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child-of-thedarknight · 4 years

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His Dirty Little Secret

I woke up and rolled out of my bed, slowly shuffling to the bathroom in my dorm as I went for my shower. I turned on the water as I got in, letting the hot water relax my muscles as I attempted to wake myself up for the day. I quickly washed, shaved and dried myself off, putting moisturiser on my legs to make them smoother. I then blow dried my hair before getting dressed. I put on my tights, skirt, shirt, tie and my school shoes that had a little bit of a heel on them. I made sure my skirt was higher than the school rules allowed, then I curled my half black, half red hair. I then grabbed my school books and bag, and went downstairs for breakfast.

I walked in and saw my brothers all sitting at our house table. I went and sat with them grabbing a green apple and pouring myself some pumpkin juice for breakfast. "Why do you always only eat green apples Emma?" My brother, Jackson asked. "Because red apples taste funny. That's why." I replied, pulling out my potions homework that was due today. Snape would kill me if I didn't have it done. As I was about three quarters of the way through, my bestfriend Ashleigh walked over and said she needed to talk to me. I got up, grabbed my book bag, and followed her out. We went back to her common rooms and sat down on her bed. "Help. Dilemma. Make up crisis. Sebastian wants to take me to Hogsmeade as we have a day off and I am useless when it comes to makeup. Please help." She pleaded. I sighed and went through her make up, thinking of what would work, trying to match it up with her outfit. I eventually decided on a smoky cut crease for the eyeshadow, winged eyeliner, a light foundation and blush, and a dark pink lipstick. I did her eyebrows, helped her change out her nose stud for a nose ring, and then she was ready to go. I also quickly put on a deep purple lipstick and did a smoky eye for me. "Thank you so much Emma. What would I do without you?" She asked. "Probably die." I replied as we laughed. I heard the bell toll, signaling my first class of the day, Herbology. I quickly hugged Ashleigh, wished her well on her date, and rushed to the greenhouses.

"Greenhouse Three today guys." We heard Professor Sprout yell out from behind us. We had Herbology with the Ravenclaws, so I paired up with my bestfriend from Ravenclaw, Amy. "Girl you are gonna get in so much trouble with Snape for your skirt today." She informed me as we sat down. "Incase you haven't noticed babes, I really don't care." I replied as we completed our task. We then parted ways as I headed off to Transfiguration and she went to Ancient Runes. I successfully turned my turtle into a teapot, and got ten points awarded to my house. As soon as the bell rang for lunch, we were up and out of there so quickly. I rushed to the Great Hall, wanting to get a seat with my brothers. As I sat down next to Freddie, I noticed a certain blond Slytherin staring at me from across the hall. "He is staring at you again little sis. Can I deal with him?" asked Freddie. "Nahh. I can handle him." I said as we ate our lunch and talked about Quidditch and the team trials that were coming up. I finally agreed to try out for the team beater and then headed off early to my last class of the day, Potions.

As I was waiting outside for Professor Snape, Malfoy and his gang came and stood next to me. He clicked his fingers and they all went and did something else. "Sit next to me in Potions today. We need to talk about certain things." He demanded and walked off before I could reply. I sighed and went in as Snape walked in. I took my seat at the back of the classroom and Draco came and sat next to me. We received odd looks from others, but between his cold stare and my resting bitch face, they all looked away. "Today, we will be doing theory work with who you are sitting with. By the end of the lesson, you will be able to tell me the uses of Wolfsbane, Draught of Living Death, and Veritaserum. Understood?" Snape drawled in his monotone voice. We all nodded and got to work. "Want to explain to me what the hell you are doing wearing your skirt that short?" Draco hissed at me as I started writing down the uses of Wolfsbane. "I wear it like this everyday, Malfoy. You know this." I said as I rolled my eyes. Draco let out a sigh of anger as he started writing down what we needed as well. "How about why you were with Zabini last night, past curfew? I know you weren't studying." he queried. "How do you know I was with Zabini? Also, what I do with my life is none of your concern. If I wanted to have fun with Zabini, I could. You don't control my life Draco!" I whisper yelled as I got up, handed my finished essay and my homework in, and left to go to my dorm. I was so frustrated with Draco at the moment. Honestly, who does he think he is? Thinking he can control my life and what I do. I got out of my school uniform and changed into my black ripped skinny jeans, my Machine Gun Kelly shirt, Rap Devil hoodie and my combat boots. I put my hair into two braids, and put on my EST 19XX bandana. I grabbed my firebolt and my wand, going out into the corridors before mounting my broom and flying out of the window.

I flew around the castle, over the trees of the forbidden forest, and then to the Quidditch grounds, where I lazily floated in the air, casting random spells and practicing for our charms quiz later this week. After about half an hour of flying around, another person joined me. I looked over to see the ever so annoying Draco Malfoy flying next to me. I rolled my eyes, not ready for another argument with him, and slowly started flying away. It started to drizzle as I was flying around so I decided to just take it slow. Malfoy was still following me, which was making me even more pissed off. "And what in the world could you possibly want now Malfoy? Haven't you got Pansy to go and be with?" I asked him, letting my anger seep through my words. He looked shocked, but quickly recovered as he replied with a witty comment. "I really don't want to be around that clingy bitch. I would rather annoy you to the point of breaking." I sighed and flew down to the ground, heading off towards the castle. "We aren't done with our talk yet little miss." He yelled as he sent our brooms to their respective places, picked me up, and apparated to his dorm. "What the bloody hell are you doing you numpty?" I questioned as he cast the Muffliato charm on his dorm. I rolled my eyes at the fact that of course the Prince of Slytherin got his own dorm, and went and sat on the couch. He walked over to his bed, took off his shoes, socks and his jumper, loosening his tie before lying down and motioning for me to join him. "I'd rather not thanks." I said icily as I turned back to the fire and continued to stare into it. I heard him sigh loudly in annoyance before he went quiet. After an hour of nothing being said between us, I sighed and finally joined him on the bed after taking my shoes and socks off.

"Why aren't you talking to me anymore Emma? We used to talk everyday before the holidays, and now you are just ignoring me and swanning around with other guys that aren't me. What's going on?" He asked me as he put my hood of my jumper down. I looked at him and saw that he truly was hurt, but I honestly did not feel sorry for him at this moment. "You know what you did Malfoy. You know why I'm not talking to you. You don't control my life, and if I choose to go around enjoying myself with other men, then I can. And you can't stop me Malfoy. It was YOU who made the decision to join in with your stupid friends when they gang bashed Jason. It was YOU who had no intention of stopping them. It was YOU who I thought would have the common sense to realise what you were doing. But you didn't. You fucked up. You just can't accept that. So no, I will not stop messing around with Zabini or anyone else I want to." I finished my rant and wiped away the tears that I wasn't even aware were falling down my face. I went to go get off the bed and leave when I felt Draco's hand wrap around my wrist and pull me into a hug. "I am so sorry for what I did Emma. I know I can't fix it. I know that what I did was irreversible and I can't take it back. If I could have done anything to help, you know I would have. I am so sorry for what I did and I want you to forgive me so bad. I know that you hate me right now and I shouldn't be trying to control who or what you do. I just want us back. I want you to be mine the way we were before I fucked up. Please Emma. Please give me one more chance." he started trembling as he spoke and I knew the tears were going to start soon. I pulled back from the hug and wiped his tears. I noticed he had rolled up his sleeves, and when I looked down I recoiled from his touch as if it had suddenly become acid and was melting my skin. He noticed and then realised why I had.

"HOW COULD YOU DRACO?! YOU PROMISED ME YOU NEVER WOULD. YOU SAID YOU WOULD RATHER DIE THAN GET THAT DONE!" I yelled as I got up an went to leave. "NO! DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME EMMA! I HAD NO FUCKING CHOICE! HE WAS GOING TO KILL ME IF I DIDNT. I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU, BUT YOU JUST WOULDNT FUCKING TALK TO ME. IT'S BAD ENOUGH BOTH OF OUR FATHERS ARE WITH HIM. IT'S EVEN WORSE THAT NOW WE BOTH HAVE OUR MARKS!" He yelled as he grabbed my arm and pushed up the sleeve of my hoodie. I ripped my arm away and glared at him. "DON'T YOU DARE BRING MY FATHER INTO THIS! I SWORE WHEN I TOOK THE MARK THAT NO ONE WOULD KNOW. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME AND MY BROTHERS TO HIDE IT FROM PEOPLE? YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE IN THE SCHOOL THAT KNOWS DRACO! SO DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO TURN THIS ON ME!" I retorted. His face was red with rage as he tried to think of a reply. I was so prepared for him to yell at me, so when he kissed me, I was shocked. This wasn't the slow, gentle kind of kiss either. This was the rage filled, passionate, demanding type of kiss that sent shivers down my spine. He picked me up and threw me on the bed, climbing back on top of me as I threaded my hands through his hair. He bit my bottom lip and I moaned into the kiss. He took this opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth as his hands slowly trailed down my body, sending electric shocks through my body wherever he touched me. He pulled my hoodie off and discarded it somewhere in the room, along with my shirt. I loosened his tie enough that I could pull it off, before ripping off his shirt, buttons flying everywhere. He smirked at me before dipping his head down between my breasts, leaving kisses all over my chest as he unclasped my bra and threw it somewhere in his room.

