#our brain makes this not any easier either

[scuddle-bubble101]

Tempted to draw... but not too sure what to draw... -flops in pud-

#serif talks #noodle rambles #our brain makes this not any easier either #g od #so many things a ll at once #can we just CHILL MAYBE G UYS #h eckity deck i t y #i'm going to wreckity this l ife #slight rant #woof

[muzanswaifu]

Out of Options

Sugardaddy!Toji x Fem!Reader

18+

You needed money. He wanted free use. You weren't past making an exchange... until he started to get cheap. What else was a girl to do?

5k Words

Big thank you to my beta readers @mistymuichiro & @thosestarry-nights & @mrskokushibo !!!

Sfw Warnings: Sugar Daddy Toji, Sugar Baby Reader, Themes of prostitution, Angst, Bad Communication, Toxic Relationships, Creepy Old Men, Misogyny, Toxic Work Environment, Jealousy

Nsfw Warnings: Smut, Hints of Breeding Kink, Dirty Talk, Fingering, Oral Sex (fem! receiving), Cunnilingus, Squirting

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The wooden frame of the bed slammed viciously into the thin walls of the motel bedroom, the withered coat of eggshell white chipping away with the ruthless collision, likely cracking the wood as well. The hellish creaking burned into your ears, scratching at the back of your brain and preventing any chance of relaxing in the moment. You’d had a shitty day, and the fact that this wasn’t even the worst of it was almost sad.

Work was exhausting, stupid old men yelling at you all day that you couldn’t do your job and the lead physician not doing a thing to stop them. Not to mention that you were in charge of most of the side work all day, replacing the instruments and utensils, emptying trash bins, cleaning out inpatient rooms, none of which was given to any of the newer technicians. You were good at what you did. You studied hard in school, you perfected all of your residency, you had astounding references. Your only flaw? Your gender. You were one of the only females in your department - hell - in the entire building. Most either quit or moved to different hospitals, entirely due to the terrible environment. None of your peers or superiors or inferiors respected you. You were always stuck with the dirty, side work while the others got to do what your job actually entailed, and the rare occurrences when you did get the opportunity to work with patients, they were always abusive to you. It was hell.

But what other choice did you have?

All the other openings at other hospitals were either filled or about to be. No other fields or retail jobs made enough pay. You didn’t have near enough money or grounds to seek out legal help. You were stuck. You were desperate for money. You were out of options.

You had family to take care of - two brothers, a sister, your mother. Dad died years ago in a car accident. Mom was already working overtime with two jobs, barely making ends meet. Rent, insurance, taxes, student loans, car payments, groceries, clothing, hospital bills, schooling, existing. It all cost money. So much money. It felt like you were suffocating. You were out of options.

Finally the creaking stopped. You back was already sore beyond belief and your legs numb. Your knees were probably bruised, too. Damn, you could go for some marble cheesecake right now. Your nose scrunched as you smelt the familiar scent of cigarette smoke, you lungs burning from the second hand nicotine.

“Here.”

A wad of cash fell across your back, the paper crunchy and bent. You groaned as you rose up, stretching your back out and hissing at how tight you were. How much was ibuprofen again?

You flicked through the money, your brow furrowing when you shuffled across the last layer.

“This isn’t enough,” you countered.

The end of his cigarette burned gold. He stood in front of the window, brushing away the curtain to peer outside as he took a drawl. He was still naked and didn’t seem in a rush to dress himself.

“It’d be more if ya didn’t make me wear a condom.”

You scowled but kept silent, fidgeting at the sides of your panties where he tied the damn things. The latex was knotted tight with each used rubber, five in total today. It’d be easier to just throw the whole pair away.

He took another hit.

“Won’t make our date on Saturday,” he mumbled, “got plans.”

You were already redressing yourself, desperate to get out of there and get going. Shower. Eat. Jerk off. Go to sleep. There were only so many hours in a day and you still had work in the morning.

You sighed, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

He chuckled softly to himself. “How’s work.”

“Bye, Toji.”

The store wasn’t all that crowded surprisingly. It was Thursday afternoon, but people tended to not follow norms around here when it came to scheduling. They were out of marble cheesecake so you had to get turtle. It was too sweet in your opinion.

Everyone was asleep when you got home, but you were grateful for the privacy. Mom was still at work.

You locked your door and ruffled through your bottom drawer, fetching out your vibrator. The fan in your room was loud so nobody could hear it anyway. God, you were tired.

You never thought of anything particular when you were trying to get off, it honestly depended on the day. Sometimes you thought about getting eaten out slowly by a fireplace. Sometimes you thought about getting dicked down in a dark alley. No matter the scenario, there was only one similarity. You never imagined anyone in particular. You couldn’t put a face to the man. He was big, muscular, strong. You felt safe yet thrilled underneath him. But you couldn’t see him, if that made any sense.

Your sex drive had always been high. Ever since puberty you were antsy and pent up, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to date. Your first boyfriend was overwhelmed with how needy you were, and the moment you sensed his rejection, your attraction to him plummeted. You needed to feel secure before you felt horny. Were you demisexual? Maybe. You weren’t sure and hardly had time to find yourself.

You tried to find another partner again in your third year of college. There was a party at a local bar, and your friends hyped you up to go. You were both drunk, him more than you. He had whiskey dick. You didn’t feel comfortable. You left relatively quickly after calling him an uber. Failed again.

You didn’t try again after that.

You were fine keeping to yourself. You had your own assortment of toys awaiting you in your room. And work only solidified your hatred of the male species. You likely would’ve remained celibate forever if you hadn’t run into Toji.

You had just gotten off work, walking through the subway to catch the next train. Your engine was busted so your car was in the shop. Not many people were around, and the ones that were left after a while since it was taking too long. But you were too tired to walk so you stayed. The sketchy figures in the back didn’t seem like a big deal at the time. Finally the train came and you got on, only about six people onboard. The man a couple feet down on the bench smelt like burnt flesh. He had a cigar in his mouth despite the no smoking sign. Whatever, it wasn’t any of your business. Your left side was occupied, surprisingly, despite the abundance of free seats. This man was close, too close. Two others gathered in front of you. 

“Where ya headed to baby?

“Yeah, yeah, you need some company?“

“We’ll treat ya real nice.”

You tried to ignore their taunts, keeping your eyes down and trying to appear as small as possible. You immediately noticed when a knife was drawn.

“We’re tryna talk to you, bitch.”

The blade nicked the bottom of your jaw, your blood running cold.

“Yer makin’ too much ruckus over there.”

Everyone slowly turned to look at who spoke. The man looked without a care in the world.

“Didn’t fuckin’ ask you, now did I old man?” The knife was now pointed to him.

He drew a long sigh and took out his blunt, pressing the lit end into the seat, the plastic screaming in agony.

You don’t really remember the rest of the conversation. Everything was a blur. Words were said. Punches were thrown. Bones were shattered. The man with the cigarette hardly got up from his seat, really. The next thing you knew he was sat back down and the others were lying on the floor, knocked out. You shifted your feet away so they didn’t get near the bodies.

Awkwardly, you tried to thank him, offer him what little you had in your pocket, mostly out of fear. You didn’t want to get on the bad side of someone who could so easily hurt people, and you didn’t want to appear ungrateful. Based on the scar that tore into his mouth, he’d seen his fair share of violence. He turned it down. You offered to buy him food. He turned it down. Medical care to clean his fists? He turned it down. You were out of options. Was there anything you could offer him? His answer still burned in your mind.

“You wanna fuck?”

The money afterward was unexpected. You woke up sore and broken, your thighs burning and covered in bruises. He was long gone, in his place a wad of cash that made your eyes bulge. Did he think you were a hooker? You weren’t sure. The sex wasn’t bad. You didn’t get off, but he obviously knew what he was doing. It felt nice. You felt safe.

Your next meeting, he found you walking the streets. Money in hand, stinking of booze. Wagging a room key in your face and giving you an address to go to if you need some money. Maybe he thought you were someone else. You didn’t care. You needed money and didn’t mind the sex. You were always wet enough to be comfortable for a decent amount of time, but it would hurt more after each round. You wish he didn’t last so long. Or for so many rounds. You wondered if he was even human. More money.

You had a couple rules for your… relationship. No kissing. No oral (for either of you). No raw contact or cumming on your body. No telling. You didn’t need a reputation.

He paid based on what he felt like paying you, but he was never stingy so you didn’t mind. Until lately.

He wasn’t paying as much as he used to. He didn’t seem to be enjoying himself as much. Maybe he was getting bored. You were worried.

You needed the money. You always needed money. And this wasn’t paying like it used to. It was a hard pill to swallow, but you knew what you had to do.

You needed another outlet.

It was going to be hard to find one. You were essentially selling your body, but you still had standards. You refused to sleep with anyone who you didn’t find attractive, anyone who was married, anyone dangerous. Your work was cut out for you.

And since you were now free on Saturday, you would go out then.

You put your siblings to bed early, double checking with mom that she’d be out until early morning. You dressed nice but not too nice. Hot but not too hot. It was a fine line you were walking, and you absolutely were not going to cross it.

The bar in the popular part of the city was going to be the number one spot for rich bachelors. You never went there yourself because it was so expensive and uptight, but you were looking to get drinks anyway. You didn’t have to wait long before you had a drink in front of you, courtesy of a gentleman sitting in a booth in the back. He was too old for you but you smiled at him. The others came quickly. You had the bartender sneak most of them into the sink. You couldn’t get drunk and most of these men you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. It was starting to get late. You didn’t spot anyone worth your while.

“This seat taken?”

You whipped around to your right, surprised to see a young man - no - someone your age in here. Not to mention attractive. You shook your head, trying to cover your own shock.

“Not a lot of… not… old guys in here, am I right?” He laughed, nodding toward the tables of older gentleman. Most were fifty or so. You felt gross now realizing how many were staring at you.

You laughed back nervously, “Yeah…”

“What brings you here?” He asked innocently, “Not that you don’t belong here! You just look… I don’t know - uncomfortable?”

You cringed. Did you look uncomfortable? 

“Yeah, sorry. Just… hanging around, I suppose,” you offered. He was too cute now. You couldn’t bring yourself to take his money even if you wanted to. 

He smiled. “Same here. I thought this place was going to be fun, but there’s not a lot to do.” He looked around. “Most of these guys are talkin’ business.” Looking around yourself, you realized he was right. Most of them were meeting up with business partners whiles others were trying to make business partners. Some looked pretty shady. You were getting more nervous by the minute.

“I-I have to go,” you mumbled quickly, getting up from your seat end creeping toward the door. He was surprised. “Uh, by-”

You bumped into something, stumbling back into the bar. 

“Oi, you should watch where you’r-”

You gasped.

The music got louder. The air felt heavy. His eyes looked dark.

The corners of his mouth tugged down and his eyes narrowed. Sweat condensed on your brow.

“What are you doing here?” He growled, his stature big and menacing. His green eyes bore into you sharply.

“I-I-I-”

“Hey-” The boy from before was back. “Are you okay?” He looked to Toji and frowned.

“This guy bothering you?” He asked, all too naive. You gently pushed him back. You could see Toji about to pounce. 

You pushed him back a little harder when he didn’t get the hint. “No, it’s fine, man,” you told him, “just go.”

He gave you another concerned look, but left when you gave him a stern one. You felt bad. He seemed nice.

Much to your disappointment, the other man you were dealing with didn’t just vanish into thin air. You sighed. “I was just about to leave, anyway.” You tried to step past him. He didn’t let you, his wide torso stepping in front of you. His smirk made your skin crawl.

“Let’s talk.”

You weren’t given the option to deny him as he stole you away, a large fist grabbing you arm far too harshly. He pulled you through the exit, dragging you down the crowded street. Any struggle you made was met with a firm tug, his grip getting tighter and tighter. You were definitely going to bruise.

When you’d rounded lone alleyway between the buildings, he’d pressed you against the wall, the grainy texture of the brick scratching your skin.

“What the fuck was that about, huh?” He hissed, his teeth sharp and burning white.

“You fucking around? You screw any of those fuckers?” He’d never been so angry with you before. He’d never been angry with you, period. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears.

“N-no!” you argued, “Toji, no. What the hell - what are you doing here?” When he gave no answer, his eyes still glaring, you continued.

“You said you were busy today…”

No answer.

“I can spend my free time wherever I want.”

No. Answer. Your eyes glazed over, and you turned away from him.

“I… needed money…”

With that he seemed to let up.

“Money?” He scoffed. “This how you get money now? What the fuck happened to your job?”

“Nothing… I just needed more.” You bit your lip. “Your’s isn’t enough.”

“What do you mean mine isn’t enough?” He barked. He wrapped his hand under you jaw, his palm grasping your pulse.

“I told you I’d give you more if you let me screw you raw. Didn’t I?”

You swallowed thickly, tears clinging to your eyelashes.

You looked back at him with fear in your eyes, his hand slowly closing around your neck. His expression softened ever so slightly as he realized he was scaring you.

He released you with a huff and walked a few steps away, running a hand down his face.

“What’s the issue? STDs? Birth control? I’m clean, and I’ll get you pills-”

“No!”

He looked at you surprised. You calmed yourself down and rubbed your arms, suddenly feeling the chill of the air.

“Toji…,” you began, “we’re… not together. You have your fun, I get paid - that’s all we do.” You looked up at him softly. “I need more than what you’re giving me.”

His eyes narrowed. “You saying you don’t have fun.”

You bit your lip and looked away. He scowled. Wrong answer.

He took wide strides forward, cornering you against the wall yet again, this time with his hands on either side of your head, forcing you to face him.

“You saying you don’t love it when I fuck you? That your cunt doesn’t fuckin’ love my cock?

You frowned back at him.

“You tell me.”

His mouth thinned.

It was no secret that you didn’t come when you two fucked. It’s not like he was trying either. You always prepped yourself beforehand, lubing yourself up and stretching yourself out so he didn’t hurt you. And during your escapades, he always just pulled his dick out and got to it. He never touched you more than necessary, never tried to feel you up or grope around. His only goal was to get himself off. And you were fine with that. So long as he paid you.

His eyes looked at you softly, he almost looked guilty, but you knew him better than that. You sighed and pushed away from him.

“It’s late… I gotta go hom-”

He grabbed your wrist, squeezing tight.

You looked down at it, his hand engulfing your arm, his fingers and knuckles all too big for you. His nails dug into your skin and he pulled you back. You couldn't walk away if you wanted to. You were trapped. You wanted to push him away, you wanted to be mad, but you couldn't find it in yourself.

He leaned in, his eyes soft yet cold.

