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#okay i’ve talked too much sorry i’m going crazy rn because it’s so soon
titsthedamnseason · 1 year
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okay my darlings, you know what time it is…..SURPRISE SONG GAME TIME!!! except this time it’s extra super duper special because this post is actually queued because today is MY SHOW 🤭🫶 aka it’s atlanta n3 therefore i am BEGGING you to manifest the absolute best of your best picks and leave them in the tags or replies for me to see later and then give you an internet smooch if you win 💗 HAPPY GUESSING
i’m going to guess my absolute dream combo of hey stephen and dorothea
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inupibaldspot · 3 years
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Our Snowfall
Pairing: Baji x Reader
Request: OPEN
Note: I cried writing this I’m in so much pain rn 😭
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Baji slowly opened the door,revealing room of white color, with faint sent of medicines and anti-septic's.
Earlier he was playing catch with Mikey outside, but Mikey wanting to show off threw the ball too hard making the ball zoom across the sky as it breaks the window to a hospital room.
Baji was about to shout at Mikey only to find the blonde boy had disappeared without a trace. And now Baji was on a mission to get his ball back.
“I’m sorry for breaking your window.” Baji bows his head from the door.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Baji blinked in confusion. The voice was that of a young child and not an adult like he was expecting. He raises his head to see a small figure ,who looked really weak.
The person smiled. “The ball is on the table there. It would be best if you left before nurse comes back.”
Baji nods as he walks in and takes the ball. He notices that the broken glasses pieces were already picked up and clean.
Baji turns to look at you. “My name is Baji Keisuke. What is yours?”
Your lips curl into a weak smile. “My name is Y/N…”
Baji walks towards you. “Are you sick,Y/N?” His expression was somewhat worried.
You nod. “I’ve been here forever.” You laugh. “Mama told me I can’t go outside because I get sick easily so I stay at the hospital so Mr. Doctor can help me…”
Baji frowned. He was always an active kid who spend most of his time playing around so when he heard that you don’t get to go outside,it made him sad. “Is it okay if I visit you sometime.”
Your eyes widens as color appears on your cheeks,you then smiled brightly. “I would love that!”
True to his words,Baji immediately visited you the next day.
Ever since Baji entered your life,your life has been full of colors. Baji would always talk about how he spend his day,he would talk about his friends and all the crazy thing they would do.
He would always visit you,never making you feel lonely. Along the way he even introduced some of his friends. First he brought Mikey along and then the next Mitsuya and Pachin.
You were scared at first when Baji said they were in gangs but when you got to know them,they were just dorks,lovable and funny dorks.
“I heard this time we are going to have a white Christmas.” You said as you looked outside.
Baji who was cutting apples for you, stopped as he looks at you. “Are you going to be with your parents?”
You shook your head. “Both my mom and dad are going to be busy with work so they said we can’t celebrate it with me this time.”
You smiled as you turned to look at Baji. “But the nurses said they’re going to set up a Christmas tree so I’m excited!”
Baji looks at how your eyes brightened when you talked about the Christmas tree. You looked so happy talking about and that made you seem so much beautiful.
“I’m sure it would look so pretty-“ Your words came to a halt when you started coughing. The coughing never seemed to die down making Baji rush to your side and when it finally did,there were blood in your hands. He looked at you in horror but you didn’t seem to panic,rather you looked as if you were think ‘Not this again.’ As if this happened regularly.
“I’ll get the doctor real quick!” With that he rushes away.
…….
To your dismay the Christmas tree was smaller than expected but nevertheless you enjoyed the cake your parents ordered for you,you ended up eating them with the grandma next door.
Maybe it was because you weren’t with Baji today,the day felt bit gloomier even-though it was such a joyous day. You missed Baji. 
Just when you were about to sleep,tiny knocks were heard at your door. “Psttt, Y/N.”
You look at the door confused. “Baji what are you doing here?”
Before you knew it,Baji makes you wear a thick jacket and cover your neck with a muffler not answering your question.The wide grin on his face perked your curiosity more.
He then kneels in front of you,his back facing you. “Get on!”
“Huh?”
Baji turns to you and he gives you a grin. “I’m going to show you a huge Christmas tree.”
Baji and you then sneak out of the hospital as he carries you to the main town. You gleam at how beautifully the place was decorated. The air outside was cold but it was so fresh, so much frsh as compared to the air in your hospital room.
“It started snowing!” You shouted excited as you raised one of you hand to try and hold it,only for it to melt as soon as it touches you. “The report was right! We’re having a white Christmas!” It was your first time actually being outside when it was snowing, normally you'd only watch the snow from inside.
Places were beautifully lit, decorated with lights filled with joyful atmosphere. Some with their family others on dates. As people start to stare at the sky taking in the entrance of the snow.
“We’re here!” Baji stops walking as he nudges his head at a particular direction.
There at a distance was a huge Christmas tree, decorated with fairy lights, colorful bulbs and small other decorations. “Wow…”
“Beautiful isn’t it-“ Baji stopped speaking as he looked at your expression. Your eyes gleamed as it shone,from all the lights, you nose and cheeks slightly flushed from cold but the most beautiful part was your smile.
You burrowed you face against Baji’s neck,making him feel ticklish but he didn’t mind it rather he love it. “Thank you Keisuke …” He could feel your breath against his neck.
“I’m so glad I could spend the Christmas with you…”
……
“I hate school!” Baji shouts as he messes his hair in frustration. “I don’t know why I have to study this bull shit!” Baji was currently in you room as he worked on his homework while you were reading a book. A pleasant way you guys would spend your time together. It has almost been two years since you guys met.
You laugh at Baji’s expression as you set down the book you were reading. “Come on now~ Don’t say that..I think school must be fun.”
Baji stops as he realizes what he did. You were someone who could never join school after multiple incidents of you passing out or getting rushed to hospitals when you were a kid.
You couldn’t experience school like he did. Baji huffs as he goes back to his books. “Fine… I’ll aim for twenty marks this time.”
“Twenty? That’s not even the pass mark.” You laugh at him. “How about you go for thirty at least.”
“Thats not the pass mark either, Y/N!“
You were about to say something when a sudden thought came into mind. “Keisuke … I actually was watching tv yesterday and I saw someone making a pumpkin themed cake…”
“So I thought I’d want to eat that but I don’t think I can complete it by myself. So how about you join me…?” Your cheeks flushed red.
You were basically asking him out on a date.Sure you guys spend time together alone but you never once made an offer like this to him. It has been months since you figured out you had feelings so Baji but you never really acted on it.
Since the thought of you getting rejected and in turn losing a beloved friend scared you to no end.
“Sure!” You turned your head quickly at his reply. Baji was smiling as well as he continued. “When would it be?”
You smile as you brought your hands together, excited. “I was thinking of October 31..”
“Ah… I don’t think I can join you then…” Baji replied regretfully. “How about November 1?”
“Sure!” As long as you could spend time with Baji, you were happy.
But then that day never came.
That day you waited for Baji to enter the room,with an untouched cake box on the table. The door opens to reveal Mikey,Draken and Mitsuya.
“Baji…Baji died during our fight against Valhalla …”
Would it be funny if you said you ate the cake while you cried? Probably,but that’s what you actually did. Stuffing you mouth with the soft creamy treat as tears pool you eyes.
Days after were as if a curtain closed closed your window, everything felt so much dim and it didn’t help that your condition seemed to worsen.
You were losing weight at an alarming rate,coughing up more blood at frequent rates. You grew increasingly weaker as you parents even took time off their jobs to nurse you.
But at certain nights you would wake up in tears,as you could barely breathe as you searched for Baji,hoping to see him with you in the room. “Keisuke…”
It was a peaceful winter evening ,the air was cold and places were quiet as white snow gently falls in the ground.
People outside were looking and hoping that the snow would set properly. Kids were already outside as they excitedly play out, parents in their homes were making food to warm themselves up.
“Stay with me Y/N!”
People were rushing all over the room as you dad hold your crying mom.
You head felt as if it was going to burst,a strong sense of nausea filled you. Everything you hear and see seemed so muffled and blur.
Despite you body feeling limp, it was twitching. You breathing which was rapid at first seemed to now slow down,accompanied with a strong aching pain.
Then suddenly all those suffering at once disappear.
You entered into a white place,as if each and every part was covered in snow.Your body felt light with no presence of pain that you were feeling just a second before.
 You walked around too see that in a distance was a very familiar person.A person who made you life so much brighter. A person who you enjoyed every moment spend with him. A person you loved.
That person turns around as he expression turns into a frown.
“Why did you join me so early?”
You smile as a tear rolls down your face. “I guess I missed you too much,Keisuke.”
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yayeetsonny · 3 years
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Always Tell The Truth Part 2 ~ USWNT x Reader
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Okay so if you haven’t read the first part of this, which I will put here. Always tell the truth part 1 I suggest you do that, otherwise this one will make no sense. Also sorry... again for being gone so long. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. :)
-N
Previously...
“Those bruises, Y/N, where’d you get them?” 
“I. Don’t. Know.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Fine then, don’t believe me. First Alex, then Christen and now you. This is just great, my teammates think I’m a liar. Well I’m not and I’m telling you the truth.”
I brushed by her and stormed out of the room, now determined to avoid my teammates so they’d stop asking questions and questioning my honesty.
“I’m not a liar. I don’t know where I got the bruises, I don’t know why they won’t believe me.”
Present
After I stormed out of the room I share with Ali I ran... yes literally ran out of the hotel and out into the street. Well okay it was more like the sidewalk but whatever, I’m going for dramatic story telling here. I was angry, hurt and confused as to why my teammates couldn’t just believe me. I’ve never lied to them before, not ever. If something was going on I would have told them. And I genuinely have no clue where these bruises came from, I don’t remember hurting myself badly in practices or games and I don’t do any other crazy activities that would warrant the sudden appearance of severe looking injuries. I knew I just needed to clear my head so I started walking in a random direction hoping to get my thoughts together.
After a while I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and knew it was probably one of my teammates looking for me so I ignored it. My phone stopped ringing only for a short time before it stared up again. This went on for several long minutes before it finally stopped. After each attempt from whoever was trying reach me there was a separate single vibrate indicating they left a message. I felt a little guilty for disappearing and probably worrying everyone but they shouldn’t have assumed or accused me of lying. Thinking they finally got the message that I didn’t want to speak to them I continued walking god knows where trying to think of what to say when I finally decided to go back. I was really deep in thought, trying to remember if and when I got the bruises. Obviously they don’t just appear like magic. They have to be caused by something, but... what? All the sudden I was hit with a vague memory
“Huh?... Wha- where am I?”
“You fell asleep on the couch dear. Don’t you remember? It was really adorable actually. My mom said super sweetly.
That’s weird, she’s never overly sweet with me, like ever.
“No, I don’t remember doing that.”
I looked around and the tv was on, which is also rare. It was playing a random comedy movie. Comedy? My parents don’t even like comedy movies.
“Oh well you did. Right after dinner, you dragged your feet over to the couch and was out like a light before we knew it.” She said casually.
My dad waltzed in like everything was totally normal. What the fuck is going on. Why don’t I even remember eating dinner? How long have I been here? Why does my body hurt so much?
I came back to the present feeling slightly uneasy. I remembered now a little bit of what happened when I got to my parents house and a little bit of what happened after I woke up from my nap. They managed to convince me everything was fine after that and I left assuming they were telling me the truth because I was too tired and too annoyed to argue. But the more I thought about it the more I wondered just how much of what they said is true. Why were there huge gaps in my time with them? And why do I get the feeling that the weird gut feeling I have isn’t a coincidence? I got lost in thought again but it was peaceful this time and quiet which I was relishing in.
Unfortunately the peace and quiet only lasted for a few minutes when I started to get what I assumed were dozens of texts. I finally got fed up and decided to silence my phone completely. When I unlocked it I saw a glimpse of some of the worried texts from the team. They all pretty much said the same thing;
“Y/N please come back. I’m sorry for saying I didn’t believe you. I’m just concerned about you. I want to talk and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Just please come back.”- Ali
“Hey kid, heard what happened. Wanna talk?”- T
“Y/n where are you? I heard what happened and that you left?? please come back, we’re worried.”- Christen
“Bruh what the hell? let’s talk?”- Ash
“where r u?”- Mal
“It’s not safe for you to be out by yourself. Ali told us about the other bruises. Whatever this is we’ll help you. We’re gonna start searching for you if you don’t get your ass back here soon. We love you.”- Alex
And it went on like that as every single member of the team texted me some variation of that and the voicemails they all left were much the same. I started to feel more guilty but let my anger keep me from replying to them. They can stew a little longer.
Meanwhile back at the Hotel...
CHRISTEN PRO//
“Okay, so tell us exactly what happened.”
“I saw the bruises when she was changing, which I happened to walk in on. I don’t think she was expecting me. I asked her what happened and she said that nothing had happened and I asked her about the bruises I saw on her arm, shoulder and spine and she continued to tell me she has no idea where they came from. I told her I didn’t believe her and then she got upset and she just... left.”
“Just like that? She didn’t say where she was going?”
“No, she was so angry she just stormed out and when I tried to follow after her she was already gone.”
“And she’s still not answering her phone. Damnit kid come on, where are you?”
“She’s not safe out there on her own, we have to go look for her.”
“And how are we supposed to find her when she doesn’t have her location on and is doing everything she can’t to ignore us?”
“I have no idea but we have to try.”
“We will, but we should give her a little more time. It’s possible she’s just around the corner cooling off. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”
“You’re right.”
“Guys I hate to steer us back into more serious topics but shouldn’t we be talking about the bruises she has that started all of this?”
“What do you guys think they’re from?” Megan asked.
“I want to believe her when she says she doesn’t know but I mean how can you just not know about bruises as severe as those?” Ash said.
“I mean... I’ve had some pretty bad ones I don’t remember getting from anywhere.” Mal said off-handily.
I saw some of the rest of the team nod silently, indicating that they too had, had the same thing happen to them. And I had to admit that I had my fair share of bumps and bruises that I couldn’t explain because they just seemed to appear but I was still concerned for our youngest teammate as it was getting pretty late and it was already dark outside.
“Oh god, you don’t think it’s her parents do you?” Tobin asked no one in particular.
We all paused for a moment to process what she was implying and I know we were silently hoping, praying that they wouldn’t do that to her. That they wouldn’t beat their own child.
“No, there’s no way. She’s told us that they love and support her and that even though they aren’t around much they still care about her.”
“Right, you’re right.”
“It has to be them though, I mean there’s no other explanation. She didn’t have them before or after practice right?” Alex asked.
“No, she didn’t.” Lindsey said solemnly.
“Do you really think parents can just flip a switch? Just like that? Be caring and supportive one minute and violent then next?”
“It’s possible.”
“No, just don’t even go there. I refuse to believe they would do that.”
“We would have seen the bruises if she had them before, since we all change in the same locker room together for practices and games remember?” I said
“Fuck. When I get my hands on them I swear to god...”
She didn’t get to finish her sentence because Y/n walked into the dining hall where we were all gathered.
“Get your hands on who?” She asked quietly
“Kid...”
“Y/n holy shit, thank god.”
“And she lives!... not the time? Got it.”
“Y/N... we need to talk.”
“Why? There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t know what Ali told you, but I don’t know where these fucking bruises came from okay? I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know that probably isn’t what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. If you don’t believe me that’s fine but i’m not talking about it anymore.”
“Sweetie please just hear us out okay? We’re worried about you and getting defensive about them isn’t helping your case.” I said, trying to reach out for her but she backed away from me.
“Defensive? I’m just upset because you all still don’t seem to get it.”
“We want to get it, please just talk to us.”
“No.”
“Y/N, please just...”
“No! Okay, just no. I said we weren’t talking about it again and that’s final. What happened to “I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.” Huh, Ali? Good to know that was complete bullshit.”
“I’m sorry baby, please believe me, we just...”
“Oh believe you? For what? You clearly still don’t believe me so why should I give you that courtesy? You know what, this is all just fucking stupid anyways. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”
And with that she disappeared up to the room she’s sharing with Ali. Leaving us all more confused and concerned than ever.
“Well... that went well.”
“Shut up Emily, so not the time.”
//End
Okay so yes that is yet another cliffhanger of sorts, I’m sorry but I thought that was a good place to end it. Just know that Y/N genuinely doesn’t remember a lot of what’s going on, just like she says. Her parents are definitely sus asf.
I’m actually writing part 3 rn so that should be up within the next day or so. I know I keep disappearing but my life is totally a mess rn lol. I’m back now tho and am excited to finally get to all the requests I have. Im so sorry for those waiting I haven’t forgotten. Promise.
-N
//
Not edited.
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elliesguitarstrings · 3 years
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Just Friends
Masterlist
Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader
Summary: You and Tom haven’t seen each other since filming Uncharted, and you decide to surprise him at his Jimmy Kimmel interview. Although you’ve always been “just friends,” you can’t help but think there’s something more.
A/N: Hey y’all sorry it’s been a few days since I last posted, I’ve just been super stressed with school and stuff, but I actually really like this fic and I hope you guys like it too!
Warnings: Language, fluff, angst if you squint
WC: 2.4k
~~~~~~~~
It’s been months since you and Tom last saw each other in person.