He took one of my nipples in his mouth and started sucking on it whilst playing with the other. I moaned when he bit my nipple as it sent a pleasurable pain through my body. His hands trailed down as he came back up to kiss me, undoing my belt in the process. He took of my jeans and my panties before I flipped us over and took control. I took off his belt, jeans and boxers, and threw them somewhere in his room, not really caring right now. I looked up into his lust filled eyes as I slowly made my way down to his cock, leaving love bites all over his hips as I went. I licked and sucked on the tip, keeping eye contact the whole time. Draco moaned out in pleasure, and I was glad he had cast that spell. I slowly started taking him in, inch by inch, until I had all of him in my mouth. I bobbed my head up and down as Draco laid back, moaning in pleasure beneath me. I pulled off and slowly licked him from base to tip, tasting his precum before going back down. I went faster and faster as I started pumping him as well, trying to get him to his climax. "Ahh. Shit. Emma! I'm g- gonna --" He emptied his load into my mouth before he could finish his sentence. I swallowed it all and licked him clean before showing him. "Holy fuck." He whispered as I moved on top of him. I smirked and then giggled as he rolled us over so he was on top.

He slowly started kissing down my neck, sucking on a few spots to mark his territory. I moaned as he found my sweet spot and I felt him smirk against my skin. He continued sucking on that spot, leaving a dark purple hickey on my pale skin. He then continued his journey down to my core. He kissed my inner thighs, and made his way up to his destination. He licked a long strip up my heat as I let out a long, loud moan. He put my leg over his shoulder and then put his tongue inside my heat. I was in heaven. He slowly started working his fingers in as well as his tongue and it felt so good. I was moaning and biting my lip, trying not to scream out from the pleasure that I was receiving from him. I threaded my hands through his hair and was tugging so hard, I was surprised I didn't rip his hair from his scalp. Draco started to rub his thumb against my clit and within a few seconds, I reached my climax, moaning out Draco's name as I came down from my high. I pulled him up and kissed him long and hard. I then put his fingers in my mouth and licked them clean. Draco groaned at the sight, and his eyes darkened even more. "Fuck me Draco. Now." I demanded as I laid down on his bed, stretching out on his silk sheets. That was all Draco needed to lose all control. He slammed into me, hitting my spot right on the first time. I screamed out as he thrusted hard and fast, continuing to hit my spot dead on. Our kisses were filled with passion as our tongues danced and our bodies collided. I was reaching my climax. I could tell that Draco was as well. I tightened my walls around him and he started get sloppy with his thrusts. I screamed out his name as I reached my climax and he did the same as he reached his. We rode out our highs before he pulled out and collapsed on the bed next to me. I tried to catch my breath as he pulled me into his arms, putting the sheet over us.

"Well, if that's a way to get rid of our anger, I suggest we do it more often." Draco spoke, panting as he also tried to catch his breath. I looked up at him and grinned, nodding my head in agreeance with him. He kissed the top of my head, wrapped his arms around me, and held me as we fell asleep. We would deal with the hell that was to come for the both of us in the morning. But for now. Sleep.

This is so bad. I’m sorry

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edge-lorde · 4 years

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paleo highschool drama

im not done with the book yet, but theres this one sequence in Heart of the Bison: Neandertals Book One by Glen Stott that just charmed the socks right off me and im not going to do a neanderthal book review for this one until ive finished the rest of the series and done some more research but i really want to talk about it.

spoilers, but like... this book wasnt in the library system and is self published so probably not in any stores. even if you hate spoilers consider this the only type of advertising you will likely ever get for this book & i hope some more people do pick it up just for this.

ok so, the main boy is homo sapien/modern human/whatever were called now during the time neanderthals were still around. hes the son of his tribes chief and when hes like tween-age equivalent he gets a crush on a girl from another group. they only get to see each other every 2 years when theres a big rendezvous of all the tribes. they start talking future plans together.

him: “i want to be a strong hunter when i grow up”

her: “i want to get married to a hunter and have lots of babies” blah blah blah

like they were made in heaven! then hes like “next year ill be old enough to take the hunters test. by the next rendezvous i will pass the test and then we’ll be old enough to marry. will you wait for me until then?”

and shes like i make no promises. 2 years is a long time. if i still feel the same about you then as i do now ill marry you.

and hes like “ill prove it to you! next time you see me ill be a hunter!!!”

and then this is were the standardized testing comes in. each hunter/potential hunter has a little symbol that represents them that they carve into all of their arrows/throwing spears. the hunting test is the established hunters taking all the teen boys out on a hunt and acting as referees. when an animal is killed, they look at whose arrows hit where and assign points for things like, where they hit the animal, was it a killing blow, bravery, and stuff like that. if a boy gets at least 30 points on the test he can retake the test next year, if he gets 45 or over he can go through the hunter ceremony and become a hunter. if he gets less than 30 he fails and has to choose some other career path.

our main boy takes the test and nearly gets run over by a bison, but passes with flying colors and is made a hunter on his first time taking the test, which hardly ever happens and is a big deal. still, the experience leaves him with some bison based ptsd.

so the next rendezvous happens and he goes looking for his crush. “look look!” he says “im a first hunter now! so much has happened! we have to talk!!”

and shes like not now, come find me after dinner.

so he goes and eats dinner with his parents and then goes to find her again. when he gets there, she starts being weirdly sour with him. first she tells him hes late even though he got there as fast as he could. then he tells her about becoming a hunter, but all she wants to hear about is the secret hunter ceremony. he tells her he cant tell her about that because its not his secret to tell.

and to that she says “well, if were getting married then we have to tell each other everything. i wont marry someone who keeps things from me.”

so hes like i cant tell you about the ceremonies but i can tell you my secret, to prove i wont keep things from you. during the hunting test i was nearly run over by a bison and now im terrified of them and it kind of sucks because im supposed to be this great hunter now but i dont know if i can face one again. ive never told that to anyone before.”

and shes like “cool now tell me about the ceremony”

and it goes on like that for a bit. she threatens to tell everyone hes afraid of bison. they both go home in a huff. the next day our main boy decides to try to work things out with her again and goes to her house.

her older brother-- a character who so far only ever shows up to be a mother fucking g-- pops out of the bushes and is like “woahhh there partner! shes engaged to someone else now! skedaddle!”

and sure enough, there she is sitting inside with another teen boy, but hes a few years older than them, but not a hunter yet.

main boy: whats the meaning of this?? you said we’d be married!

her: i can explain!!!

boyfriend: beat it kid. what she wants is a real man.

main boy: real man?! im a first hunter!

boyfriend: oh, are you?

and then the boyfriend pulls a fucking biff from back to the future move, and makes his hands look like horns and acts like a bison.

main boy: you told him?? how could you!

her: main boy, wait!

but its too late. main boy runs off by himself. hes convinced that the shitty boyfriend will tell everyone hes afraid of bison and then everyone will think he was only made first hunter because his dad is the chief. he decides to go and hunt a bison all by himself to either prove himself or die trying, and if he does die, then theyll be sorry!

meanwhile, his crush breaks up with her boyfriend because she realizes that hes a dick. the next day she goes looking for main boy but cant find him. eventually she confesses to his mom that she had just been trying to pick a fight with main boy so hed be angry with her and she wouldnt have to break up with him herself.

i just loved this whole sequence. the whole book isnt highschool drama but i hadnt realized how much i wanted shitty paleo teen drama until i read this. 🤣 🤣🤣

#heart of the bison #glen r stott #neanderthal book #rambling #Thoughts #paleoanthropology

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tears-in-the-screendoor · 4 years

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i copied this to comment on pinterest and it wouldnt let me but im not letting it go to waste

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

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mercurialstephie · 5 years

Text

I’m just going to throw this out here: I think some of the leaks are true in the abstract sense but I think that there are so many conflicting details. But I’m rather good at this game, I picked up on Melisandre being immortal/not technically alive since season two and since A Dance With Dragons. SO here’s how I feel. Obviously possible spoilers below

So things that I am fairly certain about just from leaks that do match up, context clues, foreshadowing and where I think this story is going:

Dany is going to I am not going to say ‘mad queen’ but she will give in to her first instinct which unfortunately is always the most extreme and violent one. She’s either physically lost all of those that would get her to calm down and think or the ones that are left just plain don’t trust her. You saw it on her face, the girl is DONE. Can I blame her? No. She just lost her ‘child’ and her actual best friend. Her best friend’s last words to her were in Nathalie Emmanuels’s own words ‘burn the bitches’. Does this mean she should be queen? HELL NO. Dany is a CONQUEROR, she’s a shitastic ruler when left to her own devices. And her last true ‘friend’ Grey Worm is also onboard with plan ‘light em up’. How else do you all think this was going to end? The forshadowing that she was teetering on the brink of being the bad kind of Targaryen was there since day one. Also their words are FIRE AND BLOOD! And the idea that this whole series has been a villain origin story is kind of brilliant IF done right. Also if shes’ even a ‘villain’. It’s complex and it’s interesting IF DONE RIGHT.

Consequently because you cannot set fire to an entire city full of innocent people and just settle down and rule because ‘hey they deserved it anyway’, Dany isn’t going to live. She’s not.

Cersei obviously dies, because duh. Jaime obviously dies because whether he’s going to kill her or try to rescue her, he keeps on bringing up how they came into this world together nad will go out together. Him and Brienne were never going to get a happy ending.

Jon is going to say ‘fuck this noise’ and leave to live his life in the true ‘North. I do not know HOW this can be more obvious. He was happiest when he was free, he doesn’t want to be king or ruler of anything and he keeps on being pushed into these positions. The goodbye to Tormund and Ghost and what Tormund told him is like a BIG RED SIGN saying THIS IS HIS HAPPY ENDING. And it is. He WILL be happier with the wildlings where there are no kings or queens or politics.

Varys is dying. Again like duh. Melisandre told him, it’s plainly clear that he’s on team Aegon. And as Dany said ‘you betray me and I will BBQ you’.

