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fanttasttica · 6 months

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I hate you more..

Rhysand x reader

Rhysand always knew how to get on your nerves. He was so good at it, that at some point, you started hating him for it., or as you thought. But as we all know, there is a thin line between hate and love..

warnings: nothing? (Feel free to corect me)

words: 3623

Author's note: At first, I thought I could do this and make Rhysand really evil, but I couldn't bring myself to it :D Sorry!

Rhysand, heir to the Night court, surely knew how to get on your nerves. He was bringing out the worst of you. He was provoking you endlessly, always having that smirk on his face. You wanted to punch him. At first, you really liked him. He was insanely handsome and seemed to care dearly about his friends, but one conversation with him was enough for you to change your opinion on him. He didn't once forget to insult you in some way. It doesn't matter if he insulted your intellect, your opinions, looks or other things, he just needed to do it. Like if it was necessary for his survival. His other friends were better, well you haven't talked to them that much and they were probably just ignoring you, but it was better than what Rhysand was doing. You sighed, knowing very well that you don't have a chance to avoid the High lord's son tonight. As if living in the Hewn city wasn't terrible enough, sometimes you had to endure boring balls, you had to pretend you were enjoying yourself, while trying to avoid certain people and never letting down your smile. You sighed, knowing pretty well, there wasn't a point in fighting it. You did not have the power to change anything and there was no chance your family would understand you and let you stay home, even only if it should be this once.

To this point, the ball was tolerable. You weren't having fun or anything like that, but you danced a few times, like your family wanted and then, they let you out of their clutches. You still had to remain in this hall, but since they did not specify where, you were hiding in the darkest corner you found. This was your favorite place. Usually, no one else was near there, since there was nothing else to do than listen to the muted music or get lost in your thoughts. And that's exactly what you were doing. You were lost in your thoughts, well to be precise, you were daydreaming about life you could have if you weren't stuck here, since your birth and probably for the rest of your life, when suddenly you heard a voice, two voices. “Are you sure no one is here?” someone giggled. You didn't know the first voice, but you knew very well who the other one belonged to. “Yeah, don't worry.” This wasn't good. Rhysand was here, not far away from you, in your hiding place and judging by the muffled giggles and other strange noises.. it was clear what he and his companion wanted to do here. You had to get out of here and if possible, unnoticed.

You had to think quickly, if you wanted to leave before he noticed you. Every second spent here was risky. First, you calmed your breathing and tried to figure out where exactly they were. The absence of light you usually welcomed was now troubling you. After you saw them, really close together and kissing, you noticed there was a little space between them and the wall. Was it enough space for you to make your escape? Well, there was the only way you could find out.. After a while, you decided to try it. Rhysand was slowly taking off the woman's dress and you didn't really have to see more of her or of him. You tiptoed over to them, holding your breath and trying not to look at them longer than it was necessary. You were almost out, before you heard a surprised scream, that made you stop and curse under your breath. You felt two pairs of eyes, watching you in shock. You turned at them and smiled like an angel. “Do not worry, I am on my way out of here..”

You started walking away faster, but something, someone, stopped you. “You are not going anywhere.” Rhys's grip on your arm was strong, there wasn't a point in trying to get out of it, but you still tried shaking his hand off. Well, it didn't go anywhere. Meanwhile that girl you saw before ran away past you, not caring how she looked. “Why were you spying on us?” You almost punched him for this. You raised your eyebrows in disbelief. “You think I was spying on you? Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't find you that interesting. Actually, looking straight to the Sun would be better than looking at you, when you are making out with some girl.” You couldn't believe he would think something like that. It was ridiculous. “Oh, don't be so jealous, my darling.” Another ridiculous thing, you only rolled your eyes at him and didn't bother to answer. “Let me go, Rhysand.” Struggling against his strong grip wasn't making any progress. It only made things worse, his grip tightened around your arm as he pushed you back in the corner where you two met a few minutes ago. Suddenly, you were in the same situation as the girl before, your back pressed against the wall and Rhysands face only a few centimeters from yours.

You didn't know why, but your heart started beating rapidly faster than it was usual. You were looking him in the eyes, not sure what to do now. “Are you sure you want me to let you go? Because it didn't look like that.” His lips brushed against your neck, planting soft kisses along the way. He was surprisingly gentle. His hands were traveling all over your body, as he pulled away from your neck and looked you in the eye, then on your lips, as if he was asking for permission. Permission you didn't give him. Shaking your head, you pulled away, finally woken up from that weird trance you were in. “I.. I.. You.. Don't ever do that again. Am I clear? I do not want this, I don't want you.” After you said this, he finally let you go, backing away from you, but he was still smirking. “I mean it, Rhysand. I hate you.” He chuckled and winked at you. “I hate you too, darling.”

After your last encounter with Rhys, you were avoiding him even more, if it was possible. What was worse is the fact that you were finding yourself staring at him, not knowing why. It was annoying. Sometimes, when he noticed you, he flashed a big smile at you, or winked at you, provoking you without any doubt, exactly like today. “After you saw another of his grins, you turned your head away and began to talk to another one of many people who were here, celebrating Highlord's son's birthday. Once again, you were in the ballroom, wearing a dress picked by your mother and chatting with people she found, as she would say, good enough for you. To be honest, they were only good enough for her. You on the other hand, couldn't imagine more boring people, so when Rhysand interrupted you, you almost wanted to thank him. “I am sorry for interrupting your conversation..” He looked at you. “But I want to ask Y/N for a dance.”

Obviously, you agreed to the dance. Not that you had much to say. How would it look if you would deny the High lord's son? Especially when it's his birthday today? During the dance, you were moving elegantly all around the dance room, not talking to each other, until he decided to break that silence. “By the way, you don't need to be thanking me for saving you. I am glad I could help you.” You bite your tongue, before you could say something rude. This isn't a place for you to curse him. When you did not answer him, he continued, “Did I tell you how awful you look tonight? That dress is awful.” You sighed and looked him in the eyes for the first time since he took you on the dance floor. “Every time you do something.. at least a little bit nice for me, you have to also ruin it by saying things like this. Why are you doing it?” For the first few meetings, you were being nice to him. You gave him a taste of his own medicine after a while, when you really had enough of his rude behavior. “Why wouldn't I? Maybe I just find your angry little face funny.” He shrugged. This answer wasn't enough for you, but it was obvious that he isn't going to tell you anything else, so you endured the rest of your dance in silence.

Over the next few months, many things changed. You didn't know how and why exactly, but the lady of Night was murdered with her daughter by people from the Spring court. And as a revenge, Rhysand and his father killed almost every member from the High lords of spring family. Actually, the only one who survived was Tamlin, who had become the new High lord. You didn't know him or his family, but something in you told you, that his brothers and father deserved their fate. The lady of Night was probably the nicest person you knew. She was more of a mother to you than a biological one. And who could hate her little daughter? It was a tragedy, but two good things came out of it. The first concerned the High lord, or rather the former High lord, who also lost his life. He was replaced by Rhysand, who you didn't see as much of now thanks to his new duties, which was that second good thing. Well.. If you were to be honest, you would have to admit that you started to miss him. Without your arguing, life here was rather.. boring. That was until your parents decided to find you a husband, so you could finally be useful for your family, as they would say.

You didn't allow yourself to believe your family would find someone at least tolerable for you, but they.. did. His name was Lucius. You two were not in love, but you started liking him, as a friend. And it was more than you were ever hoping for. Wedding was set to happen three weeks from now. The only thing missing was permission from the High lord, which your father had to ask for since you were part of a higher-ranking family and he should be back with it any minute now. You were sitting in your room now, when you heard a door slamming hard, it made you jump in surprise. And out of curiosity, you decided to go find out what made someone so angry.

As you made your way in your dining room, you saw your father with your father arguing out loud. “What's happening?” They turned to you, in annoyance. Your uncle scoffed at you and your father shook his hand in disappointment. “He didn't give me that permission..“ This caught you off the guard. “What, why?” You were understanding his motives. Did he really hate you so much, he was destroying probably your only chance at happiness? You were certain he knew that you got along with your fiance, well now ex-fiance, pretty well. One of his friends was a spy at the end. “And how should I know? Y/N.. Go to your room, practice your dancing and conversation skills. We will find someone new for you on the next ball.”

You felt a pair of eyes watching you almost immediately after you walked into the ballroom. You didn't need to look at Rhysand, you just knew it was him, so you decided to ignore him. After everything he had done to you, this was the worst and you have had enough. Unfortunately, he wasn't on the same page, because after a few minutes, he appeared right next to you, asking for a dance. And since your family was near and heard him, you simply couldn't deny him. It was almost a tradition. At every ball, Rhysand would try to piss you off, dance with you, insult you and then ignore you until the next ball. Well he was ignoring you and watching you closely at the same time, like now, when you took his hand and allowed him to take you on the dance floor once again.

Music started playing and you weren't wasting any time. If you have to dance with him, you could get some answers at last. “Why didn't you give my father that permission? I got it, you hate me, but this? This was over the line.” Your voice was cold, filled with rage you couldn't hold back anymore. At this point, you didn't care if you would make a scene in front of your family and other people. “He wasn't good enough for you. Plus we both know, you only saw him as a .. friend. If that is what you call people you know for only a month.” You chuckled and shook your head. “And who is good enough for me? And why do you think you have the power to decide that?” He shrugged and pulled you closer. “Well, I am the most powerful High lord, so..” This was undoubtedly true, you felt his power intensively, but somehow, you didn't feel frightened because of that. “And I am surely better than him.”

At first, you weren't sure if you heard him correctly. You blinked twice, giving him a chance to explain the meaning of his words to you. “I know I didn't actually act like it but.. I love you, Y/N. I always had. You are.. my mate.” After this, you stopped dancing, looking at him, as if he was insane, before you also finally felt the mating bond to fall in place. Maybe you should end your dance with him and then walk off to some empty room, where you could talk this out. Or maybe you should go right away, but the first thing that came to your mind was to turn away from him and run away.

He didn't let you go that easily. He started running after you immediately, shouting your name, but you weren't listening to him.. On your way, you bumped into many people, before you finally got out of the ballroom. The halls were empty, well almost. The few people who were standing here looked at you in shock. You didn't give them the second look as you continued running away with tears streaming down your face. Not quite sure if they were angry or sad, you were only sure they weren't happy. You were mad at Rhysand. You always thought he hated you. He was nonstop rude at you, he made you hate him and you thought he felt the same and now he was telling you this? After what he had just done? This seemed cruel, even for him. You weren't sure how or when you managed to run from him, but you didn't care much. The most important thing was that he isn't following you anymore. You walked slowly to your house, then to your room, where you locked yourself away from everyone.

To your surprise, your family wasn't scolding you the first thing in the morning. And you were sure, it was only thanks to Rhysand. Honestly, it was nice of him, but also the least thing he could do, after everything he had done in the past. During the night, you haven't got enough sleep. You couldn't stop thinking about what had happened and the same scenario was repeated the next night and also night after that. There were dark circles under your eyes as a proof of your tiredness, but you were very well aware that until you clear everything up and think about what you will do next, you won't be able to close your eyes in peace. And although you were trying, you couldn't think of the best way how to approach this.

Another day full of thinking was almost over, when you suddenly were snapped out of your thoughts by a short knock on your door. You stood up from your bed, you were laying on for the past week, not bothering to check your look in the mirror before opening the door. You were expecting to see your parents, but no. It was a beautiful blond girl, Morrigan, Rhysand's cousin. On her face was a sympathetic smile as she nodded to your room. “Can I go in?” Knowing pretty well, it would be rude to not let her, you backed off the way, let her in and closed the door behind her.

For a while, she was silent, walking slowly around your room, scanning it with interest in her eyes. Finally,s he turned to you. “You know why I am here.” You nodded. It wasn't that hard to guess, she probably came not to check on you, but to persuade you into giving Rhysand a chance. “Good.. I just.. I just want you to give him a chance to explain himself. You have every right to be mad at him, honestly I would be very surprised, if you weren't. And I also know that my word doesn't mean nothing at all, but.. I am sure you would change your opinion, only if you would listen to him for five minutes..” She sighed. “He is a good male, Y/N. Not many people can see it, because he doesn't allow them to see it, but he really is.” You did not respond right away, looking down on your carpet, you considered once again your options. You could refuse and remain mad at him, not speak to him ever again.. But you could have resorted to both of these things even after talking to him. In addition, you deserved some answers. Suddenly, your next move was clear.

After you change your clothes, you let Morrigan winnow you to Velaris, sometimes called Court of Dreams, as she told you. You were surprised that a city like that existed and remained secret to every Fae who did not live in it. As you found out, Rhysand had something to do with that. You saw it only briefly, but you fell in love with this place in a second, hoping that you will have the chance to explore its beauty later, but now, you had to focus on something else. You were standing in front of the door that led to Rhysand's office, calming your breath, before you finally knocked.

After hearing Rhysand's strong voice inviting you to go in, you didn't waste any second. You were afraid that you could change your mind, even though you were already here and deep inside you knew, this was the best thing you could do. You needed to hear his explanation. Rhysand was standing behind his big wooden table, with a concentrated and a bit worried expression. “Hello, Y/N. Thank you for coming.” You nodded, “Hello to you too.” He gestured on the chair, which stood opposite his, into which he had just settled. The only thing between you two was that table, full of papers. “Why did you do it?” He smiled a little at you. “Not wasting any time, are you?” You did not smile back, your face remained expressionless. He sighed and looked down. “Believe it or not, I was only trying to protect you. You know.. what my father was like. The bond snapped for me actually the first time we met and I panicked. Maybe I don't think he would try to kill you, but I am sure he would try to hurt you psychically.” He swallowed hard. “And I couldn't let that happen. That is why I put on that mask. I was behaving like I hate you, when in reality, you were my first and last thought every day. I tried to do anything to forget about you. Like that one time on the ball, where you caught me with that girl..” He shook his head and looked you in the eyes. “I know sorry doesn't erase the things I did, like practically canceling your engagement, or words I said to you in the past, but if you will allow me.. I will spend the rest of my life making up with you..”

You were looking at the male in front of you. You thought, you knew him quite well. Not that long ago, you thought he was a spoiled son of the ruthless High lord, not that different from his father. But now? You already knew this wasn't true. He did bad things, but he did them trying to protect you. Maybe he should have used a different way, but did it even exist? After a few minutes of silence between you two, you stood up, with Rhys following by your example. Without a word, you walked around the table until you were standing right in front of him. When you were looking into those gorgeous violet eyes, you knew that you no longer hated him. Actually.. You probably did not hate him for a while now, it just took a while to realize. You put one of your hands on his cheek, stroking it gently. “I love you.” After you said these three words, you could swear that you saw a thousand stars lit up in his eyes. He hugged your waist, pulling you closer, before whispering, “I love you more.”

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine #acotar series #a court of thorns and roses #rhysand x reader #rhysand imagine #rhys x reader #rhysand fanfic #morrigan #inner circle #acotar x reader #x reader

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justmeinadaze · 8 months

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Take It Out On Me Part 19 (Steddie X Plus Sized Reader)

A/N: Angst has once again entered the chat! Muahaha! No but for real this is angsty with emotions so proceed with caution. After talking with a few people I did forgo Steddie being intimate. Someone I talked to voiced my own concerns perfectly and I think it reflects in this chapter. Their goal is to protect the reader and make her feel good in every possible way. They don't see each other intimately in that way so it would feel out of place here. Thank you for all the people that participated in that poll and felt comfortable telling me their opinions!

This IS more an Eddie than a Steddie in this chapter.

Warnings: Daddy Steve and Sir/Master Eddie X Fem Sub Plus size reader, SMUT, Eddie wakes up the reader for sexy time, FLUFF, they love her, ANGST, lots of talk about Eddie and his trauma (child abuse), there not a lot of in-depth detail but he does talk about his feelings regarding his mother abandoning him and Wayne talks about the domestic violence she endured briefly and his feelings towards protecting his nephew. The boys do get into a fight with each other (verbally), Steve feels like he needs to protect the reader, Eddie gets a little rough with the reader in a sexual manner but Steve intervenes (very brief).

Word Count: 3853

The smell of cigarettes told you which one of them was on top of you, thrusting into you slow and deep as they jostled you from your sleep.

“Mmm…Sir?”, you groaned as you tilted your head towards the slight panting in your ear.

“Fuck, baby. G-go back to sleep. I can take care of you.”

The grip he had on your wrists tightened as he pulled his cock back till just his tip was inside of you before roughly thrusting back in.

“Goddamn. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I—mmm—I couldn’t help myself. You looked so beautiful as you slept. I was just going to kiss and suck on your neck but…” You moaned eagerly as his pace quickened. “…your pussy was so wet, Y/N. It was like your subconscious…knew it needed me.”

“I-I always need you.” Eddie mewled louder at your confession. “I love you.”

“I love you to, princess. Cum with me, baby, please.”

Anytime either of them said please or begged you in anyway it always turned you on more. To be reminded that they need you just as much as you them is a comfort that just sends you over the moon. Releasing his hold on you, you wrap your arms around his neck as you both climax at the same time, suffocating your moans in his shoulder as he grunts into your neck.

Leaning back on the pillow, you snuck a cursory glance at Steve who was still sleeping soundly. Eddie followed your eye line chuckling as he kissed your lips.

