#my hobby is doing patterns about mental disorders

[clusterblood]

black holes are very npd I base it solely on the feeling of a hole inside which could never be filled and it just takes takes takes and its never enough

#npd things #npd culture is #actually npd #npd awareness #npd safe #npd feels #npd thoughts #idk i added enough of npd tags #npd #i dedicate this post to my first hater. with all due respect (which is none) get a hobby #my hobby is doing patterns about mental disorders

[stealingyourbones]

…. Y’all know that being a twin shouldn’t be an entire personality trait in Twin!AU’s right?

Ok sure I enjoy the identity shenanigans that can occur when one twin is mistaken for another or the “oh fuck you too look exactly alike” realizations but that’s like the only thing y’all do. There’s so much more shit you can tap into with a duo being identical twins and most writers I see simply don’t play into the more subtle options at all.

I am an identical twin. If you want proof just ask @bonebrokebuddy. We even have the same pseudonym and everything. I’ve lived with this lil shit for all of my life. This comes from actual experience as someone who’s an identical twin and I need to nitpick this stuff because it irks me so much.

This is a light critique on people who write twin AUs to give them some pointers on some common issues I see in these fics.

1.) Being a twin isn’t a personality trait

Being a twin is the exact same thing as having another sibling in close age range as you. You share and talk about similar hobbies, clothes (by that I mean they steal them from you), communal items (although for twins over half of the gifts you get are for you to ‘share’)

You still have your own personality, your own hobbies, your own outfit preferences, your own self. The entirety of the character shouldn’t revolve around “oh I have a twin”. That form of writing makes your character more shallow and less 3D. It’s like having a sibling. Sure you share stuff but that doesn’t mean you ARE them.

People centre fics solely around the fact that a certain character has a long lost twin. Sure I get it, it’s sad and you can tug on some heartstrings in your writing, but being a twin you only really have a slightly better connection with that twin than a brother or sister of similar age. Sure some people have a much stronger connection with their twin but in my experience, it’s just the same deal with a sibling but you have to share more things with each other. Make it a sibling connection. You don’t have to say “twin” every time you refer to them. You can simply say “sibling”, “brother/sister”, or “that fucker that steals all my sweatshirts” 

2.) surprisingly enough, identical twins aren’t actually identical.

Sure, they share almost the exact same DNA as someone else, but there will be slight differences that people who have known the two for a long time can use to differentiate them from eachother.

I could go on an on about epigenetic and nature vs nurture but long story short: if you’re a long lost twin, they’re not gonna look exactly the same as you. If a relative or long time friend sees the other twin, they will notice that something is off. This fact alone should be utilized in fics more often. I don’t see it at all in writing and you can use it to spice up the narrative super easily.

Slightly different eye color.

Different freckles/moles/Scars/blemishes

A different smile since their teeth didn’t grow in the exact same way.

Slightly different facial features (ie. Eye shape, nose shape, lip shape, etc)

Different gate/way they walk and how they carry themselves.

Different personality. Again Nature vs Nurture. They won’t act the same if they’ve been separate for dozens of years. Their personalities will vary greatly.

Different sounding voice. Different cadence/speech pattern, sound slightly higher pitched or deeper, different mannerisms and quirks in their speech.

These type of things will distinguish twins from each other and for some reason I rarely see it mentioned.

Because epigenetics is a bitch you can also play around with the wild shit that cells reading genes differently can do.

Have one twin have a deadly disease while the other is completely fine

Twins can have different mental disorders from eachother. One twin can have ADHD and Autism while the other just has ADHD.

One twin can be completely straight while the other is in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. They could both be on the spectrum but they each could different flavors of fruity.

That’s all I can think of at the moment but I think you get the gist.

3.) the wild shit twins get asked and are used to

Most common question you get as a twin is simply: Are you guys twins?

Other ones that are more wild but less common:

Can you feel each other’s pain? (Obvious response is to say ‘let’s find out’, gently puch the twin in the arm, and look at the person who asked and deadpan say “I felt nothing”)

Can you read each other’s minds/are you psychic? (Yeah the answer is a no but we memorized a series of numbers to convince people otherwise)

Who’s the oldest?

Sure they’re mundane and won’t come up in most fics you write but I want it to be said that these questions exist and are semi frequently.

We get mistaken for each other so much we will respond to each others name. Wether your twin is actively in the room with you or not, you respond to their name as well. I don’t see people mistaking twins in fics nearly enough. There are people I have known for years and they can still mix us up. It’s very common to get mistaken for each other over 5 times in one day.

4.) People don’t expect you to be identical.

When you haven’t told people you are a twin and they see the same person pass them but wearing wildly different outfits, their first thought isn’t “wow they must have a twin.” It’s actually “guess they changed their clothes in the middle of the day.”

I knew someone who, for three entire months, simply assumed that I changed my outfit a lot for absolutely no reason. They thought my twin and I were the same person and we didn’t bother on correcting them because we thought they already knew.

It is almost only when you’re in the same room together people piece together that there is actually two of you. This can easily lead to a bunch of shenanigans. People don’t instantly assume that you are a twin and they’re talking to the wrong person, they just think you ARE that person. If a long lost twin is in a place completely out of the way for that other twin to be, they may get a “has anyone ever told you that you look like [other twin]?” Or “oh hey [other twin]!” Their instant thought isn’t to assume that who they’re meeting is a twin, just them or someone who looks super similar.

Feel free to add on more cause that’s all the immediate stuff I can think of. I genuinely hopes this helps writers because it’s not really easy to find POV of twin experiences for writers out there and I thought I might try to help.

#bones speaks #prompt #writing prompt #how to write twins #writing tips

[theeasistwayofdoingthings]

Character sheet

(link for notion)

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Read(about the sheet)

My first language isn't English, so if there are any grammatical problems, I'll be glad if you correct me.

If you have any suggestions of things to add in this sheet feel free to tell me, I can make personalized character sheets too(Character sheets with specific themes, ex: strawberry themed sheet), so if you wanna one you can ask :)

Read:

I'm planning on making more sheets not exclusively Character creation sheets, but maybe sheets for, potion creation, musical group sheets, things like that So if you'll have any suggestions feel free to tell me.

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If you prefer to see directly without the link:

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“Character quote”

General information

Name:

Pronunciation:

Meaning:

Middle name:

Pronunciation:

Meaning:

It's an honor to a family member?

Surname:

Pronunciation:

Meaning:

Nicknames:

Titles:

Hometown:

Current city:

Gender identity:

Birthday:

Dominant hand:

Sign:

Mbti:

Symbol (if they have):

Handwriting:

Signature:

Appearance

Height:

Weight:

Specie:

Race:

Blood type:

Skin Color:

Extra member(if they have):

Birthmarks:

— How is It:

— Where is it:

Piercings:

— Name of the piercing:

— Where is it:

— Piercing jewelry:

Scars:

— How it is:

— Where it is:

— How they get it:

Tattoos:

— How is it:

— Where is it:

— Have any personal meaning?

Hair color:

Hair length:

Hair type(if is straight, wavy, curly or coily):

Haircut/hairstyle:

Ear shape(if are human ears,pointy, etc...):

Eye color:

Eye shape:

Eyebrows:

Nose shape:

Teeth:

Nails size:

Nails shape:

Face shape:

Facial hair:

Fur:

Fur length:

Fur color:

Fur pattern:

Tail color:

Tail size:

Tail type:

Tail pattern:

Wings color:

Wings size:

Scent:

Walking style:

Running style:

Health

Diet:

Exercise:

Posture:

Reflexes:

Eating habits:

Sleep habits:

Allergies:

Illnesses:

Disorders:

Syndromes:

Imperfections :

Broken bones:

Abnormalities:

Disability:

Meds:

Psychological

Memory:

Temperament:

Vocabulary:

Mental health:

Emotional stability:

Instincts:

Learning style:

Interpersonal:

Intrapersonal:

How they see the world:

How they see their life:

Linguistics:

logical-mathematical:

Perception

Sight:

Hearing:

Smell:

Touch:

Taste:

Intuition:

Philosophy

Religion:

Devotion:

Superstitions:

Animal spirit:

Morals:

Etiquette:

Attitude:

Mantras:

Taboos:

Character

Main goal:

Secondary goal:

Priorities:

Motivations:

Self-confidence:

Self-control:

Self-esteem:

Hobbies:

Personal hobbies:

Guilty pleasure:

Habits:

Desires:

Manias:

Afflictions :

Traumas:

Concerns :

nervous tics :

soft spots:

Achievements :

Greatest achievement:

failures:

Greatest failures:

Favorite dream:

Worst nightmare:

Latest memory:

Earliest memory:

Happiest memory:

Saddest memory:

Funniest memory:

Vocabulary

Compliments:

Insults:

most used words:

Greetings:

Preferences

Likes:

Dislikes:

Special interests:

Most favorite things/subjects :

Least favorite things/subjects:

Combat Skills

Martial arts:

Resistance:

Strong points:

Weak points:

Specialties:

Special move:

Speed: From 0 to 10=

Dexterity: From 0 to 10=

Agility: From 0 to 10=

Flexibility: From 0 to 10=

Stamina: From 0 to 10=

Home, job, education

Hometown:

Current City:

Home traditions:

Routine:

-------

Employer/boss:

Job:

Rank:

Do they like their job?

