Tumgik
#so many things a ll at once
scuddle-bubble101 · 8 months
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Tempted to draw... but not too sure what to draw... -flops in pud-
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lord-squiggletits · 1 month
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"Rodimus is a better Prime because it didn't hurt for him to bond with the Matrix while for Optimus it did" headcanon/theory my beloathed.
One day I'm literally gonna snap and make a whole post addressing why what's wrong bc I'm tired of the inaccuracy and tired of ppl not understanding the Point TM of IDW and its version of the Matrix/Primacy and even more tired of people putting down Optimus in favor of Rodimus by essentially arguing that being unworthy means you deserve to be punished/put in pain bc you just weren't good enough to hold the Symbol of Ultimate Authority
#it's wrong on so many levels both in terms of lore and as well as like what the general themes of idw1 are#it's just a validation contest using the matrix as some magical symbol to decide who's the most special#which is ironically something that was a plot point in exrid/OP. specifically how stupid of an idea that is ldskjflksd#ppl revealing that they havent read anything besides mtmte/ll as usual#like half the reason ppl think optimus is a bad prime and rodimus is a good prime is literally bc like#optimus was written by an author who was specifically trying to deconstruct him (sometimes to the point of absurdity)#and rodimus was written by an author who takes a more optimistic/idealistic approach. and is also better at writing#but also like am i seriously the only person who thinks that that argument is fucked up?????#like 'OP felt pain which means he's unworthy/not a real prime/not a true leader'#ok so you think that there's a hierarchy of moral goodness in which anyone who falls short of that Moral Ideal should suffer#as a sign of their unworthiness?? like does that not sound dystopian as hell to any of you?? why would you WANT the matrix to work like tha#even if the theory were true (which it isn't) why would you view the matrix as a good authoritative moral judge of character#if its idea of 'moral judgement' is to inflict pain on anyone who's supposedly not truly good/worthy#wasn't the entire point of the ending of LL (including rodimus being a good leader) that everyone is worth it?#like rodimus literally said 'you ARE damn well good enough' or something like that#so what? everyone else in the universe tries their best and that's enough but somehow when OP suffers it's like#a sign that he's not actually a good prime/leader?? we're really going with the punitive perspective purely for One Guy??#swear to god ppl are projecting their authority issues onto Optimus the way they shit on him for things they would excuse#if any other character did it#Optimus is uniquely deserving of pain/being marked as unworthy bc idk he was a cop once and that offends my delicate sensibilities#what's even funnier is how much harm was inflicted by rodimus as a captain sheerly due to his stupidity or ego but everyone forgives him#i guess bc as long as the matrix likes him that means he's valid no matter what he actually does as a person#WHICH IS SOMETHING IDW ITSELF ARGUED AGAINST BC A LOT OF THE PRIMES THAT WERE CHOSEN BY THE MATRIX#WERE DICKS AND THE FACT THEY COULD WIELD THE MATRIX DIDN'T MAKE THEM GOOD PEOPLE#like oh my god stop using the matrix as an arbiter of moral authority in idw1 it literally goes against the themes of the story#including the themes that are embodied in rodimus himself#idw op love
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spider-man-2o99 · 11 months
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when are you gonna see the new spiderverse?
it's not set in stone or anything, but we're aiming for sometime within the first week of its release if we can afford it!!
(on the note of spoilers: i Strongly Prefer to not be spoiled, but they won't like. Ruin My Life or really even my Day, i just would prefer to not be spoiled cause it's. like. a dick move, y'know? thanks. love yall)
#talking tag#asks#atsv#across the spider-verse#generally movies r a luxury we have to wait a couple months after release 2 see but i have been waiting for This One for Five Years so--#--it is a very VERY special treat :}#...even if they did For Some Reason decide that THE best color to flash wildly during like. Every Mig Scene is Give Cap Migraines Yellow.#foolish fool fools. if you wanted to reference the end of Issue Number One you need a PALER more DESATURATED yellow or a red/black gradient#in fact pushing the Paler Colors would work a lot better to contrast against him in a properly colored BLACK AND RED SUIT. LIKE THIS DESIGN#sheesh he lives in The Bleeding Neon Future but they pulled Future Inspiration from one of those boring sleek white smooth round shape guys#Nueva York in the comics wasnt meant to be a Cool Future it was meant to be half-criticism of Modern NYC by ppl who Lived There--#--and the other half was Speculation abt what it Could Be if Nothing About The World In (e616s) 1992 Changed For 107 Years#(...dot dot dot. comma. As Written By Overwhelmingly A Bunch Of Middle Class Cishet White Comic Book Guys[TM]. LMAO)#(the good stuff is GOOD the fun stuff is really REALLY fun and the Bullshit in comic book fashion offers up new writers to KILL On Sight <3#look man im just. im rambling at this point but like i love marvel 2099 i think there are absolutely Some books that ARE worth reading--#--from the imprint and dismissing All Of It just for being 90s Comic Books is unfair to the many teams of people who worked on them yknow#i Do Not Like Pat Mills (MANY reasons.) but the initial art team behind Punisher 2099 (especially the penciler) put SO much passion into it#people only really remember Spider-Man 2099 today but e928 has a really rich developed lore that i get the sinking feeling we;ll probably--#--never actually See Again in any of the same capacity that it once existed at. but. yknow. time passes & things change & that's.. fine.
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llycaons · 2 years
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ALSO being here is giving such a stark reminder of how different my aunt is from my mom bc my aunt was teaching her (admittedly very young) daughter to change lightbulbs like ‘just like that, one step up, nice job, I’ve got you” (very reassuring) and I was forcibly transported back to when I was learning how to drive (very scared) and my mom would say with undisguised disgust and contempt things “can you PLEASE keep the car on the road” like lady. did you think I wasn’t trying
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chaosandmarigolds · 25 days
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yeah yeah Simon Riley with an equally badass partner sounds great but-
pre-k teacher?
Simon swore he had never seen something so...perfect in his life, and he had seen something pretty amazing things for all of the horrible things
Simon who is pretty certain he isn't good for you, after all he towers over you and whenever he does come by to help Price with a bake sale the kids stare up at him as if he's quite literally...a ghost
Simon and all of his scariness that melted away when you smiled up at him, a sweet thank you on your lips as you took the box to help clean out your classroom for the summer
Simon who told price he would find a way home on his own so he could stay to help you get all of the decoration down from the walls and get everything packed away
Simon who would snatch something he deemed too heavy with a hoarse, 'I gotchit, luv' not even realizing the pet name slipped out because it felt so...natural
Simon even though he tried to make your son sit on the small patch of carpet and keep him entertained with his book- he ended up becoming a playgym and babysitter while you did most of the heavy lifting
Simon who found your son to actually be pretty neat, unlike a lot of other children, telling the kid very censored versions of his time in the war as the little guy sat atop of his shoulders
Simon tried to very politely decline the dinner invitation (plus ride home) once the room was all packed up but gave in when you aptly took his hand and began to drag him to your car
Simon sat in the passenger seat as you apologized for the toy car that lay in the seat as you buckled your son into his car seat, smiling at the small photo that sat snug on the car screen
Simon encouraged the boys to sing along to the obscure children's song while you scolded him for it in the form of a light pat on the leg as you drove to the nearest child friendly restaurant (chick-fil-a or something along those lines)
Simon who paid for the dinner against your many denials and used it as the perfect excuse to hold your hand as he tapped the card against the reader
Simon who watched in wonder as you helped your son get his little boots untied so he could go play in the play area, your delicate hands and smile upon your perfect face...
Simon listened intently to everything you rambled about, from the happiness of teaching and why you chose it to your son and how he was the greatest blessing in disguise you had been given- funny, because he thought that about you
Simon when he heard that you would have to find a nanny for your son for over the summer since you'll need a second job wouldn't let that be for even a millionth of a second
''ll watch 'em, luv."
"Simon, that's so kind bu-"
"No buts, like the lil' guy, no problem."
Simon who does like the little boy you call your son, but who was mainly using the free babysitting as a reason to see you
Like it?? Part two is right Here!
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nyxire · 1 year
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ever just thinkg about him. (darkstalker)
#i was obsessed with wof when i was a little younger#i have very complext thoughts on it. but honestly it's all muddled by the the fact that the last time i read those books was forever ago#like. from what i can remember the entire situation was just like. fucked#I like clearsight but honestly i feel like she just. how to say this...#like iirc she was just rlly in darkstalkers face about how he was going to turn evil someday. Which I mean like to certain level it's fair#but also like. if someone was actively telling me that i'm going to turn evil and kinda just spends the entire time worrying about how i wi#ll turn evil and trying to stop that.#it's just. ahhhhh. bc obviously near the end darkstalker (and even parts of the middle iirc) was pretty much just a deranged psycho. so lik#clearsights justified but she just kinda went around shit the wrong way which honestly whatever. keep ur head high queen. ur like 16 plz ge#t therapy.#like it's just such a bad situation and the worse part is that it just seems like no matter which way they turn it's just doomed#which frustrates me bc. like a couple times (once again. iirc) he was geniunely just trying to be a good guy#but like. he was just framed as this irredeemable bastard thru clearsights visions the entire itme.#and to a certain extent darkstalker was correct about how she wasn't rlly willing to see him. just all the version of him that could be.#(<- i think he said something like htat. again. i haven't read that book in forever#Which i think could say something to like. i guess the level of fucking stress clearsight was in that she kept seeing Bad Shit Happening.#which like. if ur anxious about shit ur r more likely to see the bad in things i believe. and again. under a tremendous amount of stress.#and don't get me wrong. clearsight was a victim! she deserved better#Idk. i just kinda refuse to believe that in all versions darkstalker is a bad person. that absolutely nothing can be done to help him#sorry he was my blorbo. i had so many thoughts about him.#fanthom & darkstalker friendship my beloved.#fanthom darkstalker & clearsight relationship my beloved#fanthom was also my blorbo. honestly if he had just smacked the shit out of darkstalked and screamed at him for 2 hrs i think that#would've done the trick#i hate the fact that darkstalker had the capacity to be such a caring and goofy charcter but was fucked by destiny or whatever#his charecterization is just.... well lets just say calling it a forest fire fueled by 40 tons of gasoline would be more then a little nice#maybe thats kinda harsh. like as i've stated a million times it's been forever since i've read the books & my opinons are mostly from my#biased younger muddled memories and a couple posts i've seen.#i will say thouhg an interesting (if common in characters such as his) trait of his is that he seems to geniunely want to everyone to be ha#-happy. just has horrible shitty ways of going around it + a huge superiority & god complex
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kentoberry · 2 years
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SING IT TO ME — toji fushiguro.
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pairings ⭒ dilf ! toji x babysitter ! reader.
about ⭒ toji didn't pick his son's babysitter purely on her résumé.
content ⭒ [ 18+ ; minors do not interact ] ⭒ f reader ⭒ age gap (toji in his 40s, reader in their 20s) ⭒ sp@nking ⭒ dd/lg themes ⭒ f!ngering ⭒ daddy k-nk ⭒ many pet names.
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"ya like that, princess?" toji growled. "not so bad for an old man, eh?"
he spat on your cunt once again, smirking as his fingers resumed stretching out your pretty hole. your back was arching off of the mattress as your body had endured countless orgasms on toji's hand, throat feeling dry from the amount that you'd begged for him to give in and stuff his cock inside of you. 
"daddy. . ." you drawled, crawling closer to exhaustion and coming down from yet another high. 
"you okay there, doll? need ta stop?"
you immediately shook your head, toji chuckling at how desperate you were for him. slowly, he slid his fingers out of you, placing a tender kiss to your clit as he praised you for being a good girl for him. you couldn't help the wanton mewl that slid past your puffy lips, mentally cursing your oversensitive cunt.
"t-touch me," you mumbled lazily.
"what's that, sweetheart? i 'av been touchin' ya, silly thing," toji wasn't above teasing you despite your vulnerable state, knowing that you were aware that it was all in good fun.
"no, no," your babbles continued, "need you… need your cock in me," you trailed off.
toji tutted. "where are yer manners, princess? i thought ya were being good f'me; do i need to punish yer bratty ass?" 
"no!" you yelped, even though his punishments were always quite enjoyable. "'m so- i'm sorry, daddy! p- please, wan' you s'bad…" 
you were cute, toji would give you that. a sweet young thing, half his age, grovelling to him and begging for his fat cock. he definitely had chosen the perfect babysitter to take care of his little megumi. yeah, the kid liked you and you practically treated him as your own, but what the man truly adored was the way your ass looked in those skinny jeans, the way your tits looked in that swimsuit when you had accompanied both fushiguros to the beach. it was certainly unprofessional of him to hire you for such superficial reasons, but every time that you were pinned down under him, crying for him, he didn't have the slightest regret. and considering your sugary sweet tone as you called him "daddy", he didn't think you regretted anything either. 
toji perched on the edge of his bed, patting his lap for you to come and lay across it. you always did your best to be the best doll he could ever dream of, but there were occasions where the innocent guise slipped and you accidentally disobeyed one of his rules. toji was never one for brats, and you were certain that if you gave him a reason to, he could break you.
"don't make it any worse f'r yourself, princess," he threatened, although his words retained a slight saccharine flavour. 
you did precisely as he said, crawling across to his lap like a lost little puppy. although it was almost demeaning the way that you so willingly laid across his meaty thighs, you couldn't deny the sparks that it sent to your cunt. 
"count." he commanded, tone sharp. you yelped as he brought his hand down on your bare ass, unable to halt your squirming as the pain overwhelmed you for a brief moment. 
"what did i fuckin' say?" toji spat, ignoring the tears brimming on your waterline. "c'mon, say sorry 'nd i'll keep it nice."
you mustered up every last bit of composure that you could, and rambled out: "'m s-sorry, daddy… 'll be good… i promise!"
toji took pity on how pathetic you looked, yet was also somewhat enthralled that you allowed yourself to let your guard down with him. consequently, he mumbled a soft "good girl" and massaged your sore skin before spanking you with equally as much force once again. 
"t-two!" you whimpered, trying to ensure that your quivering voice was loud enough that toji would hear it. this back and forth continued until you'd counted to eleven before uttering your safe word. at that point, tears were cascading down your puffy cheeks and your pussy was dripping. 
"shhh," toji cooed, using his extraordinary strength to lift you up to straddle his lap. you instinctively curled into his chest and let him spout all the praises under the sun in an attempt to calm you down a little. "princess, yer so wet," he stated. "how's about ya take my cock as a reward, yeah? daddy's gonna fuck his precious girl and make ya feel better? make ya cream all over m'cock?"
you nodded.
"big girl words, love,"
"please… daddy, i need you s'bad… please, please, please," you chanted, donning your best puppy dog eyes to meet his piercing emerald ones. 
