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diaryofellen · 1 year

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the black cat is the villain? could you please elaborate? I'm asking out of genuine curiosity, I haven't heard this before.

autism card: activated

okso. i mean all of this is layed out very clear in the novel/manga, but if youre less familiar with it then i get why it might sound a little odd. key things to remember though is that the black cat made a deal with ellen when she was only seven years old. not only that, ellen was literally on the verge of death at that point and was not told anything about becoming a witch or such at the point when she made the deal - literally all she was told was that she would be given like, shelter. to not die. 'magic' is mentioned offhandedly to just say "uhhhhhhhhhhh magic magic gives you House" without explaining anything about it

mind you, this does happen after ellen kills her parents - but, i mean, not to excuse killing your parents (dont do that), but ellen is a very traumatized and neglected child and she does express genuine remorse and guilt after killing them. and maybe im just an ellen apologist but i find it really hard to think that makes her flatout evil/irredeemable at this point.

the "XXXX" thing in the game/manga where the word 'kill' is blacked out with X's might obviously just be a stylistic thing. but based on the first way its used in the manga, i choose to interpret it as a sign of ellens own denial. shes a guilty child who doesnt really want to accept guilt. she becomes much more comfortable using the word 'kill' later and accepting the grim reality of what she does, but at the start, ellen doesnt want to consider herself a killer.

anyway. back to the black cat. the whole first part of the manga/novel shows ellens genuine childlike innocence and wonder. within the first chapters shes really just a sweet girl excited to learn things and play.

and a major thing that makes the black cat an ASSHOLE is that he purposefully leaves out many details of the situation until ellen is in a position of desparation and despair. the black cat doesnt directly break ellens spirit at any point himself, but he sure as hell leads her to despair and then manipulates and emotionally abuses her. and his manipulation works. if the black cat said to ellen "hey kill ur friend for the house to eat cuz youre unlovable scum" when ellen was having fun with her new friend, ellen would probably be alot more reluctant. her new friend loves her, after all. its the love shes been seeking.

at no point does ellen say this friendship is the love shes been seeking, but...its quite obvious, isnt it? the genuine friendship she had with this little boy wasnt an act or anything. ellen genuinely felt loved and her friendship with this boy alleviated her loneliness.

but the black cat didnt explain to ellen, a SEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD who only JUST LEARNED HOW TO READ, the reason why she cant leave the house. and he didnt explain this to her because he wanted to set her up to fall into the trap where she would confront despair and be much more willing to kill out of desparation. you can say "oh ellen was told she cant leave the house, she did it of her own choice so even if she didnt know what would happen its her fault" but shes a dumb kid who made a mistake. a mistake that she was set up to make, reopened her emotional wounds and was used to manipulate her

the black cat doesnt ever like, literally lie to her. but its deception and lies by omission and it is very, very intentional. its with the goal of breaking this damaged child down more and more to push her to the brink again by intentionally triggering her insecurities and fears and exploiting the fact she killed once before as a way to desensitize her to it

its only after all this "evil cat emotionally torments a child and tells her shes unlovable scum who nobody will ever care about because her body makes her worthless and subhuman" thing, that the black cat actually offers her this:

note that its phrased as a cure and not 'a body switching spell'. she doesnt actually learn that its a body switching spell until just before meeting viola. the first person ellen kills for the house is the little boy she befriended. the manga doesnt do a good job at conveying ellens feelings here so these are is excerpts from the novel. it genuinely hurts her. it hurts her to kill her first friend. but the fear of never being loved, living forever in a body doomed to rot away without any care or compassion, hurts her more. and at this point, after everything shes gone through and the emotional manipulation of the black cat, shes convinced that she is just fundamentally unlovable and this will never, ever change. she even percieves the boys apology at first as being 'fake'- that is, she knows he would feel no sympathy or friendship for her knowing how sick she really is.

..all this is to say. while ellen and viola were born in different eras, as ellen lived for hundreds of years as a witch, i genuinely think that if somehow they could have met earlier, ellen would have been able to see that violas friendship was the love she was after. that viola wasnt trying to decieve or use her, and that she didnt need to hurt viola to be loved. if they had somehow met before all this, ellen wouldve accepted viola as like her big sister. someone who didnt run from her and accepted her despite her illness. but after all the emotional manipulation and abuse shes put through by the black cat for his own goals, ellen sees pretty much nobody as being on her side and she becomes devoted only to the goal of having a healthy body. she cannot concieve of violas love for her being real, because she believes it is simply impossible for anyone to love her as she is.

and the black cats monologue at the end of the kindle edition also shows the black cats bizzare behaviour towards ellen and how he knew he was manipulating her and making her dependent on him. (side note, WHY is the black cat also supposedly a young boy???? where the hell are the adults in this setting??????)

id say that the witchs house is fundamentally a story about the cycles of abuse. ellen certainly isnt a good person, but the character who causes most of the events and tragedies to occurr is really the black cat, with ellen moreso acting as a sort of puppet. ellen best girl ellen best witch ellen did nothing wrong (<- THATS A LIE)

#the witchs questions #long post

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youranxiousnerd · 3 years

Text

The Transformation Thoughts

bc hsmtmts said gay rights

spoilers below

yesss seb doing the recap

wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug

cow baby!!!

wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation

Natalie is back!!

ej and ricky with the mask

kourtney’s outfit!!!

ashlyn’s outfit...

ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works

RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?!

i love it

ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise

ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL

like pop off

ricky and the mask

that mask is the true villain in season 2

“Belle, I-” flops

Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle

how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god

the cap

that damn mask

“It’s okay, it was just my face”

Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread

finally some ashlyn and ricky content

“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?

“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”

Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager

“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest

“There is math involved”

“OH”

sassy seb

i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!

and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do.

the crew cannot be that bad

btw here are my thoughts on this scene

guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours

portwell shoulder bump

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU

OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!

I WANT ANSWERS

i. cannot. with. this. show.

lily wtf

“is this too weird” yes

like why?

lily like actually shut up

big red’s “wtf”

let her be evil damnit

“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why

that was really weird, anyways

“he gets weird around tools”

me too

no give big red the drill he knows how to use it

someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run

why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope

“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”

“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”

HE DID THE FINGER GUNS

GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH

ashlyn’s bucket

CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT

OH MY GOD

they’re so gay soulmates

let big red have his skateboards

“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown

wait they havent talked in a week

Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years

“You’re still at school”

“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”

such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)

“ah, Sebby”

“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug

the girls ship seblos

“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”

alright here come the tears

why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!

“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”

shiz that hit close to home.

Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?

wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people.

“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”

it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic

Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic

and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej?

Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.

“The farmer type”

Ash and Red exchanging gossip

wait... why are they texting about this?

“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?”

“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY

RICKY!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

carlos and gina chaotic siblings

give ej a hug

“Sweet boy”

im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.

Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.

“Verging on failure”

jennzara therapy

slowwww burn

you go from hand holding to fist bump

disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”

so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?

do not play let you go for nini

do. not.

“You guys are a hallmark movie”

for once ricky is being smart

“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles

he is so whipped

“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”

that was so sweet and then there is bro

i love this show

“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro”

him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship

i love ricky in this scene

“Yeah, let’s just write”

ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW

nina shut the actual hell up

“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood

“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING

GAHHHH

I LOVE IT

howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening

“and begging”

“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.

he is so awkward around seb

it’s like a switch

“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE

GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU

GINA HONEY!!!

AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE

PORTWELL YESSSS

gina’s little run

“Am I in trouble?”

they’re so nervous

oh my god its time

“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG

can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?

“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”

seb is so whipped like look at him?

they’re so in love

seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”

the hands omfg

oh my god they’re going to dance

SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS

I WAS RIGHT

OH MY GOD

SHIT GUYS IM DYING

gah the hands i cant

carlos is leading i love it

the tie

a tie just killed me

im combusting

You’re honor, they’re in love

i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later

i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.

THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT

damnit big red

big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season

in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.

I...I love it

the lyrics are perfect

In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season

“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”

these boys are just serenading each other left and right

“Yeah”

so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?

I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke.

In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).

“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars

BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage

Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper

“Bro”

you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!

im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM

you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle

gahhh

RICKY

OH MY FRICKING GOD

NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF

WTF WAS THAT ENDING

UMMMMM NO

i legit have no words oh my god

they just killed the lead

you guys saw the rope you should have ran

you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case

rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging

EAST HIGH WTF

Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER

My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.

To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover

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captainshazamerica · 3 years

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If this Bruce doesn't adopt Tim I will! But I'm kinda scared for Tim I mean he's either gonna end up with Buce or the titans at some point, im afraid that something terrible is gonna happen his family and then titans/bruce takes him in? That boy loves batman and robin so much like even his family seeing the news knew how much it would upset him although I will say that for the brain that kid has he makes some pretty stupid decisions, hes driving around GOTHAM plastered in the bat-symbol that's not a good idea! the amount of lunatics that roam free in Gotham (and possibly have escaped from arkham) and hate the bat and hes driving around with the bat symbol on him KID be careful!

Some kind of Anti-fear toxin does seem more accurate cuz he's clearly taking something to not be afraid. Maybe it's something he found in Gotham and decided to try it and got addicted so he's using that lab place to try recreate it? and maybe he can't recreate it perfectly cuz in the crowbarring scene he seemed kinda anxious about his surroundings and he'd just taken that inhaler thing to overcome fear so I dunno?? Or maybe he went to arkham to see Crane for some reason and Crane has orchestrated the whole thing and told him about the drug but then wouldn't Crane have to know everyone's identity then? Dude I dunno I need more episodes even tho the low quality glitchyness is painful lol

There's probably an abundance of rooms to choose from at Wayne manor yet Jason takes Dicks old room and keeps the flying graysons posters up! I like to think that he does view dick as an older brother and just took his room to kind of have a connection to him and that he admires him hence the graysons posters being left up, yooo dick calling him his brother! I really want a nice family reunion with dick jason and bruce 💕

Babs was too mean to bruce when she went off like I get where she's coming from but yo lady his son just died dial it down like a notch yikes but also babs being like 'i wonder how long it'll take for bruce to replace jason and dick is all 'what no the last thing bruce is gonna do is rope another kid into this mess'. Cut to scene of Bruces potential robin folder 😅 but I also like that dick was trying to be considerate and compose himself for bruce but once he found out that bruce is idiot enough to pull another kid into this, that that's when he got mad and bruce so brokenly begging dick to come back and be robin 😢😢😢

I know the show is constantly trying to push bruce out/sideline him cuz it's a titans show not a bruce wayne show and I know they're going for a different portrayal of bruce which I'm not complaining about I do like this version of bruce (more than I thought actually) and this universe but I feel like they could have gave more cracks you know, I like that they showed him trying to avoid the reality of jasons death and just not stopping not even for a second and just immediately jump into another case and that breakdown verge where he's begging dick to be robin and then when he finally I guess let's the weight of jasons loss sit on him to the point where he whacks in jokers head with a crowbar just like he killed jason (he could have killed joker so many other ways like a less violent bullet to the head but oh no brucey crowbars him to death!!)

There's a lot of character stuff that i do like but that scene where he's in the cave on his knees scrubbing his sons blood out of the suit he died in, the suit that he only ever wore because of batman. 😢 I feel like they could have had him crack there and let out a gut wrenching scream and then just continue on doing what he was doing as if nothing happened and dick walking in on that should have had more of a reaction!? like he could have stopped in his tracks at the sight of his brothers blood all over his father and bruce screaming, dick could have like took a step back almost like he's gonna run but forces himself to stay there, because who wouldn't want to run from that and no matter how much horrible things you've dealt with before sometimes your brain does just take over against your will and makes you react, the rest of the scene just could have played out the way it did. Literally one ounce more emotion is all I wanted.

No one really emotionally cracked at jasons death. I get that it just happened and that people put walls up and denial can be such a prominent thing when a loved one dies but it couldn't have been that difficult to put in little mannerisms now and again to show that everyone is deeply hurt but holding it in. Honestly gar seemed more hurt to me than dick did. But I do like that dick reacted in detective mode and started trying to figure things out from jasons side so at least there's that.

This redhood is defo not an anti hero he has well and truly landslided into villian territory and I dunno how that's gonna be reconciled? they better not kill him off! and they better not just straight up keep redhood/jason as a full on villian! but if they do get through to jason and bring him back a little how the heck is that little man gonna deal with what he did to Hank?? I feel like they had a bond you know and for all Hanks talk about putting Jason down I really don't think that Hank would actually have killed him even if it came down to Hanks life vs Jasons I think Hank would rather die than kill Jason (but that's heavily biased cuz in my mind jason is my son and I freaking love hank sooo) but Hank to me puts on a hard front like 'yeah I'll get in your face I'll come at you b*tch' but internally he's like 'yeah I'll come at you to help you' 😅 like internally he defo has a lot of soft spots though that's not to say he'd be like this for someone like the joker or scarecrow or whatever guys like that he'd be like no screw you you die or go to arkham like byeee

Nevermind how jason is gonna come back from this though HOW IN THE ACTUAL SH*T is dawn gonna come back from this!!?!!

Random side note here but imagine Jasons first time in the batcave he would be so excited and trying to mess with everything and being like ohh what's that do and pressing random buttons and bruce having a hernia trying to get jason to stop before he accidentally blows the cave up 😅 also he has probably been caught several times trying to 'borrow' the batmobile, I can just picture him trying to sneak down the halls of the manor without the floor creaking and making it all the way into the cave and doing a victory dance cuz he didn't get caught and he hops on into the batmobile in his pj's and let's out a scream cuz alfred is sitting in the freakin passenger seat waiting for him and then they just hang out in the batmobile alfred had the good foresight to bring a flask of tea books and a blanket for jason

Speaking of Alfred I think it would have been more angsty and hurtful if Alfred died shortly after Jason and after a few days Jason claws his way out his grave and the first thing he sees is Alfreds headstone and that's how he finds out Alfred died : (((

This is so long girl I'm sorry I know it doesn't seem like it but I did restrain myself 😅 one more thing before I go maybe this Dick is the absolute worst mf and the reason babs feels betrayed by him and is so upset with him could be that he left her (or cheated on her) with Dawn cuz of that weird flashback thingy in the other season where dick dawn was a thing I dunno I hope not though that would be ughhh

Oh crap, you right about probably something bad will happen to Tim for Bruce or Titans to take him in, I was gonna say he could just demand to be in their lives to save Bruce/Dick like in the comics but he also has kinda shitty parents normally and these people seem cool so really it could go either direction, but like it’s Titans so it doesn’t look good lol. Also, I wonder if it’s gonna be Dick who is basically gonna adopt him this time since we already had a huge track record in just 2 seasons lmao. But I know right, true I like how his parents knew immediately how much the news would effect him 😭 I hope he goes down the making himself robin and forcing himself in Dick and Bruce’s life xD I love that route. Lmao, the kid is all book smart, very little street smart when it doesn’t have to do with outsmarting someone XD

I was also rewatching and that gas he takes def has to be some anti fear toxin cause he mentions fear so many times and flash backed to his near death fall, which he felt was probably holding him and back and thus had to prove himself and adds to whatever is influencing him. But ohhh he did seem pretty dang anxious at the carnival grounds, that’s a really interesting theory but recreating something he found hmm, I can see that.

