Kinktober âïž Day 31
Word Count:Â 5.6K
Paring:Â Marauders!Sirius Black x Fem!Reader
Prompt @kinktober2023: Costumes
WARNINGS: SMUT 18+ (minors DNI), oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex, p-in-v sex, semi-public sex
Summary:Â (Y/N) and Sirius have always had a playful relationship. Something the rest of the Marauders often tease them about. In all honesty, they do have feelings for each other, but can't seem to confess to one another. When Hogwarts announces a masquerade ball for Hallowe'en, each of them get different dates to make the other jealous. Will it work, or will it just drive them apart?
A/N: couldn't get the idea out of my head... so, yeahđ«Łđ«Łand, yes I am still trying to finish Kinktober and Ficmas đ
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MASTERLIST
âYou really think Theresa is going to say yes?â (Y/N) teased. âSheâs ignored you for the past six years. What makes you think sheâll say yes now?âÂ
âWell, she wonât be able to resist the charm of a masquerade ball during Halloweâen,â Sirius countered. âNo one will know who is who, and I think sheâll appreciate no one knowing sheâs there with me. And I can use the night to woe her and win her over.â Â
âYouâve always been delusional, Sirius,â she laughed. âBut this definitely takes the cake.âÂ
âHe hasnât even asked her, and youâre already making fun of him, (Y/N)?â James chuckled as he sat between the two of them on the couch that lived in the Gryffindor common room. âMerlin, you two bicker more than an old married couple.â Â
âI think they just need to snog and get it over with,â Remus joked. âThis much animosity is normally just repressed sexual tension.âÂ
âHilarious, Moony. But Padfoot here wishes he could snog me,â she said. âUnfortunately, I have something thatâs called standards.âÂ
âOh, youâd be lucky to even get near me, (Y/N),â Sirius countered.Â
âIâm telling you,â Remus continued. âThey just need to just get it out of the way and move on.âÂ
That had been the dynamic between Sirius and (Y/N) since they had met during their first year in the halls of the train. They teased and poked fun at each other, they pushed each other's buttons until one of them broke or the other Marauders stopped them. It was a game they had been playing for years on end, using it to camouflage what was lying beneath the surface.Â
The only people who knew how the pair truly felt about each other were James and Remus, and they had kept it hidden all those yearsâeven from each other. (Y/N) had confided in Remus, where Sirius had confessed to James after a drunken night visit to the Potter cottage. It was a secret they all carried between each other, but no one dared to admit.Â
(Y/N) believed confessing her feelings would ruin a friendship she cherished, and Sirius was sure there was no way someone like her would ever want someone like him. So, rather than put each other out of their mutual misery, they danced around their feelings and simply fortified their friendship. And it was something they were planning to do until the end of time.Â
Yet, that was something Remus and James werenât going to allow. Even if they didnât know it, they both had a similar plan to get them together that Halloween night.Â
It had been a long time since the All Hallowâs Eve Feast had been a ball, and that year, it had been announced that the festivity was going to be a masquerade party. Whispers had traveled quickly regarding costumes and intricate masks, the entire student body excited about the upcoming event.Â
A party at Hogwarts called for extracurricular activities late in the night. Lessons that werenât included in their school curriculum. Even if professors were on high alert during those types of nights, it didnât stop students from getting away with their schemes. They couldnât be everywhere at all hours of the night, and the Marauders had just the right tool to help the students avoid any problemsâit was easy to capitalize on desperation when they had created the map that would track every soul in the school.Â
âSo, what are your plans for the ball, (Y/N)?â Lily asked in the girlâs dorm later that week. âI heard Regulus was looking to ask you to be his date.âÂ
The name made the girlâs heart flutter. She had expected a certain Black brother to have asked her, and he had. It just wasnât the right one. âI donât know if I should,â (Y/N) sighed as she draped herself across Lilyâs bed. âI mean, I guess heâd be a good date. Just not the one I wanted.âÂ
âWere you still waiting for Sirius to fess up?â the redhead teased. âI heard he asked Theresa.âÂ
âI know, and she said yes,â she whined. âGoes to show how much Lupin actually knows. Oh gods, why did I ever think he could like me back, Lils? I feel like an idiot.âÂ
âOh, donât be so hard on yourself. You can still go with a respectable Black brother,â Lily offered. âAnd you can use Regulus to make him jealous.â
âLike he will have his eyes on me,â she scoffed. âHeâll probably be too busy shoving his tongue down your best friendâs throat.âÂ
âWell, with that attitude, he wonât,â the Evans girl smirked. âHe might be going to the ball with Theresa, but it doesnât mean he has to leave with her. Weâll do your hair and your makeup, make sure youâre the most beautiful girl at the party. Weâll get you the most beautiful gown and the most striking mask. And I promise, by the end of the night, heâll forget Theresaâs name.âÂ
âHow can you be sure that heâll even look at me long enough for that? Heâs liked Theresa since first year.âÂ
âBelieve me, (Y/N),â she grinned. âHeâll look.âÂ
And so, over the next couple of weeks, Lily set off to find (Y/N) the perfect dress. It had to be striking, command a room, and, most of all, make Sirius regret ever muttering Theresaâs name.Â
As days passed, (Y/N)âs nerves only grew. Lily wouldnât tell her a thing and Sirius had seemed to grow cold after she had agreed to be Regulusâ date. It certainly didnât help when she had Remus telling her he was just jealous of his brother, and all she had to do was give time to time. Her friends seemed to have more faith in Sirius than she did.Â
He had begun avoiding her everywhere they went, going out of his way to stay as far from her as he could, even changing seats with Remus in their shared classes so he didnât have to sit next to her. It was infuriating and petrifying to know that all it took was one single party to destroy a years-long friendship. It made her thankful that she had never confessed her true feelings. That was a catastrophe she did not want to know.Â
On October 31st, everyone was buzzing with excitement. The Great Hall had been decorated since breakfast, and professors had elected to hold only half-day classes to allow everyone enough time to prepare for the nightâs festivities. Everyone was overjoyedâeveryone but (Y/N).Â
The girl couldnât help but feel that her mood had dampened. It had been the longest time sheâd passed without even writing to Sirius. She had even considered canceling with Regulus and staying in her dorm room, moping as everyone celebrated. But if there was one thing she knew, it was that Lily would not have allowed itânot when she had a plan.
âI already have everything for you, (Y/N),â Lily had whined. âAll you have to do is get to our room.âÂ
âI just donât see the point in all of this. Sirius clearly hates me so it wonât matter what I look like.â
âThe money has already been spent,â the girl said, knowing it was the only reason that would get her friend to change her mind. âAre you really telling me that I spent all of that for nothing?âÂ
âIâll get my parents to transfer the money. Just donât make me embarrass myself with him.âÂ
âMy darling (Y/N), you are going,â Lily commanded. âEven if itâs just to have fun with your other friends. I need you there.âÂ
âYouâll be there with James. Heâll be perfect company.âÂ
âYouâre going,â she smiled. âThatâs final.â
âI donât like it when youâre bossy,â (Y/N) pouted. âYouâre a bit scary.â
âGood,â Lily grinned. âNow, letâs get you into this beautiful gown.âÂ
And beautiful it was. It was a garment unlike anything she had ever seen, much less worn. The sparkling red dress hugged her in all the right places, fitting around her like it had been sewn onto her body. The fabric gave the illusion that she was revealing herself while covering her, and the sleeves made her feel delicate and regal. She was the vision of royalty. Had Lily gotten her a tiara, she was sure she would have been mistaken for a princess.Â
âThis is too much,â (Y/N) muttered as she stared at herself in the mirror. âThis must have cost a fortune, Lils.â
âThat is not what matters,â her friend reprimanded. âHow do you feel? Do you like it?âÂ
âLike it? I bloody love it,â she exclaimed. âItâs the most gorgeous thing Iâve ever laid eyes upon. And I think it might be threading the line of the modest garment rule.âÂ
âWell, the rules donât say anything about illusion fabric. You are technically fully covered,â Lily stated. âAnd whatâs a little detention when you look like that?â
âYouâve really outdone yourself, Lils,â she smiled. âItâs perfect.âÂ
âIt really is,â the redhead said as she hugged her friend from behind. âNow, letâs finish your hair and makeup to turn you into the true Gryffindor princess.âÂ
The room quickly becomes a mess of clothes and makeup as the girls all readied themselves for the night, all oohing and awing about (Y/N)âs dress. It was set to be the hit of the party. But all she cared about was what one specific boy thought. She would use the mask and the dress as her armor, and sheâd suit herself with courage. After that night, sheâd either grow closer to Sirius or finally drive them apart.Â
Once Lily was done with (Y/N), she couldnât recognize herself. Her gold lace mask highlighted the shimmer on her eyes, complimenting the bold red lip her friend had finished the makeup with. The red and gold accessories were the last touch to Lilyâs masterpiece, completing the theme for her work of art. Everyone would know that the Gryffindor princess walked amongst them.Â
âYouâve truly outdone yourself, Lily,â (Y/N) beamed. âI donât think Iâve ever looked this good.âÂ
âIâm telling you, if Sirius doesnât man up, Iâm taking you home instead,â the girl teased. âJames will just have to get over it. You look ravishing, my darling.âÂ
âYou know what, even if he doesnât, Iâm going to enjoy tonight,â she stated. âMaybe Iâll even get a snog in or two.âÂ
âThatâs the spirit, my friend,â Lily chuckled. âNow, letâs give everyone something to look at.âÂ
Arm in arm, the two girls left their dorm, knowing they were the only ones left in their tower. They had taken a few minutes extra to get ready to make sure that their late entry would turn heads. The plan was to draw everyoneâs attention, and if they were the last ones there, there was no other choice but to look as the closed doors opened.Â
Regulus and James were waiting outside of the common room door, annoyed already by the Fat Ladyâs singing. But the second their eyes landed on the girls, they couldnât help but think that it was worth the wait.Â
â(Y/N), you lookâŠâÂ
âStunning. I know,â Lily smiled as she joined Jamesâ side. âI do good work.âÂ
âI canât believe itâs really you, (Y/N),â James teased. âI had a bet youâd probably show up in a jumper and jeans.âÂ
âSorry to say you lost that bet, James,â she grinned. âMight as well live up to the name of Gryffindor princess, right? And you look handsome, Regulus. Very snake-like.âÂ
The boy wore his black hair slicked back, a snake-print mask tied around his head. His party robes were deep forest green with silver lines that made up scales on the jacket. He was fit to look like the prince of Slytherin, the direct opposite of who she was.Â
âThank you,â he said with a soft smile. âShall we get to the ball then?âÂ
âWe shall.â Â
She took the boyâs outstretched arm, placing her hand on the crook of his elbow, and made the journey toward the Great Hall. There, the music was already in full swing, songs, and chatter filling the air.Â
âAre you ready?â Lily asked as she turned toward her friend. âEveryoneâs eyes are gonna be on you.âÂ
âIâm ready,â she smiled. âItâs now or never.âÂ
James and Lily took hold of the doors and pulled them open. The second they did, everything was just as Lily had anticipated. The music kept playing, but all the attention fell on (Y/N); even a spotlight somehow illuminated her the moment the doors opened. No one danced or moved; all they did was whisper and stare in amazement as Regulus led them toward the center of the dance floor. It was time for the traditional waltz, and what better couple to lead it than the best dressed of the night.Â
As they made their way to the center of the room, (Y/N)âs eyes met grey ones looking right at her. Even with a mask that covered almost his entire face, she could make them out anywhere. His gaze never left hers, even as she danced with Regulus across the floor. He was dancing and talking with Theresa, but his eyes never left her. His stare burned into her, capturing every ounce of her attention. She had done all of this to have him look at her just like that, but as the minutes passed, it became too intense.Â
Regulus and (Y/N) danced for almost ten songs straight before the boy offered to get them some punch, and Sirius had remained only a few feet away the entire time. Even after Theresa had said she was tired and wanted to sit, he remained close by, going as far as stealing Remusâ date, Sasha Monnet. She wanted to avoid his glare, be in the moment, but she couldnât. No matter where she looked, there he was.Â
âI canât do this,â (Y/N) said to Lily as she got to their table, anxious and out of breath. âIâve got to⊠I need to⊠Iâm gonna go.âÂ
âWhat happened, darling? Whatâs wrong?âÂ
âI canât keep pretending, Lils. Itâs too much. I canât do it.â
âHead up to our room then,â the girl offered. âIâll be by in a bit to help you out. Iâll tell Regulus you werenât feeling well.â
âThank you, LilâŠâ (Y/N) was not able to finish her sentence as she noticed Sirius with Theresa out of the corner of her eye. They were talking; she couldnât quite make out what they were saying, but it seemed intense. One second, they were speaking, and the next, the girl had crashed her lips onto his. The scene broke something inside of her (Y/N) didnât think could be broken, but she knew she could not bear to keep watching. âIâll see you later, Lils.âÂ
âOh, darling,â was the last thing the girl heard her friend say before she was dashing out of the Hall and finding a place to catch her breath.Â
Tears brimmed her eyes as she reached Gregory the Smarmyâs corridor, slipping into the secret passageway for some much-needed privacy. She couldnât believe that she had deluded herself into thinking that the plan would have worked. Everything was set but for one vital step, and it was that Sirius seemingly did not reciprocate her feelings. That much was clear to her now. All she wanted was to rip the dress from her body, unpin her hair, wash her face, and cry the rest of the night away. She didnât know why she had been cursed with her feelings, but she would make sure to break them one day. For now, she just wanted to wallow in her pity.Â
But she wouldnât be able to do that for long as the passage opened, revealing an out-of-breath Sirius. âBloody hell, (Y/N)!â he exclaimed. Did you not hear me yelling out your name?âÂ
âOh, sod off, Sirius,â she seethed, biting back the fresh tears that threatened to spill. âJust leave me alone like you have these past weeks. Clearly, you got what you wanted.â
âWhat are you talking about, (Y/N)?âÂ
âPlease, Sirius, donât play me for a fool,â the girl scoffed. âEver since this stupid dance was announced, you have made it your mission to stay away from me. If you didnât want me around after Theresa agreed to be your date, you could have just told me. Instead, you thought it was best just to push me out. Fine. I get the hint, Sirius. You can go back and enjoy your new girlfriend.âÂ
âAre you seriously that demented?âÂ
âWow,â she interjected. âReally?âÂ
âYou really think this is about Theresa?â Sirius said, his tone full of surprise. âThis is about you, (Y/N). Itâs always been about you.âÂ
âWhat are you talking about, Sirius?âÂ
âYouâre seriously daft, (Y/N),â he chuckled in amazement. âI only asked Theresa to the ball after you said yes to my own brother. To Regulus, (Y/N).âÂ
âI only did that after Theresa had said you had asked her⊠and what does it matter? You were always going to ask her.âÂ
âThatâs not true.âÂ
âYes, it is, Sirius!â she exclaimed, tears falling down her cheeks. âSheâs the only girl youâve ever talked about since first year. Itâs always Theresa this, Theresa that. You finally got your wish. So, please, donât fault me in this situation.âÂ
âYou donât get it, (Y/N),â he sighed, running his hands across his face in frustration. âTheresa has only been a distraction to the truth. Sheâs never been the girl Iâve wanted, but she was a good distraction.âÂ
âA distraction from what, Sirius? Just speak clearly for once. No riddles, no beating around the bush. Just tell me.âÂ
âShe was a distraction from you, (Y/N). Youâre the only one Iâve ever wanted but could never have,â he confessed. âI couldnât tell you because I knew you didnât feel the same way, so it became easier to talk about Theresa when really I was talking about you. When I heard you said yes to Regulus, I went mad. I mean, Iâve seen you with other guys, but my own brother? Now, that was too much to handle. Then you walk in looking so bloody exquisite, and youâre on his arm, and all I wanted was to punch the living daylights out of himâmore than usual. And I canât go on like this, (Y/N). I needed you to at least know that I am crazy about you. I always have been.âÂ
âYouâve got to be joking, right?â the girl laughed in disbelief. âThis is crazy.âÂ
âWhat is wrong with you, (Y/N)?â Sirius said, shock evident on his face. âIf you donât feel the same you just had to say that. You didnât have to make fun of me for it.âÂ
It took (Y/N) a few seconds for her laughter to die downâit was an unfortunate reaction to a surprising admission. And, if she had to admit, serious situations always made her break out in a laugh. âNo, itâs not,â she stammered out the last chuckles. âI wasnât making fun of you. I couldnât when Iâve felt the same way the entire time. The only reason I agreed to go with Regulus to the ball was because you had asked Theresa, and, if Iâm honest, I wanted to make you jealous. Remus had heard that he was going to ask me after Theresa had told Sasha you had asked her, and he thought I could make you mad by going with him.
âThen Lily came up with this whole attire to make you see what you were missing,â she continued as she looked over her gown. âAnd well, it seemed like the perfect plan until a few minutes ago when you were snogging Theresa. I couldnât handle watching you two, so I ran away. I was sort of on my way to the dorms to wallow in self-pity, but I took a detour to this place.âÂ
âWell, it is the place we hide in when the others get too much,â Sirius smiled softly. He crossed the distance between them, pressing the girl against the cold wall. âSo, what Iâm hearing is that weâve been skirting around each other for no reason? I mean, James always told me to go for it, but I never really listened to him.âÂ
âRemus pushed me to do the same, but I didnât want to ruin what we had,â she admitted before moving her head from the hand that reached for her cheek. âBut that doesnât explain the kiss you just shared with Theresa. If you really liked me, why did you kiss her?â Â
âShe kissed me,â the boy said. She was angry that I hadnât really paid attention to her since you came into the Hall. Granted, she was right. And when I was in the middle of telling her that I wasnât interested in her, she decided to kiss me. But I pushed her away, and thatâs when I saw you running away. Lily had some choice words about it, and James gave me the map to find you. I promise you, Theresa is the last person wanted to spend tonight with. I guess I wanted to make you jealous, too, and it all backfired.â
âWeâre not good at this whole honesty thing, huh?â (Y/N) chuckled. âNext time, promise me weâll just talk things out.â
âI hope there wonât be a next time of this,â Sirius whispered as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. âNow that Iâve got you, Iâm not planning on letting you go, darling.â Â
The atmosphere around them had changed. No longer was there an agonizing tension between them. Instead, a hot air engulfed them in the cold corridor, burning something inside them that had been growing for the past six years. âIs that a threat or a promise, Padfoot?â she teased, running her fingers across the canine mask he wore. âA little on the nose, donât you think, pup?â Â
âNothing like what youâre wearing, princess,â he smirked. âNever thought Iâd ever get this close to royalty.â
âWell, if you play your cards right, you might just shag your first princess,â she teased. âHow about we start with a kiss? Iâve only been waiting for six years.â
âYour wish is my command, your highness,â Sirius grinned. âNow come here.â
Sirius placed his hands on either side of her face and crashed their lips together, ignoring the sting of the mask as it dug into his face. All he cared about was the warm feeling of her mouth on his, the plumpness of her lips, and the minty taste of her tongue. It was everything he had dreamed of and more. He had not expected how perfectly their mouths fit together or how soft the skin of her lips would be, and heâd definitely not expected it ever to happenânot with her.Â
Their hands explored each otherâs bodies through their clothes as their kiss grew more heated, learning every nook and cranny they had devoid themselves from touching for many years. They had always been touchy during their friendship, always finding reasons to hold hands, hug, or simply have a closeness they didnât share with anyone else. Both of them believed that was as far as they would ever go. Maybe if they had cared for Divination, they would have seen that their futures were meant to intersect as more than just friends.Â
âTake off my dress already, Si,â she moaned as Siriusâ mouth traveled down her neck. âI donât wanna wait.âÂ
âThe dress is actually doing something for me,â he groaned against her skin. âAinât nothing like fucking royalty.âÂ
âDidnât know you were into costumes, Sirius?â (Y/N) teased as she swallowed another moan. âIâll keep that in my back pocket.âÂ
âWhat can I say? Iâm really into the whole Beauty and Beast thing,â he chuckled darkly. âAnd this beast plans to ride this beauty all night long.âÂ
In a swift movement, Sirius flipped the girl over, pressing her chest against the cold stone of the passageway. He kissed his way up and down her neck, savoring the taste of her skin before landing on the softness of her ear. He took the lobe between his teeth, tugging it softly, earning a guttural whine from (Y/N). Â
âYouâre such a tease, Sirius,â she mewled. âJust get on with it.âÂ
âNeedy. Arenât you, princess?â he chuckled between kisses to her shoulders. âCanât even wait a bloody second.âÂ
âIâve waited six bloody years, Padfoot. So, no. I canât wait a second more.âÂ
âHow could I ever deny you that?â Sirius grabbed the hem of her dress, pulling it up to her waist, exposing her entire bottom half. âNo underwear? How cheeky, my lady.â
âThis gown doesnât forgive undergarment lines,â she panted. âI wasnât planning on something like this.â
âIs that why youâre absolutely drenched?â he teased as he knelt behind her. âBecause you are dripping, princess.â
Before she could say another word, Sirius attached his mouth to her heat, running his tongue through the length of her cunt. He explored her folds and savored her taste, sighing as she coated his mouth. She was an amortentia potion come to life. If someone had told him thatâs what he drank, he would not have corrected them. (Y/N) was intoxicating and every bit the woman he most loved.Â
He worked her expertly. With the tip of his tongue, he flicked and circled her clit, sending shockwaves through her body. Sirius lapped and sucked, focusing on the tiny bundle of nerves before slipping a finger into her.Â
âOh, fuck,â she keened as she met his thrusts. âThat feels so fucking good.â
âAnd to thinkâŠâ
âDonât talk,â she interrupted as she pushed his head back onto her core. âJust make me cum.â
He chuckled against her, getting back to work as she commanded. Sirius pistoned his finger at a quick pace, adding another and curling them at the ends as his mouth continued its assault. He thrust into her until he felt her walls clenching around his digits, and her mouth let out a pleasurable wail. As she came down, he drank her like she was the elixir of life. He had been walking a shell of a man until that very moment.
âI need more, Sirius,â she panted. âI need to feel you inside me, now.â
âYou really are needy, princess,â he chuckled as he sucked her essence from his fingers. âBut who am I to deny you such a pleasant request?âÂ
From behind her, she heard Sirius undo the zipper from his trousers, followed by a tight grip on her left hip. The head of his cock pressed against her entrance at first before running the trail his tongue had. It separated her folds and teased her clit, anticipating what was to come.
âAre you ready, my princess?â he whispered, this time without his usual joking tone. âI wanna make sure you really want this. That you want⊠me.â
(Y/N) couldnât help but turn at the sound of Siriusâ voice breaking. Even after what she had allowed him to do to her, he still doubted that she wanted him. âWhy would you think that I wouldnât?â she questioned as she cradled his face tenderly. âI thought you understood just how much you mean to me, Si.â
âI just donât want you to feel like youâve made a mistake with me,â he answered meekly. âI may have been jealous, but Regulus might be the best choice for you in the end. Iâve no family, no money, no titles as of now. Your family will be beside themselves if they even hear a whisper that youâre with me.â
âDo you take me for an elitist pure-blood, Sirius? I thought you knew me better than that,â she chastised lovingly. Stray tears had fallen out of the corner of his eyes, which she promptly wiped away with the pad of her thumb. âI could not care any less about status, darling, because I didnât fall for any of those things. I fell for your intelligence, your charm, your wit, your smileâand, of course, your dazzling good looks. Thereâs no one on this earth that I want more than I want you, Sirius. And I will prove it.â
She wrapped a hand softly around his length, pumping it slowly as she caressed her slit with the head. âI want you, Sirius,â she moaned. âI want all of you.â
(Y/N) took off her heels to lower her height, sinking into his length. She winced softly at the intrusion, the overwhelming stretch quickly becoming a pleasurable sting. Her arms wrapped around his neck, finding her legs turn to jelly as the feeling overtook her.Â
âOh, Merlin,â Sirius groaned as he threw his head back in pleasure. âYou feel so perfect around me, princess. So fucking perfect.â Â
âI think⊠I think you can move now, Si,â the girl muttered. âI need you to move.â Â
âYou donât have to tell me twice, darling.â Â
Sirius took back control of the moment, wrapping an arm around her waist and moving his hips to thrust inside her at a slowly increasing pace. He slid into her wetness, slicking his length with her essence and gliding in and out of her as he tasted the skin of her neck. A moan fell out of his throat as (Y/N)âs fingers dug into her hair, pulling at the strands as he continued his attack.Â
The boy didnât want to wake if this was simply another one of his very vivid dreams. And if he had been cursed or drank a potion, heâd beg whoever had done so to never again let him live without it. He had everything he had ever wanted in his hands and did not want to know a world in which he did not have it anymore.Â
He could have never imagined that the girl he had been in love with for the better part of his life actually wanted him back. The Black boy didnât feel like he deserved someone like (Y/N), and he probably never would. But at that moment, they were equalsâjust a boy and a girl surrendering themselves to the most natural feeling that could ever grow between them. There were no duties to fulfill, no families to answer to, only them and their emotions.Â
âIâm close, princess,â he moaned into her ear. âYou feel so bloody good.â Â
âIâm right behind you, darling,â she muttered. âI donât think I could hold on for much longer.â Â
âLet yourself go, princess,â he told her as he slid a hand between them and circled her clit with his fingers. She clutched onto him tighter as pleasure spiraled through her body, pulling at his hair like it was the only thing keeping her tethered to reality. âGo on, love, cum for me.â Â
With a few more strokes and a few more circles, (Y/N) let herself go around Sirius, finding his mouth with her to drown the moaning yell she let out. He tasted of butterbeer and her essence, and she wasnât sure if the taste was better now or before. But the feeling of warmth that came from him was enough for her not to care. She had spent enough time dreaming of this very moment, and there was nothing that could make that instance less than perfect.Â
âOi, yaâ cheeky buggers!â Except for Jamesâ loud mouth from the other side of the passage. âYou can keep shagging later, but I need the bloody map.âÂ
Before they could answer, Sirius burst inside the girl, his groan drowned out by (Y/N)âs lips. His fingers dug into her skin, his breath hitching in his chest. âThat bloody wanker,â Sirius managed to groan out. âHeâs truly got spectacular timing.â Â
âAt least you were able to finish,â she chuckled teasingly. âLooks like Prongs has quite good time estimating powers.â Â
âHe said I could have the map for the rest of the night,â Sirius grumbled as he slid out of (Y/N) with a low groan, already missing her warmth. âWe should be enjoying tonight together, not worrying about getting caught.â Â
âJust think how many nights like these weâll be able to have now,â she grinned, tenderly caressing his cheek. âNow that we donât have to pretend that weâre drooling for each other.â Â
âBut how many nights do we get where youâre literally dressed like a princess?â the boy teased. âThis is a costume that you wonât recreate again.â Â
âTell you what, I might not use this dress for this again,â she grinned, âbut any time you want to shag a princess, just let me know. Promise Iâll get a costume from Hogsmeade the next time weâre out.â Â
âWe could always get other costumes, too,â he added sheepishly but dripping with hope. âJust to have diversity, you know?âÂ
âDidnât take you for liking costume play, darling,â (Y/N) smiled curiously. âI think this might be one of the most interesting things Iâve learned about you. All I ask is that the next costume doesnât involve masks. I think Iâve lost all feeling in my cheeks from this thing.â Â
âUnmasked sex? Donât see why not,â he chuckled before James yelled out once more. âGuess we should go then.âÂ
âWell, we do have dates at the ball we must get back to,â she poked. âRegulus must be wondering where Iâve gone to.âÂ
âDonât even joke about that.âÂ
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Girl are you doing okay? We havent heard from you in awhile đđł
omg, I'm good! I've just been really busy with my kitty Olivia and basically cleaning and cooking and my health and all that, and have had almost no time to write đ
but updates are coming soon!
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Speak | Chapter 25
Word Count:Â 5.2 K
Summary:Â Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didnât expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf.
A/N:Â okay, y'all, I'm back and very late, I know. I've been dealing with my new baby kitten and have almost no time to write, but here's the long awaited confrontation. Hope y'all like that it's a bit of a long one đđ
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âIâm gonna kill him,â Paul seethed, his hand closing into a tight fist. âI donât care about being a pack brothers or whatever bullshit. Iâm gonna fucking kill him.â
The boy was enraged. His brain had fogged with ire, and his veins ran hot with unrest. But unlike the anger that overtook him before a shift, this one was cold and calculating. It made his senses sharp, pointed. He wanted vengeance. He wanted payback. Most of all, he wanted to fight in (Y/N)âs honor.
But before he had stepped out of the house, he had no idea he would feel that way.
âWe gotta talk to you, Paul,â Jared said, his usual joking aura long gone. âItâs, uh, itâs serious.â
âWhat happened?â
âItâs something to do with Jake,â he grimaced before continuing, âand (Y/N). About last night.â
âDid the vampire come back?â (Y/N) worried, squeezing Paulâs hand tightly as her heart raced. âDid she attack him?â
âOh no,â Embry said angrily. âBut Paul just might.â
âWhy donât we go outside, Paul?â Sam feted. â(Y/N) can stay here for a bit before you take her back home.â
âNo, I wanna know. If it has something to do with Jake and me, I have a right to know.â
âShe stays,â the boy said. âNo more secrets. Weâre doing the honesty thing.â
âRight,â she smiled. âThe honesty thing.â
âOkay, then,â the alpha sighed. âBut this is a very sensitive topic, and Iâm gonna need you to stay levelheaded here, Paul. Weâve had enough tragedies happen, one right after the other. I donât think we could take one more.â
âYouâre scaring me, Sam,â (Y/N) said. âWhat happened?â
âIâll let veg tell you since heâs the one that witnessed it.â
The younger wolf stepped in front as Sam motioned him to do so, his cheeks growing red as everyoneâs eyes turned to him. What he had to say was not easy; everyone knew that. Jacob was his best friend, and speaking Iâll about him was a betrayal like no other. But if had to be done. Something had to be done.
âOkay, so weâve all seen firsthand how good Jake is at hiding his thoughts when weâre in wolf form,â Embry started, fiddling with his thumbs to avoid looking directly at anyone. âLike, heâs unnaturally good at this whole wolf stuff.â
âWe get it, El. Or best friend is the best at this,â Paul complained. âGet to the point,â
âYes. Okay. Sorry,â he stammered. âWell, we were out on our shift this morning before the funeral, and I could tell something wasnât quite right with him when we met up. I just thought he was sad about Harry. But a few minutes into our run, he let a memory slip though, about last night, and what went down with (Y/N) and Victoria.
âAfter he left Bella at her hip use, he ran back to our side of the woods,â he continued. âThatâs where he came upon the vampire and you, (Y/N).â
âNo, Embry. Jake wasnât there,â the girl said confused. âI only saw Victoria and Paul.â
âHe was there,â Embry restated, shaking his head. âHe saw Victoria attack you and stayed hidden behind some trees. He thought⊠I shouldnât.â
âDonât you dare hold back, Embry,â Paul ordered through gritted teeth. What the hell did Jacob think?â
âGods, this is horrible,â the younger boy worried. âHe thought if (Y/N) got hurt or⊠or worse, that Bella would seek comfort in him and finally forget about the vampires.â
âYou better not be saying what I think youâre saying, Embry.â
âIâm sorry, Paul. But, yes. Jacob thought that if (Y/N) died, it would send Bella right into his arms. So, he hid and watched as Victoria attacked. He left when you were taking her here,â he admitted sheepishly, as though he had been the one to commit the wrongdoing. His face had grown bright red, and she was sure she could see his chest rising and falling at an unnatural pace. âIâm so sorry, (Y/N). I never thought⊠I canât even believe he would do something so despicable.â
âIâm gonna kill him,â Paul seethed, his hand closing into a tight fist. âI donât care about being a pack brothers or whatever bullshit. Iâm gonna fucking kill him.â
âNo, youâre not,â (Y/N)said, her voice wavering slightly as she tried her best to hold her composure. It wonât change what he didâor what I guess he didnât do.â
âHe was going to let you die, (Y/N),â Paul whispered softly. âHe wanted you to die without getting his hands dirty. Thereâs no excuse for that.â
âIâm not excusing his behavior. God knows Iâve done enough of that already,â she sighed as she tightened her grip on the hand that had yet to leave hers. âIâm simply just done with Jacob. I donât wanna hear more of his excuses and warped reasonings. Iâm just done.