"good girl, daddy's gonna treat you so well,"
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krashlite · 2 months
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I think that c!Jimmy liked being a Bad Boy and a Big Dog because for once in this series a role let him be reckless without being mocked/put down by his allies and without truly harming anyone through the risks he took. In this essay I will explore his character through this lens
Jimmy is an extremely optimistic character, almost always seen smiling and laughing about whatever’s going on. Not in the sense that he laughs when he’s nervous, but in the sense that he makes light of whatever scenario he’s in. On a deeper level, this also translates into overconfidence in a glass-half-full type of way. If there’s a chance a plan could go south, he only focuses on the potential benefit. If there’s a chance he loses a fight, he only focuses on winning
This isn’t to say he’s unaware of negative outcomes, he just chooses to ignore them. The result is him making poor decisions over, and over, and over again. Jimmy knows exactly why he did that but from an outside perspective he’s regarded as stupid
This is seen as early as 3rd life, with Scott practically putting him on a leash to stop him from fighting Ren and his army. Specifically when they manage to chase Dogwarts away from Joel’s base, Jimmy goes to give chase and Scott immediately stops him. They’ve won, and he doesn’t understand why Jimmy would push it further. Jimmy, on the other hand, is thinking about how they’ve been chased across the map like rabbits and knows DW will be back unless they establish themselves as a threat. Now’s the perfect time, since they have the upper hand
But again, Scott doesn’t see this. In his mind, the battle is won and they shouldn’t expend more time, energy, or resources on it. Ultimately he doesn’t want to see Jimmy hurt and believes that restricting what Jimmy does will protect him from harm
I think this shows a fundamental difference in how they interact with the world. Scott’s more practical- he only does what he feels is necessary and is humble enough to know when the risk isn’t worth the reward. Jimmy, on the other hand, wants to test the limits and see what he’s able to accomplish through, once again, taking unnecessary risks.
But this is where things get messy
Again, there is a fundamental difference in their thought processes. This causes them to clash, and since Scott is the one who held more “power” in the relationship (being the one to decide many aspects of their base and being the one to make most deals and plans for the both of them), resulted in Scott putting Jimmy down A Lot. This started with Jimmy returning from the desert without several of the armor pieces he left with and continued throughout the war.
Jimmy, in response to this treatment, started acting More reckless as a means to prove himself. He wanted to be seen as just as strong, smart, and capable as the people around him. Ultimately, he wanted to be respected in his own right, and that didn’t really happen this season!
Nor did it happen in LL,
LL was an entire mess for so many reasons and most of it was due to the game mechanic itself. Lives being treated as currency caused rifts in many alliances, especially the Southlands
This coupled with the fact that Jimmy is already back in 3L habits, trying to prove himself constantly, makes an incredibly messy situation. His efforts in monopolizing sugar cane are downplayed and mocked, he spends so much time getting spyglasses just for Mumbo to lose them. These are meant to be harmless jokes (and really, they are) but Jimmy’s coming off of an unbalanced power dynamic and a tiny bit of it eats away at him and he can’t figure out Why.
Jimmy doesn’t understand why he doesn’t feel valued in the team, so he starts looking at arbitrary reasons Why. The reason he settles on is the life count, with Grian’s death making it known that Yellow-Names are on the brink of being exiled.
This comes back to the game mechanic. Jimmy sees Martyn with four lives, with the ability to either a) bring Grian back to Yellow or b) offer a Yellow-Name in the alliance a life to keep them safe, and Martyn Doesn’t. This tells Jimmy that Martyn either doesn’t trust him or doesn’t value him enough to even attempt to protect him
I think this was even voiced a couple of times during LL, with Martyn closely guarding his lives and finding every reason he could to justify it (he was fully in the right for keeping them, even if doing so hurt others). Jimmy backed off, but there was just a small amount of bitterness that lingered
With Martyn, I think Jimmy picked up on the fact that Martyn was more concerned with protecting his Alliance than the people in it. He needed a group around him, but wasn’t terribly concerned with them otherwise
And that’s what fueled his decision to steal the life. If Martyn doesn’t respect him, if he doesn’t trust him, if he doesn’t care enough to protect him, why should Jimmy do the same. Why should he be a human shield for someone who barely looks his way. Impulse and Mumbo could stay if they wanted, but he wasn’t going to
Which makes it hurt so much more when Martyn asks to run away with him, when Martyn says he cares about Jimmy more than anyone else in the alliance. I want to remind you, Jimmy’s an optimist. He looks at the half-full cup. He doesn’t consider Martyn could be lying because he wanted so badly to just be Seen. So Jimmy gives it back
As it turns out, Martyn was lying. He calls him an idiot, and Jimmy is exiled immediately
All the resolve that Jimmy had in stealing the life crumbles then and there. He starts hanging around the Southlands alliance like a lost puppy, basically begging them to take him back. Martyn’s little ruse inadvertently showed Jimmy that, really, all he wanted is to be valued and supported. The life counts stops being an issue because he’s able to recognize the real issue- he feels undervalued and he feels stupid
That’s a factor even after the Southlands reunites, after he’s almost unanimously voted back in but Grian’s insistent on a recount. I think it’s the main reason why he’s so risky when he goes down to red- with him falling for a trap that he easily could have avoided
Again, it’s the same as 3L. He feels disrespected and undervalued so he takes unnecessary risks in order to prove to himself and to others that he’s just as strong, just as smart, and just as capable as they are.
This is later coupled with Mumbo’s extreme bloodlust when he turns Red. On Red, Mumbo was needlessly violent and is basically the only Red to swing at anything that moved. And I do mean Needlessly violent, he got himself and others into several dicey scenarios because he was impulsive and wanted to Stab. He gave the server a reason to be cautious of Mumbo and any other Red-Name. If Mumbo was a loose cannon, how would others be?
Except Mumbo was only aggressive towards Non-Reds (obviously) and was otherwise supportive of those on his side
I think this actually greatly influenced Skizz’s decision to leave BEST behind, with him seeing Mumbo as someone worth defending/standing by. Not only was he a visibly strong ally with a reputation, he genuinely cared for and supported those who were at his side. In Skizz’s case, he offered a source of stability where BEST couldn’t, and I think the same is true for Jimmy.
Jimmy sees this, and sees Mumbo as someone who can both show him how to be dangerous and respect his abilities in this game. Mumbo was respected as a threat and genuinely cared for those in his company. So he’s the perfect ally, right?
Actually, no, and this isn’t where the Skizz comparison ends either. Remember, Mumbo created the reputation that Reds are a worthy threat and that they’re violent without cause (“oh but what about Joel?” Joel was a joke at best and an annoyance at worst. He I think he definitely did influence Mumbo’s actions but that’s another essay entirely). Mumbo influenced Skizz’s aggression this season, with him becoming more bold in who he threatened or even attacked
So how does this compare to Jimmy? Both of them were coming off of alliances where they were unsupported, so they leaned more into Mumbo’s habits- good and bad. Except they didn’t really see it. Good traits were associated with Mumbo, their friend, and bad traits were associated with their shared condition, their Red-Life.
The plan to trap the bunker played on both, but was coupled with Jimmy’s bad habit of shooting for the best possible outcome. Mumbo had previously turned tail and ran whenever a plan went south, but that’s not how Jimmy is. Jimmy only focuses on the possible gain and ignores possible dangers. When the trap didn’t set off, he insisted on pushing Grian into it. And that actually goes back to him trying to chase Ren’s army- he didn’t know when to call it quits
And of course this causes both of their deaths. To Jimmy, his death caused Mumbo’s. He caused the death of the one ally who actually stood by him. I think this is when he fully internalizes criticism from 3L and LL as a whole. He feels weak, he feels stupid, he doesn’t feel nearly as capable as those around him.
And this carries into DL
Except DL was a much different season than the previous two. The soulmate mechanic in DL meant that you and your ally have to rely on each other, you have to support each other because failing to do so will surely spell your doom
Not only that, but Jimmy was finally paired with a supportive ally from the start. They made their base together because they trusted the other to build more than they trusted themself. When Jimmy came back with cows, Tango’s immediate response was to exclaim “you’re amazing!!!” Instead of criticizing him like previous alliances had- even back in 3L!! This is the first time Jimmy got a fully positive response to his efforts. Tango was overwhelmingly supportive towards Jimmy and Jimmy returned the favor. The base didn’t look perfect, but it was theirs. The server didn’t want them to have a horn so they devised a plan to get one.
Tango had also been following a similar arc up until now- with him being undervalued by his alliances. Except in those alliances, he was pushed to the side or physically harmed instead of being an object of ridicule. I think this is part of why it isn’t really out of place for them to meet through dying. Tango was expecting to be harmed and so was Jimmy, so neither of them blame the other
With Tango being pushed to the side, he also shied away from leadership positions, finding it more comfortable to follow. This paired well with how Jimmy typically takes charge of things, with Jimmy making most plans for the both of them (most, not all)
But again, this is where things get messy
Remember, Jimmy uses risks to prove his worth. He wants to see what he can do, but is also still recovering from previous seasons. He still thinks he’s the reason why him and Mumbo died, and doesn’t want to cause the death another ally, especially one who loves him. Instead of staying careful, he devises a plan to steal livestock, to steal Scar’s horse. It’s for the ranch, it’s for Tango
I think Jimmy realizes the problem when the Ranch is burned. He’s forced to confront this when he sees Tango fly into a rage and almost try to fight a group of people he’d surely lose to. Jimmy cannot be reckless here, he has to talk Tango down from the proverbial ledge.
With this, the roles end up reversing, with Tango being the reckless one and Jimmy trying to steer him to be more tactical. And Jimmy is So careful about this too, not wanting to act like Scott or the Southlands. Because of that he never actually tells Tango no on his dangerous plans- ESPECIALLY the plan to release Rancher’s Revenge, the warden- but instead suggests ways to make the plan better
The dilemma here is that Jimmy needs to choose between being risky and being safe. Both would benefit Tango, except Jimmy knows from experience how much it hurts to be bound in bubble-wrap all the time
Jimmy sees no way to avoid risks without hurting Tango. So instead of fighting against that part of himself, Jimmy leans into it. He accepts it as a key tenet of his identity, even as it puts the both of them in harms way. Yes they went down in the end, but they went down together, Always Together.
It didn’t matter if Jimmy was a “worthy” ally, he didn’t need to be Smart, he didn’t need to be Strong, he didn’t even need to be Capable. He learned that he deserved love not in spite of his flaws, but alongside his flaws.
And this is the lesson he carries into the next two Seasons, with both alliances being fully centered on being reckless
The Bad Boys acted dangerously, but they acted as a unit- ESPECIALLY him and Joel. Bad Boys dig straight down, Bad Boys water bucket clutch from the build limit, Bad Boys care about each other not in spite of endangering themselves, but because of it
And this is because Joel had a nearly identical arc. Joel in previous seasons had a habit of acting recklessly in the same way Jimmy did, and was cast aside because of it. In 3L he ended up a Lone Wolf, in LL he was forced into a position where he’s the villain, and in DL he and Etho leaned into the danger in the same way Jimmy and Tango did. Their stories run parallel so it only makes sense that they’re the ones who end up supporting each other in LimL
And Joel was Jimmy’s main source of support that season, with Grian representing the criticism of previous seasons. This gave Jimmy the ability to confront said criticisms through, again, leaning into them. He did something stupid? Yes, but him and Joel were having fun. A plan went south because of unnecessary risks? Yes, but Joel was being risky with him. Joel gave Jimmy the ability to basically cut through the aforementioned “bubble wrap” Grian was trying to put around them
And I think it’s also important to mention Grian did this out of both love and cowardice, not malice. Ultimately he didn’t want to lose either of them and was trying to keep them alive longer. But because Grian never learned the lesson they did- that it’s more important to act together than to survive alone- Grian chooses survival and ends up alone.
Anyways, recklessness being the foundation of Jimmy’s alliances carries into SL as well
Jimmy was on the brink of death for almost the entire season, man was not thriving whatsoever and that was known. Funnily enough, he ends up with Martyn, who again was previously more concerned with his own safety than the people around him
But Martyn is just coming off of a victory, of finally achieving the very thing he’d been working towards and the thing he centered his motivations on. Without that goal, he’s left with his methods- which was mostly having dangerous ideas and seeing them through
With Jimmy, Martyn introduced plans that involved them being risky and in everyone else’s faces. This, to Jimmy, echoed both Joel and Tango’s behavior. He was able to fully settle into the fact that, for him, good things come from being reckless, from shooting for the best possible outcome and refusing to back down
Jimmy maintains his optimism and his recklessness, traits that had previously been challenged but traits he stubbornly holds onto and values in his Life
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screaminglygay · 7 months
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KINKTOBER day 4
pairing: witch!wanda x fem!reader
summary: trick or treat? definitely a treat!
warnings: smut!!!, dark!wanda, dubcon!!, anal, overstimulation, edging, grooping, kinda voyeurism, inserting tentacles, over all dark themes! if you find anything else - I’ll add it!
words count: 3.6k
an: to be honest im not really sure what i did here, umm this fic was written with the biggest block ever, so I do apologize, also it wasn’t proofread, so yeah
(italics = your thoughts)
!MDNI!
Enjoy this spooky time and be safe!
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"I´m coming! Just a minute," was heard on the other side of the door as soon as you knocked. Every second bring your body more anxiety, so you try to shake it off by fidgeting with your ring.
After few minutes the door finally opens - and a pretty tall lady, with red hair and aboslutely georgous black dress smiles at you. Your eyes scan her whole look under a second and you look back into her eyes. Her emerald green eyes, framed by long, dark lashes, glisten with a captivating emotion. Her gaze is drawing you in with a mysterious charm. These stunning green eyes seem to reflect the beauty, but also the mystery that comes with the readhead infront of you.
"Trick or treat!" you say as you smile back at her.
"Oh sweetheart," now it´s her turn to look you up and down. Her smile is raplaced by a confusion. "um... and what are you supposed to be?" The redhead tilts her head.
"I- uh a witch." You try to answer with confidence, as you bring your wand up to show her your full fit.
You wouldn´t win an award for the best costume this Halloween, but you tried and everything is homemade, so you should definitely get some bonus points for that. Full black outfit with some spider webs around your torso sounded like a good idea, but maybe it was really hard to tell who are you trying to be.
"Oh- i see now." She nods, but you can see the disappointment in her face. She throws some candy into your bag, but you notice right away that it was only a licorice sweets, which is the worst thing she could give you. "Where is the rest of your group?" She asks as she looks behind you as if she´s waiting for someone else to come.
"Uh... it´s just me. No one wanted to go with me, since they think my outfit sucks." You sigh as you look down, deep down feeling like they might be right.
"Oh no, sweetheart. None of that." She steps closer and her soft fingers touches your chin, lifting it for you to make eye contact with her. "How about I´ll help you with your outfit and at the end of the night you´ll have every candy you ever dreamed off?" Her fingers gently caressing your chin.
"Really?" Your eyes spark with excitement. So much excitement.
