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tetsumie · 7 months

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“𝐘𝐎𝐔’𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘” — 𝐏𝐓 𝟐

read part 1 here!

pairing: kuroo x reader & kenma x reader

genre: hurt/comfort

a/n: hello !! sorry for being gone for soooo long D: i wasn’t doing well and was in a really bad place mentally.. (plus burnout 😓😓) but regardless tysm for all the love in the first part of this fic! i appreciate u all sm and i’ll work on getting asks in! thank u for being so patient w me !! luv u :D

kuroo tetsuro

you woke up late today and weren't surprised that kuroo had already left for work by the time you woke up. but he did leave you a post-it note saying he made breakfast leftovers for you in the fridge.

you smile at the thought that kuroo took the time out of his day to make some food especially in the morning. however, as you're getting ready for the day, your eye catches the lunch bag that's sitting on the kitchen bar countertop.

"this idiot," you mumble, shaking your head with a smile on your face. you pull out your phone and shoot him a text.

y/n: thanks for the breakfast it was really good

tetsu: im glad :)

y/n: also you left your lunch at home stupid

tetsu: oh shit

tetsu: can you drop it off for me? i cant come home to pick up, im in a meeting rn

y/n: yeah that's fine

tetsu: thanks baby ill kiss u when i see u

tetsu: love u 2 the moon and back !!

y/n: ur so weird

y/n: love u 2 the moon and back <3

a few hours pass by and now you're taking the bus to head to kuroo's office with his lunch bag in hand. before leaving the house, you decided to swap his current lunch which was some leftovers with his favorite food, grilled salted mackerel.

you enter his office floor and are greeted by the office receptionist from the floor. "i'm just here to drop off some food for kuroo-san."

"oh yes, right this way," she stands up and opens the office door for you and points out where his room is.

as you're about to knock on his door, you hear his voice from the other side. "i'm not sure if i can come out tonight to eat kenma. y/n probably wants me home, you know how clingy they get sometimes."

your heart sinks to the floor.

has he always thought of me this way? clingy? i didn't mean to act that way? i just like being in his company. i didn't mean to be clingy. i didn't know he felt that way...

"anyways, i'll call you back kenma. i gotta get back to work. see ya later" he ends the call.

you take a deep breath, standing in front of the door, thinking about kuroo's words to his best friend. before you could even knock, the door opens and you're greeted by kuroo.

"oh y/n! you should've texted me you were here!"

you let out a laugh that sort of dies in your throat. "oh um i just wanted to surprise you that's all."

"come in, let's eat together. you can see the beautiful downtown view from here," he tries to usher you inside his personal office room.

you're a little uncomfortable so you hold yourself back from going on, "maybe another time, yeah? i gotta head back. i've got a lot of work to do with college and work and stuff."

"no yeah of course, i get it. work hard! but first..." kuroo smiles and before you can pull away, he kisses you on the head. "i'll see you when i get home. love you!"

too ashamed to even look at him as you walked out of his office, you just wave to him with your back facing him as you walked away.

you're now sitting on the bus on the way home, thinking about the way he called you clingy. "you know how clingy they get.." has he always thought i'm clingy? has he just been putting up with my annoying habits? i thought he liked the way i treated him. i didn't know he thought it was clingy.

you're trying to look back at your actions and now it's all coming back to you.

you're always trying to kiss him, hug him, cuddle him. you're always talking to him about random things from an occurrence at the grocery store to some new show you're watching. literally last night, you both were cuddling while watching a new episode of kuroo's favorite sit-com and you were running your fingers through his hair.

it all made sense.

you were clingy.

and he wanted space.

you were going to respect that.

kuroo comes home later that evening and announces himself with an "i'm home!"

you're on the dining table with the computer open, working on some new assignment and you smile at him. "welcome home," you say with a smile.

he's expecting you to get up and come over and hug him like you usually do but to his surprise, you continue to look back at your computer.

he assumes you're just busy and doesn't think much of it.

kuroo heads into the shared bedroom to unwind from his hectic day at work. he takes a shower and changes into some pajama pants and is now heading back to the living room to see what you're up to.

you're still sitting on the dining table with all your notebooks splayed out and computer open, working on what seems to be some really big project. he plops down next to you and starts squinting at the screen. he starts poking you to grab your attention from the screen.

"the mackerel was really good today."

"that's good."

silence envelops the atmosphere between the both of you until kuroo decides to speak again.

"what are you working on?"

"college stuff."

"maybe take a break now?" he suggests.

"i can't. it's due soon," your voice flat. "if you want dinner, there's some leftovers i made in the fridge."

"alright," he replies, getting up from the chair to the kitchen to warm up some food.

his shoulders droop a little. he was hoping to spend some time with you. but he is aware that something is off with you. he's not sure what it is but he knows something isn't right. you haven't given him a single kiss or even a hug since he's been back and your usual sarcastic remarks are gone.

you've barely even acknowledged his presence.

