#the card ended up feeding me just enough to power me for at least a week

[masterwords]

That bingo card definitely is something... very fitting for your fics!

I know it's a classic at this point but honestly you can't ever go wrong with it — Hotch + childhood trauma, pretty please?

Summary: Hotch enlists his friends to help him spy on his dad with disastrous results. (Based on things said in 02x19 - Ashes & Dust)

Words: 4.4k

Pairings: None

Warnings: infidelity, religion (christianity), swearing, drinking, food, cancer

Bingo Square Filled: @badthingshappenbingo Childhood Trauma (marked bingo card under cut for post size!)

Read on AO3: how it feels to have a heartbeat

Send me an ask if you'd like to request one of the open spaces on my card! It can be found HERE or at the bottom of this post.

****

There was an inflatable pool that sat only a few feet away from a brick and river rock fire pit. Right in the middle of a sort of grassy but mostly dirt lawn. Aaron and Max were lying on the paltry grass beside the pool, their bare feet sore and blistered after a day spent picking fruit in the orchard that takes up the back few acres of Aaron's family property. It's not well-maintained anymore, sort of twisted together in places with dead trees scattered about but it feeds the town well in summer. They never have minded people wandering up and picking something for themselves. The orchard was planted by his grandfather years before his mother was born. He had money to burn, and he was known to be a little eccentric, so a hobby farm suited him just fine. First it was a goat and a donkey and a few apple trees at the edge of the property, and then it became rows of apple trees and another donkey. Then peaches and some pigs. Before long it was less of a hobby and more of a job. His grandmother hated it, and when he'd passed away, she let it all go. Now the house belonged to his parents, and they sprayed the trees but kept no other remnants of the hobby farm days.

Still, the town loves the fruit trees. Mrs. Hutchison likes to bake pies and she'll take a whole tree worth of apples, enough to spend days in her kitchen, and she always brings at least two pies by the Hotchner house in thanks. Sometimes three if her haul was particularly good. Aaron can eat an entire one by himself, and she makes sure he gets one. “Far too thin...” she'll tell him, shoving the pie at his chest. “Just put a fork in it and dig in.” He's never had a particularly powerful sweet tooth but he'd do just about anything for one of her pies.

That was how he got started picking the apples. One summer, she'd had some kind of a surgery and couldn't come get any so he took it upon himself. There were plenty of bee stings and scraped knuckles before he was satisfied, but he managed. And though the pies were late, she gave him one special when she was able to make them.

What people don't pick themselves, Aaron and Haley and Jessica would lazily pick and try to sell down at the farmer's market. Just kids, they weren't very thorough and instead of paying for a stand they just gave the organizers a box of whatever fruits and vegetables they'd like. Some sort of shabby bartering system, and while Jess and Haley thought it was really cool and old timey, Aaron knew his mother had practically donated the land they set the market up on to them so really...there wouldn't have been any argument if the kids just set up. Aaron liked to keep the extent of his money as quiet as he could. Especially from his friends.

All of the money they made was put into some high interest bank account Jessica set up for Sean...maybe for college or something after. Jessica loved that kid to the ends of the earth and when they couldn't agree on where to put the money (as if it was more than $20 a week), she made the decision for them. Aaron agreed after giving it some thought, and Haley really didn't care it turned out. She just had fun with them. She was glad to be included for once. In any case, Aaron knew he already had scholarships lined up and he knew for a fact there was a hefty trust fund in his name for when he turned 21. He wasn't so sure Sean got the same treatment, times had changed after he was born. They no longer lived in the land of plenty. They came from old money, but that well was running dry. And over the last few months, their father had started acting strange. Aaron was always vaguely concerned about the future, he couldn't help it, but these days it almost consumed his every thought. Sean was so little.

“Did you sign up for drama class?” Aaron asked, wiggling his toes in the icy water. He knew that Max had his meeting with their grade level counselor earlier that day to set his schedule for senior year. Max hadn't lived there long and needed a few extra credits in order to graduate...he'd be taking a few summer school classes to make them up later. Max sighed.

“Yeah. I still don't think I'll be any good. It's nice you want me in your class and all but I'm gonna stink.”

“Easy elective credits.”

They met out in the orchard. Max was the new kid in school right at the end of the year. He was working for Aaron's mom, spraying for bugs and pruning the trees for some extra money though Aaron wasn't sure his mom paid even remotely fairly. His long hair, dirty blonde, was pulled up on the top of his head in a messy knot and his face was filthy. Aaron's first thought was that he looked like Puck stepped right out of A Midsummer Night's Dream and into his orchard, but these were thoughts better kept off of his lips. That didn't seem like the type of thing anyone but Aaron would find remotely flattering. But the thing was...

He was also gorgeous. And Aaron temporarily lost the ability to speak when they first came face to face. “I'm not stealing!” he called, craning his entire body to the side to peer at Aaron through the gnarled trees. Aaron swallowed and nodded.

“No, I know...my mom sent me out here to check on you. See if you wanted some lunch. She's making apple butter sandwiches.”

Max wasted no time in picking back up his pruning shears. Like he was already bored of Aaron's presence. “Nah. I'm good. I been drinkin' outta the hose.”

That was it. Aaron decided he liked Max right then. Max who just didn't give a shit. He didn't meet many people like that. Between the kids in his classes and the people his parents had over, everyone gave an abundance of shits. About everything. Politics, grades, him and his life choices. Money. He was tired of it.

So he started walking to Max's place after finishing his homework, or his morning chores, or filing at his father's office. Max's family rented three lots at the trailer park down by the creek not far from Aaron's house. Just down the road, or if you were a 17 year old boy, you didn't mind wading through the creek and wandering through the field until you reached the orchard. They'd worn their own path that snaked between the trees over the last few months. That period of time when you meet someone new and you become sort of addicted to their presence in your life and feel dull and gray without them. Aaron wandered through that orchard more over the summer than he had in his entire life.

He'd never even set foot in the trailer park and he'd lived at its border for his entire existence. Max's dad moved them around a lot, his mother having left them when he was a baby because she didn't want to get married and they'd conceived out of wedlock. Max's dad was a traveling preacher, they would pitch up in a town that needed someone to fill in at just about any church until they found someone permanent and she'd wandered off into the mist leaving him with a screaming baby in his arms. That was the way Max always pictured it anyway. Reality was far less dramatic. She told his father right away that she would carry the baby to term and she loved them both very much but she simply wasn't ready for this and off she went. He never held it against her. It was God's will.

Max dreamed of things he would never experience. He talked about things like dragonfruit with stars in his eyes and if you closed your eyes and listened to him ramble on and on about Woodstock in '69 you might really believe he'd been there. He could sing every word to every song by The Mamas and Papas and The Beastie Boys and you would never know which one he preferred. He just loved...everything.

Aaron looked at him and knew he wasn't meant to be around forever. He remembered someone talking about James Dean once and saying live fast die young. You just got those feelings about people. They had no patience, didn't want to wait until they were 80 to see or do something they could grasp at 16. But he was so fucking present now that it didn't matter that much. Aaron could look into his own future, as hopeless as he felt some days, and see a suit and a tie and maybe even a family if he was having a good day. He worried over his future all the time. But he couldn't read Max.

Max was just...now. Max was not future and that saddened him deeply though he tried not to let it.

“I think my dad's cheating on my mom...” Aaron drawled, adjusting his hips against the crispy already overcooked grass and squinted into the blue sky. Fluffy clouds moved overhead and if he was with Sean right now, they might try to find shapes but Aaron was always lying...just making shit up...he'd lost the ability to see shapes. “It's a fluffy cloud, and look there is another...cloud...” Max could see them. Just ten minutes prior he'd said he'd seen people having sex. Aaron didn't bother to open his eyes for that one. It was either the truth but it was real people in a window (not clouds) or it was a lie and Max would make fun of him for wanting to look. Either way, he feigned disinterest.

“You just figuring this out? You really ain't no Sherlock Holmes...”

“No, I just...I've been thinking about it a while and I think I wanna see for myself.” He hoisted himself up on his elbows and turned his head toward Max, squinting into the harsh afternoon sunlight. “Would you come with me?”

“Where?”

“I dunno. Out. Following him I guess. He pretends like he's working, says he has all these client meetings, but he's lying...I do his filing, it's almost nothing right now. He doesn't have any active cases. So where's he going?”

Max sat upright and regarded Aaron more seriously than he ever had. Wisdom was about to spill out from between those perfect peach lips and Aaron wasn't sure he wanted to hear it. “And no matter what you find...you're okay with it? Cos here's the thing...I seen plenty of people my dad's had in his office cryin' over finding out something awful they weren't prepared for. Infidelity bein' the least troubling of the things, Aaron. You get me? All's I'm sayin' is that you think one thing but you might find out somethin' else and you gotta be ready for anything...”

Aaron huffed and folded his arms over his chest, curling around himself like there was a chill in the air suddenly. He couldn't imagine what he'd find out that could be worse than his father being in love with someone that wasn't his mom. It would be the ultimate sin from a man who did little else. “I don't care. I want to know.”

“What'll you do with the information once you have it?”

“I don't know Max. Confront him? Punch his lights out? Tell my mom? I don't fucking know I just...I need to know what he's doing.”

“Your mom's no dummy. If he's steppin' out on her, I guarantee she knows. But okay. I'm in.”

Aaron reached out and punched him square in the shoulder, rolling his eyes. He didn't appreciate the grilling when he knew damn well that Max was going to do it anyway. It was one of those things he might come to regret later, in fact he was sure of it, but he pushed it out of his mind right away. They were going to follow his dad in the morning and see what he was really up to. What else did they have to do with their long summer days? They needed something to keep them entertained.

He would regret every single one of those misguided thoughts.

The first blow to their plan came when they couldn't wrangle Haley or Jessica into their mission, at least not in the morning. Jessica was doing some summer school class credit so she could lead the Model UN group the next year...Haley had been both shocked and appalled that Jessica even wanted to do that, let alone be so motivated to ruin her summer over it. She had a few history and geography things to nail down before she could rule that club with an iron fist. She'd also toyed with running for student office...just for shits and giggles. A campaign would give her something to do. Posters to make and speeches to write. “Vote Brooks for Less Books” was her working slogan...Haley called her sister a moron. “You're the smartest kid in your entire class and you act like such an airhead.” Jessica only smiled at that. So, she was out, but her afternoon was free and she was very interested in helping them sleuth around town even if she was more than a little worried about how Aaron would handle any of the possible outcomes. She already had feelings about what they'd find and it wasn't at all what Aaron was suspicious of. She'd been keeping some secrets over the last few months.

Haley flat out said no. “I won't spy on your father no matter how gross he's being.” She also had a date with her boyfriend Adam and the public pool. She was positively booked up. “Be careful though, okay? Don't get hurt.”

Following the senior Hotchner around town turned out to be relatively easy. He wasn't hiding. What was worse, the longer the day dragged on, the more apparent it was that a mistress wasn't what he was hiding. It was something far more sinister, and Max's words rang painfully in Aaron's ears as he watched his father stride out into the afternoon sunlight and into his vehicle. The sign on the building had a few names on it, gold lettering against black iron. Reading it sent chills up Aaron's spine.

The building was a small ramshackle office building that housed a tax lawyer, a small dentist's office and an oncologist. Aaron knew without having to ask which office his father was coming from. By the looks of it, and the way he stepped back a little to give Aaron some space, Max did too. The moment was volatile and felt nearly endless until finally Aaron stepped back and began walking quickly the direction his father's car had gone in. He was only a few blocks away at a stop light. Aaron was fast, he could catch him if he wanted to. Pound on that passenger window, bang his fists and rage at him. If he wanted to.

“No, Aaron, don't!”

“He's DYING and he didn't even TELL US.”

His rage was palpable, and Max reached out to stop him, to tug at the back of his sweat soakded t-shirt. He might have ripped it if he hadn't let it go. “Aaron, now isn't the time! Please come back!”

Aaron did finally stop when his father's car disappeared down some side street, and then he just stood there like a statue. Lost in shred of time. Flickering in and out of consciousness. He thought he might pass out, or run away. Either one was a viable option and not much existed in between. “Come on, let's go back to my place. It's too fuckin' hot, we can get in the creek and I think I got some hot dogs in my fridge...we can find some good sticks and roast 'em.”

“I'm not eating meat right now,” Jessica said, appearing out of nowhere. Like she always did.

Max laughed. “Protest?”

Jessica shrugged. “Sure.” She was forever trying new things, eager to figure herself out now before any of it really mattered. Going meatless during the school year had been hard, she liked the school meatloaf days, but in summer it was easier. She could test it out. Giving up hot dogs was easy. “So what's the scoop? Any dirty little secrets unearthed?”

All the color drained from Max's face and he shot her a glare that told her to shut the fuck up immediately. “What?” she asked, furrowing her brow. Subtlety was not in her wheelhouse. The sun caught her curly lion's mane at just the right angle and nearly blinded Max with its brightness. Couldn't be a halo, this chick was no angel. They'd been skinny dipping at their favorite little watering hole enough times to know that. She was the only girl in their grade with a tattoo.

“We can talk at my place, not here. Come on.”

Her demeanor remained that same incredulous half-smiling sarcastic way she always had, and then when the soft slump of Aaron's shoulders and his silence finally struck her she changed immediately. Everything about her softened and she approached him, placing one hand on his forearm gently and looking up at him. “Aaron?”

“There isn't another woman. He's sick, Jess. Really sick...”

“Oh...oh Aaron...”

They didn't speak for the entire walk back to Max's place. It wasn't a slow walk, they sort of fell in line with whatever pace Aaron chose. He was leading them, like always. He was a natural leader, even if he lacked the confidence sometimes to believe it. When they got back, Aaron kicked out of his sneakers and walked into the water without a word. He could think better with the rush of the creek against his knees. It was ice cold, so cold his skin burned. It was like his body shut down, all sensory input stopped and it was just his mind left running the show.

“Is he okay?” Jess asked, and Max shrugged helplessly. She didn't think she'd ever seen him so helpless and yeah...they hadn't known eachother long but she knew him. She knew him very well. He always had something smart to say. He was the only kid she knew who had spent time in Morocco, Uganda, Venezuela...you name it, he'd been there. When his father wasn't finding jobs at needy churches he was volunteering his family for mission trips that required a lot of shots and a lot of language lessons in order to undertake. Max knew things.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing.”

“Well...that's bad...” she said quietly, until she finally couldn't take it anymore and kicked her own shoes off with a little puffing sound. If he wasn't going to talk and he wasn't going to send her any telepathic messages, she'd have to just go stand next to him and hope for the best. Max followed her lead, as he so often did. Jess could probably get him to go anywhere or do anything. He was infatuated with her absurdity and never wanted to miss a single minute of the insanity that flew out of her mouth. If that meant wandering out into the ice cold creek so be it.

“Aaron...” she said as they flanked him, pressed in on him from both sides. “Talk to us.”

“Nothing to say.” He said it so quietly it almost got lost on the rush of the current. Stolen by the crickets coming out to let them know that day was fading. Soon the symphony of frogs would begin from somewhere up in the woods that butted up to Aaron's house on the other side, they could traipse through the creek and eventually find where the chorus began. Converge on their frog friends and sing along. “I don't even care.”

“Looks like you care an awful lot...” Jess said softly and it was immediately the wrong thing. He turned to her with that desperate look on his face and sparks ignited in his honey eyes. “I'm sorry. That's not...I just meant that I'm here for you. You know...if you do care.”

“Thanks.” That was it. He didn't need to be told she was there, she never left his side. She was always finding ways to be in his space. Babysitting Sean was her newest venture. She got paid to babysit Sean but she probably thought she was babysitting him too. And that thought struck a chord. “Jess...did you know?”

She pursed her lips and shifted her feet on the stones, trying to find a comfortable place to stand with bare feet on jagged slippery rocks. This was a question she didn't want to answer. The problem was that there was no straight answer. He'd left a pill bottle on the kitchen counter a few nights back when she was watching Sean. Anti-nausea medication was all it was, nothing damning, but even to her that seemed strange. She'd ignored it and continued making the little tinfoil JiffyPop popcorn for Sean and forced the concern out of her mind. Aaron's father didn't want her sympathy and neither would Aaron. Anti-nausea medication could be for anything, but she'd watched three of her four grandparents wither away under cancer's attack and somehow in all the places that mattered she knew. “Jess?”

She slipped her hand inside of his and squeezed. “I'm sorry Aaron.”

“Don't be. He's an asshole.”

The words were at war with his demeanor and all at once his knees were giving out while he tried to drag himself back to the shore, just far enough that he could collapse there in the rocky mud and hug the earth to him. “He's an asshole.” His voice was less sure this time. Timid, afraid, small. He stayed hunched there for minutes while Jess and Max stood back, afraid to approach. He'd become a wounded animal. Just as likely to bite as he was to let you near.

It was Max that dared move first. Jess knew she was swimming in the putrid sea of betrayal, drowning there. He would see reason soon enough but that was a feeling for later, much later, and she knew better than to press him. You couldn't force Aaron Hotchner to do anything he didn't want to do. She whispered to Max that she was going to go, she was on dinner duty tonight anyway...no hot dogs roasted on an open spit for her. Probably sloppy joes or hamburger helper, her mom was no gourmet and she didn't keep much in the way of good ingredients on hand. And yeah, she was a shitty vegetarian. Check that one off the list.

Max walked past Aaron, dragging one hand along his back, fingers playing against the ridges of Aaron's spine. And then he was gone, whipping his pocket knife out to cut a few green twigs off of nearby bushes and skinning them while Aaron cried into the bank of their endless stream. At least Max hoped he was crying. If it wasn't crying, he didn't have a clue what it could be. Shoulders shaking, gasping breath, his back hunching and muscles coiled. Whatever it was, Aaron didn't want an audience.

While Aaron sat there, curled around himself, lost deep inside somewhere no one could follow, Max set to fixing their broken fire pit. It would break again when too many beers meant drunk teenagers kicking rocks in with exuberance. For now, he just needed it to hug the fire tight so he pressed the renegade rocks back into place until they stuck.

The smell of hot dogs, the cheap and salty red ones sold at the butcher's shop, was intoxicating. There was a sound, that crackle and pop of thin skin heated to its absolute limit and then the sizzle of grease jumping into the fire. That grabbed Aaron's attention and pulled him toward Max until he was sitting in the dirt against Max's leg, his cheek resting wearily against Max's thigh.

“I hate him.”

“I know.”

“I mean it. I hate him. I know he cheats on my mom...and what he does to us...he deserves it. But why...” he couldn't even finish it. Why do I care? Why am I so damn upset? Why can't I breathe? Max knew all of these things, and he reached down deep into the well his father had filled with wisdom far beyond his years. Reached into the well that the world had left in his belly and found exactly the right words.

“Because he's your father. Your parents bring you into the world, and they're sort of like your tether...as long as they're kicking around...kicking you around...you're not really ever gonna be alone. Then they take off, go to meet Saint Peter and you really know what it is to be alone. You know? They're up there in heaven or they're frying in the lake of fire but they're not here. No one will ever know you like they do.”

Aaron sniffled, and finally let out the tears that had been burning just beneath the surface disguised as anger and panic. “Even if they're shitheads, Aaron. You're allowed to be upset that he's sick, and you're allowed to hate him anyway.”

“Why does everything have to be so complicated?”

At that, Max laughed and patted him on the shoulder with one hand. Aaron turned his head and saw a stick waiting for him to grab with a perfectly roasted and flaming hot dog hanging dangerously off of the end. One wrong move and that sausage was going into the fire. He brought the flaming meat closer and blew it out, closed his eyes and sighed. The sigh came with more tears and no more words.

“That's not complicated. Just lips and assholes stuffed into some stomach lining, man. Ain't nothing complicated about that.”

#aaron hotchner #jessica brooks #original male character #criminal minds #teen hotch #bad things happen bingo #masterwords does bad things bingo

[solomons-finest-rum]

Please rank the Hardy characters on how much you would or wouldn’t trust them to put together a holiday meal?

Oh haha 😆 this is a very difficult question, namely because my first thought about them would be “Stay away from the stove, for the love of all that is good and holy, please get out of my kitchen!” 😄

But since I know it’s now Thanksgiving (or close to it?) and Christmas is coming, it’s really fun to figure out all the Hardys and their disastrous ways around the kitchen:

— Alfie, I suppose, could be somewhat trusted with minding the oven. I can imagine him sitting in the kitchen with his novel, glaring at the roast from time to time as if he tried to force it to be done already by the sheer power of his annoyance. My headcanon is that Alfie doesn’t cook or bake, I see him as a gangster that’s very clever in his “madness”, enough to fool everyone else at least.

— I think Eames could be persuaded to help you around the kitchen, but the condition on that is he first needs to care about you enough to consider it. He seems like the kind of man who has about 3 recipes practiced to perfection, and since he doesn’t get too close to anybody that 3 is just enough to leave a good impression. The trouble starts I guess when he tries something he knows nothing about, but pretends he does, and ends up spilling cranberry mush all over your kitchen.

— Like I always say, Leo is a sweetheart and would jump into the fire if you asked him to. But he can’t cook. He’s a soldier and the peak of his abilities is opening a can in any circumstances. Which, don’t get me wrong, while impressive and technically required, it still would not persuade me to leave him alone in the kitchen. Leo would be an incredible assistant chef, though.

— Forrest is somewhat of a wild card. I can’t quite figure that bit out, I mean about him and cooking. He’s definitely a family man and I do see him taking care of his younger siblings, which at some point would require feeding. One thing about him is, Forrest would not lie to you. If he said he would do the cooking, I could be persuaded to leave him alone with the stove.

— The Krays are mummy’s boys. Through and through. They don’t even make their own tea. I wouldn’t trust them with the kettle, knives or matches.

— James Delaney would not-so-accidentally summon something evil that would possess your kitchen for the next hundred years or so. One silver lining—you never have to host Christmas again! 😁

#Thank you for this ask as always they are a joy #tom hardy #ask #moots 💗

[macgyvertape]

wwdits s4 thoughts (spoilers)

I didn’t start till October so I knew some stuff through my dash, very glad I saw the post where the interviewers said Guillermo and Nador wouldn’t get together to set my expectations after OFMD

The djinn is a really fun character

Glad The Guide is more of a main character the series needed another female character.

Marhwa is one of the most sympathetic characters in the show, peak she deserves better than this dude

I saw that Guillermo embezzles from the club in a LOT of posts because it was cute to see him take care of his parents. But it’s still heavily implied from this early ep.

The season is really clear in setting up each character's motivation and character arc.

Nadja’s arc has been my favorite. Lmao to the way she said  “kill them all” to solve her workers unionizing.

Lazlo’s struggles of fatherhood where he’s a bad dad in different ways has been my least favorite. But then again I don’t want kids so I’m not interested in parenting subplots.

Guillermo FaceTiming someone twice is notable, only people he pays this much attention to outside of the vamps and family is a potential victim. But this is a very different vibe

Nador vs Guillermo fight is even more tense and charged than last season. Even after rewatching I'm confused at what parts of the fight they were staging for escape versus actually into beating the other

Nadja union busting through narcotic bribery, Nadja’s always been a fuck you got mine "girlboss", especially when her power is being challenged. Nice that it didn't work, workers unite!

The parent interview was just too much cringe comedy for me

Love Guillermo’s jewel tone jacket outfit. Hope there's a post that points out all the designer items

Wedding episode had an ad that I noted down since I was watching ad-free. Clever trick it was for the go flip yourself tv show in universe.

Everyone looks so nice in their wedding outfits. Costuming in this show has always been great and its easy to overlook it

I was trying to pin why Guillermo seems so different this season, and I really think it is that he found confidence and is less desperate . Other characters are respecting him more too.

Nandor made peak cursed wish with “like the same things I like” I was confused until the end of the season if he immediately wasted 2/3 wishes instead of fixing that wish since he obviously seemed so uncomfortable with it

“Because I’m gay” holy shit! Such an emotional moment, yeah the family always knew but still it’s such an impactful moment. The show has had a range of queer characters but it's often more played for laughs while this is more heartfelt. I'm old enough it's also a brief moment of "wow things have come so far"

Lmao at the cliche home renovation episode, I love when a tv show adopts the visual style of another genre of show (like Leverage "The office job"). I deeply enjoy home renovation shows, good or bad they're only reality tv I enjoy. I think it's my favorite episode in the show, and I genuinely wasn't expecting Simon the Devious.

Maybe because I am watching these all at once that the heavy parody parts of each episode stick out. Guillermo being the overworked friend planning the wedding is a romcom classing. The Baron doing the cliche makeover montage.

