tsukishima laughed lightly at your tone, as if to conceal his own anxieties. “likewise.” he watched as you pulled out a cigarette, the stick meeting your lips like it were more than natural. “did you come all this way to stalk me? or to follow me? after all those years of silence?” he teased, although a tinge of bitterness dripped from his words.
you shook your head aggressively. “no, no, i just…” you bit at your lip for a moment before continuing. “i’m taking a break from my actual job. i needed to wind down before i return.”
tsukishima hummed at your response, evidently oblivious to your lie. he looked at you for a moment too long, his eyes grazing over each alteration and unfamiliar feature. he could not help but admire you in this light — the soft strings of moonlight in contrast with the neon signs glaring against your complexion painted an image he hadn’t seen in ages.
for the first time in a long time, tsukishima kei thought you were unbearably pretty.
what he didn’t catch wind of was your nervous shuffles and your incessant skin-picking as you stood beside him. he didn’t realize that the cigarette was a distractor, a tool to pull you back in. and he failed to acknowledge the stutter in your voice as you spoke to him, for it hadn’t crossed his mind once that you thought he disliked you. not that it would matter to him, anyways.
it’s too soon, he thought to himself. this is stupid, he argued. i’d mess it up if i did anything reckless, he reasoned. all of which were excuses to fight against the overwhelming reality of his vulnerability.
you turned your head away, the extended silence whittling away at whatever confidence you once bore. tsukishima watched with framed eyes and a calculative stare, as if scrutinizing each and every action you took. unbeknownst to you, it was the exact opposite of that.
the soft call of your name from inside the bar pulled your attention away, much to his dismay. he witnessed your frame disappear through the doors, your eyes flitting towards his so quickly he might’ve imagined it.
this was foolish. tsukishima decided that much. but despite his claims of how stupid it was, he was getting reeled in faster than he could pull out.
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
despite how hard he tried to display his ignorance, tsukishima was caring at his core.
silent glances exchanged between shifts morphed into small conversations shared whenever possible, as if the tension that previously barred you from interaction had dissipated into nothingness.
at some point, he dropped off a neatly wrapped bento box to your desk, the fabric littered with small dinosaur doodles.
“what is this?” you questioned, an amused lilt to your voice. you failed to notice the way pink rose to his ears, too enamored by the intricate arrangement of veggies and rice.
“don’t think anything of it. i just had leftover food and didn’t want to waste it.” the excuse slipped through his lips as if it were truth, earning him a soft smile from you.
there were butterflies whipping their wings against his ribcage so aggressively they might have bulged out from his skin.
eventually, you invited him out for a walk to the convenience store nearby during your break. and after that, it became routine. with an umbrella in one hand and his wallet in another, tsukishima walked with you down the street to buy onigiri and sandwiches and sometimes a sweet treat nearly every day, and that shared hour became his favorite part of work.
it was silly.
you sat beside him in the booth, your blistered hands carefully unwrapping the plastic from your meal. to your left sat a can of soda. and to your right, he was there.
“i need to stop living off of these,” you complained while motioning towards the onigiri in your grasp.
tsukishima shook his head. “what else would you eat?”
“your bento boxes,” you commented absentmindedly, your bites becoming larger as you neared the center of the rice. “i liked it, when you gave it to me that one time. you should make it again.”
he looked away, his chin resting atop the sweat of his palm. slowly, he turned towards you. “it’s just a bento box. surely you can handle making one.”
“oh, shut up!” you laughed while shoving him lightly. “the fact that you can even make one is shocking. all you have in that head is volleyball and shit.”
“our old test scores say otherwise,” he quipped. the shift in your eyes left a bitter taste on his tongue.
“whatever,” you muttered before leaving to throw out your trash. a pit grew in tsukishima’s stomach.
the blonde mustered the last of his resolve and made an offer. “i’ll teach you how to make one.”
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
of all the things tsukishima was bracing himself to see, a thinly-walled apartment that was less than well-maintained was the last thing he was prepared for.
you came out from your bedroom in clothes that were far more casual than his, your hair disheveled and your steps uneven. “sorry for the mess,” you uttered while bending down to pick up a hoodie sprawled across the floor, alongside a plastic bag that looked empty. he could only watch in awe.
he placed his bag down on your counter before arranging the ingredients, each brought from his own home. the clatter of your rushed cleaning echoed behind him. and when you finally stood beside the man, he could not contain his grin.
tsukishima decided to hold his tongue. instead, he opted to gently guide your hands through each step, the perspiration collecting on his skin a stark contrast from the rough texture of yours. he realized how little you knew, despite your insistence that you were more than knowledgeable in what you were doing — it showed in your unstable cutting and your hesitance when preparing the pot for boiling — but he refrained from commenting, in fear of disrupting the peace he’d constructed.
on the other hand, you were horrified.
to admit that you were inferior to him in yet another aspect uprooted the envy you had burrowed deep within yourself, and you were terrified of letting it overspill. he was so calm — at least, that was what it looked like — and you’d be damned to ruin it.
mitski’s soft hums reverberated in the background, your shaky chopping filling in the rest of the noise. it was almost satirical — the solemn melodies coated your bare bones and rendered you silent, a strong juxtaposition to the warmth exuded from the closeness of your skin to his. neither of you did anything to interfere, save for an earlier comment from the man questioning your music taste.
(“then what do you listen to?”
“… radiohead.”
“wow. as if that’s any better than mitski.”)
tsukishima found himself smiling at your pride in your creation. messy, yes. but within each ingredient lay a remnant of him, and that was enough.
a stream of small talk emerged into you sitting on the couch together. the music dimmed down to white noise and an old romcom that had only two star ratings played on your TV, the poor quality adding to the humor. your legs leaned against his beneath the blanket. and there was peace.
tsukishima knew what it was. he knew what this would blossom into, and he could only hope and pray he didn’t mess it up in some way. your quiet yet crude commentary disappeared into the tender air, and he remained silent, as if absorbing each syllable that fell from your lips.
it was so quiet, and so vulnerable, and so delicate that he felt like he was going to explode.
he didn’t question it when your head fell onto his shoulder. he didn’t make fun of you when your colorful reviews on each scene turned into sleepy ramblings. and he didn’t say a word when you dozed off against him, your whole body against his.
instead, he looked around. he took note of the dust collecting on the cabinets, the water marks on the windows, the clothes and food and plastic scattered all over your living room, the dead plant on the shelf, and the half-empty pack of cigarettes sitting on the arm of the couch. it was all a far, far cry from the cleanliness and stability of his own home, and yet, he thought to himself, this is so like them. and he thought, i could live in here, if it were with them. and again, he thought, this could be a home.
tsukishima kei was of the belief that he did not have a type. but as he observed your house and reflected on its singular (?) inhabitant, he figured that this was his type. his type was your quiet laughs and your sharp remarks and your wrinkled clothes and the scent of cigarettes that always seemed to cling to you. his type was you.
he exchanged one last glance to your sleeping figure before getting up and leaving you to rest. not without wrapping up your lunch for tomorrow, and not without a small smile on his lips.