You flinched, his lips connecting with the side of your neck. He was rough, his mouth moving against your flesh in a sloppy kiss. His tongue flicked across your neck, and his teeth tugged at your skin. He was hungry. Always hungry. You pushed your free hand against him. He ignored it.

His free hand snaked up to the underside of your breast, the other dropping to your hip, his palm resting on the bone. His thumb rubbed at the exposed skin where your chest spilled out. You felt conflicted.

He bit you harshly, drawing blood. Your eyes widened and you hissed.

“So that’s what this was all about, huh?” He rasped, his bottom lip resting on your skin, his breath hot.

“Little girl not cumming like she wants to?”

You pushed his face away and groaned.

“As if you’ve ever gotten me off? I’m leaving.”

You went to move, but he kept his grip tight. He grabbed the other wrist as well. He squeezed hard, forcing you to gasp. He smirked.

“You’re this stubborn you’ve forgotten how to ask for things? You had me worried there. Thought you were tryna end things for real.”

Your face flushed in anger and embarrassment. You yanked your arms away but he didn't let go. You tugged once, twice, three times - he didn't let go. You yelped as he tugged back, forcing you to stumble and fall against him. He pressed his hips against yours, his groin digging into your stomach. You grunted at the pressure, your toes curling at the contact. He was hard already, his cock throbbing against your navel.

He pinned your arms over your head, his weight forcing you up against the wall, his mouth looming over yours. You turned your head to the side. He couldn’t kiss you, that was against the rules. His hot breath fell down your cheek and neck.

He leaned in again and you turned away.

He was hungry. Always hungry.

He leaned in again. And again.

You whimpered softly and groaned. Your heart throbbed.

You swallowed thickly as he leaned in again, your chest heaving, his lips brushing against your jaw. You shook your head weakly. He huffed, a deep, almost animalistic rumble leaving his chest.

You whined and shut your eyes.

His tongue smoothed over your jawline, his hand finally letting go of you.

You placed a hand on his shoulder but didn't push him away. He was too strong, anyway.

He grunted and ran his fingers through your hair, grasping a handful and pulling your head back. You whined, the sound only encouraging him to continue, your hair tightening in his fist. He pushed his hips against yours, his hard cock pressing against your pelvis, the fabric of your skirt doing nothing to stop the feeling.

“C’mon sweetheart, Don’tcha wanna feel good?” He cooed.

He forced you into the wall once more, his free hand moving down to your thigh, squeezing the skin just under your knee. He pulled your leg up, wrapping it over his hip, his bulge rubbing your heat. A chuckle rose deep within his throat, and he licked at your ear.

“Ugh, Toji, stop it! You’re being annoying,” you complained, despite the thrill lacing up your spine. He laughed.

“Don’t lie,” the man crooned. “I’ll make you come so hard, you’ll be beggin’ me to fuck ya.” 

Your cowered away. “Wha-” Umph.

You couldn’t finish as you we dropped onto a hard surface, a mixture of both brick and stale dirt. Looking up, dead branches and deader leaves filled your vision. The alley way had led to a smaller subsection of the street, a lone crevice in the city district that was long abandoned and withering away. Your dress was smushed into the dirt of the old dirt bowl that was in the center of the small courtyard, the tree taking root twisted and weak. It almost seemed pitifully metaphorical to your current situation.

A scheming hand slithered up your thigh, scrunching back your crinkled skirt and hiking it around your hips, your lacey g-string fully exposed.

“Fuck,” Toji moaned, licking his lips, “You were definitely looking to get fucked tonight.”

“No I wasn’t!” You countered nervously, trying to press your thighs together to hide yourself. Despite being in an abandoned area, you were still in a public space and didn’t want to be seen by anyone. Much less be here for the long duration it took him to be satisfied. But this time felt a bit different. He was taking his time, touching you more, teasing. He usually got straight to business and had his fly down by now, but instead it was you who was being undressed, his big, warm hands encompassing your thighs and groping them. He was trying to break another rule, you could feel it. He had a devious look in his eye. He smiled at you.

“How much to touch your pussy?”

You were taken aback by the question, squeezing your thighs even tighter.

“Wha- that’s off limits!”

“No, no,” he insisted, “everything’s got a price, baby. What’s yours?”

He couldn’t possibly be serious. You’d never seen him so adamant to give you pleasure, much less offer money for it. From your experience, men were hesitant to do anything besides receive, convincing themselves that woman adored pleasing them. And the rare moment when they did touch a girl, it was always careless and short-lived, the only real goal to get them wet enough to be a slippery hole. You weren’t in the mood to be disappointed.

“Thirty thousand yen? Forty?”

“Not interested.”

“More?”

“No.”

He leered.

“Three. Hundred. Thousand.”

Your eyes bulged. Mouth gaping.

“Th-thats…”

“Going once,” he announced. “Going twice!” Don’t let him get to three.

You could get a new computer with that, replace your old busted one that had lost half the keys and took fifty years to load.

“Going-”

“I’ll do it!” You gasped, defeated. “I’ll do it…”

His paws squeezed your thighs, drifting up the insides and gently prying them apart. You hardly fought him when you realized that was the only way you were going to get the money. New computer. New computer. You tried to focus on the positives.

Toji pressed his cheek into your inner thigh, kissing your skin softly. You shivered at the feeling of his soft lips brushing your flesh. He moved up your leg, placing his hands on each side of your panties and tugging them down, your skin glistening with sweat as he pulled the cloth against the curves of your flesh. He pulled your legs apart further and licked a long stripe up your skin. the wetness cold on your overheated flesh. You clenched your teeth. You were on the verge of telling him the deal was off, but his tongue brushed against your core and you could no longer find the words. He kissed and sucked at the sensitive skin of your thighs, leaving marks in his wake.

Your core throbbed.

He pulled you closer to the edge of the pot, your body lying at an awkward angle, the base of your spine aching.

Toji pressed a thumb against your slit, dragging it across your folds and collecting your slick on the pad. You shuddered.

He ran the pad of his thumb across your clit, rubbing slow circles into the bundle of nerves. You gripped his hair with one hand, tugging it hard, his muffled groan tickling your core. His finger slipped between your folds, easily entering your wet hole, his finger much bigger than your own. You grunted at the intrusion, the thick digit stretching your inner walls, his knuckle pressing against your clit as he bottomed out inside of you. He wiggled his finger, stretching your walls before pumping his finger in and out of your cunt, dragging out every little noise he could from your mouth.

He pulled you closer to the edge of your seat, your legs dangling in the air as he sat between your thighs, your hands digging into the dirt beneath you for support.

His finger moved slowly within you, his eyes never leaving yours, a fire burning within his emerald eyes. You grunted when he added another finger, the feeling almost too much for you. Your noises echoed briefly throughout the courtyard, bouncing off the concrete and surrounding buildings, and you were all too aware of how loud you were being. You pulled harder on his hair as the knot in your stomach grew tighter.

But you tried to keep your composure, your body still tense with the fear of your surroundings. Any moment someone could come waltzing by, see what you two were doing, your disheveled appearance, perhaps even try to take advantage. Your alarm hindered your concentration on the pleasure.

“What’s up?” You heard, turning your eyes back down to look at him. You hadn’t realized your gaze had wandered to the opening in the walls to where the city life buzzed about. He glanced over to where you were looking.

“Ain’t nobody comin’ over here. Relax,” he mumbled, his eyes getting warm again. “I’ll protect ya. Just relax.”

Your heart throbbed at the promise, warmth enveloping your body. You hesitantly let your head fall back and sighed, dropping your shoulders. His free hand moved to the hem of your skirt and pushed it up over your belly. He wanted a good view. You didn't care. You felt… safe.

His fingers picked up speed, fucking you harder as you bit your lip. His thumb moved back to your clit, rubbing circles on the swollen button. You hummed and sighed, his fingers twisting inside you. The pleasure began to build up again, boiling in your belly and tingling up your spine. And just when you got comfortable he only took it further.

Heat enveloped your clit, wet and slippery and hot like a warm bath. You gasped out, squirming around a bit and digging your nails into the roots in the ground. Looking back down, you confirmed your theory. Toji’s head was between your thighs, his mouth on your pussy and wrapped around your little bead, his fingers still working inside of you. Soft pants and whines left your mouth, your legs shaking around his head as he continued to suck at you, his tongue swirling around and prodding under the hood, leaving you slick and sensitive. Your core throbbed.

You felt a sharp pressure inside you, and then a slow stretch. You yelped. A third finger was entering you, your cunt molding around the thick digit. You writhed  again, trying to ease the ache of the intrusion. His other hand rested on your belly, gently smoothing over your skin as he ate you. His head moved side to side, tongue laving over you, his hands never stopping their movements. Oh god. It felt like you going to- to-

“Ah!,” you moaned, shaking viciously and clutching at his head, holding him in place. You were melting, you were sure of it. Everything was slipping away from you, your bones, your brain, your worries. His tongue kept lashing at you, extending your pleasure and refusing to slow down. His fingers remained pressed against your sweet spot, his other hand pushing on your belly. It was all too much, you were squealing with overstimulation. It got tighter. And tighter. And tighter. Until something popped.

All the tension broke from your body, the shocking sensations melting into something warm and fuzzy. You slowly let go of everything, all tension easing away from you and allowing for complete bliss to take over. Sweet sighs and mewls left your lips, your back lying against the dirt as you caught your breath and waited for your head and pussy to stop tingling. Another whine was pulled from you when he took his fingers and mouth away from you, unraveling your legs from his head and stepping back.

“You fallin’ asleep now?” He laughed.

You pouted and groaned. “No… jus’… gimme a sec.” Your bones were like jelly, your eyelids heavy. He cackled at you and that was the push you needed to get off your ass. He looked smitten.

“Good, right?” He crooned, wiping his mouth, “Ya fuckin’ squirted on me.”

Your face got dark and you looked to your lap, embarrassed.  

“Nothin’ to be ashamed about princess.” He assured, fishing out his wallet and shufflling through the bills. He took out a stack and threw it in your lap.

“It was hot.”

You groaned again and dug your face into your hands, trying to ignore his raspy laughing.

You jolted when you felt his breath on you, looking up and freezing. His eyes burned into you.

“Now next time, let’s work out this condom situation, alright?”

You gulped.

~

Part 2 coming eventually...

#jjk #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #toji #toji fushiguro #toji smut #toji x reader #jjk toji #toji x you #fushiguro toji #toji zenin #jjk fushiguro #jujustu kaisen #fushiguro toji x reader #fushiguro x reader #toji x y/n #toji x self insert #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x fem!reader #jujutsu toji #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #smut

[reiderwriter]

hi i love your writing

could you do something with reid loving that reader is pregnant. fluff or smut or both

A/N Hello! Thanks for the request! Dad!Spencer is the cutest thing on the planet so this is some unapologetic fluff. And now I have baby fever.

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, idiots in love. Loosely based on Haley and Hotch's conversation in 1x1. Very fluffy and probably very cheesy and sentimental too... Sorry, you give me girl dad Spencer and suddenly there isn't an impure thought in my head, I just want to lovingly stare at him like I'm the dead wife in an action movie montage.

My requests are open, check out my masterlist for more 🌸

“Okay, what about Amelia?”

“No, Amelia Dyer, Victorian serial killer. She killed multiple infants over a thirty-year period.”

“Okay, okay, how about, Myra?”

“Myra Hindley, she and her partner Ian Brady abducted and killed five children and teens in the early sixties.”

“God, not that then. There can’t be a psychopathic murderer called Belle, right?”

“You’re making this too easy for me, y’know. Belle Gunness, Hell’s Belle, she’s one of the most prolific female serial killers of all time, even 100 years after her supposed death. It’s fascinating, you know, people think that she actually faked her death - when the doctor who performed the postmortem testified, he noted that the cadaver was about five inches shorter and about fifty pounds lighter than Gunness supposedly was….” You raise a single eyebrow at your wonderful husband, and he immediately shuts up.

“I’m rambling aren’t I?” He smiled down at you as you sat curled up as much as you could in your favorite spot on the couch, the cosiest part of your shared apartment. You smiled back up at him as he leaned down for a kiss and you gladly craned your neck up in response, meeting his lips for a sweet moment.

“Hotch was right you know,” you joked when the two of you parted. “All of the best baby names have been taken by serial killers.”

“Yeah, you’d think with the ratio of female to male serial killers, a girl would be easier to name.” He leans down to kiss you again before falling into a crouch next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and placing his hand on your stomach.

“How big did you say our little girl is now?”

“Y/N, you asked me that half an hour ago. I know pregnancy messes with your brain a bit, but if you’re that bad we’re going to have to get you back to Dr Patel and see if you’re doing okay.” He was joking of course, but you showed him your little pout anyway, knowing that he loved seeing the silly expression on your face.

“Humor me, Doctor.” He strokes your stomach and moves away, but not too far away, taking up right next to you on the couch, and pulling your legs over his lap.

“At five months, she’s roughly 10 inches long with a weight of about 0.5-1 pound. But that ‘How Big is My Baby’ book would say that she’s roughly one banana in length.” You giggled up at him and he grabbed your hand and just held it, content to have you in his arms in any way, big or small.

“I can’t believe it’s been five months already,” you giggle as he presses another kiss to your hand.

“I get it. It doesn’t feel quite real yet to me, either. I thought for so long that fatherhood just wasn’t in my future, but you’re the gift that keeps on giving I guess. I don't know what I did to deserve you.” Even if the words weren’t so sweet, with all of the hormones, you would’ve started crying at anything. Or at least that’s what you’re going to tell him when he sees the small tears threatening to drop into enormous loving sobs.

“Spencer Reid, I am not a gift. I am simply the woman with the correct combination of sense and foolish luck that got to marry you.” He’d done this before, and you were used to his small habit of self-deprecating talk, but after a year of marriage and three years of dating before that, you’d managed to work him down to the occasional comment.

“Don’t try to argue about this, I’m definitely the one benefitting the most from the situation right now,” he joked with you, and you could see the genuine adoration shining from behind his eyes. It was a little spark that not many got to see, a glimpse of true happiness in someone usually so reserved.

“Spencer, you’ve given me foot rubs everyday this week, you’ve read more pregnancy and parenting books than every OBGYN and midwife in the area combined, and you’ve somehow attended more of my clinical check-ups than me, and I’m the one whose pregnant.”

“And you’re growing our child inside of you, which is itself more impressive than anything I could ever do with a book and some modern acts of chivalry.”

“Yeah, tell your boss that. I think the only thing keeping Emily from pulling her hair out over your constant absences is that she thinks she’s competing for the title of godmother. She thinks Penelope and JJ are trying to corrupt me with parenting advice and all those baby clothes Pen keeps bringing over.”

