#steve rogers abandoned this man and I will never forgive him
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Big girls don't cry (5)
Summary: You are no stranger to heartbreak.
Pairing: CEO!Steve Rogers x Plussized!Reader
Warnings: angst, strong reader, mentions of former heartbreak, regret, fear of commitment, abandonment issues, fluff, mistaken identity, hopeful ending, a little fun, talk about therapy
Big girls don’t cry masterlist
Part 4
“I wish you love. A love that will give you everything you’ll ever need…”
You fist his shirt, desperate to tell Steve how you feel. Yes, he hurt you deeply but maybe there is a chance that you can work things out.
There is love between the two of you. A love you don’t want to give up easily.
You didn’t know he struggled in the past too, believing he always was the self-confident man he is. You understand now that he is insecure sometimes - just like you.
“Steve, I don’t want someone else to love me. I only wanted you to love me,” you hide your face in his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears.
“I ruined our love. I destroyed what we had because of my insecurities,” Steve cries now too. He hiccups and buries his face in your neck. “You will never love me again. I threw the best thing ever happening to me away. What else can I do but let you go to find someone better?”
“Steve, love doesn’t die easily. It’s stronger than you give it credit for. Love isn’t always strong from the beginning. It grows if you give it the chance to do so. Every touch, kiss, or gentle gesture let it grow,” you choke out a sob. “Even after a storm, it can grow if you find a way to forgive each other.”
“I love you so much it hurts not having you around. That day, I wanted to ask you to move in with me,” he sniffs, “I wasn’t sure how to propose, but I got the ring, and then…”
“You messed shit up, Stevie,” you whisper against him. “Why did you have to say these things? Why?”
“Sam and Bucky said I’m whipped, and I got scared that you will make me fall in love even more only to break my heart. Everyone just left me, and I kind of sabotaged our relationship to not get hurt. Instead, I hurt the only person who meant the world to me. I hate myself for it.”
“You’ve got abandonment issues. I don’t think you’ll be able to have a healthy relationship if you don’t seek help. Maybe you need a therapist to help you come to terms with your past. I’d gladly help you, but I don’t think I’m the right person.”
“A therapist,” Steve whispers. “Will you help me find one? I-I trust you and…”
“I won’t give up on us yet, Steve. I’m still angry at you. But mostly, I’m hurt. You didn’t trust me enough to talk about your past with me.”
“You didn’t talk about your past with me either, doll,” he lifts his head to look at you. “I guess we both should try to come to terms with our past. Maybe we can do it together?” Steve looks at you like a kicked puppy. “Please…”
“So…” You sit on Steve’s sofa, looking at the notebook in your hands. “What do you think about the therapist and the homework he gave us?”
“I’m not sure,” Steve places a cup of tea and some cookies on the coffee table in front of you. “It felt good to talk about the things bugging me. But I didn’t like the way he stared at your chest.”
You giggle. Steve is not wrong. Dr. Hansen poorly hid his attraction toward your boobs and ass. Maybe he wasn’t the best choice, but he had the best reviews.
Steve sighs and opens his notebook to reread the instructions Dr. Hansen gave him during their private session. “He told me to tell you how much I love your body. With my tongue and body.”
“He told you to have sex with me?” You wrinkle your nose. “You’re lying.” Steve yelps when you snatch the notebook out of his hands to get a look at the instructions. “Did he draw me?”
“Uh-that was me. Dr. Hansen was talking about you, and that you’re a beautiful woman. He wanted me to cherish you. I couldn’t help myself and draw you.”
“You’re very talented Steve,” you grin. “Just draw me with clothes on next time…”
“He didn’t see a thing. I swear,” he starts to sweat. “It’s just that the was talking about you, and your appearance all the time and my mind wandered.”
Sighing again you close the notebook. “I don’t think Dr. Hansen will help us. He’s a pervert.”
“Hmmm…” Steve nods in agreement. “I don’t understand all the good reviews. Maybe they are fake.”
“Let me check again,” you grab your phone to search for Dr. Hansen. “Hmm…” You frown deeply. “Crap.”
“What?” Steve looks at you, brows furrowed. “Doll? What’s wrong?” He worriedly places his hand on your thigh.
“I think…uh…I messed up this time,” you giggle as your cheeks heat up. “I noted the wrong address. I wanted to go to Dr. Hanson, not Dr. Hansen. We kinda ended up with a sex therapist.”
Steve snorts. “Well, we never had a problem in that department. Our sex was extraordinary, kinky, sweet, hot, and satisfying.”
“You are telling me,” you groan loudly. “Great. Now I know why he was talking about my sad vagina all the time. I believed he was a creep when he wanted me to tell him about my masturbation routine.”
“He asked you how you touch yourself?” Steve’s head snaps toward you. “I swear, I’m going to kill him. Right now. I’ll go to his practice and murder him.”
“He only did his job,” you point out.
Steve pouts. “I still don’t like that guy. He accused me of not taking care of your muffin. I don’t know what he meant, but I didn’t like it one bit.”
You snort, as you watch Steve. “Oh my god. Stevie! You can’t be serious.”
“I’m damn serious.” He slams his fist into the couch. “I always ate your muffins and cupcakes. How dare that man to say I don’t like the food you make.”
“Steve,” you giggle as you place your hand on his shoulder. “He was talking about my vagina, not pastries.”
“What?” All color drains from Steve’s face. His features harden and he’s about to kick the table. “How can he say such a thing?”
“Uh-I kinda told him that you disappointed me. I guess he believed I was talking about your qualities in the bedroom.” You start laughing at Steve’s pissed expression. He grunts as you hold your stomach. “This can only happen to us. We seek help and end up with a sex therapist.”
“Stop laughing,” Steve struggles to not laugh. “Doll, stop laughing. We should talk about our relationship, not laugh about our therapist.”
“I wanna laugh,” you giggle and kick your feet. “That feels,” you snort while laughing, “so good. Stevie…”
After the incident with Dr. Hansen, and your flash of laughter you decided to talk things out with Steve in private. If you need professional help, you can still look for a therapist.
It’s been two weeks, and you are slowly making progress. You talked about your childhood friends and slowly got closer to the core of your problems. Distrust and the fear of getting hurt again.
“You can take your time,” Steve softly says. “I told you about Peggy and the others hurting me. Uh-and my first girlfriend. You know that I’ll not judge you or laugh about you.”
You inhale sharply. It’s been years since you thought about your first love. “It was because of one of his friends’ comments. We were good, and I believed he liked me. One false word from his friend and he decided that I was not the girl he wanted to take to prom. Since then, I never trusted someone with my heart. Until you.”
“And I broke your trust in me,” Steve sighs deeply. “I know I said it before but I’m so fucking sorry. What happened in my past shouldn’t have influenced my life and my feelings for you. If I could turn back time and take the words back, I’d do it.”
“Now that we talked about our past, we should address the elephant in the room. Where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know,” he honestly says. “All I know is that my feelings for you never changed, and that I love you. I just don’t know if that’s enough for you.”
“What about your job? You quit and gave up your career,” you move a little closer to Steve to take his hand in yours. “What do you want to do now?”
“Bucky, Sam, and I are thinking about starting our own business. That was my dream for years. I hated working for that asshole.”
You interlock your fingers with Steve and lean your head against his shoulder. “You’ll stay in New York, right? I don’t want you to move miles away.”
“Of course, I’ll stay close to you, doll. It’s only a vague idea so far. We still need to talk about the details,” Steve leans his head against yours, sighing. “Do you want me to stick around?”
“Hmm…I could get any guy, you know. Including Dr. Hansen,” you grin hearing Steve inhale sharply. “Every guy wants a taste of me.”
“Y-ou wouldn’t go out with Dr. Hansen. Right? He’s still a creep,” Steve stammers. “Please don’t go out with him.”
“I could have any guy, but I only want you, Steve.”
Steve nods. He knows that you’ve got a long way ahead. Both of you need to heal, but if you are willing to give him the chance, he’ll show you what love is…
FIN
Tags in reblog.
#steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers x y/n#business au#Big girls don't cry (5)#ceo!steve rogers
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8 with steve rogers please🥺🥺♥️ thank you
𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐧
synopsis: a mission goes wrong, and all there is left is pain. but, there’s always light.
ao3
a/n: “You take me instead, do you hear me? Give her back and take me instead!” requested 8 from this dialogue prompt list, with Steve Rogers. sorry tumblr ate the inbox message.
warnings: mention of SA, ptsd, minor angst, recovery.
The ruins of ghosts’ past haunt you.
You were once as pure as a church, clean and holy —- now desolate, abandoned, and corrupted. Ruined. Broken pews where little children once bowed their little heads in prayer.
All these disregulated nerves alight with fire, and terror. Cautiously awaiting for the monsters to come out of the darkness, and finally devour the remaining carcass.
Five months ago.
Armed to the teeth with strapped weaponry, and confidence. An abandoned Hydra base left to rot in the middle of wilderness.
Cautious steps tread the corridors with precision, and stealth. As your husband was scouting the other end of the base, he entrusted you to be safe.
Found a laboratory, old vials of chemicals, and gasses. Dead silence hung over you as a wet blanket—- ears straining, faint footsteps near.
It was a blur.
All you can recall was the acidic scent of gas, shouting, a kick to your ribs, and your name being shouted through your comm.
His sweet voice bellowing, pleading for your life, sweet Steve. ‘You take me instead, do you hear me? Give her back and take me instead!’
Held onto those words wound tight, as if you could weave them between your fingers from it’s vibrations, pull the static itself and wear it as brass knuckles.
Endless days of pain, stripped of your sanity, stripped to the marrow of nothingness. Girlflesh licked and bit at, one eye swollen shut, and upper lip plumped to a ripe bruise.
Split knuckles, torn and raw. Calculated blows bled to feral clawing, and biting, punches earning cherry stained ivories. Pinned to the cold floor by your wrists, and ankles by filthy palms, multiple men snickering in German, as they hovered over you, thrusting as swine.
Locked away to rot, no sunlight, no fresh air, only the stale scent of your urine, and … other bodily fluids. Every few hours, another agent came, and beat your weakened state.
It was hell.
Time was nothing but imagination.
Until finally, yells and gunfire erupted from the outside. A man’s skull smashed against the door, bursting the metal door wide open.
Light surrounded his blonde tresses as a halo. Towering over you, with soft hands.
He gently held your body, causing you to shrill in agony. Steve silently cried over you, whispering ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ under his breath, pleading for forgiveness for every wail that seeped from you.
Steve held you all through the ride on the jet. Friday’s monitors checking over your vitals, and not even blinking away.
Once the doctors at the compound told him the extent of your injuries, and what was found inside of you. He nearly broke into a rampage that only settled with Bucky tackling him into a bear hug.
The mental scars weren’t healing. You felt pathetic, and weak. You never lost control.
Tiresome training that stretched itself through hours, day after day, demanding for the most brutal discipline from Natasha. Demanding for more and more, barely any water breaks—- for a moment to breathe.
Compulsive need to feel the pain, to bare your teeth in reaction, triggering fear which led to lashing out and screaming—- and a concerned Natasha.
Eventually, this habit led to a halt with a towering Natasha hissing, enough . Her green eyes lidded, with concern. Hands at the jut of her hips.
“Replacing the grief with aggression, isn’t going to fix it.”
“How would you know? You’re the world’s deadliest woman.” You snarked back, monotone and sarcastic.
A pregnant silence.
“I wasn’t always.”
Her tone is soft, and speaks with an unspoken feeling. You understood, but didn’t dare ask. Ending the conversation at that.
And it was never brought up again.
-
Sex only brought revulsion, not towards Steve. But towards yourself, all you saw was ugliness. A mere touch brought you back to that dark cell.
Vices became familiar habits again, smoking, and rarely eating.
Every-time he touched you, you cried. Bawled as a child, hysterically. Hyperventilating as all he can do is watch, and guide you through it, just like the therapist instructed.
Days not spent on training, are held up in your bedroom, blankly staring up at the ceiling, tailbone aching from oversleeping.
The waves of stress crash against the strong willed ship that is your marriage. Irritated to even talk, disconnected from everyone, every mirror has been smashed.
Now you lay here, in the dark.
From the corner of your oculus, faintly in the crevices of your mind, there is an inky black mass—— just staring, always near.
And yet, somehow, you’re convinced that it’s real, that you must respond to the plaguing thoughts; but the body doesn’t recognize false visions, only fear.
The bedroom door quietly opens. Taking most of the entrances' space, divine shoulders squared, and those knowing blue pools with murky green swirls.
Coiffed blonde hair, and tender blue eyes. A nose that rivals a roman god, a man that would be mounted in a church, the face of a saint.
Your saint.
Century old eyes that seen more than it can bear, ever so knowing. Perhaps, he heard your thoughts, and came to your aid.
His footsteps dull against the carpet, gently coming towards you. His hand hesitatingly stretches out, unaware if touch is right.
But you yearn for it, silently asking for comfort.
Gently his hand lays on your chest, circular rubs to soothe the haggard breathing. Shooing away the bad thoughts as a mother would.
“Deep breaths.” Steve says, “It’s okay.” Filling your chest with gusts of air, being guided by his voice, with the lulling twang of that Brooklyn accent.
You want to break through the fog. You yearn to heal these angry wounds.
Watery sigh escapes you, eyes never leaving the ceiling, and for a fleeting moment, you wish you died in the cell. Then maybe, you wouldn’t subject your husband—-
“Mama?”
—- and your daughter to your troubles.
A creek at the door is followed by small footsteps. Her small body shuffles and ruffles on the blanket at the edge of the bed, quickly lifted by Steve by her belly.
Steve gently shushes her, a reminder saying, ‘be careful, remember, mommy isn’t well’. Soft snuffles, and grunts follow with each tug of the blanket, and your legs as support.
Climbing over your body, your daughter’s little chubby hands dents onto the flesh of your body. Slowly the black mass evaporates, its suffocating presence dissipates into nothing.
As a fog clears from your mind, and a small smile forms at the corner of your mouth. Steve smiles a little, his hand caressing her little head.
“Mama, are you okay?” Her baby voice lulls you, and brings tears to your eyes. “Yeah,” your voice raspy, “Mama’s okay.” Nodding weakly.
What was it your therapist said, again?
‘There’s always light at the tunnel. You just have to find it.’
Her little cherub brown cheeks puffed, and plump. Ripe for kisses. Her little fingers toying with your face.
‘And if that light isn’t your husband,’
Your eyes gaze up at Steve, love emitting from his blue hues. Your weak hand shakingly moves to his cheek, he leans into your touch, closing his eyes.
‘Then I’m damn sure, it’s your little girl.’
Slowly, your eyes sheen wet at the brim, looking at such innocence. Untainted, and pure. Life doesn’t end, it just changes, like the seasons. Some good, and some bad.
‘You don’t have to heal today, and I don’t expect you to heal tomorrow. But remember what we have created. She’s so much more than us.’ Steve’s words from therapy ring in your mind.
It doesn’t end.
“I love you, mama.”
You inhale a watery breath, smiling from ear to ear. A relief curling in your chest.
“I love you too, my little bubble.”
#widowsofchaos wrote this#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x reader angst#drabble#Alexa! play let the light in by Lana Del Rey
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I love to hate on fanon Tony interpretations please tell me more about what u disagree on. Cuz literally, what's all that about lmao
Oh boy where do i start!
I think my favourite/s fanon tony stark interpretation is the one where he's just a straight up fascist because he (checks notes) wanted to have superheroes regulated through international law like WMDs are. And how apparently, this means he wants everybody under the thumb of the state. I know this is the no reading comprehension website but cmon guys, are we forgetting that his entire character arc was about realizing that the weapons' manufacturer that made him rich had ripple effects? Are you really surprised that the guy who saw firsthand the realities of modern warfare and what those weapons do to people was particularly hyper-aware of the collateral damage the Avengers caused, accidental or otherwise, and lobbied to keep them in check with international law? And how in the fuck does that equal "he wants to take away everybody's liberties under the state!!"???
Another thing that grinds my gears is when people act like Tony attacking Bucky was this wholly evil action, as if he didn't just find out that the man who killed his parents (who he already had a deeply complicated relationship with) was standing right in front of him being defended by a man who he thought was his friend only to abandon him the second their personal politics didn't line up on one issue. Don't get me wrong, I also think Steve Rogers is someone who is similarly misinterpreted and I understand his actions in the context of his character, but jesus christ guys, do you seriously think he was the good guy there? Do you really think Tony should have just gone "oh you're harboring the international fugitive who, as far as I know right now, slaughters innocents for the soviets and murdered my parents, thereby being the direct reason I grew up without my complicated trauma surrounding them ever being resolved? After posturing at me for the last two hours about how everything I think is wrong and creating an irreparable fissure between me and the only real friends I ever had? And you never told me you knew, when you knew all this time? Well thats okay then! I forgive you!"
And i have to throw an honourable mention to "it's problematic to like rich people!!" well i hate to break this to you but tony stark is in fact Not Real
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Be their roommate
Pairing: Steve Rogers/female chubby reader
warning: female chubby reader,soft dark Steve rogers, modern au, implied smut（only mention）
English is not my first language.
Steve Rogers
At first, you assumed that he'd feel uncomfortable. He's a cat person, you respect his nature.
But he welcomed you with his whole heart, you could feel it.
Share the household and groceries, he knows you don't know how to cook so he takes responsibility. And he slowly teaches you but it's another story.
He wakes up early, prepares both your breakfast and brings his art tools to the outside after he finishes his one.
When he's back, he'll bring you a fresh flower and his drawing. No matter the weather whether it's a weekday or weekend. Unless the flower shop doesn't open that day, then he'll change his portrait with your neighbor's flower.
He'd blush so hard every time he sees you not wearing a bra, just a loose shirt, and shorts. And I mean it, he blushes every·single·time, but he knows that means you trust him, and you could be yourself when you are around him. He loves it while he must remind himself Don't stare at your titties. You don't know what you did to this poor baby. 😌😌
If you're home late, after 7 p.m., he'll walk you home. “I can't let a stunning young dame walking alone in the dark street. It's not safe.” He said while giving you a small and warm smile.
Laundry day is your favorite day, his laundry detergents are Petitgrain and lavender. Yours are ylang-ylang. Until one day, you mistake the detergent, and your clothes have its scent for a week.
“You know, it smells good. And it's warm. I can use the same one when mine is empty?” He parted his lips but couldn't say anything, but now you will use the same laundry detergents at least for sure.
When you fell asleep on your cozy couch, he'd put his blanket over your body and kiss your forehead.
“Have a good dream, mon amour.”
Not a lot changed after he got the serum. But he'll do more things for you.
Now you only have to carry some large and light stuff, and that’s what you insist that you won’t let him carry all the groceries!
“Steve, I’m not that weak. You know that and we both agree to share the responsibility. It’s won't change even when you accept the serum!” You nearly screamed at him
“But…but you said that you’ve never met a man help you carry a heavy thing. And you always helped carry the heavy one when I was weak. I think it’s time for me to do this thing for you. I want to treat you like you want and deserve. I’m not disrespecting you, doll. I’m sorry.”
Who would keep angry at him when he says those sweet words and looks sad!? It’s illegal!
When he starts to re-acknowledge his strength and new body, he breaks down so many things. Doors, drawers, fridges… every time you see his innocent but guilty eyes, always remind you of a golden retriever dog that breaks something accidentally.
You forgive him as always. First, he'll pay for those damages, and he even started to learn how to repair them. Second, you could sympathize with his uncontrolled body when you cross the aisles and knock things down with your butt. He still forgave you and said that’s not a big deal. Now, it’s your turn to comfort him.
When you see him, you start to wonder what would happen if you needed to move out and find another roommate.
He's freaking out. He can't expect that you'll try to leave him when he becomes stronger and much better.
Until you explain to him, you're a little bit afraid of the tall and beefy men. It's all because of your father. And you think he might want to have a relationship after he has a new and more attractive body. Then you don't want to be the third wheel and make his future partner insecure about you two.
“No doll, no other person can change our relationship. I promise you.” He objects to your thoughts and vows to NEVER abandon you.