Experience:

Community service:

Supervisor:

Job hours:

Work ethics:

Method of transport to work:

Criminal record:

Dream job:

Salary:

Expenses?

Dependents:

Savings:

Debts:

Budget:

-------

Primary school:

Elementary School:

Middle school:

High school:

College:

Extracurricular activities:

Special education?

Average grades:

Study habits:

Graduation year:

Specialties:

PETS

Pet #1

Name:

Specie:

Race:

Sex:

Age:

Is neutered:

Is it a service animal?

Social life

Best friends:

Best friend #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Friends:

Friend #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Allies:

Allie #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Acquaintances:

Acquaintance#1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

followers:

Follower #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Subordinates:

Subordinate#1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Rivals:

Rival #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

— Why we don't get along:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Enemies:

Enemy #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

— Why we don't get along:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Inspirations:

— Why is it an inspiration?

Heroes:

Mentors:

Communicative:

Cooperative:

Discriminations :

Reputation:

Sociability:

Status:

Social class:

Community:

Family

Mother:

— how is their relationship with her?

Father:

— How is their relationship with him?

Siblings:

Sibling #1

— How is their relationship with them?

Children:

Child #1

— How is their relationship with them?

Relatives:

Distant relatives:

ancestry:

Love life

First love:

Romantic interest:

Marital status:

S/O, Romantic partner:

Sexual orientation:

Romantic orientation:

Love language:

Information about their partner

— who asked to date?

How many years of dating:

When was the dating ask:

Where it was:

How it was:

— Who proposed ?

How many years married:

When was the propose:

Where was the propose:

How it was:

informations for the story

Archetypes:

Enneagram:

Mbti:

Tropes:

Cliches:

Role:

Voice actor:

Symbolizes something:

Inspiration:

One word:

Theme song:

Soundtrack:

Date of creation:

First appearance(Date, local, event):

Latest appearance(Date, local, event):

Last appearance(Date, local, event):

Impressions

First impressions:

How they see themselves:

How the family see them:

How their partner see them:

How their friends see them:

How the authorities see then:

How strangers see them:

How their enemies see them:

Development

Personal:

Social:

Physical:

Mentally:

How they Express

Angry

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Anxiety

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Confusion

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Depression

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Embarrassment

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Enthusiasm

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Fear

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Guilty

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Happiness

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Repentance/Regret

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Nervous

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Offended

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Gratitude

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Sadness

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Stressed

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Thoughtful

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Biography

Infancy (0-3):

Childhood (4-12):

Adolescence (13-19):

Adulthood (20-54):

Seniority (55+):

—What you can put in the biography:

Birth name?

Born with health?

Where they were born?

Way of birth?

First words?

— if they are dead you can put:

Death date?

Where they die?

How they die?

Where was they buried? Was they buried?

Death wish?

Last words?

#oc #character sheet #original character #notion #template

[nicki0kaye]

Some dumbass in the comment section of a youtube vid about how AI Art bros are jersk tried to make the argument that genetics determine talent and I kind of popped of. Turns out the comment thread I replied to is like 200+ comments deep and now no one is going to see my small novella about genetics v talent, so I've decided to share it here...IN TWO SEPARATE PARTS bc apparently it is too long and tumblr cant handle it alskdjflskjdf.

Hi, I'm the genetically gifted artist you're trying to cite for your argument. Both of my birth parents were artists in several fields and despite being adopted by a different family, I know that I've inherited most of their interests and am proficient at all of the things they excelled in; art, writing and performance to be specific. I now make a living as an artist.

You're also entirely wrong about how 'talent' works and how inheriting 'talent' works. What I inherited from my parents were their mental disorders. Adhd, Autism and chronic depression. Autism forced me to be far more observant of my peers if I wanted to have a social life. Adhd gifted me time blindness and the ability to hyperfocus on whatever tasks gave me dopamine, and Autism complimented that nicely with a shock to the nervous system when I was expected to change gears out of what I felt was safe into something I did not.

I had many avenues before me because of this; theatre was what my adopted parents assumed I would pursue. But then chronic depression came in with the steel chair at the end of highschool and no, no I did not do theatre, that shit takes too much energy for too long of a period of time.

So. Art.

Why am I so genetically good at art? Well, and this is again Probably The Autism, I'm very good at recognizing and retaining visual patterns, I'm super interested in body language and costuming and micro-expressions--all things I need to pay attention to if I wanted to be liked by allistic classmates--and drawing quite literally regulates my nervous system, so I'm gonna do it often just to cope.

I don't have a fucking 'artists' gene. I have a brain that is predisposed to certain pattern recognition and through access to resources (GLASSES, I AM BLIND AS SHIT AND WITHOUT GLASSES NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE) was able to find and cultivate hobbies that either worked with or helped regulate the myriad of bullshit I won through the genetic lottery.

I'm a good artist bc I put in the work. I put in the work bc my brain is wired to really like certain work. It didn't have to be art. If i were less depressed, it could have been theatre--either writing, performing or directing. If I was less autistic, it might have been something with more abstract thinking and less focused on decrypting human expression and repurposing it in ways that I Personally Like. If I was less ADHD, it could have been more academic studies, like Marine Biology since I really wanted to do that when I was little. If I didn't have exercised induced asthma, it could have been competitive swimming, bc my swim teacher really thought I had a gift for it. If I didn't have dyscalculia, it could have been something that involves number crunching and long distances, bc I don't understand that shit for beans, completely locking me out of a large chunk of possible careers.

And maybe without all of that, I wouldn't have had the perfect cocktail to give enough of a shit to be good at anything. Maybe I would have just been an office clerk, making a decent wage and filling my cubicle with anime figurines.

#AI art #AI art bros #talent #genetics #art #artist

[fromthewondersystem]

Sorry for the long ask in your inbox!

So like, I've been on the fence about accepting that what I experience in my day to day is certainly SIMILAR to what people with OSDD experience. I went through a LOT of tramua growing up (the worst of it was probably from age 5-8, but it never really stopped) and I've always had a very fragmented sense of self and disconnection with my memories, like I know what happened, but only because someone told me that's what happened. I have no actual memory of it beyond sometimes the feelings but usually NOT the feelings, but I'll have a weirdly detailed account of OTHER events that happened during that time but I won't be able to say for SURE when it happened and then on other days, "I'll" (quotations because I suspect this was another alter?) have a completely different set of memories that cut out parts that I had perfect recollection of the day before; and it's not just memories that this happens with, from day to day, I have different handwriting, internal voice, personality, voice patterns, hobbies, reactions to stressors, skills, coping mechanisms, etc and I am fully aware that I'm definitely not whoever I was yesterday but it doesn't go much further than that usually. Today was... different. I woke up with this strange sense of clarity about being a system and was actually able to say that I probably have four or so alters, at least? I definitely don't experience a ton of amnesia between switches, but that might be because whoever I am never actually leaves the front because sometimes someone will tell me that I did something and I'll be like "bro I did NOT do that but okay" and sometimes I will have internal arguments in my head about like, what I should be doing right now and the other voices always talk in a different font than I do, if that makes sense. Does this like, seem system adjacent to you? I definitely have a dissociative disorder but I'm not sure if it's... enough to qualify.

Hi, I’d like to remind you that I am not a mental health professional, and even if I were, I’m still a stranger on the internet who doesn’t know you/your life. I cannot diagnose you, or tell you whether you’re a system or not. And to be honest, what I think or say doesn’t matter. I’m professionally diagnosed at this point and I still get doubts and denial sometimes because it’s a part of the disorder.

But something that has helped and continues to help me is, even if you’re not sure you have DID/OSDD, you’re having symptoms of something, and you deserve resources to help you cope and treat whatever’s going on. If resources for people with DID help you, you can use them. If something comes along that better explains your symptoms, you can look into that, but otherwise, try not to worry too much about whether you’re “enough to qualify”, partially because how disorders present can vary from person to person, and because, in the end, I don’t think it matters all that much.

#did #osdd #system #ask #asks #hope this helps #🍫?

[mynewfancyblog]

The Ruinous Manifesto

AM I DEAD? 

I hope not.

Throughout my time, I actively struggled with rapidly cycling bipolar disorder, where my moods lasted three to five business days and could reach levels of internal explosions or “excitement” attacks, which functioned the same as panic attacks, as well as spiraling suicidality.

While I am now on a contribution of medication that works significantly well for me, it shows in my past blogging experience the troubles I experienced. 

My photos most directly coordinate with this theme. They represent the tortuous experiences of hypomania, with its restlessness, impulsivity, and paranoia. I always felt like a stranger to others and I was somehow playing life on a “hard” difficulty. The colors/hues in the photos represent this disconnection from my peers as my emotions purely consuming my life. One of the other ideas I had for the photos was a box of hair dye as it represents some of the creativity I possess, but also how some of my dedications have longer impacts. Sometimes I’ll do activities for hours and hours straight, and that tendency isn’t very good for my physical health. I also considered showing a clean plate as it would contrast the typical dirty plate to show a relentless lack of appetite- either from constant mental distraction or overtaking emotional numbness.