I never thought Iâd say this, but I almost died yesterday,â she chuckled incredulously. âI could have died I could have died because of that vampire last night if it hadnât been for you. But I also could have died that morning trying to save Bella. I donât know if Iâll ever forgive him, but I sure as hell donât want anything to do with him right now.â
âIâm not gonna really kill him,â Paul said, his voice softening as his gaze fell onto her eyes. âBut he canât get away without at least a beat down. Heâll heal quickly, unfortunately. I just canât let him think that everything heâs done to you can go unpunished.â
âItâs really not worth it,â she shrugged. âHeâs not worth it.â
âSomething has to be done,â he restated. âWhat are you going to do, Sam?â
âI donât⊠this is an unprecedented situation, Paul. He technically hasnât broken any rules, but I do agree he has to be punished. Iâm just not sure what that looks like.â
But though he didnât say a thing, Sam sent Paul a stare that the boy quickly understood. There was resolution in both of their gazes. Something had to be done, and something would be done. âKeep (Y/N) away,â Paul told his alpha. Iâll be back soon.â
âWait, where are you going?â (Y/N) questioned as he went to let go of her hand. âPlease donât go pick a fight with him.â
âJust stay here,â he softened. âIâll be back later to take you home.â
âPaulâŠâ
âI have to go do this, (Y/N),â Paul assured, cradling her face tenderly. Iâve been more than calm when it comes to him. But heâs crossed a line, and Iâm not gonna let it standânot when it means I could have lost you.â
âFighting with him wonât change anything, Paul,â she continued. âYou could get hurt.â
âThis is long overdue, (Y/N). And itâs happening.â
Before she could say anything else, Paul kissed her forehead and took off on a run. He sped down the street before anyone could stop him. His limbs took him flying toward the well-known red cabin while he prepared himself for the confrontation of a lifetime.
Paul knew that it was the worst day possible for a reckoning. With Harry Clearwaterâs passing, the entire community was down and reeling from a massive loss. Billy Black would definitely be surprised to see him at his house, but not another second could pass where Jacob thought he could get away with what he had done. He would pay for every single action he took against (Y/N). He would pay for even thinking of hurting her. Paul would make sure Jacob regretted the second he had decided to hurt the Swan girl.
Soon enough, the house came into view, and Paulâs blood boiled. Only the living room light was on, and he prayed to the gods that Billy wasnât home yet. The man had no fault in his sonâs wrongdoing, and the last thing he wanted was to cause the chief more heartache. Still, he had to do what needed to be doneâwhat should have been done months before.
Once he reached the front door, his fist pounded on the wood, his voice echoing Jacobâs name loudly and thunderously. Anyone down the street would be able to hear him, but he didnât care. Nothing mattered more than what he was going to do.
âPaul,â Billy said Ashe opened the door. âTo what do I owe the pleasure?â
âI need to talk to your son, Billy. And Iâm sorry, but this has nothing to do with you.â
âIf itâs about Jacob, it has everything to do with me,â the man responded. âWhat has he done now?â
âWhy donât you ask him?â Paul said as he saw Jacob slowly walking toward his father and packmate. âWhy donât you ask Jacob what he was doing last night, Billy?â
The manâs head snapped backward, his eyes falling on the petrified expression on his sonâs face. The guilt was plastered on thickly, and it was hard not to notice he had done something bad enough to regret. âWhat did you do, Jacob?â
âI didnât do anything,â the boy said. âWhy do you think I did something, dad? Shouldnât you be on my side?â
âI didnât even know there were dudes to choose from, boy. But your face has done enough to tell me that you have done something. We just have to determine how forgivable it can be. Itâs not like youâve been making the best decisions lately.â
âShould you tell him, or should I?â Paul spat. Either way, everyoneâs going to know the truthâeven your precious Bella. What do you think sheâll think about you once she knows what you did?â
âDonât you fucking talk about her.â
âJacob!â Billy exclaimed. âI demand you tell me right now what Paul is talking about. Iâve had enough heartache today, and I do not want to add to the distaste. You tell me right now, Jacob.â
âItâs not what you think, dad,â Jake groveled. âHeâs just blowing things out of proportion. I swear on momâs grave, I didnât do anything.â
âDonât you dare do that, son. Do not tarnish your motherâs resting place in that way.â
âTell him, Jacob,â Paul pushed. âTell him what couldâve happened to (Y/N) last night if it had been up to you.â
At the sound of the girlâs name, Billyâs eyes went wide. He understood that the dispute was regarding the girl, but the more Paul pushed, the worse he knew his son had acted. With the confirmation that it involved (Y/N), he was becoming resolute that Jake may have done something unforgivable. âJacob, if there is any chance for forgiveness, you better come clean now.â
âI donât⊠I didnâtâŠâ
âWhat? Vamp got your tongue, Jake?â
âShut up, Paul.â
âTell him, Jake. Tell your dad what you were gonna let happen last night.â
The second Paul disappeared down the road, (Y/N) went into a frenzy. She begged Sam to stop him and told Jared to go after him, but no one would budge. They all told her it simply had to be done. Whatever went down between the two boys had to happen.
But (Y/N) couldnât fathom either of them getting hurt because of her. Sure, Jacob deserved a little pain, but she couldnât help wishing no ill will toward him. Even if he had been an absolute monster the past three months, he had still been her friend for many years before that, and a part of her would always worry for that boy she knew.
As for Paul, worry was laced into every thought of him. She didnât even want to imagine what harm could come to him at Jacob's hands, especially because of her. Her head was a mess, and her feelings were all jumbled, but she was sure that the last thing she wanted was for Paul to get hurt.
The second she had found Paulâs keysâthe purple bracelet giving them awayâshe snatched them from the table and ran outside, but Sam and Jared were quick to block her way. âLet me through,â she said. âI need to stop this.â
âThey need to do this, (Y/N),â Sam said. âThe only thing youâre going to do by going there is get hurt. Youâve already had enough of that.â
âI canât just sit by and let them hurt each other, Sam,â she exclaimed. âThey are two of the most stubborn people I have ever met. This could easily end in blood.â
âTheyâll heal,â Jared retorted. âItâs like Paul said, (Y/N). This has been a long time coming.â
âI donât think you really understand whatâs happening,â Embry interjected as he joined the other boys. âJacob was ready to let you die last night, (Y/N). He would have committed one of the betrayals a pack brother can do, and thatâs harming an imprint.â
âThis is just another stupid mistake that Jacob made,â Sam continued. âThis was a calculated decision that could have ended badly.â
âYouâre their alpha, Sam. Youâre supposed to make sure things like these donât happen between them.â
âRight now, I have bigger things to deal with than those two,â he sighed. âI canât tell you what to do, (Y/N). If you wanna go, then go. But Iâm telling you, this is gonna happen whether you want it to or not.â
âI have to do what I can,â she responded as she jumped into the driverâs seat of Paulâs truck. âBefore they do something they might regret.â
âIâll go with her,â Embry offered. âIf things get too out of hand, I can get in the middle.â
âFine,â Sam relented, knowing there was nothing he could do to drop (Y/N). âJust make sure she doesnât get close to them.â
âI will,â Embry assured, slipping into the truck. "She wonât get hurt.â
In a matter of seconds, (Y/N) was speeding down the road and heading toward the red cabin, praying to whatever was out there that the two boys had kept their cool for long enough. She knew everyone was reeling. Not just because of what had happened to her but because Harry Clearwater had passed. It was a moment of high levels of stress and a fight was the last thing anyone needed.
(Y/N) didnât really understand her need to protect them both. At least not completely. She should have wanted the vindication that came from someone finally putting Jacob in his place, but there was a part of her, a small part, that simply wanted to move on and forget that part of her life. But there was still the part that wanted the boy she had loved to be safe. No amount of retaliation would ever replace everything she had already given him.
At the Black residence, Billy, Jacob, and Paul were engaged in a heated argument. (Y/N) couldnât hear it, but she knew what it was. Before giving it another thought, she jumped out of the truck and ran toward them, ignoring the searing pain that shot through her ankle and Embry yelling her name.
âTell him, Jake,â Paul said, his gaze burning a hole in Jakeâs head. âTell your dad what you were gonna let happen last night.â
âDonât,â (Y/N) blurted before she could stop herself. âIt wonât do anyone any good.â
â(Y/N), look at the state of you,â Billy gasped. Her arms were covered in cuts and bruises, and her neck sported a darkening bruise in the shape of a hand. The man took in every visible wound before turning his head toward his son. âDid you do this, Jacob? Did you hurt (Y/N)?â
âNo! What the hell, dad?!â he questioned defensively. âHow could you think that?â
âBut you could have prevented it,â Paul seethed. âBut you didnât want to, did you, Jake?â
âYou better tell me the truth this instant, boy,â the older man fumed. âIâve had just about enough of your excuses. What happened last night, Jacob?â
âI-I-IâŠâ
âSpeak up!â
âI almost died,â (Y/N) responded quickly. âLast night, the vampire thatâs been hunting Bella found me, and she almost killed me. Left me with some pretty nasty wounds as a reminder.â
âAnd what about Jacob, (Y/N)? Please just tell me.â
âHe didnât⊠I didnâtâŠâ
âHe saw her long before we did,â Paul said, anger spewing from every word he spoke. âHe saw her with the bloodsucker, and he was going to let her die. All because he wanted Bella to run back to him. Your son was going to let (Y/N) die so that her sister was so heartbroken she would find solace in him.â
âThatâs not true, dad!â Jacob defended. âHow could you say that?â
âIt is true,â Embry sheepishly interjected. âYou let the memory slip this morning during our shift. You saw everything that the vampire was doing, and you did nothing. You wanted her to die, Jake.â
âWhat the fuck, Em? Youâre supposed to be my friend.â
âIâm not going to lie for you, Jake,â the boy assured. âNot when it comes to someoneâs life.â
Jacob took a step closer to Embry, anger clear on his features, but his father rolled into his path, his face matching in anger. âYou were going to let her die, Jacob?â Billy interjected. âDo you have any idea how deplorable that is? And to someone you supposedly loved once upon a time.â
âDad, it wasnât like that,â he whined. âTheyâre blowing things out of proportion. I just⊠I froze.âÂ
âYou didnât, Jake,â Embry corrected. âI heard your thoughts, and they were unforgivable.â
âShut up, Embry!â Jacob raised his fist, headed straight for his friendâs face, but Paulâs hand stopped it. The older boy pushed him back, making him stumble in his step. âYou donât want to pick another fight with me, Paul. Remember how the last one ended?â
And how could he not remember? He had reeled from the pain for weeks, knowing that not only had he hurt (Y/N) but that she was back in Jacobâs arms. But this time was different. Paul was different, and so was she. He had finally said the truth, and she had heard it. All they needed now was time and maybe a dash of retaliation.
âDonât push your luck, Jacob,â Paul said through gritted teeth as he squared up with the boy. âThe only reason I havenât bashed your head in is because (Y/N) doesnât want me to hurt you.âÂ
âLook at that,â he snickered before whispering so low only Paul could have heard it, âeven after all Iâve done, she cares more about my well-being than even her own.â
That did it. Paulâs hand recoiled before colliding with a loud snap with Jacobâs jaw. The hit made the younger boy lose his balance, and he tumbled to the ground with a surprised expression. But it didnât take long before he was up again and lunging for Paul. There were punches thrown, kicks, drags, and pushes. Every collision of limbs resounded across the yard, thundering into the woods beyond. It was a messily choreographed dance where both boys were fighting for dominance. Well, Paul was fighting for something he knew mattered much more than a measly win. He was fighting for (Y/N) and everything she had lost because of Jake.
But (Y/N) could not handle the scene unfolding before her. Where the boys were focused on besting the other, all the girl could see was the forming red marks, the dripping blood, and the shredded clothes. All she could see was hurt and pain and everything she was tired of experiencing. She begged for them to stop, her voice growing hoarse as they continued to tumble farther away. She tried to run after them, but both Embry and Billy stopped her.
âItâs your son, Billy,â (Y/N) cried. âArenât you gonna do something about it?â
âYou have too forgiving a soul, dear (Y/N),â he said sternly. âThat boy needs a firm punishment that only Paul can impart. This needs to happen. My son has made his choices, however despicable they may be, and he had to face his consequences.â
âBut Iâm fine. Iâm here. Iâm alive,â she exclaimed. âTheyâre just gonna get hurt. You have to stop them, Billy.â
âI cannot, (Y/N). Theyâll stop when they need to,â he shrugged as he took the girlâs hand in his. âBut this must happen. This is the reckoning he had won for himself. Maybe Paul will finally knock some sense into that boy, and Iâll get back the son I knew.â
âButâŠâ
âLet it go, (Y/N),â Embry said. âThis is happening. Theyâll fight, get hurt, and heal.â
Before her very eyes, the brawling boys transformed into massive wolves, ripping away their clothes and their skin. They snarled and nipped, trying their best to instill the deepest wound. One second, Jacob was dominating, bashing the other wolf into the ground. He growled and bit his back leg, trying his hardest to end the attack. But the next, it was Paul who was pouncing on the russet-brown wolf, dragging him through the grass by his scruff. Jake thrashed and barked, his limbs thrashing as he tried to break free. Their furs matted together with crimson red stains, signaling every part their teeth had been able to sink into.
But (Y/N) was restless. As she watched the boys hurl each other across the ground, she couldnât keep still. She could not simply stand there and watch as they continued to hurt each other for her sake.
The girl slipped out of Billyâs grip and ignored his calls as she ran toward the animals. âStop!â she cried out. âJust stop! Itâs enough!â
Paulâs head snapped toward her, worry evident in his wolfâs eyes because of her closeness. He whined toward her, begging her to go back to safety, but she didnât budge. At that moment, as the silver-furred wolf turned his entire attention to (Y/N), Jacob sprung from the ground and pounced on the boy, sinking his fangs into Paulâs shoulder.
âNo!â (Y/N) shrieked as Paul wailed a painful howl. âLet him go!â
Yet all Jacob did was bite down harder, making it impossible for Paul to move. He held the older boyâs leg in his mouth, allowing the red liquid to stain his fur, growling as he stared at the girl. But his victory did not last long as a grey wolf jumped from behind her and crashed his head into Jacobâs ribs, knocking the wind out of him and making him release Paul.
As soon as he was free, the silver canine slowly transitioned back into a human, revealing a curled-up and pained Paul Lahote. (Y/N) quickly ran toward the boy, taking her jacket off and draping it across his legs, tears quickly falling from her eyes. âOh god, Paul,â she sobbed, pressing a hand on his oozing wound. âWhat do I do? What can I do?â
Her hand came up red and drenched in blood, making her shudder. âIâm fine,â Paul groaned as he struggled to get up. âWell, Iâll be fine.â
âYouâre bleeding, Paul. Because of me,â she said. âThis is the last thing I wanted. I didnât want you to get hurt.â
âItâs not your fault, (Y/N),â he smiled, his eyes softening as they landed on hers. âAnd itâll take time, but Iâll heal.â
âI should have listened. I should have stayed away. IâŠâÂ
âI knew what I was doing, (Y/N),â he said. His unharmed hand reached up to cradle her cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. âAnd I would have done it a million times again because you deserve someone that would fight for you.â
âIâd rather have you be okay,â she whimpered, leaning into the warmth of his touch. âWe gotta get you inside and clean that wound up. Why isnât it healing fast?â
âWounds by other supernaturals take a bit longer to heal,â he replied. âAnd I canât really go inside right now.â
âYou canât stay here either, Paul,â she argued. âEmbry already took Jake away into the woods. The fight is over.â
âYeah, but Iâm also naked under this tiny jacket, and Iâm not sure I wanna expose myself just yet.â
Before (Y/N) could say anything elseânot that her beet-red cheeks hadnât said enoughâBilly rolled down the pathway, a blanket, and a towel on his lap. âWrap the towel around his shoulder, (Y/N),â he instructed. âIâll give you some clothes once weâre inside.â
The girl did as instructed before helping Paul to his feet. The sheet dragged across the ground and barely covered his chest, and pain shot through every part of his body. He could feel every scratch and bite across his limbs stinging as blood rushed to them, his body working overtime to heal. (Y/N) draped his healthy arm across her shoulder, wrapping her arms around his waist, trying her best to keep him steady. She barely reached his chin, but heâd be damned if he didnât revel in her touch.
Once inside, she didnât allow him to move another muscle. She fetched the clothes Billy told her to get and got the first aid kit from the bathroom while he dressed. In the kitchen, she got a bowl of warm water and a cloth before carefully washing away the blood from his visible wounds. She worked quickly and quietly, her brow furrowed in concentration, all of her attention focused on the task.
But it was the tears that glimmered in the corners of her eyes that captured Paulâs attention. âHey, hey, why are you crying, pretty girl?â he cooed softly as he cradled her face. âThose tears better not be because of me.â
âI canât help it,â she sighed as she finished wrapping his shoulder. âIf I hadnât distracted you, Jake wouldnât have bit you. I just wanted you guys to stop.â
âHey, that wasnât on you, (Y/N),â Paul responded softly. This was a sanctioned fight that I was not going to turn down. Iâve never liked Jacob, but I never really had a motive to beat him up. He got one dirty move in, but I pulled my own with him. Heâs going to have some wounds of his own to heal.â
âNone of this shouldâve happened, Paul,â she sniffled. âIf I hadnât pushed you away, this wouldnât have happened. If I had just left Jake when I needed to, this wouldnât have happened. I made so many wrong decisions that ended up here, and if I had made them, this wouldnât have happened.â
âDonât do that, (Y/N). Donât put this on yourself,â he assured. Even through the pain, he raised his other hand to cradle the other side of her face, using his thumbs to wipe away every stream of tears that fell. âIâm the one that could have prevented all of this. I should have told you everything from the very beginning, but I waited until it was too late. If anyone is at fault, itâs me.â
âI donât think I would have believed you,â she smiled as she closed her eyes to sink into his touch, reveling in the closeness and thankful for their safety. âI barely believed Bella until I saw you guys turn into wolves. And I was too blinded by Jacob to believe anything else.â
âIt still doesnât make any of this your fault. We all made decisions that had consequences, good and bad. Letâs just agree is not oneâs fault.â
âButâŠâ
âNo oneâs at fault, (Y/N),â he smiled. âNo one.â
Their eyes met and bore into one another, finding a glimmer they had not seen in a while. There was a sense of déjà vu that floated between them as they were taken back to the moment (Y/N) had been hurt herself and Paul had been the one to clean and wrap her wounds. They had been that close, the moment had been that intense, their feelings had been that undisclosed. But there was one distinct difference. There was no Jacob in the way.
Just as it had happened before, neither of them knew who had leaned in first, but in a matter of seconds, their faces had breached the distance between each other. Their noses were grazing each other, and their breaths caressed each otherâs skin, but neither made the final move. All they had to do was get closer. Just one slip andâŠ
âIâm sorry, (Y/N),â Billy interrupted. âBut could I have a moment with Paul? I just want to talk to him before he takes you home. I think itâs best you finally rest.â
âOh, of course,â she muttered. âIâll be in the living room.â
Once she was out of the room, Billy settled beside Paul, a warm smile stretched across his mouth. âIâm sorry for interrupting,â he chuckled softly. âBut you must know I am very protective of (Y/N). I may have been lenient and patient with my own sonâsomething I will regret for a long timeâbut I still care for her quite deeply.â
âI wouldnât hurt her, Billy,â the boy assured. âI wouldnât ever hurt her, not willingly.â
âI know that. Donât worry, kid,â he smiled. "I just wanted to thank youâfor today, I mean.â
âI donât think Iâve ever had a father thank me for beating his son up.â
âWell, normally I wouldnât, but that boy had long slipped from my hands, and I havenât been as strict as I should have,â the man sighed. âHe needed a reality check, and I know no better person to give it than you. What he did last night is not only unforgivable, itâs immoral and appalling. If his mother could see him now⊠letâs just say sheâd be quite disappointed. I donât know where I went wrong with him.â
âCanât say itâs on you. Jakeâs delusion is all him.â
âStill, I apologize for everything he has done,â Billy reaffirmed. âIâve always been quite protective of (Y/N), and I thought sheâd be safe with Jake. Unfortunately, I was wrong. But I certainly wasnât expecting you to be the one to look out for her. Still, I am grateful. Youâve proven to be quite the exemplary young man, Paul. And Iâm glad you are nothing like what people say of you.â
âShe deserves someone that isnât like who I used to be,â the boy confessed. âEver since the imprint bond, Iâve been trying to become the person I know she deserves. For the longest time, I havenât been, but I want toâIâm really trying.â
âAnd sheâs alive today because you have. I have not seen her smile like she did just now in a long time, and I have you to thank for.â He placed a comforting hand on Paulâs healthy shoulder, squeezing comfortingly. âYouâre a good kid, Paul, and I know youâll be the man she deserves. But I will say itâll take time for her to trust and love again. Give time to time, and everything will fall where it may.â
âWhat about Jake? What do you think will happen to him?â
âWell, I believe he will find himself alone, and heâll finally understand everything heâs done wrong,â Billy sighed. âSometimes we must hit our head against a wall to know weâve been walking down the wrong path, and I think he hit himself against a very strong wall.â
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Collision | Chapter 22
Word Count:Â 3.4K
Story Description:Â (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)âs and her life will never be the same.
A/N:Â can't believe how different my characters are in my twilight stories. this Paul is so much different than Speak Paul, and so is Jake, it kinda breaks my brain đ
<- Previous
A moment can feel like an eternity when the soul isnât at ease. Time seems to reverse and turn over on itself, holding the body hostage to its grapples. It twists the mind, numbs all reason, and feeds doubt. Time can sometimes be scarier than death itself.
(Y/N) could have sworn the entire day had passed before the pack finally walked through the doors. But the light coming from the outside told her it was still early. They walked in as though nothing had happened, and they hadnât just torn a vampire to shreds. The boys laughed and patted each other on the backs, celebrating as though their lives had not been in peril.
As soon as they came into view, the girl ran to her brother and wrapped her arms tightly around him. She wrapped them around his neck as his own caught her by the waist. Once she felt him with her own hands, she finally let out a strangled breath, allowing all the anxiousness to roll off her body.
âOh, thank the spirits youâre okay,â she breathed shakingly. âI thought something happened to you.â
âYou need to give me more credit here, bean,â he chuckled. âWe take this job seriously.â
âI was scared.â
âCome on, he was outnumbered,â Sam shrugged. âThere was no way we were going to let him go. He was easy meat.â
âSo, none of you got hurt? Youâre all okay?âÂ
âOf course we are,â Paul interjected. âThat guy had nothing on us.âÂ
âI told you they would be okay,â Emily said, carrying a plate of fresh biscuits that the boys dug into as quickly as it reached them. âThe boys always come home. Especially when they know that thereâs food on the table.â
âI knew I could smell chicken,â Jared grinned. âIâm starving, man.â
âWhen are you not?â Embry teased as he walked past him.
âOh, the young kid has some bark in him,â Jared chuckled. âYouâre finally one of us.â
Laughing, Embry, Jacob, and Paul walked right past (Y/N) and to the dining table. Jacob was about to do the same but stopped next to her. âBellaâs okay,â she said. âShe got home a while ago. Sheâs still a bit shaken up, mostly because of the giant wolves she saw.â
âOkay,â he said as he let out a breath of relief. âThanks.â
âSheâs tougher than she looks, Jake,â (Y/N) smiled. âSheâs also smart, and she has a lot of questions.â
âI know,â Jake sighed. âI donât know what Iâm gonna do.â
âForcing the imprint bond hasnât worked out?â the girl teased. âI thought it would.â
âNot funny, (Y/N),â he pouted. âBut no. I guess everyone was right. Itâs just⊠she deserves so much better.â
âDonât we all, Jake? Donât we all,â she said as she patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. âNow, go eat. You gotta refuel.â
âYeah. Iâll see you around, (Y/N).â
âBye, Jake.â
As the boy left her by herself, her gaze found her brother. He was sitting on a bench in the backyard, his shoulders slumped and a hand over his eyes. Sam was tired, that much she could tell. But it wasnât because of the vampire. No. It was a fatigue she knew very well.
âHey,â she said softly as she sat next to him. âHowâre you doing?â
âI told you weâre all good, Bean,â Sam smiled weakly.
âThatâs not what I mean, Sam. How are you?â
âIâm fine,â he breathed. âJust⊠tired. I was worried before that. We caught the leechâs scent first, and we were ready for a fightâfinally finish up whoâs been killing all those hikers. But then your scent was mixed up in it and I got so stressed that I wouldnât get to you in time. Iâve been worried that a bloodsucker would take you away from me, but I never thought it couldâve happened this way.â
âIâm not going anywhere, Sam,â (Y/N) said as she wrapped her arms around her brother. âNot for a while, at least.â
âIt was scary to realize how easy it would have been for that guy to kill you.â His voice trembled as he spoke, the protector mask quickly falling away. âWith how things were going with the doctor, I was sure I would have to get used to not having you near again. But today reminded me about how you could have been gone for good. And what wouldâve happened if you had no idea who we were? You would have no idea that we were trying to protect you, and you would have been just as terrified as Bella was. You would have been scared of me.â
âWell, I guess thatâs one thing you can be grateful about him,â (Y/N) smiled, squeezing her brotherâs hand comfortingly. âThis is one secret you donât have to hide from me.â
âItâs a shitty secret.â
âItâs a necessary one, Sam. You taught me that.â
âYeah, itâs the reason two of the people I love most in the world got hurt,â he grumbled. âItâs a shitty secret.â
âWhat? Youâre saying if it had been a choice, you would have said no?â
Sam sighed and let his head fall back as his eyes closed. âI donât know, honestly,â he admitted. âItâs an honor to have been chosen to protect our people. But sometimes, I just wish the responsibility fell onto someone else. If it hadnât been for this, so many lives would have been different. I know Iâm meant to be the strong one, but I just canât help but wonder why me sometimes.â
âDo you remember what you told me before I left for school?â (Y/N) said. âI wasnât sure why I had been the one chosen for the scholarship and I was so scared that the school had made a mistake that I wanted to stay home. You told me that the only one who didnât believe in me was myself âthat I would always be my harshest critic and that I would never believe how amazing I was no matter how much people told me. Well, now itâs your turn, Sam. Youâre doing an amazing job as an alpha. Youâre keeping out people safe, you have a beautiful fiancĂ©e that loves you, and youâre the best brother a girl could ask for. If the universe chose this job for you, it was for a reason.â
âYeah, an alpha that didnât have a hold on things and managed to not only scar the woman I love, but I couldnât even stop you from getting hurt,â he exclaimed. âAnd now all these hikers are dead, and even though we killed this leech, another one with a vendetta is gonna come here for the Swab girl. I just canât seem to do things right. I have no business caring for all these people.â
âSam, I canât think of anyone else that would be perfect for the job. Youâve been taking care of me and mom for a long time. Even when you didnât have to, you always made sure we were okay. You made me dinner when mom was at work after school, you were there at every science fair, you even taught me how to ride a freaking bike,â she chuckled. âI donât think you realize how good of a person and a leader you are. How you always step up to the plate when anyone needs you, no matter how trivial the matter is. Youâre an amazing brother and an amazing alpha. We are all gonna lose someone sometime, no matter how hard we try to save them. Our job is to save those we can.â
Sam allowed the words of his sister to skin into his head, slowly allowing his body to relax. He settled into the bench comfortably and draped an arm around (Y/N) to bring her in for a side hug. âSince when do I have a little sister that is so smart?â he teased lovingly. âDonât remember the moment you got old enough to give me advice.â
âSam, youâre barely older than me.â
âDoesnât change the fact that Iâm older.â
âNo. Youâre just old.â
The pair of siblings joined the rest of the pack soon after, gathering around the table to enjoy the feast that Emily had prepared. They ate, they laughed, they talked, and finally, they crashed all around the fireplace in the living room. Jared and Embry had taken the sofas, and Emily and Sam had excused themselves to their room while Jacob had said his goodbyes and gone back home. The only people that were left awake were Paul and (Y/N), tension surrounding the air around them.
(Y/N) knew that avoiding Paul couldnât last much longer, especially not when she could have lost him that afternoon. She had waited for him to come home, breathless and terrified that the last moments she had spent with him had been avoiding him. The survival of their friendship rested on the conversation she did not want to have with him, but she knew it was essential if she ever wanted him to stay her best friend.
âSo,â she said, finally breaking the silence. âHowâve you been?â
âOh, you finally have some time for me in your busy schedule?â Paul teased. âHow lucky am I? Maybe I should face vampires more often.â
âVery funny, Paul.â
âHey, Iâm not the one that has been avoiding you for weeks now,â he shrugged as he threw his hands up in defeat. âWhatâs that about?â
The girl sighed as she restless her head against the wall, staring up at the wooden ceiling than into Paulâs eyes. She could feel his state burning a joke through her skull, seaman ding entrance into her innermost thoughts. âPaul, you know what itâs about,â she responded. âYou were getting too attached, and I didnât know how to manage that.â
âAre you serious, (Y/N)? I was growing too attached?â Pail spoke in shouted whispers, wanting nothing more than to explode at that. But exhaustion clawed at his body, and the last thing he wanted was to let his wolf out. âAnd what have you that brilliant idea?â
âPaul, come on. The night Jacob finally turned, I could hear it in your voice,â she recalled. âYou said there was something you just had to tell me, and Iâm pretty certain I know what it is.â
âOh yeah, Einstein? And whatâs that?â
âThat you want more,â she stated. âThat you want us to be more.â
Surprise ran through Paulaâs face before quickly transforming into an angry scowl. It had been what (Y/N) had wanted to avoid, but it was no use to continue pushing the inevitable. âCome on, (Y/N),â he exclaimed. âYou canât tell me it doesnât make sense. We work well together, we have chemistry, and we have known each other for so long. Why wonât you just give it a chance?â
âBecause I donât see you that way, Paul, and I never will,â she responded. âYouâre my best friend, yes, and we get along well because of it. It doesnât mean that I want to be with you. I told you from the start that this was not gonna be anything other than just a physical thingâI was very clear on that.â
âSo, what? You just use me for my fucking body but wonât even give yourself a chance to see if you might have feelings for me?â Paul spat. âIs it because of the bloodsucker? He broke you so much that you wonât give anyone else a chance?â
âThis has nothing to do with him. I simply donât have feelings for you, Paul.â
âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me!â His voice rose as he jumped to his feet. âHeâs not coming back, (Y/N)! He left you. He took his family, and he left you. Why wonât you get over him already?â
âWhether he was here or not, my feelings for you wouldnât change. I see you as a friend, and Iâll always see you as a friend, Paul,â (Y/N) stated, trying her best to stay calm. She knew that playing into his game would only work to make him angrier, and the result could be catastrophic. âIf you canât handle that, then I think itâs best we just cool things off.â
âOh my god, you are still in love with him,â he scoffed. âAfter all that bullshit that you went through for months. He told you he didnât care about you. He said you were only a moment in his eternal life. He doesnât love you, and he never fucking did.â
By that point, the pair had gotten an audience, the two teens that were asleep on the couches had woken up and Sam had come out of his room. But none of that seemed to deter Paul from continuing with his rant. He was seeing red and didnât care if what he said hurt her. âYou donât care that he stomped on your heart and didnât give it another thought. I bet youâd take him right back if he asked,â he spat. âI guess you both have something in common, though. You take what you want from people and, once youâre done with them, you throw them away.â
âThatâs quite enough, Paul.â
âNo, Sam, itâs okay,â (Y/N) interjected. âFrom the beginning, you knew what you were getting into, Paul. I didnât want a relationship, and I sure as hell have never given you any indication that I wanted one with you. Iâm sorry if you are hurt, but I was very clear about what I did and didnât want. Itâs not my fault you believed this could ever go anywhere.â
âYou knew exactly what you were doing when you asked me to be your fuck buddy,â the boy seethed. âYou knew youâd be leading me on, and you held it over me like a fucking toy.â
âDonât you dare put this on me, Paul,â she said, her tone rising as frustration overtook her. âI was very clear. I was very honest. Not once did I ever say or even insinuate that I wanted to be with you. Iâm sorry that I did use you for your body and the convenience, but it is not my fault that you deluded yourself into believing that we could be together.â
âYou are honestly unbelievable, (Y/N). You used me, and now you wanna make it my fault,â Paul pushed. He closed the distance between them, towering over her like a dark cloud. He could see or hear reason; he couldnât even admit that everything he was saying was a lie. All he could see was red. âNo wonder you fell for a bloodsucker. Youâre just as heartless and cold as them. I bet you wouldnât even give betraying us a second thought if it meant you could save one of them. Maybe he left you before you could leave him. After all, it is in your genes.â
The words struck a chord in (Y/N). She gathered all the strength she had, recoiled her hand, and slapped Paul firmly across the face. But where everyone was expecting her hand to shatter at the contact, the hit went through and made the boyâs face snap to the side. The mere surprise had him stumbling a couple of steps back, holding his face as it grew pink from the strike.