“Kid has always been a heavy sleeper, I swear. Do you need anything, sweetheart? Water?”

“No, Sir. I’m ok.” He grins as he rolls onto his back and you scoot closer to his side. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.”, he exhales as his eyes start to close. “Like I said…I just…you looked so…gorgeous…”

Your own smile grew as you watched him try to form words as he slowly fell into a peaceful sleep.

***

“Daddy, you are going to burn it.”, you giggle as you sit on the counter watching Steve read the instructions on the back of the pasta box he had bought from the store.

“How can I burn it? You just put it in the pan and let it simmer. Uh, what does simmer mean?” He turns towards the living room when he hears his friend snort out a laugh. “Shut up! Do YOU know what simmering is?”

Beaming at him, you tap his shoulder and turn down the heat on the stove. Eddie hurls his body over the back end of the couch when you guys hear a knock on your door that causes Steve to roll his eyes as you laugh.

“Hey Wayne.”

“Hey. Um, can I come in for a bit?”

“Yeah of course.” The metalhead waves his uncle inside the apartment and as soon as his eyes meet yours you know something’s wrong. “Everything alright?”

Steve feels your body tense and promptly goes into protective mode moving closer to your side as he turns to face Wayne. He doesn’t understand why you’re on edge but he knows you are and that’s all he needs to put him in that particular headspace to keep you safe.

“Um, sit down, son.”

Eddie’s demeanor finally caught up with yours as he straightened up his posture. “What’s going on, Wayne?”

“Did you guys know the fire made world news? Apparently, every paper wrote about it as a cautionary tale I guess. Since the world picked up on it, they’ve been following that suit those families filed against the mayor and his office. Uh…your names are in that deposition and they got a hold of it releasing the names of the people that were killed or hurt in the mall.”

“Ok? So, what’s the big deal?”

“Wayne…” All heads turned to you as Eddie’s uncle sighed. Jumping down from the counter, you made your way towards the metalhead with Steve cautiously trailing behind.

“Edward, your mom called me to ask how you were.”

His eyes scanned over his uncle as the man slowly backed up towards the window he usually smoked at and lit up a cigarette.

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her that you were hurt but Steven here got you out. I told her you both were doing better and you were happy.” You both exchanged another look before he continued. “She asked if she could talk to you…I told her that was up to you. She’s, um, coming down here in a couple of days. She wants to have dinner with you.”

You swore even though it was metaphorical you could still feel the wind of Eddie’s wall as it came up to enclose around him.

“Yeah, welp, you can tell her I’ll pass on that.”

“Eddie…” His angry eyes swiveled in your direction silently commanding you to be quiet.

“Son, I’m not going to tell you what you should do—”

“Good. Thank you for understanding.”

“BUT I think you should at least think about it. Maybe talk it over with Y/N and Steven here.”

“Wayne, I’ve thought about it. I thought about it since the day she fucking left. I’m not a little kid anymore and this choice doesn’t involve either of them. So, again, thank you but my answer is NO!”

The three of you exchange one final look before Wayne nods his head and Steve walks him out the door.

“Eddie—”

“Y/N, I would advise you to rethink that before you fully commit to opening your mouth.”

“Don’t talk to her like that, Ed. She’s worried.”

The metalhead chuckles sarcastically as he takes a long drag before tossing his cigarette out the window.

“This coming from the guy that talked down to her till senior year.”

“I grew up, Munson, and…I trust her.” Steve flashed you a soft smile before continuing. “Plus, I never did it to hurt her.”

“And I am?”

“You’re trying to shut her down so you can ignore talking about your mom.” Eddie shakes his head as he crosses the living room to leave but Steve quickly cut him off. “No. You forced me to talk about my dad when he flipped out and destroyed my stuff. I’m doing the same with you.”

“Oh. Alright.” The other boy threw off the hoodie he had been wearing and leaned against the back side of the couch as he crossed his arms. You turned off the stove and shuffled towards them but still out of the way. You honestly weren’t sure what exactly you should be doing or what to prepare for. You knew they would never physically hurt you like that but you weren’t sure if they would ever take swings at each other.

“Go ahead, Steven. Play Daddy with me and tell me what I need to do.”

“That’s different, Edward, and I know you know that. As your best friend, I also feel like you’re making a snap decision.”

“Oh, you feel. I see. I didn’t realize she was your mother to. Tell me, how did you feel when she abandoned you with your dickhead dad? Did you keep hoping like I did? Did it crush you even after dad went in that she still didn’t come back for you? How did you deal with that garbage feeling of feeling like trash nobody wanted?”

“I know you’re trying to make a point, Eddie—”

“Y/N— “, he growls in warning.

“But you keep forgetting Steve does know what that feels like. That’s what he’s trying to tell you. He understands.”

Eddie gets that; he really does but you both can see how much he’s struggling with his feelings at the moment.

“Move. Now.”

“I would give anything for my mom to stand up for me when it comes to my father. Growing up I just thought it is what it is but after the fire…Eddie, she didn’t even stay. He wanted to leave because Y/N stood up to him and she followed after him. So, yeah, I’ve felt that garbage feeling but SHE wants me.”, he gestures towards you. “Anytime I feel stupid or I feel like trash I remember we have her.”

Eddie’s glassy eyes met his for a moment. “Steve…move.”

“Let him go, Daddy.” He glances your way as you subtly nod and he does what you say, flinching as his friend slams the door behind him. Wrapping your arms around him, he holds you tightly to him. “You tried, baby. He’s calmer now then he was a few minutes ago. Let him think.”

############

That night you crawled into bed wearing the metalhead’s hoodie as Steve laid beside you gently caressing your face and hair.

“Are you ok, Daddy? Do you need anything?”

“No, baby, I’m alright. I’m just worried about him.”

“Yeah…me to.”

You both fell asleep in each other’s arms until the loud stomping of boots woke you up a little after two in the morning.

“Eddie?”, you called his name as you headed out into the living room, finding him in the kitchen chugging back a glass of water. His eyes widened when he saw you and he playfully threw his hands in the air causing the cup in his hand to shatter to the floor.

“Sweetheart! Na ah, it’s Master, baby. Goddamn, you always look sexy in my clothes.”

Steve skidded into the area assessing the situation and breathing a sigh of relief when it was just his friend. You, however, were extremely concerned as he drunkenly wobbled closer to you.

“Eddie, we were really worried about you.”

His palm reached out to gently touch your face before abruptly pinching your cheeks between his fingers.

“Don’t make me say it again.”

The other boy started to move forward but your eyes never left Eddie’s as you held up your hand to stop him. He needed this. Eddie needed to be in control of something and you were always so willing.

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

His lips crash down on to yours and you winced at the strong taste of alcohol that clung to him. Forcefully, he turned you around and held your back as he yanked down your panties, tossing them aside.

“Eddie, you’re not even going to lubricate her or anything?”

“Jesus Christ, Steve, I don’t hear the safe word coming out of her mouth and I assure you she’s probably wet enough. Now either shut the fuck up or go back to bed. She’s mine to. Right, baby?”

“Y-Yes, Sir.”, you whisper.

His ring lace fingers came down hard on your behind making you gasp.

“Louder!”

“Yes, Sir!”

As Eddie began unbuckling belt, Steve stepped in and shoved him away from you. “No! I don’t care what she says. You’re wasted and you have zero control right now, Eddie! I’m not going to let you hurt her. You want to take out your frustrations on someone do it to me!”

“Steve…”

“Y/N. No.”

“Yeah, Y/N. Daddy’s in charge, right, Stevie?”

“I’m one of the people in charge of keeping her safe even if that includes from you.”

“Oh, really, Daddy? She’s not safe from me right now?”, Eddie mocks. “Get off your high horse, Harrington. I’d never hurt her like that.”

“You also said you’d never leave her, Master, yet here we are.”

The metalhead growled as he glared at his friend. “I didn’t leave her. I went for a walk.”

“To a bar?”

“Am I not allowed to drink? I didn’t realize that was a rule we set up.”

“We agreed that we would be more open and talk to each other especially after the incident with Christian. She’s been worried about you all night! We both have.”

“Just because you saved my life, Steve, doesn’t mean you own me. I don’t fucking report to you. I’m not your fucking sub.”

The boy can’t help but laugh as he folds his arms over his chest. “Start acting dominate again and I’ll stop treating you like one.”

“You’re BOTH not acting dominate.” They turn your way to find you glaring at them. “Eddie, I understand that you are in pain and you’re afraid of talking to your mom—”

“I’m not afraid…”

“Don’t interrupt me!” He tilts his head as you sigh. “I’m sorry. Steve’s right. I’ve been worried about you and I know you’re hurting. You were right when you said this was your choice but we love you. Our opinion about this does matter. Just like with what happened when Christian came to town… And you.” You turn to address Steve. “Eddie and I can handle ourselves. He wants to go out and fucking drink he can but then he has to deal with the consequences like us being angry with him.”

“And while I AM both of yours, I know when to use my fucking safe word! You’re supposed to trust me, Steve. Those are Sir and Daddy qualities! Now, I am fucking exhausted so if you two want to keep fighting and picking each other apart then get the fuck out and do it somewhere else!”

With that, you stomp towards the bedroom and slam the door.

“Jesus Christ, I love that woman.”, Eddie sighs as his gaze shifts towards his friend. “Look, I’m, uh, I’m sorry, Steve. You’re right. I should have stayed to talk to you two but I fucking panicked, man. I reverted back to junior year Eddie Munson.”

“No. Junior year Munson was an asshole but the way you were before you left and just then…that was different…angrier.”

“Yeah. Maybe more of a 10-year-old, Eddie. I know you didn’t really know me yet around that time but…I waspretty fucking angry.”, he chuckles as he takes a seat at the table.

Steve heads for the fridge and the metalhead mutters a small thank you as he hands him a water bottle and sits across from him. The bedroom door flies open as you stomp back out, now wearing a pair of Steve’s shorts, and throw your body into the chair next to Eddie’s.

“I can’t sleep without you guys and I don’t like going to bed upset.”, you grumble making them smile. Glancing between them, you realize the energy has shifted to a much calmer one.

“That first night she didn’t come home, my dad was furious. He always accused her of cheating on him so he thought he finally had proof and kept talking about how when she got home she was ‘gonna get it’. After the second day, he went looking for her and came up with nothing. The third day, he went to the police station and they did what they could at the time but they assumed like the rest of the town did… that she ran.”

Your arm looped through his as you tangled your fingers with his own to hold his hand.

“A week after she vanished, Wayne got a letter from her saying that she was safe and that she would come for me when she had things in order. I was so excited that she was okay and packed a bag, trying to be prepared for when she was ready. Six months passed and we still hadn’t heard anything. My dad drank and came at me more since she wasn’t there.”

You clung to him tighter and in response he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“One night, the fucker decided he was going to steal a car and go find her. An officer appeared at our door a few hours later with Wayne. When he went to trial, he didn’t even look my way…but I didn’t care because I thought ‘Hey! Now my mom can come home.’” Eddie chuckled under his breath before he continued. “It’s funny. I think even though I knew she was gone there was still a part of me that waited for her.”

“Did you ever stop?”, Steve asked in a gentle tone.

“Um, yeah…about two years ago when you came back from New York, Y/N. It’s going to sound fucking weird but…you left for two months. I kept thinking ‘Shit. She’s either not coming back or if she does she’s not going to want us anymore.’”

“Eddie…”

“But you did come back AND you wearing my jacket.”

“I wore your jacket the entire time I was there and fell asleep in Steve’s shirt. I wanted you two close to me.”

“Why didn’t she do that for me? We weren’t even technically dating yet, Y/N, but you still called and you came back. You thought about us enough to wear our clothes and bring us gifts. Two assholes, you barely even knew!” You softly smiled when he laughed until his shoulders shook and his laughter shifted to tears. “I was her fucking son.”

You climbed into his lap and hugged his head to your chest as he cried. Eddie’s arms hugged you tightly and Steve came around to do the same with you both as he leaned his head on his friend’s shoulder.

#############

“Hey, Y/N. Come in, come in.”, Wayne ushered with his hand after you knocked on the trailer door. “You know you don’t have to knock, sweetheart. You’re welcome here anytime.”

You grin at his kindness as you sit down on his sofa and wait for him to do the same.

“After some frustrated words and Eddie being Eddie…”, you chuckled and his uncle smiled. “…he asked me to make the choice for him to see his mother or not. He, uh, said he trusted my judgement and if I didn’t think he should go then he wouldn’t.”

“What did you decide?”

“I wanted to talk to you first.” His eyes widen in amusement as he tips his head towards you and smiles. “He’s only told me so much and I never push him. Last night, he told us about when she left and vaguely told us what happened with his dad between that point and when he ended up in jail.” You sigh as you look his way. “What was she like before she left?”

“Hm. She was a good woman or at least I thought so. She adored that kid especially when he was a baby. Lynn would always have him in her arms anywhere she went in the house. Sometimes she would sing to him and he would look up at her with those wide eyes like…” You laughed as Wayne mimicked his infant nephew. “As he got older, it became harder for her to hide my brother’s behavior. She tried her best, always taking Eddie out to the movies if she knew he would come home drunk or bringing him here to stay with me so she could go home and handle him. Honestly, Y/N, when I look back I feel like I should have known. The day before she left she asked me if anything ever happened to her would I look after Eddie instead of Allen. I told her of course, you know. I’d protect that kid with my life.”

“Wayne, why do you think she didn’t come back for him?”

He sighs heavily as he stands and opens his front door, lighting a cigarette as you wait for him to answer.

“I don’t know. I really don’t and quite frankly…and selfishly… I was glad she didn’t after my brother went in. Boy’s life was hell for those six months and Allen never let me in. Every time I tried to check on Eddie, he said he was fine. That they were both fine and for me to butt out.” His sad eyes look you over as you come to stand beside him. “He doesn’t tell me about that time either and like you I don’t push him. Eddie gives me tidbits here and there for me to piece together some narrative but… I tried to give him a better life…do whatever I could to make up for what he went through.”

“You definitely did.” You softly smile in his direction. “I see a lot of you in him. He’s so sweet and the perfect gentleman.”

“Pfft, he better be.”

“More than anything I love how he sees me. Just like Steve, Eddie doesn’t see a weak, pathetic, nerdy fat girl. He sees a strong, confident, beautiful woman with extra curves.” Your grin grows when Wayne laughs. “You never saw a broken, bad little boy did you?”

“No. God no. I saw a good kid who, while he can’t still, has an active imagination and a good heart. I think that’s why him and Steven got along so well. The first time I met him, I half expected, well, Bill.”, he chuckles. “But he was extremely polite and wore his heart on his sleeve. All be it, a little to…”

“Aggressively?”

“You could say that.”, he smiles as he blows out a puff of smoke. “You, young lady, surprised me. The first time he told me about you, I didn’t think you were real.”

You couldn’t help but cackle at his assessment as you looked at him with confusion.

“Sweetheart, I swear to God, he described you like a one of his characters in his game. Like you were a princess locked in a tower or something! But over the last three years, I’ve watched him with you and vise versa. You’ve helped him in more ways than one and…I appreciate that.

You opened your arms wide as you leaned forward to give him a hug.

“Thank you, Wayne. Not just for everything you’ve done for me but them to.”

***

When you came home, you found Eddie in bed with his headphones on as heavy metal blared into his ear while he drummed his fingers absently on his stomach. As you crawled onto the bed, his eyes shot open as he quickly removed the device from his head.

“Hey. Hey. You’re home.”

As he started to sit up, you gently pushed him back down and laid your own head under his chin. His arms promptly wrapped around you as he moved some of your hair to kiss your forehead. You didn’t say a word as your eyes met his, staring at each other in comfortable silence.

“I talked to Wayne today about your mom.” Your palm rose and fell against his chest as he sighed through his nose. “You trust my judgement and I trust his. Besides your dad, he knew her better than anyone. He’s…going to call her and set up a dinner at the trailer.” Placing your hand on his cheek, you caress his skin with your thumb.

“The three of us will be there to; Wayne, Steve, and me. After what he told me, I think you should talk to her but I’ll be damned if I’m leaving you alone with her.”

Eddie’s beautiful lips stretched into a wide smile as he leaned forward to kiss you.

“I wasn’t going to hurt you last night. I promise I would never—”

“I know. I know, baby.”

“I’m glad Steve stopped me though. It’s very rare I push back into that particular headspace.”

“I’m here for you, Sir. No matter what.”

###########

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@paleidiot @mrsjellymunson

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creedslove · 3 months

Note

omg I had this dream of Marcus Pike where he and me were very good friends and I started to develop feelings for him but all of a sudden Teresa appeared and gave me a speech that caused me to wake up in tears.