“She’s going to be crushed when she remembers we’re not religious, right?”

“Devastated,” the two of you shared a laugh on the couch, and it quickly devolved into a giggle fit after Spencer leaned over and tickled your side. You jolted away from his touch, but he was on you again, attacking your sides with small caresses, and you were gasping for breath between laughs.

“Spence stop- ahh!” Your squeals stopped as you cried out in shock. It was small but you felt something tap against your stomach. Spencer stopped immediately upon seeing your expression change, and a serious look settled on him as he assessed you for any damage.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you in pain anywhere, is the baby okay?” He shot out the questions rapidly, one after the other, barely leaving space to catch his own breath from the laughter of earlier.

It happened again and you put a hand to your stomach, finally realising what’s going on.

“I think I just felt her kick. Spencer, I think I just felt the baby kick.” You couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across your face, as much as you couldn’t help the tear that dropped from your eye as your hand rested against your belly again, scared to move for fear that the baby wouldn’t communicate with you again.

“What? Now? Can I- Can I try and feel it, too?” His hands hesitated at first but when you enthusiastically nodded and used your other hand to put him close to yours, you could feel his eagerness to feel the small kicks of your daughter as well.

Almost as if she was waiting for him, as soon as his hand was in the right position, your little girl kicked again, almost as if screaming “I’m here mommy and daddy,” for the two of you to hear.

“I think she’s trying to tell us not to have fun without her,” Reid whispered in your ear, kissing your tear streaked cheek, and using his free hand to rub them away from the other side of your face.

“I am so thankful everyday for this gift you have given me. And for the record, the gift isn’t the baby. The gift is the overwhelming happiness you bring to my life, and the beauty you make me see in this world. The fact that you’re going to be the mother of my child gives me the confidence to get up and go to work every morning because I know that there is joy and there is kindness and there are beautiful people in this world, and you are one, and she will be, too.”

His attempts to dry your tears are now completely vanquished as you let your emotions run wild, but you almost laugh when you realise that his eyes are just as glassy as yours, and you both sit there, overwhelmed by the pure, unadulterated joy that a small kick from a child who has yet to be given a name has bought you.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x oc #I love girl dad Spencer you're going to have to claw girl dad Spencer from my cold dead hands #requested

[thedovesaredying]

Hi I'm hyperfixated over your zombie! Ghost and I've been reading it every hour since it was up, it's the idea of him only acting upon his own primal urges get me going 🤤 i don't know if your zombie! Ghost is a dead person who became zombie or just an infected living human but either way I'm so down!!

I thought about what if reader leaves the muzzle on him all the time and do the usual stuff, pull him by it when they walk about looking for food and medicine, loosen it a bit when he tries to eat whatever is in his zombies menu and of course tugging it backwards as you ride him 🩵

- 🌋

Anon! Your brain!! 

I’m glad I’m not the only one weak for our Zombie lad. I actually have a bunch more I want to write about him, so feel free to request more for him at any point uwu 

A little snippet for you below the cut <3 

Words: 780

Rating: NSFW

Warnings: Teratophilia, PnV, Unprotected Sex, Muzzles.

Reminder, this is an 18+ account!

Ghost has been in quite a huff with you recently or, at least, you think he is. It’s a little difficult to tell given his difficulty stringing full sentences together after the infection ravaged his brain. He’s still cognisant and able to get his thoughts across to you (even if most of those thoughts involve being hungry or wanting to fulfil certain urges).  

However, his attention span isn’t the greatest and he’s constantly getting distracted by things in your surroundings. Wandering off like a toddler at every new sound, checking to see if there’s food or a potential threat hiding around every corner. No matter how many times you ask him to try and focus, he’ll inevitably end up finding trouble.  

The other zombies aren’t much of a problem since he can chase them off with a few well-placed swipes and growls to remind them of their place. It’s the other survivors you’re worried about. It’s a lawless land out here and anyone that’s survived this long knows to shoot first and ask questions later. This doesn’t bode well for your zombified partner. He’s an enemy and when he has his sights on a potential meal there’s little you can do to deter him from attacking.  

Hence, it’s easier to simply keep him at your side. The muzzle works wonders for when you need to gently steer him away from distractions, even if he occasionally gets a little grumpy at having to be pulled around by his face. He can’t nose his face up against you properly when it’s in place which often makes him grumble and sigh a tad overdramatically.  

You take it off when you go to sleep, after all, it wouldn't do you any good to have your guard dog unable to use his best weapons. Ghost doesn’t require sleep anymore, so he makes an excellent protector for when you’re in your most vulnerable state.  

He stays with you all throughout the night, his body pressed up against your back and his arms caging you to his chest. His lips are dry and completely missing in some parts, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to lave every inch of you with kisses. A soft rumbling sound always accompanies his affections, almost a purr.  

But the uses of a muzzle don’t stop at simply helping to direct your companion whenever he starts to drift away. It’s particularly useful for manipulating his face to exactly where you want it, be it away from something he wants or toward the places you require his attention.  

Riding him is only more intense when you’re able to grip at the thick leather straps keeping his muzzle in place. He tries to press his mouth to your throat, but you hold him back, forcing his milky white eyes to stare directly into your own as you slowly sink down on his cock. It’s beautiful, the way his eyelids flutter and a frankly sinful groan escapes him.  

“Good boy,” you coo, earning yourself a rough jerk of Ghost’s hips. He starts rocking his body up and into your warmth, his gloved hands raising to grip at your waist.  

He pulls you down and onto him over and over again in time with his rapid thrusts, snarling and growling all the while. Ghost might not be able to shift his gaze from your blissed out expression, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less in control. The pace he sets is downright brutal, bullying his entire length into your sopping cunt until it nudges at your cervix.  

Even when you gasp at the sensation and one of your hands grips at his hair he doesn’t faulter. Your noises seem only to urge him on, his panting breath heavy as he endeavours to draw out at many sounds from your lips as physically possible. His intense gaze from where you hold his face only heightens the experience, his eyes scrutinising each and every expression you offer.  

You grow close to orgasm almost embarrassingly fast, but all it takes is a raspy, possessive, “mine,” snarled at you to have your pussy clamping down around Ghost’s cock.  

With your body growing weak from coming so hard, Ghost takes full advantage of your distraction, pushing you down and onto your back without missing a single beat in his current rhythm. He keeps going all through your orgasm, the slick from your tender hole only helping to easy his way. He doesn’t let up with his desperate chanting of, “mine, mine, mine,” right up until he spills deep inside you.  

Your attempts to dominate him hadn’t exactly gone to plan. Perhaps next time you should use some handcuffs as well.  

#writing #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x you #reader insert #terato #ask dove #dyingdovefics #🌋anon

[crusty-chronicles]

Airheaded S/O Headcannons: #6 Sebastian (Black Butler)

An: Literally the hardest part is finding a decently sized picture for him. We will now continue with our regularly scheduled program.

He finds your stupidity incredibly amusing

That being said, you're either his most or least favorite servant

Depends on the time of day honestly

You break more dishes than Mey-Rin

You explode the kitchen more often than Baldroy

You destroy the garden worse than Finny

But what kind of butler would he be if he couldn't deal with one completely incompetent person?

So after making the mistake of letting you complete a task by yourself the first few times, he now watches over you for any potential disasters.

He's your shadow until you can prove to him you're not so stupid after all.

And that's where you pique his interest. (Well appeal to his amusement that is)

You cut yourself trying to prepare the Young Master a snack?

"What a clumsy little thing you are," he says as he puts a small band aid on your finger.

You need to deliver some documents to Ciel but forgot which room is his?

"Right this way, you've kept the Young Lord waiting long enough with your forgetfulness," he coos and leads you to his room.

What's that? You fell onto the dining table and broke it along with the set of dishes?

"A shame. Those were newly imported. So be it, as long as you didn't hurt yourself too bad." And he precedes to check you over for major injuries.

Not because he cares, but because a Phantomhive servant must always be in top condition.

More often than not, he's stifling a laugh behind his hand at your antics

You accidentally used salt instead of sugar for Ciel's tea?

He's trying so hard not to break as the young boy spits his drink and starts coughing.

Guest are being rude?

You tell them they reek of alcohol and cigarettes, and he's hiding a smile behind his gloved hand.

You lost the keys to the manor and broke the door to get in?

He's cooing down at you and ties a spare to your uniform.

It becomes a game to him to see how many times he can get your small brain to short-circuit

Whether it's telling you about where the new imports are from or today's menu, he finds immense joy seeing your face go blank.

His record is 7 times in two minutes

While Sebastian's opinion of you varies, it's very clear you're Ciel's favorite servant.

Why????

Because you're the only one who manages to catch Sebastian off guard.

The demon who's prepared for anything and everything, who almost never breaks his composure, dumbfounded by a human who can't even enter a carriage without falling or breaking it.

If Ciel's ever mad at Sebastian, he'll punish him by pairing the two of you up for chores.

And Sebastian absolutely hates it because he won't get anything done.

There is a plus side to this though. It means convincing Ciel to let you come on missions is easier.

He just can't stand being away from his favorite form of entertainment, after all.

Speaking of missions 👀👀👀

You're an absolute titan, and while Sebastian was well aware you're Finny's sibling, he's still impressed by your strength.

It's not just you hurling statues or whole carriages at enemies.

It's the fact that after taking multiple gunshots to your torso, while bleeding profusely, you pick up Ciel and manage to toss him Sebastian's way with ease.

Like you weren't seriously injured

You just kept trucking on, as if you weren't bleeding out.

Sebastian eventually has to step in before you die, despite your protests that you could keep going.

"Let's treat those wounds, shall we? It'd be a shame for the Young Master to lose his favorite servant to such a trivial cause." Ciel was part of the reason he saved you, but not the true reason.

Because the truth, the real reason was a little more sinister.

Sebastian would just hate for his precious toy to be broken so soon.

So he decides to keep you at the manor for the time being. At least until you take your life a little more seriously.

Such a delicious soul shouldn't be thrown away that easily.

He won't see you in a romantic light for a long time. But that doesn't stop him from toying with you.

A huge fan of whispering naughty things in your ear and seeing you not processing it at all.

Just your face going blank and a, "I don't think that's very practical, but to each their own I guess."

And it's so funny to him because most women (and let's be real, men) would be flustered beyond belief.

But for you it goes in one ear and out the other.

He also appreciates how you pay his appearance no mind

You're not fumbling over words or getting all blushy when he's near

You simply don't care or don't notice his attempts to get a rise out of you.

And that makes him only want your attention even more.

He realizes he likes you a little more than he should during the Jack the Ripper incident.

Ciel let you tag along to confront his aunt because, "You're the most incompetent, yet capable servant." As he puts it.

Grell went in for a nasty blow with his death scythe, one that Sebastian wouldn't be able to avoid in full.

And in you came, shoving him out of the way and getting your side sawed through. In what only could be called a display of strength, you grabbed the blade of the chainsaw and pulled the reaper close to you, then socked her straight in her jaw, sending Grell flying.

He was very impressed that a human of all creatures was capable of such feats.

Then Sebastian was upset.

So very upset that this reaper had damaged his plaything.

He fights with the intent to kill until the whole ordeal is called off by Ciel.

While you're getting patched up back at the estate is when he decides your his.

Sebastian is a demon after all, and a very cruel one at that.

His first step in courting you is tricking you into a contract. (Which would not be hard to do at all)

He'll take you to the manor's garden and get down on a knee, as if he planned to confess.

"My dearest pet," he'd start off with his eyes already flashing their demonic color.

"It brings me immense pain to see you injured so often on the Queen's little excursions. If you would agree to let me stay by your side, I would protect you from any and all harm."

"All you need do is call my name and I shall be there. What I ask in return is you. Your mind. Your body. Your soul. Will you accept?"

He watches eagerly as the cogs turn in your head.

"Mmmm, no"

And he's 👁️👄👁️

Because what did you say??????

Out of all the humans, you, you say no????

He reaches for you before you leave.

"May I ask why?" Because he, Sebastian, the most sought out man, was being turned down by the one being he actually wanted.

" Because I want to be the one that protects you. It's not fair to add even more weight to your shoulders." You answer.

And after taking a moment to process, Sebastian is laughing.

Oh you precious, precious fool.

It's decided then, he doesn't want your soul. Oh no, he plans to keep you for all of eternity.

So long as you always keep him on his toes

He let's you decide the terms of this arrangement, knowing full well you have no clue what you just agreed to

He places his mark directly over your heart.

It's less obvious than Ciel's, but still enough to show that your fate's forever intertwined with his.

There are only ever two things he calls you: fool and pet.

Fool because, well, your a huge idiot always getting into trouble.

And pet because that's exactly what you are to him.

His precious pet that he'll keep safe for the time being. (I reiterate, he's a demon demon)

Sebastian isn't very affectionate, but there are times he's feeling soft and wants to kiss your forehead. Usually to wake you for the day.

Holding your hand to guide you is another one of his favorites. You're just so cute when you don't know where you're going.

Sebastian doesn't get jealous because what reason does he have to worry you'll leave him.

He is one hell of a lover, you know?

On the other hand, he gets a smidge territorial if a reaper or angel is near you.

They aren't mortal and have the power to end you on the spot.

But he'd never let that happen.

He honestly can't tell if you know he's a demon or not.

It's not like he hides it very well around you, but you're very slow to pick up on things.

Nevertheless, you're his until the day you die and beyond.

His foolish little human.

NEXT UP: Jinx (Arcane)

MASTERLIST

#sebastian x reader #sebastian x y/n #sebastian michaelis #sebastian michaelis x reader #black butler #black butler x reader #black butler x y/n #kuroshitsuji #x reader #x y/n #airhead s/o #stronk s/o

[livseses]

Something that's been brewing for a while about our system (and broadly mental health stuff, or broader still a bunch of our life):

We're being a system on purpose

No we didn't make our system. We aren't a created system. We've been this way for as long as any of us can figure, and it just seems like how our brain works.

But so much of what makes us better/healthier/happier has been intentional stuff. Switching on purpose to spread the load. Talking about where our headmates are from to distract from the bad thoughts. Working on undoing and challenging the internal rules. Accepting, inviting, and seeking out the strange because it's fun. Building a headspace because we wanted one.

And like, there's a lot of ways this shakes out in other places in our lives. Being trans on purpose. Autistic on purpose. Adhd on purpose. Ace on purpose.

