#one of which I can only tolerate in cooked dishes

[hazbinfallinginaspiral]

Could we get a fic where Retro's sick?

I feel like after Retro came into the Vees' lives that the trio would basically forget how to do the tasks Retro took over and enter full blown panic mode if Retro ever got sick.

Not a fic, but here’s some ideas as to how it’d go!

-When Retro gets sick, they are dying from like, everything. Remember, sea bunnies have high tolerance to poisons toxins, and I’m pretty sure, germs. Like everything else with Retro, it doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s bad.

-they are super sensitive to everything. From touch, to sound, to smell, taste and seeing. The lights have to be dim.

-they hate bright lights (Vox has to dim his screen and Val’s not allowed to bring a lamp) silence will probably lead to crying, they’ll need some background noises. Static or ambience will do the trick.

-above all else? They cannot be trusted to be left alone.

-Retro wants food, but their stomach hurts. They specifically want the food that only they can cook, so they can’t even have the food they’re craving because they can’t cook because they’re sick.

-they want cuddles, hugs, and kisses but can’t have any because touching them is the equivalent to touching an actual sea bunny- which means you’ll be poisoned. Vox is the only one who’s immune because he’s biomechanical.

-They sleep walk and hum a bit, which terrifies Valentino. They’ll wander around and try to clean, but it’s just a bunch of stumbling and half hearted tunes. They try to take a shower but can’t manage on their own and end up calling Vox in for back up (He’d be watching the cameras in their room and realize when they’ve been in there for too long)

-Retro will probably be very clingy and whiny, on the verge of tears at all times. They want love and affection but they can’t have it! They just want love and snuggles. Being sick sucks.

-Alastor comes over when he finds out, much to Voxs dismay. He cooks, gets Niffty to help clean (Val is stuck in Voxs office, or leaves the tower altogether, trying to avoid her wrath) and Alastor stays with Retro a good amount of the time. He plays little show tunes and sets up a radio in their room so they always have some music or white noise to keep them company if he isn’t around.

-Vox visits as often as he can manage, trying to soothe Retro. He sings little lullabies sometimes, giving them little kisses and assuring them it’ll be okay.

-Retro likes the hum of Voxs TV static (and the noises his TV head makes in general) better than the same tunes playing on the radio on repeat. They’re grateful that Alastor is helping and was thoughtful enough to gift it to them, but the sound of Voxs static is more familiar and comforting to them.

-Velvette gets stuck with laundry, and she soon realizes why Retro is always complaining about Val’s outfits. She’s also very stressed and panicked and constantly asking Vox how Retro is holding up.

-Val is in charge of cooking and doing dishes, when Alastors not around. There are notably fewer glasses broken than usual when he’s cooking, since he’s making an attempt to keep calm and quiet so Retro can rest.

-Vox doesn’t take on many more responsibilities, he’s with Retro most of the time. If he’s forced to actually go to work, he’ll spend the entire time worrying and doing research to find out what he can do to help.

#hazbin hotel #vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #writing #vox x reader #my writing #x reader #thanks anon! #vox fanfiction #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel valentino #valentino x reader #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette #velvette x reader

[theliterarywolf]

Does anyone have those foods that they know how to make, they admire the artistry some people can take with them, but the notion of actually eating/drinking them makes you want to gag?

One of mine is smoothies.

Know how to make them, love watching people share their recipes and pics, I personally can not stand them.

#it's probably a texture thing #combined with how most of them incorporate banana and acai #one of which I can only tolerate in cooked dishes #and the other I just outright hate

[m1ckeyb3rry]

what it’s like to bring the jjk boys to…have dinner with your family!

ft. fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, gojo satoru, geto suguru, ijichi kyotaka, inumaki toge, itadori yuji, kamo choso, kamo noritoshi, mahito, muta kokichi, nanami kento, okkotsu yuta, panda, ryomen sukuna, todo aoi, yaga masamichi, yoshino junpei, zenin naoya

warnings: not all of these are romantic! reader is lowkey desi coded in some of them. reader is mentioned to have a brother, dogs, aunts/uncles, and cousins in some of them. reader slanders like 75% of the characters. honestly the characters might be ooc too i wrote this two years ago for fun and giggles and just found it again and wanted to post. also tw naoya!

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

Literally perfect

Your parents love him

Your dogs love him

You love him

Was kind of quiet at first but settled in eventually and opened up a bit

Was still kind of reserved but that’s to be expected from him

Your mother found it sweet that he tried to hide behind you when your uncles started interrogating getting to know him 

He let your younger cousins play with his shikigami so that your dogs could get a break from being bothered

Really liked the salad your mother made and asked for the recipe

1000/10 

FUSHIGURO TOJI

Actually not too bad

Was polite enough and liked the food

Showed your parents pictures of Megumi as a baby

They were suitably impressed

Your cousin asked him where he goes to the gym

He told him he doesn’t believe in gyms (thinks they’re oppressive institutions designed to disadvantage the poor?)

Did give him a discount code for some random protein powder that he’s sponsored by though

Asked your parents to donate to his charity

They were happy to do so and thought it was amazing that he has a charity

You decided not to tell them that his “charity” is literally just his bank account

4/10 for scamming your family

GOJO SATORU

Solid 7/10

Goofs around a lot but he did come so he gets points for that

Your parents hated him at first but then he showed them the album of cute Megumi pictures he has saved on his phone and they switched up

“He’s so responsible for raising a kid so young! And it’s not even his!”

Bullshit

He does NOT raise Megumi and you were the one who sent him half of those pictures 

Demoted to a 6/10 just for that but at least your parents like him

Also the fact that he had an album was cute

Somehow managed to keep the dirty jokes to a minimum

Your brother kept making fun of his eyes being so blue so halfway through he had to switch the glasses out for the blindfold

Surprisingly high spice tolerance

GETO SUGURU

Honestly really a fun guy!

Actually brought his own dish to the dinner??

AND IT WAS GOOD????

Your mother wants you two to get married now

Asked if he could take some leftovers back for Mimiko and Nanako

Which was very considerate of him actually

Your mother told him he didn’t have to return the dishes she packed the food in

Let your brother win at Scrabble

Listened to your mother talk about the auntie drama

Apparently he’s going to start putting coconut oil in his hair now

Your parents are going to adopt him and kick you out

9/10 would’ve been higher but he didn’t beat your brother’s ass at Scrabble (he wanted to “make a good impression”)

IJICHI KYOTAKA

Similar to Nanami in that he and your father got along really well

Your brother called him “goofy”

He had to go to the bathroom and cry after that

He did compose himself and came back to eat

Can handle spicy food quite well

Complimented your mother’s cooking

Brought flowers as a thank you for the dinner

Was super sweet and grateful to be invited at all

11/10 would definitely invite him again

INUMAKI TOGE

Everyone was really excited to meet him

Let your cousins play with his hair and do his make up and paint his nails

Was your partner for Charades and you two won by a LOT

Kept sneaking treats to your dogs

Your mother ordered seafood for him because he could only speak in rice ball ingredients and she thought he really wanted salmon

He did eat it though

He would be a 10/10 but he accidentally used his Cursed Speech on your aunt so 8/10

ITADORI YUJI

Somehow lit the grill on fire

Managed to put it out but he did lose his eyebrows in the process unfortunately

Looked stupid without eyebrows

Spent most of his time hanging out with the little kids

Your family actually really liked him though

He’s too sweet to dislike

Helped wash the dishes and did not break any

7/10 because you almost had to call the fire department

KAMO CHOSO

Showed up an hour late

Was friendly but kinda nervous and awkward at first

Loved the food

He and your brother are best friends now

Genuinely he gets along better with your brother than with you

Impressed your father with his history knowledge

3/10 was too perfect and now your parents keep asking why you’re not more like him

KAMO NORITOSHI

He hates kids

Spent the entire first half running away from your cousins

Once he finally escaped he got along great with the adults

They really liked how responsible and mature he is

Thought it was impressive that he’s going to be the clan head

Your aunt told you that he was a keeper and you should “marry for money, hope for love”

Started crying when your mother asked him if she could hang up his jacket for him

It reminded him of his own mother who he was forced to leave as a kid 

All of your aunts have unofficially adopted him now due to his tragic backstory

Deserves 10/10 just for being relatively normal 

MAHITO

-892378/10 your parents couldn’t see him because he’s a curse

He was very happy to hear that and nearly destroyed your house

You had to call Geto halfway through to chase him off

Your family was thrilled to see Geto again though so at least there’s that??

MUTA KOKICHI

Sent a robot in his place obviously

Everyone wanted to know why you brought a robot to dinner

They thought you had hit a new low

You had to explain that Mechamaru was basically his body because of how weak his actual body was

Nobody believed you

-3/10 he was nice but it was overall a humiliating experience

NANAMI KENTO

Cannot eat anything spicy

Started tearing up at the appetizers alone

Had a massive stomach ache afterwards and his face was red for like twenty minutes 

Your father liked talking to him about business and the economy and shit

Did not get scared when asked about his plans for the future

Actually has plans for the future

Your brother is kind of gay for him tbh (??) and threatened to marry him if you don’t 

10/10 because he still finished everything on his plate so he didn’t seem rude even though he was lowkey dying 

OKKOTSU YUTA

Tried his best

Your dogs tried to leave with him because they liked him so much

He brought gifts from Africa for your entire family

Did stop a toddler from getting kidnapped

Is physically really good at grilling but emotionally cannot handle the stress

Had a mental breakdown when you asked for a vegetable burger

Made the discovery that he really likes corn and proceeded to eat all of the corn you had bought for the night so nobody else got any 

Summoned Rika and allowed your cousins to use her as their dress up doll

Rika was very nice and enjoyed the experience

She wants to be a fashion model now

2/10 he burnt your vegetable burger and you were really looking forward to having some corn

PANDA

Is a panda

Your younger cousins thought he was adorable

You got asked multiple times if he was a furry

5/10 he was only invited because he had nothing else to do and you had to chase him with a hose beforehand because he refused to bathe

RYOMEN SUKUNA

-1244129/10

An asshole but what’s new 

Told your family to “go back to where you came from”

Degraded your parents

Degraded you

Degraded everyone really

You got into a fight with him and Gojo had to intervene

Did ask for one of your mother’s recipes so he could get Uraume to cook it for him

She did not give it to him

TODO AOI

See you thought this would be hell on earth

But it wasn’t???

Played with your dogs

Carried your cousins around on his shoulders

Your uncles were impressed by his muscles

He saved a kitten that was stuck in a tree

Did not ask a single person about their type in women

Annihilated everyone in Wii Sports Resort

Absolutely sucked at Just Dance though

He thought he was too manly for the wrist strap but then he threw the remote into the TV while playing Wii bowling and it broke

6/10 he said he’d pay for a new one

YAGA MASAMICHI

Literally your boss

Only invited him because you wanted a raise

He liked the food

Exchanged sewing tips with your mother

200/10 you got the raise

YOSHINO JUNPEI

Really cool!

Gave everyone good movie recommendations

Someone gave him a baby to hold and he nearly dropped it

Burnt his hand on the grill

Found your uncles’ shitty jokes funny so they all liked him

He was decent at debating with everyone and having intellectual conversations even though he cried whenever someone disagreed with him too harshly

Your parents were very dismayed to see the cigarette burn scars on his face

Your mother told him he could always come to your house if he needed to

4/10 because he almost gave a baby brain damage 

ZENIN NAOYA

Told your parents about your sex life

Called your mother “woman”

Your cousins have a crush on him solely based on his looks

He thinks he has a harem now

0/10 they are all like 13 years old

#megumi x reader #toji x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #ijichi x reader #inumaki x reader #itadori x reader #choso x reader #noritoshi x reader #mahito x reader #mechamaru x reader #kokichi x reader #nanami x reader #yuuta x reader #panda x reader #sukuna x reader #todo x reader #yaga x reader #junpei x reader #naoya x reader #tw naoya #reader insert #headcanons #m1ckeyb3rry writes #this is actually so dumb #LMAO #various x reader

[ja3yun]

The Doll House | Sim Jaeyun

doll!jake x fem!reader warnings: fluff, smut (mdni), subby!jake, oral (m. rec), creampie, slight throat fucking, whimpering and whining, pet names (baby doll, pup), begging, anything else lmk! wc: 7.7k synopsis: it's your first week at your new job and you make a shocking revelation that puts your world in a spin and lets you experience something you never knew was possible masterlist | sunghoon a/n: hi! this is the first part of a 4-part series! again, i need to thank the requester for this because i am having so much fun writing it <3 the plot and everything will be gradually laced within each chapter so, while they can stand alone, it's best to read them all. thank you for everything and as always, likes, reblogs, feeback is all welcome!

p.s, please read the intro it sets up the whole story so you guys know how y/n got there and who soonyeol is.

You've been inside this home for exactly 42 hours and 51 minutes and surprisingly nothing significant has happened.

The silence surrounding the mansion is unexpectedly comforting, providing a much-needed respite from the hectic city life you've despised. The constant noise - whether it's the cries of babies, the grumbles of angry men, or the blasting car horns powered by thoughtless road rage - has progressively worn on your tolerance. No one talks about how exhausting it all is.

Maybe this is why people go on holiday, you wonder. Even though you're here for work, there's a sense of relaxation in the air that leaves you feeling peaceful. 

Before Soonyeol went on her ominous business trip, she left you a binder full of strict instructions on how to mind her house. It’s packed to the brim with dos and don'ts such as; cooking exactly 4 meals for the dolls at 5.30pm, placing them around the dining table, and never entering their rooms unless transporting them to their recreational activities. 

