Stephen: my biggest talent is being stress.
Tony: do you mean stressed?
Wong: no he doesn’t
The ancient ones ghost: unfortunately not
Stephen: sadly, no
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Tony: there’s only two things I love more than myself.
Tony: coffee, Stephen, sex with Stephen, nice cars, a relaxing vacation, robots-
Rhodey: That's more than two. You know that right?
Tony: yeah, I just really hate myself lol
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Harley, sarcastically: okay, *mom*
Stephen: You think calling me Mom will make me change my mind but you still can't stay the night with miles.
Harley: why not???
Stephen: because I’m your mom and I wasn’t born yesterday
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Teen Morgan: I like girls
Peter: I like boys
Tony: okay, Harley? Have any big announcements?
Harley, looking up from the potato grenade he’s building: huh?
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Harley: Dad, what would you like for Father's Day?
Tony: For you stop pranking your siblings and the Avengers, and maybe stop using a god as target practice.
Harley: I'll make you a card.
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Interviewer: Are you going to be the next Iron man?!
Nick Fury: He's an avenger
Another Interviewer: Are you taking over as leader of the avengers?
Interviewers: *continue to swarm him with questions*
Peter: *close to crying* I'm just a kid!
Peter: *starts to have a panic attack and runs off stage past Stephen, ignoring him calling for him to come back*
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Peter: Happy fathers day
Harley: The only boomers I respect here.
Stephen: ...This mug says World's best mom
Tony: Mines says best step uncle
Harley: Just use a sharpie
Peter: We waited last minute and this what was left..
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Tony: woah!!! Why didn’t you tell me you were gay?
Stephen: why didn’t you tell me you were straight?
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Stephen: hey Tony I’m going to the store, do you want anything?
Tony: my dead fathers love and affection
Stephen: yeah I have like three dollars on my debit card-
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A White Wedding
“You look good Mr. Stark.” Peter complimented as Tony helped the teenager do up his tie. Tony smiled as he finished.
“Thank you Pete, and you know you don’t have to keep calling me Mr. Stark.” Tony replied. He’d officially adopted the teenager a few months prior since they’d already basically been father and son, he figured might as well make it official. He moved to look into the big mirror in the room. He wore a dark blue tailored suit with a white button up shirt underneath. Peter was dressed in a matching suit and tie.
“Are you nervous?” Peter asked, looking at his own reflection in the mirror.
“A little bit, but you won’t tell anyone right?” Tony asked jokingly. Peter nodded quickly.
“Hey Tony are you ready?” Happy asked, opening the door to the room and peeking in. Happy was dressed in a suit as well, and not far behind him was Peter’s aunt who started gushing over how handsome Peter looked and taking pictures of him. Tony nodded and together the four of them made their way outside. One advantage of having a wizzard for a boyfriend was the ability to go anywhere at any time, so as they walked outside the bright colors of cherry blossom trees lining the path to the small alter they’d set up.
The ceremony was small, and Tony had agreed to no paparazzi being there, only close friends. Sitting in the chairs facing the alter were of course the Avengers, Pepper and Christine, as well as a few of the masters of the mystic arts, and a couple of Peter’s friends too.
Tony, Peter, and Happy all made their way up to stand at the alter, Tony next to the priest, then Peter and Happy behind him, both of them being his best man. Tony did his best not to fidget nervously as he waited and when the music finally started he only had eyes for the man walking down the aisle.
Stephen walked down the aisle, Wong at his side because Stephen hadn’t wanted to walk the aisle alone, in a light blue suit accented with white. Stephen locked eyes with Tony almost immediately and smiled happily at him, Tony returning the smile with obvious joy.
When Stephen finally reached his side and Wong moved to stand behind him, the ceremony began. Eventually they were asked to read out their vows as they put a ring on the other’s finger.
“Stephen, you make me so very happy. You make me want to be a better person than I am, and be the best dad to Peter that I can be. I can only hope that I’ll be half as good at is as I know you will be. You managed to turn this playboy into someone who was willing to settle down and enjoy a family with you, so I look forward to our future together. I love you.”
“Tony, I spent years dedicating myself only to being a doctor, and then to being the Sorcerer Supreme. I never saw myself wanting any of this, but that changed the moment I met you. You’ve changed my life for the better and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You accept me for who I am, flaws, scars and all. I love you too.”
The priest smiled and turned to look at Tony. “Do you Tony Stark, take Stephen Strange to be your lawfully wedded husband, until death do you part?”
“Do you Stephen Strange take Tony Stark to be your lawfully wedded husband, until death do you part?”
“Then I pronounce you husbands, you may kiss.”
Their guests all cheered for them as they met in a kiss, both smiling like love struck idiots when they finally parted.
“Ready to spend the rest of our lives together Mr. Stark?” Tony asked, nearly giggling with glee.
“I am ready Mr. Strange.” Stephen replied happily. They shared another kiss, before heading down to party with their guests, both radiating happiness and joy.
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Happy father's day to the world's coolest dad, I couldn't have asked for anyone better ❤️
Thank you for everything, from not murdering me when you find me sneaking back in from patrols, to cleaning me up after I've done something dumb and gotten hurt. you're one of a kind and absolutely amazing
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Stephen: I have stopped drinking for good.
Tony: wow, that’s cool, honey-
Stephen, popping the cap off a bottle of tequila: now I drink for EVIL
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Stephen: Tony I'm home, how was your day with the kids?
Tony: Oh you know, it went good
Stephen: Tony what the fuck did I tell you about swearing in front of the children?
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Stephen: if aliens ever come I’m going with them immediately. I don’t care if they kill me right away I’m taking my chances
Wong, sighing: what did Tony do now
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Stephen: life is a highway and I am hydroplaning violently into the cement divider
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Tony: just because I’m handsome and smart and perfect doesn’t mean I don’t have flaws hahaha
Stephen: okay? Then name one
Tony: I’m currently bleeding out lol
Stephen: hOLY FUCK T O N Y-
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Mysterio: You can't possibly hope to beat me! Your Avengers are all to busy to come here to help you
Peter: Yeah they are, but they aren't Avenger *points to the side where a portal opens and Stephen and Wong walk through*
Stephen: Peter are you okay?
Peter: No! He lied to me and took Dad's glasses from me!
Wong: That bitch
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Peter: *gets badly injured fighting a villain and sent to the hospital*
Stephen & Tony: *Rush to the hospital and into Peter's room*
Stephen: Peter?! Are you okay?!
Peter: *looks up at them confused* Who are you?
Tony: *crying* Peter we're your dads remember?
Stephen: Oh God he has amnesia
Tony: *cries harder*
Peter: At what point does it stop being funny that I was faking it
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Stephen: I left notes of instructions for everyone this Evening.
Harley: mine just says ‘Harley NO’
Stephen: and I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
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Stephen: Tony and I don't have petnames for each other
Christine: Really? Then what do bees make?
Stephen: Uh… honey?
Christine: damn I really thought that would work
Stephen: told you, dumbass
Tony, from the other room: Yes douchebag?
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