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#jaehyun fluff
yunopouts · 5 months
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trick or treat - j. jaehyun
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→ jeong jaehyun x neighbour! reader
-> dilf! jaehyun au
→ CW: dom! jaehyun, breeding kink (jae's horny, i'm horny, everyone if fucking horny), age gap (reader is in mid-20’s and jae is a divorced 29yo Jae), unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, handjob, oral (f receiving), praising, pussy slapping, biting, spit kink, oral fixation (jae), there are some cringey lines (i'm sorry but i wanted to have them in there but i didn't know how else to phrase them T-T), jae's thick in this one guys :D
-> a/n: omg haii ^-^ okay so this one isn't necessarily halloween related but his kid in the fic is going trick or treating so it counts!!! Jae is DOWN BAD in this one y'all. also just an fyi, this one has a lot more dialogue since they have more of a relationship and it's not just mindless sex this time?? but there still is quite a lot of sex??? okok enjoyyyyyy
-> wc: 6k
-> upcoming: switch! yuta (playboy yuta :) will explain more on that later) psst! requests are open!!
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“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jaehyun’s face dropped as he read the email he had just been sent. Cursing under his breath, the man pushed away from his desk and poked his head out the door. 
“Hayoung,” he said. The woman at the desk looked up at him and from the look on her face, she knew what he was going to ask.
“Sir, I’m so sorry…” and she truly did sound sincere. “Gongmyung had no other times available to meet. He’s leaving for London tomorrow morning.” 
Jaehyun pursed his lips as he nodded. He felt awful that he couldn't take Subin out tonight, but he had one idea that could make his daughter feel better. 
The man checked the watch on his wrist, reading the time as 5:30pm. If he left now, Jaehyun could be at Subin’s school for 6:15pm to pick her up from daycare, talk to her, and bring her home for 6:45pm before he had leave the house by 7:30 to be back at the office for 8:00 pm to meet the clients for dinner. 
 “Alright, I have to leave now, but I’ll be back in time for the meeting.” Hayoung looked as if she was going to object, but instead she just nodded her head. Jaehyun grabbed his jacket from his office before pulling his phone out from his pocket. As he walked to the elevator, he scrolled through his contacts, searching for your name. 
As Jaehyun stood, waiting for the elevator, his heart raced with both the urgency of the situation and the lingering nervousness he got when you spoke. His thumb hovered over the call button when he hesitated. He took a deep breath and leaned against the glass railing behind him, feeling a pang of worry gnaw at him. Would he be imposing on you once again?
The elevators hummed softly as they stopped at different floors of the building while Jaehyun debated with himself, the prospect of the impending meeting weighing heavily on his shoulders. He decided to call you, but not just for Subin’s sake, for his too.
“Hello?” Your voice on the other end had a certain warmth, and it sent a shiver down Jaehyun’s spine.
“Hey,” Jaehyun let out a sigh at the sound of your soft voice. His voice tinged with the tension that had been building in the pit of his stomach ever since he received that email.
“What’s wrong? You sound stressed.”  You grew concerned when you realised how his voice was quieter than usual.
“It’s just work stuff…” Jaehyun’s shoulders slumped. “I really hate to ask you this,” And he really did. “I was wondering if you could watch Subin tonight? I know it’s Halloween, and it’s super last minute, but I was just scheduled for a meeting, and you’re the only one she’d want to go with.” the disparity in his voice ran deep, but you didn’t have any plans anyways, so why not?
“Of course, Jae.” You said, and the man sighed with relief. “What did she dress up as for school?” The calmness in your voice soothed Jaehyun’s nerves. The elevator sounded as it arrived. After the doors opened, Jaehyun entered and leaned against the wall as he felt a strange mix of emotions. 
“She decided she was going to be Elsa and when we went trick or treating, she wanted me to be Anna.” There was a moment of silence, but Jaehyun already knew what was about to happen. As the man closed his eyes momentarily, you burst out laughing on the other line.
“You were really going to dress up as Anna for her?” you asked, your voice was laced with amusement that made Jaehyun chuckle. 
“It was either that or Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame.” A hand ran over Jaehyun’s face in embarrassment, remembering the conversation he had with his seven year old daughter last month when they were discussing costume ideas. 
“What, did she want to be Esmerelda?” you asked with a scoff.
“No, she wanted to be Laverne.” Jaehyun groaned, wondering from whom his daughter gets her ideas from.
“The gargoyle?” you cried. You held the phone away from your ear as you laughed loudly, clutching your stomach. 
“Yeah,” the man replied, looking at his shoes with a smile, the sound of your laughter resonating with him. “How much do you want me to pay you?” he asked as he walked out the elevator and to the entryway of the building. He waved to the secretaries and to those who greeted him with a smile.
You tried to reason with him, arguing that you didn’t need the extra compensation, but Jaehyun’s insistence on repaying your kindness only heightened the nagging tensions between the two of you.
“Jae, you really don’t have to, you know I’d do anything for you guys.” Your voice was gentle, “You know I feel bad asking you to watch her without paying you.” Jaehyun’s voice dropped lower, carrying an undertone of a deeper emotion with it. 
As he exited the building, silently thanking the valet driver for his keys.
“But I’m telling you that you don’t have to.”
Your attempt to reason with him was met with Jaehyun’s unwavering determination. “We’ll talk about it later.”
With no room for further discussion, you conceded, “I’ll see you at seven, then.”
“I’ll see you then.” Jaehyun confirmed, the tension settled down thickly in the air.
“Bye, Jae.” You said softly. 
“Bye, y/n.” Jaehyun replied, the sudden strain in his voice giving way to a sense of longing as he entered his car.
Sitting in the driver’s seat, Jaehyun gripped the steering wheel and looked down, feeling a slight strain in his pants. “Jesus fucking Christ…” the man muttered. “What am I, twelve?” his head fell back against the headrest in frustration. 
Jaehyun rolled down the window before he began to drive, in hopes that the cold breeze would clear his mind of the thought of you, and focus on what was more important: trying to find a way to tell Subin that he can’t take her trick or treating. 
-
By the time Jaehyun had parked in the school parking lot, he had nothing. He still didn’t know how to tell his daughter the news. Taking a deep breath, Jaehyun pushed open the car door and got out of the vehicle before locking it and heading to the waiting area. 
Minutes later, the bell rang and children of all ages flooded out the doors. Jaehyun stood amidst the sea of children pouring out of the school, his eyes scanning the crowd for a familiar little girl in an Elsa costume. He spotted her soon enough, her blonde wig glistening in the autumn sun, and a smile spread across his face. Subin was chatting excitedly with her friends, and he knew he had to break the news gently. 
He approached her, kneeling down to her eye level. “Hey, princess,” he greeted her with a warm smile. 
Subin’s face lit up at the sight of her father. “Daddy!” she squeaked and launched herself into his arms. Jaehyun laughed as he almost stumbled onto the floor, but his arms wrapped around his daughter tightly. 
“Come on, let’s get you to the car.” Jaehyun stood up carefully with his daughter still in his arms. As he walked, Jaehyun sucked in a deep breath before he told his daughter the bad news. “Subin, about tonight…”
The girl looked up at him with curious eyes. “What is it, Daddy?”
Jaehyun cleared his throat, trying to find the right words. “Well, I know how much you were looking forward to trick or treating tonight, and I was really excited too, but something came up at word.” He paused, gauging her reaction.
Subin’s smile faded, and her brows furrowed. “Do you have a meeting tonight, Daddy?”
Jaehyun’s heart felt like it was breaking off piece by piece. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, I tried to reschedule it for later, I really did, but it didn’t work out.” Jaehyun frowned, but his daughter smiled. 
“It’s okay, Daddy. Do you think you’ll be back to watch HalloweenTown with me?”
“I’ll do my best, okay? I promise I’ll make it up to you sweetheart.” Jaehyun promises. “Until I come back home, I asked the lady from the floor below us to watch you, you remember her, right?”
“The pretty lady you invite over every weekend? I remember her.” Subin nodded, unaware of how red her fathers ears had turned.
“She doesn’t come over every weekend.” Jaehyun mumbled, looking away from his daughter as they arrived in front of the car. 
“She does… Dohwa even asked me if she was my mom.”
“Oh…” he replied simply. Jaehyun stayed silent as he sat his daughter in the booster seat behind the passenger’s side, the thought almost consuming him. 
Dohwa asked if she was her mom…
After he clicked her seatbelt in, Jaehyun shut the door and headed for the driver’s seat, still entirely thinking of you… as a mother…
The man paused right as he was about to open the door when he felt the same stiffness from earlier, and he had to stop himself from screaming curses at the sky. Jaehyun closed his eyes and swallowed harshly before he opened his eyes and entered the car like nothing had happened to him.
“Daddy, can we listen…”
“Of course,” Jaehyun gave his daughter a smile through the rearview mirror. He knew exactly what the kid was asking for, and with a few presses of some buttons, the intro of the infamous ‘Let it Go’ from the Frozen soundtrack was blasting from the speakers, and Subin was belting out the words.
The rest of the ride was filled with more Frozen, which consisted of duets, the respective solo’s of both Jaehyun and Subin, and the booing of Hans whenever he sang in Love is an Open Door. 
Jaehyun had arrived at the condo building at 6:45pm, “Right on schedule,” he said to himself as he walked to the other side of the car to help his daughter out of the car. “Come on, sweetie,” he said, lifting her into his arms. With how adorable she was in her Elsa costume, he was determined to make it up to her for the missed trick or treating.
After a quick elevator ride, they reached his penthouse. The elegant, modern space was impeccably decorated, a reflection of Jaehyun’s refined taste. 
“What d’ya want to eat before the pretty lady gets here, Miss Elsa?” Jaehyun asks Subin, who was already halfway to the kitchen. He followed behind her and held the door open for her as she entered. “Goldfish…” she said hungrily, causing a laugh to escape from Jaehyun’s lips.
“Goldfish it is, then.” The man took a bowl from one of the cabinet’s before he scanned his pantry for the snack that was requested. While Jaehyun looked, he heard Subin squeal with excitement. A mix of confusion and concern churned through Jaehyun, so he tried to be quick with his search and found them on the top shelf. 
“Subin, I found them…” Jaehyun stopped in his tracks when his eyes found yours.
“Hey Jae,” you smiled, your insides twisting at his current state. He’d come from the office, you knew that already, but seeing him in that suit definitely messed with you a bit.
“Hey,” Jaehyun couldn’t help the way his heart raced at the mere sight of you. You were holding a neatly folded Anna costume in your arms, and the smile you gave him made his heart skip a beat. “You’re early.” he said. Although he looked quite distracted, Jaehyun still managed to pour Subin her goldfish and hand the bowl to her.
“Yeah, I just thought I’d come by a little early to see if Subin needed help with her costume.” Your innocence warmed Jaehyun and forced a smile onto his lips.
“That’s really thoughtful, thank you.’
“Don’t even mention it.” you said.
“Pretty lady, are you going to put your costume on now?” Subin interjected while she munched on the small crackers. 
Jaehyun shuddered lightly, realising his daughter had just watched that whole interaction, even though she probably didn’t register what was going on. 
At least that’s what you both hoped.
“Oh! Yes, yes, I will go do that. So, give me a few minutes, yeah?” you winked at her which earned you a big grin from the little girl.
“You can change in the guest bathroom.” Jaehyun blurts. “I’ll show you where it is.”
“Yeah, yeah, sounds good.”
Jaehyun walked out first, but it didn’t take long for you to catch up to him. You walked silently up the stairs and down the hall until you reached the room. 
“Let me know if you need anything,” he said.
You thank him before you enter the bathroom, one you’ve definitely seen before. You set the costume down on the counter and begin to undress. Everything was going well until it came down to actually doing up the back of the dress.
“Jaehyun?” you raised your voice ever so slightly, just to check if he was still there, and in a heartbeat there was a soft knock on the door. 
“You called?” His voice was a bit muffled from being on the other side of the door, but you opened the door, finding him leaning against the door frame. 
“Could you help me with this?” you asked with a hand across your chest to keep your dress from falling. 
Jaehyun looked away from your eyes, suddenly feeling very warm in the face and ears. “Yeah, could I come in?”
You moved so he had room to enter, and you shut the door almost immediately after and locked the door. Your back was facing Jaehyun, but you were watching him through the mirror. You felt bold until his dark eyes met yours in the reflection, and since then, his gaze didn’t leave yours.His heart raced as he looked into your eyes, and his fingers trembled slightly as he began to tie the strings at the back of your dress. 
The tension in the air only grew stronger as his fingers brushed lightly against your skin, and your breath hitched. You couldn’t help but steal a glance over your shoulder, meeting Jaehyun’s gaze once again.
“Done…” he gulped, holding your stare. It was a moment where words were no longer necessary, and the attraction between you two was undeniable.
Jaehyun leaned in closer, his lips brushed against the nape of your neck. Your heart raced, and you tilted your head slightly, granting him access to your skin. His kisses were gentle, sending shivers down your spine, and his arms which had wrapped around your waist, had become your new form of support. 
As he continued to trail soft, lingering kisses along your neck, Jaehyun whispered, “You’re making it hard for me to focus on anything other than you.”
You turn around to face him, your lips dangerously close to his. “Maybe that’s the point,” you replied with a mischievous glint in your eyes. 
With a surge of longing, Jaehyun closed the small distance between your lips and his. The kiss was passionate and electric, and yet still so familiar from the previous ones you’ve shared from almost every weekend for the past three months.
One of Jaehyun’s hands cupped your cheek as the other snaked down to your waist, pulling you in closer. He felt the heat of your body merge with his, and his heart raced as he deepened the kiss. Your hands were tangled in his hair, and the taste of his lips sent a wave of euphoria through your body. 
Jaehyun pulled away, but only slightly. His forehead was still pressed against yours, and he whispered, "I could kiss you like this forever."
Your lips curled into a small smile and you replied, "I wouldn't mind it."
With that, Jaehyun kissed you again, and this time it was more desperate, more passionate. He moved his lips hungrily against yours, exploring and tasting your mouth. You let out a soft moan as his hands moved to your lower back, and your kiss became more passionate.
His hands moved to the small of your back, and he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. You felt the warmth of his body against yours, and you melted into his embrace. 
He carried you to the counter, and sat you down on the cold marble, and your arms tightly wrapped around him. You could feel his heart pounding against your chest, and the intensity of the kiss was enough to make your head spin. You felt like you were in some kind of trance, and you welcomed it with all your heart.
With his hips in between your legs, you reached out your hand to palm his growing erection through his pants. Jaehyun pulled away from the kiss, letting his head fall back in pleasure.
“God, baby, I got hard twice today because of you.” You hummed in response, slowly undoing Jaehyun’s belt and freeing his cock from his boxers. Bringing your hand to your mouth, you spit into it before lubing up his dick with it.
You started to move your hand up and down, slowly stroking his shaft and Jaehyun let out a low moan. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily, his hips starting to move in time with your hand. 
Your hand closed over the tip, stroking it in circular motions before you moved your hand to jerk off the rest of his length. You increased the speed of your hand, Jaehyun's breathing getting heavier with each stroke. You could feel how hard he had gotten, and you smiled as you continued to pleasure him. Feeling your spit start to dry up, you started to use more of your hand, your fingers tracing circles around the head of his cock. Jaehyun's hands were gripping the material of your costume tightly, and you could feel his hips twitching with each of your strokes. 
You moved your hand faster, your thumb now rubbing circles around Jaehyun's most sensitive spot, and he let out a loud moan as he was about to cum, but before he could, a timer went off.
“Fucking christ,” You both sighed out of disappointment, and Jaehyun rested his forehead against yours.
"I have to go," he said, regretfully. He quickly fixed himself up and helped you off the counter.
“What if you’re still hard during your meeting, though?” You joke while your fingers toyed with his belt loops. 
He chuckled, and kissed you one last time before reluctantly pulling away.
“I’ll figure something out." You pouted, and he leaned in to give you one last peck on the lips before he grabbed his phone and unlocked the door. "I'll see you soon. I promise." He said before slipping out of the door. 
You sighed and smiled to yourself, savouring the moment. You felt more alive than ever.
Sliding off the counter, you turned and inspected your face to make sure you didn’t go back to Subin looking like a hot mess. 
“Pretty lady!” Subin yelled as you walked down the stairs. The young girl squealed as she ran to wait for you at the edge of the steps. She gushed at you once you had fully arrived in front of you. “You look so pretty!”
“Thank you sweetheart.” you said as you ruffled her hair. “Ready to go?” you asked her with a grin. Subin nodded frantically and grabbed your hand before she darted towards the elevator, her candy bag in the other hand waiting to be filled to the brim with treats.
“Trick or treating!” she cheered and jumped with excitement, and your heart warmed at the sight.
-
“Thank you so much for your time Gongmyung.” Jaehyun smiled as he shook the older man's hand. 
“Of course! The pitch was great, so our lawyers will be in contact with yours very shortly.” 
Jaehyun saw the man out of the smile and one final bow before he looked down at his watch. It was 9:30pm.
‘They should be home by now.’ Jaehyun thought as he got in his car and began to drive home. 
It only took him about twenty minutes to get home from the restaurant, and by the time he reached the penthouse, he found you sitting on the couch with his daughter sleeping peacefully next to you, her head resting on your thigh. 
“Hey,” you smiled up at him. Jaehyun mirrored your expression as he sat down next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. 
“When did she pass out?” Jaehyun’s fingers drew circles against your arm as you leaned into him. 
“About an hour ago? She already brushed her teeth, we were just watching The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Jaehyun looked at you, his brows scrunched closer together.
“Is that not a Christmas movie?” 
“Tsk… no one knows what it is or isn’t.” you said, jutting out your bottom lip before Jaehyun pecked your cheek. “I think I’m gonna put Subin to bed… show me to her room?” You slowly moved in a way that wouldn’t disturb the little girl too badly, and you brought her to your chest and rested her head on your shoulder. Both you and Jaehyun stood and you cautiously walked up the stairs and down the hall. 
Jaehyun opened the door, revealing a baby pink room with toys and stuffed animals astray. 
“This room is so…”
“Scary?”
“Her,” you shot Jaehyun a dirty look which made him laugh. “Not too loud, idiot.” you scolded him when you felt Subin stir at the loud noise. Cradling her head, you ordered Jaehyun to pull her bed covers back. Gently, you set the girl down before tucking her in. You stepped back to watch Jaehyun crouch beside her head and plant a light kiss on forehead. He sat there for a few seconds, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. With one last peck goodnight, he got up and smiled softly at you before he took your hand in his and led you out of the room.
With the lights off in Subin’s room and her door shut, the two of you stood in the hallway, staring into each other’s eyes. 
“Thank you, again, for watching her.” Jaehyun stepped closer to you. You noticed how his tone dropped, how his hands squeezed yours gently, and how his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. 
“Like I’ve said, you don’t have to thank me… but you can show me your appreciation in a different way.” you teased and hooked your fingers around his belt loop like you did earlier.
Jaehyun smirked devilishly, leaning in to kiss your neck. His hands moved around your waist, dipping lower until he cupped your ass. 
As he trailed kisses along your neck, he paused to nibble and suck on your sensitive skin. His hands moved up your back, tugging your hips even closer to his. You felt your own arousal growing as his lips moved from your neck to your lips, his tongue pushing its way into your mouth. You moaned against his lips as your hands found their way into his hair, fingers curling around the strands of his hair. 
“We shouldn’t do this out here…” you said breathlessly, and Jaehyun groaned in agreement.
He pulled away and took your hand, leading you to the guest room. Your pulse was racing as he pushed open the door, and you both stepped inside. He pulled you close and kissed you deeply, while your hands moved to the back of his neck, tugging him in closer as your lips moved together in an urgent, passionate kiss. His hands travelled their way down your body, exploring your curves as you explored his. He trailed kisses down your neck, making you gasp as his teeth lightly grazed your skin. You groaned in pleasure as you felt his erection growing against your belly.
He grabbed your hair and pulled it back, his face hovering close to yours. "Tell me what you want," he growled.
You bit your lip and smiled, your desire rising with each passing second. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "I need you to fuck me."
He groaned and pulled you closer, his hands roaming your body. His lips brushed against your ear as he responded in a chuckle, “Waited all day for you to say that to me.”
In an instant, Jaehyun brought you towards the bed, a fire raging in his eyes. You were both eager to get undressed, and you started with his shirt. You reached to undo the buttons of his suit and slowly started undoing them, never breaking away from his embrace. Jaehyun’s breaths were heavy and rushed as you finally released his shirt and pulled it off his body. 
His hands moved to your shirt and he proceeded to do the same with you, slowly pulling your shirt off and tossing it aside. He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, his lips finding yours again. His hands were frantic as they roamed your body, the intensity of his kiss growing with each passing moment.
He leaned back and pulled you with him, the two of you standing there in nothing but your underwear. His eyes were ablaze with desire and he stepped forward, pushing you back onto the bed. He leaned over you and slowly trailed his lips down your body, his hands massaging your curves as he made his way down.
He pulled back and looked into your eyes, his own filled with a primal hunger. With one hand, he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, his lips finding yours again as the other hand found itself making its way down your navel, all the way to your pussy. His thumb took to your clit, drawing small circles on it.
The friction felt electric, you couldn’t help but shiver at his cold hands touching such sensitive parts. A soft moan escaped your lips as your hips involuntarily arched towards his touch. His thumb moved faster, increasing the intensity of the pleasure. You felt pleasure radiating through your body, slowly building to an unstoppable force. Your breathing became shallow, your heart raced, and all you could do was surrender to the sensations. His thumb began to move with more intensity, each circle growing wider and wider. His touch was gentle yet demanding, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your veins. The hand that had your wrists in a tight grip suddenly let go, but it moved to your hip and he grabbed firmly, steadying you as his thumb continued to bring you closer to the edge. 
You could feel his breath against your neck, his fingers digging into your hips as he moved them. Suddenly, he slapped you hard on your pussy and you gasped in surprise. The repeated action brought you close to tears. As your jaw hung open from a mix of surprise and pleasure, Jaehyun saw this as the perfect opportunity to do the thing you love. Hovering just slightly over your mouth, he let his saliva drop into your mouth, and he watched with a smirk as your jaw shut immediately, swallowing what he gave you. 
His tongue soon found its way into your mouth, and you tasted the bitterness of his spit as it mingled with yours. His hands moved with purpose, sending waves of pleasure cascading through your body. 
You could feel the anticipation building in your body, and you could barely contain the moans that escaped your lips. You were so close to the pinnacle of pleasure, and his touch was the only thing that could get you there.
“Fuck, Jae… oh fuck.” you said as a signal to him that you were cumming. If that didn’t tell him, then the way your body shook definitely did. 
Not long after you came, Jaehyun sat himself in between your legs. Both of his hands moved to your thighs, pushing them apart as he knelt in front of you. He looked up at you with pure adoration and started to kiss and lick your inner thighs. 
Jaehyun kept one arm around your hips while the other explored your pussy, fingering you slowly. You gasped and hissed in pleasure as he teased your sensitive areas. He moved his mouth to your pussy and started to lick and suck in a tantalising rhythm. His tongue moved in slow circles, alternating between soft and hard strokes. 
The arm he kept around your wait found itself lazily dragging from your waist, up to your breasts. His nimble fingers squeezed and teased your nipples, not helping the fact that you were trying to keep your voice down– even though you were several rooms down from his daughter.
The back of your hand moved to cover your mouth as you moaned, while the other grabbed his head, pushing him deeper into you. He bit down on your labia and licked the sensitive skin around your clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. Jaehyun moved his fingers inside you, pushing them in and out in a steady rhythm, his thumb finding the spot that sent sensations of pleasure through your body. 
He then began to massage your clit with his tongue, circling it slowly and then faster and faster until you felt your toes curl in anticipation. His hands moved down to your hips, holding you tightly as he increased the pressure and speed of his tongue. 
You felt your muscles tensing and your breathing becoming more rapid as you got closer to the edge. His fingers moved faster and faster, stimulating you in all the right places. You moaned and gasped as your orgasm finally overcame you, your body shaking in pleasure.
“Came so quick.” Jaehyun stated, slowly moving his mouth back up to yours and kissed you passionately, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands moved to your waist. 
He grabbed your hips and spread your legs wider, pushing his hard cock inside of you. He moved slowly at first, letting out a guttural moan as he entered you. 
He moved his hips in a circular motion, pushing himself deeper into you as he felt your tight walls stretching around his thickness. He felt as if he was being consumed by a blanket of pleasure, and he loved the feeling of being completely surrounded by you. With each movement, you could feel him stretching you out further, and the sensation made his body tremble with delight. 
“Fuck, baby, you’re doing so fucking well.” His breathing quickened as he felt the sensation of being fully engulfed inside of you, and the sensation of pleasure coursing through his body. He felt as if he were melting into you, becoming one with you as he moved faster and faster. 
He added a new layer of pleasure to his movements, as he sucked and licked on your nipples while he continued to thrust. His tongue felt like velvet on your skin, teasing and tantalising you with every movement. His hands moved to your back, caressing it with every thrust. 
You grasped his shoulders tightly as the sensations built up inside, and you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Finally, you threw your head back and let out a loud moan as you reached your climax, your pleasure washing over you. Jaehyun’s breathing became heavier, and you could feel his muscles tense up, his whole body shaking with pleasure.
“Fuck baby…” Jaehyun groaned, looking down at your pussy. “You’re so fucking full.” he bit his lip to stop himself from showing his smile, but it was useless– Jaehyun was grinning from ear to ear with pride. He watched as his cum dripped out of you, but with two fingers, he took whatever had leaked and shoved it back into you.
“Hey,” you said, grabbing his attention with his fingers still inside of you. “You gonna fuck me full of your cum, or what?”
Jaehyun almost lost it. Asking that of him was not the smartest idea, considering the fact that he’d do anything you told him to.
“Is this you asking to have my second kid? We’re not even together.” He joked as he sat himself with his back against his headboard. 
You knew what that meant.
Getting on your knees, you crawled on top of him and positioned yourself above his still very hard cock.
“I could do both…” you say without another thought.
“Oh baby,” he said, voice more seductive than you’ve heard before. “I’ll fuck you so hard, you’ll get pregnant right away.” And with that, he thrust upwards, shoving his thick cock into you.
You exclaimed in surprise, eyes going wide, but your hands flew to his shoulder, stabilising yourself as he moved inside of you. He moved long and slow, his hips rolling against yours, and you felt your pleasure building with each thrust. He reached down and grabbed your ass, squeezing the soft flesh as began to pick up his pace. His breathing became ragged as he went deeper and deeper into you. 
His hands moved higher, gently caressing your breasts, his lips lightly sucking and licking them. His fingers moved lower, rubbing and teasing your clit, and his tongue licked and sucked your nipples.
“Fuck, just look at you, your fucking tits bouncing…” he mumbled, his mouth watering at the sight. “Gonna get you pregnant with my baby, and your tits are gonna be so fucking big.” Jaehyun moaned at the thought. You felt his tongue flick against your nipples, and you gasped in pleasure as he teased them with his mouth.
As he sucked on your nipples, Jaehyun started to pick up the pace, pushing himself in and out of you. His hips moved in a perfect rhythm, each thrust sending a wave of pleasure through your body. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, and your breath coming in ragged gasps. 
You could feel the heat building inside you as he continued to move. His hand moved down, rubbing against your clit as he moved, sending pleasure coursing through your veins. His thrusts were getting harder, and faster, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.
Just then, he pulled out of you and flipped you over onto your back. He stared into your eyes, holding your gaze as he penetrated you again. “Fuck Jaehyun, I need your cum.” You whined. His thrusts were more forceful now, and you could feel yourself moaning louder and louder as he continued to move inside of you.
He then started to move one of his hands up and down your body, playing with your nipples and lightly caressing your breasts. His tongue lapped at them, and you felt your body tense up as he sucked on them. He moved the other hand down to your clit again, rubbing it in circles as he moved inside of you. 
“Need to get you so fucking full.” Jaehyun spoke aimlessly as he fucked your cunt, his thrusts growing harsher by the second. You hummed at his words, equally as brainless as he was from the stimulation. 
You felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, and Jaehyun increased his thrusts, pushing himself deeper inside of you. He grabbed your hips and held you tight, pushing himself deep inside of you. You screamed out in pleasure, your orgasm ripping through your body, and he followed shortly behind, his body shaking in pleasure.
His moans grew louder and his thrusts became more intense, the pleasure becoming too much for him to handle. He felt his orgasm build up inside of him, and as he reached the peak, he let out a cry of pure ecstasy. Jaehyun slowly pulled out of you before he laid beside you.
Turning to face him, you both lay there for a few moments, your breathing ragged and your hearts pounded in your chests.
“I meant what I said…” Jaehyun said, his thoughts now cleared from his prior state of mind. “About being together. The baby too, but that can come later.”
“I like that idea,” you hummed and pressed your lips to his.
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catboyieejeno · 3 months
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random texts with bf! jaehyun
cw: sexual/suggestive, one suic!de joke
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🫧
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haespoir · 3 months
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texts w/ boyfriend!jaehyun
part ???? who knows… i love him tho… also any jjk fans: jaehyun as nanami.. ARE YOU SEEING WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN?????
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kjdkive · 2 months
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girl dad! jaehyun texts
warnings: suggestive
a/n: got bored with baby fever, there's typos, if you want to see more texts requests are always open
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gyeomsweetgyeom · 5 months
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[7:37 pm]
(cw: f!reader, a few curse words, no hate at all to business majors xx)
“Baby! Come on you know I didn’t mean it!” Fratboy!Jaehyun calls out with a laugh in his voice.
“You called me stupid, Jaehyun," You pout.
He fails to hide his laugh at the sight, "No, I said don't be stupid. There's a difference."
"And there's a difference between being single and having a girlfriend, asshole," you reply, slamming the door behind you.
You stomp down the stairs and almost make it to the door when Taeyong, your favorite of Jaehyun's frat brothers, asks if you were going to stay for dinner. You can never say no to him.
In the kitchen you help him chop vegetables before he finally asks you what happened, "I told Jaehyun I couldn't spend the night because I had a big project due by Monday and he told me there was no way a project for my major would constitute me not being able to spend the night. Then he just kept talking and said that none of my classes could be harder than his."
Taeyong stopped with wide eyes, "he said that?"
You nod quickly, "Oh yeah, then he told me that he doesn't think any major would be harder than his business classes, especially mine, and I'd be stupid to think so."
Taeyong ends up agreeing with you and your current upset state, Jaehyun is officially in the wrong. You can feel your phone in your pocket vibrating with texts from Jaehyun but you don't care enough to text back. He can learn from the consequences of being rude.
When the meal is finally ready, you take a seat at the table, far away from your honorary seat at the dinner table, the seat that was right beside Jaehyun's.
Jaehyun walks into the room and sees you sitting beside Taeyong and Haechan, "Really? You're still butt hurt? You didn't answer any of my texts, I wasn't sure if you were safe."
You make it a point not to look at him, so Haechan answers for you instead, "You have her location and you made her feel bad, she doesn't owe you anything."
Jaehyun glares at the younger man, he could be so annoying sometimes. While he ate, Jaehyun's eyes were glued on you with a scowl watching you laugh and interact with everyone but him. He looked like a child who was forced to share his favorite toy, it was hilarious.
While you stood in the kitchen and continued conversing with Taeyong, Jaehyun slipped in and wrapped his arms around your waist, "are you really still mad at me baby?"
"Yes, Jaehyun," You reply curtly, not reciprocating any type of affection like you would usually. This was new for everyone to witness, usually it was you giving the affection. It was you who initiated the hugs, used the mushy petnames, began the disgusting make out sessions. It was funny to see Jaehyun being the clingier of you two now.
He nuzzles his face in your neck, pressing kisses to the slope of your shoulder, "I'm not Jaehyun. I'm your love, your baby, your babe."
"Not when you're being mean."
"I didn't mean to say it," he whines, hearing someone snort out a laugh in the background.
"Jaehyun, I just can't believe you'd say that to me. You're a fucking business major with a 2.8 GPA and I'm on the dean's list with a 3.9. Almost all your classes are freshman level classes. Anything I do is harder than what you do," you finally snap.
"My love, I'm sorry," he cups your face and begins pressing kisses across your face while you still huff in annoyance in his hold.
"I don't like it when you call me stupid or imply that I am," You pout looking up into his eyes.
He presses his forehead to yours, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, "You're not baby. You're so smart and I'm the stupid one."
Someone imitates a whipping noise and mocks, "No, I'm stupid! Me! Me! I'm so stupid!"
"Fucking whipped is what he is," someone else chuckles.
"Would you guys knock it off, I'm trying to apologize to my girlfriend here!" Jaehyun calls out with an annoyed groan.
Another whip noise, "Pretty sure, I heard her call you single bro."
"Did you break up?" Haechan asks hopefully, fingers visibly crossed on both hands.
"Jaehyun gets a pass this time," you reply leaning into Jaehyun to give his cheek a kiss, ignoring the groans of the other guys in the room while he smiles happliy, "but I want flowers too."
He kisses you softly a few times, your face still cradled in his hands while he looks you right in the eye, "then my girl is getting her flowers."
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mochidoie · 8 months
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boyfriend material.
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jung jaehyun x gn!reader genre: fluff, fake dating cliche, strangers to lovers, slight angst wc: 6.2k warnings: sensual tension/implications, sfw kiss scene
Although you and Jaehyun had never spoken a word to each other before this class project, he asks you to be in a fake relationship in order to prove to his longtime crush that he is boyfriend material.
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“What if we fake dated?” Nearly choking on your spit, you peer up at the dimpled boy in mostly shock, but also curiosity at why the hell he would be desperate enough to ask such a bizarre request from you, his project partner.
The maximum amount of time you have known this man is probably less than 48 hours and despite being in the same class for the past semester, yesterday is the first time you two have actually exchanged words.
“You have to be out of your mind.” The question was a follow up to the story of his unrequited love, which you had been way too interested in from the start because anything is better than working on school work.
Being paired with Jaehyun for one of the biggest group projects of the year had not been your first pick, but you didn’t have much of a choice since your professor used a random generator to assign partners. 
Jaehyun barely knew of your existence two days ago, though, you really can’t blame him for your lack of attendance and participation. All you knew of him was that he was the guy with dimples and his name started with a J. But, that’s college. You don’t get to know much of anyone in your lectures or discussion classes. 
This is one of the only classes small enough for a partner project, being that it is a seminar class counted toward your major in order to graduate. You really could have gone through all of college without a single group project on your loop, but the universe tested you.
“Think about it, we could be killing two birds with one stone.” Jaehyun gleams, trying to close your heavy textbook to garner your attention. “I can prove to Rose that I am boyfriend material and you can prove to your friends that you’re not chronically single.”
“I really shouldn’t have confessed that I was chronically single. It gives you leverage to use it against me.” Sighing deeply, you narrow your eyes at this man that wears an innocent smile on his face. 
The chance to shut your friends’ chatter about your love life is incredibly tempting and Jaehyun is the perfect visual to introduce: charming smile, glossy eyes, deep dimples, tall, nice build. You just know all your friends would be smitten over a man like him.
“Say I agree to this ridiculous idea, how would we break up?” Your interest is captivated now, as you set your pen in the middle crease of the textbook and cross your arms over the table. 
“It could be a mutual split. If you want to spice it up, you can dump me or I can break up with you and I’ll cry about it to Rose. She’ll comfort me, realize I’m so boyfriend material and grow feelings for me.”  Jaehyun claps his hands together as if he made the most brilliant idea ever. 
Scoffing, you roll your eyes at how silly it sounded. Though, a part of you really wanted to show someone off so that your friends would stop trying to set you up with their weird coworkers or their desperate mutuals. 
As if you never thought you’d agreed to something as absurd as fake dating someone, you lean back in your seat and ask the one question that causes the moon crescents to appear on this handsome man’s fluffy cheeks:
“So, what’s the game plan?” 
THE GAME PLAN: BOYFRIEND MATERIAL 
Meet Cute: Jaehyun asked to borrow a charger and never gave it back. Professor does a random name generator for a partner project. You and Jaehyun are paired. The charger made its way back to its original owner in a fateful way. 
Who liked who first: you fell for that sexy baritone voice.
How he asked you out: A dozen roses and a candlelit dinner.
How long have you been dating: three weeks.
Favorite thing about one another: 
Y/N: cute stationary
Jaehyun: dimples
“Cute stationary?” You squint at his answer with disgust at how lame it is. “That is the best answer you could think of? People are really going to think we’re head over heels for each other.” The sarcasm in your tone is distinct, not going unnoticed by Jaehyun.
“Says the one that said dimples. How original.” Jaehyun fakely yawns, rolling his eyes at the hypocrisy. 
“I’m not going for uniqueness. I’m just making these answers easy enough for me to remember if asked.” 
“And we’re making me the forgetful one in the meet cute?” Jaehyun pretends to be offended. His hand rests on his chest, followed by a scoff. 
You’re growing to understand Jaehyun’s banter, finding that his question does hold some amount of irony. “Whatever, I have class in 15 minutes. Let’s quickly establish the rules and go on with our day.” 
RULES: BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
No kissing on the lips.
Don’t tell anyone about the fake relationship.
Sunday Recaps. 
Go to one social event with friends for each person. 
“That should be good for now.” You electronically sign your name on the document, sharing access rights to Jaehyun’s email. “We’ll add to it if needed.”
“Do you think it’ll work?” As you rush to pack your things into your backpack, you’re quizzically staring at how concerned Jaehyun looks asking his question. “Like, is it going to convince Rose how good of a boyfriend I’d be?”
“Well, you have to convince me first if you’d even be a good boyfriend before you start thinking about impressing your crush.” Zipping up, you wait for Jaehyun to make a move. Anything, this was essentially a cue. Nonetheless, he remains kicking his feet underneath the table and drifting off into space.
“Seriously?” You ask, arms crossed and weight barred on your left leg. Jaehyun’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, unable to read the bewilderness of your expression. 
“What?” 
This is going to be harder than you expected. What the hell did you just get yourself into?
“This is your cue to say you’re going to walk me to my class.” Your palm lands on your cheek, rubbing away the forming frustration you have for this man. He is far, far, far from boyfriend material. “Forget it.”
“No, wait-” Jaehyun clears the table of his things, shoving them carelessly into his backpack and hurrying to catch up to you. “I guess I forgot to mention that I don’t know the first thing about impressing someone.” 
You can’t help the laugh that slips from your lips, “oh, you clueless handsome man. It is such a good thing you’re attractive or else, it would be much harder for you.”
“That is a very backhanded compliment.” Jaehyun’s laugh is so robust that it rumbles your chest. It is your first time genuinely hearing it, as he has been stoic the whole day you two worked on your project. 
“We’ll get there,” you pat his shoulder and head toward the lecture doors, “I’ll send you a calendar invite for your first social event next week.” 
Jaehyun stands still, eyes scanning the floor and then back up at your fading figure. “Why are you so willing to help me?”
You stop, hand holding the handle to the door. Looking back at him, the smile on your face shocks him. “Because now I feel responsible for making you a good boyfriend.” With a wave goodbye, you disappear into the building.
Jaehyun puts his hands into his pocket and the white clouds float above him in the blue sky. A small smile creeps on his lips as a simple thought causes it to arise. “Favorite thing about y/n is that smile.” 
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“I feel like this is so abrupt. When did you two even start talking?” Your friend starts with the questioning. You had warned Jaehyun previously about the million questions you two were going to get tonight and told him to be prepared. Remember the game plan. 
“A little over a month ago. Jaehyun and I talked in class for the most part.” Stirring the straw in your drink, you’re wondering if your friends can see past your facade. 
“Y/N really likes to play hard to get.” Jaehyun takes control of the narrative, you’re perked up to hear what he has up his sleeve. “I asked for their number three separate times. The first being when I asked to borrow the charger, twice before the midterm, and the third when we were assigned as partners.”
“No wonder why you didn’t get your charger back for the longest time.” Another friend jokes and Jaehyun agrees so naturally. Your eyes scan his whole demeanor and he looks completely relaxed. A part of you had expected that he would flounder and be a nervous wreck in front of your friends. Nonetheless, he is doing great at his first social event. 
It is your good friend’s birthday celebration at a more upscale bar downtown. The formal attire was mandatory and you had spent the last hour picking up a last minute outfit for Jaehyun at his apartment. 
The two of you had already begun planting the social media seeds over the week. Random roses on a Tuesday afternoon. Dinner with a man’s hand holding the glass near the right side of the picture. Your scrunchie around his wrist as he takes his daily gym selfie. 
Your friends bombarded you with eye emojis, acting like detectives to figure out if you were seeing someone. Before you knew it, they were all telling you to invite him to the birthday celebration, which you already knew he’d get the invite for. Your friends were dying to meet him.
The moment you two had stepped in, eyes were instantly on you and watching your every step with Jaehyun in your arms. The attention made you sweat, mostly because you didn’t know how tonight would play out and because you’ve never been seen with a partner. 
However, as the night went on, Jaehyun was a real crowd pleaser. Truthfully, you had no idea how Jaehyun is as a person. You two barely know each other’s last names, but the impression you had of him was of a more shy and reserved man. Maybe it was the lack of talking you two shared in the first hour of your group project, but he was so enjoyable to be around.
“Hey, you doing alright?” Jaehyun wraps his arm around your waist, causing you to slightly cease action. He notices, leaning down to whisper into your ear. “Is it okay for me to touch you?”
His hot breath and deep raspy whisper against the shell of your ear actually made your knees weak. Your mind takes you to unimaginable places, scenes that you shouldn’t be thinking about with Jaehyun. The grip on your glass tightens and you’re nodding subtly. “Social battery is depleting. I think we should leave soon.”
“Yeah, it’s getting pretty chaotic over there. We should flee the scene before we get trapped in it.” He points to the small crowd forming near the barstools.
One of the mutuals of another friend is hunched over, gripping his stomach and practically dry heaving in the middle of the area. His face goes completely pale and you just knew he was going to projectile vomit in nearly ten seconds.
“Yeah, let’s go.” Your hand finds his out of instinct, maneuvering the both of you through incoming flocks of friends trying to get another word in. You’re saying your goodbyes while rushing out as fast as you can.
“It was lovely meeting you, Jaehyun!” Some call out and he is waving, bidding his goodbyes as if he is a celebrity to his fans.
One push and you’re out the door, into the chilly night that brushes a breeze on your arms. Finally, there is no one else around and no more small talk, you can breathe. “Wow, that was incredible.”
“I’m used to getting out of situations as fast as I can.” There goes that smile that Jaehyun likes, heart racing and all just by looking at you. “Especially with my friends. They’ll talk your ear off if you let them.” 
You’re fully aware that your fingers are still intertwined after escaping. Jaehyun’s hand is a bit rough due to the calluses on his palms from heavy weight lifting, but it feels nice. To be held, to be felt, to share warmth – your heart is running a marathon all on its own. 
“Sorry.” Mumbling, your hands separate in seconds. Jaehyun sheepishly puts them in his pockets and averts his gaze awkwardly. For a moment, you forgot where your boundaries lie. 
“Can I drive you home?” Jaehyun kindly asks. He beckons over at his car parked on the curb and hopes for you to follow.
“But I live the opposite way.” The reluctance causes your body to freeze up, standing in place. At the end of it all, Jaehyun and you were barely friends. Possibly, your mind is still very much aware of that.
Jaehyun almost starts with a whole thing about it being dangerous at night, but he realizes you really didn’t need to hear all of that. It would’ve been an earful anyway and he just needed you to get into the car without feeling bad. 
“I know, but I don’t mind.” He says, opening the door to the passenger side for you. Taken aback, you’re wondering if something happened to Jaehyun overnight for this sudden charm he is exuding.
Perhaps the stars in the night sky are playing tricks on you, but you’re beginning to see Jaehyun in a new light.
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“So, you’re completely over Rosie?”  There seems to be a pattern amongst yours and Jaehyun’s group of friends. Both sides seem skeptical about the two of you dating, often questioning details about how legit this relationship is.
It’s going to be the 4th week mark – one month of keeping up these charades, but making your very fake relationship just shy of two months. No rules have been broken and you’re building your friendship very well with all the time you two spend together.
You’re at the first social event for Jaehyun. Unlike him, you aren’t one to control a crowd and his friends aren’t like yours where they’d talk endlessly. The anticipation of finally meeting Jaehyun’s crush also dawned on you, her name being mentioned very frequently.
“It would be really weird if I wasn’t.” Laughing dryly, he brings you closer by the waist and into his side. To any outsider perspective, it would look as though Jaehyun is trying to non-verbally reassure you like a good boyfriend would. It doesn’t draw much attention, it’s a light-hearted response to an awkward question. He is learning very well.
To you, it feels very staged and you’re trying your best to hide the warmth you’re feeling from how intimate you two look together. “I don’t mean to offend you. Rosie was Jaehyun’s previous fling and it felt very unfinished.” 
The way that Jaehyun had described their relationship didn’t seem like a fling, though you know how people use that word quite loosely nowadays. “It’s hard when you’re each other’s firsts.”
Suddenly, a chill runs down your spine and your heart drops to your stomach. This feeling washing over you is foreign, but familiar all at once. The grip on your waist retreats and Jaehyun looks like a deer caught in headlights. A crucial detail seems to be left out and the way your body reacts to it is a surprise to you.
His friends seem to understand the situation, without any exchange of words. They clear their throats and Jaehyun looks about ready to kill someone. “It was a while ago though!”
“Yeah, they barely ever see each other anymore.” His other friend tries to put a bandage on the situation, chuckling nervously at the shift in atmosphere.
Jaehyun's social event is turning out quite terribly.
“Jae?” A voice calls for everyone’s attention. It’s a sweet and delicate cadence, you would believe it if it came from a princess or fairy of sorts. When you all turn to face the owner of that gentle voice, you’re met with someone even more beautiful. 
Something deep inside told you that she had to be Rosie and Jaehyun affirmed it with the look in his eyes. “It’s been awhile.” He gravitates toward her, tunnel vision where she stands at the end of it. Jaehyun speaks to her as if there is no one else in the room, including you.
And although you two aren’t actually dating, the needles in your chest are causing you great distress. Watching him walk toward another person with hearts in his eyes doesn’t exactly make you feel joyous. It is even worse knowing that you’re supposed to be his pretend partner and you’re too stunned to make a move.
Having to remind yourself that she is the sole reason this arrangement exists in the first place, you collect your emotions and breathe deeply. You follow behind Jaehyun, strutting up and wrapping your arm around his. However, Rose doesn’t notice and her wide eyes look at you in excitement.
“We haven’t met, I’m Rose.” She is quick to pull you into a hug. It startles you, patting her shoulder lightly at how harmonious she is.  You didn’t have much of an image of how she was like, but it wasn’t this. 
Starting with your introductions, her facial expressions are incredibly expressive: a mixture of  enthusiasm and surprise. “Jaehyun mentioned that he was bringing a special someone.” Dang it, even her attitude is super cheery. “You are absolutely stunning, I hope Jaehyun is treating you well.”
Here is your cue. “Jaehyun has been the best. I feel like I can’t live my life without him now.” Look over. Loving eye contact. Smile. “I feel like I got really lucky with him.”
Jaehyun knows you’re playing your part, but the churning in his stomach has to be butterflies making their rounds. He hasn’t felt much affection in a while and so he can’t tell if these feelings stem from lack of affirmations or because it's coming from you.
“Aw, you’re the cutest.” Rose gives you the lightest touch on your wrist, an electrifying buzz that you want more of. A fleeting feeling. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to chat because I am totally being a third wheel right now.”
Rose makes her exit before you two could protest. Turning toward Jaehyun, you’re mumbling underneath your breath, “I can see why you’re absolutely in love with her.”
“More of a mild infatuation, I would say.” He leans up against the wall, pulling you into him so he can hear you better. Your hips touch as he lazily wraps his arm around your back. 
“Way out of your league, I would say.” You cross your arms, scoffing. “We have our work cut out for us. It’s probably going to be harder than we thought to convince her you’re the perfect boyfriend.”