I believe the Friki leaks. I believe that Tyrion will betray Dany. Now here’s where I am going to put a shit-ton of interpretation on stuff: correct me if I am wrong but at the trial Dany wasnt’ there but the Starks were? What if JON doesn’t kill Dany but TYRION does. What if Jon despite seeing what she’s doing just can’t bring himself to do it and Tyrion, who has always stayed away from the fighting, sees that it’s either he does something or literally everyone is going to die because she has snapped from the grief and the heartbreak and he kills her? Jon and the Starks sadly have to execute him because he did kill someone, Jon leaves fed up with the whole thing, fed up that his own sister had a hand in bringing this all to pass by telling Tyrion, though her motivations and intentions were good and just...leaves to a place where he doesn’t have to deal with this. Tyrion dies even though he saved the realm.

And...Sansa becomes queen or at least the leader of whatever. I think the Iron Throne will be burned down but there will still be an ultimate leader. Why do I think it’s Sansa? Because let’s be real the Bran thing makes no sense. And at first the leak WAS Sansa, then it was ‘edited’ to say Bran, Sansa is in King’s Landing she filmed there. They mention her leaving Winterfell for the last time. It’s been subtly shown that she is probably the most qualified right now to be leading a country: she does inspire true loyalty, she is just but she can be hard when she needs to be, she considers and cares about the minutae of ruling like the economy, feeding everyone, dealing with the ‘boring’ things. She’s a good politician, she can play the game and understand the game. And I think that her growth has been leading to that. Davos, Brienne, and I believe Bronn will help her rule.

I do think that the White Walkers arent’ done. I think Bran will have a line about how they always will come back. Because you cannot KILL death. Death always returns. Maybe he’ll go rebuild the wall. Maybe he’ll stay in Winterfell. I don’t know...or maybe he’s evil after all. I could see that too.

I’m not sure about Arya. My ideal ending for her, something that I could see happening is she chooses to leave and Gendry realizes that he’d rather be by her side traveling the world than by himself as a lord. But no matter what, she’s not going to settle down in Storm’s End and have babies. That’s not her. So alone, or with Gendry I do think she leaves Westeros to explore the world.

Cleganebowl obviosuly will happen. The Mountain will die, the Hound will be wounded and Arya will have to kill him. Again, you cannot forshadow that more obviously.

Again this is just my feelings based on just careful watching, trying to piece together the leaks so they are one coherent story. I could be wrong. But I’m usually really good at these things...

And unpopular opinon maybe? But if all of this happens? I actually think it’s a great ending. It’s Lord of the Ringsish but it’s not Disney. I always felt that the two protagonists of ASOIAF were Jon and Dany and their story was the song. One would be the ‘hero’ and one the ‘villain’ but they wouldnt’ occupy those traditional roles and the journey to HOW they became those people and their ending would be very unconventional.

#got leaks #got spoilers

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thirdherrscher · 6 years

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can you tell us more about your mahou shoujo site camp camp au??

WWHWH IM GLAD YOU ASKED NONNIE

it works as either a roleswap or its own branch- though there really isnt much to say if its its own thang. however! one trait both verses have in common is the site is a shady camp that provides magical sticks and helps alleviate trauma/stress(except not really) while the admins are known as counselors. they do have a site that advertises itself to misfortunate children: “whether or not you want to attend our camp, or use your stick, is entirely up to you”

the roleswap follows the canon mss storyline, with some the roles,sticks and emblems altered a bit to better fit certain aspects & dubious content/characters taken out. the motives, the existence of tempest, the king,etc remain just about the same. the kids are around 2-3 yrs older than their canon counterparts and mahou sept takes place 10+ years before the current timeline

the swaps + hcs under the cut cus it gets kinda long [tw for mentions of abuse, suicide and violence, please proceed w care]

NIKKI:

switches with aya

stick is a gun with the ability to teleport her targets, later on upgrades to sharing memories + distributing lifespan

emblem is a flower

lives with her disconnected mom who seems to find a new partner at the end of every week. her father is mostly absent in her life

was severely bullied by sasha,tabii and erin at school

sports a lively facade out of stubbornness

her only escape was taking long walks out in nature

was Very traumatized having believed she murdered tabii with her new stick

was the only one out of the main trio to genuinely think they were all friends

has a big fat crush on max and neil

becomes less vibrant and more protective of her loved ones as her Magical Girl Adventures take a darker turn

MAX:

switches with tsuyuno

stick is a smartphone with the ability to freeze time

emblem is the letter X

lived with a neglectful family until they were killed by a burglar

he felt nothing when they die, but was immensely wounded when he realized theyd been trying to escape without their son

uses his time magic solely for his own advantage. he wont hesitate to fuck over assholes who threaten his image or simply out of spite

hes That One Classmate nobody bothers with but would never mess with

was one of the only people who defended nikki and neil from their bullies

though he made it clear he associates himself with nikki and neil only for their magic, he genuinely began to care for them immensely like the big softie he is

NEIL:

switches with kiyoharu

stick is a ring with the power of telepathy and is able to peek into/take over his targets’ sensory system if he chooses to

emblem is the infinity sign

pushed around for being a typical nerd;got more shit after getting outed as genderfluid

unlike canon, neil actually cares for his dad- even if he does embarrass him quite a lot

when presented with his stick, he laughed at the idea of things like “mahou camp” existing??and thought it was some pathetic scam

surprise surprise, freaked the FUCK out when it turned out the stick worked

he further refused to use his magic after finding out it takes a toll on his physical being

like max, he only befriended the other 2 for his own interests. he does eventually start caring for them despite trying(and failing) to hold them at an emotional arm’s length

developed post-traumatic mutism from witnessing the deaths of his friends; currently uses telepathy to communicate

HARRISON:

switches with rina

has a LOT of stolen sticks stowed away in his top hat. the one he was granted with was a conductor’s baton that explodes its targets

secondary stick is a sword that cuts through any surface

his tertiary stick is a wooden staff that emits electrical discharge

the baton’s emblem is a crescent moon, the sword’s is the letter V and the wooden staff’s is a crown

was the second magical after ered to receive the slaughter note

bought the camp’s lies about tempest in a heartbeat, driven by fear for what was to come & arrogant thoughts of him deserving to live in a new world free of scum

his plan was foiled by max and co after a failed attempt on nikki’s life

he is Very terrified of preston and avoids him at all costs

the trio only protected him from harm for more info regarding tempest

he still has natural magic, which he sometimes uses as an alternative to sticks

he develops a tiny crush on nikki

SASHA:

switches with sarina

her stick is a yo-yo with a string so sharp it slice n dices whatever gets in the way

emblem is a heart

was one of nikki’s bullies,along with tabii & erin

often referred nikki by her full name before they made amends

her accused nikki for “murdering” tabii & grew more hateful than ever when her throat was slashed (by max, actually), leaving a hideous scar as a reminder of the incident

for this “misfortune,” she was granted a stick. really it was because the camp needed a new magical hunter

tried killing nikki and her friends out of vengeance, but slowly her perspective of nikki slowly changed after the latter saved her from getting crushed by a collapsing building

her feelings for nikki went from pure hatred, to mere tolerance, to finally–after a heart-to-heart conversation–geniunely caring for her well being

nikki still hasnt 100% forgiven sasha for all she’s done,which sasha comes to find understandable

PRESTON:

switches with nijimi

stick is a wristband with the power of mind-control

emblem is a star

grew up in a shithole neighborhood, in a shithole household with shitty parents

his parents were so deep in debt with loan sharks,they committed suicide when they realized they couldnt pay up, leaving a Very scared pres to fend for himself

temporarily lived with jen, his teacher and mother figure, and for the longest time, he was frightened to go outside out of fear of running into the same loan sharks

one confrontation by momma bear jen later, pres decided to settle things by wiping clean the memories of his family’s debt from the loan sharks’ minds

preston eventually got his life together & made it big in the theater industry as a child prodigy

he had a horrible relapse when he found jen’s bloody, headless corpse, out of the blue on a very normal day. realizing it was a murder committed by another magical, preston follows the series of murders of similar fashion; bent on finding the killer to avenge jen

put his career on hiatus to properly work with the trio, who he took a genuine liking to until they were busted for lying about harrison’s whereabouts(he still hasnt completely forgiven them for that.) he only agreed to cooperate under one condition: he gets his hands on a certain rotten magic kid after this

he lived with his grandmother since jen’s death

NURF:

switches with asahi

stick is a brass knuckle which enhances his physical abilities

emblem is a cancel sign🚫

was raised in a broken household; his parents would fight constantly, often scaring the poor boy into hiding

he was much closer to his mother and was devastated when she got sentenced to prison. with her out of the picture, mr nurfington began taking his frustrations on nurf more frequently than ever

nurf ran away after mortally wounding (maybe possibly killing) his dad by sheer impulse, spending years on the streets and move out of one shelter after another

he has scars from a combination of his previous home life and life on the streets. hes also blind in one eye

despite walking the path of delinquency, he tries his best to fix his attitude for himself and those around him, especially after he meets his new friends

DOLPH:

DISCLAIMER!! i am using my own revamped version of dolph for this because Fuck Canon

switches with kosame

stick is a carving knife he uses to cut himself, the blood flowing from the wound is used to heal external injuries of others. he is, however, unable to prolong lifespans

emblem is the degree celsius

was the lonely kid in class nobody paid attention to

is childhood friends with ered, but they grew distant as ered became more popular he became convinced she wouldnt associate with the likes of him anymore

was the only person who approached ered kindly when she fell

he became depressed after he was diagnosed with terminal illness, but acts like nothing’s wrong. pretty much lost the will to live when ered allegedly killed herself

he never practiced self-harm before receiving his stick

SPACE KID:

switches with mikari

stick is a flying broomstick

emblem is a sun

had a carefree life with his family with everything he could ask for: happiness, wealth & all the space-centric things he could get his hands on. until they were killed by a deranged murderer on the loose and has lived under his great uncle’s care since

life with buzz wasnt so bad though, he was still relatively happy

hes gets treated as the expendable one by his friends

often lets harrison ride his broom with him

ERED:

switches with kayo

stick is a compact mirror which can hold up to 10 different abilities of magicals she comes in contact with

emblem is a spade

used to be a popular girl and lived with her two dads (jacob; bearded dad & nathaniel; blonde dad) and a younger sibling

her life came crashing down when nathaniel killed 3 teenage boys to avenge the sibling, whose murder had been left without justice. nathaniel was sentenced to prison, jacob lost his job and eventually fell seriously ill & ered, treated lesser than a dog by peers and those she had a hand in picking on, was forced to trudge through this ordeal with no rights to even cast a glare at her bullies

her hair is short because it was cut by bullies

dolph was the only one who tried reconnecting with her. while she appreciates some light in this misery, she still keeps her distance to keep the bullies from targeting him as well

she was the first magical girl to be given the slaughter note; in that she found out dolph and nerris, an old campmate, were also magicals

both dolph and nerris were able to find out ered’s status as a magical girl. the former thru overhearing a conversation with nerris, the latter because she followed ered

ered highkey cant believe she let some geeky kid save her ass time and time again

she faked her and nerris’ deaths to get out of the mahou camp’s radar + keep their loved ones safe

NERRIS:

switches with sakura

stick is a video game controller with the ability to unleash shock waves

emblem is a diamond

had an average life with a loving family before her father’s death; which the police merely brushed it off as suicide. furious, nerris took matters into her own hands to find the killer(another magical most likely) herself

she still adores dnd games

she went to camp with ered and dolph once

she was surprised+confused when ered approached her, wondering why a (former) cool kid would want anything to do with her. she was Disappointed But Not Surprised when she found out it was bc ered was looking for other magical girls

she helped ered a lot through the magical girl fiasco, and they ended up growing closer than mere comrades

along with ered, she formed an alliance with nikki and co in their efforts to dismantle the mahou camp

PIKEMAN:

switches with ni/ochi

stick was a PET bottle that traps oxygen surrounding it

emblem was the roman numeral XIII

was cameron campbell’s nephew

he was sent to a military camp for boys. his fellow campers pushed him around to the breaking point and the mahou camp granted him his magical boy status.

he used his stick to murder those who humiliated him, ruling the camp via fearmongering

he simply vanished off the face of earth one day- some guessed he simply couldnt take military camp anymore, but nobody could truly conclude where he’d gone

the truth is pikeman used his lifespan down to its last drops, his body and stick disintegrating & reborne into the counselor “two”

CAMERON:

switches with detective misumi

bio uncle of pikeman and adoptive uncle to daniel

is a shady fbi agent secretly associated with the mahou camp

only formed the alliance bc he suspected they had something to do with pikeman’s disappearance

has an immense collection of sticks in a secret basement

cam about 14 y/o dan: “ive only known li’l danny for a day and a half and if anything happened i would kill everyone in this room and then myself.“

cam about daniel now: “danny has been my nephew for over a decade and i still would—”

faked his murder of jasper for currently unknown reasons. he seems to have taken the still-alive jasper under his wing for the moment

DAVID:

switches with tsurara/the king (yes, i buy the tsurara=the king theory dont @ me)

stick is a drill with a laser beam twister

emblem is the libra symbol

is best friends with gwen and former childhood friends with jasper

was badly abused by one of his counselors it ruined his love for camp

even after accidentally murdering said counselor and burying the evidence, davey insisted he drop out of camp

the guilt, the trauma, everything was so overwhelming davey began to emotionally break down

pursued a relationship with bonquisha in hopes it’ll dull the pain; he became thoroughly convinced, yes, this is real happiness. he ended up turning down gwens efforts to help him

the truth behind the abusive counselor was leaked, and no one has ever changed their opinion of david so fast. bon left davey in disgust as davey himself got bullied to the point of suicide

because he died so miserably, david was allowed another shot at life- reborn a physical manifestation of his negative feelings, with the desire to wipe out humanity. the “king” was born and brought forth the threat of tempest

GWEN:

switches with hyouka/nana

shares her stick and emblem with david

she used to be a total shut in since her father died in an accident. david at the time was a classmate who’d bring in notes and assignments from class everyday.

gwen was upset when he told her he wouldnt be able to come anymore due to an upcoming summer camp. realizing she enjoyed davey’s company too much, she offered to attend camp with him & theyd been inseparable since

is very protective of david, always down to fuck up anyone who hurts him

when she discovered the truth about david’s counselor, gwen offered to gather money for therapy with his newfound stick.

she and davey temporarily fell out bc davey changed his mind about letting her help him and gwen’s temper got the better of her

she was devastated at witnessing daveys death, and harbors a deep resentment for the camp

she continued to use david’s stick until her lifespan ran out, and was reborn the counselor “seven.”

DANIEL:

switches with alice

stick is a flip phone with the ability to reverse time by one minute

emblem is a knife

his parents were arrested for being dangerous cultists. dan had never known what hell truly was until his peers found out, and was given the humiliating nikcname “son of a cultist”

he HATES anything cult-related, and blames his family for ruining his life

having grown up in a cultish household, some of their twisted tendencies rubbed off him

he attended the same camp as gwen,davey,jasper and jen as a teenager

cameron adopted dan as his nephew out of pity after he bolted from camp in midst of a breakdown

he was initially all up for helping nikki’s gang, behaving kindly and almost like a father-figure to them. he decided to leave the kids alone to take care of a mission gone horribly wrong, believing theyd literally be the death of him if he kept wasting his powers for a bunch of “brats with no survival skills of their own”

JEN:

switches with mikado

stick is a mechanical pencil with the ability to create magic-negating barriers

emblem is the operator symbol ⨂

was practically preston’s adoptive mother. she was always there for him in his time of need, making sure he was okay and nurtured him as if he were her own

similar to daniel’s case, jen’s parents held questionable beliefs. she was also bullied for the same reasons

doesnt mind cracking a satanic joke every now and then despite her past

she was killed by harrison for her stick

JASPER:

switches with isoko

main stick is a set of rollerblades that enhances his speed. it also gives him the ability skate smoothly over uneven surfaces and areas that defy gravity. its emblem is the leo symbol

his secondary stick is a hairdryer that returns the targeted object/person to its original position. the emblem is the letter J

was childhood friends with david. jasper changed when davey “stole” his place as the honorary camper and they officially fell out after jasper tried getting the camp shut down

he still attended the same camp as gwen and david as teenagers

hes really kind of an ass

neither of his sticks were given to him by the mahou camp

went under the alias “J” as he distributed countless sticks to everyday folk

was allegedly killed by detective campbell for his crimes, but in actuality is still alive and well to this day

#thank you for showing interesting in this silly lil au #also im sorry if some of these arent v well written hfsdhgk #some of these might make more sense if u read the manga #especially sept #camp camp #asknico #anon #trash aus

10 notes · View notes

askaquaries · 6 years

Note

Hiya!! I see this new blog appeared!!! So I'm here to ask: what was the conversation you both had that made you guys realize you like each other?

CA: it wwas more a series a convversations really

CA: hey ara uh

CA: has it evver occurred to you that these tomes a military deaths are maybe a bit too detailed

CA: sorta to the extent that they might kill a meowwbeast if dropped on one

CA: it took a lotta time yknoww

AA: ive just had the best thought

AA: you should pen a comprehensive military document about the events of our sgrub session before things got complicated

AA: it is important lore and military history that should not be ignored dont you think

CA: neither a us had come from the best experiences wwith regards to relationships

CA: lotta trust buildin

CA: a course i still got affection for fef in my collapsin and expandin bladder based aquatic vvascular system or wwhatever and a course i still feel like a massivve bulgelord for killin her wway back wwhen but twwo wwrongs dont make a right and twwo rights dont make a left and basically wwhat im sayin is

CA: her method a breakin up wwith me left me feelin kinda used

AA: to be fair you were kind of genocidal at the time

CA: im awware a that im just SAYIN is all

CA: lotta fuckups, thats for sure

CA: but enough about me i feel like evvery time we havve one a these vvaguely unspeakably conciliatorily salacious jams wwe end up talkin about me and frankly im sick a it

CA: not necessarily talkin about myself but about not knowwin shit in return

AA: well now hang on i wouldnt call this conciliatory

CA: im not sayin it is

CA: shit to be completely honest i wwouldnt wwant another moirail for a long time anywway i dont think

CA: and here wwe are back on me spillin my guts again wwhich frankly has left me feelin stupid as all hell

CA: do you like makin me feel stupid ara

CA: do you like wwormin your wwriggly little wway outta bein honest about your feelins is this some kinda kink a yours

AA: i dont know what youre talking about?

AA: i spent enough time without my feelings! why would i choose not to be honest about them when ive finally got them back? :)

CA: her baggage and mine kept us dancin around our redder feelins for a long time and i cant really talk for ara but realizin i wwas in the red throes wwas a matter a hurt unfortunately

CA: not on my end but on hers

AA: do you really want to know eridan?? do you really want to know what it felt like to be young and in pity and confused but happy anyway

AA: to trade paps and kisses on the rare occasions he would come to visit and wed play games and go on excavations and to be thoroughly convinced for the first time in your heart of hearts that there is nothing

AA: nothing that is wrong with you or with anything because you might be dead in ten sweeps but at least you have people like sollux or tavros or terezi or karkat

AA: and maybe the voices of the dead tell you things that terrify you in your sleep and maybe he is tortured by your voice that he cant pick out among the others but its okay its all okay its all 0kay!!!!

