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emberfrostlovesloki · 3 months

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Roses and Sparkling Water [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@hotchs-big-hands) Center (@brainstormingg) Right (@edwardian-girl-next-door)

Prompt: Aaron surprises the reader by stopping by her apartment after work to celebrate her first month of sobriety.

Pairing: [established relationship] Aaron x fem!non-BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns

Category: fluff/comfort

Word Count: 4.3K

Content Warnings: Discussion of alcoholism/recovery [binge drinking, being drunk, hiding bottles, sobriety], food is mentioned, Aaron and the reader take a shower together, implied intimacy/sex. If I missed any, please let me know.

A/N: Hi loves! Here is another fic based on the amazing @imagining-in-the-margins January/February Writing Challenge. The prompt this was based on was “Character celebrates a milestone of sobriety.” I wrote this because I am one month sober today! Much of what happens in this story is what I felt before and after deciding to stop drinking. I have my friends and followers (and Aaron) to thank for supporting me and helping me get so far. Y’all are amazing and I love you. If you find yourself relating to any of these things, please know I am proud of you. It is never too early or too late to reach out for help. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re having a great start to your week and thanks for reading. Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories

y/n = your name

_y/c/e_’s = your color eyes

_y/h/c_ = your hair color

y/n had gotten home from work a half hour ago. It normally took that long for her to relax and be de-stressed enough to do anything enjoyable or productive. y/n didn’t want to be this stressed all the time, but things had piled on with life recently, and she was trying to accept it as best as she could. y/n was just lighting a candle and making a final cup of coffee when there was a knock at her door. y/n looked at the door confused. She hadn’t ordered anything on Amazon, and as likely as she was to get food delivered on yet another stressful day, y/n hadn’t gotten food either. y/n approached the door not sure what to expect. y/n looked out of the peep hole and her face broke out into a smile. This was the best kind of surprise that y/n could hope for. Without thinking about why Aaron was here, particularly with a dozen roses in hand, y/n threw the door open and said, “Hey, you. What are you doing here?”

Hotch stepped inside and moved forward, enveloping y/n in a tight hug. y/n breathed in his classic scent of cologne and shampoo. He had such a rich and deep scent. It was something akin to the smell of rain before a thunderstorm. The scent of green and dirt. It was something that y/n loved about him. Of course, y/n loved everything about Aaron. His smell was just a bonus. He still hadn’t answered her question, so y/n asked again, “So… why are you here? Did you come straight from the office?” y/n studied Hotch as if she was a profiler. He was still wearing his black slacks and white button-up. It looked crisp and well-pressed. y/n remembered a comment he had made on Saturday about picking up his laundry with Jack before he swung by to pick y/n up for an evening at his apartment. Apart from these articles of clothing, Hotch was missing his tie and suit jacket. It was an odd but becoming look on him, and y/n flushed at just how attractive he was in any state of dress.

Aaron smiled at y/n and leaned in to place a kiss on her lips. It was soft and he relished the slight stickiness of y/n’s chapstick which she must have just put on. When Hotch pulled back he said, “I’m here to celebrate you, darling.” He watched as she got slightly flustered and looked at him. y/n was now concerned that she’d forgotten some milestone of their relationship. They’d been together officially for nine months, and they weren’t the type to celebrate each month being together. y/n smiled and loved being celebrated and getting flowers from Aaron, but the why was still a mystery. y/n smiled and said, “Well you’ve got me stymied. Why are we celebrating me? Is it my un-birthday or something?” Hotch pulled back and replied, “Well maybe it’s that, but I was thinking more along the lines of the fact that today is one month of you not drinking.” y/n’s _y/c/e_’s shot open a little more. She hadn’t expected Aaron to remember the date when she’d given up drinking as she hadn’t brought it up much. But y/n loved that Aaron paid such close attention to her and the things that were important to her. y/n shouldn’t have been surprised but was and smiled even more and said, “Honey, that’s so sweet of you. How did you remember?”

Aaron took one of y/n’s hands gave it a squeeze and replied, “Sweetheart, when you decided you’d had enough I was incredibly proud of you. I know you only told a few people with me being one of them, and I know you don’t bring it up often, but I think it’s so important for you to feel accomplished in making it this far.” y/n let out a little laugh and said, “Aaron, it’s only thirty-one days. It’s not like a year or something. Every Saturday I still think about getting a drink at the bar. You must see it in my face sometimes. Or like before we go to bed.” Aaron nodded and gently took y/n’s chin in his hands so that y/n was sure to be looking at him. He was serious but not angry as he said, “I do notice, y/n. I notice every time I’m with you, and every time I see you choose to not go for a drink I’m so proud of you for that. I know it’s not easy. I want to highlight and celebrate all those times you’ve said no and let you know how strong I think you are.” y/n’s eyes began to water with emotions. She leaned into Aaron’s chest again. Hotch had placed the roses on the kitchen counter by this point with his long arms so he could more comfortably wrap his arms around his partner. y/n swallowed back the lump in her throat and said, “What have I ever done to deserve you, Aaron?” Hotch chuckled and said, “You never had to do anything to deserve me. We found each other and that’s all that matters to me. We give and take equally, if we didn’t this wouldn’t work.” Hotch pulled back again and asked, “So, would you like to do something to celebrate? I’m down for anything. I told the team and Strauss that I wouldn’t be available tonight. We could stay here or go out. I’m down for what you like.”

y/n beamed at the idea of a night assured that Aaron wouldn’t be snatched away by work. y/n said, “Well, such an offer is too tempting to answer without thinking about it for a minute.” Aaron smiled and replied, “Well while you think about it how about I’ll get a vase for those flowers.” y/n looked at the flowers, almost forgetting that they were there with Aaron in front of her. She chuckled and said, “Okay. There’s something in that top cabinet that I can’t reach that would work to hold them. Thank you for bringing them. They’re so beautiful.” Hotch nodded and said, “Well, nothing’s more beautiful than you, but I’m glad you like them.” As the tall man approached the kitchen to look for a vase, y/n pulled the flowers in front of her face and inhaled the light floral scent. It reminded them so much of Spring and just how thoughtful Aaron was as a partner. He’d seen it all from day one. Her problems with drinking. The anxiety and stress of the recent move and new job.

In fact, being with Aaron had been one of the main reasons y/n had quit. She had gotten sick of having to hide empty bottles when Hotch said he could stop by with or without Jack. It took work to throw away or hide five empty wine bottles or lug them out to the recycling. The hiding of the extant of her problem was also embarrassing. Every time she went to the recycling bin across the street, she thought that everyone she passed was looking and listening to the bottles clink on each other. On top of that, Aaron would always offer to drive her to work and she’d get into his car with either a headache or a hangover that she was badly hiding. The scent of Listerien must have been so strong in the small confines of the car. The problem that y/n had with drinking was that it never got so bad that she got in trouble. Not at work or with her friends. y/n was incredibly lucky that her binge drinking late into the night had only resulted in her showing up an hour late to work one day that wasn’t very important. She’d not even gotten a reprimand for it.

The real impetus for change had happened in two waves. The first had been on a day that had been so bad and overwhelming that y/n had called Aaron in near hysterics. Once he had heard her in distress so bad that she couldn’t even talk, he’d dropped everything and come over. He found y/n in her bed in what looked like such emotional pain that it nearly broke his heart. Aaron sat next to her, rubbed her back, and whispered words of comfort while y/n tried to stop the tears seeping from her eyes. y/n sniffled and asked, “Can you get me some water from the fridge? Please.” Hotch nodded and got up. y/n had completely forgotten that she hadn’t taken care of the bottles of wine both empty and full, nor the plastic cup that she’d put back into the fridge the night before at 3:00 a.m. when she couldn’t force down one more sip. y/n was too upset to think about it right now. But when Aaron opened the fridge, he instantly noticed the bottles and cup on the side of the door. Hotch knelt down and made sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing right. He silently lifted the bottles to see which were full and which were empty. He knew that y/n had a drinking problem even though she never drank in front of him. It was easy to see even if y/n tried to hide it. But this was worse than he had ever imagined. It hurt Hotch to see y/n trying to drown out her pain like this. With the way she was right now, he could understand the desire to self-medicate, but he cared about her too much to see her hurting herself like this to not say something. But he’d save that conversation for later. He quickly got the water she had asked for and moved back to give it to her and cuddle her until she could explain why she was so sad.

That Saturday, as Hotch and y/n went on their normal trip to the park for him to run and y/n to walk before picking up Jack from Haley’s, he brought up what he’d seen in her fridge earlier that week. y/n was confused at the beginning when Aaron didn’t start his normal stretching and jog, instead opting to walk with her. y/n looked at him and asked, “Are you feeling alright, love? Is your hip hurting you again?” Aaron gave his head a small shake as he said, “No, I’m good. I just wanted to talk to you about something.” y/n tipped her head to the side slightly. His tone was serious as was his expression. Suddenly y/n felt like she was under a microscope, and she was panicking. y/n wondered what she’d done and her brain came up with the worst thing imaginable like Aaron breaking up with her. So when he said softly, “I saw the bottles in your fridge, y/n, and I’m really worried about you.” It took y/n’s brain a few seconds of buffering to let Aaron’s words register. When they did, y/n instantly felt shame well up inside her. She’d forgotten about the fact that he’d looked at the fridge. y/n’s brain fired all its neurons for some kind of response but it was useless, and she said in a defeated tone, “I know I’ve got a problem. It’s bad and I feel bad about it. I’ve tried stopping so many times and it just never works. I can’t do the moderation thing. I’m sorry you saw that, I’m sorry I hid it, I’m just sorry…” y/n didn’t have anything more to say in their defense. y/n realized that what they had said wasn’t even a defense. It was just useless words that didn’t mean anything. At least y/n didn’t think they meant anything to anyone. But as Aaron walked alongside his partner, he felt a profound sadness yet strength at y/n speaking at all. He moved in front of y/n and stopped them in their tracks. y/n ended up running into him as her eyes were glued to the ground. y/n looked up at Aaron expecting him to be angry or upset, but he just looked concerned. y/n swallowed and said, “Why are you looking at me like that?” His facial expression wasn’t the one she had expected and it threw her off completely. She had almost hoped for anger. y/n was used to anger in response to her shortcomings. Empathy was so new to her that it felt wrong somehow.

Aaron pulled both of them off the trail gently and to a nearby bench. When they were settled, and y/n was looking at him with concern, he responded, “y/n. I’ve only ever cared or been worried about you. Your drinking, which I’ve known about for a while now, never made me angry. It just made me sad that you were hurting so much and not telling me, or anyone. When I saw your fridge and just how much you were drinking it made me concerned for you. You were so upset and I just want you to be okay. I know it’s hard. It’s gotta be so hard, but would you let me help you? Can you tell me why it started? How it got like this?” y/n was a sniffling mess by now and nodded without saying anything. After she’d taken a deep breath and realized that Aaron didn’t hold the shame for her that she held for herself, y/n said, “Yes. I’ll tell you, Aaron. But can we not do this in the park? Maybe we could go to your house where there isn’t a bottle for me to be tempted by?” Hotch had to let out a soft chuckle at y/n’s statement and gave her shoulder a slight squeeze and the top of their head a kiss as he said, “Of course, love. Let’s go to my place where we can both relax and talk more privately.” A few minutes later the couple was settled on Aaron’s comfy couch and y/n started sharing. She thought that it would be hard to let out those feelings and the draw of the numbing effect that wine had on her. Although it was uncomfortable at the start, Aaron’s compassion and caring questions that dug at and begged to understand y/n on a deeper level allowed her to let him into the part of her life that she had kept hidden away for over three years. As y/n spoke, it was so clear to her that he’d loved her through all of her flaws and bad choices she’d made. Not only did he love her, but he tried to understand and be there for her pain.

y/n was thrown from that memory when Hotch returned with a tall vase that would accommodate the flowers, and y/n felt like a giddy schoolgirl at just seeing him. Aaron couldn’t help but smile too as he said, “I’m never going to get tired of seeing that look on your face, y/n. I’ll have to stop by your place more often after you get home from work unannounced.” Aaron took the flowers from y/n and nestled them in the glass vase. y/n stood behind him while he did this, wrapped her arms around his waist, and leaned into him. As Aaron arranged the flowers to their optimum fullness, y/n looked out the window and remembered just how pretty a day it was outside. It wasn’t too hot or cold, so y/n said, “I think I know what I want to do with our free evening.” Aaron looked over his shoulder and said, “Oh, yeah. What’s that y/n?” y/n replied, “Well I’d like to go to the park near your place, and then if you’re down we could go to that Italian place where we went to on our first real date?” Aaron turned around and relaxed into her embrace and said, “Darling anything you want to do tonight we can. Well, anything but go and have like five tequila shots.” y/n nearly choked laughing and said teasingly, “Oh my gosh, Aaron, you’re the worst. Plus you know I hate tequila shots.” Hotch smiled and leaned down to kiss y/n on the forehead. He loved how lowkey y/n was. He knew she’d understand the joke, if she wouldn’t have, he never would have said it. He pulled back and said, “Well maybe we can have some sparkling water instead. Now. Do you still have that blanket from when we had that picnic with Jack?” y/n nodded and said, “It’s in the hall closet. I washed it a long time ago. It might have moth balls by now, to be honest.” Aaron stepped toward the closet and said, “Well, we can shake them out when we get to the park if they’re there. Do you want to grab a coffee to go? I see you’re machine is still running.” y/n whipped their head toward the kitchen and said, “Shoot, I forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder. Do you want a cup too?” Aaron called out over his shoulder, “Yes, that’d be great.” As Hotch got the blanket, y/n pulled two cups from the cabinet and made the coffee. She then quickly grabbed her purse and sunglasses. y/n held the door open for Aaron and they both walked down to his car.

In the park, the pair found a spot under a shady tree that was private but gave a view to a field where people were tossing a frisbee around and some dogs were chasing tennis balls in the lush grass. Aaron and y/n were quiet for a while as they both took in the lovely weather and coffee. When Aaron finished his cup, he set it on the quilted blanket and lay down to look at the sky. Seeing the expanse of Aaron’s chest so wide open, y/n set down her cup and made sure it stayed up before placing her head and upper body on his chest. Hotch snuggled y/n’s head into his chest a bit more and his hands found their place on her back and in her _y/h/c_ hair. y/n sighed contentedly into him, not in a tired way just a “I’m happy to be here way.” Aaron’s eyes gazed down to her back and shoulders and he said, “y/n, would you tell me why you decided to quit? I know you don’t make a big deal about it, but if you’re willing to tell me, I’d like to know.” y/n smiled into his chest and her mind flashed back to the second reason why she’d given up drinking. y/n’s fingers traced patterns over his skin and replied, “Well, it’s kinda silly, but I was just sick of being sick. I remember that Monday when I woke up as foggy as ever and I was thinking about how I only had one bottle left in the fridge and that I was going to have to walk to the store and buy another one to feel comfortable for the night because one bottle was never enough. And then I wondered if I had the money for it because it was the end of the month. And it thought about the type of power that alcohol had over my emotions and finances. It felt like it was controlling my life and I was sick of it. I had such better things to live for, like you and Jack and work. There was so much more to pay attention to in life. So I got out of bed that morning and poured all that I had out. Then I threw away all the bottles, immediately, so I wouldn’t be reminded of them. Let me tell you, I didn’t sleep for two days after that. It was pretty shitty.” y/n chuckled at how terrifying the choice had been for the first two days. Aaron listened and his face broke out in a smile as his hands ran up and down y/n’s back. He said, “Well I’m so happy for you. I see how much you’ve kind of come into yourself over this last month. I know it’s been hard, and yes I said that before, but you’re doing great, and I’ll keep supporting you however you need me to, tomorrow, next week, next month, until the end of time. I promise you that.” y/n looked up from his chest and gave his jaw a series of kisses that left Aaron fully flustered.

When it got dark the pair moved to the restaurant where they were seated at a corner table inside. The place had little tea candles on the tables and Aaron, true to his word, ordered a chilled bottle of sparkling water for the table. He even asked for wine flutes like they were having champagne. y/n laughed slightly as he poured them both glasses and handed one over to her. y/n picked up her glass as did Aaron. y/n’s eyes lit up as they clinked glasses and he said, “Here is to my love and how proud I am of you.” y/n added, “Well here this should also go out to my love and just how amazing you are to me. I wouldn’t be here at a month sober if you didn’t remind me how happy I can be without drinking.” Aaron couldn’t help but flush a little. They both took a sip and as y/n set down her glass she smiled at him and said, “You know Aaron, as simple as you are, you can go all out on some things.” y/n winked at the bottle of sparkling water and Hotch chuckled saying, “Well, I only think I’m extra for the important things, and I think this is one of them.” Soon after that, their food came and they had a nice meal together reflecting on their relationship and how it had evolved over the months.

When the pair got back to y/n’s home, she turned to him and asked, “So, are you going to spend the night tonight? Was that calling out to the team and Director Strauss just a tonight thing, or could it maybe extend into tomorrow morning?” y/n gave him her best pleading eyes because it was so nice to have him around unexpectedly, and she wanted to capitalize on his time if he could get away with it. Aaron smiled and said, “Well, I let the team get away with being in the office late once or twice, I don’t know why I can’t follow suit once in a while.” y/n grinned and said, “That’s my rule breaker. Now…I was thinking maybe I could do with a shower. How would you feel about joining me?” Hotch’s eyes flashed dark with a desire for a moment and he said in a voice suddenly much lower, “Well, that sounds like a good idea to me. Let me get it running at a good temperature.”