"Come on in." The redhead let go of your chin and steps away from the door so you can come inside.
"Thank youuu-" Your eyes met hers again.
"Please call me Wanda." She smiles.
"Thank you, Wanda." You smile back.
As you come inside you can notice that her house is magnificent, everywhere you look you can see architectural details and many ornate decorations, especially on the stairs. It feels kinda like a labyrinth of richly hued tapestries, ornamental vases, and mirrors that capture the light just perfectly. Every corner of the house is a organized, with towering bookshelves that look like a billion dollars worth collection of books, with lots of knowlage in them. The overall ambiance is like a old charm, a sensations of history and elegance. To be honest you wouldn´t be shocked if an 150 old lady lived here, not a beautiful young lady like Wanda.
"Ohh so you like witches too?" You look through her library, reading some of her book titles.
Spells - and everything that comes with them, Spreading your power, Flying around the world: positions, Potions - third edition (extremly addicting)...
Wanda hums as she watches you being interest in her books. "I wrote most of them myself." She says, her voice was still sweet, but you could hear the little harsh tone she added to it, raspy growl with an accent, once subtle and charming, and now pronounced and intense. But you couldn´t put the accent anywhere, maybe somewhere in Europe? East? West? You really didn´t know where to point.
"So you´re an author?" You turn to her.
"You could say that, yeah." Wanda nods.
"That is so cool," you mumbled as something weird and pitch black caught your eye. It was a really dark book, more like a journal that definetly had some history, "what´s that?" you took it from the shelf.
"That is a something like my personal journal." The readhead steps closer to you.
"Oh sorry, I didn´t meant to invade your privacy!" Her hand fall on yours as you wanted to put the book back, where you took it.
"It´s okay, I don´t have any secrets. You can read it." Wanda smiles again.
As you open the book you notice that even her handwriting is so neat and beautiful. It suits her somehow, but as you continue to flip the pages her writing went from tall and pretty to harsh and short. Reading few sentences seem like a good idea, since you had Wanda´s approval. Your face went from smile to confussion real quick. But then it hit you. The woman infront of you you, known as Wanda, is a witch. Despite this revelation, you find yourself not scared but rather intrigued by the truth.
This whole time Wanda was looking at you, waiting for you to speak first.
"So... you´re also a witch?" You try to ease the situations by a joke.
"Also?" She chuckles. "Darling, this poor outfit looks on you more like a trash bag then a costume." Her words hurts. More than you want to admit.
Is my outfit really that shitty?
"Do you want an honest answer, sweetheart?" She steps closer.
Oh so she can read minds now, great.
"I can do more than just read minds." Her accent is very strong by now.
"I- can you not read my mind?" You look at her, noticing she got really close to you.
"Your thoughts are really loud, sweetheart. It´s kinda hard to resist." She almost whispers.
Are they? I can´t think- how do i stop thinking? Oh she´s really close. I don´t mind that. Fuck. (Y/N), not now. I would take her. On a walk, definetly on a walk. No in other way.
Wanda just laughs at your poor tries at calming down your thoughts. "Im glad you´re not afraid of me. That will ease things."
What things? Am I afraid? No. Maybe a little. Who knows? She does.
"Well helping with your new outfit, silly. Which will also help you make more sweets throughout the night."
"Oh! Right!" You nod, immediately following her to her living room, you guess.
You both enter the living room, a space illuminated by the warm, flickering light of few lit candles. Your eyes caught a few wine glasses, each bearing the mark of different shades of lipstick on the enormous wooden table. However, your attention remains fixed on Wanda, who is eager to assist you in making your new Halloween costume.
"Sit over there and I´ll bring some stuff." Wanda smiles and with that she leaves the living room.
You get bored very easily so not even after two minutes you´re on your feet again, glancing around the room. Your eyes are drawn to a paintings adorning the walls. Each canvas is a totally different theme. A dark landscape with rolling hills and a small lake makes you to step into its peaceful scene. Beside it, a bold, abstract burst with vibrant colors, evoking a sense of energy and excitement, which is something you definitely wouldn´t put in a place like this. The figurative portrait of a dark figure seems to watch over the place, which freaks you out a little, since you feel like it´s watching every single one of your steps, even though you can´t really see its face. As you watch these paintings, you don´t even hear Wanda come back.
"I thought I told you to sit over there." Her tone was once again very harsh, which made you feel like a kid that didn´t listen to their mother.
"Sorry, I was just admiring art." You shrug as you sit back, where you were in the first place.
Wanda didn´t say anything, she just started to take things from her bag and list through a book. "Here it is! This will definitely earn you bags full of sweets." She looks at you. "If you´re still in?"
"Yes, of course!" You nod and before you even fully stand up Wanda push you back down with her magic. "Oh wow, that was... so cool." You smile as you notice the red mist flying around.
Wanda smiles at your fascination and comes closer to you. "I need you to close your eyes and trust me, can you do that?" She tilts her head.
"Yes, Wanda. I can do that, if I´ll have a lots of sweets by the end of the night, I will do it!" Your eyes are sparking with bigger excitement than before as you imagine all the chocolate you will eat.
"Okay." She helps you lay down on the couch, which feels really soft on your skin and it makes you close your eyes instantly. "Good, just no matter what, I need you to have your eyes closed, I want it to be surprise." Wanda´s whispers trailing right down your spine.
"I love surprises, I will keep my eyes closed, I promie. Pinky promise!" With your closed eyes you held out a pinky. Almost punching her in the face, but she quickly dodge it. Wanda just smiles at your antics and extends her pinky to make a promise with you.
It took you one more shift on the couch to feel fully comfortable. "I´m ready." You mumble to let Wanda know, even though she can read your mind. Right after the magic start to float around once again.
You feel a lot of silly sensations right away, it feels like a tickling, which in fact makes you giggle out loud. "Tickles!" You say between the laughs.
"I know, it will be just a minute, darling." She smirks, knowing that the tickling feeling is just her magic taking your clothes fully off. At the same time Wanda reagulates your body tempeture with her spells, so you don´t feel even the slightest changes.
The ticklings stops and you fully relax on the couch again, taking a deep breath in and out. Nothing is happening for a few minutes, so it´s very tempting to open your eyes and look what´s going on.
Did she left? Um... should I-
"Absolutly not! If you can´t keep your eyes closed I´ll help you with that too, since I believe you can´t do anything on your own." Wanda scoffs and slides a blindfold over your head. Even if you tried opening your eyes now, you would see pitch black.
The spells and magic start to float around again, red mist tangling around your body. Wanda just sits in her fluffy chair on the other side of the living room. Glass with red wine in her hand as she watches you with hunger in her eyes.
As you open your mouth to talk, you let out a moan. You suddenly feel a warm rush of embarrassment wash over you, your cheeks turning a shade of crimson. It's as if a spotlight has been directed on your momentary lapse, and you can sense the weight of her eyes on you. You fumble for words and wish for a way to disappear into the floor, but the awkwardness lingers.
You feel something touching your body, something that is soft, yet very hard. A delightful sensation begins to spread across your entire body, as if invisible hands are gently caressing your skin. It's like a soothing, expertly executed massage, relaxation and comfort. This wave of bliss sweeps through you, releasing tension and stress with every touch, and you surrender to the embrace of calm that envelops you.
What the hell is that?
"What is what, darling?" Wanda asks, you can hear her voice on the other side of the room, so she can´t be the one touching you. "Oh that? It is just measuring spell, for your outfit to fit perfectly, sweetheart."
"O-okay." You kinda whine out. "I thought that-"
"Oh don´t be silly!" She laughs. "Just stay still." She adds with her raspiness again.
You´re staying still as much as you can. The sensations coursing through your body are unraveling the knots of tension that once held you captive. Muscle melting into a state of pure relaxation. Each touch seems to release a sigh of relief from deep within, and you sink further into a state of blissful repose. "I need you to be relaxed, otherwise it´s not going to fit, darling." Wanda adds.
Fit? Fit what?
"All the accessories." Once again she answer your inner question.
Wanda felt like you were ready and like you can and will take whatever she give you as a addiction to your costume.
You can feel something spreading your legs a bit and moving you little of the couch. The warm feeling never leaving your body, it´s the other way around actually, it´s just increasing. It’s weird how come you can feel a touch all around your body, when Wanda is on the other side of the room. You can hear her cutting out some cloth and time to time her soft humming.
"Oh my god-" you yelp as you can feel something wet between your legs.
How come I´m this wet? Did I pee myself? Oh my god! What is going on?
"Everything okay, darling?" Wanda asks as she´s looking at your hips, slowly going up and down. Your pussy is leaking and she didn´t even touch you.
"Yes! All good!" You´re hoping you´re just feeling things, but Wanda would already say something if things wouldn´t be okay. So it is just silly feelings. Oh you know what it is, it´s the little axienty from being blindfolded, now it make sense. You’re just anxious.
Wanda listen to your thoughs as she´s having the time of her life. It´s time for the actual fun to begin. She extends her hands, conjuring four crimson, ethereal tentacles of pure energy. These serpentine tentacles undulate, glowing with the passionate and dangerous red hue, slowly extending toward their target, you. It's a captivating display of Wanda's magical skills, a vivid manifestation of her power.
As each of them lay on you, you can feel a little wetness, that sticks to you right away. It feels... good. Really good. Whatever measuring device this is, you want to feel it in you-
'Your wish is my command' is Wanda´s first thought. One of the tentacles are slowly teasing you on your inner thighs. Moving slowly up and down your leg. "I need to measure your thighs, darling. Just to make sure your costume is the perfect size. Just give me a moment." She say from the other corner of the room, sipping on her wine.
How come I can feel her, when she´s over there?
Your thoughts are quickly swap away as you feel something really hard enter your already drenched pussy. And before you can think things through, you felt absolutely nothing in your head, just pleasure. The world seems to align perfectly with Wanda´s and yours desires, creating a warm and euphoric feeling, gentle you could say. Or moan at the current state your in.
You feel like your in a dream. A very good one may Wanda add.
The enormous thing is going in and out of you like it was nothing. Wanda´s eyes are on you as she watches in awe how you didn´t resist at all. How naive you´ve been the whole time. How come little thing like you survived for such a long time in this cruel and scary world by yourself? It´s a miracle and Wanda already knows she can´t risk your well being any much longer. It is just the right time for someone to take care of you. And she´s doing a really good job at it.
As you think nothing can make you feel better, you feel the same wetness that is going in and out of you, sliding up and down your ass. Subconsciously you move, so your in better position for whatever is coming. And trust Wanda, there is always something coming.
It´s way slower and more gentle. Your mind is waiting only for one thing, a slight push. But Wanda wants to tease you for little bit, she wants your body to beg for it, when your head is too foggy to do so. You don´t feel embarrassed anymore, you don´t care. You need everything that Wanda will give you.
Wanda is still sipping on her wine as she watches you struggle, but she is feeling generous tonight, especially when she found you in this poor state, scared, weak, but mostly alone with no one who would saved you, but that will change, starting tonight at this moment.
She let her magic finally push in. As one tentacle is going in and out your pussy at the speed of light, the other one is sliding out of your ass so slow, that you start to move your hips for more. The third tentacle is slowly making its way to your clit, making you feel overstimulated.
And if Wanda was afraid you´ll be overthinking too much, now she knows you won´t ever think again. The sight of you, ruining her expensive couch with your juices is something she will make you do often. Because this is what you´ve been made to do.
You´re close and your voice is cracking from all the screaming you did tonight, Wanda finally stands up, putting her glass on the table and walks over to you, her hand finally touching you and going up and down your stomach as her red tentacles doing their own job. When her hand touches you, it's like a soothing embrace, that is also very harsh. You can feel the warmth radiating from her touch. In that moment, the outside world fades completly away, leaving you with the sensation of her touch.
She knows your close and she would love to see you fall apart, but she knows she can´t rush things. So after few squeezes of your tits and light pinch to each of your nipples, she stops. Completely. Everything. All of her magic disappearing and she makes a step back.
If you´d had any energy left you would scream, but right now, you´re just shaking on her couch. As the cold sensation envelops you, it's as if a thick dark fog descends upon your mind. The chill seeps into your thoughts, causing confusion and a sense of detachment. This cold, fuzzy feeling blurs your senses and creates an unsettling disconnect from the warmth and clarity you once knew. This is totally different from your fuzzy mind before, because at that time you were in pleasure, but now? You don´t have even that.
After a few minutes of you just laying there Wanda takes off your blindfold and you´re back in some clothes, that feels very soft. You blink a few times.
"What´s wrong, darling? You don´t like the new costume I made you?" She shushes you and wipe your falling tears. You look down, touching your new outfit, that honestly looks way better than the one you made yourself. You've got a long, black, flowing dress and a purple cloak with cool silver designs next to you. "I assumed you wouldn´t want a hat, since you didn´t had one earlier. But I made you this..." She gave you a small version of her pitch black journal.
"I- um..." You´re still shaken up from what happened before.
But what even happened before?
"You fell asleep, silly. It was hard to put those on, but look at you now!" Wanda smiles.
I slept?
"You had an intesne dream?" Wanda looks at you with concern and all you could do is just nod.
After a few minutes of complete silence Wanda comes back with a big bag full of sweets.
"Oh my god!" And your little mind is now occupied with sweets. Everything is good now.
"It´s all yours... like I´ve said. Your new outfit will make you bag full of your favorites." Wanda smiles and hands you the bag.
"Oh my god, thank you!" You take it without a beat.
"No, I thank you, darling. You know where to find me if you want more." Wanda winks and you feel this ache between your legs.
"I- uh huh." You nod once again.
As Wanda closed the door behind you, she knew right away, that you will be back soon. She needs you to come back by yourself, if she captured you now, it wouldn’t do a single good. And till that time, her magic will follow you everywhere, to make sure her new thing is safe. And that your mind is always occupied by really important things.
Wanda comes into the living room to clean, she looks at the couch that is still very wet and as she´s in her head a group of people appears behind her.
"How the hell do you always do this, Maximoff?" A tall blonde asks with jealousy in her voice.
"You always have the most naive ones and they literally come to you!" Other lady snarks.
Wanda smiles and turns around. "Well I think that this one will be open for some sharing. Literally." She smirks at her own joke.
Knock knock.
Wanda opens the door and to her surprise it´s you.
"Hai, um... i was thinking- I really like this one chocolate, but i found only one in the bag you gave me so uh, do you have maybe another one? I can trade it for something!" You smile at her.
Wanda is just looking at you with smile on her face. As you came way sooner and she doesn’t know what to say.
"Of course! We have plenty of those here and we will happily trade it with you for something else!" The blonde one almost pushed Wanda out of the way.
"Great! Thanks!" You happily walked back in.
Let´s just say, that after that night you had every sweet you ever wished for. And they had their own.
Oooof this was something. I need to get my writing spirit back, cuz this ain’t it.
Anyways thank you for reading!!!
