#that it's hard to put much stock into their given logic

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Male Yandere Human-like Golem x Gender Neutral Human Reader (CW: Noncon, huge dick, golem man, magic, fatal violence towards bandits, spit used as lube, general yandere behavior) Word Count: 1.8k (Sorry this took forever, was originally going to be a drabble and then kinda got away from me, hope you all enjoy huge dick golem man.)

The small town that you lived in, Somnheim, had been victim to a swathe of horrible luck. Raided by bandits, packs of beasts killing livestock, and enemy soldiers scavenging what they could. Finally the town had enough and sent for a practitioner of the magic arts to aid them in the defense of their village.

This was you.

They didn’t have much but they offered a home and food for your services. You figured you could help them and have a quiet place to conduct your research away from the prying eyes of the council, who liked to hold newer mages under their thumb. It would also just be something nice you could do for your fellow humans, and these folks clearly needed the help.

You didn’t want to stay in this place forever though, so your solution would have to be one that would last long after you were gone.

Given your expertise in summoning and animating the logical choice was a good, old fashioned, golem. A pentagram, some select incense, clay flesh molded to a slate skeleton and imbued with an amethyst heart carrying an artificial soul, some runes carved in, and a scroll inserted that would have him follow his purpose and give him personality.

Then just add in a spell that turned the humanoid clay man into something more human so as not to frighten the villagers too badly and make him able to experience a near human existence.

The ritual was a complete success. Of course it was. You were you after all, young but talented and more importantly utterly dedicated to your craft.

Somnheim now had a mighty protector. An artificial man over 9 feet tall, with huge bulging muscles, shaggy brown hair, stoic brown eyes that gave nothing away, and glowing green runes on his arms and legs. The spell that made him human-like was more than just visual, it gave him nearly all the functions of a human male, he’d be as durable and strong as the hardest metal, never age, and of course he was certainly infertile.

Not one for creative names, you named him Slate.

Eventually bandits came by and decided they would stock up in Somnheim before going on to bigger and better loot.

They did not live to regret that decision.

Slate simply rolled a massive boulder down the hill they approached from and flattened all but a couple. Those he took care of quickly with magically precise throws of average sized stones.

Over the months any threat he couldn’t flatten with a boulder or smack with a stone he would pop open with his mighty fists.

By the end of his first year as the village’s guardian he was beloved by every single townsperson. Even the tiny children, who would climb on him and put flowers in his shaggy hair as he smiled and watched, had no fear of him.

You had enjoyed your time there, but eventually it was time for a change of scenery. You wanted to do more field research and you had saved enough money up with side projects to be able to fund a trip to the other side of the country near The Great Forest.

The villagers were grateful and sad to see you go, but they were much more interested in Slate than you.

But when you packed your bags to leave behind your wattle and daub dwelling once and for all you found yourself blocked by Slate.

He uttered one word in that deep, almost monotone, voice of his.

“No.”

“What do you mean no? I have to leave.” You tried to squeeze past him but he was not having it.

“I must protect the village… Your presence here makes the village safer… I might need repairs… or reinforcements… And you also tasked me with keeping you safe…”

You fudged the wording. You, breather of life into stone, weaver of clay, and creator of souls, messed up the wording.

He picked you up like a box of luggage and sat you on a chair in your makeshift study before going over to the heaviest bookshelf, picking it up, and placing it in front of the only door so you couldn’t escape.

“I’ll move it when I need to leave… then I will put a rock outside to keep you here…”

And that became your life. A literal prisoner in your own home.

Your magical abilities were useless in this situation, you were not a battlemage that could explode a wall, you couldn’t teleport, you bent earth.

Of course you tried to tunnel your way out by making a hole under your bed, but Slate had walked in and caught you red handed. He had confiscated and locked away all your magical supplies and texts unless you needed them to repair him you were not getting them back.

Slate was tentative enough of your physical needs, bringing you food and water and taking you outside like some sort of pet for sunlight, fresh air, and exercise. You had tried to run away but of course he had inhuman speed. And the villagers refused to help. What if Slate refused to save them if they did that?

It was a fair concern, he was made to protect the village and not villagers, he may even see them as a threat if they assisted you. You were on your own.

Though you were healthy enough physically your mental condition was deteriorating rapidly. How could you not be? Being trapped in the same building, even with trips outside, was awful. The villagers only looked at you with pity if they looked at you at all, and no one would even talk to you anymore.

It got to the point where you barely eat, refused to go outside, and spent all your time laying in bed.

Slate was failing the magical directives that governed his personality and behavior. You were clearly not safe, he was convinced that you would die if this continued, and honestly you likely would… eventually…

But the golem was not incapable of learning. He observed the other humans to find out what he could add to your life to bring you back to your usual self.

One night, when he was sitting in front of the house watching the humans passing by and holding hands, he came to the conclusion that humans had families, they lived together in their dwellings and they loved each other. They coupled together and mated.

Up until this point Slate had only been directed by simple emotion and the unyielding parchment that had imbued him with his goals. But now his task demanded something more of him, it demanded a much more complex emotion. The magic in him allowed this evolution, and now he was much more dangerous because he loved you. But it wasn’t just love he felt for the first time, it was lust.

Slate’s expression became one of someone thinking about the one who they adored infinitely, an expression of a man thinking about the person he wanted to have writhing in pleasure beneath him, even his normally green runes and brown eyes took on an amorous pink glow.

When you heard the boulder blocking the door shift and then heard the bookshelf take its place as what was blocking your way out as Slate came lumbering in with his heavy steps you didn’t even glance up.

Not until he stood in front of you and you noticed his strange pink glow replacing his green one did you stir.

You sat up in bed and when you saw the strange way his normally near emotionless eyes were staring at you, and glowing, you scooted away.

“I know what you need now! I am so sorry for not realizing sooner…” He said in a surprisingly soothing tone, a stark departure from his normally deep monotone.

“What do yo-”

Your words were forgotten as he took off his shirt and pants revealing a sweaty body and a frighteningly large cock.

“You need a partner to be happy, like the other humans, and you need to mate!”

He sounded very eager.

“No! Uh… I don’t need to… mate. I need to lea-” he put a large finger over your lips and shushed you before gripping your pants and peeling them and your underwear away from you carefully.

There was no dissuading him from his chosen course of action, he would make you happy and keep you safe no matter what!

It’s what you needed.

Slate leaned forward and spit all over your hole, thoroughly lubing it with his spit, before pressing his big cock into your hole.

It was so large that you let out a whimper of pain at first, but he was somehow knowledgeable enough about sex to know he needed to let you adjust to the size rather than just ramming himself in.

You gasped and writhed but he held you still with his massive hands running up and down your sides as he slowly pulled you down on his prick.

Slate was in complete heaven, he had never really known much pleasure of any kind, let alone the type that came with burying his cock in someone he was now completely obsessed with.

He had no idea his dick could be used for this at all, but now that he did he would certainly be doing this everyday, maybe even a couple times a day! The perfect blend of heat and softness was amazing.

As he began to thrust slowly, with a blissed out expression as he stared up at nothing with drool coming out of his mouth, you couldn’t help but moan in pleasure as his cock caressed your depths perfectly.

Hearing your breathy moans snapped him back to reality. You were finally happy again~

The treatment was working! That settled it, he would do this every single day no matter what!

Carefully gripping your sides a bit more firmly he moved your entire body back and forth on his cock. You couldn’t help it, your whole body twitched with the force of a massive orgasm. The sensation of your body spasming around his previously virgin dick caused him to slam in deep and cum hard.

He pulled you close, holding your head into his muscular chest as he panted, his dick still firmly impaling your limp body. You hadn’t been eating much and this serious fucking had taken a lot out of you.

Slate cleaned the two of you up, bathing you gently before taking advantage of your compliant state by spoon feeding you some dinner he had brought from a town person.

Mating with you made you so pleasured and too tired to resist him when he took care of you, he almost couldn’t wait until you had enough energy to do it again, his cock strained in his pants with anticipation.

#yandere teratophilia #yandere monster #monster boyfriend #gender neutral reader #yandere boyfriend #male yandere x gn reader #yandere terato #my ocs #yandere x reader #male yandere #My OC Slate

[dawndelion-winery]

Thanks for the Flowers

You send them a little prank thank you text with flowers they never sent

Ft: Alhaitham, Arlechinno, Childe, Scaramouche, Wriothesley

Alhaitham:

You thought it would be a funny prank to send him a stock image of flowers and a small thank you

"Glad you like them."

He smiles to himself, but then immediately deleted his message when he sees the attached image

That wasn't the bouquet he sent

His smile drops so fast because who exactly is sending you flowers apart from him?

"Throw those out, they aren't from me. Don't you like the one I sent more? I got your favourites, my love."

He gives the house a cursory scan the moment he steps in through the front door

It's only after you've given him his welcome home kiss and a hug that he starts looking for the bouquet for some trace of who the sender might be

At first he doesn't believe you when you say it's a prank because he wouldn't put it past you to just want to allay his worries

He'll come around though, and then he's annoyed

"That's childish and you know it, you can have my attention if you just ask for it."

Arlechinno:

This is her sign to publicly announce that you're with her because this sort of idiocy wouldn't be an issue if people knew you were spoken for

Initially chuckles to herself as she glares at the offending image

"Do you like them?"

Of course she's not telling you the weren't from her if you like them

The poor sucker who sent them to you deserves no credit anyway

If anything, they deserve her personal thanks for helping her gift you something!

Of course she needs to know their name and face to express her gratitude in person <33

In a totally genuine and non-threatening way (lie)

She ends up coming home late that day, having scared off any of your potential suitors just to be safe

"Had some unsavoury business come up, dearest, sorry to keep you waiting. Have you had dinner yet? No? Shall we dine together?"

She never brings it up though, so you sorta forget to ever tell her it was a joke

Childe:

At first he doesn't process that he didn't send you the flowers

It's not like he doesn't pay attention, but he has his subordinates send you so much stuff as he comes across it that it's really hard to keep track

For all he knows it might have been something he came across and spontaneously thought of you liking it

And your likes were pretty much needs to him

"Love you, my pookie <33"

And then he stows his phone away

Only to remember he hasn't gotten you any flowers that day

"My honey drumlet darling-kins, there doesn't happen to be a note attached to the flowers, is there?"

When you insist that no, there isn't, and you've checked thoroughly, he makes a mental note to look into anyone who's ever had a crush on you

For a friendly spar, of course!

He just needs to make sure his competition is even worth noting (they aren't)

He comes home, thoroughly disappointed that none of them could even hold their own against him - few even dared to try, scared shitless by the sudden appearance of a harbinger demanding they fight

Sweaty and tired, he's all over you, whining about his day and how everyone wants you and can't take a hint that you're so happy with him ("You are, aren't you? I'm your favourite.")

Of course you cave and tell him it was only a prank

He scowls at first, but then breaks out giggling as he buried his face in the crook of your neck

"It doesn't really matter because I think they're all scared of me anyway. Some of them took one look at me and blanched. Unlike you, of course; the sight of me excites you, doesn't it?"

Ah. There's your bastard ginger.

Scaramouche:

"Wrong number, I think you meant to text your side hoe."

Sends you the most unbothered replies

Is actually overthinking

He knows logically this is most likely a joke because he swears he has seen that bouquet somewhere on the internet when looking for flower arrangement inspiration

But what if it's just a really similar layout and someone actually did send it to you?

Horrible. He doesn't want to think about it

But of course he does anyway

Brings you flowers because he planned to sneakily replace the stranger's bouquet

Wriothesley:

"Honey, please tell me this is a joke."

Seething inside

Who in their right mind dared to covet you while you were happily dating him??

Don't even try evade his interrogation, he needs to know every detail

From the exact time the flowers were sent to the arrangement and paper quality

Don't mind him, it's just a small investigation he'll carry out in his free time

The sooner you come clean the better

Not that you'll go unpunished...but hey, confessing to your crimes must at least lighten the sentence, yeah?

Taglist: @ryuryuryuyurboat @yinyinggie @mx-kamisato @chaosinanutshell @haliyarobin @irethepotato @boundedbyfate @favonius-captain @aqui-soba @tiredsleep @sadlonelybagel @mastering-procrastinating @lemeowade

#astronetwrk #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham #arlecchino #childe #tartaglia #scaramouche #wanderer #wriothesley #alhaitham x reader #arlechinno x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #wriothesely x reader #genshin alhaitham #genshin arlecchino #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #genshin scaramouche #genshin wanderer #genshin wriothesley #winery specials

[psychic-refugee]

Thanks to the Anon on @heyharoldsboo 's page who gave me a shout out. Sorry I don’t do Anon Asks, frankly I don’t believe in anons. I barely believe in people who have fully developed blogs that have been operating for years. People curate and create online personas, myself included. It’s smart to not put your real life online. So, I take everything I see and hear on the internet with a grain of salt.

I do very much believe in protecting my peace, however. I’ve seen way too many people get brave behind the anon feature and just go absolutely vile.

As much as I know some anons are sweet and well meaning, “I won’t set myself on fire to keep you warm.” Tumblr and writing are a hobby, my mental health is the biggest source of wealth for me. I’m going to protect it at all costs.

My other justification is that Tumblr is free, it doesn’t cost anything to create a blog and to do the minimal work to make it not look like a porn bot. People can create a blog and ask me things that way if they really wanted to.

Sorry if a newcomer with an empty blog has tried to follow me, I’m pretty heavy handed with the block feature if I presume you’re a porn bot.

I do appreciate the thoughts and shout out.

So, lets talk about Cease and Desist letters. They mean nothing. lol That’s the long and short of it. They’re used as an intimidation tactic. Sometimes the threat of a lawsuit is enough to get the recipient to back down. It’s part of legal theatre.

They are not legally binding on either the sender or the recipient. If the accusers got anything, they could wipe their butts with it for all that it technically matters. You can write as many demands as you want, the recipients have the choice to ignore it. Most firms send it as an extra-judicial way of hopefully avoiding litigation. Why litigate for thousands upon thousands of Can$ if they can just send a warning shot? Sometimes, C&Ds are bluffs. Now, most people would take threats of legal action seriously, but given the accusers’ erratic behavior and immaturity they’ve shown thus far, they could also just as easily dismiss it as a joke.

It’s probably true that they do not have the money for attorneys. By that same logic, they do not have the money to make a suit worth it on PHW’s end. Will he really spend that much money on principals? Not sure a C&D is worth the time and money either.

If they say they haven’t gotten anything, I’m more inclined to believe them.

One anon made a good point regarding addresses. PHW’s representation might be having a hard time locating these women. Assuming he hasn’t spoken to them since high school, we’re talking at least three years. That’s plenty of time to have moved to a bunch of places if they don’t have steady employment. Did they go to university? Are they still in university? Could they be staying with a friend and don’t have a legal address? Could they still list their parents house while they’re living somewhere else?

So far, they’ve done PHW’s legal case more of a favor by continuing to post rather than to go dark. Given how toothless C&Ds are, it’s not worth the billable hours or fancy heavy stock letterhead to write one IMO, plus on top of hiring someone to find them.

I also see these women as being petty enough to have posted the letters if they got them. It’s not illegal to show a letter you’ve gotten. It’s their letter, if they show they got one, then they’re just stating facts. There’s no implied or enforceable gag order on not revealing they got a C&D.

His legal team may not want to prematurely reveal themselves either. Given how volatile Twitter and Tumblr could be, I wouldn’t want to expose my firm to trolls.

C&Ds aren’t required either. If I was going to sue, which they may still be considering at this stage, then I would just serve them an actual complaint. I don’t think a C&D is worth it at this stage if ever.

#percy hynes white

[stained-glass-salamander]

Happy Birthday!! 🎉🎉 - First of all I want to say how happy I am having found your blog relatively recently 😊 I really enjoy your style and look forward to your work every day. Be it in a post, or in the tags. I also want to thank you for being so supportive of mine! So, thanks! 💙 I hope you'll have a wonderful birthday.

1) truth: when I read your words about MCU it immediately had me thinking about its signal function in a broader social context, so what are your insights on that?

2) dare: I woke up one night and wrote this half sleeping, haven't used it yet, so this is a prompt: "Rhythm. Everything in existence logic pattern path of least resistance repetitive. Human = chaos. Repetition is boredom. The rhythm the pulse is distorted. Life! Life is chaos. The rest geometry."

3) we'll skip three 😋

4) I'd love a prompt!

5) and a flower, of course!

But because it's your birthday, I have a flower for you as well 😊 - enjoy your day!! 🎉

Hello and thank you for such a nice message - I thought about ways and words to convey how happy I am to have you enjoy my posts because I sure do enjoy yours, but got nowhere beyond a simple thank you. Rest assured I'll definitely keep on supporting your work as there is something enchanting in the way you write that got me transfixed - maybe it is the perspective from which you see things, maybe it is the way you use words to compose what reads like a piece of music, maybe it's everything at once or nothing at all - I can't quite name one specific aspect that makes it so alluring and beautiful, alloting your poems into my personal "resplendence" category along with nice landscape views, stained glass, flowers and 19th century piano compositions. I find myself gravitating to your words over and over again, and I sure am grateful for the serendipity that allowed me to find your blog. So, thank YOU!💙

And now that I had my fan-girl moment (please don't be scared, it's just me riding out the thrill of someone whose work I admire saying they enjoy my work too 😁), let's get onto the asks. I'm going to leave it under "read more."

(note: I think I'm going to scream, no wait, I'm already screaming - I wrote an approx. 5000 characters essay about MCU and tumblr glitched, leaving me with absolutely nothing. Yeah, I know, it was stupid of me not to save the draft after I finished or write it in an actual text editor, alas, here we are. Lessons learned. So just you know why I am answering so late. And why it is brief.)

1 - Ah, the MCU. First of all, the idea of kalokagathos is, unlike God, very much alive in the western society of today. As much as people enjoy heroic stories, they want to see beautiful people in tight costumes even more (when did we as a civilisation decide it is better to cover the body in neoprene rather than observe it nude? It would make more sense to wear a mask and some kind of briefs but nothing else given the unshakeable uniformity of the hero body shape.) The need for perfection is so great we are allowing Marvel heroes to be void of anything resembling a real human personality. This is nicely illustrated in Endgame, where Thor's depression is something we are supposed to laugh at. He is no longer perfect, and we are allowed to laugh at him displaying emotions and putting on some weight, and I hate this with a burning passion. Instead of giving the audience the story of Thor overcoming what more than fifty per cent of all people worldwide suffer from with help of friends and making positive changes, he is a laughing stock. And then there is the problem with heroes coming to existence through a quick process, usually some kind of exposure to radioactivity or a different substance that "mutates their DNA" (which in itself is laughable, but let's leave that aside for today.) There is no instance of people working hard to become strong, they simply get bitten by a rabid spider and get their code changed to wake up as a beefcake in the morning. I think this is a very common symptom of our western lifestyles where fast is not fast enough anymore.

Second of all, the films are void of any profound message because everything else is oversaturated with deep messages. The target group (which is huge judging by the money Disney makes off Marvel) wants to leave their dystopian lives outside the theatre, and watch morally flat characters fight other morally flat characters. We want to engage in an escapist fever dream full of stunning visual effects simply because it is better than anything we could do for those two hours.

Another reason for so many people to love it might be their feeling of having no power over their lives whatsoever. The idea of a hero coming and saving them, however improbable and illogical it is, might bring a certain level of comfort. Films such as MCU ones know this very well and are used as a tool to steer the masses where the government wants them. That is why heroes need to fight aliens to protect the earth - Hollywood past 9/11 is nothing but a tool for pro-war propaganda, and when we look at the parallel of good heroes fighting bad aliens, we don't have to look anymore.

Now, I also want to mention comedic interjections in MCU movies. Watching a film is not unlike travelling by submarine. Where captains like Bergmann immediately drop into the depths of the Marinara trench and stay there for as long as possible, Marvel regularly resurfaces to keep people alert and ready for another part. The comedic break not only serves as a way to divide the story into more digestible chunks, but it is also an attempt to make heroes more human-like and overtakes the comedy market. I have already mentioned that 9/11 has steered Hollywood into propaganda and as such, the comedy genre took a blow. But then, in 2008, Marvel came and gave people something they can laugh about, and voila, people wanted to see more of the silly jokes.

To conclude, the popularity of the MCU stems from the disillusion a large number of people are going through in relation to the dystopian nightmare they live in. All they seek is a visually appealing epic with likeable characters that would allow them not to think about the real world for a moment.

2 - I'm going to post the prompt as a separate post :)

3 - oh thank you :D it wasn't the best idea to list this so I'm happy you left it out

4 - and I am more than happy to provide: being a sanded down shard of glass is not the end of my journey, it is merely a beginning. Where others see nothing but void I walk with a prism in my eye and birdsong in my heart.

5 - thank you so much for the flower, it's so beautiful!!! I love that it looks like a little star - and maybe it really is a star that fell from the night sky for you to find it. By the way, is that your hand in the background holding it upwards? That's so very sweet of you - you managed to position it right in the middle of the picture, so it looks very aesthetically pleasing - thank you so much 💛

I thought about what flower to give you, and picked out three:

this rose because you seem to like yellow flowers. Also, their scent is amazing and maybe the sweet fragrance would be nice and soothing to fall asleep to.

Another flower would be this beautiful peony - and as a fellow bee enthusiast, I thought you would like to see these two ladies grinding hard to get that pollen.

and the last flower I wanted to give you was these chives flowers, simply because they are a lovely shade of lilac and look like fluffy pop candy, but my cat had a different idea and didn't quite approve of me taking pictures in his garden :) so here's the little fiend instead.

thank you again for the birthday wishes - they made me very happy 🤗 and before posting, here are the encouraging words I promised: your sense of humour is amazing! I haven't stopped laughing about Nostramarkus ever since you posted about him - and what I wanted to emphasize is, even if it doesn't feel like it, you are making difference, even if it is only as simple as brightening up someone's day. So keep pushing forward, it's worth it!

#birthday prompt party

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Part 3

Image taken from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, fluff, angst, maybe humor???? Warnings: Strong language, drinking Word Count: 5.2k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | You are on Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Last Part

A/N: Happy birthday to Huang Renjun, the boy who lights up the world. Sorry for making him so angsty in this fic. Tried something a bit light for him on this occasion.

You’re embarrassed beyond belief. 

You had expected maybe an awkward moment or two. But the look Renjun is wearing on his face as the two of you exit the restaurant is one that makes you queasy. You feel so bad. The poor boy had tried so hard to make this date special; and you’d done everything you could to make it cumbrous. You tried, you really tried to act naturally. But, everything about tonight had made your words get caught in your throat. The fact that he’d chosen your uncle’s restaurant of all places… the fact that he had prepared all that he had… the fact that he looked the way he looked tonight. All of it had you taken aback because you’d never been on a date this nice before. This boy had really put you off your A game.