While Aaron was getting the shower set perfectly, y/n stripped down to nothing. y/n looked at herself in the mirror, glad to see her bold glow without the feeling of fuzziness from drinking, When Hotch said that the water was ready, she moved into the steamy room. Aaron’s eyes widened as she stepped past him and into the shower. She turned to face him and let the water cascade down her naked body. y/n loved the fact that she could freeze him like this, and she teased, “Are you going to stand out there in the cold love?” Aaron snapped out of his daze and he quickly stripped out of his clothes. y/n looked him up and down as he also got drenched from the shower. Aaron couldn’t stop himself and moved forward and began kissing her neck and shoulders. He stopped and asked, “Is this okay love? Do you feel like it tonight?” y/n smiled and ran a hand down his jaw and chest toward his navel. y/n nodded and said, “Of course I do Aaron. I want you like this whenever we can enjoy each other. Getting to be this close to you makes me feel so alive.” Aaron’s eyes roamed over her face again and he said, “Good, because I want to give it to you tonight and whenever you want it, y/n. Now let me get back to this very very important job.”

He moved back to sucking and nipping at y/n’s warm skin and his mouth moved lower to a more sensitive area. As his tongue started working the spot on her chest and his hands worked over his body as well, y/n leaned her head back and let out a gasp. y/n ran her hands through his short hair. As Aaron kept working fervently and lovingly, she realized how much better was to experience all things with a clear head. Especially when it came to scenarios like this. To feel Aaron taking care of her with such love and desire was the best feeling she could ever have. When they were like this, giving themselves to the other, the idea of a drink, no matter how good, would never even cross y/n’s mind. As y/n let out the first soft moan of Aaron’s name and his hands moved to her thighs, y/n gave into the passion of the night because when it came down to it, Aaron was the best drug of all.

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honeycollectswhump · 1 year

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Whumper's title

[masterlist]

It was the end of a lazy evening. Caretaker stretched as the credits of the last movie rolled. Whumpee was draped across her lap and had apparently fallen asleep somewhere during the movie. She wasn’t sure if he even witnessed the climax. Even asleep Whumpee had a soft smile on his lips; he seemed truly at peace.

It hadn’t always been like that.

A year ago, serenity like this would have been unthinkable. Maybe he would have crawled into her lap if she ordered him to, but he wouldn’t have allowed himself to relax. He wouldn’t have been able to.

A year ago, he still called himself Pet or Mutt. He would beg for punishment, beg to be allowed necessities like sleep or food. But never for mercy because he’d thought he didn’t deserve it.

A year ago, Whumpee didn’t even remember they lived together for years prior.

But he did now, and that was all that mattered. God, how she had missed him and the time they spent together. Caretaker wanted to savor it all, savor every little moment she could spend with him.

With a smile playing on her lips, she brushed a stray piece of hair from his scarred face. She didn’t want to wake Whumpee up but she would have to. No matter how much she wanted it, they couldn’t spend the night like this. In the morning, his already aching back would trouble him even more. He was frankly too big for her couch, his feet already dangling over the side. With one hand she was playing with his soft curls, scratching the nape of his neck, and trying to grab the remote with the other – without success.

It had to be done. Caretaker softly whispered his name, tracing his jawline in an attempt to wake him up. He wouldn't budge.

“Whumpee”, the name came out as a soft chuckle. “Whumpee, you need to wake up.”

Again, nothing.

This time she held him by his shoulders and started shaking him gently. Two bleary brown eyes stared up at her, blinking a couple of times. A sleepy groan escaped his lips as he struggled to sit upright. Somehow Caretaker doubted that Whumpee was truly awake.

She stood up and held her hand out to him. “Let’s get you to bed, big guy.”

Loosely, he took her hands and let himself be pulled up, almost immediately resting his head on top of hers.

“Yes, Master”, he breathed into her hair.

Caretaker could feel her blood running cold. She froze, waiting for any indication of what happened, any sign that Whumpee wasn’t feeling well.

But he didn’t. He didn’t tense up or start shaking. He didn’t fall on his knees or stare at her in adoration and obedience or wait for her order. In fact, he didn’t seem to even realize what he’d said. Instead, he just nuzzled further into her locks, almost falling asleep on his feet.

Slowly, she took a step backward, his hands still in hers, waiting to see if he’d follow. Whumpee shuffled along, although at a snail’s pace. Caretaker didn’t know whether to bring up what had happened but one look in his half-lidded eyes told her that any attempt at communication would just pass by him. Chances were he wouldn’t even remember how he got to bed in the morning.

She took him upstairs where –at the sight of his own bed– he staggered forward and flopped down on his messy sheets. Caretaker followed him inside to tuck him in. While she was securing the blanket under his shoulders, Whumpee loosely grabbed one of her hands in his much bigger one and pressed it to his cheek.

“G’night…”, he murmured into her hand.

She couldn’t understand what he said after that and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

This is very much inspired by this post by @whumpadventureprompts (i couldn't find how you want to be tagged when people use your prompts so i hope this is alright)

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spicerackofblorbos · 4 months

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Epilogue

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, eventual smut

☾ Author's note ➼ Heeeeyy I'm back. If you haven't had an eye on my masterlist for Unspoken Words, you might have missed that I've been working on an epilogue. SURPRISE. If you have, then here it is lol. I am OFFICIALLY done with UW and I'm so sad about it. ALSO for some reason my tumblr app hates me and any time I italicize a line, it italicizes the entire paragraph and I have no idea why. As always, the sign language lines are marked with ' and speaking lines marked with ".

Thank you to anyone who has taken time out of their lives to read my "little" story. I enjoyed writing about this little world and I could not be happier to know that most of you liked reading it. I appreciate you more than you know. Can you believe this is around 100k words? Crazy. Anyways, I'm gonna go write some more, I'll see ya around! <3

☾ Word Count ➼ ~4k

Reddish-orange leaves dance in a unique ballet number past the window you were currently staring out of. You can't keep your fingers from picking at the sleeves of your wool sweater as you wait for your speech therapist to come and get you from the semi-quiet lobby. The only noises you hear comes from the reception desk and the TV mounted opposite of the couch you were waiting on. The weather channel calls for a beautiful weekend with warmer than usual temperatures – which is good considering Halloween is tomorrow.

A side door leading to the back offices opens up, and your name is called from a stout brunette woman with large rimmed glasses and a kind smile. She holds it open as she beckons you forward, and you don't hesitate to smile back as you pick up your bag and make your way through the door and down the familiar hall on her heels.

You’ve been seeing Dr. Boreal for about almost two years now. You started speech therapy shortly after starting trauma therapy – something they had recommended. You weren't quick to decline the suggestion, but you'd be lying if you said you had ever thought about taking back your speech. Some time in your youth, you just assumed it was gone forever. That it was something that couldn't be fixed.

According to Dr. Foust, your trauma therapist, the speech block was mental. Therefore, it was something that could be explored and possibly broken through.

When he had said that, you had newfound hope and suddenly a silent goal to work towards.

It's like clockwork the way you stepped into Dr. Boreal's navy blue office, stepping over to the right and onto the plush cream colored couch meant just for patients. On the walls of her office sits multiple picture frames and motivational posters, all with smiles and bright colors. Her dark curtains sit parted, letting in the afternoon autumn sun that hits the wall next to you. You watch as she grabs the folder with your name on it before sitting in her large red chair and smiling over to you.

“So, how have you been? How was your trip with Levi?”

‘I’m doing well. And It was lovely! You were right, too. The road to Trost is gorgeous this time of year and the trees! So pretty.’ You think back at the little vacation Levi took you on just a week ago. He had taken the scenic route to the little town that you and he had rented a cabin in.

The leaves were at the end of their life and littered the ground wherever you went, crunching underneath your boots. Between the intimate moments and crisp atmosphere, it really was a magical time. Levi practically had to drag you back home.

On the way out, Levi found this adorable tea shop. It's not easy finding a place that made tea as well as he did, and of course he didn't say anything, but you could tell how much he enjoyed it. You won't soon forget the content on his normally stoic face. That reminds you of the little package snuggled in your purse so you reach down into it to pull out a small, rectangular tin.

‘I got this for you.’ You beam at her as you hand it over gently.

“Cranberry autumn tea?” She inspects the wording on the metal, hazel eyes glittering gold in the sunlight that reflects off the container. Her eyes shift to you as a grateful smile lights up her weathered face. “Oh you sweet thing, thank you so much. But you shouldn't have.”

‘As thanks for dealing with me.’ You laugh softly, leaning back into the plush couch.

“You know it's no problem. Even if I wasn't paid, I'd still enjoy your company.” She waves dismissively after setting her gift down on the table in front of her. “So, let's see where we left off last time.”

You pick at the edges of your sleeves once again as you watch her find the right place in her notes. Dr. Boreal is one of the kindest people you've had the pleasure of being around. Though she was being paid to help you, she always did so much more. She was patient with you when you struggled to get past certain goals, and when your voice hurt after a grueling session she would bring you herbal tea with honey to smooth the pain. Levi joked that you liked her tea more than his to which you always rolled your eyes at.

“Well you have made outstanding progress. Of course, there is still plenty we still need to work on. But you're doing well.” She looks down at her papers as she talks, the scratch of her pen fills the silence after she finishes. She looks back up to you. “Have you shown anyone your progress yet?”

Those around you are aware of your long journey through therapy. They even celebrated with you after one year - Hange's idea of course. Your sister couldn't hold it in when you had told them of the progress you've made and the goals you were looking forward to completing in the oncoming sessions.

What they didn't know was that you were even in speech therapy, and how far in your speech recovery you were. Keeping it secret from Levi was getting harder with every passing week.

‘No, but I plan to soon, I promise.’ You pinch your lips together in a grimace. This has been a threat for the last 6 months but truthfully, you've been too scared to tell anyone. No, not scared. Nervous.

“Well, you know my stance on that. I’m sure they're going to be ecstatic, when you're ready to do so.” Dr. Boreal sets out a recorder to let you hear your voice the way she does, a tool you both found the most helpful when it came to fixing the areas that needed the most work. “Enough of that though, are you ready to start?”

With a confident smile, you open your mouth to speak.

A few hours later, you find yourself home and in the kitchen with your mind in another dimension. You’re currently plating up a vegetable tray on a tupperware platter as autumnal lofi weaves through the room from the speakers behind you. You’re so focused on arranging your sliced up miscellaneous veggies that you don't hear the metal key in the front door and the light footsteps of your boyfriend coming home for the evening.

“Hey.” Levi mutters from behind you, snaking his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder to look at what you're doing – not without difficulty, of course. You jump at his sudden proximity causing you to drop the chosen dipping sauces in the middle of the platter, disturbing the once perfect arrangement.

There's a soft sigh from you, but you feel the giddiness at the expected company fluttering in your stomach. Even after a few years, he still gives you that effect. You twist in his arms to face him, and his gray eyes are downturned in concern.

“Are you okay? Was therapy too much today?” He lessens his grip on you so you can pull your hands up to sign.

Levi Ackerman’s raven hair is slicked back from him running his fingers through it, and the way that it stayed put and the sheen on the strands, you can tell it must be raining. You've been so fixated on making sure it looked good that you hadn't even noticed. His gaze stares into yours as he searches for what might be bothering you, so you give him a reassuring smile.

‘No, it was actually really good. She said I've made a lot of progress.’

“That's good. Did you come home late, or have you been working on this tray the whole time?” He glances over your shoulder at the vegetables now thrown about on the counter.

‘Yes and no. I decided to run by the farmers market for more options. But they didn't have anything we didn't already have.’ You explain, shrugging your shoulders.

The afternoon sun was so nice on your face that you would have been a fool to not take advantage of it - and it's a good thing you did. Your eyes slide to the water droplets that drip down on the outside of the living room windows.

“Hm. Well we need to leave for Hange's party soon and you're not dressed. Let me finish this for you and you go get ready.” He leans in to kiss your forehead before unraveling his arms and pushing you in the direction of the bedroom. You only roll your eyes but make your way to the back as he asked.

Hange's Halloween Bash is something they have been planning for about a year. The moment the decorations went on sale last winter, she snatched up what she could. She said something about starting a new tradition for her friends turned family. Levi wasn't as excited about the prospect of such a social gathering but you were, and that was enough to get him to go.

Not only were you able to get him to go, you were also able to talk him into dressing up with you.

In front of the mirror, you finish tying up a black corset that wraps around your waist. It helps form-fit the blue long sleeve dress that drops down to your bare ankles with your pair of flats completing the look. You were almost ready – all that was left was the big blue bow that you pinned to the back of your head as best you could. You suppose for a makeshift Ariel, this would do just fine. You almost chuckle at the irony of the characters you suggested to Levi a month ago.

A girl who can't talk and a prince that loved her despite it.

You do a small twirl in the mirror to make sure everything looks right. You almost jump out of your skin at the sudden sight of the person standing in the doorway. Levi leans against the door frame, the corner of his mouth twitching into a small smirk. His hands are in the pockets of his work clothes as he watches you intently, taking in the sight of you. With a hand over your heart, you give him a small frown.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.” He doesn't sound sorry at all.

‘You are too quiet for your own good. One day you're going to scare me so bad that I'm going to punch you.’ You shake your head but smile anyways. You make your way to the closet to pull out Levi's costume for the night, making sure to grab the red waist sash that threatens to fall to the floor.

“You keep saying that.” He takes the hanger from you but not before leaning in to give you a chaste kiss. With a small laugh, you head out of the bedroom and down the hall back to the kitchen.

On your way there, you take a moment to glance at the framed photographs on the walls. Levi made sure to hang up the pictures he took from his apartment that he shared with Erwin as soon as you both moved in.

There was the one of him, Furlan, and Isabel as well as the one of him and Erwin on graduation day though Levi had persisted with Erwin to keep the latter. His blonde and blue eyed friend told him to take it as he had plenty more photos of the two he could hang up. That didn’t make Levi feel any better and it makes you wonder what photos Levi might be hiding from you.

Dispersed in between those are ones of you and Hange, and some with your shared circle of friends. The last one frames three photo strips next to each other. The first one is from your first Sakura Festival a few years ago where you sat on Levi's lap – both red faced and unaware of the extent of your affections for each other.

The other two are from the same photo booth, taken from the previous and current year. With each year, the smiles and looks of adoration grew. Both, luckily, were without the presence of your sister and Erwin. Surprisingly, it wasn't your idea to go back. As much as Levi did his best to hide his sentimental side, it was always present.

When you get to the kitchen counter, you see the platter rearranged and closed up with the matching plastic lid. It looks perfect, even better than when you took a crack at it. You also see two cups of tea on the counter, both with steam rising up and dancing in the kitchen lights before dissipating into the air.

With a grin, you reach over to grab what you can only assume is yours based on the light color of your tea then walk around the island to sit on the bar stool, leaning on the counter with the mug in both hands. After your first sip, you sigh happily. It was one of the new teas Levi had brought back from the trip because he couldn't get enough of it. Earthy with hints of floral notes, topped with a citrusy zing.

When you start to wonder if Levi was okay, your eyes catch movement in the hallway. You watch Levi struggle with his sash, the soft grumbling of his irritation coming from under his breath as he tugs on it. Sometimes you never realize how hard it is to do something with less than the normal amount of fingers until it's forced upon you. Of course, Levi was never one to ask for help even after all these years.

Without a second thought, you stand up and make your way over to him. He doesn't fight as you take the fabric from his fingers and tighten it from the back. Tucked into the sash is a white blouse, loose enough to billow in the evening breeze. Black pants and matching boots fit snug against his lower half. When you're done, you turn him to face you to inspect the whole ensemble. With his hair properly slicked back, he was the perfect Prince Eric.

‘You look rather dashing, you know that?’

“Tch.” He rolls his eyes at you, but there's not a trace of annoyance radiating off of him. As much as he hates it, he loves you and would do anything you asked – within reason.

‘Are you almost ready to go?’

“In a few, I didn't just brew this for nothing.” He makes his way to the counter to grab his mug and instead of sitting, he stands propped up against the counter like you were but with his phone in hand.

“Your sister wants to know if you want apple juice or apple cider.” He mutters, his gray eyes flicking up over to you as you make your way over to the seat you were just at to finish your own cup. “Both, right?”

‘How did you know?’ You laugh, but nod in agreement. You watch as his fingers type away, the clicking of the keys filling back empty space. There's barely any sunlight coming through the closed blinds signifying that nightfall was almost here. You just now noticed Levi had gone ahead and turned off everything for you while you were getting ready.

The gut feeling you felt last week is back. There was a moment when Levi drove through the rolling hills, the golden rays of sunset lighting up his face. A moment of peace that washed over you as his soft gaze flitted over to you in the passenger seat for only a second, one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh.

With a nervous sigh, you reach over and pull down his phone with one finger to get his attention. Instantly he looks at you with worry, his mouth downturned.

“Are you okay?”

‘I bet you love me.’

His eyebrows raise, a little surprised at your random question – at something so obvious that he worries even more that something is wrong.

“What’s this about?”

‘Humor me. I bet you love me.’

“You bet right.” He draws out, confusion lacing his tone.

‘You have to answer a question now. Since I was right.’

“What do you want to know that you don’t already?” His eyes roll at you again, but he sets his phone and mug down and leans over on his elbows to watch you intently.

‘It’s a simple but very important question, I promise.’

“Tch, okay. Hit me.”

Your eyes are suddenly fixated on the fridge to the right of you, the heat of his stare making you shy. For a split second, you almost chicken out. With your heart in your throat, you feel as if you're going to choke as your pulse quickens. Can you do this? Were you ready for this? You were quite tired after today, maybe it's best saved for another day. These thoughts race loudly in your head, but the moment you look back up to meet Levi's gaze, they cease to a quiet murmur.

No, you're ready. And you can do this.

With your fingers laced together, you rest your chin on them and continue to look up at Levi's perplexed expression. Your mouth opens and closes a few times before you're finally able to find your voice.

“Will… you marry… me, Levi?” Your voice is scratchy despite the honey tea you drank after your session. It's rough, and to you it's far from pretty. But the change in expression on Levi's face is almost worth it as he stares at you dazed. It's almost funny to see the physical reaction of his brain comprehending what just happened, like a computer crashing and rebooting.