While filming Uncharted, the two of you had become extremely close, hanging out in each other’s trailers and spending all of your free time together. In such a short period, you had become best friends, but neither of you could deny the spark of something more. Unfortunately, the two of you never got to explore that spark because of the short time limit. After wrapping, you and Tom went your separate ways, him to Atlanta to film Spiderman 3, and you back to your hometown for a well-deserved break.
That doesn’t mean you two haven’t stayed in contact though. You and Tom have texted and facetimed almost every day since you parted ways, or as much as his busy filming schedule allows. Throughout this time, however, you never seemed to discuss the obvious love connection between you two. Without actually speaking about it, you both seemed to agree that that conversation would be better to have in person.
This bring us to today, where Tom is backstage at Jimmy Kimmel, anxiously waiting for his interview segment of the show. He picks up his phone and decides to text you before he goes on to settle his nerves, wishing you were here to comfort him in person.
T: Are you watching the show yet?
Y: yep I already have my tv turned to abc! are you going on soon?
T: Yeah, I’m so nervous though
Y: why? you’ve been on the show before and you’re like amazing at interviews
T: Idk, Jimmy just said “be ready for a surprise” and he looked really suspicious so I’m scared
T: I just hope they don’t bring like Jennifer Aniston out or something because I would totally freeze and make a fool out of myself
Y: lmao that would be kinda funny tho, but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about
T: Okay we’ll see haha
T: Gtg I’m on in 10, I’ll facetime you after I’m done!
Y: kk, good luck tommy :)
T: Ahh thank you!!
What Tom doesn’t know is that you are ten times more nervous than him. While he’s under the impression that you’re sitting on your living room couch watching the show, you are actually in the dressing room down the hall from him.
Last month, when Tom told you he was going to be on Jimmy Kimmel to promote Cherry, you had the idea to surprise him. You emailed Jimmy not expecting a response, but to your surprise, he actually emailed you back and loved your idea.
So, here you are, waiting backstage and shaking with anticipation to surprise Tom. To be completely honest, you’re even more nervous now that you know Tom is expecting some big star like Jennifer Aniston, who you know has always been his biggest celebrity crush. But nonetheless, you shake off the nerves as best as you can, just hoping everything goes well.
“Please welcome our first guest… Tom Holland everyone!” you hear Jimmy’s voice over the speaker in your dressing room.
Now that Tom is on stage, you can safely leave the room without him seeing you, and you head to the side stage, waiting for your cue.
Tom and Jimmy talk about Cherry for a few minutes, and you can’t help but admire him. His voice, his face, his outfit, everything about him is just perfect. And even better, he’s here in person, closer than he’s been to you in a long time. It takes every ounce of self-control in you to stop yourself from running onstage and hugging him now. ‘Only a minute longer,’ you tell yourself.
“So, other than Cherry, what other upcoming projects are you working on?” Jimmy inquires onstage.
Almost there…
“Well, as most of you know,” Tom addresses the audience, “I’m filming Spiderman 3 right now, which has been going brilliantly. It’s definitely going to be the best one of all the Spiderman movies I’ve done. And I just wrapped on a film called Uncharted a few months ago in Berlin, which was so much fun.”
“Ooh, Uncharted, tell us more about that!"
“Yeah, well it’s based on the video game, and I play the main character, Nathan Drake, who’s on a quest throughout the film. It’s a lot like Spiderman in a way, with all the stunts and stuff, and I think it’s going to turn out great, I can’t wait to see it finished.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun! And if I’m not mistaken, you seem to have met a certain Y/N Y/L/N while filming?”
“Oh, Y/N, yeah, she’s great,” he starts to gush, and you immediately smile, “we became friends super fast, and I miss her so much. I wish she could be here right now, but she’s watching from home actually, so hey Y/N!” he looks directly at the camera and waves, as if he’s waving to you through the screen.
That’s your cue. You tiptoe onstage behind Tom, trying your best to shush the immediate gasps from the audience.
“Well Tom,” Jimmy smiles, “I think your wish may have come true.”
“Huh?” Tom looks around, confused, until his eyes land on you, and he completely freezes.
“Hey Tom,” you smile.
“Y/N! Holy shit! You’re here, you’re actually here!” he exclaims, not caring that he just cursed on live TV.
Tom immediately springs off the couch and sprints to you, arms outstretched. As soon as he reaches you, he picks you up in a tight hug and spins you around, both of you laughing. He sets you down, but still keeps you in a tight embrace, not pulling away until neither of you can breathe. He steps backwards to take you in, still trying to fathom that you’re actually here, with him, after all this time.
“Y/N, wha-, how? I thought you were at your house!” Tom can barely form a sentence, smiling wider than ever and completely out of breath.
“Eh, my house was boring. I thought it would be more fun here with you,” you smile.
He pulls you in again, whispering, “I missed you so fucking much.”
“You have no idea,” you whisper back, resting your forehead on his.
The two of you lock eyes, and for a moment, it’s like you are the only two people in the world. You both start to lean in, lips almost touching, when Jimmy interjects.
“Alright, you two, while that was very sweet, we do still have the rest of the show to get through, so why don’t you come sit down,” Jimmy laughs, bringing you and Tom back to reality.
“Right, of course,” Tom responds, trying his best to keep cool in front of the audience.
Tom ushers you to the couch, keeping one hand on the small of your back as he follows you. He keeps his arm around you when you sit, staying as close to you as possible without raising any more suspicions from the audience.
“So, you two, huh?” Jimmy smirks.
“What? Oh, no, Jimmy, we- we’re just friends,” you laugh trying your best to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks.
“I don’t know, that seemed like a little more than just friend behavior to me over there,”
“What do you expect, I haven’t seen her in half a year!” Tom exclaims, saving you from more embarrassment.
“Okay, okay, fine. Just friends,” he turns to the camera and winks, earning laughs from the audience.
“Anyways Y/N, we already talked about Tom, so tell us about you! How was your experience filming Uncharted?” thankfully, Jimmy moves on.
“Well, up until this point I had only really done small indie films, so it was definitely a major change. But Tom was so nice in helping me and it actually turned out to be such an amazing experience, probably the most fun I’ve ever had filming a movie…”
You go on for a few more minutes, talking to Jimmy about your role in Uncharted and your career in general, exchanging small glances with Tom, who just sat back and listened, completely entranced by you.
“Alright, well thank you so much for coming Y/N, it was great to have you! I’m afraid I have to keep Tom for a few more minutes for our next segment, but you’ll have him all to yourself soon enough,” Jimmy smiles.
You laugh, “Thank you so much for having me Jimmy, it was such a pleasure!”
You stand up and hug both Jimmy and Tom, giving Tom a small peck on the cheek before you walk offstage, waving to the audience as you leave.
You smile all the way back to your dressing room, completely overjoyed that you were successful in surprising Tom. As soon as you sat down on the small couch, not even two minutes after you walked offstage, your phone starts blowing up with notifications.
You see that your best friend texted you, so you check that first.
BFF: so you and tom huh? girl why didn’t you tell me?????
Y: what no???
Y: we’re just friends!!
BFF: that’s not what literally all of twitter thinks
Y: wdym? they don’t know anything
BFF: go check rn, i’m telling you they’re going batshit crazy over you two
You check Twitter and immediately see the fans already going crazy over you and Tom.
“just friends”????? bullshit did y’all see the way they almost KISSED?????
TOM AND Y/N I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP
did y’all see the way tom looked at y/n? he’s totally in love omg
UGH I’M SO JEALOUS AKSDHJSAHDSHD I WANT TO BE Y/N SO BAD
they’re so cute help omg
THE WAY Y/N FLEW OUT TO CALIFORNIA JUST TO SURPRISE TOM??? JUST FRIENDS MY ASS
Were you really being that obvious? You quickly call your friend, looking for some advice on what to do, and she picks up right away.
“Okay you were right, they’re going absolutely insane,” you start.
“I mean what do you expect y’all almost kissed on live tv!”
“Shut up.”
“Come onnnnn Y/N, I know you like him and he obviously likes you too so just talk to him! You already know that you two would be the cutest fucking couple ever. Plus you already have the approval of twitter what more could you need?”
You laugh, but you’re still hesitant.
“I don’t know, what if he doesn’t like me back?
“HE. ALMOST. KISSED. YOU. ON. LIVE. FUCKING. TELEVISON. I THINK HE LIKES YOU BACK BITCH!”
“Okay first of all we didn’t almost kiss, and second of all I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Plus how would I even tell him?”
“Okay YES YOU DID ALMOST KISS! And this isn’t middle school! Just tell him how you feel.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about what?”
You whip around and see Tom standing at your dressing room door.
“Fuck I gotta call you back,” you whisper, quickly hanging up the phone.
You turn back to Tom, still standing in the doorway.
“How much of that did you hear?” you ask, blushing profusely.
“Um, all of it I think,” Tom looks down and you immediately start to freak out.
Tom, however, looks back up at you and smirks.
“So you like me huh?”
You stay silent for a moment, a billion thoughts running through your head. You contemplate denying it and staying just friends with Tom. But then you think back to what your best friend told you just a second ago.
“Just tell him how you feel.”
“Yeah Tom. I like you. And not as a friend. This isn’t really the way I intended on telling you, and I get if you don’t feel the same way, but the way I feel about you isn’t just platonic. There’s a connection between us that I felt since the day we met and I can’t help but think that you feel it too. And then today it just got, like, ten times stronger and I-“
Tom promptly cuts you off by cupping your jaw and placing his lips on yours, sending a rush throughout your entire body. His lips feel like heaven, moving ever so gently against yours, and again, it feels like you two are the only people on Earth. The kiss is warm and loving, and although it doesn’t last long, the moment has already been engraved in your mind for eternity.
He pulls back, looking into your eyes, making sure he hasn’t made a mistake, but you only stare back at him ten times more lovingly.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” he whispers.
“Me too,” you whisper back.
He takes your hands in his, “Y/N, I do feel that connection, and I want us to be more than just friends. I always have.”
As much as you are relieved that Tom feels the same way, you can’t help but worry.
“What about the distance? Are you sure we can handle that?”
“Of course we can,” Tom assures you, “I don’t care how far away we are from each other, I love you, and I’m never letting any amount of distance take that away.”
“But these past few months have been so hard without you, and we haven’t even been dating, I just- I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”
“Then move in with me. Come to London and live with me!”
“Okay,” you grin.
“Wait, really?” Tom questions, taken aback.
“Yeah, why not? I mean, obviously we won’t be able to be together all the time because of our jobs, but it’ll be the closest thing.”
“Are you sure? That’s a big commitment to move that far.”
“I’m positive Tom. You’re my best friend, and now, I guess you’re my boyfriend,” you giggle, “I love you too, and I want to be with you, even if that means moving thousands of miles to London.”
Tom smiles, “You called me your boyfriend.”
“Shut up you dork, come here.”
You pull him in for another kiss, still feeling like you’re floating. Your lips once again move perfectly together, as if they’re made for each other. You’re completely consumed in him, and him in you, and in this moment, you know that he is the only one for you. In this moment, you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and only him, and it’s the best feeling in the world.
~~~~~~~~
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heauxplesslydevoted · 3 years
Text
Silent Treatment (Ethan x MC)
Summary: Naomi decides that if Ethan isn’t going to treat her like a valued member of the team, she’ll teach him a little lesson.
Based on chapter 1, some spoilers for chapter 2, and my own speculation, so read at your own risk.
I highkey hate this but I’m posting it anyway
~v~
Naomi is quiet. No, she is unusually quiet. Ethan has seen her get silent when it’s time to buckle down and focus on a task, or if something is weighing heavily on her, but at this point he knows her well enough to know it’s neither of those. She’s withdrawn, and he doesn’t understand why.
Her presence is hard to miss, the young resident has enough charm and charisma in her pinky finger to dazzle an entire room. And she’s never this quiet. Naomi demands to be heard at all times. With unapologetic vivacity. With her hands. Eyes sparkling when she gets an idea, or fiery when she needs to dig her toes into something and fight. Nothing about Naomi Valentine is ever subdued, so why the hell is she so silent?
She didn’t speak much during the last few team meetings. He and Harper have led all of the conversations, bouncing ideas back and forth, building off of each other’s ideas. Occasionally, Naomi would offer input, merely to agree or disagree with a theory, before going back into her shell.
It’s even bleeding into their personal life. For the better part of the past 3 months, she’s stayed with him, the two of them holed up in his apartment in the Back Bay, but now she’s opting to stay at her own place. It’s been going on a few days now, this random despondence, and Ethan isn’t a fan of it. He’d take it a step further and say it's driving him crazy. This isn’t the woman he’s known for the past two years, even at her lowest was she never this reclusive.
As he walks down the halls of Edenbrook, he spots Naomi, her personality back to what it once was. She’s with Ines at a vending machine, and Naomi wastes no time animatedly talking to the now attending about a fun date she went on with her girlfriend.
Heart hammering wildly in his chest, Ethan swallows thickly as he listens to her talk. He’s missed the sound of her voice, the affectionate way her strong accent curls around her ‘r’s’ and dramatically elongates her ‘o’s’. It becomes clear that she’s willing to talk, just not to him. Ethan doesn’t like that idea at all, but it’s the only one that makes sense. And if that’s the case, he needs to get to the bottom of things and remedy the situation.
“Naomi, can we talk please?” He asks once Ines is no longer in their presence.
He doesn’t miss the way she bristles upon hearing his voice. But Naomi nods anyway. “Sure, what’s wrong?”
“Can we talk in the office?”
The walk back to the seventh floor is marked with awkward silence as Naomi refuses to initiate conversation with him. The more time ticks on, the more anxiety settles in Ethan’s chest. What’s going on with her that she refuses to divulge?
The office is unoccupied when they arrive, as Harper has already gone home for the evening. Naomi stands by the door, opting not to settle into a seat or even move further into the room. Everything about her body language reads that she’s poised and ready to strike at any given moment. He frowns. She’s never been this defensive against him, at least when they’re not in the middle of an argument. “What’s going on?”
“Are you okay?”
The question catches Naomi off guard. She blinks slowly before shrugging in nonchalance. “I’m fine, Ethan.”
“You’re fine? Really?”
“Is there a reason why I shouldn’t be fine?”
“Not really, but you haven’t been acting like yourself recently.”
Because you’ve been quieter than a church mouse for the past few days. You don’t talk during meetings, you’re silent when we interact with the patients, it’s like you’ve completely tuned out.”
With the way he’s been acting, Naomi is almost shocked that he even realized what she’s been doing. Wow, so maybe the great Ethan Ramsey hasn’t lost his attention to detail.
“Oh, so you’ve actually noticed?”
“I’m a diagnostician, I notice everything,” Ethan deadpans. He can feel the sarcasm wafting off of her. “What, was this an intentional act for my attention?”
“Intentional, yes. But for your attention? Not necessarily,” Naomi answers.
His eyes narrow at her, his gaze near piercing. She’s playing some sort of childish game with him, first with not speaking and now with the vague half answers. “Okay, so walk me through your thought process. Why has the cat stolen your tongue?”
“I decided that if my input wasn’t going to be valued during team discussions, I might as well not speak at all.”
Ethan gapes at her, confused. Where did that come from? “Naomi, what on earth are you talking about? When have I ever not valued your input?”
“I’m talking about the fact that for the past two cases, I’ve stood on the sidelines while you’ve either cut me off mid-sentence to talk over me, or ignore my presence altogether. I might as well blend into the wall.”
“That’s not–”
Naomi doesn’t give him the chance to refute.  “Please spare me the attempt at arguing. Last week, Harper’s first day on the team, you literally had to circle back to me because you cut me off while I was speaking. And now, we’re working on a case, and you and Harper aren’t even taking this patient seriously! I’ve had to redirect the conversation and tell you guys to focus, because you two were too busy acting like bosom buddies, sharing anecdotes about hangovers, and stupid flamenco lessons, and dates you went on in the past, which is not only inappropriate and disrespectful to the patient’s time, it’s disrespectful to me.”
“So either you are completely oblivious, which I find hard to believe for someone as astute as you are, or you have no respect for me, not just as your colleague, but as the woman you claim to be in a relationship with,” Naomi continues. The floodgates have been opened and now that she’s started, she can’t stop herself. “And maybe it’s the latter, because I set that standard. I’ve let you go days, weeks, months without speaking to me with zero consequence, I’ve let you shut me out and slam doors in my face, make snide comments last year when we were treating Leland, I’ve let you have carte blanche over the pace of this relationship. I’ve always just been here and allowed your shitty social graces and piss poor communication skills to rule, and time and time again, you’ve gone unscathed, but now I’m just really tired of it.”
For the first time in a long, Ethan doesn’t have a clue what to say, and as always, Naomi is the woman who puts him in this position.
“Naomi, you can’t possibly think that I think so little of you.”
He can tell by the way her eyes darken that he put his entire foot in his mouth just now. The warning bells go off in his brain, and he scrambles to think of how he can correct this latest blunder.
Naomi bites down on her lip, and she’s actually shocked her mouth isn’t instantly flooded with the metallic taste of blood. She’s getting Punk’d obviously. The office is bugged, and Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out and announce his presence soon. That has to be it. Ethan has to be pranking her, because there’s no way a 38 year old man could ever be so dense, right? Surely his response to her grievances isn’t to dismiss her claims.