Wow so Freddie gave the business card as if he's trying to buy valuable antiques from someone he thinks is senile, and Nador is fine cheating and being a home wrecker to meet up. hmm

Wait Marhwa ends that episode overwritten and basically dead in body and mind?! Freddie is a cheater! I feel really bad for Guillermo, ESH but him

Holy shit sunrise and sunset the song from Fiddler. As a theater nerd I know this ep is going to be sad also wow Matt berry can sing

Colin feeding on anger makes sense, I though he was being annoying at times but chalked that up to finding all kids annoying, but you can farm a lot of anger as an annoying kid.

Classic that Nadja got so proud her arrogance led to the club's downfall. Very short-sighted she didn't take the money out before the arson for insurance fraud.

Colin back to himself with no memory nothing changed. Hmm did the experience of being a parent change Lazlo?

Guillermo spent a year of his life devoted to things that as he put it didnt change. The reasons he gave in first episode for not walking out didn't amount to anything in the end

GUILLERMO BUYING HIS WAY INTO VAMPRIISM FUCK YEAH. he's really changed since season 1. The chorus ending is pretty great.

I’d rate it 2nd best season behind last season, major points lost because I liked Marhwa and I’m sad what happens to her. I'm not judging Nandor's actions this season as morally "worse" than the others, but being shitty to your SO is more relatable and personal.

Wow for the first time I’m interested in fanfic for this show starting with “different choices canon divergence” au and “picks up right where season ended” since next season will prob start with a timeskip.

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits #wwdits spoilers #mac watches tv

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Tempo Strategies

So there’s a really weird paradox that shows up in games with any kind of strategy, particularly if advancement is one of the pillars of the gameplay:

If your opponent is attempting advancement, the rock to their scissors in the counter-strategy circle is to rush them down.

In Dominion this might mean buying out a third stack to end the game before the enemy’s engine gets going full-tilt, or in certain games might mean focusing on attack cards. In League of Legends it means harassing the enemy ADC so they never have enough gold to buy the items that let them pop off. In Starcraft it means an early strike to punish the enemy for trying to drop all their gas on upgrades instead of troops. In Magic or Hearthstone it means running a deck that tries to kill in the first five turns or so.

The paradox is that - to me at least - the rushdown strategy just feels kind of shitty.

Maybe this is a subjective thing and paradox is the wrong word? I don’t know. What I’m trying to express is that the development of resources - the flourishing of a build - reads to me as an inherent good, and a fundamental part of why we play. Which means rushdown strategies always feel like preventing someone from playing the game. It feels like stopping the game early, which is in mechanical terms not true; mechanically the game is designed to end when one player’s hp reaches 0 or when the third stack is bought out or when the base explodes. That’s the designed true end of the game and whenever that happens it was proper. If it’s happening too early there might be tweaks to units or cards to make rushdown weaker against a stalwart defense.

It doesn’t help that in multiplayer settings it feels like bullying. In fact that’s generally what it’s called in-game - bullying your lane opponent. It has a different (much less negative) connotation in games; It just means “pressuring,” really, not throwing slurs at them in chat or emoting rudely over their corpse. And since you’re on opposing teams it’s not like you’re supposed to be cooperating. But again, it hits this feeling of stopping someone from experiencing the game as it was meant to be played. Their deck doesn’t get to perform its cool combo. Their champion doesn’t turn into a whirlwind of death. Their army of battlecruisers doesn’t get to sweep across the map.

Part of what I like about Dominion is how poorly it allows for rushdown, I think. The game almost always ends with a comparison of engine vs engine, with one of the engines having come to fruition a little earlier than the other, and if the other didn’t quite get going that’s usually down to either luck or its designer (that is, the player who was trying to set it up).

The other piece of this is the premeditation in a lot of these games. You have to build your deck to try and stop the enemy up short, in Magic and its ilk. You’ve set up your strategy on rock, and if they’re playing paper instead of scissors you’re in for a rough time from the start. The same is true of some champions in LoL, who don’t scale well and are better-served trying to win the game before it runs long or else doing all they can to feed power into their own scaling champion.

A fortunate part of these is that they aren’t binary (trinary I guess, since this is a rock-paper-scissors analogy). They’re on a sliding scale between these points and rare is the champion or deck that focuses so totally on one point that it doesn’t do SOMETHING toward the other points. In fact it’s nearly impossible; The most aggressive M:tG deck I know of - Sligh from the Tempest block - still had creatures that were capable of blocking (though I don’t think I ever saw it happen), and spells that were capable of killing enemy creatures (which it did sometimes but only to keep those creatures from blocking its own). To be truly 100% aggro it’d have to have creatures that could only attack and spells that could only damage the enemy player and that would be stupid; Those limits while “more pure” would actually make it worse at aggro.

I don’t know that there’s a solution to this. Dominion’s route is fun for me but I’m also aware that the cost for that avoidance of the trinary of strategies was direct interplay between the players. Dominion often feels like playing a solo game at the same table and being told at the end which of you did the solo game the best. And if development of resources is to be a valid strategy its validity is tied to the possibility that attempting the strategy won’t work. For that to be possible there has to be a counter to it, and the counter has to be baked into the list of options.

[rsmrymnt-tea]

Loved Satan's card specifically because of the thoughts I am having of mc coming to save him at the very last moment and they just recite his words just before he blacks out knowing that he's not only in good hands but the only hands he's willing to fall into and-🥺

Omgomgomg yES!! A turn of events he might not have expected—the last thing he sees before he slips into unconsciousness is MC giving their all to protect him, possibly unleashing their full power in a burst of desperation!! Living for this fantasy!!

And then the aftermath… Either MC waiting by his side as he lays on a cot in the infirmary, hurt but happy he’s okay. Or the both of them next to each other, badly injured, but relieved that the other is fine. MC managed to last long enough to fend the last of the enemy being blacking out themself, and the both of them are in for a long recovery but are hailed heroes—

Idk I’m also so aaaaaAAAAAA in my thoughts about this!!

#sevensins-stuff!! ✨ #chat & colloquy #yelling #the card ended up feeding me just enough to power me for at least a week

[shurisneakers]

harmless (xiii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, smidge of angst, guns, little bit of violence, obnoxious flirting, and kidnapping lol

Word count: 6.2k

A/N: welcome to chaos week >:) this is the first of three updates coming out this week (if i can finish the last one in time).  big thank you to my love @no-shit-sherl0ck for the kidnaped!reader idea, and that one anon who suggested the inator that’s used here. i know you wanted to see it in a zoo but i couldn’t really figure out a way to use that so i referenced it a bunch in previous chapters. oh and also @ginevranights​ for this specific imagery 

Previous Part  || Series Masterlist

Who the fuck kidnaps a villain in this day and age?

Saturday started normally enough.

Nat kicked Bucky’s ass in training, evening the score to 120 and 120. He blames it on the lack of sleep. She tells him that it’s his fault he stayed up late to binge watch 911 Lone Star.

He still thinks it was worth it.

The team’s sunshines and rainbows that morning. Someone had cooked up a batch of pancakes and fresh orange juice. Someone else burnt the bacon but left to feed his dog before anyone could complain.

Nat opened up the newspaper. Different sections went to different people until Bucky got stuck with the entertainment section. Fun, considering that he doesn’t even recognise half the names. He’d have to pretend to be interested until the next rotation.

He watches the orange juice levitate in front of him from the corner of his eye and just assumes that Wanda’s getting a refill even though she could have just asked him to pass it. He smells the next batch of bacon burning and figures that Clint is back.

Sam’s beside him, annoying him about how long it takes for him to read about which new celebrity relationship just ended and Bucky retaliates by reading even slower. Fuck you.

He’s on his second stack of pancakes absolutely drenched in maple syrup when the doors to the elevator open and Marie steps out, laptop in her hand.

An instant chorus of hello’s and invitations to have some charred bacon resound through the table. She politely declines them with a small smile, instead opening her laptop and placing it in front of Bucky without further ado. 

He looks at her questioningly, slowly swallowing whatever was in his mouth.

“An email for you.” She tuts her head towards it. “It has a video attachment of your friend.”

Bucky has plans to not watch the video in front of everyone, given that the content could range anywhere from you reading out fanfiction about him to a deep-fake of him singing a Whitney Houston song.

Both of which you have done before and would do again, without any hesitation.

“Aren’t you gonna watch it?” Wanda asks from across the table.

He slowly shakes his head no, cutting his stack into smaller pieces.

“If what’s in it is real, it’s important,” Marie stresses.

“What’s in it?” he inquires instead, hoping that the team would stop staring at him. If Marie was implying strongly that he needed to watch then something was wrong.

“Just watch it, man.” Sam’s statement has everyone agreeing with him. Bucky can’t refuse now, and if the team makes fun of him for the next month about how he looks good belting Greatest Love of All, he’s going to personally assassinate you.

He clicks on the email, noticing it came from a throwaway address. Probably untraceable, if the cards are played right. 

The video opens to grainy footage, which is stupid considering modern technological advancements. If this is one more of your stupid LARPing sessions, it could definitely wait till after lunch. 

But, he instantly recognises your silhouette strapped to a chair and suddenly the room feels very cold around him. His hand automatically clutches onto a bead from the bracelet you gave him that still remained tied to his left arm more often than not.

“Speak,” someone commands off camera.

“About what?” You sound annoyed, exasperated even.

“Why you’re here.”

“I’m here because you have unaddressed feelings of childhood insecurity.”

“I warned you to take this seriously.”

Bucky’s eyes widen slightly but his body relaxes the minute he reads the situation. 

The team’s crowded around him, he can feel it. His attention remains on the screen in front of him.

“Who even are you sending this to?” You don’t sound the least bit threatened. “My roommate’s not at home but my cat is and I don’t think she’d care.”

”You’ve made a complete joke out of villains everywhere. Fraternising with the enemies, the Avengers,” he spits the name with so much vitriol. “You’ve erased what it’s like to be truly evil. Turned us into a laughing stock.”

“If it takes one person to undermine your whole movement then maybe it wasn’t strong enough to begin with.” You look at someone outside the lens, face scrunching in distaste. “Also your costume’s ugly.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., can you trace this voice?” Bucky asks, receiving an immediate confirmation. “Figure out who it is.”

“On it.”

“Tell them. Tell them we are a serious threat and are to be feared.”

"No,” you say resolutely. “You’re an overgrown manchild. Go watch Teletubbies or something.”

“She does not give a shit,” Clint marvels at the situation, a piece of half eaten burnt toast between his fingers.

You didn’t. And if he knew you in the slightest, which he prided himself on at this point, you already had six different ways of getting out of there.

“She knows she’s going to be fine,” Bucky murmurs, returning back to take a bite of his pancakes. “She’s probably still there just to irritate him.”

He zeroes in on your wrist to see if the teleportation watch was still there but no, your wrists are bare. Guess you forgot.

“You have to.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s how a real villain does it.”

“A real villain- what are you, gatekeeping the villain community?” You scoff. “You sound like a fuckin’ incel.”

“Just send them a message,” the guy bellows, hitting a table.

“She’s going to frustrate them to death.” An accurate observation, Sam.

“Okay, jeez, fine.”

Bucky just knows that you rolled your eyes at that moment.

He had faith in you, or in your abilities at the very least. While every wisecrack could possibly inch you closer towards harm, you probably wouldn’t be making them unless you felt completely secure in your situation.

“Help, I’m totally kidnapped and in danger. Save me because I can’t do it myself. This man is too powerful and strong and sooo scary.”

“Do you think she has a strategy?”

“Definitely.”

“You’re not worried, James?” Wanda asks curiously. “I thought she was your friend.”

“She is my friend.” He reaches over to take the jug of orange from across the table. “That’s why I’m not worried.”

“Are you going to fight the Avengers?” you interrupt his endless tirade. “Because that’s a stupid plan. You get how that’s a stupid plan, right?”

“Let them come. I’m prepared.”

“With what? A stick you found outside? A Nerf gun? Man, you’ve tied my hands with fuckin’ zip ties, you can’t be serious-”

“Shut up,” he roared and the stand shakes slightly from where he stamps his feet. “Our army is enough.”

“Wow,” you exhale. “I wish I had your confidence, I really do. I want to study you under a microscope.”

“I have reinforcements.” It sounds like he turns to the camera to address it directly. “This is a warning. Your friends have an hour to find you or things are gonna turn ugly. This is what real evil looks like.”

“Evil dresses in a dollar store Speedo, apparently.” The man pays you no heed, instead picking up the camera. “Hey, sarge, if you’re watching this, don’t bother. I’m fine, it’s not even the real me-”

The camera cuts to black.

“When was this video sent?” Nat looks at Marie, eyebrows drawn together.

“About ten minutes ago.”

Bucky clicks out of the email, determined to get at least half his breakfast in him before he left to see what’s up with your situation. A notification pops up immediately.

[email protected] just sent you an email.

A video attachment.

“We got another one,” Bucky informs the team, drawing their attention back to the screen from the informal conversation that had erupted between them about what they could do.

This time, there’s a subject line included.

Attack on the Clone.

"Ain’t that a Star Wars movie?" he asks, craning his neck to look at Clint.

"That's Attack of the Clones," Sam corrects. "Probably autocorrect."

Bucky narrowed his eyes in suspicion at him, jaw sliding outward before falling back into place. Enough times had Sam called him Fucky in the group chat and gotten away with it for him not to be wary.

“Or a code,” Wanda suggests, too many crime thrillers read and podcasts listened in her spare time. She occasionally brought them over to Self Care Saturday, introducing him to the world of true crime as a bit of light content while they snacked on chocolate chip cookies he baked. “Like the Zodiac.”

“For what?” Bucky peers over at her.

“All I remember from that movie is them rolling around a field together,” Clint mutters. “Maybe that’s how you’re supposed to save her.”

“I’m not saving anyone. Look at her, she’s fine.” Is he the only one who saw it?

When he’s met with skeptical looks and no other useful suggestions, he presses play on the video.

This time it's clearer footage. It hardly takes him a second to ascertain where it was.

"That's her lair." It showed the pathway leading up to the flat concrete building, exactly where the intercom should be.

There was a black Sedan parked haphazardly outside, engine still on judging by the sound of the radio blasting an AC/DC song. 

Within a few seconds, someone drags you from the entrance of the lair to the car, despite your very clear protests and opposition, shoving you inside before it takes off in full speed, tires screeching. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., track the car from that video. Check all the CCTV and surveillance footage from around the area that you can find," Bucky commands, taking a sip of orange juice.  

"Why would they send us that?" Clint pipes up. "They make their email untraceable but send us a video of the fuckin' abduction itself?"

"I don't know." Bucky shakes his head, setting his glass down. "She probably convinced them to."

It was an unusual scenario, he realised that. But his eyebrows lower in contemplation, his lip caged between his lip before a thought suddenly occurs to him. A laugh in disbelief almost escapes his throat ad he pushes it down with some freshly cut strawberries. 

"And they listened?"

"I don't think you realise how annoying she can be." He knows, though. He knows. "Bet they regret it, though. I should tell them to keep her for a little longer."

"Voice recognition registers voice to someone named Chad, better known by his alias Soul Crusher. Surveillance footage places the car about thirty minutes away. Exact location sent to your phone GPS."

Soul Crusher. That was worse than Dr. Strange.

"I can make that fifteen." Bucky shrugs, setting down his fork and knife. If his hunch is right, the team didn’t really have to get involved. “See you guys later.”

“Do you want any of us coming with you?” Wanda gestures to the crowd at hand.

“I got it.” He pushes away from the table, depositing his plate in the sink, dropping an extra piece of bacon on the ground for Clint’s dog. “She’ll be alright.”

They watch him trail out of the room briskly, heading up to his room to change.

“Is it just me or is he too casual about this?” Clint continues staring long after he leaves.

“Both of them are weirdos.” Nat pulls open the newspaper again, going back to the sport’s section. “Who knows what goes in their heads.”

“Can confirm that not a lot goes on in his.”

Without Bucky to retaliate or grumble, a Steve walking into the room, sweaty and shiny after training becomes the new subject of jokes that morning.

__

For the first time in months, he’s had to bring a weapon or two along with him. Two revolvers and a couple of knives kept out of plain view. He wouldn’t need more than that anyway.

True to his word, it takes only fifteen minutes to get there, thirteen if he didn’t stop for the chain of ducks that crossed the street.

He’s also dressed in a little more leather than he usually reserves for your meetings. A jacket that brings to act as a windbreaker and tightly laced up combat boots make him look like he either stepped off a runway, or more menacing than usual depending on who was looking.

The GPS points him to an old warehouse near a more subdued part of the city. It was abandoned by the looks of it, and had been for a while judging by the lack of upkeep. Prime real estate.

He pulls off his helmet, hanging it on the handlebar along with his backpack before kicking the stand into place. The bike’s a few metres away just in case they decide to blow something up.

Bucky looks up at the warehouse, assessing the most damage he could do to it if at all it was needed. That thing could barely stand on its own, a grenade would absolutely decimate it. That wasn’t good news for you.

He sighs once before putting on his death glare, straightening out his shoulders into a stature that screams stone-cold, and pushes the door open, gun raised.

A mini-army of people ranging from their early twenties to late thirties stood guard at the entrance, all with rifles pointed at him. He counts fifteen, maybe eighteen.

“Oh, hell no,” a voice erupts from the back, followed by the sound of his gun being thrown to the ground. “No one told me that he was coming.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, his death glare not shifting and Glock not lowering.

“I’m out.” The same guy raises his hands up to show he meant no harm, slowly brushing past Bucky as he squeezed out of the building.

“You got five seconds to leave before I shut this door,” Bucky gives the rest of them an ultimatum. Not like there was a point anyway. SHIELD was sending down some people to account for the one day rise in new morons. 

They all looked at each other, swallowing thickly before raising their weapons.

“I hope he’s giving you good insurance.” The second he finishes his sentence they all cry out in what sounds like a fucking war chant, launching themselves at him. 

______

“They’re here.” Someone presses his ear to the door as if the gunshots and screaming weren’t enough. 

“Brilliant. We’re ready.” Chad picks up the knife, running his finger along the sharp end. You try to see if you can use your Twitter-ordained powers of manifestation for a paper cut.

“How much are you asking them for?” You put forth a query instead, when it disappointingly doesn’t work.

“Asking who for what?” Chad stops his dumb intimidation tactic for a second. 

“You know,” you insist like it was obvious, “my ransom. How much did you ask them to pay?”

“We didn’t-” He looks around at the other people in the room for confirmation. “-we didn’t ask for any.”

“Because I’m invaluable?” Your head droops to the side in mock flattery. “Aw, you guys.”

“We didn’t think of it,” someone from the corner behind you speaks up, coming to the aid of their boss.

“Now that’s just rude.” You tut, shifting maybe an inch or two in your bounds to try and get more comfortable. “Leaving aside your lack of preparation, let’s just assume he bursts in here, desperate and ready to bargain. How much would you ask for?”

“Three million,” Chad says confidently, gathering a nod and sounds of agreement from everyone else.

“Are you serious?” Your jaw drops, a scoff escaping you. “That’s all?”

His self-assurance falters a little bit, you can see it under his 5 Minutes Craft mask.

“Three mill-” You stop mid-sentence. “With this wiring? Ridiculous. Make it ten, I demand it.”

“We’ll ask for fifteen mil,” Chad proposes, his teammates agreeing again, a little more delighted than last time.

“Ask for thirty, you coward,” you argued. “Thirty million and a jet.”

“You’re not worth that much.” The dipshit diagonal to you pipes up with his unwanted and, frankly, useless opinion.

“And you are?” You whip around the best you can. “Henchman number four?”

“Megedagik,” he informs, standing up a little taller now that he was given some importance. “It means ‘killer of many’.”

“Did you just say your name was Mega Dick?” 

“Megedagik,” he corrects.

You stare at him hard before turning away. “Alright, other than Mega Dick here, does anyo-”

A knife lands right next to your feet, driven at least an inch into the ground. You look up at the guy you managed to piss off within four sentences, his face now a beet red. 

“These are brand new, asshole,” you barked, shaking your shoes around. “You’re gonna pay if there’s even a scratch on it.”

“Permission to kill her?” Meg growls, casting a side eye at Chad.

The boss man looks at you thoughtfully, assessing the repercussions of what might happen. You raise an eyebrow.

“Slow and painful,” he settles. 

A small smirk makes its way onto your face. 

“Title of your sex tape,” you quip as the man in the corner storms towards you.

_____

It’s all a flurry, really. A bunch of inexperienced newcomers versus one of the most skilled assassins the world had ever seen? Ten minutes tops.

Bucky doesn’t do any serious damage. A couple of broken bones but only out of necessity, a lot of concussions, and maybe a bullet wound, or three, here and there. 

Most of the time he spends thinking about things that have absolutely nothing to do with what was going on. He forgot to take his laundry out of the machine. There was a biscotti recipe he had been procrastinating on trying. His succulents needed watering but he could do that once he was back. Was he wearing his good combat pants or was it the pair that had a hole in the pocket?

His left hand thrust outwards to shove someone away while he stuck his right hand into his pocket to check if it had frayed away. The person he pushed slams into a wall with a loud groan and no, his pants didn’t have a hole in them. 

He stops to take a breather, assess what was going on. There are bodies scattered all around, mostly writhing in pain from minor injuries. Someone very bravely stands up, hands posed in front of him in a regular fighting stance.

“You sure about this?” Bucky asks, reaching for one of the concealed knives he hadn’t had a chance of using yet. It twirls rather nimbly between his fingers for something so dangerous, the hilt finally landing in his palm for a sturdy grip.

The man takes one look at the knife before sitting right back down on the ground. 

“Good choice,” his voice drops to an octave lower than his self-esteem. He’s tired of this old routine but it works like a neat little party trick, often getting him the result he wanted. “Where?”

A few fingers point down the hall to the only room whose door was closed.

He makes sure to step over everyone who was lying along the way, ears tuned in to even the smallest of noises just in case one of them decided to attack him from the back. It doesn’t come.

He doesn’t bother creeping down the hallway. With all the ruckus that just went on outside, he’s pretty sure it’s obvious that they had an intruder. 

Bucky kicks in the large steel door with ease, given that it was barely hanging on its hinges. His gun’s raised, muscles tight, and senses on high alert for any immediate threats. 

It lands with a large thud, reverberating through the room. He’s reminded of your first meeting with him.

There’s a chair in the middle of the room with a person tied to it by a mixture of rope and tape. Others found themselves slithering around on the floor in a similar fashion, trying to get out of their bondages.

“Hey, James,” you call out, drawing his attention to you. You were sitting atop a table, legs swinging back and forth without a care in the world, a blade in your hand. 

“You okay?” He tucks the gun into his waistband when he realises that none of the henchmen are going to be going anywhere soon.

“All good.” You hop off the table with a little spring in your step. “Did you bring your bike? I need a ride back to the lair. I think I left the TV on when I was, you know, getting kidnapped.”

“You coulda teleported back home before all of this even happened.” Bucky does a quick assessment of your body to make sure there weren’t any bruises or anything of the sort. “Avoided the whole thing.”

“Don’t have the watch with me.” Odd, since he knows you consider it one of your essentials but it just fuels his theory further. “Besides, if I just quit before we started, they’d keep messing with me over and over again.”

“Do you want me to punch someone’s face in?” He glances around the room at the ones wiggling about on the floor like fucking worms. “I’d be happy to.”

“Nah, I got a few in myself.” You rotate your wrist, other hand still holding onto the knife. “You know what, maybe I’ll have another go.”

He simply makes a noise in acknowledgement before he places a hand on the hem of your shirt, gently reeling you back. “I think you fixed ‘em up real good. That’s enough for today.”

“Fine but only ‘cause you said so.” You huff, looking past him and at the weirdos on the ground. “You hear that? This man just saved your life. Say ‘thank you’.”

A muffled chorus of what sounded like appreciation echoed through the room. Bucky awkwardly looks around.

“Damn right.” You walk over to the guy in charge of the whole event, bending down to his level. “If you ever try to fuck with us again...”

You stare straight into his eyes, unblinking. You hold up the knife to his Adam’s apple. Chad doesn’t dare to move other than the thick swallow.

You raise your finger and flick him in the forehead. “Get a better costume.”

The corner of Bucky’s lip quirks upward.

“Let’s go, sarge,” you announce, standing upright again and making a motion to follow you. “D’you have an extra helmet I could use?”

“Yeah.” He had brought one along in his bag, assuming that you’d need one once he noticed the watch was missing in the footage.  

“Yay.”

The only storage space on his bike was under his seat and it’s just enough for an extra revolver. Clint asked him if it was his way of flirting with someone, give ‘em a quick spin around the city and then show them his gun. If looks could kill, Clint would be 7 feet under. 