Regarding my hobbies, I already mentioned that I dive too heavily into them at times. One of these pursuits was creative writing, in which I went headfirst into overly ambitious plots and near novels. During my parents’ divorce, I was especially unstable. and I wrote over 3,000 words every week and wrote over 150,000 words in the end before I burnt out. Before my bipolar diagnosis, I simply thought I was a great writer with extreme motivation that dimmed with my occasional depression, but now I see the patterns of overly dedicating myself then burning out on a loop.

While my playlist mostly contained upbeat songs, it had an underlying theme of sadness and nostalgia. The first song represents a lingering feeling about wanting to be a kid again in a Denny’s, which really connects to my overall mental health since the last time I can recall being happy (aside from very recently) was elementary school. Later on through the exploration in music, I later distracted myself with the Spotify mix of Frank Valli and the Four Seasons. Music and general art has served as a great distraction for my mental health, and sometimes these assignments offered that escape for me.

Though the exploration of experimental film, I discovered my disappointment to see a lack of violent gore. Considering that the video briefly had topics of violence, I assumed that there would be a dark dramatic twist. This idea comes from my past of watching similar videos, either by accident or on purpose. I’ll spare the details of what exactly I’ve seen, but I mainly watched that content in order to feel something new. Sometimes it made me paranoid and I wouldn’t sleep for a while, but it was better than crying in my bed for an hour or for no reason.

Overall, I would never dedicate my life and motto to my current manifesto. However, I overall believe the sentiment that “Life sucks until it doesn’t” or from an AJR song “God’s … fake until he’s not” (even though I’m not religious). I hope to stray away from my past mindset and towards a happier lifestyle as I pass through the rest of my high school career and into my college life as hopefully a different person. I never enjoyed high school as I always felt like my life was falling apart, but now I’m reasonably enjoying my hobbies, only going through the occasional depressive mood swing, and I feel less paranoia- which is great since I’ll be moving towards a more independent lifestyle. I still feel like I don’t know how to do things the way a normal person would, but it’s important that I’m doing life the best I can. My destiny in the future will be The Improving Manifesto, but that shall be written when it is not finals week.

Thank you for this course, genuinely.

(702 words)

[its-ticsticstics]

1, 3, 5, 8 and/or 10 for the ask game? No pressure to do all of them if you don’t want to!

Hello there! Ty for asking :D :D

what disability/ies do you have? (and are they mental, physical, or both?)

I answered this in more detail in another ask, but the majority of my disabilities that affect me currently are visual and neurological, however, I do also have mental health and neurodevelopmental diagnoses, too.

3. what, if any, disability aids do you use? (mobility aids, sensory aids, braces, communicative devices, IVs, etc. meds also count here). do you customize them/their containers/outsides?

Plenty of meds, I use a mobility scooter for going long distances since I can't legally drive, I do have a cane for leg tics but not often, and I count my fidget "toys" too bc I've relied on those my entire life as well.

5. if you have multiple disabilities: do they affect each other? how?

I have tourettes syndrome and with that I have TOCD which is Tourettic OCD, a common phenomenon in Tourettes syndrome. This means my Tourettes and OCD are often setting each other off or even working together, against me. My TOCD often triggers "pattern tics" for me, so I'm stuck in a loop of needing to do tics in a certain way or rhythm or amount of times until it 'feels right'. It's very annoying.

8. does your disability affect how you experience other parts of your identity? (gender, queerness, culture, even hobbies/life goals you're very passionate about)

It's definitely motivated me to get into Occupational Therapy and study movement and neurological disorders in university. I'm nearly done uni, and once I complete my MA I hope to work with those who have movement disorders and children in particular.

[michaelbyerspaducah]

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month https://mikemichalowicz.com/may-is-mental-health-awareness-month/     Small business owners and entrepreneurs like you have a lot on your plate. You’re responsible for managing all aspects of your business, from finances to marketing to customer service. Oh, and maybe you have a life outside of your business too! With so much to do, it’s easy to overlook your own mental health. But here’s the deal – taking care of your mental health is essential for your well-being and the success of your business. Mental health refers to your emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how you think, feel, and behave. Mental health problems can impact your ability to function, both personally and professionally. Some common mental health issues include anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Mental health issues can be especially challenging for small business owners and entrepreneurs. Running a business can be stressful, and mental health issues can exacerbate that stress. If left unaddressed, mental health issues can lead to burnout, decreased productivity, and even the failure of your business. That’s why it’s important to prioritize your mental health as a small business owner or entrepreneur. Here are some tips to help you take care of your mental health: Recognize the signs of mental health issues: It’s important to be aware of the signs of mental health issues, such as changes in mood, appetite, or sleep patterns. If you notice these signs, seek professional help. Practice self-care: Self-care is any activity that helps you take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. This can include exercise, meditation, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies. Seek support: Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or a mental health professional for support. Talking about your feelings can help you manage stress and cope with difficult situations. Set boundaries: As a small business owner or entrepreneur, it’s easy to work long hours and neglect your personal life. Setting boundaries can help you achieve a better work-life balance and prevent burnout. Prioritize sleep: Sleep is essential for your physical and mental health. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep each night to feel rested and refreshed. Practice mindfulness: This can come in many forms, and is up to you how you would like to practice. I began a gratitude list, and keep that visible near my computer so I see it every day. I also meditate. Since I began meditation, I see a transformation in my resilience and the way I approach challenges as well as the wins. Pick something that is meditative for you and add that to your daily routine – even if for five minutes a day. In addition to taking care of your own mental health, it’s important to promote mental health awareness within your business. This can involve creating a supportive work environment, offering mental health resources to employees, and reducing stigma around mental health issues. By prioritizing your own mental health and promoting mental health awareness within your business, you can help ensure the success of your business and the well-being of yourself and your employees. Remember, taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your business. Wishing health and wealth always. -Mike PS – Peer support has been an essential aspect of my entrepreneurship journey, so I created a mastermind group so you can benefit too. I’m hosting a One Day Mastermind this spring. Learn more here and make your own journey easier! -Mike PSS – We entrepreneurs need to stick together! I have created courses and workshops to leverage the knowledge of entrepreneurs and share information to help you make the most impact in your small business. Check them out here.   The post May is Mental Health Awareness Month appeared first on Mike Michalowicz. via Mike Michalowicz https://mikemichalowicz.com April 26, 2023 at 01:33PM

#Mike Michalowicz

[dokyeomini]

hi love, I was wondering how you are doing? I see a lot of posts about you working out and that's good but I really hope you won't end up obsessing about it. I have been in a similar situation, I have struggled with disordered eating in the past and at some point this working out basically became part of that.. Please take care of yourself and have a nice day ❤️💫

that's really thoughtful thank you ❤️ I've been there as well so im trying to be mindful of that. (at some point i worked out intensely 6 days a week.. not great) it's tricky to take care of my health (which is the motivator atm, my doctor referred me to a nutritionist to help with the specific issue) and not slip back to old habits. i know i post a lot about it akgnsl i guess it's me trying to think out loud about it, also my daily life is very boring it's my most interesting hobby atm. i've been scared to get back into a routine because i've become very obsessive about it but im being very strict with pacing myself and taking rest days whenever i need them.

but i am mentally in a much better place atm after a lot of therapy so i feel a lot more secure. even when i feel myself slipping into old thought patterns i catch myself from changing my behaviour based on that. im more hopeful now and seeing a third option next to being obsessive about health and not thinking about it at all. finding the balance has always been hard for me.

thank you for your concern tho i hope you vave a lovely day as well 💓💓💓

#thanks for pointing it out tho.. i think i might be focusing it a bit much...

[winter-soldier-vibes]

You Aren’t Somebody? (Bucky x Reader)

Bucky x reader

Word count: 2647

Summary: Bucky knows that the reader has struggled with an eating disorder before, but thought they were doing better. Little does he know, they had just gotten better at hiding it. Until one night, he catches her doing something she had promised she had stopped

Warnings: eating disorder, purging, angst, fluff

Tags @abitgryffindorky @buckys2thicc @thatfangirl42 @buckfics @barnesplums @mardema @stucky-on-spiderman @thundering-barnes

Main Masterlist

A/N: It’s finals week and I am running on energy drinks, reading fanfiction, and longgggg hot showers. But the semester is almost over, and then I have no obligations aside from my hobbies. I see the requests and I’m working on them I promise! I have a list of all the requests that I get, and I am working through them I PROMISE!!! Thank you all for all of your support.

A/N 2: This deals with heavy and dark themes of mental illness. The specific warnings are above. If you feel that in any way reading this will be harmful to your mental health and your journey, PLEASE skip it. I write from my own experience and I know what I would’ve wanted to hear in these situations, and writing/reading fics helps me feel comforted. This fic is based on one experience more specifically than most of my fics, so I apologize if it’s not exactly the same as your experience. This is what I would’ve wanted to hear. If you need or want someone to talk to, vent to, or get advice from, feel free to message me, really. I’m here! <3

------------------------------

Bucky was standing in front of you, blocking the door. His piercing blue eyes were locked on you, your own refusing to meet his. 