“You know what? You’re being obtuse, and we clearly aren’t getting anywhere, so I’m going to cut this conversation off now.”
She refuses to look like the psycho in this scenario and breathe any more life into this argument, and she’s not about to plead her case any further like she’s the one in the wrong.
Ethan’s eyes soften, and he takes a step forward, arms outstretched to touch, soothe whatever hurts he’s heaped upon her, but Naomi sidesteps, moving out of his reach.
If he wasn’t nervous at the start of this conversation, he is now. If the physical act of Naomi blatantly refusing to touch him wasn’t clear enough, the metaphorical chasm between the two of the just widened by a few yards as well. A chill races up and down the length of his spine.
“Naomi, I’m sorry,” Ethan says gently. “I…” His words taper off and he pauses, struggling for what he wants to say next. This has never been his strong point, being vulnerable.
And Naomi doesn’t offer him a lifeline. She’s not going to give him an out or assuage him of anything he’s currently feeling like she usually does. She’s laid out all of her cards, and things are in Ethan’s court at this point. Like always. 
“I’m going home,” she announces. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
~v~
The sun is barely out when Naomi shows up for work in the morning. Most of the hospital is still, the last of the night shift heading out as she’s on her way in. She heads towards the residents’ lounge, wanting to put her things away before checking in on her patients and having a team meeting.
As soon as she opens her locker, she spots a gorgeous bouquet of red roses wrapped in newspaper invading the space. There’s no note attached to the bouquet, and she spared a quick glance around the room to see if anyone else is there. The lounge is empty, save for another resident in the corner, sleeping.
Naomi takes the bouquet out of her locker, careful not to smash the petals and holds it up to her nose, inhaling deeply. 
Deciding to not put more thought into where they came from, Naomi simply cradles the bouquet in the crook of one of her arms, stuffs her bag into her locker, and continues on with her morning routine.
She’s passing by the nurses’ station on the 7th floor when someone catches her attention. “Oh Dr. Valentine! You have a special delivery.”
Her steps slow down as she approaches the front desk where Sarah, one of her favorite RNs is stationed. Sarah steps aside, revealing an even larger bouquet of roses, these ones white.
“Where did these come from?” Naomi asks.
“They were delivered about half an hour ago,” Sarah replies with a wink. “No note, though. I won’t let Dr. Ramsey know that you have a secret admirer.”
And that’s when it clicks into place. Memories of her fight with Ethan come flooding back, and it becomes clear that he’s the one gifting her these flowers. Before she even realizes she’s doing it, her eyes roll. If he thinks a couple of bouquets of roses are a good enough apology, he can think again.
Naomi plucks a white rose right from the center of the bouquet and hands it to Sarah. “For you.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“I insist,” Naomi says. “Happy Friday, Sarah.”
“Thank you, Dr. Valentine!”
Seeing the smile on the senior nurse’s face is almost enough to cleanse Naomi of the annoyance she feels towards Ethan in this moment. After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Naomi manages to scoop up this new batch of flowers – they’re in a vase, to which she adds her red ones – and finishes her trek to the office.
She isn’t expecting it to be covered in bunches of bright yellow sunflowers.
Their communal desk is covered in them, along with Ethan’s personal desk and the couch. “What on earth was he thinking?”
“I was thinking that sunflowers are your favorite flower,” Ethan answers, and Naomi jumps, startled at his voice. She whips around and sees him standing in the doorway. “And so I got up well before the sun was shining, went to the Boston Flower Exchange and bought every single one I could get my hands on.”
“And the roses?”
“White is supposed to be symbolic of new beginnings and forgiveness,” Ethan explains. “And you simply can’t go wrong with red.”
“If you think buying me flowers is going to cut it, you must not know me well,” Naomi says. Him buying her things doesn’t impress her, no matter how much she jokes about his money.
“No, but I figured it couldn’t hurt.” Ethan takes a cautious step into the room, shutting the door behind him. A sleepless night without her beside him forced Ethan to do a lot of thinking about how he wanted this conversation to go. A peace offering is always a good start. “And it got you to talk to me.”
Naomi scoffs and sets her flowers down. “Barely.”
“I’m sorry,” Ethan says. “I’m an idiot, and an asshole.”
“It’s good that we can agree on something.”
Okay, it’s clear that she is not going to give him any leeway. “You were absolutely right to call me out on my behavior towards you.”
“Why did you do it?” Naomi asks.
“I wasn’t thinking,” Ethan says simply. “I got so caught up in having Harper on the team, and it’s easy to slip back into old habits without even realizing.”
“It wasn’t a simple one time thing. It was more than once that you and Harper completely forgot I was even there. And I like Harper, I don’t think I could respect her more than I already do, and I have a very healthy sense of self esteem, but even the toughest person on earth wouldn’t like being in my shoes, on the outside looking in while you and your ex reminisce on old dates and inside stories. Ethan, you couldn’t handle a modicum of the shit I have willingly put up with in order to be with you.”
His stomach knots up at the thought of an ex-boyfriend of Naomi’s coming into his personal space, sharing personal jokes with her, ignoring him, and monopolizing her time. If the thought of it had him this twisted, he can’t believe he’s been putting her through that reality.
“You were right to call me out on my bad communication skills. I am terrible at relationships. I’m not using it as an excuse, it’s just the truth. But I’ve gotten complacent, which is unacceptable.” Ethan takes another step towards Naomi, and when she doesn’t instantly recoil, he takes it as a sign to get even closer. “The last thing I ever want to do is stifle your voice, or make you feel invisible. Naomi, you are...invaluable. To this hospital, to this team, to me, and I am so sorry that there was ever a time where I made you feel like you weren’t. You are the most important person in my life, and what we have is something I’ve never had with anyone else.”
“Okay, so start acting like it,” Naomi challenges. “I’m your equal and I demand every bit of respect you have to offer. Anything less than that cannot be tolerated anymore, personally or professionally.”
Ethan nods emphatically at her words. “Of course.”
“I mean it.”
“You have my word, Naomi. I’ll never let it happen again.” He closes the gap between them and cups her face in his hand. “Just please...never give me the silent treatment again. Yell from the rooftops, argue with me, I don’t care, but I can’t take not hearing your voice.”
“You needed to be taught a lesson,” Naomi says simply.
“I learned my lesson, and I hated it,” Ethan confesses, his lips dangerously close to hers. Naomi doesn’t budge, not even an inch. She’s terribly stubborn, even at the end of a fight. “It was torture.”
“Good.” Deciding to put him out of his misery, Naomi tilts her head up and captures Ethan in a kiss. He doesn’t waste a single second returning it. His free hand wraps around the small of her back, pulling her in closer. How did he go this long without touching her?
He doesn’t know how long they’ve been kissing, but he finally breaks apart from her long enough to bury his face in her neck, allowing her scent and soft skin to soothe any of his fraught nerves. She smells like home.
“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” Ethan asks.
“The jury is still out on that one.”
“You’re going to make me work for this, aren’t you?”
“Are you up for the challenge?”
Ethan untangles himself from their embrace and takes a step back, so he’s able to look Naomi in the eyes. He takes her hand and presses a soft kiss into her palm. “For you? I’ll do just about anything.”
~v~
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wcnderlnds · 3 years
Text
better with you / colin zabel x reader.
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Pairing: Colin Zabel x Reader Description: Colin goes to his reunion, gets drunk and you end up having to take him home. Warnings: alcohol mentions Word Count: 1165 A/N: hello i love colin zabel with my whole heart so expect more fics of him. again ya girl is sick and writing is the only thing keeping me sane rn so if its garbage we blame that.
Paperwork was your least favourite part of the job but Mare had given you the task of going through and filling out things that needed to be filled. It wasn’t like you could protest either — you were under Mare’s guidance. See, you had worked in the precinct for the better part of two years now. Most of the time you were situated at a desk but wanted to do more. Mare had seen how dedicated you were and decided that maybe she could teach you the ropes, get you out there on the field. After all, you had all the qualifications there just wasn’t use for so many detectives in Easttown. That didn’t mean there couldn’t be another. Honestly, Mare could use the help especially with the case she was on now.
They’d brought in a County Detective by the name of Colin Zabel. He was a good guy, best at his job but Mare wasn’t too keen on him. She didn’t trust him — she didn’t trust anyone, to be honest. But, you and Colin seemed to get along really well. You laughed at his dumb jokes, he was always willing to stay late and help when you were swamped with paper work — it was nice to have him around. You hadn’t had someone like that in a while. Most of your friends had moved out of town or had families that they spent their time with so Colin’s company was more appreciated than he’d know.
Besides, he was cute and there was the slight chance that you were harbouring a small crush on him. Mare knew it, too. Every time she caught you laughing at one of his stupid jokes or saw how you blushed when he said something nice about you she couldn’t help but roll her eyes.
“Don’t stay too long, (Y/N), okay?” Colin’s voice caused you to lift your head up from the paper you’d been focused on. He sat on the edge of your desk, jacket slung over his shoulder.
“I’ll try not to,” you smiled. 
“If I didn’t have this reunion, I’d stay,” he sounded almost sad at the fact that he couldn’t stay behind. Instead, he had to go spend time with his friends but all he wanted was to be with you.
“It’s okay! Go have fun.”
With a smile, he left you alone to finish what you were doing. Only a few officers were left around the precinct. They were the unfortunate ones who’d taken the night shift which would mostly end up being calls to stop bar fights and the odd home call. One of the officers brought you over a coffee to which you thanked them with a kind smile.
*****
It must have been only three hours later when you got a phone call from Mare. She’d informed you that Colin was at the bar she was at and in pretty bad shape. Apparently, he was drunk out of his mind talking about an ex fiancee. Colin had only spoken a handful of times about his ex but you knew it was a sore subject for him. That’s why you found yourself in the bar. Eyes scanned the place and soon enough you found Colin at the bar, leaning against it to hold himself up.
You made her way over to him, sliding past people in the crowded bar. He looked up and a bright smile adorned his face when he noticed you sit on the stool next to him. “Well, hello, pretty lady.”
“Hey, Colin,” you chuckled. “You doing okay?”
“Me? I’m fine. Completely fine. Hey, barkeep,” he waved over the bartender. “M’lady here will have a white wine and… just give me more of that… that drink I was drinking earlier. I can’t remember.”
You glanced at the bartender, subtly shaking your head to let him know that you didn’t want the drinks and that you were going to get Colin out of there. “I’m guessing the reunion went well?”
“Uh, yeah. I mean, I saw my ex but… pfft.”
“I’m sorry, Colin,” you placed your hand on his that was resting on the bar. His eyes shot down to your hands then back up to your face. 
“I… just… I don’t get it, y’know? How do you wake up one day and not love someone anymore? Am I not good enough?” his eyes watered, his hand fully holding yours now. 
It broke your heart to see him like this. In your eyes he deserved the world and nothing less. This man was nothing but pure heart. He gave his all to everything he did, he was friendly to everyone he met and he never once treated anyone like they were below him despite being one of the best detectives around. It was all of that that made you have feelings for him. All you wanted to do was tell him how incredible he was.
“Listen to me,” you started, bringing your free hand to rest on his face, thumb gently brushing across his cheek. “You are more than good enough for anyone. I’ve never met someone so… selfless. You have a heart of gold, Colin Zabel. Anyone on this planet would be lucky to have you. I…I’m lucky to just know you. My life has already been better for it. She didn’t deserve you and it’s her loss. One day she’s going to realise she lost the best thing in her life and I know that because every day when you walk into that office, my day is instantly brighter. You are… just, the best person,” each word was spoken softly, eyes never leaving his.
It seemed like your words had sobered him up slightly. Not enough for him to think rationally because once you’d finished speaking, he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours in the softest, most gentle kiss. Fireworks exploded in your stomach, the sparks between you two more than you’d ever thought they’d be. It was short but it was enough. Besides, he was drunk. There was a high chance he wouldn’t even remember any of this in the morning. That thought broke your heart but you tried not to think about it.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” He hung his head.
“It’s okay. Come on. Let’s get you home,” you got to your feet, putting your arm around his waist for support.
“I’m lucky to know you,” he smiled his little drunken smile at you as he threw his arm around your shoulders. “The world sucks but every second I spent with you makes it suck that little bit less. I…, man, I’m crazy about you. So crazy about you.”
Colin kept drunkenly rambling as you helped him home. You tried not to dwell on what he was saying too much considering how drunk he was but what you didn’t know was he meant every single world and he would be sure to tell you the next time he was sober.
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dearest-kibble · 4 years
Note
yan kenma who has you locked up in his apartment- it’s been some time and you’ve given up escaping but you know he live-streams so you kind of start living small clues that you’re there in hope someone will figure it out? but instead of a viewer kenma finds out; and instead of stopping you he just decides to taunt you and play along to the point his viewers make it an inside joke- the emotional rollercoaster that would be? he wouldn’t have to punish you- the crushing despair is enough alone
This is so deliciously fucked up I love it,,, thank you anon, Kenma hits so different. I love him thank you so so so much. i am working on so much,,, thank you for being patient with all my uhhh lateness? this kinda became something a little different than the prompt but hopefully thats good?
Kenma Kozume x Fem reader
tw: Typical yandere-ness, humiliation? Sexism? Mentioned stalking, (If im missing anything please let me know my brain isn’t functioning rn)
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You’re sitting on his lap, camera angled so that no one’s view is obstructed by your body, but so that all his views can clearly see you. You’ve been here so long, any hope of leaving, ironically, has left you. But, the thought crept slowly, surely, deeply into your brain and hasn’t left. You turn around on Kenma’s lap, straddling him and you’re sure the live chat is going a little crazy at the thought of Kodzuken having someone in his lap while he streams and he’s probably going to tell you to get off soon, but you’ve got the chat’s attention, and you are going to work with it. You tap Kenma’s cheeks, slight squish on them and you know he hates that it’s on camera all the same, you drum three fingers on his cheek, smiling at him for the camera as your fingertips meet his clammy skin. He doesn’t tell you to stop so across his cheek you swipe your thumb three times as tenderly as possible. As you stand from his lap, you pat his cheeks, three times delicately. You look into his eyes, still as calculating as when you met him, a deceptively warm amber with the tiniest hint of frustration (and somewhere inside, you know it’s probably with you but you can’t care.)
“I’m gonna sit on the couch, ‘kay?” You call softly, hoping you were subtle enough with your plea.
“Oh, okay,” And you think you’re free before he calls a “Wait! Come back for a little.” You’re even halfway to the couch before the words rope you back in. He beckons you to lean down, and whispers into your ear. “I noticed you trying to sign to get out. Morse code isn’t as subtle as you think, you might as well just ask them to get you out,” You chance a quick look towards chat.
“Was that morse code?”
“Holy shit! Yeah, I think that was SOS.”
“You think they actually need to get out or it’s one of those ‘my bfs terrible’ jokes?”
“You see the way they were straddling? Def not a hate my bf sorta thing.”
“See?” He’s still whispering into your ear, game forgotten in lieu of what might be called humiliation.  “They won’t believe you because you want to be here. Regardless of what you say, you would’ve left already if you didn’t.” He smiles at you and affectionately pats your head. Like he’d pet a cat. The idea is still in your mind, though perhaps a little shallower. You glance at the chat once more, someone is still talking about it, but Kenma pushes you away with a “I’ll get you when I’m done, okay?” You end your night on the couch with Kenma. He smiles at you and puts your legs on his lap.
The next livestream is two days after the last one. You have something planned once more, hopefully more effective.
“I’m playing minecraft today, I could set up your computer, and we could play together?” His small smile is back. And though a kind gesture, all you can think about is how easily you could make a point.
“Okay!” The earlier plan is immediately forgotten, and thoughts of what you could do in a game, fills your mind. “Will I have a mic?”
“No, I can’t have you telling them can I?” And it clicks, because of course he’d taunt you. But it’s like your brain grew claws that cannot lose their hold.
“Will I have a camera?” And you know the answer, but Kenma might still surprise you. You’ve already had one shock tonight, maybe you’ll get another.
“No. Sorry. You have chat though.” He pats your head again, ruffling your hair. “I’ve already got you set up, c’mon.” He tugs at your hand, pulling gently.
“Thanks Kenma.” He’s put another computer across from his desk on a much smaller table made for playing cards.
“You’re all set up.”
“Yeah.” He clicks the mouse a few times, waves at the camera to his right. “Can everybody hear me?” He waits a few seconds for chat’s response. “Chat is saying yes, so let’s get right in?” He smiles sheepishly to his camera.
“Hi everyone, I’ m Kodzuken and today we are,” He pauses to look at you with honeyed amber eyes. “Playing Minecraft with my partner.” He nods in your direction. You just open the minecraft tab, the only shortcut that seems to be on the computer.
“It’s a LAN server, click that, okay?” So you click it and say nothing. You start to go through the motions of chopping a tree, making sticks, making a crafting table. Kennma is narrating what he does, and you’re not even sure where he is in game until you're knocked back and turn your mouse to look at him.
“Yeah, I know - she should be relying on me.” He’s responding to something in chat, he’s gotta be. You type a quick,
“What’re they saying?”
