#Skys blog recovery

[spicerackofblorbos]

Chapter 1: November

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, eventual smut (these update with every chapter)

☾ Author's note ➼ Hey guys! This is my first time writing fanfiction in a loooooong time, like the last time I wrote was probably in 2011. So with that said please be kind with any feedback or comments. I hope you enjoy! (also I made Hange's pronouns she/her/them/they)

Edit (11/27/2023): Hey guys, welcome to my little world of Unspoken Words. I have quite literally used this story as a way to better myself as a writer. As you read on, you may find that I've progressed (ofc I have a long way to go) but because of that, my first few chapters might be rough. With your patience, you may find a liking to this story as I know I've loved writing every word of it.

☾ word count ➼ ~7.1k

20-something years ago 

You’re not sure how, but you find yourself sitting in the back of a big, white van. Red and blue lights danced in your eyes, and it felt like a thousand people surrounded you. Something plastic is placed on your face then you are instructed to breathe in deeply. You thought it was funny to be told to breathe, like you don’t just do it naturally, but you follow instructions regardless. It’s hard though, every part of your body hurts, chest included. Every breath you take feels like your insides are on fire.  

‘Fire’, you think.  

Everything is on fire.

Present Day

Levi stood blank faced as he meticulously cleaned the blender station for what felt like the 100th time today. The late afternoon rush had just tapered down so he took advantage of the next to empty café to clean as much as he could before closing for the evening.  

“It’s 20 degrees outside, how are people still wanting frozen drinks.” he murmurs to himself, placing the blender back in its spot. Levi turns to the front counter and slings the towel he was using to dry things onto his shoulder.  

His best friend, roommate, and business partner could be seen restocking some books on tall shelves, a gentle smile lighting up his boyish features. It’s been about a year and a half since they started this business venture together and they had no idea at the time how successful their bookstore-café combo would be in this small town.  

Erwin’s thirst for knowledge kept their shelves as variable as ever while Levi’s love for perfecting the art of tea kept the drinks flowing. The problem, however, was Levi’s lack of people skills. He was seldom seen at the register, nor would you ever see him smile or talk to the customers. He often would leave you with a grunt and a swift turn after handing off the drinks.  

No, for that, they had hired a couple of local highschoolers to do the facing work.  

“Mr. Smith, Levi?” a soft voice rang out to the left of him. Levi shifted his attention to a taller girl with shoulder length raven hair standing next to him. Being as Mikasa is his cousin, they found early on how weird it was to be called ‘Mr. Ackerman’ as they shared the same surname. It was this connection too that got them to where they are today.  

“Would it be okay if Eren and I take off a little early tonight? We have some big tests coming up and we’d like to take some extra time to study.” Mikasa shifted her dark eyes to the darkening windows as the sun set just over the horizon. Pinks and oranges flooded the partially clouded skies.  

”Tch.” Levi could not help but roll his eyes. He raised a brow at her and leaned back against the counter behind him for support. “Sure, I guess,” he continues. “But do you really need it or is it for that blockhead?”  

As if summoned by his words, Eren comes up from behind Mikasa and wraps a red scarf around his girlfriend’s neck, both of their jackets hanging off one of his arms. Eren is a good kid, always on time and followed directions, but the amount of sass he held in his body was something else. Levi and Erwin did not mind though, as he added a certain energy in the café that the customers seemed to enjoy. The two men wouldn’t say it out loud, but they really appreciated having them both on the team.  

“Hey, I heard that. And yes, I need to study desperately. Econ is so hard and for what?!” Eren’s teal eyes widened for emphasis. To add to it he even put on a fake pout.  

“I-”  

“Just take the trash with you on the way out and you’re good to go.” Erwin piped up from behind a bookshelf.  

Mikasa nodded in acknowledgement towards the voice, a silent thank you. Like Levi, she was not one for many words. He once thought it was an Ackerman thing but then he thought back to his annoying uncle and changed his mind quickly.  

With that, she and Eren both untangled the aprons from their bodies, grabbed their belongings, and picked up the trash bags that were already taken out of the cans. They opted to leave through the back since the dumpsters were located that way. Again, Levi wouldn’t say it to anyone out loud, but he really did like those kids.  

Erwin could be heard stacking more books into the shelves which left Levi to polish the counters again. It was the last hour before they closed so it stayed quiet for the most part, only interrupted by the sounds of scuffling shoes and books being placed on hard surfaces. Light jazz filled the rest of the silence. Then the bell signifying new customers rang from the front.  

“Levi, can you grab that?”  

The raven-haired man just huffed in response then stepped over to the register. His eyes fell on two figures right in front of him. A frazzled brunette and... you.  

Due to the season, you are bundled up in a thick parka and knitted beanie. A big scarf wraps around your neck and face so that all Levi could see is your flushed cheeks and thick lashed eyes. Truthfully, you reminded him of a marshmallow.  

“What’ll it be?” he asks, deadpan. The brunette is the one to respond, the voice loud enough to make him wince.  

“Hmmm... well one English breakfast tea latte with lots of room for sugar aaaaand I’ll take a peppermint hot chocolate. Oh, and extra whip! We’ll drink it here.” She fished out a card with a dramatic thwip and handed it to Levi’s outstretched hand.  Their café is one of those where if you were to stay, they offered washable cup ware as to keep the prices down on disposable cups. Not to mention the lessened ‘environmental impact’ as Erwin would say.  

Levi glances at you before turning to make both orders. You give a small wave and smile a little, but he was already working quickly on the drinks. 

He went into autopilot as he steeped the tea and steamed the milk. He really appreciated customers that ordered anything outside of coffee, especially when it came to tea. It’s not that he hated coffee, though it’s not like he liked it either, but it just wasn’t his thing. Coffee offered a different kind of bitterness that he wasn’t very fond of. With extra whipped cream in one and extra space in the other, he whirled around to place the drinks on the counter.  

The one with glasses is the one that picks them up and they promptly walk in the direction of where you currently sit, one of the tables in the back corner by the window. You were stripped of your big parka and scarf, though the beanie stayed. Your eyes were wandering around the café in wonder, and Levi was pretty sure this had to be your first time here. But truthfully, he wouldn’t know, he didn’t make it his business to know his customers. That was Erwin’s and the kids’ job. 

“The shelves are full and I’m exhausted.” Erwin came around the counter with a couple of empty boxes in his arms, heading straight for the back to the dumpster. Levi stepped back and leaned against the counter once again, his own black tea that had steeped while making yours cradled in his fingertips. He kept looking at his only customers while he sipped the black liquid. The teacup almost slipped out of his grip as he saw you dumping a large amount of sugar into your cup.  

 There you sit, extremely focused on the cup in front of you and lips pressed together tightly, almost as if you were afraid you’d put in too much. The sight would have been funny if you hadn’t just ruined your entire tea, he thinks to himself. You smile to yourself in satisfaction and put the sugar jar back where it came from. While you stir the sweetener in gently, the brunette in front of you talks animatedly. Hands were flying everywhere, and Levi could practically feel the energy radiating from the corner of the room.  You were doing the same, silently laughing. 

Suddenly the front door flew open, the bell ringing loudly with it. Levi grits his teeth, steeling himself for yet another customer interaction. But his shoulders dropped in relief at the sight of only Carly, Erwin’s girlfriend. She saunters up to the counter with a big smile aimed towards Levi and without even asking she slid behind the bar. Erwin had already made it from the back and was in the process of putting away the leftover ingredients from the day. Carly wraps her arms around her boyfriend and plants a big kiss on his face, to which Levi quickly looks away. It wasn’t weird for her to come in right as they were about to close.  

What was weird, he thought, was the shock that flooded your face as you eyed the very public display of affection. Levi knit his brows in confusion as the brunette pivoted in her seat to see what you were staring at. Their face fell, any evidence of a good time completely erased.  

“Carly?”  

The person in question whipped around so fast at the voice and the panic that exuded from her was palpable. She quickly unwrapped herself from Erwin’s embrace.  

“Hange.”  

If it wasn’t for the jazz in the background, the lengthy silence that followed would have been deathly.  

Carly clears her throat and laughs awkwardly.  

“Uh, why are you here?”  

The person named Hange just lifts their hot chocolate cup awkwardly, not really saying anything. Their eyes shift between Carly and Erwin, clearly understanding what had happened.  

“I-I’m sorry, you guys know each other?” Erwin sounds cautious, like he already knew the answer. Of course, he would, he isn’t dumb. His piercing blue eyes survey the situation, going back and forth between the two.  

“Well, uh. I-” Carly stutters, clearly at a loss of what to say in the predicament she found herself in.  

“She’s my girlfriend.” Hange claims calmly.  

This admission makes Erwin sigh heavily, confirming what he had pieced together. Levi stared at him in bewilderment as the man just chuckled quietly.  

“Well. I suppose that’s it then.” And with that he turns on his heel and stalks off to the back room. 

“Wait, Erwin I can explain!” She follows right on his heels and disappears into the back room as well. A minute later you can hear hysterical crying and calm retorts reverberating from the back. If Levi could shrink into the cabinets to get out of this situation, he would. Instead, he focuses on the other party who were having a very quiet and rushed discussion. Well, a one-sided discussion, as he only heard one voice.  

Levi, realizing it was almost time to close anyways, rushes to close the distance between him and the front door. He really did not want to have to deal with other customers while the drama unfurled. So, he flips the door sign to ‘Closed’ and unplugs the ‘Open’ neon sign hanging in the window. A couple walks by about to open the door, probably out for a café date from the looks of it. But they were only met with a dead stare from the sharpest eyes they’d ever seen. With that, they briskly turned around and left down the sidewalk.  

Levi spins around and from here he gets a better look at the two trapped customers. You were moving your hands all over the place like you were earlier. But with an even closer look he realizes you weren’t just talking animatedly with your hands; you were talking with them. You were signing. 

You reacted to your partner’s conversation just fine, so it was clear you had some sort of hearing. Your scarf now hung loose around your shoulders, and it looked like you had tears brimming in your eyes. Levi swiftly walks back to the counter; this is obviously not a conversation he needed to be a part of.

“Hey, don’t worry about me. It’s only been a couple of months. Really, it’s better to find out now than 3 years from now.” They laughed without humor. You know when Hange was saving face for your sake, she was never as sly as she thought she was.  

‘You don’t need to be strong right now.’ You sign then reach your hand out to touch her cheek softly. Physical touch had become your second language early on, if only to emphasize. Fortunately, Hange was okay with that and often embraced it with open arms.  

“I know, my little strawberry. I just need some time to process everything.” They pat you on the head lightly with a small grin. You swat their hands, blushing at the nickname you were so graciously given so many years ago.  But you nod back, knowing they would not change their mind.  

The tall blonde glides through the back door, alone. His face was grim as he tugged loose the tie around his neck.  

“Hange, was it?” He started walking towards you and your very startled sister.  

“U-uh yeah. That’s my name! Listen I had no idea, I’m so sorry. I would have said something obviously but-”, they take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. What’s your name again?”  

“Erwin Smith. There is nothing to apologize for as I can only assume there’s only one blame to be given. I hate that we must meet under such a circumstance, but it is truly nice to meet you.” He raises a hand waiting for a handshake.  

Hange takes it after a second of processing, shaking the hand vigorously with both hands.  

“Well, unfortunately it is what it is. I’m sure Carly and I will be speaking soon. I’m assuming she’s not just hiding back there.” They flick their gaze to the back door he had just come through.  

“Ah well, yes. Long gone... how long were you two...?”  

“Only like, 3 months or so. You?” 

He flinched at that and murmured, “3 Years.” 

Thinking back to her comment not 10 minutes ago, Hange bit their cheek.  

“Oh man I’m so sorry.”  

“No, please. It’s alright. None of this is yours or my fault. We couldn’t have known, but now we do.” Erwin chuckled to himself. You wonder if he’s trying to save face the way your sister did. His gaze now shifts to you. He is a very handsome man. To your extreme surprise, he starts signing to you. 

‘I'm sorry, who might you be? I noticed you signing earlier. I know a little from the books I have read.’ His crystal blue eyes sparkle at you as he signs. You can’t help but break out into a huge grin. You sign your name back and compliment him on his raw signing form.  

‘I am of hearing, though. So please feel free to talk, and I will sign back.’ You clarify to Erwin, the smile not falling from your face.  

“That sounds like a plan. Levi, stop hiding behind the counter and come say hi.” Erwin calls out, not bothering to look over his shoulder. You hear a grunt in response and not 10 seconds later, the barista stands cross armed next Erwin. He nods a hello to each of you.  

You knew he was shorter than you, at least a couple inches, based off the interaction at the counter earlier. But seeing him side by side with his friend was almost comical. But as short stature as he was, it did not keep him from holding himself with such authority. It made you nervous.  

‘Thank you for the tea, it was very good.’ You sign, your sister translating in real time for you.  

“Tch, are you sure? I saw you dump enough sugar in it to make it syrup.” Levi retorts dryly.  

That makes you smile sheepishly. His fixated stare unnerved you a little, but you stare back regardless. Now that he was closer, a glass case no longer between the both of you, your eyes traveled along his face in close inspection. 

He’s beautiful, you think to yourself. His features are sharp and angled. Steely gray eyes pronounced a permanent exhausted look. It was a shade of gray you’ve never seen before, and they were mesmerizing. As if he could feel you staring holes in his face, he flicks his eyes to the side, clearly uncomfortable. But you can’t help it, because really the most intriguing thing about him was not his metallic eyes. It was the scars that marred his porcelain skin.  

A couple of scars ran down the right side of his face. The prominent of the two trailed from the top right of his forehead all the way down to his chin, cutting into his right eye and both lips. You’re pretty sure his eye was quite damaged due to the slight muted discoloration of the eye color.  

He’s beautiful, you repeat to yourself. You glance over to Hange, and they just look over at you with a knowing look. You know she was just begging to ask Levi too, but she just shakes her head. So, you fold your hands together and pinch your lips together.  

“Well!” Hange yells out, breaking the silence. “This human really needs a drink. Let’s all go! Erwin, I demand you let me treat you to a couple drinks!” She wraps an arm around your shoulders and laughs.  

“A drink sounds fantastic; I will gladly take you up on that offer. Let me just close up rea-” He’s cut off by Levi raising both of his hands up in protest. You notice the two missing fingers on his right hand. The pointer and middle were gone. Whatever this man went through, you just had to know. But you toss those questions onto an ever-growing pile and bite your cheek.  

“Erwin, I can close up. You go ahead.” Your sister just smiles widely and practically jumped up and down. The blonde man just clapped his hand Levi’s shoulder and smiled at him.  

“Thank you. You’ll join us after? The usual place?” Levi just shrugs his shoulders in response.  

Part of you hoped he would. You couldn’t place a singular reason why though.  

.

Fifteen minutes later, the three of you found yourselves in a well-lit and very crowded bar. Somehow Erwin had snagged a table near the back wall. Heavy rock blares loudly from a live band maybe 20 feet away. Overwhelming was an understatement, but you grit your teeth and sit down on one of the stools.  

“Whatcha want, my darlings?!” Hange yells over the music, slapping both hands down on the table and staring at the both of you.  

“Whiskey neat, whatever they offer is fine.”  

You sign the words ‘apple’ and ‘juice’ followed by a ‘thank you’. You’ve never been one for a drink. While it was tolerable to be around, you’d rather not have to taste it if you could help it.  

Looking around, you see all manners of people surrounding you. Something about it makes your stomach turn but you shift in your seat to quell it down. You’re sure it’s only so crowded because of the prospect of a Friday night and the promise of no plans the following day. The town of Jinae was not anything special, but it was quaint. You and your sister found out quickly it was a place where everyone knew mostly everyone. After only settling down here from your hometown 5 months ago, you were still learning of all the local spots.  

From the looks of it, this bar was one of those. “The Scouts” was an inviting place, decorated with dark greens and wood tones. The walls were littered with many frames of a lot of different people. You imagine it might have been local residents in various locations of the town. All of the wood was worn down, so it was clear this place has been in business for a while. A neon sign hangs above the stage where the live band played, something that resembled blue and white wings. It makes you wonder what the significance is.  

Your thoughts are disturbed as a glass is placed in front of you. Realizing the dryness in your throat, you pick up the glass and take a big swig of the amber liquid. You’re met with a burning sensation, and you gag. This alerts Hange of the unfortunate mistake.  

“Ah I’m sorry my little strawberry!! They do look quite similar though, don’t they?” They switch the glasses quickly and laugh. You notice the very noticeable cup size differences between the two and you stare at her quizzically. “I may have taken a shot while at the bar, sorry.” she adds on. It makes you shake your head, but you grab her hand reassuringly and chuckle.  

‘I’m sorry.’ You sign at Erwin, and he just smiles back.  

“Not a problem. But I have to ask, how was it?” A bushy eyebrow raises at you in amusement.  

You just stick your tongue out and make a gagging gesture at him. You laugh though, not really upset.  

Two apple juices in, the live band ends. Hange and Erwin are very deep in conversation, which you suspect might be about Carly. You can’t really hear what’s being said though. With the absence of music, chatter quickly fills the air. Honestly it was really starting to get to you. So, after tapping on the pair’s shoulders and signing where you were going, you find yourself leaning over the guard rail just outside the bar’s door.  

The sun was already far gone. A crescent moon sits high in the sky and a smatter of stars surrounds it. The cold air felt very welcome on your very flushed face. You exhale a big sigh, which garners a puff of steam. It makes you laugh so you do it again. Then you start to wonder how long you might be able to last out here before getting frostbite when suddenly a body starts leaning against the rail next to you.  

With a start, you whip your head to face the newcomer. Instantly you relax at the sight of Erwin’s friend. He was adorned in a big peacoat and his casual slacks. A tan turtleneck sweater peaks out from the jacket’s collar. His face was flushed as well, no doubt from the cold.  

Levi. 

He wasn’t paying you any mind though, instead his gaze laid upon the sky above, at the stars. You wave at him anyways and offer a small smile. He glances at you with a side eye and returns a curt nod.  

Not one for words. 

So, you both stand there in silence, staring up at the twinkling lights above. It wasn’t uncomfortable in the slightest. Something about his presence radiated a sort of calm, and you were happy to bask in it.  

After a few minutes, he shifts his weight in your direction, so you face him. He’s staring up at you and it makes you swallow hard. His eyes glowed silver from the moonlight. Truly you have never been this fascinated with a person until now.  

“You like the stars.” It wasn’t a question, more like a statement.  

You nod in agreement, smiling to emphasize your love for them. He purses his lips at that. It seemed as if he wanted to say something else to that, but nothing came out. It just makes you frown a bit. You just have more questions that keep piling up. Everything about him just emanated mystery and it made you want to know all about him.  

‘Are you okay?’ You sign to him, exaggerating your frown to show your concern. You’re only met with a look of confusion. You forget that he does not know much if any sign. And you kick yourself for leaving your communication tools at home. To be fair though, this is not where you expected to be tonight.  

You then get an idea to use your phone to type to him but before you even reach into your pocket, you’re interrupted by a sudden blast of warm air as a couple stumbles out of the bar, both in a giggling fit as they cling to each other. They take off down the road, laughing even harder. The brief warm air makes you shiver, reminding you of the cold outside.  

As if thinking the same thing, Levi catches the door before it closes and holds it open for the both of you. You’re suddenly well aware of the very loud singing happening from within and your eyes widen at the familiarity of one of the voices. You and Levi make your way to the voices and are greeted with the sight of Erwin and Hange duetting a Backstreet Boys song.  