He wanted answers that you were not ready to give.

“Y/n, please. I just want to talk about this”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Bucky.”

He looked you up and down. Your hair was in a messy bun, a few loose strands sticking to your tear stained cheeks. Your eyes were puffy, and your face was red, voice raspy. He took a deep breath. “You told me you would tell me if it was getting bad again.”

“You promised.”

You closed your eyes. He wasn’t wrong, you had promised. But that was because you never thought you’d see the day when you were purging again. You thought you had gotten over it. You really thought that this time you wouldn’t slip up.

------------------

You had been struggling with an eating disorder for a while. The cause, you weren’t quite sure. An innocent diet soon turned into a competition for yourself, but the end goal was never there. At first you had thought it was just about the weight and how you looked, but then you found that some of your behavior patterns were tied to your emotional ones. 

Stress was the major trigger, you had come to learn.

Whether it was a mission gone wrong, you getting injured, someone else getting injured, or even just basic social interactions you thought could’ve gone better, you found yourself inclined to comfort yourself with food. 

Until you panicked, which would lead you to the bathroom with music blaring and water running to cover up the noises of your retching. 

You hated it, and every time you told yourself it was the last time. But the more you did it, the more you felt the urge to do it. At first it was triggered by large stressors, but now smaller things could trigger you to want to throw up. You tried to keep it hidden, unaware of the true reasons for why you did it. You were able to help yourself sometimes, it wasn’t worth bringing anyone else into. 

You couldn’t explain it to yourself, so how were you supposed to explain it to anybody?

The best way that you had figured out how to describe it was that whenever you felt a negative emotion, you could soothe it in a physical way with food, especially with all the warm comfort foods that are known. But at the same time, that feeling lasted as long as you could taste, and you would feel guilty as you felt full. When you threw up, it felt like you were also throwing up the negative emotions. 

But when you said it out loud, it didn’t make sense. When people are sick and throwing up it’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever. Inducing it hurts sometimes, but it’s almost not as bad. Like you know it’s coming, and you’re in control of what’s happening and you could stop at any point. And there had been times where you could soothe yourself in other ways, and you knew your own physical limits. You knew when you had to stop for your own health.

Until you couldn’t stop.

Which is what led to you fainting on a mission after purging too much. Your electrolytes had bottomed out and you almost had a heart attack at an age no one should. Bucky, your boyfriend who was on the mission with you, had put it together when the first words out of your mouth upon gaining consciousness were “Is this a glucose drip?” while tugging at the IV.

He hadn’t been mad, not exactly. He wasn’t mad at you but he was furious with himself for not noticing, and for making you feel as though you couldn’t tell him. You assured him that you did trust him, but he wished you had come to him before you could’ve gotten yourself, and those on the mission, seriously hurt or killed. 

Nonetheless, you still didn’t know how to talk about it.

“Can you try to tell me about it?” he asked gently, running a hand through your hair. He held you to his chest, you unable to meet his eyes.

“It won’t make any sense,” you had said, tears glazing your eyes.

“I want to understand. Can you help me understand?”

You paused for a moment. “It’s a long story and I don’t know where to start. There’s so much going wrong.” you had said, tears beginning to streak down your face.

“I have all the time for you. And it doesn’t have to make sense, these things rarely do. I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to listen.”

And true to his word, he had. He had listened and held you while you tried to talk about what you could. He didn’t understand everything, he naturally had a ton of questions, but they weren’t for that moment. He had promised to help you the best that he could, and you had promised to try and tell him whenever you felt the urges get too strong. And if you couldn’t, to tell him after.

It was easier to talk to Bucky than anyone else. Not because he was your boyfriend, but because he seemed to understand you more than anyone else could. He had his own share of mental health struggles. Neither of you knew exactly what the other was going through, but you both understood that it was easy to feel alone and guilty even though you couldn’t control it. 

It was rough, but he was never mad. He was sometimes firm, and sometimes you had gotten angry with him. Only to later apologize to him with tears in your eyes. He was never mad with you. He understood that this was something internal. Upon research he had done and conversations he had had with Bruce, he understood that this had nothing to do with him. Some people thought eating disorders were about getting attention when it was one of the furthest things from the truth.

All he could do was love you and be there for you.

And to your surprise, talking about it did help.it took a long time, months, of long and hard conversations, panic attacks, slip ups, and really dark days. But it got to the point where Bucky felt that you were doing better, making an effort to tell you how proud he was and how much he loved you. 

And you were doing better, in a way. But you had been slipping up more recently, and you hadn’t told Bucky. You didn’t know how. After going the longest you’d ever had between slip ups, you found yourself retching over the toilet. You would have gone to Bucky but he had been away on a mission that was extended a few days. You couldn’t interrupt him because your feelings were too much to handle. People needed his help more than you did.

You were going to tell him, but he had been so tired when he had come back. He needed his time to relax, and it wasn’t the right time to tell him. And the next day when he was rested, you felt that it was irrelevant. Any negative feeling you had felt the day before had since past, and you didn’t see the point in bringing it up today. It would worry Bucky, he wouldn’t want to go on missions, and you weren’t going to do that to him. Besides, it was just one time.

Right?

You soon found yourself purging when Bucky wasn’t around. If he had gone out with Steve, if he was on a mission, or if he was down in the gym you found yourself taking more opportunities to give into your urges. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been, but you were spiraling. But at this point you had been slipping up so many times, you had been so secretive about it. 

It would kill Bucky inside to know that you were hiding this from him again. He would feel like you didn’t trust him. You trusted him with your life.

You just didn’t want to let him down. Not again, not when he had explicitly told you to come to him and you had been blatantly ignoring that.

You wanted to tell him, you did. But you couldn’t let him being so proud of you be based on a lie.

One day you were hunched over the toilet, legs sahking and tears streaming down your face from exertion. Bucky was away on a mission, so you didn’t even bother with the music or the water. What you hadn’t anticipated was him coming back hours earlier than he should’ve

The mission had gone much more smoothly than anticipated, which everyone was happy about. Bucky was glad he would get a few more hours with you. He had gone up to your shared room and let himself in, surprised to see you weren’t there. But then he heard you coughing from behind a closed bathroom door.

He felt like someone had punched him in the gut. You had been doing so well, what had happened?

He walked over to the door, knocking on it and calling out your name. He heard you muffle a small fuck before he knocked again.

“Y/n please, let me in.”

He heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on, you on the other side washing your face. You could feel the tears from exertion be replaced by ones of shame and embarrassment, biting your lip slightly. What the fuck were you going to tell him? 

When you finally turned off the water, you rubbed your face with a towel, sighing heavily into it. When you took it away, you looked long and hard at the doorknob. 

Bucky sighed on the other side of the door. “Y/n please. I’m not mad. We’ve been here before, I just wanna talk to you.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, taking a breath before you made your expression nuetral and opened the door. 

Bucky’s eyes immediately saddened when he took you in. your face was still red and there were tears in your eyes. You had tried to put up a front, he could tell that too. Sometimes you got angry with him because you didn’t want to be vulnerable. He was prepared because like he said - he’d helped you before.

Before he could say anything you crossed your arms. “You’re home early,” you said coldly.

“Y/n.” 

“How’d the mission go? Well, I assume.” you tried to slip past Bucky but he was blocking the door. 

Bucky took a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah, the mission went well.” He wanted to be gentle with you. “But how are you?”

You shrugged, trying to appear oblivious. “I’m fine,” voice wavering slightly as you looked away.

“Y/n please. You’re not fine. Can you tell me what happened?”

“The same thing that always happens” you said bitterly. “Something stupid comes up, I start feeling like shit about myself and I ignore it until I’m puking it up with everything else, alright? It’s the same story, different time, and now I have you looking at me all hurt just like I was worried about which is why I couldn’t tell you!” you exclaimed, eyes filled with anger and tears. Bucky looked at you as if you had just punched him in the face. He would’ve much preferred that you had.

“Y/n.”

You shook your head, trying to get through the door that he was blocking. “Bucky, just let me through the door, forget it.”

“Y/n just talk to me please, I -”

“JUST LET ME THROUGH THE GODDAMN DOOR.” You yelled, surprising Bucky. It had been a while since you had gotten this angry or defensive. But he stood his ground. Bucky was standing in front of you, blocking the door. His piercing blue eyes were locked on you, your own refusing to meet his. 

He wanted answers that you were not ready to give.

“Y/n, please. I just want to talk about this”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Bucky,” you said, feeling tears threatening to spill over. 

He took a deep breath. “You told me you would tell me if it was getting bad again.”

You closed your eyes and felt a pang in your stomach. “Bucky, I - “

“You promised,” he said, voice cracking.

You shook your head. “Why do I have to talk about this. It’s not like I’m hurting anybody” 

“You’re hurting yourself, y/n.” he said calmly.

You shook your head and narrowed your eyes slightly, tears falling. “That’s different Bucky, you know it is.”

“You aren’t somebody?”

