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kzpearce · 1 year

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A LOST KID CALLED YOUR BOYFRIEND “ DADDY ” !! (PART TWO)

ft. zhongli, xiao, kaeya, baizhu, itto, albedo, cyno, dainsleif.

author's note. here they are as promised!! they're clean on this part! still gender neutral reader (i tried to keep it as much as possible.) i want to thank everyone of you for more than 2k notes on my first half THAT REALLY BLEW UP!! i hoped everything they want were included here! i wouldn't be making part three anymore sadly ;( I LOVE YOU ALLLLLL MWAAAAH

just in case you want to see the part one!

– zhongli

when the child hugged him, his eyes widened. “..dear, i promise you, this is not my child—” he said, wanting to make things clear up for you so that you won’t overthink.

“hey, zhongli,” you rested your palm on his cheeks to make him look up to you. “it’s okay. i know that and i trust you, okay?”

zhongli smiled. this is one of the main reasons why he loves you. you’re so understanding and seem to be so perfect for him, as if he doesn’t deserve you. zhongli kissed you on your lips despite the child looking at the two of you.

“i love you,” he said.

“i love you more.” you smiled. “now we go find the child’s parents, okay?”

– xiao

xiao’s jaw dropped when the little girl hugged him tightly with a cute smile carved on her lips.

“oh? i thought you don’t like mortals?” you jokingly made your tone serious. “i didn’t know that your dislikes with mortals would make you come inside someone else’s womb?”

“b–but i also have a clear memory and i haven’t done whatever you’re saying—come inside someone else’s womb.” he defended himself, still quite flustered because he got somewhat overwhelmed.

you giggled. “i’m joking, xiao. but you haven’t had…” your mouth mouthed sex, trying to control your language in front of the kid. “with someone..?” you whispered.

“shut it, (y/n).” his face reddened, and you proceeded laughing at him yet found him adorable.

– kaeya

“you–” you tilted your head in confusion. you knew kaeya loved you so much, and he proved it to you that you’re his everything. let’s say you were having trust issues (just quite) when you saw the little girl hugging him tightly.

“there is no actual way that she’s your daughter.” you continued your sentence.

“she is,” kaeya said, looking at the cute little girl. “in fact, she’s my third daughter.”

you also knew that kaeya was a man who tells RIDICULOUS jokes. you glared at him—not just glared—death glare would fit nicely.

“i’m joking, darling.” he kissed the side of your forehead. “you know i couldn’t do that. i love you.”

your lips curved into a smile. you’re very down bad to him, and it’s making you insane.

– baizhu

“dear,” he looked at you sadly, afraid that you might get clouded with your emotions, and you would misunderstand it. “it’s not what you think—”

you smiled, making baizhu’s stomach drop. “i know, i know.” you kissed his head to assure him that you wouldn’t think anything differently.

“i want you to explain this, though..” you added, slightly with a frown.

“i’ve never experienced this until now,” he sighed. “this little girl must be lost and i might look like her dad.”

you smiled. “okay. we’ll look for her parents together.”

his facial expression softened at your retort. you had no idea how much baizhu felt you’re an angel coming from the heavens. he kissed you on your forehead. “alright. i love you.”

– itto

“eh—” his face reddened when the little girl clinged to him. “d-do i look like a father—?”

you shrugged, trying not to laugh.

“are you mad?” he asked. itto didn’t want to show his face. it hinted at a slight terrified look. he didn’t want to lose you.

you shrugged again, refusing to reply.

“t—this is not mine! i—i swear!” he stammered. the panic in his face started to be visible. “i—i don’t even remember liking someone else…”

“i was just joking. of course i trust you.” you laughed, kissing his cheek. he blinked rapidly as his face became redder and redder.

oh, he looked so cute.

– albedo

“whose child is this?” albedo asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

you blinked. “shouldn't i be the one asking? the little girl called you her daddy.”

albedo shrugged. “don’t remember having sexual intercourse with someone else.”

you sighed. you were kinda expecting albedo to give you slight affection just to prove that he wouldn’t do anything like this with someone else, and he only liked you. well… this is albedo for you.

“okay.” you slightly frowned. “let’s find her parents.”

albedo looked at you, inserted you with a soft smile. “i love you. i hope that clears your mind.”

albedo also knew how to read someone else’s mind.

– cyno

cyno wasn’t hugging the girl back.

“why are you ignoring her?” you asked.

“not my child.” he deadpanned.

“give her affection, you silly.” you laughed.

“i ain’t going to do something that would make you mad.” he declared. “i love you but you’re kinda hard to please. it’s hard to apologize to you when you’re mad or disappointed.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. you hugged cyno from the back and kissed his cheek. “i love you too. i’m not going mad, baby.”

cyno smiled, but he couldn’t help but sigh after. “alright.”

– dainsleif

"too bad. if this is our little girl, she would definitely be spoiled." he sneered, kissing your cheek.

this what made you love him. he's so perfect. you love him and how he makes you calm down. you enjoyed his kiss with a smile, shutting his eyes.

"you want babies?" you teased.

"as long as they're ours, my love."

you smiled sweetly, kissing him on his lips. "find her parents. i'll stay here to buy the stuff you need."

"okay, love you." he smiled. dainsleif whispered something to the little girl that made the two of them wave at you as they disappeared to your sight.

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cyberghost-scout · 1 year

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Goddess AU

The Failed Conspiracy: Murder of the Justice God

Shared au with @kaonsilenthappenings

Now, look here cause this is akin to much Greek Myth. There will be drama among the Gods, and few are unhappy with the status quo. After defeating the God of Chaos, many were okay with the new order, but others were not. Many of those not-happy-campers realized too late that their original roles were reduced, turned into minor, or stayed the same. So these usurpers planned a coupe to "change management." Everything is in place except for a few hitches to their perfectly crafted plot: Ghostwire and Sparkcase.

Despite Ghostwire being a black sheep, she has been doing a great job stopping the other gods from breaking the taboo of gods waging war on each other. Any attempts to get Ghost to join their side or, more logically, turn a blind eye are futile. Because she's not having it with any other gods and mostly stays in her temple in the mortal world. And if she does come to the heavenly realm, she'll be close to the hip with Flow and Fedelis, and those two would know something is off if the rebels would approach-- and more gods outside of their loop know your secret evil plans would be a bad idea.

Then The Justice God-- Oh yeah, he's proven a dangerous threat, more than the War Goddess. Given how much he hates anything about the God of Chaos (daddy issues), one of the members hates him dearly that they were so obsessive about having him dead and then focusing on the plan 100 percent. So what are baddies going to do to solve this nasty snag? Easy, MURDER conspiracy. But who does that choose to kill? Hah, who am I kidding? It's Sparkcase.

(Sorry, my giant blue metal dude, but you are primed to get the short stick of getting murdered. Though Ghostwire could be in a better spot as well.)

It's very safe to assume the two patrons have a terrible relationship. If calling, one wants nothing to do with him while the other tries his best to be a stifling aft hole for his definition of peace as a relationship. All it took was perhaps a few underhanded tricks for one to kill the other, despite the consequences.

Their plan: After getting the two gods to be furious with each other, an easy feat, they blow off steam into the mortal realm. Weaken the Justice God, thanks to a cocktail potion, framing it as a wine offering, is made by the spider goddess. And knowing the details, it'll be a PAINFUL one. He couldn't speak, let alone move.

Then the evil gods give Ghostwire a different potion, as an offering, that lets those enact their true intentions, thinking that Ghostwire is holding back from wanting to harm the Justice God. Then lure the War goddess into the clearing, where Sparkcase is withering from the potion. Then show her the far familiar sword, Sparkcase's sword, leaning onto the tree and letting Ghostwire's inner demons and potion take over her.

Once Ghostwire kills him in a bloody fashion, the outrage will start. Once a God's killed, everyone knows-- Yes, many will claim they saw it coming from the black sheep. But many would sympathize with Ghost- it was a tragedy, after all. No one, except a few, really liked or cared for Sparkcase, given his track record, but it was still taboo to kill a god despite how unlikable the justice god was. Clearly, a rift is forming among the gods, and it'll keep growing. And the rebels will clearly take advantage and "save" Ghostwire, seeing how she is finally alone and angry. Finally, convincing her to their side and their rebelling will start their victory!

What actually happened: they'll follow the plan to a t. But seeing Sparkcase on the ground in immense pain, Extravagant wanted to aggravate the situation, revealing herself, and began to mock Sparkcase. Maybe giving him a hard kick and watching him squirm in the heightened pain sensitivity. The rebel told God what an ungrateful bastard he really was. Sparkcase a symbol of Justice? Ha- only he believes he would believe that. He created his own demise-his own enemies, and everyone would rejoice that he would be gone.

He couldn't do or say anything but watch and listen as she left him alone with the gleam of his weapon near the entrance. He was left alone like a wounded prey, waiting in pained terror of who would finish him off. Thought yes, he had many enemies to count anymore but wondered who they tricked into killing him. Before eventually seeing a glint of silver and purple near the entrance, is where Sparkcase's pain is slightly overshadowed by fear when he realizes that: It is Ghostwire.

She is acting weirdly, tired, and confused as Ghostwire leans onto the tree. What was in that wine? Felt ill when the voices and phenomenons sweetly lured her here. Her optics narrowed as she took a while concentrating on what was happening, as the seductive voices went silent. She was not alone in this quiet clearing.

Seeing that old jerk of a God writhing in unimaginable pain on the ground, his once pristine robes were dirtied with mud, grass, and wine. She swore she saw three purple optics. He was naturally pathetic looking as he finial stopped to look up at her. She could see an unfamiliar emotion in his optics amassed in the feelings she was acquainted with before glancing at the propped sword.

Ghostwire felt the odd feeling change into something compelling. Within the darkest recess of her spark, boiling over as the femme glanced at the brilliant shine of the unsheathed blade. She cautiously picked it up before bringing the weapon before him.

Many thoughts raced in his mind: Various levels of oh shit, I really did make my own end despite how obvious she was under some kind of influence. But with the gloated details from Extravagant, it would seem very convincing that the mystery spell would be enough for the War Goddess to act out her worse desires. He couldn't speak to get her to stop or move out of the way; that's not himself rocking back and forth from the intense burning sensation.

As she kneeled to look at him, those ruby optics glared down. Usually, her optics were filled with agitation and polite wariness when he looked down at her, but now looking up, just anger, no more patients. He couldn't watch, squeezing his optics shut. Just waiting for all this to be over, no attempt to speak threw the pain. He wanted to die with the scant dignity he had left.

Instead of death, he received the Goddess's softest but brutal honesty. She admits that the Goddess still hates his past and current actions. That Ghostwire was over the thought of him pretending to be nice to her yet still agitated that he could not let go of the past to let herself do her duties. And what she'll be doing will never get him to change his views on her, especially now and after. Throwing the sword away towards a tree and calling Fedelis, Ghostwire decided to help the ungrateful God. She silently walked away from him to her temple after the Medical God helped both. The conspiracy failed, no taboo was broken, and Sparkcase now left many uncomfortable truths. Ones he already knew before and new ones after.

#goddess au #gods au #au mas #lore building

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thechangeling · 3 years

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But you like her better: Part 1

This fic features Kit's potential new girlfriend hinted at in a letter from Tessa to Magnus in CC's newsletter. A bunch of people in the fandom built her from the ground up @littlx-songbxrd @foxglove-airmid @the-wckd-powers @adoravel-fenomeno and @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood to name a few, and gave her a personality, name and backround. Their name is Marí.

Kit uses he/they pronouns in this fic and Marí uses she/they.

Cw: Disassociation (or at least how I experience it idk it might not be the same for everyone), negative self talk, self injurious stims, and bad coping mechanisms.

Title is from Heather by Conan Gray.

Marìa. Marí as she preferred to be called, was a bubbly kind soul with a wide inviting smile and a melodic voice.

Even Ty could admit that they were quite beautiful, despite not seeing women (or in Marí's case anyone who was particularly alienated with womanhood,) in a romantic or sexual light. It took him awhile to realize he was gay, but when he did it just seemed so obvious. He had gone through a minor phase of experimentation at the scholomance when he was younger but it hadn't lasted long.

Still Marí was stunning. And perhaps what made her even more stunning was her kindness and generosity. Ty had met her on the beach in LA while she and her parents were visiting the LA institute for a downworlder/shadowhunter summit being held by Helen, Aline, Mark and Cristina, similar to the one Julian held in 2012.

Ty noticed that Tessa and Jem were present, but Kit was not. He was not exactly sure how that should make him feel. So Ty elected to push the pain in his chest further down. To shove all if his unresolved feelings and worries and questions about Kit Herondale back into the metaphorical box and move on.

So he had gone outside to walk on the beach to distract himself when he found Marí sitting on the sand and crying.

Apparently according to them, they had come across a few dead moon jellyfish, or Aurelia aurita as was more scientifically accurate, that had washed up on the beach.

Ty remembered being moved by how she had such compassion for another living creature who wasn't even a person. It was rare. Ty had helped her bury them. She seemed wary and a little hostile around him at first, noticing his runes. She was clutching her body tightly. Ty noticed her anxiety and told her how he was also a lover of aquatic life and he found marine biology fascinating. This had prompted her to instantly change demeanor and become very excited and start jumping up and down and waving her hands before she told him that she was studying marine biology at university in Devon.

The mention of Devon should gave promoted Ty to wonder if Marí knew Kit but he was still putting up mental blocks to protect himself from the Kit situation so it hadn't crossed Ty's mind.

They had sat on the beach and talked for hours. Marí told him their name and that they used she/they pronouns. They also told Ty that they were from Devon, but their family was from Loiza, a city on the Northeastern coast of Puerto Rico. And also that they were all werewolves who pretty much hated shadowhunters but he seemed ok because he liked jellyfish. They mentioned that marine biology was one of their special interests and that they were autistic and had ADHD.

It would have been the perfect opportunity to tell Marí about him also being autistic but Ty being guarded and asocial, decided not to and told her as little as possible. He supposed he had some trust issues after everything. He mentioned his name, that he was attending the scholomance, and a few basic facts about his family. He also talked about his friend Alyssa Reyes.

Alyssa or Ali as he called her, was a werewolf with Maia's pack in New York. She was assigned as a liaison to the scholomance to act as a bridge between the werewolves and future centurions. And BOY had she complained about it. Alyssa was basically the president of the fuck shadowhunters club and she was autistic and had ADHD. She and Marí would have gotten along quite well.

Marí overall did most of the talking but she didn't seem to mind. On the contrary.

Ty had no idea that by that point they were already dating Kit.

When Kit returned with apologetic smiles and a new found charisma and confidence, he also brought her. And she was so happy to see Ty again that he felt so guilty for feeling torn up inside.

Ty couldn't hate Marí. Not even if he tried. They hadn't done anything wrong and neither had Kit. So Ty would just have to settle for hating himself for being angry over nothing.

Kit and Ty weren't really talking. Sure they had exchanged some words together when basically forced to, but Kit was being standoffish and Ty was still feeling a little annoyed. But mostly hurt. Ty had heard that Kit was using he/they pronouns and now identified as genderfluid. He had so many questions for Kit but Ty knew he couldn't ask. At least not right now.

Currently Ty was watching Kit and Marí talking. Kit was in the middle of telling her what looked to be a funny story based on the way she was laughing. Kit pushed a lock of dark curly hair back behind her ear and smiled.

Ty felt queasy. He bit his lip and averted his gaze trying to shake off the horrible feeling. Everytime he saw them together his chest felt like it was being squeezed by a juicer. Like he was being crushed and torn up on the inside and it was his fault. Just like it was his fault that Kit left. Or maybe that wasn't true. Maybe it was just inevitable but that didn't make it any easier.

Ty didn't have the right to be jealous or upset. He had no claim over Kit. He was being ridiculous he told himself as he attempted to shove all of these dark feelings into the box.

But this time it wasn't working.

"Alright you look like you're about to snap crackle and pop," Ty heard a voice say beside him. "What gives Sherlock?"

Ty looked up to see Alyssa Reyes standing next to him. When they had all congregated together in the LA institute and Kit had brought Marí and his friend Janessa back with them. Ty had decided to bring his lucky charm and close friend with him.

When Alyssa first came to the scholomance things were quite rough. But they had connected, first on the basis of being autistic and then through other things. Ali also had a love of mysteries and the two of them together were quite the team. The two of them had become incredibly close. Anush called her Irene because she was the only one who could outsmart Ty.

Speaking of Anush..

He was currently still back at the scholomance. They had both decided it was best for him to stay behind so they could spend some time apart. They had recently broken up after Ty finally realized he wasn't in a good place emotionally to date anyone. Ty had been forced to put Livvy's spirit to rest permanently when it started to have an affect on the mortal world negativity. It had been Livvy herself who had begged Ty to save the world at her expense.

That had been about a month ago and Ty was still relatively numb. He had a feeling it would begin to hurt eventually. Just not yet.

"Hey did you hear me?" Alyssa raised her voice. "What's wrong?" Ty refocused on his friend.

She was wearing her costume for the Halloween party they were all attending tonight. Kit, Ty, Dru, Alyssa, Marí, Jaime, Janessa and Thaís. It was Dru herself who had suggested they need a break from essentially preparing themselves for what was probably going to be another war. So they were headed to a vampire hosted party at a club in downtown LA. Alyssa had been sure to grab earplugs for Ty and herself which he was grateful for.

Alyssa was dressed as Aeryn Sun from Farscape, one of the many autistic coded characters from scifi that she was obsessed with. She was wearing a long black leather trench coat with black leather pants and a black tank top. Her dark brown hair was pulled back onto a long braid traveling down to her lower back. She even had leather boots and a fake blaster gun holstered at her thigh to complete the look.

And Ty of course, was dressed as Sherlock.

Ty shook his head at her. "Nothing Ali I'm fine."

Alyssa glowered at him. "Bullshit you're fine. I thought we agreed never to lie to each other?"

Ty sighed, gazing back at Kit and Marí, still smiling at each other. Alyssa followed his gaze.

"Oh you're jealous aren't you!" She declared matter of factly. Ty instantly shushed her.

"Oh relax they can't hear us, she muttered. We're too far away." She twirled her long braid and stimmed with the ends of it. "You know if you plan on taking your anger out on that lovely girl, a member of our COMMUNITY no less, who has done absolutely nothing wrong, then I'm like legally required to throw hands," she said with a smile.

Ty didn't smile back. "I wouldn't," he murmered, looking down. He had been flicking his fingers lazily at his sides, but now Ty found that wasn't good enough. He dug his fingernails into his right palm.

Alyssa looked concerned. "Hey I was just kidding," she said softly. She took his hand that had been creating little half-moon red divots on his skin and carefully threaded his fingers through her own.

Ali squeezed Ty's hand. "You know I'm on your side no matter what." He squeezed back.

Ty looked at the couple again. Emotions swirled all around his heart like little ribbons grazing against the sides. It wasn't just jealousy neccessary and Ty was a little shocked to find that he wasn't angry anymore. He was just...what?

Sad?

Sad didn't even begin to feel like it covered it. He felt so lost. And alone. And.... He felt himself starting to drift away, separating from himself. Ty could hear the fuzzy far away echo of someone trying to speak to him, but he couldn't make out the words. They were getting further and further away.

Everything was blurry and out of focus.

"Ty!" He heard a voice shout. With a jolt he was snapped back into his body. He turned to face Alyssa who was staring at him, looking obviously alarmed.

But the worst part was that everyone else was staring at him too. Including Kit. They looked shocked, but also something else that Ty couldn't quite pinpoint. There was an air of desperation to their voice when they asked,

"Are you ok?"

Was Ty ok?

It was such a funny question coming from Kit who hadn't spoken more than two words to him this whole time.

Kit who had left.

Ty didn't know what else to do except laugh. He burst laughing hysterically, almost falling from his position of where he was leaning against the wall. He desperately tried to gasp for air as he cackled.

Everyone was staring at him looking horrified. Dru pulled out her phone as if she was contemplating calling someone, then decided against it. Tears were starting to roll down Ty's cheeks as he kept laughing.

Alyssa grabbed his arm. "Alright, come with me," she ordered, dragging him to the side. Ty managed to stop laughing as she guided him firmly into the training room.

Ty's eyes were still blurry with tears, so he wiped them away. Alyssa was smiling at him softly, looking sympathetic. "It's gonna be ok Ty,: she cooed, taking his hand again. Alyssa began to rub slow soothing circles onto his palm.

"Ok, you wanna tell me what's going on now?" She asked gently. Ty sniffed and used his other hand to wipe away the rest of his tears.

"I don't know what to say," he admitted. "I don't know how to describe or explain it.

Alyssa nodded. "Well, try. You can use quotes or song lyrics if you want." Ty smiled. He was grateful that Ali understood.

Ty chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment. "It feels like a tear in my heart. Like a part of me is missing and I just can't feel it," he quoted. Alyssa stared at him, pondering. She continued to stroke his hand.

"Do you think what you're missing is Kit?" She asked. "Do you miss him?"

Ty glared at Alyssa and snatched his hand back. "No," he said firmly. "I don't."

Ali rolled her eyes. "Jesus you're almost as bad at love as I am! It's like trying to open a rusted toolbox with a fork getting you to open up!" She snapped.

Ty bared his teeth under closed lips and glowered at her. "Well maybe I never asked for your help!"

"Well maybe you should calm down and recognize that I'm your friend and I'm worried about you!" She shouted back.

Guilt instantly washed over him, pricking his skin. Ty squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm sorry Ali," he whispered.

He wished he could cry. Now more than ever Ty wished he could make himself cry. Over Livvy, over Kit. Over the coming battle. Over everything.

"Do you love them?" He heard her ask. There was no need to ask who she meant.

Ty opened his eyes. This was the thing he never acknowledged. Never said outloud. Never even let himself think it. Because it was terrifying. The acknowledgement of the truth.

The truth was that Ty would probably give his life just to see that adorable smile one more time. That he could tell you how many freckles Kit had because he had spent so many hours staring at Kit and counting them.

The truth was that when Kit held him, he felt closer to anyone then he ever had in his entire life. Ty had sat outside of Kit's door for hours, days even when they had first arrived because he had felt something, even then. Something pulling at him from the other side of that door like a magnet. He told himself it was just curiosity. A scientific curiosity.