"maybe it's just an off day?" is what he convinces himself.

but those "off days" are starting to become more consistent.

you're out of bed before he wakes up in the morning and you barely talk to him when he comes home. you always end up sleeping after he falls asleep and he can't even stay up because of how exhausted he gets after work. the amount of physical affection has declined from you and every time he texts or talks to you, your replies are barely existent.

it feels like he's living by himself. when did it get so cold?

on the other hand, you think it's going well! you haven't been all up in his business lately. you're giving him the space he wants. you're hoping that kuroo is feeling much happier since you're smothering him less. sure, you miss getting to hold and cuddle him but this is what he wanted, right?

now that the week is over, kuroo is hoping to spend the weekend with you.

that morning, kuroo sets an alarm to wake up earlier than you in hopes of spending some extra affectionate time with you. however, the moment he wakes up, the other side of the bed is empty and cold.

he has no choice but to get out of bed to see where you are. there's no way you're up right now. at 7 am on a weekend? no way.

he walks out of the room and he feels his heart chip. you're sleeping on the couch, slightly shivering because the blanket you're using barely covers you. have you been sleeping on the couch this past week? why didn't i notice? kuroo begins to internally berate himself right now for letting you sleeping on the couch for this past week right under his nose.

with no hesitation, he bridal-style carries you back into the shared bedroom and tucks you under the duvet cover and comes back into bed.

however, you've already woken up and you sit up on the bed, startled. "w-what? where am i?"

he scoffs, "i brought you in our bedroom idiot."

"oh," you're now grabbing your stuff and climbing out to go back to the couch but kuroo stops you by grabbing your arm.

"where are you going?"

"to the couch?"

"but this is our bedroom?"

"no, this is your bedroom," you emphasize.

"y/n." his tone feels cold to you. "talk to me."

"we are talking, are we not?"

he starts scratching the back of his neck. "yes but you know it's not the same. what's going on baby?"

his hand to tries to reach your cheek to stroke it with his thumb but you turn away and immediately stand up from his bed. "it's okay kuroo, please go back to sleep. it's the weekend, you should rest."

his heart chips at the gesture. why are you avoiding him like this? what did he do? what happened to 'tetsu?'

"it's tetsu to you," he mumbles.

you open your mouth but shut it and cast you eyes away from his stare down at the floor.

"it's always been tetsu to you," he states.

you're still silent and he takes it as his queue to continue speaking.

"baby, everyday i come home from work and you barely acknowledge me. you're always busy doing 'college stuff' or something else. you barely hug me or even kiss me anymore. what happened? what did i do? did i do something wrong? did i overstep my boundaries? are you mad at me about something? please i wanna know what i did wrong so i can fix myself."

your heart softens at his words and you begin to immediately reassure him.

"there's nothing wrong with you... nothing has ever been wrong with you... i just want to work on giving you your space. i know that you think i'm clingy and so i wanted to work on just giving you room to breathe. i know i can be a little too much sometimes. i'm sorry for not realizing how clingy my actions were sooner. i'm sorry i-"

he immediately walks over to you and brings you to his chest, hugging you tightly. your eyes slightly widen. "don't you dare fucking apologize. it's not your fault. shit, it's never been your fault, baby. what made you even think that?"

in embarrassment, you mumble, "i heard you say i'm clingy to kenma. sorry i didn't mean to overhear."

"oh, my love," he pulls away and looks at you with a sad look in his eyes. "it's not what you think."

he sighs and he sits on the side of the bed and taps the bed space in front of him for you to sit down as well. "kenma's been trying to get me to go meet some new volleyball members to affiliate them with the jva and to be honest, i already have so much on my plate with the current affiliates, that i'm really trying to avoid going out for dinner with him. i'm trying to get one of my coworkers to go on my behalf to seal the deal but i can't find anyone willing to."

"i just used your name as an excuse. i swear on my life, i never really meant that. i never ever meant to hurt you."

still finding it hard to believe him, you mumble, "you don't need to lie.. i understand if-"

"y/n, i swear on my mother, i'm not lying," he interrupts. "every single fucking day, the only think i ever look forward to is seeing your beautiful face in my apartment. i look forward to your rambles about the new show you started watching or how the current professor you're shadowing is a douche. i love your bear hugs and i love the way you kiss me all over my face in the mornings. fuck, i love knowing that i get to go to sleep with you every night and i get to wake up to you every morning. i love you, just the way you are. please don't ever change yourself over some fucking lie i said."

"i'm so sorry y/n, so sorry for ever making you doubt my love for you," he intertwines his hand in yours and looks into your eyes. "i'll do anything to regain your trust.

he senses the hesitation in your eyes and honestly, he can't blame you. you've been harboring this guilt for a week and it makes sense that you're still feeling a little uncomfortable around him.

but to his surprise, you inch your way closer to him and hug his chest and the tears begin to fall. his body tenses and he feels so guilty about everything. he rubs reassuring circles on your back and kisses your head every few moments.

after you wipe your tears on his shirt, you look up at him and honestly kuroo hates to admit this but you still look gorgeous even with a tear stained face. he's grinning at you and begins to pepper your face with his kisses.

