#source trauma

[system-hottakes]

(Quick abuse ment. //) Hot take (and before I say this, source trauma is valid) but you cannot compare source trauma to irl trauma.

You can be traumatized from your source, yes, but if you got beat up in your source, you cannot compare it to the body getting beat up irl. You cannot say you experienced physical abuse if the body has not experienced physical abuse.

Again, can you be traumatized from your source? Yes. I know quite a few alters (including ones insys) who are and freak out over it. But you cannot claim to have experienced it if the body didn't, at the *very* least not in the same way.

yeah. Usually source trauma / memories can be based off of the systems actual trauma too, but if it isn't then it's wrong to say you experienced it. You can say you have source trauma but you shouldn't claim to have that trauma as a bodily experience. (If that makes sense)

#anti endo #actually did #did system #system #alters #did #endos dni #hot takes #hot take #source trauma

[ambersblogandstories]

Watched the Nimona movie and I hate how similar it is to home.

Art by @esuexi

Hate how much he looks like the man almost took my arm.

But this

This scene took away that hatred.

Maybe it's a far fetch but I think a little bit of my trauma was lifted and kissed into peace by the not same man that hurt me in my memory.

#nimona #nimona film #did system #source memories #source trauma

[pluralcultureis]

Plural culture is how do you separate from source ☠️ h e l p?

-Fullmetal

Ah yikes, don't have advice for ya there buddy but maybe someone else might in the replies

#endos dni #osdd #pdid #did #did system #pdid system #osddid #actually did #traumagenic #actually dissociative #plural culture is #source trauma #source death #system advice

[thesnowchesterfog]

There is a small grave by the sea. I leave flowers there when I can get out of bed. They die quickly in the cold, but. I clear the snow away when it falls. You were always so warm and bright, I don’t want you to be cold. I couldn’t get your discs back- I left a music box there for you anyways. Maybe in the after you can play music again. Maybe you can make your own. Sometimes I can’t make it to the grave and I just. Fall in the snow and lie there. It’s okay, I’m used to the cold. I miss when i wasn’t.

#my posts #foggy days #does this count as a poem? #poetry #writing #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #grief #grief poetry #tubbo introject #tubbo fictive #exomemories #exotrauma #source memories #source trauma #pseudomemories #pseudotrauma #tommy introject #tommy fictive

[bstroobery]

Hi. I’m a David Leatherhoff introject. Just call me David.

Drove for the first time in awhile… actually, from what I can remember, for the first time since forming.

Flashbacks and anxiety from when I hit Simon with my car. :)

Source trauma is a bitch isn’t it?

-💊

#💊 #dissociative system #sysblr #afraid of monsters fictive #afraid of monsters #cry of fear #fictive problems #source trauma #driving is now a big ass not happening again #I was the one that agreed to do it #it was a joke gone wrong mostly #Blue and Ghost decided to suddenly let me drive and I drove us home #with anxiety and flashbacks bad enough other alters felt that shit #yay…

[the80srewinders]

Introjects can have different types of source trauma. It isn't always "i remember being attacked and/or killed in my source universe! " It can be the character was abused, had another traumatic event, or the source had a storyline where one of the other characters was abused, attacked, traumatized or died. Source trauma can be seeing or reading something in your source that's disturbing (especially if it reminds you of your irl trauma.)

#dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #actually dissociative #introject #source trauma

[tomggot]

I exist for like. Five seconds and already fucking hate everything every five minutes

but I’m a big man I can do it

#Vent #Kinda #Source trauma #c!tommy introject #c!tommy fictive #c! Tommy source trauma

[juleteinthrum]

Working on a massive post involving the timeline of me and dib. Focusing on his first, then I'll do my timeline but like. *rubs hands together like a fly*

#finally. some good fucking food. content #zims stink #actually plural #invader zim #my dib #fictive #introject #lore #pseudomemories #source memories #source trauma #timeline #story building #osdd #actually osdd

[immortalsys]

Salvation - 'Dazai Osamu'

(Poem, original work)

TW Unaliving Attempt. Descriptive. (Also a dog dies)

-

The rope embraces me

Pulls tight

And it is much more warm, much more

Loving

Than any other touch

I've ever felt

I have ran after death

After I had seen

The relief, of that rabid creature

Laying slack in its own blood

And the drag burns, bright and hot

As the stovetop you've never touched

The table and chairs, dusty- ah,

Fetch me the maid, you'd say

And I would crave to be the bracelets

on your wrist

So I could follow you

So you could take me by the hand

And so I bind it tight

And imagine death, and she

Has no face, but if she had-

It would be yours.