Still, you didn’t like seeing him wear this expression. You weren’t sure what part had irritated him the most: that you kept fumbling over your words? He’d usually been kind and patient with you, so that couldn’t be it. Maybe his pride had been hurt by how it had ended? Renjun didn’t come across to you as a spiteful person but he had made so much effort on this date. Oh man, maybe he was angry. 

To be fair, the poor boy hadn’t said anything since you’d left the table. Perhaps it was in what he didn’t say that you felt most embarrassed. You feel so terribly guilty, but walking out into the fresh air helps you get your act together. You stride ahead and grab his arm. You two needed a moment. 

“Renjun, wait. I… I need to explain myself.” you begin but gauge his reaction first.

He turns to you and you can’t read the expression on his mask covered face. He doesn’t say anything, so he’s probably letting you talk. Whilst you can’t read him, you pull your own mask down so he would see you fully and understand what you mean.

“Renjun, I’m so sorry. When you texted the address, I thought about telling you to choose another restaurant. But I didn’t want you to think I was blowing you off or having second thoughts. I just… oh my God, I am so embarrassed and I just…” you take his hand in both of yours because you really want him to feel the sincerity in your words “... I’m so sorry. I just went along because I was really excited to see you… like this… on a date…” 

Renjun is looking at the ground, like he’s weighing your words, or thinking about what to say. You wait for a beat, or two or three. But on the fourth beat, you say,

“Tell you what, this date doesn’t have to end like this. I know you didn’t eat at all, and honestly, neither did I. My apartment is just around the corner. Do you maybe wanna come over for some ramyeon?” you look at him, your eyes hopeful. You really don’t want him to be mad at you. Your stomach feels uneasy, and you’re pretty sure the French food had nothing to do with it. 

“What, no condoms this time?” he finally looks up to ask and now, his eyes are smiling. 

“Huh?” you begin but then your eyes widen as realization hits and suddenly, you’re much too aware of his hand in both of yours. You drop it right away and you’re blushing intensely when you say “No, no condoms this time. I mean actual ramyeon.” you cover your face with your hands because yes, you’re embarrassed, but also, you’re grinning because Renjun is teasing you again and you prefer it way more than his silence. 

You hear the sound of his amused laugh and then feel his hands close around both your wrists, gently pulling them down. “I’d like that. Let’s have that ramyeon.” he says with a kind voice.

You didn’t realize you’d been holding your breath till you let it out and give him a relieved smile.

“Great! I’m actually really good at making ramyeon. Don’t be too surprised when all other ramyeons are ruined for you forever.” you say just as the valet brings your car around.

“Honestly, Y/N L/N, after our French cuisine extravaganza, I’m pretty sure I’d thankfully eat sand if you cook it for me well enough.”

You laugh because you’re happy he’s talking again. You get the sudden urge to hug him, because you’re thankful he’s giving this date a second chance. You don’t, though. You’re not sure how he’d react and you didn’t want to ruin the moment when it had only just turned around.

So you choose to hop in the car instead, waiting from him to get in and put his seatbelt on. You pause for a moment after he’s settled in and then you turn to him.

“I, uh… I didn’t bring condoms on that day because like, uh, I was expecting anything or whatever. I just, um, my… my roommate. She put it in my purse as like a joke.” you feel so stupid having to explain it but you feel like you need to because ugh, ugh, ugh. 

Renjun is laughing silently and you get the feeling that this time he’s laughing at you. 

“I mean, it was pretty forward for a first date. And you know, I’m not that kinda guy.” He shrugs his shoulders, shaking his head, still laughing. 

“Ughhh.” you bury your face into the steering wheel but it only makes your head honk the horn, which makes you jump. 

“Hey…” Renjun reaches out his arm to touch your shoulder and you turn to peak at him, an embarrassed grin on your face. “I’m only kidding. But yes, the quality of my jokes is really going down because now I’m fully starving.”

“Say no more, Huang Renjun.” you say and put the car into drive.

It’s only a five-minute ride and you’re glad for it, because you really, really want to turn this day around. You just couldn’t have your first proper date end on such a sour note. You pull into your building’s garage and silently hope that you had everything you needed to make the perfect ramyeon. With Yeri stress-eating her way to her thesis, your stock would run out way earlier than either of you expected. If that were the case, you would have to very sneakily order some in; you mentally start to calculate how long it would take the grocery app to get you your stuff, given the time of day.

In your planning, you haven’t noticed that the two of you are already in the elevator and it’s Renjun’s voice that brings you back to Earth.

“You live in the penthouse?” he asks.

“Yeah. It was the only place they had available at that time. Super inconvenient. It was hell trying to move all our stuff all the way to the top.” you try to make small talk because the elevator seems to be going on and on. Why did you have to live so far up top? 

“Okay, here we are!” you say as you lead Renjun down the hallway and unlock your door. “Um… do you mind if I like… spray you down? My roommate is kinda really particular about having people in the apartment these days…” you ask apologetically.

“Oh, no, absolutely. Do what you have to do.” Renjun says, a bit absentmindedly. His eyes seem to be going past you and towards your living room. You pray to the heavens that it wasn’t a big mess. You had modelled way too many outfits for Yeri before you had left the house.

“Okay, here you go.” you hand Renjun a pair of lounge shoes as he pulls his mask down. “Close your eyes, please. Yeri made this concoction with Lysol and sanitizer and God knows what else.”

Renjun closes his eyes obediently and stands in a T-pose and you can’t help but smile. By the time you’re spraying him, you’re fully giggling. 

He giggles back and peaks with one eye open “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. You’re just. You look so cute, Huang Renjun!” you almost squeal and fuck, you can’t stop giggling.

“Heyyy!” he groans and grabs the spray bottle from you and aims it at you. You shield your face with the backs of your hands while Renjun attacks you. “I’m not cute, okay? You’re the one that’s cute.”

“Okay, that’s enough! I think I’m as sanitized as I will ever be.” you squeal and start to move away but Renjun grabs your waist and sprays you some more. He’s basically drenching you to death, and it’s just as well, because your breath has once again been caught in your throat. He is close to you, too close. Suddenly, your heart is thumping in your chest and you wonder if he can hear it.

He notices your stillness, looks at you and pauses. Like he can feel the electricity in the air. Everything stills and your throat is dry, because your freaking breath won’t let out. You think you’ve forgotten to breathe; almost as if the Lysol is creeping down your airways. He’s holding your gaze and you can swear he’s moving closer. But your stupid throat won’t stop bothering you.

All of a sudden, your head turns out of it’s own accord and you’re clearing your throat into the abyss. Renjun straightens up, his hand leaving your waist. Dammit. Maybe it was all that damn Lysol that was choking you, after all. 

“Let’s make that ramyeon.” you choke out, turning your back to him and heading in.

“Yep, ramyeon. Lets.” Renjun nods his head like you’ve said the most logical thing in the world. The two of you pretend like nothing even happened.

You lead him into the kitchen. “What would you like to drink? I’ve got soda, beer, soju.” you say as you open your fridge and do a quick inventory.

“I’ll just have a coke.” Renjun says and you nod. You grab a couple of cans and your ice box and set it down for him on the island. 

“Have a seat because what you’re about to witness is pure magic.” you tell him as you grab your apron and suit up to impress the boy in front of you. Renjun runs his fingers through his hair and gives you an expectant smile and your brain choses that exact moment to tell you that your crush is at your place. For the very first time. And the two of you are all alone. You turn around before he can see you blush and you get to work.

“Those are big words, Y/N L/N. I hope you won’t be eating them. I’d much rather have you eat the ramyeon with me.” he snarks as he sits on the barstool on the kitchen island, sipping on his coke. 

“Oh, I just love the cynics of my cooking. There aren’t many of them left in this world, so it’s nice to meet the survivors.” You mean business, so you’ve already tied up your hair and laid down your pots and pans. All the time you’ve spent watching Masterchef auditions has prepared you for this moment. You’ve put the noodles to boil and are already heating up a sauté pan. You throw in mushrooms and look up to see Renjun studying you in amusement.

“Damn, you’re not playing around.” Renjun says and you could bet money that he almost sounds impressed. “Hey, be careful with that.” his tone is one of worry now as he watches you chop up some more vegetables.

“I’m always careful, Huang Renjun.” you say as you work the chef’s knife across the bok choy, peppers, ginger and tofu. You throw them in the pan one by one, trying not to be too distracted by the fact that your crush was worried about you. “Can you handle a bit of heat?” you hold up the spicy sauce that Yeri’s mom would always bring for you. 

“I can handle it.” he cocks an eyebrow and you grin.

“I’ll keep it mild because I don’t wanna take any more food risks today.” you laugh and add some broth to your noodles.

“That’s fair. It smells amazing already so my expectations have really skyrocketed, by the way.” Renjun tells you, licking his lips. 

You grin as you set down two bowls. If the boy didn’t like you after this, then he was probably a really tough cookie to crack. “Honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’.” You mimic as you ladle in the broth over the noodles and start arranging your vegetables in the bowls. You slice your boiled eggs and mutter “Success!” as they come out to be the exact texture you were looking for. You top everything with some sesame oil and sesame seeds. You step back to look at your work. It looked like the most Instagramable bowl of noodles you’d ever created, if you said so yourself. 

You lay some side dishes on the counter then proudly set your creation before the artist. If anyone knew how to appreciate aesthetics, it was probably him. You look up at him, expectant. Waiting for your result.

“Whoa.” is all he says, almost like he’s taken aback.

“I think this might be my magnum opus.” you say, nodding seriously as you sit on the barstool next to him.

“This looks like it came straight from an anime.” Renjun makes an impressed face and picks up his chopsticks. He takes a bite and for a moment says nothing. “Oh my God.” he turns to you.

“Oh my God?” 

“Y/N L/N. You’re gonna have to marry me now. There is no other way around it.” he says deadpan.

You grin and punch the air with both fists like you’ve won a Michelin star, not just the Masterchef audition. “Huang Renjun, I don’t mess about with ramyeon.” You say and begin to eat. Your eyes close as you let out a satisfied moan because yep--you’ve really done well. To be fair, there was a lot riding on it. You had to perform well today, of all days.

You both eat comfortably and deeply, a striking contrast to how you’d eaten at the French restaurant. Renjun gives you more compliments as he eats and you keep grinning like an idiot, heart exploding with joy. At one point, you have to tell yourself to chill out, to not let a boy’s compliments make you feel so validated. But how could you not be on cloud nine when the boy in question is cute as fuck and you’ve just cooked for him for the very first time? So you just smile wide at him and hope he can’t see the hearts in your eyes or the victory in your attitude that you’ve really managed to turn this around. All the awkwardness from earlier seemed to have evaporated. 

“Okay, Y/N L/N. You were right. This is the best ramyeon I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.” he admits and you’re way too happy to see that he’s basically licked his bowl clean. 

“Oh man, Huang Renjun. I thought you were a survivor. But here you are, another cynic that I’ve managed to convert.” you say proudly.

“Yes. Here I am.” he smiles at you. 

And there it is again. The electricity in the air. Because Renjun is holding your gaze and once again, you become much too aware of his proximity. Were your bar stools always this close? Maybe you had to talk to Yeri about remodeling this area. You’re turning toward him and he’s sliding off the stool, his eyes never leaving yours. He comes closer and your heart thumps against your ribcage again. Your mind is clouded by his perfume because he’s so close that your hands find home on his shoulders. You forget to think for a moment; your blood throbbing hot in your ears as he leans in.

“I’m hooome!” 

The two of you jump, your heads turning in the direction of the loud voice. You turn back to look at each other, then you jump away from one another, almost as if the spell has been broken and you’ve realized how close you were and how dumb an idea this was. 

You lament your luck. You can’t believe you’ve been cockblocked out of your first kiss with Renjun by your stupid roommate. 

It was almost a week later that you heard from Renjun again. Not that you hadn’t really talked in between. If sending one another memes over Instagram counted as meaningful communication, then yes, you’d been in contact. But then a couple of days ago, he had texted you more than a full sentence:

“Hey! Remember the 127 party Donghyuck (Haechan) talked about? It’s this Friday. Do you maybe wanna go with me? If you don’t want to hang out with frat boys on your Friday night, I totally understand! We could hang out some other time.”

Sometimes, you really wondered if you had any sort of an inkling of pride within you at all, because you didn’t even wait another second to reply:

“You know I wouldn’t miss a single chance to hang out with Haechan. Text me the address and I’ll be there! (Also, what sort of a party is this? I don’t want to be underdressed like last time hehe.)”

Turned out the 127s were hosting some sort of an outdoor Sports Day, except with drinks a plenty so everyone would be knackered as they played. The setup reminded you of every ill-fated Sports Days you’d ever been to at school, except with a lot more booze than you remembered. The two of you had barely walked into the grounds when Haechan jumped in to greet you with the same unrestrained energy.

“My friends! The Coronial lovers! Mr. Huang Renjun!” Haechan had leaned in to kiss Renjun on the cheek but he had really skillfully dodged it, like he had predicted what he would do. “Ms. Y/N L/N.” your reflexes hadn’t been quite as quick as Renjun’s because you had ended up with a mask covered smooth on your cheek. It made you cringe and laugh at the same time. Haechan had very animatedly told you of all the games they had planned for today and had pushed you in, forcing you to mingle with the rest of the crowd. 

Renjun was currently being swarmed by the group of rowdy boys and you were watching with an amused expression on your face.

“Embarrassing. Some people should just not be let out in public.” you hear a voice just above your shoulder. You turn around and chuckle.

“Hendery. Didn’t think you were the kind to kick it with the 127s.” you chuckle.

“Neither did I. They’re cool I guess. I like Haechan. More people need to be as shameless as him.” he comments, knitting his brows together.

You smile wide. “I like him, too. He really keeps everyone together, doesn’t he?” you muse as you watch the boy work the room (or playground), currently attacking everyone with more cheek kisses. “Hey, who’s that boy over there? The one in the blue-ish shirt?” 

“That’s Kim Jungwoo. He graduated a couple of years ago but he keeps coming to these parties.” Hendery says, scrunching his nose.

You laugh and then let out a long sigh. “I don’t blame him. When I start thinking about life after graduation, it makes me want to fail my courses just so I could repeat them. The future is scary.”

He nods knowingly, then says, “Hey, speaking of which. I heard we’re going to be partners in the SMK Trainee Drive.” 

Suddenly, you feel your belly do a summersault. Whenever your college hosted a recruitment drive, SMK was always the hardest to get in, especially for business majors. Not only was it super competitive, but people dreamed of getting chosen because it almost always guaranteed a job once you had graduated. 

You blow air from your mouth and square your shoulders. “Wong Hendery. Let’s show them how it’s done.” you hold your hand up to give him a high five but he grips your fist with his and puts his game face on.

“We’re going to crush the competition.” He declares and you feel reassured. You felt way more driven with a partner than working solo, anyway.

“Hendery, don’t waste all your arm energy now, save it for the wrestling match!” Haechan interrupts, thumping him on the back. “Go find your team, we’re about to start! 00 liners, this way!” he says, throwing an arm around you and walking to your team. You look over your shoulder and give Hendery a thumbs up. 

You join the 00 liners and look at Renjun amongst them. He looks the most uninhibited you’ve ever seen him. He’s smiling without concern and seems to be enjoying himself. You get the feeling that he’s surrounded by friends he trusts and it fills you with warmth. That boy deserved the world as far as you were concerned. 

“Okay, team. Here we are. The moment of truth. We can sit around like a bunch of shmucks or we can leave this ground knowing that we owned this fucking school! So what are we gonna do?” he yells like a sports coach.

“We’re gonna stop being embarrassing.” Lee Jeno gives Haechan a death smile and Haechan thumps his chest.

“That’s right brother! Okay, first order of business. Everybody take a shot! No one enters the battlefield sober!” He gives his commander’s speech and passes around bottles of something. You’re not sure what it is but it smells strong. 

“Down on 3. 1, 2, 3!” he yells and without thinking, you down whatever you’d been handed. You groan out as it hits and look up to realize that your groans are harmonizing with the others. 

“Ohhhh yes! Now we’re ready! Okay, second order of business. We need an entrance song. I was thinking, Girl’s Generation…” Haechan goes on and you see that it has made Renjun laugh. You laugh along as Haechan makes the team learn the cheesiest dance moves. A boy in a headband you’ve never met seems to be fully into it; a few girls seem to be tagging along amused. Na Jaemin looks like he’s humoring his friends at best.

“Okay! Let’s get ittttt!” Haechan drags the last part and leads the charge towards the center of the ground for an arm wrestling battle. There is excitement in the air now, and you have a feeling that it has less to do with the match itself and more to do with whatever liquid courage Haechan had injected in everybody’s veins. You find yourself walking at pace with Na Jaemin.

“You doing alright there, buddy?” you ask him because the poor boy looks like he was once again dragged out here.

He gives you a kind smile “Yep. I’m all good.”

“Not really your scene, huh?” you ask empathetically.

“I mean, I’d much rather stay indoors but Jeno said I needed some fresh air. Renjun was going to stay in with me but he betrayed me last minute by deciding to be social.” He notes, throwing some kind of a look your way.

You give him an apologetic grimace. “Oh man, I’m sorry for ruining your plans. But where’s your girlfriend? Why didn’t you invite her?” 

“She’s quarantining.” he tells you patiently.

“Oh no! Is she okay?” you look at him, almost stopping in your tracks.

“She says she’s mostly all the way okay now, though she still doesn’t have her sense of smell back. But I guess any day now.” he nods, looking ahead.

You look at this profile and your heart goes out to him. “Hey, I know of a place that’s making these really cute care packages for people that have been affected. They’ve got a super safe system of delivery as well. I can hook you up if you like. They’ve got the cutest things for you to choose from.” 

He looks at you and gives you a genuine smile. “That would be great. She’s probably tired of all the soup I’ve been leaving at her doorstep.”

You give him a fond look. “Okay, cool. I’ll help you put it together and everything.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” he says before you are interrupted by a loud cheer because the first match has begun and it’s between the boy with the headband and someone else you don’t recognize. The match doesn’t last a full two seconds before the boy with the headband is defeated. Haechan plays up looking crestfallen and “lunges” at the opponent but is playfully stopped by Renjun and the defeated boy. You throw your head back and laugh out loud. You were maybe enjoying these dramatic antics a little too much, but also, it was nice to see Renjun letting loose like that.

Haechan is up next and is defeated just as quickly and you soon realize your team stood no chance. A couple more boys from your team go next and it’s a bloodbath. No matter how much you cheer your teammates on, they’re dropping like flies. By the time Na Jaemin walks up to the stand, you’ve all pretty much accepted your fate. 

But then. Jaemin’s arm slowly starts crossing over the midline and then the 00 liners are on their toes jumping up and down, cheering on top of their lungs and before you know it, Jaemin has earned you guys your first victory.

“Go Nana!” you hear people scream followed by a chanting of “Superstar! Superstar!” 

You cheer along and watch as Jaemin-the-dark-horse defeats two more opponents in a row. And when he earns yet another victory, the 00 liners are going berserk, with Haechan yelling “Victory shots!” making you guys chug down whatever drinks you’re holding. But that becomes your undoing because Jaemin finally loses to Lee Mark, a senior boy.

A few girls from each team have their go and there’s an uproar when it’s pointed out that the boys were letting them win. It’s a loud, drunken commotion now and you don’t realize it is Rejun’s turn till Haechan points it out for you and much to your amusement, he’s up against Hendery.

“Go Renjun! I believe in you!” you cheer at him as he takes his place.

“Go Injuniee!” Haechan yells and you all watch for a moment with bated breath; but as soon as the match begins, you’re all doubling over, laughing. Renjun is no match for Hendery and he knows it, which is why he’s taken the opportunity to turn this into a comedy show. You laugh as Renjun hangs onto Hendery’s arm and wiggles his legs animatedly. But Hendery holds his ground well and let’s Renjun put on a show for everyone before he puts some girth in his hold and flattens Renjun out in one. Renjun walks back defeated and you welcome him back just as dramatically, like he’s a soldier returning from war.

“You did well, Injunie.” you put an arm around him and tell him and he grins at you before he is swarmed by the rest of your team. Your opponents are declared the winners but you guys do your Girl’s Generation dance anyway and take more victory shots.

You guys have no idea how you make it through the rest of the day because by the time you’re on your last game (a strange relay race that involves complicated costumes and eating donuts hanging from strings), you’re stumbling and being rowdier than usual. You’re yelling at one another, trying to get Yangyang (as you’ve learnt is the name of the boy in the headband) in his many legged costume but it is more complicated than usual because none of you are in your right mind. You, in fact, don’t remember the last time you got this drunk... Yeri would be proud. 

There is more commotion and many more arguments over what the actual finish line is, because by the end, even the self-appointed referees are knackered beyond belief. You don’t know how it happens but all of a sudden, Kim Jungwoo has been declared the winner of tonight, though all the games you played were in teams. But this funny result is agreeable to everyone because Jungwoo is being tossed in the air and being presented with a mini beer keg. Turns out, there wasn’t much that college students wouldn’t celebrate... if you’d put enough drink in them.

You find yourself jumping up and down along with the rest and you don’t realize that you’ve stumbled till Renjun catches you and you’re smiling at him so widely. You’re pretty sure your face is flushed a bright, drunk color because Renjun is looking down at you with an amused smile.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You alright there?” he asks and you loop your arms around his neck till you’re basically hanging onto him.

“I’m having the best time ever, Injunie.” you tell him but your words are coming out all sloshed so you try to make yourself clear. “Best time. Best time. Why does it sound so funny in my mouth? Best time. Best time.”

Renjun raises his eyebrows but his smile keeps growing. “Okay, time to take you home.”

“Nooo, Injunie, but Haechan was going to show me how to make his death cocktail and I have to help Jaemin make a package for his girlfriend and I’ve made a new friend and her name is Lia and I can’t leave now!” you whine at him, grabbing a fistfull of his hoodie. Damn, why do your words keep sloshing around in your mouth like that?

Renjun loops an arm around your back and starts walking you “Okay, you can just take a quick nap at home and then when you come back you can do all of those things, okay?”

You consider his words and realize that your eyes were droopier than usual. “You’re a genius, Huang Renjun. I guess I could take a little, itsy bitsy nap.”

The next thing you know, you’re in the back of a cab, your head resting on Renjun’s shoulder. He feels so nice and warm and you feel so damn comfortable. You cuddle closer to him and turn your head to look at him just a bit. “I’ve got such a bad crush on you, Huang Renjun.” you tell him and you see his head snap in the direction of your voice and you want to keep talking to him but your eyes are closing again. 

When you wake up in the morning, you have no recollection of how you got back home but Yeri’s making you her hangover tea and telling you how proud of you she was.

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

#renjun fic #renjun angst #renjun fluff #kpopscape #ficscafe #huang renjun #nct au #nct fic #nct dream fic #nct dream au #nct imagines #nct scenarios #renjun x reader #renjun x you #nct angst #nct fluff #nct humor #kpop fic #kpop fluff #we met in online class

[firewoodfigs]

for the only one bed prompts......... "and only one pillow so a used b's chest or stomach" 🥺

EMMA, MY LOVE. FOR YOU I WOULD GIVE THE WORLD AND MORE <3 I hope you enjoy, friend!!! <3

also on ao3 - i like it when you sleep (for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it)

                                      ++++++

She falls asleep on the car ride back.