Apparently according to a YouTube who got to see the first 5 episodes, we find out what his deal is a lot more in episode 5, so one more week hopefully

Brooo trueee, I couldn’t believe jason took dick’s room and like didn’t even change anything. Like Jason looks or at least use to look up to Dick SO much, like in his first episode in the first season, he went on quite a lot about how much he had always wanted to meet him and how much he looked up to him, which is probably also fueling his red hood rage, being hurt by your idol and brother like he did in S2 must have really just killed the boy. But yes omg, there freaking better be a dang family reunion scene like, after so much angst we deserve that 😭

And yesss, I loved seeing how mature Dick is getting and just how much he is growing as a character, the fact he was so calm and considerate with Bruce at first really shows that compared to s1 Dick, only breaking when Bruce tried to get more kids involved. That scene by Brenton was sooo well acted omg, the way he yelled that he doesn’t want to robin again, heartbreaking man. And Bruce begging like that omg

Yeah, this version of Bruce is def so different than any Bruce we have seen on screen before, like def the most emotionally constipated, and that’s saying something xD But I like how they are taking a risk, it also helps Dick’s character more and give him more of an arc, as he seems to be taking on Bruce’s normal role with Jason and red hood. Bro, you are so right omg, like the fact Bruce could have killed the joker in any way and he does it with the dang crowbar. It really shows how broken he really was and why the man shouldn’t depressing any and every damn feeling and emotion lol.

Omg, I love how you have the exact details of what you wanted to happen in that one Bruce and Dick scene 😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 bro if you dont already you should totally write fanfics cause that was so detailed, I love it

Yeah, I do wish someone cracked (other than Bruce lmao) a bit more, but I do think each character reacted in character though, like it is very Dick(at least this version of Dick, other versions may break down tbh) to put everything into solving the case and figuring out what was up, that’s more this version’s way of caring than just breaking down, like he rarely ever has broken down completely. I think dawn could have been a little more emotional about the death (tho she has enough coming for her lmao). Connor didn’t know Jason that well so it makes sense he would just be sad. Gar seemed pretty sad and in character about it, maybe could have had a bit more, same with Kori, tho she showed it by being almost angry and fiercely protective of everyone else, so I think that makes sense for her. It would have been interesting to see how Rachel and Rose would have reacted though (where did rose go btw?! She would so have a reaction to Jason’s death). But yeah, i wish there was more resolution and break downs for Jason, but also it may have just not felt real since they weren’t there? But I agree

You think? Idk, I think they could def still make him an anti hero towards the end, especially if it’s crane behind the whole thing. Cause if they don’t they are gonna have to go down the gosh awful overused villain gets redeemed while he dies/only to die right freaking after , and I will be so freaking livid if they do that omg. Like they better freaking not. But true, he would be broken by what he did to Hank, oh yikes. But I can see him then that leading to the anti hero path, like he would never go back to be on the titans cause he would feel too guilty, thus giving more of a reason for the anti hero life. But I know, I loved Jason and Hank’s love hate relationship 😭😭😭😭 You know Hank secretly loved the kid and probably saw himself in him.

Yikes poor dawn, you right. Like I have no idea how she is gonna be now like wow.

OMG GIRL, You are on a hc angst train today!!!! That scenario of Alfred dying right after jason and Jason climbing out to see Alfred’s?! Heartbreaking!

But I can’t believe they killed Alfred off so casually tho😭

Omg I swear if they freaking show Dick having cheated on Babs I will be so freaking pissed omg, he better have not! Im hoping they had a more high school romance thing/grew up together then got together type of thing

And omg don’t apologize I LOVED IT and reading your asks!!! I feel ya too!

#batanon #titans #titans spoilers #Titans S3 #titans season 3 #Titans speculation #speculation #ask #Meredith gets an ask #Jason Todd #dick Grayson #Meredith thoughts

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katsukibby · 4 years

Text

flick

bakugou katsuki x reader (extraordinary you au)

summary: bakugou and midoriya are the main love interests for a romance manga and ochako is the main girl. (spoiler: she chooses deku) what happens when y/n, an extra, becomes self-aware that she’s nothing but a side character to help develop their relationships?”

!unedited!

*flick*

wait a minute. wasn’t i just talking to jirou? why am i in the cafeteria now?

“ah! y/n! youre here! ive been looking for you!”

“huh? jirou? what are you…weren’t we just in the classroom?” She looked at me as if I was crazy.

“what do you mean? its finally time for lunch! did you hit your head at training or something?”

“training? what? but- we were still in class just now.”

*flick*

i jerked back up as if i had just woken up. but i hadn’t. we haven’t even eaten yet. so.…why was the school day finished?

“y/n!! there you are! you seem to be harder to find than usual today!”

“jirou…did you hear that? and what about lunch?”

“lunch? its time to head back to the dorms. now that you mention it, i wonder what we’re having for dinner tonight!”

*flick*

“alright. l/n. get ready to spar with bakugou. i’m too tired to watch this so i’m gonna go ahead and nap. everyone else can judge today.”

“wait- aizawa-sensai!”

“tch. damn extra. hurry uP AND FIGHT.”

extra? me? wait a minute-

*flick*

“ochako-chan! are you alright?”

i didn’t mean to say that. why are we in the infirmary?

“huh? l/n-san? what am i doing here?”

“midoriya-kun carried you here after one of bakugou-kun’s explosions missed me and hit you instead!”

what? when did that happen?

*flick*

“it’s time to take your midterm. put your books away and take out a pencil and eraser.”

this shouldn’t be right. midterms shouldn’t start until three weeks! this must be some sort of prank. did i get hit by a quirk or something?

“woah! l/n! i haven’t seen your text book this beat up since middle school!”

“huh? jirou? but i just got this!”

“huh? are you trying to make me feel better by acting like you forgot what today is?”

i looked down at my book. she was right. it had tabs and- that’s my handwriting! but, i don’t remember writing any of this. how will i pass?

*flick*

what is that sound?

“alright. pencils down and pass up your papers.”

“wait a sec-”

kaminari took my paper before i could even look at it. did i even fill it out? why am i forgetting everything?

*flick*

“woah! l/n-chan got everything right!”

“it makes sense, she studied hard everyday until the midterm!”

what? what is going on? why can’t i remember anything that happened in between? and what is that noise?

i turned to jirou.

“hey, have i been acting weird lately?”

“huh? no, not really. but just the fact that you’re asking that question makes me wonder if something is wrong. what’re you thinking about?”

“it’s nothing really, i just can’t seem to remember certain things. for example, i don’t even remember taking the midterm!”

“eh? that’s probably because you sped through it since you knew all the answers. i wouldn’t worry too much.”

she grinned at me and turned away.

what am i going to do now?

*flick*

ah. it’s lunch again. i’m not hungry so i guess i’ll just go to the library instead.

the library was eerily empty for lunch time. that was the least of my concerns though. i had to figure out what was going on. i checked all the aisles to see if there was something that could tell me what was wrong. in the corner of my eye i saw a book that seemed to be wiggling out of place. i reached up and grabbed it. i opened the book to discover it was a manga. a romance manga? why do these characters seem so familiar? is that- ochako-chan? midoriya-kun? and bakugou-kun? why are they in this? i had so many questions. but most importantly-

what was i doing in this?

*flick*

i gasped. why was it my turn to lay down in the infirmary? and where did that book go? i tried to get up but i couldn’t move. no matter how hard i tried. i couldn’t even speak. what was going on now? i heard muffled voices.

“if you get close to bakugou-kun again i’ll kill you!”

“i can’t believe how shameless you are to use his money to even go to this school!”

“your quirk is so weak, there is no way you’ll be a hero!”

“i bet you just seduced him in order to get into class A!”

“why don’t you do us all a favor and leave bakugou-kun alone for once?”

i wasn’t sure who was talking but before i knew it i was standing up on my own.

“hey! leave ochako-chan alone!”

“heehee whatever you say!” the group of girls giggled and proceeded to shove ochako to the ground before locking us in. i looked at her to find her on the verge of tears.

“hey, ochako-chan it’s ok! i should be able to open the door for us!”

i was not at all confident that i could open this door.

however, i surprised us and opened it with ease.

“oh. uh. i didn’t know i could do that. um. well, i guess i’ll see you later? i kinda have to get to the library now!” i sprinted out and closed the door before she could say anything and closed the door behind me. i turned the corner to see midoriya-kun running while shouting ochako-chan’s name. “she’s in the infirmary!” i told him. he looked startled but proceeded to run towards the room anyways.

once i made it back to the library i began to search for the book again. i found it in the same spot and all the questions i had seemed to be answered. i- was in a manga? and i’m not even the main character? what is this? bakugou-kun and midoriya-kun are love rivals? i let out a deep sigh and shook my head. i can’t believe i’m just some extra that shows up for their convenience.

*flick*

i’ve gotten used to this by now. it’s as if there are two worlds within this one: the stage and the shadow. the stage is where all of the main story line occurs, but the shadow is where all of the time in between happens. there, other characters have no clue what is happening and forget everything that occurred when the next scene starts. so far, it seems like no one else has realized what kind of world we live in.

as i walked lost in thought, i bumped into bakugou.

“oof- sorry bakugou-kun! ah- it’s not like you’ll remember this anyways. you know- you’re actually kind of cute. too bad, you’re a main character and i’m just an extra, like you always say. i also feel kind of bad for you, you have second lead syndrome. oh well! it’s not like you get what i’m saying!”

“what the fu-”

i did this to him often. while reading the manga, i have to admit, i became quite a fan of his. all of the cringy flirting and cliche lines aside, he was quite the attractive character. he almost made me wish i was ochako.

*flick*

aww how nice! the author has gifted me with some free banana milk! but- why?

“hi l/n-chan!”

“ochako-chan! you’re here early!”

her stomach growled.

ah. that’s why. why couldn’t i have it just this once? don’t i deserve it for working so hard as a side character?

“you haven’t eaten yet? here take this!” i reluctantly gave it to her with a grimace and turned to see bakugou-kun approaching us.

“you. come with me.”

i’m so jealous of ochako. she gets to be crushed on by bakugou, while im stuck here trying to help her decide between which boy helps her more. i can’t believe she’s going to pick midoriya and not bakugou.

*flick*

i sighed as i was finally released from the stage. i stretched and looked at my classmates. i thought this would be the perfect opportunity for them to start flirting or something, but to my surprise bakugou was looking at me. i looked around and pointed at myself.

“me? not- not ochako-chan?” i stuttered in disbelief. she was already running away and towards midoriya who waved for her to come over.

“the fuck? no. i’m talking to you, you damn extra.”

“um...ok? what’s up?” i asked awkwardly.

why was he talking to me? this wasn’t supposed to happen. he should be teasing ochako by taking her (my) milk by now.

“i thought about what you said last time and it just doesn’t make sense.”

“huh? last time? what did i say?”

“man, you really are crazy. you know, you kept talking about how i’m a main character or something and that i wouldn’t remember what you said.”

my eyes widened. he wasn’t supposed to remember that. now what’s happening? my life is so strange these days. i seem like a broken record.

“um. you must be remembering wrong. i- i never said anything like that!” i laughed nervously. he could obviously tell i was lying.

“fine. don’t help me. i’ll just figure it out by myself. i can’t believe i tried asking for fucking help.” he whispered to himself.

“we live in a manga!” i blurted out suddenly. “you and midoriya-kun are the main characters and you both have a crush on ochako-chan!”

there was no way he would believe that.

“you- uh you must be thinking you’re going crazy right? you hear strange noises and you can’t remember certain events even though you were sure you were doing something before hand?”

“how...the fuck did you know?” he looked at me with shock. i sighed and grabbed his wrist.

“just follow me,” i took him to the library and shoved the manga in his hands. “read this. it’ll tell you everything you need to know. bye now!” i nudged him in the direction of the exit.

“wait, what the fuck is this?” he seemed so different from his typical bad, angry boy personality. he seemed even more attractive with this confused look on his face.

he read everything and reached the empty pages. “what is this?”

“oh, well the author hasn’t written those parts yet. that’s why everything looks like this.” for the first time, he was aware that some of the furniture in the room was floating. “it’s like this because we are in the shadow, not the stage.”

“the what?”

“basically the stage is where all of the main parts of the manga occur and the shadow is where we are now. everything we do here won’t be remembered by the other characters.” i explained nonchalantly. “so, how does it feel? to know you aren’t going to end up with ochako-chan?”

“honestly, i could care less. every time i was in the ‘shadow’ i seemed to feel as if i lost my purpose. at least i still have my quirk.”

“man, you really are different from the manga. you’re so calm right now.”

“hey! what the fuck does that mean?!”

“jeez, never mind then. come on, let’s go to class.”

“wait!” i looked back at him.

“what?”

“don’t you want to...i don’t know, change the story? isn’t worth a try? we’re both just supporting characters. what harm can we cause?”

“you don’t think i’ve tried? i did everything i could think of to try and change the story.”

“but what if we-”

*flick*

“bakugou-kun! i’ve been looking for you!” ochako approached him.

“you idiot. jeez don’t run around with your laces untied.” bakugou bent down to tie her shoes.

jeez. could the author get any more cheesy? this makes me want to throw up.

“i told you i would get you new shoes!” midoriya cut in. “i can’t stand watching you get bullied over something as small as this!”

“i’ll take care of her deku.” bakugou glared at him.

oh my god just speed up this scene already. what am i even here for?