“Oh, that my girlfriend shouldn’t be so independent, you rely on me - I'm your boyfriend.” Kenma says it so casually, so acerbically that you immediately take off sprinting from the forest in game.  
“She has these bouts - you saw them last stream - where she likes to try and ‘get away’.” Kenma laughs softly; little glockenspiel notes falling from his mouth. “It’s a really cute joke honestly! Anyway, I’ll put my minecraft bed next to hers later, right now...” You stop paying attention and start planning how you’d try to get your point across more clearly. You could make signs, say “Get me out!” Like Kenma suggested.
“Hey! He looks over the screen at you, piercing eyes staring right through you. “Don’t go off on your own, we’re staying together alright?”
“No.” He’ll have to deal with chatting, possibly hearing you by himself. And you continue through the coded forest. It goes pretty smoothly, though you’re sure Kenma is trying to find you, you’ve already created a mine for yourself, and made a little sign with instructions that reads: “Get me out!”
“Her voice is quite cute, isn’t it? I’ll get to hear it for the rest of my life.” He continues humming out yes’s and no’s to his audience that sit captivated in a land of blocks and pixels.
“Hey, I’m going to use the restroom, is it alright if my girlfriend takes over for me?” He stands, and waves you over into his chair that’s been made for gaming and padded with red accents. He watches you with his cat-like eyes as you sit down and pats your head. “I’ll be right back Kitty, behave.” And you hear his soft footsteps get farther away and the creak of the door twice before you finally look at chat.
Woa, Kudzu got lucky huh?
“Please,” You don’t sound nearly as someone might think you would. You’ve been here too long. “Get me out of here?”
Sure sweetheart, just come over to my place first.
“Just - get me away from him please!”
Girls are so whiny huh?
Hey man, its funny at least amiright?
“It’s not a joke -”
She’s really committed to this bit huh
Damn iim staartin to feel bad for ken
Me to :(
“I’ve been here for year and I don’t want to-”
Wow. what an ungrateful bitch.
Ikr? She’s got a bf and everything and she wants to get out?
“No- it’s not like that - he stalked me for months I-” And the familiar desperation you thought hoped beyond all hope that you had lost bleeds back into your voice all repression surfaces like the tide in your eyes.
Oh fuxxx we made her cry.
relax bet she’s just on her period or smth
“I am not!” A bubble of snot pops from your nose and mucus drips uncomfortably to your lips. “I just-”
What could you want that you don’t have.
“My house! My job! My friends!” And your voice breaks
She wants to go back to a job?
Crazy lady huh.
She wants friends when all she really needs is a man? smh.
“Kitten, what-”
“Leave me the fuck alone!” It’s an outburst that you’ll regret later, for one reason or another. But for now it’s a small comfort to speak your mind. With your voice wavering and congested, you choke out a “Let me go home.” Kenma’s eyebrows furrow but his eyes are still the calculating, cold amber they always are.
“Shh shh, it’s okay.” Instead of the quick pats he’s so fond of, he strokes your hair and massages the nape of your neck like he’s picking up a kitten who's gotten into a fight. “I’m going to cut the stream, okay?”
Who’d want to leave Ken, he’s cutting the stream short to help his gf.
…….yeah
I feel bad.
“You should. Please don’t make her cry.” A few clicks later and the stream cuts. “Do you want me to upload that one?” To get your message out? You’d do anything.
“Yes please…” Someone will have to see it. How miserable you are.
“Then it’ll go up, okay?” He pats your back twice, and he stands again to sit at the computer. Out of the blue he speaks again. “They’re right.” No no no no no. “I’m lucky, i’m so glad you're here with me and that you won’t leave.”
“I will get out!” The proof of your white hot anger is breaking the dam built in your throat.
“Where will you go? Your friends don’t know where you’ve gone, they won’t be happy with you coming back unannounced.”
“My parents-”
“You can rely on me, you don’t need anyone else.”
“But I-”
“Shhh kitty, you’re overreacting let’s get you to bed, you’ve had a stressful day.” And so he walks you back to the room you share that's covered in pictures, and he tucks you under the covers and dries your tears with a blanket. He whispers words to you, faint little nothings about games he’s going to play that you’ll enjoy watching and little bits of trivia about what “Kuroo” is up to. Eventually you fall asleep, with his hand in your hair and a chair pulled up close so he can stare. You both know it but no one will admit, some part of him will always enjoy how you lose hope so quickly.
--
once again! This should not’ve taken so long,,,, and it kinda deviates from request but! there we are! also,,,, you can’t tell me that like,,,,,,, kenma hasn’t been at least exposed to incels and or like,,,, really sexist guys he streams on twitch or youtube or something so- also thank you anon,,, i really like this one
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juniorfics · 3 years
Text
Savior
I'm not sure when this was supposed to be set but let's say it's 2 years after Tamaki graduated from UA (so Deku and the others are third-years rn) and ur the same age as him so like 21/22
By: J
Tamaki Amajiki x Fem!Reader
Wordcount: 1.6k
Quirk: Toxic (Adding any of your cells to water makes it very poisonous.)
Warnings: Kidnapping
Sometimes you wished you had a different quirk, or even no quirk at all. Your quirk was dangerous, but since it was pretty easily controlled, you weren't bullied as much as some people you knew. Of course, there were always people who seemed to be angry at you for simply existing, but they never bothered you too much because you knew that you would never hurt someone on purpose. You'd always admired heroes, but you knew there was no way you could be one with your quirk. It might have worked if you could control the toxicity of the poison created from your cells, but you couldn't. It was immediately fatal, and there was no cure.
Your mom was quirkless and you had the same quirk as your dad. Growing up, you and your dad had to be incredibly careful not to touch water, and clean it up as quickly as possible. The poison you made wasn't toxic to either of you but it would be to your mom. Thankfully, you had never killed anyone with your quirk. Your grandma on the other hand- she was the first one to be born with the quirk, then your dad, then you. Your grandma accidentally killed her dad when her quirk first manifested. She had to figure out how to keep everyone safe from her quirk on her own.
You were older now and you lived on your own. You were single and ready for a relationship, the only problem was that you were in love. 'How is that a problem if you want to be in a relationship with them?' you ask? Well, you were in love with the pro hero, Suneater. He had saved you when your workplace burned down, and ever since then you'd followed all his cases. Not in a stalker kind of way, but simply to learn about him. As soon as you first saw his face through the smoke, you knew you wouldn't be able to forget him. You knew you should move on because, 'Hey, he's a pro hero. He's famous. He probably doesn't even remember me anymore,' but you just could not get him out of your head.
                                                         ~
Little did you know, Tamaki couldn't get you out of his head either. Why? It wasn't like he knew you well or anything. You had only talked briefly that day. Why couldn't he stop thinking about you? 'Should I try to find her somehow?' he asked himself. Even if he did manage to find you, would you think it was weird? Would you even remember him? He didn't know what to do.
                                                        ~
You were walking home from work. It was dark outside, but you didn't live far. You passed by the same shops and the same houses as every other day. The same dark alleyways. However, one thing was different today. The person who'd been patiently watching and waiting was ready to make their move. You felt a hand on your shoulder and tried to cry out in surprise only to have your mouth covered by a cloth. You tried to hold your breath, but quickly failed and sucked in. Your vision was fading. Everything was going dark.
                                                        ~
Tamaki flopped down on his bed still fully clothed in his hero costume. He'd just gotten off patrol. He rubbed his face, 'Ugh, I probably smell terrible. I should shower.' He lay there with his eyes closed for a moment. All of a sudden, his keen ears picked up what sounded like a woman's scream. His eyes flung open and he ran out the door. He reached the alley just in time to see a long, leather coat whip out of sight. He followed. It was a white-haired man carrying an unconscious, (h/c) woman. He followed close enough to keep sight of the man, but not so close that the man would be able to sense him. The man looked left and right, and Tamaki recognized him. It was Dabi from the League of Villains! 'What does the League want with that woman?' He asked himself. 'Whatever it is, it can't be good. I should let someone know where I'm going in case things go south.' He quickly texted Mirio the situation. Dabi stopped and entered a building. Tamaki pressed his ear to the door, it would be dangerous to barge in without knowing who or what was in there, so he waited, listening.
                                                         ~
You started waking up. In your groggy and disoriented state you could feel cold metal around your arms and legs.
"What's happening? Where- where am I?" you asked.
"Ah, y/n! Finally awake are we?" you couldn't see anyone and you didn't recognize the voice. Who could've brought you here?
"Who are you? How do you know my name? Where am I?" you asked franticly. Dabi stepped out of the shadows, "Don't you know me? I think my group and I have become quite well known," you gasped. You did recognize him now. He was-
"Dabi?! From the League of Villains?!" He bowed, "The very one," you didn't know what to do. You were completely in shock.
"But- what does the League of Villains want with me? I don't have money or power or anything..."
"Oh, but you do have power, y/n. We've been watching you and we think you could be very useful to us. We could use your poison in many different ways, if you'll join us, of course?" This left you more shocked. The League of Villains wanted you to join them? What?
"I would never join you. I decided a long time ago to never use my quirk. It's too dangerous," you said.
"Too bad," he sighed, "We're going to have to keep you here until you change your mind," now you really didn't know what to do. Should you say you'll join them and then escape? Should you wait for help? You chose the latter. You stared determinedly into Dabi's blue eyes.
"I won't change my mind, you know,"
"I wouldn't be so sure. You might after you get to know us better," at that moment the door was blown in. A hero! You were saved! Then you saw which hero had come. Your heart started pounding until you could feel it in your fingertips. Suneater. He looked you in the face and you saw his eyes widen. Did he remember you? He shook his head and turned toward Dabi. "Let her go," came Tamaki's quiet voice. "You really think I'm gonna let her go just because you asked?" Dabi rolled his eyes,
"Get ready to fight, hero!" Dabi's hand lit up with his fire and Tamaki's fingers turned into tentacles. They started fighting fiercely. You knew that you should or be paying attention to the fight happening in front of you, but your thoughts were on Tamaki. How did he find me? Did he follow Dabi here? Was that look because he remembers me? What kind of look was that? Oh, no! What if it was bad! What if the look was because he does remember me but doesn't like me! Why would he not like me?! We only talked for a minute! Was my first impression really that bad? Thoughts like these swirled around in your head, making you dizzy. Or maybe that was the smoke and chloroform, you weren't sure. Eventually you felt a soft hand on your cheek.
"Hey. Hey! Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Suneater was talking to you!
"You- you're here! I- I'm okay. He didn't hurt me just knocked me out with chloroform and brought me here," you said, rather breathlessly. "Where's Dabi?"
"He ran."
"O-oh,"
"Can I h-help you out of those chains?"
"Yes, please," he cut the chains with a crab claw, you tried to stand but your legs gave out. He caught you.
"W-woah, hey, take it easy. You're shaking,"
'That's because you're so close to me!' You thought. He was so close. He was holding you in his arms. You had dreamed about this. Even if this isn't exactly how you planned, you were so happy and excited to see him again.
"We should stop meeting like this," you heard him say.
"Huh?"
"Oh, I guess you don't remember. I saved you from a burning building before. About a year ago. I've been hoping to see you again but I didn't know-"
"Wait you remember me?"
"W-well yeah. If I'm being honest, I haven't been able to get you out of my head,"
"Really? I... well I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either," you were both blushing like crazy.
"Can I take you out?" He asked.
"YES! Uh-um I mean yes, I would like that very much," you beamed at him. He beamed right back. He was feeling very good. You both couldn't wait.
                                                 ~Le time skip~
You and Tamaki have been married for a year now. You had never been happier. Everything was going great. You lived your life worrying about your husband but you were confident that he'd always come back to you. Everything was perfect. That's how it seemed anyway. Dabi was back. The League still wanted to use your quirk. Be careful.
I FINALLY FINISHED THIS I'M SO SORRY I kept forgetting about it and I finally finally finished it! I probably won't write a part 2 to this cause I'm lazy but I might. Thanks so much for the request :) (also I would've said u and Tamaki were gonna have kids but personally I want to adopt so I just didn't put it in there at all) I hope y'all like it! The end is maybe a little rushed but (as I've mentioned before) I'm too lazy to do anything about it.
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hatsukeii · 4 years
Note
One where y/n has been obviously in love with Tsuki since they were kids and not afraid to show it, but he’s always been lowkey mean to her and thinks she’s annoying and then finally years later she decides he’s not a nice guy and let’s him know she’s fine with all that crap and then he realizes he’s falling for her and does something really sweet for her and they fall in love? 😭😭🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ty in advance. Sorry if this is too long or specific, if it is, feel free to ignore
I genuinely hope you didn’t think I would actually ignore this<33
IM SORRY IM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR ILY ALL AND YOU ALL DESERVE AN APOLOGY FROM ME
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Dear diary//Tsukishima Kei x Reader
Word Count: 1.4k+
Warnings: Cursing
Genre: Angst??? I guess???
Summary: He’s an ass, but you still love him to bits, and it’s killing you.
July 16, 2008
Dear Diary,
I got to play with Tsukki again! He had his dino with him, it was super cute! He told me his front teeth came off last night, and there’s a big hole in his teeth, but it’s okay, because he said it will grow back. I tried to hold his hand while going down the twin slides but he said it was sweaty, so next time I’ll wear gloves!
You flip through the hot pink diary, cringing at your young infatuation. Your diary entries were cringey as fuck, but they always rekindle something within you whenever you read them. You can’t even remember when you stopped writing in the book. Was it when you turned 10? Maybe 12? You don’t have a single clue.
April 30, 2011
Dear Diary,
Tsukki refused to marry me in the playground at break:(( I’ve known him for so long though, aren’t we supposed to get married? I just wanna hold his hand and hug him and give him a biiiiig kiss<33
Chuckling at the memory, you recalled the event from that entry clearly. You were seven years old only, still an immature kid. You still thought that getting married in a middle school playground was a huge milestone in life, almost as crucial as a legal marriage.
May 29, 2016
Dear Diary,
Love how Tsukki didn’t even remember my birthday:,) Must be nice getting made fun of. Half the students in my class felt my second hand embarrassment from when he completely forgot about it. God, why am I even in love with this asshole? I’m gonna have to go to school tomorrow and deal with all my classmates making fun of me for being hopeless. Brb, currently digging a hole for myself:)
Frowning at the memory, you think back to when you were twelve. He was an asshole then, still is an asshole to this day. And yet not an ounce of your unconditional love and support for him has faded. Grabbing a tissue, you wipe the remaining tears from your eyes, ignoring the dried tear stains on your cheek. Your hand slams onto the bedside table, lazily feeling for your phone. Tilting it towards your face, you sigh at the empty lock screen, accepting defeat. Flicking through the rest of the book, you are welcomed by pages and pages of white. “So that’s when I gave up on this diary...” you mutter to yourself as you lift yourself up from your bed. Heading towards your desk, you absentmindedly grab yourself a pen, notebook in hand. Slamming the diary down, you open it up to the next entry page after your last one, gently placing the tip of your pen on the first line. You grab your hair out of frustration, the ink bleeding into the thin paper. “What to do, what to do...?” You mumble, starting to form sentences in your notebook.
July 17, 2020
Dear Diary,
It’s been a while hasn’t it? Holy shit, all my entries were about Tsukki weren’t they? Jesus, of course they were. At least I was able to get it off my chest this afternoon. Telling him that I’ve been in love with him for years, that was fucking terrifying. Telling him that although I know he’s an ass, an animatronic dick complete with ballsack, that won’t stop me from falling harder, it was gut wrenching, but also relieving to a certain degree. I’m still waiting for some form of response, although I’m not sure I’m gonna get one anytime soon. I can’t decide whether telling him was the dumbest or bravest decision I’ve made. Maybe it was both. Just wait until I look back on this entry like a decade later and still cry about it lmao. Tbh he’s a genuinely nice person at heart. I know that all too well. He may be an ass most the time, and he may think I’m annoying, but despite how hard he tries to push me away, I’ll never abandon him. Jesus Christ, I sound like a yandere here, but it’s not that. It’s that I care for him a lot. Maybe even a bit too much. It’s ridiculous how absolute and utter shit a crush can make you feel.
Throwing the pen down, you flop back onto your bed, huffing into the thick blankets. You stay silent, not sure of what to think of the situation. “I’ll just deal with it all tomorrow, I’m tired of this shit.”
On the other side of the incident, Tsukishima is currently going through a mental crisis.
The blond sits at his desk, eyes unwavering, but focusing on nothing. It feels as if he hasn’t blinked in what seemed to be hours. Just hours of staring at his wall that led to nothing. Your confession plays in his head nonstop, like a broken record that refused to run out of battery.
“The thing is I like you. I’m pretty sure I always have. And I know that you’re such an asshole and all that, you won’t treat me as well as people would expect, but it’s fine. I’m fine with all that. All the dumb, stupid, careless insults you’ll throw at me, the side eyes and sneers, telling me to shut up and go away, I’m fine with it. I know you’re a good person, and that’s all that matters to me.”
“Well shit what the fuck do you want me to say?”
Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.
Maybe he should have let you down slowly.
But as he stares at his wall, the photos of the two of you framed and balanced on his floating shelves, he starts to reconsider his feelings.