It was the only thing that could logically explain Ty's obsession. It wasn't serious. It wasn't-

"I love him," Ty admitted shakily, breaking the silence. Even Alyssa looked a little suprised.

"I'm in love with Kit."

Before Ali could respond, Ty sensed movement by the training room door which they had forgotten to close. Ty instantly whipped around to see who it was, wondering frantically if they had overheard what Ty had said.

Standing in the door frame wearing her Mortica Addams costume for the party, complete with a jet black long wig was Marí.

And the look on their face suggested to Ty that they had heard every word.

I will try and get part 2 up as soon as I can! It will be from Marí's perspective.

The song Ty quotes is Can you hold me by NF.

Tag list: @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @clarys-heosphoros @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @arangiajoan @queenlilith43 @adoravel-fenomeno

#tsc #tda #the dark artifices #kit x ty #ty blackthorn #twp #kit herondale #marí the werewolf #we need to give her a last name #marí tag

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newswcanonprompts · 4 years

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Skywalkers are immortal eldritch fucks (there’s so many ways this can go)

1. How does being half-force affect Anakin as a force ghost

Anakin... wasn't properly dead. just a bit too present, a bit too lively, and that if only someone pulled hard enough on the veil, he could be made to bleed again.

Anakin just keeps coming back to life, And so do Luke and Leia when they die.

"You've done it, you've killed Anakin fucking Skywalker. Wait, why is he standing behind you? Where's his body gone? Oh fuck, what is that expression? Oh no!"

This happens to Vader and terrifies the f*ck out of literally everyone

the man is the son of the Force, yes? how could he "become one with it" if he basically already was part of it? or at least, made of it?

It'd be either kinda horrifying or basically a regenerate-your-limbs get out of jail free card

Anakin turns up in Luke's temple one day, like "hey turns out I can't die"

Luke is just happy to have a Dad

imagine the backlash if that little factoid ever went public. "What do you mean Darth Vader can't die???"

"You mean he's alive right now????"

Obi-Wan realising he can't have a peaceful retirement in the afterlife because Anakin's apparently immortal now

Anakin starts trying to figure out how to make Obi wan immortal too

Ahsoka is so confused at everything

"You look a lot like the Hero with No Fear from the Clone Wars. Are you his grandson or something?"

"Nope, I am him."

"Freaking weird Jedi and their not aging."

2. how terrifying it would have been if during the Dooku fight in AOTC his arm just regrew the moment it was cut off

3. them realizing this during the clone wars: CHECKMATE BITCHES

imagine the propaganda if there was a General who literally couldn't die

the Seperatists wouldn't know which way was up anymore

Anakin realised he had this sort of ability during the clone wars it would be hilarious to see him just throwing himself at things

he could protect his men better

Imagine how distressing it would be for a shiny to just see their general die and then come back seconds later

And Rex being like "Yep, the general does that."

just rubbing his eyes. and being completely done

Imagine the bitching sessions with Cody "At least yours resurrects! Mine just runs off without his kriffing lightsaber and armor all the time!"

clone boys have a heart attack whenever their general just decides to regrow limbs

rex faints the first time he sees anakin's arm grow back.

instead of the whole "my general keeps losing his lightsaber" it becomes "my general keeps losing his arm"

"My general keeps dying."

"Oh, how many have you been assigned to now?"

"No, no, he gets better again afterwards."

the 501st never tell the shinies that their general is immortal because the vets like to fuck around like that

it's kind of a right of passage for shinies to almost have a heart attack when the general comes back from the dead

Anakin is basically just the "if all else fails" option at that point because no matter what happens to him, he will be back at the temple annoying the hell out of everyone before dinner time

Anakin gets mortally wounded and is like "Well, I'll see you in five."

Droids: * shoot Anakin *

* Anakin: * dies *

Anakin, 5 minutes later in the middle of a crowd of droids: SURPRISE BITCHES!! * Murders them all *

Anakin dying to Dooku at the end of Attack of the Clones and then coming back and Dooku just being like "Fuck this shit I'm out."

him coming back and chasing dooku with his arm

Imagine the moment they find out Anakin can come back from the dead:

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan just sobbing their hearts out and then suddenly he's behind them like "Hey, bold of you to presume I'm mortal."

He pulls a Percy Jackson, and walks into his funeral.

mace windu utters a quiet "are you fucking kidding me"

next time anakin dies, his funeral includes a "welcome home anakin" banner

Mace stops letting the Yoda Lineage have funerals because they don't stay dead

They keep having funerals for Anakin just as an excuse to have a party

what if politicians don't know this. like the first time he dies during the war, and all the diplomats are there. Except Padme. She knows all and is just there to see the chaos.

They're usually private funerals, so they can keep inviting new people to screw with

"general skywalker just died"

"senator he's right here"

"i saw him die protecting me right before my eyes"

"senator do you need the healers?"

Obi-Wan, just watched Anakin go splat at the bottom of a ravine:

“ANAKIN!!”

Anakin, popping back into the mortal coil just behind him: “Yeah? What's up?”

obi-wan finding out about a Anakins thing and keeping it a secret,

so one day anakin dies and the whole council is like, mourning

obi-wan is just rolling his eyes and saying “it’s fine he’ll be back”

everyone thinks obi-wans having a mental breakdown

but then anakin walks into his funeral with a cup of caf and sunglasses and flashes everyone a peace sign

All of Yoda’s lineage (except dooku) and padme know.

"can you guys not cover me in white next time? it's pretty boring"

"can i get, like, glitter? is that a thing? make it a thing"

Skywalkers can also breath in space.

They just don’t have to breathe.

4. THE FORCE IS A PROACTIVE PARENT IN THIS (AND AGENDER) (THEY/THEM PRONOUNS)

during the time it takes for him to resurrect, the force and anakin talked.

Bc that's the only time he could talk with a tangible parent.

he learns about palps that way

one time Anakin dies twice in one day

turns out the ability has a bit of a cooldown time so everyone's just panicking a bit because he should be back by now

then he appears like three days later

Obi-Wan's like "You bastard."

"Gotta keep you on your toes."

Really his parent just wanted some more time with him, and who was he to refuse?

a cracky! anakin basically having annual dinners with The Force because of how often he dies in the clone wars

in this verse the clone wars was created so Anakin & his parent The Force can have family dinners

Mortis, but instead of All That Nonsense, it's just a nice episode of meet the parent

padme dies, and then at her funeral she comes back, but force sensitive.

force sensitive, immortal, padme amidala. The seppies are going DOWN

The Force wills Padme to die because The Force wants to meet their daughter in law

It does this for basically everyone Anakin cares about

sometimes anakin and padme just drop dead, and wake up a few hours later bc they had a family dinner to get to.

"I'm going to kill you" is suddenly the literal way for Anakin to say "I love you"

Anakin dies on Mandalore and Satine witnesses it and she's horrified and doesn't know what to tell Obi-Wan but then she sees Obi-Wan talking to Anakin and she's so confused

So if anakin kills you and you’re someone he cares about you come back to life immortal.

Death By Skywalker basically being a way of becoming immortal is gonna fuck with the war so much

when Palpatine tells Anakin to kill all the jedi he thinks Palpatine is telling him to invite all the jedi to his Force Family Dinner

One day the entire Jedi temple just dies all at once, and comes back a couple hours later, to the confusion of literally everyone (including the Jedi)

yoda is frequently killed to spend time with the force because after 900 years the two of them are tight as fuck

Anakin doesn’t have attachment issues in this bc hey, people die all the time! :)

He also ends up being worshipped as a demigod.

More Angsty version of this: young anakin kills palps bc he thinks he'll resurrect, but then the tangible form of the force appears and explains that he was the sith master.

Palpatine would probably actually try to get Anakin to kill him, because hey! Free immortality! Don't mind if i do!

5. Imagine if this was something he discovered as a little kid. Anakin going off to visit Qui-Gon in the force and Obi-Wan wondering what eldritch beast he has ended up with as a padawan

"Anakin what are you doing?"

"I'm making master Qui-Gon a friendship bracelet?"

"...master qui gon?"

"yeah! i gave one to my parent yesterday and master qui-gon said he wanted one too!"

"Your parent? when exactly was this yesterday?"

anakin being a convoy for dead masters and their old padawans like Weed Dad qui gon jinn and his Struggling Son obi wan

anakin has two parents

Parent and Mom

#star wars #the clone wars #long post #anakin skywalker #the force #obi wan kenobi #padme amidala #yoda #master yoda #palpatine #count dooku #mace windu #captain rex #commander cody #tcw #qui gon jinn #eldritch

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thenovelartist · 3 years

Text

Burned Beginnings, chapter 2

<<Previous Next>>

4. Best Friends

In the month or so he’d been working there, Adrien hadn’t worked much with Marinette. Tonight, though, he’d be running a night shift with her.

“Adrien, I would never say anything bad about my daughter,” Mr. Dupain said with a sympathetic expression. “But if she gives you trouble, don’t hesitate to tell me.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” Adrien dismissed. “I’m pretty sure I know why she acts like that.”

“What was that?” Mrs. Cheng asked, entering the kitchen.

Mr. Dupain looked confused for a moment, and Adrien thought it wouldn’t hurt to explain everything to them. This was their employee and daughter, after all. If Adrien were in their shoes, he’d like to be in the know. “A childhood friend of mine is Chloe Bourgeois.”

In an instant, Mrs. Cheng nodded as though she understood. “I already see where this is going.”

“I don’t know all the details, but they were seemingly at each other’s throats often. And from what I can guess, one of those topics that set them off was apparently me. But that’s only my best guess.”

“As much sense as that makes,” Mrs. Cheng said, “that’s still no excuse for Marinette to act that way around you, and she knows it. If it continues, Adrien, I’ll have a talk with her.”

“Don’t,” Adrien cut in. “Really, she’s free to think that way. I don’t hold it against her.”

The two owners exchanged a look Adrien couldn’t quite decipher before turning back to him.

“Well,” Mr. Dupain said, a slightly forced smile on his face. “Maybe tonight will give you two a chance to break the ice.”

Adrien shrugged. “Only if she’s open to it. But don’t bug her about it, okay?”

“Sorry, Adrien, but I can’t keep that promise,” Mrs. Cheng spoke up. “Because no matter what you think of each other, this is a bakery that needs to function at its best. And it won’t be if she refuses to cooperate with you.”

“We won’t tell her what to think,” Mr. Dupain said. “But my wife is right: Marinette can be a bit stubborn at times. I feel like you two are somehow similar in that way.”

Adrien snorted. Him? Similar to Marinette? He doubted it. She had way more fire in her than he did, and he was not going to press his luck and get burned by it.

Still, upon seeing the earnestly worried looks on his bosses’ faces, he wouldn’t press the issue. “I’ll try breaking the ice, but I’m not forcing her.”

Mr. Dupain sighed, but his smile widened. “You’re a really good kid, Adrien. I knew I made the right choice in hiring you. Thanks for being such a good sport.”

Adrien wouldn’t deny how nice it felt to be complimented like that. “Thank you, sir.”

…

Adrien fully expected a mouth full of sarcasm and sass that night. Shockingly, it never came.

“So,” she said, holding the special-order sheet out for him to see. “I’ll run you through how orders like these are taken, and then I’ll show you how to plan for them and complete them, okay?”

He didn’t fully trust that she’d just dropped the cold shoulder overnight for no reason. Therefore, he wouldn’t push his luck. “Understood.”

Throughout the whole process, Marinette didn’t take it slow like Mr. Dupain would have. She ran through things quickly and efficiently, yet she paused frequently to ensure he understood.

“Okay,” she said, placing the special-order sheet off to the side once she’d finished explaining everything. “Then I’ll start on this portion of the order if you want to do this one?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Okay, I’ll let you get started. Tell me if you need anything or have any questions.”

Eventually, the two of them fell quiet as they each worked on their part of the order. Adrien could tell Marinette still held a cold shoulder towards him, but it wasn’t so bad as before. And after a while, he decided that maybe he did want to push his luck tonight.

“You hate me.”

Marinette froze, glancing up at him for barely a second before returning to her work. “What makes you say that?”

“You’re really cold towards me.”

She didn’t respond.

He saved her the trouble. “I know it has something to do with Chloe.”

Again, she spared him another glance. “Won’t deny that.”

Adrien paused in his work as he thought about the words he wanted to say next. “I don’t want to force it out of you, but I kinda want to know why.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because we’re co-workers and your parents are nice, so I thought we could at least get to a place we could cooperate well for the sake of the bakery.”

Marinette took her time thinking about it, turning on the giant mixer she stood by. “Yeah, my parents don’t deserve it,” she eventually whispered before turning to him. “And I know that.”

Adrien dropped the dough in his hands onto the counter. “How about this,” he said, leaning against the counter. “I’ll give you the next 30 seconds to spill any and all your beef with me. I won’t take it personally, and I won’t hold it against you. From what I understand, you and Chloe were practically mortal enemies, and so I can imagine me having been close to her doesn’t endear me to you.”

She huffed, bemused. “Well, you’re right about that.”

“So you can start whenever you’re ready.”

Marinette fidgeted for a moment before glancing into the mixer again to see how the dough was coming along. With a sigh, she turned towards Adrien and slapped her hands against the counter.

The fire in her eyes almost made Adrien regret this decision. Almost. He was both terrified yet turned on.

“Chloe was my school bully for almost every single year of my schooling,” she began, not bothering to hide the bite in her tone. “It is her fault I got my first suspension, and in some way, she was the reason for every one that came after. And then, because of all ofthat drama, I was barred from every single university I thought about attending. And it sucks when the rug is ripped out from under you like that. So forgive me if I’m not so willing to open up to the guy Chloe practically worshiped like a Greek god, because the last person I wanted to have started working here, excluding Chloe, was her lover.”

Adrien froze, listening to those words. They took way too long to register in his head, and when they did, he felt his stomach twist into knots. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he cried, backing up and waving his hands before him. “Who are you calling Chloe’s lover?”

“You, of course. Unless you want to deny that.”

“The hell? Yes I want to deny that!” Adrien cried. “No. No no no! What the hell would give you that impression?”

She quirked a challenging brow. “Do you knowhow she talked about you?”

“No, but if the conversation is going to go the way I think it is, I really don’t want to.”

“She constantly was talking about how strong you were,” Marinette said, clearly ignoring him on purpose if that grin and her mocking tone was anything to go by. “As if she had personally run her hands over your body.”

Adrien felt like he was going to be sick.

“And then she talked a couple times about your bedroom and how she was adamant your silk sheets were the most luxurious of any she’s ever known. Oh, and before my thirty seconds are up, I’m going to toss in that she constantly bragged about how you were on her side, and how when you told all your friends about me, they all agreed I was the Queen Bitch of Paris. There, I’m done.”

Unable to do much more than hang his red face in shame, he took a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts before meeting her gaze again. When he did, the bitter smile on her face proved how much Chloe had hurt her, and used his name to do it. “I am no longer surprised you hate me.”

She just hummed.

“Marinette, I swear on my dearly departed mother’s grave that never happened.”

Marinette looked mildly surprised at his words.

“Really,” he continued. “Chloe and I were childhood friends because our mothers were friends. I never saw her as anything more than that, and I never did… that with her. Never even consideredit. No. Just…” He grimaced at the thought. “No. And secondly, yes, I did hear a lot of stories about you from Chloe. That you were a ‘royal bitch’ and you harassed her and spread all sorts of nasty rumors about her around school.”

Marinette shrugged dismissively. “Well, in the spirit of being honest with you, I won’t deny any of that.”

Adrien paused for a second, surprised at her easy admission, before shaking his head. “And in the spirit of getting along with my co-worker, I’ll let that go. The point I was making was that while I heard all the stories about you, I never told anyone. I don’t really even have anyone I’d consider a friend. Co-worker or acquaintances, sure, but no friends. No, actually…” He held up a finger in realization. “I kinda lied there. I might, in conversation, have complained about Chloe’s constant complaining about some girl harassing her. I’m pretty sure that ended in my co-worker hoping you’d give her more hell because Chloe deserved it.”

Marinette snorted, the corner of her lips quirking up while a mischievous light in her eye twinkled.

Adrien had to take a moment to recollect his thoughts, pulling them away from ‘cute spunky bakery girl’ back to the current topic. “So, uh… there you go. Truth all out on the table. And I’ll work hard to prove that to you if you give me a chance.”

A short silence slipped between the two of them, one only broken by Marinette walking back over to the giant mixer to check on the dough again. She turned it off and pulled the bowl over to the counter. “Well,” she finally said, heaving the giant doughball onto the counter. “I’ll consider your request if you answer one more thing for me.”

A weight he hadn’t realized was on his chest lifted with those words. “Yeah, sure.”

She grabbed a bench scrapper and scale to begin portioning out dough balls. “Why does a model want to work in a bakery, of all places?”

“Normalcy.”

“Normalcy?”

“A life of glitz, glamor, money, fame, and girls throwing themselves at you gets old after a while, especially if you never wanted it in the first place.”

Marinette regarded him with surprise for a moment before she turned back to weighing the dough.

“I wanted out,” Adrien continued. “So, I rebelled a bit until my dad kicked me out. With no obligation to live that life anymore, I get to figure things out on my own. I get to be a regular eighteen-year-old who’s figuring out what he wants to actually do with his life and hold down a real job in the meantime.”

Marinette paused, listening to his words. “So, that’s what this job to you? Real-life experience?”

“Yeah.”

Her lips pursed in thought, but slowly, she nodded. “I can respect that.”

Adrien bit his lip. “So, um… can we call this a truce of sorts? A mutual understanding, maybe? For the sake of working together and your parents’ bakery running smoothly?”

She quirked a brow up at him before sighing. “I don’t think we’ll ever be best friends,” she began. She then extended a hand towards him. “But I guess I can stop acting like a ‘royal bitch’ towards you.”

With a smile, Adrien took her extended hand and shook it. “For the record, I never held it against you, ice princess.”

She scoffed, her lips quirking up to the side. Again, Adrien felt his chest tighten at the sight. “Don’t call me that, or I’ll go right back to ‘royal bitch’.”

He chuckled, a warmth easing though him. “Whatever you say.”

5. Jagged Stone

Help me

Those were the words Adrien mouthed at her as she passed the bakery kitchen.

It was her day off, and when she’d come back home after going out for the day, she’d passed a long line of customers who wanted their baked goods and wanted them now. Her maman looked to be handling things well enough, but then again, Maman was completely unflappable.

Adrien, on the other hand, looked to be drowning in work.

Day off she mouthed back with a wink.

That’s when Adrien had the audacity to look appalled, pantomiming being stabbed through the heart and slowly sinking behind the tall bakery tables.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. What. A. Weirdo.

Popping back up from behind the table, he shot her a grin that looked a little tired before finishing assembling a tray of goods as quickly as he could.

Deciding she’d take pity on him, Marinette grabbed an apron and tied it around her waist. “I will only assist in icing and bringing goods to the front.”

Adrien’s grin brightened. “Your assistance in any capacity is something I will gladly take.”

After turning off the faucet and shaking excess water from her hands into the sink, Marinette dried her now clean hands and went to work assembling the large pile of macrons. After that large bakery order they had to work together on last month, Marinette had been forced to swallow her pride and eat crow. Adrien wasn’t at all the model Chloe had used to brag about. Instead, Marinette was surprised to find he was actually down-to-earth. While his looks screamed ‘rebel’, he wasn’t a scoundrel. He took care to do his job to the best of his ability and was quick to pick up any new tricks or skills he was taught. For that, Marinette could admit her past prejudice and say he was a good coworker.

He also seemed to open up a bit more to her, as well, slowly exposing the fact he had a decent sense of humor.

No wonder he and her father got along well.

An hour later, the rush had finally died down. Marinette had bounced back and forth between the kitchen and the front, both retrieving pastries and boxing them. Currently, she stood in the kitchen appraising the situation.

“Wow,” she said, taking in the massive amounts of icing, crumbs, and white dust—who knew if it was flour or icing sugar—that covered the kitchen. “This… is a train wreck.”

Adrien simply nodded.

“Well, good luck with that!” Marinette patted his shoulder with a wicked smile before spinning on her heel and heading out of the kitchen.

“Whoa, hey! You’re not gonna help me?”

She looked over her shoulder, unable to keep her grin from widening. “You’re lucky I helped you in the first place.”

Adrien tossed his head back and heaved a sigh. “Fiiine.”

She couldn’t help but laugh as she took off her apron and replaced it on the hook by the kitchen door.

“Hey.”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for the help,” Adrien said, giving her an earnest smile. “Seriously, you saved my butt.”

If it were her parents, she’d just shrug it off. But this was Adrien, and she found that she quite liked having the upper hand on him. “Maybe I should have told you before,” she began, not bothering to temper her teasing tone as she slowly stepped up to him, “but I don’t do favors for free.”

His grin grew, and his eyes got a little sparkly. He was onto her game, but he looked like he was going to play along. “Yeah? So I’m in your debt now?”

“Mm-hmm,” she said with a smile. “And don’t worry, I’ll be sure to abuse the privilege.”

Adrien laughed. “I’m sure you will, you little minx.”

She shot him a wink before spinning on her heel again and strutting out of the kitchen.

“One last thing before you go?”

She turned towards him, eyebrow raised. “Yeah?”

He pointed at her t-shirt, one she got from the Jagged Stone concert she went to last year with her girl friends. “You have great taste in music.”

She grinned. “Thank you,” she said with a wink. “I’m classy that way.”

6. Anime

“I’m sorry, repeat that for me?”

Adrien chuckled. “What? Don’t you know anime has ridiculous titles at times?”

Marinette gave him a look as though he’d grown a second head before shaking hers. “You know what, no. I don’t even know why I’m surprised. You…” She pointed her finger at him while trying to give him a look, but Adrien could see the hint of a smile on her lips. “You are weird,and I know this about you. Of course, you watch anime over regular tv.”

Adrien scoffed. “Please, regular tv is trash. Anime is an art form.”

Marinette rolled her eyes at him, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. Ever since the night they had to work together to complete a large special order, Marinette had defrosted her icy attitude towards him. While he was thankful because it helped to be on good terms with coworkers, he was rather happy to get to know the girl underneath the cold exterior. She was a natural spitfire, a total tease, and had a great smile he’d do anything to bring out of her. She wasn’t just a pretty face, though he couldn’t deny that he quite liked that, too. If this persisted, Adrien thought she might actually become trouble for his heart.