“i’ll just go shopping with l/n-chan! she seems to have the best style in the class! besides, i saved up enough to buy a new pair!”

“you can count on me ochako-chan!”

*flick*

“i thought that scene would never end!” i spoke aloud. i glanced at bakugou to catch him staring at me. “what?” he just glared and walked away.

weird.

bakugou and i have been spending a lot of time together. we make fun of our classmates and call them out in their faces. it’s pretty fun being able to yell at mineta all we want for being such a perv. not to mention, bakugou practically beats him up every time he’s near us. bonding with bakugou has become my favorite past time and i’m beginning to wonder what i would do if he didn’t become self-aware. however, the only bad thing about this was that i was beginning to like him. not just as a character, but as a person. i was way past the fangirl stage since i actually get to talk to him now. the worst part is that he actually likes ochako. both on the stage and in the shadow. i’ve come to this conclusion since he won’t shut up about trying to change the story line. i’m not sure what to do since there’s no one else for me to talk to about all of this.

“you need to help me. i’m so tired of being an extra.”

“what do you mean? you literally get so many lines and! you’re one of the main love interests!”

“but i don’t want to do this anymore, knowing that i won’t even get the girl! we have to change this story!”

“too bad! how do you think i felt? watching you for so long, knowing that i wasn’t fated to end up with you!” i gasped. “wait- i- forget i said that!”

“what?”

“nothing! it’s nothing! i just-” i could feel my eyes swell with tears.

is this how ochako feels when the author makes her cry every two scenes?

“even a fool could tell how i feel about you.”

i looked up into his crimson eyes.

did he just-

“what? what do you mean?”

“you idiot. i like you too. why do you think i’ve been bugging you to try and change the story?”

“ i thought it was because you wanted to end up with ochako-chan instead,” i took a deep breath. “why didn’t you tell me sooner!”

“i thought you could tell! you always catch me staring at you after scenes so i thought you knew!” he was smiling. he’s never smiled like this at me before. it was...nice. comforting. warm.

“let’s change this story.”

*flick*

(a/n: this is my first fanfic! i know i could use improvement, but i just wanted to write it because i felt like it :) also, if it was a little confusing, the flicks are supposed to be the sound of the pages turning. hope you enjoyed the story <3)

#katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo imagine #bakugou imagine #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou #bakugo #katsuki x reader #bnha imagines #bnha headcanons #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki x you #mha headcanons #mha x reader

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lucidpantone · 3 years

Note

I know this is a controversial question so i would totally understand if you choose not want to answer, but im curious enough to ask anyway. Can you rank your fav remakes in order? Maybe add a comment about what you most appreciate about each remake (to soften the blow of any sensitive readers). Ofc if you couldnt connect with a remake you might wanna totally leave it out of the ranking...

Disclaimer this is gonna be long asf. So I like all the remakes so this is gonna be hard because of that. I don’t like one remake in its entirety I can find one season in each remake I wasn’t super stoked about and if you’re skamfr I can find 3 seasons hahah. So I am actually gonna do this by fav original 1-4 seasons and original seasons (OG excluded).

Season 1: Eva Skam Espana (Isa SkamNL is a super close 2nd)

I am gonna be frank my least fav season is Eva’s season in the original seasons. I don't dislike the plot its more like I just find the other plots of the other seasons way more interesting. However if I am gonna pick my fav adaptation its gonna be Eva from Espana. Mainly because some remakes take their jonas to far and they don’t know how to balance being inexperienced and immature with just being a plain dick (am looking at you wtfock and Austin). I hate when remakes take it to far and make the couple completely irredeemable. Also Jorge is just the best man. He tries so hard for Eva he tries to make things right and its just timing, immaturity on both parts. Also I love that above all Eva and Jorge are friends. Alongside with Lucas they are just like family and they can push aside their personal issues to be their for one another and I just think thats such a beautiful quality in Jorge and Eva.They both have good souls and I am happy they ended up together but I also feel like if they didn't they would be genuinely be happy for the other if they found someone else and fell in love and thats why I love them so much.

Season 2: Zoe Wtfock (but Nora Skam Espana is a close 2nd)

Here is what I love about Zoe’s season is that we see the pov of not just how Zoe was changing because she was opening herself to love but also how much Senne was changing as well and trying to address some issues he had been ignoring because he wanted to be a better man for Zoenne. For me Zoenne and Norandro are so amazing for this reason. We not only saw the girl processing how love was effecting her development but we got to experience Senne and Alejandro trying to become better men and really transitioning from boyhood to manhood via this self assessment period of themselves. I adore these two couples for this because I am so heavily invested in both the outcome of the girl and the guy. I guess with love stories there is that saying there is two sides to a story and then there is the truth and I feel like the noorhelm storyline has always been about hard truths. About young women challenging their perspectives on feminism, about young women acknowledging when they have been a victim of a crime/emotional abuse and not blaming themselves for it but knowing that they did nothing wrong and were undeserving of the act that took place. Also s2 plays on the concepts of manhood too. How approaching situations through the lens of rage and violence can develop into harmful and even predatory tendencies. Overall these two remakes stand out to me because they really speak to the lesson of how does one define themself in the whirlwind of love and what boundaries do you need to set so you don’t lose yourself in the process. Season 3: IT’S SO HARD PICKING JUST ONE!! (Am going to base this selection entirely off my fav Isak and their narrative arc versus the evak pairing because ultimately this season is about the Isak character not Isak & Even) Matteo Druck

Let me tell you no other Skam character has haunted me as much as Matteo. I think with Matteo his story was just so raw and unfiltered. Here was this boy he was so lonely, isolated, lost and really just didn’t think he was worthy of much. Matteo was approaching life expecting the bare minimum because he in many ways didn’t think he was deserving of much more. Matteo hid himself so deeply in what I refer to as the wall paper of life. Trying to blend in and stay invisible even tho this way of thinking was seriously effecting his mental health. I don't think he realized how far from shore he was before David slammed into his life and drag him out of the grip of the ocean’s current. Matteo was on the verge of drowning he just didn’t know it. And then came David and he just loved Matteo as is and I think a big reason for that is because no one had ever told either boy that they were perfect just as they were until they said it to one another. Both boys were going through life just accepting the bare minimum one because of societal barricades around gender and the other societal stigma concerning asking for help when suffering from mental health issues. In the end they found one another and said fuck it and fuck society as long as we have one another then we’re gonna get through this. However... having said that davenzi is not my fav evak pairing but Matteo is my fav standalone Isak. The prize for fav evak tho would go to Sobbe because I literally can’t picture two more in love people. Man the day Sobbe met I feel like inertia collapsed in on itself in their respective worlds. It really was the case that time stopped and that they were destined to find one another. They are so in love it just radiates off them. Also random note my fav Even is Joana. Hence why choosing an s3 is so hard because I like different components of s3 seasons.

Season 4: Sana Skam Italia

(this is a copy/paste my original why I love Italia s4 rant)

Say what you want about the casting(this is a fair argument) but I am really happy that SKAMIT gave us a love story centered around two muslim individuals and their differing approaches and interpretations of Islam. I think for me its that we are always trying to dilute Sana’s season with this western need to educate non-muslims and though I appreciate that I also want to see a love story that’s purely about the journey of young muslims and the issues they experience themselves and not via a western glazing. The thing that stood out for me in SKAMIT is how many different perspective of how Islam is practiced came to the forefront. Sana’s journey to understand and come to defend queerness. Muslim men (Sana’s brother) being offended because she assumed he was homophobic. Laui being in a healthy relationship as a muslim queer man. Malik openly talking about Islam and his separation from it but still a believer in a greater power(and not because he wants to drink and party). For me this was what the Sana season was suppose to be about putting the muslim experience front and center and unapologetically so.

Original Season: Nora Druck

I mean what a fantastic take on building new and improved squads with more diversity in race, sexual preferences and perspectives. I will say that I also do like the new squad from Skamfr. Its nice to see newgens that am truly excited about getting to know. Like I need to know everything about Ava pronto she is bae. I do have one random surprise about my next fav original season which for me would be Arthur for Skamfr. Honestly if we would have gutted the cheating plot we would have had a really interesting season about a young adult’s life being rocked by disability and trying to find themselves in this new landscape. Similar to Nora in Druck with MI and also the long term effects of experiencing violence in the household in Skamfr but yea so far Druck has been the only one to get a sound original season out and they should be commended for that.

#lucidpantone anons

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hxseok-honee · 5 years

Text

i found | part 29

a/n: o h b o y here we go- the BIG BOI CHAPTER! i’ve had the idea for this chapter since basically the beginning of the au, and after a long time planning and an even longer time writing and editing, she’s complete. a huge fucking thank you to my bby girl @deepseavibez (ALSO IT’S HER BIRTHDAY OMG MY BBY)- she’s the first to read any of my drafts and also be very honest and real with me about them, and im incredibly appreciative of her. she told me she needed at least 24 hours before she was allowed to speak to me again after she read this chapter bc she was just gonna end up yelling at me, which i love about her. i hope you enjoy it!! lmk what you think uwu~ [also i first had the idea for this chapter after listening to Violence by Tender! not on the playlist but a v good listen for this chapter if you’re into that]

previous | next

_______________________________

It’s been four weeks. Four weeks of whispering and pointing. Four weeks of uncertainty and confusion. Four weeks of being avoided by the one person in this school who had always sought him out first. He knows something is wrong- he knows it’s his fault. She told him that she doesn’t regret what happened between them, but everything she’s been doing is telling him that she does. Avoiding his gaze, being vague in her texts, barely speaking to him in class- it’s obvious that she lied to him when she told him everything was fine between them. It’s so obvious that he can’t tell what hurts more: the fact that she lied or the fact that she’s not even trying to hide it.

Yoongi’s barely been able to get out of bed in the morning these days, let alone sit through all his classes and see Y/n every day. He’s gotten so used to her warm presence that he’s almost unable to revert to his old self with her. He’s forgotten what it feels like to ignore her and only acknowledge her when he has to, and it kills him inside to know that she’s doing it without even hesitating.

And yet, he finds himself showing up to their shared classes every day hoping that maybe she’ll come around. Today is no different. Although she was acting the same in potions, he’s still holding onto the hope that she’ll have even the smallest of smiles on her face when she walks into transfiguration. So as he sits there, trying to prepare himself for what’s likely to be another failure, he finds himself wondering yet again what he could have done differently - wondering how things could have ended up like this. He’s so lost in his head that he almost doesn’t hear her reach her seat, the sound of her bag hitting the desk interrupting his internal despair.

Taking a quick glance at her and confirming that she’s, yet again, not going to acknowledge him, he sighs slightly and opens his textbook, wishing for what feels like the millionth time that things will get better soon. He mumbles a quiet greeting in her direction and waits until she’s hummed in response to start flipping his textbook open. He can hear people whispering behind them, and when he looks over his shoulder he finds that most of the people in the room are looking at him and Y/n. Even a month later, they’re the most popular topic of conversation.

Before long, McGonagall enters the room and silences the class, beginning her lesson for the day. They make it about halfway through the class before she gives them partner work, at which point Yoongi is groaning internally. Y/n’s managed to get through every set of partner work they’ve had without initiating any form of communication, only speaking when Yoongi directly asks her for help. Even now, she’s started working on the assignment without him, leaving him to stare glumly down at his textbook.

He finishes about half of the work before he gets to a question he can’t answer no matter how hard he searches through the chapter, so finally he swallows his pride and pokes her arm, frowning deeply when she flinches away from him. She doesn’t even look at him when she speaks, still staring down at her own textbook.

“What’s up?” Yoongi’s heart skips a beat at the sound of her voice, and he hates himself for it in that moment. Clearing his throat, he taps a finger on his textbook.

“I don’t understand number 12. Can you just show me where it’s explained in the book?” Keeping his eyes on the pages as she reaches over to flip through his book, he’s on the verge of sighing again when something catches his attention. There, peeking out just a tiny bit from under the sleeve of her sweater, is a mark. It’s almost impossible for him to see, but as she’s flipping pages her sleeve rises marginally, exposing her wrist to him. And the more he looks, the more he realizes it’s not just a mark- it’s a bruise.

His blood runs ice cold in his body as something else registers in his mind- he hadn’t just asked her about their relationship that day.

‘is anyone bothering you? there’s no one trying to mess with you, is there?’

Yoongi’s breath catches in his throat as he remembers their conversation. He had assumed she’d lied to him about regretting the night in the common room, but it was entirely possible she’d lied about something else. Dragging his eyes in her direction as if in slow motion, he takes in her appearance as she focuses on finding the passage in his book. He hasn’t looked at her properly in a long time, too busy trying to close himself off to her again, but now he does. What he sees has his fists clenching tightly in his lap, everything becoming so clear now.

Her skin is pale and her eyes are sunken in like she hasn’t slept in days. He can see a cut on the corner of her lip, still red as if it had happened that very day. It’s obvious she tried to cover it up before class, but the makeup is messy, as if applied with a shaky hand. Pulling his gaze down, he has to stop himself from reacting when he sees evidence of more bruising just under the collar of her shirt. As Yoongi stares at her, he wonders just what else she could be trying to hide under those long sleeves and that high collar, and his blood boils at the realization that she had probably flinched away from his touch earlier for a different reason than he had thought. His imagination is running so violently wild now that he can’t stop himself from calling out to her.

“You lied to me.” She freezes in her task, gaze finally lifting to meet his after so long. When she sees the anger swimming in his eyes, she swallows hard. Looking around and realizing that the same nosy people are still watching them as subtly as they can manage, she tries to deflect the conversation. Now isn’t the time to talk about this.

“Yoongi, let’s talk about this later, please-” Her words only incite his anger further, and she has to stop herself from jumping when he slams his hand down on the table, catching everyone’s attention.

“You told me everything was fine!” His voice cracks on the last word, his desperation finally showing as McGonagall starts to make her way over to them. Attempting to ease the situation, Y/n reaches out to grab Yoongi’s shoulder, but he backs away from her touch, choosing instead to reach out with his own hand and take hold of her wrist. Ignoring her protests, he grips her sleeve and pulls it up, exposing her arm to him.

He feels like his breath has left him entirely when he sees her skin, every inch of it covered in dark bruises. Handprints left by several people, scratches and cuts littering the surface of her arm from her wrist to her elbow- everything he had hoped was just his imagination is there, right in front of him. He barely has time to lock eyes with her, hers filled with frustration and his overflowing with disbelief, before she’s yanking her arm out of his grasp, standing out of her chair and successfully knocking it over in the process. He follows her lead, yelling after her as she turns on her heel and rushes for the door, ignoring McGonagall’s request for him to calm down.