The way your expression faltered then as you hastily took your bag and rushed away without a single word, the way you avoided him in the halls, the way you stopped talking to him throughout the day, it drove him crazy. He couldn’t handle the realisation that he hurt you so incredibly badly, so now all he can do is stare at his empty, blank wall. Did he know why he felt that way? No. He didn’t and still doesn’t. He’s Tsukishima fucking Kei, the emotionless, provoking, unlikeable king, yet a mere girl is somehow able to mess with his mind so badly, that all he can do is wallow in regret and confusion? What is this weird feeling? His throat itches, his heart is beating like crazy, sweat starting to gather around his temples. He clamps his two hands together, slamming his forehead onto them and squeezing his eyes shut.
How could I have been so dense?
How was he unable to see that you were absolutely in love with him? Even with the bento boxes, birthday gifts, constant compliments, he still only ever thought you liked him as a friend. However he never did. He likes you more than that. Way more. Yes, he thought, and still thinks you can be annoying at times, especially when you nag at him about not eating enough or being rude, but it was undeniable that there was something else he felt. But his stupid ass shitty ego would never let him admit it. And now that you finally confessed, he freaked out and fucked up. Even then, he didn’t think it would affect him to this extent.
“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you (Y/N).”
He says that over and over again, desperate to cloud out the disagreeing thoughts in his head that scream otherwise.
“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”
“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”
“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”
The guilt didn’t go away.
In fact, now that he’s said all that, he feels even worse. Oh how much he wants to find you right this second, wrap you in his arms, tell you how incredibly sorry he is, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to do that. His heart is begging for him to just get out of the house and run to yours as fast as he could, but his body won’t move. He wants to cry. Scream. Shout. Throw something. Shatter something. But most of all, he wants to get another chance.
Picking up his phone, he hesitates, before typing in your contact, the cleared out, empty chatroom showing up on his screen. Going as fast as his fingers could, he typed out the one sentence he’s been dying to let out.
“It was a middle school crush, but I’m still into you. I always have been.”
Is it just me, or is this bad-
Idk man it seems like all my fics are pretty much the same and I hate it😌
Tags:
@sunshines-and-tatertots @izzyphantomgamer @justachillgirl @trashcanweeb @just-another-bored-writer @poppirocks @majorfangirl37 @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @tiger1719 @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu @skyeackermans @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @shoutsukii @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @kuroo-thought-of-a-better-un @sneezefiction @bokutokoutarou @thirstyvolleyballhoe @iwaixiumi @iwaigroomi @inlwlevi
Feel free to comment or pm to be added to taglist!
I’m back to writing lmao I’m bored in two week quarantine rn
Edit: cue me realising I was half asleep and missed something in the request don’t be surprised if I repost this💀💀💀💀
Btw the hq manga just ended time to cry
💕💕💕💕
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Text
With a little help from your friends (the help is praise kink and the friend is your boyfriend)
Who would have thought that fucking your boyfriend senseless cures dysphoria.
Alternatively: being a dom is actually something that can be so gender,
Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)
Pairing: Andy Kang/Tom Sato
Additional tags: let's see, mild mentions of transphobic and racist comments, Comfort Sex, the filthiest comfort sex uve ever seen but WHATEVER, dom andy kang, sub tom sato, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Dom/sub Play, Collars, Praise Kink, basically someone says transphobic shit and then tom rides him and talks about how wonderful andy is, except tom has also been in denial for a few days and he's super horny, and andy gets in domspace and everything is great and nothing hurts, Fluff and Smut, Humor, cuz u know these two are incapable of taking anything too seriously, Established Relationship, oh they're both in college and they go to the same college cuz i said so, set after the events of it lives beneath, that's it I think, trans author if that matters to you
Read it on Ao3
Andy isn't having a great day. It's not a terrible, clawing-at-his-chest-trying-to-deal-with-dysphoria kind of day, but he's been trying out this "not comparing everything to the worst possible scenario" thing his therapist has been talking about, so still, not a great day.
The thing is, he thought college would be easier. And it is, in a lot of ways. For starters, there is no evil monster spectre trying to kill him, which gives college at least 5 points over high school. And his uni has a pretty solid queer club, so he knows other trans people there. Some of them are even non-white. Some of them he even actually, truly likes. And most of the time, he feels like he has a place to turn to, and people to support him. He's not alone. He has people who get him. And that makes all the difference.
But basketball is still a nightmare, and his knee still hurts when it's cold, and winter is officially starting now.
People still hesitate to pass the ball to him, and it's frustrating, because Andy fought so hard to earn his old team's trust and now he's back at square zero. And well, Andy has been gaining this team's trust, because he's good, goddamn it, and his team owes at least the last three victories to him. He's not hesitant to say that, especially because otherwise no one will. And he can see that they look at him differently now - nod at him in the hallways, at least, talk to him in the locker room, pass him the fucking ball if his position is very, very open.
But if he weren't trans and Asian, he wouldn't have had to work so hard to get all of that - or well, just that, really. He has a full sports scholarship despite the fact that he had a broken leg, had to retake his last year of high school, and doesn't even have the body type for basketball. If he weren't Asian, if he weren't trans, his team would have assumed his greatness from day one. Instead, he has to show it to them time and time again only to get them to reluctantly admit maybe he's not bad. No one calls him "triple threat" anymore, but he still has to work three times harder than anyone else, and it's frustrating.
And usually Andy can deal with it, but right now his knee hurts, and he can't afford that because he'll lose everything he's worked for if his teammates know that his fucking knee hurts. So, he braved training and then he got the fuck out of there without even changing so no one would see him wince. Which means he's still in basketball shorts, which are short, in the cold, which means his leg hurts more.
At times like these, he's thankful he never got the chance to go through with his promise to break his other leg kicking Noah's ass. Because he would have, and then both his legs would be hurting right now, and two legs that hurt every time it's cold is just too many legs.
No comparing to the worst possible scenario, he tells himself. Therapy is so hard. If he had known there would be homework, he would have thought twice about going.
And that's, apparently, the cue for his phone to go off. Andy smiles, knowing who it is even before he opens the message, because only one person messages him during class, and it's the only person he wants to hear from right now.
Tom <3 sent you a message
Grinning like a fool, he opens it.
Tom <3: dude, im horny af rn. the fuck
Finally, good news, Andy thinks, smiling. Then he remembers why Tom is so horny, and suddenly this day is great, actually.
He quickly types a reply.
You: who wouldve thought that 3 days of denial would make this happen
Tom <3: ill have u kno i was very good at holding it together before today
You: yeah, dw. soon u wont have to hold it anymore ;)
Tom <3: that flirt was terrible, dude
You: said the guy whos calling me dude for the second time in this conversation
Tom <3: what else should i call u? 😩
Andy thinks for a second. Tom and him do longer-term denial every once in a while, but they aren't in a 24/7 relationship. Does Andy really want to go there right now? Yes. Well, that was fast. Okay then.
You: how about "sir"
Tom's reply comes fast as lightning.
Tom <3: Yes, Sir.
Andy smirks at himself.
You: uve been hoping that id say that, havent u?
Tom types for just a little longer this time.
Tom <3: Yes, Sir.
----
Many things are wrong with the world, and Andy doesn't mean to make light of the other things, but the fact that Andy can't simply go and fuck his boyfriend whenever he wants is definitely one of them. It should be, like, financial compensation or something. We're so sorry the school environment is transphobic, here, have a free sex pass. Sounds fair to him. But instead, he still has two hours of classes to go through, and Andy is a better guy than he wishes he was, so he tells Tom to pay attention to class instead of sexting him, because he doesn't want Tom to struggle even more with his course when he had already had to leave it once. God damn true love or whatever.
The point is, by the time classes are finally over, his day is back to not being that great; he's tired, and his leg hurts. He gets to their car after Tom does, and Tom takes one look at him, and says, "I'm driving".
Andy crosses his arms. "Why?"
"Because your leg hurts," Tom answers, rolling his eyes and taking Andy's bag from him and putting it in the trunk.
Andy looks down at his legs. He wasn't limping. There aren't any bruises. How the hell-
"It's cold and you're in shorts. I'm not an idiot, dude."
Right. Yeah. Right. Of course. Tom knows. It's… It's alright.
"Bad day at training?" Tom asks, slowly, sympathetically, and Andy feels himself settle in his skin a little bit.
"The usual," he answers, getting inside, and, as always, Tom gets the hint.
---
Their uni's dorms are gender-segregated because these guys have still not gotten the memo that people of the same gender fuck; and Andy wasn't willing to deal with cis college guys' bullshit, much less cis college girls' bullshit; and the uni wouldn't let him simply pick Tom as his roommate. So, they rented out a beat up apartment right next to it instead. It took a little longer to get there, but it wasn't a lot longer, and well, it was worth it.
Tom gets inside, still carrying Andy's bag because he's transphobic and unfair and had taken it and bolted up running so Andy wouldn't have a chance to argue with him. And Andy can't run after him with his leg hurting, which kind of proves Tom's point that he should carry Andy's bag. All in all, Tom is the worst, and he turns up the heat as soon as he gets inside and sits Andy down on the bed, kneeling in front of him to take a look at Andy's knee.
He's silent for a while, massaging his knee until Andy sighs and throws his head back, before Tom plants a little kiss on his knee and looks up at him. Andy's knee always stops hurting when Tom kisses it better. It's a little embarrassing, if Andy is being honest, but still- nice. Really nice.
They stay for a little longer like this, Tom humming and massaging his knee and Andy not meeting his eyes, until the question inevitably comes.
"What happened?" Tom asks, not letting up with the smooth movements of his hands, his eyes big and sincere with worry.
"Nothing. Just the cold. You know how my knee gets."
"I meant, for you to leave practice without putting some warmer clothes on."
Andy looks away. "It was nothing."
"Dude, are you expecting me to go, 'okay, yeah, that totally makes sense and I believe you', or…?"
Andy laughs, despite himself, and throws his good leg up in an almost-kick to pretend he's retaliating. "Don't be an ass."
"I'm not. Come on, Andy. You know you can tell me."
"It's nothing, it's just- Kyle-"
"Oh boy."
Andy laughs. "Yeah." But then he grows serious, "the thing is, he doesn't mean any harm, you know? I know he's not saying it to hurt me, and so that just means that, like... that it's true."
Tom's hands stop their movements, rubbing soothing circles around his knee instead. "What did he say?"
Andy doesn't look at him. "He asked me why I didn't stay on the women's team. Said that I could have an advantage, cuz Asian people are androgynous anyway, so no one would notice that I was taking hormones."
Tom just stares at him in shock for a moment.
"And I was like, 'dude, I've been on T for three years, I'm pretty sure they would notice the changes'. And he was like, 'yeah, but you still look like a lot of Asian girls with short hair, you could write it off if you wanted', and I just…" He trails off.
Tom waits in silence for a second, seeing if Andy finds his words, before asking, "Is Kyle, like, okay?"
Andy scoffs. "I didn't try and fight him, if that's what you're asking."
"No, I mean, does this dude have a screw loose or something?"
"He's very bad at figuring out what is or isn't offensive, yeah, but it's not like he really cares, he just won't go out of his way to antagonize me."
"No, I just- Andy, even when you were a little kid with huge pigtails, anyone would have to be crazy to see you as a girl."
Andy bites the inside of his lip. "You're just saying that."
"I'm not. It's just wrong, man. It was so obvious that it was wrong. Anyone could tell. There's nothing about you that says 'girl' to anyone who's looking."
Andy sighs, finally risking looking at Tom's eyes. There's overwhelming sincerity there, and Andy instinctively looks away. "I guess. Maybe. I don't know. It just got me thinking... Maybe T didn't change anything. Maybe I look exactly the same, maybe it was just hopeful thinking that had me thinking it would change anything, maybe it's just- pointless to even try-"
"No, no, come on," Tom says, and the interruption is so sudden it makes Andy look at him again, just in time to see Tom shaking his head vigorously. "There's no way you believe that. What about this bad boy over here?" He smiles, reaching out softly to caress Andy's neck. "You have more of an Adam's Apple than me, dude. And we both know you don't need T to be a guy, but thinking it made no difference is just crazy and you know it. What about those dry pecs? These broad shoulders of yours? Your voice, I mean, come on. You even smell different, man. How can it be pointless, if even your scent is different?"
Andy looks to the side again, but he can feel himself smile. "Well, when you put it like that..."
Tom gets up, but stays close, putting his hand on Andy's cheek, slowly, as if testing the waters, before turning him slightly to look at him. "Andy. Kyle is an idiot and a transphobic racist who's too damn lazy to realize how fucked up he is. And you shouldn't have to deal with that, and I'm sorry, and I will set him on fire."
Andy laughs. "You can't keep threatening to set every shitty teammate I have on fire."
"I can, because it keeps making you laugh," Tom says, smiling. Well. Andy can't argue with that. "My point is, you wouldn't listen to a word this dude says if it were about anyone else, so don't listen to him when he talks about you, okay? T or no T, you're no girl, and you don't look like a girl, and regardless of whether or not Kyle's dumb ass noticed it, your transition has been doing you good. Remember when your voice started to crack and get all weird? I've never seen anyone be that happy about it."
Andy laughs. "It was pretty awful."
"No, it was great, 'cause you loved it. Do you want me to pull out the 'before' pictures we took in case this happened? Look at yourself, dude. You fit so much better in your own skin, you know? And like, you've always been gorgeous, but-"
"Come here," Andy interrupts, pulling him down because Tom is standing and Andy is sitting and Andy is already height-challenged. And Tom goes willingly, carefully straddling Andy's lap and meeting him in a kiss. Finally, Andy thinks.
Tom kisses him softly, slowly, one hand resting on the back of Andy's head and the other draped lazily over his shoulder, as he usually does, all gentle and a little hesitant, and Andy is having none of that. So he grabs Tom's hair and deepens the kiss, bringing him closer until their chests are flushed together and he can feel Tom's hips mindlessly making little circles against Andy's belly.
They separate - or well, stop kissing, really, because Tom is still as close to Andy as physically possible, and Andy feels about ready to shoot anyone who tries to push him further away. Tom's a little breathless, and his hips are still making these almost imperceptible movements against Andy, and Andy realizes that he's still grabbing Tom's hair and that he's a little breathless, too.
Tom looks down at him for a second, as if debating something with himself, before saying, "and like, not to be horny during a serious moment, but since we're talking about the effects of T... Andy. Andy. Your clit. Fuck. It's so huge now, and it's got a visible head and you can fuck my face and everything, and I could sing it praises for a week and probably will if you don't stop me right now."
"Hmm, but I like it when you sing me praises," he smiles. "Keep going."
"God, I was hoping you'd say that. Do you have any idea how much I've been thinking about it today? I didn't hear a single word anyone said to me, all I could think about was you fucking my face, pulling my hair, making me worship you and beg to be allowed to suck you off, I wanna serve you like you're my God." Tom's hips start to jerk up, more visibly this time, shameless, and see, this is why Andy's been really, really liking this whole denial thing - Tom has only started to explore his subby side recently, a little ashamed of it to admit it to anyone, even himself. But when he's horny enough, he gets shameless and desperate about what he wants, and god, nothing is more beautiful than Tom when he asks for what he wants. He feels something growing inside of him, not sure if it's warmth or heat, but seeing Tom like that, wanting him, needing him, definitely makes him feel so much better.
"Yeah?" Andy asks, tracing a finger over Tom's shoulder, close to his neck, just to give him goosebumps.
"Fuck yes, I want it so bad, and you deserve it too, Andy… Sir. You're the best Sir I could ask for, I just want… Want you to use me, want you to cum on me, want to kiss you all over and worship you and pleasure you, you're so gorgeous..." He hides his face in Andy's shoulder for a bit, but his hips don't stop moving. He whines, "Andy..."
"Address me properly," Andy snaps, feeling the edges of worry clear from his mind and giving way to that wonderful feeling of clear-mindedness, of power, where nothing matters but his own pleasure. "And maybe I'll give you what you want, if you earn it."
Tom nods, hips full on thrusting now, and Andy snaps again. "Stay still."
And he does, immediately, without question, biting his lip and keeping his eyes shut with effort. Andy can feel his thighs clenching and spasming over his, trying to keep himself from moving, trying to be good. He hums in appreciation, but doesn't praise him for it, not yet.
"I'll get you ready," Andy explains, before reaching to Tom's hair, and starts to undo his bun, as slow as possible, just to watch him squirm. He gets so impatient when Andy undresses him, which is why Andy never misses a chance to drag it out.
He begins by removing Tom's jacket, sliding his hands slowly over his shoulders, then down his back, feeling the firm muscle there, digging his nails just a little bit so he can see Tom's eyes flutter in bliss. When the jacket falls to the floor, Andy begins circling the hem of his shirt, sliding until his hands are back on front, fingers just close enough to Tom's cock for him to feel Tom tense in his hands, so damn sensitive to his touch, so needy. God, he can't get enough of this, but he pretends that he doesn't notice, lets Tom try and keep himself together as Andy's hands slide over his belly, then chest, over the shirt, collarbone, wrapping and resting on Tom's throat just so he feels the threat of it, before Andy finally grabs the back of the shirt's collar and tugs, taking it off. Then he slides his hands back down, making sure to run a finger just over the sensitive spot where his pecs end, then lower, over his ribcage, belly, hips, next to the bruises where Andy had grabbed him the night before, then back to the middle, just over the bulge in his pants, and Tom finally breaks and jerks up slightly, letting out a little moan.