And times like this made him believe he might just be okay with that.

“You are a regular nerd, aren’t you?” Marinette sassed, grinning as she easily piped the icing on a cupcake.

“Total otaku.”

“I have no clue what that is.”

“If you watched anime, you would know.”

“I’m good.”

Adrien snorted, going back to his own work piping macron cookies onto a baking sheet. After four months of working here, he’d finally gotten the hang of piping perfectly circular and even cookies.

“Honestly,” Marinette continued, not letting up her sass. “I feel like a pair of glasses would suit you better than the rebel look. Pins you for the nerd you are.”

“Aww, but princess—”

“I thought we were over the nickname,” she deadpanned, shooting him an unamused glare.

His grin widened. “Not a chance—there is a rule in anime that guys with glasses are considered hotter.”

Marinette huffed, amused. “Really?”

“Totally.”

“You made it up.”

“No, but it is unofficial.”

“Knew it.”

“But the point stands that you would not be able to handle me in my glasses.”

At that, Marinette raised a brow at him. “You wear glasses?”

He nodded. “I wear contacts here because I don’t want them to fog up in the fridge or steam by the oven or get covered in flour. The point of glasses is to be able to see clearly, and therefore, the purpose is rendered mute if they get dirty in a kitchen.”

“Fair point,” Marinette relented, going back to her cupcakes. “Still don’t believe that glasses automatically make guys hotter. Isn’t it supposed to be the opposite? You whip off the nerd specs and bam!Instant hunk?”

“Tell you what,” Adrien said, putting town the piping bag in his hands so he could fully direct his attention on her. He was finished with the cookies, anyway. “I will come into work one day wearing my glasses, and if you take even a second to stare at me in surprise, you have to watch an anime of my choice.”

Marinette regarded him with a flat look for a minute before that smirk of hers came back. “You’re really working the anime angle, aren’t you?”

“Shamelessly,” he admitted, leaning ever closer to her. “So, what do you say?”

Marinette grinned, eyes gleaming with defiance. “Bring it on. Glasses or no, you’re not getting any reaction out of me.”

Knowing her, that would likely be the case, but deep down, Adrien did hold a little hope that she’d be surprised. He thought he was over wanting attention, but apparently, when it came to her, all rules went out the window.

And at the moment, he found himself perfectly fine with that.

#miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #adrienette #AdrinetteApril2021 #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #Sass #So much sass XD

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the-night-writer1 · 3 years

Note

You mentioned an idea where Red was forced to break up with MK, not knowing he was expecting, so...

I got you angst time baby)

" I'm sorry but I must break up with you it is ill fitting of me to date a mortal" Red said as he looked away from his sweet noodle boy. He was doing this for Mk's own protection. His parents kill Mk other wise. Though it broke his heart he had to walk away as he heard Mk start to cry. Mk didn't beg him to stay, they both knew it was useless to try. He felt his own tears as roll down his face as soon as he was out of view.

Mk just stood there crying and gripping his stomach what was he going to do now. Should he have told Red? No no he couldn't do it now, Red was gone and never coming back. He was alone. He sat down on the curb and pulled out his phone to call someone. He couldn't walk home like this.

"hey- why are you crying" Wukong said, they'd finally convinced him to get a cellphone a few months ago," kid speak to me what's wrong."

"he left me monkey king. He dumped him" Mk said through tears.

"I'm sorry kiddo where you at I'll come get you ok?" Wukong said softly. Mk gave the monkey his location before he hung up. He put his phone in his pocket before sobbing into his hands.

--------

Months had passed since Red son and MK broke up. Red missed his noodle boy deeply as he sat in his lab. He was leaning back in a spin chair. His heart ached for his beloved so much. He pulled out his phone and thought about looking in his feeds. Maybe some new invention ideas could lull him for a bit.

He opened the app and the first thing he saw was one noodle boy's friends doing a Livestream call "baby shower" was one of noodle boy's friends having a baby? Curious, he joined the stream as an anonymous viewer.

"Hey come on smile for the viewers here to support you MK!" Mei said as she pulled him into frame. Red son put his hand over his mouth. Noodle boy was having a baby? Had he moved on that quickly or was it Red son's. Oh for the love of the gods what if it was his.

"Mei I'm tired" Mk mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. He looked tired, like all the energy he had went that bump of his. He still gave a light smile to the camera for a moment before going to sit down out of view. Red read the comments as they popped up in the chat. Some asking about noodle boy's health, some remarking that Red was a bastard, and some cheering his ex lover on for raising a child alone. Red felt tears roll his cheek what had he done? He should have fought for his lover, he should disowned his parents for threatening to kill Mk in the first place. But he didn't, he left, he left Mk because he thought it was for the best. He tossed his phone to the wall and slammed on his desk. Breaking the thing in two. His fiery Red flames turning blue as the door cracked open.

Princess Iron fist had opened the door to check on her son. He refused breakfast and lunch so she was concerned so was her husband though he'd never admit it. Her eyes went wide as she saw Red son in a blinding rage that she'd only ever seen in his father. The blue flames caught her attention quickly, she had a sinking feeling in her gut that this rage was started by her and her husband's actions.

She was scared as her son's head started to turn towards her. She shut the door and made a mad dash towards her husband to warn him about the possible war path their son was about to go on. The door to the lab flew off it hinges and turned to ashes once it hit the wall.

"Darling we have a situation!" The Princess yelled as she slid into the room he'd been reading in. He raised a brow in confusion at her panic.

"What kind of a situation?" The Demon Bull king ask as he looked at his wife in confusion.

"Our son's very very suddenly livid. His flames have even changed color."

"so he's throwing a tantrum? I don't see why that be an issue. I've been able subdue him before"

"darling his flames are pure blue. Not traces of blue, pure blue" Princess clarified before they heard him outside," we are consequences of our actions. I don't know which ones but we will be lucky if he misses"

What was worse was they were cornered. This room had one entrance. Red son stood in the door way glaring at them in a rage.

----

The baby shower had end an hour so ago and Mk laid in bed. He rubbed his belly gently before hearing a knock at his door. He slowly got up and answered it. There stood a brutally beaten Princess Iron fist, she had burns and looked remorseful.

"we apologize for making Red son break up with you. We have learned our lesson and our behavior was unjustified" The princess said as she bowed to him. Mk raised a brow, Red had been forced to leave him? What the fuck happened to his parents to make his mother come and apologize," my husband would be here to also apologize but his burns are worse than mine. Please forgive us or at least our son for what we forced him to do."

" did..did he attack you both?" Mk asked somewhat concerned as she stood up. She'd noticed his bump as soon as he'd opened the door. The child most have been what broke the camel's back and caused her son to lash out.

"we deserved it. To be honest we haven't been treating him well since my husband's return. He was bound to lash out at some point."

"Yeah clearly" Mk said as he crossed his arms," has he calmed down at all?"

"not really. That's the other reason I came. I thought if he saw you he'd possibly calm down." Princess said as she rubbed her shoulder. She waited for Mk's response. Mk went to get his shoes and then came back.

"is your wind thing safe for" Mk asked gesturing to his stomach.

"yes definitely"

----

Red son was punching a wall repeated as his father hid in the room behind it. He grinded his teeth together with each punch.

"Red" a voice called out from behind him. He turned his head towards the voice before any rage he had disappeared. It was his noodle boy, his sweet noodle boy. Red ran over and hugged him tightly though careful not to crush their growing baby. Mk hugged him back.

"your mom explained everything." Mk said as he rubbed Red's back as Red buried his face in Mk's shoulder"you want to come home? "

"yes I'd like to go home" Red said as he wiped the tears in Mk's eyes.

#lego monkie kid au #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #spicynoodlesshipping #lmk red son #lmk mk #lmk mei #lmk wukong #lmk pif #lmk dbk

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mageofseven · 3 years

Note

I've been reading your stuff lately and I love them.

May I request like the bros' reaction when their kid told MC that they hate her and when the bro asked why they hate her the kid be like she gonna leave them too when they grow up... since mc is a human and stuff.. :/

Okay, I think you're talking about death here? If not, sorry, but if so, this is so sad 😣 It makes sense though. Once they learn about death, they might not fully understand it. That combined with hearing that human life spans are so short, maybe the kids would be afraid that it means their mommy is going to willingly leave them some day?

Lucifer:

Immediately angry with his daughter.

Grabs Ksenia by the arm and makes her face him.

"Tell your mother you are sorry."

"B-But she's going to leave me..."

Loosens his grip on her arm, frowning.

Realizes that the girl is just scared of losing her mother.

In all honesty...he is too.

"That doesn't mean you can say such things..." He says more gently. "Now please tell her that you are sorry."

He struggles with the same fear, but buries it deep within himself so he can enjoy the present with his Love and their daughter. Really hopes his daughter can do the same.

Mammon:

"Woah, woah, woah! Where the hell did that come from??"

"I hate her! She's gonna leave me!" Little Cassia starts bawling her eyes out.

Oh shit...

"Okay, none of that, none of that!" The second brother got down on his knees and pulled his daughter in close. "Your mama ain't going anywhere soon, ya hear? She's stayin' right with us, ya got it?"

"Y-You promise?"

"Ya bet. Think I'd lie to you?" He asked, feeling a bit guilty.

I mean yeah, his daughter is actually right...someday MC will be gone and that's that. Still, this girl is way too young to think about that.

Leviathan:

"Y-You can't say that!"

This man has no clue how to handle this--like at all.

Luckily, MC does.

The woman leans down and hugs her crying son close.

"I-I'm sorry. Please don't leave me, Mommy."

"Shh." MC cajoled. "It's okay. Mommy's gonna be here for a long time and no matter what, you're always gonna have Daddy, okay."

That jolted Levi from his freezed panic. He fell down to his knees and joined the hug, arms wrapped around both MC and Kai.

"Yeah. I'm always gonna be here, okay?"

God, thinking about a future where his Henry is not here...the demon doesn't even want to. He doesn't wanna face it. But some day he's gonna have to and he can't just shut himself away in his room when that day comes because Kai is gonna need him.

But will he be strong enough to be there for his son when that day comes?

Satan:

Steps in between MC and Amelie as the girl screams. She may be a child, but she still has the strength of a demon and Satan didn't want his Kitten to get hurt from their daughter's tantrum.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" The small child screamed, jumped, and cried. Each jumped cracked the floorboards under her feet more.

Puts in a lot of effort to remain calm. Matching anger with more anger solves nothing and the Avatar of Wrath recognized this.

"Amelie, that is enough." Satan said sternly, not yelling, but also making sure his daughter could hear him above her own sobs.

The little girl collapsed onto the ground and started kicking her hands and feet against the floor, breaking off bits of wood.

"I--don't--wan--na--lose-Mama!" Amelie screamed and cried with each heavy breath.

"S-Satan..." MC started tearing up at their daughter's words.

Satan took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"It'll be fine." He told her before letting go and leaning down to pick up Amelie.

The child kicked and cried till her father brought her in for hug and then she simply clung to him.

"Shh. Amelie, it's alright." The demon said softly. "Mama's right here with us. She's not leaving anytime soon."

"You promise?"

"I promise." MC chimed in, wrapping her arms around her daughter and kissing her head over and over.

MC's mortality...that's something her boyfriend wishes to fix. He's not quite sure how, but surely it's possible; Solomon proves just as much. Regardless of whether it is or isn't though, the demon did not want his daughter to fear that day or to give it any thought at all. This truth is something he wishes for only himself to bear, not Amelie or MC.

Asmodeus:

"Oh LiLi!" Azzy lightly scolded before pulling his son into his lap. "Don't say such mean things to Mommy."

"I-I'm sorry..." Liam burying his face in his dad's shirt and sniffled.

"Now what's wrong, baby? Talk to us." MC cajoled as she stroked her son's hair.

"I don't want you to die someday, Mommy..."

His parents' eyes widen.

"LiLi...that's not anything you need to worry about, sweetie." Asmo kissed his head.

"But isn't Mommy gonna leave someday?"

"Not for a very long time, baby," MC rubbed his back. "And I promise I'll be here with you always till that day."

Oh devil. Now Asmo is gonna be worrying about her eventual death for awhile. Later, his Dolly will have to switch to comforting him, but for now, they both need to focus on their son.

Beelzebub:

"Arsi..." The younger sister hugged her twin's arm.

Their parents just stared in shock at first. Why would Arsenia say she hates MC?

Beel frowned.

"Arsi, what's wrong?"

The girls both started crying and their parents immediately scooped them up, Arsi in Beel's arms and Anais in MC's. The two gently rocked their girls as they cried.

"Okay, what's going on girls?" The woman kissed her youngest's forehead.

Anais simply hid her face in the crook of her mama's neck

The demon pulled his oldest back a little to look her the eyes.

"Arsi, Baby Bean. Talk to Papa here."

The girl sniffled.

"We...we heard you and Mama talking about her dying some day."

"We don't want you to leave, Mama." Anais tighten her hug.

The couple fell silent. The two indeed talked about that earlier. They were talking about how happy and complete life felt...but then MC's mind wandered too far into the future and she voiced how worried she was about him and the girls when she dies. Though they don't know for sure, they've been told that their girls' lifespan will be closer to that of a full demon's, meaning that...MC's involvement in their lives will be such a small bit of time in comparison.

It was a heavy topic, one that they needed to discuss, but not one for their daughters' ears.

"Okay. Listen closely to Mama and Papa, okay, Baby Beans?"

Beel watched as the girls sniffled but nodded.

"We're sorry you heard that. Mama's gonna be here for a long time though, okay?"

"Yeah, Mama's right here." MC agreed, kissing both Anais and Arsenia's heads.

The ending will most definitely be bleak...but the present is a happy one. All of them need to focus on the now and not the far future, especially the girls.

Belphegor:

"Lilith, shut up!" Judas yelled at his sister.

It was too late though. Their mama's heart shattered and their dad was mad.

Belphie strode over to the kids and Judas stood in front of his sister.

"Dad, she didn't mean it--"

The sloth demon snaked his arms around his son and grabbed his daughter, picking her up before tossing her on couch, landing with a gentle bounce. The kids had been thrown on the couch by their dad and Unlce Beel plenty of times during playtime, but this time was different because their dad wasn't playing.

"You don't say stuff like that to your mom." He told his daughter. "Now what's your issue?"

The little girl crossed her arms with a 'hmph'!

Belphie huffed and looked to his son.

"Any clue why she said that?"

"Belphie, it's fine--"

"No, it's not fine, Butthead." He told MC. "They can't growing up thinking they can just talk to you like that."

He looked back to his son.

"Now, why'd she say it?"

The boy looked at his shoes.

"I can't tell you..."

"And why not?"

"'Cause it'll hurt you..."

Lilith's defiant expression fell into a worried pout.

The sloth demon raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me."

MC scooped up her son.

"Belphie, I said it's fine. Enough."

"Mommy, I'm sorry she made you sad." Judas mumbled into her neck.

"It's okay, baby." MC rubbed his back.

Belphie let out a long sigh before feeling his shirt be tugged on.

He looked down and saw Lilith staring up at him with tears in her eyes.

"We heard you tell Mommy that you're scared of the day she dies again...we asked Uncle Mammon what that meant and he said dying is when someone goes away and never comes back."

That dumbass. At least he didn't tell them anything about the first time...

Belphie plopped down on the couch next to his daughter and pulled her close.

"I-I don't want Mommy to go away." The little girl started crying harder. Judas started tearing up too.

Damn, the demon didn't know what to say. This...was a hard subject for him. Luckily, MC spoke up.

"I'm right here." She brought herself and Judas over to the couch and sat down. "I'm here now with you guys. You shouldn't just look forward like that when I'm right here...loving you three. And I'll always love you three."

"MC--"

"The future is a long ways out. Let's just enjoy today." She met her boyfriend's eyes as she said this.

It was obviously that it was just as much of a pep talk for the demon as it was their kids. Honestly, it wasn't really able to wipe away all of his worries but...it served as a wake up call to focus on the twins.

"You heard her." He pulled back and looked to both of his kids. "She's here now and that's what matters."

The sloth demon was pretty distant from his family for the rest of the night, mind stuck in that conversation. If only he could do as MC said and just live in the present. But he can't. He's so stuck in the past that he's honestly scared of the future.

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me second gen

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

Note

hi I'm back again. Anyways; as always you don't have to answer if you don't wish! How do you think the residents would react to a young Pureblood MC? (I'm talking about young like a minor.) With that Gen Z in a nutshell personality. Obviously no romantic feelings, just in your opinion how do you think they'd react? all of my questions are just "coincidentally" oddly specific aren't they, totally

Oh shit whaddup I love the idea of Gen Z MC!!! Young pureblood it is, here we go! I’m going to be moving from the assumption that they’re like Comte/Leo; very sympathetic to humanity and sometimes have existential crises (trauma babeyyyyyyyyy). As such, I’ll also be assuming she’s not super close to her family given she rejects the larger vampiric hierarchy/superiority paradigm, memes and modernity, all that jazz

I hope this fits the bill! c:

Under a cut bc is a lonnnnnnng boi~ Click after Napo to see everyone else’s! No explicit triggers that I’m aware of, but if anybody sees anything I missed feel free to let me know

Comte’s reaction:

Absolute baby, he has decided this is his grandchild--no he will not change his mind or take constructive criticism. Get’s ESPECIALLY concerned when he starts to see signs of that “nothing in life matters 😎” nihilism, but doesn’t pester them about it or becomes naggy. Growing up he had similar issues with the prospect of eternal life surrounded by creatures with a mortal lifespan, so he doesn’t judge. He’s more like nah we all hit that vibe, let’s see if we can get their mind off it c: I feel like Gen Z really understand and appreciate the importance of culture and art, so I feel like they would bond a ton over trips to museums/plays/concerts! Invites them to tea time if he ever sees them particularly silent (ah yes, repression) or particularly tired, and does his best to ensure their safety without being intrusive (has briefed the men to escort/accompany her as needed, though Sebas usually does it).

If he sees fangs out around baby he will thrash the shit out of the perpetrator--unless it’s an accident. No excuses. That’s a child. Doesn’t give a FUCK if they’re another pureblood even with all the arranged marriage bullshit. He said what he said. (Remember that biting between vampires or vampire + human relations is considered something that’s only done between intimate partners, so he is having none of that for a minor)

Leonardo’s reaction:

Also certified granddad, but he’s the one that enables shenanigans and is just like “oh worm” when it comes to the existential dread (it’s a Tuesday). At first though Leo is basically that meme like: (Stupidman = Leo, Maddie = MC)

Not all purebloods are necessarily dangerous, but most are either incredibly indifferent to the plight of others (especially humans) or actively range from like playing social mind games to being sociopathic murderers/etc. the list goes on. As such, Leonardo is suspicious to no end until he sees that the kid really doesn’t have any ill will in her. She jokes with Sebas (they quote vines on the daily) and works with him normally; even when Leo asks Sebas he’s just “????? bro she’s just my kouhai, thanks for worrying tho”. One day he’s tasked with escorting her to grab groceries and assorted things for the mansion, and she freezes in place before bolting across the street. Turns out she saw a kid trip in the road and fall, and a carriage was moving fast from the other side--it likely wasn’t going to be able to stop. She scoops up the kid and holds them close, and when the parents try to thank her profusely she just seems more uncomfortable with the praise than triumphant. She didn’t want the kid to get hurt. If she could do something about it, it was as simple as that.

From that point on they’re hella chill and hang out together, usually just bonding in silence. If they’re an artist, he’ll offer them pointers and technique manuals--will help however he can. If not, they’ll just be reading together in the library now and again. If she falls asleep, he’ll tuck her in and watch over her (cue red eye meme when the door opens, but then it’s just Vincent so he c:). He’ll often pay close attention to her eating habits to make sure nothing’s amiss with her health since she’s still a growing pureblood. If she struggles with what she is a lot (given she’s sympathetic to human beings) he’ll synchronize his Rouge drinking with hers to make sure she doesn’t starve herself ;-;. Even if she’s just forgetful about drinking/eating, he’ll do what he can to make her life easier (that’s how he shows his affection uwu)

He will, of course, also tease her about being a baby until she kicks him in the shin while Comte sighs and tells him to knock it off with a smack upside the head

Napoleon’s reaction:

Not granddad energy, but you better believe he’s in a weird territory between sheer admiration and “I am your older brother now, eat your vegetables” “But I don’t even need vegetables” “Eat your vegetables and I’ll take you to a crepe shop” “............deal”

Basically it’s unlikely MC is super close to her siblings or even has any (pureblood children are a rare feat) so she’s like......wary, but then she just ???? this is.....kinda nice? Just having somebody that cares in a chill way, but still fully encourages her to throw men across the street if they’re hurting women/children (high fives her every time). He’ll often invite her to the swordplay lessons with the kids alongside Isaac’s teaching; she’s free to join in the learning, or honestly just hang out with people closer to her age (he’s v concerned about her having friends that she can relate to and talk to freely).

Protective in a subtle way, like Leonardo. Escorts her places and helps her carry groceries without fail when Sebas is running other errands. She becomes his crepe shop cover buddy whenever he has an intense hankering for sweets: “wanna go to that crepe shop around the corner” “you’re just too chicken to go alone, fool” “do you want crepes or not nunuche” “............BOKBOKBOK” “aight that’s it **gives her a noogie**” (they go anyway and have a marvelous time rating the crepes from best to worst, they got a whole list goin’)

Glares Arthur down if he so much as LOOKS in her direction

Mozart’s reaction:

Mozart is just the “what is with this sassy, lost child?” meme. Doesn’t dislike them, but they are just not remotely threatened by his haughty disdain by any extension. And he HATES IT. The MC is always just “Okay, boomer” and he just ?????? He doesn’t know what it means but it’s openly dismissive, so he mad.

