#praying to lucifer for all of us (obviously a joke)

[demonboydevilman]

Dan and Phil, huh?

Well, I didn't have that on my 2023 bingo card.

#this year is the stars just keep aligning for the emos #praying to lucifer for all of us (obviously a joke) #alternative #emoboi #goth #goth aesthetic #gothic #punk #punk rock #dan and phil #danisnotonfire #dan howell #amazing phil #phil lester #gay #gif warning #tw smoking #big win for the gnc gay emos today #big win

[strawberry-cowmilk]

mc on maury

For reasons: this is a joke, everything about this is a joke please don’t take it seriously. Also I wrote this at like late at night, so this is gonna be low quality, I’m sorry.

Content warning: strong language, children, not knowing who the father is, drinking

Mc knew her behavior would backfire on her one day, but yet, she barely cared until it actually happened. Drunken by demon dick, she just kept opening her legs for all of the brothers whenever the chance was given. It was all fun and games, until she ended up having a child, not knowing which one of the brothers was the father. Mc hoped the child would look like one of the demons, so she could actually pin down who knocked her up. But sadly for Mc, her son looked exactly like her.

Everyone kept fighting, Mammon claimed he is the father because he was Mc’s ‘first,’ so according to his logic, her first child would also be his. Satan screamed at Mammon for using such dumbass logic, and declared he was the father, because he saw the little boy pick up a spoon once at two months old. “This child is obviously mine, I saw him grab that spoon, that must mean he is smart. And since I’m the only one in this family with more than three braincells, I am the father!” And this is basically how every dinner at the house of lamentation went. The more the brothers bickered, the more and more tired Mc became. She just wished her younger self thought more with her brain instead of her crotch. But one day, she discovered something that might save her from the constant arguing. Apparently, there’s a show run by a guy named Maury who tells people whether a child is theirs or not. Without hesitation, she signed up for the show. Now, everyone can find out who the baby boy’s father is, and the family war will cease to exist.

“So, Mc, from what I understand, your child has not one, not two but seven potential fathers?’ Maury said in a judgmental tone. Silence engulfed the room, until Mc let out a little ‘yes.’ At that point the audience started squealing loudly. Mc couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed and prayed her parents and other family members weren’t watching TV right now. Good thing Diavolo agreed to accompany the brothers and her to the human world for this drug trip of a journey. At least there was one supportive person in the audience. ‘Let’s bring in the candidates!’ Maury exclaimed. At that moment, the audience went even more bazonkas as all seven brothers walked into the studio. All of them took their seat almost instantly except for Asmo, who blew a kiss to the camera first while throwing it back. ‘Alright, let’s start with Mammon. Why do you believe you are the father?’ The host questioned. Mammon stood up from his chair to face the audience, as if he was a professor about to lecture his class. Satan facepalmed, and Lucifer audibly sighed, while muttering the words ‘Here we go again.’ Mammon dramatically explained his story of how he can be the father as the audience boo-ed his bullshit story. Leviathan started losing it and laughing. ‘LOLOLLOLL Mammon they think you’re even more stupid than you actually are LMFAOOO!!’ The atmosphere in the studio was getting so intense, Maury actually had to break up the chaos. 

‘Alright, let’s cut to the chase, Mammon, in the case of six-month-old Gerard, Mammon you are NOT the father.’ The two seconds of silence were quickly disrupted by the screaming audience as Mammon started running backstage while three cameramen were on his ass. The remaining six brothers cheered as their chances of being the father increased. Except for Belphie, he thought children were too much work, but he didn’t like the thought of jizz belonging to somebody other than his impregnated his precious Mc. The person enjoying the news the most was Levi. ‘LMAO Mammon got pwned LOLOL!’ You know what they say, who laughs too hard will soon be crying. Maury then proceeded to reveal Levi wasn’t the father either. The audience screamed out again as Levi too, started running backstage with cameramen following and filming him as he collapses on the couch, having a mental breakdown. Meanwhile, Diavolo in the audience started to question why he decided to come to this absolute shitshow, and started to question whether not going through with the exchange might have been able to prevent said shitshow from taking place.

‘Look at this handsome young man.’ Asmo said as he pointed to a picture of Gerard on one of the big screens. ‘He must have gotten this beauty from somebody, right? Who else could that be but me!’ he claimed theatrically, using both of his hands to point at himself. ‘You sure are confident, Asmo.’ Belphie noted, with Beel, who was basically deepthroating a hotdog next to him nodding in agreement. Bahamian hollering could be heard in the background. Mc thought it likely came from Mammon, Levi, or both of them. ‘Alright, Satan, you are not the father either.’ Maury said as he pointed to Asmo. ‘FUCK!’ Satan screeched as he ran off stage too. Except for running to where his two older brothers were, Satan just straight up left the fucking building. For some reason, a cameraman followed him too and everyone could see him enter the nearest Irish pub to drink his frustration away on tape. Back in the studio, Asmo chuckled. ‘I’m not Satan, I’m Asmodeus, check that little paper of yours again pretty please.’ Maury looked at the letter in his hand again. ‘Ah yes, Asmodeus. You’re not the father either.’ The avatar of lust’s eyes went wide before he started tearing up. ‘No, no way! This has to be a mistake!’ he cried out before running backstage too. When he arrived there, Asmo dramatically fell on top of Levi, who was still having a mental breakdown. 

That left just three. Belphie, Beel and Lucifer, one of them was the father of Mc’s son. Despite the chaos, Belphie was almost falling asleep on his chair. To keep him awake, Maury decided to reveal his results. ‘Belphegor, you are not the father.’ You know the drill, audience screams, Belphie runs backstage with the camera crew following him. But he fell asleep halfway, so he’s now lying on the floor of some random hallway, snoring louder than Mammon’s tortured screams. ‘Belphie...’ Beel frowned, feeling bad for his twin. ‘Relax, Beelzebub, you can join him because you are not the father either!’ Before running away, Beel grabbed his McDonalds takeout and rushed to his younger brother’s side. So that means Lucifer is the father right? Before Mc could open her mouth to speak, Lucifer started talking. ‘Listen, Maury, since the birth of this child, my idiot brothers haven’t given me two minutes of peace. That means my headaches have increased exponentially. So please hurry up and reveal me as the father, so they can shut their traps about this for good.’ With that Maury looked at the paper again. ‘Well, in the case of six-month-old Gerard, Lucifer, you are not the father.’ The audience went ultra crazy this time, even Diavolo was having a hard time keeping quiet. Unlike his brothers, Lucifer didn’t run. He just calmly left the studio to go to the same bar Satan was at. To his surprise, the cameraman filming his blonde brother was still there.

‘But, who is the father then?’ Mc asked in despair. ‘Not to worry, I’ve got that answer right here.’ Maury said as he opened a new letter that was just handed to him. ‘The father of Gerard is...’ everybody went silent. Mc was almost passing out, and Mammon was still crying in the background. After a pause that felt like ages, Maury finally revealed the result. ‘Diavolo!’ It was now Mc’s turn to run backstage crying with a cameraman following her. The audience’s yells were loud enough to deafen a bird, and Diavolo sat there, dumbfounded. ‘But wait, we used protection, it cannot be me.’ He reasoned with Maury. ‘What kind of protection?’ Diavolo thought for a while before answering. ‘A plastic bag we taped to my cock with medial tape.’ he explained. Everyone screamed again at that response.

Everybody learned a precious life lesson then and there. Don’t use plastic bags as a condom substitute, and stay loyal to one partner.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me crack #obey me x reader #obey me scenarios #leviathan #lucifer #mammon #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #diavolo #satan #f!mc

[diavolosthots]

I get so happy every time I see your requests are open again... Anyway, could you write a scenario in which Satan fell in love with the reader, only to realise, after the whole attic situation, that they were falling in love with Belphegor, instead? Like, he just caught them in a lovey dovey moment by accident. Not really NSFW, just angst. Thank you in advance, I love your writing and am always looking forward to it every day ❤️

I posted this on ao3 first but here it is

Warning: angst

Broken Hearts Club (SATAN X GN!READER)

It was truly hard not to fall for you. You are everything he’s ever read about, everything he’s ever dreamt about. At night, when he’s still awake with only a candle to keep him company, and his nose is buried deep within his stacks of books, his mind still finds a way to drift to you. At first he found it annoying; how could anyone occupy his mind this much? But it was so obvious to him what exactly it was. It was obvious to him because he’s seen it so many times in stories and even occasionally down here in the Devildom. As demons, he used to think each and every single one of them was doomed for misery and bad luck, but he’s seen it work out, even for the darkest of beings. It brings him hope that maybe, just maybe, it will work out for him too. Up until you came along, though, no one really interested him. They were all dull and boring, and… dumb. They looked at the surface level of things and they didn’t stimulate his mind as much as they did his body, which made him turn away in disgust and start from scratch. Pretty faces only go so far, you know?

And truly, at first he didn’t even believe you could be anything to him. You were pretty, yes, no doubt about that, and he definitely felt a physical attraction, but it took a while for him to realize that you could keep him satisfied mentally as well. You are… complex, and he liked that. It’s like a tornado, if he’s being honest. You could change your mood at any moment, you could blow up or calm down, speak your mind or pretend to keep the peace. You are smart and kind, mostly patient although he totally understands when you’re not. Believe him, he does. You were… a garden. His garden. Filled with so many flowers and animals, bushes and trees, and different types of dirt depending on where you looked. You didn’t give yourself to just the roses or just the beetles on the ground. You had daisies and magnolias, and earthworms and bees, happily flying around and bringing a small blessing to everything it touches. You grew and you died, but you always came back. Some of you stuck around all year, other parts of you only showed up during certain times… and that’s okay. It’s intriguing. It makes him excited and desperate and… greedy. Needy? 

“Are you free right now? I was thinking of going to the cafe.” He hoped, silently prayed, that you’d say yes, and you even smiled back at him before you gave him that teasing smirk, “hm… you feeling generous, Satan? Plan to pay for my coffee?” A joke, obviously, although he’d never have any issue in paying for you because it’s you and he wants you to be happy, even if that means spending a couple of grimm on coffee. “Sure, but tea is superior, so you owe me for choosing the wrong thing.” a smirk back. Was that smooth? Even if it wasn’t, you’re laughing now and it feels so innocent so he can’t help but feel like it was. “Fine, but not right now. I have things to do. Maybe in an hour? Does that still work for you?” He nodded, but what you didn’t know is that he’d drop any and everything he was doing at whatever moment to do things with you, even if you still have terrible taste in drinks. “Mhm. I’ll meet you up front in an hour.” and then you were off, and he was just watching you walk away. What he didn’t know, though, is that you’d do that quite literally an hour from now. 

A part of him was nervous because all of him wanted this to go right. The other part of him is confident that things will go right. Maybe you could take a walk in the park afterward, or just around town. Maybe you’d catch the Devildom sky at just the right time with him and he could finally fess up about how he feels. He texted you one more time, 15 minutes before. Just a simple “I’ll be downstairs at the door.” so you know where to find him. It never got answered but he just assumed you read it and moved on with your life. No biggie, he does the same. Excitement rushed through him and he was twiddling with his thumbs a bit. This could be his chance at one of those fairy tale romances, no matter how silly he used to think they were. He craved that. The love, the adventure, the vulnerability… the life he could share with someone, you know? He needed that, in all honesty. He’s been waiting at that door since 15 minutes ago and he’s being pretty lenient. “Probably brushing their hair….” you know, simple things. Maybe you’re looking at the menu of the cafe so you’re not holding up the line when you get there? He should do the same. 

But he’s been looking at the menu for another fifteen minutes now. Had you forgotten? No. He texted you about it, afterall, and he’s checking now that the message really went through, which it did. It angered him. He’s talked to you less than two hours ago there’s no way you could’ve already forgotten. You’re not Mammon. “Maybe…” he’s giving himself excuses and he knows it. Anything to justify anything you could be doing right now, but then he heard your laughter coming from upstairs and he knew you were at least in the house. He raised an eyebrow “facetiming a friend…?” Right? You still had friends up in the human world, afterall. He walked back up the stairs, looking left and right until he heard your laughter again, coming from the attic this time. “Belphegor…” That’s the only person that ever goes up there unless Lucifer decides to punish someone again. A soft growl escaped him and he swiftly made his way up there, not bothering to knock on the door because all of a sudden, all common courtesy left his body “(Y/N)---!”

A pause. Wide eyes and an open mouth. You were still grinning from the previous laugh that escaped your pretty little mouth, but it quickly dropped when you saw him. “Satan..? Has it already been an hour?” Innocent. You were playing innocent as if you weren’t cuddled up underneath Belphegor with his face buried in your chest. He looked bored now, although Satan is sure he saw him laugh too, which is a miracle within itself but that’s also another story. “Yes. It’s been an hour.” He didn’t mean to sound so harsh but every ounce of happiness, of hope, dropped from his features and he looked anywhere from disgusted to disappointed to hurt. He’s pretty sure he just ran through a few hundred emotions in less than thirty seconds, and how could he not? You guys were so close. His hands were…. Where his hands should never have been and you let him. As a matter of fact, you were holding onto him just as tightly. “Let me get ready. I’ll be there in a second.” Still innocent. You were smiling now, as if nothing was even wrong. And then you leaned down to kiss Belphie’s head as he whined that you’re pushing him off of you and all Satan could do was watch and clench his fists.

“Save it. Have fun.” It sounded more than a little passive aggressive and honestly, he didn’t care. There was so much going on inside of him right now and he made it a point to turn on his heel, “Satan!” no matter how loud you screamed his name. He ran back down the stairs, passing Lucifer on the way and snarling at him, but he didn’t care. He’d deal with the lecture and consequences later. Right now he was just trying not to cry because that would mean you had some sort of control over him, some type of upper emotional hand, and he can’t have that. He can’t let that happen. “I should’ve known.” He slams the door to his room, breathing heavily now as he tries to fight back the tears. Weak. He felt weak. Used. Betrayed. Somewhere, his rational mind tried to justify it for him. Somewhere he knows that he should’ve told you sooner if he wanted that with you, but at the same time… didn’t he make it obvious?

All the late night talks, the gentle caresses, the soft smiles and awkward pickup lines… was all of that not obvious to you? Did it not signal to you that somehow, somewhere, he held deep feelings? Should he have tried harder to court you…? He could feel the tears streaming and he quickly wiped them with the back of his hand. Anger surged through him, but he’s trying to keep himself together, pacing the room instead. He should’ve tried harder, although he did try… You shouldn’t have been so blind to his advances. Did you just lead him on? Did you just like the attention that he gave you? Did you just drag him along because you thought it was funny that he would let his guard down momentarily. Did you mock his vulnerability? Sadness and betrayal turned into anger and hatred toward you the more he thought about it, but not just you; the idea of love in general. 