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bruciemilf · 27 days
Note
Adding onto the ask about smoking/vaping— I like your hc that Bruce tried it once and didn’t like it
Instead, I hc that Bruce and Harvey would do acid sometimes in college <3 along with the occasional psychedelics
+ their first time on shrooms went something like this:
*Bruce and Harvey, laying on the grass in the garden of Wayne Manor at midnight*
Harvey: the Barr test is like a bar I have to test with the law and I test the law… with a bar. Oh my god I literally teststin’ the law with a bar. A solid pipe would be better. Maybe a wrench. Jesus. Holy shit. Brucie. Sweetheart. I gotta be trainin’ harder for this thing. Babydoll. We gotta hit the gym together. Can you buy out the gym? We gotta gym the law with a bar. Get Jim to help us. Your father work/ed with him, right? Goddamn. Jim is hitting the law. With a gor on the din. Hm. We betta’ catch that Penguin bastard. Quackity fuck. ‘Ll see if he can “Wha Wha!” his way out of charges for fuckin’ tax evasion. What a bastard. Hm. His shrooms are greaaatt tho... Brucie, honey, we gotta pile up on these before taking his ass down-
Bruce, eyes wide: Gothnmam ha,s neve,,,r been so colorful ^~^ It’sssssss so.v many colors ^•o•^!,¡¡!! Tttaht’s so nice |! >#<
*Meanwhile, in the manor*
Alfred, watching the two with the clearest line of sight from his bedroom window, sighing with reluctant fondness : the boy is just like his mother
Dude I love this but fun fact: I LITERALLY headcanon Thomas took Bruce to a recovery center, which was as ethical as anything else in Gotham, and went “you can do what you want :) but are you sure you want to end up here :) are you really sure :))”
Either that or simply asks Gordon to show him Drop houses. Sure, it’s harsh, but it’s a reality Bruce will have to look in the eye. Unless Thomas FIXES it, which of course he will (spoiler alert: he didn’t)
(PS this is NOT an effective parenting method and Thomas slept in the attic for a week after Alfred found out)
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likedovesinthewindd · 10 months
Note
Hii I little angsty request but could you do one where reader comforts hobie after his Canon event?
Somthing where reader keeps rambling because she doesnt know how else to fill the silence and they end up having the- "do you want me to shut up" "No" "do you want me to leave?" "...no"- conversation
ok so in the movie itself it doesn't really go into detail ab what hobie's canon event is exactly, and a lot of theories talk about it being him killing a police captain. then there's also the shot that shows him throwing away his suit. in the comics he kills president osborne and reveals his identity so that could also be it but idk!! maybe i didn't catch it but i left it as ambiguous so that you could kinda go with whatever.
hobie brown x fem! reader
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warning: mentions of death, ingury
wc: ±1400
a/n: this was slow-cooking in my damn drafts but i finally got it done.
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The pelts of rain that fall against your bedroom door in their uncoordinated rhythm does little to lull you back to sleep as you thrash around in the sheets, your mind torturing you with the recurring thoughts of 'what if?'
What if he got hurt? What if he's lying somewhere, bleeding out and slipping right through your fingers? What if he was already dead, killed in cold blood by one of the many people against him and the message he so fearlessly and shamelessly carries with him.
You turn around in bed once again, willing the thoughts away as you try to focus on something less pessimistic.
You haven't heard from Hobie in days, haven't seen him even longer ago. It wasn't uncommon for him to dissappear like this—you almost expected it from him considering what he did—but it's never been this long before. The longest he's been gone was four days. It's been ten today.
You knew he could take care of himself, and you knew he could protect himself well. Hell, you've both heard and seen what happened to the people that underestimated him. But you still worried, it was in your nature to worry about him every time he left you. He knew this, and he'd do his best to reassure you in his own laid-back, almost cocky way.
"You worry too much, love. 'll be back before you knowit, yeah?" was what he'd always say, leaving you with a kiss to the forehead. You couldn't exactly remember what he said when he left days ago.
At that, your mind whirred back to life, the what if's and gruesome scenarios plaguing you for the umpteenth time this day alone. Before these thoughts could once again pull you into a depreciating hole of anxiety and stress, you shot out of bed, the cold air at once causing goosebumps along the expanse of your arms
You had to do something; move around, clean your room, watch TV, fold laundry, anything to get your mind off of things, even if only for a little while. You decided to make your way to the kitchen, make yourself something to eat, considering you've been too on edge to stomach anything truly filling.
The soothing voice of Billie Holiday filled the kitchen from the old record player, as you absent-mindedly stirred at the pot of pasta, the pan next to it simmering with sauce. Your reverie was broken by the sound of your bedroom window being slid open, followed by the thud of boots and a loud sigh.
Your heart sunk down to the soles of your feet, as you quietly yet excitedly made your way to your bedroom. There he stood, pulling at his mask, the rest of him soaked from the heavy downpour. He pulled the mask from his face, and once his eyes met yours, you knew something was wrong.
You made your way over to him, your socked feet trying to avoid the small puddle his boots had made as you took his cold hands in yours. He took a second to look down at where your hands connected, and released another tired sigh. "Bee?" you asked, trying to get him to look at you. He looked up at you with sullen eyes.
"Are you hungry?" you asked softly. You didn't ask him where he was, or what he was doing. He wasn't going to give you a real answer anyway. Not right now, at least. You didn't pry at that part of his life, although the various news reports and newspaper articles kept you more than informed most of the time. That was if they weren't being filtered through by the regime of the higher ups, them not very keen on telling the story how it really is. Much more interested in keeping their hands seemingly clean, and painting him as the bad guy; the wannabe hero trying to further worsen the state of the already near-apocalyptic nation.
He only nodded at you question, and you nodded along with him, already seeing that it was going to be one of those nights; where he much rather preferred you did all the talking, while he mulled over whatever event had occurred.
"Go take a shower, I'll finish up the food," you said softly, leaving him and returning to the kitchen. After a while he emerged from the bedroom, changed into dry clothes as he made his way to the kitchen table. He sat by the island quietly, watching you cook and listening to you as you talked about what you'd been up to. He didn't miss the small "I missed you, bee. You had me worried," thrown in.
It wasn't long till the both of you sat in your small living room after finishing your food. You could see he wasn't really hungry, but he ate just to give you some peace of mind. The sound of Billie Holiday was by now traded for Amy Winehouse, her beautifully gruff voice mixing perfectly with the sound of the rain that still pelted against the windows.
"—I knew she was only joking, but I was still scared as hell. You know how easily I get stressed out," you rambled on about whatever stupid story you could think of, anything to fill the deafening silence between the two of you. You, by now, were on your third story already, and you could feel how irritating you probably were. You were trying to get him to react, to snicker, laugh, make one of his sarcastic remarks, anything to tell you he was alright. You could see he wasn't alright, though.
He looked so tired, like something was eating at him, and it killed you to see him like this. It was obvious that whatever had happened was not just one of those nights, but something much more serious.
You followed his line of sight, where he had been staring at the coffee table with a blank stare, eyes trained on the cover of a newspaper you had bought.
"Do you want me to shut up?" you asked quietly, at your wits end. He finally looked at you, shaking his head slowly. "No," he added, voice gruff and deep from no use. You nodded, moving closer to him and placing your hand on his leg, giving it a light squeeze.
"I decided to buy one today, when I passed the convenience store 'round the corner from work," you started, "yeah...haven't read one in ages. There's actually an article about you in there, don't know how they managed to get that printed," you laughed weakly. "They called you 'Spiderpunk', I know how much you hate that," you added quietly, your resolve crumbling when the only thing you got out of him was a scoff. Usually he'd go on a tangent about how much he hated the term, but tonight he was so quiet, so sullen it actually unnerved you.
"I'm here if you want to talk, you know that, right?" you asked, and he gave you a nod. "Perhaps not right now, but when you're ready, I'll be here. I'll always be here. Even if we end up never talking about it, it's fine." For a moment his face faltered, looking as though he desperately wanted to talk to you about whatever happened, but the words got stuck in his throat, making him swallow dryly.
"D'you want me to leave? Give you some space?" you asked again, and when his eyes met yours, you could see every hidden emotion in them, every unsaid word he so desperately wanted to utter to you. The sight made your heart clench. How badly you wanted to wrap your arms around him, make him forget, but if he wanted distance, it was what you'd give him.
Once again it was just the sound of Amy Winehouse and the downpour filling the small room, along with Hobie's deep and steady breaths against your collarbones.
"No, stay a bit," he said, and you nodded once again. You moved impossibly closer to him, finally wrapping your arms around his neck and engulfing him in an embrace. He accepted your affection, responding by wrapping his long arms around your waist and practically pulling you into his lap, placing his head on your shoulder and letting out another exhausted sigh.
He can only hold her, miss Winehouse sang.
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robynlilyblack · 2 years
Text
You're not my wife?
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Sirius Black x fem! reader
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Summary: Sirius comes home very drunk and accidently lets something slip while his girl looks after him
Warnings: swearing, established relationship, pure fluff, mentions of drinking, drunkness (both on Sirius' part), sex and being unwell, slight nudity and some suggestion but nothing explict, Sirius being the sweetest and cutest drunken puppy, very quickly proofread
A/n: 3k words, not requested, the idea just popped into my head and I needed to feel better after a really tough week and a bit x hope you enjoy! I''ll be writing requests again soon, I might make a post about it tomorrow x
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Navigation | Sirius Black Masterlist
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You were snuggled up in bed, entering the perfect land of slowly drifting off yet still in control of your fantasy. You were somewhat aware of your surroundings. You could feel the coziness of the blanket. the soft plush of the mattress below, the safety Sirius’ pillow brung as you cuddled it. Yet. You didn't register the front door closing with a small thump, nor your boyfriend whispering curses at it for doing so, as well as at the floorboards for creaking
Sirius was beyond drunk. It was James’ fault really…or perhaps it was Marlenes? Or maybe Dorcas and those little cocktails that just tasted too good to stop drinking. Whatever it was he was smashed, and he was certain you had never seen him this drunk, in fact he was sure he’d ever seen himself this drunk, and for the life of him he didn’t remember why he got this drunk. 
All his brain could focus on was he had to get to you, you were the most important thing in that moment 
“Shit and fuck” he hisses as his jeans belt loop catches in the handle of the bedroom door, causing him to be pulled back and wack the side of his head
After more than a few attempts the door released him from its crutches and his eyes fell upon you, beautiful, beautiful you. He staggered over to his side, stripping himself of his jacket, attempting to unbutton his shirt before just pulling it over his head. Once those were off he just stood there for a good minute, brain blanking on what he was supposed to be doing before he heard you hum
“Y/n” he mumbles, collapsing surprising gently to the floor and planting his chin into the soft covers “How’d I get so lucky” he says, admiring how the soft glow of the street lights brings out your features
He starts talking to himself, telling your unconscious self all of the ways he loves you even if it’s really coming out as incoherent babbles.
“Glow of your hair and the shine of your shine…sorry the shine of your skin and the softness of your eyes” he mixes them up but they’re said so lovingly you would probably understand if you heard 
“Your pretty…” he continues on and on, repeating himself and these slowly wake you, eyes fluttering open to see Sirius smiling away in his own little world
The next thing you register is the smell, alcohol and cigarettes, it clung to him, while one more prominent than the other you didn’t really mind, you were just glad he was home and safe and happy
“Hi” you greet, giggling as his eyes light up and his chin edges closer to you “Are you nude?” You wonder eyeing his bare back with fuzzy vision as it wouldn’t be this first time
He shakes his head but a cheeky grin appears “I can be” he winks, or at least tries to, as he ends up just blinking theatrically with his head tilted forward
“Flirt” you roll your eyes, digging your cheek further into the pillow to hide the effect even terrible flirting still had on you
“Your flirt though” he shifts closer, kissing your cheek softly
“You are” you admit turning back to face him, you had seen Sirius drunk many times but you had to admit he looked so dazey almost dizzy looking you were sure he was currently in the late stages of blacking out “You need to take off your jeans before getting in” you say, spotting to dark hue of blue now your eyes had adjusted 
He scrunches his face but does it. Not gracefully though as he lets his arse fall to the floor, causing you to move his pillow back up and crawl across. Peering over the bed you watch him with an amused smile, his body flat on the hardwood floor, wiggling out of his jeans
“All the way?” He asks like a child
You nod “All the way puppy” your use of the nickname causes him to work not only faster but wear the cutest little grin as he does it
Eventually he’s left in his boxers. You admire him, even as he struggles to work his way back up to his knees and kneel at the side of the bed again “Can I get in now?” he pleads, flashing his big puppy eyes
You would normally say yes, but his breath was pretty bad. Besides, he had told you once he hated waking up to the stale taste in his mouth, so made you promise if not inebriated yourself to make him clean his teeth
“You should brush your teeth” you give him a sad smile, heart aching at his pout “I can help you if you want”
His eyes grow wide, mood shifting and he nods quickly. You lift the covers, revealing you’re only in a slip. Sirius is enamoured by it. A giddy grin on his face when you accidentally flash him and he realises you have nothing underneath
Standing up you look down, holding out your hands for him. He takes them but lingers on the floor, a look on his face you know all too well
“One peek” you concede, holding your giggle as his head pokes between your legs for a few seconds
He soon pulls back, looking more than satisfied with himself as you help him stand up
“You’re so pretty” again his voice is dazed, but it doesn’t stop the smile on your face
What is it they say? Drunken words are sober thoughts? If that was true it meant everything Sirius did and said were true, only now it was amplified and had a dizzy puppy vibe
Guiding him into the bathroom he plops himself on the edge of the bath, something that could end badly but would be equally hilarious…knowing him he’d probably give up and ask for a pillow if he fell in
Grabbing his toothbrush you squeeze a little bit of paste onto it “Open wide” you instruct and in return he cheeses at you “Siri” 
“What?” He shrugs before opening his mouth properly, jaw slack so you could manoeuvre easy
You softly brush his teeth, not wanting to place too much pressure since you had only done this for him a few times before when he was really sick. 
Sirius watches you the entire time and in that moment you were like some kind of angel. Sure he was drunk, the bathroom light behind your bed was causing spots as he blinked and created a halo around your head, but still you were angelic…maybe more than that to him as his brain ran one very drunk cell who was convinced he was missing something 
“Spit” you ask and he turns his head away from you
Your eyebrows furrow before you realise, watching him spit it out in the bathtub. He then turns back looking proud of himself, a small bit of paste still clinging to the edge of his lips
You smile sweetly, taking the pad of your thumb and clearing it off. You can’t pull away though because Sirius’ darts forward to capture it and sucks on it
“Siri!” You squeal at pulling it out, you weren’t mad but you did hope he’d feel tired soon…and merlin did you hope he stayed human and didn’t run around as a dog like he did when he had a fever a few weeks ago
He laughs loudly at the face you made, before he begins to laugh at his own laughing resulting in a small fit. 