“Alright, Steve. If you have a girlfriend, please tell me so that I can prepare to pack up, okay?”
Again, he swallowed and nodded. When you pat his abs and admire his new body, you can feel his intense eyes and his arms around your waist...
If you look up, you could see his ocean blue eyes darken. And the possessive on his face.
Oh, girl, you are treated like a goddess, lived in the castle on the clouds.
He spoils you, everything you want, you get it. He won’t hesitate to offer you; he is proud of that.
“Steve, if you keep spoiling me, don’t you afraid that I’ll use you for my own greed?”⸺You try to joke with him.
He raised his eyebrow and kept waxing the wood while he answers your teasing
“Oh yeah? So how to explain that you cried and refused to accept the cheesecake and the dress I bought for you?”
“That’s because you know I’m intake of sugar, but you still buy those for me when I just whining! I want those but I don’t need them!... God, now I sound like a baby.”
“Well, you are.” He started to combine the woods, your eyes couldn’t stop trailing down his fingers, wrist, and muscles. Your mouth-watering, but you frown after you realized what he said.
Does he think you’ve become shallow and annoyed? Or does he think that you cost his money too much? You should know that’s a lie when he said you don’t need to pay back.
Lead swells in your heart and hot tears in your eyes. Biting your lips as you tried to hold your sob back. You didn’t notice that he was staring down at you. Until his big and warm handheld your jaw to lift your head up, the tears blurred your sight, and a tear rolled down your cheek.
His thumbs weep your tears and stroke your wet cheeks, his voice was tender, deep, and smooth.
“Doll, you are my cry baby and my golden apple, I’d never get enough of you. You don’t know what you’ve done to me.”
His words confused you, and there were butterflies on your chest and stomach now.
“What are you trying to say?”
He stepped closer, now your chest touched, and you were holding your breath.
“I’m head over heels in love with you.”
“How could you love me? I’m not attractive like Carter cousins or Natasha, and I do not have any superpower like Wanda.”
He pressed his forehead against yours, then he smiled
“Yes, you have. Always encourage people, and believed them even when they didn’t believe themselves. Remember our first dance on the 4th of July? You said that’s probably your first and last dance because I’m the last person in this world who would want to dance with you.”
“I remember that. That’s emotional blackmail and I’m sorry, Steve.”
He chuckled as he kissed your nose, his arms wrapped around your waist, and rested his hands on your low back.
“Actually, I’m half glad about that. You don’t know how many of my colleagues asked me about you. You don’t know those pricks I fight because they stared at you.”
“Really? But I don’t want their attention. I don’t like them nor care about them.”
“I know, I told you that you’re mine. And I mean it, doll.” He kissed the crown of your head.
“So…we’re a couple now?”
“We always are.”
Bonus:
“Are you the soft dark type, Steve?” It’s a stormy night, Steve and you are now in the big spoon position. He lays his head on your stomach, his hands are massaging your breasts.
“Still no bra? What a naughty girl.”
“Hey! You know those lingeries always itches my skin. Besides, it really feels free when there’s not a thing tucked under your tits.”
“Not complained at all.” He murmurs while burying his face in your tummy, fingers kneading your soft flesh. His touch sends a shiver down your spine and heats up your body.
“Back to the topic, do you think that you’re a soft dark type?”
“What’s a soft dark type?”
“Um…it’s hard to say, but I think if you could love a person crazy enough to want to lock your lover away and keeps them to yourself for all eternity, but you resist the urge because you know they need their freedom and you respect them. Then you’re a soft dark type to me.”
“...I think I am.”
“Oh, I’m not that surprised.”
“Aren’t you? Will you be afraid of me because I’m the type?”
“Not at all! In fact, I quite love this personal trait, plus, you respect me. cherish me and love me. And I love you! I don’t want to lose because someone thinks that’s ‘sick' or something.”
Steve doesn’t say anything, he lifted your shirt over your tummy and trails his kiss up to your lips.
“Steve.” You mewl
“I want to say thank you, doll. Let me take care of you.” His dark blue eyes shone in the dim light.
When you sleep soundly in his arms, he starts to reminisce about the old days of chasing those suitors away from you.
He’s fallen in love with you before he accepted the serum, you’re considerate, warm, and friendly. Your shyness and the fear of all men who are tall and muscular gave him a chance to be close to you, it’s not a fair game in the beginning.
You’d greet him every morning and evening, praise his artworks, and encourage him to chase his dream. When he was self-doubt himself, you compliment his hair, his eyes, and his hands.
Your hair is just like the sunshine, and your eyes recall me of the sea color of the Caribbean Sea. I also admire your hands, they’re talented, slender, and beautiful. You’re breathtaking, Stevie.
He still remembers the feelings about flowers blossoming in his heart and the drunk feeling.
Speaking of the soft dark type, he did do several measures to make sure no one could steal you away from him. Convinced you moved in just the first step, keeping bringing you flowers and sharing the household, that’s all to claim you his mark. After he got the strength to protect you, the training time became the time that he teaches those agents and soldiers to not touch what is his.
As time flies, the deep thought about spoiling you started to scream to him. Those old memories about you having to save money for rent and need. The envious sight you gave to a delicate fountain pen when you dropped by a shop left a vivid impression on his mind.
You’re like the forbidden fruit, teaches him how to love, how the feeling to be loved, cherished, adored by someone.
You’ve devoted yourself to him, your youth and soul, it’s time to repay you, with his body and soul.
He strokes your hair and lets your breath lull him into sleep.
“Doll, I love you till the sun dies. And I’d be your sun.”
The end
A/N: Again, muse has her own thots and I😳😌💖📃 But I feel so satisfied with I finished Steve's headcannon（？）I bet you will notice I love someone more than others🤣🤣
#1000night masterlist#fuck you endgame steve#steve rogers x female chubby reader#steve rogers x female reader#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#be your roommate series
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Nes, please forgive me for this🙏🙏🙏
This came randomly to me, and I know I just have to write it down for you🙏🙏🙏
So, please forgive me for this sin🙏🙏🙏
(POV: alternative verse, Instead of jason, banshee!reader's the one who'd been gone during the snap, tony never got to know his daughter the same way in main verse)
.
..
...
Jason woke up abruptly in the midst of a rainstorm.
His eyes blinked, waited and strained as if he's looking for an opening.
He left his room, dragging his weightless body across the small hallway that felt smaller as ever.
A single lamp glowed dimly in the gloom.
He knocked over the door, and even though he knew as much as he would deny it over and over again, he would never hear your voice again, he still knocked.
It's the promise that you and him counted.
He walked in and immediately fallen to the ground.
The ring on his neck now felt like a joke. It's only been a few months since you became his wife. And now...
He fucking wished you're still alive.
He would smash everything in this flat you called home hadn't most of the items laying around were made by you and your gifted creativity.
Even the ring.
Silver, cool to the touch, with the initial of your name little crafted within his while his within yours.
What were you thinking when you're making these rings?
He'd never know.
It's supposed to be a joke. A treat of a cup of coffee was something so random that it couldn't be another chance for another pure encounter.
But it did. You walked up to him, proposed to him, and he (in his disbelief) kissed you.
You wore a white dress you bought on spot from Zara, he wore a black suit an old man gave him after learning they were getting married, both of you kissed and vowed each in a church that was luckily saved from being abandoned after their marriage.
He would visited you then every Friday, and this was the day you'd push aside your creativity, letting him crowned you as he spoiled you with no end.
He just like you. That's what he told himself.
But after watching your breakdowns, your tight grips on him as you told him your secret, and he immediately thought 'screw it'?
He knew fuck well he's deep in love with you, just as you.
Now, as he looked at your room...
He couldn't see it the same way again.
He eyes finally lay upon the frame of picture.
There's he, draping an arm around your shoulders.
He flipped the frame down as he struggled to leave your room.
——
The Avengers Compound reminded him of the Justice League Watchtower.
And there's Tony Stark the Iron Man, Steve Rogers a.k.a Captain America, with their constantly bickering.
Worse, there's now Bruce. So, the three of them then.
He eyes focused on the snowfall of the month, there's a faint glint of green glow beyond as he tuned the voices out.
Still, he isn't startled when he felt someone next to him.
Instead, he hoped this day wouldn't ever come.
Without the red armor, Tony Stark seemed like a man to him. An ordinary businessman who's a bit more cunning.
But now, he sounded more like a distant fatherly figure, trying to understand the daughter he never get to know.
"What is she like?"
All his thoughts blanked for a moment. Before he realized that he wasn't thinking straight, Jason took out your ring.
"She's not confident, but she's tough enough to herself."
It's true. You weren't much confident about yourself, but you'd always pushed yourself to the end, with a little shy fairness of smile across your lips.
"She has your eyes. Even though they're more faint, and a bit of moss green."
Your eyes were beautiful, maybe that's why his heart was captivated when he first saw you, along with those short yet messy hair, and jeans.
"She doesn't play by rules."
Not that you particularly wanted to break them, you just don't conform it. You never do.
"She's shy to strangers, and perfectly polite."
He noticed you somehow always managed to maintain an untouchable and unreadable distance whenever you went on to one of those gatherings with him.
It's funny, to think how someone can be both frustrating and absolutely alluring in equal measure to a room of fucking nonsense and wines.
"She's free and cautious."
You let yourself run wild each day, never stop a moment.
"She's my wife. Even though we never registered."
Jason looked up at Tony, and he asked:
"She's the last of her kind as well — the Banshees."
Would you protect her like I do? From anyone?
The question lied underneath doesn't have to be asked.
Tony looked at him, and for a moment, Jason sees you.
"I would. If she allows me to know her."
"That's..."
You would like that. He know damn well you will.
"Please," Jason rolled his eyes, smirking.
"The only reason she ever bought that airfryer, is because it came with an Iron Man puzzle gift set."
...
..
.
(Woo, it's been long since I last written this long... Anyway & by all means, consider this an early Christian gift from me to ya, Nes～🫂❤️🎁
- long-anon)
I don't know how the fudge I missed it.
THANK YOU!!!
wonderful as always!
Merry christmas if you celebrate!
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Author Spotlight: AvocadoLove
AvocadoLove is an author I’ve been following since Civil War came out, and all of their AU’s are amazing and I’ve just fallen in love with them. So here is a list of my favorites! Some of these you may recognize from my Marvel rec, but there's a couple new ones here as well!
Sins of the Father
By: AvocadoLove
https://archiveofourown.org/works/4638750
Summary: Tony’s practically become an old hat at being taken hostage, but something’s fishier than usual this time around; his captor looks twenty-eight but claims to know Howard Stark, the NYPD negotiator is a SHIELD plant, and what’s this about a fleet of helicarriers set to launch?
My Comments: I’ve been reading a lot of Avocado Love’s work lately, and ended up finding this little gem. This is a pretty good read and I like the twist they put on Howard. I would highly recommend it!!!
Status: Complete
Length: 11,196 words
Tempest in a Teapot
By: AvocadoLove
https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167506
Summary: Or how Bucky watches his best friend die in his place, wakes up seventy years in the future, takes up Captain America’s shield, joins a group of superheroes, and finally begins the process of forgiving himself.
My Comments: God, do I love this fic!! This fic is basically Steve falling instead of Bucky, which I know there are a lot of, but I think that Avocado Love pulled it off the best. Mainly because it doesn’t just follow the movies, it sort of deviates a bit from them. The only movie it kind of follows is the first Avengers movie, then it sort of takes off on it’s own, which I found I really liked. This fic did end on a bit of a cliff hanger, which Avocado Love does a lot. I wish there was a sequel to it, but I doubt we’ll be getting one. This is cross-posted on ff.net, so I’ll link that down below.
Status: Complete
Length: 30,742 words
Ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10179831/1/Tempest-In-A-Teapot
All the Leaves are Brown (And the Sky is Gray)
By: AvocadoLove
https://archiveofourown.org/works/1609838
Summary: The Winter Soldier’s mission is nearly complete. Howard and Maria Stark are dead, leaving him to dispatch their four-year-old child. One quick twist of the neck is all it will take, but the Soldier finds he cannot do it. So instead of killing Tony Stark, the Winter Soldier takes him away to raise as his own.
My Comments: This was the first Bucky-Raises-Tony fic I read. This is an AU that I would have never thought of, and didn’t realize how much I needed it! I highly recommend this fic, it is just amazing. I love Bucky and Tony’s relationship, and the ending is just awesome. Highly recommend this fic! This fic is cross-posted on ff.net as well. And has also been translated into Russian, Korean, and Chinese. There’s also a podfic for it, and some fanart. Not to mention the fan made sequel. I will link it all down below.
Status: Complete
Length: 17,424 words
Fan Sequel (By Bluandorange):
https://archiveofourown.org/works/1669841
Ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10597136/1/All-The-Leaves-Are-Brown-And-the-sky-is-gray
Podfic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465407
Fanart: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6194362
Russian Translation: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5203325
Chinese Translation: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1805950
Korean Translation: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12744126
On Such A Winter’s Day
By: AvocadoLove
https://archiveofourown.org/works/1801651
Summary: Forty years after bringing the plane down into the arctic, Steve Rogers wakes up to find a man, code named Winter Soldier, has killed Howard Stark and kidnapped his four year old son. Steve’s mission to bring Tony home gets… complicated.
My Comments: This is an AU of All the Leaves are Brown, written by the same author. I have to say I love this fic, and the relationship between Steve and Bucky is awesome. Not to mention Tony’s relationship with them is just adorable. I do believe it’s abandoned because it was last updated in 2016, which is a shame because it did leave off at a cliffhanger. But I would still recommend reading this, because it will leave you aching for more.
Status: Incomplete
Last Update: 1/11/16
Length: 26,317 words
Prisoner’s Dilemma
By: AvocadoLove
https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113925
Summary: After taking the airplane down in the Arctic, Steve wakes to find himself imprisoned as a human test subject. With no idea where in the world he is, his only ally is a fast-talking inventor in the cell next door. Something’s off about Tony that Steve can’t put his finger on, and it’s obvious Tony doesn’t fully trust him either. But to escape they may not have a choice.
My Comments: This is a pretty amazing fic. The basic idea is what if Steve was recovered by Obadiah Stane instead of Shield. I love how Tony and Steve bond through what they are going through. I love the premise of this fic, and desperately wish there was a sequel, although I do think it left off at a good stopping point. I highly recommend this fic!!
Status: Complete
Length: 15,696 words
Ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10034331/1/Prisoner-s-Dilemma
Enemy at the Gates
By: AvocadoLove
https://archiveofourown.org/works/6995824
Summary: By the time Captain America was found and defrosted, the Chitauri had wiped out the entire state of New York, and Iron Man was the world’s most wanted villain.
My Comments: This is a really good AU. I love the idea of Iron Man being Tony’s secret identity, and being wanted by the government and being hunted by Shield (and Steve). I really love this AU and would like to see more fics like this.
Status: Complete
Length: 23,209 words
#Tony Stark#Steve Rogers#Bucky Barnes#Fanfiction#Marvel#MCU#Mcu fanfiction#marvel fanfiction#fanfiction rec
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People be like "why'd you stop loving Marvel? They have so many shows and stuff you should be in eternal heaven."
Sweetie, Endgame was HORRIBLE and I will never forgive them. Bucky? Jilted at the altar of friendship. Somehow Steve went back in time and married Peggy??? And voluntarily allowed his best goddamn friend in the whole fucking world TO JUST ROT IN HYDRA HANDS??? WILLINGLY IGNORED??? Steve Rogers? The dude who literally almost overthrew the entire espionage branch of the fictional American government to save a brainwashed and traumatized Bucky Barnes who didn't even know his own name???? That man??????? And I mean, what about Howard? Are you telling me he willingly let Howard Stark get assassinated by his brainwashed murder machine best friend?
And like, really Steve? You left Sam the shield but you didn't inform him of EVERYTHING ELSE? Help him train up before you fucked off to the past? Maybe give him some really helpful pointers in how to HELP AND COMFORT THE BEST FRIEND YOU FUCKING ABANDONED IN THE PRESENT????? Seriously Sam had to put up with all sorts of shit because of your dumb shit.
There was other stuff too about Endgame that pissed me off or I didn't like but THE ENTIRE THING WITH BUCKY, STEVE, AND SAM absolutely boggled my mind and fucked with me personally.
Literally the only post-Endgame film I consciously went to the theaters to see was Spider Man No Way Home because I wanted the bizarre nostalgia of seeing Andrew Garfield reprise his role. Das it.
So yeah actually I didn't stop loving Marvel, I just stopped loving the film and TV media for it.
#marvel#im sorry but#that movie ruined the entire TV-Movie franchise of Marvel for me#im a comic exclusive bitch again#mcu#marvel cinematic universe
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Bucky hiding his pain until Steve isn’t looking
#I woke up this morning and chose violence#steve rogers#bucky barnes#stucky#marveledit#endgame#catfa#my edit#steve rogers abandoned this man and I’m never forgiving him
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𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲
𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍
𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || Steve’s life takes a quantum leap when he finds you unconscious on the beach.
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || ANGST (with a happy ending)
This is the second part of six feet under.
I know I broke your hearts, so here comes the second part to mend it! I hope you love this!
“You are my mission.”
Steve felt as if the walls of his heart were pricked by a thousand needles. It ached too much for him to bear. Unable to look in your eyes, he cried in his own palms.
The Asset wasn’t built to show emotions, but you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at the picture in front of you; your mission had just dropped down on his knees and was pathetically sobbing.
Why wasn’t your target fighting. You were informed that he was great at hand combat but not really outstanding with guns. So why wasn’t he attacking you as expected. Why was he showing you his back in surrender?
You were told what to do if the mission fought. But you weren’t informed what to do if he just... surrendered.
Walking close to your mission where he was crouching down, you stared at him for a moment. You weren’t wearing your combat gear, and neither was he. You both were instead dressed in far from modest clothes.
You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t bring yourself to harm him in any way. With the way he was trusting you, you could’ve killed him within seconds. But yet your heart somehow ached at his situation.
When he didn’t even look up, you nudged his thigh with your left foot. When your mission finally looked up, his eyes were bloodshot and he was incessantly crying.
“Fight me.” You said as he just stared at you. Your blank gaze terrified Steve more than any alien or villain ever had. You didn’t know why, but you wanted him to fight you. You weren’t able to attack him if he just gave up.
Steve blinked his eyes as he took in your words. Why weren’t you killing him? He had surrendered to you and yet you were just looking back at him instead of fighting. Why did you want him to fight you?
“No.” Steve had never thought love would be his weakness. Or maybe he had never truly realised it. Steve loved Bucky as a friend and had rained hell when his friend was in danger.
And here he had signed off his soul in your name. He would literally bring you the moon and stars if you asked to. And he would bare his throat for you to slash through. But he couldn’t possibly ever hurt you.
“I said fight me.” Steve Rogers, your mission was supposed to fight you. Not just sit down and take whatever you gave him. You didn’t know why you were angry at his lack of self preservation.
What happened next was within the blink of an eye. Steve’s arm shot up and curled around your wrist. And with a quick pull, he pulled your entire body down.
His agility took you by shock and before you could react, you were down on the ground pressed against the floor with him straddling you. Taking both of your hands in his, he pinned them above your head, making sure you were immobile.
You were royally fucked. Your handlers wouldn’t take it lightly if you messed up. And that was if you reached them in one piece. Chances were you were gonna die here, right under Steve Rogers.
You opened your mouth to bite and hiss and Steve took the opportunity and dove right in. You stilled with surprise when you felt the captain’s plump lips right against yours. This man was super insane.
You mercilessly but his lower lip and ended up drawing blood. But as soon as he started licking in your mouth with his tongue, you melted right on the spot.
The warmth of his mouth slowly brought back the warmth of your memories. Steve felt you go pliant under him for some moments before you started fiercely kissing him back.
You entwined your fingers with his and gently pressed your tongue against the bite mark on his lips. You didn’t notice the tears that slipped through your eyes and how they mixed with Steve’s own tears falling against your face.
“Steve.” You called his name just like you always did. With love and belonging. He opened his eyes to see you staring right back at him with your lively eyes.