“People just use you, anyway.” 

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #shall we date satan #satan x mc #obey me satan #satan obey me #satan avatar of wrath #obey me satan x reader #tw angst

[the-gray-ghosty]

what are your favorite sam hcs?

Here are some of my favorite Sam hcs :) (these are all mine) :)

Witch Sam finds a greenhouse room down in the bunker, with eery lamps on the ceiling. The lamps look almost like skylights, except for the fact that the large room is at least 3 stories underground. He plants a few basic herbs, like basil and tomatoes. When Rowena dies, Sam finds many plants and seeds in her stache of witchy things, so he plants all of them in the greenhouse. He keeps track of what they are and what they do. Its his magical herb garden. He works down there and it just helps him relax and take some time to himself, digging in the dirt. The lamps must be magic, because the plants grow like they are in bright sunlight. There are huge bright purple flowers that smell like vanilla and small yellow flowers that when crushed up into tea make you fall asleep without nightmares. (There are many more, those are just Sam's favorites)

Sam and Castiel speak enochian to each other in the bunker. Castiel was worried that speaking enochian might bring up bad (cage) memories for Sam, but Sam told Cas that he wouldn't let them (lucifer and michael) ruin such a beautiful language for him. So Sam uses it often, joking with castiel and sometimes even singing in the beautiful angel language. Sometimes Sam can't tell when he's speaking in enochian or when he's not, and dean often has to stop him and say "Sammy, english please." Sam is almost as fluent as any angel, and he has surprised many angels when they curse at him or insult him and he retorts back in the same language.

I hc that Sam was in the Cage for over 1,000 years. I know most people say about 180 years, but i feel like since the Cage is in the deepest part of Hell it would be much much longer than that.

Sam and Brady dated back in their freshmen year of college. They were roommates, which is how they met. They went to beaches and movies together, and shared a lot of laughs. They broke up just because it wasn't working between them as boyfriends, but they did stay really close friends. Then a year later Brady got possessed, and then introduced Sam to Jess.

Sam sometimes is afraid of Dean when he drinks. He knows how angry Dean can get, sometimes the slightest things can set him off. Especially if he (dean) had a nightmare about Charlie dying or Mary. When this happens, Sam prays to Castiel and Cas flies both of them away. Sometimes they go to Jody's or sometimes they just go to a park or the zoo and watch the animals. (If Jack is there they obviously bring him too.)

Sam, Castiel and Gabriel have a tradition where once every few months they'll fly out to France and get crêpes, and sit at a park and talk in enochian. Sam loves hearing from the angel and archangel about history, Cas tells about facts and architecture while Gabriel tells funny stories about people. "Yeah so Alexander Hamilton? A jerk! He slapped me in the face because I called him a "sac à bite"! Of course I didn't know he could speak french!" *cue Sam dying laughing*

(Sastiel hc) When Sam and castiel get married they buy a little beach house away from the bunker just for them to relax at. (It is covered in warding and spells, and probably as safe as the bunker.) They have rooms for Dean and jack, and a few guest rooms if jody and the girls come up to stay. Sam and Cas take walks on the beach, picking up sandollars and cool shells. Sam and Jack sometimes lay on the roof at night, and Sam teaches the young boy all of the constellations they can see. (like Dean did for him.)

#sam winchester #my hcs #:) #ask #sam winchester hcs #supernatural #sastiel #castiel #dean winchester #jack kline #jody mills #headcanons #sam #spn #sac à bite means ''dickbag'' in french lol #gabriel #gabriel and sam are friends #gabriel ships sastiel #gray answers

[write-nerdy-to-me]

Who’s Da New King of the Universe?

Ever since I saw the s5b trailer, I’ve been thinking some Thoughts™ about where the show is going, where these characters’ journeys of self-discovery will lead, so on and so forth. Putting aside my Deckerstar fears (which, hello theme of the season — “that’s all they are, fears”), I want to talk about the plot they’ve introduced with the return of God, and more specifically, who I believe will actually “become God.” (Though can an angel just assume this role…? I’m getting ahead of myself.)

For the first time in millennia (possibly ever), God has touched down to earth. This unexpected visit is fraught with tension and unease for a myriad of reasons: Why now? How come God hasn’t reached out before? What does this mean for everyone? What does this mean for Lucifer? Why did God do what he did? Why, why, why… 

Already, Lucifer is trying to navigate his new-and-fragile relationship with Chloe and deal with Michael, The First Fearmonger, who is still lingering about. There’s no doubt about the inevitable internal turmoil Lucifer will experience with facing the being he curses the most (besides himself). Then, to really top everything off, God announces his retirement. Like, holy shit, that’s a lot to deal with. 

So, what does Lucifer do? Well, in Peak Lucifer Fashion™ totally not avoiding the issues at hand — as there are no issues, obviously — he decides that he’s going to take his father’s place and become G-O-D (or Lod, if you’re feeling fresh. Please don’t call him Lod). He certainly can’t let Michael take their father’s place, that’s for damn sure. But, and this is important, is ruling the universe what Lucifer truly desires?

Lucifer has grown so much since his and Chloe’s first meeting, there’s no denying that. Of course, he’s not without slip-ups, just as anyone else isn’t, but he’s trying and that’s what matters. Before, everything he did was ultimately flipping the bird to his dad (but also to himself, but that’s some other shit), yet he willingly, selflessly returned to the place he vowed to never step foot in — just to protect Chloe, to protect humanity. He had no idea when he would be able to return, if he would even be able to. Would he ever get to see Chloe again? I’m sure the question haunted him for those thousands of years, as there’s no way he’d believe they’d reunite in hell.

Anyway, deeper Lucifer analysis aside, I just… don’t see him actually wanting the responsibility the role of God brings. Ruling hell, being a king, was always a job that was put on him and he met it great reluctance, if not outright hostility. “It was a job, Detective. Something I was forced to do.” Lucifer doesn’t have any desire to rule demons — he was all for the demons themselves to become the new king, just so he didn’t have to go back — but... Lucifer will be fine and dandy to rule... well, everything? Like, if he hates being the king of hell, what’s to say he’s even going to find fulfillment in being Master of the Universe? Lucifer wants to experience humanity, to help them to realize their deepest desires — and, hopefully, understand his own in the process. I believe that he’s latching onto this idea of entering Godhood because he’s avoiding the issues in front of him: Chloe asked him if he loves her back, and he never gave her an answer. He’s distracting himself, doing something dramatic as he’s wont to do — just to realize that he’s right where he’s supposed to be. (Chloe was just getting used to being in love with Thee Devil™, and now he’s... God? Mm, fancy that. The devil doth protest too much, methinks.) So, what does Lucifer want? Well, that’s a whole other convo, which I’m planning to get into later.

Now we have the question: Who is fit to be God?

It’s rather obvious when you think about it. Who is most often ought out, prayed to for help? For guidance?

Amenadiel is known for his strength, his unwavering loyalty, his compassion, and his love for humanity. He didn’t come by the last two easily by any means. Before, he held humanity at a distance by slowing down time and visiting earth without it knowing. It was after staying and experiencing humanity that he began to feel a change in himself. Since his journey of self-discovery, he’s learned that separating himself from people is not what he wants. He’s come to love humanity, and so, let go of the walls that kept him apart. “Look, I wasted so much time keeping them at bay, looking down on them for millennia when they have so much to offer. I’m only now just realizing how lucky that we are that we actually get a chance to connect with them. So I say put up your sign: ‘Open for business. Humanity, come on in.’”

The nuns felt God’s love stronger than ever reflected back at them in the presence of Amenadiel. This had never happened to him before and it couldn’t have happened because he wasn’t ready. After losing his wings, becoming human himself, experiencing loss, he’s closer to humanity than he’s ever been. He’s even a father now, and he finds fulfillment in just being there for Charlie; he doesn’t need anything else. Whereas Lucifer says he’s ~practicing his dad jokes, but has never been too terribly fond of offspring — with the Detective’s being the exception — and has shown no inclination for fatherhood, except, y’know, now that Godhood is dangling in front of his face like the shiny distraction it is. There are the few instances where he’s seen drinking out of the #1 Dad mug, which I think was foreshadowing for God’s arrival and this subsequent idea of Lucifer’s to be God, more than anything. There’s more to being a father than the puns, though. Between these two, I think it’s pretty self-evident who is more fit to carry the responsibility of the universe.

I think, perhaps, Amenadiel will take the universal throne, and Lucifer will continue as he has by guiding souls to their deepest desires. It will be another partnership, the brothers working together instead of against one another — just as they did to light the flaming sword. Someone for strength, someone for honesty. (Who knows, maybe Michael will be in charge of hell — it would either have to be something he’s bound to, or of his own free will. I mean, ~what do you truly fear~ definitely vibes more with the “you fuel your own hell experience with your guilt” thing.)

And now, some visuals and dialogue that make my brain go brrr. 

“Oh well, thanks for nothing.” “Listen, I really wish I could help you find Chloe, but I have faith in you, brother.”

“And what do you need?” “I think I just need someone to hold my hand and tell me everything’s going to be okay.” “I promise you, Linda. Everything is going to be okay.”

“You couldn’t wait to tell everyone up there how all of God’s children create their own fate, how we decide where we belong.”

“I don’t think it’s God’s job to stop the bad. I actually think he’s there to give us the strength to get through it.”

God, thy name is Amenadiel.

tl;dr

I believe s5b will not end with Lucifer as G-O-D, but with Amenadiel. If I haven't convinced you to come over to the Amenadiel as God side, what if I told you that the combined name is Godadiel. God -> Dad -> Amenadiel.

The dots? Connected. The code? Cracked. My sanity? Gone.

#this is prolly the most sensible post i've ever made #who is she?? #where are the feral ramblings?? #lucifer spoilers #lucifer speculation #lucifer 5b #lucifer s5b #lucifer s5 #lucifer netflix #lucifer morningstar #amenadiel #michael #lucifer meta fodder #untamed meta #my meta #jeez how many times can i write lucifer lmao #i'm starting to feel like michael: ''lucifer! lucifer! lucifer!'' #long post

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And you are not here... (Part I)

(13x01)

Hello beautiful people! We reached season 13!!! This was a very analyzed season, so, many of the things I will say won't be new. There wasn't much Destiel in the second half of the season, so, I hope we can have less volumes than season 12.

But, let's focus now in the angst, and when I speak about angst, I mean Mourning! Dean.

Priorities?

At the beginning of the episode we have Dean, down his knees by Castiel's dead body, he can't believe he just lost him, so, he is not thinking here, he can't thing in another fact more than Cas.

Sam feels he has not time for crying for his best friend, because he has to focus in saving the world: Lucifer's son had just born.

I always like to point the difference here: Why Sam can focus on the Mission right away and Dean can't? Is because the amount of the emotions and the meaning of this lost.

Don't forget they lost Mary too, but this is different.

Because Sam lost his mother, but because she didn't died, he keeps hopes in bringing her back. Because Jack is there, and he was the one opening the rift. He lost Cas, he saw him die, his best friend, but even so, he keeps going, he runs towards that cabin to find the Nephilim. Because just like Cas, even with the loses, he has to keep fighting, to try to save the world, Cas would do the same.

But for Dean Cas represents his Everything, his faith, his hopes, the love of his life. So the world just stopped there. And he can't think in anything else but the deep pain of loosing the man he loves.

Then the scene in the car is heartbreaking.

SAM: Hold on a second. Can we just talk about what happened back there?

DEAN: Sure. Which part? Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—(he pauses) Mom’s gone, and apparently, the Devil’s kid hit puberty in thirty seconds flat. Oh, and almost killed us.

This is Dean not wanting to say Cas is dead, this is Dean not being able to say Cas is dead. His worst nightmare became true.

SAM: Yeah, because you tried to shoot him.

DEAN: I tried to shoot the monster, Sam. It’s kind of what we do.

SAM: We don’t know what he is yet, Dean. And I had it under control.

DEAN: I’m sorry. Are you defending the Son of Satan?

SAM: I’m not defending anything. I’m just saying, look, with everything that’s happened, I’m obviously spun out also, but we need a plan.

DEAN: Yeah, kill him! Okay? That’s the plan. Look, right now all that matters is finding him, and ending him, before he hurts anybody else. And once we do that we’ll figure everything else out.

Again pointing at the difference between the two brothers. Sam is thinking strategically, but Dean wants to kill him, because he blames Jack of Castiel's death. Jack is a monster that deceived, used and killed Cas. So there's no doubt for Dean JACK IS A MONSTER AND HE MUST BE ELIMINATED. For Sam, Jack represents the hopes to get his mother back.

SAM: What about Cas? Is he - is he really dead?

DEAN: You know he is.

And this is terrible, Because Dean is answering this to himself. 'You know he is.' Is the fact he has to assume. But he is avoiding to do it.

"Angels are real too."

So sad when the angels find Castiel on the table. The contemptible way one of them referred to Cas breaks my heart, because is so fresh now his dead in 15x18.

1ST ANGEL: Castiel. Always knew he’d meet a bad end.

2ND ANGEL: He deserved better.

1ST ANGEL: No, he really didn’t.

This is so accurate now, is like hearing Misha wanting his big sacrifice for love as Castiel, and all the fandom repeating HE DERÑSERVED BETTER, trying to show the point, and the C*W and broniles saying NO, HE REALLY DIDN'T. But well... Just a bitter thought... For this angel, particularly, is referring to Castiel's choices, his repeatedly chosing Dean Winchester over Heaven.

When they arrive to the Burger Shop, Dean decides to stay in the car and wait for Sam.

The drunken girl, which results to be an angel, comes out from the same shop, and the camera shows us Dean's bruises in his knuckles. So, we can infer something happened...

The dialogue between the angel and Dean is very interesting, because she create a whole scenario and character:

DRUNK WOMAN: Anyway, Becky was - and I say this in the most feminist, screw the patriarchy way - a giant superbitch. She’d take things, and break things, and piss people off, and just do whatever she wanted, no matter who it hurt.

She will say after revealing who she really is, that Dean was Becky. And the way she speaks about this character is with the same contempt as the angel talking about Castiel. Because Dean is guilty of Castiel's fall and disobedience. He is the human that broke Castiel, and that's why Cas ended up dying.

Once in the police station, Dean tells all the truth to the sheriff, and when he speaks about angels... His face turns even more sad.