"love you to the moon and back," he whispers into your ear.

you chuckle and kiss him on the lips. "love you to the moon and back, tetsu."

in that moment, he swears to himself that he'll make sure that you never have to doubt his love for you ever again.

kozume kenma

as the ceo of his own startup company, a youtube streamer, and a college student, kenma can almost never find any time to himself. the only time he really feels at peace is either when he's asleep or when he's with you.

but sometimes things get so hectic and suffocating, he just wants to be alone, away from the world.

after a long day of classes, you walk into your shared apartment and you can hear kenma talking from his bedroom/home office. you try to keep quiet not disturbing him.

in hopes of cheering him up, you decide what better way to do so by making his favorite food: apple pie. you put down your stuff on the living room couch, grab the apron, and get to work.

kenma stays locked up in his bedroom for the majority of time that you're baking and a part of you just hopes that maybe he'll come out to just say "hi" or just accompany you to see what you're up to but unfortunately he doesn't.

after the pie is done baking in the oven and you've brought him a slice so he can get some food in his system because you're sure he hasn't been taking care of himself. you're hoping that maybe, just maybe, the both of you will finally get to spend some time together.

you knock on the door twice.

no response.

you knock once more and call out his name, "kenma, you busy still?"

still no response.

you sigh, realizing there was no hope in knocking, and decide to twist the knob and enter his room. you're greeted with the sight of him sitting on his gaming chair, knees to his chest, headphones over his ears, and slightly biting the eraser top of his pencil.

he must have felt the presence of someone else in the room with him because he looked away from his computer screen and his eyes widened. he slid his headphones off his ear and hung them around his neck.

"how long have you been home?" he bluntly asks.

"for an hour or two now, i think," you reply.

“oh sorry, i didn’t see you,” he mumbles.

you chuckle in response. “i didn’t think you would considering you’ve been cooped up in your room the entire time.”

“well yeah,” he says. “i’m busy.”

as he’s about to put his headphones back on and get back to work, you speak up. “i know you’re busy but do you wanna eat with me? i made-”

“can we talk later? i don’t have time for your clinginess right now.”

oh.

he puts his headphones on and indulges himself back in his work, not even registering the weight of his words.

you slowly walk out of his room, silently close the door, grab yourself a slice of apple pie originally made for the both of you, and plop yourself on the couch to watch some new show on the television.

after working for nearly hours on end, kenma finally finishes the load of work he had piled. now all he wants to do is just spend some time with you before going to bed. he walks out of the bedroom and is greeted by you asleep with the television humming in the background.

he can't help but let a small smile envelop his features. it's such a domestic sight and he wants to photograph this moment in time.

he knows he said some harsh words to you out of frustration but he hopes that you understand that he didn’t truly mean them.

he goes over and kisses your forehead and he smells the distinctive scent of apple pie and his heart softens at the thought that you made him his favorite food.

he goes over to his bedroom, grabs a blanket and lays it over you and goes under the blanket, snuggling himself closer to you. he hasn't felt this relaxed in a while and your presence is just so comforting to him.

he doesn't know what he'd do without you.

the next morning, you wake up and find yourself in an awkward position and your feel arms wrapped around your torso. you look to your left and are greeted by kenma's sleeping figure and you can't help but smile.

but you remind yourself of what he told you yesterday and you silently get up from the couch and begin to get ready for the rest of your day.

his words, "i don't have time for your clinginess right now", really had sent you into a spiral last night and you were too exhausted to think clearly. did you always come off as clingy to him? you were definitely a bit more energetic and enthusiastic than him but you never thought it was clingy?

you can't seem to think straight so you decide to maybe go out for a walk, just to take your mind off things. you just need some time alone, away from your apartment with him.

kenma wakes up only a few minutes later and he feels cold. his neck is sore, considering how he slept in an uncomfortable position because he wanted to sleep with you. however, to his surprise, he doesn't find you asleep next to him.

as he walks around the house, calling your name, a sense of urgency begins to form in the pit of his stomach.

he dials your number and it goes to voicemail.

he does it again. still voicemail.

he's about to call you one more time until he hears the jangle of keys and the door opening. a sigh of relief leaves his mouth and as you're about to turn your keys to open the door, he's a step ahead of you, opening the door for you.

"oh my god, i thought you went missing," kenma hugs you, catching you by surprise. "where'd you go?"

hesitant to reply, you say, "oh just went on a walk, that's all."

"you should've told me, we could've gone together," he states. "i feel like we haven't seen each other in forever."

"it's fine. don't worry about it."

there's something wrong and he can sense it in your demeanor. as you're heading to the master bedroom, he can see the way your shoulders slump as you put your keys back. he doesn't address your distant behavior, thinking that you're just having a rough morning and it'll get better as the day goes on.

unfortunately, it doesn't get better.

you seem to be fine but you just feel incredibly distant.

kenma's been playing games in his room all day and unlike usual, you're not in his bedroom watching him play or sitting on the bed scrolling through your phone. his gaming experience isn't the same when you're not there.

he pauses his game and goes out to the living room to see you lying down on the couch, scrolling through videos on your phone. he wants to ask why you're not staying with him but he doesn't want to make overstep your boundaries, especially since it seems like you're not in a good mood.

but that's anything from what you want.

you want him to ask you to stay in his room and keep you company. but because he hasn't done so, his word "clingy" began to scream louder in your head and to be frank, that's the only thing roaming in your head.

"do you want to do anything today?" he asks. "you know.. because it's the weekend and we can go out if you want? like going out to eat?"

a part of you began to feel guilty considering he was thinking about what you wanted to do and you hated feeling like a burden towards him. he already expressed his disapproval with you when he said he found you clingy so you didn't want to impose any further.

"no it's okay," you reply, eyes glued to your phone. "i don't want to annoy you or anything.. so i'll just go on my own or something..."

he hums in response but his eyebrows furrow as he doesn't seem to move from his spot. he can tell there's something wrong and you're obviously being very dodgy with him about the subject which is why he decides to take a seat on the couch and snatch your phone from your hands before you can even register what's happened.