It really blurs this line between identities chosen and ones embraced. There's goals that we work towards intentionally. Which makes it easier to drop the pretense of doing it the "right" way and doing it the way that works for us. Grasping (in the "embracing" sort of way) the why and how of what we're doing. Looking for the steady bits of improvement and inches towards those goals, and dropping or tweaking what isn't getting us that direction. Trusting that when the progress isn't coming that we'll be able to navigate from there; either giving it more time or finding a new strategy.

There's this emphasis Roki puts on doing that we've been applying here since before he showed up, that he's put into eccentric but apt words. Turning existing from a passive process to an active action.

Doing it on purpose.

#idk how basic bitch life advice this is #pretty sure weve heard it plenty before #but the way it clicks now feels personally inspiring and hopeful #faye post

[band--psycho]

Fred Weasley x Reader-Just Friends

Inspired by the song Señorita by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello

This is a lot longer than I had originally planned, but I hope you all enjoy this! 💛

Warnings:Smut/Teasing (18+)

“Earth to Y/n,” my friend Lucy snapped her fingers in front of my face, knocking me out of my daydream.

“Sorry,” I mumbled an apology, taking a mouthful of my food to try and act normal, as well as distract myself from the thoughts that were racing through my head. 

“Where’d you go?” My other friend, Charlotte, questioned; eyebrows raised quizzically. 

“She was probably thinking about Fred Weasley” Lucy teased with a small smirk, seeing straight through my act. 

“Why would I be thinking about Fred?” I countered, trying to keep my tone neutral so that Lucy would think that she was wrong. 

Lucy shook her head briefly before taking a bite of her toast; she knew how close Fred and I were, but we were just friends. Though the look that was showing in her eyes when they meet mine, said that she wasn't fooled by answer, especially when her eyes glanced down at the hickey on my neck that I had tried so hard to cover, “You know why, or were you with someone else last night?” 

Damn it.

Last night.

The memories flashed in my brain like a dream. 

The way Freds hands explored every inch of my body; the way his smirk grew on his face when I moaned his name as he pounded into me, his lips, the fiery lust burning in his eyes…

The way he made me feel a way no one else ever had. 

A small scoff left my lips,as I tried to ignore the dampness forming in my panties just at the mere thought of last night, “Fred and I are just friends.”

Just friends. 

That’s all we were. 

That’s all we were. I kept mentally repeating that to myself, reminding myself of what we were. 

Last night was the first time we’d slept together, and maybe if that was it then reminding myself that we were just friends wouldn’t be so hard.

But it wasn’t just about last night; it was about how he’d been toward me since the school year started, and how I had been with him.  

The many times we’d almost kissed; in the library, in the common room, down by the boathouse. The way our eyes lingered on one another just a few seconds too long for friends…and the way that no matter how many times I told myself to put some distance between us, I never could. 

Because I wanted more; I had since the first time we almost kissed.

I wanted him. 

I wanted to be his. 

I wondered if I would have still felt this way had I been sorted into Slytherin; would we have even been friends? Would we have even acknowledged each other? Or would we just be strangers to one another? 

Part of me thought that that would be easier; for our paths to have never crossed. 

My family hated him and his family; and if they got wind that I had feelings for him..well it wouldn’t be good, for either of us. 

Charlotte opened her mouth slightly, as if she was about to ask a question, but before she could I heard footsteps walking behind me; that’s when I saw who it was.

Fred. 

I spent the rest of the morning unable to shift the ache in my chest. 

Fred and I are just friends; those words kept replaying in my head. 

I didn’t want that. 

I didn’t want to just be ‘friends’ with him; but maybe this was for the best. 

I just needed to make sure nothing else happened between us; I just needed to keep my distance from him. 

Thankfully, Fred and I didn’t really have many classes together until tomorrow, so I could at least avoid him for the rest of the day. 

Care of Magical Creatures was my last class for today, and despite the chill in the air I decided to wander into the forest; mainly so that I didn’t have to see Fred but also so I could clear my head and avoid any more questions from my friends.

But my mind couldn’t help but think about last night…

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this, love?” he whispered, his lips ghosting over mine as he slowly thrusted a finger inside of me, “How long I’ve wanted you.”

He’d been teasing me for what felt like hours, first with his fingers, then his tongue, then both until he finally started fucking me with his cock. 

I practically jumped out of my skin when I felt one hand cover my mouth as the other pulled on my waist. 

I was going to scream, that was until I saw a flash of ginger hair, followed by an all too familiar voice, “It’s just me, love.”

“Fred, what are you doing?” I snapped, the adrenaline still burning in my veins. 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” his words weren’t a question, they were a statement. 

I could see the hurt lingering in his eyes as the words left his lips, and it hurt like hell, seeing him sad because of what I’d done. 

But it was for the best; that’s what I kept telling myself, yes this was painful, but nowhere near as painful as if things continued between us.  

I didn’t answer his statement. 

I just began walking away. 

Distance. That’s what we needed, what was best for us. 

And that’s what I had to put between us.

Though I didn’t get very far before his hand was wrapped around my wrist and I was pushed up against a tree, his other hand next to my shoulder, barricading me against the tree. 

The chill that once floated in the air was all but eradicated in that moment; all that I could feel was the heat radiating between the two of us. 

“So we’re just friends, huh?” 

His tone was darker than a few moments ago; and I could see the anger flickering in his eyes.

“Just friends?” he repeated, his lips inches from mine. 

Oh how I wanted to kiss him. 

To just say fuck everything as close the distance between us. 

I was hanging onto the last strands of the rational side of my mind when I nodded and said “Just friends,” though my voice was certainly not as confident as I had intended, 

“You sure about that, love?” 

I was trying to think of an answer, and then the hand that was next to me on my thigh.

I let out a quivering breath as I felt his hand go higher and higher, until he was so close to the place I craved him. 

I was soaked, I knew that already. 

I was a mess and he’d barely done anything to me yet and yet all I craved was for more.

His lips, his hands, they were making it impossible for me to think clearly. 

I glanced up into his eyes and I saw the same glint as last night; he knew exactly what he was doing to me, and he was loving it.

“You say we’re just friends,” he continued, his voice low and barely above a whisper, “but friends don’t know the way you taste..” 

A small whimper left my lips before I could stop it, which only made a smug smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“And you, love,” he continued, pressing his body closer to mine, so that I could feel just how hard he was, “taste fucking divine,”

All rationality had left my mind as I finally closed the distance, crashing my lips onto his; my free hand tugging at his ginger locks in an attempt to deepen the kiss. 

“Just friends?” Fred chuckled breathlessly before lightly pecking my lips,

“Meet me tonight at our usual spot” 

I couldn’t help but frown at his words.

I needed him. 

Now. 

I needed to be fucked and the denial he had just given me made my pussy ache with pure desire.

Another chuckle left his lips as his hand softly caressed my cheek, “I’ll give you what you want, baby, don’t worry.” 

And with that he released my wrist and walked away from me, leaving me a breathless, wet, needy mess against the tree.

Tagging:

@xacatalepsyx @gloryekaterina @yn-ymn-yln@darthwheezely @jamie-lee666 @megaprincesscakes @skyofficialxx @beeroses @amaryllis23 @aboukie @munsinner @little-diable @girl-next-door-writes @the-chaotic-cow @camilyb @justreadingficsdontmindme @malfoys-demigod @misshale21 @msmarvelknight @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @invisible-ninja @meteora-fc @howlingmadlady @daedreams @jazzyllemmon @realandloud @alexxavicry @onyourgoddamnleft @annajona @myaloveee @instabull @simonsbluee @pappydaddy @book-dragon03 @fangirlsfandomsss

#fred weasley #fred weasley imagines #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley smut #harry potter era imagine #harry potter era imagines #hp fred weasley

[sunshowerwriting]

Courting An Omega

(OHSHC) Alpha! Kyoya Ootori x Omega! Male Reader

1.9 k words

SFW! A/B/O au

You were the only omega in the host club, and that came along with plenty of its unique difficulties, and although you had plenty of alpha’s interested in courting you you had always turned them down. That is until one day when you hear a rumor about an alpha you’ve had your eye on since the beginning.

It was an interesting experience being the only omega in the host club. Not necessarily a bad experience, but you wouldn’t call it all good either. The girls loved it. Even the other omegas liked being hosted by you. But being the only omega host, surrounded by mostly alpha’s was what really made it interesting.

The hosts were very good about treating you well, and making sure the guests of the host club treated you well too. But even they couldn’t keep away every alpha looking to court you. You supposed it was just a small price to pay for being part of the host club in the first place. Especially as an unclaimed omega in the host club.

But you loved the host club and you loved getting to entertain the guests. So you had no intention of leaving the host club any time soon. So you simply got used to the courting propositions almost daily. There was one other reason you wanted to stay in the host club so badly too though. 

Kyoya Ootori.

Kyoya caught your eye as soon as you came to Ouran Academy. It was hard not to be enamored by the cool type. He was the type of alpha that plenty of omegas dreamed of, and you were no exception. You both had grown close in your time of being a host, he looked out for you and you were happy to spend time with him doing whatever he was up to. But even from the beginning you knew you wanted to be more than Kyoya’s friend. 

You were almost certain Kyoya knew about your “little” crush on him. But he had never brought it up. Not once in your time of being a host together had he ever mentioned knowing. It confused you. Kyoya turned down omegas all the time, and even sometimes before they had the chance to confess to him, so why had he never mentioned anything.

You had come up with plenty of ways he could bring it up, even if he was trying to be nice about it. You could imagine him saying “Let's keep our relationship professional.” or even him casually bringing up that he wasn’t looking for an omega right now. But he never had. Perhaps he just hadn’t noticed that you were practically dying for him to court you. But there was this little hope in your brain that maybe he had realized you liked him, and he was simply waiting for a good time to ask your parents to court you. But you tried not to get your hopes up. 

Today was looking to be just like any day in the host club. Girls fawning over you and the rest of your fellow hosts and the interesting interactions that came with that. You were sitting with Haruhi today, hosting alway came easier with them so you were happy for the company. Your focus was entirely on the girls and Haruhi, you hadn’t been worrying about any of the other hosts. That is until Hikaru and Karou came over.

“Have you heard the news?” Hikaru spoke. His voice full of mischievous intent. 

He and Karou were definitely trying to peak you and Haruhi’s interest, but it seemed to catch the attention of the girls more than it did either of you. 

“What news?” One of the girls asked.

“Oh maybe we shouldn’t say. I mean it is just a rumor.” Karou said, feigning innocence.

“You brought it up.” Haruhi said, clearly ready to be done with this conversation before it even began.

The twins rolled their eyes in sync but ignored the comment.

“Well I heard that Kyoya is planning to start courting an omega.” Hikaru said.

The girls gasped almost comically. But the real jewel, at least to Hikaru and Karou, was your reaction. Your eyes widened like saucers, and you let out a much more quiet gasp. 

You immediately looked away, trying to hide your reaction from the twins. But they saw, and then they flanked both of your sides so you couldn’t escape their words. 

“So you hadn’t heard Y/n?” Hikaru asked.

Before you could give any sort of response Karou spoke. 

“Yeah, we thought you would’ve known.”

Their words confused you, sure you and Kyoya were close, but he hadn’t told you anything like that. And I mean why would he. Courting is a very personal thing between alphas and omegas, even when you aren't as private as Kyoya. 

“Why would I have known.”  You asked, trying your best to sound uninterested. 

“Because the word going around is that Kyoya is gonna ask to court you.” Hikaru said.

It was time for you to be shocked again. How could a rumor like that even be started? And it couldn’t possibly be true right? Kyoya Ootori wanting to court you? Your face got hot at the thought. That couldn't be right, could it?

Your shock or embarrassment was apparently evident on your face because the twins began laughing hysterically. Haruhi rolled her eyes, you assumed at the twins but chose to say nothing. The girls who had become onlookers to most of this conversation took this as an opportunity to jump in. 

“Oh! You would let him wouldn’t you Y/n?” One of the girls started. 

“I mean it's Kyoya! Who would say no to him?” The other girl added. 

“And he did say he had important business to attend to today didn’t he!” The third girl said. 

Having their focus on you in this way only made you feel more embarrassed and you tried desperately to think of any escape from this conversation. It appeared the gods were not on your side today however. Because just in that moment the twins locked eyes on the freshly returning Kyoya. They immediately grabbed hold of your arms and dragged you over to him, giggling all the while. 

“Kyoya!” They said in unison, effectively gaining the alpha’s attention. 

“What is it?” Kyoya asked.

You noticed him giving you a look over after seeing the twins dragging you with them, but it didn't seem any different from how he normally looked at you. Before you could get too far back into your head you heard Karou speak. 

“We heard that you might have something to tell our dear omega friend here!”

“Why don't you go ahead and tell him. I’m sure he’s just dying to know.” Hikaru finished. 

If looks could kill the twins would have been dead on the spot. You would have thought the icy glare Kyoya sent them both would have at least made them pause for a moment but the twins laughed at Kyoya. They pushed you a little closer to him and then they backed up, giggling to themselves the whole way.

Kyoya took a moment to compose himself. Sighing deeply and shaking his head almost like he was physically shaking off the encounter with the twins. After a moment he made eye contact with you again. The look on his face was much gentler than it had been previously, but it still held that icy aloofness that was always there with Kyoya. 

“Why don’t we go talk outside? Away from all of these people.” 

The way he phrased it would have made you chuckle if you weren't so nervous. You nodded and followed him out into the hallway.When he said outside you thought he meant out in the hallway, but he kept moving in the direction of the garden so you were forced to follow after. The walk there was silent and although it was a relatively short distance it felt like an eternity. You were dying to know what he had to say to you, especially if it really did relate to him courting someone. 

As soon as you stepped outside Kyoya took in a deep breath. He didn’t say anything right away so you took the time to look around. The gardens were as they always were. Rather empty, but very pretty nonetheless. Flowers were blooming and the leaves on all of the bushes looked healthy and green. 

Before you could get to lost in your surroundings Kyoya spoke. 

“So what did they tell you?”

He sounded annoyed but it didn’t seem to be directed at you. Still the thought of telling him what the twins told you made you hesitate. You bit your lip before you spoke, trying to figure out the best way to word it. 

“Well, they said that you were planning to start courting someone.” You said, trying your best to keep your nerves at bay. 

“That’s it?”

Kyoya was more than skeptical. You could hear in his voice that he didn’t believe you. Or rather he knew you weren’t telling him everything. 

“They mention that the rumor was that you were looking to court me.” You continued.

It was best to be honest with Kyoya, one way or another he’d work it out and there was no point in delaying whatever he had to say about everything any longer either. 

Kyoya sighed and shook his head. He stayed quiet for another minute clearly thinking over something but you couldn't quite figure out what exactly was going through his head. So you stood and waited for him to speak again, and thankfully he didn’t keep you in suspense too long. 