Like idk if y’all know this meme, but it’s the same energy as:

It’s only when he notices she’s always punctual and careful with his requests that he starts to warm up. For example, she makes him a mocha by combining the way he likes his coffee and hot cocoa to perfection when he falls asleep at his piano. (She feels bad for him after Comte explains because--though he’s got a stick up his butt--he’s clearly distressed in his new surroundings ;-; Plus, the kind of perfectionism Mozart exudes is an extension of internalized shame, and when she begins to see that she really shifts her approach.) As such, he begins to soften to her presence. He begins to see that she isn’t indifferent to his existence, it’s more that she sees no need for intimidation and believes admiration is earned (basic respect isn’t a privilege, it’s a right). When he figures that out, he stops being so barbed and terse--starts to relax. Offers to let her stay and listen to his pieces if she wants, and she’s honestly touched given his clear struggle with vulnerability. Cuddles with Schelm at the window as he plays, and they become good friends.

As a result, Mozart becomes fiercely protective despite her sturdier nature as a pureblood and has hissed venom at Arthur about the fact that she is off fucking limits. Doesn’t leave her alone in the same room as the other men unless it’s with Jeanne or Comte; he don’t trust like that.

Arthur’s reaction:

Sweating a lot at the sudden collection of baleful eyes sticking to his back everywhere he goes, but figures he brought it on himself to an extent. That being said, he can’t really get a word in edgewise given she just walks away when he tries to engage in conversation or compliment her.

Tough nut to crack this one, but he doesn’t let it discourage him. The only way she’ll give him the time of day is to play chess--and she kicks his ass soundly every single time. He’s fascinated by her extensive analytic ability, but she keeps silent about her strategies and thinking. Dazai and Theo always love to watch him get his ass handed to him, but he considers it a really interesting experience; it gives him insight into her mind, no matter how much she tries to hide. Patient, efficient, brutal--this kid has seen some shit, probably.

It’s after that point he just concedes she probably won’t let him in, though it doesn’t diminish his curiosity about the future; and perhaps traces of dread. What does the future look like for both her and Sebastian to be that stoic and aloof? It worries him...

Vincent’s reaction:

Vincent is v v impressed by her sense of self, and honestly sees a lot of Theo in her. She’s a little more reticent than Theo, but she has this same commitment to protecting the vulnerable and penetrating through the lies/shitty convictions of others. She is not a person who bends easily, but even so there’s a quiet kind of gentleness to her: she always chats to him v calmly, asks if he needs anything and is doing okay, doesn’t get impatient when he drops things or forgets his apron for the laundry. I think he would respond very positively to her presence, even if it wasn’t intentional. He just brightens up like a little sun and asks her out to picnics for fun; he has no greater intention than enjoying her smile and silly antics (he doesn’t always understand the references, but the way she executes it with so much dry wit--like Theo--makes him laugh). He just feels the warmth of family/familiarity around her ;~;

Ironically, they’re both exceedingly concerned for the other because they’re too self-sacrificing jkashlgdks like this is 100% a case of “I can’t let a young lady risk getting hurt” “Vincent I’m literally indestructible please just let me do this” “But it still hurts” “But I don’t want you to scar--” (This conversation extends so long that the author felt it would be more beneficial to add an etc. here).

He admires her and trusts in her abilities more due to the nature of her maturity, treats her like a cherished friend and sometimes younger sibling (not condescending but very indulgent; gives her the last of his sweets for example, or pats her on the head when she’s feeling gloomy--more of a wholesome puts her first). But make no mistake, he will throw hands in milliseconds if she gets ganged up on or can’t handle a threat--he just lets her handle most things bc she’s capable~

Isaac’s reaction:

Torn. Because on the one hand, she’s very serious and conscientious about her work--doesn’t want to inconvenience or trouble anyone--and he relates to that heavy.

HOWEVER.

She’s also got insanely chaotic energy when the mood strikes, so when Dazai starts doing his random shitfuckery you better believe MC is upping the ante. (I’m talking AH. ENSLAVED MOISTURE. levels). So Isaac essentially oscillates between thankful for her fortitude to bashing his head against a table for every second he knows her.

In all seriousness though, I would see Isaac as being pretty concerned. Like Vincent, they’re both self-sacrificing to a fault--and he doesn’t want that for her, especially given how young she is. Often tells her not to overdo it or to ask for help if she looks overwhelmed, though it’s not condemning; he says it softly with a neutral look on his face. (He considers it a Certified Mood^TM). He just wants to give back all the care she puts into helping around the house. He doesn’t feel right watching a kid work so hard without reminding her that she should find time to have fun and live for herself too. There will be plenty of time when she’s older to get serious.

He has a fairly easy time interacting with her because of his experience with kids; he takes her seriously (when she’s not clowning) and treats her autonomy with respect. If anything, she’s probably the protective one. She knows he’s an aberrant so she pays laser attention to when he’s suffering and brings him Rouge (not scared because she’s stronger than him and not human lmao, and she sees no need to put Sebastian at risk). When that uni pres pesters him, she goes cold and angry and asks the man to step off when she sees him start to downspiral. They’re essentially on equal footing (he has more life experience, she has more bodily strength/confidence). They're just chill and kind with each other (babies of the mansion, beloved by all).

Theodorus' reaction:

Because he is a manchild, he will be chill/generally indifferent until Vincent starts being indulgent with her (bro-con). He won't be violent or anything like that, but he will pout a storm and try to verbally shoo her away. Because she's a woman, intelligent, and likely a feminist--this will become hilarious because she will not remotely take him seriously. She will just ignore him or roast him in seconds before moving on with her day. Otherwise he doesn't care much because he doesn't have time to play babysitter (unless there's no one else to help).

At the most, he'll make sure she's safe and use the excuse that Vincent would be upset if he did anything less. If she likes/loves dogs and plays with King while she's there, he'll soften up and thank her for taking care of him. If she makes hella pancakes, he'll be the proudest about it--ruffling her hair. If she protects Vincent in any capacity, he'll be torn between jealous, grateful and impressed; he likes a kid that can hold their own and take responsibility within their abilities.

So their relationship is v much like a chill uncle with their niece; fond, but not necessarily super close or spend a ton of time together. He has his priorities, but he won't be an asshat (mostly).

Jeanne's reaction:

Jeanne is confused on so many levels. He doesn't dislike her spunk he's just staggered by her level of sheer reckless, righteous rage. (And he's a bit wary in the face of another pureblood as a potential enemy) but after a bit more time around her he relaxes. She's fairly simple to understand when you get to know her; cares about others to a fault, existential dread, overworks herself. Stays watchful, but he just treats her like the younger kids that Napoleon brings by the weapons shop when they need armor for practice. It can get a little funny because he’ll just be like “uhhhh uh kids like sweet stuff right? Here have some of the macaroons somebody brought by earlier, I don’t like ‘em that much anyway.” And she just “??? Thanks???” He doesn’t mind being around her, just doesn’t really know what to say so they often fall into comfortable silence after exchanging small talk. She likes that he isn’t complicated; what you see is what you get with Jeanne. It’s nice not to have to keep her guard up every second of the day,

When he sees her feeling particularly down, he’ll take her to that little field of white lilies behind the mansion during a full moon night. The silver light seems to make the petals emit an ethereal glow, and she makes him a flower crown in thanks. He listens kindly if she wants to talk, and if she doesn’t--that’s okay too; he’ll just give her a head pat.

Honestly he finds a lot of relief in the fact that she's a pureblood, because he feels less nervous about her being fragile or her getting fatally hurt when he’s not around. Will still be very gentle with her and protect her when she’s in proximity

Mission Status: Fucking Wholesome

Dazai’s reaction:

Big brother time? It’s big brother time!!!! He instantly makes it his subtle mission to look after her, though he’s v lowkey abt it. She takes one look at this depressed mofo climbing in through the window and just goes “aw yeah, this guy FUCKS” and they become besties at a glance. They basically make a game out of who can be the most absurd whenever they’re in the same room. Comte and Leo find it utterly hilarious, Napoleon is digging a grave for Isaac in the backyard (we all know his heart won’t be able to take it. Mozart is probably next. A moment of silence for our fallen.)

I just imagine them like that one post (@/acoolguy):

Dazai: You ever have to shake your leg because there’s a rock in it? MC: That’s your bones Dazai: Every day I learn some more

He’ll always share treats with her and brings her along for walks if she’s feeling wanderlust; he knows how hard it can be, how restless the heart becomes so far from home. He does his best to distract her with their ongoing jokes, but one day it starts raining very suddenly while they’re out. He rushes her under the nearest tree with broad, broad leaves and settles his haori/overcoat over her head. He looks incredibly serious as he looks to the sky--almost glowering at the dark clouds gathering, He doesn’t look at all like his usual fun-loving self in that split second, even though he’s back to his good-natured chirping “Guess we’ll just have to wait out the downpour. MC, are you cold? I should have been more careful.” She shakes her head and shares the coat with him, holding it out insistently until he relents. Their hands brush and she notices they’re freezing, but she doesn’t say anything. She seems to sense he has a lot on his mind, and leans her shoulder against his. The silence feels fragile; she doesn’t want to risk shattering it--shattering him. It is often said that it is an act of great courage to wipe away someone’s tears. But it can also be an act of great gentleness to turn away, to pretend one cannot see them fall (whether visible or not).

One day, after MC returns to her own time, Dazai returns to his room to find two shadows hanging from his window. Though a little crude--they’ve obviously been made by a beginner--it’s clear what they are. Rain ghosts. (Sebastian later explains it was MC’s wish that he have them, and Dazai only smiles very, very gently in response.)

Shakespeare’s reaction:

MC gets one look at him and knows something’s off. She can’t quite tell what it is, but he doesn’t feel like the rest of the family. She can sense something behind him, something lurking; but she can’t quite place it. (Comte has mentioned before that purebloods can sense each other, so I imagine MC knows right off the bat he isn’t a normal sired vampire--she just doesn’t know enough to identify exactly what it is.)

That being said, she is sus. He keeps talking like some kind of weird ass court jester/fae, and she hated his work when she had to do it for school (only enjoyed the Hamlet memes because, let’s be real, that shit is uproarious). When he tries to coax her to see Vlad with him, she says “'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.” And he just freezes in place before he starts laughing. Considers their battle of wills well-played, and warns her not to go out alone--doesn’t bother her again. Though sometimes enjoys listening to her conversations with others for good roast material. (No he is not taking notes, no this new chara is just fire and feral for no good reason--nothing to do with MC)

Sebastian’s reaction:

The l o r e, MC. Give him the forbidden pureblood lore. Will be incredibly curious and ask about what vampires are like outside of the mansion, for science of course. If he senses discomfort though his questions will die down completely--it’s not his intention to make her uncomfortable. He’s just curious!

Despite his stoicism he’s actually a very, very understanding and warm person. Will listen to any teenage jadedness or hopelessness with fond patience, recalling the days he was similar. He’ll offer what advice he can. He’s not one to be preachy, but if he sees someone at a loss, he’ll offer what he thinks might be a productive direction for them. Given her removal from her home and parents--even though she’s already well into high school--he’ll sympathize deeply with her position. Will be a firm but gentle guardian (hello Mansion Mom #2), offers her candy every time she does a chore exceptionally well or offers assistance without prompting. She’s sus and takes it reluctantly at first, but after she tries one in private secretly loves them. Sebas is just silently “you like krabby patties don’t you, squidward”. If she’s honest, she’s comforted by the sense of normalcy and care he gives, the harmless joking and easy respect for others (unless otherwise provoked).

When she finds out about his hobby considers him to be a Fucking Nerd^TM and wants to shove him into a locker, but in reality is endeared by how much he genuinely cares about the men. She thinks it’s a harmless fascination, and she senses the oddest...ephemerality about him. Because of this, she becomes pretty protective; he’s a human and he’s too nice for his own good. While she identifies in one sense, she worries in another. Pureblood are sturdy, but humans can’t necessarily sustain that kind of constant self-giving for long...

Also bc my tag game too strong adding it here: #i love the prospect of pureblood MC trying to bring Sebas and Napo together #MC: bruh i got this #Sebas, full of gay panic: wait, MC nO--

Meme tl;dr in the tags also for your enjoyment! I’m sorry this one took a little longer than most to finish!

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp headcanons #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jeanne #ikevamp jean #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp sebastian #gen z pureblood mc #i had a lot of fun writing this! I hope this met your expectations friend! c:#comte and leo: uwu grandparents #mozart: okay BOOMER #napo: HAHAHA shithead siblings i love it #arthur and shakes: wouldn't you like to know weather boy. 'where are your parents??' (parts one and two)#vincent and isaac: BRUH S A M E S I E S #theo: **meme voice** 'is there anything worse than a rapist?' BOOM 'a child.' 'N O!'#jeanne: endearing but out of touch uncle while dazai is WOOOOO LET'S DRINK BLEACH uncle #sebastian: ah yes ty for the modicum of brain cells and competence that also shatters gender norms my good bi bitch #**Gilligan's cut to MC and Dazai wearing sunglasses and matching hats that read 'i put the (me) in disappointment'**

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deaddee-anime-brownfanlady · 3 years

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LOKI THE SERIES : An Overview and Finale Critical Thoughts. ( Old views of the Loki series that I've been quickly changed on and no longer feel or care anymore about this show )

So having just finished pretty recently watched the Loki series a couple of a few weeks ago, which by the way I seriously loved and enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would ( So Hype for season 2!). I want to lay down my gather feelings and thoughts on this show in terms of the good stuff on it & also aspects of the show I have issues with, So let's get into it. Starting with Loki as a character and his overall growth and development. Now I’ve kind of always enjoyed and liked Loki as this very interesting but also compelling flawed character within the MCU, I’ve never really truly saw him as being this stereotypical , generic , super Evil like your stranded Black & White villain archetype that you see sometimes within other movies or media dealing with superheroes or villains or your classic GOOD GUYS only vs. BAD GUYS only kind of setting, I always saw and felt that his character has way more complexity to it in terms of mortality & nuances or how he is overall. Tom Hiddleston himself has said in interviews that Loki is just very real deeply misunderstood instead of simply being evil, and said that one of the reasons why he does things the way he does or the way he is, is mainly due to him feeling unloved also unworthy as well as not being valued enough compare to his brother Thor...Oh & also largely due to bad parenting mainly from Odin (also a little bit of Frigga too, while she very much was a caring, loving sweet mother towards Loki & all I think that just simply loving your kids isn’t just enough...nor will it erase years worth of internal rooted childhood issues / scarring emotional baggage of having been lied about what you are or feeling like no one truly gives a shit about you and views you as the “lesser Prince” of your society and those apart of it completely disrespect you and already hates your guts). I mean for real though I feel at least most of what Loki been through especially growing up in Asgard probably & most likely wasn’t no sunshine and gumdrops for him, its no wonder why that he got no into the many fucked up issues he’s has now.

So when I first heard about also kept seeing reaction videos or commercials on the Loki series, I just had to jump on the bandwagon and see what’s this show is really like and how a series on Loki would actually work? One of the many things I loved about this series is how Loki is showcasing such major extra vulnerability in terms of him admitting to his own faults and his inner weaknesses of always seeking & wanting control or validation, which to be honest I think is due to some sort of inferiority / superiority complex he has, also my other favorite parts of the show is the amazing & awesome chemistry growing friendship as well as partnership between him and Mobius.

I still seriously wished there could’ve been more bonding and enjoyable buddies-cops also that odd couple vibe moments between these guys within the show, I'm glad for the scenes we did got such as the humorous Pompeii scene or the intense but still entertaining but also pretty real emotional theater interrogating scene with Mobius seriously digging into Loki and tearing into his core ( Which was really messed up by the way & a bit hard to watch on certain levels due to the intensity of it also seeing Loki getting so upset & due to the false claims Mobius has said ) and completely getting underneath his skin or better yet the scene were Loki is just peacefully napping in front of Mobius, which really shows how comfortable he is around him to be able to do that. I know that with just only six episodes that they had to hurry on up with the plot also overall storyline within the series...like I get that, but it still would’ve been nice to have more episodes dealing with the already great chemistry these two dorks already got and to see them just having mini-time detectives adventures together. My other favorites within this show would be Ravonna Renslayer also Hunter B-15, it always good & awesome to see central well done black women characters just being of importance and having more to there characters then just being a token or some racial stereotype and such, really loved Casey & hope to see more of him as well as Miss minutes too who’ve I’ve also really enjoyed in terms of the good animation on her and all.

Now on towards aspects of the show I seriously have problems with...especially in terms of the whole Sylki situation and other issues I have with parts of the show writing. Now first of all I truly really don’t have an major problem with the whole Selfcest thing when it comes to this pairing like others fans would...although I can totally understand why others would have issues with this pairing and I can get were there coming from, but for me I don’t like the unhealthy , toxic , bad implications of Sylvie & Loki because its like saying that no one else can ever truly fully love Loki unless its basically a female version of himself which when you really think about it is pretty messed up, but for real this is Loki were talking about here. Like the man got no into the many deep emotional also probably mental too, but mostly very deep emotional scarring issues as well as a lot of other fucked up baggage for a god that aren’t just only major daddy issues. So him developing feelings for Sylvie through out half of the show wasn’t too shocking to me, honestly I felt that him being into Sylvie could also be a symbolic metaphor for himself to finally start loving who he is and just love being just him as well as realize that he’s actually is worthy of loving also seeing his own self worth. But I deeply felt the whole “Romance” angle they took with Sylvie & Loki to me just so screams lazy, generic, kind of bad heteronormative forced writing of having these two super hot and sexy White Male & Female actors / actresses on screen with each other and Hey! Lets just have them hook up within the movie or show even if they’ve only known each other for over a hour or so simply due to them just being a hot man also a hot woman together.

Considering that Sylvie just straight up betrayed Loki in the finale & very much deeply hurt him thus doing so, I highly don’t think that’s a good standing for any kind of resemblance of a healthy relationship. Honestly it’s just doesn’t make any sense at all from both a writing perspective but also a logical perspective for them to be in any kind of romantic relationship of any sort with each other. Sylvie basically betrayed and used Loki for her own “Glorious purpose” to get her long waited revenge by killing Kang also at the time fucking up the timelines and her refusal to listen to what Loki had to say about that whole situation within that scene. Like am not trying to sound like a hater or some kind of “crazed blind obsessed Fangirl ” here, I’m seriously looking at this from a very critical point of view of the series with its writing as a whole & while I do super love Sylvie as a character, I truly don’t think she had that strong of feelings for Loki in the first place. Whatever happens in season 2 I can see them probably making up and reconnecting with each other again…but not in a romantic way considering Loki would most likely still be very emotionally broken up also messed up by her betrayal in the finale episode. Also other issues with the show I didn’t cared for is the so-called “genderfluid rep” that was talked about and kind of pretty hype up within different articles dealing with it or praising the writing team on it. While I may not be genderfluid myself...but I think that if your writing about anything dealing with a character sexuality and gender identity / race also culture or when it comes to dealing with themes or subject matter you aren’t yourself to familiar with on, then its best to get people who are from that specific minority group who can give you better insights how to properly represent them within a piece of media , like I’m not sure why they couldn’t just get a genderfluid writer or have more then one genderfluid person apart of the writing team to better showcase Loki genderfluidity which I feel shouldn’t be that hard because I know within the comics that Loki is canonically genderfluid.

Also on that Bisexual confession ( Which wasn’t all that’s super surprising really) I find it interesting that after Loki says that he prefer both genders is how just after that confession is how he seems to become extra highly into Sylvie after that, Like am not sure were I’m going with this bit but I felt that very same scenario could’ve easily been done in a similar scene with Mobius if there were more light-hearted bonding developing moments between them within the series. But considering how Disney is as a company behind close doors when it comes to anything dealing with Gay or any LGBTQ related stuff…am not super sure if they’ll take that path within the second season. So my finale thoughts on Loki the series is that I very much still enjoyed and liked this show despite some of the flaws also pretty real bad issues it has but overall am so fucking Hype also super excited for season 2 and deeply hope from a writing standpoint that the series won’t take a awful nosedive; especially dealing with the whole Loki & Sylvie aftermath and how they’ll decide to handle their supposed reconciliation with each other as well as when it comes to the rest of the plot too.

But either way I’m elated to see what season 2 Loki has in store and what’s next for the God of Mischief and his ongoing story thus far.

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takaraphoenix · 3 years

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Ofc I'm excited for the new chapter phoe, I am so starved for Jason content that even the suggestion that I'm going to get some (esp QUALITY Jason content like urs) makes me unbelievably giddy and I'm fr checking my phone to see when it's gonna be update time in ur timezone 🥺✨

Oh gosh, you're so sweet. Your messages always delight me a lot and since Jason took kind of a backseat today in favor of the build up of the secret reveal, yooou get a small, Jason-focused flash-forward into their future. ;) also because I actually have time to write again fdklghaöklh

Sky-blue eyes were large as they quickly flew over the words in front of him. His mouth was in a small oh-shape as he absorbed every little bit of information that was given to him. And then it just ended.

To Be Continued...

No, no, no. That couldn't possibly be! This was too exciting, it couldn't just end like that! His sister next to him made a squealing sound as she also reached the ending. She grabbed the comic book out of his hand and tried turning the page, hoping against hope there would be more.

"No, no, no," she whined frustrated and threw herself back onto the bed.

After a moment, her brother mirrored her. The two groaned and whined until their current babysitter walked in, a frown on his face. He brushed hazel-hair out of his face.

"What's gotten into you lot?"

"The comic ends, uncle Tyson! It just ends! And the next issue won't come out until next month, but it just got really, really exciting!" he heard his sister complain.

"Grace is right! This isn't fair. Cliffhangers are unlawful and inhumane!"

Tyson laughed and approached the bed to sit down between his niece and nephew. "I think I gotta talk to your parents about your definition of unlawful and inhumane, Jacky."

Jackson huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, pout in place and sky-blue eyes dark like a brewing storm. When it darkened in the room and rumbling could be heard from outside, Tyson frowned concerned and cleared his throat.

"You guys do know that you could just... ask your parents, right? They were right there. They know exactly how all of this unfolded," offered Tyson.

He took the comic-book - issue 13 of The Adventures of the New Olympians - and closed it to hold up the cover, where Jason di Angelo was standing heroically in his Blue Lightning uniform, fighting a giant space-octopus. Jackson frowned and turned to look at his sister.

"I dunno", admitted Grace. "Dad is like... dad. Not Blue Lightning. Dad sings bad old boyband songs in the shower and steals daddy's blue cookies and baby-talks to Mrs. O'Leary."

"Yeah. These comics are totally fiction, uncle Tyson", agreed Jackson seriously. "Dad's a total dork, not a superhero! He isn't like daddy and papa."