Each doll had their own rigorous routine, with some reading, some playing the guitar, and so on. Soonyeol made it clear that sticking to these routines is a must, which included the difficult chore of physically changing the towering dolls in the morning and before bed. They weren’t exactly hollow or porcelain, they were super realistic, their skin had some form of heat to it, and they had some weight to them but not as heavy as they first appeared. You had asked Soonyeol what they were made of but she brushed your question off, leaving you even more curious, the only conclusion you could come up with was sandbags or clay.

Currently, you are in the kitchen, cooking up a meal that none of them will touch. Of course, you didn’t expect them to chow down on your homemade lasagna considering they couldn’t even move their mouths, but seeing everything laid out and untouched after you give them exactly 35 minutes to eat (a rule in that godforsaken binder), it fills you with a sense of unease.

Within the mansion's walls, time seems to grind to a halt unless you make it move, you as the sole animate presence amidst the silence. 

You bring the plated food into the dining room, placing a dish in front of each doll. Despite the absurdity of the situation, you play along dutifully, conscious of Mia's warning that the dolls may be rigged with hidden cameras. To be fair, their eyes do seem to follow you, or perhaps that was just your imagination.

“This is such a waste of food,” you scoff, placing the last plate down to the doll with freckles on his face who is labelled in the binder as Sunghoon. You can’t help but think about all the food that is being wasted when there are people still relying on food banks, it makes you bubble with anger, yet, you’re the one doing it. You could easily just not feed them and just pretend to Soonyeol you did, but again, the eyes that surround the castle could be the difference between you keeping this job and going back home with nothing.

Soonyeol could easily fire you if it got back to her you starved her precious babies while she was gone, and that £5,000 is enough money to get you by while you look for another job, so you’ll do as you’re told for now.

With a resigned sigh, you wipe your hands on your apron and offer a forced smile to the lifeless dolls, "Enjoy," you mutter sarcastically, before turning on your heel and retreating from the room, leaving them to their silent feast.

“Thank you!” 

The words catch you off guard, freezing you mid-step. Did you actually just hear that? Slowly, you spin on your heel, astonishment written over your face. There they sit, precisely as you left them, their expressions the same as before. Yet, undoubtedly, the voice came from their direction.

Narrowing your eyes in suspicion, you examine them closely, your fingers poking Sunghoon’s shoulder to try and elicit any response, but one never comes. 

You could have sworn you heard a voice, a soft accent drifting into your ears. It’s not like it could have been the TV or radio, Soonyeol was lacking in the entertainment department, opting for more classic ways to entertain herself like board games and books.

"This place is making me lose my mind," you scoff, disbelief mingling with a nervous laugh. You are officially losing the plot, thinking the dolls can suddenly speak. What’s next, they’ll suddenly get up and help you with the dishes?

Maybe you just need to go for a walk around the mansion, touch some grass or whatever. Your mind needs some nature to set itself straight. With a final incredulous glance at the dolls, you shake your head, dismissing your fanciful worries. 

Stepping into the garden, you're greeted by the warmth of the summer sun kissing your skin. The sprawling lawn stretches for acres, overgrown yet hinting at hidden beauty beneath the tangled vines and moss-covered statues.

The pathway is clear, giving you a chance to wander further into the field. With some TLC and a green thumb, you ponder whether you could turn this landscape into a true garden, it’s not like there is much else to do, but would Soonyeol be okay with that? Everything else in this house is seemingly stuck in a different century; the large gold-framed portraits, the scatter of porcelain dolls that look like something straight from a horror movie, and the furnishings scream Renaissance. Maybe she prefers it that way.

You are perplexed by the mystery surrounding Soonyeol and her isolated living. A lack of information about her and this home has you grasping at straws. The mansion has no internet or even a good phone service which raises your suspicions about her more. There is only a landline phone that is set to make local calls. All you've learned from this information is why she resorted to placing a job advertisement in the newspaper.

Questions swirl in your mind. Why choose such isolation? Living alone, devoid of company or modern comforts, seems unimaginable. Two months might be tolerable, but for someone to endure years in solitude, it's perplexing. But then again, who are you to judge? She might prefer her own company and God knows there must be a lot less drama.

Lost in thought, you reach out to touch a thorn from a withered rosebush, only to recoil in pain as it pricks your index finger, "Shit!" you shout, instinctively sucking on the wound as blood wells up. Why you felt driven to touch such an obviously dangerous plant escapes you completely.

Sulking back inside the house, you walk directly to the kitchen, the sight of familiar surroundings provides some consolation as you go towards the sink, your injured finger throbbing with each step. Who knew a thorn could cause so much damage?

You reach for the basin and turn on the cold tap, hoping for a little relief. As chilled water falls over your wound, you sigh with relief, the coolness relieving the pain immensely, with a sudden sensation of peace flowing over you. 

The clock's chime breaks through the quiet, jolting you back into reality. It's 6pm so it's time to tend to the dolls again. You reach to get a plaster from the first aid kit, only to find it empty except for a single bandage and some foil blankets. Panic sets in as you examine the seriousness of your bleeding finger; it’s a neverending flow of crimson which only makes you pout, sucking on it once again.

Desperately searching the kitchen cupboards, you find bits of kitchen roll and sellotape. It's not ideal, but you have no other choice. You gently wrap the kitchen roll around your wound, securing it with sticky tape. The improvised dressing will have to suffice; the thought of spilling your blood on Soonyeol's cherished dolls sends chills down your spine. You don't want to think about what she would do.

Stepping into the dining room, you're greeted by the familiar sight: cold food arranged neatly before the four unyielding dolls. Their impassive stares seem to pierce through you, sending a chill down your spine.

With a theatrical pout and arms crossed, you address the silent company, "Didn't quite hit the mark with my culinary masterpiece, huh?" you jest, met only with the silence of inanimate figures. Chuckling to yourself, you gather the untouched plates onto the cart, contemplating a pragmatic solution, "Well, I suppose I could just freeze these and give them to you tomorrow," you quip. Soonyeol said to feed them, she didn’t say it couldn't be the same meal over and over again.

After clearing up the dining hall and putting the meals in the freezer, you make your way to retrieve the rusty wheelchair you are convinced will give you tetanus from the hallway closet. It’s the easiest way to transport the boys from A to B, and you daren’t carry them anywhere in case you drop and smash them. 

As you unfold the chair, a creak reverberates from behind you, causing your muscles to tense involuntarily. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as a chill courses through your veins. While the old house has its usual symphony of creaks and groans, this sound feels different, more sinister, as if someone - or something - is lurking in the shadows.

“Hello?” you say whispering yet not daring to look behind you. If you have learned anything from the multitude of horror movies you’ve watched over the tears, it’s that as soon as you look back, all shit breaks loose.

You stand there with your heart pounding in your chest and you scold yourself inwardly for succumbing to irrational fear, "Come on, Y/N, pull yourself together," you mutter, attempting to rally your nerves. But the silence that follows your whispered reassurance only amplifies the unease settling in the pit of your stomach.

With a resigned sigh, you steel yourself for whatever may lie behind you, “Fuck, Y/N, just turn around. If you’re going to die, you might as well get it over with,” you chide yourself, voice tinged with frustration.

Thinking it’s best to just face whatever your demise is, you swiftly turn around, half-expecting to come face-to-face with some unseen terror. Yet, all that greets you is the empty hallway, bathed in the dim glow of the flickering lights. There's no sign of an intruder, no lurking threat—just the same mundane surroundings you've grown accustomed to.

You never thought you’d think this, but you’re happy to see the tiny collector dolls that line the hallway.

A mixture of relief and embarrassment floods over you as you realize the absurdity of your fears. "God, I'm losing it," you mutter, a manic laugh bubbling up from deep within. With a self-deprecating shake of your head, you lightly slap your forehead with the base of your palm, chastising yourself for letting your imagination run wild.

First, the talking dolls, now this unfounded paranoia—it's becoming increasingly clear that the isolation of this mansion is taking its toll on your sanity. 

Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you shake off the lingering unease and embarrassment to focus on your duties. 

With a determined stride, you make your way back to the dining room, the memory of your brief bout of hysteria fading into the recesses of your mind. You push the wheelchair over to the table to retrieve one of the dolls, however, a glint of blue catches your eye.

A plaster - suddenly, inexplicably there, resting in front of the doll named Jongseong.

Your brow furrows in confusion, disbelief coursing through you. "How... was that there the whole time?" you mutter, disbelief colouring your tone as you glance between your injured finger and the God-sent plaster.

With a mixture of curiosity and trepidation, you reach out to pick up the plaster, examining it closely as if searching for any sign of trickery. But it appears to be nothing more than an ordinary adhesive plaster.

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous," you mutter to yourself, unable to suppress a nervous chuckle. The rational part of your mind insists there must be a logical explanation for the plaster's sudden appearance, but logic seems to have taken a backseat in this peculiar mansion. 

Surely you would have noticed it on the table when you were serving the food…right?

Deciding to set aside your questions for the moment, you carefully retrieve the plaster and apply it to your injured finger, the soothing sensation providing a small measure of comfort.

As you finish tending to your wound, you cast a wary glance at the dolls, half-expecting them to spring to life and offer an explanation. But they remain as silent and motionless as ever, their enigmatic presence only adding to the mystery of this place.

With a resigned sigh, you focus once again on getting the dolls to their rooms. Maybe if they’re out of your sight, you’ll stop conjuring up these ridiculous notions that are swirling in your mind.

“C’mon Jaeyun, let’s get you to bed,” you say softly as you pick him up with a strong heave. The weight of him in your arms is a humbling realisation that you need to start going to the gym more because lifting a doll shouldn’t be this taxing.

Plonking him onto the wheelchair, you begin to make your way to his room. The corridors grow longer each time you make the journey to their respective bedrooms and with the house being the size that it is, transporting them is the equivalent of taking a quick nip to your big Tesco and back.

Finally reaching Jaeyun's room, you turn the ornate handle and push the wheelchair inside. The room is bathed in a soft, amber glow, casting a warm hue over the plush furnishings and intricate decor. With careful precision, you guide Jaeyun onto the bed, taking a moment to study his features up close.

The doll's face, once unsettling in its hyper-realistic detail, now holds a curious fascination. Despite the initial unease you felt in their presence, you can't help but admire the craftsmanship that went into their creation.

Jaeyun's eyes, a rich shade of brown, hold a mesmerising depth that seems to draw you in and they glimmer with an almost golden hue when touched by sunlight, adding a touch of ethereal beauty to his already captivating features. His lips, full and luscious and they evoke sense of envy into you, marvelling at their perfection. His nose, a graceful arc that sits harmoniously amidst his features, only adds to the beauty.

With gentle admiration, you touch his bottom lip with your thumb, amazed at its softness. If Jaeyun were a living, breathing being, you can't help but imagine how irresistible those lips would be, how you would find any excuse to steal a kiss. The feel of his lip beneath your thumb is uncannily real, its texture mirroring your own, and as you release it, it springs back into place as if alive.

Your eyes dart over his face, drinking him in as you fix his long, dark hair, “You’re so beautiful,” you whisper, the words leave your lips almost unintentionally, spoken in peaceful tones as if frightened to disrupt the calm tranquillity of the moment. 

“Thank you.”

Your entire body goes rigid as you hear the same words from the dining table, mirroring the exact accent you had heard before. The hand that had been gently brushing aside the stray strand of hair now drops to your side, your eyes fixed on Jaeyun's mouth as it forms into a bright smile.

As if gasping for air, you stare at him in disbelief, pointing a trembling finger in his direction. "Y-you just spoke!" you manage to exclaim, your words choked with bated breaths. Panic threatens to engulf you as you try to understsnd what is happening.

Your mind races, grasping for something, anything to hold onto as the world spins around you but there's nothing, and your body betrays you, collapsing to the ground in a desperate attempt to escape the surreal nightmare unfolding before you.

With wide, terrified eyes, you watch as Jaeyun moves slightly, preparing yourself for the inevitable scream that threatens to tear from your throat. But before you can utter a sound, he rushes towards you with a look of panic etched on his features.

Jaeyun's eyes are filled with concern as he gazes down at you, his hand covering your mouth to stifle any outcry. With a gentle yet urgent expression, he leans in closer, his lips forming almost silent words as he implores you to remain quiet, “Please. Shhh, I’m sorry!” he says with urgency, trying to stop you from bellowing out and causing alarm.

Your chest rises and falls with the rapid beat of your heart, your head suddenly feels faint and conflicting emotions wash over you. Fear, confusion, disbelief - all vie for dominance as you struggle to make sense of the impossible situation unfolding before you.

With wide, frightened eyes, you stare up at Jaeyun, searching his face for any sign of explanation or reassurance. But all you find is the same look of concern mirrored in his gaze, a silent plea for understanding.

“I promise, I’m not going to hurt you,” he utters, his body now relaxing as he feels your mouth close under his palm, “If I take my hand away, please don’t scream, okay?” 

His words are filled with panic, a frantic attempt to prevent more concern. When you look into his eyes, you can sense the sincerity in his plea, a glimpse of humanity you didn't think was possible.

For a moment, the world seems to stand still, the air thick with tension and uncertainty on both of your parts. But then, with a shaky breath, you nod in silent acquiescence, willing yourself to trust the doll before you. 