What a sight it was. The tall brunette, face flushed and glasses askew, had their arm around Erwin. He his blonde hair was quite tousled, and he looked like he was having the time of his life. They both swayed together as they belted out the lyrics. As if their smiles were contagious, you felt yourself grin. It was kind of cute. So, you pull out your phone and snap a quick picture, sure to show Hange in the morning. It was a good thing too, because the song ends right as you put your phone away in your bag. Levi clicks his tongue and huffs. You glance over at the noise and notice a small upturn to the corner of his scarred mouth. Noticing your gaze, his face vacates itself from any emotion as he stares back ahead.  

“Oi! Eyebrows!” He calls out to his friend. Levi starts making his way to the stage, walking with a slight limp. Yet another question to add onto the pile. “I’m gone for 45 minutes and you’re already singing.”  

“I’m fine! Just a couple drinks in.”  

You all make your way to the table you had laid claim to earlier. You survey the table and count at least 6 more glasses, not counting your two. It was hard to see who drank what.  

‘Are you okay?’ You sign to your sister, concern etched on your face. They just nod lazily and give a thumbs up with both hands. Levi is regarding you with a look of understanding, and it seems he realized that you had asked him outside.  Music starts playing over the speakers again, and people start making their way to the dance floor. Hange squeals and downs the rest of her drink quickly.  

“Erwin let’s go!” She grabs his arm, not waiting for a response. He gives a mock salute to the two of you and follows without question. Levi just clicks his tongue again and heads to the bar to get himself something. So, you plop yourself down on the stool and stare out into the room. Out of nervous habit you start fidgeting with the napkins in front of you. A moment later, Levi’s hobbling over with a tray of drinks. 

“I got the idiots some water, they look like they need it.” He places the glasses down with a thud, including one of his own housing some sort of caramel liquid. Then he’s sliding something over to you and you’re about to protest that you don’t drink but you realize it’s not a glass. It’s a notepad and pen.  

“If you need something, this might come in handy.” is all he says.  

You’re quick to show your appreciation with a bright smile. You also note to yourself that you could have very well have used your phone to communicate but you were not one to disregard someone’s thoughtfulness. It makes something bloom in your chest, warm and comforting.  

Your many years of not having a phone of course meant writing – a lot. Your handwriting evolved plenty with time so that meant it was extremely neat. It had to have been so that the reader would be able to read it without an issue. 

First you write your name, as you realize no one had really said it out loud while at the teashop. Following that you add ‘I think your shop is wonderful, and I really did enjoy the tea you made.’ You also want to jot down the questions from earlier that were still swimming in your mind, but you hold yourself back. You tell yourself maybe later, granted if there would even be a later.   

When angling the paper so he could see it, his eyes flit across the words quickly and you’re given a grunt in acknowledgement. Pulling back the notepad, you bite the inside of your cheek. While it wasn’t awkward being next to him, he sure made it hard to talk to. His cold demeanor gave you the feeling he wasn’t the type to talk about himself, especially with someone he just met. So, asking questions about him or his life was out the window. Likewise, he did not really seem interested in hearing your life story, not like you were planning to spill it anyways for fear of being met with disdain. You had plenty of experiences with that growing up.  

Tapping the pen against your chin, your eyes drift around the bar room. There a multitude of people lingering about, shouting over each other to be heard. A couple sits in a corner, whispering who knows what to each other. Both of their cheeks are flushed and eyes heavy with lust. A handful of people are on the dance floor grinding away, your sister and new friend sticking out like a sore thumb as they dance with reckless abandon. All of this gave you an idea, remembering something you’ve read before many moons ago. You start scrawling on the paper again.  

‘Are you a gambling man, Levi?’ 

You shift the pad back over to him and he glances down again after taking another sip of his spirit. He was holding his glass in a way you’d never seen before and honestly it was a little weird.  

“Tch, hardly. Why do you ask?” He looks hard at you as you scratch something else down.  

‘I propose a game to pass the time. Let’s make some bets about the random people in this room.’ 

He looks at you incredulously. You stand your ground, not averting your gaze even a little. When you don’t back down, he just scoffs and shakes his head at you.  

“I literally could not care less about these people,” he clicks his tongue. “But I suppose there’s not much else to do so I’ll bite.” Knocking back the rest of his drink, he moves around you to lean back against the wall so that he is facing the rest of the crowd. You shift so that you are doing the same. You don’t overlook the proximity to the shorter man, nor the fact that your arms are almost touching. You start to scribble once more.  

‘Winner gets to ask the loser one question.’ As his eyes fall on your words, he seems a little taken aback. Levi seems to think for a moment, like he’s weighing his pros and cons.  

“One non-personal question.” He amends. You both nod in agreement. So, your eyes travel around the room, looking for your first target. It falls on a group not so far away.  

‘I bet that gaggle of young girls over there are here for a bridal party.’

You point in the direction of the said group. Currently they were taking tequila shots, lime and all. All of them sparkled and were dressed up to the nines, save for the silly little hats adorning their heads. And they were having so much fun.  

“No way,” Levi scoffs, “That has to be a 21st birthday. They all look like babies.”  

Suddenly someone comes through a parting in the crowd with a tray of assorted colorful drinks garnished with cute little accessories. They all yell in excitement at the sight. One of the girls raises her glass and starts shouting.  

“To Estelle! May your married life be full of infinite love, happiness, and orgasms!” They all cheer and take big gulps of their drinks, followed by more giggling.  

Levi glances art you, his gray eyes dull in the dim bar light. An eyebrow lifts at you as well.  

“How did you know?” 

You do a sweeping gesture starting from one shoulder down to the opposite hip. He looks back over to the women and conveniently the soon-to-be-bride had faced your direction. She was indeed wearing a white sash sporting the word ‘BRIDE’ in bright pink letters. He huffs as he rolls his eyes, and you smirk at him in return. You press the pad over to him, already equipped with your question.  

Levi scoffs at your question. As promised, it wasn’t very personal. You figured ice breaker like questions were a good start. But his pause made you question if this was a good idea, you didn’t want to run him off or make him uncomfortable. Then he clicks his tongue, and his face softens ever so slightly.  

“My favorite hobby, huh? It would have to be cleaning.” He simply states. 

Cleaning?  

‘Like mopping, dusting, all that jazz?’  

“Yeah, it brings me peace. I like the control. Plus, I can't stand filthy things, people, or places. It’s repugnant.” He scrunches his nose at the last statement. A laugh bubbles up and you can’t help but let it loose. You’re shot with a glare and a sharp tone.  

“Funny?”  

You shake your head no and smile lightly while your hands move adeptly on the pad.  

‘Not funny, just amusing because it’s not something I would have expected. It’s different. If it makes you happy then it is an admirable hobby.’ 

Levi’s looking away from you now. If it wasn’t so dim, you would have seen there was a light dusting of pink color his cheeks and ears. He clears his throat and scans the room for his victim. His eyes land on the couple in the back corner whispering to each other. He notices their not-so-subtle hand movements as they felt each other up. Nodding in their direction, he looks back over to you, leaning close so you can hear.  

“I bet that couple will get up in the next 3 minutes and excuse themselves to somewhere private.” Your eyes travel in that direction, only to look away hastily at such an intimate scene. You’re not able to think of a counter-bet because honestly, you’re thinking the same thing. Your eyes settle back to his face, but he’s already looking back at the couple. If he noticed you staring, he didn’t say. Suddenly his face is filled with a satisfied look, only to be replaced quickly with a look of horror. You follow his gaze again, afraid of what you might see.

Fortunately, it’s nothing risqué, as you catch the tail end of the couple slipping into one of the public, unmarked restrooms. But the thought of their future actions was enough to gross you out. Looking back at Levi, you scrunch your face up in disgust. He nods in understanding.  

“This is why we don’t use public restrooms, especially in a bar.” He pinches the bridge of his nose with his good hand. “When I said somewhere private, I meant like a residence or something. Filthy animals, unbelievable. They better scrub that bathroom down. Maybe I should tell the bartender when they’re done. Maybe I should help clean.” 

His retorts crack you up, your shoulders bouncing from silent laughter. He just stares at you impassively as he runs his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face.  

“Well, it’s not like we should ruin their fun. Anyways I suppose I won. Let’s see... what’s your favorite color?” 

You part your lips, dumbfounded. This was never an easy question, as you found joy in a lot of different colors. You bite your lip and start writing, but after a couple minutes Levi rips the pad from your hands out of impatience.  

salmon 

turquoise? 

canary yellow! 

orange 

dark forest gre- 

He just looks at you in alarm.  

“Just pick one.” he scolds. 

You snatch the pad back and scribble down, ‘It’s not that simple!’  

“It is to me. White, easy.” You just stare right back at him, not believing what you just heard. Out of all the many shades and hues out there, this man decides the color white.  

‘Why?’ 

“It’s clean.” is the only response you get.  

It makes sense, you think. But seriously, this man was so weird. But like you said earlier, it was different and that made it refreshing to you. You start searching for your next bet.  

As if in a scene from a movie you’ve seen a dozen times came to life, your eyes snap to a lone woman sitting at the bar, nursing a drink and playing on her phone. A couple seats down, you spot a few men chatting. One of the men is staring hard at the very oblivious woman. You nudge Levi with your elbow, not unnoticing the slight flinch from your touch. You point to the scene, and he is quick to understand.  

“I bet when he walks over to her, she’ll get up and leave.” He says confidently.  

Trusting your instincts, you scrawl back quickly as you notice the man started making his way towards the woman. Sticking your tongue out at him, you angle the pad to him so he could see.  

‘Absolutely not. She’ll tell him off right away.’  

To both yours and his surprise, not one moment later she throws the rest of her drink contents onto the man’s head. She gathers her belongings, throws a wad of bills on to the bar, then stomps out of the establishment. The rejected man staggers back to his friends, and they applaud him for his supposed gall. This event left you both stunned. There’s a moment of pause where you and Levi just stare at each other before all hell breaks loose as he starts talking and you start scribbling furiously.  

“She walked away, I win.”  

‘She threw that drink on him, that’s practically telling him off. And that happened before any walking off.’  

“That hardly counts, no words were used.” He scoffs and folds his arms across his chest as he stares hard at you. You weren’t sure if the indignation was real or not, but it was evident in his face.   

‘Words are not always needed to convey intent.’ You shoot back at him, shifting your weight to tap your foot defiantly. You would know this of course.  

This makes Levi pause. He opens his mouth to say something but then Erwin and Hange came crashing into the little bubble you two had made. Suddenly the sounds of clinking glasses and mindless chatter came rushing in and you took a step back.  

“Um, I think Hange might have had a little too much tonight.” Erwin says, to which your attention is drawn to a very drunk Hange. They were a blubbering, sobbing mess. Whining about things that ranged from Carly to her work stress and everything in between. Your sister rarely got this drunk, but you imagine the events from earlier might have been her breaking point. This was a sign to get her home.  

You hastily round the table to wrap her arm around you and prop her up. Then after whipping a $20 out of your purse and throwing it on the table in front of the boys, you give them a grateful smile and sign to Erwin.  

‘Thank you both for tonight. She and I had a lot of fun. But I need to get her home before she gets worse.’ As if on cue, they let out a loud wail and start sobbing into your shoulder. You shift your body to hold them closer so that you don’t drop them. Erwin grabs your $20 and shoves it back in your purse before zipping it up. He had left you no time to protest as he places a large hand on your shoulder and stares intensely at you.  

“Please, let me take care of this. Tell them this was an exceptional time. And to please stop by the café again, we owe each a good, sober talk.” His bright blue eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled at you warmly. “It was a pleasure meeting you too. I hope you join Hange on the café visits as well. I think Levi has warmed up to you just nicely.” He wiggles an eyebrow at his friend. Levi just shoves him back and rolls his eyes.  

“Tch, fuck off. She’s alright, I guess.” He’s staring at you now, not as cold as before. “You owe me an answer next time we meet.”  

You purse your lips at him and shake your head in disagreement. 

‘I totally won that, don’t even think otherwise.’ You jot down lazily on the notepad still on the table. It wasn’t as neat, but you were propping up a whole human, you couldn’t help it.   

“Are you sure you’re safe to get home okay? We can he-” You cut Erwin off with a wave of the hand. Their spot of choice was actually very lucky, as you only live a few minutes away. And to be honest, you needed the cold air. So, you sign a quick goodbye to your new friends and make your way out. 

Walking down the snowy sidewalk, you pat Hange’s head as she grumbles about random things. She opted to walk herself, but you kept your hand in theirs to lead them in the right direction. She only stumbled a few times but overall, you were able to keep a steady pace. You note that before you left, her glass of water had been untouched, so you make a mental reminder to hydrate her before throwing her in bed.  

‘Alcohol was not kind to those in their 30s’ you heard their voice say in the back of your mind.  

As your steps left crunching noises in their wake, you peer up at the moon and glittering stars. A certain raven-haired and silver-eyed man etched in your brain. You wonder how soon it will be before seeing him again.  

‘Levi’ you sign to yourself with a free hand. A smile cemented to your face the whole way home.

☾ Next Chapter: December

#Skys blog recovery #this is ported from my old fandom blog chaotic-on-main #I did not steal these I swear lol they’re mine #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #levi ackerman #levi ackerman fanfiction #fanfiction #modern!au #fluff #angst #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #erwin smith #hange zoe #pls be nice to me #i'm trying #levi x fem!reader #aot #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman x you #snk fanfiction #mikasa ackerman #eren yeager #eren jaeger #long fic #snk #aot fluff

[etteraths]

#typography #positive #recovery #recoverycore #healing #aesthetic #text #words #mine #aesthetic blog #sky #sky series #photography

[dearreader]

k so i made this poll awhile ago to answer my question on if people would rather spend a date with a swiftie or an anti-swiftie (someone who hates her and devotes their life to hating on her). i mentioned i didn’t have the spoons to handle it being longer than a day and know it was going to be biased as it would start in my circle and would work it’s way out, so i wanted to do a longer poll when i had the energy to handle a week long poll like that. (i’m assuming when i post this, as i’m pre making it, i’ll be in recovery from my nose surgery since i’ll be stuck at home a week so i’ll have more time to monitor and look at the tags)

so nows the time, but i’m going to addendum the question a bit:

*some extra things that came up on the original poll i didn’t elaborate on fully that i want to make clear:

- you don’t get a say in what type of swiftie you get. assume that you’re going to be spending the evening with someone who massively loves her and her music and wants to discuss it. they’ll talk about songs, their favorite lines and meanings, symbolism behind the reputation album, etc.

- YOU MUST TALK ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT. even if it’s the anti-swiftie you must talk about her. i understand the sentiment people made on her not coming up, and that’s valid, but that’s not the question i’m asking. YOU HAVE TO SPEND THE EVENING WITH SOMEONE WHOS GOING TO TALK ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT NONSTOP, WILL IT BE THE LOVER OR HATER?

- im just trying to gather a general consensus on this and want to get data from a lot of people which means this is going to end up on people’s blogs who probably hate swifties and are annoyed by them. that’s okay as that’s the point of my question. but if you’re going to go off in the tags about how much you hate her or hate swifties and be an asshole about it im blocking you. you can just simple say “i hate her/i hate swifties” and don’t need to elaborate. you don’t need to sit in the tags going off on how much you hate her and trying to “defend” yourself from swifties. i just want an answer to the question.

- ALSO, this is not an open poll to go harass anyone in general. if you are a swiftie and see an hater in the tags and wanna fight DON’T FUCKING DO IT. just block and go read/watch your favorite media and think of blorbos kissing or whatever, but DO NOT SEND HATE OR HARASS ANYONE.

the hypothesis im trying to prove is that people in general would much rather spend an evening with someone that is going to talk about something they love all night vs someone who will spend the evening talking about something they hate. i want to gather as much data as possible to get a good consensus and if you go and be an asshole to someone because of their tags on this poll, either side of the swiftie to anti-swiftie spectrum, your disproving the point. if you see tags you don’t like just simply block and carry on. understand? k good.

- in general this is not meant to be a very serious or heavy question. it’s meant to just let me pick people’s brains and see what they’d want to do. i just want to get my results and go. just vote, drop your opinion in the tags, and go.

- also, this last part is silly and not at all related to my data, but since i’m forcing you on a dinner date i’ll at least let you pick the restaurant and food you have. so if you could also say what restaurant/food choice you’d want and what you’d want to order i’d love to hear it. sky’s the limit here. go nutz or even very specific on what you’d want to eat. i am trying to learn to cook and don’t know a lot of recipes or different food types, so i’m hoping this will give me a bigger idea of what food is out there to make. (this question is not meant to be a way to stick it to anyone or for you to go “i’ll go to a shitty ass restaurant and take a swiftie/anti-swiftie and make them eat garbage 🤪”, it’s just a fun question to give people something positive to add to the poll if they want. AGAIN IF YOUR GOING TO BE AN ASSHOLE ILL BLOCK YOU.)

- i’m going to be annoying and ask that you reblog for a wider sample size and such, if you don’t want to that’s fine, but i’m going to be polite and ask you nicely.

that should be everything, thank you for reading my long ass list and voting in this poll. i hope you have a good day and such.

#kelly babels #polls #taylor swift

[the-moon-files]

So I have tried to request this prompt from someone else but I don't think their blog is that active anymore. If your willing I'd love to request the following.

Prompt: Reader is bisexual and gender neutral.

Reader is considered fairly attractive and gets flirted with pretty often by basically whoever gender wise. And maybe reader and Zelda even end up flirting a little bit. Reader would have a similar lackadaisical flirty personality as Warriors has.

I wanted to see how each of The Chain would react to this with the context of them having secret feelings for the reader.

2nd official request, woo look at me go 🏃💨

Sun: Gender-neutral Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: Zelda (Assuming they meant BOTW), + the classic Chain of Links <3

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, mild typical loz violence, Mildly Suggestive, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

so i like to think that modern flirting is radically different than their medieval flirting,

like mayyybbeee Wild can handle it, but even then, they have royalty/knights still, so hes still gettin flustered lol

and i like to think u learned that difference the first time Wars complimented ur new/strange modern fit, and u returned the energy?? except 10x stronger (to them)??

youve played the player, and beat him at his own game, the Captain of the knights is sputtering and shit LMAO

(he said smth like, “their beauty is god-like in this otherworldly clothing“ and YOU said smth like he’d “thank you, youd look better in my bed than in armor 👉 😎 👉 ” lmao)

funniest part is, bc its so natural, i can see u immediately shooting off smth and forgetting it instantly, much to the Links collective shock 😭

u go to towns and notice theres always 1 hero around to steer u away from shopkeepers, townsppl, etc so u wont flirt w/them LMAO

(when u finally notice, u just, “ohh i get it now, so im only allowed to flirt with someone named Link, ohhh, okayy” and they just, “NO we didnt say that-!” “No its just their bold flirtations are not for the weak of heart-!” “Yes.” “CAPTAIN-”)

the only one who they cant steer u away from is Zelda.

afterall, they kinda have to inform the Princess/now Queen of the kingdom, whats going on w/them traveling with Link (Wild) around time and space

the sheikah tablet had been disconnecting + reconnecting to Purah’s both fascination and worry

so as theyre invited to eat dinner and explain in the rebuilding castle, everyone’s absorbed in shadow talk or smth, and u can see Zelda’s struggling to follow along, u just casually bring it back to her, as she’s also trying to write notes and theyve moved on too quickly w/o her

“wowww, all these men and not a single one’s gonna offer the lady any, ‘hi, hello, how is the most beautiful girl in the world today?’ “

and the gapingggg from the links shut them right up, while Zelda goes all pink and coughs, and agrees that they should move on to more chill topics lol

and u can crack anybody tbh, Zelda giggles at ur compliments all the time, even in work mode, u can deffo get Wars to blush to his ears, and even Time to look away first in a flirty + staring contest lol

Legend might actually put his hands up like he’s prepared to fight u anytime u try to flirt at him when its just you two, before he realizes what hes doing and stops LMAO

oh and u absolutely get a lot of mileage out of that one lol

the best reactions have gotta be, in order of most to least extreme: Hyrule, Sky, Wild, Four, Legend, Twilight, Wars, Time

Rulie, Sky, Wild and Four fall into that classic, shocked-heart-eyes, full blush up to their pointy ears, etc category when u get them,

they are also very easy to get lmao

Four is the best at recovery, or ducking away, but if its the Colors, its this type of obvious lol, w/the obvious ones like Red and Blue, Green takes a little more to break, and tbh Vio could go toe-to-toe w/u better than Wars tbh before he crumbles under the pressure lol

Legend, Twi, Wars, and Time faces may not change a lot, bc theyre trying to save it lmao, but the way their cheeks go pink and ears twitch is how u know ur gettting to them (along w/legend’s defensive reaction to getting cornered LMAO)

Twi has caved and covered his face w/his hands before lmao

one day youll get Time to break more than an ear twitch, and looking away, One Day.