I wish he was with me in real life and brought me to his arms and kissed my forehead. I was so heartbroken after I woke up and for what? 😭

ps. I hope you have a good day, Mari. I love your works and the effort you put to make them. you're literally my favorite person on this planet <3

Marcus Pike x f!reader

A/N: Omg I love your dream even if it's sad, it's still a great dream baby because I love dreaming of Pedro boys, in fact, I dreamed of Dave last night that I was pretending I was gonna kill myself because he was with Carol and his girls and then this afternoon I took a nap and dreamed I was BEGGING Joel to fuck me and he ignored me lmaof

• the hardest part of being close to Marcus was not loving him, in fact, for you, it wasn't just the hardest part, it was impossible

• but it wasn't really your fault, not when marcus in addition to being around, he was just the whole package: he was handsome, successful, kind, intelligent and the worst part was that he seemed not to be able to see that, one failure marriage wasn't a declaration of being a bad partner but somehow Marcus couldn't understand that

• he just fell in love hard and fast and very often with the wrong woman, because even if you didn't want to come off as obsessive and jealous, you could feel they wouldn't be able to love and treat him the way you did

• so it wasn't that surprising when he came to you looking so excited and happy to know he'd met another agent called Teresa and they seemed to really hit off; they'd been out for pancakes and on a couple of dates too and you felt your heart sink

• Marcus went out and found someone else, someone who wasn't you, and yet he was still the sweetest and most loving friend you'd ever had

• your opinion, companionship and presence were so important to him, so of course he would introduce you to Teresa and even if you were hurt and upset, you went there with an open heart, wanting to at least get along with the woman who was with the man who mattered the most to you

• but of course the antipathy between the two of you was immediate and there was nothing that could change that; you and Teresa managed to be civil and polite around Marcus, but she stared at you with the same despise as you watched her, she felt uncomfortable with your presence as much as you felt it with hers and so on

• what bothered you the most was how indifferent she seemed to be, it was always as if she wasn't really there or wasn't really paying attention to what Marcus said; overall, it was always as if Marcus was way more into her than she was into him and it bothered you, because you knew he was bound to get hurt

• when you found out about his promotion, you felt you could explode into a million pieces out of excitement and pride in him, he'd worked so hard for it, he deserved every single acknowledgement he got, but at the same time you were happy for him, it pained you to know he'd asked her to go with him and not only that, he proposed to her as well

• it hurt you to see how she hesitated every time he mentioned moving to DC or getting married at all, because you would've said yes to him in a heartbeat, you would've dropped everything in order to go with him, because unlike her, you loved and cared for Marcus

• everytime you saw him, it was a reminder of how Marcus would move on without you, he didn't love you the same way you did but you still decided to stay and help him with all the details; you helped him pack his bags, you helped him pick an apartment, always daydreaming about a life that wouldn't be yours after all

• and even if Teresa wasn't so sure about her future with Marcus, it bothered her you were around all the time, it bothered her how you looked at him with heart eyes and perhaps it bothered her that you could see right through her hesitation and lack of passion, so she had enough, thinking it was about time she put a stop on it

• when she got to Marcus' place to have dinner with him but found you instead, she frowned annoyed

"what the hell are you doing here?!"

"I came to help Marcus finish his bags just like he asked me to... He asked me to keep his base until he settled in DC and I could send it over"

"you don't get, do you?! I am Marcus' girlfriend, in fact, I'm his fiancee, not you! Why can't you see that? Why do you pretend you don't see he doesn't love you? He doesn't care about you the way you want! Marcus loves me! I'm gonna marry him, be his wife and maybe we will even have a family. Quit living this childish dream of thinking he is your prince charming, if he wanted you, you would be together by now!"

"Teresa?!"

• Marcus' voice interrupted her speech, and you watched at the two of them in horror to realize he had just stepped in in time to hear everything Teresa had said, you didn't have words to argue back, it killed you to know that there was a large chance she was right

• you swallowed hard and tried not letting them see the tears flooding in your eyes, but it was too late. Even if Marcus called your name and tried going after you, you couldn't stay and face him, you felt so embarrassed at that moment

• Teresa prevented Marcus from going after you, she was glad that at least now you would leave them alone and Marcus just hoped he had made the right choice by not going after you

____

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal headcanon #pedro pascal headcanons #marcus pike #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x y/n #marcus pike fanfiction #marcus pike fanfic #marcus pike headcanon #marcus pike headcanons

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arabellasleopardcoat · 10 months

Note

Hi babe, congrats on your milestone!❤️

It's so hard to pick between all these choices😩

Would you please write for Harwin Strong - spanking🧎🏻‍♀️

Win some, lose some (Harwin Strong x Reader)

Summary: Harwin and his wife have a disagreement over communication skills. The end result is exactly as the title says.

Warnings: Mature language. Spanking. Established dom/sub dynamics. Light aftercare. I'm not sure it counts as smut but smut?

Requested: Yes! I get it, tough choices. Hope you enjoy!

A/N: Due to a mistake on my part, I did not erase the space for spanking on time. I got two requests. So, Alicent anon, don't worry. I will write yours too, but I will try to space it out to not post two similar fics.

You sit on a small armchair by the fire with a sullen expression. Nerves pool on your stomach, but they are quickly won over by the feelings of annoyance. You have been told you will get punished after he is done working, but you are more angry than scared. You did act out to get his attention, and even then, Harwin cannot even pretend to care. He is just treating your punishment as another task in a long list he has to fulfill before going to bed.

Harwin sits at his desk, going over something that has countless numbers and math. A budget, most likely. You know the Master of Coins has been pressuring the gold cloaks into tightening their belts, or so to speak.

The transition of leadership has not been an easy thing. Many of the men were loyal not to their cause, protecting the citizens of King’s Landing, but to their previous Commander.

You do not begrudge Harwin for taking the position. It was an honorable one, being the Lord Commander of the City Watch. It spoke of the trust both his father and the King had in his abilities at combat and leadership. Yet… You can’t help but feel that the change has taken its toll on your marriage.

He is always busy. Gone are the days that you would spend lazing around in bed or curled together by the fire. Or even the days Harwin took you for a ride or hunt. Now, he comes to your shared rooms at odd hours, and gets up every day at the crack of dawn.

You try to remind yourself that Harwin is a busy man, and that his attention and opinions are required elsewhere. The men need him to direct the training exercises, the council wants his input for the security of the King as he visits the small folk. It’s a good thing.

You squirm in your seat, pouting. Harwin looks up from his papers and tuts.

“Don’t. You will only get yourself in more trouble if you keep pouting.”

“I just don’t think I deserve to be punished.” You answer, bravely. And it’s the truth. You don’t feel like you deserve a punishment. Why did you have to obey his silly rules when he was not there to witness the consequences of your disobedience? What was the point, even? Harwin was never home.

“I doubt that’s your decision to make. If it depended on the rule breakers, all the cells would be empty.” Harwin’s voice was collected and calm. Cold, even. Yet, it was not that what made your blood boil. His words were. The comparison. It reminded you of the reason all of this started. Why did he have to bring work into everything? It seemed that even in your time together, he was not fully present. He simply cared more about his job than he cared about his wife.

“… You said I was allowed to stay in your study if I didn’t distract you.” You retorted, gritting your teeth. Your whole face was heating, not in shame but anger. Your ears were burning, your neck felt hot, and you were about to do something that you would really regret. Closing your eyes, you breathed in deeply.

“And what did you do?” Harwin put the parchment and quill down. He looked at you for the first time. His expression was unreadable. You thought of getting up and grabbing that dammed budget and tearing it to pieces.

“I was not distracting you! I was only… Playing with myself.” And what if you were? Really. It could hardly be called that. You had only been squeezing your thighs together. And perhaps rolling your hips a little. “And I never touched myself!”

Why did you have to obey his silly rules? He was never here. The prohibition for touching yourself had started as a fun way to spice up your bedroom activities. Harwin enjoyed your neediness, when you had not been touched for a while. You suspected he also enjoyed the idea of being the only one that got to touch you in such a way.

Before, it had not been hard to comply. As any self-respecting young maiden, fearful of the Seven, you had never even approached a hand towards your cunny. Only for washing yourself, and never lingering or exploring too much.

Harwin had been the one who had introduced you to the pleasures of the flesh. It had been him who had encouraged you to explore all the wondrous feelings your body had to offer. Doing it without him seemed silly. You had touched yourself at his instance, and found great pleasure, but it was not the same that when it was his hands on your skin.

But after nearly a month of not being able to have sex with your husband, you understood exactly why you would want to please yourself. You craved the release. Even if you knew it would not be the same, you were so desperate, any peak would be better than no peak. Even if it were one brought on by yourself.

It was hardly your fault. Anyone would feel aroused after nearly a month with only stolen kisses to get you by. The sight of your husband in only a linen shirt and pants, bent over his desk had been too much. Watching as the muscles of his back flexed, how his big hands swallowed the quill he was using to take notes. All that, mixed with the goblet of wine you had been nursing and the fact that Harwin had handed you his cloak to keep warm. Surrounded by his smell, inhibitions lowered by the wine, it was a miracle you had not jumped his bones yet.

You felt like you were burning up with need. So you squeezed your thighs a little, and rubbed against the edge of your chair. You didn’t try to be subtle, secretly hoping that the sight of your neediness might entice him to do something about it.

“That’s hardly better, little one. You were purposefully looking for loopholes.” Harwin said, oblivious to your thought process. He wore a stern expression that made you want to fold immediately.

A month, you reminded yourself. You had been feeling alone for a month.

“I know, but you had not been paying attention to me!” You complained, steeling yourself. This was a discussion you truly wanted to have beyond brattiness. It had not only been the lack of marital duties, but you missed spending time with him.

It comes out whinier than you intended. Much more pitiful, too. You don't realize, but Harwin's mood immediately shifts, from playful to serious. He can tell this is truly bothering you.

Harwin pulled his chair back and spread his legs slightly. Your mouth nearly watered at the sight of his thighs spread in a pose that was so dominant.

“Come here.” He ordered, brows pinching together. You didn't want to, knowing only punishment could await from your defiance. But you still did. Once you were in front of him, Harwin caressed your cheek with his thumb. “Was my poor wife feeling neglected?”

To your horror, your eyes started to feel watery.

“You spend all your time with the gold cloaks. Never with me.” Then, in a whisper so small, it tugged at Harwin's heartstrings. “Do you not want me anymore?”

“I had not noticed you missed me so.” He confesses, pulling you into his lap. His touch is gentle, as always. His hands feel warm and solid against your waist. You straddle one of his thighs, still pouting. Harwin pulls you even closer. “I will make time for you, from now on.”

“Thank you.” You mutter shyly on his neck. It's what you needed to hear. You stay on his lap for a while, cuddling in silence. The steady thump of his heart and his warmth comfort you. It's something you have deeply missed.

Despite wanting nothing more than just curl into his lap and sleep the night away, you still feel restless. Your button throbs between your legs, wanting attention. You cannot help but wonder what it would feel like, getting ravished by your husband after so long. How his hands would feel on your skin, deliciously calloused. How his face would pinch in the sweetest agony. How he would sound, entering you.

Would he be capable of sliding right in, with how wet you are? Or would Harwin have to open you up as he had done on your first night together?

You squirm. Harwin, thinking you are uncomfortable, shifts you to sit properly on his lap, resting his forehead on top of your head. The casual display of strength makes even more wetness gather between your thighs.

“Are you alright, Wife?” Harwin starts running his hand over your hair, soothingly. He is unable to see your expression, and you are glad for it. You are so embarrassed it's starting to be physically painful. Here is Harwin, trying to comfort you, and you can't think of anything else but getting him into bed.

"You are much too pretty to be shedding tears over the likes of me. I apologize, for being so lacking lately. I have been paying so much attention to my duties with the King and forgotten about my most important ones.”

“Harwin…” That he regrets it had not even crossed your mind. Too blinded by your feelings, you had never thought about how your outburst would make him feel.

“As your husband, I made a vow. To be always yours. To protect you. I have not fulfilled either of those duties, being so far away.” He whispers, very quietly. You want to reassure him, but are unsure how.

“You always come home to me.” You go back to your previous position, straddling his thigh, to be able to look him in the eyes. It breaks your heart. His brown eyes are all hurt puppy.

“Perhaps physically. But my mind is still away, even when by your side. It's not right. You are my Lady. Mine to cherish. I have been a poor husband to you.” And it is true. You had thought about it, using much harsher words. Harwin clearly didn’t mean to hurt you, but you had been trying to rile him up on purpose. It makes you feel awful. You don’t want him to feel bad about himself, you just wanted to air out your frustrations.

“Never say that. Never.” You muttered, fiercely, touching your forehead to his. “I have never thought you a bad husband.”

“Only because you are too kind. I will do better, Wife.”

You sigh, knowing it's no use contradicting him. Instead, you pull him in for a kiss, hoping he can hear all you cannot say. The kiss starts to get heated very soon, his hands grasping greedily at your hips. It has been a month since you had the time to do more than just kiss. Time to play one of your games. Both of you crave it, need it.

As you pull apart, you give him a naughty little grin.

"I still broke your rules.”

Harwin chuckles. His eyes have turned dark, pupils blown with lust.

“Dirty girl. Do you want a punishment?”

“Yes, please.” You look up at him, all starry eyed. Perhaps he will tell you to spend the night on your knees, serving him. Or perhaps you will have to obey his every command. Or, if you are very lucky, you will get to peak over and over until you pass out.

Your breath hitches in excitement. You can't wait.

“Over my lap. Hike up your nightgown.”

The words burst your bubble immediately. Your shoulders slumped and you went back to pouting. Spanking was not what you had expected. While the physical side of it was fun, a little pain to go with your pleasure, it always wore you out mentally. There was something about it that left you feeling very vulnerable.

You understood why Harwin did it, though. It was an easy way to put you in your place. Spanking you in such a manner tugged at your subconscious. It was the manner in which children were punished. He doesn’t need harsh words or much pain to force you into submission. In fact, it stings even more when he does so with gentle words. You feel silly, after it. Harwin will coo and call you his good girl, and you will melt for him and do as he says.

"But… But…” You protest, despite knowing it’s useless.

“You thought you would get something else?” Harwin asks, carefully tucking your hair behind your ears. His hands almost swallow your face. It gets you all shy. “My poor wife. Where did all your intelligence go? You know you did a poor job of communicating your needs. Instead of telling me of your loneliness, you threw a tantrum."

“I… Harwin…” You plead, looking up at him. You are not sure what you are begging for. For Harwin to guide you, perhaps. You feel helpless.

“Over my knee.”

Faced with the choice, you cannot bear the thought of disappointing him further. He is right, in a turnabout way. You could have done things different. In another life, a perfect one, you would have knocked the door to his study and asked to talk. You would have sat, like two adults, and told him you were frustrated because you missed him. Instead, you had mixed the games the two of you play with your real anger, turning into a bratty mess.

You want to fix things. To not have to think, anymore. You take off his cloak and fold it neatly. Then, you hike up your nigh shift and lay down on his lap. You rest your hands on the floor, stretching to be able to do so.

“Don't. You could hurt yourself.” Harwin rubbed your arse, gently. Warming you up. Then, without warning, his hand came down. You nearly shrieked. The sting was harsh, yet he seemed unwilling to let up. His hand came down again and again, in the same spot. You knew Harwin, though. Soon, it was not only going to sting. He liked building you up to it.

His hand moves to your other cheek, spanking you with a slightly curved hand. It hurts differently, that way. It allows him to feel the overheated skin, how the flesh wiggles with each impact.

Shame curls around your spine, twisting your stomach. You are still wet. It’s a deeply humiliating feeling. You are unable to think clearly, your mind slow and weary. As if you were treading through molasses.

“I will not make you count, but you have to behave. No trying to get away.” Harwin warned, before spanking you again. This time, you started wiggling your toes in discomfort, fighting the urge to kick and scream.

Your bottom feels already hot and abused, but Harwin is not letting up. You are really starting to hurt. Your vision starts to blur, and you try to grasp at the carpet, fighting to stay afloat. It’s no use, no use at all. Soon you are weeping with all you have.

“Are you going to stop being a good girl for me?” Harwin asks, rubbing soothingly at your shoulder blades. It’s only then that you realize you have been wiggling around, trying to get away from the pain.

“I’m… Har-…Harwin… Sorry.” You blubber, unable to form the sentence right. You want to speak, but you are crying too hard for it. You feel dumb. Look at you, a noble lady with access to the best education Westeros has to offer. You had the best tutors, a Septa all to yourself. An education fit for a Princess. Yet, you can’t create a single sentence, overwhelmed by your feelings.

Too big feelings, Harwin had called them once. You were, after all, a silly girl who needed her husband to guide her. Sometimes, your feelings get the best of you and make you unable to think clearly.

That was why you liked these games. Submitting quieted all the voices in your head. There was nothing except obedience requiring your attention. Harwin made all the tough choices and took care of you, and you could focus on only being.

“You are doing so good.” Harwin whispered, as he rubbed at the already abused skin. You hated how much it made you preen, getting praised. “So good for me. Just a little longer, and we will be done.”

You slump on his lap, defeated. The hits keep raining on your vulnerable behind, and this time you are unable to quiet down. You whine, and weep and scream, but do not move an inch. You are sweating with the effort from keeping still, and there is nothing you want more than to bang your palms against the floor in a fit of rage. But you do not. You keep still and focus on being good for Harwin.

Your mind slows down. There is nothing but the pain, and breathing through it. Like being submerged in syrup, thoughts barely form before sinking heavily. You blink, trying to focus, but are unable to. There is only Harwin.