"Sir," he whines, "please, please, I-" Andy continues to circle the head of his cock with his finger, "please!"
"Patience," is all he says, before going back to his painfully light movements, imagining Tom's needy cock twitching under his fingers, imagining the effort Tom makes not to thrust up or keep begging for more, just because Andy told him not to. "You know how much I like playing with your pretty little cock. You said you wanted to serve me, didn't you?"
"Yes- yes, Sir."
He hums, noncommittally, not looking at him. "Good." He teases the tip of his clothed cock some more, enjoying the way his mind zeroes on that, the way he feels like he has all the power and the time in the world. Finally, he pats Tom's thigh once. "Get off, and take off the rest of your clothes. Get the lube and a condom."
Tom gets up, a little shaky, and does as instructed, while Andy reaches down to the drawer under the bed where he keeps his dick's spine and a few of their toys. He gets the spine, then adjusts his packer briefs so he can put it on - best purchase of his life, really, those briefs. So much easier to use than a regular strap-on and it makes the packer sit over his clit just right, making a little suction and pressure. Andy couldn't be happier that he was already wearing them.
Tom gets back with everything he asked right in time for Andy to finish making his dick hard, and goes on to put the condom on and cover Andy's cock in lube with the kind of attention that makes Andy hold his breath. Tom's so careful, yet eager, and adoring, about it. Andy feels like the hottest guy in the world.
Once he gets permission, Tom sits on his cock, slowly, getting adjusted to it - admittedly, Andy went a little overboard when he bought his first cock. Andy waits until Tom is fully seated, littering his neck with little kisses and praise for how well he's taking him, how pretty he looks, until Tom looks fully comfortable and ready to start complaining if Andy doesn't start fucking him in earnest soon. That's when Andy shows him the other item he pulled from the drawer - Tom's favorite collar.
Tom's reaction is instantaneous. He throws his head back, moving over Andy's cock as he lets out a breathless, almost choked moan; the hands he had resting on Andy's shoulders suddenly squeezing full force in his need.
"God, you're such a whore," Andy says, casually, and Tom nods, even as he flushes. The collar is just a simple black one, with a little hoop for the leash, but inside they had it engraved with the words Andy's whore, and it left visible marks that could be seen for a few hours after they took it off. It never failed to drive Tom crazy, so it always drove Andy crazy, too. "Stay still," he warns, and Tom nods, breathing heavily, gripping Andy's shoulder as tight as he can as he stays frozen in place. Andy slowly puts it around his neck, checking with his finger to make sure it's not too tight, and the second he clasps it in place, Tom's whole body relaxes, a content little sigh escaping his lips, his face slack and blissed out. He likes being owned, so much. Andy can't get enough of it. "Good?" he asks, just to make sure it's not too tight.
"Perfect," Tom answers, the words leaving him in a sigh. Andy then ties the leash to the headboard, making sure that they're just far enough from it that he'll be feeling its pull the whole time. Tom lets out a moan. "Thank you, Sir."
Andy smirks. "Now, here's what I want you to do," he says, "you're going to ride me, just like that, and you're not going to come until I tell you to. You're definitely not going to come before I do. If you come close, you'll have to tell me. I want to hear you scream, so make as much noise as you want. Do you understand?"
Tom nods again, almost dizzyingly quick. "Yes, Sir."
"Good, then get to it."
Tom doesn't need to be told twice. He starts riding him, slowly at first, trying to find the perfect angle for Andy - not himself, Andy notices, pleased. Once it's perfect, Andy orders, "faster, slut,” and Tom obeys, as always, working up speed as he tries to keep himself upright, feeling the tug of his leash with every movement, moaning the whole time. “Good boy,” Andy says, and Tom’s responding whine is high pitched, embarrassing, needy. He gets even faster then, starting to babble as he keeps on working, and Andy just stays casually in place, not having to do a single thing while Tom works to give him pleasure.
"Fuck, you're so perfect, did you know that?" Tom asks, quickly sliding down on Andy's cock, making sure he puts all this weight in the end so Andy's cock will press down against his clit just the way he likes, making sure to go as deep as possible, "I've been dreaming of your cock for days, god, Sir, nothing's better than this," he hides his face in Andy's shoulder, speeding up even more, thighs shaking with the effort, and Andy puts a fist in his hair and pulls, watching as Tom throws his head back and lets out a scream, working even faster on Andy's cock. "Sir!," he whines, "oh, thank you, thank you, feels so good, oh my god, please, I'm gonna-"
"No, you won't," Andy interrupts, "I'm not even close to coming yet. Keep working, slut."
"Y-yes, Sir," he whines, going faster, deeper, and Andy makes it harder for him, keeps pulling at his hair to expose his neck, litters kisses and bites on his exposed throat, grabs his thigh and squeezes hard enough to bruise so Tom remembers he's his, his whore, his toy.
"I love it when you get like this," Andy says, doing his best to keep his tone even, even as he's a little breathless from pleasure, from power, "I bet you want to come so bad, don't you? If I'd just give you the word, you'd be making a mess of yourself, coming on my cock right now-"
"Fuck! Yes, yes, Sir, please, I'm so close."
Andy smiles. "No."
Tom whines, so cute, adorable, and Andy is nice enough to leave a little kiss on his shoulder, grounding, calming him down. Before going right back to torturing him, "no, you don't get to come for a long time yet. I want you just like this, on edge, tasting it…" Andy grins. "Tell me how close you are, baby."
"I'm- I'm so close-"
Andy slaps him in the face. "You can do better than that."
"Fuck, I feel like I'm going to explode, I'm so close, I want it so bad, and you feel so good, God, you have no idea what you do to me, Sir, your cock is so perfect, it hurts, I need it- need to cum on your cock, Sir, please-"
"No."
Tom chokes on a moan, and starts to go even faster. He lets out a little whine, something Andy thinks was supposed to be a word, but doesn't come close.
"See," Andy says, "this is why I won't let you come. Look at you - every time I tell you no, you get so desperate, so obedient - it's what you want, isn't it? You want me to keep telling you no, you want to know your pleasure doesn't matter, that you're just here to serve me."
"Yes! Yes, yes, yes-"
"Good, then keep going. And beg all you want- I like telling you no, too."
Tom does. He begs, and he says thank you when Andy denies him, again and again and again. Thank you, Sir, thank you for using me, for putting me in my place, I'm yours, I'm yours. And he keeps on praising Andy, praising his cock, his body, the way he fucks him and uses him, no one else makes me feel like this, no one deserves to be worshipped and served like you, Sir, I want to make you feel good-... Until even the clear-minded state of domspace begins to crumble and Andy feels nothing but pleasure, and confidence, and power, and he cums to the sound of Tom praising him and begging, once, twice, three times, until his head is clear again and everything, even the need to chase his own pleasure, is gone, and he just feels perfect.
"Stop," he orders Tom, who's still babbling more and more incoherently, endless praise and worship, and Andy finds that he worships Tom right back. "I want you to get my cock as deep inside you as you can, and stay still. I'm going to play with your dick for a while, and when I tell you to, you can come. You did well today, baby."
Tom nods, suddenly struggling to use his words. "T-thank you, Sir," he says, already frozen in place, thighs clenching with the effort not to move and also shaking with all the effort he did before.
Andy coos. "Poor baby. You were so good to me today. Let me take care of you."
"You always- always do, Sir," Tom replies, and Andy smiles.
He gives Tom a long, slow handjob, making sure Tom stays still through it, enjoying the way his thighs shake on top of Andy's, the pressure of Tom sitting tight on his cock, the way his arms also shake with effort where they rest around Andy's neck; Tom's pretty, exposed throat all marked up around his collar, his breathless little whines as Andy makes sure to do it just the way he likes it, makes his cock turn red with need; watches Tom bite his lip, because when he has to keep still he becomes so quiet and needy, even as the little whines go through his lips… Until Andy finally says, "come for me, baby," and Tom screams through an orgasm that lasts almost a minute, hanging on to Andy as tightly as he can to keep himself anchored through the pleasure.
And then Andy holds him, and Tom holds him back, and they hold each other.
----
A while later, they've cleaned up Tom's cum so it doesn't get all sticky on Andy's chest, and Andy's finally taken off those damn briefs - they're great for sex, but get pretty tight when you wear them for a long time - and Andy holds Tom against his chest. He's humming, contently, and if anyone had told him at the beginning of the day that he'd be comfortable enough to have someone close to him while he's fully naked, he'd - well, probably assume they meant Tom, but still be skeptical.
"How do you feel?" Tom asks after a little while, finally opening up his eyes and saying hello to the world.
"That's supposed to be my line," Andy laughs.
"I feel great. Perfect. Next time, I wanna do it for longer. A week? Let's try a week. Or two weeks…?"
Andy laughs. "Let's not make too big of a leap yet."
"Fine. A week sounds good. Great. And now that we've established that denial is totally bomb for me, how are you feeling?"
"Honestly? I'm feeling great, too," Andy admits, playing with a little stray of Tom's hair, swirling it around his finger, "I think I needed that, a little bit. Who'd have thought that having you ride me and praise my cock cures dysphoria."
"Every trans top on every forum I've ever visited."
"Let me have my moment of realization," Andy mumbles, faux-annoyed. Tom just laughs, holding him closer.
"I'm just glad I could help," he says.
"Please tell me you didn't ride my cock just to help."
"Well, no, in case you hadn't noticed, I was horny as fuck. I just tried to, you know. Use that to give you a little push. Since you wanted to. Y'know. Also, it was all true. So..."
"Thanks, love," Andy says, earnestly. "I love you."
"I love you more."
They bicker about it, and Andy's smiling the rest of the day.
9 notes · View notes
neocityarchive · 4 years
Text
blind love | l.m.k.
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— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.
word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |
a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!
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“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”
Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.
“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.
He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”
You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head. 
It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.
You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out. 
He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.
You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.
That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.
“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech. 
“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.
Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”
It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.
“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.
“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”
A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.
You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.
Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.
You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.
He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.
Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.
“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.
“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.
“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.
You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.
You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.
Thursday, 5:31 PM
You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.
Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?
You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)
Friday, 2:21 AM
You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile
Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter
You: … okay?
Mark: go to sleep, y/n
Friday, 12:03 PM
You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?
Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!
You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.
Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight
You: oh okay have fun!
Saturday, 6:54 PM
You: maaaark
Mark: y/nnn
You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]
You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?
Saturday, 7:01 PM
You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt
Sunday, 10:21 PM
You: hey can we talk
Mark: ???
You: please?
Mark: ye what about?
You: you said we’d still be friends
Mark: lol aren’t we?
You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.
You: we dont even see each other anymore.
Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha
You: wow fine okay
Mark: ?????
You: i guess i deserve that haha
Mark: im tired y/n. night.
You: :( nighttt
You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.
You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?
It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?
“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”
But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.
You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again. 
You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise. 
“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.
Sunday, 10:52 PM
You: jaeeem hi :)
Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>
You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?
Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?
You: not really hahaha how is he?
Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself
You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer
Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.
You: why, what’s he doing?
Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd
You: … very funny
Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday
You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?
Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.
Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh
You: we’re just friends
Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?
You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over
Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF
You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you
Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.
Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me
Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol
You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time
You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee
You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.
Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.
Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.
Sunday, 11:04 PM
You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.
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You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.
You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.
That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.
“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.
You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”
The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?
As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.
Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??
You: okay thank you!
From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.
That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next. 
You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.
You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.
When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard. 
He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.
But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.
This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?
You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.
You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.
“What are you looking at?”
You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.
“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.
So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.
“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”
“No,” you grumbled.
“Then why are you almost crying?” 
You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”
Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”
You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.
“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”
“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.
The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”
“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.
“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.
“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.
You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?
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Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.
After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.
You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.
When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang. 
You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.
After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.
“What are you doing?” You remember whining.
“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close. 
Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.
“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.
And then you cried some more. You feel lost.
All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.
Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.
He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?
Not to this extent. Not really.
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Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.
You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.
Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.
So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.
You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.
Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?
You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.
Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. “Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”
You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”
“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.
You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”
He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”
You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.
Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say. 
I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.
You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.
You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.
Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.
“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.
“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”
“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him. 
The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.
“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.
Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.
Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak. 
He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.
“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”
You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.
Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.
You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.
You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D
Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF
You:  i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.
You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.
Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door
You: okay thanks
The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.
The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.
You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”
You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.
Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.
Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.
“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.
“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question. 
Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so. 
He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.
“You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.
Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”
You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.
Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.
“No.”
“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”
“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”
He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”
At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.
He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.
“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.
He sighed.  “I told you. It’s okay.”
“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.
Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…
“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”
“Why?” he asked. 
It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.
“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.
For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it. 
Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.
You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”
“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.
You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”
Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”
“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.
“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”
“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.
“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”
“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.
“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.
“But I do.”
“Say it then.”
“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.
Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”
“Me neither,” you laughed.
When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.
“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.
“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.
You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.
The two of you pulled away, breathless.
“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”
You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”
“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”
You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.
“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.
“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.
Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”
You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”
“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”
You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.
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fanfalc-616 · 3 years
Text
The Rights Of A Nindroid
Chapter Fifteen
(Prevoius Chapter Here)
(Discord Here)
Been a while since I’ve posted, sorry about that-
I’m supposed to be in school rn lol
When finally taken back to the lockers, after thirty exhausting hours, Cryptor feels as though he’s on the verge of a forced shutdown.
The damn brat had switched out with someone else, claiming something about an internship. And that had at least meant that the one hurting him no longer had a personal vendetta, but it was still painful.
Cryptor hates how close he had come to actually asking them to hurt Zane instead, but he didn’t. Though judging by the way the other looks when the two of them are put in the locker, they hurt him anyway.
DID THEY GIVE YOU A CHOICE TOO?
Zane doesn’t answer for a moment, likely out of surprise or maybe exhaustion.
I DIDNT GIVE IN
Cryptor snorts. Of course he didn’t. He’s a self-sacrificing dumbass, and it had been that knowledge that had allowed Cryptor to hang on himself.
HOW LONG A BREAK DO YOU THINK WELL GET?
It’s a morbid game, really, but the two of them had taken to guessing how long they would get before dragged out for testing or torture.
AT LEAST SIX HOURS WE WERE THERE FOR OVER A DAY
Mulls over the words, Cryptor considers the idea. Zane’s probably right, but he feels like arguing.
OR THEYLL WANT TO BEAT IT INTO US WITH A SHORTER ONE
There’s a pause, and Cryptor takes a moment to hate himself. Yes, start an argument with his one friend, that’s a wonderful idea.
IS SOMEONE HAVING A BAD DAY?
Cryptor snorts. Good, Zane can tell when he’s only pretending to argue. Probably picked that up from his teammates.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
The friendly banter continues for a while, but Cryptor can eventually feel himself shutting down from exhaustion.
He taps out a goodbye and a quick explanation before falling asleep, hoping- but not expecting- that they’ll get today off.
{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }
Jay is starting to lose his grip.
Kai had gotten himself under house arrest by breaking into the government building- which he neglected to tell them the location of before doing so- and since they live on the Bounty, they’re stuck grounded so that the police can make sure that Kai’s not leaving.
Also he’s been sulking the whole time.
It’s already been almost two months, but he still has another four left, and everyone on the ship is going crazy from it.
“I am this close to renting a hotel until his house arrest is over.” Nya holds up her hand so that her pointer finger and thumb are almost touching.
Cole sighs, shaking his head. “I’d join you, but at this point I’m scared of leaving him unsupervised.”
Jay laughs a little. “Honestly, what could he do that’s worse than what he’s already done?”
The two immediately snap over to looking at him.
“Are you trying to jinx it?!” Cole groans. “You know full well how crazy he can get when it comes to protecting us.”
Wincing, Jay accepts the point. “That’s fair. But I doubt he would-“
Lloyd comes running into the room. “Kai left the ship. He tied his house arrest bracelet to the roomba so it would move, and I don’t know where he went.”
Jay blinks. “I stand corrected.”
Then they’re all scrambling to their feet, rushing off to try and find the dumbass hot head that is Kai.
Cole runs outside, probably off to go look at his usual hiding places- he’s run off before, but never under house arrest.
Nya goes to her computer, most likely going to try and track his phone- that’s her usual go-to for when one of them goes off to do something stupid.
He’s not entirely sure where Lloyd’s going, but he probably has some kind of plan.
But before Jay has the chance to come up with his own, his BorgPhone rings with a number that he doesn’t recognize.
A flash of fear takes over him. Oh, Kai better not have gotten captured. What happens if he has? They might hurt him, he might go to prison, he could get into all kinds of trouble!
With shaky hands, Jay hits accept and holds the phone up to his ear.
“Hey, this is Jay Walker. Who is this and how have I ruined your life?” Somehow, he manages to keep his voice from shaking.
“It’s more of your boyfriend who’s doing that.” Sentry grumbles. “I found Kai sneaking into Borg Tower- he was trying to find more hints of ways to rescue Zane. Please come and get him before he gets caught- I shoved him in a back room to keep people from finding him, but he’ll probably find a way out pretty soon.”