Tyson huffed a little at that, fond smile on his lips. "He isn't now. But when push comes to shove, he always got our back in a fight. Because he could never bear standing aside if his family gets hurt. Go and ask him about it, mh."

"Tyson? Where are you?", called his wife from somewhere else. "Jason is here to pick up the kids!"

"Ah, your cue, pipsqueaks", Tyson grinned and ruffled both their hair.

Grace quickly grabbed her Wisdom Warrior doll, while Jackson took the comic book, both kids quickly running out the room and downstairs. Grace just lept off a few steps before the end of the stairs, jumping straight into her dad's awaiting arms. Jason was smiling softly, hugging her tightly. Her blonde curls bounced as he whirled her around once.

"Hey there, kids. Had fun with uncle Tyson and auntie Ella?"

"Ye--es", chorused Jackson and Grace.

"Thanks for watching them, guys", Jason turned to offer Tyson and Ella a small, grateful smile. "With Perce and Nico still in Canada about that... maple syrup fuled robot apocalypse... it's been kind of stressful. And then Thabi got into trouble at school and-"

"No need to explain, or to thank us", assured Tyson, patting his brother-in-law on the back. "That's what brothers are for, Jay. We got your back. Besides, we love those two."

With a last smile aimed at the couple, Jason herded the twins out of the house and toward the car. He made sure their seatbelts were fastened before he got in the driver's seat and started the car. In the rear-mirror, he could see the twins whispering with each other, but neither speaking up. He decided against asking, for now. They'd tell him whatever was on their minds when they were ready.

Once at home, both of the kids ran off to their rooms and Jason was so busy with things around the house that he nearly forgot about the kids' strange behavior. That's what they got for having a ridiculously big house and stables, but then again, they did need the grounds to allow their companions enough space to roam free. He'd just finished feeding Tempest and Blackjack when the twins suddenly stood behind him, serious, matching frowns on their faces.

"We have come to the agreement that we should ask you", declared Grace.

A nine-year-old with pigtails had no right to look this serious. Jason smiled a little at that, nodding and waiting for more.

"We know that daddy and papa are superheroes", continued Jackson as the three headed back toward the house. "But you aren't! You're just... dad. Right?"

"Ouch", Jason huffed out a little laugh. "Just dad, huh?"

"I mean, you're normal, like us", corrected Grace with a frown, motioning at the posters at the walls when they entered the living room. "You're only a hero on the big screen! Not in real life!"

The smile on Jason's lips turned more nostalgic. His dorky, dorky husbands had decided to plaster every wall that wasn't filled with family pictures with posters of his movies. Right now, Grace was motioning very decidedly at The Twelve Tasks of Hercules. Hercules was his most popular role, a fictional superhero clearly supposed to be the son of Zeus but never actually name-dropping Zeus in the movie series. Or the spin-off TV show. It had spanned a whole cinematic universe about fictional superheroes after they had introduced Theseus, a water-powered superhero who was a thinly veiled homage to Percy, in one of the movies. Theseus got his own solo-movie, then a sequel and over the years, they had established more and more heroes in this universe. Jason was so incredibly proud of it, not just because he played the hero who started it all, but because he was also creatively involved; he had pitched the character of Theseus.

Sitting down on the couch, he let his eyes wander just a little. A poster of his first big breakout role as Jace Herondale in a TV show adaptation of The Mortal Instruments... naturally, Percy had chosen the poster where Jason posed shirtless, showing off the runes.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?", asked Jason softly.

"I wanna take over granny's bakery", declared Jackson with a puffed-out chest. "I'll learn all of her recipes and become the best baker in all of New York."

"I dunno, dad. I'm nine", huffed Grace with a pointed look. "Maybe I'll become a great fashion designer like auntie Silena! Or a teacher like auntie Annabeth. Or president. Or astronaut. Oh! Or doctor."

"Okay, okay", Jason interrupted her, laughing. "But neither of you wants to become a superhero like your dads?"

The twins exchanged a silent look before shaking their heads and Jackson answered. "No. It looks scary. It looks cool to watch but I'd be super scared."

Jason nodded slowly. "But if Gracie was in danger, like really, really scary danger, what would you do?"

"I'd help her!", exclaimed Jackson immediately, grabbing his sister's hand.

The smile on Jason's lips grew some. "Being a hero is really, really scary and really, really dangerous. And I never-ever wanted to be a hero. I'm not as brave as your dads when it comes to that. But when there is something very big and dangerous that your dads can't handle on their own, I'll put my own fears aside. Because you know what is just... so much scarier than being a hero? It'd be if something happened to your dads. And I couldn't help."

He knew their kids were under no illusions; they knew Nico and Percy led dangerous lives and they knew something could happen to them. Nico had already been hospitalized for a longer period of time a few years ago.

"So when they really need me, I'll be very brave to help them."

"So... So this is really real?", asked Grace softly, holding up the comic-book.

Jason snorted a little at the extremely overdone hero-pose he was striking on the cover. "It's... more or less real. There's some... made-up stuff there, because those who write these comics, they only had the news coverage to go by, they weren't actually there when we met in private and planned and talked. But yes, that happened."

Jackson straightened up at that and took the comic from his sister to open it on the last page, putting it down on Jason's lap and very decidedly pointing at the To Be Continued in the lower corner.

"How's it end!?", asked Jackson eagerly. "We don't wanna wait!"

"Ye--es! Did you save the day? Did you rescue daddy when he got abducted by the alien octopus?", wanted Grace to know, eyes large.

Laughing to himself, Jason leaned back against the couch and opened his arms, both his kids immediately snuggling up to him and eagerly awaiting the story. Jason wasn't the greatest story-teller in the family, Piper was the author, but he did his best to actually tell the story as exciting as possible. He talked and talked for over an hour and by the end of the story, both twins were deep asleep. Asleep on him, not giving him a chance to move from the couch either. Though he was tired too, so he closed his eyes, just for a second.

"I'm de--ead", groaned Percy softly and something shifted.

Jason blinked sleepily, turning his head toward the source of the voice. His face lit up when he saw Percy snuggled up to Grace from behind. When he turned toward his other side, he saw Nico behind Jackson.

"I'm sorry we were both gone, amore", whispered Nico as he leaned over to kiss Jason sweetly. "It was an all-hands-on-deck situation..."

"You don't have to explain", Jason smiled faintly. "You're the leaders of the Olympians. They rely on you. Especially now with all the newbies, they need your guidance."

"Yeah, but we promised you we'd step back some", Percy sighed frustrated.

"You can't control when a weird Canadian wants to start the robot- apocalypse", Jason chuckled amused. "I'm proud of you both. And you have been stepping back a lot."

Percy hummed in agreement, eyes slowly closing as he rested his head on Jason's shoulder. Within moments, he was out cold. So the entire family was going to sleep on the couch today, mh?

"How did your meeting go?", asked Nico, sounding sleepy.

"Good. I mean. Really good. The studio is still so stubbornly thinking that female superheroes won't sell, but we finally pushed through. We got the Helen of Troy spin-off greenlit", replied Jason with a puffed out chest.

Nico smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "Good. I'm proud of you."

And then he yawned and snuggled closer to Jason. It filled Jason with warmth to just sit here, with his husbands and children, in their home. Safe and happy. Yes, he worried for Nico and Percy when they were out there, but he also knew that this was their dream and they loved their job. And ever since the twins had been born, the two really had stepped back, leading from the headquarters and training new heroes, only going out themselves if it was an emergency and the others needed help. Jason couldn't be mad about that, wouldn't want to be either, because he could never resent his husbands for living their dream - they had, after all, always supported Jason and his dream. Even when Jason would be in another country for months filming a movie, they never complained, they took care of the kids and were proudly at his side during the premieres.

"I love you two", whispered Jason, carefully kissing the top of Nico's head on one of his shoulders and the top of Percy's head on the other. "My heroes."

#Jercico #Fic: The Legacy of the Big Three #Jason Grace #Fanfiction #Phoe's Tumblr Drabbles #mmmh does that count? yeha I guess

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bluboothalassophile · 3 years

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#21 from your prompt list jayrae with kids . The children drawer horrible drawings but they still hang it up anyway because they love them

Hello,

Okay few things before you guys start reading this.

1. It’s set in HfaB Universe, not really spoilers but just in case, yes it’s spoilers.

2. I don’t see HfaB JayRae having children, however, they do have all of Jay’s family which is a boatload and a half of kids of various ages because in HfaB they did really adopt the ‘It Takes a Village’ aspect of family because they’re so big. Also, I just cannot see those two ever having children, just doesn’t strike me as something they’d want or strive to have.

3. Barbara Gordon Married Luke Fox at some undetermined point of HfaB, which is important to know because they adopted Carrie Kelley and Nell Little and later had joint custody over Thomas Grayson-Gordon-Fox with Dick.

Jack Bollocks...

Jason and Raven were probably the only ‘kid-less’ couple in his family. And he would say that loosely. Jason’s family was obscenely large, and while he didn’t think it was because of a lack of birth control it was definitely a lack of adoption impulse control. Which was fine, it was fine, it was family, and his family was huge and diverse and that was fine.

But now there were a hoard of kids he always seemed to have on hand and he wasn’t a dad, and Raven wasn’t a mom. And Jason knew, not even a month into their marriage, they weren’t likely to have any children of their own, which was fine by him, and Raven never brought up the matter as an issue.

See, as a demoness, part mortal and part divine, a granddaughter of Death and God, Raven was infertile, she would not have a child in the traditional way, and Jason was fine with that. And between them, they had both not been inclined to adopt a child because his family was already huge, Jason had several orphanages and safe havens, and had restructured the fostering system in Gotham to such a point that he was mainly involved with kids already, they just didn’t feel a need to have kids.

At the end of the day, it was just him and just Rae, and they kind of liked that about them.

Still, for not having any kids, there was so much kid art on his fridge that he was genuinely concerned for space. And today was proving that as he held Luke and Bab’s daughter in his arms, and the other one clung to his leg.

Nell Little was an orphan that Luke and Babs had fostered and adopted, she was abandoned in Gotham’s system. Jason loved his ‘niece’ fiercely, but she was at the art stage, and as he was a babysitter most frequently, that meant he had the art that was ‘for him’ and not ‘for mom and dad’ put on his fridge. Her older sister, Carrie Kelly, was clinging to his leg and snickering like this was a challenge he would fail, which was irritating. Carrie, for not being genetically related to Babs, had a lot of Babs traits. Their elder brother wasn’t helping matters because he was laughing to himself as he played on his phone. Thomas Grayson-Gordon-Fox was the interdimensional child product of Barbara and Dick from another dimension somewhere in the dark multi-verse who had been sent here for sanctuary purposes; Jason honestly didn’t think Tommy even knew he was from another dimension he’d been here so long.

“Jay?” Nell whimpered as she stared at his fridge.

“I’m gonna put it up, I just need to find the perfect spot so we can admire it!” he promised.

“T’eres no room!” Nell sobbed.

“Raven!” Jason shouted for his wife who materialized from no where and floated over his shoulder.

“Yes?” she drawled out.

“Where would be a good spot to display this?” he asked.

“Oh, lovely, is that a blue sun?” Raven asked Nell.

“It’s the ocean!” Nell quipped happily.

“Yeah, Rae, obviously that’s the ocean!” he defended playfully.

“My mistake,” she chuckled. “Um… how about we start a wall?” Raven offered.

“Alright,” he agreed, and he saw Carrie pouting which had her big brother laughing. Jason found a wall on his warehouse to tack up Nell’s painting and looked at his wife for help. “We’ll put it uptop so that way we can fill this whole wall,” he assured her.

“REALLY!” Nell gasped excitedly.

“Of course. Family wall of art,” he stated.

“It’ll be lovely,” Raven chuckled as she came back down to land beside him.

“It’ll look like a Jackson Pollock painting, but what the hell,” he sighed.

“Who Jack Bollocks?” Nell whispered in his ear.

“Famous artist,” Raven answered for him.

“Oh, so… we…artists?” the toddler asked.

“That’s right sweetie, you are,” Jay agreed. “Go paint us another painting and we’ll get to filling up this wall.”

“YAY!” Nell scrambled down and ran for the paints with Carrie, Tommy rolled his eyes and followed.

“It’s so ugly,” he whispered.

Raven laughed as she leaned on him.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but none of us, except Dami, are artistic!” he muttered.

“Jay,” she laughed. “Maybe we should have your other relatives join and diverse-ify the wall of art?” she offered. “Terry’s not bad with sketching, and Mar'i makes those beautiful abstract patterns.”

“Rae, we will lose this warehouse if we let the rugrats take over,” he pointed out.

“Jay, we already lost this warehouse to your rugrats, that’s why we have Massachusetts,” she pointed out.

“Oh, and what are you thinking?” he asked as he smiled a bit.

“Long weekend, just us,” she murmured.

“I like that idea,” he agreed. “Should be able to get my family to wrangle their kids into place.”

“Mmm, that’s a lot of kids,” she chuckled.

“They really need to work on their adoption impulses, I mean all my birth control jokes are out the window because of the lack of adoption impulses,” he grumbled.

Raven was laughing hard against him which had him smiling as he slung his arm around her shoulders.

“Jason, it’s a good thing you can’t make the birth control jokes,” she mused. “Besides, found families are precious, and that makes your family special in ways no one will ever understand.”

“Yeah, richest, large family in the states,” he mused. “We’re bigger than the Kardashians!”

“See, good things,” she mused.

“I can see the reality show now. ‘Keeping up with the Bats!’, it’d drive people insane,” he mused.

“Especially when they see the kid art,” she mused. “It’s like the shrink ink blobs,” she pointed out.

He smiled as he kept from laughing.

“In all seriousness though, it is lovely, even if it’s horrible,” she assured him. “I think it livens up our home.”

“And the perpetual chaos doesn’t do that already!?”

“No, that’s just a byproduct of Bats.”

#bluboothalassophile #fanfic #raven #jason todd #jayrae #redrae #raex

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kookie-doughs · 3 years

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Y/N L/N AND THE HALFBLOODS

Percy Jackson X Reader

-Y/N L/N met Percy Jackson and everything was now ruined.

CHAPTER 15: Spiders Aren't Water Proof

The next afternoon, June 14, seven days before the solstice, our train rolled into Denver. We hadn't eaten since the night before in the dining car, somewhere in Kansas. We hadn't taken a shower since Half-Blood Hill, and I was sure that was obvious. "Let's try to contact Chiron," Annabeth said. "I want to tell him about your talk with the river spirit." "We can't use phones, right?" "I'm not talking about phones." We wandered through downtown for about half an hour, though I wasn't sure what Annabeth was looking for. The air was dry and hot, which felt weird after the humidity of St. Louis. Everywhere we turned, the Rocky Mountains seemed to be staring at me, like a tidal wave about to crash into the city. Finally we found an empty do-it-yourself car wash. We veered toward the stall farthest from the street, keeping our eyes open for patrol cars. We were four adolescents hanging out at a car wash without a car; any cop worth his doughnuts would figure we were up to no good. "What exactly are we doing?" Percy asked, as Grover took out the spray gun. "It's seventy-five cents," he grumbled. "I've only got two quarters left. Annabeth?" "Don't look at me," she said. "The dining car wiped me out." I fished out my last bit of change and passed Grover a quarter, which left me two nickels and one drachma from Medusa's place. "Excellent," Grover said. "We could do it with a spray bottle, of course, but the connection isn't as good, and my arm gets tired of pumping." "What are you talking about?" He fed in the quarters and set the knob to FINE MIST. "I-M'ing." "Instant messaging?" "Iris-messaging," Annabeth corrected. "The rainbow goddess Iris carries messages for the gods. If you know how to ask, and she's not too busy, she'll do the same for half-bloods." "You summon the goddess with a spray gun?" Grover pointed the nozzle in the air and water hissed out in a thick white mist. "Unless you know an easier way to make a rainbow."

