#andreafmn
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Kinktober ⛓️ Day 3
Word Count: 2.5K
Paring: Lip Gallagher x Fem!Reader
Prompt @kinktober2023: Hate Sex
WARNINGS: SMUT 18+ (minors DNI), p-in-v sex, foul language, reader is technically underage
Summary: There is no one that (Y/N) despises more than Philip Gallagher, but having his brother as her best friend forces them in close proximity more than they would like. Or maybe they do?
A/N: This is set some time during season 3 so Lip is around 18 and reader would be 17 since she's contemporary with Ian's age, so do with that what you will.
<- Previous
“Yo, Ian,” Lip’s voice rang through the house. “You’re girlfriend’s here!”
“Oh, fuck off, Lip,” (Y/N) said as she bumped past him into the Gallagher home. “I know you wish I was here to see you, but I don’t do charity work on Tuesdays.”
“Fuck you, (Y/L/N). You’d be lucky if I was the one you were studying with.”
“Of course, the genius Philip Gallagher that doesn’t even want to go to college,” she snickered, stopping at the rest on the stairs. “I’ll take my chances with my own brain. Thanks.”
“You’ll regret helping Ian with math,” he called as he walked to the front door. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
With an exasperated scoff, (Y/N) walked up the rest of the stairs, clutching her backpack tighter than she should have. She didn’t understand why she and the older Gallagher son didn’t get along. She had a wonderful relationship with everyone else in the family –even Frank was courteous enough with her– but something never clicked with Lip. Every time they were in close proximity, they would bicker and fight until someone else got in the way. It made it especially difficult when (Y/N) came over to spend time with Ian.
She would never say she hated Lip. But the sentiment was close enough that others would notice. Between the terrible side-eyes and the snide comments, being around the two could easily become suffocating. Granted, everyone but them knew what was truly happening. They had met their match in each other but were too stubborn to admit it.
“You ran into Lip, didn’t you?” Ian chuckled as his friend walked into his room. “It’s all over your face.”
“Unfortunately, I did,” she sighed, plopping down next to him on the floor. “But he seemed to be going somewhere, so I didn’t have to talk to him for much.”
“Just long enough to make sure you got annoyed. Perfect mood to study Geometry with you.”
“Fuck you, I’m always a delight.”
“Sure. Until you spend a second with Lip, and then everything goes to shit.”
“Shut up, Ian,” she said, rolling her eyes. “If you want me to help you study, you’ll stop talking about your despicable brother, Phillip.”
Hours passed between textbooks and worksheets, notebooks and loose papers, and somehow the bright afternoon sun had shifted into night. Ian had already gone to bed, tired from a long day of shapes and mathematical equations. Almost everyone in the house had done the same, tucked into bed early, which was a luxury for anyone on the South Side.
Meanwhile, (Y/N) was still wide awake, taking advantage of the tiredness of the family to use up what was left of the hot water. She could have gone home, to her packed house and probably cold water, but she found comfort staying with the Gallaghers. The family was a melting pot of chaos, there were more fights than a WWE ring, and every single day brought a different kind of adventure. Her house had all of that, except the real warmth of a family. And being there made her feel like she was a part of something.
The water ran across her skin, soothing the tight muscles that stiffened her body. The smell of soap filled her nose as she lathered herself, and she was glad that the bar seemed new still. They were small luxuries that she was grateful she could partake in every once in a while. And in the quiet of the night, it was almost peaceful.
Until a sound that did not fit into her spa-like scenario filled the air. From behind the curtain, she could hear a strong stream of liquid falling into the toilet. But she knew she had locked the door —not that it would have worked in that house anyway.
She moved the curtain slightly to reveal Lip standing in front of the toilet. “What the fuck are you doing?” (Y/N) exclaimed, making sure her body was covered. “Can’t you see I’m using the bathroom?”
“You’re in the shower. Toilet was up for grabs.”
“Why couldn’t you have gone downstairs?”
“Because I was already upstairs,” he shrugged, shaking his cock above the toilet as he finished. “Stop gawking, (Y/N). I know it’s impressive, but staring is kind of rude.”
“Fuck you, Lip. I’ve seen better,” she said, closing the curtain to conceal the way her skin was flushing. “I’ve definitely been with better.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” he snickered, turning on the sink. “But we both know the guys you’ve fucked are not exactly Adonises.”
“You’re such an asshole, Lip,” she scoffed. “If you’re gonna be here, at least pass me my towel.”
“Why should I? You can just step out.”
“You’re not seeing me naked, Lip.”
“It’s only fair,” he chuckled. “You saw mine, I get to see yours.”
“Stop being a perv, Lip. I’m not one of those chicks you fuck for fun. I actually have standards.”
“Right, and they’re so high, right?”
“They are.”
“Is that why you fucked Billy Spencer two months ago or lost your v-card with Jesse Suarez in his car? Yeah, those standards are skyscraping high.”
In a fit of rage, (Y/N) ripped the curtain open and sauntered out of the tub, getting as close to Lip as possible. “You don’t get to fucking judge my decisions, Philip,” she spat, jabbing her index finger against his chest. “Who I sleep with or don’t sleep with is none of your business. And you sure as hell are one to talk. Your list is not the most pristine, either. Starting with Karen, for example.”
“Don’t you fucking talk about her,” he said through gritted teeth, pushing back on her as she had. “You don’t talk about her.”
“What? You can dish it out but can’t fucking take it, huh?”
“I can take whatever you fucking throw at me, (Y/N). I ain’t scared of you.”
“Maybe you should be,” she continued. There was almost no space between them. She had him pressed against the wall, their noses almost touching as they heaved in anger. “There is no one else that can put you in your place like I can, and you know it.”
“I don’t need you to put me in my place.”
“Are you sure?”
“You’re so fucking infuriating!”
“Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?”
Lip’s next move was a surprise to her. She was expecting him to keep yelling or stomp out of the bathroom. Instead, he placed a hand on either side of her face and crashed his lips onto hers. He was all kinds of rough and forceful, clashing teeth and lips together without any care. But somehow, (Y/N) found herself kissing back just as roughly, grabbing onto the lapel of his jacket.
But it wasn’t until she felt the roughness of his hands on the skin of her back that she realized she had jumped out of the shower, naked and still dripping with water. She jumped away from Lip as though his touch was fire and scrambled for her towel, trying her best to cover her body from him.
“Why are you covering yourself now?” he laughed. “I already saw everything, (Y/N).”
“Fuck you, Philip.”
“I was gonna let you,” he grinned. “But it looks like you got performance anxiety. Maybe you’re not as good as guys say.”
“Not that it’s any of your concern, but I’m great in bed,” she argued. “But I would rather do it with someone I actually like.”
“It’s just sex, (Y/N),” he countered. “This is not to fall in love.”
(Y/N) kept quiet for a beat, thinking over the boy’s request. His reputation for being a good lay preceded him, and she would have been lying if she said she had never thought about it. But the fact that his personality was almost revolting made her wonder if it was worth it.
“God, you’re so fucking infuriating,” she said before doing the same thing he had done. “This means nothing. You’re just convenient.”
“Right,” he chuckled against her mouth. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“Oh, shut up already.”
“Make me.”
Her lips did all the answering, molding to his mouth perfectly, their tongues dancing together in perfect symphony. If she had believed in fate and the alignment of the universe, she would have deluded herself into thinking that they were meant to be.
Lip’s clothes were rough against her unclothed skin, the zippers and the fabrics scratching at her body and rubbing the most sensitive parts of her body that were exposed. Warmth pooled between her legs with the kiss alone, and her body’s reaction scared her. It was almost instantaneous, and it had been the first time it had happened.
“It’s not fair that I’m the only one that’s naked,” she said breathlessly.
“Do you ever stop fucking talking?”
“Not when my mouth’s unoccupied,” she snickered. “And I have a lot to say.”
“You’re too fucking much,” he grumbled as he took off layer after layer of clothing, letting them fall to the floor. “Now come here.”
He kissed her roughly again, pressing his chest as close to her body as he could, his hands snaking to the small of her back. As their mouth moved in synch, they walked backward until her back was pressed against the wall, the coldness making her skin erupt in goosebumps. But his hands were enough to build a fire inside her. The way they mapped every inch of her body and worked in tandem with his mouth to find her most sensitive spots.
Lip nipped at her jaw and her neck, traveling down to her collarbone as his hands tweaked the hardened peaks of her breasts. Somehow, he was able to annoy her within an inch of raging ire and could bring her to the brink of orgasm with just his mouth and hands.