(Wind is in fact, having the time of his life, watching you absolutely hilariously wreck these otherwise v serious heroes, hes glad u got them to finally relax a little, but also its hilarious seeing Wars and Legend red faces, and occasionally stealing Wild’s tablet to take funny pics of them all to blackmail later lol)

☆

idk how good that was, as im kinda bust at flirty banter between characters, so i hope this suffices ur need to flirt w/everyone lol

also i feel i should apologize for not rlly including pronouns? it just kinda comes w/writing reader stories to put them in 2nd person to both make intimacy for readers w/their little avatar im controlling for them, and to purposefully remove the need for gendered pronouns :/

so im sorry i couldnt quite figure out how to make it where “they/them” got used much, i promise i love all pronouns, its just a skill issue tbh lmao

btw

send any prayers, blessings, or good vibes u got my way tomorrow bc im getting wisdom teeth surgery and i am intimidated✨

ill post more asks (i have multiple asks!! <33) after im lying in bed lamenting my painful fate,

mostly just worried ill react badly to the drugs, also the idea of being knocked out during surgery is a little scary so what can i say

have a great weekend guys!! thanks for reading if u did :)

Peace out,

🌙

#lu x reader #linked universe x reader #link x reader #loz link x reader #linked universe reader #lu x gender neutral reader #linked universe gn reader #gn reader #gn reader imagines #moon asks #tags are so hard #send good vibes u guys surgery is scary #ive acc been awake the last time i got a tooth extracted which is why this is extra weird for me #also i got it late in life im 23 lmao #uknow maybe u flirting w/the boys would automatically up their game so then they start getting better at beatin u at it lmao #omfg can u imagine tho #medieval looking wars that usually speaks shakespeare level flirts just says now #'so if i offered u enough shiny trinkets- would u be interesting in dating me?' #lmao

[andieperrie18]

nobody's daughters (part ii)

Series: Blue Eye Samurai

Pairing: Mizu x Widowed! Reader

Chapter Synopsis: Mizu takes notice of you.

Warning: SPOILERS on Episode 5

A/n & DISCLAIMER: I'm still establishing the connection between Mizu and Reader. But future chapters will soon have more interactions. Please bear with my grammar. I'll probably proof this sometime.

Parts: ONE // TWO // THREE // MASTERLIST

Tags: @thefairywanderer @satwitch-blog @veethewriter @cutttteeee

With one final release of air, you open your eyes as the small garden in front of you. A small butterfly flutters towards you landing on your nose for a few seconds making chuckle softly from  the ticklish feeling. You exhaled and finally stood from your seat.

“Excuse me,” you hear a raspy voice call you. You turn to meet your awakened patient, still weak but seeing the spotless piles of plates by the tray was enough to tell you she had eaten well. You smiled as you entered back inside and went towards her.

“You’ve eaten, that’s good to see, I suggest not doing too much these next few days if you don’t want to rip stitches, ” you trail as you arrive at Mizu’s side. She adjusts herself to face you while still struggling, reflected in expression and tone but she manages. As your gaze met hers, you were finally able to get a good look of her blue eyes.

Blue wasn’t the best description but rather a reflection of the bright sky. That would have been the best description if it weren’t for the immediate glint of darkness that flashed. Her eyes reflected a submerged iceberg. You looked away, as you cleared your throat upon realizing that you might have been staring intently at your guest. Not that Mizu had missed the long gaze, she simply looked towards the open veranda. The sound of water running beside the zen garden followed by sweet chirps of perched up birds by the wall rang around the room as the two women sat casually together for a long while.

Mizu’s attention had shifted from the garden to scanning the very room she was in. There wasn't much furniture and neither were they sophisticated but rather functional yet each still carried a feminine touch. I didn’t take the blue-eyed woman to understand that she was resting on the very room and futon of the woman of the house and her savior.

“I’ll be heading out now, I have a bit more chores to do,” you inhaled as you lifted yourself from the tatami floors of your room beside Mizu who simply watched you.

“Do not rush your recovery and take your time, you can walk around the place to stretch some muscles and simply ask Midori if you need anything,”

Mizu was a bit appalled by such a humble host, your smile did not have any kind of hidden agenda no matter how much skepticism she presumes on your every exchange. She watches you nod off to her and head out to the door. 

(-+-+-+-+-)

Mizu did spend the next few days resting and took the offer of scouring around your rather spacious yet one story Japanese home surrounded by rich and thriving vegetation. She found the rural beauty of your household surreal with how peaceful it was. Midori had shared that your land was indeed settled far from the confines of any busy village or town. You have lived your life in exile.

“The madame has been a wonderful and responsible head of this household, my husband and I have dedicated our lives to helping her around this lonely home,” Mizu listened to Midori intently as she ate lunch one bright afternoon. The kind woman had taken it upon herself to accompany Mizu and had been quite a talkative nurse much to Mizu’s expectation. But she wasn’t going to complain as she found it rather nice, the old lady’s gentleness was both foreign yet not, it reminded her of those moments where she was happy with her mother despite how few they were.

Mizu and Midori dined near the veranda of the center of the house that showed the landscape of vegetation that you have been tending and growing with Tanaka. 

“I find it unusual how she has intentionally taken on the task of being the head of the house. Was this house from her parents that was passed on to her?” Mizu trailed as her gaze found you at the center of the vegetable patch from the house.

“Oh no, madame was married to a farmer who owned this land, sadly died from circumstance that I am not in the position to share, but they were a happy couple and immensely contented with this life style,” Midori’s tone lowered when she spoke of your husband but immediately raised back to lighten the mood. The last thing the kind old lady wanted was for an awkward meal. Besides, you were doing well.

For a farmer or a husband, with the kind of land your household has, Mizu assumed it was impossible not to gain some kind of higher status. Doing business with your husband and his thriving produce, you could have been living a rather rich life. Not to mention, your looks.

She was no daft when it came to recognizing beauty. And like every beautiful provincial flower, she was sure that you could have found another husband to help you and provide you with a luxurious life. And yet here you were.

You, the lady of this household, dressed in a shade-colored tunic and long pants, your feet covered with a muddy enclosed straw slipper that you constantly submerged through dirt mud in your daily routine within the garden. Hair that was neither in a sophisticated style to be littered with elegant hair pieces, simply pulled together within your straw hat so that it cannot cover your face while you dig and pull the hoe in your hands to the soil. Your face was littered with dirt and sweat, yet exhaustion nor any sign of labored breaths was absent despite the fact the Mizu has been watching you word for more than an hour or two.

(-+-+-+-+-)

Mizu continues to reach full healing as days pass on, and as time passes, she has never once again had conversation with you as you were always occupied with your household and agricultural duties of your home. It was not really like Mizu has any business with your life but she's been rather curious of you. How you've chosen to live and devoted yourself to the responsibility of being the sole caretaker of your household, never bothering to find another husband and having to forever have your deceased husband's ghost of memories occupy the lost part of your heart.

Mizu came to you one afternoon as you were casually chopping each block of wood you pick up and chop and toss to a pile. A rather tall pile.

“Ah, you look like you're in good shape now,” you arched back as you watched Mizu approach you. 

“I would like to thank you once again but I have to leave soon,” Mizu states firmly to you. You stared at her for a moment as her firm. Mizu bowed her head.

“I don’t think I can ever repay your kindness in not just tending to me but also being a most gracious host. But I will repay you someday,” she implores as your expression contorts to surprise and concern.

“P-please, there is no need for such a gesture,” you state as you placed your ax down and stepped towards her. You took in that her figure, her simple gray tunic that you have owned that you haven’t for a long time fit her frame perfectly, concealing her true figure from your two trusted people around your home. 

Mizu took notice of this and looked down. Although your gaze wasn’t anything unkind or uncanny, it was still observant and a bit piercing through her thoughts. You did her a favor of not informing anyone of her true persona. And you know of the path she is currently walking on, she may be groggy that night but she didn’t miss your statement hurled towards her.

“If you have nothing more to say, I’ll wish for your safety, tell Tanaka to take you to my stables, take one of my horses,” Mizu’s eyes widened to this as but she never got to as Midori emerged behind her with a large bag. The kind old lady looked at her with a wrinkled smile.

You smiled at the scene and looked at your blue-eyed guest, “I highly suggest you take the horse, Midori isn’t keen on backing down on people not taking the dishes she prepares for them for travel,” you inform, Mizu looks up to meet your smile. Her chest warmed and as her lips curled in a small delight. 

“You take care of yourself child,” Midori worries as she accompanies Mizu back to the main road. The female trailed beside the old lady, her hands holding the reins of her new travel company.

“I will. I’ll be forever indebted to you, Tanaka and your Madame’s kindness,” Mizu states as they stood facing each other at the side of the dirt road. The brown horse neighed beside the woman as it nudged her. Midori chuckled as Mizu smiled and continued on with her farewells.

But there warm conversation were soon to be cut short.

“Well would you look at that, you’re still alive,” 

----

A/n: Channelling Inner Tanjiro Kamado next chapter.

#mizu x reader #mizu x you #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu bes #bes #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai netflix #blue eye samurai x reader

[lahooozaherr]

What Was I Made For?

Part 1

Please note: This blog stands with Palestine. If you are interacting with my account and TLOU related posts, I ask that you PLEASE visit these links. Be critical and mindful while partaking in TLOU content and be aware that creator Neil Druckmann is a Zionist.

Word Count: 4.7K

Warnings: Hypothermia??, soft!Joel, a pet name (sweetheart), Joel kinda goes to therapy, mention of child/loved one loss, I think that’s it but as always please let me know

MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI. AGELESS/BLANK ACCOUNTS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Chapter Summary: Joel and Tommy find you on their morning patrol, saving you from succumbing to hypothermia. You and Joel bond almost immediately, visiting you in your recovery. He takes your recommendation for a book you both relate to.

A/N: Howdy y’all, I’m so sorry I posted my Masterlist and lowkey ghosted :’D I went on vacation, my sweet bby cat passed away, life happened. But I finally got this edited where I want it and I hope I can keep those creative wheels turnings. Please comment and reblog if you end up liking it, it keeps me going!

Joel Vibes Playlist

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | AO3 | My Taglist

It had been a long journey, but you think you’d finally made it as you trekked across the snowy landscape. It was barely before the crack of dawn, the sky still a deep blue with scattered stars. You did your best to travel here from your previous “home”, coming across a dead traveler’s map indicating the supposed safe place.

You were exhausted, cursing to yourself that you shouldn’t have pushed your body as much as you had. But you were desperate. And scared, so tired of being scared. Traveling alone was already risky, but with your body pushed to its limit, it was twice as much.

You find your way to a clearing with some trees and bushes when you collapse. Your body had quite literally given up on you, after everything you put it through. What a cruel irony that it would be just when you’d made it to your destination.

Consciousness was becoming harder and harder to hold onto as you laid there in the snow, body too worn out to even shiver. You get one last look of the night sky as everything fades to black.

—————————————————————————

Joel didn’t particularly care for patrol, he just simply did it because he was one of the most fit for the job. Settling in Jackson meant doing your part for the community, and this became his. But over time he appreciated the solitude it provided. Once in a while there had been trouble with a wandering Infected, but nothing he couldn’t handle.

An early horse ride through the quiet mountainside outside of the town just as the sun rises ended up being a soothing balm for his aches. He’d ride alongside Tommy, sometimes engaging in conversation, but most of the time the brothers rode on in a companionable silence.

There’s something healing about being able to spend time in nature without as much fear for impending danger or survival.

Tommy was midway through his explanation for plans to head straight to breakfast upon their return when he stopped, halting his horse underneath him. “Joel, look, do you see that?” He points ahead of him. Joel stops alongside him, following his pointer finger, squinting his eyes to see better. The sun had just started to rise and cast a bright light off of the snow.

Joel finally spots what Tommy is bringing attention to, what looks like a slumped-over body in the snow. He swiftly jumps off his horse, bringing his rifle over his shoulder to ready just in case of danger. He signs to Tommy for silence with a finger raised to his lips, quietly stalking towards the body. It doesn’t move.

When he approaches the body, seeing it’s you, he sighs and signs to Tommy that it’s safe. Tommy releases the breath he held in, “what is it?”

“A girl,” Joel kneels next to you and checks you over, bringing a hand to touch your face. You’re ice cold, enough for him to at first think you’re dead. But he knows better than to assume from just that, moving his fingers over your neck’s pulse point, then reaching for your wrist. He feels a pulse. Faint, but definitely there.

“She’s alive!” He shouts to Tommy, who jumps off his horse, reaching into the satchel on its side and pulls out a homemade quilt. After making a quick look for obvious wounds on your body, Joel makes quick work of removing his top coat and maneuvers you around to wrap you in it. It’s leather and thick, something that should hopefully trap any heat it can.

Tommy’s next to Joel’s side in an instant, handing him the blanket he also uses to wrap you in.

Joel shuffles on his knees to prepare himself to lift you, feeling a twinge in his lower back that makes him groan. Tommy holds his arms out, “here I got ‘er, don’t hurt your back.”

“Nah, nah it’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah it’s ok, you take care of the horses. I’ got her, I don’t want to try to sling her over one though.”

“Alright.”

Tommy returns to the horses, connecting the leash of Joel’s to his. He mounts his and leads them after Joel.

Joel adjusts you in his arms, cautiously getting you into a proper position to carry you. His eyes dart all over your features, taking them in. His mind runs through all the ways they can take a shortcut back to the town and considers them. He doesn’t know how long you’ve been out here and has no idea how much time you could have.

He scrunches the hood of the blanket around your face, not completely covering it but just enough to start building some warmth. For the meantime, at least.

He stomps one foot before the other in the snow, breaking it apart with the large steps to get through. Him and Tommy head back down their trail.

—————————————————————————

You are frozen, you can definitely feel that. Your limbs feel stiff and threaten to tremble more than they could be if it weren’t for the all encompassing embrace you feel. When you start to hazily come to, you realize you’re wrapped and being carried.

Hold on. You’re being carried?

Before you can even process the entire thought, your heart rate starts to pick up. You hear your blood in your ears and bile rises at the back of your throat as panic starts to set in. Where are you being taken? Whose carrying you?”

When you open your eyes, you don’t even stop to take a look at who's holding you, you just do your damndest to wiggle out of their arms.

“Whoa, WHOA there!”

You hear a man cry out but you continue to jerk away. He fumbles his grip on you but still manages to keep you close. He kneels to set you on the ground, leaning against him.

“Hey. Heyyy, settle down now,” he says in a low voice, attempting to calm you down. With his hand that’s not underneath you, he uses it to cup the side of your face and bring your attention to him.

You stop fighting back as soon as you meet his eyes. Dark, brown eyes you become instantly lost in. They look concerned, and warm as he keeps them on yours. You start to calm down, only the sound of your ragged breathing between you.

“Hey now, it’s ok, you’re safe I promise,” he almost pleads to you, attempting further to coaxe you down. Not that you have much strength to fight back anyhow. But the look in his eyes, and the sincerity in his voice, breaks through to you. You could almost cry, it’s a miracle you were found.

“We’re taking you back to our town,” he explains, his southern accent peeking through the lilt in his tone. “We’ll fix ya up there, ok sweetheart?”

Before he can really finish what he’s saying, you’ve been pulled back into a deep sleep. You’re finally experiencing a sliver of safety since god knows when, and it’s enough for your body to relax and give in to the darkness.

—————————————————————————

When you come to, your body feels instantly thrusted into fight or flight. You open your eyes with a sharp inhale through your nose, hands clutching the bedding surrounding you. You feel a large hand quickly cover yours, holding and giving an intentional squeeze.

You look over to that side of you and see the man from earlier. He’s seated beside you, one hand over yours and the other rubbing your shoulder. It feels like he’s trying to help ground you, once again.

“Hey I’m here, it’s alright,” he practically cooes. The timbre of his voice is stern but smooth at the same time. The hand on your shoulder runs up and down your arm.

You stare back at him, speechless. Your breathing is rapid and hard to bring down, heart hammering in your chest.

“Here, just breathe with me, ok?” He starts to demonstrate to you a breathing technique, inhaling and exhaling from his nose as well, in timed increments. You do as he says and follow along, matching your breathing to his. He guides the hand he’s holding to sit flat on your belly, then reaches for your other hand to place on your chest. He gives a quick grunt of approval as he continues along with you.

After a few minutes, your rapid heartbeat and breathing subside. When he notices, one side of his mouth turns up into a grin.

You study his features as you come down, noticing his eyes once again. He looks like a gruff man on the surface, but his emotions shine bright through his eyes. His salt and pepper hair is fluffy and slightly tamed. Scruff that matches frames his jaw, save for a few bare patches. But that doesn’t take away from how handsome he is.

“There now, there ya go,” he encourages, giving your hand another intentional squeeze. “The so-called therapist in town taught me that. Helpful, huh?”

You can’t seem to muster a response despite the thousands of questions that flood your mind. You look around at your surroundings and do your best to soak it all in. You’re in a normal bedroom, in a very normal bed covered with quilts. A normalcy you haven’t seen in so long.

You notice to the side of him is a pair of reading glasses on top of a book. When your eyes meet him again, he grins cautiously as he removes his hands and leans back. You already miss the safety of his touch.

“Did you….stay with me?” You finally stutter out a question. He sits straight in his seat and nods, you can see the flex of his shoulders from how tight his plaid shirt stretches across them.

“I figured you’d want to wake up to a somewhat familiar face,” he answers with a chuckle. “You’re in Jackson, by the way.”

You lean back against the pillows, releasing a sigh of relief. You made it, you really made it. And this man saved you, almost in more ways than one already.

“Name’s Joel,” he offers. In return, you share your name as well.

His gaze on you feels comforting, the most you’ve felt from a man in ages. It’s very hard to come by that in this world.

A knock on the door startles you, causing you to reflexively grab for Joel’s hand. He allows you, wrapping your hand in his. The door opens and a woman approaches from the other side, “hey there, heard some commotion. Is our girl finally awake?”

“She sure is,” Joel responds to her. She nods in acknowledgement to him and approaches your other side, “I’m one of the town doctors, Elaina.” You snap out of your daze and respond with your name again and she smiles.

“Joel got you here just in the nick of time, any longer and you would have been in serious trouble. Mild hypothermia. After a week or so of rest and recovery, you should be just fine. Apologies for the change in clothes, I had to check for wounds. I’m sure you understand.”

“H-how long was I out?”

“Not too long since I found you,” Joel interjects. “But at least been a day.”