It’s unusual, such behaviour. Ordinarily, she’d be keeping watch or the one driving, but throwing herself at wolves and flirting with married men (and tolerating her commanding officer’s unwarranted jealousy) is indescribably wearying. It’s even worse than military training, having to put up all these fake niceties and pretenses. She wonders how Roy does this every day. Maybe that’s why he’s so tired all the time, Riza thinks. Now she knows why.

She startles awake briefly when the car jerks. Riza mutters, unintelligibly, something about safety and watching the road. She dimly registers the sound of a murmured apology from the driver’s seat.

Riza nods, and drifts back uneasily to sleep.

(In her sleep, Riza dreams of a dimly-lit courtroom and of Lady Justice, so white and pure and glorious even in the shadows. It is a recurring dream of hers, but it still leaves her palms clammy and her heart racing, like she’s just pulled the trigger on someone for the very first time.)

—

“We’re here,” Roy announces.

Riza groans as she rouses from her nap. There’s an ache that’s starting to crawl into her head, and she wonders if she’s just had too much to drink earlier (she thinks she’s done a pretty good job of turning down the offers of free, expensive wine though). She rubs at her temples wearily, blinking hard in an attempt to dispel some of the lingering fatigue.

“Are you alright, Lieutenant?”

“Yes,” she answers, without hesitation. Riza straightens in her seat, smoothing out the creases in her outfit. It’s a fitting, champagne-coloured number that is as meddlesome as it is pretty. (Riza hasn’t worn something like this in a while, simply because there hadn’t been any occasion to. She thinks she’ll probably have a hard time getting out of it later.) She opens the door and stretches her legs out. “Let’s go, sir.”

“Alright.”

The motel is just like any other motel, Riza thinks. It’s old and musty and right in the middle of nowhere, managed by a receptionist who’s clearly half-asleep at their workstation. They check in under the guise of a civilian, childless couple, as usual. Elizabeth and Andrew Ditlev, yes, a room for two. We won’t be needing anything else, thank you. There’s the sound of keys jangling and paper notes rustling, and then she’s dragging her feet up the creaking stairs towards their room on the second floor, Roy’s hand hovering uncertainly over her back.

Riza nudges it away and reassures him that she’s just fine. (He continues fretting, anyway.)

—

It’s only after she’s taken a shower that Riza notes the irregularity in their room.

“Sorry,” Roy says. There’s a sheepish edge to his voice, but the way he’s grinning tells her that he’s not altogether unhappy about their current predicament. “I tried asking for another pillow, but reception said they’ve none left.”

Riza frowns. She moves to sit on the edge of the queen-sized bed, drying her hair with a thin towel. It’s not uncommon for them to share a bed; going on these undercover operations as a loving, married couple meant that it was only logical for them to do so. It’s not like she has anything against it, either, but she’s always maintained a distance from him, even while on the same bed. They usually sleep with their backs turned (although Roy has a peculiar habit of snaking his arm around her waist just before daybreak).

“Sorry,” Roy repeats, stifling a yawn. He’s already taken the liberty of going shirtless, while she was bathing. “You can take the pillow, if you’d like. I can go without.”

Riza shakes her head and gestures towards the shower.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll figure something out.”

He yawns again, dragging himself to the shower.

“Really, Lieutenant. It’s no hassle at all.”

Water starts running again, from the shower. Riza shifts towards the nightstand and picks up the phone. There’s a little note beside — press ‘0’ for reception and/or room service.

She does exactly that.

“What?”

“Hello,” Riza greets in response. “I’m calling from Room 204. We were wondering if you happened to have a spare pillow —”

“I already told you we have no more pillows,” the receptionist interrupts, groggily. Riza picks up on the poorly-concealed hint of annoyance and, somewhat annoyed herself, apologises insincerely for the apparent inconvenience caused. “Goodnight.”

The phone line goes dead.

Riza huffs. She puts the phone down and mutters something to herself about cheap motels and their stinginess. Resignedly, she fluffs the lone pillow and moves to lie down once her hair’s dry. (She thinks she’ll continue to keep her hair in a manageable bob like this, just for convenience’s sake — even if Roy prefers it otherwise.)

“Lieutenant,” he calls, sounding scandalised. Riza cracks an eyelid open and stares at him, as if to say, what? (She still has no idea how men do this so quickly, even after all these years in the military. It barely takes more than a minute for them to finish their ablutions, even though their bodies are nearly twice the size of hers. Thrice, if she’s including people like Major Armstrong in the count.) “What are you doing?”

“Sleeping. Or trying to.”

Roy makes a sound of disapproval as he dries himself (Riza turns away respectfully at this) and puts on his pajamas. She feels his weight on the mattress once he’s done, and when she refuses to budge from a spot he starts poking her from behind, like a needy child badgering their parents for an impossible gift (she doesn’t even remember behaving like this as a young girl).

Riza groans and rolls her shoulders. “What?”

“I told you to take the pillow, Lieutenant.”

“I told you it was fine.”

He clucks his tongue. Roy rolls her around to face him, and she bites her lips to stifle another groan.

“Stubborn as always, aren’t you?”

“Pot, kettle,” Riza murmurs wearily. She can barely keep her eyes open at this point, much less keep up with his nonsensical, baseless arguments. “Go to sleep, sir.”

Roy tries, vainly, to slip the pillow under her head a few minutes later, but Riza elbows him in the ribs and pulls the blanket over them, effectively ceasing the argument. He huffs petulantly and closes his eyes.

—

“Trouble sleeping?”

“No,” Riza mumbles, but it’s a lie. She knows that he knows it’s one. (It’s no secret that both of them have had trouble sleeping since the war.)

“You’re lying,” he says, though not accusingly.

Riza ignores him and clutches a handful of the motel’s standard-issue white blanket. She covers her eyes with them and tries to sleep, again, but she fails spectacularly at this otherwise simple task. There’s just something about motels and their pastel walls and background music that tends to set her on edge. Maybe it’s because it’s so unlike what she’s used to. (She’s fallen asleep to the sound of gunshots and explosions, more times than she has to Debussy.) Or maybe it’s the fact that she’s no longer sleeping on a single-sized bed, by herself.

“Are you sure you don’t want the pillow?”

“No.”

“Stubborn as ever,” he mutters. She thinks he’s given up on fighting a losing battle, when she feels his arms pulling her close.

“With all due respect —”

“Nothing inappropriate, Lieutenant. I promise you.” She struggles to free herself from his grip, but clearly, all the work he’s been putting at the gym lately has paid off. Riza glares at him, murderously. He simply grins. “Since they ran out of pillows, we’ll simply have to make one.”

“What, with alchemy?”

“Actually, that doesn’t sound entirely implausible.” Riza is about to push herself off his chest, when he tightens his grip around her. “But it’s late, and I’m tired, and besides, we’re supposed to be an ordinary couple, nothing else.”

The word rolls off his tongue infuriatingly. Riza gets the peculiar feeling that he’s enjoying this far more than he should be. She frowns, glancing at him from beneath her lashes.

“I do tend to move around a lot in my sleep, sir.”

“I know.” He shrugs against her, positioning her head so that it’s resting comfortably on his chest. Then Roy wraps his arms around her again, almost gleefully, uncaringly, as if there’s nothing inappropriate about their shared embrace. Riza huffs. “But it’s fine. Anything to help my favourite subordinate sleep.”

“How very kind of you, sir,” Riza mutters drily. She attempts, somewhat furtively, to tickle him - she knows all his weak spots by now - but Roy dodges it with surprising agility, like he would a bullet.

“Of course. Please make sure to give me a good performance review when the time comes,” he says, smirking in a way she can only describe as insufferable.

“Only if you stop drooling all over your desk.”

“For the record, I do not,” he says, with an injured sniff.

Riza rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t protest further. She won’t admit it aloud, but it’s nice, being held like this. Roy is unusually sweet in a way that he isn’t anywhere else. He hasn’t been this way since they were kids.

“Yes, you do,” Riza retorts softly, ignoring the lump in her throat.

(This scene is achingly familiar, like a vignetted memory, like an excerpt of a film she already knows the ending to. The ending is always the same in her dreams.)

Laughter rumbles from his chest. It is a lovely sound to hear, after a long day of work, but it rubs against her cheek ingratiatingly, and Riza makes a mental note to write a letter to the hotel when they’re back in the city — a not-too-gentle reminder to stock up on pillows and other necessities.

“We can save this argument for another time, Lieutenant. It’s two in the morning.”

Riza relents, because it is two in the morning. She thinks sleep should claim her now, rather than later; she’s been trying to cut down on her caffeine intake lately. But Roy starts stroking her hair, and then her back, like he’s trying to lull a child to sleep, and Riza has to swallow the satisfied hum lurking in her throat (she refuses to give him any satisfaction of knowing that she is, in fact, enjoying this, far more than she has any right to).

Riza clears her throat. She pushes his arm away.

“I’m not a cat, you know.”

Laughter, again. The caressing stops. She feels him pressing a kiss to the top of her head, and then he’s hugging her again, one arm resting languidly on her side like she’s some sort of a replacement bolster.

“I know. Goodnight, Riza,” he says, softly.

She doesn’t have the heart to remind him that they’re still on a mission.

“Goodnight,” Riza whispers. There’s a part of her that aches, yearns for this moment to be something more than a(nother) fleeting, stippled memory, but her bliss is abruptly broken by the commotion coming from upstairs — something about an adulterous affair and impecuniosity.

Riza shifts uneasily and tries to drown it all out by focusing on his heartbeat instead. It’s audible beneath her cheek — not quite like a lullaby, but close enough — just a gentle hum of life, enough to quell her frazzled nerves and lull her back into peace.

When she falls asleep at last, Riza dreams of something different, something that stems from her deepest desires.

(In her dreams, she’s in a white dress, and Roy is radiantly alive in a sunlit attic.)

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #I am once again posting a fic on company time LMAO #Emma my love I hope this brightens up your week a little <3 I tried my best to keep things fluffy and soft for u heheHEHE MWAH #ilysm friend!!! hang in there *hugs* <3 #reblogs and comments are always appreciated :")

[geminihalos]

Astro Analysis pt.2

Back at it again with a different family member’s chart, but this time it was upon request. I promise that I will start posting about famous ppls charts and why they are like the way they are. If yall want a specific famous person’s chart analysis then please take your time to comment on this post by putting a name in there.

Alright so the family member that i’m putting on the spot today is my own father.I ask for my family’s permission before posting anything relating to such matters.

I’m going to be quoting him a lot lmao bc its too iconic to leave out.

☀️Sun in Leo + Sun in the 10th house: Is in general very Confident and loud. Sometimes has no filter and is a huge lover of art, especially cooking. He expresses himself fully through his career which is also MC in Leo, meaning he is meant to be a leader. There is a sense of enjoyment in being generous and having a reliable reputation. Has a big heart, but won’t hesitate to cut away the unnecessary. Tiny bit of spoiled brat energy, but won’t admit it.

☀️ Ya’ll ever notice that Leo placements also love video games, and are very good at it. Ex: my own father, my cap brother with the leo rising, my aries archnemesis with a leo moon. All of ‘em love playing video games and spend hours grinding on getting the xp and the dubs.

☀️ Scorpio moon + moon in the 12th house: this placement is what makes him the easiest to talk to in my opinion because he understands the emotions and wisely handles them because this placement if highly developed. Scorp moons claim they don’t cry often, and he himself believes that crying is useless and he’d rather think about what to do next instead of moping around. Vague descriptions of how he feels, and enjoys deep convos.

☀️The 12th house is linked to the past life, the secrets, and subconscious, which means that he hides his emotions fairly well, and they’re well controlled with scorpio in there. Is aware of what’s going on inside his emotional nature. Reflective when developed and he has an innate desire to reach enlightenment. makes sense bc 12th house is linked to spirituality. Fuels the generosity and calms the ego.

☀️Mercury in Leo + Mercury in the 9th: once again very loud, but loves jokes and is very comedic. Satire humor because of scorpio influence. Naturally charismatic voice, knows how to command people in a socially acceptable way, and always has a tendency to talk over people to get his point across first. Strong in his beliefs and points especially bc mercury is in the 9th.

☀️ Mercury in the 9th makes him direct his logic to the way of life and helps him find ways to set his morals geared towards finding emotional freedom. See how this connects with scorpio moon in the 12th? Often talks about the philosophy of life and is bent on finding as much knowledge as possible, a natural scholar of life. Fun, loud, and confident. (his life path is 7: the investigator and knowledge seeker path)

☀️ Venus in virgo + venus in the11th: makes for a witty person and it's true that people with this placement prefer modest, savvy, clean, and sophisticated people. That’s why he married my mother (a capricorn in the VIRGO decan). Is conversational and loves to share knowledge (”useful and life-changing knowledge” as he puts it) when he’s bring social. 

☀️Venus in the 11th makes him loved by society, and once again can attract people’s attention. People find him generous, thoughtful, and quirky, which are the classic Virgo traits being expressed through Venus. Although his angsty Scorpio moon makes him preach introversion, he can talk to people just fluidly, and they like him.

☀️ Mars in Cancer + Mars in the 8th: Is passive aggressive and hard to anger for real, but once someone does trigger him, he gets explosive with his words and saying hurtful things in the moment. Once again like my cap brother but more heated. Actually good at tennis; ppl with mars in cancer are good at tennis like Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic, and Refael Nadal. 

☀️Likes to make people rage quit for the fun of it when playing competitively. “we have to make sure he doesn’t know we’re pros” he said, “why” I said, “because I want to destroy him and make him think he has another chance of beating me... just for me to destroy him bahahahah” (applies to video games and tennis)

☀️ The 8th house rules the secrets, the hidden, and also financial deals/transformations. What this means is that he directs his energy towards taking calculated risks when it comes to material wealth instead of managing/keeping it which is 2nd house specialty. Does stock market investing and claims that investing came natural to him (”it was in my blood” lmao). Lowkey Scary because his financial strategies are risky, but it takes strong guts to execute. 

☀️ASC in Scorpio with Uranus in the 1st: Lots of confidence here guys. Uranus rules Aquarius whose sign is opposite to leo. Therefore, he appears like he has a god complex since aquariuses can be louder and more narcissistic than even Leo. But then again, he has leo placements... oof. He comes across as someone quiet, strategic, and intimidating, but he has a distant and aloof look as well.  

☀️MC in Leo: Born to lead and forge his own path. He was given so much leeway and freedom to innovate and find his own way, that he matured very quickly without the help of his parent (aquarius in the 4th). The leader who shines, but with the scorp energy, he prefers to be more secretive and work behind the scenes.

☀️Fixed Dominant: “i’m so adAPtaBle what are you tAlKinG about” *proceeds to argue with my brother about why going this road is faster than the other even though he’s clearly wrong*

☀️He looks up to feminine sun signs a lot bc of his virgo venus and scorp moon: ex- Warren buffet (virgo), Bill gates (scorpio), John D Rockefeller (cancer). 

#astro observations #astro notes #Leo #scorpio moon #scorpio rising #leo sun #virgo venus #leo mercury #leo mc #moon in the 12th house #venus in the 11th house #sun in the 10th house #mercury in the 9th house #fixed signs #mars in the 8th house #8th house #uranus in the 1st house #rage quit

[hikarus-shida]

Hook: “Everything Feels Real and Fake”

Hook x gender neutral! reader

genre: not sure what genre but it’s a good frickin’ time

warning: drug usage (edibles), consuming edibles, mentions being high and shit somewhat not feeling or seeming real, munchies as fuck, kinda bad language

summary: hook and the reader decide to be super adventurous, doing something they’ve never done before. when the reader is given *special* treats and they try them for the first time, the two of them end up understanding why people get high.

tag list: @cutierocker202 @bec0m @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @elitehunter

imagines masterlist

another one of my own ideas turned into an imagine since i got high on friday, so i’m taking inspo from myself and my experiences. of course in no way am i trying to convince or push getting high onto anyone. i wouldn’t want anyone to do something they’re not interested in doing. and if there are people that do get high that are reading this that don’t think it’s accurate, we all have different experiences when high (edibles or smoking!). i, personally, am the biggest idiot when i’m high and nothing ever feels real!

*i do not own this gif!*

You stared at the package of “candy” in your hand, contemplating on whether or not you wanted to eat them. You were so deep in thought that you hadn’t noticed Hook walked into your room and furrowed his brows at you, confused by your lack of movement and why you were looking at candy. “What’s that?” His voice made you jump out of your thoughts and shyly smiled at him, fumbling with the candy.

You lifted up the packaging and showed it to him. Hook began to laugh, it soon becoming uncontrollable as he held onto his stomach. “Stoney Patch? Where the hell did you get edibles from?” He asked, his laughter subsiding as he began to control himself. Hook opened up the candy package and took a whiff, his nose scrunching at the scent, which made you snatch the package back.

“I got it from a friend. They said I should try it out since I never have before.” You shrugged, laying the edibles package off to the side of your nightstand and moving back down onto your bed. You had never gotten high and it seemed very undesirable at the moment, but it wouldn’t hurt to experience it. You’d either like it or hate it, and if you hated it.. then you’d never have to do it again.

“Well shit, let’s try it.” Hook said, walking over to your nightstand and picking up the package again. He looked at the packaging, confusion taking over as he tried to understand what everything meant. “500 milligrams? How much are we supposed to eat?”

You raised your eyebrows at him as he read the back of the package, “You actually want to eat them?”. Hook nodded, reaching into the packaging and grabbed two sour patches, smelling it before moving to put it in his mouth.

You looked at him in shock and grabbed his hand. “You’re just gonna eat it straight like that without thinking? Let’s be logical here.” You said, holding his hand while Hook rolled his eyes and still put the edible in his mouth, beginning to chew. You sighed and followed his lead, grabbing two sour patches and put it in your mouth, chewing it. Once the two of you swallowed the edible, you both practically gagged at the after taste. “That’s horrible.” You coughed, immediately reaching for water on your nightstand and drinking it.

Hook turned off your lights and then laid down next to you on your bed. “When do you think this shit will hit?” He asked, beginning to make himself comfortable on your bed. You shrugged, you didn’t know too much about edibles or getting high, which you knew was very stupid of you since you had just taken two and didn’t know what to expect. “It shouldn’t be like more than a couple of hours.” You estimated, grabbing your phone to look at the time.

The two of you laid in bed, cuddling and talking about random things while your favorite tv show played in the background quietly. At first, eating the edibles and waiting for them to kick in was very underwhelming. There was nothing that made you believe it was going to be some other worldly experience and quite frankly, you thought they were shit because it had been an hour and half already with nothing happening.

“Y/N,” You heard Hook groan, turning to look at him. Hook was playing with his lips with his finger, pulling at them and rubbing them with his fingers. “My mouth is so dry.” He whined, then began to start laughing at absolutely nothing, which made you laugh. However as soon as you opened your mouth, you felt the dryness when you began to pull your lips apart to laugh. Hook gasped when he started to feel all over his skin and rub his arms, his eyes widening as he gave you a goofy smile.

Okay, maybe you underestimated how hard these would hit you. Right now, you felt like you were sinking into your bed and the world was spinning, but it felt so good. When you looked back at Hook and felt his arms, you also gasped. “You feel like leather!” Your voice had went a bit higher when you spoke, something unnoticeable to the two of you. Hook looked at you, mouth agape as he started to feel himself again. “I do!”

The two of you spent most of your time talking about things that didn’t even make sense. Hook was talking about how snails weren’t real and how Gary from Spongebob wasn’t a realistic source. “When have you ever seen a real life Gary?” He asked, rolling his eyes, as his words were getting slower and less constructed. You sat there for a few seconds, actually believing him and began to question everything you’ve ever known. “Oh my god, Gary isn’t real!” You said, running a hand through your hair from shock. Hook nodded solemnly and put a hand on your shoulder, “He never was and snails were created to trick us.”

The whole snail debacle had made you grow hungry, your stomach growled and and the thought of food sounded amazing. You licked your dry lips, that became dry yet again, and grabbed your phone. Clicking on your food delivery applications didn’t even feel real and as soon as you were on the app, you were confused to how you even got there or forgot that you had grabbed your phone in the first place. Hook was giggling to himself while you scrolled through several restaurants before settling on your favorite comfort food and ordered a ridiculous amount of food from pizza to wings to garlic bread, which you knew you’d regret once you come down from your high after seeing all the money you spent.

“I just ordered pizza and it’s going to taste so frickin’ good.” Your voice slurred as your eyes kept closing, it was hard to keep them open. You moved around on your bed, trying to get comfortable, and when you grazed your fluffy blanket, it was a feeling never felt before. The softness on your skin was such a satisfying, truly unexplainable feeling. It didn’t even make sense how good it felt. Meanwhile, Hook was completely mesmerized by the random stock photos that displayed on your tv screen while it sleeps. Photos ranging from random scenery in the mountains or lakes to animals had Hook in a trance.

“This is the best vacation I’ve ever been on.” Hook happily sighed as a slight smile appeared on his face while he continued to look at the photos, which you soon joined in on. “Hook, when did we go to the zoo? Why are we in Alaska now? Did we time travel?” You made comments after each photo and it actually did feel like you were in every picture that showed up.

The food you had ordered a while ago had finally came and walking down the stairs was an experience. Hook had forgotten that he had legs and almost fell down the stairs, which resulted in you have to grab onto him the whole way down. When you opened your door and looked outside, the sight of nature had almost moved you to tears. The bright light blue sky and the tree leaves dancing in the light wind was something you thought you created in your mind, but it was real and it was very weird to try to comprehend that.

The two of you went back up to your room and laid the food on your bed. Once again, what you had done previously felt like a dream and not something you had actually done. Everything that was happening right now, even opening the pizza box, felt like a huge dream. Hook took a bite of his pizza and groaned, chewing slowly. “This tastes so good.” He said, taking more bites after.

It took you both almost 40 minutes to even make a dent in your food, that’s how slow the two of you were eating. The slow eating wasn’t even to savor the food, it was because of your movements and how long it took you to process all of this, but it did also taste delicious. You decided to be creative and somehow put your pizza slice on top of your garlic bread and took a bite, nodding your head at the flavors jumping in your mouth. “You’re fucking that shit up!” Hook said, laughing loudly while he looked at you. The two of you were a mess; tomato sauce was on the corner of your lips, Hook had tomato sauce on his nose somehow, and both of you had fingers coated in barbecue.

The two of you knew that you needed to get cleaned up and that’s what you did, starting with throwing out the boxes of food, which was a hard enough task due to the current circumstances. Hook had almost dropped all of the food onto the floor and you had forgotten where your trash can was. When it was time for you to wash your hands, it was a top ten feeling. The water on your skin and the pressure of the water was perfect, it felt so wrong yet it was so right and you didn’t want to turn the water off. You swore shivers ran down your spine while you washed your hands.