In a swift move, Lip turned (Y/N), bending her against the wall as he pulled the zipper of his pants down. The clothes pooled at his ankles as he held his cock and lined himself up with her wetness, running the head across her fold and teasing her clit.
“For someone that is just doing this out of convenience, you’re really wet,” he chuckled darkly. “Have you been dreaming about this?”
“I could ask the same of you, Philip,” she retorted. “Because for someone that doesn’t really care, you’re really fucking hard.”
“I’m only just a man, (Y/N).”
“How about you shut up and prove it already, then? Maybe…”
(Y/N)’s words died in her throat as she felt him sink into her completely, stretching her walls like no one had done before. He took the air out of her lungs, a moan getting strangled in her throat at the suddenness.
Lip didn’t move instantly, allowing her body to get used to the size. At least, that was what he would have said if she had asked. Truthfully, being inside her was the most overwhelming experience he had ever had. He needed a moment to compose himself before he busted too early. The last thing he needed was for (Y/N) to have more ammo against him. He enjoyed their bickering reparté, but he had quite the reputation when it came to sex, and he wouldn’t let her ruin it. Even if his body was trying to betray him.
Once he felt he could control himself, he started moving hips, quickly setting a pace that had (Y/N) letting out a string of moans that he wanted to listen to for the rest of his life. Her hands gripped the towel bar before her, her knuckles turning white from the tightness. She met his every move, pushing against him as he pummeled into her.
“Harder,” she meweled. “Fuck me harder, Philip.”
Lip did exactly as told. Skin met skin at a rapid pace, filling the otherwise quiet room with pants, moans, and slaps. Even her using his full name did not put a damper on his mood, rather loved the way it sounded in her mouth. And for the first time, it didn’t sound like she was saying it with hate. At least, not completely.
He snaked his hand around her body, his hand finding the mound of her clit and pressing two fingers on it. They circled and rolled the bud, making her walls clench around him as he pistoned into her. He knew both of them were reaching their end. The tightening of her cunt and the tightening of his balls told him enough.
“Fuck, don’t stop, Lip. Don’t you dare fucking stop.”
“I wasn’t planning to.”
And he didn’t. He kept thrusting until (Y/N) let out a pleasurable yell that had him covering her mouth. As he did, she bit down on his skin unconsciously, making him moan and awakening something in him he didn’t know was dormant. It brought him right to the brink of his end, and it took everything in him to leave her warmth and explode all over her ass.
His body slumped over hers, absentmindedly kissing the skin of her shoulder as they both came down from their orgasm. They felt comfortable in their silence, their pants synching and their bodies melting against each other. If they could have, they would have fallen asleep in that very position.
But a knock on the door startled them apart.
“Yo, I need the bathroom,” Carl called from the other side of the door. “I’ve gotta piss real bad.”
“Can you go downstairs, Carl?” (Y/N) asked. “I’m just finishing up in the shower.”
“Ugh, fine! Just hurry up. There’s more people in this house, you know?”
“Yeah, sorry!”
After wiping themselves down, Lip and (Y/N) started getting dressed, neither meeting each other’s gaze. “We don’t speak about this to anyone,” she finally said. “Especially not Ian. And this can’t happen ever again.”
“Sure,” he mumbled. “Whatever you say.”
“I’m serious, Philip,” she pleaded, placing a hand on his chest to get his attention. “If Ian finds out, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“I won’t say anything,” he laughed, looking at her in a way he never had before. “But I wouldn’t mind if this happened again.”
“Are you serious?”
“What? The rumors are true. You are a good lay.”
“You’re not too bad yourself, Mr. Gallagher,” she grinned before stopping at the door to exit first. “But I don’t think this will happen again.”
“Keep telling yourself that, (Y/N).”
“Fuck off, Philip,” she whispered from the end of the hall before disappearing into the boys’ bedroom, leaving Lip to think of just how he could make this a repeat situation.
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#andreafmn#not to fall in love#lip gallagher#lip gallagher imagine#lip gallagher smut#shameless#shameless imagine#shameless us#shameless smut#kinktober#kinktober 2023#hate sex#fanfiction#fan fiction#writing#idiots in love#idiots in denial#ian gallagher#carl gallagher#frank gallagher#the gallaghers
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hi! i am desperately searching for christmas bucky barnes fanfics because it does NOT feel like the holidays and i'm in need of some holiday spirit :) if you don't celebrate christmas though no worries at all, i don't want to be a bother!
Christmas
masterlist | req masterlist
In my country we don’t celebrate Christmas like America, so I’ve always wanted to do christmas activities. (I live in Korea) It was so much fun reading these holiday fics🎄✨
btw i’m visiting New York for the first time soon!! I hope some of the christmassy stuff is still there till February…
Secret Santa by @buckybarnesandmarvel
the team decides to do a secret santa... of course you get the one person you’re in love with
White Christmas by @writerlyhabits
The Holiday season catches Bucky by surprise, but after a less-than-ideal morning, a friendly invitation from his new neighbor is more tempting than he would have anticipated.
Christmas Bucky by @softlybarnes
bucky realizes you aren't in your usual festive mood.
An Unusual Christmas by @petersshirts
You plan on flying home for Christmas but when the flight gets cancelled, you need to seek shelter at the one Avenger you can’t stand
Operation Mistletoe by @wkemeup
With dozens of mistletoe appearing in archways across the compound, you start to notice a pattern when you begin to encounter Bucky Barnes beneath each one
The Worst Time of the Year by @delaber (series)
According to Bucky, Christmas is the worst time of the year. He hates everything about it - well everything apart from one thing: you.
won’t ask for much this christmas by @bonky-n-steeb
You get stuck in Christmas lights and Bucky fucks you.
The Quest for Love by @sgtjbuccky (series)
Work has always been a priority for Bucky, leaving things like love long forgotten, and for him it’s no problem, but for Sam and Steve it is the biggest problem to grace this earth. Fed up with Bucky and his constants protest and avoidance of love, they set him up on a series of dates to find the girl of his dreams with the help of the magical spirit of December. Only for Bucky to realize that love isn’t always found where one goes looking for it, but may be close by.
christmas eve by @buckybleu
It's the night before Christmas and an ex-assassin is up wrapping Christmas presents for his family.
Christmas Shenanigans by @buckybarnesstar
mega fluffy bucky x reader where they go Christmas shopping
12 Days of Christmas by @sweetbuckybarnes (series)
12 days running up to Christmas, Bucky and Y/N come closer together.
‘Tis the Season by @moonbeambucky
With Christmas around the corner not everyone is excited to celebrate. Will your surprise bring back Bucky’s spirit or turn him into a Grinch?
Little Christmas Gifts by @iwillbeinmynest
The Holliday Hack by @gogolucky13
You ask Bucky to be your stand-in boyfriend for your family’s Christmas party.
Not-So-Secret Santa by @navybrat817
Bucky wants to give you the perfect gift.
The Perfect Tree by @andreafmn
After all is said and done, Christmas is (Y/N)'s favorite time of the year. She is known for going all out, from decorations to food, from silly traditions to happy memories. But one thing can never go wrong. She needs the perfect Christmas tree.
Merry Fuckin’ Christmas by @rookthorne (series)
No one ever, ever, turned down the opportunity to celebrate and party through the festive season over the years, but with your help, the 107th Motorcycle Club was going to learn that tradition was just as important as a loaded gun.
All Wrapped Up by @jobean12-blog
Bucky likes you...he’s shy...but he finally has a way to show it with a special gift.
Tis the damn season by @starrysebastians
On the first post-blip Thanksgiving, you find yourself having to reunite with your parents and your heart is not in it — Sam persuades you to take Bucky with you, and this might be an opportunity for you two to get to know each other.
Merry Christmas! <3
#bucky barnes fic rec#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes series#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky barnes christmas#bucky barnes holiday#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x gn!reader#bucky barnes modern au#bucky barnes fluff#biker!bucky#boyfriend!bucky
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Week of 12th February 2023
Her Royal Highness is pleased to share works read between 12th February 2023 and 18th February 2023.
Please contact us through this link with concerns of being taken off this list.