“Well I suppose they were right.”

His words caught you off guard somehow. Even if the possibility of what the twins had said being true wasn’t THAT shocking to you, Kyoya just nonchalantly saying something like that still startled you to a halt. You stared at him for a minute, blinking rapidly to somehow process what he had said. 

“They… They were?”

Your words came out sounding more baffled than you intended and you're surprised it didn’t get more of a reaction out of Kyoya. But he simply smiled at you. A soft gentle smile that you rarely got to see with him. 

Kyoya reached over to grab your hand. He held it so gently in both of his and he looked at you with more emotion in his eyes than you’d ever seen.

“I would like to make you my omega. If you’ll let me, I would like to start the courting process.” He started.

You tried to speak but he continued before you could get more than a noise out. 

“We’ve gotten very close over your time in the host club, and I am thankful for that. But I would like to get to know you even more personally. I would like you to be my omega, and I promise to treat you with all the care you deserve.”

You were shocked by the words coming out of Kyoya’s mouth. You had only ever dreamed of hearing these things from Kyoya Ootori. Yet here you were, wide awake in front of him, and he was asking to court you. 

Kyoya took a final deep breath before finishing his thoughts. 

“I’ve spoken to my father about this and although he isn’t pleased he’s agreed to our courtship. I’ve spoken briefly with your parents as well, but I would like to talk to them with you so long as you agree.” He said, his words faltering a bit towards the end. “So will you let me court you?”

With his final words, and the shaky tone they were said in, you broke out into a smile. You weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh at the idea that he thought you’d say no to him, or cry at just how sincere he was being. But you squeezed into his hand as tightly as you could and answered the question you had been hoping to hear for so long now excitedly. 

“Of course!”

#🌦 writes #ouran high school host club #ohshc #kyoya ootori #kyoya ootori x male reader #kyoya x male reader #ohshc x male reader #x male reader #x reader #fanfic #ohshc writing #omegaverse #omega reader

[wasyago]

Your art is such a huge inspiration for me , i was wondering if you had any tips on anatomy ? Your way of doing it is so fluid and fun to look at and i struggle a lot with stiffness .

welp, long post incoming, sorry i really didn't want to write all of this on the canvas, so most of it will be in text + pictures

(also please keep in mind that this is not a 100% correct way to do this, but this is how i do it)

first, a little secret you need to know. none of my drawings are actually anatomically correct-- its more about proportions and lines of motion than it is about anatomy (since you said you struggle with stiffnes). now, of course anatomy is important, especially if you're going for something more realistic, but i'd say its not the first thing you should focus on. for me, anatomy is something i learn slowly and gradually as i go and as i need (and forget soon after).

i think proportions are in a way a lot more helpful than anatomy, because you can easily change them according to the character's needs and it'll still look believable. so like.

arms from wrist to elbow and from elbow to shoulder are roughly the same size, same with legs.

character's open palm is the same size as their face from chin to hairline.

the thickness of the neck depends not on the size of the head but the size of shoulders. so, if the shoulders are broad and muscular the neck will be too. if the shoulders are small then the neck will be thinner, etc.

when hands are pressed to the body, elbows are in line with the waist and the palm is roughly below the hips.

length of legs in relation to the body is directly responsible for how tall the character looks. if they're the same size - character looks average, if the legs are shorter than the body the character looks shorter, and if the legs are longer then the character looks taller.

and then for the face.... i literally forgot everything about face proportions uhhhh. well. the ears sit in the middle of the head and are in the same dimensions as the nose. the spaces from hairline to eyebrows to tip of the nose to chin are all the same size. mouth sits on 2/3 between the nose and the chin, leaving more space for the chin. eyes are the same size and the space between them is equal to the size of one eye. (this is much easier to explain in a drawing)

and then to make your character stand out and look unique you change some of the proportions. make their eyes bigger, ears smaller, arms longer or legs shorter. the difference between knowing the proportions and breaking them on purpose vs not following the proportions at all, is that when you know what you're breaking it looks intentional and it has a meaning and it makes sense to the viewer, instead of you breaking all the rules without knowing what they are. just remember to emphasize it enough for your style, because if you overdo or don't do enough it might look out of place. again, its all about balance.

and now for the lines of motion... i dont exactly know how to explain them, because there's not really a correct way to do them? but basically its a line that follows and sets the motion. yeah. its what makes the characters look less stiff. and its not exactly imaginary lines, but they're not simply visible either. its the lines that the silhouette of the character follows, the direction their limbs or elements of clothing create. you're basically creating those patterns that the pose follows, and you know us humans we sure love our patterns, so the brain subconsciously recognizes that there's a pattern and the image then feels more structured, more real in a sense?

i have no damn idea how to put it into words, but. um. diagonal lines are dynamic, straight lines (in relation to the canvas) are stiff. its like a square looks stiff but a rombos looks flowy even if they're basically the same thing. so to make your characters look more dynamic you need to build the pose on diagonals and not straight lines. and if you want the pose to look stable then you need to balance it out with lines of motion that go in an opposite direction. sort of like you put two rocks on the ends of a plank to balance it out instead of putting no rocks at all because the plank will balance on its own. it creates flavor and weight and intention, sort of like "this plank balances because of the rocks" instead of "the plank balances because there's nothing". sorry i get carried away with the metaphors--

you can use the stiff/dynamic thing however you want for whatever purpose you need. for example making the bottom of the character who is standing still be parallel to the canvas, but keeping their body diagonal and dynamic, helps to make the character feel stable and set in the drawing, like they're standing on firm ground. keeping a background or some element of the drawing stiff but making the character dynamic emphasizes the movement and focuses attention on the character. but making both the background and the character dynamic creates a fully dynamic composition and the feeling like everything is in motion. its an interesting balance but the more you draw the more you understand it.

hope this helps :D

#yagotalk #feels like i forgot something...... oh well #if you have any more specific questions feel free to ask #how to yago

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

“people only say i’m low support needs / high functioning autistic because i can speak 🙃” often followed by this is why functioning labels are BS or support needs labels are bad or why they are actually high support needs they just internalize it (while being able to perform bADLs and some iADLs independently on typical day, able to keep own safety, etc).

while able to verbally speak is not the only way to have significant support needs or be low functioning, being nonverbal not required to be high support needs (and also some nonverbal ppl aren’t high support needs),

being nonverbal or nonspeaking or minimally verbal is a significant thing that requires a lot of help, and it often doesn’t exist alone. as in, the people who say the quote above don’t realize nonverbal people are not “just like them but just can’t speak.”

being nonverbal/nonspeaking/minimally speaking/unreliably speaking (unreliable as in apraxia not as in lose speech) by itself is a thing that need significant attention to because need give extra! additional! support to gain functional communication. for most (if not all!) nonverbal nonspeaking people, functional communication is not guaranteed, it doesn’t develop naturally like most speaking people, either because of skills barrier, or external barrier like lack of resources, or both.

so, being nonverbal alone needs often intensive and long term intervention like speech therapy and AAC. even if you do everything right, give the most up to date affirming therapy, learning any AAC takes time, whether high tech or low tech. and they almost always require external help to reach their full communicative potential.

being able to functionally communicate (speech/sign/AAC, etc, but society put most emphasis on speech so you will have easier time if can speak) is such a fundamental part of our lives, it is severely limiting when you don’t have access to it. it inherently puts you at a disadvantage.

but being nonverbal often don’t exist alone.

being nonverbal means you have trouble with expressive language. sometimes that expressive language trouble is just you can’t speak.

but more often, there is more. like trouble communicating with more than one word at a time / multi word phrases / short broken sentences. or have small or basic vocabulary. difficulty remembering words. cannot grasp basic or complex grammar. have trouble find words. etc.

others may have extremely limited expressive language in all areas, even if you give them the best AAC and instructions, give them picture cards and photos, give them pen and paper, etc. yes, there are nonverbal people who may not be able to ever learn most or any form of AAC for it to be functional or reliable.

many nonverbal people may also have receptive language issues and have trouble understanding language. they may not understand the question being asked or the instructions given to them. they may only learn to read picture books with simple sentences, or not learn to read at all.

or, they also have intellectual disability, which affect everything not just language. they may be nonverbal because of their ID. they may struggle with everything above, and have trouble with problem solving, have trouble understand cause and consequence (not just rewards/punishment), difficulty remembering things, developmental delay, etc.

or, they have global apraxia (full body apraxia), or severe dyspraxia, which means they have trouble coordinate movements. they may have trouble dressing themselves, feeding themselves, physically follow directions, fine motor, gross motor, drooling, etc.

i have heard nonverbal people w severe full body apraxia describe it as a brain-body disconnect, their body have mind of its own. their mouth make noises they don’t want to make and cannot control, their body point to “yes” for a question when they mean “no” (so you can see how this impacts AAC use, yes?), their body running around when they just want to be still, etc.

it gets even tricky because! many of our understanding of intelligence and IQ tests require good enough motor skill. they assume that the way you act is the way you are internally. they assume you pointing to “no” when being asked “is the sky blue” if you genuinely not understand color, the sky, or language, not that your body pointed to the wrong thing.

many people w ID have poor motor skills. but many people w severe apraxia don’t have ID.

and this is just things i’ve seen in nonverbal autistic people. there are so many nonverbal people who are nonverbal because of brain damage, genetic disorders, and so on.

not to mention that being nonverbal and not having access to functional communication—not able to communicate what you want, don’t want, boundaries, socialize, etc. is a frustrating experience to say the least. having someone speak over you, make every decision for you, assume you can’t understand (whether you can or not), not even bother speaking to you, talking about you in front of you, etc. and when nothing else works, and you are frustrated and in overload, you meltdown, you “act out” to try to regain control or get others to listen to you, or you act out bc “other people say these things about me that’s not true so i might as well make it true.” then you get labeled with having behavior issues!

so yes, while it’s ignorant for people to dismiss speaking autistics just because they can speak, which is an issue that needs to be addressed, the way many low support needs speaking autistic talk about it is also ignorant.

#originally wanted to go in one direction but ended up going a different one instead?? #sorry if the beginning doesn’t really correspond w the rest #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #actually nonverbal #nonverbal #nonspeaking #autism #autistic #🍞.txt

[yawnderu]

Stray - Chapter II

Author's note: not a lot happening here, just pushing this chapter out of my drafts before I start writing about the MW3 campaign. Sobbed for 4 hours about the fanfic in my head after seeing spoilers💀 No spoilers in this chapter, future chapters will be tagged accordingly and having a warning so you don't get spoiled either.

''Focus.'' Ghost's British accent rung in your earpiece, his deep voice barely above a whisper as you took overwatch with a sniper rifle. He didn't have the heart to tell you he could hear your fast, hard breathing on the comms, memories of the past flooding all over while your brain is stuck visiting people who are still alive in the graveyard of your heart.

''Enemy down, LT.'' You whispered as you took down an enemy guard, your focus on the scope not faltering until you saw the body dropping, blood quickly pooling up around their body before your attention was taken by movement in the distance, immediately using the scope to see better. You could easily make out the shape of another sniper, the camouflage outdated for the season accompanied by movement, yet it didn't seem they could see you yet.

''Spotted an enemy.'' You mutter in comms, keeping them open in case you had to run or took a shot. Ghost mutters a soft ''roger'' on the line and you line up the scope to take a perfect shot, easily finding the enemy sniper's head, who isn't even looking into their scope. You take a deep breath, relaxing your body before your finger pulls the trigger, the slight recoil hitting your body, yet you're still looking to confirm the kill.

''Moving.'' You don't wait for further comms before grabbing your equipment, tactical camouflage draped over your body as you swiftly run around, laying on your stomach and examining the area. It was an easy mission— gather intel and go, the barely secured safehouse making it easier for Ghost and you to complete this and go home.

You scan the area, eyes fully focused on the surroundings, looking for any possible movement. You saw none, though you were still highly alert, focusing on making sure your Lieutenant makes it out alive. It doesn't take long before he gathers the intel and you rendezvous at the helipad, your gloved fist raised slightly as you both settle in, his bumping yours after a few seconds of staring.

You lean closer to Ghost, speaking loudly over the rumbling sound of the blades."You think we'll take down Makarov?" He gives you a side eye for a second before turning his face towards yours, hesitantly nodding.

"We got plenty of good soldiers on our side, luv. There's always a risk, but..." He seems hesitant to answer, knowing he can lay his emotions bare to you, but refusing to do so.

"'M not sure." He finally replies and you simply nod, leaning back on your seat while you look at the background get smaller the higher you go. You both know Makarov is the ultimate threat. The kingfish. A man so deadly who has no hesitation on killing people, over 30.000 deaths caused by him, and truth to be told, you're all scared you'll join the growing number.

"Bonnie!" Soap says once he's back to base, arms wrapping around your waist as he lifts you up in the air and spins you, a ritual that started out as a joke whenever you both came back from missions without the other. After over a year of knowing these men and being stationed with them for so long, you eventually develop routines together, no matter how extra and annoying they might seem.

"Played rough with the Russians?" He asked with a cheeky smirk, arm wrapped around your shoulder as you walked back to the barracks. Ghost disappeared the moment you got back, likely to unwind and have some time alone before being practically forced by all of you to go to a bar. He knows the invitation is coming.

"Not many around— Ghost did all the dirty work down there." You shrug, arm wrapped around his waist as you walk, trying your best to ignore the way his toned muscles feel over your fingers. No. Soap is like a brother to you. At least, you've been telling yourself that for the past year or so.

"Sounds like him." He seems more relaxed now, the slight nervousness he gets whenever you or Ghost go on missions without him or more reinforcements slowly dissipating, giving him room to simply enjoy himself. And enjoy himself he will, knowing Price, Gaz and him will force Ghost and you to go to a new bar near base in a few hours.

"Ya should go shower." You raise an eyebrow and look up at him, hesitantly smelling your armpit to make sure you don't smell after hours on the field, laying still in dirt and under the sun. You don't even smell that bad.

"Asshole." Soap finally lets go of you with a laugh, narrowly missing a sharp kick thrown his way, running away like the coward he is.

#cod mw2 #cod mwii #simon ghost riley #ghost mw2 #simon riley #ghost cod #soap call of duty #john soap mactavish #soap mw2 #soap cod #john mactavish #mwii #cod mw22 #johnny soap mactavish #cod #ghost x f!reader #ghost x reader #ghost x you #ghost x y/n #141 x reader #mw2 x reader

[admiringlove]

exes.

synopsis. hq boys bringing up their exes during an argument.

genre. headcanons; angst to fluff.

characters. sakusa kiyoomi, kuroo tetsurō, oikawa tōru.

warnings. swearing, crying, etc.

author’s note. i contemplated publishing this, it’s been sitting in my drafts for a month :/

navigation. main menu, hq menu.