After you had cleaned up, the two of you laid on your bed again. Now the exhaustion was hitting you and what you really wanted to do was sleep. Hook took you into his arms as the two of you laid on your sides, looking at each other. “I’ve been with you all day and you still don’t even look real to me.” He laughed, reaching a hand out to feel your face.

While you laid there, it took a few more hours for you to feel almost like yourself again. It was strange going from feeling somewhat normal back to being high out of your mind over and over again. Hook, on the other hand, enjoyed it. Being high gave him some kind of solace and relaxation, on top of feeling everything at a more heightened sense that also made him feel silly, was fun to him. He enjoyed it so much that he made sure to ask you, once this was all over, when the next time the two of you would be doing this.

You decided that you didn’t hate your experience or how getting high felt, so you’d start doing it whenever either of wanted to. Surely it wouldn’t be an every day thing, which you two agreed was a crazy idea, but doing it sporadically going forward gave the two of you something to be excited about.

#hook #aew hook #aew hook imagine #aew hook headcanon #aew hook drabble #aew #aew imagine

[generalchelseamayhem]

I got a whole bunch of rants I need to get out there that are critical of trans activism, but I think it would be beneficial etc. etc., Part 2.

Apologies, this is a long one and I'm not Tumblr-savvy enough to insert a ReadMore on mobile.

Let's start with what I actually hate about TERFs. Not in a tribalistic MRA-vs-easy-target-feminists nor progressive-LGBT-vs-secret-conservatives kind of way, but actual moral, philosophical and logical disagreements.

I consider myself a scientist. I believe that there are real observable things in the world, and that for some things, you don't need to reduce them (e.g. the wild complexity of human emotions!) to dry and factual scientific explanations every time, but on the other hand it does help to know how these things actually work if an explanation exists! Rather than to say, for example, that it's all just a beautiful spectrum, and how scientifically knowable is it really?

And of course, within the sciences I am a geneticist first and foremost. I believe that careful study of DNA can yield answers to questions nobody could even have conceived would have been answered by genetics. I believe that epigenetics is a field only now coming out of its infancy, and the revelations it might give us will cause more than a few introspective moments for people who know the field.

I guess what I'm saying is, it makes intuitive sense to me when TERFs, or even regular people pushing back against trans activist rhetoric that may be a little hard to digest, say that a person's biology is generally a very reliable determinant of what gender they end up as. We observe that humans have chromosomes in pairs, and cases where they don't have pairs are both extremely rare and prone to causing a variety of not very fun disorders. One set of chromosomes in particular, the so-called X and Y chromosomes (named for their apparent shapes), contain different sets of genes that, especially for matters of sexual reproduction, produce two noticeably distinct phenotypes.

And of course, there are exceptions to this arrangement! There are different systems in play for moths, insects, birds and crustaceans. The point is to say that genetic differences matter, and they produce observably consistent differential morphology, especially with regard to gonads. There are also intersex people, but this is a function of the mechanisms of genetics not working properly - XX Male syndrome, for example, is a result of a really important part of the Y chromosome crossing over to the X during meiosis. There's nothing wrong with being born with such genetic anomalies, I should stress! But however messy biology can get I don't think it's useful to pretend that X chromosomes normally carry SRY genes, because frankly they don't. And so, we consider people born with XX chromosomes to be female, and with XY chromosomes to be male, and anything else to be some kind of disorder. I find this logic entirely reasonable and I was never, ever on board with the whole "coercively assigned __ at birth" thing, because it puts blame where there should be none and punishes perfectly understandable assumptions about human morphology.

Back to TERFs then. I am well aware that TERFs make their arguments in bad faith, started from their conclusion and worked backwards, but to choose one signature point of contention, it's that they put far too much stock in genetics as a determinant of gender.

See, to roughly define the terms as I understand them, your sex is the sexual morphology you're born with. Gender is how you perceive yourself within that framework. Being trans is simply when the sexual morphology your genetics have given your body doesn't match what your brain thinks you should have.

This definition makes intuitive sense to me: why wouldn't there be an issue where someone born with a particular set of parts might perceive themselves as having been given the wrong ones by accident? Biology is messy after all.

Not to TERFs though, oh no. To them, gender is sex is biology. You are what your body tells you you are and that is final, no room for grey areas. And that's nuts. Who conceives of their own gender identity, never mind other people's, in terms that start with their genitals and stop before they reach the brain? I've lately been tempted to ask a TERF what gender they are, and supposing they said they were a woman, I would reply "How do you know? I didn't see you check to make sure you still had a vagina, and I'm pretty sure I'd have seen you sequencing your DNA." Obviously you actually get the answer from your brain, not your chromosomes or your genitals!

All of this is to reassure you, the trans-friendly reader, that any disagreements I have with trans activist rhetoric pale in comparison to my disagreements with TERFs, who blatantly and obviously want trans people to go extinct, where most trans people just want to live.

And yet, I keep seeing a strange synchronicity between TERFs and some of the more impressionable trans people I've ever encountered, which is to do with how each defines gender in relation to gender roles: at a certain point, the two concepts become one and the same.

It's like watching two people start from opposite premises and come to the same conclusion.

Driven rabid by trans people's refusal to let them and them alone have the final say on the concept of womanhood, TERFs will flip straight from misandry to misogyny without even batting an eye. One minute you hear "all men are rapists", the next it's "all men are brutishly strong and all women are afraid of that" and before you know it you've become the feminist in that conversation, trying to argue against points like "women are made of glass and completely physically helpless against any man."

That in itself is bad enough, but it's not quite misogynistic for TERFs, oh no. I've already touched on their definition of gender by genitals, but it's when you ask them what the big deal is about defining gender any other way that they really go on a tear. Again, misandry to misogyny. One minute it's "trans women are actually just perverted men wanting to invade women's spaces", then "trans people want to rob women of the concept of womanhood", and eventually "they're stealing the concept of motherhood from women, who are the only true parents that have ever existed". Or "you can always tell who is trans" turns into "there are exactly 12 criteria which define femininity that every True Woman meets", to the exclusion of every slightly gender-nonconforming woman ever. This is why bathroom arguments about trans people have gotten cis women kicked out of them.

And yet, trans people are scarcely any better at this, for all that they can be assumed to have better intentions than TERFs. I admit, to use an example, I have always been leery of the concept of eggs. For those not in the know, that's a term a lot of trans people (online at least) use to describe someone who doesn't know they're trans yet (I suppose when it cracks, they 'hatch' into a new person? Not sure of the etymology). On its own it's not a bad concept, but if you ask someone who talks about eggs a lot what their egg-cracking moment was, they'll say the most gender stereotypical nonsense you've ever heard. Like, I would ASSUME there was some dysphoria in there somewhere, not just "well I wanted to know how to make my voice sound feminine" or "I thought I might look good in a dress" or "how about I try makeup", which for all the LGBT historians playing at home, are just as much a hallmark of drag queens as they are for strict feminine gender conformity. I just feel like determining actual gender by degrees of gender conformity might go down as a bad idea in the long run, is what I'm saying. And I feel like the LGBT community of all things should collectively know and appreciate that.

Again, this would be dodgy enough, but I've also seen people assigning 'egg' status to people both fictional and real in an attempt to find or manufacture the representation they wish for among celebrities and popular entertainment. First of all, never ever depend on celebrities for your self esteem in any respect. Their entire livelihood is essentially about flaunting how better they are than you. Don't fall for it. Second, and perhaps much more importantly, this is just the TERF "we can always tell" rhetoric again, in the opposite direction. I am very firm on requiring dysphoria in my definition of the category of trans people, and this is why; any attempt to divorce transness from dysphoria just ends up replicating old-fashioned gender roles with a progressive veneer.

[Past this point I start meandering a lot]

Maybe it wouldn't be quite so grating if the other half of disagreeable online trans rhetoric wasn't some faux-cutesy "do whatever, science is fake, biology says nothing, sex chromosomes are wild and infinitely varied, your gender is what you make of it babes 😘", but each side of the coin certainly throws the other into sharp relief. You cannot seriously believe both that there is no scientific basis for how gender is broadly determined among living creatures, and that trying on different clothes at age 12 makes you an egg. Not to mention I find it insulting, but that's a me thing. (Don't mind me, I'm just trying to discover actual facts, mechanisms and processes behind how being trans works, sorry if I consider "biology is a beautiful spectrum" a wholly unsatisfactory answer.)

I guess this is part of why I have a hard time conceptualising "non-binary" as a gender. It seems far more suited, in both naming and in practical effect, to refer to an approach to gender roles rather than an actual gender unto itself. Even the types of non-binary people who say "sometimes I feel more like a boy and other times like a girl" are describing binary alternatives! Flipping between one and the other doesn't make either of them less binary!

Look, I don't want to be mean, I hope you know that. It's just, as a scientist I appreciate people who are consistent about their definitions of concepts. I define things like "transness" and "sex" and "gender" the way I do because they strike me as consistent. And one big problem I have when trying to engage with today's trans rhetoric is being totally unable to keep definitions consistent. I have no idea what most people define as "gender", since there's a lot in there that doesn't seem to fit my own idea, nor "sex" (especially the 'sex is a social construct' types), and gender roles seem to have been entirely subsumed into the concept of gender itself. And it seems like whenever an inconsistency in definitions or meanings or even implications of meanings is called into question, the default response is to shrug and say that each person's lived experience is their own. That's not wrong, per se, but I'd like some answers and I'd rather not be made to feel like a transphobe merely for wanting to understand trans people better. A good question that I've never received an answer to is "How can you be trans without dysphoria?" and the only thing that's ever been clear to me afterwards is that the responder has no idea what their own definition of gender is.

I want to understand, but I don't feel as though I'm being allowed to.

#trans

[obeymeluv]

The Bros as Dads

PSA: The boys would be very attractive dads (emotionally and physically). That is all.

Note: the headcanon also includes genders for the kids. I can see some of them having sons, and others having daughters. And, obviously, everyone is older (20′s-ish).

Lucifer

Takes a while to process the news. It’s kind of a big thing. His love life was something of a roller coaster (or nonexistent) until you. The ‘L’ word was a hurdle, now there’s a B word and a P word?!

When his brain realizes what you’ve said or if you show him some proof, the pride takes over FULL SWING (you can feel it explode in him, like his aura) and he purrs

You are truly his stars, his moon, and the heavens he so dearly misses

There’s this raw, vulnerable love in Lucifer’s eyes and it pretty much awes everyone because he’s usually so proper and reserved

The memories are old and dusty but Lucifer’s parenting instincts are strong

A type-A, fussy person. You may have 7 months left before you give birth, but the house will be spotless and perfectly proofed before you hit bed rest

Piles of parenting books suddenly sprout around the house. No one’s sure where they came from or how there’s even that many WRITTEN about parenting.

You and the child become his world. You’re his kryptonite, the only thing to convince him away from long hours or break him out of sour moods

Lucifer is very stressed, more than he thought he’d be, because you’re carrying his child and he worries for your health.

He’s with you every step of the way, from appointments to birth

He’d absolutely drop everything to tend to your needs, or appoint one of the brothers if he couldn’t.

Likes to busy himself with making a nursery and is actually good at themes/interior decorating

Has a tiny desk built in his study. The child won’t be able to join him for a while, but the idea of his tiny joy working on something beside him warms his heart

Hunts down obscure herbs and items from folklore that are supposed to bless pregnancies or benefit the unborn. Turns out he’s really nervous and superstitious.

Lucifer is the worst when it comes to shopping because his pride outweighs his logical restraint. If he convinces himself IN THE SLIGHTEST that his child would look good in something or the nursery could really use an item, it’s coming to the House of Lamentation

He ugly cries when he realizes you’re having a girl because he feels like Lilith has been given back to him.

Refuses to name his child Lilith because of everything that happened. Can’t settle for anything close to her name or any nicknames they gave her.

Makes you a sleeping space in his study. Loves to take breaks to watch you sleep. Unintentionally takes a break to kiss your stomach and talk to the baby.

Firm believer in ‘in the belly’ enrichment so you’ll have music playing and Lucifer will read to them all the time.

If the baby’s not with you, she’s with him. Lucifer has definitely shown up to a meeting with Lord Diavolo with his baby in a chest carrier. The meeting went flat because Diavolo wanted to play with the baby.

He’s the type of dad that demands total silence when the baby’s sleeping. Might have tied up some of his brothers to achieve it.

He’s not a total hard-ass (this kid has made a sucker out of him, okay?) but his kid will definitely have manners and knows to help clean up.

The type to take naps with his kid. He’ll get up at 2 in the morning and climb into their crib if they’re fussy.

Lucifer spent so much of his life being the primary caretaker for his bros that he forgets he’s not alone this time. When you push him back down so he can sleep, and tend to your daughter, his heart almost bursts with love.

On the fence about another child. The kid’s going to have pride in spades and he thinks a sibling will humble them (and make them less lonely). He’s also afraid of that prideful wrath and doesn’t want two prideful little demons always fighting

Isn’t the best with dressing up his kid but likes to give them fancy shoes. The shoes are always on point even if the rest of the outfit is a disaster.

Is 100% ready to receive any and everything “#1 Dad” because he IS, DAMN IT. He’ll use it regularly, too.

Mammon

He’s freaking out hardcore (”You sure? Really, really sure? Maybe you just have gas or something. Y-yeah!”)

Doesn’t believe it until he sees a test. Promptly faints. Dead-ass faints as soon as he sees it.

Kind of remembers it when he wakes up, and you have to remind him again.

This time he’s pretty excited because THE GREAT MAMMON will be having a child. WHAT A GIFT, RIGHT? THE BEST GIFT!

All the magazines are snapping up this gossip and, for once in his life, he puts the earnings away. Kid has a nice fund going before they’re even born.

His schedule is 50% work, 50% family because YOUR MAIN MAN HAS TO BE THERE. Work just pays the bills and pads the nursery account, okay?

The Devildom has something similar to a baby shower and Mammon puts all KINDS of high-dollar shit on there. His baby’s going to be stylin’, okay?

Some crying in front of others, but an entirely different kind of crying behind closed doors. Vulnerable, grateful crying about being loved and having a tiny someone who will love him, too

Pays someone to explain baby stuff to him. How to change them, feed them, what type of breathing you should be doing. It surprised his bros because Lucifer could just give him that info. The fact that Mammon paid for it means he’s pretty serious about learning.

Gets tons of free maternity photos because all his magazines want the scoop. He gets to pamper you and see you all dressed up and beautiful and EVERY magazine has a shot of him crying like a proud sap.

Mammon hoards all of those pictures. Has a pile of them in his room, totally separate from everything else.

Has a lot of nervous energy and can get frustrated with all the baby books, so he distracts himself with scrap-booking. Surprisingly good at it.

Mammon thinks you’re just the most beautiful thing ever. He loves taking pictures of you. Wants the kid to have no doubts about how much he loves them and their parent.

He’s so lovesick. When you sleep or hug your belly or just touch it he melts.

Stacks Grimm on your belly when you sleep. Thinks it’s fun. Likes to record how big the towers get.

Not the best at getting up for your random-hour cravings and has definitely made you cry with his bluntness. When he’s more awake he’ll apologize and you guys will work it out.

When he finds out he’s having a little boy, the bros throw a party. Mammon gets semi-drunk and has a huge, ass-chewing lecture about how the bros made him feel for centuries and how they better not say ANYTHING like that to his kid.

You shot down any and all attempts to name the kid anything money related.

Almost passed out when you had the baby.

Cried when he first held him. Calls him Mamm-mini.

Totally planning the baby’s first photo shoot. Has people on standby to make matching outfits.

He now has a partner in crime and the kid can charm the pants off of anyone!

Mammon is 100% devoted to this kid and he secretly hopes he’s the favorite parent.

Lives for any second of bonding he can get. NEEDS IT TO LIVE. 100% a sappy dad.

The most supportive dad, always saying nice things because he knows people didn’t always say nice things about him.

Levi

Brain stops working. You almost think you’ve given him a heart attack

Levi feels you take the controller from his hand and instantly has to fill it with something else, taking yours. He looks at you and asks you again if you’re sure.

He can see it in your eyes and he just crows. He doesn’t know if he’s excited or scared but he made the noise.

Worries A LOT about the idea of becoming a father. Can gross otakus be good fathers? How does he dad?

Gets pre-stressed about social interactions. Kids have to go to school and have play-dates and Levi’s going to have to talk to people...ugh! Gross!

Definitely has a few break-downs (feelings of inadequacy, etc.) before Lucifer or Satan comfort him. He’s better than he thinks, just insecure. Everyone learns as they go. They have classes (”They’re like cheat codes, Levi.”) and it makes him feel better

His gaming friends send their congratulations and he gets lots of themed blankets and onesies.

Wants you to have a water birth because the water is his child’s calling. Really attached to the idea.

He’s constantly looking up guides to baby-proofing, double- and triple-checking safety specs of anything before buying it.

Spends HOURS scouring Akuzon, comparing brands, and reading reviews for everything.

Akuzon noticed he was buying lots of baby books and looking at baby-related things so they sent him a onesie.

You get a lovely beach/water-themed maternity shoot and Levi is so love-struck he gets a nosebleed. Once he’s cleaned up it makes a darling photo shoot.  

Has already made lists of anime for the kid to watch. Some are his favorite, some are for the lessons and moments that stuck with him

Asmo messaged TSL on the down-low and Levi got some quality kid-sized merch.

Tries to get you to name the baby Henry if it’s a boy. When he finds out it’s a girl, he pushes for Henrietta.

Reads TSL to the baby and plays ocean sounds.

As you get further along in your pregnancy, he buys a fridge for his room and stocks it with your favorite cold stuff. Any snack foods are just added to his stash.

You are absolutely worshipped. Craving something? Akuzon has it and the fastest pig is on it’s way. Your feet hurt? Try a water bath!

You’re his Player 2 now and forever (always have been), and he’s keeping you in perfect health.

Probably keeps a video journal for the kid or of the two of you during your pregnancy. Big on preserving stuff digitally.

Probably makes a game for his kid just because. They’ll be able to play it when they’re older.

Bought a ton of Magical Girl-style hairbows and things for when their hair grows in. His daughter’s a fucking princess, okay?

Belphegor bought the baby a goldfish onesie and Levi loves it to pieces.

Bought the baby a seashell bassinet and rocks them to sleep with his tail.

Levi has a bad sleep schedule and wakes easily, so he’s usually the first one to get up and handle the baby.

He has this complex about being a good dad. People can call him a weird, gross otaku but they’re ALSO going to mention how good of a dad he is!

Super affectionate with his kid in a quiet, whispering, mumbling way. Just thinks they’re the best thing.

Having a daughter really makes him rethink some of the ways he viewed anime characters and made him super critical. If his daughter ends up liking anime he’ll make it very clear what he thinks and how she shouldn’t let other people treat her like an object. 

His demon form gets triggered REALLY EASILY if his bros hold her for too long. THAT’S HIS BABY, THANK YOU!

Satan

Secretly hoped to be a father one day. Wanted to prove so badly that he could be one, and move past the constant fear of his temper looming over him. He didn’t want wrath to be his only legacy.

Can’t manage more than a genuine smile and a lilting laugh when you tell him, but he’s literally almost sick with joy. He’s just not the type to jump from the rooftops or anything

Asmodeus and Mammon convince him into drinking because he needs to let loose and really show it!

Satan ends up drunk-stumbling to Lucifer and plunking his head into his chest and crying. He’s crying because he’s happy and mumbling something about ‘granddad’. When his tears dry he’s happy as can be, smugly calls Lucifer an ‘old fuck’ and promptly throws up.

They’re past most of their bad blood but even Lucifer wasn’t surprised Satan never got EVERYTHING out of his system. A lot of his childhood memories are tainted with pure wrath instead of coming into his cardinal sin through some other mean. Or naturally, like puberty.

Between his personal research and Lucifer’s expertise, the baby-proofing is totally covered.

His book binges are strictly about pregnancies, suspicions, rituals, parenting, and anything he can think of that has to do with kids.

He’s big on teas and brews that are supposed to help with pregnancies and pains. Uses his many connections to get ingredients for said teas

Reads the classics and big epics to his unborn child.

Buys you some Hellcats for protection. They’re fiercely loyal, so he’ll know you’re safe.

He’d be the type to nag you about your diet, but not to be mean. He’d support it with this absolute WALL of evidence that turns into a lecture that could last for hours.

Has to fight the Hellcats to sit next to you or touch your belly a lot more than he thought he would. He’d never say it out loud, but he’s starting to hate the cats (he doesn’t mean it though).

Starts cleaning up his book piles a lot more. The baby would get hurt if the stacks fell on them. His room becomes virtually spotless.

You pick books to read together. You end up reading Satan to sleep, too. He keeps a hand on your belly.

Gets nervous about you wanting to go out, and basically tries to keep you in the House of Lamentation. Relents a little because hormones make you scary. He was basically afraid of nothing because the walks were fine.

You like to sit in the Devildom gardens and he thinks you look picturesque and wonderful. It takes his breath away.

Asmodeus is your personal photographer because Satan doesn’t think anyone else will do you justice.

Finds out you’re having boy-girl twins and totally shuts down. What does he say? How does he respond? BELPHIE OR BEEL WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE TWINS! WHY HIM?!

Lucifer is BEYOND amused. This is definitely payback for everything Satan did in his childhood (so the saying goes).

It doesn’t bother him as much when he starts buying smart little cardigans, button-ups, ribbons, and bowties. He’s actually quite happy.

The Hellcats act weird and tip him off to your contractions before your water breaks. Satan gets you to the hospital and helps you give birth. The twins grow to look more like him than you, but if someone mistakes you for the nanny or says something derogatory, he’s pulling two ferocious kids off an idiot

Satan was afraid he’d be a short fuse, but he becomes the parent that explains everything to death (for better or worse). The kids will get a lecture when they’re bad, when the ask ‘why’ to something, he’ll explain why he gave the punishment he did, and be very clear with anything.

Asmodeus

Quickly falls in love with the idea of you being pregnant. It’s the best! Proof of his truest love, the thing that makes his heart beat!

He loved you to pieces before you were pregnant, and loves you even more now (if that’s possible).

Always wants to be with you, smothering your belly with kisses and touches and looking at it like it’s the next greatest love of his life

Takes names very seriously. “My child is a gift unto this world. People will know their name, so it has to be a good one!”

Gets really wrapped up in decor and aesthetic. He’d be a one-man force for all of it if you didn’t tell him to stop and breathe! Asmodeus just has lots of ideas, okay?

Has a really hard time understanding the value of baby-proofing until Satan smushes a few of his lipsticks in his hand and knocks around some finishing powder (”Now imagine that. All the time. With anything you love.”). 

Hires someone to baby-proof the room because that’s just not his thing. He’ll handle securing the valuables, okay?