Jaeyun’s hand slowly withdraws from your mouth but is still armed in case you fall through on your promise to stay quiet. Once he's satisfied that you won't scream, Jaeyun rises to his feet, offering you a shaky hand. You accept, noting the slight tremor in his grip, evidence that he's just as affected by this inexplicable turn of events as you are.

Standing before him, you can't shake the feeling of disbelief that washes over you. None of this makes sense - talking dolls, moving on their own accord - it's all so implausible, so surreal. And yet, here you are, faced with the undeniable reality of Jaeyun's existence.

"What are you?" you ask tentatively, withdrawing your hand from his as you study him intently, searching for any clues to unravel the mystery.

Jaeyun tilts his head in confusion, his expression mirroring your own bewilderment. "I'm a doll, you know that," he replies matter-of-factly.

"Yes, but how are you moving? How are you speaking? Are you possessed? Alive? Am I dreaming this?" you barrage him with questions, your mind racing with a million possibilities, each more absurd than the last.

“I’m Sim Jaeyun, manufactured in 2002,” Jaeyun says as though it’s so obvious, which to his defence, it is - the stamp on his back that you’ve caught sight of while changing him is proof, "I'm the model made for Australia. G'day mate!" he adds, attempting to inject some levity into the conversation with an exaggerated Australian accent. But his efforts fall flat in the face of your mounting terror and confusion.

"I don't understand," you whisper, your voice trembling with uncertainty, "How is this possible?"

Jaeyun's expression softens, sympathy flickering in his eyes as he meets your gaze, "I wish I had all the answers," he admits, his voice gentle yet tinged with resignation, "But the truth is, even I don't fully understand what's happening to me. I ended up here one day. The others just tell me not to ask questions.”

As Jaeyun's words sink in, a surge of disbelief sweeps over you, threatening to overwhelm you in a sea of bewilderment and despair, "Others? You mean..."

"My brothers, the ones you've been looking after for Soonyeol," Jaeyun says, his voice calm.

The realisation hits you like a tonne of bricks: all four dolls, like Jaeyun, are somehow alive. You've spent the last two days living under the same roof as these living dolls, entirely oblivious of their true selves. The idea of it sends shivers down your spine, and a dreadful feeling rises in the pit of your stomach.

Every creak in the floorboards, every echo in the halls - you had chalked them up to the ageing mansion itself. But now, you realise that they were caused by these living dolls moving about, silently watching and listening to your every move.

You contemplate the idea that you're going insane because the stress and isolation of the mansion have finally taken their toll on your sanity. But deep down, you know that this is far too real to be a figment of your imagination.

Sensing your distress, Jaeyun guides you to sit beside him on the bed, his touch gentle yet strangely disconcerting. A doll is offering you comfort while your mind is in a whirlwind of emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. In what world is any of this normal?

His thumb strokes the back of your hand as you sit in silence. A small smile creeps on his face and a blush somehow paints itself on the apples of his cheeks as he remembers your earlier comments.

“You think I’m beautiful?” he asks gently, drawing you back into reality from the maze of your mind.

“What?”

"You said I was beautiful," he repeats, his tone gentle yet earnest, his eyes filled with a quiet joy. Jaeyun's smile widens slightly, his body shifting to fully face you.

As you finally meet his gaze, the weight of his words settles upon you, and you see just how much your earlier compliment meant to him. The twinkle in his eye reflects a depth of emotion that mirrors that of a human, his happiness evident in the way his features soften and his eyes light up with warmth. If he was beautiful before, he is otherworldly now.

“Yeah…you are,” you confess, now reciprocating his blush.

Jaeyun's hand gently cups your cheek, his touch sending a shiver down your spine and you can't help but feel something blossom within you. His palm, slightly cool against your flushed skin, serves as a reminder of the surreal reality in which you find yourself.

Jaeyun's lips suddenly meet yours, enveloping you with his gentle kiss. Touching his lips earlier paled in comparison to the sensation of his soft, plump mouth moving against yours, and it sends a shiver of pleasure coursing through your veins; for a fleeting moment, you allow yourself to be swept away by the intensity of the moment.

But as reality crashes back down upon you, the weight of what you're doing comes crashing down.

This is a doll, not a real person.

You push Jaeyun away and your mind suddenly clears, “What are you doing, Jaeyun?” you ask both perplexed by his actions and a little disgruntled by yours.

His wide eyes only serve to make you feel guilty, there’s a tinge of hurt in them along with confusion. His hand removes itself from your face, leaving your cheek cold and craving his touch again.

"Soonyeol says I should kiss when I want to show my appreciation," Jaeyun explains, his voice tinged with confusion and a defeated tone that tugs at your heartstrings. It's clear that he's not accustomed to being rejected like this, his owner obviously giving him what he wants.

Now that you think about it, Soonyeol must know they’re real, meaning she has relationships with these dolls. Granted, you figured that out when you were undressing them and saw they are anatomically correct, but now this is a whole new layer. She has formed connections with them that go beyond using the dolls for her pleasure. 

"Isn't it cheating?" you ask, locking eyes with Jaeyun, ignoring your swift realisation of the risk. Those beautiful brown eyes seem to draw you in, inviting you to forget all reason and succumb to the burning need between you.

He shakes his head slowly, a tinge of hesitation in his eyes as he chews his lip, "No. Soonyeol shares us, which means I can be shared. It's how it works," he says, his words laced with desperation as he tries to defend his actions. He knows Soonyeol won’t see it that way, but he needs you for his own selfish pleasure; he can’t wait two months until his minder comes back.

However, the rational half of your mind perks up one last time, refusing to be influenced by Jaeyun's words, forcing you to express the painfully evident reality that lies between you, "You're a doll, Jaeyun," you say, the words thick with reality.

However, as if feeling your wavering resolve, Jaeyun's demeanour changes, his puppy-like appearance giving way to one of mischief and longing. With a sudden boldness, he comes in closer, your noses touching as your breath hits his lips.

"I'm a doll with everything you need," he says seductively, sending shivers down your spine as his luscious lips brush against yours with each syllable. 

Your heart races as Jaeyun's proximity overwhelms your senses. Despite the nagging voice of reason in the back of your mind, you find yourself unable to resist the magnetic pull of his presence.

As Jaeyun leans in for another kiss, his persistence and gentle touch send a rush of heat coursing through your body. You find yourself melting into his embrace once more, unable to resist his lips on yours. His smile against your mouth fills you with something beautiful.

His hand finds your cheek, his touch tender yet possessive as he deepens the kiss, sending your senses reeling. The surreal sensation of his tongue, colder than any other person's you’ve had the pleasure to kiss, intertwining with yours only adds to the intensity of the moment.

But as the kiss grows more passionate, you feel Jaeyun's hands begin to roam, his touch becoming more urgent and insistent. The way he impatiently tugs at the hem of your t-shirt and his hips practically humping the air through desperation, heightens your own arousal.

You draw back, taking your shirt off, giving him what he wants. Jaeyun's eyes light up in delight at the sight before him, his gaze raking over your exposed skin with hunger. Without hesitation, his hand instinctively reaches out to touch you, his fingers grazing over the fabric of your bra as he seeks to explore every inch of your body.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispers, as he stares up at you. You understand why he’s so used to getting his way, that face of his could start wars if he asked. 

With a soft smile, your fingers continuing to thread through his hair with a gentle touch, "Nothing in comparison to you," you confess, your words spoken with genuine admiration.

Jaeyun's response is a soft whimper, his body trembling slightly under your touch as he leans into your caress. It's clear that he thrives on the affection and validation you offer him, cherishing every compliment and sweet gesture. He isn’t going to take control of this situation, he wants you to lead him, to make him feel like he is yours.

And he looks so fuckable right now.

Feeling emboldened by the rush of desire coursing through your veins, you seize the opportunity to take control of the situation. With a newfound confidence, you gently push Jaeyun back onto the bed, straddling him as you hover above.

His eyes widen in surprise, a mix of anticipation and excitement flickering in their depths as he watches you with rapt attention. With a playful glint in your eyes, you lean down to capture his lips in a searing kiss, your hands trailing down his chest and exploring every contour of his body.

Jaeyun responds eagerly, his hands roaming over your back as he returns your kiss with equal fervour. But as the heat between you intensifies, you can sense his longing for more, his desire for you palpable in every touch and caress.

You plaster on a mischievous smile and lean back slightly, teasingly tracing your fingers along the waistband of his pants. He hitches in anticipation, his eyes darkening with desire as he silently urges you to continue.

With deliberate slowness, you begin to unbutton his pants, savouring the feeling of power that courses through you with each movement. As the fabric falls away, you're met with the sight of his cock outline, his arousal evident in the way he strains against the confines of his underwear.

You lean down to press your lips against his neck, trailing soft kisses along his jawline as you whisper in his ear, "Do you want me to look after you, baby doll?"

He mewls out and nods quickly, knowing that is the only thing he needs right now. Your touch is different to Soonyeol’s, yours is filled with a new fire that you’re discovering, while Soonyeol’s is experienced and knows of Jaeyun’s wants and needs. He can’t deny that he feels even more alive than before right now.

Trailing one finger over his clothed cock, you apply pressure as you reach his tip, causing him to whine out. You aren’t typically in charge in the bedroom but you can’t deny how easy it is when Jaeyun is underneath you, silently begging for you to claim him.

You pull down his boxers, seeing his cock in a new light. Honestly, you tried not to stare at it too long when you changed him but you knew whatever Soonyeol had ordered, she ordered it with herself in mind. He was average-sized but curved to the right, meaning he could hit places some others couldn’t; even the thought made your mouth water.

There’s a desire to know how his cock is standing to attention considering there isn’t any blood in his body, but this whole situation defies logic so what’s one more question to add to the pile? All you can really think about is how good having him inside you will feel.

Grabbing his length, you begin to pump him gently, still trying to navigate how fragile he is and how far you can take this. He isn’t made of glass but you still need to be careful. 

His reaction is immediate, his jaw slackening as you pick up the pace, your movements becoming more assured. Jaeyun’s legs kick slightly as his body involuntarily moves under your touch, desperate for more than you’re offering him.

Sensing his need, you lean in and give his cock a teasing lick before spitting on it, slickening the surface to make your motions even smoother. His breath hitches at the sensation, a low groan escaping his lips as he arches into your touch, craving more of the pleasure you're giving him.

With a hunger that matches his own, you release him from your grip and lean down, taking him into your mouth with a slow, deliberate motion. His gasp fills the air as you envelop him, the wet heat of your mouth sending shivers down his spine.

"Y/N..." Jaeyun's voice is barely a whisper, filled with a mix of disbelief and pleasure.

You glance up at him, meeting his gaze with a smouldering intensity before returning your focus to the task at hand. With practiced skill, you move your lips and tongue in tandem, exploring every inch of him with a fervour that leaves him trembling. 

There is an urge to look after him, with each whine and whimper he screeches out in response to your tongue flicking over his tip, you want to cherish him as your own. You carefully watch his face to make sure he is enjoying himself which clearly he is, his eyes screwed shut and chest heaving despite the lack of air.

Pushing his length further into your mouth, you feel the tip of him hit the back of your throat, piercing your tonsils as they involuntarily try to swallow around him. You switch between bobbing your mouth and enveloping his whole cock down your throat, staying there for a moment as you nuzzle your nose against his lower abdomen.

His fingers thread through your hair, a silent plea for more as you continue to lavish attention on him, each suck and swirl of your tongue pushing him closer to the edge of ecstasy.

"Oh god, Y/N," he groans, his voice thick with need. "I-I can't... I'm gonna..."

Can he cum? Like physically, is your mouth about to be filled with doll cum? You’re going to find out eventually.

But who says he can get everything he wants just at the bat of an eyelid?

You pull back slightly, your lips glistening with saliva as you gaze up at him with a wicked grin. "Not yet," you tease, your voice husky from the beating your throat has just taken, "I want to hear you beg for it.”

His eyes widen with anticipation, a need burning in their depths as he watches you, “But Soonyeol always lets me cum,” he pouts, the edges of his mouth drooping down.

“I’m not Soonyeol though, am I?” you retort, your hand stroking him again, “I can stop completely if you want?” 

Jaeyun doesn’t like that idea, shaking his head manically and chanting ‘no’ as he looks at you with pleading eyes. His minder is kind, always giving him the pleasure he needs when he wants it, so this is new to him, yet, he can’t help but find some pleasure in the prolonging of his orgasm.

“Come on, baby doll, beg for it,” you murmur against his tip, looking up at him through hooded eyes as you tease the tip of his cock.

His breath catches in his throat at your words, his mind a haze of desire as he struggles to find his voice, "Please, Y/N," he gasps, his voice thick with need, "Please let me cum. I need it, I need you so bad."

The desperation in his voice and his tiny weeps send a shiver down your spine, and with a satisfied smirk, you relent, taking him fully into your mouth again. 

You aren’t like this in bed but he just manages to bring out this side of you and you can’t complain about it. 

As Jaeyun's fingers tangle in your hair, a shiver of anticipation courses through you, heightened by the primal instinct driving his actions. You feel the tension building in his body, his movements becoming more urgent as he approaches the brink of release.

With a final tug at your roots, he tightens, his balls drawing up as he releases into your mouth with a guttural groan of pleasure. His hips buck uncontrollably, driving himself deeper into your throat as he rides the waves of ecstasy coursing through him.

