#that make you feel validated and more recognized as your individual self

[varietyshiw]

a silly little comic i made about plurality & unmasking

#based on true events #if you recognize my art style no you don’t #anyway #ive recently been talking abt my plurality more #trying to be less ashamed of it #its been scary for all of us tbh #but worth it #especially with little moments like these #that make you feel validated and more recognized as your individual self #idk after all the shit i deal with being a system #i wanted to make something wholesome n happy yk? #anyway rant over! nonsense tags time :) #system #system things #system stuff #system pride #did #osdd #osddid #plural #plurality #plural pride #did comic #osdd comic #system comic #plural comic

[bombshellsandbluebells]

Jamie’s anger at his dad motivating him to be the best vs. Nate’s hurt over his dad’s apparent lack of pride in him keeping him from ever achieving his best 

Jamie remembering that his mom only ever wanted him to be happy, not the most successful, being the thing to push him in the direction of growth vs. Nate learning that his dad never wanted him to be the most successful, just wanted him to be happy being the thing that allowed Nate to leave a job and environment that wasn’t good for him EVEN if on paper it looked like a big achievement 

Jamie’s relationship with his dad causing him to become selfish and mean and only care about himself as a defense mechanism vs. Nate’s relationship with his dad destroying his self-confidence, keeping him from ever trying to stand out

both of them becoming self-centered and unhealthily obsessed with what the public thinks of them as a response to how they grew up, learning to be mean to others so they don’t feel so small themselves, caring more about their individual achievements being recognized than the good of the team, and needing to let that go 

both of them needing to find the joy in football again - for themselves, just because it makes them happy - when it no longer becomes about being the Most Important or about their relationship with their fathers

the team learning to forgive Jamie and welcome him back after he apologized for what he did and made a big gesture to show he’s trying to be better likely paving the way for the team to approach Nate and ask him to come back after he apologized and made a big gesture to Will

the fact that a father who doesn’t love you and treats you terribly and a father who does love you but doesn’t know how to show it can both fuck you in similar ways, the ways that not truly loving yourself because someone in your life made you feel small and worthless can lead to an unhealthy version of self-esteem that hurts the people around you, the fact that it’s clear with the both of them that you DO need to love yourself, but you need to love yourself for who you are, not because you’re the most talented, and that you need to learn to love yourself outside of the validation of others 

the ways that Jamie and Nate’s situations seem so different but are all wrapped up in the same issues  

#if no one's gonna talk about jamie nate foils / parallels I WILL #no idea if i'm wording myself well this is just a lot of unroganized thoughts #jamie tartt #nathan shelley #nate shelley #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers

[theblackfemininesociety]

Converting Your Suffering into Strength: Exiting Survival Mode and Entering into The Soft Life .

Remember, transitioning from survival mode to your strong nurturing feminine energy is a process that takes time and patience. Each step you take towards healing and self-empowerment is a step towards living a more fulfilling and balanced life. It's important to note that healing trauma and embracing your feminine, nurturing energy is a deeply personal and diverse process. Each individual's journey may look different, and it's important to honor and respect their unique experiences and perspectives.

Let’s start with the HOW:

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Experiences: Recognize the impact of generational trauma, personal trauma and fears on your life. Find safe ways to validate your experiences and emotions without judgement.

2. Seek Support and Healing: Engage in therapy or counseling, to address and heal past traumas. Find support groups or communities where you can connect with other women who have experienced similar challenges. Surrounding yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals is crucial for your growth and healing journey. Seek out mentors or even community leaders who embody the strong nurturing feminine energy you want to cultivate. 3. Embrace Self-Expression: It’s time to cut out the toxic patterns ladies! Find creative ways outlets to express your emotions. Create new hobbies to get your feelings out (journaling, painting, exercising, dancing etc.) This will help you connect with your inner voice and nurture your feminine energy.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Accountability is a part of this process but please give yourself grace. Be gentle and kind with yourself. If mistakes were made handle yourself the way you would handle a loved one. Practice self-care activities that nourish your mind, body and spirit. Create a self-care routine that can help you feel strong, safe and soft.

5. Cultivate A Positive Aura: (The LUXURY Mindset/Becoming HER) Develop a list of positive affirmations that counter the negative beliefs and fear that are keeping you bounded. Write your affirmations, favorite bible verses and loved ones on sticky notes and put them on your mirror. Remind yourself everyday. Download an affirmation / Bible verses app on your phone and turn on the notifications for daily motivation. Visualize yourself at your highest, honorable, healthiest and successful level. Surround yourself with HER support system, ideas, body and etiquette. Make a vision board both physical and virtual (we recommend using pinterest!) and post it everywhere you can see it (bedroom, locker, screensaver etc)

We have a free EGuide that explains our concept on how to adopt “The Luxury Mindset” HERE … Ladies it only takes 66 days to form a habit! Meditating on this concept and follow us on our socials for guidance, support and community 🫶🏽

6. Practice Balancing Self-Empowerment & Purpose: It's time for you to only engage in activities that will EMPOWER you, not just in education and achieving goals but all aspects of life, Balance is key and you will develop a yearning for resting in your feminine energy. What impressions do you want to leave on your loved ones hearts? What path do you want to carve out for your future bloodline? What’s the standard? What is your purpose? (God. Family. Love) Pour into those areas and let them give you purpose outside of all the accolades of being independent. Tap Into what you wanted/needed from your environment as a young girl.. what healthy things can you give / show to her now?

Now Let’s Address Why ?

The importance of black women healing their trauma and finding empowerment in their feminine energy :

Breaking The Cycle: Healing trauma, both personal and generational, is a key part of your journey to becoming the best versions of yourself you can be. (friend, love, mother, grandmother etc.) It's essential for breaking the cycle of pain and creating a healthier future for yourself and those around you.

Reclaiming Femininity: For many black women, societal pressures, lack of representation, and stereotypes can contribute to why we do not fully embrace our femininity. By healing trauma we can explore and reclaim our unique expression of femininity such as compassion, nurturing, healthy communication, and strength.

Empowerment and Resilience: Healing trauma is empowering as it allows black women to regain control over their lives and emotions. By acknowledging and processing their experiences, individuals can develop resilience that enables them to navigate challenges more effectively and with a greater sense of self-assurance.

Building Healthy Relationships, Families & Communities: Healing trauma can positively impact interpersonal relationships. By understanding and healing past wounds, black women can develop healthier patterns of communication, establish boundaries, and foster deeper connections. Nurturing energy can contribute to creating a safe and supportive environment for both self and others in our homes and our communities.

For Support and Community Join & Follow Us! 💗 Instagram | Facebook | FB GROUP | BFS Group Chat

#black women in femininity #healing #feminine energy #classy black women #black women in luxury #black luxury #soft black women #soft girl era #hot topics #open discussion #breaking generational curses #womens empowerment #self discovery #self worth #self work #love #accountability

[fallout-lou-begas]

What would your one word of advice be for any fallout writer?

self-motivate.

i know you asked about fanwork specifically but if you're going to do anything creative, do it because you like doing it and you want to do it and/or you want to get better at doing it. external validation and attention is nice, everybody wants eyes on their work, but restraint and patience and appreciation for the intrinsic joy of creation will go a long way. being your own primary audience will make you much less mentally ill than desperately chasing notifications, and audiences can be very fickle; especially if you want to take passionate risks with your work then you have to be prepared to alienate people who just want something familiar and comforting (being friends with a couple other like-minded sickos is also great because their thoughts and feedback will always matter more to you than a stranger's). recognize if and when it's not fun for you anymore or doing more harm than good, assess why that is, and either change your process or take some time away if you need to (IKROAH was on hiatus for like eight months last year for this reason).

i make a fancomic because i like drawing and i like making comics and building off the foundations of FNV let me make a comprehensive story relatively quickly that i now get to just make comics about, and making these comics is intrinsically rewarding for me to do as an artist, and making these comics has also helped me develop a process with rather low stakes and made me a lot better at making comics in general and given me a lot of skills that i've taken to my original work. this is sort of a utilitarian way of looking at why i like making my comic but i cannot stress enough that it is also just fun and enjoyable without feeling like a waste of my time or like something i'm stagnating in. every issue of ikroah is a project to me where i try to experiment with my style or push my limits and that results in a really rewarding loop of artistic development, on top of the inherent pride i feel about telling a good story.

oh and for fallout specifically i think another thing i would suggest is to just do what you want. change shit for the sake of changing shit just because it's more fun to write or it works better in the story that you're trying to tell. if you're writing fallout fanfiction then consider that everybody reading has played the game already so the last thing you should do is be recounting in-game dialogue verbatim. anyone who hasn't played the game won't know you changed anything, anyway.

oh and also i think that the best thing that anyone making fanfiction can take influence from is literally anything other than other peoples' fanfiction. diverse and esoteric inspirations in fanfic or even original fiction are important so that you can avoid a sort of creative incest situation where there's a far too small gene pool of influences and references, resulting in work that's hollow and derivative and, worst of all, completely bereft of evidence of the individual taste, personality, and experience of a unique author.

#asks #advice

[crystalsenergy]

The Healing process of Chiron in Leo

Chiron in Leo Healing (tips only)

Remember that healing is a personal journey, and it's important to be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work through these wounds.

Chiron in Leo in 1st house

Chiron in Leo in the 1st House can bring wounds related to self-identity, self-expression, and personal recognition. Healing these wounds involves building self-confidence and embracing your unique individuality.

Here are some tips for healing this placement:

Cultivate Playfulness: Rediscover your sense of playfulness and childlike wonder. Engaging in activities that bring joy and laughter can help you reconnect with your inner Leo's spontaneity and exuberance.

Self-Acceptance: Start by accepting and embracing yourself as you are. Recognize that you are inherently valuable just by being yourself. Let go of the need for external validation and approval to feel worthy.