Constantly reading about beauty rituals and things to do for his pregnant wife. She’s doing something really hard and deserves to be pampered!

You’ll constantly be pampered or trying ‘this and that’ because he read it was good for the baby. Good for beauty, good for health, etc.

Has a pretty decent diet, himself, and keeps you on yours.

You definitely have pregnancy sex a few times. Anything he can do to help you out, you know?

Asmodeus ADORES watching you grow round with his child and LIVES for helping you take care of yourself. He’ll let you lounge in his fantastic tub and has no issues sitting on the floor and doing your toes

Picks out all your outfits. Wants you to look your best! Don’t worry, you’ll be comfy!

When he finds out you’re having a girl he cries. A lot.

SO MANY BABY UPDATE BROADCASTS ON DEVILGRAM! There is an official ‘baby watch’. It’s trending more than you thought it would.

Takes TONS of videos.

His baby is easily the most fashionable child in all of Devildom.

Takes really candid, private photos that have a lot of sentimental value. A lot of your pregnancy photos are you looking comfy in bed or sitting at a vanity in breezy clothes as he does your makeup.

The type of dad to sit down in the middle of the store to play with toys (are they good enough for his kid? Like, really?). Must feel everything before he buys it. If he doesn’t like how it feels, he won’t buy it.

You end up giving birth earlier than planned and Asmo almost throws up because birth doesn’t look like he thought it would

Super nervous during your pregnancy because you’re in pain and there’s lots of noises.

Busies himself doing your makeup because that’s the only way he can handle the situation. You’re holding his tail and he SWEARS you’re going to break it off!

The bros help deliver his little angel and Asmo is SMITTEN. ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN.

Holding his baby 24/7.

Loses sleep just because he watches them sleep. Sometimes he loses sleep for real because DAMN, babies don’t sleep a lot, do they?

It’s really hard to adjust to and he’s surprised his skin isn’t god-awful.

Doesn’t regret a thing, fawning over their tiny nails and little curls, and OMG EVERYTHING! Cries a lot because they’re just perfect

His wardrobe reflects his dad status but he still looks like a DILF. You can give him the most classic dad attire and it just looks good on him.

Beelzebub

He’s excited about your pregnancy. Boy honestly tried for it, you know? Studied positions and everything.

Beelzebub has so much love and the idea of holding a tiny someone just warms his heart

Everything kid-related is totally foreign to him except for how to act with them. He and Belphie were the youngest so he was used to being taken care of until he got old enough to climb and eat on his own.

The type of guy to need explicit, step-by-step instructions on EVERYTHING. He doesn’t have a brain for it like Satan or Lucifer, so he needs help

Seriously. Give him a checklist for baby-proofing and he’ll get it done.

Gets pretty down about not being able to cuddle and snuggle like normal, but he’ll look into safe ways to do so.

Has special snuggles with the baby. Kisses your belly and rubs it. Talks to your baby like the little demon it is (even if it doesn’t have a name yet).

Lives for the times you talk to the baby, talk yourself out of bed, or how you absently talk to your belly throughout the day.

Works out to deal with stress and nerves, but also because he wants to be a good, strong dad

The doctors give him a list of exercises you can do and he does them with you

Can’t really take the nutrition advice seriously. He eats pretty much everything and you probably will, too.

When people ask him about your pregnancy, he uses very inclusive language (”We’re expecting, etc.”)

You make mini-dates out of your late-night cravings. Beel is totally in love with it.

Beelzebub becomes your food finder. There’s been times where you look at him so cutely, so imploringly, and all you can manage is ‘spicy and crunchy’. He’ll find you something, don’t worry! He’s an expert!

Big on massages and cuddling. Likes to cup his hands over your belly and trace it.

The type of dad to gain weight with you as your pregnancy moves along. Becomes soft, strong dad.

Finds out you’re having twin boys and has the happiest crying session ever. Belphie is the first to know and all Beel can say is ‘Just like us!’ as he nearly crushes his twin to death.

Likes to dress them in cute and comfy clothes. Animal onesies? Yes!

At some point yours twins are going to look like hotdogs and hamburgers. There’s no shortage of food costumes thanks to Levi, Asmo, and Beel.

Suspicious about baby food, bugs Satan about how nutritious it is, and tries all of it just to be sure.

Some of their teething toys look like real food. Beelzebub ate one on accident.

Is a perfect gentle giant. Afraid of hurting them, for they are tiny and precious, but gets over that pretty quickly.

Always wants to cuddle and hold them. You have to make him leave them alone to sleep. Gets kind of sad when they’re napping because he can’t make faces at them or hear them laugh. Right back to his usual self when they wake up, though.

You best believe they learn their alphabet by studying food. Beelzebub will stand in the kitchen and dig through the pantry until he finds things that match the letters of the alphabet 

Belphegor

He’s kind of surprised you ended up pregnant because the sex is usually lazy and casual. Yes, he has the moments where it’s pretty hardcore, but...wow. For some reason, he just didn’t see you getting pregnant.

Secretly hopes you have more than one kid. Something in him would just be happy if there’s more than one kid. You think it comes from the time he spent alone in the attic but never say it.

Sleeps a lot more. Not out of avoidance or anything, but because naps will be rare in the future. He likes to think he’s stockpiling sleep.

Makes sure you’re comfy at all times.

Would love for you to sleep and be cozy but apparently that’s not healthy for humans, so he takes easy walks around the house and keeps you semi-active.

He’ll give you his cow pillow to use as a back pillow. It’s his way of letting the baby use it until he can share it with them.

Listens to a lot of audiotapes about parenting. Looks at books, too, but does better with audio. 

Reads a new bedtime story to your kid every night.

Sometimes you guys sleep in the star room so he can talk to them about constellations. They can’t see anything, of course, but he still goes into detail.

Isn’t much of a picture person and doesn’t see the point in taking maternity pictures. It’s actually because Belphie has a photographic memory so he remembers everything.

The bros force him into taking maternity pictures.

The type to journal everything. He writes a big-ass, super-detailed diary for the baby.

Is kind of worried about his temperament, so he’ll take some classes on how to handle stress and stuff before the babies arrive

Becomes King of Lists. There’s lists for everything. Lists help. Lists are good.

When he finds out you’re having triplets (a boy and two girls), he doesn’t know how to react. You saw him smile though. It doesn’t sink in until you’re hugging him. “I’m never sleeping again,” he realizes with absolute terror.

Beelzebub is super excited. “That’s twins plus a bonus!”

Very snobby about the nursery decor. Also very tactile like Asmodeus. If it doesn’t feel good, it’s not going in the nursery.

Wants a barn-themed nursery (to include as many cow-related things as possible)

You get the comfiest PJs.

With three kids, he lives by embroidery. He has to have a way to tell them apart, after all (the girls, at least).

Can’t hoard the babies but wants to. Hates that he doesn’t have enough arms to hold them all at the same time.

Is very interested by their tendency to hold each other and nap together. Finds it super adorable.

Makes a super-sized crib he can climb in and sleep with them. It’s basically a Belphie-sized bed with little attachments his kids sleep in. Separates them all just enough so he doesn’t worry about hurting them, but there’s still contact

Thanks whatever god exists that they mostly stay on a schedule together. Makes it stressful for changing diapers, but very fun to feed them.

Almost dies laughing when Lucifer holds them for the first time because one vomited on him, the other sneezed in his face, and one pooped so much it got on his pants leg.

Lulls them to sleep with his happy purr, and gets woken up from a dead sleep by pure love when they make the sound back. Suddenly there’s three chirpy purrs rolling against him and he’s in love.

Proud they love their mama so much (to the point of being TOTAL mama’s kids), but also kind of relieved he can breathe.

The three trade off occasionally when they realize he’s free real estate and come to him for snuggles. They all love him so he doesn’t mind.

This house supports cuddle piles! Belphie got them hooked on group naps for a young age and they sleep together now. 

Hope you liked it :)

#Obey Me! #Obey me! x Reader #Lucifer x Reader #Mammon x Reader #Leviathan x Reader #levi x reader #Asmodeus x Reader #Asmo x Reader #Satan x Reader #beelzebub x reader #Beel x Reader #Belphegor x Reader #Belphie x Reader

[maxwell-grant]

One last one for the moment; top five superheroes who definitely AREN'T Pulp Heroes, but could be with a little tweaking?

Oof, that's a hard one. It's a hard one because, again, there ultimately isn't that much separation between the two to the point there's enough of a hard line in there to work with, but I guess the cat's out of the bag now that I've staked claims on there being differences between them.

Okay so, not counting superheroes who are deliberately modeled after actual pulp heroes, so no Tom Strong or Night Raven here. I'm sticking mainly with comic book superheroes (barring one oddball exception) since the medium separation is important), who I think could become pulp heroes with some tweaking.

5: Captain America

Sort of cheating because I already covered it here, but I definitely have to include Captain America in here, especially in the stories they actively go for a "pulp" vibe as well as the earliest ones.

Fun fact about Marvel: As Timely, they actually began life as pulp publishers. Not just pulp publishers, but specializing in some of the sleaziest, ghastliest magazines of the era, and you can bet this carried over to their superheroes. Where as DC's superheroes took inspiration from the big pulp heroes such as The Shadow and Doc Savage, Timely's superheroes seemed instead much more inspired by Weird Tales stories and Poverty Row horror films, and even in the 60s, Marvel never really abandoned their horror roots, the trick was just using them as a baseline to create superheroes. In DC, the world's first contact with superheroes begins with the world looking in wonder at a friendly strongman. In Marvel, it began with the world looking in panicked horror at a flaming monster rampaging through the streets desperately trying to not burn everything it touches. It should come to little surprise then that the majority of characters I'm including in this list are Marvel characters.

People think Captain America's first comics largely consisted of him fighting Nazis left and right, but they were actually much more often based around him encountering monsters and creatures of horror, like the above panel where it looks like Cap's staring down the beginning of Berserk's Eclipse (RIP Miura).

The early Captain America comics pretty much consisted of Kirby dipping his toe into the monster comics he'd make in the 50s which would later bleed into the 60s Marvel entourage. They even tried repackaging Captain America into a horror anthology in the 50s titled "Captain America's Weird Tales", just imagine how different the character would be today if that somehow stuck.

Imagine a world where Steve Rogers never became leader of The Avengers, never got to become the shining beacon of heroism of an entire universe, and instead, when he was unfrosted, he woke up to find a world running rampant with crawling nightmares and Nazi tyranny, and he has no idea what's become of his former sidekick. That definitely sounds like the start of a promising pulp adventure.

4: Namor

Another Timely creation. In Namor's case, he didn't so much encounter horrors from beyond imagination, as much as HE was the terrifying thing beyond us ready to rampage upon mankind, whose first on-screen act consists of the calculated slaughter of a ship full of innocents. The first true villain protagonist of comic books. Not just an anti-hero, a villain intent on wiping out the human race.

And not just a cardboard supervillain, but the beautiful prince of a race of ugly fish monsters, a momma's boy who's doing what he thinks is right by warring with surface dwellers. While Namor's become largely defined by his gargantuan arrogance, here, he's almost childlike, despite being much more brutal and villainous here, spurred on by the whims of his mother, who even acknowledges that Namor had no real reason to kill the divers but did so anyway, and now encourages him to genocide. His mom even tells him "Go now, to the land of white people!", and the very last panel of the story even states he's on a "crusade against white men".

The massacre of explorers at the hands of something beyond their understanding. A monster born of an interracial coupling. A race of fish monsters with bulging eyes, antagonistic towards humanity but are shown to have positive traits just the same. A dash of racism. There is no mistaking The Sub-Mariner's pulp horror influence.

A non-white superhuman warrior born from a Lovecraftian horror story, who gradually moves away from his villainous crusade into becoming more of an anti-hero, never truly putting aside his hatred for humanity, remaining a temperamental, unpredictable outcast, with a strong, palpable undercurrent of anger in his stories. I could very easily buy Namor as having crawled out of a Weird Tales story and I can't think of other superheroes whose origins are as steeped deeply in pulp horror.

3: Doctor Fate

Technically we already have a pulp hero version of Doctor Fate in Doc Fate, and I'll get to him separately, but even besides him, the earliest Doctor Fate stories in particular feel very much like he's a character steeped in the worlds of pulp and pulp horror who decided to put on a superhero costume and show up in comic.

He's got a similar set-up to The Shadow, from the pulp Shadow in the sense that he's a mysterious, eerie crimefighter who dwells as a presence more often than an active character and who kills criminals without remorse, always watching and waiting for the right time to strike as a a wrathful old-testament force of vengeance, and from the radio Shadow due to him using superpowers to fight crime while being accompanied by a smart, fierce love interest.

Originally, Fate was not a sorcerer, but instead a scientist who discovered a way to manipulate atomic structure, of his and other things, thus making it appear that he can do magic (although we never see his face, and he's implied to be thousands of years old, before they settled on the Nabu origin). And going back to Lovecraft, a lot of it appears in the earliest Fate stories. Fate was given powers not by a sorcerer, but an alien worshipped as a god. He barely encounters traditional monsters, but instead contends with hidden races, zombie slaves, abandoned alien monoliths, and half man and half fish creatures. Fate may have actually been the very first pastiche of Lovecraft in pop culture.

And of course we can't forget the gloriousness of Doc Fate pulling an Indiana Jones on us.

2: Wolverine

I don't even think you'd have to tweak Wolverine at all. You'd just have to get him out of the costume and Avengers/X-Men associations (although the X-Men have a substantial background in pulp sci-fi stories like Slan and Odd John, so they aren't really at odds here), maybe tone down his powers a bit and, that's it. Logan's already the kind of character who has such a varied sandbox history, whose powers can lead to so many different scenarios, that it's not a stretch at all to picture Wolverine in the usual pulp hero scenarios.

You can have half-naked Wolverine running around in the jungle with animals Tarzan-style, take him to Savage Land if you wanna throw dinosaurs in there. He's already Marvel's foremost "wandering samurai/cowboy" character which was one of the stock and trade types of the pulps. Western? Done. Samurai? Done. Wuxia? Just put him in China and add a couple extra fantasy elements. Wanna make a sword and sorcery story with him? He already comes with a bunch of knives and savagery and ability to survive grisly injuries. Horror? The MCU is crawling with them, or alternatively, tell a story from the perspective of someone who's being hunted down by Wolverine. Wanna tell a detective/noir/post-apocalypse story? Logan's right there.

Wanna have him crossover with pulp heroes? He's lived through the 1800s and 1900s and traveled all over the world, you could feasibly have him meet up with just about any of them. Logan may actually be the purest example of your question, because he's very much not a Pulp Hero, and yet, he definitely feels like a character who could have been one, at just about any point in the history of pulp magazines. He's perfect for it.

1: Wario

WAAA-okay, look, bear with me for a second here, I'm not just picking Wario because I love oddball choices and he's one of my favorite characters, I got some logic to this.

Okay so, the first question here: is Mario a superhero? While I'm usually adverse to calling characters prominent outside of comic books superheroes (hence why I'm definitely not interested in debating whether Harry Potter or Goku or Link or Frodo are superheroes), I do think it's a pretty shut case that, yes, Mario is a superhero. Superheroes don't just come in the form of skintight crimefighters, right from the start comic books have had varied types of superheroes appearing in comics and comic strips. For example, the "funny animal" superheroes are a type older than superhero comics, and they were arguably not only the most successful type of superhero of the 40s-50s era, but arguably defined trends dominating nonfunny animal superheroes, traits that predated or influenced Captain Marvel as well as Otto Binder's reshaping of Superman that defined much of superhero convention as we know it. It's part of why the question of "Is Sonic a superhero" has a very clear Yes as an answer.

So upon establishing that, yes, funny cartoon characters can be and are superheroes too, is Mario one? Well, I'd say yes. He's got an iconic uniform, he's got superpowers, he goes on fantastical adventures, he is both a nebulously general do-gooder as well as having a clear mission as protector of the Mushroom Kingdom. His adventures span multiple storytelling formats, he's got catchphrases, he even dresses up in Superman's colors and has a Super prefix iconically associated with him. Not a superhero the way we usually think of, but a superhero nonetheless.

And Wario? Well, putting aside Wario-Man who's more of a running gag than anything, Wario does just about everything Mario does. He's got all the traits that define Mario as a superhero short of a Super prefix and the selfless mission (which isn't exactly a rule). He goes around and gets into crazy adventures, he picks up items, beats bad guys, conquers the odds, and gets some kind of prize for it. He's got Mario's physical traits, and Mario's costume, and just about the same name short of a single letter. The caveat being, of course, that he's Wario, and so everything Mario is or does has to be exaggerated to gross extreme.

Mario is paunchy and strong, Wario's round and built like a powerlifter. Mario's got a friendly face and a fluffy mustache, Wario's got a massive horrible grin and jagged razors for a stache. Mario is a bit of an overeater, Wario can and will eat anything in front of him. Mario gets around with acrobatics and magic power-ups, Wario brute forces his way through everything and just rolls with whatever injuries he picks up along the way.

Mario gets fire powers by consuming magic flowers. Wario sets himself on fire and barrels around destroying everything in his path. Mario harnesses the elements or abilities of beings around him to clear obstacles and solve puzzles, Wario gets turned into a zombie, a vampire or a drunk to get the same things done. Mario befriends and rides dinosaurs who raised him from infancy, Wario piledrives dinosaurs and then uses their bodies to beat up more dinosaurs. Mario pals around with fellow heroes, princesses and friendly fantasy creatures, Wario pals around with aliens, witches, mad scientists, cab drivers, and lanky weirdos. Mario always ends his adventures joyfully leaping to the next one, Wario usually ends up either cackling in a pile of treasure or completely broke.

Mario races through plains to rescue princesses, Wario invades pyramids to hunt for treasure. Mario jumps through planets with baby stars guiding his path, Wario crashes into the Amazon jungle and fistfights the devil. You can see where I'm going with this.

If you were to take one of Nintendo's heroes to make them into pulp heroes, Wario, specifically the Wario Land Wario, may be the only one who really could do it, because in essence, he's the videogame equivalent of Professor Challenger. He's Bluto moonlighting as Indiana Jones, the weird brute adventurer for weird brute adventures where everything's off limits and you can trust our intrepid hero, who really shouldn't be a hero on all accounts, to deliver us a good time, give or take a couple deaths, scams, shams and oh-damns to complete said mad treasure hunts.

#replies tag #not pulp heroes #comic books #dr fate #wolverine #captain america #namor #wario

[spookyhalloweennights]

Birds of a Feather (Syro: SFW)

Your first day on the job was nothing less than breathtaking. Having just graduated and finding a position in the rehabilitation field, you were over the moon when you had started. Although the manager couldn’t be more than displeased at the fact that a human was working in their facility, and a human female nonetheless so straight away they had assigned you to the most difficult patient in the facility. 

The patient? A male harpy whose plumage reminded you of a raptor. His talons had clacked against the floor, the noise only stopping once every few moments as he had paused and stared out the window wistfully. A sigh that sounded more like a whistle had come from him, however as you had begun to move closer his gaze snapped to yours. Piercing yellow eyes met yours in an intense stare before he let out a screech of hatred. 

“A human! They dare insult me like this?” He screamed and you had backed away hastily, tripping over the tray you had been rolling with you and falling. Landing hard on your back with the wind knocked out of you. The only saving grace you had was an elf who had heard the commotion and came rushing over to help you clean up the mess and make sure you were okay.  The petite elf had turned her attention to the harpy who was making such a fuss with his feathers all ruffled up. 

“Syro! It is rather impolite of you to behave so badly, she is just as good of a nurse as any one of us here. Otherwise she wouldn’t be here.” The elf, who you’d later come to know as Gweyir, scolded. The harpy had shrunk back as the lecture continued for another minute or so before she was finally done. 

With a grumble, the harpy had reluctantly allowed you into his room to do your job. You had taken notice of the scrapes and bruises that he had once you had gotten closer to him. Feathers were missing and the biggest thing that you had missed before was that his right wing was broken. He didn’t talk to you, at least not at first. He’d merely stand stock still while you tended to the wounds and left him food, which continued for nearly a year after you had started. 

It wasn’t that Syro wasn’t ready to go after he had fully healed, he had nowhere to go so he dragged it out for as long as possible. He attended multiple sessions with various therapists to talk about what had happened to him, you never knew the details of his case until Gweyir had told you as the pair of you were making your usual rounds. 

“He was exiled from his flock, a bad hunter and they didn’t want him dragging them down so… The only logical punishment they could think of was bodily harm and forcing him to leave. Without a flock, most harpies don’t make it on their own.” She explained, the manager had given you both a quick nod as you brushed past. In the past few months they had come to warm up to the idea of having a human female around, plus you were the most dedicated worker alongside Gweyir that they had. 

“That’s… Rough.” Was all you could think of to say as you processed the information. Gweyir nodded in agreement. 

However, the ruffling of feathers had caught your attention and you glanced to your left. Seeing Syro all puffed up and a low squawk of sorts came from him at the mention of what had happened. You awkwardly waved Gweyir goodbye as she wished you luck. Putting on your best smile, you walked inside as Syro merely eyed you and turned away with a huff. 

“Bad day?” You asked the harpy, he would occasionally humor you with short answers in response to your questions. 

“That elf has no idea what happened.” He grumbled in response. “It wasn’t exactly like that. It was… Way different than what they had thought it was.” 

You set to work, he was a lot more compliant in letting you do your job than he was when you had first met him. You kept the surprise that rose up in you at the idea of him telling you what had happened under check as you didn’t want to discourage him from talking. 

“My flock was… Ruthless. Took whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. There wasn’t anything they wouldn’t slaughter if it got in their way. And considering that our species isn’t… Too common, it wasn’t a surprise when my flock had climbed its way to the top of being the most feared.” He began to pace back and forth again, the talons clicking against the floor in an ominous manner. “I was not like them. I couldn’t take or kill just for the thrill of it. And when it came time for the ‘coming of age’ ceremony… I failed, and that resulted in me being harmed the way I was. And then those humans... It was worse before you had come here. I was exiled. I’m not allowed to go to any other flock or that puts them in danger. I’m… Stuck in a way.” His voice had grown softer as a forlorn look overcame his features. 

You had listened intently to him, the story tugging at your heart in a way that was unexpected. “Syro…” Your mouth had run dry and you found yourself unable to say anything to him. 

“You needn’t say anything to me. I realize now that not all humans are bad. You being amongst the few who are genuinely good.” He complimented, though he pointedly kept his gaze away from you as you stared up at him. 

You weren’t quite sure what to say in response to the compliment, mumbling out a quick thanks and hurrying out of the room once you had finished your duties. You walked back into the nurse’s station and sank into a chair, your face the color of a cherry. Gweyir had come in not too long after you and had mistaken the blush on your face for you crying and anger seemed to run through the elf. 

“Was he mean to you? Did he hurt you? I swear I’ll pluck him like a chicken if…” You interrupted her before she could continue on any further. 