I have run from the house

To catch up to death

To follow it into the deepest depths

And each glimpse I get, each last breath-

I swear I can feel it again

Just out of grasp, just a breeze

A coat you'd wear, a gust

A perfume I remember only stale

The creak of our doorway, of the bark

A screech of wheels, an apologetic smile

I would never return

So he would bow and lead me

to the library

And I could drown,

In books, in another reality

I kick the chair.

Hands grasp at my own throat.

It burns, and I am set aflame.

My ears are ringing, and I hear

My pathetic body beg to die

And there she is -

Black explodes, I burn and burn

And I am the rabid dog

I am the smoking gun

And the tears, they caress

My face in a gentleness I do not know

I'm swinging, and I'm hot, hot hot,

And it hurts, but that is unimportant

I can feel the breeze of a coat

Smell the dusty perfume,

Taste the honey, the nectar-

Just once, I give in

Pry open my eyes, sight blurry

I'm heaving, wretched sounds

of a sick kind

Nails scratching against my throat

My body, always the traitor, but-

In moonlight doused, salvation stands, and reaches for me, and her touch is

Kind, soft, pure, and I do not deserve

Such a goodbye

I shake in a pathetic manner

I burn at the stake, a fire set

Blazing, sharp, by my own hand

Gurgle up spit and blood

And I lose my sight, but I catch a glimpse,

And Death is as faceless as my mother.

- Daze

Im okay and safe. This is a memory;

Bonus:

You share the similarity

of always leaving

before it's over.

I awake once again and meet eyes

like my own.

He shakes his head in disapproval.

I cannot hear

his voice

over the screeching want.

#poem #original poem #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bsd #vent poetry #15 dazai #written by your fav dazai introject #did system #endos dni #traumagenic system #introject #headcanon #source memories #source trauma #first post #lol #we write poems sometimes

[obserbit]

Why is emh so heartbreaking why couldn’t Steph and Evan have their baby and live a happy life

#sobbing my eyes out #source trauma #coping #obserbit posting

[nabbit-unmasked]

TW: Venting and source trauma

Hate to say it, but I don't think I can watch Hazbin any further. The same might go for Helluva.

I mean this for whatever comes out in the future, not for whatever already exists in the current moment. In other words, I'll be able to rewatch current episodes, but not watch any new ones.

It's been causing me way too much stress and anxiety thinking about it from a kin perspective. I'm not going to let my mental health be dictated by whatever other people decide to do with my life and emotions.

It's very likely that things are going to crash and burn for me in BOTH shows, and the source trauma I'm dealing with right now is already too much. It's affecting my mental and occupational health as is, I can't add any more onto that.

This also means I won't be able to interact with the fandom any longer once new episodes come out.

The good news is that I'll probably be able to watch Helluva Boss again once things are sorted out with me and Blitz, but until then, I'm putting it on hold.

I love these shows very much, and I'm not leaving them behind, but I can't keep up with them. My story ended rather happily as Vox, and I intend to keep it that way. I'm also aware that I'm canon divergent, and whatever is decided for me in canon isn't necessarily true for myself.

This doesn't really concern anyone but me and no one is going to give a shit about this, but I needed to vent about it and also make a promise to myself that I will not watch S2 of Hazbin.

I'm gonna go to sleep with Val now. Have a nice day/night stranger on my phone <3

#tw vent #fictionkin vent #vent #vent post #source trauma #kin vent #fictionkin #fictionkin community #otherkin #alterhuman #nonhuman #alterhumanity #kin

[nyandela-catalogue]

tw religion, delusions, venting, paranoia, source trauma

-Mark📕

please please please work please i beg to God please forgive me for whatever ive done to upset you please im so sorry

ive tried praying and begging and pleading so why, i ask, must this happen to me so frequently

did i do something wrong before i got here? are all sins equal in the eyes of God? when will my punishment end?

i plead to you, God, please release me from this horrible cycle. i intended to stay dead after that alternate tore apart my friend. but i am here now.

please, God, forgive me for my past life’s sins. please forgive me for harming me and those around me. please forgive me for leaving him behind. please forgive me for every sin i have committed.

i never wanted to hurt Cesar. i never wanted him to get hurt. please.

this Cesar, i love him so, i care for him, he cares for me. and yet i am still punished with such a horrifying mind, full of fear and festering paranoid delusions.

the delusions of Them coming to Get Me. there is no safety anywhere except in the arms of Cesar.

i pray he will never leave me. i pray that God will not abandon me in my time of need again. i pray that i will be forgiven of all my misdeeds, of all my sins, of all the mistakes i have made. i pray to my God, my Lord, my Savior, that He will do His due diligence and ensure everyone is loved in this world that has no love.

i want to be happy. i want everyone to be okay. but im so, so, so scared. so scared of sickness, of death, of THEM. i know They will not have hesitation once They get ahold of me, and before i know it i may be gone from this Earth.

what land is holy if not for the gift of the soil we all stand upon. i hope to become one with the stars and the angels and my Lord once again, to return to the darkness i had instilled upon myself- but this time with peace and finality.

may God have mercy upon me soon. amen.