He's reaching over the counter suddenly and cupping your face in his calloused hands. He holds you there as his wide eyes bounce back and forth between yours. You fight back a laugh, your lips pinched together and quivering.

“Do that again. Say my name again.” The urgency in his voice is palpable.

“L…” You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying to find your voice yet again. It's hard, but you try again anyway. “Levi.” It comes out brittle this time, leaving an uncomfortable pain in its wake.

“How did this happen?” His own voice sounds a little higher than before, and you have to bite back another laugh.

‘I've been working on it alongside my sessions with Foust.’ You've met your vocal quota for the day. Levi's hands stay cupped around your cheeks and he pulls you in until his soft lips touch yours again. Your eyes flutter closed as you kiss him back, feeling the weight of your anxiety lift off your shoulders in an instant.

When he pulls away, his stare is conflicted and before you know it, he's released you and whips around the corner down the hallway. Dread inches its way into your chest where the anxiety was before as you realize he never answered your question. Did he need a moment? Did he even hear what you asked? The shock may have been too much. Your teeth bite into the inside of your cheek as you watch the dark hallway nervously.

A few seconds later, he emerges from the shadows with red creeping from his neck up into his face. He's flustered and holding something small in his hand. It takes you a moment to register what it was, and when you do, you jump to your feet to meet him halfway.

He doesn’t hesitate to open it to you though his fingers tremble ever so slightly. Inside are two golden rings, interlocked together. A small oval ruby sits surrounded by metal vines beset by smaller white diamonds in the shape of leaves. It's simple yet elegant. Your eyes snap up to his, no doubt as big as saucers.

Not only is this ring breathtaking, it's also groundbreaking to you. You've seen this ring box around since before you both had moved in together. It's been in the closet collecting dust, so of course you didn't think anything of it. He's had this ring for a long time, sitting right under your nose.

‘How long were you planning to propose?’

“For a while now. I just didn't know when would be a good time.” He carefully takes out the one with the red ruby and holds it up to you. The kitchen lights glimmer off the smooth surface reflecting red against his fingers. “I can't believe you beat me to it, though.” So he did hear you.

‘I wasn't planning to do it tonight, but I just had a feeling.’

“You never cease to amaze me, you know that?” He leans over to place the ring box onto the side table behind him, then turns to you. Then he does something you've only ever seen in movies – Levi gets down on one knee and the ring out to you.

“Um. I'm not good with things like this. But I just want you to know that I love you. And I've never been more prepared to spend my life with someone, if you'll have me. Will you marry me?” His eyes look away for a second before focusing back on you. Even though you had pretty much said yes when you asked first, he still seemed so nervous.

To see Levi in such a mess like this in front of you makes that laugh you held back burst forth, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Speechless again, you reach your hand out to him and just like that, he slides the ring on your finger with ease.

“I- uh, borrowed one of your rings to get it resized.” He mutters as you stare at it curiously. “So, that's a yes right?” Even though you took the ring, you can still hear the anxiety in his voice.

‘Of course, dummy.’ You laugh again before pulling him up on his feet by his collar and into you for another kiss, this time deeper and full of the love that you have for this man. When you pull away, you can't help but stare at the metal hugging your ring finger.

“It was my mom’s, she insisted on me having it. I think she knew.” He grabs your hand and pulls you into him, one hand on your waist and the other cupping your face. “I suppose we should call her tomorrow, yeah?”

You nod sharply, your smile hurting your cheeks, but you don't care. All you feel right now is the same peace you felt last week and excitement for the future ahead. You didn't want anyone else.

“Say it again?”

“Levi.” He leans in again, hand still on your face as he presses his lips against your once more. There have been many shared kisses since you both became official but this one felt different. You didn't have the words for it, but it was miles away from being bad.

Levi's phone vibrating loudly on the counter disturbs the comfortable silence and you can only sigh. You almost forgot that you had somewhere to be and are reminded by the caller ID flashing your sister's name. In Levi fashion, he ignores it but he does pull away to look at you with a grimace.

“So who’s telling them?”

☾ Previous Chapter: June - Part 5

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theywhowriteandknowthings · 1 year

Text

Dealing with Dieter Ch1 of Dieter x F!PA!Reader

Summary: You're Dieter Bravo's longest standing PA/Aide and have managed to keep your walls up around him. He's too much of a mess, too arrogant, and too... well, Dieter, for you. But when his behaviours start to change you consider the quiet "what-ifs" you had ignored for so long. A/N: I know little about Hollywood and how it all works (SORRY) Had some fun with this, will be Smutty later on!

Warnings: drug use/abuse, recovery from addiction, sobriety, sexual themes, minors DNI, 18+ only as is my entire blog.

Chapter 1: Don’t Read Lines with Dieter.

Your name is called, no, screamed, across the set and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Elaine, the head of crew management’s voice is like nails on a chalk board as you turn slowly to face her, your fake smile Oscar-worthy as you get ready for yet another lecture on something you were positive wasn’t your fault. The one thing you’d learned over the past year was that being the aide to Dieter somehow meant you had been pegged as everyone’s punching bag.

“Hey Elaine, what’s up?” You ask, trying to keep up the façade as you have places you need to be, Dieter was cranky if he didn’t get his kale and kiwi smoothie by midday.

“Shits hit the fan, Dieter’s been out all night, strung out on whatever he can snort,” Elaine spews the dirty details at you and you try not to roll your eyes, of course Dieter was recovering from a bender, that was kind of his whole personality, “I need you to make sure he’s not OD-ing, and look after him.” Elain spits, as if you were the reason he had gone off the rails.

“That’s my job Elaine, wrangling his drug benders, getting him on set. I know the deal.” You say as politely as your fatigued brain can muster.

“Good, if he’s not on set in an hour you’re responsible.” Elaine snaps before turning away, snapping her Prada heels loudly on the concrete as if to punctuate her statement.

You sigh to yourself as you prep for the entry to Dieter’s lair. His trailer was nothing to look at from the outside but you know, from overexposure, how much Dieter morphed his trailer onto his own personal sanctum.

There was always one rule, something every other aide on set had warned you about, something you had always abided by: Don’t Read Lines with Dieter. You never questioned why, and you dutifully turned him down every time he asked. Your job was almost always about slipping him some dubiously sourced Narcan when shit got too heavy, and getting him out of bed when he was being a brat. So even if you wanted to, you never had the time.

You’d lasted much longer than his previous aides but you just put it down to your resilience, your ability to play by the rules. You’d been Dieter’s aide for almost a year, a record if you listened to the gossip around Hollywood but it didn’t matter. He was a diva, the kind of person you’d always had to deal with in life. You’d even dated a few men like him in your years working in Hollywood, they were all the same.

You trudge over to his trailer and open the door with your key. The miasma of weed and some kind of earthy incense spilling out into the already blistering heat of the day, if you could thank Dieter for one thing, it was breaking your previously unhealthy relationship with weed. The lights are off and you brace yourself for the barrage of insults as you swipe your hand upwards on the bank of switches near the door. The hiss from the bedroom at the other end of the trailer makes you smile to yourself in morbid satisfaction.

The truth is, you think Dieter is a sweetheart deep down, but between the drugs, refusal to get therapy, and the over-inflated ego that came with being one the most popular actors in Hollywood, he was a mess. A mess you were paid to deal with, and you were happy with that reality. Even if you caught yourself fantasising about the beautiful, broken man more often than you’d care to admit.

I get paid to deal with his mess professionally, no money in the world would be enough to deal with him personally.

You think to yourself as you scan the interior of the trailer, you could only describe it as the abode of a swamp-dwelling cryptid with a penchant for Prince and chocolate fudge Pop Tarts. You can’t see any evidence of pills, coke, or LSD tabs on the counters.

But you could have sworn he was getting better at hiding the evidence, ever since you found him six months ago, unresponsive on his bathroom floor. You’d really thought he was dead that time. You’d given him CPR and once he was breathing again you sat with his head in your lap, jeans soaked in the blood that poured from his nose.

You remember telling him how much you were going to kill him when he woke up, how pissed you were he was going to make you lose your job. It was all said without any thought in your mind, other than that he had to be ok and if you berated him, if you could joke and scold him he’d be ok. Right?

The EMTs praised you for keeping him stable and he was out of hospital the next day. You had given him the cold shoulder for days after that, only doing the bare minimum for him until he finally surprised you with a first edition of The Picture of Dorian Grey, which you refused to take, but the gesture alone meant he listened to you when you talked about yourself.

It was then that you first felt something for Dieter, but you forced that feeling deep down, not wanting to get involved with a man like him. You were content to be his aide, and, you hoped, his friend.

You snap out of your thoughts and pick up the gaudy rainbow coloured mosaic ashtray and are surprised to find it is absent of any residue, not even cigarette ash. Now, you’re worried. If he wasn’t sleeping off a bender what was wrong? You wipe your index finger along the grooves and cracks and it comes back spotless.

“Dieter, you ok in there buddy?” You adopt a soft, mothering tone, knowing that he needed that comfort when he’s low, and right now you’re terrified of how far he had spiralled, and what he’d been using to cope.

“No.” The soft moan pulls on your heartstrings, he sounds awful, but he’s lucid, without a hint of a slur to his voice.

“You decent in there? Can I come in?” You ask as you wade through the piles of dirty clothes, empty Pop Tart boxes, and his collection of body pillows. You shake your head, seeing Brendan Fraiser’s charming smile smirk up at you from Dieter’s Rick O’Connell body pillow. You flip it over instinctively only to regret it instantly, the stain on the back of the pillow only too obvious as you roll your eyes.

“I’m dressed, please come in.” He pleads and you pull across the make-shift curtain Dieter always insisted on attaching to every bedroom compartment in every trailer he claimed as his own. This time it was a giant fleece blanket with a giant wolf head emblazoned on it, hanging upside down, because of course it was.

“Dieter, I’ve got Elaine on my ass, you’re needed on set, like an hour ago,” You scold him as you cross the threshold, “What’s going on?” You look down to see Dieter’s handsome face poking out of a mountain of blankets and pillows. His scruffy beard and fluffy hair haloed by a sheet like a little Slavic Grandmother. Well, a Grandmother with black-out designer sunglasses perched on the end of their nose.

“You look pretty today.” Dieter grumbles as he eyes you with glassy, red-rimmed eyes, but unlike him it was clearly from crying, not from being stoned out of his mind.

“You say that everyday Dieter honey.” You respond with a shake of your head, you’re in high-top Vans with a neon orange stripe down the side, loose cargo trousers, and an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Nothing out of the usual, but the way Dieter’s bleary eyes are raking over you, you could swear you were basically naked before him. He was always flirty but this was something else, and you didn’t know how to feel about it.

“I always mean it.” He grumbles and you can’t help but smile at his insolence.

“Alright, so what’s got you so worked up? I’m going to lose my job if you don’t get it together man.” You say softly as you sit on the base of the bed. The weed smell is stronger here but you catch a hint of the cherry blossom and strawberry gel you used. Dieter had stolen it from your overnight bag, again, you sigh as you realise and give him a look that could wither even the hardest men to dust. But Dieter just grins at you.

“I’m just sad Princesa,” God, you hated it when he called you that, “Anika’s got a new boyfriend, and she’s happy.” He sighs dramatically as he snakes a hand out of the many holds of his blanket mound before patting the bed next to him, encouraging you to move closer.

“Dieter come on, I don’t have time for this.” You protest, folding your arms over your chest as you stare him down. He returns the glare with his most charming smile, looking at you over his shades.

“Please, I just need five minutes, that’s all Princesa.” His doe eyes are killer and if it were any other day, if he had been stoned or comatose, or in need of physical assistance you’d have done what needed to be done and moved on with your day. But the vulnerability, the sober look on his face assaulted your well-constructed walls, leaving a hairline fracture, a weak point that you knew very well he could exploit.

You scoot ever so slightly closer, turning to sit perpendicular to him, your body facing the Prince poster on his wall, you feel his eyes burning a hole into your temple as you refuse to make eye contact.

“Fine, be like that, I’m going back to watching TikTok’s in my cocoon.” Dieter huffs and you turn just to see him vanish back into the sheets.

“Oh no you fucking don’t!” You growl as you tug at the edge of the closest blanket but it doesn’t shift. You huff in frustration as you try again but to no avail. Then you hear it, the childish giggle from deep within the sheets. He was enjoying this, of course he was. But you can’t help but feel the flutter of nervous energy in your stomach, you’d seen Dieter in all stages of stoned, every measure of undress, but this was different. Right now he’s lucid and you weren’t putting him in the recovery position to stop him choking on his own vomit, or pulling him out of the bath so he wouldn’t drown.

“Dieter if you don’t come out in five seconds I’ll call Travis and he’ll haul your ass out of here.” You threaten, Travis hated Dieter with a passion, he had lost a tooth and broken multiple ribs wrangling the Oscar-winning man-child. But you didn’t want to, not at all. If you had to call him in you’d owe him one and Dieter wouldn’t talk to you for weeks. Neither of which was appealing but you would do what you had to for the sake of your career.

“No, you won’t, you’ll have to go on another mind-numbing date with him if you do.” Dieter says and you can hear the smirk in his voice through the blankets and you sigh, knowing that whatever you were going to do was going to cost you, it was just a matter of which man you would owe.

“What do I have to do to get you out on set?” You ask, defeat colouring your tone as you check your phone, you’d already wasted twenty minutes and Elaine had sent you three voice messages in that time.

Why can’t she just text like a normal person?

You ask yourself as you lock your phone and turn it back over on the bed next to you.

“Go to dinner with me.” He says as you feel the bed shift under you, Dieter’s head pokes back out of the blankets and you turn to glare at him. Somehow his shades are still perfectly placed, as if they were truly part of his face.

“No.” You refuse, you very much believed in don’t shit where you eat and Dieter, as much as you would have secretly killed to go to dinner with him, was no exception.

“A movie?” He persists and you try not to crack a smile at the way his cheek is dimpling as he grins at you.

“I hate theaters, so pass.” You grumble but you feel the tension building in your gut as you try not to fall for his tricks.

He’s a womanizer, he’s trying to get back at Anika, he just wants to use you.

“We could watch it in here, I’ve got an iPad and snacks.” He says with a suggestive waggle of his thick brows. It’s cheesy but you can’t help but smile.

“I am not spending multiple hours in your trailer with you Dieter, I might die of second-hand weed exposure.” You argue and Dieter laughs softly at that.

“That isn’t a thing Princesa,” He says with a pout and you find yourself fixating on the way his lips look so plush, so kissable, you blink and turn away, heat spreading up the column of your neck, “Fine, how about a kiss.” He purrs and your face explodes in heat as you snap your head to look back at him.

“That’s it, I’m getting Travis, fucking asshole.” You spit as you spring from the bed, whipping past the stupid wolf blanket, tears of frustration wetting your cheeks as you feel the sting of shame deep in your chest. You didn’t like being played the fool, especially by a man like Dieter. Especially by Dieter.

“Hey!” Dieter calls from his cocoon and you hear him swearing in Spanish as he tries to untangle himself.

You reach the door to the trailer and you’re ripping it open as a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you back from the steps as you feel the warm press of Dieter’s chest on your back. His nose is buried in your hair just behind your left ear. You stifle a moan at the way his breath ghosts your skin, at how his arms cage you against him.

You can smell the cherry blossom and strawberry shower gel on his skin, mixed with the musk and rich, earthy smell that simply is Dieter. You’re loath to admit makes you weak at the knees. You’d put up every wall, every boundary in your mind to stop this from happening. The door clicks loudly in your ears as it closes, your heart is in your throat as you try to wrestle the sensible part of your brain to the front of your mind. But it’s a distant whisper now, all you can think of is how much you want to kiss Dieter, to let him fuck you until you screamed like all the other girls you’d heard him with over the last year.

“Dieter,” Your voice is a hoarse scratch in the back of your throat as you put your hands on his arms, pressing lightly against his firm grip, “Let me go, I’m going to lose my job if you don’t.”

Dieter doesn’t say anything, instead his lips find your neck and you can’t stop yourself from whining at the soft, chaste press of his lips as he hums just behind the shell of your ear. Then his grip loosens, releasing you as his lips leave your skin. You gasp at the loss of sensation and spin to look at him, his eyes are soft as he looks down at you.

“The fuck was that?” You demand, you shove him with both hands and he stumbles back but it’s controlled, like he expected it.

“I got my kiss, now, I’m going to do my job.” He says softly as he slips past you, his body brushing yours as you feel like you’ve been struck by lightning. You stand there, dumbstruck as he closes the trailer door behind him and you’re left, furious at yourself, at Dieter, at everything and everyone in the whole goddamn world.

But most of all, you’re so turned on, so wound up by the simple kiss, the way he held you, inhaling you like a delicate flower. You slam your fist against the wall behind you in frustration before storming out of the trailer.

One Week Later

It’s Friday night and you’re sat at the bar in The Burgundy Room. You’re waiting for Jason, the man who had gotten you the Dieter gig in the first place. You scroll through your Instagram feed without much care, liking your mom’s photo of her new kitten, your friend from high school’s pregnancy announcement. But you aren’t really paying attention, you’re just trying to stop yourself from aimlessly scrolling through Dieter’s profile for the fourth time in twenty minutes.

Dieter had been on his best behaviour all week, so well behaved that your job had almost become obsolete. He went out for a run in the mornings, picked up his own smoothie, went to bed at a sensible hour, didn’t snort, drink, or smoke himself into oblivion. Elaine even commended you for your hard work.

Yet it all felt hollow, you should be pleased, thrilled even, to have achieved such a feat. But you were miserable. Dieter hadn’t so much as looked at you, even when you were handing him revised scripts, press junket info, even his goddamned lunch. He just took it from you at the door and every time he would thank you with his shades hiding his eyes from you before locking the trailer door behind him.