“Nothing like that Gweyir. He complimented me.” The shock on her face mimicked your own. “I know, he told me that I was one of the few good humans, and… He opened up more about his past.” You finished, Gweyir slumping in the seat next to you. 

“Geez, I didn’t expect that.” She murmured before glancing at you. “He only has two weeks left here before they force him to leave. I overheard the manager talking to one of the higher ups.” 

“Oh.” Was all that came as the news came as a second surprise to you today. “I have to go, I have to at least warn him.” You said as you slid the half eaten bag of chips over to Gweyir before getting up and heading out the break room doors. 

Syro had taken the news exactly as you had expected him to, with a lot of anger and feather ruffling as he paced the room. Stretching his wings in annoyance before his gaze settled on you again, any amount of trust he had put into you earlier was gone with this new information. 

“Get out.” He hissed at you, and you merely blinked in response. The statement took a moment to fully process but by that time, he was in your face. 

“Get out!” He screeched, stretching out his wings and looking more intimidating than you had ever seen him. You scrambled out of the room and narrowly avoided the metal tray being thrown at your head by said harpy. 

It was after that incident that your manager had decided to transfer you to another patient. They had declared that you had finished your duties with Syro, but you knew that wasn’t the case. Nevertheless you didn’t have the energy to argue with your manager, and while your new patient was lovely and a breath of fresh air. You missed Syro. The mermaid you had been assigned to was oftentimes a bit too chatty for your taste. 

You had only briefly seen the harpy once or twice after the incident, each time you had turned before his gaze could find yours. The new nurse that was taking care of him seemed to be doing better than what you had been anyway. A bitter taste seemed to rise in the back of your throat when you had caught the pair enjoying a conversation together, a smile was present on his features. 

What did it matter anyway? You were no longer assigned to him. You should just go back to your job, at least that’s what you told yourself until you found yourself cornered by the large harpy. His hands placed on either side of your head as he stared down at you with a frown on his features. 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He stated, and you couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from you. It confused Syro more than anything in the world, just enough that you could slip away. 

“I’ve been assigned to another patient Syro. It’s my job… Besides, they figured your new nurse would suit your needs better anyway.” You stated calmly as you made your way down the hallway, the clicking of his talons on the tiled floor gave way to him following you. 

“I preferred you as my nurse. And I had tried to tell that manager otherwise but they weren’t hearing it.” He huffed in annoyance. You paused, the familiar feeling of shock spreading through you before you merely shook your head. 

“You smile a lot more around that nurse, and you’ve become well enough to come out of your room now and join the others in the mess hall rather than taking your meals in your room. I’d say she’s doing her job right.” You hummed thoughtfully, heading to the small cubicle where the cabinets were. You placed the tray and other equipment back in their right places. 

“I miss you.” He said simply. “And I wanted to apologize for how I reacted, it was wrong of me to take it out on you like I did. I know I can’t go back but… I want you to know that much.” Syro shifted as though he was uncomfortable admitting he was wrong. “The other nurse helped me realize that.” 

“It’s alright Syro, I know stuff like that can be shocking. The important thing is that you realized it.” You responded, turning to face the massive creature in front of you. 

A relieved smile spread across his face at the apology acceptance. He sighed softly before glancing around to see if any others were near you. “Can I visit you? Once I’m out of here I mean…” 

“Of course you can!” You responded eagerly. “You can come by here or I’ll show you where my house is if you wait once you’re out of here.” 

He merely nodded in acknowledgement before the pair of you heard the other nurse calling his name, a grimace came across his features before he looked down at you one more time. It seemed as though he was debating something in his mind before he finally leaned down and nuzzled against you with a quiet chirp of appreciation. The action left you stunned, but before you could say anything else to him, he had turned and walked down the hallway. 

In the following week, you had made an effort to stop by Syro’s room more than usual, each time you were greeted with him nuzzling against you before he listened to you chat about your day. Only occasionally chiming in with a thought, other times you’d listen to him talk about what his life was like before he had come here. It was dark, more so than what anyone had actually expected of the creature. When the day came that he had to leave, he had asked to leave at the same time you had got off your shift. 

“Are you ready?” You asked Syro as you adjusted the strap on your bag that you took to work with you every day. The harpy hummed in thought before merely nodding in response to the question. 

“Let’s get this over with.” His voice was rough, to others it may have sounded like he was excited to be leaving but you knew underneath that he was terrified. 

The walk to your home was silent, save for the occasional comment that you made to keep his nerves down. It wasn’t until you had arrived at your front door steps that you could see the genuine fear in Syro’s eyes. He really did have nowhere to go, and in the moment you had made a rash decision. 

“Why don’t you stay here with me for a while? At least until you get on your feet.” You offered, and it seemed as though the idea shocked Syro. It took him a moment to respond to the proposal. 

“I won’t get in your way. I appreciate you doing this for me.” He said as he walked up the steps right as you opened the door, you stepped aside to let him in first. 

“I’ll have to get the guest room set up properly for you but otherwise you can help yourself to anything in here.” You said.

“Thank you.” Came the response as he looked around your house. “Your home is lovely.” 

Two years had passed since that day, and you really couldn’t imagine your life any other way. Your relationship with Syro had developed into something more as time had progressed and you showed him the basics to surviving on his own. Except he never left, and you never had a complaint about it. In fact you had begun to look forward to going home after a long day at the rehabilitation center, knowing that your harpy would no doubt have prepared something for you to eat or a relaxing bath. 

After a particularly stressful day with a new patient, you had dragged yourself up the front steps and into your home. The clicking of Syro’s talons on the floorboards brought a smile to your face, you kicked your shoes off and plopped down on the couch. Golden eyes came into sight as Syro had kneeled down in front of you with a faint smile. 

“Rough day?” He asked and you merely nodded in response to the question, sighing as he chuckled in response.

“The new patient is a lot worse than anything I’ve ever dealt with. I don’t know if I can handle this one, they’re just… unreceptive to everything we’ve tried so far.” You vented while Syro had listened to you intently. 

“Give them time, they’ll come around. I know that you can do it, you dealt with me.” He responded with a faint smile. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Get some rest, I’ll take care of dinner.” 

When you had come home a few weeks later with a grin on your face, Syro knew that you had gotten the patient to finally open up and he couldn’t be more proud of you than what he was in that moment.

#exophilia #monster lover #monster #monster x reader #male harpy #female reader #male harpy x reader #harpy x reader #Spooky'sWriting #sfw #spookyhalloweennights

[random-thought-depository]

It occurs to me that one relatively sympathetic aspect of these people might be that, their founding population having been abducted as small children and raised by an inhuman monster, they might lack a lot of the stupid prejudices that regular humans in a low-tech setting are likely to have if real history is any guide.

Think about what’s going to happen with that first generation. It sounds to me like the dragon abducts them when they’re very young, the better to brainwash them. The dragon is probably both ignorant of and uninterested in a lot of human culture, it just wants to raise up some dragon-worshipping brainwashed thralls. Which is probably going to be bad in a lot of ways, but it also means the transmission chains of a lot of stupid prejudices get broken. There’s no-one around to tell those kids that darker-skinned people are inferior. There’s no-one around to stigmatize left-handedness and force the left-handed ones to hide being left-handed. There’s no-one around to socialize them into complicated and rigid gender roles and tell them men should be in charge. There’s no-one around to tell them they shouldn’t share a washing bowl with a Cagot. There’s no-one around to tell them some people are Untouchables and karmically deserving of low status and suffering and you should take a ritual bath if one of them touches you. The dragon probably doesn’t even know about half that stuff and doesn’t care about most of the other half. The dragon might actually actively discourage a lot of prejudices like this if they do show up, because they’d interfere with its human stock being efficient thralls (“You’re telling me you want to reduce the military effectiveness and productivity of my dragon cult because you don’t want to share tools with people who have a particular surname? Yeah, no, we’re not doing that; any tool that is not personal property belongs to me and will be used by any of my thralls who is doing work that requires it”).

What happens when these kids reach puberty? The dragon probably wants its dragon cult making babies, so it’s probably going to tell them how baby-making works and make it clear it expects them to make some new thralls for it sooner or later, but as long as the thralls are making approximately the right number of babies and aren’t killing each other it probably won’t care much about the details. So... These people are going to start experiencing attraction to each other and sometimes falling in love with each other, and... Some of them are going to fall in love with people of the same sex, and there’s no-one around to tell them homosexuality is wrong. Some of them are going to fall in love with more than one person, and there’s no-one around to tell them they aren’t allowed to have multiple partners, and there’s no-one around to tell them that people who already have a partner are “taken” and off-limits, and there’s no-one around to tell them that if you’re a man another man having sex with your female partner is a huge deadly insult to your honor. The original write-up talks about dragons selectively breeding their human thralls, so there might be significant reproductive control and coercion happening, but it’s probably pretty orthogonal to the sort that happens in patriarchal societies.

This is simplifying in ways that might paint an over-optimistic picture. Even small children may have picked up some prejudices from the societies they spent their first years in. And some of that stuff might get reinvented. Children often detect and react with hostility to difference even without much or any prompting from adults, and I suspect some prejudices of this sort are ultimately rooted in that sort of reflexive xenophobia. And I think at least a rough “men do more of the fighting and heavy labor, women do more of the child-care and less strength-intensive work” division of labor is probably going to emerge, because it’s a natural and logical reaction to physical sex differences in a low-tech context. Though on that note, I can think of a few factors that might work to keep dragon cults more gender-equal than regular human societies:

Dragons likely won’t want their cults getting too numerous. A numerous cult would be harder to control and more likely to develop power centers independent of the dragon. Dragon cults would also be more secure against external threats than other human groups of their size, because they’ve got a giant fire-breathing monster on their side, so they wouldn’t have as much pressure to make sure they’ve got lots of fighters to defend their land (though the dragon would likely be a “tall poppy,” it’s likely that lots of people will want to kill it to stop its depredations and plunder its hoard and have the glory of defeating it, so that’ll partly cancel that out). Put this together, dragon cults might be at least a little less pro-natalist than their regular human neighbors. I mean, they’ll probably still have big families by modern standards because of how many people die young in low-tech societies, they’ll probably still need to have 3-5 children per couple just for replacement rate, but this might make at least a little difference. And high birth rates, large families, and pro-natalism are an important load-bearing pillar of strong gender roles; it’s not an accident that we started treating women a lot better after we invented or popularized vaccination, antibiotics, indoor plumbing, and birth control pills (the first three things made high birth rates unnecessary and even undesirable, the last thing made low birth rates easier to maintain). Compared to other human women, dragon cult women might have more time and energy to devote to things that aren’t making and raising babies.

I think dragon cults are also likely to be socially hierarchical but economically communalistic, with little private property and relatively high social mobility. From the original write-up it sounds like dragons want totalitarian control over their cults, so they won’t want their cults to have power centers independent of the dragon. Dynastic families and sizeable accumulations of private property are power centers independent of the dragon, so the dragon will discourage their formation. In low-tech male privilege societies powerful families and stable inherited property are major bulwarks of patriarchy; they make it important who your father is, and they make it important to avoid family instability that may result in division of the property or otherwise endanger the family’s claim to the property. If patrilineal descent chains don’t matter much, women are likely to have more sexual freedom and by knock-on effects of that more freedom in general and are under less pressure to marry early and produce lots of potential heirs for their husbands.

Finally, the write-up mentioned dragons selectively breeding their human thralls for size and strength, and maybe implied also selectively breeding them for precocious physical maturity. If they’re doing that, dragons might also selectively breed their thralls for reduced sexual dimorphism. From the dragon’s point of view, why wouldn’t you want to double your pool of potential strong fighters? So after two or twenty centuries of selective breeding dragon cult women might have size and upper body strength a lot closer to males. Dragon cults would probably still have some kind of “men do more of the fighting and women do more of the work compatible with having a baby or child in close proximity” gendered division of labor, but reducing sexual dimorphism would tend to weaken gendered divisions of labor and hence gender roles in general.

I mean, we’re talking about a creepy high-control cult here. And “nobody was there to tell them...” would definitely have potential dark sides, like “nobody was there to tell them rape and incest are wrong” and “nobody was there to tell them that an adult shouldn’t casually slap around or beat up a child when they’re angry at them.” They’d probably develop some taboos on that sort of stuff just to keep their society somewhat functional, and the dragon would probably give them rules against the aspects of that sort of behavior that might lower their efficiency as thralls or endanger the viability of the dragon cult, but “basically functional levels of rape, incest, and casual physical abuse of children” might look pretty horrifying (though given what a lot of actual historical societies looked like I’m not sure they’d really be worse on the rape and casually beating up their children fronts than their non-dragon cult neighbors). So this isn’t going to be any kind of utopia. If dragon cultists showed up in a story they’d probably be bad guys. But, like:

“And because they serve dragons, they sometimes get the good stuff. Picture a 15- year-old kid with the physique of Conan, wearing the golden armor of ancient kings and armed with magic spears. The kid is also illiterate, covered in fleas, and thinks that humans were created by dragons.”

I suggest that this kid might be a girl, who has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, in a world where a female person being a warrior and interacting on a footing of easy familiarity and equality with rough violent men and having multiple partners is very much not a regular thing in most human societies. And while from one point of view this person is a brainwashed slave of a giant fire-breathing mammal-like reptile, she can look forward to having a lot more personal freedom than most non-dragon cult women (e.g. the 15 year old farmer’s daughter whose father and older brother she just eviscerated). Would fit into: “And its not hard fascism either.  Their barbarian tribes don't chafe at the collar.  They've believe in their dragon.  And when you stand in front of a dragon, you can see why.” If that girl has some idea of how much less freedom and power she’d probably have if she’d been born into one of the surrounding more normal human societies, that knowledge surely cements her loyalty to her dragon. It’d make the whole thing more insidious in a way.

-----

Aside: the one thing that kind of bugged me about the Goblin Punch post is where it says dragon cultists “never build cities or roofs.” So what do they do when it rains, or is freezing cold, or burning hot? I’m interpreting this as they live in tent-like structures and don’t build permanent houses with thick walls, cause otherwise that bit is just grimderp.

#Goblin Punch #writing ideas #fantasy #dragons #cw: cults #cw: spiritual abuse #cw: child abuse #cw: rape #cw: violence #cw: kind of implication of a 15 year old having a sex life

[krowfics]

A Spider’s Shadow Chapter 7

Fandom: Warrior cats/Sander Sides

Ships: Prinxiety, Logicality, Dukeceit, (eventual) Remile, otherwise platonic LAMP, familial Creativitwins+Thomas

Plot: Spiderpaw is the sole witness to a murder, due to this, he is no longer safe in Shadowclan. He soon finds himself amongst a group of secret rebels who disagree with the Warrior Code.

Words this chapter: 2217

Notes: Warriors typical violence/hunting, unsympathetic/morally gray Janus and Remus, faked suicide mention, Remus is Remus but it’s not that bad

Chapter 1  Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

~~~

Spiderpaw wouldn’t say he was panicking yet. But a sinking feeling started in his belly as he realized it was the second morning he woke up in Thunderclan, and Snakeface had made no attempts to gather his lives.

Which could be a good thing. Somebody could’ve gotten suspicious and figured out what Snakeface had done, but then the clan would be in new chaos of trying to find a leader. Still a sudden and untrained new leader is better than a traitorous one. That is if they agreed on one before the clan dissipated into nothingness. But it also meant that his time in Thunderclan was running out. The only cats in Shadowclan who seemed to like him were either dead or traitorous, he didn’t know if he could go back to that.

He flicked his ear at the feeling of... something. He blinked and turned to see Ratpaw giving him a drawl look.

"If you're gonna not work at least don't do something boring like stare at a rock." He hooked up a leaf with his claw and draped it over Spiderpaws head. He flicked his ear again and when that didn't work he gave a whole shake of his head to dislodge it.

"Sorry" he sighed.

Ratpaw shrugged, "I don't really care."

Spiderpaw returned to his task, which was just laying out a pile of leaves so that they'd dry faster. Frostpool decided that with the extra set of paws around, today would be the day to completely refill their stock of herbs, drying out the old in the process. He quickly found himself growing bored doing such repetitive motions over and over again. 

He heard a breath being huffed out behind him and turned, he blinked over at Ratpaw who seemed to be doing much of the same thing, laying out another herb with an experienced claw.

"Is something wrong?" Spiderpaw mewed.

Ratpaw shifted, "No, 'm just bored." He mumbled.

"Can you hear my thoughts?" Spiderpaw joked, returning to his task.

Ratpaw chuckled, "Not much of a medicine cat, are you?" 

Spiderpaw turned over his reply in his head for a moment, "Most of Shadowclan wanted me to be. But that probably has more to do with my size than my ability." He shrugged.

"Would you've?"

Spiderpaw blinked, "Would I what?"

"If all your clan and Starclan wanted you to be a medicine cat, would you have?" 

Spiderpaw swallowed, "Probably." He spoke, but that doesn't mean he would've liked it.

As irritating as Ratpaw was, he made himself incredibly easy to sympathize with. 

There were a silent few moments, only filled with the shuffling of leaves and yet the air felt thick and heavy around them, "Um, what'd you do to get yourself bound to camp?" Spiderpaw was curious, but he needed to keep the conversation going more than anything else.

Ratpaw laughed, which wasn’t an answer, but Spuiderpaw didn’t press.

"Twolegs have this hard prey stuff they put out for kittypets and loners, no hunting required." he said eventually and needless to say, that made Spiderpaw deeply uncomfortable, though he wasn’t exactly shocked given Ratpaw’s character.

What if the twolegs put something in it? What if kittypets just ate bad prey? Fresh kill wasn't supposed to be hard unless you bit right into a bone. What if they’re all sick and they don’t even know that their food is as good as crowfood because they’ve never had anything else?

“Oh.” Was all Spiderpaw said, “Was it uh, worth it?”

“Why? You interested?”

“What- No.” Spiderpaw said quickly, ear pressed back out of instinct, he glanced to the entrance of the den just in case and found no one. How in Starclan’s name was he supposed to explain discussing trying kittypet things when he himself was barely allowed in the clan.

Ratpaw snorted, laying another leaf flat. He hummed softly, thinking of something, “Yeah,” he said finally, “Yeah, it was worth it.” 

Spiderpaw flexed his claws in and out for a moment. He supposed he was lucky. Starclan could have easily picked him to be Shadowclan’s medicine cat and then he’d be in the same place Ratpaw was. He didn’t think he’d ever sneak off clan territory, but it was easy to say you’d never do something when you’ve never had to be in that situation “I.. am sorry.” He said, “If it means anything, I don’t think you should have to be a medicine cat. Whether Starclan says so or not.”

By the time they were done, Spiderpaw felt himself prickling with anxiety. If Snakeface were to show, he would come closer to sunset as to be by Moonpool while the moon is high. Seeing as it wasn't too far past sunhigh, the only thing Spiderpaw could do was wait.

“Do my eyes deceive me or have you finally been released from your stuffy duties?” Lionbright asked, trotting up to Spiderpaw as the apprentice made his way away from the, admittedly very stuffy, medicine den.

Spiderpaw huffed lightly, “Temporarily, Ratpaw says I’ll probably be called back once Frostpool returns.”

Lionbright hummed, moving to rub his cheek against Spiderpaw’,. "It's going to be fine."

Spiderpaw blinked, letting out a weak laugh, "Is me freaking out that obvious?"

Lionbright continued to nuzzle him and Spiderpaw was not thinking about how nice it was thank you very much. "A bit." he said, "I think he’d let you stay regardless of what happens. Redstar might look intimidating if you don't know him but he's soft for 'paws. He let me get away with quite a bit."

"You're also his son." Spiderpaw pointed out.

"And you are his son's friend." he replied. Spiderpaw couldn't help the quiet purr he let out at that no matter how much he fought against it.

He was in the medicine den again when a ruckus of murmurs sounded from outside. Spiderpaw left the herbs he had just finished sorting and went to see what was going on only for Ratpaw to block his way.

"Wha-" 

"Shush." Ratpaw hissed, shoving Spiderpaw back deeper in the den, he nodded to a series of cracks in part of the rock, some cracks wide enough that it had been likely manually covered with bracken on the outside.

The warrior apprentice opened his mouth but shut it again when he saw a glimpse of movement. He stepped closer and looked through the bits of plant to see a cream tom. He took a sharp breath but willed himself to stay quiet as he strained his ears to listen.

"-hope there isn't a troubling reason for your visit." Redstar said, just out of Spiderpaws view. 

"I'm afraid so." Snakeface said, "Nightstar has passed, I... I came to ask permission to pass through your territory to get to Moonpool." he actually sounded upset, it made Spiderpaw's claws slip out.

"She was a great warrior." Redstar sighed, "May I ask…" his mew quieted. Spiderpaw turned so his ear could press against the bracken.

"She was found near a fox den but-" a new voice, Acorntail, shadowclan's medicine cat spoke, "It seemed. Well, I suppose-" her voice hitched, "I believe she ate death berries before the foxes even…" she trailed off, but Spiderpaw got enough of a picture of the scene Snakeface created.

Spiderpaw wanted to scream, and also wrap his teeth around Snakeface’s throat, but only very distantly. On top of everything he almost felt calm. He hadn't expected that exactly from Snakeface but he couldn't really find it in himself to be surprised. He stepped away as Redstar said his condolences. He glanced back at Ratpaw only to see him standing just on the outside of the den, likely watching the interaction as well. 

He stepped back inside, startling a bit when he saw that Spiderpaw was staring at him. "I um," Spiderpaw started, "Thank you."

Ratpaw shrugged half heartedly, "I mean, I was guessing you didn't want him to see you." he mewed, following Spiderpaw as they both made their way out of the den, "I do have a favor to ask, while everyone's distracted-" he gained an almost startlingly excited look in his eyes, "Don't tell anyone where I went."

He darted the moment he was out of the den and slinked behind the other structures, hugging the wall of the canyon to travel in mostly secret, especially as it grew darker and made it harder for watching eyes to see the difference between the rocks and the cat's gray pelt.

Spiderpaw stepped away and resolved to find Lionbright. He didn't have to go far because the young warrior was hissing quietly to his father. He stopped when Spiderpaw caught his eye and picked up his pace to touch noses with the once Shadowclan cat.

Redstar came up behind him, glancing around to make sure no one was too close, "I will officially announce it tomorrow, but you are welcome to stay and continue your training in Thunderclan."

Spiderpaw nodded, "Thank you."

Redstar pressed his nose to the top of Spiderpaw's head and stepped away with a final nod. He trotted up to his den, being tailed by his deputy, and leaving Lionbright alone with him.

Lionbright blinked slowly looking right at Spiderpaw, "Welcome to Thunderclan" he mewed quietly.

Spiderpaw was going to say something back until he saw a she cat searching around with purpose behind the other. Lionbright looked over his shoulder to her as she approached.

"Have you seen Ratpaw?" Frostpool spoke.

"...No." Spiderpaw said after a moment that he hoped came across as confusion, "I was- I was a bit distracted."

Her eyes softened, "Of course." she gave him a sad smile, "Just tell me if either of you see him" 

Both of the tom's nodded as she turned to continue her search. Lionbright rolled his eyes and huffed, Spideraw stayed quiet despite the twisting feeling of guilt in his gut.