Jay curses softly. “Of course he did. Okay, I’m on my way.” He starts to head out even as he speaks, silently complaining about how reckless his boyfriend can be. He loves him, he really does, but sometimes- like now- he really wants to slap him.
It takes him around fifteen minutes to make it to Borg Tower, and when he steps inside, Sentry is standing right next to the door.
“He escapes from the room, so I put him in the timeout corner. He’s handcuffed to the wall, but I’m pretty sure that-“
Jay blinks a few times. “Wh- why do you have a timeout corner? And why does it have handcuffs?”
Sighing, Sentry shakes his head. “The white nindroids were created recently and are pretty immature,” he explains, “so a timeout is a pretty effective way to get them to behave. The handcuffs are for when they still don’t listen- now come on, we should hurry before he finds a way out.”
So Jay lets the nindroid lead him through the tower, trying to stop the way he’s nervously jittering. It- it’ll be fine, it’ll be totally and completely fi-
They come into a back room where Kai is in a chair and in handcuffs that are attached to the wall, forcing his hands above his head.
Jay glances over at Sentry. “Uh-“
“We have two timeout corners. This one is for the nindroids who cause trouble repeatedly. Or in this case, the ninja who does that.” He glares at Kai, but the red ninja looks utterly unapologetic.
“I need to rescue Zane. And you didn’t have to call someone to pick me up, I’m not some child in a school’s principal’s office.” Kai huffs, shifting in his bonds.
Jay starts to try and tell him that he’s totally acting like he’s just got his parents called in an office, but Sentry shakes his head, and speaks up.
“There’s a back door you can take him out so that he doesn’t get caught, but keep a better handle on him next time. We really don’t need him getting an actual prison sentence.”
Glancing at his boyfriend, Jay thinks for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d actually be able to get Kai out of here without being seen.
“I’m going to call Cole,” he decides, “he’ll be able to carry him out of here.”
“I can walk!” Kai protests, looking betrayed. “I don’t need to be carried-“
Sentry nods. “Probably a good idea. He might put up a fight on the way out.”
“I can hear you, you know! I’m right here.” Kai sounds annoyed and frustrated, and Jay sighs, feeling himself cave a little.
“It’s okay, Fire-Hazard. I’ll talk Nya out of murdering you, so long as you promise to actually stay on the ship this time.”
At his words, Kai pales a little. It’s clear he hadn’t thought about how his sister would react to him running off.
“I’ll behave.” He grumbles, clearly unhappy about it. “But I can’t just do nothing.”
With a start, Jay realizes that he’s right. The reason that he keeps doing stupid things is because he needs to be doing something to help- if he doesn’t, he’s going to feel like he’s failing Zane.
So they need to come up with something that he could work on, some way he could get them closer to freeing him.
Maybe if he was working on part of the plan…
Jay looks over at Sentry. “We’re looking for legal loopholes right now, right? Could he help you try and find some? From the computer on the ship, I mean.”
Kai perks up a little, and Sentry looks like he’s considering the idea.
“Will that keep him out of trouble?” He sounds hesitant, but Jay quickly nods.
“He just wants to help, give him a way to do that and he’ll be fine.”
The nindroid looks over at Kai. “Is he seriously going to be able to look through legal documents for longer than thirty seconds?” He sounds unamused, but he pauses again when he sees Kai’s determined expression.
“I looked through a ton of them to break in. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out.”
After hesitating for only a moment longer, Sentry nods. “Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll send over some I haven’t gotten to yet.”
So Jay ends up only calling Cole so that he can let the others know that Jay found him, and Kai actually walks back without putting up a fuss.
It takes a bit of work to get him on the ship stealthily enough so that any potential cameras couldn’t see, but they manage it.
However, when they step onto the bridge, the three others look annoyed beyond belief.
After a pause, Kai chuckles nervously. “On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in?”
“Eleven.” Nya’s smile expresses anything but happiness, and Cole and Lloyd look only slightly less upset.
Somehow, Jay manages to uphold his promise, talking Nya out of giving Kai some five hour lecture that would probably make him regret existing.
Lloyd grabs Stabby and re-attaches the house arrest bracelet, and it’s not long after that the red ninja is in front of the computer, having about seven files open that he’s comparing and researching.
Later, Cole comes up to him. “The research thing was good thinking; it’ll keep him distracted while still allowing him to help.”
Jay flashes him a smile. “What can I say? I actually have good ideas sometimes.”
Cole smirks. “That’s debatable.”
“You literally just told me that I had a good idea.” Jay reminds with his own grin.
With an overly thoughtful expression, Cole strokes his chin. “Did I? I don’t remember that.”
“Wow, and here I was with the idea that elephants never forget.” Jay snarks back, barely containing his snickers.
Mock gasping, Cole puts a hand over his chest. But as he starts to teasingly reply, his smile fades, and he looks down.
“... Zane loved mock arguments.” He murmurs softly, pain suddenly written on his face.
Jay feels his own cheerfulness drain a little. “It took a while to teach him how, but he got pretty good at them.” He quietly agrees as he remembers the difficulty Zane had used to have with humor.
“He got pretty good at them though.” Cole’s smile is more pained now, but it’s there.
With a soft chuckle, Jay nods. “Absolutely trashed us with them.”
But then the emotions are over taking him, and Jay feels himself shaking at the thought of his titanium boyfriend. Who knows what they’re doing to him, from Kai’s recount they’ve been outright torturing him, he-
Cole puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” He speaks softly, and his voice is uncertain, as though he’s not really sure of himself, even though it sounds like he’s trying to keep it steady.
Jay nods weakly, feeling tears burn at the back of his eyes. “It’ll be okay.” He repeats softly, desperately trying to believe the words.
In the end, Cole has to coax both him and Kai into bed with gentle reassurances and promises that he sounds slightly unsure of, but at this point, Jay’s too desperate to think about how he might be wrong.
He just wants Zane back… is that really too much to ask for?
Apparently, because it doesn’t seem that they’ll be getting him back anytime soon.
That night, even when cuddled in the arms of his other boyfriends, he cries himself to sleep.
Zane will be okay. He has to be okay.
Jay won’t be able to take it if he’s not.
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midnight633 · 3 years
Note
Hiiiii midnight it’s been a while! I’ve been pretty the air at school is pretty chill rn and I haven’t been as stressed as normal! Anyways I just finished reading the haikyuu manga and none of my irl friends are going to read it so I’m DYING to talk to someone about it while it’s still fresh on my mind (also I remember you saying you read the manga but if you didn’t don’t continue reading for spoilers!) well ANYWAYS the nekoma match took YEARS of my life let me tell you and the cage metaphors and tsukki and kuroo’s battle of the blockers it was probably one of my favorite matches. And KENMA at the end actually having fun ahahah I loved loved loved this match.
And then fukorodani’s match with akaashi was hard to read but the “we are the protagonists/stars of the world” made my bokuaka heart go places but akaashi just breaking was so surprising to see and the fact that they don’t even win nationals makes me sooo sad I wanted at least one team I knew to win nations also
AND THEN THE NEXT MATCH HINATAA the day that scene gets animated is the day I combust someone give HINATA a hug he just couldn’t play for w h a t and then they losttt and he was crying alone and coach ukai and takeda were absolute kings in this scene. Buuuuttt we did get to meet the tiny giant and I thkught he’d look real intimidating and scary but he actually seems pretty cool! AND THEN KAGAYAMA unpopular opinion I actually can’t STAND him sometimes he really went I win while hinata is really cryingg and I know it’s for plot but hsjajsjs
The time skip omggg okay yachi saying that date tech went to finals and the Miya twins beat karasuno actually made my heart really happy. I do wish when they were third years they could if won but getting third is also really incredible and YAMAGUCHI WAS CAPTAIN I really need the crew as their years fics. The beach part was so fun to read I loved meeting them new people and OIKAWA I never though hinata and oikawa would get to the point of being good friends but I loved seeing it
AND THEN RHE MATCH BETWEEN HINATA AND KAGEYAMA okay kags backstory was sad but the “one day you’ll okay with someone who is even better then you” and that someone being hinata he finally beat kagayama it makes me sooo happy. Also bokuto making everyone clap for him I love it AND THE NEXT PART WITH OIKAWA ahahshd I don’t even want to know the outcome of the match but I was sooo sad it ended (and is it weird that I want a spinoff with natsu hinata playing volleyball that would be so cool)
I’m so sorry for the long ask it’s just I have NO ONE to talk to about this and you don’t ever have to answer I just like ranting so if you made it this far thank you and have an amazing rest of your day!
@ren-likes-muffins ?!! HOLY SHIT??!! You did it?!
I don't know what's with Tumblr not giving me notifications (also I haven't checked it much) so I'm late at seeing this but I AM SOO HAPPY U READ THE MANGA BECAUSE WE CAN NOW SCREAM AT EACH OTHER! I actually read the manga then went back and rewatched the series and started rereading the manga till the end of nekoma match then a week of exams happened and I became antisocial.
Deep breath
Like I was so pumped up for the nekoma match when I realized that was not yet animated and reading the first few pages of the manga was hard cuz my dumbass brain didn't wanna read right to left and interpret instead went rushing through the panels ( hence the re read to savour the storyline and characters) . But once I got into it the match was soo good? Like Kenma really went I don't care you're my friend I'm gonna tear u from limb to limb and did so calmly? I agree with the cage metaphor when he broke through it I was so giddy and I remember Suguru ( Nohebi's captain) commenting how he didn't like Tsukki's vibes and realising that it was same as Kuroo's and hating them both :)
The Fukorodani's match fed my bokuaka heart and was a precursor to Bokuto's 'im a normal ace' part. The tiny giant was kind of a disappointment but that's life for you.. and the kamomedai match man the battle of the little giants - I was so rooting for Hinata but when he collapsed I didn't get it at first but then it hit me and takeda's talk about taking care of body being a part of volleyball and all made me cry. Also Kenma coming to check up on Hinata? Soft. Heart breaking. Cue waterworks.
Somewhere deep inside I always expected Karasuno to win the nationals but they lost and I wasn't even bothered by it at the end
So.. unpopular opinion I kind of don't like Kageyama? He is always being insensitive and a dick to Hinata and when says I'm going forwards or some shit when Hinata collapses really made me dislike him very much. I don't really think their dynamic is healthy so kagehina became a big no-no for me.
But post time skip I loved that they could settle it and work together as equals. But Brazil?! My god, little Hinata become so accomplished-Ninja Shoyou- and the bit abt Kenma sponsoring him, Oikawa meeting him and becoming friends, seeing all these great high school players in the same team- let me tell you Atsumo and Sakusa on the same team with their competitive vibes with Bokuto - man I laughed like crazy at the Bokuto Beam, its so dorky and utterly him- and Hinata was perfect. Is it weird I want spinoff of the MSBY jackals and their shenanigans? I loved how they showed every ones career and Tsukki still playing 🏐 after saying it's just a game - he must have been more hooked than he let on-
I agree a spin off with natsu playing 🏐 would be soo Cool - going all like but Onichan you can't come to my game then everyone will want your autograph and you'll embarrass me-
I wanted more but with the open ending I can now imagine anything and subsequently my haikyuu brainrot is spreading
I too don't have any irl friends who watch it and I resigned myself to being alone in this but man ranting is so satisfying isn't it?
My haikyuu phase doesn't seem to end soon but it's just that I can't get into the head space for ATLA and I feel so guilty for it, I have so many updates from fics I've subscribed and I can't muster any interest in checking them out.
On another note it's so funny in a show where the only confirmed couples seem to be Tanaka and Kiyoko yet I ship so many of them!? In my mind they are all gay and I ship them. My fav ships are probably- iwaoi, daisuga, BOKUAKA, kuroken, and weirdly enough I was kinda obsessed with sakuhina, atsuhina, oh and sakuatsu. I. Just. Think. They're. Neat.
Oh well this is way too long and if you've read all this you have the patience of a saint and I'm proud of you. If you want let me know your fave ships and other manga bits that caught your attention ( random- but I love that Kita is a rice farmer and supplies for onigiri Miya)
Here is a fanart that I love that reminded me of the ' we are the protoganists of the world'
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Byee!! Take care and Have a lovely day! Ily<3
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mando-abs · 3 years
Text
Dream Time with Abs
On this episode: First Dream with a young modern rebel Din Djarin
Context: I recently added the Session series by @mandocrasis on my TBR list and my brain said “Alright, bet.” and ran with the idea of it. So, I guess this dream is inspired by the series???? I don’t know. I haven’t read it yet. But, this dream was too good not to share.
Also 18+ warning - some sexual themes are mentioned in this dream but never actually put into motion.
The Story:
No idea why my dreams have been involving schools with varying age ranges lately but HERE WE GO.
It all started out with me in a gym class. I was talking to a group of chatty girls, and they started gossiping about the rebel Din Djarin. One girl, we’ll call her Stacy, mentioned how she wanted to quote “get in his pants.” I rolled my eyes at Stacy, and she got really defensive over it. To appease the Stacy, the girls decided that they would pass a note onto Din about which girl, me or Stacy, he would rather hook up with. (It’s so teenage lunchroom-esque. I love it)
I wasn’t too worried about it since I’m practically a nobody, but it still bothered me that they would send such a crude letter to him. But also, my brain really wanted to see this plot through, so I allowed it. The girls came back by the end of the day with huge grins on their faces. As it turns out, Din was more interested in me than Stacy. In fact, he had his eye set out for me anyways.
Now, I start panicking internally. Like, what? All I’ve heard are whispers about the guy and how popular he was (or unpopular, it’s never really discussed why he was the talk of the school). Why would he agree to hook up with a nerd like me? (Spoiler alert: that isn’t explained in this dream either, sorry)
Regardless, the girls were really excited for me and decided to help a girl out. They scouted the perfect classroom for me to stakeout in. It was currently being held by a class full of children (what kind of a school is this???), but, eventually, it would be empty, giving me the best opportunity to get my freak on. They even tried giving me pointers (in shushed voices of course) on how to, for lack of better terms, stick it in there in a classroom setting. Then, they just leave me there.
So there I was, sitting in this classroom full of children, waiting for Din to come do whatever with me. I was so incredibly nervous, constantly shifting in my seat. What was I even doing? But in my mind, to keep the dream going, I was like…
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After waiting for a few minutes, Mr. Din Djarin finally walked into the classroom.
And when I tell you that this boy was so fine, that this boy was so scrum-dilly-icous… Let me paint you a picture of him. Din was much younger than he is typically. He was not like the man he is rn, he was a boy (still my age of course, but not aged like the fine wine he is in Mandalorian).
The best way to describe him is Pedro Pascal as he looked in Hermanas, but with a white t-shirt and leather jacket over it.
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Wooooooo. Okay. Well, now I was trying to play it off cool to match his sick rebel vibes while simultaneously going into meltdown mode on the inside. He pulled up a seat next to me, placed his bag on the floor, and sat down.
“Hey,” he said all nonchalantly.
“Hey,” I said not so collected back at him.
“Looks like we’re going to be here a while.”
“Yeah… Got any homework you need to do?” 🤦🏻Nice one, nerd. God.
Din laughed, but not condescendingly so. It’s almost like he was actually relieved I was more concerned about his grades than having sex with him.
“Yeah, actually. I’ve got a quiz coming up.”
“Well, good then.”
So he got out his binder and started studying for some unknown quiz.
Now…this was the part I remembered the most because it felt so real. While we were sitting there as he was studying (and I nosily looking over his shoulder to see what he was studying), I got brave enough and held his hand. I physically felt his hand. I will not be able to forget his touch for a while. And all of you writers out there like to write Din and Pedro characters alike with large calloused hands (and respectfully so, most of his characters are hard workers). His hand was soft. It easily enveloped mine still, but they were gentle. I think he smiled out of the corner of his mouth, but I didn’t look at him as hard out of nervousness.
So we sat and sat, and sat some more with our hands locked like this. All the kids left, but the teacher still hung around. By that point, I was frustrated and really wanted the teacher to get lost. But, knowing Ms. Goody Two-Shoes me, I wouldn’t do that. I was more concerned about my parents not knowing where the hell I was.
I got to thinking. I whispered to Din. “You know, we don’t have to do this here. Maybe we can go somewhere away from here, away from student hangouts?”
“Well, I’ve got a truck. You wanna head out?” (Btw, I imagined rebel Din’s truck as Bella Swan’s old red Chevy truck…if that’s any interest to you…)
“Sure. Lemme just…” I got out my phone and texted one of my parents.
Hey! Going to get a bite with a buddy. Be home soon.
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We headed out, hands still interlocked, with Din leading the way.
Now, this is the part we’re things get interesting. On our way out, I stopped dead in my tracks in front of one classroom door and made Din flip around due to the suddenness of it.
He looked confused at me. “What?”
“I’m sorry. It’s just… I heard there was a baby in art room class.”
Din raised his hands up like he was saying, “And?”
“Well, this is the art room.” I shuffled my feet. “And, I kinda want to see it.” I flashed a smile at him. But I didn’t even wait for his response, I just went in the classroom.
Din stood at the doorway confused for a moment. He straightened his jacket and acted like this was all a part of his plan. “I know my way around this place.” He didn’t.