After the initial shock, anger bubbled inside him, and he charged toward (Y/N). But he couldnât even make it a step toward her before Jared and Embry were shielding her. The boys grabbed Paulâs arms and held him back as he fought, yelling at them to let him go.
âThatâs enough!â Samâs voice bounced off the walls, sending shivers even down (Y/N)âs back. âGet out of here, Paul, and cool off. Thatâs an order. Go with him, Jared.â
The second-in-command pulled Paul out of the house and far from view, leaving Sam and Embry with a tearful (Y/N).
âHey, Embry, can you give us a second?â
âUh, yeah, sure,â he mumbled. âYou okay, (Y/N)?â
âYeah, Iâm okay,â she sniffled. âThanks.â
 âIâll, uh, be in the guest room until my shift starts.â
Once the boy had left, Sam wrapped his arms tightly around his sister, allowing her to crumble in his embrace. âHeâs an ass, (Y/N),â he whispered. âAnd he had no right to say any of those things.â
âBut heâs a little bit right,â she cried. âA few months ago, I was ready to leave everyone behind for a man that didnât even spare me a thought. And then I used Pau to fill a void someone else left, knowing he had feelings for me. Iâm just like dad.â
âHey, absolutely not. You are nothing like him,â Sam affirmed. He cradled her face in his hands, wiping away the tears on her cheeks. âYou are by far one of the most amazing human beings I know. Youâre intelligent, youâre caring, and so determined. I donât think you know just how proud I am of you. Paulâs just butthurt that you donât like him. He doesnât deal well with rejection.â
âIt doesnât mean heâd no right.â
âWhat could he possibly be right about? Heâs barely passing his classes.â
âI still love him,â she answered meekly, her voice so low and broken she wasnât sure she had said anything at all. âI miss him every single day, no matter what I do to forget him. I keep waking up thinking heâll be just a drive away, but then I get to the hospital, and his office is empty. Itâs not a bad dream, Sam. Itâs my reality.â
âBean, I didnât⊠why didnât you tell me you were feeling like this?  I thought things were better.â
âWell, I thought the last thing you wanted to hear about was about my ex-boyfriend, who is literally centuries older than me and is your natural-born enemy,â (Y/N) chuckled through her tears. âAnd itâs not easy to say that Iâm not over the guys that told me I was just a spec of sand in his lifetime.â
âLove is a strange thing, (Y/N). Itâs hard to come by, and it takes forever to move on from. It hurts for a really long time, until one day you wake up and it doesnât anymore,â he said, brushing back strands of her hair. âI donât care who this guy is, Bean. If you need me, if you need to talk, you just have to tell me. I am here for anything you need. He may have been my enemy, but you are my sister, and that trumps everything.â
âDo you think theyâll ever come back?â
âMaybe not in our lifetime. The last time they left, they didnât come back for almost seventy years. If they do come back, itâll be long after weâre dead,â he shrugged. âDo you want them to?â
âIs it selfish if I say I do?â
âI mean, it does make me question how weâre related,â he teased. âBut I donât think youâre selfish for it. Just promise me one thing.â
âWhat?â
âIf by some weird trick of the universe they do decide to come back, that you wonât go back to him, (Y/N). Or at least give him hell for it first.â
âI can promise you I will make him grovel until his knees give out,â she grinned softly. âBut I do hope that, if they donât come back, living without him gets easier soon enough. I hate carrying this black hole inside me.â
âItâll get better one day, Bean,â he said as he wrapped his arms around her. âBut while it isnât, let me carry this burden with you. And just take things one at a time. Focus on school and work and forget about this whole thing with Paul. Heâll see reason soon enough.â
âI love you, Sam. Thank you fed everything that youâve done.â
âI love you too, kid.â
âIâm only a year younger than you,â she laughed.
âA year is still a year,â he smiled as he chuckled. âNow, letâs get you home so you can rest and forget this all happened.â
Yet, it was a moment none of them would be able to rid from their minds. (Y/N) should not have been able to slap Paul without hurting herself, and she most definitely should not have hurt him. But, at that moment, no one was thinking about that. All they wanted was comfort and rest, and thatâs all they did. Because in their town, there was always something new lurking around the corner.
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Hey everyone, I want to introduce to you all to the reason I have only been able to write on my phone and one handed:
Meet little Miss Olivia Rosalie Hope. Well, Rosalie is only in my head because no one else wanted that name at home đ€. But since sheâs still such a baby, she requires a lot of attention, so writing has been a bit difficult. But hopefully I am able to get some chapters out to yâall. đ
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I'm Not Afraid | Chapter 17
Word Count:Â 3.5K
Story Description:Â (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her fatherâs sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousinâs, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack, as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.
A/N: uh oh, things are changing...
<- Previous
There was a tense air between (Y/N) and Derek as they reached her house. He helped her off the bike and kept his hand on her lower back as they walked to her front porch but did not say a single word. His stare was a million miles away, and she could tell his thoughts had been running rampant in his head.
âAre you okay, Derek?â the girl finally broke the silence as she slid her key into the door. âYou feel weird. Like, distant.â
âIâm fine,â he said, his stoic façade still plastered on his face. âI just need to make sure youâre home safe before I get my pack.â
âTheyâre fine. Theyâre hiding up in my room.â She pulled out her phone from her pocket and showed him Isaacâs text confirming that they had locked themselves in her house. âBut I need to know what youâre hiding right now because I know somethingâs up.â
âEverythingâs fine,â he huffed. âWhy are they here?â
âI thought theyâd be safe here,â she responded. âDonât change the topic, Derek. You know you canât lie to me.â
âI just⊠we gotta stay away from each other for a while, okay? Believe me when I say, itâs for the best.â
The answer took (Y/N) aback. She stepped away from his touch, as though suddenly it burned her. His words had seemingly come out of nowhere. They were in a good spot, she thought. They werenât exactly in a relationship, but they werenât not in one either. They had been speaking consistently for the past couple of weeks, they had seen each other when they could, and they had kissed. God, did they kiss. âI-I-I donât understand,â she stammered as she blinked away her confusion. âI thought we were good. I mean, I know our situation isnât exactly ideal, but I didnât think it was going bad.â
âItâs just not the time to deal with feelings, (Y/N),â he sighed. âI have to focus on how to get rid of the Kanima and why Scott would betray us. I simply donât have the bandwidth to focus on you too.â
âOh, I didnât know I was such a distraction,â (Y/N) scoffed, putting another step of distance between them. âYou know, it was only a few weeks ago that you were saying you wanted this to work. No matter how long it took or what hurdles we had to go through. You said I wouldnât have to go through life alone, not while you were here. Was that all just bullshit?â
âIt wasnât⊠It isnâtâŠâ He ran his hands across his face in frustration, letting out an infuriated groan. âWith everything thatâs going on, I canât risk being close to you, (Y/N). The more time that passes with the Kanima here, the more hunters will arrive. Especially now that I have a target on my back, thanks to your cousin. Being with you only makes that target bigger, and it puts it on my pack too. I have to make the right decision for them.â
âSo, everything Iâve done to help you guys out means nothing?â she cried, biting down the tears that threatened to spill. âIâve stuck my neck out for you on more than one occasion. I think Iâve proven to be an asset to you and your pack when it comes to my family.â
âYou have and Iâm grateful,â he said. Derek took a beat before continuing. It seemed he knew the next words out of his mouth would drive a wedge between them that he wasnât sure would ever be removed. âI just donât know if one day youâll turn on us like Allison has done to Scott, or even like Kate did to me.â
If there was anything he could say that would drive (Y/N) away, it was that. Her fears of one day becoming like her aunt still haunted her to that day. It was a quiet but haunting rumble in the pits of her mind, fed by her insecurities and her fears, and very much alive.
âA-are you serious?â (Y/N) wanted to appear confident and confrontational. But she couldnât help the way her voice broke. âDo you really think Iâd be capable of doing something like that?â
âI canât be sure, (Y/N). I want to believe that you wonât and that you and your father are truly on our side, but I have to take precautions. Itâs not just my life thatâs at stake.â
(Y/N) didnât know if his words stung more than the unchanging expression on his face. There was no care, no compassion. She wasnât talking to Derek, her sour wolf. She was speaking to Derek, the alpha. âWhat brought this on, Derek?â she asked. âWhat made you change your mind all of a sudden?âÂ
âIt wasnât anything specifically. Itâs just⊠the situation weâre in is basically unheard of, and I need to make sure that Iâm putting a hundred percent of my brain into resolving this,â he said. âAnd if Scott isnât going to help, then I have to find a way to end this once and for all. I canât be worrying about the hunters coming from your side too.â
 Words died in the girlâs mouth as she tried to conceal the hurt that coursed through her veins. It was a betrayal like no other. âIs that really how you feel?â (Y/N) asked, her resolve quickly coming undone. âYou once told me that you knew that I would never be like Kate. That there was no way I could be that heartless. Does that mean you lied? Have you always felt this way?â
And with determination like she had never seen from him, he said, âYes.â By then, she couldnât hold back the tears, but she wouldnât let him see her hurt. She couldnât keep the drops from falling, but she could keep her sobs inside. â(Y/N)âŠâ
âGo,â she said sternly, facing her door and giving him her back.
â(Y/N), IâŠâ
âI said go, Derek,â she restated, raising her voice. âYou can call your pack after. But you need to get out of here right now.â
Before he could say another word, (Y/N) slipped into her house and locked the door behind her. Shuddering cries threatened to break through, so she clasped her fist into her mouth and bit down. She did not want him to hear her. Heâd been able to shatter her heart with a few words, but he did not deserve to know her pain. Not anymore.
As the tears fell, she remembered the cuts on her face. Every time another drop fell, it sank into the open wound, mixing blood and salty water down her cheeks. The sting was enough to subside the pain in her chest, but not enough to make it go away. And all she wanted was for it to go away.
Suddenly, soft steps on her stairs forced her head to snap forward to see a witness to her despair. Erica wore a sympathetic smile on her face, something that surprised (Y/N) out of her tears. It had been the first time she had even held a kind gaze toward the girl, always throwing sarcastic comments or unnecessary jabs her way. But at that moment, she came to her as a friend.
âLetâs fix up that face,â she said. âWhereâs the first aid kit?â
âUh, um,â (Y/N) cleared her throat. âThereâs one under the kitchen sink.â
âLetâs go.â
The blonde helped her up from the ground and followed her quietly into the kitchen. She didnât throw snarky remarks her way or make fun of the way her face was most likely a disaster. All she did was remain silent and try to help.
Once the first aid bag was on the counter, Erica patted a stool to instruct the girl to sit. Something she very much obliged to before the werewolf set to work. She put on a pair of black gloves and set to clean the wound with cleansing wipes, clearing away any debris or tear that might have mixed with her blood.
âThis is gonna sting a bit, okay?â Erica announced as she uncapped the liquid stitch bottle. âDo you need something to bite down on?â
âNo,â (Y/N) smiled softly. âGo ahead.â
The girl winced softly as the liquid touched her skin, but it was quickly replaced with the comfort of Ericaâs soft hands pinching the slash closed. She repeated the step two more times before cleaning the area once more and covering it with a gauze bandage. âThere,â Erica said as she finished bandaging her arm as well. âThe wound should breathe during the night to help with the healing. Try to keep it dry or without direct water contact for about five days, and you should be good.âÂ
âThanks,â she said. âYouâre good at this.â
âIâve had one too many falls not to be,â the girl chuckled as she put away the kit. âItâs actually the reason Iâve always wanted to become a doctor. I wanted to make sure no one else went through what I did.â
âWhy canât you?â
âAt first it was because I was so behind in school, Iâd never get the grades to get into a good school,â she shrugged. âNow, with the whole werewolf thing, I donât think I could.â
âWhy not? I think now itâll be so much easier for you,â (Y/N) offered. âNow, you donât have to deal with the seizures, and you can focus on your schoolwork. Later on, Iâm sure any school would be begging to have you go there.â
âI donât know,â the blonde sighed. âI guess, after seeing everything I have and going through what we have in such little time, I think med school seems stupid in the grand scheme of things. I would love to live a normal life, but I donât think I was ever meant to. I mean, at first, it was epilepsy. Now, itâs the fact that Iâm part wolf, part human, and I have yet to get that under control.â
Seeing Erica be vulnerable and sweet surprised (Y/N), and it was a welcome distraction to whatever it had been that had gone down with Derek. âYou know this is going to end someday,â she tried to comfort her. âWeâre gonna beat the Kanima, and the hunters will go back to their own lives. Life wonât always be like this.â
âHow can you be so sure? Something tells me thereâs always gonna be something in this town,â she chuckled dryly. âThe only way to go back to normal is to leave.âÂ
âIs that what you want? To leave Beacon Hills?â
âI mean, itâs a plan,â she shrugged as she sat beside (Y/N). âI didnât think it would be like this. The constant looking over my shoulder, the fear that Iâll be caught, the fear that Iâll be killed. I wanted the strength, the power that came with being supernatural. But I didnât really measure the danger that came with it. Unfortunately, not every hunter can be like you.â
âI think thatâs the first time youâve ever complimented me,â (Y/N) chuckled. âDonât know how I feel about it.â
âDonât get used to it,â the girl grinned. âBut seriously, you have no reason to protect us like you have. I mean, apparently, even lovesick Allison turned on lover boy.â
âYeah, grief makes you do unthinkable things,â she sighed. âEspecially when you have a monster like Gerard whispering in your ear.â
âAnd he doesnât whisper in yours?â
âGod no. I donât think he particularly likes my family. At least my dad and I.â
âOoh, family drama?â
âNone that I know the details of, but I know it has something to do with me and some woman from my dadâs past,â (Y/N) explained, remembering the not-so-hushed words from her parents. âAlso, my dad sort of sides with the wolves rather than the hunters. He thinks their methods are too extreme and cause more harm than good. He told me he wants to change the group from the inside out, but itâs hard.â
âAnd you believe him?â Erica inquired, biting the skin from her fingers. (Y/N) could see she hadnât noticed yet. It was something she did before turning, a way to calm her senses when everything seemed too much. âDo you really believe heâs on our side?â
âHe helped me find Derek tonight, and he covered for me about the rave. I donât think he would lie to me about that. My mom on the other handâŠâ
âCanât stand us?â
âYup.â
âWell, you can tell her the feeling is mutual.â
âHey,â (Y/N) exclaimed with a smile. âThatâs my mom youâre talking about.â
âNo offense,â Erica laughed as she threw her arms up in surrender. âBut seriously, I donât think Iâve ever said this, but thank you, (Y/N). Iâve unnecessarily been a bitch to you, and you donât deserve that. So, Iâm sorry.â
âAm I really getting an apology from Erica Reyes? I think I might be dreaming.â
âOh, come on,â she chuckled. âIâm trying to be serious hereâvulnerable. I am grateful for what youâve done for me, even when I was horrible to you. You didnât have to.âÂ
âWell, you got the bitch part down, I didnât think I needed it, too,â (Y/N) grinned before she took Ericaâs hand and smiled warmly. âBut it means a lot that you apologized. Thank you. Maybe from here on out, we could be friends. I honestly need more in this town.â
âI think that would be great,â she beamed. âIâve been needing a dose of estrogen after so many months surrounded by testosterone.â
As the girls laughed, footsteps came down the stairs and quickly joined them in the kitchen, followed by the pitter-patter of claws against the hardwood floor. âWell, look at these two fraternizing,â Isaac told Boyd. âNever thought Iâd see the day.â
âI would be rude not to when itâs her house,â Boyd shrugged. âWhich, again, thank you for letting us hide out here. We havenât really received any other instruction from Derek.â
âYeah, and I donât think you will anytime soon.â
âWhat do youâŠ?â Isaacâs words died in his throat as he noticed (Y/N)âs bandages and the smell of iron in the air. He was quick to rush to her side, inspecting her visible skin for any other wound. âWhat the hell happened?â
âAh, just a small run-in with Jackson,â she shrugged as she knelt to pet Brody, scratching him on the spot behind his ears he loved so he wouldnât worry about her. âIâll be fine. I just donât heal as fast as you guys do.â
âHow serious was the cut?â Isaac asked Erica, knowing (Y/N) would only wave him off. âWas it deep? I knew I should have gone with you to the station.â
âIt wasnât deep enough to need stitches, Isaac. Sheâll be fine.â
âDude, calm down,â Boyd chuckled. âSheâs tougher than she looks.â
âThank you, Boyd,â she smiled toward the boy. âI really appreciate the vote of confidence. You should learn from him, Lahey.â
âYeah, itâs all fun and games until you get seriously hurt,â he grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest. âI canât believe I let you go there by yourself. I should have been there.â
âAnd risk getting caught by my grandfather? Absolutely not,â she reprimanded. âAs a matter of fact, all of you need to lay low because while Jackson is still the Kanima, more hunters will keep flooding into town, and I donât wanna risk any of you getting caught. If you need a place to stay, I think I can talk to my dad and help you guys out. Maybe tell my mom the basement flooded and keep you guys there?â
âThanks, (Y/N),â Boyd smiled. âWeâll talk to Derek first. See what the next steps will be.â
âYeah,â she scoffed lightly. âAnd if you can find out what the hell is going on with him in the meantime, Iâd greatly appreciate it.â
The four of them spent the next hour in her kitchen, talking and laughing like normal teenagers until Erica and Boyd said they were too tired to still be awake and headed to (Y/N)âs room. But not before the girl turned and thanked Argent for giving her a night where she felt normal. After that, only Isaac and her were left downstairs.
They had moved into the living room, where (Y/N) rested her head on his lap, and Brody curled up right beside them. Henry had texted her that he and her mother would be staying over at Chrisâ house and that heâd keep her posted on anything that would be going down.
âI donât understand what happened, Isaac,â she sighed as she felt his hands running through her hair. âEverything was going great until just an hour ago. What made Derek change his mind?â
âHonestly, I wish I could tell you,â he said. âBut Derekâs not one to really talk about whatâs going on in his head. The only time heâs ever been nice to me is when youâre around. Heâs quite a dick when youâre not around.â
âBut heâs still your alpha.â
âItâs not like there are many options here,â he chuckled. âAnd I guess I feel a bit indebted to him. If it hadnât been for the bite, Iâm pretty sure I would have ended up in the hospital, or even worseâŠâ
Isaac couldnât bring himself to say the words, instead taking in a shuddering deep breath. (Y/N) could see his eyes getting cloudy with tears as fear overtook him. Even if that part of his life was buried, there was no way to repress the memories.
âIâm sorry you had to go through that, Isaac,â she responded quietly, taking his free hand in hers. âAnd Iâm sorry you had to go through it alone. I wish I could have at least been your friend back then.â
âI think you came at the perfect time,â he smiled softly. âJust long enough to get my shy and adorable side and stay to see my resurgence into an amazing and confident werewolf teenager.â
âYou know, some people would say cocky and self-absorbed.â
âWell, those people would be wrong,â he chuckled. âBut you did come at the right time. Those last couple of months, you actually gave me hope. If we had spent more time together, I think I may have even refused the bite.â
âWould you have, really?â (Y/N) mused. âWould you have given it all up?â
âI think so,â Isaac shrugged. âI mean, people around us donât seem disturbed by whatâs going on in this town. All I would have to worry about is whether or not I could pass my classes, and well, social services I guess.â
âNot funny,â she reprimanded, slapping him softly on the chest. âBut the supernatural does suit you.â
âIt does, doesnât it?â
âOh, calm down, Lahey.â
âIâm just kidding, Argent,â the boy laughed. âAs for Derek, all you have to do is give it time. He can be a moody one.â
âSomething feels different this time, though,â she sighed. âI donât know what it is, but somethingâs just off.â
The last thing Derek had wanted was to make her cry. Hearing her sobs through her door made his heart wrench in his chest, and all he could do was get as far away from her as he could. His legs took off in a soft run at first but quickly turned into a supernatural sprint that had his lungs aching for air. All he could do was run.
Soon enough, the scenery of houses and cars turned into trees and bushes. Leaves crunched under his feet, and branches snapped as he stepped on them. Even when a rock stood in his way and threatened to make him lose his balance, he simply kept running.
He wished (Y/N) knew that what he did had been for her own good. If she wasnât by his side, there was no way she could be used as a bargaining chip. Especially not with Peter back. He didnât trust his own life in the hands of his uncle; how could he entrust him with (Y/N)âs?
By the time he had reached his familyâs house, his body ached all over. Frustration filled his veins, and his limbs ached with the need for violence. He let out an exasperating scream before his fist went through a wooden board. He didnât know if he wanted to keep breaking down the house or just sit down and cry. As much as he wanted to be by (Y/N)âs side, he knew that the best thing for her would be for him to stay as far away as possible. He had lived long enough with loneliness, though none as hurtful as this one for a long time. (Y/N) would soon enough move on from him, and heâd be the one to carry the hurt. As long as Peter was in town and her family would punish her for her affiliations, heâd just have to stay away.
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Speak | Chapter 24
Word Count:Â 4.1K
Summary:Â Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didnât expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf.
A/N:Â sorry the chapter is late, guys. had a party this weekend and had no time to write. but here it is! đ
TAGLIST CLOSEDÂ
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Morning brought unimaginable pain for (Y/N). As she stirred awake, the soreness that ransacked her body gripped her lungs tightly stopping all air from filling them. She wanted to yell out, but the dead was so intense that the sound died in her throat.
She reached her hands out, trying to make sense of where she was and how she could get help. Her mind was hazy, her memories failing to register inside her head. Until she felt warmth, and she remembered.
âPaul,â she meekly croaked out. âPaul, please.â
In a second, the bot had jumped out of the bed and was by her side. âWhatâs wrong?â he said, his voice dropping an octave with sleep hanging onto every word. âWhat do you need?â
âIt hurts,â she groaned. âI think⊠pills.â
(Y/N) had no energy to form more than a few words, not when pain pain seated into every part of her body. Her eyes followed Paulâs figure as he ripped the door open to go find what she needed. But before he could run, Emily appeared. She wore a warm smile on her face and carried a bottle of pills and a glass of water. Without another word, she handed the glass and two of the pills to (Y/N), who downed them as quickly as she could.
âDonât try to get up until you feel the pills work,â Emily said as she ticked the girl back into the bed. âIâve left some clothes for you in the bathroom and a towel. Your own clothes were quite shredded, so I put them in a bag for youâwasnât sure what youâd want to do with them.â
âAre you on your way out?â Paul asked. âThe funeral starts in like half an hour, right?â
âYes,â the woman smiled softly. âSam is just finishing getting ready. They came home an hour ago from doing some more rounds in the woods.â
âOh, Harry,â (Y/N) cried as she remembered parts of the nights before. âMy dadâŠâ
The girl tried to get up from the bed, but the pain that shot through her back sent her back down. The wince that left her mouth had Emily and Paul rushing to her side to keep her from getting out of bed.
âDonât get out of bed, (Y/N). You need rest,â Emily pressed. âYou can talk to your dad after. For right now, you need to stay here and take the painkillers every four hours until you feel well enough to get home. I will give condolences to the family on your behalf.â
âBut IâŠâ
âNo buts, (Y/N). Youâre staying here with Paul until you can finally move,â she said sternly. âThis is not up for discussion, okay? What happened last night was not something small. You are hurt and you need to rest. Youâve gone through enough.â
âOkay,â (Y/N) gave up. âThank you, Emily. Youâve been very kind.âÂ
âOh, no need to thank me,â she smiled. âAs long as you promise that you two will finally talk things out. I cannot live another day with mopey Paul.â
âEmily,â the boy complained.
âOh, hush, Paul. You know itâs the truth.âÂ
As he was about to respond, Samâs head peeked into the room. It was odd to see him dressed up in a black suit and not his usual denim shorts and tank top. âEm, weâve gotta go,â he said before noticing that (Y/N) was awake. âHow are you feeling, kid? You really took a tumble yesterday.âÂ
âI canât say Iâm not hurting all over, but it could be worse,â she joked trying to lift Samâs mood. There was a sadness behind his eyes that she could feel deep in her bones. Sam hadnât just lost a member of the community; he had lost a part of his family. âSafe to say Iâm not going into the woods or jumping off cliffs anytime soon.â â
âThatâs probably a good idea,â he chuckled softly. âBut you should listen to Emily and rest up for today. You went through more in the last twenty-four hours than people would in their lifetime.â
âItâs just the Swan way,â she said. âIâd be surprised if I never stumbled into life-threatening situations without meaning to.âÂ
âWell, I hope you donât go through any more in a very long time,â Sam smiled. Emily walked to join his side as they prepared to leave for Harryâs funeral, the same solemn look falling over their faces. âWeâll see you when we get back, guys. Thereâs food in the fridge if you get hungry.â
âI also left some fresh muffins on the kitchen counter,â Emily added. âBut youâre welcome to anything here.â
âThanks,â Paul answered. âPlease tell Sue how sorry I am.â
âOf course,â she smiled. âNow, get to talking, you two.â
The couple left the house with Jared and Embry trailing quietly behind them, leaving (Y/N) and Paul to their own devices. It was quiet for a moment. Only the sound of the wind rustling the trees could be heard, not even birds were singing. The air around them was heavy and eerie, mirroring the feeling of many people in the reservation.
But silence wouldnât fix things. It hadnât done anything but drive a wedge between the two for a very long time. It had been the one thing that kept (Y/N)âs life stuck in the same pattern for over a decade. Silence had allowed hurt and discomfort to fester in her life for far too long, and there was no space for it anymore.
âI know I said I wanted to last night, but I donât want to fight,â she said quietly. âIâm tired of fighting, of being on the defensive.â
âI donât want to fight either,â Paul was quick to respond. He slid down the wall beside her and onto the floor, unsure of how much closeness she was comfortable with at that moment.
âYou lied to me, Paul,â she added. âNot just about the whole werewolf thing, but that you werenât hiding anything else.â
âWhat do youâŠ?âÂ
âJacob told me about the imprint bond,â she interrupted. The words felt like gravel in her throat as they reminded her of every jab Jake had thrown at her. âI donât understand why you find it so easy to lie to me, Paul. I thought we were always meant to do the honesty thing. But somehow, when I find myself wanting to forgive you, I find out youâve lied to me about something else. The worst part is I donât know how to trust you anymore.â
âWhat did he tell you?â the boy asked, unsure of what his words could be. âA-about the whole imprint thing, what did he say?â
âHe told me that every wolf has one, and all it takes is for their eyes to meet for your entire world to change,â (Y/N) said. âHe said that youâre meant to become whatever your imprint needs you to be and that there will always be an unnatural pull toward each other. He said thatâs the reason we couldnât seem to stay away from each other⊠and that the imprint bond is the only reason someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me.â
Paulâs face contorted at what she said. A mix of anger and sadness forced its way onto his features, unable to hide the sting from her words. Once more, Jacob had beaten him to the punch out of spite twice. He had done it not only to hurt him, but to hurt (Y/N). And he couldnât let it slide any longer. âThatâs not all there is to it,â he said, trying his best to contain his angerâit wasnât directed at her, and heâd be damned if he let her be the bearer of it again. âThe moment you see them, your entire sense of self changes. Your entire reason of being is themâto protect them, to care for them, to be what they need when they need it. They are the force with which your world moves. Itâs true that there is an unnatural pull toward them, but itâs so much more. Being away from them is physically painful, like air canât really reach your lungs or blood doesnât get to your brain. I donât know how to explain it better than it feels like youâre walking through life with a hole in the middle of your chest.â
âSo, if Iâm your imprint, that mean youâve been feeling that way for a long time?â
âWell, yeah,â he admitted. âBut thatâs my fault.â
âI still donât understand why you couldnât tell me this,â (Y/N) exclaimed. âI was going crazy because after the bonfire I couldnât get you out of my head. For years, I had wanted Jacob and I had him, but you snuck into every thought, every dream, every moment. Jake asked me from the first time we saw each other to keep my distance from you. And I would have if I hadnât felt this need to get closer. I believed I was just a bad girlfriend but excused it away by saying that I just wanted to have friends. But it was this desire that consumed me. I wished to be asleep so I could see you in my dreams. The moments we werenât talking, my hands itched for my phone just to text you. And I thought, maybe this is why Jacob is always mad at me. No matter what he did or how much I thought I loved him, you somehow found your way back into my head. Do you have any idea how bad that made me feel? I had everything I ever wanted and somehow it was not enough. Not when you were around.
âAnd somehow Jacob knew that he wasnât enough for me anymore. Not since I saw you,â she continued, her eyes brimming with stinging tears. âThe more I thought of you, the more he held onto me. He asked me for one thing, and I couldnât even give him that. So, by the time he exploded over Embry, I couldnât help but think it had been because I couldnât do the only thing he had asked. It made me think I deserved all his mistreatment. Because my heart I believed belonged to him, but my mind thought of only you.
âAt the end of the day, I guess both of you were right,â she chuckled sadly, wiping away the streams that warmed her cheeks. âHe only got close to me because of Bella, and you only cared about me because of the imprint link. I bet that makes you happy.â
Paul couldnât stand the fact that she thought that way, it pained him far more than the distance that had built between them because of his decisions. He knew heâd never been one to make the best choices but keeping the truth from (Y/N) had been the worst one yet. âNone of this makes me happy, (Y/N),â he responded softly. All his anger had swiftly dissipated as he saw the pain in the girlâs tears. âWhen I said that, I had never meant for it to be true. It was merely a thought that I had not been able to keep inside. I had been speaking with anger and spite that day, hurt by the kiss you had shared with Jacob after he had broken things off with you. It was petty and childish, and I wish I could take it all back.
âAbout the packâs secret, well, you have to know I thought I was doing the right thing,â he explained, taking tentative steps toward her. âThis world is not one I wanted you in the middle of. I thought that the less I told you about wolves and vampires, the less danger would follow you. But I forgot who your sister was and how, even without knowing about the supernatural, she attracts danger. The second you stepped foot in Forks you were thrown into the center of this world, long before we ever locked eyes. But I⊠in trying to avoid what had been done to your sister, I ended up doing the same to you, and Iâm sorry, (Y/N). More than you could ever know.â
âAnd about the imprinting?â
âThat, well, I, uh,â he found himself stammering as he finally brought himself to sit at the end of the bed, clasping his hands tightly on his lap. âI guess I didnât want you to think that the only reason I wanted to get close to you was because of it. But, again, I gravely miscalculated what other people would do.â
âHow can it not be that, Paul?â (Y/N) asked, her eyes already reddened from the tears, but the pain in her body disappeared as the minutes passed. âIf it hadnât been for the bond, you wouldnât have even looked my way.â
âIs that really what you think? That I would have never been interested in you if it hadnât been for a mystical tether?â
âCome on, Paul,â she sniffled. âWeâre basically from different worlds. If we went to the same high school, you would have walked right past me in the halls.â
âThatâs notâŠâ
âLook at you, Paul, and look at me,â (Y/N) exclaimed, her voice breaking as it rose in volume. âI know you were quite popular in school before the whole werewolf thing. You went through your fair share of girls, and you didnât quite care about what anyone thought of you. Me? Sure, I had some friends and even had a boyfriend, but Iâve always been the person that has been overlooked. The one people want around when thereâs a project to be done or something artistic to be made. No one missed me when I left. Iâm pretty sure you wouldnât have wasted a single glance toward me.â
Paul wanted to laugh then. Shake her until she knew how wrong she was. Instead, he spoke. âYou donât remember, do you?â At her dumbfounded stare, he continued. âWhen we first went out, I told you that wasnât the first time we had met. Do you remember that?â
âI, uh, I donât. Not really.â
âWell, I did sort of just mumble it out,â he chuckled. âI came here to La Push when I was only eight. My parents had just gotten divorced, and I had so much anger and confusion inside of me. Pair that with a sudden move four hours away from everything I knew, I was sure it would be the worst summer of my life. One day, I had been walking down my street because my dad had forced me out of the houseâsaid I had spent enough time holed up in my room and I needed to make friends. I never planned to meet anyone but if I stayed in the house, I would most likely just end up fighting with him.
âOne second I was walking, kicking a rock down the road, and the next I was on my ass because someone had run straight into me,â he said. âI was ready to yell at whatever idiot kid had decided to ram into me, until I heard her laugh. A girl had been the one to hit me and she had landed on the floor as well and, instead of getting angry, she burst out into a beautiful song of laughter that made all the bubbling anger die.