You surrender to the moment, allowing him to take control as he thrusts into your mouth, his movements are rough yet achingly intimate. Each sensation sends sparks of pleasure racing through you, mingling with the taste of him on your tongue as he spurts his essence. It’s not exactly cum, it doesn’t taste like it, but it’s filling your mouth up, some of it dripping out onto the bed below you.

And as he finally reaches the peak of his pleasure, his body trembling with the force of his release, you swallow him down, accepting him completely. You lap up the last few drops before giving a gentle kiss on his bell, smiling slightly as you relish in your work.

Jaeyun’s face exhibits one of pure bliss, his grin wide and his eyes closed. He looks so ethereal right now, your only wish is to cater to him. Soonyeol must have her hands full if she does this with all of them, no wonder she would need two months off.

Sitting up, his hands pull at your jeans, unbuttoning them with determination but you stop him, “Jaeyun, what are you doing?” you ask.

“I’m going to fuck you, is that not okay?” Jaeyun’s eyes have that spark in them just like before but more intense, like he’s bursting to the brim with happiness.

You can see the determination in Jaeyun's eyes, the fire of desire burning bright despite the recent climax. His eagerness to please you matches your own desire to cater to him, but you can't help but feel a twinge of apprehension.

"Are you not tired, Jaeyun?" you reply gently, placing a hand on his cheek to capture his attention, “I don't want to push you too far."

Jaeyun's expression softens at your words, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity, “I’m a doll, Y/N, I don’t get tired.”

Damn, maybe you should invest in one of these unalive-alive dolls with the £5,000 you’ll get from this job.

He sees your astonishment and laughs softly, his teeth on full display, “You’re so fucking pretty when you’re confused, Y/N,” his voice is back down to a whisper, his hand enclosing yours on his cheek as he nuzzles into it. Jaeyun knows how to use his charm to get what he wants but it’s significantly easier when the person he is trying to persuade wants it just as much as he does.

You find yourself nodding in agreement, unable to resist his enticement. With a shared understanding, you move in to capture his lips in yours, sealing the moment with a delicate kiss.

His hands go back to work, pulling at your jeans to take them off of your hot body. You help him out, pulling away from his mouth to undress yourself, leaving you both naked and wanting nothing more than to be entangled in one another.

“Wow,” he utters as his eyes trail your body from head to toe. His owner is beautiful but you have something about you that is sucking him in, the curve of your hips and the stretch marks on your thighs; you’re a vision he never wants to forget.

You turn scarlet as you see him staring at you, suddenly feeling less confident than before. But he quickly eases your mind as he licks his lips and pulls you into his lap, placing you to sit right on his cock, “I think you were wrong earlier,” he mutters into your shoulder as he places kisses along your chest.

“What do you mean?” Confusion lingers in your mind as you process his words, your fingers instinctively tangling in his hair as you look down at him with a mixture of surprise and affection.

“When you said you weren’t as beautiful compared to me. I think you’re so wrong,” he admits in a hushed tone, hands roaming along your waist and down to your thighs, feeling every inch of you.

Leaning down, you kiss him again except this time, you grind your hips, letting his cock slide between your folds and his tip brush against your clit teasingly. The action makes you both groan out in lust, wanting nothing more than to be tangled in one another. 

Jaeyun lightly slaps your ass to signal you to hover slightly, ready to dive into you. He hasn’t had sex with anyone other than Soonyeol so his eagerness is palpable, his mouth fighting a bright smile akin to a puppy.

Once you’re above him, he guides his cock to your hole and sharply pushes into you, causing you to fall forward onto his chest.

He enthusiastically bucks his hips up into you, ensuring that he is catering to every inch of your pleasure. Although he enjoys being looked after and cared for, he will always reciprocate; your enjoyment is as important to him as his own.

It's funny how different he is with you than with his owner; with you, he wants nothing more than to impress you, evident by the way he's focused on fucking into you, but with Soonyeol, he does whatever he wants to give her pleasure but there's no need to put in massive amounts of effort.

You feel his dick pressing deep into you, that curve that you noticed earlier is now doing wonders against your walls. Meeting his thrusts, you bounce on him, your hands gripping his shoulders as you pick up your pace. 

The sound of your skin slapping against Jaeyun is like music to his ears, the smile he was trying to fight off now splitting his face, the joy of fucking you so obvious from his expression. He wants to do this forever.

Looking down, you see him lost in glee and lust as he continues to thrust up into you at a fast pace, his gaze down at where you’re pussy is sucking him in. Gently, you lift his face to look at you, his wide gleaming eyes now staring into yours.

“You’re doing so good, pup,” you assure him, kissing the tip of his nose. He feels his non-existant heart soar at your words, his face radiant with your praise. And you weren’t just saying it, he truly was sensational, probably the best you’ve had in a long time. 

Jaeyun takes your words of appraisal and uses them to fuck into you harder, his mouth now attached to your nipple and he sucks and licks at it like a man starved.

You can feel that familiar coil in your stomach that signifies you’re close to release. Snaking your hand down to your clit you begin to rub circles on it quickly, but as soon as Jaeyun notices, he nudges your hand away and takes care of it himself, rubbing and pinching it between his thumb and pointer finger.

Throwing your head back, your breathing stops momentarily as you push out your orgasm, your wetness coating your inner thighs and his cock as you cum harshly around him, “Jaeyun, fuck!” you cry, hands gripping any part of Jaeyun they can.

Jaeyun shudders as you clench around him, spilling himself into your heat along with you. He rubs his face desperately against your tits, relishing in the feeling of you against him. He has this aching need to be as close to you as possible.

Both of you are in complete and utter bliss as you hold one another, coming down from your highs.

As Jaeyun peppers open-mouthed kisses along your neck, he savours the sensation of your heartbeat, saddened slightly by his lack of. If he had one, he wished you could hear how loudly it was beating from pure satisfaction and tenderness.

"That was incredible, Y/N," he murmurs against the curve of your nape, his smile pressing warmly against your skin.

You tenderly kiss the top of his head and linger there for a moment, your fingers tracing light strokes along his back. But as the clock chimes once again, signalling the passage of time, reality intrudes upon your blissful moment.

"Fuck, I need to get the others to bed," you say regretfully, reluctantly withdrawing yourself from Jaeyun's embrace. The air feels colder now that night is settling in, and the absence of his touch leaves you longing for his warmth.

Jaeyun watches you with a mixture of understanding and longing as you get dressed, his gaze following your movements with a hint of reluctance, he wants you to stay beside him the way Soonyeol does, to look after him a little longer.

Before you part ways, Jaeyun reaches out to gently grasp your hand, "Y/N," he begins, his voice soft yet filled with urgency, "Please, don't tell the others. We aren’t supposed to tell you, and they already think I’m incapable of keeping a secret,” he says disheartened, the last sentence laced with vulnerability.

His plea catches you off guard, but you can see the sincerity in his eyes. Kneeling beside the bed, you take his hand into yours and kiss it softly, “I promise, I will not tell anyone, okay?” you reassure him, punctuating your sentiment with a smile, “This stays between us.”

It’s a promise not only to him but also to yourself. At the end of the day, no matter how good it was, you fucked a doll - an alive one, but still a doll. 

With a grateful smile, Jaeyun leans in to press a gentle kiss against your lips, a silent gesture of gratitude for your understanding, “Thank you, Y/N. This won’t be the last time, will it?” he asks tentatively, trying to seek out how you might feel about the entirety of the situation.

You weigh up the question in your mind. On one hand, you would have someone to talk to and indulge in, but on the other, it’s risky and if Soonyeol found out, you know there would be hell to pay.

“Let’s just see how it goes, pup,” you say vaguely, kissing his forehead one more time.

This mansion is filled with secrets that you need to uncover, and you have two months to do it.

taglist: @nshmrarki @kgneptun @ui11iane @addictedtohobi @parksunghoonsgf @chaewonshoney @chiiiiiiiiis @lilyuwon @rayofsunshineeee @moon7jay @erehkinnie30 @brownsugarbaybee @minniejenseo @woninluv @jaysluvs @fakeuwus @capri-cuntz @ash024 @who-tf-soddhi @bambangan @vousty @heeseungspookie @alvojake @yorukoshii @haechonly @riftanswhore @belowbun @emikotakayami @branchrkive @featjunranghae @thejjrl @nyxtwixx @sunghoonnsupremacy @nctislifue @itsnikitty @enhypenlovre

#enhypen smut #enha smut #enhypen x reader #jake smut #jake sim smut #sim jaeyun smut #aj writes #enhypen fic #the doll house

[mayearies]

✩ ABC’S

sfw alphabet with miles g. genre: fluffy hcs

—‘A’ IS FOR AFFECTION (how affectionate are they?) pretty affectionate with his s/o even if he can be awkward sometimes, takes some time getting close to someone again. if you’re in public, he would mainly hold your hand. maybe sneak in a hug or kiss once in a while if he’s feelin’ handsy. when recieving affection, he’s always open towards it. even if it makes him a little embarassed at moments (mainly in public).

—‘B’ IS FOR BESTFRIEND (what are they like as a bestie?) once he get comfy with you, he the type to play with you but also have serious talks to. he would like to stay close to you and hang out with you a lot. he’s also really good at rps (rock paper scissors) and shadow boxing, you gettin’ bodied fo sho ‼️

—‘C’ IS FOR CUDDLES (what is their cuddling schedule?) he likes contact with you, preferably skin to skin so expect his hands up your back or your stomach. he can be both a big spoon or a little spoon, he just wants to hold you (he will be a little spoon most times which you will tease him about). one cuddle sesh a day is required for him to function.

“baby? where’s my hugs n’ kisses? you aint mad at me, right?”

—‘D’ IS FOR DOMESTIC (settling down? how will they be helping out around?) he would wait to get a fiancée, let alone a wife. but of course he would want to settle down with you. he loves you. a pretty decent home cook, nothing special. he would watch his ma make pasteles so it’s one of the dishes he can perfect. he tolerates cleaning. doesnt like it but doesn’t fully hate it.

—‘E’ IS FOR ENDING (how does breaking up go?) would absolutely try to avoid arguments all he can. depends on the reason why you two are splitting, but he will spill his feelings about the relationship out to you. in his head. he doesn’t enjoy speaking his thoughts very much and just feels it’ll escalate shit. though, he would wish you well.

—‘F’ IS FOR FIANCÉE (how committed are they to you?) puts his commitment to you over anything else. though he claims he is not in a rush to marry you and that it could wait, but at the same time he be talkin’ about baby names and what a dream it would be to marry someone like you.

—‘G’ IS FOR GENTLE (how gentle are they?) he’s gentle on most occasions. his rbf and cold aura can be misleading. the craves your touch and your kisses. however, he can be a little on the rough side. for example, his mental state. it isn’t the best with his dad being dead and being the prowler, but you make it more bearable with just your presence. he can also be on the rougher side by squeezing places he knows only belong to him (neck, thighs, waist, etc.)

—‘H’ IS FOR HUGS (how does their hugging schedule work?) he dont mind them. he just dont like the long ones. makes him uncomfortable in some way. he doesn’t do them that often, but when he does they’re really memorable and soft.

—‘I’ IS FOR I LOVE YOU (how quick do they say i love you?) waits a little long before pulling the big ‘l word’. i wouldnt describe him as head over heels for you, but he’s in love.

—‘J’ IS FOR JEALOUSY (what are they like when they’re jealous?) oh boy, can this man get jealous. like, hella jealous. if someone so much as stare too long at you, he’ll glare at them while bringing you closer towards him. touching you? a line nobody can cross. that shit is a death wish. his mami, not yours.

—‘K’ IS FOR KISSES (how does their kiss schedule work?) hold me back i finna go wild on this one. though you’re probably his first relationship like ever, he didnt know how to kiss at first. as time went on though, his kisses got really passionate and filled with longing. everytime he kisses you, he misses you just a little bit less cause he knows you’re here. you’re here to stay. you’re his. he would kiss you anywhere. your least favorite part? kissed. your favorite part? consider it done, bae. he likes cheek kisses a lot. he doesn’t know why, though. he also really likes looking at your eyes when he’s done kissing you, he likes eye contact in general. if you are avoiding it or simply looking away from him, he’ll snap his fingers in your face and hold your chin as you turn towards him.

“ma. look at me. i won’t ask twice.”

—‘L’ IS FOR LITTLE ONES (how are they around kids?) not a fan of kids, they’re too noisy. he’s really awkward with them because he internally just thinks they’re little brats, but he also knows they’re stupid. his kid though? he will adore them so fucking much you might have to separate him.

—‘M’ IS FOR MORNINGS (how do your morning routines go?) he wakes up whenever you wake up. your morning routine is basically his, only that he adds a few more steps to it. those ‘few more steps’ being holding you for a solid five or so minutes before you carry on with your early rising.

—‘N’ IS FOR NIGHTS (how does your night routine go?) much like the mornings, his night routine is similar to yours. except, sometimes you dont even finish the whole thing because he wants your time and attention to himself before he drifts off to sleep.

—‘O’ IS FOR OPEN (when will they become more personal?) probably on the third or fourth date. the first two he would want to know more about you. but, he would drop little things he was interested in too.

—‘P’ IS FOR PATIENCE (how patient are they?) he doesn’t get upset that easily, with you atleast. don’t push him too far with your smart mouth, though. that’s what can really piss him off sometimes.

“the fuck you think you talkin’ to? tone down that attitude fo’ me.”

—‘Q’ IS FOR QUIZZES (how much would they remember about you?) he would remember the things that intrugied him about you, but he wouldnt remember every single thing. that’s how he knew what to buy you if he wanted to surprise you.