* signifies a theme present in the work for individuals 18 years of age or older
Total works: 25
——
[House of the Dragon, 100s]
>> Targaryen, Aemond
> DON’T TELL NOBODY by @spideymatcha
> don’t think about it, my love by @insxghtt
> Dragonless by @sansaorgana
> echos of your name inside my mind*; [one sided Aegon Targaryen x reader] by @spaceycowboys
> A Father’s Love by @drakoneve
> Flight by @ruby-dragon
> Milk* by @aemonds-war-crime
> The Other Woman*; [multi-part, on-going?; incest, Uncle!Aemond x Niece!reader] by @bichachonacho
> [1*], [2], [3*], [4*]
> A Rain of Fire*; [Lannister!reader] by @itsmeimtheproblemitsme
> When Pride Married Prejudice*; [multi-part, completed; Velaryon!reader] by @queers-gambit
> You’re his*; [sister!reader] by @squirmhoney
>> Targaryen, Daemon
> To the Lands of Old Valyria by @lillianastras
> A True Victory*; [Lannister!reader] by @syrma-sensei
[Game of Thrones, 300s]
>> Targaryen, Viserys
> Worries of an Arranged Marriage by @sj-thefan
[Harry Potter, 1990s]
>> Malfoy, Draco Lucius
> Hope by @siriusblackstwin
[MARVEL, 2010s]
>> Barnes, James Buchanan “Bucky”
> Choices*; [multi-part, completed; James Barnes x reader, Steve Rogers x reader] by @andreafmn
> [1], [2*], [3], [3, version II]
>> Rogers, Steven Grant “Steve”
> Choices*; [multi-part, completed; James Barnes x reader, Steve Rogers x reader] by @andreafmn
> [1], [2*], [3], [3, version II]
> Religion* by @lanadelreyscokewhor3
> Steve* by @assembletheimagines
[Suits, 2010s]
>> Specter, Harvey Reginald
> Not a Disaster After All by @band—psycho
[💚 Authors 💚]
*Below are authors Her Royal Highness has read in excess. She hopes you all visit and read through their works, new and old.
> @lovelybucky1
——
> If you wish to write a formal letter to Her Royal Highness, please do so here.
> If you wish to see Her Royal Highness’ completed list of works, please do so here.
> If you wish to see some of Her Royal Highness’ most frequently asked questions, please do so here.
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babe if the dilf jake brainworms got to you as badly as they got to me go read „in the heat of the moment“ by andreafmn both on ao3 and here
spoiler theres two endings both got me throbbing fr
i will be reading!!
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Swinging By
by andreafmn
Peter would never take being Spiderman for granted, but he couldn't deny the exhaustion that came with balancing his superhero life and being a teenager. One night, the sluggishness takes over him and he ends up in a bedroom that is not quite his. How would his downstairs neighbor react to the boy upstairs being a masked hero?
Words: 2521, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/M
Characters: Peter Parker, Reader, Female Reader - Character, Ned Leeds, May Parker (Spider-Man), Michelle Jones, Original Female Character(s)
Relationships: Peter Parker/Reader, Peter Parker/You, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker
Additional Tags: Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Exhaustion, Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Cute, Adorable, Adorable Peter Parker, Earth-199999 | Reality Designation 616 (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker Feels, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Idiots in Love, Dorks in Love, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Tumblr
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47855875
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The Perfect Tree
read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43621675
by andreafmn
After all is said and done, Christmas is (Y/N)'s favorite time of the year. She is known for going all out, from decorations to food, from silly traditions to happy memories. But one thing can never go wrong. She needs the perfect Christmas tree.
Words: 3313, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 1 of 12 Days of Ficmas
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/M
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Sarah Wilson (Marvel), Reader
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Additional Tags: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Bucky Barnes Feels, 12 Days of Christmas, 12 days of ficmas 2022, Established Relationship, Christmas Special
read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43621675
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Twists of Fate
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3zvw6bx
by andreafmn
Being a royal has its perks, but it comes with responsibilities (Y/N) and Thor had not expected. In the game of love, war, and kingdoms, fate tends to play tricks no one needs.
Words: 5278, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/M, Multi
Characters: Reader, Female Reader - Character, Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel), Odin (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja (Marvel), Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Thor (Marvel)/Reader
Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied Sexual Content, Eventual Smut, Eventual Relationships, Love Triangles, Arranged Marriage, Royalty
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3zvw6bx
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Ours | Derek Hale Oneshot
Word Count: 3.5K
Requested by @gracelynn318: "Derek or Stiles finding out that their significant other (the reader) is pregnant and they try to keep it secret for as long as possible"
Warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms (vomiting, nausea, fatigue)
Summary: Derek Hale and (Y/N) have been together for a long time, and they didn't know something was missing from their lives until it arrived unexpectedly. And all they want to do is revel in the moment for as long as they can, by themselves.
A/N: this story follows 0% of canon, just the character's names. will admit. I am a horrible Teen Wolf fan that has yet to see season 5 and 6, and I've also yet to watch the movie. So, definitely an AU 😬also, be on the lookout for tonight or tomorrow for another surprise regarding this request 😉����
Derek had noticed the change long before (Y/N) had. Long before she knew why she spent her days expelling her meals down the toilet drain, before she understood why her body craved more food than she could keep down, before she had even noticed that a month had passed and her period had not arrived.
It came late at night. The soft putter of a heartbeat that felt so far that it could have been confused with the sound of rain against the pavement. They had been lying in bed, the exhaustion of living in Beacon Hills the only thing they needed to crash at night. But the sound had been bothering Derek. The continuous rhythm didn’t allow the wolf to lose himself in much-needed slumber. The sound kept him up, especially from where it was coming from.
“(Y/N),” he whispered, running his hand up and down her arm to wake her. “(Y/N), baby, wake up.”
“Mm,” she groaned groggily, cuddling to his body tightly. “Go to sleep, Derek.”
“(Y/N), I gotta ask you something. Wake up.”
“We can talk in the morning,” she whined. “I’m tired right now.”
“It’s important,” he chuckled softly. “I need your complete focus.”
With a loud exhale, (Y/N) sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The sheet fell from her torso, and the coldness of the night made her skin erupt in goosebumps. She rarely got angry with Derek, but she was coming quite close at that very moment. “You better have a good reason to wake me, Der,” she said. “I’m so tired I might just put off killing you until tomorrow.”
“Listen, please,” he said. “When was the last time you got your period?”
“What?” the girl questioned. “You seriously just woke me up to ask about my cycle?”
“More or less. Just answer. Did you get it last month?”
It took her a moment to think. The grogginess of being woken up still clutched her mind, and recounting the past weeks was hard. But her body startled awake as she realized she had not gotten her shark week in a month and a half. That fact alone did not scare her. She had always been irregular, and in moments of stress, it was more likely than not that she skipped a cycle. The problem was that not only had she missed a period, she had been feeling sick for the past three weeks. And the math was not too hard to do.
“I-I didn’t,” she stammered. “W-why are you asking?”
“Oh my god,” he answered. “Oh my god!”
“What? What’s wrong?”
Instead of answering, Derek pressed his ear to her stomach until he could hear the sound clearly. Alongside (Y/N)’s quickening heartbeat, a quieter, steady pattern joined. It was too indistinguishable now. “You’re pregnant,” he said. So quiet he wasn’t sure if he had said it at all. “There’s a baby in there. Our baby.”
“Pregnant…” (Y/N) could not believe the word even as it rolled out of her tongue. “I can’t believe it.”
“We’ll go to Deaton tomorrow, but I’m certain. I can hear their heart beating in there.”
(Y/N)’s mind was reeling. Pregnant, she thought to herself. The word felt foreign. So did her body. Derek had noticed the change before her. How could she not have known that a life was growing inside her? How could she ever be a mother when she did not even know herself?
Without realizing it, tears fell down her cheeks. She felt weak and panicked. The strong woman that had faced the biggest dangers and far scarier monsters trembled with the thought of a life depending on her for survival. It was one thing to volunteer to protect the members of the pack. They were old enough to fend for themselves. It was another to be responsible for the life and survival of another human.
“Hey,” Derek called. His voice sounded like it was underwater. So far away that she could barely hear it. “Baby, what’s going on?”
She hadn’t noticed that she had stood from the bed and was pacing around their room. Her breathing was shallow, and her chest heaved as she took in short breaths, trying to steady herself. Tears kept falling faster than she could wipe them away. They warmed her cheeks before the air turned them cold. It was the only thing that grounded her.
And Derek. Always Derek.
He had gotten off the bed, and within a second, he was wrapping his arms around her. The warmth from his skin calmed her. It brought her senses back to the moment, steadying her rampant heart.
“What’s wrong, (Y/N)?” he spoke into the crook of her neck. “Tell me what I can do to make it better.”
“I’m scared, Derek,” she sighed, tightening her grip around him. “A baby. Here. Now.”
“Why not here?” Derek smiled, his hands running through her hair. “Why not now? With you as their mother, that baby could be born underground, and they would be the luckiest child in the world.”
“How could you be so sure?” (Y/N) cried. “I forget things all the time, I’m clumsy, I can barely redeem myself when it comes to fighting. If it weren’t for my weapons, I wouldn’t bring much to the fight against our enemies. What good would I be to protect a child? How could I be entrusted with their entire upbringing?”