~~~

Ratpaw was buzzing with energy as he picked his way through the woods. Leaving out the dirt place tunnel wasn't ideal considering that's where every cat and their queen snuck out but with the entire clan's attention drawn towards the front of the camp, even after the pair had left, nobody saw him leave out the back.

He didn't dare get too close to Moonpool, but he did near Windclan's border. He tried to follow the Shadowclan cats’ track but only vaguely, knowing that they could smell him on their way back. 

He waited for a while, so bored under a bush that he was about ready to start plucking his own whiskers out, but eventually he heard the rustling of movement. 

He stayed still for the noise to pass and then some before poking his head out, he saw the pair in the distance, the medicine cat nearly blended in completely with forest around her and the cream tom was only slightly more visible.

He followed, containing the rippling feeling of something filling him with energy. It was like he was on the hunt for the most important piece of fresh kill in his life.

The cats ahead were silent, likely because a leader was not supposed to tell anyone of the event in which they got their lives. He'd already broken at least one fairly important rule in the warrior’s code so Ratpaw couldn't really figure out why he wouldn't want to break another. Of course, that'd make Acorntail suspicious, so perhaps the new leader was just smart.

The Shadowclan cats were going to pass right through Skyclan territory and Ratpaw thought it'd probably be best to avoid getting his scent everywhere an uninvolved clan could smell so he took a sharp turn and started up the high ground that marked the end of clan territory.

He didn't even try to be sneaky there, having walked past this area countless times while meeting up with various loners and kittypets. He could hear the rumbling of monsters running on their thunderpaths in the distance. He didn't mind the noise so much anymore but even he couldn't fathom actually living so close to those things.

He trotted quickly, climbing when necessary, and eventually made it back to clan territory. Shadowclan territory this time. He probably would have missed the leader completely if he hadn't rushed, yet he had, so it only for a moment to spot them again. 

He backed up behind one of the pine trees and away from view for a few heartbeats. It was significantly harder to hide in a place with trees so spread out but the ground was softer here, quieting his paws as he stalked forward.

He ended up rustling some of the pine needles regardless and watched as one of the scarred tom's ear's swiveled back to listen. Ratpaw paused and held his breath.

there was murmuring and then silence. The quiet of the night felt like a thick pressure as the apprentice tried desperately to stay silent until the suspicion dissipated.

And then the cream tom stepped out from behind a tree and locked eyes with the intruder. "Ratpaw." he breathed.

"Snake-" he cut himself off, not sure what to say.

"Star." he confirmed, "It's Snakestar now."