You quickly rinse the toothbrush and place it in the holder, then move to steady Sirius since you’re sure he’s gonna fall if he’s not careful, and knowing your luck he’ll fall forward onto the tiles rather than the bathtub behind him
His giggles die down. Taken a sudden interest in you and his eyes wander up your body. Drinking it in. He lingers on your thighs and then on two particular assets, to which you’re sure he’s thankful for your lack of bra and coldness of the bathroom. Eventually he reaches your face, eyes darting over it and his smile brightens
His smile drifts to a funny one “I’m sorry you have to look after me” he apologies with a slight chuckle, hands finding the outsides of your lower thighs and pushing upwards towards your hips, bringing the slip with it
You pinch the material around his hands outwards, letting it fall back down enough to cover you. Not that you cared about him seeing, it was more you were sure he would get distracted again
“You’d do the same for me” you assure him
He reponses by nuzzling his nose into your stomach “I’m gonna be so hungover” he mumbles, a small moment of clarity washing over him, although it wasn’t really true clarity as his brain still connects all the wrong dots as time and fantasy mixes up 
“I know. Don’t worry tomorrow…well actually later today, I’ll make you breakfast in bed and tease you rotten” you smile down at him
His head lifts and his eyes can meet yours “Thank you sweetheart” he smiles lazily before standing up shakily with your help
You move back a little, hands finding his shoulders while his slip down from your hips briefly only to grasp them again over your slip
“I'm glad you’re my wife” he says casually, a fond smile on his face while your eyes blow wide…and so does your heart
You just stare at him a moment, processing. Heart fluttering around at the title you always imagined having one day, yet were nowhere near prepared for how good it would sound from his lips. Nor how easily it slipped from them
“Siri love” you cup his cheeks 
“Yeah?” He says like a hum
“I’m not your wife” you inform him
Instantly you regret it
His happy expression drops, pouting and almost looks like he may cry “You’re not my wife?” his grip on your hips tighten, voice cracking
You shake your head and find yourself aching at how heartbroken he is over it. You know it’s the booze, you know he likely won’t remember this come morning but you still scold yourself for not playing along 
“You said no?” he asks and you look at him baffled
“To what?” you wonder, even if there’s a tiny voice screaming what it was in the back of your mind
He doesn’t answer, merely asks “You didn’t want to be my wife?” 
His tone is soft and so pure you could cry yourself, yet you still started to smile, heart thumping as you watched your boyfriend in mild awe
“You didn’t ask me to be your wife Siri”
“I didn’t?” 
If you could describe him in that moment you would have to say he looked like he was doing some complex mathematics because boy oh boy was he processing for almost a good few minutes
“You wanna marry me?” He finally says “I really...really want to marry you”
You find yourself itching to scream yes, but you also know he probably isn’t going to remember this nor are you 100% sure he’s…
“I have the ring and everything...” 
…serious
Your hands drop from his cheeks to his chest “What?!” You stare at him in complete shock
“...give me a minute I’ll go get it and get down on two knees...one knee...my arse?” he shrugs trying to walk away but you stop him
“Siri, y-you have a ring?” You ask confused and happy and sick all at once, eyes glazing as you listen to his answer and start to believe this is actually real
“Yeah in the…” he hiccups pointing out the bathroom door “…in the bottom drawer of my bedside table” realisation dawns on his face but not the kind you think “That’s why I got drunk! I remember now I was so nervous you wouldn’t like my proposal...and the...ughh...talk...umm” 
He freezes, clogs turning before he closes his eyes. You can almost see his memory reseting, like remembering the real reason made his drunken brain short circuit
“You really didn’t say yes to the picnic? At the same lake where had our first date?” he asks opening them, eyes now boring into you and you can no longer find it in yourself to deny him
“I did. I did say yes Siri” you nod, smiling brightly up at him
“You did?” you nod again “And the proposal…wait no... the speech! Was that okay? Prongs cried at it but Reg thought it was a little long and moony called me a sap…or was that Marlene…or Dorcas?” his eyes blow wide “It was shit wasn’t it? That’s why she gave me the little pink drinks cause it was terrible and you found it terrible...and him terrible and me...” he scrunches his face
“It was beautiful Siri” you pull his face up to look at yours, cutting his rabble off before you let them slip back down to his chest once more “Utter perfection. I was just pulling your leg earlier” you giggle trying to brighten him up while simultaneously trying not to squeal at the idea of there really being a ring in that drawer and him actually proposing
He sighs in relief, quickly wrapping his arms around you
“Thank merlin I’ve been worried for weeks” he tucks his head into the crook of your neck “You’re finally my wife for real. I'm not dreaming right?” he asks once more pulling back to look at you
“I am” you confirm "I'm so your wife...so...definitely your wife" you emphasise with all your heart and it makes his face light up brighter than the tree back at hogwarts
He grins, cupping your cheeks and squishing them ever so slightly “You’re my…” he hiccups again “…I’m your wife” he finishes
You giggle at his mistake but can't find it in yourself to correct him “You’re my wife…” you peck his lips “…and I’m your dashing husband” you go along with it
He pulls you in for another hug, almost bone crushing but you don’t care, your heart had never been fuller
“I love you so much” he presses a hard kiss to your temple, hand to the back of your head
“I love you too wifey” you tease gently, though in his state it’s literal, he’s now your wife and you’re now his husband, no take backsies “Now let’s get you to bed”
He nods into your neck, kissing it softly before allowing you to lead him through. Reaching the bed he sits on the edge while you push down the covers. He smiles at you and then your arse as you crawl over to your side, accidentally exposing it to him
You turn back and notice his stare “Enjoying yourself?” you ask, purposely lifting your arse up before yourself fall into your side
He nods shamelessly “Very much” he falls backwards, shifting around into the bed and letting you pull the covers up “You’re so good to me” 
You finish tucking him in and move forward so your chest touches his “What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t take good care of my hot wife?” you tap his nose
He chuckles so cutely at the gesture “I am the hottest wife” his words like a sigh as he pulls you into him, rolling you over onto your back so he can cuddle into you
His head settles on your chest
“That you are puppy” you wrap your arms around him, feeling his cheeks rise “And I’m the prettiest husband”
He looks up at you bobbing his head ever so slightly “You are the prettiest human in the whole world” he turn back to lay on your chest “And have the best boobs to sleep on”
You giggle as his head lifts up and his hand comes up to pat your boobs in order to get comfortable before he lays back down again. Arm slithering around your torso and within seconds he’s gone quiet
“Siri?” you lean forward "Siri?" you ask again then realise he's finally passed out, and is smiling like an idiot into your chest 
You gently rock him off and replace yourself with a pillow briefly. Briefly being the main word as you quickly slip out of bed and kneel down at his drawer. You take a deep breath before opening it, and sure thing there is a black velvet box tucked away in the back. 
You bite your lip, grasping bringing it into the light so you could see it clearer. Again you take a second before flicking it open with your thumbs, grinning so wide your nose scrunches up when you see the ring and your heart bounces around the room 
Come morning he wouldn’t remember much, only moments like you brushing his teeth and his head being between your legs, to which you would laugh at his brains priorities on the second.
You wouldn’t tell him that you already knew, nor that you had seen the ring and technically already agreed to be his wife…and, you guessed, husband as well. No. You would listen to the beautifully crafted speech by the lake, in your best outfit, from the man you loved and it would make you cry happy tears. And then he would ask that all important question. To which you, of course, would say yes
But for now you sat there, admiring the ring for a few a little while, before putting it back exactly where you found it and closing the drawer.
You were positively glowing as you made your way back into bed with Sirius once more. Replacing pillow with yourself and watching Sirius instantly cuddle back into you, humming as he does 
You hold him tightly and press a lingering kiss to his hair, then whisper
“Goodnight Siri. I love you and I can’t wait to officially be your future…” you giggle “…your future husband tomorrow”
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Thank you for reading ♡
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millysastroblog · 1 year
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🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄
SHAKING MY HEAD ASTRO NOTES PT.4
# unpopular opinion !!!!!
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🤦🏾‍♀️Venus in Libra, Venus conjunct Mars, are u guys talking to me or flirting with me. Because HONEY it is hard to differentiate, with yall charming asses. You all make my heart and mind hurt , chile. #Stop it 😏😍!
🤦🏾‍♀️Moon/- Lilith hard aspects = sexsist in WORST CASE (extreme ,out of ordinary views on females, womanhood, and female roles)
or the complete opposite being a hard core (feminist) but bashing men for literally existing.🤥 ! # In Worst case ,have seen it in many ppl charts!!
🤦🏾‍♀️Jupiter in the 3rd talk aloooot to the point of making my ears hurt, like 1000 words in 1 min is to much for me girl! # chiiiiiiiillllew
🤦🏾‍♀️Uranus in the 11th switing friend groups every new season of the year. These are the friends that you wont see that much because of how unpredictable they are ! like can yall settle down for once and not flake on people!
🤦🏾‍♀️Same with Uranus in the 7th in parterships they come and go like the wind blowing !
🤦🏾‍♀️Cancers placements and their victimization complex,
🤦🏾‍♀️same goes for pisces placements !
🤦🏾‍♀️cancer mixed with libra not showing ppl that they dont like them at all, holding a lot of resentment, and anger towards people # babes this is not helathy!
🤦🏾‍♀️the award of the attention whore of the zodiac goes tooooooo leo and LIBRAAAAAAS
🤦🏾‍♀️libras can sometimes rely to much on other people to the point of codependence! Wanting their friends partners pick and choose everything for them # i aint your mama babes!
🤦🏾‍♀️Opposite goes for Aries and Taurus placemenrs SUPER independent avoiding and rejecting help from others. #Hating to ask People for shit!
🤦🏾‍♀️Aquarius placements and their sometimes ultimate, god complex, wider than the univers EGOS , everytihing i say is and must be right (mixed with gemini, virgo, or mercury dominance) , get on my motherfucking nerves# somebody needs to check yall asses 🙄 !
🤦🏾‍♀️mars - uranus/mars- jupiter harsh aspects men are so fucking reckless , two steps away of putting yourself in a sticky situations #be carful, dont be breaking no windows, doors and unless u want to go to jail,
🤦🏾‍♀️12th house stelliums/Pisces Stelliums not living in the Moment at all. These are people u gotta call their names 5 times until they´ll catch up and wake up from lala land!# Practincing midfullness might solve the maladaptive day dreaming, # i suffer from ths shit to !! 🫤
🤦🏾‍♀️Virgos having this inner need to be perfect, babes u are fine just the way u are !!
🤦🏾‍♀️Down side of their internal perfectionism is that they mirror that back on to others. Being very critical and nitpicky about the smallest things !
🤦🏾‍♀️Lilith in the 5th/ Leo are over board scary party animals 🤠☠️ literally wanting to party and be drunk every fucking day #yall need to slow down and chiiiiiiiiillle
🤦🏾‍♀️Saturn in the 5th you guys despise children. Children for them are these scary little monsters !
🤦🏾‍♀️Venus sqaure Uranus/ Jupiter, Jupiter / Uranus in the 7th have or had a lot of suitors, relationships but sometimes they take them for granted, not taking them seriously because they have lots of options, Thinking it is all games ! # LUST before actual LOVE ! #beginning stages, # underdeveloped
🤦🏾‍♀️Venus- Mercury are dangerous charming motherfuckers hyponotizing you with their words, can use this power to take advantage of other people if not evolved, like manipulating, scamming, lying especially with Pluto and neptune prominence in Chart # siren voices 🔊
🤦🏾‍♀️Chiron in the 1st house, Chiron - ASC hard aspects are prone to pay a lot of attention to the physical appearance of others . Like having a pimple, thin hair, etc, theyll analyze your whole body and you wonder WHY??? # mmmmmhh, y’all guess? 🤔😐
🤦🏾‍♀️DARK: Mars in the 10th, Lilith in the 10, Pluto in the 10th, Neptune in the 10th, Chiron in the 10th, 10th house stellium if afflicted might be addicted to fame, success and high social status, selling their souls/ authenticity, exploiting other ppl, doing the most random insane shit , only for them to be at the top. #power greed, politicians, social media, celebrities!!
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*******{NEW ! ⬇️} Solar Return Chart Series: PT. 1/PT.2 *******
SHAKING MY HEAD PT.5/SHAKING MY HEAD PT.3/ SHAKING MY HEAD PT.2 / SHAKING MY HEAD PT.1
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mysticheathenn · 4 months
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Where is Your Current Path Leading You? (Short)
Hi there! Remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to go seek professional help.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
PILE l: Sacred Destiny Oracle: Release, & Forgiveness, Transformation (bottom of the deck) Cards: Tower, 10 of Swords, 10 of Wands, 8 of Wands, The Fool, & Ace of Wands)
You're walking away from always carrying the burden of constantly surviving and not living life. You're tired of living life in survival mode. You want something better for yourself to the point you're willing to do any and everything to achieve it at this point. New beginnings are on the horizon especially those who are in the creative field (doesn't have to be something creative). You're moving away and releasing things that no longer align with what you want for your life. This could be people (including yourself), vices, jobs, or even living situations. I say including yourself because with the transformation card maybe some of you are tired of the new year same me and want something better than what you have been giving yourself. For example, maybe you want to lose weight, learn a new language, or pick up some new skills or hobbies. Some of you I see that you feel ashamed how you wasted so many years on either not getting your sh!t together or on people who don't deserve it but now no more. You have made your mind up that this year will not go by wasted on potential or excuses. Beautiful endings are happening and it's coming in fast. Be ready, don't be fearful of these changes. For the new to come in you need to get rid of the old. You've got this! I'm rooting for you! Keywords to where your current path is leading you are: Movement, Release, New
Pile ll: Sacred Destiny Oracle: Going Forward, & Standstill Cards: Knight of Cups (reversed), The Tower, 2 of Pentacles (reversed), King of Wands, 9 of Cups)
I'm hearing fulfillment is what your path is leading you on. A lot of you this is more of an emotional fulfillment than a financial one. For the ones that resonate with financial fulfillment, I see you're going to come out on top in being financially stable for once. You've been struggling for so long with your finances you started to lose hope, but soon things will even out. For those who resonate with emotional fulfillment maybe you have been feeling depressed, anxious, experiencing panic and anxiety attacks because life has been too hard and stressing you out. Things will come to a pause soon and life will feel more at ease to just take a breather and enjoy life a bit more. Some of you an old friend might reach out and see if you want to hang out with others you might decide to let yourself enjoy the simple pleasures in life without feeling guilty like you have to be busy or everything is going to fall apart. Keywords to where your current path is leading you are: Fulfillment, Balance, & Ease.
Pile lll: Sacred Destiny Oracle: Illumination, Forgiveness, & New Beginnings, Healing Chaos (bottom of deck) Cards: Ace of Cups, The Hermit, 6 of Swords (reversed), Knight of Wands, The World Cosmos (reversed).