“Bitch it’s Friday night why are you looking so glum?” Jason’s very LA, very gay, soprano lilt snaps you out of the hole you’d been boring into the varnished wood of the bar with your gaze. He’s dressed in a deep red short sleeve shirt, unbuttoned just so you could see the dark hair creeping across his chest, his tight jeans left little to the imagination and you smiled at the beautifully made-up face you only hoped to aspire too. He was a make-up artist after all.

“Me? Glum? Never!” You retort with a broad smile already forming on your lips as you stand to pull Jason into a tight hug. He smells of expensive cologne and you wrinkle your nose at how strong it is.

“Please, you’re the most boring bisexual I know, it’s why I thought you’d be good with Dieter.” Jason huffs as he waves to the bartender to get his attention.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You glower at him playfully, retaking your seat as you notice a notification on your phone.

Dieter Bravo (@DiertyBiatch) has started a live video.

You roll your eyes and tuck your phone back into your purse on the bar, returning your attention to Jason.

“As I was saying,” He raises an eyebrow at you judgingly, clearly having seen the notification before you stowed your phone, “If anyone can stick around Dieter and not fall onto his giant dick, it’s you.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question.” You grumble, heat spreading to your cheekbones as you try not to think about Dieter’s giant dick.

“Anyway, you’re looking fucking hot, love the dress on you, you should wear dresses more often.” Jason says with a smile, clearly not willing to elaborate on his comment about you being a boring bisexual. You shake your head and smooth down the sleek black dress over your thighs. The neckline was scandalous and your heels taller than you’d usually wear but you were miserable and dressing up was a sure-fire way to get you in a better mood.

“I just wanted to feel good, it’s been a rough week.” You grumble, trying not to give too much away, Jason, as much as you love him, is a gossip.

“Come on spill, you can’t just say that and not tell me more.” He gushes as the bartender arrives.

“Two beers please, thanks.” Jason says without looking at the young man behind the bar, who promptly rolls his eyes before disappearing back along the bar.

“I’m worried about Dieter.” You say softly as you feel your phone vibrate in your purse but you ignore it, taking the beer from the bartender as it arrives before handing him a larger than needed tip. As you dip your wallet back into your purse you feel the vibrations again, and again. But you ignore it once more, wanting to get this off your chest with Jason.

“Ok? Isn’t that kind of your job?” Jason asks with a shrug, brow furrowed in concern as he tries to figure out what the problem is.

“Well, that’s kind of it, he’s not needed my help, he’s weirdly functional.” You say as you gulp down the pilsner, the bitter malty liquid a cool reprieve in the California heat.

“On drugs functional or ‘functional’ functional?” Jason asks making air quotes with his hands, his phone vibrates on the bar and it’s your turn to frown but you continue.

“I think he’s been sober, like, actually sober for at least a week, and he’s basically ignoring me.” You say with a shrug, it bothered you how much you missed him.

“And that’s a bad thing?” He asks, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well, no, but…” You trail off not wanting to admit you missed him.

“You’re not bothered about the sober bit, but the ignoring you bit?” Jason says with a knowing smile.

“Something like that.” You groan, but before Jason can say another word both your phones blow up with vibrations too frequent to ignore now.

“What the hell?” You say in unison as you meet eyes and laugh.

“It’s not an emergency alert.” You remark as you look around the bar to see the other patrons getting on with their night.

“Oh shit, check your Insta.” Jason gasps as he begins frantically scrolling.

“What? Why?” You ask as you pull out your phone, your notifications are at the limit, with your phone display simply showing you 99+ Notifications for your personal Instagram account, the private one you only used for friends and family, not your professional one you use for work.

“What the f-?” You start as you open up the live video Dieter was putting out.

“So there you have it, ladies, gents, those who don’t conform to gender’s bullshit norms, I’m off the market. Have a great night and sleep well my Dierty Biatches!” Dieter signs off and you look at Jason in horror.

“You don’t think-?” You ask, petrified of finishing the question.

“Oh shit, he’s tagged your private profile in the comments, and scrubbing back through the video he mentions you by name.” Jason’s eyes are wide as he continues to scroll through the comments.

“Shit.” You don’t know what else to say, you’re in shock.

“What are you going to do?”

“Nothing,” You say as you herald the bartender once more, turning your phone off and stuffing it into your bag, “You meeting anyone tonight Jason? Because I want to get drunk.”

“Say no more, let’s go get wasted.”

“Dieter! Dieter fucking Bravo!” You bellow, smacking your broken right heel against his trailer door, not caring who else on set could hear you. Most of the other actors stayed in hotels over night anyway, it was just Dieter who lived in his trailer. You couldn’t remember how you’d broken your shoe, but it made for an excellent percussive tool.

You stumble backwards and pull your phone out of your purse, trying to remember how you got here. Your mind swirls with a noxious cocktail of too many mixed drinks as you turn it back on, forgetting already why you wanted to check it in the first place. You tap your foot impatiently as you wait for Dieter to come out, and for your phone to come back to life.

“I’m coming in!” You yell, fumbling with your keys, giggling as you sway back and forth as you try and remember which one to use. By some miracle you get it first time and burst into the trailer with about as much grace as a newborn giraffe. You stumble about in the darkness for a moment before swiping your hand up sloppily on the bank of light switches. You manage to get all but the bedroom light. You count that as a success as you trip up the stairs.

You stumble through the trailer, trying to be quiet in the way drunk people always do, and as a result, you’re like a frightened deer crashing through the length of the main body. You giggle as you fall into the kitchenette counter and knock over a glass. You hear Dieter stir in his bedroom and slap your hand over your mouth, supressing the chuckle bubbling in the back of your throat.

“Dieter?” You whisper, although it comes out as a loud, strained hiss, as you approach the wolf fleece, but he doesn’t stir again. You peel the curtain back slowly, peeking your face through into the dark bedroom beyond.

“Dieeeeter!” You say, louder this time and you watch as the dark mound of bedsheets and body pillows shifts in front of you. Dieter groans sleepily and you try to ignore the way it makes you feel, arousal pooling in your belly, tingling up your spine as you try and stay focused.

“Princesa?” Dieter mumbles sleepily and you clamp your mouth shut, denying the whimper that threatened to slip your lips.

“Dieter are you awake?” You ask, still clinging to the giant wolf headed fleece, not willing to cross the threshold yet.

“No Princesa, I’m obviously dreaming, because you’re here, after ignoring me all night, and you’re clearly drunk. None of this feels like reality.” He grumbles sarcastically and you squint as he turns of his bedside salt-lamp. The light isn’t bright enough to hurt your eyes but it’s a shock after the gloom of the bedroom.

Dieter sits there, back against the headboard as he looks at you over his sunglasses. His torso is bare and you blush as you realise he’s just wearing a pair of loose grey boxers. His hair is its usual tousled mess as he regards you with an amused smirk.

“Fuck what am I doing?” You ask yourself as you have enough presence of mind to break through the drunkenness and realise you’re literally salivating over Dieter. Your boss.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Dieter challenges you with a tilt of his head, gesturing to the bed next to him, “Don’t worry Princesa, I won’t bite.”

What if I want you to?

You think to yourself with a smile and look at Dieter’s curious eyes as you realise how much you loved it when he looked over his glasses at you, like he was really looking at you, no filtered glass, no walls. You ditch your purse and shoes at the foot of his bed and crawl onto the bed, trying, and failing miserably, to maintain some semblance of grace. You settle next to him, parallel to his thighs as you kneel on the bed next to him.

“So what do you want from me at,” Dieter pauses to check his phone for the time, “Two in the morning?” You watch his lips as he smirks at you, trying to ignore the urge to just straddle him and get it over and done with. Then a small voice in the back of your mind tells you to abort, to go home and sober up. This was a bad idea, on so many levels.

“Fuck is it really that late? I should go home, fuck I’m sorry.” You panic, already trying to scramble off the bed as Dieter takes you by the wrist, stopping your retreat. You don’t fight it, turning back towards him slowly as you see the sadness in his eyes. Your heart hitches in your chest and you flop back down on the bed. As Dieter lets your wrist go, pulling his hand back to his lap, you stop him, snatching his hand in yours and lacing your fingers together.

“I’m sorry Princesa, I’ve fucked up haven’t I?” Dieter asks as he squeezes your hand softly.

“No more than me.” You say as you rub your thumb over his knuckles, every touch sends a jolt of electricity through your veins as you try to concentrate.

”What have you done Princesa?” Dieter asks you with a stern look as he brings his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them as he looks at you with those deep brown eyes.

“I should have got in touch with you, after the video, I turned my phone off, I was…” You trail off, unable to finish your sentence as embarrassment warms your cheeks.

“You were? What? Reasonably freaked out by my publicity stunt? Angry with me for being such an idiot?”

“You’re not an idiot Dieter-,” You begin but he cuts you off.

“Don’t start lying to me now Princesa, I’ve always respected your honesty, even when it hurts.”

“You’re not,” You insist, you scoot closer to him again, this time your knee brushes his ankle and you both smile at the contact, “You may have been a little heavy handed, but an idiot? Nah, that’s the Dieter that takes too many weed gummies and passes out on the beach in nothing but your swim trunks.”

“I had such bad heatstroke that day I thought I was going to die.” Dieter chuckles at the memory and you feel the warmth flutter inside your chest at the sound.

“I’m just scared of what this will all mean, I don’t want to be looking after you if we’re going to do… this.” You say, gesturing with your free hand between you both.

“So, I guess you didn’t actually watch the video then?” Dieter says as he rolls his eyes dramatically before leaning back and opening the nightstand drawer.

“Dieter.” You warn, already trying to figure out what he was up to.

“Relax, it’s only this.” He says, handing you a small chip that you recognise immediately as a sobriety chip.

“You’re sober?” You ask as you turn it over in your hand, it’s a thirty-day chip and things slide into place. He’d not OD’d in a while, his behaviour when you thought he was strung out. None of it was his normal drug-induced maladies. It was him getting sober.

“Narcotics and other pills yeah, I still smoke a little weed and I’m drinking much less, but haven’t stopped that completely.” Dieter says with a shrug and you see the corners of his eyes crinkle at the edges as he smiles up at you.

“That’s amazing Dieter, I’m so proud of you!” You say, gripping the coin tightly in your hand as your heart swells with joy.

“All for you Princesa, wanted to get my shit together. For you.” You sit, open-mouthed at his words, trying to find the right thing to say.

“Dieter, I don’t understand? Why for me?” You ask, still not quite lucid enough to really believe what you think he’s saying.

“Because,” He says softly, taking the coin from your hand before replacing it with his large, warm hand, “I want to be better, I want to be worthy of you, I need to be.”

“Dieter, I’m drunk,” You protest, his words burn inside you, roaring through you like a wildfire, “I can’t make any decisions right now.” You fumble, registering that you weren’t lucid enough to throw yourself into his arms, but you know that you will want it in the morning. You’ve wanted it for so long, but you want to do it right.

“Of course, I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation with you until tomorrow, but well, you started banging on my door and I couldn’t just send you home in an Uber like this.” He teases and your lips twist into a smile as you pull your left hand from his and bat him playfully on the shoulder.

“I’m not that drunk,” You say, convincing neither of you, as you glower at him, “But I appreciate that, thank you Dieter.” You say softly as you rest your hand on his thigh.

“Stay the night?” Dieter asks nervously, his dark eyes wavering with uncertainty.

“Of course, I’m exhausted.” You admit, a large yawn overcomes you as if on cue.

“Thank you.” He breathes as he shifts back down into bed, pulling you to him, cradling your head against his bare chest. You breathe in the cherry blossom and strawberry shower gel and laugh, it smelled even better on him close like this, mixed with the slight perspiration of sleep and a warm, earthy smell you recognised as something uniquely Dieter.

“Hey Dieter?” You say softly as you snuggle against his side, still fully clothed, but you were too tired to care about that.

“What?” He says sleepily as he turns off the light, plunging the room into darkness, your eyelids are drooping already as you try to stay awake.

“Stop being such a cheapskate and buy your own shower gel.” You grumble as you feel the deep, warming chuckle rock through his chest.

“But it’s so much more fun stealing it from you.” He protests and you feel the press of his lips against the top of your head and you sigh contentedly at the soothing, yet somewhat arousing effect it has on you.

“Fine, I’ll let you have it on one condition.” You mumble, already half asleep as you wrap your right arm around his torso.

“What’s that?” Dieter asks as he wraps his arms around you tighter, holding you to him like you’ll disappear if he doesn’t.

“I’ve gotta be the one to apply it.” Your lips twitch up into a smirk as Dieter inhales sharply at your implication.

“How can I say no to that?” He asks, placing another kiss to the crown of your head, “Sleep Princesa, I’ll be right here for you when you wake.”

“Fucking hate that nickname.” You grumble as you feel sleep pulling you under.

“Sure you do, Princesa, now, sleep.” Dieter chuckles as you feel his breathing deepen under you, his heartrate already slowing.

“Night Dieter.” You breathe as you submit to the darkness, eager to face the light of day and what would come with it.

“Night,” He breathes your name into your hair and you smile, loving the way it falls off his tongue with ease.

I hope you enjoyed this! Reblogs/comments/likes are SO appreciated so please do the thing if you think I deserved it!

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makethiscanon · 1 year

Text

The Bathhouse: Baji x Fem!Reader x Kazutora [Part 2]

Word Count: 3.6k Rating: Mature (16+) Chapter Tags: Domestic fluff with a stranger(?), acts of service, crude pet-names, slow-burn, strangers/enemies to lovers, canon-divergent [Bloody Halloween didn’t happen], aged-up/future setting, Baji being Baji. Warnings: Nudity [non-smut], vulgar language, crude humour.

Please be aware this is a mature story with some suggestive themes because of the setting, but there is no smut.

Read Part 1: [HERE]

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“M-mnh…?”

You woke sometime later, feeling dazed and disorientated. You were indoors. You didn’t know where you were at first – it was a room bathed in nothing but moonlight – but when you spotted a mark on the ceiling that you recognised, you realised you were lying on the canteen table in the staffroom.

Your mind worked slowly, putting two and two together, jarring itself as it attempted to recreate the path that had led you here. Your throat was dry. Your eyes were sore. Your hair felt matted and messy. Then you heard a noise, like glasses clinking together, and it pulled your attention.

Then you saw the missing piece of the puzzle.

The guy from the patio was on the other side of the room, searching through the staff cupboards in nothing but a pair of ugly harem-pants that you knew all too well from the Lost and Found box.

“What are you doing?” You asked, then coughed to clear your croaky voice. You were too weak to sit up, so had no other option but to watch him rummaging through your co-workers belongings like a feral animal. But your words caught his attention. He stopped what he was up to.

Without acknowledging you, he wandered over to the fridge then retrieved something from it, before coming to stand beside you. He had your bottle of milk. He hovered it over you. You reached out, but he pulled it back, telling you,

“Say it with me and you can have the drink: I’m a fucking idiot.”

He looked at you expectantly. You frowned.

That wasn’t enough of a response to make him change his mind.

“I’m… a fucking idiot.” You grumbled, willing to swallow any scraps left of your pride if it meant he would hand over the bottle.

“Yes, you fucking are,” he agreed.

You frowned harder as you tried to sit up but struggled, then felt his hand slip beneath your back to help when you tried again. Once you were upright, he kept the hand there for support then handed over the drink.

“Thank you,” you said before downing the contents, and now that you realised he had no intention of harming you, you meant it. Whoever he was, he was going out of his way to look out for you. Although he had invaded the bathhouse with his horrifying gang mates, you supposed after this you could call it even.

As you lifted your arm to pour the last of the milk into your mouth, you felt something slip from around your middle. The guy grunted agitatedly.

“I swear to god, if I see your tits one more time tonight…”

You choked on your drink, realising that the thing around your middle was a towel that had just slipped off you. Equally as alarming, you noticed that the guy didn’t miss a beat before hoisting it back around you before tucking it in to stop it dropping again.

You coughed and spluttered, not sure which was worse: the sudden realisation that he had seen you very, very naked after rescuing you from the baths, or that he was completely unfazed by your chest. You knew now wasn’t the time, nor should you care, but you wanted to know if your boobs were too small for his liking, as a matter of pride.

But you let it drop. He was, once again, helping you.

“Thank you,” you said, feeling flustered and aware that you couldn’t hide your reddened face even in this darkness. “I’ll stop causing problems for you now. You’re welcome to go. Thank you again for rescuing me, but I can look after myself from here.”

You might have been convincing were it not for the flapping in your voice that said you were only pushing him away out of embarrassment.

He shrugged, backing off with a nonchalant look on his face. It was a far cry from the anger you had seen before.

“Alright, Tits. I’m sticking around for my friend to show up, but you do your thing. Don’t let me stop you.”

He gestured to the door. Your embarrassment faded when you realised you were the only one making a big deal of it, then frowned instead. Talk about making himself at home.

“Don’t call me that.” You said as you shimmied yourself off the table. “And you can’t stay here. Go wait out front.”

He cocked an eyebrow.

“You always this ungrateful to your saviours?”

“Only the ones who save me from the messes they cause.”

He clicked his tongue.

“Touché.”

You passed him a smug look before hopping off the table, though your legs weren’t ready to take the weight. With an ungraceful crash you hit the deck then wondered why a certain someone had simply watched the spectacle with his arms crossed.

“Don’t look at me like that, missus. You said you could look after yourself. Or are you going to stop being a prideful bitch now and accept my help?”

You pouted. In the darkness, you almost thought you saw him smile. He offered you his hand. You looked at it. There were calluses and scars etched into his skin. He was a danger different from anyone you had met.

But he was offering you his help so you took it.