—‘R’ IS FOR REMEMBER (whats their favorite moment?) he loves them all equally, frankly if he had to choose he couldn’t.

—‘S’ IS FOR SECURITY (how protective are they?) pretty fuckin’ protective of you. and you love it. sometimes, he would stalk you just to see how you were doing or if you were okay. he just doesn’t want to lose someone again, he hopes you understand.

—‘T’ IS FOR TRY (how much effort do they put into your relationship?) he tries to make an effort into planning dates but those plans often get spoiled by his alter. he will always make it up to you, though. no matter what.

—‘U’ IS FOR UGLY (whats one of their flaws?) lying. he doesnt like to lie to you, but it keeps you safe. it got to the point where he would lie about little things on accident, like taking out the trash.

—‘V’ IS FOR VANITY (how insecure are they about their looks?) not a lot. if you think he looks good, then he looks good. sometimes he wonders how he even managed to pull someone like you.

“whatever, amor. if you think i look good, then i look good. whatever you say goes.”

—‘W’ IS FOR WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?) yes. nothing more.

—‘X’ IS FOR XTRA (random hc about them?) he behaves like a cat sometimes without even knowing it.

—‘Y’ IS FOR YUCK (whats something they dont like in a partner?) he probably doesnt like loud noises. yes, he does ride a motorcycle but he probably wears earplugs to help with the noise.

—‘Z’ IS FOR ZZZ (what are their sleeping habits?) he’s naturally a light sleeper, so anything faint could wake him up. something he does when you sleep with him is that he would hold you so close and tight that you once had a dream you fell and broke your back. and a actually felt that pain in real life. yikes. another habit he has is playing with your hair subconciously and muttering things about you in his sleep. you both have woken up to it multiple times.

© mayeluvsu 1610 version

#miles g morales #miles morales x you #miles morales headcanons #earth 42 miles morales #earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles morales blurbs

[chaosandmarigolds]

It's me. hi i'm the problem it's me (aka here's another installment of Simon Riley's being...Simon Riley)

Dinner Party (gone wrong) edition

He will help you cook, mainly because he's jealous of the literal task of cooking for getting more attention than him for the past five hours- does he know what he's doing? No. But he does his best and lord knows he can and will happily follow orders.

Cleaning? he may seem a bit disgruntled at first but he will stand on the dining room table to clean the lights, and he'll clean the baseboards even though he keeps telling you no one is going to look at them-

Loves watching you cook, or more of he loves watching you do something you enjoy, you could be gardening, writing, reading, sewing- he loves seeing the shine in your eyes- so he does stare, not in a super creepy way but it catches your attention

"I can feel you staring at me."

"An?"

"And you're freakin me out-Oh! Since you're here can you go get the nice wine from the basement?"

"Got it, boss."

He tastes tests everything, it's an excuse to put his hands on you to keep himself still for a moment so therefore he is very eager to do so

As much as he 'loves' PDA (aka he tolerates it) around your supposed friends you've been so desperate to impress for the past two weeks, he can't stomach the idea of giving you any more than an awkward side hug in their presence

Dead stare? yeah, he stares at them from across the table, utterly baffled out they can outright judge your amazing cooking because like??? a free meal?

'It's overcooked' your ass is overcooked Jenni.

Yet he was shocked? you were just taking the harsh words and backhanded compliments with a smile and nod. You were better than him, he would've made some snarky remark already

"Your house is...so cozy." "The decor is very retro."

"Maxmilist but...not? I love it." "Mm, very seasoned."

"It's so... it's so you."

You were taking it, laughing it off and squeezing his hand every time he made any motion or even gave a look like he may snap back at them.

"I think...I think I did good steak- the steak is good right?" You whisper as you grab the wine from the rack in the kitchen- which he technically didn't have to follow you but it was probably for the better that he did. Tears stung your eyes and you were doing your best to breathe and not let a sound escape.

"I thought it was amazing, it was amazing-hey-baby," he grabbed your shoulders to keep you from going back and then very carefully moved to wipe the tear from your cheek, "Baby, how about we kick em out an' then we watch tha' movie in the theatre? I'll make them go away...do you want me to make them go away?"

"That-it would be so mean."

"Do you want them gone?"

It took two words to make the prestige get up out of the seats, 'get out.' however he would tell you he was very polite and told them you weren't feeling well suddenly, and they were very understanding.

He told you to not change, after all you were already dressed up as if for a date and so was he so it worked perfectly.

Sure the movie you chose was a reshowing of a 90's chickflic but he would take your laughter over anything else in the world-

and yeah he did all of the dishes because he felt like when you got home the only thing you needed todo was go to sleep and rest

Next time he would just have the boys come over (after a long lecture on manners for Johnny, will make that man sit through an online dinner manner course thingy)

(annnyway thats it <33 I love comments and feedback!)

#simon riley imagine #simon riley fanfic #cod x you #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #cod fluff #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x you #x fem!reader #x female reader #coco’s chaos <3 #ghost #ghost cod #mw2 ghost #simon ghost fluff #ghost fluff

[authormars]

Spice Tolerances

I saw two posts about this, so I am now posting my own opinion. This is from most to least

Mammon

When it's Mammon's turn to cook at the HoL, he always cooks spicy food. You may be thinking "why wouldn't it be Beel?" And my answer to that is simply that Beel eats all kinds of things (including inedible things) and Mammon really likes spicy foods.

Can handle the most out of the brothers, including nearly all human spices (including the One Chip) and most Devildom spices.

Beel

Do I really need to explain? Beel eats a lot and loves most types of food. It's only natural he's built up a tolerance.

Can eat most human world spices (has tried the One Chip challenge and succeeded, with some coughing) and a lot of Devildom spices.

Lucifer

This may be controversial. I get it. He's old. He's white. Why would he ever have a high spice tolerance? I have only one answer for you.

Absolute spite.

You think he will allow himself to be bested by spice? Like some sort of commoner? Absolutely not!

He built up a tolerance from Mammon's food and dinners spent at the castle. Diavolo has a fondness for spice and a weirdly high tolerance, so he has a high spice tolerance because of that.

He can handle many human spices, but he has a higher tolerance for Devildom spices due to Barbatos using them in his cooking.

Asmo

Let me tell you, there's a big difference between Lucifer's spice tolerance and Asmo's spice tolerance.

Asmo's limit on the Scoville Scale (which only applies to human world spices) would probably be around 10k

His limit on Devildom Spices would probably be about half of the total list. Not bad, but still not the best

Levi

Levi only is up so high because of Mammon and his liking of spicy ramen noodles. When Mammon and Levi are home alone, Mammon will normally cook and Levi can handle his lighter dishes.

Levi probably could have 1/3 of all Devildom spices. That being said, his max on the Scoville Scale would be around 8k

Belphie

No we're getting to the low spice tolerances. Belphie can handle very little Devildom spices, but is still capable of eating Mammon's lighter dishes without dying. Beel is the main reason he is higher than Satan. Beel eats out a lot and sometimes forces Belphie to go with him

Satan

Ah, Satan. The angry white boy. Yes, he has tried to build up tolerance. Yes, it's slowly working. Still, this man cannot handle much spice. It's not to the level of hating salt (he's not that white)

He normally cannot handle Mammon's cooking and eats something else (or Mammon makes him a non-spicy version)

He can't handle most Devildom spices.

He's very angry at all of this

Anyways, that's it. I always feel ungodly rage when someone puts Luci low because he would never allow himself to be bested by spice, he's a prideful asshole.

Thank you all for how much support I receive on each of these and if you are bored, please ask me things I don't have anything better to do

I will write if you ask me to

#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me hcs #obey me brothers #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #Spice tolerances

[emo-batboy]

Battinson and Food

He’s vegetarian and I will hear none of your crap

Depression meals, so many depression meals

I already made a post of his greatest hits here but here's three more:

A whole tub of apple sauce

Instant grits mixed with a hot chocolate packet

And a bowl of croutons

Some meals have actually graduated from the “Depression Meal” category to “Whenever I Can Sneak It Out of the Kitchen” status (because Alfred is appalled every time)

Dick, with the invincible, titanium-lined stomach of a 9yo, doesn’t know why Bruce makes them, but he loves taking bites of Bruce’s weird concoctions.

His favorites so far are:

Cream cheese and jelly sandwich

Spoonfuls of peanut butter (with chocolate chips, that was his idea)

And frozen garlic bread

Diner Food is King. (This is New Jersey. What did you expect?) His go-to order is two eggs over easy, well-done rye toast, grits with syrup and butter, and a fruit cup with no melons from the 24-hour place two blocks east. Hasn’t changed since he was five. Never will.

Bruce can cook food that is edible. Edible.

Like if he tries to make Italian, he can successfully cook the pasta. He can make a basic sauce. He can even plate it.

The tomato sauce is crunchy in some places, yes, but it’s fine :) and it is edible

but Bruce has NEVER succeeded in a baking endeavor, and it positively devastates him every single time

“Baking is science! I love science! I’m great at science. So why didn’t the cake rise when I did everything on the recipe?!” “You need to make it with love-“ “That wasn’t on the ingredients list, Alfred!”

He can handle spice surprisingly well. It’s not like he could avoid it while training all over the world, so he ended up building a tolerance, but his eyes still go unbelievably red every time.

He really fucks with bagels (I mean, what self-respecting Gothamite doesn’t) and he has a very specific bagel order for every possible mood from the great place downtown

The workers at Bagel Kingdom know which moods correspond with which order, and they have a designated spreadsheet taped to the back of the counter so they can work accordingly.

They know he’s barely hanging in there when he gets a toasted blueberry bagel with no butter.

He’s having a good day when he gets a plain bagel sandwich with tomato, provolone, two fried eggs, and hot sauce. In that order. That’s the shit

When he’s stressed, he gets a pumpernickel bagel with strawberry cream cheese to cheer himself up.

The workers of Bagel Kingdom will NOT let you disrespect his bagel.

Bruce almost burnt the tower down when he tried to cook a toaster waffle in the microwave while running on 40 hours without sleep, and he just kept cooking it because it wasn’t crisping for some reason

Alfred needs to force him to eat all the time

(It is definitely because Bruce suffers from disordered eating.)

There was one period of time in which Bruce went days without food, and Alfred (lovingly) threatened to send him to in-patient if he didn’t eat

Bruce said that those gross, mushy, lukewarm blueberries were the only thing he’d tolerate when he was struggling, so blueberries became their indicator: if Bruce can’t stomach blueberries, he goes to in-patient.

He’s gone twice, and Bruce was very mad each time, but he still uses healing methods that he was taught in there so it couldn’t have been that bad.

(He’s also friends with some of the nurses now. He, Denise, and Kayleigh have a group chat.)

Dick once convinced him to test taste different kinds of olive oil to learn the difference between regular and extra virgin. It was absolutely disgusting, and he ended up puking an hour later. Alfred now puts child locks on the kitchen cabinets.

The first time Bruce ever makes a meal that doesn’t look horrid is when he spends two weeks practicing Romani dishes for Dick the month after he adopts him.

He has since perfected three different recipes:

Stuffed peppers

Goulash

Cabbage rolls

(Keep in mind Dick is not vegetarian like Bruce.)

He tried making almond cake like 80 times (which is more like a biscuit but still a baked good) but could never do it right so Alfred makes them instead.

At dinner time, Dick always eats off Bruce’s plate more than his own. Alfred has chastised him several times, but Bruce only encourages him more. He thinks it’s cute. And so does the general public when they attend dinner parties.

One of Bruce's favorite memories of his parents is when he had a bad dream in the middle of the night so Thomas and Martha drove him out to the nearest diner to have a chocolate milkshake at 3 am.

Now, after patrol, if Bruce saw something traumatic or something that reminded him of his parents’ death, he’ll go to that same 24-hour diner and sit for a bit with a chocolate milkshake.

He continues this tradition after Dick becomes Robin. (Even if it took months for Bruce to even consider the idea of letting Dick near harm’s way.)

No matter how hard he tries to keep Dick away from the gruesome stuff, he can’t stop everything. They get milkshakes a lot more than Bruce would like.

But eventually, it turns into a treat whenever Dick does well in school or needs a pick-me-up.

And when they add Jason to the mix, they introduce him to the tradition as well.

They know everything will be okay when they have chocolate milkshakes together.

#battinson #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #battinson is so jerseycore #i would die for him #tw eating issues #tw food #tw disordered eating #tw ed descussion #alfred pennyworth #the batman 2022 #the batman #batman 2022 #battinson needs a hug #soft bruce wayne #gotham #dc universe #dc #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #dc robin #robin dc

[blackopals-world]

Hi,

I really liked your chef yuu au. Could you continue that for Leona, Lilia and Sebek as well as Silver and Rooks reactions to their home cooked meals

"The Way to a Man's Heart" (part 2)

(part 1) (part 3) ( part 4)

Chef!Yuu au x Twisted Wonderland characters

Characters: Leona, Lilia, Sebek, Ruggie, Silver, Rook

Warning: Leona is my least favorite but he will eat, by God will he eat.

Notes: Since you guys keep asking here is part two. jk I love you guys.

Lilia

Yuu has been a victim of Lilia's food before. She had made the mistake of going to Draconia when it was Lilia's turn to cook. It was a mistake.

The other students must of built up a tolerance to such food.

It was burned but cold. Salty, mushy, and absolutely a sin in food disguise. Yuu wanted to cry from just the sight.

Yuu feared it and she feared the great powerful force that could make such a thing.