Gif credit @wanreina

Look how he drops his eyes and turns his face to the window. This is pure grief, pain, sadness. Because it was almost as if he was mentioning Castiel again. And it hurts too much.

We were witnesses of Dean's prayer to Chuck, mentioning he wanted Castiel back, pleading not just for him, but Mary and even Crowley. Desperate prelaying. And when he turned around, with this little hopes in being heated, and maybe finding everyone there, CAS, and then realizing they weren't, he exploded in anger, breaking the pirate on the door, and hurting his knuckles.

Still trying to make Cas to come back to him...

Goodbye Cas

When Dean was fighting against the drunken woman, now an angel, the dialogue between them is showing us again how Dean was still expecting to find a way to make Castiel come back to him.

MIRIAM: Because Bieber in there? He can do almost anything.

DEAN (hopeful): Anything?

MIRIAM: (Chuckles) Oh, sweetie. Almost anything. Castiel, he's dead.

Gif set credit @godshipsit 👇

Dean's grief all over his face while the little hope that had found it's way is slowly fading again, listening to these words. These words that Miriam says with pleasure.

This scene is showing us how Dean was only thinking about CAS, in how to bring him back, with desperation, he was longing for him so hard, even the angel perceived that emotion.

The other super sad scene was Dean preparing Cas' body for the funeral...

(the follow gifs are from @wanreina)

When he comes back to the cabin, he faces again the reality. Dean is down that sheet, dead. He stops just for a second, and swallows. Encouraging himself to keep walking towards him. Before doing that, he flicks his eyes away from the corpse.

Then he goes to his side, and sighs, and then breaths... The pain is all over him.

This is Dean realizing again Cas is gone. Look at the deep sadness in his face, while he is staring at him, maybe he is talking with him, asking Cas to come back to him. Then, he is swallowing again, hard, he looks away, because Castiel won't come back, Castiel is definitely dead, as the angel said. No one will bring him back, nobody is gonna help him to bring Cash back. The despair is huge. Yes he has to aknowledge that in his heart.

Okay I read somewhere that maybe Dean was praying here to Cas to come back again, then he sees Cas is still dead. But I really believe, Dean didn't stop praying to him, or to Chuck, because that was the only things he could do. What else? So maybe he was praying the whole time, putting his hopes in those so many times Chuck relived him, or Cas camber back to him. Trying to reach Cas somehow. But with each desperate prayer he was convincing himself Cas wouldn't come back, and this time he was dead, really dead. For ever. That's the pain in his heart. He was trying to wake him up, he was pleading for one last miracle, and not to burn his body in the pyre. So this was his last attempt to bring him back.

The last and hard scene was the funeral

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

"You say goodbye" Sammy's voice sound in the background and we see Dean's sad face. The pain and the grief. So different from Sam and Jack. And so different from another times when he had to burn his father, or friends. Nothing is gonna be norm from now. Because he lost Cas, the love of his life.

Visual Narrative: Just a little mention of Pirate Pete's Burger Shop. The place was in blue and red, (Cas and Dean), with references about the ship (Destiel), and jokes about the butt, and, according the Urban Dictionary, the Pirate Pete is a sexual joke too. So, we can maybe infer, base in how angels were mocking Dean and CAS relationship and how it ended in this episode, that place was related to it.

To Conclude:

This was just the beginning of Mourning!Dean, we will see him depressed and with no faith, no hopes. Ig gonna be alarming for Sam, and we will have one huge revelation in the episode in wich Billie will talk with Dean about his grief.

Hope you like the first meta from season 13, see you in the next ones!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

Buenos Aires, December 20th 2020, 6:03 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #13x01 meta #season 13 meta #castiel #dean winchester #jack kline #sam winchester #spn angels #vol. XCIII

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

Sabriel + "you snuck a cat into your dorm room and I won’t tell anyone if you let me come over to pet it when I’m stressed out"

For the Love of the Feline Fur

There’s a knock, and Sam looks at the door with great concern. It’s past dinner, and he definitely isn’t expecting anyone. He doesn’t have a roommate - perks of having the scrawniest room on the campus, Dean says - and his friends are all supposed to have gone out tonight; some farewell party thrown by a graduating senior, that is, exactly the kind of university-wide affair Sam doesn’t want to spend his evenings at. Sure, the Lucifer guy did invite him, but he’d had to excuse himself. It couldn’t be Kevin, either - he’s pretty sure he wasn’t back from Oregon yet. A fleeting thought claimed it might even be Dean - but the probability was a quarter in a million. Ever since Dean landed the job at the salvage yard, he’s hardly gotten out of Kansas - or so, he says. Sam can totally tell it’s got way more to do with the blue-eyed prudish dude Dean didn’t want to explain from his laptop’s screensaver. 

The thought that follows, is edged with the lingering fear of an inspection. In all his months here, it’s never happened, but every freshman has a fair bit of uneasiness, associated with the surprise checking of their rooms, as instilled by their seniors, like it’s a tradition. And obviously Sam’s inclined to be more terrified of such a possibility than others, now that he’s basically living on the other side of the law. 

In his own head, the situation worsens, his hope dwindling - fuck, what if word had gotten out, and that was the warden? What will he even -

Whoever it is, knocks again.

Sam grits his teeth, breathing tentatively, and decides he can’t waste any more time - especially if it’s the campus committee or whoever does these so-called checks. He pushes Amelia’s box further under his bed, and prays that she doesn’t wake up - as he goes to open the door with his most innocent look plastered on his face. 

Contrary to all he’s imagined, and all the various turnouts he’s considered - it’s just a guy from somewhere on his floor, that he’s seen around a couple of times in the manner that everyone at a college has seen everyone, but never had a conversation with. He’s short, so he’s looking up at Sam, and has a serious crease in his forehead. Sam can’t tell if it’s sincere, though. He waits for Sam to finish giving him a once-over, as he peeps through a slightly ajar door, before he asks. “Can I come in?”

“Hey.” Sam blinks. “What do you need?”

The guy raises his eyebrows, really noticeably high, till they’ve started to disappear in his blond hair, just as his make-believe frown. He looks at Sam pointedly, as if Sam is supposed to infer something from that bit. 

“Uh.” Sam mutters, confused. “What does that mean?”

“It’s the universal gesture for ‘I know’, Samsquatch.” He frowns, and Sam is taken aback by a lot of things at once. The way he managed to get his eyebrows that far up - and how they’re curving as they come down, to frame his grinning eyes. The fact that he somehow knows his name - or at least enough of it to give him a nickname. And what he said. About knowing.

When in doubt, play dumb. “Okay. Uh. Well, what does that mean?” He crossed his arms across his chest. “What do you know?”

The guy rolls his eyes. “You don't need to keep that act up, okay? Lemme in, and we can talk.” He lowers his voice, because Sam’s giving him a properly weird look. “I’m looking out for you, dumbass. I don't think you want me telling what I know out here in the hallway either.”

Now that makes sense to Sam, so he lets him inside, parallely worried that this stranger might actually know. He does all he can to not pull him in, except he can’t exactly come off as frantic. “Fine. Come in.”

He walks in, with his hands shoved in his wide hoodie pockets, and a Marvel jacket tied around his waist - looking around Sam’s tiny room as he does. It’s almost like he’s looking for something.

Sam never learned to do any better, so he keeps doing his ‘I-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about’ bit. He gestures at the guy to sit, and he immediately chooses the red beanbag which Dean bought Sam as a joke when he started college, but which is also the only place available for guests in his room - and settles down, cross-legged on his ankles. Sam sits on the bed, because they’ve run out of sitting-spaces already. He holds back a sigh, as he feels the warm basket against his heel, as his legs hang off the edge. “Now, what?”

The guy goes for the frown again, and is apparently about to say something before he stops, and goes for an introduction instead. “I’m Gabriel, by the way. I live diagonally across the hall from you.” He grins. “There’s a Freddie Mercury cutout on the door?”

“Cool.” Sam swallows. Yeah, he knows that room. Always thought it was pretty cool, but then he has a very traditional ‘do not enter’ sign on his that he wouldn’t want to part with.

“And please stop looking at me like that.” He requests, going on. “I don't bite people, on first meetings. Unless they’re asking for it. And just to put your heart at peace, I’ve heard that you have a cat.”

“Heard?” Sam revolts. “Who else knows? How many people -”

“Figure of speech. Sorry.” Gabriel apologizes, cutting him off. “I didn’t hear it. And trust thy neighbor, nobody knows.”

“Then, how do you -”

“I was awake when you were smuggling it in.” He shrugs. “It’s regular for me to awake at 3 in the morning, of course -” He pauses, and shoots a sympathetic look at Sam. “But you didn’t know that, did you?”

“Why would I -” Sam started, and stopped himself mid-sentence, getting riled up. “Obviously I didn’t know! I would’ve used the other hallway!” He shrieked. Hell, he’d worked so hard to get her in. He’d bought her just before the store closed, running all the way there from his Economics class ending at 5 - and then left her with Garth, the friendly pharmaceuticals guy he’d convinced the day before, till he could come back to retrieve it. He’d even gone out twice before nightfall to make sure she got used to seeing him, and didn’t make much noise when he finally brought her into the building, disguising her box as a really fluffy pillow. To keep up the act, he’d even bought the only cushions available at Garth’s store - old, pink ones with the AIDS ribbon on them. 

“I have a cousin who’s been bred the same way as me, and he lives on the other side of you.” Gabriel tells him, cutting into his reverie, and Sam can hardly tell if it’s supposed to be a joke. “It’s really rather me than him, though.” Gabriel deadpanned.

“Why?” Sam frowns, flailing on the inside, but trying to keep it together. “You both would just rat me off to the warden.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.” Sam scrunches his nose at that bit, but Gabriel doesn’t seem to care. “Balthazar? He, uh, has a bit of a crush on you. My bet is, he would’ve used that information to blackmail you into going out with him - and his dream chick-flick would end with the both of you co-parenting your cat, and his dog. Who I totally didn’t just tell you about.” Sam’s eyes widen. What does he even say to that? “But me? I’m a simple man, seeking simple pleasures.”

Sam gathers the courage to ask. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m obviously going to let you retain full custody of your cat.” Gabriel declares, solemnly. Three fourths of the time, Sam can’t tell if it’s a joke. “And I’m obviously not going to tell that bitch of a warden.”

Sam relaxes a little. “Thank you.” He says, smally.

“But I do have a small condition.” Gabriel now breaks into a gummy smile with zero warning, and it’s almost blindingly adorable, and Sam is almost unprepared. “I won’t tell anyone - and I mean, anyone - if you let me come over and pet it when I’m feeling stressed.

Sam looks at him in bewilderment. “What?”

“What?” Gabriel argues, folding his arms on his chest stubbornly. The smile is gone. “I explained it fairly well, so you know what I mean.” A little softer, he added. “Are you in?”

It may be a weird choice, but it’s not really a tough choice to make. “I - yeah. You know what? I am.”

“Wow.” Gabriel leans back, and visibly relaxes himself. “I didn’t have to beg.” He laughs, and suddenly it’s very clear that all the seriousness was just an exterior. Sam looks at him, captivated. 

Before he can think of what he’s saying, he’s let out a, “You kidding? I’d thought I’d have to at least plead. And give you something that wasn’t petting rights.”

Gabriel easily winks at him and Sam has to fight off the slight urge to blush before it shows up. “What would you have given me?”

“Peace.” Sam shrugs, sidestepping the innuendo. “Done your assignments for a month, or something. Got someone to do it, maybe. Whatever, dude. I would’ve figured something out in exchange for your valuable silence.”

“I now feel bad for accepting the first offer on the table.” Gabriel has a baleful expression, and Sam can’t help his own smile.

“It was your offer.”

“Yeah, fine.” Gabriel scowls. “I’d take an emotional support cat over no homework anyday.” Then he pauses dramatically, with a look befitting a questioning of one’s entire existence. “Wait, would I?”

“Yep, you would.” Sam tells him, not bothering to question his own conviction, but the smile coming to him way more easily now. It could honestly have gone a lot worse. And if this Gabriel guy truly only wanted to get to spend time with a cat, in return for not telling on him - how bad could he even be? Also, he’d only asked for permission for when he’s stressed - and though Sam doesn’t mistrust the abilities of college to stress a student, that probably, hopefully means that Sam’s not going to have to share a lot of his cat either.

“I probably would, yeah.” Gabriel sighs, and he sounds so deeply moved by the realization, and is sporting such a doleful sadness, Sam is laughing again - already warming up to the guy.

***

Somehow, time flies by with them getting to know each other, and it’s almost midnight when Gabriel is preparing to leave, and says one last time. “It’s been a pleasure dealing with you, Sam.” He drops the serious tone almost immediately. “Also, there goes the literal last time I ever call you by your actual, full name.”

“It’s actually Samuel, and shut up and please call me Sam.” Sam jokes, before adding. “And I suppose you’d want to shake on it now?” Referring to their deal. 

“How did I not think of that?” Gabriel looks positively ashamed of himself. “I’m so proud of you, Samphire. Awesome. Now bring her out!” Sam stares at him in confusion, till he imitates the frankly adorable motion of holding a tiny paw, and Sam laughs, nodding.

“Fine.” He reaches under the bed to pull out Amelia’s box, and she’s not very asleep apparently, because she almost immediately opens an eye when Sam picks her up. It’s a groggy look she spares in his direction, before looking at the new person. Some part of Sam wonders if she’d like Gabriel - and most parts of him are sure that she would. But a small part of him says that if she doesn’t, the deal would be off, and Gabriel would just have to make do with no homework instead.

She’s not very large, and Sam had big hands - so it’s an adorable contrast to Gabriel, who instantly holds out his hands for her. 

Sam feels a beat of hesitation in handing her over, he’d not thought he’d be doing it to anyone - not recently, anyways - but Gabriel has such an expectant, excited look on his face that Sam’s unexplainable walls melt off enough for him to hand her over. “Meet Amelia.”

Gabriel instantly cradles her in his arms, muttering in Sam’s general direction. “Come on, you can do better than that when you’re introducing her.”

Sam rolls his eyes, but holds his hands out for her. “Fine, give her back, I’ll try again.”

Gabriel doesn’t make any moves to give her back. “You need to practise first.” While he focuses all his attention on the small cat he’s holding. Crap, she fits so much better in his arms, she manages to look average-sized. When Gabriel spontaneously meows at her, she purrs back, and Gabriel’s eyes go as wide as saucepans. “Oh my god, she’s perfect.” He whispers, completely sincere, before meowing again; but this time she doesn’t oblige him with an answering purr - probably more asleep than Sam had thought - though she noses slightly against his palm and Gabriel audibly gasps. 