The more you’ve sat at attention, the more you can feel the stiff soreness throughout your limbs. You slump back into the bed and release a breathy exhale. It definitely feels like it will be some time before you’re back up and running.

Joel pats your hand and stands, “I’ll be right back.” When he rises to stand, you reach out to grab his hand back. But halfway through you realize how strange that might seem and stop yourself. But he seems to notice, and gives you a reassuring smile, “I’m grabbing you some food, I won’t be long.” You concede, “ok.”

After he leaves, the doctor places a stethoscope across your back and chest. You do as she directs so she can check you over. She tells you to give yourself about a week or so before any activity, stay in bed, etc. and to not worry.

“Now that you’re in Jackson, you’re a part of the community, the details can be worried about later,” she affirms to you. Relief washes over you. You feel so grateful to have ended up here. To have been saved. Especially to be saved by Joel.

—————————————————————————

Later, Joel returns with a tray of food. Something light, for the time being. You can’t overdo it in this state. You thank him before promptly digging in.

He sits back in the chair he occupied before, bringing his book and glasses back to his lap.

“Is that what you were doing while you waited for me?” You query, as he responds with an amused huff, hanging the reading glasses in the front pocket of his flannel shirt.

“Yeah, had to pass the time somehow,” he mutters as he takes a quick shuffle through the book pages. “Been pretty caught up in this one lately.”

He holds it for you to see the name: No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy. The name seems familiar, maybe you’ve read something of his. It’ll probably come to you later.

You stop eating your food for a moment, processing the situation some more. “Thank you,” you begin to say.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he replies in a voice almost mournful. Haggard from years of living in this kind of world.

“Well, I am,” you state.

You stare into each other's eyes for a few moments, not budging. His expression seems conflicted, like he doesn’t know how to receive thanks in the first place. He pats both of his legs before standing, picking up his book from your side table. “Well I best be lettin’ you rest.”

You wish you could ask him to stay, but prevent yourself from that as well. You’ve only just met the man, but even then, after only just meeting, he’s made you feel the most security you’ve had in so long. Maybe it’s the abandonment issues but your heart screams for him to stay.

You’re not sure how to respond with this whirlwind in your chest crying out for comfort. You settle with a nod to him on his way out. He stops in the doorway to give you a wave goodbye and pauses, eyes lingering on you before he finally turns to leave.

The doctor, Elaina, checks on you a few more times before leaving you to rest for the night. As much as you feel lonely, you also feel content. It’s hard to resist the real mattress and blankets that surround you. The silence is comfortable as you drift back into a proper slumber.

—————————————————————————

He returns the next morning, to your surprise again. He finds you sitting upright in bed, just after Elaina had done her morning check on you. She gives him a small smile in acknowledgment passing him on her way out of the door.

“You came back?” You questioned. He lingers in the doorway with a tray of food, eyes searching yours for silent permission to enter.

He looks down at the tray and back to you, “I figured I’d stop by after my patrol….bring you some proper breakfast.”

You’re stunned and start to become very aware of how obvious that emotion is displayed in your expression. It’s such a kind gesture, from someone who just barely met (saved) you yesterday. Worry laces his features subtly, when you notice you smile, “thank you.” His face brightens slightly, trading the worrisome facade for one of relief.

He gingerly sets the tray upon your lap and returns to the same seat beside you. A sigh of relief escapes his lips, you’re not sure if it’s from his busy morning or that he’s attained your approval. You don’t mind either way.

“How’re ya feelin’ today?” He asks, adjusting himself in his seat, resting his elbows on his thighs.

“Already so much better,” you respond as you situate the tray of food on your lap. “I keep thinking it’s a dream. I haven’t been met with kindness like this in so long.”

His face is stoic but his eyes speak volumes, full of empathy. You can tell he understands the feeling without saying it. He leans back and folds his arms across his chest as he watches you take bites of your food.

“Where are ya from?”

“Denver QZ. I came across a map with notes about here. Figured I had nothing to lose.”

“By yourself?”

“Yeah. I’ve been alone for a while.”

The conversation grows grim, nearing a tender spot. A spot Joel is very familiar with.

“That’s very dangerous, travelin’ by yourself,” he states, raising an eyebrow at you.

“It was. I’ve learned to be quiet and lie low. But I know I’m just lucky,” you sigh. You were very aware of how bad it could have gone. But self preservation is thin when you’re isolated and desperate. You don’t feel like you have to explain yourself much more in regards to that. He seems to accept it, though.

“Well…” he begins, taking your finished tray and setting it to the side. “You’ve come to the right place. Tommy’ll figure out the details.”

“Tommy?”

“My brother. He an’ I found you together, he’ll come see you himself eventually,” he continues.

“But you just worry about resting, leave to rest to us and Elaina. We’ll help you get settled in.”

You nod slowly, absorbing the new information. It’s been such a relief to have others to rely on, to finally find a community. You can’t wait for this fresh start.

You look around him, “didn’t bring your book today?”

“Ah, it’s at home. I thought about bringing it up but I didn’t know if you were going to talk my ear off or not,” he teases, giving you a half-grin.

You feel heat rushing to your cheeks, “been a long time since I’ve done that, too.” You chuckle under your breath.

But as you relax back into the bed, stomach full, you feel like you could sleep forever. The satisfied feeling tempts you back to sleep, but you’re too interested in your new friendship with Joel. You wonder why such an intimidating man like himself chooses to stick by you.

“I was thinking about where I’d seen that author before, from the book you’re reading,” you tell him. “It’s been a very long time but I’ve read his book called ‘The Road’.”

You think back to when you had read the book, finding it in a pile in an abandoned library you’d stumbled into years ago. It was one of the few you’d taken.

“‘The Road’, huh?” He rubs at the scruff on his chin with his knuckles. “What’s it about?”

You give him a shrug, “well, a father and son in the apocalypse. Although a bit of a hard read, nowadays.”

Joel’s interest peaked, “father and son?”

You nod with a yawn, “But it’s honestly good, I still enjoyed it….” Your voice starts to trail off, growing more tired.

“Is that so?” He ponders for a moment, genuinely. “If I see it I’ll grab it.”

You nuzzle into your pillow with a sleepy grin as you close your eyes, “if you do…..we can talk about it….”

Joel watches you fall asleep, exhaustion finally winning over. He smiles to himself.

—————————————————————————

Joel does find the book, pretty quickly actually. When he left you to rest, he sought out the makeshift library in town. By a stroke of luck, the selection had plenty of that author. Even doubles of some of his titles. But Joel sifted through until he finally came across a copy of ‘The Road’.

He gives it a look over on his walk home, reading through the synopsis on the back.

A father and his son walk alone through burned America. Nothing moves in the ravaged landscape save the ash on the wind.

It makes him think of Ellie and Sarah. The world as it is now. He remarks on how ironic it feels to have this recommended to him, by someone who barely knows him.

He starts on it that night.

—————————————————————————

“You’re back,” you state, your eyes meeting Joel’s as he lingers in your doorway. Again, with a tray of food in his hands.

“I didn’t have patrol today,” is his only explanation he offers. You accept that, because you’ve been secretly hoping to see him again anyways.

He sets the tray in front of you as you murmur a thank you. He settles back into the seat next to you, “how are you feeling this morning?”

“Much better,” you explain. “I slept for so long, Elaina had to wake me up to eat dinner.”

“Good, I’m sure your body needs it.”

Heat threatens to cross your cheeks from that statement until you tamp it down, “do you eat?”

Joel quirks an eyebrow in response, you immediately realize how poorly the question sounded.

“I-I’m sorry, I mean, you’ve been bringing me food. I hope you’ve also been eating?”

“I do,” he shrugs. “But, it’s hard to, sometimes.”

The expression on his face is somber, something you find harder to read. But based on your personal experience, feelings like anxiety and stress can certainly do that to someone. You feel it’s best to not press further.

He reaches into his inner coat pocket and pulls out a book, laying it next to your legs, “I found you some readin’ material.”

A soft gasp escapes your lips, followed by a smile. You pick up the copy of ‘The Road’, turning it in your hands. It’s been too long since you last held a book that wasn’t at least falling apart or being eaten by mold.

You flip through the pages, marveling at the condition. It’s not brand new by any means, but it’s at least cared for. Adorned with the regular wear and tear of readers' in the past.

“I’m almost done with it,” he notes. Your heart swells in your chest. He was so quick to find and read it. You see where he’s bookmarked it, just a couple of pages from the end. There’s just nothing like the feeling of someone taking your recommendation for a book and actually reading it.

“That was so fast!” You exclaim, opening the book where he last was.

“I couldn’t put it down, to be honest.”

“You must have really like it?”

“I do, very much,” he grins. “I saw some of myself in there.”

“I love when that happens, even if it’s sad.”

You start to skim through, looking for something. He watches you intently as your fingers slide through the pages. The look on your face is satisfying to him, a twinkle returning to your eyes.

“Ah, here, one of my favorite quotes,” you begin to read the passage out loud.

‘You have to carry the fire.

I don’t know how to.

Yes, you do.

Is the fire real? The fire?

Yes it is.

Where is it? I don’t know where it is.

Yes you do. It’s inside you. It always was there. I can see it.’

You lift your head to meet Joel’s gaze, warm with a hint of sorrow. Your emotions probably match his own, in some capacity.

“It made me think of my daughter,” he admits quietly. Your smile drops, he gestures for you to hand him the book. When he takes it, he turns through it until he finds what he’s looking for. He reads the passage.

‘Each the other’s world entire.’

You remember that line. You’ve thought about that a lot. The meaning of it. You used to have others in your life like that. Loved ones lost to the beginning of the end of the world as you knew it.

He stares down at the page, caressing it with his thumb. His chest expands with a deep breath. When he looks back up to you, his eyes are glazed over. Your eyebrows turn upward in concern for him.

He jerks his chin towards your tray, “you should eat.”

You and almost entirely forgot about the food, too caught up in the moment to even feel your stomach rumble. You bring the tray closer to begin your meal, “your daughter?”

He doesn’t respond right away, which sends your stomach into a somersault. You feel insensitive for asking like that. For something so obviously personal and distressing.

“I-I’m sorry, I keep getting ahead of myself,” you stammered, launching into damage control mode. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“Don’t apologize, sweetheart,” he reassures you, his voice is tender and low. The nickname would be music to your ears if it weren’t accompanied with such sadness. But you’re so empathetic to this, you know how hard it can be to find the words. He doesn’t seem offended, at least.

Your meal is spent listening to him explain what happened, to your surprise. You’d half expect someone in his position to keep that closed off. A wound that still feels open and fresh.

But he tells what happened that day everything changed. How his daughter was ripped away from him so suddenly, her life slipped away as he held her in his arms. Cradled her long after she was gone, closer to his chest than the day she was born.

He also tells you about Ellie, how that relationship came to be. He’s more vague with this story, but you feel like you have a mutual understanding of that. You feel honored enough that he was willing to share with you. You’re happy he’s found purpose again. No one could ever replace Sarah, but Ellie became the lighthouse in the dark that he desperately needed, much to his own surprise.

It’s extremely hard to move on from something like that. It’s frightening to find new love and always fear of losing it again. It’s scary to be vulnerable in an apocalyptic world that seeks to stamp down any semblance of safety and consistency.

Food tray long since finished and set to the side, you bring the book back to your lap as you listen to him finish his story. You thumb through the pages until you find a line that came to your mind as he spoke about Sarah and Ellie. You read it out loud.

‘You have my whole heart. You always did.’

He smiles softly, cupping his hand over yours to give you a small affectionate squeeze as you hold the book. You return the gesture, opening your palm for him. His hands are large, warm and calloused. The warmth of his hand in yours is soothing.

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” you comfort him.

“I don’t usually do that,” he murmurs as he brings a sleeve up to dab at the tears that say at the ends of his eyes. “Must be special.”

You smile bashfully, your eyes drawn down to your lap to avoid his gaze. You hear a low chuckle rumble from his chest.

“I regularly ask myself….if I couldn’t save my baby, the one most precious to me, what was I made for?”

You meet his eyes with tears pricking at the ends of yours, you try to convey as much empathy and compassion as possible in your eyes. Let him read them.

“You were made to love, and be loved,” you tell him, matter of factly.

His lips part in awe, rendered speechless. You say it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. As if he had only simply forgotten this fact.

Not him, not with his past, not with the blood on his hands, is what he almost says. You had both alluded to each other at times that you’ve both had to do things to survive this world. Most have. But you were still somehow loving, kind and compassionate. Even to someone like him. He knows how he comes across to people in town, and it’s hard to adjust and unlearn that survival habit to be brooding and formidable. But it’s also what’s comfortable, what he’s used to. It’s carried him this far in life.

The two of you stay like that for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes.

Divider by @saradika (I usually make sure to reblog your dividers but I wasn’t sure if I got this one so I’m tagging you here. I usually get my dividers from you but I don’t want to spam you with my fics so I wanted to let you know here at least ;3;)

#joel miller x reader #Joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller

[3ntity56]

I decided I might as well make an introductory page. (DO NOT LEAVE ANY MORE NOTES ITS AT 56)

(bars by @anti-rq-boxes and @the-radio-star-is-a-kookaburra and @boxesforsys) Tags: #entity says #aidan says #erie says #jade says #haru says #hera says #zim says #gateway says My account is getting a little bit of traction, and others do it. So... Hello. My name is Entity. Formally, Entity 56. But, if we are friends, you can simply call me En. I identify as a peaceshipper: my shipping stance does not matter as I am completely anti-harassment. I am an eclectic Wiccan, and I hold a special relationship with the moon. I believe all of nature and natural/weather phenomena hold energetic force. If you are not comfortable talking to someone who speaks to the sky...! I am genderqueer. Let's leave it at that.

I am sapioromantic and asexual.

I struggle with alexithymia, meaning I have a hard time getting a reading on how I feel emotionally or physically unless it's RIGHT THERE jumping in my face. I am an otherlink (luna moth) and otherkin (spiritually an alien and a satyr, psychologically a deep-sea eldritch.) I am also a Toko Fukawa fictkin. I enjoy weirdcore, cryptids/cryptidcore and cottagecore. I also enjoy moths and butterflies. :) I have been professionally diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). I have OSDD-1b. On that note, I have been hyperfixated on psychology for years now. I will go INSANE if that special interest is fed. This blog is mostly for reblogging whatever I find interesting, which varies widely through time, but is a safe space for all genders (including genderhoarders and 'contradictory labels), sexualities (as long as they're ethical), 'scary' or 'demonized' disorders (personality disorders, psychotic disorders, dissociative disorders, ANTI-CONTACT paraphilic disorders, etc) religions*, system origins, age regressors, etc. DNI: Bigots of ANY kind (including those that are racist against non-POC or misandrists), pro/neutral/complex-contact/anti recovery harmful paraphilics, radqueers, TransID (other than gender), anti-therian/otherkin/alterhuman/etc, t(w)erfs/swerfs, DSMP fans, Christian blogs, syscourse/shipcourse blogs, proana blogs More may be added or some may be removed as time goes on. PS: Stay out of the comments if you don't like drama! *I hold nothing against Christians, but due to trauma, am incapable of partaking in much of Christian content.

#entity says

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Do you have any fics you recommend off the top of your head? Sorry if you’ve answered this already

Hi! I have not answered this already, and I've ended up NOT answering this off the top of my head lol. I'm assuming you mean Avatar fics (although I am happy to give recs for any other type of fic I read, or just best ones I've read if that's what you meant?). I've made this stupidly extensive and long list sorted into categories of Spider fics (with some bonus Avatar fics unrelated to Spider that did rock). Here it is you are welcome.

A NOTE: These are fics I have bookmarked and I enjoyed enough to recommend. I have read a ton more obviously, and I can give more specific ones, but they might not be of the same quality :)))) Also I don't read anything Quaritch/Recom sympathetic so you won't find that here. And don't worry I will continue my what Spider fic am I thinking of series, because I am not giving any actual reviews here lol. It will be marked if it contains mature content, and linked if I have done a review/rec for it.

Spider Sully!!!: (my a03 collection for spider sully fics if you want to keep up with what I add to it)

-Foreign Body by TreeTrope @hes-a-tough-kid

-oel ngati kameie series by @mochalottie (bestie friend of the blog)

-Nísoaia by flaming_keys @dinas-bracelet (another iconic friend of the blog, mature content) review

-Found Family series by siren_songs

-Spider Sully series by @alexihollis

-No One Worried 'Cause They Knew Just Where I'd Be and This Home is Home (and All That I Need) by SmokeyBubble (I skimmed the other parts of this series, they were not for me but these parts are Very good)

-Kelku (Raising Spider AU) series by iammadeofmemories review

-Keeping up with the Sullys series by @platinumink

-In Another Life by transient_wavelet (I think this one is about to get slightly recom sympathetic tho so we will see if it turns me off enough I remove the bookmark, but I liked the first section!)

-Need to Come Down for Oxygen by dieformedove review

-Left Behind by Lookeri

-Half Alive by @eirianerisdar

-Family is Who You Fight For by virtualpapercuts

-Pinned down by Marnky (this is eating disorder focused which made me hesitant to rec it as that is not my fav, but I bookmarked it! so it's in here!)

-eywa provides by @mochalottie (we just rec every and all lottie fics)

-The boy in the cell by Lookeri review

-baby mine by @mochalottie

-Nature or Nurture by ENC95 review

-The Spider Chronicles series by @meenawrites (yet another icon bestie friend of the blog)

-A Spider's Life by ENC95

-I promise, I tried by Alia_JuneBug

-Reciprocity by moonewriting

-The Heat of the Moment by @hempbug

-Recovery by Ivoryseia

-for the nights and days of life by @mochalottie

Locorro Shit:

-Restless Child series by ScovilleMilk @spicymiilk (I beta this one it's so good!!)

-Mine and His series by sweetmars03 review

-Bitter by Icandigelvis @oppa86oppa (this is THE locorro fic it began a revolution)

-Could This be Love by HufflepuffWolf_1991 review

-Recessive by JadedFalling @theoriginaljordge (aNOTHER friend of the blog)

Tonowari and Ronal Adopting Spider:

-I'm Still Here by @alexihollis review

-From Sky to Sea by @eirianerisdar

-our hearts beat in the womb of the world by @mochalottie review

Spider Introspectives:

-Human or More by virtualpapercuts

Rocorro Shit:

-quiet mornings by AstersandInk @asfateentertwines

Anyone Else Adopting Spider:

-You'll Be in My Heart by AnodyneTheAnimal @stupidlytiredstudent (our man Norm) review

-More Than My Body by @alexihollis (our man Tsu'tey)

-The Song of Healing by by dreamsoflovingness (our man Tommy)

Spiriiiiiii:

-Please be kind, please be gentle with me by cuipid @milesocorro (a lil mature content) review

-You Gave Me All You Had (And Now I Am Home) by Bellarkyy

Nocorro Shit:

-Like Seaglass in an Ocean (Like how a Single Word Can Make a Heart Open) by CherryApollo

Take a Bite of the Orange by CherryApollo (i see u bestie)

Fun Fic, Side Spider:

-A Son for a Son by @icequeenlila (dude Spider is lowkey a badass in the back of this and I'm very invested in the tragedy of it all)

-Soundtrack (Human AU) by subster (he did just get a MAJOR chapter all on his own tho)

-Sully's Stick Together- All Of Them by Jay42Leatherback666 review

-Head to Head (Heart to Heart) by TheGodWith5Yen review

(Here is my collection for all other Spider fics I enjoy if you want to keep up with what I add to that)

No Spider but a Banger:

-Happiness is Simple series by I_Would_Prefer_Not_To (Jeytiri, mature content)

-It started with a whisper (and that was when I kissed him) by soymilktea (aonunete, listen the lack of spider in this fic is criminal but I live and breathe dumb social media aus I have a collection just for them)

-My Beloved by Zinstrae (jeytiri, mature content)

-My brother's keeper (Tom Sully lives! AU) series by take your peace now (makeyourpeacenow) @makeyourpeacenow

-Two Halves (of the same soul) by femme_forte (jeytiri, I looove a daemon au)

#if you saw this ask get posted half finished no u didn't #if i mentioned ur fic and u want to be tagged lmk #i promise u i've read every spider fic to ever exist #that doesn't have quaritch as good lol #also if i see u use any of my dumbass ship names i've single handedly forged then know i've seen and i know #spider socorro #miles spider socorro #jake sully #neytiri sully #jeytiri #neteyam sully #nocorro #lo'ak sully #locorro #kiri sully #spiri #tuktirey sully #tonowari #ronal #ao'nung #tsireya #tommy sully #tsu'tey #fic recs #melissa on avatar (cameron) #melissa's asks

[howlyourmelancholy]

Amortentia

summary: to her, he is the smell of Amortentia.

warnings: little bit of fluff, little bit of angst, it is SFW

word count: 450

a/n: this came of the blue while i was working one day, like a year ago, and have been sitting in my drafts for a while, while i figured out what i was going to do with this blog and how i wanted to set it up. finally figured out what i was doing, so came back to finish this. sorry in advance for the heartache :(

Sirius Orion Black is many things, and she would describe none of them as simple.

