#but like if she hust took me seriously and idk actual told him to stop and got him to maybe we woukdnt have been in that situation

[pneumonic-screamers]

I don't even know what wrong this time I just feel so empty

#jinx's hijinks #like yeah today was not great #i tried talking to my mother about how the way my brother has been treating me has been affecting me badly #and how it doesnt help when she brushes it off #because as much as i hate saying it the 'its just a joke' excuse doesnt work when thats all i heard when i was literally beung bullied #to the point i wanted to dir at age 9 #like it feels so much like that #and maybe im just sensitive. or maybe i just cant make that differentiation because of what ive experienced #but i think menand my feelings should be taken seriously #because i dont choose to act this way. if i could choose to not feel like this i wod #*would #but for some reason my mother is deadset on believing i chose to feel the way i feel #like girl if i could choose i wouldnt be picking wanting to die because my brother wont leave me alone #she thinks i can choose how i act when im on the verge of a meltdown #like no om not choosing to do this i cant control it #because everythings too much and youre son wont stop having a go at me for ever yr hing i do and he keeps making his shoes squeam and if i #hear that sound one more time im going to get violent #and i dont wanna do that #but like if she hust took me seriously and idk actual told him to stop and got him to maybe we woukdnt have been in that situation #idk #im just not feeling like im actually a valued part of my family lately #because it seems like im always the dramatic one and im always dissmissed because of it #but even if i am being dramatic my feeling are still valid becaude itd still effecting me #like i dont understand how people dont get that