There are two messages here for pile 3 but a large portion of you are coming out of hermit mode because you are beginning to feel safe after some people have hurt you whether it's a relationship, family, friends, or even a workplace. You've been doing some healing and maybe even shadow work to help ease some of your pain along with just staying to yourself and with that comes new friendships, relationships, and possibly even a new career. You're going to be looking at life with a brand-new lens. Of course, some of you may be hesitant when you decide to dip your toe outside your bubble but you're going to be met with people who match your energy and not deal with one-sided friendships and relationships. Keywords to where your current path is leading you are: Relationships (Romantic/Platonic) & Healing For others, I see your path is about showing you who your true friends and family are. There are some snakes in the grass and foxes in the hen house. I feel a moderate amount of you know exactly who this person is but you keep giving them the benefit of the doubt because wHy WoUlD ThEy HuRt YoU when you have done nothing but love them. Remember sometimes the way people treat you has nothing to do with you or how you treat them but more so with their lack of love for themselves. This group reminds me of my previous tarot reading titled "The Harsh Truth You Need to Know" If you haven't already I would definitely advise checking that one out. Keywords to where your current path is leading you are: Endings, Choices, & Deception
Pile lV: Sacred Destiny Oracle: Adventures, Voyage, & Trust, Openness (bottom of the deck) Cards: 10 of Cups, The Hierophant, 3 of Swords (reversed), 2 of Wands, 9 of Pentacles
Upon seeing the Hierophant card I heard the poem by Rober Frost The Road Not Taken. You're leaving behind worry, self-doubt, and people-pleasing and walking into a new light where you follow what you want to do and not what others want you to do. You're trusting that inner voice that keeps nagging you to do what you want to do because you're tired of living life by the rules of others. You're tired of playing it safe because you feel it hasn't gotten you anywhere but feeling a whole lot of lack in your life and you're meant to be abundant pile 3. Some of you want to be travel influencers and travel the world but maybe some of your parents or even friends keep using scare tactics on you by sending you articles of people dying or getting hurt abroad. Or maybe telling you making money by doing something that isn't a 9-5 or "traditional" isn't worth it nor substantial and you've had enough. You're finally ready to take that leap and "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac. Just know when you take this leap it's not without a little bit of struggle, but I assure you with the 10 of cups you're going to feel happy and see that it was all worth it in the end. Keywords to where your current path is leading you are: Going Against the Grain, Happiness, &Belief
That's all I have for everyone. I hope you enjoyed this reading. Until next time, stay safe and blessed.
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lalacliffthorne · 9 months
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💜 starshine pt. III 💜
Rhysand x Reader
part I part II part III part IV part V part VI
notes: literally no summary possible without intense spoilers. you´ll probably be able to guess what this chapter entails by just like the first few sentences (btw, it's been ages since I read the books, so I'm working on a lot of creative freedom with this one lol). fair warning: this one's angsty. like I already mentioned, it's also insanely long. so. have fun? I guess?
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Slipping through the wards felt like a tingle of ice on my skin. My breath hitched, and for a second, I expected the mountain to cave in on me, squash me as it realized someone had breached the magic binding so many to its halls.
But nothing happened.
The servant fae's dress slipped up my thighs when I slid into the dark corridors. I had caught her when she had lingered too close to the wards, golden whisps of magic seeping through the bounds and engulfing her, catching her when she fell into a deep, dreamless slumber. I had swapped our clothes before hiding her floating body behind a glamour and slipping into the dark mountain.
Something closed around my throat lightly as I moved through the shadows, stilling every time I heard a sound.
Fifty years.
Fifty years of chipping away at the wards guarding the mountain, little by little so no one would notice the small growing hole in the thickly woven magic. Fifty years of trying to be everywhere at once, moving through the courts, healing those in need before slipping away before anyone could notice. Fifty years of faeries slaughtered in numbers becoming bigger and bigger, causing rage to grow slowly in my chest.
Fifty years of dreaming of violet eyes like night skies.
I remembered the day Amarantha had caught them all like it was yesterday.
I had been staying in the Day Court, and from one second to the next, the warm summer night had turned ice cold. A darkness had placed itself over the world, the faeries in the garden had disappeared and the glow of the flowers had dimmed. An icy shiver had run down my spine, and like instinct, I had reached out for Rhys, for that familiar feeling that was always not far from the bounds of my mind, the sharp claws that tickled my soul before the deep, rich voice echoed through my head, even when their owner was on the other side of Prythian.
But there had been nothing. No presence, not even when I had called out to him. Instead, there was a harsh wall, like something, or someone, was blocking him.
I had started looking for him the day after.
Following the halls deeper into the mountain, I simply listened to the tug in my chest that pulled me forward, guiding me towards the hum of power. My own responded, slithering angrily under my skin, and I pushed it down, barricading it behind walls as high as the sky.
I had learned to hide the thrum of power flooding through me a long time ago. It was what kept me hidden in the courts, allowed me to exist without anyone bothering me.
Strangely enough, it had never kept Rhys from finding me, like even the way my powers were hidden was distinct enough for him to track me down. When I had brought it up once, he had just grinned so widely, his cheeks had creased as he replied: “Starshine, I would be able to find you on nothing but instinct even if you were galaxies away.”
Back then, it had made something skip softly against my ribs as I had thrown a pillow at his head.
Now, just the memory of his voice caused a strange ache in my chest.
Amarantha had taken Rhys away from his family, his home. And I was sure that the only reason he was playing her game, bowing to her, was to protect them.
If there was one thing I had learned about him in the past century, it was that his friends, his family and his home were everything to him. And that he would do anything to keep them safe.
Even give himself up.
The tight feeling in my chest shifted, like for a second, something scratched the surface, a familiar presence growing closer, and I breathed out soundlessly.
There was no way I was going to let her break him.
Not him.
The whispers from Under the Mountain had been vague, but with time, they had started to paint a picture, blurred and hazy, but clear enough to know that Amarantha had a fable for lavish nights with wine and entertainment.
I had expected that entertainment to be cruel. I had spent the last fifty years trying to protect the faeries, for Amarantha seemed to have developed a taste for keeping them like animals, all while hearing rumors about the Fae trapped Under the Mountain, forced to bow to her will.
But what was awaiting me when I slipped through the doors into the huge cavernous hall, the stench of spirits hitting me and the air pressed from my lungs – was so much worse.
There were Fae everywhere, dressed in a way that left little to the imagination. Their gazes ranged from empty to forcingly amused to petrified, but their bodies moved like they were in a trance, not their own will causing them to dance, grind on each other and do more, in plain sight for all to see.
It felt like a sick, twisted stage play, orchestrated for nothing but the embarassement and torture of the courts and one single person's amusement, one person who loomed on a dais at the back wall, sitting on a throne, dressed from head to toe in blood red.
My eyes zeroed in, and my powers surged against the walls caging them in.
Amarantha had tipped her head to the side, her golden crown glittering in the light of the torches as she watched the spectacle at the foot of the dais. Her red hair flowed over her shoulders, her long nails tapping against the armrests. There was a light amused curve to her lips, but her eyes were cold and calculating.
Somehow reigning in the magic raging under my skin, I pressed my lips together and followed her piercing gaze, down to the steps leading up to the dais -
The wind got knocked out of my lungs.
The noises, the hall around me faded as something pulsed slowly against my ribs, my heart beating like the wings of a butterfly caught in time, trying to escape from my chest as my gaze narrowed in until it was centered on the male at the foot of the dais, a picture of lazy feline confidence so familiar, I had to fight for air.
Rhys.
Suddenly, fifty years caught up with me. Fifty years of his face burned into my mind, his smile and the way his violet eyes twinkled like a glittering night sky.
Only it was gone now. The spark in his iris, the vibrancy of his eyes. His dark hair, though still impeccably styled, had lost its shine, his sunkissed skin was pale and sallow, and his smile –
Something tightened so harshly in my chest, I held my breath.
Gone was the cheeky curve of his lips, the mischievous turn of his grin and that stupidly beautiful smile. It had been replaced by a light smirk, one that was cold and cruel and –
Didn't reach his eyes.
His smile had always reached his eyes. Even when it promised violence and bloodshed and broken bones, it always translated to the way his eyes looked, to the spark in his iris, angry or furious.
Only it didn't anymore.
I tried to swallow, fight against the way something closed around my throat when I stared at Rhys and his eyes, dull and unmoving as he gazed down onto the heap at his feet, a heap -
My breath stilled, and the grip around my throat changed to vice.
It was a sprite boy. A moonwing, with feathery white hair caked with dirt, milky pale skin torn and bloody over too-thin limbs, and his wings –
His wings.
A sound built at the bottom of my throat, a strangled whimper that was swallowed by the harsh noises around me. Something clawed at my chest, a pain so heavy I almost went to my knees as I stared at what used to be thin-as-lace wings, their white membranes hanging in bloody shreds over a whipmarked back.
Quickly clamping a shaking hand over my mouth to smother the heaving sob breaking from my throat, I almost sank into the wall, my body beginning to shake. I felt something hot run over my cheek as I stared at the faerie, swaying as he tried to get to his feet without the support of his wings. His pain was mine, his despair gripping me like an iron fist, my breath trembling as my vision blurred and I whimpered.
No.
Rhysand stilled. I could see his shoulders shift. Then his head rose, eyes tearing away from the moonwing to swiftly move over the crowd, and for nothing more than a second, a fraction of a heartbeat, something flashed through his eyes, something that was buried so deep, it was nearly impossible to make out.
Like somehow, he felt my anguish, could sense a presence in the crowd that didn't belong -
The guards at the edge of the dais moved, and Rhys blinked. Then his eyes moved away from the crowd, and his back straightened when a male stepped forward, staring hungrily at the moonwing.
There was a bloody whip hanging from his hand.
My heart tightened, lips parting as nausea washed over me like a tidal wave.
But before the male could take another step, Rhys moved. His motions were quick and smooth as always when he took a step forward and picked the moonwing up by his neck, and I could see the fairie's iridescent eyes flaring with panic as he started to struggle.
Then Rhys' hand closed around his jaw.
My heart stopped and my breath stilled when the crack of bones snapping whipped through the hall.
The moonwing's body went limp, head rolling to the side.
A muscle in Rhys' cheek twitched, his face unmoving as he let the faerie slip to the ground and raised his head, turning around. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the moonwing's lifeless body as the other male moved towards him with a scowl, gripping one of the fairie's shredded wings before he turned to drag him away from the dais and into the shadows, leaving behind a pool of blood on the stone floor.
Something hot streamed over my cheeks as I fought to breathe, and magic started to push against my skin, slowly growing until I had to keep all my focus on keeping it subdued.
My eyes rose, and a cold fist closed around my heart when Rhys sat down next to Amarantha. Her hand drifted towards him, her fingernails dragging lightly over his skin, and I could see the second his eyes clouded over like he had dragged up walls, high, high, higher as Amarantha whispered something with a smile like a viper.
Rhysand nodded once, eyes trained onto the crowd like it could hide the way his shoulders shifted like his body fought to move away.
It was all I needed to straighten my spine and breathe, something beginning to burn under my skin.
I had slinked into the shadows when Amarantha had risen from her throne, Rhys following suit, though there was something in the way his eyes seemed to dull even more when he moved after her.
I lost them in the maze of halls a few times, but something, like a small tug in my chest, kept pulling me back onto the right path, like the golden whisps of magic swirling under my skin had latched onto Rhys, guiding me.
Slipping around a corner, I just caught a glimpse at a door closing. Waiting for a few moments, just to make sure, I slowly started to move, avoiding lanterns and melting into the shadows as I soundlessly slid down the hall until I could disappear into the alcoven right next to the door.
Pressing my back against the cold stone walls, I leaned my temple against the wall and focused on the noises slipping from the room.
For a second, my mind was slow, struggling to place the muffled sounds that seemed to be a female's, harsh and strangely drawn –
My heart stilled.
I could feel my breath, ragged as I stared at the wall ahead, something suddenly filling my throat like the urge to be sick, to stagger away from that door and what was behind it.
I was already half pushing away from the wall when the wave of emotion hit me like a brick. Like someone inside that room had slipped up, had lost control of what kept their feelings locked deep, deep down, because what they were doing right now was a struggle in itself, a struggle like having a hand around your throat that kept you from breathing.
I didn't know how I knew it was him. I just knew that the way his emotions vibrated under my skin, causing my knees to give out and my body to silently slide down the wall to collapse to the ground as I fought for air, was uniquely his.
Rhys was drowning.
I could feel it, feel the way his sense of self and his will to fight dwindled like they were slowly dragged under water. Overrun and fought to their knees by pain.
Pain that felt like ghostly fingernails running over his skin, like actions that broke apart pieces of him and caused guilt to drown him without his limbs fighting.
It was humiliation, and repulsion, and numbness. And fear.
Fear, so overwhelming and all-consuming, it wrapped around my throat like a rope, pulling tighter and tighter as I crouched frozen at the wall, tears streaming down my cheeks and something in my chest shattering silently as I squeezed my eyes shut.
I didn't know how I long I was sitting in the shadows, nor could I place the moment when Rhys' emotions slipped away like he had found the gap in his armor and patched it back up. But the remnants of them still clung to my chest, joining into a heaviness when I could hear movements behind the door.
Quickly and with shaking hands, I pulled myself to my feet, slipping back down the hall and into the shadows at the corner to the next, tear tracks cool against my cheeks when I watched the door open.
My heart stilled as I watched Amarantha appear in the hall, slipping her dress over her legs with a satisfied smile.
Something started swirling under my skin, growing with every second. Power, golden light that raged like fire, roaring and threatening to break free, to unleash and make the mountain collapse into itself as golden light wrapped around Amarantha's throat –
Swallowing, I forced it down with trembling hands.
Not like this.
It had taken years to gather enough information, barely any whispers trickling out of the mountain. Years to figure out that she had the High Lords under her control, chained to the mountain, all while her guards wreaked havoc on the lands outside. Courts withering, faeries dying.
The children from Winter had been the last straw.
I had to find a way to free the High Lords, get back their powers. Attacking Amarantha would just risk something happening to those caught down here, or outside.
Sinking back into the shadows, I watched Amarantha disappear into the other direction. I waited until she was gone, waited some more, just to make sure. Then I slipped down the hall.
The door creaked a little when I pushed it open, and cringing lightly, I hastily slipped through, closing it behind me carefully before raising my head, and my heart skyrocketed.
Rhys was standing at the opposite wall, his bare back towards me and shoulders shifting as he tensed, going rigid. He didn't turn around when he mumbled: “Anything else?”
His deep voice took away my breath, something tightening harshly in my chest at it's roughness.
He sounded defeated.
His name tumbled from my lips before I could stop it, quiet and hoarse and a little shaky.
“Rhys.”
He froze.