âShe got up from the ground and offered me her hand,â he smiled. âShe said, âSorry, I wasnât looking. Iâm supposed to be playing hide and seek.â Her pants were covered in red dust from the ground and her hair had been disheveled, but she didnât care. âMy nameâs (Y/N).â You were the first person I ever met, and you didnât even live here. You said I could join you and your friends if I helped you find a good hiding spot. Then we could talk about being friends.â
The memory sprouted clearly in (Y/N)âs mind. It had been a hot summer midday and the Black kids and her didnât want to stay stuck in Billyâs house. Bella didnât want to play and stayed back with a book while Rachel, Rebecca, Jake, and her ran through the reservationâthe older girls had mostly agreed to keep an eye out for the younger kids. They had enlisted the company of Seth, Embry, and Quil. It was summer, and all they cared about was having fun.
It was Jakeâs turn to seek, and heâd always had a knack for finding everyone quickly. So, (Y/N) had set off to find the best hiding spot she could think of. The second Jacob had started counting she had sprinted off in the opposite direction, hoping he didnât sneak a glance.
Thatâs when she had run straight into a boy she did not recognize. Her butt had hurt from the impact, but she couldnât help but let out laugh after laugh. She had worn light colored pants that had turned red from the dust on the ground and her shirt had ripped where it went past her hips. She had always been told that the Swans tended to be clumsy but seeing it in action always made her laugh.
The boy had seemed angry at first, but by the time she had reached her hand toward him, his scowl had turned into a soft smile, and then he had laughed with her too. He had told her his name was Paul after she had given hers and that he had just moved to the reservation with his father.
âYou said I could hide in your neighborâs shed because they were out for the summer,â she recalled. âWe stayed there for thirty minutes until I knew I had won that round. And IâŠâ
âYou gave me a bracelet you had made with your mom before you had come to Forks,â he continued. âI carried it with me until it got too short to wear around my wrist, so I tied it to my house keys. I still have it. And IâŠâ
âYou gave me a braided leather bracelet that you had brought from Tacoma,â she interrupted. âI keep it hanging on my bed because I didnât want it to break.â
âEvery single year I waited for you to come back, and you would,â Paul said. âBut you always spent your time with Jake, and I couldnât stand him, so I kept watching from afar, hoping youâd notice I was there. Until one year, you didnât come at all, and I thought I had lost my chance to ever talk to you again. I never forgot about the girl I had met that day, the one that had made me laugh at a moment when everything seemed so bleak. I hadnât forgotten, but I couldnât quite remember.
âHer face wouldnât be the same and the image I had of her had begun to blur around the edges,â he admitted. âUntil that day on the beach when everything rushed back. Not only had I met the person the universe had thought was my greatest match, but it just so happened to be that same girl that had laughed after she had crashed to the ground from running into me. The very girl I had waited for every summer since I had come to La Push. I donât think we met that day out of pure chance, (Y/N). Sooner or later, we were always meant to meet.â
Every thought and emotion ran through (Y/N)âs head. There was so much uncertainty, but it mixed with hope, and it confused her all that much. âBut how can you be sure that what you feel is not just the bond?â she asked meekly. âHow do you know itâs real?â
âBecause Iâve felt this way since I was eight,â he confessed with a smile. âI didnât know it back then. But ever since, Iâve never met anyone that makes me laugh or smile like you did that day. I didnât need the universe to tell me what I felt that day, and I donât need it to tell me what I feel now. It canât tell you what to feel either, (Y/N). Not if you didnât feel it at some point.â
âBut what ifâŠ?â
â(Y/N), you donât have to have all the answers right now,â he said as he took her hands in his in an effort to calm her mind. âBut you do have the ones you were waiting for. Just take it one step at a time.â
âDoesnât the bond meanâŠ?â
âThe imprint bond canât force you to have feeling, (Y/N). It can only expand what you feel. Thatâs why imprintees donât just become an imprintâs partner. Because they donât always want us to be.â
âWhat would happen if an imprint rejected their wolf?â she inquired. âIf distance alone can hurt that much, what would rejection do?â
âWell, it might just be the worst pain we could go through. It would be agony like no other. Do you notâŠ? This might be too much, too fast.â
âNo, I was just⊠Iâm not,â she stammered absentmindedly. âI donât want to reject you, Paul. Iâm not even planning to. I just donât know what Iâm supposed to feel right now. Iâve just been told so many different things that I think my mind is just reeling.â
âThereâs no right or wrong feeling right now,â Paul smiled softly. âItâs a lot of information to take in.â
âI think I just⊠I donât know. Maybe I need to talk to someone else. Someone that has gone through all this.â
âYes, of course,â he exclaimed. âTalk to Emily. If thereâs anyone that can tell you about the imprint bond, itâs her.â
âSo, werewolves, vampires, soulmates, any other lore Iâm missing out on?â
âThat might be it for now,â the boy shrugged with a chuckle. âBut there might be things out there even I donât know about.â
After sharing a laugh, the pair left to the kitchen to finally eat some breakfast, fueling their bodies after such a long night. Paul had helped (Y/N) to the table, rushing through the kitchen to serve the plates. He balanced the tower of food that was his dish in one hand and (Y/N)âs request in the other. His steps were slow and calculated until he made it to where she was sitting, placing the muffin basket in the center of the table after the plates were on it.
They ate quietly, (Y/N) pushing around her food before taking a bit, and Paul downing it in the blink of an eye. It would have been a far funnier sight if the girlâs head wasnât still riddled with thoughts.
âIâm sorry for being angry for so long,â she finally broke the silence. âI just kept hearing things from other people and forgot to actually listen to you. A lot of the things that have happened could have been avoided if I just listened.â
âYou have nothing to be sorry about,â he quickly added. âI was the one that kept all of this from you and let Jake tell you whatever he wanted. I had so many moments where I could have been honest with you but decided to keep it hidden. Iâm the one thatâs sorry, (Y/N). Iâm the one who could have avoided all this if I just had the courage to speak.â
âLetâs just agree that we both could have said something at some point,â she smiled. âBut I will say, if my back does end up with scars, Iâm gonna have a very interesting story to tell.â
âI only know of two humans that have gone through a vampire attack and survived,â Paul laughed. âAnd they just so happen to be sisters.â
âI donât think I ever thanked you for that,â she said. âIâm glad you found me, Paul.â
âAs long as Iâm around, nothing is gonna happen to you,â he promised as he took her hand in his. âNot anymore.â
âI donât doubt that,â she beamed. âI also have to thank Embry and Sam for chasing the vampire away. Emily told me they got home late because of that.â
âYou can do that right now,â he smiled. âThey just got home.â
As he said that, Jared walked through the door, a look of concern sprawled on his face. It was the same stare Sam and Embry wore as they walked behind him. âWe gotta talk to you, Paul,â the first boy said. âItâs, uh, itâs serious.â
âWhat happened?â
âItâs something to do with Jake,â he grimaced before continuing, âand (Y/N). About last night.â
âDid the vampire come back?â (Y/N) worried, squeezing Paulâs hand tightly as her heart raced. âDid she attack him?â
âOh no,â Embry said angrily. âBut Paul just might.â
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Heartbeat | Chapter 18
Word Count:Â 3.3K
Warnings:Â foul language, mature themes
Story Description:Â (Y/N) Marks had no free time. From studying for med school, working her rounds for clinical, and the occasional babysitting her sisters sprung on her, she was all booked up. But none of that stopped her from aiding her sister and their best friends to rob a grocery store. She could have never guessed those couple of minutes would be enough to change her life forever or that it would lead to her meeting the man that would catalyze that shift.
A/N:Â I love this story so much, y'all have no idea. But especially the AO3 version đ«Łđ«Ł
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Hours later, and with a lighter heart, (Y/N) was back at home. She rehearsed in her head how she would bridge the topic of Bethâs employment to her and, even more, how sheâd tell her that the FBI agent had also wanted to speak to her. It was obvious that her sister would have to come clean, but just how far did the girlâs own truth have to extend?
âThanks for the ride,â she smiled as the car rolled to a spot. âIâll let you know how everything goes.â
âJust let me know what you gonâ say, aâight?â Rio said, reaching over the center console to cradle her chin. âEverythingâs gonna be fine. I got you.â
âI know,â she smiled. âIâll call you.â
âAâight.â He pulled her face close to his and kissed her tenderly, holding onto her as if she belonged to him. âNight, (Y/N).â
âGood night, Chris,â she grinned. âGet home safe.â
She waited at the doorstep until his car had disappeared from the street, wondering just how her life had changed so much. Obviously, she knew when and why it had happened, but not why she remained. Two months before, she would have laughed in anyoneâs face if they told her sheâd be practicing clandestine medicine for gang members and their families while in a quasi-relationship with a gang boss willingly. It wasnât the sort of thing she did. (Y/N) was careful, calculated, and a walking ball of anxiety. Everything she was doing negated that, but somehow, she couldnât stop.
The house was quiet as she walked inside. Given the hour, she knew the kids would be dead asleep, but she hoped Beth at least was still awake. She always kept late hours, and now, knowing what she did, (Y/N) knew sheâd most likely be wide awake.
Beth was at the kitchen island nursing a glass of whiskey when she noticed (Y/N) walking in, quickly slipping on her mask. â(Y/N),â she smiled. âWhatâre you doing here? Itâs so late.â
âIâve gotta talk to you.â
âWhat is it, (Y/N)? Is everything okay?â
âAn FBI agent came by the hospital today to ask me some questions,â she said. Beth stiffened at the statement, avoiding her sisterâs eyes at all costs. âHe was asking about suspicious activities in the neighborhood and mentioned something about some pictures. He also said he talked to you and Dean. Do you know anything about that?â
âWhat exactly did he say, (Y/N)?â
âWe didnât get a chance to finish talking. A nurse told me Sarah had been admitted, and he gave me his card. Told me to go by his office soon,â she added. âI know thereâs something going on with you and gang friend, Beth. Iâm not an idiot.â
âWhy would you think that?â Beth laughed awkwardly.
âBecause why else would a federal agent be asking about suspicious activity in this area and come to you specifically to question?â (Y/N) retorted. âI need you to tell me everything that is going on and what I have to say when I go there.â
âOkay,â the woman finally relented. She rounded the island and sat down on a stool with a sigh, patting the one next to her for (Y/N) to sit on. âAfter Canada, I reached out to Rioâthatâs his nameâand asked him for work. The first task wasnât exactly what we had in mind. He had us take care of someone that had been shot.â
âThe phone call,â the girl recalled.
âRight, the phone call,â Beth grimaced. âThat didnât exactly work out, and I thought weâd be done for. Thatâs why he came here on Kennyâs birthday. He came to pick his âboyâ up, but the guy had disappeared. But as of a few weeks ago, I called him up because I came up with a way to clean his money. Ruby, Annie, and I have been cleaning around 100 thousand dollars and getting a cut of the money. Itâs not as much as we expected, but it was keeping us afloat⊠for some time. So, I asked for an increase. We have to wash 500k this time.â
âSo, not only did you lie to me when I asked why heâd come to the house, but youâre washing half a million dollars for him. I should honestly be more in shock here,â (Y/N) stated. âWhy didnât you tell me? Why didnât any of you tell me about this?â
âThatâs all on me, honestly,â Beth sighed. âAnnie and Ruby told me you should at least know what was going on, but I wanted you to concentrate on school and not a life of crime. I didnât think youâd be stuck in the crossfire like this.â
âBeth, you need to understand that Iâm no longer a kid. I donât need you to protect me anymore. Keeping me in the dark makes things worse for me. How do you think it feels to have an FBI agent show up at my work and he starts questioning me about things going on in the street?âÂ
âAbout as terrifying as it feels to have him come to my home twice and question me in front of my family,â she chuckled dryly. âBut I am sorry we didnât tell you about it, (Y/N) . I just didnât want you to be in the middle of things. I wanted to make sure that if things ever got bad, you werenât involved in it.â
âBut I am in the middle of things, Beth. Iâm your family. I literally live in your backyard,â she exclaimed. âEverything you do affects me. Whether directly or indirectly. Just like Annie and Ruby. You guys are the only family I have. I canât protect you from things that I donât know, and Iâm old enough to be able to protect you guys. Or at least help in some way.â
âYou are absolutely not helping us wash money,â Beth said sternly.
âI donât know where Iâd even find the time,â she chuckled. âBut itâs still good to know just in case things like federal agents start showing up. Dean and the kids donât have to know shit, but I do.â
âIâm sorry, (Y/N). I honestly just wanted to protect you from all of this. I didnât think theyâd seek you out, too.â
âHave you talked to the agent about Rio already?â
âI came home like an hour ago from doing that,â she sighed. âHe had a picture of Rio getting into his car, and it looked like he was coming from the house. I told Agent Turner that Iâd had an affair. That I met Rio at a bar-restaurant called Luckyâs. I said it had been a one-night stand and that I never planned on seeing him again.â
âDid he buy it?â
âIt seemed like he did,â she shrugged. âHe told me to be careful who I brought into my home. What I donât understand is why he would ask you about it.â
âWell, if the picture is from the day of Kennyâs party, I did go out to talk to him,â (Y/N) said. âWhat if the same person that took the photo of Rio took a photo of me and him together? What am I supposed to say then? That he has a type?â
âThat could work,â Beth mused. âYou can stick to the same story somewhat. Youâre young. Theyâll think you were naĂŻve.â
âRight, I can sayâŠ
âI met him at a bar. Luckyâs, I think it was called. Iâd had a long day at the hospital and needed to unwind,â (Y/N) said, clasping her hands on her lap. âHe bought me a drink, and we talked a little, nothing important. After a few drinks, I went to the bathroom, and he followed. We made out on a sink, and he screwed me against the wall. I gave him my number, and he said heâd call, but I never heard from him or saw him again. Until that day when he was leaving Bethâs house, and I confronted him about it. I told him to lose my number and to never show his face there again. I donât even remember the name he gave me, but I can tell he has a type.â
Jimmy Turner listened to every word (Y/N) said. She played the part of an oblivious girl very well. âSo, you didnât know who he was or what he did beforehand?â he asked. âAnd nothing about him put you off?â
âNot exactly,â she shrugged softly. âI wasnât exactly going there to find the love of my life, you know? I just wanted a few drinks, and he just so happened to want an easy hook-up. We each got what we wanted, I guess.â
âAnd he didnât give you his phone number back. You didnât find that odd?â
âWell, he said heâd call. I had no doubts at that moment that he would, and it wasnât like I was particularly interested in seeing him again,â (Y/N) explained. âHonestly, I was more hurt that he didnât call because maybe it meant I wasnât that good of a lay. Just stupid insecurities. Then I see him as Iâm walking out to the main house, and thereâs no way it can be him. He didnât even apologize or anything. So, I told him to go.â
âDo you know who this man is?â Turner asked as he pushed the picture across the desk. âThis is an inner-city gang banger, with quite a high position in his gang.â
âItâs not like he told me what he did for work. And I didnât really ask,â she said. âAgent Turner, I didnât know who he was, nor did I ask, because, frankly, I didnât really care. He just happened to be there.â
âIâm just telling you because youâre young, and you should be careful about the people you keep in your company,â he said, and it sounded like he meant it. Like he truly cared. âHe is not the kind of person that you should ever get involved with. One wrong move and your entire life could be derailed.â
âI understand,â she smiled softly, appearing like she regretted every decision she had made up to that point. âI donât plan on doing something like that ever again. And I wish I could be of more help. If he ever shows up again, Iâll be sure to give you a call.â
âJust be careful, Ms. Marks,â he said with a kind smileâa real one for the first time. âThis is not the kind of person a young lady like you should associate with.â
âI will,â (Y/N) responded as she stood from the chair. âThank you, Agent Turner.â
âTake care, Ms. Marks.â
âYou too.â
The second she was out of the building, (Y/N) finally felt like she could breathe. She walked briskly to her car and took steadying breaths once she was inside and out of view. The meeting had gone quickly and better than she had expected. Was it weird that Rio had slept with two sisters at completely different times? A bit, but it wasnât impossible. Meeting at the same bar and having two completely different endings... it could happen. It explained how she knew him when he left Bethâs house, and it explained her anger. And, at the end of the day, she was just a dumb young woman whoâd had a one-night stand at a bar bathroom after a few drinks. There was no way she could know anything about him. And she hoped her act was enough to derail the agent from her tracks.
As she drove to work, she pulled the burner phone from her bag and dialed Rioâs number, anxious to tell him what she thought. Sheâd had no real involvement that could tie her to him. Not any that the police could find. But she did worry about Beth, Annie, and Ruby, and how the money laundering could affect them. Yet, after speaking to her older sister, it seemed they had it in control, and the moment they didnât, Beth had promised sheâd speak out. For the first time in a long time, (Y/N) felt at ease and in control. And as long as things remained that way, everything would be okay.
âYou good?â she heard him ask through the receiver. âHowâd it go?â
âIâm good, and I think it went well,â she smiled. âAnd you should know, youâre quite the player, Mr. Christopher. Apparently, you bagged two sisters because you have a type.â
âDamn, maâ, you didnât have to do me like that.â
âWell, at least youâre the dumb young lady who had a one-night stand with a dangerous inner-city gang banger,â she chuckled. âI think you came out like a winner in our stories.â
âIâm that good, huh?â he laughed. âSo, he ainât worried âbout you?â
âI donât think he is,â she said. âHe was more concerned about me staying away from people like you.â
âAnd are you gonna listen to the nice agent? âCause it sounds like heâs looking out for you.â
âWhen have I ever done as told?â (Y/N) smirked. âBut is everything okay on your end? No suspicious people or anything?â
âYou ainât gotta worry âbout me, (Y/N). Iâve been doing this for long enough.â
âI canât not worry. Thatâs not in my DNA. I just wanna make sure everyone I care about is okay.â
âHm, so you care âbout me?â
âOh, donât let it get to your head,â she scoffed jokingly. âI care about a lot of people.â
âYeah, and Iâm one of them.â
âYou suck.â
âNot as well as you,â he continued to tease. âMatter of fact, you could be doing some of that right now.â
âYouâre gross, and I have to go to the hospital,â (Y/N) said. âBut if youâre nice to me, I could be persuaded to see you tonight.â
âYeah, give me one good reason I should.â
âIâll give you half a million reasons.â
After a moment of silence, she heard him suck his teeth before saying, âShe told you.â
âYeah. Told me everything that happened between you,â (Y/N) sighed. âThough she probably left out a few threats here and there. What Iâm wondering is why you didnât.â
âI told you most of it.â
âHonesty, Chris. Thatâs all Iâm asking for,â she said. âLook, Iâm not gonna ask about their work with you anymore. I just wanted to know details so that in cases like this, when an FBI agent shows up to question me, I know where I have to lie and what truths to bend. Iâm not a little girl that needs to be protected from this big bad world.â
âIs it that bad that people wanna keep you safe?â
âKeeping me in the dark is not the same as keeping me safe. I need to know whatâs out there before Iâm in the center of it,â (Y/N) added. âAs long as my sisters are okay, and youâre okay, Iâm fine. Just please, if thereâs anything I need to know, just tell me.â
âYouâre up to date now,â he said. âBut, like I said, honestyâs new for me. Itâll take time.â
âI know,â she smiled. âBut youâre trying.â
âYeah, you trynna make me soft.â
âNah, youâre doing that all on your own,â she laughed. âI gotta go. Just got to the hospital.â
âBut you coming over tonight?â
âIâll let you know.â
â(Y/N).â
âGoodbye, Chris.â
She slipped the phone into her bag as she exited her car, a goofy smile spread across her face. Just the night before, she had been fuming at the lies and the deception, but all that was dead and gone. (Y/N) knew that holding onto the anger would only work against her. It was a new world they were all stepping onto, and mistakes along the way were inevitable. She just hoped they didnât make the same ones over and over again.
âMind telling me why the FBI was looking for you yesterday?â Mikeâs voice startled her as she fit her things into her locker. âWhat the hell, (Y/N)?â
âIt was nothing,â she shrugged off. âHe just had some questions about some strange activity in Bethâs neighborhood.â
âNothing? I donât think the FBI follows up over nothing.â
âMikey, itâs fine. Itâs all been settled, okay?â (Y/N) chuckled. âNo oneâs in trouble. Everythingâs fine.â
â(Y/N), seriously. Whatâs going on? Youâve been weird these past couple of months,â he worried. âDoes this have something to do with the guy you were telling me about?â
âLook, Mike, I love you for worrying, but Iâm fine. Okay? Iâm great,â she smiled. âIâm having fun like you said I should. Thatâs it.â
âYou told me the guy was dangerous, (Y/N). Just how dangerous?â
âEverythingâs okay, Mike. Seriously. Nothing for you to worry about. Your kids still have their loving godmother.â
âHow can I not worry when there are literal federal agents looking for you, (Y/N)?â he said. âJust promise me if things get bad that youâll walk away. I need you okay, (Y/N). My kids need you okay.â
âI promise, Mikey,â she said as she hugged him tightly. âIâm not going anywhere.â
How could she tell him that every night she danced with the devil? That she was tempting fate with every phone call, every text, every patient she saw. She risked her life every second she wanted to remain by Rioâs side. But she couldnât tell him anything about that. Not if she didnât want him to worry.
âWell, we have about five minutes before rounds,â Michael smiled. âTell me about your stupid boy.â
âWhat do you want to know?â
âIs he the reason the FBI wanted to talk to you?â
âOh my god, no,â she chuckled, hoping her words were convincing enough. âWill you please drop it already? I told you it was about something that might have happened near Bethâs house. They even interviewed Beth and Dean. Just routine stuff.â
âFine,â he resigned. âThen, just tell me five things about him.â
âOkay, um, well, he has a kidâa son. Marcus. They like to play soccer at the park,â she said. âHeâs got tattoos. He likes to eat tacosâeven has a friend with an awesome food truck. Heâs very hot. And heâd older than me.â
âHow much older, (Y/N)?â her friend asked in surprise. âAnd youâve already met his kid?â
âI donât know. Like ten years,â she muttered.
âIâm sorry, I thought I heard you say ten years,â he chuckled dryly. âWhich would be crazy since heâs closer in age to both of your older sisters.â
âThatâs what I said.â
â(Y/N), ten? Your frontal lobe is just one year old,â Mike exclaimed. âAnd he has a kid. Youâre crazy.â
âItâs not that crazy,â she shrugged as she slipped on her white coat. âI mean, weâre both adults here. Itâs not like Iâm freshly eighteen or even twenty-one. Iâve got enough experience under my belt.â
âSo, you got yourself a DILF?â
âEw, donât say it like that, you weirdo.â
âI mean, in your words, heâs hot, and he has a kid,â he recalled. âErgo, DILF. And, itâs okay, game recognizes game.â
âMikey, you are definitely not a DILF.â
âNot to you,â he argued. âBut there are many people out there that would like to fuck this dad.â
âMichael, no man, woman, or non-binary person would hit it with you,â (Y/N) teased. âYouâre lucky that you somehow trapped Olivia into marrying you.â
âWell, at least she saw potential in me,â he scoffed. âAnd sheâd tell me that anyone would be lucky to tap this.â
They broke into laughter as Mike pointed at his body and did the worldâs least attractive body roll. It was in moments such as those that (Y/N) truly believed that all was right with the world. The FBI was off her back, her sisters were getting some sort of incomeâas illegal as it may have beenâSarah was getting better, and Michael seemed to be happier. Everything seemed to be falling into place.
But (Y/N) had forgotten that the waters always calmed before the storm finally struck. She would enjoy every moment of peace she would get without realizing the dark clouds that lingered up ahead.
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Bound | Chapter 5
Word Count:Â 2.3K
Warnings:Â queer harassment
Summary:Â Rosalie always carried the resentment of not being able to fulfill the image of the perfect family she had in her head. But the universe had set out to grant her everything she couldâve hoped for in the most unconventional way and in the form of a witch. Can their love withstand the promise of forever or will Rosalie and (Y/N) succumb to the grapples of time?
A/N:Â oh, oh, I'm falling in love with a pairing that will not work out... I know I'm the writer, but, damn. I am breaking my own heart here. đ« đ« also, two chapters in one day, wow
<- Previous
There would come a day when (Y/N) didnât have Beatrice Porter by her side. There would come a day when she wouldnât be able to roll over in her bed and find the onyx-black strands of her hair splayed over a pillow or kiss her eyelids as they fluttered in sleep. But in 1935, she didnât know that.Â
In 1935, she still believed they had forever. At least as long as forever could be in their human lives. And because she didnât know, she was able to live in the absolute bliss of being with her best friend.Â
As she brushed her hair out of the tight coil of the curlers she wore to bed, (Y/N) smiled at the sleeping figure of Bea on her bed. The sun had barely started to shine through the curtains, basking her pale body in the warm light of its rays. Her shoulders peeked through the white sheets, rising and falling with the evenness of her breaths. She was a vision of beauty that (Y/N) had been lucky enough to witness.Â
By the time the witch was putting on her earrings, Bea stirred from her slumber, a lazy smile tugging at her lips. âGood morning,â she croaked. âYou look beautiful.âÂ
âHm, I was going for smart,â (Y/N) chuckled. âIs it the necklace or the hair?âÂ
âItâs your face,â the girl smiled. âYou could play hooky, you know. Spend the day with me rather than at the university.âÂ
âA rather tempting offer,â she said as she walked toward the bed, crawling to Bea. âBut Iâm too close to graduating now. Iâve already had to argue with enough men who believe that higher education is no place for a woman.âÂ
âWell, in that case, give them hell,â Bea smirked. âI suppose I should do my own studying then. I do have a test this week and have gone to three classes at the most. I just donât see the point if Iâm going to stay here. Magic doesnât require human schooling.â
âBut the coven does need to change with the times. We need to strive for better. For bigger,â (Y/N) explained. âLiving in the woods is amazing, but it keeps us secluded. Alienated. We need to find ways to blend in with society. Hide in plain sight. Thatâs the key to survival.âÂ
âYouâve always had great plans for the coven. You will make a wonderful High Priestess one day.âÂ
âOne can only hope,â she sighed contentedly. âBut for now, I can do my part in gaining more knowledge of how the outside world works. Find a way witches and other supernaturals can live amongst humans undetected. There may not be as many, but you know there are still people out there that hunt our kind. I mean, just last week, we received word of a coven in Louisiana being burnt down by so-called Modern Witch Hunters. Weâve learned to hide, but clearly not well enough.âÂ
âCruelty will always be an incurable sickness in humans,â Bea grumbled. âPeople in high school taught us that early on.âÂ
The memory made (Y/N) grimace. They hadnât done anything wrong. Stood by their respective lockers, the two girls had simply been talking and decided to sneak a soft caress. (Y/N) had only brushed a stray ringlet of hair that had fallen over Beaâs eyes. But her fingers had lingered too long, and their stare was a little too intense. A pair of boys had been walking down the hallways at that precise moment and had decided that what the girls were doing was too queer for their liking.Â
Deeming (Y/N) as the instigator, they had snatched her and carried her to the nearest dumpster while calling her a slew of slurs and insults. All this while Bea cried and begged them to stop. It took everything in them both not to use their powers, knowing the punishment for using magic with humans was magic binding for an undetermined amount of time.Â
As the lid closed above her and the smell of trash engulfed her, (Y/N) promised never to show an ounce of affection to her friend outside of the protective confines of their coven. There, no one questioned or talked in whispers âalthough some eyes did follow them at times. But it was nothing like the treatment they endured outside. A couple of stares here and there was nothing like finding dead animals stuffed in your locker, or being unable to walk down the street without being accompanied by a big enough group, or having to stay as far away from your best friend as possible because you donât know who will attack you for what they believe.Â
âYou know, Annabeth is leaving in July,â Bea said, changing the topic as she saw how it upset (Y/N). âShe was accepted to the University of Tennessee. She says thereâs something about the state that calls to her, but I donât understand why she would go so far. There are enough good schools nearby.âÂ
âWell, sheâs setting her own path,â (Y/N) smiled, brushing a strand of hair behind Beaâs ear. âYour sister has always been quite the free spirit.â  Â
âThat she is,â she chuckled. âMomma is going with her to help her settle in and everything. She also wants to make sure sheâs comfortable with the coven over there.âÂ
âWould you go with her if she asked?âÂ
âAnd leave you up here all alone?â the girl scoffed. âWouldnât even think about it for a second.âÂ
âAll youâd need is a big enough body of water, and you could come here anytime.â
âAre you suggesting that I leave, (Y/N) Carmine? Do you not want me here?â
âOh please, donât even say that. But she is your sister, Bea,â (Y/N) laughed. âYou could at least pretend to ponder over the idea. Your family has always been so close-knit.â
âSheâd understand,â Bea shrugged with a mischievous smile. âIâve got something special here.âÂ
âYouâre bad,â she grinned before kissing the girlâs temple. âAnd Iâm going to be late.âÂ
âFine,â Bea conceded. âIâll let you go as long as you bring me some doughnuts.âÂ
âOf course. I wouldnât dare come home without them.âÂ
âGood,â she beamed. âThen, I guess you can go.âÂ
It was simplicities such as those that (Y/N) reveled in. She may not have been allowed to hold Beaâs hand in public or even say how much she loved her, but she had their home. Behind those four walls, they were able to simply exist. No labels to concern themselves with, no judgment, and certainly no harassment.Â
As the day trickled by and class after class passed, (Y/N) couldnât help but have her mind divided between her education and the girl waiting for her at home. Everything reminded her of Bea. The black fabric of the chairs she sat on was the same color as her hair, the blue of the sky matched perfectly with the iciness of her eyes, and the smell of the townâs bakery reminded her of the girlâs favorite treat.Â
There was nowhere she could turn that didnât remind her of Beatrice, and there was no one on Earth she could love more than her⊠at least, thatâs what she believed at that moment. By then, she had no idea her soul was bound to an immortal, nor that her life would go on after Bea passed one day. At that moment, she knew only of the fleetingness of life and the importance of living in the present. There was no way for her to know how fleeting those moments were when eternity came into play.Â
For now, she enjoyed every second she had in the life she believed was passing.
She was coming out of the bakery when she was met with Russell Morgan, a witch from their coven who had always been kind and concerned over her and Bea. She knew heâd always had his eye on Beatrice, leaving flowers and trinkets on their porch for her. Though he understood the relationship the girls shared, he couldnât help the affinity he held for the young witch. And none of it bothered (Y/N). Bea had made her choice, and it had been her.Â
âHello, Russ,â she smiled as he matched her pace, knowing he was escorting her home without mentioning it. âHow was your day today?âÂ
âCanât complain,â he chuckled. âJust making it through this last semester. Hoping I hear back from med school any day now. Thatâs been the most stressful thing.âÂ
âIâm sure youâll get in,â she said. âYouâre brilliant, Russ. Theyâd be lucky to have you. And you know New Forest witches seem to do well in medical school.âÂ
âWell, we do have a certain je ne sais quoi,â he laughed. âAnd, uh, howâs Bea been recently? I havenât seen her as much in lessons.âÂ
âYou know her. Most days, she doesnât even want to get out of bed,â she smiled. âBut Iâve already made a deal with her. For every day that she attends lessons, Iâll bring her a new pastry from the bakery.âÂ
âThat will definitely get her there,â Russell chuckled. âAnd Margaret wonât be angry at her.âÂ
âOh, Margaretâs a big softie at heart.âÂ
âShe really is. And uh, are you two stillâŠâÂ
(Y/N) knew he wouldnât get the words out. He never did. âYes. Bea and I are still,â she chuckled softly. âDonât think thatâs changing any time soon.â
âWell, not that Iâm not happy for you two, but a man can only hope,â he said as his cheeks grew red in slight embarrassment. She knew he meant nothing by it and also understood the pull Bea held. âI do hope for you years of happiness. Even if the world hasnât caught up to different kinds of love.â
âI know, Russ. And I am grateful for your wishes and your friendship. I know one day youâll meet a woman as wonderful as you.âÂ
âI sure hope so. Mom is on me about giving her grandkids already. Apparently, the two kids my sister has already given her are not enough.âÂ
âNo amount will ever be enough,â she laughed. âBut she might be closer than you think, Russ.âÂ
And neither of them had any idea how true the statement was.Â
Back at the house, the smell of fresh bread and beef stew filled the air. The scent alone made (Y/N)âs stomach grumble, knowing the flavor would be even better than the smell. The dinner table was already set, complete with a set of flickering candles.Â
âWhatâs the occasion?â (Y/N) smiled as she kissed Beaâs cheek. âEverything looks so beautiful.âÂ
âDo we need an occasion to have a candle-lit dinner?â Bea said. âI just felt like it. Especially since you brought me some of my favorite doughnuts.âÂ
âMaybe I should bring you doughnuts every day.âÂ
âI wouldnât be opposed to that,â she grinned. âAnd if theyâre sugar doughnuts, even better.âÂ
âDo you really think Iâd bring you any others?âÂ
âBetter not,â she laughed. âBut I just wanted to do something nice for you. Because I love you, and you deserve it.âÂ
âYouâre the best, Bea,â (Y/N) beamed. âI love you more than the moon loves the sun.âÂ
With a flick of her hand, music filled the kitchen, and their bodies swayed to the rhythm that played through the radio. They swirled through the room, forgetting the stew that bubbled on the stove and the candles that were melting on the table. But they didnât care. All they cared about was the fact that they were happy, they were healthy, and they were together. They filled a house with love and joy, and that seemed enough.Â
âDo you think there will ever be a way we could have kids?â Bea asked absentmindedly. âI know it couldnât really happen naturally. But maybe adopting.â
âI donât think that could happen, Bea,â (Y/N) sighed. âAt least not us together or even as single women living together. The world isnât ready for that, darling.âÂ
âOh, what a tragedy,â she sighed. âYou would be a great mother.âÂ
âAs would you, Beatrice,â the witch smiled sadly. âIs that something you really want? Children, I mean.âÂ
âWell, it had always been my dream to have a big family. Little ones running around, a home, someone to grow old with,â she admitted. âI just thought it was the normal way life would move toward.âÂ
âBut I canât give you all of that, Bea,â (Y/N) sniffled. She stopped their swaying and rested her forehead against Beaâs, a thin stream of tears falling down her eyes. âI canât give you everything youâve dreamed of.â
âWell, darling, I donât want any of that if itâs not with you,â she assured. âI am perfectly content with just having you for the rest of my life.âÂ
âI want you to have everything youâve ever dreamed of, Beatrice. I donât want you to settle just for love. What if, one day, you wake up and realize that love isnât enough for you? That kids and marriage is what you wanted all along.âÂ
Bea smiled warmly then, cradling (Y/N)âs face and wiping away the tears that stained her cheeks. âAnd what makes you think that your love is not enough?â she cooed. âI would wait a thousand years if it meant I got to live my life with you. Children are never a sure thing. Even if I married a man, there is no certainty that I could fall pregnant. But, with you, I know there is love. That is certain, and that is what I need.â
She sealed her words with a chaste kiss to (Y/N)âs lips, slipping through her mouth all the love she felt for her best friend. It was a promise of a future together, a promise of forever. But how could they have known that forever would not have been long enough? That the end of their forever was just around the corner.Â
âNow, why donât we sit and eat already?â Beatrice smiled.âIâm starving.âÂ
âAlright then,â (Y/N) said. âLetâs eat, and cheers to forever then.âÂ
âCheers to forever.â
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Running in Circles | Chapter 10
Word Count:Â 2.7K
Warnings: mentions of death, religious trauma
Summary:Â (Y/N) Rossi is following in her fatherâs footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss, and her fatherâs friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?