Somehow Jaehyun looks even hotter rolling his eyes, paired with a small smirk on his lips and a dimple on his right cheek. “I just love chasing people out of my league.”
There is a brief moment of silence between the both of you, staring into each other’s eyes with an unknowing gaze of understanding. In this suffocating intimacy, you could kiss him, open mouth and completely devour him. He could do the same, tasting your hot lips coated in your expensive lip gloss.
So why don’t you? 
Why doesn’t he? 
No kissing on the lips. 
Nonetheless, you break the intense gaze and ignore all the pent up lust you’re feeling in your chest. Bringing your hand to lightly brush away Jaehyun’s loose strands, he catches your wrist mid way.
You watch as he does the unpredictable: soft lips puckered up against the inside of your wrist. Your heart is pounding in your ears, unable to pull away from how much you’re craving him.
All these impure sensual feelings for Jaehyun came to the surface. It’s easy to admit that he is very attractive and if only he knew how to use his charm, he could have anyone in the palm of his hands. The only thing keeping you from falling for him is the sheer fact that he wouldn’t like you back. 
No rules against developing feelings for one another, but that doesn’t mean that you should. It was a mental note you kept for yourself to save you a chance at heartache. 
“There aren’t any rules against kissing you anywhere else.” Jaehyun whispers against your skin and slowly drops your hand back to your side.
You can’t let it show how much that affected you, how it practically almost caused you to backtrack on this fake dating situation and to jump into his arms. “I didn’t think there was another part of me you’d kiss.” 
“Trust me, there is.” His words could have a million different implications, but somehow you knew just what he was referring to. It shakes your core, bubbles your insides. You’re left without any response and no other thoughts in your head besides ripping his clean linen shirt off of his body.
“Hey lovebirds, come and join us for a toast.” Saved by the bell. Jaehyun takes you by your hand, intertwining your fingers. 
You send him a quick glare, “we will be talking about this during Sunday Recap.”
“Oh, I plan to.” Jaehyun chuckles, full of soul and banter. As he leads you to join the rest of the crowd, you’re bewildered at the heightened emotions that stick to your chest.
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“I think it’s working. Rose asked me if I was free to hang out with her sometime next week.” Jaehyun ever so nonchalantly plants himself on your plush couch. “She never asks me to hang out first.”
“Mhm, that’s great.” You’re partially listening, as you’re fixing up a story to post on your social media of the flower bouquet that Jaehyun bought on his way to your place. “Have fun.”
“Are you actually listening?” He scoffs. Watching your figure walk toward him, you lean down to show him your phone. The image of flowers displayed on your marble countertop with the note very visibly showing who they’re from. Jaehyun nods in approval, hitting the post button before you could triple check yourself.
“Yeah, I’m listening. You and Rose are hanging out next week, I’m glad this charade is working out for you.” There is a small edge in your tone that doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaehyun. He eyes you from the side, trying to decipher the attitude that laces your words.
Something about your demeanor feels off and he’s gotten to know you enough to know that something is bothering you for your lips to turn into a frown. “What are we recapping this Sunday?” He finds that it’s probably best to move on to another topic. 
“Why didn’t you tell me that you guys were each other’s firsts?” Sitting next to him, you face him with frustrated furrowed brows and an annoyed expression. 
“I didn’t think it was important to mention.” You hated how carefree Jaehyun could be. It makes you feel like you’re overreacting, and in this instance, you could be.
“It’s a bit important. This entire time I thought Rose didn’t like you because you were some lame loser that couldn’t pull someone like her.” Your honesty doesn’t fall short today. It’s as if the more you think about the issue, the more annoyed you get.
Jaehyun, quite offended by that statement, sits up from his normally relaxed position as he is ready to defend himself. “You thought that lowly of me?” 
“You made it seem that way.” Throwing your hands in the air, you try to control how loud your voice is growing.
“Or maybe that is just how you perceived me.” He pauses, “Rose and I dated very briefly, three months at most. She broke up with me because I was a bad boyfriend.”
The news of them dating seems to piece all the clues together. The way that Jaehyun looks at Rose makes more sense, it was a look of longing and regret. Rose approached him with full control of the situation, affirming that her decision to break up with him is justified. 
“I didn’t buy her flowers, even when she asked. There was a night when it rained and I knew she was on campus without an umbrella, I left her out there because I fell asleep. When we hung out with our friends, I would ignore her.” 
You’re taken aback at how negligent Jaehyun had been. “So why did you act that way if you like her so much?”
“I took her for granted and I didn’t know how to be someone’s boyfriend.” It is obvious how long Jaehyun had thought about this. He is too self aware to not have. “She wasn’t going to take me back after I fucked up like that, so I thought it would be good to show her through someone else. How I’ve changed.” 
“How do I know it’s not all for show? As if you’re only doing these things to convince everyone you’re boyfriend material until she takes you back and you revert back to your ways.” Your eyes dart to the vase of flowers on your kitchen counter. “There’s no heart in what you do.”
“Are we talking about me and Rose or me and you now?” Jaehyun hits you where it hurts – right in your chest. You’re too stunned to speak, the realization falling on you like heavy bricks. 
“Why don’t we talk about us?” You clear your throat, flashback of Jaehyun kissing your wrist entering your thoughts. “What was that the other night?” 
Jaehyun doesn’t bother playing dumb. “I was really in the moment.” He rests his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and rubbing his hands together. “Looking into your eyes… they’re so mesmerizing, like you understand me with just one look. It causes my heart to swell for you.” 
“You like Rose.” 
“I do, but I’m not blind.” He shoots you a glare. “You’re really going to think that I don’t find you attractive the entire time we've spent together, being intimate with you even if it's fake.” 
“It’s not that, Jaehyun.” You sigh, “I find you attractive too, but you have to remember the original reason we’re doing this.”
“And I do. But I can’t help the feelings that surface when I’m with you.” Visibly frustrated, you both take a second to pause in the conversation to recollect yourselves. His chest heaves up and down, trying to process these feelings now that he has finally admitted them out loud. 
You are trying to keep your composure cool, but it’s hard to bite your tongue from every tight restriction in your heart. You might actually like Jaehyun and it’s not something you are prepared to face.
“I think we dug our heels a little too deep.” Breaking the silence, you look up at Jaehyun with a kinder and more empathetic expression. The heat in the room is suffocating, all the tension filling the crevices in the walls.
“Perhaps, but I wouldn’t have done this with anyone else.” Jaehyun sits up, facing you with a marvel in his eyes and adoration flooding his pupils. “You’re absolutely incredible, in every way.” 
It’s your turn to hold his wrist when he reaches to brush your cheek, “Jae, I think we might have to call it quits.”
“What? But we didn’t break any of the rules.” The sheer sadness in his eyes is painful to witness. It’s like watching a young boy learn how to sacrifice something for the greater good. Jaehyun didn’t want to lose you.
“I broke the one rule I kept to myself and it was not to develop feelings for you.” His wrist drops from your grasp. “I can’t do it anymore, Jaehyun.” 
“You fell for me?”
“How could I not? You’re such a great boyfriend to me, even if it was fake.” Sighing, you ponder if you should continue. “I’m irritated at how you’d buy me flowers, but it’s a bouquet of my favorite ones. I can’t take it every time you’re so insistent about driving me home to ensure I make it back safe. You get along with my friends like you’ve known them forever. When you look at me in the midst of a crowd and it’s just us two.” 
You’re biting back tears that threaten to form at the rim and gripping tightly at the end of your shirt. This is all a tough pill for the both of you to swallow. It’s almost as if Jaehyun didn’t consider this a possibility when he had asked you to fake date. He thought that since he was so infatuated with Rose, he wouldn’t feel anything for anyone else. On top of that, he knew you saw him as some loser. 
“I think we need to just step back from this for a second and take some time to ourselves. I’ve been seeing you every week–”
“But I want to see you every week.” Jaehyun doesn’t mean to be so difficult and in fact, he is usually one to just agree and follow through another person’s decision. However, something within him wants to fight for you. 
“I can’t keep ignoring how I feel for you and it’s unfair to all three of us moving forward.” The hope and joy in your face is evidently depleting. Jaehyun can’t do anything to fix it.
“What does this mean for our project then?” 
“Well, there isn’t any more group work for us to need to see each other. We can complete our individual parts and upload it to the sheet.” It’s like you’ve already thought this through all on your own and prepared for all the counterarguments he was going to have.
Jaehyun scoffs in disbelief and starts grabbing his jacket. “I understand where you’re coming from, I’ll give you the space you need.” 
You can’t even look at him, knowing that you’re not brave enough to face the hurt and pain on his expression. It’s all already in his voice. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I hope you have fun with Rose.” 
With that, he makes his exit from your apartment. The weight on your shoulders is lifted and despite the hole in your chest, you feel like this was one of the better options. The other being that you just suppressed the feelings until they finally got together, but you realized it may have caused you more harm than ease.
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In the midst of Rose talking, Jaehyun finds himself wondering about how you were doing. He hasn’t been able to stop this sinking feeling in his chest since he left your apartment. The lingering thought of you remains well intact, every little thing makes him want to reach out.
“Jae, are you here or did I lose you somewhere else?” Rose chuckles at the stunned boy.
Perking up, he focuses back on the conversation that he had tuned out of a while ago. If you had asked him two weeks ago how excited he was about this hang out with Rose, he would’ve said that he was through the roof. Now, he isn’t sure how he’s feeling.
“I’m sorry, Rosie.” That’s all he could do, Jaehyun knows this too well. “I’ve just got other things on my mind lately.”
“Are things not going well between you and y/n?” She tilts her head and her eyebrows furrowed together, lending a friendly ear. 
Jaehyun shrugs, completely unsure how he could explain the situation with you. “We got into a fight. A lot of feelings became involved that I didn’t know how to handle or react to.” 
Rose sighs, “we used to fight a lot and one thing I hated was that you never came back for me.” Her fingers lightly dance around the rim of her glass. “I know you take time to process your emotions, but the other person will never know how you’re feeling or how you felt if you don’t tell them.” 
He remains quiet, absorbing the advice that Rose is giving. This hangout was supposed to be one where he got her back with him, not one where she consoles him on his current fake relationship with you.
“I think y/n brings out a side of you that I didn’t get when we were together.” Rose admits, giving a soft and knowing smile. “However, I feel like they’re the only person that gets to have that side of you. I don’t want you to lose that shine that they bring out of you. You’re absolutely radiant together.” 
Jaehyun seriously cannot believe what he is hearing. She asks the waiter for the bill and is packing up her things. “Wait, Rose. We’re done here?” 
“Jaehyun, you and I both know that we were done a long time ago.” Rose gives Jaehyun a light squeeze on the wrist. “You should see the way you look at y/n, it’s full of want and excitement.” 
There is a brief moment of realization for Jaehyun. The overwhelming emotions overtake him and before he knows it, he’s running out the door of the restaurant and on his way to the one place he’s been holding back from heading to: the flower shop below your apartment. 
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You’re typing the last bit of your part of the project, nearly trying every way to not engage with the thought of Jaehyun. The take out boxes of dinner scatter your counter as you speedily work your way through long paragraphs. 
The one thing you knew was that Jaehyun had been out with Rose and the pain from that discovery stuck to your heart like glue. You were better off with numerous distractions than thinking about how heavenly of a time he must be having with the literal love of his life.
The sound of your doorbell halts your ruthless typing. With curiosity, you approach the door. You weren’t expecting anyone tonight, so it was strange that there would be someone looking for you. Through the peephole, Jaehyun stands there in all of his glory.
You’re practically tearing down your door at the sight of him, bewildered and slightly annoyed at the sight of him. “What are you doing here?” 
“Something I should’ve done that night at the party.” Before you could fully process his presence, Jaehyun dives into you with lips firmly pressed against yours.
His hot hands cup both of your cheeks, dropping the bouquet of your favorite flowers he had picked up on his way here. But none of that truly mattered more than finally kissing you. 
Your heart swells at the passion that Jaehyun kisses with, it’s loving and strong. Something about it suits him perfectly, like a puzzle piece that completes the picture. Kissing you confirmed everything that Jaehyun had been feeling up to this point.
Fireworks exploding in his chest, he feels an abundance of endorphins lighting his system. Jaehyun has been into you all along. He couldn’t pinpoint why it had been so easy with you, like there were no expectations held against him to be someone extraordinary.
He found himself buying you flowers, but not just anything simple or generic. It had to be your favorite, just so he could see the way your eyes light up at the sight of them. He had to be the one to take you home, making sure he got to spend every second he could with you and that he was the one that got you there safely. 
He wanted to impress your friends, knowing how much they meant to you. And when he looks in the midst of a crowd, all he sees is you.  
Your grip on his shirt almost makes him not want to let go, like you’re so afraid of him going away again. Nonetheless, he takes your hands into his and pulls away. The look of pure shock on your face makes him chuckle, a full robust laugh from the chest. He could kiss you again right then and there.
“You’re so cute when you do that.” Jaehyun smiles gently, holding you in his arms so lovingly like he has done so before. This feels incredibly familiar to him, but it no longer feels like a show. This feeling is very real and the swelling in his chest is very much aching at the sight of you. He wants to give you the world.
“We broke our first rule.” Your mind draws a blank after the kiss and Jaehyun smiling before you as if you two hadn’t ended things a week ago. He picks up the bouquet of your favorite flowers, handing them toward you with inviting eyes.
“No more rules, no more fake dating. I want the real thing.” Jaehyun swallows his spit, noticing how dry his throat had gotten at his confession. You’re staring at him as if he was seriously out of his mind. “With you.” 
And you didn’t think that at the end of all of this, Jaehyun would be at your door with a bouquet of flowers asking you to be his. You proved to Jaehyun that he could love another, while being a better person for them. You truly brought out his boyfriend material, proving to the whole world that Jung Jaehyun is only boyfriend material for you.
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jnnul · 6 months
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a/n: oh my god. it's finished. i've finally written all of her. i genuinely don't know how to explain the relief i feel right now. it feels strange writing this after writing and healing myself through writing this. i hope that anyone in college who's feeling the way y/n or jaehyun did knows that you can and will grow from it. heartbreak is inevitable and so is growth. quick note: feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback!
word count: 20k
tags: college au!, frat boy!jaehyun x girlboss!y/n, honestly it just a dissertation about modern love and how people nowadays love each other, there's a lot of soul searching in this one, i poured my heart and soul into this please love her the way i do warnings: mentions of sex, underage drinking, and general college shenanigans! also explicit mentions of oral sex, uhhh foreplay and sex
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HONESTLY, NOTHING ABOUT JUNG JAEHYUN IS REMOTELY APPEALING TO YOU. you hate the perfect boy act he puts on, you hate his need to impress everyone and everything, and you really fucking hated his dick.
because if it wasn't for his dick, which you were sure is just as perfect as the rest of his stupid self, you wouldn't be awake at inhumane hours, listening to your friend recount their sexcapades.
"oh my god, and then he did this thing with his tongue and i swear, i'm literally never going to be able to have oral again. he's fucking ruined me. i'm genuinely going to just make every guy i fuck put a jaehyun mask on from now onwards just to recreate it," sia yoo, unfortunately one of your best friends, quips dreamily. she yelps when roseanne park, your roommate and singular other voice of reason, throws a pillow at her.
"you sound like a fucking psycho. as in needs to be checked to a mental facility psycho. as in if i hadn't heard worse when you got with johnny suh, i'd be calling the cops right now psycho," roseanne says and easily ducks when sia winds up to throw the pillow back at her. fatima khan, sia's roommate and mother friend extraordinaire, pouts sympathetically with sia as the two of them turn to you as if you would fall on their side.
"sia, baby, honey, love and light of my life - i'm really sorry but i'm with rosie on this one," you say and sia puts on the most theatrical frown you she possibly could before she cocks her head curiously.
"rosie's got a reason for judging jaehyun since she doesn't even like men all that much. what's your excuse, y/n? you like men, judging by the way you were getting railed to next week by that freshie park seonghwa. you've never gotten dicked down by jaehyun."
you're half-tempted so tell sia that it's not fucking weird that you got with seonghwa, considering the fact that you're only a sophomore yourself but you're even more tempted to remind her that even though you were no stranger to a good time, you never recount your stories.
in fact, the only reason why the other three (well, you suppose rosie would know regardless given that you literally live with her) know about your sex life is because you choose to tell them whenever you felt like it. and usually, it was more than three days after the encounter.
you loved your friends, you really did - and sia was notorious for getting into one night stand rehash sessions at ungodly hours, so this was nothing new - but for some reason, every time jaehyun's name came up in the conversation, your skin would prickle with irritation.
maybe it was the fact that every single person around you seemed to be infatuated with him. or the fact that he was just so effortlessly good at capturing the attention of everyone in the room, no matter where he was.
or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that you knew that if you looked too closely into the deep end, you'd fall right in with no life jacket. and jaehyun was an endless ocean.
+++
maybe you had given jaehyun too much credit, you lament. maybe jung jaehyun's as deep as a fucking kiddie pool. you know you're wrong because you were in the same english literature class and the man had been published because the professor liked his prose so much, she had submitted it to a literary journal.
and they had accepted it.
but as you stare at him across the lecture hall, burning holes into the poor guy's skull, you sure think he's stupid. because there was no way in fresh hell that jung jaehyun was in an introduction to east asia class. as a south korean.
people begin settling into their seats as you mull over the possibility that jaehyun had fucked so much, his brain had fallen out through his dick. from the stories of his more than above average size, it was definitely not out of the realm of possibility.
just as you're send a very judgmental text to fatima, who was supposed to be taking the class with you but had had to switch last minute when one of her major required classes opened up, jaehyun gets out of his seat to stand at the front of the room, next to the professor.
you realize belatedly that the people jaehyun had been so animatedly speaking to were none other than bambam and ten - two people who most definitely were in this class. and of course, they had chosen this class over all the others because oh my god, jung jaehyun is the uta for this class.
in hindsight, it makes sense, given that jaehyun is a east asian studies minor and a stellar fucking student. but it doesn't make the text you were about to send fatima any less humiliating as you realize your attempts to undermine his character were desperately failing. you try to backtrack on your phone, deleting the winding paragraph you were about to send her when your thumb slips, accidentally sending a half written message.
you: jaehyun is fucking
you're sure the statement will be true within the next couple hours (the jung bed at the nct frat never seemed to stay empty for too long - and that was just from orientation week last week) but it felt almost blasphemous that you would send a text so crude to your friend when you insisted that you couldn't stand his guts.
or what lay between them, really.
three gray dots appear on your screen as you half-heartedly listen to your professor drone on about how he went to china, became a changed man, and now taught about the wonders of east asia and its exoticism. his name was paul but the class could refer to him by his 'enlightened name' - lao ma. even jaehyun rolls his eyes behind the professor's back as all of the asian kids in the classroom begin to eye each other warily.
if this class wasn't so easy, you're sure the population would've shrunk to a quarter its size based on the weirdness of the professor on its own. or maybe not, if it meant that people got to stare at jaehyun's gorgeous face for an hour and a half every monday morning.
mommy tima 🤍: honey, i think whatever sia's got going is contagious. mommy tima 🤍: aren't you the one who hates him? mommy tima 🤍: he really lives in your mind rent free, huh.
you scoff under your breath as you type furiously, vaguely registering that you definitely need to check the syllabus for this class later because you have not been listening to a word the professor has said this whole time.
you: first sia's got cooties or a raging std that's what she's got going you: second he's my fucking uta you: as in i am going to be forced to see his face for an entire semester mommy tima 🤍: drop the class then, babe. you: can't this is too good for my gpa & the prof's a freak you: it's a gpa cushion and a circus in one go
you tuck your phone away when you see that jaehyun is coming up the aisle on your side with a packet while the professor is on the other aisle on the other side with the same packet to hand out. jaehyun probably wouldn't care that you had your phone out during lecture (syllabus week was just an excuse for college kids to get drunk during school days anyway) but it was the principle of the thing.
"here you go - oh, it's stuck together," jaehyun says as he stops at where you're sitting. his tongue slips out as he thumbs at the packet to give you one instead of three and suddenly, your treacherous brain takes you back to sia's rambling the night before.
and then he did this thing with his tongue...
you're shaken back to reality when you realize that you're staring at a blank wall, with a pink packet in front of you, and jaehyun has already reached the back of the classroom.
fuck. shit. bitch.
jaehyun had seen you stare at his stupidly handsome face and then some. he was your ta. oh my god, what if he docked points on some test because he thought you were the creepy stalker type.
damn you, sia yoo, you curse in your head.
+++
"damn you, sia yoo!" you yell over the blaring music that's so loud, you can feel the vibrations in your skull. there absolutely no reason you should be caught dead in a frat on the friday of syllabus week but sia had made it her mission to make sure you had a going out rate of at least 80% this school year, given that you were prone to trying to skip out on weekends out last year.
not that you didn't like going out - you actually really liked going out with your friends. you just took a little more inertia to get to the energy levels of actually going on.
sia just nods at you lazily as she bounces to the beat of another shitty remix of 'what you came for' by calvin harris and rihanna. you never understood why frats always found the worst remixes of classic party bangers but anything flew after you had enough alcohol in your system so the music would recede to the depths of your mind in a couple cups of whatever the fuck this drink was.
especially since you were a full sunshine drunk; whenever you were drunk, you became the life of the party and would always be found in the center of the room, regardless of the music. sia was a flirty drunk and you really couldn't remember the last time sia actually spent the entire weekend in her own bed. props to her stamina, honestly.
rosie was a mix of you and sia in that she would become so much more bubbly but the second she found someone she wanted to spend the night with, she went after them with no hesitation.
fatima usually played the role of sober mommy when you all went out. although she was never one to miss out on a good time, when she did get drunk, she much preferred it to be within the confines of the four walls that she shared with her roommate and the people she trusted the most - you, rosie, and sia.
which is why when rosie abandons you for her on again, off again fuck buddy (miyeon cho) and her fuck buddy (yugyeom kim), you're not surprised at all.
"that's going to be an interesting story in the morning," you say, nodding to where rosie, miyeon, and yugyeom are all heading upstairs together. fatima nudges you to look at sia, where she's pressed up against none other than johnny suh (or the love of her life, prior to jaehyun, apparently).
"that's going to be an interesting story in the afternoon," fatima counters. you turn to her with furrowed eyebrows, as if to question the timing. "i don't think i've ever heard of a girl leaving johnny's bed before 3 o'clock the next afternoon."
your jaw hangs in shock as you watch your friend wrap her arms around the tall man's neck, whispering something into his ear when he bends down to kiss her collarbone.
"are all of the nct boys secretly porn stars or something? how can they all be that good in bed?" you gape, waving at sia when she turns around to wink at you and fatima as her and johnny are bustling out of the door, undoubtedly to the nct frat house.
"they test us as part of rushing," says a low, velvety voice behind you. a hot rush of shame runs up your spine for two reasons: a) you were able to recognize jung jaehyun just from his voice and b) he heard you gossiping about his frat brothers' sexual prowess.
you exchange a look with fatima before whipping around to meet jaehyun eye to eye. he's wearing a plain black t-shirt and lightwash distressed jeans but he might as well be wearing designer trash bags for all you care. what you do care about, unfortunately, is the almost slutty way his v-neck dips to show off the beginnings of the planes of his chest.
you feel no better than a victorian man and it takes fatima a poorly concealed cough to break you out of your thoughts. fuck, you'd done it again. you really needed to stop getting caught up in jung jaehyun's pretty face. and body. and that stupid smile.
"haha. very funny. sounds like something straight out of a cheesy porno sponsored by viagra or something," you say, rolling your eyes. smooth. very smooth. normally, you like to think that you're proficient in the witty banter department but something about this boy made you almost feel dumb about your comebacks.
jaehyun cocks an eyebrow, and you're distinctly made aware that even with platform sneakers on, jaehyun is a good head taller than you when you have to look upwards to notice the motion. "you seem to be well versed, y/n. you make it a habit to stay up to date?"
you flush at the thinly veiled euphemism at your x-rated movie watching habits before clearing your throat. "i'm more of a fan of practical study, really. i am a scientist, after all."
you're aware that fatima has slipped away from you to talk to another friend, park jeonghwa, and also the fact that you are slowly beginning your descent into drunkenness but you can't seem to bring yourself to find the caution in it all. it's just jaehyun, after all.
jaehyun hums, bringing the solo cup in his hand to his lips to take a swig. "you're a biomedical engineering major, aren't you?"
you balk at that. "wait, wait. you know my name and my major?"
jaehyun nods slowly, seemingly stumbling for a moment before he gains his self-confidence once more. "you don't know mine?"
"you're literally my ta. i know you're an east asian studies minor and your name because you told the class," you say, recovering quickly. it was a really good thing you were a quick thinker because you were lying through your teeth.
you knew jaehyun's name, minor, and even major (computer science) because of his notorious reputation, not because he was your ta. but the last thing you wanted was to give him the satisfaction of asserting his popularity on campus.
"anyway. what was that you were saying about 'practical study'?" jaehyun's eyes twinkle in the dim lighting of the cramped basement you were in and you had a feeling that if you were any more inebriated, you'd be diving headfirst into jung jaehyun's bed as long as he looked at you like that.
but fortunately (unfortunately?) you're sober enough to make mostly intelligent decisions - which just means that you're not going to jump headfirst. maybe feet first but not headfirst.
"wouldn't you like to know," you sing-song, leaning into jaehyun's body enough to smell the mix of woody pine, fresh water, and vodka that seems to emanate from him. jaehyun watches you as you lean over him to grab another solo cup from the assortment that some lower ranked frat brother had been forced into bartending.
you down the entire drink in two swigs, patting away the stray stream of alcohol that had dripped down onto your chest. you don't notice the way jaehyun's eyes follow your hand down its descent to your chest. but you finally feel like your element, and in a moment of sheer idiocy and liquid courage, you enter the growing throng of bodies behind you, beckoning jaehyun to follow you.
you're not 100% sure what you want from him, honestly. you want to have a good time, and you're sure you'll have one with or without him. but something about the way jaehyun follows you like a puppy into the mess of people makes you feel like a zap of electricity has hit your body.
and if you're being completely honest with yourself (as you usually only are with ethanol in your system), you really didn't hate jaehyun. you had no qualms with him as a person, even if you hated the consequences that came with a night with him.
it's when you're in the middle of the crowd, with jaehyun looking at you with those hooded eyes and hands tucked into his pockets when you realize what you want from jaehyun jung.
you want him to desire you the way that his mere presence makes people desire him.
so you do what you do best and just let go. it's ric flair drip by metro boomin that's playing - a song that's definitely not the one to get down to. but the bass fills you up in a way that never hits the same outside of a sweaty frat basement so you can't even bring yourself to care.
"i'm tryna fuck you and your bestie," you sing along with the near hundred people surrounding you. jaehyun is still looking at you with an eyebrow sitting higher and an appraising expression; something that somehow manages to get under your skin.
in a moment of passion, you manage to hook your fingers into one of jaehyun's belt loops, pulling him closer to you. you're aware that you've painted yourself to be jaehyun's next conquest if the way that the girls next to you look upset means anything, but you couldn't care less.
especially when you're this close to the bane of your existence. the song switches to something a little more what you need (under the influence by chris brown) and you look up at jaehyun through your lashes and in that moment, jaehyun knows what you're offering him through your gaze.
a challenge.
+++
jaehyun never really meant to take on the role of nct's resident whore. in fact, jaehyun had been planning on doing the exact opposite when he came to college.
although it was unbelievable now, jaehyun jung had originally just been a very strange, nerdy, and sweet boy. he never got up to much trouble, kept to himself most of the time, and was known for...nothing, really. he was sweet and bubbly but he wasn't exactly running with the popular crowd.
in fact, jaehyun was kinda forgotten all throughout his schooling. it was easy to forget about jaehyun, as though he were some visage in a dream that everyone shared.
it hurt.
so when jaehyun finally hit his growth spurt in senior year, started going to the gym, and his voice no longer cracked every other sentence, he felt like a whole new person. like he was finally the main character in his own life.
it felt so fucking good to look at the same girls who had smiled at him pitifully and have them melting under a single wink. the summer between high school and college had been wild, with more stories than jaehyun could really even care to keep track of.
but when college began, jaehyun was fully intending to return to flying under the radar with his new upgrade in personality, appearance, and wardrobe. with a face like his, however, doing so was about as easy as trying to pass professor yoon's intro to bio class - nearly impossible.
slowly but surely, jaehyun morphed back into the personality he had adopted that summer and surprisingly, it wasn't as foreign as he thought. he was still a good student and wasn't a stranger to having to skip out on hanging out with his friends to study.
but having a new girl in his bed every other day? that was definitely new. a new revelation, but a welcome one nonetheless.
and in that, jaehyun was used to people using all sorts of tactics to get with him. playing hard to get, with coy smiles and flirtatious winks. or the bold ones, who told him straight up that they wanted to spend the night with him. even the downright horrifying ones who tried to pretend like they were blackout drunk in hopes that that would 'attract' him. spoiler alert? it didn't.
jaehyun originally thought you were of the 'hard to get' caliber. the type of girl to say that she wasn't like other girls and that's why he should get with her instead. so initially, when he approached you at the party after seeing you in his class, he was mentally preparing himself for the whole pick me speech.
but it was something about the way you looked at him.
it was like two halves of your mind were battling against each other. on one hand, you looked like you wanted to fax jaehyun straight into the fiery pits of hell with high speed shipping. on the other, it also seemed like you wanted nothing more than to ride him until the sun came up. mixed with a little bit of curiosity, confusion, and downright anger with yourself for all the emotions, you looked like the perfect cocktail of firebrand that jaehyun couldn't help but become intrigued by.
so when you were laughingly talking to your best friend (jaehyun's frat brother kun was half in love with fatima, which meant that jaehyun was more than well acquainted with her) about him and frat brothers, he took it to be the opportunity he needed.
and when you're looking at him like this, daring him to make a move, almost as if to make your mind fall one way or another about drawing a conclusion on him, what is jaehyun to do but to make good on the challenge you've offered?
he watches you for a moment more, trying to commit the memory of what you look like when you're this carefree and happy, before taking the micro-step it takes to get so close he can smell the citrus and apple cider that you seem to always smell like.
"i promise you i can fuck you better than johnny," jaehyun says, a corner of his lips tilted up as your eyes flutter the closer he draws.
"johnny's your 'bestie'?" you say, and jaehyun can tell that the last threads of your resolve are starting to snap by the way that your hand is now pressed against his chest.
"that's what you're curious about right now? the dynamics of the nct frat brothers?" jaehyun asks but he knows that this back and forth is exactly you need right now; the time to decide if you can take the plunge. or if jaehyun's worth your time tonight.
"as i mentioned, i'm a scientist," you say, and even as your voice stays stable, your fingers seem to leave burning trails against jaehyun's skin as they dip and feed into crevices of jaehyun's body that he didn't even know existed.
"hmm," jaehyun manages to eke out when your fingers lace into his hair. he's not sure how you manage to find every single sensitive spot he has but he's fairly impressed by the way you catch his breath hitching as you work your other hand up as well.
"hmm? cat got your tongue, jaehyun?" you say, making sure that jaehyun looks straight into your eyes as you lean impossibly closer. "you know that sia's with johnny right now, right? girls talk - especially with your best friends. which means that if you can't make good on your promise, i will find out."
jaehyun feels like he's sweating like a pig but thankfully, you don't notice, too busy making him sweat. he clears his throat once, and then twice to make sure that his voice doesn't give out.
"that right?" he says, and you roll your eyes, letting go of him and stepping back. you seem to appraise him for a moment (and jaehyun is unnaturally nervous about what you will decide) before grabbing his hand and leading him to the door. you only pause to flag down fatima, who takes one look at your intertwined hands, and waves the two of you away.
jaehyun blushes like a schoolgirl at the way fatima flashes him a catty smile.
"i swear to god, jaehyun, if you're all talk and no game - or if you're gonna sit still and look pretty the whole time - i will literally blue ball you. i don't do pillow princes," you throw over your shoulder as the two of you make your way to the nct frat. jaehyun knows for a fact that the nct frat will not be a quiet place tonight by the number of dresses and pants he sees in the foyer and leading the way up the stairs.
he says nothing, even as you're quite nearly storming up the stairs with a certain level of urgency, almost as though if you were to slow down and think about just exactly what you're doing, you'd turn around and leave right now.
jaehyun definitely can't let that happen.
so the second that he gets you into his bedroom (he had to rock, paper, scissors with doyoung to get the room tonight), he shuts the door and locks it behind him. he turns around to see you looking between the two beds, as if trying to guess which one was jaehyun's.
he mentally pats himself on the back when he sees the fresh sheets on the bed. reaching where you stand in less than a stride, jaehyun turns you so that you're facing his bed, and you squirm to turn to meet his eyes even as his hands are on your waist.
"what is with your hands?" you ask harshly and jaehyun blinks as he looks down.
"what do you mean? they're on your waist," jaehyun says softly, and once again, he's hit with a wave of citrus and apple cider. you simper at him, grabbing his wrist and moving it incriminatingly downwards.
"what am i? a virgin? put them somewhere useful." you whisper the last part and it's as though jaehyun has just woken up.
"you know," jaehyun begins, sliding his other hand downwards to sit comfortably on the curve of your ass. "if i didn't know any better, i'd think you were trying to rile me up. i wonder..."
he doesn't finish his thought, instead pulling you close so that your hips are pressed against his. he can hear the gasp that you're desperately trying to conceal, coughing uselessly to the side. a devilish smirk grows on jaehyun's lips and for the first time in a long time, you're sure you're going to be up all night.
+++
you were, in fact, trying to rile him up. you had heard all the rumors about jaehyun and johnny, about how one night with them was like one night in heaven. hell, you'd had first hand accounts from sia yoo about exactly what it's like to be in bed with either of them - multiple times.
so when jaehyun had fronted with such a cautious attitude when he realized what you wanted, you were almost offended. if you wanted to take control and fuck a man's brains out, you could do that with anyone. why would you fight against your own mind this much to get with him?
but seonghwa park. changkyun im. even kun qian, before you discovered he was head over heels for fatima. jung jaehyun.
these were all people who put you in your place. the way you wanted to be. it just seemed as though jaehyun might've needed a little more persuasion to get there.
so yes, you were riling him up. was that such a crime?
by the way jaehyun's looking at you right now, his breath hot and heavy on your neck and his eyes dark with a feeling that you can't describe but resonates with you on a deeper, more primal level.
"you know, after you got with kun, he wouldn't shut up about it for a week," jaehyun says, pressing kisses down your neck, pausing when he reaches your breastbone. he eyes your corset top with a discerning eye before reaching behind you to pull the lace strings that were precariously holding your top for a week.
"yeah?" you ask, threading your fingers through jaehyun's thick hair as he makes quick work of your top, leaving it pooled on the floor as his lips find your chest as though he couldn't be physically parted from it.
"yeah. even after he met fatima, he said that you were the best he's ever had - that's a big reputation to live up to when you're in nct," jaehyun says, his voice breathy and deep as he walks you backwards so that the back of your knees hit the frame of his bed.
"hmm. what can i say? i know what i want and what i want is usually lots of fun," you say, letting jaehyun unzip your jeans, pulling them down and kicking them off when jaehyun moves too slowly.
"i know. god, after knowing that you and kun were going at it, i swear everyone was jerking off in their room for an hour. even winwin wanted to go for you today. you're an unpredictable woman; no one knows where and when you're going to show up to one of the parties so everyone has to take their chances when they get them," jaehyun says, tugging his shirt off and throwing it somewhere behind him carelessly.
you nearly melt when you see jaehyun's uncovered top, eyeing each and every hard ridge of his body, reaching out to touch him. his chest is almost soothingly warm as your fingers memorize each and every aspect of the planes of his chest, almost worried that they might disappear if you let go.
jaehyun looks at you amusingly as he lets your fingers dance across his body, focusing on tugging your panties off to discard them where he's sure he's going to have to search for them later on.
you pout when you see the difference in clothing but jaehyun just gently pushes you backwards so that your back is against his bed, leaving your pussy exposed in away that makes you feel absolutely mortified. you move to gain some level of privacy back but jaehyun is too fast, gripping onto your thighs incriminatingly as he raises an eyebrow.
"don't think that i'm soft just because i'm being nice to you now, pretty girl. i know you don't like to listen but don't hide from me. i will not let you have any fun if you try to hide from me," jaehyun says, his voice dropping a full octave. you suppress the shiver that runs through your body (and that simultaneously delights jaehyun) as you nod softly.
he seems satisfied by the way your body melts and rewards you for your submission by licking a wet strip up your pussy, one hand snaking up to touch your nipple while the other one keeps your thighs open.
jaehyun is slow at first, exploring each and every hidden crevice of your body but as he feels you get wetter and wetter, he can't seem to stay soft for too long. he continues to press his lips against yours but the moment you try to grind your hips against his lips, he pulls away, his tongue darting out to taste your essence on him.
you almost whine at the loss of his hot mouth on your pussy, and you're embarrassed to realize that in front of jaehyun jung, you are no better than your best friend in falling in love with the way he moves.
"you're not going to cum from my tongue, baby," jaehyun says, practically ripping the belt out from where it was caging his jeans. "especially when i know that your pussy is magic."
"you say that, jaehyun, but you're being so fucking soft. if i didn't know any better, i'd think you're in love with me," you snort, trying to catch your breath. jaehyun freezes from where his boxers are hanging so low on his hips, you can see the muscles in his pelvis tense angrily as he looks at you dangerously.
"my fucking bad for making sure you're wet enough to take me," jaehyun whispers, pulling close to you. his eyes turn even darker than usual and a small spark of excitement ignites in your chest when you realize that you've finally reached it - jaehyun's breaking point.
"sounds like you're scared, jaehyun. you know what? you know why kun was so good? because he wasn't scared. he wasn't scared to fuck me like he was trying to break the bed," you retort, and saying kun's name is when jaehyun finally snaps. he tears his boxers off as he pushes you so that you're further up on his bed.
"y/n, i'm not fucking joking around. if you want me to stop, say it now. just say the word, and i'll pretend like this never happened. because i swear to every god in existence, if you let me, i'll ruin every other man for you," jaehyun says and his knuckles turn white from how hard his clenching his fingers to keep himself from pouncing. the thought is almost cute if you weren't desperate to be fucked into next week.
"if i wanted you to stop, i wouldn't have said kun's name, would i?"
that's all it takes. no sooner do the words leave your mouth, jaehyun's on top of you, every inch of his body fighting to claim yours. he's not sure what it is about being with a bratty girl but every time a girl tries to challenge him, jaehyun can feel his excitement grow as his mind runs wild with ways to prove you wrong.
and with a girl as beautiful and sexy as you? he was going to have the time of his life.
time of his life he does.
+++
when jaehyun wakes up, he's almost happy. almost because he has bruises on his hips from how hard he had pounded into you, a litter of hickeys across his chest, and freshly washed hair from when you had enticed him into taking a shower with you.
inevitably, it led to another hour in the shower that jaehyun had spent having his soul sucked out from his dick, eating you out under the shower, and seeing you cum twice just from his tongue.
if only he had woken up with you still in his bed, jaehyun would've actually been happy.
realistically, jaehyun had no clue what he was expecting. after taking a shower, it had taken you a total of five minutes to fall asleep in his arms, wearing nothing but jaehyun's oversized t-shirt and your panties.
there was no pillowtalk, no heart to hearts, nothing. no discussions of having whatever happened last night happening again. no trying to get to know each other better.
not that you had ever been obligated to do so. if anything, jaehyun was far more obligated to do so, after practically declaring that he had wanted to get with you since last semester - which he had been completely serious about.
but with his reputation, regardless of what he had said last night, jaehyun's almost 100% sure that you would've disappeared by the morning.
he's so caught up in his thoughts that he almost misses the bright pink post-it note on his neatly folded shirt on his desk in the corner of the room.
9.5/10. if you see sia, tell her she was right about your tongue. see you in intro to east asia on monday.
jaehyun's half disappointed and half happy. disappointed because you'd never left your number or anything and happy because at least he knew that you weren't going to completely avoid him whenever you ran into each other next.
he shakes his head as he folds the post-it note and throws it in the trash can next to his desk.
jaehyun jung may not have started college with the intention of becoming the resident fuckboy but he still had a reputation to maintain. he had fucked countless women over his time at sm university and he had no intention of falling for any of them.
he was not about to get soft-hearted or soft-dicked by a girl he was with once.
even if she was really good in bed. like really really good. like good enough to make him think about the other boys she's been with and if they'd made you feel as good as he did.
fuck. her. which jaehyun had already done. which meant that he needed to move onto the next step of the day before his head exploded with all of the implications flying around in his mind about their relation to each other (nonexistent) and if you were thinking about him like he was thinking of you (you weren't).
he pads out of his room, passing doyoung on the way out, who claps him on the back and says, "you finally got with y/n?" jaehyun doesn't know how doyoung knows but it strikes him that neither of you are very subtle people and you had caused quite the scene leaving with him last night.
similar reactions are offered to him by everyone he passes. he's not really sure how many of the boys you've been with but jaehyun can feel his street cred go up by at least a decameter with the way some of these pledges are looking at him.
in fact, everyone is looking at him with a new look of respect in their eyes until he reaches the kitchen, where yoo sia and johnny are sitting, practically eye-fucking.
jaehyun was very used to seeing johnny's friends in the kitchen the next day, neither of them ready to really say goodbye each other yet but for some reason, knowing that sia was your best friend and seeing her with johnny sets jaehyun's stomach into a series of knots that he was sure he was going to have to unravel when he had his head on straight.
"she already left?" sia says, finally breaking her stare from johnny's. jaehyun shrugs, digging around the fridge to see if they had any coffee. they didn't (none that wasn't expired anyway) so he has to settle for a caprisun.
"she had somewhere to be," jaehyun says. he wants to ask sia if it's normal for you to leave that early. it can't be if sia seems surprised that you'd left before the clock struck ten. what did that mean? what does that say about jaehyun? oh god. what if you hated it. what if you hated it so much that you didn't want to spend a second longer with jaehyun.
he cringes as he locks eyes with another shiny eyed pledge (jaehyun thinks his name is jungwoo) and tries to shake his head to clear any and all thoughts of you. he was pussydrunk. that was the only explanation. he just needed to dick down someone else and then he would get over whatever little infatuation thing he had going on.
"really? hmm..." sia says finally. jaehyun turns to see her looking right at him and suddenly, he's transported back to the previous weekend, when sia had been wrapped up in his sheets.
+++
"why did you start fucking around like this?" sia had asked, her chest still heaving from their previous illicit activities as she wraps herself tighter in jaehyun's sheets. jaehyun pauses for a moment as he catches his breath, pulling on his boxers as he thinks. he throws the shirt that sia's grabbing at, still not sure how to piece together his thoughts.
or why he wants to tell sia the truth. maybe it's because no one's ever asked about it before, but jaehyun feels strangely vulnerable as sia watches as he clambers back into his bed, her expression pensive and uncharacteristically wise.
"i don't know," jaehyun says honestly, laying over the covers as he feels his face grow hotter under sia's unrelenting stare. "i think it's because i wanted to know what it felt like. to know what it felt like to be wanted for a night instead of just being in the sidelines as the guy with the potential. just the guy that people brought along as the friend of the hot guys that kept him around."
sia doesn't say anything, instead turning so that she was lying on her back. jaehyun turns to look at her, to see if he could decipher some level of understanding from her silence. really, he knows that he should feel embarrassed about confessing his insecurities to a girl that he's hooked up with two or three times but he can't bring himself to for some reason.
maybe it's because he knows that she wouldn't say anything about it to anyone. or because he knows that she's head over heels for johnny, whether she'd admit it or not. or maybe it's just because for the first time, someone had asked something about jaehyun just to get to know him as a person, rather than trying to get him in their bed.
not that he really minded that - it just made him feel like it was all a lot more transactional than he was used to. he had been a romantic once upon a time. when you grew up with the nickname of 'valentine boy', it would have been stranger if he didn't have some sense of romance.
but jaehyun's penchant for romance disappeared almost just as soon as he realized that no one else was yearning for a pure type of love like he was.
and yet, it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. turns out that jaehyun's a very adaptable man. if he wouldn't find love in this decade, then perhaps it would be lust that he would have to settle for.
"then again," he begins, gaze darting over to where sia had slipped on his t-shirt as she tiredly begins to settle down in his bed once more. "isn't that what everyone is doing nowadays? looking for a warm body for the night, instead of a genuine connection?"
sia snorts at that, turning so that she was facing jaehyun now. "don't tell me that you're one of the boomer types. the ones who always go around peacocking about how they were born in the wrong generation and that they're one of the 'good guys'. i might actually leave right now if you are."
"no, no i'm not. well. maybe a little bit. but i don't know why that's so bad to be honest," jaehyun acquiesces finally. sia rolls her eyes, but even she goes quiet for a moment. once again, jaehyun's reminded that this is sia yoo - a girl who routinely wakes up in someone else's sheets every saturday (although it was johnny's more often than not) and as sexist as it was, someone who carried a reputation for it. even jaehyun was surprised to find that she was such a deep conversationalist.
of course, he mentally berates himself soon after but he can't help the thought. for him, sia was just the girl he would get with a couple times. a good time. the fact that that's the only role she fulfilled in his mind made him feel disgusting inside out as he waits for her response, vowing that he would work to change his mindset. or maybe just change personalities altogether. ick.
"you know one of my best friends? y/n? the one who got with kun before he decided to go clean for fatima?" sia says with a careful tone. jaehyun nods, not trusting that he wouldn't say something dumb after his sudden realization of his flawed thinking.
"this is something she always says but it's honestly pretty simple: love is however you want to define it. humans spend so much trying to find labels and definitions for things that just might not have or need them. for such an advanced species, we spend so much time concerned about how to put a feeling into a box or how to classify a thought instead of rejoicing in the fact that we had such a beautiful feeling in the first place."
"for people in this generation, the old school love is hard to find because they've got so many other types of love that weren't allowed back when old school love was big. it's a different type of freedom to love someone on the weekends but never to fall in love with them. maybe we're just romanticizing hookup culture but who's to say that we can't? maybe we're all more romantic than we want to admit. maybe when we fall into the sheets with someone we barely know, we're looking for a fragment of love to satiate our heart in ways we didn't know it needed."
jaehyun doesn't know what to say to that so he just pulls her closer to him and she lets him, throwing her leg over his as they fall asleep, closer to each other than they had ever been.
+++
you're not sure what had compelled you to leave so quickly that morning. you usually like to get the boys who sleep with to at least cook you breakfast before you left (for compensation of being terrible in bed, if the situation so called for it) but for some reason, every instinct in your body had pulled you to leave.
you had waken up at nearly 5 in the morning, a mere two and a half hours after the two of you had fallen asleep, gathered your clothes, and were about to leave when you turn to look at jaehyun, still snoring away peacefully, his arm crossing his body to rest on the empty space next to him that you had occupied previously.
you had a feeling that you're going to lament leaving this early after psychoanalyzing why you were leaving so early later in the day but for now, if your gut was telling you to leave, you were going to heed the precautions.
but even as you're about to leave, you find yourself turning to jaehyun's desk, sparse but somehow still a little messy as you rummage for a post-it note and a pen to write with. you grin to yourself when you find yourself successful (and endearing somehow that jaehyun has bright pink post-it notes).
you pass a brother on the way out (undoubtedly a freshman who had received the short stick of the duties tonight) but you wave him off when he offers to walk you home. dangerous? most definitely. but you really needed the time and space to yourself and the short, almost ten minute walk back to your apartment would offer some enlightenment.
spoiler alert: it didn't. no matter how hard you wracked your brain to come up with some version of a logical explanation, you realized that there was just simply no way to do so.
and something about that frustrated you. you knew it wasn't a big deal. jaehyun was just a hook-up. a one night stand. and yet...something wasn't fitting right in your mind. so you start to think in the only way you know how, collecting all of the pieces of information you did have.
a) you just had sex - mind-blowing sex with jaehyun. he was everything you expected and more when it came to a sexual partner. b) you didn't develop feelings for him. sex comes fifth on the list of things you subconsciously (or now consciously, since you've spoken it into existence) have when looking for a potential boyfriend. first comes personality, then intelligence, then ambition, then looks, and then sex. you didn't even have a conversation long enough to figure out if jaehyun had more than three brain cells to piece together. c) jaehyun jung had confessed that he had wanted to get with you since last semester. did he mean with you-r body or with you?
you shake your head as if to physically shake the irrational thoughts in your mind out and press your id against the scanner at the entrance of your apartment building, rubbing your fingers against your temples as you get into the elevator to reach your apartment.
unlocking the door to your (empty) apartment, you decide to shelf the thoughts for some time when your head wasn't pounding and collapse on your bed, thanking the lords you'd had the sense to take a shower at jaehyun's.
and the last thing you remember is the smell of jaehyun's shampoo in your hair as you drift into blissful, dreamless sleep.