“You sure you wanna ride it, though?” He cringes immediately when he realises what it sounds like, waiting for you to smack the innuendo in his face. “We could wait for SHIELD.”

“Don’t really have another choice, Bucky,” you say absentmindedly, strolling out the room as you tossed the knife behind you.

He frowns at your indifference but turns around for a second to look at Chad. The man in question looks back viciously, his grandeur from that morning basically deflated and left to die along with his reputation.

“Might wanna reconsider the name,” Bucky remarks, doing a quick sweep of the area once more. “Soul Crusher.”

He waits until both of you are outside the cell and the door is shut on the ringleader and his circus clowns, handlebar twisted out of place so that they don’t escape for the time being.

“One second,” he calls, touch gently lingering on your forearm to stop you without even thinking twice about it. A famously uncharacteristic move for him.

"Hm?” You don’t even look like you notice his action.

“You sure you’re good?” he asks seriously, actual concern slipping through the question. “Do you need medical assistance?”

“They couldn’t hurt me anyway.” There’s something strange about the way you say it, almost assuredly. “I’m good.”

“Okay,” he concedes, his hand darting back when he realises it was still on your arm. His eyebrows furrow when he realises how instinctively he had reached out in the first place.  He didn’t touch anyone, ever.

“What are we gonna do about them?” you inquire, stepping over someone on the floor to get to the exit.

“Marie told Agent Hill. They’re sending someone over.”

“They’re sending SHIELD for these wannabes?” Someone groans in protest from somewhere and you elect to ignore them. “Ew.”

“Just to make sure confidential information isn’t compromised in any way.” There’s a large bang that comes from the room they just left. Maybe one of them shot their teammate by accident. They were more than capable of doing it.

“I would never,” you exacted a little more solemnly, pushing the door open with your elbow to let the sunlight flood in.

“I know.” He doesn’t realise how dark it was in the warehouse until he steps out into the noon sun. “I’m pretty sure this is more about the fact that you were abducted.”

“For me?” The smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes the way he kinda likes. Something definitely felt off. “I love being class favourite.”

He doesn’t reply, a small grunt as he twists the handle of the warehouse door upwards, effectively jamming it. 

“Can I drive?” You bat your eyelashes at him innocently, disregarding the loud screaming that came from inside as those less injured probably regrouped for a last ditch attempt. 

“No,” he doesn’t hesitate in replying, handing you a helmet and buckling his own securely.

“But I just got kidnapped,” you complained, watching him swing a leg over the bike and straddle it. Okay then. 

“All the more reason for you not to drive right now.” He mentions for you to get on, squinting at the warehouse a few feet away.

“Fine, but next time I’m driving,” you grumble, climbing on the back.

“Do you even know how to?” His head is tilted to look at you from the corner of his eye, voice heavier on account of the obstruction on his face.

The door starts shaking violently and he knows for a fact that it won’t hold up for much longer. Some of those who he had knocked out probably had been shaken awake again for manpower. 

“I can learn.” You take a pause, mischief seeping into your next words. “You can teach me.”

“No.” He didn’t exactly practice what was considered safe, law abiding driving. He just got from one point to another and that’s all he cared about.

“Then I’ll do it myself.” You sound determined. “I’m going to leave a note for us in the lair.”

“You do that.” He revs the engine when something solid hits the metal door. As guessed, their usage of props to push it down faster was coming into play. “Now, can you hold on to something? We need to go.”

If only those idiots just realised that the windows covered by newspapers were right there, ready to be broken.

“Only if you promise to let me drive next time,” you say defiantly, drawing this whole ordeal out.

“Whatever,” he urges. “I promise. Now can we go?”

“Wait for it...” There’s a devilish smile on your face. “One.”

There’s a loud creak as the door finally gives way.

“Two.” The same people you left tied up in the room burst out, almost stumbling over each other in the process.

“Three,” he completes it on his own, not waiting for you to finish because God knows how long you’d stretch it out just for the drama.

Your excited screech of laughter as he narrowly misses a rod that gets thrown at him like a fucking javelin temporarily distracts him from the brain freeze he gets when your arms wind around his waist to hold yourself in place. 

There’s angry screaming and bullets that whiz past in an attempt to get him to stop but a swift turn around a corner, pulling the both of you out of their sight is enough to get rid of them. 

“We should get a few weapons and go back,” you yell over the wind rushing by, barely audible.

“You do that in your own free time,” he shouts in response, yanking you through narrower lanes and less popular streets.

“Maybe I will, you bore.” 

Still, you shut up for the rest of the ride, only grumbling when he stops the bike to tell you that no, you cannot let go just because you want to throw your hands in the air like in the movies.

You hop off when he finally pulls up on the street outside your lair, adrenaline still pumping through your veins. He waits patiently as you unbuckle the helmet, switching off the engine. 

“You gonna drop me off at my door too, now?” You snicker, fingers pulling off the helmet.

He looks at you for a second before dropping the kickstand into place and dismounting from the motorcycle.

“I was kidding.” You laugh, handing him your headgear that he shoves into his backpack. 

“You’re pretty capable of gettin’ abducted along the way.” An absurd notion, considering it’s a short path from the road to the door. 

“Oh, how chivalrous.” You let him tag along anyway, for his peace of mind. 

“My ma didn’t expect any less.” A couple of sharp lessons from Winifred Barnes and Bucky was nothing short of a damn angel. 

You knock on the door three times, crossing your arms over your chest as you waited. 

“Aren’t you the one with the key?” Bucky questions, one hand on his waist. 

The door swung open in the middle of his sentence revealing... you.

Another you.

“Nah, she has it.” Ex-Kidnapped-You raises your head in acknowledgement at Doorway-You.

“Ah.” He fucking knew it. An unnatural sense of smugness blossoms in his chest. 

“Hey,” the both of you said at the same time.

Doorway-You looked way more relaxed, a little less grimy and dishevelled but exactly the same.

“Buck, I see you met my other half,” the you from the doorway greets him. “Or other whole, actually.”

“Sure did.” He sends a glance at Ex-Kidnapped-You.

“You can go on in. Big first day, huh?” Doorway-You refers to the you beside him.

“You wouldn’t believe,” Ex-Kidnaped-You mutters, pushing past the entrance and disappearing inside.

“She gonna be okay?” His gaze trails after your clone.

“Oh yeah, just needs to recharge.” You turn around to make sure she’s fine. “She’s made of some pretty strong carbon, technically almost indestructible.”

No wonder ‘you’ said they couldn’t hurt you.

“Heya, sarge.” You draw his attention back to you. “Always good to see you.”

“Can’t really say the same about you.” 

“Ever the emotional repressor, Mr Barnes. I like this little leather show you got going, did ya wear it just for me?”

He shifts his balance to his other foot, feet slightly wide apart. “Take it that the clone machine finally worked?”

“I was in the middle of celebrating.” You sigh, recalling the events of that morning. “Teleported home for a second to get some champagne and when I came back she was gone.”

“Irresponsible.” He tsks, head shaking in disappointment. 

“Sorry I didn’t take amateur kidnappers into account for my risk factor analysis, Bucky,” you shoot back, pressing on his name for added annoyance. “Anyway, I did the responsible thing. I sent all the evidence I had to you guys.”

“Real clever.” Bucky looks at you in dry amusement. “Attack on the clone? Really?”

“Hey, always make time for a good pun.” You finger gun, lopsided grin on your face. “Did the team like it?”

“They thought it was a typo.” Or a code. He really had Wanda to thank for his big revelation. “Your video didn’t help either.”

“Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.” You laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.

He doesn’t reply, pursing his lip inwards in sympathy, but more so to conceal a smile.

The happiness drops from your face slowly, horror taking its place. “Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.”

“Good job, your machine worked,” he adds helpfully.

“C’mon, there were so many differences,” you whine, the success of your endeavour the last thing on your mind. 

“That is your literal clone,” he points out, only to see you- clone you- walk into the giant box in the corner of the room, bright green light emanating from it like a xerox machine.

“How could they not tell the original apart from a copy?” You look genuinely offended. Insane. “Not even Sam?”

“Guess you’re not unique enough.” A rise and fall of his shoulders signify his attitude towards this whole thing. “Think I like your copy better, too, actually.”

“You’re so mean.” You puff in disbelief. “I’m a 100% original. How many mad scientist teachers do you know?”

“Two.” 

“I don’t mean now, that’s not even the-” You poke at his rock hard chest. “You are so much more annoying than when I first met you.”

He thinks it’s good relationship development.

“I have to deal with you every weekend.” He watches your finger drop from his chest. “Picked it up along the way.”

“Boo hoo, talking like you don’t have deep, deep feelings for me.” You roll your eyes. “I see right through you, Bucky Barnes.”

“Can you see the part that couldn’t give less of a shit?” He gestures to himself. “It’s all of it.”

“You think you’re such a comedian, huh?” You narrow your eyebrows. “How did you know she was a fake then, huh?”

Busted.

“Probably ‘cause you didn’t talk as much today,” he dodges. “Actually had some peace of mind for a change.”

“You knew before you got there, you liar.” You push past his fabrications. “You figured it out before everyone else.”

“You literally put it in the title.”

“Yeah, but the rest of the team saw it too.”

“Rest of the team didn’t know you were building a goddamn clone machine for months.”

“You remembered that?” You pulled away, palm over your heart. “Oh, sarge, you paid attention to me.”

His nose twitches.

“You said it, like, eight hundred times.” He could use both his hands to count the number of references you had offhandedly made in the last three weeks alone.

“Why'd you go save me when you knew it wasn't real?” you continue to challenge relentlessly, knowing fully well that he was fibbing. 

“Because you fuckin’ peer pressured me. Had the whole team around me when you sent your little video during breakfast.”

“Just admit it,” you coo, ignoring all his justifications. “You noticed it was fake me right away but showed up anyway because you’re wildly in love with me.”

“No,” he says stiffly. 

“No as in you won’t admit it you have a crush on me, or no as in you didn’t know it was fake me?”

There was no winning this. 

“Good day to you.” He pulls the motorcycle helmet on to hide the expression that plain as day screamed the former of your two options.

“Also,” you bring up indignantly, “she even got to ride the fucking bike and I’ve been asking to drive it for months now!”

“We-” he chooses his words carefully. “-compromised.”

“Oh, you did?” Your voice lowers at the newfound information, interest piqued. “I’m gonna hold you to that then, whatever it is.”

“Doesn’t count.”

“Absolutely does,” you huff. “A promise is legally binding. Blue’s Clues taught me that.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

“You’re my knight in leathery armour,” you swoon, switching sides immediately, “Kinda.”

“See you next week,” he says in farewell, determined to leave before you made it worse. “Try not to get killed by then.”

“Why, so you can do it yourself? Protective much?” You pull him back when he starts walking away, laughing slightly. “Wait a second, you weirdo.”

He sighs, staying put anyway, arms crossed impatiently over his chest.

You pull out the pen tucked behind your ear and slowly tap him twice on each shoulder in a makeshift knighting ceremony. “For your sacrifice.”

He rolls his eyes at the ludicrousness, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth.

You ignore his lack of enthusiasm, pressing your fingertips to your lips in a small kiss and then to his nose, given that it was the only part of his face you had access to.

“That was for your bravery.” You grin brightly at him and he sure as hell is glad he’s wearing the stupid helmet because he can feel his cheeks light up a bright crimson.

“Thanks.” His voice sounds gruffer than a second ago. He clears his throat.

“Now you’re my knight in leathery armour,” you fawn, nearly falling over yourself dramatically. “Let’s ride into the sunset together. I love you.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he calls out over his shoulder, turning away to return to his bike. “I despise you.”

“But you don’t.”

He really didn’t.

also i managed to fuck my phone up really bad so all proceeds from my ko-fi go towards getting it fixed

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

[sandbees]

A few about the Great Seven interacting with Twisted Wonderland characters VIA Yuu. 👀 I only have one word summary; Chaos.

Who would meet the Great Seven first? Obviously the first years (along with Ortho and Grim). They’re Yuu’s best friends after all.

Actually, it was Friday, the last day of the week. And coincidentally, that night would be a special night at the House of Mouse. Ariel and her sisters would be performing that night.

Mickey told Yuu that that they could invite anyone to watch the performance. So Yuu went to get special permission to take their friends along with them.

After kidnapping Ortho After Yuu gathers everyone, they explain that they’re going out to see a special performance at their workplace.

Keep in mind that no one knows exactly what Yuu’s new job was except Grim and Crowley. So naturally everyone was in on it and curious. (Only Grim knows about Yuu meeting the Great Seven though)

Ace: So where do you work at?

Yuu: I work at a club.

Epel: ...As in a strip club or a book club?

Yuu: Wtf Epel? It’s like a club but no alcohol. It’s technically a restaurant but they have live shows and put on a lot of performances so-

Deuce: Oh! That’s cool, we get to see it together!

Yuu: Actually I’m not going to be with you guys. I’m on duty that day so I’ll be waiting tables. But I’ll join during break.

Ace: Really? Bummer.

Ortho: Aw, I wanted to hang out with you too! But it will be fun nonetheless. :D

Yuu tells them to wait downstairs as they go upstairs to get everything ready.

They are low-key nervous, because the House of Mouse isn’t...exactly normal by Twisted Wonderland standards.

Meanwhile, Grim was telling the first years about Yuu’s experiences there.

Grim: You know, the House of Mouse is really popular, I’ve heard about a lot of customers Yuu has met.

Deuce: This job must have been hard...I’m glad Yuu got it though!

Grim: Yeah, they pay them 5,000 madol! Isn’t that great?!

Sebek: 5,000 madol?! That’s a lot more than being a waiter.

Ace: In a week? I mean having a salary of 5,000 is pretty impressive.

Grim: Hehe, it’s actually 5,000 a day.

First Years: WHAT?!

Jack: To be able to pay that much...the owner must be wealthy.

Epel: Yuu lucked out!

When Yuu comes down, the first years are asking a billion questions.

How did you find a job with such a high pay??? Is the work good?? Is your boss nice to you?? Explain everything-

Yuu assured them that their job is just waiting a bunch of tables, and that they’re payed well because the place is very popular.

Anyways, Yuu tells them that they’re going now and leads them upstairs.

“Shouldn’t we be going to the hall of mirrors-?” “It won’t work.”

The group kind of loses their mind as Yuu casually pushes Ace into their mirror, Grim follows behind.

“Come on, or do I have to push you through the mirror like I did with Ace?”

Safe to say is that they go through the mirror and are greeted with a very lavish dressing room.

“Wait woah this isn’t Mickey’s dressing room.”

Yuu finds a note and read it out loud. Apparently Mickey moved the mirror to a new room so they could have privacy. Anything in the room is for their use.

“I’m going to cry. He’s so nICE I DON’T DESERVE THIS-“

Yuu is pretty happy with this arrangement, actually. They also begin to explain the club’s shtick to their friends.

“So this is basically a club for entertainment with live shows and also cartoons on the screen. Oh, and sometimes a cat named Pete tries to sabotage the show so he can kick everyone out and make this his club.” “Isn’t that illegal-“ “Not if there’s no police.”

So anyways Yuu leads them outside and they run into Goofy.

Sebek: Is that-?

Yuu: Hi Goofy, I’m bringing my friends to a table for the show-

Goofy: Yuu! There you are! You’re needed at table 14.

Yuu: What? But my shift hasn’t started-

Goofy: Reservations from Hades himself.

Yuu: Oh shit, ok yeah I’ll be there as soon as possible-

Ortho: Hades? As in the God of the Underworld?

Yuu: Yes, I’ll explain later, more importantly let’s go find you a table.

Ace: I think not telling us you actually met one of the GREAT SEVEN!

Yuu: I did tell you; and you didn’t believe me.

Everyone is vibrating in nervousness and excitement. Especially Ortho. I mean, this is the GREAT SEVEN we’re talking about!

Yuu decides to introduce them to Hades. But surprise surprise, it’s all of the Great Seven!

Yuu’s first year friends are going to pass out from shock. Oof.

With some inquiry, Yuu explains to the Great Seven that the friends they brought were from Twisted Wonderland.

Let’s just say that the First Years got invited to sit at their table. (Sebek is quaking at the idea of sitting with the Witch of Thorns)

So while Yuu leaves to start work (not after taking all of their orders first, of course), the Great Seven begin asking the first years + Grim questions.

The first years are expectantly tense, but they loosen up.

Ursula and Jafar are a little disappointed that no one from their dorm is present, but they seem to easily forget that after Yuu tells them that they know people from their respective dorms anyways.

Yuu also gives them a little more information they found about their respective dorms, so that they don’t feel...left out? (Satisfied is a better word for it)

Ursula pets Grim and Jafar feeds him crackers. Grim does not complain, he’s fine. He becomes more compliant as his tuna arrives.

And some of the other’s thoughts? Well...

The Queen of Hearts almost blew up in anger at Ace and Deuce. They are idiots that do nOT KNOW THE PROPER WAY TO SPEAK TO THEIR SUPERIORS AND THEY HAVE BROKEN AT LEAST 359 RULES ALREADY-

But somehow, the Queen of Hearts warms up to the idiotic duo. She sees them as...annoying children she has to babysit but they’re also really adorable that she can’t stay mad at them forever. Plus, Deuce is trying and Ace has these wonderful card tricks that would make her Jester cry.

So at first, she does not approve, but as the night progresses she does. 8/10 would meet the ADeuce combo again.

Scar and Jack...hm. Well, I don’t think they’d get along of Scar’s sense of morality and justice of the past was brought up. However, the villains all agreed to not bring up their villainous past because they didn’t want to scare away Yuu/make them wary and distrustful of them. Same goes for the first years.

Anyways, Scar is impressed at how buff Jack is. He isn’t surprised though - he expected residents of his dorm to be powerful. Scar lays down some well deserved praise and Jack eats it up with a tail wag. Jack also talks about his dorm and what the dorm represents. Scar’s ego rises 100x and Scar becomes somewhat...egotistical. Well, maybe not like in a “I’m shoving my ego in your face” type of ego but in a “This pleases me and I will treat you kinder” ego.

Basically, Scar opens up a little more to Jack as the night progresses. Like a mentor/student bond.

The Evil Queen and Epel...well, the Evil Queen was quite picky with how Epel was acting. Yes, he had the proper posture but really, he was using the wrong forks to eat that particular kind of food. She expected better from someone who came from her dorm. So she ended up chastising him and scolding him for being “improper”. Like Vil.

She was shocked to say when Epel accidentally snapped back at her, before returning to his more “princely” persona. Ah, so the child had more than meets the eye. She tried a different approach, as in trying to ease Epel into talking to her. Certainly, Epel was much more headstrong and willful than that naive Snow White.

So, the Evil Queen and Epel have a rocky start, but by the end of the show.

Hades and Ortho...well, that’s a combo you never see everyday. But I think Hades would basically adopt Ortho. As in suddenly he gets father vibes from the kid. He’s also particularly interested in his own dorm, and asks Ortho about it. Ortho’s pretty chatty with Hades, and is happy to tell Hades about his dorm! He also asks a few questions himself; which Hades happily obliged to.

...and then it turns into Ortho talking about Idia and how wonderful he is. And Hades is like, “damn, this kid has a wonderful big brother. How come my younger siblings act like shit to me-“

So Hades silently swore to the River of Styx to keep this child safe, and Ortho had a fun time interacting with Hades!

Sebek and Maleficent...well, it could have been worse.

Poor Sebek was tense and tight lipped for most of the night. He really wanted to make a good impression on Malleus’ grandmother. (I don’t think Sebek has met Maleficent yet so-)

Maleficent was patient, however. She knew Fae kind were raised to think of Maleficent as a high authority figure that should be treated with upmost respect. Unlike the other kingdoms; the Valley of Thorns praised Maleficent like a goddess. She didn’t blame Sebek for acting like he was.

So she started with baby steps. Talking about how wonderful it was to meet her grandson’s bodyguard, how Malleus must have grown to be a strong magician, how she wished she had stayed to know more about her grandson.

Actually, the breaking point between the tense atmosphere between the two was Malleus. Sebek opens up a little more as he continues to talk to Maleficent.

At the end of the night, they’ve only talked about Malleus, but Maleficent was content with that. After all, keeping up with what her grandson was doing was more than enough.

By the end of the night, the First Years enjoyed the special performance and their time with the Great Seven. Things went well especially when Yuu came to join during their break.

So when it was time to go, everyone had happily said their goodbyes as they were ready to return.

“Oh, before I forget...Yuu, I have almost completed the portals for the others so do expect one of us to pop in soon.” “Oh, ok!” “...THEY MIGHT VISIT US?!”

Everyone is low key excited to meet again though.

So, the first years go through the mirror and stay at Ramshackle, chatting away at their time at the House of Mouse.

_=_

Yeah, this was a looonngg write, I’m actually going to do the rest of the TW cast in another post. I hope you enjoyed this one! :)

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagine #twisted wonderland headcannons #twisted wonderland mc #ace trappola #deuce spade #epel felmier #sebek zigvolt #jack howl #house of mouse au #great seven #mickey mouse #Disney #queen of hearts #jafar #scar #ursula #maleficent #hades #the evil queen #first years #ask

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Graveyard Siblings (4)

I am sorry for not posting in a while. School is a total bitch. Here is part 4 of a fic that is not a fic.

[Masterlist]

(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)

-------

Tall Marinette.(I admit I might be projecting a little here.)

One day, she took out something from someplace high and the whole family realized that ‘holy shit when did you get so tall?’

Bonus if Jason comes back from a long mission and had a wtf moment because she was wearing 6-inch-heels and met his eyes with them on.

“Pixie?!”

------

You know how Bruce has the identity of Matches Malone to infiltrate the Gotham Underground.

While Jason does the drug deals more street crime stuff, Maria uses an excuse of being the representative for Red Hood excuse to mingle with the rich people who does crime on the side (Penguin), she uses it to go to black market auctions and buy some of the lost miraculouses which got into the hands of black market dealers.

Jason knows about it and acts as her ‘bodyguard’ anytime he can or sends one of his henchmen to be one with a death threat if she gets a single scratch on her.

Bruce is unaware of this. Or is he?

------

Mari helps with running WE since she is a little less busy with the vigilante side of things.

It started with Tim panicking about deadlines and Mari offering to help, to Bruce and Tim bullying the board to have her as co-CEO.

She has to be that and head of Afterlife. So she is very busy. Doesn’t know about what comes next….

------

Somehow the class comes to Gotham for a trip. It has been 3 years since her death.

Mari has changed her appearance since the day she left Paris. She has highlights in her hair after a ‘sibling bonding day’ with Jason. Her hair is kept short for convenience and not in pigtails. Along with her tall height and more confident aura, she is almost unrecognizable.

She rides a motorcycle too.

The class waits in the lobby for the tour and in walks this badass woman with aviator sunglasses, leather jacket and designer clothes which was all MT brand, making a lot of people swoon.

She takes off her glasses and walks past the class. Checking stuff on her phone and sipping coffee in her other hand.

She seems familiar but they couldn’t figure out why. (All except Chloe, Alix and Felix who are snickering in the background.)

Lila sees her and comments on how she must be a criminal with the way she dresses. (Lila internally freaks out because were her eyes messing with her? Because she looked a little like Marinette. Also jealous of the new arrival for stealing all the attention.) Alya takes the bait and calls security to ‘arrest’ her.

They just laugh. The class doesn’t understand, speaking in confused French.

-------------

“I am Maria Todd-Wayne, also known as designer MT. CEO of Afterlife and co-CEO of the very company you are in. I am allowed in here. Don’t judge a book by its cover.” she said in perfect French.

“But Lila told us you can’t speak French.”

“Who?”

“Lila Rossi, your friend. She told us that you and MT were dating.”

“Me dating myself. Okay I love myself because self-love is a thing but that is a whole other level. MT are my initials. Anyone who has a brain could have figured that out or at the very least do a Google search. I am not sure where your friend got that notion.”

“Hey, Bean, come on. We have a long day ahead of us.” Tim reminded her.

“Goodbye but cease the rumours or you would be escorted off the premises.”

As they rode up the elevator, “Tim, why are they here?”

“They are the lucky winners of the Wayne Enterprise Young Prodigies Contest. Why, Maria?”

“Lucky, huh.” She muttered under her breath. She might as well tell him. They are the Bats and they will find out anyway. “They are from my old class, the one you know…”

“Oh. Want me to send them back? I can do that if they are making you uncomfortable.”

“Nah. Too much to deal with. And it is unfair to send them back over a petty grudge. Besides, I could have some fun.”

“Anything that Bruce and I should be worried about?”