A/N:Â a few days behind is better than a whole year đ«Ł anywho very sentimental chapter ahead
<- Previous
Winter had come at full force that December, and maybe that was the first sign of all that was to come. But for (Y/N), it only signified the anniversary of her motherâs death.
Just like she had done every year before, she had taken that day off, knowing her mind would be elsewhere, and her body would want to be there. Even if it fell on a weekend, she had to be sure that no calls would disturb the day. The monsters could wait one more day.
She looked herself over in the mirror. The turtleneck she had chosen felt particularly choking, her pants hung too low for comfort, and her motherâs necklace stood out too brightly against the dark clothing. Nothing was right. Nothing would ever be right. She pushed her hair behind her shoulders and sighed. That was as good as it would ever get.
She slipped her coat on before she left her house, and she wondered what her mother would have thought of her home. Would she have wanted her closer to the family home? Would she have liked the décor? Would she have poked fun at how messy the house could sometimes get, or would she not have cared at all? Those were answers she would never get. At least not from the one person that mattered the most.
Her fatherâs car was waiting outside for her, his face wearing a similar solemn look to the one she had. It was the same routine every year. Heâd come to pick her up, theyâd go to the cemetery, and when David would tell stories of Iris, she would listen. Because she had none to share of her own. She had no memories, no stories, nothing to know of her mother that was her own.
âHey, dad,â she said as she jumped into the SUV. âItâs a cold one today.â
âIt really is,â he chuckled softly âI brought you some coffee and a butter croissant. Something tells me you didnât eat breakfast today.â
âYou know me too well, dad,â she snickered, taking the warm cup between her hands to heat her freezing hands. âDid you eat already?â
âHad myself a bowl of oatmeal with berries and bananas like your mom used to like,â he replied. âWashed it all down with some coffee and came here.â
âThatâs good,â she croaked, forcing a smile. âWere you able to get the flowers? My local shop was closed when I went by yesterday.â
âYeah. Iâve got the bouquet back there,â he smiled. âPeonies, irises, roses, lilies, and babyâs breath. All the ones she liked.â
Every time her father said things like that, her heart broke just a little more. He didnât know it. She would never say it. But the fact that he had lived a life with her mother when she didnât even know what she sounded like hurt. It pained her to miss a person she never had a chance to remember.
âDo you know it was your mom that would call you little bird?â
âDid she?â
âShe said you were always jumping around and fleeting from flower to flower when you were outside, just like a hummingbird would. Thatâs why she got that necklace made for you,â David chuckled at the memory. âEven when you were just a little baby, you always seemed to calm when you were with her in the garden.â
âWell, her garden has to be the best one in all of Virginia. Even to this day.â
âYou have Emile to thank for that,â he laughed. âIf it had been up to me, it would have died so many years ago.â
âAnd I guess I inherited your lack of a green thumb.â
âThat you did, little birdie,â he said. âBut you did inherit her good taste. For your third birthday, the last one with your mother âmay God have her in his gloryâyou insisted on having a garden fairy party. Iris asked you what flowers you wanted everywhere, and you said peonies. Well, at the time, you called them peenies.â
âI⊠I donât remember that,â she stammered. âI wish I did.â
âThatâs okay, little bird. We have the pictures, and Iâm sure thereâs a VHS somewhere with the video. Just have to check in storage, which might take a bit more than it should.â
âIt wouldnât if you let me organize it, dad. Iâve told you many times that you need to set up a system so things donât get lost in all the junk you still have from the olden days.â
âHey! You learned a lot from those olden days,â he pouted. âThose olden days paid for everything we have.â
âDoesnât mean itâs not disorganized.â
By the time they had reached the cemetery, they were a mix of laughter and sadness, coupled with the most beautiful bouquet theyâd brought to date. There was a thin blanket of snow covering the ground, a cold breeze whistling through the air. It was a horrible day to be out, but they wouldnât miss it for the world.
(Y/N) was expecting the bad weather. And although her coat did nothing to warm her against the wind, she hugged it closer to her body. What she was not expecting was to find Hotchner and Jack waiting on a bench right in front of her motherâs grave.
âAaron,â David called out with a smile that alerted the father and son to their presence. âDidnât expect to see you here.â
Once they were near enough, Jack took off on a soft run toward the woman. â(Y/N)!â he called as he reached to hug her. âYou said we could come, remember?â
âOf course I do, buddy,â she smiled softly. âIâm happy to see you.â
âThis is your mom, right?â The boy led her to her motherâs tombstone by the hand. âIris Jensen.â
âThatâs right,â she said. (Y/N) knelt down and ran her hand across the picture of her mother, tears already building in her eyes. âThis is my mom.â
âSheâs very pretty.â
âShe is, isnât she?â (Y/N) chuckled as her body betrayed her. Tears fell down her eyes before she could stop them, warming her skin before turning freezing under the weather. Jack quickly reached into his jacket, pulled out a blue handkerchief, and handed it to her. âThanks, kid.â
âJack, why donât you join me on the bench, and I can tell you about her?â David said. âIâve got some great stories.â
âIs that okay, (Y/N)?â
âOf course, Jack,â she smiled. âGo ahead.â
As the kid ran to her father, Hotchner wrapped his arms around her. Normally, she would have grown flustered at the interaction, but at that moment, she needed the comfort. âYou okay?â he asked quietly. âThis must be so hard.â
âI donât know why Iâm like this,â she muttered. âItâs been years already. I barely even knew her.â
âShe was still your mom, (Y/N). Itâs only natural that you feel this way.â
âI donât even remember what she sounds like,â the woman sniffled. âI donât even know what kind of mom she would have been growing up.â
âI⊠Iâm sorry, (Y/N). I donât know what to say.â
âItâs okay,â she smiled softly as she let him go. She got on her knees and started cleaning the tombstone, removing all specs of snow regardless of how futile it may have been. âThereâs not much to say.â
âAll I know is that I wish I had met her.â
âYeah,â she chuckled. âMe too.â
Aaron left her by herself then, allowing her the space to tell her mother about the year that had passed. She told her about her cases, told her about her friends, and even told her about her ever-growing feelings for an unmentionable person. But, most of all, she told her about how much she missed her.
But it didnât go over her head how she missed someone that much without really knowing who they were. She carried inside an emptiness that wasnât easily filled, and as hard as her father tried, never would be. And David tried, in his own way. He had his own grief to carry, and she knew that. She knew he hurt and wished Iris was still with them. But heâd found solace in the time he had shared with her while (Y/N) yearned for even just a second more with her mom.
âI wish you were here, mom,â she cried as she stood. âI see videos of you, and I canât tell if thatâs what you really sounded like or if your voice is too distorted by the camera. I wish youâd had more time, mom.â
âYou and me both, little birdie,â her father said as he joined her. âBut sheâs in Godâs glory now.â
(Y/N)âs blood boiled at that moment. She had never been religious, much to her fatherâs dismay. More than just the deity not fitting into her scientific mind, she couldnât believe in a god like her father did. Normally, she didnât mind his religious interjections. They were a part of who he was, and she didnât want to belittle his beliefs. But that day, something inside her couldnât stand it. Much less when he started to mutter a prayer.
âIâve asked you to please not pray aloud when weâre here, dad. Do you mind?â
âHoneyâŠâ
âNo, dad. I really donât want to listen to you talk about your god or ask to have mom in his infinite mercy. I donât wanna hear about it!â Her tone came out harsher than she intended, but she couldnât contain herself. Years and years of bottling up her feelings had her at her limit, and it was that moment that they had chosen to spill over. âJust, keep it in your head.â
âI donât understand, (Y/N). You never minded before,â David muttered. âThere was a time you used to believe in God. You even used to ask me to pray with you.â
âJesus, dad, I did that for you.â As she exclaimed Hotch told Jack to wait for him in the car, that (Y/N) needed a moment to herself. Hesitantly, the boy followed his fatherâs instructions and walked the short trail to the van. All he could understand was that (Y/N) was upset. Once Jack was gone, she continued. âHow could I ever believe in a god that took my mother away before I could even remember what my name sounded in her voice? I only went along with it because it seemed to make you happy, but I canât anymore. I canât listen to another word of how your god is merciful and how it was all his plan. He took my mother from me. How could I believe in a god that would take a mother from a child? All the memories I have of her are from behind a screen or moments lived by other people. I donât remember anything about her thatâs mine only, dad. You always tell me how you would love to have a second chance with my mom, and I didnât even get one.â
(Y/N) crumbled to the ground once more and suddenly felt arms around her. Instantly, she knew who it was and found herself sinking into Hotchâs embrace. He tried his best to calm her, telling her that everything would be okay and that she wasnât alone. She was normally the strong one. She was always the one who kept it all inside and helped others. But too many years of that had her shattered on the ground of the cemetery.
It took a few minutes for her sobs to finally subside, Hotchâs soothing circles on her arms working overtime to calm her down. They had ended up sitting on the cold ground, the snow slowly making its way through their clothes, but neither seemed to care. All that mattered was the comfort and the presence. Nothing else.
âYou okay?â Hotch whispered as she finally seemed to calm. âFeeling better?â
âI donât even know,â she chuckled weakly. âYour pants are dirty now. Iâm sorry.â
âDonât worry, I have a washer,â he joked. âBut how are you feeling? I know this must be a very overwhelming situation.â
âI donât know what Iâm feeling, honestly,â she sighed, sinking into the warmth of Hotchner. âItâs the first time Iâve ever blown up like that toward my dad, and I donât know why I did. Itâs been over twenty years that weâve been coming here, and Iâve never acted like this.â
âI think itâs safe to assume youâve been bottling up all these feelings for all that time. They were bound to come out one day or another.âÂ
âDonât profile me, Hotch,â she pouted. âBut youâre right. I mean, he lost the woman he loved, and even though I lost my mom, I felt bad for him because heâs the one who had all the memories with her. I never wanted him to feel bad or guilty for the fact that I had to grow up without her. Still, every time he says something like her death was godâs plan or that he has her in her mercy, it just sets me off.â
âHave you ever thought that religion is the way that he copes with her death? Maybe thinking that she is in heaven or that it was her time is his way to come to terms with the fact that she is gone.â
âI guess a part of me does understand that. But thereâs a side that doesnât want to,â she sighed. âBut I guess I have to apologize for the tantrum.â
âYour feelings are valid, (Y/N). Itâs just the way you express them that could be hurtful to others. But your dadâs a big boy,â he chuckled softly. âHeâs at the car with Jack. You ready to go over there?âÂ
âAs ready as I can be.â
Hotchner got up first, waiting with his hand extended until she needed it. And with another glance at the tombstone, she took the hand and stood up as well. The man walked beside her the entire time, his presence alone was enough to keep her grounded. As much as she wanted to break down and fall apart, she needed to keep it together.
âAnd she could spend days in her studio just painting, forgetting that hours passed. She would just lose herself painting and painting,â her father smiled as he talked to Jack. âShe would have been there the entire day if I had let her.â
âDo you have any of her paintings still?â
âOf course! All over the house,â he chuckled. âWould you like to see them, Jack?â
âYes! Can we, dad?â Jack asked as he noticed his fatherâs approaching figure. âI wanna see the paintings.â
âIf itâs alright with Dave, then itâs alright with me.â
âOf course!â the man exclaimed. âThe more the merrier. Weâll see you there.â
David and (Y/N) walked to the car in silence. Not saying a single word until they were inside. âIâm sorry, dad,â she finally muttered. âI shouldnât have yelled at you like I did. You donât deserve that.â
âIâd say it was long overdue, kid,â he smiled softly. âYou like to keep the peace and keep everything in. Iâm surprised it hasnât happened before. You have nothing to apologize for, little bird.â
âBut I do, dad. I shouldnât have yelled at you regardless.â
âYour mother used to say that yelling is the way the soul speaks,â he said. âWhen you can no longer keep anything in, it comes out fast and unmeasured. Words come out with thorns and spikes. And much like a flower, they donât mean to hurt you, but it is in their nature to protect themselves. Itâs okay to let it out once in a while. Doesnât matter how it hurts. If my beliefs hurt you, mia bella, all you have to do is tell me. I will try my best to keep it to a minimum.â
âAnd I will try to talk about how Iâm feeling instead of yelling it,â she smiled, taking her fatherâs hand in hers. âI love you, dad. And Iâm still sorry.â
âI love you too, little bird,â he beamed. âAnd you can make it up to me by helping with dessert tonight. Weâre making your momâs favorite.â
âTiramisu,â they chorused.
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I'm Not Afraid | Chapter 16
Word Count:Â 4.3K
Story Description:Â (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her fatherâs sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousinâs, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack, as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.
A/N:Â my brain broke trying to figure out the Sheriff Station's layout, and I'm still not sure how it works. I swear, continuity and timelines are Jeff Davis' downfall đ« đ«
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The drive hadnât been long, and it had been just what (Y/N) needed. After feeling like she was suffocating in the hospital, telling her uncle and cousin how sorry she was for their loss and if they needed anything just to ask her, she told her father sheâd meet him back at the house and all but sprinted out of the building. The fluorescent lights had birthed a pounding headache into her head, the cries only working to see it further into her brain. She needed to get out before her lungs were soon to follow in the malfunction.
She killed the engine and the light of her motorcycle when she saw him waiting for her outside of the building, his arms already outstretched for the hug she desperately needed. âYou okay?â he asked as she crashed into his body. âYou donât look so good.â
âI fucked up, Isaac,â she sighed into his chest. âAnd you donât look good either.â
âYeah, well, I just went through a gruesome transformation under the full moon,â he chuckled softly. âWhatâs your excuse?â
âMy aunt just killed herself, and it was, in part, because of me.â
âWell, okay. You win.â He released her from his hold to find sorry strewn across the girlâs face. Dry tears cling to her skin in lines of grey and fresh ones threatened to spill from her reddened eyes. âTell me what happened. Why do you think itâs your fault, (Y/N)?â
âThe night of the rave, when Derek and I left to get Scott, we found my aunt Victoria slowly killing him with a vaporized version of wolfsbane,â she started. âI thought about fighting her for a second. Iâve been trained well enough that I could have possibly come out alive from that fight, but Derek told me to get Scott âmake sure he was okay and, most importantly, not dead. They fought for a bit as I got Scott off the floor, and then, all of a sudden, she was gone. After that, when we were in the vet's office, he told me he bit her deep enough that she would turn on the next full moon.â
âTonight,â Isaac affirmed. âI havenât heard either of you do anything wrong yet, (Y/N).â
âA hunter being bitten or scratched deep enough to trigger the transformation is essentially receiving a death sentence,â (Y/N) explained, her voice trembling under the force of her worries. âArgent hunters donât turn into werewolves, Isaac. They kill themselves before it can happenâthatâs part of our code. And thatâs what my aunt did tonight. My cousin lost her mother because I wasnât strong enough to fight her.â
âHey, thatâs not your fault, (Y/N).â
âWhy does everyone keep saying that?â she exclaimed. âI had the chance to make things different, and I didnât. How is that not my fault?â
âLet me ask you this, did you bite here?â
âIsaacâŠâ
âDid you?â
âNo,â she grumbled.
âDid you force her to go and kill Scott?â
âOf course not.â
âAnd did you kill her tonight?â
âNo, butâŠâ
âThere are no buts,â Isaac affirmed, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her out of her head. âYou didnât do anything wrong, (Y/N). You were in the middle of a difficult situation and made a decision. Thatâs it. Just like Victoria decided to kill Scott, you decided to save him. And have you ever thought what would have happened if you had been the one to fight her? What if your training isnât as good as you thought, and hers was better? Maybe there would have been two bodies in the morgue rather than one.â
âItâs just⊠seeing Allison and my uncle break down in front of me broke me, Isaac.â The breath she took stammered as the weight of the night fell on her shoulders. Guilt and sadness gripped her body, sinking their claws into her skin and digging themselves a home in her body. âAnd for some reason, Victoria protected me. She didnât tell anyone that I had been in the room that night.â
âHow did you know she didnât?â
âWell, firstly, I doubt they would have allowed me to still be here,â she sighed. âAnd, somehow, I just know. Like I can feel it.â
âThen why are you still feeling guilty? You did absolutely nothing wrong.â
âAnd yet, Ali now doesnât have a mother.â
âBecause your family goes by really fucked up rules. I mean, sure, being a wolf isnât all itâs chucked up to be, but itâs not enough to Jill yourself over,â Isaac retorted. âWhatever happened tonight was your auntâs decision and hers alone. You saved someone she was killing. No oneâs punishing you for that.â
(Y/N) dropped to the ground and crossed her legs under her, leaning her back against the concrete wall of the abandoned building. âSometimes I just feel like every decision I make sets off a domino effect that I canât control,â she said as Isaac sat beside her. âIâve made some bad choices in my past that rippled into some pretty awful consequences, and it seems that things arenât much different here. I just donât want something worse to happen. I donât want anyone else to get hurt because of me.â
âNo oneâs gotten hurt because of you, (Y/N). People make decisions. They make their own choices, and consequences follow. Whether good or bad, something will happen. And just because you are somehow involved in their lives doesnât mean itâs your fault.â Isaac took her hand in his, running his thumb across her knuckles in a soothing manner. âYou know, I found an anchor tonight. Something to tether me to my humanity during the full moon. I told Derek I used the thought of my father as my I donât know anchorâthe father he was before he became the thing of nightmares.â
âWhy did you lie?â
He chuckled softly as she rested her head on his shoulder. âIâm pretty sure if I told him the truth, heâd probably kill me,â he said. âIt was you, (Y/N).â
âMe? Why me?â
âYouâre the first person that ever saw me, (Y/N),â he smiled. âI mean, before you, I went through life just existing. I had no friends, I barely played in the team, and well, nothing at home was good. Without knowing me, you offered to help me with Chemistry and Math, and you even gave me some of your lunchâwhich you kept doing without giving it another thought. And the more time we spent together, the closer we got. I mean, you let me stay at your place, no questions asked, after my dad died. Even after I shifted and started acting like an ass, you still cared about me. I havenât had that in a while.â
âIf itâs any consolation, I havenât had a friend in a very long time,â she chuckled. âBut, honestly, Iâm very glad that itâs you. Not that I have anything against anyone else, but thereâs something about you, kid.â
âIâm only a year younger than you,â he laughed, bumping her with his shoulder. âBut I am glad I met you, (Y/N). Beacon Hills would have never been the same without you.â
âWell, Iâm glad my parents chose this to be our forever home,â the girl smiled as she hugged Isaacâs arm. âI donât know what I would do without an Isaac Lahey in my life.â
âThankfully, we donât have to know,â he chuckled. âAnd not that Iâm ungrateful or anything, but why are you here? I thought youâd be with Derek.â
âWell, not to make you feel bad, but he wasnât picking up his phone,â (Y/N) shrugged. âI honestly thought heâd be here with you.â
âNo, he left a little after tying me up. I thought he left to go see you.â
âHe hasnât even returned my calls,â the girl worried. She lifted her legs slightly and pulled out her phone from her pocket, confirming that Derek had not even texted back. With Isaac not knowing where he was either, worry built inside (Y/N). She chewed on her nails as she let the phone ring and ring, screaming out of frustration when he did not answer. âSomethingâs wrong. It has to be.â
âDonât go there. Just keep trying his phone.â
She kept calling his number, getting missed call after missed call, until finally, the call went through. âDerek?â she exclaimed. âAre you okay?â
âOh, this isnât Derek,â a voice she sort of recognized answered. âHeâs sort of unable to get to the phone right now. But the constant ringing was making me very irritated.â
âMatt? Why do you have Derekâs phone?â
âWell, heâs sort of my hostage.â
(Y/N) wanted to gasp, let fear take over her actions as she received information. But she couldnât. Not if what she believed was true. âYouâre the one controlling the Kanima,â she said. âYouâre the one thatâs been killing people. Why?â
âUgh, I would hate to have to repeat the story,â he groaned. âWhy donât you come here, to the sheriff's station? We could all have a little chat.â
âLeave her out of this,â she heard Scott grumble through the phone. And if he was there, (Y/N) didnât want to know who else he had taken hostage. âDonât come, (Y/N).â
âCome on, Scott. The more the merrier,â Matt taunted. âMaybe you could bring your cousin here. I really need to talk to her. She broke my heart, you know.â
âWhat game are you playing, Matt? What do you get out of all of this?â
âCome here and find out.â She could see the devilish smile spreading across his face, his eyes roaming over everyone who was in the station. Scott was there, which could only mean that Stiles also was. With Matt came Jackson. And Derek. But she couldnât help but feel there were more people there. âSay bye, everyone.â
â(Y/N), donâŠâ
Derekâs strained voice was the last thing she heard before the phone went dead, the hang-up tone filling her ear. She scrambled to her feet as she pulled the keys of her bike from her pocket, hurrying toward her motorcycle as she spoke to Isaac. âOkay, you need to stay with Boyd and Erica, make sure you guys are safe and have a way to communicate,â she instructed, her mind running a million miles a minute. âYou need to stay far away from the police station, but you need to make sure your phone is still on.â
âYouâre not going there by yourself, (Y/N),â Isaac argued. âErica and Boyd can hide. Iâm going with you.âÂ
âAbsolutely not, Isaac. Iâm the only one that can go. Iâm immune.âÂ
âBut youâre not invincible. You still bleed and hurt like everyone else. You can get hurt.âÂ
âAnd you can get paralyzed.â The rest of her words died in her throat as her phone vibrated with a text from her father. The hunters knew who was inside the station and they were going in for the attack with Allison leading the way. âLook,â she said, showing him her screen. âYou need to stay hidden, Isaac. If you get in the way, Allison is sure to kill you. Sheâs on a rampage.â
âAnd what do you think will happen to you?â
âShe doesnât know I was there.â
âBut she will know when you protect Derek. Even your dad told you to stay away.â
âAllison wouldnât kill me.â
âHow do you know?â
His words swam through her head, and, truthfully, she had no way of knowing if Allison would turn on her. She had seen firsthand how her cousin was fine with being passive-aggressive toward her, and she knew the sting of her words. But could she ever go as far as to hurt her? She had just lost her mother, and (Y/N) couldnât have a single clue what was running through her head.
She could bide the words of Derek, Scott, and her father. They were worried, she knew that. But peopleâs lives were at stake, and she didnât think she could just sit idly by. Especially not with Allison having an open season for Derek. If she could at least help him, she had to try.
âThink about it, (Y/N),â Isaac tried to reason one last time. âYou have no idea what youâre walking into here. And you shouldnât be going alone.â
âI have to help, Isaac. And you need to hide,â she restated. âIf you guys need a place to lay low where no one will think you would be, lock yourselves in my room. The window is open, and no one would expect you to be there. Iâll be there as soon as I can.â
â(Y/N)âŠâ
âI promise Iâll be careful, okay? I just need to know that youâll be safe.â
âDo you at least have a weapon on you? Youâre sort of facing a lizard person and a killer, so I donât think your fists are gonna be enough.â
With a grin on her face, she lifted the back of her shirt, exposing the gun that had been tucked away in the waist of her jeans. Then, she lifted the leg of her pants to show the knife holster on her ankle. âI never leave the house unprepared, Isaac,â she said. âAnd well, my dad gave me the gun before I left the hospital. Just in case. You do know thereâs a lizard man running rampant around town.â
âJust be safe, (Y/N),â Isaac sighed as he wrapped her in a hug. âAnd let me know as soon as youâre out of the police station.â
âI will,â she assured. âGet to my house. Lock the door to my room. If Brody gets angsty just get him a treat from my bookcase. Iâll knock three times so you know itâs me, okay?â
âOkay.â
âStay safe, Lahey.â
âYou too, Argent.â
(Y/N) sped as fast as she could toward the station, thankful that she had beaten the hunters there. Just not for too long.
As she killed the engine of her bike and hid it from view, black SUVs rolled into the parking lot. Hunters jumped out of the cars, guns strapped to their chests. Two of them rounded the building, probably to kill the power, while two more stood with Gerard, aiming at the stationâs windows.
There were only two things (Y/N) could do. She could remain hidden and somehow sneak past the hunters and into the building, or she could pretend that she was meant to meet there with them. For some reason, she chose the latter.
âAh, (Y/N),â Gerard was the first one to see her as she neared the group. âIâm glad to see you here. I assume Henry has brought you up to date.â
âYeah. Thatâs why Iâm here.â
âAnd where were you? I assumed you would meet us at Chrisâ home.â
âI was almost back home when dad texted. Figured Iâd come here where I was needed.â
âA true Argent at heart,â he smiles. The way the corners of his mouth extended sent shivers down her spine, and she thought that maybe he knew everything that had happened. But there was no chance⊠right? Victoria wouldnât have confided in him⊠right? Those were things she could not know. âWell then, youâre with us. I assume you have something other than yourself to protect you.â
âOf course,â she replied, pulling out her gun. âA hunter is always prepared.â
âVery good,â he chuckled proudly. âNow, we are going for Derek Hale. If anyone stands in our way⊠well, so be it. Thatâs Allisonâs plan.â
âSo be it,â (Y/N) chorused, swallowing the fear that threatened to strangle her. âIâm ready.â
âThatâs good to hear.â Suddenly, the sound of electricity being killed filled the air. Gerard turned toward the pair of hunters and instructed them to start shooting the second the power inside turned off. They let their weapons run without caring who or what they were hitting, their one goal was intimidation and fear. "Shakespeare wrote that love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. Letâs show them some love.â
At his instruction, the same hunters released gas bombs through the shattered windows, making it easier to conceal them as they walked inside. If innocent bystanders got hurt, then so be it. It was war, nothing else mattered.
â(Y/N) and I will walk in through the front first,â Henry said. âYou three follow through the back. We have no idea who else is in there right now/â
âOkay,â Allison nodded. âBe careful.â
âOf course.â
âAnd Derek? Heâs mine.â
The words made (Y/N)âs veins burn. Allison wasnât there to defend anyone, or even coming in to save her own boyfriend and her friend. She was there for blood. (Y/N) could see it in her eyes.
She walked alongside her father as they snuck in through the dark back door, trying their best to keep silent, her hands extended before them as they cleared the area they walked through. Her chest heaved in anticipation, and nerves ran inside her like a rampage. There was no way to know what they were walking into, but she did know who she had to walk out with.
âYou go get your friend,â her father whispered. âIâll keep moving to the back exit to join them.â
âWhat if they figure you out, dad?â
âIâve been doing this for far longer than you have,â he chuckled quietly. âYou donât have to worry about me, kid.âÂ
With a soft smile and a nod, they walked into the fog. As soon as they were out of view, (Y/N) took the front position, blinking away the sting from the smoke. âDerek?â she called out as quietly as she could. âDerek, where are you?â
Doors slammed shut and broke right after, glass and wood bursting through the ground, and all (Y/N) could hope was that none of it was masking the sound of anyone getting hurt. Well⊠at least not anyone she cared about.
âDerek,â she continued to call as she cleared the reception area and the front offices, trying her hardest to see through the darkness and the cloudiness. âPlease, where are you?â
âOver here,â she finally heard him croak out. âIâm here.â
She followed the sound of his voice until she found him trying to lift his body with a chair. He struggled under his own weight as his limbs came back alive slowly, too slowly. âOh god, Derek,â she said as she ran to help him up. âYour leg is bleeding.â
âIâm fine,â he groaned slightly. âDo you have a knife?â
âExcuse me?â
âI need you to stab me.â
âAre you crazy?!â
âI already triggered the healing process in my body,â he said. âI just need something to make it work faster.â
Without giving it much thought, (Y/N) slid to her ankle and pulled out her knife. âWhere?â she asked before Derek pointed to his leg. âPlease donât hate me.â
She drew her arm back and punched the blade onto his thigh, her cut joining the five smaller ones he had created. A growl left his body as she pulled out the knife, his face transforming and his eyes glowing red. He breathed heavily as he steadied himself, swallowing the pain from the stab as feeling returned to the rest of his body.
âWe need to get you out of here,â she said. âMy family is here to kill you tonight.â
âI canât,â he said. âIâve gotta get to the holding cells. âThereâs people that need help.â
âIf Allison finds you, sheâll shoot to kill, Derek,â (Y/N) stated. âHer mom killed herself tonight, and she knows itâs because you bit her. Allison blames you for Victoriaâs death.â
âIâm not leaving until theyâre safe,â he retorted. âAnd your cousin is the least of my worries.â
âFine,â the girl relented. She knew there was no fight to be won. The faster they rescued whoever else was in there, the faster they could go. âLead the way.â
He took off in a fast walk down hallways and doors, keeping an arm behind him to shield (Y/N). âIâll go for Jackson. You go for Matt,â he whispered. âMaybe we have a chance that way.â
âJackson canât paralyze me.â
âBut he sure as hell can hurt you. OrâŠâ
âOkay,â she stopped him. âIâll try and get Matt.â
As they neared the cells, she could hear Scottâs mother begging for her sonâs life, and all Matt could do was chastise her for not knowing what her son was. But his words soon died in his throat as Derek growled menacingly.
For a second, she believed she had him. With her gun outstretched in front of her, she walked tentatively toward Matt. His eyes flickered from side to side until, finally, they stopped beside him. Out of the darkness, the Kanima appeared and sank his claws into her arm, sending her flying against the wall. The air got knocked out of her lungs, and pain shot through her entire back.
Derek grabbed Jackson and slammed him on the desk, the distraction allowing Matt to escape. But not without (Y/N) shooting his right shoulder. Or maybe his arm. Her vision had been blurry, but she knew she had at least grazed him. The groan that had left his mouth told her so. But (Y/N) couldnât dwell on him any longer, by the time sheâd be able to work up the strength to run, heâd be long gone. What she could do was help the people in the room she was in.
Wolf and Kanima battled as they each fought for dominance, but Jackson was just too strong and too fast. His body was too close to the cell, and the girl knew she couldnât risk shooting him. One wrong move, and sheâd hit Melissa or the sheriff. All she could do was fight him head-on and hope for the best.