I watched as his shoulders straightened. He looked like he was holding his breath, his hands closing so tightly around the shirt in his hands, his knuckles turned white as he stared at the wall ahead, and for a second, I thought I could see a tremble run over his spine.
I took a step forward, whispering: “Rhys?”
His head turned ever so slightly, like he was forcing himself not to turn around but couldn't fully control his body, and I saw the moment he caught onto my scent.
His nose flared, and his limbs went utterly and fully still, like for a second, he even stopped breathing. Then he looked over his shoulder, and I stared at him, felt something surge high in my chest when his gaze found mine.
Rhys blinked, and my bottom lip trembled when his eyes became glossy, one corner of his lips curving slowly. Then he whispered, rough voice broken: “You're not real.”
My heart clenched violently, and I swallowed, staring at him through the haze of pain. Then I moved towards him, slowly but steadily, and I could feel Rhys fight the closer I got, like the instinct to reach out and the fear of reaching right through me were battling in his chest.
Halting a few inches away, stopping to keep myself from moving even though every part of me screamed at me to get closer, I swallowed before carefully reaching out a hand.
When my fingers brushed over his arm, something rippled through Rhys' body. His eyes snapped up from where he had watched my hand almost fearfully, flying to meet mine as his glossed over ones grew wide and his lips parted.
I sniffled, nose crunching as I sent him a smile, wobbly and uneven.
“Not getting rid off me that easily, remember?”, I whispered, and Rhys' hand closed around my wrist to yank me forward, into his arms.
My heart stopped when my chest collided with his.
It felt like I was thrown into one of the dreams that had haunted me for fifty years, dreams in which he'd been there, had grinned at me and teased me and been his gloriously annoying self, dreams I had woken from with a weight on my chest pressing me down, because I could feel the memory of his presence slip through my fingers.
Only now, I didn't wake up, and there was no pressing knowledge somewhere buried in the depth of my mind that it was nothing but a dream.
No, Rhys was there, tall and solid as he wrapped himself around me, clinging to me like I could be ripped away from him any second, and my breath hitched when I could feel the way his body started to tremble.
Something small in my chest shattered silently, and barely suppressing a soft whimper as pressure rose in my throat, I hastily wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held onto him. Held onto him, his skin cool under my mine, muscles taut as a bowstring when my fingers dug into the back of his shoulders and I clung to him, and Rhys laughed, wet and desperate and causing my chest to tighten so harshly, I hiccuped. His hands grabbed at my back, my dress, one finding its way into my hair, and I fought the heavy weight on my chest and the way my voice thickened when I whispered: “Hello.”
Rhys whimpered, his trembling fingers tightening their hold like he tried to drag me closer, like I wasn't already pressed into his chest, his breath shaking like the rest of him when he buried his face in the crook of my neck, and I could feel the second his walls broke. His chest started heaving, and something warm and wet pooled on my skin.
“It's okay.” I squeezed my eyes shut as I held onto him, feeling tears roll over my cheek as the ache in my chest spread, and my voice broke a little when I whispered: “I'm real.”
A shaking sob broke from Rhys' throat, and his fingers dug into my skin when he breathed out with a shudder that shook his body. Then he pulled back, nose pressing into my hair for a second, and when I raised my head, his hand slipped up to curl around the back of my neck, and Rhys pressed his forehead against mine. His quick, unsteady breaths made my heart skip, and I forced open my eyes, staring at him and his scrunched eyebrows and the tears silently rolling over his cheeks as he fought for air.
Quickly, I slid my hands down to press them against his sides, feeling my voice crack a little when I whispered: “Breathe.”
Rhys' eyes flew open, and the world staggered when his violet iris met mine, shimmering with tears and everything shining through them, like a dam inside of him had broken. He stared at me like I was the night sky he hadn't seen for fifty years, his fingers curling into my hair.
His eyes tracked the dried tears on my cheeks, and then his body went awfully still.
For a second, Rhys gazed down at me, his throat working as he swallowed harshly and his grip slackened a little. His eyes flickered over mine, and his voice, rough and fragile, broke a little when he mumbled: “How long have you been outside?”
I tried to breathe against the heaviness in my chest as I stared up at him, losing the fight against the way my throat closed as my vision blurred and my bottom lip wobbled.
My silence was answer enough.
Rhys' fingers twitched, and I could feel him freeze, pulling back, but I dug my fingers into his bare skin and swallowed harshly, a tear running over my cheek when I whispered, voice shaking: “I'm going to kill her.”
Rhys' eyes followed the tear, widening slightly, and suddenly, he looked panicked.
“You have to leave.”
“Rhys –“
“You have to get out of here, if she finds you with me –“ His breath quickened, his wide eyes causing something to squeeze my heart harshly.
In over a hundred years, I had never seen him like this, so utterly and completely afraid; fear, sheer frantic panic rolling off him in waves, completely ungarded -
“Indeed.”
I could feel the way Rhys froze under my hands when my eyes flew over to the door.
Could feel the wave of his unbridled dread crash over me when the female in the door smiled, her eyes flashing and blood-red hair glimmering in the candle light.
“Now look at that…”
My knees dragged over the stone floors as the guards hauled me into the great, cavernous hall, Amarantha sauntering after us, Rhys behind her as he struggled against the males containing him, his teeth bared even as I could feel, smell the panic rolling off of him.
I tried to reach him, but the powers raging under my skin were slowly slipping out of my control, roaring at the way I could feel him struggle.
“Drop her.” Amarantha waved her hand casually, raising her brows as the guards dumped me to the ground in the middle of the hall and turning towards Rhys.
“You know, I really thought you'd have better taste.” Her tone was mocking, her smile amused. “A servant… and a faerie no less.”
Rhys fought against the guards holding him, but I could see the way his movements were restrained, like she was containing him. He looked like he was vibrating with unbridled fury, but there was something burning under the surface as I forced myself to my feet, something that made my heart tighten harshly.
Amarantha tutted softly, smiling widely. Her eyes raked over Rhys' face, and they sharpened. Then she raised a brow.
“Oh.”
Something skipped high and harsh against my ribs, and one corner of her lips quirked.
“Now that's interesting. Is it possible…” She tipped her head to the side, and Rhys grew rigid.
“You care for her. Oh now, now.” Amarantha laughed, and it rung through the air. “How quaint.” She smiled widely, and it sent a shiver down my spine as her eyes danced.
“The mighty High Lord and the faerie. I wonder…” Sauntering towards me, she reached out, her nails lightly raking over my jaw to tip it up, and I hissed at her, causing her to chuckle.
“Well, she is feisty. Still.” Her head tipped to the side, considering me like prized piece of cattle, and Rhys' struggle grew as she slowly started to smile and raised her brows mildly as she turned to look at him.
“I think you need a reminder who you belong to.”
Moving back, she lightly dipped her head, and someone kicked the back of my legs, causing them to buckle.
Sharp pain shot through my knees when I crashed to the floor, and I could feel my dress shift. Then rough hands pushed me forward and the fabric was ripped open, slipping down my back.
My heart skipped high into my throat, and I tried to reach out on instinct to cover myself, but my wrists were seized, forced away from my body.
I could hear the sound of a struggle, and when my eyes rose, Rhys was trying to tear himself away from the guards holding him, a terrifying snarl on his face. But Amarantha just smiled and placed a finger on her lips.
Iron shackles closed around my wrists, dragging my arms apart until I was kneeling, and my fingers started shaking as I tried to contain the magic brimming under the surface, the golden light trying to break out to rage around me. I forced up my head, and Amarantha raised a brow.
There was movement at the corner of my eye. Then something struck my back with such force, my body was thrown forward.
Burning pain seared over my skin, and a scream forced its way from my throat.
My back arched, trying to twist away, pain pulsing through my body and leaving my muscles trembling, and Rhys roared.
With one mighty rip, he broke away from the guards trying to contain him, but before he could make it even a few feet, Amarantha struck, and Rhys crumbled to the ground.
“No!” I struggled against the iron chains, magic surging under my skin as pressure build behind my eyes and an angry sound ripped from my throat.
“How precious.” Amarantha sounded bored and a little disdainful, waving her hand as she turned away, and two guards grabbed Rhys' arms, dragging him up until he was kneeling, forcing his head up.
He was bleeding, his brow cut, but it was nothing compared to the anguish in his eyes as they found mine, wild and desperate.
Fighting against the tug in my chest, I squeezed my burning eyes shut for a second before opening them again, staring at him as my body trembled.
“I,”, my voice broke with strain, “can take it.”
Amarantha chuckled. “Oh dear.”
Another hit struck my back, the whip slashing the air and through my skin, and a low scream tore from my throat. Tears brimmed at the corner of my eyes, my breath trembling at the pain pulsing through my back and into my body, and from holding onto the whirling storm in my chest.
“I doubt it.” Amarantha's eyes were glimmering with wicked delight, and as the next lash hit my back, I forced my head up, my body shaking as I gritted my teeth and fought the tears pooling from my eyes as they found the male behind her.
My heart stilled.
Went silent in my chest at the way he stared at me, head pulled back by his hair as the guards forced him to watch, his eyes wide, body rigid like he was gripped in an iron fist. There was something swirling in his gaze, not just anguish; pure torment, and intertwined with it was something else, something that reached so deep, I lost my breath.
No more.
The words seemed to whisper through my mind, through the fog and the pain, growing stronger as the air around me started to flimmer.
No more.
My eyes pierced into Rhys', a tremble going through my body. Then something settled in my chest.
No more.
Golden light bloomed around me as I let go. Allowed the whispers of magic to swarm me, flittering over my back, their whispering touch gentle, and I could feel the wounds close, leaving nothing behind but even skin.
The hum seemed to grow still, until I could feel the power in every inch of my body, pulsing and whirling, and Amarantha's voice reached me, sharp as she called to her guards: “Stop her, now -“
A wave of golden light erupted from my body.
Amarantha and the guards holding me got ripped off their feet, flung through the air, the males crashing into the walls as Amarantha slammed into the steps of the dais.
And as the ground started to tremble, the mountain itself rumbling like thunder, the shackles fell of my wrists and I pushed myself to my feet, golden swirls of magic building around me like a hurricane as rage carried me.
The doors flew open as guards streamed in, dozens and dozens more, barking orders as they took position and advanced, and power surged through my body.
The ground shook, then thick vines bursted from the stone floors. They slithered through the air, wrapping themselves around the guards and flinging them through the room, wrapping them up tight and engulfing them, their screams drowned as they turned into giant trees. Weapons turned into slithering branches, closing around their owner's arms and throats, armor grew green moss like treebark as I dodged a sword blow in a swift movement. Arrows flying at me turned into bursts of petals as I dove and slipped the guard's sword out of his hand, slashing it over his throat in one precise movement, and another wave of magic pulsed through my body, sending a wave that tore the remaining guards off their feet, swords and armor clattering when they crashed into the walls and onto the floors.
Raising my head, I felt the light around me flimmer, illuminating the sword in my hand for another moment as I slowly straightened, power surging through my body as the golden whisps began to disperse and I felt my breath again, quick and heavy. Something flickered in my chest when my gaze darted over the throne room, trees growing from stone floors, their branches stretching high up the cavernous ceiling, petals drifting over the ground and unconcious guards strewn across the floor.
The rage in my chest slowly washed away, a deep exhale leaving me, and looking over my shoulder, I felt something rise in my chest.
Rhys was still kneeling on the ground, having caught himself as the guards holding him had been torn across the room. His eyes were wide as his gaze darted over the hall, then they found mine, and something skipped so harshly into my throat, I lost my breath.
Rhys was staring at me like I had ripped open the mountain to show him the stars.
Something rose in my chest, fluttering like a hurricane, and turning around, I quickly stepped over a guard's legs and held out a hand, pulling him to his feet.
Slowly straightening, Rhys stared down at me, and his eyes began to shine in a way that made my breath catch.
There was a light flash of silver from the corner of my eye. I turned my head, and for a moment, time slowed.
Without thinking, I moved, the sword slipping from my hand and clattering to the ground as my fingers closed around Rhys' elbows and dragged him with me as I turned, turned until he was facing the dais and I was in the way, the way of –
Sharp pain struck my back.
I could feel my eyes widen, how time staggered just like my heart when hot, all consuming pain slowly spread from a point somewhere right beneath my shoulder blades. Then my eyes found Rhys', and the way he stared at me, his eyes growing wide, made time fall back into place.
My knees toppled lightly when pain crashed over me like a tidal wave, and Rhys dove forward to catch me. His pupils were blown wide as a wave of panic washed over me that wasn't my own, terrifying and mindnumbing as his hands frantically moved over my body, gripping my hips, pushing up my chin.
The pulsing pain from my back seemed to slowly consume my body, and my heart stuttered.
“No.” Rhys' voice ripped its on wound through my chest, disbelieving, hollow and horrified. His eyes darted over my face, all the color draining from his features, but he looked a bit blurred, like he was drifting away from me. I tried to grab at his chest, my movements strangely slow.
“Go.” My voice sounded strained to my own ears, but I forced myself to focus on Rhys' face, trying to fight past the pain the look on his face caused in my chest. His brows twitched as his eyes, panicked and frantic, darted over my face, and I pressed: “Get. Her.”
Rhys stared at me. Then something shifted in his eyes, beginning to glow, and his head rose, a terrifying growl rumbling from his chest.
“You.”
His hands slipped away from my arms and I could feel him move past me, something skipping high in my chest as I staggered lightly, dropping to my knees.
Forcing myself to straighten, I tried to suppress a whimper when I reached my hand up my back, twisting and feeling a rough sound built in my throat at the pain the movement sent cursing through my body.
My fingers slipped over something cold, and with a pressed sound, I pulled the blade out of my body. It clattered onto the stone, and the floor swayed under my knees when for a second, all I could see were black spots dancing before my eyes as something hot ran over my pulsing back.
Behind me, I heard the sound of fighting, snarls that made the hairs at the back of my neck rise, and I forced my head up to look over my shoulder. My vision swam, and my breath stilled when I heard the sound of a body hitting the ground heavily, heart rising into my throat as my eyes focused.
Rhys was kneeling on the ground before Amarantha, a sword pressed against the back of his neck as she snarled at him, hands curled into his hair, forcing his head back. I could see the fight in the strain in his shoulders, like he was battling her in his mind, but his body was trembling.
“Oh, I do like you on your knees.” Amarantha bared her teeth, and something shifted in my chest, blooming into a soundless roar as I pushed myself to my feet.
My fingers closed around the hilt of the sword I had dropped, the heavy blade beginning to glow in my grip, and Amarantha raised her head and scoffed.
“Don't be ridiculous.” She snarled as she stepped away, Rhys caught frozen, limbs trembling in a vain effort to free himself. “I posses the powers of all the High Lords of Prythian. No iron, no steel can defeat me, not even your powers. I have killed Fae for centuries.” Her eyes flickered over me, her lips curling. “You're no match for me, little faerie.”