To her, he is the smell of Amortentia.

He is a mystery wrapped in leather, and she longed to understand him. He is a bad boy with a wicked tongue and old-world charm. He is someone who is unravelling because the world is smothering him.

He is midnight motorcycle rides beneath a pitch-black sky and hushed laughter as he snuck her out of the bedroom window. He is the wind in her hair and the adrenaline rush in her veins.

He is whisky-flavoured kisses and nights of endless passion. He is the reason she sees stars at night and why she can’t ever seem to catch her breath. He is dangerous and forbidden, but he is hers.

He is a beautiful soul, so full of love, and a dark fantasy come to life. He is the reason her thighs quiver at night and the reason she cries out for more. He is ecstasy, desire, and love.

He is every heartache and every recovery. He is the safety net that holds her close when the world threatens to consume her. He is the breath of a new day and the reason she smiles each morning.

She had never thought of him as anything else.

He is still the smell of Amortentia.

Except now he is beautiful lies and the broken promises that followed. He is a bad boy who grew into a bad man, whose silver tongue can only weave dark webs, not beautiful spells.

He is the knock at her door, and the authorities standing on her doorstep. He is the ice in her veins and the cause of her heart's skipping beats. He is the reason her world fell apart and the reason she still cries at night.

He is the taste of betrayal lingering on her tongue. He is the reason that she lies awake at night, longing for the past. He is the memory of a decade together—the memory of the future they’d both fought for.

He is the echo of a man she loved so dearly. He is the reminder that even love cannot save people. He is the heartache that brings her to her knees and the smell of roses on their caskets.

He is the cause of waggling tongues and loose lips. He is the reason she gets sympathetic looks every time she enters the room. He is the reason the world is cold, dreary, and oh so dark.

Sirius Orion Black is many things, and she would describe none of them as simple.

He is still the smell of Amortentia.

And she wants nothing to do with him.

#sirius black #sirius black drabble #sirius black imagine #sirius black angst #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #why do i do this to myself

[tanmono]

GILBERT VON OBSIDIAN MAIN ROUTE....

BOTH ENDINGS BONUS.

translations are not 100% accurate. expect mistakes.

trigger warning: mildly suggestive.

minors and ageless blogs dni.

I decided not to love anyone anymore.

I decided not to trust anyone anymore.

I broke that old vow without hesitation.

It was very frightening.

Emma: How is it, Lord Gilbert?

Emma dances in an empty dance hall wearing a jet-black dress that looks like the night sky.

There is no music, no audience, only a dance hall that has lost its former glory,

Emma’s dance was more alive and brighter than the starry sky that covered the windows.

(I don't know what you enjoy so much….) // (I don't know what's so fun about it.)

The dance partner is a sickly man who has been forced to live on a bed for years.

Unlike most of the world's most skilled dancers, I am by no means a good dancer.

Even so, Emma’s smile was bright with joy.

Gilbert: You're getting better than you were the first time.

(When you danced at Rhodolite, it was like you just learned on the spur of the moment….)

Even if she were to join society today, no one would doubt that she was from a commoner family. // Now, if she were to join in a social gathering, no one would suspect that she was a commoner.

Gilbert: Who did you practice with?

Emma:….No one.

Gilbert: Eh— really?

Emma: You already know that, don't you?

Gilbert: I'm being a skeptic man.

Emma: Please rest assured. Since Lord Gilbert always had his eye on me, no one would go out with me.

Gilbert: Ahaha. That's good to hear.

Emma:…..It's not good.

Gilbert: What, you want to dance with another man?

Emma:…….

The eyes that are looking at her with a steady, questioning gaze are passed off with a smile.

She is the only woman who is so undaunted by the royal family, the symbol of terror.

Gilbert: By the way, I won't allow you to go around the place just to show off. It's a big deal if pests come near you.

Emma: Originally, I had no intention of showing off except to Lord Gilbert. // Originally, I was only going to show it to Lord Gilbert.

Emma: And this is...well, a party…to celebrate your recovery.

Gilbert: To celebrate my recovery. If that's the case——

I tugged Emma’s hand and pressed her lips against mine.

Gilbert: Does that mean I can do this too?

Emma:….Of….course.

Not only her face but also her ears turn red, and she kisses me back.

The fact that it is awkward no matter how many times she has done it is a sign that she’s not used to being with men.

I placed my hand on her cheek to chase her lips, which quickly parted, and takes her breath away again.

(…But to be honest, I didn't expect to be loved by you.)

(I thought I was going to die without ever having been involved in love or anything like this.)

(It's truly amazing how a series of coincidences have led us to where we are now——)

Gilbert: Hello, big brother.

Akatsuki: Ah, you're here again, pipsqueak.

The time I spent in the beautiful country of Rhodolite, full of roses and art, was filled with joy.

Among them, I was especially looking forward to the second-hand book market that is held regularly under the blue sky……

I got along especially well with the merchant from Kougyoku(Ruby), who opened his shop almost every time.

Gilbert: Wow...there are a lot of interesting books again this time.

Only his store had so many rare books that I couldn't understand why people were avoiding it.

Akatsuki:…Every time, you only pick up the most difficult books, don't you?

Gilbert: I like academic books from other countries because they contain a lot of things I don't know.

Gilbert: I've read all the books from my country, so it's boring. Oh this book looks interesting——

When I reached out, I bumped into another hand reaching out from the other direction.

Gilbert: Ah….

Blonde boy:……

He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and was clearly an aristocratic boy.

He's a little taller than me, but he's about the same age as me.

Gilbert: Are you interested in this book?

Blonde boy: Yes.

Gilbert: How strange. It's the world's first legal book written in ancient achroite script….

Blonde boy:…I'm surprised anyone else can read this.

He was clearly different. And I instantly knew it.

He, like myself, deserves to be classified as a genius.

Gilbert: Then, shall we read it together?

Gilbert: My name is Gil. And you are?

Blonde boy:……

We went into a nearby back alley and read the book we just bought side by side.

The blonde boy was surprisingly quiet.

Gilbert: I wish you could tell me your name. // You could have at least told me your name.

Blonde boy: We’re not going to get along.

Gilbert: But if we read a book together, that means we're friends.

Blonde boy: What's with that rule?

Gilbert: I just decided. I wanted to be your friend.

Blonde boy: Why?

Gilbert: Because I’m lonely.

Blonde boy:……..

Gilbert: You seem to have no problem making friends like this, so…..I'm never letting you go.

Blonde boy:…..Sighs.

The first friend I made at Rhodolite was a blunt, impertinent boy who honestly didn't seem to be good at socializing.

Still, he is intelligent, and he is willing to engage in discussions that even adults could not come close to.

Every time I met him at a used book market, we would exchange books while reading it together.

Gilbert: I wonder why people with powers are always so corrupted.

At one point, I sat on a barrel in a back alley, closes a thick book on my lap, and uttered a few unrelated words.

This is my impression after reading all the history books of the continent written in ancient languages.

The blonde boy, sitting on the ground with one knee, was listening while reading the book without stopping.

Gilbert: They say continental history is from the nobility, but there are none.

Gilbert: Those who killed their own people to gain the throne, those who cheated other nations to expand their territory, and those who turned a blind eye to the suffering of their people……

Gilbert: Because it has a long history, there should be someone with a benevolent and kind monarch who is equal to everyone.

Gilbert:……No, people like that don't go down in history.

Blonde boy: No wonder.

Blonde boy: In today's society, a monarch who claims to be loving and equal would be the first to be eliminated.

Blonde boy: The one who has seized power will never let go of it again. If there is even a slight disadvantage, they would turn a blind eye.

Blonde boy: I don't know about the pain of others. That is part of human’s nature.

Gilbert: Hmm, I see.

I put my dangling feet on the ground and smiled brightly.

Gilbert: I think human beings are inherently conscientious creatures.

Gilbert: It's the world that makes people greedy, not the people themselves.

At this time, the images of Albert and my mother were in my mind.

The loved ones always lavish their affection on the sickly prince.

If Albert survives the battle, he will take the throne,

I was sure that he would be a king of love and equality.

While knowing that our homeland is a land of deceit and corruption,

I thought people had a conscience and took it for granted.

Blonde boy: According to your theory, there are no real bad people in the world.

Gilbert: Yeah. Because the essence of human beings is love.

Gilbert: The rotten monarchs who spun history could have been kind to others if the world was different.

Blonde boy:...You say very dreamy things, don't you?

Gilbert: It is, but whatever.

Gilbert: I like people.

My friend snickered at me, but at the time I was really thinking about it.

The sickly prince was surrounded by kind people——

Because they didn't know about the real deception and corruption.

Akatsuki: Hey, pipsqueak, what's up? You don't look so happy today.

When I arrived in the land of roses and the four seasons had come and gone, the letters I had received from the home country suddenly stopped.

A sense of foreboding swirls in my heart, and my smile is drawn back into a tight line.

Gilbert:…I think it's time for me to go home. Today is the last time I'll be here.

Akatsuki: I see.

Gilbert: Hey, big brother. Here, I got something for you.

I looked around, made sure no one was near us, and then, I handed him over the pass to Obsidian.

Obsidian, which had strict checkpoints since that time, was a difficult country for outsiders to enter.

An exception to this rule is the passport issued by the royal family, which allows easy entry into the country.

That is how strong the position of the royal family was in the country.

Gilbert: I wonder if you can sneak in and sell some books for me.

Akatsuki:…..All right. I also wanted to visit this country once.

Akatsuki: I promise I'll sell you books.

Gilbert: Thank you. Then, big brother is also my friend.

Akatsuki:….Yeah.

Perhaps the reason I wasn't too surprised when I handed over my Obsidian pass was because I had a vague idea of ​​what was going on.

Akatsuki puts the pass in his pocket and pats my head.

Akatsuki: I know it's a tough country. But....don’t change, pipsqueak.

Akatsuki: If you grow up to be the man you are today, you will become a wise ruler.

Gilbert: I don't know if it’s true....but, thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

Gilbert: ——Today is the last time I'll see you.

Blonde boy:…….

After Akatsuki, I have to bid farewell to the blonde boy.

In the past year, even though we had a fair amount of interaction, nothing had changed, whether it was bluntness or impertinence.

Gilbert: You're so heartless. I can't believe you're not even sad for me.

Blonde boy: You've always been a one-sided talker. // It's probably just that you were always talking one-sidedly.

Gilbert: Well, that's right, but in the end….please tell me at least your name.

Blonde boy: It's a hassle.

Gilbert: Even though we are friends.

Blonde boy: I’m not sure. // I don’t know.

Gilbert: I'm going to cry.

Blonde boy: Then cry.

My first friend sighs in annoyance and hands me an envelope.

Gilbert: What's this?

Blonde boy: You’ve been coughing violently from time to time.

Gilbert:……

Blonde boy: I have a foolish younger brother who gets sick a lot. The doctor has been giving him tea regularly, but he's been sulking.

Gilbert:….I can't believe you’ve been nice to me at the very last minute.

The envelope is even carefully marked with the sender's name.

"Chevalier=Michel"...that seems to be his name.

I knew that, but it's the name of a prince of Rhodolite.

Gilbert: Hehe, thank you.

Gilbert: I'm Gilbert, by the way. Gilbert Kloss.

Chevalier:…."Kloss"….yes…

Gilbert: I hope we can remain friends the next time we meet.

Chevalier: We’ll see about that.

There are no more words for each other——

The exchange with my first friend also ended there.

Gilbert:……Albert…..

Gilbert: Mo….ther….?

The first thing that awaited me upon my return to the land of deceit and corruption was a row of corpses lining the walls.

The two stared into the distance with empty eyes.

The happy and peaceful time in the land of roses crumbled all at once.

Gilbert: Ah——……..

Gilbert:……Aah….AAAAAHH!

━━FLASHBACK━━

Albert: Listen, Gil. I'm on your side no matter what.

Albert: I promise. I won't leave you alone…..okay?

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

Gilbert:…Liar…..

Gilbert:…You Liar….

The sunset stained my eye.

The sunset was like the color of blood.

As I stood frozen like a stone statue in front of this unacceptable reality, a tap on my shoulder came from behind.

He was the patriarchal grandfather of the Kloss family, one of the noblest bloodlines in Obsidian.

Grandfather: Gilbert, I hope you are all right. I'm glad you didn't do anything foolish.

Gilbert: Foolish?

Grandfather: Yes. Of course, those two were against the emperor.

Grandfather: They deserve to die. They’re a disgrace to our family. Gilbert, you're the only one who can't bring any more shame on us.

Gilbert:……

The gentle world shatters into pieces.

And that's how I finally learned about the real world.

Eldest brother: What, you're still alive? You're so stubborn for a sickly man.

Eldest brother: But the brother you loved is dead. There's no one left to protect you now.

Eldest brother: You can't wait to die eventually, but you want to see Albert as soon as possible, don't you?

Eldest brother: He took my idea seriously that if he wanted to stop killing each other, he should give his opinion to the emperor…..

Eldest brother: Ahaha, he’s an idiot. The Kloss family doesn't need weaklings like you guys.

Gilbert:…..Is that all you have to say?

As we passed each other, I stabbed my brother's heart with a knife.

This was the beginning of the trampling beast.

Eldest brother: Y….You…..

Gilbert: What an idiot. We are in the middle of a battle for the throne, aren't we?

Gilbert: The weaklings should disappear quickly from my sight.

Mocking people's deaths and covering up the truth with deception.

There is no one who takes pleasure in oppressing the weak, and there is no one who cares for the weak.

There was a world out there that I could not have known when I was bedridden.

The land of corruption that Albert and my mother hid so well was full of stench and unbearable…..

I killed and killed and killed.

The innocent boy who believed in love found himself killing almost all the members of the royal family,

I have done things that no one with "love" would ever do.

My own heart was false love.

Every time I kill someone, I realize that there is no such thing as love.

Both my mother and Albert betrayed me.

The foolishness of choosing death with the mouth that spun love is truly false love.

Whenever I saw something beautiful, I began to suspect that it was all just a trick of the mind.

The trampling beast has gone as far as it will go.

The emperor: You…..

Gilbert: Ahaha, you fool. I can't believe you fell for such an easy trap.

Then, after 10 years, on the bloodstained rose day.

The Emperor, who had decided to march on Rhodolite, was running across the battlefield,

He used several bribed soldiers to get false information and lure him into a deserted area.

The mad emperor, the root of all evil that caused the brothers to kill each other.

But I kept him alive until this day because I was not strong enough.

The emperor's swordsmanship was so divine that if we tried to interfere, we would be killed.

To kill him, I needed a weapon.

The weapon was finally completed on bloodstained rose day.

Gilbert: If you die, I will be the only member of the Obsidian royal family now, won't I?

I pointed the rifle of my cane at the emperor.

The normally bloodshot eyes of the emperor were somehow calm on this particular day.

Gilbert: I've been working on this weapon without your knowledge.

Gilbert: I am an impotent member of the royal family, so I have to use my cowardice to fight against you, a barbarian…..

Gilbert: Well, no words will ever reach you, so I guess that's enough. Good-bye.

The emperor: ——……As expected, of my red eyed son.

The moment I tried to pull the trigger, my fingers stopped at the words I heard.

Facing his own death, the emperor suddenly clapped his hands in praise.

The emperor: A beast among beasts. Indeed, the future of Obsidian is safe.

The emperor: You are the one who would be the best suited to the bloodstained throne. I have longed for such a successor.

Gilbert:……

The emperor: Come, kill me. And it would be better if the bloodstained country was more blackened by your generation.

The emperor: In the end, you were destined to become a trampling king…..just like me.

The emperor: Haha…..ahahaha!

Gilbert:…….

This time, I pulled the trigger without hesitation.

The emperor's body is thrown back and falls down the cliff.

Deep in the woods, where no one would ever come, became the graveyard of the mad emperor.

Gilbert:…. I see. I was wondering how a crazy emperor like you was born…..

Gilbert: I….guess I went the same way as you. // I….must have followed the same path as you.

I have killed relatives, I have killed nobles, my body has been defiled, my heart has been shattered.

Killing my biological father doesn't make me feel anything, but rather makes me smile.

Anyway, I couldn't stop laughing.

Gilbert: I’ve already….

Gilbert: Gone insane.

━━FLASHBACK━━

Akatsuki: ——There's a girl who recently started coming to my store.

I suddenly remembered a trivial conversation that Akatsuki had with me while he was selling books.

Akatsuki: She's as lovely and adorable as a little rabbit.

Akatsuki: The girl had given candy to a crying boy in front of the store.

Akatsuki: That candy was her reward for helping me.

Akatsuki: She was happy to receive candy, but she gave it to someone else without hesitation.

Akatsuki: Seeing the boy stop crying, she looked even happier than when he received the candy.

Gilbert:….Heeh?

Akatsuki:…I thought she was just like you when you were at Rhodolite.

Akatsuki: She's a beautiful girl with a pure heart, just like you.

Perhaps Akatsuki had noticed.

That the innocent boy's heart has been broken and soiled…..

He may have started talking about her in an attempt to keep me forgetting about my broken heart.

She is a girl from the land of roses, like my former self, who believes in human love and has no doubts.

Every time I hear about her story, I am reminded that there are beautiful people in the world.

Even if I can't believe how beautiful it is….

Even if the child's heart is also false and may change someday anyway….

The "other me"(little rabbit) was my last hope.

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

Gilbert:…Oh well.

I put down the cane and looked up to the sky.

Gilbert: Even if it was an act of madness——

Gilbert: I don’t want her to be trampled by anyone other than me.

Gilbert: ——Now that I think about it, I wonder if it was my first love.

Emma: First love?

After returning to the room from the dance hall, Emma reacts sensitively to the words she accidentally spilled.

Emma: Did you have your first love, Lord Gilbert?

Forgetting that she was completely naked on the bed, she blinked her eyes.

Gilbert: Why are you so surprised?

Emma: Since I came to this castle, I haven’t seen any women hanging around with Lord Gilbert at all, which is surprising…..

Gilbert: Oh, man, I'm a handsome man, too, you know?

Gilbert: I do this kind of thing to you every day.

When I bit into Emma’s soft chest, her delicate body bounced while she was on my lap.

The fingertips that were on my shoulders tightened, and I secretly smiled.

Emma: W—What kind of person were you?