You looked at him for a moment before a sob escaped your body, leaning on the counter for support as you brought a hand to your mouth. Bucky quickly came up behind you and pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you. You started crying harder, embarrassed and ashamed. 

“I’m sorry Bucky, I didn’t know what else to do, I didn’t know how to tell you, I -”

“Hey it’s okay, it’s alright y/n, I’m here.” Bucky kept whispering reassurances in your ears, rubbing a hand up and down your back. 

After some time passed, you didn’t know how long, you were able to calm down enough to take some shaky breaths, hiding your red face in Bucky’s chest.

“When did this start happening again?” he asked softly

“I don’t know… few weeks at least, not really sure.”

He took a breath, trying to stay calm. A few weeks and he hadn’t suspected anything, and you were alone. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were on a mission, I couldn’t interrupt that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when I got back?” he pressed gently.

“You were so tired Bucky - ”

“Y/n.” he said more firmly.

You paused for a moment, knowing he wouldn’t take those answers. If they were truly the reason then you would’ve told him the next day or the day after, as soon as the opportunity came. There was more to why you waited, and Bucky knew that. 

“I didn’t want to disappoint you,” you whispered. 

You heard Bucky sigh. He was angry with himself, for not being approachable to you. All he wanted was to make you feel safe enough to come to him, and to hear that you hadn’t because you thought he had expectations for you crushed him. “Y/n, I told you you could tell me about this. When have I ever been disappointed or angry with you?”

“You haven’t. You were just so proud and I - I didn’t want to ruin that for you. I didn’t want to tell you that you were proud of a lie.”

“Hey, hey look at me.” Hesitantly you looked up to meet his eyes. “None of this was you lying. You put in the hard work day after day, and I told you I was here to support you. But I never did the work for you. You did that. I’m proud of you and I always will be because you’re a fighter. It’s okay to have bad days, it’s okay to slip up. It’s okay to need a little help too, and that’s what I’m here for. A slip up doesn’t erase all the hard work you’ve put in before. I’m proud of you for the progress you’ve made, and of the work you put in. This doesn’t change anything sweetheart.”

He pulled you back into his chest.

“I’ll always be proud of you.”

#Bucky Barnes #buckybarnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barns imagine #bucky barns x you #MCU fanfiction #mcu imagine #mcu fic #MCU #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel #eating disorder comfort #tw eating disorder #tw

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Maladaptive Coping.”

This idea was given to me by a good friend of mine 

*WARNING* This issue of Krill’s journal contains literally ALL of the things that might bother you. Every self destructive behavior I could think of is mentioned in this piece. So PLEASE do not read it if there is even the slightest chance that it may bother you. I wont list everything here, and trust you to make your own decision on weather it is a good idea for you to read this or not. 

Also, a important note is that this is from an aliens perspective, and so does not contain every last nuance of these behaviors and the reasons behind them. I hope those of you who read a great day, and those who don’t read a great day as well! :)

The Journal of Xenomedical Biology 

Author: Dr. Krill of the Vrul 

The Human Manifestation of Self destructive Tendencies and Their Signs.

Over the past few years of studying and learning to understand humans, It has come to the attention of the medical community that humans are the most volatile species, psychologically. This is not meant as negative commentary on human issues as it might seem, but merely an observation that humans have the most widely varied pattern of psychological maladaptive responses when it comes to stress and related mental illness. Where each other species tends to have only two or three typical maladaptive responses, humans have been known to have analogous representations of all known mental abnormalities.

Now this journal is not specifically about all the ways the human brain can go wrong, but more accurately about the maladaptive response I have seen in humans over the past few years primarily demonstrating self destructive behaviors in one way or another.

You might notice an interesting pattern in my analysis today that clearly demonstrates a repetitive contradictory pattern in human self destructive tendencies, which will demonstrate just how varied and widely differing their responses can be.

First, humans have socially destructive behavior.which can come in many forms.

Withdrawal: from friends or close loved ones is a common self destructive behavior to look for in humans. This can happen on a large or small scale where the human withdraws for hours or even years. As a social species, humans find social interaction important, even if that is only remote communications with other humans. If that human begins to withdraw suddenly or even gradually over time, I might suggest being concerned about their well- being.

Now here is where the contradictions come into play, and forgive me if some of these social behaviors also overlap with the physical behaviors, with humans, they are often one in the same.

Increased socially dangerous behavior: now this may account for many things. Some humans will fall into a downward spiral where they surround themselves with other like minded humans and participate in dangerous physical activities, which I will discuss later

Increased partners: Now, while this behavior may be common for many humans, and could be argued as a physical behavior, there is cause for concern if a human suddenly increases the number of physical partners from their average. This usually accompanies reckless social behavior like not meeting the partner first before entering into a physical relationship, doing this on multiple occasions and might also be connected with the following -

Staying with an objectively horrible partner: now it is hard to identify why some humans do this, but often humans will choose a partner who is objectively horrible to them either physically or emotionally. Sometimes humans do this because they are afraid of the repercussions, are afraid of being alone, or they have been convinced that there is no other possible person out there who might love them. Humans put a lot of stock into physical relationships and many of them would rather be with someone horrible than be alone. Due to their social nature many humans put social interaction and partnership over their safety and mental health. If you see a human participating in this behavior, it is advised to get them help,even if the human does not want it. They deserve more than being treated horribly.

Now on occasion two humans in a downward spiral might come together and create a codependent relationship where they cannot function without one another. What the other human does the oher will follow and this can lead them both into a spiral of horrible physical and mental behaviors that will cause anguish in the long term. If one of them is involved with drugs, the other will follow etc.

Now some humans might even participate in self destructive behaviors that look good from an outside perspective. For instance, it is a common occurrence that humans overwork themselves to the point of burnout. Often humans throw themselves into their work to distract their minds and avoid the pain of something else, thi may include memories or having to return to an environment where they do not wish to go. These humans will work many hours and sacrifice their social lives to do more work, causing long term stress that can lead to heart attack stroke and other physical diseases related to increased stress and heightened blood pressure. Some humans may participate in this behavior as a way to prove themselves to others, that they are either competent or hard working.

On the flipside of this there are other humans who may just stop working at all. They let everything in their lives fall apart, and stop doing anything of note causing them to lose their jobs, their hobbies, their families and their friends. This one is often related to a withdrawal from other people and might include elements of physical recklessness like drug abuse.

Secondly and including a much wider range of self destructive behaviors, we see the physical manifestations of this phenomenon which vary widely and tend to come in opposing pairs..

Overheating and undereating: are two very common forms of stress response from humans. If humans have conditioned to see food as a reward for behavior or as a comforting mechanism (oten developed in childhood) they will eat in order to comfort themselves and to the point where it is adversely affecting their physical health. They may eat even if they are not hungry or if they are actively full. Some humans experience digestive issues while under stress and may even refuse to eat at all. There are other extreme cases where humans, usually in response to a perceived lack of control, will regulate their food intake to the point of starvation or other food related disorders.

This is closely related to over exercising, and also has links with a perceived lack of control in their life. These humans, often paired with restricted eating, will push themselves to their physical limit to control their own bodies as a form of having a hold on their own lives. This paired with restricted calories can cause an untold amount of damage both physically and metnally. Mental disorders linked to these behaviors are known to be the most deadly of disorders known to humans.

The consumption of Drugs and Alcohol

This is a very common and often overlooked  behavior in humans. Drinking is the consumption of beverages that contain Ethanol, which when reacting in the human brain causes, extreme mental degradation related to fuzziness and euphoria. Humans find this a pleasant feeling though it causes damage to many internal structures most primarily the liver. Unfortunately drinking is seen as a socially acceptable behavior with humans and so excessive drinking is often caught too late or not called out at all. These humans may drink from the beginning to the end of the day and will build up a tolerance to alcohol amounts that would kill another human. They build up an immunity to the point where they need larger and larger doses to feel the same effects. They will often neglect their social connections including friends and family for a chance with the bottle.

This is the same with other illicit drugs, which may have even more severe effects on the person and my lead to drug induced psychosis. Both substances are highly addictive to the point where a human may commit horrible acts like murder, robbery, etc to get the drugs that they crave. This is usually in response to some sort of mental anguish they are trying to drown out but may be related to them becoming hooked on drugs they needed after surgery. On rare occasions, this behavior began in conjunction with destructive social behaviors which lead them down into a spiral.

Excessive partying is often paired with drug use and an increased amount of intimate partners. Many humans who have fallen into this spiral might refuse to admit that they are spiraling at all. Generally limited use of a substance can be acceptable for a human, but there are plenty of other chemicals that should not be consumed at all.

There are even some drugs that are known to be mild on the user but may cause emotional dependence. These drugs are not known to cause physical dependance, but the human can convince themselves that they require the drug to function emotionally during the day and will neglect their family, friends and lives in order to spend more time with their drug of choice Again you will see the withdrawal from social contacts as an extreme warning sign in humans.