Creative Expression: Explore and express your creativity. Engage in activities that allow you to showcase your talents, whether it's art, music, writing, or any other form of creative self-expression. Use your creativity as a healing tool.

Self-Confidence Building: Work on building self-confidence. Challenge self-doubt and negative self-talk by replacing them with positive affirmations and thoughts. Surround yourself with supportive and encouraging people.

Personal Style and Image: Pay attention to your personal style and how you present yourself to the world. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident and authentic. Your outer appearance can reflect your inner strength.

Leadership Opportunities: Seek out leadership opportunities in various aspects of your life. Taking on leadership roles can help you develop a sense of personal power and recognition.

Inner Child Healing: Explore and heal your inner child's wounds. This may involve revisiting past experiences that have impacted your self-esteem and self-worth. Therapy, especially inner child work, can be transformative.

Celebrate Achievements: Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Recognize your accomplishments and take pride in your successes. This can boost your self-esteem.

Authentic Self-Expression: Be authentic in your self-expression. Don't be afraid to let your true personality shine through. Express your passions, interests, and opinions openly and honestly.

Romantic and Social Confidence: Address any insecurities related to romantic relationships and social interactions. Seek relationships that appreciate your unique qualities.

Accept Positive Attention: Learn to accept positive attention and compliments graciously. Allow yourself to be in the spotlight without feeling the need to downplay your achievements or deflect compliments.

Embrace Your Inner Leader: Recognize that you have the potential to be a leader in your own life. Embrace leadership qualities such as courage, self-assuredness, and the ability to inspire others.

Self-Validation: Practice self-validation and self-appreciation. Instead of seeking external validation, learn to validate your own worth and value. Recognize and celebrate your strengths and accomplishments.

Setting Personal Goals: Set clear, achievable personal goals that align with your passions and interests. Achieving these goals can boost your self-esteem and reinforce your sense of personal power.

Creative Visualization: Use creative visualization techniques to imagine yourself as confident, radiant, and successful. Visualization can help reshape your self-image and boost your self-assurance.

Positive Role Models: Seek out positive role models or mentors who embody the qualities and confidence you aspire to have. Learning from their experiences and perspectives can be inspiring and educational.

Mind-Body Connection: Explore practices that enhance the mind-body connection, such as yoga or meditation. These practices can help you feel more grounded and connected to your sense of self.

Remember that healing is a continuous process, and it's okay to seek support from therapists, counselors, or life coaches who specialize in self-esteem and self-confidence if needed. Chiron in Leo in the 1st House offers the potential for profound personal growth and self-empowerment once you've worked through its wounds and embraced your unique identity.

Chiron in Leo in 2nd house

Chiron in Leo in the 2nd House may bring wounds related to self-worth, personal values, and financial security. Healing these wounds involves building self-esteem, reevaluating your relationship with money, and recognizing your inherent worth.

Self-Appreciation Journal: Maintain a self-appreciation journal where you document your accomplishments, no matter how minor. Reflect on your growth and recognize your strengths.

Value-Based Spending: Align your spending with your values. Prioritize investments or purchases that bring you genuine joy and fulfillment rather than seeking temporary gratification.

Reevaluate Self-Worth: Begin by reevaluating your self-worth independently of external possessions or achievements. Recognize that your value as a person goes beyond material wealth.

Financial Education: Invest time in financial education and literacy. Understanding how money works can help you gain a sense of financial security and independence.

Budgeting and Financial Planning: Create a budget and financial plan to manage your resources more effectively. Knowing that you are in control of your finances can boost your self-esteem.

Value Personal Talents: Recognize and value your unique talents and skills. Consider how you can utilize these talents to generate income or enhance your sense of self-worth.

Self-Employment: Explore self-employment or entrepreneurial opportunities if they align with your passions and skills. Being your own boss can provide a sense of personal empowerment.

Material Possessions: Reevaluate your relationship with material possessions. Let go of the idea that possessions define your worth and happiness. Declutter your space to create a sense of clarity and freedom.

Charity and Generosity: Practice giving and generosity within your means. Sharing with others can help you recognize the abundance in your life and boost your self-esteem.

Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations related to self-worth, abundance, and financial security. Repeat these affirmations daily to reprogram your beliefs about money and value.

Build a Strong Support System: Surround yourself with people who appreciate and support you for who you are, rather than what you have. Authentic relationships can help heal feelings of inadequacy.

Value Your Voice: Develop your communication skills, especially when it comes to expressing your values and needs. Be assertive and learn to speak up for yourself in matters related to money and possessions.

Tangible Goals: Set concrete financial goals that are aligned with your values and desires. Achieving these goals can give you a sense of accomplishment and boost your self-esteem.

Financial Forgiveness: Forgive yourself for any past financial mistakes or decisions that may have affected your self-worth. Understand that everyone makes financial errors, and they do not define your value.

Invest in Self-Improvement: Invest in personal development and education. Learning new skills or pursuing higher education can increase your confidence and enhance your earning potential.

Embrace Abundance Mindset: Shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. Cultivate the belief that there are limitless opportunities for financial growth and success.

Financial Mantras: Develop personal financial mantras that reinforce your worthiness of abundance and financial security. Repeat these mantras regularly to rewire your thought patterns.

Self-Expression through Earnings: Explore career paths or income sources that allow you to express your unique talents and passions. Aligning your work with your true self can be deeply fulfilling.

Self-Care Rituals: Create self-care rituals that make you feel pampered and valued. Treat yourself regularly, even if it's in small ways, to remind yourself that you deserve to be cared for.

Financial Independence: Work toward financial independence and security as a means of bolstering your self-esteem. Saving and investing can provide a sense of empowerment.

Creative Money Management: Use creative approaches to manage your finances, such as visualizing your financial goals, creating vision boards, or tracking your progress with colorful charts.

Explore Your Passions: Reconnect with hobbies and interests that ignite your passion. Sometimes, pursuing your passions can help you find a sense of self-worth beyond money.

Art Therapy: Consider art therapy as a way to express your feelings about self-worth, and value. Creating art can provide insights into your emotions and beliefs.

Practice Gratitude: Cultivate a practice of gratitude for the resources you have, whether they are material or personal. Recognizing and appreciating what you already possess can shift your perspective.

Generosity to Self: Be generous to yourself. Occasionally indulge in something that brings you joy, even if it seems frivolous. Treating yourself kindly can enhance your sense of self-worth.

Chiron in Leo in 3rd house

Chiron in Leo in the 3rd House can bring wounds related to communication, self-expression, and sibling relationships. Healing these wounds involves developing confidence in your voice, embracing self-expression, and improving your connections with siblings and peers. Here are some tips for healing this placement:

Journaling: Keeping a journal can be a therapeutic way to explore your thoughts and feelings. Write about your experiences, fears, and desires to gain insight into your inner world.

Express Yourself Freely: Start by allowing yourself to express your thoughts and ideas openly and confidently. Don't fear judgment or criticism from others. Your voice matters.

Public Speaking: If you have a fear of public speaking or speaking your mind, consider taking public speaking classes or joining a speaking group to boost your confidence.

Creative Writing: Engage in creative writing, such as poetry, storytelling, or blogging. Writing can be a powerful tool for self-expression and healing.

Sibling Reconnection: If there are unresolved issues with siblings, work on reconnecting and addressing any conflicts. Open and honest communication can lead to healing and stronger bonds. Or, if you can't talk with them, work on yourself in relation to these conflicts.

Communication Skills: Invest in improving your communication skills, both verbal and written. Effective communication can help you convey your ideas and emotions more confidently.

Active Listening: Practice active listening when engaging in conversations with others. It demonstrates respect and can enhance your interpersonal relationships.

Mental Stimulation: Keep your mind active and engaged. Pursue learning opportunities, engage in stimulating conversations, and explore your interests to boost your self-confidence.

Singing or Music: Use the creativity. If you enjoy music, consider taking up singing or playing a musical instrument. Music can be a powerful channel for self-expression and healing.

Self-Confidence Building: Work on building your self-confidence through positive affirmations and self-esteem exercises. Believe in your ability to communicate effectively.

Artistic Expression: Explore various forms of artistic expression, such as painting, drawing, or acting. Art can help you connect with your inner self and boost self-expression.

Healing Words: If past words or communication experiences have wounded you deeply, use positive affirmations and self-compassion to heal those wounds. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and acceptance.

Siblings as Allies: Forge stronger connections with your siblings if possible. They can become allies in your healing journey, providing support and understanding.

Embrace Drama and Creativity: Embrace your dramatic and creative side. Drama classes or creative workshops can help you express yourself more boldly and authentically.

Seek Feedback: Request constructive feedback from trusted friends or mentors on your communication skills. Learning from others' perspectives can help you grow.

Chiron in Leo in 4th house

Chiron in Leo in the 4th House can bring wounds related to family, home, and a sense of belonging. Healing these wounds involves nurturing your inner child, finding self-acceptance within your family dynamics, and creating a warm and loving home environment.

Self-Nurturing: Prioritize self-nurturing and self-care. Treat yourself with the same love and care that you would offer to a cherished child. Create a comforting and safe inner space.

Inner Child Healing: Begin by connecting with and healing your inner child. Explore your early experiences and emotions tied to family. Revisit memories with compassion and understanding.

Family Reconciliation: If there are unresolved issues or estrangements within your family, consider seeking reconciliation through open and honest communication. Healing family bonds can be deeply therapeutic.

Creating a Loving Home: Focus on making your home a place of warmth and love. Decorate it in a way that reflects your personal style and brings you comfort. Consider creating a nurturing sanctuary within your living space.

Family Therapy: If family wounds run deep, consider family therapy to address underlying issues. A qualified therapist can help facilitate healing conversations and dynamics.