His smell, his hands so big against you. His warm thighs under your stomach. His erection pressing against you, the way he sounds, excited little inhales at each hit. How he times them, alternating the placement in a predictable two-one count. Reliable. To care for you, hold you down, push you when you need him too.

Time drags on. Perhaps it’s only a few minutes, or perhaps hours pass. You are unable to tell. Harwin lowers you gently to the rug and lays down beside you, careful not to press into your arse.

“How are you?” He asks, tenderly brushing your tears away. You blink up at him, hazily. Still trapped in molasses, the words seem uttered from far away. You sniffle.

Harwin smiles at you. You don’t feel capable of speaking just yet. With great effort, you raise your hand and brush his cheekbone. He leans into your touch.

“I see, I see.” Harwin chuckles, and pulls you closer to him. You go willingly, nearly purring in contentment.

You drift off like that, head on his chest, nestled close to his heart.

#harwin strong x reader #ser harwin x reader #harwin smut #harwin x reader #harwin x you #harwin strong smut #harwin breakbones #harwin strong #ser harwin breakbones #ser harwin strong #cristi's bingo #sir harwin #harwin breakbones strong

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comicallylargemango · 4 months

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Senku I. X Reader! !!

Fictype: songfic

Genre: fluff

Warning: none

A.N: h IM BACK!! With a Senku Ishigami fic!!! He has been plaguing my mind for a month so ermm ywah

Aslso N/n means nick name

HAPPY STONE DAAAYYYYYYYY

★I've rejected affection, for years and years.

At this point everyone knew Senku ishigami was a man of science, he had no time for such illogical things like love. but fate disagreed.

★Now I have it and damn it, it's kind of weird.

When you had first told Senku the words, "I Love You" he was quite shocked, in a good way, of course. a feeling of warmth and affection rose from the dark, mechanical depths of his heart. No one had ever told him that directly, though he knew from their actions and and body language, everyone had their own way of saying I love you, be it platonic or romantic.

It was only natural that he'd be tongue tied when he heard the words "I Love you." Come from your lips. He was hesitant to say it back, the three words feeling foreign 'n weird in his mouth. Never would he have thought he'd say them.

★He tells I'm pretty,

He however, is indifferent to to looks. He doesn't care about the way someone dresses, or how he dresses for that matter. He knows he looks fine.

But for some reason, whenever you were around, he found himself more conscious of his looks and mannerisms. At first he thought it might've just been hormones but never had he felt that way before, so his second thought was you. At the beginning, when you two had first met, he was... Uninterested, to say the least. But as time grew on, he found himself hyper aware and overly embarrassed whenever he did something even just slightly off character Infront of you.

★Dont know how to respond.

When you complimented his knowledge in science, it... Made him feel better, more confident. It wasn't the first time someone had complimented him before but hearing it from you just sounded better, sweeter in his ears. So much so that whenever he'd finish his projects or experiments, he'd always look for your opinion first, his first thought when making something amazing was you.

★I tell him that he's pretty too,

So it was only natural he'd start reciprocating, after all. He isn't some self centered prick, he knows feedback and constructive criticism is important. Though he was a bit hesitant of saying it out loud at first.

"Yo. Y/n." He greets you from behind. Looking at the project you had finally finished. It wasn't overly amazing or perfect, it was fine, it was... You. (In his own words.)

"Heya, Science Guy." You looked over your shoulders to greet him, smiling softly as you wiped your sweaty forehead.

Senku stood beside you, examining it for a while before turning to look at you, hesitating for a while. "Good job, N/n. I'm ten billion percent sure you're getting an A."

★Can I say that? don't have a clue.

He was patiently, (nervously, though he'd never admit it) waiting for your answer. It wasn't usual for him to give out compliments or anything of the sort.

But the way your eyes lit up, the upward curve of your lips, and the way you puffed out your chest and stood straight with confidence?

Yep, he'd have to start complimenting you more often.

"Thanks! Senku."

★With every passing moment, I surprise myself.

At first he doesn't notice it, all the acts of service and words of affirmation he gives to you completely fly over his head. It was only when Gen pointed it out that he finally realised.

"Isn't it so strange?" Gen nudges at Senku with his elbow.

Senku looks up at him in confusion. "What's strange?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Mmm, I don't know. Maybe the way you're a lot more affectionate towards Y/n-Chan than towards anyone else?" He teased, feigning innocence and curiosity.

"Dunno what you're talkin about." Senku shuts him off bluntly.

Gen has an evil smile on his face. "Oh? Then what about that gift you gave them two days ago?Or the week before that? Or when you complimented their technique despite everyone else doing just as well?" He smiles wider.

Senku facepalms, looking at Gen with an uninterested expression. "That's because it's important to reward people for their hard work, Gen."

"And it's because they have been working harder than others."

"Hmmm, is that so~?"

★I'm scared of flies, I'm scared of guys.

When Senku first acknowledged his feelings, they were small, like the bud of a flower waiting to bloom.

But when the petrification happened, the dark void gave his feelings time to ferment and grow stronger. Aside from counting every individual second, you were constantly plaguing his mind, despite his best efforts, sweet images of you and Him constantly threatened to reset the count. But somehow, he managed.

★Someone please help..

And as he broke out of the stone prison, his condition only worsened, (by condition; I mean him wanting to see you again so badly) the many memories you both had together had been modified by his feelings for you and turned sweeter, overly romanticised, if you will.

★Cause I think I'm falling inlove this time,

And it didn't help with the fact that practically everything reminded you of him.

Whenever he needed flowers for dye, boom bam a million memories of the few times he touched your soft skin.

Whenever he saw the sunrise, it reminded him of your smile, the way your eyes would shine whenever he complimented you.

★i blinked and suddenly I had a valentine. (Valentine)

It was all so surreal to him, how he managed to fall in love. someone like him, falling inlove? If you told the Past Senku he woulda laughed in your face, and then go on a rant about how illogical love is blah blah yada yada yada.

But he wasn't complaining, who would complain about having a valentine?

♪ ♪ ♬

★What if he's the last one I kiss?

You remember it like it was yesterday, the first time you'd have kissed Senku. Though it wasn't hot and steamy like how the forbidden part of your brain thought it'd be. It was more or less, awkward. But sweet nonetheless.

"Sseeeeeeeennnnnkkkuuuuuuuuuu. . ." You poked at his face, trying to pry his attention off of his experiment.

"aaaaaaAAAAAAAAA. What is it now, N/n." He groaned exasperatedly. Carefully setting down the glass jar.

"I have a question." You smiled deviously.

Senku groaned even louder, glaring at you with the most uninterested face ever. "No a car will not pull itself if you attach a magnet Infront of it, My hair-"

"No— Senku that's not—"

"—my hair stands up because I style it that way, and—"

"sENKU" you shout exasperatedly, finally getting his attention.

"What?" He stares at you annoyedly.

"Can I kiss you?" You finally ask, suddenly seeming very serious, as if you were playing mario cart with Senku's competitive ass.

Senku's eyes widened in shock, though he immediately resumes his calm, uninterested expression. "Mmmmh.. Nah." He turns back to focus on his work with a smug smirk on his face.

Already imagining the dumbstruck expression on your face, nearly doubling over laughing as he can basically hear you pout through your voice.

"wHy not?" You ask, nudging his shoulder until you get his attention.

"Because I'm busy." He deadpans.

"Too busy for just a little peck?" You tap on his shoulder to get him to look at you, then using the most girly voice you could muster:

"Pretty pleaseeeeeee??" You put your hands together to seem more convincing.

It's effective! Senku ishigami loses -10 billion willpower! (Cmon now we all know he's soft on the inside)

Senku Inhales deeply before letting out the most obnoxious exhale you've ever seen. "Fine." He grumbles. He turns his body to face you, still slightly hesitant.

He leans in slightly, waiting for you to reciprocate. When you finally get over your inner fan-girling, you lean in a little too fast and end up bumping foreheads with Senku.

He rubs the place where you two bumped in a an attempt to sooth it.

"I—im sorry! I didn't mean to. ." You look down shamefully. Little did you know that, as soon as Senku recovered, that awesomely big science brain of his conjured a devious plan. (His words not mine)

When you least expected it, he brought his hands up to your cheeks, gently making you look at him. Before he leans in and kisses you softly on the lips.

It was short but sweet. When he leaned away, he took a moment to admire your starstruck expression, smirking at his accomplishment.

Before you could respond, he tries to lick his lips as sneakily as possible so you wouldn't see. (You saw it)

"That good enough for you?"

★What if he's the only one I'll ever miss?

You knew what love felt like, (mostly from TV shows but anyway) and it was nice. But, you'd never chase it, yeah sure it makes you feel all nice and warm and cozy. You'd miss it for a little while, all the affection n sappiness. But life goes on,

That is, until you met Senku.

As you grew closer to him, you had the strong urge to be near him, closer to him. He plagued your thoughts 24/7, him and his stinky, unique, Leek hair, it was quite obvious you loved him. How could you not?

The way his eyes lit up whenever he talked about science, the determination in his eyes to finish some project of his, his... Brash and oftentimes rude personality, though you knew better. He only cared.

★Maybe I should run? I'm only 21.

Sometimes it was hard, Loving Senku. Not because he made it hard, No No, in fact it was all too easy to love him. Before you confessed to Senku, thoughts of rejection constantly plagued your mind.

Senku was a man of science, no way he'd reciprocate your feelings, right?

And so you thought just blocking them out was the right way to go, though it only allowed your feelings to get stronger and stronger until it overpowered you.

★I don't even know who I want to become.

Senku was a straightforward guy, that's one thing you admired about him. This feeling only cemented when he proudly and confidently declared he was gonna revive the human race. Despite knowing Senku for a long time, it still shocked you. Though, it would throw off anyone really.

★I've lost all control, with my heartbeat now.

One thing was for sure though, you both loved eachother. Despite Senku being a bit stiff about affection sometimes, it was clear he loved you in other ways.

whenever he looks at you, so softly, so lovingly. And that smile you knew was reserved for you and you only. It never failed to make your heart race. Whenever he complimented you, or, use the teasing banter you two always had to indirectly say "I love you"

★Got caught in a romance with him, somehow.

It was all so surreal to you, Senku? Loving you back? If you told anyone that they'd look at you as if you were insane, probably because it was an insane statement by itself. Never thought it'd say Senku and Love in the same sentence unless it was "Senku loves science".

You weren't complaining however, a life without Senku would be utterly, thoroughly, mundane.

It was already late at night, you were both laying on the grass, enjoying the stars in the sky that were previously covered by light pollution 3700 years ago. You and Senku were laying down silently against each other, enjoying this brief moment together before the morning came and Senku had to go back to his duties as the chief.

"Hey, Senku." You turn to look at him, he sighs quietly as if to prepare himself for your shenanigans once more.

"Hm?" He hums, still staring at the sky,only tilting his head ever so slightly towards you to let him know he was listening.

"Why is it that love makes you "dumb"?"

"Because, N/n, the feeling you get around someone you love is actually the brain producing the hormones called, 'serotonin', 'dopamine', 'oxytocin', and 'endorphins'." He turns to look at you to see if you're still listening, instead he finds you staring at him Intently, with the most loving gaze ever.

He freezes for a moment before continuing, a tiny of pink on the tips of his ears.

"So when the brain inevitably gets accustomed to releasing chemicals around that person it will do nearly everything to be around them, making the person do or think irrationally and illogically."

"No wonder why I'm so "Stupid" around you." You smile cheekily.

Senku scoffs before looking back up at the sky, "nah, I'm pretty sure you're just stupid in general."

"Not nice, You leekhead!"

"Since when was I nice? And stop calling me leekhead."

★I still feel a shock, Through every bone.

It still shocks Senku to his core that he managed to fall inlove, someone like him? Inlove? He even took such serious measures to insure he'd never fall inlove.

But he's glad he's let his guard down this time, cause if he didn't? He would never have gotten to Love you.

★When I hear an "I love you" cause now I've got someone to lose.

When he first (directly) said I love you, it nearly short-circuited your brain. He rarely said it, usually because he saw no reason to since he knew you knew he loved you already.

Despite it only being three words it held a deep meaning in both of your hearts, a reminder that no matter what happens you're both there for eachother.

★The first one to ever like me back,

It wasn't the first time you've had a crush before, though you haven't been through alot of romantic relationships, or any at all.

So when you decided to finally confess to Senku, him accepting the confession was the last thing you'd thought he'd do.

★I'm seconds away from a heart attack.

It never failed to catch Senku by surprise whenever you'd outwardly state you loved him,

Not to say he didn't enjoy it, of course he did. Though he'd rather die than admit it.

All those times you'd randomly bombard him with affection and praises, it sent butterflies to his stomach.

"Bill Nye the science guy! Whatcha doin?" You'd exclaim as you walked towards him.

He sighed before looking back at you, "was "Science leek", "leekhead", or "leek-haired" not enough?" He stares at you with the most tired face ever, though it was actually quite the opposite of what he was feeling.

"Shshhshhhhhsh, anyway, whatcha doing?" You playfully put a finger over his lips to shut him up. Chuckling when he sends a glare your way.

He slaps the hand away before finally talking, "I'm making a robot from scratch. It's ten million percent hard and ten billion percent exhilarating." He smirks.

He rants about all the parts and materials he's gonna need and all their uses, what they do, and how exhilarating this is.

"And then-" he gets briefly cut off when you place a soft kiss on his forehead, then his nose, and his cheek. As his brain slowly starts realising, he can feel his face heating up. Though he immediately recovers and instead the tips of his ears become red.

"Oops, my bad. You're just so cute when you rant yknow?" You smirk smugly, aware of what you just did. The smirk on your face only grows wider as you take in Senku's confused face.

As you were lost in the blinding bliss of finally managing to catch Senku off guard, he suddenly leans in close to you and presses a soft kiss to the edge of your lips, missing your lips entirely.

He mirrors the expression you had as he gives you a taste of your own medicine. "Oh sorry, you're just so adorable when your all confident and proud like that, couldn't help myself."

"You're lucky I love you, Leek boy."

"I must be the luckiest Leek in the world then."

★How the hell did I fall inlove this time? And honestly I can't believe I get to call you mine.

He still can't believe he fell inlove, especially with you, no offense, he loves you and would probably die for you but he always thought he'd be most likely to date someone with more knowledge in science,

But, he'd much rather have your curiosity and enthusiasm to learn over someone who already knows.

★I blinked and suddenly I had a valentine.

He stands there in awe, wondering what he could've done to deserve you. He thinks about all the time you've done something for him even though you didn't have to. All those times you've listened to him rant during a phone call, all those times you'd help him carry some "heavy" stuff. Even though it was actually light and Senku just has the muscles of a twig.

He looks at the telescope and the gift you made personally for him, a little star carved out of wood. You two would spend forever in his room gazing at the stars through his old telescope. He smiles softly at the star before looking back up to meet yours.

"Happy birthday, Senku."

#ishigami senku #dr stone senku #senku #senku ishigami x reader #leek #songfic #x reader #ishigami senku x reader #senku ishigami #Spotify

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scara-meow-che · 1 year

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「 💭 」⠀hhmmmm thinking about al haitham being insufferable, you just have to show him the ropes of being around a person like you.

cw. NSFW (MDNI), sub! brat! character, dom! reader, gn pronouns, handjobs, so fucking messy, cum eating, one cockslap ♥︎, degradation → praise ♥︎, use of words (good boy ♥︎), he can be your good boy only if he wants to (or if you put him in his own place), thr start of my slut! al haitham agenda because i said so.

tell me straight in the eye that al haitham isn't a brat. come on, do it.

i am sorry for all dom! al haitham writers/enjoyers out there (i love you, you all enjoy good fucking food) but i can never look at haitham as a dom anymore, especially maining him since his release. i always find his personality fascinating (i relate to him at some point) yet i always find myself annoyed at how can he be so unbothered after being a damn menace. also, he's grandma's boy, i have a thing for them and i KNOW how much they yearn to be taken care of (but not without a fight).

he likes to rile up people, especially those who he is close with. he enjoys the way they would immediately react on his side jabs, commenting on how their emotions get the best of them while he secretly smiles when he sees the downward quirk of their brows.

but this doesn't apply to you.

you have always been calm, reasonable to the point where you'd let people speak their thoughts before you could relay on whatever issues you find in their opinions. it was a trait of yours that al haitham found interesting and caused him to befriend you with reasons being that you're both important figures in the akademiya while hiding the actual truth.

and sometimes, more often the not, al haitham would even doubt whether the face you currently show to these people is indeed the truth of who you really are. this most likely lead to him wanting more of an reaction from you. he thinks that you're not any different from these people in the akademiya and you'd soon find yourself in a rush of emotions, rendering you angry and frustrated at others.

yet he never had the chance to see it happen, well, not when others can see.

little did he know that his "research" on you wasn't gone unnoticed by none other than you. the simple side eye, the unappreciated coments here and there, the quick huff he'd let go whenever you'd manage to reason out with him as he leaves satisfied with your answer—al haitham thought he's good in what he's doing and soon, you'd finally have the opportunity to corner him and ask why is he that persistent in getting a reaction out of you.

"it's because i'm curious."

yeah, he is curious even when he had both his legs spread, with you behind his "feeble" form, a hand jerking off the red tip of his thick girth while the other's busy pinching on his sensitive nipple.