Golden whisps of magic began to rise around me, the branches of the trees growing out of the stone rustling with a harsh wind, the vines creaking as they slithered, bowing into my direction as I walked towards Amarantha, magic beginning to grow under my skin until I could feel it glow.
I deflected the first blow of Amarantha's sword as it came crashing down, the force making the mountain rumble. Then I swerved to the right, blade slashing through the air as the space around us started to vibrate with power and my sword began to shine brighter and brighter.
“Give up!” Amarantha's voice shook the hall like thunder. “You'll never defeat me, you're a faerie, you'll just -”
My heart rose, and the mountain sang.
When my next blow came crashing down, it splintered Amarantha's sword in two with a blast of golden power. She dropped the useless hilt, eyes growing wide as her head whipped up, and my sword sank into her chest, deeper and deeper until we were face to face.
"I'm not just any faerie,”, I whispered.
A surge of power rippled through the air when I pulled the sword from Amarantha's chest, and I could feel the wards trembling. Then they shattered, the whole mountain groaning as I whirled around and swung the sword, the blade whizzing through the air and cleanly cutting off Amarantha's head.
Blood spattered, and with a thud, the female's lifeless body dropped to the ground.
Breathing heavily, I straightened, and my sword clattered as it hit the floor. The golden shimmer around me pulled back into my body, and suddenly, the world tilted.
My knees gave out, and I would have crashed down the steps if I hadn't been caught, arms wrapping around me and a familiar scent washing over me, causing my heart to jump weakly against my ribs.
I thought I heard a voice, deep and familiar and utterly panicked, calling my name as a warm hand closed around the side of my face, shaking me. But my lids were suddenly heavy, blinking becoming harder with the second. My body felt a bit like it was beginning to float; no more pain, only a strange, calm feeling, my limbs too heavy to move.
Through the fog, I heard the voice, thick and trembling, words not quite reaching me. Then something warm pressed against my temple, nudging my cheek.
“Stay with me.”
Stay with me.
My eyes opened with a flutter, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
My gaze was blurry at first, but I thought I saw a high ceiling, far above me, the branches of trees, and felt arms holding me, propping me up against a warm, solid body that suddenly grew rigid.
Blinking, I breathed out before letting my head slowly roll to the side, and my eyes met another pair.
My heart skipped softly against my ribs at the sight of violet, mixed with starlight in eyes gleaming with tears, widening when they found mine as their owner became completely still.
I blinked, feeling slowly seeping back into my body, and a small sound broke from the back of my throat.
“Ow,”, I mumbled softly.
Rhys stared at me. Stared from shimmering eyes that were blown wide, wet tear tracks on his cheeks. His hand cradling my jaw was trembling, and something shifted gently in my chest at the way he seemed to fight for air. Then he blinked, and the tears in his eyes welled as his lips curved and a sobbed laugh left him, deep and shaking my body as Rhys dropped his head, his arms slipping around me until he was clinging to me, holding me to his chest as he pressed his nose against my temple.
I could feel his shuddering exhale, and how tears began to soak my hair, and something rose in my chest, fluttering wildly as it surged and pressure built behind my eyes, my fingers trembling as I curled them into his arm holding me.
Rhys' grip tightened, then he lightly pulled back his head. His hand slipped to rest against the side of my neck, and my breath hitched, stumbling until it stilled when he slowly started to smile at me. Smiled brighter and brighter, wide and radiant until deep creases formed in his cheeks and his violet eyes twinkled like a sky full of stars, and his voice was quiet and a bit hoarse when Rhys whispered thickly: “Hello, starshine.”
Stepping out into the cool morning air, I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes for a second.
My body was still aching a little, my head thrumming, but it was duller now, like it was slowly ebbing away. The magic under my skin was no longer raging and whirling, instead buzzing softly from the healing I had done in the past few hours, Fae and faeries alike.
The wards had come down, the second Amarantha had died. Shortly after, the doors to the hall had burst open, and Rhys had gripped me tighter when all the High Lords had stormed inside, their newly returned powers thrumming just like the one's of the male holding me.
He had reluctantly left me alone, only after several insurances that I was fine and some mild teasing threats, his swagger returning to him as his mask slipped into place as he had joined the High Lords standing over Amarantha's body, her severed head turned towards the ceiling, her eyes staring lifelessly into the air.
Dropping my shoulders and stretching them slowly, my skin tingled gently right under my shoulder blades, and like instinct, I reached back, twisting my arm until I could brush my fingers over the spot where only a few hours ago, a dagger had nearly, maybe taken my life.
The skin was soft there now, and unblemished, as Rhys had showed me with a quick glimpse into my head.
Like there had never been any wound in the first place.
Letting my arm fall back to my side, I breathed out again before turning, and my heart did a soft skip when my gaze landed on the familiar male a bit away, standing on a ledge, head tipped back as he stared up at the sky that was slowly turning from a pale blue into a soft pink.
My heart skipped, and I hesitated for a second, then I carefully stepped onto the big ledge and softly called: “Rhys?”
My quiet voice carried through the cool air, and when he looked over his shoulder, my chest tightened harshly.
Tears were streaming over his face, his eyes shimmering as they reflected the sky, and I moved, darting towards him and stretching to slip my arms around his shoulders.
Rhys breathed out with a shudder, and his hands closed around my waist, pulling me tightly into his chest. Then he turned his head and buried his face in the crook of my neck. I could feel his tears drip onto my skin as soundless sobs left his body trembling, and my heart tightened harshly as my eyes welled.
Quickly pressing my nose against his shoulder, I let his pain wash over me, my chest aching as tears trickled over my cheeks and I buried my fingers in his hair.
By the time Rhys' sobs had faded away and the tears on my shoulder had dried as he just held me, the sun had started to rise on the horizon.
Carefully pulling back a bit, I looked up at him, finding his eyes already on my face, raw with emotion I couldn´t quite decipher.
“Go home,”, I whispered softly, and a shudder went through Rhys' body, his hands tightening their grip around my waist for a moment.
His eyes searched mine, then he blinked.
“Come with me.”
I blinked, feeling my lips part in surprise as I stared up at him. There was no hesitation in his eyes, no doubt, nothing. Just something that looked a bit like a soft, feverish plea.
I blinked, and warmth slowly spread through my body, something closing gently around my throat.
“I can't,”, I mumbled, and Rhys' grip loosened, causing me to quickly curl my fingers into his shirt.
“No, I just,”, I huffed a little, frowning at him, "not yet." Breathing out, I tipped my head to the side and sent him a soft, helpless smile. “There are still so many in there who need my help. And in the courts. I can't just –“
Rhys exhaled, and my heart skipped into my throat when he dropped his head to rest his forehead against mine, his hands gently closing around my waist.
“You're awfully inconsistent, you know that?”, he whispered, and his rough voice sent a soft tingle over my skin. “You claim to not like the High Fae, and yet, you're still helping them.”
“I know.” I gently tapped my finger against his chest. “I mean, I constantly help you, what's that all about?"
Rhys huffed, and I grinned lightly before pulling back and mumbling: “They've suffered enough for a while.”
Rhys blinked, and his eyes moved over my face, something beginning to glow gently in his iris.
“Promise that when you're finished, you'll come to Velaris.”
Staring up at him, I felt my heart flutter genly against my ribs. Then I blinked and slowly smiled, soft and cheeky.
“I promise.”
Rhys' eyes flickered over mine, and something tightened in my chest, my heart skipping when I quickly said: “Promise you'll find me if you need me?”
The male's gaze moved over my face, and slowly, one corner of his lips rose, just the tiniest bit.
“Promise,”, he mumbled, his deep voice sending a soft tingle down my spine, and I breathed out, a weight slipping from my shoulders.
For a second, I stared up at him, then, before I could stop myself, I stretched to press my lips onto his cheek.
Rhys' grip around me tightened, and my heart rose into my throat when I allowed myself to linger for just a second. Then I let myself sink back to the ground, and my breath hitched when Rhys dropped his head like he was trying to follow me.
The male blinked and slowly straightened again, staring down at me, a look in his eyes that made my chest squeeze gently.
Slowly, I took a step backwards, sending him a soft, crooked smile as I lightly poked his ribs.
“Go.” Warmth spread through my chest as I raised my brows. “They've been waiting long enough.”
Rhys exhaled, a weight seeming to slip from his shoulders, and I turned around. I could feel his eyes track me as I made my way back towards the entrance in the mountain.
When I looked back before stepping through, he was gone like the night breeze.
@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @stayinglow-exploringworlds @tcris2020
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yazthebookish · 2 months
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I avoid talking about the other ship specifically but I feel like letting my thoughts out on some arguments I see sometimes. Not that I have any interest in engaging in any discourse with the other side but it's my page so I can post whatever I feel like posting.
"Gwyn's purpose in the bonus chapter is to hint at her Lightsinger powers"
Okay, so you think one of the most important points about the bonus chapter is to prove Gwyn has luring powers so my question is what are the implications of that? Her drawing Azriel away from Elain? Azriel and Elain exposing her true powers in front of everyone to reveal she is the reason she's been keeping them apart? She is being manipulated by Merrill and Koschei? She has powers she's using unknowingly and can't control them so she'll need Az and Elain to help her?
You're setting up Gwyn to be prominent in an Azriel/Elain book because of her powers, so will they spend time dealing with other plotlines or mainly focus on Gwyn? Because that kind of thing definitely needs resolution since it directly impacts Nesta and the Valkyries dynamic.
So do Azriel and Elain's fantastic romance needs another female character to be used as a scapegoat to pin all their issues on her because the bonus chapter wasn't a good look on them? Or simply because his scene with Gwyn and with Clotho ended on a hopeful note than his scenes with Elain and Rhysand?
Gwyn is an irrelevant character and serves Nesta's story only.
But your argument is she has luring powers and is using them on Azriel, so will that go unaddressed? Then why would SJM throw hints about her powers if it won't mean anything?
Gwyn was used just as a marketing ploy in the bonus chapter.
She's considered a new character and no one knew she was in Azriel's bonus chapter and the bonus chapter was strictly advertised to be focused on Azriel, please be serious.
The bonus chapter is irrelevant.
The author confirmed she planted things in it specifically and in ACOSF in relation to Azriel so I would disagree. The great "forbidden romance" trope wouldn't exist without it and Azriel and Elain spoke to each other more in the bonus chapter than they ever did in the main book, I can pin-point the scene where they speak to each other only ONCE in a 800+ page book and it was about Nesta dancing with the Duke.
Gwyn has powers.
She's Fae of course she has powers but why is the immediate assumption that her powers are nefarious? She didn't harm any character and there was zero hints of her having any bad intentions towards anyone. She deals with survivor's guilt and her trauma, but she had many opportunities to let that evil secret side show but it never did. Why? Because she's obviously not set up to be an evil character or even one with questionable intentions. This is the same character who was ready to sacrifice herself to save her friends and stood by Nesta to face hateful males who wanted to k*ll them.
She's a Lightsinger.
Pretty easy to debunk because there is no correlation based on what we know and we never even see any Lightsingers. Even if she happens to be one, I believe it'll play out way differently than what some people try to push. And come on, Lightsinger and Shadowsinger? You think SJM wouldn't go for that dynamic? But for now I disagree with it since canon tells us they're monsters who k*ll for sport and Gwyn does none of that. Even if she had other different powers that are not wholly good, it's not a point of concern because many characters have questionable powers that did not erase the fact that they were good characters. It's like people never read fantasy books with characters who had dark powers but it didn't corrupt them, for some reason there's an insistence that Gwyn already caused harm despite the serious implications of having a character who is SA victim portrayed as someone luring other people against their will.
Azriel ended up at the library because Gwyn was singing during the service.
1. Clotho is seen at the service, so her being at her desk when Azriel shows up at the library is a good hint that the services didn't start yet.
2. For a singing power to work, the victim should be able to hear the singing and Azriel made no note of any singing at the library.
3. The image he sees of Gwyn's joy didn't pop up randomly, it was triggered by Clotho after she thanks him for the joy the gift will bring her and tells him that Gwyn deserves something as beautiful as this.
The shadows stay around him because they sense a threat but she's luring them.
How is she luring them when she's not even singing if it's been established that her singing has powers? Also, that statement contradicts what's in the text because the shadows were curious at start of the scene and by the end they were described to have calmed and were content to watch Gwyn. In ACOSF, they were seen dancing around Az when Gwyn addresses him.
Nesta reacted to Gwyn's singing the same way Azriel did.
Context matters and a lot of arguments that support this statement are always taken out of context. Nesta loves music so if she is going to admire Gwyn's beautiful voice, it'll be simply for that and nothing more.
There is no way to 100% pin point what caused Nesta to have visions of the Prison during the services but it doesn't only have to be Gwyn's singing but also the lyrics which were found under Level Seven and are written in an ancient language. When Nesta gets the vision she says she can visualize what the song spoke of, meaning the song itself could be talking about story of the Prison/Land of Dusk.
"But Azriel's shadows reacted to her singing"
— "How was the party?" Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music.
Silent music, not singing. Not song. Just like how Hunt mentioned hearing some beautiful music between his and Bryce's souls. Just like how Nesta and Cassian when they consummated their bond heard the music between their souls. Strong sign of Mateism friends.
"But Azriel still heard a beautiful singing, not just music."
— Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer.
Could she be singing? Maybe though unlikely since she returned to training to cut the ribbon right after he left. If she did, maybe the shadows like her voice? Maybe that's a sign they're fond of her? And if it's not maybe that's another sign that the singing they're hearing is the mating bond, which was once described as the Song of the Soul.
The Shadows having a reaction to singing isn't necessarily a bad sign, we saw them dance to Azriel's humming in HOFAS.
Gwyn returned to the library, her story is over.
I have to assume you haven't read ACOSF or skimmed it if that's the conclusion you came to, because there were clear signs that not only Gwyn but Emerie have ongoing journeys and they will leave where they are right now to see the world outside. Gwyn literally states at around the 70%-80% mark that she's sick of staying in the library for two years and wants to leave. She returned to the library because that's her current residence and where she works, it's not like she'll immediately move out right after facing the Blood Rite. This is one argument I can't take seriously because it clearly contradicts what canon points out and I think it's mostly out of convenience to invalidate any discussions about her healing journey and incomplete arc.
Casual readers don't even ship Azriel and Gwyn and have no knowledge about the bonus chapter
A lot of casual readers do in fact see a potential in Azriel and Gwyn as a romantic pairing because they have canon interactions in ACOSF. Plenty of readers shipped them even before they read the bonus chapter. Casual readers are dismissed when they address that and are claimed to be hardcore shippers that hate Elain when it's not the case since they just point out what they think is the obvious in the book to them. Every casual reader will have a different opinion but for some reason if theirs is not in favor of Elain and Azriel, they'll be dismissed so that says much.
Just a hot take that I wanted to put out there since I'll be avoiding fandom discourse moving on (unless I feel like it Lol).
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