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
hell came to you on a thursday morning — the day following whatever had happened between you and tsukishima. you hadn’t put on your uniform just yet, and your belongings sat outside of your locker.
your boss scrambled into the office, his brows furrowed and his larger hands closing the door as quickly as he could without slamming it. the sweat that collected between his wrinkles shined beneath the dim lights. his breaths were haggard and rushed and shallow.
for the first time in a long time, you felt fear.
“there’s people who want to talk to you outside,” he whispered. “they want to talk to you now.”
there was no one else in the building. no one other than you, your boss, and the people who were so adamant on speaking to you.
so why was it so loud as soon as you stepped out?
the eyes of your mother came into your vision first. then, the stare of your father. and finally, their faces blended into one large picture that made sense.
“what the fuck are you doing here?”
withered hands slammed against the table. you watched the papers and the dinosaur trinkets rattle. “that’s no way to speak to your parents.” you could feel it — the air seeping out of your lungs, depriving you of breath; the trembling in your palms; the cloudiness in your peripherals. you could hear them, but you couldn’t hear them. at some point, their vocabulary was solely financial, and at another point, it grew cruel and violent, akin to wild dogs gnawing away at your skin. you didn’t know where it was going. the hastened footsteps of an unidentifiable coworker neared, and the shaky breaths of your boss behind the door grew louder and louder.
you needed to leave.
your feet led you away before your mind could. the yelling softened, until finally, the only sound was the chirp of birds and the whirring of cars.
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
tsukishima didn’t see you for a week. he didn’t hear any mention of your name, didn’t find your face in a crowd, didn’t feel the vibrations of your voice against his chest. you had disappeared, and no one told him why. it wasn’t until your name didn’t show up on the schedule that something clicked.
it was cruel. you were cruel, he decided.
tadashi sat on the couch while his roommate leaned against the counter. the hum of the air conditioning blinded the blonde’s senses.
“i don’t fucking know what i did,” tsukishima groaned into his palms for the twentieth time that night. “they just left. they quit and i can’t even contact them because i was stupid enough to not ask for their number or email or anything. i don’t- i don’t fucking know, ‘dashi, i don’t.”
“i’m sure they had some good reason,” his friend attempted. “i don’t think they’d do that if it weren’t within some sensible limit. it was fucked, yeah, but… i don’t know. i think they’ll come back when the time is right.”
it was tiring. it was tiring to be left alone not just once, but twice. and it was tiring to have it hurt so much more the second time.
tsukishima ran a hand through his hair. “it’s so stupid.” another groan spilled from his tongue. “i’m so fucking tired of this.”
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
this was just about the fourth job you had applied for.
the museum could no longer be a part of your routine — instead, it morphed into loud nights and bustling men and the clinking of glass; it emerged from quiet and gentle tours around dinosaur exhibits to noisy cheers and yelling and the more-than-occasional bottle thrown at your head; it turned into pure, devastating loneliness.
it was compact. it was suffocating. it was overwhelming. it was everything the museum was not. but you could not return there, no matter how much you ached for it.
you were avoiding him. avoiding everyone.
a gentle nudge from a blurred face reminded you that your shift was over for the night, coupled with an apology for the gash that formed on your head from another drunken man who had no outlet for his anger other than you. with heavy steps, you trudged back home, thankful for the week’s pay and the free food and drinks.
it was quiet.
the lights were off, and the LED numbers on the microwave read way past midnight. a dull pounding resided in your chest.
just the other day, it was so vibrant. you were alive, and so was he, and it was going well. but it was wrong. you realized that much when your parents came to remind you, and you realized it again as you quit the same day.
the thumping in your chest spread to your head, and your back met the wall with a force that was sure to upset your neighbors. carefully, daintily, you slid down, your body reaching the floor gently.
you missed him. but it was wrong.
that night, for the first time in a long while, you cried.
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
tucked away in a small alley in sendai resided an establishment with only three tables and a bar that was worn down from years of use. and behind it, tsukishima found you.
he was only out for a walk. at least, that was what it was until his feet brought him elsewhere and he stood face-to-face with the most suspicious of buildings. and when he saw you, it felt as if all the anger and guilt and distress that riddled his bones and flesh and blood withered away, as if it hadn’t coalesced within his veins over the past month.
before you could hide, his hand snaked around your wrist, his touch light yet desperate. “can we talk?”
talking entailed bringing him back to your apartment. and by extension, it included him witnessing your house somehow being worse than before.
tsukishima found himself sitting on the floor with his back to the couch, and you found yourself sprawled across said couch. he picked at the blisters on his fingers before quietly asking, “why did you do that?”
he could hear your nervous habits — the shifting, the fidgeting, the harsh lip biting. “i don’t know.”
“bullshit,” he muttered under his breath.
you turned over onto your side to face his back. “my parents found me,” you explained meekly. improper guidance leads to destructive tendencies. tsukishima kei, in his high school years, was deemed your only obstacle to complete succession — always a few points ahead, a few questions ahead, a few steps ahead — and your poor influence from youth only fueled such a fire. and so, you felt that it was reasonable to loathe him. your judgement was clouded beyond repair.
tsukishima listened. he listened to every detail, every portion of your retelling of each segment of your childhood, and your teen years, and your silly hatred for him. he listened to you talk about what you did after graduation — how you got into a good university but dropped out and hopped between a multitude of jobs (thus proving your claim at the work party to be a lie), and how you were constantly escaping from both the stress and your parents.
he listened so intently that it was overbearing. you didn’t tell him that. instead, you talked and talked and talked until you sculpted him into someone who knew your entire life, as if he were there from the beginning.
“i’m sorry,” you whispered through stubborn tears. you hated it — how exposing it was, how you had practically dumped everything onto him in one go, how you couldn’t help but beg for forgiveness in the end. most of all, you hated how easily he gave you his forgiveness.
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
tsukishima didn’t leave your house at all that week. you found no energy to complain.
in the morning, you’d find him cleaning whatever disaster you left behind, whether it was the pile of laundry on your bed or the collection of full trash bags next to the front door or the food (or rather, the lack thereof) in your fridge. he was silent all the while, and that hurt more than any berating he could have done.