+++
you're not surprised to feel a weight on your bed when you wake up the next morning. you blearily open your eyes to make out sia's general figure, rosie and fatima undoubtedly chatting quietly in the kitchen.
you vaguely piece together something about fatima having kun over but him sleeping on the couch and you try to push down the guilt that creeps up into your brain as you realize that you had left fatima alone at the party. a party where all of you knew a lot of people (and the outcome was just as everyone had thought it would be) but the principle of the matter stung nonetheless.
you push aside the thought - along with the idea that you should probably apologize to fatima when the cottony feeling in your mouth started to subside - in favor of looking at sia, who is strangely quiet as she watches you gather yourself. for her boisterous personality, sia yoo could see through anyone to the extent of theorized telepathy so you don't even bother trying to hide anything from her.
although, it really is hard to take her seriously when she's got hickey's littered across her neck. well. you suppose you don't look much better at the moment.
"you left before 10 o'clock," sia says simply. you don't pretend to not understand what she means as you nod, pushing yourself up on your bed as fatima and rosie also enter, rosie handing you a glass of water.
"i know," you say softly. "but i want to hear about everyone else's nights right now. i just don't know that i'm in the right headspace to think about why i left so early - i'm not even sure i know why i left so early."
sia says nothing for a moment, watching your face, almost as if she were trying to read your very essence. but she relents, reaching out to hold your hand briefly before completely switching up, speaking animatedly about her very adventurous night, leaving you to simmer in your thoughts.
had sia always been this smart? probably. who's to say that she wasn't, after all?
turns out that sia and johnny were actually going to go on a date on wednesday, after realizing that their chemistry extended further out of the bedroom than either of them had expected. sia was through the roof, obviously, given that she had been thirsting over johnny (although more in a sexual sense than anything else) for so long.
rosie, miyeon, and yugyeom also worked a lot better than any of them had thought so you were sure that you were going to lose your roommate to the other '97 liners more often for the foreseeable future.
fatima was the only one who had a pg night, with kun coming over to her apartment and just chilling together the whole night, eventually having him sleep over since he was too tired to walk back to the apartment that he lived out (it was on the other side of campus, given that he moved out of the nct house pretty late into the semester last year).
"speaking of kun, when are you guys gonna make it official? i mean after this year, you guys are going to only have one year together before you guys graduate," you say, bunching your comforter before letting go. it felt weird saying that. especially in regards to your friends. theoretically, you had all the time in the world together.
but all the time in the world wasn't enough when it came to these girls.
fatima sighs before getting up, wringing her hands together as she thinks. "i don't know. i mean kun's graduating a year early so i really only have this year left. i - i know how much he likes me. i know that he wants to do this right way. go the whole nine yards."
"but...?" rosie says, elongating the syllables as you and sia look at her patiently. fatima shakes her head, getting up to walk around the room, six paces enough to take her from one side of your room to the other.
"i just don't know. kun's great and honestly, i really think that's the one. or at least one of the ones for me. but i just don't know if my parents would be okay with it. i mean my parents are great! they give me so much freedom and honestly, i'm really thankful that my parents allowed me to find religious and spiritual freedom on my own, without ever trying to shove it down my throat."
"but at the same time...how can i betray their trust in me by dating someone who is so far from my religion? like. kun is a great guy but he's not muslim. and sure, i don't follow a lot of the stricter things in islam but i - i have god in my heart. and i don't know that god would want me to start a family that doesn't follow islam. especially since i can see that in my future with kun and kun - i don't know that i could ask kun to convert to another religion for me."
the room is silent for a little bit after fatima finishes, with her collapsing in your bed next to you. rosie and sia exchange a look with each other, and then you, as they both decide to leave the room, leaving you to console fatima.
you were always the most philosophical one out of the bunch anyway.
"look, fatima, i can't pretend to know what it's like to have that kind of mental burden and i really can't understand what it's like to think about the future and be concerned about the impact on the world you might create. i read about something the other day though - did you know that kun means 'manifesting' or 'believing' in arabic?" fatima looks at you with disbelief written all over her face, shaking her head.
"how did you know that?" she asks and you just shrug, nodding at the 'islam for dummies' book you had bought in hopes of understanding a little bit more about one of your closest friend's religion.
"that's not the point. but fatima, you are the single kindest, most beautiful person i know. and i have faith that you will choose what's right for you, not what's right for the people around you because you know better than everyone that the only person who can judge you is god. and no one - no one - on this earth has the right to take that peace away from you."
fatima is silent before wrapping you in her arms, the soft material of her hoodie comforting you and lulling you back into a sleep that's dreamless and calm.
+++
jaehyun doesn't know what to expect when he walks into intro to east asia on monday. should he say hi? wave? start a conversation? should he acknowledge that he spent the better part of his weekend wondering if he would lose his fuckboy status if someone realized just how down bad he was for you?
probably anything but the last one was a good idea.
jaehyun was not in a good state of mind. he was a hot 19 year old man with a near perfect gpa (a whopping 3.98 only because he got a singular a-), a not so terrible set of dimples, and a killer body. and yet he was walking around like how he had been prior to his enlightening summer.
it's almost freeing but also humiliating to think that one night in bed was enough to make him start an entire philosophy but that was where jaehyun was at so who was he to question anything, really?
in fact, jaehyun is so caught up in what he would name his new branch of philosophy (loserism, with a lot of inspiration from zeno) that he doesn't even realize that you've already walked past him and taken your seat.
third row, first seat. you're putting your bag down next to your chair, pulling out your laptop, tossing your hair over your shoulder when it falls in your face. jaehyun tears his eyes away, knowing that this was not a good look for him.
if jaehyun really wanted to pursue you, which he was sure was where all of his jumbled emotions were eventually going to lead him anyway, he knew for a fact that you weren't going to be interested in having to take the lead. especially if jaehyun wasn't even sure that you were interested in the possibility.
but that's a struggle for another day. what was it that stephanie laurens said? that all women want sometimes is a little old-fashioned loving?
that was, in fact, the opposite of what sia had said you were really into but jaehyun had a sneaking suspicion that you wouldn't mind handing the reigns over in the decision making process portion of a relationship, or the courtship, if your time together this weekend alluded to anything.
jaehyun almost misses the beginning of the lecture, where professor ma (no one actually calls him that besides himself) was going into some of his favorite places to stay during his time in china. and while missing any portion of professor ma's lecture was of no crime, he also almost misses the way that you're looking straight at him, faking a yawn when jaehyun finally locks eyes with you.
professor ma was known for giving stellar recommendation letters (which was why johnny had coerced jaehyun into ta'ing for his class in the first place) but he was such a pain in the ass.
jaehyun has to keep from laughing out loud when he sees your exaggerated gestures to show how boring you were finding the professor's lecture to be, pulling himself together in time for him to finally be able to take a seat in the back of the classroom, professor ma having asked him to take attendance for the some two hundred students in the classroom. by hand.
he almost drops the piece of paper that you slide into his hand, subtly slipping it into the pocket of his basketball shorts as makes his way up the flight of stairs to the tenth row, dropping his backpack on the floor next to him, in a rush to open the delicate piece of paper in his hands.
there's only three words on the piece of paper and a series of dashes and yet jaehyun knows that this is all he needs. this is all the signal he needs to know that he wasn't imagining the chemistry or the tension between the two of you. and fuck what anyone said about his 'reputation'; it was jaehyun's turn - the old jaehyun's turn - to get the chance to experience the relationship he had always been dreaming of.
he rereads the little piece of paper before smiling and tucking it into his pocket again.
earn the rest. 9__-___-____.
+++
johnny suh is getting whiplash from his best friend's actions.
one day, he's asking sia yoo if her best friend usually leaves her one night stands by the time they wake up. then he's throwing said one night stand's notes into the trash can before leaving for some frat meeting or another.
the next day, he's carrying another note from the same one night stand he can't seem to get out of his head.
jaehyun doesn't tell johnny anything. he really doesn't need to at this point. johnny suh is a senior in college and he's pretty much seen it all. he's also the vice president of a frat - which means that even if he didn't have all the experience that he did just because of his seniority, he definitely seen it because of the sheer number of stupid decisions frat brothers will find themselves making when they think they're going to either a) get drunk b) get high c) get their dick wet.
johnny knows it's all in good fun (fun that he's definitely not opposed to) but jaehyun's always been a little bit of an enigma when it came to all of it. he was good at the drinking and alright at the getting high and absolutely fan-fucking-tastic at the getting his dick wet.
it was the goddamn dimples. everyone always fell for the dimples.
and sure, while jaehyun had had crushes before (johnny could read his little like no other), they'd always been fueled by the hormonal rush of adrenaline and testosterone pumping through his veins. in fact, johnny's not sure that jaehyun had had a proper crush on anyone at college after getting fucked over in high school, where johnny had also gone to with jaehyun.
not that johnny had really known jaehyun. he was quieter and kept to himself more then. didn't really hang out in the same crowd as johnny.
he knows that's not necessarily true. johnny had, truthfully, just completely overlooked jaehyun. like a lot of girls had until jaehyun had finally started to grow into his features.
but johnny knows jaehyun now and he also knows that if jaehyun had never met gianna lee, jaehyun wouldn't have ever dove headfirst into the deep end of shitfuckery and sleeping around with every breathing body in sight.
cliché story of course. college boy becomes a fuckboy after having his heart broken by a girl in high school. johnny's almost 100% positive that sia's shoved at least two or three novels like those in johnny's face, with the same exact plot.
but what is life but a series of clichés after all. and honestly, did it even matter? it was real. it happened to jaehyun. that was all. end of story.
so johnny doesn't even say a word when he sees the post-it note in jaehyun's trash can. he's silent as he watches sia and jaehyun talk and jaehyun fall into a period of overthinking (and jaehyun knows he's overthinking too because johnny can see him shake his head even as he continues to stare at the 'people' tab of intro to east asia).
and johnny finally decides to break his silence when he sees jaehyun with a new post-it note, although this time it was a much more tame blue post-it, and a pensive look.
jaehyun slips it to johnny to read as they're sitting at the local starbucks, with johnny filling out some paperwork for the job he was signed on for as soon as the school year ended and jaehyun studying for the organic chemistry exam he had coming up the next week.
he doesn't say anything when he passes the note but johnny can see him sideye-ing him to catch his reaction and it's all he can do to keep from letting a little smile slip through.
he hands the piece of paper back, watching as jaehyun immediately stuffs it into his backpack, and for some reason, he's really not sure what to say. if sia were here, she would know exactly what to say, and how to say it. she had a way of saying things that were a little too straightforward to feel good but also obviously coming from a generally good place.
it was one of the reasons why johnny had thought it would be a good idea to make it official with her. sia yoo was nothing like what johnny had thought - and the thought simultaneously frightens him and comforts him.
"you plan on asking her out on a date?" johnny says lightly, sliding his laptop over to pretend to look at his phone casually. in actuality, he's typing furiously to sia (one of the few people that johnny trusted or consulted when it came to advice giving) about what was happening.
johnny is not very surprised when sia's gray bubble appears, disappears, and then appears again only to say, "yeah, i know."
he waits for a more elaborate response. or even a more sia-like response but the more that he talks to her, the more johnny is learning that sia is more unpredictable than she really seems to be.
and sia yoo seems to be completely out of the box.
johnny shakes his head, as if to physically get rid of the thoughts of her from his head, unsure why he was thinking of her when he was supposed to be helping out one of his boys.
"yeah. i think so? i don't know. i mean we had a good time and we definitely have chemistry. but we literally just had one night in bed and that's it." jaehyun furrows his eyebrows as he realizes that's not just it. "well, there is the fact that kun was walking around singing her praises. and i know that fatima wouldn't be friends with kun or y/n if she wasn't sure they're both good people. not to mention the fact that i've always thought she's kinda hot. but it's always been superficial. even us spending the night together was really nothing more than finding each other hot or trying to figure out if the talk around town was real or not."
johnny takes a sip of his americano as he lets jaehyun's words sink into his own mind. jaehyun rests his heads on his arms crossed in front of him and johnny knows exactly the set of thoughts that's running through jaehyun's mind because they were the same as johnny's when he had decided to ask sia out on a date.
is it worth it? is it worth possibly getting my heart strung up on someone again just to face the possibility of breaking it again?
so johnny offers the only advice that he really has.
"talk to roseanne. girls' fiercest protectors are their friends and something tells me that talking to her will make you fall on one side or the other."
+++
the next time that jaehyun sees roseanne is a complete coincidence. he really only meant to say hi to one of his homies, yugyeom, on the way out of the library and hadn't expected to run into roseanne or miyeon at all. especially not a singular day after johnny had suggested that he seek her out in the first place.
he watches as yugyeom thumbs the rip in miyeon's jeans as he continues to talk to jaehyun about something jeongguk had done the previous weekend. and then he sees miyeon press a kiss to roseanne's cheek as she gets up to fill up her water bottle.
jaehyun didn't think he would understand that dynamic at all but whatever floated their boat. who was he to judge? he had watched the barbie movie and was still having a crisis about his masculinity and was actively searching out his one night stand's (were you still just his one night stand?) roommate and best friend to fix it. to be fair, he didn't really fully understand the barbie movie, to the chagrin of doyoung's girlfriend nairobi but that was besides the point.
yeah. jaehyun was really in no position to speak. wow he had a lot of things to work on internally. the more he talked to the women in his life, the more he was realizing this. again. not the point.
roseanne takes one look at his face and then exchanges a look with miyeon and then yugyeom before standing up and walking towards the exit, looking at jaehyun questioningly when she realizes that jaehyun hasn't moved an inch. jaehyun hurriedly bids yugyeom and miyeon goodbye as he rushes after her.
the two of them linger outside of the library and roseanne just raises an eyebrow as she appraises jaehyun. and for some reason, jaehyun stands up straighter, and she just sighs, a small smile playing on her lips.
"let me guess. 'who makes people work for their number? what is this? sprinkle sprinkle type of stuff?' or maybe 'this is kinda cringey, isn't it?' or just a sweet and simple 'what the actual fuck?'" roseanne says nonchalantly, listing out each possible question jaehyun could have come to ask.
"would it make me a bad man if i said yes to all of the above?" jaehyun asks, shoving his hands into his pockets. roseanne shrugs, crossing her arms across her chest.
"not really. i don't think so at least. it's a fair set of questions that even i asked her the first time a guy came up to me asking who the fuck my roommate thought she was," roseanne says. she takes sees the look of confusion on jaehyun's face as she continues, "you're definitely not the first person to ask me that but you are of a selective few. y/n usually doesn't let people get this far in the first place. and secondly, she doesn't really tell us much about people she's interested in until much later."
"she's a strange person, if i'm being honest with you. there's just something about her that makes her so captivating and invisible at the same time. she'll capture the attention of everyone in the room but if you talk to her, she'll make you feel like her best friend. she seems like an open book, and an even more open friend. and you feel so close to her within a conversation and then you end the conversation, you realize that even as she spoke, she revealed nothing about herself."
"i'm her best friend and i could tell you very confidently that i didn't know a single thing about her truly until recently. it made me frustrated at first. like i was a shitty friend or something. but the closer to her i got, the more i realized that she's always been a great friend but no one's been a great friend to her. she's very selective with the people she associates with - not just people she lets herself be seen with but people she confides in."
"this whole thing is a defense mechanism. she'd be caught dead before she'd ever admit it but she just hasn't been loved in the way that she's loved and now she's more guarded for it. i'll tell you this jaehyun, but if you want to give up, do it now. she says she's just going to give you her number if you earn it but once you get all 10 digits, know that she's gonna give you her heart."
"it seems like i'm violating girl code by telling you all this but like i said, even if you were to ask y/n, she would say the same thing. not in so many words but still. like i said. she's an open book and a closed heart. she knows you're gonna ask me and so she only tells me something that she would be okay with you hearing."
jaehyun, who had been listening quietly and patiently the whole time, cuts in with a quiet voice. "isn't it exhausting to live like that?"
roseanne looks at him strangely, as though she was truly seeing him for the first time. jaehyun doesn't know if he's offended or relieved that she'd done what he'd done to sia - made assumptions based on his appearance. he lands on neutral. it's human nature, to try and make proper guesses about who's gonna act like what.
the ancient art of preventing heartbreak, jaehyun supposes.
"maybe. i don't think so though. it's gotta be a different level of relief knowing that no one's gonna talk shit about you because a) no one knows you well enough to do that or b) because you're so careful with who you trust that you know they'd never betray you or even c) they can only talk about what you put out into the world. it's why censorship is so effective. people can only talk about what they know. there's few people who will ignore what they see to find what they can't see tangibly."
"are all of y/n's friends secretly poets or something? why the hell are you guys all speaking cryptically like you're all freemasons or some shit like that. i can't tell if i find it cringey or cool," jaehyun says, cocking his head.
roseanne lets out a real, full bellied laugh at that, clutching her stomach as chuckles escape her. jaehyun's not sure what he's said that's so funny but he knows for a fact that she's not laughing with him, but at him.
"why is it cringey, jaehyun? why would it be cool? it's just what it is. we're just girls. you'll see us at the party next weekend, drinking our weight in alcohol. we'll have the conversations about makeup and dresses and having fun and our future and our past. there's nothing like freemasonry, i promise. it's just so amusing to see men get alarmed by the thoughts that girls have been wrestling with since they've been twelve. the duality of man, i guess," roseanne says finally, once she's caught her breath.
jaehyun doesn't know how to respond to that so he elects to save the remaining tatters of his dignity by just not responding at all. if there's one thing he's learned about you, it's that you surround yourself by women who are not hesitant about putting him in his place. and he's oddly thankful for it.
"i have one last question. well, two last questions, actually," jaehyun says when he sees roseanne turning around to head back inside, still wiping the tears from her eyes from laughing too hard.
roseanne turns, a knowing glint in her eyes even before jaehyun asks his question.
"how many guys have talked to you? and what's the highest number anyone's ever gotten to?"
roseanne is silent and just as the silence begins to turn awkward, she promptly turns on her heel and begins to walk away. she opens the door to the library before she seemingly changes her mind and looks back at jaehyun.
"two guys have talked to me. you're gonna have to ask fatima about the second question though. and jaehyun? the next number is 6."
96_-___-____.
+++
jaehyun finds fatima not soon after his conversation with roseanne. he's sitting in the nct house, watching johnny pace back and forth in his room, trying to figure out if what he was wearing was too casual for a date to a bowling alley.
it was way too formal, in jaehyun's opinion. but he was just going to wait for johnny to finish panicking (even if he would never admit that he was, in fact, panicking) to figure that out on his own. seriously though, who wore a button down and slacks to a bowling alley?
then again, he was going on a date with sia yoo so really, anything was fairplay when it came to that girl. she was a whirlwind of literally everything that could possibly go into a human being. she was a maximalist to the fullest, seizing every opportunity she could to make good memories, pressing forward with a sense of perfect clarity and sobriety that most people would be scared of.
the type of girl who was the main character of any story that she would feature in. sia was the type of person that people who trip and fall over themselves trying to have a good time with that she practically promised. she walked around with fairy dust in her fingers and a strange sense of wisdom that felt like she could read you like a book within a singular meeting with her.
jaehyun knows that she's the most intimidating out of all of the girls. out of you, roseanne, fatima, and sia, she was hands down the most frightening because even though she could read everyone else, no one could really read her.
then there was roseanne. she was the wet dream of every girl alive - the reason why straight girls lamented that they were straight and still falling a little bit in love with her. she was hot, flirtatious to the extent of making everyone wonder what they were when she gave them even a split second of attention, and so incredibly full of life. it doesn't surprise jaehyun that she had become exclusive with miyeon and yugyeom. for some reason, he feels like she just wouldn't have been able to settle for liking one person at once.
she was a little too much for just one person to be able to handle. she was like the human personification of a leather jacket wearing, motorcycle driving, woody cologne smelling wattpad trope. jaehyun understands her appeal all too well.
and then there was fatima. she was kind, sweet, kept to herself, and always offered a helping hand to those around her. jaehyun understood why kun had fallen so hard for her within two minutes of meeting her. she had an air about her that made you feel like she was someone who truly cared about you, even if you didn't know her and she didn't know you all that well. she was the type of girl who was always forgotten in the novels about warriors and princesses. the girl who was often reduced to nothing more than the main character's best friend.
until you met a girl like her in real life. fatima was still a little forgotten, and jaehyun knew that. guys often overlooked her in favor of her 'hotter' or 'wilder' friends, which is admittedly what jaehyun had thought at first. but she was just so genuine and clearheaded. she protected her peace in a way that was so unusual for young, college-going students. not to say that sia, roseanne, or you weren't genuine or anything like that. but fatima was the type of girl that jaehyun knew was perfect for kun. the girl that he could go home and know that no matter what he had done in his past, she would love him all the same.
and there was you. smart, strangely private, and a series of contradictions housed within one heart. jaehyun wracks his brain, trying to gather everything that he knew about you and yet, he comes up empty.
frustratingly empty.
jaehyun vaguely registers the fact that johnny has finally changed and is getting ready to go. he knows that he should say something about how johnny should just be himself and that sia liking him is completely up to her, regardless of what johnny were to do. but when he locks eyes with johnny, he realizes that johnny already knows.
so jaehyun just claps him on the back as he heads back to his room, his mind spinning as he tries to think of everything that he knows about you. and he draws a blank every fucking time.
he knows superficial things about you. maybe it's because he doesn't know you like he knows your friends. he hasn't talked to you as much as he's talked to them. but how does he not know you? he's been wanting to get with you for so long. he wanted more than just your body. he wanted your charm and your appeal.
was it just your body? is that all it was? is that all jaehyun wanted? somehow, jaehyun doesn't want to believe that. he doesn't want that for himself. logically, he knows that gianna's impact on his life shouldn't be extending this far. he knows that he shouldn't want or have to fight himself this hard but you're not making it much easier for him.
when was the last time jaehyun wanted to get to know such an enigma of a girl? gianna lee. and he wants nothing to do with a girl like that ever again.
and yet, here he is. falling into the same trap all over again.
jaehyun's so caught up in his own thoughts, feeling himself starting to spiral when he bumps in fatima and kun, who are equally caught up in a conversation with each other.
"oh, my bad," jaehyun mumbles, ready for fatima to brush past him but she doesn't, looking at jaehyun and then kun.
"hey man, we're headed back to my place. why don't you come back with us?" kun offers, and jaehyun just nods blankly, as he starts to follow them out of the nct house. kun stops at the entrance where he picks up a textbook from yuta, who had been borrowing it for the last week, before the three of them make their way out.
"how are you, jaehyun?" fatima asks with a sweet smile as they pile into kun's car. somehow, jaehyun doesn't want to give her a generic, insincere answer.
"i'm...okay. i'm just okay. confused but okay," jaehyun says and fatima seems alright with this answer. kun pulls out of the 'driveway' of the frat house, exchanging in a quiet conversation with fatima about what they were planning on eating for the night, leaving jaehyun to simmer in his thoughts.
gianna lee. there was a name that he thought about almost every day and never all at the same time. the girl who had made him and broke him. the girl that jaehyun had trusted with his heart and made him regret ever doing that.
the girl who had been the first love of his life.
+++
gianna was a year younger than him. smart, so incredibly sweet, and yet someone that no one could confidently say that they knew. she was the type of girl who could slip under the radar as easily as her friends seemed to always stay on top of.
she ran in the same circle as jaehyun had in senior year, right when jaehyun was beginning to blossom into the man that he was today. she had always been kind to him, if not a little withdrawn, even when he was a skinny boy with proportions that absolutely did not seem to match each other.
jaehyun didn't even know her well enough for her to break his heart, honestly. jaehyun had liked her even before having a proper conversation with her. he knew how left out she felt in her own body. even though he couldn't imagine a more gorgeous girl, he knew that she didn't feel that way about herself.
he knew that she always compared herself to her friends. her well-accomplished, 'main character' best friends who were the talk of the school. and her. no matter how intelligent or kind or put together she was, no one really looked at her the way that jaehyun did. she knew it.
even jaehyun couldn't place why he liked her so much. maybe it was the fact that he was somehow comforted that a girl with so much beauty could feel the same way as him. maybe it was the fact that she had always held the same smile for him, regardless of what he looked like. or maybe it was even the fact that one time, she had held his hand as she pulled him across the street, running to catch up with their friends who had already crossed.
jaehyun just remembers looking at her dyed cherry red hair falling into her eyes as she laughs, pulling him forward to where the rest of their friends were standing. and as he breathes in the smoke in the air and the raspberry scent of her perfume, he just knows that he really, truly likes gianna lee.
gianna lee doesn't like him the way that he likes her. he knows that. logically, jaehyun knows that his feelings are truly unfounded. he really has no reason to like gianna the way that he does. and yet, there's a part of him that holds onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, she'll turn around with those big eyes and upturned lips and say that she likes him the way that he likes her.
so he continues to look at her first when he makes the friend group laugh. he always slips her a napkin when he's getting one for himself when they're out getting milkshakes. he offers to help her with apush when she's stressing about a test the next week.
the closer he gets to her, the more jaehyun realizes that really, she was nothing like the image of her he had conjured in his head. she was every bit sweet as he had thought but she was argumentative, competitive, and all too obsessed with perfection. she always needed to be right in an argument, always had to win, and always had to make sure that she looked flawless doing so.
jaehyun doesn't realize it, of course. he's so obsessed with his glazed over façade of her that he just continues to let her win the arguments even when he knows that she's wrong. and she lets him wrap his arms around her when she gets an 89% on her test.
he lets her walk all over him and she lets him act on his feelings.
it was a toxic, parasitic relationship that neither of them were truly happy in. when gianna asked him out, jaehyun hadn't felt like fireworks were going off in his stomach. he felt like he had won a prize at a marathon. like he'd won a medal.
gianna wasn't a medal. she was a flawed, beautiful human being - every bit gorgeous and horrible as jaehyun and every other human being was. but jaehyun had won, hadn't he?
he hadn't. and it took so long for him to realize that by the time he'd realized that gianna had really only taken to him out of pity, he was so far in his own head that he didn't know how to leave her.
eventually, the summer before college rolled around and gianna had taken it upon herself to do the nasty deed of breaking up with him. it had been an amicable split, as far as their friends were concerned.
but none of them had ever truly either of their friends. so what did they know?
what did they know about gianna finding comfort in her ex's arms? what did they know about her grades slipping at the end of the school year? what did they know about her having to excuse herself at a meeting for her internship to sob in the bathroom as she realized the true fallacy in the way she had acted? what did they know about the way she had to reconstruct herself bottom up? nothing.
what did they know about jaehyun spending every other night with a different girl, trying to ease the ache in his heart? what did they know about the obscene number of hours at the gym, not sure how to combat the sudden numbness after girl after girl? what did they know about the fact that jaehyun could not physically stand the smell of raspberries anymore? absolutely nothing.
no one knew anything until jaehyun had finally come to college. it was once he joined the frat and met guys who were so alike and different from him at the same time that he finally opened up about gianna.
only to doyoung, kun, and johnny but people nonetheless. everyone had gone through something similar - while for some it happened at college or back home, they all knew the pain. some of them were more in the fault than others but pain is pain and a paper cut bleeds the same red as a gunshot wound.
which is why when kun sits him down on the couch and fatima hands him a cup of iced tea to save them all from the sweltering heat as august makes a last stand against september's winds, jaehyun spills everything.
gianna. his past. his insecurities. everything. he knows he shouldn't. logically, fatima had nothing stopping her from going and telling everything that jaehyun had told her to you, but for some reason, jaehyun thinks that she won't.
she doesn't.
+++
fatima knows that jaehyun was going to talk to her about something like this. it seemed that all of the nct boys came with some level of trauma like this. she wasn't sure what it was about every single boy she had met in college (although, granted, they were either her friends' conquests or kun's friends - a very interesting group of very intertwined boys) having their hearts getting ripped to shreds. sometimes it was of their own volition but they all seemed to be some level of hurt either way.
so when jaehyun spills his heart out on kun's carpeted floors, she's ready with a well-rehearsed speech. he's one of six boys she'd already had this same exact conversation with (kun has a bad habit of picking up strays) but when he looks at her with such raw anguish in his eyes, she falters.
she looks to kun, who's looking at her with the same question that she knows jaehyun is asking.
"how do you know when to choose between your head and your heart? because my heart is so fucking scared of getting attached to someone again. but my head knows that i can't push everyone away because i'm scared."
fatima is quiet, searching for the right words. she's about to say something when kun speaks up, looking determinedly at fatima.
"you learn to choose you. instead of choosing between your head and your heart, just choose yourself. at the end of the day, you and y/n are good people who aren't trying to hurt each other. you're both trying not to get hurt. and honestly, maybe you'll realize that you both are better off as friends along the way. maybe you just realize that you don't want to be with someone right now. or maybe you find someone who makes you feel like you're safe and loved when you're around them, whether you're in love with them or not." fatima looks at kun with a soft smile, reaching out to hold his hand gently.
"you have to choose yourself, jaehyun. trust me. the more you start thinking about what is best for the people around you instead of thinking for yourself, you'll look back fifteen, twenty years down the road and see everyone but yourself in your life. don't do something because gianna and how she made you feel. don't let your past define your future," fatima says, and jaehyun can feel the tears prick his eyes. he blinks determinedly, trying to make them disappear but when kun sits on one side of him and fatima on the other, he starts losing his battle against his emotions, finally letting himself mourn the innocence he had once had.
he buries his head into fatima's shoulder and for some reason, he feels as though kun and fatima would be amazing parents. because jaehyun doesn't remember the last time that he had felt this safe in an embrace.
"and jaehyun? the furthest anyone has ever gotten is five numbers. you're at three. it's your call from here. do what you want, not what you think you need to do." fatima taps his shoulder gently and lets him cry for as long as he needs to.
963-___-____.
+++
jaehyun gets the next number from you. after his conversation with fatima, he's sure that if he wants to go any further than this, he needed to talk to you first.
it's strange. he's earning your number but it feels like jaehyun's somehow earning himself back. and when he finds you again, he knows that you can tell.
even johnny could tell. when he had come back from his (successful) date with sia, the first thing he had said was, "wow. you look so...light."
jaehyun hadn't said anything but 'thank you' but it was enough.
johnny had just smiled at him and recounted the date, stating that he was going to ask her to go on another date this saturday night. jaehyun doesn't mention the fact that nct is throwing that night because johnny already knows.
and honestly, sia is a junior and johnny is a senior. they've been to their fair share of parties. one party being missed wouldn't be life changing for them. but skipping a party as the vice president of a frat and a girl who was sought after as a sweetheart for six frats meant something nonetheless.
he hadn't expected that they were to get that serious that quickly but it was a refreshing change. even fatima and kun were starting about talking about talking to fatima's parents to get their blessing for their relationship. her dilemma was no secret and it seemed that the conversation between the three of them had served to help them through their own issues as well.
there was just something in the air, jaehyun had supposed. august turned to september in the week that jaehyun had wrestled with himself, eventually leading to seeking you out.
it had been at the nct party, actually. you were standing with some of your acquaintances, all of your friends having dispersed to do what they were going to do. jaehyun had been on the other side of the room, convincing bambam that it was most definitely not a good idea to try and pursue soyeon jeon if he wanted to make sure that he woke up with all his limbs intact the next morning.
you had met his eye, raising an eyebrow before continuing your conversation, all thoughts of him seemingly out of your mind. jaehyun looks between bambam (who has gone from trying to get with soyeon to jumping into the pool) (that pool had not been cleaned in a full six months) and you. he just finds jungwoo, one of the pledges, and hands him a very drunk bambam.
"do not let him do anything dumb. i'm counting on you pledge," jaehyun called out over his shoulder as he weaves through people to get to you.
"jaehyun! hey! long time no see," hailey whitfield says, throwing herself in jaehyun's arms. jaehyun looks at you, where you're staring straight at where hailey's body ends and his arms begin. jaehyun tries to push her off of him. once upon a time, jaehyun would've been behind happy about getting with her again - she was so good with her mouth. but now, he has no intentions of giving you the wrong impression.
at least until he has a proper conversation with you so that you knew where he stood with you. and where you stood with him.
"hey hailey, sorry i've gotta get to my friend," he says, not even looking at her as he pushes off of her, resuming his threading through the crowd to where you're standing. you look at him, unimpressed, but jaehyun knows you well enough to know that three numbers are enough to make you feel a certain way if jaehyun was fooling around with other girls.
which he hasn't been. not a single night. jaehyun jung's bed has been empty for an entire two weeks, something that doyoung and nairobi have been taking full advantage of.
even some of jaehyun's friends had started asking if he was having problems or something but he had brushed them off. he definitely wasn't having problems, if hailey whitfield was any indication. but he felt like it would be doing you dirty if he had someone in his bed while he was talking to your friends about you.
so he hadn't.
he knows you know. he knows that you know he's talked to sia, roseanne, and fatima. he'd figured that you'd find out either through them or just by him. he can tell by the look in your eyes that you've read him thoroughly.
so he really doesn't feel bad about pulling you away from your friends, taking you upstairs to his room. finally, doyoung had promised that they would go back to nairobi's place on the condition that jaehyun made sure that no one would try to fuck on his bed. he promised, knowing that the only person who'd be coming up here would be him. he needed to talk to you tonight. if he knew anything it was that.
but once you're sitting on his bed, watching him pace back and forward, he's lost everything he's been wanting to say. where does he even start? with gianna? with the questions he has for you? with the number? where does he begin?
jaehyun looks at you, where you're watching him with a small smile on your face and suddenly, it doesn't matter where he begins. you'll listen to it all. he knows that much.
"why do you want me to work for your number?" jaehyun asks. you look at him curiously, tilting your head as you piece together an answer.
"are you sure you don't know the answer to that question?" you say, folding your legs so that you're sitting criss cross on the navy covers.
"i do. but i want to hear it from you, y/n. you know what all your friends say about you? that they didn't properly know you until a full year of friendship with you. but they said that you never lie. so i want you to tell me," jaehyun says, chest heaving by the end of his ramble. his eyes turn soft as he watches you become more and more solemn and he steps forward, sitting down on his desk chair and swiveling it over so that he was sitting directly across from you.
you pause for a moment, searching for the words before saying anything. "i've never been in a relationship before. so i don't have the trauma that could come from something like that. but i know what it's like to lose your heart to someone. and i know that it hurts. i want to be loved in the way that i never thought i could be. so the number thing is just an excuse for me to get to the point where i won't feel guilty about liking someone."
you shrug, smiling but not allowing the smile to reach your eyes. "it's a good way to make sure that the guy knows what he's getting into either way."
jaehyun nods at that. he knew that much. it feels different hearing it from you though. when you're the one saying it, jaehyun knows that it's real. raw. not coming from people trying to protect you because they know that you're far too soft to truly come at him guns blazing.
somehow, he likes it. he likes that you're much softer than you seem. that you're a lot more vulnerable than you come off as. and for some reason, jaehyun hopes that you never perfect the art of becoming standoffish.
"hmm. you've never been in a relationship before?" jaehyun says finally and you nod, shrugging once more. a shadow of bittersweet nostalgia crosses your face before you're back to your soft smile and guarded yet curious eyes.
"nope. part of it was on me; i've got high standards, if you can't tell. and the other part was that i've always wanted someone who fascinates me. of course, i wasn't all that appealing to men because i spent so much time trying to beat them at the only thing they were good at - ego-boosting themselves but they weren't interesting. none of them were people i really wanted to get to know," you say, unfolding your legs.
jaehyun likes the fact that the tips of your toes are the only part of your feet that touch the ground from how far back you're sitting on the bed. in an act of boldness, jaehyun moves forward to sit next to you, right where you're sitting. his feet are flat on the floor, he realizes.
he doesn't know why he's noticing things like this but he is and something about that frustrates him, frightens him, and tugs at his heartstrings altogether.
"you're heartbroken, aren't you? boys like you always seem to be a little hurt," you say, tossing the words into the air like rose petals. they're recklessly thrown but they're somehow beautiful in the way that blackened roses are always beautiful.
"yeah. i was. i think i will always mourn who i was before that. i was so naïve. but i'm not him anymore. and i think i'm realizing that i'm actually okay with that." jaehyun says the words just as carelessly as you do but once they're out in the open, he realizes that he's being completely honest. he turns to you with a strange look though.
"boys like me?"
you smile and nod at him. "boys like you."
you stand up, walking to where jaehyun has a corkboard with a shitload of scraps and photos from the past two years. you don't mention the fact that none of the memories that he has on the board date from before senior year. you don't need to.
"boys like you who've never been loved completely. boys who think that they need to listen to what the world says about how they should be acting or thinking. boys who are hopeless romantics but what would the world say if they knew that these boys just wanted a little bit of love? what would they say if they were looking for warmth in an empty and cold bed?"
jaehyun hates that you're right. it's the college boy tragedy. condemned to never be able to completely heal from one bad experience and then always breaking hearts to collect enough pieces to build themselves a new one.
he didn't want to end like that. even if it wasn't with you, he was ready to grow past it. he didn't want to end as a heartbreaker.
"boys like me...and you like a boy like me?" jaehyun asks. he doesn't know why he does. this is the first proper conversation you've had with him when both of you are decidedly sober. you want to deflect the question but if he's being honest, that's a sign for you to be just as honest.
"i don't know. from what my friends say, and what i know about you as a person in class, i know you mean well. and honestly, i've always just been the type of person to like someone past things like the books they read or the way they dress," you say, still looking at the memories jaehyun's pieced together over the years on this board. "i feel something around you. and i don't know you well enough to know that i like you as someone more than a friend but i'd like to at least have the chance to get that far."
that's all jaehyun needs. he gets another number that night.
+++
jaehyun waits for you outside of intro to east asia, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as he waits for you to make it out of the classroom. you're the last one to leave, knowing that technically, you and jaehyun weren't allowed to see each other while he was your ta.
jaehyun had never really pegged you as someone with so much respect for the rules but you had argued that it was mostly about the principle.
he'd learned a lot about you that last weekend. you and him had stayed up all night, talking about nothing and everything under the sun until the sun itself rose, eventually falling asleep in a tangled mess of limbs and conversations.
he learned that while you didn't like the rules, you often followed them as long as they followed your own moral code. that you would die for your friends and that had landed you in many bad friendships when people would use that to their advantage before you'd met your friends in college. he learned that you were super close with your family, and that they were quite literally the best friends that you could always rely on.
and he learned that you wanted to see him again. on a date. sometime soon. so with no real way of communicating with you outside of social media (and he somehow felt like sliding into your dm's was corny and somewhat of a copout), here he was. waiting outside of the classroom like he was ripped straight from a 1950's romance movie. he even had the letterman jacket on to boot.
"oh my god, you scared me," you say, pressing a hand to your chest as you quite nearly bump into jaehyun. he smiles, readjusting his backpack on his shoulders as the two of you start walking.
"you knew i was waiting for you outside, didn't you?" he says, pushing the side door open to walk towards the parking lot, where he's convinced kun to let him borrow his car for the day.
"yeah but i didn't think you would be literally outside the door," you murmur, checking your phone to see the rest of your day's schedule. you had purposefully blocked off three hours of your schedule to hang out with jaehyun, which you were sure to regret later on when your organic chemistry class kicked your ass. but that was a later issue.
"well, i couldn't text you where i was so i figured i'd wait in plain sight," jaehyun retorts, opening the passenger door for you without a word. huh. that was the first time a man has ever done that for you. and jaehyun did it as though it were second nature - like it was a given.
you don't know why something so small means so much to you but you're alright with it. you're alright with just appreciating it.
"that's fair," you say. another number's on the tip of your tongue as you watch him get into the driver's seat but jaehyun beats you to the punch.
"don't give me a number. not yet," jaehyun says. "not that i don't want one. but i just...me waiting outside your classroom or opening your door isn't enough for a number. even if i don't get all ten, you've got to up your standards."
you don't know what to say to that so you don't say anything, turning on the music and letting the melody of chemtrails under the country club by lana del ray fill the rainy september afternoon sky.
+++
when jaehyun pulls up to a run down diner, you're pleasantly surprised. although you're not much of a sucker for romantic places, the fact that jaehyun is somehow makes you happy. it makes you happy that he still sees the beauty in places like these. and when you look over at him, dimples threatening to show as he breathes in the air of misty fog and the smell of milkshakes and burgers, you're so tempted to kiss him.
so you lean over, looking at him with a twinkle in your eyes once jaehyun has parked.
"can i kiss you?" you ask, mere inches from his lips. jaehyun just looks at you, and from this close, you realize just how beautiful his eyes are. they're dark, darker than anyone else's that you know. and yet, it feels like you could fall in and never regret it.
"please."
it's all you need. and it's all he needs because as soon as word slips from his lips, he's pressing forward, his lips against yours. he's soft, you register vaguely. nothing like last time. nothing like how he'd kissed you like he could think of nothing but absolutely ruining you.
jaehyun is soft. like the feeling of slipping a cold hand into someone's warm jacket pocket. he kisses you like he's scared of ruining you. ruining this. and you're absolutely addicted to the feeling.
the feeling of knowing that he could just claim you instead of trying his best to claim your heart. no matter how fucked up it was that you were even thinking that someone could 'claim' you. he wasn't like that and you could work with that.
he pulls away from you, eyes still closed as he sits against the drivers seat, his head against the headrest. you watch him, a silly and childish smile on your face - although you're not really sure why it's there in the first place. but who are you to knock anything?
there aren't many words to exchange as the two of you make your way into the diner. jaehyun had opened your car door again. this time, you just offer him your hand and you're strangely alright with just how safe you feel with his hand locked in yours.
the diner seems as though time has frozen still here.
and everything about the date seems the same. it feels as though time has frozen still - almost as though the two of you are in a little bubble with no one but each other. it's a feeling you haven't experienced in a while. a feeling you don't think you've ever had because of a boy.
it feels...almost scarily comfortable. it doesn't feel as though there are fireworks exploding for every word that jaehyun says. but it does feel as though that there's a hot mug of cocoa that's been handed to you on a cold winter night. and that feeling, the feeling of warmth spreading through every corner of your body, is the feeling that you know is good for you.
so you listen to him, watch him speak animatedly about basketball or a book he read, chin resting in your palm as you find yourself falling deeper and deeper.
jaehyun gets two numbers that day.
+++
it doesn't take much longer for jaehyun to get the rest of the numbers. soon enough, you're more than happy just to spend time with him the way that you spend time with your friends. you feel as though you've made a good friend out of someone you'd thought that you wouldn't even be able to get along with.
"you know, when i first met you, even before i knew you, i really didn't like you," you say, taking a sip out of your latte. the seasons have changed, fall giving way to winter. the november air bites your skin every time someone opens the door to the tiny café the two of you were sitting in.
jaehyun smiles, nodding as he leans back in his chair. "i know. i could tell by the look in your eyes."
"the look in my eyes?"
"yeah. the one that said that you wanted to get to know me. to figure out my deal even if you didn't necessarily want to find out for sure. kind of like you wanted to be the one that said 'aha!' at the end of a movie, even though you weren't sure of the ending at all."
you look at jaehyun for a moment before laughing, shaking your head as you laugh. "you're even starting to talk like me now."
jaehyun pauses before he nods, smiling with you. "yeah, i know. you've rubbed off on me in a lot of ways."
"i've improved your music taste, that's for sure," you snort, taking another sip out of your latte. "i still can't believe you didn't like ric flair drip when we met."
"it's not that i didn't like it and it's still not that i like it now. but i guess i just have a good memory associated with it now so it's growing on me," jaehyun says. your eyebrows furrow as you try to recollect what good memory he could possibly be referring to.
"oh my god. the night that we met! i was trying to get in your pants with ric flair drip," you say incredulously, shivering when someone opens and closes the door once more. jaehyun hands you his hoodie, leaving his arm extended silently when you protest.
you don't know why you still bother trying to protest with him when you knew you were going to lose. you put the sweater on as jaehyun starts talking, letting the scent of clean water and pine trees swaddle you softly.
"honestly, i think i was more than you that night," jaehyun says, as he looks at you with an incriminating twinkle in his eyes. "that was around the time that even taeyong said that he wanted to see if kun's vivid descriptions were true or not. and i wasn't about to let him get the opportunity to get to you before i did. i don't know why. i felt almost protective over you. but not in a good way. in the type of way where i wanted to show you how good i could make you feel - more than anyone could even begin to think of making you feel."
the previously cold café begins to become a lot hotter than you were feeling before, clearing your throat as you try to let the moment pass.
"how did we even get here?" you say, fanning yourself delicately. the move only serves to work against you when you fan yourself so that the scent of his cologne on his hoodie only gets stronger in your mind.
jaehyun leans back, letting you switch the conversation. he'd bring it up to you later in the night, anyway. besides, for someone who puts on such a strong front, it's honestly a little fun to see you squirm at the slightest implications from jaehyun.
"but, uh, jaehyun. i've been meaning to ask you something for a while," you begin, fidgeting with the wrapper of the straw in front of you. jaehyun tilts his head as if to question what you have to say as he waits patiently.
"what are we?"
now jaehyun is truly confused. was the past month of going on dates not clear enough? jaehyun wasn't going on dates with anyone else. oh my god. were you going on dates with other men? is that why you're asking.
"i thought we were dating?" jaehyun says, phrasing his sentence more like a question than a statement. "i mean i'm not talking to anyone else and i kinda assumed that since i'd gotten all ten numbers, neither were you."
you hum, unable to stop the silly smile on your face.
"good. that's just what i was thinking too."
+++
honestly, everything about jaehyun jung is appealing to you. from the way that he engulfs you in a hug when you're up late studying. or the way that he convinces you that you have a virus on your laptop just so that he could spend more time with you 'fixing' your laptop for you. or the way that he sits with you and your friends, patiently listening and offering advice wherever he can (or honestly, is just allowed to speak).
you're so glad to see him like this. as your boyfriend of four and a half months (you hadn't let him make it official until he was no longer your ta), you've seen him grow in ways that you'd never thought. jaehyun was every inch the stupid, naïve fuckboy you'd thought him to be in the beginning. and he was also every inch the hopeless romantic with a little too much love to give for a scarred heart.
so you heal together. you help each other when you quite literally can't handle the pain and together, you grow. he's more confident. not just in the way that he looks - but the way that he speaks around people. the way that he educates himself. the way that he communicates how he feels.
and he helps you everyday. he shows you what it feels like to be loved the way you love others. he shows you that you are worth the princess treatment. and most importantly for you, he loves the people around you the way you love the people around you.
kun and fatima find their happy ending. fatima had spoken to her parents and while they took some time to warm up to kun, his soft demeanor and the way that he loved fatima so completely and sincerely eventually won them over. fatima even met kun's parents with equal success, although kun's mother kept asking when fatima and kun would get married.