AA: do you want to know what it felt like to die

AA: looking at him

AA: do you want to know what it felt like to lose everything and then to desecrate your own memory because you couldnt feel anything

AA: so that by the time you came back you lost yourself in the breaking of the universe because that was easier to understand than what you had lost

AA: i didnt want to be that girl anymore

AA: and i thought that if i never talked about it that it would go away

AA: i thought that if i forgave everyone it would go away and i could be the me id been before but better

AA: but you couldnt let me have that could you

CA: i wwanted to help her but evven more than that i wwanted her to be happy

CA: and i wwanted to givve it to her

CA: happiness i mean

CA: wwhos to say wwhether redder feelins are more selfish than pale ones

CA: ara i nevver wwanted to hurt you

CA: okay wwell maybe i did once upon a time but who doesnt go through a mass murdery kinda phase at least once after pupation

CA: wwhat i wwant to say is im sorry but wwhat im gonna say is that it aint healthy for you to be pentin all this up and actin like it nevver happened

CA: no one likes to hear the truth about themselvves

CA: not evven ara

CA: i dont wwanna pale you ivve said it before and i said it again

CA: but i dont gotta to tell you that wwevve all got our shit to deal wwith and sure maybe i see you a little different noww that youvve trauma vvomited all ovver my hivveblock floor but to be honest you kinda scared me before

CA: bein all fine with dyin and evverything

CA: so its fine noww

CA: isnt it

CA: call it wwhat you wwill

CA: schadenfraude or sadism or maybe if youre actually wwhat they call culturally sensitivve

CA: you could call it pity

CA: you could say pity is wwhats happenin here

#eriara #aradia megido #aradia #eridan ampora #eridan #asks

27 notes · View notes

pixelatedtragedy · 6 years

Note

All the ones for Lydia

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

when choosing lydia’s name it was my fave name

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

after having babies she always feels very insecure about her body but it gets less after a while

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?

her smile

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)

he is the kindest, most caring person she has met and she thinks he is very handsome

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?

a bit in between ig06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

not really

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

she often says to same quotes and charlie finds it so annoying

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?

always forgetting who and what she told already and keeps repeating it lol

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday?

she loves the winter because its so cozy and her favourite holiday are her childerens birthdays :3

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?

feminine11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

she cant handle having to ask someone to do something many times and them not doing this ( *cough* charlie *cough*)

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?

she really loves cooking

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?

she is a light sleeper and wakes up a lot at night, she also always steals the blanket so she and charlie both have their own LOL

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?

she lives with her family

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear.

she cant stand one of her ex-friends who she actually runs into often16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?

a bit of both, she prefers to lay down all day but working out also makes her feel better

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?

yup, and those dreams became real too

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?

she would love to live in a small cozy house in a forrest

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?

she never fights

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?

she really likes a lot of animals but cant have any of them as pets because charlie is allergic21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear?

she is scared of losing charlie or any of their kids

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

she has a tattoo on her upper leg

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved?

she doesnt go to school anymore, but she wasnt the easiest student. she was really good in languages

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?

“the most amazing person ever"

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day?

having a very bad relationship with her dad which caused her not to speak with her parents anymore, she is scared she would have this with one of her kids too.27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it?

it would have probably been in high school, for something stupid probably

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?

she doesnt really have a very great skill that would make her famous tbh LOL

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

she loves to watch disney movies with her kids

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what?

lydia could never do that

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?

probably disney world because she has always wanted to go there

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go?

the attic, as the kids cant get there and charlie never does either

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)

she loveeees ice cream

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go?

she is, but only because she would have to leave people behind, she would want to die in her sleep so she wouldnt have any pain or anything36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?

she doesnt

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?

people who eat with their mouth open

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?

lydia prefers sunny, not too warm days

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?

people think she is muh younger than she is, but she has always looked younger

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

she loves dancing like crazy when she is alone LOL41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?

having kids learnt her to be more patient

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?

her relationship with her parents

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?

she easily is just herself around people, because she wouldnt speak with people who wouldnt accept her

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

it depends on the situation

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

she shows her affection a lot by just saying ‘i love you’ or by kissing or hugging charlie when she feels like it

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along?

she has gotten less outgoing through the years but always used to be the one who is a bit more quiet

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?

she used to be jealous about charlie (or her ex-boyfriends) seeming to close with other girls but not anymore

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

she doesnt have nightmares often

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

she probably wouldnt be the one to confess first lol

5 notes · View notes

m0onbean · 7 years

Text

Movie Dates with ASTRO

this is a long thread!

would probably choose a comedy movie

would buy the largest size of popcorn and accidentally spill some on the way to your seats

you actually die of embarrassment around him

he would laugh at the serious moments in the movie

i kid you not this grown man would very quietly not so quietly murmur "that's what she said"

you wanted to die but it was amusing

would embarrass you by turning around to the kids sitting behind you

"this is my girlfriend (Y/N)"

"MJ what are you doi-"

"isn't she pretty?"

the kids would nod their heads and MJ would smile not before growing serious and suddenly snapping

"she's mine though, understood?!"

poor children would widen their eyes and you would give MJ a >:( look

MJ would give you a ;) look

whenever something remotely funny happened he would look at your face to see your reaction

turns out you kept a straight face the whole movie

the movie wasn't funny

after the movie ended MJ would act clingy and cute

"did you like the movie?"

"hmm it was okay"

he would whine

"you're not satisfied?"

"no if you had fun then i'm satisfied"

"let's movie hop to whatever movie you would like"

"isn't that illegal"

"it's not illegal as long as you don't get caught"

MJ would make sure you had fun by randomly snickering comments in your ear which made you two burst in laughter

throw popcorn at eachother and look away pretending as if nothing happened

annoy the employees by constantly refilling popcorn

end up watching every movie in the theater

you two are probably banned tbh

in the end it doesn’t matter

the funnest time you’ve ever had at the movies

Jinjin

lets you make all the decisions

doesn't care what movie it is

just wants to spend time with you

ends up watching a movie about dogs

jinjin would subconsciously coo "aww" under his breath whenever a dog showed up

so like

during the whole movie

you learned that jinjin loves dogs

he would mutter in your ear

"let's get a dog"

seveRAL times

"how about that breed?"

"what do you think? small or big dog?"

you would just scoff but squeeze his cheeks

"you're so cute"

would hold your hand during the entire film

would randomly tap on your shoulder

"what do you want?"

"can you hold this?"

he would stick his hand in his jacket

his hands pops back up with a finger heart

would look at you proudly

"i'm such a cute boyfriend"

you would roll your eyes but return the heart

"jinjin look here"

you would pretend to look for something in your pockets

"did you forget your wallet? it's ok i paid" he would worriedly ask

"found it!" you would exclaim

sticks your hand back up

BAM! finger heart

he would uncontrollably smile

by the time you two are out of the theaters

guess what

a dog died at the end

jinjin is literally sobbing

you hug him and soothe him

"it's ok jinjin... he's in a better place now"

he cries harder and grips onto you tightly

"snowball didn't deserve that..."

"i understand"

he would be sniffing continuously on the drive home

"babe..."

he takes out his phone and starts typing passionately

"what are you doing?"

"i'm writing a five star review on the movie"

Eunwoo

chose whatever movie you wanted

paid for your ticket although you insisted it was fine

"(Y/N) i'm supposed to be paying you'll make me look bad"

"fine but i'm paying next time"

loves how stubborn you are about it

constantly asking if you want anything

"want some popcorn? or anything else? ice cream? mozzerella sticks? nachos?"

in the theater he would laugh inside at you

because you were like

about to fall asleep

your eyelids were giving up on you

your head kept falling

you tried your best to stay awake but

the

movie

was

boring

he would notice how tired you were

wouldn't say anything but would lift the seat divider up

tucks you inside his humongous winter coat

you would snuggle inside since it was warm

wraps his arms around you

kisses your forehead when he notices you fall asleep

lowkey grateful the date turned out like this

he was never interested in the movie in the first place

your eyebrows would scrunch up suddenly

he would be alarmed

it would look like you're in pain

he would rub your back soothingly

gives you multiple kisses

your expression would wash off your face upon feeling his touch

now you're smiling in your sleep

his heart is aching

he's trying not to fanboy right then and there

he loves you so much

when the movie ends he would nudge your shoulder

"(Y/N) wake up sleeping beast"

when you fully regain conscious you would be embarrased

"u-uh sorry if I ruined the date"

he would laugh

because

you made the date better than he would even imagine

"let's do this more"

he would say and wink

you die out of humiliation

Moonbin

moonbin would buy the whole food shop

actually

"hi can i get two large sodas, large buttered popcorn, an ice cream bar, oh do you guys have chicken nuggets? yeah? i'll take that 2 lmfaO. no wtf im not done. some mozzarella sticks, chicken tenders- what do you mean the bill is over $50? scuse me im an idol"

s m h

during the movies you two would just be talking the whole time

honestly what was the point of going if you two were just gonna have nice conversation

everybody looking at u 2 because

on moonbin's lap are the chicken tenders, mozzarella sticks, and drinks

on your lap would be the chicken nuggets, and whatever tf he ordered

a F E A S T

everyone lowkey hates u guys

the chicken nuggets smelled good

and u two were conversing so casually

a kid actually kicked your guys' seat

"can u shut up i can't hear"

"scuse me i'm an idol"

"u dont look like one"

you had to restrain this GROWN man from fighting some 10 year old

don't worry about leftovers

legend says that moonbin inhales the food

you two would be having a pick up line war

"hey baby. tie your shoelaces i dont want u falling for anybody else"

"are you a laptop? bc you can make my lap warm."