“why are you still here?” you asked him one night. you had finally moved from the couch to the bed, and tsukishima couldn’t be any prouder. (any movement at all was enough to be proud of, he felt). “you shouldn’t want to be here.”
you watched him heave a heavy breath as his shoulders drooped. “because i want you,” he admitted, his voice unmistakably tender and soft and ridden with a youthfulness that he unearthed from deep within himself. “i want to be with you and i want you to be happy and i just want us to be happy together, for once.”
he spoke of his affections so fluently, as if he were born to share them with you. and still, every bone in your body was whispering otherwise.
even so, tsukishima promised that he would be willing to wait. even if it meant watching you down an unreasonable amount of beer at an unreasonable hour.
he promised to sit through it all with you, even if it meant listening to you call his name out in long, drawn-out tones. even if it meant hearing you confess your long-harbored affection for him. even if it meant hearing you say that you never told him, not even in high school, because you felt like you didn’t deserve to tell him.
tsukishima didn’t understand.
he failed to comprehend how you didn’t feel deserving, when his whole body, mind, and soul was bound to you; when, in the depths of the night, he’d burn pink in the night at the mere thought of you; when he was so uncharacteristically smitten for you. he didn’t get it. he didn’t think he ever would.
not that he said anything about it — at least, not in that moment. not when you were inexplicably drunk, to the point where you couldn’t move a limb without tumbling over.
but, without a doubt, he went to bed with a stupid grin and a berry-kissed face.
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
it took another couple of weeks before tsukishima would see you at work again. you entered through the doors as if you never left, and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be excited or neutral or anything else, because his guts only knew tenderness with you at that point — all the fake ignorance and stubbornness and denial had been cast aside.
you basked in a shared silence in the locker room, until you finally admitted that you were, in fact, healing. to some degree, at least. you asked him to come over again under the pretense of seeing how clean your house was. you detailed every segment of your life, from when he last saw you to your entrance into the museum, including how you made yourself breakfast for the first time in forever and how you drank a cup of water almost every day. and he was so overwhelmingly proud, so much so that it spilled over and he couldn’t contain himself.
“i love you,” he blurted out, his rushed admission cutting off your rambling. you whipped your head towards him, but he was looking everywhere except for you.
“what?” you exclaimed.
“i said i love you. i’m in love with you. what don’t you get?”
your jaw hung open, just like that of a fish. “wait- what the fuck?” much to his amusement, you jumped up and began pacing around the room. “i like- well, i guess, love,” you paused, the vocabulary uncomfortable on your teeth. “you too, but like- what the fuck? who told you that?”
“you did.”
“what?”
tsukishima kei was laughing. he was laughing at you, and yet, you weren’t as angry as you expected to be. he was laughing, and all you could do was relish in the noise.
“so,” he hummed delightfully, an amused smirk on his lips. “am i still coming over?”
you (begrudgingly) agreed. again, he laughed — this time, at the heat rising to your face.
𝜗𝜚 。 ˚.
through the cracks between your blinds, silk strands of sunlight crawled through, a soft reminder of the morning. beside you, a mountain of warmth lay, with his glasses still on his face and his hoodie misshapen on his body.
tsukishima was always the first to rise. he would wait for your eyes to flit open gently before getting up and making breakfast, despite your protests that your food was probably better than his. he never listened.
the splatter of coffee into your cup served as the only noise in the room, save for the dull noise of the morning news on the TV and the cars passing by outside the window. you watched intently as the blonde set up the table, his lip drawn in a tight line but his eyes shimmering with contentment. “eat up,” he spoke quietly as he took a seat in front of you.
tsukishima kei was, by no means, a cruel person. he was just a little rough on the edges and occasionally didn’t quite know how to say things without being mean. but as he sat with you, eating breakfast made by him in your shared apartment; as he pressed a fleeting kiss to your forehead before leaving to change, ignoring your groans about the remnants of syrup on his lips; as he drove you to work as the sun settled in the sky; you realized he was simply a man in love.
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hopleii · 4 months
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since you admitted it,
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content: tsukishima x fem!reader angst, breakup, cheating, fighting, trashy writing, not proofread, kinda ooc, swearing lmk if i missed some!
a/n: inspired by Babe - Taylor Swift!! I keep forgetting i have responsibilities on this account lolzies, anyways, I think this is my first time writing angst? also, i'm working on some requests rn so sorry for the delayyy :(
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you and tsukishima have been arguing for what seemed like hours now. yelling at each other back and forth, throat hurting from all the screams and explaining.
"for God's sake, I didn't do shit with her! how many times do I have to say that!?" tsukishima screams. there's this girl that's been making you uncomfortable, she was beautiful. her face so pretty almost as if it was carefully crafted by god himself, her voice so sweet and smooth like honey. you felt insecure.
tsukishima had been getting close with her, which wasn't a problem at first. so what if he was friends with her, right? wrong. eventually, tsukishima had been getting way too close, cancelling plans "because she needs help studying" or "she's not feeling well, I need to be there for her"
you were getting sick. though, you held your tongue. you stayed silent and let it slide, maybe they're just good friends, that's all. is what you kept repeating to yourself.
"why are you so mad that I'm hanging out with her, geez! you have guy friends and you hangout with them all the time, why are you suddenly mad at me and her just because you're insecure? you're always like this when we hangout!" he screams again. this was the first time you ever brought it up, what could he possibly mean by 'always'?
"stop dragging useless shit into this, tsukishima! you're not stupid so stop acting like it! you know that those gestures are more than friendly!" you scream back, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I have NEVER brought this up until now, why are you so defensive, kei?! why are you hiding things from me?"
"I'm not fucking hiding anything, okay!? what do you want me to do? she's my friend! I can't just stop talking to her even if I wanted to!"
bullshit.
"really? you can't?" you say through choked sobs "are you fucking kidding me, kei? you can't? you can't stop holding her waist? you can't stop cancelling plans just to go to her house? you can't stop kissing her when you think i'm not looking? are you kidding me?"
you were shaking with anger, you couldn't find the right words at that moment, you wanted to scream and cry and shout at him but you just couldn't.
"what the hell are you talking about? I can never do anything like that, especially not with her--"
"well now you can because we're over! I can't do this anymore, kei!"
silence fills the room for a few minutes, you clench your fists so hard you were shaking. but what really bothered you the most was the slightly relieved expression on tsukishima's face.
only punctuated by your ragged breaths and the remnants of your tears staining your cheeks. tsukishima's eyes widened, the relief he initially wore began to fade into a mix of shock and regret.
tsukishima's voice, no longer fueled by anger, now shaken with uncertainty. "wait, just, let's not make reckless decisions here. I didn't mean for it to come to this!"
your heart ached as you gazed into his eyes. at that moment, you questioned if you had done the right thing. but you knew that the doubt, insecurity, and pain that had been bottling up in you had pushed you.
trembling with a mixture of anger and hurt, you finally had the strength to confront him. "Kei, you need to tell me the truth. did you do more than just kiss her?" the words hung heavily in the air, and a knot formed in the pit of your stomach.
tsukishima's shoulders slumped even further, and he let out a long, heavy sigh. with a voice that was almost a whisper, he admitted, "yes, I did, but--"
you let out a quivering gasp, covering your mouth with your hands. utterly disgusted with what he just admitted. betrayal surged through your veins, overshadowing the pain that had been lingering. the air became suffocating, and you struggled to comprehend the reality of his admission.