In one swift movement, he pulled you up and into his chest to stop you wobbling anywhere, then wrapped an arm across your shoulders to hold you still. You squeaked. He was so unbelievably warm, like his body could induce another bout of hyperthermia on you, but you did not try to pull away. There was something oddly delightful about pressing against him, something you couldn’t quite explain. He was dangerous and unknown, yet in his strong embrace as he took your weight, you felt protected.

“Now what?” He asked gruffly, and his breath fanned across your skin. You held in a shiver. He was so close. You couldn’t think. You tried to construct a plan to distract yourself:

As far as the rest of the night went, you needed to rinse off, get back into your normal clothes, clean up whatever mess the thugs had made of the men’s changing rooms, then get yourself home. And never speak of this again.

“Fine. Okay.” He grumbled. “Where were you going before you fell over?”

“The changing rooms.” The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Got it.”

His inability to be fazed by things that made you flustered was shocking. Shifting so that he had a tighter grip on you, he took a step forwards and expected you to keep up. But you didn’t move. “Y’know. You don’t need to be a constant pain in the ass when I’m trying to help. Do you want to go or not?”

“You can’t come in with me.” You tried to demand, though clung to his neck like a lifeline when you stepped forwards only for your legs to say no. He clicked his tongue.

“You can’t seriously be assed about me seeing your tits at this point, right? We’re past that. The sooner you get out of here the better, so stop being a baby. Come on.”

He said it casually enough, but you caught a hint of urgency in the way he tried to pull you along.

“You make it sound like I’m still in danger. I’m… safe? Right?”

You weren’t sure you wanted to know the answer.

“With me, yes. If anyone from Valhalla comes back, probably not. If Kazutora shows up, who the fuck knows. So move.”

In a flash, he had bent over and scooped you up in his arms, lifting you up like his bride. You squeaked and clung harder to his neck, not having to worry that the towel would slip when he was pressing you so close to his body that the garment was squashed flat into place. He was done waiting for you.

As he carried you through to the changing rooms, you took a moment to realise that everything was totally dark. The lights were set to automatically switch on whenever there was movement.

“Did you do something to the lights?” You asked, wondering if you would have to pay for any busted lightbulbs.

“Too fucking right I did.” He nudged his head towards the entrance-doors as you passed through the reception. “Didn’t want anyone else thinking this place is open. The door’s still unlocked so Kazutora can get in.”

You pursed your lips, thinking it would be much easier and safer just to lock the door and keep the lights on. You knew the bathhouse well enough, but the tiled floors were still wet. One misstep and both you and your new acquaintance could be on your backs, and it certainly wouldn’t be a soft landing.

That, and your acquaintance had just admitted you might not be totally safe if Kazutora returned. Locking him out sounded like a wonderful idea to you, and if not him, certainly any stray gang members who wanted another shot in the baths.

“So, umm…” you began, distracting yourself by looking at the defined line of the guy’s jaw and the fang that poked out over his under-bite. “Valhalla. That’s the name of your gang, right? Heaven for the strongest and bravest warriors. Does that mean you’ve been in many fights?”

He chuckled. The sound was deep and smooth, and it sent butterflies to your stomach.

“I live and breathe to fight.”

“Yup, I believe you.” You said, catching the twinkle in his eye as he thought of violence. He twisted his head to look at you, cocking a curious eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“I thought I was going to die when you called me out before. You’ve got this… big boss energy. I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side, let’s put it that way.”

He puffed out his chest.

“Then be glad I took pity on you. Not many people get to say they had Baji Keisuke looking out for them. Take it as an honour.”

You chuckled.

“Thank you, oh lord and saviour Baji.”

“Say that as many times as you want, Tits. Sounds good.”

You elected to ignore his pet-name, adding, to knock him down a peg, “though if anyone asks, I’m going to tell them the great Baji is a secret big ol’ softie who can’t say no to a damsel in distress.”

He clenched his jaw, side eyeing you.

“Oh, you think that’s a fucking insult? Maybe to Valhalla but I think that’s pretty cool. Say it all you want, bitch.”

He looked at you with a grin that dared you to bring it. You couldn’t help but laugh at his challenge to call him a nice guy. Perhaps he didn’t get that often, but if he thought kind guys were cool then he might actually be one himself. His niceness just happened to be heavily buried under a layer of aggression, violence and one heck of an intimidating first impression.

Baji took you into the women’s changing rooms but didn’t stop to put you down when you pointed at your locker. Instead, he carried you straight through to the washroom and set you down on the cold, stone tiles, then began untying the cord on his pants. Much to your protest.

“You can’t be serious?”

“What?”

You gestured to his still-loosening pants, shielding your eyes when you realised he had no intention of stopping.

“You can’t do that in here.”

“Hah? Oh, cute. You’ve never seen a dick before?” You could hear his amusement. You scowled. Whether you had or not was irrelevant. This night was taking some very peculiar turns.

“If you want to rinse off, go to the guys’ washroom.”

He tutted.

“Oh right, and then get accused of GBH because I left you unattended, you fell over, cracked your skull and went into a coma. Thanks but no.”

You dropped your hand just so you could land him with an expression that asked if he was an idiot.

“That’s some imagination you have.”

“Call it what you want. Now, tell me where you’ve stashed your cleaning crap and I’ll get it.”

He didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving you alone. You sighed. The sooner the two of you were out of here, the better. You both wanted the same thing so you decided to go along with it.

“Over there.” You said, pointing to a wooden bowl tucked in by one of the shower stations.

As he went to collect it, you shuffled across the tiles on your rear, deciding not to tempt fate by standing up, then hopped up onto the closest stool to rinse off. Normally you wouldn’t do this, as the bath waters were full of healthy and invigorating minerals, but considering how long you had been in the pool, you felt rather oversaturated with goodness and needed to wash it off. That, and you had clearly face-planted the water after falling unconscious. You hair needed a good rinse.

You began to peel the towel off your body, chanting in your head that you had no need to be nervous. Baji had already seen everything. He wasn’t bothered. You could wash faster if you were naked. Plus, you didn’t have to worry about drying a sodden towel afterwards.

You bit your lip as you threw the towel aside, then put your hands over your eyes to hide your embarrassment.

“I might have to name them at this point.” You heard Baji say as he came to stand beside you, sounding disinterested. You peaked past your fingers to see him holding a bottle of shampoo down towards you, and realised from where his eyes were looking that he was referring to your breasts.

“For someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about my chest, you can’t seem to stop talking about it.”

With a dark blush on your cheeks, you swiped the bottle from him then folded your arms and hunched over to cover yourself, which also kept you from staring at his naked form as he stood beside you. Certain things were at eye level.

“Who says I’m not interested?” He said it matter-of-factly, forcing you to bury your head in your knees as your whole head went hot with embarrassment.

In the time it took you to get over yourself, Baji reached past you for the shower-nozzle and turned on the stream of water. You popped your head up to see what he was doing.

“Get your own. That’s mine.” You grumbled, wondering if he was choosing to stick around purely to torment you.

Without so much as a warning, he turned the stream against your back. You yelped and lurched forwards, almost coming straight off the stool before Baji clamped a hand on your waist to stop you falling. Your brain stopped dead and your survival instinct took over, yanking his hand off you just as he redirected the shower-head onto your hair.

“Sit still.” He growled, as if you were the one in the wrong here. Your hand was still clamped around his much larger one, holding it away from your body so he could not touch you inappropriately.

“You’re being too touchy-feely.”

“Am I fuck. I’m being careful.” He said indignantly, swiping his hand away from you so he could replace it onto your head to rub the water through your hair. You wanted to tell him you could do all of this yourself and he needed to back off, but he started scrubbing, and it was all you could do to hold your head still so you didn’t get dizzy.

“Be gentle.” You whined, once more feeling like a child with a strict parent as he ignored your complaints and continued to wash your hair. It was a relief when he finally stopped.

“Here.” He said, handing you the shower-head. “Stay warm.”

He thrust the device into your hand with water still pouring from the head, then reached for the bottle of shampoo. Turning the stream onto yourself, you realised that arguing with Baji was pointless. He was stubborn, and since you couldn’t guarantee you could make it back into the changing rooms and into your clothes without tripping or collapsing by yourself, you begrudgingly handed yourself over to Baji’s rough hair washing.

“Fine, you win. Shampoo me.”

The words were barely out of your mouth before the cold, unmistakable goo dripped onto your head in great globules.

“Too much. That’s too much,” you hissed, feeling it trickling down your forehead and over the tops of your ears.

“Do you ever stop complaining?” Baji asked, tossing the bottle aside once the entire top of your head was covered in sweetly-scented gelatinous goo.

You braced yourself for another round of scrubbing, but surprisingly, when he touched your head this time around, now that he was using both hands, his fingers were gentle. He scooped the runaway shampoo from your forehead then lathered it atop your scalp, massaging your head until it was covered in a thick layer of bubbles, then did the same with the length of your hair. He stayed quiet the whole time, and having been thrust into such a weirdly intimate and calm moment yourself, you didn’t want to break the silence in case it invited ol’ scrubby-rough-hands back.

Once your hair was suitably covered in soap, Baji reached over you to take the shower-head. You bit your lip to hold in a squeak as his naked chest pressed against your back. Since he had no qualms rubbing up against a complete stranger, you didn’t want to give him any more reasons to assume you were an inexperienced virgin, because the taunts were getting annoying.

Time passed by in silence.

You actually let yourself enjoy the feeling of Baji running his fingers over your scalp. You were sorely lacking in the intimacy- or even romance-department. You were in your twenties; if you had to get the experience from a bad-but-not-that-bad bad-guy yakuza member, then so be it. Beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Your eyes closed as his hand trailed down the back of your neck, his fingers dancing gently over your skin as he washed away the bubbles. You shivered whenever he touched your bare skin, his fingers slipping through the gaps in your hair.

But just as you got used to his inadvertent caresses, he stopped, and took the stream of warm water with him. You waited a second in case he planned to come back, but pushed the wet hair from your face and turned to look when he did not.

He was sat with his back to you. His head was bowed low with the shower head turned on himself while he washed his hair. The water droplets cascaded down his body, drawing your eyes to the muscles in his back when they used the crevice between his shoulder-blades like a valley. He had so many scars; his skin was a tapestry that told the struggles and triumphs of a lifetime. You could only wonder, as your gaze trailed over the contours of his back, if he could recall where each and every one came from. Some looked painful. Some seemed so old. But they were almost beautiful, like badges of honour.

“You done staring yet, Tits? You’re giving me fucking goosebumps.”

Baji side-eyed you as he dowsed his hair with water. It didn’t help when you realised your mouth was limp from gawking.

Perhaps it was in your delirious state from fainting, or perhaps it was a misguided attempt to change the subject, but you caught yourself asking too late,

“Want me to wash your hair for you?”

You cursed when Baji grinned, like he knew you hadn’t meant to say that, and when he told you to grab the shampoo bottle you almost wanted to die.

“I mean, I don’t have to—don’t feel obliged—”

“Calm down, Tits. It’s only hair. Stop acting like you asked to suck my dick.”

Heat soared to your face. You snatched the shampoo bottle, indignantly ignoring Baji’s cocky smirk -- like he was revelling in your embarrassment and finding any way to torment you – then dumped the contents onto his head before he was ready.

“Payback,” you said, but when it actually came to lathering the soap, you were gentle. And he didn’t resist. He sat patiently, straightening his back like one of those old samurai knights. You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling how soft it was even after matting in the outdoor bath. You almost told him so, but decided against it when it was sure to be met with more taunts.

You rinsed his hair next, feeling strangely relaxed in the quiet. Without Baji running his mouth, you could appreciate the moment. It was perhaps the closest thing to a sensual encounter you’d ever had. Okay, not all the circumstances were perfect, but it was certainly something you were going to remember in your late, spinster years.

“Done.” You said after a moment, backing off and taking the shower head with you. You sat down as quickly as you could, huddled your knees to your chest before Baji had time to turn around. But he noticed your recklessness.

Then he picked up your towel and handed it over.

“I swear to god, Tits. If you fall over again I’m leaving you there.”

For some reason, you couldn't help but smile.

You kept your gaze to the floor as Baji stood up and began drying off, wondering your chances should you try to reach for your towel, some ten feet away.

Better not risk it, you supposed.

But once Baji was dry, he slipped on those same, ugly harem pants from before then shut off the water.

“Let’s go.”

------

[Part 3]: Coming soon.

[WRITING MASTERLIST]

#Baji #Keisuke #x Reader #Tokyo Revengers #Tokyo Rev #fanfiction #bathhouse #recovery #comfort #fluff #x you #x yn

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oh-puffle-cakes19 · 2 years

Note

Could you maybe do one where the reader suffers from maybe a eating disorder or something and Tom always checks up on her calling to see if she’s eaten or to send a picture of it. He does this even when he’s away for filming but when he comes back he realises she lying and try’s to comfort her and getting her some food xx

Helping you, my love

Pairing - Tom Holland x Reader

Summary - You suffer with an Eating Disorder with Anxiety issues, it is hard to keep the right mind frame. However, Tom is always there to look after you.

Warnings - Angst (Eating disorder and Anxiety issues are mentioned) If you are uncomfortable, please do not read! It is up to you to read about these subjects.

A/N - Thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy! Love and appreciation to all the support I get from my content and blog. 🥰

- P.s Not everyone’s experience is going to be the same with ED.

You sigh as you look down at your dinner plate again, your supposed to eat it.

You struggle with your food intake, resulting in an unfortunate Eating Disorder. Tom, your boyfriend is so good at taking care of your needs, especially making sure your eating enough.

You fiddle with the rings on your fingers, not even daring to look at the food in-front of you. You feel a tad bit guilty of lying to Tom, saying that you are eating. In reality you are not!

You just didn’t want to worry him as he’s away because of his job, being an actor is hard enough. Your stomach grumbles as you take a little bit on your folk, not enough for a mouth full thou.

However, you smile to yourself of even making that because you just can’t bring yourself to eat that much or at all.

Your phone is ringing, looking at it you see Tom’s name.

“Hello, Darling. How are you?” Tom smiles into the phone, he took a small break in between takes. Sometimes even getting to call you, which he is grateful for.

“Hi Tommy, I’m good.” You look over at your dinner plate, fiddling with the fabric of your shirt, “Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m good baby. Have you been eating, sweetheart?” Tom asks so sweetly, you thought making your heart melt.

“Yes, actually I have,” putting on a really good lie, not crying on how guilty you are right now.

“Ok, good my love,” Tom reply’s back praising you, when you shouldn’t be praised at all.

“I miss you, I really want to come home. Hopefully tomorrow,” Tom grins at the other end, he nearly walks into a lamp post. He has the habit of talking while walking.

“Mm, I miss you too, Baby,” You giggle, hugging your pillow. Now on the sofa with one of Tom’s hoodies and your fluffy cover, “That would be great, Tommy. I can’t wait to see you again,”

“Yes, me neither! Love but unfortunately, for now I have to say goodbye, Love you and take care Princess,” You smile hearing his soft words through the phone, “Bye, Tommy love you too,” you hang up snuggling into the sofa falling asleep as you forget about the food.

Over the last month, Tom has been away from you. You love that Tom is working being an actor, following his dream. He is always checking up on you like that recent phone call, just now. Mostly to see if you need anything or have you been eating.

The next day, Tom opens the door early in the morning. Smiling at the peace and quiet, you must be asleep.

As Tom came through your bedroom door, popping his suitcase at the side. You snuggled back into the cover, only moving more when Tom came in the bed with you.

“Good morning, Darling,” Tom whispers, kissing your cheek. You stir nearly fluttering your eyes open, now turning towards him.

“Mm, Good morning,” You mumble, smiling into his chest as you recognise Tom’s voice.

“I’ve missed you,” Tom strokes his fingers through your hair strands.

“I’ve miss you too, Tommy,” You look at him. Tom cups your cheek pulling you into a kiss.

“How have you been, Sweetheart?” Tom cuddles you, breathing your scent through his nose.

“Actually good,” You replied, you forgot that you have not been eating good at all. Always missing meal times, staying in bed because you got no energy.

“Are you sure?” Tom questioned, “I looked in the kitchen..” he sighed, remembering that there was more than a week worth of food, still in the fridge.

You looked away from him, embarrassed at how you got caught. “Darling, I’m not mad at you! I just want to take care of you, you need to eat for your body to function,” Tom lifted your head up to look into your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” You whimper, the stress of eating getting to you. Especially, Tom being away. Even though, he has been very helpful when he is away.

“Sh, Sh, Darling. It’s ok, I’ll help you!” Tom comforts you as you let a few tears slip from your eyes, he pulls you into his chest more, “I’m not mad, even if you lied to me,” Tom kisses your forehead.

“Are you sure?” You pouted, looking up to him, “Sweetheart, I love you so much! If you struggle with anything at all, of course I’m going help and have patience with you! Even if it’s going to be a difficult journey,” Tom kisses you passionately, feeling the love and sweetness that you have both missed out on.

“I’m always going to be here, for you!” Tom smiles, rubbing your back and wiping your teary eyes.

“I love you too, Tommy,” You smile, “Thank you, your so sweet and patient with me,” You kissed him dearly, smiling into it.

“Always for you, Darling,” Tom whispers.

“How about some breakfast?” Tom asked, “I’ll make it for you and we can eat it together,” he suggested, hopeful that you will try to eat.

“Ok,” You smiled, “Your food is the best,” You giggle as you take Tom’s hand leading you out of bed.

“Of course, Darling,” Tom winked, cheekily. Tom wrapped a dressing gown over you so your not cold, “Thanks,” You giggled.

You make your way down to the kitchen, where Tom looks through the cupboards.

“What would you like? Beautiful,” Tom asks, “Pancakes,” You smile poking your tongue out, “Pancakes?” Tom teases, with his hands on your hips. He nozzles his nose into yours, “That tickles,” you giggle.