"hey give me back my phone!" you sit up, stretching yourself over to grab your phone back from him in a failed attempt.

"not until you tell me what's wrong," he says flat.

you sigh, knowing that this conversation isn't inevitable. you can't avoid him forever "you called me clingy yesterday, kenma. sorry that i don't really want to hang out with you right now."

the words that leave your mouth have kenma in a state of shock. you took that seriously? you really thought he meant that? in order to ease his busy day of meetings back to back, you came home baked him some apple pie to ease him from his stresses.

and what did he do in return? called you clingy when you just wanted to spend some well-deserved time with him. god, he was being so ungrateful. his body fills with guilt when he he realizes you took his comment to heart.

“honey, i-” he starts and then is cut off with your words.

"i understand where you were coming from, i like to show my affection with you through physical touch and i know you’ve never been one to really reciprocate that," you begin to ramble. "so i’m really sorry for pushing your boundaries and i’ll give you the space that you need."

guilt is eating him away and he needs to clear the air now, otherwise you might be closed off forever and he’s not sure if he’s ever going to be able to reconnect with you.

“y/n, honey, don't apologize for this. it’s not your fault at all,” he starts. he puts down the phone onto the couch and grabs both of your hands and squeezes them assuringly. “i'm sorry for pushing you away and calling you clingy. you didn't.. you never deserve to be told that."

his hand finds its way to your cheek and he begins to rub comforting slow circles. seeing the sullen look on your face made him realize that he never wants to see you like this ever again. it was like you had lost the light in your eyes. kenma hated how he had diminished that so quickly by making you think that he didn't like your company.

he loves you so much; he could never imagine what life would be like without your presence.

a small smile begins to creep back on to your face and kenma finds himself in a slight sense of relief.

"it's okay," you finally utter out. "do you wanna watch that new episode? apparently there is so much drama now and i'm avoiding socials so i don't get spoiled..."

he chuckles, "i'll do anything with you."

he knows that he can't take back his words from before but as he's sitting on the couch with you in his embrace, he knows he can show you his love through his actions. he'll do anything to bring back that trust to you.

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tetsumie · 1 year

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i hope you have mastelist now 😔

hi !

since i’m still relatively new, i don’t have that many fics but i did make a masterlist ☺️☺️☺️

masterlist is linked here

also it’s linked on my pinned post as well ☺️

#sumi speaks <3

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tetsumie · 1 year

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𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

haikyuu

chainsaw man

attack on titan

jujutsu kaisen

#masterlist #haikyuu #chainsaw man #attack on titan

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tetsumie · 1 year

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𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐔

comfort fics

you’re so clingy (ft. tsukishima kei & suna rintaro)

you’re so clingy pt.2 (ft. kuroo tetsuro & kozume kenma)

angst fics

i always will (ft. kuroo tetsuro)

slice of life (fluff) fics

nothing as of rn.. come back later !!

stay tuned for more!

#masterlist #haikyuu #haikyuu masterlist

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tetsumie · 1 year

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Do you have a taglist? If so can I be in it? I rlly like your fics ^^

hello !! i don’t have a taglist as of right now but i might make one in the future! might release more info later abt this :)

#sumi speaks <3

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tetsumie · 1 year

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hello! just a little update but i am currently writing a part 2 of the "you're so clingy" fic! i won't be saying who's in it (bc #suspense) but i'm kinda going through a bit of writer's block rn so sorry it's taking so long for me to post it :( i want it to be a work that i'm proud of!

for the time being, i might be writing small fics to help me get back into the gist of writing again :,)

thank you for being patient with me ! <3

#sumi speaks <3 #so sorry for the delay #school + writer's block are going to kill me #also doesn't help that i keep thinking abt my ex...#sorry im oversharing #anyways #i hope you all are well and eating healthy <3 #drink water !!!

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tetsumie · 1 year

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this is so real

no matter how many fandoms you exist in, your haikyuu selfship stays with you always

#no matter what i find myself coming back to kuroo mf tetsuro (24) japan volleyball association sports promotion division #i hate him #no i dont #i have a fat stupid crush on him why does he have me in a chokehold

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tetsumie · 1 year

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HELLO I LITR HAD TEN FOLLOWERS YESTEFAY WHAT IS HAPPENINGJFJS. 😭😭 THANK U ALL SM FOR THIS AND THE AMOUNT OF APPRECIATION ON MY LAST FIC IS OVERWHELMING HOLY SHAT THANK U 🙏🙏

#no bc how is this real #this is crazy to me #sumi speaks <3

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tetsumie · 1 year

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hi! do you have a master list?

ah no not yet! i’m still trying to think of a format to make my masterlist both easy for me to update and easy for readers to find specific fics they’re looking for.

i only have two fics out rn as of current btw, here r their links:

“you’re so clingy” — hurt/comfort with tsukishima & suna

“i always will” — angst with kuroo

#convos with a stranger <3 #hi anon :)

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tetsumie · 1 year

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this is so pure i'll cry

Baker! iwa and Office guy! oiks ( 🍞x💼 )

#ill kiss iwa #rn #why is he so beautiful #iwa in his baker eraaa #sumi reblogs <3

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tetsumie · 1 year

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"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘"

read part 2 here!