At first she wanted to teach Lilia how to cook but realized it was a fruitless endeavor as Lilia has had so long to learn and still can't cook shows that nothing could be done.

Dad always said for men like that, there is nothing to be done. At best find them a capable partner who can help them survive or starve trying.

Still Yuu felt sorry for the Draconia dorm and insisted on joining them for cooking duties. Serving a decent meal or two during the week as long as Lilia stays out of the kitchen.

One night she served a classic borscht. The taste of red vinegar, vegetables, and potatoes isn't usually for the pallet of young people but it's had a nostalgic factor for Lilia. It's harsh and cold like the winter but comforting like a grandmother. The other students agreed.

Other nights Lilia favored the Margarita pizza she made. His favorite part was the sauce even if he looked her in the eye as he put sugar on his slice. Yuu looked like she was going to throw a chair at him.

"So cute, I've never seen you so mad!" The troublesome old bat said clearly goading her.

"Lilia-Sama don't you think you're a little to old for this?" Yuu said politely through her teeth.

"For what dear?" He played coy but he was actually nervous she wouldn't cook again after this stunt.

"I think I'll make baked yams next time, with lots of marshmallows." Yuu said now ignoring him.

Sebek

Sebek was lucky, incredibly lucky that Yuu didn't take him seriously. Only the gods would know how he kept his head otherwise. Such a sweet docile girl like that could be fierce when needed.

As long as Sebek kept his backhanded compliments to himself they were golden.

The first time he tried her food was an eye opener.

"This soup is pretty good from a human like yourself." Sebek tried to give her a complaint.

Unfortunately, Yuu was already riled up by Lilia and Malleus was too distracted by food to stop what happened next. Sebek ended up with his face shoved in that cold soup. After that Sebek kept his words to himself when Yuu was in the kitchen.

Still, Sebek made himself useful and carried her giant bags of produce to the kitchen. She would praise him when he helped peel potatoes and garlic. I wasn't unpleasant.

Yuu treated him like puppy who needed to be taught how to not nip heels, which is a funny image. Over time Yuu adjusted to Sebek's personality and Sebek became more polite.

She made sure to reward him with a special dish of smoked planked salmon. It needed to be cooked perfectly on a cedar wood and seasoned with the right herbs. Sebek enjoyed it throughly as he ate like a child on his birthday.

Yuu couldn't help but laugh as she patted his head.

"Can you make this again if I help?" He asked almost innocently after cleaning his plate.

Silver

Yuu wouldn't admit it casually but she had favorites. She loved anyone who treated her food and her with respect. Silver was one of those people. To be fair he believed anyone who could cook decent food were amazing.

Silver was a receiver of Yuu's highest honors a lunchbox whenever he wanted. Such a gift was mostly due to Yuu knowing the quality of Lilia's cooking and the pity of knowing he grew up on said food. Also Silver genuinely enjoyed food and trying new foods with Yuu.

One day Yuu took Silver on an outing in the forest and pulled out a basket hidden behind a tree. Luckily no animals, beastmen or Rooks got to it yet.

They had a picnic of club sandwiches, veggies and hummus, and cut fruits with caramel sauce. It was a beautiful afternoon and as they ate a few of Silver's animal friends visited and ate with them. Yuu wondered if she had seen something like this out of a story book.

"We must look like a prince and princess like in a fairy tale." Yuu mused out loud as Silver dozed off with a rabbit eating the lettuce out of his sandwich.

"You'd make a good princess." Silver mumbled not completely asleep.

The one time he isn't randomly asleep and it had to be now?!

Rook

Rook was a thief, that was for sure. Just not one Yuu minded.

Rook was welcome at her table but with the hunter alway coming and going, he has more fun stealing a morsel or two.

They shared a unique bond. A hunter and a chef, what could be a better match?

He brings her fresh game meat and she prepares it. Some dishes require more then just cuts of beef, they need bones or fat. Rook eagerly obliged with quails, phesent, boar and anything else she needed. His skills were put to good use with her around. His hunting had purpose.

Yuu would also fawn over him was she prepared the food. There was something almost primal to their interactions, like scratching an itch that was as old as time. Old fashioned? No. vintage. The oldest bond there was.

After delivering a fresh rabbit to Yuu he stayed for dinner again. She worked diligently to prepare the meat for Rabbit au vin, a traditional French stew. Rook eagerly awaited as he snuck bites of the cut vegetables when she wasn't watching. He even got caught of purpose to watcher he pout and try to push him out of the kitchen.

"Mon cher lapin, I only wish to sample your divine art." He said being moved to the dining room.

"Set the table before I send you back with a to-go plate. Then tell Vil what you've been up too." Yuu scolded knowing Rook couldn't tell Vil how he was ruining his diet plan.

"I'm sure he'll forgive me, he has sampled your culinary masterpieces." Rook said as he began setting the table as told.

He watched her cook from his chair he briefly indulged himself in fantasies. That ancient desire that came so naturally. A life of a hunter coming home to his beautiful and hardworking wife. Handing her his query so she can make dinner and being pushed out so she can work. Eating together and sleeping next to one other when the day is through. A simple life in simple times. Perhaps getting news of her with chi-

"Rook? Foods ready." Yuu called as she pulled the bread from the oven.

'Perhaps I indulged a bit too much.' Rook thought as his face turned red.

Leona

Leona was not someone Yuu cooked for very often this is mostly due to Leona being ungrateful. When Yuu first shared some of her chicken skewers with him be began demanding more. He felt entitled to her cooking and jealously guarded anything she made. It was the last straw when he was caught taking Ruggie's lunch.

Hell had no fury like Yuu's that day. Since then Leona was banned from eating her food.

Since then Leona was on his best behavior to get Yuu to cook him something again. Making sure to butter her up with attention and bribes.

Yuu only relented when Leona came with his tail between his legs after a particularly awful day. He was pitiful, which for someone so prideful it was painful to watch. Yuu invited him into her dorm and discided to cook something comforting.

Japchae; glass noodles with seasoned pork and vegetable stir fry. Seolleongtang; A creamy ox bone soup. And finally soy-sauce braised short ribs.

Nothing could beat a meal like this. Leona didn't disagree. It was heavy, warm, and meaty. The short ribs were his favorite since they were so soft and Yuu made sure to cook it medium rare.

Leona almost immediately went to sleep after eating getting the best sleep he had in weeks. Nothing like a good meal to knock you out.

Yuu would believe Leona was a bear and not a lion with how he slept. She would cook for Leona again as long as he checked his behavior.

Ruggie

It started when Yuu first started cooking. Ruggie had paid attention to Yuu giving lunch boxes to Ace and Deuce. She was also doing it for free!

Of course Ruggie wanted in on this grift. He started by making sure to sigh pitifully around her to get her attention.

"Ruggie, you okay?" Yuu asked checking the hyena over.

"Oh, I'm so busy with taking care of Leona that I keep forgetting to eat. You know how he is." Ruggie sighed again his ears drooping.

Yuu gave him a look that screamed "Poor baby." Unknowingly, Ruggie was driving a deeper wedge between Yuu and Leona. Not that he would care. His pitiful behavior touched Yuu's heart.

Yuu came back the next day with a big lunch packed with food. Smothered chicken and rice, collard greens with smoked turkey neck, and 5 cheese macaroni. A good southern meal. Ruggie ate it up immediately as he thanked Yuu.

After that the hyena was very clingy and ate every snack Yuu would have on her. He stayed at Ramshackle more then his own dorm just to eat dinner with her. Of course he pulled his own weight and helped around the house as well.

One evening after a full dinner he lounged on the couch with his head on Yuu's lap entering a food coma as he munched on his fluffy Chinese donuts. He was in heaven as she rubbed his ears and told him how helpful he was that day. Ruggie would never leave at this rate.

"Ruggie you are my favorite person to cook for, you know. But don't tell the others, okay?" She said stroking his hair.

How could he not tell everyone?

Ruggie knows he's spoiled and acts like it too. He loves food and Yuu loves cooking. They were perfect together. He wanted it to say like this forever.

He would marry this woman and honestly she might just agree to it.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu #rook hunt #twisted wonderland rook #rook hunt x reader #leona kingscholar #leona x reader #ruggie x reader #twst ruggie #ruggie x yuu #lilia twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #sebek x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #sebek zigvolt #twisted wonderland sebek #silver vanrouge #twst silver #twst #twisted wonderland silver #lilia x reader #lilia x y/n #leona x y/n #chef!yuu

[randomprose]

“Why.” 

Not a question. A demand. He Tian wonders if, as much as Mo Guan Shan says He Tian always makes demands of him, he’s also aware that he does the same.

“Hm?”

“Why me.”

He Tian ponders at the words as he runs his fingers on the side of Mo Guan Shan’s head resting in his chest. The shorn hair is starting to grow. Mo Guan Shan has noticed. And tomorrow, he’ll probably go to the barber shop downtown, the one he’s been going to since middle school, to get it cut again. Maybe he’ll ask He Tian to come and they can eat at the corner noodle shop next block from the barbers, the one with the really spicy mapo tofu Mo Guan Shan likes. He Tian will drag them to the fancy yogurt store he likes by the station to get his tongue to stop hurting from the mapo sauce and Mo Guan Shan will tease him about his shitty spice tolerance (It’s not! Mo Guan Shan’s Sichuanese palette is just short of demonic!) before heading home to do laundry. 

Or if Mo Guan Shan doesn’t feel like going out, he’ll shave off the side of his head over the bathroom sink himself (maybe he’ll ask He Tian) and they’ll just order takeout. And then do laundry.

“Hey.” A pinch at He Tian’s exposed hip which hurt enough for him to tug at Mo Guan Shan’s ear in retaliation. “Answer the question, you dick.”

“Tch.” He Tian’s hand continues to run through Mo Guan Shang’s hair, down to his neck, to his shoulder, his arm, and then back up. Repeats.

The touch is light and almost absent. Done almost as if just for something to do. Mo Guan Shan knows He Tian is thinking. He waits.

There’s a myriad of answers to that. Chief among them is, well, He Tian doesn’t know really. Mo Guan Shan was just some delinquent who Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi fought once. He Tian helped beat him up and then he saw him again eating a sandwich outside of some convenience store he couldn’t remember what chain now. He Tian was bored. Mo Guan Shan was a good distraction. A fun distraction. He made He Tian laugh. Truly. Genuinely. The type that travels warm through the chest and sits pleasantly in the belly. The type of laugh he has to stifle. And He Tian can’t remember the last time he laughed that wasn’t out of derision or condescension. Mo Guan Shan is a good cook. A really good cook. He Tian never really cared much for food beyond needed sustenance but the first taste of Mo Guan Shang’s beef stew got him craving. To this day, He Tian swears it’s one of the best dishes he’s ever had. Mo Guan Shan needed better friends and maybe at the time He Tian also needed a friend. Mo Guan Shan was strong but he needed saving too and He Tian liked being needed. 

Mo Guan Shan had the eyes of someone fighting the world as if it owes him something. He looked at He Tian like a nuisance and without any expectations. And He Tian liked exceeding expectations regardless if they don't exist so he took that as a challenge.

But it’s also precisely because Mo Guan Shan looked at him without expecting anything. For someone like He Tian that was the most refreshing thing in the world. Mo Guan Shan looks at him and He Tian can just be. And now the only expectations he wants to exceed are Mo Guan Shan’s.

“Your eyes.”

“What?”

“It was your eyes. I liked them.”

“Liked?” Past tense?

“I still do. I like you.”

“My eyes, huh.” A pause. “Why?” A genuine question this time.

He Tian shrugs. “They looked sad.”

“Have you looked in the mirror.”

“Not the same.”

“You liked my eyes because they looked sad.”

“I like sad things.”

“You’re sad.”

“On the contrary, Little Mo.” He Tian presses Mo Guan Shan against his side. Skin to skin, half of Mo Guan Shan’s body practically draped over him. He keeps him there and drops a kiss on fiery auburn locks. Smiles against his temple when he doesn’t shift away and just stays there, pressed snug against He Tian. The arm thrown over his bare torso is a very welcomed warm weight. “I am actually very, very happy.” 

Now. Because of you.

“What about now?”

He Tian lets his hand travel lower, beneath the sheet draped loosely over their hips, to grab at soft flesh.

“Oh, I am very, very, absolutely happy right now.”

“Tch.” Another pinch to his side, a light kick in the shins. “Not what I meant, pervert.”

“Eeeh. You love it.” Love me. “Well, what do you mean?”

“Are my eyes still sad?”

A consideration. “No.” He Tian thinks of warm brown eyes welcoming him home with dinner on the stove, thinks of the wicked glint in them just moments earlier looking down at him as Mo Guan Shan rides him, of the euphoric haze in them afterwards when He Tian flipped them and finished inside him. “Not much now, no.”

Because Mo Guan Shan still has his days when it feels like his insides are slowly but surely turning cold, chest heavy and hollow at the same time. They both do. And He Tian can’t pretend he can chase them all away any more than Mo Guan Shan can keep He Tian’s at bay. But best believe He Tian is damn well sure as fuck always gonna try his level best to pull Mo Guan Shan out of it just as he does to him. Every time. 

“Guess you no longer like me then, huh.”

He Tian scoffs—almost laughs—at the absurdity of the mere idea. See? Didn’t he say Mo Guan Shan is quiet the comedian?