“Oh, (Y/N). You’re far more valuable than what you bring to a fight.” His hands cradled her face, the green of his eyes boring into hers. “You are the most caring person I know. If it weren’t for you, I would have killed half of the pack by now. You’re smart. You’re funny. And if anyone should be terrified of becoming a parent, it should be me.”
“Come on,” she scoffed jokingly, her tears finally subsiding. “You’d be an amazing father. Temperamental, but great nonetheless.”
“Well, I’m glad it at least got you laughing,” he grinned. “How about we just take this one day at a time, baby? Make sure we take things slow. Tell people on our own time. Instead of going to the doctor, we buy a pregnancy test at the pharmacy; confirm what I already know.”
“But if you can hear the heartbeat, I am sure all the other wolves will, too,” she worried. “How am I supposed to take things as they come when everyone will know the second they come here?”
“Then, I won’t let anyone back here,” he smiled. “I’ll have them meet me at the warehouse or at Argent’s place. We can say you’re sick with something and won’t be there. Or that you went to visit family out of state –I don’t know. The point is, we can do this, baby. I know we can.”
“Well, I do admire your tenacity,” she chuckled, kissing his lips softly and hugging him again. “One day at a time, right?”
“One day at a time.”
And it worked. For two months, at least.
That very morning, he went out and returned home with five pregnancy tests and a bouquet of flowers. And five minutes later, they all showed an array of dark pink plus signs and the word Pregnant on them. Just like that, it had been confirmed. A new baby Hale would be coming to Beacon Hills in eight months.
They were excited. Of course, they were. But they couldn’t help the terror that overtook them as well. Bringing a new life into their world was a scary thought. The fact that anyone with knowledge of their child could use them against them was terrifying. Still, they wanted that baby more than anything they had wanted before.
The child that grew inside of (Y/N) was the tangible representation of their love. Evidence that everything life had thrown at them had not been able to push them apart, not for a second. They had been through hell and back, always together, and they had come out of every single occasion stronger than before. That baby was the final piece to their equation.
The next day, they went to the first available OB/GYN about an hour from the town. The doctor confirmed what they already knew, adding the new fact that she was around seven weeks along. The process was more than uncomfortable, but the result was well worth it. A tiny blob appeared on the screen, and the sound of a rapid heartbeat filled their ears. It made tears well up in their eyes. That tiny thing would soon turn into their baby. And even though it didn’t even have a distinguishable shape, they had fallen in love with them.
At first, they thought they would pass the first trimester in bliss. That they would only grow more and more excited as the days passed. And they would have. Had it not been for all the symptoms that overtook (Y/N).
She spent most of her day hunched over the toilet seat, emptying whatever was in her stomach. Even when she thought she could keep food down, an hour or two later, she would be in the bathroom letting it out. And if she wasn’t vomiting, she was ransacked with deep waves of nausea. Then, her breasts started to swell, painful jabs running through her every few days. In addition to heartburn and fatigue, it made her question just how worth it a baby could be.
But Derek had been attentive as ever, if not a little overbearing. He had kept his promise of moving where the meetings were held, claiming that the loft was under renovation while (Y/N) was out of town for a bit. It wasn’t a complete lie, though. He used his downtime to clean up around the house and fix things he had put off for far too long.
He fed her saltine crackers and electrolyte drinks, rubbed her back, and held her hair, and he loved her. Every day and every night, he loved her. Even when he had to stay up cleaning the bathroom or he had to carry her back to bed. He loved her through everything.
“You did this to me,” she had groaned one day. “All I want is to eat chips and pickles, but I can’t keep anything down.”
“I know, and I’m sorry,” he responded, drawing circles on her back as he cradled her body in the bathroom. “Hopefully, in a week, it’ll subside. You’re almost out of the first trimester, and the morning sickness should get better.”
“Stop reading pregnancy books,” she whined. “By the time this bun is fully baked, you’ll know more than me.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Derek chuckled but swallowed his laughter as (Y/N) gifted him an angry scowl. “Okay, okay. I think the ten books I’ve read will do.”
(Y/N) remained quiet and threw her head against his chest. His arms snaked around her body, a comfort she allowed herself to sink into. The warmth from his body felt nice against her shivering skin. But just his presence was enough to comfort her, regardless of the words she spoke.
“I’m sorry I’ve been snappy these past few days,” she sighed. Her eyes closed as he wrapped his arms tighter around her, her head falling against his chest. “I love this baby, and I love you, but I don’t love puking all the time. And peeing all the time. And being tired all the time. I want to fast forward to the next few months.”
“Hey, you can be snappy with me all you want. I can take it,” he said with a smile. “I will be right here every step of the way because I love you. More than you could ever know.”
“Even when I’m all big and bloated?” (Y/N) chuckled, her hands falling onto the growing small bump. “They're already trying to deform my body.”
“Well, at least you’re glowing.”
“No,” she sighed. “That’s just sweat.”
“Then you look beautiful covered in sweat,” he laughed. “Now, let’s get you to bed. Alright?”
(Y/N) could only nod and wrap her arms around his neck as he carried her back to bed, laying right next to her. Even if he couldn’t take this discomfort away, he was trying his best to make things better for her.
Another week passed, and things started to shift. The woman would only occasionally feel the need to throw up her food, but the constant nausea and heartburn had subsided. And once (Y/N) saw her baby's small fingers and feet in their 12-week ultrasound, she knew it had all been worth it.
She also knew they couldn’t keep the secret to themselves any longer.
The pack had become angsty. Wondering when (Y/N) would be coming back from her supposed trip. Two and a half months was far too long to just be with family. With no imminent danger in sight, they had too much time to check up on everyone else.
“I think it’s time we tell them,” (Y/N) told Derek as they watched a movie. She cradled her small bump, something she had unconsciously started to do. “We’re almost at the five-month mark, and I think it’ll be too hard to hide.”
“Do we really?” he groaned. “I can just keep you hidden here until the nine months are up. They don’t have to know a thing.”
“You would really keep the mother of your child sequestered in these walls until I give birth?”
“Maybe even more,” he shrugged. “Maybe I’ll keep you here forever.”
“You’re quite funny, Mr. Hale,” she chuckled. “But they are our friends —our family. They deserve to know there’s one more person to protect.”
“I’ve just really liked this time,” he sighed. His chin rested on her shoulder, his beard tickling her exposed skin. “You know, just you and me. Basking in the time we won’t have once everyone knows and once the baby is here. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, (Y/N). A family of my own, that I can love and protect. A home that’s ours.”
“And we will have that,” she smiled. “We’re just allowing more love in. The best part, at the end of the day, we can just kick them out.”
“When you put it that way,” he laughed before kissing her lips, savoring her. “Alright, fine. We’ll tell them next Saturday.”
“Thank you, Der. It’s gonna be great.”
And it should have.
Had it not been for the million things that went wrong that week. The A/C was busted for a total of four days, a pipe burst in one of the bathrooms, the paint they had ordered for the nursery had been put on back order, and the Camaro had to be taken into the shop for tuning. Thing after thing occurred, piling onto an already stressful time.
Nevertheless, the week came and went. And before either of them knew it, Saturday had rolled in.
To say (Y/N) was nervous was an understatement. For some reason, anxiety was taking over her body. Its claws dug themselves deep into her being. It made her veins run cold and her heart speed. She didn’t know how any of them would react to the baby. Even to the fact that they had kept it from them for so long. And although Derek tried his best to calm her worries, they had already made a home inside her head.
“God, what if they hate the fact that I’m pregnant?” (Y/N) worried as she laid out more food than necessary on the kitchen counter. “What if they find the idea of bringing a child into a messed up world to be the worst thing ever?”
“Who cares, baby? It’s our child,” Derek tried to reassure. “We are the ones that will be raising them. The ones to protect them. Always and forever.
“But they say it takes a village, Der. And that is one thing that I know is true. I mean, at some point, we will need their help.”
“And you really think we won’t have it,” he said, rounding the kitchen island. His hands traveled her body and, in one swift move, had her sitting on the counter. At eye level, he could stare directly into her glossy eyes. “We have been through everything with these people. Even the ones I hated at the beginning have become my closest friends. I’m 100% sure they’ll be thrilled that you’re pregnant.”
He snaked his hand to her chin, pulling her down for a soft kiss. But once their lips made contact, it was too much of a temptation to keep it chaste. Soon enough, their tongues danced together, and their hands pulled each other closer. It left them breathless and excited, wanting —needing more.