"i'm leaving," your voice shaking as you fought tears that threatened to overflow again "i should've known..."
tsukishima's gaze dropped to the floor, unable to meet your eyes. "i... i didn't want to hurt you. i was going to tell you eventually...i just couldn't find the right time i--"
a bitter laugh escaped your lips, "you thought hiding the truth would spare my feelings? how could you?"
tsukishima started to get angry again, his ego and pride unable to handle the truth in your words. "fucking hell," he mumbles "i messed up, okay? i never meant for it to get this far. it just...happened."
your anger flared again, and you took a step back, distancing yourself from him. "no, tsukishima, it didn't just happen. you made choices, and you chose to betray me!"
as you turned to leave, his voice trailed after you, desperate and regretful. "i'm sorry, i really am."
but the apology fell on deaf ears. the door closed behind you, leaving tsukishima alone in the haunting silence of the room.
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romeavecryst · 9 days
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Fragments of Love ˖ ࣪⊹
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K. TUSKISHIMA x Fem!reader ˖ ࣪⊹
Sum: Loving Tsukishima wasn’t easy, and eventually the fraction of love he gave her wasn’t enough to make up for his words anymore.
Warnings: Angst, toxic relationships, cursing, not proceed ofc!!
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.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.
It was to perfect, wasn’t it? Sure she knew what she had gotten herself into when she began dating him knowing it wasn’t easy. But every couple has downs right? But one fight turned into one every week, and one every week turned into almost every day. They’d go days without having a meaningful conversation or even checking up on one another. The smile she once greeted him with slowly disappearing every time he saw her, she looked exhausted.
She was, she was tired of begging for his attention his love. The fucking bare minimum, why couldn’t he give it to her? Because he simply didn’t want to? ‘
‘Just leave him.’
She couldn’t, she stayed because even after the cruel words he said to her even after he got in her face even after everything. She came back to him every single time. Because he apologized.
He’d apologize, holding her close to him and tell her that he was sorry and he loved her. He’d show her so much love, because deep down he knew he was wrong for what he’s done.
That she never. Ever. Deserved the things he said yet he said them to her. He’d break her heart over and over again and she stayed. And everyone remind him that, simply tell him that he didn’t deserve her. That he took her generosity for granted, and that someday she won’t be as forgiving, that she won’t run back into his arms.
Their voices echoed outside the gym, they had been arguing all day and it finally erupted. Him complaining that she’s taking up his practice time, that he has better things to do then sit her and argue with “ a fucking-!”
“A fucking what?! A fucking what Kei!”
“A stupid fucking bitch!”
“Fuck you! You don’t care about anyone but your fucking self!”
He scoffed going back and forth with her, his face close with her as there screaming match became more heated. The sound of the gym doors opening being drowned out as they yelled. “You put your hands on her I’ll put you down my self.”
Tsukishima turned around quickly the feeling of his captains hand grabbing his arm, “like I’d fucking touch her.” He said.
Daichi glanced at his fist then to him “but you thought about it.” His voice stern. Tsukishima scoffed pulling away from Daichi walking to the gym, not sparing her a glance. As sick as it was she wouldn’t be surprised if he ever laid his hands on her, he’s punched walls and thrown things at her.
Daichis eyes met hers, her makeup running her eyes bloodshot. “Think it’s best you head home for the night.”
So she did.
And when it was time for his cycle to repeat, she stood there her eyes lifeless as she looked at him. Moving her head when he tried touching her face. Her anger was still fresh. Give her time. Give her time to come back like she dose.
Time was given and she didn’t run back into his arms, she didn’t accept his apologies. Days had passed and he was going crazy, the messages he sent being left on read over and over. Her never responding to them even when he would curse as her and tell her stop being dramatic in the voicemails he sent. He couldn’t stand how she avoided him in the halls like he was nothing. He was weak.
He’d never admit it would he that he was weak without her. It made him sick how dependent he was for her. Once two weeks had pass he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Please.” A broken sob came from his throat.
“Go home Kei.” She spoke turning around to face him more.
Tsukishima was on his knees his head touching the pavement as he bowed apologetically, “I’m begging you please.” He cried.
He had finally looked up to her hoping there was something, even a simple frown in her brows. But nothing, she faced him emotionless. Just like last time. He’d sucked the last bit of life out of her, that when he finally decided to care it was too late. He wanted her to laugh in his face right now tell him how pathetic he was; crying at her feet like this. Yet she just stood there her hands tucked away in her sleeves her arms crossed.
“You used to make me feel good about myself, but now you make me feel like shit.” She spoke softly.
“Like I’m not good enough, or interesting enough-“
“I don’t think that..” he started.
“No shut up. Because that’s bullshit Tsukishima! You’ve told me yourself,” she scoffed. “Telling me I’m not good enough, that I’m lame, that I’m annoying that I’m unlovable.” She said her voice cracking.
His heart broke because she was right. He never had anything good to say, he’d done nothing but degrade her for months. That he was the cause of all of this because he couldn’t show her his love.
“I hate that it’s taken me till now to open my eyes,” no, no,no.
“Because I am enough. I am interesting, I am worthy of fucking love!” She spoke her voice stern.
She was worthy of love, yet he never showed that to her. He wasn’t worthy of hers, he didn’t deserve the chance she gave him. And she was going to leave him, this was what he was so afraid of. Trusting letting someone in. But how could he feel that what when the person he treated so horribly let him in so easily over and over again, he treated her like a fucking chore. Not his girlfriend.
“We’re done Kei. Over. I’m transferring, because I can’t be around you. I’m blocking and removing you on socials, don’t fucking reach out to me. Because with me leaving I don’t know what you’ll do. Maybe you’ll get a new girlfriend and treat her like a fucking human being.”
No, no he didn’t want a new girlfriend. He wanted her, she was leaving him. Leaving him for good. Moving schools so she doesn’t have to she his fucking face anymore. Blocking him so she doesn’t receive messages of him threatening and bullying her then begging for forgiveness. Over and over.
Broken sobs came from him as he stood up walking towards her, pleading her not to go. Just to give him a chance he’ll make it right this time. He promises. He promised to love her. To cherish her. That nobody could love him like she did because she was lovable. Because he was so fucking in love with her.
His head pressed against her front door as he begged her to open it, that he’ll make it right. A loud thud of his fist hitting the door as he cried. “Go home Tsukishima or I’m calling your brother to pick you up.” She spoke her back to the door.
“Don’t do this.. please.”
His brother had eventually picked him up with Yamaguchi and his father. When he got home he stood in his room phone in hand a message typed out to her. The message was green when he sent it.
“FUCK!” He yelled throwing his phone. Anger, was all he felt Anger and sadness. As he thrashed his room tears streaming down his face. He fucking hated her how could she do this to him. How could she leave him. That she made him feel so loved and she just left him. God how pathetic, she was a fucking loser, leave him? How could she leave him in so much pain?
“You’re actually joking me right…”
Tsukishimas eyes met his best friends. “What..”
“You’re blaming her.. how dare she leave?”Tadashi scoffed. Tsukishimas eyes left his looking over the others that sat with him during break Kageyama and Hinata.