pairing: tsukishima x reader & suna x reader

genre: hurt/comfort

a/n: sorry i got carried away writing these ahh i sort of twisted the prompt of "when they call you clingy" into my own sort of thing idk how to explain but hopefully this turned out well :,) also not proofread so sorry about the mistakes! and as always feel free to send me requests and tell me ur thoughts on my writing!

tsukishima kei

tsukishima, you, and a few of the former karsuno volleyball players decided to have a small little reunion dinner after not seeing each other for so long.

everyone's embracing each other with hugs and to be frank, it's really nice of him to invite you to meet his friends from high school! you're really looking forward to getting to know them and maybe even getting to know your boyfriend a bit more.

as all of you are sitting at the table debating what to order, there's much chit chat between everyone and you swear you haven't seen kei so carefree in a while. sure, he's still throwing his sarcastic, snarky comments but they don't hit too harshly towards his teammates.

they are most definitely used to this.

the food has arrived and way too much wine has been ordered. with their slurred words and pink cheeks, you can tell all of them are going to blackout the moment they all get home.

"kei, so how'd you pull this gorgeous girl?" tanaka asks out of nowhere "ain't no way she fell for your snarky ass personality."

you and him both let out a chuckle and he replied with, "nah, they're just clingy as fuck and i guess they were fun to keep around."

you go quiet and the laughter has sort of died out. but the drinks keep pouring and nishinoya speaks.

"god, you're a fucking asshole," nishinoya chimes. "she's way too good for you.

although the conversation begins to take a turn in a different direction, you can't seem to get his words out of your mind.

clingy. he thinks i'm clingy.

a ball of insecurity starts to form in your stomach and his comment starts the train of overthinking. you keep telling yourself that he's had too many drinks.

yet a part of you is telling you that drunk thoughts are sober words.

how long has he thought of me as "clingy?"

the small chuckles and laughs that escape your lips have come to a halt and now you're feeling incredibly insecure. you begin to zone out and start chugging down a few glasses of wine to drown out your surroundings.

after a few eventful hours, you and tsukishima decide to grab a taxi and head home for the night. he unlocks the door to your shared apartment and you immediately head into the bedroom to change your clothes, not sparing him a second glance.

tsukishima enters the bed after cleaning up and his arm drapes over your chest. your body goes completely stiff and you're super uncomfortable with his touch, especially after his comment about you being clingy.

the moment you hear his light snores, you slowly remove his arm off your body and turn to face away from him. a feeling of numbness begins to overtake your body and you feel a sense of emptiness within.

the next morning, tsukishima woke up with a horrible headache and he instantly regretted drinking so much last night. he groans and pats your side of the bed and is greeted by just the bedsheets and not you.

grumbling, he got out of bed in search of you and finds you standing by the balcony with a cup of coffee in your hand. in that moment, his heart skips a beat and he's reminded of how much he loves you.

you yelp in surprise when you feel two arms slither around your torso and his chin resting on your shoulder. "good morning baby," he kisses your cheek.

"hi kei," you say curtly.

"what's for breakfast?"

"i just made myself toasted bread with jam. you can just make some cereal or something. i think we still have your lucky charms in the pantry," you tell him.

he pulls away from you and he feels something is off with you. you feel distant.

the feeling is confirmed when the both of you are sitting on the living room sofa while watching the new episode of your favorite reality tv show. kei expects you to come close to him and rest your head on his shoulder like you usually do yet there you are, in his vicinity, but sitting on the other end of the couch, clinging to a throw pillow.

he can't seem to concentrate on the movie when the only thing he can see is you sitting to yourself, gone completely quiet. he doesn't know what's wrong and he can't rack his mind as to what might have happened that made you so distant.

after the movie ends, he kisses your forehead and he feels your body stiffen.

what's going on? i don't know what i did?

he pulls away and looks at you. "y/n, something's wrong," he states.

you refuse to meet his gaze now and your twiddling with your fingers. he seems to have no recollection of what he's said to you last night. although, he might not recall what he said, it's the only thing you can recall in your mind. ever since this morning, whenever, you look at him, the only thing running in your mind is his words, "nah, she's just clingy as fuck and i guess she was fun to keep around."

"we're good," you reply promptly. "don't worry about it."

he grabs your hands and puts them in his which catches you off guard. you love the feeling of his hand in yours but the rational part of your brain wants to pull away, thinking about how he thought you were so clingy.

"listen, i'm not good at this. i'm not good at communicating my feelings but for you, i want to do better. so please, it would mean a lot if you could tell me what's wrong so i can help you and... us."

this is the most genuine you've seen him in a while and although to most, it may have seemed like some half-assed speech but to you, it felt raw and vulnerable.

"ok well," you began. "last night, when we were out with your friends, you were talking with your friends and well, you mentioned something about me. and it made me wonder if you think i'm clingy?"

he was confused. "no, i don't think you're clingy anymore? i don't know what you're talking about?"

the "anymore" in his response to you was something that saddened you a little. he found me clingy yet never told me?

"so you did think i was clingy, right?"

with a deep breath, he began to explain himself, "when we got together, i wasn't really used to... being so close to someone. you would always hold my hand or loop your arm in mine or something. you would always be holding me or touching me and i wasn't sure how i felt it about it at first. i was never one for physical touch so when you began to show that to me, i just... it felt... suffocating."

you're looking into his eyes, swimming with sadness and searching for answers, and he feels a mixture of sadness and guilt as he continues to explain himself.