“You can’t just keep ignoring me, Y/n!” Not even sparing McGonagall a second glance, he follows after Y/n, fighting the urge to yell at everyone as they start talking loudly now. McGonagall’s call follows him out into the corridor, but by that point he’s already locked onto Y/n’s retreating frame and he knows he won’t let this moment pass.

Catching up to her quickly, he reaches out and takes hold of her arm, almost giving in to the guilt that courses through him when she flinches at the pressure on her skin. Dragging her down the corridor and into an empty classroom, he releases her arm, the guilt so strong now it’s as if he were the one that had put those bruises on her body. Slamming the door shut behind him, he looks at her through eyes filled with pain, frustration, and - most notably - intense anger.

“Why did you lie to me, Y/n?” She’s turned away from him, and it’s so isolating that he just keeps talking, saying anything he can to get her to react to him. “Why didn’t you tell me that any of this was happening? You’ve never lied to me before, Y/n, so why now? Do you blame me for this?” It’s those words that trigger a response from her, so charged with emotion that Yoongi almost takes a step back when she turns to face him.

“Blame you? Yoongi, how could you think that I blame you for this?” She sighs angrily, running a hand through her hair, and Yoongi’s heart lurches when the bottom of her sweater rises just slightly and he sees more damaged skin there. He can feel the corners of his eyes prickling at the sight, the thought of what she’d been through running through his mind as he wonders where he’d been when this was all happening. Swallowing hard and blinking rapidly, he listens as she continues her rant.

“Yoongi, of course I don’t blame you for this. You didn’t cause this. I just didn’t want you to find out - is there something so wrong with that? Is there something wrong with me not wanting you to start even more fights? I’m fine, Yoongi-” All the self-control he had left in his body leaves him as he explodes.

“You’re not fine, Y/n! And it is my fault! I know that, you know that, everyone in this whole fucking school knows that! But you keep pushing me away- you won’t let me protect you! And for what? You want to stop me from starting fights, but I’ve just spent the last four weeks in a constant fight with myself, wondering what I did so wrong that you would push me away this much!” He’s breathing hard, so hard that he thinks he might actually pass out if he doesn’t calm down soon. But he can’t stop himself now- he needs to know everything now. She doesn’t step away from him as he approaches her, and he notes in the back of his mind that at least he isn’t scaring her. She’s a lot more resistant to his temper than anyone else he’s ever dealt with. Running his hands down the length of her arms as softly as he can, he keeps his hold on her as he addresses her, his voice low.

“Tell me who it was.” Her nostrils flare at his demand, and he knows he’s pushing her limits, but he has to know.

“No, Yoongi. I don’t want you fighting anyone-”

“Y/n, please-”

“I said no, Yoongi. I’m fine.” There’s something about hearing those two little words again, so obviously a lie. He’s so tired of hearing her push him away. Everything about the last month has put him on the edge of breaking down, and to have her do to him the very thing she always told him to never do - to have her push him aside like she couldn’t depend on him, like everything they’d been through had been for nothing - it pushes him over the edge.

He knows she feels it when her expression falls blank, her eyes staring up at him as if asking if he’s really about to go through with this. Still, he has to know what’s been done to her-

he knows he’s officially lost his mind and probably all of her trust, but he can’t let this go unhandled. So he pushes further, keeping a firm hold on her as his eyes stay locked on hers. And finally - at the reaction she gives, pushing against his grip almost violently - he knows he’s found it.

“Yoongi, don’t you dare-” He closes his eyes at her words, shutting her out as he locks onto the memory in the recesses of her mind. Fighting the urge to cry, he whispers out to her, broken and desperate.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.”

There’s too many. Too many instances when he should have been there and wasn’t. The first shove, the first grab, the first taunt. The Ravenclaw boy that pushed her aside as he passed her in the corridor. The group of Gryffindor girls that cornered her in the bathroom and clawed at her until all that was left was bloody skin and a crying girl. The Slytherins that hexed her in the courtyard, pulling her feet from under her and forcing her to float upside down in the air, exposing her underwear in front of a dozen people.

Every time, there was another there to save her. Despite her curses and attempts to stay strong, there was always another there to pick her up and hide her away. The Gryffindor hothead, the pair of Ravenclaws, her favorite Hufflepuffs. Her boys, always finding her before Yoongi ever could. Always there, wreaking havoc on those that dare to hurt their friend. At least she had them. But there, amongst all the moments, is a more recent one that floats in the forefront of her thoughts, almost overpowering in nature.

She’s walking down the corridor toward the library, quickly and almost fearfully as she checks over her shoulder constantly. She’s so busy glancing behind her that she misses what’s in front of her. Looking ahead of her and realizing too late that she’s being approached by two Slytherins, she swears under her breath and turns back, trying to get away. When she turns back, however, she sees two more Slytherins rounding the corner and heading right for her. Looking back and forth, she realizes she’d be alone in this even if there were 50 other people in the corridor with them - she can’t get out of this.

Before she can react, one of the Slytherins - the only girl - takes hold of the back of her head and yanks back sharply, eliciting the scream of pain she was looking for. Throwing Y/n against the wall, the other three hover over her as their smaller friend swings endlessly, connecting with Y/n’s body over and over again. But when Y/n manages to fight back, landing a particularly nasty hit on the girl’s nose, the three boys jump into action.

One of them raises his hand and brings it down across her face harshly as another pins her to the wall and starts sending hit after hit into her torso. Y/n feels something crack in her body, and she screams so loud that she thinks maybe a teacher will hear her, but the third boy is grabbing her by the back of the neck and throwing her forward, shoving her to the ground with much more force than needed. At this point, even a small poke would send her into a fetal position on the ground, but it’s not like they care. The girl grabs the back of her head again, forcing to look up at them.

“It’s not so easy now when this Prince isn’t here to protect you, is it?” Y/n’s breath comes out as a wheeze, prompting one of the boys to send another punch to the same spot on her ribs that she’s fairly certain has already snapped in half. She screams again, and, on the edge of unconsciousness, she hears someone who sounds oddly like Namjoon running down the corridor, yelling her name. Before slipping over the edge and blacking out, the girl whispers in her ear again, her words echoing throughout the memory violently.

“You should have been more careful.”

Pulling out of her mind, the first thing Yoongi notices is the overpowering guilt that’s filling him, almost as if all the emotion he once had is now draining out of his body and leaving him to deal with the consequences. Recognizing just how bad of a person he’s become in the last ten minutes, the second thing he notices is the feeling of hands on his chest, slamming down repeatedly as they push him away. Looking down and finding himself staring into Y/n’s eyes, his brain registers faintly that this is the first time she’s ever expressed herself violently- the first time she’s ever put her hands on someone. But he can’t bring himself to be upset by the fact that she’s hitting him over and over again; he’s too busy recognizing himself in the reflection in her eyes - eyes overflowing with tears, eyes that have never looked at him like he was an enemy until this very moment.

Allowing her to push him back, allowing her to keep pushing until he’s backed up completely against a wall, he lets her cry and push at his chest without even thinking of stopping her. He deserves this, he knows he does. He’s done the one thing she’s asked him to never do, so long ago when they weren’t even friends yet. He knows that, and he knows there’s nothing he can do to stop this. He’ll just stand here and accept the pain that follows because he knows he deserves it. She’s been chanting something through her tears this whole time, the words finally registering properly in his ears.

“I hate you- I hate you- I hate you-” Each one comes with another blow to his chest, her forehead finally coming to rest on his shoulder as she sobs, her fists weakening against his form as she tires herself out. Once he knows she’s done, he brings his arms up slowly, desperate to hold her but terrified that she wants nothing to do with him anymore. Wrapping her in his hold, he chokes back a sob of his own when she clings to him and brings him close to her. Keeping her in his arms, he slides his back down the wall until they’re sitting together on the floor, his arms around her as she sits between his legs.

Leaning his head on her shoulder, he whispers apologies to her repeatedly, repenting for what he’s done. He buries his face in the crook of her neck as the tears that have been hovering at the corners of his eyes finally fall, the dam breaking as he begs her to forgive him. They sit there together, crying as they both understand what’s happened to them the last four weeks- crying as they realize how much they need each other, how impossible it’s become for them to push the other away after all this time.

Once they’re both done crying, Yoongi lifts his head and looks down at her through red-rimmed eyes, brushing her hair out of her face and wiping the tears from her eyes as she does the same for him. He’s still whispering apologies to her, and she’s just nodding along, having already forgiven him without even realizing it. But he’s not done apologizing, and he’s not sure he ever will be.

“You can keep hating me if you want. I deserve it. I know I do.” He says it through a raspy voice, having abandoned any form of embarrassment left in his body. He just needs her to know how he feels, even if it’s the last time she talks to him. He has no idea that she’s just watching him now, running her fingers softly across his cheeks as tears continue to slip from his eyes.

Leaning into her touch, he doesn’t notice how close he’s getting until his forehead is pressed against hers and their noses are brushing. His breath gets caught in his throat, a feeling he’s well-accustomed to by now, but this time he welcomes it. He won’t let her get away from him this time. He won’t let her go another day not knowing how he feels.

So when he tucks a hand behind her neck this time, he knows there’s nothing left for him to do. Leaning in closer and pausing to give her time to push him away, he waits until he feels her grip on the front of his shirt tighten before he’s pressing his lips to hers.

The feeling that spreads through his chest is so sudden and violent that he feels like he might need to pull away, but he knows he wouldn’t be able to do it even if he wanted to. All he can do is press his mouth even closer to hers, hugging her to him while she runs her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. He knows he hasn’t been able to really tell her how he feels about her, so he pours everything into the kiss, refusing to break it even when his lungs start yelling at him. She’s the first to pull away, finally overpowered by the need to breathe, but even then it’s only for a second before she’s leaning into him again, as desperate as he is to show him everything she feels for him.

Eventually they break the kiss, breathing heavily as they stare at each other, both uncertain as to what happens next. They sit there for a few minutes, just taking each other in. Yoongi runs his fingers through Y/n’s hair and she plays with the hem of his shirt. He leans into her and presses his lips to hers once more before pulling away and moving his mouth to her ear, whispering softly to her as her face warms, her hands running up the length of his arms and clinging to his shoulders and he holds her close.

“You’re mine now, Y/n - so get ready to deal with me forever, because I’m never letting you go.”

#bts texts #bts au #bts smau #bts social media au #bts hogwarts au #min yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi texts

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minecraftoworymode · 4 years

Text

picked a whole bouquet of whoopsie-daisies the other day reading some Very badfeel content so to cheer myself up here’s some super self-indulgent ramblings about romeo recovery post-s2

“YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY BEHIND” or how romeo learned to stop worrying and indulge in the ““feminine”“ shit in life

when romeo transitioned he scrubbed everything that could be potentially viewed as feminine from his appearance and behaviour. while he did everything he could about the former (hairstyle, clothing, body language, voice), it didn’t feel like enough bc he couldn’t change some things that ppl used to be jerks- his frame (short and lithe), his family, his being trans- so he made up for it by trying to “act” like a “real man”. this unfortunately meant he was super vulnerable to manipulative alt-right indoctrination tactics (”we will validate you as a man as long as you endorse our assholery and share our shitty beliefs about what it means to be a man”) and he was on the verge of getting sucked into gamergate ideology when [THIS LORE IS ANOTHER POST] and hey, now the world is minecraft. u dont gotta perform gender roles for villagers they dont care. xara will not only actually eat ur liver for pulling The Bullshit but when you are kind she smiles, so bright and warm, and it is very very nice so maybe you should keep on doing that. n fred? fred is chill with their Everything in a way uve only ever Dreamed of. romeo marinates in this sauce for a couple centuries and comes the closest to being comfortable in his own skin he’s ever been.

however,

after the Incident he slam-dunked himself back into the hypermasculinity juice bc it was a mindset “safe” from feeling pain, whether his or others’. n since the worlds the admins created dont have the same ideas of gender as the world they came from, once he’s been dethroned romeo has a particularly hard time adjusting wrt That on top of all the other 2750347502730 issues he has to face

anyway flash forward a couple months of being incredibly volatile bc he now has to confront all the terrible things he did and how Dare u make him do that and maybe if hes nasty enough he can provoke someone into killing him and saving him from having to unpack All Of That- (note from @simple-mooshroom-herder: Xara and Jesse at least grasp that Romeo will probably burn himself out on this bullshit eventually and the best thing to do is interact with him with a certain level of healthy detachment. Eventually he'll see that theres no "getting out of this" and he'll start to do the Work but until then its very frustrating to see that tactic take him nowhere.)

- one day petra notices how he’s constantly staring at all the ppl wearing cute dresses in beacontown and at first she thinks he's being creepy but then realizes that he's not being creepy and actually she knows exactly how he feels bc she also used to look at ppl wearing clothes super not suited for combat like that, like she wished she could wear them too, like if she just didnt have to keep up this image of the Warrior who is Not Soft Ever-

n ok. listen. these worlds have been specifically engineered to be better and kinder than the one the admins came from, and when people mess up- even REALLY mess up- people are generally not only willing to forgive you but support you as you try and get better. it’s instinctual for communities to respond to misdeeds with rehabilitation and reconciliation, rather than retaliation and renunciation (tho its not an overnight thing and it generally takes 1-3 people to spearhead the process, esp if the actions have affected a large group of people). like. ivor created something that almost destroyed the entire world, not just beacontown, yet by the end of season one he’s grown to be a part of the team- n its not just jesse & co being forgiving here, bc when ivor made his s1 build with 3 lava source blocks people objected to it, but by s2 he not only has lava in his build but a giant lake of it. (im assuming the fences around said lake are coming eventually, bc safety is still important, but the implications im choosing to take from this are a) despite almost ending the world people let him into their lives anyway and b) the community not only grew to accept but encourage his self-expression.)