Sleeping too much or not sleeping at all:A human getting enough sleep is important for their mental health but sleeping too much is proven to throw off circadian rhythms and increase chances of depression or worsening depression. Humans require an amount of sleep that is no more or no less than what they need. Many humans will claim to not be getting enough sleep because they feel tired, when in reality their oversleeping causes grogginess and reduced amount of energy though it might seem counter intuitive.  On the other hand humans might refuse to sleep at all, instead occupying their time with some other activity. It is important to remember though that an inability to sleep might also be insomnia, and the human hs no choices in the matter. I find that humans, in general, are horrible at regulating a proper healthy sleep schedule.

Participation in dangerous hobbies. Now, I understand that this is common for many humans and does not indicate self destructive behavior, but I would consider noting when a human suddenly involves themselves in dangerous hobbies after not participating for a long time, especially when that human is not careful and doesnt take time to properly consider safety protocols. 

Another very common one is humans causing intentional physical harm to themselves. This comes in levels of severity and I would say that most humans do this to some degree or another. Often these are connected to nervous ticks or even learned behaviors from childhood. This can include, picking scabs, biting nails, picking at the skin of the thumbs or the lips, pilling hair, and biting the inside of the cheeks. These smaller behaviors are usually minor and do not require attention, they may cause scarring but are not generally connected to extreme mental anguish.

However, these behaviors can escalate dramatically to the use of knives and razors. This behavior is EXTREMELY maladaptive and indicates severe mental anguish and trauma and must be addressed immediately. These behaviors might escalate and be linked to loss of life by the human’s own hand. I have not witnessed this personally, and I never intend to as I keep a very close eye on my humans.

#HUMANS ARE WERID #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are insane #humans are deathworlders #earth is a deathworld #Earth is space Ausralia #humans are space oddities

[meichenxi]

Obsession, ‘productivity’ and habits vs routines: starting learning in a healthier way

cw: perfectionism, obsessiveness, allusion to eating disorders, depression, anxiety (very non-explicit) I’m going to be writing a series of posts from some asks I’ve had waiting for me, on how to build a cohesive language learning routine, but I wanted to preface that first with something we talk about less than we should in the language learning community: obsessiveness, perfectionism, recovery from mental health, and how to approach language learning in a better way. If the personal stuff bores you, feel free to skip the first two paragraphs. 

I have been trying to ‘be more productive’ - in healthy ways, and unhealthy ways - since I was about ten. If you don’t fit in, for whatever reason, hobbies - and especially creative or ‘productive’ ones - are a wonderful escape. They make you feel that it’s ok not to have friends; they let you look down on all those other stupid children with all the misplaced arrogance of every single bored, clever pre-teen. When I was twelve, I realised there was no point eating with people that didn’t like me and went to the library instead, because that was ‘dead time’. When I was fourteen, I realised getting the bus was ‘dead time’, and started doing Anki for two hours a day. When I was sixteen, I realised walking was ‘dead time’, and started either listening to podcasts or talking out loud. By the time I was eighteen, I was doing four A-levels in school, an EPQ, teaching myself an extra Latin GCSE, and taught myself the Spanish A-level in 3 months right before the exam. I also worked out for two hours a day - because eating lunch was ‘dead time’, and sleeping was ‘dead time’ - trained martial arts four evenings a week, tutored twice a week, had a part-time job as a waitress, played the flute in a prestigious orchestra, and was 150,000 words deep in the first draft of a very gay, Norse-mythology inspired fantasy novel. 

I had it all under control. My marks were excellent; I was a well-rounded person, musical and sporty and already decently on the way to becoming a polyglot, I was training to be a teacher, and I had plans to publish my novel. My home life was painful, but I was painfully independent with what I now like to call the ‘Elsa complex’. Or, actually, like Zuko: I could look after myself, by myself. It was all under control. 

I guess everyone can see where this is going. School ended, and with it came endless, open days. I fell apart. 

With endless surprise, I can now say that, four years later, I think I’ve come through the worst of it. I still have tendencies to get obsessive, but my anxiety and perfectionism are a lot better, I don’t dissociate, and I have - gasp! shock! - actual interest in life again. I never wrote that novel, but I’m still gay and still love Norse mythology, so I’m slowly finding my way towards writing again. What people don’t tell you about getting better, though, is that trying to define yourself, trying to find yourself, as a person who exists without mental illness, is very, very hard. Many of the things that you used to identify as core components of your personality or important values may have changed, and you may be hesitant about trying to take up hobbies that you used to enjoy because you recognise - and rightly so - that the incessant drive to be doing something, all the time, didn’t necessarily come from anywhere healthy. That those things which you clung to and which protected you may actually have ended up harming you in the end. A lot of figuring out old patterns of unhelpful thoughts involves realising that the things that you defended or framed as helping - weren’t. That’s a hard thought, especially because those mechanisms developed to try and protect you, one that’s immeasurably sad. 

Seperating your reasons for doing something obsessively and your love of it in the first place, before it became unhealthy, is difficult. And it means that when you feel - finally, finally - ready to start tackling something like language learning again, you end up sorting of approaching it sideways, shiftily, as if you’re hoping to trick yourself into it. It’s a delicate thing, like a baby bird, and it’s dangerous too, because if you do everything which you did before - the only thing you know how to do - it’s not going to work. And every time it fails is personal, because being able to do it again represents getting better, and reclaiming parts of your identity mental illness stole, and it hurts.

I’m writing this post because somebody asked me about my approach to creating a successful language learning routine. And I do have a lot of thoughts - but I wanted to preface that post with this one, to say:

If you are reading this to be more productive, if it is becoming obsessive, if you want to fit the most possible language learning into the tightest schedule possible, STOP. Take care of yourself. These tips for ‘productivity’ are for people who want to learn a little bit more about organising their time, and are in the right space to add more learning to their life. If you are only defined by what many hours you get done a day, if that’s what motivates you, these tips are not for you. Look after yourself. 

And on that note, here’s a confession: I don’t have - have never had - a successful language learning routine. Because of what happened, the only way I can keep going and prevent myself from falling into bad habits is if I approach it sideways, if I pretend I’m not taking it seriously, because I know if I don’t things will go wrong. But I want to be honest and upfront because I know a lot of people read my posts for advice and say that this doesn’t work for me. It might not work for you either. I especially know there are a lot of conceptions of successful langblrs with 7, 8, 9 etc languages in the title - that that we spend 5 hours a day on Anki, fall asleep to Glossika, and so on. And it’s especially important to mention now, because I feel like my language learning habits have only started being healthy in the last year or so - essentially since I started actually enjoying Chinese media. I could teach you how to cram every spare second with language learning, or how to successfully pass an A-level in 3 months with no teachers. I was good (and arrogant, and cocky, and needed bringing down a peg or two). But I won’t.

What I do have are succesful language learning habits. Apart from being a generally more flexible appraoch for all learners, the advantage of building successful habits over a fixed routine is that it allows for learning according to different in energy levels, how busy you are, what you find difficult and what else is going on in your life. Most crucially for me is that it is always a much healthier approach, because what I do is not based on number of hours, or number of units a week, or anything quantifiable that allows me to get obsessive again or frustrated that I’m not doing enough. 

Routine is important, especially when it comes to routinising daily tasks. The only thing I have is that sometimes - on good weeks, and once or twice even shockingly on good months - I have a decent Anki streak going. That’s it. I don’t listen every day - I don’t read every day - I certainly don’t do grammar every day. There’s nothing specific I do every day, though I usually rack up a good few hours of immersion or study - to be honest, I fail at Anki probably at least 60% of the time. Everything else - all these tips I have written about - I do as and when. Framing it in such vague terms makes it sound like I must have an extraordinary amount of motivation to keep going, that maybe I’m just lucky to be interested etc, but that’s really not the case. What I have done to keep learning regularly and somewhat successfully (I hope!!) without limiting myself to a routine which I know I will starting obsessing over is tying specific language learning behaviour to certain moods or levels of concentration. 

All routine is just habit. Habit, with a ribbon and packaged nicely. But allowing yourself to adapt your learning to the circumstances gives you more flexibility than any strict routine, and is more sustainable in the long term. What building habits rather than a specific routine does is allow you to learn what works best when, what works when you’re tired, and what is best to do when you have energy, or when you want to watch a show, or talk to people. It puts you at the centre of your language learning, rather than framing language learning as a central part of you. 

So how can we build healthy habits? How can we utilise ‘dead time’ whilst keeping it light, and fun? How can we adapt our language learning for times when we are tired, and stressed? Or what about when we don’t have time to give 100% of our attention or concentration? How can we identify our own strengths, our own weaknesses, and unite these with our personal goals to figure out what to prioritise in active studying, and what to do when we don’t have the energy for that? 

I’ll give my thoughts on all of these over the next couple of weeks, in what I hope will be a comprehensive overview of how best to practice, addressing everything from how to practice speaking to how to start as a complete beginner. If you have any thoughts or interim questions, or if you’d like to add your own experience to anything I have said, please feel free to!

In the mean time - 

chenxi out. 