“Yes pancakes, haven’t had them in ages!” You kiss his cheek, “Good choice love, with strawberry’s? And Nutella,” Tom questioned.

You nodded, getting the milk out for Tom as he gets the flour and eggs.

You stand behind Tom wrapping your arms around him as he cooks for you both.

“Comfy, Darling,” Tom chuckles, feeling you behind his back, “Mm,”

Tom flips the pancakes in the pan, “You really good at that, wonder where you been practising?” You tease, thinking of him flipping you while in the bedroom.

“You Dirty girl,” Tom licks his lips, placing pancakes and the toppings onto plates for you and him. Catching your lips into a sweet kiss, “Breakfast has been served,” Tom whispers, kissing you again.

You and him bring your food upstairs to eat in your bedroom.

“You should really be eating it, but I’m not going to force you, Darling,” Tom worries, your sitting on your bedroom together looking down at the food.

“I’m going to eat it, don’t worry,” You take a deep breath, putting a mouth full in your mouth and actually swallowing it.

“Omg, that was terrifying,” You breathed out, “You did good, no rush Darling,” Tom strokes your head as he praised and encouraged you.

“I guess I did,” You smiled, “It is yummy,” You giggled. “Are not going to eat yours?” You pouted, “Yes, my love,” Tom smiles, taking a bite out of his pancakes.

You had an idea, giggling as you take pancake to his lips and fed him.

“You got chocolate on my nose,” Tom laughed, you give a cheeky grin as you licked his nose, “Lovely, Y/N,”

“I know, I’m so loving towards you,” You smirked, Kissing his cheek. Tom took a strawberry to your mouth, seeing if you will eat it or not.

“Are you going to eat? Darling,” Tom softly spoke, you nodded taking a bite out of the strawberry from his hand, “You did so well, baby! I’m so proud of you,” Tom gushed, kissing your forehead.

“It tastes better, when it’s your food, out of your hands..” You tease, smiling at him. You are grateful that you have a good, responsible man like Tom. He takes care of you, loves you and appreciates all the little things.

Especially, with your disorder it has been hard but Tom has been loving, caring and supportive through our.

“Oh, I definitely agree myself on that one,” Tom winked, “God, I’ve missed you so much! Darling,” he whispers, over you kissing your lips passionately that you don’t even have any words.

“You said that,” You giggle in between kisses, “I missed you so much too!”

“I know, baby but I can’t express enough that I’m always here for you. Through thick and thin, Darling!” Tom smiles cupping your cheek, caressing it with such care and softness that you will melt under his gaze.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” Tom breathes out, looking into your gorgeous eyes with his honey, warm brown ones, “You are doing amazing Darling,” he smiles kissing your lips gently.

“I love you so much too, Tommy,” You smile, taking all the words he just told you, “Thank you for always being there and I’m always here for you too!! Your so good to me,” You kiss his lips savouring the Devine taste that he gives you.

“I know you do, Darling,” Tom smiles taking your hands into his own, “You want another strawberry? My love,” kissing your cheek.

“Mm, I’m sorry I don’t really want it but I’ll try again later,” You pouted, Tom kisses your forehead, “That’s ok, don’t be sorry sweetheart! It’s not your fault. You did good, I’m not going to force you,” Tom sincerely, told you.

“Thanks, Tommy,” You smile, “Can we cuddle?”

“Of course, Baby,” Tom picked up the plates, “You get tucked in, while I put the plates in the dishwasher,”

You nodded, getting under the covers as Tom went downstairs. You soak into the fluffiness of Tom’s personal, special cover. You giggle as he always teasing you because you like to steal it.

“I see you got my cover, Darling,” Tom smiles, crawling into bed with you. You snuggle into his chest as he pulls the covers over you both.

“Yeah,” You giggle, “Don’t hide your face to act all innocent, sweetheart,” Tom goes under the cover with you, stroking your head.

You giggle more and tighten your hands around him, “Cuddle,” You say, “shh and cuddle,”

“Mm, ok,” Tom nozzles his curly head into your neck, “I could, fall asleep,” He smiles.

“Sleep then,” You smuggle into him if that’s even possible, “I’ll sleep with you,” You whisper, kissing your cheek.

“Love you, Darling,” Tom smiles kissing you.

“Mm, Love you too, Tommy!” You kiss him back, actually having a nap in each other’s arms.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fandom #tomhollandfan #tom holland fluff #tom holland x you #lovers #eating disoder recovery

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hellcheerficdatabase · 7 months

Text

How Not to Drown

Author: @wheremermaidsdwell

Rating/Warning: Explicit, referenced ED, child ab*se

Chapter Count: 19/19 (Part 1 of How Not to Drown series)

Description:

“You scared me. I'm glad you're-" Eddie switched sentences, "Are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah," Chrissy nodded, knowing it might be a lie. If she couldn't get things under control it could get worse. “I just have to be healthy."

After almost dying in Eddie Munson's trailer Chrissy decided something in her life had to change. If she was going to recover from her eating disorder before it killed her, then she needed to fix her life of enablers, and trashing her reputation seemed like the way to go.

If Eddie Munson and the Hellfire club was the fastest way to ruin her popularity, then all the better. Eddie helped her once, maybe he'd do it again.

Tags: Alternate Universe- no vecna, falling in love, recovery fic, angst, so much angst it hurts, Lux why did you recommending (kidding, it hurts so GOOD), angst with a happy ending, fluff, smut, Chrissy is recovering, Chrissy needs a hug, Eddie is a sweetie, strangers to friends to lovers, hurt and comfort, Chrissy POV, multiple chapters, part of a series, status: completed

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rizzoto-whump · 2 years

Text

@flufftober day 10 - Love Language, @fictober-event day 25 - “You know I’d do anything.”

Fandom: Outlast (Miles Upshur/Reader)

The nights after his return from Mount Massive Asylum, Miles would spend the majority of his sleep waking up, "I have a report to finish." He said, giving his partner a short kiss on the forehead. "You better get some sleep, I'll be fine, honey."

But that night, there was a knock on his door from outside. Miles narrowed his eyes.

“Miles."

Ah. "Babe? Hey!"

A plate of cookies and a glass of warm milk, both still steaming. "Hey, you don't have to bother."

His babe just smiled. They love to cook, and providing the best dishes is their love language. It wasn’t surprising that it only took Miles a short time to return to his original weight.

"You know, I'd do anything for you."

Miles smiled. The man got up from the chair to give them a peck on the lips. "Thank you very much, dear. Come back to sleep."

#outlast #fluff prompt #miles upshur #miles upshur x reader #fluffy #flufftober2022 #day 10 love language #fictober22 #You know I’d do anything.#fluffy prompt #hurt/comfort #writing prompt #writing event #caretaker #recovery

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warmblanketwhump · 2 years

Text

“I’m home! Sorry I was gone for so-“

They’re greeted with a sharp, indignant bark. As the caretaker tries to discern where the sound came from, a small dog bounds into the entry way with pattering feet. Whumpee’s not far behind, albeit limping and moving a bit slower.

“Sorry, sorry, I was gonna try and explain this better-“ they’re fumbling and out of breath, scooping the dog up off the floor, eyes wide and apologetic. The pup is a tiny, scruffy little thing, with curly tan fur and a furiously wagging tail. It eyes the caretaker suspiciously, before letting out another bark and curling back up against whumpee.

“Shhhh, hey. They’re one of the good guys.” Whumpee kisses it on the head, then meets caretaker’s questioning stare with apologetic eyes. Blissfully unaware of the proceedings, the small dog darts out a tiny pink tongue and begins licking whumpee’s chin.

Caretaker eyes the various piles of clutter and the overturned potted plant that definitely wasn’t there when they’d left, then back at whumpee. “You wanna…tell me what happened this afternoon?”

Whumpee swallows hard, fingers protectively resting on the pup’s head. “I….I found them. I was walking by the store - you know, like you told me, taking a walk around the block to get fresh air and do my stretches, and it just…came up to me. It was all dirty and skinny, and it didn’t look like anyone had been taking care of them….” Whumpee trails off, eyes darting down to their new friend. “And then they just followed me all the way home. So I gave them a bath and some food, and now…I guess they like me.”

Caretaker raises an eyebrow. “And the rest of the house?”

“I thought you were coming home later. I swear I’m gonna clean it up. We just got…carried away.” Whumpee swallows hard, eyes pleading. “I know there’s been so much going on, but I promise they won’t be any trouble.”

Caretaker’s about to object, to say that thar whumpee doesn’t need one more thing to take care of and be stressed out by right now.

But then they see the way whumpee tenderly holds it in their arms, the way that they stroke their fur like they’re scared they’re going to break them, and the way the little dog curls right into the whumpee and dozes off, safe and warm. More than that, they see a spark in whumpee’s eyes that hasn’t been there in a long while, one that’s been missing since everything happened.

So caretaker sighs, takes a deep breath, and asks one more question: “….what’s their name?”

A relieved smile breaks across whumpee’s face. “I was hoping you could help me pick one.”

#error 404: whump not found #only fluff #recovery #whump prompt #hey sometimes you just need utter cotton candy of a fic #so here you go

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therealcocoshady · 4 months

Note

Hi babe

Will we get a early release today ❤️

Hi love ❤️

Im afraid not… I’m working out of town today so I won’t be able to get to my computer before 10-11PM. I’m not *quite* done with the chapter yet 🙊

Send good vibes though, maybe it’ll help with a quick release 😉

#marshall mathers x you #eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers headcanons #recovery fanfiction

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spicerackofblorbos · 4 months

Text

Chapter 7: May

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Author's note ➼ Hi guys! Are y'all ready for the final chapter?! June is the reason why I pushed through so many months because [redacted]. I know you're just as excited as I am. I hope you enjoy this chapter though! I know it took me a while, but I think I'm quite happy with how it turned out. Happy Birthday, Mama Kuchel! <3

☾ Word Count ➼ ~9.8k

You wake up to a pounding on your bedroom door, your eyes popping open at the sudden fright. It takes a moment to reorient yourself as you realize you are in your bedroom and not, in fact, on a date with Levi.

You take note of the early morning sun filtering in through your sheer curtains as you blink away sleep, acutely aware of the memories of your dream already starting to fade. An ounce of annoyance starts seeping its way into your brain from the rude awakening when you hear Hange’s muffled voice come from the other side of your door.

“Gooooood mooorrrrning birthday girl!! I’m coming in!” They shout as they push open your door. You fold your pillow over your ear to muffle Hange’s shouting as they come in. Your wide-eyed sister stops mid-step and frowns down at the sight of you. There’s a small tray in her hands, the contents hidden from where you currently lie.

“What are you still doing in bed?” You release the pillow to free your hand.

‘What do you mean? I’m sleeping.’ It was your turn to frown back.

“Levi is on his way to come get you. You should be getting ready.” They wiggle an eyebrow at you but you’re too shellshocked to even care. You sit straight up like a meerkat, wide eyes aimed right at Hange’s amused smirk.

‘Levi? Why?’

“He’s keeping you busy for me today so I can prepare for your birthday party. So, eat,” they set down the tray that has a simple breakfast staring up at you, “get dressed, and get out. He’ll be here soon.” They poke your nose before turning around and disappearing through the doorway, leaving your door wide open.

Butterflies start flooding your stomach as you process what just transpired. Levi was on his way to you and you’re looking like… this. You’re looking like this. The realization dawns on you, suddenly hyper aware of your messy bed head and ruffled pajamas. Grabbing a piece of toast, you throw yourself out of bed and into your private bathroom to start the shower, simultaneously praying that today would be a good day.

Your original plan for this morning consisted of wearing pajamas and taking your time getting ready for whatever your sister planned for you that evening. Instead, you find yourself speeding through your shower ritual then throwing clothes everywhere in a vain attempt to find something to wear for the day as your hair dried.

Even with your hasty speed, it still takes you an hour and a half until you’re satisfied with yourself. You take one more glance over before huffing heavily and pulling open your door then stepping out into the hallway. Your heart skips a beat when you recognize a voice.

“Your tea is too watery. Let me help next time.” You hear something heavy being set down on the table, a mug you guess.

“I can’t have you do that. You’re my guest, Levi.”

“I’m not asking. If I’m drinking tea, it better be good. This isn’t fit for consumption.”

When you pause in the entryway, you see Hange and Levi sitting at the dining room table. They turn their heads in your direction at the same time, Hange with a wide smile and Levi with a furrowed brow. He’s wearing a dark green t-shirt tucked into his usual jeans with his black leather jacket draped over his shoulders. He stands up, his chair sliding back as he does.

“Took you long enough.” Levi retorts.

‘Sorry. I didn’t know you were coming until this morning.’

“Hange, you said you’d let her know last week.” Levi slides his attention over to your sister who is suddenly very concerned with the mug in front of her. He sighs then gathers his keys off the table before making his way over to the kitchen sink to place his own mug into it. “Let’s go.”

“Bring her back in one piece, will you?” Hange glances over at you and winks.

“Yeah, yeah. See you in a couple hours, shitty glasses.”

The car ride to who knows where stays relatively silent between the two of you. Soft rock plays through his speakers at a low enough volume allowing you to hear the car’s engine as well as the wind blowing outside as Levi zooms through the town.

You couldn’t contain your surprise to see Levi driving - Erwin’s car no less. In the six months that you had known him, you have never once seen him drive. He mentioned his aversion to being behind the wheel early on in those months, saying he’d only drive when he had to. You guess today is one of those days. You hope this, whatever this is, isn’t burdensome for him.

You turn to Levi, making sure he can see your hands then sign, ‘Where’s Erwin, anyways?’

“He got held up doing something.”

‘Is he okay?’

“He’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” The car turns down a main road that you aren’t familiar with. “Are you hungry?” Levi meets your gaze for a second before focusing back on the road. You think back to that singular bite of toast you had a mere couple of hours ago.

‘Yes.’ You give him a sheepish smile.

“Me too. Your sister offered to make me lunch while waiting for your ass, but I was not in the mood to be poisoned today. I know a place.” He mutters and silence blankets the two of you again. You glance out the window as Levi zooms down the street and you realize you’re in a part of town you’ve never been to before. Suddenly you can feel the car slowing down.

Levi pulls into a parking lot connected to a small park that consists of a playground and a few benches. There are a handful of people and kids out enjoying the warm weather today. Some children run around playing a game of tag while their parents, you assume, sit and chat away. A pang of nostalgia shoots through your whole body.

Once Levi shuts the car off, he glances over to you with his lips slightly parted as if he wants to say something, but nothing comes out. You raise an eyebrow at him expectantly, but he just pinches his lips together and unbuckles himself before pulling himself out the door. You do the same, furrowing your brow in confusion. This isn’t the first time he hesitated to tell you what was on his mind, but you sure wish the previous time had been the last time. You push the door open and step out into the fresh air.

Instantly, the smell of freshly mown grass strikes your nose. A smile tugs at your lips as you breathe in deep, savoring the scent. Levi comes up next to you as he tucks the keys away into his pants. A warm breeze blows through his hair, and it makes your heart dance. Levi is so pretty, you think to yourself.

“You okay?” You’re suddenly aware of your staring, and you force yourself to look away.

‘Yes. Just thinking about how nice today is.’ You give him a small smile.

“Yes, it is. Ready to eat?” He turns around and sweeps his arm in the direction of a small building on the edge of the parking lot. It’s blue and the outside looks almost like a farmhouse with a half wrapped wooden porch around it. Above the main entrance is a sign that reads ‘Kirschstein’s’ in black cursive font. If this is a restaurant, then it was as ‘mom and pop’ as it could get. Levi walks off with you right behind.

The moment you step through the front door, a pleasant chime rings through the whole restaurant. A couple customers occupy some small tables already, so it was relatively quiet save for the light music coming from the speakers in the ceiling. The aesthetic gives a very rustic and homey feel, heavily mirroring the outside. It’s quaint and simple and it makes you like it even more.

“SASHA! THE DOOR. PUT THAT FORK DOWN FIRST.” You hear an older woman yell from the back. A second later, a girl with reddish-brown hair pulled into a ponytail jumps through a door and over to the podium in the front. She has a couple of crumbs around her mouth which currently widens into a grin at you.

“Hi! Welcome to Kirschsteins! Just the two of you today?”

“Yes, please. Outside, if possible.” Levi speaks up, jerking his head to the side door. You follow his movement, and you see a cute little unfenced patio facing the park with small tables peppering around it.

“Yes, sir! Follow me.” With a flourish, she grabs two menus and starts over to the patio.

When you both settle in, you can’t help but wonder if this might be a date. He catches your eye only for you to swiftly look down at your menu, pretending to look at your options. He hasn’t said anything outright about it, and you suppose two friends can go out for lunch without it being considered a date, right? Your thoughts are going a million miles a minute that you barely hear Levi calling your name. When you look over the menu, you see Levi staring at you with a raised brow.

“What would you like to drink?” He glances over to the side. Following his gaze, your eyes fall on a tall, slender boy with freckles and kind brown eyes.

“Hi, I’m Marco! Can I get you something to drink?” He gives you a soft smile. You glance over to Levi and sign ‘water’.

“She says water and I’ll take a cup of hot black tea.” Marco nods and leaves the two of you alone. The sounds of laughing children and birdsong make their way into your ears.

“Where’d you go just now?” Levi asks, leaning back into his chair as he stares at you.

‘I don’t know, just thinking.’ You then look back down to your menu, attempting to find something to eat. You hear him hum in response but say nothing else. This wasn’t a date, it couldn’t be.

After a bit, you hear the patio door open, and you look up to see your waiter holding your water glass as well as a saucer supporting a dainty teacup. He sets them down gently and then pulls out a notepad from his apron.

“If you’re ready, I can take your order now.” he says, eyes shifting back and forth between the two of you. Levi glances over at you, ready for you to tell him your order. You still haven’t given the menu a close enough look, so you take a quick glance before panic-choosing.