"wtf was that dirty"

"no omg i swear i didnt mean it like that"

"lets break up"

a forceful kick to moonbin's chair

"SHUT THE F-"

you 2 were kicked out

what gives

the food wasnt that gr8 anyways

"its the theater's fault. shouldve put more interesting movies so we wouldnt chatter so much"

"yeah" you groaned "long movies are boring anyways"

"you know what else is lon-"

legend says that moonbin still flinches whenever you slightly raise your foot

Rocky

tHIS BOI

very quiet around people

but around you??

hohohohoho

WHO BROUGHT A MONKEY IN THIS THEATER

he's actually jumping around on his toes

"omg i'm so excite!!"

"minhyuk can u calm down"

"but the new lego movie came out and i'm really excited bc my fav character was the unicorn cat girl bc she's really nice and stuff but when shes angry shes ready to fite and i think that represents me bc u kno how im all fluffy and stuff when we first meet but like if somebody messes with me or you or anybody i am friends with they get beat up even tho im smol"

"...we're not even watching the new lego movie."

THIS KID WOULD JUST WALK UP TO THE MANAGER AND ASK FOR AN EXCHANGE OF TICKETS

"I THOUGHT WE WERE WATCHING THE NEW LEGO MOVIE WTF (Y/N)"

"YOU SAID I COULD CHOOSE"

"BUT WE'RE A TELEPATHIC COUPLE. I SENT U A MESSAGE TO CHOOSE THE NEW LEGO MOVIE."

you would massage your temples in frustration

angry -> happy when the manager lets him exchange it

in the theaters he'd be so happy

"u can be the wyldstyle to my emmet"

"mkay."

he would pout

"babe i put a lot of thinking into that pickup line so i really dont appreciate it when you start doing this to me because like i put so much in this relationshi-"

u would stuff popcorn in his mouth so he can shut up

his eyes would intently follow the movie

hes so into it!!

would laugh a little too loudly at the jokes

scrunches up face when the bad guy does something bad

widen eyes at intense scenes

when unikitty popped up on the screen

tHIS BOI

"OMG UNIKITTY!" he would scream

rips open his jacket and reveals a unikitty shirt

whole theater glaring at him

you are actually hiding in your sweater

"pls kill me"

after the movie

"minhyuk this relationship isnt working"

"wdym lol"

"you're a disgrace to me"

"huh"

"uR LIKE IN COLLEGE AND YOU'RE WEARING A UNIKITTY SHIRT TO THE MOVIES."

"i only wear my idol's merch <3"

u would sigh

he would put his jacket back on and hug u

"sry babe next time ill get a shirt with YOUR face on it"

"wow thanks"

"mhm np"

Sanha

"w-why'd u choose a horror movie"

you had to drag this tall baby in the theaters

"i don't want to..." he would whine

"please sanha"

you would perform your aegyo on him

shooting him finger hearts and comfort

"sanha u r a man u can do this"

upon hearing he's a man he'd be like

"oK i can do this i'm a man"

clinging onto your arm during the whole movie

would close his eyes and bury his face in your arm

"tell me when its over"

you would pet his floof hair

"its ok sanha, you're my brave knight arent you?"

he immediately recomposes himself and sits up straight

"yes. your majesty i will save u"

few minutes in and he gave up

is actually hugging you full on

not even watching the movie

"sanha... the movie's done now"

after u two are out the theaters

"THAT WAS AN EASY MOVIE I CAN WATCH ANYTHING NOW"

proud of himself

it was cute but

"really? wanna watch the sequel?"

sanha would loudly gulp

"um."

when he would drop you off at your house

he would be stalling time

"sanha you can go now"

"u-uh..."

"r u scared lol"

"lolololol hahahah wdym"

ends up staying the night at your place

cuddling with you the entire night

he would sort of flinch in his sleep

or his body would jump suddenly

nightmare??

u would kiss his forehead and wake him up

"are you ok?"

he would stare at you

and

HE WOULD PERFORM THE "I DREAMED OF A GHOST" AEGYO

"pls go back to sleep and never wake up"

359 notes · View notes

jobone123 · 4 years

Text

The day Miami n majority islanders without a boat GAVE UP BIRTHRIGHT to any downtown I WAS A SAT CITY WWW Orphan THAT DAY THE WORLD OPENED TO EVERYONE but the boat birthright was part of not the only reason I won EVERYTIME I COME HOME TO BATTLE I just sat on my beach back yard N CRIED OVER MY TROPHY for running more then ice EVERY SUNRISE HOUSE I WENT TO AFTER YEARS OF BATTLE my boat was there

Besides as of right now THE SHIP is worth more then any build or club or event In Miami

You can take my water but not my ship

If I lost the boat right today I would still of won TOM BRADY kiss the rings HONESTLY AFTER EVERY BATTLE I got rid of the old ship AND GOT A NEW YACHT #trophy

If I were to retire today in this city I WOULD STILL BE SURROUNDED BY YACHTS ship yard DUH

But quite honestly I don’t need a boat from Miami WE DROVE HOME ON A YACHT I BOUGHT IN ITALY

Anyways it’s not about a yacht but birthright IM NOT ANGRY TO BE BORN WITH BOATS birthright is the line

I will murder you sat

I really n technically don’t need a boat to keep winning BUT THIS ISNT MY ONLY HOUSE WITH THE SAME WATER I DRIVE THE BOAT TO it sort of came with the house BUT I DO NEED THE HOUSE TO KEEP WINNING ice offered to build my own steal tower TO TRADE Awe they wanted to keep me! So I said what about my other tower WINK 😉 AND WE ALL LAUGHED

I guess fifteen years of winning the world NEW BOATS ALL THE TIME I could win a few national s just not mentioning the boat DOES TOM BRADY EVERY SHUT UP ABOUT HIS SIX CHAMPIONSHIPS no NO

Like one time we were on the boat AND BAGINA TOOK OFF HER TOP N THREW IT INTO THE WATER didn’t pack another top LMAO

#report You know a boat saved my life in ice more then once WERE GOING TO KILL YOU HE SAID N I SAID NO I HAVE A BOAT n he let me go THOUGHT I WAS A SAT TECH lmao

We were on top of this mountain n some people had to die I SAID I CANT DIE I have a boat AND THEY LET ME GO

Ever since Florida gave up birthright N FLORIDA WENT OUT OF BUISNESS I started working for the states SUNRISES www SATELLITE CITY any downtown ANY HOUSE I didn’t want to give up birthright but after Florida lost the BUISNESS birthright was done n life got harder BECAUSE MIAMI WOULDNT LET GO Florida let go BUT MIAMI HAS CAUSED SUNRISE FLORIDA MORE DAMAGE THEN ICE to Jayson they took control of Jaysons BUISNESS n put it out of BUISNESS like a blood stain on a white dress they would follow me n ruin one sunrise BUISNESS deal after another

Miami took a possessive role over sunrise Florida Jayson A MIAMI PROPERTY OF SUNRISE JAYSON but Tampa day no he’s www n Orlando said no he’s satellite city N ALL US CITYS COMBINED AS ONE ATLANTA OR AMERICA what I did for sunrise I DID FOR NEVADA OR ENGLAND OR HAWAII stimulus checks was sunrise s doing not just JAYSON America ate because SUNRISES WORKED TOGETHER

www

Miami only wants to control my sex Life BUT IMA KILL EVERY BLACK PERSONS IN THIS CITY for freedom

Miami Florida can’t shit without sunrises approval

Miami wants to play boss of sunrise Florida STATE VS CITY ARGUMENT

Florida says if it weren’t for Jayson s sex life wives union MIAMI WOULDNT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH SUNRISE in fact Miami has begun using sunrise for Jayson

Miami is on borrowed time when it comes to Jayson n sunrise MIAMI IS IN DEBT N SO IS FLORIDA one plane

The day sunrise Miami Florida gave up birthright THEY LOST JAYSON 50% of the new residents don’t even know Jayson SATELLITE CITY birthright prevented privacy breech FLORIDA CANT PICK N CHOOSE WHICH OUTSIDER VS GUEST keeps there privacy IF I STILL HAD BIRTRIGHT the databreach n lynching n crowd strike Jayson wouldn’t be possible ON JAYSON but instead of Florida owning Florida now America n the world owns Florida

Sat city www

We’re done

#report sat bae found me #report Downtown fake pOwEr Get off my dick BLOB BLOB BLACK BLOB BLOB BLACK blob blob black BLAH blob black bllob black black BLAH BLAH BLACK BLAH BLAH BLACK blah blah black blah blah blah black BLAH BLAH BLAH BLACK BLAH BLAH BLACK blah blah blah black blah blah blah black blah blah blah blob blah blah blah black BLAH BLAH BLACK BLAH BLAH BLACK DOWNTOWN BLAH BLAH BLACK

We’re done

Sunrise Florida can talk without sunrises permission QUID PRO CO

We’re done

Florida isn’t even a boss in the world FLORIDA S JUST A TOURIST CITY seasonal job SUNRISE JAYSON IS A BOSS N FOREVER

Jayson fathered the world over time NO MAN HAS EVER CREATED AS MUCH HATE AS JAYSON jobs n success IF MONEY IS WOMEN THEN JAYSON IS WWW all because every girl had a baby N HE COULDNT I fathered all of you

You will never know the amount of food I sacrificed WORTH MORE THEN THE WOMEN

We’re done

I have men that sarogate their wives because of me I HAVE WOMEN FANS THAT HAVE MY BABIES it’s in the cowardly way you striped my wife’s baby from her IMA HURT N KILL YOU ALL