Sam finds himself smiling at the two of them. He clears his throat, and repeats, uncaring of how goofy it sounds. “Gabriel? Meet the lady of my life, Amelia Catheart.”

Gabriel turns his eyes up to Sam’s unpainted ceiling. “Jesus, what a nerd I’ve managed to unearth.”

Sam swats at him. “It’s a clever pun, okay?”

“It’s the most cliched pun to ever exist.” Gabriel swats back. “You call that clever? You would’ve just as soon named her J.R.R. Tolkitten.”

“That’s pretty good.” Sam mumbles, under his breath. “But that’s more like a guy’s name. But hey, before the whole twitter discourse, JK Meowling was on my list.”

“Of course, it was.” Gabriel sighs. “You wanna hear cool cat names, Samwise? I’ll give you some.” Amelia doesn’t make a single movement, probably dozing off again, as he lists off his fingers on his other hand. “Catsanova. Meow. Uh, Fuzzinator. Shakespurr.” He looks incredibly proud of himself.

“Why does Shakespeare get to be on your list?” Sam frowns.

“Hey, hey, hey. Old Bill wrote a lot of gay romance, so he gets a wild card entry.” Gabriel informs him, knowledgeably. “Also, the list goes on. There’s so many wonderful names! There’s even customized ones. Cat-vak. Nocat?” He laughed breathlessly. “Wait, what’s your last name?”

“Winchester.”

Gabriel gasps theatrically, pulling at Sam’s sleeve as the idea comes to him. “Pawschester!”

Sam blinks. “Wow.” He squirms. “We could make that her last name, you know. Amelia Pawschester is awesome.”

“Oh, but it’s too late.” Gabriel smirks, annoyingly.

Sam scowls. “It’s not too late, she’s not gotten used to Catheart, I never call her that - I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if she’s named -”

“Nope.” Gabriel teases. “It’s too late, Sammich. You lost your chance at having your cat’s name match her dad’s. And at having a cat with a cool name. What’s done is done.”

Sam flicks at him, frowning. “Shuddup.”

“The time has gone by,” Gabriel laughs, egging him on. “Alas! Even you know, in the depths of your heart, that it is too late. Don't you wish you met me before? Before your cat lost her chance at -”

“Everything about my cat is perfect, you shut your mouth.” Sam jutted his chin out boyishly, crossing his arms tighter on his chest, and Gabriel throws his head back and laughs.

“Okay, now that I can agree with.” Gabriel loses the edge, and shoots Sam the cheesiest smile ever, making him melt into a mirroring grin, before returning to being fascinated out of his depths by the completely asleep cat in his arms.

***

It’s only been a couple of days, that there’s a knock on Sam’s door at eleven in the night - followed by a voice singing his name, which he recognizes almost immediately. He may have been thinking about it. 

But, safety first, and just to be sure, he decides to put Amelia down in her box. “I’ll be there in a minute!” He calls, urgently, getting up from his seriously comfortable spot on the bed. She mewls softly, but doesn’t do much else to object when Sam mumbles an apology and pushes her box under the door, and goes to the door.

Sure enough, it’s Gabriel. He’s wearing a jumper, which is strange because Sam’s only in a v-neck. But then, most things about this man are strange. Gabriel looks up at him with a wide smile. “So?” He draws out the vowel. “Were you, like, doing your homework completely naked, or just cuddling with your super secret cat?”

Sam gives him a look, one which he hopes manages to convey how much of an inconvenience it was to get up for Gabriel’s sake, as he lets him in with an exaggerated shushing gesture - he doesn’t want word to get out that he has a cat to cuddle with, in the first place. 

***

Almost a week later, after Gabriel’s spent around two hours in his room, talking to Sam about what a crappy day he’s had because of his ridiculous group for a Community project; and talking to Amelia about how she’s really, really soft and how he loves her very much - just before he leaves, he turns to Sam with a playful look in his eyes. 

“Guess what I was thinking of in bed last night.” He starts.

“No offense, but I don't think I want to know.” Sam returns, grinning.

“Oh, wait. You mean, like that? Well, I was absolutely all over Sirius Black.” Gabriel threw back, letting out a dreamy sigh which made Sam snort. “But this is different, you perv. I was thinking about us having a password.”

“How do you mean?” Sam frowns. 

“Like, I’ll knock and say the password, and then instead of you having to get up and put her in her box and wrap up your designated quota of anxiety, you just say the word and I could let myself in.” Gabriel suggests.

“You really did watch too much Harry Potter last night, didn’t you?” Sam teases. But he doesn’t hate the idea. Would save him a lot of effort, really. “And, I don't think I mind us doing that. As long as the code’s only known to us.”

“Obviously.” Gabriel nods.

“So, what will it be?” Sam asks, as Gabriel stands up and hands his cat back to him. Amelia purrs a little - he’d specified needing a quieter cat at the shop, and such a wise decision that’d been - and gets comfortable in his arms, as he cradles her. Fuck, he was never going to get used to this feeling of bliss associated with having a pet who loves you. 

“How about ‘Gabriel and Amelia Forever’?” Gabriel laughs.

“How dare you,” Sam scowls, but doesn’t mean it at all. “It should rather be, ‘Sam and Amelia Forever’.”

Gabriel instantly furrows his brows. “Nope. That makes her sound like your girlfriend - I’m sorry but you’ve got a name that totally sounds like some human-Amelia’s type - and I don't think I like that very much.”

What do you even say to that, so once more, Sam nods. He’s absolutely not turning pink. That would make no sense at all.

“You know what? We’ll decide it later.” Gabriel picks up his stupidly neon jacket, goes to leave. “I’ll text you or something. I think I should get back to my room now. Because someone revoked their offer to do all my stuff for a month.”

“It’s still a fair deal.” Sam counters, as Gabriel waves at Amelia in particular. 

“I know.” Gabriel agrees, emphatically. “You let me pet your cat, and rant to you.” His voice grows thoughtful. “Wait, did I ever thank you for all of it, Sammich?”

He’s so serious that Sam doesn’t know how to reply at all. Words cling to the insides of his mouth. But he clears his throat, and mutters, “You know we don't mind it at all, right?” He turns to Amelia, who just blinks, to reinforce his point. He doesn’t want to go into details, not about how he truly does enjoy every bit of this - and doesn’t want to turn sappy randomly, so pretending your cat sought all your attention all at once is easily the best way to deal. 

Gabriel is quiet for a while, probably contemplative, but Sam only looks at him properly after a moment has passed. “Right. Yeah. Thanks.”

“You don't have to say that -”

“Nah, this is for the part about you not minding it.” Gabriel tells him, and though he says it so simply, it’s wonderfully difficult to comprehend. “Just - I should go, okay. Goodnight, Samwise.”

“It just keeps getting worse.” Sam rolls his eyes. Because it was true. It was almost amusing the first few times, and a few of the names were cheesy enough to earn a smile, but it just kept on growing more and more ridiculous. 

“Goodnight, Amelia Catheart.” He adds, ignoring Sam.

“Sure. Her, you call by name! I might not, but she gets the basic right of being called by her own -” Sam begins.

Gabriel cuts him off with a smile so happy that Sam is temporarily stunned, and definitely thrown off enough for the latter to make his escape. Sam swears under his breath, though he doesn’t really know why he does it - and lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’s been holding.

***

They do decide on a password after all. It’s ‘The Tin Man’, because that’s from the Wizard of Oz, just as munchkins are. And Amelia’s a munchkin, so that worked out.  In fact, Sam is very impressed when Gabriel justifies it to him later - especially by how unobvious it is - and the both of them are very proud of themselves for it.

For a week.

Then, Gabriel says that he thinks Harry from the room next to Sam’s has been looking at him weird - probably because he heard him giggling out ‘Tin Man’ more than once, outside Sam’s door. Sam thinks that makes sense. They decide to reconsider their choice. And this time, go with something that’s easier to justify.

Sam agrees, and they set about thinking again, till Gabriel suggests that the best code is not just one which is unobvious, but one which is completely random. Again, this makes perfect sense to Sam, and he instantly suggests something which Gabriel claims he’ll always be able to justify.

So then, as one does, they start using ‘ramen’.

***

 Amelia hasn’t known many people since she started living with Sam - only Garth, and that one afternoon of Dean. But now, there’s Gabriel, and not only does he adore her - he’s terrific.

After a while, it becomes sufficiently clear that Gabriel doesn’t only come over when he needs to feel better - he comes over, more so because he wants to be with Amelia and her parent. He asks Sam questions about her, and Sam has never enjoyed having a pet so much before - because now, he gets to share these little things with someone. He gets to tell someone, that for some reason, Amelia loves it when he pretends to have gotten hurt, because she’s always prompt in stepping up to meow at his “wounds”. Gabriel corrects Sam when he calls it offering condolences, with a snicker, and a, “Your cat may be a sadist, Samantha.” Sam justifiably swats at him.

He now gets to show someone how Amelia totally dances to November Rain. He gets to think aloud and what he’ll feed her for dinner, and how she’s earned a treat - and all those things that he used to have to keep to himself.

He also gets to have someone to crib to, when one fine morning, Amelia tears through his new textbook in her exploration of her claws probably - but it’s a textbook that costs more than a fortnight of meals, so that’s that. Gabriel, angel that he is, offers to come and take Amelia to his room for the day, because Sam stubbornly claims he doesn’t want to see her right now - but then Sam pleads him to take her away to just another corner of Sam’s room, and Gabriel agrees with a rather understanding nod.

Initially, he used to be a little bit jealous - of how easily Amelia fell in love with Gabriel, but Gabriel and Amelia can have so much fun together, that Sam goes back to his habit of turning on the music unless someone hear her purr - like he used to do, during the first few days of having her. But he’s far from envious now, and happily joins in. Pretending to be the victim, of course.

Gabriel brings her treats too, because he happens to go out for some reason or the other almost everyday, while Sam stays in with his assignments and pet, after their classes. He doesn’t want to leave her alone for any more time than he absolutely has to. So Gabriel brings back cookies, and they smell so good that it’s useless trying to convince her it’s an empty box, so that she could be surprised later.

One of the best parts is when Amelia does something absolutely fascinating randomly, and he doesn’t have to be the only one gushing over it. The other day, she managed to get herself inside Sam’s pencil stand, and kept peeking at him from there as if keeping a check on him - and Sam didn’t have to think twice before taking a picture and sending it to Gabriel. Who replied with an involuntary keysmash, several heart-eye emojis, and proceeded to show up outside his door within two minutes, urgently whispering, ramen. 

All in all, Sam kind of loves having someone who loves Amelia around. More than he would’ve imagined, but that’s probably owing to the more particular fact that it’s Gabriel. And Amelia certainly doesn’t mind having another kinda-sorta dad around either, so there’s that.

***

Almost a month later, when Gabriel falls sick, Sam realizes he misses him more than a lot. They text, and Sam sends him pictures of the more mediocre things too, but it’s not the same thing as spending your nights regularly staying up with someone, sitting on the floor and discussing your respective lives while playing with your absolute darling of a cat - a schedule that makes sense, because this way she sleeps for most of the time, they both have college. 

It’s not the same thing at all. So, he figures out a way to make it work. 

The next morning, when he’s only just leaving for his lectures, he doesn’t persuade Amelia to go back to sleep. He instead starts prepping the pillow thingy from how he first brought her in, pulling a large pillow cover on her bed - yeah, Amelia’s not sleeping in a box now, they’ve bought her a proper basket - and setting off with his bag slung over one shoulder, trying to be nonchalant about carrying such a large, floofy thing while on his way to class.

He wants to surprise Gabriel really, so he hasn’t told him anything about this idea - though it feels infinitely weird to be on the other side of the door, knocking and whispering ‘Ramen’.

Almost on cue, Harry - who just fucking happens to have been walking by - gives him a weird look. 

Sam has no idea how Gabriel does it.

It’s easier soon, when he hears a surprised, ‘Come In!’ In a voice which is definitely Gabriel’s, though it sounds different, probably because he’s sick. Sam walks in, excited to show Gabriel what he’s brought with him, and finds Gabriel all piled up in a bed under a couple of blankets. “Morning, Samshine.” He greets, smiling - and instead of looking miserable, he manages to look so goddamn comfortable - that Sam just wants to take his cat-containing-pillow and get in bed with him. 

“Wait.” His eyes widen. “Is that -”

“Yep.” Sam announces. Gabriel’s eyes visibly light up, and his eyebrows disappear in his hair. Sam feels proud of himself. “I figured you missed her.” He adds, and it’s not a lie, but it’s definitely not the complete truth. But Gabriel nods so enthusiastically, that Sam sets her down on the bed and begins to excavate the cat from the cotton. 

Soon after, Gabriel shoos him away, reminding him that he’s got classes to get to - bringing in a mention of Professor Zachariah and latecomers as his final card, and Sam leaves. He suspects Gabriel’s more excited to get rid of him because he’s never gotten to spend time with Amelia alone - the closest he’s got to that is when Sam’s studying on his desk and he’s playing with her on Sam’s bed. He’s a little surprised how little he minds leaving Amelia with Gabriel now, because he had totally anticipated some first-day-of-preschool parent-blues. But he isn’t worried about her enough to bunk his lectures, and get back to the latter’s room - though it’s a temptation he has to fight; the chance to spend the day with his cat and his - uh, well, Gabriel. 

That night, Sam works on his midterm paper in Gabriel’s room, and later brings them both dinner from the mess. It feels strange to be the one ‘providing’, in a twisted sense of the word, but he suspects it’s just the feeling of entering a room that’s not as cramped as his, and seeing the two of them curled up in bed. It was a good thing Amelia was a cuddler sort, otherwise Sam and Gabriel would’ve tired her entirely.

After dinner, he decides that it’s probably too much work to take Amelia back for the night - and it’s a risk he doesn’t want to indulge in needlessly. Gabriel supports this decision wholeheartedly, and for the first time in months, Sam’s going to sleep in his room alone. 

(It’s not that big a deal at all, but again, it feels weird enough that a few hours in, Sam moves back to Gabriel’s room with an actual pillow this time. It’s only because Gabriel is sick and won’t be able to take care of Amelia, he reasons, and Amelia might get feisty during the night and make his condition worse - and it’s several such excuses he makes to no one in particular, because Gabriel just hums his affirmation within a minute. He settles on Gabriel’s couch for the night. Yeah, Gabriel has a couch, while Sam uses a beanbag to welcome his guests. It’s not large enough, but it’s comfortable, and he wakes up, breathing laboriously, only to find his cat curled up on his chest, and a weighted stare from Gabriel, which makes him pink, because he just might have been watching them sleep.)