Steve had never been happier before. Pressing his forehead against yours, he just breathed you in for a moment. “Steve.” Your hand was now caressing his face.
Your eyes peering into each other were enough to convey the million thoughts you had and the thousand things you wanted to say. Pressing a loving kiss to your forehead, he got up and you followed him.
You both sat on the floor with your legs crossed, you kept some space between you two. “I’m… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Steve repeated as he broke down once again.
You hushed him and held him in your arms until he calmed down. “I shouldn’t have done that, but… but I wanted to know.” Steve couldn’t ever forget how your face had morphed into that of betrayal as he recited the words.
“But I want to know one thing. Do you love me? Or… or is it some tactic of hydra to ruin me?” You wanted to slap Steve for asking this stupid ass question. Of course you loved him!
But then you realised where he was emotionally. If you were in his position then maybe even you would fear the same. “It’s real Steve. It’s definitely real.”
You framed his face with your hands and caressed your thumb over his cheeks. “Steve, I love you. And by ‘I’, I mean Y/N and Soldat. My soul belongs to you, no matter it’s name.
How can you doubt our love when it was the only thing that brought me back?” It was true, you wouldn’t have remembered anything if Steve hadn’t kissed you.
You could see the colour fill in Steve’s face. He pulled you in a bear hug and held you tight. “I love you. I love you.” Steve chanted in your ear just like before.
Once you were both calm enough to think straight, you decided to go out on the beach. You sat in the sand with your head tilted on Steve’s shoulder as the sea breeze kissed your wet cheeks.
“I barely remember who I was before all this Steve. I can only remember glimpses of the shield and the avengers. I’m no more the Y/N you once saw.”
Steve was silent as he listened to each and every word of yours. He wanted to say so many things back, but he knew he had to listen to you first.
“But I remember how they took me Steve. It was probably my third official shield mission and we had all thought that base was not active. But when we broke in, the operatives were waiting just for us.
It was trap and we fell willingly into it. The others managed to escape, but… but I couldn’t. And they took me Steve. I… I waited for you people.
I still remember shivering in that cold cell all alone, praying for you to find me. But you never came. And with time I just kept forgetting until I couldn’t remember anymore.” Your voice cracked yet you kept going.
“Even after you retired, you still were hydra’s number one target. It’s almost personal now. It took them some time, but they finally traced you and they knew you were alone.
I was supposed to use a boat as long as I was out of visibility and then swim till the shore so that you wouldn’t notice me. But I miscalculated the current and the rocks on the shore.
After I abandoned my boat, I jumped into the water and got caught in the water currents. It was a terrifying experience, just spinning wildly underwater as the water took you.
But I was oddly at peace as I thought finally I would be free. But then I hit my head on the rocks and got washed up. And I woke up remembering absolutely nothing in your warm bed.”
“I’m sorry.” Steve couldn’t ever forgive himself for all that had happened to you. He was sure shield must have tried their best, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty.
“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sure they must’ve tried.” You both sat quietly staring at the calm ocean which reflected the night sky.
“Do you still love me?” You asked with a dejected sigh. “I’ll always love you.” Steve replied pulling you closer. “Even after knowing who I am and what I was here for?”
“You could’ve easily completed your mission. I know you are capable enough of doing that. But, you did not. You couldn’t harm me even when I openly surrendered to you.
So yes, I still very much love you and I’ll stay by your side forever.” The last word pierced through your heart like a knife. You couldn’t give him what he wanted.
“Steve, I… I have to go.” Steve looked at you quizzically. “Where?” You gulped audibly before meekly replying, “Hydra.” You could feel his body tense.
“You aren’t going back there, no matter what.” You wanted to believe Steve’s words, but you knew that couldn’t happen.
“I’ve tried to run away. So many times. But they always find me. They’ll find me this time too. And if they find me, they’ll find you too and I can’t let that happen.
I won’t be able to live if something happened to you. I’ll never forgive myself. And that’s why I need to go.” If this sacrifice was going to keep Steve safe, then so be it.
“Nothing will happen to me. And if they come, we will fight them. Together. And nothing and no one can stop us if we are with each other. Stay with me, please!”
You kissed his cheek to stop him from pleading anymore. You couldn’t tolerate the man you loved begging you. “I’ll… I’ll stay with you. I promise.”
Steve hugged you so tight, you wondered if you broke some bones. But being in the arms of the man who loved you, felt better than heaven itself. It was a different kind of a feeling, one that no words could ever describe.
“Steve, what do you think about Paris? I’ve always wanted to go there.” You asked as you both sat silently on the beach, basking in each other’s presence.
“I’ve always thought about visiting Louvre too. But I never really got the chance.” Even as a sickly kid, Steve wanted to get mesmerised by the art in the famous museum.
“And what about Sydney? Or Amsterdam? Or Barcelona?” Your eyes lit up like an excited kid. “What about all of them?” Steve jested.
Steve wanted to travel the world too. In a sense he already had, but it was always for some mission and never for the sake of relaxation. “Yeah, we could do that!” You exclaimed as if the thought hadn’t occurred to you.
It would be a new beginning for both of you. A new life away from your tainted past. A fresh canvas to paint with the colours of your own choice. A much needed restart that both you and Steve needed.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s pack our bags!”
#did you like it?#marvel#steve rogers#mcu#steve rogers x you#steve rogers x reader#chris evans#steve rogers x y/n#chris evans x reader#steve rogers smut#chris evans smut#steve rogers one shot#nomad steve rogers#steve rogers fanfiction
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I Don't Wanna Be a Memory
Summary:
“Well, I’m not just your boss!”, Steve hears himself say, “I’m not just your boss. I’m also an omega. And I want you to tell me what to do. Your voice is like it’s permanently in alpha command, and I want you to fucking command me! Because I’m not just your boss. I’m not just an omega. I’m your fucking omega! And I can’t stand you saying my name like you’re seconds away from telling me to get down on my knees because you never do!
And it isn’t your fault! It’s not! You don’t want me anymore, and that’s fine, but my omega hasn’t forgotten, and my heart won’t forgive you for not loving me anymore. So stop. Stop saying my name like you still want me. Because every time you do, I feel like you’ve come back to me, but you haven’t- you won’t! And it’s killing me, Buck.”
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33385405
Rating: Explicit
Ship: James 'Bucky' Barnes/Steve Rogers
Additional tags: A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha bucky!, Omega Steve!
Bucky’s voice is the single most dangerous weapon he possesses.
Not the guns, or the knives, or even the years of government-issued muscle memory in hand-to-hand combat could compare the carnage that rubbles and quakes the earth when he says Steve's name.
“Stevie,” Low and silky. Full of authority-full of alpha. But still understanding the difference in rank despite the apparent superiority in designation. Never challenging or speaking down, but fuck did it make Steve want to sink to his knees and watch Bucky fall apart due to his mouth for a change.
“Steve?”
Okay, maybe not the entire earth, but Steve’s world sure feels like it’s been turned on its axis.
“...Steve.”
The worst part of it all is Bucky has no idea. No clue. No motivation! He simply exists and speaks like that with no intention of letting his voice get all severe and appetizing for the purpose of getting Steve’s omega excited for Bucky's alpha.
It’s especially distracting during missions.
Steve’s heart races, his conscious thought nowhere to be found as he conjures up impossible scenarios involving his reformed assassin best friend and naked cuddling.
The second they boarded the Quinjet, Steve had torn the earpiece away as if it had burned him.
Can you imagine leading a team or keeping them safe when every so often your second in command asks for your position, voice rough as he asks Steve for orders?!
Can anyone really blame him for getting lost in the phantom sensations of Bucky saying his name like a secret no one else deserves to know?
He didn’t think so.
That being said, all the control he can muster in order to actually complete a mission evaporates into the wind the moment the dance between life and death comes to a close; every suppressed, shameless fantasy unleashed and unforgiving as they consume his every thought.
Steve is abruptly pulled from his most recent daydream when a cool metal hand taps the back of his wrist twice, “You with us, Steve? I’ve been calling your name for a minute now.”
Quickly, Steve straightens his back and squares his shoulders, meeting stormy grey eyes.
“Sorry, Buck. Had a lot on my mind.”, He says with more confidence than he actually has.
It’s not really a lie. He does have a lot on his mind, all the ways he can find himself face down, ass up on the other man’s bed. Drooling and crying and breathing in Buckys scent with every breath he takes.
Of course, he can’t very well say that, can he?
He was lucky the S.H.I.E.L.D issued, super soldier approved suppressants made him nearly null. He can’t fathom the level of embarrassment that would claim him if Buck- or the whole damn plane for that matter- could scent the desperation, horny inside of him.
Bucky shifts closer, grey eyes softening the tiniest bit with concern, “Is everything alright?”
No.
“Yes, of course, “ He lies, “Just thinking about battle techniques is all. Scouts honor!” Steve makes an odd, incorrect gesture as a mock salute.
Bucky allows a small huff of air Steve recognizes as his poor imitation of a chuckle. There’s a moment of fuzzy pride that nearly causes Steve to purr; happy he brought a smile to the alpha’s face before his stomach drops clear down to his toes as murmured laughter rumbles too close to a growl in Buckys chest.
“My memory may be shit, Stevie, but I know for damn sure you weren’t no boy scout.”
Aaaand there it is.
Stevie.
Steves omega stirs and preens before the captain shoves them back down. Resenting the butterflies crying out in his belly and the urge to beg Bucky to just say his name over and over and over…
“Steve?”, This time, the concern isn’t quite as subtle, “Are you sure you’re alright, pal?” Bucky takes a step closer towards the blonde, drawing out skittish blue eyes, lowering his voice in case anyone was listening.
Again, the omega clears his throat and squares his shoulders.
“Did you want to tell me something, Sargent?”
Bucky opens his mouth, defiance dancing on his tastebuds before something makes him snap it shut, offering a curt nod, “Yes, Captain.” His voice strained, everything he wants to say lodged in his throat.
“I just wanted to let you know that we should be landing in less than 15 minutes.”
Like before, Bucky opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it. Choosing instead to take a seat beside his captain, slipping his arms through the provided harness. He gives Steve a pointed look, “We should probably buckle up.”
For a moment, Steve is taken back to the war. When his body was just beginning to react to the serum and the increased suppressants. (The government had taken every percussion necessary to ensure the public wouldn’t know Captain America was an omega.)
After Steve became ‘big’ and outranked Bucky in the military, the brunette never did anything but follow him into the fire. Loyal and boundless. Never questioning his strategies or actions unless it put him in direct danger. That didn’t mean he could keep himself from telling Steve what to do. He just found different ways to do it.
Suggesting tasks, like putting on seatbelts, for instance. Strapping extra weapons to his ankles before handing one to Steve and forcing it into his hands even when the blonde would roll his eyes, whispering his disapproval so only he would hear.
Never raising his voice or permitting his tone to deepen or his scent to take on that spicy, electric feel that never failed to make Steve bare his neck. Never stepping out of line. Never disrespecting or demeaning Steves title. Always in charge anyway.
Bucky doesn’t utter a single command or request, but Steve buckles up anyhow. Drinking in the small, hardly there smile that Bucky offers to the air in front of him, not even meeting Steve’s gaze. And the omega hates the happiness, the relief he feels at satisfying Bucky.
Hates that Bucky doesn’t even have to tell him what to do for him to obey. Hates that he has to obey, even though Bucky doesn’t need him to anymore.
He doesn’t need him anymore...
Bucky still hasn’t said a word when they land, but it’s not like Steve gave him much of an opportunity.
Things have been strained between them since Steve began pulling away. Avoiding Bucky’s calls and limiting their time together.
It was just easier that way. Miserable and lonely, but easier.
The moment the Quinjet is stationary, the supersoldier is up on his feet and stomping down the runway, leaving the Avengers and Bucky behind him.
He needs to breathe.
He can’t breathe!
If he didn’t know any better, he would say he was having an asthma attack. It feels like an asthma attack.
Steve’s eyes sting with unshed tears, taking large gulps of air into his lungs, and it burns!
He arrives at his door by the grace of God, not remembering entering the tower or if he passed anyone on his way.
“Jarvis. Door.” He gasps. Actual fear starting to seep into his bones.
“Yes, Captain Rogers,” The AI responds, the oversized steel doors swinging open.
Distantly, Steve hears the door shut behind him and feels himself settle against a wall. He pushes his back against the surface and tries to even out his breathing. Revisiting everything he can remember about how to resolve an asthma attack.
After several attempts, he stumbles into a somewhat consistent breathing pattern, his chest heaving at a slower rate.
In through the nose. Out through the mouth. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. In through the nose…
It’s not working!
Steve’s heartbeat only hammers against his chest and neck quicker, his breathing sharply turning back into hyperventilation.
It’s then that he realizes he isn’t having an asthma attack at all. He’s having a panic attack.
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.
In through the nose. Out through the mouth. InthroughthenoseOutthroughthemouth.
Why isn’t this working!?
The blonde clenches his eyes shut, a sob fighting its way past trembling lips. He feels so alone. So unwanted, Unwarranted.
He thinks back to the 40s- back to him and Bucky. After the serum, during the war. Hidden behind the cover of night and an abandoned building at the far end of Base. The first time since the change, his heart felt like it would crawl its way up Steves throat and swan dive right off his tongue.
Struggling to ease the fogginess in his mind, Steve remembers strong arms wrapped around his waist. Cool metal poking his nose as he bumped Bucky’s dog tags with each of his movements, scenting warm flesh.
Bucky’s voice is rumbling demands, his voice leaving no room for argument while every word was also laced with patience and love. Scent projecting love, understanding, I’m here, you’re safe.
“In through your nose. Out through your mouth. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.”
He repeats the mantra until Steve’s Omega obeyed his alpha, sucking in lung fulls of oxygen and releasing it in time with Buckys orders.
The memory of bombs and gunshots lost behind the sound of Bucky’s voice.
In through your nose. Out through your mouth. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.
He conjures up the memory of Buckys voice, coated in alpha command, urging him to breathe evenly. Fingers digging into Steve’s flushed skin, grounding him.
His alpha always knows what he needs...
Steve misses him.
Misses more than just the raw irrefutable attraction that got them into more trouble than it should have growing up. But he misses the rest of him too.
Misses the smirks and the long nights dreaming of what the future would bring. He misses Bucky’s laugh. God, he can hardly remember what it sounds like now.
Steve misses the way he would kiss. Gently. Chaste. Rough. Long. Kiss him in private and kiss him places that weren’t safe. On the stoop in front of their apartment, before the sun would come up and wandering eyes could catch them. Or alone in their bedroom, lips starting on his eyelids, across purple bruises, then down to his chest. Swallowing the omega’s moans and grinning into his mouth before settling beside him and chuckling deep into his ear, the last thing Steve would hear before sleep would overcome him. He misses the way Bucky would say his name like a prayer, wrap his lips around every letter like a caress, eyes sparkling with their love.
He misses knowing he’ll never be alone.
His heart thunders in his ears, chest feeling seconds away from crumbling in on itself as he thinks maybe it was easier when he believed the alpha was dead. Before he found out Bucky was alive, he mourned the man who loved him. Now, he grieves the love he’s lost. The alpha- his alpha-standing beside him without an ounce of affection or desire in his eyes.
Bucky wasn’t mourning the loss of Steve because he didn’t want Steve. Not anymore.
He clearly remembered enough. He may remember it all. However, knowing didn’t mean he had any intention of returning to what they had.
But even if every memory was gone, if the omega mattered at all, Bucky would remember him- his soul! If Steve himself were robbed of his past and they were just meeting again for the first time, he knew his soul would remember Buckys. Would want to know him all over, not needing to understand why!
The tears are falling before Steve has the chance to notice. A jagged whine barreling past his lips. All the weight of devastation and loneliness finally falling onto his shoulders.
Bucky had met him again. But he didn’t need him the same. Didn’t know his Omega; he didn’t want his heart.
Steve slumps further against the wall, blonde hair drenched in sweat, hands clawing at his chest, trying fruitlessly to manage his racing heart.
Closing his eyes, the omega summons an image of Bucky smiling reassuringly, soothing him as he tells him what to do.
In through your nose. Out through your mouth. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.
Okay… okay. That’s better.
“It hurts to think of you,” The omega confesses to no one, the tears running past his chin onto his suit. But I need you, “And I can’t breathe without you.”
“In through your nose. Out through your mouth. In through your nose. Out through your mouth. I’ve got you, Stevie. In and out. That’s it. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.”
Steve allows himself to sink deeper into his fantasy, swearing he could actually feel Bucky's hands running down his back and through his hair.
“I’ve got you, Stevie.”
It’s the last thing Steve hears before he passes out.
***
Steve is warm.
Steve’s bed has always been too soft, even after Sam suggested a firmer mattress. While helpful, he still couldn’t manage anything better than a fitful half-sleep most nights. He knew why, but in an effort to avoid further misery, he chooses not to dwell too much on that matter.
Aside from the too-soft mattress and the alpha missing from his bed, the omega was never warm enough. He shivered and reached out for body heat too far from his reach. But…
Steve is warm...
For a moment, he swears arms are around him.
And for a moment, he doesn’t care who they belong to. Because he isn’t shivering, for once. Isn’t suffering through another cold sweat, and the omega constantly pacing within him is actually settled. He hasn’t been this comfortable since the previous century, so whoever the hell is beside him can very well stay where they are, as long as he can keep this feeling.
It’s with another breath, he feels consciousness slowly creep up on him.
He almost laughs at the thought of being comfortable in anyone else’s arms. Of course, Bucky should have been his first thought, but honestly, at this point, Bucky willingly in his bed was a cruel dream.
Bucky must be using the same blockers Steve does. His Omega can’t scent him even this close, but who else’s arms fit so perfectly around him?
It’s the closest they’ve been at all since rescuing Bucky from Hydra, and Steve hated it as much as he loved it.
He wants to go back to sleep. Wants to bask in the warmth Bucky offers and pretend they’re back in their tiny apartment in Brooklyn. Struggling to make ends meet and unplagued by the horrors of war. Hidden from the world behind wilting wallpaper, sharing sweet kisses and bruising grips.
But this isn’t 1939. Bucky doesn’t share his bed...or his affections.
He would give anything to go back. He’d give anything to have his alpha again.
“I didn’t know you still had panic attacks.”, of course, Bucky noticed he wasn’t asleep anymore.
Steve feels him shift away, the arm around his waist, already feather-light, hardly there.
The omega within him whines, not wanting him to pull away. No, he wants him to climb on top of him. To drop all of his weight onto Steve’s hopeless body, make him stay in place. Unable to move until Bucky tells him he can...
Steve clenches his eyes tightly, suppressing his every unrelenting instinct from manifesting into something that will only push Bucky further away. And he needs him. Steve needs him, even if it is killing him.
“Yeah, well, there’s a lot you don’t know about, Buck.”, the omega remarks, his back still firmly pressed to Bucky’s chest.
Bucky may be ready to move, but Steve certainly isn’t. It’s not like the Alpha will say anything. Steve is far from perfect, despite whatever bullshit the news wants to feed the public. Steve is flawed and can be as selfish as anyone else. There are times where he permits his gaze to linger longer than it should, hands lazily pulling back when they should’ve never left his side, to begin with, or say Buckys name in the dead of night, surrounded by nothing but darkness and the sticky evidence of his spent weaknesses.
In private or in front of the alpha, Steve has toed the line of what is appropriate between friends and behavior shared between lovers.
Bucky has never reacted to any of it. Robotic and perfect all at once. His responses are exactly what they’re supposed to be, feeling false all the same.
Never contesting. Never reacting. As if Steve doesn’t ache for him.
It’s then that the confusion begins to twist at the recess of the omega’s mind.
“Why are you in my bed, Buck?” And how can I keep you here?
There’s a beat of silence, Bucky’s breath even beside Steve’s ear. It almost feels rehearsed, as if Bucky is concentrating on his breathing. Steve shakes the thought away before he can fool himself for the millionth time something is there that has proven again and again to be long ago dead.
“I was worried about you,” Bucky eventually admits, the arm just barely resting on Steve’s hip returning to its previous pressure, fingers hot and electrifying as they accidentally meet bare flesh peeking beneath Steve’s sleep shirt.