The team stayed out of his business of corse but tsukishima brought this on himself rambling about her, because he was obsessed. Because he couldn’t admit he was in the wrong. That he was wrong, but how dare she leave right? Because it’s all on her.
“You ruined her.” The voice of the team’s manager spoke up.
Everyone looked at her, before Tsukishima could open his mouth she turned towards him “You ruined her, she let you hurt her over and over again. And she stayed. But when she’s finally fed up with your bullshit. When she became self aware of her self worth it’s selfish? Shame on her for wanting to be loved right? Shame on her for knowing she is so much more than you ever deserved.” She scoffed.
Kiyoko looked Tsukishima in the eyes “Thanks to you, she won’t ever be able to let anyone in as easily again, she won’t be able to feel loved because you tore her apart, you didn’t love her.”
“I did, I do love her. Fuck you, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He spoke standing up.
Kiyoko rolled her eyes. “You don’t, you never fucking loved her because if you did she still be here. If you loved her you would have showed her.”
“But you’re a fucking insecure loser.” She finished her tone filled with venom.
Tsukishima was speechless. Kiyoko was right, that if he loved her she would still be there. With him smiling, holding his hand. But she wasn’t.
He ruined her, ruined her sanity and self respect for herself. Shame on her for having an enough to leave him so she could fix herself. Because all of a sudden once she left once he knew he lost her he started caring. She wouldn’t let anyone love her in the way she deserved because of him, because of him she’ll create a barrier never to let anyone in again.
Because he only gave her a fragment of his love.
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 it’s very much ranting apologies.. listened to ceilings on repeat while writing this!!
191 notes · View notes
hyeque · 2 years
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messenger [tsukishima kei]
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synopsis: you and yamaguchi are best friends with tsukishima. nearly everyday girls come up to the two of you to ask about the blonde and you both have had just enough. little do you know that yamaguchi has a plan of his own to get the chatting to stop...
notes: based off the sole fact that it's canon that girls only go up to yamaguchi to ask him about tsukki, which obviously means he's popular with girls. this was originally written as a stand-alone but i decided to submit it for lexi's @suckerforsugawara first time for everything collab! i apologize for how late this is, writer’s block got the best of me.
warnings: reader is very much in their head, angst at first but eventual fluff with good ending
word count: 4kei
for as smart as tsukishima kei is, he sure is oblivious to how girls flirt with him.
everyday a good number of girls around campus whisper and talk about how they find the blonde middle blocker attractive. about how much a good boyfriend he would make. it amazes you to no end how much the tall and silent type attract people. you could probably end up rich with how much you hear about him, because there's seriously not one day where you don't hear his name.
at first, most of the comments make you laugh. over time though, you begin to roll your eyes and scoff. you don't understand why so many people like him. half the time you see how tsukishima interacts with hinata and kageyama and it isn't in the nicest or most pleasant way. it just looks like a complete circus act. you truly feel sorry for daichi and suga.
tsukishima is just...mean. if you had a boyfriend who treated you like that, you'd dump him on the spot.
but maybe you are a hypocrite because while you think of all these things, you're still friends with him.
...if you can even call it that—you're sure tsukishima just 'tolerates' you. but the fact that you and yamaguchi are the two he spends the most time with obviously means something. he also begrudgingly helps you with your homework and walks you home from class all the time.
it means something...right?
today is no different from many other days as you watch hinata and kageyama get into a heated screaming match about god knows what. tsukishima is on the side snickering to yamaguchi. everyone else is helplessly by standing.
but you, on the other hand, are in your own little world. you're one of the managers for karasuno university's volleyball team. currently, you're filling up water bottles for the team. being in the role as manager, you've become a master at zoning out hinata and kageyama's bickering.
but you did not expect that this skill would one day work against you.
"hinata, kageyama! watch out!" ennoshita shouts, but it's already too late. you feel the unruly force of a volleyball hit you, making you drop the bottles you're filling up and spill water on the ground.
"are you okay?" yamaguchi rushes to help you to your feet, shooting the offending people a small glare. kageyama and hinata shiver at tadashi's gaze and begin to profusely apologize.
"i'm okay, yams. thank you." you dust off your clothes and laugh, "it's nothing i can't help when those two get carried away."
"we are so sorry!" hinata cries, nearly tripping over himself to get to you. kageyama sheepishly let's out a 'sorry' before his face flushes a bright red.
you open your mouth to assure them you're fine, but a certain voice beats you to it.
"are you two that incompetent that you'll take out our manager in the middle of one of your childish games?" the voice hisses. "i knew the two of you were stupid, but you both surprise me every day. i have to start lowering my bar more."
you don't have to turn to know who it is.
tsukishima turns to you, a displeased look on his face. if you squint, you can see his concern. "and you really need to work on watching your surroundings. i'd rather not have to take you to the hospital." he scolds, picking up the bottles from the ground. he swats your hand away when you reach out for them and you puff out your cheeks, frustrated.
he always does this, where you can't tell if he cares for you, or if he's just being mean. maybe you’re reading into things too closely.
you watch his eyes scan your figure intently and you flinch when you feel him touch you. your breath hitches at how close he is, close enough to see the specks of gold in his eyes from behind the lenses of his sports googles.
his hand gently turns your face to either side, "are you hurt anywhere?"
at the feeling of his hand on your arm, you feel it burn at the source of his touch.  you quickly recover and answer that you're fine. he studies your face for a moment longer to detect if you're lying but doesn't prod for any more answers.
not too far away does yamaguchi note the gesture between you two, but doesn't say anything.
the rest of practice runs by smoothly and you have practically forgotten that you were hit with a volleyball. before you know it, it's over and everyone calls it a day before filing out to the lock room.
tsukishima announces that he has to go somewhere after practice and for you and yamaguchi to not wait up for him. neither of you question him on his whereabouts because chances are he won't even tell you anyways.
as punishment for hitting you with the volleyball, kageyama and hinata are responsible for cleaning up the gym and locking up, which gives you the advantage of getting home early. down to two, you and yamaguchi start your trek home, the convo floating between school, volleyball, and other interests.
"yamaguchi-san?"
the two of you turn at the sound of a girl. she looks anxious and nervous and holds a pink envelope in her hands.
"hi! what can i do for you?" he smiles, green eyes bright and inviting.
the girl seems to gain confidence at yamaguchi's smile. "i have this confession for tsukishima-kun...but i don't know how to give it to him, so i was wondering if you would give it to him for me?" the girl explains shyly. her eyes shift to you and widen. "you're not dating tsukishima-san are you?"
your eyes widen at the accusation and you bust out a laugh, hard. maybe too hard.
"me? date him? i could never!"
after your embarrassing and short-lived laughing party, yamaguchi reluctantly agrees to take the letter to give to tsukishima. a strange feeling wells up in your chest at the sight, and you don't know why you felt disappointed in him doing so.
as soon as the girl leaves, you see yamaguchi's shoulders sag and his smile fades. 
"what's wrong, yams?" you nudge your best friend in the side, noting the way he picks at the skin on his hand anxiously.