***

A few more weeks go by, and it’s closer to finals now. Sam’s at his desk, with Amelia warm in his lap, not making a sound because she’s brilliant like that when Sam’s working - and it’s one of the favorite parts of his day. He’s already finished his first draft, and is skimming through for the first time of necessary edits before he’s done for the afternoon, and can watch a movie when Gabriel arrives. He sips from his travel mug, because he’s been putting off washing the regular one - and is almost too concentrated when there’s a knock on his door. 

“Ramen,” follows in a singsong voice, and Sam is smiling as wide as ever as he saves the changes, and resolves to come back to it later, before closing the file. The door opens, and sure enough, reveals Gabriel - he’s in an orange turtleneck, which would look ridiculous by itself on a rack, and he’s carrying multiple packets in his hands. 

“Surprise!” He announces, latching the door behind him. 

Sam gets up, after Amelia has jumped nimbly from his lap and pattered over to Gabriel - and follows the route his cat took to Gabriel. “What’s this?” He asks, reaching out to glance at it, when Gabriel holds it out. 

They’re cat toys. A whole damn lot of them. Sam doesn’t even recognize most, he’s sure, as his eyes widen. He registers the things which he does know of - catnip, chew toys, a scratching pad, many plush colored mice which are also chew toys, and, “Oh my God.”

“Do you think,” Gabriel gushes, excitedly. The happiness is contagious, and Sam has a smile as well. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

“Of course,” Sam mumbles. Amelia never had many cat toys - only the most traditional ones, which Garth and Dean contributed to, actually. With buying a cat, and then having a pet to feed - his expenses had gone up fairly enough, so he hadn’t been able to spare much thought to buying them. “This is ridiculously too much, Gabriel.”

“Oh, shush,” Gabriel said, cheerfully. “I blame Pet Empire, for having such a cute cat section, and you, for making me want to make your cat happy!” Sam chuckled. “I didn’t even get the big stuff, you know, because it would be slightly harder to explain if I dragged a Tower of Toys through the hallway.”

Sam pales a little at the thought, but nods. 

“If you want, though, we can go get one of those assemble-at-home kits, and put it together on a sunday and -”

“This is too much.” Sam repeats, feeling a sort of happiness for Amelia that mostly beats the embarrassment at having her treated to so many things by Gabriel. “Ridiculously.” He adds, as before.

“Oh. Shush.” Gabriel repeats, laughing, as he holds out another packet specifically for Sam to hold, and puts the rest of the things on the floor for Amelia to examine now. 

Sam peers inside, and frowns. “Gabriel. I’m not going to make her wear clothes.”

Gabriel frowns back, harder, like it’s a challenge. “But you wear clothes, don't you?” He nudges, and it’s not a challenge again, but his frown deepens. 

“Gabriel, I’m not accepting any-” He begins, but brings out the garment and let out an involuntary gasp. It’s a grey sweater, and it’s so soft, and there’s a cat’s whiskers and eyes on the front, and it’s absolutely adorable, and it is making him melt on the inside. “Holy shit.”

“I got one for me too!” Gabriel tells him, beaming at him. “They sold it in pairs, and it was just the best thing ever!”

A his-and-his kitten sweater, Sam’s brain instantly goes to - but he makes it stop before he can externally lose it. “I -” He tries to find the words in which he’s going to ask Gabriel to take it back, because this is completely off-occasion, and he hasn’t ever gotten Gabriel anything and Gabriel bought his cat so many toys and him the nicest sweater he owns and -

“You can’t not like it.” Gabriel boasts, and he looks so terribly certain of himself, in that typically smug way of his - that Sam loses the fight in him. 

“Just - uh. Thank you, okay?” He mumbles.

Gabriel waves his hand dismissively, but he’s wearing a huge smile and Sam doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, but he’s blushing, and it’s just - a really great moment, okay? Right before Gabriel perks up and says, “Guess what I did for the size, though? Just asked for the largest size in the boy’s section.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Like I’d have asked for the smallest, if I were shopping for you?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Gabriel replied, not even bothering to look offended and Sam huffs a breath.

He grins back, and with another glance at Amelia on the ground with all her toys in the bag and her trying to paw them out, remembers his resolve. “Okay, smartass. Thanks, again, I guess. But I mean, why this stuff? What is it today?”

“See, now I want to say that it’s our anniversary because I dig cheesy, but I don't remember what day it was when I first assaulted you for petting rights, and in case you do, it’ll just be embarrassing when I get it wrong.” He snickered, and earned a snorting laugh from Sam. No, he didn’t remember either. Just knew that it’d been April. Because he’d been reading something for English, and he finished his semester in May. It must’ve been a tuesday, because he was weirdly sure it was meatloaf day at the mess. And - it doesn’t matter, does it? 

 “Well then, what is it for?” 

“I guess,” Gabriel starts, seriously. “I didn’t want Amelia to think I’m only using her for her stress-relieving fur.”

“I’m almost a hundred percent sure that she doesn’t think that.” Sam consoles him, sincerely.

“But like, just to be sure.” He winks at Sam, and Sam feels the tension from before returning. “And even if I’ve only been using her for selfish purposes, I should at least be a sugar daddy right.”

Sam chokes. “How do you come up with this stuff?”

Gabriel shrugs, a smirk playing on his lips. “Your cat’s stress-relieving awesomeness-inducing magic fur.”

Sam throws his head back and laughs. “Do I need to get Amelia checked for growing drugs on herself, or something?”

Gabriel sighs. “You know, you just might.”

“Shuddup, my cat is perfect.”

And yeah, those words have definitely been said before, but Gabriel is solemnly nodding and Sam doesn’t mind being an unoriginal, ardent admirer of Amelia. At all. 

Amelia seems to acknowledge their existence at this point, and claws at Sam for help in getting the things out of their plastic packaging. Sam gives her a look for the clawing, but she meows back stubbornly. Almost too loud, and Sam winces.

“Look what you did.” He glares at Gabriel. “Spoiled my perfectly nice cat, is what you did.” He adds, because Gabriel doesn’t look guilty at all.

“I’ll deal with her.” Gabriel tells him, kneeling down on the floor, so that he can give all of his attention to her. He begins to undo the wrappings. “We’re just two attention-seeking peas in a pod, aren’t we, Amelia?” He looks up at Sam with a wink, because she’s gone quiet almost immediately as Gabriel brought out the cat wand, trying to learn how to play with it, maybe.

Sam sighs, but it’s mostly pleased. “Fine. Justify her behavior. Let her make noises now. I’ll drop her off at your room at night, and see how you like it then.”

“Well, it’ll guarantee you sleeping there too, so I don't think I’ll hate it very much,” Gabriel returns, like it’s on the tip of his tongue, and Sam swallows at the remark. 

“Shut up.” Ignoring his turn to contribute to the bickering, he instead offers, “Well, I’ll just put on some music in case she makes noises too catlike for me to justify as you doing impressions.”

“I’m really doing wonders for your sense of humor.” Gabriel tells him, snorting loudly, and Sam rolls his eyes before getting up like a good host, to go through what he has. He easily finds a playlist for popular songs of the decade, because he’s not in the mood to look for songs specifically - and puts it on shuffle. 

Justin Timberlake comes on, and music fills the room loud enough to drown out all sounds Amelia could make. Like it’s supposed to do, really.

But Gabriel stares at Sam, wide-eyed. “I don't think you want to be playing that song right now, Sambo.”

Sam raises an eyebrow at him. “Why not?”

“How do I put this?” Gabriel pursed his lips. It wasn’t clear if he was stifling a smirk, or his discomfort. “Everyone on the floor already thinks we’re banging, so playing sex songs like that doesn’t help.”

Sam almost objects to it being a ‘sex’ song, before realizing simultaenously that maybe it was one, and also that that wasn’t important. Gabriel has his hands shoved in his pockets.

Sam blinks at him, incredulous. “They think what?”

“Wait, you had no idea?” Gabriel actually looks taken aback, as he goes on. “Come on. We lock ourselves in your room, blaring music loud enough to drown out any sounds, practically for hours every night.”

“We spend afternoons together too.” Sam mutters, short-circuiting, and focussing on the dumbest part. And moving to another. He isn’t really thinking about what he’s saying right now - it’s coming from his lips, but he can’t truly be thinking these things, can he? He should be thinking things like how disgusting that is, how he instantly needs to go out on a date with someone else, not that he’s ever gone on a date with frigging Gabriel! Just - 

“Sam?” Gabriel asked, looking just a little bit concerned.

“How could anyone have so much sex?” Sam blurted, unthinking.

But Gabriel didn’t seem to mind his off-topic comment, and replied smoothly. “See, you’ve not had sex with me yet, so you don't know just how easy it is.”

And Sam blinked at him - not knowing what to freak out about, or in what order. The fact that everyone thought he was doing it with Gabriel, or the fact that Gabriel had just casually slipped in a ‘yet’. In any case, Amelia meowed at him pointedly, as if asking him to turn his attention from these pieces of information handed to him back to her, so that they could play with the toys Gabriel had bought her together - because Gabriel was already picking out mobby mouses, lattice balls, caterpillar teasers and whatnot; ignoring Sam’s gaze with just that hint of a smirk. 

***

Okay, so I took a terribly long time with this, but in my defense, it turned out super fucking humongous. The original prompt got messed up, and I’m sorry to everyone who was subjected to it. It’s a prompt by @rauko-is-a-free-elf and I loved it! I hope you had a good time reading that giant schmoop of fluff, and here’s my dear taglist: @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @styggtroll @adventurous-blob @petrichoravellichor @all-or-nothing-baby @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect @moderatelypanickedbiromantic @elvenlicht @legendary-destiel @a-mess-of-many-fandoms @trenchcoatsandfreckles @noemithenephilim @naitia @ladywaywarddsc @zoerayne2426 @hellfire37 @3dg310rdsupreme @thekidsmaybealright @impulsivedandelion @galaxy-charm I think that’s about it. If I’m missing anyone, I’m so sorry, but I keep forgetting to update my damn taglist. I’ll do it soon!!! Bye, and have a nice day!

~ Sheya

#sabriel #supernatural #supernatural crack #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagine #sam winchester #sam winchester stan #gabriel #gabriel novak #sammy has a pet! #domestic sabriel #long post!!!! #sabriel fluff #sabriel ficlets #sabriel au #cats #munchkin #pets of tumblr #dean winchester #implied destiel #being in love with an animal #u w U

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Spn 15x09

BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!

Uff. What an episode. There is a lot to unpack here, in a good way. On the one hand we have Dean and Cas’s storyline and once again we can speculate how much fanservice there is, though I rather felt that now that we are in the final season every story thread has to come to an end and things that have been unsaid before need to be put in words in order to give everyone’s story a satisfactorily ending. On the other hand we had Sam’s trip in the future, a very meta heavy part of the episode, that leads to a lot of speculation how the show might end.

But, as always, let’s take a closer look.

Cas and Dean’s excellent adventures in pur-gay-tory

We start the episode with Dean initially wanting to go after Sam and save him, until Cas reminds him about their priorities. Without the Leviathan flower they can’t finish the spell, they can’t trap Chuck, and therefore can’t save Sam, but more importantly save the world. Because this is obviously not just about Sam. In the past the brothers used to choose each other, despite the consequences it might would have for the world. Cas reminds Dean of the bigger picture and this is the first time the show hints that is no longer just about Sam and Dean, and them saving each other.

Once in purgatory we get of course a lot of reminders about the last time Dean and Cas spent there. Cas refuses to split up, not wanting to make the mistake again he did last time, though in the end he does the very same thing he did before: he separates from Dean in order to keep him safe. We don’t see exactly what has happened in the time between Dean passing out and finding Cas again. All we have is Cas’s word and I wonder if there is more to it, if something happened in that time that might become relevant later.

Dean once said that purgatory felt ‘pure’, so what better place to do some cleansing? Both Cas and Dean finally vocalize their feelings. Dean is, as always, hurt that Cas left. Cas on the other hand explains that he had no choice. Dean was not able to forgive Cas, so what else could he do? And more importantly Dean did not stop Cas from leaving. We have seen this behaviour so many times before: Dean gets angry, Cas leaves, Dean is hurt, and so is Cas because Dean never asked him to stay. We always joke that the biggest enemy on the show is miscommunication, but the writers use this tool to create tension and in the past to keep Dean and Cas’s story unresolved. But as the show is getting to an end it makes sense that we finally see them both using their words. Cas explaining why he left and why he is hurt. And Dean finally apologizing and admitting his anger issues. The prospect of losing Cas (for real) hits all his triggers, it makes him pray again, on his knees, crying. And though he might use the term ‘best friend’ (and well they are best friends) the way the scene was shot and edited and Jensen’s acting choices made it incredibly romantic.

On top of that we have several parallel between Dean & Cas and Sam & Eileen. Eileen questions at the end of the episode reality, just the way Dean did in 15x02. Cas told him that they are real, whereas Sam kisses Eileen (making this ship officially canon). In the future Sam was shown we saw Sam, Eileen, Dean and Cas all together, splitting them into two couples: Sam & Eileen and Dean & Cas. We learn that both Sam and Dean lose their respective partner some time later, though losing Cas seems to be the breaking point again for Dean, whereas Sam still had hope after losing Eileen.

Apart from that we learn while in purgatory that Benny is dead, though we are told this by a leviathan, therefore an unreliable narrator. Either they wanted to wrap up Benny’s story, informing us about his fate, or there is more to this, and Benny is not dead and might become relevant again.

Back to the future

Meanwhile Sam and Eileen are trapped by Chuck, though as Cas rightly pointed out, there is no risk that Chuck will kill Sam, because this is not the ending he wants. And well, it is all about the end now, isn’t it? And just like in “The End” Sam, like Dean back then, is presented with the future, with what will happen if they stick to their plan. But just as the future Dean saw in 5x04 didn’t come true (despite him refusing to say “yes” to Michael and Sam becoming Lucifer’s vessel) the question is now if the future Sam was presented will become true. Chuck claims he is omniscient, but that would deny any kind of free will. And we do know that free will does exist, that Sam and Dean not always act the way Chuck wants them do, like Dean refusing to kill Jack. And speaking of Jack (welcome back Nougat son), he is not present in any of the visions Sam saw, despite the fact that he will likely soon come back from the Empty.