“I swear no killing. Just because Jason came back from the dead, hell-bent on killing. Doesn’t mean I am too.”

“Cool, just don’t do any property damage or traumatize our employees.”

“I might need you to erase some footage later and tell Bruce about this.”

“Some brownies, my favourite coffee cake, the ‘special’ brew and you have yourself a deal.”

-----

So basically she just showed up around where the class was ‘by coincidence’.

Talk to a few people and take them out of earshot of the rest of the class.

End the conversation by saying a few things only they and her would know. Insides jokes and secrets. (I pick her old childhood friends like, Nino, Kim and maybe Sabrina)

Uses Trixx to turn into a walking dead version of her 15-year old self and disappears as they freak out about how she knew that secret/story.

Freaks them out further by appearing again in front of the whole class and pretending not to know their previous conversation.

Mari manages to get Lila alone.

I should also say that Lila thought that her curse was making her see MT as Marinette.

It terrifies Lila when she finds out that MT is actually Marinette, not dead but alive after all this time and apparently living the high life she wanted. This fact made the Italian swell up with jealousy.

“I hope you are not lying about me again, Lila Rossi. Like you always do.”

“What do you want with me? I swear I didn’t say anything else about you.”

“Aw, Lila. Don’t recognize me?”

Maria flickers and Ladybug is in her place and later, the Marinette that appeared in her bedroom and back to normal.

“You! How? Why are you here? Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“Why not? I mean you did take away nearly all my friends, my parents and made my life a living hell. If you think about it, I am just repaying you the same favor. How are the others? Treating you well?”

“What did you do to me, you bitch?”

“I just put a curse on you. The ghosts of your past will haunt you until you stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop Lying, Liar. They all feed and grow in power from your lies. I wonder what would happen in a few years if you kept this up.”

“You think you can get away with this. This is war and I have already beaten you once.”

“Oh Rossi. This isn’t a war. It’s a death sentence.” With that she disappears.

Lila tries to tell her class that MT is actually Marinette. She is met with crazy looks. Some of them look like they want to believe her but don't because they don’t want to look crazy too.

Oh. Adrien wasn’t on the trip because his mother didn’t want him to go to the crime capital of America although the crime rate has gone down a little due to Hellbat curing some of the city’s bad energy..

Right after Lila told the class about MT, Scarecrow came to steal some Wayne tech and the class got caught in the crossfire. So later, it was brushed off as Lila seeing things due to the fear toxins.

-----

Joker made the mistake of kidnapping her. Once was enough to never try that again.

(It involved the use of nearly all of the Miraculouses, old and new. He was thoroughly humiliated at the end of it and his picture by the time Hellbat was done with him was on the Batfam’s Christmas Card. Like I said she doesn’t kill but making them beg for death was okay.)

It coincided with Jason’s Birthday and the video of the incident was ‘the best birthday present ever.’ The uncensored version was watched at the next undead siblings bonding day. Damian included.

After hearing a few rumours about what happened, most criminals were glad for Hellbat’s rare appearances. (which happens once a month and during really busy time of the year)

There was a time where Penguin was carrying out one of their plans and when Hellbat showed up, all of their thugs surrendered instantly. (No Batman did not pout at the fact that this French girl was more imitating than him.)

Scarecrow used his newest batch of fear toxin on her during the first year after she died.

He was astounded to see her still standing and she later proceeded to beat the crap out of him while being under the toxin’s influences.

He has tried to stay out of her way since then.

She saw Scarecrow as Hawkmoth and said a lot of things in French which scared everyone because she said it with so much hate, anger and in a very menacing tone that everyone is like ‘I am not touching this.’

It took Red Hood and Nightwing to restrain her from further beating Scarecrow up.

He was one of the people who sympathised with the Joker after the Incident.

The next was Riddler being so arrogant in his plans and managed to get Hellbat and Spoiler into a death trap.

“You know I have a few regrets in life. And my final one is that I got captured and am now going to get killed by a walking fashion disaster.”

“Hey! I made this myself. I will have, you know.”

“You have a brilliant mind but no sense of fashion at all. When I get out of here, I am going to burn that thing with you in it, for your crimes against fashion.”

“What is wrong with it?”

Cue a lot of roasting of Riddler’s costume and Spoiler adding more fuel to the fire.

They manage to escape while Riddler is crying on the floor, having an existential crisis.

The thing was no one knows why Riddler was silent the entire week after encountering Hellbat and crying when anyone mentions it.

They now think Hellbat is the scariest one in the Batfamily, second to Batman and tied with Black Bat/Orphan.

The few who find out what really happened in the warehouse that night. Blackmail material on the Riddler.

Three ( four if you count Penguin) of Gotham’s biggest villains of the Rogues Gallery scared of Bats’ newest addition. Hellbat was not someone they wanted to mess with.

---------

Magic crisis stuff. Like a world ending event thing. Dr. Fate says they need the Miraculous jewels but the last mention of them had been in Paris a few years ago and had vanished since then.

Costantine looked at Batman. “You know who you have to call.”

Batman calls Hellbat. Who hasn’t been introduced yet to the JL.

“Ah. Bats. Not that I question your authority or anything but how can your newest ‘ward’ help us?”

She takes off her helmet and reveals her face and more importantly, her earrings.

Tikki comes out of her hiding place.

“I am the current Guardian of the Miracle Box and wielder of the Ladybug miraculous during Hawkmoth’s reign in Paris a few years ago. Any other Questions?”

“Oh great Guardian. Tikki. It is an honour to meet you.”-Wonder Woman, who else.

“You too, Princess Diana. Pass on my regards to your mother.”-Tikki

A huge face-off and the big evil is defeated.

WW asks abt HM and gives a horrified face at the end of her story. Nearly everyone who eavesdropped on the conversation was.

"Forgive me, Guardian for not aiding you in your hour of need.”

“It’s okay. I understand that there are other crises, world-ending ones that JL have to take care of. I am better now. Mostly.”

“I doubt it with those revenge schemes I found lying around. But she is getting there with her therapist.”-Batman

“I hate you, Dad.”

“Did you just call him Dad?”

“No….”

“Do you see me as a father figure?”

“I see you as a nuisance with how nosy you are with my personal business. So you are more of a bother figure.”

“I see you as part of the family too, Daughter.” (Got that reference anyone?)

“Jason was the one who adopted me.”

“Legally you are adopted by me.”

Maria with Pikachu surprised face because nobody told her that. “My life is a lie.”

-------

(Part 5)

#graveyard sibling #platonic jasonette #maribat #mlb x dc #platonic daminette #platonic timinette #some class salt #lila salt #lila bashing #joker doesn't look good here either #platonic! jasonette #siblings jasonette #platonic timminette #marinette and stephanie teaming up to rip into Riddler's costume

[archived-kin]

you go to a devildom zoo and a penguin attempts to seduce you (the brothers are not happy)

note from kin: this was meant to be out way sooner but covid-19 and a whole lot of catch-up coursework said no to that idea >:(

anyway formatting on mobile is actual ass so let me know if this ends up unreadable!

enjoy, darlings!

fandom: obey me!

character(s): gn!reader, lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor, diavolo (mentioned briefly)

pairing(s): demon brothers/reader, penguin/reader (one-sided), a bat also very briefly tries to seduce you

warning(s): reader really loves deadly creatures which i know isn't really a warning but just as a heads up for those who can't relate i guess??? also this is ended up WAY longer than i intended lmao

genre: fluff (but also crack)

oh the pure joy you felt when you found out that there are zoos in the devildom

zoos full of sphinxes, chimeras, hydras, krakens, manticores, basilisks and griffins, but zoos nonetheless

in fact, you’d argue that the fact that the zoos here are full of potentially lethal legendary beasts is even COOLER

so, naturally, you begged lucifer to let you go to one

his response?

“absolutely not, you could be killed.”

well now that’s just unfair

there are so many things down here in the devildom that could kill you! the heat, the food, the dragons just wandering around in the skies, your fellow students at rad, belphie, not sleeping enough, the stupidly narrow staircases, lucifer himself! in fact, you’d argue that lucifer has already come close to killing you more times than any of those creatures at the zoo

unfortunately that was entirely was the wrong thing to say because now lucifer’s gone all broody on you

you just KNOW he’s gonna spend all of next week either drowning himself in work or sulking in the music room if you don’t cheer him up quickly

so you guess it’s time to pull out the puppy eyes and hope that they work

spoiler alert: they do. you also end up being stuck in lucifer’s arms for about five hours afterwards as he cuddles out all of his negative thoughts, but that’s not a bad thing, so you’re not complaining

the next day, however, you are BACK on your bullshit

and you are back with a vengeance!

you are getting a trip to that zoo whether lucifer likes it or not and you will not rest until you succeed

your first idea is to go to diavolo for help because.... he’s diavolo and lucifer would listen to that demon before anyone, including himself

unfortunately that doesn’t work because diavolo is out on a business trip to the human world with barbatos

(which means your butler buddy, who could probably have helped you make your case, is also out of the picture)

you suppose that you could try getting simeon in on the scheme but you’re pretty sure he’d end up making it worse with his insatiable penchant for teasing lucifer

your final solution?

cry

and it worked a treat too!

lucifer is just a sucker for his human and he doesn’t like seeing them sad okay :((

he finally agrees to let you go to the big zoo just north of RAD since it’s directly under diavolo’s jurisdiction, but he also makes you promise that you’ll take at least one brother with you

(he’s hoping you’ll choose him)

but then you uno reverse card him!

jokes on you, lucifer, your human wants a family day out!!

lucifer would be lying if his heart didn’t swell slightly when you proclaimed you wanted all the brothers to come with you so that you could all spend the day together having fun

although you may have just made a mistake because now lucifer is going to do everything in his power to make sure the day goes perfectly, and if that means smiting the rude demon in line in front of you, then what about it?

(luckily you stop him from the killing someone before you’re even inside, but it was a close call)

the moment the eight of you step into the zoo satan whisks you off to look at the devildom equivalent of big cats

which means the sphinxes and manticores first, then the giant fire-breathing tigers

he’s planning to have a nice heart-to-heart conversation with you while the two of you stroll along the exhibit, but then you both get distracted by how cool the animals are

so the two of you just end up dragging each other back and forth to look at one creature after another

not the romantic scene satan initially had in mind, but he’d be lying if he said this wasn’t also absolutely perfect

holding your hand while you talk enthusiastically about how majestically that manticore leapt thirty feet into the air with your entire face lighting up like the most beautiful lantern in the world? stunning. outstanding. he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

meanwhile, back at the entrance, levi is sulking, mammon is fuming, beel is already stuffing himself with overpriced food stall delicacies, belphie has crawled under a bench to nap while he waits for you to come back, asmo is taking pictures with the extra long-legged flamingo billboard, and lucifer is so preoccupied with trying to figure out just how the hell the walking system here works that he hasn’t even noticed that you and satan have just disappeared into the void

in the end the remaining brothers split off into pairs, all agreeing that whoever is the first to find you and satan will get to have some one-on-one time with you next

and, drumroll please, that lucky pair turns out to be... beel and belphie!

(really they have an unfair advantage though since beel can smell out anyone he knows from a mile away)

meanwhile satan has just spent just about all of the grimm he brought with him on a hideously overpriced plush version of the manticore you were so fascinated with

but the smile on your face when he gives it to you?? the LIGHT that exudes from you when you declare that the plush’s name is now greenie because it has green eyes just like his?? worth it. absolutely worth it.

but uh oh, the moment is soon to be gone, because guess who’s here?

beel and belphie can’t let satan have all your attention! beel is a little more forgiving, but belphie is going to make sure he’s the first to get a kiss today, anti-lucifer club alliance be damned!

he’s not going to admit that of course. instead, he’s going to very subtly hip-bump satan out of the way so that he can hold your hand instead (beel can have the other hand, but if he tries to pull you away, he’s getting what-for.)

normally satan would be pretty miffed by this, but hey, he’s in a good mood right now and he doesn’t want to spoil the day by getting pissy, so he lets the twins get away with it. younger sibling privilege, am I right?

belphie wants to take you to his particular favourite exhibit here, the giant carnivorous cattle with horns the size of chair legs

beel, on the other hand, suggests that maybe you don’t want to see a gargantuan mammal tear apart a giant piece of meat that may or may not have been sourced from a human graveyard (the giant carnivorous cattle are picky, okay? at least they’re not murdering people for the meat)

you, however, are absolutely fearless

besides, what harm can a giant carnivorous cattle with horns the side of chair legs do to you when it’s being kept behind six inches of hellfire trench, with three of the devildom’s most powerful demons close by to swoop in to your rescue?

beel begrudgingly agrees to go see the giant carnivorous cattle, but makes you promise to stay slightly behind him so that he can jump to defend you should they get out of hand

your big strong demon standing in front of you, protecting you as you get to look at a super cool and also deadly creature? you are absolutely on board with this.

(satan is slightly concerned by your willingness to go near creatures that could tear you to pieces in a second, but if he gets to see you smile like that again then... well, what can he say, he’s a simp)

so off you go!

the giant carnivorous cattle are AWESOME. you get to watch a trio of them eat what appears to be an entire car in, like, two seconds, tops, and they don’t even look bothered by the metal disappearing down their massive gullets.

(you ask belphie in an undertone why the cattle are eating cars if they’re carnivorous. his response is that even giant carnivorous cattle need their minerals, so the zookeepers feed them a bunch of the metal stuff you get in human scrapyards.)

(sounds like an RSPCA violation to you...)

you’re practically tumbling over the fence as you lean forward to get a proper look at them and their adorable tiny wings, so belphie ends up having to pull you back

just as he does it, however, he has a very bright idea

so instead of gently tugging you back as he’d originally planned, he practically yanks you into him, conveniently slipping your hand out of beel’s in the process

listen, it’s not that belphie resents letting beel hold hands with you at the same time as him. a demon’s just gotta get his hugs sometimes, alright?

of course you’re a little miffed about being so violently yoinked, so you’re about to turn around and give belphie a piece of your mind, but then he pulls you close to him and nuzzles his nose into your hair

how are you supposed to scold him for that???

he seems so content and he’s even doing that adorable little purring thing demons do when they’re happy that he never does in public

you can’t just pull out of his arms! it’s probably illegal!!!!!

belphie gets a pass for being cute this time. only this time. no more.

(as an aside, this sort of thing happens at least once a day because belphie’s a whiny little baby who can’t go twelve hours without your love)

anyway now beel looks a little downtrodden which you are not having

your solution? wait until belphie lets go of you on his own and then you can give beel a hug of his own.

unfortunately belphie doesn’t seem interested in separating from you

luckily you don’t end up having to deal with that, because then satan steps in

partially because he feels bad for beel and also partially because okay that’s enough touching now, know your boundaries

which means it’s BEEL’S TURN TO SHINE

does this demon want you to die? because that is what’s going to happen if he keeps being so friggin sweet

first of all he buys you a bunch of treats from the nearby food stalls with his own money and offers every single one to you

is he on drugs? is that what’s happening here? what happened to the avatar of gluttony who ate first and asked questions later???

of course you aren’t going to be so cruel as to take every single one of the treats he’s offering when you can physically hear his stomach rumble as he holds them out to you

instead, you take a handful or so and tell him to eat the rest himself because he deserves it

beel almost tears up he’s so happy he loves you so much in that moment

some may say he’s being dramatic but beel says that every moment with you is a treasure and he has every right to be emotional

belphie is a teensy bit pissed that satan simp-policed him when he’s just as whipped but it’s beel so... he’ll stay down

satan, meanwhile, starts snapping pictures of you at every opportunity, most of them candids, to save to the album he has dedicated especially to you, and also to send to the brothers’ group chat to brag

asmo responds to each one with even more heart emojis than the last, levi always has some kind of jealous comment to make, lucifer stays silent (satan knows he’s saving the photos to his own gallery to gaze affectionately at later though), and mammon just keeps sending angry stickers and then quickly adding that they’re not aimed at you but at satan for having the audacity

anyway, the four of you end up leaving the giant carnivorous cow exhibit after spending a few minutes just sitting together on one of the giant benches while you and beel (mostly beel) eat the giant pile of food he purchased

(beel’s not evil so he offers satan and belphie some obviously, but he makes it clear that you’re getting first pick)

beel’s about to ask where you want to head next when

here comes trouble

and make it double

asmo and levi are IN the building (zoo)

levi, having gotten so antsy waiting for you to show up, disregards all subtlety and basically throws himself right at you, scoops you up, and takes off

leaving behind your poor manticore plush, a stunned satan, beel, belphie, and asmo, who immediately starts running after the two of you, shouting ‘hey, that isn’t fair!’

satan, belphie and beel are left to exchange disbelieving looks and attempt to follow

(don't worry about greenie, satan picks him up and vows to keep him safe until he meets up with you again)

meanwhile you are being quite literally swept off your feet

“levi. levi stop i can walk. levi i’m coming to aquarium with you. you don’t need to pull me. levi i’m getting a little dizzy over here. levi please”

luckily you are saved from your impending doom (because, realistically, there is no way mr hasn’t-exercised-in-several-millennia can carry someone halfway across the biggest zoo in all three realms without tripping) by asmo

now, asmo does not like exercise. it makes him all hot and sweaty (and not in the sexy way) and it’s just... not it. however, because it’s you, he will make an exception just this once.

so he grits his teeth, pins back his long-ass fringe with a cute butterfly clip, and runs for it

normally jealous-mode levi will not stop for anything, but a running asmo in the right situation is even more terrifying than a quiet angry lucifer, and a quiet angry lucifer normally means multiple people are getting burnt alive

so what does levi do? naturally, he stops in his tracks, lets out a scream of such a high frequency that he disturbs a flock of deathseye hawks nesting in a tree nearby, and almost drops you on your head

asmo immediately stops running, takes a moment to dab off any sweat on his forehead with his dainty little pink handkerchief, and lets his hair back down

because he is not exercising for a second longer than he has to

anyway, now that you’re not being torpedo’d halfway across the world, you can finally take a second to breathe and actually ask levi what he wants

he goes pink and stares shame-facedly at the ground and refuses to say a word, especially with avatar of lust ‘i like teasing my brothers to the point where it might be sexual harassment’ asmodeus Right There behind you

but you want your purple boy to be honest!! which means it is puppy dog eyes time again

finally, staring determinedly off to the side, levi mumbles, “you promised we’d go see the fish...”

oh your poor heart

you’re inclined to start pressing kisses all over his face, but you just know he will immediately blow up on the spot if you do in such a public area, so you settle on giving him a subtle hug and reassuring him that yes, you will go see the fish with him

now, asmo’s a hoe for attention, we all know that, but even he has his moments

so, making you promise to go see the birds of arcadia with him later, he departs with a wave and a very sneaky kiss planted on your cheek to let you and levi have your time together

thanks asmo

so off you and levi go!

the aquarium FUCKS

sorry that was too strong

the aquarium is GORGEOUS

it’s got this beautiful deep blue-green ambient lighting, and there are enormous tanks for the giant sharks that essentially make up the walls and ceiling

and there are SO MANY FISH!

rainbow fish, neon pink fish, fish with tiny markings that make them look like they have moustaches, fish with scales that change colour every five seconds, glow-in-the-dark fish, fish the size of a small car

literally any kind of fish you can imagine? they HAVE THEM

you’re almost too distracted to notice levi tugging aggressively on your sleeve

when you do, though, he quickly ushers you over into the tunnel exhibit, where the dolphins live

devildom dolphins look pretty similar to regular human dolphins, except they live in what’s essentially hydrochloric acid and are pitch black in colour with bright purple eyes

you’re pretty confused as to why levi wanted to drag you in here so quickly - you’d have thought he’d go for the goldfish, or the venomous water serpents, or even the special hydra exhibit they’ve got for a limited time

but then levi pulls you over to the very edge, taps his fingers lightly on the glass, and... starts clicking and chirruping?

you’re about to very concernedly ask if he’s feeling alright when something amazing happens

the giant male with scars all over it who, according to one of the signs along the tunnel, spends most of his time skulking as far away from the glass as possible and will eat any demon who comes too close, swims over to him

then, wearing the gentlest little smile, levi turns to you and tells you to say hello to captain

you almost yell out of sheer excitement, but you manage to collect yourself

instead, what comes out is an aggressively whispered:

"hello!! hi, captain!! it's lovely to meet you!! i love you!!!!"

and captain loves you too!!!!!

he swims right up to you and butts his nose against the glass

well you can't not immediately press your face against the glass as well so it looks like you're bumping noses with him can you???

so you do exactly that

all the while going "hello!! hello!! you're such a pretty boy!! what a handsome boy!!"

levi almost cries because you are just too perfect

you love captain? and captain loves you too? he seriously has to hold himself back from dropping to one knee and proposing right then and there

after taking a moment to get his heart to calm down, he translates what you're saying to captain, who immediately starts clicking back

and guess what??? captain says you're the prettiest!!!!!!!!! you’re the handsomest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now you're going to cry

you and levi spend ages in that tunnel together, just talking to captain and holding hands and exchanging little kisses now and then

levi is so in his element here in the aquarium that he isn't even as nervous and stuttery with his affection as usual

it's almost jarring, but are you complaining? absolutely not

when and levi emerge from the aquarium, both a little giddy and still enthusiastically talking about all the other creatures you said hi to after captain (who you are most definitely coming back to visit sometime), asmo is waiting outside so impatiently that he's getting a lot of irritated looks for his aggressive foot-tapping

levi wants to go see the reptiles now, but then asmo plays the 'i let you get away with having alone time, now let me have mine, bitch’ card

and to be honest levi's pretty sure that even self-proclaimed romance expert asmo can't top the mini-aquarium date you've just had with him, sooooo...

buying you a little keychain replica of captain just to get a final one over his brother, he bids you goodbye and goes off to the reptile house on his own, pulling on his headphones on his way so that he won't accidentally end up talking to some stranger again

it is now asmo's time to shine!!!

and so off the two of you head off to the birds of arcadia exhibit

however, it seems that asmo doesn’t have much interest in the birds themselves apart from for taking pictures with them for his devilgram

the birds are beautiful indeed, but guess what else is also beautiful? here is a short and concise list:

1. holding asmo’s hand

2. giving asmo kisses

3. receiving kisses from asmo

4. giving asmo hugs

5. receiving hugs from asmo

6. cuddling with asmo

7. sleeping with asmo (in the literal sense)

8. sleeping with asmo (in the not so litera—)

this has been a short and concise list of things that are very beautiful and you should absolutely do right this second (not ghost-written by asmodeus, avatar of lust, not at all)

anyway, it’s kind of hard to concentrate on that adorable neon striped pecker sitting close by to you when asmo is draping himself all over you like a damn scarf

it’s cute! it’s cute. but.... the birds...... you want to see the birds.........

in the end the two of you settle on a compromise: asmo will let you have some time to just look at the pretty birds as long as you keep holding his hand, and then the two of you will go and get matching face paint together

asmo’s kinda pouty about it at first, but he quickly changes his mind when he sees how enamoured you are by the birds

you really are too cute!! he just wants to scoop you up and cover you with kisses, but he’s already promised to leave that for when you aren’t in the middle of a busy public space

(he definitely isn’t the slightest bit jealous of them because he wants to be the only beautiful thing that you look at like that. he knows he’s prettier than those birds.)

(but, like... he’s still gonna puff up his chest a bit when he catches one edging just a bit too close to you. he may be the avatar of lust, but he does have his moments of jealousy as well… even if they’re at blooming birds.)

finally, when you’ve decided that you’ve had your fill of gorgeous birds, asmo immediately pulls you off to the face-painting booth

all the designs the demons managing it have come up with are pretty beautiful, so he’s not bothered about which one to get as long as you two are matching

which means you get to choose!!!!

at first he thinks you’ll ask for the super popular one that imitates the feather pattern of the most popular bird of arcadia, the lesser spotted spectra

but then you turn to look at him, think for a moment, turn back to the demon doing the painting, and ask if they do custom designs

asmo can only watch on, confused, as you and the demon whisper conspiratorially back and forth for five minutes

then the demon has started painting, and the cheeky little grin on your face is making him a little worried that you’ve deliberately asked for a really stupid design just to mess with him

but then, as the strokes and colours all come together, he realises something that might make him a little teary eyed. just a little bit.

the design you’ve asked for just so happens to be the gorgeous, swirling pattern of the avatar of lust’s pact mark

and it’s not just that, either. he takes a closer look and realises that the little flowers added around the edges are his favourite kind of rose as well

and THEN the demon doing the painting turns to him and tells him with a smirk that, by your suggestion, the paint he’s using has been enchanted so that it goes rainbow when you kiss the person who’s wearing it

oh, he really should have had more faith in you! this is even better than anything he could come up with!!!