Forgive and Release: Only if you want/can, practice forgiveness toward family members or past experiences that have caused you pain. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting but releasing the emotional burden associated with the past.

Self-Expression at Home: Express yourself creatively within your home. Decorate with personal artwork or crafts that reflect your individuality and passions.

Artistic Expression: Engage in artistic activities as a form of emotional release and self-expression. Painting, writing, or music can be particularly therapeutic.

Journaling: Keep a journal to explore your feelings and experiences related to family and home life. Writing can provide clarity and insight into your emotions.

Embrace Your Inner Parent: Become your own nurturing parent. Provide yourself with the love and guidance you may have missed in childhood.

Reconnect with Motherly Figures: Strengthen your connection with maternal or motherly figures in your life, whether they are biological or symbolic. Their guidance and support can be healing.

Express Love: Don't hesitate to express your love and appreciation to family members. Vocalizing your emotions can facilitate healing and improve relationships.

Spiritual Connection: Explore spiritual practices or beliefs that resonate with you. Spirituality can provide solace and a sense of higher purpose during challenging times.

Chiron in Leo in 5th house

Chiron in Leo in the 5th House can bring wounds related to self-expression, creativity, romance, and the need for attention and validation. Healing these wounds involves embracing your uniqueness, pursuing your creative passions, and finding authentic forms of self-expression.

Creative Self-Expression: Embrace your creative talents and passions. Engage in activities that allow you to express yourself authentically, whether it's art, music, dance, or any other form of creative self-expression.

Inner Child Healing: Explore and heal your inner child's wounds. Revisit childhood experiences and memories, seeking to understand how they shaped your need for attention and validation.

Self-Validation: Practice self-validation and self-appreciation. Recognize your intrinsic worth and creativity, independent of external validation or approval.

Artistic Pursuits: If you have artistic talents or interests, pursue them wholeheartedly. Allow your creativity to flow freely, and don't be afraid to share your work with the world.

Performing Arts: Consider engaging in performing arts, such as acting or public speaking. These activities can help you overcome stage fright and gain confidence in front of an audience.

'Romantic' Self-Acceptance: Work on accepting and loving yourself. Recognize that you are deserving of love and affection just as you are.

Healthy Relationships: Cultivate healthy romantic relationships that honor your individuality and allow you to express your true self. Seek partners who appreciate your creative spirit and unique qualities.

Attention in Positive Ways: Channel your desire for attention into positive and constructive outlets. Aim to inspire and uplift others with your talents and charisma.

Children and Parenthood: If you have children or plan to, focus on providing them with a loving and creative environment. Nurture their unique talents and encourage their self-expression. These actions will help you too - even if indirectly.

Joy and Playfulness: Embrace joy and playfulness in your life. Engage in activities that bring out your inner child and allow you to have fun without worrying about judgment.

Drama and Theater: Explore drama and theater as a way to express your creativity and gain confidence in performing. Acting classes or community theater groups can be beneficial.

Positive Feedback: Seek constructive feedback from mentors, teachers, or peers in your creative pursuits. Use feedback as a tool for growth rather than validation.

Spiritual Expression: Explore spiritual or metaphysical practices that resonate with your creative and expressive side. These practices can provide deeper meaning and connection.

Express Your Truth: Speak and express your truth authentically. Share your passions, opinions, and desires openly with others.

Seek Like-Minded Communities: Connect with like-minded individuals and creative communities that support and appreciate your artistic endeavors.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness and meditation to connect with your inner self and find inner peace. These practices can help you gain clarity and confidence.

Therapy and Self-Exploration: Consider therapy or counseling to explore the origins of your need for attention and validation. Therapy can provide insights and healing strategies.

Remember that healing is a personal journey, and it's important to be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work through these wounds. Chiron in Leo in the 5th House offers the potential for profound growth in creativity, self-expression, and authentic self-love once you embark on the path of healing and self-discovery.

Chiron in Leo in 6th house

Chiron in Leo in the 6th House can bring wounds related to self-worth, self-criticism, and the need for recognition in your work and daily routines. Healing these wounds involves developing self-confidence, finding purpose in your work, and cultivating a healthy sense of self-esteem. Here are some tips for healing this placement:

Positive Self-Talk: Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Replace self-criticism with self-affirmation. Practice speaking to yourself with kindness and encouragement.

Leadership in Self-Care: Become a leader in self-care. Show others the importance of valuing their well-being and taking care of themselves.

Healthy Work-Life Balance: Strive for a balanced work-life routine. Don't overextend yourself at the expense of your well-being. Self-care and relaxation are essential.

Meaningful Work: Seek work that aligns with your passions and values. Finding purpose in your daily tasks can boost your self-esteem and sense of fulfillment.

Professional Development: Invest in your professional growth and education. Expanding your skills and knowledge can increase your confidence in the workplace.

Leadership Opportunities: Look for opportunities to take on leadership roles at work or in your daily life. Leading others can enhance your self-assurance and recognition.

Mind-Body Connection: Nurture the mind-body connection through practices like yoga or meditation. These activities can help you feel grounded and centered in your self-worth.

Recognition of your Service: Understand that even the seemingly small tasks and contributions you make are valuable. Recognize and honor your role in your workplace or community.

Creativity at Work: Infuse creativity into your work or daily routines. Approach tasks with a creative mindset to make them more engaging and enjoyable.

Constructive Feedback: Embrace constructive feedback as an opportunity for growth and improvement. Use feedback to refine your skills and enhance your performance.

Volunteer Work: Consider engaging in volunteer work or community service that allows you to contribute to a cause you're passionate about. Helping others can help in your healing journey.

Physical Health: Prioritize your physical health. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate rest can contribute to a positive self-image and overall well-being.

Organization and Efficiency: Organize your daily routines and workspace to increase efficiency and reduce stress. A well-organized environment can positively impact your sense of practicity.

Teamwork: Collaborate with colleagues or peers in a team environment. Working together can help you recognize your value as part of a collective effort.

Setting Goals: Set clear, achievable goals for your work and daily life. Celebrate your accomplishments along the way to boost your confidence.

Self-Care Rituals: Establish self-care rituals that support your emotional and physical well-being. These rituals can include relaxation, meditation, or hobbies you enjoy.

Therapeutic Support: If self-criticism or work-related wounds are deeply rooted, consider therapy or counseling to address these issues and build self-esteem.

Chiron in Leo in 7th house

Chiron in Leo in the 7th House can bring wounds related to relationships, partnerships, and the need for validation from others. Healing these wounds involves finding self-confidence in relationships, recognizing your own worth, and fostering balanced and authentic connections.

Self-Love and Acceptance: Begin by developing a strong sense of self-love and self-acceptance. Recognize your worthiness of love and respect, regardless of external validation.

Healthy Boundaries: Establish and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships. Learning to say no when necessary and respecting your own needs is essential for self-care.

Balanced Partnerships: Seek balanced partnerships where both you and the other contribute equally. Avoid codependent dynamics and aim for mutual respect and support.

Open Communication: Foster open and honest communication in your relationships. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires with people, and encourage them to do the same.

Conflict Resolution: Learn healthy ways to resolve conflicts and disagreements in your relationships. Effective communication and compromise are key to maintaining harmony.

Building Confidence: Work on building your self-confidence independently of your relationship status. You don't need your relationship to be confident.

Self-Expression: Embrace your unique self-expression within your partnerships. Celebrate each other's individuality.

Individual Hobbies: Continue pursuing your individual hobbies and interests even when in a relationship. Maintaining your personal identity is vital for self-esteem.

Romantic Gestures: In a relationship, express your love and appreciation through romantic gestures. Small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness can strengthen your connections.

Supportive Friends: Surround yourself with friends who support your individuality and are in healthy, balanced relationships themselves. Positive social connections can influence your own partnerships.

Leadership in Relationships: Take a leadership role in your relationships by setting a positive example of self-confidence and authenticity. Inspire others to do the same.

Understanding Past Patterns: Reflect on any recurring relationship patterns or wounds from the past. Understanding these patterns can help you make healthier choices in the present.

Shared Goals: Collaborate with your partner on shared goals and dreams. Working together toward common objectives can strengthen your bond.

Romantic Self-Expression: Allow yourself to express your romantic and affectionate side freely. Don't hold back in showing your love and admiration for someone.

Confidence-Building Exercises: Engage in confidence-building exercises, such as positive affirmations and visualization, to enhance your self-assuredness in relationships.

Chiron in Leo in 8th house

Chiron in Leo in the 8th House can bring wounds related to power, intimacy, and self-worth in the context of shared resources and transformation. Healing these wounds involves embracing your personal power, exploring deep emotional connections, and recognizing your inherent worth beyond material possessions.

Self-Empowerment: Focus on developing self-empowerment and inner strength. Recognize your ability to transform and regenerate in challenging situations.

Exploring Intimacy: Embrace deeper levels of emotional intimacy in your relationships. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to the transformative power of emotional connections.

Healing Through Creativity: Use creative outlets, such as art, writing, or music, to explore and express your emotions. Creativity can be a powerful form of therapy.

Shared Resources: Reevaluate your relationship with shared resources, such as money and possessions. Recognize that your worth is not solely determined by material wealth.

Facing Fears: Confront any fears or insecurities related to loss or vulnerability. Understanding and addressing these fears can lead to personal growth.

Therapeutic Support: Consider therapy or counseling to explore deep-seated wounds related to power, intimacy, and self-worth. A therapist can provide valuable insights and coping strategies.

Accepting Transformation: Embrace the transformative aspects of life, including both the dark and light moments. Recognize that transformation is a natural part of personal growth.

Exploring Mysticism: Delve into spiritual or mystical practices that resonate with you. These practices can provide insight and support during times of transformation.