“Again, on the contrary, Little Mo.” He Tian turns on his side, pulls Mo Guan Shan impossibly closer against him so they’re chest to chest, and slots a leg in between Mo Guan Shan’s. In response, an arm curls tight around his back, a hand pressed between skin and cotton sheets, the other placed over He Tian’s chest, and it’s like slotting two puzzle pieces together. Perfectly. “I really, very much like you. Love you even.”

Mo Guan Shan sighs, tucks his face where He Tian’s neck and shoulder meets. He inhales, revelling in the smell of sex, sweat, and something distinctively He Tian—dark and dangerous and safe.

“Sap.” Because He Tian, Mo Guan Shan knows, for all his faults, never lies. “You said you like sad things.”

“No. I said I like you. Just you.” He Tian says. “I love you.” 

The words are said with a tone of unquestionable certainty. Just like all the other times he’s said them and all the other times they will leave He Tian’s lips. Always. Without question.

In whatever state you are, I will always like, want, need, love, everything you.

Mo Guan Shan just hums, pressing his lips tenderly at He Tian’s pulse one, two, three times. 

He Tian clutches at the palm resting over his heart. It’s all the answer he needs.

#19 days #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #writing

[kommandonuovidiavoli]

How are the gang’s relationship with their parents(and extended family)

OH BOI this took a lot especially because I had to think and RETHINK relationships and stuff, but here we go!

Abby's Family

Abby lives with her parents since she's still studying (and a minor too). They're still in a good relationship, as close as ever, and with new people around the house! Her older brother Jacob and his son Simon are living at her home since Jacob got a new job at Mr. Boss' company (his other kid and wife are living at their house in the next city, but they see each other in the weekends and often visit them at Abby's home!). Only problem is with Cree: since she got married in secret, she's seen less and less at the house, also because she moved with her new husband. Her and Abby don't talk anymore after a huge fight they had some years before. Jacob too doesn't talk to her too much, for some reason.

Also, they all love Hoagie, he's always welcome in the house! Sometimes they force Abby to invite him over...

-

Wally's Family

Wally too still lived with his parents and Joy at their house, but things are not too good. Wally doesn't have a good relationship with his mother anymore, they mostly scream at each other and argue a lot. His father keeps out of their arguments, doesn't even try to mitigate them anymore at this point; if they start, he just takes Joey to the living room to watch TV or something. Sydney has a better relationship with him, even if Wally never wants to talk about his problems with him. Teenagers...

At least things calm down when Kuki's over; they all love the girl!

He's incredibly close to Joey. The two spend a lot of time together, Wally allows him in his room whenever he wants, plays with him sometimes and also lets him sleep in his bed!

Also, since Lou and Syd reconnected, sometimes he hangs around the house too, if they need a babysitter for Joey. Wally... tolerates him. He's good at videogames, at least.

-

Kuki's Family

Kuki too lives with his family: her parents and Mushi. Her parents are still strict and serious, maybe a bit demanding now that she's in high school, but she handles it pretty good most of the times. But things are not good. Her parents barely talk to each other without arguing, and it is starting to take a tool on her. Also, they don't like Wally at all, considering him a "no good imbecile punk".

She isn't allowed to have him at home, Kani also doesn't want him to get NEAR the house, so sometimes Kuki has to get out without them knowing. But they ALWAYS get to know what she does, and it's because Mushi always tells on her.

The little girl somehow managed to get out of her lifelong grounding, and is now her dad's favorite girl. She's like one of those Delightfuls: a spoiled educated kid who always does what adults say.

-

Hoagie's Family

Hoagie still lives with his mom, his grandmother (when she wants to hang around) and his brother Tommy. Everything's fine on this side, luckly! His mom still works at Mr. Boss' company, but managed to become Head of Marketing, so she has a lot to do and not too much time to spend home. Hoagie makes sure everything is always ready and clean, cooks for everyone (and he's even GOOD at it!), takes care of laundry and makes sure Tommy showers AT LEAST once at week. He's the man of the house! Especially since no one knows or cares where his father is, at this point.

Abby's always welcome to their house, but Betty always asks to invite her when she's home too, so they can talk! She loves the girl!

His grandma usually hisses at her. Tommy too.

AND FINALLY I CAN ADD Nigel's Family

After getting his house back when he turned 18, Nigel lived alone in a house that slowly started looking like a messy prison: dirty dishes, clothes everywhere, dust and cracks. The only rooms that were intact were his parent's bedroom (which he started to sleep in) and his old bedroom, that he never entered since he went back. Penny arrived at the right time, as he needed something to get himself together and remember why he was still there and fighting in the TND: for the sake of kids all around the world. The same kids his parents protected as long as they could. Penny claimed the bedroom and is thinking of adding mermaid touches EVERYWHERE. The house still needs cleaning tho.

#teen au #kids next door #knd #do I have to tag everyone? #HERE WE GO #abigail lincoln #simon lincoln #cree lincoln #jacob lincoln #mr lincoln #ms lincoln #wallabee beetles #joey beetles #sydney beetles #charlotte beetles #yes that's my name for wally's mom #lou beetles #kuki sanban #genki sanban #kani sanban #mushi sanban #hoagie gilligan #betty gilligan #tommy gilligan #lydia gilligan #I know it's not her surname but I'll find her more easily like this #nigel uno #penelope doe

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere “Perfect” Househusband Loves When…

Yandere "Perfect" Househusband loves when you scold him when you come home from work. Despite what many would want, W3zley delights in your annoyance. Which is great because the things he loves doing the most seems to incite that response. You’re such a gorgeous stone-faced character it excites him to get a response from you at all. 

“You released a deadly gas at a block party!?”

“Don’t be such a prude (Y/n), it was only a small neighborhood anyway.”

Yandere "Perfect" Househusband loves when you fall for old tricks. Long before his semi-forced commitment to the househusband role he’s been at odds with you for the longest time; usually ending with you winning in the grand scheme of things. But when you’re at home your especially vulnerable. You so easily fall into the nuance of domesticity forgetting his true nature. Which leads you susceptible to spiked drinks, hidden aphrodisiacs, flowers with nefarious purposes, the list goes on. He won’t do anything too wild or too often , you’d notice too fast but he can indulge in his deeper fantasies. The ones you don’t always let him get away with. It’s not usually on the level of his worst habits: health-code violation calls, assault, battery, framing people genocide, inter-dimensional destruction, or mass-vaporizing blasts so you’re not going to stop him for this. That is if you ever find out. Usually his little excursions are nothing but little things that result in lapses of your judgement; which make unforced affection all the more possible.

“Ah~you’re so soft, you’d never let me touch you this way if you were lucid.”

Yandere "Perfect" Househusband loves when he can successfully carry out his underground “smoothie” business. You’ve caught him before and he got quite the lashing but he just can’t stop. When you’re locking him down for whatever punishable offense he’s committed, he feels unfullfilled. He has an itch. He’s got to scratch it. And it has do with the gorey ingredients and the magic that has him having a growing consumer base in the underground market. Even those outside the underground community have heard of his business. Which truly becomes his outlet for his violent tendencies. 

“These humans are so easy! This will surely keep me entertained.”

Yandere "Perfect" Househusband loves when he catches you off-guard. Similar to when you’re angry, any break in your tolerable mask makes his heart flutter. He often uses being a house-husband to do just that. He’s doing his job as your husband so well you’re supposed to praise him right? Look he’s made you, your favorite dish! Now won’t you let him feed it to you, say ‘ah’! Oh now look he’s cooking for you with the apron you got him! Ooops, I meant to say ‘only’ the apron on! 

“Now don’t overheat, (Y/n)! Your husband asked you for a kiss and you’ll give it to me right? Right?”

#yandere househusband #yandere househusband oc #yandere house husband #yandere W3zley #yandere x reader #yandere x you #lovelyyandereaddictionpoint #yanderexrea #yandere #yanderes #yandere oc #yandere husband #yandere husband x reader #yandere oc x reader #yandere villain #yandere original character #yandere original characters

[cod-dump]

141 + friends - best to worst spice tolerance, GO!

It goes worst to best

(Annie is the name I gave Laswell's wife)

___

Roach has the worst spice tolerance out of them all. Dies when there's too much pepper on the food he had stolen. Does that stop him from stealing people's food? No. Does he ever learn not to steal certain people's food because of previous run ins with spice? No. But he does know if there's a container that says 'gumbo' on it that it would certainly kill him. If it's in Spanish he steers clear (he was almost sent to the hospital after grabbing one of Alejandro's lunches).

Alex is a little better at handling spice than Roach but not by that much. He is getting better, or trying to, for the sake of wanting to be able to eat good food without dying. He insists on trying whatever Farah brings to eat even after she tells him he won't like it. He's sipping on a milkshake afterwards, tears in his eyes. He will keep trying until he can eat whatever Farah has without throwing up. Rudy's cooking scares him.

Graves likes certain levels of heat. He's not the king of spice but he's not afraid of a pepper or by the name of the food on the menu. He will try just about anything and regret it later. He carries around a tiny bottle of Tabasco, the first time he pulled it out in front of Soap caused the man to burst out into laughter.

Ghost actually has a good tolerance, mostly due to his habit of eating anything and everything available. He is not a picky eater so if he's hungry and the only thing available has 'hot' in the name he's not afraid. He desperately wants to be able to eat Annie's gumbo without his tongue going numb (she's offered to make him a not as potent batch and he was insulted). Always wants to try whatever Rudy is cooking despite the man telling him it would probably kill him.

Soap loves food and refuses to let spice be the reason he can't enjoy something. He loves eating food from different cultures, learning to cook those foods. Man is a foodie and he refuses to let spice get between him and a delicious meal. Has begged Annie for her gumbo recipe. Literally has gotten on his knees and begged. She still hasn't given it to him. He literally cried when Annie gave the recipe to Rudy (he's never felt so betrayed and jealous in his life).

Price has years of eating whatever is given to him to thank for his tolerance towards spice. Just loves Annie's gumbo and she makes it hot. He likes to joke she never makes it spicy enough for him (which leads to her next batch almost killing him and he gladly accepts death by gumbo). Price will eat whatever Rudy gives him but he definitely has to prepare himself just in case the man gave him something to his own liking.

Farah loves spicy foods. Her favorite dish growing up was her mother's matbucha and she swears that she could never recreate it, even if she sold her soul. Price has taken to try to help make a batch of matbucha that compares to her mother's recipe but it never works out, Farah still appreciates him for trying. Farah loves Rudy's cooking, literally will fight anyone who tries take take a bite off of her plate. She once sobbed because Annie and Rudy made a meal together (Soap has pictures for proof).

Alejandro prides himself in his ability to out eat Soap in spice. He gets joy out of watching the man give up. There's something about putting his cocky friend in his place that makes his day. Despite eating Rudy's cooking longer than anyone else, Gaz and Laswell seem to handle his husband's more intense dishes better than him. He loves Annie's cooking but he swears that woman is trying to kill him sometimes.

Gaz adores food with spice. He also loves Annie's gumbo but he knows better than to tease her about the spice level. Gaz loves going to different restaurants and doing spicy challenges with Alejandro until they're both too sick from the spice to move. They're always miserable the next day but that never stops them from going out the next week to do it again. Pouts whenever Laswell gets to taste whatever Rudy is cooking before him.

Laswell is pretty damn good at handling spice. Her wife's gumbo is one of her comfort meals. When she is unable to eat her wife's cooking, she turns to Rudy for his food. They have bonded over food and Laswell is now the first person to get a taste whenever Rudy needs a taste tester.

Rudy not only is the king of spice (dubbed that by pretty much everyone who's seen the things he can eat), he makes a killer chiles en nogada. Has a salsa recipe that literally brings tears to Farah's eyes when she smells it. Price thinks about his life's choices before he takes a bite. Rudy isn't cruel, he makes very mild foods for his friends who can't handle the spice well. Laswell is his favorite to give samples to (she always has the best compliments and advice to how to make it perfect). He has Annie's number on speed dial. They have made a ragout that even Laswell had to pace herself on.

#simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick #gary roach sanderson #farah karim #alex keller #rodolfo parra #alejandro vargas #kate laswell #phillip graves #call of duty #cod mwii #modern warfare ii #ask #thanks for the ask <3

[rejectedfables]

"how to reconcile Chu Wanning's cooking skills vs Mo Ran's love of The Wontons", a Guide:

(NOTE: I have only read the first two official English translated volumes, and scoured the internet for spoilers-- if there's later canon confirmation of something that I haven't encountered yet, I don't know her)

Chu Wanning is shown cooking things badly (such as the cabbage and tofu stew), and cooking specific things very well (the wontons). He is also implied to have cooked other things at least tolerably well as Chu Fei. Evidence:

The wontons are described thusly, with the implication that they're just as good every time Mo Ran has had them:

Conclusion? Chu Wanning can cook at least this one thing consistently, and Mo Ran loves it every time. As far as we know Mo Ran is the only one who's ever eaten them, so him loving them is not actually an endorsement that they ARE good-- just that HE thinks they are.

When he's going to make the cabbage and tofu stew, this is Chu Wanning's response to being asked if he even knows how to cook:

Conclusion? Chu Wanning is at least not confident enough in his cooking abilities to claim proficiency. I would be tempted to chalk this up to "he's so skilled at other things and so critical of himself that he's downplaying his cooking skills" except he absolutely flubs the recipe so badly that it's unrecognizable, and everyone who eats it gets sick.

When Mo Ran is half asleep, and believes himself to still be in his previous life with Chu Fei, he says this:

Conclusion? Chu Fei frequently cooked non-wonton food for Taxian-jun, which Taxian-jun enjoyed enough to request more of it.