"so t-this is who you really are, a-ah fuck, huh, f/n?"

"baby, that's the third time asking me that question." you gave the base of his cock a tight squeeze before pumping his length on a faster pace. his eyes widened in pleasure, hands obediently set at the side with his head full of nothing but the heavenly sensation on his dick. "would've been better if you just keep on moaning for me."

"as if it's logical enough of me to do that."

first mistake. the tight grip on the base of his cock continued, his pulse quickening in anticipation before feeling the fast and steady pumps on his dick. it was messy, so, so messy with the way the tip leaks with precum and you went to smother it around the whole shaft. a deep groan managed to escape his lips, followed by his uneven breathing when you moved your other hand to pinch on his nipple.

"yet you can't pull yourself away from me? are you lying to me, haitham? because your dick seems way more honest than what your words imply to."

the way you whispered on his ears caused him to flush a deep hue of red all over, making you chuckle. al haitham bit on his lips, his head can't seem to take a grip on how blissful it felt to have you please him like this. he thought that he'd finally knew something about you that others doesn't have a single idea about but it looks like he'd discovered something about himself.

"it's b-because, fuck, 'm so close."

his hips keep on buckling to meet the lazy thrusts of your hand, head tilting back to rest on your shoulder. it was a damn pretty sight, the akademiya's known scribe, who used to be the acting grand sage, an authoritative figure that people seemed to be wary of, is moaning out how close he just is from coming on his co-worker's hand.

you can feel his dick twitch in your hand, the nerve on one side pulsing as he dances close to his orgasm. the faint calls of your name made its way to your ears, making you smile as you huff out sweet words on his ears.

"yeah, you're close?"

"y-yes, 'wanna come, ah, it feels so good."

just as he's about to come, he felt your hand letting go of his cock, causing the length to snap back up on his stomach. then it's followed with a quick slap on the tip, the sudden impact caused al haitham to shake and he felt himself coming so messily, spurting thick goo on his thighs and chest.

"s-shit, ah, that's so—."

he couldn't even catch a breath because you continued on pumping on his cock, rendering him putty from oversensitivity. his moans now came unfiltered, his body disobeying whatever the fuck he was on about earlier because he never felt this good before.

"aw, you look so adorable coming like that. i wanna see you do it one more time." you gave him a quick kiss on his cheeks, smiling when he leans in closer as if he's asking for another one.

despite the ache he felt on his cock, in addition to your hands so desperate to milk him another load, he obeys your words and focused on reaching another orgasm. he was slightly trembling by now, sensing that he's a minute away from his peak.

and you can also sense the way he looks out of it, pretty eyes closed but tears had already pooled out and drips down on his pretty skin. you can't deny that al haitham is a gorgeous man but his attitude will surely cause him trouble. but that's not something you can't do nothing about.

especially when you can feel his cock twitch and then shoots out more cum than he did earlier.

"you're such a good boy, al haitham~" you cooed while you scoop out all his cum on your hand, pumping him out until he went to reach out on your hand. "you did such a good job, yeah?"

"yes, i did good. 'm your good boy~"

"yeah, you are? then you wouldn't mind cleaning up after your mess, right?" as he leans down back at you, he sees you lifting your hand right in front of his face, your palm slick with his cum. he can't stop the blush on his face and ears, embarrassed at how the strong scent of his load shot lust straight through his head. yet, no matter how much he reason out with himself, he was still too into it, too into how you just had him wrapped around your fingers.

it's just because i'm curious. he thought before he wraps one hand around your wrist and starts on licking on your cum-coated skin. you smiled, using your free hand to brush on his locks.

"see? you can be good. if you keep behaving like this then i'd spoil you a lil' more... unless you have other plans in mind."

"this won't happen again," he replies after he's done cleaning up your hand. you quirked an eyebrow at him as he peels himself away from you, giving you a stern look. as if that would faze you.

"there won't be no second time but rest assured that this will stay between us."

yeah, he'd just keep on denying the truth if he gets to see this side of you more often.

#⇲ quick-live #nsfw.txt #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #al haitham smut #al haitham x reader smut #this is his fault for coming home instead of qiqi #smfh #literally i should've just waited for yelan if i'm going to win 50/50

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pastel-pillows · 1 year

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This will also be going on my smut blog when that part is done, but here’s the hurt/Comfort swf portion of my Billy fic.

What’s ok for me

Billy Hargrove x Fem!reader

Cw: Period typical misogyny, homophobia (very very tiny, just one sentence, using fairy as an insult) and toxic masculinity

A safe environment has Billy finding a new found desire for a more gentle kind of intimacy than he’s used to, will he be able to accept it with his dad’s voice narrating his actions? Toxic masculinity and letting go.

You always made things feel safe, and in that safety sat an immense unease, a disconcerting sense of wrong, as if your fingers scratching his back somehow went against the very core of who he was, it stirred an unreasonable anger in him, a feeling of powerlessness, as though you were babying him or pitying him and viewing him as less than a man when you treated him so softly, even if you’d never voiced such opinions. The voice that was compounding with his own doubts shooing away any rational thoughts and making Billy shift from your reach and lean with his back to the arm of the couch offering only the choices of laying on him or being away from him all together. There was a comfort in familiarity, even if it left him closed off and emotionally distant, but it was easier to sit with than the roiling turmoil of anxiety the voice raised.

You were perfect, voice kind, touch gentle, face soft and understanding over every shirked sign of affection, Billy hadn't been the most forthcoming with his life but Max had given you more than a few clues and you knew he’d process in his own time, choose what forms of affection he was ok with when it was in a healthy environment, these things took time and for Billy you’d hit pause on whatever he needed you to, so long as he was willing to love you now, and even after, you’d be happy to love him too, supportive in a journey you weren’t quite a part of but were paramount too.

The thoughts were as hard to shake as the man whose voice followed him had been.

Real men took care of things.

Real men didn’t preen in mirrors.

Real men didn’t cry.

Real men didn’t ask to be held like a child.

Only fairies liked to be coddled and treated like the female of the relationship.

Billy was a man, he didn't need his hair played with or his hand held, didn’t need to be looked after.

He didn’t need it, but he desperately wanted it, wanted more than just you wrapping him up in your arms while you slept, to accept more than your unconscious affections, he wanted to lay on your lap and let you trace the features of his face and to have you pull him in for a kiss or lay on you while you watched a movie. Billy wanted the sense of contentment and peace that just seemed to radiate off you, but every ‘I can let myself have that’ thought was countered by that voice, his voice, insulting him, degrading him and calling him slurs. A thought pattern he didn't know how to break, keeping a constant blanket of discomfort over every gentle interaction you offered.

Billy started off small, steadfast in getting control of himself,just a few words repeated to himself everyday, a mantra of ‘I decide what’s ok for me’. It felt ridiculous, humiliating even when he’d never spoken the words aloud, but he kept at it, it was his life and he’d do as he pleased free from the hardships of his old home.

The ‘I decide what’s ok for me’ turned into letting you buy him stuff you thought was pretty, hair bands and trinkets that had felt effeminate and insulting before, now seemed like nice gestures and symbols of how you thought about him throughout the day, his presence in your life showing up in even the simplest of things.

Camaro blue hair ties to keep his hair out of his face when he worked out turned into him allowing you to pull him down to you for kisses, the voice still loud but shoved to the back as you grinned against his mouth and told him how much you loved him ‘I decide what’s ok for me.’ The foremost thing in his head as you peppered is cheeks in kisses.

Holding your hand fell into place easier than he’d thought, your fingers tight on his own while you pulled him all over Family Video looking for a movie to rent for your girls night with Nancy, Robin, El and Max. The pressure was pleasant and your skin was soft and warm, soothing and grounding him, his ears deaf to the whisper of the voice telling him he’d allowed a woman turn him soft and walk all over him, instead his mind stayed on what take out he was going to have for dinner and if he should order extra so you could have some when you got back later that night, no doubt with a few drinks in you, the aggressive masculinity settling onto a back burner.

Months passed before he asked you to hold him, he’d just gotten undressed and wore nothing but a pair of boxers and was sliding into bed, your back to him ready for him to wrap his arms around you the way he always had.

Billy’s voice cracked just the slightest when he asked. “Can I lay on you tonight?” He’d thought about just laying on you, and was sure you’d let him, but knew you’d most likely think something was wrong, and the verbal question was almost a release of control, and admittance to his need for affection without fully voicing it.

“Of course, come here.” A few moments of shuffling and you were settled on your back, Billy’s head rested on your chest and your fingers massaging his scalp. He tensed up for a minute or so, the exposed and vulnerable feeling waging a war against his desire for the gentle intimacy he’d been deprived of for over a decade, it eventually settling when your warm lips pressed to the crown of his head, the lack of words spoken the soft encouragement he needed to wrap his arms around you and fully relax for the first time since he was small.

Billy decided what was ok for him, and this was more than ok.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader

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rogertaylorsprettyvoice · 3 months

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(roger taylor x y/n)

No lock in the studio

tw: NSFW and explicit language!

word count: 2,790

tags: fem! reader, big age gap, unprotected sex, sex in the work place, dirty talk, sassy roger, quickie, oral sex (giving), penetrative sex, nipple pay, aftersex care

You're 24, you work as a sound engineer for a famous label but you didn't realise today would be the day you'd be left alone in a studio with Roger Taylor.

Peter. I need to find Peter, you think to yourself. You're frustrated and it shows. I'm not a fricking secretary. You're walking through the hallways of the studio looking for the sign S-16 on the door. It's the best studio in the building, which makes sense because Peter is very respected here. It's also the furthest and the longer you're walking, the more annoyed you are. You're really hoping he's alone in there right now. The whole reason why you're walking in the first place is because he cut his phone line off. He really hates to be disturbed.

After hopping for a good 5 minutes through the endless hallways, you finally find the said S-16 door. If he was recording right now, the big red sign above the door would be on. You still discreetly check though the small round window and only see him sitting on his chair, his back turned to you, so you knock.

"Come on in.

- Peter, I'm sorry to disturb you, but Carl is out there fuming about god knows what and obviously he sends ME because I've got nothing better to do than run around like his secretary."

He looks amused, which is reassuring for Peter, but you quickly understand when you hear someone coughing behind you. This day isn't getting any better. You sigh and turn around only to find a familiar face smoking a cigarette on the couch behind the door. It takes you a minute to realise who's standing up to greet you and you feel embarrassed for showing your bad temper in front of a client, especially this one.

You know you should get used to meeting artists and act professional but you weren't expecting to meet Roger freakin Taylor.

He smiles at you and you proceed to shake hands.

"Y/N, please meet Roger, Roger, this is Y/N, our very promising sound engineer.

- Very promising, you say? Nice to meet you, Roger greets you.

- Well, I wouldn't go that far, but it's a pleasure to meet you Sir, you smile back trying to keep it cool.

- Sir? God, don't ever call me Sir, I'm not that old, am I?"

Roger and Peter laugh while you stare in disbelief. You stutter and try to take it back but they seem to forget about it when Roger sits next to your colleague. It took you only two minutes to embarrass myself and insult the greatest drummer of all times, great.

"Y/N, what does Carl want that is so urgent?

- A client is freaking out up there and he thinks it's your fault, but this is all I could understand before he sent me off to fetch you like his little pet."

Now, Peter looks pissed. He gets up from his seat with little to no conviction and says:

"I think I know what this is about.. Rog, let me go check on him really quickly. I'm sorry but Carl can be a real pain in the ass sometimes and he won't let it go unless I come find him."

Roger nods and looks understanding. Peter proceeds to go out, so you start following him outside, eager to watch him put Carl back in his place, but a voice stops you.

"Y/N, can I ask for your opinion?"

The drummer looks at you from his seat, waiting for an answer, but all you can think about is how Roger Taylor wants your opinion.

"I'm sorry, he adds sarcastically, I should have called you Miss, I knew I was moving too fast."

Your laugh lights up the room and the tension your previously felt vanishes.

"Much better, thank you, Sir."

Gosh, he looks handsome when he smiles. And when he doesn't smile. Or when he laughs. Of course, you know who Roger Taylor is, you've seen him before on pictures and on the telly, but now that you're face to face with him, you only have one word on your mind and it's gorgeous.

He doesn't look like he needs much to look good. He's wearing a plain white shirt and somehow looks like the most beautiful man on earth. Although, you have to admit that the way he's wearing it, rolled up sleeves, not fitted, with a button that shows a little more than it should, is very suggestive.

"I would like you to hear this demo I recorded with Peter. I think it's missing something but I don't know what."

The music resonates in the studio and you carefully listen to the arrangement. It's got a rock vibe, with a bit of grunge. For a full two minutes, you're focused on the song, so much that you forget about Roger's presence. The music stops but you hit play again.

"Listen here. Great beginning. But how about you take out some of the guitar harmonies to have a much clearer sound in the first verse to build it up towards the end."

Roger frowns and nods, he is focused on what you're saying. You go on about rhythms, musicality, what adjustments he should make to your opinion. He looks surprised, like he didn’t expect you to be invested like this. When you're finally finished, he gives you an impressed look.

"Now I get what Peter meant when he said promising."

You're flattered but can’t hide your smile.

"How long have you been a sound engineer?

- Well, I'd say for about two years.

- Two years and you talk just like Peter.

- That's because he's kinda my mentor and he's the reason why I came here.

- Wait, hold on, how old are you?

- I'm 24, you were not expecting him to get personal with you this quickly which makes you smile.

- Shit, I'm way out of your league then."

You both look at each other with a hint of challenge in your eyes.

"And you're like what? 40? you tease him.

- Try 36, he takes out a cigarette and stares at you while he breathes in.

- I don't mind, you say, looking straight in his eyes with a smirk.

- You don't mind?

- I don't mind, no, you say with a softer voice, never breaking the eye contact."

You don't understand how the mood shifted so quickly, but the room is now filled with an invisible tension. His eyes linger on your body and lurk you up and down. You love how he doesn't even try to hide his attraction to you. He fully looks like he could devour you right now.

You stand up from your seat to come closer to him and sit on the corner of the control table. You're only inches away from each other. His leg is slightly touching yours and this simple friction is almost too much to endure.

You're looking at him from above but his stare makes it so hard to maintain. His gaze is burning your skin. He’s sitting down, full of his cocky attitude, looking up with his doe eyes.

"I think that Peter, you pause, might be coming back, you almost whisper.”

He stands up and slowly pulls you closer with every word he says, his eyes locked into yours at all times.

“Yeah, he says, I think he’ll be back soon.

- We shouldn’t stand so close to each other, then.

- No, you’re right, we shouldn’t.”

But he doesn’t move. If anything, the tension makes it hard for you to not get any closer. His face is only a moment away from touching yours. His eyes, his piercing blue eyes, move between the tip of your nose and your eyes because you’re so close that he can’t even see your lips anymore.

A warm feeling arises from your lower back. It’s his hand, placed on your Venus dimples. It tickles you, very slightly, and the feeling grows on your stomach. The warmth climbs to your chest and shrouds your bosom.

Roger’s raspy voice suddenly brings you back from wherever you were mentally. You almost forgot about where you were.

“What should we do? his hand slowly lingers on your body.

- Maybe, lock the door? you ask with a smile.

- Or maybe not, says Roger.”

He loves the surprised look on your face. There’s something in his eyes - he’s provoking you. It’s impossible to look away, you are entirely focused on him and start to feel dizzy from the heat. His hand, previously placed on your lower-back, embraces your hip while finding a way under your tee-shirt. You shiver. His hands feel so cold on your burning skin.

With his other hand, he lifts your chin up then cups your face to get a good look at you. He tucks his fingers between your ear which makes you feel the need to gently rub your cheek against his palm. The scent of his perfume mixed with cigarettes completely takes over your analytical judgement; you give him one last look before you lose yourself and lean in, gently placing your lips on his.

Your hands find a way to bury in his neck while his right palm brings your hips together. The kiss is slow, very slow, so slow but so wet. It didn’t take you long to find the way to his pink muscle and yours are now dancing in each other’s mouth. Fingers buried in your hair, tongue caressing yours, pelvis pressed against his very tight pants; it’s almost too much to bare, you want more. No, you need more, you need him whole.

The kiss escalates quickly, making you whimper at how well he explores your mouth. His hands linger around your body, teasing you by caressing your sensitive breast, although he doesn’t yield to your moaning; he seems to like to torment you by grabbing you everywhere else. The feeling gets too overwhelming. You find your way to his shirt and start unbuttoning it until his chest is bare. You sense him smile against your lips. He must like your initiative.

He pulls you out. You instantly feel the need to reconnect with his lips.

“I want you so bad, doll.

- Do you want my mouth too? you say with your doe eyes.

- It’s already mine.”

The heat in your lower stomach migrates to your inner thighs and you can’t ignore the wetness anymore. Your hands brush his chest until they find a way to unbuckle his belt and open his pants. When you look down, you wonder how his pants did not explode. It’s so big you can’t wait to feel it inside of your drenched walls. But you’ve got something else in mind for him.

You kneel. He stares at you from above which makes him sexier than ever. He grabs your hair into an improvised ponytail. You take his member with your hand, slowly lick every inch of it, bottom to its wet tip, before shoving it in your mouth. Roger groans and lets go of the tension. You start moving a little bit, your hand follows your movement and you let your tongue play with it. It feels so freaking good. How can it feel so good? It’s unreal.