‘Triple berry crepe, extra whipped cream.’ Levi nods in understanding then glances down to his own menu. If you didn’t know any better, you would think he chose the first thing his eyes landed on as well.

“She’ll take the triple berry crepe with extra whipped cream, and I’ll have the classic omurice, light ketchup please.” Levi hands Marco the menu and you do the same, smiling at the freckled boy. He nods and tucks his notepad back into his apron before grabbing the menus.

“Sounds great. Please let me know if there’s anything you need while waiting.” He bows and then he’s gone. You meet Levi’s eyes; they’re a light gray today, like storm clouds after a bout of rain.

You both sit in silence for a bit, unsure of what to say. Levi fiddles with his silverware and you pick at you fingernails, a habit you've been unsuccessfully trying to break. Picking up your hands, you start to sign but Levi starts talking at the same time.

"So, ho- Oh, sorry." He crosses a leg over his knee and stares over at you. “Go ahead."

'Go ahead.' You sign at the same time as his words. He smirks at your soft laugh.

"Just say it."

‘Your sign reading is better.’ You grab your water glass and take a tentative sip. The sides of the glass are already perspiring so after setting it down, you wipe your hand on your napkin, taking note that it most likely wasn’t just water that you were drying off.

“I would hope so, otherwise those classes have been a waste.” Levi mutters before taking a careful sip of his own drink, holding his teacup the way he does. There’s that knot in between his eyebrows again.

‘Classes?’ There’s a softness in his gaze.

“Yeah, I’m taking classes. I didn’t want to be the only one not knowing what you were saying.” He rolls his eyes and looks away again. Levi’s cheeks start flushing your favorite shade of pink.

What he said might sound like common sense, but to you it meant so much more. Levi wasn’t one to do things short term, meaning he wouldn’t throw his money away on something that he would deem temporary. By your own reasoning, Levi plans to be in your life for a while. And that makes your chest warm. You don’t know what to say to that. Luckily, you don’t need to think of what to say as Marco comes swinging out the door with your plates.

“Alright, I’ve got one triple berry crepe with extra whipped cream…” he trails off as he sets your plate down in front of you and continues, “and one omurice, light ketchup.” He places Levi’s down then stands up straight with his hands behind his back. “How does everything look?” Levi glances over to you and you give him a thumbs up of approval.

“Everything looks great. Can I get another tea?”

“Absolutely, I’ll be right out with that.” And then he’s gone again.

When you look down to your plate, your stomach starts rumbling even more. You are famished, consequences of your own doing of course. You’re quick to cut into the fresh berries and soft crepe, taking a huge bite. You can’t contain the squeal that comes out because it may have been the best tasting thing you’ve ever had.

You’ve lived in Jinae for almost a year and you can’t believe this is the first time you’ve heard of and been to this place. You hear Levi let out a breathy chuckle, and you glance up at him. He’s watching you in amusement, an actual smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Is it good?” You nod back enthusiastically, smiling back at him.

“Good. My mom and I used to frequent this place. Especially for her birthday.” He says softly as he tucks his napkin onto his lap as he speaks. There’s a wistful tone in his voice. You’re again lost for words. You can’t help but think how different this Levi is compared to the one you met so many months ago. And you liked this version of him. No, not version. This is him. And you really… really like him.

As always, a familiar silence befalls you both as you dig in. Levi’s tea comes out at some point but you’re too engrossed in your food to notice. There are a couple moments where he catches your eye and then looks away. You get this feeling like he wants to say something but won’t. You know better than to force it out of him though, so you opt to give him a soft smile in return before his eyes leave yours. Just as you’re about to finish, someone comes bursting out the patio door.

“Hey guys, sorry to startle you but my boyfriend got stuck doing something else so I’m here to drop off your check. No rush of course.” The voice belongs to a kid with ash-brown hair styled in an undercut. He’s in a white button up with an apron tied around him.

He sets a black checkbook down on the table and turns to leave. A singular checkbook. Your eyes meet Levi’s for a quick second and then you’re setting your fork down and reaching into your cross-body purse. You slam your card onto the table. Levi, of course, is faster.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Levi quips as he slides his card into the fold with deft fingers.

‘What are you doing? Put that back!’ You glare at him as you grab your card and push it towards the new waiter who had turned back to see what the commotion was about.

“You put it back! It’s your birthday, dumbass. I’m not about to make you pay for any of this.” Sticking your tongue out, you ignore Levi and flap your card out in front of the waiter.

The waiter looks over to you sympathetically before muttering, “He was faster ma’am. Also, not to be impolite or nosy but it is your birthday.” He grabs the checkbook with Levi’s card and runs back into the building. Your eyes land on Levi and he’s watching you with a smug grin. You cross your arms over your chest and stare back.

‘Were you planning to pay this whole time?’

“What if I was?”

‘Well, I wouldn’t have come.’ Levi rolls his eyes at that.

“Just shut up and let me treat you for your birthday.” You slump back in your chair, defeated but far from dejected. The same thought of ‘is this a date?’ keeps floating through your mind. He paid for it, but that doesn’t make it a date. It was just a kind gesture from one friend to another, that’s all.

‘Thank you, Levi. I appreciate it. But I’m paying for the next meal.’ You stick your tongue out again in feign defiance.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” He purses his lips but not a single bit of amusement leaves his eyes.

On the way back to the car, you glance over at the park. There are more kids out now, playing and swinging on the playground. You double take as you notice a snow-cone stand to the side of it with a small line, something that wasn’t there when you first arrived. You stop and turn to Levi, automatically catching his attention as you do.

‘Dessert?’ You point over to the stall with a wide grin.

“Sure. But we’re eating it out here.” He answers faster than you thought he would, so you fumble for a moment as Levi starts off in that direction. He wouldn’t tell you, but the reason why he would agree so quickly is because he would give anything to spend more time with you. He glances behind his shoulder, noticing you haven’t moved yet.

“Are you coming?” He shoves his hands in his jacket pockets and turns to you with concern. Your grin becomes wider, and you hop over so that you’re standing right next to him. You won’t understand the extent of it until later, but you would follow Levi to the ends of the earth if it meant being with him.

‘Yes, but I’m paying.’ And then you run off before Levi realizes what you said, his fast paced steps right on your heels a moment later.

Levi decides to roll the windows down as he drives off to the next location that he had in mind. You’re staring at Levi from the passenger seat, arm propped up against the door with the wind blowing through your hair. You’re lost in your thoughts as you burn into memory the curves of Levi’s side profile when his voice cuts into the silence.

“Is there something on my face?” He glances over at you with a side eye. Heat rises into your cheeks and you shake your head in response. You look back out of your open window at the trees flying by. Again, you find yourself in an unfamiliar part of town. It almost looks residential with a lot of the homes overgrown with ivy and weather damage that happened over time.

‘Where are we going?’

“Our second to last stop, there’s someone I want you to meet. Then we will head to our last errand before the final destination.” We. Our. It’s not the first time that he’s used those words, but it never fails to make you giddy.

Levi pulls into another small parking lot, but this time attached to a large beige building. Dozens of arched windows line up evenly throughout the whole structure. Big wide sliding doors under a large blue canopy nestles in the middle. The building itself is symmetrical, both sides sprawled out like the wings of a dove.

‘What is this place?’

“Welcome to Riverside Assisted Living.” Levi puts the car into park and looks over at you. There’s a glimmer of worry in his eyes, his eyebrows knitted yet again. He’s waiting for a response. You want to reach over and smooth out his face, but instead you offer him a soft smile.

‘Your mom?’ Never mind the anxiety of meeting someone so important to Levi, the fact that he even wanted you to meet her is enough to make you want to explode. Instead, you swallow all of that down. Whatever his intention, Levi is worried about what you think. You’re already unbuckling your seat belt and making your way out of the car before he even confirms it with a 'yes’. When you don’t hear Levi moving, you glance back at him over your shoulder.

‘Are you coming?’ Levi stares at you for a moment before following suit. Once everything is locked, you and Levi make your way over to the front doors. He stops and looks over at you once more. You offer him that same soft smile from a moment ago. You don’t know if it’s enough to reassure him, but you would keep trying anyway.

“Ah, Mr. Ackerman. Welcome back! Unfortunately, you just missed the cake.” One of the receptionists pipes up from behind his computer. His eyes land on you and a bright, toothy smile replaces his previous kind one. “Oh, you brought your girlfriend!” Levi inhales sharply and chokes a little.

“I’m sorry, uh. Friend. Just-“ Levi clears his throat. “Just friend.” You smile back at the receptionist and nod in agreement, but you’d be lying if his quick response didn’t hurt you a little.

“Oh, my apologies! I shouldn’t assume.” He chuckles a little and glances back and forth between the two of you before back down to his computer for a moment. “It seems Ms. Kuchel is enjoying the warm weather today. She’s having a good day today, as well.” He slides two visitor stickers on top of the counter in your direction, both with the name ‘Ackerman’ written on it.

Levi hands you yours before slapping his own on his chest. You stare down at it for a moment before doing the same. You assume that these are just to let the employees know who you were here to see, but something in you feels thrilled from wearing his last name on you.

“Great, thank you.” At that, Levi heads off down the hall. You sign a quick thank you to the kind receptionist and follow Levi before he disappears from view.

Riverside Assisted Living is designed to be very welcoming and warm. Light yellow paints the hallways you both walk down. Miscellaneous vintage paintings break up the monotony - one portrait of a goose in particular makes you double take. It might be a little outdated, but it is lovely nonetheless. Some part of you feels a sense of familiarity, as if you had been here before - or at least something like it.

Levi continues down another hall that ends with a large glass door. Already, you can spot a few people milling about on plush green grass. When Levi reaches the end of the hall, he pulls the door open and holds it with his body, waiting for you to pass through. When you brush past Levi, the scent of faint cologne and fresh laundry wafts with you. As soon as you’re out the door, your mouth practically drops in awe.

The space is a lot larger than you expected it to be. This courtyard is surrounded by the rest of the building on each side and down a slight hill lies the river that cuts through. It’s separated by a white picket fence, probably to keep patients from accidentally wandering too far. There aren’t very many of them out as you initially thought. The ones you can see appear to be enjoying the sunshine in different ways. Levi calls your name, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"This way." Following his voice, you see him down the hill a bit. Levi points over to a small flower garden sitting by the river. There’s only one person sitting on a bench overlooking it all, their back to you so all you can see is long black hair blowing in the breeze. Your heart squeezes in your chest but you’re not sure if it’s from excitement or… something else.

You catch up with Levi in no time, much to your dismay. As you both walk over to who you assume is his mom, you’re suddenly hyper aware of what you’re wearing. You can’t keep your hands from fidgeting at the fabric of your blouse. Suddenly, Levi’s hand is on your wrist, holding it in place with a gentle grip.

“Stop. She’s going to love you. She already does, even if she won’t remember.” He whispers over to you, his eyes searching into yours earnestly. It takes a few deep breaths, but finally you nod back to him. The corners of his mouth twitch as he lets go of you. He gives you another long look before glancing back over to his mom.

“Stay here for a moment.” He makes his way over to the bench before stopping short on the unoccupied side.

“Kuchel?” Your eyes linger on Levi’s face, and you notice a subtle shift in his demeanor as he calls out for her. You see the woman in question turn and look over in his direction. You’re only given a glimpse of her side profile, but you’re able to see a semi-blank look on her face like she’s lost in thought. When her eyes focus, she just stares at Levi.

“Can I help you?” Her voice is soft and sweet, and it stirs something deep within you. It’s definitely familiar to you. Her expression goes from glassy to confused.

“Hi, I’m Levi. Can I sit with you?” Levi gestures to the empty side of the bench. Kuchel nods and watches as Levi lowers himself down before continuing on, “How are you today?”

“I’m okay today. The flowers are blooming very nicely.” She’s still looking at him wearily, but there’s a smile on her face now.

“They are. Which one is your favorite?” Levi’s voice has a gentleness to it that you never imagined was possible. There’s a matching smile on his lips now. Again, something you’ve never thought you’d see from him.

“It’s quite hard to choose. They’re all just so lovely.” She chuckles quietly and looks back over at the flowers dancing in the gentle wind.

“They are. I heard today is your birthday, is it okay to give you something?” Her birthday? In the recesses of your mind, a memory triggers. You’re at home and sharing a dessert that Kuchel had bought for the two of you as a gift, Levi and your brother both horsing around in the background. She says something to you and then together, you both blow out the single candle sticking out on top. That’s right, you and his mom share a birthday. It must have been a day that Levi’s dad was out, thankfully. Knowing what you know now, it warms your heart to know she was so kind to you when she didn’t have to be. Sharing not only her special day, but her dessert that she probably spent a good chunk of her paycheck on to afford it.

“Oh is it?” Kuchel looks back over to Levi with suspicion. She shifts on the bench and clasps her hands together on her lap. “Sure.”

Levi pulls out a little box he had tucked into his jeans and places it down in the space between them on the bench. She reaches over and takes it with shaky hands. You can’t see what it is from your angle, but it must have been nice. Kuchel reaches over and touches Levi’s face and gives his cheek a gentle squeeze.

“You are such a sweet boy. Thank you, it’s beautiful.” She lets go of Levi to put it back in the box and closes it.

“Speaking of, I’d like you to meet someone if that’s okay? I don’t want to overwhelm you if you’re not ready, though.” She just nods in response. With that, Levi glances over at you and beckons you over with a small wave. Taking a deep breath, you straighten up and walk over to Levi’s side of the bench. Kuchel’s eyes snap over to you.

“Kuchel, this is my good friend-“ She cuts Levi off with your name and it startles you both. You glance down at Levi nervously, not sure what to do. He looks over to his mom and raises an eyebrow.

“Ma?”

“Oh goodness me. You just remind me of someone I knew a long time ago.” Kuchel chuckles again and then looks over at Levi. There’s a clarity in her expression that wasn’t there before. “Oh is that my little Levi??” The smile on her face is infectious and you would have caught it if you weren’t so shocked.

“Hey Ma, it’s me.” He reaches over and grabs her hands in his. “You’re not wrong, this is her.” Levi looks over to you.

“There’s no way, look how grown she is!” Kuchel suddenly stands up and stares at you with disbelief. You wave at her sheepishly, still not certain of what to do.

“Yes, it’s been quite a while since you’ve last seen her. It’s her birthday today too, do you remember sharing it with her?” Levi asks gently. Kuchel steps over to you until she’s face to face with you. Levi must have gotten his height from her because she stands a couple inches below you. She stares up at your face, inspecting it. Being this close grants you a better look at her features so you study her just the same. Levi is practically a carbon copy of his mom. Everything down to the pouty bottom lip is Levi’s. She whispers your name, familiarity finally coming to her. Before you know it, she’s pulling you into a bear hug.

You’re so startled that it takes you a moment, but you eventually reciprocate it just as tightly. Something in you frays. This felt so warm, so comforting. So motherlike. Only when you pull away sniffling do you realize you’ve started crying. Kuchel reaches up and wipes your tears with a thumb, completely vexed by your actions.

“Why are you crying, darling?”

‘I’m sorry.’ Kuchel watches you sign curiously and then looks over to Levi.

“She’s mute, but she can hear you. She apologizes.” Levi pipes up behind you.

“Oh, honey, look at you! You’ve grown up so much. Happy birthday sweetheart.” She steps back to get a better look at you. “Oh my, you’re not a little girl anymore, are you? Are you taking care of yourself?” She grabs you by the shoulders and stares into your misty eyes as she continues to fuss over you. Her words affect you so much that tears start rolling down your face.

‘Can I hug you again?’ Levi translates for you. Kuchel nods and gives you a big smile before pulling you into another suffocating hug.

The rest of the visit felt like a blur. After your initial meeting, you had stepped back to let Levi visit with his mom. The three of you sat by the garden enjoying the breeze and each other’s company. At one point, Levi’s pinky makes its way to yours in the middle of conversation and he squeezes it gently before letting go like nothing happened. It ended with more big hugs and dragged-out goodbyes. You wouldn’t have minded staying a little longer, but Levi reminded you that you both had somewhere to be soon.

You find yourself staring out the window at the trees blurring green. It’s around early evening by this time, and you fight a yawn threatening to make its way out. The ride itself is silent, not even the radio is playing. Levi breaks it with a gentle voice.

“Are you okay?” You turn over to Levi and nod, offering a smile.

‘Yeah, just need a moment.’ He doesn’t respond, which leaves you both in silence again. You fidget with your seatbelt as you stew on what you really wanted to ask.

“It’s okay to ask.” Levi gives you a quick side-eye.

‘Does your mom have dementia?’ You spell it out in case he wouldn’t recognize the word. A moment passes before Levi speaks again.

“Yes. It’s been progressing quickly.”

‘Is this why she was in the hospital back in March?’

“Yeah, but it wasn’t this bad. Back in December is when she started showing symptoms of it. It took some time to get some answers.” Levi slows down for a red light. He fully turns his head to look over at you. There’s an evident darkness not only in his eyes but under them as well. You wonder if he’s gotten any sleep lately.

‘She’s just as lovely as I think I remember. I forgot we share a birthday.’ You think back to that memory from earlier. ’She is quite a wonderful person, isn’t she?’ Levi watches you carefully. He’s not just tired, there’s a level of exhaustion there that you just now notice. It takes everything in you to not fling yourself over to him and hold him. Thank goodness for the seatbelt.

“She really is.” He mumbles softly and looks back to the road. The light turns green, and the car starts rolling again.

‘Can I ask why the assisted living place and not with you?’ Levi grips the steering wheel tightly and purses his lips. You’re afraid you might have pushed too hard, but he just sighs.

“It was her request. She didn’t want to burden me with her illness, even though I told her many times it didn’t matter to me. It’s what she wanted.” Levi mutters.