— SAKUSA KIYOOMI.

sakusa was a very private person. so, dating him came with the fact that he had boundaries. and his career wasn’t easy on you either, because he preferred to keep your relationship private. 

you weren’t the type of person to argue with that. in fact, even you preferred it this way. it would be way easier if the two of you were hidden away from the crazy fans and the invasive media. so you went along with it. you’ve known kiyoomi since college; you’ve adjusted to his mannerisms, his quirks, his ups and downs—everything, really. he couldn’t be more grateful to you. 

but everything came crippling down when you thought that it had been too long since the two of you started going out. that maybe, just maybe, you and kiyoomi could still lead a private life if he just announced to his fans that he has a significant other—just mentioning it, or posting a story on his instagram or any other social media. the first time you had brought it up, he’d dismissed it lightly. you’d tried again and again, but he just wouldn’t budge. 

just like today. but something was off about today as well. you hadn’t exactly had a good day at work, and neither had he. but you approached the argument either way, even though you probably shouldn’t have. 

“we’re happy, aren’t we?” he asks in a taunting way, “why do we need to tell the whole world we’re together if we’re content.”

“omi,” you take in a sharp breath, “we have been together for eight months. eight. that’s more than half a year.”

“yeah, so?�� he raises an eyebrow, shrugging. you hate the way he’s so dismissive whenever the two of you come to a disagreement. while you’re usually level-headed, you tended to have a complete change in personality when you were arguing with someone. just like today. 

“do you- oh my god, kiyoomi!” you huff, “i’ve been nothing but patient for the past seven months, but this is a limit that you’re crossing. i thought that after so much time you would be comfortable but no-”

“this is getting annoying,” he sighs, “why are you acting out like this? everything was fine until last month.”

“because,” you grit your teeth, “i don’t wanna be some secret fling anymore. if you can’t take responsibility then i don’t want to be a part of whatever this is.”

“you do realize you’re behaving just like nami, right? that nagging pain in my ass who kept telling me to make our relationship official even though we dated for only two months. 

“w-what?”

“what else do you think?” he taunts. you can tell he’s lost his cool but the things he’s saying pricks at your heart. it hurts. it hurts so much that you don’t know how tears start flowing down from your eyes. sakusa isn’t looking at you, he’s pouring himself a glass of water in the open kitchen while you look at his back in disbelief from the living room. you wipe at your cheeks and when your boyfriend finally turns around is when he realizes how badly he’s screwed up.

“[y/n]-”

“save it, you jerk,” you spat, “go find another pain in the ass to sleep next to tonight, i’m going over to atsumu’s.”

sakusa’s eyes widen in fear, he keeps the half-empty glass on the counter haphazardly, following after you like a lost puppy until you slam the door on his face. he flinches, breathing unevenly and irrational thoughts racing in his brain. 

“i’m sorry,” he says, leaning his forehead against the white door, “that was a jerk move.”

he hears shuffling on the inside—it felt like you were sliding your back down on the door. he heard a few sniffs, and guilt ate away at him. he didn’t mean to hurt you at all, but the words came out on their own. maybe it had been the swarm of fans outside the gym today because of hinata’s birthday that ticked him off. or the fact that one of his tires punctured on the way back home from work. he doesn’t know why all of this happened, but he wants to go back to how the two of you would be in the bathroom applying lotions and creams to your faces before going to bed. you would make jokes saying that kiyoomi looks like a ghost and he would say that you don’t look too different either. sometimes he’d poke your waist before leaving the bathroom just to see how you’d react. sometimes he’d kiss the top of your head and immediately make a yucky expression because some of the lotion got onto his lips and made his whole mouth taste like bitter, soapy flowers. 

he doesn’t get a reply from you. but he still stands there, waiting for you to open the door or give him an earful. 

and after around fifteen minutes, you do come back out. but with a bag filled with some essentials, and a mask covering your face. sakusa’s eyes perk up, “where are you going?”

“move,” you seethe, “i’m going to atsumu’s for the night.”

“i can’t let you do that,” he says, shaking his head and trying to cup your cheeks. you take a step back from him, and his heart breaks. he tries to look into your eyes but you’re looking everywhere but at his own.

“well excuse me if i don’t wanna be a pain in someone’s ass,” you mock, “now, move.”

“i didn’t mean it,” he cries. his eyes are red, and he looks miserable. you roll your eyes, even though you want to believe him, “omi, i’ve known you for five years. you say shit you mean when you’re angry.”

“i wasn’t angry,” he reasons, “i’ve had a bad day, and i know that doesn’t excuse anything but you’re not like her. i’m so sorry. you didn’t deserve it. i don’t deserve you.”

“look, kiyoomi,” you sigh, “figure it out, okay? i don’t wanna be treated like crap. i’m leaving for now, but i’ll come back later.”

“[y/n]-”

“no, omi,” you say, walking away from him, “i said, figure it out. i’ll be back tomorrow night. until then, sort your thoughts out. okay?”

you turn, walking towards the door and opening it. you glanced back one last time to say goodbye when you catch a glimpse of his face.

“please don’t leave me,” he whispers, his voice barely audible. your eyes soften, “i’m not leaving you, dummy. i’m just goin’ over to atsumu’s to cool off for the night. i’ll be back tomorrow. till then, just. reflect, or something.”

“o-oh. um, okay. uh, can i ask you a question before you leave?”

you nod, humming as you grip your bag tightly. his voice is quiet, “are we gonna be okay?”

“i don’t know, omi. i don’t know. but we can try.”

— KUROO TETSURŌ.

kuroo was always sophisticated. you appreciated that about him. in fact, it's what drew you to him more. he was so ambitious in college; he could go on about volleyball for hours. it would be like that on your dates at first. you, him, a muffled movie, blankets and random talks about your futures together.

but when your futures are what drift you apart, can you really blame each other? you weren't college kids anymore—the pipedreams you shared weren't real, life caught on and jobs became hectic. schedules didn't fit with one another anymore. you grew up, and so did he.

and that might've taken a turn for the worse. the complete opposite of what you had imagined it would be.

"tetsurō," you say, losing your patience by the second, "i'm only asking for you to make time. you work overtime way more than you need to and it's honestly affecting our relationship-"

"does your job not affect our relationship?" he asks cockily, raising an eyebrow. you scoff, "you know i gave up that promotion so we could spend more time together. why can't you put in some effort too? it's not like i'm asking for much!"

"i'm only working overtime for us, [y/n]. where the hell do you think all the money goes? it's savings. for us. i work for us. what, am i just not supposed to do that anymore?"

"i didn't say that," you pause, "make time for me, tetsurō. that's all i'm asking from you."

he grumbles, running a hand through his gelled hair. and then, he says something under his breath that you thought would've never come out of his mouth.

"nari wasn't like this at all. tch."

you blink, tilting your head to make sure you heard him correctly. he's taking his coat off and hanging it in the rack. he doesn't see the way your eyes fill to the brim with tears as you whisper, "what?"

he pauses abruptly, turning around, "love, i didn't mean-"

"your ex didn't give up her promotion for you because she was fucking her boss behind your back," you grit your teeth, "if you want me to do that too, all you had to do was just say so."

kuroo stops in his tracks. mouth opening and closing like a goldish’s. he looks shocked at the sudden change in your attitude, but he knows it was deserved. you run up the stairs, locking yourself in your shared bedroom as your fiancé paces around the apartment in worry.

he fucked up. and that too, terribly. it took him a long while to move on from his first love—and who was the one who helped him throughout the process of him returning home drunk off his ass or needed soothing? you. you, his best friend, his roommate (at least, that's all you were back then), and someone who was irrevocably in love with him but never uttered a word.

it took him a long time to convince you that he was over his ex, and that he'd realized he was in love with you all along. college kids might've been all you were, but you were intelligent enough to know that he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. his corny chemistry jokes, your clumsy habits, him being better at sports and you being better at video games, him knowing how exactly to make your coffee in the mornings, you knowing just what he needed whenever he was sick. you two just clicked. there was nothing complicated about it, really.

he was the one who proposed to you. and now, it seemed like he was the one who was breaking your relationship into pieces. kuroo cursed, taking his shoes off and racing up the stairs. just then, you stepped out with a bag.

"i'm going over to kenma's," you mutter, "leave me alone for now."

he shakes his head, "no."

you raise an eyebrow at him. your somewhat calm composure scares him, but he continues, "i can't let you leave. i need to fix this."

"you can't just ‘fix this’, tetsurō," you say, trying to walk down the stairs. but he grabs your arm, "i'm sorry. none of that should've been said."

"but you said it anyway, didn't you?" you retort, "what, you want a fortune cookie for apologizing?"

"[y/n]-"

"go back to your so-called nari if you miss her," you snarl, "i'm done."

"no," he cries, "we aren't done. stop."

you continue walking towards the front door, and he grabs your bag. you tsk, trying to take his hand off. but his grip is too strong.

"stop walking away and listen, will you?" he says. his voice is barely a whisper. your eyes cloud with anger, "i've been trying to talk to you for the past hour. but all you've done is demean my feelings for the entire time, and you even had the audacity to compare me to your ex. do you know how hard it was for me to date you in the beginning?"

"i-i do," he sighs, "please, just listen to me. i'm sorry. reminding you of my ex was uncalled for. i won't do that ever again. it was an honest mistake, i swear."

"tetsurō," your voice cracks, "do you even know just how much you hurt me tonight?"

and he sees it. you break down. you stop acting like everything is okay, and your eyes finally let out tears in front of him. you had probably already cried in the bedroom as you packed your overnight bag, but here you were, sobbing as you tightly held onto his dress shirt, hands forming fists. his eyes soften, and he cradles your cheek with his hand, "i know saying 'sorry' isn't gonna be enough. but i really am sorry. i love you, and i can't lose you because i was an idiot and said shit i didn't mean."

he looks up, a few tears of his own falling from his eyes, "i'm sorry. please, just-"

you place your head on his chest, your forehead making contact with his clothed skin. he looks down, abruptly stopping as his hands reach the back of your head, caressing your hair. your cries are quieter than before, tuning down to mere sniffs, "you hurt me, tetsurō."

"i know," he says, nodding, "i shouldn't have said any of that."

"do you," you pause, as if to wonder if you should really say it out loud. to save yourself of the pain, maybe. but you keep going, "do you still think about her?"

kuroo cups your cheeks, forcing you to look into his eyes, "i'm gonna be honest with you. i found some old high school photos on my laptop today. it's the only reason i even thought of her."

you whimper against him. god, how he hates seeing you like this. he kisses the top of your head before reassuring you, "you don't have to worry about me thinking about anyone who's not you. i can assure you that literally everyone around me knows how much i love you."

you almost roll your eyes. he lets out a sad chuckle before continuing, "no, really. kenma gets annoyed by how much i talk about you sometimes. so do some of my co-workers. i was gonna ask you to come to the expo with me, and they were all going to complain about me to you."

a giggle escapes your lips as some tears fall. kuroo presses a kiss to your nose before whispering, "you don't know how much i love you. the words simply aren't enough. and i hate myself for making you think any less."

"tetsu," you let out a sound before wrapping your arms around him. he laughs, wiping a stray drop away from the corner of his eyes. kuroo lets out a strangled sigh, "you don't know how much it means to me that you're calling me that again."

"tetsu," you say again. he looks down to see you peering up at him, "i love you. please don't say anything dumb like that ever again."

"if i do, i give you full permission to throw concentrated hydrochloric acid into my eyes."

— OIKAWA TŌRU.

you were embarrassed by your fiancé today. again.

oikawa tōru was your high-school sweetheart. he was your first love, your everything. his smile made your heart skip a beat, his touch made you forget about the rest of the world, hs gaze made you think all your problems were tiny compared to your love.

until he had to leave, that is. that was probably one of the most strenuous parts of your relationship—life, maybe. he loved you too much to make you feel the pain of his absence, and you loved him too much to let him go without you. so what did you do? you applied to universities in argentina for your courses.

and you got in. the day you broke the news to him through a surprise party with your friends by your side, you saw him be the happiest boy on earth. his eyes went from the dullest brown to being as bright as the sun. his smile returned, and you embarked on a journey. together.

years flew by. you grew older, more mature and responsible. you had some ups and downs—one really bad argument happened back in college where the two of you took some time off and thought about everything you wanted from life. but then he showed up outside your friend's apartment(where you were staying then). it was raining heavily that night, his hair was slopping wet and sticking to his face. he was with someone during your time off, and he realized that everything that he wanted in life was you.

because it was you, who understood him. you, who supported his dreams. you, who he was so irrevocably in love with that he compared everyone else to you. the three-month break meant nothing. the words he had said during the argument meant nothing. he was yours; he was always going to be yours. ever since he met you at the park as a child trying to chase his toy car, he was yours. remember that time when the two of you had your first kiss while star gazing on the roof of your home? yeah, he still blushes while thinking about it.

you were bitter at first—that he'd gone to someone else after the two of you had taken a break. but with time, you understood that too. he couldn't ask for more.

but today irked you. the past two months irked you. you were grown-ups now. you had responsibilities. just as how oikawa was your responsibility, you were his. so why is it that, in the past two months, oikawa tōru stood you up on every single date the two of you had meticulously planned to fit into both of your schedules? all six of them.

"tōru," your voice is stern, "what part of 'you stood me up' don't you understand? even after i spent a week trying to plan tonight out? i get that your career is important but you spending extra hours at the gym practicing isn't work. it's you being stubborn."

"if i'm stubborn then you're a hypocrite," he retorts, "you pin the blame on me all the time. do you not remember how you kept postponing because of your dumb endless meetings? when i was the one that was free? when it wasn't volleyball season?"

"those dumb meetings are why i earn so much more than last year," you're firm as you pour yourself a glass of wine, "you're being childish, tōru. do you know how embarrassing it was for me? at the same restaurant where you've been abandoning me for the past few months? it's been six times where i've had dinner alone."

"oh, so i'm being childish?" he asks, in a mocking tone. his voice gradually getting louder, "i was at work, [y/n]. i had to work. because i have a game next week. what part of that is so complicated for you to understand?"

"what part of 'we planned this beforehand because you have a game next week and won't be free then' is not understandable for you?" you retort, sipping from your glass as you walk toward the living room. the hardwood floors feel nice against your feet, and just as you're about to sit down on the couch, you hear something you never thought you would.