I've compiled options of what this all might mean when put together:

Probably authorial intent: Chu Wanning isn't a BAD cook he's just a SLOW and METHODICAL cook, and that does not lend itself to batch cooking like he was expected to do in Mengpo Hall.

POSSIBLY authorial intent: Chu Wanning is a REALLY GOOD cook when he knows a recipe, but had never made the cabbage and tofu stew before and had no real instructions, so he fucked it up and got an unfair reputation for being a bad cook. This is a loose parallel to how he is broadly misunderstood as a person.

Sappy/sad option: the wontons are fine but the fact that they were made FOR MO RAN makes them special to Mo Ran. He's associated them with feeling good, and because he thought they were from Shi Mei, his happy memories of them weren't warped or stolen by the flower, leaving them as his favorite memory of food. They're untainted by hatred, and therefore they are the best.

Funny option (not supported by canon): Mo Ran just has bad taste.

Funniest option (not technically UNsupported by canon >_>): Chu Wanning is a bad cook, and frequently hurts himself while cooking. Unbeknownst to Mo Ran, the flower's bloodlust can literally be sated with literal blood. Mo Ran's memories of the wontons are his least tormented by the flower, because while eating them he's consuming Chu Wanning's actual blood, so the flower is sated and pleased. They taste the best to Mo Ran because their secret accidental ingredient (blood) overwrites their actual mediocre flavor.

My favorite option: The reason the wontons are the best food Mo Ran has ever eaten is because they're literally just... all of Mo Ran's favorite foods combined into one dish. Chu Wanning isn't a good COOK so much as he's an encyclopedia of knowledge about Mo Ran. The wontons are perfect because they're perfect for Mo Ran specifically.

#erha #2ha #erha he ta de bai mao shizun #erha spoilers #the wontons #ranwan #chu wanning #cwn #mo weiyu #mo ran #mwy #erha meta #2ha meta

[igglemouse]

Sunday brings another sunny day to Oasis Springs and my morning, as usual, starts with breakfast. This time chicken and waffles. Taking a syrupy bite of them reveals why these things have been sooo popular for my stand. I'm not sure if it's my own skill that's the result of the sweet and savory flavor combustion on my tongue or the waffle cooking thing I use but either way this dish is definitely a simoleons maker.

I do believe you always enjoy your own cooking or at least there is a good chance for it so I'm sure there is some bias in what I am about to say but I should probably consider raising the price of my dishes.

So part of my big plan is to really lean more into variety. The staples of my stand will of course be waffles and pizza, just because they are easy to make on the spot and who doesn't love waffles or pizza? Could I combine the two and...ah, any way, while I could put out more chicken quesadillas I do have to realize that stocking my stand with that every day is going to make it feel less and less special, so today will be something new! Pan Con Tomate! It being unfamiliar around these parts will help its appeal as the curiosity will draw sims nearer which is the first step to making simoleons.

Food, at its best, is an experience. The first thing one experiences is how it looks so if it looks like garbage then one will hold their nose instinctively and not even want to smell it. If it looks tempting then people will linger a little closer to engage their sense of smell. These two, in my very humble opinion, is what gets someone to take a bite.

Of course the most important sense is taste but you won't get that far if you present garbage.

So, part of my presentation today will be something new and fresh. Along with pizza of course, since you really can never go wrong with pizza!

Pizza takes a bit of time to make and just enough time to work on my hip movement. You might not know this about me but I'm a very good dancer! I think I could have even become a professional at it if I wanted as it is just something that comes to me naturally, especially with the right kind of music. If the tunes can't get my hips swaying then I have no time for it!

My plan, which I'll reveal in a moment, has me brimming with confidence, so much so that I spend a little extra on self care. Slicing up lemons and limes and soaking in my cheap but tolerable tub to just enjoy the moment.

My budget is tight, probably far too restrictive to spend too much on bath bombs and other aromatherapy but like I've mentioned, I'm feeling really good about my stand today and I'm betting that I make my simoleons back...

That's right, it was time to take my stand on the road, specifically, to the heart of the town, Oasis Springs park! Today, the heat is not too overpowering and so there are plenty of people just wandering around looking for something to do and hopefully something to eat. So the park becomes a perfect backdrop for my stand and really, so far at least, a launching pad for my reputation here in Oasis Springs.

I'm not here to just make a few simoleons, I'm also here to make my name. I'll be more than the 'Food Stand' girl.

One great thing about being a chef is that you will never lack for food.

I plan on being here all day, I won't leave until the sun does, and that means for a moment I must retreat from work and take a break. I grab a plate of chicken and waffles and dig in, letting bigger plans and grand ideas settle in my mind.

Honestly, when I moved here, the idea of a humble life appealed to me. I wanted to make just enough to have a roof over my head and food in my belly, everything after that would be a bonus...but now that I've had a taste of success, I want more.

Why settle when more is on the table?

The sun does make its leave and I take the more that is offered to me as I work a little into night and only close up when its clear that I've squeezed the park for every simoleon I could.

The result? Well over 800 simoleons, a massive day, far exceeding the measly 100 simoleon goal I've set for myself.

The park may be empty now but my pockets are full!

I make it home with the success of my day fresh on my mind but not forgetting that I chose work over another day out with Pascal. I recall that after he had a big game he called me and shared the excitement of his victory and so I meant to do the same.

The problem? Well, maybe I've called a little too late but he doesn't sound too enthused at the sound of my voice? I tell him about how well I've sold and while he does congratulate me there is an undertone in his voice that I don't quite like, a hint of indifference that didn't match the sincere joy I shared with him the other day when he discussed his assist goal thingy.

I'm not sure what to think of it, perhaps nothing at all? Sometimes we overthink things, especially with men, you know how they can be? It is also pretty late, nearing ten, and he's an athlete so I'm sure he's tired.

Yes, I think I'm overthinking things, and with an ex-lover slipping back into my life the last thing I should do is complicate things...

Episode List - Episode 3 ‘Work It Out’

#The Sims #The Sims 4 #ts4 #Sims #Sims 4 #sims legacy #my sims #generation 1 #soot #sims of our time #frida varela #pascal alcocer #simon barrera

[secondbeatsongs]

new year, new food crime

I hate it when recipe bloggers tell you the entire rundown of their day before giving the recipe, so just to start off, I'm going to put this here:

3 cups of liquid (water + shrimp water) 3 packets unflavored gelatin 1 tbsp vegetable base (or a bouillon of some kind; that'd probably be fine) 1 large handful of shrimps (approx 20) 3 eggs, hard-boiled and sliced 1 small bag mixed frozen vegetables, thawed a gelatin mold or bowl with a capacity of 4 cups

now, looking at this ingredients list you might be asking, "hey SBS, what the fuck did you cook this time?" and to that I say: buckle up.

so I've been watching Arne & Carlos' videos for a bit, firstly because I was curious if they were gay (they seem to be), and secondly because I like their knitting patterns

but their channel isn't just knitting! they also cook together, and it's fun and chaotic, and one of the things they cooked…intrigued me.

I don't know how this dish is spelled. cabaret? kabaret? there are only a few recipes for it online, and most of those are not in english. but essentially, it is a Norwegian aspic with shrimp, vegetables, and hard-boiled egg in it.

what is aspic, you might ask? well, it's…I mean…it's meat jello. that's what it is. you cook meat for a while (some recipes say to use pig's feet, snout, etc), and it makes a gelatinous broth, which solidifies when it cools.

delightful!

however, I am not willing to make aspic from scratch for this, so I substituted it with unflavored gelatin packets. hooray!

(apparently in Norway, you can buy packets of instant aspic! but since you can't do that here, I looked up what ingredients are in instant aspic, and after putting them through google translate, decided "huh, seems like gelatin powder with some kind of bouillon", so that's how I ended up here)

this recipe isn't so much cooking as it is…construction. like sure, you heat up the gelatin, but after that it's pretty much just putting stuff together.

and apparently you can make this with pre-cooked or canned shrimp, but I only had the raw frozen kind, so I put them in a saucepan with just enough water to cover them, heated them until they were fully cooked, and then saved the water from the pan to mix in with the gelatin.

so, shrimpy water + enough water to make 3 cups of liquid, and then I mixed in vegetable base until it tasted…fine. (it didn't taste good, it just tasted…okay.)

then I heated up the liquid in the microwave (in a big 4-cup measuring cup), mixed in the three gelatin packets, and there you go! that's all of the cooking done.

now, for the assembly.

I put some of the shrimp all the way at the bottom of the jello mold, trying to arrange it so that it would look nice. I sliced the hard-boiled eggs, and put the prettiest slices of egg around the edges, sprinkling in some vegetables and pouring gelatin as I went.

…and then I gave up on being artistic, and just kinda lumped everything else in, and covered it with the gelatin mixture.

(unfortunately I didn't think to take pictures of the assembly portion of this, because I was multitasking at the time and got distracted, but you'll just have to trust me that it was a tolerable experience, and didn't look very interesting)

after that I chucked it into the fridge (gently), and left it alone while I streamed with makerrcat for a bit, stayed up way too late, and then passed out in a dramatic fashion.

13-ish hours later, I rescued it from its frigid prison.

hmmm

stare into the murky depths with me for a moment. look at this…nightmarish placid soup. this motionless broth.

one of my egg slices definitely didn't get covered all the way. 

ah, well.

to unmold this monstrosity, I put it in a bowl of hot water for a minute or so, until it seemed like it could pull away from the edges. it really didn't take much, so if you (god forbid) try this yourself, keep an eye on it. gelatin melts fast.

then I put a plate over the jello mold, and flipped it over.

after a few tense seconds, it released from the mold with a slimy kthnk sound.

carefully. nervously. I lifted the mold.

and then I let out an involuntary "oh!" because…

…it's kind of…eerily beautiful?

like in a horrifying sort of eldritch way, it looks…lovely

vegetables and shrimp and eggs, suspended not just in space but in time, preserved and surrounded by a gelatinous cocoon…

I just like staring at it, okay! I just think it looks cool! so here's another picture of it from the side:

the egg slices…the little bits of yolk…enchanting

it definitely smells like food. but it's unclear what kind. vaguely shrimp-vegetable-egg, but muddled

let's cut into it

oh. oh god. it made kind of a…squelch? when I cut it?

hold on, you have to experience this for yourselves

god. deeply unsettling.

now, seeing what the inside is like is kind of interesting! there are places where the gelatin has sort of splintered apart from being cut, and there are gaps where pieces of vegetable have fallen out.

but...how does it taste?

...

fuck.

I really like it

this bizarre combination of textures is weirdly satisfying! the squish of the egg and the gelatin, the slight crunch of the vegetables and shrimp, it's just…good?

the gelatin itself just tastes vaguely of broth, but I don't mind it! I don't know if I would eat it by itself, but with the shrimp, egg, and veggies, it's perfectly okay!

the shrimp, egg, and vegetables of course just taste (respectively) like shrimp, egg, and vegetables, but that's...fine? I like all of these things, so this is pretty enjoyable!

so, some of the recipes I managed to find mention serving it with sort of a mayo-mustard mix, so obviously I have to try that

this...helps? like, it tastes really pleasant?

not that it was bad before, but it remains an enjoyable experience!

and a video that I saw (but could not understand) seemed to show it served on a piece of bread, again with the mayo-mustard.

this is also fine! I enjoy this too! I don't feel like it needs the bread, but it's all right!

this is bizarre.

I think most people would probably hate this. it's got the look of a 1960s party food (which is probably what it is), and "meat jello" isn't a texture that modern society regularly enjoys, but…I love it.

I actually love this.

I kind of understand now why people call dishes like this a "jello salad", because…I mean, I'm eating it, and my brain is saying, "yup. this is a salad" and I have no fucking idea why, but this right here? salad. for sure.

cold, wet salad.

damp, even.

so like...is this objectively good food? probably not.

but is it fun to eat? I think so. 

it's refreshing, somehow. it's light, but also more filling than I expected it to be. I have no idea how much would be considered a reasonable serving, but I intend to figure it out as I go along.

so I'm not saying "go make this!" because although this combination of textures plays well with my brain in particular, I don't think that would be the case for everybody.

but I will be eating the rest of this.

weirdly? weirdly, it's just good.

-

an edit, a few days later:

I have done it. I have consumed the entire thing. and I enjoyed every bite of it.

in fact, I plan on making it again! probably more than once!

food crime? no. food…

(pauses to look up what the opposite of "crime" is)

…food blessing. food virtue. food achievement! food…benevolence.

this is what cabaret is.

at least, that's what it is to me.

(create and consume at your own risk.)

#food crimes #food #beware the tags if you haven't clicked the read more #beyond this point there are spoilers #well. I dunno. can a food crimes post be spoiled? who knows. probably #anyway #you have been warned #cabaret #kabaret #aspic #gelatin #shrimp #by the way #I decided a reasonable serving is about 1/4 of this recipe #that was enough for lunch #serve it with a slice of bread and a glass of milk #and I think that'd probably be enough for dinner #for me anyway #idk how other humans operate #I did genuinely enjoy this by the way #this isn't a joke - I really genuinely loved this #there was something so pleasant about the texture #it's hard for me to explain #but it was delightful #joyous even #and I will make it again #oh! another thing #one thing that's the opposite of ''crime'' is ''justice'' #so it could be ''food justice'' #which is‚ if I'm not mistaken‚ what happens in a food court