‘You’re a good son. She really loves you.’ He chuckles at that.

“So she says.”

‘Does it hurt to talk about her? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.’ Levi’s face falls a bit. Your heart breaks for him.

“No, no it’s not that. I just- I don’t talk about her much, so. This is different.”

‘Will you talk about her more then? If you’d like. I’d love to listen.’

And so, he does the entire car ride. Even after he made a quick stop at a bakery on the way, he continued without issue. At some point in his stories, he actually starts smiling. One that makes your heart flutter and soar. You twisted in the passenger seat with your head resting against the top of it, staring at Levi while he talks animatedly about the things he and his mom used to get up to. There’s a lightness in his eyes and you swear he briefly turned into that little boy you vaguely remember so long ago.

For once, you’re in a part of town that you recognize. This is Onyankopon’s neighborhood. All of the houses you pass are all cookie-cutter and are only told apart by the unique decorations that litter every lawn. It was clear you were going to his house, which piques your curiosity.

You’ve only been over for his occasional game nights, something he decided to do once he saw how successful Hange’s movie nights went. After a bit, Levi slows down in front of a familiar house, the street filled with multiple cars. Fortunately, the driveway is clear, and Levi ends up pulling up into it. Much to your surprise, your sister is standing out waiting, waving their hands up above their hands like they were flagging a plane.

“Damn shorty, took you long enough! We’ve been waiting forever!” Hange screeches the moment you both slide out of the vehicle. Levi grabs the bakery box from the back seat and rolls his eyes once he meets Hange’s gaze.

“You asked me to distract. So, I did.” He scoffs then heads through a gate connected to the backyard, disappearing from view.

‘What are you doing??’ You ask as Hange bounds over to you with a wide grin.

“Don’t worry about it. Turn around and close your eyes.” You cock an eyebrow at her in disbelief. “Trust me.” It was your turn to roll your eyes, but you do as you’re told. Suddenly, Hange’s warm hands are covering your eyes from behind. “And walk.”

You’re not sure if they did it on purpose but at one point you end up walking face first into the fence. They apologize through a fit of giggles and you attempt to kick at her from behind, missing of course. Eventually, Hange stops you. There are a myriad of noises coming from a lot of different places and you would be lying if you said you weren’t a little overwhelmed.

“Don’t open your eyes until I say, okay?” You nod and then feel Hange’s hands pull away. A couple beats and then you hear them shout, “Okay, now!” When you open your eyes, it takes a moment for them to adjust from the abrupt change in brightness. But when they do, you’re again for what feels like the millionth time today, at a loss for words.

Nanaba, Onyankopon, Furlan, Moblit, and Hange all have their arms wide open as they yell ‘SURPRISE!’. Miche and Erwin are off to the side, standing by a grill, and they’re both smiling as well. Levi is nowhere to be found. A hand goes to your mouth as you stare in bewilderment at the rest of the yard.

The entire backyard is strung up with fairy lights and multi-colored streamers. On the back fence, a large white screen is pinned up and in front of that on the grass are multiple bean bags and spread-out blankets. There’s a long table tucked into that corner with a popcorn maker and a ton of other snacks that you couldn’t make out from here. The other corner has a table filled with presents of various sizes and colors. In the center, there’s a large rectangular table all set with dishware, cutlery, and various covered platters. A cookout and movie night it seems like, and you couldn’t be more thrilled.

You jump excitedly and run to your friends, hugging each of them tightly. No amount of thank yous could cover the gratitude you felt for each of them.

“Man, it took you so long to get here! Did Levi hold you hostage?” Nanaba jokes. She has a beer in hand and she’s already pink in the face from it. She must be a couple drinks in, you guess. You shake your hand in a ‘maybe’ gesture at her and she just laughs.

“He didn’t wreck my car, did he?” Erwin laughs down at you as you run over. Miche ruffles your hair, and you smack him away with a grin. Both of them also have a beer can in hand, laid back in airy casual clothes. You turn to Erwin and shake your head in response only to raise an eyebrow at his apron. The words ‘Dedicate your heart to grilling’ in large red letters decorate the front.

“What do you think? It looks good, right?” Erwin tugs at it and wiggles his big brows at you then directs his attention back to the grill, flipping something you can’t see from this angle. It smells delicious.

“Did you and Levi have a good time out today?” Miche mutters down to you quietly, taking a swig from his can. Before you can respond, you’re startled by loud voice from behind.

“Ah yes, please do tell!” Your sister yells as they saunter over to your little group. They have a plastic tiara in their hands, sunshine glaring off every corner of it. Before you can protest, she slides it into your hair and slaps your hands down when you attempt to move it. Hange wraps an arm around your shoulders when she’s satisfied then bumps her head against yours gently as she says, “What did you and Levi do today?” Even Erwin’s eyes are on you as you shrink back from the sudden focus on you and Levi.

‘It was good. We got lunch together and then we went to visit his mom.’ Hange translates for Miche. Erwin, however, stares over at you with shock.

“He took you to visit his mom?”

‘Yeah, she’s quite lovely. We share a birthday.’ You get this feeling like Erwin didn’t know that. In their many years of friendship, he’s had to have met Kuchel at least once, right? He only hums in thought and continues on with his job.

“That sounds like a lovely time. I’m glad he took care of you.” Hange winks and pokes your cheek before letting go of you and turns you to face them. “Okay so here are the plans. We’re going to mingle, we’re going to eat, we’re going to open presents, and then we’re watching your favorite movie while we eat snacks and hang out. How does that sound?” You pull her into a tight hug in response and she laughs loudly.

“Sounds like a yes to me. Hey Erwin, how much longer?” Onyankopon joins in on your little huddle. You pull away from Hange and turn around to see where everyone else is. Moblit and Furlan are both messing with the projector and Nanaba is pulling another drink out of the cooler under the snack table. Levi is still nowhere to be found.

‘Excuse me.’ You sign quickly before slipping away towards the sliding glass doors that lead into Onyankpon’s house.

When you step in, it’s noticeably cooler. ‘Pon’s house is very much a bachelor pad, and you had said so the first time you came over. At least he has style, you think. At first, everything is quiet save for the snap of the door as you close it behind you. You stand there for a moment. Suddenly, your ears twitch at something metal being placed down on a counter in the kitchen. There you are.

When you round the corner, you spot Levi sitting at the island top with a mug in hand as he stares out the kitchen window. He seems lost in thought. His dark eyes trail over to you at your movement but says nothing.

‘Can I join you?’ He nods and jerks his head to the seat next to him.

“Bored already?” Levi says as you sit down. His voice is tired.

‘Not necessarily. I just didn’t want to celebrate without everyone there.’ He takes another sip and hunches forward on the counter onto his elbows.

‘Did you want to talk about it, Levi?’ He sets his mug down and puts his face in his propped-up hand, tilting his head so that he’s looking at you dead-on. Levi purses his lips.

“I just miss her.” He whispers over at you. You don’t resist it this time – you reach over and brush away some of the hair that fell into his eyes. He doesn’t jump at your touch anymore, you realize.

‘It must be difficult doing this alone. You don’t have to be.’ There’s a brief moment where you’re both staring at each other before Levi reaches over and lightly grips your wrist in his long fingers, tugging you closer. They’re cold, creating goosebumps that pop up all over your arms – or was it the proximity of Levi? You’re not certain of what might happen next, but you don’t resist. His lips part as if to say something but is interrupted by Furlan yelling from the hallway, the increase in volume signifying his quick approach. Levi has already let go and is focusing hard on his mug.

“Where are you both?! Dinner is ready!” Furlan rounds the corner and stops abruptly as his eyes land on you and Levi. He smirks and leans against the archway. “There you two are.”

“We’re coming, jeez. Calm down.” Levi grumbles next to you as he stands up. He walks over to the sink to rinse his mug out. When you glance back over to Furlan, he winks at you and leaves the way he came. Levi steps past you but you reach out and grab his wrist to keep him from leaving. He looks down at you and raises an eyebrow. You made him stop but you don’t even know what to say or do next.

“There’s no need to make them wait for the birthday girl any longer than they already have.” He mutters down to you. He moves his fingers so that they’re interlaced with yours and pulls you up from your chair with a gentle pull. He stares at you with his cloudy gray eyes before eventually saying, “We can talk more later.” And then he’s leading you through the house and back out the glass door.

Dinner was fun, as it always is with your group of friends. Despite the amount of energy you put into refusing, you were made to sit at the head of the table – with your plastic tiara no less. You ended up not really minding as much as you thought you would. This seat granted you the best spot to watch your friends mess around and chat. Levi wound up being put at the other end of the table, so you were able to catch his eye a couple times throughout. At some point, you had gotten so lost in thought about him that Hange had to throw a chip at you to break you out of it.

“Thinking about all the presents we got you?” Hange jokes once you focus on her face.

‘Just thinking about how ridiculous yours is going to be.’ You stick your tongue out at them.

“Oh, you're going to regret that. Clear the plates! IT’S TIME.” Your sister is practically vibrating in excitement. This isn’t different from her usual self, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t interested.

You were told to stay in your seat as everyone else cleaned off the table and set it up with the presents. Hange comes by and swipes what you suspect is hers and you assume she’s going to bring it to you to open it first, but instead she holds it in her arms.

“Yes, I know, I usually ask to go first. But not this time.” She grins wickedly. Forget interest, you’re now afraid. You reach for another package with caution, eyeballing your sister.

It’s small with simple gold wrapping. ‘Erwin’ is written in neat font on the top of it. You glance up at the gift-giver in question. He has chin in his hands as he stares over at you with hard focus. You hate to ruin the presentation, but you can’t help as your excitement wins out and you tear into it. A small box with a yellow polaroid camera stares back at you. You sit up straight and smile widely at Erwin as you sign a ‘thank you’ to him.

“You’re welcome! You know I got myself one too. They’re quite neat, don’t you think?” He says boisterously. His reaction makes you laugh as you set it aside to open the next one.

It went like this for the next half hour. You are gifted clothes and travel items, all summer themed. You know that it’s probably because Summer is right around the corner, but there’s a part of you that feels like these gifts were all coordinated. There’s a moment where you’re just side-eying Hange as they hold your gift hostage, but they just shrug their shoulders with a smug grin.

Finally, you’re down to the last one, and by process of elimination, you know it’s Levi’s. You catch his eye at the end of the table again. He’s leaning back in his chair as he stares over at you, a hint of amusement in his face. Levi’s gift is in the form of a small, blue envelope. You eye him curiously as you flip it open and pull the contents out. A folded slip of paper is the only thing that comes out of it. At first glance once you open it, you notice it’s a printed email from a place called Jinae Community Aquatic Center.

This email is to confirm your reserved spot for adult swimming lessons

Your first lesson is scheduled for Saturday, June 3rd at 10:00am.

Location: Pool B

Please bring appropriate swimming gear as well as your filled out forms attached to this email.

We look forward to seeing you then!

-JCAC

You stare over at Levi with bewilderment. Swimming lessons? You knew how to swim, kind of. But this was truly the most random gift out of them all.

‘What is this?’ Hange comes over to you and takes the paper to get a better look at it.

“Yeah, Levi, what is this? I thought we agreed you’d get her some floaties?” Hange whines as she stares over at him.

“Well, with the lessons, we’ll know she can swim for sure. Floaties not needed.” He shrugs and looks away disinterested.

Why would you need swimming lessons?

‘What is going on?’ You stare back up at your sister, puffing your cheeks out in slight annoyance.

“Okay okay, just open this last one. It’ll make sense then.” She places it in front of you on the table and steps back. You look back up at everyone else and they’re watching in anticipation. As usual, you rip it apart and under the wrapping is a clothing box. Pulling off the lid reveals an envelope on top of sheer stuffing paper. You go for the envelope first, pulling the flap open and revealing the contents.

Inside is another confirmation email, but this time from an international airline. You stand up from your seat quickly as you read the information on it, the chair clattering backwards behind you from the sudden shift in movement. This email confirms flights for four people, all set to take off early on the morning of June 20th. You’ve never heard of this town Liberio before, but you didn’t care. It was in a whole other country, and you were going in a month.

You jump up and down in excitement then tackle Hange with a hug before letting go and signing, ‘Who is all coming?’

“Take a guess, goofball.” She shifts her gaze to Erwin and Levi. “I tried roping in everyone else but apparently, they have ‘better’ things going on.” She stares at Onyankopon with a teasing glare.

“You just had to schedule it the same time I’m going back home to visit.” ‘Pon rolls his eyes.

“Hange didn’t even tell me until like a week ago. Besides, I’m kind of out of vacation days.” Furlan chirps in, rubbing the back on his neck awkwardly.

When you look over at Miche, he just shrugs and says, “Beach towns aren’t really my thing. Saves me some money.”

“Listen, I wanted to!! But,” Nanaba glances over to Miche and for a split second you pick up on a vibe you hadn’t before. You squint your eyes at Miche, but he just avoids your eyes, opting to take a drink of his beer instead. “Prior commitments, sorry.” She looks over at you apologetically.

‘It’s okay. This is perfect! We’re going to have so much fun!’ You fling your arms around Hange again and squeeze tight.

“There’s one more present from me. Pull it out.” That wicked gleam is back in her eyes.

You pull back the paper between pinched fingers like there’s a bomb under it. Something pink catches your eye. You touch it and it’s a soft fabric. Curiosity gets the best of you, and you pull it out all the way and regret it immediately. Dangling from a hanger is a two-piece baby pink bathing suit. A very exposed and suggestive one, at that. Across the way, you see Levi spitting out the drink he had just taken a sip of with his eyes bulging out of his face. Nanaba laughs and wolf whistles.

“Hange, c’mon. Really?” Erwin chastises Hange with a very bright pink face – it almost matches the suit.

“What? I think she’ll look really cute in it.” You place it gingerly back in the box and cover it up. Your face heats up from embarrassment. You cut your eyes over to your sister and make a face at her.

“What?! She will!!” With that, you quickly tuck the box away with your other gifts and grab Hange by the face with both hands to get their attention.

‘Thank you. But if you’re done embarrassing me, can we go watch a movie now?’ Hange laughs and grabs you by the arm before pulling you with her to the beanbags.

It takes a while for the late spring sun to start setting, but eventually you find yourself sitting in a cushy bean bag snuggled up with your sister picking at a shared bowl of popcorn. The final decision on the movie landed on you since ‘it’s your special day’. You honestly didn’t care so you clicked on the first thing that passed by – an action thriller. With cars racing and buildings exploding, it would at least be fun for everyone.

Moblit and Furlan’s set up was on par with a drive-in, possibly even better. They had somehow connected a surround sound system with noise-sensitive LED lights creating a very immersive experience. With every explosion, the lights would flash a matching orange mixed with a resounding boom. Unfortunately, even that couldn’t hold your attention as your mind wandered early on into the film.

For one, the news of the beach trip next month really threw you for a loop. Hange had explained the circumstances of how the trip came to be as you all waited for the sun to set enough.

Apparently, Erwin had this trip planned for a while as an anniversary vacation for him and Carly back before November happened. He brought it up to Hange because unfortunately a lot of it was non-refundable and he didn’t want it to go to waste. Erwin had initially offered to gift it to you and your sister as a surprise but Hange being Hange, they had talked Erwin into extending the trip and coming with.

From there, your mind wanders to Levi – as it tends to do with everything. You couldn’t believe that Erwin and Hange had successfully talked him into closing the shop for a week and a half so he could make it too. Even though you had only known Levi for a short time, you knew this was not his thing. The traveling, the summer heat, especially the crowds. And yet, he was willing to come. You have a sneaking suspicion as to why.

You feel a stare burning into the back of your head and when you look back to see who it’s from, you catch Levi watching you from a couple bean bags over. You raise your hand in a small wave and he does the same. There’s that knot in his eyebrows again and you wonder what he might be thinking about. Probably the same thing you are. Levi holds your gaze a little longer before he shifts in his seat and looks away.

There’s something going on between the two of you, you can’t deny that. And you think he knows that too. Part of you wonders why he’s taking so long to say anything but then again, so are you. But you don’t know how much longer you can hold yourself back anymore. If it wasn’t for the self-doubt clawing in your chest, you would go over to him and kiss him right now.

Levi doesn’t get home until around one in the morning, not like that bothered him much. He was accustomed to being up at weird hours. Fresh out of the shower, Levi runs a towel through his wet hair as he sits himself down at his desk chair. He settles into the soft cushion and leans back, closing his eyes for a moment.

That’s twice now that Levi almost kissed you.

Though, it would have been much more if he acted on his impulsive thoughts.

He rubs his eyes with the heels of his palm and groans. These feelings for you were starting to consume every part of him and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. It was coming to the point where if he doesn’t talk to you about it soon, he might combust. There’s no mistaking how you both just make sense together, as stupid as it sounds to him.

‘It must be difficult doing this alone. You don’t have to be.’

There’s always been a part of him that knows he doesn’t have to do it alone. Even after years of figuratively carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, he knew. But getting out of that mindset was not something he thought he had an option to do - until you. He’s never had someone offer to be there for him. Granted, he never lets anyone in like that in the first place. But as startling as it is, he was okay letting those walls down – if it’s for you. You were offering to take the weight of the sky with him so that he didn’t have to suffer alone.

Sitting up, his fingers move fast as he grabs his phone from the desk and clicks on your name. It rings once before the line clicks open. There’s silence of course, but your soft breathing is enough to ensure that you were there. A moment passes and his phone buzzes with a message.

‘Are you okay?’

“I just didn’t want to be alone.” Levi mutters. He hears something scratch on the other side and then another buzz.

‘I’ll be here as long as you need.’

You ended up falling asleep about half an hour later, but Levi didn’t mind. Your deep breathing from the other end calms him so much so that before he knows it, he wakes up in his chair to the early morning light filtering into his bedroom. The line is still on, and you’re still there.

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