“Uh, we can come back if it’s a bad time,” Stiles’ voice rang through the apartment, startling them apart. “But you guys did invite us here. So, it’s kind of bad on you guys.”
“No. Yes! I mean, it’s not a bad time,” (Y/N) chuckled as she jumped off the counter, hiding her stomach with a comically large bowl. “We just got carried away, I guess.”
“The one day they decide to show up on time,” Derek grumbled under his breath. “Come in, why don’t you?”
Before they knew it, the apartment was filled with werewolves, a banshee, other werehumans and supernatural beings, and their very own abominable snowman. The couple remained in the kitchen as everyone situated themselves, whispering under their breath what the best way to go about it would be.
“Not to be pushy,” Peter called out. “But if you guys only called us over for some food, I have better things to do than hang around children all day.”
“You do know we’re all well above the age of eighteen, right?” Isaac retorted. “It’s been quite some time since we have been children.”
“You’re still younger than me, correct?”
“Well, yeah…”
“Then children,” he said. “So, what is it? Am I staying, or am I leaving?”
“Settle down, Peter,” Derek responded, biting back the urge to roll his eyes. “We do have something important to announce to everyone and would very much appreciate it if you just listen.”
“Fine,” he frowned. “But you have ten minutes of my time before I decide to leave.”
“All we need is a couple of seconds, really,” (Y/N) said with a smile on her face so sweet no one dared say anything else. “I’m sure you heard that I was away for a while and that we were undergoing renovations here. Which, as you can tell by the lack of changes, was not true. Derek lied on my behalf and moved any necessary meetings out of our home because I needed this time to myself as I underwent a sort of change in my life.”
“Oh my god, you’re dying,” Stiles worried. “Is it cancer? Is it at least treatable?”
“It’s nothing like that, Stiles,” she reassured with a soft chuckle. “But thank you for worrying. It’s just as life-changing but not necessarily life-threatening. At least, I’m hoping it’s not. But you could never be sure until…”
“(Y/N), you’re rambling,” Derek whispered in her ear. “It’s nothing bad.”
“You’re pregnant!” Lydia exclaimed, a bright smile adorning her face.
“How would you know that?” Malia questioned. “I thought you predicted death, not new life.”
“It’s common sense,” she shrugged, disregarding the comment. “She’s been hiding for months. The place smells like paint, and nothing in this room is painted, so I can only assume it’s a bedroom. And she hasn’t stepped out from behind the island that just so happens to cover her stomach. Two and two always makes four.”
“Except on this occasion, it made three,” (Y/N) chuckled. She walked around the counter and joined Derek’s side, her bump finally on display for everyone to see. “But, yes, Lydia, I am pregnant. Almost five months now.”
A shower of ‘holy crap’s and ‘oh my god’s rained over them as, one by one, the pack got to their feet and hugged the couple in congratulations. They rejoiced together and started planning how to spoil little baby Hale even before they were born. Every single person was as excited and overjoyed as Derek and (Y/N) were, anxious for when the baby was born.
Well, except Peter.
“Yeah, next time you have these kinds of news, little nephew, make sure to make it an email,” he grumbled, looking at his watch. “Can’t believe I canceled evening plans for a pregnancy announcement.”
“We love you too, Peter,” (Y/N) laughed. “Maybe if you leave now, you can still make it to whatever it is that you had planned.”
“I’m already here,” he shrugged as he sat back down on the sofa. “Might as well take advantage of the free food.”
“Ignore him,” Derek told her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “He can’t take this moment away from us. It’s all ours.”
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Speak | Chapter 11
Word Count: 2.6K
Warnings: emotional abuse, foul language, bodily harm
Summary: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf.
A/N: wanted to make this chapter longer, but I'm leaving the comfort/fluff for the next chapter. Now, onto the only story y'all care about 😉😉(jk jk)
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It had been a whole week of romantic bliss. At least in (Y/N)’s opinion. Something had finally clicked inside Jacob. Somehow, he’d finally understood what it meant to be a boyfriend. A surprising turn of events in his behavior from the past two weeks.
Jake had been the kind and caring boy she had fallen for many years before. He’d taken her out on a couple of spontaneous dates, he’d filled her with loving words, and not once did he make her question if they were meant to be together.
One. Whole. Week.
And she hoped it would last. (Y/N) hoped it would remain that way for as long as it could. Even with all the secrets between them. Sure, she had to wait until the late hours of the day to talk to Paul. Spending hours on the phone as she had done with Jake in the beginning, learning the smallest intricacies of his personality. Everything that made him him.
(Y/N) couldn’t stop the giddiness that filled her veins every time the phone rang. There was a pull to the boy that she did not understand. Something mystical that tugged at her heartstrings and sang the song of Paul Lahote. But she was too scared to answer that call, to listen to the chords that made up his name. How could her heart call to someone she hardly knew? How could she want someone else when she had spent so many years beating for another?
There was a complexity to her feelings that she could not decipher. Her head told her it was delusion. That she had only begun to gravitate toward Paul when Jake and she had hit their first obstacle. And although that obstacle had yet to be removed –Bella was always a lingering presence in everyone’s life—(Y/N) was seeing a way through it. Paul had been kind and comforting in a time when –even if she could not admit it—she was scared of Jake, petrified by his anger. The girl simply couldn’t bring herself to believe it could be anything more than that. She simply wouldn’t.
Jacob Black was it for her, she could almost bet her life on it.
Well, only for the time things were good. ‘
But (Y/N) seemed to forget from her time in Forks that things never remained the same for too long. Laughter died, the sun stopped shining, and Jacob’s painted-on mask could shatter in a split second.
School had started in the rez as well as in Forks. Teenagers spilled into the halls of the high school, mutterings about their winter vacations muddling into each other. It made (Y/N)’s heart beat faster to be around other students once more. Two years had passed since she had been inside a physical school and she had grown accustomed to her mother and a slow computer to be her teachers. She felt odd and out of place and wondered how Bella had felt walking through these very walls only a year prior to her. And she could have asked her. Her older sister was walking right beside her and she could have asked her if the staring ever died down, or if feeling nervous was normal.
Alas, Bella would not have answered, and (Y/N) was resigned to keeping those questions buried deep within her. Her sister was out of her room and in the school, and that was all she could ask for. The zombie-like girl guided her to the office, where she was met with a red-haired woman with a bright smile.
“Well, it seems the Swan duo is finally complete,” she said. Her glasses slid off her nose slightly as she looked at (Y/N) through the top of the spectacles. “I’ve got your schedule right here. And though I’m sure Bella will show you around, I’ve added a map of the school as well with the best routes to get to your classes.”
“Uh, thanks,” (Y/N) forced a smile as she felt her cheeks warm in embarrassment. She expected to be known in the school, but she never thought that it would feel so invasive. “This is very helpful.”
“Of course, (Y/N),” she smiled. “Can’t believe just last year I was giving your sister a similar folder.”
“Yeah, time sure does fly.”
During the whole encounter, Bella remained stoic and quiet. Her ever-present sorrow hung over both of them like the darkest clouds that frequently adorned the Washington sky. The older Swan was there, but it would have been the same as though she was not there. The plant in the corner of the office held more life than her sister currently did.
And that was how the rest of the day went. (Y/N)’s hours passed and it felt like she was the only Swan in that school. Long gone was the novelty of Isabella, instead replaced by the freshness of her little sister. Everywhere she walked, eyes followed her. There was nowhere she could go that others wouldn’t question her regarding her life in Arizona and Florida before transitioning the conversation into Bella’s heartbreak condition. Even during lunchtime, when her older sister was sitting right next to her, her friends asked (Y/N) how she was doing.
(Y/N) wasn’t sure what she should have expected when she had gotten to school. But she definitely did not enjoy having to be her sister’s spokesperson. A small part of her wanted her to be the real center of attention, not just the vessel of information regarding Bella. If someone had asked her she would have said that the only reason she had been accepted at the high school was to make sure her sister didn’t fall apart during one of her classes.
Though she did meet new people as the week went by, it felt just like it had when they had been growing up. (Y/N) was not her separate entity; she was just Bella’s little sister. And she feared that’s all she would ever be. It made her feel shallow and a bit vain to want everyone’s attention, to hope that others gravitated toward her because of who she was rather than who she was related to.
Back home, it was no different. As the Swan sisters walked into the house, Charlie was quick to ask how the day went. But his eyes were trained on his oldest daughter. Especially as the girl disappeared into her room, closing her door behind her.
“Did anything happen at school, (Y/N)?” Charlie worried. “How did she do today?”