"tch. yuri wasn't like this at all when i was with her."

the glass of wine in your hand almost falls, but you get a hold of your grip in time. the mature argument you thought you were having isn't 'mature' anymore. oh no, it's much more. you place the glass on the coffee table before looking at him with fury.

"excuse me?" your voice is much ruder than before, "the girl you pity fucked? the girl you were with for the three months when we weren't together? the girl you fucked, pretending that it was me? really, tōru?"

he flinches at your sudden change in tone. his lips are pressed in a straight line as he finally looks at you. your eyebrows knitted together in confusion and betrayal, your eyes covered with rage—but oikawa knows that there are tears behind the clouded anger, ready to spill at any given moment. you were an open book to him, but right now, you were building walls between the two of you that he wasn't sure he could break.

"i-i didn't mean that-"

"oh yeah?" you taunt, stepping a little closer, "what would you do if i went back to the one-night-stand i had when we took a break, huh? what then? do you want me to tell you he was better than you?"

he winces at the words. gosh, he doesn't remember the last time you lost your cool in this way. the last time you two had an argument as serious as this, was in college. both of you were childish back then. but now? you were the one who was trying to stay calm and talk it out, whilst he acted like a total buffoon.

"you know what?" you voice cracks, "screw this. screw you. i'm going over to a friend's. fuck whoever you want."

your footsteps are like pins pricking into his heart when you walk up the stairs of your home. the slam of your shared bedroom door makes him flinch, and his eyes close. when they open, he sees your degree hung up on the living room shelf where his trophies and medals sit.

fuck.

he remembers how he'd warned you that argentina would be nothing like japan. back when the two of you were just kids. back when you left your country and came here, just because he would be alongside you. 

he still remembers the day you’d shown him your acceptance letter. you moved halfway across the world for him. you didn’t even bother applying to japanese schools because of him. you learned a whole another language for him. and what did he do in return? he told you that the two-and-a-half month fling he had was better than you. 

he curses himself as he runs up the staircase. when he opens the door to your bedroom, he finally sees you. sitting at the edge of your side of the bed, clutching a bag as small sobs escape your lips. your ring sits prettily on the nightstand, staring back at him in horror. the ring that was always on you, that you never took off, was sitting somewhere that wasn’t your finger. 

he walks up to you slowly. taking in a sharp breath, he kneels down in front of you. he takes your hand in  his, rubbing his thumb against your skin. you choke back a sob as you ask, “what do you want now?”

“i’m sorry,” he voice is soft, “whatever i said down there was uncalled for. i was acting like a child. you shouldn’t have had to go through that. i’m pretty sure that one-night-stand you had would treat you better than how i’m doing at the moment.”

you chuckle before mumbling, “all i wanted was to spend time with you. we even planned it together because i didn’t wanna bother you with the upcoming season.”

god, how he wishes iwa-chan was here right now so he could get a beating. this is probably the first time he wanted to get beaten up by his best friend willingly.

“i know. i’m sorry. i love you, and i think i just,” he pauses, as if thinking of what to say. or confirming in his mind that it’s the right thing to tell you, “i think i said what i said because you weren’t agreeing with me. i got so used to you doing things for me that i took you for granted. and you didn’t deserve any of that. you deserve someone way better than me. hell, you studied your ass off in high-school so you could come to a whole new country just because of me. you did so much for me. i guess... i guess that got to my head a little. you love me so, so much and i’m so grateful. but [y/n], i proposed to you because i don’t think i can even breathe properly without you by my side. so call me selfish, but i still want you to stay. please don’t leave me because i was an arrogant idiot who said things he didn’t really mean.”

“i’m not going to leave you, tōru,” you murmur, “i’m not going anywhere just because we had a stupid argument. we’re both adults.”

“do you um,” he’s scared of completing his sentence because you might say yes, “still need to go over to your friend’s house? i can drop you if you’d like. i don’t want you driving while you’re feeling so low.”

“no, no,” you wipe away your stray tears with your other hand, still holding onto oikawa. you pause, pondering if you really want to say the words you’re thinking, “tōru?”

he hums. 

“please don’t say anything like that ever again,” you look at your lap instead of his honey-brown eyes, “i don’t know what i’d do if you did.”

he understands what you mean. he gets it. he knows that you will leave if he repeats his mistake. because as complacent as you were, you still had a lot of respect for yourself.

“i promise.”

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

#haikyuu angst #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa toru x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #sakusa angst #sakusa kyoomi headcanons #kuroo angst #kuroo tetsuro headcanons #kuroo tetsuro angst #sakusa kiyoomi angst #oikawa angst #oikawa toru headcanons #oikawa toru angst #oikawa drabble #sakusa drabble #kuroo drabble #sakusa fluff #kuroo fluff #oikawa fluff #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! angst #haikyuu!! drabbles #haikyuu!! #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hurt comfort #haikyuu fluff

[newtthetranswriter]

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! I just saw your post about making GO2 x readers. I was wondering if you can make an Aziraphale x reader? The reader is a rank lower than Aziraphale, but more chaotic when they got on earth. Reader's a freaking simp to Aziraphale and tells everything they like about him to Crowley.

Bonus if Crowley literally yeets the reader to Aziraphale for swooning too much.

Word count: 1335

Paring: Aziraphale x reader

A/n: Thank you for requesting I hope you enjoy it. It was nice dipping into the Good Omens fandom for writing. Requests are currently open, just make sure to check my rules and character list before requesting thanks, and enjoy. Also very small season 2 spoilers so read at your own discretion. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

  Having been on earth for the past 6000 years has been wild. I have witnessed and maybe participated in multiple wars, seen the rise and fall of empires, but the best thing I have witnessed on earth is my fellow angel, Aziraphale. I just love his fascination with books, and the workings of human society. The fact that he even is so kind as to help the demon Crowley with tasks that they both happen to be assigned to is amazing, he is such a kind individual and needs to be protected.

   Over the years I have noticed that whenever I’m around him my brain goes fuzzy, like it becomes impossible to think of anything other than him. I have no idea how to tell him this, I mean it’s not like he would feel the same about me. After all that we have been through together I think it’s best if i just keep these feelings to myself, as I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship.

    Well keeping it to myself is far easier said than done as I was currently pestering my favorite fallen angel, and some things may have slipped out.

    “I don’t know when I started feeling this way, I just think he’s so sweet. And the look on his face when he thought his books were destroyed in that church back in ww2, he was so sad and then he realized you saved them he was so happy. I love how he takes care of his books like they are the most important things in this world.” I said, talking the demon's ear off as he just rolled his eyes at me.

    He just continued to sit on the park bench while we were waiting for Aziraphale, watching me pass in front of him. “Why are you telling me this, I don’t care.” He said hoping I would just sit down and shut up.

    I just rolled my eyes and continued knowing it would probably still be a few minutes before the angle showed up. “I just wish I knew what he was thinking in that pretty little brain of his.” I sighed as I sat next to Crowley. “Who am I kidding, he would never like me like that. I’m one misstep from being a demon, he’s so straight laced while I like to cause trouble. He wouldn’t even look my way if we weren’t both angels.” I said exasperated.

  The demon next to me just sighed before hoping the other angel would show up already. “Just because you are more of a morally gray angel doesn't mean he wouldn’t look at you. I mean look at me, I’m a demon and he talks to me.” Crowley said, jestering to himself. “ And trust me he does like you, talks about you whenever you aren’t around.” He said, trying to cheer me up.

   “Yeah right, there is no way Aziraphale, the perfect angel who runs a book shop that is really just a cover for his hoarding problem,  would like me. But it’s whatever, I've resigned myself to watching from afar. I’m fine watching him light up every time he finds a rare book, or finds a new food he likes.” I said in a dreamy voice. “Anyway I’m done talking about it, he should be here soon.”

    Just as I finished the sentence, said angel walked up to us. We both greeted him before checking in on whether any of us have heard from hell or heaven recently, thankfully not. After about ten minutes of quick catch up, Aziraphale stood up and turned to us. “Would either of you care to join me for lunch?” He asked with a bright smile.

   I was about to decline when Crowley spoke up with a wicked smirk. “Oh I’m not in the mood to eat right now but our dear Y/n would gladly join you.” He then pushed me off the bench towards the angel ignoring my glare.

   “Well then, shall be off than Y/n.” Aziraphale said as he reached for my hand. I hesitantly accepted it, not missing the thumbs up Crowley shot my way as me and the angel walked away. 

   As we approached the small dinner we had picked for lunch Aziraphale took notice of me being more quiet than usual. “Is everything alright? You’ve been oddly quiet.” I could hear the concern in his voice as we took our sets.

   I gave him a small smile before responding,”Everything is fine just feeling a little under the weather I guess.” I said hoping he would accept the answer and leave it at that.

   “Oh, are you sure you are up to getting food then, we could go back to the bookshop and I could make you a nice cup of tea?” The angel asked, making my heart swell and blush rush to my checks. “You do look a bit warm.”

   I silently cursed myself of course he would notice me blushing. I tried to think of an excuse. “I’m fine really, it’s just a little warm. Let’s just order.” I watched as he let out a sigh before waving down the waitress and placed our order. I relaxed slightly hoping he finally let it go.

   After about thirty minutes, we had finished eating and were now walking back to Aziraphale’s bookshop. It was an awkward silence, I could tell he wanted to ask me about something but I wasn’t sure what. As we turned a corner on to a less crowded street he stopped suddenly, I turned and looked at him confused. We were only a couple blocks from the bookshop, why did he stop all of a sudden.

   “You’re hiding something from me.” He said out of nowhere, his tone wasn’t angry but more concerned. “I heard you talking with Crowley before. I didn’t hear everything but I could tell it was something about me because you ended the conversation saying ‘he should be here soon.’. And I don’t want to over step but if there is something you need to tell me please just tell me, I promise to listen. I’m really good at Listening.” I could tell he was worried that it was something bad.

   I froze for a second before walking up to him. “It’s nothing bad, I just don’t know how to tell you this.” I said, looking away slightly. “Look, you don’t have to respond now or ever actually, but I like you, a lot. And I know you probably don’t feel the same but I just needed to get it off my chest. I love how much you love books, and helping people.” I finally got the words off my chest hoping to at least still have one of my best friends.

   There was a pause before he smiled at me and grabbed my hands. “How could I possibly not feel the same way? Yes you tend to go about things in a less than angelic way but that’s part of what makes you so amazing. I love that about you, I love that I can talk to you about my rare books and you will listen, I love that you get along with Crowley cause let’s be honest he’s not the easiest to talk with. It’s amazing to have you here. So I do feel the same, and never be scared to tell me your feelings. I am here to listen.”

    I just looked at him in shock. Crowley was right, Aziraphale does feel the same. I was at a loss for words but I settled on giving him the biggest smile I could before pulling him in for a hug. As I pulled from the hug, he placed a hand on my cheek and smiled. I knew that whatever came next, we would have each other's back. Little did I know that what came next was a very naked Gabriel who had no clue who he was or why he was here. This was gonna be fun.

#good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens x reader #aziraphale x reader #aziraphale

[system-of-a-feather]

Alternative System Mind Mapping Method for Communication

[DISCLAIMER: This is not a professional or scientifically or anything really backed method, this is something coming solely from peer / personal experience.]

In regards to an anon ask earlier, I was thinking about it and one of the ways we've approached improving communication - particularly internal - in a way that is a lot less prone to flooding or dealing with trauma or anything too overwhelming - is by approaching it following the concept of Memory Webs

I haven't read up on them recently, but "Memory Webs" were a thing that our AP Psychology teacher in highschool made us do because the AP Psych test was term / jargon heavy. Memory in the human brain has been shown to be HEAVILY associative and the ability to remember and connect things tends to rely on following a "web" of connected topics, ideas, concepts etc from one idea to the next.

So in our AP Psych class, she gave us these GIANT books for Vocabulary Webs that we had to slowly work on, each of which required 6 other vocab words / related concepts, a summarized definition, and an image to represent it. By doing this, you added 6 cues to recall the word (increasing the chance you'd remember it), a visual cue, an episodic memory of working on it, and a definition - all in all improving how connected the word is to other concepts in your brain and making it easier to recall it.

I personally like to look at DID and our parts in a similar manner sometimes where the large issue is that a lot of the nodes in the web of associations are either disconnected or connected through a hard-to-find and/or small chain. In that sense, parts struggle to be held together because they are not associated concepts. It's hard to reach other parts because the dissociative walls (which in our unsubstantiated opinion is less a 'wall' and more so a lack of reinforced neural connections, so I would call them dissociative caverns) keep associations from forming

As a result, alternative to more traditional ways of mapping your system and parts, a method I've liked to internally visualize systems and navigating system dynamics is through a memory web manner. (I actually have never done it physically cause the Ray part of my brain - also the most prominent part writing this rn - rarely liked to front if he didn't have to and did a lot of stuff internally)

Here's a bit of a breakdown using six of our parts if any of you want to try it out.

We personally like it because it strips a lot of trauma and stress off of it and makes it a lot more of a positive and present engaging activity. For the purposes of this, I'll be using the free online app of Milanote cause we've used it before for OC associative webs and I think it'll do fine enough. (Honestly it actually might just be a good way to log alter information now that I'm looking at it if you are at a place in recovery where keeping track of that physically helpful)

So we can start by dropping down the parts we want to include in the form of boards

So from here, we have a bunch of disconnected parts. However, we find that a lot of these parts have things that mean a lot to them, that illicit a strong emotion or reaction from them.

Some parts may lack it more than others (often in our case trauma holders and/or trauma locked parts) and that's okay and to be expected. This is a visualization method and if there isn't much connecting a part that is 100% okay.

For demonstration sake, I will now add bubbles around each part of things that were pretty early apparent that each individual liked.

Also for the purposes of how I know our system works and how I plan to do this, I am actually moving Riku to the center and you will all see why Riku is such an S tier center point with this model

So you can see some connections forming.

Some key things you can take from this visual that also applied to earlier stags of how we connected

Lucille and Riku are and have always been pretty darn connected, they go back as one of the longest duos and were split almost as a pair to deal with academics

Chunn and Ray have a very shared interest of "I don't want to do anything leave me alone"

XIV literally was just a piece of shit early on and didn't have any immediate HARD connections with anyone largely because he never was interested in actually engaging in things he liked in a positive way as his "favorite emotion" at the time was "being pissed off"

Lin - an originally trauma stuck / loop - is very very poorly associated with anything that isn't overtly trauma related (and that is saying something cause Vocaloid is trauma related) and thus has very few connections to other parts

So looking at this though, there are a few things that have some similarities between parts. What you can do is make plans to try to foster the interests that you do have and try to generalize it a bit more to also encompass what interests other parts have. So lets engage in hobbies a little more - explore a few concepts that mean a lot to parts independently - and find some more generalized version of those hobbies

(forgot to add easy listening to Ray's and "only wearing monochrome*" to XIV's earlier) (*there are a lot of nuances and caveats)

Damn, look at that. It's messy and ugly to have in a 2D form. I absolutely hate it, this would be so impossible with our whole system. But HEY, it's very connected - and that's the goal.