You look up to find him already looking down on you, mouth open, eyebrows frowned, wild blonde hair that he keeps pushing from his face. You want to hear his voice again, so you really shove it, deeper, until you feel it in your throat. The most beautiful sound comes to your ear while you’re trying to stay still. You would be moaning so loudly if he wasn’t in your mouth.

“Love, may I help you with my hand?”

You know exactly what he’s referring to because the grip on your hair gets tighter. You nod obviously, eager to see a glimpse of dom Roger.

You resume your sucking and moaning. You’re so dirty, he says, and with that, he thrusts his hard cock deep into your throat. You’ve never been taken care of like this. He’s intense, but not too quick, enjoying your wet mouth between each thrust. You can’t ignore it anymore; you’re drenched.

He gives it a little more strength before he finally pulls out. You can finally breathe. You hadn’t realised you couldn’t, you were too focused on the way he filled your mouth. You’re both panting - not for the same reason though.

“Come here, Y/N.”

He helps you back up, but doesn’t spare a second to pick you up and place you on the edge of the control table. He undresses your lower body, throwing your underwear in the room, and you lift your shirt to unravel your perfect tits, as he says.

“Roger, please, I need you in me, you whine. - Fuck, Y/N…”

He brings his hard cock towards your entrance and moans at the wetness of it. Slowly, he goes in while leaning in to kiss you, but you can't stop moaning, even against his lips. For a second, he intensifies the kiss and goes as deep as he can inside of you. You grab him by the shoulders, by his neck, ready to exhale due to the pleasure but he surprises you when he starts going faster, deeper, and groans while he fills you in really good. He grabs you by the back of your neck and goes faster. He doesn’t miss one opportunity to make you scream.

He slows down and locks his eyes into yours. His movements are like torture. So slow. The wet sounds fill the air and mix with your heavy breaths. He resumes kissing your lips then slowly goes down your neck. Oh my God, he's so hard. You're so hard, Roger. His lips go down and finally find their way to your breast. He licks your hard nipples and you let out the loudest moan while he's fucking you good. He licks them again and grabs your tits in his hand before whispering in your ear:

“You're such a little cunt…”

You don't think you've ever been this wet at the sound of someone's voice. Roger just knows how to make you horny for him and the thought of being his little cunt makes you so aroused that you forget how to breathe properly. The thrusts fill you again, and again, and again before you eventually feel it coming; your hands grab tightly onto him and you desperately look for his eyes before you manage to say:

“I'm coming, Rog…”

The world stops turning for a second. But he doesn’t stop. He’s harder than ever and your mind is completely empty. Your stomach tightens as well as your inner walls The air has left your lungs and your heart just might come out of your chest.

And then the tension just explodes in a loud moan. He's still going hard, frowning his eyebrows and you suspect he's not too far either. Every movement he gives you is like an electric choc that makes the pleasure last longer. It's like a wave of relief that takes over your whole body. You take his hand and place it on your tit before locking eyes with him.

“Don't stop looking at me, you tell him.”

He doesn't. In fact, he's as deep in your eyes as in your pussy and he feels like he's losing control over his own body. He’s going fucking crazy. Absolutely feral for you. He gives you a few more powerful thrusts before he pulls out and spits his thick semen on your stomach. You hear again his raspy voice groaning and he finally stops moving.

His forehead is pressed against yours and for some reason you both can't stop smiling. He leans in and kisses you, softly this time. His lips are so soft, gosh.

Roger helps you clean up and picks up your clothes on the floor to help you with that too. How was this man a literal beast moments ago and acts like the sweetest man alive?

You're both fully clothed now, cheeks still pink, and he takes it upon himself to make your hair look presentable. Roger grabs you by the hips and pulls you closer to him.

“I wish I had more time to actually taste you. You were so wet for me.”

But you don't have time to answer because you both hear footsteps approaching, and the door opens with Peter. A little bit disappointed, you let go of each other but not without a shy smile.

“Y/N? You're still here? Don't you have work to do?”

You hurry to the door, worried he might notice the state of your hair and make-up.

“I asked her to stay so I wouldn’t get bored.”

You don’t need to see him to picture the smirk on his face. Although, before you go, you look back and catch him already smiling at you.

#smut #70's #70's smut #rogertaylor #roger taylor #bohemian rhapsody #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor smut #roger taylor Y/N

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thatbadadvice · 11 months

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Dear advisor,

(Apologies in advance, english is not my first language)

I made 2 friends in clg (K and P) i was especially close with K, talked and shared a lot with her. Suddenly she started being mean to me and it reached a point where we stopped talking. When i asked what her problem was, she basically said she prioritises P and i'm intruding their friendship, taking up all of P's time. And that hurt really bad, felt angry at them both. I gave them "space", stopped talking, it was more awkward because i didn't have friends other than them. Moving on, we got our finals result, K and P they both got second place and... i feel like shit. I really wanted to be better than them, show that i'm cool(ik its cringe) now i'm really insecure and feel so untalented. Every time i do something, i always think about how they would've done it much better. I'm on my final year, soon have to start applying for jobs and i don't want to be like this. I have already put them on a pedestal and can't stop comparing myself to them.

Readers sometimes send Bad Advisor their real-ass questions to answer, so the Bad Advisor is periodically going to try her hand at answering them. If you’d like to submit a question for a Good Advice Interlude, use the “ask” form!

Oh, friend! Thank you so much for sending in this question, and for having the bravery and aplomb to write it both elegantly and colloquially in a language that is not your original tongue.

Do you know what the Bad Advisor would have to do if she had to write an advice-seeking letter in another language? She would have to write to some French agony aunt and ask them where the bathroom is and if she can please have an Aperol spritz and do they like dancing? Because that is the extent of the Bad Advisor's ability to communicate in her non-native language! Please do not feel obligated to apologize for doing a brilliant and hard thing. For this reason alone, the Bad Advisor hopes you raise yourself in your own estimation, because the Bad Advisor is extremely the fuck impressed, and the Bad Advisor hopes her opinion counts for something. (After all, you asked!)

There is a saying in English: "Comparison is the thief of joy." This feels like a saying that should not be an English saying, because the English-speaking world, a world of colonizers and capitalists, is a world in which comparison is the foundation of all we do -- we compete, we contend, we dominate! (I, a professional writer with a better-than-average command of my native language, used a thesaurus to fill out that sentence!) But perhaps for this reason, we understand the trauma of comparison all the more deeply.

Comparison, that miserable poacher of happiness, robs us of our ability to appreciate so much: what we can do, what we enjoy doing, what we dream of doing. Cruelly, comparison hits us hardest in the parts of our lives we care most about. Would that it were otherwise! But it explains why I can thrill at watching the Olympics, or celebrate someone else's ability to change a car tire or swat a humongous bug without descending into despair. I have no expectation of myself that I will become an Olympic athlete (I simply could never), or change a tire (I can happily pay for this service), or deal with an insect intruder (only upon pain of death or the absence of my less-squeamish partner). But in my very worst and often even my entirely average moments? I sometimes squirm and froth upon reading a brilliant book, a thoughtful op-ed, or just an excellently executed sentence. Because those are things I believe I can, I must, I SHALL do! When I fail to do those things, or when I have not yet done those things -- things I believe myself to be capable of, things I believe I should be capable of -- I feel small and silly and worthless.

The only fix that I have found to those feelings of smallness and silliness is to acknowledge them and unpack them as signals that they are telling me something not about what I can't do, but about what I can do and deserve to do. These feelings come sometimes about people I deeply love and care about, and sometimes they come about strangers! But every time, they tell me something about myself that I have not tended and cared for and nourished and celebrated.

It is easy and satisfying and perhaps even motivating to be mad at and jealous of strangers; it is so much heavier and more shame-inducing to feel these feelings about people we know and love. And you were pushed aside by K and P, who you know and love(d), in ways that sound especially unfair and unkind. Which I expect makes this hurt all the more! I think you know you cannot fix whatever smallness and meanness made K and P sequester themselves and their relationship away from you; you're not asking about that. But you want to move beyond this feeling of having to win at life before or over them, and you recognize already that living in their shadow will only bring darkness to you.

Metaphorical solution: move out of the darkness by giving yourself a bigger world where there is more space to find sunlight. This world is waiting for you, because you are about to embark upon a post-college career that naturally lends itself to such! Perhaps you will see K and P's shadows for a while -- but as you move farther from their branches that shade your sunny picnic, you will find other, more welcoming spaces in which to enjoy your meal, and the tree at the other end of the park will seem less and less like it is threatening to ruin your good time.

Practical solution: indulge yourself in the things you love and care about most, honor and cultivate other people's interests in those same things, and find something wholly unrelated to fail at. To wit:

indulge yourself: someone will always be better, maybe even much better, at the thing you love and are best at. They might be first. They might, for now, be the only. That's inevitable. Work to do your best at what you love, and to be proud of what you're doing on your own terms. I can't think of a single discipline -- academic, arts, cultural, scientific, political, or otherwise -- in which any person on earth can claim to be the "first, last, and only." We all build on the work of others; the fact that someone did better than you or preceded you is only evidence that there is room for you to innovate, to change, to bring your own perspective. Internalizing this is really, really hard, and in my experience almost impossible to achieve if you resist the next bullet point.

support other people's interest in your field: this is different to "networking." I mean: find folks who you like and think are fun and interesting and maybe are a little newer to your thing than you are, and offer them guidance or just a place to commiserate and see where that takes you. The best cure for feeling bad about yourself is to do a good turn for someone else -- not out of pity or self-interest, but because helping other people lifts us up in immeasurable and intangible ways, sparks new ideas, and opens new venues for change and innovation.

fail at something: one of the best things you can learn to do is learn to be bad at shit. I'm bad at embroidery, and I do it a lot! I give my ugly embroidery things to friends and family members who appreciate the thought and the effort more than the execution! When I can't find anyone to give my bad embroidery to, I put it on the Bad Embroidery shelf in my office or pawn it off to my husband, who has his own Bad Advisor's Bad Embroidery Shelf in his office. I never get better at embroidery, but I keep doing it because: it's pretty enough even when it's bad, I don't need to succeed at it to enjoy it, and it calms my ADHD-addled mind even when I can't tell a tiger from a flower. I've learned to be bad at other stuff, too! I took up curling (the sport) and I love it and I fall the fuck over every time I try to deliver that ding-dang kettle. I have a bad knee and always have to use the newbie-balancing thing that first-timers train on. It's fine! And guess what? The people I curl with are really, really bad writers, and it makes me laugh and laugh to read their emails. And you know what? They don't care that I'm bad at curling and I don't care that their emails are poorly written.

the tl;dr: Earlier in my Bad Advice days, I advised letter-writers to go learn to paint or some shit when they were having a bad time with a fixation on a bad relationship or situation, and I stand by that advice. Learn something new because you deserve something new! You have a bright fucking future ahead of you that involves neither K nor P beyond the great gift they have given you of showing you that your people will always value your input, create space for you and your brilliance, and honor and respect your boundaries.

You can do this, because you already want to. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

#advice #bad advice #good advice interlude #go learn to paint or some shit #friendships #friendship advice #competition #comparison #comparison is the thief of joy #curling #embroidery #college life #academics #university #student life

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rexmeshlasblog · 1 year

Text

Don’t get me wrong

Captain Rex x Jedi Reader

Summary: Rex gets jealous because his General is, in his opinion, a bit too much hanging out with his brother Fives.

Word count: 1500

Warnings: feelings, fluff, mentions of war, use of Y/N, fmc, mentions of loss, intimate moment, jealousy, cheeky Rex, anger, a bit angsty maybe??

A/N: Second one shot and I’m really excited what y’all think. Enjoy!

—————————

“Stop it, Fives”, I laughed while we were walking through the barracks of the cruiser.

“Maybe you should stop telling these stupid stories”, he answered while he nudged his elbow in my ribs.

I told Fives about how I first met Obi-Wan and Anakin the other day and that I almost punched Anakin in the face. Anakin was just so kricking rude and something inside of me liked the idea of punching him right into his face. To wash away that stupid grin of his.

“I can’t believe you almost punched him.”

“So do I. In that moment I also weren’t able to think that he would become one of my best friends”, I smirked back at him.

Fives put his arm around my shoulder, lowered his head to mine as if he wanted to tell me a secret, but before he could say a word we walked around a corner and standing right there was Captain Rex. Arms crossed and with a stoic face. A deep furrow was in between his eyebrows as he glared at us.

“Hey Rex”, I greeted him. Trying to get him into a better mood, but it quiet didn’t work. It didn’t work even a tiny bit. It just seemed like his mood was getting badder.

“You alright?” Rex didn’t look at me he was just glaring daggers into Fives who gulped and nervously put his weight from one foot to the other. What got into him?

“The General wants to talk with you”, was all he said more towards Fives, than me, but I knew I was meant.

“I’ll go to him in a few minutes.”

“He wants to speak with you now.”

“But I speak with Fives now.”

Now, finally, Rex was looking at me. His amber eyes bored into mine while his gaze was as cold as ice. His jaw tightened, “I don’t think General Skywalker cares much about that.”

I sighed while rolling my eyes at him. “Then we don’t let him wait.”

The Captain nodded tense while Fives took his arm from my shoulders so I was able to walk away.

“We’re hanging out later again?” I smiled apologetically towards Fives who answered with a simple nod. Sending me a little smile lastly.

While I walked away from the two of them I heard Rex starting to talk. I didn’t understand what they said but also didn’t lend this a second thought. This simply wasn’t my business.

“So what did you wanted to talk to me about?” When I arrived at the control centre I saw Anakin standing with his back towards me, looking out of the large windows which just showed that we were currently in hyperspace. Stars passed us by and were only a glimpse of light.

He turned around eyebrows raised, “I didn’t want to talk with you. Who said that?”

Rex, for kriffings sake.

I clenched one of my hands into a fist while murmuring swears.

“I guess I just misunderstood them.”

Anakin nodded. His forehead was still furrowed and confusion looked right from his eyes into mine. He felt through the force that I was lying, but that didn’t matter to me right now. First I had to kill my Captain for that stupid move of his.

“I’ll have to go.”

“I’m not going stop you”, Anakin agreed with arms held upwards. “Do what you can’t help doing.”

I rushed out of the control centre. Feeling the confused looks right in my back. Rex wherever you were, you weren’t safe. And I was pretty sure he knew that and just waited for me to find him.

Seconds later, I was still running through the cruiser, I reached out to him through my com and the force. But I couldn’t find him. My emotions were too strong and I wasn’t able to control myself.

“Rex here.”

“Where the kriff are you?”, bursted it out of me. So much for a Jedi having his emotions under control.

“In my room. Where else should I be?”

“Wait there. I’m coming.”

I ended the call, before he was able to reply, just to speed up even more.

Within seconds I was at the barracks of the clones and in front of Rex’s door. I didn’t wasted anymore time and bumped right into it. Once I’ve got some breath.

“How may I help you, General?” Rex asked politely. The Captain sat on his desk. Calm and without any kind of rush. He knew exactly why I was here. In this condition. The sparkle in his eyes told me. Betrayed him.

“You’re in a bad state, trooper.” I called out. The little smirk on his lips growing. Rex loved every second of it. Of my undivided attention.

“Would you mind explaining, General?” He stood up from his chair to walk right in front of me. Chest almost touching mine. If one of us would take a deep breath in, we would feel each other. I would touch him. Not just through the force and his breath on my forehead, also him in his physical form. I wanted to take this step forward. Hold his hand and let go, feel his body, but so easily I wouldn’t let him win this little war. For that, I was way too proud.

The Captain looked down at me with widened pupils and a growing grin on his lips. He waited for me to say something again. And he knew exactly what he did to me. If he was a Jedi it was easy to explain why he knew what I was feeling, because he felt it through the force. But he wasn’t one of us he just knew me that well. Which should scare me, that I’d let him get this close to me, but I didn’t. And maybe that was exactly my fault.

“If I remember right, you told a bit ago that Skywalker wanted to talk to me, but he did in fact, didn’t say that.”

Rex acted shocked, “That’s my mistake, General. May I misunderstood him.”

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms while I was turning around to end this conversation. I was done with it.

“What is that with Fives and you?” The mood in his room changed drastically from one moment to another. The air felt different than before. Was he-.

“Wait, are you jealous?” I turned around to look back at him, hiding a smirk.

Rex’s jaw tightened and so did his fists on either side of his body. He clenched and unclenched them, but didn’t answer me. Although his body language was answer enough. For that I didn’t need the force.

Slowly I putted my hand on his cheek and he leaned into my touch. I caressed his cheek as Rex liked it. I couldn’t believe that he thought I was able to have something with Fives, one of his brothers, when he stood right here in front of me. Perfectly and absolutely breath taking. Rex and I matched and I was 100 percent sure that I would never feel around anybody else the way I did with him. Rex was mine and I was his.

“How would I be able to have a relationship, like ours, with Fives when you’re right here? In all your glory and shiny armour”, I chuckled. His breath hitched while he putted his arm around me. To finally slim the gap between us. I couldn’t quite feel his body through the plastid armour, but being so close to him and feeling his chest rising and falling was enough for me. I was used to his armour and it also made him even hotter.