(he takes about a million photos of you while he’s waiting for his own turn and sends at least a quarter of them to the group chat)

asmo is practically vibrating with excitement as he sits there getting his own face painted

and if you think he doesn’t drag you off to some secluded corner for a good half an hour just pressing little kisses all over your face and giggling when he pulls away and your face paint has gone all the colours of the rainbow, you are severely wrong

of course, he wants kisses as well. this is a give-and-take system and he wants just as much as he gives!!!

unfortunately, there is one disadvantage to spending so much time just canoodling

the others haven’t heard from you or asmo in a good hour and they are beginning to PANIC

mammon in particular is practically shooting off the walls and just constantly spamming you with ‘WHERE ARE YOU’ and ‘COME BACK’ messages

asmo doesn’t want you to go but he’s also kind of running off a high right now so he decides it’s okay and sends you off you find mammon with a cheery wave (and a love struck sigh once you’re out of earshot)

you find mammon just walking in circles in the communal area outside the cannibalistic not-zebras exhibit

he almost bursts into tears when you come up to him and tap him on the shoulder because it feels like he hasn’t seen you for what feels like hours and hours and he just,,, he missed you okay

after five minutes of him just furiously rubbing his eyes and refusing to admit why, he gathers himself and asks you what you want to go see

you have to think for a good long while because, while you’ve been to plenty of zoos in the human world and know by now the sorts of animals most of them have, devildom creature species are unpredictable

you could jokingly say ‘hyper-aware empathetic goose’ and they’d probably have one

but then you have a look around you and see the big map

and what is the first thing you see on that map?

‘vampiric venomous bats’

oh fuck yeah

mammon is a little concerned because the vvbs are known to randomly swoop down and attack the people who walk into their exhibit

he knows you can protect yourself!! but when you’re being swarmed by a horde of more than fifty giant bat creatures with enormous teeth full of venom that can kill you in seconds, there’s really not much you can do

and there is no expressing the amount of absolute misery that would descend on him if he let you get hurt

so instead, you make a compromise and decide to go to scheduled talk on the vvbs in ten minutes instead

normally mammon finds these zoo talks boring as all hell, but heck, if he gets to hold your hand for a whole forty five minutes without having to make an excuse to do so, he’s down

so off you go to the talk!

you’re having the absolute time of your life as the keeper shows you one of the more lethargic bats and describes exactly how it paralyses its prey with high frequency screeches and then kills it with a single bite to the neck

mammon, on the other hand, is honestly kind of spooked

that bat may be half-asleep, but it’s got the eyes of a murderer

so what if he shuffles a little closer to you every time the bat moves?? it’s not like he’s scared of it or anything! no way!

(please hold him or he may cry)

but then... DISASTER strikes

the keeper looks out across her bright-eyed audience, listening attentively to her explanation of how the vvb detects prey through the slightest vibrations in the air... and asks if there are any volunteers who want to hold it

everyone goes quiet. they’re all looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact like students who don’t want to be picked to answer a question in class. they may be demons, but even they know danger when they see it.

except...

mammon is just commenting to himself in amusement about how quiet everyone’s gotten when he looks to the side and practically feels his heart freeze

your hand has flown straight up into the air, and before he can pull it down, the keeper has called on you

mammon may be just as terrified of that bat as everyone else, but he isn’t going to let you go near that thing without him to protect you

the keeper looks a little befuddled as to why one of the most powerful demons in the devildom is following you up to the front like a very attached duckling, but luckily she goes along with it

first she gives you a super thick dragonhide glove to wear, just in case the bat gets violent

then she attaches the little lead around one of the bat’s feet to the end of the glove, so that even if it tries to attack an uncovered spot on your body, it’ll just get pulled back

(meanwhile, mammon, standing just behind you, is just barely holding back from bursting into demon form and wrapping himself around you to protect you)

and so, as you watch in anticipation and mammon in terror, the keeper slowly moves the bat from her arm to yours

at first it just kind of sits there and blinks and... doesn’t really do much

the keeper, however, seems very happy about this

“it means she already trusts you!!!”

and she tells you to try a simple little trick

“just flick your wrist up and she should swing down to hang from your hand!”

mammon is very pointedly whispering to you that that’s enough, you’ve held the bat, come on let’s get out of here

but you are determined to continue putting your life in danger, it seems, because you do exactly what the keeper says

and it works!!!

piki, which you have learned is the name of this particular bat, lets out a quiet squeak and drops to hang from one of the enormous fingers of your glove

you immediately go ‘wooAAAAAAAAAH’

mammon almost bites his tongue in half because of how on edge he is, but it turns out that he doesn’t need to be

because the bat turns to you, blinks once, and suddenly puffs up around the neck

you panic a little at first, but the keeper seems incredibly excited

“she’s displaying!!!!!!! she likes you!!!!!!!!!!! she sees you as a potential mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

okay mammon is not having any of that

he is not about to be upstaged by a goddamn bat

and so the instant the bat and glove is removed from you, he grabs you by the hand and charges right out of that room, shouting something about it being urgent

leaving poor piki the vampiric venomous bat squeaking sadly because her new crush is gone

sad :(

now mammon is buying you a giant plush to make up for dragging you away like that

happy! :)

and you KNOW this means a great deal because mammon does not part with his money very easily. in fact, most of the time, one would have to physically threaten him into buying something for them

and the fact that mammon bought you a ridiculously expensive enormous plush that probably dug a pretty big hole in his savings without you even asking??? your heart basically melts on the spot

now you definitely can’t get angry at him for pulling you away so suddenly

so instead the two of you go to see the giant narwhals

you’re fascinated, but mammon is too distracted to even look at the narwhals

he just keeps staring at you looking so happy hugging the giant plush he bought for you so close to yourself with this giant dopey grin on his face

(s i m p)

he’s shaken out of his infatuated daze when he hears a camera shutter directly behind him

at first he whips around ready to fight because he’s expecting levi or asmo, but then he looks up slightly and comes face to face with none other than his beloved older brother

lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the tiny grin on his face as he very slowly raises his phone and takes a photo of mammon’s half shocked and half irritated face

mammon is so dumbfounded by how much kinder lucifer looks when he smiles like that. he doesn’t even recover in time to tell you who’s just showed up - you end up noticing by yourself

you should have given lucifer a bit of warning because the moment you turn around and and greet him with such a bright and happy smile on his face he is DECEASED

all you and mammon see is his cheeks going pink but let me tell you this man is screeching like a trapped possum on the inside

lucifer may act like he’s a Big Important Unfeeling Demon but everyone else knows that this man would quite literally bring you the moon if you asked (he probably wouldn’t be able to pull down the entire moon, but damn him if he isn’t going to try)

he has to stay silent for a moment because he knows that if he speaks his voice is going to crack and mammon absolutely would NOT let him forget that for the rest of his long life

once he’s managed to get his puddle of a heart back to a state where he can speak without sounding like the physical embodiment of being smitten, he’s quick to offer to take you to the nearby penguin exhibit

he’s paid attention to the messages he’s been receiving periodically from the other brothers throughout the day about the things you’ve been getting up to with them, and he has seen a pattern in the sort of creatures you like the best

that pattern is: the more deadly, the better, with bonus points if it still looks cute

and lucifer has been to this zoo enough times to know most of the best exhibits pretty well (especially since diavolo’s taste in deadly creatures is very similar to yours, so he knows that any of the demon prince’s favourites will probably end up pretty high in your list as well)

therefore he knows that the devildom’s penguins are about two and a half meters tall, with millions of retractable fangs in their beaks and venom sacs in their necks that they can spray so violently and quickly that they’ve become known as ‘venom machine guns’

and you are ALL ABOUT THAT

you’re so excited by the concept of these penguins that you don’t think twice before tucking your arm into lucifer’s outstretched one and following him off to the exhibit

leaving mammon pouting furiously behind the two of you

now, while the avatar of greed doesn’t dare to directly interfere with his older brother, he most certainly dares to inconvenience him

what does that mean? it means that mammon is immediately whipping out his DDD and shooting a quick message to the group chat specifically made without lucifer to let everyone know what’s going down

and, within ten minutes, every single one of the other brothers are heading right for the penguin exhibit as well

lucifer is in the middle of listening to you excitedly talk about piki the bat when he feels something hit him in the back

he turns to see, with great dismay, that the six other brothers have started following behind the two of you, and have begun taking turns throwing things at him. satan doesn’t stop even when he realises that he’s been spotted.

lucifer feels a vein pop in his cheek when satan manages to nail him right in the middle of the forehead with a screwed-up ball of paper

unfortunately for lucifer (and fortunately for the other six brothers), you quickly take notice of the group following behind you

the avatar of pride can only watch in dismay as you call out for the others to come join you to see the penguins

well, obviously, the others are coming now that you’re inviting them over!!

asmo immediately jumps to give you a little kiss on the nose just so he can see your face light up in all the colours of the rainbow again

(which earns several surprised noises from the other brothers since, while they knew from the pictures from asmo that the two of you had gotten your faces painted, they didn’t know the paint did that)

belphie subtly shuffles up behind you to give you a little prize figurine he spent way too long trying to win on one of the zoo’s mini claw-machine games, while beel attempts to find a stealthy way of sneaking the bag of treats he’s carefully sourced for you into your pockets, but ends up giving up on that and just hands you the bag instead

levi is still on a bit of a high from the mini aquarium date, so his face immediately goes fifty shades of red when he sees you, but instead of running off like he usually does when he’s flustered, he just offers you the WIDEST smile

satan is a little disheartened when he realises just how much bigger the plushie mammon got for you is than greenie... but who cares!! greenie is small and cute!! he most definitely isn’t puffing up slightly like an indignant owl when he sees you hug that plushie to yourself like it’s the softest thing in the world!! no sir!!!!!!

mammon is being kinda whiny about lucifer barging in and ruining your one and one time together, but then satan reminds him that they’ve all just interrupted lucifer’s one on one time with you before it could even really begin, and also points out (a little saltily) that, judging by the giant plushie in your arms, he’s already spent more than enough time with you

(luckily mammon isn’t exactly perceptive so he doesn’t pick up on it or else satan would be in for one hell of a teasing)

you, meanwhile, don’t miss the way that lucifer not so subtly presses himself closer to you as the eight of you are walking to see the penguins

so close that your arms are physically touching

it’s not like lucifer to be this clingy (well, clingy by his standards, anyway), but you aren’t going to bring it up considering that he would probably immediately move away out of ~pride~ if you did

unfortunately the other brothers don’t need you to point out lucifer’s behaviour to immediately start attempting to sabotage him

by the time you all get to the penguin exhibit, you’re surrounded completely by all seven of them, and they appear to be executing a genuine attempt to crush you if the pressure on all sides is anything to go off of

looking on the bright side of things, though, the penguins are SO CUTE

sure, they’re about nine feet tall with beaks full of millions of tiny serrated teeth and very toxic-looking feet-claws. but they’re ADORABLE

you love them so much!!!!!! but now the brothers are being big MEANIES and aren’t letting you get close to the fence

“those penguins can shoot venom up to twenty feet, we’re not taking any chances” so WHAT you just want to see the goddamn penguins!!!!!!!! you’ve survived countless near-death experiences down here, you can manage a bit of venom!

eventually your very pointed complaining finally gets most of them to relent (asmo is still against it, but majority vote says you get to get closer to the penguins, so HA) and you are allowed to go right up to barrier that separates the attraction from the spectators

you’re absolutely delighted, but the brothers quickly realise that their concerns about this whole thing were not unfounded

because that fucking penguin over there is totally giving you the googly eyes

levi is the first to notice - as the general of hell’s navy, he has a natural connection to all animals of the seas, even the ones that are only semi aquatic

satan notices soon after him - he’s been to plenty of ‘taming dangerous creatures’ club meetings, and he knows how to recognise attraction in animals

you yourself are pretty clueless until you suddenly notice that one of the flock is now sliding beak-first on its belly towards you

levi silently hopes you’ll be scared into leaving, but instead you just lean right up to the barrier (lucifer hurriedly grabs you by the arm before you fall over it) and whisper-shriek “hi baby!!!!!!!!!!!”

oh the brothers did not like that at all

but the penguin seems absolutely THRILLED

you’re pretty sure you see its eyes light up. like physically light up, not in the metaphorical sense - its eyes glow

(do devildom penguins understand human/demon speech?? you could swear from the penguin’s reaction to your greeting that they do, but when you ask satan about it later, he just scowls and shakes his head, proclaiming that devildom penguins have ‘a brain smaller than a tangerine and the motor function of a slightly bent paper clip’)

(damn satan you didn’t have to do the penguins like that)

anyway, this penguin, now thoroughly convinced that you are its destiny, hops to its feet, nods its head several times, then proceeds to start making the weirdest noise at you

you don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like a laser beam has been combined with a motorbike combined with a vacuum cleaner combined with levi when his favourite idol group releases a new song combined with that godawful screeching violin satan has been playing on repeat for two weeks just to annoy lucifer combined with, i don’t know, a turbo-charged printer or something. and then the whole thing’s been shoved through a dubstep filter.

it’s such a rattling sound that asmo, mammon, levi and belphie clap their hands to their ears, beel frowns so hard his entire face squishes inwards, satan recoils so far backwards that he’s about two feet further away from you than he was at first, and even lucifer actually physically flinches

(short break for a personal headcanon of mine but hear me out here: this man probably listens to nothing but full professional orchestra classical all day. he absolutely has that thing where his ears are sensitive to poorly played notes or just harsh grating sounds in general. you know, like how lan wangji and lan xichen in mdzs are physically repulsed by the sound of bad music? yeah that)

you wince slightly, but the pain in your eardrums is overpowered by your thrill about the fact that this penguin is actually talking to you

you smile wide and reply, leaning right up to the banister, “hello!! hi!! it's nice to meet you too!!”

if the penguin was happy before then it’s absolutely over the MOON now

it makes the weird honking sound again, nodding its head furiously at you, all the while shuffling closer and closer to the barrier

you are positively delighted by this development, but each of the demon brothers seem to be taking the penguin’s approach as a personal threat both to them and to you

beel’s expression is steadily scrunching up more and more in displeasure as each second passes, asmo’s glare could probably boil the penguin alive, and you’re pretty sure you just heard levi hiss at it

you turn around to try to tell them off for getting jealous over a penguin out of all things, but they are just not listening to reason

the penguin meanwhile is desperately trying to get your attention back by nodding even more frantically and honking so loudly that lucifer actually reels back a little

you try to turn back to it but then belphie decides that he’s going to shove his way right between you and the barrier and block the penguin’s line of sight

the penguin immediately sets up an extremely loud complaint, but belphie refuses to give it any rope at all

at this point the other brothers begin catching onto what he’s doing

mostly because of his weird twin telepathy thing, beel is the first to join belphie’s quest, with his giant frame being substantially more effective as a barrier, while asmo and satan work together to not-so-subtly start ushering the entire group backwards and away from the penguin

you’re attempting to protest, but lucifer is practically shouting over you about how interesting and fun you’ll find the giant giraffe exhibit, which just so happens to be on the other side of the zoo

the penguin is positively screeching at this point, but a moment later is suddenly goes silent. for a moment you’re afraid that one of the brothers have lost their nerve and actually killed it, but then you manage to spot it sliding away again around beel’s massive shoulder

turns out that, though his brothers don’t seem to care about his status and power placement at all, the avatar of greed’s glare is enough to silence even the most passionate of penguins

while the brothers exchange triumphant looks as they lead you away from the penguin exhibit, though, you’re more than a little upset by this whole ordeal.

the disrespect? abundant. the lack of sympathy? rampant. the audacity? sheer.

you make your displeasure very clear by scrunching up your face, crossing your arms, and refusing to respond to any of the brothers when they try to ask you something

goddammit, it was supposed to be a good thing that they saved you from the so obviously dangerous penguin, but now you’ve got them feeling bad

in the end, though, you still can’t stay mad at your boys for long

they all apologise (well, all of them except lucifer, whose pride will forever be his downfall, and belphie, who genuinely doesn’t think he’s done anything particularly wrong), and you can’t bring yourself to keep dampening the mood

so, with a short scolding that’s really little more than a light slap to the wrist to remind the boys that you don’t need to be protected from everything like some sort of delicate glass case despite how much they might think that’s the case, you’re back to your previous happy self

thank fuck

the rest of the day goes smoothly! the eight of you do indeed go to see the giant giraffes, which you actually get to feed, and beel somehow manages to knock down an entire row of rigged carnival targets to get you a pretty wooden carving of a super cool dragon

(you’re still not entirely sure how that happened but it was probably the sheer willpower)

you convince all of the brothers to take about three hundred photos with you in the cheesy green screen safari booths (it was mostly levi, lucifer and belphie who needed convincing, since beel and satan weren’t too fussed about it either way, and mammon and asmo were downright thrilled to do so)

lucifer buys the whole group matching keychains, despite the fact that they were pretty basic wood-and-plastic affairs but still cost a good fifty grimm each

(you’ve noticed that he seems to like doing that, considering the harrison porter keychain you’ve still got from that trip up to the human world back during the whole body swap fiasco)

he gets himself a fire-breathing peacock, mammon gets a gold-hoarding crow, levi gets a sea serpent, satan gets a good old regular cat, asmo gets a lesser spotted spectra, beel gets a manticore (since they’re known to eat more than three times their body mass on good days), belphie gets a giant carnivorous cow, and he begrudgingly lets you pick out the giant penguin design - as an apology for his actions earlier.

(you don’t fail to notice the slightly irritated looks levi and satan in turn both send the keychain as you tuck it safely into your pocket)

all in all

a lovely day out

10/10 would do again

#obey me #obey me hcs #obey me x reader #swd leviathan #swd lucifer #swd mammon #swd asmodeus #swd satan #swd beelzebub #swd belphegor #swd diavolo #swd mc #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #leviathan x reader #satan x reader #asmodeus x reader #beelzebub x reader #belphegor x reader #reader insert #crack #fluff #the brother's one-on-one time is kinda uneven sorry :(( #wow this turned out way longer than i anticipated #just realised that the actual seductive penguin part is pretty short even though it was meant to be the main focus #also they just never ate lunch i forgot about that too oops #unedited #thank god i'm FINALLY DONE WITH THIS #now time to write about the om boys getting into twice lmao

[cyrillean]

"The [comedy] revolution will be televised"

I've been unable to stop thinking about this line ever since I first saw it, like... maybe this is a localization and im reading too much into it, but to me it instantly raised a billion red flags because it follows with a trend sasara's been displaying since forever

like... I genuinely think Sasara is one of the most chaotic neutral people in hypmic and i dont mean that as in haha funnyman be wild, i mean that as in I don't think he has a moral compass AT ALL.

Like, I think currently, all the divisions could be considered anti-chuoku; if not in action (eg jakurai having his hands tied and now working with them, WHICH IS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS THAT CANT END WELL), then at least in spirit. If tomorrow you asked all the division leaders whether they wanted to press a magic button to bring chuoku down, they would probably all do so! Because they're tyrants exploiting the divisions to keep the masses distracted, and by now they have directly and personally hurt all of them in one way or another. Chuoku's system keeps the divisions as cogs in the eternal machine to make sure nothing will be made substantially better if it's not convenient to Chuoku, it's all just empty theater keeping them spinning endlessly in the circus wheel.

...the issue is... when I say "all leaders", really I mean all except Sasara. Sasara would probably just lean back and go okay, and why should I?

Because Sasara really seems to have absolutely no qualms with how good or evil Chuoku may or may not be, how the society they create and keep in place may be better or worse with or without their presence- he just cares about how things affect him and his goals. The DRBs are empty and meant to keep the divisions from rising up and overthrowing them? Yeah, so what? He couldn't care less about whether he's navigating a world that's 100% authentic and meaningful, or totally artificial and meaningless; if he can easily navigate it and get to the top, then it's cool in his book.

Sasara keeps openly and gladly allowing people to use him as a tool in their plans- so long as it aligns with his own goals. I mean, that's literally how Rei keeps getting him to do exactly what he wants with no resistance: every single time, Rei presents Sasara with a situation made ENTIRELY out of red flags, but every time, Sasara goes "well I can get something out of it and I'm smart enough that I won't get taken advantage of without me knowing, so why not"

Which is bizarre for someone whose entire Thing spirals out of trust issues?? You would think he wouldn't like being manipulated. But I think the thing is, as long as Sasara FEELS like he has control over what's happening, he doesn't give half a shit if the situation itself has been very blatantly engineered for someone's benefit.

And that's what scares me: Sasara is the one leader who is 100% totally fine with Chuoku's regime on every level. If Chuoku want to use his team as puppets for some nefarious reason, then, like, whatever? As long as he and Rosho get to win the DRB together, who cares about who benefits from their win.

Between him and Rei, Dotsuitare Hompo have the potential to be the villains of this DRB, maybe moreso than Fling Posse ever were when they were directly sponsored and ordered by Chuoku, and even more than Matenro probably will be even now that Jakurai is officially working with them, because at least Jakurai has massive moral quandaries with the whole thing.

But Sasara is chaotic neutral to the extent I'd be willing to believe that, if Chuoku play their cards right, he would he happily willing to sabotage any uprising among the divisions.

"The revolution will not be televised" is a phrase because true revolutionary activity goes against the interests of those in power, and they will try to supress it or at least control the narrative to paint it as a negative. And I don't think Sasara has any interest in biting the hand that feeds him... no matter how much blood that hand is stained with.

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #sasara nurude #yes this is absolutely a reach and super pretentious and im reading way too much into a little thing but it just #reminded me of this which id been thinking about a lot already #maybe im wrong and sasara would help overthrow chuoku but idk i think he wouldnt budge unless theres something in it for him

[austarus]

Harrison Wells (Eobard Thawne) x Reader Ballistic Confrontations (2/3)

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to its rightful owner.

Word Count: 4578

Part 1   Part 3

Oliver’s eyes narrowed at the doppelganger he had struck down. What a fool. Oliver-X nudged the body with his foot before giving the unconscious Thawne doppelganger a rough kick to the chest. The impact of the sound was drowned out by the alarm. The body had lurched to the side and the man’s glasses flew off his face, yet still no response. A cruel smirk crossed the Dark Arrow’s features, secretly feeling satisfied on taking out his pent-up rage towards Thawne against a weak mirror image. A damned fool to not be prepared for a secondary attack. He should have known better. Oliver hummed to his thoughts, his eyes showing nothing but utter coldness. Ruthlessness. This was his path after all. Weak, just like the rest of this world. It’s so-called ‘heroes’. Pathetic. Oliver looked on with no remorse as he walked through the halls, boots.

“Such a shame.”

This is what needs to be done. An image of his Kara drifted to his mind, the way her body convulsed. The blood that lingered. Her smile fading. But Oliver-X shook it away. She would be fine with their forces at the warehouse, there was enough action going on in order to legitimize the scope of their distraction while he infiltrated his doppelgangers base of operation. Thawne’s labs- or as Oliver thought of it, Thawne’s Castle of Cards. He is the only one among them that knows it tech and secrets inside-out. The Queen doppelganger cracked his neck, readjusting the bow in his hand as he braced himself to face-off with the lackeys that were left over in this forsaken excuse for a laboratory. Everything is going according to plan.

***

Mick and Frost had already left, planning to intercept the Earth-Xers in the Speed Lab. Meanwhile you were to stay with the ladies as backup. Electricity hummed through your veins as adrenaline pumped. Multiple camera feeds showed your friends either fighting or getting dragged to the Pipeline. Still radio silence from the others. You gritted your teeth as your eyes focused on the screen where the fiends threw Harry into a cell like ragdoll. Their first victim. One thing was for sure, Oliver-X was here directing the grunts while his cohorts were distracting the dispatched heroes. Felicity had her tablet handy in case she needed to work her tech magic, shutting down the Cortex mainframe from being accessed by Oliver-X and his cronies. Iris had quickly suggested the vents were the best place to hide until they can determine what necessary steps you three would need to take to get to the others. The three of you would not succumb to the position of sitting ducks. Unfortunately, Iris didn’t have enough time to grab a laser rifle from the closet.

You climbed into the vents first with quiet movements, Felicity following and Iris behind her to seal the vent. Closing your eyes for a moment, you focused- tuning out Iris and Felicity’s hushed words of worry for their men and your friends. You tuned out the dull thrum of electricity that emitted from the labs’ computer system, focusing on one type. Cellular electricity. Human generated electricity. Snapping your eyes open, you lead them down a few routes. The two women chalked it up to your knowledge of the ventilation system as you’d hid here multiple times to escape the tension in the Cortex, but really it had been the intensity of electricity that steered you. The multiple electrical signals that spiked made you keen on navigating away from those corridors and rooms. More Nazi’s would be on guard there. One little scuffle with the wrong group could alert Oliver-X. You breathed a sigh of relief as the neural electricity passed by, unaware of what lies just above.