(their wedding was already in the works by both fatima's mother and kun's mother. you were beyond elated to go to both the traditional muslim ceremony and the traditional chinese ceremonies.)
johnny and sia ended up going out on a couple more dates before realizing that they probably just weren't meant to be a couple. they loved each other as friends and were probably always going to hold a special place in each other's lives but it just wouldn't be as each other's significant others. johnny was already starting to retreat from the frat boy lifestyle after meeting a girl at the library one day. and sia had finally met someone who could handle her crazy personality with a sweet smile, bringing her back down to reality whenever she went a little...too lively. you're looking forward to meeting him over summer, where the four of you and your friends were going on a vacation together.
roseanne, yugyeom, and miyeon still haven't put a label on their relationship. but you've caught roseanne falling asleep in yugyeom's arms more than once (one too many times than rosie cares to admit) so you figure that it's a good thing that they've all found each other. as unconventional as their relationship might be, they all mesh together so well that you can't even find it in yourself to question it. all's fair in love and war.
jaehyun and you frequent the diner as a favorite date night spot to visit, although you're upset to hear that they're remodeling the entire establishment for favor of a new, more 'modern' atmosphere. although how modern a diner could get was a little bit of a strange notion. but as people change, so do the winds.
and when you walk into the diner the next semester, hand in hand with jaehyun, you're a little comforted to see that diner is now a speakeasy (in true 1970s fashion) with three words written in blinding rhinestones against the velvet background. of course.
ric flair drip.
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jkbabiey · 1 month
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ᴍɪɴᴇ • ᴊ. ᴊᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴ
𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: ~4.6𝘒 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘧𝘸𝘣2𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴, 𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘹, 𝘱𝘪𝘷, 𝘖𝘊 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦 '𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭'
it didn't surprise you when jaehyun's name popped up on your screen.
you two weren't speaking. hadn't spoken at all in the last three weeks due to a less-than-kind exchange of words at the last frat party you had gone to.
that frat party happened in the frat house in which jaehyun lived. you were no stranger to these parties. were no stranger to the smoke, the music, and the lights. you attended most of these parties, your goal being only one - to see him.
and you always did. his eyes always caught yours the minute you stepped inside his house. even among everyone else's gaze, his was always the first one that you noticed.
you and jaehyun had met at uni. you still remember the repetitive sound of his fingers tapping the table next to yours, while you tried to focus on the physiology paper you had to turn in until the next day. jaehyun was incredibly annoying, not stopping even when you politely asked him to, which resulted in you picking up your stuff and leaving the library and jaehyun with a victorious smile on his face. just to find him at the frat party your friend had dragged you to, sporting that same smile.
just to end up in his room. naked and screaming his name.
you always ended up in jaehyun's room. since then frat parties had become a constant in your life - you never stayed in them for too long because jaehyun always managed to drag you away quick enough.
the deal between you two was fairly simple - you slept together. nothing more and nothing less.
there really wasn't anything more to it other than sex. and you never expected more, seeing as the first thing you learned about jaehyun was how unruly he was - the complete opposite of you, the straight-A princess (as he liked to call you).
but you two were used to each other at this point - no one seemed to satisfy jaehyun the way you knew how to and because of that he liked to keep you around.
no one did it for you the way jaehyun could. not only when it came to sex, but in everything else too. you genuinely had a good time whenever you were with him, despite him taking every chance to get on your nerves. you two just got along.
but still, three weeks ago, at one of the frat parties you used to attend, you ended up in mark's room.
you would've never chosen mark over jaehyun. especially because the sole reason you were coming to these parties was to see jaehyun.
but not to see jaehyun's mouth working against a random blonde girl you had never even seen before. they were sitting on a couch, smoke all around them and she was straddling his hips, sitting on his lap. jaehyun's arms were rolled around the girl's waist, pulling her closer. meanwhile, you stood with your back pressed against the wall on the opposite side of the room, head tilted back while mark, who stood by your side, talked your ear off about this awesome new shot mixture he had made up with johnny, trying to talk you into trying it out.
it didn't take long to say yes to that shot (and to the countless shots mark and johnny offered after the first one) after that sight.
after that, you went dancing with mark behind you, absolutely inebriated, and no longer than five minutes after you started making out in the middle of the living room. it didn't shock you a whole lot when you woke up the morning after in a room you weren't familiar with, soft snores coming from beside you that didn't really sound like jaehyun's.
you were light on your feet as you picked up your tight black dress from the floor, squeezing yourself into it, grabbed your heels and walked barefoot out of mark's room, closing the door behind you softly, successfully not waking him up. your way down the stairs was a challenge as the wood squeaked with every step you took. you reached the end of the stairs, thinking you had succeded as no one seemed to have woken up, letting out a soft sigh and running a hand through your messy curls.
"had fun last night?" you heard from the kitchen, just a few steps away. you couldn't see who was inside the kitchen but you could recognize his voice anywhere. you took light steps towards the kitchen door, stopping when jaehyun came to view. you leaned to the side, resting your left hip on the wooden doorframe.
jaehyun looked like he had just stumbled out of bed. he was in the kitchen with a mug full of coffee in his hand, wearing an oversized black t-shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. his hair was messy, and his glasses were on. "yeah," you answered, your voice still heavy with sleep.
"was he any good?" jaehyun asked, and your brows immediately furrowed at his question. he chuckled at your reaction and pressured you, raising his brows in question. his voice had a playful light-hearted tone, but you knew him well enough to sense the hint of aggressiveness underlying it. "was he?"
"yes, he was good," you said and watched jaehyun's head tilt slightly in indifference. "better than you,” you added at that, loud and clear, letting your tongue quickly wet your lips in excitement.
jaehyun had always been the cool, calm, and collected guy who was never bothered by anything. and it stressed you out.
how could you be so indifferent to him?
but one thing jaehyun was, was competitive. both you and jaehyun knew that. jaehyun had a competitive side to him that few people dared to cross. but you... you did it all the time. because it was the only way to get a reaction out of him.
he raised his eyebrows in surprise and let out a giggle - you amused him.
“oh yeah?”
“yeah.”
“well… it doesn’t really take a lot to satisfy you, so i won’t really trust your judgment,” he said, placing his cup of coffee on the marble countertop. he walked to the fridge taking out a box of washed strawberries. he extended the box towards you as if asking if you wanted some, and you let out an ironic chuckle at that.
“and even tho it doesn’t take a lot to satisfy me you’re still at the bottom of the list,” you fought back and jaehyun smiled your way, resting his forearms on the countertop, taking a red strawberry to his lips and biting into it.
“hum,” he hummed as he chewed, wet lips and eyes still fixed on yours, absolutely unbothered, as if your comments didn't faze him in the slightest. “it’s long, that list of yours, isn’t it?”
your breath was quick and heavy in anger, your hands fisted and your jaw clenched. jaehyun knew how to get to you. he knew how to hit you where it stung and he never, ever, hesitated in doing it. never afraid of hurting you.
“i’m leaving,” you muttered, immediately turning your back to him and walking to the door.
“not saying bye to mark?” you heard him ask in a slightly louder voice, followed by a mocking chuckle.
“fucking asshole,” you said back, hoping he’d still hear you, which he did given by the amused laugh he let out after your comment.
three weeks had passed and now here you stood, in the middle of your skincare routine with jaehyun’s name plastered on your screen as he called you at 11:30PM. you didn’t even bother picking up, knowing he’d find another way to contact you.
jaehyun: stop ignoring me
jaehyun: saw your ig
by that, he meant the instagram story you had posted, which was not that special - just you, lying down on your silky pillow, makeup and hair done.
jaehyun: cmon pick up babe
by the time he called you for a second time you had a random vinyl playing, your favorite pink little pajama set thrown on, your curls down, your skin glowing, and your lips glossed. jaehyun was coming over.
you picked up. “can i come over?” was the first thing he said.
“why would i let you come over?”
“we both know you miss me,” he said immediately to which you let out a snort. “you don't? be honest y/n” he asked and you could already hear the teasing smile in his voice.
“are you sure it’s not the other way around?”
“as in me missing you?”
you hummed and he stayed quiet for a while “nope, you just looked cute in your story.”
“yeah right. you can go find some other cute girl then,” you said.
"no one's as cute as you-" and you hung up on him.
ten minutes later your doorbell rang and you knew it was him. you opened the door, greeting jaehyun with an annoyed expression. “i told you not to come over.”
“you still mad at me?” he asked, as his eyes ran over your figure. bare legs and perky nipples on display for him - small and delicate, just the way he likes you.
“was never mad. i don’t get mad at you jaehyun, you’re not that important,” you deadpanned, left brow raised.
“yeah, right,” he hummed and took a few steps forward, coming closer to you and closing the door behind him. he didn’t say a word, just staring down at you as you crossed your arms in front of your chest defensively, while starring back at him.
jaehyund sighed when a minute passed, and you did not look away. a teasing smirk grew on his lips, as he buried his hands in the pockets of his grey sweatpants. “why did you sleep with mark when I was right there?” he said, phrasing the question as if he had been waiting for you to answer it for the past three weeks - almost tiredly, letting out a short breath at the end of it.
“he was also right there,” you shrugged, settled on not telling him that what had really worked you up that night had been his interest in that other girl.
he rolled his eyes in annoyance, and you almost squealed at the sight of jaehyun losing his temper. “c’mon y/n, don’t make me lose my patience with you.”
“maybe that’s what I want,” you teased, raising your head, nearing your face to his to look into his eyes, almost daring him to do something. “you get so fucking boring after a few weeks, jaehyun.” you whispered against jaehyun’s mouth, watching as his tongue poked the inside of his cheek in annoyance. “that whole calm and collected thing you have going on,” you gestured with your hands before placing your pointing finger against the center of his chest. “it gets fucking tedious. that’s why I slept with mark. at least I can see some actual desire in his face.”
jaehyun’s anger was almost pouring out of his eyes. you could see that if he could just pick you up and throw you out the window, he absolutely would. instead, he grabbed your jaw in a tight grip, pulling your face even closer to his. “you don't think I desire you, that’s it?” he asked, an almost sadistic grin growing on his face.
when you slowly nodded your head against his grip, his hands moved to tightly grab both your shoulders, throwing your body against the wall across from him. “gonna show you just how much I want you, then."
and then, his lips were on yours, relentlessly working against them. his tongue parted your lips, invading your mouth as you moaned against him. his hand tightly gripped your ass, signaling for you to jump to his lap, which you did. your legs immediately wrapping around jaehyun's waist, with his hand still squeezing your ass. he pressed your body against the wall, rutting his hips against your clothed core, his mouth still fast and almost aggressive against yours.
you couldn’t keep up. you could never keep up with jaehyun.
“what was it about him that you liked so much, hum?” he asked, heavy breath and ironic tone of voice, while still humping his hips against yours in quick motions, almost desperately. “did he cry? he looks like he’d cry.”
“he could cry and still be better than you,” you moaned and jaehyun laughed at how your body’s reactions to him were so opposite to what your mouth was saying. “feels like I’m fucking a corpse with you,” he let out a burst of genuine laughter at that, and you couldn’t help the affectionate smile that grew on your lips at the sound.
“that’s taking it a bit too far isn’t it, princess?” he asked, and you looked down at him.
“is it tho?” he rolled his eyes, moving one of his arms to your waist to carry you to your bedroom. he had been in your flat so many times that he knew where everything was - even his spot on your bed was already defined (he slept closer to the door).
jaehyun laid your body down under his and stopped to awe at your figure, your face all flushed, long curls perfectly laid out on your mattress. lotioned skin shining under the yellow light of your bedroom, body pliable to his touch when he moved a hand to your knees to spread your legs further. he could feel his heartbeat quicken every time he looked at you.
“you’re so annoying,” he muttered, under his breath, his hands moving to take your tight pink tank top off your body, over your head, your tits coming right into his vision. “god, can’t believe you let mark touch these,” he breathed out, more to himself than to you, as he reached down, pressing his nose against your skin. "always smell so good, baby," he whispered when you rolled your arms around his neck. he moved down to mouth one of your tits, his tongue rolling around your hard nipple, his fingers massaging the other one.
“jaehyun,” you cried and thrust your hips up against his abdomen, as your hands ran through his back, gripping his sweatshirt, signaling him to take it off.
he pulled away from you to take it off and you almost moaned at the sight of his bare torso. he let you run your hands through his skin, your nails scraping against his nipples, to which he hissed and then surged forward to latch his lips to yours again in a messy kiss.
his kisses ran a hot wet path from your neck to the valley between your tits, across your abdomen and then reaching your tight pink pajama shorts. the cotton material was so thin and tight that he could see you weren’t wearing panties underneath it. he let out a loud moan at that, resting his forehead against your pelvis, closing his eyes in restraint trying not to rip the material off your body and fuck you senselessly. he opted to stick out his tongue and lick the whole expanse of your pussy through the pink material.
“oh god,” you gasped, your hands immediately finding purchase in his hair. “d-don’t stop,” you cried as jaehyun messily licked against your already-soaked shorts.
it didn’t take him long to grow tired of the last piece of clothing in your body and get rid of it, throwing it somewhere in your room. he leaned back, to appreciate the sight of your body, completely naked, laid out, and waiting for his touch. you were glowing. “so perfect,” he whispered, and you almost came at that. you extended your leg to his hip, trying to pull him closer again. and jaehyun got back to his previous position with his head between your legs, pressing a quick kiss to your exposed clit, making you breathily curse out his name.
as soon as jaehyun's tongue made contact with your pussy your legs shook against his head. you let out a drawn-out moan and his hands grabbed tightly at your thighs keeping them spread open. you were reduced to a series of gasps and cries of jaehyun’s name as he hummed sounds of pleasure, and repeatedly fucked you open with his tongue, going in and out of your hole, to then run up your pussy and circle your clit in quick motions. “jae, i’m gonna c-“
“you can come, baby, come for me,” he muttered against your pussy, feeling the muscles of your pussy clenching and unclenching repeatedly, his hips already rutting against your bed in search of relief at the sight of your body withering before him. the vibrations of his voice against your pussy were enough to send you over the edge. you threw your head back, your legs shacking against jaehyun’s head, making him let out repeated whimpers. his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as his tongue lapped at your pussy, relentlessly working against your clit. your fingers pulled at his hair, and you cried out loud moans.
if it wasn't for your feet on his shoulder pulling him away, you’re not sure he would ever have stopped the motions of his tongue against you. when he did pull away, with the bottom half of his face covered in your juices, you smiled at him, hazy with lust, and he let out an amused chuckle at your fucked out expression. “mark could never eat you out like that,” he whispered against your lips, his face hovering over yours when his hips settled between your open legs.
he reached down, aligning his tip with your pussy, and immediately thrusted forward, not giving you any time to process the high you had only came down from.
“ah- jaehyun, what the fuck,” you cursed at the sharp pain of his thick girth filling you up in the way that only jaehyun knew how to. you had never felt anyone as big as jaehyun, someone who fit inside you like jaehyun did, satisfying all your needs. "fucking asshole," you hissed.
“stop whining like a fucking bitch and take what I give you,” he groaned through his teeth. “so fucking tight baby,” he said, moving in and out of you in quick motions, causing loud desperate cries to leave your mouth. “hasn’t he been fucking you loose, hum?” he asked as his pace got exponentially faster. “you need to learn that this is my pussy, you hear me?” he growled against your ear when you turned your face away from him, eyes scrunched and furrowed eyebrows. “you’re mine, only I can touch you like this,” he continued, and you let out a loud cry of his name. “say it, say it baby,” he growled again.
"jae, slow down- oh my god-" you gasped when he decided to do the exact opposite, his thrust getting harder.
when you didn’t say what he wanted you to, his hand reached your neck, applying enough pressure on it to cut your breathing short. “fucking say it,” he said and you moaned at the feeling of his hand on your neck. he laughed when your pussy clenched harder. “you like it when i choke you? fucking slut,” he said, chocking you even harder. “my slut-“
“yours,” you screamed. “only yours jaehyun,” you cried as the tears in your eyes ran down your cheeks. he rammed your pussy as you cried, letting out loud desperate moans. he grabbed your jaw, bringing your parted lips to his in a messy kiss, his muscle immediately intruding your mouth. drool was rolling down the side of your mouth, as his tongue and yours fought for dominance.
it was a mess. everything was a mess. you. jaehyun. the sound of jaehyun’s hips slamming the back of your tights. your blanket, covered in the juices of your previous orgasm.
it was when jaehyun let out again breathy whimper against your mouth that you knew he was close. he reached down, rubbing quick harsh circles against you clit. “can i come inside?” he asked against your mouth and you nodded fervently, muttering followed please’s against his lips. “gonna fill you up baby,” he moaned. “that’s all you’re good for isn’t it? just need someone to fuck you dumb don’t you? you don’t even care who it is,” he groaned and you cried, shaking your head in denial, to which jaehyun let out a smile of victory.
“no one fucks me like you do, jaehyun,” you cried and pulled him closer to hide your face in the crook of his neck.
“my baby,” he moaned, his tone suddenly softer than ever. “not mark’s. just mine.”
and with that, you came around his dick. your legs shaking violently against his hips, you threw your head against the bed, arching your back, pulling your chest flushed against jaehyun’s. and at the feeling of your velvety walls pulsing tightly around him, jaehyun’s pace inside you became almost animalistic until white spurts of his cum were filling you up.
he fucked his cum into you until there was nothing left, making you moan in overstimulation. “jae, s’too much,” you whimpered, and he stopped his motions, collapsing on top of your body, his face buried in the crook of your neck.
you ran the tips of your fingers through his spine as he peppered gentle pecks against the skin of your neck. his dick was still inside you when he asked, with his voice still raspy. “why did you sleep with mark?”
you sighed, noting the almost unnoticeable hint of disappointment behind his words. “you were busy.”
“what?” he asked, pulling his face away from your neck to look you in the eye, his brows furrowed. he hissed at the feeling of your sticky center against his. “what do you mean?” he asked while reaching down to get off you, laying by your side and throwing one arm on top of your waist with his palm against your tummy, staring at the side of your face.
“the blonde girl,” you mumbled, mindlessly playing with his fingers resting on your tummy.
he thought back to the party, remembering the blonde girl chasing around him through the party as he searched around the house for you, just for johnny to tell him that you had gone up to mark’s room. then, he thought back to when she was grinding on him as he kissed her mouth. “oh, you saw that?”
“yeah.”
“nothing really happened. we just kissed, then i found out you were in mark’s room and just went up to sulk in my own room,” he explained and you couldn’t help the little chuckle that left your lips at that.
“ i only went to mark's room because you were grinding on someone else! also, how do you say nothing happened and then say you ‘just kissed’” you mimicked. “I literally saw her on your lap. only I get to be on your lap during parties,” you mumbled as jaehyun watched you helplessly ramble from beside.
“we never said we were exclusive, y/n,” he said and you looked to the side, raised eyebrows, and parted lips, watching a teasing smirk grow on his lips.
“I thought it was explicit,” you whispered and jaehyun bit his bottom lip, enjoying your reaction to his teasing remark. "I mean, I wasn't sleeping with anyone else- and I'm not, it was really just that one time with mark, and just because I was angry and drunk." you stopped your rambling, feeling jaehyun's eyes on you and stopped playing with his fingers, building up the courage for your next question. "are you sleeping with other people?"
“I’m not,” he whispered, sighing dreamily and pressing a kiss to your cheek.
"you're being weirdly affectionate," you said, laughing at his reaction.
"you literally asked for it. I don't want to be a corpse," he answered making you let out an amused chuckle. "about the blonde girl," he said and you looked at him, your eyes boring into his. "I'm sorry I kissed her. the truth is that the night before, johnny hadn't shut up about how I was so in love with you and you didn't feel the same," your eyes widened in shock, and jaehyun laughed. "I freaked the fuck out and decided to sleep with someone else that night. but when i was about to take her up to my room, i basically just chickened out and went looking for you. and that's when i found out you had gone up with mark."
he explained, honesty overflowing in his voice, his eyes still fixed on yours. you sighed and looked back at the ceiling of your room. “I'm sorry, princess,” he whispered and pressed a kiss to your shoulder, his hands starting to lovingly stroke the skin of your waist.
“are you in love with me?” you asked after a few minutes of silence and his hand stopped it's motions.
"I don't know," he answered. "probably."
you looked over at him. his hair was messy over his forehead, his eyes looked at you, hesitant, and with his bottom lip tucked under his teeth. you rolled around, laying on your side with your chest now pressed to his, and pulled his face closer with one hand behind his neck to gently press your lips together, your lips molding to his in a soft, slow kiss. his arms rolled around your waist as he hummed against your mouth and pulled your body on top of his.
"and what are you gonna do about that?" you asked when your lips parted.
"I don't know, I've never done this before," he whispered against your lips.
it was a known fact to you that jaehyun had never dated before. all his associations with other women were resumed to one-night-stands or one-month-long flings (and that was pushing it). so it was no shock that jaehyun really was clueless about what to do when it came to actual relationships. "you should probably take me on a proper date," you said between chuckles.
"aren't we a bit past that?" he asked, smirking. "I mean, I literally just fucked you," he laughed when you rested your forehead against his chest in faked disappointment. "will you make me the happiest man alive and go out with me?" he said when you moved to rest your chin against the center of his chest.
"oh my god, you're not proposing, jaehyun," you complained and jaehyun burst out laughing again. "try again."
"just let me take you on a date," he said, closing his eyes in annoyance, and you chuckled. "please?" he added, slowly opening his eyes to look down at you. at that, you reached up to press repeated pecks against his lips, unable to control the affection you felt towards the boy. it was endearing how clueless he was.
"how 'bout breakfast tomorrow?" you whispered against his lips and he nodded. "no fucking until then. we can't rush things," you warned and jaehyun laughed loudly, surprised you would even propose that knowing you two had had sex countless times before.
also, he was sleeping over. "you can't be serious," he deadpanned.
"I am! there are rules when it comes to dating, jaehyun!"
jaehyun ended up fucking you twice in the shower and, once again, in bed, before you went to sleep. in the morning, while you were getting ready to go out for breakfast, he fucked you against the wall of your bedroom and then again, with you bent over the bathroom counter. after that, as he was driving you two to the brunch place he had chosen, you argued about how he couldn't keep it in his pants. you argued, really, because he spent the whole ride mocking you. then, he fingered you under the table during brunch and had the guts to blame you for wearing a skirt.
nothing with jaehyun was according to the norm. he didn't believe in rules and he wouldn't ever do anything the way he was told to. you weren't ever sure of anything when it came to jaehyun and it infuriated you, but later that night, about 12 hours after your first date, jaehyun asked you to be his girlfriend, and you couldn't do anything except let out a burst of laughter and mutter an infatuated 'yes'.
and you couldn't be more certain of your answer.
627 notes · View notes
lonelyharmonies · 8 months
Text
just friends
what happens when you wake up in someone else’s bed after getting drunk in a party?
pairing: jaehyun x fem reader type: fluff, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers au (or kinda), college au, word count: 22k warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive sometimes a/n.: hello friends!! this story here is my baby, the first full fic i've ever written 💚 3 years later i still love it as the first time i've posted it. i hope you enjoy it as much as i do. if you think you have read this story before, youprobably did, this is a repost. not very much edited so you might find some mistakes, i apologize!
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The sunlight peeking through the curtains meets your face and you wake up as soon as your cheeks get warm. You didn’t remember your bed being this comfortable. A foreign smell invades your nostrils but you don’t mind for a moment. The perfume had notes of lavender and it was sort of strong, but you didn’t mind, deciding to put your head further into the pillow, capturing more of that pleasant scent.
A few minutes later, you open your eyes and it takes a while for you to realize it isn’t your bedroom. Neither is your cousin’s. You have no idea where and why you are here. The room is small but cozy, way different from your own. You can see some heavy books on the shelves next to you and a box full of vinyl.
You turn your head to the right to find a naked back facing you. Analyzing the body proportions and the room you were in, you assumed it was a boy. 
What happened to you? Why were you sleeping with a stranger?
You tried to remember the events from last night.
“Come on, Y/N, it’s gonna be fun!” “I don’t like frat parties, Taeyong.” you repeat the same line “Plus, I am really tired. Do you know how many assignments I have due next week? And tutoring is killing. Some students really push my buttons.” “See? You are so stressed! A couple of beers will do you good.”
Then, you remembered the noise. A lot of noise. You see flashes from the previous night events: there were people dancing, Mark Lee spilling his drink on you, and a shirtless Yuta dancing on the top of the kitchen’s counter. The only thing that wasn’t clear on your mind was how you ended up in this room.
Your cousin was in front of you, clearly drunk. You knew he was a lightweight. He knew he was a lightweight. That was probably the reason why Taeyong would always try to find a way to drag you to the parties with him: to clean the mess he makes. “I can’t drive you back, pumpkin. I’m sorry,” He said, bringing his hands to cup his face, as a way to act cute, but spilling his drink on the floor in the process. “Well, I’m already aware of this. You don't even have a license.” You felt your head spinning. Taeyong smiles and focuses on something behind you “I’ll call an Uber. Or maybe I should just walk,” You fished your phone out of your pocket, but your cousin took it away from you. “No, no. Don’t go home now.” He waved at someone while you tried to get your phone back. “You should enjoy this party. How long haven’t you made out with someone?” “LEE TAEYONG!” You and Johnny, who had placed an arm on your shoulders, shouted at the same time. “and The Cousin!”  “Can she sleep here tonight, Johnny? She’ll sleep in my room” Taeyong asked and Johnny screamed “Sure” while you tried to scold the other boy. “Lee Taeyong, come back here. Who said I agreed-” you tried to grab your cousin’s arm but he deflected your touch and went straight to a group of girls.  “Hey, hey, Y/N. “ Johnny called your attention. “Relax.” He handed you a shot glass full of a transparent liquid “The night has just started.”
While you were trying to remember what happened the night before, the man that is lying beside you wakes up. Jaehyun turns around and lays his eyes on your figure. At first, he thought he was still dreaming, but the scream that left your mouth once you met his gaze made Jaehyun realize it wasn’t a dream.
You get so startled that you lean backward as Jaehyun tries to hold your arm to keep you in place.
 “Be careful, you’re gonna hurt-” 
You don’t finish listening to his sentence as your body hits the ground with a loud thud. If you were sleepy before, falling out of the bed made you feel completely awake. You knocked your head on the bedside table and groaned quite loudly.
“Good morning, Y/N.” He says from his bed, looking at your lying figure on the floor.
Now that you could see the stranger’s face, you just wished to go back to sleep. Dying was also a good option. Not even in your wildest dreams, you would imagine waking up next to Jeong Jaehyun after getting dead drunk at one of his fraternity’s parties. 
You met Jaehyun when your cousin dragged you to your first frat party two years ago. You were getting some drinks in the kitchen when you laid your eyes on him playing beer pong with Yuta. You didn’t know a guy could look so attractive just by drinking beer wearing an all-black outfit. Ever since, you admired him from afar, never failing to be awestruck by his nice features. You never got the courage to talk to Jaehyun, but it all changed when your cousin insisted that you should help his friend Johnny.
“He is just trying to learn a new language.”  Taeyong would blatantly answer every time you questioned his friend’s sudden interest in taking Spanish classes. At the time, you were working for the Language Center at your university, so the two boys were constantly pestering you to sign Johnny up for the Spanish course and they only stopped once you gave in. It didn’t take you long to find out the reason why Johnny was so persistent: Mrs. García, or Isabela García, the senior student that taught the course: Spanish for Speakers of Other Languages. She was very sweet, smart, and popular among everyone on Campus and, apparently, Johnny was trying to have his shot with her while getting extra credits.  Eventually, you became closer. Not only because of your shared class but because Taeyong was your mutual friend. It was after one of your classes that you formally met Jaehyun for the first time, six months after seeing him in that party for the first time. He was waiting outside, a tray with coffee in one hand and a paper bag in the other. “I can’t believe you thought it was a good idea to try to make a pickup line in Spanish.” you sighed loudly. “You can barely introduce yourself. Plus, she’s your teacher, keep it in your pants.” “Please, I was amaz- OH, whassup Jeffrey?!” Johnny spotted his friend waiting for him “This is my boring classmate Y/N. Y/N, this is Jaehyun.” “Hi, nice to meet you,” you said sheepishly, avoiding to look at his face. “Nice to meet you too.” “Today I said to Isabella that she was “La chica más Bella I’ve ever seen.” You know, Isabella and all-” “I don’t speak Spanish, Johnny.” the guy mumbled and you suppressed a smile. “- and even though I couldn’t say the whole sentence in Spanish, she smiled at me and said I was sweet. I bet she loved it.” “I clearly remember her disgusted face when she asked you to keep doing the exercise.” “You're lying to make me look bad.” “She wouldn’t need to lie, Hyung,” Jaehyun said, making you giggle.
After that meeting, you did talk to each other, but never alone. It was either at their fraternity parties or at lunch when he would join you, Johnny, and Taeyong. Now, you had slept in his bed and didn’t even remember how you ended up there. 
“I have no idea how I ended up on your bed. I am so, so sorry, Jaehyun.” you clumsily start standing up and finding your way to the door. “I-I swear I would never sleep with you.” 
You realize what you said and widened your eyes regretting your words. The boy, on the other hand, only chuckles and stays laid down on his bed, finding quite amusing your flustered and messy state.
“Ouch, it kinda hurts my pride” 
“I mean- I don’t mean like that. You are very attrac-” you stop yourself and shake your hand in front of your body “What I mean is, of course, I would sleep with- NO!” you stop, taking a deep breath. 
Why couldn’t you come up with a simple sentence? You decide to focus on the Mickey Mouse plushie on the top of his shelf and start again.
“This is so embarrassing! What I’m trying to say is-”
Jaehyun’s laughter stops you. He runs his hands through his fingers as he sits on his bed, with the comforter only covering his bottom parts, torso completely exposed.
“I think you mean that you wouldn’t take advantage of me.” 
“Yes! Yes. That’s exactly what I was trying to say.” you quickly agree, averting your gaze from his figure.
“I also have no idea how you ended up here.” Jaehyun states, grabbing a black t-shirt from the ground “but I’m sure nothing happened because I went to bed early last night. And alone.” he emphasizes the last part “Were you at the party?”
“Yeah,” you answered while looking at your feet and end up taking a glance at your stained shirt. 
The stain on your shirt makes you realize how fucked up you must look. You also smell terrible. Why was this happening to you? There were so many bedrooms in this house, why did you end up precisely in his?
“I had a few drinks last night…”
“A few?” he raises an eyebrow curiously.
“Maybe too many.” you scratch the back of your head and keep looking down.
Then, the awkward silence comes. You, standing there, in the middle of the room, like a statue in the middle of the room and Jaehyun a few steps away from you. It fazed you how he managed to look charming even after just waking up. 
“So, uh… The door…” he says motioning to the door behind you, snapping you back to reality.
“Oh, yes, sure. I’m sorry.” you turn back and open the door. 
Luck being on your side, the first thing you see as you get out of the room is your friend, Johnny, holding a puzzled look on his face.
“Isn’t it Jaehyun’s…”
“Yes.” 
You grumble and turn to your left, heading to the staircase, not giving Johnny enough time to make questions.
"Did you sleep together?” he asks Jaehyun loud enough for you to hear by the end of the hall.
“NO,” both of you say at the same time. 
Actually, you screamed from the top of the staircase and Jaehyun mumbled beside Johnny. “I think she’s not really interested.” he completes with a sarcastic note, chuckling.
“Why was she coming out of your room? How did that happen?” 
“Did you smell her clothes? She was probably dead drunk last night.”
By the time the boys reached the messy living room, you were already opening the front door.
“At least drink a cup of coffee” Johnny offers and you shake your head.
“Tell Taeyong I went back to the dorms,” you say, stepping outside and shutting the door as fast as you could. 
“Let me drive-” Johnny starts but you close the door before he could finish “you.”
The two boys head to the kitchen and start preparing their breakfast. Johnny places a cup of coffee in front of Jaehyun who smiles and silently thanks him. The next one to wake up is Yuta, who walked down the stairs inexplicably happy for someone who should have a hangover.
"Care to explain why this house is so noisy on a Saturday morning?” he calls the room’s attention to himself. “I hear too many voices.”
“There was a misunderstanding,” Jaehyun mumbles.
“What do you mean?” Yuta raised an eyebrow at the younger and Johnny giggled.
“Y/N woke up on Jaehyun’s bed this morning.” 
“What, Taeyong’s cousin?” he turns to Johnny who nods “She slept with you?” Yuta gaps at the younger boy “So she finally admitted she-”
“YUta” Johnny interrupts him “I was joking.”
“She was just really drunk and ended up in my room last night,” the youngest says, munching his cereal “When she got there I was already asleep. I didn’t spend a lot of time at the party last night. I have three projects to hand in this month. They are tiring me out.” 
“So, Y/N really slept with you?” Yuta asked again.
“In my room,“ Jaehyun corrects. “Well, if you excuse me, I’ll go to the gym.” he gives them a small smile and leaves the kitchen.
“Yuta, you almost said Y/N likes Jaehyun!” Johnny whispers-yells at Yuta.
“Well, it’s not like she knows how to hide her crush.”
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“So you’re telling me that you slept with Jeong Jaehyun?” your roommate asks after you finished telling her about the events of the previous night.
You sigh loudly and shove her hands from your hair. “Did you listen to what I said? I slept on his bed because I was drunk and probably thought I was entering Taeyong’s room.”
“Come back here, I didn’t finish drying your hair.” she pulls you back by your shoulders “It would have been nice if you had slept with him. I heard stories about Jaehyun…”
“You should stop gossiping around,” You roll your eyes.
“Don’t pull up this act, I know you love it when I spill all the tea for you,” she pulls your hair with unnecessary strength, making you groan “Some girls say he really knows how to use his tongue, you know…” she says, pointing down at your lower body and you hit her hand.
“I don’t wanna hear it,” you say in disgust. “Plus, I don’t know how so many people know how Jaehyun is in bed. He looks really reserved and quiet.“
“The quiet ones are the worst, my friend.” your roommate says before blowing air on your right ear, making you yank away from her.
It was midday when you decided to open your laptop and get some work done. You have three essays due to Thursday and you haven’t even started. It was now your third year and the pressure on your shoulders was getting heavier each day. You’re a good student, excellent grades, the professors love you, but after spending all those years studying communication, you still don’t know what you want to do with your life.
Taeyong always says that your problem is that you are too afraid to take the first step. Deep down, you know what you want, you’re just too afraid to pursue it.
Not even twenty minutes after starting your assignment, you hear a special ringtone and see your cousin’s face on your phone’s screen.
“I’ll stop calling you pumpkin and I’ll ask Sicheng if you can have his nickname,” Taeyong says as soon as you pick up the call.
“Who is Sicheng?” 
“Winwin” he replied and you hummed acknowledging. He was a Chinese exchange student who lived with your cousin last year.
“And why would I want to be called Winwin?”
“Because a little bird told me you managed to hook up with Jaehyun. That’s not even a regular win, you deserve a fucking Olympic gold medal for finally going for him.”
You sighed loudly and groaned at your cousin’s words. Did you really think they would keep quiet about this morning’s accident? All the gossips of the campus either start or finish in the damn frat house. They love gossiping. 
"I know your little bird is six feet tall and goes by Johnny,” you say in annoyance. “Couldn’t he keep his mouth shut?”
“It’s like I always say, Cousin,” you hear Johnny’s faint voice, apparently he was far from the microphone “Once the tea’s ready, we need to spill it. But in fact, no. It wasn’t me.” 
“First, I’m not your Cousin, Johnny,” you say, clearing your throat. “Second, you should spill your fucking tea correctly then,” you growl at him which makes both men laugh at the other end of the line. “We didn’t sleep together - I mean, we did sleep together but-”
“I KNEW IT! I told you I heard weird noises coming from the kitchen.” 
You hear a high pitched voice coming from your cousin’s side. You will kill Taeyong as soon as you get a chance.
“Taeyong, is this Donghyuck? That demon? How many people are listening to this phone call?” you lower your voice and feel your cheeks getting hot. Either from embarrassment or anger. (It was probably both).
“Only me, Johnny, Hyuck and Mark.” he simply states, making you huff in annoyance. ONLY four people discussing about your life.
 “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME, THEN?” you scream and hear a bang on your wall, warning you about the noise. “Sorry!” you scream again to apologize. “You said Mark is there? Hey, Mark!”
“Hi, Y/N. I’m still very sorry about your shirt. I promise to buy you a new one,” he says closer to the phone.
“It’s okay, sweetie. My roommate knows how to clean the stain.” 
“Why do you call Mark sweetie and call me a demon? Hyuckie is sad,” Donghyuck says, faking a cute voice.
“Cut the crap, demon. You don’t deserve my love and affection.” you say looking back at your open laptop, realizing you won’t be able to focus anymore “By the way, what does the noise have to do with me? It could have been literally anyone.”
“Well, I heard that you guys spent the whole night, you know… Having fun. Even on the kitchen counter,” the youngest says suggestively ,making you gasp.
“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? HEARD FROM WHO? THAT’S A LIE”
“That’s why I called, we needed to confirm the story,” Taeyong says laughing at your reaction.
“STOP LAUGHING! THIS IS NOT FUN” you hear your dorm neighbor punching your wall again and you snap “I’M BEING DEFAMED, ABIGAIL. GIVE ME A BREAK.” you scream towards the wall she has just punched.
“Abigail should just buy earplugs. She gets irritated by any sound you make.” you hear your cousin mumbling.
“Don’t try to change the subject, Taeyong.” you warn him “I am seriously so mad at you. Especially you, Johnny. I’m sure Jaehyun explained the whole incident.”
“She’s really mad, isn’t she?” someone whispers and the rest of them giggle.
“I can hear you.”
“Yeah, Jaehyun told me you were drunk and ended up in his bed, but who knows what happened before the sun came out.” Johnny giggles.
“NOTHING happened, for your information. I didn’t have sex on the kitchen counter” and you make sure to quickly answer “OR on Jaehyun’s bed. I didn’t hook up with that man, please, stop getting on my nerves.”
“Sicheng can keep being Winwin, she’s still a loser.” you hear Donghyuck snickering at his joke.
“But why did you go to Jaehyun’s room, though?” Mark asks.
“My drunk-self probably thought it was Taeyong’s,” you answer and throw yourself on your bed.
The line stayed silent for some seconds, the boys were whispering something to themselves but you couldn’t understand anything they were saying.
“Hello?”
“So, dear cousin.” he has just started and you could already assume he was trying to hold back his laughter.
“Do you know your cousin’s bedroom is the first room on the right?” Johnny asks and you hum in response.
“Jaehyun hyung stays at the end of the hall, dude..." Mark continues.
“On the left,” Donghyuck adds.
“Are you insinuating I went there on purpose?” you ask them “I was drunk!”
“You know what they say, noona,” you hear Donghyuck’s “drunk actions are sober thoughts.”
“That’s not how it goes,” you mumble.
“We all know you like Jaehyun hyung.” you gasp at the youngest words. “It’s not like you make an effort to hide your crush on him. Even Yuta hyung knows it.”
“I promise I didn’t say anything to them,” Johnny says immediately
“Me neither.” Taeyong adds “But Hyuck made a good point, you’re not subtle.”
“Do you remember last Tuesday how she choked on her own saliva when Jaehyun offered her sour gummies?” Johnny added laughing.
“Stop mocking me.” you huffed. “Please, don’t make a big deal out of this. The situation itself is already embarrassing.”
“You should shoot your shot, Y/N.” Mark says in a supportive tone “If I hadn’t made the first move, I wouldn’t be dating now.”
“Yes, we support you.”
“If even Mark has a girlfriend, you can get that d- OUCH DON’T HIT ME”
“Plus, you already know each-”
“You’re not that bad-looking either-”
All the boys start speaking at the same time and you think you might go crazy. What are they talking about? Dating Jeong Jaehyun? It’s not like you were in love with the guy, it was only a crush, for heaven’s sake! You were only acquaintances and dating was definitely not your top priority right now. You hang up on the rambling boys at the same time your roommate comes back to your shared room.
“What happened? Abigail was complaining about you screaming at her,” she says closing the door and sitting beside you.
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When Monday came, you instantly wished that it was Friday. You are woken up by a pillow being thrown at you, full force. The alarm on your phone must have been ringing for a while but you didn’t hear it.
“Good morning to you too, Jiwoo.” you groan.
“Turn this off,” she says covering her head with her comforter looking like a caterpillar. “What time are you free today? Wanna grab dinner?”
“Spanish class finishes at 7.” you yawn and stand up, finally getting enough strength to start your day.
You’ve been taking Spanish classes for a year and a half now. And even though Mrs. García graduated last semester, Johnny continued taking the classes, which positively surprised you.
“I’ll meet you at the Language Center, then.” she pokes her head out of her comfortable cocoon to whisper “You can invite that hot classmate of yours. The tall one.”
“I’m not gonna invite Johnny,” you say shaking your head and choosing your pair of jeans and t-shirt of the day “He will certainly embarrass me.”
“We’ve been living together for three years, is there anything about you I don’t know yet?” she says, now sitting on her bed. “Stop being selfish and help your lonely friend here.”
“Why Johnny, though?” you ask, turning your head to her “Remember how he signed up for the Spanish classes only because of the hot teacher?”
“Yeah, he’s a frat boy.” she says shrugging her shoulders “But it’s not like I want to marry him. It’s like Cyndi Lauper used to say...” she stands up and takes her phone out of the charger and ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ starts playing. You roll your eyes and smile at her.
“Alright, I’ll ask Johnny.” you close your drawer and open the bedroom’s door “Just turn it off before Abigail starts hitting our wall.”
Your morning classes went smoothly, no surprises. Some professors scheduled exams for next month and you made sure to add a reminder on your phone. At noon you went to the cafeteria to buy your lunch and ran to Mrs. Park’s office. She was one of the professors responsible for the Academic Writing course, and because of your excellent grades, she recommended you as a tutor. Despite being an elective subject, a lot of freshmen always signed up for it since it was very helpful during your undergraduate life.
Once you get into the long hall, you swallow the last piece of your sandwich and knock on her door. The old lady opened it with a smile, motioning for you to enter.
“How are you today, dear?” she says sitting on her chair and you mirror her action.
“I’m fine, thank you. Is everything alright, Mrs. Park? You called me here…” you say cautiously earning a giggle from the lady.
“Oh, don’t worry dear. I’m sorry if my email sounded so urgent, I just wanted to talk to you about your tutoring classes.” she types something on her laptop and looks back at you. “There are some foreign students in my class who might need help not only with the academic style but the language itself. I will ask you to be patient and take a closer look at them.”
“Of course! I haven’t tutored any foreign student yet, but I’ll gladly help them,” you say smiling.
“I’ll keep you updated with my lesson plans and their assignments…”
Your meeting with Mrs. Park was short and very pleasant, as always. She was kind enough to give you a cookie once you finished. You were now heading back to the main building, finding your way to the library where you would continue the assignments you postponed on Saturday. Too focused on arriving as soon as possible, you didn’t see a tall guy, holding three heavy books, coming in your direction and when you realized, it was too late to get out of his way. You met the floor, just like the books and some of his notes.
“I’m so sorry.” you start picking up the sheets of paper next to you “I didn’t see…” you only meet his eyes when the guy kneels and picks up one of the books on the floor.
“Hi, Y/N” Jaehyun’s lips stretched into a subtle smile, showing the dimples on his cheeks.
“Oh, hi! I’m so sorry for this mess.” you say, both standing up. “I didn’t see you there.”
“You’ve been apologizing a lot lately,” he comments, remembering your flustered state two days before.
“Sor-” you stop yourself before you could finish your apologies, again. Jaehyun giggles at you.
“You’re distracted, it happens.” he shrugs, smiling widely and you swore your heart was going to combust at that very moment. “Gotta go, see you around.”
You don’t even have time to answer, the boy was already at the end of the hall.  
Some hours later and with an empty stomach, you finish your first essay and check the time. You had five minutes to get to class. Hurriedly, you gathered your belongings and ran across buildings to get there on time. Fortunately, the teacher wasn’t in class yet. But Johnny was.
“Señorita, muy tarde, ¿no?” he says and you roll your eyes “Our Spanish princess is late, I can’t believe it.”
“Stop being so annoying.” you say throwing your bag beside him, “I thought I was the Spanish queen. Did you declass me?”
“Now that that straight A student is gone, I gave it a second thought and I believe the queen title belongs to her,. But you're the second best," he says taking a pen and a notebook out of his backpack, making you raise an eyebrow. “I promised I wouldn’t copy your notes this semester.”
“I have to say I’m surprised. I didn’t think you would want to keep studying Spanish.“
"Why not?”
“I thought you only wanted to… you know… hang out with our teacher.” you hesitate.
“Since when is fuck a forbidden word?” he chuckles “Yes, I wanted to fuck her but I told you, I wanted to learn a new language too.”
“You didn’t need to be rude, Johnny,” you mumble and he laughs.
“Plus, I’m doing this for you too.” you give him a questioning look and he replies with a cheeky grin “So you can see Jaehyun’s face twice a week.”
“And here I was considering hooking you up with my roommate,” you say to him.
“What do you mean?”
“She invited you to have dinner with us tonight because she wants to flirt with you.” you say bored, looking at your wristwatch. “Isn’t the teacher a bit late?”
“Well, I’m free tonight, why don’t give your sweet roommate a chance?”
“Just, please, tone it down while I’m eating. I don’t want to be the third-wheel.”
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You had a knife and you weren’t afraid to use it against Johnny right now. When he said he would make sure that you wouldn't be thirdwheeling, he didn’t mention it involved inviting Jeong Jaehyun.
“Is it a double date?” Jiwoon whispered in your ear when she saw the boy approaching your table.
“This is not a date,” you say behind your gritted teeth. “Johnny…” you look at the man in front of you and he smiles widely.
“So, Jiwoo, that’s my friend Jaehyun. We live together.” Johnny introduces Jaehyun to your roommate, who shakes his hand. “This is Jiwoo.”
“Nice to meet you, Jaehyun.”
“I called you here because I thought it would be nice to have a double date!” Johnny boldly says making your eyes grow wider and your face burn. It made Jaehyun’s ear red, but that you didn’t notice.
“This is a friendly dinner,” you say, taking the knife from the table, “and I would appreciate it if you stop being so inconvenient.”
“I thought I could call it a date after what happened Saturday morning.” Johnny grins at you and before you could scream at him, Jaehyun speaks first.
“Stop bringing that up,” he places a hand on Johnny’s shoulder, “you’re making her uncomfortable.”
“Why are your ears so red, Jaehyunnie?” Johnny tilts his head to the side and places both hands on the other boy’s ears.
“I’ll punch your face once we get home,” the younger mumbles and Johnny lifts an eyebrow.
“It will be fun watching you try,” he mumbles back. “So, ladies, shall we order?”
After the dramatic introductions, the dinner went quite well and there wasn’t another mention regarding The Incident (how you like to call it on your mind). Johnny and Jiwoo were too engrossed in their own flirting to think about embarrassing their friends. It was a really pleasant meal and by the end of it, you found out Jaehyun is easygoing and it wasn’t hard to hold a conversation once he opened up. He told you about his major, architecture, even though you already knew that, and said he was glad that Johnny invited him to dinner because, being full of projects to finish, he probably wouldn’t even remember to eat properly.
“We know each other for what, a year and a half?” he asks and you nod. “How come we never talked like this?”
“I think we never had the chance,” you say smiling.
Johnny and your roommate were walking behind you. You glanced back and saw his arms around her shoulders, giggling while she blushed.
“They are disgusting,” you say with disdain, and Jaehyun laughs. “Seriously. I asked him to tone it down… I’m tired of thirdwheeling,” you say under your breath, but Jaehyun hears you.
“Is that why Johnny called me?” he says suggestively “So you did want it to be a double date.”
“What? NO!” you say hitting his left arm but regretting right after. You just got to know the guy, you are not that close yet. But your heart feels lighter once he chuckles.
“Do you know why Johnny always messes with you?” he asks and you shake your head. “Because you get riled up easily. I was only joking, dummy.” he flicks your forehead lightly, smiling at you, exposing his dimples.