Healthy Boundaries: Set healthy boundaries in your intimate relationships. Clear boundaries can help you navigate power dynamics and maintain self-respect.

Shadow Work: Engage in shadow work to explore hidden or repressed aspects of yourself. Bringing these aspects to light can lead to greater self-awareness and healing.

Forgiveness: if you want, practice forgiveness, both for yourself and others. Let go of grudges or past hurts that may be holding you back from transformation.

Exploration of Taboos: Consider exploring topics or experiences that may have been considered taboo in your upbringing. Exploring the unknown can lead to personal growth.

Rebirth and Renewal: Embrace the concept of rebirth and renewal in your life. Recognize that you have the power to reinvent yourself and your circumstances.

Facing Taboos: Confront any taboos or stigmas you may carry related to matters of sex, death, or power. Open and honest discussions can lead to healing.

Transformative Art: Create art that reflects your journey of transformation and self-discovery. Art can serve as a mirror for your inner world.

Exploring the Occult: If you're inclined, explore occult or esoteric knowledge. These areas of study can provide deeper insights into the mysteries of life and transformation.

Chiron in Leo in 9th house

Chiron in Leo in the 9th House can bring wounds related to beliefs, higher education, travel, and the need for recognition in your quest for wisdom and knowledge. Healing these wounds involves exploring your unique beliefs, expanding your horizons, and finding confidence in your intellectual pursuits.

Exploration of Beliefs: Dive into a journey of self-exploration and understanding your beliefs. Question and explore what you truly believe in and why.

Higher Education: Invest in higher education or lifelong learning opportunities that align with your interests and passions. Expanding your knowledge can boost your self-esteem.

Travel and Exploration: Embrace travel as a means of expanding your horizons. Experiencing different cultures and perspectives can broaden your understanding of the world.

Spiritual Quest: Embark on a spiritual quest or exploration of various belief systems. Seek a spiritual practice or philosophy that resonates with your soul.

Teaching and Sharing: Share your knowledge and wisdom with others. Teaching or mentoring can boost your self-confidence and help you gain recognition for your expertise.

Publishing and Writing: If you enjoy writing, consider publishing your thoughts and experiences. Writing can be a powerful way to share your beliefs and insights.

Public Speaking: Develop your public speaking skills and use them to share your knowledge and beliefs with a broader audience. Speaking engagements can boost your confidence.

Embrace Cultural Diversity: Celebrate and embrace cultural diversity. Engage in activities that expose you to different cultures, traditions, and ways of thinking.

Philosophical Discussions: Engage in philosophical discussions and debates. Exploring various viewpoints can help you refine your own beliefs and intellectual prowess.

Adventure and Risk-Taking: Be open to adventure and calculated risks. Stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to personal growth and greater self-assurance.

Legal Matters: Address any legal matters or issues related to the law. Seeking resolution in these areas can provide a sense of closure and relief.

Experiential Learning: Emphasize experiential learning. Sometimes, the most profound wisdom comes from direct experience rather than academic study.

Seeking Recognition: Understand your need for recognition in the realm of knowledge and beliefs. Find ways to validate your intellect and wisdom internally, rather than relying solely on external validation.

Travel for Self-Discovery: Consider travel as a form of self-discovery. Traveling alone or engaging in solo adventures can deepen your self-understanding.

Exploration of Ethics: Delve into ethical considerations and moral dilemmas. Reflecting on your values and ethics can help you align your beliefs with your actions.

Study of Mythology: Explore mythology and archetypal stories. These narratives can provide insights into the human psyche and your own personal journey.

Meditation and Reflection: Incorporate meditation and reflection into your daily routine. These practices can help you connect with your inner wisdom and intuition.

Chiron in Leo in 10th house

Chiron in Leo in the 10th House can bring wounds related to your public image, career, and the need for recognition and validation in your professional life. Healing these wounds involves embracing your unique talents, pursuing a fulfilling career, and finding confidence in your ability to achieve your goals.

Embrace Self-Expression in Public Life: Celebrate your unique self-expression and creativity. Allow your individuality to shine through in your career and public life.

Pursue Your Passion: Seek a career or profession that aligns with your passions and talents. Finding work that you genuinely love can boost your self-esteem.

Confidence in Leadership: Develop confidence in your leadership abilities. Recognize that you have the potential to excel in leadership roles.

Set Ambitious Goals: Set ambitious career goals and work diligently toward achieving them. Success and recognition in your field can boost your self-worth.

Public Speaking and Presenting: Hone your public speaking and presentation skills. Effective communication in the public sphere can enhance your reputation and confidence.

Positive Self-Image: Cultivate a positive self-image in your professional life. Focus on your strengths and achievements rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings.

Mentorship: Seek out mentors and role models who can guide you in your career. Learning from those who have succeeded can inspire and empower you.

Creative Career Choices: Consider careers in the creative arts, entertainment, or any field that allows you to showcase your artistic talents and creativity.

Professional Development: Invest in your professional development through courses, workshops, and ongoing learning. Expanding your skills can boost your confidence.

Recognition through Accomplishments: Strive for recognition through your accomplishments and contributions in your field. Let your work speak for itself.

Positive Affirmations: Practice positive affirmations related to your career success and public image. Repeatedly affirm your worthiness of recognition and achievement.

Networking: Build a strong professional network. Networking can open doors to career opportunities and provide a sense of validation in your field.

Resilience: Develop resilience in the face of setbacks or criticism. Understand that challenges are part of the path to success.

Balancing Work and Personal Life: Maintain a healthy work-life balance. Prioritize self-care and personal time to prevent burnout and maintain well-being.

Public Projects: Take on public projects or initiatives that allow you to use your skills and talents for the greater good. Contributing to your community can enhance your reputation.

Self-Promotion: Don't shy away from self-promotion when it comes to showcasing your achievements and expertise. Modest self-promotion is essential for career growth.

Visualize Success: Use visualization techniques to imagine your career success. Visualization can help build your confidence and reinforce your goals.

Public Recognition Rituals: Create personal rituals to celebrate your career achievements and milestones. Acknowledge your progress and successes regularly.

Chiron in the 11th house

Chiron in Leo in the 11th House can bring wounds related to friendships, social circles, group dynamics, and the need for recognition within a community. Healing these wounds involves embracing your uniqueness within social settings, nurturing meaningful connections, and finding confidence in your role within groups.

Embrace Individuality: Celebrate your individuality within social groups. Recognize that your unique qualities contribute to the richness of your friendships and communities.

Nurture Authentic Friendships: Prioritize authentic friendships built on trust, mutual respect, and shared values. Focus on quality over quantity when it comes to your social circles.

Contribute to the Collective: Find ways to contribute to the collective goals and well-being of your social groups. Your talents and contributions can earn you recognition and validation.

Creative Collaborations: Engage in creative collaborations with like-minded individuals. Group projects that allow you to express your creativity can be fulfilling.

Lead with Heart: If you find yourself in a leadership role within a group, lead with heart and authenticity. Inspire others through your passion and vision.

Supportive Communities: Surround yourself with supportive communities that appreciate your talents and encourage your self-expression.

Public Causes: Get involved in public causes or advocacy work that align with your values and passions. Advocating for a cause can provide a sense of purpose and recognition.

Self-Acceptance: Work on self-acceptance and self-love. Recognize that you are worthy of love and belonging just as you are.

Group Activities: Engage in group activities that showcase your creative talents, such as performing in a band, participating in a theater group, or joining a creative collective.

Public Speaking: Hone your public speaking skills within group settings. Your ability to communicate effectively can earn you respect and recognition within your community.

Network Authentically: Build authentic connections within your professional and social networks. Be genuine in your interactions and avoid superficial relationships.

Leadership Training: Consider leadership training or workshops to develop your leadership skills. Learning from experienced leaders can boost your confidence.

Recognition of Contributions: Seek acknowledgment for your contributions within your social circles. Don't hesitate to share your achievements and celebrate your successes.

Friendship Rituals: Establish meaningful friendship rituals or traditions with close friends. These rituals can strengthen your bonds and provide a sense of belonging.

Conflict Resolution: Learn effective conflict resolution techniques to maintain harmonious relationships within your social groups.

Community Involvement: Actively participate in community events and activities. Being involved can help you build a sense of belonging and recognition.

Visionary Goals: Set visionary goals for yourself and your social groups. Aim for collective achievements that inspire and uplift.

Supportive Mentorship: Seek mentorship from individuals who have successfully navigated group dynamics and found recognition within their communities.

Chiron in Leo in 12th house

Chiron in Leo in the 12th House suggests that your wounds and vulnerabilities may be connected to past and your inner world.

Creative Self-Expression: Healing begins with embracing your creative gifts and talents. Allow yourself to shine and express your uniqueness without fear of judgment. Engage in artistic or creative endeavors that bring you joy and a sense of fulfillment.

Self-Confidence: Work on boosting your self-confidence and self-worth. Recognize that you have a special and valuable presence to offer the world. Affirmations, positive self-talk, and self-esteem-building exercises can be helpful.

Inner Child Healing: Explore your inner child's desires and needs. Reconnect with the playful, expressive, and confident aspects of your personality. This can be done through inner child healing exercises and therapy if necessary.

Creativity as a Healing Tool: Use creativity as a means of healing. Engage in activities such as art, dance, or theater therapy to process and express deep emotions that may be hidden in your subconscious.

Recognition and Validation: Seek validation for your talents and contributions. Don't be afraid to share your creative work with others. Allow yourself to bask in the spotlight from time to time, as it can be healing for your wounded Leo energy.

Spiritual and Metaphysical Exploration: Since this placement is in the 12th House, consider delving into spiritual and metaphysical practices. Meditation, dream analysis, and exploring your subconscious can help you gain insight into your wounds and find spiritual healing.