We learn that without Chuck the world is unbalanced, that he is the one who kept the monsters in check, and that they will overrun the world once he is trapped. Sam and Dean will lose everyone they care about and in the end they will become monsters as well, killed by their friends (and Chuck implies that while this is the end of their story this isn’t even the worst to happen). A world without Chuck can’t exist. But… Chuck is not the only powerful player in the world. Amara is as powerful as he is, Jack is pretty powerful and there is still Michael. None of the three were mentioned or showed up in the future Sam saw, which doesn’t make a lot of sense. Also, while Amara was still locked up, the world was unbalanced as well (it even caused the first murder through the Mark of Cain), but it still held up. We are told that neither killing or locking Chuck up is the solution, so there must be a third option or Chuck did not tell Sam the truth, which I personally believe.

The damage however is already done, Sam has lost his hope, which somehow separated the connection between Sam and Chuck. It is Dean now who fights back, telling Chuck he never gets the ending he wants to see, so something is already different (in the future Sam had still hope whereas Dean was desperate). And speaking of endings, we learn that Chuck’s drafts are indeed memories from other worlds, all showing us the same thing: Sam and Dean giving up. The Butch and Sundance ending though, going out swinging? We only see that once Sam and Dean turned into monsters themselves. So this is an ending we are very likely not going to see. Sam and Dean alone, either killing each other or getting killed, this is Chuck’s vision and therefore not how the show ends.

We also learn about some other manipulations of Chuck: he arranged for Sam bringing Eileen back from the dead, so he could use her as a spy (and possibly as a bait). Obviously learning about all that made Eileen leave (at least for now), though the question is if Chuck still needs her, now that his wound is healed and he perhaps can see Sam and Dean again. We also see that Chuck doesn’t like to get his hands dirty, but instead uses Eileen to hurt Sam, watching the show. But it was implied that he killed everyone in the casino… or did he force the people there to do his dirty work as well?

Chuck also told Sam that he still thinks he is the hero of the story, that he can still win. We will see the consequences of Sam’s lack of confidence next week, because apparently Sam and Dean will no longer be the heroes of their stories, where they always (somehow) get a happy ending.

And something clever other people probably have figured out long ago and that just occurred to me now: the first episode Chuck appeared in was 4x18, “The Monster at the End of this Book”. The story is ending now, we are at the end of the book and who is the monster? Chuck.

#supernatural #spn meta #my meta #spn 15x09 #the trap

[kaesaaurelia]

up and running

For @whumptober2019 day 22: hallucination.

A continuation of/conclusion to day 2′s fic here.

This is a fic about an OC (Vehuel, Principality of Chicago) during the Great Chicago Fire.  There’s also a lot of Michael, and Heaven being a generally toxic work environment.

Content warning for FIRE EVERYWHERE, major destructive disasters, and (not medically realistic -- these are angels) traumatic brain injury + treatment of same.

Vehuel made her way northward slowly, trying to help all she could without being burnt up herself, gently pushing people westward if she could. Now that she knew Michael was here she was less worried about having her miracles cut off, but the fire was spreading so quickly and there were so many people. She pushed through the crowd, keeping children with their parents, healing burns and cuts, and plaguing pickpockets with sudden fits of conscience.

People were starting to run into the lake, and Vehuel hesitated as to what to do about them, but then Michigan Avenue caught fire and there was nothing for it but to leave them there. She realized suddenly that the fire was a few blocks from North Avenue, and here she was, nowhere near the church, so she ran west, praying (in an informal way, knowing that she couldn't answer such a prayer herself) that she wasn't leaving the people in the lake to drown or boil. She remembered the crowds at the docks in Lisbon, and reminded herself that no great wave would come out of Lake Michigan. Or at least, probably not.

Michael was standing on the roof, looking out over the city in a resigned sort of way. The flames were only a block away now.

"I'm here!" Vehuel called from the ground, feeling like she was absolutely ridiculous not to be able to fly.

Michael flitted down to meet her, though. "Quite a fire," she said, and frowned. "I don't think my miracle is going to hold it off."

Vehuel, soot-stained and exhausted, could not imagine what she could possibly say to this. "But how?" she asked; those were the only two coherent words she could come up with.

Michael was silent for a few moments. "Have you heard of Peshtigo?" she asked, finally.

Vehuel shook her head.

"It was a town, but it burned down yesterday. The whole town. Two thousand people are dead."

This was not at all helping Vehuel's urge to cry. "I'm sorry."

"Well, it's obviously not your fault," said Michael, frowning at her.

It wasn't obvious to her. She should have known this would happen, it was one of her towns so of course it was going to be destroyed; she should've influenced the city government for better fire safety, or slowed building, or something.

She remembered, queasily, all those building projects she'd helped along for the sheer delight of showing up Cerviel, that smug asshole, who had a New York-centric view of the solar system. How close was Peshtigo? Should she have been checking up on that instead of indulging her stupid competitiveness?

"There've been a few other fires today," said Michael. "Near here, geographically. This is the only place of any real significance, of course, but..." Michael continued talking, but Vehuel had a hard time listening, because a town of two thousand people was of real significance to those people, and now they were all dead, and they weren't even Vehuel's people, but really, all people were Her people, so they were significant, weren't they? But Michael hadn't meant that like it sounded, of course. Michael was brusque by necessity, and very important and busy and probably shouldn't even be here, and certainly didn't have time for Vehuel's philosophizing, and she was the only person in Heaven who'd ever listened to Vehuel so really, Vehuel owed her everything. "...to hunt up any evidence of a demonic firebug. What do you think?"

"Ah." Vehuel did not panic. "I think -- that -- maybe? But it hasn't rained for a long time, and it is prairie and forest up here. Could just be natural."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Michael, and she sounded like she actually would. The fire was almost upon them, and people trailed past. Many carried belongings -- hopefully their own, but Vehuel had seen looting on her way here. "And I think it's time to evacuate this church. Go in and hold the walls, Vehuel; I'll get the people out."

Vehuel walked straight through the wall of the church, and found an out-of-the-way place in the aisles to stand and keep the walls up. She watched Michael, unseen by humans, nudging them into greater efficiency, reminding them of things they'd forgotten, keeping people from being trampled underfoot. Vehuel was good at that kind of thing, but it was a relief not to have to think just now. No quick calculations about how fast someone could run, no moral conundrums about which person to save, no care to be taken to avoid startling the horses or the humans. Just bricks to protect.

And she cried, finally, wiping tears off her face and got soot in her eyes, which made the crying worse, of course. She let down the miracle that made her seem unremarkable to human eyes anywhere she went, and put everything into the walls. A few people stared openly at her; at a guess, this mostly-German congregation did not contain many colored women who dressed in men's suits. (Eventually, a man approached her and offered her a handkerchief, which she waved off.)

The church emptied out, and Vehuel could feel flames licking at the walls. She pushed back against them, leaned into them, but it was no use, because

the church was burning and everything was on fire, everyone was on fire in their All Souls' Day finery. The ground kept shaking and the flames rushed up over the pews, and it was all Vehuel could do to save a few people from being trampled as they fled. She tried to calm the ground, foolishly, but she couldn't stop an earthquake once it had hit, and it had hit hard. Flying over the town, she saw that there were fires springing up everywhere, walls coming down, people pouring out of churches, headed to the docks -- good. They would be safe by the water, away from walls, she was certain. She tried to keep the church from falling down around them, but it was too much to ask of reality, to ignore the ground buckling beneath, and the walls came down

right on top of her, and her whole left side was -- on fire? Was that fire? She couldn't even tell anymore.

"Why didn't you leave?" someone asked her, and she didn't know what to say. There were people inside! There was an earthquake! she wanted to say, but -- but -- everything hurt so badly she couldn't think. Someone was pulling her out from under the rubble -- someone was telling her she should have run -- someone was being, frankly, very annoying, and she tried to tell them to shut up but she couldn't seem to move anything.

She decided, to preserve whatever sanity she had left, that she didn't really need to be conscious for whatever was happening now. Either she would be discorporated or she wouldn't. It was in God's hands now.

--

"Oh, no, you don't want to go in there," said the Archangel Michael. "That's the infinite frictionless surface, we'll never get you out of there. Looks fun, though, doesn't it? Come along, my office is this way." She smiled, and led Vehuel further into the central offices of Heaven. She caught a brief glimpse of several angels skidding across a blindingly white floor, using their wings to balance.

There were so many other angels here, and so much light; it was strange and amazing and terrifying, and so unlike her posting in the far reaches of space. Everything looked so perfect, so correct. But it also hurt her eyes, so she closed most of them.

Michael sat down behind her desk, and Vehuel tried not to fidget, sitting in the seat across from it. She stared at the nameplate. Who is like God? Definitely not me, she thought. That was the point, probably. "You had some concerns about the behavior of light?"

This was it. She could say what she'd actually come here to say, or she could talk about the wave-particle glitch. She took a breath. "Actually. It's about my supervisor? Lucifer. He's...

There was too much light, and Vehuel tried to keep her eyes closed, but somebody was standing above her, telling her to do something she couldn't quite make out.

She felt the prickle of a medical miracle settle over her, and suddenly the jibberish resolved into "Vehuel, wake up, please?"

Everything hurt like Hell and she absolutely did not want to be awake right now. Still, an order was an order. She opened her eyes, or tried to. Something was wrong. Her left eye wouldn't open. "I'm awake," she muttered. She tried to focus. Was that Raphael? Possibly. She didn't entirely remember what Raphael looked like. Honestly, it could be anyone with a face.

"Good, good," said possibly-Raphael, although she could barely hear him. "You need to be awake for a while, I have to rebuild some parts of your brain."

"Are you Raphael?" she asked. "I can't tell. He has a face, you have a face, so I'm thinking... probably?"

The angel gave her a tight, worried smile. "Yes. We've met. You're in here every few centuries."

They probably had, but Vehuel was having trouble recalling specifics. "I feel really calm about this," she said. It seemed unusual, that she should be calm.

"That tracks," said Raphael, grimacing.

"I don't remember being calm about anything, ever," she said. "I think maybe I was calm once in 1450 BC, and then my island exploded.  Should I be concerned?  That doesn't seem like a good calmness result."

"You might be experiencing some memory issues," said Raphael, who was looking kind of upset now. "It's probably because you're missing half of your brain because somebody let an entire church that was on fire fall on you."  He sounded a little hysterical.

"Oh, don't be dramatic, Raphael, it was just one wall," said somebody on the other side of her.  "And it's not half of her brain.  A third at most."

Raphael glowered at whoever-it-was.  "Michael, this is ridiculous, we can't just send her back," he snapped. "She needs a full recorporation, or at least -- at least let me get her out of this body while I fix it.  Send her somewhere nice on holiday!  This is Heaven, there's got to be somewhere nice.  Damned if I've been there, though."

"Don't even joke about that," said Michael, darkly.  "How long would it take to fix the body without her in it?"

"About a year to do it properly. Maybe six months if I push the miracles to their limits.  Got to do testing, see that all the connections connect up right; it's easier with her in it but it's harder on her."

"We don't have time for that," said Michael.  "We need the city up and running, so we need her up and running."

"You seem really upset about this," Vehuel told Raphael. "I think, I think probably if I'm going to have a doctor they should be more calm about it than I am.  Maybe you should take a break?"

"You stay out of this!" Raphael snapped.  "Michael, how long do we have?"

Michael sighed.  "I'd like to get her back in a few hours.  This wasn't supposed to happen."

"Well, obviously it did, so on some level it was," said Raphael.  "A few hours, are you -- you know what, never mind, I'll just -- I'll see what I can do.  Get out of here, Michael."  Presumably, Michael left.  "Some people," Raphael muttered, "could use a full brain replacement."

"Is this going to hurt?" Vehuel asked.

"It's going to be... it's going to be odd," said Raphael.  "I'm sorry, we don't usually do these with the inhabitant still in the body the whole time.  For reasons I will not go into, because if you had your whole brain they would probably worry you."

It wasn't like she had anything better to do.  "Okay."

"And you won't be able to speak or understand things for a while," said Raphael.  "See, if I could take you out of this body it'd be fine but -- never mind.  A few hours?  A few hours!  I can't believe..."  And then the medical miracle fell away and he was speaking gibberish again.

It was definitely very, very uncomfortable.  Vehuel had had worse deaths, but none of them had ever felt as itchy and invasive as an archangel remaking her brain.  Intermixed with the discomfort, though, were strange little fragments of sensation.  She heard a song that had been inescapably, obnoxiously popular one year in Pompeii, so much so that somebody had rewritten it to be about his campaign for city council.  (He had not won.)  She tasted, vividly, the food at the best uttapam place in all of Vijayanagara, a weird little hole in the wall she used to go to after wrestling matches, and then, centuries and oceans apart, felt the press and the sound of the crowd at a chunkey match in Cahokia.  She saw the brilliant lights of the central bulge of the Milky Way galaxy, and the terrible darkness forming in the center, and thought, Oh fuck, what are we gonna tell Lucifer?

"Vehuel?"  It was Raphael.  "Vehuel, can you understand me?"

"Yeah?"  She remembered where she was.  She remembered what had happened.  "Shit shit shit I have to go, why can't I move?  Is it over?  Am I done?  I need to get back down there, there's a fire."

"Ah.  Yes, you're definitely back," Raphael said.  "Don't try to move, I still have to put your skull back on.  And your arm.  And your wings."  He sighed.

"Okay but I have to -- the city's on fire, the whole thing is --"

"That's exactly what I thought you'd say," said Raphael, unhappily.  "I think it would be best for both of us if you were asleep for the rest of this."

"But --"

Raphael waved his hand over her.

"You will have to make him trust you," said Michael.  Vehuel nodded.  "You will have to..."  She paused, as if feeling out what words she might use.  "You will have to say things that aren't true.  Can you do that?"

Vehuel didn't think she was very good at making people trust her.  She was good with fire and gravity and dust; other angels were more difficult.  But she had some experience with untruths.  Which she probably shouldn't admit to.  "I think so," she said.

"Good," said Michael.

"Um.  What if -- what if he -- what if he finds out early?"  Michael looked at her sharply.  "I mean!  I mean I wasn't planning to fail, but what if I do?"

She'd expected a bland reassurance; she wasn't meant to fail, so she wouldn't.  Michael did not give her that.  Michael manifested, from out of nowhere, an infinitely thin line with an arrow at the top.  "This is something called a weapon."  She handed it to Vehuel, or tried to.

Vehuel looked at it skeptically.  "That looks like a ray.  Like on your diagrams."  She gestured to the scratchpad in front of Michael.  "Or a line of force."

"Well."  Michael paused, looking a bit embarrassed.  "Well, it is a line of force, really, but it's -- it's pointy, see?"  She jabbed the weapon into the wall, where it stuck.  "It should hurt him."