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“So, you and Jaehyun talked a lot, huh,” Jiwoo says while both of you are on your way back to the dorms. It was late, but you didn’t mind missing a few hours of sleep. Not today.
“Yeah, he was friendly,” you refrain yourself from saying much more. “I had no one else to talk to since you and Johnny were almost making out in front of me,” you say with a playful smile while she pushes out of the sidewalk.
“You are exaggerating.” she sighs and you smile wider “But we did flirt.”
“Did you give him your number?” you ask, linking your arms together.
“Yes, we exchanged numbers. I hope he texts first.”
“Oh, don’t wait for Johnny.” you say and Jiwoo tilts her head in confusion “He will forget to text you. Once we get home, send him something like ‘thanks for dinner’ or ‘I had so much fun tonight’ and he will be happy.”
The rest of the walk back home was your friend trying to embarrass you bringing up Jaehyun and you trying not to get riled up easily, as the boy had mentioned before. You realized your attempts to remain unbothered were in vain when Jiwoo was running away from you to avoid physical retaliation.
Both of you entered the building laughing as quietly as you could. Once you got to your floor, you headed to the end of the hall, meeting one of your neighbors, Abigail, getting out of her own room with a plate full of cookies.
“Hello, girls! I made those cookies for my roommate, but she’s already asleep. Do you want to share it?”
“Are you sure you don’t wanna keep them for when she wakes up?” Jiwoo asks, already putting a cookie on her mouth “I take it back. Yes, we accept the cookies.”
“Is it good?” she asks expectantly.
“This is DIVINE!” you hit your roommate’s shoulder and open your door.
After accpeting you neighbor's cookies and chatting for a bit, you and Jiwoo went to bed. You laid your head down on your pillow and, even though you felt tired, you couldn’t get out of your head images of a certain dimpled boy. Before The Incident, you and Jaehyun barely had opportunities to know each other like you did tonight. Of course, you would rather cut off your tongue than tell Johnny you liked his idea of inviting the boy. It made you wonder if getting to know him better will make your little crush fade away or make it bigger. You sincerely hoped for the former.
In the morning, rather than your alarm, your cousin’s ringtone woke you up. You groaned and picked up the phone.
“Good morning, pumpkin! Is the grass greener, the world beautiful and life worth living yet?” you hear his giggles and sigh loudly.
Johnny Fucking Seo.
“You are alive to bother me, life still sucks.” you whisper trying not to wake up Jiwoo “Do you know you woke me up before my alarm? What time…” you take your phone from your ears to check the time and when you read 6:17 am on the screen, you know Taeyong days are numbered. “Are you a psychopath? I still had almost an hour of sleep.”
“I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be late!” he says loudly and you hear a thud in the background “And also because I wanna meet my lovely cousin before my first class that starts at 8:30. I’m making a special breakfast for us.”
“Please, don’t.” you have flashbacks from the last time Taeyong made a ‘special breakfast’ you had to spend the rest of your day taking antacid “Just stick with simple breakfast. Simple is good.”
“Okay, then. Meet you at 7:30 in the cafeteria.” he says and when you are about to hang up, he finishes with “I might invite Jaehyun too.”
“LEE TAEYONG” you whisper-yell but he had hung up before you could protest. The person who said that family is everything clearly didn’t have an annoying cousin like Taeyong.
You spend some time scrolling through your social media and messaging death threats to Johnny and Taeyong. Then you decide to get up and write a note to your friend. Today both of your classes wouldn’t start until 10 am, so you decided to warn her and let her sleep peacefully.
At 7:35 you arrived at the cafeteria and spotted Taeyong sitting in one of the tables, two trays in front of him.
“You are late.”
“Only five minutes.” you shrug “I thought you were making me a special breakfast,” you go to his side and greet him with a hug.
“You said I should make it simple so I bought you the cafeteria breakfast. Don’t complain.” he takes his bag off the chair next to him and motions for you to sit down. “I need your help.”
You frown while munching a piece of bread. “Help? I thought you called to make fun of me for going on a date with Jaehyun.”
“And yet, you came, willingly. I’ll tell Johnny you considered it a date.” he had a knowing smile adorning his face. “But, no, I wouldn’t wake up earlier just to annoy you. You’re not that important.” he says while peeling a banana. “First, don’t forget that my sister is coming to visit us this weekend. My mom will kill me if you’re not there to celebrate with us.”
Taeyong’s family lived closer than yours. Being only a one hour drive to his hometown, both of you constantly pay your aunt a visit - most of the time requested by her. This time, Taeyong’s sister is visiting after a whole year living abroad with her son and husband, so, obviously, there would be a huge family gathering.
"But I also need your help with a surprise party. Yuta’s birthday is coming soon and I would ask for the boys’ help, but now that Doyoung is gone I can only trust Taeil.”
“That’s because your friends can’t keep their mouth shut,” you mumble and see your cousin smiling. “What do you want me to do? I don’t know Yuta that well, he will find it weird…”
“You won’t need to talk to him or anything. I was thinking you could buy decorations and make the cake.”
“Where will you celebrate it? You can go bowling, maybe going to an arcade… Arcade sounds nice.”
“Arcade? How old are you 12?” Taeyong scoffs. “We’ll just throw a party and invite everyone.”
“You will throw a frat party and give a cake to the guy and call it a surprise?” you deadpan. “Are you dumb?”
“Yeah, I’m throwing him a party. What else do you want me to do?” he looks at you bewildered.
“Well, if your plan is throwing a party and inviting everyone on campus, you won’t need to worry about your friends because Yuta will know one way or another.“ you sigh and place your sandwich back on the tray. “It will be a party full of people who barely know him… it’s better if you just take him to a place he likes. Maybe an amusement park? You can try to find a ticket for that french film festival, he looks cultured, he might like it.”
“People don’t want to spend their birthday at cultured festivals, Y/N. People wanna get drunk. I’m people. Yuta is people.” Taeyong says stealing your sandwich.
“Give it back, thief.” you take it from his hands “I’m not saying he can’t get drunk, I’m just saying it’s stupid to make a frat party to celebrate his birthday, there’s nothing special in it.”
You continue bickering for a couple of minutes until a tall figure appears patting Taeyong shoulder and sitting next to you.
“Good morning to you”
You hear his baritone voice and your heart starts beating faster, but you say to yourself that it had nothing to do with Jaehyun being right beside you. Your pulse was fast because of your argument with Taeyong, yes, that was the reason.
"What are you fighting about?”
“Before you murder me, I didn’t know he would be here.” Taeyong whispers to you. “I didn’t know you had classes early today, Jae.”
“Yeah, I actually came early because of my group project. One of the girls ruined it and now we need to fix it.” he scratches the back of his head and you see him slumping against the chair “What were you talking about?”
“Yuta’s birthday.” you blurt out at the same time as Taeyong says “My mom’s dinner.”
“Sorry…” you say smiling apologetically to your cousin “I’m sure Jaehyun won’t say anything.”
“So, Jae, we’re planning a birthday party,” Taeyong starts but you interrupt.
“You are being unreasonable.“ you scoff at your cousin “Your idea doesn’t make ANY sense. You can’t make a surprise party when you plan to invite half campus.”
“Could you, please, shut up?” he warns, lifting his index finger in your direction “I was telling her that we could throw a big surprise party and invite everyone to celebrate Yuta’s birthday.”
“Basically, he wants to throw one of your frat parties and expects Yuta to be surprised. This is a terrible idea.” you say crossing your arms over your chest “I suggest something more intimate, for his close friends…”
“You’re just saying this because you don’t like our parties. They are the most fun-“ Jaehyun interrupts Taeyong before he can finish.
“I agree with your cousin, hyung.” you and Taeyong quickly shift your attention to the boy “She has a point. You can’t expect that everyone you invite won’t tell Yuta. And it’s his birthday, he should celebrate with people that actually care about him,” he sips his iced coffee before continuing “We can make a small surprise party. I heard Winwin is planning to visit us and Johnny knows one of his classmates, he can ask-“
"No, not Johnny.” you interrupt him “He will end up telling Yuta about the party.”
“I can try talking to the guy, I guess.” he smiles and you nod happily.
“See, Taeyong, that’s what we call a good idea,” you say and he makes a disgusted face.
“Since when are you guys that close? You had your first date yesterday!“ your cousin teases you and you throw a banana at him.
“It was a friendly dinner.” Jaehyun corrects Taeyong, copying your words from yesterday. You smile, even though a tiny part of you felt a little bit hurt that he didn’t consider it a date. “And this has nothing to do with our new friendship, I’m just being fair.”
Taeyong hums looking at the younger boy suspiciously.
“I do think we can throw a party for him at a bowling alley, though. Does he like bowling? Maybe an arcade-” you start ranting but Jaehyun laughs at you.
“How old are you?” as soon as the question leaves his lips, Taeyong snickers.
“I told you it was childish.”
You place your elbows on the table and rests your cheeks on your hands. “I really wanted to go to an arcade,” you mumble.
“Go by yourself then,” Taeyong says, placing the banana you threw at him back on your tray. “I’ll create a group chat with you so we can think about the details.” he says, fishing his phone out of his pocket and widening his eyes when he looked at the time “I gotta go or I’ll be late for class.”
Jaehyun stands up at the same time as your cousin, gathering his belongings “I should go too.”
“It’s a surprise, don’t tell anyone.” Taeyong points a finger at you before waving goodbye.
“I’m not a snitch,” you say loud enough for him to hear you.
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You had to admit, the rest of your week went by quickly and nothing exciting happened. Except for one of your tutoring students. He was one of the exchange students Mrs. Park had warned you about. His language skills were still a bit rusty, but he was brilliant nevertheless.
Hendery Wong was so easygoing and fun to be with, that even boring tutoring sessions became bearable.
"So, you are telling me that I can’t use this structure here” he frowned and pointed at the same sentence for the third time “But in this other situation it is correct? It makes no sense!” he laughs and throws his pencil on the table.
“Hendery, you need to analyze the whole sentence. Pay attention to the syntax.”
“Y/N, you are a great tutor, but it’s been two hours and I’m starving.” he stopped you by placing his open palm in front of your face.
“You’re right, we should let this matter for the next session.” you started gathering your belongings while the guy next to you stood up.
“Do you wanna grab lunch together? But you are forbidden to talk about syntax or verb tenses.” you laughed at him and nod
“Yeah, that would be nice.”
“Great!”
Once you stood up and got ready to go, you realized the boy started giggling while looking at you.
“What’s wrong? Do I have something on my face?” you asked, palming your cheeks and forehead.
“No, it’s just that I was thinking,” the boy opened a big smile and you can’t help but mirror his action “You are really pretty."
That stuck to your head in a way that even now, on your way back from your aunt’s house, Taeyong could pinpoint there was something on your mind. He was on the passenger seat, looking at you curiously, and you could feel his stare.
“Spill it,” you say without taking your eyes off the road.
“Oh? Nothing. Just thinking about how I haven’t seen you since Tuesday.” he hums to an unfamiliar song and you frown “You’ll drop me first, right?”
“Sure. I need to give Johnny’s car back since you don’t have your own.”
“You should be the one with a car, I don’t even have a license.”
You scoff and he turns the radio on. You lived too far from your campus, so bringing your car with you wasn’t an option and Taeyong, being the useless cousin you think he is, doesn’t know how to drive. Johnny is nice enough to lend you his car once in a while. Taeyong said he would only need the car at night, so he didn’t mind if you took it today. It was a relief because going to your Aunt’s by bus was hell.
“Since you’ll drop me first, do you want to spend the night? It will be late to go home by yourself.”
“It’s 6:45, Taeyong. I’ve walked back to the dorms later than that.”
“We’re having a movie night. Maybe you can finally convince us to watch High School Musical.” he lifts his eyebrows suggestively.
“You know I always lose, everyone hates it.”
“Not everyone,” he emphasizes, but you shrug.
“I'll stay if you buy us pizza.”
“Deal.”
The rest of the ride is quiet. Taeyong falls asleep and you turn off the radio to avoid getting too distracted by the music. You have a license, but it doesn’t mean you are a confident driver.
Around thirty minutes later, you park Johnny’s car and go inside the big house with your cousin. Yuta was sprawled on the couch, reading a book and a guy you knew as Jungwoo was sleeping on the armchair. You could hear faint sounds coming from upstairs and you guessed it was Mark playing guitar. Or maybe Donghyuck’s screams while playing games, you weren’t sure.
Taeyong guides you to the kitchen and you find Taeil eating a bowl of something you couldn’t really guess what it was.
“Hyung, that’s my cousin.” Taeyong gets closer to the boy and whispers “She is going to help us with operation Osaka.”
“If you want to keep it a secret, maybe you shouldn’t call it operation Osaka.” the eldest jokes and you nod in agreement.
“Isn’t it frustrating living with Taeyong? He is so slow sometimes.” you sigh and hand your phone to your cousin. “I’m getting hungry.”
Taeyong tricked you into thinking that there was a movie night previously arranged. He said, however, the nicest things are done unplanned, so he invited the others. Mark and Jungwoo were the first ones to refuse. The first has a date with his girlfriend and Jungwoo is probably just not feeling it. Yuta stayed on the couch reading his book, not minding any of you. Donghyuck probably didn’t even listen to Taeyong, too engrossed in his games. The only ones left were you, Taeil, your cousin, and Johnny, who said would stay for just a while.
“What about Jaehyun?” you asked, bringing the beer cans to the living room. The words left your mouth before you could realize the consequences. You saw Johnny and Taeyong smirking and Yuta taking his eyes off the book and staring at you. “I mean, the more, the merrier.”
“Jaehyunnie has been locked in his room since yesterday. He said something about a project.” Taeil was the one who answered you.
“We shouldn’t bother him, then,” you say handling Yuta a beer and drinking your own.
“Oh, cousin,” Johnny called, making you roll your eyes.
“I’m not your cousin, John-”
“Where were you on Friday?” he smiles at Taeyong and looks back at you.
“You usually have lunch with us,” Taeyong says and proceeds to sip his drink to hide his growing smile.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry about that! I had lunch with someone else.”
“We are aware,” Johnny says not-so-innocently. “A little bird told me you had lunch with Hendery Wong, the hot exchange student.”
“I seriously hate this little bird of yours,” you say motioning your body to look at the TV. “and he suggested we had lunch together only because I was tutoring him.”
“Having lunch with the students it’s not part of a tutor’s job.” Yuta says as he closes his book “Taeil hyung, stop scrolling and choose a movie already!”
“He was just being nice,” you mumble, but Taeyong hears it.
“First Jaehyun, now Hendery? Your standards are too high for your own good.” he whispers playfully and you hit his legs.
Once the three boxes of pizza were opened in front of you and the movie started playing, you let yourself relax on your spot on the floor. You felt your eyes flutter and slowly close. You weren’t a very energetic person, and the previous week seemed to have drained all of your energy. You woke up to someone poking your cheeks.
Johnny was already gone and Taeyong was sleeping beside you. Yuta and Taeil were the only ones paying attention to the movie. You turn your head to see Donghyuck smiling down at you while holding a plate with three slices of pizza.
“Oh, hey, Hyuck,” you say, adjusting yourself. “You can eat it if you want.”
“I ate it already. I’m offering you the opportunity of taking this upstairs and giving it to Jaehyun hyung,” he says placing the plate on your hands and making his way between you and Taeyong. “You should also take a beer or two with you.”
“Why don’t you take it?”
“Shhhh.” you hear an annoyed Yuta.
After exchanging glances and engaging in a silent fight with Donghyuck, you stand up and go straight to the kitchen to grab two cans of beer. Why were you listening to him? Why was your heart beating faster the closer you got to the staircase? What if Jaehyun was asleep? Or, maybe, he just wanted to be alone. You pondered if you should leave the food at his doorstep, knock the door, and run back to the living room.
But why were you so afraid to knock on a simple door? Because it was Jaehyun’s.
Even though he had acknowledged that you were friends and, now, you could manage to hold a proper conversation with him, you couldn’t help but stay very conscious about your own words and actions. What if Jaehyun realized you were actually very awkward and not interesting? Or worse, he could find out about your crush and distance himself from you. Then, all your efforts to build a friendship will be in vain.
You were overthinking about knocking a door. Jaehyun will make you go insane.
When you are about to knock, you see one of the doors in the hall opening and Jaehyun getting out. He looks taken aback at first by the sight of you in front of his door, trying to hold a plate and two cans of beer. But then, he smiles and reaches to grab the cans from your arms.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were here.”
“Taeyong invited me for a movie night.”
“And what about these?” he asks, lifting the beers and pointing his chin at the plate you were holding.
“Oh, these are for you. Taeil said you didn’t leave your room the whole day.”
“Yeah, I’m still fixing that project from Tuesday.” he moves to open his bedroom door and you glance at the amount of paper, glue, and materials you couldn’t even name. It was a mess. “I would invite you in, but I don’t think I can fit anyone else in here.”
“Oh my God, Jaehyun.” you widen your eyes and he feels his ears getting hot from embarrassment “Do you need help? I can start cleaning…”
“No, no, please,” the boy says, placing the beers somewhere and taking the plate of pizza off your hands “Go back to watch the movie.”
“You seriously need help.” you look around once again and then turn your gaze back at his face “Plus, the movie is not that fun.”
And that’s how you spend the next few hours with him. While he took a break to eat the things you brought, you started separating garbage from the things Jaehyun would actually use. Just by finishing that, he got back half of his room. Then, once the boy went back to the project, he gave you some little tasks like cutting some paper squares and handing him utensils. Jaehyun even made sure to explain to you what you were doing and talked about his project. Most of the time you just nodded in agreement, not really understanding what he said. What you did get was that the model he was building represented 40% of his grade. If you were him, you would be freaking out too.
“I had to rebuild the whole thing except for these details,” he says, pointing to one of the benches on your hand.
“And your group didn’t help with anything?” you ask, extending your open hand for him to get another tree.
“I wouldn’t let Naeun get close to this again. If she touches it, I might actually kill her.” Jaehyun mumbles while using tweezers to glue the tree on his project. He had his lips puckered, focusing on his task.
You stay silent for a moment, watching the boy cautiously finishing the details of his work. Now that you were focused on analyzing his figure, you perceived how tired Jaehyun must be. His tousled hair looked dirty and his eyes were adorned by eyebags and dark circles. You saw him yawning frequently and sometimes you could see him batting his eyelashes swiftly, to whisk away his sleepiness.
“Did you sleep last night?” you ask, giving him the last tree that was on your hand.
“Not really.”
“Shouldn’t you go to sleep, then?”
“I will once I finish my next assignment.” he says, motioning to grab a brush that was behind him “Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s hard not too when you look like a panda,” you answer and he smiles, but doesn’t answer. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘next assignment’?”
“I need to hand in an essay on Monday.” he mumbles, placing the last tree next to the main building of the model “But it’s almost ready, I just need to proofread it.”
“I can proofread it for you. Where is it?” you ask standing up and looking around.
“It’s fine, sit down.” he holds your hand and pulls it in his direction “You’ve helped a lot already.”
“The only thing I did was stare and hold some trees,” you say quietly, looking at his fingers holding your hands.
“You helped with the grass. The grass was important.” he smiles and pulls you with more strength now “Come on, sit down. You also helped me to not fall asleep, that’s important.”
“You know that you are too tired to proofread your essay properly, right?” you say sitting beside him again. “Plus, I’m one of the tutors of Academic Writing. Proofreading is what I do the most.”
“If I promise to go to sleep and finish my essay tomorrow, will you shut up?”
“Why can’t I proofread it for you?” you tilt your head to the side.
“You’re smarter than me, you’ll see my dumb mistakes,” he mutters and you smile at him.
“We all make dumb mistakes, Jaehyun.” you sigh and start gathering the unused utensils around you “Fine, at least let me help you organize this mess.”
Yuta is the one that comes and takes you out of your bubble. Jaehyun was giving his model the final touches while you were placing one of his books back to the shelf. The elder knocked on the door and entered before Jaehyun could answer it.
“Jae, are you- oh!” Yuta looks at you surprised “I didn’t know you were here. We thought you left before the movie ended.”
“She was helping me.” Jaehyun says without looking at his friend “Hyung, can you take the dishes downstairs for us, please?”
“Yeah…” the other boy exchanges glances between the both of you before leaving and kindly takes the plate and the two empty cans downstairs with him.
“You take your phone out of your pocket and surprise yourself with the time. “I should get going, it’s getting late.”
“How will you go back?” he asks standing up from his spot on the floor and stretching his arms.
“It’s only a 15-minute walk, I’m used to it.” Before you can reach the door, Jaehyun holds your arm and pulls you to his side.
“Look at the floor, you were about to step on the scissors.” he scolds you while you just stare at his facial features. How can he manage to look gorgeous and a complete mess at the same time? “Taeyong is going with you, right?”
“Taeyong is probably asleep by now.” you chuckle and try to avoid any other sharp utensil on the floor.
“You’re going home alone? At this time?” he follows you to the hall and stops at his door frame.
“What do you want me to do? Sleep here?” you question him playfully.
“Well, you slept here last week. I wouldn’t mind sharing my bed. Again.”
And then, you swear you see him smirking.
“Are you flirting with me?” you blurt out and pretend to sound uninterested.
“I might be.”
You feel your cheeks burning and avoid meeting his gaze.
“You are really shameless, aren’t you?”
“I was just kidding, silly.” he laughs and pats your head “I’m actually offering to walk you home.”
You quickly turn your head to meet his face. “No, I won’t accept your company.”
“Why?” he says putting a hand on his chest soundings genuinely offended “I was kidding, I’m not flirting with you-”
“I don’t know how to feel about this,” you mumble, quite offended this time “I guess I should say thank you?” you giggle and stop at the top of the staircase “I appreciate your offer, but you look really, really tired. Just go to sleep before you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation.”
Instinctively, you cup his cheeks on your hands and look at him seriously “Please. Go. To. Sleep.” you take your hands out of his face, leaving Jaehyun’s cheeks numb and his ears, red.
“It’s dangerous for you to walk alone at night.” he stutters, a bit flustered from your sudden affectionate touch.
Before you realized, you were already on the ground floor. Donghyuck was cuddling Taeil, both asleep on the floor.
“And you’re suggesting you will protect me if something happens?” you whisper passing by the two of them in the living room “You can barely keep your eyes open. I’ll be more worried about you walking back here alone. No way.”
“I told you to stop worrying about me.” he gets closer to you just to hold the doorknob, stopping you from opening it.
“Then you shouldn’t worry about me either.” you take his hand from the handle and open it.
“You ladies keep complaining about the death of chivalry,” he says leaning on the door frame “but here you are, ignoring my attempts.”
“Oh, you’re such a gentleman.” you mock him and he shakes his head smiling. “Goodbye, Jaehyun.”
“Text me as soon as you get home,” he shouts to make sure you listen.
And you did. Your cheeks blushed at his words and you couldn’t dare to look back, but if you did, you would see Jaehyun standing still in front of the house, and only getting in once your figure was out of frame.
The boy has always admired you, even though you only small-talked before. He found you smart and it was funny watching you and Johnny bickering all the time. The morning you woke up beside him was clearly a shock. Jaehyun didn’t know you well enough to share a bed with you, but, somehow, he felt that was the beginning of your new friendship.
Once he got inside, he saw Donghyuck whining while Taeil pushed him away.
“Get off me, Donghyuck.”
“I’m gonna make some ramyeon, do you want it?” Jaehyun asks while walking past them.
The youngest stands up and follows Jaehyun to the kitchen. Taeil takes advantage of this and quickly goes to his room, not even saying goodbye to the other two.
“What happened upstairs?” the younger had a mischievous grin on his face.
Jaehyun prefers to ignore Donghyuck as he doesn’t understand the question. “Do you want ramyeon or not?”
“Yeah, put on a pack for me” he takes three packs from the cabinet and throws them on the kitchen counter while Jahyun fills a pan with water. “What happened after Y/N went upstairs to give you some food?”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’m omniscient.” he uses a sarcastic tone, “I told her to take that to you, being the caring dongsaeng I am, obviously.”
“Your jokes are getting funnier each day.” Jaehyun deadpans and Donghyuck smiles. “Nothing happened.”
“I saw her leaving just now and it’s almost two…” the younger uses a suggestive tone, making Jaehyun roll his eyes.
“She was helping me with my project,” he answers simply, making the boy groan.
“That bitch is slow as fuck.” he mumbles and Jaehyun smiles.
“I talked to Johnny about it and, now, I’ll ask you too,” he says after getting three eggs from the fridge. “Stop putting her in uncomfortable situations. The other day, Johnny invited me to dinner and when I got there, she looked like she would collapse at any moment.”
“She spent four hours watching you cutting paper, do you think she really feels uncomfortable around you?” he shrugs and continues “Plus, you both seem to be a lot closer. Text me when you get home? You don’t even open our messages.”
Jaehyun’s ears start getting red while he faces the younger boy “How do you- Yah, Donghyuck, you shouldn’t be eavesdropping.”
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“Do you remember that project I did three weeks ago?” Jaehyun says excitedly.
Today was Friday, one of the only week-days you could see your friends - at least the ones who didn’t live with you or you didn’t share classes with. At the moment, Jiwoo is sitting next to you in the cafeteria, Johnny in front of her and Taeyong nowhere to be seen. Jaehyun appeared now, taking the other seat beside you.
“The one with the building and the trees?” you ask, taking a bite of your apple pie.
“He is an architecture student, every project involves buildings and trees” Johnny snickers and Jaehyun shows him his tongue.
“Not every project.” the boy takes a paper out of his bag and places it on the table, right beside you. “We got the grades today. It got 3.5 out of 4.” he flashes you a smile and you swallow your food harshly.
“That’s amazing!” you cheer on him, taking a closer look at the paper. “Is there any feedback about the grass? I was the one who made it,” you say the last part leaning on Jiwoo, who didn’t give you much attention.
“He didn’t mention the grass specifically,” Jaehyun smiles at how focused you were on the feedback note on your hand “But I can assure you it was exquisitely applied.”
“Wow, Jae’s using big words,” Taeyong appears behind you, greeting everyone and giving you a hug.
“You should celebrate it,” you say, giving his feedback note back.
“And what type of celebration would you recommend me, miss?” he playfully asks, stealing one of Taeyong’s fries without the older seeing.
“She will give you the WORST recommendations,” Jiwoo interferes before you even open your mouth “There is a professor that haunts Y/N and every assignment she finishes, her celebration is sleeping.”
“Or eating ice cream and then, sleeping,” Taeyong says with his mouth full of food.
“Last year, we went to the movie theater to celebrate the end of midterms and she slept before the movie had even started,” your roommate says, making everyone laugh.
“We’re going to the club tonight, Jae.” Johnny says and turns his head to Jiwoo “You’re coming, right?”
“I don’t know, I have to read some of Hendery’s notes and-” you start and Johnny interrupts you.
“Yeah, yeah, you rarely come. I was asking Jiwoo.”
You love seeing your friends happy, especially when, somehow, you are a part of it. However, since that double date - or friendly dinner, whatever helps you sleep at night - you couldn’t help but feel jealous. Your great friends were dating each other (they didn’t admit it yet, but it wasn’t really needed) and you couldn’t help but feel neglected. Jiwoo started to spend more time at Johnny’s than at your dorm, being considerate as you have already walked in when they were in a heavy make-out session.
“Yeah, sure,” she answers tucking her hair behind her ear. You gag on her action and she hits your shoulder.
“Movie theater is a good option though,” Jaehyun says bringing your attention back to him. “There are some new movies that seem nice.”
“Did you see they released a new one that’s based on a book?” you turn your whole body on the chair to face the boy beside you. “The book is so good. It’s a thriller and it’s narrated in the first person, so you only see the story from the character’s point of view. And, then, she starts going insane…”
“Is it that book you have been begging me to read?” Taeyong asks and you nod furiously.
“I really wanna watch this movie,” you add excitedly
“Let’s watch it then,” he suggests looking at you and smiles when he sees your blushing cheeks. “All of us, I mean. To celebrate my temporary freedom from that class.” he clears his throat and looks at the other at the table.
“I’m in, when do you wanna go?”
Taeyong asks, eating one of his fries. Johnny and Jiwoo simultaneously try to kick his ankle from under the table but end up kicking themselves instead.
“What about today after class? We can get the evening session,” he asks, watching your reaction from the corner of his eyes.
“I’ll have to get ready for the club, you know,,” Johnny says quickly and looks at Taeyong expectantly, but your cousin is still focused on his food.
“I have to run some errands too,” Jiwoo adds “But I’m sure Y/N is free. Her classes end at 3p.m!”
“I really wanted to,” you start and your frustrated tone gives away you’re not going to make it “but as I said, need to read some essays from the students and prepare some notes to help Hendery. Sorry.”
“You can do it during the weekend,” Jiwoo says, nudging your side.
“Stop hitting me!” you whisper to her.
“Well, I’m free.” Taeyong lifts his head and smiles at Jaehyun “We can go together, then.”
“Taeyong, won’t you come to the club with us tonight?” Johnny asks the other boy, giving him a knowing look.
“No, I told you they banned from that-” he grunts when Johnny successfully kicks his ankle from under the table. “Oh, right, yeah, I totally forgot about that. Sorry, I won’t make it.”
“Are you sure you can’t come, Y/N?” he asks you again and you feel Jiwoo elbowing your ribs once again.
“Stupid bitch, he’s asking you on a date,” she whispers and you silently ask her to stop.
“Guess I’ll celebrate at the club then. You should come too, at least for an hour.” he says poking your arm “You helped me finish it. It’s practically your project too.”
“If you don’t accept Jaehyun’s invitation right now,” Jiwoo leans to whisper in your ear, “I’ll lock our room and you’ll have to sleep on the hallway for the rest of the weekend.”
“I have the key too, you know,” you whisper back.
“I wanna see you try to open the door with the drawer blocking it.” She sits back and happily, goes back to talk to Johnny.
What if she was reading everything wrong? If Jaehyun wanted to go on a date, he would promptly ask you. Everyone knows how straightforward the boy can be. However, he invited everyone. You did want to say yes, but there were so many things to be done. Deep down, you knew it was just an excuse. You didn’t want to fool yourself into thinking that the boy’s invitation meant something more than just watching a movie. Still, he was your friend, how could you disappoint a friend who worked so hard and deserved to celebrate.
“I guess I can do my assignments tomorrow,” you lean closer to Jaehyun and say in a low tone “Let’s go to the movies.”
“Are you sure?” he questions furrowing his brows.
“Yes! Don’t worry.”
“Okay,” he nods and rubs your back. "Just don’t forget to text me when your last class is finished.”
“I will.”
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“How did you like it?” Jaehyun asked you on your way out to the theatre, his arms around your shoulders.
“It was fine,” you answer, slightly nervous by the sudden proximity.
Truthfully, you had a hard time focusing on the movie. How could you when your hands were constantly meeting when both of you went to grab a handful of popcorn or when he laid his head on your shoulder to take a short nap? It was especially hard to pay attention to the movie when he started playing with your hand that was on the armrest during the last twenty minutes.
“It was kinda boring,” he says, guiding you to the exit and adding a distance between both of you once you reach the street. “I didn’t feel the thrill at all.”
“Well, I did,” you mumble, thinking about everything that happened but the movie itself “I’m just disappointed by the fact that this has nothing to do with the book. Not even the plot is the same.”
“The movie was your idea and it was terrible.” he playfully nudges you and you gasp, pretending to be offended “I’m afraid of how tedious the book must be.”
“Well, we could have watched any other movie. You didn’t need to choose that one.”
“But you wanted to watch it.” he pouts and you can feel your heart pounding on your throat. “Anyways, it’s almost seven now. If you get ready fast enough, we can get a ride for the club.”
“And who says I’m going to the club?” you raise an eyebrow and cross your arms around your chest.
“I am.” he takes your hand in his and hushes you to walk faster.
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“Yuta’s birthday is this Saturday, don’t forget.” Taeyong reminds you before hanging up.
How can you forget since this is all he has been talking about this week? You started to regret helping your cousin with the surprise party considering the amount of work you had on your hands. You should have seen this coming. You spent three peaceful weeks without any new responsibilities. Suddenly, all your professors decide to schedule assignments and exams for this week. You were on the verge of killing anyone who crossed your path until someone really did.
“You’ll get wrinkles if you don’t stop frowning,” Jaehyun said beside you.
“Where did you come from?” you asked, slightly annoying for getting startled by his sudden presence.
“I was laying down right there,” he pointed to the green area on your right side “when I saw you getting out of your class.”
“Don’t you have classes? How come you are always doing nothing when we meet on campus?” you adjusted the books that were on your arms and Jaehyun noticed.
“No, I don’t have classes,” he said, taking the books from your hold “I work my ass off on those projects because it’s fun. Why are you so irritable today? Where are you going?”
“Library, I need to return them,” you say without complaining and appreciating your friend’s gesture. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m just exhausted,” you said under your breath, but Jaehyun listened and used his free arm to embrace your shoulders to bring you closer.
“You know you owe me, right?” he whispered close to your ear and smiled at your flustered state.
“Uh?” you turned your head to meet his face and held your breath when you saw he wasn’t many inches away from you.
Jaehyun suspected about your behavior even before you became friends. You weren’t the most subtle person in the world, so it didn’t take him long to realize you had a tiny crush on him and got embarrassed every time he got more physical or playfully flirted with you. He found it awfully cute when you gave him the same stunned expression you are wearing right now: lips parted, wide eyes, and hot cheeks.
“You owe me a movie date.”
“A what?” you said louder than necessary, avoiding his gaze, and he laughs.
“A movie day,” he corrected, chuckling while you sighed.
“I don’t owe you any date or whatever,” you mumbled taking his arms off your shoulders “Stop with the frat boy behavior, I don’t like it when you do this.”
“Do what?” he asked innocently, smiling when you scowled at him and resumed your walk to the library “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Plus, I am a frat boy.”
“I am aware of it,” you said in disdain. “Why would I owe you a movie day?”
“Don’t you remember that terrible movie we watched together last month? I deserve compensation,” he said reaching your side and placing his arms back on your shoulders.
“You were the one who insisted on paying for my tickets. Do you want me to pay you back?” you asked genuinely and Jaehyun shook his head quickly.
“What? No! Of course not, silly.” he took off his arm from your shoulder just to flick your forehead “I said you owe me a movie, not money.”
“So you wanna go out this week? I’m sorry I can’t-” you guessed and he shook his head again, stopping you.
“You can come over and we watch it together. A little bird told me…”
“What does that frat house of yours have with little birds? Oh my God you guys really love gossiping, don’t you?” you scoff, and Jaehyun laughs.
“Johnny told me you love High School Musical.”
“Yeah, it’s a childhood classic.”
“Me too.” you swiftly turned your head to him as you heard him say “I like High School Musical too. Let’s watch it on Friday.”
“Are you kidding me?” you asked in disbelief.
“I’m not. You can come over after you finish your assignments. A High School Musical marathon will be waiting for you.” Jaehyun slowed down his pace as he saw the library entrance “You can’t say no, you owe me.”
And that’s how you ended up in Jaehyun’s bedroom on a Friday night.
He is currently in the kitchen getting popcorn and drinks ready while you are preparing the room for the High School Musical marathon. You place Jaehyun’s laptop on the bedside table and search for some blankets to cover the bedroom floor. You spent three whole days wondering if it was really a good idea to come over and watch movies with Jaehyun. You knew it wasn’t good for your heart, especially when you were already falling for him - for nobody’s surprise.
You have to keep reminding yourself that you are just friends and you should be happy about it. Being friends it’s better than strangers, isn’t it? But there is something strangely familiar with the way he places his arms around your shoulders and invites you over, on a Friday night, just to watch childish movies. There is a knock on the door and you stand up to open it, thinking that it must be Jaehyun with his hands full, but you see your cousin.
“Hey, Jae- pumpkin?” Taeyong tilts his head to the side looking puzzled “I didn’t know you were here.”
“Yeah, Jaehyun invited me to watch the High School Musical movies with him.” you shrug. “Do you wanna come in? There’s space for you.”
“Oh, no, no. I was just- nevermind.” Taeyong was about to joke about how you too seemed like a couple, but he decides that it’s better if you keep your good mood. “The boys are going out to celebrate Yuta’s birthday.” he finishes and you frown.
“But the party…” you whisper and he chuckles.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s kind of our tradition to celebrate our birthdays the day before too. Hyuck calls it a farewell party.”
“Did you tell them about tomorrow?”
“Not yet. I’ll tell them in the morning,” he says and rubs his hands on his back pockets
“Aren’t you going with them?”
“No, I have to stop you and Jaehyun from doing funny business,” he lets out and you hit his shoulder “Stop hitting me! I’m kidding. Doyoung is arriving late at night so I’ll stay to help him sneak in.”
“Won’t they suspect it?”
“Don’t worry, I’m a good actor,” he says patting your head “Well, enjoy your date.”
“This is not a date!” you scream as he goes away, leaving you alone.
Downstairs, Mark, Johnny, Donghyuck, and Yuta are seated in the living room, waiting for Taeil. Taeyong glances at the kitchen and sees Jaehyun too engrossed in his task, so he takes it as an opportunity and runs to his friends.
“Do you know who’s upstairs?” he whispers sitting beside Johnny.
“Taeil hyung?” Mark questions and Donghyuck slaps the back of his neck.
“Y/N.”
The two younger guys gasp and Yuta takes his eyes off his phone screen, paying attention to his friends.
“That asshole said he had an important arrangement,” Yuta whispers in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you lied too, Taeyong.”
“I’m telling you the truth! I really need to finish an important report.” he lies “This upcoming week is being so hectic. I’m really sorry, Yuta.”
“The boy’s getting his dick wet, I would say it is very important,” Johnny giggles and Taeyong makes a face.
“She’s my cousin, man.”
“I doubt it.” Donghyuck speaks up “I bet 10 bucks nothing will happen. That chick is dumb.”
“Yo, I think Jaehyun hyung will take it to the next level” Mark replies back.
“Make it 15,” Yuta intervenes “He’ll get some tonight.”
“20 on Hyuck,” Johnny says “He will kiss her, she will freak out and won’t look at his face for the next three weeks.”
“How much are you betting, Mark?” Donghyuck asks the older and Taeyong stands up to flick the youngest’s forehead.
“Stop betting on my cousin’s sex life.”
They hear a thud is coming from upstairs and everyone looks up. A faint “are you okay?” is heard and several seconds later, Taeil is in the living room with the others.
“Yah, Taeyong, why was your cousin climbing on Jaehyun’s closet?” the oldest says chuckling. “She fell, but I think she’s fine.”
“I told you, she’s dumb” Donghyuck mocks.
A few minutes later, everyone is gone and the only ones in the house are Taeyong, you, and Jaehyun. Differently from you, the latter doesn’t even spare a glance at Taeyong when he asks if he could join your movie night. The younger just grins and sends him a middle finger.
Different from what his roommates expected, Jaehyun planned this movie night with absolutely no other intention rather than spending some quality time with you. He saw your distressed state and it hurt him to know he could do nothing to help you with your exams. The least he could do was try to comfort you with food, as a good friend would.
“Y/N, what are you doing?” he asks, placing the popcorn bucket and the drinks on his writing desk and going straight to your direction. You are standing on his swivel chair, on your toes, trying to reach the comforter that was on the top shelf of his closet.
“I’m… almost…” you touch the cloth at the same time Jaehyun holds your waist. His hands were gripping your sides, securing you in place.
“Get this before you fall.” the boy warns you, squeezing you gently.
“I already fell.” you pull the comforter and it hits the ground. Jaehyun extends his hand for you to take it. “Taeil helped me, though.”
“Did you get hurt?” he holds your face in his hands, looking at you attentively and it doesn’t fail to make you flustered.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” you push his hands, avoiding his gaze. “Let’s start!”
Both of you sit down against the bed and you press play on the movie. Once the movie started, you could feel your heart getting warmer, memories from your childhood days flooding your mind as you still remembered some of the characters’ lines and, mostly, all the songs lyrics. You refrain yourself from singing the first three songs, embarrassed by Jaehyun’s presence, but once you hit the middle of the first movie, both of you were already making duos and you even stand up to perform ‘When There Was Me and You” making Jaehyun cackle as you use one of his middle school pictures as a fake Troy Bolton poster.
You wake up against Jaehyun’s chest feeling your back sore from the position. Your butt is numb and your legs were tangled in his. The boy has one arm around your body while the other is resting on your thigh. The laptop screen is black and you guess it has turned off. You lift your head to find Jaehyun’s head hanging back, resting on the bed’s mattress. It will certainly cause him a stiff neck. You smoothly remove yourself from his hold and stretch out as you stand up. You place the empty popcorn bucket on Jaehyun’s desk and close his laptop. You couldn’t find your phone, but from his window, you could see it was really dark outside. You had to go back to your dorm, but you couldn’t leave your friend laying down like that.
“Jaehyun,” you whisper “Jae, wake up.” you poke his face. “You’ll get hurt if you keep sleeping in this position.”
Your hands find his hair and softly pats his head. Jaehyun was warm, soft, and smelled so good.
“Jae, wake up, I can’t carry you to bed.” You keep moving one of your hands against his hair while the other is caressing his face until you see his eyes fluttering open. He groans as he moves his neck and you smile softly.
“What time is it, babe?” his husky voice and the sudden nickname catch you off guard.
“Uh… It’s late.” you answer moving away from him “I just woke you up to tell you to go to bed. You’ll hurt your neck.”
“Are you leaving?” he asks with his eyes barely open.
“Yeah, I need to go. You can keep sleeping, though.”
You start standing up and searching for your shoes, but Jaehyun presses himself against your back, enveloping you in a hug.
“No, don’t go. It’s dangerous,” he whispers in your ears and rests his forehead on the crook of your neck, making you freeze.
“I need to go,” you try to take his arms off you, only for him to hold you tighter. “Jaehyun, stop,” you use your most serious tone, but he pretends not to listen. “You’re such a child.”
“Stay the night. I’m too tired to walk you back to your dorm” he lifts his head to look at your side profile “and I won’t let you go alone.”
“I’ve walked alone so many times before…” you mumble and he buries his face on your neck again.
“Now you have me, you don’t have to walk alone again.”
You feel your heart beating faster at his words. If you weren’t already nervous enough with his sudden physical affection, his words completed the job of making your heart rate skyrocket. You keep on the silent battle to try to free yourself from his grasp and you feel him smirking against your skin.
“You know I’m stronger, babe.” There it goes, the damn nickname again.
“Fine, fine.” you give in, not bearing the current situation anymore “If it means you’ll let go of me, I’ll stay.”
He instantly releases you and pats your head. You start gathering your belongings, finding your purse and your shoes, but still looking for your phone.
“I’ll find it tomorrow,” you say to yourself and look at Jaehyun getting some clothes from his closet “Well, goodnight, then” you raise your hand and wave goodbye, but he catches your arm before you can turn to leave.
“Where are you going? You said you’re staying,” he asks genuinely confused.
“To Taeyong’s bedroom,” you answer as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.
“That’s- why-” he frowns and gets closer to you “That’s not what I meant when I asked for you to stay.”
“What do you-”
“I asked you to sleep here.”
“Yeah, Jaehyun, I heard it. I’m staying in the house tonight.”
“With me.”
You gulp at his words. You definitely don’t like this game he was playing with you. You could bear the daily messages and the playful pickup lines, but this was going over the line. Why does he always insist on walking you to your dorm or buy two cupcakes at the cafeteria just to give you one because he knows it’s your favorite? Why invite you to watch childish movies with you on a Friday night when he can just go out with his friends and have fun? Why is he always giving you sudden hugs or holding your hands? Why would he call you ‘babe’? Does he know you like him? Is he trying to prove a point? You aren’t sure what this is, but you are seriously afraid of getting hurt.
“Sleep here with me. We shared a bed before, I don’t mind doing it again,” he continues, bringing your attention back to him.
“I asked you to stop doing this,” you pull your arm from his hold and walk two steps back.
“I’m not doing anything-”
“This behavior. Stop acting like this.” you repeat raising your voice a little bit “Quit playing with me.”
“What are you saying? I’m not playing with you!” he reaches for your hand again, but you deflect.
“Stop flirting with people if you don’t mean it.”
Your voice is stern and you see Jaehyun adjusting his posture.
“Who says I’m flirting with you?” he regrets what he said as soon as he sees your disappointed expression.
Why would you feel disappointed when this is exactly the answer you were expecting? It wasn’t the answer you wanted, though, and deep down you knew it. Your anger leaves your body as sadness takes over, but you manage to smile.
“I’m glad I haven’t misread your actions then. We’re just good friends.”
Jaehyun doesn’t understand why his heart clenched at your words. They were completely true: you were nothing but good friends. He doesn’t have any feelings beyond friendship towards you. Or does he?
“Just don’t go bother your cousin, he must be asleep,”  he clears his throat and hands you a pair of sweatpants and a large t-shirt “There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom’s cabinet, you can get it.”
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You were thankful for being able to talk to Jaehyun like the conversation from the night before didn’t happen. You woke up alone on his bed. He was folding the blankets you left on the floor last night and flashed you a smile when he saw you awake. You realized the awkwardness was gone when he started cracking jokes with you. Jaehyun was treating you the same as before and you decided to forget about the conversation you had the night before.  It was like a silent agreement to not mention the sexual tension that both of you decided to ignore.
Once you went downstairs, you had an eventful breakfast though. Both of you found out your friends made a bet on your sexual life. Mark and Yuta believed you would have sex while Johnny and Haechan believed you were too shy to try something with Jaehyun. You were sure your cousin was in the middle of this, even though no one mentioned his name. Taeyong stayed too quiet during the whole breakfast for your liking. Jaehyun almost killed Donghyuck and Mark but said nothing to Johnny or Yuta because he knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against the older ones.
You went back to your dorm to change your clothes and get all of the things for the party Taeyong was hiding from Yuta. The rest of the day went smoothly once all of the boys were warned about the surprise party. The plan was to keep Yuta away until you guys got everything ready by the evening. You went back to their house with Jiwoo, who was glad to help Taeyong and Donghyuck decorating the house while you, Taeil, and Doyoung were preparing the food.
Donghyuck was sulking the entire time for not being warned beforehand about the party, calling your decoration plain and boring. After you found out it was him who started the whole bet thing, you just wanted to kick his face. However, you decided to do it after Yuta’s birthday, just to avoid a commotion.
One of Yuta’s great friends, Sicheng, was, indeed, coming for his birthday and everyone was really excited for his reaction. Even though he could only spend this weekend with his friend.
“He was supposed to arrive with me,” Doyoung explains to you “I was going to drive to the airport and bring him here with me, but his flight got delayed so he will arrive at 1 pm.”
“And he will leave on Sunday?” you ask, handing him the spatula.
“Unfortunately.”
“He said to me he has exams on Tuesday,” Taeil completes “ And his birthday is two days after Yuta’s, he probably wants to spend it with his family.”
“Well, I hope he can at least enjoy his time around.”
The party was supposed to start at 5 pm, so everyone was running against the clock. At 1, Doyoung left you and Taeil in the kitchen to go pick up Sicheng at the airport and by 4, everything was ready, the guests arriving for the party. Taeyong, being the one of the only ones with a suite, kindly let you and Jiwoo use his room to get ready. Your roommate brought both of your clothes with her, and you had to admit you should have expected her to choose something you wouldn’t like.
“I just asked you to grab pants and a shirt!” you complain to her with your clothes in hand.
“And I did!” she uses her mascara to point at you “You act like those clothes aren’t yours. I took them from your drawers!”
“I know they are mine but-”
“No buts,” she gets out of Taeyong’s bathroom to face you. “I’m tired of watching you wearing rags when you have nice clothes. This is a party, woman, you need to show what you came here for.”
“I know, I just- This is…” you look at the skinny pants on your hands, different from the ones you’re used to wearing “so tight. I’ll get all…”
“All the attention, because it will hug you in all the right places. Come on” she whines and you smile at her. She was right.