Gilbert: Let’s see….

Gilbert: I won't tell you for free.

Emma:……

(I don't think it's worth asking.)

(….Or maybe I don’t think so myself.)

When I looked into her eyes with a smile, a warm hand was placed on my cheek as she kissed me.

As she repeatedly nibbled over and over again to transfer heat to my cold lips, I felt more frustration than satisfaction.

Gilbert: Hey, are you doing this on purpose?

Emma: What…do you mean?

Gilbert: More like….this?

I put my finger in her mouth and lightly stroked her tongue, and she seemed to understand what I meant.

She nodded with a bright red face and kissed me again, deeper than before.

Her tongue was entwined with mine in a stuttering manner, and I felt the heat circulate not only through my lips but also through my fingertips.

As I teased her heat with my fingertips, and suddenly our kisses turned sloppy.

Emma: Haa…..nn——

Gilbert: That was close.

Emma:….It wasn’t good….?

Gilbert: Yeah, you got comfortable first. // Yeah, you made me feel good first.

I bit down Emma’s neck, which covers her face with both hands, and then leaves bite marks on her shoulder and chest.

Sometimes sucking on the skin and adding long-lasting marks.

The remnants of daily lovemaking pile up, and Emma is full of marks now.

Gilbert: Hehe…how pitiful.

When I kissed her to caress the marks, the hand that was holding my shoulder trembled.

Emma: If that's how you feel, then go easy on me.

Gilbert: I can't go easy on loving you.

Emma:…It's not fair.

Gilbert: I've only ever done this to you, by the way.

Emma:….Really?

Gilbert: Yes. I’m all for you.

Gilbert: I just wondered if this moment was my first love.

When I confess, Emma freezes for a few seconds and then lightly taps me on the shoulder.

Emma: Was it me….?

Gilbert: Yes. My first love is strong, isn’t she?

(Whenever I told Walter about the girl Akatsuki told me about, he would always ask if she was my first love….)

(….Yeah i might have loved her.)

I hate pure things because you never know when they will get dirty.

But at the same time, it reminds me of how I felt when I loved someone.

Akatsuki has told me about the little rabbit over the years…..

She showed no signs of changing, but I somehow developed a liking for her.

(Even if I forced myself, I wanted to see you at the end….)

(Maybe it's because I wanted confirmation that "no matter what happens, it won't get dirty.")

The "Last Judgment" was not intended to see if a compromise could be reached through communication.

If she doesn't change no matter what happens, then I think the essence of human nature is still love…..

I just wanted to do such a final struggle.

(….Actually, I was thinking about just watching over.)

(I had already sowed the seeds of malice in Benitoite and Jade….)

(By watching her face them, I was able to make the final judgment.)

But...in the end, I didn't.

There was no way I could hold back in front of Emma, whom I had admired for so long.

(I ruined her peaceful life for my own personal reasons….)

Gilbert:…Hey, Emma.

I inserted my fingers between her legs and asked her while she’s writhing.

Gilbert: Am I crazy?

Emma:……

(No, I don't even have to ask.)

Gilbert:…..Sorry, just forget about it.

Gilbert: If I’m not crazy, then who——

Emma: I….don’t like crazy people.

(…….)

Emma: You’re troublesome, difficult, jealous, and you do bad things without a care in the world….

Emma:….Never have I ever thought you were crazy.

I was hugged tightly around my head.

(….After I've killed so many people.)

(…….)

(Ah, but...I see. There is only one difference between the mad emperor and me.)

Gilbert: Because you were there for me.

The emperor loved no one as much as he loved himself.

But I decided to love again at the very end of my life. // But I decided to love again in my last moments.

The presence of the little rabbit, brought to me by Akatsuki, has connected our hearts,

Perhaps that’s the way of rebuilding my broken heart now.

Gilbert:….Don't go anywhere.

Our bodies flushed together.

When I hold her slim waist close to me, her sweet breath and voice stir my ears.

Gilbert: And you can't die before I do, okay?

(….I feel hot….)

I took off my shirt and hold Emma again.

At the time, the scars from the treatment were not very good to show, but now it's healed properly.

Emma: Aah…Lord Gilbert…please live…a long life.

Emma: I…would be lonely….without you.

(….I know.)

(Loneliness is a disgusting thing.)

(….It's an emotion she shouldn't have to experience as beautiful as she is.)

Gilbert: How bad has it gotten for the little rabbit to ask such a favor from the evil emperor?

(I thought the blood of the royal family should be eradicated….but like any human being, I got greedy.)

Because it is a wish that is contrary to ambition, I laugh bitterly at what to do.

(But……we'll figure that out later.)

Now I have another desire.

(To be honest, I'm still afraid to trust her…..)

(At the end of my life, I wanted to love her.)

(….That's all.)

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikemen ouji #ikemen prince spoilers #ikepri jp #ikemen gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikepri gilbert #ikepri translations #ikemen series #cybird

[missathlete31]

So I’ve been talking to numerous amazing blogs on here about how one of the weakest parts of the Top Gun Maverick storyline is that Bradley stopped talking to Mav for 15 YEARS because he pulled his academy papers. Meanwhile Bradley went on to still be a pilot, and one of the best ones in the entire Navy at that. (Even though in my opinion he was too emotional compromised to even be considered for the mission and his breakdown in the sky when he needed a pep talk could have resulted in Payback and Fanboy both dying- but let’s not get into that 😉)

Anyway, the writers dropped the ball in my mind on that storyline so I’ve come up with three alternative scenarios of angst that could have been why these two men were no longer in each others lives:

1) As Bradley gets older and realizes what actually happened to his father, he gets angry at Mav for still flying. It could be that he finds it insulting to Gooses memory or even that it takes Pete away from Bradley who looks to him as a father figure. Basically a “you don’t love me enough to give up flying” type of situation.

2) To continue with the movie’s blame Carole Bradshaw thinking, what if Mav gets into a bad accident during a mission and almost dies. The Bradshaws are listed as his emergency contact and Carole comes running, spending days waiting to hear if Pete will pull through. Finally when he is on the road to recovery, Carole tells Mav that it isn’t fair he put them through this, all three of them having flashbacks to when Goose was killed. Carole asks Maverick to stop flying but he can’t, it’s who he is. Since he won’t agree, she tells him that he can’t see Bradley anymore. Pete accepts that but nobody tells Bradley the true reason and he thinks Maverick abandoned him and his mom after everything.

3) Bradley originally applies to flight school as a WSO, all in the hopes of getting to fly backseat to Pete Maverick Mitchell. Unfortunately right before he is about to go, Mav informs him that he won’t fly with him refusing to take another Bradshaw into danger like that. However, because Pete can’t communicate well, he makes it seem like he doesn’t trust Bradley to fly with him, as opposed to the other way around. Bradley is hurt, and switched to pilot to spite his Godfather, though it’s too late to reapply and he is forced to wait until the next class, thus setting him back.

So what do we think? Any of these seem more plausible?

#top gun maverick #pete maverick mitchell #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #pete mitchell #poor maverick #he doesn’t deserve the things Bradley said to him #bradley was the true antagonist

[spicerackofblorbos]

Chapter 3: January

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse (to be continued as writing is ongoing)

☾ Author's note ➼ Hey guys! I'm so proud of myself for getting this out before the end of January hehe. I hope you enjoy!

☾ Word Count ➼ ~7.5k

January, you thought, had to be one of the most depressing months out of the twelve. It’s cold, dreary, and full of post-holiday blues. The gloom that came with those blues was only intensified by the immediate and prominent holiday of “Remembrance Day”, a cultural holiday created to celebrate and mourn those who have long passed.  

‘I don’t know why we can’t just stay home and celebrate privately like we usually do. It might be crowded.’ You sign outwardly to your sister as she drives, making sure to go slow so she can see through intermittent glances. You stare out ahead as the snowy landscape zooms past. The late afternoon sun glints off the fresh snow, blinding you as the light refracts off the crystals.  

When you were younger, this annual holiday was something you used to ignore. Even at a young age, you were aware of the situation you were forced into. You lost everything and then were thrust right into the foster care system, tossed in with families who didn’t want you. You had to do it all alone and because of that, you never learned how to grieve properly. It wasn’t until Hange’s family, your family, took you in that you were taught how to deal with your past and the residual effects that came with it.  

Hange tuts at you as they turn a sharp corner.  

“Hey, you’re the one who said you’d be okay with it this year. And besides, maybe this town is full of early morning mourners. The temple could be all ours.” They speculate aloud, wiggling their eyebrows at you. It just prompts a signature eyeroll, and you stare back out the window. The residential homes turn into office buildings as the two of you make it closer to the designated temple in town. It’s not much longer until they turn down a gravel road, pebbles and snow crunching under the heavy wheels. 

Busy is an understatement. Due to the small nature of the town, only one temple exists, and it sits in the middle of the local cemetery.  When your sister pulls into a dirt parking lot, you notice the multitude of cars already vacant of people who are milling around the grounds. A bubble of anxiety threatens to rise in you, but you swallow it down. You and Hange step out of the car and are met with a brisk wind; It makes all the air in your lungs escape from shock. When you take deep breaths to calm your heart down, puffs of hot steam billow out from your mouth. Hange locks the car behind them and turns to you with their hand out.  

“Well, c’mon, my little berry. Those votives aren’t going to light themselves.”  

You take her hand without hesitation and you both set forth up the hill. You are at a loss for words because of how stunning your surroundings are. Leafless trees remain stoic and strong under a layer of snow. They pepper around the ample lot, giving off shadows of tree branches everywhere. Up a dirt path rests a sizable temple with a dark blue exterior and a wrapping porch around the building that offer various access points to the inside. On the edges of the dirt path lie smaller stone paths leading to rows and columns of personal gravesites for the residents of Jinae. The winter sun beams down between fluffy clouds, warming up the air as the day goes on. It was melancholic in a way that fit the day of Remembrance perfectly.   

Fortunately for you, most of the crowd was at their family stones, so the trek up to the temple took little to no time at all. This is where the designated altar is set for those who wish to pay their respects but had no tombstone to do so at. It’s the first time since your teen years that you've prayed outside of your home. When the Zoë’s took you in, they explained many of the traditions to you that you were in the dark about due to your lackluster upbringing. Remembrance Day was one of those and on paper it sounded great, until they took you out to the temple the following January and you had flipped out from the candles. You were a little better about it nowadays, but you requested shrines at home with electronic votives from then on.   

After stepping through the open doorway, you note only a handful of people lingering at the altar, lighting green candles and bowing their heads in prayer. You avert your gaze quickly from the bright flames, looking anywhere else. It was relatively quiet, bar for a few whispers here and there. You and Hange step in line behind an older couple, who are now turning towards you to leave. Tears streak down their faces as they head in the direction of the doors behind you. You bow to them in respect, as they do to you in return. The two of you step up onto the ledge and Hange takes the match sticks from the table. She gingerly holds out a stick for you to take as she regards you carefully. 

“Did you want to try it this year?” They grab your hand with theirs, looking into your eyes closely. 

You take a deep breath and raise your hand as if to take it, but it falters. Something sears in the back of your mind. Letting your hand flop to the side, you shake your head and sigh heavily. She just gives you a soft smile and squeezes your hand in reassurance. 

“That’s okay, Love. I’ll take care of it for you. Just close your eyes and think of them.”  

So, you do and reminisce about your lost family. There were so many memories you were still unable to recover from all those years ago. So, you opt to think of your parents' soft smiles and gentle hugs. Of an older brother that you think had a mischievous grin. You focus on the overall warmth you associated with them, feeling that warmth curl into your toes. You hear your sister strike the match and then she blows it out just as quickly. You were never saddened by these thoughts, even in your younger years. Hange often wondered if this was due to a detachment of your own making. You open your eyes after a moment and flinch back from the sight of the votive right in front you, flames flickering. 

“Let’s get going.” Hange hadn’t let go of your hand this whole time and she uses that to pull you away quickly out of the side door. Even though it’s cold, you feel miles better outside and you let loose a breath as if you had held it in the whole time. You wonder when you’ll be able to withstand being so close to fire again; you think maybe you never will. A sudden flash of black hair whipping around the corner of the temple catches your eye and you whip your head around to stare at the now empty space.  

“Is something wrong?” Hange squeezes your hand again, and you turn back to look at them to shake your head ‘no’. Some part of you hope it was him. You haven’t seen Levi since the whole debacle at the gala last month. He never made any attempt to reach out to you. Truthfully, you didn’t expect that from him anyways, but it irritated you to no end at the time. Your sister had pushed you to go to the café at least once to just say ‘hi’ because they could see how much it bothered you, however you refused to budge.   

“Then let’s go sight-seeing. I want to see how the people of Jinae celebrate their loved ones before heading out.” The two of you head back down the hill, the cold wind biting at your nose. At some point, Hange turns down a nearly empty path. The stones ahead were covered with a wide assortment of flowers in various colors. People had also put offerings of their loved one's favorite foods out at the base of the stones. It makes you smile at how loved these people are even past their time.  

Hange leads you around for half an hour, taking in the sights of the different offerings and gifts laid about. She points and grins as she mumbles things to you, but you’re not really paying her ramblings any mind. You find that nodding in response was enough to get them to turn back around and jaunt off somewhere else. Another fifteen minutes later, and their rumbling stomach is so loud you can’t help but laugh. You now realize why she’s staring so heavily at a plate of cold dumplings left on a headstone. You reach for her shirt and tug on it to get her attention. 

“What’s up?” They twirl around on you with worry. 

‘Want to go get some dinner?’  

“We probably should, shouldn’t we. Sorry, I’ve just been so engrossed in all of these displays!” She points to one right next to you. It’s littered with quite a few child’s drawings taped to the stone. A plate of cookies sat at the base of it with a steaming cup of coffee right next to it. The family must have just been here. When you look back up to meet Hange’s gaze, she’s staring at something behind you with an amused expression.  

You turn to see what she’s gawking at, and you spot a familiar raven-haired man. He’s standing next to a not-so-familiar messy blonde-haired man around the same age that is currently kneeling on the ground as he places a plate of something on the stone in front of him. The one standing darts his eyes in your direction and there’s no mistaking it; It’s Levi. Panicking, you whirl your head back around to face Hange and she’s smirking. You attempt to step forward to pass your sister, but she just grips your arm firmly and starts tugging you in Levi’s direction.  

Oh no, oh no, oh no. 

You try your best to wiggle out of the grip but it’s of no use, she’s latched on to you. After a few more futile attempts, you give up with a huge huff. You don’t even turn around, you just let them drag you along.  

“Levi, what a pleasant surprise!” Hange yells out to him as they close the distance, you still in tow. 

When they stop abruptly, you almost bump into them. You avert your gaze as far away as possible and turn around slowly. A family of four passes by in silence on the path next to you, a little girl with pigtails flings around a stuffed rabbit as she trots along.  

“Tch, I don’t see how this is a surprise, Four-Eyes. The whole town is practically here.” You hear Levi’s gruff voice respond back. It makes your stomach flutter with anxiety, but you’re not sure if it’s a good or bad kind of anxiety. There’s a ringing silence that follows after, but you can’t be brought to look up. That is, until someone clears their throat. 

“Uh, hi! I’m Furlan, Levi’s friend! It’s nice to meet you...?” He trails off. The voice is boyish and playful, and very different from the man next to him. You glance up to the source and the dirty-blonde haired man is looking between your sister and you with gray eyes. Not as deep and metallic as Levi’s though, they were much softer and lighter.  

“Hi! I’m Hange Zoë, and this is my sister!” She lets go of you to throw her arms around you as she squishes your face with hers. You feel warmth creep through your whole body from embarrassment and it makes you want to run away. “She’s hearing but she’s mute and speaks through sign language mainly. I’ll translate for you for the sake of brevity, though. Unless you already know it?” Your sister releases you to meet Furlan’s outstretched hand with hers and shakes it vigorously. The man laughs, and it’s a light airy sound.  

“I don't unfortunately. But it’s nice to meet you both!” He waves to you with a wide grin, and you give a small wave back. Furlan continues, “I see you know Levi.” You chance a look at Levi and he’s staring straight at you. Your eyes shoot back to his friend.  

“Well, ‘know’ is an understatement. He’s not very forthcoming about his life unlike his roommate. Uh, Erwin and I became close after a very unfortunate relationship mishap.” Your sister chuckles at her dark joke.  

“Ah! I thought I recognized your name! Erwin mentions you in passing a lot. And, well, that’s Levi for you. I had a hard time getting to know him when we first met.”  

“You idiots know I’m here, right? And that’s because you were trying to beat me up, asshole.” Levi’s terse tone cuts in, shooting daggers at his friend. Furlan just laughs again, loudly, and raises his hands in defense. Hange nudges you gently with her elbow and you glare at her, but the look in her eyes makes you nervous.  

Winking at you, she grabs her phone and yells, “Oh jeez, hold on a second. Someone from the lab is calling, it must be about last night's reports.” and starts to walk away. You hold on to her hand for dear life with your mouth wide open in protest, but she pulls away with a flourish. “I’ll just be a moment!” And then she’s gone.  

You stare down at your empty hand and then back up to the two men in front of you, pressing your lips into a thin line as you clench your jaw. ‘Fuck.’ you think to yourself. Tapping your foot impatiently, you also fold your arms across your chest. You keep your gaze averted from them, but you still feel Levi’s stare aimed directly at you. Finally, Furlan clears his throat again.  

“Did you two kill each other’s cats or something? Jeez.” Levi clicks his tongue at the same time as you roll your eyes.  

“Sure, if that’s what you want to think.” Levi retorts dryly. A heavy huff escapes your mouth as you fiddle with your jacket sleeve, foot tapping even faster. Another silence. Furlan examines your face closely and looks back at Levi in thought. If you were looking at him, you would have noticed a lightbulb go off in his head. 

“Wait wait wait! Is this the girl you were talking about a while back?” That makes your eyes fly to Furlan’s and you can’t keep the shock from filling your face. He talked about me?  

Without even waiting for an answer, he states, “So I heard you like colors.” You feel a blush start to seep up into your cheeks and you look away again, shrugging. Levi kicks Furlan in the shins and he doesn’t even react in pain.  

 “Wow, it’s super nice to meet you then. This guy would not stop talking about you aft-” Levi kicks Furlan in his other shin and it must have hurt this time because he winces.  

“Furlan, shut up.” Levi scolds. 

“Is that an order?” Furlan smirks as he leans down to rub the now sore spot. 

You’re not even listening to their bickering; your mind was going a million miles a minute. Levi had talked about you to other people. Were they good or bad things? And why did he have to mention your issues with picking a favorite color? You chide yourself for being willingly open about such silly things with Levi after just meeting him. You reach for your phone so you can say something but then are cut off by Hange coming up from behind you noisily. 

“Sorry about that! What are we talking about?” Hange rests her chin on your shoulder and stares at the two friends.  

“It’s nothing, we were just about to go.” Levi replies coolly as he starts to turn away to leave. He must still be mad at you, you think. Irritation itches at your skull again, but something in your heart aches. 

“Wait! ‘We’? Where’s Erwin? It’s weird to see you without him, Levi.”   

“Oh, he’s currently back at their apartment cooking dinner for us. He came out to show his respects early this morning.” Furlan cuts in before Levi can say anything. 

“Sounds great, we’re in.” You stare at your sister in horror before shoving your hands in their face. 

‘No, we’re not!’   

“Oh uh, I don’t know if Erwin...” Furlan trails off as Hange just chuckles and waves her hand dismissively. Then she pulls out her phone to check something before shoving it right back into her coat pocket.  

“Erwin doesn’t mind, he said so.”  