-Mark📕

#paranoia #delusions #religion mention #suicide mention #source trauma #vent post #og #mark post

[poognthebrainbois]

As an OC introject, I keep coming back to the thought of writing my source as a work of fiction from my point of view. This idea is complicated for me because of the other person involved.

My source was written by our host and their ex, whose character was the Main Character, and my best friend. My family. But this person, and their character, hurt us, hurt me, in extremely personal ways. I'm sure I'll post about it eventually.

Point being, I know if I decided to sit down and write this that I would make Her the villain. Without changing the details. If I told this story from my point of view, everyone would see the blatant manipulation much quicker than I did.

And a part of me really wants to share it for that reason. To get some kind of validation from strangers that it was obvious. That she was horrible and I was an idiot for not noticing. I'm still trying to prove to myself that I was hurt. That it was "that bad."

But I can't tell if this would actually be cathartic for me or if it would just send me spiraling all over again. I think it could be a passion project. I think it would mean a lot to me to get to "share my truth" or whatever, and have people enjoy it as a story, where they can fall in love with the characters and the worldbuild and the plot structure, and I can finally separate the "real life" pain from the pain of my source.

Interest wise, it's a tale of vampires and werewolves and magic. Of your typical idiot highschoolers that get way in over their heads. Of romance and betrayal. Of prejudice and fighting for what's right. I know I'd read it if it weren't already mine. If you like Buffy, My Babysitter's a Vampire, or hell, maybe even Supernatural, you might like this.

Maybe I'll write a couple scenes out of context and see if anyone bites. Let me know if this is at all interesting to any of you.

Thanks,

Lio

#dissociative system #did introject #did fictive #source trauma #Denial #vampires #gay vampires #werewolves #demisexual representation #magic #chosen one #prophecy #supernatural #oc writer #writers on tumblr #fantasy writing #worldbuilding #oc introject #vampire alter #vampire x werewolf #source separation #undead alter #did system #Lio's on tumblr again #endos dni

[burning-alliums]

It’s always “If you want to be a hero, die like one” until I actually want to. Then they decide to care all of a sudden.

#tw sui ideation #exotrauma #source trauma #pseudotrauma #tw suicidality

[bstroobery]

Our hosts: coffee drinkers. Love the stuff. Breathe the stuff. Adore the stuff.

Applejack: Absolutely traumatized by caffeine and has a panic attack when there is caffeine in the system while she is fronting

-🐹

#🐹 #applejack goes through some source trauma when caffeine is involved…. #btw if we made skimboards for some of our alters would people like those??? #IDK #sysblr #source trauma #Applejack be experiencing the horrors today

[sophieinwonderland]

Hey Sophie! So I thought I'd pop in to get your opinion/advice on something, just as a tulpa who's very invested in all this. We're a multigenic system and I'm working on a new tulpa; I'm basing him off a fictional character, so I've been extremely careful not to inflict his source trauma upon him or give him too many complex/distressing topics to think on, since he's still so vulnerable. But here's the kicker- we accidentally (unintentionally) introjected his wife during this, and she's extremely inundated with source trauma. Normally I would just let the two interact and hope that helps, but our new tulpa can barely speak full sentences at this point, nevermind go about comforting and assuring his source-wife on highly complex issues. (one of his first spoken sentences was asking for her, though, so at least we know he'll be glad to see her)

tldr, my question is essentially wondering how long I should "keep" him from handling heavy topics/situations, or at what point in his development it'd be safer for his psyche to take in harder info.

Source trauma isn't something we have much experience with ourselves, so I might not be the best person to ask on this.

But, IMO, a tulpa is going to be sharing a brain with the whole system regardless. Keeping him from his own source trauma is a good move, but cutting him off from other headmates who have experienced trauma might inadvertently make it more difficult to develop into a well-rounded person.

And I think that if he asked after his wife, maybe letting them talk would be a good thing. A lot of our personality is defined in relation to other people, so there may be an advantage in introducing him to someone he already has a relationship with.

Can you explain the situation to her before introducing them? Explain that he's not quite the same person she remembers, that he's still developing, and you don't want to overwhelm him with negativity at this point. Maybe letting them talk but asking that they avoid talking about harmful topics for now might help both of them. It can give her a distraction and something better to focus on, and it can give him someone he can connect with who can bring out more of his personality.

#plural #tulpa #tulpamancy #tulpas #plurality #endogenic #system #plural system #multiplicity #systems #endogenic system #source trauma #system stuff #tulpa creation #tulpa system #multigenic #pro endo #pro endogenic #actually a system #actually plural