BUT ANYWAY before i go off on that even more one day petra and romeo basically put on an impromptu fashion show in jesse’s house (bc their house is huge and, kind of perfect for a fashion show, and also right next to the order hall’s armory whence they stole a bunch of fancy swords to match the outfits) n theyre having a blast until the hero in residence , returns to their residence (and with COMPANY) n romeo is absolutely Mortified- caught red-handed showing feelings of an almost human nature, oh my god, this will NOT do- n this whole grand soliluquy of shame and excuses and apologies grabs the steering wheel of his tongue but he cant even spit a single syllable out bc jesse and lukas almost immediately dip leaving romeo panicking for a second before they come back with their inventories FULL of cute outfits, including a billion skirts and dresses, some of them are even enchanted so theyre like. super shiny or constantly flowing or things like that.

this actually ends up spiralling into a town-wide... not quite fashion show bc there's no runway or anything, everyone just shows up in their cutest/coolest outfits .. fashion convention?? Anyway several people come up to him and compliment him on his outfit casually before continuing along, not recognizing him not only bc of how hes done his hair and makeup n what hes wearing but he just seems... so happy (he might be wearing something on his head? like a headpiece or hat or something? but also maybe not hmm)- whoever this is, he's not hunched over like he's got several centuries' worth of sins crawling on his back he’s not trying to shrink and make small a human-shaped apology for the simple fact of his existence not dragging his feet like hes ready for, dreading, a hundred mile trek through the desert repenting hes just. hes literally just Vibing

anyway he's mostly been silent or just providing very quiet "thank you"s but when it turns out that some people showed up ready to play music and there's a song that he knows he literally cant help but start jamming out its the GOod Stim everyones a-dancing and a-jiving and some people start to sing and so of course he does too (the healing power of dancing and singing in cute outfits.... unfathomable) but. ppl recognize his voice

and after a few seconds he notices how quiet it's gotten all of a sudden n everyones looking at him like "oh shit thats the admin" and honestly his heart breaks. visibly

but

then someone starts singing, so quiet it takes a moment for him to hear over the sound of an encroaching panic attack (oh god he has airpods in), but when he looks over theyre smiling - theyre smiling at hiM???? AND IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK MEAN??- and doing this very simple step, that he catches onto just as easily as he matches their singing (its a fairly common little tune n dance)

theyre like standing like a good few meters away but as they take turns with lines in the song they slowly inch closer

and he thinks hes starting to recognize the dance that the steps theyre doing is from but at the part in the song thats coming up ur supposed to allemande left and even tho theyre like, less than a meter away now literally no one has really wanted to get close to him, let alone actually touch him, so hes totally expecting them to be like 'psych' and humiliate him in front of the entire crowd-

BUT THEN THEY ACTUALLY GO FOR IT???

he completes the step without even thinking about it n continues onto the next in this state of dull bewilderment where there is but one braincell active in his head and it is just going, in a very tiny voice, "danser?"

- when they linked arms the person briefly seemed surprised that he didn't like, chew their arm off or anything (he had. kind of snapped at people a few times during the past few weeks), but then their shock turned into a wide smile and they sort of- nodded? at someone over his shoulder like 'come and join us, it doesn't look like he's going to kill me after all you guys can put the eulogy writing on hold'

what rly makes his heart do the confused and hopeful conga is that this isnt even anyone romeo knows, its a total stranger. or- like- he saw them while he was pretending to be jesse he just didnt care to get to know them beyond ‘name and gimmick’- its not even someone who has any reason to think he'd be cool to befriend its literally jsut someone taking a chance on him (tkae a chance take a chance take a chance take a cha)

afterwards hes like "i should thank jesse for putting you up to that, it was fun" and theyre like "what? jesse didn't "put me up to" anything, dude, you just looked super choked. * something something surfer lingo who would i be if i just left someone to feel bad when they could be having fun dancing you know?*"

he H

#ng+#msg #i said this was super self-indulgent and i was not lying #i call ng+ my mcsm project and thats literal

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yumenokuzu · 4 years

Text

this is a vent post so keep scrolling if you dont want to read me complaining...

i hate coming "home" for the holidays. im so uncomfortable being under the same roof as my mom that i can't even stay in the room i grew up in anymore. i can't see the cats that i raised from kittens. nothing is comforting to me anymore when i come home, it's all just a big reminder of my trauma and why i moved out of the state in the first place. i wish i could enjoy my winter break and relax, but instead im just constantly on the verge of tears. i dont even know what i could have done differently growing up so that things wouldn't end up this way... it's even more frustrating to know it's because of decisions other people made, decisions they knew that would hurt me, that have landed me in this position. i have no control over it, the only control i have is that i can choose not to go to that house anymore. but it also hurts knowing i probably never will again.

it's also frustrating to know that the rest of the family knows that im in pain, that im hurt, and they ignore it for the sake of having a nice family gathering. im supposed to "suck it up" so that everyone else can be happy and have a nice time. doesnt matter if my despair is churning in my stomach, i still have to smile for group pictures and contribute to conversations, even when i want to scream. they all think im unreasonable for not talking to my mom anymore and for not staying at her house. they talk about it as if im the one that's in the wrong, like im the one to blame. it hurts to know they think so little of me, enough to think i would cause family drama for fun. i wish i could let them tap into my memories and experience all the times my mom screamed at me, hit me, blamed me for everything that went wrong. how she pitted my sister against me, who still acts like she hates me to this day.

i dont know how much harder i can try to show my family that i just want to be happy and to surround myself with people who treat me with respect and care. is that really selfish of me, after years of emotional abuse? is it crazy that i want to value my own well-being over a toxic mother-daughter relationship? i just dont want to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. i dont want her behaviors to influence me anymore, i dont want to be like her. it's just hard knowing that i have to be somewhat alone in my decision, because my family cares more about keeping up appearances than they do about my mental health.

maybe ill spend next christmas by myself

#personal #venting

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lovenotesuggestions · 5 years

Note

Im in not such a great place right now. My therapist recently told me I've improved a ton since our first appointment together and she basically implied she doesn't think I need therapy anymore and I feel really bad because for a few months I've been feeling like I'm on the verge of relapse and when school starts the pressure is gonna tip me over the edge. But now I feel guilty for feeling that way because she says I'm better. I know it doesn't make sense but idk what to do about it - Q (1/?)

(part 2) Also my dysphoria which mostly subsided during the school year because I've secretly socially transitioned at school is coming back with a vengeance. One of my best friends got a girlfriend but I'm in love with her and even though it's really unfair of me to feel this way because I've never told her I feel really unwanted because of that. - Q (2/?)

(part 3) I'm really lonely and I have friends but what I want is a deep bond, someone who'll cuddle with me and tell me they love me and will maybe let me take them out to dinner sometimes but it hurts to know that I'll never have that because no one wants a nonpassing, unnattractive trans guy. All I want is to feel wanted and loved by someone and like I'm not destined to be alone. I feel so dirty and unworthy. I don't even feel human. Do you have any advice? (Sorry for multiple asks) -Q

You don’t have to apologise for sending multiple asks dear

Just because you might be doing better than you’ve been doing before, that doesn’t mean you no longer have a right to feel bad or have bad mental health days. I’ve made a lot of progress with my therapist and have way less frequent appointments now, but I’m still in therapy and still have bad days, and that’s okay. Recovery and learning to cope with mental illness isn’t a linear process, and sometimes we slip backwards a little, but as long as the trend in your wellbeing is going upwards overall, then that’s what’s important. Backslides, relapses, and bad days still happen, and that doesn’t destroy the progress you’ve made.

Especially if you know you have something coming up soon like going back to school that you know will increase the pressure on you and could cause a backslide, then it’s important to be aware that it’s okay to find that difficult to cope with, and to need additional support. It doesn’t erase your progress, or mean you’re a burden. Difficult circumstances, additional stress, and potential triggers can all have effects on your mental health, and that’s not your fault.

You don’t have to feel guilty for still needing help, and for still having symptoms and bad days even though you’re doing better, and the feelings you’ve mentioned are something I’d strongly advise you to speak to your therapist about. Whatever is making you feel guilty for still not being at 100% is something that it would probably be helpful for you to work through, and she can also help you with these feelings of being worried about relapse, and some coping mechanisms to deal with dysphoria whilst you’re off school for the summer, and any problems that might arise when you go back, to help prepare yourself and prevent these circumstances from damaging your progress too much. It’s important to be as open and honest as possible in therapy, so again if you haven’t mentioned these fears of relapse or what’s going to happen when you go back to school, it’s important to do that. She can only help you with what she knows about.

It’s also not unfair of you to have feelings for someone, or to feel jealous that they’re in a relationship with someone else, even if you never told them. You can’t help who you have feelings for, and it’s completely normal and natural to feel a little hurt or jealous or unwanted if the person you like chooses someone else. What matters is the way that you act, because that’s what you do have control over, and as long as you’re not behaving in an unfair way because of those feelings, then it’s okay to have feelings.

This girl you liked not choosing you doesn’t make you unlovable or unwanted - just because she might not have felt that way about you doesn’t mean nobody does or nobody will. You’re still in school so I’m guessing you’re a teenager - that means you have so much time ahead of you to find someone you click with; who loves you for who you are, and who you feel the same way about. It’s not a race, and your peers getting in relationships before you doesn’t reflect on you at all. You’re a whole, lovable person regardless of your relationship status - the fact you’re not in a relationship is just a matter of bad luck in not meeting someone who’s right for you.

Also, being trans and non-passing absolutely does not doom you to being alone, or make you unlovable! The love of my life is a trans man, and we got together before he started his medical transition, and before he’d even finished socially transitioning. We were together for a year and a half before he even started T, and him not ‘passing’ and him being trans didn’t make me see him as any less of a man, and didn’t affect my attraction to him at all. If anything, I’m more attracted to him because of his trans identity.

I’m trans too, and passing isn’t even a possibility for me because I’m non-binary and there’s no way to ‘pass’ as something society would never assume you to be. But my partner still loves me for who I am, accepts my gender completely, and finds me attractive regardless of my gender presentation.

I know so many trans people in relationships with both cis people or other trans people who love their trans partner for exactly who they are, who see them as their gender unconditionally, and whose view of them isn’t affected in the slightest by how well they ‘pass’. You are not unlovable, or doomed to be alone forever, because you’re trans - I promise. There are always assholes out there, or people who don’t understand, but there are also people who see you for who you are, and will love you for being that person.

If you’re feeling starved for affection, it might be worth in the short-term being a bit more open and affectionate with your friends if you’re comfortable with it. Platonic affection should be way more normalised than it is, and it’s totally okay to cuddle with friends and be physically affectionate with them if everyone’s comfortable with it, and be open about how much you care about them. I tell friends that I love them in a platonic way all the time, and some people find that having that kind of platonic affection can take the edge off that feeling of being deprived of that affection from being single.

I hope that helps, and I wish you all the best 💖

#advice #negative /#rant #transphobia /#dysphoria /#mental illness /#not a suggestion #i love queue #q anon #long post #Anonymous #answered

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blackaquokat · 5 years

Note

92 and 95 Acting Attorney I could use some good fluff while writing this angst heavy part of a story

Well, I was looking for an excuse to

work on my AU where Actor!Mark ends up with the DA instead of Celine, so THANK

YOU, you beautiful beta, you! This could be considered an alternate universe to

my Acting Attorney origin story “May You Always be Satisfied” where things would go

AU mid-chapter 2. Sometime in the future this may turn into a longer work, or

just a series of one-shots, but not now.

92. “You

make me happy.”

95. “Come

cuddle.”

Oo00oO

It takes Mark almost three months to

officially grieve his parents and cope with being the sudden heir to a big,

lonely house.

That is also around the time he finally

decides to officially put to the test Damien’s “theory.”

“I’m not in love with them! And, well, they are definitely not interest in…me.”

Damien’s tone made his implication

blatantly clear.

True, it wasn’t exactly the best

conversation to have at his parent’s funeral, but…Mark was glad to know, even then.

It gave more context for why his

dearest friend had seemed so uneasy around Celine when she first arrived.

But could that really mean that they…?

Could they really see him as…?

But he’s getting ahead of himself. Figuring

out once and for all whether his feelings are requited or not is a task he’s

set for himself tonight.

His friend is hosting a dinner, which

isn’t a new development, true. They are the only member of their trio that can

cook and their home is within driving distance of both Damien’s dorm at

University and Mark’s manor.

The wild card tonight will be Celine,

who also has been invited.

This is going to be

interesting, Mark thinks with a grin as he chooses one of his more dapper

outfits for the occasion.

He won’t lie and say he’s never dressed to impress his

favorite aspiring law student. He is fully aware that a fancy ensemble would

never attract their attention, not really, so his efforts in the past were more

to hear their inevitable snarky but kind compliments on his color choices.

Tonight, however, he’s pulling out all the stops.

After all, they have mentioned that red is his best color on

more than one occasion.

Oo00oO

“Damien has told me that you’re studying to be a lawyer?”

Mark watches his friend swallow a bite of chicken before

answering Celine’s question. “That is my goal, yes.”

“Do you plan to open your own practice when you pass the bar

exam?”

Their fingers tap against the table. One beat. Two. Three.

“That’s my back up plan. I’m hoping to become District

Attorney one day.”

He can see the tense anticipation in their shoulders. His

friend’s career aspirations always elicit rather polarizing reactions from

others. Those reactions tend to be negative more than half the time.

Celine is better than that, but his friend has no reason to

know this.

“That is a very admirable goal,” Celine commends with her

lovely smile. Her hand reaches over to pat her brother’s hand. “You two would

be quite the team on the political scene.”

“That is my hope!” Damien grins at the law student, and they

return the gesture.

Mark still sees a sad kind of shyness in their expression,

despite Celine’s positive response. When they meet his questioning gaze, they

force a reassuring smile.

“What about you, Celine? What do you see yourself doing?”

And so the conversation goes back and forth for another

hour, give or take, and Mark can’t help but notice the melancholy tainting the

law student’s behavior.

The gathering is nearing its end when he catches the way

their eyes flit away when Celine grabs his hand with a laugh after he cracks a

joke.

He thinks about what Damien said for about the millionth

time and nearly swears out loud as the weight of the confirmation hits him like

a baseball bat.

They spare another look at Celine before dropping their eyes

to their food, only half-eaten.

Well, shit. Mark needs to clear up a few things.

When Damien and Celine announce their departure for the

evening, Mark offers to stay and help the law student with the cleanup.

As he escorts the siblings to the entrance, well, he does

his best to ignore Celine’s intrigued gaze and Damien’s delighted smile.

Oo00oO

This is not Mark’s first time doing dishes with his friend,

with them cleaning and him drying. This is, however, the first time that the

pair of them have done this with such an unhappy…tension between them.