“I don’t know”, he muttered not able to lock his eyes with mine. “It’s just the way you act around each other. He makes you laugh and I think that you’re not enjoying my company as much as his.”

My eyes widened in disbelief. Had I really made him feel that way? Obviously it wasn’t on purpose, but we could figure it out if we talked about it. And luckily we did.

“I’m sorry that I made you feel this way. Rex, I’m enjoying you around me as much as Fives. I like it even more when I’m with you. Fives is just a good friend of mine, but you mean more to me. You’re my best friend, but most importantly you’re my boyfriend, secretly, but still my boyfriend.”

Rex relaxed visibly. “So I’m your boyfriend?”, he grinned from one ear to another. Oh kriff what had I put myself into? It was the first time I’ve ever said it out loud. Admitted it.

“Yes, unless you don’t want to be it.”

Quickly he shook his head. Grin still on his lips, before he moistened them with his tongue. “I’m a lucky trooper am I?”

“The luckiest of all”, I blushed.

Then he leaned down to me to close the gap fully and kiss me. Kissed me so I’d never wanted to kiss somebody else.

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #captain rex x reader #captain rex #oneshot #clone wars #fanfiction #writing #captain rex x Jedi reader #jedi reader #romance #i love him

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bi-disaster-yn · 2 years

Text

No but like… Coming Out as Bi to Bucky

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!bisexual!Reader

Summary: Reader comes out as bi to her boyfriend, Bucky and he’s a total sweetheart about it.

Format: Drabble

A/N: Just a cute lil drabble for any bi Bucky girlies like myself!!

There was no doubt in your mind that Bucky loved you. He was a doting and caring boyfriend who always tended to your needs and listened intently to you. Everyday, he would shower you with affection and remind you how much he loved you and how lucky he was to be with you.

However, it didn’t escape your notice that he grew up in the early half of the 20th century, a time period not exactly known for being notoriously LGBT friendly. It made you worry that he might not be able to accept your bisexuality.

Bucky had retained some old man habits such as insisting that he read the newspaper on paper rather on a computer as that’s how it was intended. He had set a prohibition on phones being present at the dinner table as back in his day people would actually have a conversation. He enjoyed 40s music and would rant endlessly that people don’t go dancing the way he used to. You found all of this about him endearing, especially when he would assert that you’d be the prettiest girl there and all of the other guys would be jealous. Nonetheless, it also made you deeply concerned that he could be harbouring some homophobic tendencies amongst those quaint ideals.

Whilst you loved him and only wanted to be with him, you felt that you were hiding something from having not came out to him yet. You were scared that he wouldn’t be able to accept it. Previous boyfriends hadn’t taken it seriously, often using it as an excuse to ask for a threesome or even recoiling in horror that you could ever possibly be attracted to more than one gender. And they had the advantage of having actually been raised in this century.

Looking over at Bucky, sitting on your sofa and reading his newspaper (in the paper hard copy of course), you knew you just had to rip this bandaid off and tell him. Afterall, this was a fundamental and beautiful part of you that you couldn’t change. If he couldn’t accept that, then that was his problem.

“Buck.” You announced, breaking the comfortable silence that was centred around you both.

“Hmm?” He asked, not looking up from the sports section. His eyebrows were knitted together in concentration as he analysed the reports as if he hadn’t heard them all before on the radio.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Okay, sweetheart. What’s up?” He folded his paper up properly and sat it to the his side, giving you his undivided attention. The corners of his mouth stretched into a little smile which was encouraging but you still felt a hint of dread.

“Well you see… the thing is… erm, I don’t know how to say this…” you cringed at your inability to say this properly. This was your boyfriend, he’d seen every single inch of you, he knew your deepest and darkest insecurities and even your most embarrassing childhood memory. How could this be so difficult?

“Doll, you’re starting to freak me out a little. Can you please just tell me what’s wrong?” Bucky frowned and moved so he was sitting at the edge of his seat, ready to reach out for you as he could sense how uncomfortable you were.

“I’m bisexual!” You blurted out. Bucky nodded at you and stayed silent. “Meaning I am attracted to more than one gen-“

“I was born in 1917, I think I’ve lived long enough to know what being bisexual is, baby.” Bucky chuckled at you. His face softened at your confession, relieved that it wasn’t something more sinister. You, on the other hand, were at a loss for words.

“Okay… so? What? Don’t you have an opinion on it?” You looked at him with a puzzled expression. He was so much calmer than you had expected him to be. You were the one delivering the news that was meant to be shocking but it was him making you do a double take.

“Am I supposed to have an opinion on it?” He raised his eyebrow. You stuttered and stammered in response, still in shock at his level of indifference to the situation. In comparison to telling your previous boyfriends which set off painful explosions that motivated shame and self-loathing within you, this was nothing.

Bucky could see you were internalising your reaction and he offered his arms out for you to sit on his lap. Your mind had went into overdrive trying to process his reaction that you didn’t even register the steps you took towards him to take your place on his knee. He wrapped his arms round your waist, pulling you close to his chest and kissed your cheek.

“Who promised me that they’d always love me, no matter what?” Bucky asked, running his thumb along your thigh soothingly.

“I did.” You mumbled in response.

“Exactly, you did. And I think I was pretty clear that I loved you no matter what, and if I wasn’t then this is me reminding you. So, why were you so nervous?” He squeezed your waist reassuringly and you started to feel more at ease. It allowed you to press on and voice your original concerns.

“It’s just that… you lived in the 40s! I can’t exactly imagine that the pride parades were lighting up the streets. You come from a time that people used to be arrested for being like me!” You confessed to him, looking into his deep blue eyes in search of some sort of understanding.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Bucky admitted. “But I am learning a lot, which you should be taking a good chunk of the credit for,” he gave you another squeeze which prompted a giggle from you. “And honestly, the fact is, you were born that way. I love everything about you, including this. No wait, especially this. Thank you for telling me and trusting me with it.”

Your heart warmed in a way that you had noticed had been specifically reserved for Bucky. You gave him a sweet kiss and rubbed your thumb along his jaw, unable to stop the widening smile on your face that made your cheeks hurt. “Thank you for being so understanding. That really meant a lot to me. Like, you have no idea. I love you so much, sweetie.”

Bucky smiled at you and peppered kisses all over your face, relishing in the giggles this brought out in you. “You’re my best girl. Nothing could change how I feel about you. Nothing at all.”

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theaudacitytowrite · 2 years

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Creatures of Glory

Loki (x Reader)

A/N: When I started writing this, it was supposed to be something with an ‘etheral’ vibe, based on the feeling I get when I listen to ‘Creatures of Glory’ by halfalive... I just did a little mistake and listened to ‘romantic homicide’ by d4vd so it became a little more depressing... hope you like it anyway

warnings: angst, very emotional (for me at least), bittersweet ending

word count: 3.257

Likes, comments, reblogs and notes are always appreciated! <3

It had started as a normal difference of opinions, a quarrel that occurred multiple times a day. Loki was used to it by now that anything he said or believed in would be ridiculed by his stoic father. But tonight, during dinner time it had escalated yet again.

Odin had yelled at Loki, had berated his decisions about everything and had accused him of malice towards the crown. The table grew uncomfortably quiet as Odin sighed deeply as if he was the one being persecuted at the moment.

“It is time you concentrate on a more important matter, child.” Odin declared exhausted, “Your brother will be king very soon and what are you doing? Wasting your time in the palace library.”

“I’m training, too,” Loki interjected hurt.

“The little hobby your mother taught you is no comparison to the blood and sweat Thor puts into his training, even in his free time! And what do you do?”

“Broaden my horizon about other cultures,” Loki mumbled under his breath, the fork lazily dragging over his plate. His hunger had been gone even before dinner had been served.

“Speak up!” Odin commanded sharply.

“I only try to educate myself further, father.” Loki tried to sound as calm as possible as he met Odin’s gaze. Odin’s hearty laughter was unsettling.

“Your claimed education makes you soft!” his face contorted in disgust, “You could spend your time so much wiser! Haven’t your books told you that? During the time you waste with ancient scriptures that are outdated, you could train your agility! It is time that you think like a royal! How can your knowledge of books benefit our people? How will they help once a hostile tribe decides to invade our home? Will you throw books at them in hopes they will cut themselves on the edges of the paper?”

“There are many ways in which books are hel-“

“Enough!” Odin yelled, cutting Loki off, “You will stop submerging your mind in these books you call entertainment! And if I must ban you from the library.”

Loki’s eyes widened in horror at Odin’s threat. One of the few places he had to escape from his confinement of people who simply didn’t care to understand him would be robbed of him just like that. His helpless look panned to Frigga in the hope she would appease her seething husband as she always did. But when her hand slid over the table to cover Odin’s hand, Loki already feared the worst.

“Your father only means well, son,” she spoke softly but her words hurt more than a million daggers piercing his heart. She agreed with Odin.

Loki gulped hard and nodded in defeat. He excused himself from the table, scurrying back to his chamber. He felt the anger rise in his chest and a heavy lump forming in his throat as he hurried through the corridors of the palace. He barely made out his surroundings as his glassy eyes blurred his view. The last thing he wanted now was to be seen by a servant who would surely spread the new gossip all around the palace.

As the heavy doors of his room shut behind him all the anguish left his lungs as he broke down to his knees. He felt taken back to his teenage years when the ‘rebellious kid’ had been humiliated in front of the entire council as he had asked a sensible question about Odin’s resolution. He had heard Odin yell a lot in his teens, but he had never heard him yell that long. Several days went by before Odin calmed down and Loki was tolerated in his presence again.

As he got older Loki realised that he had never been rebellious. In Odin’s eyes, he had always been guilty of treasonous thoughts. The aching truth was that Loki could’ve breathed just a little too loudly and Odin would’ve found treason in the way he had inhaled. No matter what he did, he could have never pleased his father.

Loki’s chest heaved as he angrily got up to his feet again. He couldn’t continue living like this, confined in a house where everyone only looked out for themselves, never even considering the needs or feelings of others. Loki gulped hard, the clump in his throat hurting. He needed space, this instant. He hurriedly grabbed his winter cloak, escaping over the railing of his balcony into the night. He knew exactly where he was headed, to the mountains that already called for him. The only place left for him in this god-forsaken realm that felt even remotely like a home, a safe haven.

Loki still remembered the first time it had given him comfort, back when he still was just a young boy. Thor and Loki often spend their days with their friends in the mountains of Asgard, playing their pretend games in the forest and the meadows that lead up to the highest point of the kingdom. On one particular day, they had played hide and seek. Loki had found the perfect hiding spot, excitedly waiting for the others to find him last. But when his legs started to hurt from crouching after what must’ve been hours and the sun had started to set accompanied by a cool breeze that tousled through the leaves, Loki’s anticipation of them finding him dwindled until they were smothered entirely. They had forgotten him.

Loki had strayed through the woods for another hour, calling out for his brother and friends, but to no response. It wasn’t the first time that they hadn’t bothered looking for him, but they had never left him behind before. He still felt the tears that rolled down his cheeks that day, as he tried to call out their names in between hiccups, bleakness arising deep down in him. That was the first time he realised that he would not only be a side character to his father, but to everyone else that played a role in his life. He just couldn’t understand why. Frigga had always told him that he was a loveable and valuable person, but why did nobody treat him like one then? When all his tears had been shed, he shuffled further into the forest. He had no intention of going home any time soon.

When Loki reached the rocky clearing that led up to the highest mountain his heart skipped a beat. An unfamiliar sensation suddenly spread through his veins. Had someone called his name? He listened carefully as he tried to make out the source. As his eyes roamed over the boulders before him, they got stuck at the sun-soaked clearing high up a stony path. He couldn’t quite describe why, but for some reason he felt compelled to climb up to it, as if the sunbathed clearing was drawing him in, enticing him to continue until he reached the top.

Once he overcame the last boulder and pulled himself up on the large ledge, he was awe-struck. He got to his feet, slowly walking towards the edge. The view was breathtaking as he was able to look over the entire Kingdom. He sat down, his legs dangling over the edge, as he watched the sun go down and the sky bled from red into blue. Hours later he had come back to his senses, a blanket covering his shoulders, when he realised that he had to be home a while ago. Hastily he hurried back home, worried about the reaction of his mother and father – but when he arrived at the palace, it seemed like no one had taken notice of his absence.

Ever since then, Loki had found comfort in his personal safe space up in the mountains. He made sure to tell no one of his special place nor be followed by anyone. But then again it was easy for him since he became more invisible to everyone with each passing day.

Loki couldn’t count the times he had sat here, watching the stars, whenever living at the palace had just become too much. Here he would find peace. It felt peculiar, sometimes he even questioned his own mind. His powers seemed to be in harmony up here, summoning blankets or treats before he even could think of it. As if a higher power was looking out for him, reading his every need in his heart as if it was an open book. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve thought, that someone was watching him, staying by his side in his most vulnerable moments, looking out to comfort him. Sometimes he would still feel this inexplicable force he had felt the day he had found this place, creep up his spine.

The most peculiar thing though happened whenever he fell asleep up there. The dreams he’d experienced felt more like memories, but when he woke up he was sure, that he had never experienced these situations ever before. Still, they felt as if they would happen one day. From time to time the same person would appear in them. He couldn’t quite make them out in his hazy dreams, he never got to know their name either, but they felt like home. Like someone Loki could trust without a single doubt of their loyalty to him. And no matter what crazy adventure came their way in his dreams, they were always at his side, looking after him and helping him through each obstacle after another.

Loki often times asked himself what these dreams meant. He soon came to the conclusion, that this spot brought out his deepest wishes and desires. He knew no matter how often he would claim that he did not need anybody, he was aware that he lied to himself. Because all he wished for was someone to understand him, see him for who he truly was and love him unconditionally. Someone who wouldn’t forget about him so easily and be there for him when he needed comfort the most. Someone just for him - a soulmate.

A stone suddenly buckled under his feet but like a miracle, a branch reached out and Loki grabbed it just in time. Loki sighed deeply as his mind focused back on reality. Soon he would be back at his place of tranquillity. He halted for a moment as he took a deep breath, trying to clear his head before he would continue his ascent. A silly argument was nothing worth dying for because of a misstep which would throw him into the throat of the canyon. It hadn’t been the brightest idea to run from the palace on the coldest night on Asgard but then again, Loki hadn’t chosen to fight with Odin tonight either.

The cool night air that was blowing around his body and piercing through the thick material of his leather garb would be soon forgotten and replaced by the warmth of his inner peace. The wind tousled in his locks as he climbed the mountain determined again. His nose was already bright red, he couldn’t even feel his ears anymore. With every meter, he climbed up the mountain his fingers began to get stiff.

As he climbed onto the ledge with the last ounce of his strength, he huffed exhausted. He brushed his hair out of his face as he tried to catch his breath. The night sky was clear, the stars twinkling brighter than they had in a while. Loki let himself fall onto the ground a few meters away from the edge. His gaze wandered over the peaks of the trees as he patiently waited for the calm to wash over him just as it did so many times before. A blanket appeared around his shoulders, and he chuckled bitterly. Something about this gesture felt more taunting to him than before. After all, what was the point in searching for comfort with nobody around able to provide it? Loki had always reckoned that one day his only solace would disappear as well. He just thought he had more time until that dreaded day would arrive.

All the overwhelming feelings from the past seemed to add onto another, threatening to crush him then and there. He felt so alone, isolated from everybody. A shiver ran over his body, the blanket not helping at all. Anger started to burn in his belly. Now even his only retreat was gone, taken from him because… he did not know why. He couldn’t recall what awful thing he had done to be robbed of his last comfort. He couldn’t understand why the gods seemed to hate him this much. All he had the audacity to ask for was to be seen by someone. To be loved just as much as Thor was.

“Is it too much to ask?” he angrily cried out into the night. His teeth clenched together tightly as he felt his heart being pulled apart.

“It’s not fair.” he huffed towards the ground. Tears filled his eyes instantly as if they had waited for their queue. Loki swallowed hard as he shook his head. His head fell onto his palms, his fingers tugging at his strands of hair. Loki let go of his perfectly crafted façade that was crumbling rapidly now, all his anguish and desperation breaking through the restraints, making him a sobbing mess.

He didn’t even notice at first when the black night sky suddenly lit up in a bright flash. The wind around Loki quickly picked up, whirling him around. Startled Loki slowly looked up from his palms. The stars started to burn even brighter, illuminating his surroundings as if it was daytime. Loki protectively covered his face with his arm, as he jumped to his feet to get away from the edge.

Would the gods punish him for his ungratefulness?

Before his eyes, the stars began to expand in a line until they connected. A crack emerged in the firmament. Loki’s eyes widened in shock as he watched closely as something appeared from behind the night sky. A face?

"Who are you?" Loki tried to bark at the sky but the wavering in his voice betrayed the fear that spread through his limbs and threatened to choke him.

'Don't be afraid' a sweet melodic voice resounded through his head. Loki turned around hectically, trying to find the source of the voice.

"This can't be real." his breath threatened to get out of hand as he fell back to his knees, cowering on the ground while he covered his face.