Facing Hidden Fears: The 12th House is associated with the unconscious and hidden fears. Confront any fears or insecurities you've buried deep within your psyche. Therapy, particularly Jungian therapy, can be beneficial.

Embracing Vulnerability: Understand that vulnerability is not a weakness but a source of strength. Allow yourself to open up emotionally and share your true self with trusted individuals who can provide support and validation.

Self-Acceptance: Practice self-acceptance and self-compassion. Let go of harsh self-criticism and perfectionism. You are worthy of love and respect just as you are.

Exploring Dreams and Fantasies: Pay attention to your dreams, fantasies, and intuition. Your subconscious may be trying to communicate important messages to you. Journaling and dream interpretation can aid in this process.

Service to Others: Find healing through acts of service and charity. Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment, while also helping you connect with your higher self.

Embrace Mysticism: Explore mystical and esoteric knowledge if you're drawn to it. This can be a path to self-discovery and spiritual growth, helping you connect with your inner Leo's desire for recognition and self-expression on a deeper level.

Remember that healing is a personal journey, and it may take time and effort. Be patient with yourself and seek support from therapists, counselors, or spiritual guides if needed. Chiron in Leo in the 12th House offers the potential for profound self-discovery and creative expression once you've worked through its wounds.

#chiron in leo #leo chiron #the astrology of healing #astrology of healing #chiron in leo healing #healing chiron

[th3dailyoverload]

Knowing Your Worth: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

As a young adult navigating the complexities of adulthood, imposter syndrome can often rear its head and make you question your abilities and worth. Let's define imposter syndrome first: imposter syndrome is that nagging feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt, despite evidence of your accomplishments and capabilities, individuals experiencing imposter syndrome often attribute their achievements to luck, timing, or other external factors, rather than their own capabilities.

It's a common phenomenon that many young adults experience as they push themselves to succeed in their personal and professional lives. Today, we'll explore how to overcome imposter syndrome with enthusiasm and a judgement-free perspective, and helping you embrace your worth and confidently step into your authentic self.

Recognise and Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step in overcoming imposter syndrome is to recognize and acknowledge your feelings of self-doubt and insecurity. It's important to understand that these feelings are common and that you are not alone in experiencing them. By acknowledging your imposter syndrome, you can begin to address and challenge the negative thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back from recognising your true potential.

Challenge Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic can be a powerful force fuelling imposter syndrome— we are in fact our own biggest critique. Challenge these negative thoughts and beliefs by reframing them with more positive and empowering statements. Practice self-affirmations that highlight your strengths, accomplishments, and unique qualities. Remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes, that no one is perfect, and that failure is a natural part of the learning and growth process.

Seek Support and Validation

Don't be afraid to seek support and validation from trusted friends, family members, mentors, or colleagues. Share your feelings of imposter syndrome with someone you trust and let them provide you with encouragement, perspective, and reassurance. In some cases you'll even find out that those very confident friend you have have also gone through it or are still going through the same imposter syndrome that you are. Surround yourself with a supportive network of individuals who believe in your abilities and value your contributions.

Embrace Vulnerability and Growth

Embrace vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness. It's okay to not have all the answers or to feel uncertain at times. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, take risks, and step out of your comfort zone. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, and remember that progress often comes from pushing yourself beyond your perceived limitations.

Celebrate Your Achievements

Take time to celebrate your achievements, no matter how big or small they may seem. Acknowledge your hard work, dedication, and perseverance in reaching your goals. Keep a journal of your accomplishments, positive feedback, and moments of success to remind yourself of your worth and capabilities during times of self-doubt.

Practice Self-Compassion and Self-Care

Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion on your journey to overcoming imposter syndrome. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges. Make self-care a priority by engaging in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, such as mindfulness practices, exercise, hobbies, or spending time in nature.

In conclusion, overcoming imposter syndrome as a young adult in the journey of adulthood requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and the willingness to challenge your inner critic. By recognizing and acknowledging your feelings you can cultivate a sense of self-worth and confidence that empowers you to thrive and succeed. Remember, you are worthy, capable, and deserving of all the success and opportunities that come your way. Embrace your worth and step boldly into your authentic self – the world is waiting for your unique talents and contributions.

#adulting #th3dailyoverload #advice #growing up #judgement free #life advice #safe space #imposter syndrome #mental health #mental wellbeing #wellness #self worth #worth it

[the-bjd-community-confess]

TW: Sexualization of (fictional) Minors/CSA mentions

Mod: Batch post 3 for these, so the people who want to avoid the topic can do so 💜

1. "It’s still just as gross as the real thing " This line, this line alone made you honestly the biggest asshole and I hope you're fucking ashamed. I hope you grow the fuck up and look in the mirror and see what a fucking dumbass you were saying this with 100% confidence. I've not been active reading this blog for some months, but seeing this line.

This one fucking line. I want you to tell me, with full fucking confidence that you genuinely believe, that a fucking dumb ass shitty as fuck doll, a fucking piece of plastic, and bobbleheaded waste of space, and overly expensive toy being portrayed in a gross and sexualised fucking manner, is in any fucking way comparable to a real life, breathing, living, growing child being betrayed by the people who should care for them. A child that has thoughts, experiences pain and suffering. A literal human being that can be traumatized and violated, a child you can fucking betray and destroy completely and utterly.

I want you to fucking come here, and tell me that you actually think this is in any fucking way comparable. I want you to tell me this, and I want you to do it off-fucking-anon, because saying shit like this, fucking put your face to that statement.

What the fuck is wrong with people like you? You can hate that shit, find it fucking tasteless and gross. But you're not going to fucking use real victims, to feel morally superior and peddle your stupid fucking arguments.

NO THIS SHIT IS NOT COMPARABLE. No matter how "close it looks", it will never be comparable, because one of these has a real life fucking victim, while the other is a heap of plastic you can throw in the trash.

~Anonymous

2. As someone who’s been exploited and abused as a child by men, I find it disgusting that no one recognizes how art IS self expression. So when people sexualize underage individuals you are giving them gratification. So yes it makes someone a deviant. People watch CP , and since it’s illegal they try and use art to get around it. And we say that’s ok? That does feed their desires, which can fuel them to act on it. If their brain believes it’s a real child, it’s just as bad as the real thing. I’m disgusted people think this is ok to do. That pedos are valid to make their dreams a reality through art and dolls. Dolls ARE art. Dolls ARE self expression. How someone styles their dolls DOES say a lot about them. If you truly understood how these individuals work, you would understand how harmful it is. Speaking as a victim and a sex worker who does encounter these types of men.

~Anonymous

3. honestly ()bsequi()us, as a victim of the things you keep harping on about, i'm in the camp of the people who understand that fictional exploration of dark topics does not equate to condoning those subjects, and i furthermore really wish you would stop being so morally aggrandizing to people about it. if you don't agree, that's your erroneous hill to die on, but heckling people the way you do is only making you seem more unreasonable.

~Anonymous

4. There's only one person, maybe two, that are screaming and shaming everyone else for thinking pedo-bait is gross. And I am not surprised to see who the most vocal one is.

~Anonymous

5. "I'm saying this as a survivor" bro there's survivors on both sides lol. getting rid of csa is kinda hard if you didn't notice, let us try and fix our first world rich kid problems until then ok? personally I don't want to see ppl who on top of being pedos, enjoy fondling plastic in their public Instagram accounts

~Anonymous

6. When people say they don't care if a "child" doll gets sexualized, they're not saying they defend pedophilia. They're saying you're a tool for comparing the struggles and suffering of real, human victims to a literal fucking doll. No it is not "just as bad", it's nowhere close, and frankly it's insulting and gross that you think they're even comparable.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions

[chaos-in-one]

How to be a "real system" according to fakeclaimers

(mainly taken from subreddits like r/fakedisordercringe but I have seen it other places too)

- Don't be open about it on social media, ever

- In fact you must be 100% ashamed of it and never share it with Anyone Ever

- You have to be miserable, if you're happy then obviously you can't actually have a serious trauma disorder because it definitely isn't a covert disorder where the entire point is that there's parts that appear untraumatized for safety and to help keep the person in denial

- You can never call yourself or any other part a person, a REAL system would never see alters as people

- You have to be able to tell anyone at any given time exactly what you went through to cause your disorder and it has to be The Right Kind Of Trauma, otherwise you're obviously just making it up

- Oh but also if you know your trauma you're faking, a real system wouldn't remember that

- You can't be trans. Especially not nonbinary, and Especially not with any sort of "weird" gender, everyone knows trans people who claim to be systems are just attention seeking fakers

- You can't have any other disorder. Especially not the popular ones (the 'popular ones' vary based on what disorder fakeclaiming spaces are focusing on the most at any given time), there's no way you could have more than one disability, obviously

- You have to be over 25 at least, preferably in your 30s. Because obviously diagnosises being less common in teen years and early adulthood means it actually never happens and anyone claiming to be a system that's younger must be faking

- No introjects. Doesn't matter what kind. Introjects obviously don't exist. Especially not ones of popular media that a ton of people know about and enjoy, no that doesn't make sense at all.

- You can't find anything happy or positive related to being a system ever

- Actually you can't call yourself a system either! Because obviously the real ones would only ever use strictly medically used terms, it's not like people with disorders are capable of being their own individuals and having ideas of how to describe their own experiences in a way that makes sense and feels comfortable to them

- If you have any child alters they have to act EXACTLY how a child actually that age would be, doesn't matter that child alters are built off the brains perception and the brain structure is different from that of an actual child that age

- You have to always recognize and make it clear you see your system as parts of you. Doesn't matter that one of the main symptoms of OSDD and DID are being unable to recognize other parts as yourself, if you can't do that you're a faker!