#chinese #learning chinese #langblr #depression #anxiety #perfectionism #obsessiveness #mental health #recovery #I actually wrote the next post about building habits first #but it didn't feel right because personally I don't reeeeeeally have a successful routine #and giving advice about that - though I do have a lot of ideas - without acknowledging that seems hypocritical at best and unhelpful at wors #I'm lucky enough at the moment that chinese is my **special interest** #so I just sort of...do it without organising it and without much external motivation #but then again my way of learning is also a complete mess #I just look up words in things I'm reading and add them to Anki and learn them SOMETIMES #there's no structure #I really admire people who can sit down with a textbook and do a certain number of things per week #THAT is how you're going to proceed #I write so much about what I'm going to do and my plans and never ever do them #could it BE that I have adhd? who would have guessed #so many promises and I never do them AHHHHHH #anyway #actuallyadhd #excuse the personal Dramatic Backstory as ever but I feel it's important to give my own perspective and humanise the blog a bit #don't do what I do folks lmao

[awed-frog]

Do you have any tips on how to stop binge eating? No purge yet but i’m close

Hey, sorry you’re going through that. I don’t know if I can help, but here are a few tips.

First of all - if this is something that happens frequently, you might have Binge Eating Disorder (if you purge, we’re going straight into bulimia territory), and that’s serious, so don’t leave it alone. Find a therapist if you can, or at least an online community (and NOT something HAES-based, if they say bingeing is normal behaviour or that you have to stop ‘restricting’ to fix this it, run).

For right now: I’d say, the most important thing is DON’T PURGE. Throwing up frequently will do a lot of damage to your stomach, and taking laxatives will mess with your entire digestive system, which that can be hard to recover from. I know you’re afraid you’ll gain weight if you don’t purge, but you do not want to spend the rest of your life avoiding most foods because you have an extra delicate stomach or become addicted to laxatives because you can’t poop without them. So even if you mess up and have a binge, do NOT purge.

Tips for not bingeing:

Don’t keep foods that trigger you in your home. If you feel like something specific, buy it and eat it outside - not in your car, but outside. In a restaurant if you can, and on a nice park bench if you can’t. That way, you’ll be less tempted to keep eating indefinitely, and instead turn that urge into a normal meal or snack. Don’t buy ingredients for several meals you’re craving (if you’re craving pizza and pasta, only buy a pizza or pasta sauce, not both) and don’t buy multiple packages of whatever even if it’s cheaper (one packet of crisps, one pizza and so on; and, if possible, snack-sized packets of biscuits and peanuts; if you’re craving cake, go to a nice bakery and get yourself a big slice instead of buying a cheap cake from a supermarket).

Be aware of situations that triggers you and plan around them. If you aren’t sure about connections, start keeping a very honest food / mood / events diary so you can spot patterns. Triggers can by situational (a fight with a loved one, your mom being annoying, having to buy new clothes and so on) or physical (PMS, insulin out of whack so even one piece of chocolate will lead to overeating more stuff). Once you know what triggers you, avoid what you can and try to plan ahead for what you can’t.

(For instance, if a weekly review at your job triggers you, arrange to see or call a friend afterwards or go to the movies.)

To make PMS better, there are things you can try: the best ones are exercise (especially outside) and satisfying meals (eat healthy but add fats even if you’re craving sugars).

Distract yourself and get away from passive &screen-related activities. Try putting on some music and dancing, or cleaning the house. Reorganize your closet. Start a hobby you have to do with your hands - knitting, crafts, clay. Go for a walk if you can. Listen to audiobooks. Take a nice shower. Call someone (it can be a support buddy you can talk to about cravings, but also someone who doesn’t know: it’s nice just to talk).

Tips for after bingeing:

Do not feel bad about it. This is a mental health issue. Bingeing doesn’t mean you’re weak or worthless, it means you have a disease and you’re trying to get better. You wouldn’t say someone who’s got the flu is weak-willed, and this is exactly the same.

Clean your kitchen and throw away everything that’s left. I know - it’s not ideal to waste food, but chances are, if you have any leftovers that can trigger you, you’ll start bingeing again tomorrow morning. So put everything in a bag and physically walk out of your house and throw it away.

Make yourself a nice cup of tea - if possible, something that will help with digestion.

Cheer yourself up: this was a stumble, and doesn’t negate your achievements and how far you’ve come in your life.

Go to bed early.

Do not fall into the trap of the ‘I might as well’ mentality. This is called black and white thinking and is common in many kinds of mental health issues: the idea is that if you ‘ruined’ your meal or your day or your schedule, ‘you might as well’ give up for the day or the week. This is your mental health issue speaking, and it’s bullshit. I don’t particularly like Jillian Michaels, but she was right when she said ‘Think of it this way: If you got a flat tire, what would you do? Change the tire? Or get out of the car and slash the other three tires? No! Get back on the road. Don't dwell on it; don't beat yourself up. That gets you nowhere.’

You had one bad meal, or one bad day. It doesn’t feel great, but it’s not the end of the world. Have a good night’s sleep and start fresh tomorrow.

General tips:

Binge eating disorder often starts when you use food as a coping mechanism, so work on that. Many of us are messed up because parents generally associate food rewards to good behaviour and good food to joyful occasions, but that connection needs to be broken down. If you had a good day, don’t reward yourself with food (go to a spa, buy yourself some fun earrings or a nice book) and if you had a bad day, absolutely do NOT console yourself with food (call a friend, go to the movies, go to a fun place like an aquarium, buy yourself something nice that’s not food-related).

Unless you’re underweight (check your BMI and fat percentage), pregnant or breastfeeding, do compensate for a binge - in a healthy, sustainable way. Do not have a water fast day, but maybe cut down on portions, sauces or sweets for a couple of days? 

I know people say there’s no bad foods and ‘everything in moderation’, but imo that’s not true. We’re surrounded by fake foods that mess with our hormones and bodies, and cutting them out completely can be a great idea. For instance: junk food sucks. I know it’s made so be enjoyable so we enjoy it, but it is what it is. Sugar is also very bad, and should be eaten very rarely, if at all (my favourite book on the subject is The World Corrupted, but there are many out there).

If you’re craving a particular food, make it yourself or get a ‘good’ version of it. Enjoying a restaurant meal with someone or cooking a nice dish or glorious cupcakes for your friends, spouse or kids is much better and more satisfying than hoarding low-quality food from some 7/11 (it might not feel that way in the beginning, but that will get better).

Try to make your health the priority: eat good food (lots of seasonal veggies, grains and beans, healthy fats, quality source proteins), stick to water, tea and some coffee, move around regularly (we should all do some sport that makes our heartbeat raise, but if you’re not used to that a gentle walk around the block is perfectly fine: the idea is to make it a habit), check your vitamin levels (a lack of something will cause bad moods!), manage your stress (easier said than done, but stress does have a very harmful effect on your entire body, so we all have to try what we can).

If you don’t feel in control of your eating, and if your eating habits are affecting your quality of life or preventing you from having a normal life (rapid weight gain or loss, spending money you don’t have, lying to loved ones, recurrent fights over food, obsessive thoughts, withdrawing from social life etc), then SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY. Eating disorders are a disease, and it’s very rare that they get better on their own. 

Be patient. You didn’t get an eating disorder overnight, and recovery will also take time. That is fine and normal.

Again, stay the hell away from fat activists and HAES groups.

I hope this helped. Please remember you’re not alone. Eating disorders are extremely common, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just look after yourself, and treat this as you would any purely physical health issue. Recovery is possible, managing the disease is possible. Just hang in there and best of luck.

#ask #eating disorders for ts #binge eating disorder #ed #bed #bulimia #purging #mental health #life tips #you can do this <3

[missmentelle]

How do i know if I'm faking my tics or not? I know they're been happening on and off for about a year, But I'm not certain if i actually have them. I've done research, But it only clarified the types of tics some can have. If you can help me in any way, That'd be fantastic! Thank you <3

If tics are a new thing for you and they've been happening off and on for a while, there's a couple of things that could be happening here.

It's pretty unlikely that you've suddenly developed full-fledged Tourette's Syndrome - Tourette's usually develops between the ages of 7-11, and developing it later than that is very unusual if you haven't had a serious head injury or other brain trauma (which I assume you would have mentioned). It is possible, however, for people under 18 to develop something called Transient Tic Disorder - this is a disorder where kids and adolescents just sort of... develop tics, for unknown reasons. Transient Tic Disorder lasts up to 12 months, and usually disappears on its own.

It's also possible to develop tics temporarily due to stress or anxiety. This sort of makes sense - we don't entirely know what causes tics, but we do know that they are associated with wonky levels of neurotransmitters in the brain, something that can also be caused by extreme stress. Since we've spent the last year living through one of the most stressful events of the past century - one that has affected pretty much every human life on earth - it's entirely possible that your tics are a byproduct of the enormous amounts of stress that you're under. Stress-related tics tend to get worse when you are experiencing intense emotions, stress or anxiety, and they get worse if you think about them.