'Loki, you're safe.' the voice tingled in his thoughts. The indescribable calmness he had waited for finally washed over him as the storm around him subsided as well. Suddenly he could breathe freely again, with no sign of panic left. He slowly removed his hands from over his eyes as he glanced up into the night sky.

"You're beautiful." he gasped in awe as he observed them in the sky, their eyes twinkling in the most beautiful y/e/c he had ever seen, "Are you God?"

A chuckle flit through his mind before it resounded: 'Far from it.'

"Who are you then?"

'A friend.'

“Of whom?”

‘Of you.’ echoed through his body. Loki's eyes widened as he connected the dots.

"All these years... was that you?" suddenly everything fell into place for him. The sleepless nights he had endured just to be greeted by a steaming hot mug of his favourite tea. The decisions he made even though they had never occurred to him until he had decided on them, “But why?”

‘Because you're special to me.'

"I?" he asked bewildered.

‘Yes you, you silly prince.’ the voice's hearty laughter made Loki’s heart skip a beat.

“What's your name?” he asked fidgetily, but it was silent for a while, “Please, let me know my guardian angel's name.”

‘My name is Y/N.’

"Y/N" Loki repeated slowly, “Such a beautiful name.”

‘Thank you.’ Y/N chuckled abashed.

“Tell me, Y/N. Why did you show yourself to me tonight?” Loki asked tentatively.

‘Because you needed someone.’ Y/N’s voice brushed over Loki like a soothing hug, ‘Someone to tell you that you’re not alone and loved by many.’

“How would you know that?” Loki asked astonished.

‘Because I do as well.’ To see Y/N’s warm smile, made Loki’s cheeks heat up, ‘You mean so much to a lot of people, an uncountable number.’

“But what do they see in me?” Loki asked bewildered, feeling conflicted by their praise.

‘Because you give them hope. There are so many who struggle with life and the circumstances they were born in as well. And they look up to you, they find comfort in you.’

“They really do?”

‘Yes. They would do anything to give you a hug or just be able to speak to you. To treat you just like you deserve, with unconditional love and affection.’

“But I did nothing to deserve it.” Tears brimmed in his eyes again.

‘You did so much.’ Y/N sniffed, ‘You helped so many people overcome their fears, and helped them to build healthy boundaries with their friends and family.’

“I did?”

‘And so much more.’ Y/N nodded, ‘Loki, you are loved and appreciated by all of us. You’re perfect just the way you are.’

“Wow.” Loki huffed as he shuffled towards the edge, sitting down to let his feet swing over like he had done so many times. He was still processing what was going on, trying to decipher if this was really happening or if he had fallen to his death earlier when he had ascended the mountain.

“Am I... dead?” blurted from his

‘No,’ Y/N hushed him, but their sad smile gave away, that they knew something he did not.

“Will I die soon?” he couldn’t help but ask.

‘I cannot tell you that.’ Y/N gulped, ‘But even when the day comes, you'll always stay alive in my heart forever.’

“And you will be with me then?” he asked through tears.

‘Until the very last breath you take.’ Y/N confirmed again.

‘ Loki, can you promise me something?’ Y/N’s voice made him look back up to the sky.

“Of course!”

‘Please never doubt your worth. You’re not a freak of nature and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are deserving of love and affection and all kinds of good things.’ Loki nodded eagerly.

“Will I remember this?” Loki suddenly asked fearfully, unsettled by the idea he might forget this the second Y/N was gone.

‘Deep down you'll keep this as a faint memory of a dream.’ Y/N reassured him warmly. Loki nodded thoughtfully when the wind around him started to pick up again, howling in his ears.

“Wait, please don't go!” Loki watched leaves tousle around him, the panic he felt earlier returning, “Please don’t leave me.”

‘I'll never leave you.’ Y/N’s voice resounded firm yet calming, ‘I’m always near you Loki, I won't ever leave you alone. Never.’

“Will we see each other again?" he asked woefully.

'We’ll see us in your dreams again,' Y/N assured. Loki nodded torpidly as it sank in.

“Thank you,” he whispered only over a breath as he watched the firmament slowly close again. He didn’t miss the sad smile that Y/N mustered up, a single tear rolling down their cheeks, falling through the gap just before it closed. Heavy clouds pushed themselves over the sky, releasing the water they had carried. Loki let the droplets drench him as he longingly stared up to the sky, his chest was overflowing with love yet he didn’t understand where it had come from.

Taglist: @lucywrites02 @funsized-mimi @gaitwae @queenjosielaufeyson @1marvelnerd3000 @darkacademicfrom2021 @lostgreekgod @tendertalesmain @donttouchmylaevateinn @asgardianprincess1050 @msturi2u @high-functioning-lokipath @elius-learns-to-write @plainlo-inthemorning @kokinu09 @midnights-ramblings @donaweasley @itsreallyjustmeh @sititran @lindsey-laufeyson @ethanshide @delaber @anonymousfiction211 @itsybitchylittlewitchy @iamalinarose @xorpsbane @vbecker10 @limiworld @ilovefanfictions @crazzycrackers04 @tinctureofmaddness @marvelfanfn2187a113 @cosplayingwitch @sylvies4ever @tanushreeg27 @kellatron55 @loveshineslikethesky @scram1326 @camerons-specialinterest @mooncat163 @leucoratia @acefeather2002 @mochie85 @usagishira @michelleleewise @mischief2sarawr @lokidbadguy @ozymdias

#loki #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki oneshot #loki drabble #loki blurb #loki fic #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson #loki friggason #loki odinson #loki angst

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nevis-the-skeleton · 2 months

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Black Bird Fazbear Fright : Why it's a bad representation of school harassment

Hello everyone, today we are going to talk about one of the Fnaf Fazbear Fright stories: Black Bird. Well, I would like to warn you, I didn't read the story, because it is not available in my country, but I saw Dawko's summary, and I documented myself as best I could to have the best vision as clear as possible. And, from what I've seen, this story is frankly… Not bad, but it has a very bad moral! Not about apologizing and forgiving, but about the representation that is made of school bullying.

For the summary, a boy named Noel, who has harassed a girl in the past is pursued by a demon bird who haunts him and plunges him into the guilt of his actions, and the only way he has to escape release it and apologize to those to whom he has harmed. Well, that's a very rough summary, but it's so that those who haven't read the story can follow, because I think it's important that as many people as possible know what's wrong with this story.

Bullying is bad, yes I know I'm not learning you something, but apparently the author doesn't think so, or presented it in a very bad way! First, when Noel tells his friend Sam that he bullied a girl, he laughs about it, and it's only because Sam tells him that it's not funny that he questions himself a little. Come on, I can understand that, if he wasn't aware that what he did was wrong, why not. But, I think that from the moment you put a dead mole in someone's locker, it's not to make them laugh! It’s clearly meant to do harm!

Already, this point prevents me from becoming attached to Noel, but even then it is not that problematic, as long as the character questions himself, which he seems to do. The problem is how he questions himself, why he does it. Basically, he's being chased by Black Bird and his girlfriend is telling him that he should apologize to the girl he bullied. He says he's going to do it, but the second Black Bird is absent, he withdraws, like: "oh come on, I'll check that he's really there, because frankly I don't want to apologize." He didn't say it like that, but that's really how I felt it.

And it’s only because Black Bird comes back that he decides to apologize to Christine! Man, you can't be more selfish! He only apologizes for his own well-being, because he is afraid for his life! If my bully came back to me, with someone holding a knife to his throat, and forced him to apologize, I would not consider his apology valid. Since he's fucking threatening imminent death! So that’s already a very big negative point, but it’s not the worst!

When Noel goes to Christine, who seems to be doing very well (she is in good health, she has lots of friends and everything), she does not recognize him. Like, bruh, no actually! That's not how it works! A bullied person generally doesn't forget their bully, and certainly not the one who called her fat and shoved dead f*cking moles into her locker! This is basically not possible! But it's not just that, and honestly that's what triggers me the most, she thanks him for bullying her, because it made her stronger, opened her eyes, and allowed her to get better.

…

Really, I don't have the words… What kind of bullshit is this? What kind of morality is that?! What it teaches the reader, indirectly, is: “Bullying is good, it allows people to improve!”, “Come on, tell this shy kid that he’s fat and ugly, so he’ll start playing sports and take care of his health!” NO! NO! and NO! Sorry, but I'm angry right now! There is nothing more destructive than school bullying! This shit kills people every year, it doesn't help anyone, and it certainly doesn't make you better! It's not a funny thing, it's not a joke! This is truly the worst moral I have ever seen in a story!

Remember one thing: apologizing is good, forgiving is liberating, but bullying is the worst creation of humanity. That's all I have to say about this story, I'm sure some will disagree with my opinion, but I really needed to get this out of my mind.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fazbear frights #black bird #my opinion #bullying is bad #yes #fnaf books

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heich0e · 10 months

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wait if you said that you're gonna stop the oopsy baby series 'for now' are you implying that you're gonna continue it at some point in the future or....? 🤨

I've gotten way more asks about this than I expected, and I won't reply to them all to spare your dash (since they mainly address the same things) but in the interest of transparency here are the highlights:

1. Are you going to continue the mini megumi series? /post any other parenthood fics?

I honestly don't know. I was going to add more to this reply but I've just been staring at the screen for like 10 minutes.

2. Why?

A couple of reasons, but if I'm being really honest I saw a lot of mutuals (who I sincerely like and respect, present tense) posting about how much they dislike parenthood/pregnancy fics and how sick they make them feel and it just didn't feel good.

I want to be really really clear that I TRULY and wholeheartedly believe that everyone is entitled to like what they like, and dislike what they dislike. But the problem is that when you express those opinions while disparaging the people whose opinion are different from yours, or if you choose to be vocal about your dislike of something when you see someone enjoying it, it can be really hurtful. It made me feel uncomfortable about continuing the series if I knew people felt that way and I was possibly upsetting them.

3. Is it because of the "exclusionary" ask?

No! This all happened before I received (or at least saw) that ask. And while I do completely and totally understand where that anon was coming from, and I support them 100% in sharing that very valid criticism with me, the fic probably wouldn't have changed because of it—though I would have started putting a tag in the updates alerting readers to the fact that Kota is described at multiple points throughout the story as being identical to Megumi in case it was sensitizing/alienating/in any way offensive to them.

The inspiration for the fic was that a child who is virtually identical to him shows up at his doorstep, and the entire series is predicated on that idea. I should have made that much clearer at the outset and I really apologize for my oversight and to anyone who I hurt by being careless in that way. I have since gone back and edited each instalment to feature a warning about this in the header, and hope that people who will feel excluded by this plot point can make whatever decision feels best for them in regards to engaging with the fic!

4. I don't like you.

Me neither.

5. I love parenthood fics and I think you should keep writing them.

I also like parenthood fics, and I think they're fun to write! And this is coming from someone who isn't even sure they ever want to have kids themselves. But sort of nodding back to point 2, I don't want to post any kind of fic that people who i consider friends begin vocally posting about disliking. Especially because I really don't follow that many people, so when every third post on my dash is dunking on the trope I'm actively posting about, it just makes me feel kind of sad and unwelcome.

This is absolutely NOT intended to be an indirect/vague about those moots, and if you're reading this I hope you know that I mean that from the BOTTOM of my heart. They are JUST as entitled to this space as I am, and I am in no way at all trying to impose myself and my opinions onto them. I just don't know how to filter anti-trope content from my user experience without inadvertently also filtering the content I DO want to see, and if I'm being honest I just don't think it's not worth losing mutuals who I really like over.

I'm saying all of this with nothing but love, and I hope that no one is too upset about it. I'm sorry if you were enjoying the series and now aren't sure about its future. I'm sorry if me expressing the way I was hurt makes you feel bad too. I'm really logging off now for a bit, and I hope you all take care of yourselves!! Be good, sending love, talk soon <3

#liv got mail #i apologize if i'm being dramatic! life is already hard and i just don't need to feel this way about a hobby!#kiss kiss kiss kiss #love u big #tw parenthood #tw pregnancy

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taeyongdoyoung · 2 years

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summary: when chan comes home one night feeling upset, you do your best to ease his worries and give him some much-needed hugs

pairing: chan x reader

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship

warnings: swearing (like once), mentions of hate comments, self-hatred, perfectionism, unhealthy sleeping routine, but also some cuddling and softness bc channie deserves only the best 🥺

author’s note: this is a very early bday gift for my dear unnie @chaotic-fairy 💜 and the title was inspired by billie eilish’s song everything i wanted, while the scene with berry was influenced by this fanart

word count: 1k

You were waiting for your boyfriend Chan to come back home. It was getting pretty late but you didn't feel sleepy and wanted to see him. You knew that he was busy working and creating more music but still, you couldn't help but miss him and wish for more time to spend in his arms. Finally, at around 3am you heard the door unlocking and his figure sliding inside quietly, probably because he thought you had fallen asleep by now. Judging by his crestfallen expression, something had happened. It was possible that he was just really tired but still, you had to make sure he was okay.

"Hey, baby, is everything alright?" you asked him and greeted him with a hug.

"I'm fine," he mumbled but you knew him well enough to know when he was lying. He even tried to fake a smile in an attempt to continue pretending but it was quite unsuccessful, in your opinion.

"You can tell me anything, you know that, right? How was your day?" you insisted.

"Everything's normal," Chan shrugged but you weren't having it.

You gave him the look. The one that suggested that bottling things up was very unhealthy. He immediately understood and sighed. Then, he slowly started opening up:

"It's just that...I saw some mean comments about the members and...I got really angry. They don't deserve such treatment and I wish there was something I could do to stop people from hurting them."

"Haters will always find something good to shit on but their vile words signify nothing. I'm sure the members are fully aware of that. And they have you."

"I know, but still. They're doing their best and I get super frustrated when their efforts remain unnoticed."

"I'm certain that STAY appreciate the members' hard work. As do their family. And you and I."

"I suppose you're right," Chan smiled sadly. But you could tell there was more on his mind. You didn't want to press him too hard so you simply waited. After a couple of moments, he continued talking. "The thing is...when I read such comments about myself, I couldn't care less. I mean, I hate me too, so what else is new?" he laughed coldly.

"Oh, Channie," you cried out in pain, beyond devastated that your loved one felt this way. "I wish I could make you see yourself the way I do. The way the members do. The way STAY do. You are beyond amazing and I don't just mean your song-writing skills or your lovely voice or your stage presence or your beautiful body. Though I appreciate all these things as part of you, I mostly fell in love with your pure heart, your wonderful personality, your genuine smile. How you always reassure everyone around you with your kind words. How you manage to make someone's day with your warm hugs and your sense of humour and your gentle soul. How you take care of everyone. Let me take care of you for a change."

Your boyfriend's eyes teared up with emotion and he couldn't do much but stare at you in disbelief.

"Thank you, dearest. It'll take me some time to believe that but I appreciate you saying all this. And I'm really grateful that you're there for me. Even though I'm far from perfect. I wish I could give you more of my time and..."

"Christopher, stop," you scolded him playfully but with no ill intent. "You are more than perfect to me. And if you don't like that word, I won't use it. How about this...you are more than good enough."

"That sounds nice," he chuckled lightly.

"Let's get you to bed, alright?" you suggested.

"I don't feel like sleeping, though," he groaned. Even after working late hours, he was still having a hard time letting go and just taking it easy.

"I won't force you, of course. But can I at least hold you?"

"There's nothing I would like more."

Once you got on the bed inside your room, you noticed the lovely Berry sleeping soundly. Chan gently caressed her, his hands barely grazing her fur, so that he wouldn't wake her up. You smiled fondly. He had the biggest heart. It was beyond you how he didn't realize how special he was, not just to you but to many others, as well. When you were both safely tucked beneath the sheets, you pulled him closer into a tight embrace. Running your fingers through his hair and whispering soft words into his ear, you could feel his usually tense muscles slowly relaxing.

"I love you," you murmured quietly.

His breathing had become more regularly paced and you realized he was already drifting away into dreamland. So much for not feeling sleepy. You stared at his beautiful figure and didn't dare move for fear of waking him up. During those rare times when he actually got some sleep, he looked even more like the angel you knew he was. Inside and out, his heavenly heart paired with his feathery eyelashes and his soft skin. If only he knew how much he meant to you. How the earth would be such a grim place without his divine presence. With those thoughts floating in your mind like little fuzzy clouds, you soon followed him into the world of dreams.

In the morning, he was the first one to wake. Your sleep was interrupted by his moving about, but you didn't mind in the slightest. You treasured every moment spent in his company.

"Why did you let me fall asleep? Argh, you should have woken me up, I still had some work to-" he was panicking a little. But he didn't look angry with you, rather he was frustrated with himself. He always had the highest expectations of his own capabilities.

"Relax, darling," you replied. "You deserved some rest. A lot of it, actually."

"Yeah, but..."

"Shh, no buts," you insisted firmly. "Sleep is very important. Don't make me tie you up to the bed next time you ignore your health."

"Was that a threat?" Chan giggled teasingly.

"It's a promise," you grinned and kissed him softly, wrapping him into another hug so that he could stay in bed a little longer. You weren't greedy. Just five more minutes. Chan buried his head into your shoulder. Okay, maybe ten...

The End

#stray kids #chan #chan x reader #chan fluff #chan angst #bang chan #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #hurt/comfort #stray kids imagines #chris bang #writing

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