“Well, nothing’s really different,” she sighed. “I only saw her during lunch and she was just quiet. She picked around her food, only eating a couple of bites before the bell rang. Other than that, I don’t know much.”
“I shouldn’t be surprised,” her father responded as he slumped on the armchair. “She’s been that way since September. I’m just glad you’re there now to look out for her. I don’t know what we’re gonna do, (Y/N).”
“I don’t know, dad. Whatever Bella is going through is bigger than just heartbreak. And I think only she can dig herself out of this hole. We just gotta be here whenever she decides to,” (Y/N) shrugged before she followed the same path Bella had taken only a minute before. “Oh, and school was great for me. Thanks for asking. Again”
The door slammed lower than she intended behind her, but she didn’t care. Her entire day had already revolved around Bella. Like she was the gravitational pull in Forks. Forget the sun. No, this small town revolved around the one and only Isabella Swan. There was nowhere she could go where the shadow of her sister didn’t tower over her.
She changed clothes before burying herself under her covers, searching her phone for the only person that did not seem to care who her sister was. The only person that had not made her think that they were using her to get to Bella. She knew his voice would be able to calm her anger and assuage her disappointment.
But before her finger could hit the call button a knock resounded through her room, followed by her father’s figure entering her room. “Hey, kiddo,” he said. “I just wanted to apologize for that. I know it may seem like I’m only focused on Bells, but I know I don’t have to worry about you. Your sister on the other hand…”
“I know, dad. She’s been chosen by the gods of sorrows and they don’t want to let her go.”
“Don’t be melodramatic, (Y/N),” he chuckled. “But I wanna make sure you know that I care about you just as much as I care about your sister, and I’m here for whatever you need, whenever you need.”
“I know,” she smiled, swallowing down the tears that were threatening to spill. Her father may not have noticed, but he did not pay them the same attention. Not even their mother had. And it pained (Y/N) to admit that she had grown too used to it. “It’s okay, dad. I know you’re worried about her and so am I.”
“I’m sure, kiddo,” he smiled, sighing in relief. “Well, I wanted to let you know that I’m off tonight on shift.”
“Okay. See you in the morning then.”
“Yeah, and Jake’s downstairs waiting for you.” (Y/N) perked up at his name. It didn’t surprise her anymore when he dropped by unannounced. He had been doing it the remnant of his winter break and he had promised it wouldn’t change after school started. “Now, I trust you guys, but no boys in the room, (Y/N). Keep it to the living room and the kitchen, alright?”
“Of course, dad,” she chuckled, following him out of her room and down the stairs. “Stay safe out there.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he scoffed jokingly. “I take you’ll behave yourself, Jacob. That’s my daughter we’re talking about here.”
“I will, Charlie,” Jake smiled. “I promise there won’t be any funny business going on.”
“You better,” Charlie scowled. “See you in the morning, (Y/N). Bye, Jacob.”
“Bye, Charlie,” he chuckled.
She leaned into the side hug her father gave her, smiling as he kissed the top of her head. “Bye, dad.”
The front door closed behind him and (Y/N) remained by the front window until the cruiser disappeared from the driveway and down the road. Once the car was nowhere in sight, she turned to her boyfriend, a mischievous grin tugging at her lips. She closed the distance between her and Jake, looking to wrap him in a hug.
But Jacob stopped her, pushing her arms back onto her sides, his warm smile replaced with a stoic scowl. “I’m not staying long, (Y/N),” he muttered. “There’s just something we need to talk about.”
“What’s wrong, Jake?” she worried. “Did I do something wrong?”
“I know you haven’t been honest with me, (Y/N).”
“W-what? What are you talking about?”
“I know that you’re still talking to Paul,” he answered. His face was unreadable but his words were seeped in disappointment. “And don’t deny it. Embry let it slip out accidentally. It seems your best friend decided to recruit mine into whatever gang he’s in with Sam Uley.”
“Come on, Jake. How would Jared know any of that?” (Y/N) stammered, an awkward smile playing on her face. “There’s nothing there to let slip.”
“Right, so, Embry just so happened to start avoiding me and Quil in school. He cut his hair, he got that dumb tattoo they all have, and he’s always with them when he’s not in school. And, it’s funny, today when we confronted him about it, he simply said that they were helping him with something he couldn’t talk about,” Jake seethed. “But the cherry on top was when, for some reason, he told me that it would be best if I just let you and Paul be friends. Which came as a surprise to me since there isn’t supposed to be a friendship there. Not for the past two weeks, (Y/N).”
Her heart beat loudly in her chest, her breath hitching in her throat as Jake revealed that he was sure that she had broken her promise to him. She had never planned to keep that promise, but at that moment she was regretting it. “Tell me what to do to fix this, Jake,” she pleaded. “I’ll do anything. I’ll even delete his contact from my phone right now.”
“No,” he stated simply. “If you want to help, tell your buddy Paul to let whatever he and his little group have on Embry go. Maybe then I’ll consider forgiving you for lying to me for two weeks. For now, I think it’d be best if we took a little break.”
He turned her back to her, making his way to the door. He made it to the driver’s side of his car before (Y/N) caught up to him, trying her best to not slip on the ice-covered pavement.
“Jake, please,” she cried, holding onto his forearm, trying her best to turn him to face her. “I promise there is nothing going on between us. All we did was talk. I’ll never call him again, Jake. Just please, don’t leave like this.”
“I don’t care anymore if you talk to him, (Y/N). You can talk with all of Forks for all I care,” he spat. “I just want my best friend back and safe from those assholes. Get Embry back and then we can talk. It’s as simple as that.”
“I have no control over that, Jake. You know that,” she sobbed. Her hands kept tugging at his arm, trying with all of her might to turn him around. To be able to look into the brown of his eyes and show him that she was telling the truth. But he would not budge. His body remained frozen in place. His gaze fixed on the car door. “Please. I’ll do anything else. Anything you want!”
At that last tug, Jacob finally moved, pulling his arm toward his body. The bruteness and the swiftness of his motion made (Y/N) slip and fall back, her hands flying behind her to catch her fall. Her palms burned as they made contact with the rough cement and her backside ached in searing pain.
Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes, falling down her cheeks and making her skin freeze in the weather. She knew it had been an accident –it had to be. But instead of running to her aid, Jake got into his car with a scoff. “Ask Paul to let Embry go,” he said as he backed out of the driveway. “If not, don’t even bother calling me your boyfriend anymore.”
And then he left. He simply left. She looked down at her hands, covered in scuff marks and trails of blood. Her body was shaking from the cold but her shock petrified her more. Jake had –unintentionally—hurt her and he had left.
(Y/N) didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t call her sister. Bella would probably just stare at her as she took care of herself. She couldn’t call her dad and let him know what Jake had done. Maybe he wouldn’t have even thought that it was such a bad thing. There was only one person that she knew she could call. The only person that despite everything that had happened could bring her comfort.
Her hands screamed at her as they dug into the pocket of her pants to dig out her phone. She stared as the grey sweats she wore darkened with drops of blood. Her wrists ached and her palms stung, and all she wanted was someone to hold her.
“Paul,” her voice croaked through her phone as soon as the ringing stopped. “Can you come over, please?”
“I’ll be there soon,” was all he said.
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Speak | Chapter 14
Word Count: 4.1K
Summary: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf.
A/N: this chapter is way longer than I thought it would be and all I'm saying about it is that the next couple of chapters are gonna be a shitshow 🤭🤭 Also, tried to keep the taglist as it was and to add people, but Tumblr won't let me post the chapter with how many there are.
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Not seeing Jacob for almost three weeks had not been as catastrophic as (Y/N) had thought it would be. It had been odd, she couldn’t lie. She had gotten used to seeing him at least once or twice in a week and coming home to an empty house had been unusual. Still, it had not sent her into the comatose whirlwind her sister had fallen into after her boyfriend had seemingly disappeared from the face of the earth.
Charlie hadn’t questioned it at first. Mostly because (Y/N) didn’t seem any different, and she still talked to someone on the phone most days. Nothing was amiss in the eyes of the household.
Until a switch flipped inside Bella. Halfway through (Y/N)’s Jacob detox, her older sister started to disappear a couple of times a week. She didn’t know where she was going or what she was doing, but she was happy that Bella seemed to be doing better. Whether it had been because of their father’s ultimatum or because she genuinely was starting to move on didn’t matter. (Y/N) was simply happy that her sister seemed content.
Her mind was also occupied with a certain boy and what he had done to make sure she was okay. In the days after the accident, he called her every morning and every night, reminding her to change her bandages and apply antibiotic ointment. He always asked how her bruise was doing and made sure she remembered to ice it every night. He had made her feel cared for, and he had made sure she knew that someone out there was watching out for her well-being.