‘We are not going!’ You’re practically flinging your hands at her face, but she just gives you her puppy-dog stare. 

“But I’m so hungry! And he’s fine with it. Plus, a homecooked meal! It’s so much better than fast food!” Hange whines. 

‘I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work.’ Her face pouts even more, which you didn’t think was even possible. ‘You’re the worst. Fine!’ You stick your tongue out at her as you stomp your foot for good measure and her whole face lights up in response. 

“Well, I’m not fine with it.” Levi shoots back, eyes narrowed at the two of you.  

“Oh, c’mon Levi. Miche’s already going and Erwin said it’s fine. The more the merrier.” Furlan grabs Levi’s arm to keep him from leaving. Your sister whips her head to stare at Furlan in surprise. 

“Miche’s going?! What the hell, and Erwin didn’t even invite me!?” She yells. 

“Tch, fine, do whatever you want. I don’t care. Furlan, we have one more stop, let’s go.” Levi stomps off in the opposite direction, leaving the atmosphere 10 degrees colder.   

“We’ll meet you there. We have one more grave to look at but then we’ll be on our way.” Furlan nods to the two of you and gives you a warm smile before darting off after Levi. You exhale a big breath and round on Hange, not even sure what to say. There’s a mischievous glimmer to her eye and you regret leaving the house at all.  

When Levi and Furlan are out of earshot, Furlan knocks his shoulders in Levi’s and smirks.  

“Isabel would have liked her, don’t you think?”  

Levi says nothing back, but he can’t help but agree. It’s been 10 years, but his chest still tightens at the thought of Isabel. He pulls out the bag that had sat tucked into his jacket pocket, holding the slice of vanilla cake he made for his fallen friend. 

.

Erwin and Levi’s apartment is immaculate. Years of cleaning after Hange had given you the confidence to say you were a tidy person. But after seeing their apartment, you felt like an amateur at best. Even the air felt fresh, albeit it was filled with the smells of cooking dishes. Light tones filled the whole room, broken by the occasional pop of color. There was plenty of white as well, so you know Levi had a lot to say when it came to decorating the place.  

“Wow Erwin, your place is so clean!” Hange mutters as she pads around the whole living room. Erwin and his friend Miche were both in the kitchen working over separate pots. Miche was a very strange man, much stranger than Levi for sure. The second you stepped into the apartment, he took a huge whiff of you and grunted. Hange and Erwin chuckled and reassured you that it was normal, but you were still freaked out. If Miche had a problem with your smell, he didn’t say so. 

“You can thank Levi for that, mostly. He likes to clean.” Erwin calls out. You knew that of course, thinking back to that fateful night at the bar.  

You decided to make yourself at home, curling up at the end of their 3-person couch. Pinks and oranges begin to filter into the room as the sun starts to set. You stare out of their balcony door that overlooks part of the downtown area. They were so close to their café, and you wonder if they had chosen the café location just because of that. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t invite me tonight, Erwin!” Hange whines as she leans over the island to see what Erwin was working on. He swats at her to back up and she does so with her glasses fogged up from the steam. 

“I already told you. I invited you a couple weeks ago, but it seems to me you weren’t listening to me then. I think you were going off about some lab report that frustrated you.”  

“Oh yeah. Okay that’s totally fair and on me. You should have reminded me at least!”  

Miche comes over to you with a small plate of some raw vegetables for you to snack on. You take it while smiling at him gratefully, and he just nods before heading back into the kitchen. He had already known you weren’t verbal before you walked in the door, you guess Erwin had told him. Apparently Miche and Erwin were friends for a long time before Levi came into the picture. Just by watching them in the kitchen, you can tell that they worked very well together without having to say a word. 

After gingerly placing your empty plate down on the coffee table in front of you, you stand, stretching your limbs with a big yawn. If you sat for any longer on that soft sofa, you figured you might fall asleep. So, you shuffle your way towards the kitchen, making sure to pick up your plate as you do. Miche takes it from you without saying a word and you wonder if he had a hard time speaking growing up or if it was a conscious decision not to say much. Regardless, you sign a quick thanks then turn to Erwin, who was in the process of mincing some sort of herb.  

‘Where is your bathroom?’  

“Down the hall, it’s the door at the very end.” He slaps Hange’s hand as she’s reaching for a dinner roll over the counter. You smack her in the head on your way past and she just blows a raspberry at you.  

You take your time going down the hallway because your eyes are distracted by various photographs framed on the walls. There weren’t any family photos of either of the two, but plenty of random friends throughout the years. There were a couple of Erwin when he was younger, maybe in grade school, with a few friends hanging around him. You think you spot a young Miche with him in one of the photos.

That must mean they’ve been good friends for more than 15 or so years. There’s another picture frame of Erwin and Levi in graduation gowns holding up diplomas, college you think. Erwin has a huge grin showing off his pearly whites and his arm is propped up, leaning on a short-statured Levi. Levi’s not even looking at the camera, electing to look off to the side with a scowl stuck to his face. That checks out, you think to yourself.  

You look closely at the one at the very end of the hallway and you notice it’s another photo of Levi. It’s a picture of him and two other people, Furlan being one of them. They’re all pretty young looking in this, but the girl in the middle who had her arms wrapped around the other two looked even younger. She has the brightest, widest green eyes you’ve ever seen. Her red hair is choppy and pulled into low pigtails and a large grin plasters her face. Furlan’s to her left, and he’s looking over to the other two contentedly. Levi is on her right and he’s looking away like he always does, but an actual small smile seemed to pull at the corners of his lips. You also note that this was before whatever accident fell upon him as his scars were missing. They look very happy.  

“That’s our friend, Isabel.” Someone mutters softly next to you. You squeak as you jump back, punching into the space where the voice came from. Something catches your fist before it makes an impact. Turning, you see it’s Furlan, holding up your fist in his hand. Panicking, you pull your arm back out of his grip and step back. He stifles a laugh. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just needed to use the bathroom but saw you standing here staring at the wall.” Furlan rubs the back of his neck and glances up at the picture, a wistful smile appearing on his face. Wording a voiceless apology with your lips, you back up into the wall so he can scoot past you to the bathroom. He thanks you before slipping into the room and clicking the door behind him. You take a deep breath and head back to the kitchen, your trip to the bathroom forgotten.  

When you emerge from the hallway, the sounds of clinking glasses and heavy plates can be heard from the dining room. Not really sure where to sit, you go to stand by the table as Erwin and Hange set it. Miche comes over to place a bowl of the dinner rolls that your sister was eyeballing earlier, and he points to one of the chairs against the wall for you. Again, he seemingly knew what you were thinking. At this point, you’re convinced that he knows how to read minds.   

You plop yourself down as your sister does the same next to you. She starts pouring wine into the glasses around the table, save for your own; she hands you a soda can and you bump her shoulder with a smile. Furlan comes back from the bathroom just as Erwin and Miche take their seats. Steaming plates of delicious foods consisting of a spiced chicken dish, baked asparagus, smashed potatoes, and sweet carrots lay around just waiting to be served.  

‘You really know how to serve a feast.’ You sign to Erwin with a wide smile. 

“Well, it’s not all just me. Miche makes a great sous chef.” He jokes. 

“Hey, where’d the grump run off to?” Hange inquires as they take a sip of their white wine. 

“The grump is right here, tch.” a voice cuts in.  

Glancing up, you see Levi drying his head with a towel as he makes his way to the table, water droplets falling from his hair down onto the gray long sleeve he had on. After folding the wet towel and placing it on a table behind the couch, he pulls the chair out across from you and sits down with a small huff. You both lock eyes for a second before looking away.  

“What are we waiting for? I’m dying over here!” Hange starts plating up without waiting for a response. She starts to help you too, but you just grab the serving utensils from her hands and huff at her. She playfully slaps your arm but starts digging in. Erwin had thrown on some background music before sitting down, so soft jazz reverberated off the walls mixing in with the bustle of plates being filled.  

“So, Hange, what do you do?” Furlan pipes up after a few minutes, tearing a roll up with his fingers.  

“I work at Titan Labs, head researcher and what not. I’m working on ways to create zombies!” She cackles and takes another spoonful of her potatoes. The look on Furlan’s face was priceless and he stared at Levi and Erwin for confirmation.  

“They’re just kidding, Furlan. They work with curing viruses, at least that’s what I’m told. Hange you can’t just go around saying stuff like that.” Erwin scolds and Hange just grins. 

“Oh uh. Okay. I guess that’s a little better.”  

‘My sister can be a little overzealous and crazy sometimes.’ You sign to Furlan and Hange just grabs her heart dramatically.  

“Pft, I’m not that crazy.” That's all she says before diving back into her chicken, paying the rest of you no mind.  

“There’s nothing wrong with crazy. Just try not to get us killed, okay?” He laughs a little and winks at you. Feeling your face flush, you let your eyes roam over to Levi’s. His gaze flickers to yours briefly, but he just takes a swig of his wine and peers out the window. The evening sky was clear, and the stars had started to come out.  

The rest of the meal was filled with mindless chatter that you observed happily. Erwin and Miche had roped Hange into some sort of debate, so them translating for you was a little difficult. Luckily, Furlan understood and was fine being the only one talking as Levi just ate in silence. You listen intently but your mind wandered to Levi occasionally, wondering what he was thinking as he delicately cut into his food. Furlan got to a point where he picked up on asking you yes or no questions for the sake of the language barrier and lack of interpreter. It was hard not to smile at his warmth, and you’re open to all of his questions easily. The flush on your face does not disappear the whole meal. 

With stuffed bellies and sleepy minds, everyone decides to leave the table and move into the living room to wind down. All except for Furlan, who had said he had an early shift the next morning and needed to leave before he ended up staying all night. Hange, Erwin, and Miche were murmuring together with intermittent laughs about something random. Levi just sat in a chair in the corner of the room scrolling on his phone and not paying any attention to his surroundings. That left you to juggle between staring at the TV and checking your phone every once in a while.  

A couple moments later, there’s a scratch of a chair against the floor as Levi gets up from his spot. He slips out of the balcony door with a blast of cold air before closing it shut behind him. You can see his puffs of hot air as he stands, leaning against the rail with his back to you.

As you’re staring, you feel someone tap your shoulder and when you turn to see the source of it, you’re surprised to find its Erwin. Crystal blue eyes stare back at you and then they flicker over to where Levi stood. He says nothing else and sits back down in his spot like nothing happened. Hange gives you a supportive wink and goes back to her conversation with the two men.  

Ugh.

You stand up and pull on your jacket that you had slung over the backside of the couch hours ago. Zipping it up, you take a deep breath before sliding the door open and forcing yourself into the cold. Levi does nothing to acknowledge you, he just stands stoically looking up at the stars. You tighten your jacket around you and stand awkwardly behind him, shifting from one foot to the other as you consider what to say.

As you feel the winter air nipping at your skin, you exhale softly and pull your phone out to type out a message. It takes you a few minutes of typing and deleting repeatedly, but Levi says and does nothing as he waits, hearing the clicks of the letters coming out of the speakers. 

‘I’m sorry. For exploding on you last month. I threw my anger at you when really, I was angry at myself. It wasn’t nice or warranted and I apologize.’ You shuffle up next to him and hand him your phone carefully. He takes it from your cold hands, his own brushing against yours and they’re surprisingly warm. You see his eyes slide over the words, face bright from the phone light in contrast with the dark night.   

He rolls his silver eyes and just scoffs. He doesn’t say anything, and you fidget with your phone. When it was clear he had nothing to say, you fight the urge to turn around and leave. You glance behind you and see Erwin and Miche doing a bad job pretending not to stare at you and Levi. Hange, on the other hand, gives you a big smile and a thumbs up. You swallow hard and type out another message.   

‘Are you mad at me still?’ 

“Still?” He stares up at you in confusion then slight guilt. “I- look, I was never mad at you. It’s just...” He runs his fingers through his hair to push it back, and you spot a few piercings climbing up his ear that you didn’t notice before. They glint off the full moon which sits high in the sky. He takes a deep breath and looks away from you.  

“Okay, I was a little mad at first. But I’m clearly not anymore.” He mumbles.  

‘Clearly.’  

“I know I can come off rude and cold but it’s just... Shit!” He grips the rail so hard that his knuckles turn white. “I’m not mad at you, and I haven’t been for a couple weeks. I just- I felt awkward after the whole thing and I didn’t know how to talk to you. Plus, you know, I thought you were mad at me. So. You have nothing to apologize for. And, here,” he grabs your phone that you loosely held and starts moving around apps, pressing random buttons as he goes.

Then he hands it back to you with a side eye, opting to stare back out to the moon as he spoke. “I don’t want to throw your phone off the balcony so from here on out, just directly text me and I’ll respond.”  

When you look down at your phone, your mouth opens slightly in awe. Your phone screen displays a newly made contact page for “Levi Ackerman”. So formal, you think. Clicking the message icon, you type out a little text to him with shaky hands. You’re not sure if it’s from the excitement or the cold. 

'Hi' 

You hear his phone ‘ping’ and he pulls it out of his back pocket.  

“We’re great with words, aren’t we.” he says with a smile playing on his lips.  

‘I’m glad you’re not mad at me. I’m still sorry for last month though.’  

“It’s fine, but thanks anyways.”  

Like a breath of fresh air, a comfortable silence falls on the two of you. You lean forward against the rail and stare down to the ground. Levi and Erwin’s apartment rests on the third floor so there was quite a drop. The yellow glow of streetlights reflected off the snow that was piled on the sides of the road. You shiver as a gust of wind blows through your hair, so you pull your hood up for extra warmth. Against your better judgement, you shoot him another text with something that’s been itching at you all night.  

‘Who’s Isabel?’ You watch him carefully.  

When he eyes the text, the small upturn to his lips disappears and he freezes for a moment. His hand grips his phone a little tighter as he sighs heavily. Exhausted. The circles under his eyes seemingly darker. He hangs his head down, giving you another side-eye between his raven locks as he starts speaking in almost a whisper.  

“She was one of my best friends. Well, Furlan and I’s. We all, uh, grew up together.” Levi swallows hard.  

‘What happened?’  

His body tenses up once more and you worry for a moment that he might get defensive, but he just grips the rail tightly in both hands again. 

“I used to ride motorcycles. I suppose you wouldn’t know that.” You shake your head at him, and he just purses his lips. “Yeah... well. Isabel had this annoying habit of wanting to go everywhere with us but she wouldn’t get her own license so she would ride on the back of Furlan and I’s bikes...” He shifts uncomfortably and leans forward over the rail, looking down at the ground.  

“Well one day, my uh, relative, was having complications at the hospital in town and I needed to get there fast. And of course, she wanted to tag along. I didn’t have time to fight with her, so I let her on with me. But...” You reach out to try and touch his arm in reassurance, but Levi jumps at the close proximity, and you pull back quickly. Mouthing a ‘sorry’, you shove your hands in your pockets. 

“You’re... fine. It’s fine.” He pushes off from the rail and folds his arms across his chest and stands up straight. “It was raining that day, and I was being careless. I was so caught up in where I was going, I didn’t take the time to be cautious of my surroundings. I don’t remember much but we ended up skidding off the road. I woke up in the hospital with this,” Levi raises the hand that was missing his index and middle finger and then he points to his scars. “And no Isabel.” 

You have no words. Even if you weren’t mute, you wouldn’t know what to say to him. You notice in the time that you’ve known him, you haven’t seen him ride before, nor have you even seen a bike in his vicinity. So that alone was a surprise. But another thought scratched at you. Something about his demeanor right now screamed guilt. Did he still blame himself for Isabel’s death?  

“I went to go celebrate her today with Furlan. She always had a thing for sweets.” He mumbles, looking a little more relaxed. He has a faraway look in his eyes.  

‘What was she like?’ His eyes shift to yours, now soft.  

“You remind me a lot of her, actually. Stubborn. Happy.” Levi huffs, but you could have sworn it was a little laugh. 

‘You’re pretty stubborn yourself, you know.’ He just rolls his eyes again at you but says nothing else. ‘I think it’s great that you’re celebrating her life. She sounds wonderful. Thank you for sharing that with me.’ You offer him a slight smile and his lips twitch at you in return. He puts one of his hands in his pocket, making sure to keep his phone out with the other as he spoke. 

“Who were you and Hange celebrating today? I saw you two at the temple earlier.”  

‘Are you creeping on us or something?’ You smirk at him teasingly and his already rosy cheeks turn a darker shade.  

“Tch, no. I just passed by, is all.”  

‘It’s okay Levi, I get it. We’re that fascinating lol. She was there for her grandparents.’ You fidget with your phone in between numb fingers. It was really starting to get cold, and you weren’t sure how much longer you’d be able to stay out on the patio. But you didn’t want to leave just yet. 

“So, you’re not celebrating anyone today?” His innocent question makes you pause. It was your turn to look away, staring at the twinkling stars above. You suddenly feel small, like the universe was too big for you. Biting your bottom lip, you start to type away.  

‘Yeah, I have. I lost my parents and brother when I was around six or so. I don’t remember much but there was a big fire, and I was the only survivor. I am not a big fan of fire now.’ Silence ensues for a few minutes as Levi digests what you texted him. Your hands mindlessly trace the scars that trailed up your left arm from that disastrous night. 

“I’m really sorry to hear about that.” He says, finally. 

‘Oh, it’s fine now. It was so long ago. Hange’s family took me in after 8 years in the foster system, and now I’m stuck with her.’ You give him a meek grin and point behind you. He’s watching your face carefully. 

“I’m sure there are worse families to be stuck with.” Levi jokes quietly.  

You have no idea, you think to yourself. The thought of the households you lived in prior to the Zoë’s makes you cringe a bit. Memories of being left behind, small cupboard-like rooms, and physically abusive foster parents swirl through your brain. You close your eyes tightly to try and push them away. You feel something warm holding your fidgeting hands still. Opening your eyes to see what it is, you’re met with Levi’s pale hands cupping yours into his own.  

“It’s been a very hard day for us, huh?” You don’t want to tell Levi that it’s not your family’s passing that’s upsetting you right now. You figure if it came up later, you would tell him then. You nod once, meeting his silver eyes with earnest. He releases his grip abruptly, your hand freezing from where he had left it. Another comfortable silence falls on the two of you and it warms you from the inside out. Knowing that he wasn’t actually mad at you filled you with immense relief and you were glad that the confrontation was over. Or so you thought. 

“So Furlan huh?” He playfully chides. You stare at him, incredulous.  

“What? He just seemed really into you. Do you feel the same?” There was a look in his eyes that confused you. You feel your face heat as you tap away at your phone screen. 

‘He was just being nice. I don’t know what you mean. There’s no way he could be interested in me.’ You watch his face anxiously, not certain why he was bringing up such a topic. You didn’t really feel comfortable talking about other boys with him just yet, whether it be because you still barely knew Levi or something else you couldn’t quite describe.  

“Tch, you don’t know.” He cocks an eyebrow at you but says nothing else. You just shake your head at him, at a loss for words of what to say next.  

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the sliding door and peeking through is a Hange with a wide grin.  

“Are you ready to go home, my little berry?” Their muffled voice penetrates through the glass pane. You give them a thumbs up and a small smile. They give you a thumbs up in return then spin around to Erwin and Miche who are now standing up, going back into a conversation. You glance back at Levi and find his dark eyes gazing at you. The moonlight hit his entire figure at an angle that made him look almost... otherworldly.  

.

A couple hours later, you’re lying on your side in your bed with fluffy sheets surrounding you. The clock reads late but you can’t sleep due to the giddiness from the buzzing of your phone. You stare at a message notification sent by one Levi Ackerman, and a smile playing on your lips. 

Thanks for confiding in me. I don’t mind learning more about you, if you want. 