Iris didn’t know, neither did Felicity. No, they would never know. No one would. No one would ever know that you could shatter a person’s nervous system with a flick of the wrist. Never know that you can put the one of the most vital organs into cardiac arrest. Cardiac arrest usually resulted from an electrical disturbance in the heart. It's not the same as a heart attack. Shutting down cells, yet overstimulating neurons. How would the human body fare? They were… morbid curiosities that haunted you. But rather giving into those conjectures you settled for a milder solution, immersing yourself into the field of electrical neurophysiology rather than contemplating how a person can expire by your will. Eobard had been intrigued with your desire to understand the physiological field that your powers can be derived from. He helped you, of course, entertaining the electricity that sparked in your eyes with understanding. You breezed through medical articles and journals, understanding the neural circuitry and it’s outlets. Yet, your intent wasn’t to kill (not to his surprise), just to render an adversary unconscious for a period of time. Or in a speedster’s case, the ability to jumpstart their heart and motor functions. Stimulating a failing organ, should the situation arise. Even in a way to hypothetically understand how a speedster’s body can siphon off your generated electricity without harming their natural laws of the Speedforce.

But like any meta, there were hypothetical limits and lines drawn, even to a possible conclusion of short-circuiting your own body without careful proctoring. You’d be lying to yourself if you hadn’t wanted to push your abilities further than that, but you hesitated. The desire was strong, but the darkness was too powerful. Could you afford the hypothetical blood on your hands? Would you be able to sleep at night, knowing that you’d be just another monster? Questions like that swirled in your head, but it’s the remembrance of your friends that you didn’t give into that… dark instinct.

You’d done it before. Once. On accident of course, but you were overwhelmed with anger and terror and fear that night. Trudging on, that moment resurfaced to the front of your mind. Your skin prickled as you remembered the sensation. Feeling the meta’s heart stop and mind short-circuit with neural electricity. The body shut down. The electricity out as if you’d turn off the lights inside the intruder’s body. You didn’t mean to. You were just scared. There was just… so much blood. Blood on the ground. Blood on Harry. Harry’s blood. Your breath hitched for a moment, but the two ladies behind you were none-the-wiser. Swallowing harshly, you pushed the image of the dead meta and Harry’s half-terrified/half-surprised face. You both never talked about that incident, nor did he ever bring it up to the others. It wasn’t his right to, after all. Two years had past, but that incident remained with you. You’d sworn that a moment like that wouldn’t occur. The guilt was too great on your conscious even if it was for self-defense. But…

Looking down from the vent opening, you realized your electrical instincts had brought you close to the entrance of the Time Vault. It was the one place Felicity and Iris can at least hold off in. You just needed to buy them some time. Felicity is more than capable of utilizing Gideon into locking the Time Vault, especially without Eobard around. After a few minutes had passed, you deemed that it was safe enough to drop down. You found the panel entrance, unlocking the pebbled room with your handprint to the side of the panel. Felicity and Iris jumped down, your plan dawning on them. You eased them in with a push. The fake panel wall reintegrated shut. You didn’t have much time.

“Find a way to get in contact with the Legends,” You spoke as the door had shut. “Smalls and Tinman should be aboard with Amaya.”

“What are you going to do?” Iris frowned as Felicity got to work.

“Buy you some time,” you breathed, pulling out your gloves. “It’s all that we can work with at the moment before the Dark Archer decides to play Cat and Mouse with us. If anything goes south, don’t look for me.” You needed to make sure.

“But-”

“Iris, please.” Your eyes trained on her, reluctance present in her demeanor. “Trust me.” She nodded. You left.

Now, who would be the cat and who would be the mouse, I wonder? You mused, climbing into the nearest low vent.

***

“Excellent, I will rendezvous at the warehouse,” Oliver-X nodded, his hand on his comm system. The heroes have been detained, her doppelganger seized. His own doppelganger caught. No more tricks. The labs were secure, remnants of the Earth-1 fighters detained. All is going according to plan. His lips twitched up.

“Did you know that the human body can only generate between 10 and 100 millivolts?”

You jumped down from the vent, landing perfectly on stable footing. The Dark Archer had his arrow and bow drawn in an instant, readily aimed at you. He watched you with careful, stormy eyes. You both stood in silence. One move and he could off me, but so could I. Your gloved fingers fidgeted; a subtle flicker of electricity honed there. “Such a fickle thing, really, when there’s an electrical imbalance within the body. Various things can go wrong.”

The Dark Archer’s eyes narrowed, noting the underlying threat in your words. “You’d be smarter to run. Wouldn’t want to end up like the others.”

“I don’t run from danger.” You smiled wickedly.

“Such naïve words from a hero.”

The dead meta flashed through you mind again. The blood on your hands. Would you do it again? For your friends? Your family? “I’m no hero.” Yes.

You two had circled each other in the dimly light room, tension thick in the air. Dust collected here and there, white sheets covered table and monitors. Oliver-X was amused, to say the least, his eyes locked on you with every intent to-

“-To my knowledge you have a speedster in your arsenal.”

He didn’t blink. “What of it?”

You rolled your eyes. Really, such a man with little words. “Take me to him.” Your hand balled into a fist The bulb behind Oliver-X shattered instantly, yet he did not flinch or look back.

As fun as this could be, I’m not here to play games.

“You are in no place to make such demands.”

Neither is he.

“It’s not a demand, just an innocent request. Indulge me, breacher.” You held your head higher, “You’re not the only one with a love.” You sensed his hesitation as he understood. So, you pushed. “The radiation is killing her, isn’t it? Flew too close to the sun, like poor Icarus.” You couldn’t help but taunt him. Oh, it felt good. Felicity had given you the run down, reiterating Alex’s hypothesis in regarding what she found in Kara-X’s blood cells. It didn’t take a genius to understand why they came here. Why they’d come now. With Eobard in tow. “Too much is too much, in the end. But… that’s why you’re here, right? To fix your love before- well, before the radiation eats at her.” You huffed a laugh and paused. Another lightbulb burst. Each out releasing electrical energy. “Right?”

An arrow whizzed past your head, hitting the wall behind you. The Dark Archer’s patience was running thin. You swallowed thickly but didn’t cower. Fear tickled the back of your mind, but you pushed it away. You needed emotions to overwhelm him into slipping. It clouded rational thinking in even the most skilled assailants. Eobard had drilled that into you.

Breep, breep, breep.

The SS alarm rang against his person. You tilted your head at him, curiously watching what he’d do next. If he chose to fight, then so would you with every ounce of energy in your system and that surrounding you. That comm, you could use that. That’s assuming it didn’t self-destruct when out of his reach.

Oliver-X grunted. His time was running, he needed to get to the rendezvous point. “Fortunately for you, I’m in a good mood. However, one foot out of line and you’ll be joining your friends on this earth’s makeshift cells.” He grabbed you by the upper arm and dragged you to walk with him. “That or an arrow to the heart.” Blunt just like Ollie. Well, this is better than being dead. Yay for progress.

***

Yawning, you shifted a bit in your seat. Your hands were bound behind you and there were two Nazi soldier guards to each side. In a sense, you were absolutely bored. Neither soldier paid you any mind and your hands were getting kind of numb from how long it’s been held back there. Basically Oliver-X dumped you onto them and gave them permission to kill should you escape your babysitters. Great. How long has it been? An hour? Two hours? Where were the others?

“So,” You broke the set silence. “Does this job give you guys any benefits, or do you guys have to like… find your own medical insurer? Does your Earth even do that?”

“Silence, we do not acknowledge such petty talk from someone of your caliber.” Soldier 1 had his finger on the trigger as he turned to you.

Someone’s crabby today. “Well, that was rude. I was just asking a question. Are you guys always this ill-mannered?”

“No, Ian just didn’t have his coffee today and he’s pulling some overtime.” Soldier 2 spoke up from polishing his weapon. Interesting, meaning that it’d be easier to take him out since he’s running on lack of sleep and is exhausted. This guy, though, seems more alert so I’ll maybe have to take his buddy hostage before whacking him.

“Devon! You’re not supposed to be fraternizing with the enemy?”

“How is it fraternizing if it has nothing to do with the General’s heart?”

I think he’s talking about Kara-X. “Devon does have a point,” you piped up. “Honestly, just-”

You blinked and Eobard had sped into the room, wind blowing as he had entered. Negative electricity deliciously licked in the air. Your heart skipped a bit as his red eyes met yours, but your mind anchored you. “Get out,” his distorted voice had hissed at the guards, both who had which shuffled out like ants. You weren’t going to miss them, though their bickering did entertain you. In an instant you were free from the power dampening cuffs and Eobard had drawn his cowl down from over his head along with his techy face shield-mask thing. Just seemed excessive. He took a step towards you with a hand outstretched, but you leaped from your chair and stepped back with a hardened look.

“Don’t touch me.”

A flicker of pain resonated in his eyes, something hollow hit your own heart, but this needed to be done. You needed answers from him, so you kept your distance. “This… isn’t the welcome back reunion I was expecting.”

“Screw whatever it was you were expecting,” You spat, eyeing the SS on his chest in lightning bolt form with disgust. It replaced his Reverse Flash insignia. “Nazi’s, Eobard? Really? What the hell are you doing?”

“You’re angry. Understandable.”

“Of course, I’m angry! You were gone. All of a sudden, three years ago. Erased from existence. And now you’re just… here. With Nazi’s no less. You hate them!”

He licked his lips, frustration present in his tone. He did hate them, every last one of them. “I was just trying to survive.”

“Really? Really? Like this?”

“I had no choice. I just needed some time. Time that-”

You shook your head at him, anger sparking within you. “-No, do not give me the whole ‘time’ bullshit. You can save that for Barry. You owe me an explanation before I decide to over-write every one of your friends’ brains here.”

“They are not my friends,” Eobard retaliated fiercely, he took a breath to calm down. “Did Barry not tell you?”

“Tell me what?” You questioned through gritted teeth.

“You want an explanation,” Eobard had spoken before he whisked you away to the top of one of the Central City towers. The air was crisp, drizzle cascading onto the city. You regained your footing; Eobard gripped your upper arms to steady you before letting go. Message received that you didn’t want him to touch you. “Fine, I’ll give you an explanation. When Barry saved his mother and changed the timeline, he had pulled me from that night and caged me. Like an animal. But,” The yellow speedster started chuckling to himself, doing the little pace he did when he did his monologues. Yes, he does it frequently. “He needed me. He needed me to fix his mistakes. He was losing his speed, his memories of the previous life he had. And oh, did I relish in making him say what he needed me to do the most.” You just rolled your eyes, arms crossing.

“Get to the point, Thawne.”

“One thing led to another and certain… things happened with the Legends and I ended up in the Speedforce after the Black Flash got me, after being erased again. Or so I thought. I… The Speedforce works in mysterious ways, you see. It punished me in for my deeds by sending me to the most miserable place in the multiverse.”

“Earth-X.”

“Precisely. You’ve seen just how ruthless they are, anyone with powers that had opposed them were decimated. I couldn’t die. Not again. I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. Not like that and certainly not at their hands.”

“But others can?”

That stung him. Eobard paused for a moment before his eyes reconnected with yours. “No matter what I could do, they would have found me out. To the expense of those lives, they were already targeted for death regardless of how they can plea or be helped. There’s a resistance group, it’s only a gamble of fate if they’re snuffed out or snuff out the Reich. I was confined to their labs because of my intellect and speed. My task was simple. Find a solution to Overgirl. Fast.”

“And that was to come here. To cut open Kara for her.”

“Here’s the tricky part that they don’t know,” Eobard grinned wickedly, giving you that little look that says he’s got a wildcard up his sleeve, “a heart that they’re so desperately chasing after won’t save Kara-X.”

Enlightenment flared up in your mind. Eobard took a step towards you, this time you didn’t back away. He recognized that look. “A heart won’t stop the cells in her body from replicating and contaminating the heart cells once more. You threw them a bone to get here.”

Eobard nodded, “I studied her anatomy, I’ve made the calculations. Even with a new heart she’d just revert back to her previous radioactive state. The heart would be a temporary fix, but her internal organs are all infected. Festering.” The man in the yellow suit rubbed his lips with two fingers, a move he does when his nerves were getting out of his control. When things were going south, and he needed to recalculate and try a different approach. “I manipulated the calculations in order to seem like the heart would be a reasonable solution along with pumping Kara-X with new blood. Didn’t take long, of course. But I made sure I was the only scientist working on this project. I couldn’t have a liability if others were involved, else they would have made sure I would never run again.” The speedster had marked those words grimly.

Your throat went dry. Death had been haunting Eobard since he had gotten stuck in your time, it even followed him to Earth-X, the place of his punishment. You could have lost him without knowing. You did. Back when he get involved with the Legends, apparently. The speedster stepped closer, the back of his gloved hand brushing against your cheek. You flinched back to reality at the situation, back to the reality of him. Eobard’s heart tugged at the idea that you were seeing him as the rest of those monsters. While he was one, he wasn’t like the ones from Earth-X.

“And Oliver-X is too blinded by his love for her that he’d go to any extent to get her back to 100%.” You summed up. Like how Eobard had done anything to come back here. You gingerly took his hand. What a mess.

“There wasn’t a moment when I hadn’t thought of you while there. But I needed a way back, I needed to get back here. Back to you. I wanted to come back, needed to or else I was going to go insane without you. I was going to lose my sanity and myself there. But the thought of you kept me together. And I would do anything. Even if it did mean ‘allying’ myself with them,” he had done air quotes around that word, “in order to get back here. To my Earth. To you.”

His words echoed in your mind. Anything could be anything. “That won’t excuse what you’ve done. What… what you’d been doing.” I can’t fathom the thought of him… carrying out those heinous crimes and missions. Yes, Eobard is no stranger to committing a felony or five. But to the degree of these Earth-Xers?

“No, it doesn’t.” He wanted to ask. Eobard so desperately wanted to ask for forgiveness, but he stopped himself. “But I hadn’t participated in anything regarding their goals. Just the Overgirl project. Oliver-X wouldn’t have allowed me to anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“You already understand the type of radioactive issue Kara-X is experiencing, provided by Oliver’s Kryptonite arrow.”

“Yeah, Felicity gave me the run down. Her cells have too much solar radiation. Cells subjected to such energy can be fatal to her system. The cells are essentially overwhelmed and overworked that they’re misfunctioning. There’s no regulation in her system or that regulation is waning.”

“The project was the cause… of her imminent downfall. She wanted to be stronger, fly higher, hit harder, so she ordered I subject her to solar rays.”

“Eo, did you-”

“Yes, I did.” He had said it without hesitation. The most logical thing he could have done. Oliver-X, he could handle in a fight. Only a bow and arrow with some fists being thrown, no problem. But Overgirl… “Solar radiation exposure in concentrated time increments were implicated to avoid suspicion on my part. And like I had predicted she demanded a higher dosage when given smaller amounts. Kara-X isn’t a patient person, when she demanded results, she demanded them now. I delivered. She is her own double-edged sword.”

“She was your death sentence,” You deadpanned, you squeezed his hand and he winced. She had broken his wrist earlier when he and Oliver-X were at it. She was not pleased with her threat. “Should you have slipped up.”

“When things don’t go her way she’d take it out on me,” Eobard mused, pulling his hand back to take off his gloves. Recovering bruises and dark spots were on his wrist. Your heart sunk further. “Blamed me for her sickness when even Queen understands it was her lust for power that drove her to this extent.” The genius saw hate flash in your eyes as he felt the electricity spark in the air. “It was either I take her out or the Flash and his friends given her remaining time.”

“Either one would have driven her to her death.”

“Quite frankly, it’d be better for the latter, but since Barry and his entourage were sent away.”

“What do you mean they were sent away?”

“…”

“I think it’s best if I don’t tell you, or else they’ll think something’s up if your reaction isn’t sincere.”

You pursed your lips and deeply frowned. You had gotten your answers, more than that, but then that led to ‘Where the hell did they get taken to?’ And then it hit you like how Weather Wizard hit Barry with an ice ball. Eobard raised an eyebrow at you, knowing you’d figure it out on your own.

“No.”

“I’m afraid so, t-” Breep, breep, breep. Eobard cursed, shutting off the alarm on his person. “We need to go back. Now.” Eobard swooped you up, your arms interlocked around his neck before he sped you back to the labs. Chit-chat over. Back to facing the real problem. Overgirl.

***

What awaited you was a scene you were not prepared for. Kara strapped down to a gurney under red light, one you can assume is dampening her Kryptonian strength to a mere human. She squirmed and grunted, but to no avail. She could not break free. Overgirl was smirking over her, such cruelty and intense demeanor a strange contrast to the kind and soft-hearted Kara you knew. Oliver-X watched with indifferent eyes as guards were stationed outside the med bay.

“I would stop squirming if I were you,” Kara-X mused. “Wouldn’t want your heart to give out already?”

“At least I have a heart.” Kara retorted.

Upon your entrance with Eobard, Oliver-X’s eyes narrowed slightly while Kara-X crinkled her nose. Kara’s eyes went wide but blinked her surprise away as she glared at the speedster beside you. She hadn’t forgotten how he said he’d carve her open from earlier.

“Kara,” you whispered, her eyes were brought back to you and you shook your head subtly.

“Well, well. I didn’t know you liked to play with the rats, Eobard.” Overgirl sneered at you and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at her. Eobard gritted his teeth but remained silent. You’ve had worse scathing comments thrown your way since being with Eobard before the accelerator explosion. Being called a rat wasn’t anything. Kara-X frowned at your lack of response. “Now, who’s this little… rodent?”

“That’s none of your-“

“-His love.” Oliver-X cut Eobard off. Kara’s eyebrows went up from where she laid.

Kara-X drawled in morbid amusement with a clap of her hands, “How touching.” A twisted smile ran across her lips as her eyes scanned you and Eobard carefully. Eobard had placed restraints on you once more but had whispered to you that they were loose enough for you to slip out should hostilities arise. “Who knew that the bastard speedster had a heart. Such emotions. A person that actually ate up his lies and loved him. Just another monster. Interesting, interesting. Makes this all the easier to-”

“You lay one hand on her, and I’ll personally see to it that you never get your new heart and he dies an excruciating painful and slow death.” Eobard didn’t smirk at the Kryptonian-X. His words were slow and they were lethal. Rather his signature smirk appeared, “After all, I’m the only one fully equipped and to successfully perform your surgery before your time runs out.” He glanced at the wall clock, the second hand moving along with each tick. “Tick tock, time is ticking. For you.” Kara glanced between you and Eobard then to Oliver-X and her doppelganger.

“You insolent-”

“Kara,” The Dark Archer stopped her, a hand gripping her upper arm harshly. She looked him dead in the eye, so much hate, so much anger. Clouded emotions. Oliver-X’s own eyes challenged her in a silent match, “Enough. Let’s go.”

The pair left you and Eobard with Kara, but not before throwing disgusted looks your way. You turned back to Eobard, who had changed back into his normal choice of all-black clothing. You gave him a pointed look, which he understood perfectly.

Now what do we do?

#eobard thawne x reader #harrison wells x reader #harrison wells #eobard thawne #reverse flash x reader #Reverse Flash #the flash #harribard x reader #harribard eowells x reader #harribard eowells #the flash cw #iris west #kara danvers #kara zor el #Felicity Smoak #crisis on earth x #team flash #eobard thawne imagine #harrison wells imagines #the cw #flash cw

[elisaphoenix13]

When One Works Hard

Commission request from @daisypoisonpen. It was inspired by a TikTok she found and I thought the idea was hilarious. Hope you like it!

Peter knew something was wrong when he got home and fell back onto his bed with his Starkpad when he got home and the internet didn't work. He even tried using the mobile data but that failed to work too. His immediate assumption was that Harley did something, and he got up to walk to Harley's room to confront his brother, but found the older teen looking just as confused. William was sitting on Harley's bed with a book so Peter wasn't sure if he was aware of the issue yet or not, but he was going to hear about it now if he wasn't.

"Hey, did you do something to the internet?" Peter asks and Harley glances up at him from his desk.

"No. I was actually about to come ask you."

Peter shakes his head. "I just got home. Maybe Dad-"

"Dad's not home." William interrupts. "He's had meetings since this morning."

Peter opens his mouth to say something but then he hears small footsteps walking towards him and he leans out of the doorway a bit to find Diana. When she joins him, she holds her Starkpad up to him in confusion.

"Peter, it's not working. Can you fix it?" She asks.

"We're having problems too. The internet is down." He explains. "Maybe Mom knows what's going on."

"Mom doesn't deal with electronics." Harley points out and William closes his book. He wouldn't be getting any reading done until the internet problem was fixed at this rate.

"It wouldn't hurt to ask him anyway. Since Dad's not home, maybe Scott can at least take a look."

Harley snorts. "Dad would break his fingers."

"And Quill will break Dad." Peter says as his brothers get up and follow him out of the room. "And then Mom will find a way to make another time loop and break Quill a million times."

William mutters something about the family being a little too overprotective and psychotic which makes Harley laugh. An angry celestial was very dangerous, but Peter would be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit curious how a time looped battle between Quill and Stephen would go. The Time Stone may no longer exist in a physical sense, but Diana possessed its powers so Stephen would probably find a way to use them through her. If he were desperate enough.

Peter shakes the thought away as the four siblings make it down to the living room where they find Stephen in an armchair and calmly sipping tea. At least it looked calm, but the kids knew better. There was no physical manifestation of the angry aura around the sorcerer, but they knew him well enough to know when Stephen was pissed. Another dead giveaway was the fact that Athena was sitting regally by his feet instead of laying, which meant she could sense Stephen's ire and was reacting accordingly. She wouldn't attack them, but she knew now wasn't the time to be lazing about.

Harley nudges Peter closer and he glares back at his older brother before looking back at Stephen. "Hey, Mom? Do you know why the internet isn't working?"

Stephen takes another sip of his tea, looking up at the kids sharply and making them squirm uncomfortably. Even Valerie, who Peter just noticed was a few feet away having a tea party with Levi, was glancing over in their direction nervously. Of course she was also in tune with Stephen, so she also knew something was up, but Peter would bet money she didn't know what. At least not yet. The bottom line was that someone did something really bad, but it couldn't have been Valerie because she would never do anything to anger Stephen and his fury wasn't directed at her in any way.

"Stop right there." Stephen suddenly bites out and the kids all flinch until they realize that Thomas suddenly appeared next to them, holding Lucy.

It still boggled Peter's mind that Stephen was able to see and time things just right whenever Thomas or Pietro were running around. For the most part though, he chalked it up to the fact that Stephen was Mom and moms knew everything. It was amusing to see Pietro adjust to things as quickly as he did, but that was probably because he was tired of being caught by the back of his shirt when he was running where he wasn't supposed to.

"I was being careful! I swear!" Thomas says as Lucy's laughter starts to taper off into giggles. For some reason she loved it when he ran around with her at full speed.

Stephen directs his attention to all of the kids again and leans forward to set his mug down on the coffee table. It clattered loudly when ceramic met the glass surface and there was even a brief screech that made Peter wince. The others didn't react so he figured his spider hearing picked it up.

"I don't ask for much," Stephen starts and folds his hands in front of his face with his elbows on his knees. "I feed you, clothe you, take care of you when you're sick, and countless other things...but even I have my limits." He says.

All of the kids were standing ramrod straight by now. Peter didn't have to look to know that. They rarely saw Stephen seethe like this, especially when it was directed at them.

"I had a very long day of dimension hopping and I was looking forward to getting home and sitting down with some tea." The sorcerer continues. "You know what else I was looking forward to?"

The kids remain silent.

"My triple chocolate cake. You all know chocolate is one of the few things besides my children that I indulge in and I assumed you all knew better to ask when it comes to my chocolate. So what I want to know is...who ate it?" Stephen asks as he sits back in the chair.

Peter finally glanced at his siblings, because he knew he didn't eat it, but he was met with the same questioning and confused glances. Like Stephen said, they all knew better than to eat something that wasn't theirs, especially chocolate. They all knew it was one of the things their mom loved and they all liked seeing Stephen enjoy something because he didn't seem to enjoy a whole lot.

"I... don't think any of us ate it." William says softly.

"Maybe it was one of the team?" Thomas points out.

"Well until they step forward to take responsibility and they replace my cake, the internet will remain down." Stephen says.

Peter frowns. "Why don't I just get you another?"