"nothing," he answers, "we need to get going now."
you pull him back. "it's not 'nothing'. come on, what is it?"
you watch as he takes a moment to gather his thoughts before he replies, "i appreciate and care about tsukki and all, but it really sucks that girls only talk to me about him." he pouts, puffing out his cheeks.
"it's probably because you're much more approachable than mr. blonde beanpole." you suggest, shrugging your shoulders. "frankly, I don't know why or what people see in him. he's not very people-friendly. plus he always walks around with a scowl on his face. but i too wish they would stop asking us about him. what did suckyshima do to get so many confessions all the time..."
your freckled faced friend raises his brows, amused by your passionate rambling. "are you jealous?" he asks, head tilting in inquiry.
"w-what? no! why would i be?" you scoff, feeling your heart race in your chest. "the only thing i'm jealous of is that beanpole blonde's attention." you say. "i would very much like to be confessed to as often as he gets!"
"you would hate it," yamaguchi chuckles, "you don't even like getting attention. especially from guys."
you click your tongue, not knowing how to disagree with him. "maybe, but it wouldn't hurt to have it happen once in a while, you know?" you sigh, "i can't go my entire life without experiencing a confession!"
you must've had a terrible past life to have such an unlucky dating experience. you've never had a guy ask you out. and while you don't like to be arrogant you consider yourself cute and a decent person—more so decent than glasses-kun.
"well, more guys would approach you if it wasn't for tsukki." yamaguchi says, and immediately upon speaking covers his mouth.
you raise a brow at your friend, "eh? what do you mean by that?"
before he can answer, you huff, "you're telling me blondie is messing up my love life? what does he gain from doing that?" you huff, feeling irritated that the number of cute boys you could've encountered is very little due to the fact that they were being cockblocked by the most annoying person on the planet.
yamaguchi would never tell you, and god bless your soul, but he's forever thankful for how oblivious you are at times. his skin is saved from having to explain to tsukishima why his crush on you has been outed.
but on the other hand, he desperately wants these confession shenanigans to be over with and for the two of you to confess to each other. to him, it's painfully obvious that there are shared feelings but neither one of you want to acknowledge the fact that there's something going on. he'd rather take the risk of tsukishima biting his head off if it means you two will end up together.
"let's just say that the two of you complain about each other too much for there not to be something going on between you two." yamaguchi says. "i just wish you'd both make out with each other or something."
panic swarms you, at the meer thought of locking lips with blondie. "tadashi, i would never be caught kissing him. i'd rather be dead." you say sternly, although an itch in your throat tells you otherwise.
"yeah, i totally got the vibe of that earlier when he came over to see if you were okay." he laughs, rolling his eyes.
"it didn't mean anything, he was just oddly nice..." you argue, the rapid beating of your heart mocking you.
the sudden silence could be cut through with a knife as you two walk. your knuckles grip your bag tightly as you focus on your feet in front of you.
"your crush never went away, right?" yamaguchi stops walking and looks at you intently.
when you don't respond, he knows his answer.
"that's another reason why i don't like getting these confessions. i don't want to see you get hurt by all of this." he reveals, his hand gripping the pink envelope he was given earlier.
"it doesn't matter, though. what i feel is irrelevant.” you shrug.
yamaguchi perks up, a light bulb going off. he presses the envelope to your hands. "you give this to him. you can find out what he says about the letter and how it makes him feel. he might act differently. that way, you can also decide if those feelings for him are still there, or if you've moved on. if you haven’t, then confess."
you turn away, not taking the envelope. your feet then move briskly. "what makes you think that he would accept my confession? there's no way he would."
"what's stopping you?" he presses, following you. "you don't know that unless you try."
a sharp exhale of air escapes you, your nerves taking your own words out of your mouth. "because i don't want to make a relationship awkward possibly. besides, he'll just make fun of me for having a crush on him and then reject me. so no way is tsukki going to accept it."
"he wouldn't do that. and you know he wouldn't. look, we both know tsukki better than anyone else does. i'm surprised at how blind you are to how he feels about you. or maybe you're denying it?"
before you can reply, you realize you've reached your apartment.
"just think about telling him? it'll ease your mind somehow, won't it? at least you'll have your answer and you can stop letting this eat at you the way it has for years." yamaguchi says, concern written on his face.
you sigh. "sure, tadashi. i'll think about it."
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you don't get a wink of sleep that night. and despite you wanting more time to think, you are meeting up with tsukishima and yamaguchi to hangout the next day. so even if you want to put off your thoughts about the situation, you can't.
"you look like shit," tsukishima says once you sit down at the cafe the three of you always meet up at. "like a zombie with the life is sucked out of them.”
“wow, how did you guess?” you say, response dripping with sarcasm.
a guilty look appears on his face before he changes it to a softer expression. "here, i already ordered for you." he says, pushing your favorite order across the counter.
"oh, thank you. you didn't have to." you reach into your bag to pay him back, but he pushes your hand away, a grimace on his face.
"yeah, well i did anyways." he says, turning away. a faint hue of pink can be seen across his cheeks. “you should really try not to over exert yourself. we can’t afford to have our manager collapsing.”
you stare at the drink, mind rambling. “right…”
tsukishima distracts himself with the time, noticing how late yamaguchi is. it isn’t like him to be late. once the male checks his phone, everything clicks into place.
"tadashi says he won't be able to make it to the movies." tsukishima tells you, slipping his phone back in his pocket.
"really?" you go to pull your own phone out of your bag to check, but something else catches your eyes first.
the pink envelope.
you gasp, gritting your teeth. "tadashi, you bastard..." you hiss, wondering when he slipped it into your bag.
"yeah, something about feeling sick..." the tall man's eyes slide down to look at you, and as attentive as he is he asks, "what are you grumbling about?"
you eyes glance between him and the letter, panic washes over you as you try to improvise a lie.
tsukishima leans over, peering into your bag. “what is that?” he asks.
solemnly, you hand him the pink envelope. cotton has lodged itself in your throat but you manage. "this...this is for you."
“from?” he questions, but he already knows it’s not you. you don’t dot your i’s like that.
“the usual. some girl with a crush on you.” you answer, “she didn’t know how to give it you directly.”
opening the letter, his brown eyes scan the contents carefully, silence overcoming him as he drinks in each word.
meanwhile, your heart races rapidly. you can feel yourself beginning to spiral in your mind, thinking of all the possibilities of what could happen next after he finishes reading the letter. instead of hearing anything, the blonde simply puts the letter back in the envelope.
“let’s go.” he says, standing up to leave.
wait...that's it? you watch him leave the cafe and scramble after him, confusion trailing you.
when you catch up to tsukishima, your eyes glance at him, trying to gauge anything. something.
"well?" you ask, brow arching up.
"'well' what?" he replies, staring at you expressionless.
"are you...going to accept?" you prod, leg bouncing.
the man seems to contemplate your question, not answering for a moment. the anticipation is killing you. swallowing you whole. you have to say something before you’re buried alive.