It does seem that Tourettes and Tic disorders have also become.... somewhat trendy on online platforms like TikTok. Since Tourette's has become popular on TikTok, there has actually been a very large spike in teenage girls suddenly seeking Tourettes diagnoses - this is quite unusual, as we have never had a large spike in cases like this before, and it's very uncommon for women to suddenly develop Tourette's after puberty. It's possible that some women are just realizing they have Tourettes due to increased awareness, and it's possible that there's just a huge rise in stress-related tic disorders (because again, this is coinciding with a global pandemic). But it's also possible that this is due to suggestibility - highly empathetic or suggestible people sometimes develop symptoms that they see other people displaying. I wouldn't call this "faking" - I think the symptoms are very real to the people experiencing them, but they don't have a biological basis. If you're watching a lot of Tourettes or tic-related content, I would take a break from that for a while and see if that affects your tics.

I've lived with "authentic" Tourettes tics for most of my life now, and although it's hard for me to entirely describe what they feel like (they're just a part of my normal experience of 'living in my body' now), I can say that tics feel like an urge that you can't really resist for long. They aren't entirely involuntary - I can suppress my tics for a short while, as can most people with milder tic disorders. But suppressing tics is not comfortable at all, and the urge to tic builds the longer I suppress it, until it's sort of all I can think about.

My tics only occur on the right side of my body (very common in milder cases of Tourettes) and they have gotten milder as I age (again, common - tics drop off in severity after adolescence). My tics are noticeably worse when I am stressed, tired, anxious or excited, or when someone has drawn attention to them. There's no real rhythm to my tics - sometimes I'll have a few in a row, sometimes none for 10-15 minutes, it's hard for even me to predict it. The lack of a regular pattern is true for pretty much everyone with a tic disorder. I have some of the most common tics - throat-clearing, grimacing, neck-stretching, and jerky movements of my hand and wrist. I present very similarly to most other people with tic disorders - elaborate, severe tics that involve multiple body parts or "swearing" tics are uncommon, and something that you would develop in childhood.

I think the biggest thing here is not to worry about whether your tics are "real" or not - if you can't stop them whenever you want, they're real to you. If they are causing you significant distress or if they're getting noticeably worse it might be a good idea to talk to a doctor, but if they're just kind of background noise in your life, there's probably not much to be done about them. I think the biggest focus here should be on managing your stress and anxiety; no matter what is causing your tics, stress and anxiety will make them worse. What helps you cope? Do you need to unplug from the news for a while? Spend more time on art and hobbies? Reconnect with friends you've lost touch with? Take up meditation? Talk to a mental health professional? Learning effective coping strategies can help with all areas of your mental and physical health, and it will likely help you reduce your tics if they don't go away on their own. Best of luck to you! MM

#answeredbyMM

[thedancefloorsilly]

Heyo! I don't really know how to start this but I saw your event and I was intrigued. Also congrats on 300! I guess I'll order (I don't know how else to put it) a romantic feitan headcannon?

I'm 5'5" and I was gifted with fitting traditional beauty standards, yay misogyny. My hair is dyed black and reaches the base of my neck and is very layered, I also wear silver wire glasses because my eyes have failed me. Not to brag but I think I have a good sense of style that varies through different aesthetics, but my favorite go to outfit is a tennis skirt with a button up tucked in with a graphic-tee over it, nothing too fancy. I have two tattoos, one is a memorial tattoo for my father (rip my dad), it is on my left shoulder blade, it is a sun going over a horizon with some neat trees and a river. My other tattoo are two snakes that wrap around my right arm and each other starting at about 3 inches above my wrist to about 4 inches above my elbow. One the snakes have a Galaxy pattern while the other is a normal snake, it is supposed to represent my sun sign, aquarius!

Now into personality stuff, I am really big into astrology, so I am an aquarius sun, cancer moon, and a Gemini rising- and my Venus is Pisces. My MBTI is an INTP-T, I just figured that out last night. I am afab and my pronouns are she/they, I would consider myself queer. Now for hobbies, in my spare time I write, and do classical ballet or if I'm feeling extra creative I'll pick up my flute or piccolo. In school I study sociology with an emphasis on criminology and public policy. My first language is English, I speak a little french and Italian, but I am currently studying farsi. Mental health wise, it has been a journey- I was diagnosed with Manic-Depression and ADHD so life happens in spurts. I also still am recovering from an eating disorder, but because I have gone through these things I make a point to talk about it so other people suffering with similar things know they aren't alone. Also I'm a cat person to lighten the mood. My first job was at a cat cafe but I sinced moved on to be an unpaid intern, yay capitalism.

Hi!! Oh thats cool welcome to my blog then 🥳 and tysm!! ty for joining + I hope you like these :))

Event: Closed

- He found it interesting to know that you're able to speak different languages, because so can Feitan!! Since your first language is English, you don’t often speak things in other languages, but Feitan still likes to listen to you talk in them. As for him, he will always speak things in his mother tongue just to show you!

- Since it might be little hard for him to put together the things he wants to say, and the fact that he likes to keep to himself (especially when it comes to his feelings) it might take a little longer for Feitan to express his feelings for you verbally (for example, saying things like ‘I love you’). With that being said, he will take this as an opportunity for him to say those sweet things he’s always wanted to say, but in his mother tongue, figuring that you might not know what he’s saying. 

- Sometimes, if you and him are just randomly spending time together, he will suddenly call out your name and then start speaking in his own language. Though you mightt be confused since Feitan NEVER translates what he was saying after, in reality, he just said a whole bunch of nice things about you!!

- Another thing Feitan likes to do is seeing you dance! When you mentioned it to him that you do classical ballet, this definitely intrigued Feitan, and was then asking you if you could show him! If you agreed to do so, the whole time, Feitan just couldn’t take his eyes off of you! He always finds your movements so graceful and satisfying to watch, and his eyes will just follow you the whole time as you dance. Once you’re done, Feitan will give you a very small round of applause, showing that he was definitely impressed!!

- Though he wouldn’t say he’s the best at helping people with what they are feeling, Feitan will try his best to support you along the way. You, of course, are his lover, and with that Feitan will try to help you out when you’re in those depressive moments. 

- You’re a cat person and Feitan is.. like a cat? But anyways, Feitan couldn’t really imagine himself taking care of a pet, mainly because the idea of it has never crossed his mind. That is until one day, you actually convinced him to go to a cat cafe together! At first, Feitan wasn’t really up to it, but once he actually got there, he instantly took back those previous thoughts. Surprisingly, he was actually getting along great with the cats (maybe because his personality resembles them so much)?? 

- After that, this certain experience definitely prompted him to do something... One day when you were coming home, you weren’t expecting to see a black cat resting near Feitan’s lap while he was petting it gently on the couch. Though it was surely a surprise to see this cold-blooded thief suddenly being affectionate towards the pet, it was such a cute sight to see nonetheless.

#last one woop! #since you were the last one to request #I guess u can say we were saving the best for last ;D #working at a cat cafe sounds so cool omg #300 followers event

[quasikool]

hi! i hope you're having a lovely day so far. would you mind elaborating on that post about the adhd urge to catalog / organize? i think i have adhd and i love organization and i've thought they went together for a while now, but i can't find any actual information on this?? thank you!!

Hey! Yeah sure, I will try best. Couple points, the first being a disclaimer that I’m not an expert, much of this is from my therapists/prescribers over the years and my own experience. also rambling bc its 10:30pm on a Friday night and my meds wore off hours ago

1. So the thing about ADHD (and many mental health disorders, like anxiety/depression, etc) is that a lot of people (if not most people) experience some of the symptoms some of the time. That’s partly why a lot of ADHD posts online are so popular - many ppl can relate to them to some degree! It only becomes a Thing you need to deal with when the symptoms of it are starting to interfere with your life and health and happiness. 

I’ve told this to several people IRL when they’ve asked me (an infamous haver of ADHD): If the things that make you think you have ADHD are things that are disruptive to your life in some way, it may be helpful to look into an official diagnosis and treatment. Otherwise, there’s really not much need to worry about it, beyond a chuckle and a “hey, i do that!” 

That said, I have diagnosed ADHD, and have been medicated for it for like 5 years. I don’t know if this is important, but I felt like it should be clarified.

2. I’m not sure if organizing specifically is a mark of ADHD, but hyper focussing on projects definitely IS.  

Many people actually like to organize things, especially the things they enjoy. People LOVE to categorize stuff and humans LOVE to find patterns, it just makes sense.  

I’ve noticed from the notes on the post in question that a lot of ppl say their HOBBIES (embroidery floss, fancy tea, beads) are organized, but their everyday life stuff (fridge, laundry, paperwork) is a hot mess.  That is to say - it’s fun to have a project of organizing to hyper focus on for a bit, but not so much fun to keep coming back to it for routine maintenance day after day. And with ADHD, if thing fun: brain do; if thing not fun: brain no do.

3. Final point: I made that post as a joke about myself specifically! I had just had a hyper-focused session where I spent 3 straight hours organizing my computer files, only to have forgotten where I put a certain type of file literally immediately upon completion. It was never meant to be an all-encompassing statement or fact! I’m glad ppl find it relatable and funny, but in the end it’s just a goof about my own brain and my inability to find my own tax forms on my computer. 

If you have questions about any of that, I'm happy to answer if I can!

#this is such a wall of text i tried to keep it short #sunnydwrites #Anita answers asks #that ADHD feel #it really do pop out