"Because I don't want the culprit to think they got away with it. As I said before, I don't ask for a lot and someone had the nerve--" Stephen takes a breath. "Either you can help find out who did eat it, or you can join Valerie's tea party."

Athena seemed to like the idea as she finally left Stephen's side to join the little girl at her table and accept the biscuit the cloak offered her. Peter loved his sister and joined her tea parties sometimes, but today he was not in the mood. He had homework to do for one of his college classes anyway and he needed the internet so he vouched to help find the chocolate thief. Diana and William decided to play with her though, so it was up to Harley and Peter to figure out who was stupid enough to eat Mom's cake.

Thomas went back to entertaining Lucy, but if the internet wasn't back up by the time they both got tuckered out, he would probably help them.

Their search turned out to be harder than they expected. Either someone lied, or everyone they asked really was innocent. They first asked Scott and Quill, but Scott was panicking about a deadline with a security project he needed to send to Luis, and Quill basically spoke for both of them.

"Look, I know we have our moments, but even we're not stupid enough to eat your mom's chocolate in whatever form it might be."

Quill had a point, so they moved on after Cassie offered to help. Everyone else basically said the same thing. None of them were stupid enough to eat it, but some of them were a little miffed that the internet was down until further notice. Harley tried asking Friday if she knew anything or if she could turn the WiFi back on, but surprisingly, she didn't know who the thief was and Victor was currently overriding her controls over the WiFi. So the boys had no choice but to go back upstairs and entertain themselves the old fashioned way. Board games, card games, tea party with Valerie…

They tried the tv or offline electronics but Stephen shut those down too. Peter didn't know the sorcerer could be this petty, but whoever the culprit ended up being, he was going to web them to the ceiling with his extra strength web fluid. Although, he supposed the good thing that came out of this was that he spent some quality time with his siblings over board games. He, Harley, Thomas, and Cassie got into a really intense game of Uno, Diana and Valerie continued their tea party with Levi and the pets --Tibbs had joined for treats at some point--, and William bravely put a puzzle together with Stephen while Lucy napped in her playpen.

It was nearing dinner time when Tony got home and Stephen and William were in the middle of making a pasta dish. Stephen was still irked and even Tony could sense his spouse's irritation when he walked into the kitchen.

"Interesting to come home and not see the kids on some sort of electronic device." Tony greets and kisses Stephen. "Hi Duchess. What's wrong?"

"Until further notice, I've shut down all electronics and the internet." Stephen huffs and Tony shrugs.

"You know what? I could use the break. I'll even have an excuse if Pepper sends me twenty thousand emails."

The two oldest boys look up from their game and balk at him. They were hoping Stephen would have calmed down when Tony got home, or that their father would at least get the internet back up, but they were typical parents. If one made a punishment, the other enforced it.

"But I have homework!" Peter exclaims.

"I do too!" Harley says.

Tony takes off his sunglasses. "Well you should have thought about that before you did... whatever it is you did." He looks at Stephen. "What did they do?"

"I'm not just punishing our children. It affects the team too." Stephen says and picks up the pot to drain the pasta. "Someone ate my cake and until they fess up, no one is getting anything done."

"Your triple chocolate cake that you had in the fridge?" Tony asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes! I was very much looking forward to it after the long day I had yesterday and this morning--" Stephen rants until Tony interrupts him.

"You mean the triple chocolate cake you ate two days ago while we were in bed and watching a movie together?"

There was a pregnant pause with only the sound of water draining from the colander until Stephen slowly set the empty pot aside and turned to regard his husband. All of the kids were staring at the sorcerer at this point, and considering the blush that was creeping onto Stephen's cheeks, it was safe to assume that he had completely forgotten.

"I...um...that does sound familiar now that you mention it." Stephen mumbles.

Tony chuckles. "Oh, honey…the mom in you is on autopilot that you're starting to forget your indulgences." He leans forward and gives the younger man another peck on the lips. "Tell you what, I'll order you another piece so you can have it after dinner."

Stephen coughs and turns to look at the kids and clears his throat in embarrassment. "I believe I owe you all an apology...so I'm sorry. Victor, you can turn everything back on."

"Right away, Doctor." The AI responds.

"Considering what you do for us, I think we can forgive you." Peter says with a smile. "If any of us did what you do, we'd probably forget something like that too."

"But we have learned something from this!" Harley says and Stephen raises an eyebrow.

"And what would that be?"

"How petty Mom can get over chocolate." Thomas answers.

Stephen actually chuckled a bit at that, and true to Tony's promise, he got another piece of his triple chocolate cake. Which he enjoyed with a hot cup of tea after getting the girls into bed and the boys were occupied with homework. Peter did hear a quiet moan which was evidence enough that the sorcerer was enjoying his chocolate, but knew it would escalate so he closed the door for the blessed sound proofing.

He knew his parents after all.

#stephen strange #supremefamily #ironstrange #tony stark #mama bear stephen strange #mama bear au #harley keener #peter parker #william kaplan #thomas shepherd #diana stark strange (oc) #valerie stark strange (oc) #lucy elina stark strange (oc)

[out-of-jams]

Across the Board || i || kth

(banner done by the great @kimtaehyunq )

↠ Across the Board ↞ You’d hit a low point in life. With bills piling up and your bank account empty, you were starting to get desperate. So when you got the invite to your oldest friend’s birthday party being hosted at the most popular underground casino in town, what did you possibly have to lose? You took what little you had left in your savings, put your card skills to use, and entered a private blackjack game.

And you’d won. And went back for more, and more, and more.

Until you lost.

And now you’re indebted to the city’s most dangerous mob boss, forced to pay your dues in blood one way or another. With a gun pushed into your hands and your life at stake; once you’re in, you’re in. You’ll never get out.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings/Genre: Set in the Roaring 20s! Gambling. Mature themes. Mafia!au. Mafia Don!Taehyung. Violence. Law breaking. Alcohol use. Death of minor characters. Explicit language. Enemies to lovers. Short series. 18+

                              || Next | Masterlist | |

Danger.

It was a word right up there alongside the definition for the term “stupidity.” While not next to each other in the dictionary, they were close enough that your brain was unable to pick out the subtle differences. Perhaps you’d just always had a habit for screwing your life up, or maybe it was just genetics. Who knew?

You should have listened to the warnings, should have stopped yourself before you got in too deep. Hell, you should have done a lot of things. But you had no one to blame for your current situation except for yourself. However, if you’d learned anything throughout your twenty-two short years of life, it was that life lessons didn’t mean jack if you didn’t get yourself into messes into the first place.

Though staring down the barrel of a revolver sure was a funny way of going about it.

The air in the dimly lit back corner room was tense enough to hear the sound of a casino chip fall to the ground somewhere beyond the shut door. None of the six men sitting around the round, green felted table spoke a word. Their attention — and yours, consequently — was fixed on the single man in the room who barely even batted an eye at the clear panic evident on your face.

He sat on the opposite side of you; the scowl pulling down his bow shaped lips and the narrowing of his fierce gaze had fear chilling your veins. That man was much like an exotic animal; beautiful beyond belief, but dangerous right beneath the surface. A carnivore staring down his prey. The single light above the table threw his shadow against the wall as he casually aimed his pistol right between your eyes.

“You were saying, dollface?”

His neatly parted, straight black hair fell across his face when he leaned forward as if the next words out of your mouth would seal your fate. Not that the thought of having to have your blood cleaned from the expensive carpet beneath his expensive shoes seemed to bother him in the slightest. In fact, he’d look almost bored if it weren’t for the dangerous gleam behind his espresso irises.

“I—” You cut yourself off, swallowing roughly and glancing back down at the table. A depleted deck of cards sat in the center, two hands laid out on the surface. One was yours — a ten of diamonds and a ten of clubs — and the other his. A red ace of spades and a black jack of hearts.

You were out of money.

Having bet more than you possessed, you were also out of chances.

“It’s simple. You owe me money as promised,” his deep, baritone voice spoke up casually over the noise of your heart beating through your chest. “Either hand it over, or you won’t be leaving this room alive. Your choice.”

You closed your eyes for a moment too long to be called a blink, and cursed yourself for ever getting into this situation.

                           One Month Ago

Final Notice of Payment

Ms. L/n,

This is a reminder that you have a balance of $20.54 that is past due. Please make a one time payment no later than—

“Oh, please.” The bill enclosed envelope hit the top of the small, circular dining room table. Or was it the kitchen table? It was hard to tell, seeing as how they were one and the same.

A sigh escaped your lips as you leaned back against the creaky wooden chair, fingers massaging your temples. That was the third bill you’d come across that morning and every single one of them was the final notice of payment. The last warning they’d give before sending someone to collect what was owed.

It hadn’t always been like that. You hadn’t always been in such an insurmountable amount of debt, not until recently. Two months ago your mother, the last bit of family you had left, died. Passed away clinging to the sheets of the hospital bed she’d been laid up in for the past half a year. Cancer, the doctors had said. From all of the cigarettes she’d burned through in the past decade or so.

Irrecoverable, they’d said.

No amount of “sorry’s” or meaningless condolences could fix the massive amount of money that the hospital billed you. Or the debt that your mother left behind, along with her slim-boned corpse that you’d had to bury in the corner of the city cemetery. Perhaps if you’d known who your father was, you could’ve laid her to rest in the space next to his own, but you didn’t. Weren’t fortunate enough to.

Bills had piled up. Rent for the tiny studio apartment the two of you had shared was demanded by the pigeon-toed old woman who owned the rundown, overpriced building. Her husband had passed away two years ago and ever since then, she’d been relentless. She pounded on your door at approximately eight in the morning everyday, shouting through the thin wood that you had until the week was up to pay what was owed. Otherwise you’d be tossed out onto the street with only the clothes on your back.

Combined with the utility bill and the fact that you still had to come up with the dough to feed yourself, you were trapped. The meagre pennies you got from your waitressing job at the diner three blocks away weren’t nearly enough. Nothing would be enough. Not unless you wanted to sell your body on the street corners in the late of night.

Which you didn’t. And you wouldn’t. You’d be more likely to end up dead in a ditch somewhere with your throat cut than out of debt. The city wasn’t safe for women, less so by those men who saw prostitutes as no more than an object to relieve stress onto. And you refused to become another headline in the paper.

Tossing the opened envelope across the table, you paused when familiar handwriting caught your eye on top of the rest of the mail pile. Addressed to you in a curling script that only ever came from someone who could afford a private tutor. You sighed, carefully sliding a knife along the top to slice it open. A waft of sweet, cherry scented perfume filled your tiny kitchen and you almost rolled your eyes at the unnecessary addition.

Jennie, your oldest friend since high school, always had an inclination for the unnecessary. Born with a silver spoon in her mouth and a gold digger for a mother, she’d had nothing else to waste her time on. How you’d even gotten on as friends with such a gap between tax brackets was still a mystery to you. Maybe it was because she’d always used her wealth and status to get the two of you out of trouble. Whether it was from breaking into the school late at night to get wasted in the halls with the rest of her friends, or to get away with slipping things from the corner store into your dress pockets.

She’d always been a rule breaker.

Which was exactly why when you read the contents of the letter, a laugh tumbled from your mouth. It was an invitation to celebrate her upcoming twenty-third birthday in three day’s time. That wouldn’t have been anything out of the ordinary, however, if it weren’t for the location. There wasn’t an exact address, there never was. Just a thin piece of cardboard the size of your hand that fell from the envelope. A playing card — a red ace. One that looked normal except for the center that had the name of a restaurant in the heart of the most rich part of downtown printed on it.

It was a ticket to the most popular underground casino in the whole city. No one knew how to get one, how to get your name onto the list that only catered to the rich and powerful. Located beneath a restaurant, it had grown to be infamous almost overnight since gambling and alcohol was outlawed. Even the coppers knew well enough to leave the establishment alone.

The only way to gain entrance was by flashing a ticket to one of the restaurant staff. That was what you’d heard, at least. You had no idea how May had managed to secure one, let alone enough to cover what you knew would be a large party of her closest friends.

Flicking the corner of the card, you couldn’t believe your luck.

Your mother hadn’t taught you very many things, had been too busy gossiping with her friends over a carton of cigarettes to bother. What she had passed down, however, was her ability to draw cards. To play blackjack with the best of them. That’d been the only thing she’d ever bothered to teach you; when she’d had too many sips of wine and her eyes had glazed over with memories of the life she used to live. 

She’d sit you down and make you memorize the names and faces of the cards until you could count them forward and backwards. Could predict what card would be drawn and when. Where she’d learned it, she’d never told you. But that didn’t matter now. Couldn’t, seeing as she was dead and all.

Grinning, you flopped back into your chair.

Maybe you’d be able to pay off your debts after all.

And you had. Paid off your debt, that is.

After clearing out your savings account of the last fifteen dollars you had left to your name, you’d dolled yourself up and gone with Jennie and her friends. Had left the group of flappers tittering and groaning drunk at the line of slot machines at the back of the casino. Calls of bets being placed, dough exchanging for chips, and illegal cocktails pouring into glasses played as a soundtrack.

None of the card tables scattered across the underground establishment held what you’d been looking for. Neither roulette, nor craps, nor slots. The bartender had been the one to tell you where the real games were, where the cash was. A door down a tiny back hallway led to a room where private games were held. If you managed to win at one, he’d told you, then you’d win not only the pot, but an invitation to come back and play again.

Which had been an opportunity that you just couldn’t pass up. No matter the risk.

You’d won.

And now you were addicted.

To the money, the lifestyle, the adrenaline that shot through your veins like a particularly harsh sip of gin. Which was exactly why you’d gone back. Again, and again, and again, every single week for the past month. It wasn’t your fault that it was so easy. So simple to swindle your way into getting your name permanently written down on the entry list.

Oh, and the men.

It was a different group every week, but they weren’t all that dissimilar from one another. They’d sit there and smoke their cigars and drink their whiskey, all while silently mocking you with their eyes. Like they thought they were better than you just because they had a dick between their legs.

You were addicted to that too.

To watching the way their faces would fall in disbelief every single time you cleared the pot and took their money. And how their voices would raise in pitch with their countless complaints about how some lowly broad conned them out of their pocket change. Because that’s all that money was to people like them.

Change.

They were rich. You could tell by the custom suits they wore, the cologne they bathed in, the way they carried themselves. The money they gambled with always had a cap, a max amount that they were willing to bet. And the games never got too crazy, didn’t escalate once they lost to you. Which was a shame really, because you wanted more. Craved more. More of what, you weren’t too sure, but the high that playing brought only lasted so long until you came crashing back down.

Which was exactly when fate decided to change the routine.

“Here to play again, miss?” Felix, the same teenage boy who always manned the door to the gambling room, asked with a slight tilt of his head. His light brunette hair was tucked beneath a bowler hat, different from the usual fedora. Back to the door, he was standing up straight instead of his normal slouch. And the way his mouth was taught around the edges was out of the ordinary as well.

The boy didn’t have a cigarette clenched between his teeth, which should have been enough to set off the bells in your head. But it didn’t. Because you were too bullheaded, had gotten too cocky in the terms of things.

“You know me too well, Felix.” You reached out a hand to pat the lanky boy on his suit clad arm lightly, a smile pulling up at your red painted lips. “Is the usual table ready?”

The volume in the casino wasn’t as loud either, nor were there quite as many patrons. But you’d just chalked that up to the heavy rain pounding a path into the concrete outside. Though the lack of customers did nothing to eliminate the permanent smell of cigarette smoke that lingered, hidden in the walls beneath the fancy looking wallpaper.

“I don’t know if you want to play today, miss.” Felix glanced away from you with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. You blamed the flickering light in the corner of the hall for the way his freckles stood out amongst his slowly paling cheeks.

You raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

He didn’t answer. Not at first. Silence lingered in the hall, drowning in the soft jazz music coming from the band on the stage near the back of the joint. It took the raising of your other brow for the underaged boy to finally answer.

“It’s just not a good day for gambling.”

Now that had you leaning forward until you could finally catch his flighty gaze, voice hushed in a playful whisper. “Oh really, how so? Is there a stool-pigeon running about somewhere? Should we be expecting the coppers to come kicking down the door any minute?”

“No. I—”

“Then why can’t I play, Felix?” You were starting to get irritated. The week had been long and you were ready to forget about it all for the next few hours. Buried beneath the weight of a handful of cards and glass full of gin.

Either Felix could see your growing impatience, or there really was something he was hiding, because he stepped even further in front of the door. “You don’t want to play with this group, miss. They aren’t as welcoming as the others are. It’d be best if you just went home.”

“You ca—”

“And what’s going on back here?” That wasn’t Felix’s voice and neither was it yours. You whipped around, surprised at the new addition.

The man behind you had honey brown hair parted and styled carefully until it was brushed back away from his heart-shaped face. Though some of it still hung in front of a single, dark eye. His other was uncovered, a scar running through his eyebrow and cutting it in half. Everything about him was angular, sharp. From his jawline to the slope of his nose and the corners of his full lips.

One look and you already pegged him for a cake-eater, a ladies man, if you’d ever seen one. Hell, he even dressed like he came right off the front cover of one of those Time magazines that littered the newspaper stands on every street corner. With a navy blue suit and perfect, unscuffed shoes.

“No, sir,” Felix attempted to pull the man’s attention from you unsuccessfully. “The missus here was just leaving.”

The Stranger hummed, tilting his head to study you with those sharp eyes of his. “Were you, bunny? Just leaving?”

You couldn’t help the twitch of your nose at the unfavorable nickname, squaring your shoulders and crossing your arms with a scoff. “No, I wasn’t. I want to play a few rounds, you see, but he won’t let me.”

Perhaps you should have felt bad for ratting out the kid, but you didn’t. Especially not when the Stranger huffed a laugh, a distinct ha-ha-ha! in amusement. Though there was something else in his eyes that you couldn’t name. Didn’t want to acknowledge. “You want to play a hand of blackjack, is that right?”

“Ab-so-lute-ly.” You raised an eyebrow at the man and waved a hand through the air. “I can play.”

“Oh,” He asked, taking a step closer until you had to crane your neck back to meet his imploring gaze. “Playing isn’t cheap.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I can pay too.”

He must have been waiting for that answer if the smirk that pulled at his lips was any indication. And he finally, finally broke eye contact to wave aside the boy behind you. “Well, did the dame make herself clear or not? She wants to play.”

You happened to turn just in time to catch the alarm that flickered across Felix’s face as he stepped to the side to reveal the door behind him. Felix reached out with a ringed hand to twist the brass knob of the door. It swung open without a sound and he gave you a quick, wide-eyed stare filled with a warning you couldn’t interpret, before looking away.

“Well?” The Stranger questioned from over your shoulder. You could smell his cologne now; husky with a hint of sweet orange.

His words were an invitation if you’d ever heard one. And you didn’t want to look like a bluenose, a prude, so you stepped inside without hesitation. Though perhaps you should have taken Felix’s unspoken warning, for you had no idea just what it was that you were walking into.

Inside the cramped room was filled with a haze of cigar smoke, which wasn’t unusual at all. What was, however, was the group of six men sitting at the circular table as you rounded the corner with the Stranger at your back. They were beautiful, all of them. A huge contrast to the usual rabble that came to play. Hell, even underneath the dim light you couldn't spot a single flaw on them.

No one noticed your entrance at first.  

Well, at least not until the Stranger cleared his throat. “Gentleman.”

His greeting sounded like it toed somewhere on the line between amusement and respect.

All movement in the room came to a halt as six men looked up from where they’d been bent over the blackjack table. If you’d been a little less prideful and a lot more careful, then perhaps the overbearing confidence that bled from their pores would have given you pause. But as it was, you stood standing, back straight and head held high. Even while their eyes roamed your figure like tigers behind a cage at the zoo right before feeding time.

A pause hovered in the air, lingering with a tension that crawled onto your skin. What seemed like hours passed merely in seconds before it was broken.

“And who’s this?” The question came from the fella who sat in the chair closest to where you stood. He was turned around with his arm propped up on the back of it, head tilted to the side in curiosity. His hair was styled similar to the Stranger’s, though his was darker and the gel pushed through the strands made it gleam silver beneath the dim lamp that hung above the table.

High cheekbones and skin the same color as molten honey, his jaw worked around a piece of gum stuck between his teeth. A smirk pulled up at the corner of his mouth, dark eyes glittering with a touch of interest. With a black and white suit that complimented the shade of his hair, the man was nothing if not a billboard: flashy. Handsome.

“I found bunny here outside arguing with Felix. Something about wanting to play a few rounds of blackjack. Isn’t that right?” The Stranger placed a heavy palm between your shoulder blades. What might have been intended to come off as comforting, only succeeded in making you feel the opposite. Like you were being put on display.

You didn’t let it show on your face. “That’s right.”

“Oh?” Gum Chewer’s smirk grew broader at that, but he said nothing else. Just leaned back in his chair.

“What do you say, should we let her play?” Blond hair, pink kissable lips and dangerous, dangerous eyes. The slim man sitting next to Gum Chewer was attractive in a pretty way that made you envious of his easy-on-the-eyes looks.

While the question may have been asked to the whole room, none of them answered it. Instead they looked towards one of the men sitting in the middle who had yet to speak. If you’d thought the rest of them were a sight for sore eyes, well, they had nothing on him. How your attention hadn’t been drawn to him the moment you walked through the door, you didn’t know.

He wasn’t even looking at you and you already felt tongue-tied. Busying himself with shuffling the cards in his hands against the green felt table, the expensive looking rings adorning his slender fingers caught your eye. He was what your mother would’ve called a timeless beauty. The type of handsome that meant he could walk the streets of the city in nothing but a sack and he’d have women throwing themselves at his feet.

Hair the same shade as a moonless sky made him look intimidating, like he belonged to the shadows themselves. A straight nose, cupid bow lips and long eyelashes that would make any broad jealous; he gave off the type of power that could make even the bravest of men cower at his feet. The longer he took to respond, the more the room grew still. As if your fate was in the hands of a man who’s name you didn’t even know.

Though perhaps it was.

A muffled thud echoed throughout the room as he tapped the deck of cards against the table once, twice, before sliding them over to the fella to his left. Plucking up the glass of scotch in front of him, he finally looked up. And graced you with the prettiest chocolate brown eyes you’d ever seen.

“What’s your name, dollface?”

tagged: @bewitch-me​  @jxngkooksthxghs​   @kaitswrld​  @clarissalance​  @namurkive​ @ifntelyinspirit​  @kotaevln​  @red--aren  @ggukkieland​  @moonlitmyg​  @i-like-puppy-mg​  @aianloveseven​  @drumsofheaven​  @figurativehoe00​ @wonhoandonly​ @wacdon​ @hear-me-growl​ @milaridez7 @1088x1088​ @alana-ba​ @vlntaeg​

#bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #magicshopnet #btsbookclub #ficswithluv #bts #kim taehyung #taehyung smut #jungkook #jimin #namjoon #hoseok #seokjin #yoongi

[whump-a-la-mode]

Hiya! I saw Kirby tagged you and I like to find new writers so here I am!

Could you do 'fainting' on your bthb card if you haven't already? Much love, Xx Dee <3

Thank you so much for your ask! I love your blog, and I’ve been reading it for a long time before I made this account ^^ I love your stories with the Assasin and the Queen (I forget if that series has a name or not, oops)

I’m really sorry about turning all these prompts into Villainsicle. Maybe I love these characters a little too much :)

This kinda happens in the same time period as the last prompt fill. No comfort for Villain this time around, though.

I hope you enjoy!

CW//Superhero whump, villain whumpee, conditioned whumpee, implied starvation, force-feeding, underfeeding, malnutrition, fainting, purposely making someone sick

“You aren’t going to have lunch?”

Leader raised a brow as Medic sat at the table across from them. The doctor’s possessions were few, and they carried with them little more than a messenger bag and a coat.

Around them, the cafeteria buzzed with activity. The meal of the day had attracted quite a significant portion of the base’s staff, leaving most of the tables full. Medic did their best to tune them out, though it wasn’t exactly easy.

Most of the tables were covered with trays and dishes, but that at which Leader and Medic sat was noticeably empty.

“You aren’t, either.” Medic replied incredulously.

“I had lunch with Engineer, earlier. And you?”

“I’m not hungry. Don’t have the time, even if I was.” They shook their head.

“If you’re so busy, then... let’s just get right to the chase. I’m tired. What is it?”

Medic frowned. Their boss wasn’t always the most professional, certainly not, but such a lack of grace was unlike them. Had the situation really been so stressful? At the very least, maybe they’d be able to get an easy ‘yes.’ It was all they were really seeking.

“I just wanted to ask about Villain.”