Sleep shirt?
“Did you change my clothes?” Steve says without thinking, saying anything to stop himself from moaning. He can’t remember the last time Buckys hands were this close to his body without explosions and frantic shouts playing in the background.
He turns his neck enough to meet Bucky’s clouded grey gaze.
A gasp falls from his lips instinctively, his own eyes widening on their own accord, taking in the receding blood red only just beginning to fade from the alpha’s eyes.
Just like that, Bucky is removing his arm entirely, releasing the Omega and taking all of that delicious warmth with him.
Bucky stays on the bed, though. His back resting against the headboard.
Steve just narrowly stops himself from shouting, ‘No! Stay, please!’, his heart pounding in his ears and his hands burning with the desire to reach out and drag the other man in.
Instead, he swallows his cries and urges his weary muscles into a sitting position, facing away from the former assassin.
While Steve was changed into something more comfortable than his uniform, the omega notices Bucky remains in his clunky tactical gear, down to his boots.
He had no intention of staying, Rogers. Take deep breaths, and give him an out.
He just needs to go.
The blonde is good at pretending. Well, most days anyway, he can fake a smile when the world is falling apart; he can pretend to be happy. But what he can’t seem to do anymore is pretend that he isn’t painfully in love with the man currently sitting on his bed, not a single reminisce of what they once were hanging between them.
He can’t manage a smile or a whisper of optimism when everything good has been taken from him. He knows what’s expected of him, but there are days when the sorrow is crippling, and he feels weaker than he ever did as that little guy from Brooklyn.
Clearly, no more talking is going to happen. And Steve isn’t emotionally stable enough right now to act as if he doesn’t want the alpha to bathe him in his scent, forcing the lingering panic, unwell, lonely away.
He moves to stand when,
“Rest.”
The order is sharp and certainly unintentional.
The shiver that races down Steve’s spine is violent, and his body locks up, ready to obey.
Turning his neck again, Steve catches the profile of the alphas annoyingly handsome face. His eyes are closed, brow pinched in concentration.
Steve stands slowly, hands shaking. It’s sickening how dreadfully good that single word made him feel. Floaty and sated. His blood, always raging, rushing, and crying out, settles within him, preparing to be taken care of.
The logical part of him reminds the omega they’ve been here before. Bucky will do something so woefully familiar, he dilutes himself into thinking he’s still wanted.
It’s never the case.
Steve keeps the hope from his tone when he challenges, “Excuse me?” Waiting for another command with bated breath.
“You should probably rest, Cap,” Bucky folds his arms across his broad chest, still ignoring Steve’s previous question as well as his gaze.
Forcing a smirk that makes him want to throw up, Steve teases, “Are you avoiding my question, Sargent?”
“Steve,” Bucky objects, voice chastizing.
Something uneasy burrows into Steve’s stomach, his body rejecting the discontent emanating off Bucky's skin.
He shrugs away the urge to whine, instead offering an ingenuine chuckle, “Jeez, I’m fine. Why so serious, Buck?”
Bucky stands, eyes hard, glaring right into Steve’s soul. The blonde sucks in a harsh breath, his fingers tingling and breath shallow.
Bucky’s eyes are red.
“Why so serious? “ The alpha growls, not moving from his spot beside Steve’s bed. The distance separating them not making sense in contrast to the intimate edge heavy in the air. It would be comical if not for the current sparking the negative space.
“We’re just gonna pretend like I didn’t find you seconds from passing out less than an hour ago? Is that something casual, am I supposed to just ignore it?”
Steve’s plastic smile fades, a tired expression painting his sharp features, “Yes. That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do.” He sighs, scrubbing his face in frustration, “Ignore it. Like you ignore everything else, Bucky...Just go.”
“What’s tha ‘posed to mean?”
“It means I’m sorry you had to see that, but you don’t have to worry about it.”
“See what? You being irresponsible?”
The thin scrap of patience the omega has evaporates; actually, it burns the fuck up, raging as loud as Steve’s fury, “Irresponsible!?”
The anger shoots through Steve like a wildfire, his temperature rising and his hands balling into fists. If the Alpha didn’t know any better, he’d think Steve was going to punch him.
Even so, he doesn’t back down. Instead, he takes a single step towards the blonde, body tight and rigid. Voice booming when he sneers, “Yes, goddamn it! Irresponsible.”
“Fuck you, Bucky!” Steve shouts, “Who the hell are you to lecture me on being irresponsible?”
“I’m your… I’m your second in command, and if you were struggling with PTSD, you should have told me something! Instead of me following you to your rooms and basically threatening Jarvis into letting me in. You were pale, Steve. Snow White ain’t got shit on how you looked- you were nearly blue! And I’m sorry for stepping in. We can blame it on your biology, but you finally managed to relax when my alpha came forward. It’s irresponsible to let yourself get to that point when you could have come to me- or, or anyone in the avengers for help.”
“You’re sorry,” Steve scoffs, “ You’re sorry you had to help me.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Oh, but it’s what you said, isn’t it?” The Omega is nearly in hysterics. Half sad laughs, the only thing keeping him from crying.
“Steve...”
Buckys voice is now soaked in concern, the anger lost behind wisps of worried seeping from his concealed scent. Which serves only to break Steve further.
“Stevie.” Bucky repeats, wondering if Steve was spiraling into another panic attack.
He is only two steps away from him in a second, twitching, never touching but always close.
Steve feels another shock rack his entire body. His name falling from Bucky’s lips so effortlessly. The authority he holds swallowing every syllable. The sheer force of it nearly brings the omega to his knees.
Steve's heart pounds against his chest, like his heart is trying to escape. Running both hands across his face, then over tufts of blonde hair, his hands meeting behind his neck craned up towards the sky. Praying to anyone up there with mercy that Bucky will just leave. He keeps his arms where they arm before he can do something stupid like reach out.
“Bucky, why are you so concerned about it?” Steve’s eyes are still trained to the ceiling.
Steve knows he’s playing with fire. Playing with his own emotions, but sometimes he can swear he lives for it.
Bucky hesitates, watching Steve with careful eyes. “Because…You are our Captain and my best friend. If you need help, I am going to help you.”
The finality in his tone almost sounds like an alpha command, but his words contradict any sense of attraction or desire.
Another huff, gaze and arms dropping, “I’ll be fine once you leave.” Steve counters, harsher than he intended.
But fuck if he cares. Bucky doesn’t want him. He deserves to be a little angry. If he can’t grieve him, he can at least have this!
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing!” He snaps, “Just leave, James.”
“James? Oh, I’m James now?”
Steve could care less if he’s hurt his feelings. He’s had enough. His heart hurts, and his head aches. He is done playing this ‘I’m okay with everything’ game.
He is not okay with this, Dammit!
His heart is broken. Shattered. Irreplaceable. And he’s just supposed to be okay with that? He’s supposed to be Bucky’s friend and make jokes and smile when he is dying inside? Crying for his alpha- for stability when he feels like his whole world has been rocked?
Well, he’s had enough. He’s behaved for 2 years. He’s done!
Clenching blue eyes shut, Steve feels every carefully constructed wall of deception crumple at their feet.
“I don’t have time for this. Just leave so that I can breathe! I can’t breathe with you here!”
“Stevie…”
“Please,” the omega whimpers, all the fight leaving his body, long pale fingers running through sleep tousled hair, pulling at the roots, “Just stop.”
“Stop what? I can’t stop doing something if I don’t know what it is I’m doing!”
It’s Bucky’s turn to be panicked. In two strides, he’s in front of Steve, feeling the alarm creep up his chest, a flash of something sharpening eerie grey.
“Steve! Answer m-” Bucky lifts his hands as if to reach out for the other man but catches himself before metal could find flesh, “Will you tell me what I am doing wrong?”
Steve wants to cry and scream and rip that stupid mental arm out of its socket just so he can slap Bucky with it.
“Stop!” He repeats desperately, “Just stop! Stop saying my name! Stop talking to me like-like…”
“Like what!?”
Taking a calming breath, Steve forces himself to meet the alpha’s eyes, “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to give you orders and never receive a protest in return?”
There’s a beat of silence accompanied by a blank expression. Steves heart shouting in his chest.
“...What?”
Steve continues, “Telling you what to do and how to do it. At least before you would fight me, yell at me. Make it easier to breathe.”
“Steve, what the fuck are you talkin’ about? You’re my boss. I’m s’posed ta take orders from ya.” Steve just about weeps when the Brooklyn accent begins to peek through, just as it usually does when Bucky is confused.
“Well, I’m not just your boss!”, Steve hears himself say, “I’m not just your boss. I’m also an omega. And I want you to tell me what to do. Your voice is like it’s permanently in alpha command, and I want you to fucking command me! Because I’m not just your boss. I’m not just an omega. I’m your fucking omega! And I can’t stand you saying my name like your seconds away from telling me to get down on my knees because you never do! And it isn’t your fault! It’s not! You don’t want me anymore, and that’s fine, but my omega hasn’t forgotten, and my heart won’t forgive you for not loving me anymore. So stop. Stop saying my name like you still want me. Because every time you do, for precisely one second, I feel like you’ve come back to me, but you haven’t- you won’t! And it’s killing me, Buck.”
Steve’s eyes are misted with tears, his chest heaving and skin flushed with embarrassment and shame, “Please… Just don’t say my name, or I’m just gonna break.”
The words pour from his lips, and he wants to disappear. He wishes the ground would just swallow him whole and save him from Bucky’s response.
Steve trembles beneath stormy grey, choosing instead to watch the ground. His omega whining and clawing at the back of his mind.
“I can’t do this anymore, Bucky.” He murmurs, waiting for the outrage or worse; the indifference-the clunk of footsteps walking away from the mess he’s made. The life they had. The man he no longer loves.
Steve hasn’t found his eyes again. Won’t move his head. He doesn’t care how submissive it makes him look because he’s spent most of his life searching for steel grey eyes in crowds and across rooms. Seeking them out in the dark, the only beacon of light he would see most days. And now… Now those eyes that kept him so safe when the world was crumbling around them made him feel like winter on a summer day, cold and alone, only seconds from melting into nothing.
He’s not sure how much time passes without a word between them. He waits another moment before surrendering a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, shaking his head and turning to leave.
He didn’t know where he was going, but he couldn’t stay here.
Like lightning, Bucky’s right hand snaps forward, catching the omega’s wrist before he can make it far, and just like electricity, a jolt of fire scorches where their skin meets.
As one would an old friend, Steve invites the sensation to consume him, feeling every nerve respond to Bucky, it’s like he was brought back to life, and he wants nothing more than to cry because he knows it won’t last. He knows as soon as the alpha lets go, he’ll return to reality as only half a man. Something-someone always missing from him.
“Steve.”, his breath hitches, and his hands shake. A whisper of a scent he’s all but forgotten seeps into the room, but it’s gone before Steve can determine if it’s only a memory.
Steve’s name rolls off of Bucky’s tongue too easily. Too pretty. Too dark. Too much!
Jesus!
Hadn’t he been clear enough the first fucking time? How else exactly was he supposed to phrase it; ‘Don’t say my name, or I’ll break from how horny it makes me?’
“Steve,” The alpha repeats.
Steve feels another pang of electricity shoot to his fingertips, itching with the need to just touch, “Bucky, I think you should leave.”
He doesn’t want him to. But when was the last time Steve got what he wanted.
“Now,” He adds after another second passes. Bucky's feet were firmly placed on the ground, not a single muscle prepared to even twitch.
The room is blanketed in heavy silence before, “No.”
Steve feels as if the wind has been knocked out of him. His lips part in surprise, brow furrowed as his heart begins to pick up the pace.
“Excuse me?”
“I hate that I can’t scent you,” The alpha announces, talking slow, calculated steps forward, eradicating any space brave enough to separate them,
“I hate that I can’t tell where you are during missions.” Suddenly Bucky’s grip loosens, yet it doesn’t move far. He runs his hand up Steve’s forearm, fingertips dragging across perfect porcelain skin, not stopping until the palm of his flesh hand rests on Steve’s neck.
“I picture what it would feel like to sink my teeth into your neck and keep you there, with my fangs in your flesh, drawing blood from your skin and moans from your lips. I dream of you whimpering, “ He whispers harshly, eyes trained to Steve’s neck.
The omega’s eyes flutter closed, lips trembling around the alpha’s name, “Bucky,”
Ignoring the blonde, the other man continues, not quite done yet, “I defend those thoughts by saying to myself, it’s all so that I can feel you. So I can feel where you are when we’re in the field. So I won’t worry as much, won’t get distracted. But I know it’s just half of it. I know I want to tell you to take those damn blockers off. To wash it away, or let me lick it away with my tongue-whichever came first.”
“I hate that I want to fall asleep with you curled above my chest because you’ll be warmer that way. And for whatever reason, I remember you always being cold before bed. I want to demand you buckle up and wear extra layers. I want you to fight me a little. I want you to tell me to shut up but get all soft when I give you a hard look. Like, you are now, with my chest touching yours, hands at your neck and waist. Your heart stuttering against me. I want you to tease me because you want me to get annoyed so that I tell you to shut your mouth and put it to good use. I hate that I want to do all these things, but I can’t. Because you don’t want me to...”
Blue pop open, held hostage by grey. Bucky is everywhere. His face is so close Steve can feel every breath the alpha takes fan over his eyelashes. His eyes tracking over the curve of pink lips and soft skin. Left arm curled around Steve’s waist, metal grip unmoving. His other hand still firmly placed over his scent gland, Bucky’s long fingers spread over the column of flesh, thumb running back and forth along the length of it, causing goosebumps to follow his trail of fire.
Steve moans at the sensation, baring his neck so Bucky has the access he would need. His legs nearly giving out beneath him, but the arm at his waist won’t let him fall.
“Are you telling me that you want me to?” Bucky presses. His voice is sharp and promising. The hand around Steve’s neck, a light pressure the omega finds himself pushing into.
“Steve! Look at me. Look at me, omega.”
The blonde hadn’t noticed his eyes fluttering shut again, the sensation of being held, of having so much alpha- his alpha right there in front of him. Soaking him in his scent. Not a true claim or even a scent mark, but this is more than he ever thought he would ever get again.
Bucky’s words have barely registered for the omega; he lost the ability to comprehend English the instant Buckys hands found his body. But he reacts to the order, all the same, seeing the steely, beautiful grey (beginning to tint red again) he has known since he was a boy.
Slowly, so slowly, Steve begins to piece together the things Bucky has confessed, his eyes once more welling with tears.
Patiently, Bucky waits for the understanding to reflect in sapphire eyes, speaking only when he knows the omega can now retain information.
“Are you telling me you want me to touch you, Stevie?” Bucky murmurs, staring at Steve’s bottom lip.
“Yes,” He breathes, just barely audible without an ounce of hesitation.
The next thing Steve knew, Bucky had him against a wall. His nose buried in his neck and his hands rounding his ass, using his shoulders to pin Steve to the wall and lift his legs until the omega joined the program and wrapped his legs around Bucky’s waist. Bucky’s hardening cock pushing into his hip.
“Oh shit, Buck!”
“ I have to say your name,” Bucky growls, grinding into his omega.
“As much as I can, even if it doesn’t work in the conversation, because it’s the closest I can get you in my mouth. It tastes like heaven, and memories I can’t decipher are real or just fantasy they- Oh, fuck baby. Yeah, Stevie- They don’t compare to this- Keep moving, just like that, babydoll.”
Steve ruts against Buckys friction, his eyes closed tightly, whatever was left of their blockers bleeding out, replacing the neutral aroma in the room with their combined scents, desperation, and slick.
“God, Bucky. I missed you so much. I’ve been so alone.”
Buckys mouth finds Steve’s trembling lips, nothing subtle or slow about his movements. The alpha’s tongue swallows the moans tumbling past Steve’s lips. Hands gripping his waist tighter.
The sun bursts behind their eyes. Blood rushing and hearts bumping to twice their regular speed. For different people, people who aren’t Steve and Bucky, a first kiss after so long should probably be slow and tentative, something soft and building. But they aren’t different people. They are too broken and too powerful and undeniably deserving people who have had nothing to count on besides one another their entire conscious lives. To entertain even a second of not indulging in hard, fast, desperate supersedes unthinkable and settles somewhere over cruel.
“Never again, Stevie. I ain’t leaving you alone” another thrust, “Ever, “ another bruising kiss, “Again.”
Bucky’s cock strains against his uniform, desperate for Steve’s hole. Steve is a withering whimpering mess, drunk on Buckys scent and high on all the delicious friction causing his weeping cunt to flutter, uncomfortably empty.
After several more minutes of making out, Bucky moves them back to the bed, lying Steve out on the mattress. He only has a fraction of a second to admire the work of art that is Steve Rogers sprawled out and waiting to be fucked when Steve’s hands are at his neck, pulling him back in.
His lips move against the alpha’s sloppily, sucking on his bottom lip until the ex-assassin growls impatiently, searching for his mate’s tongue. His mate…
His mate. Steve thinks he may cry as the sheer relief almost painfully washes over him. All of the uncertainty and shame of being unwanted melts away, and all that surrounds him is the vibrating want, mine, love, love, love from the man above him, trailing scorching hot kisses down his neck.
“I wanna be ‘side you, baby. Please, Steve. Let me, ugh, please, babydoll. Can I-”
“Yes!” steve interrupts, “Yes, Alpha, you never have to ask! I’ll do whatever you ask, oh just touch me, Bucky, alpha, my alpha, touch me-”
“Shh, “ Bucky chuckles, stopping the omega’s rambling. He runs his flesh hand through disheveled blonde hair, dragging his nails through Steve’s scalp and marveling at the hiss the omega releases, “I’ve got you, Stevie. All I needed was a lil consent, then all bets are off, aren’t they? ‘Cause you’re mine now, aren’t you, baby?”
“Always have been, jerk. I never stopped.”
“Good. Now, stop touching me.”
With a whimper, Steve can’t stop his hands from frantically clawing every inch of Bucky he can access.
“Now, babydoll, don’t you wanna be good for me?”
Still clutching one hand around Bucky's thick, muscular biceps, the other pulling at the strands of dark brown hair helplessly, “I can be good,” the omega babbles, “I’ll be good, Alpha. So good, I can be good, so so good. Please-”
“ Then listen to what I am telling you. I won’t repeat myself again, Steve. It’s my turn now. I wanna get my mouth on you, and I can’t do that if you keep pullin’ me back up to kiss. So stop touching.”
The moan that stutters past Steve’s lips would be embarrassing if not for how fucking fantastic it feels for Bucky’s alpha command to slam into him. Paralyzing him in place. Hands falling unceremoniously at his sides.
Crystal blues brimming with tears, he feels safe for the first time since coming out of the ice- he feels familiar. Not somewhere foreign with no understanding of anything besides, fight this, kill that. This is different. This is them. This is intimacy- their intimacy.
There’s trust swimming within the negative spaces Bucky extends, and he knows, to his core, he can let go. Steve surrenders all his false smiles and exhausting positivity. This is home. Bucky is home. He doesn’t have to put up a front because his alpha has it handled.
Steve isn’t Captain America or some beacon of hope. He’s just Steve, Stevie. Bucky's Omega.
He’s unsure how much time passes or where it went, to begin with, but his body sinks deeper into his mattress, feeling entirely boneless.
“You okay, baby?” Bucky’s husky voice breaks through the fog, “I lost you for a second there.”
Steve feels himself come back, callused hands running through damp blonde hair.
“Mmm,” he hums.
“You spaced a little, Stevie. You’re so beautiful when you get all soft for me. But you’re back now, aren’t you? Look at you. So perfect. Pretty, perfect omega-mine. Kept your hands at your side the whole time too. Such a good boy. You’re gonna keep your hands right where they are, Stevie. Don’t you move a fucking inch. I’m going to lick you open now, babydoll. And you’re gonna come on my tongue as many times as I want you to. Because I’ve gone 70 years without you, and I’m goddamned starved” Bucky’s voice goes from soft praise to near feral growls. His voice sending nothing but jolts of electricity down Steve’s spine, another wave of slick slipping down his thighs.