You were so used to puttin on the same set of jeans and loose t-shirts everyday. You deserved to look good once in a while. Although your bottom was tight, your friends chose a loose long sleeve shirt for you to use, which you silently thanked her for. The weather was starting to get chilly, and you are the type who gets cold easily.
When you were both ready, you went downstairs to see a considerable number of people. Yuta seemed to be really popular in University. It isn’t really shocking though, since it is known how kind and polite the boy is.
When Yuta arrives, everyone screams ‘surprise!’ and starts singing the happy birthday song, he freezes. It takes him a moment to absorb the whole situation, especially when he sees Doyoung and Sicheng holding his cake.
“I wanted to make something special because it’s your last year,” Taeyong says hugging the guy “I know you will graduate soon, so I want you to miss us when you’re gone.”
“Thank you so much, guys!” he says after blowing the candles. “OH, WAIT. Can we light up some other candles? Winwin’s birthday is in two days, let’s sing for him too!”
That is how you spend the evening. It’s different from what you are used to when it comes to parties and this frat house. Not only the time of the day, but everything seems impersonal, cold. Now, watching these boys hanging out together, you start to understand why your cousin loves them so much: they are his family.
If the atmosphere is different, their craziness is the same. You were trying to hold a proper conversation with Mark’s girlfriend, Doyoung and Jungwoo when Donghyuck dragged you to one of his drinking games. He makes sure that you never win so you can take enough shots of vodka to make you feel dizzy.
When you are trying to sober up by eating some of the cupcakes you baked a couple of hours before, it’s Jiwoo’s time to drag you out of the kitchen and place you in a circle in the living room. With both of your hands occupied and your mouth full of icing, you watch Johnny putting on a show just to officially ask your roommate to be his girlfriend. Everyone cheered loudly for them, you including. You are glad that your friends found each other, even though it also means that now they will do everything together, including annoying you.
You are still a little bit too happy when Jaehyun comes to you and hands you a bottle of beer. You haven’t talked to him until then, but it wasn’t like you were avoiding him. Actually, you were preventing yourself from being teased by your friends.
“Wow you look…” he stops for a moment to check you out while sipping his drink.
“What? Too much, right?” you ask, starting to feel self-conscious. "I told Jiwoo…”
“No, your pants look great on you.” he stops you by pointing at you “I was just trying to find the right words. I don’t want to sound like a frat boy, since you keep asking me not to.”
You lower your head and lean on the kitchen counter. So he didn’t forget the previous night conversation.
“I was gonna say that you look hot as fuck,” you can see Jaehyun’s shoes touching yours, warning you that it would be dangerous to look up “and that I was ready to risk our friendship just to make out with you right now.”
You look up and instantly regret your action once you see him up close. Jaehyun traps you between his body and the counter. You feel your heart on your throat and something tingles inside you. You lock eyes with Jaehyun who doesn’t seem to notice your nervousness because he, himself, was dealing with his. Why did he suddenly feel the urge to make a move on you? You are his friend. But friends are not supposed to think about the other in the same way he was thinking about you right now. All he wanted was to kiss you in a way friends should do. He wanted to touch you, he wanted to do things to you that friends definitely shouldn’t do.
“Jaehyun…” the way you whisper his name, so close to his lips, makes him want to kiss you so badly. “I asked you to stop.”
“I’m not doing anything.” he whispers back with his body over yours while looking at your lips.
“I don’t like this game.”
“Good, because I’m not playing.”
You will blame the alcohol later, right now, you are too busy feeling Jaehyun against your lips. He had one hand on the counter behind you while the other circled your waist, bringing you impossibly close to his body. You took no time to place one hand on his neck and the other on his shoulder, helping you to keep your balance. He gently grazes his tongue on your lower lip, asking for permission, and once you grant it, the kiss becomes way rougher than you expected. Jaehyun tastes like beer and cupcakes, bitter and sweet. You smile at the thought of him eating the cupcakes you put so much effort on. His hand that was on your waist, goes down to your lower back at the same time you put both of your arms around his neck and bring him closer. He takes a few steps back, separating you from the counter, just to bring his other hand to your butt, and smirking right after giving it a light squeeze.
He lowers both of his hands to the back of your thighs, suggesting that he wanted to lift you up. Once you lock your legs on his waist, he walks back to the counter, placing you there and staying between your legs. You were feeling hot like you’ve never felt before. Your fingers find their way on the back of his neck, pulling a few strands of hair making him hum in satisfaction.
When you break the kiss, filling your lungs with air, Jaehyun quickly places his lips to your jaw and then your neck. He bites your ear lobe and leaves a trail of wet kisses up to your collarbones. You bring your body closer to him as you feel his lips find a particular sensitive part of your neck. He keeps one of his hands on your lower back while the other massages your thigh.
When Jaehyun tries to find your lips again, you place your lips on his neck, leaving light marks all over it. You feel him tightening his grip on you as your teeth graze his sensitive skin and you smile. When you unconsciously grind your hips against him, the boy feels the urge to rip your clothes off right and then, until your eyes meet again.
Jaehyun looks at your eyes and suddenly he feels his heart clench. He couldn’t be rough with you, he didn’t want to. His heart was beating insanely faster when your lips met for the second time. He slowed down your rhythm, and now, kissing you gently and lovingly, he could properly feel you. Feeling your soft lips against his and your fingers caressing his neck. He could stay like that forever, but forever is a long time to ask for in this house.
Donghyuck enters the kitchen and doesn’t even try to be subtle:
“WOAH, TAEYONG HYUNG, YOUR COUSIN AND JAEHYUN ARE MAKING BABIES IN THE KITCHEN.”
If you wanted to kick his face before, now you were ready to kill him. You quickly detach yourself from Jaehyun’s hold, get off the counter and before leaving the room, you hear Jaehyun say:
“Lee Donghyuck, I’m gonna beat the shit out of you.”
In the living room, no one really seemed to care about the information that your younger friend had just screamed. Only Jiwoo and Taeyong looked at you suspiciously, but you shrug and sit down by his side.
“I’m leaving in five.”
“Why? We’re going to the club after this,” he asks, placing an arm around your shoulder “Are you sure you don’t wanna come?” he raises his eyebrows suggestively before laughing at you.
“I just won't go right now because I don’t want people thinking I’m running away from Jaehyun.”
“You are, though.”
“Yes, I am.”
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In the following week, there was no trace of Jaehyun in your life. Your friends were kind enough to not mention what Hyuck had witnessed in their kitchen and you thanked them for that. On Monday, after your Spanish class, the ones who walked you back to your dorm were Johnny and Jiwoo.
You didn’t know how to feel. You missed Jaehyun, a lot. He became part of your routine and not getting any messages from him or not being able to see his smile every day was making you frustrated. At the same time, you were scared of what that kiss in his kitchen meant. Was it the end of your friendship?
It was getting annoying, to say the least. Your mind would often replay the scenes you were trying too hard to forget in the most inconvenient moments. On Tuesday, one of the students had to call your attention because you spent two whole minutes staring at their assignment instead of actually correcting it.
Only on Wednesday, your routine changed a little bit. You had woken up late, almost missing your first class. Then, Mr. Choi finished the class ten minutes later than usual, making you sprint towards the main building to get to the study room as fast as you could since Lucas would be already waiting for you.
Once you entered the main hall and one of the employees scolded you for running inside the building, you started to walk fast, just to bump into the person you were expecting to meet. You as you lose balance, the books and your phone, that were on your hands, fall to the ground. Hendery was fast enough to hold you by your shoulder, helping you to stand up properly.
“Whoa, I guess you’re falling for me, uh?!” he says mischievously and you laugh.
“I almost fell because of you, not for you,” you answer and he grins. “I’m sorry, Mr. Choi took longer than expected, so I had to run and-”
“It’s okay,” he adds playfully “but you had to make up for me. For waiting, you know.”
“Oh, of course!” you nod and start guiding Hendery to the study room “I’ll stay as long as you need to-”
“I meant we can have lunch together, if you don’t mind,” Hendery reaches for your left arm, indicating you to face him.
“Oh,” you exclaim, holding the doorknob “Well if you insist, we can have lunch together.”
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Taeyong gets startled when a backpack is thrown beside him, and a tray full of food is placed on the table with unnecessary strength. Johnny and Jiwoo stopped their forks midway, all eyes were focused on Jaehyun’s distressed face.
“What?” he asks, sounding ruder than he intended.
“We should be the one asking you what’s going on,” Johnny says before putting a big slice of watermelon inside his mouth.
“I brought watermelons. Do you want some?” Jiwoo slides one of the bowls in Jaehyun’s direction but he refuses it.
“I’m fine.”
“Who annoyed you?” Taeyong asks, carefully stealing one of Johnny’s watermelons and receiving a glare from the other guy.
“It’s nothing,” he mumbles and starts eating the food that was on his tray.
“Isn’t Y/N eating with us?” Jaehyun hears Johnny asking his girlfriend and starts sulking even more.
Jaehyun was sitting with a group of his classmates in the building’s lounge, discussing the next assignment while they waited for their next class. He smiled when he spotted your small figure walking fast around the building, but immediately frowned when he saw you colliding with a male figure. “Jaehyun, what do you think?” one of his classmates called his attention. “Uh?” he asked without taking his eyes off you. “We can start the project on Monday. What do you think?” The guy repeated but Jaehyun didn’t pay attention, too focused on the way the tall guy held your shoulders. “Whoa, I guess you’re falling for me, uh?!” He heard the guy and rolled his eyes at the cheesy pickup line. “Yeah, yeah, sure,” he answered and kept staring at you. When you were about to turn left and enter the study room, the tall guy quickly held your arm and said something to you, which surprised you, Jaehyun assumed by the expression on your face. "Well, if you insist, we can have lunch together.” Now, it was Jaehyun’s turn to be left surprised as he catches what you said. What really made his blood boil is the way the tall guy flashed you a flirty smile and the way you mirrored it. Once both of you entered the study room, he instantly stood up, but his knee hit the coffee table in front of him and spilled water in one of his friends. “What the hell, Jae?” Naeun exclaims, looking at the boy and then follows his gaze. “Sorry, Naeun.” he looks at his friend and helps her gather her things “I wasn’t paying attention.” “What were you thinking?” another classmate sighs and Jaehyun takes a quick glance at the closed door. “Don’t you guys think we should discuss this project in the study room?” He suggests holding his backpack and motioning to the door you had just entered, only to be ignored by the others.
“I’m not sure, she usually messages me about lunch,” Jiwoo says, checking her phone.
“I guess she will be busy,” Jaehyun says, not looking at the others at the table “With that guy, Hendery.”
“Oh, did you see them again? Why are you always the one coming across them?” Taeyong chuckles and pat the boy’s back.
“That’s why you are so annoyed then.” Jiwoo nudges her boyfriend “Yesterday, she told me she misses you, Jaehyun.”
“Apparently, Jiwoo and I bother her a lot when we walk her back to the dorms,” Johnny completes.
The boy doesn’t lift his head from the food, pretending not to listen. But he did, and it kills him to know it because he feels the same. Jaehyun didn’t reach out and he assumed that it was his fault. In his defense, he just wants to give you some space, some time to forget about what you did in Yuta’s party. He felt bad because he knows about the way you feel about him and he never, in a million years, wanted to use your feelings like that. Saying that he is just your friend just to kiss you and raise your expectations when he wasn’t even sure about his feelings was definitely a terrible idea. He wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to talk to him again.
“I was kind of a dick,” he mumbles, and Taeyong sighs. “I know she likes me more than just a friend and I didn’t want to give her hopes when I’m not even sure how I feel. I was drunk, that was stupid of me. She must hate me.”
“I’ve heard the drunk excuse once,” Taeyong whispers, and Johnny holds back his laughter.
“Drunk actions are sober thoughts,” Johnny says.
“You have a steamy makeout session with your friends and you say you don’t know how you feel?” Jiwoo asks, using her fork to tap on his tray, calling his attention to her “Yeah, it must be SO hard to figure out how you feel.“ she huffs in annoyance “You are the densest person I know.”
“Y/N is your friend too,” Taeyong adds.
“She is another d, she is dumb,” the girl replies “At least she knows her feelings.”
“Well, sue me for wanting to give her time and space,” Jahyun retorts and before he can resume his lunch, Taeyong grabs the back of his neck.
“Don’t use her feelings as an excuse. We both know you are the one who wants time and space.”
They leave the boy alone, all of them going to their respective classes, but not too long after, he gets a message from Johnny.
[john - 1:46 p.m]: spanish finishes 30 minutes earlier today
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To say you were surprised to see Jaehyun waiting for you outside your classroom was an understatement. At first, you didn’t see him. Then, you thought you were hallucinating. It was only when he smiled and pulled you into a hug that you felt it was real. Your cheeks were burning while he held you way too tight.
“Sorry for not walking you home this week,” he says with his head buried in your hair “I was… busy.”
“It’s fine, you don’t have to walk me home,” you reply, breaking your hug and you almost miss the slightly frustrated expression on his face. Almost.
“But you know I want to.”
You are glad that he decides to not mention that eventful evening. You know that, at some point, it can come back on you and mess your whole relationship, but, right now, all you cared about was Jaehyun’s happy smile while talking to you about the mess Mark made on the club on Saturday and how much fun they had with Sicheng.
Both of you were walking slowly, just appreciating each other’s presence and talking about anything that came to your mind at the moment. Once you arrive at your building, ten minutes later than normal, Jaehyun stops you from entering the building.
“I want to apologize for -”
“It’s okay.” you don’t let him finish. Listening to him apologizing for kissing you it will hurt more than pretending it never happened.
“But you didn’t let me finish,” he insists, but you shake your head.
“I know what you’ll say. It’s alright. I forgive you.”
“Y/N-”
"Jaehyun, don’t,” your voice is stern and he chuckles, raising his arm in defense.
“Alright. Then let me take you to the arcade on Friday after class,” he says, his ears getting red as he does “Remember you said you wanted to go there? Let’s go together. It’s my official apology.”
“I said I forgive you, you don’t need to-”
“This is my official apology, you need to come so I can be officially forgiven,” he smirks and you laugh. He was always so smooth to get what he wanted. “Then we can go to the party.”
“What party?” you frown in confusion.
“Our party, this Friday. You need to come,” you groan in annoyance and let your head fall back “Come on, I’m sure Jiwoo is coming too.”
“She will just spend the whole night with Johnny,” you plead him with your eyes.
“Then you can spend it with me.”
And when Friday came, you realized you can’t say no to Jaehyun.
You had an amazing time at the arcade. Even though you only arrived there around four, because of your classes, Jaehyun made sure to show you his favorite games and you even managed to win him sometimes - he will never admit that though, he will insist that he went easy on you. When it was around seven both of you decided to go back, since, now, he finally convinced you to go to the party.
Despite your protests, Jaehyun walked you back to your dorm and gave you one hour to get ready, saying that you shouldn’t be late. You get to your room with a silly smile on your face and spot Jiwoo starting to apply her makeup, but she doesn’t notice you coming in. You notice a dark red dress resting on her bed. It had an insufficient amount of cloth to cover her body on a chilly night like this, but maybe she wouldn’t need to worry about cold weather inside a house full of people dancing.
“I see that you are ready to kill Johnny tonight,” you say loudly, startling her.
“You do this on purpose, don’t you?” she looks at you and rolls her eyes when she looks at your innocent face “Do you like it?” she points at her dress and you nod, “I think Johnny will like it too.”
“Gross,” you joke and she shows you her tongue
“How was your date?”
“It wasn’t a date.” you start humming the first song that’s in your head “Do you think I will look too ugly wearing this?” you ask by placing one of your blouses in front of you.
“Why? Where are you going?” Jiwoo doesn’t spare you a glance.
“To the party,” you place the blouse back into the drawer and take one of your favorite t-shirts instead, “Jaehyun told me I had one hour to get ready,” you mumble the last part and the other girl stops everything and slowly turns her body to face you.
“You can’t be serious right now!” a grin adorned her face while she looked at you holding an eyelash extension. “You are so in love with each other.”
“No, we are not. We are just friends,” you state matter-of-factly “He just said I should have some fun and ended up convincing me to go to the party.”
“You say as if it’s easy to convince you to go to frat parties,” she turns back to finish her makeup. “If you give me fifteen minutes, I’ll help you get ready.”
“There’s no need for that, don’t worry.”
“Yes, there is. Go take your shower. Go, go.”
You sigh and make your way to the bathroom. If you were fast enough, you could avoid Jiwoo and the makeover you were sure she was planning. Every time you go to an event together, she makes sure to doll you up. Suddenly, flashes from last Saturday cross your mind. You definitely shouldn’t let her choose your outfit again. The last time didn’t go well.
After showering and washing your hair, you see your phone light up and Jaehyun’s face illustrating the screen. You hung up the call to finish drying your hair, but he insisted another five times before starting messaging.
[Jae - 8:14pm]: do u hate me???
[Jae - 8:14pm]: pick up the phone
[Jae - 8:15pm]: y/n
[Jae - 8:15pm]: if u don’t pick up imma be sad
[Jae - 8:15pm]: :/
[Jae - 8:26pm]: are u ignoring me????
[Jae - 8:28pm]: talk to me
[Jae - 8:28pm]: plssss
[Jae - 8:29pm]: i know u r reading my messages
[You - 8:30pm]: omg
[You - 8:30pm]: u are so annoying
[You - 8:31pm]: i was taking a shower
[You - 8:31pm]: do you want me to be dirty????
[You - 8:31pm]: what do u want?
[Jae - 8:32pm]: i forgive you then
[Jae - 8:32pm]: r u ready?
[You - 8:33pm]: almost? i need to hurry up
[You - 8:33pm]: jiwoo must be ready
[You - 8:34pm]: and i’m going with her
[Jae - 8:34pm]: nooo :(
[You - 8:34pm]: ??
[Jae - 8:35pm]: i’m waiting for you outside
[Jae - 8:35pm]: walk with me instead
You stare at your screen for some seconds before thinking of a reply. Why did Jaehyun come all the way to your dorm to pick you up? Is he insane? Is he trying purposefully making you fall for him just to crush your heart later? Is that the reason why he gave you one hour to get ready? He barely waited thirty minutes, though.
[You - 8:36pm]: ok..
[You - 8:36pm]: i’ll be down in 5
You run back to your room and throw everything on your bed, not caring about the mess. Jiwoo is finishing her hair and was almost ready to put on her shoes. You throw the wet towel that was in your hair on the floor and take the first pair of shoes you find.
“If you are rushing just to avoid me, forget it. You’ll only leave this room once you look presentable to a party. Look at you!” she scoffs but you barely listen to her
“No, not now. I need to go,” you pant and grab the first lipstick you found “Jaehyun’s downstairs.”
“HE WHAT?” she shouts and screams incoherent words afterward. You were sure the whole floor had heard her. “YOU CAN’T MEET HIM LOOKING LIKE A WET DOG. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN DRIED YOUR HAIR PROPERLY!”
“Stop screaming!!” you plead and try to find a hairbrush “It will dry naturally.”
“NATURALLY?” Abigail punches the wall behind Jiwoo but she doesn’t seem to notice or care about it “Come on, if you don’t want to change your outfit, at least let me dry your hair.”
“He has been waiting outside for a while now.”
“It won’t kill him to wait another fifteen minutes.” she grabs the hairdryer and goes to your direction, but you deflect “It’s either the hair or the outfit. You will have to change SOMETHING.”
You know how stubborn your friend can be, so you just drop the matter without fighting and let her do her thing. While you use the hairdryer, she chooses something from your drawers, while threatening to lock you out of your shared room if you don’t wear her outfit.
You regret not running away while you could when she hands you the same black skinny jeans from last time. You should have burned it last week. She chooses a crop top that was probably hers and throws your favorite denim jacket at you.
“Just so you won’t complain about being cold.”
You rush to get to the front of the building as fast as possible, just to find Jaehyun leaning his back against the lamppost. You can’t deny your heart skipped a beat at the sight. He is there, waiting for you. His head is hung low, eyes fixed on his phone. Jaehyun had the same outfit from the first time you met him at your first frat party: long-sleeved black shirt and black skinny jeans, looking just as good as the first time.
“Sorry, I’m late. It’s Jiwoo’s fault,” you say once you’re next to him.
His eyes scan your body up and down and you see a faint smirk on his face. “I like your jeans,” he adds suggestively.
“I hope I won’t feel cold, Jiwoo chose this crop top to wear at night!” you say to yourself, not realizing what the boy has just implied. Jaehyun was behind you, still checking you out, which if you had noticed, would have made you blush “You gave me an hour to get ready, though. I barely had time to dry my hair, it will look ugly later.”
“I doubt it,” he answers back and rushes to hold your hand in his. “Sorry, I guess I just wanted to see you soon.” He notices how you tense up and smiles at the way you tighter your grip around his hands.
“Stop it.” you warn him “You didn’t have to pick me up though, I could go with Jiwoo.”
“I came to pick you up because I heard creeps are hovering around the girl’s dorm.”
“Who told you that?” you ask, adjusting your hands together. Holding Jaehyun’s hand was more pleasing than you wanted to admit. It felt familiar.
“Johnny.” you laugh at him who looks at you confused “What?”
“Do you seriously believe in Johnny? There’s 24/7 security around our building,” you smile at him who mirrors your expression, showing you his dimples. “He just uses it as an excuse to always give Jiwoo a ride,”
“Well, I guess he just worries about his girlfriend,” the boy gives your hand a little squeeze, making you look at him “Tell me when you’ll leave the party so I can walk you back, okay?”
“You don’t need to,” you turn your head to the front. If you keep staring at Jaehyun while he is being so caring, you’ll collapse there and then.
“I want to, silly. It’s dangerous to walk around by yourself at night.”
“So I assume you will fight whoever tries to hurt me?” you ask humorously, a smile on your face.
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Jaehyun tried to stay with you the whole night, but his friends weren’t helping. It all started as soon as you got to the house and Taeyong asked him to carry heavy boxes inside and stole your attention away from the boy. When he finally found you again, you were in a circle with Donghyuck, Taeyong, Taeil, and some girls he didn’t recognize, drinking some weird mixture they made. Before he could reach you, though, Yuta forced him to pair up in a beer pong game.
What he hated the most, though, was when he spotted you in the crowd for the third time that night. You were already tipsy, more prone to smile, and your smile was simply breathtaking to Jaehyun. But you weren’t smiling for him. It was Hendery Wong who was making you laugh and it was the other boy’s arm you were holding to steady yourself in place. Jaehyun hated, even more, all the times the boy would lean his body to whisper something to you and how he took advantage of that position to hold you by the waist, his hand resting on your lower back, bringing your bodies closer. Too close to Jaehyun’s liking.
“Stop staring, hyung,” Donghyuck says propping himself up against the kitchen’s counter. “Or else I will think you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous and I’m not staring.” Jaehyun sips his beer without taking his eyes off the couple.
“Yeah, why would you feel jealous of a funny and hot guy who is clearly hitting on Y/N?” Donghyuck says sarcastically and steals the drink from Jaehyun.
“He is shamelessly flirting with her for ages,” The boy tears his gaze apart from the couple to look at the younger who was drinking his beer. “Do you believe he used the ‘I think you are falling for me’ pick up line with her? And then inviting her to have lunch with him when she usually eats with me- us?”
“Who are we talking about?” Yuta arrives with two shot glasses in hand, filled with blue liquid.
“Take a wild guess.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes and goes to the dance floor.
“Do you want it?” the older boy offers and Jaehyun gladly takes it, feeling his throat burning with the alcohol. “What’s going on?”
“Hendery Wong.” the younger says looking back to the tall guy touching your body the way he wanted to.
Yuta follows Jaehyun’s eyes and hisses at the sight “I don’t wanna get punched in the face  but” he whistles and looks back at his friend “I don’t blame the kid, she looks hot as fuck tonight.”
“If you don’t wanna get punched, then close this filthy mouth of yours.” Jaehyun’s expression darkens and Yuta only laughs, tapping the guy on the shoulder.
Jaehyun considered approaching you. Fuck him, every time he saw Hendery touching your hair or smiling at you, he wanted to go there and punch that sly smirk out of the boy’s face. What would be his excuse, though? He didn’t know why he suddenly felt so protective around you, but it was eating him up.
“How’s tonight going, Jeffrey?” a cheerful Johnny appeared beside him “You looked so happy playing beer pong with Yuta.”
“Can’t you see I’m having the time of my life,” the younger one says sarcastically and takes the bottle of beer from Johnny’s hand.
“Your face says otherwise,” the tall one chuckles and glances towards you. “Just go there and ask her to dance.”
“She already has a date.” Johnny smiles and waves at someone “I don’t want to bother them.”
“It’s surprising they haven’t caught you staring yet. Jiwoo and I have been watching you and your jealousy attack for more than fifteen minutes.” He shakes hands with two guys who were passing by and complimented his music playlist for the party. “She likes you, you know? I’m sure she would dump anyone if you asked.”
“Why would I ask her that?” Jaehyun sounds offended. He didn’t want you to dump anyone for him. “She’s just a friend. A good friend. That’s why I want the best for her.”
“And I assume that, in your judgment, Hendery is not the best for her,” Johnny sips his drink and nudges his friend “but you are, aren’t you?”
“Hendery is not the best for her and everyone knows it. He is an exchange student, they start dating and what happens when he needs to move back to China?" Jaehyun crosses his arms in front of his chest, visibly irritated. “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”
“Oh, Jaehyun, please,” the older boy rests his arm on Jaehyun’s shoulder and leans closer to the boy’s ear “Just admit that you like her.”
“I don’t like her like that.”
“Yeah, right, so I guess now you call steamy makeout sessions, friendly conversations.”
“Can you not mention that? I was drunk.” Jaehyun snaps and slaps Johnny’s arm away from him “I only like her as a friend. Stop annoying the shit out of me. You, Donghyuck, Yuta, even Taeyong was bugging me this week. Cut the dating bullshit, for fucks sake!”
“Yeah, you take her on dates, make out with her in our kitchen, and now is jealous of Hendery blatantly flirting with her because you are just friends.” Johnny finishes his drink before placing the empty bottle on the counter “you definitely don’t like her.”
It was probably the alcohol, but Jaehyun was mad. He was so mad that he stormed out of the kitchen before he started a fight with Johnny. Why was everyone pressuring him about jealousy? He was only trying to take care of you. He knew about your little crush on him and that’s why he made sure to tell everyone that you were only friends. And friends care about each other.
He sighs and sits on the sidewalk, away from the party and from the stares. Away from you and Hendery. What was happening to him? He lays his back on the grass and closes his eyes. His mind reminds him of the way you looked so concentrated while watching the boring movie the first time you went out together. You looked so cute, biting your lips and barely blinking. He remembered the way you sang your heart out to all the High School Musical songs and how much he loves making you laugh, just to see your smile. He remembered all the times you tensed up when he held your hands, but after seconds were adjusting yourself. His heart starts beating faster when the image of you sleeping on his bed appears on his mind. The way you were peacefully sleeping beside him and how all he wanted to was hold you and never let go. His skin seems to burn with the memory of the feeling of your fingers tracing his skin, your lips on his and the way you ground against his body last Saturday.
“Fuck,” he mouths.
Lastly, he remembered how unbelievably pretty you look tonight. Damn, Yuta was right, you were hot. You look absolutely stunning and he wants you badly. He sighed thinking about how all of his friends know him so well. How could he keep lying to himself like that? Saying that he isn’t jealous when all he is thinking about is how great it must feel to be in Hendery’s shoes right now.
“What are you doing here?” he doesn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was.
“I’m tired.”
“Then go to your room. This is literally your house!” you hold his hand and try to force him to stand up “Come on, Jae.”
“I’m fine. Just go back inside. Enjoy the party.” he stays in the same position, eyes completely closed.
You huff in annoyance at his behavior. How dare him, tell you to enjoy the party when you only came because he asked you to.
“If you’re not standing up, then I’m leaving,” you threaten, but the boy doesn’t move. Why was he being like that? “Fine then. Once you decide to tell me what’s wrong, text me. Goodnight, Jae.”
You say, walking away from the boy laying on the grass. Five minutes ago Jiwoo came to you and told you to talk to Jaehyun, he looked stressed. Why was he stressed when he was supposed to have fun? You thought to yourself. But you had to admit you were more relieved than sad for not having the opportunity to spend the night with Jaehyun. After what happened the last time both of you drank a little too much, you decided it was risky to be too close to him and alcohol.
You couldn’t stop thinking about his actions, though. Movie dates, the way he always looked after you, he even remembered how much you wanted to go to an arcade and took you there. Your heart was confused. Could it be more than friendship? You cherished Jaehyun beyond anything you could explain, you didn’t want to ruin things with him.
You might have started your relationship weirdly. Looking back to the day you woke up beside him after a party, it felt like years ago. Because that’s exactly how Jaehyun makes you feel like you’ve known him for years. The more you got to know him, the more he seemed to grow on you. He was sweet, caring, and an absolute dork. He never failed to make you laugh and was always ready to listen to what you had to say, either if it was a joke or if you were just complaining about something. He would let you use his expensive pens just because you were curious about how they were. He listened to your messy playlist even though he absolutely hated 70% of the songs you put there. He is interested in you as a person. He makes you feel special and you can’t express how much you are happy to be by his side.
“Y/N, I told you that I would walk you home!” he shouts from behind you. “Wait for me.”
You hate how he could make your heart beat faster just by calling your name
“I thought you wanted to be alone.” you shrug and slow down your pace.
“Why are you walking so slowly?” he grabs your hand and pulls you forward “Just because I’m walking you it doesn’t mean I’m not afraid of someone attacking us at 1 in the morning.” you laugh at his sentence and he can’t fight back the smile that appears on his face.
“What happened to the guy who said he would protect me?” you question him, poking his ribs.
“I’ll only fight people unless it’s completely necessary. I don’t know if you realized, but I prefer to avoid confrontation.” his thumb starts caressing the back of your hand and you feel butterflies flying on your stomach.
“I like this way,” you softly say “I wouldn’t want to see you hurting.”
“Stop saying things like that, it makes me wanna kiss you,” he mumbles.
It makes me wanna kiss you.
Did you hear it correctly? Was he jokingly flirting with you or did he mean that? You didn’t have the guts to ask. The rest of the walk was silent, the only noise coming from your rhythmic steps on the concrete. Once you see the back of your building, informing you you are close to your destination, you try to take your hands away from Jaehyun’s grasp, but he only holds it tighter.
“No,” he pleaded quietly “not yet.”
You hum in response and keep walking beside him, holding his hand.
“Text me when you get home,” you say to him once you are in front of your building. You wait for him to leave so you can get inside, but he doesn’t move. “Are you not going home? Do you need anything?”
“I do.”
“What is it?”
“Can you hug me?”
Your breath is caught on your throat at his sudden request. What was wrong with Jaehyun tonight? You didn’t know he became clingy when he drank. Either way, you comply with his request and circle your arms around his waist and place your head on his chest. Jaehyun was warmer than remembered. You hear his heartbeat increase and smile softly. Was he as nervous as you were?
“Don’t date Hendery,” he blurts out and you frown, not understanding where this came from.
“Why would I-”
“I was so fucking pissed at the way he looked at you and it killed me that I don’t have the right to complain about it because we are just friends,” he says in one breath and you try to get away from his hold to have a look at his face, but he holds you closer “The way he touched you got me frustrated to the point that I had to go outside or I would have picked up a fight.”
“He was just being-”
“I swear to god, if you say friendly, I’ll kill myself,” he says pushing you away from him and you can see him scowling at you.
“He was being too friendly,” you say smiling mischievously and Jaehyun scoffs.
“Weren’t you uncomfortable with the way he was holding you?” he asked in disbelief.
“To be honest, I think you are exaggerating. I was really tipsy, he was just making sure I wouldn’t fall.” you say and Jaehyun rolls his eyes “What? He was basically just hugging me. We hug all the time.”
“You two hug all the time?” he almost screams and you put your hand on his lips.
“Shhh don’t scream!” you say, moving your hand from his lips to his shoulder. “I meant us. You and me. You hug me all the time too.”
“But I’m your friend and he is your student, who is clearly hitting on you, by the way,” he says placing his hands on your hips, but you don’t seem to realize.
“What, Jaehyun, is this jealousy?” you smile as the words leave your lips as a joke
“Yes, this is fucking jealousy.” he snaps for the second time tonight “I am fucking jealous because that kid has been hitting on you since you first started tutoring him and you don’t realize that.”
“Woah, hold on! Stop saying nonsense.”
“You are so frustrating,” he mumbles and brings you closer by circling his arms around your waist. “Please don’t date Hendery.”
“I won’t date any-”
"Date me instead."
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You feel someone sliding their hand into the back pocket of your jeans and smirk.
“Stop that,” you nudge his side “frat boy.”
“Why do you keep pretending you don’t like it when I do this?” Jaehyun rolls his eyes and brings you closer to his side “Lunch at 1?”
“It’s good for me.” you nod and stay on your toes to reach for his cheeks. “Shouldn’t you be in class right now?”
“It got canceled,” he says taking his hand out of your pocket and placing it on your waist. “Let me carry those for you.”
“It’s fine, we’re almost there.”
“Let me be a good boyfriend and carry your stuff for you.” he takes the books out of your hands and kisses your temple.
You have been dating for a while now, but every time he reminds you he is your boyfriend, it never fails to make your heart flutter. You smile widely, poking the dimples on his face and Jaehyun pretends to be annoyed, when, in fact, he loved how happy you looked.
Once you arrived at the main building, you thought Jaehyun would leave you by yourself, but he made sure to escort you to the study room. Once you turn down the hall, your boyfriend spots a certain someone waiting for you outside. Jaehyun stops a few meters away and hands you your books back, but before you can thank him, he pulls you by your belt loops and crashes his lips on yours.
You get surprised at his sudden action but kisses him for a little while after pushing him with your books, whining about being in public. Jaehyun finishes by giving pecks on your neck, jaw, and cheek. Before you can ask why he did that, you spot the long haired Chinese boy in front of library's the study room. He is clearly avoiding looking at your direction. You hit your boyfriend’s arm with the books on your hands.
“I can’t believe you were putting on a show with Hendery standing right there. You are so childish.”
“Yet, you love me the same,” he snickers, giving you one last peck on the lips “I just want to make sure he knows you’re taken.”
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Text
[00: 27 am]
Jaehyun turned to face you as you both lay in bed, a small smile spreading over his lips. His eyes glittered with love and affection, and his hands were behind his head.
You smile back at him and start to lean in closer to cover him in kisses.
“A kiss for your sweet sweet heart,” you said, leaning in to lightly peck his chest. His heart fluttered at your touch.
“And a kiss for your beautiful mind,” you continued, placing a kiss on his forehead as you looked into his eyes.
With a playful glint, you turned to completely face him and said, "And kisses for my all-time favourite, cutest dimples in the whole universe." He giggled as you proceeded to kiss each of his dimples.
You couldn't help but smile at him, feeling so lucky to have him in your life. Your eyes locked with his in a loving gaze when suddenly, his eyes flickered to your lips. Your heart started racing, and you looked away.
Jaehyun noticed. “Do you still get shy?” he asked, pulling you towards him and tilting your chin with one hand.
With a half smile and half smirk on his face, he looked at your lips, then back into your eyes. “Just by looking at my lips?” he said in a deep, low voice.
Feeling even more shy now, you nodded. Jaehyun's hand moved from your chin to your cheek as he pulled you in for a kiss. Your lips moved in perfect harmony, and you felt the butterflies exploding in your stomach.
Your breath mixed together and sent shivers down your backs as your lips met in a gentle yet intense kiss. Your bodies continued to press against one another, holding each other tightly as the kiss continued.
After what felt like an eternity, you pulled back, both of you breathless. Jaehyun had a huge smile on his face as he asked, “Was that what you wanted to do, princess?”, his voice full of love and a hint of teasing.
You nodded, still feeling too shy to speak. But before you could hide in his chest, he quickly gave you another peck on the lips, making your face heat up even more.
“Let me guess, a kiss for my delicious lips?” he said teasingly, knowing exactly what you were going to say. When you let out a soft groan in response, you could hear his deep, hearty laugh in your ears.
His laughter filled the room, and he pulled you closer, cuddling into you. “You're so cute,” he said, causing you to hide your face in his chest.
As you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be—in his arms, with his lips against yours.
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omlhyck · 2 months
Text
loving you is easy
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pairing. idol!jaehyun x model!reader
genre. fluff
w.c. 1k+
summary. Your agencies have confirmed your relationship to the public since you were seen outside together. You want to clear the air, what’s better than proudly doing skincare with your boyfriend?
"Hi everyone!" You begin, giving a shy wave to the camera.
"These past few days have been chaos lately since news got out," you smile as you say this; cheeks flushed a soft pink, later you would find out your fans have been going insane over this clip, "and I just wanted to unwind it all with you guys."
"So, I decided to film a 'get unready with me' with my special someone. Hence why we are in my bathroom," your hands gesture the place, "Jae's going to be joining us in a second, he's still changing into his pajamas."
You heave out a big sigh after that, arms crossed over your chest, eyes shutting closed for a moment, “I’m actually so happy right now but I'm so tired, you have no idea." Before you know it, a pair of arms enclosed you in its embrace. Jaehyun pulls your body to rest on his, you can feel his toned chest, his muscled arms around you so familiar you cannot help but want to bury in the warm comfort he brings with him. The height difference obvious as he towers a head above you.
Jaehyun rests his cheek on your head, "Happiness is a choice, baby, you don't always have to choose it." This you agree with, nodding your head softly. You manoeuvre your neck to place a kiss on his cheek, standing on tiptoes to place one where his dimple sits.
"Anyway! Jae, say hi first," you urge him. He moves to stand next to you instead, one hand still heavy on your waist.
"Hi. Hello everyone. Long time no see guys," he says this with pauses in between.
"So cute," you pinched his cheek. You clapped your hands, "Let's start then."
"First things first is," you say, "cleansing," Jaehyun finishes.
You let out a soft laugh, "Nice try baby, but the first thing is to get your hair out of the way," he drops his head down, ears red as he lets out a small huff smiling sheepishly. You hand him his hairband that pushes his hair back, he thanks you softly while you grab a scrunchie for yourself.
"Hair? Out of the way. Now we can double cleanse," you say smiling at Jaehyun.
Jaehyun opens the tap as you say, "Before anything else, you need to wash your hands too guys." The tap opens and closes, the next thing you're doing is drying your hands.
You hold up a cleansing balm showing the product to the camera. Scooping a little bit out with the little spoon given then transferring it to your finger, "Come closer bae," you call out to Jaehyun. When he's close enough, you slide the product onto one of his cheeks. Repeating the process for yourself.
Jaehyun’s already rubbing the product onto his face by the time you've placed the product onto your face.
"You know guys, the first time I've seen him do skincare was... it was something," you say to the camera, slowly spreading the product around your face, making sure to get all the creases.
"You make it sound like it was a disaster," Jaehyun grumbles. You giggle, "It might as well have been, you did it like any other man would, Jaehyunnie." He only shakes his head in turn, smiling because he’s embarrassed.
"Listen guys, you should always be gentle with your skin, to yourself in general, I mean if you're not gentle to yourself then who will? You get what I mean?" you tell the camera. "I was a victim of that too but then I thought ‘why am I being so harsh to myself?' ever since then I am a changed person."
"So, if you're surprised by how Jae's washing his face right now compared to back then, you can thank me," your smile was beaming, pointing to yourself. Jaehyun lets out a small laugh finding you adorable.
“This is also vital! Please emulsify the oil with water, cause this is the right way, and if you weren’t already doing this…i don’t know what to tell you…” you say with a grimace. After emulsifying, Jaehyun rinses his face first before you follow after.
You hold up a foam cleanser next, showing the product to the camera before doing the same as the last step. Without saying much, both of you rub the product onto your faces. The final video would be fast forwarded since it mostly consists of comfortable silence.
When you finish, he already has a paper towel in his hands, ready to wipe your face for you. Like he's always done when you do skincare together. Before getting for himself as well.
"This next part is my favorite part," you say happily, showing the camera a toner and serum.
"Jae likes it too," you cast a glance to him. "I only like it when I do it with you though," he responds, at this you feel your face get hot. "Oh, shush you."
As you go on a rant about the toner you're applying to your face, Jaehyun finishes swiftly and grabs the serum, waiting for you to finish patting the product onto your face. When you do he calls you softly, making sure to get enough product before dropping a few drops onto your face, doing the same to himself after.
"The last step is...”
"Moisturizer," Jaehyun answers, "Good job baby," you praise him. You don't notice it but Jaehyun smiles in delight, dimples popping up.
When you finish moisturizing your faces, you almost forget one thing. Reaching for it, "Ah! lip balm. I always forget it sometimes. Come here honey." Jaehyun obliges willingly, bending his knees a little so you can put on the lip balm on his lips easier. In exchange, Jaehyun puts on lip balm on you.
When he finishes, he gives you a chaste kiss but before he gets far, you hold onto his sleeves giving him a peck too. Smiling at each other, you're pretty certain your cheeks are heavily blushed right now.
That's going to get cut but if it isn't you don't mind
You think you've always known, but then again you weren't ever sure anyway. Falling in love with Jaehyun wasn't ever that difficult. It wasn't even like falling. It was more so walking and at times you'd jog but invariably you'd know what was at the end. Being in love with him was as easy as breathing.
The next clip is of you in bed, huddled in close to Jaehyun. "That's pretty much it for skincare, right now Jae and I are gonna watch a movie and then we'll go sleep." You give a small smile.
Flipping the camera so you could film Jaehyun in the middle of choosing a movie, lips pouted in concentration.
You flip the camera back to film yourself, “Before I go, I just wanted to say l appreciate every one of you that have been supporting me and Jae, I can't thank you enough seriously. I hope you guys live happy, healthy and..safe.”
"Good night, guys, sleep well," you say giving a small kiss.
comment section:
girlygirl78
MY PARENTS ARE SO CUTE 😭😭🤞🏼🤞🏼
abcdefghaech
if you look behind them closely you can see me sobbing
user6283
sliding down a wall right now.
user2482
10:28 so true queen
pancakesoverwaffles
15:14 time to go sleep on the highway tonight
jaehyunslefttoe
JAEHYUN IS SO BABYGIRL. IM SO HAPPY WE GET TO SEE THIS SIDE OF HIM TOO. PPL SAY THANK YOU TO Y/N
user127
THE NICKNAMES. PLEASE AM I THE ONLY ONE TRIPPING ABT THEM😭😭 theyre so cute pls
nctzhoe
i know the czennies are gonna go crazy over this
ynsnumberonefan
Y/N YOURE SO PRETTY I LOVE YOU MORE THAN JAEHYUN DOES I SWEAR
tyongtube
when’s the wedding? 🙈🙈🙈
nanaluna
this wasnt on my 2024 bingo card
ynandjaehyunlovr
3:56 DO U SEE THE HAND PLACEMENT
SO JAEHYUN IS THAT TYPE OF BOYFRIEND🥹🥹
ynslove
y/n is so sweet, even when people say negative things abt her she focuses on the positive. even hoping for us to live happy healthy and safe ☹️☹️ 19:00
liveloveyn
y/n best girl>>>>
taeilyoulater
i love that this video like 80% of y/n just talking and 20% of it is jae just nodding and listening to her 🥹🥹 soo cuteee when’s it my turn😭
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ah-ga-seven · 9 months
Text
Fucking Up the Sheets | Jung Jaehyun
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Pairing: Fem!reader x Jung Jaehyun
Word count: 2.8k
Genre: smut, slice of life, teeny tiny bit of angst, fluff
Summary/Warnings: nsfw, established relationship, soft dom!jae, mentions of overstimulation, choking and squirting.
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Never in your life did you imagine reaching this level of domestic in your relationship with Jaehyun this fast and so naturally. You’ve been together for 4 years now. Both of your social circles have basically melted together, and the only place where you lived separate lives was at work, especially since you started living together not long ago.  
Your friends always warned you that the first few months of living together was going to be tough. You’d have to re-figure each other out and get past the tiny differences you didn’t know about yet. Living together would be nothing like staying over at each other’s’ place or going on vacations for that matter.  Because now…you had a household to maintain. As a team.  
But to be honest…things worked pretty fine?  
The only problem is that Jaehyun only knows how to vacuum and do the dishes. He does all the other ‘manly’ stuff. Like taking out the trash, carrying the groceries in and fixing a lightbulb when needed. Though there weren't many bulbs to replace in a new home in the first place...  
“Babe, when I get back from work can you please change the bed sheets. I didn’t have time.” You were running late for work, giving him a desperate look as you stood in the hallway, ready to leave with your car keys and big ass water bottle in your hands.  
He didn’t look up from his phone, pursing his lips together to show his dimples as he nodded. A low hum escaped his lips, letting you know that he heard you.  
You stood still for a second, knowing him well enough to know he probably half-heard you. But for the purpose of avoiding a fight you decided to just trust him for once and not nag for not listening to you because you didn’t know for sure that he didn’t.  
You were just going to have to put your faith in him for once. And hopefully when you got back…he did the damn thing.  
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Your job had it out for you today.  
You mixed up a deadline which meant you had to stay later than usual to be able to make it work and now that it was 8 pm. You were exhausted, dehydrated and tense.  
You tried to relax your shoulders and cancel out the dull ache in your lower back from sitting at your desk all day, but it was of no use. It looks like Jaehyun would have to massage yet another knot out of your shoulders tonight.
The thought of seeing him after such a long day made a smile creep up on your face unknowingly. Ah, yes. Home. It really is where the heart is.
“Babe?” you called out for him once you entered the house and walked straight into your living and kitchen area. He spotted you from the couch and got up to greet you. You had a rather exhausted pout on your face which made him chuckle at your cuteness when you opened your arms for him. He embraced you tightly, which made your eyes close in solace for a second. Jaehyun planted a kiss atop of your head and let go after his hands traveled to your waist. “I got takeout. I’ll heat some up for you while you shower, okay?” he sweetly suggests as he ghosted his thumb over your frown.
You nodded with a content smile, unknitting your eyebrows for the first time in a while. Your well-deserved weekend could finally start, and all you wanted to do after your diner was climb into your warm, clean bed to binge your favorite show together, but when you got out of the shower and into your bedroom, your smile faded.  
Jaehyun hadn’t made the bed yet, and just like that your good mood was spoiled.  
You kick yourself for not making sure he fully heard you this morning when you asked him to put on fresh sheets.
You were more fired up than usual given todays events and angrily started to remove the pillowcases one by one, making your way to the end of the bed with annoyed stomps to start unbuttoning the duvet cover and just as you were about to pull it off, the door creaked open.  
“Food is rea…dy.”  
You hadn’t looked at him yet but the little pause in his sentence was a dead giveaway for the fact that he knew you were angry. And that he KNEW he was supposed to do what you were doing right now.  
So, he did hear you this morning.  
You turn around giving him an exhausted glare. “I thought I asked you to do this.” you say throwing one of the pillowcases right at him.
His eyebrows raised in surprise, swiftly catching the cotton cover before it could hit him in the face. “I….yeah. True.” he admits pursing his lips together to show his dimples.
You just stare back at him at a loss for words. The least he could say is “I was going to” or a “Yes, sorry, I forgot, I’ll do it right now.” But he just gave you a corny ass smile as he leaned on the doorpost. Well at least he wasn’t trying to gaslight you…but why was he looking at you look that?  
You sigh in defeat, crossing your arms over your chest to seem more intimidating “Jaehyun, for fucks sake please just-” he interrupted you. “Baby where are your clothes?” he bit his lip as he gave you a look up and down and that’s when it struck you that you were only wearing your panties since you just got out of the shower.  
You guess you got distracted by your unmade bed before you could even think of putting something on.  
“I-” you look down at your bare chest and up at him again. “Jaehyun. Stop. I’m serious. Nothing about the way we run this household right now is 50/50.”  