And Ratpaw really couldn't help pouncing on Snakestar anymore than he could help the rumbling purr he let out as he did so. 

~~~

*successfully hyperfixates on my fic for once*

Chap 8

Tags~ @perfectly-princely-emo-nightmare

#sander sides #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #c!thomas #warrior cats au #morally gray remus #janus sanders #morally gray janus #prinxiety #dukeceit #thekrowiswriting #suicide mention

[jadedxrealityw]

-Mind Stone- Peter Parker x Female Reader Part 1

    ☼-☪-☼

   Kody: Awkward Peter Parker for the win. By the way both Peter and you will be 17 in this fic. K, thanks. Also reminder that Engame is set in 2023

   Movie/Show: After Endgame, but no one died because ignorance is bliss. 

   Summary: In the attack of 2012, you were given powers that you couldn’t understand at such a young age. 

   Possible Triggers / Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of blood and harm, Loki having a Thanos moment, Vision and Wanda being your new parents- but not really, slight OP reader- but only because i am dumb

    ☼-☪-☼

   highschool sucked, well that’s a given but what sucked even more was going to highschool in New York where the Avengers usually fought their battles. In 2012 when the first major attack happened. When Loki, the god of mischief used the tesseract to bring the Chitauri to Earth.

    you remember it vividly for a 6 year old child. Your mother and you had decided to go school shopping since you’d be starting kindergarten. You would have gone when you turned five, but you had a late birthday. After shopping for nearly an hour your mother decided to get you a donut from a local bakery.

   you had both walked in and your mother sat you at a booth with your bag of supplies. She walked to the counter and began to order what she wanted along with your favorite kind of donut. The shop had a glass wall in the front so you could see outside, you thought it looked pretty cool.

   at one point you looked up from the piece of paper you had been drawing on and towards your mother. She had just turned around holding a paper bag and a cup of coffee. She gave you a warm smile as she walked towards you. She looked at the window behind you and her face suddenly turned pale.

   she dropped the cup and bag onto the ground. You watched as coffee spilled all over the tile floor, but had no time to say something as your mother ran over to you and grabbed you from the seat. She held you close to her chest and ran out the store, not bothering to grab the items she left. 

   you were so confused on what was happening until you saw a tall unhuman like creature with grey skin and gold headpieces. The Chitauri. Your mother ran down the sidewalk as large ships flew through the sky. Buildings were being shot through and debris was falling from above.

   being just a little girl made the whole ordeal much worse. Your mother ended up running into an alleyway. She went behind a dumpster and crouched down, placing you on the ground. “Alright- it’s going to be alright” she grabbed your face and planted a kiss on your forehead. 

   the dumpster that you both were behind flew into the air and you were face to face with a Chitauri. It raised it’s gun and shot at your mother. It hit her in the middle of the back, causing her to fall to the ground. You watched as your mom fell to the ground and blood began to pour from her back.

   she slowly lifted her head and reached to touch your face “You have to run Y/n! Go!” she yelled as the Chitauri drew closer. You turned to look behind you. Run. That’s what she wanted you to do, but you didn’t want to leave your mom. She was hurt and was the only family you had. 

   ever watch those youtube videos of children trying to be protective and everyone finding it cute? Yeah those. Well this would have been cuter if you weren’t facing an alien that could shoot you in the face with it’s out of world technology. 

   your tiny 6 year old hands lifted up a piece of plywood from the ground and began to swing it around yelling at them to “Get away from my mom!” thinking back on it, you thought the Chitauri was more confused than threatened. It still walked towards you, raising it’s weapon. 

   that’s when something- someone dropped in the middle of both you and the Chitauri. It was a man with shoulder length black hair that was slicked back. He was wearing strange clothing that was dark green and black with some gold lining. 

   he turned to the Chitauri and waved his hand “Run along creature” he said in a formal tone. You kept the plywood in your hands as you didn’t know if this strange man was a threat or not. The Chitauri nods to him once before turning away and running out the alley, probably to terrorize other people. 

   the man turned on his heels and faced you. You had now noticed the golden scepter in his hands. It was curved at the top which was silver with a sharp edge and bottom and hand a bright blue stone in the middle, encased within the gold. He stalked towards you with an overly sweet grin.

   (cue Thanos moment) 

   “You’re just adorable aren’t you?” he spoke, mostly to himself rather than you. He crouched down to meet your gaze, his eyes an icy blue color. “Were you just about to challenge that Chitauri?” he asked, a slightly amused tone lacing within his words. You nod once, being the shy kid you were and stranger danger. duh

   he nods along with you before looking behind you to see your mother unconscious and on the floor. He doesn’t say anything involving her and looks back towards you “How old are you?” he questions. Your hesitant at first, but tell him “6...and a half” one of his eyebrows go up slightly in shock. 

   “Children who are willing to stand up to a creature much bigger than them are what we call little warriors. It’s honorable. If only you weren’t a mortal, so feeble and fragile” he spoke so formaly that your child mind was finding it hard to keep up with him. 

   his icy blue eyes slowly moved away from you at at his scepter “Hm” he hums before holding his staff up to you. You take a small step back, reasonably scared of the silver blade it had. How else did he think a kid would react. You weren’t quite sure why you hadn’t run away by now honestly.

   “Do not show fear. That is what will get you killed. Now little warrior. If you wish to protect the ones you care most for. Place your hand on the stone” he spoke, pointing towards the blue gem on his scepter. In other circumstances you would have ran away, but your eager child mild thought about your mother. 

   so you touched it

   you felt a swirling and painful feeling shooting through every inch of your body, causing you to left out a harsh scream. Your vision was covered in a blue like storm. Like a tornado that formed around you. You could no longer see the mystery man and could no longer feel your feet on the ground. 

   but just as fast as the feeling came it left and began to see black spots cloud every inch of your vision. You felt yourself drift out of consciousness and you black out. The man- Loki watched as you fell to the ground. He reached down and felt for a pulse. Still alive. 

   he got up and walked over to your mother, waving his hand over her wound and watched it disappear. He places a illusion and a type of force field over the alleyway and leaves to be his freaky weird self at Stark tower. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   2023 

   (Aka Kody’s version of Endgame that makes no logical sense)

   after being ‘blipped’ out of existence for five years you were still adjusting to the change. Your school- Midtown High School had created a program for kids how still needed to finish there senior year. You were placed in a new classroom with a couple of kids you knew and didn’t

   the only names you could remember was Ned, Mj, Flash- he was a dick, Betty, Liz, Brad, and Peter. You didn’t know any of them personally but had heard thee names enough to look at their faces and remember them. You all were in a class together all day except for lunch and a free period. 

   you didn’t really care much for making friends because you never had the time. After being blipped back you found out your mother wasn’t and she had been put in a home. You took care of her for a couple years until she died in her sleep from a stroke. 

   once you got back you took on a couple jobs to try and raise enough money to buy a small apartment for you. One job was a checking books for damages at a library and the other was stocking shelves at a supermarket along with the occasional dog walking and errand running.

   needless to say you were busy and guilty for what had happen that day to your mother. You tried telling her about the man that had talked to you which you later found out was Loki the god of mischief and he wasn’t the greatest of people, but he hadn’t been back to earth since. 

   the powers he gave you were more of a burden then blessing at most times. With the ability you could now throw energy projectile blasts, manipulate others minds, use telepathy, astral project and teleport. It was a lot for a six year old so you ended up never using it.

   that was until you were thirteen and walking to school. You saw a cat in the road laying down. The worst part was a car was coming quickly, speeding actually down the road and the cat was not moving. Your poor animal heart couldn’t take it and in an instant you teleported in front of the cat. 

   you picked it up and teleported back on the sidewalk. You weren’t quite sure how you did it, so chalked it up to spur of the moment thing. You ended up keeping the all black cat and naming it Snape. He turned out to be a little shit so it fits.

   after that you started practicing and developing your abilities. Your logic was if you have them at least learn how to use them even if you don’t want them. You had refused to use them unless absolutely necessary though. You didn’t want to draw attention towards yourself. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   6 months later

   outfit

   you pushed open the door to the classroom with one hand and a box of donuts in the other. “Is Mr. Harrington here yet?” you ask out loud earning a couple no’s in return from what you assumed was Mj and Betty. You nod once and shut the door. You look up and walk towards the table your friends were at

   yeah yeah, you decided to finally get close to these people you were stuck with. Some a bit more than others....Anyway, you took a seat next to Mj and place the box on the table “All your guys favorites. I know i’m amazing- hold your applause please” you say, holding up your hand.

   Mj rolls her eyes and slides a coffee cup towards you “Here, since you got donuts” she shrugs before reaching into the box. You smile and grab the cup. It was still hot. You hear the door open again and turn your head to see Peter and Ned walking “Hey guys! Y/n got us donuts!” Betty exclaimed. 

   they both look up. Peter looks at you and you both lock eyes for a moment before he adverts his gaze quickly. Imagine having a crush on a guy who is a nervous wreck? You found it cute though- in a non weird way. “Oh! cool. Thanks Y/n” Ned says and takes a seat next to Betty

   you give him a half smile as Peter takes a seat next to him. All of you grab a donut and begin to eat. After a couple minutes you hear Peter yelp and look towards him. He reached under the table and rubbed his leg, giving Mj a glare, who gave him one right back. 

   “So Y/n. Since midterms is coming up and we've all stuck together this year Peter was thinking of having a small get together at his house while his Aunt is out of town” Ned suddenly spoke up, taking your attention away from Peter and Mj’s death stares. Your face twinges a bit “When is it?” you ask. 

   “This Tomorrow” he says. You had always turn down offers like this because you feel guilty going out while your mother was stuck in a home unable to walk even though she told you to be a teenager multiple times and to stop worrying over her so much, but alas you were a stubborn one. 

   “I’m working that day-”

   “No your not. I have your work schedule, both of them” Mj cut in with her emotionless smile as she took a bite of her donut. How did she know your work- nevermind. You forgot Mj was a genius sometimes and a class A weirdo, but she was your weirdo. “I have to ask Nancy then-”

   “I called her. She said it was okay”

   you blink mindlessly for a moment before Betty spoke up “You have Nancy’s number?” she asked, leaning into the table. Mj shrugs her shoulders “She’s a nice conversationalist” she says vaguely. You all stare at her for a couple seconds before you think of another excuse. 

   “It’s Peters party thing.” You say and looked towards the brown haired boy who had been just listening to the chaos “Do you even want me there?” you ask him. Peter’s eyes widen briefly “Of course i want you there!- I- uh i mean yeah your my friend” he sputters slightly, Ned facepalming behind him.

   Mj grins as she finished her nice fried treat “I win” she says and you exhale “Fine i’ll go. It would actually be nice to get out the girls home” you admit, leaning back into the chair “Nancy still a raging bitch?” Ned said, making Peter and Betty chuckle. His laugh was nice- so was Betty’s of course eh ha. 

   “Mr. harrington is coming! Hide the box!” Brad yells as he peaks out the door. You all quickly scramble to shove the box in your bag.

   ☼-☪-☼

   at the end of class while you were packing your things when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You place your notebook back down and  turn behind you. There stood Peter Parker staring back at you nervously “Um- Hi” he says and you smile lightly “Hi” you say back to him.

   he reached behind and scratched the back of his neck “So uh- about my party thing tonight” he starts. You nod slowly “Yeah the party thing” you repeat. “Ned’s thinking about bringing Betty as his date” Peter sputters out. You purse your lips together into an emotionless smile.

   “Okay...” you trail before going to grab your notebook again when Peter slides it off the table and into his hand. You slowly turn and raise a brow “Thank you?” you say and hold out your hand. “Would you like to be my Betty?- Date! i mean date. Would you, Y/n be my date to my party thing”

   a smile formed on your lips. Not in a million years did you think Peter Parker would break from his shell to finally say something to you. In all honestly you would have made the first move if he didn’t make it so damn hard to figure out if he actually liked you. 

   “I’d like that very much. As long as i get to see your lego death star” you say. His face goes from nervous and fearing rejection to slight confusion. He lets out a small laugh “Are you using me for my death star?” he asked, his tone a bit more confident than before.

   you gasp, your mouth agape in mock offense “How dare you accuse me of such things Peter Parker- but yeah your right.” you say jokingly. His smile turns into a wide grin that he is unable to control. You held out your hand again and Peter gives you the notebook.

   “I’ll see you tomorrow then?” he asked as you open your bag to place the notebook next to your folder before zipping it up. You look at him and nod “Yeah you will. Who knows, maybe i’ll wear something nice” shrugging, you turn around and head out the door. 

   as soon as you walk out all of that cool and collected confidence melted away and you were left smiling and laughing like a giddy school girl all by yourself. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   Peter Parker asked you out. Peter Parker asked you out

   you were walking home, humming along to the music blasting through your earbuds. You couldn’t hear any of the loud ass lovely sounds of Queens. You reach into your jeans back pocket to grab your phone when someone shoulder checks you hard. 

   you went to curse out this rude stranger when you realize they were running with a worried look. You take out the earbuds and your ears are instantly filled with cracking noises and peoples screaming. You look up and the building next to the one you were standing next to was on fire. 

   it was an apartment building and the top floors were engulfed in flames. You saw a crowd forming outside of the lobby and cue into there conversation. A woman was crying on the ground while another woman held her “Our sons are still in there! There on the top floor! Please you have to get them!”

   the woman seemed to be pleading to a officer who was keeping people from going inside along with multiple other police men and woman. “Ma’am the fire department is on there way. There is a delay due to traffic. You’ll just have to wait” he says which just makes her cry out, her wife grabbing her tighter. 

   “Where’s Spiderman!”

   “Spiderman isn’t fireproof!”

   you felt your hands shake a bit. Those boys were stuck up there and you could do something. So why were you standing still? You could help, but you were so scared of losing control and causing more harm then good. All reasoning went out the window when you heard a boy cry for his mom.

   you duck into an alleyway and dig through your bag. You grab your black hoodie and face mask you had always carried for some reason. You just needed something to cover your skin. You take off your flannel sweater and shove it in your bag before slipping the hoodie on. 

   you take the face mask and put the elastic bands behind your ears and press the metal bar against your nose so it molds against your face. You take a deep breath and pull the hood over your head. Inhaling deeply, you thought about being on the floor and in a blink of an eye, you were gone. 

   once you open your eyes you see flames licking up the walls and it instantly feels a million times hotter. “So this is what a rotisserie chicken feels like” you mumble. “Mommy!” a boy yells and a cry of another one follows. You walk down the hall avoiding the wall with flames.

   you make it down the hall and go to reach for the door handle. As soon as your palm touched it, it seared your skin. You hiss and pull back your hand quickly. Looking at your palm you saw the red skin. “Shit. Why didn’t i just teleport in?” you thought aloud before poof you were in. You see two boys huddled together.

   you walk towards them “Hey! Are you two okay?!” you call out. The older one, around ten maybe looks away from his younger brother who looked a little over three and at you “Help please. My brother fell asleep and woke wake up!” he cried before bursting into a coughing fit. 

   “I’m here to help. Just be calm okay? I’ll get you both out of here” you say to try and sooth the boy. He nods and tries to stand up with his brother. You step towards him and lift the little boy in your arms. You use your free hand to take the mask off your face and hand it to the boy “Put this on”

   he takes it from your hands and puts it on his face. You hold out your hand and he grabs it. You give him a quick smile beforeing teleporting back onto the sidewalk. The fire department and paramedics were already at the lobby, getting ready to go in. 

   the boy lets go of your hand and runs towards his mothers “Mommy!” he yells and the two woman look up. “Georgie?!” the crying woman yells before they both run towards him. You look at the crowd and realize that people had just saw you poof into existence. You quickly look down before anyone can see your face. 

   shit shit shit shit 

   in a haste you walk over to the paramedics who were already walking towards you and hand them the little boy “he inhaled to much smoke” you spit out and turn around. Before you could take another step fucking Spiderman just drops down. This couldn’t get any worse.

   “Hey- person! How did you do that!?” he yells but you teleport into the ally. You lift the hoodie from your body and drop it into your bag. You needed to go home before anyone came around. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   the next day

   Peter had dealt with the situation and avoided press about who the mysterious teleporter was. Mostly because he didn’t know and didn’t want to spread panic amongst the public. So he decided to contact Tony the next day out of all people, cause duh. He was driven by Happy to the Avengers base.

   once he got out he was waiting in the main area where they had there meetings, which is where we start off. Tony walks through the door followed by Natasha and Steve. Clint was with family at the moment and Tony just gathered who was here at the moment. 

   “So kid. No pressure, but if this isn’t serious as you say i will revoke your suit privileges for a week” Tony threatens making Peter smile nervously. “It is i swear. So i was walking home from school right? Yeah and this building was on fire so of course i’m the friendly neighborhood Spiderman so i went to go save them-”

   “-skip ahead” Tony cuts in, Natasha rolled her eyes, folding her arms over her chest. Peter nods fast and coughs a bit before continuing “Anyway this random person in a hoodie like pops out of nowhere- like teleported into the building and saved these two kids and-” 

   Natasha raises her hand “This person you say saved kids? Why are we talking about this again?” she asked. Suddenly the door opens again revealing Wanda and Vision “Well this place needs tighter security” Steve says. Tony sighs and looks at them “No please come in were not busy or anything”

   Vision steps towards the group along with Wanda “There’s an infinity stone on earth” he spoke rather vaguely. “Yeah it’s in your head and the other is with the Wizard- We’ve gone over this people! You need to read your debriefings” Tony points at Vision before leaning against the long table. 

   Peter just sighed as he knew he would be ignored for the next few minutes “I am aware of the of the Time and Mind stone location. There is something with the same signature as the mind stone on earth. Like Wanda’s but weaker and more docile.” he explains. 

   both Steve and Natasha give him terrified looks “Could it be a mishap from the time traveling? Wanda was anyone else given powers like you?” Steve asked. Wanda shook her head “Me and Pietro were the only people who survived, but they could have continued there experiments?” she suggests. 

   Tony shakes his head “Strucker was killed by Ultron and anyone who knew about it is the same way or locked up in federal prison. This is something different- wait kid” he says and turns to Peter “You said you saw somebody with powers today right?” 

   Peter nods to Tony “Yeah- i couldn’t really tell there face, but i’m pretty sure it was a girl?” he said, quite unsure of his own words. Tony reached into his pocket and pulled out a dry erase market before walking over to the clear board that was set up in the room. 

   he uses his mouth to bite off the cap of the marker and turns to Steve to spit it out at him. The cap bounces of...well cap. His chest to be more specific and drops to the ground. Steve narrows his eyes, shaking his head slightly at Tony’s behaviour, but that was normal. 

   Tony draws a quick messed up bean shape and labels it the Mind Stone “So what we know is that the mind stone is stuck in ‘Not Jarvis’ over there” he says and draws a short line from the stone drawing to the words ‘Not Jarvis’ “Now for the people with the mind stone power. Go!” he points randomly behind him.

   Wanda spoke up “Pietro and i” she says, her expression faltering a bit. Vision wraps his arm around her side and pulls her into him. He looked down at her and gave her a loving smile, one that she returned. Peter watched them for a moment. They had such natural love for two unnatural people. 

   he wondered if he would ever find something similar to what they had. When he thought about it hard enough his mind went to you. You had both gone to school together since you were kids, but were never close or talked in general. That was until junior year when you were placed in his english class.

   Peter took into the fact that you were much quieter then you had been before. You would gaze off into the window and go unnoticed by anyone. You were never really there, just existing in the background. No romantic feelings were involved at the point just curiosity. 

   then both of you were placed in the program and he got to finally talk to you. Or so he thought. You were still the same, sat in the back, dozing off, but still managing to pass every paper with a C or higher. Peter found it strange that you had not changed one bit.

   ever since the population was ‘blipped’ back people had been more daring and taking risks, claiming it was there second chance at doing what you really dreamed of and such, but you were just there....existence again. Still the same old girl.

   could you be so content with your life that you would make no change? or was there something in your way, stopping from evolving in life? As you can imagine these thoughts filled Peter’s brain to the point that it physically hurt. Still no feelings at this point, just frustration. 

   that’s when Mj noticed his infatuation with you and she decided to take matters into her own hands, per usual. She talked to you after class and invited you to sit with them at their table. Peter thought there was no way you’d take the offer, but you did? Mj was either really convincing or God

   the world will never know

   that’s when romantic feelings were involved. Peter thought that you would act the same, but just around a group of people but he was so wrong. You actually engaged in conversation. Maybe that’s what was keeping you from making friends, being scared of making the first move.

   he would always remember the day he saw you smile. It was like it lit up the whole room. All his senses were heightened- more then they already were as Spiderman and it was so weird. Everytime he was around you he felt euphoric in a way.

   he fell hard

   the next six months were spent obsessing over what to say, do, wear, even eat around you even though he knew you weren't the judgy kind of person. It wasn’t long until everyone around him except for you knew he had a crush on you, but you just thought he was a nervous guy. 

    oh god- he asked you out and you said yes. It was almost like he couldn’t believe you had actually said yes. Peter didn’t think he was a bad looking guy, just that you were so out of his league it was almost comical. What should he wear? What if you both got alone at some point during the party thing?

   “Kid!”

   Peter’s eyes averted from the floor and towards the small group. All of them were looking at him with concerned expressions He smiled sheepishly, reaching behind to scratch the back of his neck “Sorry- sir” he says. Tony exhales dramatically “Oh i’m sorry are we boring you?” 

   Steve shakes his head “He’s probably thinking about school or something. He’s still a kid Tony” he says giving Peter a nod- yeah school. Totally. Tony waves him away “Whatever. Now that your back on planet earth kid go suit up. Not Jarvis over her can track our mystery chick”

   Peter’s face lights up “Yes Mr. Stark- i can use the bathroom first right?” he says. Tony blinked mindlessly for a couple seconds “Yes.....go” he waved him away. Peter smiles before waving to the rest of them politely. Natasha gave him a warm smile along with Vision and Wanda. Steve was scolding Tony.

    ☼-☪-☼

   Peter had his suit on and made his way to the front where Wanda, Vision, and, Tony. “Where’s everyone else?” Peter asked, walking towards them “We want to keep a low radar” Tony said, adjusting some tech on his arm. Peter tilts his head and points at Vision “but he’s red- no offense!” he says. 

   Vision looked at his body for a moment “Oh yes. One moment please” he spoke and in a way of yellow magic his body switched from it’s natural red form to a human one. Peter’s eyes widened under his mask, taking a step forward “That. Is. So. Cool!” he shouts going over to spoke Vision’s arm.

   Vision lifted his arm out for Peter to touch, finding it amusing. Wanda snickered to herself at Peter’s child like wonder. “Alright let's head out before the Kid starts drooling” Tony interrupts as Happy pulls up in front of the base. Peter quickly snapped his head towards Tony’s direction. 

   “If were trying to keep a low profile. Why am i here in my suit?” Peter questions, crossing his arms. “You are going to be on a building watching and observing. I signal you if i need you” Tony explains. Peter sighs in defeat, he was backup....again. At least it was something.

   “Okay” Peter says. Vision faces Wanda and opens his mouth to speak, but before he could Wanda does “I know, you want me to stay here in case it’s dangerous” she spoke. Vision let out a small snort, holding back a smile. Did she know him that well?

   duh. I want what they have

   “Actually, quite the opposite. I think you coming is a great idea” he said, stunning Wanda into silence for a couple seconds “What?-” she looks up at him. Vision reaches down and takes his hand into hers. Peter watched, wonderly if he should give them a moment or not.

   “If this person really has the same powers you then they are just as scared and confused as you were. They might find comfort in knowing they are not alone” Vision spoke, Wanda nodding along with him. She understood what he meant and she was glad to help them- the stranger. 

   “Okay”

   “Already love birds and backup into the car. No flying or swinging today. Good old fashion driving” Tony ushered everyone out the building. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   outfit

   you were holding a white tote bag full of groceries since you didn’t like the plastic ones, walking to the group home. You usually bought non-refrigeratable items every week to keep in your room since the other girls in the home like to steal food that wasn’t there's. It sucked, but you had no other options. 

   turning the corner, you started to walk down a pretty empty backway street. One hand on your bag and another on a switchblade in your brown jacket. A girl needs to protect herself in this day and age with perverted super straight men. More like super small. 

   you feel your phone buzz in your back pocket and reach behind to grab it. You tap the screen and notice a familiar contact ‘My Wife’ oh it was Mj. She had sent a text ‘Yo, for the thing tomorrow can you bring me that bread from the corner store around your place?’

   did she just text you....for bread? My kind of woman. 

   you snicker to yourself and drop the handle down your arm and so you could use both hands to text her back ‘Yeah sure. I think you have a problem though. This is your fourth loaf this month’ you sent the text and shove your phone into your pocket. 

   looking up you see a woman with long reddish brown hair and a tall man with blond hair. They looked like a couple and were walking towards you. Out of pure social anxiety you were going to put your head down, but were stopped when the man spoke.

   “Excuse me miss” he spoke, very formally and had an accent of some sorts. You stop a few feet in front of the couple. They probably wanted directions. They didn’t really look like new yorkers in your opinion. “Um yes?” you say with a polite smile. 

   in an instant a yellow color enveloped his body and he switched from the normal man to- to- The Vision!? You took a step back The Vision calling out to you “Please wait!”, turning on your heels to run away. You instantly hit some kind of hard metal, causing you to fall back onto your butt.

   “Not so fast kid”

   once you look up you see the one and only Tony Stark in his suit- so Iron Man actually. What the fuck was happening? Your heart rate began to speed up. Shit. “I haven’t done anything” you say quickly. This time the woman with reddish hair spoke- oh shit isn’t that the war criminal turned hero?

    “We know you have some kind of ability, correct?” she asked. She had a slovakian accent. How did they know? Should you tell the truth? You didn’t like that Stark was in his suit, it just had ‘i already see you as a threat’ written all over it, but the woman seemed so kind and gentle with her words. 

   looking up at her, you nod slowly. The woman offers her hand for you to take and you do. She pulls you off the ground. Once your up she seems to study you “I’m Wanda, you are so young. How old are you?” you look down for a second before back at her. She was so nice “I’m 17″

   The Vision- or just Vision stood next to Wanda “How long have you had these abilities?” he asked you, gesturing for you to walk with them “Since i was six, it happened in the 2012 attack” you explained. Wanda’s eyes widen a bit “Six years old? What monster would give a child that power?” 

   “Were walking now, great” Stark says and is ignored

   you gulp as you walked alongside them, gathering up your courage to speak. It was still a touchy subject “The mind stone was in Loki, the god of mischiefs possession at the time, but i cannot see him sharing power with another person let alone a human” Vision but in. 

   “It’s a long story” you say, your face cringing slightly as the memories flooded “Do you wish to speak with us in a more private place?” Vision asked. Wanda gave you a warm smile as well. You nod once “Yeah that be great.” you say.

   “Alright let’s roll out. The kid is dealing with a bank robbery a couple blocks away, but he’ll meet up with us once he’s finished. You two take her back i have to pick up Morgan from school or Pepper is putting me in the doghouse” Stark said before he flies up into the air.  

    ☼-☪-☼

   Peter had just swung down into the base through the opening in a skylight that Tony installed for quick access. Once he landed on the ground he pulled his mask off and pat the metal spider symbol on his chest. The suit folded into itself until all was left was the metal spider. 

   he turns into the hallway and makes his way to lab, figuring Tony would have resided there after there encounter with the person. As he walked he felt the hair on his arms and neck stand up in attention. Peter tingle. Peter reached behind him a grabbed an arrow mid air, turning on heels. 

   he turns around and sees Morgan with her training bow, giggling to herself “Hi” she says with a small smile. Peter smiled and looked at the arrow, the tip was dull so it wouldn’t have done any damage “Hi” he says back to her “Nice shot by the way” he adds.

   Morgan giggles, pushing some of her brown hair from her face. Peter crouches down and hands her the arrow. She doesn’t take it and turns around so he could place it in her quiver. It was clearly made my Tony and had her name in red rhinestones. Super techy and cute. 

   Peter place the arrow in with the rest of them and Morgan turns back around “Do you know where your dad is?” Peter asked and she nods, not saying anything “What do you want for the information?” he questions with a mock serious tone. 

   Morgan’s face scrunched up, trying to make it look like she was thinking. After half a second shes smiling brightly again “Up!” she exclaims. Peter chuckles to himself before scooping Morgan up in his arms. He lifts her up and she points down the hall. “To the lab!” she shouts.

   “Yes ma’am” he replies and began to walk down with her. While they walked Morgan began to tell Peter about her day at school and how Tony picked her up in his suit and everyone thought it was super cool. Seems like something Tony would do. 

   when he made it towards the lab entrance he spotted Wanda and Vision staring into the window that looked into the lab. Peter places Morgan down and she fists bump him before running into the lab. That seemed safe. “Peter your back, are you alright?” Wanda spoke. Peter looked away from Morgan.

   Peter nods “Yeah nothing i can handle. Sorry i wasn’t there” he apologized. Wanda shook her head with a smile “The situation never escalated. We were able to take her in willingly. Mr. Stark is with her now” Vision explained. Peter raised a brow “So it was a girl?” 

   “She’s only 17. She got her powers when she was only 6. We haven’t noticed her because she never uses them” Wanda says. Peter’s brown eyes widen in size “Six years old?” he mumbled to himself. Wanda gestures to the window they were looking out of.

   Peter steps towards them and turns his head to look into the window. He spots a girl propped up in a tube and unconscious. H/L H/c hair and- oh shit. Peter’s mouth fell open as he now processed what he was seeing in all of it’s reality. “Y/n?” he said to himself. 

   both Wanda and Vision look at Peter “Do you know her?” Wanda asked since before you went into the lab you told them your name and Tony had yet to pull up your name in the database. Peter nods and just watches in shock as Tony stands in front of the tube analyzing your DNA. 

   “Yeah- she’s in my class. I’ve known her a long time, but we only got close like 6 months ago” he explains, reaching up to run a hand through his hair “Shit” he huffs out. Wanda looked confused “How close?” she asked, sensing they were a bit closer then he said. 

   “i asked her out yesterday. I planned it for weeks just for this to happen” Peter sighs. Wanda places a hand on his shoulder “Does the fact that she has powers change the way you feel about her?” she asked. Peter shook his head “No- i just wish she told me”

   “Fear takes over the mind. As well as rejection over something you cannot control” Vision says, tilting his head slightly “But sometimes you have to take risks. I was made without emotion, but i grew to love” he explains. “Her having such abilities should only bring you closer”

   “but she doesn’t know i’m spiderman” Peter says with a nervous laugh “Well i think it’s time you tell her, but i can not tell you what to do just advise” Vision smiles politely and takes Wanda’s hand into his, placing a kiss on her knuckles. Peter watched for a moment before sighing.

   what to do

    ☼-☪-☼

   after tony took all the tests he could do he called up Strange to contact Thor since the god of thunder did not have a phone. They needed to get Loki to earth to explain how he gave a child such powers and/or kill him. That was mostly Tony’s idea. 

   Tony got real sensitive when he figured out a child- a girl his daughters age was given such an ability and it suddenly got personal. You were put into a guest room so when you woke up it wouldn’t be such a surprise and more cozy then a hospital bed. 

   your eyes open slowly and your met with a ceiling fan, which is slightly strange. Your room didn’t have a fan? You slowly sat up. “I wouldn’t move much” your head snaps in the direction of the voice and you see..Peter?! sitting in a loveseat next to the bed you were laying on. 

   “Peter? What are you?- Oh your internship right. I-” shit how were you going to explain to him why you were there. Peter shakes his head “I know why your here” he says. This whole demour was different. He didn’t seem nervous at all. You exhale deeply “Well shit”

   “Yeah-” Peter raises his arm and a web shoots out from his wrist, grabbing onto the glass of water that was on the nightstand. He pulls it into his hand and hands it to you “Oh shit” you repeated “Your um- What!?” you were in complete shock. Why did he have to this after you just woke up?

   he nods “Yeah- i’m Spiderman” he says, looking down for a moment before back at you. "You aren’t weirded out?” he asked. Your face dropped to a deadpan look “I can create portals and teleport. I’m surprised your not weirded out” you say back. 

   “You can teleport that’s like- so cool!” and there goes the geek in him. You chuckle to yourself as you take the water from his hand, taking a sip “Yeah” you say. “You don’t seem to like it do you? Wanda told me what happened” he asked. You shake your head.

   “I never have. I thought i was weird. I never even told my mom” you say. Peter looked like he didn’t know what to say for a moment “Yeah i didn’t tell anyone either. Then Ned caught me, then May. Mj kinda found out on her own actually” he says, looking like he was thinking back on it. 

   “They all know!” you exclaim and he looked taken aback “They caught me when i flew into my window! Mj is just- Mj” he throws his hands in the air for a moment. You stifle laughter at his reaction “Okay okay. So the Stark internship is like a coverup?” you ask.

   “Yeah. He tracked me down when i first started being Spiderman. Gave me a cool suit- multiple cool suits in exchange that i fight with him against Captain America. That was so long ago now that i think about it” he says. You nod along. Jeez this was a lot. 

   once he finished speaking you both sat there in silence for a minute or so “So-“ you start, putting the glass down “I might not be able to go to the party thing.” you say with a laugh. Peter laughs as well “Yeah i figured you couldn’t. Mr. Stark wants to keep you overnight” 

   you sigh. You didn’t really want to be stuck in a random place at night with being you didn’t know. Even if they were nice, they were still strangers. Peter notices the change in your expression and reaches to grab your hand. You feel your heart race abit as he does. 

   “I already cancelled the party. I told Ned and Mj the truth, minus the you part and they made up some excuse on how they would move it somewhere else and i wouldn’t be coming” he rubs his thumb over your hand. You look up at him “You didn’t- why would you do that?”

   Peter inhales before speaking “Because you shouldn’t be alone right now and- and because i really like you Y/n. Like a lot- i have for awhile” he says. Is he confessing right now? Weird timing, but you’ll roll with it. “I really like you too Peter”

   his face lit up like fireworks, you swore you could see an actual sparkle in his eye. He goes quiet again as his eyes slowly move down to your lips. He doesn’t say anything, but it is very obvious of what he wants “Peter” you say and he breaks out of his trance “huh?- yeah!?” he says with a nervous laugh. 

   “Kiss me”

   he froze for a second before sputtering “Really?! because i don’t want to make you uncomfortable because i really like you and Steve said i should always respect women and their decisions ‘cause-” you grab the collar of his sweater and plant your lips on his. 

   you thought he wasn’t going to kiss back since he was just frozen. So, you went to pull away but were pleasantly surprised when he grabbed the side of your face, pulling you into a deeper kiss. Holy shit- the nerd had game. Peter must have been really into the kiss because he forgot that air was a thing. 

   you pulled away and he rests his forehead on yours, smiling like an idiot “I’m sorry i just-” “It’s okay Peter” you say before he could stumble over his words more. He smiles again and goes to kiss you again but as you go to lean in yo see a little girl in the doorway.

   “Shit!” you jump back and Peter looks at you weirdly before you point at the doorway. Peter turns around and his face drops “Morgan. Shouldn’t you be waiting in the conference room for Pepper to pick you up?” he says. Morgan giggles and walks over to the bed.

   she looks at you then Peter “She’s pretty” she says making you smile a little. Peter chuckles to himself “Yeah i know” Morgan giggles again before nodding “I approve” and with that she walked out the room, shutting it behind her. You blinked mindlessly for a couple seconds 

   “I feel honored” you say and Peter chuckles 

    ☼-☪-☼

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    ☼-☪-☼

   Kody- there will be a part two to this story if it is so desired.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker x female reader #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x fem!reader #spiderman x female reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #the avengers #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel #marvel imagine #imagine #imagines #oneshot #one shot #tom holland

[sweethq]

♡ how you became friends with them // headcanon

𑁍 Characters: Oikawa Tōru, Kuroo Tetsurō, Akaashi Keiji, Sugawara Kōshi

»»—Trigger warning(s): none—-««

➶ Genre: hmmm fluff?

-ˏˋ A/N: i’m an absolute hoe for all of them, I just had to put them in the same post ˊˎ-

Click here for part 1!

your nephew’s friends were going to the park to play volleyball and he wouldn’t stop begging you to take him

both of his parents were at work, forcing you to keep an eye on the little booger

all you wanted to do was stay home and watch terrible reality shows

but you decided to be nice and grant him his wish

besides, it would be nice to leave the house every once and awhile lol

when you got to the park you saw your nephew’s friends playing volleyball with a guy who was definitely not their age

“do you know that guy?” you ask the young one standing next to you, hoping that the older boy in the distance wasn’t some creep that was preying on children

“yeah, that’s _____’s uncle. he’s really good at volleyball so he likes to come and show off”

what kind of grown ass man would want to show off his skills to a bunch of 9 year olds lmao

you didn’t question it any further and took a seat on a nearby bench while your nephew ran to his friends

after about two minutes of scrolling through your phone, your nephew returns

“tooru wants you to come play volleyball with us”

“did you tell him that i don’t know anything about volleyball?”

“yup. come on, let’s go”

deadass pulls your phone out of your hand, grabs your arm, and drags you over to the group

he was freakishly strong for his age

“hi! i’m tooru, what’s your name?”

“uh, i’m y/n”

“cool! do you want to play volleyball with us?”

“do i have a choice?”

“nope!”

he quickly goes over the gist of the game and shows you how to position your arms for a receive and how to spike the ball

honestly most of it went through one ear and out the other, but you nodded as if you understood everything he was saying

you finally started the mock match, you and tooru on opposing sides

first play into the game, tooru serves it (at like 30% power from his usual serves) and it’s coming straight for you

instead of taking a step backwards so you can receive it, you just stare at it until it hits you dead in the face hAAA

all of the kids started laughing while tooru stood there in shock

who would’ve known this would be the start to an amazing friendship

we all know, math is FREAKING HARD

and the fact that you had to learn about imaginary numbers irked the hell out of you

they don’t even exist, WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW THIS

but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it

your teacher could see you visibly struggling with this lesson, even seeing that you nearly failed one of your quizzes

she pulled you to the side after class one day and told it to you straight

“if you don’t get a B on this next test, you’re going to have to retake this class”

“y-you expect me to get a B?!!!?!?!?!?”

yeah the rest of the day you were depressed lol

how in the world were you supposed to magically understand all of the material within the next week?

that’s where smartboi!kuroo comes along

he approaches you during lunch, taking the empty seat in front of you

you just kinda 👁️👄👁️

“hi so i couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with our math teacher. i can help you if you want. i don’t know if you know this, but i’m kinda good at math”

he gave you one of his infamous smirks, making you scoff

you had never talked to kuroo before, but he had a reputation around school for being arrogant and cold

“please tell me why i would want help from you?”

“because if you don’t get help then you’re probably going to fail this class and have to retake it, and we both know that’s not what you want.”

you hate that he’s right

“ugh fine”

over the course of that week you and kuroo hung out every day after school

and you found out that he’s nothing like what people say he is, he’s just a big nerd

you start to become fond of him, liking how patient he is with you and how much effort he’s putting into your tutoring sessions

by the end of the week, you’re actually able to call him a friend

and you got a B on the test :p

you were not a morning person

you were the type or person that needed to set 50 alarms in the morning just so you’d wake up for school

unfortunately, sometimes 50 alarms still isn’t enough to keep you from falling back asleep

one morning, you closed your eyes after turning off your alarm, knowing that another one will go off in 10 minutes. I’ll get up then, you tell yourself

what you didn’t know is that the alarm you turned off happened to be the last one

you wandered back to sleep and waited for the alarm that never went off

when you woke up, you checked your phone and saw that you were most definitely running late

you quite literally jumped out of bed and threw on your uniform and shoes before grabbing your backpack and running out the door

you didn’t even bother grabbing something to eat or checking the weather, two things you usually did every morning

you sprinted towards the bus stop, hoping that you didn’t just miss it and have to wait for another

but of course, as you’re approaching, you see the bus depart

and, to make matters even better, it was starting to rain

you made your way to the bus stop, standing under the small roof for shelter from the rain, staring at the bus that was slowly getting smaller

you sigh loudly while taking out your phone, finding the bus schedule only to see that the next one won’t be coming for another 20 minutes

school starts in 15, which is around the same time it would take to run there

but at this point, it wasn’t just raining, it was absolutely downpouring. but what choice did you have?

you prepared yourself to ruin into the rain, but before you could leave the shelter of the roof above you, a cold hand grabbed onto your wrist

you turned around to see sugawara, a boy who was in your third period class

he reached into his backpack and pulled out an umbrella before handing it to you

“here, use this. if you run to school in this weather, you might catch a cold”

“no, that’s okay. if i take this, then you might catch a cold. plus, it’s your umbrella, you should use it”

he laughed before grabbing your hand and placing the umbrella in it

before you could protest, he pulled his hood over his head and ran into the rain

you were dumbfounded, but decided not to waste any more time and make your way to school

you returned his umbrella to him when you saw him in class, and bought him lunch as a thank you

found out that you guys live in the same direction, and decided to walk to and from school together

now you don’t need 50 alarm clocks, knowing that suga will beat ur ass if you’re not ready to leave by the time he gets to your house lol

it was the week before finals, so you were doing the same thing that most students were doing

pulling all nighters at the library and drinking way too much coffee

it was approximately 2:30 in the morning when you were approaching the last class you needed to study for

the problem was, you had left your textbook for that class at home (freaking idiot)

thankfully for you, the library had one in stock that you could borrow for free

you wandered around the building that was surprisingly empty

on most days, every seat would be filled regardless of the time, everyone wanting to cram as much knowledge into their heads before their big exams

you finally found the section you were looking for and started scouting the bookshelves for the textbook you desired

after a solid 10 minutes of grazing through hundreds of books, your eyes finally fall onto the one you’ve been looking for

the only problem was

it was on the top shelf

and you were definitely not tall enough to reach it

but were you going to ask someone to help you get the book like a normal person?

of course not

no, the only logical answer to this problem would to be to climb the bookcase and use the tips of your finger to hopefully bring the book into your grasp

so that’s what you did,,,, kinda

the book was just out of your reach, so you started to swat at it like a cat, hoping the momentum would make your reach a tad longer

and it did!

but instead of you grabbing the book, your arm decided to fling it off the shelf

and right onto the head of a pretty boy who happened to be standing right beneath you

“oh my god are you oka-” *falls off the bookcase*

you were surprisingly able to land on your feet, but you twisted your ankle in the process

“are you okay?” akaashi asked, seeing the pain flash in your eyes

“I should be asking you that, i just dropped my book on your head :(“

akaashi was definitely not planning on spending his friday night in a nurses office with some clumsy person that drops books on people’s heads

and he definitely didn’t appreciate having to be checked for a concussion when he could be using this valuable time for studying

but when he was given the all clear and your ankle was wrapped, you offered him your last onigiri as a peace offering

instantly forgets about the whole incident and becomes a happy puppy

you find out that you guys are studying for the same class so decide to combine your brains and study together

study buddies 4 life!

[taglist] — @avylee

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