You had received the message a good 5 minutes ago, but you weren’t sure how to respond. For starters, you were extremely shocked to see that he was still awake at such an absurd time. But then again, so were you. You start typing but then delete it right after, going back and forth until finally you give up and just voice what you wanted to say.  

Sufficient with your response, you lock your phone and place it on the bedside table. You stare hard at the table, willing for something to come your way but nothing does. Maybe he fell asleep, you wonder. After a few minutes, you start to drift off with the thoughts of a curt man with silver, glowing eyes. 

Levi can’t help but chuckle at the three dots in the corner of his phone as you start typing but then change your mind. It had taken him forever to find what he wanted to say to you, but he never imagined your response to something seemingly so simple now could take you so long. In truth, he was surprised to see you open the message so quickly and at such a late time. Perhaps you struggled to sleep as well.  

As he waited, he couldn’t help but wonder what to make of you. There was something so intriguing about you that he just couldn’t quite reach, and honestly it confused him even more. Something else bothered him as well as he recalled the haunted look in your eye after talking about your history. Were you holding something back?  

Finally, his phone pings and he scolds himself for how swift he was to pick it up. A simple message brings butterflies to his stomach and unknits his tight eyebrows. Whatever it was that you had kept to yourself, he figures it didn’t matter. He would make it his goal to try and get to know you better.  

Ask away, I’m here for you. Goodnight, Levi.

☾ Previous Chapter: December ☾ Next Chapter: February

#Skys blog recovery #this is ported from my old fandom blog chaotic-on-main #I did not steal these I swear lol they’re mine #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #levi ackerman #levi ackerman fanfiction #fanfiction #modern!au #fluff #angst #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #erwin smith #hange zoe #levi x fem!reader #aot #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman x you #snk fanfiction #long fic #snk #aot fluff #attack on titan fluff #attack on titan levi #unspoken words #x reader

[lumosatnight]

22 FIC RECS 2022!

There have been some fantastic fics this year. Out of the hundreds that I've read (yes, hundreds) here are some of my favorites! These are all fics that I've read and loved in 2022, although some of them are quite a few years older. Here's to another year in the wonderful HP fandom! 22 fics ordered by ship!

🌼 - fluff | 💔 - angst | 🔥 - smut

—

💫 Drarry 💫

1. help yourself and refuse to be buried by Ingi [Drarry, G, 3k] 💔 🍰 A heartfelt story about food and magical cooking! Master of Death Harry connects with his family and his Indian heritage after the war (and also with Draco ahem).

2. Romp and Circumstance by @wolfpants [Drarry, E, 36k] 🌼 🔥 If you enjoy slag Harry with a heart of gold trying to woo his way into Draco's pants, then this fic is for you. Did I mention it's regency era?

3. facedown on my bed (thinking of you) by @onbeinganangel [fem!Drarry, M, 10k] 🌼 💅 A super sweet college AU fic in which Drarry end up being unlikely roommates. They still remain in character while being genderswapped!

4. Good Boy by @lqtraintracks [Drarry, E, 15k] 🔥 🐺 HOT WEREWOLF SMUT!!! Everything you could possibly want with a fic like this. Size kink, breeding kink, scenting, knotting.... um, hell yeah!!

5. An Emerald In The Sky by @corvuscrowned [Drarry, M, 7k] 💔 ⏳ Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. Time travel fuck buddies to lovers with Unspeakable Harry. A love story for the ages. Crow, you continue to amaze me with your fics.

—

💫 Common Ships 💫

6. Industry by charlolwut [Wolfstar, G, 22k] 🌼 📷 Sirius Black is a Muggle TV producer. Remus is his editor. Secrets, misunderstandings, and hilarity ensue!

7. oops I did it again by Anonymous [Jily, E, 16k] 🌼 🔥 College AU where James and Lily are accidental fuck buddies and Lily is confused about it. Their dynamic is flirty and combative! I love James so much in this.

8. The funny thing about grief and time by @etalice [Snarry, E, 44k] 💔 🫂 This fic is flipping fantastic! The angst is glorious, the setting is gorgeous, the interactions are beautiful. Time travel and loneliness wrapped into one amazing story!

9. a mass of fools and knaves by @displayheartcode [slash!Romione, T, 2.6k] 🌼 📖 Short but sweet. Male Hermione is instantly drawn to Ron and how they grow together throughout the years. You'll be rooting for them the whole time!

—

💫 Rare Pairs 💫

10. Growing Teeth by @earlybloomingparentheses [Flonks, E, 2.6k] 💔 🔥 This is a story about growth and recovery and fucking. This is also a story about hair and cutting it all off to finally feel free. Fantastic characterization!

11. Crown Enterprises by @storyof-eden [Cissamione, E, 3k] 💔 🔥 I cannot get over this fic!! Mob boss Narcissa and assassin Hermione are the murder lesbians of my dreams.

12. Little Old Witch by @anxiousgoat-blog [Aragusta, G, 12k] 🌼 👶 This is an AU I can get behind 1000%! Augusta Longbottom finds out Harry is being abused and raises him herself. With the help of the friendly neighborhood squib :)

13. Extraordinarily Ordinary by starstruck1986 [Sirron, E, 9k] 💔 🔥 This ship came out of nowhere, but once I read this fic I couldn't unsee it. Ron is just the right amount of innocent and insecure to be taken in by Sirius's charms.

14. Courtship Rituals by @impishtubist [Cedrarry, T, 4k] 🌼 🌹 Cedric tries to court Harry, but of course he's oblivious. This is cute and hilarious!

15. Yes, Minister by iamisaac [Kingco, E, 1.5k] 🔥 👔 This is pure filthy smut between Draco and his minister boyfriend. Hop aboard the Kingsley/Draco ship where there's mind-blowing sex and that sweet sweet age difference!

16. Gyre and Gimble by eldritcher [Drarity, M, 3k] 💔 ☀️ A stunning fic from one of my hands-down favorite authors! Draco is drawn to the prisoner in the manor's basement. Charity is perhaps a little mad.

—

💫 Poly Ships 💫

17. A Life Worth Remembering by @writcraft [Snarryaco, E, 23k] 💔 🔥 Memory loss, de-aged Severus Snape, and established Drarry pulling him into the fold. This fic is such a wonderful dive into polyamory and relationships.

18. Terms and Conditions by @maraudersaffair [Linnansy, E, 8k] 🌼 🔥 Pansy can't get over her ex (Ginny) and is stuck on a trip with Ginny's new girlfriend (Luna). This fic made me laugh, swear, and sweat all in one sitting.

19. Slice of Pleasure by @misdemeanor1331 [Bleonsy, E, 5k] 🔥 🔪 Theo is obsessed with knives, Pansy is obsessed with Theo, and Blaise is just there for a good time. Knife kink and hot smut. Like very hot. Very very hot. But also sweet.

—

💫 Gen 💫

20. Nine Hundred and Twelve by @cannibalschism [Fred & George, T, 5k] 💔 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 This fic is filled to the brim with metaphors, friendship, and life lessons. I absolutely loved this take on time travel and the journey that George takes. Percy is the real MVP!

21. Where You Belong by blue_string_pudding [Severus, T, 6k] 💔 🐀 This is probably the creepiest, most unsettling thing I've ever read. I completely ADORE it. But I was definitely checking around corners after reading it.

22. Family Legacy by @thistlecatfics [The Tonks, T, 2k] 🌼 💔 Following Ted, Nymphadora, and Teddy as they navigate life and queer identity. This is a fic that is so wonderfully poignant, it leaves you in awe of all that it accomplished.

—

💫 Bonus fics! 💫

Here's a WIP I'm excited about for 2023!

One More to Love by @krethes, @theresthesnitch [Wolfstarbucks, E, 94k, WIP] 🌼 🔥 Omegaverse and surprise pregnancy! The sexual chemistry between the three is off the charts! I'm not usually into WIPs, but for this I am (im)patiently waiting for every update.

Also a cheeky self-rec because why not?

What is this, fucking Jeopardy? by @lumosatnight [Drarry, E, 20k] 🌼 ❓Cursed Draco meets Curse-Breaker Harry. Lots of misunderstandings, humor, oblivious boys in love, and talking in circles. Will Draco ever be cured? Was the author in hysterics while writing this?

—

Want more fics to read?

Try my rec tag: #lumosinthelibrary

My 2021 list, b-day oneshots, WLW Library

#2022 fic recs #year in reading #hp rec list #drarry #wolfstar #jily #snarry #romione #flonks #cissamione #cedrarry #lumosinthelibrary #2022

[womenofpandoraweek]

Women of Pandora Week 2023

June 25-July 1

Day 1: Tsaheylu | Forest | Trauma

Day 2: Eywa | Music & Dance | Hair

Day 3: Recovery | Songcord | Sisterhood

Day 4: Motherhood | Grief | 5 + 1

Day 5: Ancestors | Resurrection | Sky People's Return

Day 6: Scars | Rescue | Battle & Hunt

Day 7: Childhood | Firsts | Atokirina

Here are the prompts for Women of Pandora Week! You can tackle one a day or mix and match prompts—do whatever comes to your mind!

Reminder that anything can be made for Women of Pandora Week! You can write fics or headcanon posts, make a playlist or a moodboard or a web weaving, you can make video edits or fan art! Anything and everything is welcomed! Just remember to post and tag this blog once the day comes!

The general rules for Women of Pandora Week can be found HERE.

If you have any questions please send an ask!

#womenofpandoraweek2023 #avatar event #atwow event #jake sully #neytiri #ronal #grace augustine #avatar recoms #spider socorro #trudy chacon #atwow #tsireya #lo'ak sully #prompt list #the banner looks so bad on mobile 😭 #oh well!! here’s our prompts 🥰🥰🥰 let’s have fun!!!

[ageofevermore]

Believe In Her

Summary — Natasha Romanoff went from being your biggest headache to your baby mama, and you wouldn’t change how it happened for the world, even if it broke your heart and almost your body a couple times

Natasha Romanoff x Reader ( 2k )

Authors Note — Moved from another blog.

When you first met Natasha Romanoff, she was just an employee for Pepper Potts; the same as you. You had been envious of her tight red ringlets and easy wit. Everything you wanted was just handed to her. For months the two of you went head to head on everything. Natasha thought the drapes in Peppers office should be blue, you thought they should be red. You were quite easily the most infuriating person Natasha had met. Maybe that's why she fell for you so hard.

Those first few months of your relationship are buried deep in your memory. You hate how petty and insecure you’d been. Natasha however, loves reminding you. Even after the two of you had smoothed out your kinks and traded in being hot headed rivals for loving girlfriends, she’d get on your case about it. Natasha Romanoff let nothing go. Ever.

It had taken her years to open up to you about her past. You’re thankful for that. If you’d known her story earlier, you wouldn’t have been shy to the idea of putting a bullet in Dreykov's head by yourself. You were impulsive, irrational, led by your emotions. As much as Natasha thought your lack of clarity was cute, had she told you about her past when you’d first met, you wouldn't have lived to your twenty-sixth birthday. What Natasha had never been shy about, was wanting kids.

She’d always said she wanted four. Three was an odd number, and two wasn’t enough. On nights when you couldn’t sleep, she would pull you in by your waist and tell you about her childhood. She’d tell you the bad things, but she’d dwell on the good things. She told you all about Yelena and Melina. About how good of a mother you’d be if you were given the opportunity. She told you about how when she was sterilized, during her recovery she thought about holding an innocent baby in her arms that was half her and half somebody she loves. She told you that she wished for a daughter. A daughter with her green eyes and the hair of somebody she loves. She told you that she would’ve named her Luna. She never cried about it. She’d just smile fondly, holding back her tears as she twists your hair around her fingers.

A year before things had somehow gotten worse for Natasha and yourself, you started your journey in trying to get pregnant. Two months before the both of you fled the states and almost died (multiple times), you’d attempted your first shot at pregnancy. You wish you’d known that it was successful when her little sister held you at knifepoint in Budapest, or when you’d finally gotten your chance to hurt the man that spent his life hurting your girl. You would’ve done things differently. Natasha had already been hurt so many times, you’d never forgive yourself if this good thing had been ruined by your eagerness to end her lifelong fight. If you’d lost your baby, your heart would’ve broken in a way that wasn’t fixable. Even after falling out of the sky and being shot by mind controlled women, suffering broken bones and lacerations, you were still pregnant. There was still a baby growing inside of you; a baby that although wasn’t technically half Natasha and yourself, was already a stubborn little fighter like your partner.

You’d found out a few months after being detained by Ross. After suffering near paralyzing headaches, bouts of nausea and intense food aversions for almost an entire week with no explanation, you had reluctantly let Natasha take you to the doctors. It was a Monday, just after three in the afternoon, and you were days away from entering your sixth month of pregnancy. Your sixth month of pregnancy with a little girl that you hoped would have Natasha’s heart.

You’d been forced to tell Natasha’s family over a phone call. After nearly fainting at breakfast with the team, your doctor had advised for a temporary bedrest. Natasha, already being overprotective without the encouragement from a professional, had placed you on lockdown for the better end of your pregnancy. Only when you started contracting did she let you stand on your own, hunched over the bed and wincing with every tight squeeze in your lower back, wanting nothing to do with her or anyone else.

Just after ten in the evening your baby girl joined your earthside with a scream like her mothers. Natasha had only rolled her eyes when you’d made that comment, bending down to kiss your sweaty forehead as the both of you watched the doctors clean her up and take her stats.

Natasha had taken to motherhood like she hadn’t grown up being abused and trained to murder. She’s gentle with her. Devoted to doing everything the best way she can, even if it means that at times she’s gone almost six days without a decent block of sleep. She was so worried about keeping the stress off of your shoulders, she’d let herself feel the brunt of having a newborn baby alone. You wished that she wasn’t so headstrong, that she hadn’t waited until she broke to tell you she was scared. You hated that in adding love to your relationship, Natasha and yourself had become so disconnected.

“She’s okay.” You whispered against Natasha’s shoulder. She’d finally come to bed after getting the baby down for a nap, but at every whimper she was threatening to leave your side to calm your daughter. “I promise, baby. She’s okay.”

Natasha huffs, twisting around so that her face is buried in your chest. She ignores the smell of spit up on your top, and the dried milk that’s seeping through your bra, and just lets your warmth, and your body, and your whispers comfort her. She’s exhausted. You both are exhausted. But the both of you are also so completely in love.

“How are you so good at this?” Natasha whines. You laugh gently, combing your fingers through her knotty red hair. You don’t remember the last time either of you has had time to take a shower, and her greasy, tangled hair is enough proof of the neglect you both are feeling.

“I’m not.” You shake your head, bottom lip downturned as you wonder how Natasha had ever let herself believe that. You’ve cried yourself to sleep in her arms almost every night for the last three days. Nothing about this transition had been easy for you. “Why do you think that?”

“You’re so good with her. You make it look so easy.” She sniffles. It breaks your heart watching Natasha cry. You can count on your ten fingers how many times it’s happened, but it doesn’t get any easier. Her chest rises and falls almost too fast for you to count each shaky inhale, and with every gasp for air you’re rubbing her back, encouraging her to keep going. To finally let you in.

When she doesn't elaborate any further, only presses her head into your chest, your lips fall to her forehead. “Honey.” You say softly, “You are the only one I would’ve wanted to do this with. You’re the best mama.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.” Natasha sniffles, and you wipe a tear that falls down the side of her face. You knew that it would be hard, especially for Natasha. You knew that her own childhood would pose setbacks for her, but you’d never anticipated her being so blind to how good of a mother she is.

“Then what does it feel like?” You asked, beginning to braid a strand of her red hair. She’d been thinking about dying it blonde; thinking about changing yet another part of your lives. That’s all that seems to be happening lately. Change. Even if most of it was planned, you hadn’t realized how hard it would be to keep yourselves afloat. You could fight aliens, and androids, and supersoldiers, but being human would always be the hardest part of your lives.

“Like if I make one wrong move, what makes me any different from him.” Natasha sobs. Her cries shake her body and she clings to you. Every wound that she’s been working on closing and healing has just reopened all at once, and now her heart is outside of her body in a perfect little girl that doesn’t know how loved she is. She’s trying so hard to put herself back together, but nothing about this is easy or quick. “I want to be good for her.”

“And you are.” Your tone leaves no room for Natasha to say anything. You know she wants to. She always has something else to say, but hearing her talk so harshly about herself is soul shattering. “Natasha, you are the absolute best thing that has happened to me or that little girl. You’re as much of her mother as I am, and I couldn’t do this without you. You’re already her favorite person, baby. You’re the one that soothes her, and gets her down. She doesn’t want me until she’s hungry.” Light laughter follows what you say, and the heavy, burdening weight on Natasha’s chest lessens a little. It doesn't fix everything, and you hadn’t expected it too, but it’s reassured her that she’s not the only one with faith in herself. You believe in her more than you believe in yourself.

For this one, quick moment in what’s felt like years, you felt like Y/N and Natasha again. No life threatening enemies attempting to control mankind, no crippling exhaustion and vomit covered clothing. Just you and her. And then the baby started crying.

Natasha giggled a little through her teary eyes, pulling away from your warmth and your willingness to be her person. “I’ll get her.”

You smiled, watching your girls through sleepy eyes. Ten years ago, you never would’ve thought that you’d be sleeping with your enemy in a two story house that you own, let alone making her your baby mama. But, you would trade this for anything. Natasha Romanoff is the best thing to have ever come into your life; even if just knowing her has almost killed you too many times to count.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fic #mom!natasha romanoff x reader

[mushroomminded]

(All chronological links are browser only. They do not work in the tumblr app)

STORY

ALL POSTS | CHRONOLOGICAL (RECOMMENDED)

NON STORY POSTS | CHRONOLOGICAL

STORY POSTS | CHRONOLOGICAL DLC POSTS | CHRONOLOGICAL

ARCS

(In order. Please note that the name of the arc may not be the name of the tag)

PEACHY SNAPS | CHRONOLOGICAL

RETURN TO ALTERNA | CHRONOLOGICAL

RECOVERY | CHRONOLOGICAL

ZONE | CHRONOLOGICAL

IRA | CHRONOLOGICAL

ROOMMATES | CHRONOLOGICAL

MARS | CHRONOLOGICAL

THE MIDDLE | CHRONOLOGICAL

LUCKY LU | CHRONOLOGICAL

UNDER AN ARTIFICIAL SKY | CHRONOLOGICAL

A HOPEFUL FUTURE | CHRONOLOGICAL

AGENT 3 | CHRONOLOGICAL

THE KNIFE | CHRONOLOGICAL

THE END

DLC

INTRO | CHRONOLOGICAL (Not all events are canon, this is feeling out the premise)

A DIFFICULT GOODBYE | CHRONOLOGICAL

(MEM)ORY | CHRONOLOGICAL

A BEAUTIFUL DREAM | CHRONOLOGICAL

RECURRING CHARACTERS

DJANGO | CHRONOLOGICAL | Character Creator

ZONE | CHRONOLOGICAL | Character Creator

MARS | CHRONOLOGICAL | Character Creator

KELL | CHRONOLOGICAL

SHELLE | CHRONOLOGICAL

IRA | CHRONOLOGICAL

SILTMAT | CHRONOLOGICAL | Character Creator

INEZ | CHRONOLOGICAL | Character Creator

TRINKET | CHRONOLOGICAL | Character Creator

OTHER

FANART

KELL’S FIRST SPLATFEST

SQUID BOOBS | CHRONOLOGICAL

FUZZY OOZE | CHRONOLOGICAL

WHITE NOISE

HUMAN AU

FROM THE GORE BLOG SIDE ORDER ART

#peachy #masterpost #splatoon