Compared to the previous one, you can see how easily it can be for one part's interests to start to drift into another. Because they are largely and strongly associated features to each part, they are a lot more accessible when engaging in their shared / associated connections and interests which makes it easier for the them to stay together near the front, stay associated with one another, and work with and communicate with one another.

Of course anyone following this blog goes "Where tf is Birds" and that I left out because it would ruin the point of the web as it actually is one of our traditional "you are around the system a lot? okay pick a bird" which serves to 1) be a fun system culture thing 2) be a means of welcoming a part in and 3) helps establish a foundational connection; we do the same with music but with music its a lot more elaborate and I probably wont explain it for other reasons.

But overtime, by fostering interests that were already present and encouraging parts to broaden and generalize their specific interest a bit, you end up with a lot of overlapping associations that can greatly improve internal communication, co-fronting ability, and just general fluidity and easy of moving around the brain web.

It becomes a good way of trying to figure out what you can do to encourage and help build connections and associations between parts by seeing where things are similar / could have more overlap (combat and martial arts, different types of fashion, different types of music, different appreciation for arts, taking over the world, yada yada yada)

And you wanna know the coolest thing? When you step back from the whole web you can see certain things appear that stand out the most and have some of the most connections.

If you ever intend to go to Final Fusion, those are the things that will likely be the most prominent traits of your whole self

For us? [REDACTED BIRDS for the point of the demonstration], Music, Fashion, Taking over the World, Recovery and Healing, Buddhism, Martial Arts, Arts in general - they're all some of our largest traits that persist in almost all forms as individual parts, partially fused parts, and fully fused parts.

And the BEST part? Doing this didn't require us to touch trauma at all.

Of course in recovery that will come up cause PTSD doesn't ask permission, but its a very low stress way to help improve internal communication and engagement with one another.

#actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #resources #advice #internal communication #integration #feather's unsubstantiated theraputic tools #unsubstantiated advice #alter: fei #final fusion #functional multiplicity #wishiwashi recovery #system mapping #system map #mind mapping #mindmap #recovery #healing #alter: ray #<- heavily authored by that part of this brain #system dynamics

[blu3-j]

Welcome...Home..?

Overworked! GN! Reader X Welcome Home Crew

Chapter 1

TW: none

The beginning of a grand new friendship, and a bunch of new adventures yet to come. It appears as though our main character has yet to see just what they're about to go through. Such a busy bee!

Chapter 1 l Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 l Chapter 4

You slowly trudged up the steps of your porch, completely exhausted. Work has been awfully busy lately, with customers constantly coming in and out and being...."fun", as your boss put it. Not only that, but the workload your college classes have been putting on you lately has been overbearing! You've barely had any time to yourself. You haven't had time to indulge in your favorite hobbies, talk to any of your friends, or even look much at social media. It was a constant race to get things done and keep that money you so desperately needed rolling in.

You slid the key in the keyhole and turned. The door clicked open and a dark, dusty house welcomed you. An exasperated sigh sounded from you. Unfortunately, with your busy schedule, you also haven't had much time to clean your house.

You had been passed down your house from your great grandparents, who had both passed away a few years back. It was completely paid off, and even had some forest property to go along with it! Unfortunately, it was also pretty far in the forest, so you had to get up a bit extra early to make it anywhere on time. It also took up quite a bit of gas to get anywhere from there. You would move in with somebody to make it easier on yourself, but you didn't have many friends that lived in town anymore. None of the ones that did wanted or needed a roommate. Additionally, being a skeptic and cautious person led to not trusting many people on the internet. There was always a chance they would screw you over or possibly even murder you. You never knew.

Thud!

You dropped your heavy bag on the floor and your stomach, quick to catch the cue, growled. There was barely a thing in the fridge for ready-made food, and all of your dishes were dirty and disgusting. Even the thought of taking the time to wash them all made you feel more exhausted than you already were. The pantry didn't have much, either, but there was one thing that you could make in a few minutes without any extra work needed. Instant noodle cups.

"I really do play into the broke, tired college kid stereotype, huh?" You grumbled as you grabbed a cup from the pantry. It only took a few minutes, but you decided upon waiting for it to finish cooking to turn to the living room. The tv was dusty and rarely used, but you figured with the little free time you had you would watch something. "Anything to get my mind off of those Susans and Karens I have to face at work." The remote sat lonely in its spot on the tv stand as you walked over and picked it up. The screen was full of static for a moment, then to a news broadcast station. Humming, you flicked through the various stations, eventually settling on the most colorful one of them all.

A children's cartoon had just ended, and the colorful characters were saying their final goodbyes to the viewers.

"Maybe something simple will let me veg out for a bit. I don't need anything complicated right now." A small ding from the kitchen caught your attention. "Sounds like the noodles are done." One last mumble came from you as you turned your back to the tv and walked away. "My brain is already fried enough as is." When you got back and plopped down on your couch, a new cartoon had popped up. You figured it was a cartoon, anyway, from the extremely colorful title card. "Welcome Home" it read. "Must be a new show."

The colorful title card faded away and the camera panned down to a live set. The colorful scene caught your attention in full, and you felt yourself almost entranced. A house in the middle of a small neighborhood with eyes stared the viewer down with a supposedly friendly gaze. It waved with a window shutter before opening the door to the viewer as the camera wandered in. Inside, sitting at a canvas and easel was a small yellow puppet. He was humming away the show's friendly tune, slowly squeezing paint onto his palette. Finally, he noticed the viewer.

"Oh, hello, neighbor!" He waved to the viewer. His voice was gentle and slightly monotone. Strange, as he seems to be the main character. "Don't they usually have the main character of children's shows as more extraverted and full of energy and emotion?" "I was just about to start painting a lovely new painting for my friend Barnaby." He hummed and grabbed a brush, but hesitated upon moving to dip it in the paints. His gaze went back to the viewer, and he laughed. It was just as monotone as his usual voice, but what was even more off-putting was it being almost robotic in nature. "Oh, no. Thinking about it, I actually don't know what to paint." The handle tip of the brush was put against his cheek as the small puppet thought. "Say, neighbor," He looked back at the viewer. The small puppet's gaze distracted you from your food.

"That's weird...why does it feel...?" "As though he's looking directly at me?"

"Do you have any ideas? I'm sure there's some great ones in that head of yours!" His grin widened. Is that even possible for a puppet? You decided to remain quiet and stare back at him, completely entranced by the dark pools of his eyes. One minute went by. Then two. It wasn't until a third went by when you realized he hadn't gone back to painting. He was still staring, quiet and patient. "Neighbor?" The monotone voice caught you off gaurd, and you jumped in your seat. The puppet laughed and his gaze fell away from you for a moment. Just one. "Oh, no! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" You felt your blood run cold as he spoke once again, his voice even more gentle and ominous than before. Are you just that tired? Are you dreaming? You must be! "I can see you, you know." There it was again. That same, monotone laugh. His voice went back to normal. "That's okay if you don't want to answer me! It must be so strange for you. That I can see you. That I'm talking to you. But you don't have to worry! I won't hurt you!" The yellow puppet's eyes went wide. "Oh! I have an idea, now! You gave me the perfect idea, neighbor! I'll paint you!"

A breath left your lungs as you watched him turn his attention back to his canvas and start painting. One you hadn't realized you'd been holding. He hummed the show's tune once more as he went to painting on his canvas. It would be comforting, if it wasn't for the fact he was indeed painting your unlit living room.

"It's nice to have a new neighbor." He mumbled out just loud enough for you to hear. "Not many come to visit anymore." He glanced back at you for a moment before he went back to painting. "Oh, silly me, I forgot to introduce myself! I was too excited...I'm Wally. Wally Darling." The puppet, as you now knew as Wally, went silent. Not even a theme song played in the background. Just the silence of his livingroom...and his occasional humming.

Time rolled by. After a while, it almost felt like normal. Like you two had known each other for a while and were just on some sort of quiet camera call. Your tense shoulders eventually relaxed, and although you were still too cautious to speak to the puppet, your eyelids slowly, ever so slowly, shut. Overworking yourself had gotten to you, and no longer could your body continue to stay awake. A small, gentle, monotone voice called to you. So small, you barely noticed. So gentle, it sealed the final nail in you falling into the deep depths of dreams.

"Goodnight, neighbor."

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home arg #welcome home crew #welcome home x reader #x reader #welcome home julie #welcome home sally #wally darling #welcome home frank #welcome home eddie #welcome home barnaby #welcome home fanfic #welcome home fandom #welcome home howdy #welcone home poppy #don't mind me #just adding in the tags #because I forgot them. #AGAIN. #and my interwebs decided to be slow the moment I hit post #anyway #enjoy!! #fanfiction #fanfic #welcome...home? fanfic

[taegularities]

colour me in: timeline | jjk

numerous main parts and several drabbles in, i realised how easy it is to lose track of time. considering how we’ve been jumping between the present and the past, it’s become necessary to illustrate what cmi’s timeline looks like, especially since we can’t store every bit of information ever mentioned in the chapters in our brains at once! so i decided to make this little post that outlines the cmi couple’s entire story chronologically. i will explain things that aren’t explicitly mentioned in the series in detail – the rest is only briefly listed.

in case you haven’t read the series yet and plan to do so – spoilers ahead!! hope the timeline makes sense! 💕 

⤑ SERIES MASTERLIST

⤑ last year, sometime in late spring. break up with nara:

mentioned in cmi4/lights and cmi8/blurred: ⋆ jungkook and nara separate. ⋆ there is a back and forth for a couple of days, but they settle on a mutual decision: it’s over. ⋆ jungkook, hurt by loneliness and tempted by freedom, sleeps with other girls. ⋆ nara and jungkook cannot keep it at this break up – more to this later.

⤑ last year, july. frat party:

cmi8/blurred: ⋆ jungkook and oc meet at fratboy choi yeonjun’s private party and talk. ⋆ they hook up and build a connection without any high expectations of crossing paths again. ⋆ jungkook is not hooking up with nara at this point. ⋆ oc rejected hoseok whom she had a fling with during freshman year and again a couple months ago. he’s a fleeting friend.

⤑ last year, fall/september. accounting/business class:

mentioned throughout the series: ⋆ jungkook and oc meet again; oc is a business major, and jungkook attends this class for extra credits. ⋆ not long after meeting again, they fall into constant bickering, competitive in class but secretly fond of each other. lowkey even friends. ⋆ oc tries to push him away bc she’s sure this won’t end well. ⋆ soon after the semester starts, they start hooking up again.

⤑ last year, beginning of october. nara cont.:

partly mentioned in cmi4/lights and explained here and here: ⋆ jungkook and nara have a history together that goes beyond what they were to each other. they grew up together and are used to that connection, even though the depth of the relationship and its importance has faded throughout the last few months. ⋆ they hook up again, multiple times, but eventually realise that neither of them will benefit from this. it’s unhealthy – they need to move on and remain friends. ⋆ they part in good terms; a huge weight is lifted off their shoulders. nara and jungkook are officially over. ⋆ moving on is easier than it was right after their sudden decision to separate as a couple.

⤑ last year, end of october. the fwb deal:

cmi7.5.2/unhindered: ⋆ jungkook and oc have sex and seal the fwb deal. ⋆ jungkook hasn’t slept with anyone but oc since the beginning of october, and with nobody except nara and oc since the frat party.

⤑ last year, end of december. new year’s eve:

cmi5.5/not enough: ⋆ jungkook and oc, still in a fwb thing, are invited to a big party at hoseok’s place. ⋆ oc doesn’t reveal that she knows hoseok and jungkook doesn’t know. hoseok might or might not be aware that oc’s been hanging out with jungkook (more to this after cmi9).

⤑ this year, february 14th. valentine’s day:

cmi6.5/undying roses: ⋆ fwb still ongoing! jungkook and oc aren’t attending any classes together anymore; they’re friends now. ⋆ jungkook gifts her a ‘beauty & the beast’ rose bc he remembers her talking about the movie during choi yeonjun’s party. ⋆ but the movie isn’t mentioned in cmi8/blurred, so guess oc truly cannot remember this bit anymore – it’s not in her diary either.

⤑ this year, june. the fake dating deal:

cmi1–cmi3/layers: ⋆ sealing the fake dating deal. ⋆ jungkook and nara are still somewhat friends. ⋆ more that unfolds: the paparazzi issues, jungkook’s first experience with newspaper headlines, clubbing with all their friends before oc finds out jungkook’s going away for a month.

⤑ this year, july. jungkook’s vacation and the journalist reveal:

cmi4/lights & cmi5/the canvas: ⋆ oc finds out about jungkook and nara’s history; jungkook goes on vacation after that. ⋆ jungkook comes back and needs to tell her something: a journalist, hired by her mother, has been following jungkook around for a while to find content for drama. this creates a huge rift between oc and her parents, and she temporarily stays at jungkook’s place.

⤑ this year, august. the confession and the break up:

cmi6/silhouettes–cmi7.5/letters from the heart: ⋆ oc spends her time at jungkook’s place. ⋆ they make a trip to a smalltown nearby and confess their feelings for each other in the rain, but the next day, everything collapses due to more terrible headlines and jungkook breaks up with her. ⋆ weeks later: they meet again at the hospital after yoongi’s accident. they accompany their friends to the movies where they impulsively kiss but unfortunately part again. ⋆ jungkook starts to realise that and why this was a mistake. he attends an exhibition hosted by namjoon where he displays two of his paintings. ⋆ it’s his birthday, and oc, despite receiving an invitation, doesn’t show up.

⤑ this year, september. the birthday and exhibition:

cmi8/blurred: ⋆ oc has started looking for apartments. ⋆ oc goes to the exhibition. ⋆ what next?

i will add more as we go! this is a late night post, so i might come back to edit it later; i hope this helps for now. please remember that this timeline isn’t supposed to be a summary; it merely provides some insight into what occurred when. only those who have read the fic will find this actually helpful – if you’re interested in the storyline, please do read the series 🤍  

#hope this helps a little! lmk if you have any questions!! #also pls praise this lil post it took longer than expected LMAO #n we have a banner hehehehe 🥰 #fic: colour me in #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook angst