Before the ‘please’ has the opportunity to touch Steve's mouth, Bucky's hot, slick tongue finds his pulse point, just mere inches from his mating gland.
“Bucky!”
“I want this off!”, The ex-assassin grunts, in one swift move yanking the crisp white shirt from Steve's chest.
“Oh!”
Bucky backs up to lean on his knees, eyes tracking over pinkening skin. Steve’s own gaze glides over now exposed skin. Steve tries to finger out when he removed his clothes but falls short.
After so long without Buckys tenderly harsh commands, falling into space came a little easier than he would have thought. Overwhelmed by the unanticipated satisfaction.
“Open your eyes.”
When had Steve closed his eyes again?
“There you are, dolly. Keep those pretty eyes on me, okay? Always on me, baby.”
Rough, mouthwateringly calloused hands find the waistband of Steve’s pants and yank down in one fluid motion.
The blonde hisses for a moment at the sudden cold air biting his skin, but it only lasts a moment before he’s screaming.
“Fuck!” Steve throws his head back in favor of making sounds even a prostitute would blush at.
One moment Bucky’s on his knees, eyes predatory and sinful, calculating all the things he could do to the man shivering beneath his gaze, the next finds him throat deep, swallowing down Steve’s sweet omega cock, slurping up his precum and getting high off the scent of slick so close to his nose.
Steve can’t breathe.
God! It’s too much. It’s so good. It’s too good!
Steve can feel the familiar pull of an orgasm tugging inside of him. The corners of his closed vision whitening out around the black, lacking the energy to even feel embarrassed by how quickly he’s reached his pinnacle.
Pulling off agonizingly slow, Bucky lets his tongue harshly lick along Steve’s little shaft and twirl over his tip, remembering- fucking remembering! All the sounds and glazed looks elicited from the man below him in the past.
Grey eyes flick up hungrily, ravenous for a look into perfect crystal eyes; he can remember the glazed debauched expression that could devour Steve’s pupils, but it’s not enough!
He wants the real thing.
He wants something tangible and alive in his hands he can never again confuse with desire. Something he’s sure happened, a gift Steve is willingly offering instead of a snarled half-memory he can’t allow himself to believe.
“I-ugh! I’m gonna-“Steve stutters, toes curling and knees bending, framing Bucky's face between his thighs. His hands twitch beside him, but he doesn’t dare move them.
“Oh!”
It should have been a cry of ecstasy.
Should have been the Yellow River Flood; relentless and relieving. No survivors.
Instead, Steve is left with his chest heaving violently. Gasping for air just as he did when he was small.
The omega hears Bucky tutting before he manages to pry his eyes open. Immediately recognizing his mistake before the words fall from cum slick lips.
“Oh, baby. You were doing so good.”
“Nno! Buck, please!”
“Shhh, What did I say, dolly?” Bucky replaces his mouth with one strong hand, lazily jerking at Steve’s straining cock.
He’s smirking when Steve hisses beneath him and hums in approval when his hands stay at his sides.
“F-Faster! Please, Buck! Goddamn it, stop teasing’ me.”
“What did I say, Stevie?” Bucky repeats sharply. His movements slowing further.
Steve’s omega cries.
“You wanna cum, baby doll? “
“Yes!”
“Then what do you have to do?“
Steve’s mind has gone to mush. He thrusts his hips up, chasing after Bucky's friction. Hands struggling against the bedsheets.
“Still, omega!”
Bucky's voice is rough as sandpaper, sounding as on edge as Steve feels. A firm metal hand presses into the omega’s hip holding him in place.
“Be good, Stevie.” The alpha asserts firmly, scent growing muskier with every heavenly noise gasped and groaned from Steve’s sinful lips.
“If you wanna cum, what is it you have to do?”
Bucky rubs a metal thumb soothingly over a sinfully sharp hip bone before trailing his fingers over Steve’s quivering thigh.
Grey eyes nearly roll into the back of his head, “Fuck, baby, you’re so soft. C’mon, don’t you want me to touch you?”
“Yes! Please, fuckin touch me, you jerk!”
Chuckling darkly to himself, Bucky watches Steve with bated breath, and all at once, he feels like his mind had never left. Like an addict, he was never over his addiction; he just forgot how good it was. And like the degenerate addict he apparently was, he sucks in deep breaths, sucking in as much of Steve’s aroused scent that his lungs can handle.
All it took was one hit of Steve- his omega- and he had fallen into himself, more of who he was than any memory had offered.
Steve is his clarity and his habit. The one thing that will always bring him back because Steve is home.
And he’s gonna make him feel good. He’s gonna make up for all he put his omega through, and he’s gonna enjoy every second of it.
Every moan, every shiver, every cry. He’s gonna hold him and bruise him because Steve is his, and that’s how the omega likes it. Bucky’s omega. Bucky's Sweetheart. Bucky’s mate.
The ex-assassin lets his fingers trail lower, his other hand still just barely moving over Steve’s pulsing cock.
The first touch of cool metal meeting Steve’s hole causes the blonde to nearly jump off the bed.
“Buck!”
Steve thinks he’s gonna die.
He feels every cell in his body vibrating with a hot, hopeless sensation. Slick pours out of him the second Bucky’s teasing, perfect, godforsaken pinky circles Steve’s core. His lungs and eyes are burning, nearly out of breath, and only capable of volunteering a broken sob when that fucking pinky just barely pushes in.
“Please,” he whispers jaggedly.
He’ll be good for bucky. He’ll keep his hands at his side. He’ll do what he says even without the command, the fogginess of his brain settling deep enough that any request will register as a command anyway.
That’s just how Steve is wired.
Designed to submit to Buck’s direction.
He knows what Bucky wants, but to physically pry his eyes open at that moment was easier said than done. He struggled to determine whether or not he’s trying to starve off a quickly approaching orgasm or trying to chase one.
Whatever the answer, Bucky doesn’t let him reach it.
The alpha’s dark, whiskey voice sounds as wrecked as Steve feels.
“What. Do. I. Want?” Bucky growls impatiently. Another wave of slick dribbles from the omega wetting the sheets beneath them.
Think, steve! Give alpha what he wants! You can be good. I can be good…. What does he want again?
“My…ugh! M-My eyes.”
Finally, fucking finally, Bucky pushes a finger into Steve’s hole. Fast and absolutely delicious.
Just when he thought Bucky would stop playing games, he realizes the ringing in his ears is replaced by the alpha tutting above him.
“Very close, baby, but not quite.”, Buckys finger starts to draw out slowly; what little fullness Steve has is threatened, and the distressed mewl Steve makes in protest causes the alpha to chuckle darkly.
“P-pretty! Keep my pretty eyes on you! Only on you!” his eyes snap open frenzied, finding a swirl of grey and red zeroed in on him.
In a millisecond, Steve has two metal fingers thrusting into his hole. His back arches on the mattress, fingers nearly numb as they grip the sheets tighter, but his eyes don’t close again.
“That’s right, baby. Only on me.”
“Oh! Yes!”
“Fuck! You’re so tight, Stevie.”, Bucky groans, lowering himself as to mouth along Steve’s jaw, nipping his skin between tentative licks.
“Pl-Ease! Oh, yes... Please, Buck.”
“Please what, Stevie? Use your words.”
Steve’s mind is a simple stream of 3 thoughts, Touch me. Fuck me. Love me!; all of which he can only vocalize as, “Oh please, please. Bucky!”
Working a third finger along with the other two, Bucky hisses with Steve at the stretch his hole gives.
So fucking tight, the alpha thinks to himself, I don’t know how I’ll survive it, but I’m gonna fuck this omega so gooood.
“Words, Steve. Or I’ll start thinking you don’t want me t’touch ya at’all. Huh, maybe I should stop...”
“No! God, Buck, don’t stop, don’t ever stop!”
“Then tell me what you want. What a’you begging for, Doll?” Bucky trails the tips of his fingers over Steve’s ribs, rounding at his back, “is it my fingers? Sliding through all your slick? Or is it my mouth?”
“Yes!”
Bucky chuckles,” That’s not really an answer, Stevie.” His voice gets darker each time he says the omegas name like he knows. Actually, the bastard does know! He knows exactly what he’s doing.
The prospect of teasing seems to pull him just the tiniest bit to the side of coherent, a snarky remark falling from his lips as easily as the desperate pleas had moments before.
“You havin’ fun, Buck?” Steve pants, “Seems like you’re having a little too much fun.”
“Aw no, baby. I’m having the exact right amount of fun. Aren’t we?”
“ ‘We’ are a lotta peop-le!! Oh shit!” pushing his fingers in deeper, Bucky just brushes against Steve’s prostate. A sinister and smug smile curling his lips upward.
“Words, Stevie. Tell me what you want. And I’ll give it to you, omegamine. Just tell me.”
Steve’s chest flushes more as the words tingle on his tongue. Bucky's nearly feral tone betrays his suave and calm demeanor.
He’s just as desperate to be buried deep in Steve’s hole as Steve is to have him there.
Bucky’s fingers push more firmly against Steve’s prostate, and the omega nearly sees stars.
“Sing for me” Almost like an echo, Steve hears Buckys words like gospel.
It’s a command he’s most familiar with. He knows just what ‘ song’ Bucky wants ….
“Daddy!” Steve hisses around a fourth finger. The words punching out of him before he could stop them.
“ I wondered if that was just fantasy,” the alpha mumbles. Eyes darkening a rich crimson. An ever-present growl rumbling in his chest.
Bucky leans over, letting his fingers get even deeper, dragging against Steve’s special spot with every new thrust. With red eyes and diminishing control, the alpha drinks in every pant and whine that drips past kiss-bruised lips and bouncing off the walls of Steve’s room.
Bucky drops his nose into Steve’s scent gland, swiping his tongue over the swelling tissue for a better taste.
“You smell so fucking good, baby. Like mate.”
“Buck…” Steve gasps, feeling overwhelmed. Any moans he could possibly wish to suppress are yanked from his chest with every move the alpha makes. Sounds too rowdy even for porn echoing in his small dark room.
Bucky can’t get enough of it, stuttering an accidental thrust into Steve’s hip when the omega whines in a delightfully sweet way, the scent of slick and alluring sounds steve makes nearly choking him.
Fuck, I hope Tony has these rooms soundproofed. Steve uses his last brain cell to think.
Bucky's metal fingers continue to work him open, preparing him for his big alpha cock fast and rough and exactly how he likes it, but his other hand still moves sluggishly over Steve’s, slowly purpling prick. Tightening and stopping entirely every so often as to starve off Steve’s orgasm.
“Bucky, please!”
Fuck, Bucky thinks, I hope everybody can hear him, fuckin; hear us,
The blonde knows all he has to do is tell Bucky ‘Fuck me’ maybe add on ‘Daddy’ to further wreck him like it did back in the days if he even still likes that. But as much as Steve likes Bucky telling him what to do, he loves to defy him into aggression, twice as much.
“Say it again,” Bucky mumbles against the omegas scent gland, unable to move a millimeter.
The laugh that tumbles past Steve’s lips is quickly swallowed by Buckys tongue shoved down his throat. Pearly white teeth pulling back only to stress a bite on his bottom lip, not stopping until a faint taste of metal joins the deliriously delicious taste of Buckys omega.
“Again, omega. Say it again.”
With another brush against his prostate, Stev’s vision begins to blur, but he won’t close his eyes, no matter how much he wants them to,
“Alpha!”
Steve is a debauched disaster. A puddle of liquid fire and Bucky wanted to fucking burn.
“You know that’s not what I want to hear, babydoll. But I’m feeling generous, so let’s make a deal, yeah? You say what I want, and I’ll tell my precious boy how good he is. How good you feel around my fingers swallowin’ my fingers so fuckin’ good. And I’ll say your name as much as you want. That’s what you were beggin’ for, wasn’t it?” Bucky rambles, fingers pumping quicker into Steve, hand starving off the omegas dick, tugging over the length with dangerous precision.
“You want me to say your name, dontcha dolly? Tell you you’re being good. Everything Daddy needs. My good, beautiful Stevie.”
Buckys cock presses into the mattress, the slightest friction sending magic to tingle over his skin. His knot calls out for Steve’s sopping wet pussy, fluttering around his fingers. The sensation alone is a mutual torture all on its own.
It would be so fucking easy to slide home into Steve’s awaiting heat. So fucking easy!
Not yet, he reminds himself.
No, he wants something first, and he’s gonna get it.
Outside of the bedroom, the thought of ever using his alpha tone with Steve is unthinkable. There isn’t a scenario out there that could justify taking away his omegas free will.
But here-like this. Sweaty and drooling and filthy, reeking of mate and sex, the tone combines with his voice as if that’s the only way there is to speak.
“Say it again, Steve. Now!”
“Daddy! Daddy, fuck me! Please,pleasepleaseplease”
Gently, the alpha removed his fingers. Steve’s mouth opens to cry, but before he can focus too much on the dreadful emptiness, Bucly is buried to the hilt in Steve’s ass.
“Ah!” Steve shouts, throwing his head back and moving his hands to grip at Bucky’s shoulders for the first time since being told not to move them an inch.
He quickly realizes his mistake, and in a fearful attempt to keep Bucky inside of him, confident he wouldn’t survive another moment of his teasing, his alpha’s voice rumbles past the panic.
“Touch me. Wherever you want, Stevie.”
The sigh of relief is an afterthought, long nimble finger trail over both metal and flesh shoulders, a satisfying wave pushing into the realm of too damn good. Being allowed to touch after being denied was always such an experience. Reverse touch starved. Bucky has the go-ahead to do with him as he wishes. Meanwhile, every instinct within the omega seeks Bucky out. His skin, his mouth, his scent. He wants to feel his alpha under his fingers as much as he wants to bounce on Buckys, but he can’t. He has to lay there and fight against the urge to suck hickeys onto every surface of skin he can find.
Pulling on stands of dark chestnut-colored hair, Steve tries to adjust to the girth inside of him.
“Move.”, the omega whispers harshly after a few moments.
Bucky doesn’t need much prompting; he knows Steve can take it, and more than that, any remaining sting that prepping might have missed, Steve fucking aches for.
“As you wish.”
It’s like a dam break. A flood, unforgiving, and exactly what they each fuckin need!
Bucky's shallow, calculated thrusts soon quicken, taking on a brutal pace.
He slams his cock home and grinds deep before pulling nearly entirely out and slamming back in. Again and again and again. Returning quicker every time he finds himself back inside Steve’s velvet-soft heat.
Words are lost on the omega, choosing to indulge rather on feral groans and guttural whines, meeting every thrust and dragging sharp nails across Bucky's shoulders.
It’s all so much. Like a storm, heavy and pounding in their ears. And it all makes so much sense.
They’re a natural disaster. Bucky kisses like a hurricane, all lips, tongue, and teeth. Steve moves and squeezes his walls around Bucky's cock, no rhyme or reason to his actions, just passion, just I have to have this.
Kisses pouring down upon kisses like rain, soaking them in love, and Steve nearly cries.
He never thought he’d have this again.
The ex-assassin is a bit more vocal.
He can feel his release creeping up, desire warm and urgent low in his belly. But cumming before Steve is absolutely not an option. Half the fun was watching the poster child for purity throw his head back in ecstasy, beggin for ruin with Buckys name on his lips. And he’d be damned if he's gonna miss it in the cloud of his own pleasure.
“D-Deeper!” Steve whimpers, pulling Bucky closer by the nape of his neck.
The hand that had been knotted in Steve’s own hair follows suit of the palm firmly placed over one sharp hip bone.
Gripping him with enough pressure to bruise, Bucky bends over Steve’s lithe build and takes hold of one muscular thigh, nearly folding the blonde in half as he settles Steve’s leg over his flesh shoulder.
“Fuck!” Steve cries, Bucky's cock sliding that much deeper, hitting his prostate with nearly every thrust.
Bucky groans at the new position, one large hand kneading and pulling at Steve's ass, tugging him back with the snap of his hips. His other hand runs over the omegas sweaty, slick body, sliding a finger over a single hard nipple before securing his fingers around Steve’s neck. Palm pushing into his scent gland.
It is a little more than light pressure, but it gives its desired effect; Steve’s eyes go from unfocused and glassy to piercing. More black than blue, pupils blown, but Bucky still catches the glint of gold mingling about, exactly what he’d been waiting for.
There you are, omegamine, he thinks.
“Ugh, yes, fuck! You like that, don’t you. Like me pushing you down. Like me pounding into your sweet pussy. But it’s not really yours is it, baby?”
“Gnnn”
“Answer me. Who’s pussy is this, Steve?”
“Y-yours, Daddy. I’m yours.”
“Mine.” The alpha growls, yet another wave of slick passing Steve’s thighs. “My omega. My good boy. Listened so good, doll.”
“Fuck, Buck. Alpha, my alpha. I missed you, I missed you so fuking much. I missed your big alpha cock. So good to me. I wanna be good, Daddy. Tell me how to be good.”
“You wanna be good?”
“Yes!”
“You’re already so good for me. Perfect omega. Pretty, perfect thing.”
“I can be-ugh yes!! I can...nnnn….be better.” The omega stutters between kisses, “Wanna be the best boy.”
“Yeah?”
“Please, Alpha. Knot me!”
“Okay, baby. Listen closely, hmm?”
“Keep still.” In two mostly smooth movements, Bucky is lying on his back, Steve’s lean frame now straddling the alpha, lifting him by the waist; Bucky sinks Steve further on his cock.
“Ride me.”
As if without his permission, Steve’s moving above the bigger man.
Thick thighs feel even wider between Steve’s slightly smaller ones. Bucky’s hands come to Steve’s waist, helping him grind down harder, deeper.
Steve can’t keep his gaze from trailing down to where they’re connected. His hole swallowing 6 to 7 inches of monster alpha cock, and he could just cry for how hot it is to see them connected like this.
I wanna be locked to you. I want your knot!
“Eyes, Stevie!” Bucky snarls with another hash snap of his hips, impaling Steve further and hitting his prostate. The omega falls over, making sure to lock blue with grey.
Abandoning their vice grip on the alphas thighs, Steve steadies himself with one hand over his lover's heart, fingertips brushing the mating gland by his neck as the other grips the headboard above the bed, wood splintering under every shock of pleasure jolting through Steve in response to each of Bucky's strident thrusts.
“Oh, oh! D-Daddy. I’m gonna, I’m gonna cum!”
“Now that I’ve got you back, we won’t be leaving this room for much, Stevie. I want you on your knees sucking my big alpha cock. Licking up the evidence of what you do to me. I’ll hold you by your neck and force-feed it to you just like you like it.”
“B-Buck-eyy!”
“Yeah, baby, say my name. You’re beautiful. Angelic. A work of. Fucking. Art.” He punctuates his words with a sharp jerking of Steve’s body above him. Pulling his center as close as he can get him, knot swelling mercilessly and snagging on Steve’s rim.
Steve feels pleasure like he’s never felt before. Words slurred and hardly coherent,
“‘Wan’ yur k’nnot!”
He sounds drunk.
Bucky loves it!
“Not until you cum, baby doll. You first, then Daddy. Good boys get their rewards, and this is-” using Steve as a ragdoll, Bucky manhandles him into circular motions, twisting and penetrating the omegas sweet spot with wild precision.
One hand (Steve couldn’t even tell you which, mind too fuzzy and too loaded with his quickly approaching orgasm) presses into the omegas gorgeous tits before sweeping down to tug on Steve’s crying cock, pre-cum dribbling from its bright red head.
Steve cums with a shout, back arching and eyes struggling to stay open, finally shut. His vision whites out with pleasure, but he can’t bring himself to remember anything outside of this bliss. No world lived outside of these walls. Just him, his alpha, and all the pleasure Bucky brings him.
“Ohhh, Allphaa,”
“Yours. Yes! Oh, you feel- God so fucking tight, Stevie. Look ‘atchyou. Milking my cock, pussy squeezing my knot, beggin for it. Daddy’s gonna give it to you.”
“Gimme,” he whispers weakly.
He doesn’t feel Bucky flip him over or the hands pushing both his legs over Bucky’s shoulders, but the moment Bucky starts pumping in and out again, his body jolts awake, and all Steve wants is to make his alpha cum.