- you have to share all the same opinions as me on discourse. It's not like you are an actual person capable of forming unique opinions and having your own view on things or anything, or that your opinions don't indicate the validity of your symptoms.

- You can't like anything cutesy or soft or childish, obviously if you do you just see being a system at an aesthetic

- No self expression!!! Especially not in an alt way like heavy makeup or piercings or dyed hair!!!!

- You also can't like the same media as me because if you do you're ruining the media for me which makes you a faker

- Alters can't be mostly or all conventionally attractive because that's not realistic (it's not like heavily imposed beauty standards can heavily influence a young traumatized child or anything)

- Don't complain about ableism, only the fakers do that

- Actually you can't call yourself a system either. Only fakers use anything but strictly medical terms well known and used by professionals, because obviously a real person with these conditions couldn't possibly come up with their own terms for their experiences on their own

- Don't talk about your disorder too much, that's attention seeking. But if you don't talk about it enough then obviously you're just faking to use the disorder as a prop for your own gain.

Basically just don't exist publicly as a system every otherwise you're one of the fake ones! I promise this isn't just another way of trying to other this minority and push them into hiding so I don't have to deal with their existence! We're just trying to protect the real ones!!!

#sarcasm #satire #this is satire #if anyone takes this as serious istg #syscourse #fakeclaiming #tw fakeclaiming #anti fakeclaiming #r/fakedisordercringe

[chattingwiththelightkeeper]

Embrace Your Curiosity

Are you curious about BDSM but feel hesitant to dive into this fascinating world? Perhaps you have been intrigued by the idea of exploring your desires but worry about judgment or societal stigma. Rest assured, you are not alone. Many individuals experience a mix of excitement and apprehension when considering BDSM, and it is important to recognize that your desires are valid and worthy of exploration.

First and foremost, let's address a common misconception: having an interest in BDSM does not

make you weird, sick, or abnormal. Humans are vast and diverse, and what arouses one person may not appeal to another, and that is perfectly okay. It is essential to embrace your desires without shame or guilt, understanding that they are a natural aspect of who you are.

One of the biggest challenges for individuals curious about BDSM is feeling isolated or alone in their interests. However, it is important to recognize that there is a vibrant community of like-minded individuals who share your curiosity and enthusiasm. Whether you are exploring BDSM in your 20s, 40s, or beyond, age is not a barrier (as long as you are legally a grownup) to discovering new aspects of yourself and your sexuality.

Embarking on a journey of exploration can be both thrilling and intimidating, but it is essential to take things at your own pace. Start by educating yourself about BDSM, read educational books (Such as The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy), articles, and online resources to gain a better understanding of the principles, practices, and safety considerations involved. Engaging with online forums or attending local munches (casual meet-ups for BDSM enthusiasts) can also provide valuable opportunities to connect with others and ask questions in a supportive environment.

As you begin to explore BDSM, remember that communication is key. Whether you are interested in bondage, dominance and submission, role-playing, or any other aspect of BDSM, open and honest communication with your partner(s) is essential. Discuss your desires, boundaries, and expectations openly, and be prepared to listen and respect your partner's boundaries as well.

It is also crucial to prioritize safety and consent in all BDSM activities. Establishing safe words, discussing limits, and regularly checking in with your partner(s) are fundamental practices that help ensure a positive and fulfilling experience for everyone involved.

Ultimately, exploring BDSM is about more than just experimentation, it is an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and living authentically. Embrace your curiosity, celebrate your desires, and remember that you are not alone on this journey. By approaching exploration with an open mind, a compassionate heart, and a commitment to communication and consent, you can unlock new dimensions of pleasure, intimacy, and fulfillment in your life.

So go ahead, embrace your curiosity, explore your desires, and embark on the journey of a lifetime. You deserve to live authentically and passionately, without fear or judgment. The world of BDSM awaits you with open arms, come and discover the beauty, excitement, and endless possibilities that await.

What what advice would you offer to those who are considering exploring BDSM? Please share your helpful advice in the comments below!

If you enjoyed this, I invite you to give my podcast a listen ’Chatting With The Lightkeeper,’ a top 25% most-followed podcasts on Spotify but available on all the major podcasting apps and follow my socials for more exclusive content: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky, and X (formerly Twitter) for a deeper dive into the wonderful world of D/S.

As with all of my thoughts, please see this disclaimer.

©TLK2024

#bd/sm blog #bd/sm community #bd/sm daddy #bd/sm kink #bd/sm lifestyle #bd/sm relationship #d/s #d/s community #d/s relationship #dom/sub #my writing

[healthylifefamouse]

How does it feel like to have a shaped body?

Having a shaped body can evoke a range of emotions and sensations, both physical and mental.

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Here are some common feelings and experiences associated with having a shaped body:

Confidence: One of the most noticeable effects of having a shaped body is increased confidence. When you feel good about your appearance, you're more likely to carry yourself with poise and self-assurance in various social situations.

Pride: Achieving a shaped body often requires dedication, hard work, and commitment to healthy habits such as regular exercise and balanced nutrition. As a result, many people feel a sense of pride in their accomplishments and the effort they've put into sculpting their physique.

Energy and Vitality: Maintaining a healthy body weight and muscle tone can contribute to overall feelings of energy and vitality. When your body is in good shape, you may find that you have more stamina for physical activities and daily tasks.

Improved Health: A shaped body is often associated with better overall health. By adopting a lifestyle that supports physical fitness and proper nutrition, individuals can reduce their risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and hypertension.

Clothing Fit: Having a shaped body can make shopping for clothes a more enjoyable experience. Clothes tend to fit better and flatter your figure, allowing you to express your personal style with confidence.

Increased Attention: People with shaped bodies may receive more attention or compliments from others regarding their appearance. While this can be affirming, it's essential to focus on internal measures of self-worth rather than external validation.

Body Awareness: Achieving a shaped body often involves becoming more attuned to your body's needs and capabilities. You may develop a greater awareness of how different foods, exercises, and lifestyle choices impact your physical well-being.

Maintenance Effort: It's important to recognize that maintaining a shaped body requires ongoing effort and commitment. This may involve regular exercise, mindful eating, and prioritizing self-care practices to sustain your desired physique over time.

Overall, having a shaped body can lead to a variety of positive experiences, including increased confidence, improved health, and a greater sense of self-awareness. However, it's essential to approach body shaping with a balanced perspective and prioritize overall well-being above external appearances.

find out how my clients and friends lose weight within 7wks HERE…..

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[septembersghost]

Am I a bad person if I really want to listen to Taylor today...not excusing her but I miss her music so much

anon bestie. first, *hugs*. second, i do not know how to stress, plead, implore enough with you all that loving music is not a moral or immoral action. yes, of course there are particular artists i myself would never engage with (and that is due to extremes), and there are artists i just don't like for whatever reason and that's subjective. on the "i would never engage with ___" side, i can say that for myself, confidently understand why, yet recognize i still don't have the right to tell others to follow suit. people have different boundaries, different tastes, and different ways of going about separating their enjoyment from other issues.

i know there's sincere concern about supporting "problematic" artists, particularly financially, and i do think that's an important conversation to have, especially when we're discussing people actively doing harm to others or platforming hate speech. taylor is not an abuser, taylor has not been trumpeting racist or homophobic etc rhetoric. i also realize the issue of complicity has come into play here because of that man, and that's why there's so much anger and hurt and disappointment right now, but ask yourself: does that man, who is not in any way, shape, or form a part of any of her music, have the power to steal that from you? do you feel like you have to suffer the loss of her music, which is clearly valuable to you, over one dirty rag of a man? i've been upset and critical too, but also feel like there's a call for perspective here. taylor alison swift is not causing the world's ills. tbh that man has no significant power or influence even compared to, like, a local politician. bigotry should be confronted and called out. at the same time, this is a microcosm of a conversation, and that doesn't mean it's not important to have it, and that doesn't mean people aren't absolutely valid in their criticism or hurt, what it means is that it is not impacting society as a whole. we get very caught up in fury over small things, especially when it's connected to something we are invested in, because it feels simpler to fix or righteous in some way or like the onus is on us to definitively prove we're upstanding people who don't condone harmful things, and that's fine, but at what point does it become futile? at what point are we just screaming into the void and self-recriminating for approval?

part of what's making this harder is we've connected taylor's music to her very personally, and she has fostered that herself, but i think now is the time to change that a bit. detach it from her however you can and think about what it means to you. you singularly not listening to her on streaming is pennies she won't ever notice are gone, it is causing her zero consequence whatsoever, but it sounds like it's hurting you. that, to me, isn't fair. you're suffering for her mistakes? or because that dude is a dirtbag? you do not have to punish yourself and crawl on your knees for forgiveness because you'd like to play my tears ricochet every once in a while. how exactly is the moral burden on us, as listeners, when we aren't condoning any -isms, we just want to hear songs we love?

i sound hyperbolic here but i'm really serious, it's concerning me that we're tying individual morality - am i a bad person inherently? (bad people don't tend to ask this question because they don't care). does listening to this artist whose work i enjoy taint me in some way because they've done things i disagree with? - to enjoyment of art. it's frighteningly conservative to think that you and your character should be called into question because you love something that isn't causing any outside harm. engagement with art cannot make you a bad person! it's (if you've seen the good place) chidi and his almond milk. we're damning ourselves for miniscule actions and so trapped in the anxiety of that it causes far more important things to slip by. what matters is what we do, how we engage with others, how we take action in the world.

the fact that you're worried about this, which means you've been aware and empathetic during this time, proves you care and are not a "bad" person. i haven't been listening to her and it's not because i think that's giving me moral high ground (it isn't), it's because i am very sensitive and don't want any of that music emotionally tied to what's been going on because i do actually want to go back to it someday, it's too cherished and too intrinsically part of me not to, and at the moment distance itself is healing. i also don't believe her music being such an aspect of my heart says anything about my moral fiber, you know? if i suddenly wanted to listen to red tomorrow, i'd give myself permission to do so knowing it is no measurement of my intellect or my moral integrity, and we've got to stop acting like art can make you good or evil.

sorry this became a very long soap box essay! but i'm worried at how much of this specific idea, of someone so far removed from us making a bad choice reflecting on you and making you personally responsible or irredeemable for that, is being perpetuated. listening to an artist because they make you happy or bring you comfort is not having a measurable impact on human rights or global crises, and it just feels super unfair that we're burdening and judging each other with this idea that enjoyment or passion for something harmless makes you fundamentally bad. the world is hard enough. i promise you that it's okay to allow yourself joy.