Mark is on the verge of saying something (he’s not sure what, exactly, but it was on the tip of

his tongue), when the law student says, “Celine seems nice.”

They hand him a soaking plate. He doesn’t take it immediately,

his mind trying to catch up with their sudden observation. He clears his throat

after another beat and takes the dish from their hands. “What brought that on?”

he asks as he dries the plate.

They shrug. “You’ve mentioned her once or twice in the past,

but now that I’ve met her…well, she seems great.” They still haven’t made eye

contact with him, instead reaching for a stained glass to scrub. “She seems like

she’d be good for you.”

Mark’s brow lifts. They sound as if they watched that ship sail into the distance.

He reaches out and touches their forearm.

They stop scrubbing.

Wordlessly, he hands them another dishtowel. Despite their

obvious confusion, they accept the item and dry off their hands.

He hadn’t quite expected to have this conversation like

this, but as long as the two of them are alone and the subject is here…

First things first:

“That’s nice that you think that, but, I’m not interested in

Celine like that.” When their expression doesn’t change, he admits, “At one

point, yeah, I thought she and I would end up together, but…in all honesty, I

haven’t felt like that for a while now.”

Their mouth twists as they lean against the sink, arms

folding over one another. Always on the defensive when it comes to matters of

the heart. “You sure about that? You looked pretty happy when she first arrived.”

Okay. It’s now or

never.

Mark takes a step closer to them, and, when they don’t step

away, reaches out his hands and lets them drift down the law student’s folded

arms before stopping at their elbows.

“You make me

happy.”

Straightforward, to the point, there is no possible way they

can misinterpret this moment.

Again, he hadn’t quite planned making any

confessions tonight, but any time he spends with the law student leaves him

more honest and vulnerable than he ever lets himself be around anyone else.

They stare at him with those wide, century-old eyes and,

before he can second-guess himself, Mark kisses them.

He fully intended to pull back right away, give them time to

acclimate to the moment, but suddenly their hands go for the back of his neck

and they respond.

Holy shit.

Oo00oO

They end up snuggling on the couch, sometime later. He can’t

remember exactly how they ended up here, them lying half on his body and half

on the couch, his fingers tangling and untangling their curls, their thumb

stroking his side.

When he asks, the law student says he just asked for them to,

“Come cuddle,” like he was half-drunk.

Which, considering the high he’s riding right now, is not an

untrue comparison.

“So what happens now?” they ask. They sound oddly dream-like

too.

He hopes they aren’t trying to talk themselves out of

believing that this is actually happening, because he’s still fighting the idea

that he’s going to wake up any moment too.

“Well…” he starts. “I guess I could pick you up before your

classes tomorrow and we could go to Amy’s Planet for some coffee?”

The possibility of a more thorough “talk” over coffee is

heavily implied, but he’s hopeful that the most the talk will entail is

groundwork and possible boundaries for whatever this is turning out to be.

This is one area of his life that he wants no

miscommunications, and he’s sure they feel the same in that regard.

He can feel them smile against his chest. “Sounds perfect.”

Oo00oO

Angst/Fluff

Prompt List: Send me a number and a pairing!

@starcrossedforever87 , @dontworryaboutanything , @falseroar , @intemperantiae , @ren-mon , @memetoyoko , @soul-wolf , @marki-dumb , @withjust-a-bite , @raimeyl , @beereblogsstuff , @silver-owl413 , @sassy-in-glasses , @chelseareferenced , @sketchy-scribs-n-doods , @axolittle-boi , @im-also-dead-inside , @timelords13 , @ur-fairy-god-dragon , @conceitedink , @unknown-maned-wolf , @ohnoimshook , @mayazen , @skyewardlight , @gabs-ink , @purple-anxiety-blog

#kat writes #wkm #who killed markiplier #acting attorney #actor!mark #actor mark #y/n district attorney #married au

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cclaudias · 6 years

Text

desi adam hcs

his name’s adam because he’s an nri(non residential indian) and all nris are big white weebs, so his parents thought it would be “good for him“ if he had a white name that whites could pronounce.

he’s bengali but he doesnt know bengali at all. the only word he knows is mach, which means fish, and its hindi word is machli so...

also, you’re literally not bengali unless you can recognize the word fish in at least 20 different languages.

adam’s watched every single khan movie from the 2000s, like every other indian kid and when his 15 yo cringy romcom loving ass watched dilwale dulhania le jayenge he cried and obviously knew every song by heart.

adam in class, singing softly: ~Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam || Pyaar hota hai deewana sanam || Ab yaha se kaha jaye, hum || Teri bahon mein mar jaye hum~

shiro, who has a huge crush on adam and just needs an excuse to talk to him: that sounds nice. you have a really nice voice.

adam, blushing:

shiro, also blushing:

shiro, trying to make his pining ass less obvious: btw, what does it mean?

adam:

shiro:

adam: haha it’s in punjabi. i don’t know.

its in basic elementary hindi btw and its one of the sappiest most romantic songs ever.

when he first takes shiro and keith to india the first time its wild (its also their last time, Shiro's to terrified to go there again).

on their first day, everyone adam knew in india was there to greet them. his extended family, his relatives, his neighbors, his long lost family members. their house was so full people barely had place to move.

it didnt help that shiro was famous. he was the face of the garrison and all the children knew him. he had children attached to his arms for days. the smallest of them all, a 1 yo named aliya, gets oddly attached to keith. the baby’s adorable, but keith doesn’t know what to do with it.

aliya: *comes and stands in front of keith*

keith: *awkwardly smiles at her*

aliya: *bursts out crying and runs away*

keith: ????

aliya: *comes up to keith and stands in front of him again*

adam: i think she wants to to carry her.

keith, scrunching his face up in confusion: but why is she crying?

adam: you smiled at her.

keith: so?

adam, not having the heart to tell keith his forced smile looks hideous: maybe try smiling at her more - naturally.

keith: what do you mean?

adam: i mean stop acting so fucking emo all the time, your act’s frightening a baby.

keith, deadpanning with narrowed eyes: what act?

he eventually gives up and picks her up. she’s quiet at first but then she slaps him. he stares at her with his eyes wide open and she giggles and slaps him again.

keith: adam, she’s hitting me!

adam: i told you to smile at her properly, stop glaring at her.

keith, whining: but she’s laughing!

keith turns back to her and glares at her. she stares back at him, her thumb in her mouth. when keith opens his mouth to speak, she pulls her thumb out of her mouth stabs her drool-covered thumb in his eyes.

keith, dropping her immediately, with tears in his eyes: THIS IS WHY I DON’T LIKE BABIES!

adam watched keith avoid each of his cousins narrowly and decides that since this kid's his now, he'll have to face this family one day or another.

adam: keith, will you come with me for a minute? I need to talk to you about something.

keith and his naive non-indian ass, thinking: oh thank god he's getting me out of his family mess.

adam, leading keith to a room full of indian adults ready to smooch and hug him: oh hey guys, this is shiro's little brother keith.

every single auntie in the room, rushing to keith to pull his cheeks, smooch him and laugh: he’s so cute! omg his cheeks are so chubby!!! oof you’re so fair!! my god this boy’s so shy!

keith's never followed adam anywhere since.

shiro: keith, they were just being nice.

keith, on the verge of crying. again.: one of them slapped my BUTT shiro!

when they’ve settled in a few days later and met every single human being in kolkata they need to, adam takes shiro out to the marketplace. he’s not going to go to the mall and sacrifice his bengali pride even for his bf, so now their just walking along a really crowded street with millions of stalls put up all around them.

adam’s here to buy apples and chikoos but he wants to treat shiro to things he’s been longing to eat since his last visit to india.

they first drink daab (coconut water) and then then adam drags shiro to the sweets shop.

adam: this is where you’ll get the best things you’ll ever eat. we’re eating jalebis first because the rasgullas are sweet and it’ll lessen the jalebi’s sweetness.

shiro, surprised to see his bf so excited about sweets: i thought you didnt like sweet food.

adam: these are JALEBIS, takashi!!

when shiro bit into the jalebi, he knew why his bf loved it so much.

on their way out, shiro asks adam if they can have one of the food stuffs being sold at the stalls.

shiro: adam, we didnt to any food stall. they're literally the most populated stalls here.

adam, following his gaze to find a pani puri stall: takashi. babe. those are foods that can only be digested by indian stomachs.

shiro, completely confused, but now more curious: i wanna try some.

adam: im telling you. its a bad idea.

shiro, rolling his eyes: sure, sure. i think my stomach can handle this.

adam: takashi. remember when we were taught about avoiding street vendors in second grade.

shiro:

adam: it was made specifically for these.

shiro finally manages to drag adam to the stall.

adam: are you sure you want this?

shiro: why are you being so dramatic about this?! Yes.

adam to the vendor: bhaiya doh plate golgappe dena. (he asked for two plates of pani puri)

adam eats only one, but they’re fucking delicious and he’s never had them before so shiro ends up eating six. he keeps trying to feed adam who just shakes his head.

when they’re sitting in the auto rickshaw, shiro asks adam why he was so insistent on not eating those. adam just leans back and lays his head on shiro’s shoulder

adam: you’ll see.

and shiro did.

he had diarrhea for three nights.

shiro, just coming from the washroom and realizing he needs to go back in: why is it only at nights, though???!

adam, shaking his head: you’re in india, takashi.

when they’re in the airport (shiro: finally 😩), keith’s jumping around because he really needs to pee.

adam: can’t you hold it till the flight?

keith: i’ve been holding it the whole way!! i can’t!

adam, sighing: fine. the washroom’s that way.

keith comes back, more still than he should be after relieving himself, his eyes a bit wide.

keith:

shiro: what’s wrong? are you okay?

keith: the washroom...

adam, shaking his head: be grateful you’re at the airport. at least the washroom’s decent.

both shiro and keith looking at adam:

adam: what?! i told you to hold it till the flight.

shiro: what’s wrong with the washroom?

keith: it’s... not. very sanitary.

adam: *snorts on the water he just drank*

shiro and adam’s favorite date nights are at home (and its not because of adam’s stingy indian ass). they both make one indian and one japanese dish and adam loves this because it’s domestic and economical (he can’t help it. he’s indian. stinginess runs in his blood. its painful to use a dollor he knows may save him someday.) (he also knows there’s going to be no such day but its always good to stay safe).

on some nights when they’re feeling particularly romantic, adam will play some romantic hindi song and they’ll dance to it. now that shiro understands hindi, he’s almost spooked at how romantic these songs are.

they’re dancing to tum se hi one night and shiro has his arms wrapped around adam, whose hands are on shiro’s shoulder. adam then leans against shiro and rests his head on shiro’s shoulder, in response to which the other man presses a kiss against adam’s temple.

moments like these work as a stark reminder for adam. its in these moments knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with shiro. waking up for work with him in the mornings and spending the weekends watching crappy romcoms and slow dancing would just be a part of his everyday routine and there’s nothing he wants more.

when shiro pulls away, he’s a bit startled.

adam: is everything okay?

shiro, looking ready to shit: ah yea. just um, wow, we’ve been together for so long.

adam: *quietly raising his eyebrows at his bf*

the song ends then and adam’s surprised to hear the next song. his eyes widen as he turns to shiro.

adam: is that...?

shiro, nodding and laughing quietly: you lied to me. it wasn’t in punjabi.

adam, who was staring and the speakers connected to shiro’s phone, now whips his head back to shiro who bends down on one knee: shiro. what are you doing?

but he already knows what shiro is doing. and his heart’s racing and he somehow has tears in his eyes as tujhe dekha toh plays in the background.

shiro, pulling out a ring with shaky hands: adam, i’ve known and loved you for eight years now-

adam: you’re seriously proposing to me with thiS SONG??!!

adam doesn’t realize that his statement made shiro panic because he’s in the midst of asking god how he managed to find a man who thought any song from dilwale dulhania le jayenge would ever possibly make a good proposal song. once his holy conversation with god is over, he turns back to shiro, smiling and takes his hand to tug him up then proceeding to kiss him hard till they’re both out of breath.

adam: i’ll marry you but promise me to never choose a hindi song for the wedding. my cousins will be there.

#i have more but this is it for now ig #vld #adashi #adam #shiro #keith #adashi hcs #voltron #whatthehellmyra #for people who aren't desi #its ok to rb #myheadcanons

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animentality · 5 years

Note

I dont know why ive just been stuck wit such an empty feeling with wat ive done. i dunno why im regretting my decision but i need validation from my actions, if u dont mind. so one of my friends started to talk badly of 1 of my closer friend and i found displeasure in it, so i went to tell my closer friend about it. i just dunno if i did the right thing. when my friend disrespected my closer 1 i just felt so sad. i had experiences wit ppl like tht and honestly i wasnt surprised, was i right 4 it

I don’t think I have enough information to say, my dude.

How badly was the friend talking about your closer friend?

Was it gossip/ untrue? Was it really mean/ unnecessary to comment on? Was it something your closer friend absolutely needed to know? Are those two close friends as well? Do they care about one another’s opinions?

There’s nothing wrong, I think, in telling your closer friends what your less close friends say about them, in general.

If it’s something really, really malicious, untrue, or completely uncalled for, then yeah, sure, you CAN tell them.

But if it’s just gonna hurt them, and they can’t do anything about whatever it is that was said, true or not, then why bother?

I don’t know, dude, it really depends on what kind of person the closer friend is.

Does she WANT to know about mean stuff people say to her, or perhaps she WANTS to know what supposed friends are saying about her?

Is she the kind of friend who’d feel hurt and betrayed if YOU didn’t tell her?

Or is she the kind of friend who’d be like, why would you tell me that?

OR, worse, why didn’t you DEFEND me? Why are you friends with someone who hates me?

I think that I really can’t say if you did the right thing with the info you’ve given me.

I’ve talked some shit about my own friends before, but it’s never stuff I wouldn’t say to their face.

It’s friendly banter that’s usually just joking about someone’s way of speaking, something they do a lot. Like I had a friend named Nick who was always getting in trouble with our English teacher cuz he was a sassy motherfucker?

Used to shit talk him all the time, and it was always in jest.

After all, being a shithead at an English teacher is something he embraced.

And everything I ever said about him to friends I would easily say it to his face, and he’d take it as a joke and usually shit talk back.

Shit talk is fine when it comes down to how someone CHOOSES to behave.

It’s fine when it’s something a person can defend themselves against.