"but being with you, i've grown to love your touch and honestly, now that i think about it, i don't know what i'd do if you just stopped being yourself and clinging on to me. i would go insane if you stopped."

kei leans in for a hug and you hug him back. you missed holding him like this and well, you just miss him. but now that kei has said all this, you're not sure about anything anymore.

you pull away and tell him, "i'm sorry you couldn't tell me that you were uncomfortable with my touches. i should have asked you how fast or slow you wanted to go and i shouldn't have forced my affection on to you."

"if you want, we can slow down. i understand," you say with a tone of finality in your voice.

"no!" he immediately replied. "it's.. it's not that. you don't force your affection on to me. you never have. i just am awkward with affection and growing up, i've never had it so i'd get super fidgety and that's why i think i felt like you were being clingy. but i love it."

"i love it when you hold my hand when we're walking to the grocery store. i love it when you doodle on my hand with your fingers when we're waiting for the food to come when we eat out. i love it when you tell me about the little stories from work while you're cooking dinner. i love it when you mumble in your sleep and snuggle close to me when it gets cold at night. i love everything about you."

kei was very much out of his comfort zone as he told you all these things and it surprised you that he noticed all these little details. you could tell he was getting embarrassed, considering how his cheeks were turning pink. you couldn't help but let a little smile seep through your facial features.

"you're so sappy," you reply.

"oh shut up."

you both laugh and then he cups your cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb in circles. "don't ever think you force your affection on me because you never do, okay?"

"okay, kei."

the both of you spend the rest of the day with one another, making comforting memories together that the both of you will fondly remember in the future.

suna rintaro

you're not even sure how this argument even started. all you can remember is asking suna if he could accompany you to a work party that you were invited to. it was supposed to be a relatively relaxing event with not too much worries yet suna was once again trying to bail out.

"come on rin! it's one party and we never get to go out anymore," you try again for the nth time.

"y/n, jesus, i told you this, i don't want to fucking go! practice is draining me out and the one day i get off, you want me to go to some stupid fucking work party. can't you see that i want to be home?"

"we won't even have to be there that long! i just want you to come with me so you can meet some of my friends and support me. i'm really not asking for much," you counter. "i'm always trying to go to your games to support you from the stands and i'm asking you to do this one thing for me."

"i never fucking asked you to come to my games!" suna's voice began to rise and you felt yourself shrink. you had never seen him so intensely angry before. he was always so nonchalant so seeing this side of him made you nervous. "god, you're just so suffocating with everything. you always wanna do shit together, like jeez, give me a break. you're so fucking clingy sometimes; i just want space."

your mouth snaps shut and you can't find it in yourself to even reply. suna leaves the bedroom and you can head the jangle of his keys and the front door opens and then slams shut. a tear escapes from one eye and then all of a sudden, it's a full blown mental breakdown. you're sitting on the bed, crying off all your makeup.

after your cries turn into sniffles, you call up one of your colleagues, telling them you won't be attending the party. that night, you end up crying yourself to sleep.

suna had come home quite late that night after storming out.

in his head, he admits that the argument had blown up for no reason. but he just really didn't want to see your coworkers. he was cranky, annoyed, and irritated, making him deeply irrational.

as he walks into the bedroom, he sees you fast asleep in your clothes that you were planning to go out in and your makeup smudged all over your face. he felt incredibly guilty.

he messed up big time and he had to fix this. he hoped in the morning, the both of you would wake up together so he could talk it out and apologize.

you wake up the next morning feeling a lot better than last night. you turn to see suna lying in bed and a part of you just wants to run your fingers through your hair. as your fingers hover above his head, you're reminded of his words from last night.

you're so fucking clingy sometimes. i just want space.

your fingers immediately retracted and you decided to get up to start the rest of your day. you didn't want to let his words get to you. he said his opinion and there's nothing much you could do other than give him space. you'd be doing him a favor by giving him that space that he wanted, right?

suna shifts in bed, arm reaching out to your side of the bed, subconsciously. as he pats down your side of the bed, he feels the emptiness and he jolts up out of bed.

he's walking out of the bedroom and he sees you sitting on the couch, watching something on the television.

a sigh of relief escapes his mouth, thanking whatever deity out there that you hadn't left. even if you did, he couldn't blame you for it. he hurt you and there was no denying that.

"hi babe," he casually says alouds and plops on the couch next to you.

"hey."

your tone is cold and to be frank, you could care less than speak to him right now. seeing him is just a constant reminder of how clingy you are and you really don't want to be confronted with the feeling of sadness again.

in an attempt to smooth things over with you, he tries to start conversation in hopes that things will get back to normal naturally and maybe.. just maybe you'll know that he's sorry without him saying it.

"osamu was talking about some new onigiri thing he made and he wanted to drop some off for us to try. should i say yes?" he asked.