#we're getting dangerously close to like the social justice version of book burnings and the hays code and that worries me #anonymous #letterbox #fandom discourse #thrown out speeches

[documentinghumanity]

You Are The Author of Your Own Story

In a world where constant validation and approval seem to be the currency of social interaction, the idea of simply doing what works for you without explanation might feel radical. Yet, at its core, it's a profoundly liberating concept—one that invites us to step into our authenticity and reclaim our power over our own lives.

Consider for a moment the mental and emotional energy we expend in justifying our choices and actions to others. Whether it's seeking approval from friends, family, colleagues, or society at large, the need for external validation can become a relentless burden, weighing us down with self-doubt and insecurity.

But what if we were to release ourselves from this self-imposed obligation to explain ourselves at every turn? What if we were to trust our instincts, follow our intuition, and make decisions based on what feels right for us, rather than seeking external validation?

At its core, this idea is about honoring our own truth and embracing our individuality. It's about recognizing that we are the ultimate authority in our own lives, and that we alone have the power to determine what is best for us. When we stop explaining ourselves to others and start living authentically, we reclaim our autonomy and assert our right to live life on our own terms.

Of course, this isn't to say that we should disregard the perspectives and opinions of others entirely. Seeking advice and feedback from trusted sources can be valuable, and there may be times when explaining ourselves is necessary for effective communication and collaboration. However, the key distinction lies in recognizing when explanation serves a genuine purpose and when it simply feeds into the cycle of seeking external validation.

So how do we begin to implement this mindset shift in our lives? It starts with cultivating self-awareness and tuning into our inner voice. By reconnecting with our intuition and paying attention to what feels right for us, we can begin to trust ourselves more fully and rely less on external validation.

It also involves setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing our own well-being. This means learning to say no to things that don't align with our values or serve our highest good, even if it means disappointing others or facing criticism. It means honoring our own needs and desires, rather than constantly seeking to please others at the expense of our own happiness.

Additionally, practicing self-compassion and self-acceptance is essential in this journey. We must learn to be kind to ourselves and recognize that we are worthy of love and acceptance just as we are, without the need to constantly justify or explain ourselves to others.

Ultimately, embracing the idea of doing what works for us without explanation is about reclaiming our sovereignty and living authentically. It's about trusting ourselves, honoring our truth, and stepping into our power as creators of our own lives.

So the next time you find yourself caught in the trap of seeking external validation or explaining yourself to others, remember that you are the author of your own story. Trust yourself, follow your instincts, and do what works for you—no explanation necessary. In doing so, you'll find a newfound sense of freedom, authenticity, and empowerment that comes from living life on your own terms.

#self-awareness #authenticity #empowerment #validation #boundaries #intuition #self-compassion #self-acceptance #autonomy #individuality #mindset shift #personal growth #living authentically #inner voice #self-trust

[girl4music]

PHEOBE: “We were all related. Cousins. And we lived here at the manor back in the 20’s”

PIPER: “Together? Here? So much for evolution.”

PRUE: “Wait. So you saw us in our past lives? I mean did we look the same?”

PHEOBE: “Yeah, you did actually. Kinda.”

LEO: “Well, they probably look the same to you ‘cause your soul recognized their souls. We all tend to travel in the same circle of family, friends, even enemies throughout our various lives. And that’s why our souls can recognize each other. So we can keep finding each other. That’s what soulmates means.”

I love it when the lore of a TV show resonates with my understanding of what something is or how it works. Feels like my claircognizance is being validated and that’s hard to comes across. I’ve known all my life that soulmates is a real thing and that soul connections work very much in this way. Meaning there’s more than just one - and that it is not always romantic, which Plato’s ‘Symposium’ disagrees with me on. His understanding is that there are two half’s to a whole. But I’ve always understood it more as puzzle pieces. Is it ever a good or smart thing to do to call an Ancient Greek philosopher wrong about the way they understand something? Probably, but I can’t help it. I feel that the way I understand the soul and soulmates is correct in my gut. And I never ignore my gut.

And so it’s nice to come across this lore in Charmed about soulmates and the way they work. I very much agree with Leo in how he explains past lives are merely just a way for the soul to evolve its consciousness. As somebody that doesn’t believe in identity, it makes all the sense to me in the world that the human experience is just one of many multidimensional experiences for the soul that consciousness cannot completely access in each individual lifetime but gets tidbits every now and again through extra sensory perception. lucid dreaming and LSD trips or other hallucinogenic drugs.

As a self-proclaimed philosopher, I have to say - sorry, Plato, I love you but I think you missed with this one.

#charmed #pardon my past #leo wyatt #brian krause #pheobe halliwell #alyssa milano #piper halliwell #holly marie combs #prue halliwell #shannen doherty #soulmates #puzzle pieces #philosophy #plato #symposium

[ashestoashis]

The dating pool is disproportionately weighted toward Anxious and Avoidant people. Often, the Avoidant person will come out of a period of loneliness with a renewed commitment to give relationships another shot, hoping their resolve will continue and sometimes the newness of a relationship helps the Avoidant person successfully “show up” with their feelings, wishes and needs. However, our Attachment Styles are pretty resilient.  We need conscious effort to change them and if our patterns are not dealt with successfully, the withdrawal of the Avoidant person ignites the pursuit of the Anxious person and that well-known dance of pursuer-distancer begins.  

If you recognize yourself as someone with an Avoidant style and you feel frustrated that your Avoidant behaviors are interfering with maintaining connections and relationships, here are 10 things you can do to get a different outcome.

Learn to identify your “Deactivating Strategies.” Deactivating strategies are the mental processes by which Avoidant people convince themselves that relationships are not that important and their need for connection and closeness is less than others.  Remember both Avoidant and Anxious individuals suffer similar distress as compared with Secure individuals when assessed by physiological measures, even though the Avoidant “looks” just fine.  The suggestions on this list are all variations on the theme of “Deactivating Strategies.”  Hopefully, this list will identify ones for you to work on and help you recognize the ones you use that are not articulated here.

Notice whether the mental list of your partner’s shortcomings is as valid as you think.  We all have shortcomings and it may be that you’d be losing a lot to push this person away.  Remember, these are strategies you use to manage your anxiety about closeness.  Talk about your anxiety (as opposed to evaluating your partner negatively) and you will both feel closer and more secure.  Talking about your feelings is hard for Avoidant people but it is important.  You must bring yourself into the relationship or your withdrawal invites the person you’re with to fill the space.  I recently told an Avoidant client that he would do better to be and express himself in his relationship rather than continue to believe that it was only possible away from his relationship.  This made a lot sense to him.

Question your fierce self-reliance.  Self-reliance is a valuable quality but too much gets in the way of relationships.  Do you know someone who refuses help, tends not to talk much about what they’re feeling, and keeps to themselves most of the time?  It’s often not very rewarding to be their friend and sometimes very frustrating to try.  Consider the benefits of mutual support and camaraderie.  When you let someone get close to you and especially when you let them help you, you give them the gift of feeling good about their generosity.  It’s a give-give, a win-win.

Find a Secure partner.  Secure partners help Avoidant and Anxious people become more secure.  A Secure partner will be able to tolerate the periodic withdrawal that feels necessary for an Avoidant person.  When the Secure person can easily grant the “space” that the Avoidant person says they need, the Avoidant person often realizes more quickly they no longer need space.  See how that works?  An Anxious person would be distressed and ambivalent at best to grant that space, thus making it likely more space is experienced as essential.  This is a frustrating pattern with Avoidants and Anxious people.  Finding a Secure partner is helpful for both.  Also, a secure partner will successfully model being present and is more likely to successfully invite you to be present as well, particularly when it is harder to share what’s going on.

Be aware of your tendency to misinterpret behaviors in negative ways, thus setting up justification for your withdrawal.  Consider that your partner has your best interest at heart.  Consider that they want to be close, not that they want to control you.  Most importantly, consider they are human and have foibles just like you.  The things that may be “negative” may not be fatal flaws (deal breakers) about them or the relationship.  You can still love someone even though they have faults.

Make a relationship gratitude list. Remind yourself daily to focus on the positives.  Consider the ways your partner contributed, even in minor ways, to your well-being and why you’re grateful they are in your life.  Tell them something from your list often.  It will make it more real for you and it will be wonderful for your partner to hear.  Also, when we express gratitude for the things we like, they are more likely to recur.  (It’s called positive reinforcement and it works with people just like it works with pets).

Find a way to turn your attention away from a phantom ex. or the idealized future lover.  It’s likely there were things you didn’t like about the former lover that you now miss and wish you could reconnect with.  Euphoric recall is never accurate and dissatisfaction with a current relationship may likely be a Deactivating Strategy that is best to identify and stop.  More, look to see if dissatisfaction is a means by which you justify half-hearted engagement in other areas of your life, not just your relationships.  Dealing more with this Deactivating Strategy could be life changing!