Sure enough, late afternoon light filtered through the vapor and broke into colors. Annabeth held her palm out to me. "Drachma, please." I handed it over. She raised the coin over her head. "O goddess, accept our offering." She threw the drachma into the rainbow. It disappeared in a golden shimmer. "Half-Blood Hill," Annabeth requested. For a moment, nothing happened. Then I was looking through the mist at strawberry fields, and the Long Island Sound in the distance. We seemed to be on the porch of the Big House. Standing with his back to us at the railing was a sandy-haired guy in shorts and an orange tank top. He was holding a bronze sword and seemed to be staring intently at something down in the meadow. "Luke!" I called. He turned, eyes wide. I could swear he was standing three feet in front of me through a screen of mist, except I could only see the part of him that appeared in the rainbow. "Y/N!" His scarred face broke into a grin. "Is that Annabeth and Percy, too? Thank the gods! Are you guys okay?" "We're... uh... fine," Annabeth stammered. She was madly straightening her dirty T-shirt, trying to comb the loose hair out of her face. "We thought—Chiron—I mean—" "He's down at the cabins." Luke's smile faded. "We're having some issues with the campers. Listen, is everything cool with you? Is Grover all right?" "I'm right here," Grover called. He held the nozzle out to one side and stepped into Luke's line of vision. "What kind of issues?" Just then a big Lincoln Continental pulled into the car wash with its stereo turned to maximum hip-hop. As the car slid into the next stall, the bass from the subwoofers vibrated so much, it shook the pavement. "Chiron had to—what's that noise?" Luke yelled. "I'll take care of it.'" Annabeth yelled back, looking very relieved to have an excuse to get out of sight. "Grover, come on! "What?" Grover said. "But—" "Give Percy the nozzle and come on!" she ordered. Grover muttered something about girls being harder to understand than the Oracle at Delphi, then he handed me the spray gun and followed Annabeth. Percy readjusted the hose so we could keep the rainbow going and still see Luke. "Chiron had to break up a fight," Luke shouted to me over the music. "Things are pretty tense here, guys. Word leaked out about the Zeus—Poseidon standoff. We're still not sure how—probably the same scumbag who summoned the hellhound. Now the campers are starting to take sides. It's shaping up like the Trojan War all over again. Aphrodite, Ares, and Apollo are backing Poseidon, more or less. Athena is backing Zeus." In the next stall, I heard Annabeth and some guy arguing with each other, then the music's volume decreased drastically. "So what's your status?" Luke asked us. "Chiron will be sorry he missed you." We told him pretty much everything, including Percy's dreams. It felt so good to see him, to feel like I was back at camp even for a few minutes, that I didn't realize how long I had talked until the beeper went off on the spray machine, and I realized I only had one more minute before the water shut off. "I wish I could be there," Luke told me. "We can't help much from here, I'm afraid, but listen... it had to be Hades who took the master bolt. He was there at Olympus at the winter solstice. I was chaperoning a field trip and we saw him." "But Chiron said the gods can't take each other's magic items directly." "That's true," Luke said, looking troubled. "Still... Hades has the helm of darkness. How could anybody else sneak into the throne room and steal the master bolt? You'd have to be invisible." We were both silent, until Luke seemed to realize what he'd said. "Oh, hey," he protested. "I didn't mean Annabeth. She and I have known each other forever. She would never... I mean, she's like a little sister to me." I wondered if Annabeth would like that description. In the stall next to us, the music stopped completely. A man screamed in terror, car doors slammed, and the Lincoln peeled out of the car wash. "You'd better go see what that was," Luke said. "Listen, has the knife come in handy?" "Very..." I smiled. "The knife is really perfect." "And Percy, are you wearing the flying shoes? I'll feel better if I know they've done you some good." "Oh... uh, yeah!" Percy tried not to sound like a guilty liar. "Yeah, they've come in handy." "Really?" He grinned. "They fit and everything?" The water shut off. The mist started to evaporate. "Well, take care of yourself out there in Denver," Luke called, his voice getting fainter. "And tell Grover it'll be better this time! Nobody will get turned into a pine tree if he just—" But the mist was gone, and Luke's image faded to nothing. We were alone in a wet, empty car wash stall. Annabeth and Grover came around the corner, laughing, but stopped when they saw our face. Annabeth's smile faded. "What happened, Percy? What did Luke say?" "Not much," Percy lied. "Come on, let's find some dinner." A few minutes later, we were sitting at a booth in a gleaming chrome diner. All around us, families were eating burgers and drinking malts and sodas. Finally the waitress came over. She raised her eyebrow skeptically. "Well?" I said, "We, um, want to order dinner." "You kids have money to pay for it?" Grover's lower lip quivered. I was afraid he would start bleating, or worse, start eating the linoleum. Annabeth looked ready to pass out from hunger. I was trying to think up a sob story for the waitress when a rumble shook the whole building; a motorcycle the size of a baby elephant had pulled up to the curb. All conversation in the diner stopped. The motorcycle's headlight glared red. Its gas tank had flames painted on it, and a shotgun holster riveted to either side, complete with shotguns. The seat was leather—but leather that looked like... well, Caucasian human skin. The guy on the bike would've made pro wrestlers run for Mama. He was dressed in a red muscle shirt and black jeans and a black leather duster, with a hunting knife strapped to his thigh. He wore red wraparound shades, and he had the cruelest, most brutal face I'd ever seen— handsome, I guess, but wicked—with an oily black crew cut and cheeks that were scarred from many, many fights. The weird thing was, I felt like I'd seen his face somewhere before. As he walked into the diner, a hot, dry wind blew through the place. All the people rose, as if they were hypnotized, but the biker waved his hand dismissively and they all sat down again. Everybody went back to their conversations. The waitress blinked, as if somebody had just pressed the rewind button on her brain. She asked us again, "You kids have money to pay for it?" The biker said, "It's on me." He slid into our booth, which was way too small for him, and crowded Annabeth against the window. He looked up at the waitress, who was gaping at him, and said, "Are you still here?" He pointed at her, and she stiffened. She turned as if she'd been spun around, then marched back toward the kitchen. The biker looked at me. I couldn't see his eyes behind the red shades. Who did this guy think he was? He gave me a wicked grin. "So you're the unclaimed kid, huh? No wonder they're arguing over who your parent is." I squinted at him, "The hell does my parents have to do with this?" "Well, which ever stuck up your parent is, the big guys upstairs are angry for interfering with your life." He said and placed his dirty boots on the table. "Your parent raised you with your mortal idiots, that's why no one can smell you." I could tell Annabeth wanted to say something but she probably was processing what this guy said. "Don't call my parents idiot. And I only have two parents, it's M/N and D/N L/N." I glared. I was confused as to why an Olympian would raise me and it'd hide my scent. Shouldn't it make worse? "Sure thing." He then turned to Percy who was beside me. "And old seaweed's kid." "What's it to you?" Percy spat. Annabeth's eyes flashed him a warning. "Percy, this is—" The biker raised his hand. "S'okay," he said. "I don't mind a little attitude. Long as you remember who's the boss. You know who I am, little cousin?" Then it struck me why this guy looked familiar. He had the same vicious sneer as some of the kids at Camp Half-Blood, the ones from cabin five. "You're Clarisse's dad," Percy said. "Ares, god of war." Ares grinned and took off his shades. Where his eyes should've been, there was only fire, empty sockets glowing with miniature nuclear explosions. "That's right, punk. I heard you broke Clarisse's spear." "She was asking for it." "Probably. That's cool. I don't fight my kids' fights, you know? What I'm here for—I heard you were in town. I got a little proposition for you." The waitress came back with heaping trays of food—cheeseburgers, fries, onion rings, and chocolate shakes. Ares handed her a few gold drachmas. She looked nervously at the coins. "But, these aren't..." Ares pulled out his huge knife and started cleaning his fingernails. "Problem, sweetheart?" The waitress swallowed, then left with the gold. "You can't do that," I told Ares. "You can't just threaten people with a knife." Ares laughed. "Are you kidding? I love this country. Best place since Sparta. Don't you carry a weapon, punk? You should. Dangerous world out there. Which brings me to my proposition." He turned to Percy, "I need you to do me a favor." "What favor could I do for a god?" "Something a god doesn't have time to do himself. It's nothing much. I left my shield at an abandoned water park here in town. I was going on a little... date with my girlfriend. We were interrupted. I left my shield behind. I want you to fetch it for me." "Why don't you go back and get it yourself?" The fire in his eye sockets glowed a little hotter. "Why don't I turn you into a prairie dog and run you over with my Harley? Because I don't feel like it. A god is giving you an opportunity to prove yourself, Percy Jackson. Will you prove yourself a coward?" He leaned forward. "Or maybe you only fight when there's a river to dive into, so your daddy can protect you." I wanted to punch this guy, but I knew he was waiting for that. He'd love it if I attacked. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. But by the gods I want to smack him. Maybe some other time. "We're not interested," I said. "We've already got a quest." Ares's fiery eyes made me see things I didn't want to see—blood and smoke and corpses on the battlefield. "I know all about your quest, punk. When that item was first stolen, Zeus sent his best out looking for it: Apollo, Athena, Artemis, and me, naturally. If I couldn't sniff out a weapon that powerful..." He licked his lips, as if the very thought of the master bolt made him hungry. "Well... if I couldn't find it, you got no hope. Nevertheless, I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Your dad and I go way back. After all, I'm the one who told him my suspicions about old Corpse Breath." "You told him Hades stole the bolt?" "Sure. Framing somebody to start a war. Oldest trick in the book. I recognized it immediately. In a way, you got me to thank for your little quest." "Thanks," Percy grumbled. "Hey, I'm a generous guy. Just do my little job, and I'll help you on your way. I'll arrange a ride west for you and your friends." "We're doing fine on our own." "Yeah, right. No money. No wheels. No clue what you're up against. Help me out, and maybe I'll tell you something you need to know. Something about your mom and Y/N's parents." "Our parents?" He grinned. "That got your attention. The water park is a mile west on Delancy. You can't miss it. Look for the Tunnel of Love ride." "What interrupted your date?" I asked. "Something scare you off?" Ares bared his teeth, but I'd seen his threatening look before on Clarisse. There was something false about it, almost like he was nervous. "You're lucky you met me, punk, and not one of the other Olympians. They're not as forgiving of rudeness as I am. I'll meet you back here when you're done. Don't disappoint me." After that I must have fainted, or fallen into a trance, because when I opened my eyes again, Ares was gone. I might've thought the conversation had been a dream, but Annabeth and Grover's expressions told me otherwise. "Not good," Grover said. "Ares sought you out, Percy. This is not good." I stared out the window. The motorcycle had disappeared. Did Ares really know something about our parents, or was he just playing with me? Now that he was gone, all the anger had drained out of me. I realized Ares must love to mess with people's emotions. That was his power—cranking up the passions so badly, they clouded your ability to think. He does not lie. He knows about your parents. "It's probably some kind of trick, Y/N," Percy said. "Forget Ares. Let's just go." "We can't," Annabeth said. "Look, I hate Ares as much as anybody, but you don't ignore the gods unless you want serious bad fortune. He wasn't kidding about turning you into a rodent." "Why does he need us?" "Maybe it's a problem that requires brains," Annabeth said. "Ares has strength. That's all he has. Even strength has to bow to wisdom sometimes." "But this water park... he acted almost scared. What would make a war god run away like that?" Annabeth and Grover glanced nervously at each other. Annabeth said, "I'm afraid we'll have to find out." The sun was sinking behind the mountains by the time we found the water park. Judging from the sign, it once had been called WATERLAND, but now some of the letters were smashed out, so it read WAT R A D. The main gate was padlocked and topped with barbed wire. Inside, huge dry waterslides and tubes and pipes curled everywhere, leading to empty pools. Old tickets and advertisements fluttered around the asphalt. With night coming on, the place looked sad and creepy. "If Ares brings his girlfriend here for a date," I said, staring up at the barbed wire, "I'd hate to see what she looks like." "Y/N," Annabeth warned. "Be more respectful." "Why? I thought you hated Ares." "He's still a god. And his girlfriend is very temperamental." "You don't want to insult her looks," Grover added. "Who is she? Echidna?" "No, Aphrodite," Grover said, a little dreamily. "Goddess of love." "I thought she was married to somebody," Percy said. "Hephaestus." "What's your point?" he asked. I suddenly felt the need to change the subject. "So how do we get in?" "Maia!" Grover's shoes sprouted wings. He flew over the fence, did an unintended somersault in midair, then stumbled to a landing on the opposite side. He dusted off his jeans, as if he'd planned the whole thing. "You guys coming?" Annabeth, Percy and I had to climb the old-fashioned way, holding down the barbed wire for each other as we crawled over the top. The shadows grew long as we walked through the park, checking out the attractions. There was Ankle Biter Island, Head Over Wedgie, and Dude, Where's My Swimsuit? No monsters came to get us. Nothing made the slightest noise. We found a souvenir shop that had been left open. Merchandise still lined the shelves: snow globes, pencils, postcards, and racks of— "Clothes," Annabeth said. "Fresh clothes." "Oh my gods yes." "Yeah," Percy said. "But you can't just—" "Watch us." She snatched an entire row of stuff of the racks and offered me a hand which I graciously took, together we disappeared into the changing room. "I need a shower." I groaned, while I changed. "We all do." She pointed out. A few minutes later we came out in Waterland flower-print shorts, a big red Waterland T-shirt, and commemorative Waterland surf shoes. A Waterland backpack was slung over our shoulders, obviously stuffed with more goodies. "What the heck." Grover shrugged. Soon, all three of us were decked out like walking advertisements for the defunct theme park. We continued searching for the Tunnel of Love. I got the feeling that the whole park was holding its breath. "So Ares and Aphrodite," Percy said, to keep my mind off the growing dark, "they have a thing going?" "That's old gossip, Percy," Annabeth told us. "Three-thousand-year-old gossip." "What about Aphrodite's husband?" "Well, you know," she said. "Hephaestus. The blacksmith. He was crippled when he was a baby, thrown off Mount Olympus by Zeus. So he isn't exactly handsome. Clever with his hands, and all, but Aphrodite isn't into brains and talent, you know?" "She likes bikers." "Whatever." "Hephaestus knows?" "Oh sure," Annabeth said. "He caught them together once. I mean, literally caught them, in a golden net, and invited all the gods to come and laugh at them. Hephaestus is always trying to embarrass them. That's why they meet in out-of-the-way places, like..." She stopped, looking straight ahead. "Like that." In front of us was an empty pool that would've been awesome for skateboarding. It was at least fifty yards across and shaped like a bowl. Around the rim, a dozen bronze statues of Cupid stood guard with wings spread and bows ready to fire. On the opposite side from us, a tunnel opened up, probably where the water flowed into when the pool was full. The sign above it read, THRILL RIDE O' LOVE: THIS IS NOT YOUR PARENTS' TUNNEL OF LOVE! Grover crept toward the edge. "Guys, look." Marooned at the bottom of the pool was a pink-and-white two-seater boat with a canopy over the top and little hearts painted all over it. In the left seat, glinting in the fading light, was Ares's shield, a polished circle of bronze. "This is too easy," I said. "So we just walk down there and get it?" Annabeth ran her fingers along the base of the nearest Cupid statue. "There's a Greek letter carved here," she said. "Eta. I wonder..." "Grover," Percy said, "you smell any monsters?" He sniffed the wind. "Nothing." "Nothing—like, in-the-Arch-and-you-didn't-smell-Echidna nothing, or really nothing?" Grover looked hurt. "I told you, that was underground." "Hey Percy, that wasn't nice." I glared. "Okay, I'm sorry." Percy took a deep breath. "I'm going down there." Pulling out my knife, "There isn't any monsters." "I'll go with Percy." Grover didn't sound too enthusiastic, but I got the feeling he was trying to make up for what had happened in St. Louis. "No," Percy told him. "I want you to stay up top with the flying shoes. You're the Red Baron, a flying ace, remember? I'll be counting on you for backup, in case something goes wrong." Grover puffed up his chest a little. "Sure. But what could go wrong?" "I don't know. Just a feeling. Y/N, will go with me—" "Yeah, I can go with." "Didn't take you as a romantic Seaweed Brain." Annabeth smirked. "What?" Percy's face was burning now, too. It made me laugh at how adorable he was. He turned to me and blushed even more. "Fine," he told us. "I'll do it myself." "Percy, I didn't say i don't want to come with!" I giggled. He started down the side of the pool, I followed, I hear him muttering about how this wasn't how its supposed go. Then I realized how we would've been surrounded by water. "Arthur Curry, if I drown I will beg Hades to have you." He paused and turned to take my hand and we continued walking. We reached the boat. The shield was propped on one seat, and next to it was a lady's silk scarf. I tried to imagine Ares and Aphrodite here, a couple of gods meeting in a junked-out amusement-park ride. Why? Then I noticed something I hadn't seen from up top: mirrors all the way around the rim of the pool, facing this spot. We could see ourselves no matter which direction we looked. That must be it. While Ares and Aphrodite were smooching with each other they could look at their favorite people: themselves. Percy picked up the scarf. It shimmered pink, and the perfume was indescribable—rose, or mountain laurel. He smiled, a little dreamy, and was about to rub the scarf against his cheek I frowned ripped it out of his hand and stuffed it in me pocket. "No." "What?" "Just get the shield, Arthur Curry, and let's get out of here." The moment he touched the shield, I knew we were in trouble. My hand broke through something that had been connecting it to the dashboard. A cobweb, I thought, but then I looked at a strand of it on my palm and saw it was some kind of metal filament, so fine it was almost invisible. A trip wire. "Wait," I said. "Too late." "There's another Greek letter on the side of the boat, another Eta. This is a trap." Noise erupted all around us, of a million gears grinding, as if the whole pool were turning into one giant machine. Grover yelled, "Guys!" Up on the rim, the Cupid statues were drawing their bows into firing position. Before I could suggest taking cover, they shot, but not at us. They fired at each other, across the rim of the pool. Silky cables trailed from the arrows, arcing over the pool and anchoring where they landed to form a huge golden asterisk. Then smaller metallic threads started weaving together magically between the main strands, making a net. "We have to get out," Percy said. "Woah I didn't know!" I said. Percy grabbed the shield and holding my hand we ran, but going up the slope of the pool was not as easy as going down. "I'm going to drown again aren't I? "Come on!" Grover shouted. He was trying to hold open a section of the net for us, but wherever he touched it, the golden threads started to wrap around his hands. The Cupids' heads popped open. Out came video cameras. Spotlights rose up all around the pool, blinding us with illumination, and a loudspeaker voice boomed: "Live to Olympus in one minute ... Fifty-nine seconds, fifty-eight ..." "Hephaestus!" Annabeth screamed. "I'm so stupid.' Eta is H.' He made this trap to catch his wife with Ares. Now we're going to be broadcast live to Olympus and look like absolute fools!" We'd almost made it to the rim when the row of mirrors opened like hatches and thousands of tiny metallic... things poured out. It was an army of wind-up creepy-crawlies: bronze-gear bodies, spindly legs, little pincer mouths, all scuttling toward us in a wave of clacking, whirring metal. "Spiders!" I said. I kicked these pests. Percy pulled me up and dragged my back toward the boat. "I am not staying here! I am so going to drown again!" The things were coming out from all around the rim now, millions of them, flooding toward the center of the pool, completely surrounding us. I told myself they probably weren't programmed to kill, just corral us and bite us and make us look stupid. Then again, this was a trap meant for gods. And we weren't gods. Percy and I climbed into the boat. Percy started kicking away the spiders as they swarmed aboard. I was swatting away some that I could. "Thirty, twenty-nine," called the loudspeaker. The spiders started spitting out strands of metal thread, trying to tie us down. The strands were easy enough to break at first, but there were so many of them, and the spiders just kept coming. I kicked one away from Percy's leg and its pincers took a chunk out of my new surf shoe. Annabeth was frozen from where she stood trying to keep away from us as much as possible. Grover hovered above the pool in his flying sneakers, trying to pull the net loose, but it wouldn't budge. Think, I told myself. Think. The Tunnel of Love entrance was under the net. We could use it as an exit, except that it was blocked by a million robot spiders. "Fifteen, fourteen," the loudspeaker called. Then I saw them: huge water pipes behind the mirrors, where the spiders had come from. And up above the net, next to one of the Cupids, a glass-windowed booth that must be the controller's station. "Annabeth!" Percy yelled. "Get into that booth! Find the 'on' switch!" Snapping out of her trance she turned. "But—" "Do it!" Annabeth was in the controller's booth now, staring at the buttons. "Five, four—" Annabeth sighed and started pushing every button, then looked up at us hopelessly, raising her hands. She was letting us know that she'd pushed every button, but still nothing was happening. "Y/N, I won't let you drown, just hold on!" I didn't think twice on nodding. Percy closed his eyes. "Two, one, zero!" Water exploded out of the pipes. It roared into the pool, sweeping away the spiders. He pulled me into the seat next to us and fastened me seat belt just as the tidal wave slammed into our boat, over the top, whisking the spiders away and dousing us completely, but not capsizing us. The boat turned, lifted in the flood, and spun in circles around the whirlpool. He held my hand tight afraid I'll drown the moment he lets go. The water was full of short-circuiting spiders, some of them smashing against the pool's concrete wall with such force they burst. Spotlights glared down at us. The Cupid-cams were rolling, live to Olympus. Percy and I held tight, both of us screaming as the boat shot curls and hugged corners and took forty-five-degree plunges past pictures of Romeo and Juliet and a bunch of other Valentine's Day stuff. Then we were out of the tunnel, the night air whistling through our hair as the boat barreled straight toward the exit. If the ride had been in working order, we would've sailed off a ramp between the golden Gates of Love and splashed down safely in the exit pool. But there was a problem. The Gates of Love were chained. Two boats that had been washed out of the tunnel before us were now piled against the barricade—one submerged, the other cracked in half. Jump. We have to jump. "Unfasten your seat belt," I yelled to Percy. Who already had his belt unfastened. "Jumping?" "We're going to have to jump for it." My idea was simple and insane. As the boat struck, we would use its force like a springboard to jump the gate. I'd heard of people surviving car crashes that way, getting thrown thirty or forty feet away from an accident. With luck, we would land in the pool. Hopefully not drown. Percy nodded. He gripped my hand as the gates got closer. "On my mark," I said. On mine. Jump when 'I' say so Perseus Jackson. He looked at me reluctantly. "How?" "What?" You'll know when I say so. "Fine." He shouted. "Jump when I jump!" "How would I know?!" "You'll say it!" "What?!" "Just tell me when to jump!!" "Now!" I yelled. I was about to jump when Percy pulled me closer. "Not yet! You didn't say it yet." Jump Hero. Percy jumped. I followed him. Crack! He was right. If we'd jumped when I thought we should've, we would've crashed into the gates. He got us maximum lift. Our boat smashed into the pileup and we were thrown into the air, straight over the gates, the pool was getting closer. I was going to drown again. Something grabbed me from behind. I yelled, "Ouch!" Grover! In midair, he had grabbed Percy by the shirt, and me by the arm, and was trying to pull us out of a crash landing, but we had all the momentum. "You're too heavy!" Grover said. "We're going down!" We spiraled toward the ground, Grover doing his best to slow the fall. We smashed into a photo-board, Grover's head going straight into the hole where tourists would put their faces, pretending to be Noo-Noo the Friendly Whale. Percy and I tumbled to the ground, banged up but alive. Ares's shield was still on Percy's arm. "Are you okay?" Percy panted. "Yeah... I didn't drown." Once we caught our breath, Percy and I went over to help Annabeth who was getting Grover out of the photo-board and thanked him for saving our lives. I looked back at the Thrill Ride of Love. The water was subsiding. Our boat had been smashed to pieces against the gates. A hundred yards away, at the entrance pool, the Cupids were still filming. The statues had swiveled so that their cameras were trained straight on us, the spotlights in our faces. I walked closer, "You guys suck." I blew blasphemy at the camera. Percy pulled me away. "Show's over!" Percy yelled. "Thank you! Good night!" The Cupids turned back to their original positions. The lights shut off. The park went quiet and dark again, except for the gentle trickle of water into the Thrill Ride of Love's exit pool. I wondered if Olympus had gone to a commercial break, or if our ratings had been any good. I hated being teased. I hated being tricked. And I had plenty of experience handling bullies who liked to do that stuff to me. Percy hefted the shield on his arm and turned to us friends. "We need to have a little talk with Ares."

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whatamidoingwithmylifeman · 3 years

Text

Mortal Kombat 11 Michiko vs Canon intro fight dialogues pt 2

CW: PTSD mention Michiko, Reiki, Nozomi, and Krow are my OCs. Reiki is genderfluid and goes by she/him pronouns.

here you go @deepinthefog here is the rest of the dialogues

please read below the cut

Michiko: Just how sharp are your teeth Baraka?

Baraka: Sharp enough to tear through your bones.

Michiko: I’d like to see you try.

Michiko: So how long have tarkatans been around?

Baraka: Long before either of your kind.

Michiko: That’s not what the books in Fuyuka’s temple say.

Michiko: You may have blades, Baraka, but I have saws!

Baraka: But aren’t you scared of-

Michiko: werenotgonnatalkaboutthat!

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Michiko: Cassie….Cage is it?

Cassie: The one and only!

Michiko: Oh good! Thought I had the wrong Cassie for a minute there.

Michiko: Did you and your dad really come up with “ship names” for Reiki and I?

Cassie: Yup! I propose the idea of… FireFox!

Michiko: .. oh by the gods.

Michiko: I heard someone’s got a little crush on a certain ice gal.

Cassie: Who told you I liked Frost?

Michiko: You did!

---

Michiko: For the last time. I. am not. From. the Netherrealm!

Cetrion: But wasn’t your mother a corrupted Nymph?

Michiko: Both my parents were corrupted and none of them are from the Netherrealm.

Michiko: Were you one of the Gods responsible for the massacre of the Karasugawas?

Cetrion: No, but I know of the Gods who were.

Michiko: Names. Now!

Michiko: Why are you crying?

Cetrion: I can sense great pain in you young one

Michiko: please don’t read any further…

---

Michiko: Did you seriously try to stab my fiancé!?

D’vorah: She tried burning the hive

Michiko: You keep your hive the fuck away from her!

Michiko: Are you seriously trying to say that you’re the one responsible for the massacre of the Karasugawas?

D’vorah: And this one will finish the job!

Michiko: Nice try D’vorah, but I know bugs hate fire.

Michiko: You hate fire, but do you like ice?

D’vorah: This one would like it to see a demonstration.

Michiko: Then you’re gonna get one!

---

Michiko: I have found something other than buzzsaws that I hate

Erron: And would that be, Michiko?

Michiko: Guns! Why are they so loud!?

Michiko: For the last time, I did not lie about what happened between me and Bi Han.

Erron: I was told y'all hooked up at the tournament.

Michiko: What idiot told you that?

Michiko: How much did my brother pay you?

Erron: He paid me half a million to bring ya home.

Michiko: So how much would I need to pay you to drop this hunt?

---

Michiko: I’m sorry, you want me to what!?

Frost: Take me with you and Reiki!

Michiko: Are you really willing to leave everything behind?

Michiko: Alright kid, rule number one, no keeping secrets

Frost: What if I just don’t want to talk about something?

Michiko: I can respect that.

Michiko: I need to know exactly what my brother and Bi Han have said about me.

Frost: All good things.

Michiko: I think you and I have two very different version of good things.

---

Michiko: Step aside Fujin.

Fujin: Whatever Cetrion told you, was a lie!

Michiko: I’VE SEEN THE DAMAGE DONE BY YOUR BROTHER AND THAT FIRE GOD!

Michiko: Do you still think I can achieve humanity Fujin?

Fujin: You were raised as one, so yes.

Michiko: Oh was I?

Michiko: Ok but like, do you know any Elder God that would bless Reiki and I?

Fujin: Michiko, they've been slaughtered by Cetrion.

Michiko: …. Oh. Damnit!

---

Michiko: Hey, how old would you say I look?

Geras: Without the knowledge of your origins, I say 31.

Michiko: You’re actually right.

Michiko: What does a demon benefit from a titan?

Geras: What did the Nymphs do for the Gods?

Michiko: Everything, with nothing in return.

Michiko: if there is no assurance for Reiki’s safety then I cannot work for Kronika

Geras: What if I told you, she could return your bloodline to you?

Michiko: I could not live with myself if Reiki were to die.

---

Michiko: How do you plan a wedding?

Jacqui: still working on that myself

Michiko: ah damn. Good luck though.

Michiko: Do you have any more relationship tips?