"Hurt him?"

"An unpleasant feeling.  He won't want to keep having it.  You'll be able to hold him off and get back here.  But I'd like the rest of them here too, if at all possible.  And once they're all here, I'll see to them personally."

Vehuel took the weapon, and turned it over in her hands.  "Well.  All right."  That sounded fair.  Michael would yell at Lucifer and everyone else, and they'd stop making terrible, frightening plans, and everything would be good again.

"Heaven is counting on you, Vehuel," said Michael.

She nodded.  "I -- I actually did have a problem to report about the light waves, though?"

"I'm sorry, I think I've got a meeting to go to," said Michael.  She made a face.  "I think it's about ions.  So fiddly!  Later, you can tell me what's wrong with the light waves."  She smiled, and showed Vehuel out.

Vehuel opened her eyes.  All of them.  All of them.  She closed thirteen of them. Way too bright.

She remembered about the fire again, and sat up, and nearly overbalanced and fell to the floor.  "The fire!" she said, not that that would help anything.  She looked around, and saw Haniel, Michael, and Raphael watching her.

"Don't worry, we sent some rain," said Haniel, looking very concerned.  "I'm sure that'll help!  Don't you think?  Anyway, you can relax.  You don't have to go back right away.  You can rest."  She patted Vehuel's shoulder.

"She's needed for the rebuilding," said Michael.  "She's very good at rebuilding," she added.

"I am, I really am!  Let me go back!" said Vehuel.

Haniel glared -- actually glared -- at Michael.  Haniel had never glared in her life.  "I'm sure the humans can manage for a month or so, Michael, they're not idiots.  Well, they're not complete idiots, anyway."

"That's true," said Michael, considering.  "We could have Cerviel check in on Chicago from time to time --"

"No!" said Vehuel.  "No, no, absolutely not."  Cerviel was not touching her city.  He'd probably forget to add alleys when they rebuilt.

"No, definitely not Cerviel, he's very busy," said Haniel.  "What about... we have someone in Los Angeles, don't we?  Can't we send them?"

Michael frowned at this.  "It's a long way to travel, though.  Do you remember who we have there?" she asked Haniel.

Haniel frowned.  "I..."

Vehuel decided to cut that line of thought short before it got anywhere worrisome.  "No, no, Michael's right, LA's too far to travel," said Vehuel, "and it'd be cruel to him to make him deal with Chicago weather.  I have to go back.  Just for a few years.  Come on, I've been through worse."

Haniel looked unhappy.  "That doesn't mean --"

"Well, I'm glad that's settled," said Michael.  She turned to Vehuel.  "Good luck with the rebuilding!  I know you can handle it."  Then she left.

"I still think this is a terrible idea," said Raphael.

Haniel shrugged at him.  "Apparently she's made up her mind."  She turned to Vehuel.  "Really, though, if you need some time..."  She looked hopeful.

"No, no, I -- I can't let Michael down," said Vehuel.

"Vehuel..."  Raphael sighed.  "The day you let Michael down I will shake your hand and get you a box or a basket or a bottle of whatever weird disgusting human thing you like best, all right?"

Vehuel blinked at him.  "Thanks?  I guess.  But look, I really have to go."  She got up to leave.  "But thanks!"

--

The surviving population of Chicago clustered raggedly in a few places along the lakefront and on the prairie north of the city.  They were drenched and burnt both, and many of them had lost everything; even if not, many of them had lost family.

Vehuel went from cluster to cluster, shepherding lost children back to their parents when she could, and healing burns -- except on pickpockets, because she was so tired of pickpockets by now -- and miracling up food.  The ruins of the city were so hot she could barely stand to fly over them, even at a great height, but she did, once.

And she remembered -- but did not see -- the population of Thera, saved by too many miracles and still homeless and terrified but alive. She recalled Lisbon after the earthquake and fire and tsunami, and the reprimand she'd earned from Gabriel when she'd allowed the prime minister to have the corpses burned rather than backing the church to make sure they were buried -- she'd seen Pestilence lurking in the ruins and would give him no foothold.  She'd earned that reprimand, and she was proud of it.

She remembered guiding that idiot Aeneas for a while.  Not her proudest achievement, but she'd managed to get him where he was supposed to be.  (And promptly gotten lost again for several years on her way back to Troy.  What had been wrong with the Aegean sea back then?)

Looking over the ruins of Chicago was difficult, and looking at the ruins of its citizens was even harder, in some ways.  But it was still a city.  It was just a city without a lot of buildings, for now.  And she was going to have to do her best with it.

#whumptober2019 #no.22 #cw: fire #cw: injury #cw: brain injury #cw: surgery #text #fiction #kaesa op #my ocs #good omens #michael good omens

[the--blackdahlia]

This Life Chapter 15

Title: This Life Chapter 15

Summary:  Dean Winchester is the Vice President of the motorcycle club The Hunters. After almost 7 years in prison, he's free. But things have changed and Dean has to figure out how to put things back together.

Warnings: Language, violence, character death

AN: Thank you darling @sams-serialkiller-fetish . The song for this chapter is Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2.

Dean and Benny were laying low outside of Phoenix as they waited for the others to show up. Ruby, Meg, Lucifer, Gabriel, and Andy were with them, ready to get revenge for John and save Sam.

“You okay brother?” Benny asked, watching Dean. He hadn’t spoken much since they had stumbled upon John’s body and a missing Sam. He had let Benny do all the calls. And once Bobby got word of what had happened and, after making Benny promise to explain everything once they got there, he told them that were leaving as soon as he hung up the phone.

“Peachy.” Dean grumbled.

“We’re going to get him back.” Benny said. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah.” Dean said, but Benny could tell that he didn’t believe it. Benny sighed. Dean was blaming himself. If he hadn’t gone to the bar with Benny and Andy, then he would have been there for whatever went down. He looked out over the horizon through the window of the motel room they were waiting at. Benny sighed and looked over at Lucifer and Gabe, who were in the connecting room with Ruby, loading up weapons.

“Him with a gun is a scary thought.” Benny mumbled, watching Lucifer. Andy looked up from what he was doing.

“Tell me about it.” He said. “Guy is ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag.”

“I think that’s the most accurate description I have ever heard in my life.” Benny laughed. Dean stood up then and went to the door, silencing Benny and Andy. Meg looked over from the other room. The room was silent as Dean opened the door.

“Picked a hard enough place to find kid.” Caleb said as he walked in. Jim, Cas, Bobby, and Garth were with him.

“Hey guys.” Dean said, accepting a hug from Bobby. “I’m sure you guys want to know everything.” The guys all looked at everyone hanging around the room.

“Yeah, that would be a good idea.” Benny said. So Benny explained it to them, giving all the details that he knew. Dean had told him some of the conversation with Sam, but not everything. He figured if Sam wanted the world to know, he would scream it from the rooftops.

“Holy shit.” Cas gasped. “I didn’t realize we were living in Days of our Fucking Lives.”

“So the Horsemen killed John for real and took Sam.” Jim said, standing with his arms crossed. Dean nodded quietly.

“Well, then, good thing we brought some good weapons in.” Bobby said. He looked at the group of Wayward Sons standing there. “What are they doing there?”

“We want to get our president back.” Andy said.

“But John’s dead.” Benny told them. Andy shook his head.

“I’m interim president, but Sam was our vice president. And upon John’s death, it seems fitting that Sam is now the president of the Wayward Sons Motorcycle Club.” Benny looked over at Dean. He could see his heart breaking. He knew that Dean was hoping he could convince Sam to come back with them to Wolfpine and serve as a Hunter. Benny even knew that if Dean stepped up as President, Sam would instantly become his vice president.

“Do I get to do some torturing?” Lucifer asked with a grin on his face. Gabriel sighed and nodded.

“Yes you do.” He told him.

“Good.” He smirked and went to organizing his knives.

“Who the fuck is that?” Caleb asked. Dean ran his hand through his hair.

“That’s Lucifer and his brother Gabriel.” Dean asked. He saw Caleb about to ask about the name. “Don’t ask. You’ll see why they call him that.”

“I brought us a little something.” Jim said, pulling a bottle out of a bag. “Some good ‘ol fashion whiskey straight from the motherland.”

“Jim, you were born in Minnesota.” Cas said. Jim laughed.

“Yeah, but my dad was born in Ireland, and so was my grandfather.” He looked around. “I didn’t bring glasses, but it I brought a sleeve of Dixie cups, so that should do.” He set out enough Dixie cups for the two clubs and poured whiskey into each one.

“For John.” Bobby said, raising his up.

“For John.” Everyone repeated before taking the shot. Jim had a smile as he watched almost everyone cringe. Ruby took it like a champ.

“Is there more?” She asked.

“Dear god woman. How did you do that?” Bobby asked. “That stuff is like paint thinner.”

“It wasn’t half bad.” She said. Jim poured some more in her cup.

“A woman after my heart.” He laughed.

“So, do we know where the Horsemen would be keeping Sam?” Cas asked after the cups had been tossed and they were all settled on the beds and in chairs.

“Benny and I got chased by them west of Phoenix.” Dean explained. Meg nodded in agreeance with him. “My guess is that it’s somewhere around here. And wherever it is, there either aren’t very many people around or they have them scared to death.”

“My guess is Aguila.” Meg said. “Small town. Quiet. The perfect place to hide. Especially if you scare enough of the residents.”

“Then let’s start there.” Bobby told them. He looked at the Wayward Sons. “I know you’re not one of us, but we share common family. Sam is like a son to me and I don’t want to see him dead.”

“Agreed.” Andy said. “Sam and I bonded pretty quickly. He’s the brother I always wanted. My twin died when we were just kids. And Sam has helped fill that void. I owe him so much.”

“Well, then let’s get to it.”

****

Aguila, Arizona

It was like a wave of terror washed over the small town as eleven motorcycles ascended on the residents. They weren’t sure if these men and women were friend or foe. They just stood off to the side or ran to their homes. They had an idea what was coming.

They knew they were in the right place when they found a building with a few bikes sitting outside of it. Most of them were a charcoal color. Except for one.

One that was pale yellow.

“That fuckers here.” Dean said as they drove past to make it look like they were just passing through. Benny glanced at him.

“Looks like he’s the only one.” Benny added. Dean nodded and they circled around, heading outside of town. They met up with everyone.

“Azazel is here.” Dean told them. “There’s a pale yellow bike, but no red, white, or jet black one.”

“So he’s alone. This feels like a trap.” Andy said. Dean shrugged.

“I don’t care.” He said. “He has Sam. I’m not letting him keep him.”

“Then why don’t we raise a little hell?” Ruby asked, a smirk on her face.

“They killed John. I say we slaughter each and every one of them.” Lucifer laughed. “Damn, this is like Christmas!”

“Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with him?” Caleb asked.

“Don’t ask.” Gabriel said. “Just leave it at that.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Jim asked, looking over at Bobby.

“Any suggestions?” Bobby asked.

“Molotov cocktails.” Meg suggested. “And guns a’ blazing.”

“I don’t care.” Dean said. “I’m getting in there and I’m getting Sam out.”

“Then let’s get in there!” Benny said. “And let’s get our boy out.”

****

Sam had dozed off at some point. He hadn’t touched the food that Azazel’s men had brought to him. You never knew what the psycho was capable of. He could have laced everything with rat poison for all Sam knew. His arm was a throbbing pain, but there were still painkillers running through his system that they must have injected him with when they brought him there. So he set in the uncomfortable metal chair with his hands cuffed to the table and his feet cuffed to the chair.

There was a loud commotion outside the door then, waking Sam up. He blinked and looked around at the sound of gunfire. He pulled on the handcuffs, trying to get out. He heard some screaming and…was that an explosion.

“Let me out!” Sam screamed, pulling so hard on the cuffs that it was cutting his skin. “Get me out of here!”

The door swung open then and Sam was ready to fight the best he could, until he saw who it was.

“Well, don’t stand on my behalf.” Benny joked.

“Oh thank god.” Sam said. “Get me out of here.”

“Where are the keys?” Benny asked, looking around.

“Hell if I know.” Sam said. “Not even a paperclip in here.” Benny nodded.

“Well, I’ll figure this out.” He went to work, searching the room and right outside to see if he saw any keys. “Damn it, where are they?”

“Looking for something?” Azazel asked, standing in the doorway. “MAybe these?” He had the keys dangling on one finger.

“Uh, yeah.” Benny said. “Why don’t you hand them over?”

“So you can take my son away from me? I don’t think so.”

“Son? What the fuck are you talking about?” Benny asked.

“He’s crazy.” Sam told him.

“Obviously.” Benny agreed. Eww

“Shut up!” Azazel screamed. Without warning, he fired the gun in his other hand at Benny. Thankfully, Benny was able to dive in enough time. Sam gasped and ducked the best he could. “Get up and face me like a man!”

Benny looked over at Sam to make sure he was okay before he jumped up and fired at Azazel. The other biker ducked into the hallway, missing the bullet. Benny hoped and prayed that Dean or someone else would show up soon, but they were fighting their way through the goons. Benny had gotten lucky and slipped through the cracks and found his way in to find Sam.

“Benny!” Sam said. “I can’t help you!”

“I know.” Benny went to try to break the cuffs, but it wasn’t working. “I’m getting you out of here.”

“Look out!” Sam screamed. Benny only had time to turn around before Azazel pointed his gun and fired, hitting Benny in the face and bringing him down. “BENNY!” Sam screamed, pulling on the restraints. Azazel walked to Sam and pointed his gun at him.

“Tell your mother I’ll be seeing her shortly.” Azazel said. Sam closed his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn’t want to see Azazel as he killed him too.

Bang!

Sam expected to feel a brief moment of pain followed by nothing. But nothing came.

“Sammy.” Dean said. Sam slowly opened his eyes, wet with tears, and looked to see his big brother standing there.

“D-Dean.” Sam said, tears flowing freely. Dean looked over at Benny’s body and closed his eyes for a second. Sam knew he was holding back the emotions that were right there on the edge. That’s when Dean hauled off and kicked the dead body he had just shot. Azazel limp body rolled with the force and the blood from the new hole in his body going all over the floor. Dean kicked him a few more times, some blood splattering up on his face.

“Dean.” Sam said, his voice small but cutting through the haze of anger. “Is Benny…” Dean went over to check on Benny, but it was obvious he didn’t survive. Dean grabbed the keys from Azazel’s lack fingers and went to unlock Sam. The once white bandage on Sam’s arm had a lot of red on it.