Things they have no control over shit talk usually verges into meanness because what can they do if they have a verbal tic or a certain physical appearance.

So ultimately, it’s really up to you, since you know the situation best.

Was it playful shit talk, like God Stacy’s always going on about pollution in the ocean when she’s using more straws in her art projects than the entire subcontinent of India, or was it more serious shit talk, when Stacy is talking about how Vickie’s always acting so much better than the rest of us?

Cuz in either case, you have no obligation to tell Stacy, and if you DO tell her, then you’d best be prepared for the drama that comes next.

End of the day, the real question is whether you’re trying to help Stacy or make yourself feel better.

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utopianvoices · 6 years

Note

Stray Kids reaction to their s/o asking them to help babysit their younger family member (like a younger cousin or nephew)? Thank you!!

↭ a/n: I DIED WRITING THIS askdjfhlksaj thank youuuuuuu for requesting!! i hope you like it :D also it’s not proof read asdlfkj sorrY

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

woojin

you would’ve called him to help babysit your younger sister because you had some important work to attend to and your parents were not in

and this soft bear would’ve agree without thinking twice

because he loved you that much uwu

but when he reaches he’s in a slight mess because,,,,,, he has never done it before

he’s the youngest in his family and also taking care of the other 7 members doesn’t really count as babysitting

but surprisingly does a really good job

he’ll entertain her to the best of his abilities

tea parties? hell yes

he’ll play along with everything she does, as long as it made her happy

lowkey influences her so much that she keeps asking for chicken when you come back

and then the dreaded time comes,,,,,,,

sleeping time

he’ll have a bit of a trouble at the start because he has zero (0) clue what he was supposed to do

but finally just decided on singing her to sleep

while holding onto her tiny hands

and would you look at that,,,,, she fell right asleep to his angelic voice

and he just breathes a sigh of relief because it went way better than he expected and he deleted the list of things that could have possibly went wrong from his brain

8/10 wouldn’t mind doing it again

chan

certified dad

will have no problem at all

by the end of the day he probably took care of your sister way better than you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorrynotsorry

he has two younger siblings and one of them is a girl so he wouldn’t have much trouble

literally transforms into a kid when with your sister

and it wouldn’t be the first time he’s meeting her too

so it’ll just be a really comfortable exchange

will probably bring his computer there to work on his music

and she’ll be so intrigued by what he’s doing that half the time passes with her sitting in his lap while he works

it’s really the cutest sight

will probably buy her ice cream and then regret it because ice cream has sugar and it’s going to make her a hyper kid

that’s when he goes for drastic measures,,,,,,

tickle fights

it’s a proven way to tire out kids to get them to sleep :>

but when he tries to tuck her in bed and leave, she will whine and grab onto his shirt, at the verge of tears

reminding him of you when he needs to leave and you don’t let him

and after many failed attempts, he’s going to carry her to the living room, and let her sleep on his chest

which will lead to him not being able to do anything

causing him to eventually fall asleep with your little sister clinging to him

and when you come home you almost uwu out loud becaUSE HOW CUTE WILL THAT SIGHT BE

im crying while writing this and nobody can console me because it’s too fricking cute ;-;

minho (lee know)

THIS BOI

will charm your sister

no doubts

the moment he walks in through the doors and smiles at her your BABY sister is whipped

in the cutest way possible

he doesn’t have to do anything tbvh

she’s going to make him sit down and proudly show him her collection of toys, her tea party set, maybe some cute dresses

and get this

he’ll ask her to model for him wearing those cute ass dresses and he acts like paparazzi, taking photos of her to show you and the other boys

will be so well behaved that minho messages you saying “wow your sister is such an angel she hasn’t thrown a tantrum once and she’s really tidy too!”

and you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, wut

this baby devil was pretending to be nice in front of your boyfriend

but i mean,,,, who wouldn’t be whipped for minho

will go around saying that he’s her boyfriend and minho wouldn’t mind one bit because she was fricking adorable

he’ll call you and tell you that he’s breaking up with you because your sister was waaaay cuter

and you hear your sister giggling on the other side of the phone and you roll your eyes, chuckling softly because it wasn’t surprising

because minhoe is a ladies killer everybody

doesn’t matter the age

only phacts

changbin

dark changbin who

i only know aegyo king

will probably be awkward with her when he first arrives

and you really want to stay and help but you gotta rush

so he’s left alone with this baby who’s surprisingly smaller than him

im kidding he’s a tol changbean

they just stare at each other for a while,,,,,,, before she starts crying

and he freaks and he’s just like “omg i’ve failed y/n already she’s going to hate me now i can’t even handle a small girl”

and he’ll have to calm himself and check the list you had given him and will realise that she’s crying because she was just hungry

so he goes to the kitchen and spots a packed box labelled “food for y/s/n”

and thus the ordeal of feeding a kid starts

he’ll have to place a thrashing baby into the high chair and put her bib on

and once that’s done he’ll feed her,,,,,,, will probably start doing the aeroplane

and makes baby noises at her (baby changbin)

99.9% THE TYPE TO TRY AEGYO ON HER AND ASK HER TO EAT

and it works, because research proves that babies can communicate easily

will jump for joy when it’s time for her to sleep

not that he hated it, but it was definitely more tiring than expected

will pat her to sleep and quietly leave the room, recalling the events that happened today because he just seems like a really reflective bub

he’ll probably think of parenthood at this point of time and realise how difficult it is, making a mental note to thank his family for their patience and care

hyunjin

another one who would be clueless asf at first

but he’ll put things together in the end

by comparing your baby sister to,,,,,, kkami

10/10 would happen

he’ll go like “okay hyunjin, this isn’t any different from taking care of kkami when he was a baby,,, they’re both babies amirite”

babysitting doesn’t work that way hyunjin

if your sister was the type to be really chill

even as a baby

not needing much taking care of

he’s gonna read to her,,,,,, definitely

he’ll ask her to show him her collection of books and he’ll choose a few from the stack and read her the stories with her on his lap

with animated hand actions and voice changes when necessary

they’ll just bond by reading books after books,,,,,, will probably get carried away and end up finishing the whole stack of books she brought out instead of the planned 3

but if she was gonna be the type that needed to be really entertained, he’ll rap, dance, roll around etc.

basically anything that will amuse her because he really doesn’t want her to start crying because kkami never cried and he had no idea how to deal with the situation if she started crying

but it’ll all be pretty smooth sailing

will tuck her in bed 10 minutes before her bedtime just in case

and will literally wipe sweat off his face as she falls asleep

jisung (han)

okay this boy

i see it going both ways

either he messes up or does fantastically

there’s no in between

so in the case that he messes up, it’ll probably because he scared her too much with his enthusiasm

like it’s understandable how bright this sun can be

and young kids won’t be able to handle all that shine

so yes she’ll probably get scared and start crying and never want to go near him again

but in the case that it goes amazing

which will most probably be what happens

he will spoil her with hugs, kisses and whatever a baby loves

will definitely ignore your words by bringing her ice cream and chocolate and a bag full of sweets

which they both finish

and will be running around the house because of sugar overdrive

honestly you don’t know who’s babysitting who anymore

it’s just two out of control kids running around and thrashing the place

but all that activity is gonna tire the both of them so you sister will start opening her hands to him, signalling him to carry her to bed

and he’ll do so, swooping her up and tucking her in bed, peppering her face with kisses causing her to giggle softly

and she’ll be out in a second because damn,,,,,, hanging out with the brightest star can be tiring

and he’ll be exhausted too but he needs to hurry and clean the mess they made before you come home and find out what really went down in the name of “babysitting”

felix

i see felix as someone who wouldn’t have too much of a problem

because he has two sisters and one of them is younger than him

and boys are generally protective of their younger sisters so he would take care of your younger sister the same way

he would’ve probably already met your sister before

so when he walks through the doors and she sees him, she’s going to run to him and jump into his arms completely ignoring you when you were leaving

he’ll have absolutely no problem because he knows what she likes and dislikes and will be so accommodating

will probably switch on some cartoons and when “felix the cat” comes on, she’ll get so excited pointing back and forth to him and to the screen and screaming “felix”

and he’ll just nod along enthusiastically at whatever she does

also will purposely leave his freckles out in the open in all its glory

because if there’s one thing that you and your sister have in common

it’s the love for his freckles

will have 0 complains when she grabs her washable ((he checked)) marker and connects his freckles one by one

scrunching her face in concentration which makes his heart melt into goo

he’ll tell her how pretty it was, although he almost got a heart attack when he saw his face in the mirror, with all the lines covering his face

also another one who will sing your sister to sleep

because his deepass voice transforms into something entirely different when he’s singing

will only leave to wash his face after he’s a hundred percent sure that she’s asleep

and will still take some pictures of his face to share with you before washing it off

seungmin

dinOSAUR COMING THROUGH

it’s surprising how i think the maknae line will handle your sister better than the hyung line

this boy will also have no problem with your sister

but unlike the other boys, he’ll probably be more prepared

bringing a few of his own gifts for her

like a new toy

or maybe some playdough

omg playdough

these two will have so much fun playing with the playdough

will literally just spend hours making different animals and objects with your sister

and every time she makes an animal, he’s going to imitate the sound of the animal

so when she attempts to make a dinosaur, he will just bring out his extremely nasal voice, trying to imitate a dinosaur and make her laugh

and it works all the time

but also unlike the other boys, i think he’ll be pretty strict

in the sense that

he won’t allow her to have too many sweets, although he has to muster all his self control to not fall for her large doe eyes

if she gets toooo pouty, he’s going to sit her down and softly explain to her how the sweets are bad for her if she eats too much

and will playfully tell her that she’ll have no more teeth if she eats too much

and she’ll just gasp adorably and tell him that she’ll never eat sweets again

after which she proceeds to ask him for a sweet,,,,, and he’ll just shake his head and tell her firmly that he’ll give her one if she goes to sleep right after

and that’s how seungmin makes things work, ladies and gentlemen

father material af

jeongin (i.n)

a baby babysitting another baby in this economy?? more likely than you think

but in all honesty, even if he was your boyfriend, you will hardly ever ask him to help babysit

you’ll always ask other members

not that you didn’t trust him,,,,, you just didn’t want to fluster him too much because he is the youngest after all

but don’t forget that he has a brother who is quite a few years younger than him

so he’ll be just fine

the first time you ask him to babysit, you were pretty worried, texting him to check every hour or so

until he gets fed up and just facetimes you if you’re free

and just goes “stop messaging me y/n!! you’re spoiling our fun bonding time” and he proceeds to show what he and you sister were doing

which was colouring and doing those connect-the-dots drawings

but he’s not just watching your sister,,, oh no

he has his own activity sheet and they just work in silence, concentrating like their lives depended on it

and you just hang up, shaking your head

because what else did you expect from two kids

he’ll keep your sister so occupied by doing so many activites,,,,,, drawing, colouring, singing trot, dancing around, playing tag

you name it and they’ll do it

that he and her just collapse in the middle of the living room

and you come home to find one actual baby and one overgrown baby sprawled across the living room, their soft snores filling up the house

but the place is clean, almost as if jeongin made sure to clean everything before he fell asleep next to your sister :’)

∞ end ∞

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids headcanons #bang chan #lee minho #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #han #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #i.n #dee scribbles

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grace-sully · 7 years

Text

Broken Trust

* this is not my gif; all credit goes to the owner

Paring: Harry Styles x Sister!Reader

Warnings: use of drugs

Word count: 2k

Summary: Harry is your older brother and he catches you doing something that you're not allowed to do like smoking or taking drugs etc and have a massive argument with you.

Request: Could you do one where Harry is your older brother and he catches you doing something that your not allowed to do like smoking or taking drugs etc and have a massive argument with you or something like that please, thank you love x

A/N: I don't know a lot about drugs so bare with me if i get any wrong. Enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was around 2pm on a Saturday afternoon. Your parents had gone out shopping to get food ready for the BBQ you were having in the evening to welcome home your older brother Harry from tour. You had invited your best friend Sophie round as you were lonely in the house alone. Harry was expected to come at around 5pm in time for the BBQ and so was your older sister Gemma just a little after and you knew your parents would be around two hours after leaving at 1:30 ish.

You and Sophie were sitting in your room with the music so loud you wondered why the neighbors never complained, windows open and talking about whatever came to you.

“I know what I’ve got to cheer you up!” she said excitedly after the two of you had a huge discussion about your now ex boyfriend that broke up with you unexpectedly which you figured out was because he cheated on you and went for the girl he cheated on you with..

“What?” you asked confused as she reached for her bag and started to rummage through it in hopes with what she's looking for.

“This!” she said holding up a white tin in the air which she proceeded to open.

“A spliff? Where the hell did you get this? You know our parents will kill us if they see us with one of these let alone smoke one!” you practically screamed at her with the fear of getting caught..

“Relax I got it from Marcus at school, he needed to repay me somehow,” she said winking at you, “and besides, there is no one here, your mum and dad are out shopping and your brother and sister won't be here for a few more hours,” she said to you while getting her lighter out of the tin as well and put the joint up to her lips and took a drag.

“Yes but they might smell it, they're not idiots with this kind of stuff you know” you said to her whilst getting up from your place on the bed, to your window and opened it to remove the smell and smoke that evicted from it.

“Come on, the smell will pretty much go by then and if it doesn’t, we'll spray your room with air freshener” she said looking at you directly in the eyes, holding the spliff out towards you. “it will make you feel so much better Y/N, trust me, you will feel completely relaxed and will forget about him completely”

Wanting to forget about him for a while, you gave in to her pleading and took the spliff out of her hands and took a drag for yourself, instantly feeling relaxed as you did so. You began to feel the incline of a high coming after a few more drags, but unfortunately for you, over the loud music you didn’t hear Harry’s car pull into the drive way after his flight was earlier than expected. You didn’t hear him come into the house, you didn’t hear him shout up to you, or walk up the stairs. You only heard him last minute when it was too late.

“What the fuck are you to doing?!” he screamed at you which instantly made you look towards him. You were frozen. You didn’t know whether to run and hug him after not seeing him for 6 months or just look at him. You unconsciously choose the second option and just stared dead into his eyes. Sophie decided it was her time to go as she instantly grabbed everything she got out of her bag and walked past Harry and out the house with only squeezing a quiet bye out from her lips leaving you with the half used spliff in your hands..