"sure."

your responses to his efforts are completely shut down and he's just praying that things get better with time. he reassures himself that things will go back to normal, it's just a matter of time. within a few days, things will be back to normal!

that's what he thought until his first volleyball match of the season came about. as he was standing in the court, his eyes scanned the rest of the stadium for your figure in hopes of finding you wearing his jersey but to no avail, he couldn't find you.

he assumed you were running late or stuck in traffic. no matter what you would be here, right?

but the first set is already over and you're nowhere to be seen. taking a quick break, he texts you:

suna: r u here?

suna: i don't see u in the stands.

it's delivered and suna's back in the court. he's misreading all of the opponent's attacks and his blocks are all being haphazardly done. the only thing on his mind is you.

the EJP coach calls for a timeout and sits him out for the rest of the match. "i don't know what's going on with you but you need to pull it together. your slacking is messing up with the rest of the team," coach berated him and all suna could do was nod his head.

he sat on the bench and immediately grabs his phone to text you.

suna: can you please answer?

suna: or call me? please?

suna: fuck y/n

suna: r u ok?

with no response, concern is etched onto his face. he tells his coach that he has to go and although he's about to suffer hell when he goes to practice tomorrow for dipping, he needs to see you.

you're seeing all of his messages.

you've seen all of them.

and you don't want to respond to a single one of them.

you know he's coming home and he's about to bombard you with questions and you don't want to respond to him. you don't want to come off as clingy again.

you hear the jangle of the keys and prepare yourself.

he opens the door and finds you in the kitchen, making yourself some snacks.

"so where were you today?" he begins.

"at home."

his hands find their way to your waist and he slowly turns you around to look him in the eye. "why didn't you come?"

you sigh in frustration. "i don't know what you want from me. you say i'm clingy and you want some space and on top of that you mentioned how you've never asked me to go to any of your games so here i am respecting your wishes like you asked yet you have the fucking audacity to ask me where i was and why i wasn't with you?"

his hands let go of your waist and he steps back to fully look at you.

"rin, i don't know what you want from me anymore."

suna's mouth opens and then shuts, not sure as to what to say to you. you were more upset about his comment than you let on and now all your anger and frustration was coming out.

"listen, i-"

"no, you listen to me," you interrupt, immediately shutting him up. "all i wanted that night was for you to come to my work party. it's all i wanted. that party was mainly for me because i helped our company reach this new milestone! and i wanted you to come and celebrate with me and my colleagues. is it so much to ask for my boyfriend to come support me?"

"and then you go on to say i'm clingy and do you have any idea how much it hurt me when you said that? when you would talk to me about anything, the only thing going through my head would be the fact that you called me clingy and god, i just wanted to vanish in thin air because i hated knowing that you thought that of me which is why i gave you your space. i kept thinking you just didn't want my affection."

you rest your elbows on the kitchen countertop and put your face in your hands. you finally burst out with all the feelings that have been suffocating your mind. it felt good to finally relieve it all but you could only imagine what was going through his mind. was he mad or upset or did he just not care about my feelings?

all of a sudden, you feel two arms wrap around your torso and kisses to the top of your head.

"love, you're not clingy. if anything, i'm the clingy one. i always want you by my side like at my games or when i go out with my friends or even if i'm just lying in bed. i want you."

he strokes your hair and now you're turning around to look at him again. his eyes are wide and a bit glassy. this is probably one of the first times you've seen emotion on his face aside from his regular snarky remarks.

"i wish i could take back what i said that night but i can't. but please know that i don't know what i'd do without you. i was really upset that night and all i wanted to was just sleep it off. but your insistence to go got me aggravated and i lashed out. you don't deserve that. you never deserve that."

"i want to be the one you wake up to in the morning. i want to be the one you take to all your work parties and events. i want to be the one you tell you gossip with. i want to be the one you have your late night talks with. i want to be the one you end your nights with. i want to be the one you spend the rest of your life with. i want to be yours."

tears started to escape your eyes and your heart was swollen. suna was never one to be so open with his emotions yet here he was opening so much to you. you hug his torso and sob into his chest.

"i love you, i'm sorry," you say.

"i love you too, and i'm sorry too," he replies, kissing the top of your forehead.

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tetsumie · 1 year

Text

𝐈 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋

pairing: kuroo x gen!neutral reader

genre: angst

a/n: slightly self indulgent :( but anyways this is my first fic on this blog and i'm trying to get back into writing again which feels really nice <3 also i miss my boy kuroo :(

god, how you wish you wouldn't have to do what you're about to do.

sitting on the bench in front of the lake, you fiddle with your fingers waiting for your boyfriend, kuroo, to show.

it wasn't a date or anything and he told you he was coming from a study group with some friends to meet you. the whole thing was an incredibly sporadic meetup.

"y/n!" you hear his voice and you turn your neck to see him slightly jogging towards you with his messy hair.

"hi tetsu," you reply with a small smile on his face.

he slows down his pace as he reaches you and his lips turn upwards into that smirk that you've grown to love in the months of your relationship with him.

his stupid little smirk.

"did i keep you waiting for too long?" he asks you.

you shook your head. "no no no! i was just looking at the lake for a bit and listening to some music. don't worry about it."

"sorry... study group kind of got carried away. organic chem is kicking our asses," he replies with a chuckle and you let out one as well.

"but... i did get you flowers!" he pulls out a bouquet of white carnations and your heart flutters but the feeling is immediately retracted when you remind yourself why you called him over.

"t-tetsu, you really didn't have to," you begin to stammer.

"sure i didn't have to but i wanted to," he kisses your cheek. "anything for my pretty."

he puts the bouquet in your hands and sits with you on the bench, viewing the lake with you. you're unusually quiet and kuroo feels something is off.

as he's about to ask you what's wrong, you intervene with, "tetsu can we walk for a bit?"