“Daddy’s gonna cum right inside your tight, perfect pussy. Yeah, Stevie. ugh!”
“Wan’ be...hmm.”, he tries to form words, but they die on his tongue, not coming down fast enough to entertain even a murmur of conversation.
Another 30 seconds passing before he has enough brain cells to return his gaze to stormy grey.
As always, Bucky’s eyes are already on him.
“That's all you got, Daddy?” The blonde snarks between pants, another orgasm building in his belly, toes curling, and his half-soft prick smushed and pulsating against Bucky's abs.
Bucky laughs around a moan, pulling Steve into another kiss before giving one, two, three more thrusts, shouting out a string of praise as his knot pops inside of his omega.
Steve’s heavy punched out sigh joins the shuddered fluttering of his hole, another wave of release escaping him.
The room fills with pants and sloppy kisses. Each man nosing along their scent glands, finding where a bond mark would go and lapping over it lovingly.
In the 40s, hiding their love was a matter of survival, and a surrender of their need to properly mate. They didn’t have to hide here. They could love each other and bite each other someday. Unified in the one way they spent most of their lives thinking they’d never have.
They Lie there, tied together even after Bucky’s knot goes down. Thoughts of taking that step-marking each other, on the tip of both of their tongues.
They lie there, bathing in the calm after the storm.
Sometime afterward:
After another round and many minutes of lazily making out, the pair rest beside each other, touching the other man wherever he could reach, tracing nonsense patterns into heated flesh and feeling happier than either had in 70 years.
“What were you sayin’, y’know before we… Y’know”, Steve blushes as if he wasn’t just face down ass up drooling over Tony’s Egyptian cotton sheets.
“Before you started crying for my knot, and I fucked you 6 ways from Sunday?”
“You’re a fucking jerk!”
“Nah, I’m just fucking a jerk.”, The alpha smiles, joy like nothing he’s been able to remember trips over his heart.
“I’m serious, Buck. Before we...did it”
“Ha!”
A sharp smack falls onto Buckys bare chest, “Fine! Before you came like a geyser up my ass-”
“Steve!” Bucky barks a laugh, loving the pink blush dusting over Steve’s cheeks despite the faux aggravation he was attempting to express.
“Will ya quit interrupting me? You fucking alphas are so rude!”
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, Stevie. What were you saying?” Bucky concedes, the shit-eating grin doing nothing for the butterflies swarming the omega’s insides.
“You were saying that you couldn’t decipher real from what’s fake?”
Sighing, Bucky cards his fingers through Steve’s hair, not stopping, when the omega turns onto his stomach, exposing his back and facing the brunette. Bucky smiles down at the omega letting his hand slide down to his spine, tracing the smooth pale skin with the tip of his finger.
It’s freeing, liberating even, to let his hands and eyes roam wherever they want. After so many years of separation, then being reunited only to build unnecessary obstacles designed for the sole purpose of self-sabotaging, somehow they’ve found themselves again in the other man’s arms.
Bucky bends down to press a gentle kiss on Steve’s shoulder, loving the way the omega shivers beneath his lips.
I could just eat him alive…
“Buuuuck,” Steve shakes his head, smiling at the alpha underneath long lashes.
“Sorry, baby, you just look so sexy.”
“Oh, do I? Maybe it has a little to do with all the naked skin?”
Smiling goofily, Bucky allows his voice to get al sweet, “C’mere, smartass.”
Bucky pulls a yelping Steve into his lap, effectively laying the slender omega over his broad alpha chest.
The feeling is exhilarating. Bucky feels his stomach swoop and heart skip a beat, feeling more accomplished in this solitary moment entangled with Steve than in months of SHIELD work.
Steve grins despite himself. Settling against Bucky's chest, folding his hands in front of him and resting his chin onto his knuckles. Suddenly thrilled by the position.
He can stare into Bucky's eyes forever, and he has a sneaking suspicion the alpha won’t protest.
Cold metal fingers trail down Steve’s spine, eliciting a gentle quiver from the blonde man, shamelessly beaming beneath the attention.
“I remember how scared I would get in the winter.”
Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion, lying his head down onto his forearms and urging the larger man with his eyes to continue.
“I love that I can make you shiver now. But I think it would’ve just about wrecked me with worry back then.”
Bucky's flesh hand curls across Steve’s exposed waist, letting his heat seal into his fingers. His eyes close in relief. Like he’s remembered something… or rather; reminded himself of something.
“ I remember the worry best. The sleepless nights and evenings spent bent over pews, praying no one could hear your name falling from my lips because then they’d know… Know how much I wanted you. Wanted you to live. Wanted you to love me. Wanted you to be my omega. I remember going to work at the docks and feeling the bike rise in my throat as we talked about chasing tail when all that I fucking wanted was to make it through my shift and run my way home to you.”
Steve smiles fondly at Bucky. His head remains rested in the crook of his right elbow but reaches forward with his left to trail patterns on Bucky’s scent gland. Trailing back from his neck to his cheek, he will never understand how helpful he is just by existing.
“ I remember wanting you. I know there has never been a moment in which I existed, and I didn’t love you, even under hydra. Even when they told me- made me go after you. They had to wipe me twice before I stopped fighting… I should’ve kept fighting.”
“Buck-“ Steve’s tone is soft and reprimanding in the way only Steve Rogers could manage, but it’s not enough. The tears build behind grey and crimson. Shame burning him from the inside.
Bucky shakes his head, trying to shake away Steve’s tender touch.
Leaning forward, Steve ignores the alphas dismissal, warm petal-soft lips find Buckys, and he presses his weight deeper into his alpha.
“I’m here. With you. You stopped, Buck. You never, not for a second, stopped fighting! That wasn’t you.” Steve’s tone was loving and firm in the way only Steve Rogers could ever manage- or could ever feel for Bucky Barnes.
Bucky's eyes find crystal blue, and for a moment, he’s thrust back into his mind, his heart thrashing and growling, crying Not him! Not Steve. Stop! God damn it! You’re hurting him! We can’t hurt him!
For a moment, Steve’s sweet pink cheeks are bruised and bleeding, split by Russian metal and the free will Bucky was robbed of.
“Bucky!” Steve whispers harshly, just on the edge of frantic, “ C’mon, alpha. Don’t leave me alone again.”
“I’m here.”, Bucky chokes out, “ I’m here, baby. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
They hold each other for, neither of them speaking. Foreheads pressed together between grabby hands pushing firmly against heated flesh.
A reminder…
I’m alive. You’re okay. We’re together.
“ I remember those things; that panic of possibly losing you, very easily,” Bucky continues, “ And then… it started as flashes. Split seconds. But god, did I chase after them. It would be something minimal at first. You lying down on the bed or smiling at me over a sketchbook. But then they changed, and your head was thrown back, and the things you were drawing were us-naked. And I started hating myself because my fucking crush on you was filtering in on my memories of you, and it wasn’t fair. It felt real, but I knew it wasn’t or-“
“But they are real, Buck. We’ve always been us. This way! Laws be damned! We loved each other, and no one was gonna tell us we couldn’t have that!”
“It didn’t matter, though,” Bucky adds.
Steve shoots up off his chest, kneeling on the mattress, and as naked as the day he was born. More hurt than he thought he could ever be in his alphas arms, “ Of course it did. How could you say that? Wha-”
Bucky sits up quickly, reaching out, but Steve swiftly evades him, feeling colder than Brooklyn in February.
“Steve-“
“No! How could you say that? It matters! We matter. You matter. I fucking matter, Bucky! I lost you. You died! You fell off that train, and my alpha died!” he cries,
“I flew that plane into the ocean not because Captain America’s nobility prevails, I did it because l was grieving and life wasn’t worth living without you.”
“Steve-“
“No! Shut. Up.” Steve growls, but it sounds more like a whine.
“I died too, Buck. And woke up to a life I didn’t want either. Not just like you. I know what you went through was unthinkably cruel. But living without you was a prison sentence. And I had no choice but to wear red, white, and blue in place of orange and serve out my life miserably and without you. And that mattered.”
“I know, Stevie, I know. I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant, baby.”
“Then how else did you mean it?”
“There were things that I saw or remembered-whatever! But neither matter because fantasy is something that can never happen, and if it’s a memory, it will never happen again.”
Steve can feel his heart breaking in his chest. Angry and more than a little offended, he can practically feel the anguish emanating from his alpha’s skin.
“Because you wouldn’t want the blood-soaked into my hands to touch you. To touch your pretty perfect body, so I say your name, and I can’t stop because my alpha is always just before feral, and you are the only thing keeping Me on the side of sane. I know you matter. You’re the only thing on this entire fucked up bullshit infested planet that matters!”
“But the thought of losing you based on things I simply wanted and not what you needed from me? It didn’t matter- nothing mattered beyond you. I thought you wanted Bucky Barnes, the closeted best friend. I couldn’t trust myself to believe you wanted me in the 40s, and I couldn’t hope that if you had, you’d want me still.”
“You’re an idiot,” Steve sighs, eyes misting, but he lets himself be drawn in by strong, vulnerable arms.
“...I think I understand what you mean, though.”
“Yeah?”
“I wanted to say I miss you ao many times. But then I just...couldn’t. I thought it wouldn’t change anything, so I just kept pretending I didn’t. But then there are days when I wake up, and the fact that it’s without you won’t let me pretend anymore.”
“Now, who’s the idiot?” Bucky chuckles, brushing strands of hair from those hypnotizing blue eyes.
Bucky lets the Sympathy, understanding pool from his scent and settle over Steve like a warm blanket.
Smiling, Steve takes the comfort from his alpha in stride, “Of course, I talk like an idiot, Buck. How else are you ‘posed to understand me?”
Huffing a quick laugh, the ex-assassin feels all the love for this omega shine in a smile, “You’re such a fuckin’ punk, y’know that little omega?”
“ I’m your fuckin’ Punk, and besides, I’m not so little anymore.”
Whatever faithless semblance of decency they had left swiftly deteriorates as Bucky fully settles Steve into his lap, lying back into the cushions and pulling the duvet over them both.
He presses a soft kiss on Steve’s forehead and whispers with as much meaning he can muster, “You’re perfect, omegamine. Fuckin’ perfect! Perfect for me, you hear?”
Steve releases a joyful giggle,” I hear. Are we going to sleep, Alpha?”
“Yep!”
Snuggling deeper into the alpha’s chest, Steve feels content for the first time in what feels like forever, loving how perfectly he still fits in Bucky's arms, even all beefed up by the serum. Not a single gap between them.
“You comfortable, sweetheart?” Bucky asks happily. Certainly hearing and feeling Steve’s pleased purring.
“ I’m warm,” The omega mumbles, exhaustion barreling into him.
“Good. Sleep, Stevie. We'll talk more in the morning.”
Steve doesn’t respond, just nuzzles into his alpha more until his nose is close enough to the source of the brunette’s scent, humming satisfaction as he sniffs pleasantly.
“I never thought I’d get to have this. That you’d be in my arms like this. I thought I’d spend the rest of my life just pining after you-loving you. I love you, omegamine. I love you so much.”
Steve replies in soft snores, but Bucky doesn’t care. He presses a kiss to the top of ruffled blonde hair and falls asleep with a smile on his face.
He doesn't mind that Steve fell asleep because nothing else matters besides his blue-eyed beauty. Not when he has this. Not when Steve is soft and asleep and warm. He has the rest of his life to tell his omega he loves him.
One thing is for sure.
Bucky will never stop saying Steve’s name.
#marvel universe#stucky#the winter soldier#post serum steve#mutual pining#romance#fanfiction#bucky barnes smut#ao3fic#smut with feelings#idiots in love#mcu fandom#bamf steve#love confessions#love#alpha/omega#abo dynamics#alpha bucky#omega steve rogers#right in the feels#all the feels
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Never Enough
||part two||
pairing: steve rogers x reader
summary: each time steve left you it felt as though your heart had been ripped out your chest, until he left you again and it allowed you to realise that there was more to life than having steve rogers love you.
warnings: slight angst
word count: 2.2k
||main masterlist||steve rogers masterlist||
There have been multiple occasions in which Steve Rogers left you. It began before you were even dating and it never got easier to shake that feeling of heartbreak and betrayal. The sensation of never being good enough was overwhelming
Sharon Carter:
The first woman to interest Steve once he came out of the ice was Miss Sharon Carter. The super soldier always said he felt a pull to the woman and that something about her was familiar and almost comforting.
“Look I’m telling you she wouldn’t say no if you asked the woman is very clearly interested in you.” You heard Nat exclaim confused as to who she could be speaking too. “No, it would be too awkward if things went wrong. We’d still have to work together and it would cause problems.” Was the response you heard from Steve your heart pounding as you thought he’d finally began to return your feelings. After spending everyday together helping the man get accustomed to everyday life in the 21st century it was almost impossible to not fall for the soldier. Always a gentleman holding doors open, protecting you from your darkest thoughts and even holding you after a bad dream. “Steve, Sharon is always asking after you.” Just like that your dream shattered.
Once Steve asked the blonde out your friendship continued, late night lessons on how to work modern day technology was common. “Sharon keeps sending me these faces and I don’t know what they mean.” Just like that you were forced to remember you never stood a chance with Steve and you’d only ever be the girl who helped him adjust. “Oh well they can mean all diff.” Your sentence became stuck in your throat when you read the words on Steve’s screen.
Can you not ditch her?
No she’s so fucking annoying. Basically forced me to become her friend.
Seeing Steve speak about you in such a way brought you to tears. “I’m sorry, I just remembered Tony needed me.” You said fleeing before the soldier had a chance to respond .
Soon after this your friendship with Steve began to crumble. You’d find any excuse to not hang out with him and when you did see him he’d usually abandon you for Sharon. Your place in the man's life eventually became clear. It was after a particularly draining mission that the soldier approached you and said, “Hey look Sharon isn’t very happy with us hanging out. So I guess I’ll see you around.” With that he walked away choosing Sharon over you.
An intense loneliness overcame you in the following months, the loss of your friend never getting easier.
James Buchan Barnes:
It was only three months later when Steve and Sharon broke up. He found out she was the niece of Peggy Carter and felt deceived by her. Soon after their breakup Steve begged for you to forgive him and you did believing he was blinded by new feelings. However, when another six months passed and Steve left you again you started to doubt anything he ever told you.
During the six months leading up to Steve’s departure the two of you became more than just friends. He was determined to regain your trust and you worked hard to rebuild your friendship. “What you read that day. I promise I didn’t mean it. Sharon kept complaining about our friendship so I’d agree to shut her up and then she wanted us to stop being friends and I just didn’t want to make the same mistakes I made with Peggy.” The super soldier explained his eyes showing nothing but sincerity. After that everything went back to normal, until Steve kissed you unexpectedly “Sorry it’s just after all this time together I’ve realised I’ve always liked you and I” Cutting Steve off you pulled him in for another kiss and just like that your friendship changed into a relationship. Which is why it hurt more when Steve decided you weren’t enough once again.
2016:
With the accords hanging over the team and you being away on a mission Steve felt as though he was going to lose it and what finally pushed him over the edge was Tony signing the accords and wanting revenge on Bucky for what he did whilst he was under the control of hydra.
When you returned from your mission and found The Avengers Compound half empty you were beyond confused until agony explained what had happened whilst you were away. “The Senator was pissed after Sokovia so he presented us with accords, they stated the Avengers would be under the control of the US Government and that they would decide what crises we responded to half of us signed and half didn’t which branded them as enemies of state. So, half are free and the others are either on the run, on house arrest or they’re locked up at the Raft. Your precious Steve left! He chose not to sign the accords and then fled with the man responsible for murdering my parents! But I found them because I was angry and I wanted revenge. I wanted Bucky to pay for what he did and instead the two of them beat the shit out of me and left together. Steve didn’t know if was dead or alive and he walked away. I asked him about you and what I was supposed to tell you and he told me you were the least of his worries and that you'd be fine without him. He left again! Once again someone else meant more to Steve Rogers!” By the time Tony finished explaining you were heartbroken once again and it was by the same man.
This time around you didn’t have long to mope about the situation as the world needed saving from a mad Titan and that was more important than your feelings. The team was forced to reunite and you had to see the man who crushed you without the help of your emotional support as he was currently in space. “Okay team! Tony and Peter are sitting this one out. We don’t have Wanda or Vision and the Hulk is MIA so we need to give it our all.” Once this was said you all began to fight praying for the best outcome and that once it was over you’d be able to flee without speaking to Steve.
The fight felt like it would never end and it only got worse when Thanos appeared eager to take the mind stone from Vision. As the team flung themselves at the Titan in hopes of stopping him they were quickly manipulated by the powers the infinity stones held and it became obvious that you weren’t going to win this one. “You should have gone for the head.” The Titan said before disappearing, as you looked around you saw the people you loved turning into dust. “Steve.” As you turned you saw Bucky’s gun drop before he disappeared. At the end all that was left of the team was; yourself, Thor, Bruce, Nat, Rodey and Steve.
2020:
It had been years since half the universe dusted and disappeared, the team has gone their separate ways leaving only yourself, Nat and Steve in the compound. Once again Steve began to beg for your forgiveness and it came after the first few months of being alone. “I never told Tony you were the least of my worries, yes I did say you’d be okay without me because you were the first time. I didn’t expect it to take years before I could see you again. I assumed it would only be three months minimum. I love you and I want to be with you.” Steve knew exactly what to say to make you fall under his spell.
During the years everyone was away Steve and you had become inseparable and got married after a few heard of being back together. Your relationship was amazing and it seemed as though nothing would come between you.
Endgame 2023:
It had been a while since the team had seen one another, five years to be exact, the last encounter ended with Steve and Tony arguing which once again caused a rift in the team. This time around the two men had managed to put their differences aside and work together on bringing back the ones they lost. “We have enough Pym particles for one round trip each. So be careful.” With that statement everyone parted ways and began the search for each infinity stone.
“So what made you take the douche back?” Tony asked as you searched 2012 New York for the Tesseract. “Well he was the only one there for me after everyone disappeared. You got stuck in space and came back to Earth pissed off and then took off. Leaving me with Romanoff and Rogers.” Once you had finished explaining the unamused expression was still plastered across Tony’s face. “I still don’t trust him so be careful, you can’t ensure he won’t leave you again.” After that your search continued in silence until the pair of you reunite with your husband “Let’s locate Loki, get the tesseract and go home, the quicker we bring everyone back the quicker we can retire baby.” with the plan in place the three of you were praying it would be executed properly.
Eventually after a few twists and turns everyone arrived back to the compound. Well almost everyone Nat was lost along the way which caused a great sadness to plague the team but also gave everyone a reason to fight harder. “We need to bring everyone back for Natasha, she wouldn't wan” your speech was cut off by a large explosion that took down the Avengers Compound, Thanos was back and he wanted the stones.
It had been a long and hard battle. The loss of Tony had everyone devastated but it also gave everyone time to think about how lucky they were to be alive and to have been brought back “They need someone to return the stones back to the exact time we stole them from.” Your husband said hinting he had already accepted the role. “As long as you come back in one piece I’m happy for you to go.” Never in your life did you expect to regret a set of words as much as those ones.
Peggy Carter:
The day of Steve returning the stones arrived and everything seemed normal, until it wasn't “Bruce, it’s been 10 seconds why isn’t he back yet?” Sam questioned his voice riddled with anxiety “I don’t know he’s way off the chart.” Bruce replied panicking, you knew almost instantly what had happened and that feeling of worthlessness began to consume you once again. So caught up in your own thoughts Bucky’s voice made you jump, “He’s not coming back.” The soldier said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.
Once back in the privacy of your own home you let your tears fall; everything had been taken from you in seconds. You lost your best friend, then your biggest supporter and finally your husband. “I guess, it's just you and I, little one.” you spoke to your stomach your big surprise for Steve ruined but you were prepared to keep going on your own.
Three Years Later:
It has been three years since Steve abandoned you, your little one was now 2 and you had given birth to a handsome boy who you had named James Anthony Rogers. During your pregnancy yourself and Bucky became close and he helped you every step of the way even now with a grumpy toddler the super soldier would come over everyday to see what was left of his best friend. Until one day he brought an Uber locked guest, “Mumma, uncle Bucky is here and he’s brought a friend.” Your son said, stumbling some of his words.