"don't accept that confession." you blurt.
"huh?" the blonde slips the envelope in his pocket. "and why not?"
you shift uncomfortably in your spot. "b-because."
"'b-because', isn't an answer. i hope you're aware." he mocks before stepping closing to you, a sly smirk on his face. "why do you look like you're about to throw up? is the thought of me getting a confession that repulsive to you?"
"shut up!" you hiss, the burning in your cheeks spreading like wildfire now. "i never said that."
"you didn't have to. your face said everything that i needed to know." he replies, "why are you so eager to know anyways?"
you shrug, "i mean, we're friends right? why wouldn't i be curious?"
a soft chuckle leaves him. it's pretty, and pretty looks very good on him. how annoying for your nerves. "right, and let's say i do accept the confession. what would you do then?"
you blink, your hands clammy, body scorching at this point. "dunno, maybe throw a party with a sign that says 'congrats kei, you're lovable after all'."
"you're a horrible liar, you know. it's very annoying." tsukishima scowls, grabbing your wrist and turning you to look at him.
"who said i was going to accept the confession?" he tilts his head to the side, leaning in slightly. "hmm? i think you put that idea in that pretty head of yours all by yourself."
you huff, irritated by his teasing manner."it's not funny to joke like that."
he blinks. "when did i make a joke?"
"you always do...i don't understand you, tsukishima." at this point you can feel your face burning up. you look away from the blonde, frustrated and also internally panicking. when you go to walk away, his large hand catches your wrist, pulling you back.
"so now we're back to tsukishima?" he asks, distaste in his tone.
you bite your lip, too scared to say anything.
he clicks his tongue. "listen, i didn't have to read the letter to know my answer. i didn't even need to receive one. i've already had my mind made up."
a soft 'oh' leaves your mouth. "is that right?"
"yes, because i already have feelings for someone." he confesses, and your heart nearly stops.
you weren't expecting this at all. you bargained for more than you wanted, but it’s your fault and your fault alone. you start to yell in your head about how wrong yamaguchi is, about how you're too late to confess now, because someone else has already stolen—
"this is for you." tsukishima hands a eerily similar pink envelope to you with a small plushie. your eyes widen as you look at the plush, recognizing that it's your favorite animal. you remember talking about how you still sleep with stuffed animals and made the mistake of having tsukishima overhear you. the teasing that day never ended.
when squeezing the plush to you, you're surprised to hear it play your favorite song. reading the letter, you recognize the handwriting as his immediately. you're familiar with how he loops his y's and g's. you recognize the eloquence in his words. but you feel alien reading how he pours his emotions—about you—into words. words that are a lot kinder and sweeter than his usual moments.
"why would i joke about my feelings?" he answers, pulling at his hands, fingers fidgeting. "if you don't reciprocate them—"
"no! i-i mean, yes! yes, i do!" your face is on fire at this point. "i'm just shocked, i-i wasn't expecting—"
"for someone to be into someone like you?" he finishes.
you blink, stunned by his response. "well, yeah."
and tsukishima kei does what tsukishima kei does best.
he flicks your forehead.
he rubs the spot where he flicked your forehead and his gaze becomes soft as he stares at you, his large hands not pulling back from how it gently cradles your face.
"i've been into your annoying ass since you yelled at those bullies for picking on tadashi." he mumbles, a fond look in his eyes.
your eyes look over him rapidly. "i don't get it. how? why?"
he pinches your cheek, rolling his eyes. "you keep saying that and it's really annoying." he continues, "it's simple. you're...you're a much better person than i am. you're smart...and funny. and you understand me even when my words don't always say what i mean. you've pushed me to be a better person." he tries to make himself smaller, wanting to escape his vulnerability, but it's hard when you're a walking lamppost.
"i can't stand the sight of other guys looking at you. at thinking they have a chance with you. call me a hypocrite because i know i'm the last person who deserves a chance with you, but—" he cuts himself off, fiddling his his hands.
"but what, kei?" you push, heart pounding.
"but i want one anyways. i've never felt like this with anyone before and i don't want to stop now. i...i'm willing to take the chance to ask to go out with you...even if i know you deserve better than me." he explains, head bowing low.
this time, you reach up and flick his forehead.
"ow? what the hell, dumbass?" he scowls.
"it's annoying when you do that, too," you say, teasing, "you always undermine how brilliant you are and it has to stop. you may be an asshole, but you're also perceptive, and caring, even if you don't really know how to show it in conventional ways."
he doesn't say anything because he knows you're right.
you speak again. "for the record, i think that you're pretty amazing. and a lot of other people think so too. learn to give yourself more credit, kei."
"i can say the same about you." he says, brushing hair back from your face. his eyes shift down to your lips before looking away just as quickly. his single strand of vulnerability left snaps.
"c-can i kiss you?" he stutters, and you're shocked to see the snarky blonde asshole you know in such a shy state.
"yes," you breathe, "please."
he can’t resist when you ask so nicely and look so pretty right in front of him.
and what you learn is that kei's kisses are sweeter than any words that can come out of his smart mouth. how that is possible, you don't know. but you surely don't mind at all.
he tugs you close to his body, his scent overtaking your senses. he smells like mint and whatever cologne he put on today and it's easily your new favorite aroma.
you pull away and can't help but note how pretty kei looks after kissing. hair disheveled, swollen lips, glossy eyes, and glasses nearly falling off his face. you quietly laugh and push the frames back up his face.
"i love you, you know." you say, holding his face.
he leans into you, kissing your palm as he reciprocates the words in a quiet voice. a quirk in his lips and he adds, "i would hope you do. i don't want to be seen having to return to build-a-bear for a second time to return a bear."
you grin, holding up the bear teasingly. "this plush?"
"oni-chan said i should give you something...that you'd appreciate. it's yours as long as you don't replace me with it." he answers, red creeping up his neck. "if you do, i'll return it."
"don't worry, kei. i promise not to replace you with a stuffed animal when i need cuddles." you latch onto his arm, clinging to him easily. he tugs you impossibly closer.
sending yamaguchi a text thank you and a picture of you with your new bear—now named tadashi—with an annoyed tsukishima holding you tight in the photo. 'new family photo! you were right!'.
yamaguchi only grins at the message, laying back on his bed as he smiles. his work as cupid is over. he'd figure out the third wheeling issue later.
for now, mission accomplished.
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do not copy and or repost. likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated though! (c) 2022 hyeque
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godkeis · 2 years
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𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓.
characters: t. kei, k. tobio & k. shinsuke
genre: hurt/comfort
word count: around 1k
content warnings: arguments, blaming, cursing, mentions of insecurity
summary: how would haikyuu boys react when you walk out during an argument part one.
part ii. | part iii.
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TSUKISHIMA KEI
Arguments with Kei usually arise whenever he starts crossing the line with his snarky and sarcastic remarks. There are times when he doesn’t know to limit himself when he blurts out things as if they are some kind of joke most of the time. When you started opening up to him regarding your recent insecurity and he slammed you with a sarcastic response, you felt awfully shit. It took you a muster of courage to bring it up to Kei yet, he didn’t see it as something serious.