She slipped the knife out of her ankle once more and rushed Jackson from the back, digging the knife just below his ribs and pulling up. But all that did was anger him more. With extended claws, he slapped her across the face, sending her barreling to the ground once more. The sting from her arm didnât even compare to the sting on her face and the bounce her head did off the ground. It was stupid to fight him hand-to-hand, but she had to at least try.
An angry growl escaped Derek as he got off the floor and saw (Y/N) holding her head. Without thinking, he ran toward Jackson, with all the intent of knocking him like he had done to her. But he used the bars of the cell to lift his body and kick Derek straight to the chest and across the room.
Suddenly, as the Kanima hissed in Melissaâs face, Scott appeared and stuck his claws into the creature's ribs and pulled him off the bars. After being unhanded, Jackson slithered out the door, possibly in search of his fleeing master.
Derek jumped over the desk that kept her from (Y/N) and helped her up before signaling to follow him. They ran through the halls, but if there was any sign of Jackson before, it was gone. âFuck!â the man grumbled. âHeâs gone.â
âIâm sorry,â she croaked. âI shouldnât have gotten in the way. IâŠâ
âShh,â he interrupted.
âDerek, IâŠâ
âThereâs someone there.â
He pressed them flush against the wall, his arm draping protectively in front of her. They didnât know who it was, but it wouldnât take long to find out.
âWhat are you doing here?â Scottâs voice echoed down the hall. âIt wasnât supposed to be like this.â
âTrust me, Iâm aware of that.â
Gerard. A gasp threatened to escape her mouth, and (Y/N) clamped her hands on top of her mouth to muffle any sound. The last thing she would have ever guessed was that Scott was working with her grandfather.
âIâve done everything you asked for,â Scott continued. âI joined Derekâs pack, Iâve given you all the information that you wanted, I told you Matt was controlling JacksonâŠâ
âAnd leave him to us,â Gerard interjected. He told Scott everything he wanted to hear but gave away just one crucial thing. He would be the one to handle Matt and Jackson. Not the hunters. Gerard. âGo!â
Scott ran past the pair, unaware they had heard everything. Derekâs face had fallen in shame, his entire demeanor dropping as he realized heâd been betrayed. But the defeat only lasted a second as his attention turned to (Y/N).
âAre you okay?â he asked as he looked her over. Blood dripped down her cheek and her arm, and some stained the hair on the back of her head. âYouâre bleeding.â
âIâm fine,â she sighed. âIâm sorry. About all of this. IâŠâ
âNot now, okay,â he said softly. âYou need to get home. Clean those wounds up. Do you feel dizzy? Nauseous?â
âNo, I feel fine,â (Y/N) grumbled. âListen, Derek.â
âI need to get you home,â he continued, still interrupting everything she had to say. âYou need to go.â
 âWhatâs going on, Derek? Is it about what Scott said? I meanâŠâ
âNo. I justâŠ,â he sighed, but the words seemed to die in his throat as he tried to get them out. âLetâs just get you home. Did you come here on your bike?â
âYeah.â
âGive me the keys,â Derek said, extending his hand. âIâll drive you home and come get my car after. Are your parents there?â
âMy dadâs here, and my momâs waiting at my uncle's house.â
âGood. Letâs go.â
(Y/N) followed without much fight. Her body was filled with exhaustion, and she barely had the energy to walk to her bike. But she couldnât help the dread that slipped into her as she clung to Derekâs waist. He wasnât just saddened by Scottâs actions. There was a fear inside him that ran deeper than betrayal, and it scared her to think that it had anything to do with her.
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Speak | Chapter 23
Word Count:Â 3.1K
Summary:Â Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didnât expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf.
A/N: made some much needed changes to this scene from the book, because this Bella stands up for herself (at least a bit). And, don't hate me, but the fight is coming next chapter plus something you all have been waiting for... đ€đ€
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Across town, and unaware of the danger her sister had been in, Bella was coming face to face with her past. It had blown in through her front door as though it belonged there. Almost like it had never left.
She wasnât sure what the best way to react was. For the first time since she encountered them, Bella didnât want to rush headfirst toward them. As happy as she was to see one of them, she didnât feel the overwhelming need to be by their side. She didnât feel the ache in her limbs to run toward the visitor and crash into them for a long-awaited hug. Instead, she remained frozen at the door, staring at the figure of Alice Cullen.
âB-Bella?â Alice stammered as her eyes fell on her. âYouâre here. IâŠâ
âWell, it is my house,â she chuckled softly as she shortened the distance between them, studying the vampireâs features under the soft glow of the lamp light. âI should be the one asking why youâre here. Especially in the state that youâre in.â
Her tone wasnât accusatory, nor was it degrading. It was simply an observation. Where Aliceâs eyes should have been a bright golden color, onyx dark orbs stared at the human girl. She could see how she struggled to keep herself from taking unnecessary breaths, how she kept her distance from the girlâs irresistible scent.
âIâm sorry. I havenât hunted in a long time. I shouldnât let myself get this thirsty, but I simply had to rush here,â Alice explained. âMy surprise, though, Bella, wasnât that you came home. My surprise is that youâre alive.â
Bellaâs breath hitched in her throat at the realization. âYou saw me fall.â
âNo,â she disagreed. âI saw you jump.â
Before Bella could respond, Alice was speaking again. âI told him something like this would happen, but he didnât believe me. No. âBella promised,ââ Alice scoffed. ââDonât be looking for her future,â he told me. But just because Iâm not looking doesnât mean I donât see,â she continued. âI wasnât keeping tabs on you, I promise. Itâs just that Iâm already connected to you. And when I saw you jumping, I didnât think, I just had to get here as soon as possible. It would be too late by the time I got here, I knew that much. But I couldnât just do nothing. I came here thinking I could help Charlie with something, anything. And then you drive up,â she rambled on. Her head shook in confusion, her mind trying to connect the dots as to how Bella was standing right in front of her. âI saw you go into that water, and you didnât come up, Bella. I waited, and I waited, and you never did. What happened? And how could you do that to Charlie? Did you even think about him? And what about my brother? Do you have any idea what EdwardâŠâ
It was then that Bella cut her off. âI wasnât trying to off myself, Alice.â
âSo, you didnât jump off a cliff?â
âFor fun, Alice,â she asserted. âI was at the beach. I was bored. So, I jumped. I had seen some of Jacobâs friends do it, and it seemed like something I might want to try. So, I did it. Just like you didnât think before coming here, I didnât really think about how the weather would have affected the water before I jumped in.â
As Alice remained quiet, not quite believing her story, Bella had no chance but to continue. The vampireâs perfect eyebrow cocked as she waited for Bella to keep talking, her hip popped to the side, and her arms crossed against her chest. Something fluttered in the girlâs chest that had never been directed toward any of the Cullens. Annoyance. âLook, sure, if my sister hadnât pulled me out, I would have most likely drowned,â she said. âShe trod water for us until her friend Paul pulled us to the shore. But she did. (Y/N) pulled me out. It couldnât have been more than a minute since I was under that he did. So, if you saw me jump in, how come you didnât see either of them get me to safety?â
âSister? Wait, so someone pulled you out?â
âYes. My sister saved me.â
âBut your sister was back in Florida,â Alice mumbled almost to herself. âAnd I couldnât see her?â
âShe moved here a couple of months back,â Bella said. âShe helped me be happy again after you all left. She abandoned her life in Florida to fix something that she did not break.â
âBellaâŠâ
âYes, and then Jacob brought me back home after everything that went down,â she sighed softly.
A sudden wave of emotions contorted Aliceâs face, ranging from surprise to confusion. She stepped closer to Bella, sniffing her jacket softly before stepping back in slight disgust. Her eyebrows furrowed as thoughts ran through her head before a chuckle left her throat. âCome on, Bella,â she smiled. âWho was that outside with you? It sounded like you were arguing.â
âI told you. Jacob. Heâs my friend⊠or he wasâŠâ But Alice didnât quite buy what she was saying, and Bella could tell. âWhat?â
âI-I donât know,â she stammered. âI donât know what this all means.â
âWell, at least Iâm still here.â
âHe was a fool to think you could survive alone,â Alice scoffed softly, still speaking in a tone that made her words hard to hear. But the house was quite silent. âIâve never met someone so prone to life-threatening idiocy.â
âI survived,â Bella defended. âDespite everything, I survived.â
Still, Alice didnât listen. âBut if the current was too strong for you, and then became too strong for your sister, how was her friend able to pull you both out?â
âHeâs strong. Like unnaturally so,â she answered, startled at the topic change. She debated for a second about revealing the packâs secret. She didnât know if it was something she could divulge, much less to a vampire. But if the wolves knew everything, there couldnât be much that Alice didnât already know, or could even find out on her own. âHeâs sort of a werewolf. So is Jake. The Quileutes turn into wolves when vampires are around.â
âWell, I guess that explains the smell,â she muttered. âBut not why I didnât see them? A werewolf? Are you sure about that?â
âYeah, very,â Bella answered. âI guess you werenât with Carlisle the first time they met.â
âNo, I hadnât found him yet,â Alice responded, her mind seemed to still be floating with ideas. âAnd your friend is a werewolf?â
âYes,â she exhaled. âBut he hasnât been one for too long. Just a couple of weeks.â
âA young werewolf? Even worse! Edward was rightâyou are a magnet for danger. Werenât you supposed to be staying out of trouble?â
âThereâs nothing wrong with them.â
 âUntil they lose their tempers,â Alice judged. âAnyone would be safer after vampires left town. But not you, Bella. You find the next monster you can find.â
Aliceâs tone stung Bella, reaching a nerve that hadnât been reached by any of the Cullens yet. Normally, she would have kept quiet. Hell, the Bella from only a week before would have allowed Alice to continue her chastising of her. But not now. Not after everything that had happened. âYou know what, that is enough, Alice,â she burst. âYou donât get to come here after you all abandoned me. You donât get to judge the decisions Iâve made or the people I choose to spend my time with. You donât get to waltz in here and tell me that Iâm clumsy or that I attract danger. And you sure as hell donât get to guilt me for doing something that might have hurt Edward. Heâs the one who abandoned me. It has never been the other way around.â
The vampire seemed at a loss for words. Bella had never been that vocal about her emotions, much less had she ever faced up to the family she had loved so much it had become an addiction. Had it not been for her sister, she was sure she would have allowed them to come back in the blink of an eye, and she would have welcomed them with open arms. âAnd you may think that Iâm the one that attracts danger, but you were the ones who brought that danger to town,â she continued. âYou and your family may have left, but that doesnât mean there are no vampires here. If it hadnât been for Jacob and the pack, Victoria would have gotten me by now. If it hadnât been for them, then Laurent would have gotten me first. So, if you thought you were protecting me by leaving, then youâre dead wrong.â
âVictoria? Laurent?â Alice hissed, completely ignoring Bellaâs rant. âTell me everything. From the beginning.â
And with exhaustion and defeat weighing heavy on her already, she did. Bella skimmed through the first months of the ordeal, not needing the extra judgment that was certain to follow. She told her how she had come face-to-face with Laurent, how the pack had been keeping watch over her and Charlie, and how they had chased her through the woods that very morning. She told her what had happened with Harry Clearwater, worry taking over her as she thought of her father. And finally, she told Alice about (Y/N). About how her sister had selflessly moved in with her and Charlie to help dig her out of the hole she had fallen into. How, even if Bella hadnât made it easy, (Y/N) had stood beside her every step of the way. Like she had said before, mending something she had not broken.
(Y/N) had been the one thing Bella had been missing without even realizing it. She had never thought in her darkest moment, her sister would be the ray of light that she needed to pull through. Sure, heartbreak was embedded into the marrow of her bones and flowed through the red in her veins, and, sure, her heart still was home to Edward and would always be. But her sister had given her something she seemed to have lost almost two years before. She had found the confidence to be herself and the drive to fight for what she wanted.
âSo, our leaving didnât do you any good, huh?â
âI donât think it was ever meant to,â Bella retorted. âYou guys didnât âleaveâ because I wanted you to.â
âBut none of that explains why I didnât see your sister,â Alice muttered, somehow avoiding a real response to Bellaâs rant. âIs she human, like you?â
âYeah.â
âThen why couldnât I see her? I didnât see her pulling you out of the water, I didnât see her being helped by the other wolf. Why?â
âHow would I know?â Bella asked. âAll I can say is that my sister is definitely human.â
âBut there has to be more,â she said as she paced the living room. âI donât see what I donât know. I have never been a werewolf, so I wouldnât be able to see their futures. What is she that I canât see either?â
âMaybe sheâs like me. I mean, Edward canât read my mind. Maybe itâs something like that.â
âBut I can see you in my visions, Bella. I definitely canât see her,â she stated. âIs there anything else you know about the wolves that you havenât told me?â
âNothing.â
âThen, Iâll have to ask around. There has to be more.â
Bella couldnât believe that was all Alice was interested in. She had poured her heart out and finally had stood up for herself, and all the vampire was concerned about was her inability to see her sister in her visions. Emotions battled inside the Swan girl. She wanted to be excited that Alice was back, but she couldnât get over that she had only come back because she thought Bella was dead. It hadnât been to apologize or even to check up on her from afar. The only reason she had concerned herself was because she thought sheâd be coming back to no one.
âSo, Iâm guessing since this was such an impromptu visit, no one else came with you,â Bella said. âDoes Edward know youâre here?â
âUh, no.â
âHeâs not with Carlisle and Esme?â
âHe checks in from time to time,â she muttered. It seemed it was the only thing she had been able to do. Speaking in low tones and uncertain in the words she spoke. âI was in Denali, visiting Tanya and her family. Thatâs where I flew in from. Jasper told me it wouldnât be a great idea to come here, but I just had to see⊠I have to say Iâm sort of agreeing with him now, but Iâm glad to see youâre doing okay, Bella.â
âOkay?â the girl scoffed before she broke into a delusional chuckle. âYou want to know how I actually was, Alice? I was a shell of a human for months. The week after you left I didnât eat, I barely slept âand when I did, the nightmares were so vivid that I screamed and thrashed waking Charlie up. At some point, he said heâd have RenĂ©e come here and drag me back to Florida, but I threw such a tantrum that he promised he wouldnât.â Tears welled in the corners of Bellaâs eyes. It was the first time she admitted what had happened all those months before, and she wasnât sure if she was doing it just to hurt her or because she needed to let it all out for once. âI threw away CDs, I wouldnât look at the TV, I wouldnât even read or listen to music. I was⊠empty. Thatâs when (Y/N) left her life in Jacksonville to come here and help Charlie. My little sister, almost two years younger than me, left everything she knew to help me. I donât think she knows this, but every day, she would come into my room, and she would talk to me about nothing and everything. She made sure I ate, made sure I visited the shower once in a while, and, most of all, she made damn sure I was okay. Even if all I did was respond in one-word answers or even when I said some things that maybe I shouldnât have, she kept trying her best to help.
âI think if it hadnât been for her and Jacob, I would have never started to get better,â Bella sighed, wiping away the warm tears that stuck to her cheeks. âWell, not better exactly, but not like there was a gaping hole in my chest. Through it all, and even when I pushed them away at times, they stayed and started fixing what others had broken. And yet, thereâs this part of me, Alice, a part that wants him as much as the first time I saw him. A part that keeps waiting for him to come back, and we can pick up where we left off and have the life we used to talk about. Itâs the part that keeps this love for him and the family brewing; that wants it all back. But thereâs this other part. Itâs the part that is growing, thanks to my little sister. I see her, and I canât help but want to be a better person because of her. I want to be the sister that she needs and deserves. And I couldnât do that if I kept burying myself in the sadness. As much as I wanted you all back, the drive to be a better sister had to take a front seat.â
Alice remained silent as she finally broke out of her head and started really listening to Bella. The tears that glimmered in the girlâs eyes broke a part of the vampire she didnât know could. In an effort to keep Bella safe, they had broken a part of her humanity that was taking too long to grow back. âIâm so sorry, Bella,â the pixie-like girl finally broke, crashing her arms around her. âI didnât⊠I never thought you would hurt this much because of us. We really thought we were doing the right thing by you.â
âI know you did,â Bella sniffled, a sad smile tugging at her lips. She pulled away from Alice and took her cold hand in hers. âAnd the worst part of it all is that I would throw it all away in a second if it meant you all came back.â
âOh, Bella. I canât⊠even if we wanted to, weâŠâ
âItâs fine, Alice,â she sighed, letting her hands go and wiping away any tears that were left on her skin. âHonestly, itâs okay. And as much as I would love to have you stay, I think itâs time for you to go. Charlie will be here any second now, and I donât know if heâd be too up for visits with everything that happened with Harry today. And, well, you also need to hunt. I donât think Iâve ever said this, but you look terrible.â
âYou donât look any better yourself,â she chuckled. âBut I should find something to eat.â
âHow long will you stay in Forks?â
âAfter all of that, you still want me to stay?â
âOnly if you want, Alice. I canât decide anything for you,â she smiled softly. âBut I do want you to meet (Y/N). I know that if Charlie loves you, so will she.â
âWell, I guess I could stick around for a little while,â Alice responded. âI just want to make sure this is something you actually want, Bella. Youâve obviously come a long way, and I donât want to undo all that work.â
âI promise itâs fine,â she assured. âWill you come over tomorrow?â
âDo you want me to?â
âYes, Alice. I told you; I want you to meet my sister,â Bella restated. âIt really was good to see you. Even if I just unloaded all of this on you, and I was very hurt when you guys left, itâs still a relief to see you.â
âWell, then, I will see you tomorrow,â Alice smiled as she turned toward the door. âYou must know we thought we were doing the right thing by you, Bella.â
âI understand,â she said. âWe all do things we think are right without knowing how theyâll affect people around us. I canât say itâs human nature, but it certainly is people nature. See you tomorrow, Alice.â
âSee ya, Bella.â
After she disappeared, Bella heated up some food for Charlie before sitting on the couch to wait for him. She felt a lightness within herself that she hadnât experienced in a while. She had said words she had been terrified to confess, and she had said them without feeling guilty about them. So, she sat and turned on the TV for the first time in a long time and waited, not knowing that halfway across town, her sister had come face to face with death once more.
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12 Days of Ficmas â
Day 9
Word Count:Â 2.1K
Pairing: Â George Weasley x Fem!Reader
Prompt: Request for @blackloveangel13
Warnings: foul language
Summary:Â Everyone that lived through the Second Wizarding War lost something. Most, lost people they loved. George? Well, he lost a part of himself. But he still had the only person that stood by him through it all. And, although she lost people too, there's a ray of hope that comes just in time for the holidays.
A/N: Yup, still going, even well after the holidays. Gonna make sure I finish it even if I make it into the summer đ€đ€
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The problem with life is that sometimes it does go on. It doesnât care if youâve lost it all. It doesnât care what youâre feeling or what youâve been through. It simply goes on.Â
But how could it when George had lost a part of who he was?
The Second Wizarding War had taken a lot from almost everyone in the wizarding world. It had taken friends, it had taken enemies, it had taken allies, it had taken families. And it had taken Georgeâs other half. The one person who had known him better than he knew himself, who had shared every second of his life with, who had brought him closer to the one person he had left that could ever be at the same level as Fred had.Â
The war had left him the one person he would need just as much as his twin brother. It had provided him with his silver lining. His beautiful (Y/N).Â
She had been his saving grace when all he saw was darkness. She walked beside him when he needed someone to hold on to. She held him in her arms when his mind was too heavy with memories. And she promised him love and understanding for every second they lived.Â
The pair had moved in together soon after the war, settling into (Y/N)âs childhood home after her own parentâs passing. Though the walls had been painted and the furniture had been changed, the halls were filled with a darkness that no one could mistake. It made the house feel cold and empty. At another time, she would have sold it to buy a place for her and George to start fresh. But after everything that had happened, she couldnât find it in herself to get rid of the house her parents had raised her in.Â
Time passed âas it doesâ walking hand in hand with life, and somehow, the holidays were fast approaching. Weasleyâs Wizard Wheezers had been busier than ever during that time, forcing them both to focus on the store rather than the upcoming festivities. Neither was truly in the celebrating mood. It would be the first Christmas without the most important people in their lives other than each other, and dread was taking over.Â
But the week before Christmas (Y/N) received news that turned her entire world upside down.Â
On her free day from the shop, sheâd decided the house needed some sprucing up and some joy. She enchanted brooms and mops, making sure the entire house was clean and ready to receive Christmas cheer. Cobwebs were removed, dust was swept, curtains were opened, and spaces were cleared. Her one and only goal was to make sure things were done before George got home.Â
She wasnât sure how her boyfriend would take the transformation of their home. Only a week before, they had agreed on the fact that Christmas would be skipped that year. That the only sign of the holidays would be the gifts they would take over to Molly and Arthurâs home for the family and nothing else.Â
But things had changed.Â
She had changed.Â
Somehow, in only a half day, she had gotten the entire house cleaned and had brought in a giant pine tree into the living room. Lights had been hung on the roof, and enchanted ornaments were slowly making their way onto the tree.Â
As (Y/N) worked on a special dinner of braised lamb shanks and creamy mashed potatoes, soft music rang across the room. It made her sway as she listened, feeling the beat fill her body with unimaginable joy. After almost a year of sorrow, it was the first time in a long time sheâd felt insurmountable happiness and hope. Most of all, she felt hope.
Suddenly, the front door opened, the bells on the wreath ringing as they moved. âDarling,ïżœïżœïżœ she heard George call out. âWhat is all this?â
âOh, sweetheart, youâre home,â she smiled as she placed the lid on the simmering pot. âHow was your day?âÂ
âI thought we had agreed not to decorate for the holidays,â he grumbled, disregarding the change in topic. âThis looks quite done up, (Y/N).âÂ
âI donât know,â she shrugged. âI just thought maybe we could use a bit of holiday cheer. Weâve had a hard year, andâŠâ
âA hard year?! I lost my fucking brother, (Y/N)!â George exclaimed as he slammed his things onto the kitchen counter. âWe fought in a fucking war, and we lost so many people. I donât think holiday decorations will help with forgetting all of that.â
âIâm not trying to make us forget what happened,â the woman flinched. âI lost people too, George. Youâre not the only one suffering here.â
âWell, you definitely have a funny way of showing it,â he seethed. âI donât wanna see all of this bullshit here, (Y/N). Itâs not a happy fucking Christmas.âÂ
âI know, I was just trying toâŠâ
âYou know, itâs hard enough that I have to put on a happy face at the store, but I canât do it at home too! I canât. I just canât!â His voice had raised to a volume it had never before when directed toward her, and it made (Y/N) recoil into herself. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she stepped back from George, a visible pained expression on her face. âIâm taking a walk.âÂ
âGeorgeâŠâ
âI said Iâm taking a fucking walk!â
The door slammed behind him, making (Y/N) jump at his sudden outburst. Sheâd never seen anger like that in him, never even heard his voice rise had it not been out of excitement. It scared and pained her to know there was so much ire stored inside him. She could understand it. She could understand why happiness surging after time passed would make him angry. It had made her angry for a long time as well. But she couldnât contain herself. Not now when, after so much darkness, she had finally been able to see light.Â
As warm tears stained her cheeks, she went back to attend the dinner. Even if George was angry, he still had to eat. She mixed the potatoes and let the lamb simmer before she walked to the dining room to set the table. Her fingers traced the design on the plates, the very ones she had grown up eating out of. They had been a gift to her parents from her grandparents when she had been born, and they had used them every single night since. She followed the gold trim of the plate, drinking in the delicate floral adornations. Every trace reminded her of the laughter that filled the room during dinner time; it reminded her of her fatherâs corny jokes about whatever food her mother had made and the roll of her motherâs eyes as she smiled at her husband. Never again would she see or hear them, not in a real way. They would live in her heart and her memory, but they would not hold her anymore, nor the child she would have in nine months. Â
By the time (Y/N) had served Georgeâs plate, he had walked back into the house, his head dropped in shame and defeat. His auburn hair was covered in white specs of snow, and he let them drop to the floor as his hands ruffled the strands.Â
âHey,â he called out sheepishly, walking slowly toward the dining room. âLooks good.â
âThanks,â she answered dryly as she pushed her food around the plate. âI made one of your favorites.â
âYeah, I see,â he said. âSmells great, too. Thank you.â
âOf course. I hope you like it.â
The couple ate in silence; the only sound that filled the room was the scraping of utensils on ceramic. The air around them was heavy, a gripping tension holding their breaths in their throats. Neither wanted to say it, but both were thinking of the tantrum George had thrown.Â
âYou know, itâs not fair,â (Y/N) finally said, slamming her fork in the table. âEverything you said to me was not fair.â
âIâŠâ
âNo, George,â she choked as tears welled up in her eyes. âI lost my parents, I lost my best friend, and somewhere along the line, I lost you too. I know the pain youâre in, darling. I lived every second of that war right by your side, and I am living it now to this day. I know that no amount of time or holiday will ever heal the loss that weâve suffered, but we cannot keep living as though the ones who died were us. Iâm not asking you to move on, George. Much less am I asking you to pretend as though Fred didnât die. All I want for us is to live. To live for ourselves and for them.â
She stretched her hand to grasp his, squeezing it comfortingly as she saw sobs shake his shoulders. âI didnât do all this to hurt you, sweetheart. I would never want to hurt you,â she said. âBut I found something out today that changed my life. Something that will change our life.âÂ
âWhatâre you on about, (Y/N)? What did you learn?âÂ
âIâm pregnant, George,â she smiled softly. âThe reason I have been feeling odd these past couple of days is because weâre having a baby. Thatâs why I wanted to decorate for Christmas. Thatâs why I wanted the house not to be riddled with shadows and sorrows. I donât want to start this new journey carrying the sadness of our past. I want to move with the happy moments we shared with them because thatâs what our child deserves. And I know that grief is still heavy in our hearts butâŠâÂ
Before she could ramble another word out of her mouth, George had rounded the table and crashed his lips onto hers, not minding the way he had to almost completely bend down to reach her. He cradled her face and kissed her fervently, tasting finally the joy sheâd had. âMerlin, Iâve been a downright wanker, huh?â he chuckled as he rested his forehead against hers. âIâm sorry for all the bullshit I said, (Y/N). You didnât deserve it. And, to be honest, it wasnât actually directed at you.â
âWhat happened?â (Y/N) asked softly, caressing his reddened cheek as he knelt before her.Â
âSomeone confused me for Fred at the store, and it sent me on a downward spiral,â he sighed. âHad to keep it together while I was working, but when I saw the lights outside âtheyâre pretty, kind youâ I just snapped. And you didnât deserve that. Thatâs not who I am, sweetheart. You know itâs not.â
âI know, George. And I know those words came from a place of pain,â she smiled. âI know the sweet and caring man that you are, that youâve always been. It did hurt to hear the way you raised your voice at me and the words that spewed from your mouth. But I knew it wasnât because of me.â
âMerlin, Iâm so sorry, (Y/N). I promise I will never, ever raise my voice at you like that again.â Georgeâs eyes bore into hers, searching for the haven he always found in them. âYou are the only thing that has kept me together this past year, and Iâm so fucking lucky to have you by my side. I know that, darling. You are my reason for being. You and this little bugger.âÂ
His hands slipped to her stomach, a tearful smile taking over his features. âIn this absolute darkness, my darling, you are hope. You two are the light at the end of this tunnel,â he sniffled. âAnd I promise that there will never come another moment where you ever doubt how desperately in love I am with you.â
âI never doubted it,â (Y/N) grinned, threading her fingers through Georgeâs. âThat love you feel, I feel. The grief, the sorrow, the pain. The happiness, the joy, the laughter. All that you feel, I feel. And our child will, too. This is our new chapter, sweetheart. Our chance to start living again.âÂ
âAnd what a privilege it is to have my heart beat at the same time as yours,â he smiled wide as he brought her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her waist. âThank you for this gift, (Y/N). Come to think of it, it might just be a happy Christmas after all.âÂ
âWell, it ought to be,â she chuckled, bringing him closer by his neck. âThis little one is already causing a ruckus.â
âTakes after his father.â
âAnd how do you know itâs going to be a boy?â (Y/N) chuckled. âIt could well be a girl.â
âIt could also be twins.â
âMerlin, that would be a real adventure,â she startled. âBut Iâm up for it if you are.â
âDarling, Iâd go through hell if I had you by my side,â he said before he took her lips once more. âBut I do hope itâs just one baby.âÂ
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Heartbeat | Chapter 17
Word Count:Â 4.2K
Warnings:Â foul language, mature themes, medical procedures
Story Description:Â (Y/N) Marks had no free time. From studying for med school, working her rounds for clinical, and the occasional babysitting her sisters sprung on her, she was all booked up. But none of that stopped her from aiding her sister and their best friends to rob a grocery store. She could have never guessed those couple of minutes would be enough to change her life forever or that it would lead to her meeting the man that would catalyze that shift.
A/N:Â this is a very long, bilingual medical chapter, so beware. All Spanish is in italics and the English translation is right next to it in bold. I hope y'all don't get too lost. Also, wow, translating this almost killed me đ
đ
thankfully, I don't know any other languages to incorporate in my stories
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Rio and (Y/N) sped down the hallway, hot on Twitchâs trail. If it hadnât been for him, (Y/N) was sure a shouting match would have gone down in his office. She seethed at the thought that Rio had involved her family in his business, but it hurt her more that no one thought she was capable of handling that information. Because of that, her anger was evenly distributed between her sisters and him.
âWeâre not done talking, by the way,â she said as she wrapped the stethoscope she had fished from her bag around her neck. âI intend to find out what the fuck youâre doing working with my sisters.â
âYeah, didnât think so,â he scoffed. âBut I donât owe you explanations.â
âWell, youâre still gonna give them.â
Twitch stopped at the doors of what had been an empty storage space the last time she had seen it. Worry was seen into the manâs furrowed brows, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. (Y/N) couldnât help the dread that washed over her as she stared into his eyes. Whatever his uncle had seemed to be serious, and she worried she didnât have the knowledge or the skills to help him.
âTell me whatâs going on, Twitch,â (Y/N) said as she tied her hair up. âWhat am I walking into.â
âUh, my cousin Elena called me like half an hour ago to tell me that my uncle was not feeling well,â the man started, his words trembling with fear. âHe had been complaining that he was having some chest discomfort and a bit of shortness of breath for the last couple of days, but it got really bad tonight. She told me she found him on the sofa clutching his chest and almost like he was out of it. And they donât got health insurance, so I thought maybe you could help.â
âOf course,â she smiled softly. âWhatâs your uncleâs name?â
âJuliĂĄn Colon,â Twitch answered. âHe donât really speak English, though.â
âOh, thatâs okay. IâŠâ
âIâll translate,â Rio interrupted.
Before (Y/N) could talk back, Rio opened the doors to the room, and all words died in her mouth. It wasnât the patient that left her dumbfounded, it was the way the room had transformed into every emergency doctorâs dream. A well-equipped âeven if just with the basic necessitiesâ hybrid operating room. She knew she had been the one to make the wishlist and had spent many hours explaining to Rio the necessity for each machine. But she had never imagined that he had listened, much less that he had been able to get them.
Yet, her astonishment had to wait.
In the center of the room, lying on the exam bed, Julian lay still clutching his chest. His daughter was next to him, trying her best to calm him down, but she was also in a desperate mood. The only way either could feel better was if (Y/N) got to work.
On a wooden perch on her right, a white coat with Dr. (Y/N) Marks embroidered on the left side hung. She slipped it on as she got closer before putting on a pair of gloves, and prepared her mental checklist to ensure she didnât miss a single thing.Â
âAy, doctora,â ["Oh, doctor,"] Elena started before (Y/N) could say a thing. âQue bueno que estĂĄ usted aquĂ. Este es mi papĂĄ, JuliĂĄn. Se sentĂa mal desde hace unos dĂas pero no pensĂĄbamos que era algo tan serio. Pero hoy casi como que se me va y no sabĂa que hacer. Entonces le llamĂ© a TomĂĄs y pues Ă©l me dijo que la viniera a ver." ["I'm so glad you're here. This is my father, JuliĂĄn. He's not been feeling well for a few days, but we never thought it was something serious. But today, he seemed out of it and didn't know what to do. Then, I called TomĂĄs, and he told me to come see you."]
âWhat she said wasâŠâ
âNo se preocupe, Elena. Voy a hacer todo lo posible para ayudar a su papĂĄ,â ["Don't worry, Elena. I'm gonna do everything possible to help your dad."] (Y/N) smiled, interrupting Rio as he had done before. The look of surprise on his face was one she wished sheâd had the time to take a picture of and frame. That would be the last time he ever underestimated her. âBuenas, Señor ColĂłn. Soy la doctora estudiante (Y/N) Marks y le voy a estar atendiendo. Su sobrino me comentĂł que le estĂĄ doliendo mucho el pecho. Antes de poder continuar con cualquier cosa, Âżpuede hablar bien o necesita que su hija hable por usted.â ["Hello, Mr. ColĂłn. I am student doctor (Y/N) Marks, and I'm gonna be seeing you today. Your nephew told me that your chest is hurting. Before anything else, are you able to speak, or do you need your daughter to speak for you?"]