Don’t wait for “The One” who fulfills your checklist perfectly.  If you’re with a good partner, actively turn to them and acknowledge your need for closeness (even as it makes you uncomfortable).  And keep in mind that here are no “ones” out there!  That’s an illusion. We’re all “.72,” “.85,” and if we’re lucky, we find a “.91.”  It’s in the rounding up to “1.0” that the love happens.  And when they round you up to 1.0, you are gifted with love, too.

Use distraction strategies.  A common activity that functions as a “ramp-up” to closeness is often helpful.  Working side by side on a project, sharing in cooking activities, or playing together with a pet can help the Avoidant partner remember that the closeness will be OK.

Communicate your needs clearly with the “why.”  Using “I” statements, state your needs clearly and describe how what you need helps the connection feel better, safer, or less threatening.  For example,  I had a client who was a trauma survivor who liked affection from their partner but needed their partner not to be too aggressive when initiating affection.  Being able to state clearly what worked and what didn’t work around bids for closeness and affection helped make it safe to stay present and respond well, as opposed to withdraw and engage in their deactivating strategies.

If you have significant and persistent Avoidance of connections, and you want to change that, it might be useful to talk to a therapist knowledgeable about Attachment Styles.  Our style is driven by powerful (and understandable) emotions that set the stage for how we see ourselves and others and dictate what we do in our relationships.  Sometimes, there is psychological work about painful or engulfing early relationships that needs to be addressed with a skilled therapist.  Intimacy and closeness are always scary.  They are scary for everyone but they don’t have to be painful or produce intolerable anxiety.  Intimacy and closeness can feel really good and you can still have the boundaries you need.

Source: On Relationships:  The Avoidant Style – by J. Alan Graham, Ph.D.

#SO HELPFUL #relationships #attachment styles

[beebestout]

Your Personality with Chiron in Capricorn

Among Chiron in Capricorn Personality Trait, ambition, is a common trait. These individuals are driven to succeed and will often sacrifice everything to do so. They may not achieve or fail to meet their goals. https://www.trulydivine.com/chiron/chiron-in-capricorn -driven characteristic is caused by the fact that Capricorn Chirons often identify themselves with their career and social status. Failure in one of these areas can lead to emotional trauma. Capricorn born with Chiron in Capricorn will be driven to create loving relationships and have compassion for others. This person is highly social and easy to get along with. Although they are capable of greatness, they have difficulties dealing with their emotions and will tend to avoid extreme positions, such as depressed moods or addictions. Personality Traits of Chiron in Capricorn If Chiron falls in Gemini, he/she may have a healing feeling of independence, the ability lead or a physical injury. However, their greatest lessons in this life are about how to overcome insecurity. Some Chiron in Gemini may have difficulty speaking their truth, but communicating one's truth is vital for the soul's evolution. Despite these difficulties, Chiron in Capricorn Personality Traits are often quite challenging for people born with Chiron in Gemini. Capricorn men are ambitious, hard-working and determined. While these men are hard-working and dedicated, they are also highly self-critical, and are often paralyzed by fear before they reach success. They will feel empowered and able to pursue their dreams, provided they realize they are in control of their lives. People with Chiron in Capricorn might work hard to attain social status or a sense for the public good. They may need validation from others to fuel their work ethic. But it is often the result deep-seated wounds. People around you may not notice the wounds that are obvious in someone's life. This wound can manifest as anger or frustration if it is ignored. Aquarius is a sign that teaches women to recognize their worth. They must analyze their achievements and analyze what they've accomplished. They don't require recognition for the work they do. They can be ruthless and aggressive if necessary. They are confident and self-aware. Chiron in Aquarius may also be a victim to jealousy or self-insecurity. They should seek out help from those closest to them. Although the symbol for Chiron is the letter O, its meaning is not as easy to discern. It can still be useful in understanding one’s horoscope. People may learn more about their personality and horoscope by studying Chiron's characteristics. This is because Chiron is a subject of intense focus, intense work ethic, and intense focus. It can make it difficult for you to make the right choices in your life.

#chiron capricorn

[angelsaxis]

i agree w u that we need to be way way more critical abt shit like makeup and plastic surgery wherein "freedom of choice" is just leaning into patriarchal white-centric ideals of beauty etc. but i think freedom of choice is still impt in other aspects like life goals and saying that choice doesnt matter as much as fighting patriarchy in all aspects seems a little off to me? like if a woman happens to want kids, which is a gendered expectation, then by your post's standards, she isnt fighting the patriarchy. if she chooses to stay at home and watch the kid because thats genuinely what fulfills her more than a job and is fortunate that her spouse wants to and can financially support her, thats also going to be considered not feminist simply because she isnt doing the opposite of gender norms, according to your post. same goes for if a woman wears gendered clothes? has a job like childcare teacher, nannying, nurse? i dont like the idea of defanged (and largely cishet white abled) feminism as much as you, but acting like all forms of freedom of choice that conforms to gender norms is inherently bad strays really close to political lesbianism ideology wherein even choosing to be romantically involved with a man becomes traitorous. because dating men Is a gender norm. short of being a radfem, there is a line where we recognize that choice does matter because otherwise, the act of dating a man in itself plays into gender roles and expectations.

i just think theres a bit more nuance. i.e. genuinely further normalizing hurtful rhetoric/ideas (which makeup and plastic surgery do) should be looked at critically and i personally think we ought to abandon aesthetic surgeries n makeup for the sake of simply fitting into beauty standards all together. i also think that people will always have innate preferences. mine is towards counselling and psychology- is it unfeminist to go into a field that is woman dominated? must we let go of all freedom to choose to do "the most anti-patriarchy thing possible"? i feel like more nuance is necessary or we fall into traps for ourselves and actually end up stifling other women. like women who dont want to go into male dominated fields because its rife with sexism. like women who genuinely want kids with a man. like women who dont have the capacity emotionalmy or physically due to disabilities to work the jobs they are qualified for and so they choose to be homemakers. or even trans women who choose to do makeup because it saves them from transmisogyny. like yes, absolutely we need to critique where some preferences come from because, like with beauty standards and diets and skincare and fashion/makeup trends, some of them can be genuinely harmful to others (especially young girls who are exposed only to manicured picture-perfect bodies and faces). but at the end of the day, sacrificing All individual preferences will not make women happier, healthier or freer. and i mean this for ALL women.

yes I agree that nuance is important! that post is only a few paragraphs long and I made it in a moment of anger--so please nobody think that when I went into it, I was thinking that any conformity to a gender role is worse than death itself lol. like im literally in cornrows and a woman's shirt now.

that's why i always make the distinction between feminist action vs nonfeminist actions, rather than IDing as a feminist and then taking all the things I do as either qualifying or disqualifying me as a feminist. There's women who, for any reason, choose to be homemakers rather than work. Is that a valid choice for them? Yeah! Is it a feminist action? In my personal opinion, no--but is it wrong? Hell no. It's just that, on the list of things that a woman might say are things she's done to dismantle the patriarchy, being a SAHM/homemaker wouldn't be on the list. That's not a bad thing. We can't live our lives wholly dedicated dismantling something to the point of our own self destruction (and considering how deeply gender roles run--even down to social interactions--this would be impossible, anyways). that's where liberal feminism and choice feminism are in the wrong--it's ID first, and then the belief that as along as she's a woman Doing What She Wants, she's fighting the patriarchy (in lots of ways this is the case, but in lots of ways it definitely isn't). so a woman ends up saying its a totes feminist thing to like. actively support plastic surgery and the harmful makeup culture. rather than admitting that those are things that a feminist can do that don't make her not a feminist, but that definitely aren't feminist actions.

(I think most of the people reblogging that post understood as much, considering how there's any number of folks reblogging that who are women w long hair or wearing bras or doing something else that's a gender role and thus supported by the patriarchy)

My beef is with the pushing of personal empowerment over liberation from the thing that makes you need to feel empowered in the first place--and then acting like that is a win against patriarchy. like in the ideal world, people wouldn't need to wear make up, you know? Like, there'd be no expectation for women of any type of contour their faces and coat their skin and clog their pores and spend dozens or even hundreds every year to look a Specific Way. The fact that trans women have to wear make up for their safety is evidence that we live in a society where women are at risk of facing extreme violence for non-conformity--that's a fundamental change to society that make up, while helpful in a lot of these situations, bandages over. Bear in mind that I'm not saying that trans women shouldn't ever wear make up or anything! Make up as a choice for personal freedom/safety obv varies between women and by situation. It's still a gender expectation that men don't have to face, though.

My post was aimed more at the hardline liberal feminists/choice feminists who truly do think that make up is like. a 100% liberating tool whose acceptance actually contributes to the furthering of women's rights and the dismantling of patriarchy. it was generally directed at the women who call themselves feminsts but don't actually have like. an ounce of anything negative to say about the gender roles that are forced on us from birth. like they keep insisting that there is liberation through conformity as long as you change your mind about it or change the definition of feminism entirely. I don't think anyone's evil or partaking wholeheartedly in the oppression of women by wearing makeup n heels or being a SAHM, but again I know better than to equate a choice (often made under some level of misogynistic social coercion) with like, strives to get women in normally male-dominant fields or boost our representation in government or securing our reproductive rights.

#ask #i wonder how many people are reading a lack of nuance into that post lol #not necessarily @ you anon just. ive already had a libfem try to actually fight me on the whole bimbo movement thing #as a personal example: im already tall but i love big ass heels when I have a chance to wear them #the taller the better #i wanna be over six feet #heels are a gender expectation for afab people #there's also the expectation that bc of my height i should lean away from wearing them #its absolutely a personal choice that i frankly love bc ppl always expect women to be short and dainty #do i consider it a feminist thing to wear heels? no #its a ''fuck you'' thing #and a gender expression thing but thats for another post #i covered what I could while running the risk of this being 19 miles long sorry if i missed anything! #long post