"y-yeah sure."

the both of you stand up and begin to walk around the sidewalk surrounding the lake. people of all kinds are here. some are walking their dogs, some with their kids, others out on a jog, some riding their skateboards, and more. even couples just like you and kuroo are present.

you still aren't saying anything and any topic kuroo brings up, you're giving curt responses and it's worrying him. what's going on?

"y/n," kuroo's upbeat voice turns to one with a bit of a more stern tone. "stop."

you stop moving and you turn to meet his honey golden brown eyes.

those honey golden brown eyes filled with love and affection just for you.

looking him in the eye was still intimidating to you even after all this time and you felt the goosebumps form on your arm.

"what's going on?" he tilts his head. "you haven't said much the entire time we've been here."

you break eye contact and you're looking everywhere else on his face other than his eyes now. you know the moment you look into his eyes, he's going to read you like an open book and you're going to burst into tears.

"my mom and dad want us to break up."

the world around kuroo silences. he can't hear the dogs barking anymore or the sound of the skateboard wheels riding along the cement or the laughter from the children walking around with their families. the only thing he can hear are your words.

"oh."

you can see the heartbreak take over his handsome facial features and you can't help but feel at fault for all of it. it's your fault now that he's upset.

"but why? i didn't do anything! i mean, we haven't formally met, but we've said hello and stuff on call! i don't think i was disrespectful? right, i wasn't disrespectful?" he begins to ramble.

"no, tetsu, you were never disrespectful to them." you reply in a low voice.

"then why do they want us to break up? it doesn't make sense.. we haven't done anything wrong?" he asks.

"they just... they think me in a relationship with you is all too soon. us being in such a committed relationship is too soon."

you bit your lip waiting for his response and his gaze refused to leave your face. "y/n, there must be something more to this. tell me the entirety of their reasoning."

goddammit, he would always be able to read you like an open book.

"they were talking about how... well.. they don't think you're good for me.." you mumble.

he doesn't say anything for a moment and you feel your heart drop. you look at him and now his face is unreadable. you can't seem to figure out what's going through his mind.

"i'll talk to them," determination laced with his voice. "i'll change their mind."

"tetsuro, please..." you grab his wrist and you refuse to look back up at him knowing if you do, the tears will unconventionally fall. "it's not... it's not worth it."

"our relationship is worth it to me!" he says, his voice growing louder. "your parents are trying to pull us apart and you're just letting them! don't you want to try?"

"don't you think i did?!" you reply.

"i told them you're different! i told them how much i love you and how much you care about me and how i'm willing to spend the rest of my life with you if you asked me to! i would do it in a heartbeat! i told them that you, you, are my first love."

he hears the pain in your voice as you begin to tell him.

"kuroo, i never wanted to hurt you but i... i'm in a tough spot where i don't want to hurt my parents but i don't want to hurt you either."

he feels the wet tear droplets on his wrist and he realizes you're crying. and it hits him.

"how long have you been keeping this in?"

"..."

"how long, y/n?"

"about a month now..."

you've known for so long and yet you couldn't tell him. were you that horrified to tell him about it? he sighs. he hates the fact that you're crying.

and a part of him feels responsible for your tears.

"so what now?" he asks. "what do you want to do?"

you begin to wipe your tears, still refusing to look him in the face. you can't bare to see the expression on his face after everything that's been said.

"i... i don't know."

silence fills the space between you too and neither one of you know what to say. you refuse to look at him and he won't stop looking at your figure in front of him, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you'll look up at him.

"y/n," he says with a strength that you weren't expecting from him. "look at me... please?"

it comes out as more of a request and you can't not look up at him. your heart breaks even more at the sight. there are tear stains on his face and his eyes are stained light red.

his eyes. his honey golden brown eyes. the ones that would hold a soft gaze reserved just for you have now turned erratic and empty altogether.

he looks so vulnerable right now and you feel that it's your fault that your relationship is crumbling so quickly.

"let's break up kuroo," you tell him before he can say anything to sway your heart and mind. "i've been thinking about this for too long and i need to accept my parents' wishes."

his heart chips even more when you call him by his last name. his body screams to stop you from making this decision. he wants to believe this is all some horrifying prank but with the way your eyes are looking at him, he knows it's not.

"okay," he says.

"okay," you reply back.

he bends down a little and takes your face in his palms and you resist the urge to rub your cheek along his familiar palm like you used to. he rubs his thumb along your cheek and you feel the hot tears forming in your eyes.

right as a tear slip pasts your eye, kuroo's lips meet your cheeks and he begins to kiss away every tear that seems to slip away from your eyes.

you're never going to be able to feel his touch on your face again.

you're never going to feel the warmth of his skin on yours again.

you're never going to be able to feel the way his calloused hand fits into yours.

you're never going to be able to feel him again.

his last kiss ends on your lips and you don't have it in you to kiss him back, scared of making a decision you would regret. as he pulls away from you, you open his palm and place the bouquet of flowers back in his hands.

"don't give this back to me; it's yours," he tells you.

"please take it back... i don't want them."

with much hesitation, he takes back the flowers he picked out for you and his arms drop to his sides.

"i love you, you know that right?" you begin to say. "i love you. so fucking much."

he pulls you in for a hug, resting his chin on the top of your head.

"i love you, always," he speaks it into the air and places a chaste kiss on the top of your head.

"i always will."

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