“Uh i-i uh” you stuttered trying to come up with a good explanation which was incredibly hard while being on the verge of being high and having Harry’s angry and daring eyes staring straight through you.

Still not attempting to move your body, Harry stalked over to you and snatched the spliff out of your hand and stared at it for a brief moment before throwing it out of the window and into the pond that was in the middle of your garden.

“I’m not going to repeat my self again, what the fuck, are you doing?” this time you could actually comprehend the question but still couldn’t think of the right answer to give the lanky boy who you had missed so much that was standing in front of you and continued to stare at him. Tears began to rim your eyelid and began to fall. For a split second you could see a hint of remorse in his eyes but then went right back to the stone cold ones you were greeted with when he caught you.

Harry chuckled to himself and shook his head in disbelief that he actually caught you doing what you were doing and shuffled on the spot before returning the harsh and hateful gaze towards you.

“How can you think this is okay? Especially in the house your parents raised you in?” he questioned you with a quieter but still angry voice. You finally decided to move and stood up from your place on the bed and wiped the tears that escaped with the back of your sweater you were wearing. “were you only doing it because your friend was doing it? So you look cool? Because in all honestly it doesn’t look cool Y/N it just makes you look like you have nothing else to live for”

“T-that’s not w-why I did it” you stuttered in a quiet voice hoping he heard you.

“Then why, why did you do it Y/N” he stood in front of you waiting for your response. However you still couldn’t think of one. You looked down at your fee and played with the sleeve of your sweater stalling.

“Unbelievable,” he said, shaking his head and looking anywhere in the room but at you, “you know what hurts the most Y/N? I get to came home after months of being away from you, mum, dad and Gemma and everyone else i love, to have my flight land earlier then I expected it to which means i got to surprise you, but to then come home to you doing this and don’t even have the decency to give me an explanation as to why your doing it.”

You still couldn’t give him an answer, you felt too embarrassed that he caught you in the first place, you didn’t even want to tell him the real reason. You just hoped and prayed he wouldn’t tell your parents.

“I’m so disappointed in you Y/N.” With that, he left the room. You heard him go down the stairs, out the front door and start up his car to drive away, leaving you all alone in your thoughts.

You felt hurt that he was disappointed in you but you knew you deserved it. You had always looked up to Harry from such a young age, and when his band started getting big, you respected him even more for him to chase his dreams and be such an inspiration for many other people who also look up to him. You ended up collapsing on your bed with the same words repeating over and over again ‘I'm so disappointed in you’.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was about an hour since Harry had left you in your room to go off somewhere else. You heard your parent car turn into the driveway and tried to reduce the redness around your eyes from all of the crying. Failing, you heard the front door open and your parents footstep into the kitchen.

“Hello Y/N we're back, are you okay?” you didn’t know if Harry had told them that he swung by early and found you doing what you were doing so you decided not to bring it up. if they knew they would ask you and you would know by now.

“Yeah i'm fine” you tried to keep your voice sounding as normal as possible which didn’t really work as each word that came out was at different pitches and wobbled. Obvious that you have been crying.

“Are you sure?” you heard you mum ask.

“Just gonna get in the shower before Gem and Harry get here!” you could hardly say the name that left your lips, feeling as though you weren’t worth to say his name. Before you could get a reply you stripped off all of your clothes and jumped in the shower hoping it would calm you down and stop you crying.

It was about 9pm now, you had all had food and were just sat outside chatting with each other can catching up with everything that's go on. Harry hadn’t spoken to you all evening but have been giving you looks all night from the moment he walked in the door for the second time that day, minus and surprise he was given, till now. You were wondering how your parents and Gemma hadn’t picked up on the odd behavior. You were extremely quiet which was weird for itself and you and Harry avoided each other all night.

“Sweetheart can you go inside and get me another glass of wine please?” you father asked you sweetly whilst handing you the old bottle to put inside as well. Nodding at him to confirm his request, you stood up and walked inside. When you were inside you herd a voice from behind you.

“Hey, aren't you going to offer to get me a drink?” Harry asked you, trying to start conversation.

“Sorry” you replied shortly, not even looking at him which earnt you a sigh from him.

“Listen Y/N, im sorry i shouted at you earlier and left you, i shouldn’t have acted the way i did. Now i'm not saying i would have shouted at you less, just would have taken a different route around it,” you were now facing him but couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“It’s okay,” you said quietly. There was a slight pause before he started speaking again.

“Why did you do it? and please be honest with me?” he took a step closer to you and crossed his broad arms over his chest. You looked up but still not at him with tears starting to well up in your eyes.

“Umm,” you hesitated, and laughed a little feeling embarrassed, “my boyfriend cheated on me, and then broke up with me to go after the other girl” you said, finally looking him in the eyes with a few tears falling.

Harry’s face softened as he opened his arms out to you to walk into. You accepted his embrace with opened arms crashing your face into his chest. This was the first time you had touched him since he went away 6 months ago. Your tears at this point were uncontrollable and forcefully falling down your face along with the sobs that escaped your mouth.

“Are you still disappointed in me?” you questioned. After a few minutes of him holding you and you crying into his chest, moving back a little to look at his face.

He sighed thinking about his answer, “not as much as i was,” he answered truthfully. Nodding, you settled your head back on to his chest. You knew he wouldn’t instantly be fine with you again, but you had somewhat wished.

“I promise I will never do it again” you said with all serious. Getting high just to forget about a stupid good for nothing boy wasn’t worth you losing you brother over. Harry was much more important to you than that.

“Next time you have boy trouble, just speak to Gem or mum, they're the best for that kinda stuff” you smiled and nodded, stepping back from him. “Now come on, let's go give dad his wine.”

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Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, please give it a reblog and leave some love <3

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles smut #harry styles writing

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makknays · 7 years

Text

nur du.

nur du; only you in German

“I don’t know what do at this point any more. I think we should break up; it would be for the better.”

“No, you’re not leaving me, not when there’s so many ways we could do this without a breakup.”

“I don’t think there is, I’m sorry, I love you but I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

genre: angst, romance

word count: 2k (1,999)

a/n: my german is rusty so idk if that’s correct i was torn between du/dich, lemme know if im wrong or right :)

Relationships are never easy, you could easily say they were my kind of thing. I’ll get ready for the next cliche, they won’t my thing until I met him, I started to believe in love because of him but I started to forget what it was like to be loved because of him as well. Jungkook was the man of my dreams, he was everything I wanted and more. However, he no longer had the time for me nor the patience.

“Listen, I know you’re a busy person but could you at least try to make time for me. I don’t want to be clingy but it’s been far too long since we’ve been on a date, do you know how long it’s been? It’s been six months.” you said to him but he paid you no attention. “Why am I even here? You tell me to come over, only to ignore me like you have been for the past few months; do you even know what’s been happening in my life?” you questioned him as you reached to grab your jacket, preparing to leave, only minutes after you arrived.

“Sure, I do. You act.” he monotonously replied to you, not even moving an inch from his position on the sofa. “Jungkook, I got the role in a KBS Drama, do you know how big of a deal that is? Of course, you don’t. You didn’t even know that I auditioned, did you?” you said, laughing in disbelief at the remains of your relationship. Silence. “I feel like I’m the only one fighting for us and it hurts, where have you been all this time? Your friends are more interested in me and you are; even when I got my role in the drama, they congratulated me, took me out to have a celebratory meal, and you didn’t. Do you understand how much that hurt me? You’re supposed to be my boyfriend not them.” you were on the verge of screaming but you internalised those emotions in order to not cause a scene.

“Why don’t you just date them? You seem to spend more time with them anyway.” “I don’t want them! I want you but you can’t even clear one day for me.” you shouted, this time holding back the tears that were threatening to flow out of your eyes. “Okay, when are you next free?” he asked, not a care in his voice. “Not for another five months, you would’ve known that if you had actually spoken to me. I have to fly out of the country for the drama.” you said, calming yourself down with the thought of being able to get away. “Then what am I supposed to do about this? I don’t have time, you don’t have time. What’s your solution?” he said, this time actually putting the effort in to face you.

“I don’t know what do at this point any more. I think we should break up; it would be for the better.” you suggested. “No, you’re not leaving me, not when there’s so many ways we could do this without a breakup.” he sternly replied. “I don’t think there is, I’m sorry, I love you but I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

A week later you were flying out of Seoul to Zurich. This is exactly what you needed and although it was for work, it was still a getaway for you. During the past week, Jungkook hadn’t even tried to contact you. You were seen of by Taehyung and Jimin instead of him and although it hurt slightly, the two of you were over and that was that. You just needed time to heal.

“I messed up.” the younger male said as he appeared in front of Yoongi’s house. “What are you doing here? Is everything alright? What did you mess up?” he worriedly asked the maknae but he stayed silent. “Look, come in. Why don’t we talk inside?” and Jungkook complied, walking straight to the living room. “What exactly did you mess up?” “She broke up with me. I messed up as her boyfriend and she’ll never come back for me.” he said, tears forming in his round eyes. “What made her break up with you?” “I had no time for her, I hadn’t been on a date with her in over 6 months and I knew nothing about her life; I had no idea she even auditioned for that drama…”

“Look, kid. Relationships, they’re not my thing. But I can tell you this. They’ll never be easy and you’ll go through alot together and individually but if she’s worth fighting for, you gotta keep going. Even if she doesn’t come back to you, at least you tried. I don’t wanna tell you that you were a shitty boyfriend or anything because everyone has a low point in their relationships, she just happened to be strong enough to let go to stop her own suffering.” “She said she loves me, so why did she leave?” “I’m telling you, she loved you enough to let you go.”

You found yourself constantly checking your phone to see if there was a new message from Jungkook. Nothing. Although you were the one who cut him off, you still wanted him to message you and talk to you, not completely blank you out from his life. Here, you had no one to talk to, not about this stuff at least. Even if you were close to your fellow actresses/actors, no one was close enough to comfort you.

While you were in your dressing room, an hour ahead of the shoot, you received a call. “Hello.” you answered absentmindedly, not caring enough to check who had called. “___, can you talk right now?”, it was Yoongi, not your best friend but he was close to you. “Yeah, what’s up? Everything okay back home?” “Well, for the most part but umm… Jungkook…” “What about him?” “He’s disappeared, he took his phone with him and just drove off somewhere. No one knows where he’s gone.” “What? Is he stupid? Why would he do that?” you asked, your shock causing the stylists to jump slightly, you bowed in apology. “I don’t know, the last time I spoke to him was about you.” “I, I just want him to be safe. Please do everything you can to find him, safely.”

You couldn’t believe your ears, was this boy out of his mind? Why would he just drive off and disappear on everyone like that. You tried to reach his phone but due to the fact that you were in another country you could only reach him if he also had wifi.

“I don’t know what kind of stunt you’re pulling but I want you to be safe and at home, Jungkook. I don’t want to lose you to a mistake you make.”

“…I’m sorry, I’m not going to be home for a while. I won’t make any stupid mistakes; I’m in Busan.”

“Jungkook, you can’t just run away from your life because one thing didn’t work out.”

“No, you can’t tell me that. Because that’s exactly what you did as well.”

“Regardless of what I did or didn’t do, you should’ve been better than me and stayed in Seoul. And I’m here to act not as a getaway, remember, I’m still working over here.”

“You don’t need to decide what I choose to do.”

The short-lived conversation frustrated you, your now ex-boyfriend was always the arrogant type but when you needed him to be sane, he wouldn’t be. You placed your phone on the table as you took a breath and sat down opposite your mirror to have your hair done. Not even 5 seconds after you took a breath, your phone rang. It was Yoongi, again. “He’s in Busan.” he sighed over the phone. “I heard. He better not do anything dumb.” you sighed, really wishing you could be home to figure this whole thing out. “Remember, he’s not a child. He hates being babied, so give him a chance to do things his way.” Yoongi was right, you always babied him, despite being the same age, it was always you telling him how to do things; it must have been a blow to his ego.

It had been almost a month since you’ve been in Zurich and since Jungkook fled to Busan. A month of silence, neither of you had messaged the other, in fear of saying something that would continue to hurt them or continue to fuel their anger. Today you were in a beautiful garden, rich greens and passionate colours surrounded you; you were filming the first kiss for your character and her counterpart. It was weird not kissing someone you loved, you still weren’t used to the whole feeling but it was your job. You ventured into the garden before the shoot started and found yourself staring at every other flower; however, your favourite was a simple hybrid tea rose, it was bold, passionate and a symbol of love. Love. Something you had but hadn’t been returned to you, or so you felt. Your character was being loved but that didn’t suffice, it was nowhere near the love you needed in your relationship.

You wandered around the beautiful setting again after the shoot, many other people were also there, admiring the beauty that nature had managed to produce. As you strolled around the blissful garden you found yourself being drawn towards the same rose as before; you had no idea why but it intrigued you in various ways. Right when you reappeared by the rose bush, a familiar hand reached out to brush the delicate petals. You turned slightly to look at the owner of the hand and it was none other than Jungkook.

“Fancy seeing you here.” he smiled as he tucked his hands into his jacket pocket, why he was even wearing a jacket in the warmth of Swiss summer puzzled you. “Why are you here? I thought you were in Busan.” you told him, your eyes still fixed on the soft-looking rose. “I was and then I needed out so I came here, not realising you were here since you didn’t mention where you would be when we fought.” he chuckled. “Seriously, what were the odds of this?”

“Why did you just get up and leave?” you asked him, finally giving into looking into his beautiful brown eyes. “I was hurt by what you had said; it was a real wake up call but you had already made your decision to leave and nothing I could say or do would probably sway you.” he told you as he remembered the events. “You told me that you still love me but you didn’t let me speak about my feelings before you left.”

“I was a mess, I was leaving the country soon after and I was tired of being hurt. You were so cold and I didn’t know why.” you told him, recalling the way he acted around you. “I admit I was cold, I was annoying but I have nothing to justify it; the stress I felt I just pushed onto you without considering your feelings and I understand that you wanted out but I just wish I could go back and prevent it from blowing up.” he told you truthfully, removing his hands from his pockets to hold your own, causing you to look down and stare at the way they perfectly fit. “You need to know that I love you and didn’t stop for this past month, being without you hurt and I realised how bad of a boyfriend I was recently; I need to make it up to you and give you months of dates back. It’s only ever been you for me.” His last statement caused a smile to spread across your face and you looked up at him, his eyes sparkled like stars in the night sky, “Why not start?”

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