“Hmm.” He wasn’t hearing you. His senses completely numbed by the raging hormones coursing through his veins as he looked at you through hooded eyes. He bit the inside of his cheek, his mouth watering at the sight of your erect nipples accompanied by the remaining droplets of water from your shower that remained on your neck and chest like glistening crystals. Even after all these years you still had the same effect on him.
He closed the distance between you two, brushing your hair back as his other fingertips ghosted from your neck to your chest, clamping on of your nipples between his middle and index finger. You jolted from the sensation, his cold hands sending shivers down your spine. “Sorry baby…” he mused, planting a quick kiss to your lips. “I have to get used to having you around like this all the time…” he stopped his sentence, looking down at you in awe as he feathered his fingers down your stomach. “I’ll be better, I promise.” He whispered in your ear before biting your earlobe ever so softly, and without warning his hand disappeared into your underwear.  
You immediately felt your whole body relax as you held onto his shoulders for leverage. You were dumbfounded by how easy it was for him to completely manipulate you like that. So you knew you had to put your foot down and…and uhm… -  by now you felt his fingers on your clit – What were you saying again?  
A breathy moan escaped your lips as you throw your head back in bliss. His digits slowly but steadily rubbing circles against your most sensitive bundle of nerves. “Jae-” you whined, unable to think straight anymore. “Hmm?” he mused, adding a bit more pressure now, making you buck your hips forwards in his hold. His other arm wrapped around your waist from behind to hold you in place for what he was about to do next as he moved your panties aside. Jaehyun then expertly coated his middle and index finger with his saliva, giving you a devilish look as he slowly inserted his fingers into you.  
You gasped at the stretch, but fully gave in by now just because it felt too good not to. You huffed, trying to find inner strength to voice something other than your incoherent moans.  
“L-lets argue later.” You guffawed, making him shake his head at you. He smirked contently, continuing his ministrations inside of you. “Let’s not argue at all baby.”
Fuck it. He was right.
You pulled him in for a deeper kiss as he finger-fucked you; making him moan into your mouth at your sudden eagerness. The bass in his voice made your body react to him by tightening around his fingers which made him smile against your lips. He was keeping his pumping rhythm while prying your lips open with his tongue to slowly suck on yours and by now you were sopping wet down there. You could hear it.
“Come here.” He mumbled, bending down to lift you off of the floor. You locked your ankles around his hips as he carried you to the bed. Jaehyun proceeded to let go of you playfully which made your back bounce on the matress. You giggled, watching him get rid of his shirt and sweatpants while biting your lip. You propped yourself up on your elbows to see, ghosting your fingers over his chiseled abs and his happy trail as he situated himself on top of you. He was teasingly grinding his clothed core onto yours to demonstrate how he’d fuck you with just a bit more patience. Your wetness had stained his grey sweatpants which made a string of slurs and praises roll from his lips. “Always so eager and ready for me.” he mused ghosting his thumb over your clit once again.
You lost patience and with no time to waste you pulled him in for a heated kiss again as your hands fought with the waistband of his boxers. He quickly stepped out of them once they were at his ankles, and opened up your legs as he pushed your knees up to your chest. His semi hardness rested against your thigh and the sight had your mouth watering. You wanted to pump him, but he playfully swatted your hand away. “Not until I say so,” he says sternly as he pumps his own length slowly while remaining eye contact.  
Oh? Ok sir. Period.  
“Why?” you pouted.  
He softened seeing your cute facial expression, making him kiss your inner thigh lovingly in response.  
“Cause I’m not done playing with you yet…” he was lost in thought as he roughly grabbed a handful of your breast, squeezing it hard and letting go just to slap it even harder. He was watching it bounce up and down in awe of your perfect figure, licking his lips with a lustful glare. You gasped, the stinging being a mere distraction as you watch Jaehyun eye you like a hungry animal. “You’re fucking perfect, you know that?” he says squeezing both of your tits this time. You bashfully try to avoid his stare, but he grabbed your chin, making you look at him. “Eyes on me baby.” Fuck. You couldn’t help but obey given how hot he was right now. He moved down your body again, taking your panties off of you slowly just to dive into your folds with his face.  
It’s like he was starved as he ate your pussy, sensually curling, flicking and flattening his tongue against your folds and your clit in alternating motions. He had your eyes rolling back, as you grabbed fistfuls of his hair which he seemed to love, because you felt him smile against your nethers. The pleasure was making your body shock with every flick of his tongue, making you desperate for that real gush of release. “Shit. Jae, please let me cum, please, please, please!” you begged pathetically as you screwed your eyes shut. He hummed in response, but it went over your head since he never stopped his menacing dance around your clit. You kept begging as you rolled your hips against his face, making him fuck your entrance with his wet pointy tongue while his nose grazed over your clit ever so slightly. He noticed how tense you got as you tried to stop yourself from cumming just because you didn’t have his permission yet.
He eyed you as you tensed up, you were trying to move away from him but he held onto your forearms tightly, pulling you back down onto his face as he watched you slither underneath him. Now realizing what you were doing he stopped for a second, continuing to roll his thumb against your clit instead so he could speak without losing friction.
“You don’t have to ask today baby, it’s okay.” You nodded feverishly, your moans getting louder and louder as his mouth attached to your clit again. Sucking and flicking his tongue onto your clit directly this time and with a few more seconds he had your whole core shocking and trembling as you squirted all over him and the bed. “J-jae, oh my god, n-no!”  
Your waters coated his lips and face, making him lick his lips and wipe his chest as he pumped his length. A low chuckle escaped his lips seeing your fucked out state but with just seconds to recuperate and no warning he pushed his cock into you in one hard motion.  
You gasped loudly as all the air got knocked out of your lungs and continued to moan deliriously as he fucked you with long, deep strokes.  
“This pussy is mine.” he growled, making you nod feverishly. ‘Yours, daddy! Yours!” You shout.
He smirked contently at your words, and curled his hands around your thighs, pulling you closer so your knees would be at his sides before picking up the pace. Your slick was helping out with how pleasurable and effortless his thrusts were, but still you yearned for more.
You took his right hand off of your leg and mindlessly put it around your neck to show him you wanted to be choked without words, which had his eyes darken with lust even more. He smiled, leaning forward to sweetly kiss your forehead as he starting to tightly pinch the veins on both sides of your throat. He closed his eyes, relishing in how your core tightened around his dick almost instantaneously as a reaction to his actions. “Ahh…fuck baby…s-so tight..” It was getting harder for him to control his thrusts and moans already.  
You looked into his dark orbs as tears welled up in your own, cupping his face while nodding at him to make sure he knew to keep going. He slowed down, sensually fucking into you this time as you started to gasp for air and that’s when your second orgasm hit you unexpectedly. You cried out, feeling yourself squirt again as you came which had Jaehyun pull out of you and let go of your neck immediately just to cum on your tummy.  
“Fuck!” he was out of breath, his chest heaving up and down just like yours as you both gasped for air. His body was glistening with both his sweat and well, your squirt and you…you were just not on planet earth anymore.  
He leaned forward, pecking your neck, chin and lips before making you look at him. “Are you ok?”  
Jesus you were done for, but you gave him a nod and a thumbs up with all the strength you had left in you and rolled over to your side to close your legs and regulate your breathing.  
He chuckled lowly, giving you a second to breathe and collect yourself as he started to massage your thighs with soft pinches in hopes to release some of the ache. He knew he was hard on you, but he can’t help it. Something straight out animalistic awakens in him when the two of you are having sex. It was one of the things that kept your love life exciting even after 4 years of being together.
Jaehyun looked down at the sheets and himself, still high on dopamine and pride. His chest was wet, as were your thighs, and the sight was absolutely sinful. “You don’t squirt often but when you do….damn.” he mused in approval as he grabbed the nearest towel to pat himself dry.  You regained enough consciousness to realize what he was saying and looked down at him, yourself and the damn bed. “Oh my god. I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t apologize…it’s the hottest thing...ever.” he giggled cutely, making your heart swell at the sound. How is that the same man who just railed you into another universe?  
“I guess I can go back into that shower,” you mope.
“Yeah…let me join you.” He mumbled as he helped you up from the bed by pulling at your arm and that’s when you both felt the wet sheets.  
“…Aren’t you glad I didn’t make the bed now…otherwise it would’ve been all fucked up.” He says with a playful glint in his eyes, trying to hide the fact that the corners of his mouth were trying to curl up into a smile.  
You glared at him, pushing him away which made him laugh out loud as he stumbled a step back.  
“Oh, shut up.”  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you.” He kissed your temple with a smile. “I’ll do it while you have your dinner. Alright?” he beamed at you so adorably that you couldn’t help but give in and nodded. “I love you too.” you say before placing a chaste kiss to his lips. “But first, let’s get cleaned up ourselves,” you say pulling him into the bathroom with you.  
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[Masterlist]
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taurusdaylight · 1 year
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he fell first, and he fell harder
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summary. jeong jaehyun really loves basketball. but also, he’s terribly in love with his childhood best friend of seventeen years, you.
pairing. basketball captain! jaehyun x fem! childhood best friend reader
genre. basketball captain! au, college! au, childhood best friends-to-lovers! au, slow burn, mutual pining, angst with fluff
word count. 18,705
warnings/tags. cursing, drinking, a few angsty moments of quarrelling :(, mentions of food, dual-pov, many many taylor swift references (especially from the lover album!!!) bc i am insane, a few of the other nct members make a cameo in this!
(long) a/n. did i expect the word count? no. i did not… but i’ll never let the jaehyun bolton agenda die down, so i’m immortalising it through my writing. i also don’t know how i’m able to churn out this many words but have trouble coming up with the title… but i thought it would be fitting! (my google doc title is literally “jaehyun bolton” …) this has bits and pieces of high school musical, the summer i turned pretty, and dear. m in it <3 don't usually capitalise my works because it's a bit of a hassle (i write on both mobile and laptop) but since this is a long fic i tried capitalising it... hopefully there aren't many errors lol. sorry for the long a/n but as always i hope you enjoy this~ pls lmk ur thoughts and if i missed out any warnings!!
“You coming to my game tomorrow?” Jaehyun asked, eyes not leaving his screen. 
Clad in a black hoodie, the Computer Science major had been working on his assignment for the past three hours. Cigarettes After Sex record on loop, it’s occasionally accompanied by his rapid, and sometimes, aggressive keyboard typing. Mumbles of apology follow after he thinks he’s being too disruptive, but you don’t pay any mind to it. 
You were on Jaehyun’s bed, begrudgingly watching your lecture that you’d missed on Monday because you slept through your alarm that morning. Alarms, to be exact. Your eyelids already felt heavy from listening to your professor drone on about how rain is formed. No offence to him, but you were simply taking this Geography module to clear your general education credits.
Jaehyun's voice shook you awake, even if it’s just by a little bit. Taking out one of your earbuds even though you’d already paused the video, you looked through the mental image of your calendar that you have in your head to see if you had anything planned for the next day, but nothing came to mind.
“Probably,” you shrugged. 
You’ve never been one to miss any of his games, so you most likely cleared your schedule for it already. Besides, it’s not like you could bring yourself to not watch his games in the first place, especially not when your childhood best friend slash neighbour is the star player of the school. Not forgetting that he’s also the captain of the basketball team who has led them to victory after victory through the years.  
Being in his life for more than a decade, you wanted nothing more than to be a part of every chapter of Jaehyun’s life, just as how he’s been there for yours.
An elated yes! sounds across the room, causing you to look at him weirdly. 
Jaehyun has this habit of saying something, and then getting distracted by something else even though only mere seconds have passed. When he eventually goes back to the topic, he doesn’t remember where to pick up from. 
“Sorry. Where was I?” Jaehyun finally turned his chair away from the computer, an indication that he was finally done with his assignment. Making eye contact with your best friend who’s now stretching his arms because he’d been sitting in the same position for a long period of time, you forced yourself to bite back a smile. There’s just something about having extensive knowledge about someone to the point that you’re able to predict their mannerisms. Completing their sentences, even.
“Your game,” you refreshed his bad memory, “I’ll be there.”
“Right,” he smiled. 
“Chinese takeout at my place afterwards?” Jaehyun confirmed, and you nodded excitedly in agreement before going back to your lecture.
Ever since Jaehyun started playing for the basketball team in high school, the two of you have made it a point to celebrate with each other by buying takeout from a Chinese restaurant within your neighbourhood. 
Don’t get Jaehyun wrong, he’s an extrovert who feeds off the energy that he receives from spending time with other people. It's just unfortunate that celebratory parties did the opposite, draining every bit of his remaining energy that he had left after a physically demanding game. 
Socialising skills thrown out of the window, he finds himself wanting to leave even though he’d only arrived at the party for a few minutes. Along with loud party music blasting from the speakers and getting squeezed by random bodies as he tries to make his way around the frat house, his discomfort multiplies tenfold. All he can think about is leaving. 
If Jaehyun had a choice, he’d choose not to show up at all, but that would be very rude of him. 
So instead, this is what he does: go to the party, strategically mingle around his teammates, and sometimes stick around for a round of beer pong to make it seem like he’s been really involved. By seven-thirty, he’ll be making his way back home to you, waiting for him with his favourite jjamppong. 
Of course, Jaehyun enjoyed partying with his teammates. In fact, he’s been through hell and back with them, so it would make the most sense to celebrate the team’s win together considering the amount of time and effort they’ve put in. It's just, Jaehyun loves spending time with you too. It’s as simple as that. Granted, you two practically see each other twenty-four seven. But could any measure of time with you be ever enough? He didn’t think so. 
It’s like how the two of you could have separately completed your schoolwork today. Yet, you spent the day together again, which proved that best friends truly didn’t always need a special reason to meet. That’s how things have been between the both of you, and how he intended to keep it.
Shuffled footsteps sounding across the room, Jaehyun walked over to his window to draw the blinds when he noticed that the sun had already started to set, letting some natural light into his room. He turned back, bemusingly shaking his head when his eyes landed on your lying figure. Making yourself comfortable on his bed and snuggling into his blanket, he reckoned that you’ve stopped paying attention to the lecture a long time ago. 
“Wake up, sleeping beauty.” Jaehyun turned off the air conditioner and record player, grabbing his phone and wallet from his desk before walking over to his bed. “Let’s get dinner.”
“I wasn’t sleeping!”
You sat up, glaring at Jaehyun because of his false accusation. An incredulous look on his face because of your reaction, he laughed at your poor attempt to fight back. Messy bed hair and tired eyes, anyone would have thought that you’d just woken up from a nap.
“And I’m not done yet, I still have ten minutes of the lecture left,” you informed him. But before you could resume your lecture, Jaehyun hurriedly closed the lid of your laptop, prying it out of your hands to leave it on his desk. 
“What was that for? I said I wasn't done.” You whined, his impatience starting to irk you. 
“The lecture is two hours long.”
“And?” you asked, not really seeing his point.
“And it’s been three hours!” Jaehyun stated matter-of-factly as though you weren’t aware. “If you actually paid attention, you’d be done by now.”
Your expression darkened at his words.
Now, you’re well aware of the fact that Jaehyun is a top student with multiple scholarships and stellar grades. He never fails to keep up with his weekly readings and always submits his assignments on time. Sometimes it's even submitted days prior to the actual deadline. Jaehyun's consistency is one of the many aspects that you greatly admire about him. Even so, it didn’t feel very nice to have him rub it into your face that he was more productive than you were, given that the both of you had the same duration to complete your individual tasks.
“You’re being very mean, Jaehyun.”
Pulling the blanket away from your body, you got up from his bed. “I may not be a genius like you, but at least I'm trying.” You avoided his eyes, not wanting to look at him in fear that you’ll start a petty argument with him over something so trivial. It's been a long day, so maybe you were being overly sensitive too.
“Hey,” Jaehyun extended a hand out to your forearm, gaze softening upon seeing how upset you looked. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”
“I–” his mouth closes, unable to find the right words to say. 
“Hey, you look tired. Let’s continue studying after dinner?”
Why didn’t he just say that from the start? It’s not even that difficult. He may not be the best with words, but he sure felt terrible for being the reason you’re upset. 
His grip on your arm tightened. “I’m sorry,” his voice resigned, Jaehyun apologised again. “Let's not fight over this, please?”
You removed Jaehyun’s hand from your arm, finally turning to look up at him. And there they were, the infamous puppy eyes he’d give you whenever he wanted to apologise or ask you for a favour. At that sight, you couldn’t help but let a tired sigh leave your lips. 
This is the Jaehyun that you’ve come to know. 
Treating everything as if it’s a competition. Too honest with his words. Impulsively saying his thoughts out loud without considering how others may interpret it, then realising that it’s too late to take back what he said if it ended up being too harsh. It’s not necessarily a bad thing because you could always depend on him to give you his truthful opinion without sugarcoating. He told you what you needed to hear, not what you wanted to hear.
Nonetheless, it was also times like this that made you wish he’d think before he speaks. Although you were slightly offended by what he said, you also understood where he was coming from. He’s tired, you’re tired, and there’s no better time than now to take a break. 
“I accept your apology,” you said, moving to open his room door. “But dinner’s on you.”
“Okay,” Jaehyun responded almost instantly, going over to stand behind you. He placed two hands on your shoulders and started massaging them before saying, “I’ll get you caramel milk tea with pearls too.” And even though you were not facing him, you could already see his frown from earlier disappear. 
“With less ice and less sugar,” he added. 
You’ll be lying if hearing him repeat your bubble tea order perfectly didn’t bring a smile to your face, but Jeong Jaehyun shall not get the satisfaction of knowing that. 
You first met Jaehyun when you were five.
It was a Friday afternoon, and you were very excited because your mum promised that she would bring you to the neighbourhood playground. You were supposed to go on Monday, but it has been raining heavily so you had no choice but to (quite literally) take a rain check on that. And fortunately, the sun was finally out today, shining brighter than it ever did this past week. 
As a kid, the neighbourhood playground was one of your favourite places. Other than having different types of slides, there was also a suspended rope bridge that you’d occasionally go on if you were feeling slightly more adventurous that day. Mini tree houses situated along the bridge that basically acted as checkpoints for when you’re crossing the bridge, these tree houses were definitely one of your top spots too.
But that day, you were more interested in the sand play area that’s adjacent to the playground. With just two swings in the middle of the sand pit, it was comparably less fun than playing on the slides or going on the tree houses. Though, the fourteen-piece sand castle building set that your mom had recently bought you for your fifth birthday definitely proved otherwise. 
For as long as you could remember, visiting the neighbourhood playground had become a weekly occurrence. In the time you spent there, you always had this tendency to notice the other kids who sat around playing in the sand pit. While they were using a variety of tools to build sandcastles of various sizes and shapes, you could only watch them with envious eyes from the tree house. Your parents have always been very generous with buying you toys, so you didn’t want to come off as a spoiled brat by asking for more. Instead, you tried to enjoy your time there with all that you had. Playing catch with the other children, having a competition on who could go down the slide the fastest. It was enough to make you content. 
Luckily for you, however, your mum seemed to have caught onto the fact that you too wanted to try building sandcastles, thus buying you one of those sandcastle building sets. You recall unwrapping the gift, screaming in excitement and thanking her profusely by enveloping her into a bear hug and giving her multiple cheek kisses. 
With the toys laid out in the sand, you decided to start slow. 
Steadying the blue bucket against the sand, you used the shovel and filled it up to the brim, smoothing out the top surface until you were satisfied with it. You carefully tipped the bucket over such that the sand wouldn’t fall out, and silently prayed for the best as you slowly removed the bucket. 
“Mummy, look!”
A proud smile on your face, you eagerly pointed to the sandcastle that you’d successfully built on your first try. Seated on the bench diagonally opposite from where you were, she praised you for doing a good job and gave you a thumbs up.
This went on for about the next half an hour or so, as you tried to build as many sandcastles as you could, experimenting with the different toys that you had, even going so far as to smooth out any crevices that you spotted with your bare hands, not caring that the sand particles would dirty them. It was a pity that there was no one else at the playground because it would have been more fun if you had a companion, but this would do for now.
Blowing out your cheeks once you’ve completed your little ‘art project,’ you looked at it with a triumphant smile. Albeit simple, it was pretty decent for a first timer. Although you wanted to keep going, it was admittedly tiring and required a lot of concentration on your part. As such, you decided to call it a day. Cautiously moving the toys away so that you would not accidentally topple the sandcastles over, you started to pack up your things so that your mum didn’t have to wait once she came back from the restroom.
Only, crackles of footsteps over the fallen leaves caused you to cease your packing. Not-so-subtly turning behind to look for the source of the sound, you scratched your head in confusion when there was no one in sight. You shrugged it off, thinking that you misheard it and that it was probably the sound of the bushes rustling since it did become more windy over time. Picking up the plastic shovel, it was the last of your things that you were going to keep before leaving the playground. But just as you were about to put it together with the rest of your stuff, you heard a sniffle. It was silent for a few seconds, and the sniffling continued again. And again. 
It sounded like… someone was crying?
With the plastic shovel still in your hand, you took one step back, then two, trying to get as close as you could without making any noise. You wanted to wait until your mum returned, but curiosity got the better of you. It seemed alright to assess the situation first, since you just wanted to check out what the noise was about. 
Frankly, you had no idea why you were being so secretive, but perhaps it was because you didn’t want to alarm whoever was there. If they were already crying, you shouldn’t startle them any further, right? At least, that’s what you thought. Upon closer inspection, you realised that they were hiding behind the bushes, and all you could see were their shoes. It was mostly white, the familiar black swoosh logo imprinted on it.
Walk away and pretend you didn’t hear any of this. That thought came straight to your mind when you started to remember the terrifying stories that your parents told you in order to warn you about stranger danger. Your mum would be here soon, so it would be a good time for you to escape too. Just go back to packing your things, and everything will be okay.
But… that would be cruel, a small voice in your head insisted. 
No matter how apprehensive you were about this entire situation, a part of you did not want to leave the person alone, whoever they may be. Because you knew that if you were in their position and someone was nearby, you would want them to help you too. 
So, with hushed steps, you moved even closer to the bush, instinctively stretching out your hand that carried the shovel. You know, just in case you needed to use it as a weapon if you were attacked. You also made sure to not stray too far away from the sand playing area so that when your mum came back to the bench, you would still be in her line of sight. Turning at the corner so that you could finally take a look at the person behind the crying (and bushes), you slowly raised your arm down such that it was now resting against your side, your gaze fixed on the culprit.
There was a crying boy in front of you.
He had a bowl haircut and was wearing a white crew neck short sleeve t-shirt. He also had really chubby cheeks that resembled peaches. Not that it mattered, but it was one of the few things that caught your attention when you first saw him. His eyes were red and swollen from all the crying, and he had yet to notice your presence yet, still huddled in the bushes. Every now and then, he’d wipe his tear-stained cheeks, but the tears just kept falling and falling like a waterfall. About half a head taller than you, he looked like one of those boys in your kindergarten, so you guessed that he was around your age too. 
Seeing as to how the crying boy was literally harmless, the paranoid feeling that you had from before dissipated completely. It was instead replaced by a sense of helplessness. You were usually a good problem solver, but you didn’t know what to do right now. Your parents often distracted you with a toy whenever you were crying, but what could you possibly offer to him when all you had was a silly plastic shovel that was dirtied with sand?
Still determined to make him feel better, you took a deep breath before walking up to the crying boy, two fingers timidly tapping on his shoulder. 
“I'm sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” You quickly apologised with both hands raised up defensively when the boy jolted upright, now looking straight at you with frightened eyes. So much for not wanting to scare him… You were going to be upset at yourself if you made him cry even more. 
When he didn’t respond and instead backed away from you, a pang of hurt washed over you. You genuinely didn’t have any ill intentions and just wanted to help him, why couldn’t he see that? What’s more, it wasn’t like you could physically take him down with your comparatively petite size. The only good thing was that he finally stopped crying, and you couldn’t help but think that maybe he was embarrassed by it.
Before you could let any irrational thoughts of leaving him alone consume you, you dared to take another step closer to him, gently placing a palm on his shoulder as assurance that you were not going to hurt him. 
“Are you okay? What happened?” you asked.
His shoulders immediately relaxed, but still, no words left his mouth for a few seconds.
“My grandma brought me to feed pigeons,” he explained, and you nodded, prompting him to continue. “But I got scared because a group of them suddenly came up to me. I could only think about running away, so that’s what I did,” he said in between hiccups. 
“I heard grandma calling for me, but I just wanted to get away from the birds so I ran all the way here and now I can’t find her.” Tears welling up at the mention of his grandma, you patted his shoulder in an attempt to console him. It was only then that you noticed bits and pieces of uneaten bread in one of his clutched palms. You felt really bad and wanted him to be back with his grandma, safe and sound.
“What's your name?”
You didn’t mean to bombard him with more questions, but surely, you couldn’t refer to him as crying bread boy, especially not if you were going to help him find his grandma.
“Jaehyun,” he answered. 
“Jaehyun,” you repeated after him, liking how it was a nice name to call out. At that, Jaehyun asked for your name, also repeating it after you told him.
Looking out in the distance, it was fortunate that you saw your mum walking back from the restroom, about to reach the bench that she’d been sitting on this whole time. You quickly turned back to Jaehyun, a comforting smile etched on your lips. 
“My mummy is there,” you gestured at her before continuing, “she’s really nice and will get you home safely to grandma, okay?”
He was silent again, and you wondered if he was doubting you or your intentions. Removing your hand from his shoulder, you grabbed his free hand, intertwining his pinkie with yours, “I promise.”
Jaehyun smiled for the first time ever since you saw him that day, deep dimples forming. “Thank you,” he inched forward, bent down to your eye level, and blew at your temple. “You got sand there. It’s gone now,” he said. You were slightly caught off guard by the close distance, but nevertheless thanked him. 
The focus was to find Jaehyun's grandma, you reminded yourself. Without wasting any second, you interlocked the rest of his fingers together with yours, running towards your mum, who had a surprised look on her face. With pursed lips, she still kept a polite smile, gaze shifting from you to Jaehyun as she patiently waited for you to introduce him to her. 
Doing the honour of telling her what happened so Jaehyun didn’t have to repeat himself, it turns out that you were right about your mum knowing what to do.
She revealed that the Jeong family actually moved into the empty apartment opposite yours just last week, and she had already met them when Jaehyun and his mum came over to give rice cakes as part of tradition. Due to it being a brief interaction and Jaehyun hiding behind his mum the whole time, that could be why he didn’t recognise your mum at first glance. He was apparently shy when it came to meeting new people, though, you’d like to think that he just enjoyed hiding behind people and things for no reason.
After you’ve gathered all your things, the three of you walked back to your apartment together. Sandwiched in between you and your mum, Jaehyun was holding onto both of your hands. You did not know how he was feeling on the inside, but you could visibly tell that he’d already calmed down.
On the way home, you and Jaehyun ended up talking with each other, pretty much like how you would in kindergarten when getting to know more about a new friend. You learnt that he does not like bright colours and prefers sticking to monochrome colours, his birthday falls on Valentine’s day, and that he’s living here for five years because of his dad’s job. Oh, he enjoys playing basketball too. 
The walk to your apartment proved to be faster than expected as you and Jaehyun continued chatting until you reached. The two of you were in your own world, neither of you noticing your mum smiling at how well the both of you got along. It was as if you’ve known each other your entire lives.
His frightened eyes resurfaced while waiting at his front door, certain that he was going to be reprimanded big time for recklessly running away like that. To his surprise, however, the door opened to his mum and grandma standing side by side, the both of them letting out a huge sigh of relief the moment they saw him, not a tinge of anger in their voice or face. Running into their embrace, he apologised for making them worried and promised not to do it ever again. 
Other than the few sand particles that stained his once pristine white tee (the culprit shall not be named), they were glad that he made his way back home safely with you and your mum’s help.
Like yin and yang, black and white, Jaehyun and you were two-halves, who by the roundabout way of fate, found your way to each other, complementing and contradicting every bit of your souls in an imperfectly perfect manner that was like no other.
And the rest was history.
It was the final game of the season, and also the last day of the junior year. Despite winning all of the previous games by a large margin, Jaehyun didn’t want to get too complacent and take it easy just yet, since they were up against one of the stronger teams today. After all, it was the finals that determined if they would become champion, and if there’s one thing that he learnt growing up, it’s that he should either go big or go home. In other words, it’s either champion or nothing. 
Both teams have already arrived at the stadium, now wrapping up their warm-up exercises and ball handling drills as the spectators started to fill up the seats. Out of habit, Jaehyun looked to a particular area in the audience that’s near his team’s benches.
You’ve always been Jaehyun's biggest supporter, not just in basketball, but throughout his life, ever since that fateful meeting.
At age ten, his world almost came crashing down when he thought that he’d have to fly back to the other side of the world since his father’s contract had ended. He couldn’t imagine not having you by his side, and Jaehyun did not want to bid farewell to you, not at that time, not ever. But life had a funny way of working out, because you still ended up being his neighbour when he went back to Seoul, both of you promising that you wouldn’t leave each other’s side.
Because if it weren’t for you, he’s positive that he wouldn’t have made it this far either. 
Sad to say, his biggest supporter also happened to have a frequent problem of tardiness. Reaching on time already proved to be a challenge for you, so Jaehyun’s not sure why he expected you to be early for his game. Although you promised him yesterday that you'd come watch him play, he couldn’t help but sulk in disappointment when he did not see the one person that he’s waiting for. 
“Don’t worry Cap, she’ll be here soon. You know how it is.” Feeling a bump against his shoulders, Jaehyun looked away from the audience and came face to face with his teammate, who shot him a reassuring smile. 
Mark Lee, Vice-captain of the basketball team, and also Jaehyun's ride or die. Meeting through basketball, they’ve been playing alongside each other ever since high school days. Mark was the next person that Jaehyun could comfortably confide in after you, and the closest thing that their bond could be likened to was that of biological brothers. 
Save for the celebratory after parties, a few spontaneous outings, and the several common classes that they shared, the two did not typically hang out together on the regular outside of basketball. Even so, having been a part of each other’s lives for so many years, it was not surprising that there’s still a mutual sense of understanding between them. Like how some things don’t need to be said aloud, and you’ll still get it. That was the nature of their friendship. Brotherhood, if you will.
And so, it was only a matter of time before Mark eventually latched onto Jaehyun's undying crush on his long-time childhood best friend of seventeen years, you. The way Jaehyun’s eyes twinkled at the mention of your name in conversations, how his jaw clenched at the sight of his teammates getting too chummy with you for his liking whenever you popped by his training sessions; Jaehyun was obviously not an expert at concealing his feelings for you. And as far as Mark's concerned, these feelings were definitely not platonic. 
Jaehyun awkwardly cleared his throat at Mark's words, going over to his team’s benches as if he wasn’t just caught red-handed looking for you in a sea of people. Having a crush in itself was already embarrassing, but it’s worse when other people are aware of it. Even though Jaehyun trusted that Mark isn't the type of person to expose him, it didn’t help that you and Mark were also friends, because the Mark that he knew could not keep a secret to save his life. Case in point: Mark accidentally adding Jaehyun to a group chat with the subject name: Captain’s Birthday Surprise Party.
Perhaps the least of his concerns as of this moment, but someday if Jaehyun ever decided to make his feelings known, he wanted you to hear it directly from him. 
“Jae!” 
Jaehyun snapped back to reality when he heard a familiar voice, standing up from the benches to look back at that one spot in the audience. Unable to hide his smile, he waved at you, chuckling at the raised banner in your hands that read: MY CAPTAIN ♡ #23.
Wearing the number 23 jersey came with great expectations, and even though Jaehyun was no Michael Jordan, he’d proven himself to be worthy of owning it. Carrying the burden of being the star player and team captain was not easy, to say the least, but Jaehyun was grateful that he has the support of his teammates, and most importantly, you. 
There were days in which he got really stressed out because of practice, venting to you about how he needed to stop shooting air balls when it was only days away from the competition. Or when Yuta, his teammate, continuously used illegal contact in spite of his instructions. He could not be emotionally charged when dealing with his teammates, so you were the only person that he could go to. 
Unlike him, however, you weren’t familiar with basketball so your responses often came in the form of understanding nods, a listening ear, and becoming a shoulder for him to lean on. 
And even that was enough for Jaehyun.
“You can do it!” 
Jaehyun thinks back to the time that you tried to cheer him up with encouraging words. It was one of those days in which he ended practice with a heavy mind, and he could only let it all out while ranting to you. 
“You’re Jeong Jaehyun, there’s literally nothing you can’t do. Troy Bolton?” you scoffed. “I’ve only ever heard of Jaehyun Bolton!” Jaehyun bursted into laughter the moment he heard that, visibly entertained by how you could come up with something so absurd yet hilarious. But just like magic, Jaehyun also felt a heavy weight lift off his shoulders at your affirmation.
“You’ll do just fine, Captain.” You gave him a comforting pat once he calmed down from laughing, adopting a more serious tone to let him know that you weren’t kidding about him doing well.
Even if it was a spur-in-the-moment kind of thing, it somehow aged really well, for Jeong Jaehyun has never lost a single game in his life, and he didn’t plan on losing any game in the near future. 
It’s the fourth and final quarter of the game. To be precise, it was down to the last two minutes.
Jaehyun’s team was playing offence, and even though they were in the lead, the opposing team was very close to catching up to their score. These two minutes were extremely crucial.
Eyes trained on the ball, Jaehyun watched Jungwoo dribble it, getting as close as he could to the three-point line. Except, Jungwoo struggled to do so because he was surrounded by the opposing team, which practically made it impossible for him to inch any closer. 
Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
The referee blew the whistle, signalling for Jungwoo to hand the ball over to the opponent because he went past the five-second rule. 
Jungwoo wore a look of disappointment on his face, reluctantly passing the ball over. Jaehyun noticed this, and quickly jogged over to his teammate. “It’s okay,” he muttered, patting Jungwoo on the back. 
As the seconds went by, the opposing team passed the ball within their team, but never quite made it close to the scoring lines either, Yuta powerfully smacking the ball to block their advances. One of them continuously shouted at their teammate to shoot once there was an opportunity, but he didn't, and Jaehyun guessed it’s because it’s too far and risky a shot to take, especially with the clock ticking. 
Failing to make any further advances, they ended up losing their possession of the ball to Jaehyun's team. He signalled for Sungchan to take it, mentally formulating a strategy for him to get the ball over to their scoring zone smoothly. All of them exchanged glances with one another, collectively nodding after Jaehyun held up three fingers. 
After the whistle beeped, Sungchan wasted no time in passing the ball to Jungwoo before it could get intercepted. 
“Nice!” Jaehyun’s shout echoed, and he ran over to manoeuvre around the empty area just behind the three-point line of their scoring zone. 
They had sixty seconds left. 
Jungwoo was once again blocked, but unlike before, there was only one defender in front of him this time. Not expecting the ball to leave Sungchan’s hands so quickly, the other defenders were still running from the other side of the court, which gave him a bit of an advantage. 
“I'm free!” Mark called out, raising his hand to get Jungwoo’s attention. 
Jungwoo always played it safe, so he planned to dribble the ball to ensure that he could make a smooth pass to Mark. But dribbling the ball also made it easy for the defender to snatch the ball away, so he decided against it. 
Instead, he steadily raised the ball over his head as though he was about to do a shoulder pass to Mark, then waited for the defender to raise his arms knowing that he would try to smack it down. The second the defender’s hands were raised above his waist level, Jungwoo speedily brought the ball down, successfully bouncing the ball into Mark's hands.
Clearly outnumbered, the defender did not even try to stop Mark’s pass to Jaehyun. 
With the ball now in his possession, the entire stadium turned silent, suspense growing as all eyes fell on Jaehyun, waiting for him to take the shot. They’d already won the game, but it was still undeniably exhilarating to watch, considering that there were only eight seconds left until the game ended. Furthermore, it’s a three-pointer at stake here. 
It’s now or never. 
Jaehyun’s gaze was fixed on the hoop. Flashbacks of his air ball moments started playing in his mind, and he had to shake his head to physically clear out such thoughts. He exhaled deeply, the image of you with the banner that you probably stayed up to finish appearing instead, and he thought back to what you said to him before. No matter how ridiculous, he must admit that your words gave him a boost of confidence that faltered for a while when the opposing team kept scoring earlier. Positioning the ball over his head, he made a jump for it, effortlessly flicking the ball out of his palms… 
And he scores.
The crowd erupted in massive applause and loud cheers. Splashes of red, yellow, and white of the team’s flag colour decorated the entire stadium. Jaehyun’s teammates made a run for their captain, engulfing him in a group hug as they celebrated their victory. Before both teams returned to their benches, they lined up in a row for a handshake, mutters of good job and good game exchanged between players and coaches alike. 
As he did in every other game, Jaehyun returned to the benches and turned back to look at you. Even though most of the crowd already dispersed, you were still seated there, banner in hand. Pointing at it once again, you mouthed exactly what’s written on it, showing him a thumbs up. Grinning from ear to ear, he did not make any effort to hide his happiness.
Forget movies. If the multiverse was real, Jaehyun hoped there is a version where you become the Gabriella Montez to his Troy Bolton. 
Summer vacation rolled around soon enough, and before you knew it, you were sitting on the passenger seat of Jaehyun's car, buckling up your seatbelt while he started the engine.
You didn’t usually make any extravagant plans for summer vacation, but this year was slightly different in that both of your families decided to rent out a villa at Fluffel Heights. A three-hour drive away, it’s a small town located up north from your neighbourhood. It’s rare for everyone to be around, so this was the best time to spend the next three months together. 
You were supposed to set out at seven in the morning, but as always, you overslept again. Your parents left you a text saying they’d go over to check out the villa with Jaehyun's parents first, and that you and Jaehyun could come together later. Turns out, he also had difficulty getting out of bed because he was up all night gaming. By the time the both of you got ready, it was almost nearing noon.
“Wanna get Starbucks?” Jaehyun asked after keying in the address of the villa into his GPS. The shimmering heat of the sun tempted you to say yes, so the both of you stopped by to get drinks and snacks for the long ride. You decided to try an iced shaken tea with lemonade that’s new on the menu, while Jaehyun got his usual iced americano.
The first two hours went by quickly with you and Jaehyun screaming out the lyrics to your favourite songs at the top of your lungs. You rolled down the windows too, relishing in the pleasant feeling of the refreshing summer breeze brushing against your skin. 
Before the trip, Jaehyun came up with a brilliant idea of creating a shared road trip playlist together. Your music tastes were similar to each other, so it was easy to add songs that both of you would definitely enjoy. Titled I got my driver’s licence last week, the playlist ended up being five hours and seventeen minutes long, with almost a hundred songs in it. 
Every now and then, Jaehyun would glance over to you with a questioning look on his face whenever one of Taylor Swift’s songs came on. He was not an avid listener of her songs, but he might as well be, from all the times you recommended her songs to him. Your obsession wasn’t something new to him, but he didn’t realise how most of the songs that you added into the playlist were hers until now. 
“At this point, you should just play her entire discography,” he said, sighing. It was only five seconds into the song, but he was already able to recognise it because of how often you listened to it.
“But it's cruel summer!” you retorted back, feeding him a biscuit since his hands were on the steering wheel. “The title has the word ‘summer’ in it, so I had to add it in.” Jaehyun chuckled at your reasoning, but eventually gave in and sang along with you too. How could he not? He practically has the lyrics memorised all because of you.
The singing continued for the rest of the drive, but it wasn’t long before you got tired, simply sitting in your seat and bopping your head to the songs. Jaehyun also quietened down, eyes focused on the road since he’s taking an entirely new route that’s foreign to him. The songs were not as upbeat as before, and you found yourself dozing off every few minutes, the air conditioning making you even sleepier. Eyes shut, Jaehyun’s voice was the last thing that you heard before you completely drifted off to sleep, but you didn’t catch what he said to you. 
“… Mum said there’s a bowling alley at the country club. Let’s go there tonight?” 
Jaehyun’s eyes were still focused on the road, patiently waiting for your response. However, there was nothing except music playing from his speakers, making him tilt his head quizzically. Were you even listening to him?
Jaehyun briefly turned to your direction, and he felt a smile creeping up on his face once he saw you. Phone clutched in your hand, you’d fallen asleep, head dangerously close to hitting against his car window. He’d always known that you would end up falling asleep if you had to travel for more than two hours, but he still found it amusing whenever he caught you doing that.
Shifting his attention back to the road, he continued driving until he exited the expressway, finding a suitable spot for him to stop the car by the side of the road. He reached over to the backseat to get his pillow, carefully positioning it between your head and the window so as to not wake you from your slumber. He also took the spare hoodie that he left in his car to cover over your body as a makeshift blanket. 
Before leaning back into his seat, Jaehyun took in the sight of your sleeping figure for another time, and it took everything in him to not press a kiss against your cheek. 
These days, he’s finding it increasingly difficult to be around you, for the sole reason that your presence made it feel as though his heart was going to burst out of his chest. As much as he likes you, he didn’t know how much longer he could hide his feelings. He’s been doing well all these years, so why now? 
Perhaps it’s because the topic of relationships has started to come up more in your recent conversations with him. Expressing your concern about not being able to find the one, you told him that maybe you should be more serious about your love life and actually put yourself out on the market. He laughed it off and told you that it wasn’t something that you had to worry about, but deep down, it awakened the unmistakable feelings of panic and jealousy in him. That someday, you’ll be with someone who’s not him. 
Jaehyun doesn’t know what he’ll do when that happens. 
It was ironic, really. 
A part of him wanted to muster up the courage to shoot his shot. It’s risky, but even if he missed, at least he tried and wouldn’t be left with any regret. At the same time, however, the thought of potentially destroying your friendship outweighed everything else, and it would be selfish of him to prioritise his feelings over what the both of you have built together over the years. 
“Yuno,” you called out, breaking Jaehyun out of his thoughts. 
He looked at you, surprised, since you didn’t usually call him that. In fact, you’re the only person who ever calls him that. He leaned in closer to hear you properly, but he’s unable to make out your incoherent mumbles. He sighed, not knowing what to do with you, or more specifically, his feelings for you. But before he could let his thoughts of you consume him again, he started the engine and continued the drive to the villa. Because if there’s one thing that Jaehyun’s good at, it’s pretending.
Jaehyun pretends to be unaffected each time you have a new eye candy in school, when on the inside, he secretly hoped that it won’t progress to anything beyond that. He pretends that you’re not the reason for his past breakups because he always saw glimpses of you in every single one of his dating partners. But most of all, he pretends that he cares and looks out for you in the name of being your best friend, when in reality, it is the only way he can be affectionate with you like lovers do.
Jaehyun guessed the bowling alley could wait. After all, he has the entire summer with you.
Summer isn’t summer if you didn’t visit the beach, so that’s where you and Jaehyun went today. Except, it was apparent that the two of you had very different ideas about what to do at the beach.
“You’re not seriously reading a book at the beach.” Jaehyun stared at you with judgmental eyes.
You glanced up at Jaehyun, ignoring how he looked almost offended before flipping over to the next page. “I’m on the last chapter.” 
Jaehyun took the empty spot next to you under the shade, attempting to snatch the book out of your hands, but to no avail as you turned your body away from him. “Stop it. We can do whatever you want later, let me finish this first.” 
“We don’t have all day,” he grumbled. 
In spite of his complaints, Jaehyun obediently sat there while he waited for you to finish the novel. Soon he got bored and started to pick out the seashells that were scattered across the sand, gathering them in the palm of his hand. Since he didn’t move beyond the shade, you tried your best to not get distracted by his movements, until he moved back to his original spot, calling for your attention to show you the seashells that he’d collected.
“This one’s pretty,” you pointed at one of the seashells that took on the shape of a traditional hand fan.  
“Right?” Jaehyun took the seashell that you picked out, leaning in closer to you. 
You backed away instinctively. “What are you doing?”
He wordlessly raised the seashell, holding it up to your ear. “Just listen.”
You could hear the afternoon waves crawling gently to the shore, the metramonic lulling making you feel like you were sitting by the water there and then, even though you were relatively far away from the edge of the water. Eyes widened, you looked over at Jaehyun in fascination, amazed by how such a phenomenon was possible. 
“I know,” he said, as though he could read your mind. 
After what felt like hours to Jaehyun, you were finally done with your book. He didn’t want to waste any more time and practically dragged you along with him. 
The both of you tried standup paddleboarding for a few hours, but it always ended with Jaehyun laughing at you whenever you lost your balance. Too bad for you, your best friend was a natural at sports, so you couldn’t poke fun at him the same way he did to you, and the best you could do was shoot daggers at him. 
You thought that the both of you would return to the villa after that as you and Jaehyun took a slow stroll along the beach, leaving your footprints along the trail. That is, until Jaehyun suddenly carried you up in one swift movement when you weren’t paying attention to him, and the next thing you knew, you were in the water. 
“Jeong Yuno!”
You shouted at him once you got up from the water surface, raking your fingers through your hair to get it out of your face. 
Jaehyun stuck his tongue out. “Come and get me if you can!”
“Oh, I will.” You took large strides towards the shore, determined to drag Jaehyun into the water too. He wasn’t really making a run for it, and that spurred you on to go faster, making it far enough to be just an arm’s length away from him.
Before you could reach out to grab him, however, your foot came into contact with something sharp and hard, causing you to let out a loud shriek. You didn’t know what you stepped on, but it was so painful that you could feel your legs giving up on you. Closing your eyes as though it would cushion the impact of the fall, you were surprised to feel an arm wrapped around your waist instead. You slowly opened your eyes, only to come face to face with Jaehyun. Eyebrows drawn together, his concerned eyes glazed over yours to check if you were okay.
“Be careful, will you?” Jaehyun murmured. “You’re always making me worried for no reason.” You swallowed hard, trying your hardest to feign ignorance at how his body was pressing against yours, so close that even the thin piece of cloth separating your bodies didn’t stop you from being able to feel the outline of his well-defined abs.
You looked away from him for a moment to recollect yourself, and that seemed to make Jaehyun think that you got hurt somewhere else. Letting go of your waist, Jaehyun bent down in an attempt to check on your supposedly injured foot. A mistake on his part, it seemed, Jaehyun was caught off guard and hastily pushed into the water seconds later.
You smiled in victory, bursting into fits of laughter once you saw Jaehyun’s priceless face. “Gotcha!”
In retrospect, maybe Jaehyun should have insisted on going to the bowling alley with you the first night you two reached the villa.
Six weeks into summer vacation, his extended family were invited over for an impromptu poolside party since they happened to be around the area. They were too tired to drive back by the time the party ended, so they crashed in the villa for the night. But one night turned into two, and they eventually decided to spend the entire summer here too.
And the thought of it was enough to make him clench his fist in anger.
It’s not that he hated them. Their families were pretty close, so this arrangement was not something out of the blue. But with them around, Jaehyun could hardly spend a moment with you in peace. Not just that, there’s been days in which Jaehyun woke up to texts of you cancelling plans, and he didn’t even know where you wandered off to.
It’s true that you and Jaehyun had the opportunity to explore different places of interest around the town. From paddleboarding at the beach to renting bicycles at the park, he has had his fair share of quality time with you to try out new activities you haven’t done together before. Minus the bowling alley, of course, because it somehow slipped Jaehyun's mind.
Still, no amount of time spent with you would ever be enough for him.
Ever since his extended family joined, you’ve been around his cousin a lot more than he’d liked. To make things worse, his cousin did not have a very good concept of personal space either. Catching his incessant touches on your arm or shoulder, Jaehyun was unable to suppress the green-eyed monster in him.
Johnny Suh was a little bit of a handful. 
Notorious for his reputation as a player who changes his significant other every two weeks, you’re someone that Jaehyun would never let him get close to, even if Johnny was the last person left on earth. If he had to be honest, he wasn’t even sure if those people were even significant enough to be called his significant other, but that’s beside the point. The point was that his efforts were proven to be futile, especially from the way that you didn’t mind how Johnny has his arm around your shoulder, giggling at the sweet nothings that he whispered in your ear.