“Shit! Sammy!” Dean quickly undid the cuffs holding Sam in place and gently grabbed his arm.

“It happened when he shot…” Sam trailed off, closing his eyes. Dean pulled him down to him, holding him close.

“It’s okay.” Dean said. “All these fuckers are going to pay.” The sound of footsteps alerted Dean to danger and he held his gun, ready to shoot whoever came through the door.

“Easy kid! Lower the gun!” Caleb said, holding his hands up.

“Damn it Caleb, I almost shot you.” Dean growled, lowering the gun. Caleb saw Azazel’s dead body on the ground, and just a few feet away, lay Benny. “Oh god!” He ran over to Benny. “Jim!” He held his fingers against Benny’s neck as Jim and Bobby ran in.

“Balls.” Bobby groaned. Jim went with Caleb, but he shook his head. “Sam.” He went over to Sam and saw the blood on his arm. Jim came over and gently pulled the bandage away to show a nasty looking wound. “We’ll take care of this once we get out.” He looked at Dean.

“I want to go home.” Sam whispered softly as they made their way out to the others. Bobby was calling in some favors to help with Benny and the other bodies.

“I know Sammy.” Dean said, rubbing his back some. “Bobby, will you call Ellen and ask her to drive Baby out?”

“I’ve got her already bringing my truck out to pick up Benny’s bike. I’ll get Kevin.” Dean nodded. At this point, he didn’t really care. He just wanted to get Sam back to Texas safe and sound.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @i-would-die-for-woodland-demars @dekahg @marvel-af @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk

Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles Tags: @luciathewinchestergirl @sheris532 @bobasheebaby @flamencodiva @bella-ca

This Life Tags: @soulslaststand @jamielea81 @caplansteverogers @becs-bunker @supernaturalwincestsblog @colie87

Supernatural Tags: @bandobsession98 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @fangirlsencyclopaediaofweirdness @ilovetardis @missihart23 @cloudyskylines

#this life #sam winchester #dean winchester #supernatural #benny lafitte #Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #fanfiction

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

1x12 “Faith” // 3x10 “Dream A Little Dream of Me” // 8x01 “We Need to Talk about Kevin”

“If the Tin Man Misses His Heart, So Does an Entire Show“ - On 14x01 “Stranger in a Strange Land” and the Thing about Hearts, Love and Faith

“That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex. [...] Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already...dead.”

- Famine to Dean in 5x14 “My Bloody Valentine”

---

I admit, it is rather weird to write a piece of meta on an episode underneath a gifset that doesn’t feature a single scene from said episode. It doesn’t for good reason though and that being the fact that iTunes doesn’t have the episode available here in Germany yet, so I couldn’t download it to make gifs, therefore this will have to do. I think though that these scenes above will illustrate well enough why I chose to use them in context to the S14 premiere. It’s plain and simple: To me they capture the essence of what this episode was about and to a huge extent in my personal opinion this episode was about one thing: Faith. Whether it was from Maggie mentioning a rawhead (the monster Dean killed in 1x12 “Faith” and almost killing himself in the process as well) the first man we saw Michael visit who started his day with praying to Mary trying to “keep the faith” that they’ll find Dean to Castiel expressing faith in Jack, who has lost it and the believe in himself to Sister Jo who seems to continue to work as a “faith healer” and saving people.

Faith, the very concept of it has always been something Dean as a character was shown to struggle with on Supernatural. Early on, from the very first season onward and especially set up with the episode 1x12 “Faith” that sees Dean close to dying with a damaged heart after having been electrocuted his’s faith or lack thereof has been an integral part of his journey as a character. In fact it has become a red line running throughout the seasons shining a light on Dean’s state of mind as well as perception of self.

Given all that the opening episode of S14 felt very interesting, because imo it called back to its roots and the episode 1x12 “Faith” as that episode not only truly established the heart symbolism surrounding Dean that has been focal point time and again over the course of 13 years, but also marked Dean’s special place within the grand scheme of things which has always lead all the way to Michael, who of course at present is calling the shots.

And here is where these aspects intertwine rather well, because imo the heavy focus on the heart in 14x01 with Kip for example talking about “eating Sam’s heart out” feels especially striking because Dean is absent. Dean, the tin man, lost his heart, his agency, has become a mere puppet to Michael’s will. And along with Dean essentially losing himself to me the show has lost it’s core, his heart too and that was strikingly showcased this episode.

Now, I know many people are going to hate me for saying this, but to me this set up makes one thing perfectly clear: Supernatural cannot work without Dean (which is why Dean is never allowed to not be around for longer periods at a time), because it lacks its heart, the PoV character, the narrator, the one who is holding everything together - and with that also has become the one who has steadily fallen apart due to the weight he carries on his shoulders, because he never once has put himself first or believed he mattered (and frankly ever since that god awful scene at the end of S12 with Dean trying to save Mary by going inside her mind also was plain shown that he indeed doesn’t seem to matter as a person in his own right, but only in extension to someone else) and with that thought he deserved to be saved.

To me this first episode spelt out perfectly the only way Dean should be able to “beat” Michael in the long run (I assume that even though Dean may appear “saved” but really won’t be - I guess they will play up some parallels between Nick and his possession and the aftermath for him with Dean, though frankly this whole thing was the most stupid move, because the vessel Lucifer inhabited was artificially made by Crowley and had nothing to do with Nick anymore, so... duuuhhh + if they needed this for dramataic purposes, Dean sharing with Sam those experiences would have made more sense and would be much more meaningful, but anyway...) lies in the small but important fact of Dean finding self worth and love for himself. The episode has shown one thing clearly and that is that Michael is completely unable to grasp the concept of what love means, it escapes him or at the very least annoys and bewilders him. Just like Lucifer never knew what Baby could trigger for Sam in 5x2 “Swan Song” neither understands Michael the meaning of love. And especially so if it is love for someone else. The only thing he knows about that is how he can use it to manipulate people and that’s how he was able to get Dean too after all.

And here is where I found Michael’s question to his counterparts interesting (though I quite frankly had to roll my eyes at Dabb here too, because really? Now even so obviously reference/steal from Lucifer from “Lucifer” and his “what do you desire?”-style), because every single time, every single answer featured love for someone else and belonging in some fashion, things Michael obviously seems to despise and count as a weakness (he is very Voldemort in that regard actually...) unless it is directed at oneself.

What do I mean with that? Obviously, Michael had asked Kip the question of “what he wants” as well and after some thinking he had come to the conclusion, a very selfish one: Everything. Well, as one says that’s how the mighty fall, but what I felt important in this context is how Kip managed to “survive” Michael and how Michael befriends a vampire at the end of the episode (for its “pure” reasons - lots of callbacks and parallels to purgatory with Dean and Dean and famine here, which I can’t possible work into this text right now, but there are a few fitting things in these storylines relevant to the current set up). They both think of themselves, put themselves first, “love” themselves if you will and THAT is something very strikingly different to Dean, because Dean doesn’t care about himself, doesn’t put himself first and truly has no love for himself. That is exactly why imo Michael has such a strong hold over him, why Michael could overpower Dean. It’s based in Dean’s lack of self worth and that aspect to is directly connected to faith - faith as such as well as the episode from S1.

More than once on the show it was addressed that Dean doesn’t think he deserves to be saved. Be it due to what he did in Hell or plain and simple due to the fact he thinks no one could or should ever love him. I truly think that is why Dean is so vulnerable to be overpowered by Michael, because in opposition to Dean Michael has all the love for himself but none for anybody else. He is self confident to the point of arrogance and being a complete megalomaniac, but point is, he feels worthy. That’s where he draws strength from. Dean on the other hand feels the opposite, has never learnt to form a healthy image of self. That is where to me the aspects of purity and hunger come into play here and especially so Famine’s words to Dean, because even though it is 9 years later, Dean doesn’t feel any different really, he never healed but only accumulated more scars, more trauma, more reasons to hate himself. He has been deeply depressed for a long time and shown to be tired and at the end of his rope, ready to lay his head to rest. Amara to echoed these sentiments previously said by Famine, that Dean feels empty. And well, doesn’t someone who feels empty and despises himself allow all the more room as a literal vessel for someone to inhabit?

So what does it all come down to? My personal takeaway from this episode was that there is only one way to “save” Dean and that is by Dean saving himself. And that may be the hardest part, because as all of the gifs capture above Dean struggles to see himself as worthy to be saved, as important and lovable, because he simply doesn’t feel any of those things for himself. But if I was part of the writing team, this aspect would be the vital aspect for Sam, Jack and Co. to get Dean back, getting Dean to build up his own self worth, loving himself and with that becoming strong enough to fight Michael off who really doesn’t know humanity at all. Dean’s love for his loved ones has proven to “move mountains”, who knows what he could move if he had found just a shred of that immens capacity to love for himself...

#deanedit #Dean love club #14x01 #Stranger in a strange land #SPN Meta #Supernatural Meta #Dean Winchester Meta #I probably should have added links to all of the metas regarding Dean and his heart and heart symbolism as well as the aspect of hunger and #love but I just couldn't be bothered to search all of them lol #Also apologies if this is terrifically bad written #Haven't metaed in a while - I am rusty #And tired #And still pretty sick #Parallels #Visual and narrative callbacks #Heart symbolism #faith #Dusty Gifs #Gif Meta #1x12gif #3x10gif #8x01gif

[allyzion]

Falling in the depths ________________________

imagine you were lucifer girlfriend but he abandon you suddenly and let you suffer alone...

warning : kinda angsty, fluff 

___________________________________________________________

 “ So convenient of you to drag me to a room and lock the door after disappearing and ignoring me.” Y/n dead panned looking defensively at the man – May I say angel – she thought she loved.

She was nothing uncommon, not the worst sinner, nor the best of the saint, but somehow, she met the devil one day, and they managed to have something between them. Every day he would show into her home, to spend time together, and everything seemed perfect even if their situation was strange.  Obviously, each dream had an end, and suddenly he stopped coming.

At first, she thought it was an important matter, and he would reappear, making himself comfortable as if nothing had happened, but as the days passed, she wasn’t so sure of it anymore.  It wasn’t like she could have just texted him for explanation, so she prayed, called his name in vain, tried more dark ways to reach him.  Nothing seemed to works.

After that, she believed she was crazy, that she invented him : she had no physical proofs of his existence, no pictures, no object that could have belonged to him, or even a neighbor who saw the man. She started to ask herself how much of an insane person could she has been to imagine a nearly two years relationship, with Lucifer.

She wanted to seek help, needed it, needed to discharge her sorrow, except any therapist would have told her she was mentally ill and would have locked her up.

So she went to the only place where her madness wouldn’t seem out of place. A church.

She confessed to have fallen for the devil, that she had given to the desire, that she had given her heart and soul for it to only be crushed. They answered her that god was merciful, and would forgive her sin if she acted to be forgiven.

Bit by bit, she regained a semblance of sanity, building her faith and getting to be herself again with the help of the priest running the place. God was her new found anchor.

Maybe it was petty of her, but the fact that he once punished the one who shattered her deeply comforted her.

The head priest was a good man, with a kind heart, funny, caring and far from ugly, she found no reason to reject him when one year later he asked her on a date. He was a safe choice, and she knew he would never let her down, so she also agreed to another date, and another, even if she felt nothing comparable to what she felt to the king of hell.

Maybe she was starting to develop more than just a need of stability she thought while listening to him talking to a parishioner one Sunday morning. That’s when she saw him again. He was there, his hair were longer falling in strand in front of his eyes. His bewitching eyes, where she drown into more than once before.

Time seemed to stop and her heart accelerated full speed, her breath was caught in her throat. He was here for her, she could see it by the way he looked at her, and the way he was standing out of the crowd of people who had come to pray.

She felt that he wanted to go back to before. She started to walk to him mechanically, like a moth drown to the flame, he was a few step out of reach now sh-

“Y/N ? Are you alright honey?” It was her boyfriend, the rightful one, who got her out of his torpor, “you look like you have seen a ghost?”

She drifted her attention back to the spot her fallen angel was to see he wasn’t there anymore.

“Yeah, sorry sweetheart I’m fine, just a hallucination…”

 When she went back home that night she felt exhausted, physically and mentally. She was setback to him again. She wanted to cry, to scream, why now ? Why was he coming back now that everything was coming in place ?

She went to her bathroom, wanting to take a cold shower to drown the illusion he was, she would not fell into the devil seducing trap twice.

As she got into the room she felt pushed inside, and heard the door being locked.

 It didn’t take her to turn and face who the intruder was, because she knew only one man who could behave like this. And she was furious, and dumbfounded at how reckless he was.

“It’s been more than a years, you can’t come back in someone life as if you own it!”

“Well hello to begin,  it’s been more than a thousand for me, and not a single day that I couldn’t think of us, of you, but I see it’s not the case for you since you got yourself a new boy toy pretty fast.”

She was agape, he left her, and was upset to see her with another man. It was a joke. He was a joke.

“Happy to hear that I’m not the only one to have suffered from your little whim, and I want you to know we are doing fine, he actually cares for me unlike some other douche.”

“I care for you! Why did you think I came back ? I can’t get you out of my mind! I don’t know what you did to me… you are no more than a insignificant mortal, but I can’t forget the taste of your skin, every night I keep having thought of you and I, and the worst is  that I don’t despise all of those thought. “ while talking he had gotten closer, and was caressing her cheeks, desperately trying to convey his feeling by locking his expressive stare to her (e/c) eye, but she wasn’t having it, and was rock like to his confession, even if inside her he made her world collapse again. “You make me weak! I should have killed you from the start! “ enough, she couldn’t stand more, she tried to push him and she wanted to go, go far away, she didn’t wanted to show him how much he affected her.

“Don’t move! I didn’t told you I was finished!”

“Well you did by leaving me with nothing but pain!” she snaped tears creeping from her eyes

“I won’t let you go see my crappy replacement! You’re mine and no one else!”

“It’s unholy ! It can’t work ! I can’t be yours you hate my kind !”

She could saw how much he was hurt by her rejection, but she couldn’t suffer like she did again.

“Don’t say it’s unholy if I want to be there with you, I’m so lonely without you … I need you with me.“  

Both of them were on the verge of crying, their lips millimeters away, they felt so close, but so unattainable.

“No please I couldn’t stand to be left out again…”

“No this time I’ll take you with me, you are my most prized procession.”

On that they sealed their reunion on a passionate kiss, and the devil kept his words, by disappearing again, but this time, taking the love of his life.

#lucifer #satan #spn #imagine #lucifer x reader #fluf #fluff #angst #love #heartbreak #reader #lucifer morningstar #nick