Jacqui: Boundaries and communication are key.

Michiko: We got the boundaries covered

Michiko: Normally I wouldn’t say this, but your arm enhamencents are cool!

Jacqui: What do you mean, normally?

Michiko: Have you seen what happened to the Lin Kuei?

---

Michiko: Where did you find all that information from

Jade: In a hidden temple on Shang Tsung’s Island

Michiko: So that’s where it is. I’ll have to inform Nozomi.

Michiko: So, why did you want to know if I worked for Quan Chi or not?

Jade: To see if you were friend or foe.

Michiko: I think you Mama Nozomi would get along.

Michiko: Ok, look, I’m not gonna beat in Hanzo’s head with your staff.

Jade: Then who’s head are you going to beat in?

Michiko: Sektor’s.

---

Michiko: What’s the worst form of therapy one could get?

Jax: Electric shock the-Michiko?

Michiko: I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean

Michiko: If you must know, my brother, Sektor, used to call me little birdie

Jax: Oh, is that still a good thing?

Michiko: Yeah it is. But you’re not telling him that!

Michiko: How’d you lose your arms?

Jax: It’s a long three part story.

Michiko: I have time.

---

Michiko: I never said you were cooler, I just don’t argue with children.

Johnny: You’re one to talk, kid!

Michiko: Fight me old man!

Michiko: So, what nickname should I give you?

Johnny: How about, Mr. Cool guy? No no! Superstar!

Michiko: I got it! How about, foolish star!

Michiko: Here you go!

Johnny: What is it?

Michiko: an invite to mine and Reiki’s wedding.

---

Michiko: The difference between life essence and souls is, you can live without one. Kabal: Which one?

Michiko: Would you like to find out?

Michiko: Just how fast are you?

Kabal: Faster than the speed of light.

Michiko: I would be impressed if I knew how fast that was.

Michiko: Your speed, my snow drift, let’s go! Kabal: When and Where?

Michiko: Right here! Right now!

---

Michiko: I’m sorry, my brother paid you HOW MUCH!?

Kano: Poor blokes desperate to get ya home.

Michiko: My home is with Reiki!

Michiko: Um, Kano, I’m not gonna bring you the medallion

Kano: Not like anyone would know you’ve gone back.

Michiko: That thing almost broke and I died the last time I touched it. So no!

Michiko: Look, if Reiki gets hurt, deals off

Kano: Look, Shang Tsung just need a bit of Reiki’s fire and we’ll be good to go

Michiko: Ok deal’s definitely off! When the hell was he involved?

---

Michiko: So you were adopted too?

Kitana: In my circumstances, unfortunately.

Michiko: Ouch! I feel that.

Michiko: Hey, who told you that I was called a princess?

Kitana: Noob Saibot.

Michiko: Oh of course he- wait what!?

Michiko: Reiki and I appreciate your refuge

Kitana: Must you go already Michiko?

Michiko: Until the hunt stops, Reiki and I must travel.

---

Michiko: Hey Kollector! Here’s your coin!

Kollector: I’ll teach you to throw ice balls!

Michiko: And I’ll teach you to try and mess with my mate!

Michiko: If you should know, I am a balance of both

Kollecter: I would still like my wage

Michiko: Ha! Fat chance!

Michiko: I would never be ally to those who hurt my Reiki

Kollector: She’s a seer and a Nymph! Do you not know the value she is worth?

Michiko: She’s my fiance!

---

Michiko: So you and Jade had history?

Kotal Kahn: It’s a long story.

Michiko: I don’t think there’s much story there.

Michiko: Give this to Kitana for me

Kotal Kahn: Why can’t you do it?

Michiko: I just learned a shadow is now after me, so I gotta dip.

Michiko: Heard you got defeated in the Snow Forest

Kotal Kahn: Sub-Zero and his Lin Kuei outclassed my legion

Michiko: Be lucky you encountered him, and not me

---

Michiko: You’re not standing in my way

Kung Lao: I can’t let you attack the temple of elements

Michiko: I have an appointment with two Gods, SO MOVE IT!

Michiko: If you have see my brother, turn him away

Kung Lao: Now why would I do that? He has to pay for Shaolin lives!

Michiko: Turn him away before he picks up on mine and Reiki’s trail!

Michiko: I wish I would’ve met Bo’ Rai Cho sooner

Kung Lao: I’m just still surprised that you managed to out drink him.

Michiko: That’s because he gave me regular alcohol instead of demon elixir.

---

Michiko: If you don’t move I will kill you

Liu Kang: Michiko, the monks, they can-

Michilko: I DON’T CARE, MOVE!

Michiko: Reiki’s fire is hotter than yours!

Liu Kang: A fire hotter than dragon’s fire?

Michiko: Hotter and deadlier!

Michiko: How does Bo’ Rai Cho hold that much alcohol?

Liu Kang: How did you not get drunk at all?

Michiko: I’m a demon. Regular alcohol doesn’t affect me

---

Michiko: You, Tanya, Reiki and me, double date!

Mileena: Ooh yes!

Michiko: Sweet! Tonight at 8?

Michiko: Bi Han and I never dated. We were just close before I died.

Mileena: He said you two made a promise.

Michiko: A promise that no longer means anything to me.

Michiko: Hey, thanks for not calling me a nymph in a mocking way

Mileena: Thanks for not calling me an ugly monster.

Michiko: That’s it. We’re friends and you’re gonna tell me everything bothering you

---

Michiko: I have had it! Move or die!

Nightwolf: I cannot not let you attack the gods!

Michiko: MY ONLY ISSUE IS WITH RAIDEN AND THE FIRE GOD!

Michiko: I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need your counsel!

Nightwolf: If you would let the Great Spirit help-

Michiko: Help me or hinder me from the truth?

Michiko: I hate that place and would rather it burn like my old home once did

Nightwolf: You would rather have innocents suffer over your anger?

Michiko: Why don’t you take the hourglass, go back about 31 years, and tell the two gods that!

---

Michiko: Keep the fuck away from Reiki!

Noob Saibot: I’m just trying to protect you!

Michiko: Protect me from what?

Michiko: You best keep my name out of your goddamn mouth, Bi Han!

Noob Saibot: You and I made a promise! It is best to honor that!

Michiko: That promise and our friendship was a mistake!

Michiko: I’m only letting you help cause Nozomi’s making me.

Noob Saibot: Oh she’s definitely Quan Chi’s daughter.

Michiko: Hey! We don’t say his name around her, got it?

---

Michiko: I want to tell you a little story.

Raiden: This should be interesting.

Michiko: It's a story of how two angry, petty, benevolent gods destroyed a bloodline and a village, leaving only one little girl to suffer the aftermath.

Michiko: You know of the lost realms?

Raiden: Someone I called my family was from one of those realms.

Michiko: It wouldn’t happen to be Krow of Hinpar would it?

Michiko: I’m not going to kill you! I just want my family back!

Raiden: I can’t do that-

Michiko: YOU OFFERED TO BRING BACK THE SHIRAI RYU! WHAT MAKES BRINGING BACK THE BLOODLINE YOU DESTROYED ANY DIFFERENT!?

Michiko: You’ve dealt with a cryomancer, but have you dealt with an ice demon?

Rain: What’s the difference?

Michiko: THERE ARE SEVERAL!

Michiko: I’m not buying that you want me as your ally for one minute.

Rain: If I made you my servant, Nozomi would kill me.

Michiko: Ok, that I can believe.

Michiko: in case no one told you, I don’t worship. I work with

Rain: You best treat Nozomi like the Goddess she is you imp!

Michiko: Hey! Watch it with that word!

---

Michiko: Don’t try to stop me Hasashi!

Scorpion: I’ve lost my family too Michiko. This is not the way to go about it.

Michiko: You at least got to know them before they died!

Michiko: You weren’t entirely wrong about it being of a Nymph, but why did you guess that?

Scorpion: Because Reiki is of Nymph origins too, and your ice matches his fire.

Michiko: I… I haven’t thought of it that way.

Michiko: Hasashi, look, I appreciate your offer, but I can’t accept.

Scorpion: Reiki grew up in the Shirai Ryu! You’d fit right in!

Michiko: I have my daughter to consider too, Hanzo.

---

Michiko: Unbind my thoughts from Sektor’s now!

Shang Tsung: And if I refuse?

Michiko: You won’t live to take another soul.

Michiko: I will bring my family back! And you can’t stop me!

Shang Tsung: Why would I want to stop you? I find your in vain efforts amusing.

Michiko: You’re lying! The Karasugawas will be restored!

Michiko: Have you found my soul yet, Tsung?

Shang Tsung: Don’t you dare mock me, you pompous little imp!

Michiko: THAT’S IT! NO MORE MS. NICE DEMON!

---

Michiko: No Nymph nor demon would ever serve you

Shao Kahn: You and your Nymph wife will do so imp! Michiko: HE IS MY MATE AND YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!

Michiko: I may not consume souls. But I do eat life essence

Shao Kahn: What’s the difference?

Michiko: I’ll show you!

Michiko: Let me use your hammer

Shao Kahn: Ah! And why would I let a weak puny mortal touch my hammer?

Michiko: I’ll freeze you in a block of ice and kick you into the void if you don’t give me the hammer.

---

Michiko: I don’t care how much the Lin Kuei needs me, I’m not going back!

Sheeva: You would abandon your home? Your friends?

Michiko: They can handle themselves!

Michiko: Thanks for the training lessons

Sheeva: You certainly do not hold back

Michiko: Fight to the death or die fighting!

Michiko: Have you ever had a lover you fought for?

Sheeva: A queen I failed to protect

Michiko: I’m sure she holds no ill will towards you Sheeva

---

Michiko: Hey don’t worry, I’m not gonna take your screaming title.

Sindel: You can keep it!

Michiko: Aww, not even a friendly competition?

Michiko: Kitana Kahn of Outworld says she’d like to see you sometime

Sindel: That is wonderful to hear.

Michiko: I also know of a four armed queen that would like your company too

Michiko: Hey, you should go talk to Sheeva sometime

Sindel: But would she want to see me?

Michiko: I know she misses you more than anything.

---

Michiko: Sorry Skarlet, my blood’s not compatible.

Skarlet: I need no type. Just blood

Michiko: Ah, so you’re a type O.

Michiko: Wait, you’re of nymph origin too?

Skarlet: Blood nymphs.

Michiko: Huh, you really don’t hear about them a lot.

Michiko: You and Nozomi have really cool blood-bending!

Skarlet: You know of another blood bender?

Michiko: Nozomi is the best there is!

---

Michiko: You better back down Blade!

Sonya: Your God hunt ends here Karasugawa!

Michiko: Raiden got your future self killed! Why do you defend him?

Michiko: I will not repeat myself. I’m not going back.

Sonya: But Grandmaster Sub-Zero has specifically requested your help.

Michiko: He of all people should know why I cannot go back.

Michiko: How do I make my own legacy if I don’t want kids?

Sonya: You inspire others to be like you.

Michiko: I am the worst demon to follow. It’s not going to work.

---

Michiko: I can’t help you Kuai, I just can’t.

Sub-Zero: I know our last encounter with Sektor was shocking, bu-

Michiko: I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean

Michiko: Will you please get your brother off my back!

Sub-Zero: Michiko, you know Bi Han won’t listen to me.

Michiko: Not even as the Grandmaster?

Michiko: Where I was and where I will go is none of your concern Liang

Sub-Zero: Michiko please. Don’t leave me in the dark.

Michiko: It is best nobody knows.

---

Michiko: WHY CAN’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!?

Sektor: WHY YOU CAN’T COME BACK HOME!?

Michiko: You.. You really don’t understand do you?

Michiko: I won’t come back, but I will invite you to my wedding

Sektor: Thank you sister.

Michiko: Don’t push your luck.

Michiko: Was the binding of our minds really “fathers” idea

Sektor: Not entirely..

Michiko: I KNEW IT!

---

Michiko: When do you plan on marrying Sektor?

Cyrax: Sometime in the summer.

Michiko: Very specific Mykel.

Michiko: So.. how’s life as a cyborg going?

Cyrax: Awful.

Michiko: Thanks for the update!

Michiko: Hey, where’s past you?

Cyrax: Probably trying to flirt with Shi in the worst ways possible

Michiko: As if you don’t do that now.

---

Michiko: Hey, I may be leaving for good, but I promise you I-

Smoke: Wait, you’re leaving for good!?

Michiko: Tomas I have made it clear so many times that I do not like this place.

Michiko: Would you like to come to my wedding?

Smoke: Like to? I have to! I’m your bridesmaid.

Michiko: umm… that’s going to Frost..

Michiko: Hydro been over training you too, huh?

Smoke: Speak for yourself Karasugawa!

Michiko: At least he has a reason to do so with me.

---

Michiko: Can we take a break?

Hydro: Not until you master your ice

Michiko: I’VE MASTERED IT FOR NEARLY A DECADE NOW!

Michiko: Look, I appreciate your concern Bo Hai, but please don’t worry

Hydro: What if Reiki snaps and loses control of her fire? Michiko: That’s the beautiful thing about her, she’s not a monster like me.

Michiko: Where have you been all this time?

Hydro: Hunting your killers down.

Michiko: But, Hydro, I died in the tunnels below the temple.

---

Michiko: Ok, 1, didn’t realize you were flirting with me, and 2, I’m engaged

Sareena: Demons and Nymphs never work well together.

Michiko: I’M A NYMPH TOO!

Michiko: Your efforts are but in vain Vixen!

Sareena: Don’t you have the fox-like animal form?

Michiko: That’s not the point!

Michiko: You said there were other ways to release my pent of rage?

Sareena: Yes..

Michiko: Can any of them help me take down two gods?

27 notes · View notes

yamithediaperdork · 3 years

Text

Billy's Birthday Bash part 1 (DC)

Billy yawned and sat up in bed, reaching over and turning off his alarm clock which was blabbering away about how the justice league had saved the day last night, again. from alien attackers, Again.

"Like I don't know that." Billy muttered, swinging his blanket off and twisting in his bed so his bare feet could hit the floor. "I was only there."

Billy Batson after all was the secret identity of the world's mightiest mortal Shazam, gifted with gifts from seven gods and one of the league's heavy hitters.

Just thinking about that brought a smile to the 13 year old hero's face and he turned to pose in in the mirror in his bedroom, and then his face fell as he saw his reflection.

while once he said his magic word he was a 6'9 muscled beefcake, the image looking back him with it's scrawny arms and chest which were covered with a faded flash themed PJ top while around his hips was a semi bulky and again flash themed overnight diaper, that was drooping from being used many times (Thankfully only wettings though, something he confirmed with a quick pat to his padded rear and a sniff of the air) despite Billy having only made it to bed at around 3 am.

He hadn't of been worried about getting in trouble for being out so late though.

the once orphan had been happily adopted and taken in by one Barry Allen and got alone great with his new dad and tried to be pleasant around Miss west, Barry's girlfriend who came over often enough to have her own key.

It wasn't that she was unpleasant or anything, it was just with Billy's 'problems' acting up bad enough that he needed his diapers basically 24/7, she insisted on diaper checks, even in front of her nephew Wally who'd come over sometimes with her and was like the coolest guy ever!

The reason why he hadn't of been worried about Barry finding out though was because Barry was also a member of the Justice league, ironically the Flash who's symbol had been on the front of the bulky diaper at one point.

"You'd think he'd be mad these things even exist since till Bat's set up that account for us there was no way to collect royalties." Billy grumbled to himself.

But when asked Barry admitted if he could help kids like Billy who had potty issues feel big and brave like superhero's, He was fine with the diapers being made and mostly didn't touch his share of the royalties.

though as Billy's legal guardian Shazam couldn't touch his share either without permission and was irked that Barry would use some of Billy's money to stock up on his diapers.

"I'm teaching you to be reasponable. if you have to pay for the diapers you'll be less likely to rip them up like that first pack Iris got you." Barry had reminded Billy, with a smirk on his face but a slight stern tone.

"I said sorry..besides they had stupid ponies and stuff on them." Billy had whined back.

still he fell in line and even if he had wanted to just blast the diapers with his lighting some times and suck up the wasted cost, with his new day's symbol on it he just couldn't do it.

Since he was only wet Billy was allowed to change himself, there had been the great carpet incident a few days after he'd moved in trying to change a dirty diaper on his own and Barry had made him pinky swear to ask for help with those.

since Billy was on the family plan and had his own cell phone he could just discretely call Barry when he was smelly, though thankfully his daytime accidents were few and fair in between.

Snapping the tapes off Billy had a minor moment sulkiness again since his budding pubic hair had been shaved clean because of his diapers, though he had to admit Barry had been right, he was getting a LOT less rashes.

balling the soggy diaper up and holding it out with one hand, Billy took a deep breath and pinched his nose with the other one as he stepped on the foot petal for his diaper pail and dropped it in, not wishing to smell memories of diaper past.

with that done he walked around enjoying the lack of a waddle in his step for the precious few moments he would and tugged opened his version of a underwear drawer, stocked full of daytime and overnight flash brand diapers.

"Gee, what's a boy to wear, flash themed disposable undies or flash themed disposable undies?" He asked, tapping a finger on his chin and smirking a little."the struggle is real for 13 year old pants wetter."

"heh, Oh really?" Came a voice from the doorway and Billy yelped and tugged to tug his shirt down, even though he knew Barry had seen everything.

"B-Barry knock!" He huffed, and blushed, hands over over his crotch now.

"I did, someone was off in his own little world.. in fact so off he forgot what today is." Barry said and smirked, pointing over to a Shazam themed calendar on the wall, with the dates date circled in red."Your not 13 anymore silly. Happy birthday~"

Billy, who normally was ignored on his birthday either by choice or lost in the shuffle while in foster care really had forgotten and now grinned big time.

"That's right! I get a real party, with cake, and ice cream an-" Billy was saying and was cut off as Barry zipped over, a little bit slower in his blue jeans and denim shirt but not by much and was ruffling Billy's hair.

"And you get a birthday spanking." Barry teased, but winked to let Billy know he was joking.

"Try it and I'll saw you know what." Billy giggled and blew a raspberry.

"Hmmm flash vs. Shazam in a spanking fight. we could sell out areas. But At last, your butt's just too cute to mare." Barry chuckled and gave the boys chubby cheeks a soft pat before zipping back to the door frame.

the pat while gentle, was unexpected and Billy yelped and a little trickle of pee came out, something Barry missed but the now hard wood floor of Billy's room could handle it.

"Finish getting dressed buddy and I'll get this cleaned up in-"

"Don't say it!" Billy groaned rolled his eyes.

"A flash!" Barry said, zipping off as Billy snatched a pair of daytime diapers out.

'He's so corny sometimes.' Billy thought.

Dressed in a red t-shirt and a baggy pair of black shorts that did a good job of hiding the bulk of his padding (there there was a tell tale crinkle for those listening for it) he made his way to the dinning room and grinned ear to ear as the table was loaded with chocolate pancakes, blue berry waffles, fried eggs, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages and a pitcher of chocolate milk and a pitcher of orange juice.

with how fast Barry's metabolism was he was always making big meals and was part of the reason Billy had put on some much needed wait, but even so, this was above and beyond.

with drool trailing down his chin he grabbed a plate and looked over the feast, almost at a lost of where to begin.

"heh, Did daddy do good or did daddy do good?" Barry asked, zipping into the room.

"This. Is. Awesome!" Billy squealed. "Was this all you or did Iris help too?" Billy asked.

"She's out of town on a assignment for a news papers, she's sorry she's gonna miss the party." Barry said, looking sorry.

"Well it's ok." Billy said, starting to load up his plate, a impish grin coming across his face. "we can just have anther party with more cake when she gets back. It'll be hard having all that sugar and getting double presents, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make." he said, topping off his plate and plopping his butt onto his special chair.

with his bulky diapers and the fact he leaked sometimes, Barry had gotten him a dinner chair with sides coming up to the middle of his tummy so Billy wouldn't lose balance and fall off, and it had a plastic cover for a easier clean up instead of the stained oak that the rest of the chairs had.

Naturally Billy had been least then pleased at the fact he had a toddler chair but after falling off of the other chairs three times he'd finally bit the bullet.

"Oh, your willing to have two party's huh? truly, your a saint among men. We'll see what happens." Barry said, coming over and getting his own plate while taking a second to mentally gush at just how adorable Billy looked, his legs kicking under the table as he scooped food in his mouth like he hadn't eaten in a month. "Heh, wow, and I thought I was fast..slow down before you choke buddy."

Billy as normal, took that warning as a challenge and sped up.

After 4 helpings Billy just sat back in his chair, burping softly and groaning as he put a hand to his belly, not even offering a fight as Barry came over with a cloth to wipe his face and hands.

"Did somebody maybe eat more then he should of?" Barry asked sweetly, as he helped the groaning boy out of the chair, and after a second picked him up, setting him on his hip and patting his back.

Billy's reply was a loud blench and Barry winced, glad he'd had the foresight to get Billy's head over his shoulder.

"well put. any follow ups?" Barry chuckled, and kept patting, this wasn't Billy's first semi food coma and he doubted it would be the little thunder champions last.

Billy went to open his mouth to say something then a loud booming fart blasted out of his bottom and for a split second Barry wondered if his arm would of been burnt if not for the padding.

"I-I didn't..I.." Billy whimpered and buried his head into Barry's shoulder and Barry could feel the heat from the boys face.

"Hey..hey..it's ok. fart's happen. besides you've gone uh-oh in my lap so this is hardly worse." Barry said, tilting his head and giving the poor blushing little guy a smooch on the head.

"N-Not helping!" Billy whined.

"Ok ok, I'll drop it.. here let's get you sat down and watching some carto-" Barry started to say but anther thunder poot from the champion of lighting cut him off.

"gawd! that stinks!" Billy whined.

"...Or Maybe you wanna go and sit on the potty." Barry said trying to be nice, but the boy wasn't wrong.

"I know when I have to go poop Barry!" Billy huffed and two more loud farts came out and the boy switched from huffy to shocked. "..and that would be right now. Potty daddy!"

Any other daddy wouldn't of stood a chance in the world, But Barry Allen didn't call him the fastest man alive for nothing, but even then it was a close call as he barley got Billy's shorts and diaper down and got him on the toilet before the boy started to unleash hell.