Jaehyun wasn’t used to any of this. He recalls a conversation he had with you in the kitchen where he tried warning you about Johnny, but it was apparent that his words fell on deaf ears. 
“He’s just being friendly,” you said, and Jaehyun had to physically hold himself back from letting out another sigh. 
For the lack of a better word, he thought that you were being really stupid. You might not have had much experience in the dating scene, but surely, you’ve spotted Johnny flirting with random strangers at the country club before. Even if you didn’t personally witness it with your eyes, you must have at least heard him flirting with people over the phone. That should’ve been sufficient for you to see that Johnny wasn’t serious about you.
“He's my cousin, I'm sure I know him better than you do,” Jaehyun retaliated. Why were you being so stubborn? It was not like you at all.
“Okay and?”
You kept your phone in your pocket and looked up at him, rolling your eyes. “Do you want an award for that? Why must you consistently prove that you’re better than me?”
Jaehyun scoffed, unable to believe the words coming out of your mouth. Turning off the tap, the kitchen was filled with the clanging sound of Jaehyun angrily placing the washed plates and mugs back into the dish holder. “Is that what you really think of me? A competitive asshole? After all these years we’ve spent together, that’s all you have to say about me?”
You fell silent. Regret instantly showed in your eyes, and even Jaehyun knew that you only said it in the heat of the moment, but it was still hurtful. He hated this. It was inevitable for arguments to arise in friendships, but lately, that was all the both of you did. Argue. And it was always over Johnny. 
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” Jaehyun spoke again, back leaning against the kitchen counter as he turned to face you.
“I wouldn’t be saying all of this if I didn't care about you.” His tone was much gentler than before, because honestly, he didn’t have it in him to stay mad at you too. “I’m just looking out for you, as a friend.”
A friend, he said.
“Then as my friend, can’t you be happy for me?” Jaehyun felt the touch of your hand over his, your gazes locked. “You know better than anyone how much this means to me, so can’t you let me have it?”
He can’t. 
More than anyone, Jaehyun wished for your happiness. But he also wished that you could see where he’s coming from. It goes without saying that he’ll be happy for you if you found someone, but Johnny is really not who you think he is, and definitely not the one for you.
Jaehyun pulled his hand away, causing you to take a step back at how cold he was acting. It was evident that he’d given up and didn’t want to continue the conversation. Because to him, there was no point in talking if you were not going to listen to him. Body turned towards the door, he slowly made his way out of the kitchen.
“Jae, about earlier, I–”
“Save it.” His footsteps came to a halt, but Jaehyun did not even bother turning back to spare you a single glance. It was awful that he cut you off, but it couldn’t possibly compare to what he said next, the words cutting right through your heart.
“Just don’t come crying to me later on.” 
Looking back, Jaehyun wished he could turn back time because he’s sorry for being so harsh towards you, for unintentionally starting a cold war. Other than greeting each other when your parents were around, it really killed him that you barely spoke to him. 
It killed him even more right now to see you by Johnny's side, affectionately leaning into his touch. And because ignorance is bliss, Jaehyun averted his eyes right before you pressed your lips against Johnny’s, hiding behind a corner where he faded away with the rest of the world that no longer seemed to have you in it.
–  
In the course of your friendship, Jaehyun was always the first to reach out to you, attempting to patch things up whenever the two of you fought, taking the blame even if it wasn’t entirely his fault. And while you acknowledge how unfair it is to him, you could never find the right words to say to him, and by the time you figure it out, he’d have beaten you to it. Of course, you would admit that you were also in the wrong, but it still feels bad that he’s constantly the one giving in to you.
This time, however, you were convinced that he did not want anything to do with you anymore. 
It’s been almost two weeks since the two of you argued, but Jaehyun has yet to approach you. Considering how your previous fights never lasted for more than a week, you wondered if the friendship could still be salvaged. 
In an attempt to clear your mind, you decided to go out to get some fresh air. So here you were, sitting on a swing in the park. And even though it’s not the same, it reminded you of the neighbourhood playground that you and Jaehyun always went to when you were much younger. Gone were the carefree times where the only thing the both of you worried about was how you were going to talk the adults into letting you play a little longer before going home. 
You think you miss Jaehyun a little more than you usually do today.
Maybe it’s a sign for you to reach out and apologise first. It’s just two simple words, and Jaehyun has said it to you so many times before, so there’s no reason that you couldn’t do it. But admitting to your wrongs is always a difficult thing to do, even if it’s your best friend that you’re being honest and vulnerable with. Or rather, because he’s your best friend, all the more it makes it harder for you to swallow your pride, because he was right about Johnny after all. 
True to Jaehyun’s words, you were nothing more than a side piece to Johnny. Coming and leaving as he pleased, your iMessage conversation with Johnny was increasingly filled with blue speech bubbles only. Even if he did text back, his responses were often one-word replies or things that were difficult to reply to, as if his intention was to end the conversation there and then.
It was not a nice feeling at all. 
Although things between the both of you have ended, thoughts about Johnny didn’t fail to make you tear up.
You hated how desperate you were during that time, shredding every piece of dignity you had in you to hold onto Johnny in hopes that he would do the same too. Spending most of his time on his phone instead of sparing you his attention, cutting short your hangouts, openly flirting with other girls in your presence; you still decided to put your trust in Johnny and ignored all these signs that blatantly presented themselves to you. 
Why? Because he was the first ever person that made you feel like you’d be able to experience the love that you always dreamed about. It would be too far a reach to say that he was your first love, but he was undoubtedly the first person to ever make you have feelings you didn’t know you had, both good and bad. The last straw was him accidentally calling you by another name, and you weren’t sure how you were supposed to end something that never really started, but you did by deleting every trace of Johnny in your phone. And eventually, your life. It was a difficult step, but one you had to take.
Never mind that your first experience with the closest resemblance to love was agonising, you were also on the brink of losing your best friend that you’ve practically known your entire life. You went from seeing him every day to almost forgetting how his voice sounded, as though a part of your soul had been taken away from you. You don’t know why you quarrelled with Jaehyun. It was not worth it though, that much you’d know.  
Gaze fixated on a little girl and boy playing on the see-saw, the feelings of despair grew stronger, and the sight of them made your heart clench. It’s not fair, the way everything reminded you of him. You tried to push the thoughts of him to the back of your mind to convince yourself that you didn’t care about him, but the tear that escaped your eye betrayed you.
If only you had listened to him then.
“I’ll be at the balcony. Call me if you need anything!”
Your dad hummed in response, momentarily looking up at you walking up the stairs before returning his attention to the barbeque pit, entirely focused on grilling the meat.
Summer was about to come to an end, and so was your stay at the villa. By the courtesy of Jaehyun’s and your parents who thought that it’ll be a good way to end the vacation with a barbeque party, they’ve been planning it together over the past few weeks. As opposed to you and Jaehyun who were still not on talking terms, it’s unfortunate that you didn’t manage to find an opportunity to properly apologise to Jaehyun. He was avoiding you, it seemed, from the way he’d devour his meal within minutes and return to his room, door shut and locked. There was never a chance for you to approach him, and soon you gave up even trying knowing that it would be a waste of your time. You didn’t want to ruin the party tonight knowing how much planning went into it, so you tried not to think too much about Jaehyun too.
The balcony had a splendid view that oversaw the small town; it was especially pretty when the sun set and rose. You’d accidentally discovered it a few days ago when a bird flew to the balcony railing, its loud chirps waking you up from your sleep. Groggily getting up to chase the bird away, you noticed how the morning sun was situated perfectly on the horizon. Its bright orange hue unlike anything you’ve ever seen before, the small town came to life during those few blissful minutes. 
Not wanting to miss the last sunset before you left the villa, you made sure to check the sunset time and even set an alarm for it. Today, the cloud cover was more extensive, which provided a beautiful contrast to the pinkish hues that splattered across the sky. As you took in the scenic landscape in front of you, you were in awe of how fast the colours changed even if you looked away only for a few minutes, very much like how fast the entire summer went by. 
“Mind if I join?”
Your solitude gets interrupted by a voice, and you almost jumped because of the sudden intrusion. But the moment it hit you, whose voice it was, it was your heart that really almost jumped. 
“Sure.” You pondered if you should turn behind. You don’t know how you’d react, seeing him again after such a long time, even though you’ve been meaning to see him because you only caught him whenever he passed by the hallway over the past few days. Not to mention, these rare sightings were extremely short-lived too. His voice alone was enough to make you break. Jaehyun eventually put an end to your dilemma by standing next to you, his arms crossed, elbows resting against the railing.
You felt like exploding.
You sneaked a peek at Jaehyun through your peripheral vision. He was wearing a plain black tee, which was basically what he wore every other day, and somehow you find yourself missing the sight of him appearing in the same few clothes that he owned. A small smile was playing on his lips as he looked over the horizon, and you thought about how if it wasn’t for the ongoing cold war between the both of you, this would have been an adorable moment that you shared together – watching the sunset. 
“It's so beautiful,” Jaehyun mused, and only when he spoke did you catch a whiff of alcohol on his breath.
“Have you been drinking?”
Voice laced with concern, you turned to him fully this time, getting a clearer view of his face. While his cheeks were not tinted red, his droopy eyes definitely gave it away. You didn’t even have to hear his reply to know the answer to your question. 
A lazy smile formed on his face, dimples peeking out. “Just a few glasses,” he said, slowly closing the distance between the two of you. It almost took you back to the day at the beach.
Jaehyun rested his chin on your shoulder, caging your small frame in his arms. You were taken aback by the sudden physical intimacy, considering how he’d not looked you in the eye for more than five seconds since the argument broke out. You’re not sure if it’s because of the close proximity or because he’d been drinking, but it was tremendously warm, and you could feel your body heating up too. It was warm in a good way, however, and because you couldn’t deny that you missed your best friend dearly, you returned the hug too. 
Jaehyun called your name, pulling away from the hug first. Staring deeply like this into his honey brown eyes is akin to the feeling of putting on your favourite cardigan, and it makes you realise just how much you missed him, his hugs, and everything else about him. 
“I missed you,” Jaehyun mumbled, his voice low. And if it weren’t for the fact that his face was just inches away from yours, you would’ve missed what he said. What struck you more was how he verbalised exactly what you were thinking of at that moment, even more so knowing that it wasn’t typical of Jaehyun to say such things.
You leaned back slightly, slowly letting go of him. “You’re drunk, Jaehyun.”
“So I can’t miss you when I’m drunk?” he challenged, pulling you even closer to him. His gaze on you didn’t falter, and the intensity of it made you want to scream; he has never looked at you like that before.
“No,” you muttered, “but you don’t usually act like that.”
“What if I want to?”
He was genuinely making you puzzled. “Huh?”
“What if I want to be this close to you all the time?” 
You let out a harsh breath at his words, trying to break free of his hold. “Let’s talk when you’re sober.”
A mirthless laugh escaped Jaehyun’s lips, your response making him look away for a moment before turning back to you. “I have a high tolerance. You know I never get drunk.” 
His hands were no longer around your waist, and you wondered if something happened for him to behave this way. You didn’t even understand the hidden layers of meaning behind his words, but it wasn’t something you wanted to think about when the both of you have yet to resolve your previous argument. If anything, he was confusing you even more with his words and actions.
“We should talk about this another time,” you insisted.
“No,” Jaehyun protested, bringing a hand up to tuck away stray pieces of hair behind your ear. You felt small under his gaze, shy because of his affectionate gestures. At a loss of words, it was difficult for you to predict where this was heading, but you prayed that it wouldn’t end up in another argument. A brief silence took over as neither of you said anything, until you noticed his eyes trailing down to your lips. 
“I want to kiss you so bad.”
“Jaehyun,” you gasped in shock. You put your hand on his chest to push him away, withdrawing it as soon as there was a considerable amount of space between you two.
“Don’t say such things when you’re not in the right state of mind.” Even though those words were meant for Jaehyun, it felt as though you were trying to convince yourself instead. That your best friend definitely didn’t see you in that way, and that it was just the alcohol talking. Yet, as you watched how the smile on his face fell when you pushed him away, it was getting harder to convince yourself otherwise.
“But I do,” he said, eyes searching your face for any signs of discomfort before carefully taking a step closer to bring you into a hug again, your forehead resting against his chest. “I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. But I really want to kiss you. On the lips.” 
You immediately shook your head. “We can’t.”
“Why? Is it because of Johnny?” Jaehyun questioned, the pain in his voice went unhidden. 
“I’ve ended things with Johnny,” you clarified quickly, and for some reason it didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would, admitting that to Jaehyun. 
“Then why can’t we kiss?”
You blew out your cheeks, dumbfounded at how he was asking the obvious. “Because best friends are not supposed to kiss each other.” 
“You’re not just a best friend to me,” he stated. 
“Jaehyun, don’t do this.” You huffed, frustratedly cutting in before he could continue as you did not anticipate his confession. 
But he’d only moved his hand up, holding you in place through the form of gentle pats on your head, like he was silently telling you to listen to what he had to say. Knowing that this was going to come up again even if you avoided it now, you decided to give in, leaning into his warmth. Once he felt you relax, Jaehyun drew in a long breath before speaking again. 
“I like you so much,” Jaehyun started, the sense of resignation embedded within his confession so apparent that it made you curious just how long he’d been bottling this up for. “I really like you so much, I think it might even be love.” He repeated, as though you didn’t hear him right the first time. And if his words made your heart flutter, you pretended that it didn’t, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to feel how fast your heart was racing.
“But I knew it was wrong to have romantic feelings for my best friend. I wasn’t going to jeopardise our friendship, so I did everything I could to get rid of them. Told myself it was just a phase, and even started dating around,” Jaehyun continued. 
“It didn’t work, obviously,” he chuckled bitterly. “I ended up liking you more and more every day, I thought I was going crazy. For a while, it was easy for me to just ignore my feelings,” he hesitated for a moment before resuming.
“Until Johnny came into the picture.” 
You were steeped in guilt, grateful that your face was buried in Jaehyun’s chest. 
“I hated that you dropped me to be with him. Fuck, it hurt me so much to see the two of you doing things I’ve always longed to do with you. It’s true that he’s a player but all I wanted was to be selfish and keep you for myself. I felt stupid and sorry for not being to able to stop you from getting hurt, because that’s not how you’d protect someone you like.” 
“Don’t be sorry. It’s my fault for not listening,” you murmured. While you didn’t want to ruin the moment, you thought it was important to let Jaehyun know that getting involved with Johnny was solely your decision, and that it wasn’t something he could take the blame for even if he wanted to. It was also part of what you’ve been wanting to tell him in the few times that you attempted to approach him. 
Jaehyun tenderly threaded his hand through your hair upon hearing your apology, but neither accepted nor rejected it. “I know it’s unfair of me to suddenly dump all of this on you, but I can’t hold it in anymore. You don’t have to do anything about it, I just wanted to let you know that…” He huffed, “I really, really, really, like you a lot… Buttercup.” 
Buttercup. 
Hearing that nickname aroused unexplainable feelings within you, partly because Jaehyun didn’t call you that often. It was an inside joke that started in middle school, when you told him that Buttercup was your favourite Powerpuff Girl character because you found her really cool. Mischievous since young, Jaehyun responded by saying that it was really fitting because the two of you shared the same grouchy face, especially on early mornings when you had to wake up for school. He never stopped teasing you since then and would call you that whenever an opportunity arises. 
This time, however, there was a hint of adoration behind the nickname that was definitely far from concealed. And you don’t think you want Jaehyun to stop calling you that. 
You felt Jaehyun press a soft kiss to the crown of your head, rendering you speechless because it made you forget what you wanted to say to him. It was too late, by the time you fully processed what had happened, for Jaehyun had already walked away, leaving you alone on the balcony just as you were waiting for the sunset earlier.
Only, the sun had already gone down. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to bask in the lovely afterglow that painted the sky when all you could focus on was the darkness surrounding it. 
It was indeed a cruel summer. 
– 
“Dude, so you just walked away after pouring your heart out to her? And the kiss. Dude, I really thought you would’ve gone for her lips!” 
Jaehyun almost spat out his food at Mark’s exclamation, not expecting the younger boy to raise his voice. Jaehyun’s eyes rapidly scanned the cafeteria to see if anyone heard him, and was relieved to see that they were busily engaged with their conversations to catch what Mark said. 
“Not loud enough, Mark. You should just announce it through the PA system and make sure even people in the Design School can hear you,” Jaehyun scowled at Mark, causing him to quickly apologise with a sheepish smile. 
The Design School was located on the other end of the campus from where they were, so Jaehyun probably wouldn’t have the cheek to turn up for classes if they could actually hear him. Though, Mark technically couldn’t be blamed for being so excited, since it’s not every day that he got an update on his close friend’s love life. He’d been invested in this for years. 
“But to answer your question, yeah. I’ve been avoiding her because I don’t know what else I should do,” Jaehyun said, mindlessly using his fork to play with his food instead of putting it into his mouth. He didn’t have much of an appetite. He didn’t even feel like he deserved to eat after what he pulled. Still, he had to get something into his system, because if not, there was no way he would survive afternoon practice later.
“Oh man,” Mark said, a tinge of disappointment in his voice. “She probably feels like shit though,” he added, his eyes widening immediately after realising the implication of his words. 
“Not saying you don’t feel like shit too, but you know, like, getting ignored after all that. I’d be bat shit confused,” he attempted to clear up. 
It’s occasionally difficult to comprehend Mark’s words because he speaks in the same way that he thinks, as though he’s still trying to piece his thoughts together, but Jaehyun knew what he was trying to get at. Mark did have a point, however. A point that, as Mark put it, made Jaehyun feel like shit. He knew better than anyone that it was wrong of him to leave you hanging without an explanation of any sort. 
“So you think I should approach her first?” 
Mark shook his head. “It’s not up to me to tell you what to do,” he replied, scraping up the remaining few bits of his food before taking a spoonful of it. “Just think that at the end of the day, you should follow your heart. Put aside the whole friends since childhood thing. There’s no way things would go back to how they were anyway.”
If you told Jaehyun five years ago that he’d be receiving advice on his love life from Mark, he’d probably laugh at you until he had tears in his eyes. Mark wasn’t a bad adviser, per se, and he could trust Mark to be a hundred percent honest with him. Jaehyun simply found the entire situation laughable, how it’d all come down to this. 
Following his heart… Jaehyun couldn’t do that easily, especially not when it’s something that he’d been trying to hold himself back from doing all these years. He always had to think logically and thoroughly consider what would happen to your friendship if he decided to act upon his feelings – and all the possible outcomes that came up in his head often didn’t end well. Following his heart? It was much easier to follow his head. It was already unsettling enough that he was so open and vulnerable with you about his feelings given that he rarely showed that side of himself to you, or anyone else for that matter. Coupled with that, is the difficulty of casually slotting himself back into your life to talk about what had happened; it’s not as if he was going to ask you about the weather. Decisions, decisions… Jaehyun was both curious and afraid to know how this would play out. 
“Alright man, I gotta go for my next class.” Mark pulled out his chair, the sound of metal creaking against the cafeteria floor. “It was nice catching up. I’ll update you on how she’s doing so don’t worry too much, okay? See you at practice later.” There was a nice ring of assurance to Mark’s voice, and it made Jaehyun grateful that you and Mark shared the same classes so he could still look out for you through him.
“Thanks bro,” Jaehyun said with a sincere smile on his face. Even though he still didn’t know what he was going to do, at least there is now a glimmer of hope that lies still in his heart.
If there was one word that you could use to describe how you were feeling, it would be sorrow. Several days have passed since that night but you’ve yet to hear from Jaehyun. Initially, you were worried about him and thought that he needed some time and space alone. So you gave that to him. After all, it probably took him a lot of courage to say those words to you. 
But one day turned into two, and soon, it became a week. You began to doubt Jaehyun’s feelings for you and wondered if he meant what he said, or if it was just the alcohol talking. Surely, this was no way to treat someone you claimed to like.
Truthfully, it’s been quite some time since you came to know about Jaehyun’s feelings for you. Or rather, had an inkling that he didn’t just view you platonically. You just chose to ignore it. For several reasons, but mostly the fact that your seventeen-year-long friendship was on the line.
In recent years, you started to notice the way that Jaehyun would pay special attention to you. There was nothing inherently wrong with that, since it’s normal for friends to look out for each other. But the foreign twinkle in his eye that started to show up when he listened to you talk about your day or complain about completing your assignments; it was difficult to brush it off as a friendly gesture when you were so used to him spacing out five minutes into your past conversations. 
Jaehyun also seemed to have taken a mental note of how forgetful you could be. More often than not, you’d forget to bring a hair tie out with you because you were always rushing out of the house. But at some point in time, together with his silver bracelet that he usually wore, Jaehyun would also have a black hair tie wrapped around his wrist. When he notices how your hair almost got into your food, he’d put down his utensils, chiding you as if you were a child while he tied your hair up into a simple ponytail.
And how could you possibly forget the time that he pulled an all-nighter to help you study for an exam? 
Jaehyun’s major was anything but closely related to yours, yet he took the time to familiarise himself with the important terms that you needed to know for the exam. Making flashcards so that it’ll be easier for you to remember those terms, Jaehyun even went as far as to record and send you audio notes explaining the concepts that your professor highlighted in your notes, which saved you so much revision time. All of this, simply because you made a comment in passing about how on top of that exam, you had so many other deadlines to meet in the same week, and he’d dropped everything to help you as if he didn’t already have a lot on his plate. He didn’t even ask for anything in return except for you to have a meal with him after the exam because he knew that you didn’t get to eat any proper food since submission week began.
It was certain that Jaehyun’s special treatment towards you made your heart do leaps and bounds, but you were in denial and didn’t want to believe that you saw your best friend in a different light. It was only when he confessed to you that you felt relieved. For all the times you thought you were committing a crime by overthinking every single interaction you had with him, even down to a simple text message from Jaehyun asking, “Did you sleep well? :)”
Perhaps a mistake on your part, but your friends were also Jaehyun’s friends. There were other people that you knew outside of that particular social circle, but they were people that you’d group as acquaintances, nothing more than polite greetings exchanged before and after lectures. It didn’t even matter that the both of you were neighbours because he wasn’t even around much. You didn’t dare to go knocking on his door in fear that he’ll just throw you another excuse to avoid you. 
Several nights, your hand hovered over Jaehyun’s contact in your phone. Typing, backspacing, typing, backspacing; these unsent messages ended up residing in your notes application for no one but yourself to read. Time spent away from Jaehyun was painful. Painful because it was only prolonging. 
Even walking home felt miserable because Jaehyun would usually be by your side, but only the music that played through your earbuds accompanied you.
This street was filled with memories that the both of you have made together over the years, and it was so painful thinking about how they turned into nothing once love came into play. It didn’t even take longer than a day for you to feel the full force of his absence in your life.
You hope you’ll never lose Jaehyun.  
“Hey ____, is my shoebag at the café?”
You got up from your chair, walking over to the other side of the table where Mark was seated previously. “Yup,” you said, pulling out his chair to find his black shoebag lying on it. “I didn’t even notice you left it here until you called.”
“Dang it. Could you bring it over for me? I wore slides today and there’s no way in hell I’m training in that. Coach would bench me.”
A particular someone filled your thoughts at once, and you turned quiet, almost forgetting that Mark was still on the line until you heard his voice again. “Jaehyun won’t be there if that’s what you’re worried about. He has an interview today.”
And that’s how you found yourself standing outside the indoor basketball court with Mark’s shoebag in hand. 
After the whole ordeal, Mark was the only person in Jaehyun’s social circle that really talked to you. Mainly because the both of you still had classes together, but you genuinely felt lucky that you still had company. If not, school would be so much harder to get through. 
Most of your conversations tended to gravitate toward school and assignments. Though, that didn’t stop Mark from dropping updates on how Jaehyun’s doing even if you never brought him up a single time. He was respectful about it, however, careful not to overstep. He also didn’t ask or say anything that would make you uncomfortable. And for that, you thought that the least you could do for Mark was to pass him his shoebag so that he wouldn’t get into trouble.
Your palm turned sweaty as it hovered over the doorknob, and it didn’t help that you could hear a bunch of rowdy voices from outside. Although Mark already assured you that Jaehyun wouldn’t be coming, the anxious feeling still didn’t go away. What if his teammates gave you shit for what happened? Or what if they ended up humiliating you? 
No. Jaehyun isn’t the type of person to talk bad about you behind your back. Besides, you’ve seen a few of his teammates around campus and they would still smile and wave at you. It was all in your head. Taking a deep breath, you opened the doorknob, resonating a click sound that echoed throughout the indoor court. 
“____!” within seconds, someone had already come running up to you, his arm thrown over your shoulder. 
“Hi Jungwoo!” 
“Have you been busy with school? We don’t see you around anymore,” Jungwoo pointed out, pouting. His child-like expression brought a smile to your face. Jungwoo was like a loveable little brother to you, always sharing his snacks with you whenever you stayed behind to wait for Jaehyun. 
Even though you felt apologetic on the inside, you still found yourself coming up with a lie so as to not make things awkward. “Sorry. It’s always hard adjusting back to the new semester, you know?” 
“Well, drop by when you’re free! I miss you. We all do.” Jungwoo said, and it wasn't long before the rest of the team flocked over to the benches where the both of you were standing. 
“You owe me one.” Throwing the shoebag over to Mark, it was fortunate that his fast reflexes prevented him from having a broken nose. He thanked you quickly before changing into his shoes. 
“I need to go to the washroom. I’ll leave my stuff here first.” You announced to no one in particular, hiding them behind Mark’s things on the benches. 
Despite being a regular visitor to their practices, their coach was admittedly not fond of you having you over because their break times always went beyond the designated duration, which ate into their practice time. The boys would always crowd around you and chat for a long time, forgetting what they were really there for. And since he had yet to arrive, you figured that it would be better to disguise your things as Mark’s first, lest the coach gets into a bad mood even before practice starts. You weren’t planning to stay for long, but you know, just in case. 
“It’s not like anyone is going to steal them,” Yuta remarked, a second too late. 
“You’re the reason I don’t come here anymore.” You deadpanned, your comeback making the rest of the boys playfully jeer at Yuta. 
Practice had already started while you were in the washroom, the beeping whistle that would sound every few seconds told you so. Peeking out from a corner, you took in the familiar sight of the team warming up, their shoes squeaking on the wooden flooring. Upon further scrutiny, however, your entire body stiffens once a familiar figure comes into sight. You could only see his back-view, but the white headband that he wore was recognizable anywhere. 
Didn’t Mark say he wouldn’t be here today? 
Your lips curled inwards thinking about how you were going to get out of here without getting noticed. The coach was the least of your concerns, it was Jaehyun that you worried about. You weren’t ready for any form of confrontation yet, not that you expected him to talk to you about it, and you didn’t want to watch him ignore you. Maybe you should just stay here until they end practice. You didn’t have anything on after this anyway. But you also couldn’t imagine waiting around here for hours, and potentially risk getting locked up in here for the night when you don’t actually end up making it out. Racking your brain for unfeasible ideas made you curse in frustration, it was clear that going out by where you came from was the only option.
You turned around the corner from where you were hiding, silently jogging to the benches where you left your things together with Mark’s. You gave the court a quick once over, exhaling in relief when you see them preoccupied with their drills. Gathering your things, you made a run for the exit while they weren’t looking.
“____, you’re leaving already?” Jungwoo’s voice stopped you in your tracks. It was too late to ask him to be quiet since he practically announced your exit to the entire court, but in a moment of panic, you ended up turning around even though you should have continued walking. Jaehyun’s eyes were on you. What shocked you more, however, was the unpleasant surprise that followed after.
Jaehyun, who was supposed to receive a pass from Sungchan, got distracted by you, or rather, Jungwoo saying bye to you. Ball hauled straight at Jaehyun, his teammates shouted at him to watch out, with Yuta even rushing over at the speed of light to hit the ball away. Which unfortunately, backfired, because while he managed to prevent Jaehyun from getting hit by the ball, Yuta ended up colliding into him, the both of them tumbling to the ground. 
“Are you okay?” You don’t know how you ended up in front of Jaehyun, but your trembling hands held him by the shoulder, your eyes glossing over his figure to check if he was okay. 
Jaehyun looked extremely pale, and that’s saying a lot given that he was already very fair to begin with. Eyelids shut, he was profusely breaking out in cold sweat. Their coach snapped his fingers to get Jaehyun’s attention, but there was hardly any response. 
“I’ll take him to the infirmary,” you said.
“Don’t be silly, ____. How are you going to carry him?” Yuta stood up while massaging his right shoulder, recovering from the fall faster than Jaehyun did because it wasn’t as severe for him.  
You unintentionally glared at Yuta because of his snide comment that always seemed to come up at the wrong time. Though, you thought it was warranted this time, because you were fretting over Jaehyun’s injury. Sensing your panic, Yuta raised two hands defensively. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’ll take him to the nurse. You get his things, I’ll meet you there.”
– 
The wait was awfully long. 
You didn’t want to disrupt the process so you stayed outside with Jaehyun’s things, waiting patiently until you could go in to check on him. You didn’t even feel an ounce of anger towards him, only thinking about whether he was okay or not, because it didn’t seem like he was. Judging from the past few times, you roughly knew that this time of the year was also nearing competition season, so you genuinely hoped that Jaehyun’s injury was nothing serious. It would be so demoralising for him if he had to sit out, and that’s the last thing you wanted for him. 
You hurriedly got up from your seat when you heard the door open, looking over to see the doctor walk out of the infirmary first, with Yuta following right behind. The doctor gave you a polite smile before leaving. 
“How is he?” you dared to ask.
A knowing chuckle left Yuta’s lips. “Your boyfriend’s fine.”
“Yuta.” Your death glare from earlier made a reappearance, and it caused him to straighten up before relaying the doctor’s words.
“Good news is that he didn’t fracture or break anything. The swelling went down after they iced his ankle, but…” Yuta’s voice trailed off.
“But?”
“He caught some flu bug that’s been going around school so his body is kind of weak. Doc said he needs to take a week off to recover, he even prescribed him antibiotics.” That explained his sickly complexion. 
“Can I go in to see him?”
Yuta nodded, holding the door open for you. “I’ll get going first. Take good care of your–”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
“… Boyfriend.” A triumphant smile on his face, Yuta got out of your sight even before you could do anything (throw your laptop at him). 
You walked into Jaehyun lying on the bed. His eyes were closed, but the sound of him humming to a tune told you that he wasn’t asleep. You crouched down to put both your things by the bedside, careful not to make a loud ruckus before settling down on the empty chair next to the bed. 
“I’m sorry.” Your voice came out as a whisper, as if you were scared to break the silence. 
Jaehyun’s eyelids fluttered open, now looking in your direction as he slowly sat up. “Why are you sorry? It’s not even your fault. I was careless and tripped.” Would it be a stretch to say that he tripped because of you? You’re not sure, but you somehow felt responsible for his current state. 
“Let me take care of you,” you offered.
“No. I don’t need you to take care of me.” 
“But you’re sick,” you persisted, “Stop being so stubborn.”
“I don’t really want to be around you, ____.” Jaehyun said coldly, and your heart sank upon hearing his words. It was hard to believe that this was the same guy who wore his heart on his sleeve. For you. 
You blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. “Do you really mean that?” 
“Yes.” Jaehyun’s reply came faster than you’d expected. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. What broke you was how he answered you with a stoic expression that was void of any emotion. 
“I can’t get rid of my feelings if I continue to be around you all the time.” Jaehyun explained, his head hanging low. “So just let me be, and we’ll be okay again once I get over you.”
I don’t want you to get over me.
You wanted to tell Jaehyun, how unfair it was that he never once asked you how you felt about everything, but no words left your mouth. You could only sit there, looking down at your hands, feeling unwanted in a space where even your best friend couldn’t tolerate your presence because you were hurting him as much as he was hurting you. Lines were blurred, and boundaries have been crossed. How could you bring yourself to believe that the two of you would be okay again? 
You fiddled with your hands, earning the courage to look Jaehyun in the eye again. “I’m still going to take care of you.” You said firmly, not allowing for Jaehyun to object before continuing. “It’s your feelings so you deal with it. I’m just here to take care of you”—you paused—“because friends are supposed to be there for each other no matter what. And unless you want me out of your life for good, then you can say no and I won’t bother you anymore.” 
–  
It wasn’t as easy as you thought it’ll be, taking care of Jaehyun. To be fair to him, he didn’t inconvenience you a lot since he spent most of his days in bed. He could still do simple chores, but since you offered to look after him, you made sure that he didn’t have to move around the house so as to focus on recuperating. But even all of that was manageable for you.
The difficult part was feeling like you had to walk on eggshells around him all the time. It didn’t seem fair that you knew about his feelings for you, because there were several instances in which you found yourself thinking: Is it too much? Am I giving him a harder time by doing this? 
So you kept your interactions with him short. 
The same could be said for today. It’s been a week since he fell sick, but Jaehyun was already feeling much better thanks to you. You didn’t have any classes so you stayed over at Jaehyun’s, catching up on your readings while he napped the day away. Even though he was close to recovering, it was unfortunate that the medication that he took was drowsy, so most of the time he spent, he spent asleep.
As it was nearing dinnertime, you decided to cook a simple meal for him so that he could continue taking his medication after getting some food in his system. Turning off the stove, you took a small spoon to taste the porridge, almost letting out a yelp because of how hot it was. You opened the cabinets directly above you, grabbing the salt and pepper to add just a tiny bit of each seasoning into the porridge, just like how Jaehyun would like it. You meticulously poured the porridge into an empty bowl, putting it on a tray before carrying it into Jaehyun’s room.
Leaving the door slightly ajar so that you could hear Jaehyun from the living room in case he needed anything, you were welcomed with the sight of him tucked under the covers, still deep in sleep. Setting the tray down on his bedside table, you walked over to sit on the edge of his bed. You ruffled stray pieces of his hair away to feel his forehead. He had a bit of a temperature earlier, but the medicine seemed to have helped in bringing it down. 
You gently woke Jaehyun up, asking him to eat. Sleep still evident in his eyes, you thought he looked cute with his lower lip protruding out as it took some time for him to sit up, mindlessly looking around his room to process his surroundings. You almost felt bad for interrupting his sleep, but you didn’t have much of a choice because this was his first proper meal of the day, only settling for bread earlier because he said he didn’t have any appetite. 
You took the bowl in your hands, taking one spoonful of the food. Blowing lightly at it to cool off the heat, you fed it to Jaehyun who was still staring into blank space. 
“How are you feeling?” you asked, feeding Jaehyun another mouthful.
“Better,” he said, voice deep and raspy because he’d just woken up. “Still feeling sleepy though.”
“You can go back to sleep after this,” you said with a quiet laugh.
Silence took over as Jaehyun continued to have his meal, but it was neither uncomfortable nor tense. In fact, it was almost like things had gone back to how they originally were, where the two of you were able to spend the entire day without even talking to each other until you were done with your own things. 
Jaehyun took his medication once he finished his meal, chugging down the last bits of water from his 1.5 litre bottle too. You got up from his bed, putting the bowl back onto the tray. 
“I’ll leave the door open again so just shout if you need anything.” You don’t wait for Jaehyun to respond before turning your back to him, getting ready to leave. But he’d surprise you by extending a hand out to your arm, the sudden contact almost causing you to drop the tray. You promptly turned to look at him.
“Can we–”Jaehyun choked out, his voice still hoarse–“can we cuddle?”
With his hand still on your arm, you stood rooted to the ground. The voices in your head fighting with each other at his proposition, you didn’t know how to answer him. Cuddling with each other wasn’t something new, but in light of recent events, you weren’t so sure if the two of you should be doing something so intimate together.
Sighing, you put the tray away before holding onto Jaehyun’s hand. “I’ll do the dishes and come back up, okay?” it felt like you were talking to a child, the way you were so gentle with him as if he was going to break. He nodded, finally letting go of your arm. 
Technically, it wouldn’t hurt to leave the dishes untouched for a while. But you needed that time away to mentally prepare yourself… to be that close to Jaehyun again after such a long time. As you loaded the dirty cutlery into the dishwasher, memories of his confession came rushing to your head. All you could think about were the words he said to you and how it felt to be in his warm embrace. 
You could feel your heart thumping against your chest as you went up to Jaehyun’s room. Closing the door, you laid down on the empty side of the bed next to him. You were cautious at first, but soon that went away when his arm reached out to bring your body closer to his. 
You tried not to think about how right it felt to be in his arms. Holding you in a way that was not in the least uncomfortable, you don’t think that anyone else would know you better than Jaehyun did. 
“Good night, Buttercup,” Jaehyun said, his voice lulling you to sleep.
–  
For the first time in a while, Jaehyun felt well-rested. He didn’t usually have trouble falling asleep, but with so much going on recently, he rarely woke up feeling content.
But the bed felt warmer today, and he knew that it’s because of you. He didn't even plan to ask you to cuddle with him, but he unknowingly blurted it out, and you agreed. 
Jaehyun tilted his head, supporting it with one hand while he looked at you. His feelings for you were all coming back to him again, not that they were ever gone in the first place. He’d simply pushed them aside, convincing himself that he’d be able to get over you. 
But that’s the thing. Because he kept avoiding them, all the more they continued to plague him. Granted, he lied about things being able to go back to how they were, but if he didn’t lie, how else was he supposed to continue staying by your side? 
Jaehyun’s predicament was put on hold as you stirred in your sleep, opening your eyes one at a time before you looked up at him with a lop-sided grin. 
“Morning,” you greeted. 
Jaehyun returned the smile. “Did you sleep well?”
You nodded. “Best sleep I had in a while.”
“Thanks for staying with me even though you didn’t have to.” 
You got up from his bed, stretching your entire body. “It’s no problem. Do you want breakfast? I can whip something up real quick.” 
Jaehyun followed suit, also standing up to make his bed. He spreaded the blanket cover over the mattress, tucking in the corners. “No thanks. I’ll be heading out soon to meet Da-eun at the newly opened café at Med School to—”
“Da-eun?” Jaehyun looked up, frowning at how you didn’t let him finish talking. 
“Yeah, Da-eun. She’s in the same year as us. Remember?” Jaehyun, though confused, didn’t miss the dejected look on your face.
“I’m so sick and tired of this, Jaehyun.”
“What’s wrong with you? I didn’t even do anything,” Jaehyun huffed. Are you seriously picking another fight with him now? 
“Didn’t do anything?” you scoffed. “You’re hurting me, Jaehyun.” 
Jaehyun’s eyes softened after hearing your words.
“You confessed to me and pretended I didn’t exist for weeks. If you really liked me, you wouldn’t ask me to cuddle with you and then go on a date with another girl the next day. You say one thing but do another. I don’t know what I’m supposed to believe when you keep confusing me but for some stupid reason my heart still flutters every time you do or say something sweet,” you rubbed your temples, sighing. “I guess it doesn’t even matter that I like you because this is a joke to you. I’m tired and I don’t want to be a part of your games anymore.” 
Jaehyun couldn’t stop himself from breaking into a wide smile. “You like me?”
You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “Out of everything I said, that’s the only thing you caught?” 
“I wasn’t even done talking,” Jaehyun retorted, going over to the other side of the bed where you stood. The grin on his face didn’t disappear. “I’m meeting Da-eun to complete our paired assignment. I was going to say that we can go to the café the next time if the food’s good.”
Jaehyun looked at you earnestly. “And for the record, I still like you. There’s no need to be jealous.”
“I’m not jealous!”
Jaehyun’s smile is graced with fondness this time. Looming closer to you, he gently pushed you against the wall, trapping you in between his arms. He looked down at your lips and then back at your eyes, trying to hold back his laughter when he saw that you’ve closed them. Leaning in, Jaehyun placed a tender kiss on your right cheek.
You opened your eyes, sulking. “What happened to wanting to kiss me on the lips?” 
“Patience, Buttercup. Don’t want to spread whatever virus I have to you. Promise I’ll make it up to you next time.” He left another kiss on your left cheek. 
“I think I like seeing you jealous.” Jaehyun added as an afterthought, which earned him a smack on the shoulder from you. 
–  
You and Jaehyun were currently lying against the couch in his living room, feeling like you were about to enter a food coma. It was supposed to be movie night, but the jjamppong was so filling that you two could crash until the next morning. Earlier that day, you’d woken up to a text message from Jaehyun asking you to check your laptop. He claimed that he accidentally saved his assignment in it, and needed you to forward it over to him because it was due in two hours. Rather unbelievable for a Dean’s Lister, but you gave him the benefit of doubt and went ahead to check your laptop anyway.
When you turned it on, you were welcomed by a grey pop-up window. It was completely empty, and despite clicking on the cross button several times, the window simply refused to close. You mentally cursed thinking that you got hacked. You were about to contact Jaehyun about it until a few messages came up in the same window.
Hi girlfriend ♡
I hope I didn’t scare you :) hahaha. 
Your computer is attacked by a virus. 
But if you wear my jersey to the game later, I will wipe it out for you.
Do you accept it? 
The question appeared with two options below: yes and no. You shook your head at another one of Jaehyun’s antics, already envisioning the whimsical smile on his face while coding all of this. He could be using his degree for greater purposes, yet here he was, pranking his poor girlfriend with a pseudo virus attack. You moved your mouse over to click yes, and another series of messages came up.
Wise choice!
I’ve left the jersey in your closet next to where my hoodies are.
See you later and don’t be late.
Love you.
So as promised, you wore Jaehyun’s jersey to his match. The second he saw you, he couldn’t stop smiling. His teammates kept making ooh and aah noises, you had to shush them from afar so that they would stop teasing your boyfriend. Eyes on him the entire time, you were beyond proud when his team had successfully emerged as champion again, the both of you exchanging sweet smiles with each other after the game ended. After which, Jaehyun came home to you, celebrating the end of the season with Chinese takeout.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You already did,” Jaehyun quipped. 
You moved away from him, faking anger. You tried standing up, but that only gave Jaehyun a chance to grab your arm, pulling you down to sit on his lap. “Ask, baby.”
“Why do you hold three fingers up during your games? Like is it supposed to mean something? You keep doing that a lot, even today.” 
An amused hum escaped Jaehyun’s lips upon hearing your question. Although it’s already been established that you only went to basketball games for him, his heart still turned warm at how you attentively observed him throughout his games even if you didn’t understand the sport well. Much less wanting to know about his team strategies.
“It just means that we’re going to try for a three-pointer,” Jaehyun disclosed, pressing soft kisses against your shoulder blade. “We change it up every time. but the main gist of it is that we will make three passes before going for the three-point field goal.” 
You hummed in acknowledgement. “So that’s what it meant! That’s so cool.” 
Jaehyun’s kisses stopped. “I have a gift for you,” he said. 
“A gift?” you felt bad. You should be the one giving him something for completing his season. Before you could protest, however, Jaehyun asked you to close your eyes.
At first you felt him shifting below you, curious about what gift he could possibly be hiding when you didn’t recall seeing any paper bag of some sort when you entered his house. Thereafter, you heard him opening something, taking it out of... a box? You could hear something dangling. Not long after, that something was around your neck. You knew by now what it was, but Jaehyun asked you to open your eyes only after he fastened the clasp.
“No way!” you exclaimed. Gaze shifting downwards, you brought a hand up to touch the necklace that Jaehyun had helped you put on. It was a silver initial necklace with the letter J, a tiny heart charm hanging just next to it. 
“J as in Jaehyun?” you asked. You turned to look at him with doe-eyes, like that one emoji that you’d always use whenever you needed a favour from him. “No way…” 
“Do you like it?” 
“What do you mean? Of course I do! I just had my Gabriella Montez moment…” 
Jaehyun let out a hearty laugh. “I’m glad you like it.”
While you were still admiring the necklace, Jaehyun slyly snuck an arm around your waist, effortlessly lifting you up and putting you down to lie on the empty spot next to him. He changed his position such that he was now hovering over you, slowly taking your hand in his so that your attention would shift from the necklace to him. 
“So pretty,” he breathed.
With parted lips, Jaehyun moved in bit by bit to connect your bodies together. Just centimetres away from you, you could feel his lips ghosting over yours, making you want nothing more than to reach up to close the gap that separated the two of you from sharing a kiss. His eyes darted down to your lips for a mere second before he dived right in, going straight for your upper lip first. He pulled back slightly, silently checking if you were okay with what he was doing. And when he felt you kiss him back with a sense of urgency, Jaehyun brought a hand to the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss, smiling in content.
If his life was a movie, then you were the best part.
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haespoir · 7 months
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texts w/ bf!jaehyun!
i’ve lost count on where we are with bf jae
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kjdkive · 2 months
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more jaehyun textsss hehehe
jaehyun boyfriend texts
warnings: cursing, suggestive, same thing always
a/n: anon you're so lucky i'm unemployed
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gyeomsweetgyeom · 20 days
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[1:44 pm]
(cw: f!reader, "ass")
Fratboy!Jaehyun had woken up groggy and confused. He wasn't sure what time it was or even what day it was. His mouth was dry and it took every ounce of power to pry his eyes open. His room was dark and his internal clock told him at had to be at least mid-morning. He could hear his fray brothers going about their days. He could hear pots and pans banging in the kitchen, people going up and down the stairs, and someone had just gotten in the shower.
He rolled out of bed- literally, he got tangled in his sheets and fell with a muffled groan in pain.
He walked out of his room, walking down the stairs toward the kitchen to see if anyone would offer him any leftovers or second servings.
It was all hitting him now, he had just had his last final yesterday. A week full of studying until his brain felt like mush and his eyes burned. It was tough but he felt really confident. So his reward to himself was a day of playing hooky from work and all responsibilties.
That apparently meant you too... You'd been calling and texting him for half the morning and all your messages went unanswered and undelivered. His location was off because his phone was off so you frantically made a trip to the frat house to see if he was there and most importantly alive.
Your frantic knocks were answered by a calm Haechan who reassured you Jaehyun was alive and asleep. You even saw yourself. His mouth was wide open and his snores were practically shaking the wall.
So that's how you had ended up with Haechan, in the kitchen, wearing his hoodie, covered in flour, and that's how Jaehyun found you.
"What's going on here?" Jaehyun's groggy voice asked.
"So we were making a cake together and we started making the frosting but the powdered sugar went everywhere," you explained with a sheepish smile.
"You're making at cake in the morning?" Jaehyun deadpanned.
Haechan laughed, shaking the powdered sugar from his hair which created a large white cloud, "bro it's like 2 in the afternoon."
Jaehyun's eyes widened, he was in shock, but that didn't take away from the grumpiness he was feeling after waking up and promptly falling on his face. "So you came over and instead of spending time with your boyfriend on his day off you came over and made a mess instead?"
Your face fell and Haechan tensed. "But I called you and texted you all morning and you never answered! I came over because I was scared something had happened and you were knocked out!" You explained.
"So you decided to stay with one half of dumb and dumber and make a big ass mess?" Jaehyun countered.
Haechan pouted, mumbling under his breath, "I'm not dumb."
"We're obviously going to clean up, why are you being so rude right now?" You asked stepping closer to Jaehyun and out of Haechan's ear shot.
Jaehyun sighed, closing his eyes, "I spent the whole week studying my ass off and I woke up later than I wanted to then I fell on my face." His face flushed, "then I come down and see my girlfriend with her other boyfriend and I'm just hungry and tired... and I'm sorry."
You cup his cheek, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips pulling away to tell him, "you are such a baby when you wake up. I'll make you something to eat and then we can watch a movie, yeah?"
"And you're staying over." Jaehyun mumbled against your lips.
"Sure, I'll stay," you chuckle.
"Wasn't a question, baby," Jaehyun smiles, pressing one last kiss to your lips before you turn and help Haechan clean up the mess of powdered sugar.
You crouch down to clean up the mess on the floor while Haechan wipes down the counter. Haechan glared at Jaehyun as soon as your eyes meet the floor. "Don't ever let me catch you talking to her like that again," Haechan whispers.
"Huh?" You ask, peeking your head up.
Jaehyun has a stare down with with Haechan, "Nothing, baby."
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