When you entered your living room you were gobsmacked at who was standing in front of you smiling as if nothing had happened. “Hey little man, how about you show me your Lego’s whilst mumma speaks to her friend.” Bucky said taking your son upstairs and leaving you alone with your ex husband. “You're still as beautiful as I remember. I knew straight away that I was making a mistake but I wanted to be selfish. I wanted the life I was meant to have, so I went to Peggy and I spent every minute thinking about you and trying to find a way back to you. When I got back Bucky told me about James and I knew I needed to get here.” By the time Steve was done your anger could barely be contained “You wanted to be selfish. Steve, you've been selfish from the start leaving me everytime something better comes along. I can’t have that anymore. I have my child to think about.” Steve stared at you in a state of shock not used to being told no. “I want to be here for the both of you. Baby I’m in love with you and I want to get to know our son.” Your ex said “Steve you can be here for your son but that it we’re nothing. Because I cannot trust you and there’s more to life than having a man love you.” Once you had finished with your speech you allowed Steve to meet his son and their bond was quickly built.
Whilst yourself and Steve continued to work on co-parenting and how to navigate your future together, your friends all had bets on how long it would be until you got back together.
#steve rogers x female reader#steve rodgers x reader#steve rogers x y/n#steve rogers x f!reader#steve rogers fic#steve rogers fandom#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers and the 21st century#steve rogers and reader#captain america#captain america x reader#marvel headcanons#marvel#marvel fanfic series#the avengers#chris evans x reader#chris evans x female reader#chris evans fandom#chris evans steve rogers
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New Captain: Part 5
Steve Rogers x Daughter!reader, Sam Wilson x Teen!reader, Bucky Barnes x Teen!reader
Previous Part
Bucky found a way for all three of you to get to Germany and to the prison where Zemo was being held. On the way, he had told you what his plan was. You and Sam were both a bit hesitant about it but you knew it was necessary. Zemo was the only person who could help you find the remaining of the serum and he most likely had contacts that could be helpful.
“Okay I’m going to go alone,” Bucky said once the guard had shown you were to go.
“Let me go also,” you argued, “He knows who I am.”
“Exactly,” Bucky said, “He hates supersoldiers and if I show up with the kid of the one he hates the most, do you really think he’d want to help Y/n?”
“But-”
“Y/n,” Sam said softly, “He’s right. He’ll probably use Steve against you and trust me, that won’t end up good for anyone. It’s better if you and I stay out here.”
“So you’re going to let Bucky go and talk to the man who framed him for murder alone? Great plan Sam,” you said sarcastically.
“I’m not a fan of it either but it’s the best way,” Sam explained, “Just be quick,” Sam said to Bucky, “We’ll manage.”
Bucky nodded before he opened up the door that led to Zemo’s cell and disappeared down the hallway.
“He’ll be fine, right?” you asked, glancing over at Sam.
“Yeah. Bucky can handle his own,” Sam responded. He needed to clear the air between you two. He could tell there was still tension on your part and he didn’t want it to affect the plan, “Y/n?”
“Hmm?” you asked.
“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for giving up the shield but I was being honest when I said I didn’t know it would go to someone else,” he said.
“Sam,” you started, “You didn’t just give it away, you kept it a secret from me. That’s why I’m pissed. You could’ve had the decency to just tell me.”
“Yeah? Well you were too pissed off at anything and everything for me to even get a word in,” he said, “Even if I tried to talk to you, you’d just leave.”
“Oh I’m sorry,” you said mockingly, “I’m sorry that my dad abandoned me for some woman he hasn’t seen in decades and then came back and died right in front me. I’m sorry that I can’t just magically be okay with everything and move on.”
“Y/n we were all trying to help you but you wouldn't let us.”
“The only person who could ever help me is my dad. And guess what Sam? He’s dead so just drop it.”
“There’s so much more in the world than your dad Y/n,” Sam said, “I know it’s harsh to hear but you have to let whatever grudge you’re holding on to go.”
“Really?” you scoffed, “For the longest time, my dad was the only thing I had. I had no one else and you expect me to act like he wasn’t my world? You’re crazy Sam.”
“Y/n let me-”
“No,” you said, cutting him off, “Just drop it. I don’t want to talk anymore,” you stepped away from him and sat down on the floor, up against the wall. You waited for Sam to try and talk to you again but he stayed silent. You wanted to forgive him. You wanted him to know you weren’t really angry at him, just the world and he was the easiest target. The truth is, Sam was being the most helpful and the most considerate. He gave you space and never pushed. Anything you wanted or needed, he went out of his way to get it for you. He was trying and the least you could do was try back.
“Sam?” you asked quietly.
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry I’m being difficult,” you said softly. You sniffed, holding in your tears. It was the first time you were finally opening up.
“You’re not being difficult Y/n. You’re grieving and it’s my fault for not helping you more,” he said, moving over to sit next to you.
You shook your head, “You’ve done more than enough Sam. You’re being so nice to me and trying everything to help me but I’ve been a bitch.”
“And understandably so Y/n,” Sam said, turning to face you, “You just lost your dad. I’d be worried if you weren’t acting like this.”
You looked up to face him, “Still. I’ve been way out of line and you don’t deserve that. I’m sorry,” you let your tears finally fall down your face. You used the sleeve of your sweatshirt to wipe them off your face, “I’m sorry Sam.”
“It’s okay,” he said. He slowly wrapped an arm around your shoulders, testing the waters. When you wrapped your arms around him, he knew it was okay to pull you into a hug, “Look, anything you’ve said or done can be forgiven and forgotten. I won’t hold it against you but I really need you to talk to me or talk to Bucky,” he said, “Or if you need time to calm down or you just need space, take it. No questions asked.”
“God I don’t deserve any of this,” you said, pulling out of Sam’s grasp, “You trying to help me, Bucky being so protective. I feel so guilty now.”
“Don’t feel guilty Y/n. You have had so much happen to you and that’s what you don’t deserve,” Sam said, “You don’t deserve any of the bad cards you’d been dealt.”
“Thanks,” you said, hugging Sam again, “And I also want to add that I’m not too mad about the shield. I understand why you don’t want it. I just wish you told me before I found out from the news.”
“I know and I’m sorry for that. I wanted to tell you and ask you before but I didn’t know how you’d react. I think it was a lose-lose situation.”
You nodded. Before you could say another word, loud sirens echoed throughout the hallway and the door to where the cells were flung open. Bucky walked quickly through the frame, “Let’s go,” he said.
“What’s happening?” you asked alarmed.
“Fight in the prison,” he said, putting his hand on your shoulder and leading you out of the building, Sam close behind, “Let’s hurry before they lock us in here.”
~~~~~
“We’re not breaking Zemo out of jail!” Sam exclaimed, “Absolutely not.”
“He’s our only lead Sam. We need his help,” Bucky argued.
“He’s dangerous and if anyone finds out we broke him out, it’s over,” he said, signaling to the three of you, “No way of getting out of that.”
Bucky looked over at you and saw the classic Rogers thinking face, “Y/n?” Bucky asked, “What are you thinking?”
“No,” Sam said, “Don’t put this decision on her.”
“It’s her plan,” Bucky said back.
“No, it's your plan.”
“She wanted to take the shield back. It’s her plan.”
“You want to break an international felon out of jail. It’s your plan.”
“Guys!” you yelled, putting an end to their bickering. They both shut up quickly and let you talk, “Let’s hear Bucky’s plan. If it’s plausible, we’ll do it,” you said.
“You’re talking about breaking Zemo, the man who framed him,” Sam motioned to Bucky, “For the murder of a king and a bombing, and something being plausible, in the same sentence Y/n? Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds?”
“Let’s just hear him out,” you suggested.
“Thank you Y/n,” Bucky said, glad you were defending him.
“Hang on,” you said, turning to him, “I said if it was plausible, we’d do it. It’s still a fifty -fifty okay?”
“Better than what he said,” Bucky said, moving his head in Sam’s direction. His little joke there made you crack a smile, the first one any of them had seen in months. Bucky nudged your shoulder lightly, “There’s that smile I missed,” he said softly.
“Oh shut up,” you said, replacing your smile with a frown and smacking him in the arm, “Just tell us your plan.”
“Why ask him when I’m right here,” you heard a man say from somewhere else in the room.
You spun around and was face to face with Zemo, “Bucky what the hell?” you asked, spinning back around to face him, “A little heads up would have been nice.”
“I didn’t think you would say yes,” he said, “You know the saying, ask for forgiveness, not permission.”
“If I may-”
“No,” Sam snapped at Zemo, “Really?” he turned to face Bucky, still keeping Zemo in his field of vision, “What did you do?”
“We need him, Sam. And clearly the plan was successful and Y/n said if the plan worked, she’d be okay with it. I’d say it worked,” Bucky argued, “When the accords were signed, you backed up Steve and all of us. Just do it once more.”
“Can I ju-”
“No,” Sam snapped at Zemo again. He then looked to you but he couldn’t read your expression well. It was a mix of curiosity and timidness, like a small child seeing a new bug for the first time. Sam didn’t agree with what he was about to say but he knew it was what you wanted, “Fine,” he said. He glanced over at Zemo and pointed at him, “But you don’t make a move without our permission? Got it?”
Zemo nodded, “Fair enough.”
“Because I’m not going to let the kid get in trouble for whatever bullshit you plan on causing,” Sam said.
“Of course,” Zemo said. He finally turned his attention to you, “It’s nice to see you again Y/n.”
“Wish I could say the same,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.
“I’ve been wondering how Captain America’s daughter has been since I saw her last and since,” he cocked his head to the side, “Since his sad and early departure.”
“You keep his name out of your mouth,” you hissed, “Otherwise I’ll-”
“Y/n,” Sam warned, “Remember what we talked about earlier?”
You huffed, taking a step back from Zemo and taking in a deep breath to calm yourself.
“We better get going then,” Zemo said, “I’ll lead the way.”
Taglist
@ehggowo @evans-dejong @kaitieskidmore1 @halzore @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @hallecarey1 @unusualchaoszoe @yeetyeetchickenmeat @play-morezeppelin @depressed-barnes @fangirllife98
#x daughter!reader#x teen!reader#steve rogers x teen!reader#steve rogers#steve rogers x daughter!reader#steve rogers daughter#steve rogers fanfiction#bucky barnes x teen!reader#bucky barnes x teen#bucky barnes fanfiction#sam wilson x teen!reader#sam wilson#bucky barnes#fatws sam#fatws bucky#new captain
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Choices- Part 3
*got the gif from google
Word Count: 5,739
Requested: by me, inspired by a TikTok POV
Story Description: After the snap (Y/N) and Steve decided to shift their friendship into a romantic relationship. After the Battle of Earth, and Thanos’s ultimate defeat, Steve had to travel back in time to return the stones, but what (Y/N) doesn’t know is he’s not returning. The man leaves to his best friend the hard task to break the news to his lover. But what will happen if Steve returns in an unexpected manner?
Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader
Part: 3/3 (?)
Warnings: language
A/N: Final part, maybe. Let me know if you'd like an extra part where there's a resolution between the parties involved.
Follow Me!
<- Previous | Next ->
***
The days went on and Bucky and (Y/N) were basking in the honeymoon stage of their newfound relationship, taking it one day at a time. Their friends were proud that they both had found happiness and solace in each other. Wanda had been walking around, a proud look on her face, gloating that she had made that happen. Missions had been going smoother, training had been exceptional; everything seemed to be falling into place. Before they knew it three months had passed since Steve’s disappearance.
On the other hand, Bruce Banner had been working hard to track down their estranged leader. He had been getting tips of possible sightings of men that looked like the Captain but finding an old white man in New York wasn’t an easy task. Until his mindsight changed; the tips he was receiving were of a younger Steve Rogers because he hadn’t lived a whole life, he had come back the same Captain he had left.
“I’ve got you now,” the hybrid smiled as he stared at the monitor in front of him.
He passed all the information he had on the national hero on a tablet and went to relay the information to the rest of the team. Bruce found Wanda and Sam talking in the kitchen over a cup of coffee. What he didn’t know is that Bucky and (Y/N) were close by and would be an audience to his announcement.
“Guys, I think I’ve finally found Steve,” he showed them the tablet.
“How do we really know it’s him?” Sam questioned, tired of following useless leads.
“The reason we weren’t finding him is that we were searching for an old man in the midst of New York’s elderly. But what if he never actually turned old?” Banner mused. “We know he went back in time; we know he strayed from the destined year loop; what we never pinpointed is if he lived a full life or came back at some point the same Steve that left. And that’s what we were missing, Steve is only a year or two older than when he traveled back in time. I have an informant that says he’s living at an apartment complex in Brooklyn. Sam, Wanda, maybe you could pop over and have a look.”
“I’ll do it,” (Y/N) spoke up.
Bucky and she had been walking down the hallways when they heard Bruce’s news. Her knees went weak at the sound of Steve’s name, Bucky serving as a stabilizer for her limp body. The girl knew there was a possibility the team was looking for Steve, but she never believed they would ever find him, let alone the young Steve they knew. She assumed they’d meet an old Steve, someone she would be able to forgive; not the man that had betrayed her and caused her the most pain she had ever felt.
“You don’t have to do that, (Y/N),” Wanda bargained. “We aren’t even certain if it’s him.”
“I don’t care. I want to check it out. Please.”
“I’ll go with her,” Bucky chimed. His hand rested on the low of her back, giving his partner the reassurance she needed at the moment. It didn’t go unnoticed by (Y/N), who returned a smile to the man.
“Guys, this might be too hard on you both. Maybe you should leave that to us.”
“Thanks for worrying, Wilson. But we need to do this.” (Y/N) nodded, agreeing with Bucky’s interception. They both needed closure from the man that had decided to abandon them three months ago. “Banner, send us the info. We’ll let you know anything that happens.”
“If you say so,” he mumbled.
Bucky and (Y/N) retired into their now shared bedroom to prepare for the mission. Although they were possibly going to see Steve, they had to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. Silence fell upon the room as each of them zipped up and strapped in parts of their suits, the weight of what would happen burdening their mind.
“Are you sure you want to do this, (Y/N)?” Bucky finally adding sound to the room.
“No, but I know I have to. We deserve to close that chapter in our lives; not for his peace of mind, but for ours. He got to get away unscathed, we were the ones left to pick up the pieces.”
“I just don’t want you to be doing this for revenge, darling.” He closed the distance between them and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You deserve better than reopening old wounds.”
“I know, baby. Thank you for looking out for me, but I wanna do this for you too. Not only did he leave you to bear the bad news, but he also left his best friend behind. You deserve better too.”
“Okay, doll.” He placed a quick kiss on her lips. “Do you have any sort of game plan?”
“Wing it?”
“Wing it it is,” he chuckled.
They left their room and met with Bruce and Sam at the front of the building. The car they were to take was already running and the information had been loaded up on the panel.
“Now, whatever happens, don’t turn off the tracker in your suits. We don’t know if you will actually encounter Steve. For all we know this could be a setup, so you must be careful,” Bruce advised. “Leave your earpieces on to receive, if you don’t want us to hear anything you can turn off the broadcasting mode.”
“Thanks, Bruce,” (Y/N) smiled.
“Make good choices, kids.” Sam joked. Bucky and (Y/N) smiled at him and closed their respective doors, waving goodbye to their worried friends.
The 30-minute drive went by faster than they expected. Reality finally set in when they parked in front of the beige-colored run-down building. Her hands had started shaking without her knowledge and her breathing started hitching in her throat. Bucky noticed the change in her and grabbed her hands in his.
“Come on, (Y/N), breathe with me. In and out.” She followed his example until her breath regulated. “Good, darling. That’s good. If this is too much, you can just stay in the car.’’
“No, I want to do this,” she retorted. “I have to do this.”
Bucky gave her an understanding smile and helped her to get out of the car. “Okay, Bruce said the apartment was 4C.”
(Y/N) nodded and followed behind Bucky as they made their way up the stairs. They were met with a wide array of characters the resided in the building, a far contrast to the Captain’s life in the tower. Four flights and a long hallway later, the couple was faced with a rusted gold 4C plaque hanging on a yellow-stained door. This was it, the moment that would confirm or deny the existence of a young Steve Rogers in their timeline.
(Y/N)’s hand raised slowly and left two knocks on the door; Bucky’s hand on her back providing the needed comfort to continue with this mission. There was no going back now.
“That was fast. How much do I owe you?”
There he was. She started at the figure in front of her stuck in a trance. The blonde man that was standing before her was the same man that had promised a quick return what felt like a lifetime ago. (Y/N) breath hitched in her throat, leaving a squeezing feeling in her chest.
Steve hadn’t noticed them at first, too busy searching in his wallet for the change he never heard. That was the moment he looked up and was met with the last two people he thought her would encounter. His jaw fell open as he stared at his best friend and ex-girlfriend straight on.
“(Y/N),” he finally spoke. “Bucky.”
“Hi, Steve,” Bucky spoke dryly, noticing that (Y/N) couldn’t form the words.
“Um, come in.” He moved out of the way and allowed passage to the two people in front of him. It took a small nudge from Bucky to get (Y/N) moving, but her feet moved one after the other, the door closing behind them.
The apartment was simple. A one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment that held the bare necessities. There was a fully equipped kitchenette and enough space for a three-seater couch, a side chair, and a four-seater dining table. It was comfortable enough for a single man. Steve motioned for them to have a seat on the couch as he planted himself on the leather side chair, the three of them keeping a necessary distance.
“How did you find me?” Steve was the first one to speak up once again.
“Bruce never stopped searching when you didn’t come back that day. He was actually looking for a decrepit 90-year-old, but here you are the pure image of health.” (Y/N) noticed the anger building up in Bucky and unconsciously laid her hand on his forearm to keep his calm; a movement that did not go unnoticed by Steve, who stared at her hand. “How does one do that, Steve? How does one live more than sixty years and appear in front of everyone the 39-year-old he used to be?”
“Well, it’s safe to assume that I didn’t spend sixty years in the past. I actually came back that same day,” he confessed. “I only spent about two years in the forties; finally got to dance with Peggy. I, um, appeared in the same spot that day and saw you guys before you left.”
That had struck the wrong chord in (Y/N). “Three months.”
“Huh?”
“It took three months for me to rebuild myself. Get over a breakup that never took place, move on from a man that had the audacity to leave me without saying the words.”
“(Y/N), I…”
“THREE. FUCKING. MONTHS, Steve. And this whole time you were passing your time thirty minutes away from us, while we were left to acclimate to the thought of you one of these days possibly just passing away after living a supposed life that you would miss out on.” (Y/N) bit the inside of her cheek, doing her very best to hold back the tears the threatened her ducts. She would not give him that satisfaction.
“I thought that’s what was best. I didn’t do my original plan and I didn’t want you to have gone through what you did for nothing.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, Captain fucking America, the noblest man out there.” Sarcasm was laced in her words; venom the only thing she could spout. “Do you know how many nights I cried for you; let the tears run out until I could barely breathe? I didn’t function as a human being for a whole month. I didn’t eat, barely slept, I couldn’t even hold a conversation that didn’t include one-worded answers. Our friends had to strip me off our bed, hide alcohol bottles, your cologne, your clothes. But I wanted to hold onto the only things I had of you, because you left me.”
“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t know. I thought…”
“I LOVED you, Steve. I gave my everything to you and believed you when you coaxed your way into my personal life with the promise of a life together. I TRUSTED YOU! I gave you my whole heart and you crushed it in your hands with a fucking letter. You left your best friend to pick up the pieces for you, because you were too much of a fucking coward to face me yourself. You cleaned your hands off this whole mess and were going to have a beautiful, picture-perfect life with your long-lost love. Ironically, you were too much of a coward to even do that.” Her words tasted red to everyone in the room. Her anger palpable, understandably so.
“You have to believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt either of you.” His words sounded sincere, but the pair in front of him couldn’t find it in themselves to believe him.
“That’s grand,” Bucky commented. He knew he would mostly stay quiet during the confrontation, but this just slipped out.