âPuedo hablar,â ["I can speak,"] he said, trying his best to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. âY por favor, llĂĄmeme JuliĂĄn.â [ "And, please, call me JuliĂĄn."]
âMuy bien, JuliĂĄn,â ["Very good, JuliĂĄn,"] she smiled as she slid her stethoscope from her neck and placed the earpieces in. âVoy a poner esto en su pecho para escuchar su corazĂłn y sus pulmones. Lo va a sentir bien frĂo, asĂ que mil disculpas. Y voy a necesitar que respire profundo hasta donde pueda cuando le diga. ÂżVale?â ["I'm going to place this on your chest to listen to your heart and your lungs. It's gonna feel really cold, so I'm sorry about that. And I'm gonna need you to breathe as deeply as you can when I tell you. Okay?"]
The man nodded as she slipped the bell through his button-up shirt. He winced at the cold but remained as still as possible as (Y/N) instructed him to breathe in and then out, repeating the words until she had checked every part that she needed to. Then she pulled out her manual blood pressure monitor, chuckling to herself as she used it. The instrument was almost obsolete, but she preferred it. The ability to hear her patientâs pulse that clearly made her feel connected to them. She wasnât just sticking a machine to them and pushing them aside, she was caring for them every step of the way. Maybe thatâs why she had gotten the most accurate readings in her class.
âVale,â ["Alright,"] she said as she wrote down her notes on the patient practice sheets she always carried. âMe mencionĂł dolor en el pecho. ÂżCĂłmo del uno al diez, diez siendo lo peor, cuĂĄn fuerte es el dolor en el pecho?â ["You mentioned pain in your chest. From one to ten, ten being the worst, how strong is your chest pain?"]
âPues como un seis o un siete,â ["Well, like a six or a seven,"] he groaned slightly. âPero me siento como mareado y con falta de aire.â ["But I feel dizzy and out of breath."]
âY desde hace cuĂĄntos dĂas siente este dolor?â ["And how many days ago did you feel this pain?"]
âPues como desde la semana pasada. Me empezĂł como un dolor en el cuello pero no pensĂ© era algo grave porque me dan a menudo por el trabajo,â ["Well, since the last week. It started as pain in my neck, but I didn't think it was anything serious since it happens a lot because of my job,"] the man explained slowly. His breath wheezed every so often, making everyone but (Y/N) flinch. But she had to keep him awake, and she had to keep him talking. âPero hace unos dĂas como que me empezĂł a faltar el aire. Y yo me dije, pos, es gripa. Hasta que hoy el dolor me cogio todo el pecho, el cuello y el brazo. Y, doctora, siento que me voy.â ["But a couple of days ago, I started feeling shortness of breath. And I told myself, well, it's the flu. Until today when it spread to my chest, my neck, and my arm. And, doctor, I feel like I'm going."]
âTranquilo, JuliĂĄn. Todo va a estar bien.â ["Keep calm, JuliĂĄn. Everything is gonna be okay."] She placed a comforting hand onto his forearm, wearing the same warm smile she wore at the hospital. âAhora te voy a hacer unos exĂĄmenes rĂĄpidos para verificar cĂłmo estĂĄ su corazĂłn. No es motivo de alarma, es solamente un examen estĂĄndar que nos ayudarĂĄ a descartar o acertar quĂ© estĂĄ pasando.â ["Now, I'm gonna do some quick tests on you to check the state of your heart. There's no need to be alarmed, it's only a standard test that will help us discard or ascertain what is going on."]
She looked around the room for a second until her eyes fell on the very thing she needed. âHey, Twitch,â she called. âCan you roll over that machine that looks like a laptop and has a lot of wires to the side? Oh, and the one that looks like it has a TV on top.â
âUh, sure thing,â he stammered as though he was breaking out of a trance. He brought the EKG and the Echo machine over, gifting (Y/N) a soft smile. âHere you go.â
âJuliĂĄn, le voy a abrir la camisa un poco para poder colocarle estas pegatinas en el pecho. EstĂĄn conectadas a esta mĂĄquina que nos enseñarĂĄ cĂłmo estĂĄ latiendo su corazĂłn. ÂżVale?â["JuliĂĄn, I'm going to open your shirt a bit so I can place these stickers on your chest. They're connected to this machine that will show us how your heart is beating. Alright?"] After the man nodded, (Y/N) did as she had said. She opened his shirt enough she was able to set all of the chest leads where they needed to be before moving on to placing the ones on his arms and legs.
âÂżPor quĂ© tantos cables?â ["Why so many cables?"] Elenaâs curiosity interjected.
âEs para tener una mejor lectura de su ritmo cardiĂĄco,â ["It's to get a better reading on his cardiac rhythm,"] (Y/N) explained. âSe puede tomar solo del pecho pero de esta forma podemos ver como estĂĄ el pulso en sus extremidades a la vez.â ["It can be take only on the chest, but this way we can see how the pulse is spreading to his extremities at the same time."]
âElenita, deja que la doctora trabaje,â ["Elenita, let the doctor work,"] JuliĂĄn croaked out softly.
âNo es ninguna molestia contestar preguntas, Don JuliĂĄn,â ["It's not trouble to answer questions, Mr. JuliĂĄn,"] she chuckled. âEntiendo que es un momento estresante.â ["I understand that it's a stressful moment."]
(Y/N) allowed the machine to run for a couple of minutes before she was able to let out a breath of relief. The evidence was small, almost invisible to the normal eye. But she could see it. Right below the normal line, she could see it.
âÂżQuĂ© ve, doctora?â ["What do you see, doctor?"] Elena asked. âÂżEstĂĄ todo bien?â ["Is everything okay?"]
âBueno, Âżpuede ver esta pequeña hundidura en el patrĂłn?â ["Well, do you see that small dip in the pattern?"] she said as she pointed at the slight difference in the wave pattern. âEsto nos muestra que el corazĂłn no estĂĄ latiendo como debe. Pero, no es nada alarmante al momento. La diferencia no es substancial. Por lo que puedo ver al momento, Don JuliĂĄn sufriĂł de un pequeño ataque al corazĂłn. Pero no parece que haya sido algo muy grave. Ahora le haĂ© un ecocardiograma que me ayudarĂĄ a determinar como estĂĄ trabajando el corazĂłn ahora mismo.â ["This show us that his heart is not beating as it should. But, it's nothing alarming at the moment. The difference is not substantial. From what I can see at the moment, Mr. JuliĂĄn suffered a small heart attack. But it doesn't appear to be too serious. I'll do an echocardiogram now that will help me determine how the heart is working right now."]
âÂżUn ataque, doctora? ÂżCĂłmo no puede ser grave?â ["A heart attack, doctor? How can it not be serious?"]
(Y/N) covered the transducer with a small amount of gel before answering, âHay veces que el corazĂłn sufre por otros motivos. Por ejemplo, como habĂa mencionado, JuliĂĄn tenĂa la presiĂłn bastante elevada cuando llegĂł. Y si los sĂntomas comenzaron aproximadamente hace una semana, es probable que ha estado con la presiĂłn alta desde entonces, lo que cause que el corazĂłn trabaje mĂĄs fuerte de lo usual y suceda un evento asĂ.â ["There are times the heart suffers for other reasons. For example, as I mentioned, JuliĂĄn had quite a high blood pressure when he arrived. And, if the symptoms started about a week ago, it's probable that he's had high blood pressure since then, which would cause his heart to overwork more than usual and cause this kind of thing."] She faced the man again and explained the gel would be cold against his skin, but she needed to get an in-depth image of his heart, and that, if he could, to remain as still as possible.
Everyone remained silent as she moved the wand around his chest, the only sound heard was the fast rushing of blood in his body. It was strong and steady, and exactly what she wanted to hear. As each minute passed, black-and-white images of a strong heart appeared, and (Y/N) was grateful it wasnât a more serious scenario. Since JuliĂĄn had seemed to start to calm, his heart appeared to be less strained. It showed no signs of blockage or any areas that seemed to be dying or malfunctioning. The muscle was working as intended and beat hard against his chest. It was as healthy as could be in the situation, and it relieved her that not more would happen to the man.
âBueno,â ["Well,"] (Y/N) sighed contentedly. âPor lo que muestran las imagenes, su corazĂłn esta en buenas condiciones dada las circumstancias. ÂżEn estos dĂĂĄs ha estado en alguna situaciĂłn que le haya provocado un alsa en estrĂ©s or presiĂłn?â [ "From what the images show, your heart is in good condition given the circumstances. Have you gone through any situation that could have provoked speak in anxiety or pressure in these few days?"]
âNo. No que yo sepa.â ["No. Not that I know of."]
âVamos, papĂĄ,â ["Come on, dad,"] Elena scolded gently. âEstĂĄn despidiendo a personas en su trabajo y la carga ha caido sobre los empleados que siguen allĂ. Es bĂĄsicamente el doble del trabajo por la misma paga. Es una presiĂłn inimaginable pero el nunca lo admitirĂa.â ["They've been laying people out in his work and the weight had fallen onto the employees that are still there. It's basically double the work for the same pay. It's an unimaginable pressure but he'd never admit it."]
âSon agobios del oficio,â ["It's just cons of the job,"] JuliĂĄn shrugged. âY no estamos en una posiciĂłn donde pueda dejar el trabajo.â ["And we're not in a position where I can leave my job."]
âLe entiendo, Don JuliĂĄn,â ["I understand, Mr. JuliĂĄn,"] (Y/N) smiled softly. âTambiĂ©n le pregunto, Âżusted toma o fuma? Y si la respuesta es sĂ, Âżcon cuĂĄl frecuencia?â ["I also have to ask, do you smoke or drink? And, if the answer is yes, with what frequency?"]
âEh, bueno, sĂ fumo,â ["Uh, well, I do smoke,"] he admitted sheepishly. âAlrededor de cuatro a cinco cigarillos al dĂa. Y pues, bebo dos o tres cervezas en la noche por eso de bajar el estrĂ©s.â ["Around four to five cigarettes a day. And, well, I drink around two or three beers at night to destress."]
âPapĂĄ, me dijiste que ibas a dejar el cigarillo. Sabes que no es bueno para ti.â ["Dad, you told me you were gonna quit smoking. You know it's not good for you."]
âAy, sĂ, mija, pero es difĂcil,â ["I know, mija, but it's hard,"] JuliĂĄn sighed. âUsted entiende, doctora. Es difĂcil dejarlo.â ["You understand, doctor. It's hard to quit."]
âEntiendo que es difĂcil, Don JuliĂĄn, pero este evento complica las cosas. Va a tener que hacer grandes cambios en su vida para evitar un ataque mĂĄs grave. Especificamente, un ataque que deje daños irreparables a su corazĂłn. El corazĂłn no es como los demĂĄs mĂșsculos y Ăłrganos. DespuĂ©s de que se daña aguna parte del, no vuelve a generarse y sananarse. NecesitarĂĂĄ de intervenciĂłn mĂĄs sofisticada,â ["I understand it's difficult, Mr. JuliĂĄn, but this episode complicates things. You are gonna have to make changes in your life to avoid a bigger attack. Specifically, an event that will leave irreparable damages to your heart. The heart isn't like other muscles and organs. Once any part of it is damages, it will not regenerate or heal. You will need more sophisticated intervention,"] (Y/N) explained as gently as possible. It was a situation that warranted big life changes. âMientras mĂĄs edad, mĂĄs propenso es a tener otro ataque. AsĂ que, es necesario tomar ciertas decisions sobre su vida. Por ejemplo, dejar el cigarillo y disminuir el consume del alcohol es un comienzo. TambiĂ©n, comer mĂĄs saludable y llevar una rutina de ejercicio es necesario. Pero sobre todo buscar una forma de manejar el estrĂ©s y mantener su presiĂłn en un estado saludable es esencial.â ["The older you get, the more susceptible you are to have another episode. So, it's necessary to take certain decision regarding your life. For example, quitting cigarettes and diminishing your alcohol intake. Also, eating healthier and having an excercise routine is necessary. But overall it's essential you find a way to manage your stress and keep your blood pressure in a healthy state."]
âLo mismo que te llevo diciendo, papĂĄ,â ["That's what I've been saying, dad,"] Elena reinforced, a look of victory in her eyes. âVamos a ver si escuchas a la doctora entonces.â ["Let's see if you listen to the doctor then."]
âDon JuliĂĄn, es muy importante que haga cambios en su dĂa a dĂa para asegurar que otro evento como este no le afecte. O por lo menos que pase despuĂ©s de muchos, muchos años.â ["Mr. JuliĂĄn, it's very important that you make changes in your everyday life to ensure that another episode like this one doesn't affect you. Or, at least, that it happens very, very far in the future."] (Y/N) spoke as she examined a cabinet labeled as medicine, looking for a specific white bottle. âAhora, le voy a dar esta aspirina como precauciĂłn. Por si acaso hay algun coagulo que escondido por ahĂ. Luego, quiero que descanse por algunos dĂas. Necesita darle un descanso a su corazĂłn y a su mente antes de volver a su trabajo. De necesitar alguna prueba de mĂ©dico, solo me tiene que contactar y buscare una manera de hacerle llegar una. Pero, por el momento, lo que necesita es descansar. En lo prĂłximos dĂas podrĂĄ sentirse mareado, fatigado, o hasta con nauseas. Esto es normal, pero si continua o sus sĂntomas empeoran, por favor dĂ©jemelo saber.â ["Now, I'm gonna give you an aspirin as precatution. Just in case there is any blood clot hidden in there. After, I want you to rest for a couple of days. You need to give your heart and your mind a break before returning to work. If you need a doctor's note, all you have to do is contact me and I'll find a way to get one to you. But, for the time being, what you need to do is rest. You might feel dizzy, fatigues or even nauseous in the coming days. That's normal, but if it persists or your symptoms worsen, please let me know."]
âYo me aseguro que siga sus instrucciones, doctora,â ["I'll make sure he follows your instructions, doctor,"] Elena smiled, placing a gentle hand on her father's shoulder. âY tan pronto llegue a casa voy a botar todas las cajetillas de cigarrillo que encuentre.â ["And as soon as I get home, I'm throwing away every single cigarette carton I find."]
âBuena idea,â ["Good idea,"] (Y/N) laughed. âAhora le voy a poner una bolsa de agua salina intravenosa, solo para ayudar al cuerpo en cuestiĂłn de hidrataciĂłn. Tan pronto la bolsa se termine, podrĂĄn irse a su casa.â ["Now, I'm gonna give you a saline water IV bag, just to help your body in terms of hydration. As soon as the bag is empty, you can go home."]
âMuchas gracias, doctora,â ["Thank you so much, doctor,"] the man smiled gratefully as (Y/N) walked toward the IV bag storage and rummaged for a sterile needle set. âGracias a Dios que Tomasito conociĂł a una joven tan talentosa e inteligente como usted. No tengo con que pagarle pero si le puedo cocinar. AsĂ que un dĂa de estos tendrĂĄ que venir a nuestro hogar para una buena cena.â ["Thank God Tomasito knows a young woman as talented and intelligent as you. I don't have anything to pay you with but I can cook for you. So, one of these days, you'll have to come by our home for a good dinner."]
âNo hay mejor pago que ese,â ["There's no better reward than that,"] she smiled as she slipped the needle into his arm and hung the bag on an IV pole. âAhora, descanse en lo que la bolsa se va vaciando. Y de necesitar cualquier cosa, no duden en llamarme. EstarĂ© solamente a unos pasos de aquĂ.â ["Now, rest until the bag is empty. And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me. I'll be only a few steps away."]
âNo sabe cuanto le agradezco,â ["You have no idea how grateful I am,"] Elena said as she hugged (Y/N) suddenly. âQue Dios bendiga sus manos y se lo pague mil veces.â ["May God bless your hands and repay you a thousand times."]
âNo hay de que, Elena. Estamos aquĂ para ayudar.â ["There's no need, Elena. Here to help."]
âCuĂdala, eh, Cristopher,â ["Take care of her, hey, Christopher,"] the woman said as she released (Y/N), her eyes setting in the quiet form of Rio. âElla es una de las buenas.â ["She's one of the good ones."]
âEso parece,â ["That's what it seems like,"] he smiled softly. âLos dejamos descansar en lo que. Voy a mandar a pedir comida asĂ que no se preocupen de nada. Si necesitan algo mĂĄs, no duden en decirlo. ["We'll let you rest in the meantime. I'm gonna send for food, so don't worry about anything."] Twitch, go ahead and take tonight off to be with them. Iâll send Francis out for some food and call Rod in.â
âAâight, thanks, man,â Twitch said as he clasped Rioâs hand and took him into a hug before turning to (Y/N)and wrapping his arms around her. âThank you, (Y/N). You have no idea what this means to us.â
âNo need to thank me,â she chuckled softly. âBut I am gonna need the story behind the name Twitch, Tomasito,â she teased as he released her. âI am sure there is a great story there.â
âI guess I do owe you one,â he laughed. âIâll tell it to you soon enough.â
âIâll hold you to it,â (Y/N) grinned. âNow, go be with them.â
Once Twitch was sat with his uncle and his cousin, (Y/N) and Rio turned to leave the room. But where Rio stopped at the closed door, she kept walking toward the back stairs. Even as he called her name over and over, she didnât stop until she reached the door toward the roof. She pushed the heavy door, wincing as it creaked. And finally, when she was outside did she feel she could breathe.
JuliĂĄn had been lucky. There was a high chance that the night could have ended differently for him, and the ColĂłn family wouldâve lost a member. She had seen patients pass because of heart problems, and she had dealt with harder cases, but there was something about knowing the people who would hurt that filled her with anxious thoughts. Treating JuliĂĄn and having it be the best-case scenario in that kind of situation only helped to ease her mind. Still, the rush of treatment had died, and her mind was paying the price. All she needed for a second was to breathe.
A minute or two later, the door opened again, and Rio walked toward her. He sat quietly next to her, the cushion sinking under him as he did. âYou did good tonight,â he said as he slid an envelope toward her. âTwitch sends that.â
âI donât want his money,â (Y/N) sighed, her eyes focused on the horizon. âIâm just glad his uncle is okay. It can be terrifying when someone in your family is going through something, and you donât know about it.â
âOkay, I get the hint,â he sighed. âYou need to understand that it ainât my place to tell you what your sisters and your friend do. Their business is theirs to handle, and if they didnât tell you âbout it, it ainât on me.â
âBut itâs on you that you didnât tell me. You knew I was worried about them. Especially when you showed up to Bethâs house. But you all lied to me, and I donât care if it was to protect me or because it was none of my business,â she fumed. âDo you know how terrified I was this morning when the agent showed up? Especially when he mentioned Beth. I was so worried Iâd say something wrong or find a way to screw things up for you. It would have taken just a single answer, and I could have sunk everyone. All because I didnât know anything. Because none of you think I can handle the truth. And Iâm tired of people thinking that.â
Rio remained quiet as he heard her words, struggling as his mind fought with his heart. He wanted to tell her everything right then and there, but he didnât want to dig her deeper into his world. She could not be collateral damage in her sistersâ decision, even less collateral in all of his.
âLet me guess, Beth was the one that reached out first,â she startled him out of his thoughts. âAfter the whole thing in Canada, right?â
âYeah.â
âWhat do they do for you?â
âThey clean my money,â he admitted. â100K a week, and they get a cut. Thatâs it.â
âYeah, money laundering. Thatâs it,â she chuckled dryly. âThatâs what youâve all kept so quiet this entire time? I mean, itâs a step down from robbery and being held at gunpoint.â
âItâs business, (Y/N). It ainât got nothing to do with you,â Rio shrugged. âAnd I donât want it to do anything with you.â
âBut it does, doesnât it? I am in this world, Chris. Every single time I take care of one of your men or I spend a night with you, I become more and more a part of this world.â (Y/N) finally looked at him, her eyes finding his in the night. âI understood from the beginning what being here with you meant. I understood it the second you offered me this job. But I canât do this if thereâs not 100% honesty here. I need to know you trust me.â
âI do trust you, (Y/N). I just⊠I donât know how to do this.â
âDo what?â
âThe whole honesty shit,â Rio confessed, running his hands across his face in frustration. âI know how to lie. I know how to give out enough without giving anything at all. But I donât know how to be honest with anyone.â
âThen start with me. Donât hide shit like this from me. Answer the things I ask you and give away the things that I donât. Itâs all I ask.â Rio sat back on the sofa and extended an arm for (Y/N) to fit into his side. Without any reluctance, she did, resting her head on his arm and placing a hand on his chest. âIâm just tired of other people choosing what they think is best for me without ever asking what I would want.â
âI can try,â he sighed. âBut it ainât gonna come easy to me.â
âYouâll learn,â she smiled, lifting her head slightly to kiss his cheek. âNow, what do I do about this FBI agent?â
âWell, your sister told me he got a picture of me,â he explained. âI bet sheâs in his office right now telling him some story about how we fucked or something. So, I suggest you two get your stories straight. Unless you both want to stick to the same story.â
âYouâre really suggesting I tell a federal agent that you slept with two sisters in the same house? Are you trying to make us sound crazy or make you look like a player?â As she laughed, he went to answer. But she didnât want to hear his words. âYou know what? Iâll talk to her then.â
"You don't even know what I was gon' say."Â
"And I don't want to."Â
"Fine," Rio smiled. "But just let me know what you gon' do. You ain't alone in this, (Y/N)."Â
"Thanks," she smiled, sinking into the warmth of his body. "I'm just scared Turner might have something more that he's not showing Beth. Something that will discredit anything we say."Â
"It's not your job to worry this much."Â
"I think you should be worrying more. He's got your picture."Â
"That's nothing," he shrugged. "He can add me on Facebook if he wants more."Â
"That joke is still not funny," she reiterated. "Just promise if things get too heated that you'll hit the breaks on everything. I don't want anything to happen to you or my sisters."Â
âAâight. All I can promise is I'll try,â he chuckled, kissing the top of her head. âSo, why you know how to talk Spanish? I ainât ever heard someone speak that good of Spanish when it ainât their first language.â
âIâve been studying it since middle school,â she said. âWhen I entered sixth grade, there had been a new boy in school. AdriĂĄn. He had just moved to Detroit from Puerto Rico and had no one there. He spoke English, but everyone could tell he wasnât that good at it, so people avoided him. So, the very next day, I started reading all the Spanish workbooks in the library and even signed up for the Spanish class. The first thing I learned was to say, âHola, mi nombre es (Y/N)â and âÂżQuieres ser mi amigo?â He told me my pronunciation could be better,â she laughed as she recounted the memory. âWe promised to help each other that day. Iâd teach him English, and heâd teach me Spanish. We became inseparable after that, and people stopped being assholes toward him.â
âYeah, kids are the worst.â
âHey, you have a kid.â
âEh, heâs the exception,â he shrugged with a chuckle. âSeems like he was a good teacher.â
âHe was,â (Y/N) smiled. âEveryone around him just expected him to learn English to fit in. No one even considered learning Spanish instead. They spat all kinds of bullshit toward him like his island wasnât even a part of the US. It honestly pissed me off completely, and once or twice, I got into some altercations with other students about it.â
â(Y/N) Marks, you were a fighter?â
âDonât get too excited,â she chuckled, slapping his chest softly. âI only ever got into two physical fights. The others, I just made them feel inferior intellectually. But it seemed to do the trick. And then we dated all through middle school and high school. And I also continued studying Spanish in college because I was already good at it. Language brought us together, and it was the thing that helped us become close.â
âAnd where is this AdriĂĄn, now?â Rio questioned, jealousy laced into his words. âStill very close to him?â
âHeâs in California, married, and just welcomed a beautiful baby girl,â she grinned at his obvious envy. âWe talk often. Every few months or so. But weâre obviously not as close as we used to be. And weâre definitely not interested in each other in the way we used to be. So, you donât have to be jealous.â
âI ainât jealous,â he scoffed jokingly.
âSure,â (Y/N) chuckled. âThere are still so many things you donât know about me, Chris. And many things I donât know about you. So, please. Letâs not ruin this before it even had a chance to be anything at all.â
âAâight, fine,â he sighed in defeat as he raised a hand to caress her cheek. âSo, we good? We straight?â
âWell, not just yet,â she grinned. âIâll forgive you if you order food from Guilleâs food truck.â
âI think I can manage that,â Rio smiled before kissing her lips. âIâll even get you a double order for doing such a good job tonight.â
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Bound | Chapter 4
Word Count: 4.9K
Warnings: implied/referenced SA, trauma, trauma responses, mentions of death, torture, mentions of DV
Summary: Rosalie always carried the resentment of not being able to fulfill the image of the perfect family she had in her head. But the universe had set out to grant her everything she could've hoped for in the most unconventional way and in the form of a witch. Can their love withstand the promise of forever or will Rosalie and (Y/N) succumb to the grapples of time?
A/N: So, I noticed that the time span of Rosalie's kills take around a year according to Midnight Sun (which I have yet to read) which is why the timeline won't match up very well, but I think it still works... maybe... hopefully. Sorry it took so long to update this story, I honestly did not have time to keep writing it for a bit. This was meant to come out yesterday but I fell asleep đ«Łđ«Ł
Also, to any and all survivors of SA that you are not alone and what happened to you is not your fault, it never will be. I hope you have healed or are healing. And if you ever just need an ear to listen, I am here. đ€
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Three months had passed since the night that changed Rosalieâs life for eternity, and the Hubert brothers had been found dead. Two, since Ulysses Levitt ran out of town with a girl his family would have never approved, and the body of John Harris was found in his hotel room, asphyxiated and with a broken neck.Â
Word had spread through the town of a killer that was taking the lives of prominent young figures. They had ransacked through two families already, and it was rumored they had taken the Levitt son hostage, regardless of the letter left. It made families hold their young ones closer to them, hypervigilant of their every move. No one wanted their child to be next. No one wanted to weep for their child. Not even for them to go missing.Â
Because none of them knew that they had nothing to worry about.Â
Well, other than the King family. The royal family of Rochester, New York, would suffer a great loss that night at the hands of who would have been their greatest acquisition. She would take his life into her hands the way he had done with hers. He would clamor for mercy, beg for forgiveness, plead for another chance. And she would laugh in his face.Â
There werenât many places Royce could hide in that Rosalie would not have found him. He could have hidden a thousand feet underground, and she would have carved at the ground with her own hands until she got to him. He would not get away from her without paying for what he had done. She was judge, jury, and executioner, and she would make sure his sentence was fulfilled.Â
In the Cullen residence, the other three vampires walked on eggshells around Rosalie. The anger that radiated from the girl was hot enough that any closeness could leave them burned. Even if their words and worries came from a place of concern âat least from Carlisle and Esmeâ she did not want to hear them. All she had time for was her revenge. There was nothing else she had to look forward to.Â
She didnât want to be angry. It was an all-consuming emotion that she did not wish to impart on the family that had ârescuedâ her.
âGood morning, Rosalie,â Esme called the girlâs attention as she readied herself for the day. âHow are you feeling today?â
âAs well as I can be while my rapistâs heart still beats,â she shrugged, brushing the golden curls in her hair. âApart from that, I guess not worse than I felt yesterday.â
âThatâs good, I think,â the woman offered a smile. âHopefully tomorrow is better.âÂ
âOh, it will be. Once Royce gets whatâs coming for him, the universe will balance itself out. After that⊠well, weâll see when we get there.âÂ
Esme remained quiet for a moment, weighing whether or not her words were welcomed in the blondeâs space. The last thing the woman wanted was to make something snap inside the girl. She was already fragile as it was, even if she wouldnât allow herself to be, and Esme didnât want to be the drop of water that made her cup overflow. âMay I offer you some words?â she asked against her better judgment.
âIf youâre trying to get me to see how wrong it is to take a life, please save your breath,â she responded, holding in her laughter at the irony of her sentence. âCarlisle and Edward have tried, and I can tell you there is nothing you can say that will make me desist from my plan.âÂ
âWell,â Esme sighed with a smile on her face. âThen, can I tell you about my story? I canât say that I lived through the horrors of what you did, but I did have my own monster.â The blonde simply nodded in approval, her attention fully on the woman before her. âI didnât envision my life turning out this way, much like you. When I was younger, I dreamed of being a school teacher. I wanted to mold the minds of my students and help them navigate this crazy world. But my parents wanted me to be the perfect wife. They wanted me to stay home and marry. And I did. I thought then that my life would be better. Thatâs what my parents had promised, so thatâs what I believed.Â
âYet, the man that I married became the monster in the fairytale my parents had designed. He was abusive. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. He made me feel like I had no escape. And my parents perpetuated that behavior. They told me to keep it quiet. That no one in town would ever believe that he could do anything like that,â the woman continued. Rosalie could tell how difficult it was to tell her story. She could see the fear flashing in her eyes and the tremble in her hands as she felt the ghosts of her past creeping up her neck. And she wondered if that was the way she would look. Regardless of her impenetrable body, anyone would be able to see the pain plastered on her face. âThere was some solace when the Great War passed. He was drafted, and I had months of peace. I learned that you donât know how deep in the chaos you have gotten until you see a way out. Deep down, I hoped he never returned. It was easier to be a widow than to live the rest of my life in fear.
âBut, much to my dismay, he came back once the war had ended. I knew my sentence was until death did us part. Until I became pregnant a few months after his return, and there was a new life to fight for,â Esme said. âI ran as far as I could. I needed to protect my baby, and I couldnât do that if I was dead. He found me the first time, though. So, I ran again. For some time, I even became a teacher. For the first time in so many years, I was happy. I had fulfilled my childhood dream, and I was building my own family. But all of that ended when my baby died only two days after being born. I had changed my entire life for my son, and he had been ripped away from me in just 48 hours. With him gone, I had nothing left to live for. And well, after all that, Carlisle changed me.Â
âI will say that I assimilated to this life quickly. It was easy when the alternative had been so horrendous for me. But, the reason Iâm telling you this is not because I just wanted you to hear my sorrowful story,â she chuckled softly. âA couple of years after I was changed, Edward grew rebellious. We didnât have a bad life, much less a bad relationship. But he was only a year younger than you are when he was turned, and he was growing angsty with our way of life, especially our diet. He went on a rampage, finding the worst of the worst among humans using his ability. He only returned to us two years ago. But he told me who his first victim had been. It had been my ex-husband. He told me how he made sure he suffered, that he yelled for mercy, and pleaded to God to save him.