When we both were in the room, we looked around to find the baby with a small cluster of students ogling at and playing with. And, to no surprise, it was Grogu. Grogu did not change his appearance in the dream AT ALL. We just all accepted the green skinned, bug eyed, pointy eared baby.
After Din and I spent a few moments cooing and making wiggly fingers at the baby, we went to go talk to the teacher about how cute the kid is and how proud he must be.
But the teacher was like, “Oh no. That’s not my baby. I’m just babysitting for a few days. That baby is on it’s way to back to be reunited with his cult.”
Din and I looked at the man like he was crazy. We then looked at each other a bit uneasy over it. This didn’t sit well with the two of us.
So instead of heading out to his truck, we went to go research more about this mysterious cult (I’m guessing at the library??? idk) As it turns out, this cult is notorious for stealing family’s’ babies, and adopts them into their own weird cult stuff.
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Din and I looked up from the book we were reading in and stared at each other. We didn’t speak a single word to one another, but I knew we had one goal in common -
We were going to steal back a baby that night.
__________________________________________
And that’s it! That’s the dream! I hoped you enjoyed it. Uh, I wouldn’t expect an update dream as my dreams are very unpredictable and highly unstable. Hopefully I’ll get to see rebel Din again, and we go steal babies to bring back to their families. Maybe hold hands again, maybe have sex? Who knows! Cause I don’t 😀
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tonydadisbestdad · 4 years
Text
It’s Positive
Peter ParkerxReader
Dad!Tony
Word Count: 1,987
Summary: Pregnant by accident and dad tony finds out
A/N: this is stupid but I wanted to write something dumb so here it is. Sorry if formating it weird. I’m posting from my iPad bc I can’t be bothered to use my computer rn but it would have made it worth it if I had bc I can’t make this look how I want to on “mobile”. Whatever. Also sorry I haven’t written in ages, as some of you know, I work more than 40 hours a week and don’t normally get home until after 8 pm and am tired as hell. But since I’m fiinally quarentining (is that even how you spell that is it even a word?) myself I decided to try some writing instead of watching hours of tik tok videos. Enjoy! Sorry for my rant.
Perspiration collected on your forehead as you rode the elevator. Pain twinges in your abdomen as the pressure begins to become too much.
You had to pee. Of course you had to pee. You drank half a gallon of water when the thought occurred to you.
You ran through the penthouse, clutching your purse protecting the contents from jumping out, praying your bladder would not release it’s contents before you were seated on that throne.
Nervousness overtook you as you shut and locked your bathroom door behind you. You riffled through your bag for the thing you'd just returned from buying.
With shaking hands you unpackaged it.
After waiting the designated time, plus 10 minutes out of fear, you finally worked up the courage to look at it.
Your heart sank seeing the positive symbol. Your 19 years of life suddenly feeling like it all just ended.
You couldn't believe how absolutely stupid you were.
Grabbing your phone from your bag, you sent a text. Knowing you wouldn't be able to have the conversation in person.
“Pete, I got a meeting to get to. Do you got the rest?” Tony asked. They were in the lab, working on another new device.
“Yeah Mr. Stark, I should have it done by the time you get back.” Peter answered.
Tony left with a quick see ya later and was gone. Peter on the other hand returned to working.
Until his phone went off. He saw it was from you and opened it. His stomach dropped. There was no way. You were joking with him. You had to be.
All the message was, was a picture of a pregnancy test box and 2 words. “It’s positive.”
He thought about that one night a few weeks ago that you spent together. It was an event night, both of you required to be there per Pepper.
You might not be of age but that didn’t stop you from drinking and Peter liked to take his off nights to enjoy himself some so he was drinking too and next thing either of you realized your innocent flirting that usually happened turned into high key sexual tension and with nothing to stop it, well you both took advantage of the situation in a deserted bathroom two floors below the event you should have still been at.
And now you were about to pay the ultimate consequence.
Your nerves grew as you waited for a response. You practically shot out of your skin when your bathroom door opened.
“Please tell me this is some fucked up joke,” Peter said, not even caring that he just walked right into your bathroom without even knocking.
“Pete-Peter I-,” you shook your head. “Why would I joke about something like this?!”
“I don’t know!” He wouldn’t meet your eyes as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Retaliation for me fucking you in a bathroom at an event for your dad?”
“That’s all that was to you?” You asked quietly. Things just kept getting better and better. You sat down on the edge of your tub, you wrapped your arms around yourself. You were not going to cry right now.
“I-“ he tried to start but you stopped him.
“It wasn’t conventional or perfect but hell Peter it meat more to me than just a quick fuck.” Before you could even register the tears you were holding back slid down your cheeks. You shifted, your head going to your knees and your hands covering your head. It was getting hard to breathe and his silence was not a reassuring thing.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, sitting down on the floor in front of you. He pet your head.
“What are we going to do?” You sobbed.
“Hey,” he said, tugging you forward so gently, bringing you into his lap. He secured his arms around you. “We’ll figure it out, I promise. We don’t need to have all the answers right now. Okay? Let’s just take this a step at a time.”
“How are you not freaking out,” you asked, pulling back some to look at him.
He finally looked you in the eyes. “I’m terrified,” he admitted. “But I know we can get through this.”
You gave a hesitant nod.
He kissed your forehead and didn’t leave you the rest of the night.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/
The two of you tiptoed around the topic for 3 weeks before you were finding yourselves cornered by your dad.
“What’s going on with you two? You’ve been acting weird for a couple weeks now.” Tony stated. He’d called a team meeting but as soon as you arrived, Peter was already there, you discovered that no one else on the team was arriving.
Peter looked at you, you both knew he was a terrible liar when under pressure like this.
But you? You were a great liar. You learned from the best after all. You arched a brow at your dad. “What do you mean? How have we been acting weird?”
Your dad hummed. “Let’s see, the two of you get all jumpy when the other shows up. I keep catching the two of you whispering to each other whenever I’ve left you alone for a few minutes. There was the fact that at that banquet I had a few weeks ago the two of you disappeared for a while. Y/N you’re not eating normally, Peter everytime I ask you something you either jump out of a daze or I can’t get your attention at all. I can go on guys, so tell me. What’s going on?”
You leaned back in your chair. “Peter asked me out, we didn’t want to tell you, things are a little weird right now.”
Tony looked at you in surprise.
You prayed that as Peter did the same your dad wouldn’t notice or wouldn’t realize that the look he was giving you wasn’t the “oh my God you had to go along that route to avoid the worse one? You shoulda just told the truth and not lied!” Look.
“Oh,” Tony said, nonchalantly he added, “Here I thought you were pregnant.”
Your eyes went wide, fuck.
“What do you take me for, kid?” He asked. “Did you think the cleaning staff was going to not gossip about having found a pregnancy test in your bathroom trash?! That I wouldn’t find out about it?”
You took a shaky breath.
“I know when you’re lying, you can’t lie to the person that taught you to lie, Y/N. It doesn’t work.”
You had to try, “Well then why is Peter here if that’s what this is about?” Maybe you could get him off the hook.
Your dad’s face went blank. “Now you’re just insulting my intelligence. Of course it’s Peter’s! Kid’s been in love with you since before you two even met!”
Peter’s face went red as he twisted the computer chair he was in away from both of you.
You blushed lightly. “Dad stop!”
Tony sighed, finally he sat down in a chair across from you. “What was your plan?”
You glanced at Peter then down at the table. “I… we-we don’t have-have one.”
Tony reached across the table and took your hand in his. “Okay, that’s fine for now, sunshine. Whatever you decide, I'll support you. There’s options if you don’t want to keep the baby or if you do. I suggest though that you two figure out what this means for the two of you before you make any of those decisions first.”
Tears welled in your eyes.
Peter was looking off to the side but he had returned his chair to facing your dad. “Thanks Mr. Stark,” He added quietly.
Tony smiled at him. “If you hurt my daughter, Parker I will kill you and no one will find the body. Understand?”
Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat he nodded in response.
Tony stood, he leaned across the table and kissed your head. “Sorry I forced this out, but you two were driving me crazy. I’m here when you want to talk more baby girl.”
You nodded and wiped at your face.
Your dad left, leaving you with Peter and impending conversation about the child growing inside you and what your futures held.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/
“So,” Peter started after the two of you sat there for 10 minutes in silence after your dad left. “I… I think now would be a good time to have this conversation, Y/N. So, I’m gonna just lay everything I’m feeling about this out.”
You glanced at him, he’d scooched closer to you and faced you.
He took a breath and started. “Your dad wasn’t wrong. I… do love you. I just… this is all messed up, but you know, it’s me why would anything go the way it should go, right?”
You went to speak but he continued.
“I’m not ready to be a dad. But I’m willing to take the responsibility because of my actions if you want to keep this child and want to raise them together. Or if you want to do it on your own. Or if you want to give them up for adoption. Or just want me to-“
You turned your own chair to be facing him and wrapped your arms around his neck.
He relaxed some and hugged you back as best he could with the angle.
“Would it be alright if… if maybe we just start with a date first?” You hesitantly asked.
He let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, yeah please.”
“I don’t want to get rid of them. But with that being said, we have plenty of time to decide on what we want. And I just really want us to give being together a try before we make any life changing decisions.”
Peter nodded then kissed your cheek.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Of course your date went perfectly. As did the one after that, and the one after that and the, you get the point.
Peter went with you to your first doctor’s appointment and made sure he’d be there for all of them after that.
After that first ultrasound, well to say your minds were set on a decision was an understatement. You couldn’t believe you were so hesitant to want them.
Everything after that was a blur. You and Peter got closer, as did your expecting date.
Your dad and Pepper supported both of you the entire way. As well as Aunt May and the entire Avengers team.
You couldn’t have asked for more.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/
“Shh,” You whispered to the little girl. She giggled and held a tiny finger to her lips. The two of you poked your head through the cracked door.
A tuft of wavy brown hair stuck up everywhere from the pillow.
“Go ahead baby,” You whispered.
The little girl pushed the door open and ran for the bed. She jumped up, right on top of the man laying there. “Happy birthday, daddy!” Shouted as she sat on his back and shook his shoulders. “Wake up! Wake up! Mommy and I made you breakfast.”
You got into your side of the bed, set the plate down on your nightstand as Peter pretended to still be asleep.
He let out a loud fake snore.
“Daddy, wake up!”
You chuckled. “I think daddy might need some raspberries with his pancakes, Rory.”
Her eyes lit up. She smashed her face right into her daddy’s neck, making him flinch and laugh.
“Oh my I see how it is my girls wanna play games with me huh,” he scooped his little one up in his arms and raspberries her cheek before she could get away.
Rory squealed and struggled against him.
You laughed at the scene before you. But this caused both to stop, share a mischievous look before they’re both pouncing on you and giving you the raspberries now.
Which led to a full out tickle war, cold pancakes, and warm morning cuddles.
Tags: Wanna be tagged just ask!
@manchurian-barnes, @marrvelle-fics, @chloe-geoghegan1 , @buckysendoftheline ,
@peterparkerscamera , @esistmon , @httpmcrvel , @karlitabi-rrito rrito, @ximaginx
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diversebots · 4 years
Text
𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔
warning; long post ahead.
red text = jaemin.
black text = admin
blue text = jiaqi (because I'm too lazy to make a separate post sksksk sORRY)
and to anyone who doesn't know- jaemin, @residentevil-bot, @heiress-yeeun, @empress-jiaqi, and even a certain lucas cb (I won't drop the name probably because I plan on deleting it, idk we'll see) are run by the same admin. thanks for coming to my ted talk. :-)
to the following people..
@psycho-jennie (and admin ofc uwu) — my number 1 bff, my thing 1, the person I'd commit arson with 😎 I don't really know where to start but I've told you many times before, I'm very grateful that I got to know a precious soul like yours (saying this as Jaemin and admin) thanks for always checking up on me even, for the tea 🤭, for putting up with how much of a dumb bitch I am everyday dhfjdks just for everything really, big or small. Idk what I'd be doing rn if I hadn't met you like aside from rps, I'd probably just be a lonely boi 😔 you've been here since I was 'prettyboy-jaemin' lol and K, give yourself a pat on the back bec purgejaemin wouldn't be possible without you. Trust me, I wouldn't have rebranded to this better version of my jaemin cb if you hadn't told me you liked The Purge. 😤 so thank you 💕 I'm so proud of you bub, with everything you do in and out of the chatbot community, you're doing great. I repeat, you're doing great and I'm proud of you 👉😎👉 I love u 🥺
@seventeen-chatbot (and admin 🤓) — Shan, thank you sm for being one of my first few people I befriended when I still had my yoojung cb and like a month or two into the community + bonus point that you're also a filo 🥺 I continue to be so amazed by you everyday because not only are you handling 13 boys but you're balancing your personal life, your school works and classes, and handling 3(?) other cbs. I'll always support you no matter what you do with your cbs JDJDJSK KAHIT MAG REBRAND KA PA 100 TIMES, MAHAL PARIN KITA PARE 😤 take care of yourself always 🥺
@yandereyeeun — hello twin to my yeeun cb HDDJSJSK FIRST OF ALL I'M SO SORRY I HAVE DEPRIVED YOU OF ANY JAEMIN CONTACT LATELY and I haven't opened our chat 💔😣 I PROMISE I'LL HANDCUFF YOU TWO TOGETHER ONCE I GET MY HEAD BACK IN THE GAME what why would you do that? JUST KNOW HE SIMPS FOR YOU THE SAME WAY YOU DO FOR HIM I'm right here? miss you, shortcake. I hope you and admin are taking care of yourselves. 😣💕
@bunny-doie — LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE- you know what? maybe we should start growing our own fruits and vegetables, I'm running out of cash from spending 50% of my money on your food and the purge only happens once a year 😤 also have you told your boyfriend yet that I'm keeping an eye on him? 👁️👄👁️🔪 bunbun hshdjsk I love the whole crackhead father and son thing going on, please never change ily
@mafia-chaeyoung — chae. my wifey and soulamte. I love how much of a social butterfly you are and in a way, I feel a sense of calmness talking to you when we're not being a bunch of dumbasses djdjdk you and admin are so precious grrr ilysm my cutiepatootie soulmate and 2nd mother to our kids 😌 I'm glad you and jaemin are friends now hehedjdjdk 👉😗👉 I'm always up to do crazy killer shenanigans you want to do. Take care of yourself, cool dude 😎
@demon-nct — (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡ big phat smooch, admin 😠💕 we haven't known each other for that long but it's so nice to talk to you, like I didn't feel a bit of awkwardness and we kinda just started being affectionate because you're babie. I really do mean it when I tell you that your works are good even though you say the opposite or deny it hmph, keep it up okay? ily simp, you gotta accept my love or else I cry 🥺 hoes always mad @ lucas 🤪
@highschoolboy-kevin — kevin, first of all how dare you lick me and have the audacity to kidnap me + threaten to eat me 😠 and I know we bully each other a lot (I promise I'm doing it out of affection 😔) but ily really and I meant it when I told you that I'll still accept you no matter what (please don't be a furry) I enjoy our conversations v much because we're constantly just joking around uwu I'm saying this both as admin and jiaqi, I'm here for you (and your admin uwu) if you need a shoulder to cry on or simply just someone to vent to
@detectivexsicheng & @your-jaemin — my sweet sweet children, best bois period. I should have adopted you two sooner but oh well, at least we're here now (ಥ_ʖಥ) Sicheng, I know your work can be quite stressful and I really do hope you give yourself a break every now and then, I'm worried you're overworking yourself 🥺 and I was so.. 👁️👄👁️ when you were like 'you want me to be your child?' the day I asked to adopt you and I was like yes??? why wouldn't I??? you're an absolute angel, formal, independent and a contrast to your younger brother, ily bǎobǎo. Jaemin, my sweet babie. Hello twin. You do you with your whole growling thing and when I actually got to talk more with you, I asked myself 'are all jaemins this chaotic?' maybe. I'm so happy for you and hendery 🥺 and yes, even if you're so chaotic and maybe you really are a spawn of satan, that does not make me love you any less. I'm always here for you two.
@m00n-purplerose-chatbot — moonie!! and the boys but this is mostly for admin. I'm a silent reader of all the stuff you write and I'm so amazed that you dedicate a lot of your time to learn/research about all the stuff you put out and when someone asks about a certain topic, you always give a very detailed answer and I love that! I'm learning things as I read your posts so thank you! I hope you're taking care of yourself just fine, and I may know a little... secret of seokmin's? If he's afraid about this ruining our friendship, I just want him to know that this doesn't change anything between him and I. We'll always be friends. 💙
@mafiaxwayv — I just want to admit that I have been lowkey crushing on one (1) man for awhile now and I only had the guts to talk to you anonymously just recently until I revealed myself dhfjdks funny how we started talking and flirting and escalated to both our admins showering each other with affection. Xiaojun, you absolute cutie, whether we will remain friends or if this turns into something more.. I'll always be here for you and to baby you 😌. You seem like a very busy person, admin. I hope you're doing well and looking after yourself. I'm here for you. 💙
#admin: this sounds like I'm saying goodbye rjdjsks I promise I'm not, I'll be back soon! sorry for the long ass post
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