It’s in the women you raped n killed in front of me

It’s in the innocent men you killed in front of me

I FOUND HIGHER CALLING when life doesn’t make sense MANS WORLD we have to think of other reasons OTHER PURPOSES other values THEN I DIE I WON we have too look past a innocent world of beaten n murdered victims TO A HIGHER UNDERSTANDING then man mans world is lifeless I FOUND GREATER PURPOSE I found my own satellite I FOUND MY OWN PLANE I found my own network I FOUND A DEAD SUNRISE FOR ATTACKING MY FAMILY IN FRONT OF ME for a lesser then death reason FAKE FORT OR LIEING SAT TECH mans world is lifeless so I found myself looking for answers in her world A HIGHER CALLING a higher reason ANOTHER UNDERSTANDING TO MANS WORLD she committed suicide HES NOT MAKING SENSE WHEN IT COMES TO LIFE it’s a lifeless to live by a mans rule SO I MADE MY OWN REASONS N UNDERSTANDING one plane allowed me to change the world judgement of sat when I was gone I DIDNT KILL SAT TECH BAE she committed suicide

When suicide makes more sense then dieing MANS WORLD KEEP IT

We’re done

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tumblunni · 7 years

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Okay, kinda TMI talk here about period problems and Bunni Being Worried And Dysphoric, blablabla I’m just having a huge stupid panic moment right now cos I read some internet medical articles and LIKE USUAL I’m being all ‘oh god i probably have the worst case scenario disease on the list, I’m gonna fuckin die’ even though I literally have never been right about that even ONCE when I’ve done it. Still, it sucks having a stupid anxiety disorder cos you can just feel your body throwing you into panic attack mode even as you are rationally saying to yourself that this worrying thing has a 0% chance of happening. Its impossible to just choose to not be afraid of something... *sigh*... SO YEAH ANYWAY UMM Don’t want to worry anyone, I’m totally gonna be fine and I’m just being irrational mess about something that’s probably gonna be a super easy solution once I see the doctor. I’ll just book an appointment tomorrow or later this week, no biggie. And I’ll write all this stuff down so I can avoid freaking out and crying over how embarassing Vagina Health is when you’re trying to ask your cis male doctor about it and you’re a trans person who just wants to stab themself whenever they think about this goddamn Wrong Organ. like seriously, the biggest comfort I am using right now to come down from this panic attack is ‘hey, if it IS a big horrible cancer tumour, then at least it means they cant stop me from getting a hysterectomy now!’ :P so umm anyway that was probably too TMI already but I’ll put the more TMI stuff under the cut

OKAY! SO! I’ve suffered from REALLY HORRIBLY BAD periods for like.. ever They usually had an issue of being way too short but also WAY TOO POWERFUL. I’d have just a one day absolute burning pain blast where I would literally be unable to walk. LITERALLY BE UNABLE TO WALK! Like, I COULD NOT STAND that my dad was just telling me ‘;you’re lying, you’re exaggerating, its just cramps’ when the pain WASNT EVEN THE GODDAMN CRAMPS. I got fucking stabbing pain in my lower back for no damn reason, was inexplicably constipated and throwing up, got a huge hot-and-cold-flushes fever, complete muscle weakness in my legs which made them fucking shut down, and like.. LABOR SYMPTOMS. Its this weird horrible downward pressure pain in my pelvis and I was just a goddamn kid so i was like.. ‘i cant even tell if this is part of the constipation’, i would be spending five hours on the toilet desperately trying to shit out a shit that didn’t exist, as my body spasmed itself to death forcibly ejecting out way more blood than I ever thought I even had. I It took me so long to find out that that wasnt normal for a period?? That this didnt happen to everyone???? And cos its SO GROSS AND EMBARASSING to talk about these particular symptoms, I didnt tell anyone. Even when i finally was able to get some pain medication from the doctor, I just mentioned the abnormal amount of bleeding and pain, not the weird ‘wtf my bowels just stopped working as if my ovaries are constantly punching them for 24 hours’ part. Seriously just fuckin.. so degrading and disgusting.

And i was a fuckin 13 year old kid, this just abruptly started in my second year of having a period, and my dad was a sick fucker who ‘didnt believe in doctors’ and didnt believe i was telling the truth about my symptoms. So I had to live FROM 13 TO 17 without EVEN KNOWING THAT ASPIRIN AND IBUPROFEN EXISTED! i was going through all of this without even the basic pain medication most people have for normal periods! Once monthly I would BEG GOD TO LET ME DIE Seriously i would spend THE WHOLE 24 HOURS screaming in horrible pain on the floor that gradually got worse until I finally couldnt move my legs and passed out from exhaustion. And all i could do was hope that I’d get weaker each month and pass out faster, cos seriously being able to sleep through it was THE BIGGEST BLESSING EVER like DEAR GOD like ONCE I was able to get to sleep during the point where it was milder pain and then when I woke up it was already over and AAAAAAHHHHH I got to go a full two months without feeling that death madness again and seriously fuckin.. how the fuck could my dad look at this small child screaming and vomiting and sweating like I was in the sahara and gushing blood from every oriface cos i fuckin VOMITED SO HARD I VOMITED BLOOD and somehow still think I was just ‘making it up’

god one of my worst memories was how I had this huge horrible period death attack in the middle of school and my poor teacher was trying to comfort me and trying to call my dad to pick me up, and he just Did Not Give A Shit so the teacher tried to drive me home himself and just.. god I was so happy even as I was dying just cos I got to meet ONE PERSON who had sympathy for me and even actually said ‘hey you should see a doctor’. And all i gave him in return was throwing up in a trash bin for an hour in the back of his car, and then he had to meet my awful father and have a door slammed in his face. And then as soon as he got me inside the house dad just hit me and screamed at me for ‘embarassing him’ and ‘ditching school’ and man the only good side effect of being Fucking Dead On The Floor Already is that I did not feel a thing of it and barely even managed to hear a word he said. I think he just gave up cos seriously i wasnt even fuckin moving, i guess the fun goes out of beating your kid when they’re too fuckin stoned on their own vomit fumes to even be able to cry anymore. Oh and my other Even More Worse memory was when I missed the chance to see Howl’s Moving Castle cos of this shit. I saw like the first twenty minutes of it before my period hit while I was in the middle of the theater and then i had to spend three hours crying and puking and bleeding and laying on the floor in a pool of my own vomit in a cinema bathroom while my dad screamed at me as if i was purposely faking just to embarass him. Like seriously dude?? BASIC LOGIC, PLEASE! he was CONSTANTLY accusing me of doing really horrible manipulative things all the time, as some sort of twisted excuse to hit me and pretend i was an evil fucker causing every problem in his life so he didnt have to feel guilty about doing it. And it NEVER MADE ANY GODDAMN SENSE! Even if i WAS an evil monster, what would that evil monster’s MOTIVE be? Why would i constantly do these evil things that serve no purpose except to get myself half killed by my dad? Why would I ruin a cinema trip that I asked to go to, to see a movie I waited all year to see??? And the most vivid disgusting part of it all was when he walked in and saw me like that and I LITERALLY ASKED TO DIE, and he LITERALLY LAUGHED. I begged him to call a doctor, he laughed and said I was exaggerating. I begged him to call an AMBULANCE, he laughed harder. I told him to his face that I wanted to kill myself just to make the pain stop, and he acted as if it was the funniest thing he ever heard, turned around and left and watched another movie. The poor cinema staff were left taking care of me while he ignored me, he wouldnt even take me home, he was just like... waiting til he finally got bored enough to do it. His biggest concern was ‘eww you made me walk into the girls’s bathroom’... I’m never gonna be able to stop remembering that, I’m never gonna be able to deny how absolutely certain I was that I’d rather end my life right there than live this nightmare for another month and another month for like fuckin 30 or 50 years. God I wanted to kill myself A LOT when i was with my dad, but this one was the worst cos for all I knew I’d be stuck with this pain forever even if I managed to escape him. I was so fucking ignorant! I didnt even know there was easy to acquire pain medication you could buy in any supermarket across the world! I mean, I still have the problem of my period being more severe than expected and all, but the meds at least made it NON SUICIDAL LEVELS OF PAIN. And god I once wanted to kill myself as a young child because I didnt know those existed. And I didnt know that transgender people existed or that there were words to put to my other feelings of disgust about having a period. I may still be depressed in a lot of ways, but I’m living a way better life now!

So umm yeah anyway my current worry today is because my period hasn’t ended for like 2 or 3 months now. I can’t even pinpoint the exact time it happened, cos it started with just light spotting and my period coming a few days late every month for like a year? and then it would last longer, and sometimes I’d get a small bit of bleeding suddenly starting up five days later and ending within a few hours. I sorta didnt think much of any of these symptoms and i cant nail down exactly when it just increased so much that it became this noticeably constant. And its REALLY weird for me, cos also all this stuff came along with my period not hurting as much?? And now for the last month i haven’t felt any pain at all, so I cant even tell which part of all this bleeding was the actual period. And I’m bleeding way less than usual, its just... constant. Its not even enough to be a big problem so I didnt wanna tell anyone and be a bother, its not like I’m losing blood enough to get light headed, its just annoying having so many pairs of underwear ruined and feeling more dysphoric 24/7. And it makes me pretty anxious cos I didnt know what was causing this and whether it was a symptom of some bigger problem- like, it doesnt hurt but maybe its a sign i have fuckin death doom cancer or something and its suddenly gonna start hurting any second now???