âIt should have made me feel better that he was gone. That he couldnât hurt anyone any longer, for the world had to be a better place without another monster walking in its midst. I did feel relief for a second that he could not get to anyone else, but it didnât really matter. He had still hurt me, and his being dead didnât change that. All I could do was try and move past it. Not forgetting what he did to me, but learning to live with it,â she explained. Esme approached Rosalie, taking her hands in hers and staring deeply into the red eyes before her. âKilling Royce wonât stop the hurt from taking over your heart, Rosalie, just as I know that killing those other four men hasnât satiated the ire inside you.â Â
âEven if it wonât fix what they tore inside me, I can make sure it doesnât happen to any other woman. At least, the ones that would have fallen victim to them if they werenât dead,â Rosalie said through gritted teeth. There were no tears to hold back, as much as she wanted them. She wanted them to make her eyes burn with anticipation, and she couldnât almost remember that feeling and trick herself that it was happening. But the stream never came. âI cannot let him walk free on this earth after seeing just how well he can hide the kind of monster he is. If he was going to marry me and he did what he did, I donât want to imagine what he would do to a woman he doesnât even know. Iâm not doing this to heal anything inside me or because I am seeking inner peace. I am doing this so they can never do this again.â
 Esme knew there was nothing she could say that would deter Rosalie from finishing her plan. Instead of drowning with more words, she simply smiled and told her she understood. Before leaving the girl be, she turned and said, âYou should take a stroll through the garden. This summer the nightshade has sprouted beautifully.âÂ
Rosalie stared at herself in the mirror, and the vision that stared back at her startled her. Dressed in a strikingly white dress that was as close as possible to the one she had picked out with her mother was unsettling. Much more knowing that to that day, she should have been already three months married⊠or three months dead.Â
But she was neither.Â
No. Her blood-red eyes reminded her that she was not married and she was stuck in a land that was not quite living but not quite dead. She was stuck as she was in a world that was no longer hers for the taking. Still, if there was one thing that was still hers, it was the ability to taste Royceâs death already.Â
She had found his hideout rather quickly. He had trapped himself in the basement of an abandoned bank building that was still under his familyâs possession. Little did he know that in his hiding, he had given her the perfect place to rid the world of the monster he was. His soul would forever be trapped somewhere that perfectly represented him âcold, dark, and made just for money.Â
Everything was already going to plan. The crate of whiskey had been delivered on time and sent directly into the vault with food and other necessities. All she needed to do was wait it out for an hour. Sixty minutes to allow the paranoia to set in, for the hallucinations to fester, for all the pain and discomfort to rip its way across his body. She would allow the little plant to set her stage because she would be the main act that day.Â
Rosalie waited until she could not wait any longer. Until she knew his mind would have started its descent into madness. She wanted him to be trembling in his skin before she made her grand entrance.Â
From the bank's main lobby, she could hear Royceâs racing heart, his breathing heave, and his frantic steps. It would have been the most intoxicating song had her heart not been filled with dark hatred. His suffering meant nothing to her until it was her own hands inflicting the pain. She had to get into that room sooner rather than later.Â
Though Royce was her main target, she needed to get past the two men that guarded the vault door. Innocent souls that had to be reaped because of the sins of a monster. Her parents had taught her the just paid for the guilty. And in matters of love and war, all was fair. That afternoon, two souls would join the five that had shredded her own. She would grant them a quick and painless death, and go on with the rest of the plan.Â
And so, she snapped the menâs necks and laid them on the floor. She closed their eyes and prayed to whatever higher power that was out there to forgive their trespasses, granting them safe passage into the afterlife. There wasnât much she believed in anymore, but she needed to believe that at least the innocent made their way to something better.Â
With those men out of the way, Rosalie could finally accomplish what she had to do. Itâs showtime, she told herself. No turning back now.Â
The door wasnât locked, only put together to give Royce the semblance of security. Not that it would have mattered. Supernatural strength and speed allowed it not to matter. Without even knowing it, Royce had written his death sentence the second he had left her for dead.Â
âNo. No. No. No,â she heard him mutter. âItâs not my fault. Itâs not. I didnât do it.âÂ
Delirium. Truly perfect.Â
âHoney,â she smiled as she burst through the door, making the entire building tremble under her strength. âIâm home.âÂ
âNo, God, please,â Royce cried as he cowered in a corner, his eyes growing as big as saucers at the vision before him. Locked inside that room, he had felt he had started to go crazy. Hidden in the shadows lived the person that had haunted his friends and was haunting him now. He knew whoever it had been was bidding his time, waiting for the right moment to strike. What he had not expected was to see her. âHow are you here? How are you showing her to me?âÂ
âI am not a mirage, dear Royce,â Rosalie said, smoothing down her gown. It dragged behind her as she walked, the sound of the fabric swishing on the ground mixing beautifully with the sound of his racing heart. âI am actually here. Standing before you as I would have months ago.âÂ
âBut you died⊠I mean, you had to have died.âÂ
âOh, I did,â Rosalie sighed. She crossed the room elegantly, taking in how it had been transformed. An elegant bed was pressed against one of the walls, the sheets perfectly done as though no one had ever dared sleep on them. Truly, the entire place had been decorated to portray a luxury suite, like the ones in the many hotels the King family frequented. Beautiful and expensive. Much like the armchair she sat on to face the man directly. âYou see, I stand before you today completely dead. Well⊠technically undead. Iâm living, but Iâm not alive, Royce. Iâm what you might call a vampire now.â
âThatâs not⊠no. Thatâs not possible!â Royce exclaimed, trembling. The bottle he held in his hands spilled with every shake of his limbs, soaking his shirt. âYouâre a ghost. The same one thatâs been haunting me for months.â
âI know you wish that were true, Royce. Because maybe then I wouldnât be able to hurt you.â
âHurt me?â he said as he cowered deeper into the corner of the room. âWhy would you hurt me?âÂ
âOh, Royce. I knew you werenât the sharpest tool in the shed, but I didnât think youâd be this cretinous,â she scoffed. âDo you really think Iâm here just to say goodbye? Darling, Iâm here to do so much worse. Iâve already started, actually.âÂ
âW-what do you mean?â
âWell, Iâm sure you can feel the way your heart is racing, how your skin has gotten clammy, and how your brain is all delirious. That was a little gift from me,â she grinned devilishly, examining the perfection of her cuticles. âI know how you canât resist a glass of whiskey no matter the time of day, and I knew you had a few scheduled shipments of bottles. So, with the help of a beautiful blue flower and absentminded delivery boys, I was able to slip some deadly nightshade into those bottles. Hence, the reaction from your body and your delusions.âÂ
âYou poisoned me? How could you, Rosalie? I donât deserve this.âÂ
  âOh no, you donât get to speak my name,â Rosalie spat. In a matter of a second, she had killed any distance between them âMy name is the only thing you will never have possession of. Not anymore. And to think you have the audacity to question what you deserve.â
âBut I donât, R⊠I donât deserve this,â he cried as the girl balled his shirt in her hands. âI made one mistake.âÂ
âWhat you and your friends did was no mistake, Royce. It was a deliberate and brutal robbery of my innocence, of my life. It was a testament to your true character and the monster that lay beneath sheepâs clothing,â she seethed. âThe worst part of it all is that I would have lived with your sins had you simply given me the life I had dreamed of. I would have let you drink until your belly was full of nothing but liquor and beer. I would have let you cheat as long as you came home to me. I would have let you take everything as long as I had my children to care for. And what a waste of a life that would have been.âÂ
Fat tears fell from the manâs eyes, connecting with the slobber of boogers that escaped his nose, and it disgusted Rosalie to be so close to him. But it was the dangerously fast pace of his heart that thrilled her. It was the perspiration on his skin that edged her on. It was the unnatural dilation of his pupils that made her want to dance in victory.Â
She knew he was in pain. She knew that his body wanted nothing more than to reject the poison of the deadly nightshade, but it would never be able to. Not while she was there, witnessing the demise of the worst kind of monster.Â
Royce pleaded under his breath, trying to appeal to the human side of Rosalie without understanding that the part he was begging to had died that night. The humanity left inside her dwindled as she stared at the pitiful man. She couldnât imagine a world where she had ended up with him. At least, for that, she was grateful.Â
âYouâll never find love,â Royce suddenly spat, a sudden rage boiling inside him, giving him enough energy to yell at her. âNot as the abomination that you are.â
âAnd what is that, Royce?â She said through gritted teeth. âBecause the person I thought I loved was you.â
âYou know exactly what Iâm talking about,â he barked. âDonât think I donât know about your inclinations. I saw you with my own eyes.âÂ
âWhatever you think you might have seen will go with you in death. At least youâll have that memory then to keep you company.âÂ
âThe title of murderer is less vile than the other name. Youâre lucky I took pity on you and showed you what you were missing out on.â
âPity? You took pity on me?â Rosalie took hold of his shirt, lifting him from the ground as though he weighed no more than a dress. âYou destroyed me. You defiled me. You took my life. Whatever it is that you think you may know about me did not give you the right to do any of that.â
âI saved you first from a lifetime of embarrassment,â Royce choked, his voice trembling as fear overtook him. âYour lifestyle would have gotten you killed regardless.â
âThe only lifestyle that killed me was the one where I chose you,â she spat. âYou did this to me, Royce. And now you have to pay.â
She let him drop to the ground to cower into the corner. One second, the man was back to crying and begging. The next, he was clutching at his chest and groaning in pain. âPlease stop this,â he groaned. His heart had started running at a desperate pace, trying its best to pump blood to his body. But his arteries were contracting as the seconds passed, and his body would start shutting down soon after. âI know you can. Just please, I promise Iâll be better. Just give me a chance.â
âYou had a chance, Royce. This life. This was your chance, and you wasted it. You decided to use your one chance to be a despicable man âdriven by your greediness and your ego. You could have led a long and beautiful life, but you werenât satisfied. You wanted more and more until there was nothing left to take. Now, you wonât take anything from anyone else.âÂ
âPlease,â he sobbed, but his words came out slurred as the poison kept rushing through his bloodstream. A rash had started peeking through his clothes, burning it way through his skin. He couldnât choose between scratching at the patches or clutching at his chest, his entire body quickly starting to betray him. âI donât wanna die.â
âFunny,â she laughed. âI didnât either.â
Royce didnât take long to deteriorate. His body was already weak from a diet of fear and whiskeyâand the lethal amount of nightshade that she had injected in the bottles. He had gravitated onto his bed, barely hanging on to the little life that was left in him. His lungs wheezed and his skin reddened, his limbs spasmed and his lips trembled, and his eyes never left hers.Â
And she stared back.Â
âSoon enough, you will stop breathing,â she sighed. âIâm sure you can barely feel your arms and your legs. Just like I know youâre trying your hardest to take in a single breath. Isnât it terrifying? To lay there and feel your life slipping through your fingers, all because someone else decided that you werenât worthy of your own life.âÂ
âP⊠ple⊠please,â he managed to croak out. Tears stained his face, mixing with the sweat on his skin. âH-h-help⊠m-me.âÂ
âItâs too late, Royce,â she smiled deviously. âDonât you get it by now? You are dying today. You will lay there and suffer and beg. And then, you will die. Not because itâs justice for what you did to me. But because no one else in this Earth will ever have to meet a monster like you. And I will stay and watch until you take your last breath.â
And so, he begged. Royce begged until the lack of oxygen forced his eyes shut.Â
And Rosalie watched. She watched until he took his last, wheezing breath.Â
Once she could not hear his heart beating anymore, she spared him one last close-up glance. She stood over him and looked over his corpse, wondering who it would be that would find his body. What would they think happened? The easiest explanation would be a heart attack, but the bodies in front of the vault would paint a different story. It wasnât because she was worried sheâd be caught âthere was no way she ever would beâ but rather because she wondered what plot would be spun to glorify Royceâs life and condemn his killer. And she was absolutely certain they would never believe a woman had been the one to kill him, let alone the other six men.Â
âRot in hell, Royce,â Rosalie whispered against his ear. âSay hi to your friends for me.âÂ
The girl thought she had merely spent an hour or two inside the bank, but as she slipped back into the alley, she noticed that the morning had come and gone, and the moon had started to peek its way out on the horizon. She quickly changed out of the wedding dress, ripping it from her skin as if it was suffocating her. Her lungs ached for a breath they didnât need as something deep inside her snapped. It seemed that Esme had been right. Killing Royce didnât make her feel better, but it had satiated her conscience. He could not hurt anyone else.Â
Rosalie placed a hat on her head to conceal her face as she walked through the barely crowded streets of her home. Whispers on the street spoke of the demented killer that had taken the lives of four young men. Even if it had been a while since he had killed, everyone knew he was still out there. She had expected that much. The fear of the unknown was enough to rattle an entire town, and after Royce, it would be the only topic on everyoneâs tongues for a long time.Â
What she had not expected was to come face to face with a picture of herself.Â
Taped to a lamp post was her last photograph taken with the words MISSING in bold on top of it. Under, a brief description of who she had been was printed, her family calling for any information regarding the whereabouts of their daughter. But that didnât strike her as odd. She knew her family would be worriedâhad been worried for months.Â
No. It was the small message posted under her familyâs plea that made her stop in her tracks, a sudden wave of sadness numbing her limbs. She ran her pale fingers over the withered paper as though she could hear the voice if she touched the words.Â
Please help bring our Rosie home, the message read. There are people here who love her more than sunflowers love the sun.Â
There was no need for a signature for Rosalie to know exactly whoâd had that message printed. She ripped the message from the page, folding it into the bag she had buried the wedding dress in, careful not to wrinkle the paper.Â
Her heart wrenched inside her chest as she remembered the last time she had seen this person. The last time she ever would.
Only a week before her wedding, Vera had told her how much she wished Rosalie a long and happy life. As the blonde carried Henry in her arms, her friend placed a soft hand into hers, squeezing comfortingly as she smiled.Â
âYou deserve happiness, Rosie,â she had said that afternoon. âI just wishâŠâ
âThereâs no point in wishing,â Rosalie sighed, her eyes transfixed by the baby in her arms. She had been afraid to look Vera in the eyes âthe beautiful gemstone eyes she had adored. âYou have your family. And Iâm on track to have mine. It is all we ever dreamed of.âÂ
âBut it was supposed to look like this,â Vera had sighed. âNot quite like how it really is.âÂ
âWe knew from the start that it would end this way, V. This is just the world we live in. At least this way, we can still be in each otherâs lives.âÂ
âEven with all your high-class parties and important people to attend?â she had joked. âYou really think youâll have time for me.âÂ
âAlways,â Rosalie had smiled. âForever.â
âReally? You mean that?â
âDoes a sunflower love the sun?â
Now, she had all the time in the world. So much time it could never run out. But there was not a second more she would be able to spend with Vera or with Henry. Sheâd never again brush away the little boyâs dark curls as they fell in front of his eyes. Sheâd never again hear Vera calling her name as she laughed. Sheâd never have everything she wanted âanyone she wanted.Â
After what felt like a lifetime of staring at her own face, Rosalie straightened out her dress and made her way back to the Cullen residence as though nothing had happened. She cleared her mind of all thoughts about her best friend and walked inside, ready to shut herself in her room until it was time to feed.Â
âYou really did it, huh?â Edward taunted. âYou really went through with it.â
âPlease spare me the mocking tonight, Edward,â she said as she rolled her eyes. âMy patience is wearing quite thin, and thereâs no telling if I might snap. I have heard that us newborns have a tendency to be twitchy and rather strong.âÂ
âYouâre such aâŠâ
âThatâs quite enough, Edward,â Esme interjected before he could go any further. âLeave your judgment inside your head.â
Edward muttered a complaint as he disappeared into the backyard, acting as a teenager reprimanded by their mother. Which, in a sense, he was.Â
âThank you.â
âYou donât need to thank me, Rosalie,â the woman smiled. âI hope that whatever happened today and all those months before brought you some type of solace. I know it will never be enough, but I hope itâs a start.â
âI hope so, too.â Â
But she knew her heart would need much more mending than only a few deaths.Â
That night, she had pulled out the message from her bag alongside a picture she had managed to take with her of Vera and her in their class banquet. They had worn beautiful gowns and were smiling from ear to ear as they danced together. It was a memory she would carry for the rest of her life. But, then, she had laid in the bed she did not need, pressing the picture and the message close to her chest, and closed her eyes to pretend she could dream she was back there.
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Running in Circles | Chapter 9
Word Count:Â 3.6K
Summary:Â (Y/N) Rossi is following in her fatherâs footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss, and her fatherâs friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?
A/N:Â can't believe it's been over a year since I updated this story. It was one of the first I ever posted but quickly got disheartened by it as I tried to follow the show's timeline (which is non-existent, honestly). I'm trying to get through season 6 as fast as I can because I've already written chapters for afterward, but I need to tie it into the show. Honestly considered putting the story on hold but I got the chapter done đđ Also need to go back and edit this story, especially regarding the POV
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As if by divine intervention, (Y/N)âs phone started ringing. The vibrations matched the fluttering of her heart as she prayed that Hotch could have been thinking about her at that moment as well. Maybe then she could trick herself into believing that fate was playing its cards right.
âHey, baby girl.â
âDerek,â she sighed quietly, trying her best not to voice her disappointment. âWhatâs up? Everything okay?â
âYou mind some company for tonight? I got a bottle of whiskey with our names on it.â
âKnow what? After the day we just had, sure.â She looked down at the pan of lasagna and decided if she couldnât enjoy it with Hotch, sheâd enjoy it with a friend. âIâve got some lasagna going in the oven we can eat.â
âSounds perfect. Iâll see you in about fifteen minutes.â
After the phone clicked, she decided the most prudent thing would be to send Hotchner a text message thanking him for the food and saying sheâd update him on everything tomorrow. After everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, she needed a moment of calm and clarity. A moment with certainty rather than mixed signals and stolen glances. She just needed a moment to breathe.
As any evidence of the day shed from her skin in the shower, a loud knock rang through the house. She quickly stepped out of her bathroom and slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie before she ran down the stairs to be met with Derek already inside the kitchen, digging a fork into the piping hot lasagna, with Spencer staring at our friend as he ate like a maniac.
âYou know, if you let it cool down a bit, you can savor the taste,â Reid chuckled.
âI know,â he spoke with a full mouth. âBut I wanna get drunk tonight, and I wonât do it on an empty stomach.â
âThereâs some garlic bread in the toaster oven if you need something that will soak up the alcohol,â (Y/N) laughed as her two friends came into view in her kitchen. âAnd itâs good to see youâre putting those emergency keys to good use.â
âSorry, (Y/N),â Spencer responded quickly. âDerek said you wouldnât mind. We waited five minutes outside.â
âItâs fine, Reid. But you couldâve checked who was at the door.â
âWell, I didnât want to overstep,â he shrugged. âItâs not my house after all.â
âGood to know you have boundaries, Reid,â she chuckled. âNot that they stopped either of you from letting yourselves in.â
Derek only grumbled in response, too focused on serving the plates and stuffing his mouth. (Y/N) headed to the front door, unsure of who else could have decided to drop by. And though a part of her wanted it to be Hotchner, she knew better than to live in that delusion. He was back in his home with his son, while she had a house full of friends and him on her mind.
ââEm,â the woman smiled as she opened the door. âDerek invite you too?â
âAs a matter of fact, he did. But Iâm guessing he didnât tell you I was coming over.â
âIâm just glad you didnât use your emergency key as freely as those two boys.â
âWell, you did say we should feel at home,â Morgan grinned. âIâm just doing what you told me to.â
âFirst time you follow the rules, Morgan,â Emily teased. âAlthough Iâd rather you guys break into (Y/N)âs house than mine.â
âGeez, thanks, Em,â she chuckled. âYouâre lucky thereâs enough food and booze to go around. But donât go too crazy. We still have work tomorrow.â
âAs if youâd ever let us go hungry,â Emily laughed. âYour Italian blood would never let you.â
âAll I need to know is if thereâs anyone else that will show up out of the blue.â
âNot that I know of,â Derek shrugged. âNow open up that bottle, Iâm thirsty.â
By the time midnight rolled around, Emily and Derek had gone back home. They had eaten enough and drank enough the exhaustion was making their eyelids flutter. And all of them knew that the longer they stayed, the harder it would be to make it back to their homes. Only Spencer was left, curled up on the sofa, still nursing the same glass of whiskey from the start of the night. His eyes were squeezed shut, a hand over them blocking the overhead light.
âYou okay, Spence?â (Y/N) asked as she sat by his head, resting it gently onto her lap. She ran her fingers through his curls, massaging his scalp softly. âYou got a migraine?â
âSomething like that,â he sighed. âTheyâve been going on for a bit, but lately, theyâve been worse. The pain is unbelievable, and it makes me sensitive to everything around me.â
âHave you gone to a doctor? This could be something serious, Spence,â she worried. âI have a friend that might be able to squeeze you in. Sheâs a neurologist andâŠâ
âIâve got it handled, (Y/N),â he chuckled softly. âI made an appointment for later in the week. I just have to power through the remaining days with sunglasses and pills.â
As soon as he mentioned the pain, a question popped into (Y/N)âs head that she did not want to ask. It was composed of words that could only bring back horrors from his past and the mistakes he was still paying for to that day. The last thing she wanted was to resurface that horrible period, but she had to know. For his sake, she just had to.
âI havenât taken Dilaudid,â he said before she could speak. âIt hasnât even crossed my mind.â
âHow did youâŠ?â
âYou were thinking too loud,â he responded as he grinned slightly, his eyes still closed. âAnd youâre the only one that still asks.â
âIâm sorry, Spence. I donât mean to be so pushy, she sighed as she stared at the way her fingers ran through the brown of his hair. âIf you donât want time to ask, justâŠâ
âNo. Iâm grateful that you do.â His free hand searched for hers, squeezing it softly as he enjoyed the warmth of her skin. âI sometimes feel that the team goes out of their way to pretend that part of my life didnât happen or that it could never happen again. But it did, and it could. Still, I know I can always count on you to look after me, (Y/N). Even if Iâm a couple of years older than you, you always find a way to take care of me.â
âAnd I always will, Reid. Youâre a part of my family, and I take care of my family,â she responded softly. âDo you wanna stay here tonight? If itâs too bad, I donât want you driving out there in the dark.â
âHonestly? Yeah,â Spencer breathed. âI donât think I could make it home right now.â
âAlright, then. Why donât you head on up and take a shower while I prepare you some tea and get you a cold compress for your head?â (Y/N) instructed. âYou can take any of the sweats from the guest room, and Iâll fetch you some migraine pills so you can hopefully get some shut-eye tonight.â
âThanks, Rossi,â the man smiled, finally allowing his eyes to open, finding that she had dimmed all the lights. âDonât know what Iâd do without you.â
âAnd youâll never have to find out,â she smiled. âNow, go on upstairs, and Iâll get started on the tea.â
âFine,â he jokingly whined. âAnd can you not tell anyone else? I donât want them worrying about me.â
âI wonât. Just, please keep me updated.â
âCopy that.â
As he disappeared to the second floor, (Y/N) couldnât help but worry about her friend. Spencer had gone through things that were unimaginable. And though he came out of them with his life, they had slowly started to eat away at him. She knew firsthand just how debilitating anxiety could be to someoneâs body, and it concerned her that he was downplaying his symptoms.
She set her kettle to boil as she searched for her own mixture of sleepy-time teaâchamomile, lemongrass, peppermint, and lavender. From her cupboard, she pulled out the purple and blue mug Spencer had always used since he had claimed it was able to keep his tea warm enough to sip slowly. Because apparently it had always been a big concern of his. After placing the tea infuser into the mug, she drizzled a few circles of honey to the bottom and a sprinkle of cinnamon. And once the kettle beeped, she drowned the leaves and the honey in boiling water.
(Y/N) could hear the shower running upstairs as she let the tea seep into the water, and all she could do was worry. Granted, it was something she did every single day of her life. She worried about her father spending all his time in books and his work and not enough on his personal life. She worried about little Jack having to grow up without his mother and a dad who didnât quite believe he could do a good job as a father. She worried about Hotch, about what he did or didnât feel. She worried about the team every time they went out on a case. And most importantly, she worried about herself and how she would ever live up to the people around her. Now, she added Spencerâs migraines to the list. If she ever made it to old age without a heart attack, she would have been very surprised.
Walking up the stairs with the mug and the pills, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She balanced the mug on the flat handrail and pulled out the device to see Hotchnerâs name lighting up the screen. Her heart hammered against her chest, making her hands tremble with nerves. It was just a phone call., she told herself. He was probably only calling to thank her again.
âHotch,â she breathed, her voice croaking more than she intended. âHey.â
âSorry. Did I wake you?â
âNo!â she answered quickly. âI was just heading up the stairs. Is everything okay?â
âYeah, you donât need to worry,â he assured. âItâs just that Jack wanted to say goodnight and thank you.â
âIsnât it a bit late for him to be up?â (Y/N) smiled. âI mean, it is still a school night.â
âI caved,â Hotch chuckled. She could hear the exhaustion still present in his voice, and all she wanted to do was help him. It was all she could do. To him, sheâd always be just a friend, a coworker, his colleagueâs daughter. âPlease donât hold it against me.â
âI could never,â the woman laughed. âI would have probably caved too.â
âWell, then, Iâll put you on.â
(Y/N) heard scuffling from the receiver before Jackâs voice came through. âHi, (Y/N),â he said. âI wanted to say goodnight since we couldnât say goodbye to you. I had a lot of fun this weekend.â
âAw, buddy, Iâm glad,â she cooed. âI loved having you over. You know youâre welcome any time.â
âThank you, (Y/N)!â he beamed. âBut I gotta go to bed now. I have school tomorrow. So, goodnight!â
âGood night, Jack,â she responded. âNow, why donât you pass the phone back to your dad.â
âAlright. Bye bye!â
âBye, Jack,â she chuckled. âI think that kid should be heading off to bed now, Hotch.â
âHe is,â Hotchner answered. âI knew heâd want to after saying good night to you. I think my son likes you more than he likes me.â
âOh, thatâs nonsense, Hotch. He only likes that Iâm all fun. But he loves you. Donât ever doubt that.â
âThanks, (Y/N),â he chuckled softly. âIâve been saying that a lot lately.â
âEven when you donât have to,â the woman sighed contentedly. âNow, go on. You have to sleep too. Itâs not just Jack that is up past his bedtime.â
âVery funny, (Y/N). Good night.â
âNight, Hotch.â
(Y/N)âs chest wrenched as her heart accelerated, already wishing the days before could repeat themselves so she could wake and know that he was there. But there was no point in deluding herself. The man could not and would not ever see her as anything more than what she already was. Even their job would allow it. Nothing seemed to ever align for something between them to work.
She turned to the left once she reached the top of the stairs and headed to the guest room to leave the steaming mug for Spencer to find after his shower but found him already sitting on the bed drying his hair. âWas that Hotch on the phone?â She nodded in response. âYou didnât tell him about whatâs going on with me, right?â
âOf course not, Spence,â she said in a low tone as she set the mug on the nightstand. âItâs not my information to divulge. Unless it becomes life-threatening, I wonât say a thing without your permission.â
âCan I ask you something?â
âOf course,â she smiled, handing him the pills. âAnything.â
âWhat do you think these migraines could be?â The pain behind his eyes was more than visible, it was almost palpable. âI just⊠what if itâs something serious, (Y/N)?â
âSerious like what, Spence?â
âWhat if Iâm starting to lose my mind?â His voice was frail, trembling at the terrifying thought. âYou know, my momâŠâ
âDonât go there, Spencer. You canât go there,â the woman insisted. âWe wonât speculate until you have an answer from the doctor. So, Iâm begging you, donât go there.â
âI canât help it, (Y/N). Either thereâs something seriously physically wrong with me, or itâs all psychosomatic. Neither is a good option.â
âI know, Spence. I know. But letâs just not jump to conclusions yet. Not until youâve gone to the doctor, and we get some type of answer. Until then, I donât want you to think of the worst-case scenario. Itâs not gonna do you any good.â
âFine,â he sighed as his shoulders slumped forward. âCan I ask you something else? Something that is so off-topic youâll get whiplash.â
âGo ahead, Reid,â she chuckled softly.
âDo you still have feelings for Hotch?â
The question as innocent, no ill-will behind it. But it still made (Y/N)âs breath hitch in her throat. It had been a long time since any of the people they knew mentioned her less-than-secret infatuation with the unit chief, and it made her heart race like the first time he had confronted her about it. âYeah,â she muttered. âItâs not something thatâs going away any time soon.â
âHave you ever thought of dating someone else? It might help you get over him.â
âI might not be ready for that just yet,â she sighed. âI just canât seem to stop holding onto hope.â
âI understand. Love⊠itâs hard, huh?â
âItâs one thing we canât learn from all the books we read,â she smiled sadly. âBut thatâs enough talk. The pills should start to work soon, and you need to sleep.â
âThanks, (Y/N),â he smiled as he got under the covers. âThank you for caring.â
âYou donât need to thank me for that, Spence. Again, youâre family,â she grinned. âIâll see you in the morning, alright?â
âYeah. Good night.â
âGood night, Reid.â
The rest of the night, Spencerâs words floated in her head. She could open her dating pool and allow herself a little venture. Hotch wasnât waiting for her, nor had he shown a smidge of real interest in her. Holding onto him only hurt her in the long run, making it harder for anyone else who wanted to take the place he did not want. But she couldnât. Not now. Not just yet.
After a couple of days and a two-night case all the way in Miami, Spencer asked (Y/N) to accompany him to the doctor for the reading of his test results. He was jumpier than usual, his legs bouncing at a rapid speed as they waited for his name to be called. He figured with his fingers, picking at the skin on the corners until she placed her hand on top.
âYou wonât have any skin left for our next case,â she chuckled. âDonât start jumping to conclusions, Mr. Genius.â
âI canât help it,â he worried. âItâs all I can do. I canât just shut off my brain.â
âThen, tell me something. Something I might not know.â
âEasier said than done,â he snorted. âYou know almost as much as I do.â
âAh, you said almost as much. So, you believe there are things that you know that I donât.â
âOkay,â he chuckled. âDid you know that rubber bands last longer if theyâre kept in the fridge? The unusual, lightly cross-linked polymer structure of the rubber used to create them react to the cold differently to what people might expectâŠâ
âRight, the chains heat up when stretched, technically shortening them causing the rubber to contract and eventually snapping at the exothermic change,â she mused. âCooling them would allow for a bigger stretch and life longevity because the release of energy is slower. Nice fact.â
âSee, itâs not as fun with you,â he said with a soft chuckle. âThe team would have been asking why I would care about rubber bands. You? You go into a simple explanation of thermodynamics.â
âWell, I ask you for a fun fact. I never said I wouldnât analyze it.â
As Spencer was about to retort, a nurse came out to call his name, telling him the doctor would see him. He got up onto his feet, smoothing down his pants and taking a steadying breath. But he didnât seem to do more.
âDo you want me to go with you?â (Y/N) quickly offered.
She was met with a soft smile and a gentle nod before they both headed into the office where Spencerâs worst-case scenario unfolded. The doctor told him there was nothing he could see that was physically wrong with him, the scans and the lab work all came back negative. If there was something happening, it was most likely in his head.
Those were the news Spencer did not want. They terrified him, and he let the doctor know. In his own way. âItâs notâIâm not crazy.â
âCrazy? Dr. Reid, Iâm not sayingâŠâ
âI have headaches. I have intense sensitivity to light. Because thereâs something wrong with me,â he asserted, his words spilling out faster than he could hold them. âPhysically, not mentally. Itâs not that.â
âThat?â
âListen, doctor, my motherâs a paranoid schizophrenic whoâs been institutionalized. So I know very well what mental illness looks like,â Spencer continued. âMaybe even better than you, and itâs not that. Itâs not.â
âReid,â (Y/N) called as the man got up from the exam table and left the doctor with a shocked expression on his face. âI am so sorry, doctor. This topic is just⊠itâs a little hard for him.â
âThereâs not much you can do to help someone who doesnât want to accept their reality,â the doctor sighed softly. âCan you just see that he finds a way to manage his stress and his emotions? I truly believe this might be one of the biggest reasons for these headaches.â
âIâll try my best, doctor,â (Y/N) smiled. âThank you for seeing him.â
âNo problem.â
She found Spencer waiting for her in the hall, his sunglasses on his eyes and his arms crossed in front of his chest. They remained in silence until they reached her car, the doctorâs pout evident on his face. She knew he was annoyed she had apologized for his behavior, but she couldnât leave without at least giving a reason for his outburst.
âItâs not psychosomatic,â he stated. âIt just canât be.â
âSpence, we have one of the most stressful jobs on the planet. Day in and day out we see cases that astound even the most seasoned officers. And we get into the minds of the people that commit these atrocities,â she offered. âDonât you think there is a possibility that these migraines are your bodyâs way of telling you that you need to balance yourself out?â
âIf it was really the job like you say, all of us would be getting these headaches,â he said angrily. âBut I donât see Morgan or Prentiss doubling over because their brain feels like it wants to escape their skull.â
âEveryone is different, Spence. And I know you donât need me to tell you this. Stress presents itself differently in everyone. Just because we donât know how they handle their burdens doesnât mean they donât have them,â (Y/N) continued, maintaining the same calm tone as she cooled him down. âAll I am saying, Reid, is that it might be psychosomatic, and you need to find new ways to handle your stress because I am certain this is not you going crazy. Or it might be something else, and youâll need to get a second opinion. But regardless of what the outcome is, you canât just get angry at your doctor because you donât like your results, and Iâll be with you every step of the way. Weâll find you a way through this, okay?â
His stance finally softened at her words. His arms fell to his sides, and a soft smile tugged at his lips. âI was kind of an ass back there,â he chuckled. âItâs just frustrating and terrifying all the same time, and I donât know how to process it all.â
âWe take it one day at a time, Reid,â she smiled, taking a hand of his in hers. âYouâre not alone in this.â
âItâs sometimes hard to remember that youâre you get than me,â he snickered. âIâm pretty sure youâve babied everyone on the team at some point.â
âWhat can I say?â she laughed. âI just wanna make sure every single one of you is okay.â
And that was one thing she knew she would do for as long as they would let her. For now, her main concern was Spencerâs well-being. And she was grateful that it was enough to keep Hotchner out of her head.
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Hellooo!! :) I was wondering if you are still writing your criminal minds fic âRunning in Circlesâ
I absolutely am. Currently halfway done with the next chapter... after more than a year đ«Łđ«Ł
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