“Seriously Kei? You know how hard it is for me to open up with how I feel and yet, you made me feel like shit.”
“What Y/N? I was just joking, don’t be so pressed about it.” You felt your blood boiling with how he perceived your point of view.
“Pressed? Are you fucking kidding me Tsukishima?” You never call him with his last name except for today because you had enough of him.
“If you’re going to continue treating me like this then I have no choice but to leave.”
You spat and pulled your heavy heart up to walk out of Kei’s apartment. Kei felt a shiver down his spine as he watched your figure slowly moving away from him. For the first time in his whole life, he felt a massive fear strike down his insides, fingers curling into his palms. When you shut the door of his apartment quietly, Kei swore he saw his whole life flashback in his eyes.
“I..fuck. I fucked up so much.”
Letting out a heavy breath, Kei stood up and hurriedly followed you before you could even slip away from his life. When he opened the door, he saw your figure walking away not so far from his door. With all his speed, he ran towards you and softly grabbed your arm just above your elbow so that he could see your face. But when he saw that you were crying messily, his heart ached and broke down. The fact that you were crying because of him broke him so much inside.
“I’m…so sorry, Y/N. I crossed the line.” He said softly, keeping the eye contact.
The following hours were spent with him holding you in his chest as you cry your heart out. Kei will listen to your sobs as he caresses your back. Once you calmed down, he will start apologizing sincerely more and will make no excuse for what he has done to you.
Days after that, Kei was extra sweet and will often check you out, especially with your mental and emotional stability. He never wanted to see you turning your back from him as you walk away because he’ll never be able to forgive himself if you leave him, especially when he’s the reason why.
KAGEYAMA TOBIO
Tobio thinks of nothing but volleyball. If he will be asked to pick anything versus volleyball, he'll definitely pick the latter. You don’t have an issue with this because, in the first place, you know what you are going into when you committed with Tobio.
However, when Tobio starts to get injured frequently, you began worrying like mad crazy. Tobio has the habit of over practising himself that’s why you were trying to convince him to take a break and only practice during his official practice hours.
“Are you trying to change my mind about playing volleyball? Because it’s not going to happen, Y/N.”
However, he thought of it the other way around.
“What? I am not trying to change your mind, Tobio. My side is that you have to rest too. You cannot overwork yourself and come home limping every single day because it hurts me and it hurts you too!”
“You know what? If you’re not going to support me with volleyball then leave. I don’t need someone who cannot understand how important my career is.”
Your heart shattered into pieces when he flipped the whole goddamn conversation into something else. You felt your insides being twisted with your significant other asking you to leave.
“Tobio, I have been supporting you since day one and you know I will always support you. However, if it's going to lead you to self-destruction then you’ll lose a supporter.” 
With teary eyes, you pulled yourself up and walked out straight of his apartment. In a matter of seconds, Tobio realized that you left for real. As he watched you walk away from him, Tobio knows that he’s about to lose you for real.
“Shit shit, no! Y/N!”
He yelled but you chose not to look back because if you do, you know you’ll fall for him again. But Tobio is a fast runner and caught up with you immediately.
“Please…No. I don’t want to lose you, Y/N. I..am sorry, love.” Tobio breathed out, hands resting on your shoulder for support because his foot hurt like hell.
Tobio knows he didn’t mean any of the words he said to you. Losing you was the last thing he wanted to happen in his life and he knows that if he lost you, he’ll never be able to pick up the volleyball again because it’ll scar him forever that you left because of it. You got a point, you were just concerned and he’s being stubborn.
Melting into your boyfriend’s arm, you took him back to the apartment. A couple of hours later were spent in the living room with you icing his bruised foot and booking an appointment trip to the hospital the next day. Turns out that he sprained his foot and will be needing at least a week of rest.
Tobio will probably be silent the following days, reflecting on his words and actions however, he’ll also reach a breaking point and apologize to you with all his heart. He cannot stand the fact that he told you to leave yet, you’re here, taking care of him like there’s no tomorrow. He’s a goddamn lucky one.
KITA SHINSUKE
We all know that Shinsuke is pretty strict with how he keeps things in his life organized. He follows a strict routine every day and is calm with life. However, when he encounters people that are not as efficient as him, there’s a tendency that he’ll lose control and will try to control your life.
You explained to Shinsuke that both of you have different approaches to how you deal with things in life. If he’s someone that doesn’t give a shit about some things in life, you’re the type to let everything sink in first before moving forward.
But this particular argument burst your last ounce of patience with explaining to him because he invalidated your feelings.
“Shinsuke, how many times do I have to explain to you that I cannot just push myself to do things that I cannot do at the moment? I am having a slump day and the least you can do is either offer me comfort or just leave me alone.”
“How long are you going to stay like that? The world will not stop for you just because you’re sad. Stop acting like that and do what you have to do.”
Shinsuke didn’t realize the impact of his words not until he heard no response from you. Turning to see you once more, he saw you wearing a blank expression. Honestly, he got a point but what matters the most for you at the moment is how you feel your emotions first before you heal and move forward. And Shinsuke just invalidated that.
“Okay.” You replied, standing up from your seat, and heading towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Shinsuke asked with arms crossing against his chest.
“Out.” With that, you didn’t even bother to wait for his response and exited the apartment. Shinsuke was confused at first but he figured out you wanted some space right now. Sighing, he didn’t chase you and continued with his daily routine.
Outside was you, heart heavy as you let yourself get lost with your slump day. You thought that going for a walk alone was actually nice and helped you clear your thoughts out of your head so you let yourself walk for hours without a destination.
On the other hand, Shinsuke already finished his afternoon routine and was just lounging around the living room. Glancing at his phone, he saw that the sun will set soon and realized that it has been hours since you left and you didn’t text him a single message.
Panicking, hen rang your number a few times.
“Shin-”
“Y/N, where are you?”
You heard things rummaging around in the background followed by keys jiggling. Eventually, Shinsuke came to pick you up because it’s getting late and he’s worried. When Shinsuke found you sitting on the bench by the river, he swear he felt calmness and peace inside with you.
“I’m sorry, darling. I invalidated how you feel.”
Shinsuke will speak softly to you and will not hesitate to acknowledge his mistakes. If you chose to stay silent, he’ll understand it and will just watch the sunset with you. Shinsuke knows that it’s his mistake and he’s in no place to decide when to be forgiven. He may look calm but he’s actually felt fear inside because he doesn’t want to lose you.
If you decided to forgive him, Shinsuke will squeeze your hand as a sign of affirmation and comfort. No matter what decision you’ll pick, expect that Shinsuke will spend the following days making it up to you with his small actions.
He wanted you to feel safe and loved with him because you are one of the things that he treasures the most.
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© godkeis. do not repost on any platform.
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c1nnam00n · 1 month
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me trying not to smile from the fanfic i just read
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