So yeah, today I finally stopped being anxious and decided I’m gonna call a doctor next week, and did some internet research to see if this is serious enough to really call the doctor. And cos I’m dumb I panicked thinking of the worst case scenario, but also doing that research kinda cheered me up cos now at least I know an explanation for why the symptoms seemingly got worse on random days, and like.. this isnt an impossible thing. Cos seriously, yeah, raised in a household with No Doctors Ever. i dont know very much about medical health, when this first started happening i freaked out cos i had NEVER HEARD of bleeding outside the regular monthly cycle and from all I knew it was PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE and I’m PROBABLY DYING xD But no, apparantly spotting and mistimed periods and going one or two weeks of constant bleeding are all completely natural variances that just happen, and you dont even need to call a doctor for that. I just need to call a doctor cos its been happening a bit more often than that, they say up to a month is a normal amount. And apparantly the vast, VAST majority of conditions that cause constant period are not remotely life threatening, the worst possible scenario is becoming infertile or just.. having to continue experiencing mildly annoying bleeding a lot. Apparantly a lot of people choose to not have an operation cos they don’t wanna lose the ability to have children, but fuck I’ve been hoping to lose that thing FOREVER, jesus christ! damn docs won’t let you have a hysterectomy ‘without reason’, like seriously why is ‘i dont want to have children’ not a reason?? and why is ‘i have never had sex and never will have sex’ not a reason and also why is ‘i’m nonbinary transgender and would like this surgery even though i don’t want genital surgery’ not an option seriously MAN PLEASE can I at least go on hormones doc. seriously everyone is being all ‘well treating your ptsd and depression is a bigger priority right now’ and i mean ITS NOT LIKE THERE’S A REAL DEADLINE FOR WHEN THAT’S GONNA END and DYSPHORIA KINDA DOESNT MAKE IT ANY EASIER gahhhh god i really REALLY hope they let me have a hysterectomy i am gonna be SO DISSAPPOINTED now if it turns out this ovary failure is not the particular sort of ovary failure that requires removal of ovaries. plz kill them. pliz mr docter. they haf plagued my lyfe 4 too longe. XD god, sorry, like I said I’m just really dysphoric talking about Vagina Health Stuff so i’m getting a bit irrational and ranty. Its just like that ‘please can i skip the middle man and get to the end of the transition already’ feeling. I know it would be stupid to not listen to my doctor’s advice on the subject. Tho I do kinda feel like everyone is just patronizing me and doenst think that nonbinary really exists, i’m still trying to get my support worker to stop calling me a girl... MAN IM GOING OFFTOPIC TO A WHOLE OTHER ANXIETY HERE

Anyway! Researching into possible causes of it! It’s entirely possible i may have Adenomyosis, which would ironically mean I have an excess of estrogen in my system and am like.. Too Female To Female. I’m gonna fuckin cry if its this, that’s like the biggest fuckin sign that your sex doesn’t have to align with your gender! or lol maybe god is trying to compensate, i just imagine its like throwing too much sugar into a cake to try and make up for it tasting like shit. sorry dude, woman machine broke. BUT I don’t seem to have like a huge amount of symptoms for that one, aside from just the excess bleeding outside of my cycle. So I’m leaning more towards the ones that also include back pain and uhh.. gross bowel issues of embarassingness. It might be that I was always showing preemptive signs of one of these conditions!

One other that it could possibly be is Endometriesis which is a really fuckin cool sounding word but impossible to spell, lol. Apparantly its this TERRIFYING CONCEPT where your uterus is like.. a tumour in your gut. For whatever reason there’s uterine tissue growing in your intestines, stomach or other butt related tubes. I dont wanna read more about it cos its already making me terrified and anxious, so I dont even know HOW exactly that works. I mean is it like there’s a big ol hole stabbing through your organs connecting two unconnected things together?? Cos if so, I cant understand why its saying that its an easy operation and a never fatal condition! So I’m assuming maybe its more like everything is still separate but like.. the composure of the cells in your intestines is wrong? There’s like a tiny vestigal lump of uterine lining tissue in your stomach lining instead? i guess maybe they’re somehow vaguely related, so like.. if the human body begins from stem cells that can grow into any other cell to make a full human, it would seem entirely plausable that rather similar organs or skin thingies could accidentally form all vice versa. i guess thats also the reason for mutations like people growing an extra finger? I had a friend who had two extra fingers at birth, actually! I felt really sad when she told me about it, it was like years after we met that she felt comfortable enough to tell me about where her hand scars came from. i just remember i felt SO CONFUSED why she’d even think that like.. she had to be super certain i was a good person who wouldnt make fun of her. Why on earth would you mock someone for something like that?? How many other people must have treated her like shit if she feels this ashamed of her own hands?? And I felt really sad that she had them amputated too, I just find it a bit disturbing and surreal that there’s this societal thing of giving extensive surgery to very young children to ‘correct’ something that’s completely harmless just because it ‘looks wrong’. i’ve read stories about stuff like a child having like a split arm, an extra arm attatched at the elbow. And that particular operation to ‘correct’ it literally made the kid lose all ability to use both arms, just so they could have one ‘normal’ looking nonfunctional one. Thats messed up! Its EVEN WORSE that this happens the most commonly with intersex conditions, its invasive GENITAL surgery on newborn infants and even assigning them a random gender based on whichever form of genitals was easiest to ‘recreate’ with plastic surgery. These poor kids dont even get to know about what happened to them until they grow up and uncover this horrifying pandora’s box of medical files...

Oh, and speaking of intersex conditions, another possibility is that I might have PCOS, which is like being intersex in hormones but not outer genetalia. But I’m not sure about it cos I don’t have a lot of the more visible symptoms of it, aside from adult acne and ‘weight gain' which is.. well im pretty damn sure I gained this weight the normal way instead XD It also says that unusual hair growth might be a symptom, but it doesnt seem I have it in any of the places that’re common for the disease. I’ve had a weird thing of suddenly gaining light spots of hair on my belly and neck in the past few years. Its weird cos it really is just spots for the neck, its only growing in the right side in a little circle. i dunno what’s up with that! It sucks cos I really would like to be able to grow proper facial hair, I’m only able to do a very spotty mustache that just makes me look even more like a woman I think. i just look like an ugly woman, I feel like everyone can instantly tell I’m DFAB and they’re just laughing at me for this one failed attempt to look masculine. Also it fuckin sucks being overweight cos binders don’t work as well! They’ve gotta be wider to fit around a bigger body of course, but that means its hard to find the right size that’re be tight where it counts withough being tight on the shoulders. I think my current one is too baggy, I can’t stand even looking like a normal dude of my weight level, i cant stand even having regular fat guy ‘moobs’. I WANNA DESTROY THEM ENTIRELY!! Also, incidentally, I’m kinda terrified the most of being diagnosed with PCOS just cos it’d make my dysphoria worse. It’d kinda make me worry that maybe my identity is invalid and I only feel this way cos I have this hormone problem, and I’d probably refuse to take any treatment just in case it somehow cures my transness :P

The one that currently seems most likely is ‘uterine fibroids’. Apparantly its a non cancerous form of tumour that’s so small that its not remotely damaging, and surgery is very easy and non scary. The problem is just that you have so many of these small things slowly stacking up over the years, and being hard to spot until its already gotten bad. Plus even a small thing can be very painful when its in a very sensitive organ. I’m thinking its probably this cos they mention specifically lower back pain and constipation/other bowel problems. The endometrisis one would also explain the constipation during periods, but this one has a wider range of very specific symptoms that all seem to match.

Anyway, writing this up has helped distract me so I can calm down a little and wrap my head around all this. I just hope I can have enough courage to talk to the doctor about it and hopefully find out what it actually is. Oh, and a random tip I learned! Eating too much sugar increases menstrual bleeding! That was what was confusing me about my symptoms seeming to worsen out of nowhere on random days. I was super worried!! I guess the change is just more noticeable than it would be on my regular period, cos this one is lasting so long. I tested this out today by chugging one of the super grand milkshakes from that cool midnight milkshake takeaway shop, and I started getting the big ol scary clotty giant bleed within two hours. Waited a while til it stopped, drank another sugary drink, happened again! Definate correlation! I’m kinda relieved cos this definately proves it’s a period related problem, I’m not bleeding from like an exploded organ or something. This is definately specifically the ol menstrual blood, and I dont have some horrifying sudden septic wound in my vag out of nowhere. Tho seriously i dunno why I was worrying that cos its not like I’ve ever had sex, where would a wound even come from?? I guess I was just going nuts back when I was all uneducated and assumed it was Literally Impossible to have a period that lasts too long. Mannnn talking about this is SO GROSS I’m like cringing into the ninth dimension just from saying the word vag... Anyway now I’m actually feeling a bit lightheaded from the Even More So Than Before heavy bleeding, it probably wasnt a smart idea to test out the sugar thing twice in one day. Now I’m bleeding as much as I usually do on my regular period, which is probably not good cos I’ve already been losing a small amount of blood everyday. Apparantly carrots have a vitamin that helps decrease menstrual bleeding, but its late evening now and all the supermarkets are shut :P SOMEONE BEAM CARROTS INTO MY HOME, AAAAA lol i just need to calm down and get out of this panic attack, its probably just this in combination with the blood loss thats giving me lightheadedness. and then it makes me worry even more about the blood loss and enter an eternal death spiral of anxiety yet again... GAHH I HATE YOU DYSPHORIA DAY I WILL TALK TO THE DOCTOR AND SO HELP ME GOD I REALLY WISH THIS LEADS TO A HYSTERECTOMY seriously lol every time I’m doubting if I’m ‘really trans enough’ i should look back on this conversation where i’m wishing my uterus disease is the worst possible option just so i can get rid of the damn uterus.. ANYWAY BUNNI IS GONNA GO TRY AND CALM DOWN NOW COS I CANT CALL THE DOCTOR TIL TOMORROW ANYWAY

#gahhhh anxiety #anxiety and gross embarassing medical problems #and dysphoria #and apparantly carrots #carrots somehow control your uterus #al these years and ive never known to eat more carrots on the monthly time...

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