“Well, I could’ve guessed that much.”

Medic bit their tongue.

“They are still my patient.”

“You’re upset that I moved them from the hospital wing?”

“Less upset, more concerned. Did you forget that they almost died?”

“A repeat of that situation is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. Stress is dangerous.”

“Stress is unavoidable.”

“Maybe. But do you really think it’s a good idea to have the technopath have some kind of meltdown? I like it when my base is standing and my head is on my shoulders.” As they spoke, their voice turned to a snap. “If you want them moved back to the medical wing, I’m sorry, but it’s a no.”

“I wasn’t going to ask.” They had at least known that Leader would be stubborn on that front. They set their shoulders back. “Do you remember back at the hospital, you said that Villain could be useful?”

“You said that, right? I mean, I agree, but-”

“I don’t know, I don’t remember.”

“What about it, then?”

Medic took a deep breath, and made their request:

“If we’re ever going to get their help, we don’t have time to wait. The longer they’re here, the more agitated they’re going to become. I wanted your permission to begin... convincing them, for lack of a better word.”

Leader looked sick. A paleness had crept onto their face, the whole time that Medic had been speaking. It wasn’t fear, certainly not-- it was almost disgust.

“No.” They shook their head. “No. I’m sorry, but... at the hospital, I wasn’t thinking straight. I was tired, we all were. Villain is hurt. Right now, you’re right, they’re your patient, but that’s all. If we’re going to do anything, we’re going to do it after they get better.”

Beneath the table, Medic clenched their fists.

“Then, what do you want me to do?”

“You don’t have to be snippy about it. It’s been a rough day, but that doesn’t make me any less of your boss.”

“I- You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“You will take care of Villain. From now on, I’m leaving you in charge of their day-to-day care-- feeding, watering, and any medical needs they may have. That is all. Understood?”

Medic gritted their teeth.

“Understood, Leader.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

Medic was a lot of things. They were a physician, a surgeon, and the world’s only expert on Enhanced biology. But they were not a babysitter.

They had expected to be put in charge of Villain’s case, of course they had. Leader wouldn’t trust anyone else with something so delicate. But, that had been back when they had believed Leader to be capable of any sort of strategic thinking at all.

Villain’s capture had been a boon, dropped right into their laps. An incredible power, possessed by someone they could mold like putty. Such an asset would be of incredible use, for recon, for missions, for anything, really.

And Leader had thrown it away, for no reason at all.

They weren’t about to let them give up on such an opportunity.

Medic placed a small cup on a scale, watching as the numbers flickered, before finally deciding on their answer. Too much. They poured a minuscule amount back into the container, before weighing it again.

They weren’t about to disobey orders, especially not ones so directly given. But, aside from their academic credits, Medic was one more thing: A master of loopholes.

Speaking to Villain was off the table. It would be too obvious. But, in the end, the brain is merely a slave to the rest of the body. Especially to the stomach.

The human body is dependant on a grand variety of minerals and vitamins and all of the like. A little too much, or just not quite enough, and the whole system would be thrown into a tailspin. The mind included.

The scale gave its final reading. Perfect. Medic poured the contents of the cup into a mixing bowl.

Leader had given no guidelines as to what Villain had to be fed-- only that they had to receive food. The mixing bowl on the table sat filled with white, powdery piles, all stacked atop one another, and flowing together. Potassium, sodium, amino acids, foric acid; everything one would need. All in perfect amounts, noted onto a clipboard.

They took a bowl of cornmeal and tipped it in, taking up a mixing spoon.

It looked disgusting. It was perfect.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

Day One

Medic scrawled onto their notepad, before depositing it into their pocket. From the same pocket, they drew a metal key.

Key in one hand, food (if it could even be called as such) in the other, they entered Villain’s cell.

The prisoner was perched on their bed, halfway hidden beneath blankets. Medic could see their expression fall, as soon as the door crept open.

They supposed they were somewhat glad for the fact. Their captive was already feeble, and their nervous state was hard to ignore. Half of Medic’s work had already been done for them-- they merely had to finish the job.

They held their shoulders back, moving with firm steps, even if their movement was quieted by the carpeted floor. Villain bristled, as though a frightened cat.

Medic closed the door behind themself, ensuring that it was locked, before placing the bowl they held on the carpet before them.

A message. If Villain wanted to eat, they were going to have to work for it.

“Dinner,” Medic grunted. “Eat.”

Villain narrowed their eyes, practically baring their teeth with how far back they curled their lip.

“You have 30 seconds.” It wasn’t a request, not in any form. It was a threat. “Any longer than that, this goes in the trash, and you don’t get to eat ‘till tomorrow night.”

That, Villain took more seriously. They chewed their lip for a moment.

“Fuck you.” They spat, finally, though the way they said it, they sounded nearly to be fighting against their own voice. They wanted to submit. They would, soon enough.

Medic sighed, picking the bowl back up.

“I was bluffing. You don’t get a choice.”

Villain flinched, scrambling backwards. They weren’t quick enough to make any sort of escape. Medic slammed them against the bed, before they had time to react, or even to scream.

A brief struggle left Villain pinned down, atop the mattress, with Medic’s legs holding down theirs, and a firm hand on their neck.

A shove against their throat sent Villain gasping for air, only for a spoonful of colorless grain to be forced between their teeth. They swallowed it, desperately lurching for breath, but finding only more of the tasteless mush.

By the time the bowl was empty, Villain was shaking, struggling for any air. They were, at last, able to take a lungful as Medic climbed off of them, releasing them.

As their captive coughed and panted, Medic left the cell, taking their notebook from their pocket.

Day One

Success

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The human body is a balancing act. A seemingly innocuous ailment may have a thousand different causes. It could be an infection-- hostile bacteria from the outside. Perhaps a cancer, or something to do with the millions of digestive microbes.

Or, a vitamin deficiency. Those with powers were horribly sensitive to such things.

Medic placed the measuring cup on the scale, waiting for the device to give its final answer.

Perfect. Just a third of a gram less than yesterday.

Tiny. Unnoticeable. Perfect.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Day Two

“Eat.”

Medic dropped the bowl onto the ground unceremoniously, not so much as bothering to lean down, first. (Of course, though, they ensured that not a single particle was spilled in the process. They weren’t an idiot.)

Villain peeked out from the covers, under which they were practically huddled like a child. Their shaking was visible, this time, even from across the room.

The doctor forced back a smirk.

“30 seconds.”

That was all it took. In a moment, Villain was wolfing down the mush.

Day Two

Success

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Medic’s pen scrawled over their clipboard.

Intake reduced to .2 grams a day. Subject responding appropriately. Overall reduced food intake has aided process. Subject has not seemed concerned over receiving one meal a day. Whether or not they have noticed at all remains undetermined.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Day Thirteen

Villain didn’t react.

Medic opened the door-- the familiar creak echoing against the walls. They tossed the food down, hardly noticing as a few grains spilled over the edges.

It was hardly a concern.

They looked to their patient.

Formerly flush skin appeared horribly pale, stretched over a mouth hanging half-open, dumbfounded. If Villain had seen them come in, they certainly didn’t show it.

“Eat.”

The command was enough to awake them. They struggled off the bed, bracing themself against the frame before trying to stand.

“30 seconds.” Medic grumbled.

Villain’s eyes widened, ever so slightly, in response to the threat. They fought to move faster, but-

They didn’t even make it two steps. For a moment, their legs stiffened, before they went down in a heap.

Day Thirteen

Success

Medic scrawled in their journal, before rushing off to find Leader.

#whump #whump community #whumpblr #whump prompt #bad things happen bingo #villain whumpee #hero villain whump #conditioned whumpee

[seokjinsdisciple]

It’s a Deal - eight

supernatural! johnny x reader x jaehyun,  mate!au

Word Count: 2.3k

not a great update but oh well

tags: @thatonekpopsweater, @queen-of-himbos , @yourchasingsunsetslove, @a-brooding-bird, @sokkigarden, @tardis-world, @etherealbyeol, @mylovelyjisungie

i made a plalist! listen if you want!! spotify | apple music

send me a dm or an ask to be on the taglist

warnings: language, supernatural stuff, arguing, death, lowkey panic, crying, i think thats it

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series masterlist

You were wrapped in the comfiest fuzzy blanket you owned, legs draped over Johnny’s lap and head resting on Jaehyun’s chest. 

“Why do you get the whole couch?” Jaehyun whined, the rumbling of his chest wiggling your head. 

“Because it’s my house, and I bought it,” you said back, never taking your eyes from the tv. 

“We’d have a lot more space if we were at the palace,” he snarked back, letting out a huff of air as Johnny smacked him on the back of the head, “What? You know it's true!”

“You can go back to the palace whenever you want,” you added, grinning at his pinch to your side.

“You’re trying to get rid of me!” He pouted, returning the slap to the back of the head he’d gotten to Johnny after he let out a chuckle. 

The three of you fell back into silence, Jaehyun’s fingers carding through your hair as you watched the show playing on the tv. You could feel yourself drifting off to sleep, the warmth from your blanket and the two boys surrounding you making it almost impossible to keep your eyes open. You managed to tear your eyes open as Jaehyun stiffened beneath you, looking questioningly between him and Johnny, who had stood up. 

“What’s going on?” you grumbled, sitting up as Jaehyun practically pushed you from his lap. You watched the two brother’s closely, heart rate increasing as you noticed the sullen look on Johnny’s face. Jaehyun looked even paler than normal, his eyes locked onto Johnny’s in a panic that you had never seen before.

“Doyoung just killed our father,” Johnny spoke lowly, eyes never leaving Jaehyun’s. 

You glanced uneasily at Jaehyun, “So he’s...he’s the king now?”

“We need to go back, Jae,” Johnny spoke, “It’s not safe for you here.”

Jaehyun just nodded slowly, the panic on his face only increasing as they pulled on their coats. 

“You’re coming with us,” Johnny added, tossing your coat to where you sat stunned on the couch. 

“But my finals are tomorrow!” you protested weakly, not saying another word as Johnny shot you a look. You shrugged your coat on, not saying anything as Jaehyun grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers. 

The palace was much different from the last time you had been here. The flowers in the front withered and lifeless. The colors in all of the halls were muted, as if the King dying had killed the palace too. 

“It is kinda like that,” Johnny glanced at you, “It’ll stay this way until Jae’s coronation.”

“Why?” you asked, wincing slightly as Jaehyun squeezed your hand tightly, his eyes glazed over and focused straight in front of him.

“The king’s power is directly tied to the palace and the land, so when a king passes away the land kinda dies with it. At least until another king is crowned and it has power to feed from again.”

You nodded, falling silent as the doors to the ballroom swung open. You were met with some of the familiar faces that had watched you so closely from the small thrones around the king the night you had been announced as Jaehyun’s future wife. There were some faces you hadn’t seen before, but from the sullen looks on their faces you figured they were either family or very close advisors. 

You let go of Jaehyun’s hand, falling behind him as all eyes on the room flickered to the three of you. 

“Where the hell were you?” a dark haired boy said, jaw clenching as he glanced from Jaehyun to Johnny, scoffing as his gaze fell onto your form, “Of course.”

“Mark,” Johnny tensed, “Enough.”

“You literally have one job Johnny!” The boy, Mark, raised his voice, “Protect the family, and instead you’re off with your-”

“Quiet,” Jaehyun’s voice sounded from beside you, his authoritative tone enough to have everyone in the room’s attention, “I understand you’re upset. We all are. But rather than fighting with, and blaming each other, we need to band together and fucking kill that bastard.”

“Whatever you say, your majesty,” Mark spoke, sarcasm dripping from his words as he bowed lowly towards Jaehyun. Not giving Jaehyun a chance to say anything as he walked past him, knocking his shoulder into Jaehyun’s as he walked out of the door. 

“Give him some time, dear,” a middle aged woman spoke up, soft smile doing nothing to hide her reddened eyes, “You know how close he was with your father.”

Jaehyun just gave a curt nod, walking over to where the rest of the group stood. 

“Let’s get to work then,” he spoke, sweeping his hand in front of him, a table of roots appearing immediately in front of the family, “Johnny,  fill me in on the position of our men, and the last known location of Doyoung’s men.”

Johnny stepped up to the table, flicking his wrist as a map unfolded on the table. Before he began talking he glanced towards you. 

“Jeno, Jaemin,” He called, “Why don’t you give YN here a tour of the palace?”

The two familiar boys just shot each other a glance before walking over to you and practically dragging you from the room. They closed the door quickly shooting weary smiles to each other before the barely taller one slung his arm around your shoulder. 

“I’m Jaemin,” he grinned, “and that’s Jeno.”

“Hi,” you spoke, returning their smiles. 

“We swear the palace is usually way more fun than right now,” Jeno added, grabbing one of your hands and urging you to start walking. 

“I mean seriously,” Jaemin rolled his eyes, “One assassination and you’d think the world was ending!”

You glanced at him, thoroughly confused at how he could speak so casually about the death of his father.

“Mm,” Jaemin laughed, “Jae was right, it’s way too easy to get into your brain.”

“Not our father,” Jeno grinned, “Our mother’s the Queen, but that man was as far from a father to us as he could’ve been.”

“I resent the fact that you’re ‘getting into my brain’ or however you put it,” you mumbled, holding back from asking if the King was just a shitty father or if the Queen had an affair.

“Just a shit father really,” Jeno added, giving you a sheepish smile as you shot a glare at him. 

“If you really don’t like others listening to your thoughts you could ask Mark to help,” Jaemin spoke up. 

“I don’t think he likes me very much,” you said, almost bumping into the door where the boys had halted. 

“Mark was our dad’s favorite, so he’s taking this pretty hard,” Jeno said.

“He’ll get over it though,” Jaemin added, dramatically swinging the door in front of you open. 

You felt your jaw drop, the enormous room that you were peeking into was filled floor to ceiling with books. You couldn’t help but step into the library, looking at every part of the room. 

“Johnny said you’d like the library,” Jeno smiled proudly, standing beside you and glancing around the room too. 

“This is incredible,” you breathed, walking over to the nearest bookshelf and running your hand over the spines. 

“Ok, yes it has books. Whoop dee doo,” Jaemin groaned from behind you, “There’s a million cooler rooms in this palace. Can we please move on now?”

“You can explore this room more tomorrow,” Jeno added, laughing as Jaemin desperately tugged on Jeno’s wrist. 

“So tell us more about how you and Johnny met,” Jaemin prodded, his arm returning to your shoulders as you walked together down the halls. You were quickly learning that Jaemin was more mischievous of the two brothers, Jeno being much quieter and calmer than him.

“Uh, well we had a class together our first year,” you said, “and we had the same major so we were kinda always together.”

“I didn’t realize he seriously went to human school,” Jeno said, a thoughtful look passing his face as you just nodded. 

“Have you fucked him yet?” Jaemin asked, wiggling his eyebrows as you choked on air.

You stuttered as memories from freshman year flashed in your mind. Johnny’s back muscles rippling against your skin, his abs glistening with sweat. 

“Oh my god he has bedded you!” Jeno practically yelled, slightly disgusted look completely opposite of Jaemin’s knowing smirk. 

“Was he good?”

“Jaems I am not answering that!” You said, shrugging his arm from your shoulder and lightly smacking him. 

“It’s ok, doll,” Jaemin said, rubbing the spot you had smacked with his free hand, “We both know what you are thinking.”

You just groaned, hitting Jaemin first and then deciding to hit Jeno too. That’s for reading my mind you assholes.  

“It’s not our fault,” Jeno pouted, “You’re practically screaming them at us.”

“Just get on with the tour,” you sighed, trying your best to keep your mind empty as they returned to their mission. They led you to the kitchen, through four dining rooms, around the art gallery and into the game room. Constantly making fun of your looks of awe. They hurried you through the jewel room, pointed out the gym and swimming pools. They even led you to the liquor room, Jaemin pressing a finger to his lips as he grabbed a bottle of wine. 

Jaemin pointed out far too many bedrooms for you to remember, laughing as you tried to figure out who the hell half of the people he was even naming were. He pointed out both Jaehyun’s and Johnny’s room, giving you a knowing look as you tried to commit both of the locations to memory. 

It was with a smile that you found yourself stumbling down a familiar hallway, Jeno pointing out his room, and then your own room. 

“And at the very end of the hallway is my room,” Jaemin winked, “So if you ever need someone to keep your bed warm, you know where to find me.”

“I really hope you’re kidding, brother,” Johnny’s voice rang out from behind the three of you. 

“You know I always am,” Jaemin smiled easily, giving you a short wave before walking the rest of the way down the hallway and into his bedroom. 

Jeno looked awkwardly between where you and Johnny stood before muttering out a quick goodnight and walking to his room.

“I hope they didn’t bother you too much,” Johnny said, walking closer to you and taking you by the hand, “The twins can be a lot to handle.”

“They were mostly nice,” you smiled at him, laughing as you heard Jaemin swear at you from down the hallway. Johnny smiled back at you, but you could tell he was exhausted. 

“Am I that easy to read?” he asked, pulling you into your room. 

“Mhmm,” you nodded, letting him pull you onto one of the couches in your room, “You wanna talk about it?”

Johnny just slid his hands across his face, in some attempt to relieve some of the tension in his body. 

“I just feel like this is my fault,” he started, playing with your fingers as he talked, “I should’ve been here to prevent the attack.”

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, “If anything, I feel like it’s mine. I’m just some helpless human girl that has no business being involved in any of this. You were just trying to make sure I was ok.”

“Yeah but that was for completely selfish reasons,” he groaned, “and to be honest I’m feeling kinda guilty because I think I’d still make the same decision.”

“Can I ask why?” you spoke quietly, meeting his eyes, “Why are you so set on protecting me?”

“I can’t tell you that yet,” he said simply, looking away from you. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments after that, the air heavy around you as you thought. 

“When can I go back?”

Johnny looked over to you, and you could tell by the look in his eyes that you weren’t going back anytime soon. 

“It’s just safer for you to be here,” Johnny said, looking down at the hand that was intertwined with yours, “and now that Jaehyun has...transitions to make it’s important you’re around as many people who can protect you as you can.”

The two of you jumped slightly as a loud knock rang out on your door. 

“It’s Jaehyun,” Johnny said, pressing a kiss to your temple, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You watched as his form disappeared with a snap, the space where he had been sitting next to you, now empty. You got up as another knock sounded at the door. 

As soon as you threw the door up Jaehyun was hugging you, his shoulders shaking as he whimpered. You immediately hugged him back, pulling him into your room and out of the hallway. 

He was almost choking on his sobs, and you patiently held him until he calmed down.

“M sorry,” he hiccuped, “It’s just, you’re the only one I can show my weaknesses too.”

“Don’t apologize,” you said, rubbing his back as he still clung to you. 

“I don’t even want to be King,” he whispered, “I never have. I used to think that it would be a long time before it would happen, and I- I just thought I had more time. I’m not going to be any good at it.”

“Jaehyun you’ll be a fine king.”

“I’m not ready,” he whispered, “Everyone thinks I’m this perfect prince, ready for anything but they have no idea.”

You ran your fingers through his hair, his breathing regulating. He sniffled as he pulled away from you. His shy smile, teary eyes and flushed cheeks enough to have your heart racing. 

“Do you mind if I sleep here tonight?” he asked, “I just don’t think I can bear sleeping alone tonight.”

“Of course,” you smiled back, wiping the tears from his eyes before you both began getting ready for bed.

#johnny x reader #johnny smut #johnny scenarios #supernatural!johnny #johnny fanfic #johnny fluff #johnny angst #johnny #supernatural!jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun angst #jaehyun #supernatural!nct #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct angst #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct #nct 127

[pleasereadmeok]

Matthew Scene by Scene - A Discovery of Witches Season 2 - Episode 9  #7 - Matt and Bess.

Spoilers if you haven’t seen ADOW season 2 episode 8 + book spoilers.  

At Water Lane, Cecil finds the Book of Life and declares that Matthew won’t be needing his books anymore - due to the lack of a head.  Meanwhile, Matthew returns to talk to Queenie.  

Everything depends on what he says and does now.  Matthew starts with a deferential bow.  He needs to show he is completely in Liz’s power now or it’s over for him.

Queenie doesn’t really looked shocked at his return, or angry for that matter.  She just looks sad.   

Matthew gives Liz a slight smile and she watches as he bites his finger to draw blood.

Eew!  But Liz doesn’t react in that way.  She looks on intently but it’s like she knows exactly what he is doing and that this is something she has seen before.  

Matthew’s actions are charged with something else.  It’s an intimate moment and it is telling us something deeper about the relationship of trust between these two.

Matthew extends his finger, complete with a drop of his precious healing blood, towards Liz with a little tilt of his head and a smile. 

Queenie grabs Matthew’s hand but she obviously knows he is trying to help her so she relents as his finger lands on her aching tooth.   

Again - EEW!   The relief from pain seems to be immediate. But will that be enough to put the Queen in a better mood?  Don’t think so.

Liz looks so sad and wistful when she says that Matthew’s blood could make her immortal.  Matthew patiently explains that making her a vamp and altering the course of history was not something he would do - as he told her father Henry VIII before her.  Interesting.  So maybe Liz has known Matthew all of her life.  In the books we learn that he was one of Henry’s trusted aides in a former life as Sebastian St Clair.  I always think that name conjures up an image of a lothario, a serial seducer of the women of the Court. I imagine Seb St Clair to be like Matthew Goode’s fantastic portrayal of the seducer George Wickham.  But that’s just me - and purely based on the name.  But if anyone wants to take that idea and write about it - I’ll read that!  

Anyway - back to the scene.   Matthew reckons a vamp queen on the English throne would lead to chaos but on the contrary Liz feels that her death would lead to chaos coz her enemies snap at her heels.  

What will happen when I am gone?! 

Matthew sees his chance.  He reassures Queenie about her future and how the Spanish and the witches need not concern her.  How can you possibly know your Queen’s future? 

Because I have seen it.

Matthew tells the truth about Diana and his presence in the 1590′s and guess what?  Liz believes him - in her heart she knows it is true. 

You are a future Matthew.  

Your true Shadow would not have disappointed you so. 

Liz gently places her hand on Matthew’s cheek.  It is an intimate gesture that we can guess has often happened before.  

Liz asks about her realm.  

It is secure. 

And Matthew plays his trump card and feeds Queenie’s vanity by assuring her of her glorious place in history.  

Right on cue the lighting flares to bathe Liz in a regal glow. 

Matthew obviously feels his work is done - you can almost hear the mic drop. 

As Matthew leaves, Queenie ends the audience with a wistful - Matt. Thank you. 

You’re welcome, Bess.

OMG - where do I start with this.  I LOVED this whole scene.  

In the book, the scene plays out with Diana in the room as well but I think it was a goode call to keep the scene as an intimate two hander.  Even if you haven’t read the books you can pick up how close these two have been in the past.  Bess has known Matt for years and he has been this unchanging, gorgeously handsome man in her life.    In the books Diana concludes almost straightaway that Liz is in love with Matthew and has been for a very long time. Their relationship had gone beyond mere ‘favourite’ and monarch.  They were close, very close.  How close?  Well for a young Princess, and then Queen, who could never risk her ‘virgin’ status being blown out of the water with an unplanned pregnancy, a vampy boyfriend would be pretty ideal wouldn’t it?  This is hinted at in the books. Maybe I imagined that - someone correct me if I’m wrong.  At the very least, it’s clear that Liz had a longtime crush on the handsome Seb. 

Elizabeth wants to live forever and is pining for her youth and former beauty when, perhaps, Matthew/Seb was the object of her affection.  Now, poor Queenie is old and her looks have gone but her former ‘lover’ [?] has the audacity to still look like a GOD and marry someone who is not her.   Also, you can see that it was not all one sided.  There is a gentleness in Matthew’s conversation with Bess in this second audience, like he is remembering the goode times as well.  

It was never gonna end well but it feels like they have reached an understanding.  In the books ( so far) we don’t find out if these two ever met again but if this was their last meeting - it was a goode end. 

All of the awards for these two for such a poignant and wonderfully played scene.  Matthew is a totally brilliant actor and he was perfect in this scene.  I’ve not seen much of Barbara Marten before coz she’s been in TV stuff like ‘Casualty’ [basically a hospital soap?] that we don’t watch but she was so goode in this role - maybe the best portrayal of Liz that I’ve seen.

I just want to end on the make up, coz Barbara Marten is a beautiful older women who I would LOVE to look like when I am 74 coz ..... look at her!

The ADOW make up department worked a bloody miracle.

[Pics - ADOW S2:09 edits/screenshots]

#matthew goode #a discovery of witches #adow #adows2 #adow spoilers #barbara marten