“I’m telling the truth, Buck.”
“How did you expect this all exactly to play out? You would leave her, sit on a bench and have us all hold hands and sing kumba-fucking-ya? Is that it?”
“Well, not exactly. I knew there’d be some getting used to it. But call me cynical, I thought you guys would understand why I did it.”
“So, why did you come back? Why didn’t you stay with her?”
“It doesn’t matter now, (Y/N). There’s no need to dig that up.”
“It’s what matters the most! This reason had to be a godsend for you to hurt so many people but still come back without achieving your goal.”
“Seriously, it’s not that important.”
“Steve,’’ she spoke sternly. “Talk.”
A sigh left his mouth and he stood from his chair. He was debating whether to tell the truth or an appeasing lie, thinking on the war that could set off in his living room. “Fine. I did go back to see Peggy, starting with the dance I had promised her. Everything was going great, but it didn’t feel right. We mostly just worked for those two years, but we never got closer. The life I thought I would have never started.”
“So, what changed?” Bucky asked.
“I, um, realized I couldn’t form a life with Peggy because my feelings for her had changed.” He ran his hands through his face, bracing himself for the reaction his next sentence would bring. “I realized I was still in love with you, (Y/N).”
Bucky’s metal arm clenched, ready to make contact with the Captain’s face. It took all of (Y/N)’s strength to hold him back. He was heaving, his chest rising and falling at a fast rate.
“You don’t get to say that, Steve.” She stood in front of Bucky, acting as a barrier between the two disputing friends. “You don’t get to say I was the reason you came back when I wasn’t a good enough reason for you to stay.”
“Why do you think I couldn’t face you head-on, (Y/N)? I knew if I told you, I would have stayed, and I didn’t want to burden you with my feelings of regret. The years would have gone by and we would still be dwelling on what could have been.”
“Awfully kind of you to assume how I would react, Captain. How selfish do you think I am? I was the one that was there when Peggy died. I saw how much you loved her. For five years I always knew I fell second place to her, but I still gave it my all, despite my doubts on your feelings. All these years I felt inadequate to be by your side. It feels good to know I wasn’t.” (Y/N) turned to the man that was standing behind her, his face red with anger. “Buck, why don’t you go start the car? I think we’re just about done here.”
“Are you sure?” His eyes softened when directing his gaze at her.
“Yeah.” Her hand landed on his chest as confirmation. “I’ll let you know if I need you.”
“Okay, I’ll be right downstairs.” His stare fell on Steve once more, burning a hole where his head stood. Bucky walked past him, harshly bumping his shoulder, and closed the door behind him.
“Safe to assume you’ve already moved on.”
“Don’t, Steve.”
“What? Just stating the obvious.” His face had grown green with envy. Now that Bucky wasn’t here, he could front his emotions.
“Fine, Steve, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I did move on. I moved on because the man I had loved for five long years vanished from my life. I fell in love with the one that stayed to pick up the pieces; the one that cared for me. The man that saw me in a horrible state and did not give up. The person that gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. I moved on because even if every fiber of my being was telling me to give up, he made me smile.” She couldn’t help the tears that were now falling down her cheeks; her walls were crumbling. “I moved on because when you left, he stuck around. You don’t get to be jealous, Steve. Not when it’s all your fault.”
She walked towards the door, with no resolution to the situation, but she couldn’t spend another second in that apartment.
“I haven’t given up, (Y/N).” Those words halted her walk. She stood frozen in the doorframe. “I will fight to the end to have you back, baby doll.”
“Don’t call me that,” she spoke through gritted teeth. “You don’t have the right. Keep fighting, Steve. You’re the only one left in this war.”
(Y/N) closed the door behind her and ran down the stairs. The tears had finally opened a floodgate, and her vision was becoming blurry with the liquid. Right now, she just wanted to be with the person that could make it all go away.
Bucky leaned on the passenger side of the car; his arms crossed tightly as he let his anger boil down. But when he saw his girl crying, all emotions were replaced with the need to comfort her. He opened his arms and she crashed directly onto his chest, tears quickly staining his shirt. He soothed her by running his gloved hand through her hair and providing a squeeze with the other to hold her as close as he could. Bucky looked back up to the building and noticed Steve was looking down. He noted the anger that was evident on Steve’s face, indicative of the jealousy he held for his new relationship. Although they had hoped for it, they knew their paths were going to cross after today.
“Why don’t we go, darling?” She looked up at him and nodded.
Their arrival was long-awaited back in the tower. They hadn’t called in for backup, so they assumed they were met with Steve. What they didn’t know is what happened in the building.
The elevator made all the heads in the living room turn to it. As the doors opened, they revealed Bucky carrying (Y/N) in his arms. She had no energy left in her and had fallen asleep on the ride home. Buck noticed all the curious stares from the trio that sat on the couch, shaking his head to notify they would be turning in for the day.
In the room, Bucky laid (Y/N) softly on the bed and started undressing her from the tight-fitted suit and putting her in one of his t-shirts. Luckily, the movement didn’t wake her up and he was able to tuck her in before going to take a shower. The hot water eased his muscles and released the tension he had been holding since the meeting. He had always thought there was nothing that could come between him and his childhood friend, but he was wrong. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. If it came down to Steve and (Y/N), he would continue to choose her without a doubt.
It was 3 am and he still hadn’t been able to fall asleep. He was propped up on his left elbow, admiring (Y/N)’s face as she slept, and was running his right hand through her hair. Then, (Y/N) stirred awake, a smile playing on her face at the view.
“Hey, handsome, haven’t slept?” She spoke in a groggy tone.
“Not tired,” he smiled down at her.
“You should be.” She turned and looked at the clock on her bedside table. “It’s 3 am. You should have been sleeping hours ago.”
“And miss all this beauty? Wouldn’t dream of it.” He chuckled. “So, what happened after I left?”
“Bucky,” she sat up. “We don’t have to talk about that.”
“Darling, it had to be significant if it left you like it did.” His right hand found her cheek, and he stared as she closed her eyes to the touch.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Bucky.”
“It’ll hurt me more to wonder.”
“Fine,” she sighed. “He said he hadn’t given up on us and that he would continue to fight to get me back.”
“That fucking punk.” His fist clenched in anger. How dare Steve say something like that? After all this time he continued to be selfish. (Y/N) put her hand on his chest, rubbing circles to calm him down. “Would you ever go back to him?”
The question had taken her aback. She thought Bucky was more confident in their relationship, but she understood where he was coming from. She had spent most of her last relationship trying to match up to his last love, even if it wasn’t enough. But this was different. She was 100% committed to Bucky. She got on his lap and held his face to look at her after it had fallen with the question.
“James Buchanan Barnes, I need you to look into my eyes and know that what I am telling you is the purest truth that will ever slip from my mouth. I am undoubtedly committed to you and I love you with every fiber in my body. I won’t lie and say that I don’t feel for Steve, I always will; can’t just squash 5 years. But he is my past, you are my future as long as you’ll have me.” She planted a soft kiss on his lips, demonstrating all the love she held for the man under her. “I love you.”
For the first time in their moments together, Bucky was the one shedding the tears. He had never felt love like he was experiencing at this moment. His head landed on her chest and his arm engulfed her in a tight hug. This time (Y/N) was the one running her hand through his hair to provide comfort.
“Say it again,’’ He whispered.
“I love you, Bucky.”
“And I love you.”
Before they knew it, the sun was peeking in through the windows. Bucky and (Y/N) were waking up full of bliss, the events of yesterday quickly dissipating from their minds.
The couple left the room with a giddy aura around them, acting like the happy couple they were. They made their way to the kitchen and decided to cook some breakfast for their friends, which they were sure were already awake. (Y/N) turned on some music and Bucky took out the ingredients from the pantry to make some pancakes, a quick and easy meal. Anyone that knew nothing of their past, would never think anything other than a beautiful image of a joyous couple.
But you know what they say, all good things come to an end. As they were plating the last batch of pancakes, the elevator announced the arrival of someone. They both assumed it would be one of the residents of the tower, but they never thought they would bring company.
Banner walked out of the elevator in all his giant glory, unbeknownst to him that he was hiding the guest. Wanda and Sam walked in from the balcony, attracted by the smell of pancakes, also unaware of the presence of someone else in the building.
“Morning, Banner,” (Y/N) smiled.
“Morning, everyone.” He responded, but the girl quickly noted the extra awkward aura that surrounded him.
“Everything okay, Bruce?”
“Um, someone came by today. To stay here… again.” The group looked at him with curiosity on their faces. They only saw Bruce; they couldn’t follow where he was going.”
“Who, Banner?” Sam questioned.
When he finally moved, the glass (Y/N) was holding fell from her hands. She fell back but was held up by Bucky.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” Bucky said through gritted teeth. His behavior came to the surprise of the whole group. They knew Bucky was angry at Steve for leaving, but only (Y/N) knew the magnitude of his anger.
Standing there with two large suitcases was a leather jacket-clad Steve Rogers, his world-class grin adorning his face.
“Figured I wasn’t doing the world any good hiding in a rathole in Brooklyn, so I decided to pick my shield back up. You know, for the good of the community.”
Had yesterday not happened, Bucky would have believed him, but he could see right through his lies. He wanted to be close to (Y/N) once again. Bucky was fuming at this point, the only reason he had pounced on him was because he was holding his girlfriend up.
“Didn’t stop you before.”
“I know I was wrong for leaving, but it was a moment of weakness. I hope you can all forgive me so we can go back to saving lives as we used to.” The rest of the team seemed to be eating up his lies. Bucky couldn’t blame them; he was very good with his words.
“Wanda, can you please take (Y/N) to our room, please?” Wanda didn’t understand why but complied, either way, noting the girl’s pale expression and the sweat that was forming on her forehead.
Bucky walked straight to Rogers, ready to pounce on him, but Sam held him back. “You have a lot of nerve showing your face here.”
“I have not ill will with showing up,” he put his arms up. “I simply want to pick up where I left off, it’s my duty.”
“If that’s how you want to play it, so be it. But stay out of mine and (Y/N)’s way, or you’ll regret it.”
“Come on, Buck,” Sam interjected. “It’s not worth it. Go check on your girl. She needs you.”
Bucky gave Steve one last stern stare and hurried down the hallway.
“Man, I don’t know what’s going on between you three, but you better be here to just work. You put that girl through enough shit to just waltz in again.” Out of the trio, San was the one that was keeping Steve an arm’s length.
“I promise, Sam. I just want to do what’s best for our city. I know she’s moved on and I don’t wanna continue hurting her. I love her too much.”
“Alright, just keep your distance for now.”
Bucky knew Steve would try all he could to get (Y/N) back, but he had her now and he was never letting go.
The duo did their best to avoid Steve during their downtime, only interacting with him with things that were strictly business. But Steve knew they wouldn’t be together all the time, and tonight was a perfect example of it. Bruce had caught wind that there was a resurfacing of Chitauri weapons in a warehouse two states away, and he decided to send Sam and Bucky for a recon mission.
“It’s just one night, Buck. I can hold my ground for one night.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about, darling. It’s him,” he scoffed.
“I know, but he’s not going away any time soon. The faster we come to terms with it, the faster we can go on with our lives. This much hate is making you age,” she chuckled, running her hands across his forehead.
“Not funny,” he kissed her. “But seriously, be careful tonight.”
“I will. You be careful too, okay?”
“How could he not be with the best partner ever?” Sam joined in.
“Shut up, feathers. You’re lucky I’m the one that’s going with you,’’ he joked. “It would end so badly otherwise.”
“Yeah, yeah, Robocop. Let’s go.” Sam got into the driver's side and waiting for his partner to say goodbye to his girlfriend.
“You call me if anything happens.”
“Likewise,” she smiled and plated a kiss on his lips, waving goodbye as the car sped off.
“Let’s do something tonight, Wanda,” (Y/N) whined.
“I can’t, (Y/N). I have a date with a library and a long night of research. I’m still learning of my powers, you know?”
“Ugh, fine. I guess I’ll just stay in my room tonight and wallow in self-pity.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, my friend. You’ll be fine for just one night.”
“I guess. Call me if studying gets too boring, yeah?”
“I promise.”
All she had to do was withstand 12 hours. 12 hours where she had to avoid Steve Rogers and wait for Bucky to get back. And for the first six, it had proven to be easy. She locked herself in her room with a wide variety of snacks, and a long list of movies she wanted to watch. She had dozed off a couple of times, but not the clock had hit 2:30 in the morning and all her snacks were gone.
(Click here for Finale 1 || ignore to continue the story as is)
Before leaving her quarters, she peeked her head out to survey the hallway. It was quiet, and the captain’s light was off. (Y/N) deemed it safe to head to the kitchen without being detected by Steve. She quietly tiptoed to the fridge and picked a wine bottle and a block of cheese to nip on. But when she turned around, she was cornered.
“You have to stop avoiding me, (Y/N).” His breath reeked of Asgardian liquor. The super soldier was definitely drunk.
“Steve, leave me alone. You’re clearly not yourself right now.’’
“Why couldn’t you have chosen me? We were so good together.”
“I think that’s more of an introspective question, Steven. Need I remind you I wasn’t the one who left.”
“I made one mistake, (Y/N). The biggest mistake of my whole life and look at me now. Throwing myself into work as I look at you parading around my best friend.” He hiccupped. “What does he have that I don’t?”
“A backbone, for starters,” she mumbled. “Steve, don’t you think it’s time you move on? Stop wanting things you can’t have. At first, it was Peggy, and now you’re projecting onto me. Don’t you think now is a good time to do something for you?”
“Don’t you get it, baby doll? You’re all I want!” He stumbled back as he raised his arms, giving the girl the perfect chance to escape.
“You lost that chance long ago, Steve. You should work on yourself. I don’t want you to lose everyone in your life because you’re spiraling. You made your choice, now it’s time you live with it. ’’
(Y/N) ran back to her room and locked the door behind her. Hopefully, some of the words she spoke would sink through his thick skull.
The next morning, (Y/N) decided to keep last night’s encounter to herself. Steve had been drunk and she didn’t think he’d remember his actions. Bucky would be home at any minute and there was another conversation that was gnawing at her brain.
She had finished getting dressed when two arms encircled her waist and lifted her up. There was no mistaking the cold feeling from one of them and she knew her Bucky was back.
“I’m back in one piece, darling.”
“I can see,” she smiled. “I’m glad, baby. You look exhausted. Did you sleep at all?”
“Not really. I missed you too much.” He stared into her eyes, there was something behind them he couldn’t point out. “Is something wrong, darling?”
“Gosh, you know me too well.” She led him to their bed and sat him down. “There’s something I’ve been thinking of, Buck, and I don’t know how you’ll take it.”
“My love, you know you can tell me anything.”
“Do you ever think about the future?”
“In what way?”
“Well, kids, marriage, hanging up our earth protecting gloves?” Bucky stayed quiet, needing (Y/N) to elaborate. “Do you ever think of retiring to go live a normal life like Barton? Would that be something you’d be interested in pursuing?”
He couldn’t lie. Ever since they had begun their relationship, he hadn’t stopped thinking about it. “I have. And, with you, I would go the ends of the earth.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“I would quit right now if I knew I would spend my life with you.” (Y/N) smiled and hugged the man in front of him.
“Then, let’s do it. Let’s tell Banner we’re retiring and go. Clint once told me there was this cabin a couple of miles from his cabin that he bought to make sure no one knew of his family’s location; we can stay there. It’s peaceful, it’s quiet, there’s a little lake, it’s perfect.”
“Then, what are we waiting around for?” He smiled, planting a deep kiss on her lips, a look of adoration in his eyes.
In a matter of hours, the little possessions they had were packed away in boxes. Banner had been informed by Bucky of their plans, and Bruce understood. He told him there was nothing to worry about, the world had a supply of heroes and a surplus of agents ready to fill their spots. He wished them luck in their endeavors and asked him to not be a stranger. (Y/N) then went by to say her goodbyes to the scientist and her good friend, promising him a weekly call with any important news.
Bucky kept glancing at his watch counting down the second until the Captain was back. They had taken advantage of the fact Steve had gone on a meeting two hours away; that had been over three hours ago. They had less than an hour or less to leave unnoticed.
“You promise to always call?” Wanda cried.
“Of course. Just because I’m not here does not mean you will stop being my best friend. Just make sure you answer your phone when I call.” (Y/N) sobbed as well, for the first time in many months with happy tears. “And you have to visit. You too, Sam”
“I cross my heart. Robocop here would miss me too much.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Bucky hugged the man he considered his close friend. “Now, come on, darling. It’s time to go.”
(Y/N) nodded and hugged Wanda and Sam one last time. When they made it downstairs where their truck awaited, she looked back at what she had once considered her home. Bucky wrapped her in a hug and kissed the top of her head, aware of the melancholy that overtook her. They were heading off to a new life, the normalcy they both had craved for a long time. The couple jumped into the truck and drove off to a place where they believed they could rid themselves of their Steve past. Hopefully, it was enough.
Tag list: @alwaysclassyeagle @novieeee1 @coldhvrt16 @marvelfansworld @bluemoon-icecream
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes smut#steve rogers#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers smut#bucky barnes angst#steve rogers angst#sam wilson#wanda maximoff#bruce banner#pining#avengers#marvel#hurt/comfort#hurt#comfort#recovery#fanfiction#ao3#wattpad#andreafmn#reader insert#bucky barnes x reader#steve rogers x reader
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Too little too late (2/?)
Plot: Steve arrives in the future but he was off by a few years. After finding out where the reader lived, Steve sets on his way to win you back.
A/n I know these are short chapters but I promise it’ll get better. In the next chapter you’re going to find out how the reader and Marcus got together.
Catch up here
Steve was confused when he arrived back in the future as he looked around and noticed he wasn’t back at Tony’s lake house, instead he was in what he assumed was a lab. “Steve?” Steve looked around when he heard Bruce’s voice “what are you doing here?”
Turning around completely Steve finally spotted Bruce on the other side of the room. Confusion was written all over his face “this isn’t 2023?”
“No that was twelve years” Bruce replied, “what have you been doing all this time”.
Steve then proceeded to tell Bruce about how he stayed with Peggy for a few months but realized he didn’t love her and decided to travel back to the future but forgot what year he left. Steve then asked Bruce if he would be about to send him back to the year he was originally supposed to go but Bruce shook his head no. “I’m sorry Steve but I can’t send you back in time anymore. I honestly don’t know why I still have this thing.”
Letting out a sigh Steve “do you think you can give me y/n address? I need to apologize for abandoning her.”
“Yeah hold on a second” Bruce scribbled down your address and handed it to him “oh but wait-” Bruce started but Steve just turned around and walked away “she’s in a relationship”.
After making a quick stop at a flower shop to buy you your favorite flowers Steve made the trip to see you. He spent the entire care ride practicing what he was going to say when he saw you. He knew he was going to have to apologize repeatedly for being gone for so long but he knew you were going to eventually forgive him.
Once he was outside of your house Steve tried to shake off his nerves before he knocked on your door. Steve felt butterflies when you opened the door and saw you “Steve?”
“Hey doll” Steve gave you a crooked smile.
“What are you doing here? Who gave you my address?” you asked as you tried to process what going on.
Steve was about to reply when he heard a male voice behind you “who’s at the door mi amor?” Steve felt his heartbreak when you opened your front door wider and revealed a man he’s never met before. “Oh captain Rogers, what a surprise to see you here” Marcus extended his hand to the super-soldier.
“I’m sorry who are you?” Steve asked while he shook Marcus's hand.
There was an awkward silence between the three of you and you had no other options but to break it. “This is Marcus” you replied as Marcus wrapped his arm around your body “he’s my boyfriend”.
@catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @ritzy23 @farfromjustordinary @multific @jessyballet @spacedaddydinn @ren-ni @shadowolf993
#avengers imagines#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers imagines#marcus moreno imagine#marcus moreno x reader#Marcus Moreno imagines#marcus moreno x f!reader
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lairofsentinel
Dragon's Lair
ryuicostaworld
Life of 40 years.
jasminedragonart
Jasmine Dragon Art