Knowing how Billy valued some privacy, Barry left almost as quick as he'd gotten him in there, though not before bringing a few room freshers into the bathroom and opening a window.

'don't want him to pass out form his own stink.. man..I wonder if there's anther god powering.. skunkculues, champion of stink.' Barry mused as he waited outside the bathroom door just in case he was needed.

Billy groaned as he hunched over and pounded a fist on the sink's counter, wondering if maybe he had a natural power over lava because that's what this felt like as he made use of the potty.

His own stink was assaulting his nose though thankfully daddy had set it up so it would be as bad, though he still ended up having to flush a couple of times just to help with the smell.

Sweating, Panting and feeling drained, he barley had it in him to wipe himself when it was all said and done, and swore he'd never cram that much food into his tummy again all at once.

(of course since he swore that once every three or so days the oath may of fallen on deaf ear.)

which his cheeks wiped, Billy went to stand up on shaky legs and plopped back down, then noticed the shart stains in the back of the diaper and signed.

"Dadddd..IUh...I need help." he called out. huffing and slumping, elbows on his knees and waiting.

when the door opened up and his cousin/cool bro via adoption opened the door Billy yelped and in vain tried to cover up the diaper around his ankles.

4 minutes earlier...

Wally who had retired from the superhero game while going to collage and trying to be a CSI like Barry, had surprised Barry by showing up for the party.

"Wally! good to see you!" Barry had said, shaking the younger mans hand, but then, ever the good daddy/uncle had narrowed his eyes. "Aren't you suppose to be in class right now?"

"The professor for the only class I had today had a family emergency, so the class was called off, and I was gonna try and make it anyways." Wally said, keeping his voice down and Barry picked up on it and kept his down as well.

"Ah, a birthday surprise for Billy." Barry said and smirked. "you know he thinks the world of you right?"

"I might of picked up on that. hence why I pretend not to notice his little problem." Wally chuckled and ran a hand though his orange hair. "you'd think he would of linked how Aunt Iris doesn't do bum checks when I'm around with it buttt.."

"Heh, Well he see's what he wants to see. He's on the potty right now though so maybe if you hi-" Barry started to say when his com beeped.

it wasn't his JL com, but the one he'd given the Meta human crimes department for central and Keystone city, being the hero of the twin cities.

dashing over he answered it, and frowned, then dashed back to Wally but even as he did he was in costume.

"I hate to do this, but Weather wizard and Captain cold are causing heck in Keystone. could you stay with Billy? he might need a little help." Barry said and gestured his head to the bathroom.

"Of course. Listen, if you need any back up.. I might not have my costume, but after Billy gets out.."

"Hey, I'll handle it. I'll be back.."

"in a flash. I know I know." Wally groaned, having the same opinion as Billy about the phase.

Barry just smirked like it was the worlds greatest dad joke and took off.

"W-Wally!? Get out! I-" Billy was whining and had actual tears welling up in his eyes, making Wally just wanna hug him.

"Billy, Billy listen to me, Barry had to go and fight the rouges, I came here for your party..and I've know about your diapers since Barry adopted you." Wally said, cutting right to the chase.

"..No you haven't! I was super careful and someone as cool and awesome as you wouldn't wanna hang out with a diaper wetting baby!" Billy whined, in denial even as Wally sighed and shook his head.

"Really Billy? I'm training to be a CSI, so I'm learning to notice little things, I move at super speed, not as fast as Barry but still, and you crinkle lots." Wally listed off on his hand, raising fingers, then giving Billy a hurt look. "Also, you think SO little of me I wouldn't wanna hang out with a awesome and cool little guy like you just because you have accidents?"

"But..I.." Billy whimpered and sniffled, and went to wipe at his tears with his arm but Wally was there, with a wad of tissue.

"Hey, it's ok Billy. Truth be told, I wet the bed for 3 years after getting my powers. But My Parents weren't as nice and Uncle Barry and aunt Iris. they were the ones who looked after me like they're looking after you now. so no more tears alright? let's get you dressed and then we can play some video games." Wally said, and ruffled the boys hair.

Billy gave him a smile and then hugged Wally's waist, and the 19 year old almost melted and patting his head.

Tossing the dirty diaper, Wally got Billy in a clean over night diaper, and added powder, though Billy whined a little he was pacified by Wally saying he thought those looked cooler.

Going off of that logic Billy when offered a pair of baggy pants to go over the thicker diaper went all shy.

"uh. well..I mean.. if you wanna see this diaper because it's cuter.. and we're not going out anywhere.." Billy said, squirming and shifting all around.

"..I do think it's cuter, and Barry said he'd call if he needed us. Uh.. " wally trailed off and then blushed himself, and put a hand behind his head. "I have ONE question that's been bugging me."

"heh, what is it?" Billy said, holding up his arms for the older boy to pick him up.

"when you change.. do you have to take the diapers off first or..how does that work?!" Wally asked, picking him up and gushing as Billy cuddled in.

"heh, Nah, the big guy isn't padded, and as to how that works.." Billy paused and let wally hold his weight as he spread his hands, wiggling his fingers.

"Maggggggic~"

Wally snorted and smirked.

"your such a dork sometimes you know that?" he asked playfully, carrying Billy at normal speed down the stairs.

"Pffft please, I've seen you marking out over dad's cases when going over them with him, and not his stuff as flash, but as Barry Allen,CSI."Billy teased back.

Wally huffed and blushed himself and then smirked.

"You're lucky your cute or I'd super speed your butt to central park right now."

"heh, you wouldn't do that, A) because I'd say the word and leave, B) because Dad would kick you butt and C).." Billy said and tapped Wally's chest as he listed off his points. "You'd made me cry and hate yourself for it~"

"..Dang, guilty as charged."

Getting into the living room, Wally sat Billy on the couch and then went to look though the selection of games they had for two player.

"Super monkey fury 5 good for you?" He asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Um..whatever YOU think is a cool game!" Billy said, and gave a big grin.

he might of been 14 but in his diaper and t-shirt, and all eager to please his 'big bro' figure, he looked like a toddler.

"Heh, it's YOUR special day Billy, whatever YOU wanna play we'll play it." wally chuckled.

"W-Wellll.. Dad doesn't let me play Duty calls a lot because it's so violent.." Billy said, poking two fingers together.

"..I think Barry will understand." Wally smirked and put the game in, coming over with controllers for both of them.

As Wally sat down he was surprised as Billy moved from his spot next to him to sitting in his lap.

"heh,What are y-"

"it's MY Special day right?" Billy asked, flashing his imp smirk. "So I can sit anywhere I want.. rightttt?"

"heh. of course."

Barry hated how long it took him to deal with the rouges, they had gotten reinforcements from mirror master so it took longer then he would of liked to finish up, plus then he had to deal with the police over and handle the press, all part of keeping up the hero image and while any other day it wouldn't of irk'ed him, knowing he was missing out on Billy's big day, he was short tempered

he had almost snapped at Detective Morro, a long time friend on the force in both identities but caught himself.

"you ok Flash?" his friend asked.

"I..I'm missing out on my kid's birthday party for this." Barry admitted.

"heh, didn't know you HAD a kid. go on, get." the heavy set cigar chomping hard ass said. "We'll try to manage without you for the rest of the day...Oh, tell yer kid happy birthday."

"heh, Will do!" Barry said and after a trademark flash salute, was off and running.

Getting back to the house Barry found Billy in Wally lap and whining a little, sucking his thumb and a kiddy cartoon was on the TV, much younger then Billy usually liked to watch.

"Hey guys, I'm back, whats going on?" Barry asked.

"Oh well see, I was a jerk and tried to make Billy play a game I like an-" Wally started to speak up but a whimpering Billy cut him off.

"Noo! it was me! I made Wally play duty call's with me and it was way more awful then I thought and I know I've done worse as you know who but but..I dunno and I started to cry and and-" Billy whined and whimpered.

"..Billy when your Shazam you have the wisdom of Solomon that let's you work out why you have to do the things you do. not so much as yourself. that's why I didn't want you playing that, you're not in trouble, either of you but I think we're gonna keep it to cartoons or silly games for the day." Barry said, coming over and as Wally hugged the whining Billy in his lap, Barry did too and Billy sniffled and smiled.

"Kay"

with Billy calmed down, they sat down for a few episodes of different baby shows, with billy giggling and clapping alone even if Wally and Barry were bored out of their skulls. trying to break it up they pulled out a few board games but after having to watch Billy do his 'i won you lost' diaper booty shake 4 times in a row (which admittedly was pretty cute with his diaper butt on display) they switched from candy land to clue, where Wally won 2 out of the 4 games.

Barry technically could of won the other two but played bad on purpose for the last game where billy was getting all huffy.

After that they played pay day and once again were subjected to Billy's singing about how awesome he was and how much they sucked, while wiggling his padded rear in their faces but compared to the sulky silence that losing brought, Barry and wally put up with it.

Or at least they tried to till in the middle of shaking his butt in both their faces Billy froze and then let out a muffled poot.

"Really Billy?" Barry asked, waving his left hand at super speed to blow the smell away.

"I-I didn't mean to.d-do that! I'm Sorry!" Billy squeaked and turned around, blushing and starting to tear up. "P-Please don't ha-"

Before Billy could finish his thought, Wally and Barry were on either side of Billy, hugging him.

"Hey, hey, It's alright, Fart's happen." Wally was saying, rubbing and patting Billy's back.

"And I'm 90 percent sure you wouldn't fart on me after winning a game. Now if you lost.." Barry said and winked, patting billy's bum.

"D-Daddy!"

"Hmmm, Feels like it was just a fart, do you wanna sit on the potty just to be sure buddy?" Barry asked.

"Daddy, I know when I have to po-" Billy started and let out a long fart, one eye half closing and a leg coming up. the fart went from a normal sounding if massive one to wet and muddy, then Billy's leg came down and he was popping a squat.

Of course either Wally or Barry could of gotten him to the bathroom, but honestly, they had both agreed wordlessly to just let him fill his diapers.

"D-Daddy I'm Pooping!" Billy whined, as if Wally or Billy couldn't of told, and they just hugged him tighter and went double time with the bum and back pats as he whimpered and put his face in either shoulder, bearing down and finishing up even as whimpers of 'stinky' came out of his mouth.

As the diaper drooped in the back and Billy finished up, he sniffled a few times then pulled back.

"D-Daddy..Wally..Diapie change?" He asked in a voice that made him sound like a toddler.

"Of course buddy. I'll have you clean i-" Barry started to say but Wally moved his hand over and closed Barry's lips.

"I'll change him it means I don't have to hear that pun again." Wally said and winked to Billy even as Barry's eyes went wide from shock then a little glare.

Billy meanwhile was giggling like crazy and hands coming up his mouth to try and hide it.

Barry got Wally's fingers off his lips and smirked.

"oh, you think that's funny little man?" Barry asked, looking to wally and giving a evil smirk.

"I mean.. Kinda.. sowwy.." Billy said.

"Oh come on Barry, it WAS funny." Wally said and smirked.

"..Not as funny as this is gonna be." Barry said and Wally saw what was going to happen but could never beat Barry's speed, so was too slow to stop what happened next.

His hand moving at a blur, Barry smushed and squished the mess in the diaper around, making sure the boom boom went EVERY where as Billy's mouth formed a O and Wally groaned.

Zipping up to his feet Barry smirked.

"Have fun cleaning that up.. Oh and you can't use speed speed for cleaning up a poopie diaper, it'll hurt billy's bum." Barry said and went off to go and start working on lunch.

"wait what?!"Wally yelped.

"I..Poopie all over..I.." Billy was mumbling, looking out of it, and swaying back and forth on his feet, too out of it for Wally to ask if that was really a thing.

"DICK MOVE BARRY!" Wally yelled, then cradled Billy, the smell was even worst now and Wally gulped, wondering if he was strong enough to do this.

Billy mewed softly and wrapped his arms around Wally's neck and nuzzled his head into Wally's chest.

"I Sowwy. I stinky." Billy mewed, eyes semi glazed over.

Looking at how much Billy needed him, Wally found the will power needed and dashed billy off to the bathroom, though he did a slight detour to get a clothespin for his nose.

'maybe it won't be as bad as I think.' Wally thought, getting Billy on his back on a towel in the bathroom, sliding the little guys thumb into his mouth and gushing at how cute he looked.

opening the diaper, Wally realized it wasn't as bad as he thought.

it was worse, much much much.

Wally wasn't a stranger to changing diapers, as big of a family as he had and baby sitting jobs but this was the record for longest and grossest he'd ever handled.

going though a whole freshly opened box of wipes, he got it done, going at normal speed and taking time to comfort billy and talk softly to him.

it took the better part of 15 minutes, and then just to be safe Wally gave Billy a quick bath, semi worried as Billy had apparently slipped into a baby mode of sorts and was playing with some rubber duckies while Wally washed him, at one point offering one of the duckies he had been chewing on to wally.

"Uh..No thanks. you keep chewing." Wally said with a sweat drop.

Billy just giggled and nodded, noming on his ducky and letting wally wash him, only fussing when his hair was being washed, though thankfully Barry had gotten no more tears shampoo.

with Billy washed up all nice and clean, Wally got him dried off with a big fluffy towel and was walking him back toward his room to get him dressed when Barry cut him off, holding one of the presents under one arm.

"Thought I heard the tub running.Lunch is ready downstairs, I'll get the birthday boy dressed. go get something to eat." Barry said.

"Heh, Sure, now that I've handed all the smelly stuff you wanna tag in." Wally teased, and Billy giggled.

"What can I say, Perks of being a daddy and honorary uncle." Barry said.

Wally just shook his head and headed down the step while Billy toddled along side Barry, wrapped up in the towel and then just laid back his bed, willing to let Barry do all the work.

"heh, your being pretty cute kiddo. maybe you should poop your pants more often." Barry teased, tickling billy's tummy and getting a fit of giggles out of him.

Deciding with how little Billy was acting and the bigger accidents he was have, Barry got billy into a daytime diaper but cut slit in the front of back of it first, while Billy watched with a confused look and a finger on his bottom lip.

"Ummm daddy, what cha doing? I'm leak all over now." Billy pointed out.

"Well, if that was your only diapie you would, but daddy figures since we're not going out and you're having lots of accident's.." Barry said and pulled out the bulky bed time diaper.

"Sheesh, I'll be waddling like a toddler with both of these on!" Billy said and stuck out his tongue.

"I know! I don't know why i didn't think of this sooner!" Barry gushed and got a raspberry from billy.

with the bulky diaper taped up over the thinner one, Barry helped billy stand up and gushed and coo'ed at how Billy's legs were forced apart.

"Sheesh, One more and I think I'd be stuck crawling!" Billy said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Don't temp me." Barry said then handed Billy the present. "Here, open this up, it's from Iris and I thought it might be useful right now."

Warning bell's were going off in Billy's head as he took the present and he had to suppress a groan, it was a flash themed diaper shirt.

"Well what do you think? Iris noticed that your diaper sag a lot when you got pants-less and this will help! Heck, might even get you a few of theses if it works out. but for now,you can be the fastest pamper butt alive!" Barry asked.

"..I think I'll save it special occasions." Billy tried and Barry just laughed.

"Silly boy, this is your birthday, that IS special, here, I'll help you get it on." Barry said taking the diaper shirt from Billy and dashing around the boy. in seconds he was snugly fit in the diaper shirt.

Despite how humiliating it was to need the shirt for his saggy diapers, Billy had to admit it felt right, even if his bulky diapers semi showed.

"Soooo?" Barry asked.

"..I could get used to it. " he said and started to head for the door, realizing just HOW bad his waddling was now as Barry squealed behind him. "..I'll calling it in. carry me."

Billy sighed then giggled, holding his arms out.

"Well if I HAVE to." Barry laughed, coming over and picking up Billy and heading for the dinner table.

So far the day had been fun and cute, and it was only gonna get better.

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seattlesea · 3 years

Text

Why is Piper McLean Annoying?

So, I see a lot of people saying that Piper McLean is annoying for a variety of reasons like ‘She’s too obsessed with Jason’, ‘She complains too much’, ‘She’s too jealous’, etc. (and I agree), but I also realize that barely anyone really explains why, which I think is a bit unfair to the Piper fans, cause I’m sure they want to see our reasonings. So, I thought it was only fair to explain why Piper McLean is annoying.

First off, her obsession with Jason. I get that she likes the guy, but thinking about him every single paragraph gets really tiring after a while. It dragged the books and made them seem less of a hobby and more like a chore, like we had to get through the boring, tedious romance parts to get to the good stuff (which ended up disappointing). Of course Piper likes Jason, but her priority issues are what made her obsession with him so annoying. Like, doesn’t she have much more important things to do than sulk in her room whining about a boy? Like, I don’t know, train (which she only did in The House of Hades after Hazel told her to), plan for the final fight with the giants and Gaea, talk to her past friends and family in case she didn’t make it out alive, etc.? While all the other demigods were fighting for their lives, training their butts off, and working hard to make sure everything went smooth, Piper was sulking and whining about Jason in bed then complained that she was useless 💀 And I see a lot of arguments about why Piper’s obsession with Jason was fine, but let me make a counter-argument for each one- ‘She’s a daughter of Aphrodite’- You mean the daughter of Aphrodite who constantly claimed she hates Aphrodite and her children, is supposed to be the chill, down-to-earth one, and tries extremely hard to not be a typical daughter of Aphrodite? That one? I think the readers tend to forget that Aphrodite is the goddess of all love, not just romance. ‘She’s a high school girl’- A high school girl who was given the responsibility of helping save the world, and yet her boyfriend is the number one thing on her mind? I can guarantee you high school girls do not only think about their boyfriends. That’s actually quite a rude stereotype that Riordan fell right into. ‘She wants normalcy’- And of course she’s going to get that with the guy who can shoot lightning from his hands and fly. If she really wanted normalcy, she would’ve gotten together with a mortal guy, not another demigod whom she’s questing with. ‘The people who claim she’s annoying for her crush on Jason are the same people who’ve had crushes on a million fictional characters’- But do those people let those crushes define their whole life, get in the way of their morals, and are the only thing they ever think or talk about? Liking multiple people and being creepily obsessed with another are very different things.

Second, her jealousy over Reyna. I get that liking a guy and finding out another girl who’s known him for much longer also likes him is pretty jealousy-evoking...for a regular high school girl. But Piper isn’t a regular high school girl, she’s a demigod who’s supposed to concentrate on saving the whole world. Even in The Lost Hero, her jealousy and obsession was annoying (and creepy and honestly stalker-ish, like- wanting a guy all to yourself despite knowing your relationship with him was fake and completely dismissing the chances of any girl he might’ve known without ever getting to know him is pretty creepy) because even though she had just gotten introduced to the demigod world and had to adapt to it- she had just gotten introduced to the demigod world and had to adapt to it. How many people who just learned that gods, monsters, and myths were real and that they have to save their dad from a blood-thirsty giant and free a goddess from captivity or the world would end is going to think exclusively about a guy? That’s what makes it annoying. And even after The Mark of Athena when Jason and Piper were dating and Jason promised he wouldn’t leave her, Piper was still constantly worried about Reyna. Like, girl, don’t you have more important things to worry about? Like World War III between the Greeks and Romans? Or the literal end of the world? Or like, Armageddon? This also impacted the overall writing. During The Blood of Olympus, Frank and Piper were at a cave and Frank went in to get an ingredient for the Physician’s Cure, and the point of view was Piper’s, who sat outside waiting for him daydreaming about Jason and her friends. Frank was talking to his legendary shape-shifting ancestors and we got to read about a little girl complaining and sulking. That’s what makes Piper so annoying.

Third, her complaining. Piper fans often argue that everyone is allowed to complain about their trauma and you shouldn’t compare it to others...but there is none for Piper. She’s literally complaining for nothing. ‘Oh, but her dad was neglectful and didn’t care about her!!!’ ????are we reading the same book??? Piper has had multiple flashbacks of her and her dad hanging out like going surfing, watching Tristan’s movies, reading Greek myths, discussing Cherokee stories, etc., and it’s obvious Tristan loves Piper very much. Everything he does is for her. It’s not even his choice to be busy, it’s his agent’s, and even though he’s super busy, he always makes time for Piper even though Piper constantly makes his life harder by getting herself in trouble despite knowing his job and life is already stressful enough. Plus the fact that no matter how much bad Piper did, Tristan never punished or got mad at her for it. The fact that she’s complaining about her private chef making her a gold-wrapped sandwich while a lot of the other characters spent their childhood having to wonder where their next meal was going to come from and complained about having things they didn’t have 5% of was what was annoying. There’s a difference between ‘comparing traumas’ and being flat-out insensitive (as Piper was). If I saw some spoiled rich kid complaining about their peanut butter-jelly sandwich being wrapped in fake gold by their personal chef right in front of a starving homeless kid, I probably would’ve thrown a rock at them.

The last and most annoying part- the genre. The number one reason people think that Piper is annoying is that we didn’t read this story for romance. We didn’t pick up a Rick Riordan book to read about romance and jealousy, we did so to read about slaying monsters and saving the world. The entire Heroes of Olympus series was 80% dragged romance and 10% super-rushed, unrealistic, and horribly-written fights that mostly consisted of dialogue that never took longer than five pages but should’ve taken up a whole chapter or more. I- and multiple other readers- couldn’t care less about who gets in the way of whom and who gets together with whom and who likes whom, I care more about the battles and superpowers. Readers pick up action/fantasy/adventures stories to read about action, fantasy, and adventure, not romance. Piper ripped the readers from the fantasy world just to pine over her boyfriend, and the fact that that was what made up the majority of the books (along with other dumb, rushed romances) and Riordan spent like two pages- again, most of which consisting of dialogue- on the final battle against the second most powerful deity in all of Greek/Roman mythology (only surpassed by Chaos himself) after spending a whole book on just the Titan lord is what makes Piper so annoying. In Percy Jackson and the Olympians, the romance wasn’t even a subplot. It was a minor add-on, but all throughout HoO the romance was the main point, and Piper was the center of that. Plus she’s the center of a lot of racism and misogyny in the series. That’s what makes her annoying, my friends.

And yeah thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#heroes of olympus #demigods #piper mclean #piper is annoying #piper is useless lmao #piper is sexist too lol #like god she's so annoying #kill her off already please #riordan can't write female characters for shit

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