The feelings that fluttered in (Y/N)’s heart were still unclear to her. She couldn’t deny the magnetism that pulled her toward Paul, and the more she got to know him, the more she understood her gravitation toward him. Just not what had spurred it on.
“Hey, (Y/N), I’m going out soon,” Bella called out. “I left some breakfast done in the microwave.”
“Where are you going?” (Y/N) asked, peering her head down the stairs.
“On a hike.”
“By yourself again?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m trying to get used to being there by myself again.”
“If you give me a couple of minutes to get ready, I could go with you. Make sure you don’t fall this time,” the younger girl offered. “I wouldn’t mind some sisterly bonding..”
“Uh, well... you know, maybe next time?” Bella stammered. “I’m kind of short on time, and I have a shift at Newton’s soon after.”
“Oh, that’s okay. Just be careful, then. Wouldn’t want another ER visit.”
“Right,” she chuckled dryly. “I’ll see you later, (Y/N).”
“Yeah. See you.”
Much like the past weeks, even if she was doing well, Bella seemed to be avoiding her sister. And it felt no different than when she wouldn’t speak at all. At least at that point, she would at least meet (Y/N)’s eyeline. It had sent her down a spiral as she wondered what she had done for her sister to spend as little time as she could with her.
But she had no time to dwell on her sister’s rejection. She didn’t want to. Instead, she packed a backpack full of art supplies –paints, brushes, and a canvas notebook. The items were coated with a layer of dust, left abandoned and untouched for many years.
(Y/N) had grown up loving everything artistic. It was a side Bella was not in tune with, and it had made her feel closer to her mother because of it. When they had been on the road, many a time did Renée and her youngest daughter stop by a creek or a clearing to paint the scenery before them. If they didn’t paint, they would prop up a couple of chairs and spend hours knitting or crocheting. Those were the moments she thought there would be a possibility that she and Bella could be on equal footing.
As she got ready to go, she realized there was no way she had no way of getting anywhere near the place she had in mind without a set of wheels. Her father had promised that as soon as he could, he would get her a car, but for the time being, she was stuck hitching rides with her sister to school and depending on others to drive her anywhere. She never realized how inconvenient it was to not have a car now that she was… single?
(Y/N) walked to the phone in the kitchen, dialed the number she had unknowingly memorized, and waited for a response. “Hey,” she smiled as the call was picked up. “Are you, by chance, doing anything right now?”
“Not really,” Paul said through the phone. “I should be doing homework, but I am up for anything that gets me out of it.”
“Well, if it’s not too much trouble, do you think you could pick me up? I was in the mood of painting in the woods, somewhere by the trailhead off the one-ten, but I have no way of getting there.”
“I’ll be there in ten.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to bother you if you have something to do.”
“It’s absolutely no problem, (Y/N),” he said. “I’ll see you soon.”
After he hung up the phone, (Y/N) went ahead and finished packing the rest of the supplies she would need, as well as food and drinks for the trip. If she was going to make him make the trip to and from Forks, she could at least make it worth his while. In a lunchbox cooler, she placed the remaining slices of a cake she had made the week before, BLT sandwiches she quickly put together, and anything else she could find in the fridge and around the kitchen that would be good to snack on –crackers and cheese, some assorted vegetables and fruits, chips, and bottles of water and a couple of cans of soda.
By the time Paul reached her front door, she was carrying a full backpack on her back and a couple of bags in her arms. “Are you moving to the forest?” he chuckled the moment he saw her reaching for the heaviest ones. “I didn’t think this outing would be so life-changing.”
“Well, my things are on my back,” she explained. “The lunchbox is filled to the top with food and drinks, then that bag has a blanket and some other dry snacks. I might be forcing you to make this long trip, so I thought I would at least feed you in exchange.”
“You’re not forcing me to do anything,” Paul smiled softly. “But I appreciate the food. I may have also brought along some things to eat.”
“Great minds think alike, it seems,” she returned his grin. “Then, thank you for driving me. I’m sure there are a million other ways you would rather spend a Saturday.”
“Not really,” he shrugged as he opened the passenger door for (Y/N) after placing all of the bags in the back. “You honestly saved me from a very boring English paper on The Great Gatsby.”
“I actually read that book last year,” she added as Paul turned the truck on. “It’s really good once you get into the story.”
“How have you already read it? I thought you were a sophomore.”
“I didn’t read it for school,” she chuckled. “Surprisingly enough, you can read things without being graded on them and like them. It’s actually one of my favorites.”
“Then I guess I will just have to give it a fair chance,” he said. His eyes snapped to hers for a quick second before focusing on the road once more, and she couldn’t help the rush that it sent through her. “If it’s one of your favorites, then it must have some type of redeeming quality.”
“I’m sure you’ll like it,” (Y/N) smiled. “As long as you give it a chance.”
As soon as they reached the end of the dirt road that took them to the trailhead, Paul took hold of all of the bags before opening the door for (Y/N) and helping her out. And the second she went for a bag, he started walking.
“I just want to help carry something,” she called out with a chuckle as he put distance between them. “I brought most of the things.”
“Why would you have to carry anything when I’m right here?”
“Because I want to help.”
“You’d have to catch up to me to do that,” he smirked, walking backward through the trail. “Which is impossible, so I guess I’m carrying the bags.”
“I don’t even know where we should go,” she laughed, taking off in a small trot to reach him. “This is as far as I thought.”
“Good thing you have the best guide then. I’m as good at moving through the woods as I am at carrying bags.”
“Lead the way then,” (Y/N) smiled.
Paul allowed (Y/N) to catch up to him once she renounced the idea of carrying anything. She followed every step he made, wondering what destination he had in mind. The last time she had even come close to being in the midst of the trees of Washington had been when she was a child. Too many times, little (Y/N), Bella, and the Black children would escape to the woods even when Billy and Charlie had warned them many times not to.
Those were the moments she missed the most. When the only thing they were worried about was having fun and keeping their escapades from their parents. There were no complicated feelings or uncertainty in their relationships. There was no confusion or pain. No ill will or misguided intentions. They were just kids trying their best to make the most out of their summer.
When Paul finally came to a stop, (Y/N) felt a sense that she had been in that very spot before. From the rays that peeked through the treetops that reached each other to create a covering to the flat expanse of grass; from the quiet pond to the rocks that bordered its shore. She could bet almost everything she had on the fact that, if she hadn’t been there, she had seen it before.
“This is perfect,” she found herself muttering. “How did you know about this place?”
“I told you I was the best guide for these woods,” he smirked. “I know all of the best spots in these woods.”
They settled close to the pond, one of the only places the sun shined onto. In the cold of February, the warmth made that place that much more perfect. She straightened the blanket onto the ground, setting the food in one corner and the paint supplies in another, leaving the center empty for them.
(Y/N) sat first, pulling item after item from her backpack, setting them in between her and where Paul sat after. He watched her every move, curiosity filling his eyes. Especially as she handed him a piece of canvas paper and a set of brushes.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” he asked as he eyed the items in his hands. “I can’t paint.”
“You don’t have to know how to paint to just have fun painting,” she offered. “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just get very quiet and in my own head when I paint, so I thought it’d be good for you to have something to do while I basically disappear for a while.”
“I’ll give it a try then,” Paul smiled, taking back the items (Y/N) had reached for. “But you have to promise you won’t laugh at it.”
“I promise.”
The younger Swan had not been lying when she said she got quiet. As soon as her brush hit the canvas and she felt inspiration rush through her, it was as though she was by herself. Her hand moved before thoughts could fill her head. She couldn’t see or hear anything but what was coming to life in front of her. Stroke after stroke, color after color, her painting was the only thing she could think of.
Before (Y/N) knew it, an hour and a half had passed, and her painting was done. As she slowly came back into the present, she looked up for the first time since she had sat down. Paul was staring at her with something in his eyes that was there every time he looked at her. Even if she didn’t know what it was, she knew that it made her feel good.
“Hi there,” he said with a slight chuckle. “You weren’t kidding when you said you’d disappear.”
“Oh, sorry,” she said, growing red with embarrassment. “Have you been waiting long?”
“Nah, you’re good. It was honestly fascinating,” Paul smiled. His brown eyes looked like they were on fire under the orange sun, drawing her in like nothing ever before. “What were you working on?”
“Show me what you did first,” (Y/N) responded, shielding the canvas from his line of sight.
“It will definitely not be as good,” he frowned. “I was not blessed with this kind of artistic talent.”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad. Show me.”
He turned his canvas paper slowly, revealing a painting that was amateurish at its best but still adorable. It seemed he had drawn the view before him. A striking blue pond with vibrant green grass, fluffy trees that met by their branches with thick dark trunks, and what seemed to be the shape of a girl looking down at a piece of paper. Anyone would have thought that a child had done it, but it made (Y/N) smile so hard it made her cheeks hurt.
“Please don’t laugh,” he said sheepishly. “I told you I’m not good at this.”
“No, it’s cute. I love it. I don’t know how, but it’s very you.”
“Very me? You mean painfully childish?”
“Oh god, no!” (Y/N) quickly corrected. “It’s fun, it’s vibrant, it’s… it’s present. Sure, I can tell it’s by a beginner, but it still speaks to the way you view the world. And it’s beautiful.”
“Woah, well, I never thought of it that way. Much less that you could say so much of such a basis painting.” A smile spread across his face as he looked at his work with different eyes. They were kinder now, appreciative of the art he had made. “Now, let’s see yours.”
Once he asked again, she turned the notebook, careful not to smear whatever parts were still wet. Paul’s eyes opened big, and his mouth fell open in amazement. On the sheet, a dark grey wolf howled back at him. Its fur was completed with a mix of yellows and oranges to give it dimension, and its head was raised to the sky as it called out. She didn’t know how she had such a vivid image of a wolf in her mind, but she loved how it had turned out.
“Holy shit, that’s amazing!” Paul exclaimed as he took the notebook to inspect the art closer. “I knew you could paint, but I didn’t know you could paint like a professional.”
“I would hardly call myself a professional,” (Y/N) smiled. “And it’s been years since I’ve actually painted anything. But weirdly enough, I have been able to get the image of this wolf out of my head since I got to Forks.”
“That is weird,” he coughed awkwardly. “But it’s a beautiful painting, (Y/N).”
“Keep it,” she offered. “I will probably paint many more if it’s the only source of inspiration I’ve gotten in a long time.”
“I couldn’t. It’s your work.”
“And I want you to have it,” she insisted. “Please.”
“You’re twisting my hand, but fine,” he said with fake nonchalance. “It’s really good, though, (Y/N). You’re really talented.”
“Thank you, Paul. I’m just glad it’s something that ties me to my mother.”
“What do you mean?”
(Y/N) sighed before she answered. It was a topic she had never brought up to anyone. She had never felt like she could. Not to anyone close to her, at least. “I don’t know,” she breathed. “I guess I’ve always felt like I’ve needed to fight for people’s attention. Especially my parents. Everyone just seems to gravitate toward Bella, and I’m always left in her shadow. As we grew older, I found anything artistic came easy to me, and it’s one of the only things I have over my sister.
“And I know it sounds bad, but it made me feel good that she was bad at it. My mom would always go through some moments when all she wanted to do was paint or knit or whatever, and she’d always look for me when that happened. So, I made sure I would always practice so that she would keep asking me to join her.” (Y/N) could feel tears prickling in her eyes, threatening to spill as she finally said out loud what she had been keeping inside for years. Her head fell as she stared at her fingers, her attention falling on a little piece of skin that had lifted on her thumb. “With my dad, it’s a bit more difficult though. I feel like we get along well, but right now, he’s worried about Bella, and that takes up a lot of space in his mind. And somehow, I just keep falling through the cracks.”
“You should never have to beg for anyone’s attention, (Y/N),” Paul said, wiping away a tear she had not felt fall. “Have you ever told them about this?”
“No,” she answered sheepishly. “And right now, it’s not the best time. Bella seems to be getting better, and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize it.”
“But…”
“It’s okay, Paul. Really. I’m used to it by now,” she smiled as she dismissed the topic. “Now, let’s open up that lunchbox. I’m getting kind of hungry.”
She handed Paul one of the sandwiches as she placed the rest of the food and drinks between them. Not many words were exchanged between them as they ate, the boy downing most of the items at a surprising speed.
“So, tell me about your Great Gatsby assignment,” (Y/N) said, breaking the silence. “Maybe I could help you with it.”
“Well, I’m supposed to pick a central theme in the book and write how it’s presented in the story. But I’ve only gotten as far as the cover page, and the paper is due Monday.”
“Paul! You should be at home working on it! You made it sound like you had a lot more time to finish it.”
“Eh, it doesn’t really matter.”
“Okay, well, I could tell you one of my favorite themes. But I don’t know how interested you’ll be in writing about it.”
“Can’t be any worse than I already have,” he shrugged. “So, go ahead. Tell me about The Great Gatsby.”
“Well, I’ve always found the use of love and romance in the book very interesting,” she started, setting her food down on her lap as she got into what she was saying. “There’s this big debate on whether Daisy actually loved Gatsby, but I don’t think that’s the right question. What we are looking for in the story is whether Daisy loves Gatsby more than she loves wealth and status. Which, spoiler alert, she does not. Regardless of how Tom treats her, she stays with him because of what he can give her. She may have been infatuated with Gatsby, but the second something better came along, she forgot all about him. Until he shows up with money, and suddenly he’s at the top of her list. But new money can never be as strong as old money.
“Now, there’s the question of whether Gatsby is in love with Daisy, which is a completely different side of the same coin,” (Y/N) continued, settling more into her position. “I would say he isn’t. He is in love with this idea of Daisy that she simply is not. She’s cold and materialistic, and she’s only driven by what others can give her. She wants an easy life that she knows she will never get from Gatsby. Sure, he would never hurt her or cheat on her like Tom has, but she can never part with the simplicity she gets by staying with Tom. The Great Gatsby is painted as this unfortunate romance, filled with forbidden love and circumstantial obstacles, but truly it’s about a cunning woman that loves money and excitement more than she loves the men in her life.”
At that moment, (Y/N) didn’t note the irony of the story and how closely it related to her own situation. She didn’t feel like a Gatsby or a Daisy, much less did she see how she had her own version of Tom. But Paul drank each of her words like they were honey spilling from her lips. Not because he particularly cared about the story but because she loved it.
“You know what, you’ve actually convinced me to read the book,” he smiled before taking the last bite of his sandwich. “Don’t know if I’ll finish it by Monday, but I will definitely try.”
(Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh as a dollop of mayonnaise smeared on his cheek. She tried to point out where it was, but his comically outstretched tongue could not get to where it was. “Here,” she chuckled. She pulled a napkin out of the bag and wiped away the stain as they laughed. “Much bet…”
Suddenly, a rustling startled them, followed by laughter. For a moment, (Y/N) had forgotten that she was in the middle of the woods and that anyone could walk by at any moment. The pair got up on their feet, cautiously following where the sound came from while shielding themselves from view. But nothing could have prepared her for what she was about to see.
Bella and Jacob were coming down the trail, walking side by side as they talked and laughed. They had no idea they were being watched at that moment, and they were acting as much. Jake offered Bella his arm after she buckled in her step, and she gladly took it. And all she could think of was how that should have been her; that Bella should not have been the one to be holding onto Jake.
At that point, (Y/N) couldn’t hold her tears back anymore. It seemed that Jacob had decided that their relationship was over, and he was gladly moving on with the person that was closest to her. It made her heart wrench inside of her chest, shattering whatever hope still remained inside her. She didn’t know when it had happened, but her knees gave up on her, and she could only stay up by the hold Paul had on her.
But she couldn’t blame her sister. Not entirely, at least. (Y/N) hadn’t confided in her sister about any of the problems she’d had with Jake, and they had been friends long before (Y/N) had come back to Forks. Still, she couldn’t help but feel betrayed by the fact that her sister would lie to her about spending time with her boyfriend—ex-boyfriend?
Paul made a move to walk toward them, possibly to try and confront them, but (Y/N) stopped him, pleading with her eyes to wait until they were gone. “Why didn’t you let me go after them?” the boy asked the second the others were out of view. “Don’t you want to know why he’s been avoiding you and why the hell your sister is with him?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she sniffled. “Jake made it clear that he didn’t want to be with me if I couldn’t get Embry to leave you guys, and he’s just making good on his promise. And Bella doesn’t even know about all of that. He definitely didn’t tell her.”
“Then, why didn’t you expose him to her? Don’t you want her to know what he did?”
“(Y/N)…”
“Just take me home, please?” she asked. Her eyes were filling with new tears, and her lips quivered as she tried with all her might not to let them fall. “I just want to go home.”
“Alright,” Paul conceded.
They packed everything in silence, the air around them shifting and thickening. Long gone was the comfortable sunny day, now replaced with a coldness that seeped through their bones. All (Y/N) wanted now was to go back home and sink into her bed sheets. Seeing Jacob and Bella together had hurt her a lot more than not seeing him at all.
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